#i dont necessarily believe this is TRUE.. but it is fun.... so if anyone wants to write this into a fic PLEASE TAG MEEE!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dottores · 1 year

Text

HELIOTROPES

pairing: dottore x fem!reader & segments

summary: the gods were sick and twisted. for five hundred years, he believed he was fated to be alone. he had long accepted it—embraced it, even. that is, until a midwinter night when that elusive red thread finally appeared on his finger. but as much as he wants to ignore it, the pull of a soulmate simply cannot be ignored.

genre: soulmate au, canon compliant for the most part

warnings: fem!reader, worldbuilding for snezhnaya & fatui, mentions of past prostituion (not dottore or reader), implication of reader being slapped and getting hurt (not badly)

notes: i dont think u guys understand how much fun im having introducing the segments sobs. adhufsdiuf i might make a little reference sheet for them and attach it to masterlist if u guys want

JOY

Mutiny.

He had been dealing with mutiny for five years. He should have expected that the Iota segment wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut. He should have sewn it shut. In a matter of a week, every single one of the segments knew that their red thread had finally appeared. In a matter of a month, every single one of the segments had abandoned their projects to return to Dottore’s estate in Snezhnaya and Dottore was fed up.

This was exactly what he didn’t want to happen. He knew his segments because they were him, and he knew that as soon as they found out, they would be on their way back to Snezhnaya to find out if it was true for themselves. He had half a mind to deactivate every single one of them but he figured that even if he did that and recreated them, it would just be the same issue all over again and a massive waste of resources because the segments would not change--it was why they were created, to preserve his mentality at different years.

It did not take long for the older segments to put together what Dottore was planning on doing with the red thread and their soulmate and they were not happy about it.

Dottore didn’t think he had a single day for himself in the past five years. The segments were relentless, offering to help with his research. Two sets of eyes are better than one, they would say, but Dottore knew they were full of shit. Dottore had always valued his independence highly, even as a child. There was no way that they all suddenly wanted to work with him at any given moment after years of convincing him that they were perfectly capable of running research without his supervision. They were using it as an excuse to keep an eye on him, to make sure that he didn’t make any progress on figuring out how to sever the thread, and Dottore was livid over it.

Every day, a different segment was waiting for him at his lab or in the library, pressing him to work on a variety of different projects--none being research on the red thread, of course. And to Dottore’s absolute frustration, his segments were as manipulative and intelligent as him, so whenever he tried to brush them off to do as he pleased, he was met with snide comments about so much for not letting their soulmate get in the way of their research.

He had backed himself into a corner, and it was no one’s fault but his own.

Dottore sighed as he flipped through one of Epsilon’s reports.

Ley line outcrops sprouting up more often in Avidya forest.

Possible roots in Dragonspine breaking the surface? Does Irminsul grow upside down?

Upside down, Dottore pressed his fingers to his temple, trying to think. Could it be growing in the Abyss, and the roots are traveling up through the earth past the surface?

How would that even work? Could the Abyss sustain life? Does the Irminsul tree even count as life?

One of his hands slid down his face, rubbing at his mouth as he tried to piece together the puzzle laid out before him. He would have to talk to the Balladeer. The Sixth was the one that Pierro frequently sent on missions down in the Abyss, if anyone knew more about it, it would be him… or Pierro himself, but Dottore did not necessarily want to go out of his way to talk to Pierro because it usually ended in him being sent on another mission.

“Let us go looking for them.”

It was Rho again, this time, standing at the door to Dottore’s lab. He exhaled, dragging his gaze up from the papers to the segment. Once he was acknowledged, Rho stepped into the room and Dottore raised his eyebrows waiting for him to continue. Rho looked pointedly at Dottore’s thumb, Dottore just shook his head once he realized what Rho was referring to, turning around to prepare a burner.

“You would deny the younger segments time with our soulmate? Deny them the experience of actually knowing their soulmate while they are the same age?” Rho pressed, drawing closer to Dottore. Dottore looked at Rho over his shoulder, warning him: don’t you dare come closer. Rho pressed his lips together, stopping midstep. “It’s been five years since the thread appeared, they are already five years older than Kappa. They’re the same age as Iota. Soon they’ll be older than him, and Gamma, you know how Gamma-”

“There is no way to find them,” Dottore dismissed. “Get back to work.”

“Iota has been hysterical for days, Gamma is so anxious that he can barely focus on his research. Neither of them had ever given up hope that our soulmate would appear and you’re going to refuse-”

“How do you intend for me to find them?” Dottore was getting irritated. Never had he dealt with so much insubordination from his segments until this cursed red thread had shown up. “Follow the string? We both know that’s not possible. There will be no clues for another five years, at least, and ten years is more likely.”

Rho was frustrated, Dottore could tell from the way the segment was clenching and unclenching his jaw rapidly. Dottore couldn’t bring himself to care because quite frankly, he was frustrated. He could feel the emotions of each segment, of course he knew Gamma was anxious, of course he knew Iota was hysterical. He could feel his anxiety, he could feel his hysteria. He could feel Zeta’s hope and Theta’s rage. He could feel Delta’s stress and Epsilon’s curiosity. He could feel Lambda’s indifference and he could feel every single one of his own emotions so intensely that he wanted to rip out his own hair.

He was not used to it. Even after five years, he was not used to it. He had gone centuries feeling little to nothing and he felt overwhelmed--he couldn’t figure out how to deal with this in an efficient manner and over the past week, it just seemed to be getting worse.

“We can go in the general direction,” Rho finally responded and Dottore only shook his head, closing his eyes.

He felt tired, he felt so tired all of a sudden and he wasn’t sure why--he had never felt so tired so abruptly before. He wondered if the whole situation was finally starting to set in, five years later. None of them had the nerve to confront him about this before now.

“Good luck with that,” Dottore said dryly, “All of Teyvat is south of us, you’ll have six whole nations to search.”

“You could help,” Rho snapped, Dottore could see his segment’s temper waning, and he could feel his own thinning. “Instead of trying to…”

He thought maybe it was more than just being tired over the situation.

He exhaled carefully, fingers pressing hard into the cool metal table beneath his hand. His body felt exhausted, as if he had been forced into spars with the Captain again. His chest felt heavy and his mind felt sluggish, and it was so sudden. If Dottore didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought one of his segments had the audacity to try to drug him.

Rho was still talking, but Dottore was now distracted, trying to figure out what was wrong with himself before Rho could take advantage of the apparent weakness to push him even more. His gaze drifted up to the vents of his lab, filtering the air from some of the more dangerous chemicals that he worked with in his experiments.

Had they failed?

No, Rho would be feeling it as well.

Unless it was only affecting him because he’s been in the room longer.

Even then, Dottore’s body was created to withstand what would take down the average human’s body. Chemicals should not be enough to make him feel like this. It had to be something else.

It had to be something else.

But what?

Dottore didn’t know and the longer he dwelled on the issue, the more his body betrayed him. Rho was beginning to realize something was wrong, he could tell from the way his voice was becoming slower, from the way his brows were furrowing as he observed Dottore.

What was-

The thread. Dottore’s gaze drifted down to his thumb as the thread vibrated--once, twice, three times, the daily goodnight that he had become familiar with. Every night, without fail, once the sun began to fall, his soulmate would flick the thread, he had become accustomed to it in a way that he shouldn’t have. His gaze drew to the side, to the window of his lab where the sun began to set over the snowy hills in the distance.

He hadn’t realized it had gotten so late.

“It’s been five years since the thread appeared,” Rho had reminded him.

Five years. His soulmate would have turned ten years old recently.

The third stage: emotions, pains, they would be shared between the two soulmates—begins once both soulmates have reached the age of ten.

At once, all of the puzzle pieces joined together before his eyes--the tiredness, the influx of emotions that did not belong to him or one of his segments, the odd, momentary pains that would prick his hands and knees. They were not his emotions or his pain. It was not his fatigue.

It was his soulmate’s.

Dottore was many things--a scholar and a Harbinger, but above all, he was a fool and suddenly, a very, very mortal one at that.

Some people thought it romantic that Celestia prevented soulmates from finding one another before their fated meeting. Dottore thought it was absurd—especially because he had to deal with… this.

The Iota segment was sobbing, curled in on himself on the ground, babbling about how their string was gone and their soulmate was dead. Dottore wondered if he should be embarrassed, staring at the younger version of himself, unimpressed and unmoved by the outburst, arms crossed at his chest as people in the city began to look their way--never for too long, because they knew exactly what the symbols that adorned their cloaks meant, but long enough that it was beginning to tickle his nerves.

The Delta and Gamma segments were trying to calm him down, telling him that no, their soulmate was still alive and yes, the thread was still there--Iota just couldn’t see it because it disappeared from his view. Celestia’s oh so convenient way of stopping soulmates from tracking each other down before they were meant to meet each other.

Dottore shook his head, exasperated when all attempts at soothing Iota failed. This was exactly why he didn’t like bringing his segments out with him, it always became some sort of project. Dottore’s lips twisted into a frown as he contemplated just leaving them to continue further into the city, in the direction of the old building that was rumored to be the base of the new black market network spreading throughout the Snezhnayan capital, encroaching on the territory of the organization that had been working with the aristocrats and the Fatui for decades to keep the economy stable.

Dottore was the one sent to shut it down before it got out of hand, sent to defend their ‘partners’... and perhaps get a few important figures in their debt. He hadn’t necessarily wanted to go but he figured while he was out, he could get Gamma the supplies he had been looking for before he had started having a meltdown over their soulmate, but once Iota found out that Gamma was joining him, Iota insisted on coming along… and since Iota was tagging along, Delta demanded on coming too, not one to let the ten-year-old segment out of his sight for long.

Dottore supposed it was for the best, he could leave the other two to handle the outburst while he went to shut down the new competition.

The wind was brisk against his skin as he made his way down the dirt roads, small vendors lined the streets, their stands dusted with snow, the shop owners bundled beneath heavy cloaks and furs. None of them dared to try to sell their products to him--instead, he only received wary glances and hushed whispers as he passed by.

The people of Snezhnaya did not trust the Fatui. They had no love left for the Tsaritsa and her followers, placing all of their faith in the old aristocratic families of their motherland instead. The noble families kept the coffers full and homes warm in the dead of winter where their Archon had abandoned them and the Fatui cared for naught but their own goals and ambitions.

There was some truth behind their reasoning, Dottore acknowledged as he turned down the last side street. The Tsaritsa did abandon her people to prepare for the war against Celestia, even if it was for their own good in the long run, and the Fatui did only really care for their own goals… or at least Dottore did. Capitano, Arlecchino, Pulcinella and Signora, they all had varying degrees of sympathy for the common folk but it didn’t matter because when it came down to it, they would always put the downfall of the gods first.

And that disconnect would always keep the aristocrats a level above the Fatui when it comes to good relations with the civilians. It was none of Dottore’s business, he didn’t handle politics--that was up to Pulcinella to try to fix--but it was beginning to affect his research. His funding was decreasing rapidly, and between that and dealing with his segments and the influx of emotions from his soulmate, Dottore was at his wits end.

His soulmate was an anxious little thing. He had learned how to differentiate between which emotions were coming from his segments and which were coming from them. There wasn’t much he felt on their end besides nervousness and tiredness at night and as frustrating as it was, he could not close off their emotions like he could with his segments. No matter how hard he tried to ignore the waves of drowsiness and apprehension, they always managed to trounce him at the most inopportune times.

But it was midday now, so he shouldn’t be at risk of any unwelcome sensations. He figured it was the best time to confront their new enemies.

Dottore exhaled as he finally reached the old building—it was worn down, the wood of the door split down the middle. He was not sure what he was expecting but it was not this.

He frowned as he pushed the door open, bracing himself for a group of enemies inside only to find an empty, unfurnished room. His frown deepened, gaze darting around as he tried to figure out if this was some sort of trap or if the place had been abandoned… and if it had been abandoned, that means the Fatui had a rat to sniff out.

… But the place didn’t seem to be abandoned. In fact, it looked as if someone was living there. Water was boiling on a stove in the corner of the room, there was a half-eaten meal on a dingy kitchen table, and on the opposite side of the room, there was a bed with half-made sheets.

He wondered if the location he was given was wrong because this place appeared to be a refuge for a homeless person.

There was a door at the end of the room with a dim light glowing from beneath and Dottore decided he better at least try to get some answers as to the actual location of the base before heading out, lest he deal with the Jester’s displeasure again.

A thin layer of snow coated parts of the hardwood floor, having trespassed through the split roof above, crunching beneath his boot as he approached the door. He didn’t waste a second when he got to the door, pushing it open hard—perhaps too hard, considering it nearly came off the hinges as it slammed into the wall.

Dottore’s eyes narrowed on the only figure in the room. A young man, no older than nineteen or twenty, leaped to his feet, violet eyes unfocused and wild at Dottore’s arrival. He was tall and thin, too thin, dark hair poorly kempt. He would have brushed him off as another homeless citizen of Snezhnaya, to be dead as soon as the first blizzard of the winter hit… but Dottore hesitated, noting the inked quill in his hand, and the parchment on the desk he was sitting at.

Two long strides and Dottore was at the desk, snatching the parchment before the man could react. His eyes scanned the words rapidly, reading the list of requested goods, and it didn’t take long for him to put together what was happening.

He raised his eyebrows, unimpressed, “Where are the rest of your men?”

The man did not respond.

“I advise you to answer my question lest you find yourself without your head,” Dottore said dryly, placing the parchment back down and looking up at the man, who he could only assume was running the competing market.

“There are no men.” The response was clipped and cold, Dottore’s eyes trailed down to where jagged nails were digging into his palms—he was scared, trying to hide it. Good. “Only me.”

“Only you?” Dottore asked, amused. “Do you expect me to believe that?”

“I don’t care if you believe it,” the man retorted.

“If you care about your life, you’ll care about what I believe,” Dottore countered, watching the way the man stiffened at his words.

“Does it matter what you believe, or if I care about my life?” the man asked, voice quickly. “Or will I die anyway?”

Dottore smiled thinly, “I haven’t decided yet.”

The man looked frustrated. Dottore was unbothered, waiting for him to speak--the following silence was cold, tense. Dottore liked to believe he was a patient man but he was also a man who did not like his time being wasted.

One man causing such a ruckus amongst their partners… he considered the possibility of it actually being true. He didn’t think there was any chance of it, logically. The original organization has controlled Snezhnaya’s economy for centuries now--it was well embedded in society, the aristocrats depended on it, the civilians depended on it, the Fatui depended on it.

One man-

“The people aren’t as fond of the aristocrats as everybody thinks. They’re just the only option when the Fatui is the alternative,” the man finally said, “and it doesn’t matter what organization is running the market, when it comes down to it, the people keep the economy alive. The Triglav have been decreasing the quality of their products--watering down alcohol, reducing portions of produce in the markets--they thought the people would remain ignorant to it.”

Dottore mulled over his words, as far as he was aware, the Harbingers were also ignorant to the Triglav fiddling with the economy and goods. He wondered if the aristocrats were aware, working with them to shave some extra profits off the civilians. More irritated, he wondered if this was part of the reason why his funding was being affected.

“Except they realized,” Dottore mused, eyeing the man, trying to figure out how he became involved with it.

“Except I realized,” the man corrected sharply, giving Dottore another wary glance before he sat back at his desk. “I was the one that noticed what they were doing. I was raised on the streets of Novotroizov, just outside the capital, but I spent most of my time here-”

“I don’t care for your life story,” Dottore said. “Get to the point.”

The man smiled but it did not reach his eyes. “I had connections here in the city, it was not hard to siphon off unhappy contractors from the Triglav once they knew that they were being swindled by them and their families were suffering as a consequence.”

Dottore hummed to himself, “And where did you learn to read? Write? Understand economics?” he asked doubtfully, gaze drawing over the man as he dabbed the tip of his quill back into the dark ink.

The man hesitated, quill hovering over the parchment for a moment before he cleared his throat. “I worked at one of the higher-end red houses in the city, one that the aristocrats and the elites of the Triglav enjoyed to frequent. They run their mouths without care as to who might be listening. I learned much from them.”

Dottore almost smiled. Almost. The irony of the Triglav being the one to create their own competition was just a bit amusing to him. He rarely dealt with their elites personally but they were very quickly becoming a hindrance to his research and all hindrances must be dealt with.

Must be dealt with. Dottore looked at the man with a new light, an idea forming in the back of his head. The Ninth and Eleventh spots were now free, and so long as the Triglav controlled the economy, the Fatui’s money would at least partially be at the whims of the aristocrats that work with them and the organization's elites as the Fatui did not have their own bank…

“Well, as I see it, there are two options, I-” Dottore paused suddenly, a stinging feeling sharp across his cheek, as if he had been slapped, and a jolt of shock. Or, not him, his soulmate, he realized, gaze darting down to the thread on his thumb, because the man hadn’t moved from his desk, his knuckles white around the wood as he waited for the ultimatum. He forced himself to continue, voice tight, trying to mask the rising anger, “I can kill you, resolving this issue all at once, or we could try to find some use for you in our ranks.”

They were slapped, Dottore could feel echoes of the stinging sensation across his cheek, the shock that had run through his soulmate’s body, he could still feel the shock, now riddled with distress. Ten years old, he could barely constrain the rage pooling in his gut, he could barely control the way his mind brought him back to his own childhood with his parents and the unpleasant adults living in the village, who is slapping a ten year old? And with that much force?

He could barely focus on the situation at hand--luckily, the man was still sitting in front of him, he hadn’t moved or spoken, suspicious of the options he was given, but Dottore needed to calm himself before he did start speaking so he could respond properly.

But he couldn’t, and he felt so, so human because of it, vulnerable to emotions that were supposed to have been killed off a long time ago. He hated it. He hated it so much, his entire life--everything that he had built for himself felt as if it were crumbling. All of those years of teaching himself how to control each and every little emotion, all of those years learning how to seal away the unwelcome ones and channel them into something that was easier for him to process, they were wasted because the gods finally decided to curse him with this damned thread.

And then he felt it--an odd, foreign emotion curling in the depths of his stomach, something that was not of his own nor of his segments, something he hadn’t felt since the day he was chased out of his village.

Fear. Fear coming from his soulmate. Was it because of whatever was going on where they were? Or could they feel his anger and it was scaring them?

Dottore didn’t know, and he hated not knowing, but he hated even more the fact that he somehow cared enough that it made him calm down when he hadn’t been able to make himself calm down on his own.

“You don’t even know my name,” the man accused, but his tone was more hesitant, considering Dottore’s offer. Dottore forced his attention back to him, despite the way his thoughts lingered on the phantom pains against his cheek. “I don’t have a vision, I don’t-”

“Yes,” Dottore agreed. “I did not ask because I do not care to learn it--if your existence demonstrates itself to be useful to us, you will be given a new identity and a role to play in the coming war, you will have to leave your name, family and companions behind to take up the mantle… though I doubt that will be difficult for someone like you. Whether or not you have a vision is inconsequential--again, should you prove yourself, you’ll be given an even more potent version of one, one that does not have shackles of Celestia attached to it.”

There it was, Dottore thought to himself, letting out a huff of amusement once he caught the greed flash through the man’s expression. Hooked, the prospect of power would seduce even the most virtuous man, and he knew as soon as he stepped into this room that the man before him was no man of honor.

“How will I know if I’ve proven myself?” the man asked.

“You will know,” Dottore said dismissively, turning on his heel to leave before another unexpected bout of emotion or pain swept over him. “Do remember who got you to your position, if this works out. I will need considerable funding for my research… and don’t bother trying to run, we will find you.”

“If everything has been discussed, I’ve had quite enough of tonight’s theatrics,” Pierro’s voice was cold and sharp as he rose to his feet, preparing to dismiss the Harbingers from their meeting.

Dottore waited, eyes drawing across the eight other Harbingers, waiting to see if any of them would speak up. The Balladeer was livid, having spent the majority of the meeting arguing with the Marionette and the Knave, with the Knave’s pet following along making disparaging comments. None of the rest of the Harbingers appeared to intend on saying anything, so just as Pierro was about to dismiss them, Dottore cleared his throat.

At once, all sets of eyes turned in his direction, stares with varying degrees of annoyance trained directly on him. Dottore only smiled thinly, “I would like to discuss an option for the empty seats… or one of them, at least.”

“Perhaps you’ve become slow of mind in your old age,” Scaramouche said sharply. Dottore raised his eyebrows beneath his mask, not even bothering to call out the hypocrisy. “We discussed this for nearly an hour already and you didn’t bother to give input once.”

“I had no interest in interrupting squabbling children,” Dottore replied dryly, turning his gaze back to Pierro, who looked exhausted as he sat back down at the head of the table.

“Speak, Dottore. How faired the mission against the organization usurping the Triglav?”

“There was no organization,” Dottore said. “Only one man. I believe it to be prudent that we find a spot for him amongst our ranks. Perhaps not as a Harbinger… yet, but a chance to at least prove his worth.”

“One man?” Sandrone questioned, tone laced with disbelief.

“I find it hard to believe as well,” Pulcinella agreed, dark eyes piercing into Dottore. Dottore met his gaze, undeterred, annoyance tugged at his stomach--he hated being doubted.

“I can assure you, mayor, that I would not waste our time with dubious information,” Dottore drawled, fingers tapping against the wood of the table.

“I oversee the nation for our esteemed organization. I believe I would know-”

“Did you know that the Triglav were decreasing the quality of Snezhnayan and foreign products to make more of a profit off of the common folk?” Dottore interrupted, lips flat as his amusement dwindled. Pulcinella did not respond, and he took that as answer enough. “I see, so you do not know everything about the nation, do you, mayor?”

“Make your point, Dottore, this meeting has lasted too long already. I have other matters to attend to,” Pierro said. Dottore was glad his eyes were hidden beneath the mask.

“The man undermining the Triglav is an orphan, homeless, making by on nothing but connections he formed on the streets. Could you imagine what he would be capable of with resources to back him?” Dottore pressed. “We do not have the support of the people, we do not have an economy backing us, the aristocrats and the Triglav are in bed with one another, working together to sabotage us. It’s only a matter of time before this situation spirals into civil war, and Her Majesty is very much against that.”

“And you think one man will solve all of our issues?” Arlecchino asked, but she didn’t sound as doubtful as much as she did curious, watching Dottore carefully as she waited for him to respond.

He considered her words. It would be bold of him to claim that it would, as he had no reason to believe that this man would solve all of the internal issues that the Fatui were facing. He was promising, yes, but promise was just that--promise. Dottore had watched even the most promising minds in the Akademiya fall to ruin before they could make something great of themselves.

But if they didn’t think he was confident in this, it would be shut down. And any chance at increased funding for his research would be shut down along with it, which is what it boiled down to for him at its core. He needed more funding.

“I think he can solve a significant amount. The mayor clearly cannot handle internal affairs on his own. He doesn’t even know half of what’s going on right beneath his nose. The Triglav have been slighting the people of their goods and us of our money. Funding has been decreased-”

“Ah, of course,” Dottore’s eye twitched at the interruption, not even bothering to look at Scaramouche as he readied himself to respond to yet another snide comment from the Sixth. “That’s what it comes down to, your funding. How…”

Pain. Blinding pain shooting up through his hands and forearms, as if a million jagged rocks were digging into his palm and tearing through the flesh, as if he had taken a particularly bad fall and braced himself with his arms, drowning out the rest of the Balladeer’s comment. Were he a lesser man, he would have hissed at the sudden pain, maybe even flinched. Dottore was no lesser man, and he could not afford to give any sort of hint about the red thread tied around his thumb to the vultures perched around him who would take advantage of the weakness at any given moment.

Instead, he inhaled, forcing himself to continue, annoyance becoming more severe with each passing day as this was now the second time he was interrupted during an important meeting because of his soulmate.

“Yes,” Dottore said sharply. “Perhaps with better funding, we could make you into something greater than just a mere puppet. Your durability will only be of use for so long, and what will happen to you then? I can see the cracks already. You are not indestructible, Scaramouche.”

Scaramouche did not respond, and Dottore took the opportunity to continue.

“He is a commoner, an orphan, with enough connections throughout the people of Snezhnaya to displace the Triglav without any resources beyond his own mind and those connections,” Dottore continued. “You cannot convince me you do not see the potential this could bring us--nigh-complete autonomy from the Triglav and a wedge between the aristocrats and the people.”

“The consequences for if it fails…” Pulcinella trailed off. “We could be facing civil war far sooner than we’re ready for. The Triglav will not take kindly to us trying to unseat their monopoly… the aristocrats even less so.”

“We will win if it comes to war,” Arlecchino said. “What are they going to do, throw their gold coins at us?”

“No, they will throw our people at us,” Pulcinella responded coldly. “It’s not a matter of winning the war that’s the issue. Our military is dominant, in comparison to their forces. The issue is minimizing civilian casualties, which will not be possible without proper preparation. That could take years, decades. Her Majesty will not want us to antagonize while the people are at risk.”

“I will not go another year, much less decades, without proper funding,” Dottore said, poison dripping from his voice as he spoke. “We have been handed the opportunity to finally become the dominant power in Snezhnaya on a silver platter. We would be fools not to make the most of it. I am no fool, Pulcinella.”

“And if it fails?” The Captain spoke up for the first time, voice low. “Pulcinella is right, we cannot afford the backlash that this failure might bring us.”

“If it fails,” Dottore said tensely, “then I will kill him before it can be traced back to us.”

“Very well,” Pierro said after a moment of silence. “Bring him in, if he proves himself, we will consider replacing one of the two empty seats.”

Plink. Plink. Plink.

Dottore’s eye twitched, gaze drawing from the parchment in front of him to the countertops across the room, where the leaky faucet dripped to the metal of the basin incessantly. He inhaled sharply as he forced himself to look back at the report, trying to figure out what exactly Theta was trying to get at with the conclusions of his residue research.

Plink. Plink. Plink.

Dottore exhaled through his nose, lips pressed together thinly as his gaze drew back to the faucet. Even in his rare moments of peace, where his segments were busy or asleep, the universe somehow found a way to disrupt him.

Plink. Plink. Plink.

Dottore rose to his feet suddenly, the metal legs of the chair he was sitting on scraping against the ground loudly as he grabbed the report and left his lab, intent on finishing the reading back in his own room. It was getting late anyway, the moon was rising, and it was only a matter of time before his little soulmate made their way to bed and forced their own fatigue onto him.

He made his way down the dark halls quietly--as if on cue, he felt those familiar tugs, three, each with half a second between them. Goodnight, his soulmate was telling him, and he only shook his head, glancing down once before turning his gaze back ahead.

He would have to figure out how exactly he would integrate the boy from the city into the organization, and get him the resources he needed to actually be able to do something more than siphon off contractors of the Triglav. He didn’t know how though--it would have to be subtle so as to not draw the attention of their enemies until they were in the position to actually challenge them. If they found out that the Fatui were working under their noses to mess with the economy that the Triglav had built, they’d have a lot more issues to deal with than they’d like.

Unfortunately, Dottore was never good at subtlety.

If it were up to him, he’d simply remove the issue, just as he nullified extraneous variables whenever they rose to issue during his experiments. With the aristocrats and the Triglav out of the way, the Fatui could do as they pleased, Dottore could do as he pleased without all of the restrictions placed on him by the Jester… but alas, the Tsaritsa did not wish to draw the ire of her people any more than she already had, much to his displeasure.

Would one man be the change they needed to get the upper hand over the Triglav and the aristocrats? Dottore didn’t know and he despised not knowing, he hated uncertainty. He was a methodological man, a calculated one--he set plans in motion and saw them through to the end. He was able to map out all possible conclusions and plan accordingly, but he couldn’t for this, and he didn’t like it. Every time he thought of one possibility, another issue arose, and then another, and then another until the whole thing was spoiled and Dottore had to start from scratch.

It felt more like a gamble than a thought out plan. Dottore hated gambling.

Was this the best course of action? Was this going to help him in the long run? What were the chances it even succeeded?

Low, he determined. There was a good chance that even if the young man from the village was able to make something out of the resources he was given, he would still be forced to fall on his own blade if the situation took a turn for the worse with the other two parties. He didn’t particularly care for the fate of the man, but he had a feeling that if it got out that Dottore was the one behind the whole operation, his already depleted funding would turn to dust between his fingers.

Then you can’t let it get out, Dottore decided, stepping into his room--dark and cold with the candles and fireplace snuffed--which meant he would have to take out the man on his own before the Triglav and aristocrats could go about interrogating him… He would have to be ahead of the flow of information, and he had never been one to insert himself into webs of spiders and nests of snakes.

But, that’s assuming the worst case scenario, Dottore mused. Should all go well, the elites of the Triglav will be hung, and the aristocrats will finally be displaced from their position at the top. Dottore will have significantly increased funding, and they might very well finally have their Ninth or Eleventh seat filled again.

As he reached the desk at the far corner of his room, Dottore’s chest felt heavy in a way that he had never felt before. Dottore exhaled carefully, placing down the report and taking a seat as he tried to figure out what was causing the strange feeling. Not his segments, he was confident that he had been able to seal off their emotions from his, and it certainly wasn’t his own emotions making him feel this way.

And if that’s the case…

He sighed, gaze drawing down to his thumb, then it must be you.

As soon as he redirected his attention to where the thread was tied neatly around his finger, he felt the soft little tugs. Slow, uneven, he could practically see the pout spread across his soulmate’s unveiled face. It had been quite some time since the daily goodnight tugs, and from what he’d been able to tell over the past five years, his soulmate would always fall asleep soon after the goodnight.

What is the matter? he mused to himself, biting back another heavy sigh as he stared at the thread as if it would give him a verbal response. He realized, distantly, that he was wasting far too much time on this—he needed to finish figuring out first, what Theta had been trying to write and then, what it even meant—but he found his attention anchored on the thin thread, on the soft, slow tugs.

The sinking feeling in his chest was becoming even more intense, and it was sadness, yes, but there was something else. Not for the first time, Dottore damned himself for his inability to properly understand and process emotion.

It was cold, empty, but somehow oppressive and shadowy all at the same time. A part of him wondered if a child should even be feeling this way, but then he thought back to his own childhood—to the Kappa and Iota and Gamma segments—and something inside him twisted, dark and ugly as he considered what that might mean for his soulmate.

He didn’t like it. He didn’t like the rush of anger. He didn’t like the surge of protectiveness, the urge to shield someone he didn’t even know from the cruelty of the world as he did for his younger segments. He didn’t like that he couldn’t control it. He didn’t like that he couldn’t ignore it. He didn’t like it.

A stranger, the rational part of him hissed. They are a stranger, control yourself.

A stranger that is meant for you, a dangerous, dangerous part of him argued, voice smooth and alluring, a siren that could reel in even a sailor of the strongest willpower. Your fated.

Fated by the same gods who have cursed you a thousand times before, the harsher voice snapped back, grating in his mind, tearing through his head like grinding gears. This is another one of their cruel tricks, and you are playing right into their hands.

Dottore could feel his head aching and that void-like feeling was only getting worse. His chest felt like a gaping hole, like the heart of the abyss, and he felt like a puppet, whose strings were subject to the whims and emotions of a ten year old.

Why do you feel like this? Dottore wanted to demand, let me fix it so I can return to my work in peace.

But even as the thought crossed his mind, he couldn’t help but notice the way the tugs on the thread were becoming slower, less insistent… as if the person on the other side was giving up hope.

Is that what you want? he thought to himself, incredulity fogging his mind as he put together why his soulmate was feeling these emotions. His finger lifted on instinct, ready to test his hypothesis as he gave a small tug on the shared thread.

The change was instantaneous—sharp and sudden enough that Dottore felt whiplash as his heart leapt from his chest, mind doused in a sort of euphoria that he only ever felt when he made a breakthrough in his research.

Dottore shook his head, forcing himself not to roll his eyes when he realized that the wave of depression stemmed not from a situation happening in their life, but instead from a lack of attention.

He was annoyed at the disruption to his research, but with that ugly feeling gone—the coldness replaced by a very unfamiliar sense of warmth and a light, bubbly feeling in his chest, a childish sort of joy that he wasn’t sure he had ever experienced before—he could finally breathe again, the air felt fresh in his lungs and his mind felt clear. He was able to refocus on the report in front of him with an ease that he hadn’t had before.

Unfamiliar, he repeated to himself, red eyes drifting down to the thread one last time before he took advantage of the new concentration, but he wasn’t sure if it were entirely unwelcome.

reblogs appreciated!

#dottore x reader #dottore smut #genshin x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact smut #dottore x you #genshin x you #genshin impact x you

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psalmsofpsychosis · 2 months

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So if Bruce and Alfred's humanity is a disfigured shadow they'd like to have gone, what about the Joker??

Is his humanity a knife made of fish hooks with which he rips parts of people out, taking a little of their humanity with him? He uses it as a tool to hurt others and himself and acknowledges his humanity once in a while, while Bruce pretends to be unfeeling and cold, a monster in the dark that you should be afraid of.

Only the problem is that the Joker can see through Batman's facade and that the fish hook can't scratch a shadow or catch anything on stone. And even if he rips through Bruce's flesh, his shadow is a separate thing entirely, detached from his body, unchanging even if an arm goes missing.

Oh look, I wrote something again. What do you think? Is a fish hook an accurate metaphor or do you have something else in mind? Would love to hear your thoughts!!!

[in continuation of this ask]

❤️ so i'm lowkey in love with how you interpreted Joker's relationship with his own humanity and other people's, there's something so intricate and so right about the way you phrased it— maybe not the knife, but he absolutely works like a fish hook. I think that Joker isn't interested in anyone's humanity, his own or Batman's or anyone else's. To me though, he's in mad love with all things true and real and pure and sublime. He wants the untainted untouched heart of everything in a very idealistic sense, but not necessarily in a good sense. He doesn't want violence, he doesn't want evil, he doesn't want goodness; he wants the unbearable highest point of pure evil, he wants the most sublime expression of unflinching goodness. There's a reason why he works so-and-so in his dynamic with most villains, but comes alive when he's facing Batman. Batman as a persona is an ideal that does not bend to the reality surrounding Bruce, the "no killing" code doesn't adopt or respond to much anything that gets thrown Batman's way, it's almost pure good (except that it's not because Batman can only deny his humanity for so long and when it eventually bursts through the metaphorical door of his mind, both him and Joker hate it.)

So like, yeah, fish hook. I think Joker throws fish hooks into people's psyche and pulls out what he believes is their true, core nature, their essence. It's what he needs, he desperately wants to get to the very heart of existence, so he continuously claws people's core out of them, or what he thinks is their core. And he does it the most with Batman precisely because Batman provides a challenge. I dont think at any given time Batman truly knows what his core is, so he gets to define it. He defines his identity with his bare hands and that's both his biggest strength and his weakness. Strength because it gives him the power of choice, he's not necessarily what you'd call a good person, but he makes the conscious choice to do good and his choice defines him, but also it's a weakness because by choice he's leaving massive parts of himself out of the picture, and he never really... gets to exist as a human being, always present only in carefully curated bits and pieces. That leaves him vulnurable to attack because well, what you dont see and down own you cannot defend.

That also makes him the most fun handmade project for Joker to break, because as you said, Joker is /very/ good at seeing the holistic picture of Batman's identity, and Joker is objectively more oriented towards reality, the reality of their context and where they live. It's part of the reason his insanity is so compelling; it's intentional, not as in he's faking his insanity, but as in, he understands social structures and people's humanity so damn well and he flies off the handle in precise ways that respond to them that brings of of them exactly what he wants, he orients his insanity to different contexts and people very well. He's a paradigm breaker and a people breaker but you can only successfully break what you understand very well.

As for Joker's own humanity? i think he hates it and resents it and fears it because well, it's not sublime and true and pure, it's just human. Actually lot of Joker and Batman's dynamic is built around this sense of idealism and purity really, they both struggle so hard with just fucking being. Joker can't even be an average villain, he has to push it on every fucking front and be the most exceptional vile and grotesque face of evil, only then does he feel like himself.

Honestly if i had to make an allegory for Joker and Batman's relationship with each other's humanity, [tw mentions of suicide attempt] it'd be the story of two children, each one bringing the other a chair and a rope to dangle from the cieling, each taunting the other to hang themselves, not by the premise of dying, but by the premise that "you having your head near the cieling is the closest you'll be to g-d, and you'll be good and true", and they tell each other that the chair is their enemy, they dont need it.

#i'm sorry for the graphic metaphor #it's just that to me their dynamic has this almost childlike level of purity to it #it's the [grotesque] idealism but also the fact that they dont interact like fully grown adults with complex thought processes #and intricate emotional nuances to the way they navigate each other #they interact like 12 years old lovestruck kids high on the 2 boxes of oxys that they stole from mama's purse #i love them i want to study them under microscope #but i know i'll slurp them up right from the petri dish before i get behind the table #Batman #batman meta #dc joker #joker meta #batjokes #batjokes meta

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sumbreon · 9 months

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ive now watched dead reckoning absolutely loved it had a lot of fun watching it! this isnt really anything in particluar im just throwing my thoughts down while i still have them (this is going to get very disjointed i just know it)

ethan and another baby imf agent that hes already imprinted on, i feel like theres more to those two with ethan telling him he made the right choice, how involved was ethan in regards to him?? also it immediately killed me the mission brief telling ethan his rogue behaviour will not be tolerated like baby thats ethan, you KNOW hes going rogue! its not an if, its a when and at this point you should fucking trust the man going rogue!!! why dont these fuckers trust him?!?!?! also ethan deciding that the key and its purpose are actually very much his business he is going to find out! fuck you kittridge! and ethan not even for a second considering handing the key to anyone, hes destroying it, nobody gets to control this, because ethans side is the world, and if anyone gets it thats bad for so many more people than its good for. (i also loved the baby imf agent, whos name ive sadly already fuckin forgot, echoing this! but thats later) and kittridge going on saying ilsa was expendable oof i was delighted she was actually still alive shoutout to her and her sexy eyepatch

the airport oho! so sorry to benji but luther is absolutely the superior tech guy i cant lie. him then getting to demonstrate that by guiding both benji and ethan soso good. the airport was so good, the way theyre leading the imf around with the fakeouts and then the reveal that the entity was doing that to ethan too, penning him in, augh loved it (i feel like im going to say i loved a lot of things in this which is true i immediately want to go watch it again!) also them not fucking telling ethan about the bomb and just casually asking him a riddle and being like ‘dont worry its fine its under control’ tbf theyve disarmed nuclear bombs before but still!

‘he has to be somewhere’ yeah hes behind you up on the roof sprinting at ungodly speeds to get on a plane to italy somehow, i really like the amount of levity in these films it feels a very balanced amount not too much to take you out of it, just enough

and grace the airport and then italy ethan going after her, like me trying to befriend a cat, like cmon please trust me please like me i wanna help! but shes too slippery she keeps getting away but its also too late for her ethan cares about her now. also italy. paris oh fuck yeah i was enthralled by her constantly. im not gonna lie watching her delight in gratuitous destruction was incredibly fucking hot!!! she could destroy me anytime after im done writing this i will be going to look for pictures/gifs of her and i will be looking at them for an unreasonable amount of time. anyway… ethan holding the steering wheel looking like a lost puppy then! benji!! :D and luther! and ilsa! :D ethans got his friends! i did also like the casual intimacy that ethan and ilsa share the reassuring touches they fucking care about each other and i love that its not explicitly stated as ‘anything’ i just love casual intimacy a lot

the party and those fucking lights on the screens i was just waiting for it to be revealed that the entity was ‘there’ watching

it kills me thinking about ethans whole ‘nobody is expendable, only im expendable’ god i fucking love him and then gabriel and the whole one of these two people you care about dies because of you, because you care :( fucked up man… but i dont necessarily believe ilsa is dead what with the beginning trick and her like the imf being a ‘ghost’ how many times has the world been led to believe ilsa is dead? even with my doubts the scene on the rooftop with ethan being alone was still fucking mean :( and the entity using benjis voice to trick ethan too :( augh…

and luthers conversation with ethan about gabriel and killing him not being the mission paralleling with ghost protocol and carter!!! ahhh!!!! luther telling ethan he needs to play 5d chess with this fucking thing. grace still not fully grasping how completely out of her depth she is shes been in way over her head from the start and she does not get any time to process any of it, things just keep happening and then being told her lifes over, being given ‘the choice’ but is it really a choice?

the train, the fucking train, the plan of riding a motorcyle and landing on a moving goddamn train! what the fuck! oh benji… i absolutely did not fucking trust it when benji put the car on autopilot but i very much loved the continuity of the safey first seatbelt on gag also the continuation of benjis unwavering faith in ethans ability to pull off impossible things, guiding ethan up the trail to the top of the fucking mountain, he can figure it out from there its ethan hes got this (after watching these films and knowing tom cruise is doing the stunts i, this man could kill himself for the craft what the actual fuck man)

and back to baby imf agent and he GETS it he like ethan understands what the imf should be for, him saying the key would be too much power and when questioned as to whos side hes on, hes on the worlds, he gets it! and him defending ethan going rogue, ‘maybe he had a good reason’ yeah! maybe he fucking does!! im really looking forward to seeing him and ethan interact

zola my man… the way that he was absolutely clueless… i… (hang the fuck on i went to double check his name and according to the wiki he and alanna are maxs kids?? i knew they were at the thing for maxs death, alanna was hosting that? did i just completely miss the relation fact?)

oh god fucking gabriel and the train engineers and just leaving that man hanging i just :( didnt like that

and then gabriel and ethan on top of the train, ethan playing 5d chess and winning hell yeah, i was genuinely unsure what ethan was going to do in that moment being like ‘remember what luther told you ethan!’ it had to be real it had to be convincing for ethan to win that

and then fuck the individual carriages going over the edge aaaaaa my apologies to the people either side of me hearing me holding my breath then letting it out with relief repeatedly

ALSO THE VOICE OVER ABOUT THE CLOSER THEY ARE TO ETHAN THE LESS TIME THEY HAVE AND THAT BEING OVER ETHAN AND BENJI I DONT LIKE THAT

i had a very good time watching this

#sumb talks #mission impossible #mission impossible dead reckoning #dead reckoning spoilers #if i am incomprehensible so be it

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deadkins · 2 years

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Oh awesome!!! Then I kin Patryck Eddsworld, Quackity DSMP, Chara Undertale, Sparkling Cookie CR, Meowth Team Rocket, and Hollyleaf Warrior Cats :D feel free to not classpect any u dont know/don't want to!!!

Alright, so, luckily I know quite a few of these. I want to note going ahead that I don't believe in gendered classes so everything goes.

I'm going to not do Patryck but only because I know very little of the character and his fandom wiki isn't much help in getting to know him. I've run into the same problem with Sparkling Cookie. Howeverrrrr-!

Quackity: Major major major Prince, Bard or Thief vibes, ngl. Quackity is, from what I recall, kind of a selfish anti-hero at times. He's chaotic but smart, someone who gets shit done. He's loyal to those who are loyal to him but he's also manipulative and conniving. These things make me lean towards a Thief rather than a destructive class, specifically a Thief of Time.

Time players often struggle with self esteem and put forth images to make themselves seem stronger which feels very in character to me.

Chara: Haven't thought about Undertale in a hot minute! From what I recall of Chara, I may be inclined to also lean on them being a Thief or a Rogue, even. Chara is kind of a misunderstood character (please forgive me if my understanding of them is outdated, I last played Undertale in 2018), someone who was the product of bad circumstance, who wasn't necessarily evil but did things that could be construed as such. It's because of this that I might sayyy... Thief of Heart.

There's a lot of interpretation for what a Thief of Heart would present as but personally I'd see it as someone who struggles to express empathy (which, as I recall, was something in Chara's characterization) and may do things to try to gain it.

Meowth: Another media I've been out of for awhile but know just enough about to have some thoughts on.

Meowth is conniving, ambitious and adaptable. He's also enthusiastic and intelligent, he's (at times) the brains of his team. Meowth is someone who I might actually see as a Page, funnily. Pages tend to be unsure of themselves but adaptable, and as for aspect... Page of Heart.

A Page of Heart would be someone without a good understanding of Heart but as someone who could weaponize it if necessary. Heart also seems thematically fitting for Meowth, given his friendship with Team Rocket.

Hollyleaf: Hollyleaf, my beloved. I'm also a Warriors kin, it's anyone's guess as to who.

Hollyleaf is a character who's known for a sense of morality, who holds true to her values and stands up for what she believes in. However, she's also impulsive, arrogant (at times) and a bit of a know-it-all (it helps that she's smart BUT).

Hollyleaf comparatively is a character I might lean towards being an Heir, Seer, Mage or even a Maid so it's going to be hard narrowing it down. I'm leaning heavily towards... Heir of Time.

An Heir of Time would be a strong player, someone who understands time and change quite intimately but also someone who struggles with acting emotionally and irrationally at times.

Alright so.

What we learned here is that your kins mostly make me think of Heart and Time players lmaoo. Feel free to disregard all of this if none of it hits but I had a lot of fun doing it!

#anomymous #classpect

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diavolosthots · 3 years

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Do you do yandere? If so, and if it's alright, can you do a fic with Belphie being yandere or at least bring possessive with a female MC? Thank you much, and love you 😘

I do so yandere although here's my official disclaimer since i dont believe this is my strong suit 😅 love you too, I also kept this GN since it wouldn't really change with a male/non-binary MC and no sex is involved.

Warning: yandere, kidnapping, mild non-con (NOT NSFW, just kissing), unwanted touching, choking

Can't You See? (YANDERE!BELPHEGOR X GN!READER)

It made him laugh. You… made him laugh. How gullible you were, how easily manipulated and bent to his will, seen perfectly in how willingly you helped him get out of that attic. He won’t lie, that’s probably the moment he realized you were the one. The moment he realized you’d be the easiest target, much easier than Solomon or even Luke. In all honesty, he couldn’t help but laugh at it and if you were in his shoes, you would be laughing too. The only thing that made your cluelessness even better was the sheer fear in your eyes when he choked you that night, edging you closer to death without really meaning to; that’s what brought him true thrill. That’s what’s been getting him off and keeping him going these past few weeks. The thought of seeing that face again as you beg him not to, your body struggling in his grasp… it was far beyond the simple need to get rid of a human. It turned into a need to have you, to use you, and to scare you. He didn’t necessarily love you for you; he just loved you for the excitement you brought to him.

It was almost too easy too. You never expected it from him. He slept, mostly, and if he didn’t sleep, he was just too lazy to do anything, so it was quite simple to hide things from you. His longing glances, you brushed them off as him simply zoning out. The days he ‘fell asleep’ on your shoulder were also just explained by his Avatar, not by his very real need to feel close to you. Even his anger directed at Mammon or Levi, or basically any other brother, was easily explained by annoyance. So where did he mess up? Beelzebub. He messed up with his twin. He snapped at the glutton when he got a little too close to you, a moment he instantly regretted in fear of blowing his cover.

Things just weren’t the same since then, and you actually turned toward Beelzebub more, which only angered the youngest. You were his; his toy. Granted, you may not know it yet, but that’s exactly why you needed him, too, so he could show you. “(Y/N). Come with me.” Something inside of you told you against it, and you hesitated, something Belphegor quickly picked up on. “Don’t worry, I won’t bite.” “You killed me before.” it was meant as a joke; you even laughed right after, about to just follow him anyway, but he stopped, turning back around to face you. “Are you still holding that against me?” You started to shake your head, about to speak, but he interrupted once more, “I’m not like that anymore.” Lies. “I simply wanted to show you something.” Lies. He was getting angrier, agitated,... you could tell.

“Belphie, I-!” Before you could even finish your sentence, he had grabbed you, dragging you out the House of Lamentation and down the busy Devildom streets. You struggled in his grasps, yanking at the article of clothing he had such a tight grip on, to no avail. He dragged you down several streets and alleyways, never once speaking to you until he stopped at an old abandoned shack that you weren’t quite sure anyone has used in centuries. You were thrown, quite literally, inside, onto a dusty old bed as he shut the door. For a moment, everything was pitch black and fear kicked in as your eyes tried to adjust, albeit too late so. He was sitting beside you now, quick to pull you into his lap and hold you, as if he was trying to protect you from the bad, not realizing the bad was him.

“Belphie let me go!” “Now why would you say that? I’m simply holding you.” You shook your head, unsure of if he could even see it as you continued to struggle against his iron grip. “You’re hurting me! Why did you drag me here?” A hand, almost too soft given the circumstances, caressed over your face and you quickly turned your head, causing him to grab it firmly so he could look at you, “to have you for myself. You’re always hanging out those pesky brothers of mine… I never get to have fun with you anymore.” Something about the way he said that made you uneasy; it made a shiver run down your spine as you continued to push against him, screaming out.

That, to him, was the best part. He laughed at you, letting his head fall back, “yes, scream. See if anyone down here would save you.” Suddenly, you were pushed back against the mattress, the dust flying up and hitting your nostrils, causing you to cough, “choking? Let me help you.” but all he did was wrap his hand around your throat like he did once before. Fear shot through you as your own hands wrapped around his arm, trying to pull him off, “don’t be like that… can’t you see I’m doing this for us?” His head dipped down and you barely registered it before his lips landed on yours. You squeezed yours together tightly as he tried to nibble on them, your body still squirming beneath his, “no… no this is just you. I don’t see you as that.”

His grip on your throat tightened as he leaned back, lifting you up by your neck and making you choke. A chuckle escaped him, “No? You’re clinging to me, holding my arm so tightly…” You wanted to protest; obviously you only did that to get him off, but he was currently cutting your air supply short. Before you knew it, your head hit the mattress again and he leaned back over you, breathing out against your lips, “Don’t lie to yourself, (Y/N). Don’t hide it any longer… “ You were confused, tears slowly forming at the corner of your eyes as thoughts raced through your mind of what he could mean; what he could do.

His breath tickled your ear with his next words, followed by a dark chuckle, “I’m yours… just as much as you are mine. Only mine.” You wanted to scream again, but he was quick to cover your mouth with the hand that was previously around your throat, barely giving you enough time to take in a much needed breath, the tears finally falling, as your mind prayed to whatever was out there, that he wouldn’t go too far.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #belphegor x mc #belphegor x reader #belphegor obey me #belphegor avatar of sloth #obey me belphie #shall we date belphegor #obey me yandere #obey me yandere belphegor #yandere!belphegor #yandere #kidnapping #tw noncon

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melancholicillusions · 3 years

Text

"Ohh~! So Zuri, you and Vernon have been dating for awhile. What's it like?" Coni chuckled. Bumping her with his arm. Vernon let out an awkward grunt, he didn't mind your relationship going public but he also didn't want every bit out it out there. To be frank you guys were going to go public after your 3year mark, guess not.

Zuri looked around nervously glancing at vernon almost as if she was asking for permission. Before she could speak up for herself Doni commented.

"I was shocked when Dk accidentally revealed your relationship. I never thought I'd see an idol date interracially-"

"And to a black person at that." Coni interrupted.

They chuckled clearly not caring whether or not your feelings were hurt, though Doni jokingly scolded Coni. It was more of a 'don't say that haha' type scold. Everyone else on the other hand either wasn't impressed or let out an awkward laugh quickly looking around the room at Vernon.

"She's mixed though.." Joshua defended you only to be shot down by Doni.

"We were joking, no harm intended!" He chuckled.

They continued to poke fun at Vernon and Zuri. Occasionally flirting with Zuri which wasn't necessarily a problem till Doni started getting touchy. Vernon and the rest of SEVENTEEN stood up for her obviously.

"Zuri, can you twerk?" Coni asked Zuri put her head down whispering "no." Before backing into Seungkwan and making her way to Vernon.

"Hey could you guys cool it.. Please?" S.coups asked

"Yes this is really invasive and rude..." Wonwoo added.

But again they were brushed off by the two host. But their 'joke' about Zuri being sexually active with Dk was cut short when she ran off set with tears in her eyes, Vernon, Mingyu, and Hoshi running after her. While they cut the cameras and the rest of SEVENTEEN scolded Doni and Coni for many reasons.

_________________________

After about ten minutes of the duo not so low key poking fun at Vernon and my relationship and even suggesting that i was cheating on him with DK. I hadn't realized my vision was blurred, though once I did notice it was too late they were running down my face and i found myself running off set.

Mingyu was the first by my side comforting me but because of what was said. I didnt need anyone else being brought into this. I pushed him away from me, afraid that Vernon would have believed them. Not too long after Vernon ran in and everyone else did. Mingyu slid away from me muttering something to Seungcheol, Meanwhile Jeonghan, Dk, and Vernon where by myside.

"Sweetheart, we know you'd never cheat on Vernon." Jeonghan sighed rubbing her back.

"Ya, besides shes in the same group as him." Hoshi said a chuckle leaving his lips. Though he quickly backtracked apologizing after he realized it only made her cry more.

"Really Hoshi?! Wait outside please." Minghao harshly wispered.

"Vernon.. You know we're just friends right.. She's like a sister to me, nothing more. Right?" Seokmin whispered.

"Can Zuri and I have sometime by ourself?" Vernon sighed, waving his members off.

"Ah.. Ya.. Woozi and I will let them know that we wil be leaving earlier than expected.." Chan grabbed his elders hand leading him out of the room with the rest of the members following behind, closing the door behind them.

Zuri didn't even give Vernon a chance to open his mouth. "Its not true.." Zuri muttered standing up walking away from the couch, her back facing her elder.

"What?"

"It's not true! What they said.. Vernon, Seokmin and I are just friends." She spoke quickly looking down at the male.

He stood from the couch walking over to the smaller female putting his arms around her waist. A small smile played on his face. "I know you and Dk are nothing more than friends- platonic friends."

Kissing her hand he guided her outside meeting the rest of members by the door.

"Here you go.." Hoshi smiled handing Zuri a gray face mask.

"Thanks Hosh-"

Zuri was disrupted by doni and coni walking down the hall, of course she knew her fellow band mates were protective but she would have never guessed they'd form a 'kill circle' around her... Well there was that one time when Dino caught someone trying to take panty shots and that didn't end well, for the culprit at least.

"We just wanted to apologize for earl-" Coni

"Don't." Jun said sternly pushing zuri further behind him.

"Our cars here, lets go.." Wonwoo said grabbing Zuri's sleeve in a protective manner.

"But-" Coni started.

"There's nothing more to be said." Vernon growled following behind Zuri and Wonwoo.

_____________________________

Around two weeks later someone leaked footage of what happened, Coni and Doni obviously got backlash.. But so did seventeen, more specifically Vernon and Zuri.

"How could you Vernon oppa!"

"Who cares? Its young love😳😍"

"Of course a halfy with another halfy, why am i not shocked."

"Fellow carats calm down it hasn't even been confirmed yet! Besides who cares if they're dating!?"

"Really a black korean girl? Vernon if you were gonna choose why not a Korean/white girl? 🙄"

"Shit.. I mean you guys have been in scandals but none as big as this... Sorry guys. This is my fault.." Zuri sighed flipping her phone over.

Dk shut her up "No. No, dont blame this on yourself. If I'd just kept my big mouth shut..."

"Its whatever." Vernon muttered slight irritation and sadness in his voice. "Zuri, lets go."

She looked up and around at her male friends her eyes unsure of what to expect. Minghao sat next to her.

"You might wanna go, he seems upset." Jun whispered.

"Geez, its almost as if we couldn't tell." Woozi rolled his eyes.

"Shut up." Jun chuckles putting the shorter male in a head lock.

Let the horse play begin.

"Wish me luck.." Zuri wispered.

______________________________

"Well?" He sighed looking at the computer.

"Well..?" Zuri sighed hesitantly walking over to him.

"What are you doing on Vlive Vernon?"

"We need to address something, something that Zuri and I've realized has gone viral over the past few weeks." He said.

Vernon was live and explaining the situation to over 100,000 people. Zuri couldn't help but stick around to see this out, she sat next to him playing with her hands and looking down. Falling into her own world of worries.

"Zuri. Zuri? Zuri?!" He shook her sholder.

"Ah, Huh? Oh..yes, Vernon."

"Are you ready? Or do you wanna wait?"

"For?" She turned her head to the side curious as to what he meant.

"To go public.. The fans are curious.. And we were gonna do it anyways."

"Oh sure."

"The answer is yes..." Zuri stated nervously.

"We are dating.." Vernon smiled.

Of course there were mixed reactions but for the most part they were positive.

"I love you Zuri.."

Smiling Zuri pulled him into a hug as he ended the live. "I love you too Vernon."

#svt imagines #svt dk #svt vernon #seventeen ambw #seventeen kpop #seventeen #s.coups #ambw scenarios #seungkwan #svt dino #ambw imagines #ambw fic #svt scenarios #svt hoshi #svt jun #svt

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dyketubbo · 3 years

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my ask didnt send i am going to murder. anyway BEEP CLASSPECTING... now im thinking abt that and aimsey. from the top of my head/only briefly thinking, beep as rage or void vibes with me? (obvs not the typical rage player you see, more like the nuance we were discussing). and aimsey as a life player?

oooo void beep would be suuper cool :oc rage too, he is very fucking stubborn and does have outbursts rather often (also rage players in canon usually have connections to magic, and then the homestuck rage players all had religious themes so, god stuff). meanwhile void fits beeps heavy "this is all irrelevant and you could never understand any of this", and his own belief that even what he does just doesnt matter. personality under a veil (not necessarily a facade), fundamental inability to understand and truly perceive it all.

id say he doesnt fit rage enough, if only because rage players are fundamentally about survival instinct, and, well. beeps already dead, and he seems to be perfectly fine with the fact that one day he just wont exist at all. hes not scared, though he is easily pissed off, but in the end he just sort of likes messing with shit and being in control. lil dickhead (affectionate)

honestly, since he almost fits rage but not quite, he.. almost acts like a prince of hope (unfortunate eridan kinnie). destroying beliefs and asserting his reality as the Absolute Truth, dragging others like aimsey into his delusions and being in a situation where aimseys putting her faith into him even though hes not a good person because she feels the need to believe in him and connect with him, because she genuinely feels like hes the only friend they have left, and because aimsey wants desperately to believe in what beep is trying to show her, desperately wants to understand. he shuts down things he believes to be false, to the point where he can make them false by simply destroying the problem.

hes a force of outward destruction, destroying what he believes to be flaws in others. theyre heavily defensive, putting everyone beneath them, believing hes the one thats doing it Right, and ultimately, he believes its his right to control things. he doesnt trust anyone, he reacts to any fear he may have with anger, lashes out, and the "TELL. NO ONE" scene almost showcases beep shattering and hurting aimsey before he steps back and give a quick "sorry!". his arc seems to be leading up to him realizing he can care about aimsey, that he can trust her to believe him and in him, and he seems to be dealing with the concept of trusting aimsey with his beliefs

hes definitely not a general hope player, but specifically prince of hope could fit. onto possible void class combos, with, first, the notable fact that we dont know what kind of person beep may have been in the past, other than that he was destructive. we know about some events in his past, and how he feels about them (kinda), but generally, this means hes very versatile and has many class possibilities, depending on how we want to interpret what we do know.

for example, he could be a maid whose now in the apeshit stage, stubborn and repressive. its entirely possible he got so tired of listening to the other spirits that he got to the unhealthy stage, exploded, and now without anything stopping him, hes doing whatever the fuck he wants, because hes decided none of it matters, that its all irrelevant and he doesnt have to care because its his fucking universe and no one can stop him from playing god. he spends his time doing menial things, because to him, its all equally unimportant, so why not waste time? he cuts down unnecessary tasks, weeds out what he finds useless, etc etc. basically, he should still be independent, but he needs to be brought back down to earth (metaphorically), because hes kind of burnt himself out and is now fucking with things because he feels none of it matters anyways

sylph of void sort of works too, mainly his meddling and tendency to shut down anything that could reveal something he doesnt want revealed, as well as shutting down others viewpoints and he covers up shit whenever he wants. his motivations are, really, mostly unknown to us, other than that he seems to think this is fun. otherwise, he also has a tendency to try and fix things he thinks needs fixing (like getting rid of fairies and space creatures), and will often try to fix mistakes he sees in mortals. however, slyphs are ultimately healers, and beep just. is not a healer, and he doesnt necessarily invite creation of void in any way, since void isnt really destruction of anything, and what he does invite is destruction of things. hes also just too active to be a slyph

so, with the previous prince assession, theres also the possibility of him being a prince of light, which would mean he would act more like a void player. hed destroy light with light, destroy the importance of information with information. they strip away the importance of things, uses plain fact to force the perception that nothings really important. he dismisses the importance of things, purposefully acts ignorant to draw away from what he knows, destroys knowledge itself from a power standpoint (wiping aimseys memory), and in extreme cases, can physically destroy anything in his way, or assert over and over that what he said/did isnt real, that nothings true or important other than what hes saying. again, little shit. if i had to make up my mind, i think prince of light fits the most

as for aimsey, i think life does fit him really well, shes definitely got the similar "girl next door" kind of vibes, while still being really interesting in her own right. she definitely starts out as a typical fictional life player, enthusiastic, energetic, genuine, wanting to effect the world. shes a normal girl (and this isnt an insult, rather, her being so normal ties the magical themes of the bear smp together really well, and its a perfect way to use a life player, make them be a catalyst for both the normal life player and eccentric others to shine). however, as she struggles with losing trust in bear and not being treated well, not having anyone that cares about them specifically, the energy starts to falter, but comes back when they feel the need to be rebellious. notably, while aspects arent super literal, she contrasts beep so much in just how alive she is, which fits her being a life player rather well. except, as i said, aspects arent literal, which means aimsey being a life player translates to her showing what life means in a metaphorical sense.

life is about agency. its about what you do, your ability to do so, its about asserting your will. not what drives you, but simply you doing at all. interesting enough, life players can be hard to pin down because life is about desire and agency, while the players class defines their ideology. life players can become obsessed with an idea that they need to do something, that they need to change how systems work, and often can cloak their want to fulfill their individual desires as altruistic want to fulfill others needs and desires (i.e., aimsey wants a friend and someone who pays attention to her and is genuine towards her, she feels like shes found that in beep, and as such starts to cloak her want to be his friend as aimsey wanting to help beep rather than aimsey themself).

as for said class.. this was, hard. because of how heavily influenced life is by the class its paired with, and because aimseys arc right now is trying to deal with feeling like shes too much and unneeded, it means that i have to really consider how that connects with which classes struggles. so, i ended up with sylph. aimsey is a creator, and she tries to heal as well. "allowing creation/healing of life or inviting creation/healing through life". from a literal standpoint, she tries to help bear heal by trying to get him to open up, to live, to make friends and interact with people. this could almost seem like a blood player move, but while a lot of aimseys arc is about bonds and relationships, shes not really a strong connecter or leader, shes just good at inspiring others to be, to her own detriment.

also notably, unhealthy sylphs crave, whether craving more of their own aspect, or craving another aspect when they feel theirs is not enough. aimsey talks a lot about how she grew up doing things by her lonesome, and now that she feels like people are moving on without her, she may be craving blood (that sounds so awful out of context). she wants attachments, wants to be the person that brings everyone together, but.. she isnt, not in a way thats appreciated. and due to her insecurities, she sees this as a flaw within himself, and as something to fix. so, she latches onto beep, and desperately tries to have as much of an effect on their life as they do on hers. like life players in general, sylphs try to solve their problems under the guise of helping someone else with theirs. currently, aimsey seems to be trying to find what she needs to do, because when she tried to do what she thought she needed to do, she (from her perspective) failed, so now shes trying to make up for her perceived failure within herself by trying to help herself through helping beep. i would think into it even more but i think its probably best to just leave it here KEKW

#angel answers #long post #im afraid to count the paragraphs on this one tbh #i dont think its That Much but it felt like it #beep bsmp #aimsey #bear smp #bsmp classpecting #hs

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tomatograter · 4 years

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do you have advice for someone who’s writing a heavily illustrated fic / pseudo-fanventure ig and has written and drawn before but not necessarily combined the two? just like in terms of a few big things it’s worth knowing or keeping in mind

Im going to start answering this as though it is a question about comics in general, then more into the specifics of the format.

Step 1: Accept that, like everything with sequential art, you'll most likely be operating at a good 60% of your drawing ability for most of the panels. This is okay. I am of the belief that this should be encouraged, and great comic artists will tell anyone who wants to hear it that not every panel is going to be the greatest panel you've ever drawn - it just has to advance the story you're telling. In a traditional format, what we usually say is "pick one panel thats meant to look good at a time where that enriches the story(or the world), and focus on making the art be useful in all the rest." Simplify!

An excess of prettitudes can sometimes work against you. It may not match the mood, the setting, the atmosphere, your work speed, your wrist health, your feasible output etc. Play with what DOES!

In the style usually associated with homestuck, this means... sprites, single shots, style changes, panels with no background at all, reusing assets, and more. I like how "Inconsistency" is the only true rule on homestuck's visual side. Put the little perfectionist critic in the back of your head to sleep and get through the not-so-gorgeous parts. You'll eventually improve and find a comfortable pace.

All the other steps: You don't actually need to mimic HS style if you don't wanna. Not even the designs. Put your spin on it. Same goes for the narrative. HS is famously verbose and text-heavy, and where it succeeds is mixing the visuals in a way they accompany the text without drowning it out. Some things you only have to see to understand, other things you only have to read about to get, and there's rarely a repetition, because in the final context's perspective both count as equal pieces of the main text.

Figure out what can be conveyed in visuals and what can be conveyed through words, and what subtleties arise when you mix the two. Dont underestimate your audience for the sake of explaining EVERYTHING that is going on at all times inside and outside a characters head as well as around the world. If someone makes a sad face we know they're sad. If we've seen why they're sad, we don't have to say it again, but if it can perhaps be enhanced by providing a further context and depth through words- then perhaps you should do that. ("Vriska steps on 8 balls. She does this often since there's lots of cracked ones around the house. We can see this. We know she associates this with addiction and a strike of bad luck because she says so, however")

If you don't want to write a novel, but want to write pesterlogs, you don't need to write a novel! Make the narration short and sweet to the point it is simply useful and let the panels and conversations do the rest. Similarly, you dont want to write big meandering and long-winded convos? You can switch up the style and make it a little bit more prose-based with visuals to enhance it. Don't want to draw a lot? Invest in the prose+dialog and let your illustrations come in at key moments instead of driving the whole car. As long as you balance out the three things to make up for where you believe you're lacking the most prowess, it'll be fine. Experiment.

Most of homestuck is a result of improvisation, so while i cant say "you NEED to know where your story is going/how it will end before starting it" having a vague idea of how big you want it to be, where it might finish, and a realistic estimation of how much work it will take to get there is great for when your creativity and drive is running low. Having main story beats written down and a general concept for what the chapter, the arc, or the whole is meant to convey is very helpful in the case you get... stuck. You dont need to make it a 100 chapter epic if an oneshot or 3-parter suffices. Have fun. Put some things that are meant to be jokes and gifts to yourself. You also dont NEED to include the entire extended cast and a gaggle of extras if you don't want to. Ive seen a number of fanventures pop up and then be promptly abandoned because they got too expansive too quickly, and the author lost interest in the broad scope of it. Focus on what you want to write and draw about. If you can do that well, someone's guaranteed to like it, and that's better than trying to please everybody.

Also, while it might look effortless, doing this kind of narrative takes time. Even if you cut corners! It doesn't look finished until you put it all together, and sometimes you'll still be editing right before you publish so the text goes better with the pictures or the pictures go better with the words. "Being frustrated with the process" is unfortunately a reality for comics. This is why I'm always annoying about the 'put in things you think are fun' bit. Learning patience goes a long way.

Also, self-advertise. Shamelessly.

#homestuck

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frillshark-fr · 3 years

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How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question

i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort.

so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful

1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire! but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened

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2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr! Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.

2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come

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3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void.

3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.

the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?

3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think

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4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything! people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!!

4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”

- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.

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okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class

edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:

i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine

#if anyone is interested i can make a post about my process for finding new dragon pairs?#i’d just include it here but this post is long enough as it is oo;;#Anonymous

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summoner-kentauris · 3 years

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What does your interpretation of Zacharias think about Líf and Thrasir? (You can either just answer or write a lil story if you feel like it)

OOOO now i have thought in my free time a fair amount about what líf thinks of zasha but, and i cannot believe this, i have not thought about what zacharias thinks about líf and thrasir. full disclosure, book III happened to be going on when i formally stopped playing feh. i kept up with the story after that but, theres my obligatory knowledge base disclaimer.

also minor cws through this whole thing because i talk here and there about zacharias and his... mm, canonical relationship to death/selfharm

so, i spent a lot of time thinking about this one, and i keep coming back to my gut reaction, which is that i don't think zacharias would like them very much. i dont know why i think that, though.

PART ONE

i think a lot of it would depend on how they approach him, which is maybe why i've spent more time thinking about the reverse of this ask, come to think of it. see, i think zacharias could go any which way in terms of what he thinks of them. i think he could hate them, as two people who killed versions of everyone he ever loved, including metaphorically killing off the two people closest to him.

i think he could love him, having seen the hell (ha ha literally) that they went through. understanding what that feels like. given the way he talks about his suicide attempts, and honestly that he spent most of book I trying to get people to kill him, really his whole relationship to death. i mean the man talks a lot about death and killing. he might not be the feh OC who best understands how manipulative and... whats a good word. alluring? what im trying to say is that besides eir, he might be the one most likely to understand why Hel and hel's offer appealed to líf and thrasir. i feel like this bit has a place here: "With his dying breath...he begged for his life. He called out your names! "I'll do anything you ask! Just let me live!" excepting of course that i still am not sure if i think he said/thought that or not. ive never been sure who really is in control of speaking right then and there. Anyway. Probably he could come to understand Líf and Thrasir's stance, enough that he could care about them the same ways he cares about his versions of Alfonse ann Veronica

on the other hand, i can see him being fully horrified by the choices those two made in response. this bit: Not anyone... This dark god...seeks death. And it cries for the destruction of Askr. Like. Líf and Thrasir are intentionally enacting the same thing as the dark god's desires, in order to correct a mistake they made that, uh, also enacted the same thing as dark god's desires. talk about awkward. and i think Zasha, who has lived with this nightmare in his head for so long, might recoil from people who are so directly aligned with it. who wants to be around someone who has become, who has chosen to become, everything you ever feared you'd be? especially when you're nearly drowning from the effort of fighting to stop yourself.

i could also see him meeting them and it being incredibly, incredibly bad for him. i feel like, he puts a whole lot of... mm. what am i trying to say.here:

Yet it is you that says this, dear friend, and so I must consider it. I see the faith reflected in your eyes. Perhaps it is possible...

SPEAKING OF BUNNY ZACHARIAS I ALSO THINK YOU COULD TAKE THE FOLLOWING:

You never change. All you see is a lofty goal, even if you lack the means to achieve it... The idea that gods would fall by the hand of man is a fantasy... and a preposterous one. This is a goal that even our ancestors Líf and Thrasir could not achieve.

setting aside the obligatory wtf zash i know you know your lore (fuck, maybe there is no killing the gods, maybe all Fire Emblem victories are temporary at best and Zenith is the only one who knows it. but i think, probably not), i think you could spin a very believable scenario where zacharias takes one look at these two ambitious, arrogant posers and absolutely refuses to speak to them any further.

so, part one, i think that zacharias could think any number of things about líf and thrasir. which i suppose means that i think he's fairly neutral on the subject of líf and thrasir. makes sense to me, i suppose. i feel like zacharias | bruno has practice (regardless of whether he's any good at it or not, or whether its any good for him) at holding and maintaining separate personas, so I don't think the fact that líf and thrasir were alfonse and veronica would necessarily be all that important to him.

which brings me to part ii

what happened to dead zenith zacharias

if zacharias is neutral on the subject, I think a lot of their relationship is going to pushed in one direction or another by líf and thrasir themselves.

and, complicating matters (when do I make things simple?), i think their approach to zacharias would of course depend on what happened to their zacharias. correct me if im wrong, but i dont think we have even a hint what happened to him.

there are three ish options I'm seeing. one: as dead world zenith is further along in its timeline and as zacharias claims he's almost out of time with his curse, other zacharias died due to that before the war with hel. i feel like scenario one is the most likely to lead to a good relationship between main zacharias and líf and thrasir.

two: mr. professional "knows plot relevant things out of knowhere" was the one who found out about angrboða's heart in the first place. especially given "As destruction took hold, we joined with Embla to seek the forbidden heart...", which to me sounds a lot like, "hel was kicking our ass then zacharias showed up and said we should go get this mystical plot object from embla". thrasir even says she and líf weren't allies before the world went to shit. anyway. hear me out here:

Yes. The heart is sealed within an Emblian blood temple. If that seal is broken, someone will die each time the heart beats... Those who perform the rite are the first to die.

Now. Líf claims he was the one who broke it open, but he also was present for the war that followed and only after was he killed and inducted into hel's army. so. both of those things can't be true. i propose that the magic mcguffin located in a sealed emblian blood temple was unlocked by our dear zacharias and thats what killed him in other zenith. i think its possible that other veronica was the one who did it, but you know. its all imagination at this point. also, and i forgot this, but thrasir does go off about how she can't lose until she saves her brother, so. something especially tragic happened at least. and oh boy is scenario two a nice fresh tasty tragedy. so that's scenario two. other zacharias directly died as a result of attempts to fight hel

number three thing that could have happened to zach is boring. he's always off doing things, he could have just died off screen. i mean. everyone did, eventually.

frankly he could still be alive for all i know. the heart appears to take the lives of people in the world, not of the world, or else the summoner would have been fine. so, if zacharias was on one of his off world jaunts, he could conceivably be a-okay. well. as okay as someone who's whole world died. i don't think that's what happened, because thrasir is pretty clear about feeling that she failed him, but yknow.

líf and thrasir's reactions to the above

thrasir is i think the most straightforward. i can't really see her approaching main zacharias with anything but positive intent. even if she's only a little bit open, i think thrasir and zacharias will probably have a decently tolerable relationship. if zacharias can come back to a country that exiled him as a kid and let his mother die in a dungeon and then go on to not just befriend but protect and care for a half sister he didnt know before then, then i think he'll find a way to care about thrasir. you know, intsys could have had fun making another perpetual older brother character. as i understand it, xander gets brother'd a lot, he and zach could have talked. could have been fun. a whole, zacharias, a historically traumatized child: *arrives in a world* every currently traumatized kid in a five mile radius: oh shit this one's ours now. you know what im saying? found family except zacharias would very much like it to stop finding him. he's got important brooding to do. but anway, they didn't go that route and its a tragedy.

líf is... more complicated. i think scenario one creates the most positive outlook. i can see him still having guilt over zacharias' loss, but i think any of it would be overshadowed by everything else that happened. in this scenario, líf finally gets back a piece of the world he'd lost. yeah, it's not his zacharias, but still. it is a zacharias, who is living and breathing and frowning and asking why you are staring at me, knight. i think the two of them could get along rather well, although i see them having significant issues with pessimism. inch-restingly enough... the dark curse bades its hosts to kill askrans. and líf is, well. dead. so... perhaps... perhaps líf wouldn't trigger the curse like alfonse does. in that case, not only does líf get someone back he thought he'd never see again, but so does zacharias.

scenario two is just a nightmare. frankly, i initially thought this scenario would lead to líf just ignoring zacharias (out of guilt, pain, etc), but i was rereading the scripts looking for the spelling of angrboða and this came up:

Tell Hel. She'll erase those memories. She'll erase them all...

so, honestly? i think that in scenario two líf just straight up gets hel to remove his memories of zacharias (as an aside maybe this is also why he never ever ever talks about other anna >:{ )

in that case, líf wouldn't really have any reason to talk to this man, who causes this empty deeply sad feeling to well up in him for now discernible reason. and zacharias has no reason (or time) to talk to this standoffish general of the dead. so. that's a real ships in the night moment.

number three i think líf would still hold the same guilt as in number two, but i don't think it would be as horrifically tragic, so i think it's more likely he'd be willing to approach zacharias. he does appear to have even worse of a thing than alfonse about not opening oneself up to people, but i think that even if he's líf, he once was an alfonse, and being that this is me answering this, i don't think any alfonse can really keep away from a zacharias for very long. its a version of the person who once knew him as well as any other person in the world. like líf can't really seem to stop himself from associating with main sharena, i don't think he could stop himself from reaching out in his own way to main zacharias. and god does that man need some more friends. i think zacharias would probably be a little frightened of líf, and of what an alfonse could become. but i think probably... i feel like a lot of book i issues stem from the fact that, justified or not, zacharias thinks alfonse would risk anything, any harm to save him. i don't know that confronting an alfonse who literally risked everything and did all harm to save his world would be a comfort, but i do think zacharias would get a lot out of having someone who's already done the worst they can do. been there, done that, got the tshirt. i think zacharias would be a little afraid of what an alfonse could become, but i think he would no longer have to be afraid of... no, anxious about it. i think there's a kind of calm in having something confirmed that zacharias could appreciate. healthy? unhealthy? fuck if i know. i also think that in líf, zacharias has a friend who he can't physically hurt anymore. lífs already dead. been there done there got the.... glowing gel torso. i think, curse nonewithstanding, zacharias will always have some degree of tension and fear about hurting people he's in a relationship with, be that because of his issues with abandonment, of abandoning, of harm, etc. but you know. líf's kind of a rock. and he's already hit his rock bottom, now that i'm thinking about rocks. i think that kind of steady, placid deathness could really help zacharias. and i think he would find it soothing, whether or not he knew why.

plus he will be able to know that if the curse gets him, if he dies... he'll still have a friend in the realm of the dead. he doesnt have to be so afraid of leaving and getting left

so there we go! lots of musings. i have been thinkin about why my headcanons are less that and more elaborate branching theories, and i think it is because i would change my opinion depending on which story i wanted to tell or hear or see.so yeah. dunno which one of these answers belongs to the question, what does your interpretation of Zacharias think about Líf and Thrasir?, but hopefully at least one of them is interesting to read about!

OH also. i think he would be petty-ly annoyed about them cribing líf and thrasir's name. like full on scholar petty. probably showed up to the order in a nerdy huff excited to meet the actual factual líf and thrasir and turns out its just those two, sitting around glowing and reciting death metal lyrics like they're spoken word ballads. dont think he'd get over that ever.

#as an aside during the course of writing this #i have become convinced that ''I was powerless to stop it... There was nothing I could do...'' eir #could probably have interesting things to talk aboutwith ''he was all alone... there was nothing he could do to save himself...'' zacharias #anonymous #whew thats a lot of words #ill spell check in the morning #yeah right no ill spell check tomorrow evening #thats more likely #that was fun to think about #i hope this makes sense because i am NOT going to reread it #im going to go get dinner #sat here and DID NOT MOVE for ages #my neck is killing me #thanks zacharias

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bluephoenixdruidicprincess · 3 years

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i don't know why, i like dark romance, you know the thing people call abuse; i feel ashame. though, i liked it mostly on fanfics. like yes, i'm gonna read trash fanfic about sam/lucifer, john azazel, kol/bonnie or nyota uhura/nero, tasha yar/volskiar, sam carter/ba'al... i just can't help. but funny thing, i don't have any interest in "official" dark romance like 50 sog, no idea why.

And you know what, I kind of do too. I like to read dark romances, I like the thrill of it, often times dark romances play on two characters from very different back grounds (one light, one dark, typically) and I think its thrilling and interesting and fun to see how within the confines of the narrative, how these very different love interests are going to fall for each other. A lot of times they'll fall for eachother through some very unhealthy circumstances like kidnappings, bully/victim abuse, or creepy stalker watch you sleep possessive shit and I dont necessarily hate that in my fantasy romance reading. Why? Because its fantasy, it's not real, depending on what type of fantasy it is, it can be as far removed from our world as it can be or even parallel our world within the spectrum of urban paranormal type fantasy, but the fantasy part is what I believe is the important distinction here. It's something that's innately different from our reality so we can engage in this fantasy without feeling the true effects of it on our human psyche as it were.

However, something like 50 Shades of Grey, 365 Days, those kinds of stories dont necessarily have a fantastical element to them and instead cling to the more mundane aspects of every day life, so I think when we're exposed to stories like those we're more prone to emphatically feeling those really unhealthy and traumatizing kinds of relationships and seeing them glorified in the ways that they often can feel especially damaging to us. In dark romance, often the same thing happens but there also seems to be this much larger gap dividing the fantasy from the real world in a way that a lof of contemporary romances don't have and I think that's where we can sometimes get confused with trying to reconcile what we think are healthy relationships and what we enjoy reading about or seeing in stories. Like stories like 50sog or 365 creep me out a little but on the other side of the spectrum I've also read dark fantasies that have done much worse but that I actively enjoyed more so it caused me to question if I just have some kind of weird fetish for certain types of stories? Should I feel ashamed of this? Do I secretly crave being in an abusive relationship? To answer the question about fetishes, yes maybe I have some fetishes and some kinks but as long as they don't hurt anyone else then there's nothing wrong with that and you shouldn't feel ashamed either. Society has kind of put a blemish on fetish often linking it to perversion and things of that nature but to me having a fetish is just something that you find particularly exciting and there's nothing overtly wrong with that, again as long as its not hurting anyone else. And it certainly doesn't mean you crave to be in an abusive relationship of some sort. Enjoying stories that may involve exploring certain abusive tropes does not link you to that way of thinking in real life necessarily. Stories are largely made to play out fantasies, things that we can't or don't even want to experience in our real life but we still wish to experience it in some sort of capacity. Stories give that to us.

So yeah, I feel you on the dark romances. I love dark stories, when I enter a fandom and find characters I like, I often search for dark au fanfics about them, there's just a lot of interesting stories out there and if you're only down for 100% non-abusive stories, I dont know how you find them first of all, non-problematic stories I feel are probably just a myth at this point, but I also feel like you could be passing on a lot of fun stories too but that's just me. Obviously, I'm not here to tell anyone what they can or can't like, the purity police doesn't exist and you shouldn't let anyone make you feel like they do. We all have our own separate fetishes and kinks, so let's just engage in what we like and stop worrying about what other people like.

So my friend, definitely dont feel ashamed at all for liking the dark romance genre, there are so many others out there like you, including myself, that like these dark tropes, it doesn't say anything about you on whether or not you're a good or bad person. Reality is different than fantasy which is why we invoke the powers of our own creativity to bring the fantasy to us and I think we're awesome for doing that. Just keep being you and don't you dare judge yourself or let anyone else judge you.

#dark romance

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akechicrimes · 4 years

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Hey crimes, feel free to disregard this tangent but, do u ever feel like P5 inadvertently or otherwise implied Goro was right with his fake “vigilante justice operates outside and the law and thus must be brought to heel” opinion? What with the fact that the Yaldabaoth confrontation implies the thieves work perpetuated humanity’s sloth AND THEN after an entire game showing us the hundreds of people who were at the v least COMPLICIT in shido’s machinations, a system which is (1)

ohhhhh this one is fun!! this is a super neat question, ty for asking!!!

hmmmmmmmmm

im going to try and break this down into parts, partly because persona 5 is such a convoluted mess with its own lines of thinking, so tell me if i dont do it right. the issues are: (1) goro definitely did say that operating outside the law was bad just on principle that you shouldn’t operate outside the law, and (2) persona 5 did definitely go on to say that all of the phantom thieves’ operations outside the law didn’t come to anything in the first place anyway, because they were only targeting individuals instead of mass systemic corruption/their presence was enabling people to become more apathetic.

i think what persona 5 is trying to get at is that it’s not necessarily that acting outside the law is bad, but that, like you said, targeting only individuals doesn’t work as a tactic. so vigilante justice (e.g. batman style of taking down supervillains) cannot compare to societal reform through collective action.

when i say collective action, i mean that i think persona 5 is trying to point out that “systematic” corruption is really just a corruption of many, many, many individuals working in concert--and that “reform” could just be said to be the opposite, which is activism from many, many, many individuals working in concert.

obviously the ending cutscene where akira;s social link network gets together to protest his arrest is the best example of collective reform, but i think one of the things that i rly like about shido’s wide-spread conspiracy is that it does a rly good job of paralleling akira’s social link network, and pointing out that in the same way that shido’s conspiracy is a collective effort of many many many people that make up a “system,” akira’s widespread social link network creates the opposite effect of a collective effort of many many people that make up a force for change.

which is why having the phantom thieves as a group itself just promotes more apathy--you get one group of people doing all the work for the rest of society, when if anything’s going to change, we need everyone on their feet.

which surprisingly correct, insofar as i’m aware. if society’s going to change in a substantial way, beyond just changing the hearts of a handful of abusers and letting the rest of the system remain untouched, everyone’s got to be involved. collective effort. do your part. wash your hands. stay indoors. don’t forget to vote. seriously, wash your fucking hands.

but when it comes to whether or not persona 5 says that you shouldn’t be acting outside the law...

i think persona 5 really really really really really doesnt want to be caught promoting lawbreaking while also being You Should Break The Law: The JRPG.

part of this trouble, i think, is just because they need players to actually like the characters in the game, and therefore all the character have sympathetic reasons for breaking the law. because persona 5 has to sell marketable characters, too, persona 5 itself makes it pretty clear that people who operate “outside the law” are usually not evil dipshit criminals who love sin. the people in persona 5 who act outside the law are usually people who dont have enough power to operate inside the law in the first place. akira, the pt, and goro all seem to have resorted to what they did because they had no societal power at the start, wound up with a persona (aka fast and easy power source), and wouldnt have been able to do anything about their situation otherwise. characters who operate outside the law (like takemi with her vaguely illegal practice, or kawakami and her also vaguely illegal sex work, or iwai and his vaguely illegal gun business) are still supposed to be waifus you are sympathetic towards.

(...i think i accidentally called iwai a waifu? hmm. on second thought, i’ll just leave that sentence as it is.)

and i really do have to point out that persona 5′s attitude of FUCK COPS is insanely strong. like. persona 5 HATES cops. and that doesn’t let up basically ever, at all, at any moment. for anything. persona 5 wants me to believe that makoto will become a good cop in the future, but if i wanted to find an existing good cop, i’d have to go all the way back to persona 4. like!! shit!! goro akechi is the closest thing we have to a good cop, and he has a pet guillotine for CEOs and his middle name is komaeda.

and that part of the big attitude with FUCK COPS is that it’s another way of morally exonerating the phantom thieves. i think... although the game ultimately concludes with “you should probably not break the law any more because the metaverse is gone,” it’s difficult to argue with the fact that persona 5 is a game in which it presents you with 10000000000000 reasons to break the law and feel Great about it.

(another tangent: i feel like one of the big undercurrents of persona 5, and especially the TV station, is that the phantom thieves are justified in their lawbreaking because the police aren’t doing their fucking job. like, someone’s got to keep people safe, and if the cops don’t like the phantom thieves, maybe they should get off their asses and actually get the criminals before the thieves do. akira literally was on live television and he was like ALL COPS ARE BAD and goro was like wow. anyone else think that was really sexy? @ the guy in the glasses in the back, call me later when you’ve leveled up your charm and knowledge.)

so atlus is in this place where they’ve pointed out that people break the law because they dont really have any other choice, and also persona 5 the game HATES cops, and also persona 5 the game cannot tell you that breaking the law is bad because it is literally A Game About Breaking The Law, but at the same time, they cant really go around promoting crime. from a doylist perspective i was 100% unsurprised that they came up with a fancy narrative reason to get rid of the metaverse and their change-of-heart abilities and just the phantom thieves in general, because all of those are a threat to the status quo. although the game might be right that relying on the phantom thieves to change society for the rest of the population makes the rest of the population lazy and apathetic, it’s pretty convenient that this means that the kids are now no longer able to break the law. so persona 5 really wants people to do things the kosher way, e.g. protesting and such.

hhfmgmhfmghfmgfmghmfhgg. taking this all with a grain of salt, because again, i do think atlus is trying very hard to avoid saying that people should break the law:

i think atlus wants to say that it’s not necessarily acting outside the law that’s not right, but the fact that just loading the phantom thieves with a ton of power makes people apathetic, and changing the hearts of a few individuals is Not enough to get rid of something like shido’s conspiracy. so instead they say, you shouldn’t break the law because it’s not effective without collective reform.

i think another thing that persona 5 wants us to believe is that for the most effective reform to be achieved, people both inside and outside the law/system have to be involved in the collective effort to improve society.

e.g., toranosuke wants to be a man of the people--someone who speaks for the people who are outside of the diet, but toranosuke himself is someone inside the diet. sae’s the other good example; the phantom thieves protest akira’s arrest at the end of the game, but sae, as the insider in the justice system, has to be there to hear and work with them. and this might just be because i watched haru’s s link last night, but i feel like takakura is a really good example: haru pushes back against the company’s shitty policies with her “outsider’s” perspective (quoted because she’s technically the largest shareholder, she just hasnt ever been really involved in how the company is run), but takakura, as the company president and most powerful person at okumura foods, has to be there to hear her request and agree with her, and make company changes based on her requests.

and it’s for this reason that persona 5 wants us to consider maybe lawbreaking isnt morally bad, just not effective.

i wish i could say that that’s more bad atlus writing, but it’s not. i’ve only really examined changing schools on an institutional level, but the best examples of institutional change in school administration have always been cases where the administration, parents, and community members all work together. in some cases, parents bring up requests for the school to accommodate their needs, and the administration listens and works with them. something something--everyone needs an advocate. the point of a lawyer is to advocate for you. the point of a politician/representative is to represent you and your interests. so on and so forth.

(and i also wish that it could be as simple as saying, “wow atlus said something right for once!” because that’s not true, either--acting outside the law can be outrageously effective. persona 5 trying to tell us that acting outside the law to get shit done isn’t effect smells like corporate trying to tell its workers that unionizing doesnt actually do anything.)

(and i also wish that persona 5 would have acknowledged that sometimes, it takes more than just an extremely moral person to change the world. take toranosuke, for example--i’m sure that if he gets elected, he’ll go out there and be a wonderful representative of the people, but at the same time, can’t we also simultaneously acknowledge that any politician who can make “politics” a career for profit will always be incentivized towards self-interest? in the same way that a military for profit will always be incentivized towards war?)

but insofar as whether or not persona 5 thinks that vigilante justice/acting outside the law is in and of itself morally bad--i’d say probably not. i think they want us to think that it’s not effective.

this is a slight tangent that kind of goes off the issue of whether or not persona 5 is concerned with whether or not breaking the law is moral or effective. i was going back through goro’s dialogue in the engine room--who knows if that’s going to be changed in royal--but i was trying to figure out exactly what the phantom thieves condemn him for. (fucking difficult as fuck considering how bizarre that dialogue was at places.)

the first one is murder, which goro is unimpressed with (LMAO. KING). the second is that he operated outside the law, to which he replies that they did the same thing (valid). the third is that his form of justice was “selfish,” in that it only served his personal need for revenge. at that point, goro changes the subject--which is not really surprising, since goro admitted long before the engine room that his quest against shido was for his own personal satisfaction.

that is to say, the phantom thieves can’t say that they don’t operate outside the law, because they do--however, if the phantom thieves can’t be legally exonerated, the phantom thieves are morally exonerated despite operating outside the law because they do it for the benefit of others. that’s actually not an incorrect statement from the phantom thieves, although i dont think they’re doing it for Society Writ Large. the phantom thieves in every single palace have taken on targets to help someone else: firstly ann and ryuji and shiho, then yusuke, then various shujin students being blackmailed by kaneshiro, etc, etc. i remember pretty distinctly that ann insists that she doesnt want to get involved with madarame just for drama or fame (whereas ryuji wants to pick a big target just for the sake of getting famous), but she agrees to get involved with madarame’s palace because she doesn’t want to leave yusuke to possibly kill himself like a previous student.

because the phantom thieves are not able to say that they haven’t operated outside the law in the same way that goro has, the dividing line between them is instead that the phantom thieves are doing so selflessly. but this is just an elaboration on the question of whether or not “is lawbreaking moral?” rather than necessarily “is lawbreaking effective?”

there’s an argument that nothing goro or the phantom thieves did was effective in the long run, and there’s an argument that sae is proof positive that working inside the system won’t be effective, either.

anyway, unions are effective. so maybe we should agree to wash our hands and join a union.

#mine #meta #clouis-loumentine

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strangerthingsharrington · 4 years

Text

Can’t Fight This Feeling

-12-

Once everyone came down from the shock of everything we started talking. Trying to think of something, anything, to get us out of the position we were in.

But..it was almost midnight and Dustin and Erica started showing their exhaustion. Erica fell asleep first with Dustin going about ten minutes later. Robin pushed through a little longer but she fell asleep leaning against one of the walls.

I was past the point of exhaustion and had new energy. I sighed and leaned against some of the boxes, trying in vain to relax.

A few feet away sat Steve, running a hand through his hair.

"Well?" I asked him.

He looked back at me questioningly, "Well?" he echoed.

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

He sighed, "I have no idea, I mean, none of the buttons work and we can't climb out...I have no idea."

I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, "The walkie talkie?" I wondered.

He hummed, "Maybe, but there's no point now since it's so late. Doubtful anyone would even hear it."

I bit my lip, "So we're just...stuck."

I heard him shuffling so I looked over to him and sat that he moved to sit right in front of me, our legs just a few inches away from each other.

"For now," he stated, "we're gonna get out of here...it just won't be through the elevator right now. When the doors open-"

"We'll have to fight," I finished simply.

He grinned at me, "Or be sneaky and get out," he raised his brows.

"Or be sneaky," I agreed, "how would we do that though?"

He sighed, "I'm not sure," he admitted, "that's the problem...it might have to be an on the move kinda plan that we can't plan for."

I knew he was right. We didn't know what was behind the doors. We didn't know what we were going to have to do. We wouldn't know what to do until the last possible second.

"Shit," I whispered.

"Hey," Steve softly said, causing my eyes to flash to him, "I was serious when I said I wouldn't let anything happen to Dustin, you know?"

I smiled back cautiously, "I know."

He cleared his throat, "That extends to you too, okay? I won't let anything happen to either of you...Robin and Erica too, obviously," he added, "I swear it."

"Thanks Steve," I told him.

Steve stretched his legs out in front of him, which put them next to my legs, "You happy to be almost done with school?" he questioned.

I sighed straightening my legs out too. It clicked in my head in an instant. Could this be the moment where I got all my feelings about King Steve off my chest? So that maybe every time I looked at Steve I wouldn't have this subconscious fear of whatever he was thinking about? Could this be the moment I, finally, stand up for myself the way I should've against them for years?

I cleared my throat and looked away from him, "Yeah, this is finally gonna be a good year I think, so I'm more looking forward to that."

"Finally?" he asked, puzzled.

I let my eyes ghost over him for a second before looking down at my lap, "Yeah...now that some certain kids are gone, I might actually have a pleasant school year."

I took a peak up at him and say his eyes watching me intently, "Who?"

Just as quickly as my semi bravery came, it was gone. I realized I didn't want to hurt his feelings or anything.

I looked down once again, "Tommy and Carole mostly...but um," I bit my lip, wishing I could backtrack and not say anything else, but I was too far gone, "you were there for one big one."

"What?" he blurted, shocked.

I took a breath and looked up at him, seeing the sadness already evident on his face, "When Tommy told me you had a crush on me? Then you laughed and told him how messed up that was. You also called me Lisa so..."

He sighed deeply and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, "Shit," he whispered quietly, "I honestly don't remember that...but yeah that sounds like something douchy Steve would be involved in," Steve lamented, as I watched his body semi deflate as this realization.

I shrugged my shoulders gently, "You definitely were."

He ran a hand through his hair before bringing his knees up to his chest, "That's not...me anymore, Lou," he expressed, wrapping his arms around his knees.

I shot him a small smile, "So I've been told," I told him before sighing heavily, "Steve I don't-I dont necessarily think thats you anymore either...but that was just such a shitty thing, and I really wanted to get it off my chest."

He let his legs stretch out once more and his mouth fell open, "Is that...is that why you hadn't really talked to me when I started hanging around with Dustin? Or why you seemed a bit standoff-ish at the beginning of all this?" he wondered watching for my reaction.

I looked away from him as I nodded slowly.

"Lou," he breathed, I looked back to him and saw the regret in his eyes, he looked so sad, "I'm really sorry...about all of that," he told me earnestly, fidgeting with the hem of his scoops ahoy shirt.

I smiled a little and looked away from him, "Thanks."

"Please don't...accept the apology unless you...really accept it. I was a true asshole in school, and I just-shit," he said, looking up to the ceiling, "I know how much of a jerk I was to a lot of people, Lou. You included, same with Jonathan and probably Robin too."

"Steve," I began, "Steve, please look at me," I pleaded.

He took a second but he finally lowered his head and made eye contact with me.

"I know that...that was all high school shit and maybe it was to save face with Tommy H and Carole...regardless, yeah you kinda sucked in high school," I rambled, trying to get to my point, "but that doesn't seem like you now. And I wasn't bringing this up to make you feel bad or to upset or hurt you...it's just been something that's been weighing on me for so long, then we're thrown into this madness together. I just wanted to get this off of me so that I coukd start dealing with it instead of bottling it up."

"Trust me, I'm happy you brought it up," he told me, "I don't want you to have this version of me in your head anymore. The shit I did to a lot of people was-it was really messed up. I can't change it, but I can try and change the way you think of me going forward."

"I appreciate that a lot, Steve, really I do," I admitted, "we really don't have to keep talking about this...it's been said so we can just...continue onwards."

"Just before we move forward or whatever, I just...shit," he sighed running both hands through his hair before looking back to me with an intensity I hadnt seen before from him, "I will never intentionally hurt you, Louise. Seriously, I-I was a jerk back then, not that that's an excuse, but that's the truth. And I'm so sorry you've carried that around with you all this time, it should have never happened. I'm just...so sorry. Really, really from the bottom of my heart, I'm so sorry."

I was taken aback a bit because of his response to this. I never once thought he would react to this the way he did. With absolute sincerity and honesty and admitting how much of a jerk he was. I couldnt believe it.

"Thank-you, Steve," I said, breathlessly, "that means a lot to me."

He grinned sadly at me briefly before his eyes looked downcast. I looked away from him to give him his space after all of that. He finally spoke up after a few minutes.

"So I mean...have you started looking at colleges yet?" he asked quietly.

I smiled over at him, "A few...I think im gonna stay local though, be close to mom and Dust...especially knowing all this now, I'll wanna be as close as I can be," I chuckled.

"What about you? Where are you headed this year?" I asked him.

"To Scoops Ahoy," he answered automatically.

I squinted, "Oh...so no college?"

He cleared his throat, "No...I figured that I'd take a year off and work, you know, learn the value of earning and all that shit. Then figure out what I wanna do."

"That's smart, Steve," I smiled.

He shook his head with a small smile, "Honestly I just wanted to see if my story was as believable to people as I wanted it to be. Truthfully, I didn't get into any school that I wanted and my dad said I needed to get a job...and that's the scoops ahoy story."

I immediately felt bad for him, "I'm really sorry, Steve."

He shrugged, "Hey...that's life I guess. I proved my dad right that I wouldn't amount to anything other than working for him so...I mean, you heard what he said...I'm his biggest disappointment," he mumbled.

"What do you want to do?"

"What?"

"What do you want to be when you're older?"

He scratched his head, "Oh...I dont know, I guess. I've never really thought of it too much. What about you?"

"I want to be an accountant, I've done my moms taxes for the last few years just for fun before she gave them to the actual accountant and I've always been right. I like numbers and stuff," I explained, feeling self conscious that he would think I'm a nerd or something.

"That's a good one," he nodded with a smile, "you're really smart, Lou. You could literally do anything, I think."

My face flushed at his words, "Thanks," I said softly.

He hesitated with a thoughtful expression, "Maybe a teacher," he finally said, "I like hanging out with your brother and the other kids in the party for the most part...I like imparting my wisdom on them and helping them out...yeah...a teacher sounds good," he said with a very faint smile, but the smile was gone in an instant.

"But no school will take me for that...my grades were shit, no one would want me teaching their kids," he declared with an eye roll before looking to the wall.

I put my hand on his knee and shook it to get him to look at me, "Go and talk to the principle or something...maybe they can help out somehow? Taking night classes or something so you can bring your grades up?"

"Yeah that'd look good, Steve Harrington returns to Hawkins High because he got rejected from every school he applied to," he said sarcastically.

I scoffed, "No, it would look like, Steve Harrington returns to school to work towards a better life for himself."

"I'd probably flunk those classes too," he said dejected.

I scooted up so we were closer to each other, and took his hand in mine, looking right in his eyes, "Steve...you've gotta have faith in yourself. If you don't wanna work for your dad then don't work for him. If you don't want to turn out like him, then don't. Nothing is stopping you. You're young, Steve, you can make something of yourself. And you're smart-"

"Not really-"

"Yes you are! You can acknowledge things that you did wrong in the past, you helped with the plan for getting in here, and you're gonna help get us out! I dont know who's been telling you that you're not smart, but they're wrong. Just put your mind to something, Steve, and you'll get whatever it is that you want," I squeezed his hand as I spoke.

He sent me a small smile, "You should re think your career choice and become a motivational speaker."

I laughed quietly, "I'll think about it."

"But seriously, thank you for that...that huh...yeah that means a lot to have someone say that," he explained, putting his other hand over ours.

"No problem," I smiled, "and I'll help you too, Steve. Picking classes, with homework, studying, I'd be happy to help."

"Thank-you," he murmured.

I smiled at him before sliding myself back against the wall, letting his hand go gently in the process.

"So...when the door opens..."

"I'm telling you, I can take them on," he told me, "whoever is on the other side, I'll take them out!" he joked.

I laughed quietly, "I'm sure you will," I said through a yawn.

"Get some sleep, Lou," he told me gently, patting my knee.

I hummed and leaned my head against the wall, "You have too, to."

"I will," he promised.

I sighed, "Close your eyes too, Steve," I said as my eyelids closed by themselves.

"I will, Lou, I swear," he reassured me, with his hand still on my knee.

"Night, Steve," I whispered wearily.

"Night, Louise," he whispered soothingly back to me.

——

Title credit to REO Speedwagon and gif credit to owner

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #stranger things #stranger things imagine #netflix #dustin henderson

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