#i feel like i havent really like

[mercuryferns]

Not to “vent” on main, but i want to speak about pride and autism for a bit

I’m currently in a weird place in my life where im trying to accept many aspects of my identity that i considered ugly for a long long time. one of those being my autism, which i was diagnosed with a little earlier on this year. having that diagnosis fundamentally changed how i viewed myself in ways i struggle to describe to you. i had a brief phase where in desperation to dissociate myself from the stigmatized perception of autistic people that had unconsciously polluted my brain, i swore to use terms like “aspie” and “high functioning” “level one” as if allistic society seeing me as not human but in a slightly more appealing way (that being that instead of being seen as a four year old incapable of original thought i would be a weird carbon copy of albert einstein destined to cure cancer) would somehow make my life easier.

it doesnt, all it does is reinforce the same pseudo scientific eugenic hierarchy of what a clever worthy person is and what a broken unintelligible undeserving one is. realizing that was tough, because i grew up coping with my autistic traits by being whatever people wanted. i was like cheap air dried clay where the more i tried to mould myself into something i wasnt the more i started to crack, smooth over it meticulously with spit and desperation. im still in this spot of fragmented identity, in a liminal space between what i always wished i could be and the disappointing reality of what i actually am.

is it disappointing? is it only disappointing because i’m who i was taught was wrong?

i got what is known as an “unofficial” diagnosis. in other words, we went to a psychiatrist, did an evaluation, and was told hey yeah you’re right. this was because my mother wanted me to be diagnosed with asbergers, which is no longer recognized. i know she meant well. she didnt want me to feel like i was carrying a label too heavy for me. but theres a major part of me - especially after finding out exactly why the label “asbergers” exists - which is in violent opposition to it.

and. upon finding validation in the online autistic community i discovered just how unfounded my shame is. Being autistic is beautiful in so many ways. it makes me so sad that i would ever dismiss it as a part of me. I dont know how i managed to evade diagnosis for so long.

(when i look back on my childhood, i find it riddled with memories of rooms with yoga balls and swings; middle aged ladies with pixie cuts and the same lipstick spending hours trying to teach me how to write the letter C; pulled out of class “where am i going?“ “i think you need to calm down” “i am calm”; my father eyeing my ankles and calling “flat feet” as a reminder to let my heels touch the cold grainy tiles of our stoep, drawing faces on my erasers and sobbing for days when a girl threw penelope in the bin of the afrikaans class; reciting “just think about something else just think about something else just think about something else just-“ while attempting to get myself to eat egg and toast that was too toasted and anything with more than two identifiable textures; seeing someone in my spot in my spot in my spot in my spot in my spot thats my spot thats my spot thats my spot feeling something boil in my stomach; what are you doing i dont like it i dont understand are friends supposed to do this to me?)

Yeah. I have to study for my history exam now. But the point is that im autistic. And thats not only okay thats fucking awesome. Its a huge part of my life and if your idea of normal is what has caused me so much pain and dissociation throughout the years then deal with it when i actually embrace my own brain.

allistics who are cool, this is not intended to shit on you. just some thoughts ive had lately.

#i speak #ableism tw #tw #autism #asbergers #ugh #asd #neurodiversity #autistic #disability #i have mixed feelings about using the phrase disabled to describe myself #i feel like i havent really like #struggled to the extent that i can call myself that #but heck #learning disabilities #vent #identity #I was technically diagnosed first when I was 9 #but my mother decided I didn’t need to know that lmao

[qiinamii]

i wouldn't have met you

#guess whats stuck in my head now #i actually havent caught onto any shows or series for several years and to follow up this one i think has been really pleasant #and painful #its been really nice to see closure for simon hes such an old man skrunkle #i dont even watch a lot of AT in the past but i do know enough to feel that pain like Man i almost forgot shows can be Worth it #fionna the human #fionna campbell #cake the cat #simon petrikov #and a tiny dash of #winter king #qiiarts #fionna and cake #adventure time

[taxinealkaloids]

kill your darling, it's just that easy!

#tlt #my art #i reblogged these outfits the other day that were giving me big ianthe & naberius vibes so i wanted to draw something with them #got really funky w/ this one! i just wanted to play around i havent had the chance to draw in a while #so i just kinda let myself do whatever w/ the colors and art style and everything #idk how i feel about it but it was fun #anyway ive seen some posts suggesting that ianthe somehow cheated the system by sacrificing naberius and like... #no she absolutely did not? she paid that price exactly by the book (making her one of the few to actually do so) #and now she suffers forever for it :) #oh the line on top is a quote from the book and the caption is a lyric from 'kill your darling' by cloudy june #(which aside from that one line is not at all a ianthe&naberius song lmao)

[jam-campasta]

I finished the silly game trilogy and it made me Sad

#i really liked the first two books and the third one was 👍🏻 Fine #the hunger games #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne #primrose everdeen #myart #i haveee a lot of art i havent posted cause the amount of times i draw within like a week is #sparse to say the least #i will try to post more! dont wanna put a lotta pressure on myself since im just doin all this for fun wahoo #i feel like i need a new project to work on or smthn. but i dont wanna woorrrkkk..... SIGH

[puppyeared]

id fumble him so bad

#really really rushed but ill probably go back and clean these up tmrw anyway #i havent played stardew valley but ive been meaning to because i have a little crush on this guy ^_^ hes cute #idk why but smth about him is really endearing. like between him and sunburst i feel like theres a pattern here but idk what #i guess my type is boys that whimper #the last two images are based on a real conversation i had with my doctor a few years ago lol. deadass stared at me for a good 2 minutes #i wanna make a farmersona too...... if my minecraft gameplay is anything to go by id probably play with animals all day instead of #actually farming........ can i just do livestock in stardew.. i dont have a green thumb i managed to kill a succulent once...... #actually idk if my computer is even strong enough to run steam but i dont wanna get it on my phone. maybe ill get the microsoft download #unless stardew has its own website like minecraft. i really dont know anything abt it so im going in blind from the start #my art #myart #doodles #puppysona #sona #sdv #sdv harvey #stardew valley #whats funny about this is i have a classmate who kinda looks like if brian david gilbert and harvey had a baby. i havent told him this

[eclypseaf]

guess whose fault it is

#my art #art #tmagp #tmagp fanart #the magnus protocol #magpod #samama khalid #alice dyer #sam khalid #fanart #barbie meme #i feel like this has been done already and i havent seen it #or i'm really late to this meme #either way enjoy #this is one of the silliest things i've ever drawn and i regret how much time and effort actually went into it #i love it

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Heroes of Millennium (HoM) AU

Act 1: What was left behind. - Part 1 <- Part 2 (here) -> Part 3

#hom au #heroes of millennium au #danny phantom #danny fenton #jake long #american dragon jake long #adjl #dp #rc9gn #*bangs fists on table and cackles like a hyena* I DID PROMISE ITS GONNA BE VERY MEATY but in this case i meant ACTION BABEY #cant draw action comics for shitt but does it stope me????? NOPE you are all gonna suffer thru this with me #also i do feel a need to apologize for my excess use of c o l o r s but i really havent figured out how to draw like a normal person #also x2 sorry for like. 2 month long break between these parts hah

[fluffyartbl0g]

The one piece reread only makes the hardest moments hit even harder,,,, even when you’re rereading it poorly in portugese

Or AKA, i found out today that HINATA SHOYO reads one piece and I haven’t recovered since

#one piece #haikyuu #hinata shoyo #roronoa zoro #(kinda) #omfg okay time for my entirely SEPERATE POST IN THE TAGS #i only got into one piece at the end of last year... but ive been in the anime and manga scene for like. my entire life #i cannot understate how WILD it is that I havent noticed how everywhere one piece is.... #like once i read it... i started finding it EVERYWHERE #my sister gifted me an issue of shonen jump ages ago cause i liked act age and kimetsu no yaiba chainsaw man promised neverland etc #and it doesnt have like a one piece chapter in it actually (to my disappointment) #but IT DOES HAVE A LIL ADVERTISING SEGMENT AT THE FRONT TALKING ABOUT OKIKU FIGURINES AND OTHER ONE PIECE CRAP #AND IDK IT LITERALLY JUST BLEW MY MIND #ONE PIECE DIDNT EXIST IN MY LIFE BUT.... IT DID???? #I HAD ONE PIECE MERCH BEFORE I EVEN BECAME OBSESSED WITH IT??? (hahah if you can consider a tiny segment mentioning okiku op merch XD) #just imagine suddenly being obsessed with a piece of media. and then you look around ur room and U SUDDENLY RECOGNISE A CHARACTER MERCH??? #ITS BEEN IN UR ROOM FOR YEARS BUT YOUVE NEVER REALLY EVEN NOTICED IT OR JUST BRUSHED IT OFF WHENEVR U SAW IT #BUT ITS THAT CHARACTER!!!! ITS THAT MEDIA THAT UR MADLY IN LOVE WITH???? #also im being 100 percent legit when i say that the sense of comeraderie i feel when someone says theyve ALSO read one piece #is insane #discovering that domics and worthiikids and all these other big youtubers that ive known for years have loved one piece like me? #it makes my heart clench and my eyes water man #ive never felt so connected to the world... one piece really is peak fiction..... #i love one piece's community sm....

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[weirdmageddon]

It's not totally clear here why Dave's dream self appears to be already awake while his real self is also awake. I think we must infer that his dream self is in some sort of "waking trance" where he's technically awake but too preoccupied by certain things to be considered fully awake.

thinking about jade being lonely as hell on her island and going to sleep waking up on prospit and seeing john (not knowing his name yet) asleep plagued with the creepy dersite doll dreams with the scary teeth and just aughhhh

and she’d like overhear the white queen talk about the dark kingdom derse and the prince(sse)s of the moon that are there and trying to attract as little attention as possible jade would fly out there through the medium because shes so lonely. and she’d go to the purple moons’ towers. she’d find a girl is sound asleep in her purple robes and bed. but the other kid on the moon she finds is awake! except… not really. more like in a trance state. awake but not conscious. but she likes to hear whatever garbled stuff this triangle-speced boy has to say

the trip is long but jade visits this boy a few times since he’s the only non-asleep person like her she can interact with face to face. he usually seems lost in his own world, usually listening to music or talking to himself about stuff that doesnt make much sense. when she’s deprived of sapient affection she’ll touch him in small gestures like holding his hand while he listens to his music and he’ll squeeze back instinctually, and it helps her experience a microdose of the human connection. maybe he doesnt get much in the way of sapient affection either. when she hears The Horrors of the furthest ring another dream headset pops into existence for her to listen along with him and they listen to whatever music hes making. who is he

#homestuck #hs #dave strider #jade harley #davejade #kinda #just for visibility #idk theyre probably like 9 here #havent met yet at that point probably #a year or so later john introduces her to an online friend named dave #she asks about his hobbies and he sends her stuff hes working on #the sorts of music he sends her feels familiar #she feels compelled to learn from him and collaborate #hmm. i wonder since this free association dream dave is more id-influenced #if he composed crystalanthemums from his dreams with jade. because it sounds sweet dreamy and wistful #because it originated from dave in freshjamz #like waking dave i mean. because hes awake but like. subconscious dream dave channeling stuff #and he’s like. huh. whyd i feel compelled to write that damn #and he found it and was like “oh hey i dont remember even making this one its from a couple years ago Crystalanthemums.mp3” #and jade is like “wow dave this is really pretty!!!! i …… dont know why….but i have this feeling that i should be remixing this!”

[snakeoid]

i wish he looked more like a bat

#bg3 #astarion #sorry im dead i havent really balanced my time yet and when i do have the free time to draw it feels like ive forgotten how #im still trying to get used to being on my own the loneliness is kinda killing me rn

[merrysithmas]

when ppl see this & this, directed by the same person, and think the narrative is "anakin is evil" not "anakin is a steward of the balance, a force demi god, as was foretold on Mortis" 😂

#anakin skywalker #ahsoka #not my gifs #if you havent seen TCW i really feel like stock in your anakin opinion is p low #you need to watch it to get a full picture of his journey and his purpose in the galaxy #he was good and evil #he is quite literally a demi god #he is always and will always be both #his ultimate struggle was wrestling with that and failing it in life bc he couldnt accept it #he was a slave to the destiny the force created him for #he was a slave to the sith #he was a servant of the jedi #he is quintessenially never truly free #he hated and loved the jedi in equal measure #he never loved the sith #he is balanced but OF THE FORCE #he was manipulated by the dark side but he is MADE OF THE FORCE #therefore he will always stand for the force the jedi way and the light #which is why he is a forceghost #star wars #u all know how i get when i put my stanakin shoes on #anyway the ogt and prequels are buddhist allegories and anakin isnt beholden to western concepts of morality in that sense as a character #in a mythic literary epic sense #also obviously he isnt human either #which is a big ring-a-ling

[lunarin64art]

That feeling when he can't stand to see you that way, no matter what you do, no matter what you say😩😭💔

#scott pilgrims precious little life #scott pilgrim vs the world #spvtw #spto #scott pilgrim #wallace wells #lisa miller #scollace #kim pine #natalie adams #envy adams #don't rlly know if I like how this turned out but oh well;;; #hope its obvious that this is based on the song “Scott Pilgrim” which the creation the comics were inspired from #the lyrics always make me think of Wallace and Lisa's feelings for Scott every time I hear it #ofc you could also relate it to Kim especially since the singers voice kind of reminds me of her #but overall the lyrics fit these two much better since Scott never truly “saw them that way” despite how long they've liked him #and they always seem happier to see him compared to Kim #Im surprised tho that I havent yet seen anyone draw these two together now that their dialogue parallels have been acknowledged more lately #also tho I wish more people pointed out that they both got cucked by red heads LOL #and Kim and Envy actually do look really similar when scott first meets them #makes me wonder if Scott subconsciously went for Envy since she reminded him of Kim (which would be fitting given that you could argue that #Envy dated Scott because he reminded her of Todd. Since he and Scott are confirmed to be meant to be seen as similar to one another #so much so that even their first and last names rhyme #last thing I'll add tho is that while Wallace and Lisa are very similar even personality wise #the one big difference is that despite that whole conclusion on vol4 of Scott not cheating on Ramona with Lisa because he loves her #the writers apparently think it would be “organically correct” for him to have an affair with wallace LMAO #but I guess we shouldn't be surprised since Wallace and Ramona are both in the front of the official valentines art which is clearly #a deptiction of Scotts wet dream or smth (oh and you could also argue that Wallace and Lisa parallel on that art since they're both #shirtless with white socks.. which could be a reference to how lisa wears skimpy clothes for Scott and Wallace often only wears boxers #to like sexually frustrate Scott for fun or smth

[moeblob]

FRECKLING CONTINUES.

#fe engage #rosado #i havent drawn him before and i think freckles are important to engage you cant stop me from freckling people from engage #everyone in engage deserves freckles #ok time to color the first comm because yeehaw got lines approval i feel so happy #benefits to being a fast drawer and liking line art ! it doesnt take me as long #however as a color despiser im not looking forward to it #i say as i color rosado bc #i actually think my art looks so much better colored even if its grayscale or a color palette #so i try really hard to color most of my art but it also is why i use flat colors for the clothing most times

[rubra-wav]

[ Entry #10 ] What it would be like actually dating Vox hcs

A/N I love Vox, but the reality of it is that he'd be terrible for a lot of reasons and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it in here like at all.

Me when theoretically very complex but ultimately still extremely problematic character: *foaming at mouth*

I love him.. but God I also hate him... but I also love hi-

This is a long one jfc.

Cw: Nsfw - no smut but strong themes, discussion of toxic relationships, manipulation, discussion of emotionally abusive/controlling behaviour, insecure aa toxic cis man behaviour, suggestive at one point

Someone asked me what I thought he'd be like with a yes-man reader so here it is

The worst out of the way first

The thing about Vox is that he's got a fuckton of baggage and bad traits that need desperate management, and they would sure as hell not be being managed by him on his own choice.

As his partner, you would NOT be able to be a pushover or shy away from any kind of confrontation about actions that have upset you because if Vox had a partner like this? He'd become the absolute worst version of himself in your relationship because you would not be calling him out or enforcing boundaries with him.

- He's insecure, and it's in the worst way possible.

And not in the 'aw he just needs to be loved and then he'll be healed' way. I'm talking in the 'toxic, refuses to remedy his own behaviours, becomes very emotionally abusive abt it if you don't pull up your boots and confront him abt it and make sure he actually does shit about it' way.

The fanfic community likes to portray him as a victim in the relationship with Val, and while it's true Val is certainly worse for obvious/overt reasons - He's still not just a victim in that situation. He's also terrible.

Just for reasons that are less overt and are thus overshadowed a lot. Acknowledging that doesn't make the shit Val (at least seemingly thus far. Vox side-stepped the drink being thrown pretty fast and seems accustomed to violent tantrums) does to him any less terrible, it's just the truth he's not a poor defenceless victim in that. (Vox literally goes to try use his mind control power on Val the second he seems like he's gonna damage their image then throws his lowest earners under the bus.)

- In the beginning if you aren't giving him attention at all times, do something that reminds him of Valentino even slightly, or if you do something that he just mildly doesn't like; then he will be passive aggressive or straight up aggressive as absolute fucking hell.

The second he feels slighted even a little bit, he's going to be so pissy.

- And he can't communicate for absolute shit. He thinks you are doing shit on purpose to piss him off or hurt him. This is due to his relationship with Val, but it's not him being a sad sob story kind of thing (not all around at least), he will be awful to you if you allow him to ever be just a victim who can do no wrong.

- He will project all his bs heavily onto you in the beginning with complete self awareness and no thought given to managing his own shit.

If you ask what's wrong when he's acting up he probably would be the type of bitch to go 'nothing's wrong' and will then proceed to ruminate upon it until he ends up exploding about it later on. Or, maybe he'll even do the 'you know what you've done' type of shit.

- He would probably expect you to be a mind reader and when you inevitably aren't aware of wtf is happening because he hates being emotionally vulnerable at all and can't describe what's going on properly for himself, he will be an absolute bitch about it. (Carried here from my other hc that he has a bunch of self-imposed toxic masculinity he needs to deconstruct)

- If you call him out, he will likely try to convince you he's not doing it.

- He'll become increasingly more self-aware of his behaviour you are aware of and will just be even worse because he hates that you could see something about him he doesn't want you to see.

Basically, he feels embarrassed as fuck about it, and cannot apologise because that's humiliating as all hell to him, so instead of turning inwards and dealing with his crap he then proceeds to consciously project shit onto you even when he knows he's in the wrong.

He'd rather argue the wrong point and behaviour than admit he's capable of making mistakes.

He will probably also try to hypnotise you into forgetting anything he thinks is undesirable you know about him too.

- You will need to actually teach him real consequences for his actions, but also need to be assuring him that you aren't going to do shit like Val would have or leave him for someone else and shit like that simultaneously.

He needs to essentially be taught consequences, boundaries, healthy relationship behaviour, etc. From absolute scratch. I would literally pay for this cunts therapy atp istg.

- And this is gonna be an absolute fucking nightmare because again, he doesn't want to admit that he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing and that he's in the wrong. All that interferes with his image he wants to put out at all times in your relationship with him.

He's got masks on masks. Even one for your relationship. The second that cracks in any regard, he's gonna be rushing to compensate for that, and if that doesn't work, he's gonna be pissed and most likely end up pushing that onto you.

- Speaking of image. I mentioned this in a fic, but he'd most likely be extremely controlling over your freedom to disclose your relationship, too. If he thought you would look poor as a partner for his reputation (ie. Low status, bad reputation), he'd most likely never want to publicly reveal your relationship no matter how much he loves you - he'd likely hide this completely behind you having privacy but if you say you want people to know anyway he's going to slowly become more and more overtly pissy about it.

And, if you are openly known to be in a relationship, he will be wanting to control your own image as well.

If you step one foot out of line of what he deems perfect, good lord he will be an absolute nightmare.

- Also mentioned in another post, but he would absolutely also watch you through cameras you don't know are there. Same as what he's seen doing with Val.

- He's got practically zero qualms in the beginning of your relationship with violating your privacy or boundaries if he thinks he'll get away with it/that you won't find out about it. This also likely goes for things like checking your texts, calls, and search history without permission.

- The possibility that he'd try to interfere with your personal relationships if he thought they would try drag you away from him or if they take up a lot of your attention is also pretty present.

He's an incredibly jealous person (as seen by him seeming jealous of Angel with Val of all people), so the second he sees you giving someone else positive attention? He's gonna be fucking furious.

- Again, you could not be a pushover in your relationship with him because he'd be absolutely awful. You'd have to basically be reality checking him every three seconds - it's NOT for the faint of heart and even if you're incredibly patient you will probably be going insane from it at points.

Implying you can actually get him to change tho he would become a lot better - he's gonna be fighting you on practically everything because the second he feels out of control of a situation or himself he's gonna be freaking out.

He will probably be straight up terrified if it seems like you are making him 'change', even if it's for the better and will ultimately ALSO benefit him too.

The SECOND he feels out of control of a situation in any way, he will be terrible.

- Also, if you manage to push him on the path to behaviour management this cunt will be looking smug and proud of himself as all hell the second he even slightly does what you ask and will be a bitch if you don't rain down praise on him for it. 💀

- He's so positive attention motivated it's actually pathetic lmao

With that out of the way - the slightly better/good other stuff

- Vox works fucking nightmare hours with his position in hell, and he hates not being able to be around you much so he's almost always trying to make it up to you.

- He'll be on calls with you or texting you most hours of the day (even when he probably should not be) because he's honestly clingy as hell.

If you don't like having a million notifications from someone blowing up your phone with random shit then you are not going to like being apart from him because he is chronically on his phone.

- Another thing is the gifts.

If you want a sugar daddy aa boyfriend? This is the man for you because my God will he shower you with the most expensive gifts you have ever received. New phones, cars, jewellery, clothes, so on so on.

It's bad if you don't like consumerism and want to keep devices even if newer ones come out because the second something new comes out he's getting it for you - even before it becomes publicly available to the rest of hell, it's in your hands. He wants the best stuff and only the best stuff for you. How would that make him look if his partner didn't have all the best stuff? To you and also others

- Also, the second you mention you actually want or need something? It's there right in front of you. Bro has personal delivery drones, and it will be there in under 15 minutes delivered to you or someone's getting shot.

- I've seen a few people imply gift giving is his primary love language, and it's certainly up there, but I personally think that it's more likely acts of service.

This man never does anything for anyone unless it's to keep things from being annoying to him, self gain, or damaging his image. So for him to do things for you that he knows you want from him even if he doesnt particularly want to? He is well and truly in love with you, and that would be how he'd let you know that even if he isn't self-aware of it, lmao.

He doesn't like being told to do things, but he's really good at picking up on what people want usually (unless he's being delulu) so if he notices something or you mention stuff off-hand? He'll try to do it/get it/whatever it is for you.

Material things are just material things. He's rich, it doesn't mean that much to drop thousands for him. Him actually doing things for you, though? Even if it doesn't benefit him at all? That's something else entirely.

Will be annoying asf if you don't thank him enough for it, though. Ie. "Well, you're welcome then." While pouting at you.

- As for spending time with him:

I believe he constantly wants to be alone with you and only with you when he actually has time to do so, so he only wants dates to be one-on-ond most of the time.

There aren't exactly limits upon that, though, like at all.

He's absolutely rich and has ridiculous privileges so you could be on comfy home dates where you two just stay in and cuddle after eating dinner, or seeing concerts/watching movies/etc exclusively where they are not available to just anyone, or something fucking ridiculous like eating a fancy dinner at a custom designed restaurant just for dates under a goddamn aquarium (very likely ngl)

The second he gets to show off his power, he's gonna do it with a smug grin.

- He's also extremely big on physical touch but would never admit it. I already go over this in another entry, but he's gonna have a hand on you at all times (hand on your waist, hip or shoulder, purposely brushing against you more then he logically has to be, etc)

Brief mentions of sexual stuff here

I feel like he'd love someone big on physical touch - both in a sexual way but also especially in a non-sexual way.

He's not used to getting someone cuddling him or holding his hands or literally just touching him at all without some underlying ulterior motive, so he'd probably just melt into your touch.

Also I'll link the post bc there's further takes on this in it but they are ✨️sus✨️

- He would be extremely protective of you- this can absolutely become one of the blue sections really easily- but if you're in a relationship he's gonna be constantly concerned about your safety and whether you are at risk.

I mean, you're in hell. Just about anyone could turn out to be some maniac (ironic he would think that 🤨)

Anyways, point is, you'd be safe from any other maniacs. He would give you the best security and protection probably in hell.

Another thing is that he's gonna be super paranoid at all times about whether you're safe or not. Which would probably get honestly annoying rather than endearing at a point. 💀

- Even though he's really against revealing his more vulnerable parts and what he doesn't think are desirable of himself, he's absolutely craving emotional security with someone.

So when you get him passed that? He's gonna be so goddamn clingy - even more then before lmao.

Ending note

He's an absolute nightmare who's high maintenance asf and could become extremely abusive emotionally, but he really also needs to be romanced properly for that to actually get better by a partner who won't take his bs and knows how to take him down a peg and put him in his place when he's being awful.

And definitely therapy.

The fact that I think all this and know how much an awful person he is and still love him this much as a character has gotta indicate some sort of insanity/j

[ Masterlist ]

#hes really really problematic and just gross for a lot of reasons and i dont see a lot of people really acknowledging that in a lot of stuf #which kinda??? me because i feel like to properly love his character you need to actually acknowledge hes a piece of shit who you would - #avoid like the plague irl. #hes my little chatterbox fr tho <3 #and i dont say that with the intent of dismissing what an asshole he is #he needs the worlds biggest humbling and reality check and power check on EARTH man #ive been writing this forever and im kinda scared i havent been able to portray my thoughts properly but if i dont post this it will prob- #never be posted with my perfectionism 💀 #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #vox headcanons #vox #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader

[itmightrain]

Even tho Kipperlily isn't Kristen or Adaine's class mirror, the reason they hate her does have to do with how similar to her they feel

Like the reason Kristen has hated Kipperlily from day one is because she sees her as her opposite. Kipperlily is visibly On Top Of Her Shit and Type A during a semester where Kristen is feeling so overwhelmed and like such an out of control failure.

And on the otherside I think Adaine hates Kipperlily for being a little too similar to her (in a superficial way, obviously they're very different deep down). I love how in their first meeting Adaine and Kipperlily adopt the exact same passive aggressive 'nice' energy and that just like Kristen, Adaine absolutely hates this girl from the second she sees her

I don't feel like the other bad kids have a most hated ratgrinder yet, but once we find out which of them is primarily responsible for Lucy's death (my guess is Kipperlily), I think that one will become Fig's most hated (since I think her opposite would be someone who uses and betrays their friends), but I'm not sure about the others

#dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #i feel like everyone wants to say that they all have someone they hate deeply to make it all even out but i havent really seen any evidence #of it yet!