Tumgik
#i have a notes doc on my phone where i just write down all the times i notice them being little shits to each other
lunarrolls · 10 months
Text
shoutout to one of my favorite dynamics in the hells: ashton and chetney constantly antagonizing each other as a love language. it is truly the funniest shit. they know that neither of them will take any of it to heart so they just go full asshole mode on each other forever but also they have some of the most genuine moments together, like ashton being the one who knocks chetney out of his superwolf spirit form through addressing him like an equal and later admitting to orym that they care a lot about what happens to chetney specifically. it’s just really fun to watch and see the genuine core of their friendship
300 notes · View notes
coldflasher · 4 months
Text
thinking about how im literally on like. the 8th draft of my novel, but i've still never actually come up with a full, beginning-to-end readable draft without bits missing or repeated scenes or entire chapters in the wrong order
lol
#why the fuck is this how my brain works#i fucking WISH i was one of those people who like. has all their writing beautifully organized in neat little folders#i mean like. in a way i do. i have most of my fics organized by fandom and ship and whether they're in-universe or AU#and then you open the doc and it's just a fucking horrorshow of scenes. most of them are half-finished. none of them are in order#when i need to find a specific scene i literally just think of a word or phrase i used in that scene and CTRL+F it#if nothing shows up after i've tried two or three combinations then i start searching through my notes app to see if i wrote it on my phone#then if i STILL can't find it i look in my emails in case i wrote it at work on the sly and saved it as an email draft#and then if i still can't find it after that i'll have to conclude that i must've written it in my head and forgotten to write it down#the masterdoc for dndb is a fucking MESS. it's even more confusing than the fic itself#cos im so paranoid about losing drafts that every time i rewrite a scene for the 3928283th time#i copy it into the doc AGAIN. so the current word count is 80k but half of it is just me neurotically redrafting the same 3 sentences#i let my friend start reading the garbage draft of my novel and she was like “im so sorry i can't read this it's fucking incomprehensible”#and then she gently pointed out that i'd used the same joke in 3 consecutive chapters and forgotten about it every time....#anyways i have a few chapters that are taking really nice shape but i just KNOW i'll get to a point where i turn the page and suddenly#there'll be another absolutely unhinged mess of tangled word-vomit for me to wrestle into something coherent...
1 note · View note
nogodsnomorales · 11 months
Text
Know that I am going to get pretty serious here, as this post is about Punkflower. I am going to talk about the age situation, the blatant racism ABOUT this ship, and to also talk about the ship itself*. There is also some talk about the shippers/non-shippers + Punkflower antis in general.
[*nothing negative! just like.. discussing it as a whole, because everybody needs to be aware of some important things. the shippers, non-shippers/people on neutral ground, AND the haters/antis.]
There is a BIG wall of text incoming, but all of it is organized to its very best at what I could do!! I first wrote this in docs, I did my best to make it not a whole chaotic mess to read through. It's a big post, but there's a lot of spacing and some text is coloured, so it will be very easy to read.
This is a very detailed and THROUGH post, so it is slightly recommended to read on computer for the best viewing experience.
[It's not needed as you can still just read on your phone/etc, I do want you lovely people to have the best viewing experience possible.]
There will be an expand button, so I will not clog your feed and the tags.
TDLR;
Dear punkflower shippers,
your prayers have been ANSWERED. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT SHIPPING PUNKFLOWER NOW 🙏
punkflower shippers, do not live in fear no more, for I am here now.
Sincerely, 
tumblr user: godunforgiving
Edited Note (06/21); FYI, I am muting this! Read the edit change log at the end of this post for more information. If you have any concerns or inquiries regarding this post, do not hesitate and feel free to DM me!
punkflower talk/analysis(?) + talking about Hobie’s age
This entire post is a discussion of various things, of my own thoughts and opinions! Some of the talk is about the posts + comments I have seen other people say about this ship [mainly questioning and worried ones.] All of the pieces of information that I knew were scattered, so I wanted to gather all of what I could find, and put it in a singular post for those still worrying.
[Also where others can actually just refer to this post and just read thru here first, instead of having to spend a lot of time going through the Punkflower tag to desperately find info!]
I would have gotten this finished and posted days ago, but you know, usual IRL things slowed me down, and I had to spend my day in the ER yesterday, lol.. I’m okay as of now! Just have to take it easy, but I really did want to finish writing my ass off with this post, since I know it’s important to me and for many others out there.
Take your time to read through this, and please absolutely feel free to add any of your input/extra knowledge/anything that I should add onto this post. DMs can be the best, or just through the comments can suffice, because I can and will edit anything into this post [that is accurate aka there is backed up evidence/sources to go along with it.] If you do want to see something added here, just tell me and I'll see if I can manage!
I genuinely hope that this post can be helpful to you, as it will be helpful for me!
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
Please know that; I will directly quote from many people, as all of them will be credited properly by being mentioned down below and leaving their username (that is linked back) with their respective quotes, because their own pieces of text really helped build this post! I cannot thank each person enough.
Do not be a piece of shit and go after or ‘witch hunt’ any of them. Respect their own privacy and being.
users mentioned (IOOA): @comfortingnightmare, @luvvnobo, @ghostspider-isms, @saltylemonade13, @artisan-is-bored, @bellamer, @uglynavel, @peachypea0ny (fyi, site is not allowing me to tag), @crownecromancer, @raspberryjars, @spideyzpoolsp, @hamiltonforpowerpoint
[If you are one of the mentioned people, and you want yourself to be removed or become anonymous, please let me know ASAP!]
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
Notes:
If you are colourblind (some of the text is coloured fyi! colours used are blue, pink, and purple), or have difficulty reading text due to it being too small, or can't read the font, etc, please let me know! I can give you a google docs link of this entire post that is best suited for your needs. No, you will not be a burden to me. Your needs are very important, and I will want to assist with the best that I can do with that!
I, godunforgiving, am on a mix of a positive + neutral ground on the topic of shipping Punkflower. I absolutely adore the comic!Punkflower, and I am fond of ATSV!Punkflower with the way I view it. Reason why I said neutral, know that I am not against the ships by any means!! But I guess why I say that is because there wasn’t a lot of canon media to consume [ATSV!Punkflower], and I want more [Also note that I have NOT seen the movie yet.] I don’t usually ‘do’ shipping when it comes to various franchises, I guess it’s mainly just not my thing? But I do know that I’ve come to like Punkflower.
I do not ‘do’ discourses, nor do I intend to actively join them! This is my first time doing something like this / this being my first ‘discourse’, yet I hope for it to be my last. I made this post with the pure intention to help the Punkflower shippers. Do know that!! I know that many people do not like the topic of discourses, but this one and the problems I’ve seen revolving around Punkflower, I just have to say something. Bc idk if anybody else is going to [with the way I did this post], considering the mess that occurred days ago, but someone has to and has to do it properly.
I am autistic, so I may process words + information differently, or even ‘incorrectly’. So if a sentence doesn’t make sense, due to perhaps my misuse of grammar, etc, please do not hesitate to ask/reach out, and I can do my best to re-explain it to you.
Negative comments [and comments directly to this post where the person is actually spreading misinfo], will be deleted. Know that if you decide that you disagree with this post, then okay! I am not bothering you, just as I hope that you will revert to ignoring me, instead of hating on me. Please have the common decency to just be kind or even don’t say anything at all, and carry on with your day.
If you have any concerns regarding this post, do not hesitate to reach out to me.
this post was originally inspired by a friend, then originally created for @feuille-morte, but it is finished for the rest of the punkflower fans, ily all. take care of yourselves!! anything for these cute silly little guys ok (and the entire punkflower nation)
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
let’s get started with an introduction.
“what is Punkflower?”
Punkflower is a slash [aka queer] relationship between two black male teenagers, Hobie Brown and Miles Morales. Usually, it is perceived a romantic relationship, as some other people only see the pairing as a platonic duo and such. I do not know more forms of Punkflower, but I will use the 'main' two forms in this post. Comic![SG!]Punkflower [SG is Spider-Geddon, a comic series first released on Sept 2018], and Across the Spider-Verse aka ATSV!Punkflower.
Think of it as the same ships with the same characters, but in different fonts.
Comic!SG!Punkflower has existed for nearly 5 years now, likely first existing sometime in late 2018 to early-mid 2019. Both Miles and Hobie are very close in age in the comics, at around 16 to 17 years old. Away from Spider-Geddon(?), but still on the topic of comics, Hobie is still 16-17 in the comics.
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
“people are saying Punkflower is a problematic ship!”
The main [and probably only] source of this misinformation, is from a clip that was cropped to be posted with the intention of spreading heavy misinformation (We will get into that next.) So, as far as I am aware, and know; Punkflower antis are throwing around p/do allegations, because they hate the ship and they are outraged with people enjoying it. This hate is clearly rooted with racism, and homophobia. So, no, Punkflower is not a minor x adult ship!
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
“the interview talk, what happened, and what is actually real?”
If you’ve watched the interview, you can easily see that they were talking about the brainstorming process of developing Hobie's early ideas for his character. A director mentioned that in the early concept stage, Hobie was originally going to be 19-20 [This wasn’t even our Hobie, but Prowler Hobie.]
A person cut a very small clip of the mentioned interview, and uploaded it, a clip that was EXTREMELY out of context. 
The uploader cut out the part explaining that Hobie’s ‘original’ age had changed as his character was being developed.
So from this, and no context given, a lot of people were instantly quick to hate; since it was on purpose to make the entire ship, AND those who enjoyed the ship, look extremely bad. What happened was not okay, yet this disgusting behaviour is at an attempt to be justified [and those people are trying to justify literal racism and homophobia.]
“19-20 thing that the directors mentioned were Hobie’s early designs ideas but those eventually changed as his character changed. Even one of the directors said its up to interpretation plus even his VA was all hinty towards Gwen and hobie so honestly its up to you what his age is" - comfortingnightmare
Tumblr media
As soon as the clip came out, I had started to see a number of people saying that, apparently, Hobie looked like he was in his 20s to his 30s** (while also throwing subtle/discreet hits towards the Punkflower ship), but this was after the clip came out.
**Literally saw someone on Tumblr say that he looked like 28, and trying to shut down the idea of Hobie being a teenager. Like be completely serious with me right now..
Things don’t quite add up here. This was because of WHAT Hobie only looked like, and now it just has to be racially motivated, as there are no solid explanations or reasonings for their behaviour and disgust. Those people just look bad [as they should.]
So, no, Hobie is not 19-20. Another director had confirmed that Hobie’s age is UP TO INTERPRETATION.
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
[TLDR; The interview got taken completely out of context from a clip that made people start throwing SERIOUS accusations left and right.. Since more people actually later found out that the clip was taken out of context [instead of doing research], the situation died down, but people are walking on eggshells now. The haters were being desperate likely because Punkflower is a black queer/mlm relationship, since there is no solid explanation for this hating.]
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
“So.. what can we interpret Hobie’s age as?”
That is where I come in! I have many reasons that can help you decide what Hobie's age is to you. And those many reasons are speculated on Hobie's age being 16-17, as many users already guess that Hobie's age is equivalent to a teenager's age. I also believe this idea, as there are many things that already support this thought process.
[But if you like.. (god, I hope nobody does) go through this list and conclude that Hobie is 18+ and continue to ship that Hobie and 15 yr old Miles (or any of the minors).. GTFOH.]
1. Hobie Brown in other media (I’m talking about the comics for instance) is commonly shown for Hobie to be a teenager at either 16 or 17 years old.
“Hobie is in fact labeled as ‘badmouthed teenager’ since 2014 and is 16-17 in the comics and that just because he doesnt have a confirmed/canonical age in ATSV, hes still in the age range of a teenager (16-18)" - luvvnobo
2. Topic of the spider-bite. 
ATSV!Hobie is likely to be 16-17 years old (18 at the latest), meaning that he would have been bit at the ages of 13-15. So IF Hobie was bit 3 years ago / at 14 years old, then he would be 16-17.
Realistically, this really could have happened, considering Hobie’s living conditions! [aka what led to Hobie getting bit by a radioactive spider in the comics.] If he indeed gets bit at 14 years old (like how Miles and Gwen got bit at that age for example), then either 16 or 17 yrs old.
Again, with how he lived; if he got bit at 13 = 15-16 years old in crrnt events of ATSV. [If you don’t know of Hobie’s conditions, in the comics I’m pretty sure he, like, basically lived on the streets as a homeless teenager]
“During the "Spider-Verse" storyline, the Earth-138 version of Spider-Man is revealed to be Hobart Brown, originally operating as Spider-Punk. He is a homeless teenager who was transformed by a spider that was irradiated as part of President Norman Osborn's toxic waste dumping.” - Spider-Punk: Wikipedia
The topic of the bite / needing to know if Hobie was (x) age when he got bit, isn’t very serious, as he is already grouped with 3 kids.
3. It would be unlikely (and also weird) for a four man crew to be 3/4 teenagers and 1 adult;
WHILE ALSO implying that the mentioned ‘adult’ and one of the mentioned teenagers could’ve had something going on. [Even if nothing really happened (keyword = implying), and how Pavitr treated it in that way, implies that Hobie isn’t that much older than the three.] [I would have kept this reason combined with the Spider bite topic aka reason No.2, since it’s actually referenced off of pastelnightgale’s post, just that this paragraph alone is solid enough as a separate reason.]
4. Hobie’s mannerisms.
Note, I haven’t seen the movie, but I have seen many clips. From those clips, he’s definitely a teenager at least, it made me feel like Hobie was 16 or 17 years old. I’ve asked two of my brothers; they said that he definitely was their age [both being 17.]
“my two cents on the age debate is like. hobie doesn’t have the vibes of an adult even if his age is up to “interpretation”. like i’m eighteen and bro has definitely gotta be younger than that. he makes my “stupid younger sibling” sense go haywire." - ghostspider-isms
5. If you look up “how old is hobie brown”
You will already see many people speculating that Hobie is likely to be around the same age range as Miles and Gwen [if not a bit older.]
Tumblr media
Again, Hobie is already 16-17 years old in the comics. 
“in the spiderverse, we have seen that it is common for most spiders (gwen and miles specifically) to get bitten around 14. hobie states he’s been spider-man for three years, meaning he’s most likely 16-17." - artisan-is-bored
6. “Like if Hobie is really 19+ then why is it only a problem with Punkflower?? Wouldn’t the whole love triangle thing be a problem????" - saltylemonade13
Yes. It would be a SERIOUS problem. It also would make the other ships [Chaipunk, others with minors in them] very problematic and illegal ships. But Hobie isn't 18+.
7. Ageing down process happening to various characters in Spider Verse, and Hobie non affected?
If Gwen and the other spiders are aged down in Spiderverse, then it doesn’t make sense that Hobie was not aged down like the others.
8. Hobie literally hangs out around teenagers.
If an adult is constantly hanging out with other children, then that obviously would be the first problem. I wouldn’t really need to keep talking any more about this one. Because if a 19-20 year old was spending a majority of his time around young teenagers, ages ranging 15 through 17, and not really with anybody else his age or above, then yes, that’s already weird.
“it’s also implied that miles is jealous of gwen and hobie. why would the directors make a key plot point of the story be that hobie is a grown ass man hanging out with a bunch of teenagers? and that he might have a thing with one of them???" - artisan-is-bored
9. Genetics do not matter within age.
This is one of my most common quotes by now. Hobie is indeed very tall at almost 6 ft, yes. No, it does not mean that he is above 18+ years old. Hobie can be over 6 ft tall and still be 16-17 years old.
I have seen so many teenagers at drastically different heights, but still be the same age. Many of them being over 6 ft [180 cm], and still being in my age range, and having met a 5’10” 8th grader [aka 13 yrs old] years ago. Both of my previously-mentioned brothers are 6 ft and over 6 ft, yet they are only 17.
“people can look one age and be another." - artisan-is-bored
“hobie’s description as a character. hobie is a foul mouthed TEENAGER. that has been his description for the past five years." - artisan-is-bored
10. “how do i tell them Punkflower has been a thing since 2018 or 2019 and they have interacted in the comics (they are close in age)" - luvvnobo
11. “He has to be an adult, because he goes to pubs!!” Let’s be absolutely HONEST here.
“dude is BFF’s with the Riri of his universe, she can probably whip up a fake ID in no time and even if Riri isn’t in the Spiderverse, he still gets around and knows people. he’s definitely cool with someone who makes fake ID’s." - bellamer
What bellamer said. To add onto this, a pub is different from a BAR as well.
If you look up “what is a pub vs bar” your first result will be this.
Tumblr media
To also add, all bars in England aren’t considered pubs.
“If you’re 16 or under, you may be able to go to a pub (or premises primarily used to sell alcohol) if you’re accompanied by an adult. However, this isn’t always the case. It can also depend on the specific conditions for that premises. It’s illegal to give alcohol to children under 5." From the official GOV of the UK website
But literally, let’s be honest here, Hobie would already know at least one person who will help him get in a pub, if he cannot do so himself. If Hobie is constantly going to pubs, then that does not mean he is getting drinks 24/7 when he is there, unless stated otherwise. Pubs focus on serving food and to give drinks [upon request] to go along with the meal.
Before 1995, children under the age of 14 were NOT allowed in pubs in England and Wales. And Hobie is definitely by no means 14. He is likely 16, or 17. He can already drink, with adult supervision, at 16 in pubs. But we know that Hobie is no law-abiding Spider-man.
12. “Hobie wouldn’t be able to own his own place!”
“it’s a key part of hobie’s comic backstory that he used to be homeless. once again, the breaking the law point still stands. wouldn’t be surprised if hobie bought an apartment with a fake ID, was squatting, or was staying in some sort equivalent of the community center that he used as his main group’s operation headquarters in the comics.” - artisan-is-bored
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
I do not think that another director/anybody who worked on the movie will come out and say that Hobie is actually 18+ at this point. I CAN be wrong in the future, but right now, he is not, and there are my reasons for why I strongly agree with the idea of Hobie being a teenager.
ALTHOUGH, even IF a director comes out and says that ATSV!Hobie is actually 18+, obviously all of the ATSV!ships with him and the other minors should STOP RIGHT NOW. But as of now [06/13/23 (when I first wrote this)], and from what we already know, I do not see anything wrong with ATSV!Punkflower and my views.
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
The racism revolving Punkflower is disgusting.
I’ve seen a lot of people bashing Punkflower when the whole misinfo-hobie-being-19/20-situation occurred, but ONLY with Punkflower [from what I’ve seen.] I didn’t see any of this happening to the other ships that Hobie is in / shipped with Gwen, and Pavitr.
I have not seen any, quite literally nobody, complaining about any other ship that isn’t Punkflower, and it’s insanely overwhelming and confusing?? People don’t complain when it comes to Hobie x Gwen, but if it’s with two queer black boys? Huge problem all of a sudden.
“Love how when it was Hobie and Gwen no one batted an eye but as soon as people started shipping two black males together all of a sudden everyone’s disgusted and outraged” - uglynavel
“none of y’all had a problem w gwen and hobie, but when hobie started getting shipped with miles and pav? y’all got pissed. get your racist and homophobic head out of your ass. even if hobie IS an adult in the movie, that still doesn’t mean that shipping him with miles in the comics suddenly isn’t valid. newsflash, gwen is MUCH OLDER than hobie in his universe.” - artisan-is-bored
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
Other quotes, that I wanted to point out, but I didn’t sort them into a spot;
“There are a lot more weird problems in the ATSV fandom, yet people are worried about Flowerpunk and whether Hobie is of age, or not. Those problems are full on grown ass people sexualizing Miles, Gwen, and likely more. There’s already stuff about Peter B. and Miles ship, and THAT is an active problem on hand. More people need to worry about all of that instead of a guy who has an up-to-interpretation age (but is strongly, likely, a 16-17 year old if not an adult.)” - peachypea0ny
“I can’t even enjoy comic versions of punkflower without me being called a pedo or having multiple fucking comments telling me over and over that punkflower is a proship.” - uglynavel
“I’m sorry it’s just really not fucking fair what In THE ACTUAL MOVIE it can imply something between Gwen and Hobie but the SECOND people started shipping two black boys together then it became a huge fucking problem, here’s the thing if Hobie is actually older and they never say that in the movie but imply something to the audience that him and a sixteen year old girl could possibly have something between them THEN THATS GROSS I DONT CARE HOW GOOD THE MOVIE IS! But Hobie is always, in other crossovers and his comics he is around 16, he has met Miles before in canon the ship’s not new, it was just small.” - crownecromancer (Edited to make sense, by me, godunforgiving.)
“punkflower is originally a comic ship, its been around for ages before atsv, its normal for shippers to crossover into different areas where the same characters are. he doesnt have an age on his wiki and why would he be said to have a love triangle with gwen if he WAS 19/20, idk why ppl have such a problem with punkflower but not with hobie and gwen??” - raspberryjars
“this is what happens when you believe in misinformation on the internet. no, there is no age gap, because hobie does not even have a canon age. if you watch the interview, instead of 10 seconds of it, he says it was early concepts of hobie. another director has confirmed his age is up to interpretation.. so. yall rlly need to stop with this, its weird asl. this whole thing was rooted in racism and homophobia, stop spreading misinformation I BEG.” - spideyzpoolsp
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
Another disclaimer/notice;
PLEASE, PLEASE STOP BELIEVING IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU SEE!! EVEN IN TIKTOK OR TUMBLR!
IF it’s a piece of information that could be misinformation revolving around Punkflower or Hobie Brown, or anything, DO find out if it is real or fake asap!
I’m using a method that I remember from my elementary school that was constantly talked about [can’t believe I’d bring it up in a post about a ship years later], however it really does pay out and work anywhere else tbh. The “Stop, Think, Act method”.
STOP = Pause, if it distresses you; then take a breath to calm down, avoid doing anything on impulse aka don't do anything without thinking carefully beforehand.
THINK = Instead of the “what is the problem, what are the options, best path forward?” in the method itself, we will reuse this but change stuff up that can apply directly to this post. So after stopping and calming down, we will think carefully and review what we already KNOW. If it’s where the piece of information is easily seen/known as misinfo, then you are good. If the piece of misinfo is affecting something that we already know, then we move onto the next step.
ACT = “Proceed with the best option. Act carefully, and revise if needed.” The best option forward from thinking, is to do research, and make sure that it is actually real, and not misinformation with lies laced within. IF it is indeed misinformation, then it is the best to alert others, with proof.
If you are thinking “But why even mention that method??” The best example to use this method is with the age discourse blowup. A LOT of people believed in the misinformation very, very fast. What should’ve happened is that the mentioned method should’ve occurred early, to help prevent most of the freak out and its damages. But many users may not have thought of that, or even know the method, so it is okay. At least it calmed down a lot as of now, just that people are now likely afraid.
[Note; I am NOT blaming anybody!! I also freaked out a bit too, but I stuck to what I already knew, until I found more information. At first I heard “Hobie is 19-20!!!!” I figured that it must’ve been misinfo through what I already knew, because adding all of what I knew and this uproar of info, it just didn’t add up from what I alrd knew. but I still researched and did my homework!! Just that more people should naturally second-guess things that they are suspicious of and also be aware of that method and to apply it online, as it is already useful in real life!]
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
Wrapping this post up, finally.
It’s sad to see different Punkflower fans fight each other. But it’s also outrageous and annoying to see the plat!Punkflower shippers, who see Miles and Hobie strictly in a brotherly relationship, to throw the term ‘!ncest / pseudo-!ncest’ against the romantical Punkflower shippers.. Like holy shit, that doesn’t make you any better. Can people, please, stop throwing serious accusations against other people so nonchalantly?
These accusations are SO serious and life changing, even if it's pointed at the wrong person. But people are just too ignorant to realize that unfortunately.
“You see him (Hobie) as 19/20 who’s a big brother to the other spiders? Cool! You see him as 16/17 rebel teen amazing!” - hamiltonforpowerpoint
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
End post.
Reblogs, likes, and comments of your own opinions of this post are so welcome!
Again, ily all and take care of yourselves!!
and again, if anything you think that should be added onto the post, let me know! have a great day everybody
A friend asked what’s up with the discourse, asked me to make a post, after hours of research - I absolutely fucking DELIVERED. Love you guys.
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------—
Edit #1 (06/15); had to reformat some things since it just looked broken to me! Using the editor on mobile is a PAIN.. 0/10.
Edit #2 (06/16); an edit update! I rewrote some things (to hope to make the post sound more better), added some stuff in the notes section and some throughout the post itself, updated the crediting so the quotes used are credited and linked back to hell!!!! bc crediting others is awesome! and the post is also def over 4.2k words lol
Edit #3 (06/17); An anon told me that I was “misusing” the 'proship' term, so I edited the post. Proshitters can go to hell for all I care. To clarify, I am talking about problematic shippers. Edit #4 (06/19); oh my god 600+ notes?? i hope all of you are having an EXCELLENT month okay.. i love you guys <3 /plat
Edit #5 (06/21); I am muting this! I saw some people reply to this post, but I just do not have the ability to respond to them (Selective mutism), I did write “drafts” to them, but I do not feel like polishing it and responding. Just busy with other things, honestly! I may end up responding some time later, so yeah. If you have any concerns or inquiries regarding this post, do not hesitate and feel free to DM me!
Every once a few weeks I may check up on this post as well, until I stop altogether.
2K notes · View notes
juletheghoul · 26 days
Text
Castaways (Part 1)
Tumblr media
AN: Before I get into the notes for this - I want to say a quick thank you to everyone who took the time to send me a message / comment on my post, it meant a lot to me. 💜💜💜 As for this story, I started writing it in Sept of 2022, after watching the Harrison Ford movie, Six Days, Seven Nights lol. I had a lot of it down pretty quickly but eventually, I stopped. Now that new ideas aren't as bountiful as they once were, I started combing through all of the half-finished works in my docs and I fell back in love with this one. Hopefully you enjoy it. I have an ending planned out so there will definitely be a part 2! Shout out to @wheresarizona for betaing and just general wonderfulness, to @just-here-for-the-moment for screaming at me through comments in this doc. Enjoy xox. 
Pairing; Frankie Morales x f!reader (Princess as a nickname)
Warnings;  C o m p e t e n c y - a very brief snake…encounter?-piv sex (wrap it up), swearing, dirty talk, Frankie eats pussy with gusto (when doesn't he), creampie, longing, yearning, a helicopter crash (nothing too graphic), reader is spoiled at first and generally kind of snobby- enemies to lovers? Bit of a slow burn! let me know if I missed anything.
Word count; 13k 😅
reblogs are appreciated
Masterlist
Tumblr media
The click of your heels sounded throughout the airy hangar with a purpose, the echoing sound of it heralding your journey to give someone—anyone hell. 
A quick flick of your wrist reminds you how late you already were for the retreat booked in your private slice of paradise; the private jet your father paid a fortune for had made an emergency stop in Puerto Rico- some nonsense about a storm. 
Unacceptable. 
An imperious sigh leaves your mouth -not a single person to lay into anywhere in sight, and it leaves you no choice but to head outside to see if there is a plane you could commandeer. 
He wipes the grease onto the legs of his well-worn work coveralls, his previous scowl gone and replaced with a triumphant smile - finally got that fucking bolt off-
“Excuse me-” He turns toward the sound and is greeted by a very annoyed-looking woman. “Hi, do you know where I can find a pilot? There’s no one in the hangar.” She drags a very expensive-looking suitcase behind her with one hand, the other holding a ridiculously large hat onto her head. 
“Hi, yes I’m a pilot - most of the staff have gone home, a big storm coming soon-”
“Perfect, can I hire you to fly me to this island?” Her fingers flew across the no-doubt latest model of smartphone in her hands - ignoring the shocked expression on his face at being so rudely interrupted. “This one here, I need to be there like three hours ago, and I would be there now if we hadn’t stopped here - you know where this is, right? Can you take me?” She all but shoves the phone into his face. 
“No.” He carefully moves her manicured hand away from his face, and a tiny, cruel little part of him enjoys the shock in her expression - he very quickly gets the impression that this girl is not used to hearing the word. “As I was saying - everyone has gone home, a lot of people were grounded here, myself included. There is a big thunderstorm coming. Not safe to fly until it passes. Shouldn’t last too long - a quick squall - come back tomorrow, and I’ll happily fly you there.” He then turns to continue his work. 
“Money is no object, but I need to leave now,” she says it through a huffed breath, and his eyebrows raise. 
“And yet, my answer is still no.” He’s annoyed now. In truth, it was a fairly quick flight - he knew the island she’d shown him, had made the trip before, and it would be less than an hour, but her attitude was a black mark against her. Her phone trills then, a cheery tone, momentarily snatching her attention from him. 
“Hi, Dad, yeah, I know. I’m at the hangar, looking for a ride.” She taps her foot, and it sets his teeth on edge. “There is a pilot here, but he says he won’t fly me.” She narrows her eyes at him when he turns to look at her, listening to the other half of the conversation he wasn’t privy to. “I’ll tell him- Sorry-” She inspects his name tag, “Francisco, my father says if you get me to the island within the hour, he’ll make it worth your while. Name your price.” 
“I don’t know what part of it isn’t safe isn’t registering-” She raises her voice and speaks over him. 
“He’ll pay you ten thousand dollars.” Her tone is loud but bored. “Besides - the skies are gorgeous - I’m sure we can make it before anything happens.” She waits a moment, “Plus another five grand when you land. And you can have accommodations until tomorrow - room service, the works. Just please - get me there.” Her eyes are hopeful, and for a brief moment, he acknowledges how pretty she is, or - would be, if she wasn’t such an insufferable princess.
He knew he should have said no. Knew he should have turned her down and followed the guidelines, but that kind of money would change his life. Change their lives- it would have been insane for him to turn it down. 
“Fine.” He relents, shoving down the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. “I’ll be your pilot. We’ll be out of here in ten minutes.” She almost jumps with joy, and he can’t hide the annoyed expression on his face.
“Done - okay, I’ll be there soon, Dad! Bye.”  
-
He was covered in grease. 
You had to remind yourself not to wrinkle your nose at him. You supposed he could be handsome, in a scruffy, working man way, but that's beside the point. He was your saving grace right now, and that counted for a lot.
He fiddles with the engine of the helicopter for a moment more while he leaves you to wrestle your suitcase in by yourself, thankfully without breaking a nail. 
“Alright - just going to perform a couple of checks, and we’ll be in the air.” He got in and began flicking switches, turning knobs, and checking over all manner of gauges while you made yourself as comfortable as was possible in the cramped little aircraft. It was hard, though, with your suitcase practically digging into your back behind you. 
It’s fine. I’ll just have to get a massage once I land.
“Okay, we’re off.” He has his headset on, and you are in the air within a few moments. That, unfortunately, seemed to be the end of your good luck. 
Whether by some cruel design, by the fates or gods, or whatever entity dictated the events of your life - it didn’t take twenty minutes in the air for the sky to turn a foreboding gray. 
“That doesn’t look good,” he says, the words loud enough to be heard over the noise, his eyes quickly scanning the horizon, no doubt taking in the dark clouds flanking either side of the already rickety helicopter. 
“It came out of nowhere.” One minute, the sky was blue, and the next, lightning forked the sky in the distance. 
“No, it didn’t - I told you a storm was coming. This is too dangerous - I’m going to have to turn around for our safety.” He maneuvers the controls, and you have no choice but to agree despite your annoyance.
It all happened so fast. 
Something strikes the aircraft, the sound of it booming in your ears so loud it hurts, and then he’s frantic. Manically pressing buttons and calling through the radio, but from the frustrated and frankly terrified expression, no one is answering. 
“Fuck, tighten your seatbelt, we’re going down!” He grits his teeth, and all of a sudden, you are spinning, a scream being ripped from your throat - your heart falling out of your ass. “Impact coming - brace yourself!” he screams before the world goes black. 
-
Someone is making noise, a low groaning noise that pulls him out from the depths of unconsciousness, he’s only mildly surprised to realize it is him.
The helicopter - his helicopter wasn’t making any noise, which was bad. 
Under normal circumstances, it would be broadcasting out a signal beacon that would bring in a rescue team, but as it stood right now - without blinking lights or a working radio - it had gone completely silent. 
Lighting must have fried it. Fuck.
He took stock of his situation. Luckily, he doesn’t feel any injuries aside from horrible whiplash. No blood, no broken bones. A softer groan comes from the woman beside him; she’s still out, and he couldn’t see any injuries- he’d know when she woke up. 
I could kill you right now.
He thought the words, sighing loudly to himself before finding a way out of the cockpit. He’d managed to move most of what he had in the helicopter out onto the sand by the time she woke. 
“Jesus Christ - what the hell happened?” She stumbles out, barely managing to stop herself from eating shit in the process, unfortunately.
“What happened is the storm I warned you about many times caught us in the air and grounded us here.” He’s laying out his supplies, lengths of rope, his toolbox, and empty water jugs. He has a small case with a flare gun, an emergency kit filled with first aid supplies, and a massive tarp. There are a few more things to go through, but it is important they find a source of freshwater soon, or they won’t last two days, especially with the heat making his clothes stick to his body.
She sighs loudly, struggling to make her way through the sand in those ridiculous heels she’s wearing
“And now we’re stuck here, on an island when, where I should be, is home with my-“ 
“Can’t you call mayday or something? My father is expecting me. I’m sure he’ll have an army looking for us.” She’s digging through her purse frantically, ignoring the scathing look he’s giving her.
Spoiled little brat, you only care about yourself, huh?
“Wow. You know what? That’s a great idea! Why the hell didn’t I think of that?” He can’t hold back. “Oh! I know, it’s because we were struck by lightning, and it fried everything, so whatever army your father sends won’t find us -there is no signal to hone in on.” He scowls at her, annoyed that she isn’t paying attention to him even now. “Doesn’t help that a lot of these islands that are usually full of tourists are uninhabited after the hurricane that hit a few months ago.”
“So we’re stuck here???” Her eyes are wild as they look past him, to the beach just beyond, and then to the thick greenery behind them. “This cannot be happening right now,” she spoke to herself. 
“Where the fuck is my phone??” She moves and makes her way back into the cockpit, all but ripping the aircraft apart before- “Fuck! You have got to be fucking kidding me! Don’t you have some kind of satellite phone or something??” She’s tapping at the deeply damaged screen, it completely destroyed. 
He couldn’t help but bark out cruel laughter. 
“I don’t know what planet you’re on. People - regular people don’t just have satellite phones, sweetheart.” He got up from his place in the sand, making sure to put the flares back in the helicopter.
“Great. Just great.” She sighs loudly, “So we’re stuck here. Do you even know where here is?” She fishes into her bag once more, pulling out a bottle of what looks to be sunscreen, and squeezing out some to spread over her exposed skin. 
“No. I don’t, but the heat is going to kill us if we don’t find water soon. Grab one of those jugs, and let’s go find water. You might want to change your shoes.” He pushes her suitcase at her, ignoring the shocked look on her face. “Chop chop, princess, let’s move.” 
-
This couldn’t be happening, this could not be happening!
Right now, you should have been mingling with Louis, the gorgeous, billionaire bachelor your father invited to your private resort. You could almost picture it, the classy yet sexy outfit you’d be wearing while you flirted over a drink by the infinity pool. Broadening your horizons and nailing down the rich husband you deserve.
Instead, you’re here - stuck in the sand with the world's grumpiest pilot, trying desperately to get your phone to work, but it’s no use. 
You can almost see the frantic look on your mother's face now that it was obvious that you hadn’t made it at the scheduled time, she and your father were probably coordinating with the military right this second, with the Navy.
What the fuck am I going to do-
The jug hits your lap, scaring you half to death.
“Come on, princess, let’s get moving. We have to find fresh water before we die of dehydration out here.” He’s standing a few feet away, staring at you with his perpetual scowl. “Change your shoes, and let’s go.”
“What’s wrong with my shoes?” They were pretty sensible as far as your sandals went, respectable heels, and relatively comfortable. His scowl deepens.
“You cannot stumble around the island in those, you’ll break an ankle, and I am not fucking dealing with that.” His eyes narrow. “Tell me you brought a pair of runners in that giant trunk.”
“Of course I did,” your tone is icy as you get up with a huff. You quickly changed into them, and then you were off. 
The terrain got more and more treacherous the further you got from the powdery white sand of the beach. Dirt and bramble gave way to thick, almost jungle-like vegetation, making the trek harder and harder as time slogged by. 
The sound of running water greets the two of you like a siren song, spurring your tired, sweat-soaked body to move quicker, and the sight that meets you once you break the dense treeline could've made you moan. You jump into the water to cool your heated skin, ignoring the warning from Francisco. 
“You should get out of there.” He’s at the edge of the clearish water, filling the jugs quickly.
He seems to be determined to infuse his sour attitude into everything, your mouth opened to tell him to relax when something brushes past your leg. At first, you think it might be a piece of underwater flora, but it becomes apparent very quickly that it’s something far worse. 
“Francisco.” His eyes met yours, “Francisco, something just swam into my shorts, I-I think it’s a snake.” Your voice trembles slightly, hands itching to pull whatever it was out, but his voice cuts through the urge.
“Don’t move- are you sure it’s a snake?” He put the jugs down beside him, moving closer to you, descending slowly into the water.
“Yes, It’s coiling around my thigh, moving up - I need it out right now, I wanna just grab it-“ Your head tilts down, but he stops you.
“Don’t move! It could be venomous.” He wades into the water towards you slowly, too slowly. Your heart’s racing, hands shaking as you wait for him to reach you.
“Help me, get it out, get it out!” your voice is almost manic, desperation colouring every single inch of you. 
“Okay, okay, calm - deep breath.” You followed his example as best you could, trying yet failing to ignore the slithering against your skin. “Slowly pull your waistband away from your body, and I’ll see if I can grab it,” his tone had lowered, a soothing timbre reminding you for a moment of how a teacher would speak to a student. 
It helps.
You did as he asked, pulling at the waistband of your shorts, all thoughts of propriety forgotten, and within a moment, his hand was shoved down deep - a rather large hand fighting with whatever it was that had made camp in your pants. 
He bit his lip in concentration, bodily pulling you towards him as he struggled. A moment later, he was raising it up triumphantly.
A huge shiver went down your spine at the sight of it, spurring you to get out of the water as fast as humanly possible. 
“Jesus Christ, it’s just one fucking thing after another,” you spoke as you made it out without incident, ignoring the huge sigh he let out behind you. “Thank you for that.” He was following closely behind you, not interested, it seemed, in having a similar experience.
“Don’t mention it. Let's fill these and get back to the beach.” He hands you a couple of empty jugs, and you reluctantly got to work.
-
All things considered, they were lucky. Frankie knew that. His helicopter - albeit small - was surprisingly well-equipped to handle being stranded. He had an emergency survival kit, purchased partly under the insistence of his mother but mostly so he never had to relive what had happened to him a few years ago. He’d tried not to think about it, but walking through the foliage back to the crash site had brought it all back. Vividly. 
He pushed it away, shoved it down deep where he kept the rest of his issues - instead choosing to focus on what they needed to do. They needed some form of shelter, and soon. 
“I am sweltering,” her voice was low behind him, whiny with the distinct tone of someone who had never truly been uncomfortable a day in her life. “Fucking starving.” 
“Most likely, you’re dehydrated. Once we get back to the beach, we can figure out the water,” he spoke over his shoulder. “Have to make camp if we’re going to be here for a while.” They broke through the treeline, seeing his helicopter on the beach like a pile of old bones broke his heart a little - his only connection to home, to his little girl. He pushes it all away again. 
“So how do we get this water drinkable?” she huffs out the words, dropping the jugs next to his laid-out supplies with great effort. 
“We have to set up a purifying system, filter it, and then boil it.” He crouches down towards his supplies, looking for something clean he could use as a sieve. Luckily, he always kept an overnight bag with him, in case of being grounded somewhere, but he only had three shirts in there, he couldn’t burn one since he didn’t know exactly how long they’d be stuck there. 
“I don’t have much in terms of clothes - you got anything we could use?” He looks up at her, “Something simple, a cotton t-shirt? Something we could use to strain the water.” He walks towards her trunk, waiting for her to open it up. 
She opens it reluctantly, rifling through her things for a moment before handing over a simple white shirt. “Any chance I’ll be able to wear that again?” her voice is vaguely annoyed. 
“I’m sure Daddy won’t mind buying you a new one.” She gives him an expression that could curdle milk. He ignores it. Instead, he busies himself, setting the jugs of water somewhere relatively level. He felt her eyes on him, and it compelled him to explain what he did as he worked. “We have to let the water settle for about an hour, let the sediment sink to the bottom, then strain it, then boil it.” Not for the first time in his life, he was happy to have his military gear within reach. 
-
He works fast - you have to give him that. 
As much as he grumbles and looks at you like you are the devil incarnate - you couldn’t deny that he was incredibly intelligent. Within a few hours of getting back to the camp, he had built an impressive fire, filtered the jugs of water, and had boiled most of it. 
“Tomorrow, we’ll get to work building some sort of shelter,” he spoke after he finally sat down, the first break he’d taken all day. “Have to go about looking for food too, I saw some fruit trees - we’ll grab them on the way back from getting more water.” His eyes are heavy, you can see it in the way he blinked slower and slower. 
“We have to make that trek again?” your voice is shrill, he sighs loudly. 
“We’ll have to make that trek every single day until we’re rescued. Water is the most important thing. No delivery service here, princess,” his voice is sleepy, the usual bite in his words softened by the need for sleep. 
“How will anyone find us?” The worry is evident in your voice.
“I have a flare gun and three flares - we’ll be able to signal someone. Go to bed, we have a lot of work to do tomorrow.” He gestures to the helicopter–lovely, this will be comfortable. 
The knock on the helicopter window ripped you out of sleep, your heart racing as you clutched at your chest. 
“Wake up, princess.” He taps on the glass and through bleary eyes, you take note of the smile on his face as he wakes you up, “We have work to do.” He taps one last time and then leaves you. 
You flash him the middle finger as he turns and laughs, annoying you even more.
You join him on the beach a little later, ignoring the ache in your body from sleeping in a half seated position. God I really need that massage.
“I’m going to make the trek for more water, while I do that you are going to gather palm fronds.” He had a jug in his hand as he moved towards the treeline. For a moment you panicked, the thought of being alone causing your heart to sink. 
“Wait, you’re leaving me alone?” You moved a few steps towards him, catching yourself before making it to him. “I mean–um,” You raised your chin at the surprised look on his face, ignoring it. “How many fronds?” There was an abundance of them, both on the ground and in the trees just beyond the sand. He paused, giving you a curious look. 
“As many as you can, we’ll need way more than you think.” He turned then, and left you to it. 
Time crawled by while you were alone, with only your thoughts and the sound of waves to accompany you. Sweat dripped down your brow as you gathered, gathered and gathered some more. Enough fronds that it made a huge pile beside the fire pit Francisco had made. Your stomach growling almost constantly now–the hunger so intense it was making you light headed. 
Branches snapped, drawing your gaze towards his form. He had the jug in one hand and a stalk of bananas in the other. It was enough to make you moan. 
“This is good, but it’s not enough. We have to gather more - have to cut down a bunch of bamboo too.” He put the jug next to the others before joining you where you sat. “Here, you must be starving.” He ripped off a handful of the glorious fruit and tossed them into your lap. 
Nothing had ever tasted so good. 
“Jesus Christ, I thought I would pass out.” You knew you had fruit on your face, but you couldn’t be bothered to care. “Thank you.” You peeled another, eating it just as quickly as the first. 
“Don’t mention it. Okay, let's get to work.” 
-
Your fingers were sore, your back was sore, every single part of you was sore. Hours crawled by with the sun beating down on you both as you weaved fronds together. He had you create sheets and sheets of it, had you help him cut down enough bamboo to build a house. He did the heavy lifting and made what looked like a crude rope tying together the bamboo in layers strong enough to hold both of you. 
Wordlessly, he worked, the sweat dripping down his face, soaking through his shirt like a marathon runner until it was a hindrance and he took it off, used it as a rag that hung limp over his shoulders. This was much worse than a marathon, though, much worse than any workout you’d ever done in your life, and although you’d never say it out loud, you were incredibly thankful he was here. 
I probably would have died by now. 
It was a terrifying thought that without him, you wouldn’t survive - you shoved it away. It wouldn’t matter soon because your parents would be looking, and they wouldn’t stop until they found you.
“Come lay on this, I want to see if it’ll hold both of us.” He stood over the platform, laying on it as you came closer. It held. “Perfect. We’ll be elevated off the sand, less chance of bugs or crabs biting us, and it’ll be cooler than the helicopter.” He let out a weary, tired sigh.
“You’re expecting us both to sleep on this?” You couldn’t help your tone, and instantly you felt bad. He’d worked very hard on this. His brow furrowed. 
“You’re welcome to sleep where you want. I’ll be on this.” He got up, his scowl now back in place, “I’m going to finish here and then go fishing. Keep weaving.” 
Quietly, you got back to work.
-
In all his years, Francisco had never met someone so spoiled and self-serving - even though he’d expected it from her, it still hurt. He didn’t know why - why it would matter that some spoiled rich brat was acting like a spoiled rich brat; maybe it was the lack of gratitude. He was useful, he was smart and he had skills that he knew for a fact she’d die without. 
He stewed over it as he swam towards a large boulder protruding out of the water near the shore. A perfect spot to catch the fish that swam around in the reef below the surface. 
I should let her starve. Find her own food and her own water.
He wouldn’t, though, he couldn’t. All his life, he’d been taught to be a good person, to help where he could and after what had happened in that jungle - he shook it off, pushed it down. Ignored the cruel, petty voice in his head and set about catching something to eat. All the while keeping an eye on the horizon for a boat - for any sign that people were looking for him. That his people were looking for him. 
He let himself think about them, really think about them for the first time since the crash. His parents, his little girl, let himself feel the emptiness of being without them. He let the waves of it crash over him just as the ocean around him crashed into the shore, and then he put it away. 
She was still working when he came back with his catch, her face scrunched up in concentration - ignoring her, he went about doing what needed to be done.
“Is this enough?” Her voice cut through his concentration, and he nodded noncommittally - leaving the prepped fish on a relatively clean piece of driftwood he’d found.
“Hold this.” He stood at the corner of the raised bed and had her hold a tall, sturdy piece of bamboo. His plan was to make a small frame around the base, use the tarp in order to waterproof it, and lay the fronds all around to protect them from the winds that blew through here in bad weather.  
She watched him work in silence, standing where he told her to stand, holding what he told her to hold and eventually, finally - they finished. It was as solid a structure as he could manage without planks of wood or nails, strong enough to survive against a moderate storm and to keep them off the sand. 
He’d used the tarp to cover the roof and three sides, leaving one open for them - him to enter. On top were rows of fronds to catch rainwater and prevent it from pooling in the tarp, the rest of the unused woven sheets she’d made laid inside to use as bedding. With the emergency blanket and his military bedroll this would make a decent bed.
All in all, he was proud of himself, he took the raw materials he’d found on this island, and fashioned himself – themselves a shelter. 
His stomach growled. It was time to start that fire.
-
Your stomach was screaming out in hunger. The bananas had been wonderful, but they weren’t enough. 
“Are you sure that’s safe to eat?” You watched him wrap the fish in banana leaves and put it into red hot embers; you couldn’t help but be slightly dubious about eating something he’d just pulled out of the ocean. He sighed loudly before answering.
“You don’t have to eat it,” he sounded tired, and you supposed he must have been with how hard he’d worked. “It’s edible. I’ve caught this fish before.” He wiped at his brow with the shirt around his shoulders, his skin slightly pink from the sun. 
You didn’t say anything, still unsure, but when the time came for him to unwrap the blackened leaves, your stomach growled loudly. It looked very good. 
He didn’t offer any, instead, he snatched a piece of the steaming, flaky fish and popped it into his mouth, relishing the taste with a loud groan and a big smile. A nice smile, in truth. 
“Maybe I’ll try a little bit.” You scooted closer to where he sat in the sand, unable to resist it.
“Here, careful - it’s very hot.” He tore a piece of a fresh banana leaf and gave you a decently sized filet, and with singed fingers and zero patience, you took a bite.
It was, without a doubt, the most delicious thing you’d ever eaten. 
“Good?” He ate quickly, his expression amused at your very obvious enjoyment of the ‘dubious’ fish. 
“It’s the best fucking thing I’ve ever had.” You meant every word, and licked every last morsel off your fingers.
It was incredibly dark by the time the food was eaten, and the fire had died out. Francisco was attaching a piece of netting to the open side, and once he was done, he climbed in without another word. 
The helicopter felt safe, enclosed and a space you could lock, but the shelter would have airflow. It would be infinitely cooler to sleep in. You knew that, eventually that helicopter would turn into a greenhouse that felt more like an oven. Not to mention how horrible it was to sleep sitting up. 
Every second that passed made the shelter look more and more appealing, and after quickly changing into clean clothes, you slipped in silently, but it didn’t even matter, he was already asleep.
He woke to the feeling of soft breath on his back, the air was significantly cooler than it had been during midday, and now, in the early dawn of the morning she was seeking him out for warmth. It was in him to pull away, to deny her, but instead, he stayed motionless. Let her even breath comfort him for a few moments before he eventually rose to bathe in the ocean. Her hand was draped around his middle, pressing herself flat to him while she slept, completely oblivious.
He thought about how scandalized she’d be to know she was being so intimate with him; it almost made him laugh, but soon, that internalized mirth shifted to something bitter, something close to anger. He was only too aware that when she looked at him, she saw ‘the help’; someone like her could never see him as anything other than someone else to pay off, the person hired to do things below her. She shifted in her sleep, burrowing closer, her soft puffs of air ruffling the hair curling at the base of his skull. 
Why does that bother me? I don’t even care about this person.
He sighed, confused with himself over these baffling feelings of inadequacy, frustrated that being close to another person felt good. Annoyed that he didn’t want to pull away - no matter how much of a brat she was. If she woke now and saw them tangled, she’d be embarrassed, perhaps even disgusted, he knew this for a certainty. So he left her.
-
Dawn found you almost frustratingly well-rested, as well as alone. All doubts that may have lingered about the craftsmanship of the shelter evaporated like the morning dew. A long, much-needed stretch is the catalyst that moves you out of the shelter, making sure to close the netting on your way to grab your toiletry bag when he catches your eye from his place in the water. The early morning sun lit up the surface like diamonds. He was running his hands through his hair, wringing out the shirt he’d been wearing the day before. His skin was golden, the high planes of his face kissed by the sun's rays, his shoulders too. You watched him for a time, unable to ignore the breadth of his shoulders - the pleasant sight of his thighs and it was hard not to stare at him when he rose out of the water, the droplets from his golden skin casting a sort of spell on their way back down to earth.
His hands were something else altogether, weaving their own magic the closer he came to shore, from the way they wrung out the shirt easily to the way they adjusted his considerable bulge as he walked, and you looked away quickly, ignoring the curious heat crawling up your chest. 
He found you brushing your teeth, pointedly looking away. 
“I’m going to go look for more fruit.” He spoke as he put the wrung-out shirt to dry next to some of the other things he’d washed before changing out of his wet boxers behind the cover of the helicopter. “You should gather more firewood, things to burn for tonight.”  When he came back around, he was dressed in a clean white tee and a pair of shorts. Looking for all the world like a man on vacation. 
“I’m coming with you.” You rose from your place in the sand quickly, shuffling to reach him before he left you. “I’d rather not wait around.”
“Fine, come on then.” With that, you both set off into the trees.
The morning was full of birdsong and sunlight, bright buttery shafts of it cutting through the trees while the former echoed around you. 
“This would be a gorgeous place to vacation.” He echoed your thoughts as you followed a faint path in the brush. 
“I guess, would need a vast improvement.” Like a hotel, and an actual landing strip maybe. He laughed low, his eyes looking high into the trees.
“I don’t know, I don’t mind it being a bit rustic.” He pointed ahead, a few coconut trees catching his attention.
“This is more than a bit rustic I’d say. God I can’t wait until my parents find me. I should be by the pool right now, mingling with Louis.” Your palm smacks against the first of surely many bites rising on your skin. 
“That your boyfriend?” He’s serious now, scooping a couple of coconuts from the floor and dropping them into your arms.
“No, but he should be. He’s an insanely wealthy man my father invited to our private island, where I should be right now.” You sighed loudly, annoyed at the situation all over again. “Soon. Soon, I will be back where I belong. God, my mother is probably worried sick, you know?” You stood there, holding onto the coconuts he stacked in your arms before moving on to find more fruit.
“Sure.” He all but grunts, moving carefully through the brush. “I get it-“
“I wouldn’t be surprised if the military is out searching for me right now.” An image of handsome Louis frantically joining the search with your parents makes your stomach flip. 
I wonder if he is worried about me?
“Focus.” His voice rips you out of your daydream. “Let’s grab some more bananas, and head back.” He seems annoyed - he’s always annoyed.
“I hate this.” Your arms ache from holding the heavy coconuts. “Shouldn’t we be building a signal fire or something?” You can hear the whining tone, but you can’t stop it. Must everything be so hard?
“And just what are we meant to signal? Seen a bunch of planes, have you?” His tone is icy, his expression angry. “Cruise ships sailing by us every hour?” He finds a banana tree and cuts down a stalk, his movements aggressive.
“Well no-“
“Exactly. We’re on our own, which means until the military or whoever is looking for you finds this island- we have to work.” He props the bananas against his shoulder and turns back towards the camp, pointedly ignoring the way you struggle to keep up with him. 
-
You’re already covered in sweat by the time you make it back to camp, breathing hard and soaking through your clothes.
“Jesus Christ, I cannot with these things.” You dump the coconuts next to the water jugs, shaking out your aching limbs. He sets the bananas next to them before moving to grab some firewood from the tree line. Your eyes scan the beach, the waves gently lapping at the shore; it would be pretty enough without the eye sore that is the helicopter.
“I cannot wait to be away from this hunk of junk.” His movements stop at your words.
“That hunk of junk was my entire fucking livelihood. I don’t have a rich daddy to just buy me a new one.” He tosses the wood pieces angrily into the pit, ignoring the recoil his tone inspired. “Not everyone has it so easy, princess.”
“No, I guess they don’t, sorry-“ he spoke over you.
“Forget it.” He let out a sigh. “Let’s just do what we can to survive until someone finds us.” His expression was cold, and you can’t help the guilt that blooms in the pit of your stomach.
“Sounds good.” The rest of the day passed by in silence.
The days both fly, and crawl by and Frankie works each and every one of them. He works to find them food, he works to reinforce their shelter - to make them as comfortable as he possibly can, all while trying his hardest not to lose his mind. The picture of his little girl burned a hole in his heart when he looked at it each night. He only hoped she knew he’d come back to her.
Being stuck on an island by himself would have been bad enough; the loneliness, the isolation would no doubt be detrimental to his mental health, to his hopes of being found, but this? This had to be worse.
She helped, but only because he pushed her to. He knew that if it were up to her - they would have long since starved. He watched her as he braided more palm fronds to pad the sleeping platform, she was washing some of the clothes she’d worn as best she could, and he couldn’t help but admit that she was pretty. Her face was pleasant to look at when her nose wasn’t turned up. He can’t help but like the shape of her, imagining her skin would be soft and silky - he’d definitely been on this island too long. 
Doesn’t matter how attractive she is, she doesn’t want you, and you don’t want her.
He didn’t know if he was reminding himself, or convincing himself. 
A noise in the treeline behind him stops him mid-braid and for a moment, he thinks there might be someone else on the island, but he realizes what it is and grabs his knife. If he plays this right, tonight they’d eat like kings. 
-
A new appreciation was born of having to wash your own clothes, for electricity, for washing machines and dryers, for Tide pods. For the maids who did your laundry and for the people who did your drycleaning, for the neat drawers full of clean clothes waiting at home. 
For now, these would have to do. They wouldn’t smell like your favourite fabric softener, but they’d be clean enough to wear here at least. Francisco had set up a makeshift laundry line from the helicopter to a leaning palm tree, his things hanging as you added your own, and you briefly considered folding his things for him when his absence caught your attention. 
“Francisco?” you called out to him, ignoring the way your heart raced. Usually, when he went off to get water or fruit, he let you know; it was unlike him to leave without a word. There had to be a reason. He wouldn’t just abandon you, would he? 
Grab a hold of yourself, where the hell would he even go?
He crashed through the trees, triumphant and laughing, and you shoved away the altogether too-big feeling of relief that washed over you to see him. 
“Good news, Princess, there’s wild boar on the island.” It was the happiest you’d seen him, well, ever. “It’ll be hard, but I think I can catch one.” He was making his way towards his supplies, and very quickly, the relief turned to dread. “We’re going to feast-”
“You’re going to kill a wild pig?” It was very hard to keep the worry out of your tone, or off your face. 
“What’s the matter, never had pork chops?” He frowned now, his hands on his hips facing you. 
“I mean, yeah, but this is a little different than going to a butcher and grabbing a few chops. You’re going to hunt down the animal and kill it? I’m not into that. I don’t know if I could eat it.” He narrowed his eyes at you, no doubt preparing to rip you a new one. “It’s also incredibly dangerous - they have a tendency to gore people.” His expression changed at that, real consequences seemed to get through to him. 
“I mean, it’s not that different, but fine.” The wind had gone out of his sails, “I’ll see if I can catch something in the water - you okay with that?” He grabbed his fishing gear, raising an eyebrow, and you nodded before he made his way towards the water. You knew he was probably cursing you for ruining whatever he imagined cooking, but still, you couldn’t help but consider it a victory. 
Babe, the pig wouldn’t be dying on your watch, and neither would he. Instead, he returned to the camp a few hours later with a fish, a few crabs, and a look that said you better not have any complaints. You didn’t. None that you’d say out loud anyway.
Dinner was a quiet affair, tasty and filling with the fish and the added protein; you both went to sleep full, and ungored. 
-
Something loud dragged you up and out of the haze of sleep. It was still dark, and the sun had not risen yet. The sound was definitely something loud - probably just a plane. You shot up, scrambling out of the shelter to see if what you were hearing was real, Francisco barely moved. 
It was high up, but it was definitely a plane. 
“Francisco! There’s a plane. Where are the flares?” You all but barrelled into the shelter to shake him out of his dreams. 
“Hmmm, tired baby.” He was out of it but strong when he pulled you closer - you ignored the way your stomach flipped on its ass at his pet name. 
“Francisco, let me go, there’s a plane!” You smacked at his face lightly, just enough to wake him up.
“Huh? A plane?” your words broke through his sleep-addled brain, and he shot up. “What kind of plane?” He was out and grabbing at his bag momentarily before he swore loudly, a sigh filling the quiet of the dawn. “You called me for a commercial plane? You didn’t actually fire a flare, did you?” The blood drained from his face momentarily.
“No, I would have, but I didn’t know where you put the flare gun.” You frowned at him, annoyed. “I thought they’d see it.”
“Thank Christ.” He took a deep breath, his hands on his hips, “That Is a commercial flight, and if you’d fired the flare, it would have not only been a waste of a flare, but you could have burned the shelter down, could have ruined our supplies.” He seemed angry, and that, in turn, pissed you off. 
“I didn’t think about that, I was trying to help-“ You crossed your arms, ignoring the annoyed look on his face.
“With the altitude that plane has, it wouldn’t matter if we had a thousand flares; come to me before you try to signal anyone, got it Princess?” He didn’t wait for a response, instead, he got back into bed and didn’t mention the incident again. 
You got back into the shelter, laying in the pre-dawn glow - conflicting feelings fighting for dominance within you. You stared at his back, at the soft curl of hair he wore like a halo, and the fluttering of your stomach won out for just a moment. The solid press of him holding you close while still asleep was strangely welcome, although you’d never admit it. His condescending tone came to mind then, he had a habit of speaking down to you, and while you could admit you weren’t the most knowledgeable in survival, you still deserved to be spoken to like an adult. 
You fell asleep fighting the urge to both press yourself close, and smack him upside the head.
-
When morning well and truly came, it found you both in a terrible mood. 
He was quiet, much like he always was when he was annoyed, so you left him with his thoughts and set off to find more fruit through the path you’d both taken to traveling every few days. Luckily, the island was bountiful, and there were plenty of bananas, coconuts, and even some mangoes, but there was only so much you could take and you decided to venture out a bit further, keeping your eyes peeled for something different. 
After a while, you found a berry bush, a small variety you didn’t recognize at once, but they were a very gorgeous, deep purple colour. Thinking he might appreciate a change as much as you, you picked a few handfuls and wrapped them up in a banana leaf before continuing your scavenging. 
This was where your luck ran out, however, and if there were other varieties of fruit, they weren’t for you to find. Instead, you picked up a few mangoes and a coconut on your way back. 
You found him looking through his things from the helicopter, a scowl on his face. 
“Hey, I found some berries-” He looked up at the sound of your voice, his brow furrowed at the smile on your face. “I figured you were probably getting sick of the same fruit we’d been eating. I was hoping to find something else, but no luck.” You set them down in front of him. 
“You didn’t eat this, did you?” his voice was curt and you frowned. 
“No, I thought we could share them-”
“These are toxic.” He tossed them into the sand, burying them with a heavy sigh. “Do me a favour and don’t grab shit you don’t know for sure is edible. You could have made us really sick.” He turned then and continued with his inventory. Embarrassment and annoyance burned through your veins. 
“You don’t have to be such an asshole about it, you know.” The words came on almost by themselves, bubbling up in your throat at the sanctimonious look on his face. 
“What?” He paused and turned to look you in the face. 
“You don’t have to be so fucking mean to me all the time.” You crossed your arms, holding in the frustration that seemed to expand in your lungs like a horrible balloon. “All you do is talk down to me. I said I was sorry about almost using the flare-” He huffed out an almost amused laugh and it boiled your blood. “It’s not funny! I’m stuck out here with you and all you do is yell, or talk to me like I’m stupid. I’m a person, and I deserve basic human decency-”
“What’s my last name?” He crossed his arms, his voice calm, but his question stole the words right out of your mouth. 
“What?” 
“You heard me - what is my last name? What do you know about me? Aside from the fact that my first name is Francisco, and that I’m a pilot.” He stood, knocking the sand off his shorts. 
“I don’t think you told me-”
“No, I haven’t - do you know anything about who might be looking for me? Do you have any idea if I have anyone waiting for me to get home?” Your stomach sank, the anger slowly bleeding away and being replaced with shame. “Any idea if I’m married, or if I have kids?” He’s angry now, the scowl bigger than ever before. 
“No, I-I don’t know.” You took a step back. 
“No. No, you don’t. You don’t know that I’m divorced, that my parents are probably worried sick. You don’t know that I have a daughter, that her name is Tatiana, and that she’s probably thinking her dad abandoned her, or worse - that he’s dead.” You recoiled at that. 
“I didn’t know you had a daughter.” Your voice feels small, and the shame in your belly grows, vines of guilt wrapping themselves around your throat.
“How could you? You’ve never fucking asked me a single thing about who I am as a person! All you’ve done is complain. Complain and talk to me endlessly about how much money your parents have, how you should be on a private island, and how much of a fucking eyesore my livelihood is, and any time I’ve opened my mouth to respond or explain how we’re both stuck here, you’ve spoken over me.” His words cut at you - you don’t know this man at all, and you never ever cared to ask. You don’t respond. 
He was well and truly angry now, kicking sand away from himself in his frustration. 
“I’m sorry-” He put his hands up. 
“Don’t. I don’t need you to apologize. I need you to pull your weight, and maybe realize that I’m also a person, and that all your money means jackshit to me. I need you to treat me like a human being, not just a sounding board.” He walked away, leaving you with your guilt - a sad balloon deflating alone.
-
They were both quiet that night. With Francisco, it was mostly out of anger. The feelings of inadequacy and frustration he’d been bottling up had finally been spoken aloud, and now he was processing them, all while still being stuck on this godforsaken island.
For her, he could see it was pure guilt. From the subdued expression, from her quiet words and general withdrawal, he knew no one had ever been so honest with her before. He would have almost felt guilty, if he hadn’t been so annoyed and hurt at the way she’d treated him. Instead, they both avoided each other for the rest of the night - a silent shared meal before wordlessly falling asleep in the shelter.
He woke the next morning to the feeling of her pressed against him again.
Her deep, even breaths against the back of his neck were embarrassingly welcome, and he ignored the way his body responded. He let out a low, deep sigh, grateful that he was facing away, a shudder passing through his body at the thought of having to explain why he was as hard as a rock. 
His hand traveled down to where her leg was draped over his hip, unable to resist feeling her skin for just a moment before he slowly untangled their limbs, and made his way towards the water. 
Days passed, and they passed without much conversation. This particular morning was somehow even more quiet despite the constant sound of waves lapping at the shore. The anger had fizzled out, and what was left was more akin to silent resignation. The two of you danced around each other, performing what were now everyday tasks without uttering a single word. The hours slipping by wordlessly, that is, until your scream cut through the silence. 
“What is it?” He was at your side quickly, his eyes wide with something that looked suspiciously like worry. 
“I think I stepped on a shell-” The sand around your foot was turning pink, your eyes widening at the sight.
“Okay, take a deep breath and sit here-” He guided you with surprisingly soft hands towards one of the logs around the burned-out fire. “Don’t move - try to keep your foot out of the sand.” He stood then, walking away.
“Where are you going?” Your voice sounded strange, almost whiny, and you ignored the little pang of despair. 
Get a hold of yourself.
“Just going to get the first aid kit.” The cut throbbed as you waited, and soon he returned with one of the water bottles and a big red case. He walked with purpose, the look on his face shamed you to have been so clueless. This was a man that had obviously dealt with many a scraped knee. “Okay, let's see what we’re dealing with.”
He kneeled on the sand before you, taking your foot into his hands. You hissed when he softly brushed the sand away.
“Tsk, come on now Princess. I know you can be braver for me than that.” His hands were soft, and so was his tone, and it filled you with something, comfort amongst other, less wholesome thoughts. You shook them away, chewing on your bottom lip, watching as he played nurse. “Nothing too crazy, just a little cut.” 
He rinsed the sand carefully, his brow furrowed in concentration. 
“Okay, this might sting a little.” He rifled through the open case beside him, grabbing a little pack of what looked to be antiseptic. “Deep breath for me.” He watched you then, waiting until you let the breath go before wiping the wound clean. The sting almost slapped you across the face, every instinct screaming to pull your foot away from the mean man. 
“Okay, okay - you’re okay.” his hands engulfed your ankle, holding you firmly in place. “Good job, we’re almost done.” he spoke low, opening up a waterproof bandaid and carefully covering the tiny wound. “There we go. All done.” He pressed a small kiss to the top of your foot, his eyes widening after. “Sorry- force of habit.” He laughed awkwardly. 
“Thank you. It feels much better.” You felt the heat in your chest and in your ears and ignored it, ignored the whole mess of feelings blooming in your gut for him. 
“Yeah, sure.” He collected his things before scratching at the back of his neck and it thrilled you to realize that he looked as flushed as you felt. “I’m going to go catch something.” He got up quickly, moving with purpose away from where you sat, curtailing any further discussion. 
-
He hadn’t expected it, but she’d taken his words to heart. He’d felt terrible after going off on her. The embarrassment on her face at how she’d treated him, although completely warranted, pulled at his heartstrings. He couldn’t exactly say why - it wasn’t something he could explain, not something he wanted to delve into. Whether that was for his benefit or hers, he couldn’t be sure. 
She no longer had to be told to fetch fruit, or water. She did her best to keep the camp organized, she no longer spoke about her wealth, or Louis. She was quiet most of the time, in fact, and he wasn’t sure if it was better, or worse. 
Where she mostly avoided his annoyance throughout the day, she still clung to him at night. He never told her, convincing himself it was to spare her further embarrassment, ignoring the little part of him that knew it was because he was terrified that if she knew, she’d stop. 
-
Things were different, that was for sure. The days passed and you had to admit to yourself that you’d been such an ungrateful, horrid little - well, Princess. He’d been completely right about you, and he’d had the patience of a saint. You saw him with different eyes now. You saw a competent, strong, intelligent man who up until now, was the only reason you’d survived on this godforsaken island as long as you had. It was well and truly humbling. 
Instead of complaining, now you did your best to pull your weight. The goal was to show him that you were grateful, that you weren’t just some spoiled rich girl, that you could be something other than that, anyway. You wanted - needed to prove to him that you weren’t a burden. 
-
It had been a particularly hot day, the sun beating down on the both of you with a vengeance. Sunset couldn’t come fast enough, and once it did, you cherished it like never before. 
He dug around in the helicopter while you sat on the log, enjoying the tiny, but very welcome breeze coming off the water. 
“Oh wow, I forgot about this,” You heard the smile in his voice, “How would you feel about a drink?” He held a bottle in his hand, making his way over to your place in the sand. 
“I’d feel great actually, if you don’t mind sharing.” 
“Bottle’s almost full, more than enough for both of us.” He sat next to you, taking a generous sip of the amber liquid before handing it to you. It was warmer than you would have liked, but the burn was pleasant enough that you didn’t care. “Good, right?” His smile is as breezy as the ocean, and just as welcome. 
“Very good,” you couldn't help but admit before taking another long sip, “I can already feel it.” You smiled, handing it back to him. 
“We’ll be cheap drunks tonight, that’s for sure.” He took another long swallow, and you couldn’t help but stare at the way his throat worked. You watched the fire instead, focusing on the embers as the drink settled in your stomach. The heat spreads through your limbs, making you feel heavy where you sit beside him. 
You both sat in silence for a time, passing the bottle back and forth until most of it was gone, and your head felt like a balloon barely tethered to your body. 
“This would be such a beautiful place…without the whole ‘being stranded’ thing.” He held the bottle loosely, his eyes no doubt taking in the gorgeous sunset.
“You mean you don’t love being stuck out here with me?” You bumped his shoulder, and it vaguely registers how much you missed physical touch. He laughed, full-throated. 
“Oh yeah, this is definitely heaven.” His expression is exaggerated, “You know what I mean.” He gestures to where the water laps at the shore. “This is a paradise, just needs a resort, and an airport.” He sighed, his mood is the friendliest you’ve ever seen. 
“Yeah, it would definitely make a difference.” You leaned back and listened to the water. “Happy you’re here though, woulda died without you.” You didn’t mean to say it, but it’s absolutely true.
“Oh, I don’t know-” He shrugged, modest and much kinder than you deserved.
“Yes, you do-” You shoved at his arm softly, “You’re the only reason we’re still alive, super nice to me despite the fact that I can be a spoiled little brat.” You laughed. 
“Can’t argue with that.” He laughed, “I like brats, though.” He smiled, and something that feels very much like butterflies fluttered around in your stomach. He didn't say anything else, and neither did you, the butterflies lingered, though, well into the night, and they only seemed to get stronger whenever his eyes found yours. 
“It’s getting late-” He puts the bottle down, “-we should get some rest.”
You nodded, not trusting your voice, instead, you just followed him towards the shelter. 
It’s a strange, unfamiliar dance you’re both doing - the polar opposite of how things have been between you. Shy smiles replace cold stares, and a curious longing takes hold of you. It would embarrass you to fall prey to your baser instincts - there’s something in the way his eyes tracked you that says you weren’t alone in your feelings. 
-
Something has shifted, he can feel it in the tense energy between them. A pleasant buzz flowed through his veins, danced along his nerves like a current, beat through his heart, and into his loins. She was so close, he could practically feel her warmth. 
She sighed beside him, her legs rubbing together like a cricket and he knew in his gut, she felt the same energy. 
“Good night, Frankie.” She whispered the words, as though someone might overhear. His eyes clenched shut at the feel of her breath ruffling through his hair, closer than she’d ever let herself get, awake anyway. 
“Night-” Everything in him wanted to turn over, to feel her fingers ruffle through his hair, but something held him back. He stayed still, his body tense despite how relaxed the alcohol had made him. 
“It’s a bit cold–” Her voice is a bit closer, so close he felt it in the shell of his ear, “-okay if I scoot closer?” Her hands pressed against his back, her legs tangled with his, and he knows in his bones, it’s just a ploy, but he stayed still nonetheless. 
“Sure-get close.” He took her hand and wrapped it around his middle, holding it well above his waist, letting out a deep breath.
“Oh-okay.” She pressed her face into his shoulder, and every cell in his body screamed at him to turn around, to kiss her, bury his tongue in her mouth, and then trail it down, bury it between her legs, but he shook his head, convincing himself she just wants this.
“Night.” His voice cracked, but he said nothing more. He felt her staring at him, letting out a little sigh of her own. 
“Night, Frankie.”
The days following your drunken night passed by in mostly silence, with a polite avoidance from him, and an annoyed quiet from you. 
It was no secret that you had the power to annoy the hell out of him, but you’d thought there’d been something else. The look in his eye when he’d told you he liked brats, the sound of his voice when he’d held you close, the considerable boner pressing against your ass when you’d woken up to him wrapped around you that next morning. 
Maybe you’d misread him, maybe it wasn’t flirting, maybe he’d just been stroking your ego, being nice to you, and you’d practically thrown yourself at him only to be.. What? Ignored? 
-
The wind whipped around as you both ate dinner a few quiet days later, the sky dark and pregnant with the promise of a heavy rain, filling you with worry. The shelter was sturdy, you knew that, but you didn’t think it would hold up against a storm like the one that had blown you both onto the island to begin with. 
“I don’t think we’ll be enjoying a fire tonight,” His eyes stared at the sky, same as you, “we should bring the clothes into the shelter; it’s going to pour soon.” He got up, tossing his banana peels into the fire pit just as the first few drops of water sprinkled down on top of you.
A nervous current flowed through your body as you made yourself comfortable within the shelter, making you acutely aware of his closeness. 
The rain came down in sheets as you both lay there, filling the silence with its rhythmic pattering against the tarp. Lightning flashed, illuminating the space between you. A shiver ran through you at the look on his face. 
“You okay?” His hand shot out, landing softly on your arm, raising goosebumps as it slid down towards your elbow.
“I’m fine.” You shudder, but all at once, annoyance springs up at his rejection the other night - you turn to give him your back. 
“Are you… angry at me?”
You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
“Why would I be angry at you? It’s not like I threw myself at you or anything.” 
“What?” His voice sounded incredulous, “You mean, when we were drinking?”
“Yes!” You sighed, “I was all over you. I guess I was wrong.” All at once, you’re embarrassed, and desperate to get away from his incredulous expression. The storm, however, holds you both hostage.
“Hm.” He sounded almost amused, and your stomach dropped, “Well, if I’d known that all you needed was to be fucked, things would have been different.” 
Your stomach did a backflip onto its ass, shock, and pure adrenaline coursing through your body at his words. You turned slowly to face him.
“Sorry?” It came out almost stupidly, and he smiled a very self-satisfied smile.
“I said, if I’d known, that in order for you to stop being such a brat,” He moved in closer, forcing you to lay back and make space for him between your legs. “All you needed was for me to fuck you, I would have done it sooner.” He hovered above you, close enough that he must’ve surely felt your heart pounding where his chest met yours. It’s with Herculean strength, that you composed yourself, albeit nervously.
“Well, I guess I just thought you were more perceptive.” The bold words were completely at odds with the tremor in your voice; he laughed, full-throated, and it sent a current across every inch of you. 
“Or maybe, I thought you’d open that pretty mouth of yours, and say what it is you wanted.” He pressed forward, dragging his lips across your jaw before capturing your mouth in a kiss. It started soft, and for a moment, the storm disappeared, your hands finding themselves tangled up in his messy waves, and then his tongue pressed forward, and it pulled a moan from somewhere deep inside you. 
There was no more talking. Only the feeling of your heart racing, your cunt aching, and his comforting weight pressing you into the shelter, that is, before he shifted his hips and the considerable heft of him was slotted perfectly against where you needed him most. 
The slip of his warm palm from the trembling skin of your belly raised goosebumps in its wake, and pulled a gasp from your mouth into his when it glided under your shit and landed on your breast. Those deft fingers you’d seen working away on all manner of things on this island, now plucked deliciously at your nipple. 
It was almost violent, both the storm outside, and your haste to divest him of his clothes. The need to feel that golden skin on yours was a hunger pang, both terrible and euphoric, that burned as brightly as the flashes of lightning that lit up the shelter. His eyes shone with the same intensity you felt, and instantly, he moved away to help you, too, the two of you scrambling with a ferocity that bordered on anger. 
“God, you’re so fucking hot–” He hissed the words onto your face before kissing you again, and any softness was gone, his teeth clicked against yours before his tongue took yours and laid down the law. Your skin burned with want, your fingers digging into the muscles of his back before you moved your hand down between you to finally grasp his cock. He pulled away from your mouth to stare down where you held onto him, drunk with the sight of just how big he looked in your grip. 
“Is this what you’ve been wanting?” He held himself above you, watching as you stroked him slowly. 
“God, yes, I wanted this - I want you to fuck me–” you swiped your thumb over the head, fat pearly drops of his own arousal making it slippery, “I want you to come inside me, make me feel good-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence before his mouth claimed yours once more and pulled your hand away in order to slip himself between the lips of your sex, coating himself in you for a moment before he finally slipped inside. 
“Jesus Christ, man.” You breathed the words onto his face at the stretch, at the way he seemed to have taken up every inch of space inside you, making you overflow with him. He didn’t give you any time to adjust, his hips snapping in a toe-curling rhythm. For a few minutes, there were no more words left, the only thing you can manage is to whimper, then moan in earnest when he ducked his head down to capture a nipple in his mouth. Your fingers like talons in his hair, keeping him close to your breast while your cunt soaked him in your want.
He let go of the perky bud with a pop, his eyes glazed. 
“Fuck baby, I’m gonna come so fast,” he almost slurred his words, pussy drunk, “your tight little cunt is gonna make me fucking come–” He sped up, his cock punching into you hard enough to make your breasts bounce, hard enough to make a lewd noise where you’re joined and you desperately wanted him to slow down so you can catch up. 
“Wait–” Your legs squeezed where they’d hitched up high on his hips, “Frankie–” His rhythm stuttered for a moment before he thrust again, deep, filling you with his come, and you almost cried at the thought that he might be done so soon.
“Fuck-” He ground himself as deep as he could, milking himself inside you for a moment before pulling away abruptly, hissing through the oversensitivity to look at his handiwork, “that’s so fucking pretty baby, look at me dripping out-” He smiled at you, almost laughing at the look of anguish on your face at the emptiness, “what’s wrong?” His hand rubbed at your belly for a moment before it slipped down, and two big fingers filled you back up. “I know you didn’t come, but you don’t think I’m just going to leave you like this, right?” He pumped slowly, making you keen when he pressed against something holy inside of you. “No, I got you, baby.” 
One moment he was kneeling between your legs, and the next, he was flat on his belly, his face pressed up against your pussy, tongue right on the button of your clit. 
The moan you let out was obscene. His tongue circled your clit with devastating precision, over and over again, until you were staring down at him with your mouth open, begging and praying incoherently for him to keep going just like that. His eyes were bright, laser-focused on you just like his tongue, and his free hand came up to hold onto your breast, pinching at your nipple, and all of a sudden, the sting snapped, the wave crested, and you practically folded in half, swearing loudly as you gushed around his fingers.
-
You weren’t sure how much time passed, but the storm got a little stronger, and louder as you both lay in the shelter, quiet and content to hold each other. Lightning turned the darkened skies into day for a moment before the boom of thunder shook you to your core. 
“It’s okay, just loud.” He said it softly into your ear with the same patience he’d had when he bandaged your foot, the comforting words dads usually used for their children.
“I know, it just startled me.” 
“Force of habit.”
“Your daughter, is she scared of thunderstorms?” You turned towards him, making yourself comfortable in his embrace.
“Only at first.” His smile was wistful, “She always jumps from the first big boom but then laughs,” his eyes crinkled, and it was hard not to notice just how handsome he is, the care and love he has for his daughter shining out through his eyes. “Sorry, I just miss her a lot.” It faltered, that handsome smile, and it made you sad for him.
“Don’t be sorry. I can’t imagine how hard all this must be for you.” Guilt swirled in your chest at the way you’d treated him before, at your general attitude towards everyone up until getting stranded. “I’m sorry about how I was–” He shook his head no, much too kind, kinder than you deserved, and you pushed through. 
“No, let me say it. I’m sorry about how I treated you - I was horrible.”
“You weren’t that bad.” 
“Yes, I was, so spoiled and insensitive, I didn’t even give your situation a second thought. All I cared about was myself and I can’t even believe it now. I’m sorry. I’m really lucky to have you here.”
“Thank you,” he smiled, one of his palms rubbing your back soothingly, “you’ve definitely had a big turnaround.” He laughed, and you smacked his arm playfully. “I’m lucky you’re here too. I would have been miserable by myself.” He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, and you couldn’t help but sigh at the simple comfort human touch could bring. “Not sure you would have ever agreed to go out with me had we not been stuck here together.” 
His words were light, and for a moment, you wanted to protest, but you didn’t think you could, and it shamed you further.
“Oh god, what a moron I was.” You groaned, pressing your face into the warm skin of his neck. 
“You weren’t a moron, maybe a little oblivious, and I don’t mean that in a cruel way. You and I are in very different circles. I doubt our paths would have even crossed, but I’m glad they did because as much as you have the power to drive me nuts, I really like you.” His hands continued their comforting sweep across your skin, lulling you into the most relaxed state you could remember being in, in a long time. 
“I would have been an idiot to not give you a chance. You’re so sweet and smart, and so strong, so fucking handsome, too. You take care of me and make me laugh, and you have done your best to keep us both safe and sound and I’m just - I’m ashamed that maybe in the past I would have been too shallow and stuck up to notice.” The storm abates as you confess some feelings you’d been harboring. 
“Don’t beat yourself up about it. I think I probably would have dismissed you just as quickly for similarly shallow reasons. As gorgeous as you are, I most likely would have written you off as some rich trust fund-baby.” He half-shrugged.
“I’m still sorry. It’s because of me that we’re here.” 
“I could have said no.”
“I pressured you with money. I pushed even though you’d said it was unsafe.”
“I still could have said no. Let’s just forget it all, everything that happened before we got here. Point is we’re here, and we have to keep it together until someone finds us.” His hand kept its rhythm, sweeping over any and all skin, casting its spell of comfort until both it and the storm lulled you into a deep, dreamless sleep. 
-----
Tag list: @frannyzooey @greeneyedblondie44 @lola4pedro @ezrasbirdie @221bshrlocked @artsymaddie @supernaturalgirl20 @sleep-tight1 @sherala007 @cannedsoupsucks @thirstworldproblemss @ilikechocolatemilkh @freeshavocadoooo @hrk-fic-recs @maxwell--lord @the-feckless-wonder @kirsteng42 @thisshipwillsail316 @feministfanboi @dihra-vesa @stevie75 @readsalot73 @pedrostories @tobealostwanderer @mandocrasis @elegantduckturtle @diogodxlot @alczysz17 @evyiione @absurdthirst @beskarboobs @andruxx @littlemissoblivious @1800-fight-me @maievdenoir @gracie7209 @omlwhatamidoinghere @magikfanatic @frankiecatfish @pedritoispunk @studythoreauly @missswriter @pintsizemama @mswarriorbabe80 @a-trial-run-on-paper @la-le-lu @chickadee-djarin @dobbyjen @rosiefridayrogersunday @ajeff855 @johnsrevelation @the-witty-pen-name @zombiesnips-blog @sarahjkl82-blog @fan-of-encouragement @queenofthecloudss @deadhumourist @felicisimor @sophiefatale2495 @toomanystoriessolittletime @what-iwish-you-knew @pedrostories @athalien @bi-thewayy @literallydontlook @pedrosbrat @gamingaquarius @localddreamers @luxmundee @iamafadedmoon @nakhudanyx @littlemisspascal @grogusmum @recklessworry @heyitmelexie @killyspinacoladas @gothicxbarbie @evildxad @dragonslarimar @spideysimpossiblegirl @chemtrail-mix @maievdenoir @breezythesimp @altarsw @artooies-scream @staygolddindjarin @softsweetedbeauty @littlemisspascal @yuiopiklmn @squidwell @just-blogging-around @bbyanarchist @girlofchaos @maddiedrmr @frasmotic @acourtofsnakes @buckybarneshairpullingkink @astoryisaloveaffair @harriedandharassed @swtaura @send-me-to-valhalla @shirks-all-responsibilities @androah @alwaysachorusgirl @dindjarinsmut @captain-jebi @gallowsjoker @oliviajdjarin @actuallyanita @tusk89 @dadbodfanatic-x @naiomiwinchester @blazedprince @rosymythologies @avidreader73 @mr-underhills-things @avengersfan25 @tastygoldentaters @nyotamalfoy @mymindfuckery @txtattoostark @its-nebuleuse
293 notes · View notes
Text
mamas (don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys)
Pairing: Jake Seresin x fem!reader Category: angst / fluff / run-on sentences Word count: 3,1k CW: language, I’ve been to Texas once okay forgive me, divorce Author’s note: this was supposed to be a holiday fic but I got stuck on it and almost abandoned it, but here it is rescued from my drafts, shoutout to all the amazing tgm fic writers your writing truly astounds me
Summary: Every year around the holidays, you hear from your ex. This year when you don’t respond, he decides to show up at your door. 
Tumblr media
2022
Jake UT  [November 23, 2022 at 10:24 PM]
Hey stranger
Visiting my mom for Thanksgiving
How’ve you been?
You ignore the message. How you’ve been in the last twelve months is not something you feel up to discussing with him.
You spend the next weeks dealing with crisis after crisis at work, leaning into the chaos like you have been all year. Your personal life? Garbage fire. Reconfiguring your entire pump setup two weeks before going to production, because the DoC slapped an import ban on one of your key suppliers in China? You’re on top of it.
But then, the week before Christmas, another message comes in:
Jake UT  [December 17th, 2022 at 3:47 PM]
Hey
In town for the holidays
Would love to see you if you’re free
Brett welcome too, of course
A pang in your chest, but curiosity gets the better of you, so you text back:
Thanksgiving and Christmas? Judy must be thrilled.
You’ve met Jake’s mom all of one time, ten years ago, but she made a lasting impression. Fiercely protective of her only son, she’d been wary of you at first (you were, in order of importance: Too non-Texan, too vegetarian, and too focused on trying to rescue an almost-due group project for your sustainable water management class in which no one was pulling their weight).
And yet, over the Thanksgiving weekend you’d spent at Jake’s mother’s house in Colton, she’d slowly warmed up to you. You’d asked her endless questions about her job as a project manager at Austin-Bergstrom, and she’d poured you half glasses of wine (still exotic, to you, back then) at the kitchen island, shooing Jake back into the living room.
She’d even called you, after you guys broke up, to say she was sorry to hear it, and to tell you to call her up any time you needed someone to talk to. You’d tried your best to keep your voice even, not to break down in tears for the seventh time that day, and never called her again.
* * *
“Dude. Put your phone away for two minutes.”
Jake looks up apologetically at his friend, and pockets the device. “Sorry. Just expecting a text.”
Sandeep holds out his bottle of Lone Star, and Jake clinks it with his own. “It’s good to see you, man. Sorry I wasn’t around at Thanksgiving, we were visiting Jed’s family in NC. I didn’t expect you to be back so soon.”
Jake takes a swig of his beer, the cold liquid feeling like a balm to his throat. “Yeah, well. It’s been a big year, work-wise, so they owed me one. I wanted to spend some extra time with my mom.”
Bringing up his drink to toast again, Sandeep says: “Here’s to you, bud. And to getting that permanent assignment in California. At least we knew where to send our holiday card this year.”
Condensation drips down the neck of his bottle, and Jake spins it slowly in his hand, stopping himself from peeling off the label. He feels on edge, unmoored, despite this 6th Street dive bar being as familiar to him as the back of his own hand.
Sandeep’s got his number. “Seeing anyone else while you’re in town? I don’t know, Myers?”
Jake doesn’t look up, but feels his cheeks heat up fractionally.
His friend takes another swig of his beer. “I guess I should stop calling her Myers. You know, with the divorce and all.”
The bottle escapes Jake’s grip, and amber liquid sloshes across the table, into Sandeep’s lap. “Shit, Seresin! Grab some napkins, will you?”
* * *
 2012
 You’d always known there was an expiration date on this thing with Jake, which is why you’d been reluctant to meet his mom to begin with.
You wanted fundamentally different things. He, the Navy: Adventure, excitement, a chance to serve his country. You: Stability. A family. A place where you belonged.
Both of you: an opportunity to prove yourself.
It’s civil, as far as breakups go.
“You always knew I wanted to fly.” He says, over breakfast at Magnolia Café. There’s a hard set to his jaw that makes you soften in contrast, because of course you do, everyone who’s ever been near Jake Seresin for longer than ten minutes knows he’s always wanted to fly.
From your first date he told you about how Judy used to park him in her office at the airport when her summer childcare fell through; little Jake happily spending the day watching commercial jets taxiing and taking off in quick succession.
How her coworkers, the civilian engineers who’d stayed on after Bergstrom Air Force Base was decommissioned and commercialized, would regale him with stories about generations of F-4 Phantoms. Or the British Airways Concorde, one of only twenty of the ill-fated aircraft ever made, bringing the Queen to Austin in a little yellow hat. The Reconnaissance Air Meet bringing in the best fighter pilots from across all divisions of the military and abroad, to compete and show off their skills.
Jake would listen to them with stars in his eyes.
You pick at your migas, your appetite gone. “I know, Jake. I would never stop you.”
But you look at him, and you know your face mirrors his determination. “But I can’t come with you, Jake. I can’t start my career following you around from camp to base year to year. I’m forty-thousand dollars in debt getting this degree, and I need to follow my own plan.”
You haven’t moved in together, though Jake spends most of his nights at your tiny off-campus apartment, where you’ve made him countless cups of black coffee trying to fuel weekend study sessions. Where he would come in past midnight, back from the late shift at his part-time job at the H-E-B, and bury his face in your neck, waking you up even though you’d been asleep for hours. Where you would hold his sleeping head to your chest, his deep breathing somehow felt inside of you, and run your fingers up and down the bare skin of his back, trying to memorize him.
You’re twenty-two, you tell yourself. This is not the end of the world.
So you see him off at the front door, a box of his things clutched to his chest, and you force yourself to be strong. “You better be,” and you try to smile up at him, but you’re not sure you’re doing a convincing job, “You better be the best goddamn pilot the Navy has ever seen, Jake.”
For a second, he looks like he wants to say something, but then he just puts down the box, and pulls you into a last embrace. You sink into it, the fundamentally safe feeling of his arms around you, then make yourself pull away after a minute, pretending you don’t see the wet stains on his shirt.
Later you look at all the spaces in your apartment he is now conspicuously absent from (no dog-eared volume of Game of Thrones on the nightstand, no boots by the door), and it hits you then; the crevasse he’s left in your life. It may run deeper than you thought.
* * *
Jake had gone to Officer Candidate School in Rhode Island, then designator-specific training in Pensacola, Florida, and done his best not to think about you.
It helped that his days were intense and exhausting. It helped that, on liberty weekends, girls would flock to him and his friends in bars.
It helped to be several states away from you.
It helped to be living his dream.
* * *
There is a bit of a backslide, that first Thanksgiving after, where you both think it can’t hurt to see each other for one drink, for old time’s sake, which ends in him taking you up against the door in your new apartment, your legs wrapped around his waist because he does not have the willpower or presence of mind to figure out the way to your bedroom.
He knows it was a mistake, at about five AM the next day, when the blue light of morning starts streaming through a gap in the curtains, illuminating your tousled hair fanned out over the pillow, the steady rise and fall of your chest so familiar to him he could cry.
Untangling himself from you hurts, and he does perhaps the most cowardly thing he ever will: he sneaks out before you wake up. But next week he’s shipping out, and the thought of the same dead-end conversation over coffee made just the way he likes it is unbearable, so he makes himself walk away.
Somehow it’s worse, the second time around.
* * *
You’d met someone else, like he’d known you would. He sees the engagement announcement on Facebook, browsing on his phone between drills, and likes the post. It’s the third year he’s been away, and he’s at TOPGUN by then, so he has a lot on his mind. He has a girlfriend, even, a local: cute as a button, beats him savagely at pool.
It doesn’t fully hit him until the first time he sees you with your then-fiancé, at a little holiday reunion of college friends. He sees you with that ring on your finger, another man’s arm around your shoulders, and he gets an acute sense of the alternate reality that could’ve been his.
It feels a little like losing altitude too fast.
Your initial reception of him is understandably frosty, but you seem too genuinely happy to hold a grudge. By the third round, when he sidles up to you at the bar, you give him a quick hug, looking up at him with a smile that squeezes his heart: “I’m so proud of you, Jake.”
He nods, not quite trusting himself to speak, and pulls you back in, just for a moment, tucking your head under his chin. You smell like apple and magnolia, like nights spent with his nose pressed into your back.
You don’t invite him to the wedding, and he’s all too glad not to have to make up an excuse not to go.
* * *
Things settle, after that. Jake gets deployed and reassigned, breaks up with his girlfriend and eventually gets another. You get promoted to senior engineer, then project lead. You see each other, not every year but close enough, sometimes with your husband there, sometimes without.
He braces himself for the next Facebook post; that you’re pregnant, but it never comes. Over time, even that seems to lose some of its potential emotional impact on him.  
Until three weeks ago, when you don’t text him back.
* * *
 2022
 You kick your shoes off in the entryway, then head into the kitchen to pour a glass of water. Before you can reach the tap, the doorbell rings, and for a second you think somehow, some way, your terrible Bumble date has followed you home.
Grabbing the biggest kitchen knife you own off the magnet strip over the sink, just in case, you creep back to the door, barefoot, to press your face up to the peephole.
You don’t really expect to see the guy you just left, the ice in your glass not even melted before you were thinking up excuses to get out of there, but you sure as fuck don’t expect to see Jake either.
The door feels heavier than usual as you slowly slide it open, or maybe you’re just a little stunned. The night air hits your skin, and you can make out the sound of dogs barking in the distance.
For a long moment, Jake just looks at you, but then he says: “What were you planning on doing with that, sweetheart?”
You follow the jut of his chin down the line of your arm, and contemplate the knife for a second, Jake’s sudden appearance having made you forget all about it.
“I thought someone might have followed me here.”
“Ah.” He says, a spark in his eyes, clearly suppressing a smile. “If you were going to defend yourself in hand-to-hand combat, a knife is a terrible choice. I could give you some tips, though.”
Putting the damn thing down on your entryway console, you turn back to look at him. It’s not cold, exactly, in December in South Central Austin, but he looks underdressed: a long-sleeved light grey t-shirt, hands shoved in the pockets of a faded pair of jeans.
He looks good, you can’t deny it: he’s always had an immediate effect on you.
Jake, your somewhat gangly, sweet college boyfriend had it. Jake, ten years of military training later: older, filled out, fine crinkly lines starting to appear at the corners of his eyes (helped along by the California sun and God knows what far-off places), irrevocably still does.
You shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts. “What are you doing here, Jake?”
At that, his expression sobers, and he looks at you for a long moment before he says:
“You didn’t tell me.”
* * *
Fucking Sandeep, you think, rubbing the back of your hand across your eyes, because that fucker has not been subtle with the hints lately, tutting like a Victorian matron while you pass the time evaluating your Bumble matches with his husband during Monday night football’s ad breaks.
The granite of your kitchen countertop feels reassuringly cool beneath your thighs, and you take a deep breath, keeping your eyes on the tile below:
“I wasn’t ready.”
Jake huffs, or so you assume by the little sound that escapes him, as you determinedly face only his sneakers: “It’s been a year. You sure told everyone else we know.”
That makes your head snap up, emotion rising in your chest in a way you don’t like, have always had to tamp down when it comes to him, these last ten years. “Fuck off, Jake. You know it’s different when it comes to you.”
He leans back against the fridge, arms folded, just slightly lifting his right eyebrow at you in that irritating way of his: “I could’ve been there for you.”
Fuck it, you think, all cards on the table then. “I was heartbroken, and embarrassed, and trying to figure out how to exist on my own again after being married for five years to someone who didn’t turn out to be who I thought he was, Jake. Sorry my first impulse wasn’t to come cry on my hometown hero ex-boyfriend’s shoulder.”
His eyes soften, and he pushes off the fridge to come stand next to you, running his fingers over the edge of the countertop. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice quieter than a moment ago. “I’m being a dick. It’s just, you have to know, I would’ve been there for you.”
He pauses for a second, takes a deep breath: “It’s always been different when it comes to you too, sweetheart.”
You start to shake, a little, or maybe it’s your imagination. But your voice wavers as you say his name, everything about your tone a warning: “Jake.”
He closes his eyes, shakes his head: “Our timing sucked, and I don’t regret our decision from back then. I’m proud of who I’ve become in the last ten years, and I’m proud of you. You think I don’t keep up with what you’re doing? The articles you’ve published?”
This stuns you, momentarily. “No, Jake Seresin. If I’m completely honest, I didn’t think you gave a shit about the latest advances in Texas drought management.”
Just being near him, the familiar smell of him bringing up memories you’ve had years to unsuccessfully repress, is overpowering.
He makes it worse by turning to you, face so goddamn heartbreakingly earnest as he says: “I couldn’t give you what you deserved, ten years ago, but I always told myself, if I was ever in a position to…” He swallows. “I tried to forget about it when you got married, I tried to root for you and Brett, I swear.”
His hand settles next to your thigh, not quite touching, and your hand comes down on its own accord to cover his. He straightens almost imperceptibly, uses his other palm to wipe a tear that’s made its way down your cheek.
Cupping your face, he draws a deep breath. “I have a permanent assignment now, in San Diego. I know it’s…”
“Jake.” You interrupt, squeezing your eyes shut, grabbing the hem of his shirt. “I’m not remotely the same person I was back then.”
He moves to stand in front of you now, and you draw him in between your thighs. Suddenly it seems imperative that you feel him, that he holds you.
Dipping his head to yours, you can hear the smile in his voice, watery, tentative: “Then let me get to know you again. Get to know me again.” He leans one hand on the counter, the other tracing your cheekbone. “No pressure. I’m totally very cool about this. Whatever you want.”
You laugh, a little choked up through tears, but genuine. It feels liberating. “What if I say yes? How does this work?”
His smile broadens, eyes crinkling at the corners, and he’s so goddamn close, nudging your nose with his. “Come visit me, for a start. I’ll show you the sights.”
You draw him in a little closer still, legs wrapping around his waist, one hand finding its way into his close-cropped hair, and you could cry for how familiar he still feels after all these years.
But when you close the gap between your lips and his, it’s like coming home and yet not at all: he’s different and rougher and sharper and it floods you with emotion, something big and terrifying and old and new.
He leans into the kiss, grinning, cards his fingers through your hair before he moves to cover your chin, your brow, the space next to your ear with kisses, and you remember this with a jolt to your heart – how singularly intense it is to be the focus of Jake Seresin, like the strength of the sun is aimed at you, how he never does anything by halves.
You take his chin in your hand, kiss him again for good measure, before saying, into the stubble of his jaw: “One visit. No pressure.”
The grin he gives you in return could power half this city: “One visit. No pressure.”
He dips his head to yours again, kissing the skin behind your ear as he tells you: “Southern California has a lot of drought problems, you know. I’ve actually been reading some really scary articles about it.”
.
.
.
i hope you enjoyed :):) - if you liked this I hope you’ll check out some of my other work:
where the wild things are (rooster x reader)
cross my heart (hangman x reader) masterlist
2K notes · View notes
munsons-melody · 5 months
Text
putting the x in sixx (part 2)
Tumblr media
summary: with corroded coffin now on tour with the boys of mötley crüe, nikki sixx takes the time to keep trying to get to you
pairing: rockstar!boyfriend!Eddie x female!reader
cw: mentions drugs/drug abuse,
recommended song: you’re all i need by mötley crüe
word count: 2.6k
a/n: this was a request and i was over the moon to write it!! also not very proofread :)
requested? yep :))
masterlist
part 1 can be found here
i do not consent to having any of my works republished, translated, or posted to any other site except here. if you see my works anywhere but tumblr, it has been republished without my knowledge, consent, or permission.
——
"uh huh... yes... yes of course... yep... okay... okay great thanks man" eddie said as he hung up the phone, turning to you with the biggest smile on his face
"good news?" you asked excitedly, moving up from your laying position on the couch, turning off the tv
"we're going on tour!" eddie screamed, jumping up and down causing you to giggle
"wait what? huh? explain!" you leaped from the couch to where he walked over to the living room
"that was our manager, he apparently talked to his buddy doc who talked to the boys of mötley crüe and said they loved our sound and our stage presence and when they go on tour they want us to open!" he explained, talking fast
your jaw dropped and you squealed, pulling him in close, wrapping your arms around his neck as you jumped and your legs wrapped around his waist
he held you close until you heard a small sniffle, and moved so you carefully landed on the ground
"eddie baby you okay?" you asked, moving a few strands of hair away from his face and wiping a tear that was falling down his cheek
he nodded and sniffled again, wiping the tears away from his face and looked at you
"i just can't believe it, i'm so happy" he admitted as you held his face gently and leaned into kiss him
as you pulled away, your brow furrowed in confusion "wait don't you need to tell the rest of the band?" you let out a small chuckle and eddie's eyes widened
"oh shit yeah thank you love you" he said, kissing you fast before running to the phone again
——
it was 2 weeks later and tour rehearsals were in full swing along with corroded coffin recording songs for their new album and mötley crüe doing endless press for their girls, girls, girls album that had just come out
you hadn't seen much of the boys of mötley crüe due to their heavy promo schedule, occasionally seeing vince in the studio helping eddie with some vocals, and of course, mick just appearing randomly, fueling yours and Eddie's inside joke that he truly was an alien with superpowers- reminding you of a specific girl that once escaped hawkins lab that led you to meet eddie
"god i'm just so excited for the tour!" you said excitedly, walking in between Jeff and Gareth into the rehearsal studio
eddie was stuck at the recording studio with dougie for another hour while you accompanied the boys to the rehearsal space as they deemed it necessary you be there since eddie couldn't
"me too! can you believe we're actually here and doing this?" gareth replied, matching the excitement in your voice
the three of you continued to talk as you walked through the corridors of the large building before appearing at the double doors before the room that served as the rehearsal room
you already heard Vince, singing out the last few high notes of 'dancing on glass' when the three of you walked in, standing there watching them finish up the song
once they were done, you clapped along with jeff and gareth and nikki looked at you, smiling
"great guys, take 5... and no bump- we have a lot to get through today" doc said in a grumpy voice before patting mick on the back and turning to talk to some other important looking person
nikki set down his bass carefully on its stand and walked over to where you were standing
"hey stranger" he said and you felt a blush creep onto your face
"hey yourself" you replied back with a smile
"didn't know you were going to be here today" he said casually and you nodded, turning to where gareth was once standing until you realized he was in conversation with jeff and their manager steve
"yeah well eddie's stuck in the studio for another hour and the guys wanted me to come watch them rehearse so here i am" you joked and he chuckled
"well i'm very glad you got to see us perform a little bit of our song" he said
"me too, i'm excited to see it on stage in a month when tour starts" you admitted, tucking your hair behind your ear while nikki gave you a confused look
"wait are you coming with us?" he asked and you nodded
"uh yeah i'm staying with eddie for the entire tour" you smiled and he did a slow nod and pursed his lips
"good to know" he said with a smirk when you heard tommy yell "sixx! we're doing girls now!"
"that's my cue... maybe you should stick around and watch us play, i'm very good at doing girls" he winked at you before turning around and walking back to where his bass sat
it didn't click until you heard the intro to their hit girls girls girls, that you understood the joke and for a second you felt stupid before you realized that nikki was hitting on you again... was he always this persistent with every other girl he's ever slept with? not like it mattered anyways, you were with eddie, and the happiest you've ever been
before you can fathom another thought about nikki, talking to you, the door swung open, and you saw eddie and dougie, walking in with smiles plastered on their faces
eddie immediately walked up to you and gave you the biggest kiss and wrapped his arms around you
"hey you still had like half an hour left before you had to be here?" you questioned with a laugh and he pulled back to look at you
"it's crazy, i just was able to sing every perfect note with the right amount of energy and dougie just knew the exact notes of what to play to help me and it was like everything just clicked and we finally nailed it, so now i can watch the rest of their rehearsal with you" he smiled, lacing your finger together
your heard the drums starting up along with the guitars and bass, and took eddie to one of the couches facing the set up as vince started singing
you've heard this song at least a thousand times, and you liked it too, but as you were sitting with eddie's arm around you, half your back leaned into his chest, it was hard to watch them perform with nikki's eyes fixed on you
this might be a long tour... you thought to yourself
——
the past week had been a blur with traveling all up and down the east coast, but you were finally in New York City, after a month into the tour
you were hanging out in the dressing room while corroded coffin did their sound check
you heard their songs being played in a row so many times within the past month that you took the opportunity to hang out in the dressing room and get a moment to yourself
you had just flipped, open a new magazine, and lay down on one of the plush couches in the room when there is a knock at the door, and before you could even get up to answer it, it was none other than Nikki walking into the room
"oh shit hey sorry didn't know you were in here" he laughed, attempting to turn around to walk out when you got up
"oh, no, it's fine, i just needed a break from everything, god this tour has been so hectic... i don't even know how you can put up with it all" you joked and he chuckled
"with this my dear" he laughed and pulled out a small bottle that you immediately recognized
"ah yeah right" you said, awkwardly smiling at him as he sat down at the table across from you
you aren't uncomfortable with drugs, as your boyfriend used to be a dealer back when you two were in high school but you've never actually seen anyone snort anything right in front of you
"want some?" he asked as he set it up on the table and you shook your head
"no thanks i'm good" you said as he took out a card from his pocket
he did his business and as his head came up, he looked at you, his eyes looking straight into yours
"what?" you asked, secretly praying that he wasn't somehow going to just OD right in front of you with how long he was staring at you before he finally spoke, which calmed your nerves
"i don't know why the fuck i can't stop thinking about you, but jesus christ i've fucked every girl i wanted, and yet you're still on my mind..." he said, fiddling with the card in his hand
you looked at him with raised eyebrows before you finally found the courage to speak again
"oh wow uhm... that's blunt" you choked out
"i'm that type of guy" he said before taking in another line
"listen nikki-"
"god even the way you say my name is so hot" he breathed out and you found yourself blushing yet again at his words
"i will admit years ago before i met eddie... i had the biggest crush on you and yes if i wasn't in the the most amazing loving relationship with eddie and these were all different circumstances, then it probably would've happened, but that's not what's going on and honestly, i highly doubt you'll even remember this conversation in a few hours" you finally said as he just stared at you
the tension was so thick you could chop it with an ax, and it would still be there, but eventually he leaned up from a seat, and took another line before falling back into his chair
"if i could turn back time" he started to sing and you let out a laugh
"if i could find a way" he continued
"oh now you're gonna try and seduce me with cher?" you joked and he let out a laugh
"no just manifesting i build a time machine and go back in time" he said, staring at the ceiling
"you know, for someone who likes to sleep around and not commit or come off as anything more than being a sexual partner to the opposite sex, you do have very romantic words" you admitted with a laugh and he shook his head with a smile
"i think tommy and his stupid hopeless romanticness is rubbing off on me" he laughed and you smiled
you heard cheers and screams from outside your door when it burst open to see a very wet corroded coffin barging into the room
"oh my god babe it started raining when we were outside on the stage and so after we finished up the last song we ran around on the grass and it was the most amazing thing!" eddie yelled walking to you and shaking his hair like a wet dog
"agh! babe!" you squealed with a laugh as he went to pick you up
you turned to run so he wouldn't pick you up to get you all wet but as you did, you fell right into nikki who was getting up
you landed on him he sat in the chair, your bum pressed against his crotch perfectly
"shit sorry!" you said, scrambling to get up
"don't ever apologize for getting this close to me" he quickly whispered, looking into your eyes before you got up, looking at eddie who had his head flipped over as he dried his long hair with a towel
"see you tonight boys! have a good show!" nikki yelled before giving you one last glance and headed out the door
it was an hour before showtime, and you sat with Eddie on the small loveseat in the dressing room, pretending to be in your own little bubble before you had to share your boyfriend with the rest of the world well the rest of the boys were trying to hype each other up and blasting the radio
you ended up telling him about everything that happened with nikki that day, and you sat there feeling guilty for no reason when eddie grabbed your hand and locked his fingers with yours
"y/n there's no reason to feel bad, i'm just thankful o have a girlfriend that's loyal enough to me that when nikki sixx is hitting on her, she doesn't cave, especially when you had the biggest crush on him... i love you and i trust you and just know that nothing you do will ever change that for me" he said, looking at you, bringing his other hand up to gently stroke your cheek
"i love you too eds" you said, immediately feeling better, and you wrapped your arms around his neck and the two of you switched positions so you could lay down together
"and honestly if you're feeling uncomfortable, i have no problem fighting him, he'll probably be too doped up to even realize he's in a fight" he joked causing you to laugh
"thanks but babe have you ever actually won a fight outside DnD?" you questioned and his face dropped into an expression of confusion and thinking
"uh not technically, well this one time-" you cut him off by kissing him and the second you pulled away, you could see the enamoration and love he has for you wash over his face
"when do we stop in Vegas?" you asked and he looked away for a moment as he thought about the schedule
"uh maybe like 2 weeks from tomorrow i think our show is there? why?" he asked and you smiled
"i think we should get married" you said as a smile grew on eddie's face
"you want to elope?" he asked and you nodded
"the whole nikki thing made me further realize that the only man i ever want to be with for the rest of my life is you eds, and i think it'll be romantic just the two of us together"
"sounds like a plan" he said ecstatically, kissing you
"wait what about nancy? didn't you and her already start planning wedding stuff, aren't you each others maids of honor or something?" eddie asked you once you pulled away
"what she doesn't know can't hurt her" you joked
soon enough, it was time for the boys to go on stage, and you kissed Eddie one last time before he ran from the side of the stage into the center as the music started to play
——
you had just finished corroded coffin's set and were in the middle of watching mötley crüe's set, standing in the private section of the crowd to catch a couple of their songs before you headed back to the tour bus
"this next one goes out to someone in particular, hope you know i remembered the conversation babe" nikki said as the beginning of 'you're all i need' started to play
you looked at eddie, who was looking right at you and you both let out a small laugh, knowing about the conversation you had with nikki earlier and how you believed that he wouldn't even realize what he said till just now
"you know i love this song" you joked as you moved his arms around your waist and yours around his neck
you were pulled in close to eachother, enjoying the song as you stared into each others eyes and stealing kisses from eachother, feeling like the only two people in the arena
"yeah, i know you" he smiled
"you could probably write a better ballad that's all about me" you said and eddie shook his head with a smile
"don't you think nikki will be upset i'll have my own personal love song dedicated to only you as your wonderful, soon to be husband?" eddie said with a laugh and you let out a chuckle
"what he doesn't know can't hurt him" you smiled
fin.
177 notes · View notes
httpknjoon · 1 year
Text
hello boyfriend | jjk
Tumblr media
plot | You're drunk. Blaire was supposed to drive home but you want no one except your boyfriend to pick you up. The boyfriend that Blaire completely knows nothing about.
words | 2238
genres | fluff, crack,  secret relationship au, established relationship au, friends to lovers au
pairing | jungkook x reader
warnings | alcohol consumption, cursing
note | this one has been sitting in my docs for months now. but it's here! i missed writing for these two. let me know your thoughts! enjoy reading!
main masterlist  |  drabble series masterlist
Tumblr media
"Wait! Wait! Wait!"
Through the ear-piercing and booming beat in the club, you managed to get the attention of your friends with your rowdy exclamation. There are only three people in your booth but because of the music, you had to speak like you are talking to a crowd. Even though you felt like everything around you was spinning, you managed to stand from the leather seat.
"What... What did you... did you just say?" your body swayed as you slurred your words.
Ella, the one who invited you tonight, repeated, stammering, "I said, being single is good, right? We're both been single for a very, very long time now. So, I guess, you'll understand."
She was a good friend of yours and Blaire, who's sitting next to you, from college. Three of you went to the same university years ago.  After graduating, Ella left the country and worked abroad. Five years later, she came back and immediately set a night to meet you and Blaire to catch up personally. It took three hours of chatting, reminiscing, and drinking to get you to the state you are in now. As the one with the highest drinking tolerance and always the designated driver, Blaire stays sober. While her two other friends came up with this dumb topic.
You tried to be steady on your feet as you looked at Ella, "Tsk. Tsk. That's where you are wrong."
Blaire bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. You were never this drunk since you began working or when you were out with your other friends. However, in college, you became too drunk one time that she had to call Jennie on the phone since you want to talk to your best friend or you’ll cry. But later, you became the one who will snooze off first after just a few drinks. But tonight, you were a little more talkative and vibrant than usual.
"I…” you grinned widely.  “have a boyfriend," you confessed, holding your head high.
Ella being the tipsy person that she is gasped dramatically. Like, she was betrayed or something. On the other hand, Blaire just shakes her head while putting down her almost-empty bottle. She assumes that you are simply babbling nonsense. She vividly remembers you rejecting Jenny’s blind date set up like a year ago, saying that you are happy with being single.
"Okay, okay. Both of you are already drunk. Let's just leave this—"
"Wait! No!" you screamed, cutting off Blaire. "You don't believe me, huh?"
You squinted your eyes at her before reaching for your phone in your purse. With all the alcohol flowing in your body this night, you had the urge to prove something to your friends. You unlocked your phone after two dizzy attempts and immediately rummage through your contacts. Your eyes gleamed when you found Bam’s dad. Jungkook set it up himself out of a joke.
"I'll go to the restroom." Ella was about to leave your booth when you pulled her arm back to her seat again.
"Wait, I'll prove to you that I'm not single. I’m seeing someone for two years now!" you persisted even though no one challenged you.
"But, I need to pee!" she whined and even stomped her heel on the ground.
You placed a finger on your lips, signaling for her to quiet down. You clicked your phone screen and it immediately began ringing. Your two friends heard it too since you put it in loudspeaker mode. Blaire leaned her back on the couch, massaging her forehead. She thought maybe you just clicked on some random contact or number on your phone. She hates to be the one to explain to your contact about your drunk action.
She can't stop herself from sighing, "Y/N, you're drunk. Let’s just go—"
"Hey, princess." 
Tumblr media
"Hey, princess."
Jungkook rubs his eyes as he answered a call from you. His voice was raspier and deeper since he was just woken up from a short nap. He looked at his laptop in front of him and sees the work he left off before dozing off. He leaned his back on his swivel chair while he spotted Bam sleeping on his dog bed. Based on the noisy background from your line, it seems like you're still out. You told him earlier that you're going out with Blaire and Ella, whom he once met years ago too during college. So, he suggested having Bam in his place for the night. You said you’ll go home straight to your place since Blaire would be driving. He agreed, making her promise to contact and update you.
"Hello, boyfriend!" you giggled like a kid, making him smile instantly.
He can tell that you're already intoxicated just by the way you call him with that endearment. It’s one of those secret signs that you already have too many drinks. 
"Hello, girlfriend.” He greeted back with the same tone you used. He cannot help but chuckle. “How are you? Are you having fun there?"
"It's fun! It's great actually!" you chattered. "But... I miss you."
Jungkook can mentally picture you batting your eyelashes while pouting your lips from your location. He chuckled again, "Is that so?"
“Yes.” you huffed. “I want to go home!”
“Well, have you told Blaire? She’ll drive you home, right?”
It took you a long to respond. Jungkook only heard the music playing in the background and a few dialogues of you with Blaire, confusing him a little.
“I was telling you two, let’s go. I’ll drive.” He heard Blaire’s voice. Then another voice,
“Oh my gosh, can I just go pee now?!”
“No! I want my boyfriend to pick me up!”
“Princess–” Jungkook was about to try to talk to you but somebody spoke again. You were heard whining in the background.
“Hi, uhm… Bam’s dad.” Blaire paused as she read his contact name. “Um, you’re Y/N’s boyfriend?”
“Y-Yes.” he stuttered, suddenly feeling a weird knot in his stomach. 
On the other hand, Blaire wanted to ask more about this unknown guy since you never mentioned dating anyone. It was suspicious how suddenly there is Bam’s Dad on your phone. She was contemplating if she should let you go home with this man as she doesn’t have any idea who he is. But she tried to shake off any negative thoughts since she will probably meet him later.
“It’s Blaire, Y/N’s friend, and assumably babysitter for tonight.” she shortly introduced herself, unaware that a close friend of hers is on the other line.  “She may be told you that I will drive them home tonight, which is what I was supposed to do now. But, your girlfriend here is being bratty and–”
“I’m not being bratty. I just miss him.” you cut your friend off with a huff.
“Whatever. Anyways, we’re in Double Aces. Can you pick her up?” Blaire exhaled. Jungkook can imagine her rolling her eyes in annoyance. 
Although taken aback, Jungkook replied, “Uh, of course. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
Did his voice just go deeper?! Why? 
“Great! We’ll be waiting outside the bar, probably in my car. I just need to get these two away from more alcohol.” Blaire hurriedly said before hanging up.
Jungkook was admittedly hesitant at first. Suddenly, it felt like he doesn’t know Blaire and he has to introduce himself again. This time, as your boyfriend. He felt conscious about himself all over again. Thoughts and questions were all over his head before Bam, who woke up, snapped him out by barking. He breathed heavily.
“Okay, okay. Let’s pick up mom,” he told the dog, who followed him behind as he stood up.
Jungkook moved quickly, putting on his hoodie and picking up his keys. He opted to leave Bam since he’ll probably be too excited in the car to see you, even though you’re probably intoxicated. The drive to Double Aces was only fifteen minutes. Just when he arrived in front of the said bar, he saw a familiar car in front of the club.
And there he sees Blaire had your arm linked to her as you sway back and forth. She was holding an open bottle of water,
“Geez. Just drink it.”
Tumblr media
“Okay, okay. Come on, ladies.”
Blaire returned your phone to your hand. You gasped when you saw the call already ended, and your friend rolled her eyes. Ella just watched the interaction between you two with heavy eyes. She raised an eyebrow,
“What do you mean?”
“I meant, we’re leaving. Go pick up your purse, I’m driving you back to your hotel.” Blaire replied.
“How about me?!” you whined.
“Your boyfriend is picking you up. He’s on his way.”
Boyfriend. Curiosity builds up in her chest as Blaire wonders who this mystery guy is. His voice seemed familiar though. But she cannot remember who she heard that voice from.
Your eyes widened in delight, “He is?! Yay!”
After five more minutes of talking to you and Ella, Blaire managed to convince you both to leave the club. She bought two bottles of water for each of you two. Ella was soberer than you so she was easy to follow when told to get in the car. Meanwhile, you insist on waiting outside the car for your boyfriend. Blaire, who just doesn’t want to argue, waited with you. She chain-linked her and your arms since you cannot really stand straight, leaning and moving back and forth. She still laughs at your unusual state.
She chirped, “How can I let you go with this mysterious boyfriend if your state is like this?”
“What?” you turned your head to her, eyes getting droopy. “He’s not mysterious.”
“I don’t know who the guy is, Y/N. You literally just dropped the news like twenty minutes ago. I don’t even know if I can trust him in taking you back to your home.” she replied seriously even though she was unsure you can truly understand her.
You smiled, “Oh, you’ll trust him. I’m sure. You know him.”
You were totally far from being sober. You just let words run out of your mouth, not really thinking anything.
“I know him?” Blaire repeated with a mocking tone. “Well then, what’s his name?”
“Jungkook.” 
A second of silence. Then, Blaire rolled her eyes again.
“Oh, fuck off.”
She laughed as she opened the bottle of water. Jungkook? Impossible. He is in your share friend group and if you two are dating for a couple of years now as you claimed, she would have known it by now. You were about to say more but she cuts you off while shaking her head,
“Geez. Just drink it.”
Blaire watch you guzzle the liquid before she heard a car engine near them. That’s when she sees a very familiar Jeep Wrangler and she knows only one person who drives around with that car. The door from the driver's side opened and as she quickly recognize who it was, she raised her eyebrows and swore it almost went past her forehead.
“What the fuck?”
“Babe!” 
You ran to Jungkook with open arms and immediately hugged him when walked in front of you and Blaire. Blaire remained wide-eyed at her spot. Jungkook tried to smile,
“Hi, Blaire.”
His smile was in between forced and nervous. He had his one hand on your back since you were still hugging him while the other gave a single wave to your statued friend. He knew you can hear his heavy heartbeats with how close your ear is to his chest while Blaire stared at you two.
“Y–You’re…” Blaire stutters as her index finger points between you and him.
Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah… two years.”
You finally turned around, “See? I told you!”
Jungkook laughed at that while the surprise still hasn’t worn off Blaire. Somehow, your drunkenness calmed him down. She was about to say something when you looked at your boyfriend.
“Let’s go home. I’m tired.” you pouted.
“Okay, princess.”
Blaire just stood there, trying to remember the times she has seen you two together alone during group hangouts. Things were starting to make sense. If you didn’t run to hug her, she’s probably still spacing out there.
“I told you, you can trust him,” you whispered before turning to your boyfriend. “Babe, say goodbye to her!”
He followed, still wearing that shy smile on his face. Blaire just broke into a smile too, giving him a pat on his arm.
“I honestly have a lot of questions right now,” she confessed.
“I know. Surprise?” Jungkook joked and they both giggled. But when it dies down, he tried to say something, “Since she’s drunk and will likely forget tomorrow  that she just revealed our relationship, I hope… maybe you can…”
Without any more words or explanation, Blaire nods and formed a reassuring smile, “Yeah, I get it. I’m good at keeping secrets. We can talk all about this later… maybe when your girlfriend is sober and awake.”
She nods her chin to you. You were already resting your head on Jungkook while he holds you by the waist.
“Okay. Thank you, Blaire.” he smiled, weights lifting off his chest.
Blaire watched as Jungkook assist you in walking to his car. You were rambling about random things and he was playing along, nodding, and showing genuine reactions. She cannot help but smile at the interaction.
Tumblr media
taglist rules
TAGLIST 
@hobiuwusunshine @alinerl @bbangtanlove95 @daydreamiies @craftymoonchaos @awseokjin @softiegukk @guns-arizzle @marilo11 @yoonabeo @luvrsofbts @hisbutton-nose @bloopkook @chvngbin @takochelle @suzysuee @wildarmy @cuddlysoftbear @kookoosapple @lost-fantasy @luv-minhyun-world @shydestinyyouth @carzjeon @bbtsficrecs @rosiekoo @fan-ati--c @rjsmochii @jkbabiey @hopeworldjimin @chieftoadturkeynickel @ppeachyttae @tannies-luv @loomipee @ruruvia @sanctify-mp3 @uno7 @stuffy16 @jkshandsomegirlfriend @laylasbunbunny @di0rgguk @tswisal1 @mediumcatt @amara-mars 
PERMANENT TAGLIST
@dunixxd @cixrosie @moonchild1 @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi  @starbtslove  @missseoulite @alpacaseoks @vanntaesworld @kenqki @chimchimmarie @pixybear 
919 notes · View notes
formulakatya · 1 year
Text
SLOW DOWN | MICK SCHUMACHER
“slow down, you crazy child, you’re so ambitious for a juvenile but then if you’re so smart tell me why are you still so afraid?”
Tumblr media
not my gif :)
summary: falling victim to your high ambition and expectations, you’re lucky that mick is there to help you work through the burn out
pairing: mick schumacher x reader
notes: idk i just love ‘vienna’ by billy joel, unedited (sorry) because my best ideas come quickly and im writing on tumblr for whatever reason when i should’ve done this on google docs
warnings: mentions of burnout and mental health
“this is so stupid!”
your statement catching his attention, mick looked up from his phone as angie quickly ran over to you as you lightly threw your pen on the table. staring at the physics question again, you quickly picked your pen back up before furiously scribbling your answer to the question.
you were close to ripping your hair out at this point, trying to figure out where you had gone wrong as you repeated the question under your breath, justifying each step of your answer.
and though your oblivion to the state you were slowly spiralling into, mick had recognised it all too well as your current position only confirmed the suspicion he had for the past 2 days or so.
“you should take a break, liebling,” mick spoke, petting angie as the dog came back to him as he sat on the edge of your shared bed. “come on!”
“mick, i can’t,” you sighed, not looking up from your notebook as you furiously scribbled on your notebook, putting your pen down so you could turn to look at him. “i’ve got so much to do and there’s so little time! there’s just too much going on…”
“what do you have to do? i can try to help…”
“past papers, some revision and more studying, i’ve finished my homework but i have loads of studying to do for finals that are in like two weeks,” you let out a sigh as you flipped through the papers scattered on your desk. “then i have to go to the gym and i’ve got training, my tennis match is coming up.”
“slow down,” mick chuckled, “you’ve done enough studying, more than enough throughout the past month or so. you’ll be fine, you don’t have to keep pushing this much.”
“but my grade mick! my grade!” you stressed, desperation evident as you spoke, “it has to be good! it’s either great or nothing. and i still have more to do, i still haven’t brought angie out on a walk and i have to run errands and get some stuff.”
you were spiralling, it was obvious. and with so much on your plate, mick couldn’t blame you for it. though he understood your worries and ambition, he still couldn’t help but want you to slow down and take a break. maybe it was out a selfishness, having wanting to spend a day with you ever since he came back to switzerland but it was also out of concern.
he needed you to cool down before you completely burnt out.
you were highly ambitious and a high achiever for as long as he had known you— only ever wanting to be the best in nearly everything you did from sports to academics. and though the results showed it’s benefits, the mindset also came with its downsides.
“it’s okay to take a break for a day or two, and most importantly, it’s okay to rest. you’re only ever human, and so you can’t do everything at once. there’s no reason to feel guilty,” he let out a laugh as he replied to the response he could foresee coming. “you can finish this last bit of work but promise me you’ll take a break.”
“yeah but-“
“no arguments,” mick cut you off before you could continue. “we’ll bring angie out and get some ice cream or we can do something else. i don’t want you burning out. doing things at a slow pace with breaks will always be better than overdoing things and burning out because reigniting a flame isn’t always easy”
422 notes · View notes
reads4hotch · 1 year
Text
little crush
aaron hotchner × fem!BAU!reader
summary: you're tired of your boss, and best friend, not making a move on you no matter how much he wants to, so one night you decide to take matters into your own hands.
warnings: dirty talk, kinda smutty, alcohol consumption, heavy make out, reader is going commando, pls tell me if i'm missing something
note: i was telling @ihavemanyhusbands about having ✨dirty thoughts✨ about hotch during my class and i promised to share my ideas w her. and while editing my doc i ended up with this piece. the first piece i managed to fully write and finish since my writer's block started 2 years ago and i couldn't be happier (or more nervous) about it. also hi @beelmons this is it🙈 i love you guys too fucking much pls, ty for everything🥺💖
note 2: also, this started as one of the chapters for the series i'm writing of bau!bestfriend!reader w Hotch where they would have sex for the first time, buuuuut since i ended up discarding this idea, i thought i could share this piece with you. hope u enjoy!💖
two days into a case with almost no leads, aaron felt the stress consuming him. and apparently it was too obvious for everyone. the first thing coming out of your lips when you entered his hotel room in the middle of the night, fully aware that he was still awake, had been an:
“damn Hotchner, the stress is really ‘bout to eat you alive, huh?” you said teasingly.
this wasn’t rare. you were comfortable around him and he was comfortable around you. you two were friends, good friends actually, and had been for a while now. there was no one in the world he trusted more than you, and moments so casual yet so intimate like this were very common between you.
which made him hate even more the tension he felt. you were just keeping him company, having a conversation to try and relax a little from the hard day you two had.
and there he was, fighting every cell on his body to not look at you for too long, to not let his mind wander with images of you towards dangerous territory…
you were giving him such a hard time ever since you walked through his door only wearing a tiny and very delicate silk nightgown and nothing else... not even something underneath it. a detail he had discover while you were walking around the nightstand, the lamp on it illuminating your silhouette so intensely that the thin fabric of your dress became slightly see through. truly, your lack of panties was not that visible, in fact, he probably wouldn’t have noticed if it wasn’t because he was paying too much attention. his eyes had been fixed on you, completely entranced, as you talked on the phone with Morgan over some details of the current case. it felt impossible for him to look away from your figure and he indulged himself for a moment as you were too distracted on the conversation to pay attention to him. or so he thought.
you were now sitting on the border of the small desk in the hotel room, aaron sitting on a chair in front of you, a glass of whiskey in hand and his mind fully fixating on the image of your exposed thighs, since your already short dress had rolled up from the position you were in, barely covering you in the right parts. he cursed himself, feeling awful for objectifying you like this. it was only a stupid, little, simple dress -that made you look hot as hell- and he was losing his head over it.
“now,” your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, “i have a very special question for you…”, you said placing your glass of water next to you in the desk.
“shoot”, he answered playfully before taking another sip of his drink. he knew you were down for no good as the mischievous smile appeared on your face.
“how many times have you cum all over your hands while thinking of me?”
he choked on his drink and started coughing. he could hear you chuckling at his reaction.
“YN, no, i-…”
“don’t even try.”
he stared at you for a moment, how could you possibly knew? he was sure he was being cautious, he forced himself to look away from you all the time, he fought so hard against all his urges and desires so no one could learn about them, specially you. but with the confidence that radiated from you he could tell you knew everything, and you have for a while. this wasn’t news to you.
he did his best to fake some confidence, he had to in order to play your game.
“you’re being quite bold” his voice was full of arrogance, taking another sip of his drink before speaking again, “considering the fact that you don’t even know if i like you,” he tried to act -and look- calm, the exact opposite of how he was truly feeling.
“darling, you're not as subtle as you think you are”, the petname fell from your lips like a sweet curse. you had him at the palm of your hands and you knew that… how he had lost his mind the second he saw you for the first time, how crazy for you he was since that day… “i mean, you’re so hard to read, not even an entire team of experts profilers, hell, i bet not even Rossi knows about this little crush of yours”
it wasn’t a little crush and you knew that too. that’s why you were in full control here.
“and yet you saw through me…”, he wanted to believe his disinterest was credible… but he was truly a fool when it came to you.
“i always see through you, darling”, you were outright mocking him, full on using the power you had on him. “c’mon, i learned how to read people’s emotions since i was a little kid. you can surely trick the best agents of the FBI sir, but not me”.
he knew that, from the very beginning. that was probably one of the main reasons why you two became friends so easily. he could pretend perfectly well with the rest of the world, but not with you. if anyone knew how to play pretend it was you, too many times he had witness your acting skills while working a case, the whole team had agreed from the beginning that you could easily go for an acting career if you wanted to and become very successful at it. and if you were capable of faking perfectly, you were capable of knowing when someone else was faking as well. which is why he now felt stupid for even daring to think he could hide his feelings from you.
“mmm, i’m sorry sweetie, but i couldn’t keep waiting for you to find the courage to do something about this anymore…”, you touch the tip of his nose gently with a small bop! he took in a sharp breath, trying to clear his mind to do something.
“YN, YN, this isn’t right. that’s why i did nothing about it. do you know how much this could jeopardize your career? what everyone will say if they find out that you and me… your boss… that we…” but once again, your laugh interrupted him.
“that can only happen if they find out”, the smirk never left your face, leaning towards him to talk in a more intimate way, “so tell me, aaron hotchner, are you good at keeping secrets?” the teasing in your voice, the way your face was so close to him he could admire perfectly every little detail of your features…, how was he supposed to act rationally and not give in to his desires when you looked so fucking beautiful?
“cat ate your tongue?” you chuckled, leaning back to your old position, pulling him out of his trance, “c’mon Hotchner, you didn’t answer my first question”
what was he to do now? he was doomed. there was not scaping this anymore. and to be honest he was beginning to question why did he do it in the first place. the memories of those long nights he pleasured himself at the thought of you came rushing in on his mind… fuck it.
he swallowed the knot that was forming on his throat, “too many to count”, he whispered, completely unable to look at you.
“mm, sorry, i couldn’t hear you, what?” you mocked him.
“too many to count” he finally let out looking up just to catch your very much amused expression, “i’ve had thought about you in… not very appropriate ways… too many times to count”.
your malicious smile only grew wider at his confession.
“would you like to show me what you’ve thought about?”, you said in a sweet and innocent tone, leaning towards him and placing your hands on his chest, looking at him through your lashes.
“are you sure you want this?” he put his hands on top of yours, pressing them gently against him.
instead of replying you leaned forwards again, your face was so close to his he could feel your breath on his skin, you tilted your head slightly so your nose could caressed up his jawline delicately until your lips reached the level of his ear, almost touching it, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. Oh, he was doomed.
you felt him tense as you whispered: “are you sure you don’t want to bury your cock inside me?”.
suddenly it became hard to breath, words and oxygen stuck inside him as a raging desire traveled through his body, making it impossible for him to hold back the loud groan that came out of his mouth.
he straightened himself on his sit, then left his drink next to yours on the desk, “talk to your boss with more respect”, the usual commanding tone he used at work made its appearance, he was clearly trying to take back some of the control.
“is that what you want from me sir? to respect you?”, you inclined your head slightly, the purest most innocent look in your eyes, although the look on his face told you he didn’t buy your little act at all.
“yes”, his intense gaze burning into your skin.
“then i’d be more than happy to do anything you want me to, sir, out of respect, obviously”.
you gave in. closing the little distance left between you and capturing aaron’s lips in a passionate kiss. you felt his hands on your waist first, traveling south to grab your thighs, pulling them gently. you understood the message, moving to straddle him, feeling how his firm strong legs gave support to your body as you adjust yourself on top of him.
breathlessly the two of you pulled away breaking the kiss, but not even seconds later his hands grabbed your face to pull you into another kiss. he was desperate and it showed. but honestly? so were you.
with the new position you couldn’t help moving your hips against his, rubbing your bare cunt against the growing bulge inside his pants, pleasure growing inside you with every move.
“such a fucking tease”, he said as your mouth moved to his cheek and then to his neck, placing gentle kisses all over him, “what shall i do with you?” his grip on your hips tightened, keeping you still. you moaned at the pressure on your bare clit against the soaked fabric of his pants.
“anything you want, sir”, you stop your attention on his neck to look at him, and he couldn’t help but groan at the sight of you biting your lower lip expectantly, your hands wandering all over his chest.
“how?”, he guided your hips, pressing you harder against his crotch, a moan scaping your lips from the pleasure it created, “like a good girl or like a slut?” it was his time to tease you now, guiding you again to keep grinding on him. you threw your head back at the pleasure, exposing your neck to him. he couldn’t wait to leave marks all over it.
“trust me sir, for you, i could be anything”, you answered almost breathlessly, your movements becoming more eager by the second, “because i love being a good girl”, you looked at him again with that pure, innocent face of yours before rotating your hips on him, making him moan.
“good girls don’t dress like whores for their boss to see”, the small smack of his massive hand on your ass made you moan louder than before.
“can you blame me? i can’t help to be a slut for you”, your hands traveled to his hands, guiding them to your hips, where the edge of your nightgown stood, “but if you don’t like it, we can take it off…”, you looked to him through your lashes once again, knowing perfectly well the effect it had on him, guiding his hands to pull up your dress at a painfully slow pace.
“no”, he stop your movements, “not until i’ve fucked the shit out of you in it”.
“mm yes sir, please, please do it”, rubbing yourself against him with a new-founded intensity.
“you want me to fuck you?” his hands started to wander dangerously around your waist and up your body.
“oh...-oh! yes sir, please, pleaseee” he was making you desperate, desperate for his touch, desperate for more.
“where?” he chuckled at your pitiful sounds as he finally grabbed your breasts with harshness, pinching and twisting both of your nipples.
“anywhere! i’m entirely yours... fuck, wow!” you were almost screaming and he knew he could come just from seeing you fall apart from his touch.
“first, you’re going to be a good slut and suck me off,” he stopped your moves and laugh at the groan you let out in protest at the interrupted pleasure, “are we clear?” the firmness in his voice sent shivers down your spine.
“yes sir,” you couldn’t help but pout at him, his hands keeping you in your place, unable to move. one of his hands left your waist to softle caress your cheek.
“can i come in your mouth?” this time his voice was softer.
“yes sir,” aaron was impressed at the effect you took on him, one look at you and he was a goner. and now the idea of what he was about to do was painfully pleasant, “but, only on one condition” you interrupted his train of thoughts, your hands fiddling with the first button of his shirt,.
“what is it?” anything. for you, he would do anything.
but he certainly wasn’t ready to hear your request.
“that you pretty please come inside me later” you said in the sweetest tone he had ever heard. he could hardly swallow and you had to fight the urge not to smile triumphantly at the shock on his face.
“are you sure?” he asked nervously. god, you were the end of him.
“yes sir, very”
“you shouldn’t have told me that”
“why, sir?”
“because now i’m going to make sure all of your holes are always full, how does that sound?” now it was his time to mock you as you loudly moaned at his proposal.
“oh! sounds perfect sir, please” you desperately tried to free yourself from his control to grind yourself against him again.
“you truly are the biggest cumslut i’ve ever met, i haven’t even fuck you yet and you already want to dry me entirely”, he chuckled at your poor attempts to get some pleasure.
“for you only, sir”, you started blinking fast, a look on seduction of your face. he smiled knowingly. you were trying to coerce him into letting you move again.
“i can’t wait to have my seed flooding out of you”, he said caressing your face with one of his hands, his thumb ghosting over your lips.
“mmm, sir, please, stop teasing”, you pouted after you tried to capture his thumb with your lips and he quickly put it away.
“fuck, you really want that, do you?” he truly was surprise at how you seemed to go feral with the idea of him filling you with his cum. and god was he happy to fulfill that wish of yours.
“yes sir, please, i want nothing more”, you pleaded.
“prove it then, on your knees”.
562 notes · View notes
amethystfairy1 · 23 days
Note
What’s your writing process? Like do you do outlines or just jump right into plot etc… I’m a young writer (14) and really admire your work and want to get better myself. Ty!
✨WRITING PROCESS✨
Tumblr media
...
this.
this is my writing process.
OK TO BE REAL THO
Firstly, I don't do outlines.
I KNOW THAT'S BAD BUT I JUST DON'T
What I usually do is word vomit whatever idea I have for a fic into a notes file.
For example! Here's a little random nonsense I just copied verbatim from my notes file that might look familiar!
Tango and Z in sky, blue cracks, Z decides to drop a container with info and his phone number into the rift. He wants to talk to the hybrids, maybe he’s some sort of researcher, he went AWOL from the biotech Institute, something like that. But he is human. Then, tango finds it, or it is brought to him, because he is a direct aid to doc in the labs. Tango ends up deciding to call Z, and they end up becoming really good friends, but only over the phone. Have some fun stuff, where both Z and tango are getting a crush, but how can you crush on someone you’ve never even seen? Tango is freaking out, because he’s not the type of hybrid that can pass as human. he knows he’ll never be able to meet Z face to face. But Z is a little more determined that he gives him credit for. Also have X be a side character in the labs, voidwalker, something like that! Maybe Z is an AWOL scientist, and scar, picked him up to work in his hot guy lab, with cub.
This is the blurb that spawned the Zedango arc in TTSBC.
In case you can't tell I use the dictation function in notes because like 90% of the time I have ideas while I'm driving so I'll just tell my phone to write down whatever I'm thinking and then talk it out
So yeah! I do this, which I dunno is kinda like an outline? I do it for more or less all of my fics.
As far as other stuff, I think the best advice I can give about being a "better writer", which has to do with your question about 'jumping into plot' is to know about your characters and your world , even if you don't plan to share that information in the piece you are writing, or even like, ever.
It's the way you make your characters feel like people. I was actually talking about this with @honeylashofficial not to long ago! You should know why your characters make the choices they do, even if that information never comes up. You should know what they like and dislike and why, if they have traumas then how would those traumas affects them in small daily ways?
Jimmy in TTSBC grew used to being threatened for his wings, so now he has a love-hate relationship with them.
Tango spent a long time without a truly safe place to sleep as a child, so now he has insomnia because he has an internalized fear of falling asleep/being vulnerable.
Zed was treated very poorly at his previous workplace, and he had a terrible experience where his professional lifes work was torn to shreds in front of him, so his self-esteem is very low, and he tends to be very self-deprecating even in a joking fashion.
Cub has sensory issues that severely impact his mood because of his warden hybrid traits, so he typically keeps himself very low energy as a baseline to avoid seeming like he has mood swings.
Even little stuff like what characters notice about their surroundings! Again in TTSBC, Jimmy pays close attention to the weather and the sky, Scott notices people features and expressions, Cub has more detailed thoughts about sounds than he does about sights, stuff like that!
Also I'm gonna give ya the piece of advice no one wants to hear when they're just starting. Just write. Write a TON.
Write even if you only have half an idea. Write even if you think it's gonna be bad. Write if you have even the slightest smallest bit of a motivation to do so, just WRITE WRITE WRITE.
And I will say while I could just be one of the lucky ones, I have been posting on various fanfic websites since I was 13. And in all that time I can count on one hand the amount of hate/negative comments I have received. Over a DECADE of writing and posting and I’ve written and posted A LOT and I have only ever been met with kindness, excitement, and encouragement.
Also, the delete button exists for a reason. You curate your experience on these websites. Especially on A03, with the ability to reply to comments, you can make very clear very quickly what sort of comments you want, which ones you don't, and the vast vast vast majority will be people who are excited about your work and want to encourage you!
If you need a mood booster or some encouragement, you can find my old old stuff on FF.net under the same penname, Amethystfairy1. Just promise you won't come back over here and send asks laughing at me for how bad those stories are, ok? 😆
My point is, you learn best by doing. As you write you will get a feel for your characters, for how they interact and react, for what your specific writing style is going to be and what you enjoy writing the most. And write what you enjoy! Of course you should stretch your writing style, but also make sure you never feel like you're slogging through your writing, especially if it's for fun or creative!
OH ONE MORE THING! 👏
I HIGHLY RECCOMEND DOING A WRITING CHALLENGE!
Stuff like Whumptober, Febuwhump, Novemcomfort, AU-gust, or different fandom weeks that come up, you can find them all over tumblr! Try to participate in one of those and get in as many days as you can! It'll make you write a lot in a short period of time, and you won't have time to overthink it, which I believe is really helpful for finding your writing style and getting comfortable with writing and posting content! It'll also give you a connection to a community of other writers who are participating, especially if you plan to post your updates to tumblr like I do!
Whatever you do on your writing journey, I hope it brings you much joy, fun, and creativity! You'll create something beautiful, I just know it! 💖
32 notes · View notes
physalian · 6 months
Text
Writing with Executive Dysfunction (or how to lower the barrier of entry)
So you want to write a book, but all you have is a cool one-liner, a niche super power you want to explore, and the blurry image of a love interest with a two-syllable kind of name. You don’t know where to start, what to tackle first, how to jump in the deep end.
Can you write the ending first? What if you want this really cool gimmick in a fight scene but can’t write action to save your life? Do you start in media res or with a prologue, or with the character starting their daily routine? Do you write the villain’s POV first?
Or do you start with an outline, character sheets, a title, summary, your themes and motifs? How many pages and pages of worldbuilding notes should you have built up before you’re good to tackle the first page? You’ve heard time and again the critical importance of the first three sentences. The first chapter if your audience is generous.
The pressure mounts to be unique, but not try-hard, descriptive but not flowery, intriguing, but not confusing, all in the first hundred or so words. You sit there staring at the little blinking black line on your blank page… and the idea gets shelved for another day. It collects virtual dust in the backlogs of your computer, forgotten until you have to clear out space on your hard drive and stumble across unspent potential.
Everyone and their dog has their own bits of writing advice and I’m sure I’m about to echo tips that have been around the block once or twice, but there are a few I don’t see talked about enough.
Whether you suffer from severe procrastination, fear of failure before you even begin, the overwhelming limitlessness of choice, or just can’t sit down and dedicate any time to see what happens, this list might be for you.
1. Write Every Day
This is nothing new, but I’m going to tackle the implementation of such a habit over why it’s important. You already know why it’s important. Writing every day doesn’t demand a full page of a Word doc, or 200 words before you can get up and do something else. Sometime a witty dialogue exchange comes to mind while you’re doing dishes – write that down.
Or you saw a cool name for a character in a commercial – write that down.
Or you had a dream about your characters in a high-octane street chase – write down the synopsis.
Personally, I use Apple Notes. It’s free, I can log-in to iCloud through a browser and keep writing, and my phone is always with me. I have dedicated folders to sort which notes belong to which concepts.
Disclaimer: Apple Notes is meant for exactly that: Note taking. I take it to the extremes, but it’s not a word processer. It’s not meant for anything more strenuous than putting virtual pen to virtual paper.
I build up so many variations of scene ideas and concepts for character arcs that my ‘notes’ for any given book can be as long as a full-length novel. Most of the time, admittedly, those ideas get outdated fast as I move on to bigger and better things, but the point is this: I never would move on to better things if I didn’t have somewhere to start.
I have a personal grudge against OneDrive for a sync failure losing 20k words of a WIP, so most of my writing is done through Google Docs and saved to Google Drive. It’s not the most powerful word processor, but you don’t have to worry about formatting until the very end and can export later. It’s free, like Apple Notes (assuming you have an iPhone), and the smart phone app for Google programs works phenomenally better than the MS Word app – so once again, the barrier for being within reach of places to jot down ideas is lowered. My phone is always with me.
It doesn’t have to be digital – carry around a journal or a notebook or a legal pad if you want. Whatever gets your creative juices flowing. The point is to have somewhere to take all the ideas you have in your head and get them onto paper the moment inspiration strikes.
2. Writing is Supposed to be Fun
The dreaded writer’s block, scourge of authors everywhere. You’ve reached the point in your manuscript where you’ve caught up to the epic adventure you’ve written in your head. The little writer in your brain has gone on strike and you’re left in the doldrums of how to transition from one chapter to the next. One idea to the next. One scene, one line of dialogue.
Answer: Skip it.
Unless you have a hard deadline to make, writing is supposed to be fun. Your best work comes when you’re passionate about doing it, not when you’re holding your fingers hostage to put something on the page or else.
When you start getting frustrated, walk away. When you get stressed, walk away. The manuscript will still be there once you’ve slept on it for a day or two and you’ll be glad for it. Or, write a different scene. Write a hypothetical scene (more on this point later). Write anything you want and come back to the hard parts later. The gaps will fill eventually, and if they don’t—consider what about that transition or scene is so hard and consider axing it entirely. If it’s frustrating for you, it’s probably boring or unimportant to the reader.
3. Script it
My favorite writer’s crutch is to make a skeleton of the scene I want to have, fill it with dialogue, and move on. The pretty thematic narrative can come later. It’s halfway between an outline and a first draft and, for me, someone to whom dialogue comes easier than narrative, this is another barrier removed to letting creativity flow.
I don’t have to think about dialogue tags or movement of a scene or how exactly I want to structure a sentence or describe the setting. Scripting lets me sus out the pacing of a given scene, test run a conversation I have in my head to see if it might really work before investing all the time and effort of a fully fleshed out first draft, only to erase it all later.
You can do this mid-narrative, too. If you just want to skip over a couple lines that aren’t coming naturally to you, script a vague sense of stage directions until you get to easier narrative and come back later.
When I say scripting, mine look something like this:
Character A (ChA): [position within the setting, tone of voice, any notable gesture or action that enhances the dialogue] “Dialogue.” [specific dialogue tag, if necessary] … (often a paragraph break) … “Dialogue.” Character B (ChB): “Dialogue.” [emotion, reaction, details about the setting that are now important, new revelations by the narrating POV] … “Dialogue,” [action. Tonal shift. Movement] ChA: “Dialogue.” [action] … (scene continues)
In practice:
… ChA: [kicks back against the wall of the room, arms crossed. Annoyed, waiting for ChB to speak first, but they don’t] “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to leave?” [head tilts, still waiting on an answer ChB isn’t giving] “All you had to do was ask.” ChB: “You were having fun,” [quiet, wringing their hands in their lap on the edge of the bed] “You wanted me there. So I was there.” [huffs, flips their hair back. Not sure how many times they’ve had this conversation. Will always hate parties, not going to suddenly like them just because ChA is there] “You can either have me there, or make sure I’m comfortable. You can’t have both.” ChA: “So now I’m the bad guy.” [foot thumps on the floor like a judge’s gavel] …
Scripting also lets you fill a scene with multiple new characters before you figure out their names or descriptions, tagging their lines with the bare minimum. I often test out entire action scenes (which I loathe writing) in script form, so I know I’m satisfied with the pacing, blocking, and amount of movement before I lock it in and write the first draft of actual narrative. It also forces you to make sure your characters are taking actions and not just sitting at a table like talking mannequins.
Transitioning from script to narrative can be mighty tedious sometimes if you try to fit in chunks of narrative in the exact places you left on your initial pass. Fictional prose is organic, so let it breathe.
Maybe you let a character monologue for too long, or they have too much movement in a scene that becomes unnatural and clunky. Or the entire scene ran away from you because the conversation was just that good. Whatever the case, a script, bare minimum, gets your foot in the door.
4. Write Fanfic
I like sci-fi and fantasy. I also like taking my sci-fi and fantasy characters and throwing them into ‘fanfics’ to test out relationships and start to get a feel for what makes them unique from the rest of the cast.
Sometimes the setting changes to something mundane, sometimes it’s a hypothetical scene that the current pacing of the narrative just doesn’t have room for, or it’s a flashback you’ll never include but want to have written so it’s concrete when you reference it in the present.
It also helps you fall in love with your characters when you can write them without consequence, doing whatever, doing whoever, saying whatever, going wherever. In fanfic, their personalities can start to write themselves and you discover them as you write them. And, hey, sometimes you come up with a concept so good, you change the entire real narrative around to fit it.
All your attention doesn’t have to be on the story you’re actually writing.
5. Keep All of Your Deleted Scenes
I keep so many of mine, the ‘deleted scenes’ doc of one book is 40k words longer than the actual manuscript, filled with numerous variations of the same scene written over and over again in vain trying to keep something that no longer works.
Keep them for several reasons:
It reminds you of how far you’ve come.
You can pick through the bones for bits of dialogue and setting descriptors even if the majority is trashed.
You remind yourself of what didn’t work before, so you don’t fall in that same trap again.
If you change your mind, all you have to do is copy-paste it back in.
6. Remember First Drafts are First Drafts
Let the word spew flow forth from your fingers and don’t look back and start questioning every decision and all its flaws until your creativity tank starts sputtering on empty. It’s supposed to be messy, it’s supposed to have plot holes and typos and inconsistencies and things to fact-check. If you start hyper-fixating on making sure your manuscript has absolutely no errors before moving on to the next chapter, it will never get written, and you’ll convince yourself you’re a terrible writer.
Writing is easy. Revisions are hard. Just as storytelling doesn’t have to be linear, neither does the writing process. If that critical first line just won’t come to you, stuff a mediocre one in its place and move on. Write the ending first. Write all the romantic entanglements first. Write the big climactic argument first and figure out how the rest falls into place around your beautiful centerpiece.
But remember: You do, at some point, have to write the hard stuff. Hopefully, when the time comes, you look at all the rest you’ve written and are proud enough of your progress that those daunting scenes that looked impossible before become much more approachable now. Do it for your future readers who want to know how it ends. Do it for your characters. Do it for you.
40 notes · View notes
embyrinitalics · 3 months
Note
Hi 😍
Hap hap new year!
How is the novel going? Are you enjoying the process?
This is so sweet! Thank you for asking!
Since this is the first original novel I'm actually approaching seriously and my process is totally different from normal, I'm going to use this ask as an excuse to journal about it. So, fair warning, you're probably about to get way more info than you bargained for. 😁 ONWARD!
I think first and foremost the process has been weird because I don't KNOW these characters. I've been writing Link and Zelda for 20+ years and even when I throw them into alternate universes or give them personality transplants I still can just dive right in. Starting this from scratch has been a lot of world building and a lot of taking my characters out on "dates" which aren't so much dates as they are writing excursions into the emotionally tormented unknown to see how they react. 😂
I jot down all the ideas that randomly strike me in this handy dandy notebook that I carry around everywhere just in case:
Tumblr media
And that's a bit of a funny story. I love having notebooks to write stuff down in, but I recently discovered thanks to the course I took that I place very low value on my writing (and by extension myself in general I guess oops) so I never bought myself a nice notebook just for story notes because that would've been a waste of 5 dollars.
But between Emma Dhesi's course pushing me to assign appropriate value to myself and Ellen Brock's Intuitive Pantser video assuring me that my urges to compile all my notes into a notebook was good for my brain and not just a waste of time and paper, I eventually went out and spent that 5 bucks (actually $20—three notebooks for future endeavors!). And I LOVE MY NOTEBOOK! 🥰
Another thing I wouldn't have spent the money on in the past but took the plunge on is the Atticus program.
Tumblr media
It's a project organizer, word processor, and book formatting software. I'm really enjoying it! It has a toggle window on the side where you can see how your book will look on various devices or in print, and easy buttons for things like writing sprints, word count goals, deadlines, and the like. It also makes me feel fancier than google docs ever did, so there's that. 😎
Emma Dhesi is also a big proponent of Goal Anchors—small things you accomplish and surround yourself with that cyclically trains your brain to believe that your dream is possible, and you are in the process of achieving it. (It also gives you goals you can do that move you closer to finishing your book that isn't actual writing, in case that feels intimidating.)
So I made an image of the title page the background on my phone, to remind myself that it's real and it's happening. I decluttered my writing room and started finding items to make it a comfortable creative space for myself. I went to the store for the express purpose of purchasing a special tea to drink while I write. I spent time making a playlist of songs with just the right vibes.
I also found the best candle scent ever, only wear these super comfy slippers in there, and just got myself this slammin t-shirt from Gideon's Bakehouse to wear. (Her name is Poppy. She's on a new path of self-discovery and adventure, just like me.)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
But most of all, Emma insists that confidence comes from doing, and that the best way to write a book is to make a routine of it. She suggested starting with 20 minutes three times a week. I was up to between 1-2 hours a day starting at 7am, 5-6 days a week before I went on vacation and upended everything. 😂
So I guess that means I'm enjoying it! It's still scary and frustrating and directionless sometimes but more than anything it's just happening, which is the coolest thing ever.
21 notes · View notes
ilikepjo24 · 7 months
Text
Fanfic writers, what is your work process? Be brutally honest.
Mine is:
I get an idea from a movie/book/song/video/chat/conversation/other fanfic/real life event/no where in particular.
I sit and think about the idea for long enough to get invested.
If the inspiration is a movie/real life event/conversation, I record it. If it's a song/video, I save the link. If it's a book, I take a picture of the page. If it's a chat/other fanfic, I take a screenshot of it. If it's nothing in particular, I just write it down, along with the situation I was in when the idea sparked (drinking coffee, completing a task, ect) so that I remember what the original vibe of the idea was.
I create a note in my phone where I have the recording/link/picture/screenshot/note that created the idea and then I type out all the extra details I came up with in step 2.
I spend a couple of days brainstorming and deciding what are all the events/dialogue/interactions I want my fic to have.
I create a timeline of all the events and add that to the notes app.
I create the fanfic in my head in the form of a movie, so that my brain can visualize what dialogue choices flow best, how much attention I want to pay in the background during each scene, and what is the body language, tone of voice and facial expressions I want the characters to desplay.
I make a video of myself narrating the movie and its details, while mimicking the body language, so that I won't forget the details and I add it to my notes app.
I look back at the video and wonder what instructions I'd give if it was a movie and I was a director, to get a better grasp of how I want all the movement to be described in text.
I make a voice recording of my director instructions so I can listen to myself say it and see if the instructions are formed in a way that would flow well on paper, and if it's not I redo it and add it to my notes.
I find pictures of all the objects/people I want to describe and follow a similar process with the voice recordings so that I can see if the descriptions flow pleasantly and then I add that recording to my notes too.
In the scenes where the background is important, I draw an layout of the room and add all the objects to see if it feels realistic for a room of the specific dimensions to fit all those objects in a way that isn't awkward and then I add the drawing to my notes.
It's been 18 months since I got the original idea and now all the prep is done, so I open a new Google doc and start making a first draft while constantly checking my notes app from reference.
I always complete the first draft in one sitting and now with that first draft and the note as references, I start writing a second draft, which often takes more than one sittings.
After the second draft is done, I open wordhippo (website) to find other words I could use in parts where I feel like the wording could be better and out of the second draft, I create a third one.
I go over the form of the sentences/paragraphs to make sure the fic is balanced properly.
I check for any spelling and grammar errors and since I don't have a beta reader, this third draft is the final product.
It's been 50 years since I got the idea and I finally post.
I look back in regret because I don't like the way it turned out but I don't take it down cause people leave kudos, so I must have done something right.
What is your 🫵work process?
No pressure tags: @waterfire1848 @bellatrixobsessed1 @timur-pannonicus @akiizayoi4869 @hello-nichya-here @azulas-daddy-kink
51 notes · View notes
korbei · 2 years
Text
My Advice for Adults With ADHD
When you are an adult with ADHD, it can be difficult to find advice online that isn't aimed at parents who have children with ADHD, or wasn’t written by someone who actually has ADHD. This has been a frustration of mine for many years, so I finally sat myself down and wrote out a list of my favorite ways to manage my ADHD as an adult. For background, I am a 23 year old woman who was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8, and I am currently in college getting a BA in history with plans to remain in academia as a full-time historian. The following list is what I have developed throughout high school and university to be successful.
*Disclaimer- All of the following tips are things that I developed on my own through years of experience. If any of the following advice has been stated by others previously it is purely a coincidence.
Remembering Things
Don’t bother with a traditional planner. As most people with ADHD know, they rarely work for us. A much better option is a small whiteboard/dry erase calendar or even just post-it notes stuck on the wall where you can write your reminders. These are things that we can put in our direct line of sight where we can clearly see them, unlike a planner that can be put down and forgotten about.
When you need to remember to do something, set an alarm on your phone immediately for when you need to start it or have it done by. This is much more effective than using your phone calendar or a reminder app because it’s a lot harder to miss or ignore an alarm going off than it is to miss a regular notification. I recommend using the most obnoxious alarm tone possible.
Carry a small notepad with you. Whenever you think of something that you need to remember to do or have a thought that you don’t want to forget, write it down immediately. Don’t assume that you’ll remember it later. It’s also beneficial to do this because getting the thought out of your mind and onto paper can prevent the thought from distracting you. This can also be done in your phone’s notes app if you are the kind of person that uses the notes app often.
Getting Stuff Done
Keep your to-do lists small and manageable. Having any more than 5 things on a to-do list is likely going to be more overwhelming than helpful, so keep it short. Decide what things need to be completed most urgently and what can wait.
Surprisingly simple actions can help fight procrastination and help initiate tasks. If you have been putting something off, the quick actions of standing up, closing your laptop, turning off the TV, or opening up Google Docs can help set you in motion and build the inertia you need to get it over with. (This is the tip I used to finally get myself to type up this list)
This might seem small, but thinking about how nice and relieved you’ll feel when it’s finally done has been extremely helpful for me.
For When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed
When your thoughts get to be too much and you feel overwhelmed, do a brain dump. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes and do a stream of consciousness free write of whatever is on your mind at the time. It’s important to offload your thoughts now and then in order to clear them out. This is something my high school writing teacher had us do to boost creativity, but I found that it also helped clear my mind.
Another way I like to do this is by writing a list of everything I’m thinking about at the time. My brain is always trying to think about 15 different topics at once, so I’ll go into my notes app and list them all out. Getting them out of my brain and into a visible list is very calming.
Get moving. When I start to feel anxious and overwhelmed I will often stop what I’m doing and move around my house or office for a few minutes, especially if I’ve been sitting down for a long time. This interrupts my thoughts and gets rid of stagnant energy around me, and I’ll almost always feel better afterwards.
Studying
Take breaks now and then, but keep them around 10-15 minutes. It’s easy to lose steam and not be able to finish what you are working on if you take breaks that are too long. You can schedule your breaks if you want to, but I personally prefer to take a break whenever it feels right for my mind and body.
Try adding background noise if you are studying, writing an essay, or working on any other project. This can give your brain the stimulation that it needs to stay focused. Putting on music is the most popular way to do this. I personally like to put on a movie or show that I’ve already seen many times so I don’t get distracted by new information, but this might not work for everyone.
Try flexible seating. Not many people with ADHD are able to sit in a normal chair at a desk the way others can, so don’t be afraid to try something else. My “desk” is actually a coffee table that I sit on the floor in front of. When this starts to get uncomfortable I will switch to sitting on an exercise ball.
I hope you are able to find this list helpful. I may make a follow-up list if I think of anything else that I missed here.
319 notes · View notes
desceros · 1 month
Note
I have two questions for you if you don't mind? I read the ask about "bedtime stories" a few days ago, and it was deeply comforting to know I'm not the only one. Even more so to know it's not "weird" for your brain to get away from you like that, to lose sleep over it. But how do you remember things, or do you sometimes just hope you remember? Because I either have to feverishly jot notes down af unholy hours and risk not sleeping, or just forget everything. It's like a trade off that I'm not a huge fan of, and any advice on the remembering bit would be so helpful!
Also, I'm not sure if it would be too much or not, but I just gotta ask- is there like a process that you use in your planning docs or when outlining? That's the part of writing that I find myself struggling with. My brain can come up with snippets here and there, but they're unrelated, disconnected, uncohesive jumbles of thoughts most of the time. I have them all down in an idea doc (That is 26 pages now in 12 point font, help me) and I just. I don't know what to do-
Anyways. Sorry if I've sent too many asks in what with the Symphony stuff, I'm trying to just let myself be the gremlin I am but do let me know if it's too much! Hope your wrists are being very nice to you and the sleep fairy blesses you each night, love to see you thriving <3
hahaha, no, youre fine! i don't mind people sending in a bunch of asks. if there are a lot, i'll just screenshot them and put them into one post like i did yours, so send away! C:
i have a notebook by my bed where i write down the really important things. usually though i won't bother, because mooooooost of the time i remember things in the morning. (not all the time. sometimes i get really irritated bc i know i came up with something great but i can't remember it.) i imagine there are like. voice apps you can use on your phone or something so you can record things without having to be fully conscious, too.
as for how i plan fics, i have a post here where i kind of go into my process generally. i also have a giant planning document hahaha. i keep it at the top of my drive as seen here, and when i write i keep it open in a tab next to where i'm writing since i have a calendar in there that i use to keep dates straight.
Tumblr media
that post covers the basics, but i can go into more detail if there's a specific part of the planning process that you feel like you're having a hiccup on. granted, my best advice is to find a method that works for you... but that's something that comes with time, and cannibalizing the parts you like from other authors until you find Your process is the way to do it imo.
9 notes · View notes
stupidlovergirl · 10 months
Text
Video Games are my Love Language
Levi x Reader
Dev Notes: Ya girl has 20 million Wisps but I decided to write a Levi fic because he is my special guy and I am sinking my teeth into him like a stress ball. My laptop has been kicking my ass and not allowing me to open both Tumblr or even Word or Docs. So fuck it we ball. Also had no clue what to name this fic, wrote it in like, an hour or two. It's kinda bad. Once again, fuck it we ball Not edited
Tumblr media
Recently, you have been playing so much Chess.com. It's kinda become a problem. When you have to open up your RAD-issued laptop, you briefly write down the lesson and just open it up and start playing. Sometimes when you're further back in the class you text Levi and you two will engage in a battle of wits and absolute trash talk. Malding has happened, and the absolute will power it takes to not shoot up and go a fist fight with him for his comments is great, but you want to continue being able to just play chess in class is greater. Sometimes it becomes such a hindrance you have to beg one of the others in the class for the work, and beg even harder where they won't tell Lucifer. Maybe it's an addiction, but if playing chess and beating Levi's ass in it sometimes is wrong, you don't want to be right.
So, that's what you were doing. You're supposed to be writing a paper on the history of something or other, but you're just playing Levi in another game. The last two went by pretty fast, as Levi is a good strategist, given he is literally an admiral, but you've been getting better. You usually sass and tease him to get him off his game to take the W, and it works. Call it cheap, but it's still a win.
L3vi: lololol bad move normie L3vi: L move, ur abt to get wrekt
You push a frustrated breath through your nose. You were so going to make him regret that latter. Typing quickly, you make your next comment before you even think about it
'Shut up. You're just complaining about the W I'm gonna take because you want to kiss me!!!!!!!!'
And you don't think you'd ever see it. Levi has withdrawn from the game, leaving you the victor. It's strange, because he doesn't accept any other game for the rest of the day, and it turns into not playing for the rest of the week. Slowly, he starts playing with you again, but you don't question his reasons for stopping, as you don't want him to quit again.
Levi has gotten some new first person shooter. He's been talking about it all week, and wanting to show you in person. To hype it up for you, he's been sending pics and videos of his kills and his streaks during class. You ask him nicely and sometimes he puts his screen up on Discord for you to watch on your phone while you're in class or on break and hiding from the demands of the brothers you love so much. So when the weekend rolled around, you said no to all the invitations extended to go somewhere else from the other brothers and end up in Levi's room, which you refer to as 'The Fishbowl', despite Levi's (obviously fake) annoyance.
You knock on the door, and Levi doesn't even bother with a password as he opens the door and yanks you inside. You feel off balance as you walk (or more appropriately: dragged) to Levi's desk, where the title screen is displayed, and around it two chairs, one Levi's and the other the one Levi bought for you. You sit down, resting in it as Levi sits down in front of you. He starts rambling again, about the game and how it's 'so cool' and totally 'the best one ever'. You just smile, sleepy from the hard and infuriating school work (and the even harder and more infuriating chess games). So you snatch a blanket, snuggle in, and watch Levi do his thing. Sometimes you get hyped, when Levi pulls off a sick clutch or penta kill, but for the most part are pretty relaxed. The conversation has died down for the most part, as Levi's hyper focus has set in, and you are way too sleepy to care. So much so, you've stopped watching the game, and turned to Levi himself.
Then your thoughts consume you. Levi is so pretty, and it makes you sad sometimes he's so hard of himself. You pick on him for little things since you have gotten closer, but only in fun witty banter, which Levi recognizes as he typically replies with some of his own. Yet you wish that he would realize just how attractive he is on his own. His pretty hair, which despite the lack of routine is so freaking soft and pretty and it makes you want to run you hands through it. His eyes, which remind you of the sunset when it's so close to saying goodnight that the purple starts bleeding in. His cute nose, his nice jawline……his lips, which are so soft and kissable and moving anD OH GOD HE'S TALKING AND LOOKING AT YOU.
"What?" you ask simply, voice quiet and giving away your obvious sleepiness
Levi rolls his eyes, but the smile on his lips easily shows he's not annoyed. "I was asking if you had seen that kill, but obviously not as you were spaced out. What's more interesting than my game? The whole reason I invited you over?" He grabs the water bottle off to the side and takes a drink, and you feel a little embarrassed
"It's nothing, just sleepy from school. Not all of us can take online classes nerd" You say, reaching a foot out and kicking his chair away from you, sending him rolling a little ways away.
"Skill Issue" is all you get in response as he places the bottle back down and moves back to play. Your eyes drooping low, and you feel sleep about to lure you away.
"Do you really want to know?" You whisper quietly.
"Mhm. Shoot." Levi says, barely focusing on what you said and at the new round that has started
"I was thinking about how pretty you are" You mumble out, sleep finally clamping your eyes shut and leading your mind off. Not realizing the short circuiting boy you left behind as you slipped into dreamland.
It's been a few weeks after you confessed you found Levi pretty. Where both of you have been absolutely avoiding any type of real life interaction. Staying just between the game offered texting and Discord. Sometimes even calling if both of you were feeling brave. The brothers have noticed that Levi hasn't left his room, and since none of them have gotten a text about how he's staying because of a new game or the like, they ask you. You who sorta places and feels a little sickly and scurries off and hides after the question. So obviously something happened between you two, and they have no clue how to help, so they just leave it up to you to figure it out. (Not that they wanted too, but Lucifer has been VERY adamant that this is a problem that resides just between you and Levi)
Yet the dance of avoidance has ended due to one thing. An otome game that both you and Levi have been wanting to play drops today from the pre-orders. Which, since you both were so excited, decided to pitch money towards so you could play it together. Yet, would he still want to play it with you after what happened? I mean, you really haven't seen each other. You sound him a text to ask. So, after much nervousness, you sent the text asking if Levi wanted to meet up to start playing together. You watch as the typing bubble flicks up and then stops, and comes up again for a hour it feels like, before the text comes through
'Sure, we planned to so I don't know why we wouldn't lololol'
So that sets the train in motion. The name of the game is pretend. You never told Levi you found him pretty, you guys haven't been avoiding each other, and everyone else hasn't noticed your strange behavior when asked anything about how you have been avoiding him. Perfect. Thank whatever granted you this mercy. So you make yourself a little more presentable, showing that you are not a swamp creature but instead a version of yourself that screams 'I didn't try but still look cute' when YOU DEFINITELY TRIED VERY HARD. So, looking your casual best for him, you set off to the Fishbowl, which feels a lot more like a fighting arena now. In your head you start reviewing things
1 - That you totally didn't call him pretty, in fact you don't find him attractive in the romantic sense at all! Only platonic. Platonically he is good looking. It's an objective fact. Yup. 2 - You DO NOT want to kiss him. You do not want to kiss him at all because he probably has chapped lips and they aren't kissable at all. 3 - Just keep repeating the lies you tell yourself so you can make it out of this colossal interaction unscathed and maybe even start repairing your relationship
So you walk up to his door with a boldness that you know will easily break. You knock on the door, and wait for the password to start. You were surprised when the door just opened and you were yanked in. "Are you excited? I can't wait to romance all the datables! I think it's gonna be great!" Levi excitedly And with that sentence, all the anxiety and tension melts away, and you two ease back into the regular dynamic. "I know, all the characters are so dynamic while being such "typical" stereotypes" you reply back, just as excited You feel him grab your wrist and drag you to the bean bags
And that is where you spend the rest of the day and night, the two of you playing the game, discussing the characters, and feeling secure in your friendship with him
Yet, the comfort dissipates when you get into it about the characters "I'm sorry, but he is best boy! He is a cute little nerdy gamer otaku with anxiety! What isn't to love about him!" "I'm just saying, that my darling is superior! They are so kind to others and they love helping! I'm sorry you cannot appreciate their beauty" Levi scoffs rolling his eyes "Honestly, why do you even like him?" "Because he reminds me of you! Both adorable and anxious!" And you both stop
"Uhm, haha, juust kidding!" you say with a giggle, anxiously looking around "You've done that twice now…are…are you not lying?" Levi says, and he drops his head and fiddles with his fingers "I'm not…I really do like you Levi. You're really important to me." Levi squeaks, and backs away "I hope that doesn't upset you.."
Levi shakes his head furiously "NO!" and he recoils at his outburst. "I like you too… and I thought you were messing me with that night when you said I was…uhm…" he trails off, rubbing his neck "That you were pretty?" "Yes" he squeaks out "Well, I think that you are very pretty. That is just one of the things I like about you though. I like how excited you get, how you are so open to me. You mean so much to me" "DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT UNPROMPTED!" Levi screeches, covering his face You can't help but laugh, "But it's true!" Levi peeks through a gap in his fingers
"I wanted to tell you that…that I like you too" You gape at him "Seriously?" "Mhm" he murmurs You smile at him, feeling giddy, like you're floating, or if electricity was shooting through your veins. "Well, if you like me and I like you…" you smile "Maybe we should go out?"
You have never seen Levi so red before, but his smile is so wide "Okay!" he manages to squeak out
45 notes · View notes