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dancing-with-the-madmen · 2 years

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The Massive Aggression of Calico Jack, redux

Several kind souls have complained brought it to my attention that my failure to use cut tags is, in fact, not optimal. I don't have any good reason that I don't use cuts - mostly I'm just throwing these thoughts out here so they don't endlessly rattle around my brain. Frankly, I'm endlessly astonished anyone but me can be arsed to bother wading through them at all. So, after a truly epic tantrum thoughtful consideration, I've decided to edit my longer posts to add cuts. If you've already read them, (may endless blessings rain down upon you) there's no new content (vile lies and calumny. I'm going to take this opportunity to fix errors and add a line here or there, but nothing major). Just making it more scroll-friendly. You'll know it when you see the word "redux" in the title. So without further ado...

I’ve been trying for a while to put my finger on exactly what it is about Our Flag Means Death's Calico Jack that makes me want to crawl out of my skin and smother him to death with my own abandoned ecdysis.

I mean, I normally love me a spurned admirer/cock-blocking ex. Romantic comedies have their beats, and there’s obviously no serious danger the love interest will end up with anyone other than their intended, so I may as well sit back and enjoy the machinations. After all, the course of true love never did run smooth, and these bitches are here to rough some shit up for sure. I also love Will Arnett. Hands down favorite recurring character on 30 Rock. The second best Batman after TAS (fight me). I can even cheerfully bear his Reese’s commercials if I must bear commercials at all.

Real-life Calico Jack? One of my v. favorite pirates. He wore floral-printed cotton from India as a fuck you to the British tax man. He had an affair with Anne Bonny and offered to purchase her divorce when her husband found out. The two ran away together into piracy when Bonny’s husband refused to quit her and had her whipped for her infidelity. Mary Read was part of Jack and Anne’s crew, and possibly their lover. We love a hopeless romantic, possibly polyamorous king.

So what is it about OFMD Calico Jack that makes him so acutely punchable?

I’ve rewatched the episode several times (oh my v. dears, I really hope this write-up is worth it. I am SO BRAVE to subject myself to this), and I think I’ve finally got it. It’s not just that he’s a loud, vulgar, hectoring, drunken jackass of a bird-murderer. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have as little patience for his brand of mindless destruction and violence-for-violence-sake as Stede does, but that’s not all. It’s that he’s also a master of passive aggression.

Jack does the little whisper-y “Sorry! Sorry!” when Stede wants to know what’s with all the cannon fire, but immediately starts grinning like an unrepentant varlet as soon as he drops his hands.

And then accepts Stede’s introductory handshake with clear derision.

When Stede says he wasn’t expecting guests and there’s only two settings at brekkie, Jack doesn’t wait for Stede to sort things out, and he’s already lowering himself into Stede’s chair by the time Stede invites him to take his spot. He then purposefully keeps steering the conversation to topics that exclude Stede from participating, and cuts Stede short when he tries to reign the conversation back.

He insinuates Stede is less of a pirate for being “store bought”

He refuses to get Stede’s name right, even when corrected. Twice.

And is just SO insincere when calling him back.

And, just, the whole pissing contest scene.

But so what? We’ve had other passive aggressive assholes on the show; Badminton with his cracks about Stede’s tiny dick ship, the French captain’s slurs, Gabriel simpering about Jeff the Accountant’s dining manners. I’m not shedding any tears for their respective fates, but none of them made me want to crawl through the screen and sew all their face holes shut. Because Jack isn’t just passive-aggressive (and aggressive-aggressive), he might just be the most savvy reader-of-rooms we see on the show, and purposefully and systematically leverages his passive aggression to manipulate the actions of those around him for the purpose of making Ed and Stede betray their better selves and make them do the work of driving a wedge between themselves. That was a lot in one sentence. Let me break it down.

Jack uses passive aggression to achieve one of four goals: to nettle, to undermine, (seemingly paradoxically) to reinforce connections, or to coerce. And, if he can manage to achieve different goals for more than one target with the same attack? So much the better. And he’s frankly just astonishingly good at doing so. Like, I’d admire him for it if it didn’t also make me want to make him swallow all of his own teeth.

The basic gameplan goes thusly (this is not a strictly chronological list, a lot of these tactics take place concurrently and recurrently): Stede is the primary target, so Jack nettles him with passive aggressive comments, which puts him on the back foot and undermines his self-confidence. He reinforces his relationship with Ed in ways that excludes Stede and undermines Stede’s relationship with Ed and Ed’s relationship with Stede. Jack uses coercive tactics with Ed and the crew, which undermines Stede’s relationships with them, isolating and othering Stede, which further tanks his mood, which leads him to self-isolate. When Stede eventually lashes out at Ed for falling for Jack’s bullshit, Ed has no idea what’s got Stede so out-of-sorts; Jack has so carefully lead Ed to making the choices that have alienated Stede that they seem like they were Ed’s ideas in the first place. And if Ed has made the choices to do these things, then they are clearly just a reflection of who he is, which, if Stede is lashing out against them, then Stede is rejecting him. Wedge set and match.

So let’s look at the specifics.

Jack’s interactions with Ed are like a masterclass in neurolinguistic programming for evil. First, he plys Ed with booze from the very start. Just look at the bottle in this shot from right after they blow up the dresser drawer.

That bottle or rum is over half gone, and the sky in the background is the peachy-pink of sunrise. This isn’t the bottle Jack had with him in his dinghy; that one he drained and then threw in the air and tried to shoot before coming aboard the Revenge. Which means that they’ve consumed over half the bottle between just the two of them in a very short amount of time. Alcohol, of course, is a social lubricant - the physical warmth it produces mimicking the “warm, fuzzy” feeling of true comradery, and, more importantly, decoupling the decision-making process from inhibition (that is to say, Ed isn’t necessarily doing anything he absolutely wouldn’t otherwise do, but he might otherwise think twice).

But it’s more insidious than just having a few drinks with an old friend. Jack specifically gamifies the consumption of alcohol to reinforce the coupling of the feeling of inebriation with the comradery engendered by teamwork and excitement of success in order to encourage Ed to drink more than he necessarily otherwise would. Ed confirms to Stede during his apology that the idea to use the drawers of the armoire for target practice came from Jack, and we saw that a bullseye meant that Jack had to take a drink, but Ed didn’t. Presumably, there would have been some consequence for a “miss”, and it seems likely that it would be Ed has to take a drink and not Jack. In this way, Jack is able to exert a measure of control over how much Ed is drinking (by missing on purpose) while making it look like the responsibility lies with Ed and his skill as a thrower. This pattern of sneakily controlling Ed’s actions while making it seem like Ed is the one who made or is responsible for the decision will pop up again and again during their interactions.

After the apologies for waking Stede, Jack steps into the space where Ed is gesticulating to make himself readily available to be touched, reenforcing the bond between them, but letting Ed be the one to instigate the touching.

At brekkie, he pours rum into Ed’s teacup without asking or being asked while Ed’s attention is diverted by getting food.

Jack’s collaring of the conversation does not just function as a means of making Stede feel excluded, he’s also refreshing and reinforcing the bonds he and Ed forged under adversity. Talking over Stede also demonstrates that what he has to say is more important than anything Stede might contribute.

Note that just before Jack cut him off, Stede had referred to Ed as Blackbeard (“Blackbeard and I met on a ship”). This may be innocently explained away; if you meet a person from a facet of a close friend’s life with which you do not intersect, you might refer to said friend by their given name instead of a nickname that the other person might not know, for the sake of common frame of reference. But this is the opposite of that - referring to a friend by a nickname instead of the given name that you both presumably know. That suggests to me that the seed of the Ed/Blackbeard dichotomy has already been planted in Stede’s mind by the morning’s shenanigans. And when Jack invites Stede back into participating in the conversation by talking about something he knows Stede would find upsetting (the wanton cruelty of Ed purposefully trapping people to be burned alive, couched in what sounds like sincere admiration for his friend’s piratical prowess), Jack has picked up on that distinction and is leaning into it HARD. He WANTS Stede to see Ed as a collection of behaviors he finds palatable, and Blackbeard as a collection of behaviors he finds repulsive, and then coerce Ed into performing those “Blackbeard behaviors” in order to coerce Stede to drive the wedge by rejecting him. Fucking diabolical.

When Jack is calling Stede a “big girl,” or “store-bought,” or purposefully getting his name wrong, he’s not just throwing barbs that play on Stede’s insecurities (and with such harrowing precision, too; calling on the effeminacy for which he was tormented as a child, his body image issues that we’ve also seen him struggle with under the tender mercies of Badminton - both brain-ghost and original flavor - and the authenticity of his claim to piracy, which we’ve seen him confess that he fears he’s ill-qualified to claim to Jim, Oluande, and Ed. I mean,triple bullseye for this fucking guy). He’s also using these public declarations to undermine Stede’s authority in front of his crew, and establish himself as the real authority on things like piracy and masculinity. He further reinforces this idea by withholding the story of how he saved Ed’s life under the guise of false modesty; people never want something more than when they’re told they can’t have it. And what they’re being told they can’t have is the story of how Jack was so amazing that he even managed to save the life of the coolest, most legendary pirate they know. This withholding primes the crew to think even more highly of Jack and hang on his every word.

This puts Jack into a position where he can pressure the crew into things that sound fun at first blush (like diving off the yardarm or having a snowball fight, but with coconuts), but end up hurting more than anything. Of course, within this dynamic, no one wants to admit they aren’t having a good time, or don’t want to do it; to do so would be tantamount to admitting you are less of a man or not a real pirate. So when Stede refuses to participate, or admits his discomfort or disgust with the proceedings, he’s doing Jack’s work for him, and further alienating himself, and solidifying the roles Jack had put into place where Jack is the fun, cool guy, and Stede is the killjoy that no one should listen to.

Stede unwittingly plays right into Jack’s design when he tries to stand up for himself and wrest back a modicum of respect before things get too far out of hand. He’s well-versed in the world of passive aggression, and sees what Jack is doing. He also knows that you can’t call it out because passive aggression comes with a built in cover of plausible deniability gaslighting. So instead, he tries to push back with a little passive aggression of his own, suggesting that a real pirate has a ship and a crew. Sadly, Stede is not nearly so adroit at wielding passive aggression as Jack is. Jack uses the story (and we know that Izzy sent him, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole mutiny thing is just a story; I could even easily read that slight hesitation after Stede asks his question as Jack deciding on what would be the most effective cover story, instead of hesitancy to admit to something shameful) of his crew’s mutiny to casually re-sow the idea of mutiny on the Revenge. It’s played for comedy when the crew starts talking about how they almost mutinied on Stede and probably will again, but you can’t tell me this hasn’t been a major concern for Stede ever since the first episode. So Jack’s not only got the crew trying to buoy his spirits by assuring him that his crew mutinying on his doesn’t mean he’s a bad person; it’s just something that happens! He’s also got them low-key committing to a future mutiny WITHIN EARSHOT OF STEDE.

Additionally, while Stede is well-steeped in the ways of passive aggression, his crew and Ed are not. They are not particularly sophisticated at identifying passive aggression on its own merits as opposed to the reaction it provokes, which can make it look like they don’t care when it’s being leveraged against Stede, undermining his ability to trust they will look out for him. Stede stoically putting up with Jack’s jibes makes them even more difficult to identify as hurtful. Jack’s (fake) emotional reaction to Stede’s sally might make him look momentarily weak, but allows Ed and the crew to unequivocally identify who is in the wrong and react accordingly. By positioning himself as a victim, he villainizes Stede, further undermining Stede’s authority, and placing him in a position where he owes Jack recompense. Thus, Jack is able to manipulate Stede into the trap of Dead Man’s Cove and make it look like it was Stede’s own idea. I mean, the Xanatos Speed Chess of it all.

What’s heartbreaking to me is how Jack’s wedge-driving and othering of Stede is working so well that at this point we start to hear it from other sources. As they approach the island and Stede suggests going for a swim or taking a nature walk, Ed is the one who tells him, “I think with this crowd, I think they want something a little more…” Not Jack would want something more exciting, this crowd. Jack’s exclusionary rhetoric out of Ed’s mouth.

Which is exactly the time Jack decides to up the ante.

I want to take a minute to look at the immediate lead up to yardies, because I think it’s an excellent illustration of how Jack looks like a lumbering boor, but his actions are actually so carefully considered and nuanced. He runs up from behind Stede and Ed and throws his arms around them shouting “Yardies!” literally insinuating himself between them, which interrupts anything that was going on between them, puts them off balance, and focuses the attention on him. Then, when he says “Who’s up for yardies?” he makes eye-contact with Ed - the implicit social expectation being “You, Ed, are up for yardies.” When he turns to Stede, it is to literally laugh in his face. I mean, the absolute cheek.

Until this point, the crew of the Revenge have been passive participants in Jack’s hooliganry. They watched him perform whippies, and got whipped at without encouraging him to do so. They listened to his and Ed’s stories. But now Jack is cashing in on his established expertise of what real pirates do to coerce the crew into taking part in a dangerous stunt. It’s more of the “Blackbeard behavior” dichotomy he started sowing in Stede’s mind at brekkie, but now he’s extending it beyond Ed to the whole crew. He wants Stede to feel like he’s all alone in a sea of idiocy, but he wants him to come to the conclusion on his own by making it seem like Ed and the crew are doing things of which he would disapprove of their own accord.

Once we get to the island, we see the activities take a turn from the careless Jackass-ery of whippies and yardies to the abject cruelty of turtle vs. crab. There’s no saying that Jack organized the fight, but we do see the crew handing him various trinkets to be used in gambling on a winner, which certainly suggests he was the central figure in how the game was established. We also see that, though he has been presenting himself as a drunkard, there’s no bottle in his hand or around him in the sand. There is, however, one in Ed’s hand, who is directly to his side. I can easily see him handing it off so he could handle the gambling stakes, the real intention being to keep Ed readily supplied with booze.

And then we have the pissing contest. Jack’s got Stede literally and metaphorically isolated, and now it’s time to really drive it all home. Every moment of their interaction is designed to drive Stede to distraction; the amount of derision he lays on the phrase “Your good, close buddy,” the insinuation that he and Ed are just alike, and then being as rude and crass as possible. And because he’s read the room - the intimate breakfast for two, Ed’s little touches and the way Stede smiles at them, the way they keep going off together for little chats - of course Jack’s just got to twist the knife and allude to his and Ed’s former sexual history. So now that he’s got Stede primed, it’s time to name the fear: “Maybe you don’t know him at all.”

At this point, Stede is left to wonder: does he? Blackbeard’s reputation preceded him, after all. And he’s been acting so differently since the appearance of one of his oldest friends. It’s not the violence qua violence, per se; Stede is by turns delighted and impressed by the violence he’s seen Ed and his crew employ in the heat of battle in the pursuit of piracy. It’s the cruel and senseless violence that Stede objects to, and that’s exactly the brand that Jack has been peddling, and which Ed has gone along with so enthusiastically. And it’s not JUST the violence; Ed apologizes for Jack when he recognizes Jack has crossed a line in a typically agro way (destroying Stede’s belongings, and insulting Stede to his face), but it never occurs to Stede that his insistence on persevering with quietly aggrieved dignity in the face of Jack’s slights would make it nigh impossible for Ed to identify that Jack has crossed all sorts of other lines, and Stede is hurting because of it. For Stede, it must be frustrating and mystifying why Ed keeps letting his friend get away with his passive aggressive bullshit. Doesn’t he care?

Is it any wonder that one more failure to notice how Jack has riled him, and one more act of coconut-flavored Jackass-ary is enough to break the dam, and for Stede to spill all that built-up hurt on Ed? Is it any wonder that Ed is bewildered at where all this is coming from? I’ve talked before about Ed’s tendency to fawn on people, and how, as an emotional chameleon, he would have difficulty identifying when the motivation for his actions is self-directed or externally dictated. Jack has further confounded this distinction by manipulating scenarios to make it seem like participation in all the Jackass-ary he has instigated was voluntary instead of coerced. When Stede says “I don’t like who you are around this guy” what he means is “I don’t like how this guy is able to manipulate you into acting on your very worst impulses”, but what Ed hears is “I don’t like you”. For who is he, if not the collection of behaviors he chooses to exhibit? And were those choices not entirely his to make? With the rift clearly established, if in its infancy, of course Jack is going to do everything he can to foster its growth. So again, he interrupts Stede, again implicitly signaling that Ed should pay attention to what he says and not Stede. By lobbing the coconut at Ed at that moment, he forestalls any possible clearing of the air between Ed and Stede, and causes Ed to literally turn his back on Stede, in the way Ed feels Stede has emotionally turned his back on him just moments earlier. Jack reinforces this idea of turning his back on Stede again moments later when he says “Don’t go!” and immediately turns Ed around by the shoulders.

I know that I’ve been laying it on a bit thick and prolly sound like the written embodiment of the red string conspiracy meme, but I’m about to get a whole lot worse, and I’m going to ask you to stick with me, oh my v. dears. I think Jack killed Karl on purpose.

I know, I know. It was an accident! He was flailing drunkenly! But was he?

Have we seen him take so much as a single drink since the cannon fire at the beginning of the episode? Even though he’d been drinking earlier, did he not have devastating precision and accuracy when he first demonstrated Whippies - shattering every glass, snapping the cards from the Swede’s fingers, and ball-tapping Ed without permanently maiming him or even splitting the leather of his pants? In fact, while nearly every other crew member on the deck has a bottle in hand, just like on the beach, Jack does not.

Jack knows he has to get Ed off the ship before the British show up, but he can’t just say “Let’s ditch these losers” and expect Ed to agree, especially since he’s spent most of the day roping the crew into his schemes. The most effective way to get Ed to follow is if Jack is rejected for just being himself and doing what he does, just like Ed feels he was earlier by Stede. I think the original plan was to goad Olu into seriously hurting the Swede, the fallout of which would be recriminations that Jack made them do it, and Jack getting aggrieved that he was just trying to show this ungrateful lot how to have a good time, skulking off and leading Ed to follow him and reassure him that he’s really a good guy - how could he have known it would turn out like that? But when Buttons calls a halt to the proceedings and it looks like everyone is going to pack it in, Jack has to think fast. If HE maims a crew mate, that would be a bridge too far, painting him as the bad guy. But Karl? He’s just a bird. And if Jack can get a little revenge on the weird bird guy who made him change his plan, so much the better. AND, as people with far fewer auditory processing issues than I have pointed out, Jack mutters that he expected there to be more feathers. Could the evidence be any more damning?

Of course the whole ship turns on him, and then here’s Stede to order him off, explicitly rejecting him the way he metaphorically rejected Ed. But when even that isn’t enough to get Ed to follow him, Jack pulls out one last, desperate manipulation - the debt of life.

Jack’s tragic flaw is that he can’t turn it off. Once he and Ed are alone, he turns his passive aggressive assault on Ed, pressuring him into drinking the morning away by sarcastically saying he didn’t know he had an audience with the pope when Ed expresses disinterest, and, ultimately, giving up the game when he mentions with casual derision how he’d heard of Ed shaking up with Stede, and then deriding Ed for his failure to spot Jack’s machinations.

Too bad Jack didn’t know that the punishment for passive-aggressive fuckery on this show is death…

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #calico jack

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saltygilmores · 9 months

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In Defense of Jess Mariano's Summer Birthday

This is my loose theory on his birthday and there will definitely be big gaping holes in this. Please also bare in mind it's been three years since my last full rewatch (of the first 4 seasons anyway) and I'm currently in the middle of crawling through season 2 again. This post is a disaster so please bear with me lol There seems to be pretty a consistent timeline established within the show (new seasons of the show almost aways begin in September/ late summer within their world, which helps a lot when you're trying to date something that happened). Since it's been 3 years and my brain is swiss cheese, please feel free to chime in with your thoughts and deflate my theory as you may. Jess arrives right as Rory is starting school. September. It is immediately established he's already 17 years old at that point (pokey hole: they retconned a lot of things that were established in his first episode, like how long his parents had been together so who knows, maybe he was actually still 16) His age is rarely mentioned outright, although I do remember one of his season 4 episodes where Luke and Liz are discussing his whereabouts; she says he’s 19 now and wants nothing to do with her.

Season 2=17 Season 3=18 Season 4=19 With that in mind I afforded him the longest possible timeline to have a birthday and decided it would have been right before he arrived in Stars Hollow, in August or September. If he had had a November or December birthday he would have turned 18 quickly early in season 2 and by season 3 he would be 19 already. Rory's birthday is in October. In 6x8 she had just celebrated her 21st. He acknolwedges that it had just passed, so this episode would have taken place in November? My theory was he would have already had to be 21 (the drinking age in the US) to get into the bar where he drank with Logan and Rory so at the very least that would have eliminated most of November or a December birthday. However people like to poke holes in this theory stating that either the bar wasn't carding anyone (since it was a college bar) or he had a fake ID. Jess says to Luke in 3x6 that he's still a minor, but going by my loose observation of either the Gilmore Girls or a real world timeline, over a year had already passed at that point since he arrived in Stars Hollow as a 17 year old. He was already 17 in early September when he arrived in s2 and in this s3 episode (the one where Rory and Lorelai egg his car because they suck and are awful) it appeared to be deeper into fall rather than summer (the episode aired on November 5 2002). It's only 3 episodes ahead of Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving (Thanksgiving takes place in late November, just for your information if you're not American). So I've decided to poke my own hole in the "I'm underage" comment and chalk it up to Jess being a sassy asshole. A sasshole. Besides this episode being the one where Luke finds out he has a car AND he makes the comment about being a minor, it is also the episode where it's revealed he's been working at Walmart (driving a forklift). I don't know about the laws in 2002, but as of 2023, in the state of Connecticut you have to be 18 to drive a forklift. Maybe this was a shady Walmart that happily violated child labor laws, but seeing as Jess' Walmart manager was one of the only people who ever believed in his potential, I don't think he would exploit him like that. Anyway, those are my thoughts. Feel free to deflate them to death and I will update the post if need be. I do want to add one more thing: Based on her mugshot (lol) we know Rory was born in early October 1984 but graduated high school in 2003. I was born in February 1984 and graduated in 2002. Clearly Rory missed the kindergarten cutoff due to her October birthdate and had to start school a year later than most of her fellow 1984 babies. I support the theory that the same thing could have happened to Jess in order to put him in the same grade as Rory. But school cutoff dates vary so wildly that could really put his birthday anywhere from September-December. Even though this would contradict my own theories, it’s an idea that makes sense for the November/December birthday theory so I can support it.

#jess mariano #jess mariano's birthday #this post is a mess #forgive my swiss cheese brain #gilmore girls #feel free to share your thoughts #and if I left anything out #Luke probably mentioned his age once or twice #the girlies on Twitter would 'celebrate' it on some arbtirary day in April #I think they got it off a Gilmore Girls wiki or something #but no idea where they sourced that date from #I'm team “last 6 months of the year”

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pistoldva · 4 years

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hunger games au where hanzo is katniss

except when genji gets chosen for tribute hanzo just says Fucking Finally and Pushes him to the capitol people

#hanzo shimada #genji shimada #overwatch #shitpost #best thing that’s ever been mine #my post #i have crawled out of my hole to say this because i just started rewatching the hunger games #the hunger games

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 3 years

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it wasn’t power i coveted; it was acceptance.

Titans 3.06

y’know, i was just thinking the other day that 1.06/1.07 and 2.06/2.07 were the best episodes of their respective seasons, so i have great hopes going in to this one. fingers crossed!

as always, typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. oh! um... that was a Cold Open, all right. *nudges* get it? cold? because it’s snowing? and two people got murdered in cold blood? eh?

... oh, i’ve just started.

1.5. i wonder if “i want to be sipping pina coladas on a beach with you” is the new “i’m just one day away from retiring.” i was so on edge after that--i kept expecting that car to explode. even so, the way they died wasn’t an anticlimax: brutal, and quick.

1.75. so i’m assuming that’s the titular lady vic! this show better bring up why this doll was important or why these two cops needed to be killed, and not leave it to the ether like jericho’s little mindscape jaunt in 2.08 (i’m still dying to know what that was about???)

i love how deliberately unappealing wayne manor is.

(sorry for the pic quality. i don’t have hbo max! ssshhh.)

2.3. i love the many references to “home” and “our house” when they’ve been here for less than a week and saw one of their friends get blown into pieces. i mean, i unironically love it: home is where family is, after all!

2.5. i’d like to say that kom is playing some sort of long game here, especially given the build-up we had last season and some of the more niggling details this season: why did kom choose now to use her bond to lure kory when she’s been on earth for months? why did justin call kory now, just around the time that she started getting kom’s visions? and what about kom’s ability to exactly imitate other people? hmmm.

2.75. the reason i wrote i’d like to say is that i’ve made the mistake of assuming plot complexity where there is none; i was so invested in the jason todd orchestrated his own death theory for instance, when it turns out that oops! ra’s al ghul just happened to leave a little lazarus puddle in gotham, and oh yeah! scarecrow just happens to have a network of henchmen working for him on the outside and a fully functional laboratory and a weapons cache fit for a new supervillain in the basement of the high security psychiatric unit/prison that he’s in!

(no i’m not bitter, why do you ask)

2.8. iiiii don’t know what to say about the implications of sex slavery being a thing on tamaran, so i’m not going to say anything at all. for now.

3. gotham, six years ago... wasn’t it five years before s2 that jericho died and the titans disbanded? and when was the flashback from 1.06 where dick let zucco die? i think it was after the events of 2.08: jericho? i can’t seem to find any transcripts or reliable information online, so i’m going to have to rewatch 1.06 at some point.

(i love the old-fashioned batman music in this heist scene)

3.5. “security is a joke... it’s my way of keeping my dad on his toes”. what you’re an ethical thief now, like an ethical hacker? i don’t think that excuse is going to sell, barbara, on the day you do encounter a decent security system and your father is forced to arrest you.

(then again, gotham’s security is piss-poor. did you know that you could just walk into arkham asylum without any official clearance, ply one of its most dangerous inhabitants with contraband, and said inmate could get away with having an entire laboratory and weapons cache--NO I’M NOT GOING TO LET THIS GO)

3.8 so that flashback between dick and barbara was really cute! and also illuminating:

a) dick sounds so light, so... um. look. i have some apologies to tender to mr thwaites, because while i’ve always thought he does a fine job as dick grayson, i’ve never been terribly fond of his cadence as he delivers dialogue. it’s often monotonous, i thought, but then again, he’s usually delivering exposition or dealing with one soul-crushing crisis or the other. so i was pleasantly surprised to hear dick sound so carefree and alive in his conversation with barbara, laughing frequently, his emotions so bare and bubbling to the surface. it’s really a fantastic contrast to the traumatised and world-weary dick grayson that we see now, even more so than the costume department just bunging a backwards-baseball cap on mr thwaites’ head and hoping that will convince us of his relative youth.

b) and god, when he wakes up from that memory, all alone in his bed, bleeding from bullet holes in his shoulder (bullet holes that are--in a somewhat convoluted way--barbara’s fault)? yikes. it’s great. you have my apologies, mr thwaites!

c) can you imagine dick just... crawling back to wayne manor, trying not to be seen by anybody, shedding his suit and just... collapsing onto his bed without even tending to his wound? the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion of it?

d) it’s so interesting to see how barbara and dick approach the idea of legacy--a big theme on the show!--in this flashback. barbara is the one bucking the idea that she should follow in her father’s footsteps, while dick seems pretty content with the batman-and-robin setup, and even tries to get barbara to join their team (robin-girl. pfffft). obviously after this several traumatic things happen wherein dick ends up questioning and then resenting his role as robin, his relationship with batman or even returning as a vigilante at all. and barbara... ends up replacing her father as commissioner. it’s tragic, really.

e) the dynamic between dick and barbara in the flashback reminds me of how it was between dick and donna in 1.08 and even between kory and dick in early s1. it’s like having an older, strong-willed woman by his side means he gives over the steering wheel for a while and lets himself... unspool, a little bit. it’s kinda endearing.

also:

*pinches his cheeks*

3. you know, we talk about dick and Eldest Daughter Syndrome, and that’s definitely valid, but here gar seems to me the embodiment of it, with all the emotional gardening and firefighting that he’s expected to do. he’s kind of the guy expected to keep his shit together and take care of everyone else while they are falling completely to pieces, unable to carve out time to process his own trauma. he’s also picked up dick’s and kory’s tendencies to bottle up their struggles and shun appearing vulnerable, and he’s struggling in the shadow of both dick and kory undergoing acute crises, his best friend (and frequent confidante) on the other side of the world, and seeing hank die, utterly helpless to stop it.

i’m glad that he got a chance to tell dick even a smidgeon of what he really feels, and i hope this is at least a semblance of a wake up call for dick to actually sit down and work with the people he repeatedly calls family.

3.5. it’s heartening to see that dick immediately makes it his priority to go talk to gar. but don’t blow off kory in the process, man!

4. i’m really loving this dynamic between kom and conner--i get the idea that both of them consider each other as Unknowns, alien two times over. but conner’s only ever known the titans, who embrace being different, and kom’s only ever known... well.

anyway, kory is Really Stressed, and honestly? #relatable.

when you’re forced to bring an estranged family member to hang out with your friends...

4.5. i love that the titans are spending so much time in the kitchen. a real family!

5. jonathan crane is a creep and i absolutely cannot stand him.

5.25. how did he get a whole lab setup (in the basement of a hospital...?) with a bunch of whitecoats to work for him? how did he just waltz into the viewing room of an operation theatre when he’s one of the most wanted men in gotham right now? why is jason wandering around maskless when--presumably--as the adopted son of the most famous person in gotham he’d be a tad more recognisable than your average joe?

why do i expect this show to answer anything anymore?

5.5. that’s not necessarily a criticism, mind; i’ve said since season 1 that titans is very comics-like in this aspect, all about the Aesthetic and the splash-page splendour rather than the niggling unimportant details of how or when the characters got to said location. like. the camera gliding over the operation being set-up, lady vic bursting in and doing her murder dance (imagine the luck of the poor intern who chose this day and this surgery to assist) and jason, shocked and slack-jawed, framed by blood.

5.75. it’s a sobering reminder for jason that, though he chose this path in order to gain control over a world that seemed like it was rapidly spinning out of his grip, he’s only succeeded in handing over even more control to a man with an agenda that is very clearly not aligned with his own. he’s in too far to stop now, though.

5.9. i have a lot more thoughts about jason! saving it up for the end of this recap, though.

6. more kitchen time! i better see dick do some cooking soon...

(”our kitchen”! it still delights me! kitchens are So Important)

6.25. so much of dick’s issues have revolved around his relationship with bruce, so it’s completely understandable that in the wake of a huge crisis where bruce literally asks dick to replace him and be a “better” him, dick would default to all the worst things he learned from the man. and i’m glad kory’s having none of it, but come on, guys. the woman’s literally fetched her fratricidal sister out of a hole in the ground with no idea what said sister is going to do next and experiencing a burgeoning sense of guilt far, far beyond her history with the titans, and dick’s too far into his autocolonoscopy that he can’t see that she needs help.

6.5. “he services your urges”--well, as far as we know, kory is the last person he had sex with...

7. “i hope [gar] isn’t angry with me...” SIR! i thought you’d already spoken to him! smh, as the kids say. kory wouldn’t be needing to reassure you if you just took the effort to build two way emotional relationships with the rest of the team. @superohclair was taking about dick’s relatively low emotional intelligence? i agree.

7.5. “i got my own problems [...] you and barbara? fix it.” YOU TELL HIM, KORY

8. man i really like this weird, sad tension between dick and barbara--this sense that both of them are approaching the other based on how they remember them and are ultimately disappointed by the truth. barbara thought she could trust dick to... well, be a better batman, but dick has not only failed at that in her eyes, but repeatedly undermined her while exploiting the authority that she gave him. in dick’s eyes, this is nothing like the barbara that he knew, rebellious and ready to do whatever it takes to find something.

like. this show sometimes really hits me in the chest about the ways it shows kids grow into adults and into caretakers, and the way it’s stop-start, the ways nothing can happen at all for a long time and then it’s Crisis Central all at once and there’s no space to breathe. the weird sort of sadness that comes with nostalgia.

8.5. oracle name drop! i agree with barbara, any system that can just randomly tap into gotham phonelines is a monster.

8.7. (i don’t know if it’s my imagination, but is dick holding himself... differently in this episode? like that wound is definitely bothering him, and he’s running on fumes)

9. man, that was a really sweet scene between kom and conner. “feeling alien in your own world”... “not quite here nor there”

honestly this team runs on conner and gar’s faith in their value as a family, and it’s a sign of conner’s generous heart that he extends that opportunity to blackfire. this arc of maturation for him, where he’s now able to consciously choose which parts of himself he can use to do the thing he wants to so--save people--has been so fulfilling to recognise. this baby’s grown with the titans! and what he’s learnt is that people can get fucked up, but the titans is a place where they can be fucked up, and grow.

MY MAN CONNER

10. oh man i’m drinking in the gar-dick interaction in this episode like i’m three days into the desert and it’s the only source of water for miles around!

a) gar is absolutely not dealing with dick’s bullshit this episode and I LOVE IT. it’s such a far cry from the man who was idolising dick/robin back in s1 and expecting him to solve all their problems. dick is fallible, dick is fucked up, but he Tries His Best and that’s ok.

b) dick, huffing and puffing through that vent, unable to put any pressure on his left shoulder, trying to have a heart to heart with gar... fuck i love this asshole.

c) bruce took in a kid who was suffering... “and made him into a weapon”. well. i absolutely agree with dick that it was bruce who put these kids into these horrible situations with him and they came away with a bucketload of trauma to add to the one that they already had. but we know that bruce was really trying with jason, and at the end of s2, dick was coming to acknowledge that bruce had offered him something that wasn’t just darkness. jason’s death and bruce’s reaction to that shattered that fragile progress.

d) “gotham got to me too.” i feel more sympathetic towards dick running off on his own than most, and it’s not just because i’m an unapologetic stan. we’ve seen before that dick... devolves when overwhelmed, and he lashes out and makes ill thought out decisions and just Does Not Deal. it happened after hearing the news that deathstroke had returned in s2, and it didn’t help that everyone around him was reeling at the news, either. this time, however, he has his salvation in his family, and despite some stupid decisions like running off and kidnapping supervillains without telling his team, he’s been really on the ball this season. thinking clearly and logically, holding it together and working on a plan, thinking two steps ahead of the villains... yes.

e) gar needing to believe that jason isn’t beyond redemption... there’s a lot of blood on his hands, too, from when he was manipulated by cadmus last season. it makes sense why he’d relate to jason’s predicament, and i hope dick picked up on that.

f) my head just added a plaintive ow after dick jumped feet first into the storage room

i need, crave gifs of this scene!

11. *sits on hands* i’m going to talk more about red hood, i promise!

12. more gar and dick! is it my birthday??!!

(actually, according to the tamil calendar, it is my birthday! my “star” birthday)

12.5. excellent. dick using some implausible training that bruce taught him to solve a mystery? passing some of that knowledge onto gar? that proud smile when he sees gar perfectly execute moves that he taught him? MY HEART IS EXPLODING

13. aw, i love flashback!dick and barbara, they’re so cute <3

13.25. why does it not surprise me that the way he proposes a relationship to barbara is by saying “we make sense”? this guy can deduce exactly who was present where and what weapon they were holding from a garbled audio recording but other times he’s utterly clueless, and that’s a consistent character beat right from s1

13.5. so.... that’s why lady vic has it out for... barbara....? i don’t get it. it’s flimsy. but hey! the fun thing about titans is that i don’t have to get it. the payoff has nothing to do with the plot.

14. i can’t believe that barbara fell for that, but at least that wheelchair fight looked awesome, so.

15. oh yeah, i forgot that red hood bullied the mob into helping him and scarecrow... at least that explains the whitecoats and the elaborate set-up.

15.5. honestly i love how this dynamic between kory and kom is developing, though i wish more of the team would pay attention to it. time to call justin, i think!

16. i wonder what happened after that second flashback where barbara got hurt during that heist. did she give up on doing any more (maybe jim caught her)? was it because dick was called away by bruce and then the titans and got caught up in his own issues? maybe barbara froze him out because she wasn’t looking for the relationship that he was looking for? maybe the idea of doing that with someone turning into batman-lite was just... unappealing? scary?

whatever it is, it doesn’t look like dick ever processed the end of that relationship. it’s very intriguing to see where their dynamic goes next.

17. so.... what, did vic deliver some fear toxin to barbara? i... what?

17.5. and i TOLD YOU that they would never explain that doll or why vic attacked those two cops at the beginning! oh, titans. never change.

18. did jason just randomly have tim’s restaurant burgled? god, i’m feeling a bit nauseous... are they going to kill tim’s father?

18.25. i feel like the rest of the season is going to wrestle with jason’s culpability in the horrible stuff he’s doing and i’m already seeing that prospect divide fans. on one hand, his story is taking a lot of oxygen away from other equally interesting story arcs, and he’s done some truly awful things, like indiscriminate murder, threatening to kill children, blowing up hank, and potentially killing tim’s parents.

there’s something to be said for the kind of hold that crane has over him, and the so-called ‘anti-fear’ drug that he keeps plying jason with--he’s alone, drugged almost constantly (to the level of dependence), fresh from the trauma of being bludgeoned to death. he hasn’t conquered fear; he’s ruled by it. on the other hand, given that he’s the one character on the show given an obvious and identifiable ‘mental illness’ arc (maaaaybe dick too), one can argue that it’s irresponsible to show this progress into such violence: jason was vulnerable because he was struggling, and that left him vulnerable, but it took only a push before he became a fucking serial killer.

but that could mean we underestimate the degree of that vulnerability, and the mechanics of this universe where he fell into the clutches of the one supervillain perfectly designed to exploit that vulnerability. that helpless spiral into further and further self-destruction is all too real. it’s valuable to know that someone who has sunk that low can still seek help--actual help--and get it.

18.5. i don’t know. it’s not a question i’m going to resolve at the end of an overlong recap at 1 in the morning. i don’t believe it’s even a question that titans can resolve. but i am interested in where they’re going next with jason.

19. this episode was genuinely great! i’m pumped for the rest of the season!

#titans #titans spoilers #meta #dick grayson #koriand'r #barbara gordon #garfield logan #conner kent #komand'r #jason todd #jonathan crane #a byronic cupcake #badass strawberry truffle #manic pixie pop tart #a tragic jalebi #this is a 3k+ MONSTER yikes

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shirtlesssammy · 3 years

Text

6x16: ...And Then There Were None

Then:

Assistant Director Skinner and Mr. X were on Supernatural and I think that’s something to celebrate

Now:

At a truck stop, Eve finds a Jesus loving trucker and asks to tell him a secret. She goes to whisper in his ear, and instead, bites into it. The trucker comes home that night and bashes his wife’s head in with a claw hammer.

Bobby fills the brothers in on a string of monster sightings alone I-80, leading to the trucker’s murder ramage on his family.

They interview the trucker, who has no memory of the event.

The man is beyond distraught at what happened.

The trio then looks over the truck stop camera footage and they find Eve.

They discuss their options (Run) when the police get another call about another mass killing. Bobby heads out, only to find the FBI is already there --in the form of his old buddy Rufus.

They check out the victims.

Bobby finds goo in an ear. They decide to check out the cannery where the victims worked.

They meet up with Dean and Sam and all head inside to investigate. Once there, they find the Campbell clan. Dean instantly heads to off his granddad. Sam stops him. Rufus then breaks up the family reunion to focus on the case. Samuel tells the others that Eve, the mother of monsters, is on Earth. Bobby fills Gwen in on Samuel’s little betrayal of Sam and Dean, and she heads off to talk to Dean.

She asks about Samuel, and he confirms it. He then shoots her in the stomach. WHAT? When the others rush to her, Dean is gone.

Sam tries finding his brother. Rufus tries saving Gwen’s life. Neither is successful.

They split up to find Dean, who they believe has whatever the other killers had. Rufus and Samuel find Dean.

Dean tells the group that he had some kind of slimy worm thing crawl out of his ear. They have to make sure it actually left Dean though. Bobby makes everyone give up their guns. Until they figure out where the worm is and if it’s in somebody, they have to be cautious.

With the guns locked up, Bobby and Rufus get to calling people about what they're dealing with. Samuel heads off to use the bathroom, and Sam and Dean follow.

Rufus and Bobby get no leads. Bobby suggests going after the thing “guns blazing.” “Like Omaha,” Rufus retorts. Bobby gets pissed that Rufus would bring that up.

Dean and Sam corner dear old Grandpa Campbell into a family reunion. Samuel refuses to apologize, and the Winchester lads persist in their threats of murderous retribution. Dean notices goo oozing from Samuel’s ear just in time to stop him from firing some new holes into the Winchesters. Possessed!Samuel escapes into the factory.

They head out into the factory - hunting together in a pack like majestic wolves! At last, Dean’s horror movie obsession helps them out. (Never split up.) They discover booby traps! This is like Goonies except without the delightful pirate treasure!

Sam gets split off from the pack and encounters Samuel - who immediately works the Sam guilt angle. Samuel closes in and Sam shoots him in the head. (It’s times like this that I really resent Supernatural naming them “Sam” and “Samuel.”) When everyone else catches up, they cuff Sam. A little later, examining the body, they discover that Samuel’s ears are clean. CLEAN! No monster ear wax! IS Sam the infected one? They determine that further autopsy is needed, so Bobby and Rufus head out to get Bobby’s cranial saw. As one does.

Sam and Dean stand vigil over Samuel, and have a broment. They talk about feelings and guilt. Sam frets over what their mom would think about Sam killing her father. Dean opines that just because someone’s blood, it doesn’t make them family. When Bobby and Rufus return, the Winchesters leave the room in a flurry of soulful looks. Bobby and Rufus prepare to crack open Grandpa Campbell’s skull.

It’s Bobby’s turn to have a soulful moment over a dead body. He brings up Omaha - he should have listened to Rufus. While Rufus has spent this whole hunt exuding amused ease, he grows serious quickly when Bobby tries to apologize. “You can blab all day and it wouldn’t change a thing, Bobby,” he says angrily. “I’ll never forgive you for what happened.” Rufus advises Bobby to change the subject and my entire body goes cold and I hurt so much for these two characters!

Speaking of hurt...they start to cut into Samuel’s skull, only for the guy to wake up and start beating everyone up! (You can see where Dean inherited his not-dead-yet tendencies.) Samuel gets electrocuted and it chases the khan worm right out of his head.

They regroup, and try to figure out where the worm might have gone.

All their ears turn up clean, but Sam proposes electrocuting everyone to see if they’re possessed. Sam. Sweetie.

Dean volunteers to be electrocuted first. Dean. Sweetie.

They electrocute Sam, Dean, Rufus, and….Bobby tries to decline. As Rufus approaches, Possessed!Bobby stabs him. UGH. This is why I don’t rewatch this episode. RUFUS NOOOO!!!

Bobby wakes duct taped to a chair.

The worm speaks through Bobby. Enough people have died today, Possessed!Bobby posits. Do they really want to endanger Bobby’s life to defeat one little worm? Anyway, the worm’s eager to talk. “New monster just dropped,” the worm announces proudly (paraphrasing). Eve made him and she’s going to make monster-topia on Earth. She’s sent the worm to them with a message: “You’re all gonna die.” (I have to say, that packs a bigger punch than, say, scrawling “I am coming” on an angel’s chest.)

They tape over Bobby’s mouth, nose, and ears and order Bobby to hang on. They’re gonna fry themselves up a worm! (But hopefully not a Bobby.) The worm drops out of Bobby’s electrocuted body eventually and we end the scene with Sam breathlessly announcing that “he’s not breathing.”

Cut to the Winchesters standing over a fresh grave. Dun dun DUN.

Bobby joins them, and we’re left to mourn Rufus. He eulogizes Rufus: Bobby was just a mechanic until Rufus saved him from his possessed wife. Rufus taught Bobby all about hunting. They hunted together for years, until Omaha. Dean tosses his opinion in before Bobby spirals too far down the self-recrimination slide. Rufus should have forgiven Bobby because “life’s short. And ours are shorter than most. Are we gonna spend it wringing our hands? Something’s gonna get us eventually. And when my guts get ripped out, just so you two know...we’re good.” Dean offers a blanket absolution. Then Sam and Dean wander off as it starts to rain, leaving Bobby to drink and mourn his friend.

Long Live Rufus Quoter:

C’mon man, it’s not rocket surgery

Somebody needs a hug

Monster possession? That’s novel

If anything crawls out of anybody, somebody step on it

This can’t be my afterlife, ‘cause the three of you are here

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #bobby singer #rufus turner #Samuel Campbell #spn 6x16 #and then there were none #supernatural season 6

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szynkaaa · 4 years

Photo

I more or less watched The Boy!!! And by watching, I mean I skipped more or less through the jump scare parts because I cannot do horror movies at all. I haven’t watched one since 2015 and The Boy was like the first horror movie after five years

Full disclosure, the ONLY reason I started watching the movie was because someone posted a gif of Greta standing close to Brahms who was all sweaty and breathing heavily n I was like “oh shit who dat he hot” and here I am

Can anyone explain the sandwich scene to me? So Greta was scared shitless and locked herself in her room, but why did Brahms make her favorite sandwich for her?

I did some digging for interviews and generally what people have been saying about the movie, took some screenshots from youtube to put my thoughts and musing together too!

Can anyone explain the sandwich scene to me? So Greta was scared shitless and locked herself in her room, but why did Brahms make her favorite sandwich for her?

So first of all, let’s start with a low resolution photo I found on IG of James Russell without mask:

which brings me to my first musing/thought/question?

It’s all under the cut, very screenshot and text heavy, you can find more Brahms drawing at the bottom though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So at the end of the movie, we are shown a Brahms with a broken mask and his face being burned, indicating that he was in fact in the fire.

I assumed first that the fire was created by the parents to fake their sons death and then he had to live hidden inside the walls?

But I’ve also heard apparently it was Brahms who set the fire to fake his own death or maybe an eight years old kid really was trying to burn himself down??

My other theory is that his parents made the fire and tried to kill Brahms and it did burn him but he survived, and the parents didn’t wanna go to jail sooo to hide everything they made their son live in the walls

i mean the responsible thing would be to turn their kid in and have him treated and stuff;;; listened to a murder podcast about two cases where kids murdered enough kids and how they are doing now interesting read Brahms made me think of those two cases

I also do not think that the previous nannies were killed. Like, c’mon. You’d report a person missing and sooner or later it would go back to the Heelshire mansion and if the body counts piles up? Can’t look good and I doubt that the Heelshire wants the police investigating them close up.

Also, when the mom was like “He’s chosen you if you’ll have him” to Greta? Is it just me or the wording or does it sound like a marriage proposal/arrangement xD

Brahms is a brat and he sees the people around him as his possession or to toy around. But I also do think that he has some abandonment issues but not in the sad tragic kind of way lmao. Even if he was the one controlling and manipulating his parents from behind-the-scene (quite literally I suppose?), he was still told as a kid to live in hiding and that no one can know he is alive. I don’t know much about the human brain, but I can imagine how damaging that must be to his mental growth and set him back in some way? We don’t know too much about his relationship with his parents - but I assume that he must have still loved them in his own twisted way. Can’t imagine that he would have been indifferent about his parents suicide.

The scene before Greta manages to back out - first he uses the child voice to beg her to come back and promises he will be good. That’s his manipulating Greta, but when that doesn’t work and she tries harder to open the door, he becomes more desperate to keep her there and then completely loses his temper and threatens to kill Malcolm if she doesn’t return. I’m pretty sure homeboy would have killed him anyway. And then later when she returns and he is all heavy breathing and smelling her hair and then jumps up when she shouts Brahms? Idk I def think there is some sort of abandonment issue going on.

I don’t think he is a child stuck in a man’s body or manchild or whatever. I think that he does know how to take care of himself - but he just chooses to manipulate people with the facade of a kid to do his bidding and cater to his needs.

Anywhomst, but clearly Brahms is also a very manipulative and controlling person based, based on how the mother was reacting on the destroyed bedroom, she really seemed to be at the end of her wits and just breaking down with her “you promised you’d be good”. It was very heartbreaking to watch and also scary because it really makes you realize just how much power Brahms holds over them?? idk maybe it was just me.

Next point: the CGI mask + the burns

So according to some interviews with the director stated that at the first test streaming, people weren’t really scared of Brahms because he was too handsome so they had to slap a mask over his face. The face was done after everything was filmed. I’m thinking the face burns were also added post-production when they were adding the cgi mask. Otherwise, James would have needed to go through the makeup department for some wicked face burns and it would have been visible during the filming and test screening too? Which would imply that at first the fire was supposed to be just a cover story that their son is dead and it was changed later

Observation/thoughts on Brahms Heelshire

Love how he stands there with his hands behind his back and then nods when Greta tells him to go under the cover

James Russell is 191cm tall. So like. Brahms is really fucking tall. But I notice that most of the time he stands with a slight hunch. Could be due to him crawling through the walls and crawling out of places that requires him to do a lot of crouching. His bed in his hideout made me really sad, I’ll get to it later.

Since James didn’t get many lines in the ten minutes that he appeared, I do think that his eyes did all the acting. They stand out even more with the mask on, there is just this crazy look on it. I also noticed during my rewatch that he doesn’t seem to blink much or at all.

Oh yeah, he also peeped on Greta and Malcolm making out on the bed and then cockblocked them. We been knowing that he made a Greta doll and very likely jerked off to it. We also been knowing that he very very very likely wanted to bone Greta at the goodnight kiss scene still waiting for the maskeless kiss scene gimme gimme. I also highly doubt that Brahms has much first-hand experience with kissing n stuff. High key thinking he was trying to do copy Malcolm and do what he observed lmao

When I first watched the scene, I assumed that the hole behind the mirror has always been and it’s just another one of the hidden passages Brahms to slip in and out, but now that I’m looking at the shape of the holes, it seems to me more like the mirror and brick wall were broken at the same time?? If that is the case holy shit boy is s t r o n g. I mean, he also punched through the closet door like no big deal so really what have the parents been feeding him.

I’m also leaning toward the fact that he ran there because Greta screamed loudly. I don’t think he was in the room as them when everything went down there, it seemed more like he heard the scream and had to nyoomed over and then punched a way through to get out of the wall. And then went on to attack Cole. He must have known that Greta wanted Cole gone, since that what she whispered to the doll before going to bed.

Tbh, I fully expected him to murder Cole in his sleep, but Brahms wrote a warning message in blood to tell him to get out soooooo like. Cole you were warned and now you gotta live with the consequences ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Brahm’s sleeping corner

This scene was shown at the end after Greta and Malcolm escaped. We also see them briefly during the part where Greta and Malcolm are trying to find a way out and stumbled into Brahms’ hideout. I’m not sure why the rules are slapped on the walls. It seems to me that Brahms is very very very set on that the rules / routine should be followed. In the movie, he called Greta and suggested to her that she should follow the rules, to which she then started doing it.

I headcanon that that’s the routine that he grew up with as a kid and it’s just very very very very very hard to break out of it - not that he is trying to break the routine.

I’m failing to find a good way to put my thoughts into words, but I guess the rules and routine is sort of his coping mechanism?

I suppose if you had an OC that you ship Brahms with and want to change stuff around the house, the OC would have to very slowly introduce new rules and routines. Baby steps, yknow.

Brahms has a violin hanging there! Honestly I would be surprised if Brahms didn’t know how to play at least one instrument. The family also has an old ass piano/clavichord (?) and Brahms loves classical music soo yeah. Love me a boy who appreciates classical musical hehe

I suppose the egg boxes are there to soundproof the room more - maybe so he can play the violin?

There’s also music sheets hung around his attics, it’s not clear on the screenshots but when you rewatch the scene and shove your face close to the screen. Some are hanging next to the violin and there are some taped on the wall next to his bed and porn too

nice to see he has a fridge and microwave, I was concerned that he wasn’t well fed and that leftovers might not be enough, but then again. Dude is 191 cm so clearly he has been drinking his milk

Didn’t take a screenshot of his vanity, but there is a crocodile magnet stuck to the mirror hehe. I do think that he shaves and stuff, otherwise his beard would be much longer??

We can see more music sheets stuck to a pillar on the right.

Loving the christmas lights that he has hanging there above his bed. It’s cute.

On the shelf he has a bunch of tupperware and empty bowls. Most of hte things are neatly organized. We can also see some books and a pen

There’s some sunlight streaming inside - I do hope that Brahmsy stays warm during winters.

Here we can see more of the food that he has there - there is also a sink but I didn’t snatch a screenshot of it. I think those are potatoes in the pot? Maybe he does know how to cook some basic stuff, I do wonder if he has a functioning kitchen up there. Probably not for fire safety reasons lol

Yall see that thing on the note sheet covered pillar? Ngl, that’s a whole ass aesthetic right there.

He got a few potted plants up there. Took a closer look at them and it seems like they were healthy. So he knows how to take care of plants, which is nice to know I suppose?

Yes, we all know what he was doing with the doll and what the tissue balled up tissue implies. However, has anyone noticed the size of the bed???

If you scroll up a bit to the screenshot of Greta seeing the doll, it looks t i n y. The make shift doll takes up more than half of the space.

Yall. this breaks my heart. Dude is a beanstalk. I’m pretty sure the bed is from when he was a kid shoved by his parents to live inside the wall, does he have to sleep there in his adulthood too???

Even though Brahms strikes me as someone who probably doesn’t sleep much or during normal times, that bed must be so tiny for him. He must be sleeping with his knees bend and shit unable to stretch out :(((

Brahms: is a psychopath that smashed the skull of a girl and very abusive tormented his parents and then Greta Me: omg he needs a bigger bed that poor thing :(((

Brahms’ DIY corner

Ah yes, Brahm’s little DIY/creative corner.

Homeboy got lot of animal traps, cages and taxidermies hanging around, pointing strongly toward that it’s a hobby of it?

Also at the end where we see him fixing up the doll, we can get a better shot at his desk, and I gotta say the threads and stuff are all very nicely organized. Brahms’s table looks more organized than mine does lmao.

So we know he is a crafty boy. Not sure how difficult taxidermy is but I imagine it does take a lot of time to learn? Well he had all the time in the world anyway.

So yeah, that’s a wrap. Congrats if you made it to the bottom of my incoherent thoughts and ramblings, have a bonus drawing of Brahms wearing different masks:

#the ham talks #brahms heelshire #the boy #the boy 2016 #brahms #brahmbling

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blookmallow · 4 years

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i finally rewatched Us watching for details... I also took a bunch of screenshots, I’ve mentioned before I live in santa cruz and grew up going to this boardwalk so im obsessed with this movie, I’m going to go try to take some better comparison shots sometime (here’s a few I took before) (and here’s a Tethered mannequin that was outside of the frightwalk for a while. i havent been inside for ages so I don’t know if they moved him inside or if he’s just gone now) (i HOPE they did something with the theme considering the frightwalk is literally a horror attraction beneath the boardwalk. i dont really want to go in there by myself though lmao. not a fan of animatronics jumping out and screaming at me)

this is a lot, i have many things to say

-----------------

- the opening news segment is 11 at 11

- you can faintly see adelaide/red’s reflection in the tv screen, with a toy rabbit (her shirt also has twin lines on it in multiple places but that could be looking too far lmao)

- in the “Hands Across America” segment (aside from the obvious red figures linked together in the logo) : “from the golden gate bridge to the twin towers” another possible 11/twinning, and it starts in california, which is where the tethered revolution begins

- on “from sea to shining sea” the exact same coastline image is just flipped

(there’s also another 11 on the side of the TV here)

- “This summer, 6 million people will tether themselves together”

- brief mirroring in the boardwalk ad, not just two girls running on the beach but also two girls with upside down reflections in the ground,

- fairly obvious one, but “find yourself” (as a sidenote there’s nothing in that spot irl, the roller coaster and the swings are real but there was never a ‘vision quest’ or a ‘merlin forest’ as far as I know and there’s no door or anything there either, the interior shots must’ve been done separately somewhere else) (nothing’s left here from the movie now either, I have no idea when they filmed it because I never saw anything or heard anything about it)

- adelaide/red whistles “the itsy bitsy spider” when the lights go out in the vision quest - “down came the rain and washed the spider out,” it’s raining outside when her tethered comes up (and she is dragged down). she also drops her red apple on the ground before she enters

- zora’s rabbit shirt

- everyone else is eating fast food of some kind, except adelaide, who is eating red strawberries

as well as being a visual cue, its possible she has an aversion to meat if she was forced to eat raw rabbit as a child

- young adelaide arranging animals in the sand (it seems like some of the tethered tend to mirror their counterpart’s movements, so it’s possible she’s mirroring red, though it’s probably not that likely she’d be planning this early/the dance hasnt happened yet so its probably just foreshadowing)

- young adelaide very pointedly watches “her” mother crying, saying “I just want my little girl back” - she will never have her little girl back again, though she doesn’t know it (I’m not sure if adelaide still remembers what she’s done at this point either)

its also mentioned that ‘grandma’ has passed away as of the present time, likely adelaide’s mother (i dont remember if its stated outright but since the house belonged to the grandma, and it’s in santa cruz, that would line up) so. the tethered mother, if she’s still alive, would not kill red’s real mother in the uprising. dont know about the father, or if red knows/cares about this, but. thats there. that also means the original mother will never know what happened with her daughter (likely the father won’t either, it’s not clear if he’s still alive but there’s no mention of him being around/he’s not at the house so it seems likely he passed already too)

- adelaide, her reflection, and a (not so) itsy bitsy spider

theres even two spiders, one a toy, one real

- jason crawls out of a cabinet at zora’s feet and scares her while she’s looking in a mirror (which is also a very pluto-like movement)

- adelaide finds the toy rabbit in a box; assuming the intro was chronological, we saw “her” with it in the tv screen reflection before she went to the boardwalk, so this was red’s rabbit first (she probably does not remember this, though) (red also later finds this and cuts off the head, not sure why though)

- adelaide “sees” her child self in the room with her (in her memory) learning her dance alongside her reflection

but the reflection is the one she “sees” looking directly at her

(she’s also interrupted by hearing her son, above her, screaming because he’s trapped, but that might not be intentional) (though when red comes down here later, she is also interrupted by her son getting stuck in the closet too)

- she’s also wearing a choker necklace with a matching gold bracelet, maybe an allusion to. the choking and the handcuffs, again i might be looking into it too much, but. the white clothes which steadily become red with blood seems very intentional so i wouldnt be surprised if the jewelry was planned specifically too

- its really hard to see and its a split second throwaway comment but kitty goes “oh isnt that beautiful” showing her the magazine and i thhiiiink thats a white girl in a native american headdress :’ ) probably doesnt have. much deeper meaning other than ‘clueless white friends’ but

- guy buried in sand comes bursting to the surface again and scares his friends (also eyyooooo you can see the wharf in the background im down there all the time) (sorry this is still wild to me. i grew up here ive been to that beach like 9 million times)

- i didnt catch it and was waiting for it to be shown again and it wasnt and i dont want to go back for it but anyway jason has a drawing of a bunch of people holding hands in a line like the hands across america thing in his room, theres a lot of drawings around and we see his drawing of the first untethered, so he probably drew that as well

- jason has a hard time communicating, but he seems to use drawing as a way to express himself. he doesn’t tell his mother about the encounter with the old man (and only shrugs when he’s asked about it) but he does draw it. adelaide found self expression through dance when she was a child before she was able to talk, so he probably got those traits from her. her voice also goes low and hollow on the line “I just didn’t know if you were lost, or... taken”

- her voice also gets very strange when she’s talking about her memory of the encounter in the vision quest. low, shaky, harsh. its fascinating hearing how much alike the voices are (obviously they’re both the same actress/if the tethered are clones it makes sense that they’d have identical vocal chords but like. red’s got a fucked up voice. hearing echos of that in adelaide is wild and i didnt notice it at all before)

- its not clear whether adelaide actually remembers what she did, or even realizes she was the copy - is she trying to protect her family from what she believes was the girl who almost took her, or trying to stop her from getting her revenge? she describes the event to gabe as if she was the one who was attacked but escaped, and im not sure if she’s lying or has convinced herself that’s the truth

something’s going on with jason and pluto too but I don’t quite know what it is. when we first see jason he’s wearing a Jaws shirt, kind of a similar vibe to the thriller shirt, and when the tethered arrive he’s wearing a white tuxedo t shirt, white matching his mother’s white outfit. the others all go off to kill their doubles but pluto holds jason’s hand, sits with him quietly, watches his magic trick, he’s told to go “play” which. obviously has a violent undertone to it but he doesn’t actually try to kill him. i dont even remember seeing him with the scissors. why are jason and pluto different. why does pluto get stuck mirroring jason’s movements even to the point of his death but the others dont. why didn’t adelaide mirror red

i guess its possible its because pluto is the youngest in the family so maybe he hasn’t broken out of his connection yet? they didnt really ever explain how they learned to do that

and as for the connection with adelaide it. could just be that jason takes after his mom more and zora takes after her dad more but that seems too simple. i mean theres the theory going around that jason was actually switched with his clone too at some point and its got some good points (jason forgetting the magic trick, getting stuck in the closet again, etc) but theres a whole line of logic to debunk that too so its just. What’s Going On Here

cal 11

i took the first pic to get a comparison shot at the same place later irl but then noticed the ambulance they come across is the same one (#2) they saw earlier

pretty obvious but the real rabbit comes out through the picture of an identical rabbit (there’s also probably a “rabbit hole” allusion here)

i noticed this before too but now i have a screenshot of it, im the rabbit in the background just chilling on the floor during the climax here

- im sure i must have seen this before but i forgot about it. the 11:11 guy’s tethered didn’t have a sign so he just.......carved it into his head

- it never healed, either, he did it badly enough to scar

- red says “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, how you could have taken me with you” - she doesn’t mean adelaide ran off and left her there. adelaide made the choice to trap her in the underground. its possible red might have even been thinking how she would have let adelaide come with her if given the chance, which. i mean, i dont know how her parents would have reacted to suddenly having identical twins out of nowhere, but like. knowing there’s a chance red might have accepted her. and all this could have been different

this is definitely a movie that’s not really intended to be fully explained, there’s a lot of questions that aren’t really supposed to be answered, but nonetheless one of my biggest concerns is where do the clothes come from underground. red tells us they were all abandoned down there generations ago so nobody’s supervising or providing anything. how do they end up with copies of the clothing their counterparts are wearing. and here adelaide has a messed up faded old shirt that either looks similar to red’s shirt or is the same shirt just badly damaged, she switches it with red’s before she goes out for good so that explains how she gets the new shirt, but where did this one come from. why is it different if the other clothes aren’t

and of course there’s the whole question of “where did they all get these red jumpsuits from” but again. questions that aren’t really the point, i guess

#liveblog general #Us #us movie #jordan peele #us 2019 #pinned #media analysis

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lesbianrobin · 4 years

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takeaways from rewatching "the flea and the acrobat" :

1. lonnie tells jonathan to take down his "the evil dead" poster because it's "inappropriate" which is rich coming from a guy who didnt give a shit when his girlfriend made sexually suggestive comments about jonathan like two days ago

2. winona... you own me

3. the kids are all SO BAD at pretending will is dead... dustin very loudly talks about how he's gonna tell will about the funeral later WHILE HE'S STILL AT THE FUNERAL

4. hopper is hot also callahan asks if he's off his meds again when he's acting erratically... 👀

5. lucas got KNOCKED OUT FOR A MINUTE when el flung him off of mike... bro what the fuck is this kid okay

6. okay so. a lot happened with nancy and jonathan in this episode and i will break them down here:

7. they haven't spent much time together at all but as soon as they start shooting at the cans, jonathan basically volunteers a bunch of personal information to nancy, which makes me think that he honestly doesn't have the Highest standards for who he trusts or deems a friend because nancy treating him like normally is way better than people usually treat him. also he is very emotional and when nancy was kinda like "wow u rly cried for a week over killing a rabbit" he said "i'm a fan of thumper" and if that isn't some weird fucking euphemism for being gay i don't know what is

8. nancy talks about straight people getting married and settling down to start a nuclear family and jonathan immediately says "fuck that" and then she repeats it. jonathan is gay.

9. jonathan tries to like... defend why he took the pictures?? by being weird and judgmental and kinda misogynistic??? it's honestly a weird fucking scene because he's like "i saw a girl who was PRETENDING" and it's like okay bro you guys aren't friends!! you don't know her!! he and nancy call each other out and they're both sort of right about each other while still both kind of being assholes. one thing is for sure, they fucking hate each other!

10. nancy says steve is a good guy and jonathan doesn't have any points to support why he isn't. jonathan just says that he doesn't like the majority of people, and steve is one of them. this means that steve hasn't ever bullied jonathan or wronged him before in any personal way, jonathan just doesn't like his vibes for whatever reason (because he's gay and hates straight people/poor and hates rich people/has bad hair and hates people who have good hair)

11. jonathan holding a gun and a flashlight in the woods is the absolute gayest shit i have EVER seen yes i am stereotyping him and i don't care

12. JONATHAN CAN PICK LOCKS!!! after the funeral, he picks the lock on his father's glove box to steal his gun. where did jonathan learn how to pick locks??? has he been oliver twist-ing around hawkins when money gets tight?????

13. ok i'm done talking about ratboy there was just so much going on with him this episode. now let's talk about my number one boy, steve. it is SO AWKWARD when he comes to apologize to nancy!! he's doing good until he asks about barb and nancy says there's no news, at which point he clearly has no idea what to say and abruptly changes the subject like "hey wanna catch a movie tonight <3" and i KNOW that he's like doing his best and he thinks that avoiding the problem is the best thing to do but GOD it's painful to watch. it makes me feel bad for nancy

14. el... i adore you baby! el has some real sad moments in this episode and i wish that i had more to write about the kids, but they were just... god they were babies...

15. mike owns like ten fucking compasses for some reason little freak <3

16. dustin can recognize knockoff brand nilla wafers by taste. he shows off this trick, loudly, at his poor friend's wake. the epitome of class!

17. nancy literally WANTS to die this bitch just fully crawls into a hole in a tree all alone with no plan... good grades do NOT equal intelligence!!!!

18. nancy DID however wear fingerless gloves with her sick "target practice in the woods" ensemble and it was AWESOME it was stunning i miss that look and i think it was the peak of her wardrobe

#em talks #stranger things #long post #st rewatch

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darawonplease · 4 years

Text

trauma. ch1.1 - i’m doomed

Dara rewatches her infamous confession to SECHSKIES leader Eun Jiwon. She finally decides what to do when a message ruins her plans.

characters. Eun Jiwon x Sandara Park, CL, Park Bom

A.N. In the following chapter I refer to two different shows Dara has appeared on. The links to those videos are in the titles of the two shows that are mentioned at the start).

chapter 1 - i’m doomed, part. 1

[dara pov]

I turned on the tv with reluctance, a frown appearing on my face. I intended to avoid that very episode of Hun Maen Jung Eum since it first aired, but there I was, the curiosity of knowing how the scene I shoot was broadcasted on national tv being a valid reason to tune in on MBC’s channel.

[...]

“Dara had a crush on someone for 22 years…”.

The MC read through his script; my back tensed as soon as I heard my name called. In all honesty I didn’t expect the production to bring this news up.

“…that person is the one sitting beside her---”

“Here it is”. I thought, resting my sulky face on the remote I had in my hands.

“--- Eun Jiwon”. The MC revealed with a huge grin on his face.

I saw myself smiling on the tv screen but at the time I wanted to crawl in a hole in the ground and disappear forever.

“When Sandara was offered to be on Hun Maen Jung Eum she agreed without hesitation. She said that she liked three people on this show: JeA, Joonhyung and Jiwon”. Stated the MC while flipping the pages he held in his right hand.

“Woo~”. The people I mentioned smiled out of content, appearing pretty pleased by my statement.

I gulped as the MC continued to read the interview I had prior to filming, I felt instant regret. I should’ve known better then. Of course, they saw my confession for Jiwon-oppa on Video Star, the episode in question aired a couple of months before shooting Hun Maen Jung Eum.

I remember the day I was casted on that talk show so vividly. I had just started to appear on variety shows and winning a spot as host was one of the biggest accomplishments of that year.

“Sandara-ssi, we’re glad to let you know you’ve been casted as a fixed host on the program, congratulations”.

“Ne! I’m grateful for the opportunity given to me, I won’t let you down!”. I closed the call; a sudden burst of energy took over my body as I started doing my “victory dance”.

“Yay~ I’ve been casted Wonjun-ssi~”.

I jumped up and down while holding both of his hands.

“Isn’t It a great day to be Sandara Park’s manager-nim?”. I flashed my best smile and started dancing again, my limbs waving all over the place.

“It’s great Dara-ssi”. He hid his perplexity as to why I was acting like that behind a sheepish smile.

JJangmae-oppa was known for being 2NE1’s manager. YG ent. fired him right after the group disbanded, as we all had our own personal managers. JJangmae-oppa wasn’t just monitoring us, he affirmed himself as an older brother figure, cherishing us when YG sajang-nim scolded our group for not being pretty enough, for not being successful enough. Jjangmae-oppa saw us as people and not products, that’s why, seeing him disappear from our lives so suddenly, left a big hole in our hearts, firing up the resentment towards the unfairness of the decision made by the company.

The legendary sunbae-nim, Tony Ahn, member of H.O.T. was invited as guest on the first episode I hosted of Video Star; thinking back it was such a smart move on the production team part to cast me, knowing the relationship I had with Tony-oppa. Milking it created quite a stir, in fact.

Our ambiguous friendship became the main topic soon enough. The guest list included people in the friends circle me and Tony-oppa shared so they knew how to tease and prompt him into revealing what was his stance when it came to our relationship.

“When Dara got drunk, she had the silly idea of putting the bottle’s cap on her eyes, we all happily laughed about it”. JeA-eonni suddenly became a dispenser of embarrassing scenes, and I was the protagonist of them all. Who knew that she’d share other awkward stories about me later, on Hun Man Jung Eum too.

“Do you know what he said to me? He went - Don’t make her do those things!”.

Tony-oppa clapped his hands, embarrassed.

“I didn’t even tell her to do that!”. JeA-eonni was clearly upset as she stood up from her seat to directly complain with Tony-oppa, who sat right beside her.

“So - he must care about Dara a lot”. Commented Sook-eonni, glancing at me.

He defended himself – “I had such great fantasies about her, I thought it was impossible for her to think about doing so on her own”.

“He really doesn’t know how to date, as he got older, he even became more fearful and shy, he limits himself to observing only - so I told him that if he keeps observing he’ll lose her”. JeA-eonni was obviously determined to unveil every detail of the story.

Hyejong-eonni joined in the mission of collecting every piece of evidence that pointed at Tony-oppa being interested in me.

“That that’s why I suspected him and Sandara! He actually wanted to ask her out, but he lost his timing and Dara reacted passively at it, so you just ended up being friends”.

“Tony-ssi, are you observing Dara-ssi right now?”. Narae filled her role as host, interrogating him like a detective.

“She’s just a girl friend and there is no I way I could develop anything other than that. That is not what I thought when I first met her, who knows what might happen; that’s what I thought” – He replied with honesty.

“Then why did you keep watching her slowly and didn’t go for it right away?” – JeA-eonni spoke up again, interrogating him. She could pass as a host because of the fiery desire to uncover the truth.

A short sigh left Tony-oppa’s mouth. - “At that time, we didn’t have any occasion to meet”.

“So, you guys didn’t have any connection”. Concluded Sook-eonni from the host panel.

“There was documentary about her in Korea back then – I somehow managed to watch it and noticed she was good at singing and dancing, she was also pretty and charming – I made up my mind and wanted to producer the singer Sandara Park”. He revealed proudly, I didn’t know he had such high regards for me as an artist.

He went on saying: “But then an article came out – Sandara signed a contract for YG entertainment”.

“I thought he had been observing her for just a month but it’s been already 15 years!”. Exclaimed JeA-eonni, talking to the cameras, furrowing her brows.

“He is like the man in Old boy”. Eana-eonni commented, poking fun at Tony-oppa. He crossed his arms and laughed off, dumbfounded.

“This oppa really loves you Sandara!”.

I slightly felt uneasy as they kept pushing in that direction, I kept dwelling on how I should react without hurting his feelings as I, unfortunately, didn’t reciprocate.

Narae interrupted the laughter that filled the room until then.

“I don’t know if I should say this right now….”.

The atmosphere on set suddenly changed, a chill danced up my back not knowing what she was going to say.

“...well, Sandara has another man in her heart”. She stated with total seriousness.

“Ack-…” murmured Tony-oppa, with a disappointed look on his face.

“We also know about that”. Commented all the female guests sitting the other side of the room.

“Dara-ssi likes…. Eun Jiwon-ssi!”. Narae slammed her hand on the table as she looked away from the guests. She sure knew how to create a commotion.

I was taken aback, hearing his name all of a sudden made my heart flutter, but I didn’t hold grudges at Narae for revealing it, I somehow felt better because of the burden taken off of my chest.

A multitude of voices quickly started to overlap one another across the room.

“Eh?! Do you still do?”.

“I knew it!”.

“Yes, she does!”.

“Stop hurting him and say the truth!”.

Tony-oppa’s ears became red, he remained silent at the sudden revelation.

Jiwon-oppa was the leader of another legendary boy-group I loved in my teen years, SECHSKIES. It was a known fact that H.O.T and SECHSKIES were rival groups back in the day. Fans used to scramble with one another for their favorite singers. It sounded funny to think the feud didn’t stop with the music.

“Will your fans fight again for this?”. Hangbo-eonni joked, trying to defuse the situation.

“Leave the girl – there was a SECHSKIES song that went like that!”. Narae referred to the song “Chivalry” perhaps, but I remember the lyrics differently.

“How could I leave you like this?”. Hangbo started to sing SECHSKIES Road Fighter, playing around.

Tony’s soul left his body as he turned on his seat, trying to fleet the situation by facing the wall behind him.

“But Jiwon-oppa doesn’t know about this though – this is the first time I’m saying this”. I stated looking around the room.

“Ah- is that so?”.

“Since when have you been watching him?”. Sook-eonni’s eyes lit up with interest as she asked me for further information.

“…since 1997”, I muttered before bursting in a fat laugh, my cheeks becoming more and more red as we kept talking about the man I’ve been admiring for such a long time.

“The important thing is if she still likes him even now”. Commented Park Sohyun-ssi.

“Well… recently we’re in the same agency… - I’ve also been to their concert last time and he was so cool”.

I didn’t know how affectionate I sounded before re-watching this scene after the episode aired. My eyes filled with love and admiration as soon as I started to talk about him.

“He looks so tsundere!”. I finished my confession on that note, contented with my own honesty. The thought of him made my heart pit-a-pat hard.

JeA, Hangbo and Eana-eonni turned their backs away from Tony and created a small girl gathering where they started to whisper to one another.

“Tell me something about it”.

“She really likes him”.

“You didn’t know it?”.

“I knew it, but I thought she already put away her feelings”.

I was so relaxed and contented when confessing on that occasion. It was perceived as an innocent crush, something to laugh about during lunch. It only looked like I was a big fan, not a big deal at all.

But on Hun Maen Jung Eum, right beside him? I felt my heart sinking deep. I hated the thought of coming across so insisting and foolishly adoring of him – right in front of him. Revealing how much I payed attention to him recently made me look so hopelessly in love with him. Which I was not.

I shook my head and payed attention to the program that was being broadcasted on my tv.

The MC kept reading - “Joonhyung-oppa and Jiwon-oppa have different meaning for me”.

Everyone burst out laughing at my straight forwardness.

The Sandara on the tv started clapping her hands, uselessly trying to hide from the impending embarrassment.

“Joonhyung-oppa feels like a senior while for Jiwon-oppa…”.

“Please don’t say it…”. I begged in front of the tv over and over again, even if perfectly aware of what was going to happen soon after.

“...he really is like a man to me~”.

The guests gazed at me at once and screamed in disbelief, it was a commotion.

“Can I really say something so burdensome?”. The me on the screen blurted out while covering her face with her hands, as if that could prevent the sense of regret from manifesting.

I remember my stomach turning on itself, cold sweat was pouring down my forehead. I tried to control those violent reactions happening inside of me but failed miserably.

“I shouldn’t say burdensome things”. I uttered again while looking away.

“It’s not~”. I could see on my screen that Jiwon-oppa was averting his eyesight while saying so, with a sheepish smile on his face.

JeA-eonni then intervened revealing her testimony too. I realized only then that she knew so many things about me, making her a perfect snitch on the variety shows we participated together.

I was surrounded by my own embarrassment and couldn’t flee in any way. No matter where I looked, there was no way to avoid meeting someone else’s derogatory glare.

“We had finished a schedule together and were at the salon-…” She started, guiding everyone’s attention towards herself.

“…I told Dara I had a schedule with Jiwon-oppa” – She went on.

“Ah ~ Isn’t our Jiwon-oppa perfect?”. She mimicked me perfectly, from the high-pitched tone to the gestures, my jaw dropped to the ground at how accurate it was.

The studio filled with laughter again, so I just got along with the guests’ reaction and chuckled with them.

“Eonniii, why did you reveal that? I thought we were frieeends~”. I whined at the screen, throwing myself on my leather couch. The weight of my words appearing on my chest.

“Wow! Your vocal impression of her is exactly the same!”. Jiwon-oppa jumped out of his seat and exclaimed pointing at JeA-eonni.

“No but, seriously”. She continued.

My only ally was aspiring against me, strength escaped from my extremities, all I could do was witness my own self being torn apart in front of my crush, on national tv no less.

“Dara said that since he changed his hairdo, he looks younger than recent idols”. could feel my heart sink. I didn’t realize how childish my words sounded until someone else said them.

Various text appeared on the screen “Sandara who seems blinded by love”.

“WHY WOULD THEY WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THAT, AIGOO!”. I protested again, slamming my feet on the couch repeatedly.

I pointed at my tv, complaining about something I couldn’t change. I hid my face behind a small pillow, but I could still view the scene happening in my head, even with my eyes closed shut.

The hosts and guests gave mixed reactions. There were some oh’s and eh’s.

“Isn’t this an exaggeration?”. Jiwon oppa turned his head and referred to me, raising his eyebrow.

At the time I fled his confused gaze creating a wall with my hands in between us. I could not look at him normally, go figures if I had the gut to glance at him in a situation like that.

It was all or nothing, I gulped hard and quickly collected my courage – or what was left of it. What I could do was just go with it and confess altogether before other embarrassing testimonies popped out from nowhere.

I wouldn’t stop blurting about him for years, every time his name left my lips, I witnessed irked expressions on my friends’ faces because of how repetitive and annoying I got. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had prepared other 50 testimonies to demonstrate my total and earnest adoration for him.

“Because he is next to me… I don’t know if I can say this…”. I muttered, keeping my hand-walls between him and me. My cheeks flushing by the minute.

I didn’t get to see his reaction while filming, it was the first time for me to actually watch how he behaved in that situation.

He looked straight in front of him, covering his mouth with one hand and listening attentively to what I was going to declare.

Joonhyung sunbae-nim smiled from to cheek to cheek like a pleased father, earnest to hear about my crush on Jiwon-oppa.

“And why do you like Jiwon-hyung?”. One of the hosts stood up and asked, raising his eyebrows in confusion.

“What do you like about him?”. Repeated another female host, her eyes sparkling with great interest.

“Well… he’s handsome”.

“Where did I get the guts to say that in front of him? eottokeeee?”. I facepalmed, feeling second-hand embarrassment for the Dara on screen.

Jiwon-oppa looked away, his cheeks turning red like two big tomatoes as soon as he heard my praises. An innocent smile popped up on his lips, showing the two front teeth he usually tried to hide behind his hands. He kept fidgeting as if he did not know how to put himself. His reaction was similar to the one you’d have when someone sings you “Happy birthday”. All you can do is just witness it and be grateful, even if it’s super-embarrassing.

“Ah~ but last time, from the Pom Saeng Pom Sa era he was like this, he had a tsundere charm”.

I basically repeated what I’ve revealed on Video Star. I refused to unveil more than what was already known to the public, what was revealed was already enough.

“But in real life he’s really kind…” I finished, emphasizing on the word kind.

I knew because of the You tube date that took place a year prior. Even if he looked cold and uninterested on the outside, he was quite comforting and soft-spoken once you got to know him.

am i really saying this out loud?

I felt dumbfounded, my body wanting to explode under the constant pressure I experienced throughout the conversation.

The MC spoke up, “Did you know about her feelings?”. He asked directly to Jiwon to keep the hype up.

I finally had the strength to look at him, anticipating his response. I was curious as to how he’d react.

He sat up, reuniting his hands, and looked around the studio.

“Well...uh”. He stuttered.

He rotated his whole body towards the MC who was questioning him - “22 years sounds like an exaggeration, but… when SECHKIES reunited, she came to the concert and cheered for us”, he indicated me with his left hand, avoiding turning my direction.

“I also really like 2NE1, because of that, I also felt really nervous and fluttering feeling…”. He finished on a high note, not giving any hints and directing the topic elsewhere, perfectly gaining control over the conversation.

“YAH, it’s weirder because you are saying it so gently!”, lamented Joonhyung sunbae-nim jumping out of his sit and pointing at Jiwon-oppa.

“YOUR TONE IS WEIRD!”. Shouted the male host.

Jiwon-oppa was known for his straight-forwardness and bold way of speaking. Him suddenly being soft-spoken caused agitation on set.

“I’ve had enough!” I whimpered. I reached for the remote to try to turn off the tv.

“YOU’RE SO STUBBORN, DAMN REMOTE”.

I hit it against the arm of the couch until the tv finally turned off.

“I gets more embarrassing the more I watch it…”, I murmured under my breath, the scene kept playing in my head in loop, line a broken record.

I got up and glanced outside my window, I really could use some fresh air to calm myself up. It was a chilly night of August, there wasn’t much movement on the street in front of my apartment.

did I really manage to say those things?

I moved towards the kitchen as I craved a big cup of green tea, maybe that could have helped with calming my nerves.

I stretched my arm to get a hold of the teabags in the cupboard on my left and patiently waited for the water to boil. The only sounds that could be heard in my flat were the ones coming from the water bubbling up in the boiler and my long and deep sighs.

I shook my head hoping to erase my memories but the mocking laugh and mixed reaction from that one episode echoed in my ears.

I was used to narrate over the top stories adding my own flare to them, it became my trademark. I was Sandara Park, the former member of 2NE1 and the one in charge of portraying absurd stories in my cutesy way.

That was different. I could already see the whole world looking down own me. The riot in my stomach was just a sign of how affected I felt because of that matter.

A week had passed from the original airing date of the episode, but I still had a hard time overcoming that river of thoughts that washed me up like a giant tsunami.

~ brbrbrbrbrbr~ tic ~

The boiler had accomplished its work. I sat on a stool in front of the island counter and started to pour the water in my red mug. It appeared as a regular mug to the eyes of strangers, but it had meaning to me.

Chaerin had gifted it to me when she returned from L.A. to visit. It was a hard time for her, she wouldn’t tell me at first so I invited her to stay over at my house for a couple of days; only the thought of her going through a difficult time alone made my heart shutter in a million pieces.

I started to use the mug any chance I could to demonstrate her that I appreciated her thought, a small smile would appear on her face whenever she saw me sipping from it. That same smile was like a minuscule gap in the enormous wall she was trying so hard to build around herself.

We sat right there, in front of the counter, when she revealed her honest thoughts. Her voice started trembling as she confessed to me that she wished to leave YG ent., the agency we worked together for the past 13 years. Small teardrops would fall onto the counter, forming a small puddle. I squeezed her for an unreasonable amount of time, feeling her body shudder against mine every time she sobbed. Her warmth against my skin it’s what I reminisced when sipping a hot beverage out of that L.A. red mug.

She then returned in the U.S, far from the mistreatment she received in the motherland. I couldn’t blame her because she was right. She had every right to do so and so did I. The difference between us was that she was stronger than me.

My home suddenly looked like a big cage where a lonely rabbit hops in search for an exit that doesn’t exist.

i am that rabbit.

Dadoong meowed, as if wanted to talk back to me.

“You’re not alone as long as I’m here”, something like that. Or maybe he was just hungry, that was probably the case.

I kneeled on the wooden floor and started caressing his smooth fur. “Mian~ I almost forgot about you, my cutie~”. I whispered to him.

“meowww~”. He responded closing his small like buttons yes.

“I hope that means that you’ve forgiven me haha~”.

I replenished his bowl with cat food, the sound of his paws on the wood was quite adorable. I smiled looking at him eating peacefully.

I stood up and took the mug, blowing on the hot tea to take it to a reasonable drinking temperature.

With the corner of my eyes I noticed a couple of notifications popping up on my cellphone’s screen. I slowly but steadily got towards the couch, trying hard not to tip over the tea. There was a small coffee table in front of me where I had placed my cellphone prior. I left the mug on it and picked up the phone.

I hummed – “mhh- I wonder what they’re saying about me on SNS”.

I scrolled through the news of Naver, the infamous Hun Maen Jung Eum confession being in second and third place in the “most researched” list.

“ Sandara Park Admits To Having A Crush On SECHSKIES’s Eun Ji Won For The Past 22 Years ”

I pressed on the article and started scrolling down to look at the comments beneath it.

[+510 – 2] Aww he looks so flustered, so cute ~

[+ 436 -29] Does she not know he’s a divorcee?

[+386 – 5] I hope they start dating after this~ ㅋㅋㅋ

[+203 – 76] I wonder how awkward it is between them now

[+105 – 2] Isn’t it obvious that he doesn’t like her?

[+57– 46] She is such a boring person, no wonder he doesn’t take interest in her.

[+48 – 9] ㅎㅎㅎ she confessed to have dated many celebrities and now claims to be in love with Eun Jiwon for 22 years, what a b*tch

“Ahh, i would’ve been better off without reading this huhu~”.

The malicious comments pierced right through my confidence, unveiling all my insecurities.

It is the harsh reality, one can’t possibly hope to be liked by everyone, still, those words were like salt on an open wound. I already felt vulnerable, as if someone stole my umbrella during a storm. All the opinions were painful waterdrops cascading on my head. A few do not hurt you but one after another they lead you to madness.

I’ve had been in this harsh industry for over 10 years, but I admitted to being still too vulnerable mentally to sustain the weight of words spouted at me.

A tear travelled lonely down my cheek as I threw the cellphone down on the couch, disappointed.

I already knew he perceived me as a hoobae and not as a woman, I was aware of that. That was exactly why I was so bothered by how I came off on tv. I disliked the idea that he would think of me as a delusional fool.

I sniffed and wiped off the tear with the long sleeve of my checkered pajama.

I enjoyed admiring him from afar, supporting him without being an annoyance, liking him without the risk of getting burned. I fangirled over him with all my girl friends, as if I were a 15-year-old again but deep inside I knew my liking to him had gone a bit further than just an innocent teen crush.

I knew he had divorced too; I was crushed at the thought of him suffering like that. Witnessing the love of a lifetime whiter with his own two eyes. How could people judge him for that?

love is not easy.

nothing is.

For work I was often surrounded by handsome celebrities who wouldn’t hesitate to confess their crushes on me, I’ve always managed to keep my cool and stay professional but there I was, my hands would tremble anytime Jiwon-oppa appeared in the same room, my body flinched anytime he’d touch me, even if inadvertently. I couldn’t control the redness from expanding on my cheeks when he talked to me.

behave self.

It wasn’t news that I dated a couple of celebrities since my debut, I even revealed how we met for dates on the same episode I confessed to Jiwon-oppa. It was thrilling to hide from the reporters, every relationship felt like a spy movie.

Those romance weren’t exactly k-drama worthy. Most of the times I was just a price to be won, I knew it deep down. It wasn’t anything more than a way to fill the silence in my flat with the pounding on the walls. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself that they loved me as much as I did, I was only a side event for when they were lonely.

Looking back, I wasn’t proud of my behavior. He gave me attention and I conceded him my body. I could feel his warm skin against mine, but when placing my ear to his chest, I didn’t hear his heart thumping. Relationship after relationship, the result didn’t change. Blinded by need for company I kept making the same mistake over and over again.

Bom-eonni once found me crying after one broke up with me. Reason being, he had enough of our relationship. He wasn’t wrong, it was me who expected it to be more than it actually was and ended up being disappointed.

“You’ll get hurt, please stop”. I remember her squeezing me until I implored her to stop, that eonni always ignored my weak build every time she embraced me.

“Dara don’t do this. Please”. She begged on the phone countless times because seeing me hurt like that was torture for her. She started to stay over at my place in case the man I was seeing decided to harass me.

I put a hold on dating after that, I gained control of my vulnerability for once.

Silence returned in my flat.

the life of an idol is quite lonely.

~parararing parararing - parararing parararing ~

“Dara-eonni ~ are you busy? how are you doing?”.

It was Chaerin-ah who called me.

“Hi Chaerin-ah ~ I’m doing fine… have you eaten yet? Don’t worry, I’m just chilling - I feel so tired.... ah~”.

“Honestly, lately I’ve lost my appetite”.

“How come? Force yourself to eat, even just an apple”.

I suddenly reminisced our trainee days. I was so thin compared to the other members; YG sajang-nim decided to put them all on a diet. I still felt guilty; there was nothing I could do because that was just how my body was built. I offered myself to diet alongside them, not to make them feel lonely but Bom-eonni whined at me – “You’re already so skinny, what’s the use of dieting Dara-yah?!”.

We were dubbed as ugly girl group, YG sajang-nim was the first one to call us that. The pressure of being pretty weighted on us whenever we made a public appearance beside other girls groups or ate something that had more than 200 calories.

She ignored my advice and went on - “How do you feel?”.

“Uh? Me? I’m just fin-“.

She interrupted me – “Come on! Dara-eonni! Bom-eonni told me about you and Jiwon sunbae-nim!”. Her tone seemed pretty serious.

Moving to L.A. made it harder for Chaerin to get a hold of the news regarding entertainment in Korea. That was probably why she heard about it from someone else and got upset.

I really didn’t want to talk about that matter. I already wanted to bury myself under 6 feet of dirt and I did not want her to feel second-hand embarrassment because of my actions.

“Ah~ Chaerin-ah... I didn’t know what to do so I just went along with it... huhu~ Is it that bad?”. I asked, full of anticipation.

“It’s ok eonni, really. He’ll think of it as a joke and you’ll both laugh about it when you two will meet again”.

I really hoped that was the case; we acknowledged each other but didn’t have any opportunity to develop our friendship.

“Huhu Chaerin-ah~ Are people going to think I’m a crazy lady that keeps a Jiwon-oppa shrine in front of her bed? I read so many malicious comments…Will he avoid me after this?”.

“I knew this would bother you, that’s why I called - Dara-eonni, you should’ve told me sooner, you know I’m here for you”.

She was right. I was bothered, but I hated asking for help. Opening up became so much harder since we all moved out from the dorm we shared. If we had secrets to reveal, we would invade Bom-eonni’s room to gossip between ourselves. We used to sit on the floor to whisper about crushes and things we witnessed during music shows.

Everything I did made me reminisce the time I spent with 2NE1; I forever cherished the warmth that came being so close with the members.

“Ah~ Chaerin-ah~ Thanks for calling me”.

I sipped the green tea that was waiting for me on the wooden coffee table, my brows furrowed as my lips touched the cold beverage.

“Even the tea became cold… huhu~”.

I slumped back on the couch. All I wanted to do was to avoid him, as if he was pestilence himself, I didn’t want for things to get weird - I wasn’t ready to enter YG’s building only to have Teddy-oppa or Jiyong make fun of me in front of him.

~ ting ~

I remembered the real reason I actually searched for my phone in the first place; I had to check the notifications.

“Dara-ssi, I’ll fetch you tomorrow at 10 o’clock to escort you to the agency”. It was manager-nim who wrote a couple of messages to remind me of my schedule for the week.

I felt dumbfounded as I remembered Suwon-oppa telling me that Sechskies were starting to record tracks for their future comeback that day. There was no way I could avoid him when we worked in the same workplace.

I drowned my face in the pillow sitting on my couch and heaved a long sigh –

i am doomed.

next chapter. ⋆ masterlist.

#darawon #eunjiwon #eun jiwon #2ne1 #sechskies #yg #radiostar #hunmaenjungeum #fanfic #fan fiction #dara #sandara park #cl #chaerin #park bom #산다라박

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dafukdidiwatch · 4 years

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As Above So Below

This somehow both scared and bored me at the same time

Overview

: After years of searching, Treasure Hunter Scarlet finds a clue that would lead her to the fabled Philosopher's Stone somewhere in Paris. She gathers together a crew to find the stone in the catacombs of Paris, but there are other things that lurk down below.

I would consider myself a big time movie/tv person. Have I seen everything? No. Do I like watching anything? Yeah, I'll give it a chance. I like most genres.

Horror though, I have mixed feelings.

Now, I'm gonna be honest, it was hard trying to go into this movie open minded. I have a love/hate relationship with the Horror genre of movies. Older classics like John Carpenter's Thing, Alien, even Scream are movies I adore. But...modern horror movies are a pain to me. I hate how they use shortcuts to try and scare me with random ass Jump-scare for no purpose other than to scare me. It's ridiculous! I can call out when the jump-scares happen, and they Still scare me because of the freaking sound track!

Anyway. I felt it would be unfair for me to say how much I like/dislike the movie without mentioning my preferences. If you like the newer horror movies, awesome, you do you, but for me, its like one of those gatchapon machines where theres a 50/50,chance you'll like it or not.

With that out of the way, lets Actually start talking about the movie.

The movie is shot in Found Footage style and that already added a tally against it in the 1st minute. I am not a fan of found footage. I know that it's popular to make it cheap and personal, but it makes it so hard to follow what is going on. When they are being chased or attacked, I don't know whats happening! Its too dark to tell, the camera is jostling around making me slightly nauseous, and if it does show something, its only for like 5 seconds unless it is stupidly close! There were parts that felt more like watching a Let's Play of a 1st person horror game. Run Run Run, Punch Monster, Run.

It is due to this 1st Person view that, not gonna lie, I barely followed how they got into the catacombs in the first place. Scarlett was in Iran...then she went to France, then...a church to pick up a reverse vandalizer, club, tunnel, catacombs. I can remember the place order, but like hell can I remember what exactly they were saying. All of that took 30 minutes and I was bored out of my mind. And the things that I do remember, they just sort of randomly popped up? Like, they were discussing on whether to jump into the hole

There are parts of the movie that I think was their attempts to build atmosphere, but sort of came out of left field. They say a pale woman walk away from a club: ok. They see her...directing the creepy ass ghost choir?? No idea what that was about. Then They ran into statues that just....came to life to bite at them??? This,was Never Mentioned as potential threats anywhere, it was as if the movie decided it needs random encounters to fill the climax, which is a shame because the tension in this in the middle was really good.

In the middle, when they are Finally going underground to when things got fucked, had a good tense build up. Showing landmarkers that shouldn't be on their route later on. Local lore of "don’t go down the cursed tunnel" (PSA: If the locals say don't do something, don't do it). They get trapped trying to crawl through a pile of bones. Now that part wasn't scary, but was Very Uncomfortable, especially if you have claustrophobia. They have just...random ass things appear like a Piano and Phone which, these people are dumbasses for thinking those things are natural to be there, but does add a good "what the hell" moment that just pikes on. I thought they might go the whole "vague supernatural tunnel turning tricks and getting them to turn on each other" route instead of "slowing pick one off one by one" type. And maybe that’s what they were trying to have, but it was still random monsters popping out to attack so... c'est la vie.

Another thing I take issue with is part of the lore they use for the Philosophers stone. First, they use the legends and work of alchemists. And that’s pretty cool. Like mystical National Treasure, unlock secret symbols and solve chemical problems. There was a part where they had to figure out the number of celestial planets in the sky based on what century the stone came from since it kept changing over the years, that part was pretty clever. I didn’t know the information, but i appreciated the history.

But they just add random bits from around the world to be like "ooh they connected" like, ok. They have alchemist lore, 14th century Flamel. Makes sense. Then they add a mummy of a crusades guy. I don't know which crusades, but it doesn't matter since he was used more as a prop than plot device. Hell it might be Flamel himself, I don’t know. Then they throw...Ancient Egypt....Sure. Why not. Alchemists could go to Egypt to learn then stick hieroglyphics and traps in the french catacombs. Given how I don't know anything about alchemists history, I'll go with it.

What I WONT accept is them calling Dante's Inferno Mythology! That is Bullshit! I call BullShit! That! Is where I DRAW THE LINE!!

Because they carved "abandon all hope he who enter here" into the tunnel wall when things turned batshit and thats where i gave up on the lore.

Dante's Divine Comedy is not a myth! It is a poem! A poem written by Dante about Christain ideology of what heaven and hell is like! But the movie doesn't give a shit. The line just sounds cool to have as they go deeper into the tunnels!

If they just went with Dante references and alchemist lore, I would have been fine there. The main reason I got angry at that part with Scarrlet saying about "Dantes myth" is that she knows like 5 languages + 2 dead ones, all this backstory and alchemist stuff, and she doesn't know that inferno was a poem? Yes, part of that is semantics and technicalities, but it sort of pulled me out of the world a bit. Because at that point, it felt like they were picking and choosing lore to fit in because it sounded cool. Have an egyptian trap! Why? Because it was cool! Have hieroglyphic puzzle to find the stone? Sure, don’t know why it’s in France but whatever! I dont know. It threw me off because it felt like they were adding too much, which is a shame because some of the Dante references like traveling through a pool of blood was really good.

I don't get the visions. I really don't. Like...random pianos and telephones just appear on level one of their journey, that calls out to their memory. Which is...bizzare. Especially since they actually touch the freaking things. Like, don't touch the childhood piano! It will make things worse! Seriously! White people!

You later learn that the visions come from their sins (like the one and only tormented sin they got) and it is only when I googled the end of the movie did I learn that they have to acknowledge their sins or die. Which if you have to google the movie to understand the message, the message didn't go through. And opens up to more questions.

Because there were other people that died that didn't get to see their sin visions. George and Scarlett got taunted with pianos and objects since the 1st floor. What about Benji? He was followed by the creepy ghost choir and fell down a hole. Tell me what sin that means. Do They....all have sins, or did the vague demons here have to kill off the innocent ones first before putting the focus on the true targets?

And Scarlett finding out that the power was in her all along? What? Did she...consume the power? Was it transferred? Did she have it since she was born? Does she still have it? It felt like a bad moment to throw in a self esteem psa in this movie.

I will give the movie credit though, i liked how they were forced to go down to get out. When everything turns to shit and they have to do the same things they did but in reverse order, but still forced to go down, that was good. It adds to the tension of "holy fuck how are they gonna get out is this even the right path?" And that last scene with the manhole, gorgeous. Really truly gorgeous. It just shakes you to the core with what you are seeing.

But Overall.....yeah did not like this movie. Wasn't a fan of shakey cam. Wasn’t a fan of the "gotcha" jump scares. The movie felt a little more uncomfortable than scary to me with the claustrophobia. There were a bunch of times where I had to check how long was left in the movie because I was really bored with what was happening. I did like the use of alchemist lore, the Egyptian trap scene, and the end scene, but just wished they stuck to one part than try to mash up different myths to fit.

And if they wanted to stick with Dante, fine. Apparently this entire movie was an allegory of Dantes inferno. (Thanks google) But while i can appreciate looking back on it in hindsight, it doesn't change the fact that I really didn't "get" the symbolic nature of what they were trying to do in the initial watch. Maybe if I rewatch it I would appreciate it more, but I would just skip like half the movie to the actual cave exploring part because I am not sitting through the full thing again.

If you like horror movies with historic flair, this might be for you. But its not my cup of gatorade.

#dafuking films #as above so below #as above so below movie #week 6 movie #dafukblog

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95liners3rdmember · 4 years

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Worth It

Chapter Three: Monday Morning

Word Count: 4052

Chapter Two: Saying Thank You

Today’s been a day already and I haven’t even made it into work yet…

I woke up to my grandmother calling bright and early at 5 am. My heart and soul needed to talk to her as she calmed me of my nerves about today. She reassured me that all of my hard work wasn’t going to go to waste. I may have shed a few tears after ending our call but I was wide awake and energized.

Then as I was getting ready to leave my apartment, my sisters call me as they left school. Nat and Nikole were dropping hints about how they wanted to come and visit me while they were on break. Which isn’t a bad idea but I’ll have to figure out a good time so they aren’t just sitting around my apartment. But there’s no way I can take a week off just a month after starting. It will most likely be during the holidays so I can spend a little time with them.

But I think the thing that threw me off the most was Namjoon waiting for me in the lobby with a hot coffee in hand. He had a cocky smile on his lips as he took in my wardrobe choice. Thankfully yesterday I went by the company to drop off a bag full of spare clothes because there’s no way I can dance in my current outfit. As he handed me my cup, the other’s pass us sluggishly to the waiting vans.

“Can I ride in with you?” Namjoon gave me his signature smile and the next thing I know we are in my car sitting in morning traffic.

My fingers tap anxiously against the steering wheel, I really can’t be late on my first day. Namjoon chuckles before turning down the radio.

“Calm down, you have almost 45 minutes before you’re supposed to be in the office. Worst case just call in and tell them that we’re stuck in traffic.”

He’s surprisingly calm and I feel somewhat better but I just want to get into the office already. Yesterday I was supposed to relax and take an off day but I was too full of energy and I was already given approval to come in, so I went and organized my office. I also went through a few run throughs of each song that way I wasn’t rusty before teaching the group. The last thing I wanted was to look unprofessional in front of them.

“Looks like the traffic is letting up here, after that we should have no problem getting there.”

Namjoon scrolls through the map on his phone and my body relaxes in the seat as we pass by the backed up exit. Just as he said, the road clears out and we’re at the company sooner than I thought. Smiling at him, I pull in and park. My stomach feels like it’s doing back flips and spins as I look at the large building. This is it. It’s finally my first official day as a BigHit employee.

“I guess I’ll see you in an hour. Hoseok has the disk with the detailed moves on it.”

“See you then! Have fun.”

We both exited the car, my bag tucked tightly under my arm as I read through a last minute email and sip my coffee. Looks like the schedule changed just a little, scanning our badges we enter the lobby and both go our separate ways.

My heart starts to pound in my chest as I stand in front of the large frosted glass door. Taking in a deep breath, I pull the handle back and I’m greeted by a room full of staff. Bowing politely I take a seat in the vacant chair. There’s a large packet in front of everyone and I can’t help but quirk an eyebrow as I sit and read through it.

It’s going to take me a little longer to get through this, yes I’ve been studying for years but I’m still slow on reading Korean. Reaching into my beg I pull out a small notebook and a pen so I can start making notes.

“Good morning everyone. Today we will be going over the details of the next tour and upcoming award shows. Also, I want everyone to welcome Ms. y/l/n. She will be taking over the dance and choreography department.”

There’s a small, quick round of applause which makes my heart flutter.

“Thank you everyone. I can’t wait to get started!”

As each of the directors goes over their roles and the upcoming events my head starts to spin. There’s so much I need to get done in such a short amount of time. The tour is starting after the new year and the award shows want the group to perform and I need to make a few new opening moves for each. It shouldn’t be too hard but it’s going to require a few all nighters.

Under the table I feel my phone vibrate in my bag, it’s not too loud since all of the stylists are talking about who to partner with and what the concept will be for the tour. I look around and notice that everyone else has their phones on the table so I guess it will be okay for me to have mine. Bending down I fish out my phone and see that it’s the group chat Taehyung added me to.

J-Hope: Jungkookie and V are getting impatient for you to get here.

Kookie: Hurry up Noona! I wanna dance.

Locking my phone, I smile and look back up at the presentation board where tour locations and stage options are being shown. From what it looks like the next tour is going to be amazing.

“Ms. y/l/n would you mind sharing what you’ve made so far?” Nodding, I make my way up to the front with a copy of the disk I made. Passing it over, I feel my palms start to get sweating and my throat feels tight.

“These are the main songs that will be performed and recorded for music videos. I didn’t get to make these with the members so there will have to be some changes made. Also, I’m going to let them decide the style for their solos.”

Around the room other staff nod as their eyes are glued to the screen. Nervously I fiddle with the ring on my finger as the videos come to an end. I let them keep the copy since I have the original saved on my laptop and another copy.

I’ve never been one for giving presentations or public speaking. Dancing has always been my way of expression. So as of right now I want to crawl into a hole and disappear. I can’t gauge everyone’s reactions as the videos end. They probably wish that the old choreographer was still here.

As the videos end I’m waiting for the room to stay completely silent.

But once again I’m proven wrong.

The stylists are all smiling and whispering energetically about how this is going to be one of the best sets ever. Or how well I’ve incorporated their style.

Smiling I walk back to my seat with a little more pep in my step. Today just might turn out to be a better day than I thought.

For the millionth time,it feels like, I tighten the band of my ponytail that sticks through the ball cap. I silently scold myself as I suck in a deep breath as a sigh over takes my body, I shouldn’t have stayed so late at the studio last night touching up the dances. During the meeting I didn’t feel too stiff or sore but now that I rushed to change and get to the practice room on time I feel each and every muscle tense up.

Walking through the doorway of the large practice room I see the boys all goofing around with their previous dances. All laughing and having a good time relaxing. It makes me want to go slightly easier on them but I know that’s not why I was hired. Sucking in another deep breath I clear my throat to make my presence known.

“You guys ready?” I ask loudly as I make my over to them. As I scan over them I feel slightly underdressed and overdressed at the same time. They each have their own style even in the practice room.

“We watched it over a few times and followed along for the most part.” Nodding at Hoseok’s statement, I can see that Jin and Namjoon are a little apprehensive about it. I knew that it would be harder for them, that’s why I’m going to spend more time with them individually throughout the week. I have no doubt that Hoseok will help me as well.

“I’m going to line you up and then go through the first few moves. Sound good?”

Time seems to go by quicker than I thought and before I know it their managers and other staff are carrying in bags full of food for lunch. Some of the boys have dropped onto the ground and are working on catching their breathing. I can’t say I didn’t work them hard, we were able to make it through one full run through before calling it a day. Sure it wasn’t perfect by any means, that’s going to take some time, but at least they are memorizing the choreo.

“Food…” Jin groans out as he makes his way over to the table and throws himself into the rolling chair. It spins slightly which causes him to bump and shake the whole table. Some of the staff check to see if he hurt himself while Jungkook tries not to laugh at his accident.

“You all did great today. I have no doubt that you’ll have this one down quick.” I huff out between breaths. My legs are killing me from doing so many one on one run throughs of parts. I forgot how sore I was after making these routines, I may just have to soak in an ice bath later.

I get a few smiles and a few nods in agreement as they move over to join Jin at the table, but there’s one person missing. Jimin rewinds the video and rewatches from the beginning. He stands in place and tries to go along step by step. I can see a glint in his eyes that I know all too well...snatching my hat off I move over to him with a slight frown.

“Jimin, you need to eat. We can worry about polishing the moves up the rest of the week.” His eyes cut over to me and I can see the annoyance. He doesn’t want me to interrupt his personal time, honestly I’m the same exact way when there’s a new choreo to make or a new routine to learn. But right now he needs to take care of himself.

“I’m fine.” There’s a slight edge to his voice and I don’t want to push him too far. Sighing, I turn my head towards the others who are trying to watch secretly but failing terribly. Namjoon just nods his head in a way that tells me it’s not worth arguing about.

“If you want to work on it tonight we can but right now you really do need to sit down and take a break. You’ll run yourself down if you keep this up everyday.”

That strike a nerve as his body stops moving completely. Whatever determined glint that was in his eyes is completely gone as he turns towards me. I would never take Jimin as the intimidating type, but I can’t help gulping under his gaze.

“I know my body better than you do y/n. I’ve been dancing just as long as you have. And I can learn it on my own.” His tone is completely different than anything I’ve heard so far. And the way he makes it seems like he could learn it faster without me strike my own nerve. He moves past me and mutters something inaudible which makes my annoyance rise. Turning on my heels swiftly I shove my ball cap back on my head and head towards the door, snatching up my bag that’s sitting by the threshold. Not caring that it slams shut behind me.

I retreat to my office and shut the door, softer than the practice room so I don’t draw any more attention to me. Tossing my bag on one of the small chairs, I round the side of my desk and sit down to look through the emails. But for the first time since I arrived in Korea, there's no emails waiting for me. So there’s nothing else for me to do except to look through the packet from this morning about the upcoming tour. I guess I can start there.

But my mind can’t think of anything except for what just happened in the practice room. I thought Jimin and I were getting along well enough but I guess I was wrong. My sister was right about getting close with them. I should’ve rejected all of the offers from everyone except Namjoon since I’ve known him for so long and I already have an established friendship with him. Once again my little sister proved that she’s wiser than I am.

Ugh, I can’t just sit here and mope around I’ve got work to do.

Jumping up, I grab my bag and make my way to an empty practice room. The only way I’m going to clear my mind is if I dance for a little bit and listen to the song over a few times to get some inspiration.

Thankfully I end up at the practice room furthest away from where the members are. Setting up my camera on the tripod and getting a playlist, my phone beeps with a text message alert.

Namjoon: Where did you go?

Ignoring the text, my cap gets tossed to the side and I retie my hair up into a large messy bun. Sucking in a deep breath I close my eyes and roll my head to relax my shoulders, trying to relieve the tightness building in my neck. Slowly opening my eyes I bend down to tighten my shoe laces and once I pop back up I press play on my phone.

The first couple of songs are just warm ups, things I’ve done before. In reality they are a warm up for what’s about to happen. My body moves with each beat as I let everything escape my mind except the music and the choreo. It’s nice to get back to the basics, to reset my mind. If I want to do my best for BigHit and BTS then I need to mentally check out for a few minutes and recollect myself.

When Fire starts playing, my lips quirk up as the beat quickens. My breathing gets heavier as the song goes on, my muscles burn and sweat drips down my forehead. But it ignites a spur of energy I didn’t think I had. Smirking once the song is done, I peel off the sweatshirt I was wearing and go down to just my sports bra and leggings. Normally I try to keep some decency when I’m at work, even when it’s unbearably hot, but since I won’t see anyone else the rest of the day I’m in the clear.

Once the first beat of Fake Love starts playing, I take Taehyung’s place. I’m going to run through this song seven times. Each time I will be taking the different spot of a member. It may be overkill but at this point I don’t care.

My muscles scream at me but I couldn’t be happier. After running the choreo a few times inspiration struck me. I abandoned the dance floor and fell into the floor with my notebook. Scribbling my ideas down, my lungs gasp for breath while sweat drips onto the paper as I sketch out a box like contraption. It may not be ready in time but I could always have this in my back pocket.

A few more ideas are jotted down but I jump in place when I hear the door rattle. Good thing I locked it but it’s useless when the door has a window down the center of it. Moving quickly I tug on my sweatshirt and turn off the camera. Going to the door I suck in deeps breaths to try and calm my racing heart. There’s no one in the hallway, but I have a strange feeling someone was watching. Moving back into the room I pack everything up and check the time, it’s almost 5. I really didn’t get much done but at this point I just want a shower.

The hallways are quiet as I move sluggishly to the safety of my office. Maybe after I shower I can swing by Namjoon’s studio and check out what he’s been working on. But then there’s a chance I’ll run into Jimin and that’s the last thing I want right now. I should just let it go but it seemed like he doubted me. And that the last thing I need on my first day.

Emerging from the female locker room, I feel lighter and my mind is clearer. At least I brought plenty of backup clothes because knowing me I’m going to be staying overnight or really late for the next few weeks. Rolling up the sleeves on my light blue button up I walk back to my office just to drop everything off. Before going to the shower I texted Namjoon and asked me if I could come by his studio, luckily he instantly replied giving me the green light.

Since it’s so late in the day most of the other staff have left the building for the day like normal people. Us workaholics will be here until we physically can’t take anymore. Namjoon is bad about it but he’s told me horror stories about Yoongi staying here for days on end without leaving. The most I’ve ever stayed is about two days before I was dragged back home by Nat.

Knocking on the door of his studio, I wait out in the hall and tap the toe of my shoe on the tile. My stomach feels uneasy, probably since I haven’t had any real food to eat, but also because I’m nervous to run into Jimin.

A loud click snaps me from my thoughts as the door opens just enough so I can grab the handle and let myself in. Namjoon’s hunched up at his desk editing away, the monitor above him showing me every small movement and adjustment he does. Watching him in his element is fascinating.

“You sure left in a hurry after practice.”

“Well hello to you to too Namjoon.” Rolling my eyes I drop down into the vacant chair next to him. My forehead falls to the desktop and my hair fans out everywhere creating a curtain to hide from him.

“Y/n, you did an amazing job today. I heard from Bang PD that he really like what you’ve created and can’t wait to see it in person.” That statement makes my stomach twist in knots and flip a dozen times. I haven’t even had the chance to meet him in person yet, everything has been through computer or through an assistant.

“But Jimin...he’s hard on himself and very critical of everything. I warned you about it before you took the job.” Namjoon’s tone isn’t harsh, actually it’s softer than I’d imagine. A deep sigh leaves my lips as I turn my head sideways and remove the curtain of hair to look at him. There’s no use trying to hide my feelings about it considering we’ve known each other for so long.

“I know I took it too personally, but I can’t help it. I spent so much time on all of these dances Joon...I guess...I feel like he doesn’t trust me or have faith in my abilities.” My eyes sting a little as I let out my pent up frustration. Mentally I’m smacking myself for being so emotional. The last time Namjoon saw me like this it wasn’t good...

“BigHit wouldn’t waste their time or resources for anyone that’s not up to their standard. Jimin knows this as well as the rest of us. You just have to let him come to terms and build a relationship with you on his own.” Namjoon stopped moving the mouse and turned his attention away from the screen to look at me. His eyes are soft as he pats my back gently.

“We had a talk with him though. Jimin’s tone was too harsh and we let him know that. After you wouldn’t answer my text we all went looking for you.”

Crap. So they did see me practice.

“How many times did you end up running through it?” There’s a guilt in his voice that I’ve never heard before, a tone that makes my heart tighten and feel heavy.

“Four or five before I stopped to write down some ideas. How much did you all see?” That’s a loaded question but it needs to be answered. Because if they saw me when I was topless then I need to make sure to wear lighter shirts from now on.

“Most of us stayed up until the second time around. Although Hobi and Jimin stayed until you finished.” Namjoon scratches his neck nervously before continuing to work on the song in front of him.

“Fantastic, looks like I can die of embarrassment now. Let my family know I love them.” Being dramatic I gently tap my forehead against the desk top before letting out a groan of defeat.

“Drama queen. It’s not bad though. I think it showed Jimin that you take everything you do seriously and that you aren’t playing around.”

Neither one of us talks for a few minutes, the only sound in the room is the clicking of his mouse and blips of music. My eyes feel heavy as my muscles start to relax after being abused for so long. Then my stomach growls and the room goes completely silent. Crap.

“I’m guessing you didn’t eat since you left practice. Go home and rest. Since you were hidden all day I’m going to assume you didn’t see the schedule for tomorrow.” Looking at him I wait for him to continue filling me in on everything I missed.

“We have a photoshoot tomorrow so you have a free day to work on ideas and concepts.”

My body reacts by sitting straight up and looking at Namjoon with wide eyes. A wide smile breaks out across my lips. So I can spend an entire day uninterrupted working. Perfect. Might as well get an early start.

“I’ll leave you be Namjoon. See you Wednesday I guess, be ready to dance your feet off.” Giggling I wave goodbye and run out of his studio with my new burst of energy. There’s a spring in my step as I pass by Yoongi and Hoseok’s studios. Both booming with music, but in Hoseok’s I can hear multiple voices talking. They probably are meeting up to talk over the tracks.

Going straight to the breakroom I start to make myself some coffee and pull out my phone to try and order take out. Once I get some food in my system I’ll be set and ready to go. Placing my order and paying, I leave instructions that I will meet them outside once they arrive.

“Thanks for making more. I’m going to need it.” I jumped at the sudden voice and turn to see Yoongi walking in the room with an empty cup. Shuffling to the side with my cup, I get ready to leave the room but his voice stops me again.

“Don’t stay too late y/n. You worked hard today.”

“No promises Yoongi. Have a good night.” I bow slightly as I go to exit the room but before I get out of earshot I hear him mumble something that made me smirk.

“You are just like us.”

#BTS jimin #park jimin #jimin x reader #bts smut #bts fanfic #park jimin fanfic

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dancing-with-the-madmen · 2 years

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The Massive Aggression of Calico Jack, redux

So what is it about OFMD Calico Jack that makes him so acutely punchable?

And then accepts Stede’s introductory handshake with clear derision.

He insinuates Stede is less of a pirate for being “store bought”

He refuses to get Stede’s name right, even when corrected. Twice.

And is just SO insincere when calling him back.

And, just, the whole pissing contest scene.

So let’s look at the specifics.

At brekkie, he pours rum into Ed’s teacup without asking or being asked while Ed’s attention is diverted by getting food.

Which is exactly the time Jack decides to up the ante.

I know, I know. It was an accident! He was flailing drunkenly! But was he?

Too bad Jack didn’t know that the punishment for passive-aggressive fuckery on this show is death…

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #calico jack

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antihero-writings · 5 years

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If These Walls Could Talk Chapter 1: “Lisa”—Castlevania (Netflix) Fic (Full chapter!!)

Fic Title: If These Walls Could Talk

Synopsis: Vampires do not have reflections, and castles do not have hearts. But Dracula is no ordinary vampire, and Castlevania is no ordinary castle. If castles can fight, maybe they can think too.

The series, and Adrian’s childhood, told from the perspective of the castle.

Notes: I was writing a different Castlevania fic when I started describing things as if from the castle’s perspective...and I thought that was a very interesting idea, so this happened. The idea was also inspired by Sypha’s “it’s fighting me!" I thought that was really interesting because she was speaking almost as if the castle were a living thing. And, well, I love personifying things.

Also, ever since reading @izabellwit's a loyal heart fic I’ve wanted to try writing something from a non-human perspective. And boy was it worth it. This has got to be one of my favorite fics I’ve written, honestly!

Plus I really wanted to write about Alucard's childhood, and I thought this was a great way to do so somewhat comprehensively, but also concisely. I thought it was just an interesting idea, and that Sypha’s was kind of an offhand comment, but when I rewatched a few scenes for research, I realized…I think this idea is actually supposed to exist within the canon. There are subtler references to the castle having an alive-ness, Sypha’s is just the easiest to catch. I’m curious if anyone agrees, especially after reading.

I have a very limited knowledge of the games, but I'm trying to learn more about them, and really like working in little references to them here and there!

I was originally planning on posting this as one long thing (and I may still do so after I finish), because the sections are very much connected and meant to flow into each other, and I think it’ll be easy to miss things if they’re separate. But I realized it would be easier, both for me to post, and for people to read, in bite size-pieces. Plus it has very clear-cut sections that are easy to split into chapters. So here you go!!

Chapter 1 (of 8), She Came at Sunset:

“Is this how the castle felt to you before my mother first arrived at your door?”

The castle doesn’t like children.

Well, maybe that’s too strong to say. It simply isn’t the place for them. Its existence is a signpost: leave me alone. It is not used to having company—much less a family—inside it, nor is it ready to welcome for a crying, puking, giggling thing into the world. It does not intend to be a cozy place to coddle him into adulthood.

The castle itself pierces the sky, its turrets and towers the dripping stain of the sun’s blood across the moon.

The bare walls hold no colorful tapestries for a child to enjoy, no paintings of its many inhabitants to tell of—for there was only ever one (and maybe that ought not change. It is safe to say the castle doesn’t like change). The royal red and gold carpets are more suited to kings; not designed for spit-up, mud, and scuffing. ‘Don’t play with that’ would be a motto around here; so many contraptions either easy to break, or which could break the child. The fireplaces, while almost always lit, only ever coughed warmth onto the floor before them—no snug space to curl up in, on a winter’s day. Even the mirrors here are empty, holding nothing but a reflection of the bare walls they sit upon.

There are certain people who were seemingly born as they are; they never owned toys, never crawled on the floor, never walked with clumsy steps—their footfalls were always this calculated count—never burped on their mother’s nice shirts, and surely never had anything so dull as a childhood. They were always just…here, on the world. There was no innocence, and no losing it. So it was with Dracula.

The very thought of Dracula ever owning toys, even in some nice cottage far away from here, with a doting mother and an absent father, with a funny last name like Cronqvist, defied sense to the castle. So no, no toys here, nor any simple charts for learning; the books divulged their secrets to more mature minds. Just blood and books, gold and gears, forgotten magic means, mirrors that reflect nothing, and a pile of prayers to a good God they used to justify their ungood, and ungodly deeds.

All these things—or their absence—do not make for the picture of a baby-proof home.

The castle has grown accustomed to being cold and dark, and listening to one master alone. It’s not a quaint place lovers look on and think we’ll raise our kids here someday.

Its master isn’t the ideal father either—after all, the castle only reflected its king. Its master knows only of blood and nails, fangs and wails, words too big for a child’s mouth, and worlds too dark for a child’s heart.

Can he be soft? Can he be gentle? Can he keep those claws, which have ripped out better men’s hearts, from piercing a child’s—his child’s…how could one who killed so many have a child?—skin? He knows many spells, but is there one that can turn those screams into laughter?

He has been soft before. Once. And that is with this woman.

Many women have walked the castle’s halls: shivering, shrieking damsels at his feet; cold and calculating queens; fragile bodies on the floor, that he broke with the same regard a child does a vase that matters to someone else.

Those ordinary people who do come often have pitchforks in their mouths, and fiery words in their closed fists. Curses stacked on the end of stakes, banging like the castle is the church bell signifying their own funerals.

It is for this reason that the castle does not like outsiders, does not open its doors easily. But it cannot deny anyone entry. Unlike the humans’ doors, which find his master guilty until proven innocent.

They always came at night. At night, when the loudest sound is your own breathing. At night, when their fires echoed loudest, and their shouts burned brightest.

They came when the flowers were closed, when only the most eerie and vicious of animals played with the skins of their prey, and the moon waxed the world in cold, drunk shine. The sun could not watch them, could not show their blood-struck hands in their full glory.

She came at sunset. When the sun still glazed her deeds in sanguine auburn, but was just deciding to turn its gaze and let the kids have their fun. Not quite day, when the sun would kill things like Dracula, but not quite night, when the hours are named after witches, and lust is strongest—be it for the body, or the blood within it. Somewhere in between death and life, violence and peace.

This woman came with a knife in her hand, yes. But a knife, at least, was not a sword. It was not a pitchfork, a spear, a whip, or a stake; all weapons that signify, if the fight wasn’t there, you were bringing it with you. Not a war-starved weapon, pointing with mal-in—and -con—tent towards the castle doors and all the things inside it. Not a thirsty thing. Something that by default faced the other direction. Something that can start a fight if it wants to, but doesn’t crave it.

The golden woman came at sunset, with a knife in her hand, and looked upon this thing, this castle that others called ‘ugly’, and ‘monstrous,’ and ‘grotesque,’ looked upon it with awe, and gasped in wonder.

She knocked. She didn’t bang her fists upon the stone, didn’t ram pitchforks and assorted insults against the innocent doors, like how-dare-they protect their master.

She knocked, and the doors opened before she could raise her fist a second time. Maybe, just this once, not because they didn’t have any other choice.

The doors—foreboding, menacing, and all the other spooky -ings one can think of—opened to a world strewn in light; the demon’s castle looked brighter, more beautiful, more alive, than half the churches she’d been to.

Her footsteps were gentle against the castle’s floors. Not a slow, forced gentleness, but also not a piercing, purposeful march. There was no apprehension to her footsteps; her feet carried her as if anxious to take her to as many rooms as they could.

At first her steps were the only sound, enough to fool some into thinking they’re alone.

And it became clear both that she was not alone, and not a fool.

But when she saw the demon, she put the knife away, and used her words.

She used her words to repeat those she herself had heard; stories, but not the kind that make monstrous men run at the doors with naughts and crosses; the kind pious people buried along with all evidence that the world wasn’t made of black and white.

Not all the stories told that this place was cold and dark and full of death. Not all the stories make humans want to run at the doors with garlic and arrows, or else stay far away.

Amongst all the stories about death, there were others; stories that said Vlad Tepes brought this castle to life with science, forbidden knowledge, and a little bit of lightning. Stories that say there is life here.

And, in exchange for proof that these life-stories true, Dracula asked for a trade, a trade that would prove the other stories true too. He gave up the killing a while ago—(the castle has been in one place a very long time)—but he was still not used to giving for free, and definitely not used to getting for free. Vampires trade in blood and names, not diamonds and declarations. Vampires trade in things they can swallow. This castle, too, had been a gaping hole set to swallow the world and everything that entered. Never once had it given.

And she dared to say, that this place, its master, should learn to give, when the humans have done nothing but take from them—or try their best to. He ought to be the one to invite her in, to ask what she would like, to dispense pleasant words and kind actions, when the humans forgot they invented hospitality, and showed no invitation for him to even enter their homes. But she didn’t come with a mouth full of garlic, and hands full of superstition. Her feet did not drill holes in the floor with their sharp toll, they wandered the scenic route.

She was used to being cheated. Dracula and his castle were too. But that was not why she was there. She was not there for cheap tricks, or death. She wanted something real. A little bit of the life the castle has to offer.

Her defiance wasn’t that of a terrified citizen, or angry queen, either; rather the calm resolve of someone who is asking for something they know in their heart is good, and knows they will get it. The kind of person who believes there is good in everyone, and that this good will ultimately always win, and who won’t leave until they convince this good to show its face.

The castle has watched countless men and women cower at foot of count Dracula. Some, do have a measure of god-sanctioned defiance; they come with whips and scourges to defeat him. The castle and the king are bound together in their resolve against them.

Except one. Except this woman, with her mouth full of healing salve and her hands full of curiosity. One human whom both master and castle found themselves reluctant to deny, cast away, or kill, maybe even…taken with.

She may be human, but she was not like the rest; she did not light the night on fire with her thirst for blood.

So maybe, just maybe, they could let one ray of sunlight slip through the cracks.

She was also not devoid of life, and maybe that was the key.

‘Devoid of life’ was an accurate portrayal of the castle. Bats flying out of blackness is a good description of a cave, and caves don’t usually come with the brochure ‘teeming with life’, or ‘great place to take your kids!’. The castle had a soul-sucking quality to it; those who entered often found themselves leaving less alive than they arrived. It took after its vampire master. Those who didn’t actually lose their lives within its walls, often remarked upon leaving that the flowers bloomed brighter, the birds sang louder, the grass was greener, and that they missed the sunlight.

Sunlight. Such a base thing; vampires don’t need the light or warmth to be happy.

Sunlight. Such a base way to die; wanting to get out of the cold and the dark.

“Is this how the castle felt to you before my mother first arrived at your door?”

Castlevania was alive once. Once Dracula set the pumps, and its heart began to beat. He turned the gears, and its lungs inhaled. He forged the lightning, and it began to think. Once the books, full of unknown knowledge, jumped off the shelves to get the vampire king’s attention. He filled the bottles and beakers, and they bubbled, as if laughing at a joke only they shared.

They were both alive, once.

That waned, with time; the gears got arthritis, the books caught pneumonia, the experiments atrophied. The castle ached before she came.

And Dracula, alone in the halls, picking up books and putting them down again without so much as a polite glance through them, because he read them all before. Dracula looking into fractured mirrors that could take him anywhere, but deciding there wasn’t anywhere he wanted to go. Dracula, looking into old mirrors that don’t reflect him—like there was never anything to reflect, nothing alive here to begin with, and there isn’t a master for this castle after all. Nothing but a grave. Dracula sitting alone in his study, staring into the fire. No one to talk to. No sound but flipping pages and crackling fires—nothing alive. Alive but dead. This castle. Its master. Undead is the proper term.

The other women who came through here reflected the castle, or else the castle took the life out of them the moment they entered. Queens with malice-stained past, and cracked, icy future in their eyes. Just as cold as the walls. Subjects, humans throwing gruesome insults, silky flattery, or fluttering pleas at his feet. Just as empty as the mirrors.

Only one refused the castle’s bite. Only one walked in looking for life, rather than death. Looking for a thing no one thought existed here. Already presumed dead. Put six feet beneath the ground. But maybe it was here all along; maybe the light hid in the castle’s corners while the dark came out to play, and she just had to coax it out of its hiding places. Maybe the bell was ringing all this time, she was the only one who came close enough to hear it; the only one who came to put flowers on the grave.

Maybe when she felt the machinery pumping she knew the rhythm was a heartbeat. Maybe when she heard the gears clanking she knew it was the sound of inhaling and exhaling. Maybe when she saw the lightning, she wondered what it was thinking. Maybe she looked at these books, these instruments, and saw what the vampire king saw once; something alive. They weren’t dead yet—un- or otherwise. Just sick, and in need of proper treatment. She was a doctor after all. Maybe her first subject was the very books she learned from.

Lisa, who looked at this blotch on the sky, with Death in its towers, and darkness splattered on its walls, and thought that’s where I’ll learn to heal people. Lisa, who gaped in amazement at the beast of a building. Lisa, who didn’t shudder upon entering. Lisa, who didn’t scream when its master touched her, but turned to him with calm resolve, and told him she’d teach him to be more human. Lisa, who’s life eclipsed the undeath in this place.

And there was a trade that occurred that day. For Dracula’s immortal knowledge, Lisa would teach him how to live a mortal life. To travel the world as a man, to walks as a man, to eat and drink, laugh and cry, as a man. Immortality for mortality. They gave each other the world, as so many lovers promise to do. Vlad would make her immortal, and Lisa would make him mortal, with no exchange blood.

(Except to create a thing with both their blood running through it.)

So maybe, after all this talk of life, it is fitting that she wants to create life inside this castle.

Fitting, maybe. Fitting for her. But the castle is not mortal yet, and wishes it could protest that it isn’t the right size, refuse to try on the idea.

Dracula is apprehensive as well, for the castle and he are used to each other, they take after each other, because the cold, and the dark, and the death, and the alone does something to you after a while; you start talking to the walls. After the cold queens and quaking colleens leave, or leave their bloodstains the floor. After the beasts and their silver-stained bullets turn back into righteous men in the sun. After he simply outlives everyone else. When all the living things hate, fear, or else betray you, when all the living things can die, and you, who are undead, cannot, it’s the lifeless things that stand firm by your side. When the day ends and the shadows come out to play, when you’re the only one left, in the end you still have the walls. And then…the walls are all you have. And if you talk to them long enough you make a sort of pact, spoken or silent, with those speechless stones: ‘you’re the only one I can trust.’

Dracula speaks to them one day, says he wonders if he can do this, be a father at all, not to mention a good one. The castle cannot reply. But something deep inside the walls wonders if it might be nice to hear Dracula laugh. It might be nice to put on some different clothes. It might be nice be nice for someone new to listen to from time to time. It might be nice to live again.

The castle is concerned. Used to doing things one way, being one way, and only hearing one voice. But that doesn’t mean it is unwilling, that it intends to kill the child.

It never kills anything—Dracula does that. It cannot do anything on its own, and that includes change.

The castle doesn’t like change.

…But that doesn’t mean it won’t.

And if its going to change, its master must change first. They must change together.

Vampires do not have reflections. But Dracula has a castle, and that castle will be damned if it isn’t his mirror.

Reflections are simple to change; put on some makeup, some war paint, a new change of clothes, get a piercing somewhere. Simple, yes, but not easy, to change completely, because that doesn’t mean anything’s changed inside.

The castle did not come equipped for child-rearing; there are no rooms full of toys and cradles and school supplies.

So if this is to be, they must build their son’s world themselves.

Together they set aside a room for the child’s arrival. Just one, single room. And the castle too knows, from the start, this room will be different from all the rest. They will put paintings on the walls, and banners in the halls; things to interest him, to tell him of his parents, at least, even if there are few other relatives to spend Christmas with. The carpets will be darker, instead of the stringent red, and they will make their words smaller, the books easier to understand. The rest of the castle is warm in color, but cool in atmosphere. This room will be cool in color, but warm in atmosphere. The fire will always be set in its place, and they will try their best to make sure the warmth reaches him; if the fire fails, they will knit blankets; if the blankets fail they will make him tea, or warm milk with honey; and when everything else fails they will hold him. If there are tears here, scornful stares will not greet them, instead, kisses and lullabies will be behind door number three. If this room lives, it will be because of something much softer than pounding metal and lighting.

If a child is to live here, they must change that reflection. Everything Dracula’s castle appears to be, this room will be the reverse. Separate. Something… other than the castle.

This room will bottle all the laughter had in this castle. This room will be made of and for living, not the death the rest of the place is steeped in. So much so that this room will not stand for bloodshed.

Lisa brings in supplies from her town; color and cloth, boards and brushes, needle, and thread, and paper; all the things one needs to build a universe.

It is Dracula who takes the paint, who changes the color to something other than the blacks and reds of the rest of the Vampire’s world, cementing on the walls themselves You will not be dark here, my castle. You will be kind to him, Castlevania. The castle doesn’t know its master to work with his hands like a human, but Vlad is not the same within this room either—this room is part of the trade. He doesn’t use magic, or science, as if he is telling himself with every hammer that they are going to change together, the way one does when talking to the mirror.

Lisa sits in a chair and stiches together cloth and fur to make little creatures, toys for the boy to play with. Soft things, not sharp. They are reflections too, littler, simpler ones, of the creatures howling and prowling outside the castle’s walls, or scurrying within them.

But it is the ceiling that is the crowning jewel of the room. Something they paint together—splashing it onto each other’s clothes and noses.

His parents love the stars. They are scholars at soul, and have charted the constellations, walked outside, fingers knit into each other’s, to gaze at them, and they want their child to be able to do the same, even if he’s not outside. At the end of every day they want him to be sung to sleep by the symphony of the night.

For them, maybe, but to the castle, one of the most interesting things about this room, is the mirror. This is strange, as, while there are other mirrors in this house, they are nothing more than a silver decoration; they have no purpose here, unless they float in shards and possibility. This is an ordinary mirror. It does hold something now, however, and that’s Lisa—only giving more credence to the idea that she is the only living thing in this castle. The castle wonders if they think it will reflect the child, as if they are hoping he will take after his mother and the room.

The mirror, and the windows. In the rest of the castle, the windows are always closed, curtained, or too small to let any real light in. But here they are big, and inviting to all the wiles of the day. Dracula protested—fearing he would burn. Lisa insisted—hoping he would shine.

The mirror, the room, are empty now. The windows closed. The books and charts dormant as the rest. It is not dead, but it’s not alive either. Not even undead. Just a question. An almost.

The room lays on Frankenstein’s table; just one lightning strike—(or one child’s laugh)—away from breathing.

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pinelife3 · 4 years

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Sleepless in Seattle

I rewatched Sleepless in Seattle recently on a plane, and now I’ve crawled out of my cave to declare: this movie is not romantic!

Directed by Nora Ephron, Sleepless in Seattle, is regarded as part of the canon of great rom-coms. Ephron and Rob Reiner (who actually appears in Sleepless in Seattle with a great bit about tiramisu) are kind of the big-dogs of rom-coms in that people still talk about the films they made 20+ years ago (some together, some separately):

The Princess Bride

When Harry Met Sally

Sleepless in Seattle

You’ve Got Mail

Rom-coms are tricky to define - for example, is Shakespeare in Love a rom-com? There is romance and comedy, but the lovers are separated at the end. What about Top Gun? There are iconic romantic scenes and the lovers do end up together, but the love is really a conciliatory prize (the real prize is being the best at flying) and the romance is more of a B or C plot in the film, so Top Gun probably doesn’t qualify. People talk about rom-coms as having to posses certain tropes - for example:

A neurotic, highly mannered protagonist (ideally played by Meg Ryan or Hugh Grant)

An argument featuring dramatic irony, where the audience knows more than the characters and sees their misunderstanding unfold

A grand final gesture to win a lover back after a stupid misunderstanding: a last-minute dash to the airport, a last minute dash to a new year’s eve party, a last minute dash to the Empire State Building

But for our purposes, let’s say a rom-com is anything that:

Places the romantic plot at the core of its film AND

Has a happy ending (i.e. the lovers are together at the end) AND

Features genuine attempts at humour along the way.

LOTR features a romance plot, but there’s a lot of other stuff going on (something about a ring?!), therefore it’s not a rom-com. Same deal with Bridesmaids. I would classify Superbad as a kind of rom-com because most actions taken by the protagonists are to secure love (or at least sex) from the girls they like. The English Patient? Romantic and HILARIOUS but the lovers aren’t together in the end.

So does Sleepless in Seattle qualify as a rom-com?

Yes, the whole point of the movie is to get Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks together. This plot dominates the film - but is it romantic? More on this to follow.

Yes, in the world of the film, a happy ending is secured because Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are together

Yes, there are some laughs along the way. Mostly at the expense of poor Bill Pullman who is playing a man with severe allergies. There is also some precocious-child related humour

Back to point one: I contend that the ‘romantic plot’ in Sleepless in Seattle is actually anti-romantic. In fact, there are two romance plot lines (both of which fail to be romantic) because this bitch is engaged to another man throughout the ‘romance’ with Tom Hanks.

Before we get into that though I have another major gripe: at the start of the film, Meg Ryan and her fiancé (Bill Pullman) leave home together to drive to a family Christmas lunch. They leave the same location at the same time and are heading to the same location - no stops along the way. But for some reason they take separate cars. The film provides no reasoning for the separate cars. It is patently odd and really bothers me.

Let’s take a look at the script:

________________________________________________

EXT. BALTIMORE SUN BUILDING - LATE AFTERNOON - CHRISTMAS EVE

As Annie [Meg Ryan] comes out of the newspaper building with WALTER JACKSON [Bill Pullman], a tall, handsome man who wears a hat. They're carrying an armful of Christmas presents. They're walking toward the parking lot.

WALTER

The short one with black hair is your cousin Irene --

ANNIE

-- who's married to --

WALTER

Harold, who ran away with his secretary but came back --

ANNIE

-- because Irene threatened to put the dog to sleep if he didn't --

WALTER

And your brother Tom is a psychology professor and is married to...Betsy --

ANNIE

-- who is the most competitive woman in the world --

They put the presents in the backs of their two cars and pull out together.

EXT. A HOUSE IN BALTIMORE SUBURBS - NIGHT

Christmas lights twinkling as the two cars pull up in front of a comfortable upper middle-class house and park their cars. They get out assembling presents.

________________________________________________

This whole thing with the two cars was scripted - and even in the script it’s unexplained. My suspicion is that this just a device to get her in the car alone later so she can hear Tom Hanks on the radio - and thereby fall in love with him. This is LAZY writing. Why not just write that she had a premonition and saw a wonderful widow in Seattle and knew that they should be together. That would make about as much sense as the separate cars.

People criticise rom-coms for having unrealistic premises. For example: Last Christmas, in which a woman hangs out with the ghost of a man who gave her his heart - via transplant - the previous year. A ridiculous premise made unbearably kitsch because of the connection to the WHAM song. But honestly that makes about as much sense as an engaged couple taking separate cars for no reason.

Allow that gaping goatse of a plot hole to set the scene for the other major problem with this film: our romantic heroine is already engaged. Engaged to a man she finds boring. She remains engaged to this poor guy throughout her infatuation and pursuit of Tom Hanks. She lives with this guy, sleeps with him, plans her wedding with him: all while she is falling in love with Tom Hanks. She remains engaged until the final 10 minutes of the film when she finally dumps him. She keeps telling this poor guy she loves him. It’s evil. Can you imagine what /r/relationships would say about someone who behaved this way? This is an emotional affair.

As much as rom-coms celebrate the pursuit of love and marriage, they also caution against bad or inadequate love: it is not romantic to settle. A classic example of this is Charlotte Lucas in Pride & Prejudice: she marries the ridiculous Mr Collins to secure her future and avoid spinsterhood - but she doesn’t love him and won’t ever love him because she doesn’t respect him. Readers in Austen’s time may have been more sympathetic to Charlotte’s decision since the nature of marriage was quite different back then and spinsterhood was a seriously undesirable outcome, but contemporary audiences commonly interpret Charlotte settling for Mr Collins as a weakness of character. That decision and her life with Mr Collins only serve to reflect further radiance on Elizabeth Bennet: wistful, bitey, beautiful, beloved for centuries. That’s why no one writes fan fiction about Charlotte Lucas.

So, in Sleepless in Seattle, the audience sees that Meg Ryan is settling for the wrong guy. This is communicated to us primarily through the visual gags around Bill Pullman’s allergies: he uses a huge number of tissues, he’s allergic to everything from strawberries to bees, he has a special respirator machine to help him sleep. This guy can’t get the girl! He can’t even breath properly. It’s clearly isn’t meant to work out between them. No, no this won’t do at all.

What is the function of the unsuitable fiancé as a plot device? Why couldn’t this be a romance between two single people? Is it to make her cross-country pursuit seem more whimsical and fun? If it to demonstrate that she can get a guy? I actually think it’s meant to create stakes: it’s so she has something to hold her back from ‘following her heart’. This is a way of adding tension so she’s risking something (normalcy, comfort) by making the last minute dash to the Empire State Building to meet Hanks (who represents the possibility of windswept romance). Never mind that they’ve never actually spoken to each other. He’s a single parent? Um sexy! He’s a widow? Swoon. Seattle is rainy? I’m already wet.

If it’s important to the plot that she is already in a couple when she falls for Hanks, and that she casts aside an unsatisfying relationship for the mere possibility of passionate excitement, then we have had it wrong all along: the grand romantic gesture of Sleepless in Seattle is Meg Ryan dumping her fiancé. Forget the Empire State Building. It’s her telling him that she’s had an emotional affair. It’s her taking off her engagement ring. It’s her blaming him for being boring rather than working on their relationship. It’s her leaving him sat in that restaurant alone so she can go and pursue a stranger.

This movie is not romantic.

#Sleepless in Seattle #nora ephron #rob reiner #tom hanks #meg ryan #bill pullman #pride and prejudice #elizabeth bennet #charlotte lucas

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ninaahelvar · 4 years

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If My Body’s Alive (2/5)

Summary: Bakugou Katsuki is going to be the number one mma fighter in his league, and not even a loss at the hands of fucking Todoroki is going to change that. He just needs the right motivation. Thankfully, he gets Uraraka.

AO3

A/N: A HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO OUR KING!!! i wanted to post this on his actual birthday, but editing and work has me fucking WRECKED! please enjoy!!!

“No need for a bigger ego,” Ochako snapped, smacking the back of Katsuki’s head as she passed. Everyone had been staring back at the screens in the gym, rewatching the fight that had made Katsuki’s comeback even more spectacular.

Tokoyami was a hard guy to fight, and all the advice that Ochako had given was right - he was small and fast, and by the second round Katsuki had kept his promise. When the little bird lifted his foot, Katsuki grabbed hold of the man’s ankle and spun them to the ground. Once there, Katsuki changed positions, raining down fists before he caught the chicken in a headlock and knocked the fucker out.

In the years he’d been fighting, Katsuki had garnered a bit of a name for himself. It was why his sudden defeat had been so shocking, as well as humiliating. His fight with Tokoyami had shown the world he was back in business. They’d called him Ground Zero - not overly creative, but accurate. If he got you to the ground, it was all over, and everyone knew it. Round Face had worked him to the bone to make sure he didn’t rely so heavily on his signature tactic. Getting his opponents to the floor wasn’t always easy. Getting them to stay there was harder.

“I’m about to knock the fucker out,” Katsuki remarked, watching as Ochako tied her hair up into a ponytail. She bent near the ring, letting her hands wrap the tape across her knuckles easily.

“That was three months ago, you have other fights to worry about,” she reminded, looking over at the crowd that had gathered near the tv, watching the blow by blow match that Katsuki got accosted for a moment before, “are you all gonna waste your damn money in my gym or do you want to work?” she snapped and the crowd dispersed.

“Sorry sensei!” Some of the younger group called out.

“Bakugou, get your ass in here,” she tilted her head towards the ring and Katsuki jogged up, putting his gloves on and meeting his trainer on the mat.

Ochako was skilled in a way that was hard to explain; she was in a middle diversion for weight - featherweight - so she wasn’t in any means a small woman, but she wasn’t heavy. She was fast, and punched like a truck hitting a lampost - hard and nasty. She had little regard for how he was doing as she hammered away at his torso, bringing her knee up to see if he would block.

He did, but she backed him into a corner of the ring with every single knee. She was brutal, relentless just as he was. It made training that much more exciting - to be pushed the same way he’d push back.

In this moment, the idea of her taking a break for any reason was ridiculous to him. She was on fire, and just as fucking dangerous and if she was facing any other woman they’d be on the floor drooling by now. How the fuck wasn’t she a pro anymore? She wanted him to believe she chose to leave it all behind? Not with moves like hers.

In the position, Katsuki saw his opening, hooking his hands up from protecting his face to around the back of her neck. Lifting his foot to the post, he kicked off and threw them both to the ground. Almost immediately, Ochako’s bound fist slammed against his cheek, her body wriggling out from underneath him. Katsuki growled.

When she squirmed out from his hold, Katsuki managed to catch hold of her ankle, locking her leg with his own. Even without much pressure or hardly any force, Ochako went nuts, struggling in his hold before tapping onto the mat.

“I’m out! Tapped out!” she called out, and Katsuki released her.

“What’s with you?” he snarled, watching as she staggered to her feet, bent with hands on her knees. She looked like she was going to be sick and her whole body was shaking. He scowled as he watched her.

“Can you give me a sec,” she asked, waving her hand. Katsuki got to his feet, panting as he put his hands on his hips.

“Some return you’re making. Get better too, otherwise what’s the point of having you as a coach?” he spat out, moving around the ring to try and stay warm. Ochako turned to him, rising once more and moving over to him.

“I can still kick your ass - in and out of a ring. Remember that, for next time you want to insult me,” she said, almost turning away.

“Get thicker skin,” he snarled.

“Grow a brain,” she snapped, suddenly bending to the floor and sweeping out his legs. He didn’t even get a moment to think before she went over the top of him, grabbing the collar of his tank top and her fist raised.

“Oi! Watch what you’re fuckin-”

“I’m your trainer, remember? You came crawling to me. You can crawl away anytime. Stop being an ass to me, and maybe I won’t humiliate you in front of my entire gym again,” she said, throwing him to the mat and walking away.

Watching her go, he didn’t realise how hard his heart was beating, or the fact that it was so much faster than even when he was in a fight. He didn’t understand it, but some part of him enjoyed it? All of it made him more confused than before.

For the rest of the day Ochako forced him to do more rigorous weight training, building up his core with Kirishima and ignored any chance for him to fight. Katsuki was being punished for something that he wasn’t aware of and it infuriated him.

A week following was when he saw that same hesitation in her. He’d never once seen her hesitate with a move when he was growing up and training with her. Yet now, Katsuki felt like he was analysing her from afar - watching her every movement a little more intensely. Maybe his shitty attitude wasn’t the only thing that was wearing her down. She ignored him usually - but after that...he’d hit a nerve he didn’t even realise was there.

Kirishima was padded up, clapping his fists together as Katsuki charged. Barrelling towards his trainer, he jumped up and slammed his fist down and across Kirishima’s face. The idiot was too busy being scared out of his mind to block, and it came in hard knocking the fucker on the ground.

Ochako made an audible gasping noise as Katsuki burst into laughter.

“Your fucking face! I haven’t seen anything as stupid as you damn face,” he cackled, holding his stomach as Kirishima tore his head gear off. He staggered to his feet, his face broken into a grin in spite of his obvious frustration.

“Not my fault that you’re an actual devil coming in to kill me!” Kirishima said, trying not to smile as much. He soon chuckled, bending over and laughing alongside Katsuki. Ochako groaned from the ropes, rubbing at the bridge of her nose.

“I have to go teach some of the youngsters, can you guys focus on core work?” she waved them both off.

“Always sensei!” Kirishima called out.

“Kiss ass,” Katsuki muttered. The pair took off their gloves and moved from the ring to the floor. Katsuki propped himself down to the ground, Kirishima standing on tops of his feet lightly as he began to sit up, holding positions longer and longer in order to maintain his core strength.

From the corner of his eye, he watched Ochako with a group of teenagers, all following her instructions. They followed without much protest, and she smiled as she instructed. She stood easily in position before she braced her leg and shot it up. The group awed, but Katsuki frowned midway through his situp.

“Bakubro, keep going!” Kirishima tried.

“Shut up for a sec, shitty hair,” he said under his breath, watching once more as Ochako showed the move.

Katsuki first noticed it when her foot hovered from the ground. The apprehension to put it down after her extension was clear to him. Then, as she prepared herself once more, she took a moment, stretching out her leg before she eventually threw it out for an example. That time, he saw her wince as she pushed herself - she moved on with little drama but Katsuki could tell…

Something was wrong.

The rest of the training for that day was filled with thoughts that lingered. He kept catching her out of the corner of his eye, throwing him off more than he realised. When he grabbed his things at the end of the day, she said he wasn’t focused. He grumbled, because he wanted to say the same thing.

When he got home that night, Katsuki pulled his laptop out, scrolling through different searches to find the fights that had been her last few. He had heard she was a pro fighter, but he was always so focused on himself, he never bothered to check in with her. She was an Uraraka, just someone he knew...at one stage. He found nothing in the fights leading up to her last one, and watched it with hand over his mouth and jaw, knee jumping as he watched from the start.

She was going good, throwing her weight where she needed to, her knees jabbing up to her opponents stomach, kicking at her head and throwing her to the ground. It was in the third round, however, that Katsuki felt like things were going to go badly.

Ochako looked tired, her face bloodier than he had ever seen it, but when the other fighter came flying in, throwing Ochako into the fence, it rattled her. Then, crashed into the mat, the women struggled against each other. Then, a legbar was put on Ochako, and the grip he had over his jaw tightened.

The leg hold was brutal - her opponent, Toga Himiko, pulled with so much force, Katsuki could feel his knee tensing. Even though Ochako screamed, her cries so agonising it was like it ripped a hole in the middle of the stadium. The audience on screen was silent - and the fucking referee wasn’t doing a fucking thing. If Katsuki was there, he would have run into the damn ring.

Ochako did all she could - pulling herself up, she rained down fists into Toga’s face until the bitch let her go. And it worked. Katsuki found himself cheering when Toga’s grip came loose. When she finally did, Ochako changed positions, holding her opponent in a headlock until she passed out. When Ochako stood however, it was clear she was putting on a brave face, as she always fucking did.

He slammed his laptop shut and grabbed his jacket, slipping it on as he went down to the gym. The lights were still on, and he could hear some noises. He rounded the corner, finding Ochako stacking away some of the weights, some areas of the gym mopped

She turned to see him, frowning as she took in his scowl.

“You lied,” he said, the noise echoing around the empty space, even though his voice was only above a whisper.

“About?” she said, holding tight to the fresh towels she was putting out. She stepped one foot back as Katsuki walked to her. He stopped before her, close enough he could reach between them if he wanted. He felt tight, the frustration that had been building on the walk over amplifying now that she was right there. He glanced at her leg, and she straightened up when she noticed.

“You took a break, but you’re out, aren’t you?” he snarled, feeling the coil in his chest beginning to tighten, just a word could snap it in half.

“What are you talking about?”

“Pretty convenient how your dad was in the hospital before your last fight, made staying there a whole lot more believable,” he said, putting all the pieces together when he was walking over there.

Her eyes went wide as she put thing down. “Bakugou,” she tried, though her words fell short.

“What happened?”

“Nothing! I told you, I’m taking a break,” she tried, a smile so fake, it was ridiculous how she thought it would pass.

“Alright then, get on the mat and show me! I’ll put you in a legbar and you can get out of it,” he challenged, stepping into her.

The way she looked at him - it was hurt, and fear all rolled into one. She understood that he knew, and that seemed to frighten her more. She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest as her lips pursed. She didn’t look at him at first, until her chin snapped up to look him in the eye.

“I got hurt, ok? Torn ACL and a hairline fracture in my ankle. They warned me about fighting again. When I went to training, I could feel things weren’t right,” she said, huffing as she looked at her feet. When she looked back up, her bottom lip was wobbling. She sucked it in for a moment before she spoke. “I am taking a break, just trying to feel whole again.”

“Then you gotta work just as hard,” Katsuki said, determination in his voice, “women’s rounds start up again soon.”

“Bakugou, I can’t!” she replied with a shaking voice.

“So that’s it? You’re done now? One injury and you call it a day? You can’t be serious!” Katsuki raised his voice. Ochako stepped in towards him, raising her voice to the same level as his own.

“I can’t just - act like everything is back to normal. Every time I move I just feel it click and-”

“That’s what physio is for! That’s what these spars are for! I’ll fucking help you! You’re the one that told me to get back up every time-”

“I’m not you! No one is like you!” she shouted, silence filling the room with only their breathing to fill the void. A tear slipped past the rim of her eye, and she wiped it away, stepping past him and going to her office. That was it, no other words spoken. He didn’t need to lose his only decent trainer. He wanted to kick equipment across the damn gym, but knew if he did that, she’d actually kill him. More than anything, her words hurt him.

His words hurt her.

Katsuki left, rage filling his core until he got home. When he was met with silence and emptiness, a dark and unwelcoming home, he sat on his couch, his head going into his hands.

He fucked up, his temper and resentment got the better of him; but he wanted to know, he wanted to know before they started - he thought…

He didn’t know what he thought. He hadn’t really considered why he’d gone to the Uraraka gym after his loss. Had never really considered anyone else training him either. It was like he just knew that it was what he’d needed to get better - to get stronger and take his place back at the top. So if it was just that, then whatever Round Face wanted for her own career shouldn’t have bothered him. But clearly it had, if the way he’d blown up earlier had anything to say. Was it because she was a pro? A legend in her own division that called respect - someone so good he could say “of course I won, I trained under Uraraka Ochako, and she’s the best” and everyone would know. Would understand just what he had done to make himself stronger than ever.

Had he gone to her because of her skill, or because of what she represented? Had he wanted to be trained by Uraraka, the fighter, or Ochako, the person he’d known since he was a stupid kid?

Was he really that fucking selfish that he couldn’t come up with an answer?

He swore to himself and dragged himself to bed.

He stared at the screen, her text messages from a week before sitting there. He wanted words to say, to voice the guilt that he harboured...but he couldn’t. That wasn’t him. Pressing his phone to his chest, he stared at his ceiling, wondering if she hated him like so many others did. It wouldn’t surprise Katsuki, but the thought made his chest ache. All he could see the fear in her eyes when he’d confronted her, how her face had twisted to stop from crying.

It took hours for him to fall asleep that night.

When he got to the gym the next morning, he wasn’t sure if he would be allowed in. He put his things down in Ochako’s office, finding her behind the desk. He watched as she kept her eyes on the computer, not even glancing up to him. Part of him wanted to be mad for being ignored, but this wasn’t his thing to be mad about. He wasn’t the one that was injured. He wasn’t the one that couldn’t fight anymore.

Every injury was different, most could be recovered from. It’s the mental stuff that stops athletes. Katsuki had been one. He broke his wrist when he was twenty-one and thought he’d never fight again. A voice in the back of his head told him that he would and he got through it. Glancing up to her office, he wondered what that voice would be thinking of him now.

Kirishima couldn’t get to the gym that day, which made Katsuki’s lonely morning even more noticable. It wasn’t until midday when Ochako came out, meeting Katsuki at a punching bag that they finally acknowledged each other. He held the bag, panting lightly as she stood beside him, arms crossed over her chest.

“Are you serious? You’d help me fight again?” she asked, a scowl on her face. He couldn’t tell if she were doing it because she was scared he wouldn’t or she was still pissed at him.

Katsuki picked up the bottom of his tank top, wiping it over his mouth and forehead to get the sweat from his skin. “Always, cheeks,” he panted. She let her arms go to her hips, hands bound around the fabric of her tights.

“Then we’re doing this together,” she nodded, “I train you, you train me.” Katsuki smirked, his arms going over his chest as he leaned into her.

“I’ll break you,” he spoke her words back to her.

“I’d like to see you try,” she snorted, shoving his chest and holding onto the punching bag to prep him for his new coming round.

He tried to live up to his words, but the reality was - even if he tried to break Ochako now, she was way too resilient to take down. She’d been broken before, and there was no way in hell that someone was getting that chance again.

With weeks of preparation under their belt - management and promotional material all being handled. Sure, Katsuki was already on his way, but Ochako’s comeback was just important - the two of them a team that no one could rival? There was a part of him that knew this was missing from his life before - the small spark of drive that had dissipated over the years.

How their fights lined up was Ochako fought the day before he did. As the days came closer and closer, their opponents announced, they were getting ready. Katsuki was set to match with an old rival - Midroyia Izuku...stupid Deku, and Ochako was up against Kendo Itsuka. Apparently the pair had faced each other before, but it was hard for Ochako at the time. But they were both ready, breaking down their opponents and working on what they needed to improve on.

After a long day of training, Katsuki was preparing to leave when he caught the end of a phone call. Ochako’s parents couldn’t make it - her dad was doing well, but still lacked some strength, it was too hard for him to travel.

“Do you want me to be there?” he asked, watching as Ochako wiped the sweat from the back of her neck. She looked up, presenting a fake smile - forcing herself to be happy in spite of the obvious pain she was feeling.

“You’re not my coach,” she reminded him. It was true. She’d been officially his coach for months now, but nothing had ever been established about him working with her. He’d just been helping her out. Maybe he did want to be part of her team, but that wasn’t why he wanted to be there. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to be there for her, other than the fact that she had been there for him. Though that had never been enough before. She sat back down behind her desk, sighing as she relaxed.

“It's a public event, round face. Never said I’d cheer you on,” he said and she rolled her eyes.

“If you wanna, I’m not going to force you,” she said, unwrapping her hands, feet up on her desk as she reclined.

“Whatever,” he scoffed, pulling his bag over his shoulder and walking out of her office.

“I’ll see you before your fight,” she called out. He waved over his shoulder.

“Oi!” He yelled, ducking his head back into the door, “two fucking rounds? Ok?”

Ochako laughed and waved him off.

The arena was crowded with fans, Ochako’s banner hung over her side, the large image of her face scowling at the audience. Katsuki had laughed the first time he’d seen it, and gotten punched in the gut in response. He couldn’t see her yet, and he knew she’d be back in the lockers probably, stretching out and wrapping her hands the way she did before all their sessions. Katsuki had hopes of her win - she’d been working just as hard as him, if not more. When he left, he knew she trained more - worked longer hours than she should have. Katsuki could always hear the weights shifting as he left the empty gym, or the sound of fists against leather echoing around.

With a cap on, he stood amongst the crowd towards the back. He’d talked to Ochako’s manager and got himself a ticket and a pass to go back if he wanted to see her afterwards. He didn’t want his presence to be some kind of distraction - if he could be considered one. All he wanted was Ochako to be the fighter he knew she could be. He didn’t need to be attached to her name at all times.

There was an uproar from the crowd as Ochako was announced. She walked in, looking determined and fierce. She could make a bear run away and hide. Katsuki cracked a smile as he moved the cap up, watching more intently. She was in a black and pink sports bra with the gym’s logo on the front and matching shorts that stopped midway down her thigh. They were loose, as she liked the room to move around. Katsuki and she agreed on that.

In all, she looked like a fighter, her hair in two tight braids running from the top of her scalp and down either side. It kept her hair out of her face, and gave her a more polished look.

When Kendo came in, white sports bra and shorts that matched, she looked like she was preparing for murder. Every fighter could kill a person if the chance arose, so seeing these women face off, rage in their eyes, it wasn’t anything new.

The match started soon after they entered, and the first round was an exchange of hard punches. Ochako got pinned to the fence a few times, making Katsuki chew on his lip. But a few hard knees to the gut gave her distance to prepare her next move. Before they could really get going, the horn went and the first round was gone.

All Katsuki wanted to do was be beside the ring, yelling at her to move and keep her motivated, but even from a distance, he could tell that her drive was still as strong as ever.

The second round started, and Katsuki felt like his blood was on fire. It rang in hard, with Ochako facing a brutal onslaught without a second to breathe. Her left eye and cheek took a hammering, making her defence change up. Her arms were up around her face, as she then took swings to the body, stepping back from the woman across from her. Kendo didn’t want to give up soon.

But neither could Ochako. That wasn’t in her. It never was. It was why she got injured in the fucking first place. Then as Kendo came closer, jabbing to catch Ochako off guard, It was Ochako who took the next advantage. With one hard sweep of Kendo’s right leg, the woman was staggering back. Ochako took her chance and went wild, throwing fists that could knock out grown men in an instant.

A left hook to the face, followed swiftly by a right, then finished with an uppercut had Ochako’s opponent on the floor, bleeding from the nose. Ochako followed, snaking her body around the soon to be defeated Kendo and had her in a headlock that would put other fighter’s to shame. As soon as Ochako’s bicep curled, Kendo was tapping out, sending Ochako to her feet in a roar of excitement.

Katsuki couldn’t help it, he jumped, cheering loudly from the stands along with every other person in that arena. But he didn’t care about anyone else - he saw the short, chubby cheeked woman that trained with him every day, he saw her rise when no one had known she could fall. To him, she was everything in that moment.

Two fucking rounds. He couldn’t believe it. Well, he could! But it was like magic! She’d done it with little effort.

After making his way through security and getting back to the locker room door with her name on it, he leaned against the wall, waiting for any sign of her. It took a few more minutes before he saw Ochako and her team, all marvelling over her and her victory.

“Knew you could do it,” he called out, bringing her attention up to him. Her manager, he knew as Yaoyorozu Momo, walked beside her and shrugged as Ochako looked over to her. Momo continued on the phone as the crowd was still cheering Ochako’s name.

“Bakugou!” she said, voice surprised and overjoyed in one. She ran the distance between them, bounding up and into Bakugou’s chest. Her arms were around his neck as she held him - no, hugged him - and he followed suit, holding onto her until she let her grip go. “You came!” she beamed. Katsuki put his hands in his pockets and shrugged.

“Needed to see you slam that bitch to the ground,”

“Did I do alright?” she asked. She was smiling wide, but her left eye was fully closed, already swollen and bruised. Katsuki lifted his hand to her face, but she didn’t react to his touch, the area must have been numb.

“Yeah. You did ok. Not as good as me, but you’d pass,” he smirked. Ochako scoffed, jabbing him in the ribs softly before she bounded straight back up and into his arms. The way she giggled, a joy that she hadn’t shown since she had started training him, it made him feel alive.

“You want to grab a beer?” he asked, letting her back on the floor.

“I want mochi,” she sighed. Katsuki slung his arm over her shoulder as she wandered ungracefully to the room with her name printed outside.

“At least that will keep you a featherweight,” he said, reaching over and pinching her cheek.

“Asshole,” she said, knocking her hip against him, keeping him away as she stepped into her locker room to change. “We’ll meet at the gym, yeah?” she asked. Katsuki nodded.

“I’ll buy, just don’t fucking die before you get there, ok?”

“No promises,” she laughed.

“Oi, don’t even play,” he warned her.

“I’ll be there soon, I promise,” Ochako shook her head and waved him off.

She kept her promise, meeting with him for a little while before she seemed tired. Fights kept adrenaline going for so long before it became unbearable to stay awake. Katsuki walked her up to the office and through to her apartment attached to the building. It wasn’t big, but could fit a bed and a little kitchenette. He knew her parents didn’t live far, but it probably kept costs low if she slept there so she didn’t have to worry about paying for three different places.

When she was tucked in, he combed her hair out of her face, looking at her blown up face, somehow she still looked like the Ochako he knew.

“There’s ice in the fridge for your face tomorrow, and I put aspirin by your bed with water if you feel shit tomorrow morning.”

“Who needs a boyfriend when I have Bakugou Katsuki taking care of me,” she giggled, putting a hand to his cheek briefly before she slid into her sheets once more.

“Whatever, round face,” he scoffed. “Call if you need anything,” he said, patting her arm and making sure all her lights were turned out.

“Night Bakugou,” she sighed peacefully.

In the back of his mind, a voice asked him to say something, but he didn’t dare listen to it.

Even as he walked home, it beckoned once more.

She should have called me Katsuki.

He shook it away and got to his apartment, happy with her victory.

The next day brought something Katsuki wasn’t aware of in the moment - he was usually so careful. He should have expected it, it was a major event, especially with Ochako’s return. But photos were circulating around the internet already, rumours coming out about their apparent relationship - all because the photos seemed friendlier than normal.

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

Scrolling through, Katsuki found the ones of Ochako jumping up into his hold, one where he touched her face and a few others as they parted ways. In the midst of his anger for his failure to go undetected, he flicked his eyes back to one.

The one, with his hand raised to her eye - he found that he didn’t mind it. Ochako looked so happy as she looked at him. With a foreign feeling in the pit of his stomach, he saved the photo, and set it as his background. Once it was done, he stared at his decision, unsure what his motive was, but it was done, and he didn’t mind to see her happy every day.

He didn’t train that morning, but instead decided to go for a run. He had anticipation building over his form and he was ready for it to leave him already. Instead, it only built. By the time he got to the stadium, Ochako still sporting a wicked purple and blue eye, she could see he wasn’t good.

Something about the way she looked at him made him feel sick. “Hey,” she started, moving around to his side. “You good?”

“Fine.” He knew it wasn’t fooling her, but he wasn’t sure why he was lying in the first place. He didn’t understand why he felt nervous. It was a big fight, sure, but it wasn’t as if he hadn’t been training for it since he took down Tokoyami.

“Oi,” she mimicked him, her fist lightly tapping him underneath the chin. “I’ll treat you to beer after,” she smiled, and Katsuki scoffed.

“You better be buying,” he replied, and the nerves settled. It was as if they washed from his body in a second that he hadn’t had time to realise it was gone until Ochako turned away from him.

The walk out was the same, a roar of a crowd that beckoned for his win or loss. He wasn’t going to lose ever again. Inside the ring, he jumped up and down, getting his body as limber as possible, waiting for Deku to get inside. His walk was quick, Yagi Toshinori his coach. He was one of the hardest trainers to get, but of course fucking Deku got him.

Not as good as Katsuki’s though.

Deku was built like a middleweight - thick and built for a fight. The nerd was known for breaking down his opponents to a micro level, meaning that most of Katsuki’s maneuvers against him were always hard to swap out - it made Katsuki feel unnatural in a fight, but it kept his winning streak going.

In bright green shorts, he bent, shaking out his legs and smiling to Katsuki before the fight. Katsuki rolled his eyes.

Before anyone could call the fighters to gather, Ochako moved into the ring, and brought his attention to her. He thought she’d give him advice, but there was a cockiness in her smirk that told him otherwise.

“Show ‘em what having a pro as a coach does,” she said, patting his shoulder as she prepared to leave him.

He grinned back at her, putting his mouth guard in and smacking his fists together.

The go was given, and Katsuki clapped his fists together again, watching as Deku came in fast. He didn’t waste time. He had a plan and he wanted it to pay off. Not likely. He was only a few feet from Katsuki when he kicked up at his knee, throwing Katsuki slightly. When Katsuki saw the second one coming as Deku exhaled, Katsuki didn’t give him a chance to think.

Throwing the same kick back at Deku, Katsuki hit hard, throwing in a right hook and making Deku stumble back in surprise. After that, they traded blows, fists coming in hard to ribs and smacking faces that made the other stumble.

When Deku grabbed hold of the back of Katsuki’s neck, knees hitting his torso, Katsuki grunted, bracing every time to gather himself. Once more, he followed the nerd’s movements, hands on the back of his neck, but instead, he used the leverage to pull Deku’s head down and made the leap up with his knee that much easier.

That spooked the fucker.

But he moved faster than Katsuki anticipated. Once on his knees, Deku grabbed Katsuki’s knee and forced him off balance, backing him up and his back made contact with the fence.

Fuck.

It was either in the back of his mind or it was actually Ochako who screamed bloody murder for him to get off the fucking fence. Deku threw fists and jabbed knees into Katsuki’s gut, and he felt like he was losing his breath every time those blows came.

The way Deku had him pinned was making everything uncomfortable. Katsuki tossed them back over, pushing Deku into the fence, but every movement felt like it was more draining than the last. In spite of it all, Deku kept an unrelenting pace, fists that burned and knees that didn’t give up.

Katsuki looked at Ochako, her words lost amongst the crowd, but that bruised eye, rage hidden in that chocolate warmth - a fire burned hotter than Katsuki thought it could. Hooking his arms underneath Deku’s, Katsuki roared, picking up Deku and throwing the nerd over his shoulder. The pair landed, but Deku was the loser of the act, trying to scramble to life. Katsuki was over him in a second, beating him down before he locked his legs around his waist, and arms hooking around his neck. Katsuki forced them to switch, laying with his back to the mat and Deku trying to pull Katsuk’s arm from his neck.

Locking his hands in place, there was no way in hell Katsuki’s choke hold would break.

Ochako was beside the ring telling Katsuki to keep his hips locked, to stop Deku from writhing around. Doing as he was told, Deku essentially became defenseless.

One tight tug and Katsuki felt it.

Deku tapped against Katsuki’s forearm.

Katsuki released his grip and jumped up from the floor.

It was all done in one round.

Ochako stood beside the ring screaming her head off, arms in the air. He roared back, most likely looking like a feral idiot with his tongue out and hands bound ready for a further fight. When Katsuki got his win, Ochako ran into the ring, jabbing fists into his torso with little to no force before she curled her arms around him. He held on tight before Kirishima came bounding over the top, almost tackling the pair to the ground.

Katsuki would have bit the guy’s head off on any other occasion, but for a moment, looking at the joy in his face at Katsuki’s victory? It made everything feel worth it. He clapped Kirishima on the shoulder as the loser came over, hand extended.

“Better luck next time, Deku,” Katsuki boasted.

“You were amazing out there, Kacchan,” Deku replied. Katsuki scowled, only to be jabbed in the side by Ochako. She knew their past better than anyone. Rolling his eyes, he embraced Deku for a moment before moving away.

“Tch, whatever,” Katsuki scoffed, ruffling the green hair that stood in the idiot’s head. “You could have had a better chance if you weren’t facing me.”

Katsuki found Ochako had moved off, still smiling wide as she glanced over to him. He’d never felt more motivated to win until he saw her face. The trophy on her face, proving that she was a fighter through and through, and he was a fool to be anything else as her fighter.

Outside the gym, the small brick wall they had sat on all those years ago still felt like home. In their hands, Ochako and Katsuki held beer and shared some chicken wings that she was craving. They sat in silence for the most part, and Ochako scrolled through her phone, reading reactions and seeing the headlines of the pair.

The bottle touched Katsuki's lips, stinging at the split and soothing the pain that was only just catching up to him.

“Ugh, you seen this shit?” Ochako groaned, showing her screen to him. Across was the article that he had seen that morning, and the pictures underneath.

“Oh the photos? Yeah. Media bullshit,” Katsuki grumbled. He felt his phone burning in his pocket. Not literally, but fuck it felt like it in that moment. He took a sip and wondered if she could tell that his ears were burning.

“We’ve known each other for sixteen years, it’s hard to think of us as -”

“Right.” He was short with her, and she shrugged it off, drinking more of her beer. “Been eight years since we were last here,” he reminded.

“I was drunk off my ass,” she giggled. Glancing over to her, he felt a smile creep onto his lips. In the moonlight, she was lit up, even with her bruises and exhaustion torn body, she still looked like a wonder to him. He didn’t know how else to describe her.

“We shouldn’t have even been drinking. When your dad found us that night, he damn near kicked my ass,” Katsuki remembered in a laugh, shaking his head as he looked up to the moon. Part of him hated the damn thing - why did the bastard have to light her like that?

“As he should have, we were underage and you were having a professional qualifier in like two days' time,” she recalled. He didn’t realise how much of that time she remembered. He thought she was too drunk...

“What made you say it?”

“Say what?”

He cleared his throat, avoiding meeting her eye and stared back at the moon. In that moment, it was his only saviour. “I was going to be number one?” He glanced at her, watching as Ochako shrugged.

“I don’t know, it just felt like the drive you had you were gonna be the champion for years,” she explained.

Katsuki threw the bottle, landing it in the bin, but he heard it smash. “I lost it, you know.”

“Your fight against Kaminari told me enough,” she scoffed. Katsuki finally turned to look at her. She relaxed on the wall, looking at him with pink cheeks, tipsy but not like that night.

How was she still the same girl, yet such a different woman?

“You watched?”

“Of course. Gotta make sure your ass got back up,” she smiled, pursing her lips before she sighed, as though there was a disappointment she didn’t want to voice. His frown to her warned against that decision. “You were lazy and left yourself open a lot. Poor guy was too dazed to find it and you took him down easy.”

“Tch,” Katsuki scoffed.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on in your life or your head, especially back then, but you’re on your way to becoming number one. We’ll get there - together.” Her hand squeezed at his knee, and Katsuki felt his heart racing. He looked at her, the way her chocolate eyes reflected so wonderfully in moonlight.

He may not have hated the shining bastard in the sky after all.

A car honked its horn nearby, drawing Ochako’s hand away in a flash. He scowled over to the car, watching as a man stepped out. He had the same familiar build as Kirishima, but lacked anything to do with it. Katsuki didn’t like the look of him. “Who’s that?” he asked over to Ochako.

“Oh, that’s Tetsutetsu! He gives the gym new equipment on the cheap. Must have some stuff to give away,” she explained, breaking into a giant smile and jumping down from the small wall. “I’ll be right back.” She waved to Tetsutetsu, and the greyed hair moron smiled back.

Katsuki felt himself heat, as though a fight were on the verge of erupting.

But he wasn’t sure why.

#kacchako #bakugou x uraraka #uraraka x bakugou #my fics #kacchako fic #if my body's alive

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