#i just don't wanna fuck up

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!! #men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

[excali8ur]

When you meet your past lives but they're all ignoring you and freaking out over this one guy?

I've seen a few versions of this floating around with the different Leos and I wanted to have a go at doing one for Mikey. They're all collectively realising what a bus sized bullet they dodged by not ending up as messed up as Ronin

#art #artists on tumblr #Just realised the fucking nightmare I'm about to have tagging all these guys. Fml #tmnt #The Last Ronin #TMNT Mutant Mayhem #rottmnt #tmnt 2012 #mikey #MM Mikey #Ronin Mikey #rottmnt mikey #2012 mikey #tmnt idw #idw mikey #tmnt crossover #I'm not tagging the others I don't wanna clutter up any more tags than I already have #I like to imagine Ronin is just telling MM Mike the most horrific shit and everyone else looks round like What The Fuck #Also if you're wondering where Bayverse Mikey is: I didn't include him because I hate him so goddamn much ^^ #He's in interdimensional turtle jail for 6 million years #the last ronin spoilers #I GUESS LMAO

[umblrspectrum]

you'll never guess which movie i finally watched after 2 years of being lazy

#dont you just love it when your artstyle changes like 5 times in the span of a day #i saw emmachen1003 give them the glove type thingys and went “that looks cool. im stealing it” #so uhm. props to them for being awesome and making cool art #anyways that was a fun movie #not gonna say the title here cause i think it messes with searching and i dont wanna do that #that n frame is like the first time i have ever done a decent angle/perspective thing #im so proud of it you don't even know #murder drones #murder drones uzi #murder drones n #serial designation n #murder drones nori #absolute solver #i guess #or is it absolutesolver #whatever #oh yeah uhmm #murder drones episode 7 #murder drones episode 7 spoilers #murder drones spoilers #its been 2 weeks but im gonna give it another day just to be safe #just realized i fucked up the quote and its pissing me off so edited. go fuck yourself

[dulcelem]

omg ivan's turn next? 😍

#alnst #alien stage #mizisua #ivantill #alnst hyuna #ivan alien stage #alnst ivan #i just really wanna see him tbh #i'll miss this fucked up little guy so badly you don't get it #but. till better go crazy with the flashbacks #i have QUESTIONS

[gabe-lovebot]

councilor 3D model

i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him

[link]

please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)

currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.

#hello councilnation i'm finally releasing him to the wild #have fun playing toys with him #ultrakill #councilor #councilor ultrakill #3d stuff #obviously with the councilor having just 1 full body image of him means that some stuff i had to improvise on #so you get to enjoy my headcanons on how he looks #(like obviously the wings & halo) #(but also the chestplate design) #but did you know that the councilor's canon design has subtle engravings on his forearm armor pieces? #i only barely noticed them when painting textures and i was floored #i had to add them #to the sfm anon and whoever else wants to use this for sfm stuff- #i did my best with a port for sfm and i'm quite proud of the result #but please be aware i have never used it before so if you find that something doesn't work as it should please please let me know!! #gonna pour my heart out in tags as always so close your eyes if you don't wanna see me being sentimental but #i'm not kidding when i say i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up for this #i have meddled with blender before but never actually came close to finishing a project #and i don't know how i did it and how i kept going #(i do know) (it was my friend encouraging me every time i showed him progress) #this was like 1 entire month in the making #but i'm so fucking proud of this and how it turned out and people's tags in my act 2 render genuinely were such a huge confidence boost #so thank you guys for liking it <3 #i'm still very much thinking of doing a version with just his bloodied head #but it might take a while because i want a break and i want to play warframe

[followerofmercy]

I think Freminet has some of the most interesting dissonance in his self perception of any Genshin character.

Like, of the Hearthlings we know, he's one of the most emotionally mature and intelligent. Lynette might still have him beat, but after playing her hangout... I dunno. I think they're tied. Lyney is Crumbling, Alrecchino is. Well. Arlecchino. Everyone else is a deeply traumatized child or adult and Freminet seems to pretty regularly be people's emotional support. His character stories talk about getting his vision by saving a bunch of other kids on a dive that went bad. The Selkie event literally had him being a therapist for a grownass woman, citing his past experiences with all the other Hearthlings that have died or killed themselves. And he handled that situation WELL. Yeah, he seems to live in a fantasy, but goddamn he's alive and a lot of people in his position aren't so clearly something is working.

Either his or Lyney's character story talks about the time Freminet had reached out to Lyney to try to ease his burdens, which resulted in Lyney blowing up at him. That probably contributed to Freminet thinking he's not good at it, but I think the reason Lyney reacted so badly was BECAUSE Freminet is actually a good support. He can't allow himself that from the little brother he's supposed to protect.

Freminet seems to both cry and dissociate often, but like... Kiddo you are in fact the only person in this family actually processing your emotions. Lynette dissociates 24/7. Arlecchino. Lyney lies and tells everyone he's fine and would literally rather die than admit otherwise. In comparison, Freminet is doing FANTASTIC

Freminet also gets a lot out of helping people! Like anyone, he needs to feel useful and needed. He seems to be an excellent mentor to the younger Hearthlings and perfectly competent on his own, but when you put him in a room with Lyney and Lynette who baby him and insist that THEY take care of HIM, he withdraws into himself.

Like, Freminet by himself feels like a young man and Freminet with the magician twins feels like a teenager. I have no idea how old he actually is. Logically, he would be OLDER than them! He's been with the House much, much longer and his experience shows. I think it's fascinating that they love him SO MUCH and yet, they just Cannot let him help them. Which is hurting him.

(Lynette is much better about not babying him and that is probably why their relationship is so much better than Freminet and Lyney's. Also why she keeps having to mediate between them. Because Lyney charges off trying to Fix Everything and that just makes Freminet feel useless and he doesn't want to get in the way and- you get the point)

Idk. It's hard to tell what things the previous director said to him vs what Arlecchino has said to him. I'm inclined to think our Arlecchino was the one that said he cries too much, but in a "crying in front of your enemies will get you killed" way and she herself is too fucked up to realize how "you cry too much" could be damaging.

Also I try not to consider gameplay stuff when it comes to story, but Freminet also has some of the most BRUTAL animations. He SMASHES HIS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT METAL PENGUIN INTO HIS ENEMY'S FACE. He doesn't think he's the most amazing fighter, and by Fatui standards he probably isn't, but he is winning fights against most grown men.

Tldr Freminet thinks he cries too much and is a burden and isn't good at helping people when he's actually the most mentally stable Hearthling send tweet

#freminet #genshin #house of hearth #character analysis #this is all over the lplace bc I'm on my phone #many freminet thoughts today #I don't wanna talk about trailer spoilers but also #this young man is a physical MONSTER #he's so similar but so different to Kaveh #where a lot of people Do perceive Freminet as a little... off #and he is #but he is a beacon of hope for all the other fucked up kids that are lost and alone #and I just think that's neat #kiddo benefits a lot from helping others #you can see how he lights up #even the hydro dragon hydro dragon don't cry #I'm sorry #this kid is comforting GOD #i think that says something

[soullessseraphim]

"but they're a demon, they don't need to sleep or anyth-"

SHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh............

quiet. and accept my sleepy Valdemar.

#Maybe they like sleep for three days every four months you don't fucking know #my art #digital art #my artstyle #art #fanart #drawing #my art style #artists on tumblr #do not download #do not repost #the arcana fanart #the arcana #the arcana courtiers #the arcana game #the arcana valdemar #quaestor valdemar #valdemar #valdemar fanart #I found THE brush to sketch with #they eepy oww #they just woke up #I love them I swear #I just wanna cuddle in bed for real #I'm sure they like never take these bandages off unless it's to change them #SMOOCH #valdemart

[eyes-of-nine]

truly what a guy

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #john doe #john malevolent #my art #ahfdgfghsdd i have so many important things to do but these two have overtaken all of my waking thoughts so i'm fucked to say the least #adgfd i just wanna talk about them with someone but no one i know has the energy for that 12h long infodump #straight up today was my first truly no work day in a few weeks and what did i do? spent half the day figuring out how i want to draw arthur #still not sure if this the direction i wanna take his design in but somehow along the process he ended up as like my ideal look on masc days #tbh i don't have the time to unpack whatever that says about me ywy #john's design is very much still a first draft but i can't think about it too much or i might just actually go insane #this podcast makes me unwell(affectionate) #the universe is so evil for not letting me just draw them all day long ywy #in an ideal world it would be no diploma no uni applications only malevolent #.....i'm gonna stop with the rambling now #so yeah go listen to malevolent

[shakingparadigm]

what is the theory that ivan manipulated the event where till and mizi met the wagyein?

It's not a theory, actually! It's confirmed that Ivan orchestrated the whole event. The true reason as to why however is still unknown. The information provides more context to this scene, though:

During the earlier times of ALNST the most rational explanation for this scene was that Till ran after a flower crown (presumably Mizi's) and Ivan followed him in out of curiosity. Now we know that Ivan was conveniently just standing there because he was waiting.

Side note, I find it heartbreaking (and maybe a little funny, sorry) that Till most likely didn't notice Ivan in this scene. That's just like him, isn't it. Always too busy running after Mizi while Ivan trails behind, an ever-present shadow.

I'm not sure how Ivan manipulated the circumstances for both of them to end up there, but it is confirmed that everything was intentional. What strikes me most is how they describe this particular scene:

I can't copy down what they said word-for-word (Patreon info), but they described Ivan watching "creepily" as Till and Mizi are faced with danger. We know that Ivan was familiar with the Cerberus wagyein beforehand, enough to touch its teeth and even to rest himself inside its maw. To Ivan, the wagyein is not dangerous, but to Till and Mizi, it could be. Ivan prepared the wagyein, led them there, and watched "creepily" from afar as Till fell on his knees, seemingly injured.

The closest I can get to making sense of Ivan's "scheme" is that he wanted to see how other children would react in a dangerous situation. Ivan's always been an observer, after all, and he's learned to survive by copying the more "normal" behaviors of his peers. This situation occured when Ivan was still young and had not yet developed his more charming mask, so perhaps he staged this encounter to study a situational response, to learn and mimic the emotion of fear. And what better subjects for the experiment than two of the most expressive and reactive humans of their batch? It helps that he was already fixated on Till beforehand, too. I think Ivan became irreversibly obssessed after this incident, especially since it's framed as a turning point in Ivan's life, comparing Till to the stars.

This is just my attempt at an interpretation, though. It could very well be for another reason. He most likely chose Till and Mizi specifically for personal reasons, not just for reaction. I'm still not sure on the purpose behind the whole thing.

The team wanted to capture Ivan's "dark emotions" through the shot of his stalking, which could relate to his more sinister intentions. His gaze can be read in a few different ways, though. Curiosity, interest, fear, etc. Maybe that's why they decided to redraw the shot in ROUND 6.

I think this better sells the feeling they were trying to convey.

#ivan u fucked up little guy. #also okay i just wanna clear this up #i know i make a lot of posts about ivans darker side and his more problematic traits #but this isn't me trying to villainize him or reduce him down to “toxic yaoi” #I HOPE YOU GUYS KNOW ALL MY TOXIC YAOI POSTS ARE LIGHTHEARTED. #i just want to clarify that ivan was always intended to be a darker and complicated character. even since his debut in round 3 #the way i refer to ivan (“twisted” “creepy” “obssessive” etc) are literally the direct words used by q and v themselves to describe him #but despite that id like to emphasize that i don't see ivan as a villain or a completely bad person. hes complicated #there is no normalcy in this world they are living in. none of the characters know what being truly normal is #this isn't me condoning his actions #but it has to be acknowledged that alnst is fucked up in nature. we can't expect perfect relationships from people who are born to die #plus ivan has a lot more layers past the “dark” parts. he's constantly battling himself and his desires #especially at the end of round 6 where he performs a myriad of conflicting actions (kiss strangle peck smile) #thanks to the r6 production notes we now know that ivan was going through a rapid internal conflict #“sure and unsure at the same time” #there is sooo much to ivan. his low self-esteem. his desire and possessiveness despite knowing till will never love him #his VEHEMENT insistence that till will never love him vs his desperate persistence in trying anyway #uh i need to shut up i think #anyways sorry. just wanted to clarify my thoughts on him in case people think im. yk. #in short. hes a fucked up little freak and he fascinates me. this poor tragic child. i love him. #SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY #alnst #alien stage #alien stage ivan #alnst ivan #asks

[chipistrate]

Game Vanessa appreciation post<3

#Chip Chatter #no Vanny I wanna do her later #sorry I don't know where this came from either I just decided to collect images of my creatures #Vanessa (not Vanny or Movie!Nessa) only having 17 compared to Gregory's 50 is fucked up ngl #Gregory I love you but where is the love for your older sister

[varilien]

excited for jyb noises tomorrow !!

also i like when ppl draw these two together they are friends :)

#trigun #trigun fanart #trigun anime #trigun stampede #vash #vash the stampede #they'd be really fucked up about each other tho that's for sure. like ''oh god i UNDERSTAND you and that HURTS ME'' #bitches who do NOT want to be self-aware for even a second <3 still i think the compassion they'd have for each other would win out #i haven't been forgetting the logo on vash's shoulder btw i just don't wanna fucking draw it LMAO i hate logo #rb took this one down :( sorry folks

[quirkle2]

boy he's rly mobbin all over the place

#qkdraws #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #mp100 shigeo #mp100 mob #shigeo kageyama #mob #recently got into mp100 !! finished season 2 a couple days ago and rly liked a couple stills so <3 here they are #gotta hurry up and watch season 3 before my crunchyroll trial ends ....... #anyway i looooooove when he goes insane . aren't u tired of being nice mob don't u wanna go apeshit #he's SO fun to draw #also quick art rant: i had completely different plans for these two pieces but #i made an overlay with a deep blue and fucked around w the modes and it made mob kinda pop outta the pic #and i just went w it ?? thought it looked nice #just goes to show that u should REALLY experiment . dont let ur fear of fucking things up stop u #the beauty of digital art is that there is an undo button . fuck around to ur heart's content and Find Out ! #anyway the most difficult part of this entire process was making the dust not look weird #im just not good at dust i guess VGEYAGV

[isolophilian]

the thing i dreaded most from before when the pjo tv show came out was probably having to witness the perachel resurgence. never in a million years did I think we would go down the percy x clarisse route

#percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #anti perachel #anti percy x clarisse #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #pjo tv spoilers #isoceratops #im glad they don't have a fucking ship name #like where did that even come from #also im going to change which tags I rant in #bc apparently after the 20th tag on it won't show up on the main tag when you search it up and it won't be recommended to anyone #which explains a lot ngl #so yeah if you wanna see my footnotes/rants/insanity just click on the expand button for the tags

[imrllytootiredforthis]

sub yuta okkotsu agenda 😔

no bc i got THOUGHTS, i got so many thoughts about my babygirl named yuuta okkotsu, you don't even UNDERSTAND how badly i want him

him in the movie-*aggressive eye twitch*, his big sweet innocent puppy eyes-fuck it just *short circuits*

AND THEN afterwards when he's his anxious, tired, emo self (me too fr), like he's still just my cutie patootie and it's a literal CRIME how little sub fics of him there are bc take one look at that baby AND TELL ME that he is a daddy dom in bed-you'd be lying to yourself and me-and we do not tolerate lying in this house

no but fr, he is not domming for his life. a service top-perhaps, he would still cry a lot though and if you were making HIM fuck YOU he would beg for you to just take over, his arms shaking on either side of your head as he tries to make you feel good. because it's not the same like this-he wants you to fuck him, he wants to ride you as your hands grope over his body, he wants to pinned against a wall and fucked hard and rough within an inch of his life.

babyboy just wants to be loved and taken care of by his so

#inbox💌 #he's probably my second favourite character in jjk #after geto (my literal wife) #but like i'm not even done talking abt him but i gotta shut up before i talk too much and can't stop😭 #don't even get me started on HIM AND MAKI #god i want her so bad too #they are the bi panic #imagine tagteaming him with maki #and he just dumbly takes it all like a good boy😫 #“i can take it~” #“m' a good boy-right?” #YES YOU"RE A FUCKING GOOD BOY #I WANNA EAT HIM UPPPP #sub yuuta #hard thoughts #dom reader #yuuta x reader #yuuta okkotsu smut #yuta smut #yuuta okkotsu x reader #jjk smut #sub jjk #sub jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader

[samijey]

You have a funny way of showing it

#roman reigns #jey uso #the usos #wwe #wweedit #wanna know what the worst part is? #in roman's fucked up brain he DOES love jey #or what he currently believes love to be anyways #and he's also terrified because he's seen it here #just like he saw it in sami at wargames #he knows jey is a hair away from leaving him #so now does he pull the trigger first #or does he risk being vulnerable at a crucial time aka wrestlemania #if he turns on jey before jey turns on him IMAGINE how tragic that'll be for jey #knowing he had multiple chances to leave roman but never took them #also this version of roman is the greatest villain in wrestling history don't @me #vince mcmahon is often referred to as the best heel in wrestling but does it even count when you're a villain irl too??? #ooooh i feel woozy now #p sure i just made myself sick making this set #stuff i made

[mysaldate]

"Rook loves Vil and Neige"

"Rook the biggest NeigeVil shipper"

"Rook wants to be in a thrupple with Vil and Neige"

Y'all seriously need to stay out of relationships if you think what Rook is doing is in any way shape or form love and not blind toxic obsession. His dream Vil has no personality other than blind adoration of Neige. Even his uniform isn't customized at all. He would lay his life down for Neige and that is the only thing that matters about him. Rook's ideal version of Vil is one who isn't a person but just an accessory to another being he doesn't see as a person either. It is incredibly toxic and unhealthy and I wish y'all realized that.

And Vil calling himself ugly and disgusting for having negative feelings and intrusive thoughts – an idea that Rook planted into his head – is just as toxic. Feeling bad about a genuine injustice committed against you isn't ugly and isn't disgusting and it doesn't define you as a person. Vil shouldn't be calling himself that just because Rook refuses to see him as a person instead of a perfect ideal that gets "sullied" by having negative emotions.

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit #twst vil #twst spoilers #rook hunt #twst rook #<- tags for fellow rook blockers like me #seriously this update is such a rollercoaster #it's a great highlight of how fucked up rook is #and then the vil part is fucking stupid #we've seen how vil acts with people he relies on who fuck up their job #and it is not by abusing them or making them do things that aren't their job #and if you wanna come after me for pointing this out just know that i don't care #my anons are already off because of crazy rook fans #and i'm blocking on sight