#i just owe the aro community so much

[abcwordsurge]

aromantic character prompts

Because I'm so desperate to see these that I guess I'll just make them myself.

The aromatic character will be called "X," the plot convenience secondary character will be called "Y."

X feeling left behind when their best friend Y gets a romantic partner

X going on a blind date with Y, really enjoying themself, but panicking when Y asks to kiss them (or tries to kiss them without asking, for a little extra angst)

X nervously asking Y to be their queer platonic partner

X responding to "one day you'll find someone"

X listening to Y's romance troubles and trying to figure out how to say "I have literally no idea what you think you will gain by telling me this"

two (or more) romantic characters comparing their experience (i.e. an aro character in a relationship and a loveless aro talking about their difference, or aros bonding over their mutual annoyance over allos' tendency to invalidate them)

X realizing that they're aromantic and breaking up with their partner (or communicating and transforming their relationship into a QPR??)

and dialogue prompts:

"no, please... please don't say you love me"

"oh my god, same!"

"why is none of your art about love? don't you feel love?"

"I didn't know you felt that way about me"

"you don't even know what that means, do you"

"oh, I get it now, I don't like them, I just think they're pretty"

"I'm sorry I can't feel the same about you"

"I don't want to explain myself to you!"

"wow, that makes me feel so much better"

and, tip, just... listen to AJR's "Turning Out" trilogy. they just inspire me so much. sometimes when I'm writing something about an aspect character I put on those three songs in a loop to get into the mindset of an aspec person confused about romance.

feel free to use these with or without tagging me- because I am firmly of the opinion that if someone writes a fic (or draws something) based on the, like, ten words I wrote, they owe me nothing, because that art is theirs. but also I'd love to know I inspired someone haha

happy writing!

#writeblr #writing prompt #writing #fluff prompts #angst prompts #aromantic prompts #aspec prompts #dialogue prompt #aromantic #arospec #aspec

[bellacullenvamp]

Red moon, a Twilight saga AU!

•Masterlist•

•Playlist•

The Cullens have a new family member. Y/n is only a 2-year-old newborn... Carlisle stopped her life at age 15, and she still doesn't know why.

Genre: au! | Angst

Rated: This one is a little gore. Read only if you don't mind blood ❣️🍎

Chapter five.

It's the second day. Volterra feels like hell. I was alone, inside the same room since the day I came here. The hunger was making me go mad.

Constantine came into the room with his sister. He said, "The second test finished. Come feast with us." He gave me his hand to be held. I didn't hold it, so he hugged my side and walked me out of the room. Carmilla was walking right behind us.

"You are going to love our feast, my dear," He said in a small voice. Almost as if he said to himself. Constantine and Carmilla brought me to a ballroom. There were humans being devoured by vampires throughout the whole place. The smell was unbearable. I needed to be fed. Constantine let go of me, and I tasted human blood for the first time. It was the most delightful thing I could ever feel and I tasted the richness. It was fantastic.

When I let go of the dead body. My hands were bloody, my face as well as my hair. I was a mess. All of the other vampires were found with their own prey. No one was noticing me. So I ran away. I ran as fast as I could until Alice found me, in the castle's backyard. She stopped my pace with a hug. It was so unexpected I screamed, if I could cry, I would. "It's okay, dear! It's just fine. I'm here," She hugged me and caressed my hair. "I tasted blood, Alice!" I was so astounding loud. I could not believe it. Carlisle would never accept me back.

"None of us would let you alone, "Y/n,"" She said, looking me in the eyes. "And I am so sorry for all the torture you are being through. I know it's all for the love of our family. Thank you so much, love." My head was resting on her shoulder, and my gaze was lost. I felt awful.

"I need to go back. I need to finish this." I told Alice.

"Here. Please, take this phone with you. I know they took all your communications with the outside world," Alice handed me a small device. She kissed my cheek, and I could feel the sisterly love. I was so grateful for her powers and companionship in such a terrible moment.

I went back to the ballroom. The freak show was finished. All of the dead bodies were being taken away by some vampires. Carmilla locked eyes with me. Then she whispered something in Constantine's ears. He smiled and came in my direction. "Veganism is not the right decision, right?" I looked down. My anxiety was at the maximum. If my prayers could be heard, it would be lovely right now.

"When I came here. You said I would immediately meet with Aro! When will this happen so we can end this freakshow?" I tried to sound the most intimidating that I could. "I want to meet Aro now."

Constantine looked confused and then repeated. "You will meet Aro now." Then walked me to the top location of the ballroom. Aro was smiling sinisterly. "She wants to meet you now, Aro, " In a monotonous tone, he said.

"She wants to meet me? Such of a Cullen, to make requests," Aro said with maliciousity. It was easier than I thought it was. He waved at me so I could approximately myself. He grabbed my hand chivalrously and looked deep into my eyes.

"Turns out demanding is not a Cullen thing. But a "Y/n" only," Aro was confusing me with his words. "A mastermind!" He exclaimed with joy.

"You did not know, ha-ha! Something you owe me then, my beautiful Cullen,"

"A mastermind? What is that?" I whispered.

"Why do you think Constantine obeyed you? He does not even obey his lord. You control other motives and actions, 'Y/n"," His words were my enlightenment. I could leave this torture behind.

When I was thinking about that. Alice crossed through the door and climbed up the stairs. "Dear Alice! Came to the party? A pit is almost ending..." Aro opened his arms to greet her.

"Now that you know it all! Leave her to come home with me. We let her come to Volterra, all in peace. Let her come back in peace as well." Alice demanded my freedom.

I wasn't gonna let go of this opportunity, so I said, "I am coming home right now. And none of the Volturi are going to importunate me again. I don't want to ever be part of this clan," I exclaimed, and Alice smiled. Aro did not say a word. You could see how much letting me go was not part of what he wanted. But as he said nothing, no one could move or stop us.

As we walked through the gates of Volterra, I asked Alice, "Did you know about my powers?"

"Yes, both Edward and I knew." She said while putting her hands on my shoulder. "And we are sorry about not telling you. It was not good for your future to know about your powers before that," She continued " All of the paths to your future are better now that willingly, you made the decision to be a part of our family,"

"Pain does bring wisdom," I said. "I'm thankful because of all of my misfortunes. I ended up with Carlisle as my father, and you as my sister," I hugged her and we walked together to her car.

Out of all of my moods and terrible personality, Carlisle never gave up on me. And he never forced me into things. Besides school, of course. I want to go back home and be thankful for all his love.

#twilight #fanfic authors #alternative universe #bella swan #bella swan cullen #edward cullen #fanfic #fanfication #female reader #au!twilight #x reader #twilight x you #twilight x y/n #twilight x reader

[aroclan]

i read sounds fake but okay (the book, authored by the podcasters) and it does not cover anyone allo aro. it also has no awareness of loveless aros, non-sam aros, or apl aros. it even includes a "what makes us human is... love! of all kinds!!" section to finish up the book.

tl;dr: this is, first and foremost, a book about asexuality, by an asexual and a demisexual. to broaden their perspective, they surveyed/interviewed ace and acespec people for additional quotes. throwing in the greens on the cover, and having separate aro and ace flags as the section break within chapters, makes it promise something it never delivers.

i also checked their podcast, which is how i found out this book is one year old (as of recording an episode for release on 25 Feb 2024), meaning the writing process itself probably happened in 2022. given the lack of perspective, i had not expected it to be so recent.

(going to cut the rest of this because it is long)

the focus on and centering of asexuality while borrowing a bit of the aromantic symbols seems rude at best for people who are clearly aware of the difference between aro and ace. they discuss the split attraction model early on, and they consistently use aspec, acespec, and arospec accurately. oh, and they happen to run what might be the biggest aspec podcast (as in, the only podcast I could name if someone asked me, "are there aspec podcasts?")

i also noticed that alterous attraction rates a mere footnote with a brief definition (and that definition is "between platonic and romantic") when one person being quoted used it. somehow, this doesn't come up for discussion in the relationships chapter. or anywhere.

overall, i got the feeling that the authors were approached with a book deal based on their podcast, but didn't actually have much to say. or just, like, phoned it in. it's a relatively short book. it dives deep into an AITA reddit post because apparently only that one person could be found for the topic of housing. and that's a topic that would have to be revisited to pad out the final chapter.

[i wanted to know what other people thought, so i checked reviews, and the answer is: there's a lot of criticism of the authors' position that you can hate JKR but like HP. accurate and valid; i have nothing to add to that.]

i wanted to be objective, so i scanned the book again. out of 82 quotes, Phoebe gets 3, and Rai gets one. Phoebe, she/they, responded as ace but realized they were bisexual (allosexual, alloromantic, trans) afterward; Rai, they/them, included neither an acespec label nor allosexual.

ten quotes are from people who use a sexuality label other than asexual:

2 gray-ace

4 demisexual

2 aspec

1 acespec

1 aegosexual

(i didn't track individual names; Phoebe and Rai just stand out.)

so in the final accounting, five of every six quotes are from people identifying as asexual, and none are from people who are unequivocally arospec and not acespec (including loveless aros, non-sam aros, neu aros, unit aros, allosexual aros, and aplatonic aros. and yes, there is overlap between those terms, but they all have zero representation in the text.)

i want to be clear before signing off... it's not that i think everyone should know everything about our community, necessarily, but i do think that people who claim to write for the whole aspec community owe it to us to be well-informed and inclusive before publishing.

#an aro reviews some books #sounds fake but okay book #rant #queue #aromantic #aro

[queerstake]

I'm sorry for sending this, but I'm. In kind of a weird spot. I don't really have many other places i can turn. I figured out several years ago that i am aro/ace, and for awhile I just thought that was okay. Still okay with church. Just more open than others might be to the queer community. But it's gotten so hard as I've come to fully understand myself. That I'm non-binary. That I am pan for tertiary/alterous attraction. And now I've got a genderfluid datemate. I love them with all my heart. They aren't part of the church. I didn't tell them that I was raised LDS until after we started dating, but they realized a long while ago. They've been supportive and understanding of my position through everything.

But I have a hard time with a lot of the culture that has developed around the church, and I find I don't want to go anymore. Maybe it would be easier if I knew more queer members, but I don't. Any friends i have learned are queer have left.

My family isn't friendly to the queer community, which hurts like hell, because I want to tell them about my partner. My family means so much to me. I want them to be okay with the fact that I still believe in God and Jesus, but I just don't want to be "active".

Even being a "good active member" is mentally exhausting for me. It puts so much mental and social strain on me. Social stuff is extremely mentally exhausting for me. Doesn't help that my dad is emotionally abusive. I know it isn't like this for everyone, but I'm just so tired.

I don't have a lot of people in my life that really understand where I'm at, I'm so sorry for dumping this here. You can delete it. Thank you for what you do, hope you're safe and well.

Hi anon. Your message is about a year old as I'm answering it now, and I'm sorry for making you wait so long. I had some work to do myself before I could dedicate myself to this blog fully, and now that I'm here and ready, I want to start tackling the inbox.

Given that it's been so long, I'm sure your life has changed since you sent this message. I hope you're doing better.

Your message sounds very familiar, actually. I'm also an aroace and trans member. By the time covid came around and church meetings stopped for a period of time, I myself was worn out from struggling to keep up. I think you and me felt much the same. I used the excuse of covid to take a brief church break to figure out how I was going to make being a queer mormon work. I felt awful for having to take time off, but in the end, it really was the right choice for me. I was able to work on myself and my relationship to the church while setting aside some of the pressure I had put myself under for so long and now that I've built myself up stronger, I'm able to come back and foster a healthier relationship to the church.

I'm so glad you have a good relationship with your datemate to help you during this time! Being a queer mormon is really hard. We have to make concessions and reckon with our faith the way many straight mormons don't have to. It IS exhausting. I imagine god has put your datemate in your life in order to help give you the support you need right now.

If you or anyone else needs permission, please DO take a break. God doesn't want you to suffer, and you can't foster a good relationship with him if you're suffocating. Taking a break or not being active is not a bad thing. In fact, it was a REALLY good thing for me and really helped me come back to church even stronger than before.

I'm sorry to hear you were and are going through so much anon, and I hope some of the things I've said at least have helped you feel not alone. If you are able to take a break from church right now, I encourage you to do it! Heal and wrestle with god on your own time. You don't owe anyone anything, and god will be there with you no matter where you go. If you are unable to take a break for some other reason, know you're not alone. We understand you, we've been through the things you're going through, you're welcome to reach out any time you need support. Being a queer mormon is so hard and can be so lonely. Your queer siblings and your heavenly father are here for you.

[ashtreefrog]

Any other aros feel this weird almost pain but not quite feeling kind of in your stomach when you’re watching (usually happy) queer shows that are usually mostly romance-centric (ex. Heartstopper, rw&rb, etc.) like I’m happy for them, I like seeing queer people getting to be happy and just seeing queer stories, but also ow, I wish there wasn’t so much romance stuff or just more non-romance (or non-romance-centric) stuff because it’s like is all people see in the queer community couples? Like it kind of hurts but you’re still happy because ‘yay queer media’ but also ‘ugh romance’ and it’s just this weird feeling that’s super hard to articulate and is low-key painful and very confusing. Like yes of course I’m cheering for byler, I desperately want them to be endgame, but also I’m just so done with seeing so much romance and i just want to watch a fun show without the romance and UGH. Like this is why representation is so important, but especially more diverse and specific representation for everyone. This is why Isaac (heartstopper) is so important to me and i literally cried in his scene at the art show because finally, FINALLY some representation, someone starting to figure themselves out, and it’s not by kissing someone or something, it’s just finally learning about your queer identity and starting to accept yourself, and it not the same romance story. having that OH, That’s ME moment when talking to someone, or learning something, finding the words for yourself.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to say, it’s so hard to articulate, but i see why aros can get shit on for seeming homophobic when really we just want a break from romance, period, no matter who it is. And I’m not trying to diminish the importance or queer romances in media either, because i know we all just want to see ourselves, but it’s kind of like i want some representation too? Like kind of jealousy but i still want you to have what you have, i just also want my similar thing too.

I don’t know if this post make any sense, it’s kind of all over the place, but yeah, more aro rep please

#like I’m just so fucking tired of the romance #but also i get so happy about queer people being represented in the media #it’s just so confusing and i kinda hate it #rant #vent post #aromantic #done with romance #aro representation

[antiterf]

Okay so to make sure no ones surprised, here are some beliefs on discourse and morals.

I'm generally open to talking about them, but please do not fight me on the morals aspect. You can ask for more info but I may get meaner than I'd like if you fight me on morals, I hold them very close to me.

People generally want to do what's best for themselves and for others. Human beings inherently want to be good.

Every human life has value, one life lost is years of experience, knowledge, love, and care lost. It is never just a statistic, as only ten 60 year olds dead is 600 years love and experience of life lost.

Even with this belief I feel that if the rich don't do something about the enormous amount and wealth and power they hoard, their death is more valuable than their life like how a piñata is only beneficial when it's broke open.

Making fun of someone based on a minority status only hurts the entire group of oppressed people. Making fun of someone for their appearance will do harm to people who've done nothing to you.

Hating someone for something they have no choice in isn't going to help shit. So don't do it.

You cannot only fight for one minority because you'll end up ignoring the less privileged parts of your own minority.

No one owes you an explanation to anything, you don't owe an explanation to anyone. This doesn't mean that the person is simply obligated to believe what you say.

Your worth is not dependant on how much you're able to work and produce.

No one is worth any less for needing assistance, whether it's for an hour or for life.

Now to the not morality stuff

If the people in power are going for one minority, prepare to be next.

You can be trans without having gender dysphoria (I am dysphoric btw)

NPD and ASPD don't make people inherently abusive and to hate someone solely because they have those disorders is ableism.

Narc abuse is just emotional abuse with some specific aspects. Please stop calling every abuser a narcissist or armchair diagnosing your abuser.

Having a multisexual identity other than being bi isn't biphobic

The ace and aro spectrums exist and ace and aro people shouldn't even have to deal with the question that they belong in the LGBTQ+ community or not, they do.

Intersex people are a part of the LGBTQ+ community if they want to be.

Being a bi lesbian is valid

Having an identity that seems contradictory is valid

It/its pronouns are valid (I have had them used on me in a derogatory manner btw)

I am uncertain about transandrophobia or the other commom terms for it. I believe that afab trans people can and do experience oppression because of their agab and sex characteristics (otherwise abortion rights and healthcare wouldn't be an issue for us). But at the same time I feel like trying to make a term that centers around trans men will exclude nb people who experience the same. I have also seen many transandrophobia fighters be blatantly transmisogynistic and it doesn't sit right with me.

ACAB and BLM

Basically, I'm not against transandrophobia but I'm not for it either.

To say I don't get uncomfortable with the people who are heavily against it would be a lie though.

No person is illegal

Religion is important to many people and we can address the harm it does while still respecting the help it does as well.

I'm a psychology major but recognize that the field of psychology has a major role in determining what's "abnormal" for someone to be and is usually ableist.

Queer isn't a slur, but you should still respect people who don't want it used on them. I will use "the queer community" when talking about issues because I'm an LGBTQ studies minor and that's how we usually speak.

I believe that trans men and nb people can reclaim the T slur. Mostly because reclaiming it myself has helped a lot with my internalized transphobia.

TERFs hurt trans women the most out of anyone. I usually do not say things like that but trans women are usually their main obsession. This doesn't mean that other groups aren't hurt a lot.

If you're still in the Harry Potter fandom then you're not a trans ally. You really shouldn't be putting a book series over the millions of lives being fucked over by the writer.

You will become disabled eventually. If you're ableist then I mean this as a threat.

I'll add more as they come

[bogkeep]

I think when you mourn all the things you didn't do for the aro community, you forget the things you DID do. You made many aro people chuckle on their phones and PCs, or even just smile. Many, probably, after a tough day. You gave many aros who didn't even know of it yet another small breadcrumb to find their identity. You put in so much effort already. You didn't owe anyone any of this, and yet you did that. You had a positive impact already. It's okay to rest. Someone out there read your joke and smiled, and they are carrying on that light you gave them in their own activism for the aro community.

thank you chen, it's really kind of you to say this :') and trust me, i KNOW these things. i know all this so much, i know it's not On Me to carry a community, i know i did Enough, and i've already untangled all the "BUT IF I ONLY DID MORE, WHAT IF-" patterns i have in not only this, but in all the ways i kept making myself available to everyone in every community i was part of, the way i tried to reciprocate every person who wanted to befriend me, the siren call of burning myself out on all this -

anyway that's why timian fable as a character exists

#'but SOMEONE'S gotta and IM someone' SIT DOWN. JUST THIS ONCE

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Hey, I saw that last ask about romantic/platonic/sexual/aesthetic attraction and I wanted to ask a bit about something cause I felt... Deeply called out by that ask. I've been trying to figure out the same things for the past 2 years, with a hint of aromanticism thrown in just for good measure. I won't bother you with my confusion on sexual attraction because that is just a whole other can of snakes that I'm working through myself, but I've often questioned the romantic/platonic split.

For me I think your description of platonic is true, but also everything you said in romantic is too! I'd question if I was just in love with one of them but its with all my friends. I've had crushes in the past but I sometimes wonder if I really just wanted to be better friends with people I wasn't particularly close with, because at that time I was pretty certain I was ace. I find people attractive but I can't figure out if it's only aesthetically. When I compare my friendships to the ones I see around me and it is a lot more intense than I think a lot of other people are, but also my friends are a bunch of gay theatre kids so that type of friendship was always pretty normalized for all of us.

All this to say I thought I was just ace and heteroromantic, which was already complicated enough to explain to a lot of people, but now i don't know at all if I'm ace or demi or bisexual or pan or aromantic or a fun party mix of a few. I know it's okay to never totally know, but I'm 22 and it always feels like it wouldn't be fair to try and date someone now when I'm this unsure. But I also don't know how to be sure without trying to date someone. And I also just don't know how to date someone because I don't like going out and dating apps scare me. And I don't know why this is so scary to try and talk over with my friends, but the idea terrifies me, so here I am <3

Hi, darling. Sorry it took me a bit to respond to this. I'm once again going to answer this to the best of my ability, but the things I say might be incoherent or they might not help. Sexuality and attraction are very personal experiences. Everyone had a unique story. My story is not going to match with your story, or their story, or his story. Everyone is different, and that's the beauty of it.

Also, I'm 19. I'm still figuring this shit out. Everyone is. Hell, my mother didn't come out until she was 38 and she's still figuring it out, too.

There are thousands of identities you can play with. If you think you might be on the asexual spectrum, you might want to look up greysexuality. You might think about greyromanticism. Those are both very much on the aro/ace spectrum, but could fit for you. And you could also stack identities if you think it fits better. Someone could be a demiromantic, mostly sapphic, asexual person and that's a mouthful and a lot to explain, but if that is who they are, then that is how they should feel comfortable identifying themself.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again: it is alright to just be. You don't need to put a label on something before you're ready. You don't need to put a label on something ever if you never find something that clicks. Just existing is enough. You don't owe a label to anyone unless you feel you owe one to yourself.

Age isn't a factor in this process. Keep that in mind. It does not matter if you are 22 or 92, you can still be figuring yourself out, and that's okay. It is a constant process. Sexuality is fluid and it always will be.

It isn't unfair to want a romantic or sexual relationship when you're unsure about your label. As long as you communicate with whoever you're engaging in that relationship with frequently and in a healthy way. You can always tell someone that you are unsure if you're looking for something serious, but you're open to it. The right person will come around and they'll love you regardless.

Dating apps can be anxiety provoking. Don't feel pressured to use one if you don't want to. I don't use them. My friends do, though, and they've had quite a few good experiences. Some of them even just made friends with matches that didn't work out.

All this to say: sexuality and romantic attraction are really fucking confusing. They always have been and they always will be. Take your time with it. Find people you trust and talk to them about it. Allow yourself the time to experiment with labels and relationships if that is what you want.

You don't owe anyone anything. The only person who gets to decide how and when you express your sexuality or romantic attraction is you.

this was probably incoherent. it's early. tell me if I said something confusing.

#ask #anon

[because-you-are-loved]

https://youtu.be/UNgGfkRKSIQ

To my fellow students, but especially my fellow members of the lgbtq+ community…

Please, read this post if you feel alone, misfit, hated, worthless, or anything else like it.

Hello, I am a student here at Cornerstone, and too much of my time has passed in fear of being ridiculed and attacked for my sexuality. I am an asexual gay man who came out just over a year and a half ago, and I still am not fully out of the closet. My family thrives on mocking lgbtq+ people, frequently crowning them with degrading comments and disgusting humor. That hostile environment stopped me from being willing to love and accept myself as the person I am, and that is not okay.

For so long, I denied the truth that I was gay. My church and my friends preached that gay people go to hell, and choosing to be anything but straight was an affront to God and defying His wishes for us. I did everything I possibly could to be straight, to find a girlfriend, and to live the heterosexual dream my parents so desperately want for me. Early into my sophomore year, I met someone who gently asked me about my sexuality, my wants, my hopes, my interests, and everything I had denied myself for such a long time. She helped me to question myself, deconstruct the lies I had built, and begin seeing myself for who I really am, and I owe her more than I could ever offer. She has continued supporting me unconditionally throughout this process of coming out and learning to love myself. With her help and countless hours of practice, I have gradually been learning to be okay with the person God always loved and known me to be.

It has taken me a very long time not to hate myself for having crushes on men and envisioning my future with one who loves me. Sometimes, I still hate my sexuality for making life difficult, especially as a Christian, but that is why I made this Tumblr. As I feel this cluster of emotions, I remember there is no way I am the only person who feels this way, and I want you to know how beautiful and valuable you are.

No matter if you're gay, lesbian, bi, trans, ace, aro, or any other part of the queer community, you are loved and purposeful. Psalm 139:13 famously says "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb." God has always known the real you, and the you who so desperately felt the need to hide from yourself, from your family, from the world. God created ALL OF US in His image, the imago dei, as loving, forgiving, creative, passionate creatures. You are no less of an image bearer than a straight person, or anyone else free from the burden you carry. YOU are loved. YOU are worthy. YOU are wonderfully made, and so am I. So are we all.

Cornerstone is a place whose leadership often fails to recognize the experiences of lgbtq+ individuals, aside from feeling like a personal failure and a disappointment to our Creator. Cornerstone, much like the larger church, often leaves us in the shadows. We are cast aside in favor of a more on-brand alternative. In her book, Talking Back to Purity Culture, Rachel Joy Welcher, a conservative Christian woman, criticizes the church for frequently putting the heterosexual married couples with children on a pedestal, as an aspiration and bar to reach, describing fitting in at church as being seated at a table (a common Christian motif). "The promises in purity culture," which most of us were bottle-fed, "include the majority who get married and have children. But they alienate those who don't fit into the heteronormative, nuclear family, making them the easy pick for the kid's table, with knees pushed up to the their chests, straining to hear the conversation happening in the other room" (p.68). Cornerstone, even unintentionally, can set an atmosphere whispering to lgbtq+ students they best be undetected lest they get in the way of proper Christianity.

I want you to know that is untrue. You are not disgusting, or worthless, or a mistake, or unholy. You. Are. Beautiful. And in the eyes of God, you are among the most sacred things creation has to offer, brokenness and all. You carry a story unique to you, and though others may have similar pieces, only yours happened the way it did.

I'm sorry you had to go through everything you did. I am sorry you were tagged as wrong, inadequate, failing, disappointing, or any other degrading descriptor, and I pray that whoever dehumanized you for not being straight has prepared themselves for God's response to slashing His beloved.

I won't reveal my identity (though some of you may already know who I am), but please know that I want to hug you tightly and tell you I love you. I love every part of you, and I want to know your story. I want you to have a chance to know the love God has for you, and I want you to know that no matter what anyone says to you, He will always love you. Always.

Please feel free to leave comments if you have anything you need to say or ask.

[crying-in-converse]

How did you know you were aro/ace (sorry if that's a weird question)

Thanks for asking anon! I love educating people on this!

It has been a long journey to my realization- and even now I am still figuring somethings out.

In 7th grade I thought, what if I liked men and women the same? So I decided I was bisexual. I kept with that label for a little bit until about a year later I decided I just liked men idealistically.. so that meant I was a lesbian. After a little bit, I wasn't too comfortable with that label and decided maybe I like men. What made all this realizations so hard was I had never had a crush before so I had nothing to go off of. I was just waiting for a crush to come along, I thought I was a late bloomer or my school didn't have enough options. After I decided I wasn't a lesbian I decided to be unlabeled for a bit. I already knew I was asexual since I was just realizing my bisexuality. I couldn't see my self having sex at all in the future and it definitely repulsed me. But I thought all kids my age were repulsed by the idea. I guess not.

I had heard of aromanticism before but it never crossed my mind that I could be that. I always thought that I definitely would want to be in a relationship, but I thought of it some more and I had never really had a crush before, and if I did I wasnt able to tell if it was platonic or romantic attraction in middle school.

I had been labelling myself as unlabeled for a while and I started experiencing weird attraction that I knew wasnt romantic but more a longing to get to know a person more. I was confused by that attraction for a while.

Just recently I realized that I do fit the term aromantic. And I was in denial for a really long time... mourning the fact that I may never experience the "greatest experience on earth" but I've found many people like me here on Tumblr and some of my friends even relate to these experiences.

I am still working out my identity, trying to figure out if I am actually Demi romantic or grey romantic or just aro in denial still.

I think it is very important to share my journey to realizing my sexuality because it is so unique and aroace identities need to be heard from more!

I am out to my friends as a lot of things, some of my friends still think I am bisexual or a lesbian. others still think I identify as unlabelled and some I have told I am aroace! I think its important to remember that you don't owe a coming out to any one- even if you've already come out as something you don't identify with. I don't feel like explaining to everyone my identity.

After realizing my identity I also didn't realize how much aphobia and amanormativity there is still in society- even at a school that is very excepting and welcoming to any one in the community. I have found many people who are in the queer community belittle me and my aspec friends identities. there is still a long way to go..

anyways sorry this was so long! my journey was years and years and hard to sum up in one post! lmk if you have any questions through my ask box which is always open!!

<3 <3 <3

#aroace #aspec #aro #ace #asexual #aromantic #self realization #journey #aroace journey #amanormativity

[falinefable]

Hi!!!! Temporary pin post!!

Hi hello hi, My name is Dimitri and this is my silly selfship tomblr :)) I’m quite new to the self ship community but I’ve been in the Oc x Canon game all my life so I know what I’m doing >:))))

My pronouns are He/She and I’m 20 whole years old :))) also Aro/Ace and a POC 🫰 I’m also a system!! But that’s not too important but I felt like I should mention it lol (other sys self shippers PLS interact)

This blog is 18+ btw! I most likely won’t talk about anything overtly NSFW but I’m an adult and I speak like an adult so keep that in mind! (if I follow you and ur a minor know that it wasn’t on purpose, and sometimes I just randomly follow without looking at ages. Feel free to block if I do I understand!)

My one and only romantic F/O (at the moment) is the wonderful Gilbert Beilschmidt, also known as Prussia!! He’s been a very important part of my life for a very long time and I very much owe my life to him 🙏 I am very much NOT okay with sharing (nothing personal I’ve just got brain worms) and will most likely block if u also selfship with him. I ship him with my S/I Faline :))

(If u ship him with other characters I don’t care lol I also ship him with other characters yeah my man cheats on me so what /j)

(Please note that I am very critical of his source, h*talia, and I will not be reblogging most content relating to H*talia. I just cannot help my mentol illness and the fact that my husband is from the worst show ever /lh.)

My DNI is short and sweet pls don’t interact if ur a Proshipper, a Zionist, or just a weird little freak. Also if ur a countryhumans fan I will fire up my brimstone laser and kill u. I’ll probably add to this more as I think of more but like just don’t be a deplorable freak and it’s okay 🫰

Current Tag list:

Blood Covered Roses. : main ship tag

(Pls be friends with me I’m so nice)

#selfship #self ship #selfship promo #f/o

[edgy-discourse]

hey, it’s been a hot minute. i’m only coming back for a quick second to make my current stances crystal clear, and to address a community that i’ve neglected:

ace and aro people are queer, full stop. (obvi you don’t have to identify personally as queer, but you are just as much a part of this community should you choose to be.)

transmeds have done an inexplicable amount of harm to the trans community, particularly nonbinary people and folks who use neopronouns or non-traditional terms for their gender identity. the fact is, gender is complicated, and the ways we experience and relate to it can be intricately intertwined with other parts of our identity. nowadays i don’t identify as a trans man, but rather as nonbinary, genderqueer, and maybe even a secret third thing.

this is getting long, so i’m putting the rest under a readmore.

otherkin, therians, alterhumans by any label, i don’t think i’ve properly addressed the misinformation i’ve spread, and the plain cruelty i’ve shown toward the community. i didn’t take the time to stop and just listen. when some of y’all discussed your experiences with things like species dysphoria, it was easier at the time for me to go the transmed route (really showed my roots with that one) and act like someone else’s experiences are a threat to me, rather than a part of their life that they’re being vulnerable in sharing openly. it came from a place of pain and self-denial, and that doesn’t make it any better.

it shouldn’t take being on the other side of that dynamic to try and understand someone, or at the very least respect that they know themselves best. but, for full disclosure, i do personally identify as otherkin, and it’s only been in the past year or so that i’ve allowed myself to truly accept that part of my identity, of my self. i don’t know if i’ve talked about that on this blog or not. it really was indistinguishable from allowing myself to accept that i’m trans. everything from the fear, the shame, the denial, and pushing that pain onto others in the community? it’s been the exact same.

anyways, to the broader alterhuman community, i owe you far more than an apology, and it’s well overdue. i want to apologize for my cruelty, for denying the legitimacy of your experiences, for no doubt being ableist in the process, and for making this site less safe for you, especially during a time when it’s already so difficult to find safe community spaces. from the bottom of my heart, i am sorry. i hope you’re all doing well. to say that we’re in ‘hard times’ would be an understatement. please take care of yourselves.

#og edge

[sosoane1]

Are you a sapiosexual?

No... yes? Im not really sure🤷

I've never put much thought into micro lables :/

So that means its time to over share and breakdown my attraction as precisely as i can! Under the cut because this is very long.

I generaly identify as Pan oriented aroace with a preference for woman (also i saw between sex indifferent and sex positive), but i tell people im asexual panromantic because its easier to explain and i dont owe anyone a breakdown of my sexuality.

But now ive done a bit of google and can break it down a little further:

I think i belong somewhere between Cupiosexual (doesn't have sexual attraction but does desire sexual action) and Aegosexual (someone who experience a disconnect between then and the subject of arousal). Both seem close enough to what i feel, and like i said i never put much thought into it so 🤷🤷

Im not entirely comfortable calling myself aromantic because i do feel romantic attraction but i still identify strongly with the community. Its only under the orianted aroace that ive started to realized that i might be under the aro spectrum. So i guess i identify with grayromantic (rarely feels romantic attraction) and quoiromantic (cant difference between romantic attraction and other attractions). But like i said i dont strongly identify as aromantic, i do have romantic attraction.

Okay so that was for all the stuff im not attracted to haha, for what i am attracted to which was your original question:

Sapiosexual, yes, no maybe? I mean, i like people, not they're looks but they're mind and thats the main reason i identify with the pan lable (i could just as easily identify as bi, im fine with both but i have a preference for pan for personal reasons) even though i am very strongly leaning with woman.

I have alway known that i liked woman but i have never identified with lesbian. (That maybe because im NB but 🤷🤷)

I should also mention that while i dont identifier with poly. I also can't say that i would refuse to be in a poly relationship if given the chance. I think poly relationships are very cool and i definitely see why they exist.

I dont really care about what someone has in their pants or what they look like(but i do prefer the female form(its so disturbing saying it like that)) i prefer they're personality and i need to know them to get any attraction, other then aesthetic attraction.

Answer: in conclusive, i will continue to identify as pan orianted aroace with a preference for woman who's sexpositive/sex indifferent, and tell people im asexual panromantic. But now i know that i can identify with some microlables but not particularly strongly. Hope this answers your question kind stranger.

#humm so there you have it #i dont really like to identify strongly as anything other the ace and nb #other then that i exist and if other persive me that is theyr problem #moon answers #its a strange subject that makes me uncomfortable so i forced myself to analyze it this morning #but like if i like someone i like them i dont look further at it #love is love and thats all #okay ive said enough for a morning goodbye

[dyketubbo]

goddammit now im mad over the emduo qpr discourse again. everyone owes me so much fucking money for that shit. i know i wasnt the best at wording but genuinely just fucking amazing how me going "hey i want qprs to be seen as their own form of relationship that isnt just headcanons and is its own form of shipping also i think people are weird about how they depict qprs by only ever depicting a romantic relationship but saying /p or by saying shit like 'qpps are platonic soulmates' and not going into how they can often be intimate relationships that isnt always as simple as best friends who get married also its kind of fucking weird that in its own way it contributes to pushing aside a woman whose an important figure to focus on two men and with how ppl treat that woman even outside of this its concerning me" got turned into uh.

the idea that i (an aro person) am arophobic and also against polyam people (even though i wasnt talking about polyam hcs) and also was calling people racist and fatphobic and misogynistic (people are already weird about kristins weight and i felt uncomfortable that her relationship with phil ic was being pushed away when its. canon. i know people dont think she is but she is canon shes the supposed reason a forest grew by the commune and she possessed phil once shes canon to the smp imagine if ppl said drista wasnt canon or something. and some of my discomfort came from the fact that shes a fat woc) and also was "playing the victim" and pulling "the minor card" (i was being harassed and expressed multiple times that the discourse was setting off my paranoia and making me spiral every time i got better and it was upsetting that it was mainly people in their 20s doing this to me, a 16yr old at the time)

and also i guess the idea that I thought qprs were nothing other than best friends?? (that was the entire thing i was arguing against . i wanted qprs to be treated as separate from strictly platonic and strictly romantic relationships. because they are by definition . i wanted them to be treated seriously and for people to stop calling them headcanons because it felt like it was delegitimizing that qprs are a unique kind of relationship and one thats often intimate and heavily committed)

like. auugh. sure if i could go back i would fix some of my wording but i was (and still am) a Teenager . who was uncomfortable and got pushed into spiralling to a point where i couldnt properly escape it (i was condescendedly told to go touch grass but i . Was going outside. consistently. it helped for a short while only for the drama to be shoved in my face all over again which kept setting me off and i couldnt manage to switch out + it was summer during a pandemic like. what else could i do but be online) and like. now i still have lingering trauma and for a good while it ruined techno and phil related content for me. i was terrified of that side of the fandom, only recently have i really been able to shake that off. its scary to know theres still people who think im arophobic or believe all the shit people said about me. when one of my friends tried to defend me one of the main people talking shit found their post and went on to publically talk shit about me to them and it made me. so fucking paranoid that they were tracking my name or some shit

and idk. knowing that for so many people it was just a blip of discourse to meme about and pass on is. a weird experience. that month was horrible for me. it led to me getting nauseous about even romantic shipping in the community (even now i can only really deal with strictly canon dsmp romance) and with how many issues i already had with romance repulsion and figuring out more and more about how alienated i felt from fandom spaces because of my aromanticism it was. i dont know. i still taste bile in my throat every time i think about it.

#mask mews #personal #ask to tag

[asexualfitzroy]

The aromantic agenda is a good one.

Go and think about what kinds of relationships you want. Don't think about labels like romantic or platonic or sexual, think purely about what relationships would make you happiest.

When I realized I was aromantic, I was asked things like "Would you still date? Would you have a QPR? Will you ever kiss?"

But the aromantic community didn't ask that. Instead, they focused on "What do you want in a world where anything is possible?"

And I realized I want to be alone, surrounded by friends and family I love who are close enough, I can bring them fresh baked scones when I overbake.

They asked me "What do you want?" and the question was so broad, I could weigh labels in my hand like queerplatonic partner and nonpartnering and significant other. I could look at these and shrug and say, "What I want is to not worry about questions I don't care about." I could shelve these indefinitely. Maybe even forever. And just enjoy being myself.

The aromantic community celebrates exploration. Tells people asking if they are aromantic, "This is a personal decision. Your personal decision. If this label helps you, take it. If this community helps you, stay as long as you need. You don't have to be labelled anything, aromantic or otherwise, unless it would bring you comfort. You don't have to be anything you aren't."

It's a good community with good philosophies born from a unique experience, not rooted in missing out, but in being forced to consider what you want when you don't want what's expected.

#aromantic #lgbt #arospec #aroace #i just owe the aro community so much #aro culture #aro positivity #eaves writes

[were-here-and-were-queer]

Hi! Do you have/know any resources for aroace info I’m trying to figure out my identity and I don’t know where to look to find info that actually helps me figure out a label that fits with me

Of course! I have loads of links here for you to just rummage through; some have basic aro and/or ace info, and others go deeper into labels. I hope some of these help you! Stay safe 💕

1. The Internet Is Your Friend

The internet has tons of aromantic and asexual resources, it just takes a little time to look sometimes! Here I have found for you some aspec videos, youtubers, websites, and the like!

Aspec Videos and Youtubers:

Celeste M is one of my favourite YouTubers! As well as talking about gender and sexuality, they also make videos about physical/mental health, wellbeing, and lighter topics like cooking, cosplay and tutorials. I totally recommend them!

Aaron Ansuini focuses more on transgender related subjects in his videos, but he also has some good ones on asexuality! His YouTube also covers Disability, mental health, art and animation! He's pretty awesome!

Yasmin Benoit is what a lot of people consider the "Unlikely Face of Asexuality." An aromantic asexual activist and alternative model, she promotes visibility for the aspec community and LGBT+ people of colour. A love her so much and recommend checking some of her videos out!

Sexplanations on YouTube provides an A+ video on asexuality and asexual experiences. Personally, I found this video very insightful and engaging, and definitely worth checking out. They also do a video on demisexuality!!

Jamie is a trans, autistic, LGBT+ YouTuber I really enjoy! As well as talking about queer topics, he has fashion videos, lifestyle videos, pretty funny reaction videos, and some other things. This video taught me more about asexuality, as well as providing some well needed ace memes and serotonin!

Believe it or not, there are many great TED Talks on asexuality! Having such a variety of videos opens you to different perspectives and viewpoints on asexuality. This includes Yasmin Benoit!

Asexuality: my Story of Self-exploration

Asexuals need media representation | Yasmin Benoit |

Is Sex the Glue in Our Relationships? | Gaia Steinberg |

Asexuality | Lisa Zhang |

An insight into asexuality

Exist | Danica Brown |

Other awesome aspec YouTubers and videos!

Embly

Eleanor Wilkinson

Queer As Cat (@queerascat)

HeyoDamo

ChandlerNWilson

Echo Gillette

Nik Hampshire

Kaihugstrees

That Girl With The Curl

My Aromantic Asexual Identities

What falls under the Aromantic Spectrum? | Under the Rainbow

Shaz Capade 

Debunking Asexual and Aromantic Myths

My Life As An Aromantic

Coming out as aromantic | Everything you need to know

Legit Boring #33: Being Gray Romantic + Legit Boring #27: Discovering Asexuality

5 Asexual People Explain What "Asexual" Means To Them

Asexuality: The Invisible Orientation + Aromanticism: Life Without Romantic Attraction

Everything Asexual and Aromantic. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Aspec Websites and Pages:

This isn’t a website, but it’s too good not to include! I found this comic by page artist Kotaline Jones quite a while ago, and I still go back to it! It's probably my favourite aspec comic. Each page is drawn beautifully well, and brought me much comfort and understanding. Kotaline is very talented, and I owe a lot to this.

Links to aspec pages!

explore the spectrum: guide to finding your ace community

Facts You Should Know About Aromantic People

Wiki Aromantic + Asexual (Sub-labels are easily searchable!)

Labels change, but feelings persist

Are you ready for Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week?

TREVOR SUPPORT CENTER; Asexuality

What is asexuality?

It’s time to bust myths about asexuality

Aromantic Resources

This is what asexual looks like

What Does It Mean to Be Asexual?

I’M QUEER AND ASEXUAL. IF THAT’S A PROBLEM, BY ALL MEANS, REVOKE MY MEMBERSHIP.

Other awesome aspec and LGBT+ websites!

Aropocalype.com

Aromanticguide.com

Arospecweek.org

Aromanticism.org

Asexualagenda.wordpress.com

Asexualityarchive.com

Aceweek.org

Aroacedatabase.com

Queerundifined.com

Minus18.org.au (Australian Based)

 Oulgbtq.org (Has loads of aspec resources!)

2. Connect With Others!

One of the best ways to learn is to connect with others! There's many ways to do so, and you can make friendships out of it too *looks at the other mods 👀*

Social Media

Twitter, Facebook, and other social media platforms are great ways to connect with members of the LGBT+ community! Especially here on Tumblr, which is apparently 193% more queer than any other platform, haha! There are many Ask Blogs (like us lol) dedicated to help and educate people on aromanticism and/or asexuality, but a lot of the time can just explore! There are loads of aspec bloggers and group chats that will happily befriend you!

TrevorSpace

Monitored and youth-friendly, TrevorSpace is a social networking site dedicated to LGBT+ people and allies aged 13-24. There you can create profiles and engage with different people and communities. There you can talk about more serious discussion; such as topics concerning mental health, coming out, and discrimination, and well as light-hearted topics about passions and interests. It is a great place to meet new people, and privacy/safety is taken very seriously. You can also find resources and get involved with local queer communities through TrevorSpace!

Local Communities!

If you’re able to, look into LGBT+ Spaces near you! Pride Gatherings are a fantastic way to find and engage with fellow queers! It can be quite an amazing experience to meet other LGBT+ people, and it's a great opportunity to make new relationships as well. Just remember to stay safe <3

3. Try Some On!

Labels are awesome in the fact that you don’t have to think they’re awesome! You can like em! You can despise them! You can have a love-hate relationship with them! The complexity of gender and sexuality is not as black and white as some people think, and it is 100% normal to be confused. When it comes to labels, it's all down to what you feel most comfortable with. Labels are like boxes. And you are a cat. You can force a cat to go in a particular box, but they won't like it. It will take time for the cat to choose which box, or boxes, it wants to sit in. They can change their mind later, and that's okay. The cat may even scratch up the box they really like, but they will eventually settle in. Labels are ment to make someone feel more valid and comfortable. If its not, then you can change it.

I hope this helps, if anyone has other resources, feel free to add them!

- Mod Rowan

#happy pride 🌈 #aro #aromantic #aromanticism #aromantic positivity #aromantic resources #aro resources #ace #asexual #asexuality #asexual positivity #asexual resources #ace resources #aroace #aromantic asexual #actually aroace #aspec #aspec pride #aspec resources #pride #lgbt #queer #lgbt+ #lgbtqia+ #mod rowan #let me know if something's wrong with the links and I'll fix it #cue