#i know you didn't mean this in a pushy or negative way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

utilitycaster · 1 year

Note

oh PLEASE elaborate on your thoughts about why people say Brenann's hogging the spotlight after you're back from work 👀

This is actually a very long answer, because morning me is someone with the bright sun shining behind her and a full cup or four of coffee who does not think of the consequences of her actions, so it's below a cut.

I think the first reason is something best described as cultural but in a very specific way. Like...the bulk of actual players we talk about are people who have, just by default, spent a lot of time in a handful of cities in the US where there's a significant entertainment industry presence, and for D20 they've specifically been comedians. I say this to set a particular scene: I almost never get it when people think the cast of an actual play show is angry at each other, or that people are being too pushy or that the humor is off. I suspect this might be cultural; I am from the urban Northeastern US and my mom grew up in Los Angeles and I have three siblings, and so a lot of what people clock as aggression or unkindness reads to me as simply banter or straightforwardness or decisiveness, all of which I see as very positive things. I mean obviously there is a such thing as inappropriate humor, bigotry and jokes at the expense of other groups and so forth, but most of what I see in actual play I watch/listen to is just, as NADDPod puts it, taking your friends to the raspberry patch. It's good-humored teasing. Anyway I think Brennan is very willing to engage with that banter and that decisiveness (and like, he spent a lot of formative time in New York City which I'm sure is an influence) and I think that reads to people who are uncomfortable with it as aggression.

Someone who took more linguistic anthropology or sociology than I could probably explain this better but it's just like...as a person I find the rapid-fire and heated but good natured heckling on D20, or Sam's satirical ad reads, or bold moves in any D&D game, or the arguments on NADDPod D&D court to be very normal and enjoyable, and I find hesitation and hedging and uncertainty and "are you sure?" and endless check-ins to be very negative and anxiety-inducing and draining.

With that said I don't think Brennan is particularly egregious (Evan Kelmp is the one case where I think this is a valid criticism, but even then I didn't find him an ungenerous player, merely one who by design was going to occupy a certain position) so I think that brings me to the really delicate part of this conversation.

I've mentioned this in the past but I think a lot of the actual play fandom on Tumblr suffers pretty severely from what's been labeled "the soft bigotry of low expectations." I've been vocal quite specifically when it comes to misogyny and how the agency of the women of the cast is treated as true only when convenient, because I feel that as a woman I'm able to actually speak on those terms, but I think it's true across the board. Essentially, this means that the bar is (often unconsciously) set lower, or people overly applaud, to a perhaps even condescending degree, people from minority or underrepresented groups. It is not, to be clear, having DEI programs or helping people be in something (in this case...popular actual play) in the first place and acknowledging structural inequalities that might make the path more difficult; it's instead assuming that once they get there they'll never be quite as good, or being surprised when they are. I think the most classic example is the overuse of the word "eloquent" to describe Black speakers, as it often comes with this connotation that being well-spoken is something the person providing the compliment didn't expect. You know, if you're an adult with no significant cognitive or physical disabilities and someone compliments you for tying your shoes, it's pretty fucking insulting. That's what we're talking about here.

The way this manifests in the fandom is that there's really no room to provide criticisms that are not motivated by bigotry. I'm a critic by nature, and there's a general veneer of obnoxious insistence on positivity across the board in this and many fandoms, but, as I've said many times before (and to be fair it's getting better) the pushback people receive for completely valid criticisms of Marisha is intense. I've mentioned that I've had issues with story pacing for Brennan, Matt, and Aabria as DMs at different points, and the backlash for Aabria was the strongest even though the criticism was by no means the harshest. There is a certain degree of nonstop fawning that at times occurs that doesn't actually permit engaging with characters or discussing the actual strengths of the actors, and which often wraps around into something insulting; see the "Emily, breaker of DMs" nonsense that's finally getting called out. Because it's not a compliment! Part of why Emily is such a good player is that she is immensely collaborative and makes characters who will help with party composition, and she self-identifies as a big fan of DMs, and treating her (or like, anyone) as a perfect force of nature rather than a thinking person who makes decisions, some of which are good and some of which are bad, is not praise! It's not praise to exclude someone from valid criticism; it's treating them as lesser, to do so.

For a number of reasons I am a person who is not generally stopped by this, but a lot of people understandably aren't, or are deterred even by that more general need for nothing but praise...except constant praise starts to become meaningless, and more importantly, people sometimes have negative feelings about a show! Maybe a character they liked died, or their predictions didn't come true, or their ship didn't happen, or they're just not very interested in a specific plot. But it's impossible to actually pick apart what isn't working for them, because there's this environment where, if you start asking questions, the answer might be "I don't like the choice a player who is a woman, or nonwhite, or queer, made, and how it weighs upon the story." And so, and this is where I am treading so lightly, I don't think the issue in the fandom or TTRPG is "oh the poor straight white men in D&D", because that's obviously fucking ridiculous, but I do think that if you block off any criticism of anyone else, it lands somewhere, and it's often not actually justified.

The example I actually have in mind more often is Sam Riegel. I've made some pretty harsh criticism of Sam and some of his characters in the past, but it has always been very much about his choices. But every single time I've gotten some weird (and uh...very uncomfortable, frankly) venting about Sam's sense of humor. I have never really focused on his sense of humor as the problem. I like it. I find it extremely relatable. At the risk of using the bigotry script again, Sam is, in fact, of the same ethnicity and region of the US as I am (ie, northeast US Ashkenazi Jewish) and when people act like his humor is discomfiting it's like a neon sign that to me reads "I HAVE NEVER MET SOMEONE FROM YOUR CULTURE," which on the one hand, not necessarily their fault, but on the other, does not feel great to have someone on anon venting to you while this sign is staring you in the face.

But that is a different point - my point is that I feel like there's this...seething magma of discontent sometimes, that has built up because there is an attitude that criticism is to be avoided at nearly all costs. And when it must be vented, there are only a small handful of acceptable targets (ie, the cis straight white men, although among the CR and D20 casts, Taliesin and Zac both get a decent amount of this despite Taliesin not being straight and Zac not being white), so the criticisms that come out are often excessive for the infraction (Brennan, a famously wordy guy playing a literal college of eloquence bard, turns into "Brennan is a spotlight hog" despite him being a player who is enthusiastically yes-anding everyone at the table), flat-out misdirected (my criticisms of Sam's mechanics are treated as an invitation to talk about a dislike of Sam's jokes) or just straight up bile (I am quite frankly never forgetting the somehow popular post that said Travis was too stupid to play a druid; it really was a breaking point where I said oh this positivity is all fake as hell, huh.) And eventually these criticisms become the "safe" and "accepted" ones in the fandom. Which is also bad because like, at this point, those three examples are to me just signals of someone saying "I'm not happy but it might not necessarily be at all related to this." And it is possible that someone might genuinely not enjoy Sam's sense of humor, or think Brennan is hogging the spotlight (though I disagree), but I struggle to believe them because these are just the well-worn codes, devoid of their actual meaning. I also think it's notable these all squarely blame people and not just like, "I don't vibe with this choice and no one is specifically at fault" but that's also a whole other post.

This is of course not to say that there isn't also actual bigotry within the fandom; looking at that person who freaked out about Utkarsh wearing a sweatshirt and not having an encyclopedic knowledge of the divine soul sorcerer class, or the person who called Deni$e unpleasant and abusive in the main tag, rather than simply saying their characters were not for them. Nor does it mean that you can't have criticisms of Brennan, or any of the many white guys in Actual Play, because my point is that thoughtful criticism based on what's onscreen is what I live for, and no one is exempt. But I think most if not all people saying this about Brennan are mad about something else in the Ravening War.

#answered #Anonymous #long post #cr tag

75 notes · View notes

wordsbymae · 2 years

Text

Mae's Horny Thought of The Week

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your boyfriend has been nagging you for weeks to show you off to his followers, you thought it would just be a quick hello, but he had other ideas.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pairing: streamer boyfriend x gn!reader

tw: gn!reader, pushy and toxic boyfriend, implied smut, filming, exhibition, vulgar talk, blow job mention

notes: very short but anywho, a quick gift before I disappear for two weeks. reblogs, comments and likes are very much appreciated! I don't know how streaming or twitch or whatever works soooo, also for this whole plot his followers are all 18+ , might actually make a full fic cause i love this idea.

Anyway, enjoy!

Lots of love mae xx

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While I may go on about big, beefy, strong outdoorsmen, that doesn't mean I don't have a bit of a thing for nerdy/geeky guys as well. So let's talk about it.

You've been dating your boyfriend for a while now, only just moving in together recently. You've been with your boyfriend long enough to watch his streaming followers go from double digits into the millions. He has a bit of a cult following and his followers adore him, and by extension they adore you. While you've never shown your face, you join in on his streams every now and then. You were a bit shy with his followers and are hesitant to speak during the games. But your boyfriend, ever the supportive boyfriend, would encourage you to join in more and to speak more. For a while, his followers were content with just your voice, but recently they've been a bit demanding. asking for a face reveal.

you told your boyfriend that you were uncomfortable with that, and at first, he understood. Until his followers got a bit too demanding. while not all his followers were being rude, a loud minority were threatening to unfollow him. Usually, your boyfriend wouldn't care, but when these same followers began to taunt him and questioned whether you were even his girlfriend, it caused your boyfriend to "snap" in a way.

You told him no, but he just kept asking. You didn't want your face to be shown, but he was constant in his nagging. he wasn't unkind about it, just a little bit pushy. weeks of asking and finally you accepted but only if it would be for a minute, a quick minute and then you would leave. he was a little disappointed but was happy you said yes.

the day came and you were so fucking nervous. you knew the internet could be cruel and you wanted to keep yourself far far away from that. it comforted you that his followers already had a liking for you, but what if it backfired? you were so worried about the negative, you didn't know what to do when it was overwhelmingly positive, a bit too positive

ghostfinder69: so fucking hot

fireit_up11: can't believe you kept them from us

turnipslayer02: can you blame him? wouldn't want some incel to add them to their spank bank

catterkat33: wanna fuck them so bad

ghostfinder69: make them cum on your cock or i unfollow

You tried to hide your concern and discomfort by laughing it off, hoping your boyfriend would shut it all down and tell those followers off. but they weren't the only ones, it seemed every single comment that came through was dirty and vulgar, many urging you to act like their personal cam girl/boy/person. one follower even tipped your boyfriend $50 bucks so that he would take your shirt off. you got up to leave only for your boyfriend to push you back down.

"wouldn't want to disappoint them now, would we?"

catterkat33: fuck them raw

slappteraaa: i wanna see you cum in their ass

turnipslayer02: get them to gag on your dick

1fckurm0m: look at them acting all shy, i bet they're a fucking slut

it was only meant to be a quick camo. so why were you sucking your boyfriend off in front of millions?

#dark character #dark fic #yandere fantasy #yandere drabble #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere prompts #yandere x gn reader #gn!reader yandere

162 notes · View notes

raionmimi · 1 year

Note

Someone once told me that they loathe Medb because she objectifies people, and I can't help but agree. From her creation of Cu Alter to her relationship with Skadi, and then something Fergus mentioned twice, once in the manga and once in Summer 4. But, rather than seeing this in a negative light, as the person who mentioned this, I couldn't help but find this an interesting fault because the story, for the most part, treats this as neither fully bad or completely good Because viewing it through this lens makes Skadi and her relationship uniquely realistic because, while Medb is doing it for completely warped and selfish motives, it also highlights the fact that Skadi needs a self-severing person in her life to get over her troubles and eluvates her in such a intersting manner. Or, in another situation, how she basically earns Cu alter's respect via sheer tenacity through that viewpoint but also caused the american singularity. I had these thoughts swriling around my head the past few days I couldn't help but to wonder what the biggest Medb fan would think about this.

A lot of people, including your friend, view America as a "I have you now, my pretty" scenarios from what I've seen. America plays it up that Medb "gets to have" Cu as an object of affection. Higashide specifically wanted the player to think that, so it comes off as a surprise in the reveal when Alter admits that he's fighting for Medb's wish on his own free will the whole entire time.

(TL;DR: at the bottom before the cut)

When you go back, you realize that there is a lot of foreshadowing that this was the case the whole time. Namely that Cu Alter has so much autonomy and free will for someone who is supposedly "under control." Medb never gets mad at him when he disagrees with her, and the fact that he would debate with her at all is extremely telling when she's usually pretty pushy as a person when it comes to what she thinks is the correct line of action

Both Medb and Cu have their own ideas of what it means to be a king and a hero. For Cu, we know that he doesn't care for honors and titles, but Medb had to work her ass off to get a title for her own safety and to be taken seriously by others. Cu (probably) thought he was well meaning for telling Medb that he didn't want to hurt or kill her because she was a woman, but to her, it was insulting that he wouldn't view her as a warrior when she had gone through a fuckton to get to where she was. He accepted that he was going to die in a blaze of glory, while she can't understand how he can just go throw his life away without ever properly taking her on when everyone thinks of her as the villain of his story.

So there's an obvious disconnect between the two. The fact that they DO talk about this, change each other's minds, and disagree is where the development lays. By the end of the singularity, Alter is able to recognize Medb's efforts as a queen, which was the main validation she wanted from him. Medb also arguably understands that Cu isn't how she thought he’d be that if you notice, anytime they're together, she no longer brings up how she thinks he should act. She just thinks what he does is really cool instead, so they’ve basically gotten the chance to get to know each other better and come to some sort of understanding

The only problem is that Higashide never actually addresses the issue on Cu's end. Personally, I don't really mind tooo too much because Medb's emotions is what I care more so about in the dynamic, but it still leaves a very huge "What even are his thoughts about this?" And I dont mean Alter, I mean the original Cu. It's very clear by the stark difference in how Medb talks to Alter and Cu that she thinks Cu is much colder to her than he actually is. But she also was able to talk to Alter more genuinely because with his emotions suppressed, it was like talking to someone who would never actually respond in a way that would be too overwhelming where she'd have to be on guard. But that's only a stepping stone to the actual problem.

Cu cares a great deal about Medb as a person because if he wasn't aware of her circumstances when they were alive, he does now that they're servants. He mentioned her in HA before she was even in FGO and says that a ton of bad things happened to her and she's a product of what happened to her. But he still doesn't do anything about it in a way that's actually helpful. He treats Medb like someone he feels like he has to take care of, even if she's troublesome, instead of acknowledging his own flaws that got him into the situation with her in the first place.

He still has chivalrous view of women that can be seen as patronizing like telling Medusa in Extella that he doesnt want to fight or kill women when Medusa had the clear advantage. He chooses Nero over Tamamo because Tamamo reminded him too much of Medb. He talks about how he wants to be more reliable to Medb in his voiceline, even to the point of making a promise to her that we still have NO idea what it could possibly have been about. He avoids Medb when she's up to mischief, yet when she asks for help he is immediately willing to do whatever. Even to the point that Knocknarea in LB6 is confused as to why he's so eager and willing to help her.

Cu's thoughts are a huge piece of the puzzle missing that if you don't pay attention to how he handles Medb, it comes off as one sided when it's more like two people avoiding communicating the root of a problem.

I highly doubt that his side would ever occur as the closest there has come to being critical of Cu's actions is the consequences of his thing with Fand and Emer in the Vday events with Caren and Bazett. Do agree that sometimes, other writers will just use Medb's love for him as a gag to idk fill up the spaces or something. It can be funny but if that's all she does, then ya I get the criticisms esp when their actual convos are way funnier. I have more thoughts on them, but I've already wrote so much lmao

Very cool and poggers of the manga to have Cu Alter kneeling down and accepting a kiss from her tho

TL;DR: Medb and Cu have lore to build off of + that there are flaws to be addressed. Makes the subtle growth very cool and leeway for further Medb development and complexities.

---

Putting the rest under the cut because I'm critical of the way Sakurai writes Medb and Skadi. Read if u want, but know that I'm kind of a hater so I'd rather you look at something you like instead.

Sakurai's writing with Skadi doesn't have the benefit of lore to easily play around with though. TL;DR at the bottom.

The problem is that the writers never really fleshed out Scathach that much, nor did they have the latter interact much with Medb. The whole premise of this dynamic is that Medb thinks Skadi is Scathach and she's surprised that "Scathach is acting different than she usually does" and keeps trying to get Skadi to act "like she usually does"

But Medb doesn't even really know Scathach, they hardly talked. Like ever. There's like 5 lines of dialogue from between 2018 to now between the two across the American singularity to events and voice lines. Most of the time, they don't even directly talk to each other. Unlike her thing with Alter, Medb has never come to an understanding with Scathach, nor does she really have any reason to care about her

The writing has to rely on existing character dynamics that... was hardly there to begin with makes it crumble that much faster to me personally. It'd make more sense if they had actually written a LOT of interaction with each other to the point of them influencing each other's characters, whether in a positive or negative way. But as it stands, it'd make more sense for Medb to react to the gap difference between Ushi and Taira than Scathach and Skadi because the writers chose to give more depth to Ushi and Medb as frenemies.

I was never a fan of Medb Skadi writing because it comes off as a cheap way to introduce Skadi into the Chaldea dynamics. It's nothing like Ushi or Ex and Medb, Knocknarea and Castoria's level of development, where it'd make sense. Not to mention, nothing about Skadi is remotely what Medb is interested in. If it had been the other way around, where Skadi was introduced first and then Scathach showed up, it'd make a bit more sense given who Medb usually hangs out with or talks to

Sakurai mainly utilizes Medb as a mouthpiece of how cute and uwu Skadi is rather than having any meaningful development between the two across multiple events. It just gets weird and sometimes even creepy at times, esp when you remember Higashide's Medb had never been sexual towards Alter. But Sakurai's Medb sexually harasses Skadi when Medb herself is a SA victim?? And she writes Medb as calling herself tainted in a diff event????? Even Minase treated Medb better in the Prisma Illya event. Like, I don't hate Sakurai, but she can be very hit or miss with me on certain things.

You can compare Skadi to almost any other character that Medb has interacted with, and it's severely lacking. Neither one's lore is really addressed until Skadi's interlude and even then, Medb doesn't really have much to do with it, she's just "I will lend you a Cu (caster) because I'm already holding two Cu's hands right now"

I don't mind if people like Skadi, but I just don't think Sakurai handles Medb and Skadi well together. It comes off as either shoe horned yuri bait at worst, and not knowing where to put Skadi since she didn't have much connection to any character in her LB at best that she just slapped her onto Medb for the vague Scathach connection. There is no lessons learned, no real understanding of each other, and it's just Medb doing what she wants. There's no balance or substance that I personally like

I admit that I have not read her summer event parts to know how she develops with other characters though. I'm still very :// about the transphobia with her changing Caeneus's spirit origin without his consent because she "wanted Caeneus to fit in with the other girls" which doesn't help much when she calls Caeneus tainted because of their SA in the lostbelt.

I just don't really care much for the character or the writing between her and medb, so that's why you'll hardly ever see me talk about her.

Apologies because I know you went in talking positively, but I agree with your friend on this one. It does come heavily across as objectification and one of those ships you'd meme on as "gay ship for straight ppl (with a male audience in mind specifically)" and is not treated well, so I personally ignore it.

TL;DR: I dont like Skadi writing or Medb/Skadi writing. I do not mind if other do tho, so like its just do ya own thing, yfeel?

Anyways, ship Castoria x Knocknarea

#magical college girl #critical #LONG post #VERY LONG POST #Im so sorry anon #Tumblr deleted a bunch of my paragraphs when I posted this oops is there a word limit

36 notes · View notes

uniquelyuncanny · 4 months

Text

The Hate on Hazbin Hotel

A little thing I wanted to say my piece on is, the hate on Hazbin Hotel.

First off, if the subject matter, story line, character design, or general premise of the show, doesn't appeal to you, then just don't watch it. NO ONE is forcing you to engage with a piece of media, it's your choice to do so, but please, you've got far better things to do with your time than hate watch something, or watch it purely so you can give an 'informed critique'. The second thing, a 'critique' used to mean (and I'm taking the direct definition here) a detailed analysis and assessment of something, especially a literary, philosophical, or political theory. But moreover, it's supposed to be a fair judgement, meaning you weigh BOTH the positive and the negatives of something, and deconstruct why that may be (usually including a little self analysis if you want to get extra credibility points.) A critique DOES NOT mean, I'm going shout from the rooftops about this thing that I don't like, go out of my way to spread my negative opinion on the show everywhere, and vilify anyone who disagrees or who doesn't outright agree with my opinion.

The thing here is, it's new, and the marketing team has done their very best by putting it everywhere to get people to watch it. That's their job, they wanted to expand their audience for the premiere of this new show that's been in development for around 4 years now, in the hopes of making it's launch a success. Blood sweat and tears have gone into this show whether you find it appealing or not, and it's changed a lot along the way from what it used to be, both for better or worse.

Now, I'll admit, I'm not a down in the trenches fan. I watched it, I thought the songs were nice, I enjoyed the show but I'm not overwhelmingly invested in it. But I am a fan of animation, heck I even did a degree in it cause I loved it so dang much, and what I hate is for people to claim 'bad animation' cause it 'didn't click' with them, or they think it's an eyesore/ugly.

You watched, you didn't like it? Good, now you have a better understanding of what you do and don't like, move on. Cause regardless of anything, the context for what makes something good, is typically very subjective and often agreed upon after the initial fanfare has died down.

Let those who DO enjoy it, do so without your burdensome criticism. You're not beholden to engage with something you don't want to, if you do, THAT'S ON YOU not the shows creator, not the animators, the advertisers, the voice actors, the music writers, the score composers, the spreadsheet managers, the pre-production crew, the overly pushy streaming service you're watching it on, or even the team behind Spotify marketing management. Just you. The rest, are doing their jobs, the least you can do, is let them do it in peace without making it all about you, and your negativity.

The other main 'booing' point I've seen is 'bad writing', and I'm sorry but that's so funny to me cause like, they JUST released the first season. THE FIRST SEASON. As in, hopefully, the beginning of a story. Not a complete story, more like a chapter, a starting point, a general introduction if you will, of where the development team (writers included) get to set up the ground work for the REST of the story to play out in. (While also hoping that it gets renewed so they actually have a chance to continue it). You can't KNOW that it's bad writing, cause you don't know where the story is headed or how it's planned to play out. How many shows or books, that were presented as being the first of something, have you indulged in, where after you have finished the first season or book and gone, well that was a completely satisfying experience and all the story line points were perfectly executed and made complete sense in a delightfully fascinating manner that kept me engaged with the thrilling story? Cause I know I haven't, and I'd love to have more stuff like that, (so if you genuinely have any recommendations please do send them my way).

The thing is, if you don't like the ultra brand spanking new show animated show Hazbin Hotel that's currently being talked about on social media, that's perfectly okay. Wait a month, there'll be something new for the internet to fixate on to a nauseating degree soon enough. There's nothing wrong with you if you didn't like the humor, or the characters just didn't do it for you, or the character design made it a bit chaotic to get invested in. Those are all perfectly valid points and opinions, and you are welcome to share those opinions in spaces where people have similar opinions as you. But for the love of all things good, don't spread that kind of nastiness onto people, or into spaces where people clearly do not share that opinion.

A little bit of consideration for the people who actually like and enjoy the show, especially those who worked hard to get it out to world, would be lovely, cause again, no one is forcing you to be here or indulge in this media, you're making a conscious choice to be an asshole if you deliberately spread overtly negative opinions about something to people who clearly love it. It's nasty human behavior, and is reminiscent of adolescent bullying tactics and the need to present yourself as 'cool' and 'different' simply by hating the newest 'popular' trend.

It's actually sad, boring, and overall, uninteresting discourse that I'm honestly over seeing pop up in fan spaces.

My end point is, this kind of behavior? Not new. I remember hearing and being flooded with the same discourse over, The Simpsons, Futurama, Teen Titans, Young Justice, Bojack Horseman, Cowboy Bebop, (and many others I won't waste time naming) and literally every single animated show that managed to get a chance in the spotlight over the years.

So you don't like Hazbin Hotel? Good for you, don't watch it, don't talk shit about it, leave it for those who actually like it and find something that brings you joy that you actually like to spend your limited time on earth with. It costs you nothing to be kind, and not every opinion needs to be heard by the masses, it's actually okay if you don't talk about something that's popular, I promise. Rant over.

#rant #personal #discourse #Hazbin Hotel

6 notes · View notes

lamphous · 10 months

Text

the continued trials and tribulations of working at soap store

staff meeting last night largely consisted of our extremely peppy extremely corporate manager throwing around her favorite phrases (The Five Star Customer Experience, Can I Give You Some Feedback, Thank You For Sharing That) and then everyone who's worked here more than a month saying the exact same things I have been saying for a month now and getting in trouble for while clearly none of it gets through her brain's corporatespeak filter. which is both vindicating and EXTREMELY frustrating.

like literally everything I said—that I feel like I'm being forced to be that pushy aggressive 100% high energy Salesperson, that you can't have a good customer experience when everything is empty and looks like shit, that it's better to act like a human person than again that false cheer bs, even tiny things like the way it feels we sales associates are being blamed for just fundamental issues in the business like you can't fucking demo your way into haircare increasing its percentage of sales also SOME CATEGORIES BEING ABOVE AVERAGE NECESSARILY MEANS OTHERS WILL BE BELOW ITS A PROPORTIONAL SHARE YOU CAN'T HAVE MORE THAN 100%—was echoed by EVERYONE with an ounce of sense. and yet it was SO obvious that none of it was being processed by the manager

also she mentioned a slightly negative review we got last week saying someone didn't get spoken to until they got to the back of the store and said "so we need to make sure everyone is getting greeted" and I wanted so badly to shout EVELYN THAT WAS YOU bc I KNOW WHO THAT WAS it was my old co-worker's mom, the two of them came by to visit me and also buy shit, evelyn that was YOU!!!!!!

the review even said like "the person who actually helped us was great, I wish they rang us up instead of the person who did who forgot to ask for my customer info, later found out she was the manager" like YEAH doodle's mom I KNOW

and ofc it was 15 minutes before this I had to talk to evelyn about the burnout I'd been having trying to follow all her absurd rules and eventually blurted out I'm autistic and then tried to explain how what she was asking me to do was like explicitly masking and she just nodded along without getting any of it

#so it was a fun day :)#meanwhile nya and i spent the entire train ride back bitching about everyone #txt #soap slinging

7 notes · View notes

goodmode · 1 year

Note

For the minific ask, D. Subtle kindnesses, and Razor from genshin?

[x] D. Subtle kindnesses.

this one got away from me a bit and turned into a series of people going out of their way to be nice to razor and to each other and also to klee. entirely fluff with some bonus cringe fischl

People are very nice.

They don't have to be, which at first he found confusing. The wolves would warn him of other humans in their own way, teeth flashing and voices growling their disapproval whenever people approached. He knows now that the pack is right to be cautious; he has witnessed humans being unkind to each other. To him, as well.

But for the most part, at least here in Mondstadt where they know him (or at least know of him), Razor finds that people at large tend towards kindness.

Klee brought him a book today. She pulled him towards the tree she likes, the one with the forking branches, and Razor nestled down in the little alcove between the broad roots and Klee tucked herself into his lap and they struggled through the reading of it together.

His Teacher likes it when he tells her he's been practicing. He doesn't like to practice usually, but he doesn't mind practicing with Klee. Klee tells him over and over that she loves-loves-loooves to practice with him, too. When they practice together it doesn't matter that it's a children's book - Klee can't read anything more complicated yet, either, which means reading it with her isn't embarrassing.

They make it halfway through the book when a letter falls out from between the pages. Klee scoops it up and waves it at him with so much excitement she almost hits him in the nose with the envelope, which is purple and smells strongly perfumed.

"Oh! Klee forgot! This is for you, but I forgot to give it to you! Sorry, Razor!"

He thinks this might be why it was tucked into the book instead of into her backpack. People are smart like that for Klee. They do little things for her, like they do for him sometimes. He's glad. If they didn't he would get in trouble for biting people.

"Thank you."

He tears the letter open with his teeth and pulls out the paper inside, shaking it open with the hand not tucked safely around Klee's middle.

"What does it say? Can I read?"

He thought the letter might be from his Teacher (it's purple, and it smells) and he's half right.

Dear Razor,

I discovered one of our dear friends sulking yesterday evening. It seems the two of you had a little spat! You and I know there's nothing I dislike less than to pry…

Razor struggles through the negatives for a moment, until finally reading it out loud. It makes more sense out loud. She does this sometimes: leaves little tricks in her writing for him to puzzle through. It's annoying, but he's getting quicker at figuring them out. (Klee giggles triumphantly when he does. She was struggling, too.) He moves on.

…but I think I'm allowed to be pushy if she's going to mope around in my library and take up my valuable napping time.

Do give her half a chance, Little Wolf.

Much love, Lisa

The writing changes halfway down the page. Then it changes again, from an incomprehensible series of loops and swirls and fanciful curls to a much simpler, more legible style. Razor sniffs at a suspicious-looking burn mark where the switch happens and catches the faint whiff of ozone. Likely the shift was made under duress, then.

In aggrieved address to One's venerated knight and kin in thunder

Dear Razor,

I didn't mean to make you upset. When you got angry at me I thought it was because you didn't like didn't want hated the Prinzessin thing I thought you never wanted me to speak like that again and it made me very upset as well. I didn't actually want to banish you from the realm. I just said that. I say a lot of things.

Miss Lisa told me you can't understand most of the things I say when I speak in the cadence of Immernac like that, and that's why you were getting so frustrated with me. I understand now and I must offer my most sinc I'm very sorry. I wasn't making fun of you.

I'm sorry about the messy letter as well. Miss Lisa is making me keep the crossed out parts and I am very embarrassed. PLEASE get rid of this letter after you've read it!!

Please come back to Mondstadt so I can say sorry in person. I won't get Oz to say it for me and I will buy us lunch at Good Hunter if it might cheer you up.

Sorry again, Amy

By the time Razor realises he perhaps shouldn't be reading this out loud with Klee, it's much too late. They finish the letter together, amid much giggling from Klee, and by the end Razor feels himself smiling.

"Fischl's a weird girl," Klee declares brightly. She twists in his lap to peer up at him with wide eyes. "I didn't know you two fell out with each other! Are you gonna go back now, Razor?"

Razor hums softly, pretending to think it over.

"Don't think I'm banished any more," he decides. This is a nice way of saying that the memory of snarling at Fischl from on top of an Adventurer’s Guild table doesn't feel quite so much like raw shame now. Yes, he thinks he can go back.

"Good!" Klee claps her hands. She whispers conspiratorially, as if there's anyone out here in Wolvendom to listen: "Can Klee come to Good Hunter? Miss Sara will give you free desserts if she sees you're with me!"

Razor had been feeling fairly sour before Klee showed up. The world is mostly made up of people being nice to each other, though, and a lot of news of this tends to travel to him through Klee, one way or another. He should probably pass it forward.

Huffing a sigh, Razor lets his chin rest on the top of her head and holds the letter out in front of her.

"Yes. But we can finish the book first." Klee makes a high-pitched squeaky noise that he has learned to identify as a delighted laugh. "Then you burn this writing. I think Am- I think Night Sky Princess wants it secret. Then we take Wolfhooks with us, for Knights of Favonius."

He snatches the letter higher when she grabs for it, and pats her shoulder with his other hand.

"Careful!" he insists, and then lets her take it.

Klee only singes his hair a little bit. This too is kind.

#genshin impact #razor #fischl #klee #and lisa micromanaging. gtfo her library and apologise >:0 #gmask #ask meme #gm fic #anonymous

15 notes · View notes

yanderend · 1 year

Note

got to ask, you ok? like not being pushy, but just checking if your dead/ depressed/ dying. (sorry if I'm being too pushy)

I've gotten a couple asks like this; so I want to clarify that though the idea was to come back in a couple weeks and get back into the swing of writing consistently- unfortunately, things have been rough recently and it's been difficult to push myself into writing again.

All the yans will return, I can confirm I will write here again, but it might still be a few months, or less or more, I'm not sure. I've put 'Hiatus' on the blog's bio for now.

I know this is disappointing to those who are currently invested in the characters, and me too, but I don't want to deliver half-baked stories, I want to be able to give you all some well-written concepts that I put my heart into. Sounds mushy but I'm sure some of you get it.

I appreciate the concern and know you didn't mean it in any negative way, but please don't word your asks with 'are you dying' or some version of that— if you want more specifics, want to help write for the blog yourself, or have more requests, go ahead and ask, but asking if I'm dead makes me uncomfortable; I hope you understand :(

Regardless, thanks for the ask! Despite it all I hope we can return to you soon-ish!

#The Author #anonymous

7 notes · View notes

flightfoot · 2 years

Note

Okay. I've been burying this for a while, mainly because I didn't have a place to vent, but I feel I can trust you to try and understand.

I can't be the only one with negative feelings towards Alya right? At first I loved her, she was supportive, caring and more than willing to show some sass to protect her bestie. Then the reveal happened and my opinion of her took a nose dive. I wasn't really thrilled with gang of secrets, I thought they were a bit pushy, but they were worried and I can accept that. Plus with no real clue how time passes in the show it may have been weeks after the break up with Luka and she was still withdrawn so I get why that would be more worrying then it being the next day.

No the real problem was the start of pigeon man 72 and Rocketear. One of her first lines in that episode was "I'm your best friend and a journalist, you weren't going to be able to keep a secret from me." What? It's been months! Six if you believe the movies. So that was an eye roll. Then we hit Rocketear where Alya confesses the whole thing with Rena Furtive to Nino. One week. Couldn't keep it a secret for one week. Worse she didn't even tell Marinette that she told him! I mean it's a good thing she did otherwise she would have been dust in Strike back, and I don't get why Ladybug never told Nino about the whole "she can't wear a miraculous anymore" but that's another thing.

Then I remembered the end of Animan. The girl goes from calling Nino her brother to telling him about Marinette's crush on Adrien. And still doesn't tell Marinette that she did! By the time Puppeteer 2 comes around Alya is still elbowing Nino everytime he goes to far while telling Marinette she's imagining things. Either Nino's a genius and figured it out himself or Alya's lying.

This is way longer then I meant for it to be, sorry, so I won't get into the whole Lila bit or every other little thing I noticed but I am not a fan anymore.

I definitely don't share your negative feelings towards Alya - I literally run an Alya Appreciation blog - but this is at least based on actual things that happened in the show, so I'll try to address them.

I really loved Alya and the girls in Gang of Secrets. Marinette was clearly not okay, she was crying in the bathroom stall and when she came out, pretended to be happy and okay, but it was obviously an act. And she wasn't talking to anyone about it, either. Her friends all trying to talk to her, and just wanting to know that they're there for her, that she needs to open up to someone. Marinette DID need an intervention, she wasn't coping well, and she wasn't opening up on her own. Her friends just wanted her to be okay, and given how interventionist everyone in the show is (VERY MUCH INCLUDING MARINETTE,) that involved going to try to talk to Marinette directly. In any case, I love how at the end of the episode, Alya gently told her she could talk to her if she needed it, and Marinette opened up.

One of her first lines in that episode was "I'm your best friend and a journalist, you weren't going to be able to keep a secret from me."

Is this in the French version or something? Because it wasn't in the English version for either Mr. Pigeon 72 or Rocketear.

As for Alya telling Nino that she's Rena Furtive, I actually liked that a lot. Yeah, she didn't keep it secret very long, but I'm kind of glad she didn't? Her relationship with Marinette isn't the only relationship that matters to her, or is treated as valuable by the show. And Alya was stuck between a rock and a hard place. The more people know a secret, the easier it is for it to get out... but the fewer people know it, the easier it is for misunderstandings to happen, and for the person keeping those secrets to have a breakdown. And this secret IS, first and foremost, ALYA's secret. It's about her secret identity, and she's the main one in danger if it gets out - well, her and her loved ones, as we saw in Sentibubbler.

It's not like Alya told her secret "just because", anyway. It'd helped cause the misunderstanding that led to Nino being akumatized, and yeah, while he said that he'd trust in her more after that, it still would've continued to damage their relationship if she had to keep hidden that she was still helping Ladybug.

Alya telling Nino also served to contrast her approach with Marinette's that season, with how Marinette was keeping everything secret from her own partner, Chat Noir, and the extremely detrimental effects that had on their relationship. Alya's approach was meant to be a contrast to Marinette's own, to show another path - and not necessarily a worse one, either.

As for Animan, Nino and Alya had apparently opened up to each other a lot during that stay in the zoo cage. I mean, Nino talked about being coached by Adrien. So I'm not surprised that Alya also opened up about Marinette having a crush on someone - though I'm getting the sense from the conversation that Alya might not have outright said who, but it was just easy to guess from the context - if only to try to work out what, exactly, happened.

In any case, all of this revolves around Alya's relationship with Marinette, and the assumption that she should prioritize Marinette's feelings, wishes, and not ever pushing Marinette to do anything to change a situation, even for the sake of Marinette's own happiness, and I just... can't get behind that. Alya likes and values Marinette, she's friends with her and wants her to be happy, but Marinette is not the only person who matters in her life, and nor should she be. And also just... these kids are interventionist. Which means that when Alya sees that her friends, like Marinette, are having problems, she tries to do something to help fix it. Which might not be perfect, but just leaving the situation to fester usually doesn't help things, either. And Marinette WILL leave a situation to fester, unless something forces her to see that what she's doing is untenable.

Just... I like to go at it from the mindset of "okay, picture this from Alya's perspective. Make her the main character, and Marinette be defined more as being HER best friend, rather than the other way around. How does that change things?" Because a lot of these things are the kind of stuff that's more accepted for a character, so long as they're the main protagonist, the one the story revolves around and that the audience is supposed to project onto. And logically, in-universe, there's no reason why Marinette should be given any more deference than Alya should - not outside of stuff related to being Ladybug, anyway.

I've been in this fandom since early season 3, and been reading a crapton of Miraculous fanfics since then as well. I've seen Alya made to beat Marinette up, destroy her stuff, and lead the class in terrorizing Marinette in order to give Marinette an excuse to call down whatever new friends she makes on Alya and co., having her celebrity friends publicly shame her, get her blacklisted from all future jobs, or even throw her in prison, if it's one of those "Alya assaults or poisons Marinette" fics. Even milder ones would have Alya, and the class in general, realize that apparently everything good that ever happened to them was because Marinette broke her back providing the school with all of its funding, setting up every fun field trip, and making gifts for everyone constantly with no recompense, and then ruing the day they crossed her and lost everything good in their lives, since Marinette was solely responsible for their well-being and happiness. I've seen Alya screamed at and have the things she values torn away by the people she respected the most, time and time again, on a popular and regular basis, FOR YEARS by her insanely prevalent and loud hatedom.

Any sort of thing that Alya could possibly be called out or demonized for, she has been, over and over and OVER again. There is nothing she could possibly do in the show that would in any way justify even a fraction of what has been done to her by the saltdom. I am gonna defend her whenever possible, because someone needs to.

#ask #ml fandom salt #leave alya alone challenge

17 notes · View notes

timeoverload · 10 months

Text

I can't sleep right now. The medication increase has been making me feel like shit and I am wide awake. When I increased the dosage in the past, it has been in increments of 25mg. It is just too much for me at the moment. My heart is racing and when I get up I have a tough time keeping my balance. My stomach hurts so bad and I feel feverish. I have been sort of out of it all day but it's really hitting me hard right now. I wanted to go to bed early but I'm afraid I'm going to be awake all night. I have a feeling I'm going to have a long day tomorrow.

I think what I said earlier may have offended some people. I am bad at wording things sometimes. I'm not thinking clearly.

When I was referring to people not liking me, I wasn't talking about the people reading my blog. I was thinking about other people in my life like some of the people I work with. I should have mentioned that. I know that some of them do care about me though.

I know you all care about me and I know you wouldn't be reading my posts if you didn't. I didn't mean to be rude. I am very grateful that there are people that care enough to listen to what I have to say. It truly means the world to me and has helped me more than you think. Thank you for helping me stay grounded and snap back to reality. I would probably still be having an episode if you hadn't pulled me out of it. I don't want you to feel like your efforts have been for nothing.

Also, when I was talking about not knowing what I believe in, I was just talking about religion because this experience has been confusing to me. I'm not trying to say I don't believe in something. I guess I feel like my beliefs don't fit the mold of any traditional religion. I sort of have an aversion to church and stuff because I basically got sucked into what I consider to be a cult now when I was a teenager. I'm not trying to be insensitive or insult anyone's religion or personal beliefs. I respect that. I understand that people have had different experiences than I have had. I don't know how to explain how I feel to anyone. The past few years have been crazy and I never imagined that this would happen to me but I'm glad it did. It's incredible. You have helped me learn a lot. I know all of you are looking out for me. I love you all and I appreciate everything you have done for me.

I wasn't trying to be annoying by talking about being a good person. I don't want to sound self-centered but maybe it came out that way. I am just trying to be nicer to myself and think positively. I want to get better. I don't want to be self-destructive. I think the medicine will help. I don't want to be in a dark place anymore mentally. I hurt myself this week and I don't want to do that. I know better than that but I suppose I had a moment of weakness. I have been very mean to myself and I beat myself up a lot. I have to remind myself that I still have good qualities. I want to be more confident and I don't want to be negative all the time.

Maxwell, when I said I was hoping to get stuff done around here that didn't mean that I don't want to spend time with you. I really would like to do that and I hope you feel the same way. I would put everything off to spend time with you. I have been wanting to do that for a really long time. You are my first priority and you are more important to me than anything else. I just don't want to be pushy or anything. I didn't want you to feel like you were under pressure. I'm not sure what you have planned so I don't want to jump to conclusions. I really am looking forward to seeing you regardless of what happens. You are very special to me. I'm always excited to see you and I love you with all my heart.

I apologize and I didn't intend to hurt anyone's feelings. I hope you all understand. I am going to try to get some rest now. I still hope everyone has a good week and that tomorrow is a good day.

💖💖💖

#personal

2 notes · View notes

taegularities · 1 year

Note

I really promise I don't mean this in any pushy/negative/demanding way at all even 0.0001 percent but I don't know how to word it so it doesn't sound like that 😅, have you replied to all the reviews for the latest CMI? I read it as soon as it was posted and sent you an ask all about it but i didn't know if Tumblr had ate it and was denying my Rid of the love, support, encouragement and more love that she deserves 😠

you don't sound pushy at all, this is 100% my mistake 😭 i haven't replied to everything yet, bc i didn't wanna clog the dash and then i got super busy (today was hell :')), but i'm working on doing that. i'm really sorry !! 🥺 which one was yours, love? 🤍

#you're so sweet thank you for thinking i'm worthy of all the love !!! 🥺#notes for rid 🌹#anon #fic: colour me in

2 notes · View notes

ask-ultimate-fashionista · 1 month

Note

Are you taking the news okay, Fujiko?

"If you have any questions, I'm willing to answer them now. Anything beyond this, you're going to have to talk to your dad."

Fujiko stared at her mother -- mouth agape, a whirlwind of emotions swirling in her eyes. What? Candid didn't feel like the correct way to describe... This. Thoughtless? Abrupt? Tactless? It felt so.. out of place yet not out of character for Kaori. This was a conversation she thought she had the pleasure of not having to prepare for, thinking that things were picture perfect between their little family. It wasn't defunct by any means but.. Why?

"I... You're joking, right..?" Fujiko tried to smile. She wanted to say that it was because of the time of the year. It was around April first, leaving for some of the most cruel of jokes and practicals to be left in limbo -- deciding whether or not it was a 'prank' to a coin flip. But she Kaori never looked back at her, she continued to melt holes deep into the half-eaten gelato she bought just for the sake of the occasion; with no intention of actually eating it. This felt... Silly. Taking her daughter out for ice cream, just to drop a bombshell on her to choke on. Fujiko wasn't a child but what other way could she have soften a blow like this?

"What do you mean, I--. I thought.. I thought you guys loved one another. You always seemed like you were." "I mean.. Why would you guys get a divorce? Literally at any given moment, you guys are arm-in-arm or glued at the hip."

"Well.. That's the issue. Your father is the one that's attached to me. Constantly." Fujiko watched the 'strength' it took for her mother to not roll her eyes as she spoke, matching the almost exasperated attitude she had when she spoke about her husband.

"Fujiko.. You know your father and I were Highschool sweethearts.. Your dad wasn't my first boyfriend but.. I was his first. We loved each other a lot and I think all throughout college we had been stuck in the honeymoon phase. And when I guess right around when that ended... You were born. So we never really had to focus on each other or our relationship when we were busy trying to raise you. Granted that you were an easy kid but that's besides the point."

"Okay but why are you guys getting divorced..?" Being this pushy about it made her stomach sour but she wasn't getting the answer she had been asking for.

"... Fujiko, I don't think we were great for each other to begin with. I'm not what your father needs in a woman. And he... He's a bit too much for me. At first, I didn't mind it. We were young. But it feels like your dad doesn't know what to do without me, in the negative sense. Like he doesn't actually know how to function or do anything when I'm not around. It was easy for him when you were home, because he at least knew what to do to take care of you, but outside of that.. If I'm not involved in some way. Nothing."

She didn't understand.. Why was she acting like this? Why now of all times? Her dad had always been this way. This was his way of showing love, even she recognized that.

"But-"

"We both know that your dad isn't the best with others. But I genuinely don't think he had the chance to go meet other people outside of me. And I feel like I deprived him of having any sort of relationship or friendships because he's just far too focused on me." Kaori took a deep breath, staring into the melted ooze that had been her strawberry lemon gelato.

"You have no idea how suffocating it is, Fujiko. It's not worship. It's not obsession. It's not terminally 'being in love' or whatever.. It's starting to feel like codependency. And as fucked up as it's going to sound. I don't think therapy is going to work for us.. I have my life in line and I think it's time that I move on from this. I think it's time that the both of us separate."

"But this seems like such a drastic step.. Why going to divorce so suddenly..? Why don't you think therapy would work..? I mean, we can always push dad to go out and make friends, you know he'd listen." Fujiko watched as Kaori lifted her head, breaking her gaze away from the gelato to stare endlessly out into nothing in particular. Her stare hardened as she tried to focus on her face, hoping to find some sort of sign of remorse, grief, or even if she had shed a single tear trying to come to such a decision..

"... You don't love Dad anymore.. Do you?"

#anon ask #//she's not taking it well

0 notes

shotorozu · 3 years

Note

Hi! Before anything I wanted to lyk I've read through some of your work and you've easily become one of my favorite writers :) I was wondering if you could do a bit of a comfort post? If not that's totally okay! If so, could it be hcs for Bakugo, Shinso, and maybe Aizawa (but not in like a relationship kinda way for him, like a student opening up to their teacher) telling them about being gender fluid? What would be their reactions? How would they adjust to the name change and using different pronouns? I recently told my bf and he didn't seem too up for it, eventually I told him to use my given name and she/her, kinda bummed lmao. I totally understand if you don't want to write for this, tysm either way! Have a great night/day :) (I'm so sorry this is so lengthy lmaooo)

reader coming out as gender fluid

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, shinsou hitoshi, aizawa shouta (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name, D/N = deadname] gender neutral, quirk not specific

headcanon type : hurt-comfort, fluff (x reader; platonic)

note(s) : first of all, i’m sorry about what happened with your boyfriend, if he cares about you, then he should’ve been supportive. it’s disheartening knowing that you decided to have him address you by your birth name, and by she/her. it should never be that way, especially when you felt comfortable coming out to HIM as gender fluid.

anon, i really hope this post gives you comfort, and if you want to talk— my dms are open!

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

he wasn’t so sure on why you were acting all skittish all of a sudden, and he just wished you told him what was up

as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, katsuki really hates seeing you this down— and if only he could ‘kill those pesky emotions!!’

after a long day at school, katsuki decided to demand an immediate answer, on WHY you were acting like this

you express your concern, and even though katsuki’s rough words say otherwise— he’s willing to help (as much as he could)

but he wasn’t expecting you to come out as genderfluid

the entire pronoun thing had him confused, and it wasn’t in the “huh?? why would you want that?” type of confusion

it was rather like the “i thought they/them were plural pronouns?” confusion, but don’t be misguided! a quick google search fixed it up, and now he gets it.

with the name thing,, it took him two tries for him to get it right— but he’ll treat you like royalty if he accidentally slips up. he doesn’t mean to disrespect you

out of everyone here— he would be the most confused at first, since he hasn’t had anyone come out to him in like,, ever

katsuki feels so honored to have you feel comfortable enough to come out to him.

everyone is so intimidated by his short-tempered demeanor, to the point that no one has shared such an important, and personal detail to him

he’ll pull you in for a hug, large warm hands rubbing your back— and he’s trying to be gentle, okay?

“you really thought i was gonna say some bullshit about this, huh?” was what he first said to break the silence “i could care less about what you fucking identify with, you’re still you.”

and he means it

if anyone disrespects you, he’s blowing them up into space— enraged that anyone would try to disrespect you.

katsuki’s also very quick to correct someone if they ever deadname you “IT’S Y/N, NOT D/N!”

rip to them

shinsou hitoshi

as soon as he notices that something’s wrong, his eyes will be on you— and only you.

he wishes he had some sort of mind reading quirk— he wants to know what’s on your mind, just so he could help you

hitoshi doesn’t want to be pushy, so he can only wait for you to come to him— but he will leave subtle hints that you could tell him anything that was on your mind.

so that’s when you decide to tell him your worries, and everything— feeling that you’re ready to come out to him as gender fluid

a small genuine smile will grace his face, pulling you into a loose embrace— “thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me.”

the next thing he does is ask you if you want to go by anything else— just in case you do want to be addressed differently.

you’ll still be his kitty anyway, so it’s not like this change would negatively affect him.

you’ll never catch him slipping up

i’m sure he’s probably familiar with different types of identities— so gender fluidity isn’t a stranger topic to him

so because of this, he adapts pretty easily— cooperating with the new revelations with ease

rip to anyone that has the audacity to deadname or misgender you, it’s not something he takes very lightly similar to bakugou and aizawa

he’ll understand if it’s a innocent mistake, but he still won’t be pleased with the offender— that’s strike one for him

i swear— his glare will make anyone shart their pants in a second. it’s ruthless

hitoshi won’t hesitate on using his quirk on anyone that purposely disrespects you— and for once, he doesn’t care about what others will say about him.

they shouldn’t have disrespected you 🤷‍♀️ just saying

if you wanted to buy clothes that were a lot more gender neutral, he’s perfectly fine with that too!

hitoshi doesn’t care if you strip him of every single penny and dime that was in his wallet for hoodies and sweatpants.

he just wants your happiness to be at it’s highest at all times— because a happy Y/N makes a happy hitoshi <3

aizawa shouta

even though he has to take care and supervise 23 growing teenagers, he still manages to notice if something’s wrong with one of them it’s impressive!

of course— aizawa’s a busy man, and he’s constantly tired. but, it would make him feel a lot better if all of his students were content with themselves

so seeing you down was something he noticed since the moment you came in

it’s not like he could FORCE you to tell him what was wrong, that’s not the approach he’s looking for

and besides, if you told him that everything was fine, then he couldn’t really push it. his concern didn’t really die down though

a few days later, aizawa decides to talk to you again— basically consenting you to come talk to him when the time’s right

but he didn’t see this coming

so that’s when you decide to come out to him first, spilling out your concerns, and the worries that plagued your mind— worried that people wouldn’t accept your new identity as a gender fluid person

now, aizawa has met a lot of people in his life. from different ages, people with different quirks, and of course— different identities

he asks you why you decided to tell him first, and you told him that it’s because you felt comfortable knowing he knew first

“thank you for telling me, Y/N” he thanks you calmly with a comforting hand on your shoulder “i’m proud of you.”

he asks you if you want to go by a different name, and he’ll make sure to start calling you by that name (even though he calls all of his students by their last name)

oh, and he immediately switches pronouns! i know that should be expected but,, it’s so natural wow

of course, he won’t out you to anyone if you’re not ready to come out to the rest

and because of how natural the pronouns switch is, no one notices it when aizawa started addressing you with they/them

but if you’re ready to come out, he’ll be there— silently making sure that everyone accepts you.

okay but he’ll get so defensive if anyone misgenders you or dead names you— his capture tape will start floating, and his eyes will shine red

which is weird because.. who has the guts to dead name/misgender AIZAWA SHOUTA’s student?? anyone that does that in front of him is INSANE

in short, he’s very supportive— he won’t blow it out of proportion, because he knows how uncomfortable that’d feel if he did

but he’s glad to know that you decided to share such a important detail to him— aizawa might be always tired, but he wouldn’t dare to forget such detail

you’re his student after all, he cares about you lots— if you’re content with yourself, then that’d bring him inner peace

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

398 notes · View notes

angellesword · 4 years

Text

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (11)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, ANGST, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

SERIES: CHAPTER 10 | CHAPTER 12

"You don't have to pay me, Guk."

Jeongguk shook his head instantly. Yoongi was being absurd. How could he not pay his older friend?

"I know you have the money, but I can't just take ten thousand dollars from you, hyung." The younger boy pouted his lips.

Yoongi should know by now that Jeongguk hated owing people something.

Debt of gratitude sucked. It couldn't be paid. Ever. Jeongguk didn't want that. He hated sleeping at night thinking that someone out there could manipulate his feelings—this was how he perceived debt of gratitude: a manipulation. It was because he felt like he was bound please the person who helped him. It was as though he needed to act in accordance to the likes of said person.

"Fine." Yoongi shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care about any of this. "Pay me whenever you want,"

Jeongguk snorted as your voice echoed inside his head. If you were here, you would tell Yoongi that he couldn't just tell his debtor to pay him whenever he wanted. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Civil obligations like this one was only enforceable for ten years. If Jeongguk couldn't pay within the said period, the obligation would then become a natural one—something that would only be paid out of conscience.

Jeongguk shook his head. Why was he thinking about the stupid law? Why couldn't he stop imagining your pretty smile as you talked about certain provisions? Why was he hesitating to accept his hyung's money?

And most importantly, why didn't he want to leave you now?

Your soulmate loaned thousands of dollars from Yoongi just so he could pay the down payment for the apartment that he wanted buy. He promised himself that he would terminate the lease of contract with you after four months. He just couldn't live with you anymore.

You were supposed to be temporary in his life; however, with the way you were invading his mind even though you weren't around, Jeongguk realized that you were his constant.

You were the only person who could tolerate his bratty attitude. You were the only person who couldn't get mad at him. You were the only person who made him feel special and needy—Jeon Jeongguk needed your attention so much that he felt like had to run.

He didn't know when it started, especially because he believed he was not over Red yet.

Red.

Was Red the reason why Jeongguk wanted to leave you?

This was what you thought while clutching the paper on your chest.

It hurt, but as usual you had to pretend like you were okay.

"Your parents are back in their hotel," said by Jeongguk the moment he entered your apartment.

He was back from the thirty-minute drive.

Your parents were scheduled to fly to Jeju Island tomorrow morning.

"That's good." You discreetly wiped your tears away, trying so hard to make your tone sound enthusiastic.

Your back was facing him since you were afraid to let him see you crying.

You didn't want to pester Jeongguk regarding his plan to leave. You felt like he wouldn't appreciate the drama you would obviously bring.

Jeongguk didn't deserve drama—not when it was clear that he was exhausted. He took care of you these past weeks. The only thing you could do was to give him a damn break even if it meant sleepless night as questions like 'why am I not enough?' clouded your mind.

"Thanks, Jeongguk. Goodnight!" You hastily added, refusing to look at him as you made your way to your room.

"Wait," he stopped you like the way he did earlier today. This time, however, he stopped you by breaking your heart even more.

"C-Can I sleep in your room tonight?" Jeongguk swallowed the lump in his throat; his heart was beating so fast.

You flinched.

How dare he ask something so insensitive?

"Why?" Your lips trembled as you finally found the courage to look at him. It was a wrong move, though. You couldn't do it. You couldn't look at him without tears filling your eyes.

Looking at Jeon Jeongguk made you realize what you could never have: him.

You were grateful he's averting your gaze. Jeongguk couldn't meet your eyes as well. He was embarrassed and afraid. What if you rejected him? He didn't have any reason to cuddle with you tonight. Jimin was right. Your parents were the solution to help you get back on your feet. It was as though they had some kind of power. You didn't look like you needed your soulmate to make you feel better anymore.

You were back to your old self.

Sadly Jeongguk had no idea that you were just pretending. He didn't know that you were forced to be okay once again. He wasn't even aware that he was one of the reasons why you're acting like everything was fine.

"I just want to make sure you're alright," his voice was barely audible.

Jeon Jeongguk was a liar. The truth was you weren't the only one getting used to cuddling with each other. Jeongguk was also craving to embrace you—to listen to your controlled breathing and raging heartbeat.

"Really?" You suddenly huffed, causing Jeongguk to flick his gaze at you.

Your soulmate was a good liar, you were not.

There's a point where pain was too much to handle.

Jeongguk was staring at you with puzzled expression. His mouth went agape upon seeing the tears streaming down your face.

"You want to make sure I'm okay so you can finally leave?"

"What?" He furrowed his brow, clearly not understanding the words you just said. How could he focus on anything when all he could see was your tears?

Jeongguk wanted to wipe your stupid tears, but you weren't letting him.

You took three steps backwards when he tried to reach for your face.

Anger, frustration, and pain. All of these are visible in your eyes. Your thoughts were poisoning your mind—making you imagine what you thought Jeongguk felt.

"You...called my parents b'cause you're t-tired of me, right?" You slurred.

You wanted to run to your room since you knew you couldn't stop speaking your thoughts anymore. This wasn't right. You told yourself you weren't going to make this hard for your soulmate, so why couldn't he do the same thing for you?

Why was he cornering you? Why couldn't he just go away?

And why couldn't you stop the venom in your words?

"You don't want to deal with me anymore. You want to leave but you're guilty. You feel like you are responsible for my pain," this must be it. You kept thinking what triggered his sudden change of behavior. It couldn't be because he finally realized that he liked you too.

No. That couldn't be right. The only plausible explanation for this was because of the guilt he felt. He only started to act like he cared when you told him that he hurt you too.

"That's not true..." But Jeongguk was quick to dismiss the negative thoughts inside your head.

You inhaled deeply. Fresh tears stained your cheeks.

"What's the truth, then?" You picked up the paper that would prove his intention to leave.

It was too late to stop now. You were already acting pathetic in front of him.

"Why didn't you tell me you bought an apartment?" You continued to ask despite knowing the reason.

You didn't. You were imagining things. What you think was different from what Jeongguk felt. Admittedly, his eyes widened. He wasn't expecting you to confront him about this. Hell. You weren't even supposed to find out this way.

Jeongguk was planning to simply sign the contract to terminate your lease agreement with him, leave your apartment in the middle of the night and never come back.

Guess he couldn't do it now, huh?

"I-I," he trailed off instantly. How could he explain this to you when he himself didn't know why he wanted to leave?

Jeongguk wished it was easy to face his emotions. He identified them, but he still didn't know what to do—not even after spending weeks cuddling with you.

He needed to be alone, he needed to figure out what he felt and what this all meant to him on his own.

"Is it me, Gukkie?" You sobbed and your soulmate's heart clenched.

Your back was against the wall, Jeongguk was standing so close to you to the point that he could literally see the tears forming in your eyes.

It broke him more.

"Did I cross the line? Am I being too pushy? Annoying? Hard do deal with?"

Jeongguk could only bite his bottom lip.

You proceeded to list the things your former maids despised about you.

"Is Miri too much too handle? Am I picky with the food? Is it hard to wake me up in the morning?"

Jeongguk avoided your eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.

You noticed that he couldn't speak. Why? Was it difficult to admit the truth?

"Or am I not buying you enough things?"

The conflicted boy shook his head vigorously. You did not understand anything.

"Do you need a new laptop? New clothes? Art materials?" You sounded so desperate. "Tell me, Gukkie. I'll do anything you want."

"I don't need you to do anything." He said coldly as he moved away from you.

Pain attacked your chest when you saw indifference dancing in his face.

"You're still leaving me?" You quivered in fear. You were really pathetic. You said to yourself that you wanted him to go away, but the thought of him actually leaving made your stomach turn upside down.

"Yes."

It felt like an arrow shot you in the heart.

How could he not stutter? Was he really decided to leave you?

Jeongguk saw how his answer affected you, so he immediately defended himself.

"I mean it's about right. I told you I'm gonna stay here for a few months. It's over now. I don't want to be your tenant anymore."

"But why!" You whined. This wasn't fair! How could he decide without consulting you first? This was a reciprocal obligation. You deserved to know his reasons.

Jeongguk scowled. He wanted to leave now. It was getting unbearable to see you cry—it was as though his chest was going to explode.

"Do I really need a reason?" His frown deepened. "Can't I just leave because I don't want to be with you anymore?" A lie.

"You're lying." You refused to believe him even if you knew he was telling the truth. This wasn't you. You weren't like this. It was unlike of you to keep pushing Jeongguk. You teased him all the time, but you didn't mean to make him uncomfortable. His happiness was your top priority.

You swore you just wanted to know the truth. You deserved a reasonable explanation. He couldn't just say he didn't want to be with you. If he couldn't love you, then he should at least be able to respect you like a normal person.

"Why would I lie—"

"Because I'm your soulmate!" You cut him off. Your emotions were overflowing.

Why couldn't you just let him go?

"And I love you, Jeongguk." You cried. The table had turned. Just a few breaths ago, he was the one begging to touch you. Right now, however, it was you who was desperately trying to latch on him.

Jeongguk pushed your hand away. He couldn't have you touching him. It would only make it harder for him to leave.

"I love you so please don't leave me—"

"You don't." He cut you off, flinching so hard because of how much he hated your confession. He felt like he was gonna puke.

"I do, Guk. I love you—"

"No!" Jeongguk insisted otherwise. He was being stubborn and it was irritating you.

Who did he think he was to tell you what you felt?

"You don't love me, okay!? You are wrong in all of this!" He took a step back. He was acting as if your touch was going to burn him.

"You are delusional. Too caught up with the idea of soulmate that you failed to see the truth!"

Jeongguk was shaking in frustration. He hated that he had to be mean just to make you understand things—similar to what Red did.

"I can see the truth! I know the truth!" You carried on.

He was the one being blinded here, not you.

"You're just ignoring the signs, Jeongguk. The universe wants us to be together!"

This wasn't a coincidence. You couldn't be wrong—not when he could see colors because of the love you felt for him.

But he used this against you.

"I am not your soulmate." His jaw clenched. "Your eyes can tell."

You stopped breathing.

"Your eyes tell." He repeated.

Your mouth felt dry.

It felt like you had been stabbed straight in the heart.

If he was your soulmate, if he ever loved you—or cared, you would see colors by now.

But no.

You still see in black and white.

Your eyes would not lie because Jeon Jeongguk was right....

Your Eyes Tell.

#jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #ficswithluv #jungkook enemies to lovers #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #bts fic #jungkook roommate au #jungkook fantasy au #jungkook e2l #jungkook friends to lovers #jungkook soulmate #jungkook soulmate au #your eyes tell #jungkook your eyes tell #jungkook sugar baby au #jeon jungkook

753 notes · View notes