#i love how the internet has created Magic Words Of Power

[marypsue]

So if you follow me (and aren't just stopping by because you saw one of my funney viralposts), you probably know that I've been writing a bunch of fanfiction for Stranger Things, which is set in rural Indiana in the early- to mid-eighties. I've been working on an AU where (among other things) Robin, a character confirmed queer in canon, gets integrated into a friend group made up of a number of main characters. And I got a comment that has been following me around in the back of my mind for a while. Amidst fairly usual talk about the show and the AU and what happens next, the commenter asked, apparently in genuine confusion, "why wouldn't Robin just come out to the rest of the group yet? They would be okay with it."

I did kind of assume, for a second or two, that this was a classic case of somebody confusing what the character knows with what the author/audience knows. But the more I think about it, the more I feel like it embodies a real generational shift in thinking that I hadn't even managed to fully comprehend until this comment threw it into sharp perspective.

Because, my knee-jerk reaction was to reply to the comment, "She hasn't come out to these people she's only sort-of known for less than a year because it's rural Indiana. In the nineteen-eighties." and let that speak for itself. Because for me and my peers, that would speak for itself. That would be an easy and obvious leap of logic. Because I grew up in a world where you assumed, until proven otherwise, that the general society and everyone around you was homophobic. That it was unsafe to be known to be queer, and to deliberately out yourself required intention and forethought and courage, because you would get negative reactions and you had to be prepared for the fallout. Not from everybody! There were always exceptions! But they were exceptions. And this wasn't something you consciously decided, it wasn't an individual choice, it wasn't an individual response to trauma, it wasn't individual. It was everybody. It was baked in, and you didn't question it because it was so inherently, demonstrably obvious. It was Just The Way The World Is. Everybody can safely be assumed to be homophobic until proven otherwise.

And what this comment really clarified for me, but I've seen in a million tiny clashing assumptions and disconnects and confusions I've run into with The Kids These Days, is that a lot of them have grown up into a world that is...the opposite. There are a lot of queer kids out there who are assuming, by default, that everybody is not homophobic, until proven otherwise. And by and large, the world is not punishing them harshly for making that assumption, the way it once would have.

The whole entire world I knew changed, somehow, very slowly and then all at once. And yes, it does make me feel like a complete space alien just arrived to Earth some days. But also, it makes me feel very hopeful. This is what we wanted for ourselves when we were young and raw and angrily shoving ourselves in everyone's faces to dare them to prove themselves the exception, and this is what I want for The Kids These Days.

(But also please, please, Kids These Days, do try to remember that it has only been this way since extremely recently, and no it is not crazy or pathetic or irrational or whatever to still want to protect yourself and be choosy about who you share important parts of yourself with.)

#also Kids These Days please if nobody's told you: you can't send cheques through email #and if somebody sends you one through email They Are A Scammer and Yes They Are Scamming You #that's not related I just am constantly tearing my hair out about how many people of ALL AGES don't know that #something something something invoking the fuck word in the hopes it will keep this poast from search #i love how the internet has created Magic Words Of Power #unfortunately most of those words perform the action of 'summon jackass idiots to comment on your post' #i am paraphrasing the comment that was left on my AU fic because I am too lazy to go looking for it right now but #it was very similar to that wording #this is just a thing that has been rattling around in my brain and it was finally smoothed out and polished enough to come out

[doctornolonger]

People are sometimes surprised when I mention that the unproduced story I regret the most isn't any of the many cancelled FP projects but Steven Hall's Fifty-Fifty, which would have wrapped up some of Big Finish's best character arcs with a conflict between the Seventh and Eighth Doctors at "the moment where 7 went bad".

It would have been the retroactive pinnacle of Wilderness Years, taking its two Doctors with such different characterizations and pitting them against each other. It also … doesn't make a ton of sense. Even taking into account the timey-wimey memory effects of a multi-Doctor event, how could such a dramatic character arc for the Seventh Doctor possibly come and go without the Eighth Doctor – his future self – having any idea?

This question keeps coming up in Doctor Who, and every time the answer feels contrived. Steven Hall would have solved it for Fifty-Fifty by introducing a "Temporal Wish" that allows parts of history to be rewritten without timeline damage. Elsewhere, Big Finish has resorted to hand-waving: every story where characters meet out-of-order has to involve an ad hoc disguise, a memory wipe, or a promise from one of the characters that next time they'll pretend not to have met (🥴). And don't even get me started on "season 6b"!

In what Ingiga cleverly calls Doctor Who: The Return, RTD faced the same question. What if we had more Tenth Doctor stories, not squeezed into any of the well-trodden gaps in his timeline but set after The End of Time – genuinely new stories, taking the character places that it never would've made sense for him to go (such as therapy)?

RTD answered this question twice. Once the regular way, the ad hoc way: David Tennant's contrived return at the end of The Power of the Doctor. And then, emboldened by the Power of the Showrunner, he solved it again – and he solved it for every story, now and forever.

I think down the timeline, they all separated. They all went like that. All the Doctors came back to life with their individual TARDISes. The gift of the Toymaker. And they're all out there traveling around in what I'm calling the Doctorverse. It's the Doctorverse. And I want to create a future in which Sylvester McCoy, he can survive and have an adventure. Because one of the things about The Star Beast is, to get you back and Catherine, we had to jump through so many hoops. Which is great story, but it's like, why can't you just arrive and step out the TARDIS? […] Because this is exactly what Big Finish does. It's exactly what everyone does in their imagination. […] It's time to just kind of open it up and say, they're all out there now.

Or as he put it a different time,

Doctors galore, with infinite possibilities. All Doctors exist. All stories are true.

Gig's latest piece rightly dismisses the "Flowchart" theory of bigeneration, but frankly, I think the fiddly stuff about "fix" vs "fixed" etc. is a red herring. The simple fact is that if Fourteen's post-Giggle memories flow backwards into Fifteen – if Seven's post-TV Movie memories flow backwards into Eight – bigeneration wouldn't solve the Fifty-Fifty problem.

Yes, RTD tries to have his cake and eat it too. In the dream logic of The Giggle, "emotional healing" is a mysterious essence that can be transferred through time independently of memories, just as incinerated roads can magically heal themselves in The Star Beast. But in terms of what RTD's trying to accomplish, in terms of what bigeneration is, I think it's okay to take him at his word.

Speaking of words, the leak called it "bi-regeneration", and even after the episode aired, much of the internet followed suit. But that's not what it's called. It's just bigeneration: not a type of regeneration, an alternative. And indeed, now we have this option – now we have Fourteen, not just Ten – why would we ever go back to playing the timeline-squeezing game? If Big Finish officially untethered itself from the past Doctors' timelines and, say, freed Eight from his interminable death march – would anyone miss it?

Lawrence Miles certainly didn't think so when he advocated a similar untethering 24 years ago.

When you watched Doctor Who as a kid, it kind of lost some of its edge from the start, because you knew for a fact how things were going to turn out. […] I've always felt that the Missing Adventures… or PDAs, or whatever you want to call them… have got a similar problem. The Doctor can't die [or go to therapy – n8.] We know the future, it's not even an issue. That was why I did what I did in Interference. Even if they don't like it, I hope people realize there's a purpose behind it all. It's suppose to justify the existence of the PDAs. From that point on, you can never be sure what the outcome's going to be.

Nobody picked up his suggestion back then, but then again, Miles lacked the Power of the Showrunner. If Tales of the TARDIS' therapeutic dreamscapes are any indication, it won't be long before other writers adopt RTD's in-vision musings as gospel.

So what will happen when Fourteen dies? Will he regenerate? Will he dissolve into sparkles, his ✨emotional healing✨ shooting back in time to become Fifteen? Or like the prior iteration of the "Tenth Doctor happy ending offshoot" idea, is he simply mortal now? The frank answer is that we'll probably never find out: that's simply not the kind of story that bigeneration is meant to tell.

Or maybe RTD's already told us. The quote earlier about "Doctors galore" came from the note accompanying his "Doctor Who and the Time War". That story shows us an Eighth Doctor who survived to the very last days of the Time War, with no War Doctor to be found; it's easy to imagine a bigeneration on Karn not unlike RTD's speculation that "Peter Davison once was left behind on the surface of Androzani and woke up and there was a TARDIS and he carried on having those adventures."

And in the story – released almost seven years after The Night of the Doctor showed us the birth of the War Doctor – Eight struggles, and he succumbs, and he regenerates … into Christopher Eccleston's Nine. Now there's a flowchart that I could get behind.

#bigeneration #the giggle #fourteenth doctor #fifteenth doctor #ingiga #gigawho #rtd 2.0 #doctor who the return #effortpost #doctor who and the time war #interference #fifty-fifty #50/50 #steven hall #seventh doctor #tales of the tardis

[polarisbibliotheque]

Writing Advice - Answering an Ask part 1

Hey everyone!! I recently got a super cute, beautiful and heartwarming ask requesting writing advices/how to beat writers block.

I wrote the answer on a doc and it has 3 pages, so I'm gonna be posting it in different parts - do forgive and AMAZING ANON WHO ASKED ME I HOPE YOU SEE THIS, IT'S PART OF YOUR ANSWER xD

Seriously, I've been sitting on this answer for a week now thinking how I'm gonna make it shorter >.<

So, without further ado, for the first part of the answer, I wanna tell a little bit about my writing journey - how I got from "not writing at all" to where I am now.

Because people think that you have a gift and words just flow like ambrosia in the cups of the gods - but I've actually started writing some pretty cringe stuff when I was 10 years old to get to a more poetic sort-of writing during my 29s currently.

THEREFORE, a little bit on how I got from cringy to still cringy but sometimes good writing ;)

I started by telling made-up stories to my sister when she couldn’t sleep and to my cousins during sleepovers because, I don’t know, they seemed to like my stupid little stories when I was 7 years old – or even younger. Sometimes I wrote some things, sometimes I didn't. But I was telling stories!

When I was 13, I discovered the magic world of fanfiction, and I wrote and published a HORRID thing on a fanfic website in my country, based on the band McFly that me and my sister adored back then (the gods have graced me with the power of deleting it and I thank immensely to that).

It was the first time I wrote AND published something to an audience outside of my friends/family.

After that, I kept on writing, and I moved to creating my own stories. When I was 14, I wrote a fanfic with the same band, but really the main theme was that I was an archeologist living in Egypt who researched on Atlantis and ended up finding the lost city. Somehow, I was allowed to climb the pyramids as well - because, you know, I ADORE Tomb Raider, and if Lara Croft could do it, so could I.

Told ya there would be some pretty cringy stuff in here, huh? xD

When I turned 15, I was bullied non-stop at school and so creating stories became my way to escape reality and have some fun with the people I wanted to meet in my life. I started carrying a notebook everywhere with me – it was my writing notebook. I had so many stories, and I never finished any of them (and good heavens, they are THE MOST cringy stuff, I’m glad they will NEVER see the light of day).

But I use the writing notebook thing to this day - whenever I'm travelling and internet isn't granted, I have somewhere to write.

I finished my FIRST novel when I was 16!! I was SO HAPPY about it!! It took me a year and a half writing it: a young adult book, kinda like Twilight (it was THE thing back then), with a secret society based on Arthurian Legend because I was a sucker for everything King Arthur (still am).

I can’t BEAR to read the first page of it nowadays, because c’mon. It was 15-year-old depressive me being bitter about everything and post-Twilight frenzy. The universe and worldbuilding has one HELL of a potential, but oh LORDS, it IS painful to read. I was a teen after all… But I finished a novel! If I haven’t done it, I wouldn’t be writing the way I’m writing today!

When I got into Law School, things got a little slow. I couldn't focus too much on writing and my social life improved a lot. I started tweaking my Arthurian story, but nothing too defined - I kept on writing lots of WIPs, though.

Around my 20’s, while I was close to graduating Law School, I started writing again… Supernatural fanfiction. With the SOLE PURPOSE of self-indulging, because I couldn’t find A SINGLE fanfiction that I could self-insert and love Dean Winchester while kicking some demon ass (sorry, I couldn’t resist the Nico inside me).

That led me to writing a 4-part Supernatural fanfiction that, honestly, for the next 6 years, it was the thing that made my heart soar while I was slaving away at a job I hated.

While I was overworking my ass off, I started writing (brace yourselves...) BTS fanfiction. I got into the band and some people from the website I wrote my Supernatural fanfic embraced me and kinda put me in the group and into the BTS world.

I was on the path of a burnout, so that became my escape - the girls from the website were so nice and we had many MANY writing projects of short stories. Throughout the years, I think I wrote around 25 or 30 stories, 40 pages max, to publish on this website and just have fun.

It started nice, but as time went by and I started moving out of the rom-com clichés (which are nice, don't get me wrong, we all love 'em) and became more existential and philosophic with a lot of metaphorical things while writing - and people stopped reading my work. I started to think I was bad, no one wanted to read because I lacked quality in my writing, or just my stories weren't so appealing as I thought. So I lost my will to write and slowly went back to my personal original stories.

When I hit 25 years old, I got fired and had a full burnout. I got really sick and my life literally stopped for the last 5 years - it has been hard, but that gave me time to sit back on my computer and recover ALL the books and stories I never finished writing.

I am NOT joking, I just counted all of them, and I have 65 DIFFERENT unfinished stories sitting on my Word folder right now on my computer. I also have a txt file I keep some “ideas that might be interesting to work on” and those have around 12 different full ideas of stories I might never write as well.

Upon hitting 27, I went back to writing niche fanfiction I didn't think anyone would want to read, so I published it here. I thought no one would want to read Devil May Cry fanfiction written by a woman who clearly worries more about the internal turmoil of characters rather than if what I'm writing is cute/rom-com like.

I opted for a more adult approach - given Dante and Vergil are adult men with lots of traumas, and I thought "hey, I don't have to write teenage things anymore, I can actually write how two adults would have difficult conversations and relationships in this fucked up world of ours" and that made a HUGE difference to my writing.

and once again thank the gods I found my people who like to read this sort of stuff :)

For quite a while, I was worried if what I was writing was consumable - you know, if the romance was that kind of tacky romantic thing to sweep you of your feet with perfect characters who don't exist, if people only have good times and are always laughing and having fun, if people enjoy touching each other 24/7 and being romantic and all that sugar coated stuff, if what I'm writing is politically correct, if it hasn't any subjects that are triggering or "wrong" in any sort of capacity... And that stiffed me. I lost my will to write and I stopped enjoying it, because I couldn't get my ideas out anymore.

Being quite honest, I'm not a person who had an easy, beautiful life. I had many things happen to me that made me understand Vergil on a soul level (and I think that's why I'm so comfortable writing him, as much as I hate that man), because I'm wary of people and my trust issues make me keep everyone at bay. I can only put my feelings safely out on my writing and my music, and I wasn't being able to.

So I tossed everything out of the window and started writing unhinged stuff. And oh, that made me feel SO good! I always smile a lot when re-reading my Cyberpunk-style story and a character called Abby tattoos on the ass of a corporate man that he is hers bitch, and when a "fallen angel" from my vampiric story smiles creepily and tells everyone she's got the most unhinged vampire on a leash and tells him to just kill everyone in the room for sheer revenge.

Not the best, politically correct stuff. Very wrong, by the way. But I had so much fun writing them, and it has so much character building behind these actions, it makes me feel nice :)

Out of all the 65 WIPs on my computer, I have around 5 that I think are really worth it for a full novel and so. They are:

My Arthurian Legend based novels. I outlined a series, I made character sheets, I planned and planned and planned... Since I'm 15, I've been thinking about it. Someday, who knows, this story will see the light of day.

My Cyberpunk-style novel. Halfway through it and every time I go "oh this is too heavy, I can't write this" I just toss the thought out of the window and go for it. Quite unhinged, very existential and grim, everyone is depressed and traumatized, but I love it :)

The Angel-Vampire stuff. Or, as I call it sometimes, the trip of an angel-like being going through the 7 deadly sins until finally falling for good, all aided by the most unhinged vampire in town. It's more like a villain origin story than anything else.

The Tea Shop thing. Oh, this one has been on my mind since 2018 and only now I've found some plot I like for it. Creation (yes, humanized form of creation) runs a tea shop and everything is fine until a woman enters and she has no Universe inside her eyes - and that is something to be afraid of. Doesn't make sense? Oh, yes, indeed. I'm going crazy with the concepts on this one, thanks to Neil Gaiman and The Sandman.

The rockstar guardian angel one. That's it. It's literally what the premise says: a woman has a dead rockstar as a guardian angel - and they couldn't be more opposite of each other. It doesn't help she's investigating his death and can talk to ghosts.

And my original vampire story, which I just call Nathan and Kathleen. I started this one when I was 16 or 17, so the writing is VERY cringy. I had just seen The Witcher 2 gameplay and, by then, I had never seen anything like it. As it's expected, I'm re-writing the 150 pages of unfinished work I already have.

Will this stop me from writing the other WIPs whenever I want to? Nah. I’ll keep on writing. Even if they are bad or horribly cringy.

Why am I blabbering about ALL this???

Because the most important stuff you can do is write.

You see, I didn't start out writing the way I do today - and I have so many stories, with so many pages, that I like so much, but I read it nowadays and I see I need to re-work them. And that's how you evolve! That's how you get better! By refining your abilities!

This is something I learned with the rockstars I love so much. None of them started out by playing perfectly - most of them had to sit down, listen and learn their instruments on their own. They got a LOT of things wrong to start getting something very simple right. And the more they play, the more they train, the more they refine, the better they become.

The same goes to writing - so, keep on writing! Everything you can, as much as you can, don’t feel bad about starting something new and never finishing another one, and don’t feel like you need to put out a masterpiece every time you sit to write.

Sometimes you just need to… Write.

#polaris speaks #writing advice #writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writing journey #answered asks #asks #anon ask #thank you all for coming to my TED Talk HAHAHAHAHA #like I said this is only the FIRST part of the answer #It's the context for the actual tips and tricks xD #but I felt like people need to hear this #and understand that no one starts writing like Shakespeare on a year #it takes time #a LOT of time #and sometimes you still think what you write isn't that good but alas #next ones will be more objective (I hope) #like I said before I understand Vergil pretty well #and I tell ya ask that man about books and poems #you'll NEVER get him to shut up #so it's basically the same with me #ask me about writing and books and BOOM now I'm talking xD

[spicyicymeloncat]

talk/doodle about hatsune miku for the art/opinions thing

Hatsune Miku???

Oh wow… my favourite Ninjago character… ig I can work with this…

Happy belated birthday Hatsune Miku

Hatsune miku is a vocaloid (a vocal synthesiser) created by Crypton Future Media and she is used to sing (and feature as a character) in songs (usually in Japanese) created by various artists that own her software. She is a widespread internet sensation, globally famous making cameos in various other mediums, like comics, anime and lady gaga concerts.

If you’d rather not delve in the horrors of EC (which is murder and everything that’s worse than murder) then just skip this paragraph. Miku tends to be given character of a sentient doll constantly in an existential crisis and severe daddy issues. One of her roles is Maria Moonlit (which could be counted as her first appearance (or her last), if we’re counting song wise in chronological order. Idk? who’s counting amirite?). Maria Moonlit is an orphan born near the beginning of time, got struck by lightning and chosen to be the prophet and figure head to a technologically advanced medieval civilisation. She supposedly had the power to hear the voices of the gods who claimed to be her parents. However, the gods were evil and trapped somewhere and wanted to be born into human vessels, so she made up a lie to trick the people into starting a project to create magic twin babies to house the gods. This turns into an incredibly convoluted science experiment which involved serial killers, cloning, incest????, the government being overthrown, dragons and the entire city exploding and all technology being lost as the world is thrust into the dark ages. Maria lives the sad life of wondering who she is and wondering whether she’s just been used like a plaything to the gods, and technically she was, because she was a doll wound up like clockwork to repeat her miserable life forever (literally, there’s time travel shanigannery). We can assume she’s a doll because she’s the reincarnation of one that has been sent back in time. Okay Ik that was entirely crazy but that’s only the first part of evillious. Miku’s two most prominent parts in the series however, is trans lesbian servant girl Michaela, who got assassinated in the name of a jealous betrothed of a man with a one sided crush on her and became a tree - and licensed doctor by day, drug supplier mafia member by night, Margarita, who is unable to sleep because she’s secretly a doll and her husband only married her because she was rich and he likes gambling and sleeping around, so she released an airborne toxin killing a whole town whilst calling herself the sleep princess. The first girl, Michaela, is part of the more well known section of the series, the story of evil. She was originally a tree spirit in the form of a bird, who became a human in order to become close to a depressed peasant girl who was ostracised from her village due to her ancestry to a certain clan. She learns the joys of being human, hanging out with her friend, falling in love with said friend, but eventually her otherworldly beauty causes conflict and the continent goes to war, which ended in the genocide of a country and Michaela stabbed and left in a well. The other girl, Margarita, is a pretty significant character in the series due to the fact that the series is structured around the biblical seven deadly sins, with her story being Sloth (Michaela is a side character of Pride’s story). Margarita may seem like an odd choice for sloth as part of her story follows how she is unable to sleep, and instead works hard to develop her gift to her loved ones (but gift in the German meaning of the word check below image). But sloth also means lacking devotion or care, and Margarita by the end of it, despite once vowing she’d always her husband, couldn’t give a damn about him in the end, describing herself again like “a plaything, broken from the start” and eventually she gives up on everything. All these Miku characters all have the same things in common (other than being screwed over by men), which is their relationship with inhumanity and artificiality, which is kinda meta given how Hatsune Miku is an artificial singer made for the amusement of others. But at least she’s not about to poison anyone because of it.

I’ve spoken too much evillious, so let me info dump about a much more palatable Miku related thing. That was a pun because it’s Colourful Palette. Or Colour Stage? Uhh Project Sekai. Yeah. A rhythm game (that’s free), that revolves around the concept of different genres of hatsune Miku that come from magic other worlds and are really good therapists. There are five storylines of different music groups that have really strong feelings tm that their emotions spawned whole other worlds that are inhabited by vocaloids, who want to help the main characters, discover what their feelings are so they can write songs about it. Yeahhh… Miku comes in five different flavours! School, idol, street, catgirl clown and depressed! ALSO EVILLIOUS DID A CROSS OVER WITH THE GAME SO THE POISON LADY IS HERE ALSO. The songs used in the rhythm game consists of a lot of iconic vocaloid songs as well as songs specifically commissioned for the game, sung by both vocaloids and the real life voice actors, which is very fun. Hatsune Miku, due to coming in different forms in this game, kinda works like a character from a multiverse story (like spider verse or the incredibly convoluted branch of the undertale fandom), and it seems like Miku is kinda just born from emotions and music, which makes her way more cryptid/deity like than the game presents her to be. Miku is just an entity yknow? I haven’t finished the main storylines of the game yet, but they’re good and also the vocaloid side plots are cool. For example the School world Miku tries her hardest to act like a mentor figure to the humans, whilst Luka (another vocaloid) who is more of a mentor figure to Miku looks on. I think in the fandom, the theme park theatre storyline and the emo shut ins storyline are more popular (because they are the embodiment of the “nothing in life matters” millennial vs gen z meme), and can we talk about depressed Miku because she’s literally born out of somebody’s mommy issues and depression but she’s really sweet. The whole “Miku’s personality is based around the feelings that are put into her songs” are again in reference to how the character of Miku works.

To round off this ramble about Miku I’m going to talk about some of my favourite Miku songs. I’m more of a kagamine Len listener, especially when I was younger and first discovered vocaloid but these are my Miku picks.

Miku by Anamanaguchi: yeah so this chiptune song is about Miku herself and it’s pretty iconic. A lot of vocaloid songs are kinda vague, but this one seems to describe who and what Miku is in a way that makes her seem mysterious, like an interesting technological phenomenon which checks out. She mentions how “anyone can find her” and that people can “play me break me” referring to how she’s easily found on the internet and she can be used to make songs. The ending of the song seems to take a more sinister turn where Miku seems to want to make you stay forever (in like a ddlc Monika way). It does make sense in a way, since Miku is a program that relies on other people’s interest to stay alive and relevant, and in a sense, people’s dedication/addiction to Miku is what keeps her going. She’s like one of those spooky maybe??sentient AIs.

The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku by cosMo: so this is a song depicting what happens to Miku when no one likes her. Specifically this is supposedly about that one time in 2007 when suddenly, Miku disappeared from the search engines, and every time someone tried to look her up, the search results came up blank. She became incredibly popular in a short amount of time that allegedly people searched her so much that Google and yahoo blocked the search, because it looked like spam. The incident upset people so much they created a fan made character, that later was recognised as an official derivative of Miku, based on their boredom. There’s also a conspiracy on whether this was actually a motivated attack on Miku’s popularity due to an anti Miku campaign lead by an advertising agency that influenced the Japanese music industry but idk there are a lot of stories on the internet. Evidently the problem is fixed. The song came out around that time and is about Miku lamenting the fact that she’s getting shut down, and all she wants to do is sing before she dies. Yeah. The song is notorious, not just for its background but also for its incredibly fast paced rap?? part that gets as fast as 240bpm, and I think the fact that’s is almost impossible for a human to sing it, works well with Miku’s struggle with the fact that’s she’s not human.

Okay that’s a lot of talking so here are some quick recommendations:

The maiden of the tree ~ Millennium Wiegenlied ~ by Akuno-P: this is the evillious song about Michaela the spirit turned human lesbian. Very boppy!

Patchwork staccato by toa: I like this one for the actual music it’s a bop. There’s a few interpretations of the song but generally it’s about relationship problems, be it one sided love or a toxic relationship that’s hard to break away from.

Kagerou Daze by Jin: more of a rock song, which is part of a wider vocaloid series (The Kagerou Project) and it’s about a boy who keeps living through the same day over and over again because his friend keeps dying no matter where he takes her. It’s a time travel trauma loop! The song ends when the boy realises to break the cycle, he has to die instead, and m the last verse of the song reveals the girl is also trapped in the same loop. Fun! The actual story is a little different but I don’t need another incredibly complex and convoluted vocaloid series to cry about so I didn’t get into it. Also the animation for it is so cool

Anything from the Night ∞ Series by Hitoshizuku-P x Yama△: a series consisting of four songs sung by eight vocaloids (ofc Hatsune Miku is included), which tell the tale of a group of actors who get trapped repeating the same play of a manor in the woods forever which also becomes real life because someone lost the last page of the script (and also someone perhaps died??). The songs all tell the same story from different perspectives and end differently (but usually either Miku or everyone else dies). There’s a novel about it. It’s confusing spooky and good music. I also feel like I’ve listed way too many dark songs oops.

Aww man I can’t talk about “all phone zombies lead to Rome” by manbo-p because it’s a gumi song, not Miku. It was going to be the one not tragic song on this list! Oh well you should totally listen/watch it, it’s hilarious and also educational.

Well yeah that’s it! My tastes in Miku songs are a little intense but yeah!

#hatsune miku #by doodle I really mean 3+ day projects #outing my incredible concerning music tastes to innocent Ninjago fans I’m sorry #doodlarambla #art #evillious chronicles #millennium wiegenlied #gift of the third sleep princess #project sekai #Miku #anamanaguchi #the disappearance of hatsune miku #patchwork staccato #Kagerou daze #night∞series #bad end night #digital art #fanart #this is my irl friend being an agent of chaos

[razieltwelve]

The Raccoon (Final Rose x MCU)

“What are you looking at?” Rocket growled.

The woman in stylised crystalline armour stared at him for a moment longer. “I was just thinking that my sister would absolutely love you.”

The raccoon blinked. “What? Is that supposed to be some kind of insult or something?”

“Oh, no. I’m being completely honest.” Averia smiled beneath her helmet. “A super-smart raccoon who trash talks, steals stuff, and builds ridiculously powerful weaponry? You’re absolutely perfect.”

“...” Rocket squinted at her. “You’re serious?”

“Completely. Meeting you would be one of the greatest days in her life.” Averia sighed. “It’s a pity that’s not possible.”

“Yeah...?” Rocket put his gun away. “That sucks, huh?”

“It does.” Averia loved Peter and her Aunt May, but she would never - could never forget the family of her first life. “But we keep going... even when we lose people who matter.”

“I feel that.” Rocket stuck out his hand. “The name’s Rocket.”

“Averia.”

The raccoon frowned. “Why do people keep calling me a raccoon? I don’t even know what that is.”

“Ah.” Averia used Saviour to create images of raccoons, from a baby raccoon all the way through to an adult. “It would be because you are a raccoon, albeit one who has been... modified in certain ways.”

“Really?” Rocket chuckled. “I feel kind of bad for shooting at some of those people then. You’re from Earth, right? Same place as Quill?”

“Yes.” Averia sighed. “Although I’m really here to gather information.”

“Yeah? What kind? I could maybe help you out if you’re willing to help me out. You look pretty tough.”

“What do you need?” Averia could probably blast her way to the information she needed. There were very, very few things that could stand up to a bearer of Saviour, and she had only continued to unlock more of her Semblance since awakening it again in this life.

“We’ve got some... nasty business coming up, some really bad guys in need of a bit of...”

“Murder?”

“Call it taking out the trash. But, yeah. You help us out, and I’ll help you out. What do you need to know?”

Averia held out her hand again, and another image formed. “I need to know about all the things you didn’t put in your report about this.”

It was an image of the Power Stone.

Rocket was immediately on edge. “Hey -”

“Relax. I don’t want it.” Averia’s voice was firm. “In fact, I want to make sure it - and the others like it - stay as safe as possible. To that end I need to know where it is, who is protecting it, and what it can do. That way I can help make sure that nothing... untoward happens to it.”

“You’re not planning on using it to kill a whole bunch of people or anything?”

Averia chuckled. “Rocket, let me put it this way. If I wanted to wipe out a planet, I wouldn’t need that stone to do it. I’m asking nicely and choosing to work with you because I’m one of the good guys.” She paused. “And because my sister would kick my ass from the afterlife if I beat you up.”

“Heh. Well, welcome aboard, I guess.” Rocket turned. “Come with me. You can meet the rest of the crew. They’re a bit strange, but...”

“Strange is fine.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Find someone who looks at you the way Diana would look at Rocket. In this snippet, we’ve got Averia playing errand girl for the Ancient One who has determined that a grave threat is on the horizon. Her task is to try to prevent that threat by securing the Infinity Stone. In other words, warn those who have them, improve their defences and communication to let them call for aid, and determine who exactly is after them.

If her Aunt May and Peter ask, she’s currently on a Stark Industries Holiday Camp. Tony is happy to work with the wizards, and you can bet he insists on calling them wizards whenever he can. On the upside, Kamar-Taj now has Stark-level internet. Wong can download all the Beyonce he wants now.

Incidentally, Averia finds the magic they use quite fascinating since she can actually see the other dimensions they’re pulling energy from and how that energy affects their surroundings. Saviour is completely bullshit in this case because it is, functionally, like a super sharingan. Even if it’s not the way Saviour would do it, it can perceive, understand, and copy the method of operation since it’s not all that far from what Saviour does from shunting attacks into other dimensions and the like.

Averia promptly gets the name Bullshit Wizard from Tony, which he can only ever use when Steve or Pepper isn’t around. Steve because of the swearing and Pepper because she insists on treating Averia like a teenager because someone needs to.

#final rose #mcu #fanfiction #averia yun farron #rocket raccoon

[cup-and-chaucer]

Deathless Is Not a Love Story: A Rant

Everyday I wake up and some subsection of Goodreads has declared war on me, specifically. I finished this book this afternoon and immediately went on a long walk to process it and digest it. I sat in my car by the lake and checked Goodreads and felt my soul flee from my body, flee from the burden of being right on the Internet, flee from the bad faith takes, the misinterpretations, and, most of all, the assertion that a book that begins with a literal bird marrying a girl is historical fiction.

I’m not in a place where I can say whether or not I liked Deathless. I think it’s flawed certainly but it’s not flawed in the way people say it is flawed and that bothers me. *clenches fist* so much. I think the easiest way to organize my thoughts is to take the common thread in the reviews and break them down as I see them:

1. Koschei and Masha’s Relationship is the Best/Worst Love Story Ever Told

This is the major response to this book. Babes, I don’t think it was a love story at all. Koschei and Marya get married, this is true. Marriage is not a love story. Besides marriage in this book happens between any number of people, objects, and creatures. For all that marriage is discussed, there are almost no weddings. The sheer number of situations described as marriage, for me, diluted what we mean as marriage. Many are not monogamous, or based on courtship, or lasting. They are what marriage often is: a partnership or a commitment made formal. In our world, people are married to people, to ideals, to jobs and this book takes that use of the word and makes it literal.

This book, more than anything, uses fairytale tropes and language to examine the development and disappearance of cultural narratives. It adheres to the rule of threes, includes magical helpers, and transformation to do this. It is strange, then, that Koschei and Marya, and frankly, Marya and Ivan, do not share many traditional romantic moments or moments that build or deepen their characters beyond the roles in the narrative that they are destined to play. Instead of beauty (though it’s mentioned), or charm, or bravery, power is what binds each point of the love triangle together. Who has power? Who doesn’t?

The characters talk of love but with their “love interests”, more often than not they talk about desire or wanting or submission. Marya loves her friends, Marya desires Koschei. Marya loves her home, Marya desires Ivan. I heard Marta’s relationship to Ivan described as instalove…but it’s not, not really, it’s acknowledging explicitly that the plot has to move forward, regardless of Marya’s devotion to Koschei. But again, fundamentally, Marya goes with Ivan to pursue dominance.

Koschei grooms and abducts Marya. Marya forces Ivan to submit. Marya chains Koschei. All these power dynamics shift and change throughout the story, rarely finding balance.

The network of relationships in Deathless is symbolic; the commitment that each character demonstrates to any other character is symbolic; any marriage that takes place is symbolic. Each element of what each character represents changes in each relationship. Koschei is life, he is wealth, he is Tsarist Russia, he is devilry. Ivan is life, too, he is poverty, he is Communism, he is humanity. Marya is the Every Man caught between these choices. Marya doesn’t leave Koschei for lack of love but to commit to a new thematic element because they are all, ultimately, powerless against the narrative.

What this did for me was create a huge sense of how meta this book was: it’s a story about stories, a narrative about being trapped inside a narrative, a legend about the destruction of legend. It also highlighted how political identities, politicized power can be mapped in our most intimate relationships. I think the radfem ideas of sex are stupid and the kink shaming I saw in response to this book was gross, but, as a storytelling device I thought the use of sexual dynamics and BDSM-style power exchanges were effective in communicating the tensions between each character and what they symbolizes and the heavy sexual charge inherent to nearly all the relationships made the point that all these choices—who do you support, who holds power—very intimate.

I guess this is the place to talk about the kink shaming in response to this book because it really bothered me. I want to get to a place in this world where sexual fluidity and sexual expression can be used without it being criticized for being disgusting or salacious or gratuitous. Sometimes it is those things! Sometimes the way things are portrayed are inaccurate or wrong! But, there is something within me, as a bisexual person, that feels extremely protective of any sort of sexual fluidity, including kink. And here, having power dynamics explored—maybe not in a healthy way for real life but in a narratively legitimate way—felt important to me. The fact that Koschei spanking her over a table is maybe arousing or maybe is a cold shower to someone is irrelevant to whether it makes sense. And I thought it made sense.

2. Everything is Black and White.

I mean…kind of the point?! I mean give the author an iota of credit. Seriously, though, the whole point is the duality, the places where the binary crosses.

Viy and Koschei.

Koschei and Ivan.

Communism and Monarchy.

Death and Life.

Dominant and Submissive.

Marya is the one who goes back and forth, bisexually fluid, chasing freedom. For Marya, freedom and agency comes in submission, it comes in dominance, it comes in home, it comes in leaving. As the definition of what her agency looks like changes, so does her story.

This is also why the Yaichka sequence is important. It is the only time in the book when all the elects come into balance. There is sharing and community support with the inclusion of personal property and identity. This is the only time when Marya and Koschei’s relationship looks like a marriage or reads like a love story. The rural idyll is due to the ceasing of narrative warfare and the balance of political systems means that all can live in harmony and not incentivize the violent tendencies of a Stalin or resist the evils of a Rasputin. It is a world left unpoisoned and it is where Koschei and Marya can exist outside the entrapments of the narrative system.

3. It’s not Historically Accurate

These types of comments make me feel like I am being divinely punished for getting a degree in History. A man turns into a bird, there’s a dragon, like I just—I swear to God, this is the source of 50% of my migraines. This is lumped in with people saying that the various creatures that Marya encounters along the way wouldn’t have spouted Communist slogans…which is a take that I don’t think fully appreciates the drama and abruptness of the Communists’ rise to power in the 1910s.

I do think it is fair to consider the way CV uses history in this book, especially as an American writing about Russia. I think an argument could be made that using the siege of Leningrad as a backdrop for your experimental fiction is maybe not in good taste? It depends on the quality of the work and I think there is room to debate if CV was successful enough in the the power of her book to justify the usage of a genocide as the stage for her fairytale even if that fairytale is a political one. Frankly, it all feels trite in light of the war against Ukraine.

Overall, I thought that the blending of Soviet history and symbolism within a mythological context worked really well but, during the description of siege itself, I had that pricking at the back of neck that I feel whenever people talk about the animated film Anastasia: Historical tragedy is not your playground. There is something that makes me profoundly uncomfortable at the notion that the deadliest siege in world history was the result of the Tsar of Life willfully staying in a basement at the eroticized behest of his wife.

I’m still working out what I think about this section and the way it made me feel. It’s hard because Leningrad was a German offensive; Russia was undoubtedly a victim and not because of Communism. It takes the discussion of power beyond Russia’s borders. This is where CV’s metaphors become too unwieldy to really carry through, I think, and when the book overextends its purpose. It is at its most successful when confined to talking about the dramatic shift from monarchy to communism and the inherent inequalities and cruelties in both governments…blowing it up to the complexity of all the different varieties of totalitarianism in all the different European states confused it a little.

Additionally, the Tsar of Death triumphing in the end—I guess, this is another thing I am working out in my mind. I suppose this is because as the timeline moves into the latter half of the 20th Century, into the nuclear age and age of genocide, into the cementing of a Stalinist Russia as a world power that this is true. I suppose I struggle to think of an alternative? The war between death and life seems doomed when framed within the context of WWII…if the alternative is a Third Reich that stretched the length of continental Europe. Unless, she’s talking about the death of traditional Russian culture?! I need to muse on this more.

Whatever it is, I think this plays into a larger discussion about how Americans write and conceptualize Russia and Russian history and culture.

4. The language the writing the prose as purple as a violet on a mountainside

Yeah, I mean, I get it. The language is going to be to your taste or not to your taste. I wish people would think about why authors write the way they do. The artificiality of the language sets this up as a fairytale, as a structure. The over abundance of metaphors implies that nothing is as it seems, that things look different at different angles. And I—I don’t think she’s showing off? Maybe that’s being too kind but choosing a writing style so specific is a thoughtful decision and a commitment. In really good books, form follows function and that’s what keeps a bold style choice like this from being a gimmick.

I think that’s it for now! I really enjoyed it and it certainly was the weirdness that I crave at this time of year!!!

#deathless #cathrynne m valente

[cell-axe]

Ramblings for Qiumibu #6

Link to Part 5

Link to Part 7

Since I’ve already gone through the Four Leaders, it’s time to focus on the miscellaneous characters found in this setting! I’m going to focus on two characters who have been around after Secare and Naso were created, but before Roslan was created.

Princess Magdalene and her bodyguard Harmios.

She is the princess of a yet-named kingdom, found near the Kingdom of Eulia. Her family had been usurped and exiled from the place, so she is currently staying at Prince Naso’s residence until she has the necessary resources to retake her kingdom from the people that booted her out in the first place.

Now here’s a problem: I hadn’t actually worked out why she was booted out in the first place. Was it because of disgruntled subjects? Another faction barging in to remove them so they can install themselves as the current ruler of the place? I could do that, but I hadn’t really worked on a lot of factions in this setting. The four Main Kingdoms (Eulia, Ailude, Ordam, Urtain) have some pieces of them done, but the minor kingdoms? There’s LOADS of them scattered across the island. And there are even more royal families in these places.

Worry not, for I won’t touch upon every single one of them. Though… thinking about it now, I may have a few other prince and princesses scattered among the few characters I have properly worked on for Qiumibu. Oops.

Anyways, not every minor kingdom is affiliated with the Main Kingdoms. Magdalene’s kingdom was fortunately affiliated with the Kingdom of Eulia, hence why she was able to seek refuge at his place.

What is she good at? She’s a spellcaster, hence the wand. I love the idea of wand-using spellcasters, because why must they rely on staves or their hands when wands are essentially mini-staves that can be easily concealed and quick to use in small spaces. Sure, they aren’t as cool as staves, or as fast as swinging hands with gestures to perform tricks, but I like wands and that’s what Magdalene gets. Speaking of magic, her spells tend to hit areas rather than individual targets, and she’s really good at teleporting people! That may explain how she ended up in Eulia instead of with her family who had fled elsewhere. I’m not sure where.

Anyways, that’s enough of the spendthrift princess. Now let’s focus on her bodyguard Harmios:

He’s roughly around the Princess’s age, having been selected by her parents to keep watch of her. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean he has any feelings for her. He treats it as a job that he’s lucky enough to get so he can support his own family, but after the uprising, he’s now looking after her so at least he can be paid well once the princess manages to take back the kingdom and reunite with her family.

Harmios is a fun guy. He’s a decent blademaster who wields some sickle-like weapon, but that’s about it. He doesn’t have any powers like the princess does, but he’s been hit by her spells so frequently that he instinctively knows when to get out of the hit zone. He could even give a warning to everyone before her horn lights up, but whether they take his advice or not is none of his concern.

I ought to draw these two horses horsing around again. I wanted to try a different approach to drawing Sonic characters without relying on the good ole “round muzzle” look that we’ve seen so much of.

Welp, see you guys in the next part. I think I’ll focus on a pair of minor factions that were based off of chess pieces, along with a few drawings for those guys and more words to read.

Additionally, I want to complain about tumblr’s annoying system where my drafts SOMEHOW revert back to a moment before I had added a picture of Magdalene. All of this happens with a touch of the good ole CTRL + Z, so please, take the advice I’d found on the Internet and just write your tumblr posts on another word program (MS Word to the rescue for me!) before posting it onto tumblr.

That’s all, I guess.

#original? concept #qiumibu #sonic fan character #sonic oc #it's a ramble at this point

[nobsvibe]

A Court of Mist and Fury PDF Free Download Unveiling the Magic

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[kkusuka]

Have I told you I hate weak y/n’s that get pushed around by fangirls? No? Well, I hate them 😊

Let’s have Oikawa, Atsumu, Akaashi, Semi, and Terushima react to their normally calm gf, beat the dog shit out of a fangirl that tried to intimidate her for dating said men above. Reader just has a soft smile before cocking her fist back and boxing her shit before holding up the fangirl and looking to the rest like “You wanna end up like her? No? Then know your place~ ☺️”. Then she faces her bf with a sweet smile and says something affectionate like “I brought you lunch, dear. I made it just how you like it 😄” before kissing his cheek like she didn’t go Muhammad Ali on a bitch

<3

Oikawa Tooru<3

Oikawa’s had more than a few less than pleasant experiences with women

Considering he’s always been surrounded by them, from his sister's friends in middle school and being swarmed by them in High school and college- having women around him was nothing new

And for the most part, they were all pleasant

Giving him little gifts and food- that he always gave to you- and just telling him how much they loved watching him play

All things he can deal with before talking to his favorite girl, you

Though, there have been instances of some bold woman who just never get the hint

Whether it be drunkenness or some weird dream of having Oikawa to herself or just blatant disregard of his relationship

And right now just happens to be one of those times- but now you got a firsthand view of the madness.

Whoever this was clearly didn't understand relationships or personal space for that matter

She had a hand on his chest and was just blubbering about how she would be the best wife for him and would make life so much easier- much more than you do for him- and that was just what you saw from the ten seconds you were in earshot

He would normally laugh it offend continue seeking out autographs but he seemed to be locked in an iron maiden

“I promise! Forget about your girlfriend, she’s useless anyways!” and finally a perfect chance to make yourself known

“Tooru, I have your lun-” you attempted to grab him away, him shooting a pleading look to save him before your wrist was snatched from his arm and tugged away and shoved to the side then pushing your body away from the two

“Back off bitch!”

Now,  you were normally a pretty calm person, you knew how to deal with the women and you have been for years.

But you stand by the fact that it was never ok to put your hands on someone- no matter the situation.

But at that moment, you could care less about your silly reparations and breathing methods, that lady put a hand on you and pushed you

You could hear Tooru telling her to keep her hands off you but you just looked around and made sure that everyone saw what had happened, you don't need to be arrested anytime soon

Grabber her arm you detached her from your boyfriends and in the next second your fist was connecting with her face, watching her wither on the floor you turn to your boyfriend who’s now coming towards you

“As I was saying, I have your lunch.”

Atsumu Miya<3

Another guy who’s constantly surrounded by women

Although he is far less appreciative and nice to them, and he makes it a point to be abundantly clear that you are the only woman he will spend the rest of his life with

Something that wasn't too popular with a few specific fans

Every blue moon someone will find his phone number and blow it up with loving messages or try and get his address

The worst it’s been was someone finding his apartment number and thankfully being too far away to come by themselves but they did send some inappropriate images to his PO box and that led him to create an even thinker line between fans and himself

Thankful, the whole of them understood and respected his boundaries

Buuuuut there are always people who go the extra step

Like whoever this is crowding your boyfriend after a win against the Alders with a giant poster of him and a …. Thong

If you were the slightest more stoic you would have held in the laugh that started it all but it seems crazy is crazy no matter how you provoke them

That lady heard you laugh and the flood gates opened, in a split second her hand was on your cheek then she was on the floor holding what you could hope was a broken jaw

You didn't even realize you punched her until a shooting pain went up your wrist

Though before you had a chance to return to your lovely boyfriend, who was standing in the same spot shell shocked (and slightly turned on)  hand grabbed your ankle the flung you to the ground

It was, for lack of a better term, a catfight

She was hitting you and you were hitting her and she was screaming random shit about how awful you were to her precious Atsumu- seriously this lady was insane

Nevertheless, security arrived, and let’s just say that you were in much better condition than she was, who knew you could fight so well?

Though you weren't allowed to come to the next game and had to apologize to the heads of the Volleyball association, Tsumu was proud of you and the internet was on your side- so it was kind of a win-win

Akaashi Keiji<3

He surprisingly doesn't have a swarm of fangirls around him

But it’s much much worse, you’d rather have a mob of girls around him than the four specific psychos that never leave the poor guy alone

Everywhere in school at least one of them is watching the two of you, in class, at lunch- no matter where you try and eat- you swear you even saw one at the boba show you pass on your walk home with him

The worst part?

He thinks it’s funny.

It is hilarious to him that you try so hard to keep them away full knowing he would never leave you for the likes of them. It’s just too cute how you puff up your cheeks and huff about them and honestly, it's a breath of fresh air considering how much everyone kisses up to him

Well- he likes it when they are at a distance

On the off chance they get close to him, it's a different story. They truly are intolerable, and they away try bad-mouthing you to him like it was supposed to mean something that they don't like you

And they only ever do it when you’re away- cowards they truly are. And since they’re always watching, as soon as you left to buy the two of you lunch, one of them was on him in an instant

She was annoying and all she could say was ho you were a ‘poison’ in his life and he had to leave you as soon as possible

He didn't even realize you were there until a hand grabbed the back of her uniform and flung her off him. And from the looks of it, falling on the ground really hurt

“I’m a poison? That’s all you could come up with?”

You didn't even have to say another word, she was already out of sight

Not missing a beat, you handed him his lunch and started talking about the latest episode of the volleyball anime you loved.

Semi Eita<3

First off- a total power couple

Not only are you willing to beat a bitch, but he’s also ready to hype you up while you do it

It’s not confirmed you have, but there are rumors that you fought more than a few girls who were less than pleasant. And it’s not like you do anything for rumor control, you just laugh and turn the other way

Still, even with the rumor mill running rampant, some girls still try and shoot their shot

But this girl has to be the boldest woman on planet earth

Not only was she flirting with an openly taken man, but she was flirting with him as he held his arm around your waist. She even looked at you as she spoke to him, the audacity of people these days

“You like music? That’s crazy, I do too!” you wanted her to shut the fuck up as soon as possible.

What pissed you off more was that he knew exactly what he was doing, and he was letting it happen to spite you.

What happened after this you blame solely on the alcohol the party was providing and not on the fact you wanted to clock this girl the moment you saw her

It was just that suddenly your drink was in her face

Then her drink was in her face, and she was running to the bathroom, maybe she should listen to rumors more often because you don't think strawberry daiquiri will come out of a white crop too so easily

Terushima Yuji<3

He’s an ass

But he’s your ass, somehow

He’s a manwhore and an attention-whore, mix that should have been shot before it could grow into something more

By now you're used to the girls slipping him their numbers and hitting him up on every social media site possible and you remain happy to say he doesn't respond- probably too busy dicking you down to care about any of them

Plus, less than 1%  of them actually approach them in public, and they just happen to be the most insufferable people on the planet.

Desperation doesn't even describe it

Of that 1%, at least half of them try to touch him, running a hand on his arm, tugging at his clothes, maybe even a strand of his hair, all you can deal with because he knows what’ll happen if he even entertains their advances

But for some reason, the only thing that sets you off is when they mention the tongue piercing.

It invokes a rage unknown within you, the second the metal ball’s mentioned you see red. And he fucking loves it, you could be three prefectures over and the second the girl mentions it, you magically appear at his side like you’d been there the whole time

All of a sudden you’re all over him, disregarding this girls words as she tries to bring the conversation back to her, going as far as grabbing your shoulder, and since she touched you first- you had the green light

Your arm pulled back and your fist connected to her cheek

And like nothing ever happened you turned back to the blond

tags: @diamond-3 @rinsangel @heyheyitsne @angelalje @monisi @crystal-lilac @sadpotato10

#oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa smut #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu smut #akaashi x reader #akaashi keji x reader #akaashi keiji #akaashi smut #semi eita x reader #semi eita #semi x reader #semi smut #terushima yuji x reader #terushima x reader #terushima smut #terushima yuuji #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #hq x reader

[xx-thedarklord-xx]

Is This On?

Also on Ao3

Muggle things weren’t that complicated. If Potter could master them, then so could Draco. Refrigerators were a godsend and whoever invented the telly was a genius. He had figured out the function of a light bulb instantly, it was the electricity itself that he still hadn’t fully grasped. Where did it come from? How did it know when to work? Some things, however, didn’t make any sense no matter how many times it was explained to him.

The internet.

Draco didn’t understand where it began, where it was located or how it worked. All he knew was that he could ask questions to the phone Harry gave him and it would answer back. Sometimes the lady trapped in the phone would send him to the internet to provide information or other times to a little telly inside the phone too.

Which led him to his current predicament.

Harry sometimes used the internet to talk to Granger. There was a little camera on the computer. At least that’s what Harry said but hadn’t really ever showed him much more than that. Could he use it to talk to Harry?

Draco poked the little camera several times, trying to get it to work. He typed in the password that Harry wrote down hoping that would help. When he was met with a photo of the two of them, he tried not to be endeared. Potter would be such a sentimental sap.

“How does this work?” Draco muttered to himself as he stared at the little icons. He couldn’t remember the steps Harry had taken to talk to Granger. Would it even work if he had remembered? He didn’t want to talk to Granger, he wanted to talk to Harry.

“Internet show me Harry.”

Nothing happened.

Draco huffed. It had been a long shot anyway. Reluctantly, Draco pulled out his phone and hit the button that brought out the lady inside. “How do I call on the internet?”

She repeated his question to him as if that was going to help somehow before he was brought to a list of options.

“Skype.” Draco wrinkled his nose. That didn’t sound familiar. He set his phone down and opened the same icon on the computer that his phone had brought him to and typed in Skype.

The first thing that popped up was a little telly. Harry called them videos, but Draco liked that they were little tellies and didn’t care what Harry said. The little telly was boring and showed him too many steps to follow. What drew his attention were more little tellies that he could select from. Some were about Skype too, but others were about all kinds of things.

Make-up. Music. Food. Books. Sports.

There were too many to choose from. So he watched several different little tellies. A lot of them were boring and he ended up either leaving for another one or skipping to the good stuff. Some people weren’t the actors that they thought they were. Honestly, where was the charisma? The charm? He could do it much better.

Draco paused, thumb over the mouse as he thought about it.

He could do it better than most of the people in the little tellies. He had the charisma that they didn’t, he had the charm, the looks, the better smile. And his life was much more interesting than these people. Those with boring lives shouldn’t talk for an hour unless their aim was to put people to sleep. Oh, that was another thought. Were there little tellies to fall asleep? There were little tellies for everything. He rather liked the internet, even if it made no sense.

Draco watched a few more little tellies before he figured he knew enough to do it too. It wouldn’t let him make a little telly until he created an account, which he thought was kind of rude, but it was their rules. A lot of people didn’t use their real name, so he chose not to either. It took him longer than he wanted to find something that suited him.

Slytherin’s Heir.

Finding out that Harry and his idiot friends thought that he had been Slytherin’s Heir had been flattering. Oh, they hadn’t thought that, but they didn’t realize the kind of compliment it had been. What he wouldn’t have given to be Slytherin’s Heir. That kind of power and social status would have made him untouchable.

With his name chosen, it wanted a photo, but Draco didn’t have any photos of him on Harry’s computer. So he didn’t do anything, let the internet do a blank one. Draco’s foot tapped a few times as he realized his account was complete. Now all he had to do was make a little telly.

It took a few times to find the right succession of buttons to find the live option. He didn’t really understand what being live meant, but he did know that meant that he didn’t have to have a little telly already made, that he could create one right there.

“Is this on?” Draco asked, lips pursed as he poked the camera. “I’m not really sure if this is working. Honestly, I was trying to talk to Harry when I decided to make a little telly. Harry’s my boyfriend. Hi Harry.”

Draco waved at the camera with a small smile. He wished he could see Harry’s face.

“Harry’s actually mad at me right now. He’s an annoying prat who likes to think he’s right all the time.” Draco paused; one side of his face scrunched as the thought about what Harry’s reaction would be to his little telly.

“Maybe mad is an exaggeration,” Draco sighed, one hand pushing through his hair. He hadn’t slicked it back in a few days, too out of sorts to feel up to it. His hair fell into his eyes which was an annoying reminder of why he liked his hair slicked in the first place. “He’s more disappointed.”

Draco grimaced as he remembered the last time he had seen Harry.

“He loves me,” Draco whispered, hating that his cheeks were warm. “He says it all the time. At least he used to.”

A long-suffering sigh escaped as he slumped in the chair with wheels that Harry insisted on using even though Draco thought it was a safety concern.

“When I say all the time, I do mean all the time,” Draco grinned. “He didn’t hear that growing up at all and I think he says it so much because he’s trying to make up for lost time. I don’t mind. I like hearing it. Makes me melt a little bit to know that he loves me so much.”

Draco frowned, sitting up straighter.

“You better not tell him that though. That’s embarrassing.” He waved a finger at the camera in what he hoped was a threatening manner.

“I didn’t hear I love you growing up either. It was rare to hear my parents say anything even hinting at love. But the thing is, I’ve always known they loved me. I could see it in the things they did. When my father would show me a new spell or help me with my hand movements. My mother would bring home my favourite sweets whenever she went out. They would stay up later than was presentable with me and listen to the radio.”

The smile on his face was bittersweet. As much as he knew that his parents loved him, it would have been nice to hear it more than they did.

“I guess I picked up their habit,” Draco winced. “I tell Harry I love him… sometimes. I try to tell him more, but the words don’t come easy to me. My parents knew I loved them, and they certainly didn’t need me to say it. But I try to show Harry too!”

Draco’s hands had begun to move in the beginning but were now thrown in the air.

“I make sure whenever he’s on a case to keep his plants watered, even if the one Neville gave him has it out for me and tries to kill me. When he’s having a bad day I make sure his duvet smells like mint because I know he’s going to collapse on our bed and not move for longer than is healthy and for some reason mint is his favourite smell. I don’t really know how to cook that well but the lady in my phone helps me order from Harry’s favourite restaurant and I do that when he’s feeling sad and sometimes when he’s really happy too.”

Draco’s lips turned downward the longer he talked. It bothered him that Harry couldn’t see that he was loved.

“I’m not a people person but I willingly go with him on what he calls adventures around London. Adventure is accurate because wherever Harry goes, trouble follows. Last month we had to run from people with sticks on horses. Harry said they were the law, but I feel like if you were lawmen then you should dress better but that’s beside the point. Then there was this one time we got kicked out of a library. That was more my fault, but Harry was the one who didn’t tell me that the books didn’t talk or yell. Who wants to go to a library with silent books? That’s like going to a gallery where the paintings don’t talk. What’s the point?”

Muggles were weird, honestly. There were a lot of things they did that were smart, and he wished that Wizards would adopt too. But a large amount of what Muggles did was boring. They lived boring lives and he felt bad that they didn’t have Magic to spice it up.

“I try to show with actions how much he means to me, and I thought I was doing a good job at it, but I guess not.” His eyes closed as he remembered the hurt expression on Harrys’ face.

“He told me he wished I would tell him I loved him more. I told him there was no point. Which in hindsight, I’ll admit was a mistake. I don’t take it back, mind you. But I wish I had explained better before he left. I meant there was no point in saying it more if I could tell him through actions. Which I have been doing since I realized I loved him. I thought he knew. I thought he could see how much I love him.”

Draco swallowed around a lump in his throat. He wasn’t worried about their relationship, not really. Harry sometimes needed a few days to cool down when they argued. Only usually, it was anger that was the parting goodbye and not a heartbreaking sadness.

He looked back to the camera, hating that his eyes were wet.

“I love him, so much. I could talk about all the things he does for me that I love. Like the way he looks at me, the way he makes me feel loved and whole. The way he holds my hand too tight, like he thinks I’ll pull away. As if I ever would. Or the way I feel like I’m high on liquid luck whenever we’re together. But those are selfish to point out. I don’t want to talk about me when I bring up what I love about him. That’s conceited.

“I love the way he throws a fist in the air when he gets an answer on the telly right. I love his stupid hair that has to be sentient at this point, never lying flat. I love the softness in his eyes when he’s happy, the way they shine so brightly. Almost as bright as his smile. I love how kind he is. I know I give him shit for that, which I should, but there’s a goodness to him that isn’t common anymore, and I love that. I love how much he cares about other people.

“I love how hard he works—puts every ounce of himself into whatever he’s working on no matter how big or small. I love how smart he is, even if he doesn’t see it himself. He thinks of the world in ways that others don’t—a genius to him that fascinates me. I love how much he loves. He loves with everything that he has. He loves people in general. Wants to see the best in them, has a faith that never wavers. His friends are his family, his family is his world and the love he has for all of them is another extension of himself that is everlasting.”

Draco blinked through the wetness as he sniffled.

“I’m honoured to be part of that love. To know that he could care about me a fraction of what he feels for others is overwhelming. I know he loves me; Merlin knows that I do. How could I not? He doesn’t just say it, he shows it. And I just wish that he knew how much I loved him too. I know I don’t say it enough, and I try, I do, but I had hoped that he could see it. Maybe that’s my fault. Maybe I didn’t show it enough, maybe I didn’t try harder. Maybe I should have done more.”

Draco wiped at his cheeks hating that he let his emotions get the best of him. Especially on his first little telly!

“What hurts the most is that I don’t know how else I could have showed him,” Draco laughed bitterly. “I really don’t. I give so much of myself to Harry, perhaps that’s not healthy, but it’s true. I love him so bloody much and I hate that he doesn’t see that, that he doesn’t know. How could I not love him? Harry, how could you not know that I love you?

“I love you…”

Draco took a deep breath, wishing it wasn’t as shaky as it was as he twirled in the chair. That had to be the reason Muggles had such dangerous chairs, so they could twirl.

“My first little telly wasn’t supposed to go like this,” Draco smiled wryly as he placed his chin on his palm. “I was supposed to charm you all with my good looks and witty personality. And what did I do? Cry over my relationship issues. Like anyone wants to see that. Maybe I’ll tell you the story of how Harry and I fell in love next time. Or maybe the first time we met. Something happier than my tears. Pansy always said I’m an ugly crier—the jealous bitch—so no sad topics next time, I promise.”

Draco leaned forward; lips pursed as he tried to figure out how to turn it off.

“I’m not sure anyone is going to see this. Maybe that’s for the best. I just know I look like a cross between Doxy droppings and Weasley on a good day. I hope you all are having a better day than I am. I’m going to go as soon as I shut this off.”

Draco frowned, clicking a few buttons before he gave up and shut down the whole computer. The simplest solutions were for the best. He spun in the chair one more time facing the rest of their flat, wishing not for the first time that Harry hadn’t taken his happiness when he left.

——

Watching his little telly back was a painful experience. His charm and charisma were there, but it didn’t look as polished as some of the other little tellies he had seen. He’d just have to keep trying.

Draco was about to start a new one when he noticed that there were a lot more numbers than there should have been at the bottom. It had been two days since he had made it, and he expected there to only be his replay.

Not the 819,543 that stared at him. And every passing minute the number grew by the tens of thousands.

Draco double checked that he was on his little telly and not someone else’s before he covered his mouth. Did that many people see him cry? Merlin, what did he do? While the thought was horrifying, what truly scared him was that there were comments.

There were comments.

Oh no.

Draco groaned, already blaming all of this on Harry. And the internet, the internet could take the blame too. With one eye closed, he scrolled down.

NamelessHope 1 day ago Anyone else find this endearing? He’s like an old grandma that doesn’t know how the internet works.

Sorrymum 5 hours ago He’s so cute. Why can’t you be single?

Michael the Sexual Taco 2 minutes ago His partner is trash. It’s so obvious he’s in love. How could Harry not see it?

Bleach 2 days ago First!!!

CubesAreTriangles 13 hours ago Go bottom go!

Potatoes for Life 7 hours ago Nooooo don’t cry! If you cry I’m going to cry

Draco squinted at the comments. Why were Muggles so fucking weird? And what did they mean bottom? Did people just assume things like that? He liked to fuck and be fucked, thank you very much.

Meaty Meat 10 minutes ago Y r u gay

Draco snorted. Okay, maybe Muggles were entertaining.

Casey J 1 day ago I can’t tell if you’re just ranting or want advise. If it’s the former, then ignore me. But maybe Harry does know you love him. I think it’s obvious that you do, so he must know that. Maybe he needs it said too.

Randy Rants 8 hours ago You need couples therapy not the internet

ParsleySnips 2 days ago I totally cried

Pearl’s Pearly Pearls 2 days ago I want to be loved like you love Harry.

SwiperNoSwiping 1 hour ago If you two don’t break up you should do another video with him.

Draco scowled. They weren’t going to break up. A touch of hesitancy filled him at the thought. It had been 6 days since he last saw Harry. Not their worst fight, and he would’ve tried to find Harry and talk to him if it had been completely silent. But Harry sent a Patronus every morning that nuzzled him awake. The Patronus didn’t speak a message but the love he could feel was a message all on its own.

Karla S 1 day ago Am I the only one who caught that he said spell? Is your father a devil worshiper?

Gigi’s my Daddy 2 days ago Little tellies. That’s so cute. That should be our fandom name when you blow up.

Gay4You 20 hours ago I’ve never been invested in someone else’s love life this much. If you and Harry don’t make up I’m going to riot.

Draco looked through several more comments before he pushed away from the computer. There were a few rude ones and a lot more supportive ones, but all of it made him nervous. He didn’t like that so many people knew about his feelings. It was his own fault for making the little telly, but he didn’t think anyone was going to see it!

Part of him was panicking. He could delete it, probably, if he asked the lady in his phone how. But did he want to? Draco bit his lip, unsure what to do. If he deleted it, all those people who saw it would still remember it, so he’d only be stopping new people from viewing it.

Before he could go over the pros and cons of either option, the front door slammed open, causing him to yelp and jump out of the chair.

Hands raised, Draco glared at Harry, who was staring at him intently, chest moving rapidly.

“What is wrong with you?” Draco sneered. “I nearly came out of my skin. If you’re trying to kill me, you almost succeeded. Merlin don’t do that a—”

Draco cut off when Harry marched toward him, eyes still intense. His mouth was still open, ready so say something, but nothing came out when warm hands cupped his cheeks.

“Draco, I’ve always known you loved me.”

Oh no.

He closed his eyes tightly. Harry watched his little telly. How? Why?

“Hey,” Harry whispered, thumbs moving in a gentle caress. “Look at me.”

Draco shook his head. He didn’t want to.

“I’m sorry.”

That had his eyes opening before they widened. “What?”

“We’re so different,” Harry began with a wry chuckle. “Everything about us is different. And for some reason I forgot that. I assumed that our love language was the same. But the beautiful thing about languages is how different they are. I expected yours to be the same as mine and I was wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Draco hated that his voice wavered.

“You’re right, I do say I love you a lot.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Draco hurried to explain. “I didn’t mean it to sound—”

“I know,” Harry shushed him, a thumb placed over his bottom lip. “I say it because I don’t want you to forget that I love you.”

Draco shook his head, wanting to tell Harry that he could never forget. How could he? But he didn’t want to interrupt.

“When I was little, I didn’t just want to be loved by my relatives, I wanted to love them too. But they hated me, and the feeling was mutual. I wanted to love someone just as much as I wanted to be loved. And I guess I say it so much as a reminder to never forget that. I love you, Draco and I can’t help but say it over and over again.”

“I know,” Draco parroted as he pressed a kiss to the thumb still over his lip. “I love that you say it so much. I don’t want you to stop. Lately, you’ve been saying it less.”

Harry’s eyes closed briefly. “I’m sorry. You don’t always say it back and that hurts. I thought you didn’t want me to say it. I thought—”

“No,” Draco shook his head again, this time more violently. “Please no. I’m sorry. I want to say it more, and I promise I’ll try but please don’t stop saying it if I can’t.”

Harry shushed him again and if he wasn’t so close to crying, he’d probably have hexed Harry for treating him like a scared child.

“You do show me that you love me,” Harry said, eyes soft and full of the love that Draco wasn’t sure he could live without. “All the time and that’s your love language. You show me through actions, and I needed the reminder.”

“I want to give you the love you deserve,” Draco whispered, blinking rapidly, willing himself not to cry. “You deserve to hear it just as much as you give it. And I’m sorry I don’t do that.”

“I don’t need it,” Harry argued, eyes narrowed. “And don’t you dare presume to know what I deserve. I get to decide that, and I’ve already given you my heart. So it’s up to you to keep it safe.”

Draco inhaled sharply. Harry’s love was special. “I want to love you vocally too. I want to love you the way you love me.”

“The way you love me is exactly what I need.”

Draco’s nose wrinkled. “I feel like you’re settling.”

“Not your decision.”

“Harry—”

“Draco,” Harry began, flicking him in the forehead. “If you want to say it more, I won’t object. I’m just telling you that I don’t need it like I thought I did. We’re in love and it doesn’t matter how different we show it. The love is still there.”

“Okay,” Draco sniffled, wiping his nose on Harry’s shoulder when he was pulled into a strong embrace. After days of no contact, he basked in their combined warmth. A feeling he had missed more than he thought possible.

Draco turned his head, mouth near Harry’s ear as he whispered,

“I love you.”

If Harry held on tighter, and Draco felt a wetness on his neck, well that was no one else’s business.

~Fin

———

Short Extra

“Hi little tellies!” Draco waved at their new camera, one that Harry now manned, taking in Draco’s new hobby in stride.

“I had planned an intro like all the rest of them do but that’s so boring. Over here we’re better than everyone else. So I said fuck it and tossed it away. Let’s just get to the good stuff. You’ll never guess what Harry did yesterday. It was so embarrassing.”

“Do you have to embarrass me to so many people?”

Draco grinned, nose scrunching at Harry’s glare. He knew his followers wanted to see Harry, but Harry didn’t want to be in the little tellies like that. Plus, Draco kind of liked that it was just him.

“What do you mean?” Draco blinked, adopting an innocent expression that had stopped working on Dobby when he was three. “I’m just telling my friends.”

“Yeah,” Harry snorted, eyes on the subscriber count that was rapidly increasing. “All 3 million of them.”

It still blew his mind that so many people wanted to hear him talk about his life. He had known from the beginning that he could pull it off. Had always known he had more charm than everyone else on the internet. His little tellies were clearly superior.

And to think it all stemmed from his love of Harry.

-----

This is a story for @rieraclaelin who I know has been having issues reading fic lately so please don't feel like you have to read this at all. I just wanted there to be a gift for you whenever you do feel like readings stories. I adore you!

#Drarry #Draco Malfoy #Harry Potter #Youtuber Draco

[therealvinelle]

Oh! Okay so what if Elana Gilbert and Bella Swan swap places, (like, swap their brains i guess, so their friends and family still think theyre the same) what would happen to them? Would Elana survive Edward’s affections? Would Bella react well to Stefan and Damon? (I kno you only saw some of the show, but i think you saw all the seasons Elana is human, and thats what matters.)

Hm, well the vampires from The Vampire Diaries are human in every way that counts, they're essentially sexier humans with a funky diet.

Elena is in love with Stefan for Stefan, his vampirism is just a facet of him. Edward will be as horrifying to her as a Twilight vampire normally is to humans.

Bella, meanwhile, is in love with Edward for all the wrong reasons. She's not going to fall for Stefan and Damon.

What happens to Twilightified Elena

Depends on when Elena is thrown into Twilight. And on when it is for Elena as well, is it at the beginning of TVD? Because if so, then she's mourning her parents and doesn't know about anything supernatural.

If so, then Elena has a terrible time because she must mourn for her parents in this world where no one knows they died, in fact the internet tells her they never existed in the first place, and there's this well-meaning stranger who wants to father her in their place. The angst would be unreal.

But, Elena of canon wanted to tough it out and stay her partying self, even if only on the surface, so she'd become best friends with Jessica and Lauren, and go with them to every party imaginable.

Somehow or other she loses the Yandere simulator, and is eaten by Edward.

If we take Elena from the end of season 2, then this is an Elena who knows about the supernatural. Bodyswaps are a thing in TVD, so she's stunned to find it happened to her and worried about Bella Swan, but she's got her bearing.

Or so she thinks.

Turns out, the year is 2005.

She tries to get in contact with someone, anybody, from her own world. She searches for the Salvatores, for witches, and in a final last act of desperation she puts on an ad on craigslist to get Elijah.

There's no trace of any of them. Not even when she gets desperate enough to post "Petrova döppelganger looking for original vampire" on her myspace.

Nothing, not even Klaus, just silence.

More terrifyingly yet, it appears Mystic Falls doesn't exist anymore.

It's a terrified Elena Gilbert who walks into Forks High the day after.

She knows at a sight that there's something wrong with the Cullens. When Edward spends an entire hour glaring at her for daring to exist, she is officially creeped out.

Elena returns home very scared that day.

She's in a new place, she doesn't know how to get home, and there are terrifying people at her school who seem to have it out for her.

She spends the following week confirming that everything she ever knew has simply ceased to exist.

Then Edward returns to school after a week's absence, and asks a series of questions aimed at finding out who she is and why she came to Forks.

Elena starts putting two and two together.

Of three things, she is absolutely certain.

One, reality has been rewritten. The people and places in Elena's life no longer exists, nor does Elena herself for that matter.

Two, no one in this world apart from Elena herself appears to be aware that this has happened.

Three, the one other anomaly in this world is the Cullens. They're clearly not human, and act not unlike pod people than everybody else, in fact they interact with no one. Except Elena herself. Who is being singled out by them.

Elena comes to the terrifying conclusion that the Cullens are an unknown species, a powerful magical one, capable of rewriting the laws of reality.

And she doesn't know if she's an accident, if she's Neo misbehaving in the Matrix, or if this reality marble was created to entrap her specifically.

She decides she's had enough.

She has no powers, no resources, no contacts.

What she does have is her wits.

And, possibly, the element of surprise.

Armed with nothing, Elena gets in the truck and drives to the Cullen house, having gotten the address somehow, and made sure to tell Charlie, Jessica, Lauren, Mike, and her Myspace where she's going.

There, she marches up their porch, knocks on their door, and asks to speak with them.

The Cullens, on their end, are stunned.

From their point of view, this is the anonymous singer who's been tormenting Edward. Yes, she has a name and all that, but they don't know anything about her.

More, she should have no interest in them.

Wanting to appear in control of the situation, Elena calls them in to the living room for an honest conversation, all cards on the table.

Well shit, the Cullens say to themselves, Edward's singer had to be the one girl in North America who knows about vampires.

Now, I do believe Elena is too intelligent to blurt everything she knows immediately and lose her leverage.

No, she asks them if she was supposed to know or not.

The question makes perfect sense to her - is she an anomaly in the Matrix, could it be Jessica is in fact amnesia Caroline and Forks as a whole is actually just nu-Mystic Fall, or is it just Elena?

The Cullens, meanwhile, wonder how on earth this girl can think she was supposed to know she was Edward's singer and that they're vampires.

She may not know what she thinks she knows.

Carlisle tells her the truth. No, miss Swan, you were not supposed to know.

Taking this as confirmation that she's in the Matrix, Elena asks if there are others. She, of course, is wondering if there are other people, perhaps right here in Forks, either with amnesia or else keeping their heads low, who have been taken from the real world.

Or, more chillingly, if everyone is living fake lives in this fake world.

The Cullens, meanwhile, wonder what others she's talking about.

Carlisle takes the plunge. Either she knows what the word means or she doesn't, if she doesn't then she'll have nothing to google because this isn't known to humans at all, plus the word is only a rough translation of the Italian term.

"Other singers, you mean?"

Elena blinks.

Singers, like sirens?

The Cullens are terribly beautiful.

But... sirens?

She stows this away for future use.

Elena decides this conversation has been cryptic enough, and point blank tells the Cullens that she means people who don't belong in this reality at all.

I imagine there comes a point where Carlisle has to call Aro. The girl knows nothing about vampires, she thinks they're semi-harmless human-looking creatures that burn in the sun and can be killed by humans. She's not a problem in that regard.

So Aro gets a call from Carlisle, explaining how a human girl showed up on his doorstep claiming he had created an alternate reality, and that her world apparently has a different worldbuilding altogether.

Oh, and Carlisle's telepath son can't read her mind.

He is in Forks practically before Carlisle can hang up the call.

I imagine Elena gets to spend years as a human, because if the body of Bella Swan is somehow a link to another dimension, then altering that into another species might sever the link.

No, Elena, Aro, and Carlisle spend the following years in a Volterra lab, trying and failing to engineer a pathway back to her world.

In the end, if they're unsuccessful, Elena is turned into a vampire, and Aro has a jolly good time reading her memories from another dimension once she has the control to let her shields down.

Elena, who only ever wanted to be human and thought TVD vampires were too spicy to turn into, cries.

What happens to TVDified Bella

Bella somehow manages to feel guilty about not being Elena. This must all be her fault. Somehow.

An optimist as always, Bonnie dives headfirst into reversing whatever spell was put on her best friend.

She never succeeds, and both women are crushed by guilt over something not their fault.

Damon, I imagine, kills Bella sooner or later during a drunken outburst.

#damon salvatore #bella swan #elena gilbert #bonnie bennett #carlisle cullen #edward cullen #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #twilight headcanons #the vampire diaries #the vampire diaries meta

[hadit93]

https://frater370.blogspot.com/2021/05/magical-approach-to-plant-materia.html

This is a short piece on how I go about selecting, procuring, and using plant materia in my own magic. I have posted it on my other blog as it may be easier to read. I will also post it below.

Magical Approach to Plant Materia.

Overview.

My approach to plants has been influenced by several sources, some of which I have listed at the end, however it is far simpler and less involved. This has its costs as well as its benefits. I know what works for me, I know what mythos I like to clothe my magick in, and I know what is personally important to me as well as what is not. Therefore, it may seem like my approach is at odds with that of other people, and it is, but it is not at odds with myself! Try my methods out alongside the methods of others, experiment, and see what works for you.

Dried or Fresh?

One of the questions that people usually ask first is whether dried ingredients- the ones you usually buy from metaphysical stores- are okay to use in magick. Yes, they are. But fresh is always best. The same is true in cooking as well as magick. Fresh herbs, especially those picked from nature by the magical worker, contain more spirit within them, more essence. They are also more potent in their latent power. Notice I say latent, in magick the magician can awake the same power in dried herbs and consecrate it to work in alignment with their Will. But fresh herbs will have more of this latent power in abundance.

Sometimes certain plant materia is rare, expensive, or simply cannot be found within your climate. In this case, I recommend first seeing if there could be a local alternative, and if not, buying dried from a reputable seller. Of course if one is making incense from plant materia dried is naturally better to begin with.

Preparation Before Going Out Into The Fields.

Before going out collecting herbs I like to align my Will with the universal Will and local spirits. So first I wash my hands and face. Then I will go to my altar and pray and state my intention out loud. For example, “I wish to venture out and gather herbs for the sacred work of x” I normally have an idea of what plants. I want, and so I list those too, however, sometimes nature surprises with you with great additional plants or alternatives. I then petition the spirits of the local area and offer some fresh water and incense that they may help me favourably.

I then pack my things. This includes:

A small sharp knife which is capable of cutting plants and small pieces of wood cleanly and with one stroke.

A small silk lined bag. (I bought some silk and stitched it to the inside of a small bag)

A bottle of fresh spring water.

A smartphone which has a map for safety as well as an internet connection which allows for identification of plants.

Collecting Plant Materia From The Fields.

Most of the time I see a plant I know and want to work with. Other times I find I am drawn to plants as though they are calling me. In this case, I get out my smartphone and get to work identifying the plant. I check if its poisonous and superficially check if it is suitable for my working. If it isn’t but seems useful for another working I make a note of its location and leave it for now. I will detail how I decide what plants are used for later.

Once we come to a plant I want to pick I kneel by it. I place my hand upon it or just over it and I communicate with intent, energy, and words what I want to do. That is, I ask its permission to be an ally in my work. I then wait for a response. This tends to be an inner feeling of rightness or wrongness, both of these feelings are unmistakeable. Other times the plant seemingly responds a certain way to the wind which causes these feelings to arise. It is truly a matter of intuition and cannot be taught human to human.

If an agreement is reached I offer the plant spirit water and then cut only what I need from the plant and place it in my silk bag. Do not let it touch the Earth as the spiritual powers may become grounded. I recommend you research beforehand how to cut from different types of plants for the least harm. I then take my finger, dab it in the spring water and rub the wound of the plant channeling an intent to heal. Once again offer a little water to the plant, and thank it for its sacrifice.

If an agreement is not reached, which does happen from time to time, give your thanks and offer a little water anyway. Either move to a different plant of the same species nearby, or search for an alternative altogether. It may be that despite a book stating one herb as brilliant for this use, the local nature spirits may have a better alternative for the working at hand. Either way, we must respect the plants decision.

Obviously, if you are collecting dried herbs you are simply purchasing them from a reputable vendor. Whilst we cannot offer the plant water and some spiritual power may have been lost due to contact to the ground, or because it is ‘less fresh’ we can still awaken the latent power within them. I hold the dried herbs in my hand and reach out to the parent plant or plants. I then give thanks and blow into the herbs with my own life force. This in turn awakens the life force within.

Consecration.

Prior to magical work I take the herbs and wash them under the tap and place them in jars. Each plant in their own. I then gather materials for my ritual. There are many ways you can use plants in magic. You can create magical incenses, tinctures, teas, charm bags, mojo bags, and magical oils. The idea behind most of these methods is that the herbs are consecrated to a purpose and work alongside other herbs and materials to form a sort of spiritual being, an ally to do the work.

If in a charm or mojo bag the spirit will have to be fed with energy or condition oils. The rule appears to be that if you make a charm out of degradable materials, i.e., fresh herbs that rot and dried herbs that lose potency over time you need to continue feeding so that the spirit still has strength. In oils and tinctures this is not usually an issue as the oil or alcohol preserves the plant matter. So regular feeding is not required. Incense is also not required to be fed as the fire releases the spirit essence when it is burned.

There are different traditions as to the number of herbs used, the time of feeding, the method of feeding. As a rule of thumb- if it is a short-term goal once a week is fine. If it is a long-term goal for a slow manifestation process or ongoing process once a week for the first month and then once a month thereafter, or whenever it feels it needs it.

Occasionally, I set up a ritual magic setting, other times I do not. It depends on my mood and what exactly I am doing. For example, if the Herbs I have are for something to do with love I will sometimes perform the ritual of the Hexagram of Venus and channel that energy along with my own into the plant. This also allows you to call upon the energies of Venus to maintain the charge of the consecrated item. However, this is not necessary, your energy, Will and the spirits of the plants are sufficient. It is a good boost to have though if say you are using lots of dried materials. Another good idea is to consecrate a crystal or talisman (something more durable requiring less feeding) with the intent of maintaining the charge of the charm bag etc.

But in general, I take each individual plant and whisper my intent into it. Breathing my energy into it and drawing out the energy within it. I then add it to whatever it is I am creating. I do this with each one, spending some time with each herb. Sometimes if I have an appropriate incense I smoke the herbs over the incense. Once the product is constructed I whisper once more and breathe three times. I then seal it. This is true of all techniques I use except mojo bags which have a different procedure, albeit similar. But not wanting to get into the realms of cultural appropriation and being cancelled by children who have no concept of magical history or practice I shall not state the method here.

I normally feed with energy infused with breath, however, smoking through pertinent incense is also satisfactory. I normally use plant magic these days in oils and tinctures and use them to energise other things such as talismans as well as my own etheric body.

If a product has become spiritually inert I deconstruct it and bury the plant materials giving thanks and permission to depart. I then leave another offering of water and cover with Earth. It can be nice to bury the plant material near where you picked it and give thanks to the parent plant and local spirits. However, this is not always practical and your own back garden is absolutely fine! Unless it is a curse in which case away from the home, perhaps in a cemetery or church is better.

This is my own simple method. I have done and sometimes still do more involved rituals. But I don’t want to share them here. They are quite personal and in some cases are family traditions. I believe I have covered the essence of plant magic in a simple way which can be embellished with personal flair.

How I select plants.

I tend to start with the basics, what does it look like? What colours does it have? What are these colours associated with? I then branch out into folklore and myths surrounding the plants- what sorts of things did the stories have about the plants. What have they been traditionally used for in medicine? This allows you to start forming a tradition around the plant, a correspondence around the plant within which you can plug your magical intention. For example, we know Lavender is purple, purple is Yesod- the moon. Lavender has been used medicinally to calm and induce sleep. Therefore, lavender is a potent herb to include in a recipe for dream work. It is that sort of thinking.

Luckily, many people have already done this thinking for you. Which is the purpose of the resources list below. Like I say sometimes plants will call out to you, it is ultimately up to you to find out how they can work for you.

EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that uprooting wild plants is illegal and environmentally irresponsible in the U.K. I thought I made it clear but if not- never take the whole plant, only what you need. Always research how to take from a plant without harming it. An app is okay for identification on the go but always strive to have knowledge of the local species first. Sometimes I assume I have made things clear when I have not.

Resources.

Ars Philtron by Daniel Schulke.

Viradium Umbris by Daniel Schulke.

Thirteen Pathways of Occult Herbalism by Daniel Schulke.

Hoodoo Herb and Root Magic by Cat Yronwode.

Sticks, Stones, Roots, and Bones by Stephanie Rose-Bird.

The Witching Herbs by Harold Roth.

Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham.

#magick #witchcraft #occult #plantsmateria #sorcery

[jennagrinsoverml]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

Thanks @kasienda for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

14

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

197,322 

Although this includes two fics co-written with Karen, the other half of my main, so my personal total is lower. Of course, it also excludes quite a bit of writing I did before I created my AO3 account, so it probably evens out lol)

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I’ve written for more fandoms than you see on AO3 since I haven’t transferred over any of my old stuff (and have no intention of doing so.)

Unless I’m forgetting any, there’s 8: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel the Series, Charmed, Sailor Moon, Digimon, Avengers, Darkest Powers, Miraculous Ladybug. There’s also the Magic Mike fic I wrote as a joke for my friends back in 2004, but we don’t talk about that lmaooo

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Standard Deviation (Steve/Tony, Avengers)

The Closest Thing to Love (Love Square, Miraculous Ladybug)

Extrapolation ( (Steve/Tony, Avengers - the E-rated sequel to SD)

You Know Where My Heart Is  (Love Square, Miraculous Ladybug)

La Soeur de Mon Coeur  (Love Square, Miraculous Ladybug)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I definitely try! I’ve fallen behind and haven’t answered comments in a couple of weeks, but I will be playing catch up at some point. I just like to thank people for taking the time to comment, but I especially love when readers comment on a specific aspect of the fic and give me an excuse to talk about my writing lol

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Love Without Weakness ends pretty angsty, although I fix it in the sequels. And although I’ve been trying to write a second chapter to all this hope you sent into the sky (by now had crashed), I haven’t managed it yet, so as it stands its ending is pure angst.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics end pretty happily!  The Closest Thing to Love,  La Soeur de Mon Coeur and  On Bended Knee all end with (SPOILER ALERT) engagements, which is pretty damn happy! So until I get around to writing that wedding fic I’ve been planning, I guess I’ll have to say these.

8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

My very first fanfic was a Buffy/Charmed crossover lmaoooo. It might still be floating out there somewhere, I don’t know, I’m too afraid to check. I also have a half-written Sailor Moon/Digimon crossover fic on my hard drive that I started I think in high school? It will never be finished lol I’m not really interested in crossovers anymore though, and doubt I’ll write any in the future. Although I will be subtly stealing characters from other shows to round out the cast of my Big Bang fic since if I wanted to invent a million OCs I’d write original fic lol

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I’ve been posting on the internet since 1999 and ff.net was terrible for that.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, but feel like I’m definitely in the minority for that in ML fandom. Most fandoms I’ve been in ALL the big fics end with smut (or start with it or feature it throughout lol). But ML seems to prefer the more innocent stuff. 

Extrapolation, mentioned above, is the E-rated sequel to mine and Karen’s Steve/Tony Avengers college AU friends to lovers fic showing that transition to the lovers part of it. It’s not intercourse

Love Without Lies and  Love Without Limits are the two sequels to Love Without Weakness that again focus on that transition to a sexual relationship. First through dirty talk/fantasy, and then the reality of it.

Sex, Interrupted has non-explicit smut with married with kids sex. I tried to show something loving and desirous, but with the comfort of having been with the same person for a very long time after that initial passion and excitement has long since faded away.

Sweet, Sweet Fantasy was basically written because I hadn’t written a love square blow job and I wanted to fix that lmaoooo It’s just smut for the fun of it.

I guess all of my smut could be characterized as loving, sex positive and consensual.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A lovely reader translated Standard Deviation into Chinese and we got all kinds of fanart from those readers and it was a wonderful, wonderful experience. This was almost 10 years ago and it still makes me so happy every time I think of it. 

I also got a request to translate The Closest Thing to Love into Russian, which I’ve agreed to.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes, published there’s Standard Deviation and Extrapolation, as mentioned above.

My best friend at the time and I had written more than half of a Sailor Moon Christmas fic back in undergrad, and had the rest of it plotted out. It would’ve been amazing if we had finished it. Sadly she moved on from the fandom before we could finish it, and we’re no longer friends, so it will probably live half-written on my hard drive for eternity.

And @chatonne-rousse and I have a few planned fics, but we haven’t started any of the actual writing yet, so we’ll see.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

This is hard to answer for me because yes, right now I’m in full love square obsessive mode, but I’ve been here before. And while I’ve never written so much for any other pairing, I don’t know if it’s my ALL TIME favourite ship. 

Like, Usagi/Mamoru is my original OTP and the fandom I return to over and over again through the years, even if I haven’t written anything for them since 2002 lol And I’ve found myself returning to Darcy/Elizabeth many times as well. By contrast, Buffy/Angel was the first ship I ever wrote for and it’s probably still the couple I’ve written the most fics for by number, but I don’t really think about them anymore.

Will Love Square be one of those ships I keep coming back to? Only time will tell.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I still feel sad that Karen and I didn’t finish Confidence Interval, our planned third fic in the Statistically Significant universe. About half of that is written, but we kept running into issues with the plot and it wasn’t coming together and then we both lost our Avengers hyperfixation.

For ML, I’m not sure. I know objectively that I can’t possibly finish all of my WIPs. I just don’t have enough time. But I’m still hopeful that I’ll get to them all!

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Dialogue.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Description.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I’m not a fan.

I spent a long time in anime fandoms and there was a tendency to have random Japanese phrases and words floating in the fic. I probably did it too at some point. 

But it’s kind of stupid? Like, the anime characters are speaking Japanese, the ML characters are speaking French. Regardless of what language you’re writing in, that’s the language of the characters. So when you randomly use words from that language, it’s pointless and usually just fucks up the grammar and syntax and, for me, distracts from the story.

I think it’s okay when you’re using an expression that doesn’t directly translate, or are using the French to make a pun work (because, of course, Adrien would be punning in French) or are using Chat or one of their nicknames. I think it has effect there.

But generally, I just don’t see the point. Sorry if that’s kinda salty.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

My very first fic was a Buffy/Charmed crossover, and then I wrote a bunch of BtVS fics.

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

The Closest Thing to Love. I spent about 6-8 months working on that fic obsessively, to the point where I could barely even handle reading other people’s fics because I kept getting distracted with thoughts of my own. But I’m so happy and proud of how that one turned out! It’s the longest fic I’ve ever written on my own, and I’m so pleased with how it came together.

Thanks for giving me the chance to ramble on about myself, @kasidenda! lol

Tagging: @chatonne-rousse, @somethingvaguetodo, @overworkedunderwhelmed, and anyone else who wants to play!

#my thoughts #life of a writer #ask games #(not really but I don't have a tag for these kinds of things)

[sunfoxfic]

You mentioned you might be missing something about the idea of sentiAdrien being a metaphor for abuse, and you said that you think it doesn’t make sense because the face-value realistic abuse should be enough.

I think the biggest missing piece in sentimonster discourse is that social media is an echo chamber of grown adults watching a cartoon that was originally targeted at little kids. And I guarantee you the little kids are NOT analyzing anything the way we do. They barely pay attention to the “plot” at all. They’re just here for funee heroes and villains, maybe love triangle antics. Adrien’s “obvious” abuse flies right over their heads.

Since season one they could see that Gabriel is the type of dad no one wants to have, and the reveal that he’s Hawkmoth makes it very obvious to them that he’s not just a strict helicopter but a literal supervillain. What I’m getting at is that this wouldn’t be the first time they’ve used very blatant parallels between the realistic stuff and magical stuff to make the realistic stuff (non-magical emotional abuse) more obvious.

To the 26 y/o viewers, it’s obvious that Gabe has a grip on Adrien and controls his actions, but the 6 y/os aren’t paying attention to that. Telling them that Gabriel literally “created” Adrien to be the image of perfection and can use an unfair, powerful influence to force him to do whatever he wants, even if Adrien doesn’t want to, would make it very clear what’s going on.

TL;DR the “in-your-face magical metaphors for real life problems” in miraculous aren’t here for the grown viewers who’ve been through a high school English program and debate/write analysis essays about a kids’ cartoon on the internet, they’re for the young children the cartoon was made for who wouldn’t think about this stuff otherwise.

I think there's a lot of nuance in this because like. There is a degree to which kids internalize the underlying message of shows even without analyzing. Kids aren't dumb and stories are innate to humanity. If someone says, "This show is saying things thematically that I don't think are safe for child consumption," that shouldn't be shut down by saying, "But children will never pick up the themes because they aren't doing rigorous academic analysis."

That said, it is true that there are things buried thematically in stories that you aren't going to pick up on unless you're doing analysis that six year olds aren't capable of. And the internet is a big part of it -- analysis is a group effort. There's no way you can understand a story, especially a story as long as ML, in its entirety without someone pointing out a detail you wouldn't have picked up on your own. It's the collection of all information and analyses that actually makes academic analysis worth it. Doing it on your own is fun and important, but I know that I wouldn't understand ML as well as I do if I weren't surrounded by other people also picking it apart the way I am.

Your comparison of sentiAdrien as an allegory for abuse to supervillain Gabriel as an allegory for abusive parents is astute, I think. The fact of the matter is that in both cases, there is realistically portrayed abuse which is compounded by magical abuse. One doesn't cancel the other out. And that was kinda the point I was making in the original post: I think people using the word "allegory" or "metaphor" to describe how sentiAdrien relates to actual, realistic abuse are ignoring that within the confines of the show, it is actual, realistic abuse.

#sentimonster adrien agreste #asks answered #cayenne-twilight #sentimonster discourse