#i mean‚ I'll do what i have to do

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this'' #and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion'' #so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop! #and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

[egophiliac]

swipes everything else off of the table to yell about diasomnia flower bookmarks

(I gave Silver one too :D)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #white rabbit festival #me: oh boy i wonder what excitement will happen in this new part #characters: now it is time to buy souvenirs :) #me: oh god #jk jk even when the filler is kind of painful i do enjoy the little character moments #like everyone screaming as loud as they can into silver's watch #deuce busting out his suzy izzard impression #SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! #and of course silver assigning flowers to the other dias and getting all sappy over lilia. god. delicious. #you don't understand this ten second long scene is everything to me #though we all know the real highlight #the knowledge that 1) deuce used to have an extremely silly edgy badass nickname #2) he almost certainly gave it to himself #3) he harassed epel's extended family to the point that they told horror stories about him and he was briefly epel's personal idol #epel: i heard he once killed three men with but a look #deuce: what no i never...i mean...ha ha sounds weird nothing a model student like me would know about #also deuce: if you fuckers don't apologize to my mom right now i'll fucking kill all of you (sees dilla) uhhh i mean #deuce: i challenge you to a children's game #black bunnies leader: (strapping on his duel disk) i accept #meanwhile silver is running full speed at a group of children screaming to them about donuts #we aren't going to talk about what ortho did with that fantasy-gregg's sausage roll #so glad that we've reached the 'what the heck is even happening' portion of the event #anyway i completely screwed up the resolution of these so here's hoping they don't look terrible! #whoops!

[thatonequeeraunt]

An alignment of shows with queer themes (imo)

#I'll probably have to add more to this in the future #edgy in my case meeting it just has a more serious straightforward premise i suppose #also let me know if you find a black text transparent logo for First Kill #ofmd #our flag means death #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #interview with the vampire #iwtv #good omens #abbott elementary #only murders in the building #omitb #the sandman #the umbrella academy #tua #stranger things #the last of us #tlou #shameless #bojack horseman #hannibal #queer shows #queer themes #happy pride 🌈

[rapidhighway]

HI, i'm just gonna drop this in your lap and run actually, a future AU

#this is an au #idk what im gonna do after i post this #i mean i know i have assignments to do #im literally just trying to be ambitious if i finish this it won't be long hueueue #OK BYEEE #shadow the hedgehog #art #comic #sonic #sth #sonic fanart #HHEHHEHEHEHEEEE #say something to me ask me something im literally so nervous rn fdsefdfrgdfc #i hope posting a spread like this will work i just #think it's cool when the two pages connect together and stuff #hope everything's visible if not i'll post normally later or something hnngg #tw blood #ok this will be short i prommy idk when i'll do page 3-4 but it will be simpler than this one #IF i'll draw more HHAHAHHAHAHAHA

[rascal-rose]

2023: year of old man yaoi

#pizza tower #antonblast #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #does anton have his own tag? I mean from what I gather his name is anton blast so wh #also Im still trying to figure out how to draw anton bear with me 😔 #also also prommy I'll do art of anton and his crew thats not shipping related prob more when his game drops and I know more about em #drawing #digital mess #does this ship got a name btw? I've seen multiple names for it thrown around

[sergle]

When ppl will create a "curvy" girl character and get pretty much the whole body's proportions right, obviously they're putting emphasis on bust/hips but it seems like it's being executed well--- except that they completely, fully, and deliberately, skip the stomach entirely. Just nothin there. Not even a whisper. I'm like. Just sack up, make it make sense and be honest with yourself by making it official and say it's canon that they got a tummy tuck. You cowardly ass, yellow bellied, wet brained, upside-down dog mouthed dirty bitch.

#it'll look so uncanny bc it'll be like oh this more or less looks like it could be a body type I've seen on a real pers--- oh wait #you TOTALLY flattened the stomach for like no goddamn reason and you still want points for making her curvy. pass. #if ppl clown on this post I will not hesitate to turn off rbs and call a bomb threat to your house #sergle.txt #do you know what I mean though. like actually #you want EVERY aspect of a body type that does in fact. exist. very commonly actually. in the proportions you want #you want it all but you are so allergic to ANY substance on the stomach. so what now. #anything but the stomach. literally impossible to draw apparently #I'll be like ah maybe it's obscured with the clothing or pose but I see other art and I'm like oh no nvm it's on purpy. #''why does it have to be a plausible body type'' why put in any effort at all. why draw. why depict women ever. why wake up in the morning #nut up or shut up.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

rough day...

#i might come back and color this. Eventually.... #scribbled this after a busy day of lots of moving things into storage and hauling boxes around #i felt a bit like a workhorse! #at some point i sat down on the uhaul w/ my water and thought. Wow. How Does Eddie Manage #poor guy deserves a break... #he needs a day off smh #i mean the neighborhood would fall apart w/o him probably but still. he needs a vacation! #he works too hard! someone tell him to prioritize himself for once! #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #eddie dear #alrighty well its 12 am i need to get up in less than 6 hours and i still have Several Things To Do before i can sleep! #so! queuing this and getting those last chores done #wait fuck. what where they #well! i'll remember when i get up to do them! probably! #yknow 7 hours into tomorrow's drive im gonna be like OH FUCK I FORGOT THE [insert task here] #oh. shit did i eat dinner? hm... im not gonna be ready for breakfast when i wake up #so i might as well add 'quick cup of noodles' onto tonight's Before-Sleep list.... #im rambling! sorry! #anyway i have Much affection for eddie! somebody get him a spa day and some shiny new stamps!!!

[siristaci]

It's official-

when I search my symptoms, the results have changed from "that could be cause for concern; or you're just pregnant." to "you could be in labor; or you're just 9 months pregnant."

#🤣🤣🤣 #I'm so done #but I'm also really not ready #but it's kinda too late to change my mind now lol #i wouldn't‚ really‚ I'm just panicking because it's almost time #oh speaking of time #my induction is set for 715 #IN THE MORNING #I've been getting to sleep around 6am recently #i have no idea how I'm gonna do this #I've heard it's possible to sleep through most of early labor if you get an epidural #but i was actually kinda hoping to try unmedicated #i mean‚ I'll do what i have to do #i really don't expect to get through the whole thing unmedicated #but I'd like to try #which means I'll have to be well-rested by fucking 7am #pregnancy #mine

[areyoudoingthis]

I am SO grateful that ed and stede exist as characters exactly as they are. I'm so grateful for these two men who are traumatized and messed up and struggle to even like themselves, who are terrible at communicating, who make enough mistakes between the two of them to fill an entire ocean. I am so grateful to watch them struggle and be seen and be loved and reach out for the things they want and are maybe starting to believe that they deserve. I'm so grateful that the show lets them fall in love and get together exactly as they are, that it doesn't say they need to wait until they've become some unattainably perfect version of themselves before they have permission to have that. i am so grateful for ofmd

#ofmd #there are no other shows like this one #I'm so tired of media that repeats the same idea that you need to hit a list of predetermined therapy milestones (determined by who???) #before you can fall in love #I'm honestly tired of fic that does this with ed and stede too #because guess what #you can live in the 21st century with access to therapy and dsm diagnosis and a bunch of different medications and you can be doing all the #right things and still be a trainwreck!!! #putting in the work doesn't mean you're gonna become perfect and never have problem again any more than falling in love doesn't mean you'll #never have problems again #I'll forever be crying on my knees levels of grateful for the unique writing on this show #for saying that it's okay you can be a mess you can take one step forward and three steps back and you'll still always be deserving #of love and grace and forgiveness #you don't have to do anything to deserve you deserve it just because you exist #i love this show with my entire heart #alex watches ofmd

[tofixtheshadows]

Hello, op! While I do find your reading of Kabru’s self sacrifice and how little he eats really good, im curious why you consider him the deuteragonist? He is a foil to the protagonist yes, but still a supporting character.

I think its pretty clear Marcille is the second most important character in DM, and her story has much more weight than Kabru’s.

Hello! I've mentioned this on my blog before, but I actually consider Marcille and Kabru to both be deuteragonists to Laios's protagonist. I just wasn't talking about Marcille in that post.

Technically this term is meant to be used in playwriting, and the Greek tradition at that, so I'm playing a little loosey goosey with semantics and my argument would sound different if I were writing an academic paper. But this is tumblr dot edu and I'm trying to get a point across on my little blog, and part of the idea of a deuteragonist is that they support the protagonist. "Secondary main character who has their own importance in the narrative while bolstering the protagonist" works well enough for my purposes.

I think Marcille and Kabru are both playing specific and complementary roles to Laios. Marcille is at his side, facilitating the A plot: namely, "save Falin", which requires Marcille's magic, and then Marcille's method of resurrection ropes Thistle in, so the continuation of "save Falin" necessitates confronting the Dungeon Lord and conquering the dungeon (the B plot).

Kabru only intersects with Laios, but he is tied from the beginning to the B plot- and with dragging basically everyone else into it. Actually, the fact that he brings in this extremely loaded B plot despite only having brief face time with the protagonist should be seen as significant. In a sense, Kabru represents the surface world and all its concerns.

Before I talk about that more, I want to continue with the complementary line of thinking and point out that Kabru and Marcille have very similar background motivations.

Laios wants to save his sister first and foremost, and it's only along the way that he starts to consider what he'd do with the responsibility of Dungeon Lord. Coming to the conclusion that he wants to create a home for disparate peoples to live in harmony has connective tissue to both Kabru and Marcille's desires.

Marcille is the only one in their party who starts out with a greater motivation other than saving Falin (Izutsumi is a special case, but she's ultimately along for the ride), one that she keeps hidden for a long time. Because she is a mage, and because she is driven by a very personal tragedy (my dad died; I am terrified of outliving everyone), she is looking for a miracle to bring the different races closer together.

Kabru comes from a background of personal tragedy as well, but it's also a far greater, more political tragedy than just the death of a parent. It is not a coincidence that Kabru is a brown boy from an exploited region that suffered despite and because of military intervention from a first-world power, nor that he was adopted by a white woman whose coddling/dehumanization of him represents the paternalistic oversight of these world powers.

Thus, Kabru's motivations are both personal and political: if they, the short-lived races, can finally access the secrets of the dungeons, then not only can they have agency in stopping tragedies like Utaya's, but it will also give them a greater power of self-determination.

Marcille and Kabru have both correctly identified and set themselves against a problem that is greater than saving the life of one girl, greater even than sealing this one dungeon.

Despite Marcille's hopes, there is no grand magic solution to this. Only small, slow, backbreaking, ordinary solutions, the kind you labor over in kitchens and bedrooms and throne rooms and meeting houses and hearths and negotiation tables. The kind you run a kingdom with.

There is a reason why Dungeon Meshi ends with Marcille and Kabru on either side of Laios's throne.

Okay: back to Kabru (under the cut).

I've talked about this a little before, but I'll reiterate here: I consider Kabru to be the counterweight to the back half of the story. In a very literal sense too, as he pulls the focus up from the depths to the surface not once, but twice. Dungeon Meshi builds itself on the premise that the traditional "dungeon" must function as an actual ecosystem, and the monsters in it are biological actors in that ecosystem and not merely magical obstacles independent of their environment. The first couple dozen chapters are focused on this. Like regular animals, monsters have needs and instincts and unique behaviors, and they can be killed and consumed as part of a food chain.

And then Kabru comes along and he reminds us that humans are also part of their own special ecosystem, with their own needs and instincts and unique behaviors, and that beyond the biological drive of the literal food chain there are also complex social issues influencing these behaviors (like capitalism). Tansu's visit with the governor introduced us to these ideas, but Kabru is the one who carries them.

The way he and his party break down Laios's party also serves an important function. I think most readers are so busy being shocked that Kabru is "so wrong" about our goofy boy Laios that they don't realize that he isn't actually wrong about anything (he's only missing the context of what drives Laios, which he admits to and is part of the reason why he pursues him). We've gotten only Laios's view of things so far, and Laios is pretty tunnel-visioned. The narrative, through Kabru, is telling the reader this is how our protagonist actually comes across to his community.

We like Laios because we are following his story from his inner circle. We know he's naive and struggles with people but that he has a good heart and is ultimately just a big silly guy who won't harm anybody if he can help it. But we only know that because we're seeing him with his inner circle, in his environment. Outside of the dungeon, Laios is anti-social to the point of rudeness; he misreads situations and misjudges people, he acts in ways that cause friction, and he accidentally aligns himself with people who make his whole enterprise look suspicious: a prominent half-foot community leader, a mysterious foreigner literally surrounded by spies, the disgraced daughter of a criminal who now has to shoulder the burden of her father's reputation, and an elf in a land where there are no elves. And they seem to be very good at what they're doing. Yet this whole time, Laios acts as if he doesn't care about profit or taking the kingdom, the only logical reasons why anyone on the Island would gather up such a party and throw themselves into this death pit day after day.

Yeah of course Kabru finds this suspicious and interesting. Of course people don't know what to make of Laios. This all reiterates the question that Zon the orc already raised: What will you do, Laios, if you defeat the Mad Mage? If you gain control of all of this? Can you be a leader? Laios himself doesn't know yet.

This is all necessary context for our protagonist and the journey he has to go on, and it's fittingly brought up by the most socially adept character, who is so concerned with human ecosystems and the bigger picture of the dungeon. There is a reason why Kabru, as a character, is connected to large webs of people as he moves throughout the narrative: his own party, Toshiro's party, the Canaries, the denizens of the first floor of the dungeon.

Kabru is responsible for bringing Toshiro down to Laios's party. Toshiro is not a big mover and shaker in the story itself, but his confrontation with Laios is a huge part of Laios's character arc. His detour down to the lower levels also allows Izutsumi to escape and join Laios's party later.

We also have this very important moment:

It shows the first inkling- to the audience, to Kabru, and to Laios himself- that Laios is willing to do a painful, necessary thing to protect other people, that he won't just allow them to become collateral for his sister/monsters. That he can listen, and that he can assess a situation beyond his personal feelings. Again, fittingly, big-picture-thinker Kabru is the catalyst for this.

And then, not content to leave him as merely a device for Laios's character growth, the focus slingshots back up to the surface, and we follow Kabru.

The Canaries were going to go into the dungeon soon anyway, and they were always going to stir up the crowd in order to lure Thistle to them. Unless Thistle had given up right then and managed to slip away, the story could have very easily ended here:

Falin, immobilized and surrounded by Canaries, would have certainly been killed, and there would have been no way to ever resurrect her. Thistle would have been neutralized. The dungeon would have been taken by the elves, and anyone they could get their hands on would have been imprisoned at best. And maybe the dungeon would have been managed safely ... or maybe something would have gone wrong, and more lives would have been lost. Remember: the Canaries arrived in Utaya one year before the tragedy.

This is a huge moment that changes Laios's life forever, and he doesn't even know it. Kabru single-handedly keeps the story on course by sabotaging the Canaries, and he does it not just for Laios's sake, but for everyone's sake. For his friends and companions in the dungeon and everyone else outside it. Laios is a part of his motivation, a key player in Kabru's hopes, but Kabru has his own desires, his own agenda. He's trying to change the world. In a way, he succeeds. And while the Canaries might wish it were otherwise, as an entity in the narrative they are always anchored to Kabru's character. The two forces collide because of Kabru. The unsealing of the Winged Lion and Marcille's emergency ascension to Dungeon Lord happen indirectly because of Kabru.

While I have talked so much already that I don't want to give a detailed breakdown of it, I do want to mention Kabru's unique interiority as a character. That is to say: we see the inside of Kabru's head more than anyone else. Every character in the main ensemble gets their own moments of inner monologues or fifteen minutes in the limelight, but for Kabru, it's constant. He's always thinking, talking, narrating. His POV chapters always stand out for how first-person they feel compared to most others.

Notably, the only other character I could compare that to is Marcille, specifically during the dungeon rabbit debacle and her ascension afterward, which is when she really takes center stage as a character.

I hope I've explained my reasoning without becoming too insufferable.

To cap off my thoughts with a nod to my original post, I cannot stress enough how significant it is, thematically, that Kabru's relationship with food is the inverse of Laios's. It isn't just that Laios is the main character in a story about cooking monsters and Kabru happens to be his monster-hating foil. The artistic choice to deny the reader the visual of this character ever enjoying food, and only ever putting it in his mouth in situations where it hurts him, in a manga that gives so much attention to eating and the pleasures of meals, cannot be understated.

#Dungeon Meshi #Marcille Donato #Kabru #Kabru of Utaya #Dungeon Meshi meta #Dungeon Meshi spoilers #I started answering this at 10:30 AM but took several detours #mostly I was at work. some people shitpost at work. god knows what I'm doing. #I am so fucking sorry I did not mean for it to be this long. I had to EDIT THIS DOWN #paging malewifesband I feel like this does the trick wrt: Kabru's function in the narrative #of course I have more to say about he and Laios specifically (she threatened) #musings with Dea #I think I'll go back and add image descriptions but it's been eight hours and I need dinner! #and also to play FFXIV #dungeonposting #Dea's anonymous friends

[yuwuta]

yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always. 

#atp i need to shut and write the omega verse fics that consistency plague my mind #but while im here time for my obligatory megumi mention bc i mentioned dogs teehee #yes megumi attack dog hes megumi grumbly yes megumi bark bark bite bite BUT BUT BUTTTT #megumi is also used to like... hm........ taming? having? caring for? people in his life and also literal (divine) dogs #so for him yes he bites and barks #but he also... he gets confused if YOU dont follow him around like a puppy bc everyone else in his life has so why not you? #gojo's always been the annoying yapping pomeranian chewing on his arm even if he didn't ask #always in megumi's space even tho he didn't ask but he learned to deal with it #won't admit it but knows that too much attention is better than having someone who couldn't give a shit about you #yuuji is the golden in everybody's life and megumi is no exception #unmovable unshakeable and incredibly addictive even if he doesn't mean to be #and very very attached to the people he cares about so yeah yuuji is loud and annoying but he's also loyal and megumi respects that so fine #nobara is like... she decided she liked megumi and was upset about it so she bit his ankle and he tried to kick her off but she has too muc #pride to get shaken off by someone as scrawny as megumi and somewhere along the way megumi became impressed that she was still there even i #it hurt a bit and she was a little rough it's not like he was worse so fine whatever she can stay too #so if you like... if you dont hover around megumi if you dont pry if you dont prod then he has to be the dog smh #now he's gotta bite for your attention and nudge you and how annoying. he's gonna keep doing it tho. as long as he has to #or until you learn to fall in line and accept your leash too whichever comes first n e way.... anyway............. #somebody's pampered omega always gets what he wants megumi complex is showing...... #this was about yuuta right? ok i'll put his tags now.... #juju #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader

[demaparbat-hp]

Progress

#zutara #atla #avatar the last airbender #zuko #katara #wip #Haven't drawn his scar yet #And I'm actually debating whether to give Katara's hands scars or not #What do you guys think? #This artwork is taking me ages #Blame college ugh #Also have I ever mentioned how lazy I am when it comes to backgrounds? #I mean it depends on the artwork I guess... #I really enjoyed doing the background for that HalfBlood Katara piece. This comic tho.... #It's taking me ages to finish already. Backgrounds too? Not this time #Anyways I'll keep you all updated #Dema out

[marclef]

guess who's (slowly) comin' back baby

wanted to try making the squishy boy more expressive 🤗

#hello. i am still in pain. i'm slowly getting better though!! #i would really like to not have these tubes inside of me any more though. i do not like the blood tubes. #what do you mean i'm gonna have fluids leaking from me if you take off a bunch of my skin and fat????????? #uhhhh. so anyways. the uhh. the normal tags yeah. #my art #pizza tower #pizza tower fake peppino #pizza tower noise #hopefully i'll be able to draw more now. drawing wasn't too bad and I WANNA DRAW MY SQUISHIES AGAIN DARNIT-

[ruvviks]

// COMMISSIONS!

opening up general commissions so i thought i'd make a new post, most info is already in the slides but i require a document with information and references before we can get started, list below!

// WHAT YOU'LL PUT IN THE DOC.

which type of commission you want (head/bust/half body + lines/color)

short description / introduction of your oc

at least one visual reference but preferably more; face claim, art, picrew (if the maker allows it), NO a/i art!

additional visual references such as pose, clothing, tattoos, and color scheme; if you don't have any preferences, you can skip this!

additional details that i need to keep in mind (freckles, scars, stuff like that)

what kind of background you'd like (solid color, gradient, dual color)

// NOTES.

DM me before paying! i would like to see references first before receiving payment, so i'll know what i'll be working on!

if there's no open slots left, i can put you on the waiting list and i'll reach out to you as soon as i've worked through my queue :D i work in batches as to not overwork myself, so i cannot give you an indication on how long you'll be on the waiting list

i'll keep you updated throughout the entire process, please keep an eye on your tumblr dms when commissioning me for smooth communication! i'm willing to move to discord for communication too, but if i don't know you well please keep it professional

i might charge extra for complicated background pattern requests, complicated armor or complicated tattoos, but feel free to request anything because we can always discuss details about stuff!

the end result is a digital artwork of your oc, you will not receive any physical goods!

you’re allowed to post the art wherever and use it for icons and such, as long as you don’t take credits for the art yourself. you are not allowed to sell it or use it for n/f/t or a/i purposes

ko-fi: ko-fi.com/nuclearvessel

#commissions #rbs much appreciated!! <3 #i'll have anywhere between 2-4 slots open at a time depending on complexity of the art!! #i'll try to reply to dms i get timely but please go easy on me if i take a while. my blog also runs on a queue so if you see me posting #that's probably my queue and it doesn't mean i'm actively online at the time! #anyway you can also check my art tag on my blog for more examples if you're interested in what i do :^)

[introspectivememories]

god i know i said i was tired of making eveerything sad but just imagine timber those first few months of reconnecting and they're both drunk on tim's boat, laying on the deck staring up at the stars and bear turns over to look at tim, his eyes are sad and wet, and he reaches out to touch tim's face as if to make sure tim is really there and not an illusion and tim whispers, "bear?" and bernard smiles a little brokenly and goes, "so how long do i have you for this time?"

#tim fully sober now: what do you mean? i'm right here bear #bear still drunk: i got you for almost a whole year last time. how long before you leave this time? #bear: 2 years? 6 months? #tim sadly: you can have me forever bear #bear laughing: i don't even get you that long in my dreams #bear smiles reaching out to poke tim's face: don't worry tim! anytime you want to come back‚ i'll be right here. #god tim who's constantly leaving and bear who knows but cant help letting him comeback into his life again and again #you cannot tell me that bear went to that first date in urban legends expecting tim to stay #he went to that date expecting to get his heart broken again but he loves this boy so he goes anyway #tim who always leaves and bear who waits patiently everytime #sorry im like sobbing in the library #bear is so 'right where you left me' coded #bear who loves tim so much he'll let tim break his heart again and again #head in hands head in hands #dc #tim drake #bernard dowd #timbern #timber

[bunnyhysteria]

does anyone wanna talk about how the fandom has hyper projected onto shen yuan and went the mile with at least a leap of interruptation of one line yet turn a blind eye to the rest of canon?

specifically I'm talkin about the broke american college studentification of shen yuan coupled with the fanon that he's chronically ill. these are two beasts of their own and should be tackled differently so I will.

I personally and strongly disagree with how a lot of fanon portrays shen yuan with messy hair, a large hoodie, disgustin room, and general I guess losercore aesthetics lmao. and now I'm even wondering if he was explicitly a college student or if it was just fanon based on that he's at least 20 years old. I feel this is a mental image constructed not from canon, but the idea of what kind of person would be his age and show his behaviour online... from a western perspective.

I believe that he would be far more put together, especially as he is a rich pretty boy in modern china. the difference in acceptable levels of casual, especially for a son of a very wealthy family, are much different between america and china. honestly I do find it a bit sad I wear a slightly frilly button up shirt and a short skirt and suddenly I'm a model in my area but I digress. I definitely think that shen yuan would probably even be actively into street fashion, give how well he seems to take to shen qingqiu's own pretty boy life. I also have a hard time believin that such a low life style person would readily take to the upkeep and demands of life as an immortal master with specialty in the fine arts.

there's also something to say about his resemblance to shen qingqiu (re: mushroom body), as well as I've seen some people claim that shen yuan was tall due to his lack of reaction nor stumbling with his new towering height. while the two adaptions I know if depict him with short hair, I think he could have readily had longer hair as well, maybe shoulder or so length. if "not reacting" is grounds to stand on (which is also used for the chronically ill headcanon), one could reasonably point out he doesn't seem to have any trouble with his now waist length locks. even slowly growing out my hair I'm having shocks to what the life entails, so I can't imagine being fully chill with sudden long hair. however, with the it's modern china argument for fashion, it is most reasonable he'd have short hair.

and yet, despite all this evidence in favour of a distinguished shen yuan ignored, the fandom took his pretty boy waiting to die line and ran with it, hard. I have been told this was due to a fan translation note implying that it could have hinted to chronic illness, and it was instead warped as fact of what the line was trying to say. I've also seen the lack of reaction claim used on him supposedly adjusting very well to living with without a cure, often paralleled to some people's chronic illnesses. this is a fair headcanon and is not really a problem on it's own. I just want to speak my thoughts on it, especially in contrast to the other popular fanon arising from ignoring a fair bit of canon implications and then taking one that most likely was not even in that direction as gospel.

first and foremost, as a disabled person myself, I find a lot of fandom depiction of chronic illness to be very divorced from reality, used to play into the losercore vibe, often just thrown in there with feelin like the creator forgot they gave him a disability only to suddenly write a single sentence goin "look! he's disabled!", and worse of all as if it could be his only justification for wasting his life away on the internet.

I once read a fanfic that seemed to just list a bunch of things he had or did because of his disability in a very list-like way, but a believable combination enough to presume they at least knew someone disabled, only to leave his cane at home after establishing his unamed illness with 50 symptoms could suddenly k.o. him at any time. not only did nothing happen while he was out, I question why someone of his status yet so severely disabled would not have an ambulatory wheelchair.

I also question the lack of mental illness present in many fanfics. this is not only due to that chronic illness does not really exist independently of mental illness, but I feel that shen yuan is canonically very mentally ill. not only is he wasting his life away with no purpose, heavily implied to be neglected, but he immediately accepts and welcomes a foreign life with no consideration of going back. many people write fanfics of shen yuan pressed about his identity and wishing to be seen for him, but as I've noticed and have pointed out to me by others, that's just not the case. there is no canon reveal because there is no identity conflict. he may divorce himself from shen jiu adamantly, but he marries himself quite well to shen qingqiu, readily switchin how to refer to himself near instantly.

I also feel there's something to say about how he's not only welcoming a foreign world, but one with severe danger that he has to face. and what does he do? dissociates like hell. it takes him a couple books before he even sees those around him as people! I also feel that him not even recognizin that he was cryin from literally ripping a chunk of his own leg out until binghe pointed it out speaks volumes. he let binghe rawdog him in a craze with excruciatin pain that literally killed him and was like "yea this is fine ah what do you mean there's a chance binghe might be dead when I get back noo". could even make an argument that his ignorance to his harem is more than just comphet, but also believin that he wouldn't have value to others in that way. his value is his status: a status he didn't earn and has never earned.

I don't know. I feel there's a lot more to shen yuan than the fandom looks at or rather the fandom digs into things that aren't even there as if it's the penacle of his character. I wanna see more exploration of shen yuan as he is rather than what the fandom wants him to be. or at least to me, his pretty rich boy complex feels far more interestin than the hundredth "oh yea he's chronically ill" shoved in for little to no reason other than they can't comprehend his behaviour without it. as if to say "well if only he could physically do other things, he would. he's not like those losers who can't get a grip of themselves." completely ignorin the depths of mental illness they could explore. it feels both saneist and ableist, in different directions. he's only so pathetic because he's physically disabled. that he can't be any other way, otherwise he's just not likeable.

like give him a couple personality disorders to explore his behaviour with or something! show how he's actually so used to playing pretty composed rich boy in public and that's why he so easily slipped into his idea of shen qingqiu! something!! anything!!!

#svsss #shen yuan #text #mine #throwin this into the tags like a heathen #I feel like I'm gonna get myself into hot waters arguin a character shouldn't be depicted as chronically ill especially on the tumblrs #I mean not that he can't be but. at least do it right if yer gonna. don't just do it because you feel like you have to #or accidentally confuse it for canon or look down upon the alternative explainations for his actions #the broke college student chic thing I don't get at all though. that's just wild to me. #at first I accepted both of these things without thought in a consumption way but the moment I stepped into the idea of writing #along with plans to reread and dissect characters with notes #the less what I've already processed on the first run through made sense with fanon and so I dug into why a little bit #mayb I'll have more refined takes on my second read through but this is my current opinion