#i pray to get his SSR when it comes out

[the-travelling-witch]

𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄

summary: after a quick stop by mostro lounge, you decide you can't leave octavinelle's students to their dreadful costume fate

pairing: jade leech x fashion savvy! reader

warnings: fluff/crack, a little suggestive at the end; just a small drabble to celebrate me getting jade's halloween ssr that appeared in my drafts before i knew what's going on

twisted wonderland masterlist

“And now, pray tell, what is this supposed to be?”

“We’re mummies,” Floyd eagerly grinned back at you when you entered Mostro Lounge. “Pretty neat, ain’t it, shrimpy?”

“I guessed as much from the form you submitted to the Halloween management committee.” You surveyed the warzone of torn white fabric the lounge had become and then zeroed in on the octotrio’s ‘costumes’, wondering in which world a mummy looked like a plucked chicken. “My actual question was, why do you look like toddlers who rolled around in a bunch of toilet paper?”

“Come again?” Azul tried to hide his shocked expression behind his hand as he adjusted his wired glasses.

“You’re well aware that mummies have a body shape too, right?” Walking up to Jade, you started inspecting the damage and what part of this fiasco was still savable, bunching fabric between your fingers and pulling at white clothing shreds. “Under different circumstances I’d be rather impressed that you managed to erase someone’s figure altogether but, with the festival in mind, I can’t let this pass. I can’t believe you put my boyfriend in this, Azul.”

“It’s truly tragic, pearl, isn’t it?” Jade played along, sighing tiredly as he raised one hand to cup your cheek. When your face was pressed into his chest, his palm cradling the back of your head, he threw a wicked grin Azul’s way. “To think that after all these years of knowing and supporting each other, you’d make us wear this when we’re expecting visitors from far and wide… I don’t want to linger on the thought.”

“Oh please, would you both quit being so dramatic?” Octavinelle’s housewarden rolled his eyes and massaged his temple before his shoulders sacked. “Alright fine, maybe the costumes weren’t our best work yet. Let’s hear your proposal then, Prefect.”

You hummed in contemplation as you studied the outfits again. “We can keep the striped shirts and the pants but we need decidedly more belts, a whole lot of them. And, if you know what’s good for you, then you'd better have untangled yourselves from the toilet paper looking crap by the time I’m back.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Azul asked as you were already halfway out of the dorm.

“I’m going to save Mostro Lounge!”

Upon your return, you were delighted to see the guys had followed your advice/ command and were waiting for you in only the long shirts and black trousers. When Jade saw you coming in, carrying a bunch of boxes filled with clothes and accessories, he quickly took them from you and set them down on the table next to them. 

“Thank you,” you smiled up at him, to which your boyfriend pressed a quick kiss to your temple. His brother did not hide the gagging noise he made. “Okay, let’s get to work. Halloween’s already drawing close and we’ll still have to make adjustments to the costumes for sure. 

“Here,” you said, digging through the cardboard boxes until you found the black shirts you’d been searching for. “Put these on. They should be roughly the right size.”

Turning around to let them change, you searched for the accessories you’d deemed the show-stealers. Brushing over leather, you hooked your fingers into the metal ring of a harness to hold it up. You really owed Pomefiore for this one.

“Oya, shrimpy, watcha have there?” Floyd’s amused lilt told you that he was pretty aware of what exactly it was. “You wanna catch yourself a fish? Or an eel, hmm?”

“I have to say, it is a pretty daring approach to a Halloween school costume,” Jade chimed in, one hand resting on his chin in contemplation but nonetheless smiling. “Not that I am opposed to it, of course.”

“Prefect, is this really necessary?” Azul shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking at you but not quite into your eyes. “I mean I understand refining our apparel but this…”

“Azul, I’m making you marketable right now,” you said earnestly and with that, his azure eyes finally snapped to you. “Do you know how much potential profit is tied to this one little accessory? C’mon, try it on. You can still decide not to wear it afterwards. For now, just go with the flow.”

One by one, you helped them secure the straps around their torso, having Jade hold Floyd still enough to get it on him. You could see Azul fidgeting from the corner of your eye as you put the finishing touches on Jade’s harness, slipping two fingers underneath the straps to make sure it wasn’t too tight.

“Okay, let’s get the shirts back on, add some more belts, cut up the fabric and get this show on the road. I can basically see people banging down your doors already. I hope you can seat that many guests.” The last sentences were more so directed at Azul, in an effort for him to just let you do your thing. “I don’t have any sort of hat prepared because I frankly didn’t expect to save a dorm’s costume today but I’ll see what I can do.”

“My my, that does pose the question of where we’d be without you,” Jade chuckled affectionately. 

“Out of business on Halloween, apparently,” you sighed theatrically. “Well then, chop chop guys, I want to see the entire thing.”

After they all pulled their striped shirts back on, you added more belts around their hips and waist to give the outfit more shape but didn’t tug the shirts in to mimic a mummy’s peeled off bandages. All in all, it wasn’t the most elaborate costume but it did the trick and if you could put some finishing touches on it throughout the week, you were confident the lounge would attract a fair share of customers. 

“Alright, that’s it. You can go around and do some work or whatever just to get a feel for the clothes. Remember, you’ll have to wear them for the entirety of the festival, so I want to remove anything that might be uncomfortable beforehand. And Floyd, don’t drag those white sleeves through the dirt, got it? They should stay the colour they are now.” You sent the eel a warning glare and he held his hand up in defence, although the grin he didn’t bother to hide before he vanished to the Seven know where wasn’t reassuring. 

Azul had apparently already slinked back into his office, leaving you standing alone in the lounge with your boyfriend, giving you ample time to admire your work again. Seeing Jade in something like this was certainly something you’d been very curious about, with good right as you learnt now; the black shirt highlighting his muscle and the leather holding your attention were leading your thoughts down a very different direction. Something he must have caught on to somehow.

“Do you like what you see, pearl?” He teased, his grin showing off his sharp teeth as he studied you with mischievous interest. Maybe it was your imagination but in the dimly lit lounge, his left eye seemed to glow. “I cannot help but wonder why you’d extend your gracious assistance to us without wanting anything in return, not that I am not grateful of course. 

“Perhaps you merely wanted to seize your chance to put me into something like this?” He gestured towards the harness secured around his chest, his attentive gaze not flitting from your face for even a second. “You know you need only ask if you have any more… fantasies of this nature.”

“I— It’s nothing like that! You make me sound like some pervert,” you protested, although, to your embarrassment, he wasn’t completely wrong. But, seriously, who would pass up a situation like this? “Anyway, don’t you have anything to do? You’re usually busy around the clock.”

“Oh, I have something very important to do,” he grinned down at you, taking a step closer to you, to the point you had to take one back, until he could crowd you against the bar. Now that he had you right where he wanted you, his hands smoothed down the sides of your body until he could place his hands on the back of your thighs to effortlessly lift you onto the counter. It happened so fast, you let out a surprised yelp and braced yourself against his chest, to which he merely chuckled. 

“And what would that work entail?” You questioned as you ran your fingers along the straps of the harness spanning his broad chest. Looking up you saw his attention already on you.

“Under normal circumstances it would require me to get out of these clothes. But, per your request, that is currently not possible.” Leaning into your personal space, his lips brushed over the delicate skin of your pulse point, his breath fanning over the base of your neck as he lowered his voice to a whispered husk. “I am fairly certain though, the same restrictions do not apply for your clothes, my precious pearl. I can definitely work with that.”

© the-travelling-witch 2023 - do not repost, translate, copy or edit

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#┊holly’s potions ೃ༄ #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland fluff #twisted wonderland crack #twst x reader #twst fluff #twst crack #jade x reader #jade leech x reader #jade fluff #jade leech fluff #jade leech #twst jade #twst octavinelle #twst halloween

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey I have a maybe stupid question: when is the Rollo card coming out of the Eng/global servers?

We don't know for certain yet since we've only just gotten the news in TWST EN about Glorious Masquerade coming to us in early October (following Science Club Wear Rook). However, if we refer to the banner from the TWST EN website, it looks like only SSR Masquerade Idia, Malleus, and Azul will be featured in this month.

If I had to guess, SSR Rollo will probably be a limited banner next year in EN when they do a GloMasq rerun. This would be the same pattern as JP, and it would make sense story-wise because many of Rollo's voice lines spoil the truth of his character and motivations for the actual event story. It would only be logical to release the card with these spoilery contents well after the event story has had the chance to play out.

Again though, that's just my guess. We won't know for sure until the banners are officially announced. Worse case scenario is (with the rapid-fire rate that EN is localizing content at) maybe we'll get a Rollo banner at the end of the Glorious Masquerade run period this year. (I'm praying that isn't the case though 💦)

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst en #Rollo Flamme #notes from the writing raven #question #disney twisted wonderland #Idia Shroud #spoilers #Malleus Draconia #Azul Ashengrotto #Rook Hunt

[wedreamedlove]

To Live In A World - Light & Night Group Essay

Light and Night has an 18+ rating in China but, in my opinion, it's not for sexually suggestive scenes, it's for the topics they bring up that only individuals with solid worldviews can appreciate and discuss. One topic that comes up again and again is how an individual lives in the world: what makes someone choose to leave and what makes someone keep going?

Out of the 5 male leads in Light and Night, Sariel, Evan, and Osborn have tried to kill themselves. Charlie cannot even conceive of the idea of suicide, but he also discusses this topic and has his own coping methods to deal with suffering. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, Jesse has the standard response that he can't give up on everything because of his responsibilities, his attachments, and his loved ones [SSR Prairie Fire DATE].

Trigger warning for discussions about suicide. Spoilers up to Chapter 19 and Charlie's 2023 birthday.

[SSR Escaping Into Dusk DATE]

Evan: "Do you know how to meet a mermaid?" His tone sounded like he was asking someone a question, but also like he was simply telling the opening of a story. Evan: "You have to swim to the bottom of the ocean—there it will turn pitch-black and blue skies will become a memory." Evan: "When you lie down in that silence and decide to become a part of it, mermaids will appear." Evan: "If your love is sincere and pure enough, they will accept you and take you away forever."

This story comes from The Big Blue and, in the context of Evan's date, refers to committing suicide. I think it's only fitting to start this essay with this haunting metaphor, and this also happens to be one of the times Evan tried to commit suicide during the period of his life when he enjoyed freediving.

TO LIVE IS TO SUFFER—

Since Evan opened this essay, we'll continue to talk about him. First, to understand what could drive someone to commit suicide, I will summarize Evan's background. He was born into a caring nuclear family that quickly disintegrated and so, at the tender age of 5, he lost the love and protection of both parents. Right after that, he was forced to go through the brutal training all Blood Clan members go through, such as survival training in the woods and the indoctrination of their superiority.

[SSR Secrets in the Shade DATE]

Evan: Yes, it was when I was a child and driven into the woods for the first time. Evan: I witnessed wild beasts hunting and escaped from the mouth of a snake. I felt that the forest was full of dangers and only wished to get out of there quickly. Evan: And, just when I was hungry and exhausted, I saw a bamboo mushroom. Evan: At the time, I didn't know what it was and whether or not it was poisonous. I looked at it and thought hopelessly that I might as well pluck it and eat it, and resign myself to my fate.

[SSR Illusionary Light - 14 Years Ago Fall TRAJECTORY]

I felt my pulse beating, ba-dump, ba-dump—and so I aimed the screwdriver at it and stabbed down hard. The second the blood spurted out I heard the sound of my soul drilling out too. It cheered and sang for the freedom and sunlight it waited for so long. I was a bit happy, because I discovered that my heavy body was gradually turning light. That feeling of being able to fly even without wings was addictive. The smell of blood was a strong fragrance and when it dripped onto the mud it even blossomed as a vivid flower. [...] This time no one would be able to stop my footsteps. When the blood ran out, I would be free.

[SSR Against One's Heart - 11 Years Ago Spring TRAJECTORY]

Whenever my body was spread open to be seasoned, I always prayed in my heart for rot to come. I think I would greet it with extraordinary calm and even a small smile. Of course, I would allow myself to retain a bit of sadness and this would be my last reverence and friendliness to life. I held this thought until the first spot of mold appeared on my body—I meant the fresh and still bleeding bowl-sized wound in my chest, large enough that my heart could almost fall out. There was no moment closer to death than now, however a long-lost fear suddenly grew crazily in my body until, in the end, I was defeated. I watched myself stuff cotton balls into my body, along with all my obsessions and wickedness, and the blood stuck them together, forming a new piece of flesh of its own. If death happened to arrive at this moment, he would surely laugh at my hypocrisy and cowardice. Fortunately, the dense night outside the window stretched in front of me like train tracks and I could even hear his departing footsteps that were too lazy to step over those tracks.

The Blood Clan ground away his individuality, his sentimentality, and his attachments. In his 1st birthday [SSR Enticing Feast DATE], Evan explains that all members of the Blood Clan are brought up to have no affections for anything but family. He couldn't be picky about his food, he could only read books that were approved, and his pet rabbit was killed. To make matters worse, Evan is also the black sheep of the Blood Clan. He cannot bring himself to be like them with their cruelty, arrogance, and depravity. He shares their instincts but he instinctively rebels against it and questions all of the Blood Clan values.

Can someone even be considered to be "living" in this existence? It's no wonder Evan doesn't think there's anything to keep him in this world, because he grew up without even knowing who "he" is as a person.

Despite all this though, Evan did manage to find a way to reconcile his self-destructive impulses. However, this answer is going to be left for the next section and, instead, we are going to move onto our next male lead who suffered, Osborn.

Much like Evan, Osborn was also born to a loving family that disintegrated, starting with his father leaving and ending with his mother's multiple attempts to abandon him before she finally succeeded. Once that happened, Osborn had no more attachments to this world and thought about how easy it would be for him to disappear without anyone noticing or caring. He grew up with this fear of being abandoned again and so was afraid to get close to anyone. This self-isolation was only exacerbated by the prejudice of people around him, who saw him as a juvenile offender, and made no attempts to understand him.

[SSR The 400 Blows TRAJECTORY - 14 Years Ago Early Spring]

I look forward, beyond anything else, to the moment I kill myself. At least this proves that, at the very end, before the world abandons me, I severed my relationship with it first.

[SSR The 400 Blows TRAJECTORY - 8 Years Ago Early Summer]

After waking up, he climbed to the edge of the rooftop and looked at the rusty red marks on the concrete floor that couldn't be washed away, like they were a silent accusation. So long as he jumped, he could escape everything. Will anyone grieve for me? Will anyone care about my death? Osborn blankly thought.

[SSR Free Fall TRAJECTORY - 6 Years Ago Early Winter]

He suddenly raised his hand and slashed at his own neck hard. However, the biting pain didn't bring a sense of relief. Instead, it hurt more.

[SSR Free Fall TRAJECTORY - 4 Years Ago Early Winter]

All my classmates had jumped and kept hurrying me. The waves grew larger and larger and I realized I really would die if I didn't jump. But there was an instant where I seriously had the idea of giving up. I thought about leaving things like this, because to me this had never been an act to survive but instead a punishment.

Freedom is a double-edged sword. In protecting himself by keeping others at a distance and not getting attached, Osborn had also walled himself off from the world. It was all too easy for him to be indifferent and flippant with his own life because he cherished nothing and believed that no one cherished him.

However, as we all know, people (and animals) did get under Osborn's defenses and became family members he took under his wing and who ended up binding him to this world. He also discovered his own way of reconciling with the world, which we will talk about in the next section.

The last suicidal man was Sariel. Unlike the others (except for Jesse), Sariel was born to a loving family and there were no tragedies in his childhood. Instead, it was the trauma of war in his early adulthood that brought him to despair. On the battlefield, he saw the cycle of hatred and revenge, what humans do at the extremes of desperation (cannibalism), massacred a village, and ultimately ended the life of someone he loved with his own hands. Everyone he knew and loved passed away, either due to circumstances or the long passage of time, and after fulfilling all of their leftover wishes he himself was left with nothing of his own but crushing survivor's guilt.

[SSR Meeting Spring FILM REEL - Undead Nightmare]

Sariel lay on the shore of the lake and it was unclear whether it was lake water or tears on his face. Sariel: Yet another failure. After that, Sariel tried countless times more. Since his talent would save him, then he would try even more drastic methods. However, his talent followed him relentlessly like a curse. Cut veins would heal, torn off limbs would be restored, and even his heart could recover its function after being pierced by a long blade.

Not mentioned above is how, for his first attempt, Sariel jumped off a cliff and his body was practically pulverized or how, in the scene prior to the translation, he tied himself to a rock and sank into the bottom of a lake to drown. Unlike the other men, Sariel would have truly ended his life on multiple occasions if it weren't for his talent, but since he couldn't die he became an empty husk that wandered the world instead, attempting to drown out his pain in vices like gambling and wine.

So now, after seeing how some of the men in Light and Night hit absolute rock bottom in their lives, how did they pick themselves up and walk all the way to the present to stand before us?

—TO SURVIVE IS TO FIND MEANING IN THE SUFFERING (GORDON W. ALLPORT)

As I have been mentioning, all the men in Light and Night were able to come to terms with living in this world, although it's arguable how "healthy" their coping methods are. In this section, I will not be listing the men in the order I introduced them, but rather by my opinion on the worst-to-best coping methods the men demonstrate. Naturally, this is an incredibly personal opinion and you do not have to agree with me at all. In fact, discussion would be happily welcomed!

First, we have Evan.

[SSR Escaping Into Dusk DATE]

Evan: Actually, it can't be called liking it. It's just that I was once a little addicted to the feeling of freediving. Evan: In a turbid world without sound, color, or light. Evan: You toss aside every tool and means and rely only on the limits of what the human body can do... Evan: It's true the pain brought on by this method is inevitable, but the freedom of the soul gained from this is very captivating. Evan: You will genuinely experience and truly reach your inherent limitations as a human being. Evan: And, in this process, you can also expand the limit of your boundaries bit by bit as much as possible. MC: It sounds like it's nearly walking on the edge of death. Evan: More or less. But it's certainly attractive, isn't it?

[SSR Secrets in the Shade DATE]

MC: When you're feeling down or that things are difficult, just fantasize about the wonderful life you'll have after achieving your goals. [...] Evan: After I achieve my goals? Evan: At that time, perhaps nothing will be important anymore.

There are two parts to Evan's reconciliation with the world. First, as I brought up in my essay "The Depth of his Feelings", I believe the way Evan flirts with death is a homage to traditional vampire literature and their attraction to their own death, but I also think this is a natural act of those who are suicidal and lost as a person. Owing to the Blood Clan, Evan questioned himself and his perception of the world, but nothing is quicker at grounding someone to this world than the undeniable physical sensation of their body's primal instinct to survive.

Second, Evan ended up becoming indifferent to death. Even though I'm mentioning Evan first for "unhealthy" coping methods, it's mostly directed at his near-death outlets, and I actually appreciate his acceptance of death. On that note, there isn't a contradiction here because, even if his body emotionally wants to survive, he has intellectually made peace with death.

Evan's view on death reminds me a lot of the Stoic ideal of the good death. The Stoics do not believe that death is anything to fear because everything comes to an end and, in fact, they believe that suicide is a choice and amoral. The door is always open to you if you choose to leave; the only caveat is that you must consider your circumstances seriously and make your decision logically and not on a rash and impulsive decision. For Evan, he calmly accepts death after he achieves his goal (of wiping out the Blood Clan) because, to him, his life would be complete and there would be nothing more for him in this world. It would be a good death. Evan's acceptance of his own death can also be seen in his 2nd anniversary card [SSR Yesterday's Elegy TRAJECTORY].

Alright, we've seen how Evan reconciled with the world, so now we're going to move onto Charlie.

[SSR To the Oracle DATE]

Charlie: Fiancée, freedom exists. Charlie: It's pain and sacrifice that let him feel the value of existence. [...] Because that person who treats pain as feeling the world and touches the weight of freedom is Charlie too. [...] Charlie: But they can't stop themselves from interacting with others. MC: Why do they have to be so persistent... Charlie: Because they still have hope for this world.

[SSR Solar Flare DATE]

Charlie: I cried terribly when I learned that he would never come back. Charlie: But when I grew up I gradually understood that maybe he had already decided to say goodbye to this world. Charlie: So long as people live they will get hurt. No one knows how much pain the seemingly optimistic and cheery people around them have endured alone. Charlie: Time couldn't heal his wounds and so he gave up on saving himself. I could hear the conflict in his heart. He was someone who clearly valued life a lot and always spared no effort in saving every single person. How many similar things had he gone through, how many helpless moments had he experienced, and how had he carried all of this to this day to stand in front of me... I had no way of imagining it. I could only hold his hand tightly to let him know that I was trying to understand how he felt. Charlie: The look in Myron's eyes before he was lifted into the ambulance made me feel that everything I had done just now might have been meaningless. Charlie: But I will still choose to save them. I can't explain why, maybe it's an instinct.

Like I mentioned, Charlie cannot even conceive of the idea of committing suicide but, ironically, he experiences the world through suffering. As a phoenix, he innately loves the world and its people, and that's why the injustices and despair in the world hurt him so much. So, how does he find an outlet for this pain?

[SSR Perpetual Journey Home TRAJECTORY - New Era 44 Late Autumn]

Charlie clenched his fist, making the tense veins in his arms and wrists bulge out before they submerged into his palm. His flat nails nearly dug hard enough into his skin to bleed. Only then did I suddenly notice that his broad palm was covered with crescent-shaped scars that curved in the same direction. The protruding white marks were old, but it was obvious they were quickly covered with new purple marks before they faded. MC: ... Don't hurt yourself. I placed my fingers on the tips of his fingers and tried to pry them away. But Charlie didn't loosen his hand. He bent his knuckles so hard that it seemed as if he was biting the skin of his palm painfully. And that pain actually entered my body through this touch. MC: Charlie, let go! I heard my own urgent voice, as well as the imaginary quiet sound of flesh being separated. His fingernails dug into his palm, which slowly began to turn red. MC: Charlie, I don't understand... I shook my head, tears staining my cheeks. I didn't understand why he had to torture himself like this. Or— I did understand, but I could only use this common logic to persuade him to stop harming himself. The glaring redness of his palm filled my mind like the shallows of a sea. I smiled bitterly. Wasn't pain just another way of breathing?

[SSR Under the Stigmata DATE]

He walked to my side and sat down, watching quietly as the boy turned back to plucking his black feathers, as if he had seen this done countless times. In a daze, I saw Charlie sitting there in a firefighter's uniform, his face covered with smoke and dust. And every time the boy plucked a feather, his expression that was on the verge of a breakdown softened a little, as if that action could relieve his pain. I also saw Charlie, wearing a white coat and looking exhausted. He sat there blankly, his hands still shaking slightly. I recognized this action, it meant that he had just completed a long operation. They all had the same contentment of pain on their faces. It dawned on me that this place, this house, might have been built by his father originally, and Charlie had also once destroyed it. But in the present, Charlie had built all of this by himself, brick by brick. Here, he overlooked the pain of his past, again and again, gaining the power to rebuild himself from it. I thought about how he found a way to use this pain, but this didn't mean that this pain no longer existed and I didn't want to see any Charlie trapped in it.

This is how Charlie reconciles with the world and his powerlessness. It reminds me of these tweets about trashed bathrooms and how, when people have no control over their life or environment, they will want to assert control over the small part of their environment that they still have the power to affect. In this case, what can you always affect? Yourself. In a way, this is somewhat similar to how Evan paces on the border of life and death, because not only does it make him feel alive but it also gives him control.

For Charlie, there are so many things that he cannot control in the world, especially other people's decision to take their own lives. He also lives under the extraordinary pressure and control of his father, who has been trying to mould Charlie into his perfect heir (and a god to rule this world?). By hurting himself, Charlie can be assured that he is still in control of his own life and his own decisions and this gives him the strength to pick himself up again and again, among all this suffering, to try and help more people.

You can probably see why I don't rate Charlie's method that highly either, because I don't advocate self-harm, haha. Next, after having seen Charlie's method, we move onto Sariel.

[SSR Seeing the Spring FILM REEL - The Mayfly]

Sariel (Phantom): Everything has a conclusion that you have no choice but to accept, regardless of whether it goes against your heart or not, or whether it hurts you or not. Sariel (Phantom): When this pain is too heavy, it's better to forget it than to confront it bruised and bloody. Sariel (Phantom): Living on relies not on redemption or reconciliation, but on forgetting. Sariel: Did you survive to that time just by forgetting? Sariel (Phantom): Yes. Sariel (Phantom): Rather than letting regret and pain erode your heart into an empty husk, it's better to forget everything. Sariel (Phantom): Live on, Sariel. Someone is waiting for you in the future.

As we saw earlier, Sariel would have succeeded in committing suicide if it weren't for his talent. This is why his coping method is to forget the weight of his pain before it drives him mad and turns him into something else. In this dialogue between himself, Sariel does question whether forgetting is just another way of escaping his pain, much like drinking; but, in my opinion, it's a valid choice to set aside the pain when you cannot handle it in the moment. Sariel sealed his power and memories away but, now that he has you to support him, he's unsealed his power and memories and has the strength to look back on his past and come to terms with everything with a less despairing outlook.

Lastly, we come to Osborn who, in my personal opinion, has the healthiest mindset.

[SSR Free Fall TRAJECTORY - 1 Year Ago Midsummer]

To be honest, I was disappointed in that moment. It was no different from any other rainbow that appeared somewhere after the rain. It was very beautiful, and very ordinary. The end of the rainbow was in fact just the end of the rainbow, and it was only my imagination of it that idealized it. But I still stared at it for a long time, until I found that the disappointment wasn't that terrible either. Because the world didn't care at all whether or not I was disappointed. Even if I never set foot on the road again because of this, the world wouldn't use anything I longed for to urge me to stay. After understanding this, I suddenly no longer gritted my teeth and fumed about disappointment. Because I discovered I had other things that could transcend disappointment: people who were willing to take risks with me when I took risks, and people who could understand my emotions that weren't understood.

The world being indifferent is supposed to be comforting, because it means that setbacks and disappointments aren't targeting you in particular. Successes are because of your own efforts and failures are because there were more uncontrollable elements than there were things you could affect.

Osborn internalizes this message and I believe it explains why he's such an active person. He has no expectations for the world and thus cannot be harmed by it any longer. He no longer needs to feel like he did in his childhood, about abandoning the world before it abandons him first. He managed to turn his independence from the world, which used to make him feel isolated, into one of his greatest strengths and it's also because he now has personal connections that bind him to the world by choice.

For my headings, I used a quote by Gordon Allport but, to be honest, I prefer the old Buddhist saying that "pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional" and, in my opinion, it reflects Osborn's perspective and why I, personally, think he has the healthiest relationship with the world. It's inevitable that there will be times when things don't go smoothly in your life and that you'll experience (physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual) pain, but it's your choice on whether to suffer during this period or not. Suffering is optional means you should realize the impermanence of this pain and if you can accept when things are out of your control, manage your expectations, and understand that whatever the world does externally to you does not affect your core as a person, then you will realize there are actually a lot of things you can overcome and that you need not dwell on them.

In the end, Light and Night is a game about hope and all the characters are growing, hopefully including the players who are following all of these characters in their journey. I also really like how the game doesn't affix one theme to one character, but instead approaches a theme from multiple angles through all the characters because, in this case, there is no right or wrong answer on how to live a life in this world. But, hopefully, seeing how hard these characters struggle to keep living can also provide some courage to those who are struggling and searching for their own path.

#light and night #光与夜之恋 #ln osborn #ln evan #ln charlie #ln sariel #ln xiao yi #ln lu chen #ln qi sili #ln zha lisu #meta of light and night

[pwrxglory]

Ahh I cant believe it's eid already. Seriously the past few weeks have been soo hectic and rushed I couldn't keep up with anything

. ((´д｀))

I barely scored Jamils Beanfest R. And all of a sudden his SSR show's up when I'm completely broke ಠ╭╮ಠ

Jamil is literally!! gosh he's means soo much to me. And seeing how it's eid and the day he gets his own banner just makes it a special coincidence for me (/ω＼)

Here's a Jamil themed eid aesthetic

Jamil sent me his famous sweets uwu

Whenever Kalim would give him a small breath of freedom Jamil would invest time in saving up for his future solo trip. So he started selling sweets where and owns a sweets shop here and it's called Surprise Surprise Jamil sweets since noone knows him here it's easier for him to use his real name🌝.

No but seriously its a famous sweets shop here. The food is really good too, do stop by this shop if you visit Rawalpindi.

Even the bag matches Jamil's theme ( 。・o・)💗

And The support I've been getting on Hearts inclined Gosh!! I literally had just started this story for my satisfaction of a character I really liked I just wanted a fancy way to simp for Jamil I didn't think anyone would actually notice it but the way it's getting love I'm just soo happy people in the real world love Jamil as much as I do❤️❤️.

Sigh look's like I've grinding to do in twst Plus I've a forensic test coming up too!!

Ya'll do pray I survive this. ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ

To everyone out there celebrating eid hope this pious day brings you immense joy, happiness, peace and prosperity.

*Eid Mubarak!*🌸

And May all Jamil Wanters be Jamil havers!!

ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

#jamil viper #jamilsupremacyforever!! #twisted wonderland #idia shroud #twst wonderland #disney twst #rook hunt #vil schoenheit #floyd leech #jade leech #jamil #jamil x reader #jamil headcanons #scarabia

[fanlovedlt]

To anyone who hasn’t gotten beanfest Floyd or just now simps for him when his event version appears, this is for you!

Haven’t write in a while so might sound and look noob.

(Also sorry I didn’t post it sooner! Finally graduated and now trying to get my life sorted out. Enjoy!)

Ever since you gotten the game on your device, you played every rhythm game and fight scene to compete each mission nonstop for a long time.

You loved the songs and the way each character had a role of its own and you even loved how the story surprised you at its storyline than what you expect. It made you feel supreme and unstoppable whenever you play.

That was until the recent event came.

Your favorite character that you took interest during the game was having a SSR card of himself and you wanted him bad, like “I want my pony mommy!” bad! Sure there could be another event where you would have a better chance, but you wanted to see your fav character smile and see him interact with you in the main menu! Wanting to know what kind of speech bubble lines they will say to you!

But it was way too hard for you and that suck very much.

It upsets you that you get the same character every card draw ( sorry rook) and it pisses you off more that you were wasting gems just because you wanted to get this silly eel twin boi not because he were strong as hell or because he was a rare event character: ITS BECAUSE YOU SEEM TO BE SIMPING FOR THAT EEL BOI!!!!!

Here you were sitting on your bed, criss cross apple sauce, while playing a ton of rhythm games and weekly missions to do the 10 draw cards again to see if your luck was giving you a chance this time, until you felt yourself being engulfed by two strong arms around your shoulders behind you.

A groan is heard from your left ear along with a whine next.

“Shrimpy!!~~ Come play with me!!!”

“Sorry Floyd!” You said with a apologetic voice, not even giving him any of your attention while your eyes were preoccupied by your phone screen, “I’m in the middle of completing a mission to earn 5 gems right now. If I get 10 more gems, I could do another draw and pray or cross my fingers that I can get my favorite character this time!”

Floyd didn’t seem to like your comment at all and then laid next to you, pouting the whole time while looking at your face.

“What could be more important than looking at me?~”

“For starters this game I’m doing right now Floyd!” You said with a serious tone this time. “This game has a event that one of my favorite characters are a SSR card and he looks so gorgeous with his smirk! I heard that once you awaken him, he has a more soft loving look and I want someone like him to stare at me like that!!!” You squealed while giggling the entire time.

At this point, Floyd didn’t know if he should break your phone or take it away and just hide it from you forever cause wow rude.

“You do realize I’m here right shrimpy? I can easily look at you like-“ he sighed. “Whatever, if you won’t pay attention to me” he said while sitting up and wrapped his arms yet again but this time around your waist. “I’ll just bother you till you do!~”

“Yeah yeah good luck with that-“ you were doing your 10th um probably 12th draw maybe and hopefully getting your SSR card you worked so hard for.

Rare card. Ok so far so good.

Rare card. Ok seems going off a good start-

SR card of hunter. wait no-no no no no nO NO!

You pushed Floyd’s arms away and pushed your face on a pillow your grabbed and screamed into it till your vocal chords became sore maybe. Cause why?! You were so close and yet the event ends in 3 days!! There way no way you could earn gems let alone buy gems. Sure, you can but you have the type of parent who doesn’t believe in buying on App Store for games or items in games. So you were practically screwed.

“Aww is my little fishy all sad they didn’t get their dream card?~” Floyd teased while you still had your face in your pillow. “Want me to help cheer you up?”

“Nah it’s ok” you replied without the pillow smush in your face which granted Floyd a view of your messed up front hair and depressing look. “I’m probably gonna get over it in like a week or something.” You mumbled to him while laying down, laying your head on your other pillow that doesn’t look like it was untouched.

Floyd isn’t dumb. He knows you are the type of people that get excited over things for a while and sometimes you’ll forget about it in a month or sometimes shorter. He never wonders why and though it was childish, then you commented on how it was childish of him to get mood swings on the wrong times and think of not to be responsible for it actions, like example, the time he was playing basketball and he did so well for the first half…until he left cause he was bored.

He didn’t talk to you for like a week until he came back happy and asking to hang out with him at lunch. It proves your point.

Anyways, he lays down on the bed and turns towards you. Seeing as that you are staring at the ceiling instead of him, he touches your cheek with his left hand and guides your direction towards him with the help of his arm. He wasn’t smiling when you look at him with both eyes but he had a small grin. Well more like a flat line with a small twitch of a curve, but it’s similar.

“Look idk how you love something so fast and then claim you’ll forget about it but all I know is that Shrimpy has me and I’ll be your everyday supporter when you see me!~” He says while shaking his sharp teeth. “And I’ll conversant with my Shrimpy until comes a day when you feel happy again!~” he says and then hugs you again for like the third time. This time you finally respond to it correctly and put your head on his shoulder. “Thank you Floyd.” You replied “It helped a bit.”

“No problem!~” Floyd responded while looking so consistent in your relaxed face and not commenting on where you phone was or how he knew so much about your ability to take interest in things and forgot them immediately.

Maybe he heard it from someone you thought.

Yay I’ve finally finished this! Man I wasted so many gems trying to get Floyd when all I got was another rook! It’s not that I don’t like him but I’ve already had him so why would I need another?! Anywho this is the only favorite Floyd outfit I have of him expect the lab coat one.

This is the only Floyd SR card I have of him and I want a event version of him cause he would probably look beret pretty in it like he does with this one! Anywho hope this was good enough for you guys! Maybe I could make another account on tumblr and use that to make fanfics. What do you guys think?

#floyd leech #floyd x reader #floyd headcanons #floyd x you #floyd x mc #floyd x y/n #twst x reader #twst x gender neutral reader #twst beanfest #twst event

[twstgameplay]

Hello, let me first thank you for this blog. You guys are literally saving us all here!!! So I actually wanted to ask something. I am having terrifyingly bad luck in the game (en server). And I'm a f2p. I literally pulled near pity in Azul's bday banner (87) and then ran out of pulls. And I have a bad habit of pulling 10-20 in pulls and never getting a card. I know those were fatal mistakes which I'm trying to improve. And now I'm playing since the launch and having only 3 SSRs (Dorm Leona and Cater and FG Leona); which I know is rather really bad. Can you please give me any suggestions to do better? Like any strategy or which cards should I save for? (My favs are Hornton, Octavinelle boys and Idia). 🥺😞

Hi~

I can’t really give any advice other than don’t pull on every banner you see and, if you’re like me and like to at least get the event SR, consider using single keys to test your luck or use a single 10-key and pray the guaranteed SR isn’t a permanent card spook.

Since you have favorites, save for those. EN has JP to base on, so you can have a good idea on when to expect a certain card to come. This guide explains well how to farm for gems and keys, so check it out. You can also create some self imposed rules, such as “I won’t use my gems unless it’s my fav” or “I can only use 5 single keys at most per event banner”.

~ 🦈

#twst #twisted wonderland #mod furoido

[hanafubukki]

Wait I haven’t been on twst for a few days cuz school but??? Fairy Gala event?!?! 😭

Excited but, I wonder why they chose to do that event now? I figured that event would drop later after part 2 comes and finishes in the jp server? It is part 2 right, or was that just a bunch of fairy ortho fanarts I saw??? 👀

Like how they dropped Beans event back to back, is basically what I thought would happen for this Fairy event 🤔 wonder what events coming up next. I know we got 2 bday banners (and from both best boys no less!) plus 2/3 parts for book 5 is coming by the end of the month (holy shit that’s like…really soon) but upcoming events, I can’t remember.

Wishful thinking but maybe we’ll get a Eng server exclusive event 🌚 maybe we can finally give Trey his event UR (and Sebek too, whom I adoreeee)

Hello Anonie 🌺🌸🌻

Yes 👏 Fairy gala event 💕💜

The OG fairy gala event was one of the first few events that twst made back when the game first came out in JP. That's why its short compared to beans two. And yes, the current event right now in jp is Fairy gala if (not part 2 necessarily, more of 'what if it was these characters instead' kind of thing).

Honestly, I don't think it would be a good idea to release that event right after EN Fairy Gala right now. because there are certain implications with certain characters in the event that will only hit you that much harder feelings wise, if they wait until book 6 ends in EN server. And the EN server players will kind if miss out on that if they do release it so early, also, it would technically be a spoiler for book 6 if they did do that.

I think the only reason they released part 1 and 2 of Beans day was because it was the same storyline but told from different POVs, not two different events.

Personally, I wish they will either do the Ghost Marriage event or the Dance and Wishes event. 🤲🤲 but yikes, the way they are speeding up main story wise gives me the chills.

Exclusive wise, I don't think they will do anything big? Even if they do a card or event exclusive to EN server, I believe they will have it available to JP soon enough.

I think EN server exclusive wise, it'll be what we are already seeing in the current event right now in fairy gala. The event missions which had some new ones that weren't in JP event mission. Which included leveling spells and levels of cards from the gacha mechanic, which is kind of a terrible move honestly. but that's my opinion. lol

Right now, it seems they are going in a pattern for SSR event cards. so the ones who haven't gotten it in JP yet are Trey, Jack, Sebek, Malleus, and Lilia. so every new event JP will have, will be one of these boys next. I am praying, praying, for a starry Malleus or Lilia please please please.

Sebek would look so pretty in a starry outfit too 😭😭 I would also love to see new events in jp rather than 'what ifs' or part 2. I want more lore jkdjknkd lolol

#answered #anonie ask

[rosesandleashes]

/slides this here and runs to hide again

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fan art #rook hunt #pomefiore #lurkingleash #my art #i pray to get his SSR when it comes out #but im also very excited for scarabia hhhh

[swan-of-sunrise]

Specs and the Flyboy (Chapter Nineteen-Part Three)

Summary: (Y/N), Jack and their friends finally face off against Leviathan and the Secret Empire.

Pairing: Jack Thompson X Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings/Disclaimers:  None

A/N: Ya girl wrote this while dealing with sleep deprivation, cramps and the after effects of the vaccine, so I hope it’s good ‘cause at this point I can’t even tell lol Thank you all so much for reading! I hope that you enjoy!

Chapter Nineteen (Part III) Leviathan’s Weapons Facility, Lithuanian Soviet Socialist Republic (Previous Chapter)

While the two of them were ushered down the staircase that led into the crate-filled warehouse by Michael and Dottie, (Y/N)’s mind raced as she struggled to think of a way out of their current conundrum. I’ve been in plenty of tough scrapes before but even I’ll admit that this one’s the toughest one yet, she thought to herself, her eyes rapidly scanning the large room; there were large, frost-covered windows towards the ceiling, several boarded-up skylights and the two metal doors she spotted were both guarded by Leviathan soldiers. By the time they reached the base of the stairs, (Y/N) had counted a total of twenty armed enemy operatives – seventeen Leviathan guards, Attwell, Underwood and Michael Carter – and from the brief glimpse she’d gotten of their friends hidden behind a stack of crates, it looked as though both Pinkerton and Sawyer were badly injured and the others were trying to bandage their blood-soaked wounds. So, we’re out-gunned and out-numbered, she concluded with a sinking feeling as she bit her lip in worry.

“So, Chief Thompson did survive his daring escape!” Attwell grinned, walking out into the empty space amidst the crates and standing before the two of them. “Truth be told, I was hoping that we’d meet again; I detest leaving loose ends, and killing the SSR’s golden boy once and for all would’ve been a genuine pleasure.”

Beside (Y/N), Jack’s shoulders tensed but he tilted his head to the side in mock contemplation. “What, you couldn’t do it without your Leviathan goons backing you up? What a real tough guy.”

Attwell’s fist quickly connected with Jack’s stomach and when he doubled over in pain, the man struck him across the face and sent him sprawling to the ground. “Stop it!” (Y/N) started towards her partner but the sudden feeling of a pistol barrel against the back of her neck stopped her cold; tearing her eyes away from Jack, she met Attwell’s gaze and struggled to keep her voice steady as she spoke, “He’s not the one who’s screwing up your deal with Leviathan, I am.”

“Of course, of course, the infamous codebreaker.” Attwell stepped closer but she held her ground, raising her chin in defiance and refusing to look away despite how uncomfortable his stare made her feel. After a tension-filled moment, his face broke out into a stomach-churning smirk. “It’s a shame that such promising talent’s being squandered by the SSR, by those who dismiss and condescend you at every turn. I was very much like you before joining Hydra; I was overshadowed at Cambridge by my perfect older brother and his two brilliant flatmates; while William, Michael and Adam flourished in their respective fields of study, I floundered and was subsequently expelled but as luck would have it, I was approached by Hydra and offered a chance to unlock my true potential; and here I stand before you, Agent (Y/L/N), to offer you that very-same chance. With the new Leviathan, your immeasurable skills would not only be recognized but they’d also be celebrated. You and Michael could work side-by-side in our efforts to break through as the world’s leading superpower and once we achieve our goal of fully weaponizing Zodiac, Agent (Y/L/N), you’ll have everything you’ve ever truly desired.”

Out of the corner of her eye, (Y/N) noticed Jack’s hand resting on his waist and while Attwell talked, her partner’s index finger had tapped away. It only took her seconds to realize he was sending out a message in Morse Code on the walkie-talkie still clipped onto his belt and once she did, she knew exactly what she needed to do.

“You know, it’s a good thing you’re decent at codebreaking, Specs, ‘cause you’d make a pretty shit spy. You fidget too much.”

If Jack can think up an off-the-cuff plan to get us out of this mess then I can buy us all a little time by being a good spy, she thought with resolve just as Attwell finished up his speech. Taking a page out of her partner’s book, (Y/N) raised an incredulous brow at the man as the corner of her mouth curled into a humorless smile. “There was a time when I would’ve given just about anything for people to recognize me and my skills, to appreciate just how hard I’ve worked to get where I am today. But then I grew up and realized that the only person whose appreciation I needed was my own. Mr. Attwell, I don’t need to be celebrated or appreciated by anyone, but especially not by a pathetic imitation of the Red Skull.”

The man’s expression instantly grew cold at the comparison. “Then it would seem that you’re of no use to us.” His gaze shifted to look at whoever was holding her at gunpoint and he nodded. “Shoot her, Michael.”

“Stop!” All of them looked over just as Peggy jumped out from behind their makeshift barricade with her rifle pointed directly at Attwell. “I’ll give you the key.”

“Peggy, no!” The barrel of the pistol pressed harder into (Y/N)’s neck and she winced in pain. However, her horror was quickly replaced with dawning comprehension when Peggy flashed her a pointed look before briefly glancing in Jack’s direction. She knows about whatever Jack’s planning, she silently realized, playing along with her old friend’s ruse by rearranging her features into a look of righteous indignation.

Moving to stand beside Attwell, Dottie raised the hand that wasn’t holding her rifle and gave the younger woman a small wave. “Hiya, Peggy. You know, you really should’ve listened to me back in New York; I told you there were currencies in the world stronger than money. I practically spelled all of this out for you! But the great Peggy Carter couldn’t figure it all out on her own, so she needed the help of…” Dottie turned to (Y/N) with a frown. “What’re those revolting nicknames you call each-? Oh, never mind, I don’t want to know.” Turning back to Peggy, the spy shrugged. “Well, I suppose not everyone’s perfect, are they?”

“No, they’re certainly not.” Attwell agreed, gesturing with his head for Peggy to lower her weapon and holding out his hand once she’d set it on the ground. “No tricks, Agent Carter. The key, and you and your friends are free to go; it appears that at least one of them is in need of medical attention, so I’d be quick about it if I were you.” When Peggy’s eyes flicked over to where Michael was standing behind (Y/N), Attwell chuckled darkly and shook his head. “No, I don’t think dear old Michael’s going anywhere but by all means, Agent, go ahead and ask him if you don’t believe me.”

For the first time since they were ushered into the warehouse, Peggy looked directly at her older brother. Her hardened expression slipped and for the briefest of moments, (Y/N) recognized the vulnerable young woman she’d known all those years ago at Bletchley Park who mourned her beloved brother’s death. While her lower lip trembled, Peggy finally addressed Michael. “Not too long ago, I had a dream about you and you told me that you’d be right alongside me if you could. I didn’t believe it was possible, even when (Y/N) and Jack told me it was, but now we have a second chance at being a family again. Michael, you can finally come home.” She blinked away her tears and gave him the ghost of an encouraging smile. “Please, Michael, come home with me.”

(Y/N) could feel the pressure on her neck ease up but just as she was beginning to think that Peggy had succeeded in getting through to him, Michael coolly replied, “This is my family, Agent, the only family I have in this world.”

Peggy’s face crumpled as Attwell laughed in amusement. “I told you so! Now, the key for your friends.”

God, I hope that whatever Jack’s planning happens sooner rather than later, (Y/N) silently prayed, sucking in a breath while the younger woman approached Attwell. Once Peggy reached into her pocket and withdrew the familiar Arena Club pin, the man looked over at Dottie and gave her a nod; the spy slung the strap of her rifle over her shoulder and made her way over to one of the many wooden crates near them, kicking the lid off of it and lifting a small metal box out of the loose excelsior. The box looked innocent enough but as Dottie walked it over to Attwell, (Y/N)’s blood ran cold and she knew that the moment Peggy handed over that key, Leviathan would possess one of the world’s deadliest weapons and they’ll have lost.

“Get up, Chief Thompson,” Michael barked and while Jack got to his feet, (Y/N) was roughly pushed towards him. “And you, stand over there with him.”

(Y/N) did as he said, standing beside Jack and keeping her eyes on the scene unfolding before them as she murmured, “You okay?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Peachy-keen.” She watched Dottie hand the metal box over to Attwell, her anxiety steadily building within her while he examined the box’s intricate lock. “Are you going to fill me in on the plan or what?”

The corner of Jack’s mouth curled upwards and he quietly replied, “Patience is a virtue, Specs, just be ready for it.”

“Be ready for wha-?”

Just then as Peggy’s hand stretched out to give Attwell the Arena Club pin, the warehouse wall opposite them exploded. Rubble and splintered pieces of crates flew through the air but before (Y/N) could fully react, gunfire broke out all around them. Amidst the chaos, Jack latched onto (Y/N)’s hand and ran, yanking her behind the nearest tower of crates as bullets whizzed past their heads; both of them crouched on the ground and peeked around the wooden crates, and her eyes widened in amazement at what she saw. The explosion that had knocked down part of the warehouse wall hadn’t been an explosion at all but rather one of the Howlies’ trucks and as (Y/N) watched, Daniel and Henry used the truck’s doors as barriers while they exchanged fire with the Leviathan guards. Moments later, she spotted Peggy dart out from one of the aisles to join her boyfriend behind the open truck door.

“Wa-Hoo!”

Dugan’s deafening war cry from across the warehouse was punctuated by a fresh barrage of gunfire, and (Y/N) couldn’t help but revel at the familiarity of it all; her eyes were suddenly drawn to two men sprinting down the aisle towards her and Jack, and it took her a tense moment to recognize them through all the chaos.

“There you guys are!” Howard exclaimed before ducking down beside them, followed closely by an anxious-looking Edwin Jarvis. Reaching into the satchel that was slung over his shoulders, the inventor withdrew two handguns and offered the weapons to them. “You know, you two’ve got a real habit of gettin’ into trouble…”

Jack rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Says the man who was mind-controlled into almost gassing all of New York last year.” Springing up, he fired off several shots before ducking back down. “How’re we looking, Jarvis?”

“Well, Chief Sousa’s dramatic entrance provided enough of a distraction for Mr. Fieldman to escort Mr. Pinkerton and Mr. Sawyer out the front; their wounds aren’t life-threatening, but Mr. Fieldman promised he’d help treat them once they reach the clearing.” The butler set another satchel on the ground in front of them. “And we’ve brought more guns and ammunition, as per your request.”

“You know, Thompson, you said in your message that you needed a big diversion, but that whole entrance was my idea; I actually took it from one of my studio’s newest scripts, where a gangster steals-”

“Of course, Mr. Stark, your genius knows no bounds.” Edwin hurriedly interrupted the inventor’s rambling, glancing over at (Y/N) with his brow furrowed in worry. “And have you broken Mr. Carter out of his brainwashing? Where is he?”

Looking around the edge of the crate, (Y/N)’s heart dropped when noticed that several important people were missing from the gunfight. “Where the hell did they go, Jack?”

Jack craned his neck to see what she was looking at and swore loudly. “Shit, I-wait, they’re on the stairs!” By the time (Y/N) spotted them, Attwell, Dottie and Michael had reached the top of the stairs and had disappeared around the corner. “Jarvis, stay here with Stark and cover us, then go help the others.” Edwin nodded and her partner turned towards her, his blue eyes scanning her face for any signs of trepidation as he asked, “Are you ready, Specs?”

“As I’ll ever be,” (Y/N) pulled an extra ammunition magazine out of the satchel and tucked it into her pocket before giving Jack a determined nod. “Let’s finish this once and for all, Flyboy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Compared to the chaotic warehouse they’d come from, the rest of the facility was eerily silent and it wasn’t at-all difficult to follow the footsteps of the fleeing trio through the deserted hallways.

“You know that this is probably a trap, right?”

“Naturally.”

“Good. Just wanted to make sure that we’re both on the same page.”

Before (Y/N) could get another word in, a figure she soon recognized as Dottie dropped down from above them and began attacking; the spy kicked the guns out of their hands, ramming her knee into (Y/N)’s stomach and knocking the wind out of her before spinning and using her leg to slam Jack into the wall beside them. (Y/N) took advantage of Dottie’s momentary distraction and aimed a side-kick at her thigh, but the spy merely turned her sharp fall into a somersault; she stood and threw a punch that (Y/N) was quick to duck, and then she grabbed the spy’s extended arm with the intent of wrenching it behind her back. Dottie predicted the move, yanking her arm free only to wrap her hand around her throat and roughly shove her back against the wall.

The back of (Y/N)’s head erupted into a sharp pain while Dottie flashed her a condescending smile. “I already told you, you’re too easy! It’s almost pathetic to see you try so hard to be as good as Peggy.”

“Don’t need to be as good as Peggy,” (Y/N) choked out as the fingers around her throat tightened. “Just…just good enough to keep you distracted.”

Dottie frowned in confusion and that’s when Jack slammed the butt of his gun against the back of her head. The spy tumbled to the ground in an unconscious heap and (Y/N) doubled over, her hands firmly clutching her knees as she coughed and gasped for air. “(Y/N), you okay?” She nodded and allowed Jack to take hold of her shoulders, his soothing encouragements helping her finally regain her breath; once he was sure that she was fine, her partner handed over her dropped gun and rested his hand against the small of her back to urge her forward. “C’mon, let’s go…”

They left the motionless spy behind and continued down the hallway, turning the corner and finding themselves at the entrance of a dimly-lit boiler room. Beside (Y/N), Jack shuddered and she recalled the story he’d told her of the mission he and Peggy had conducted to investigate one of Leviathan’s training facilities; she nudged him with her elbow and gave him a brief smile, wishing that she could offer him more comfort but not wanting to distract them both from their mission. Jack nodded as if to say he was fine, but his shoulders remained tense while he silently gestured for her to go left into the room while he went right.

(Y/N) crept behind the various boilers and pipes, careful not to slip on the slick ground as she did. If I end up surviving all this, I think I’m going to sleep for a week straight, she thought to herself, her heart rate steadily increasing with each step she took. While she edged herself around another heavy piece of industrial furnacing, she found herself trying to think of how to break Michael out of his mind-control long enough to save him; Jack insisted that cognitive re-calibration was the only way but after being present for Peggy and Michael’s reunion, she wondered if reminding him of his past or even recent actions would also do the trick. But a sharp skid noise right behind her made her forget her train of thought and turn, dodging the knife just in time.

“You really should’ve taken my offer, Agent (Y/L/N),” Attwell spat out, slashing at her with the knife again and forcing her to stumble back into the center aisle of the boiler room; the blade sliced against her forearm and she stifled her cry of pain, dropping her gun and leaping out of the way as he aimed for her again. “Soon, you and your foolish friends will be dead and Leviathan will have more power than you could possibly imagine!”

“Don’t you ever get tired of hearing your own damn voice?” (Y/N) retorted, her hand shooting out and twisting the red-colored knob beside them; a pipe next to Attwell spewed out pressurized steam and he let out a shriek of pain as the steam enveloped the right side of his face. Not wanting to stick around, she turned and sprinted further into the vast room, a part of her hoping that she’d bought herself enough time to save Michael. Skidding around a corner, she was immediately met with the sight of Jack and Michael engaged in a vicious fight on the floor; her partner was trying to wrestle something out of the other man’s closed fist, but he was so preoccupied with his task that he didn’t see Michael’s other hand brush the handle of a nearby gun. (Y/N) kicked the gun away from him, pinning his shoulder to the ground with her knee and spoke the first thing that came to mind. “Visions, light, cheered, night, dream!”

As she finished reciting the five words he’d used to encode his final message to Peggy, something shifted in Michael’s dark eyes and his clenched fist relaxed, allowing Jack to snatch the Arena Club pin from him. Before any of them could say or do anything more, a fiery ache erupted along her shoulder blade and she cried out in pain as she pitched forward. “(Y/N)!” Jack looped his arms underneath hers and dragged her over to half-lean against a pipe; her vision was partially clouded by the pain, but she could still make out the bloody knife he’d just pulled out of her upper back and tossed onto the ground beside them. “No, no, don’t look at that, just keep your eyes on me!” He pressed his trembling hand tight against the wound and when she nearly whimpered, he held the side of her face with the other and frantically nodded, his blue eyes steadily filling with panic that he struggled to control. “I-I know it hurts, baby, but I have to keep pressure on it; it’s not very deep, but I can’t have you fainting right now so keep your eyes on me, c’mon-”

“How touching,” Both of them looked up to see Attwell and Michael standing before them, the former with a self-satisfied smirk on his half-seared face and the latter staring stonily down at them. “Let’s make a new deal, Chief Thompson: Give me the key, and I won’t let Agent (Y/L/N) slowly bleed out on the floor of this boiler room.”

“Bastard.” Jack spat back, but his hand left (Y/N)’s face long enough to retrieve the Arena Club pin from his pocket and throw it into Attwell’s waiting hand. “You better start lookin’ over your shoulder now, Attwell, ‘cause I won’t rest until I kill you myself.”

Attwell shrugged and ran his fingers over the pin, twisting it sharply to convert it into a key. “Such fiery attitude in the face of doom was precisely why I was looking forward to killing you. But then I realized, forcing a man like you to live with your mistakes is a far worse punishment than death; and to make this victory sweeter, I plan on unlocking Zodiac in front of you both, so you can see just how spectacularly you failed yourselves, your agency and your country.” He turned to Michael with his brow raised in expectation. “Are you ready to make history, old chap?”

Michael nodded. “Of course…” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the metal box containing Zodiac; (Y/N) tried getting up, unwilling to sit back and let Leviathan win, but Jack’s strong arms held her in place against him. When she met his gaze, he gave her a barely-discernible head shake and with her jaw clenched tight, she watched Attwell push the key into the lock and turn it clockwise; the lid popped open and the man breathed a sigh of relief, reaching into the slightly-smoking box and holding an electric-blue colored vial with strange etchings carved into the glass.

“Beautiful, isn’t it? So much potential for war and destruction, and it fits within the palm of my hand.” Attwell looked up at Michael and continued, “My brother never appreciated such things, you know. He never truly appreciated you, either; once you were found out to be a deep-cover spy for the SOE, I saw an opportunity to mold you into the person you were always meant to be. Do you remember the first thing I told you after you came out of Hydra’s operating room?”

Michael’s hardened expression faltered, almost as if he was struggling to control his actions, and in an instant, he drew his gun and shot Attwell directly in the chest. There were tears in his eyes as he finally replied, “‘Michael, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.’”

The box and the vial slipped out of the dying man’s hands and as he began to sway dangerously on his feet, (Y/N) lunged forward and caught both in her hands before they could hit the ground. While Attwell’s lifeless body collapsed to the ground in a heap, she and Jack hurriedly placed the deadly Zodiac back into the box and slammed the lid closed; she let out a shaky breath, unable to grasp everything that had just happened. Michael dropped to his knees, tossing his gun to the side and rubbing his head with one hand; still mindful of her now-oozing wound, Jack held her a little closer as they both warily watched the unsteady man turn away from Attwell’s body to look at them. “I-It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Agent (Y/L/N). I’m Michael Carter, SOE.”

A smile slowly stretched across (Y/N)’s face and a sense of relief was beginning to wash over her as a familiar voice called throughout the boiler room. “(Y/N)? Jack?”

“We’re back here, (Y/N) needs some medical attention but we’re okay!” Jack called back, meeting (Y/N)’s gaze and flashing her a lopsided grin. “You’re gonna be fine, Specs, you hear me?” With a relieved chuckle, Jack leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her sweat-covered brow before resting his cheek on the top of her head. “We’re all gonna be fine.”

“Hey!” The first person who rounded the corner was Daniel, whose gun was already at the ready when he pointed it at Michael. “Hey, get the hell away from them!”

Jack held out a placating hand to the chief. “Easy, Danny Boy, he’s good right now; he’s the one who killed Attwell.”

Lowering his gun, Daniel limped over to where they sat against the pipe and knelt down as best he could to examine her knife wound. “Looks like the knife missed everything important, thank goodness. What the hell happened down here?”

Jack detailed everything they’d dealt with after hurrying out of the warehouse as their friends joined them; Edwin began treating her various wounds with Henry’s assistance, Howard carefully stowed the box containing Zodiac and its key into a satchel and Dugan worked on locating a weak point in the wall to blow a quick exit for them. There was a flurry of voices and activity surrounding (Y/N), but all her attention was on Peggy and Michael; they were talking to each other in low tones, Michael looking heartbreakingly unsure and Peggy trying her hardest not to cry, until they both surged forward and hugged one another. For the second time that day, (Y/N) was reminded of Freddie but while she watched the Carter siblings finally reunite, she didn’t feel sadness or envy, but rather pride. She was proud of herself, for having helped stop Leviathan’s plans and for having made-do on her promise to reunite her oldest and dearest friend with her beloved brother. If anyone deserves a second chance at happiness it’s those two, she thought to herself, taking a deep breath and resting her head against Jack’s strong shoulder.

They did it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Only one more chapter left!! Like I said, idk how I feel about this chapter as a whole so I’m sorry if there’s mistakes/it’s bad, but next week’s is gonna be great! Thank you guys so much for reading! If you haven’t checked it out yet, I created a Spotify playlist for this series and it’s linked down below!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/21pWY7OiMFj8LaYpxhtVtW

Chapter Twenty

“Specs and the Flyboy” Masterlist

Tagging: @nnon-it-up @fluffymadamina @remmyswritings @ourstarsailor @darkusangelus @josis-teacup @marvel-jackt-loki-buck @yeetyeetchickenmeat @sameoldbaby @theserenityspace @seeing-but-not-observing @supervoldejaygent​ @momc95​ @brooke0297​ @kinda-c0nfused​ @outoftheregular

#jack thompson x reader #agent carter #jack thompson #peggy carter #daniel sousa #howard stark #edwin jarvis #dum dum dugan #pinky pinkerton #happy sam sawyer #the howling commandos #michael carter #dottie underwood #marvel cinematic universe #strategic scientific reserve

[buck-buck-boose]

I'll Love You 'Til I Die

Masterlist | Playlist

Summary: A Brooklyn schoolgirl fell in love with James Buchanan Barnes at the tender age of nine. With this love she made a vow, promising to love him until her very last breath.

Pairing: Bucky x OFC

Warnings: Language, violence

Word Count: 4.3k

Author's Note: I am... so sorry for taking so long. I was not expecting the start of the semester to be so hectic. I can't promise I'll go back to posting as regularly as during the summer, but I can promise that I'm not disappearing. I promise. I WILL SEE THIS FANFIC THROUGH EVEN IF IT KILLS ME. Thank you for the kind words and support while I've been MIA. Enjoy a chunky chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Little Saint Lottie

October 27, 1943

“I’m worried about her, Betty.”

“I know, Gladys. I know.”

Lottie couldn’t remember the last time she’d gotten a full night’s rest. Days seemed to bleed into each other, with no slumber to distinguish today from tomorrow. It wasn’t long after arriving at Azzano that she realized that he wasn’t waiting for her. Bucky was gone. In his place, dozens of men awaited her arrival with sunken eyes and twitching lips that begged for relief, whether it be through a healing touch or a final blow to the head.

When the realization hit Lottie, there wasn’t much she could do besides throwing herself into her work; if she couldn’t help Bucky, the least she could do was help his brothers in arms. Although anxiety ate her up from the inside out, Lottie had confidence in Bucky’s abilities. He wouldn’t let himself die in some POW camp, he just wouldn’t. Because then who would take care of her and Steve? He’d fight tooth and nail to get back to them, she just knew it.

She threw herself into her work, rarely stopping long enough to have a proper conversation or a full meal; this bad habit of hers came to a halt, though, when she came upon a boisterous redhead in need of stitches. Lottie had been deep in thought while examining the gash above his forehead when the soldier cracked a grin and peered up at her without moving his head too much.

“Do I know you from somewhere?”

Lottie shook her head, “I’m afraid not, Private—” she glanced at his dog tags, “—O’Connor.”

“Ever done pinup? Maybe I know you from one of those cheesecakes we’ve got hanging up.” The man— more of a boy really, with his lanky frame and jovial smile —wiggled his eyebrows and ruined her diligent work of cleaning the blood from his wound.

The question left Lottie flustered; the idea of dozens of men gawking at her scantily clad figure left her feeling mortified, “Certainly not! I find that my talents are better suited for healing.”

O’Connor nodded and inspected her face carefully as she went to work on his gash once more. “I’ve got it!” Lottie nearly jumped away from him when he clapped his hands together, “You’re Little Saint Lottie, in the flesh!” The boy crowed his revelation, earning him glares from the other men recovering in the medic tent.

Lottie nearly dropped the needle that she’d been preparing to thread, “Excuse me?”

“Ah, it’s a funny story,” O’Connor chuckled, “Y’see, Sarge had this little photo he’d take everywhere. Always had it in his pocket, tucked in his helmet, you name it. Wouldn’t let the damn thing go. Anyway, we stole it out of his fatigues one day while he was cleaning up in some river ‘cause we wanted to see what the big deal was. Once we saw it was some dame—” Lottie shot him a look, “—lady, we started yanking his chain about it. He was just about as obsessed with that photo as my Ma is with her holy cards, so when he finally told us your name, we dubbed you ‘Little Saint Lottie,’ patron saint of the one hundred and seventh. That kinda pissed him off, but it’s not like you’re his girl, y’know? Though he sure acted like you were.”

Lottie was speechless. About halfway through his story, her mouth had dropped open and her hands had fallen to her lap. Here she was, looking dumb as an ox, while the soldier in front of her chuckled with childish glee.

“Me and the guys would even ask for your intercession whenever the chaplain came by to pray with us. Poor guy had no clue which saint we were talkin’ about. We tried to give it a place of honor in the tent but Sarge made us run laps when he found out we’d nicked it again.”

O’Connor nearly doubled over in laughter as he watched Lottie’s expression grow in horror. “Well as I’m sure Bucky— Sergeant Barnes has told you, I’m no saint. I’m just a nurse. Now hold still, unless you want these stitches to be more painful than they already are.” Before she could stop herself, the question came tumbling out of her mouth, “Speaking of Sergeant Barnes, do you know—” she fumbled with the needle as she made the first stitch, “—is he alright? Did you see him?” The soldier let out a hiss of pain, “Yeah, I got a glimpse of him while they were takin’ him away. He was battered but alright. There’s no man quite like Sarge, I know he’ll be back. He’d fight tooth and nail to get back. That’s what he said at least, ‘cause he always went on and on about how you needed him and all that. He sure talked about you an awful lot for a guy who hasn’t even asked you to go steady.”

Lottie’s breath hitched at the final comment, the mere idea of going steady with Bucky reducing her to a stuttering schoolgirl. She began to tie off his stitches, “We’ve been best friends for over a decade, it’s perfectly normal to care for each other deeply without bringing affection into it.”

O’Connor shrugged, which jostled her arm slightly, “I’ve never heard a guy talk about his best friend like that.”

Lottie didn’t respond. She gave his fully sutured wound one last glance, “Looks like you’re all set. Now don’t do anything stupid to get it infected.”

He gave her a crooked grin and wiggled his eyebrows, Lottie nearly scolded him but held her tongue, “As you wish, Saint Lottie.”

Lottie rolled her eyes and moved along to the next bed, where another soldier waited with a smile just as wide. It seemed that these men had become pleased as punch to know their patroness had come to grace them with her presence.

The USO’s visit to their camp took Lottie completely by surprise. She’d spent so much time floating from one medic tent to the next that she’d ended up completely out of the loop of the camp’s other goings-on. It wasn’t until she saw the fully-erected stage in the middle of camp that she realized. Her heart beat powerfully within her; with Steve here, she would be one step closer to finding Bucky. One step closer to bringing him home. “They say he’s gonna be here in a few hours,” Mary beamed, obviously giddy to see the Star-Spangled Man up close and in the flesh.

Lottie returned her smile, though it was weak. The weariness was starting to catch up to her, making her feel much older than a youthful twenty-three. Her stomach was in knots with anxiety; she needed to get to Steve as soon as possible.

Betty stood with them as they watched the hustle and bustle of preparations, “I’m pretty sure we’re the only ones looking forward to seeing Captain America. All these boys care about is seeing a bunch of girls dancing for them on stage, not some hunk of meat in a red, white, and blue suit.”

Nancy, who had just joined the conversation, scoffed, “It’s quite disappointing how little you think of these men and their patriotism.”

Gladys rolled her eyes, “They’re still men, Nancy. Scantily clad women or a guy singing about war bonds? They’re gonna prefer the women.”

Several hours later, Gladys was indeed proven right. Although he’d been driven off-stage with jeers and taunts, Lottie was waiting for him with a warm embrace.

“Hey, Lottie,” She could hear the smile in his voice, she felt its warm timbre as it surrounded her and reminded her of home.

“Good to see ya, Stevie.”

Steve pulled away from her and gazed around the camp, a grimace growing on his features, “Things don’t look to good around here.”

Lottie nodded, a twin grimace gracing her lips, “The hundred and seventh started out with two hundred men. Now they’ve only got fifty left. They’re barely holding on.”

Steve’s gaze shot to hers the moment she mentioned the one hundred and seventh, “Lottie that’s— this is Bucky’s—” The desperate look in his eyes made her own calm exterior begin to crack.

“Stevie, I know,” she whispered, a lump forming in her throat and tears pricking at her eyes, “I know, and I’m sorry. He’s not here. They— Those bastards took him, damn them!” For the first time since arriving at camp, Lottie cried. She sobbed and clung to Steve once more, feeling every bit like a scared little girl from days gone by.

Steve rested his hand against her back, “I’ll get him out, Lottie. He’s gotta be alive and I’ll get him out.”

She shook her head and wiped the hot tears from her cheeks, “No, Steve. You’re not going alone. I’m coming with you.”

“Lottie, you know I can’t put you in harm’s way like that—”

“Steve. I’m serious. What do you think I was doing that whole time I was with the SSR? Yes, we were making the serum, but they nearly trained us to death. I can shoot, I can use my knife. I can’t let you go without me.” Her voice was starting to crack, “We have to find Bucky together.”

There was silence between the two of them until Steve finally conceded, a wary gaze in his eyes, “Fine. But you need to be by my side the whole time.” Lottie nodded her chest warming with hope. “C’mon, we need to have a conversation with Colonel Philipps.”

The two of them jogged to his tent with their coats held above their heads to shield them from a sudden shower of rain. They entered the colonel’s tent, looking comical with their wet hair and heaving chests. Around them, soldiers and officials paced to and fro, examining maps or signing off various forms. If Lottie squinted, she could just barely make out the words. Letters of condolences; heartbreakingly clinical letters of regret for the losses of these sons, these brothers, these boys.

“Colonel Phillips,” Steve began, “Are you planning a rescue mission? For the surviving prisoners from the Battle of Azzano?”

The colonel looked back at him with a straight face, “Yeah, it’s called winning the war.”

Steve’s blond eyebrows furrowed, “But if you know where they are why not at least—”

“They’re thirty miles behind the lines. Through some of the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We’d lose more men than we’d save, but I don’t expect you to understand that because you’re a chorus girl,” before Lottie could protest, he shot her a glance as well, “and you’re just a nurse.”

Steve’s gaze on Colonel Phillips was cool, “I think I understand just fine.”

The colonel pushed past them, “Well then understand it somewhere else. Now if I read the posters correctly, you’ve got someplace to be in thirty minutes.”

“Yes sir, I do.”

Steve grabbed Lottie’s hand and pulled her behind him, “C’mon, we’ve gotta get going. You go get changed.”

Lottie nodded; her medical uniform would impede this mission so she’d need to wear the fatigues that the government had finally issued to them. Her heart raced a mile a minute as she scrambled back to the nurse’s tent to change. She knew that Colonel Philipps would be terribly angry once he found out she’d shirked her night duties, but her loyalties to Bucky took precedence. The recovering soldiers were left in the capable hands of her peers. She swore as she nearly toppled over while yanking her boots on; it was rather hard to get dressed in such a hurry. By the time she was ready and had exited the tent, she was met with the somber faces of Agent Carter and Steve.

“Agent Carter, what are you doing?” For a moment, she feared that they’d already been caught, that the SSR was already putting an end to their mission.

The other woman pursed her lips, “I’m here to help.”

A mere half-hour later and they found themselves in the SSR’s plane, headed to Krausberg, where the POW camp was located. Howard Stark called out to them from the cockpit, “We should be able to drop you right at their doorstep.”

Fear was starting to creep into Lottie’s mind and burrowed itself deep within her gut. She heard the conversation continue all around her, but she was still processing the daunting mission before her. She and Steve up against Hydra. All alone. Even Bucky had struggled against them; he’d lost to them in the Battle of Azzano. Bucky. That’s what worried her most. It’s what filled her with the most fear. If she and Steve got through the Hydra camp safe and sound only to find that he was dead, Lottie wasn’t sure how she’d deal with it. She’d probably go mad, in all honesty. She’d end up in some institution, crying over lucky pennies and charcoal drawings while being molly-coddled by some woman in white. How tragic that would be.

Before her thoughts could become any darker, Lottie was jolted back to reality by the sound of bullets against metal. Steve grabbed his shield and her arm, urging her to join him by the plane’s exit.

Agent Carter shot up from her seat, “Get back here! We’re taking you all the way in!”

He turned to respond, “As soon as I’m clear, you turn this thing around and get the hell out of here!” “You can’t give me orders!”

A smile grew on his face, “The hell I can’t! I’m a captain!”

Steve shifted his goggles and nudged Lottie, “It’s go time. When you see me pull the chute out, you do the same.”

Lottie nodded with a quiet determination, and together, they jumped.

Entering the base was painstakingly quiet; once they’d snuck into a truck and eliminated the guards inside, Steve and Lottie were left to mouth words and offer silent support through unwavering gazes. Once they’d safely passed the gate of the base, they exited the truck and swiftly dealt with any opposition.

Steve led her across the base with caution, giving hand signals when it was safe to turn a corner and sprint across a patch of unobstructed space. The two of them traveled with the shadows, avoiding any spotlights that could catch them in the act. Lottie scarcely felt that she could breathe, it was as if one exhale would reveal their presence to the multitude of guards.

Once they entered the main building, the two of them found themselves in what seemed to be a factory. There were giant sheets of metal everywhere and huge bombs seemed to surround them. Amongst them all, Hydra soldiers transported other metal parts and containers of glowing blue material. That did not bode well with Lottie at all.

Lottie spotted some guards walking to a lower level, jangling keys in hand. “Steve, they might be guarding the prisoners.” Her whisper was barely audible, fear keeping her from speaking any louder.

“The blueprints said they were below the manufacturing level. C’mon.”

They followed the guards onto a walkway that had large circular grates that cut into the metal, each forming the ceiling of small cells that the poor prisoners had been separated into. Lottie and Steve knocked the guards out and stole their keys. The two dropped to the same level as the cells and began unlocking their doors.

One of the soldiers gazed at them through the bars of his cell, “Who are you supposed to be?”

Steve panted from stress, “I’m Captain America.” He gave Lottie an expectant look.

“I guess I’m Little Saint Lottie,” she responded somewhat sarcastically, referencing the retrospectively comical nickname that was developed by the one hundred and seventh.

Some of the men cracked grins, “So you’ve heard our prayers, huh?”

“Loud and clear. Now let’s get you out of here, yeah?”

She tried to ignore the growing horror inside of her upon the realization that none of these men had brilliant blue eyes. Not a dimpled chin in sight.

“Is there anybody else? I’m looking for a Sergeant James Barnes.” It seemed that the same horror was growing within Steve.

A man in a scarlet beret responded, his British accent prim and proper, “There’s an isolation ward in the factory, but no one’s ever come back from it.”

“Alright,” Steve nodded, “The tree line is northwest, 80 yards past the gate. Get out fast and give ‘em hell. We’ll meet you guys out in the clearing with anyone else we find.”

“Wait, you know what you’re doing?” “Yeah. I’ve knocked out Adolf Hitler over two hundred times.”

Lottie couldn’t help but stare at Steve in amazement. Gone was that awkward boy from Brooklyn. He was a man now, a leader who could do anything he put his mind to. He’d grown so much, not just physically, but in his character.

While the prisoners worked their way out of the base, Steve and Lottie began their search for the isolation wards. Lottie tried to ignore the sounds of explosions and men crying out from below them while they traveled across metal catwalks. She could only hope that the cries of pain were coming from Hydra soldiers.

After turning several corners, they found themselves in an old hallway, surrounded by brick on both sides. They hurried down the corridor out of desperation; they knew they were running out of time. Lottie stopped suddenly when she heard a groan. It was close. She drew her weapon and dragged Steve into the room, her heart stuttering and her palms slick with sweat.

“Sergeant. Three-two-five-five-seven…” That voice. Oh, how she knew that voice; she loved it so. Lottie heard it whenever she found the time to fall asleep. It crept into her sweetest dreams but tore her apart whenever it wiggled its way into her nightmares.

Bucky lay in front of them, strapped down to a table; his lips moved ever so slightly as he repeated the same phrase over and over again.

She rushed to his side alongside Steve and nearly let out a cry of happiness. Had the situation not been so dire, she would’ve descended upon him with a bone-crushing embrace and great big sobs of joy by that point.

Lottie whispered a quiet, “Bucky?” His eyes were glazed over and his mouth agape, “Is that— is that—”

“It’s us, Buck,” Steve nodded reassuringly as he tore at the straps across Bucky’s chest. Bucky looked up at him, taking his face in,

“Us?”

“Me and Lottie,” he nodded, tugging her closer so that the two of them could be in Bucky’s field of vision.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at him, finally feeling whole again. She’d gotten her Brooklyn boys back. Bucky only looked back in confusion, “Little Lottie, she— she’s always been here. Always. Stayed with me the whole time.”

It was Lottie and Steve’s turn for confusion. Lottie brushed the hair back from his forehead to calm him down and ground him, “Bucky, I’ve been with the SSR this whole time. We’re here to rescue you.”

Steve nodded and dragged him off the table, “I thought you were dead.”

Bucky was obviously having a hard time processing everything that was happening, “I thought you were smaller.”

Lottie listened as the gunfire intensified, “Come on, we need to move.” Steve threw one of Bucky’s arms over his shoulder and the two fell into step behind her.

“What happened to you?” Bucky grunted out, pain etched into his voice.

“I joined the army.”

“Did it hurt?”

Steve was growing agitated, “A little.”

“Is it permanent?”

“So far.” Lottie huffed, “I’d sure hope so after all that effort I put into it.”

Bucky mustered out a befuddled, “Huh?”

“I helped to create the serum that made him like that.”

“So that’s why you left without saying a word.” Bucky’s tone was only slightly accusatory.

Lottie muttered a weak “Yeah.” They’d need to have a lengthier conversation once he wasn’t struggling to walk five yards.

As they crossed the catwalks to get towards the exit, the factory below them began to combust. Huge flames erupted from the metal contraptions and triggered explosions all around them. They hastily climbed the metal stairs to get to higher ground.

“Captain America, how exciting!” A thick German accent cut through the noise of explosions and gunfire. “I am a great fan of your films!” Before them stood two men; one was a short little fellow clad in a jacket and fedora. The other was tall and wore a distinguished Hydra uniform with its menacing crest emblazoned on his shoulder.

The taller of the two gave Captain America a once over as he strode across the catwalk that separated them, “So, Dr. Erskine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, but still, impressive.”

“You’ve got no idea,” Steve snarled and punched the man in the face. The swift blow caused a blotch of redness to appear near his eye and a sinking feeling of realization settled into Lottie’s stomach. This was Schmidt, the monster who used the serum prototype.

Before she could say anything, Schmidt struck back and left a dent in Steve’s shield, “Haven’t I?”

There was a brief scuffle before Schmidt backed off while the other man pulled a lever, pulling the catwalk apart. With a grin, Schmidt began pulling at the skin of his face and revealed fiery red muscle and tissue beneath, just as Lottie had seen when she first began experimenting with the formula. “You are deluded, Captain. You pretend to be a simple soldier, but in reality, you are just afraid to admit that we have left humanity behind. Unlike you, I embrace it proudly. Without fear!”

“Then how come you’re running?”

Steve never got an answer. Schmidt and the other man had already boarded an elevator and left them standing on the catwalk, nearly helpless.

Another explosion went off, cueing the trio to leave, “C’mon, let’s go. Up.” Lottie instructed the men to follow her, though she wasn’t too sure how to escape the factory. All she knew was that they needed to keep ascending the stairs.

When they reached the top of the stairs, they were faced with a metal beam that led to a catwalk with an exit. It was terrifyingly slim, with only enough room to place one foot in front of the other.

“Ladies first,” Bucky murmured, “but I’ll be right behind you.” Lottie felt sure of herself knowing that at least she wouldn’t have to cross on her own.

She took a tentative first step, testing how well it would hold her weight. Lottie tried not to look down at the fiery pit below while she carefully moved along the beam. It was a comfort to have Bucky behind her with his chest nearly pressed against her back as he followed her every step. Lottie had just scrambled over the railing of the catwalk when a jarring explosion shifted the beam’s position and sent it careening downwards. She gasped in horror as Bucky leaped to grab onto the catwalk.

“There’s gotta be a rope or something!”

Steve stared at the two of them from across the pit, “Just go! Get out of here!”

Bucky slammed his fist on the railing, desperation tearing at his voice, “No, not without you!”

“Steve, please! We can’t just leave you here!” Lottie pleaded. Steve couldn’t die, not like this.

With a look of determination, Steve backed up and made a running jump to clear the gap between the two catwalks. An explosion threatened to swallow him up, but he made it over safely, although a little worse for wear.

Lottie and Bucky could only stare in amazement. Steve nodded to them both, “Let’s get outta here.”

Several ladders and a whole lot of dodging later, the trio found themselves trudging towards the tree line.

It was silent amongst the three of them; painfully, dreadfully silent. She decided it was time to break the silence, “Bucky, I—”

“Look, Little Lottie, I know you’re sorry, alright? And I forgive you. Even though you lied to my face and left without saying goodbye, I had a whole lotta time to spend forgiving you.”

Now that the fear of being caught by Hydra soldiers had fully subsided, Lottie allowed herself to let out a sob of joy and nearly threw herself at Bucky. She almost apologized for the force of her embrace since it was likely to hurt a man who’d been captured by Hydra, but he didn’t show any sign of pain. She’d need to remember that for later.

“I missed you so much, Bucky. I really did,” Lottie nearly whimpered. Gosh, she sure sounded lovesick. “I missed you too, Little Lottie.” His embrace was sure and strong, and with it, a flood of memories came back to her. Nights on her fire escape. A birthday evening spent swing dancing. A lucky penny slipped into her hand. For the first time in months, Lottie finally felt whole. Her heart that had been splintered into shards of pain and hopelessness had finally begun to mend itself back together. While she found comfort in his arms and forgiveness, she knew there were still so many words left unsaid; words that he needed and deserved to hear.

“Yeah, I missed you guys too,” Steve muttered, obviously peeved that he was being left out of their moment.

“Aw, come on, Stevie,” Lottie grinned and pulled away from Bucky a little to allow Steve to join their hug.

“And if I remember correctly, Bucky, I think it’s actually Little Saint Lottie now,” she grinned. While she couldn’t see his face at the moment, she just knew it was turning a gorgeous shade of scarlet, based on the sputtering coming out of his mouth.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky x ofc #bucky imagine #bucky fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fanfic #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes ff #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #1940s bucky #40s!bucky x ofc #40s!bucky x original female character #40s!bucky x reader #40s!bucky #bucky x original character #bucky x original female character #bucky x oc #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes feels

[mugi-chan]

❞ Dance and Wishes ❝

ლ  Content: Deuce, Trey, and Idia’s S/O react to them wearing the dance and wishes outfit!

ლ  Warnings: None!

ლ Comments: As of now I did not get the new Deuce SSR, I’m praying i get it before the event ends (╥﹏╥)

Deuce was so excited to show off his new outfit. 

Once he revealed himself to you in his new outfit all of that excitement went to a blushing boy who doesn’t know how to compose himself. 

If you mention anything about his shoulders being exposed he may think they may look and quickly will try to cover them up. 

You have to encourage him by saying how he looks good in the outfit and he should be proud of wearing it. 

Ace would probably make fun of Deuce’s reaction so feel free to give a nudge to be quiet. 

Deuce is red in the face but is loving the attention he is getting from you. 

Wanting to make you proud he would do this event with great pride will see to it to the end

Even though it was completely the opposite of what he expected it to be

So much work, but him remembering you complimenting him will keep him going. 

Every time you see him in his outfit, give him so compliments and he would completely forget what he was doing and would be talking to you none stop

Trey may have to drag his kouhai to get everything completed on time

Trey wouldn’t be as excited yet too embarrassed to wear the outfit. 

Seeing you completely enamored over his biceps may bring a blush on his face 

I mean look at them! Holy moley, you didn’t think underneath his uniform was biceps

Well it does make sense if you think about it. He has to carry his dorm and carry around probably heavy bags of flour in his family bakery. 

Butttt he would find it cute seeing how fascinated you are about him. 

He would just awkwardly pat your head and give you a small smile

“Thank you (y/n), it means a lot coming from you” 

He loves seeing your face light up seeing all the details on the outfit. 

Even wanting to try on the headpiece 

Maybe once the event is over Trey can let you try on the head piece

Seeing him with his coat off, woah that’s a whole other story 

You never seen him wear anything like this, the closest thing you ever seen him in is his PE uniform 

But even then it doesn’t stop the fact that Trey feels more exposed then ever

He doesn’t wanted to be here at all

He wants to be in his room and never come out 

And it doesn’t help that you and ortho are complimenting him left and right telling him how good he looks in the clothing

He just wants love and affection but not like this

Your face when you saw him was priceless

Your boyfriend, a shy introverted gaming loving boyfriend is out here with his SHOULDERS EXPOSED?!

Oh my goodness, is it your birthday already? (Maybe it is, if so Happy birthday!) 

You would be attached to him examining everything on the clothing 

It’s so pretty and suits him well! 

Idia mentions how it reminds him of the Chitons he wore back home 

Now that sparked your interest even more

So this is the closest thing you seen him in his home’s traditional garment? 

How amazing!

Would you like to order something? Look at our Tea shop rules first!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #heartslabyul #ignihyde #deuce spade #trey clover #idia shroud #deuce spade x reader #trey clover x reader #idia shroud x reader

[3pirouette]

Fic: Six Dates, Times, and Places (1/1)

Title: Six Dates, Times, and Places By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette Spoilers: Endgame Disclaimer: They're not mine. Word Count: 3488 Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :)

Story Summary: The night before Steve leaves to return the stones, Bucky gives him one last mission.

A/N: Check out THIS POST for links to a guy on Tik Tok who says it about Steve and Bucky better than I ever could. This was inspired by his posts, and this satisfies the “Bucky Barnes” square on my Steggy Bingo Bash card.

~*~ The Night Before

Bucky sat across from him, quiet. Steve was waiting him out, and Bucky was thankful, for the millionth time, for his best friend. He scratched his head, eyes squeezed shut. “I just… I don’t know how to say it, exactly.”

Steve kicked his feet up on the coffee table between them, “If it’s about me going tomorrow- it’ll be quick. Five seconds for you, not even.” Steve smiled and laughed lightly, trying to reassure his friend. “Doubt you could even finish taking a piss in the time I’m gone.”

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh, his eyes still shut tight. “Yeah, yeah, I guess.”

“I’m not worried. We did it before…” Bucky opened his eyes, watching Steve cross his arms. Bucky knew his friend was harboring at least a little anxiety even if he didn’t want to admit it. He could see it in the set of his shoulders.

Bucky couldn’t keep the smile off his face, but it was more from nerves and the gnawing feeling in his stomach that what he was about to do would somehow screw it all up. “Yeah, see, that’s the thing. It won’t be ten seconds for you.”

“A few hours—”

“Years.”

Steve tilted his head at Bucky’s correction, but didn’t say anything.

“You see, I thought I was going nuts, when they first got all that programming out of me. When Shuri insisted I could trust my memories, because they were…” Bucky stopped shaking his head. He’d told Steve some of it. His best friend knew what nightmares haunted him.

“But there were a few times…” he started again, leaning forward and running his hand through his hair, “There was this one memory that I just could not get to make any sense. And now?” He laughed, lightly at first, but it grew. It grew until he was actually smiling and he looked up at Steve with joy in his eyes. “Now I know it’s real, because time travel is fucking real.”

Bucky’s grin was contagious, and Steve couldn’t help but smile a little. “I don’t understand.”

Bucky nodded, his voice still light and anxious. “I know you don’t. But I don’t know if I should tell you, either. Won’t it like- mess up the space-time continuum or something?”

Steve shrugged. “Bruce and Strange say anything we do- did- in the past will be fixed when I put the stones back.” He leaned forward, kicking his feet back down and placing his elbows on his knees. “I don’t claim to really understand it, but Strange assured me that it will work out. That the things that have happened, that will happen, are supposed to and…” Steve spayed his hands, shaking his head. “I gotta trust these guys know more about it than I do.”

Bucky sat quietly for a minute, his hands interlaced, his flesh fingers playing over the ridges in his vibranium hand. He stood, pulled a small piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Steve. He didn’t let the man take it, though, just held his hand in both of his, the paper between them, and looked down at him. His voice was low when he finally spoke, serious. Melodious Russian fell from his lips. “Now you,” he nodded down at Steve.

Steve was confused, but he tried to repeat it back, stumbling over the sounds.

Bucky pursed his lips and shook his head, still holding Steve’s hand tight. “You have to say it exactly as I say it, and you have to promise me you’re never going to forget it, ok?”

“Buck- what—”

Bucky’s dark look stopped Steve’s words. “Promise me.”

“I promise.” Steve’s reply was without hesitation.

They repeated the call and response a dozen times until Steve’s words sounded exactly like Bucky’s.

Bucky let go of Steve’s hand, satisfied. Steve unfurled the small folded paper, his brows furrowing as he looked back up. Bucky’s shoulders slumped, a memory he wasn’t ready to share taking over. “You’ll know,” he mumbled as he walked away, “you’ll know.”

~*~ 1948

Steve tried to keep a low profile as he moved down the path. It was a long and winding path along the riverfront, and he didn’t know what he was looking for, which made things worse.

Date, time, place. Six neat rows in Bucky’s blocky handwriting on a scrap of paper. He didn’t know for sure what they were, but he had guesses.

He knew the nightmares that haunted Bucky. He knew about some of the things he’d done. Steve wanted to help, he did, but he only had enough Pym Particles for one more trip. He picked the earliest date on the list and prayed he could find Bucky and stop him, find a way to save him, before anything else happened.

He prayed he figured it out this time, because in his heart he knew he’d use those particles to go to the next date on the list if he didn’t, and end up taking the long way back to his friends.

He wasn’t abandoning Bucky, not when he’d so clearly asked him for help.

It was the only thing that had made sense. Steve couldn’t quite tease out why the Russian phrase was so important, but he’d spent the night awake, lying in bed, repeating it over and over. Buck had asked for help without saying it, had given him the choice and the opportunity, knowing they were giving him a few more Pym Particles than he needed, just in case. He was going to overpower Bucky and… and help him. It was the only option he had.

He knew he couldn’t take Bucky back with him for multiple reasons, but maybe he could get him to someone that could help. It would be too early for Fury, but Howard, maybe, or Phillips…

The walk along the Potomac was buzzing with people, the crisp Spring air of ’48 a draw, the cherry trees in full bloom around them. It would have been a nice night for a stroll if he wasn’t so anxious. The cheap windbreaker he bought only barely covered the shape of the shield on his back, but it kept the chill of the wind off the water away. It would have been a beautiful place for a walk if he wasn’t so intently looking for any sign of the Winter Soldier…

He stopped in his tracks, eyes glued across the way. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

There she was, just sitting under one of the cherry trees in a little nook away from the water, legs crossed, a cup of coffee in one hand and eyes on the folder in her other hand.

He watched for what felt like forever, his eyes glued to the way she sipped the coffee, the attention she was giving the file, the way she bounced her top leg and wiggled her toes to keep her shoe on just right.

He’d been afraid of this.

He’d been afraid of coming here and seeing her.

Peggy Carter. Alive. Breathing. Young and beautiful and within a few yards of him.

He almost hadn’t made it out of Lehigh last time. Tony never knew he’d seen her, never knew that he almost gave it all up for a chance to hear her voice say his name again.

He’d asked Tony to put it all on the line, and he’d been ready to throw the future of the masses away just to hear his name on her lips.

She was so much younger here. Still in the SSR. Still making a name for herself. Still working to build Shield.

Still two years away from a marriage to a man whose name he didn’t know, and didn’t think he wanted to know. He’d never asked her, and she’d never said. He was happy she moved on. Proud that she’d been able to do so much professionally and personally.

But as he stood, the cherry blossom petals falling around her, making her look like a princess out of some fantasy movie, he wanted nothing more than to march up to her and fall to his knees and tell her everything.

He wanted to rest his weary head in her lap and feel her red nails scrape through his hair and lull him to calm.

He wanted to hear the soft English accent tell him that he was alright. That he’d made the right choices.

He wanted her to know that he loved her, deeply, and he had never and would never stop loving her even seventy years from now.

His heart was pounding in his chest, the effort to keep his feet where they were monumental when he saw it: the tiniest reflection of light along her shoulder.

His stomach clenched and his mind raced. He knew that glint, he’d seen it far too often on the battlefield a lifetime ago. He’d never forget the way the light reflected off Bucky’s sharpshooter rifle as he adjusted it to get his man in his sights. He’d seen it too many times.

Steve was yelling and moving before he could think.

She looked up at him, already wide eyes growing comically wider as she saw him, but listened as he shouted for her to hit the ground. Her papers scattered as she dove to the concrete, tucking and rolling with him as he covered her and pulled her behind the bench as two silenced bullets put holes in the concrete in front of them.

He pulled her to her knees behind the bench. He shed the jacket he was wearing and pulled out the shield from his back, hiding her behind it. Her breaths were shaky, jaw bouncing as she looked at him, unable to form words. She reached up, a hand going to his cheek, disbelieving.

She was about to speak when another bullet ricocheted off the vibranium, the sound telling them both the shooter was closer than they’d thought. She scrambled, pulling up the side of her skirt and pulling a gun from her garter. “I expect answers,” she told him shakily as she turned towards the bench.

He nodded, refocusing. “Stay here I’ll—”

“Bloody unlikely!”

Another shot against the shield startled them, this one even closer. Steve didn’t give her a choice as he stood. “Cover me!”

He jumped over the concrete bench and dropped the shield just in time to raise it again and ward off another shot. He tried to stay calm, tried to think of him as the Winter Soldier, but all he could see was Bucky in his full tactical gear, face covered, mentally broken and twisted and aiming at Peggy with a chilling, myopic gaze.

Steve threw himself forward, knocking Bucky off his feet. The men grappled on the concrete as the people around them scattered, yelling. He could hear Peggy behind him, but he tried his best to keep his focus. Bucky had always been good in a fight, but Hydra and the Russians had trained him well. Steve managed to get the gun out of his hands, kicking it away toward Peggy for safe keeping as Bucky managed to get to his feet and ran at him again, this time a knife in his hand.

It was like deja vu, the way Bucky fought. The blows and parries were almost identical to the fight he put up years ago when Steve met Bucky as the Winter Soldier for the first time, fighting under the interstate. Steve was on the defensive as soon as they were up on their feet again, thankful for the shield he was able to keep between them. The crack of a gunshot filled the air and Bucky’s right knee collapsed for a moment, enough for him to lose focus as he looked back at Peggy.

Steve took the opening. He managed a spin, taking Bucky off guard and knocking him to the pavement, already off balance from the bullet wound. The victory was momentary: Bucky kicked himself back to his feet and pounced at Steve, despite the limp in his step.

After a frenzied moment of pushing, pulling and punching, Steve growled, pushed hard, and hit Bucky in the side of the head with his shield. “Bucky, stop!”

Bucky stepped back, pulling a small handgun from the back of his belt as he shook his head. His eyes cleared for a moment before the cloud of the Winter Soldier took them back over. “You are not my mission,” he growled out in English, the mask over his face slurring the words as he lifted the gun and leveled it over Steve’s shoulder.

“Steve, I don’t have a shot!” Peggy shouted from behind him.

It felt like time was standing still. Like he could step out of his body and see it all. In that moment, he understood exactly what Bucky had wanted, what Bucky had been trying to tell him.

Years, Bucky had said. But he’d said it with a smile.

Six dates, times, and places.

Not times and places where Steve could stop him.

Six times and places where Steve already did stop him.

Six dates, times, and places where the Winter Soldier would try to assassinate the head of Shield, Margaret Carter.  

He charged forward, jumping and catching Bucky around the waist with his legs, forcing his shot to go wild up in the air as he dropped the shield and locked his arms around Bucky’s neck. They both groaned, hard, as they hit the ground, but Steve didn’t let up his hold. He waited just long enough for him to slow his struggle, and he said it. Loud and clear, Steve repeated the Russian phrase Bucky had taught him, and the Winter Soldier went limp in his arms.

Bucky stopped struggling, his eyes clouded and unfocused. Slowly, Steve untangled himself, letting the man stand. He grabbed his shield as Peggy slowly got closer, gun drawn high. The Winter Soldier looked at them both, looked around, and without a word disappeared back in to the outcrop of bushes he’d come from.

Steve and Peggy followed wordlessly, but by the time they’d beat their way through the underbrush to the edge of the river, he was gone. Not a footprint, not a broken branch, nothing to give them a hint of the direction he went.

Peggy stopped a few feet away from Steve, staring at him in the setting sun, her gun still in her hand and only a second from being expertly aimed at him if need be. “That man was sent to kill me.”

Steve nodded, shield hanging limply from his hand, heart pounding. “Yes.”

He could see the shake starting in her hands. “And you stopped it.”

“Yes,” he nodded again, afraid to step closer.

She closed the distance, jaw clenched tight, stopping only inches from him. Her eyes roamed his face, looking for something that he didn’t know how to give. “Are you working for them, now?” Peggy asked cautiously.

“Them?” He tried to slow down his breathing, but found it was near impossible now that he could smell her perfume.

“The Russians,” she supplied, pursing her lips tight as she inched closer. “What you said to him…” She took a deep breath, “Though I suppose if I have to tell you…” Her smile was tentative. “You never were a good liar.”

He slipped the shield on his back slowly, never taking his eyes from hers, his voice soft but stern. “I’m not working with the Russians.”

Peggy’s hand reached out, slowly coming to rest on his chest. Her smile grew as she felt him, firm and real, under her fingers. “Where have you been, Steve? I thought you were dead.”

His hand covered hers, gently. “It’s…” He faltered. He’d never imagined actually talking to her, actually being forced to say all that had happened, all that would happen. He didn’t know how to get her to believe him, to trust him. He swallowed, hard, and took Peggy’s hand in both of his. “It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you as much as you’re willing to listen to.” He cleared his throat, emotion welling up. “First, I think I should apologize for missing our date.”

Her hand tightened her hold on his, but her eyes stayed sharp. “Copacabana Club at 9 in the evening.”

Steve smiled and shook his head, knowing she’d need to hear it from his lips. “Stork Club. Eight on the dot. I was gonna have them play something slow.”

“So you won’t step on my…” She let the sentence fall away and nodded, satisfied. Her smile was blinding, even though tears were welling in her eyes. “You’re late.”

He let his hand fall over her cheek and pushed the hair away from her face. “I won’t be ever again. I promise.”

~*~ Immediately After

Bucky waited until Sam stepped back, bag with the shield in it slung over his shoulder, to approach him. “Was I right or was I right?”

Bucky saw Steve’s shoulders shake with laughter. He wanted to say he looked frail, but he could tell despite the wrinkles around his eyes and the larger clothes designed to hide his frame that he was still strong and sharp.

Steve looked up at Bucky, smiling as he sat next to him. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Thought I might mess things up.” Bucky shrugged his shoulders, hands still stuffed in his pockets. “Wasn’t sure if I was supposed to or not, or even if my own brain was fucking with me, so I figured a few hints and your smart ass would figure it out.”

Steve nodded, his eyes tearing over. “We tried, Buck.”

Bucky lifted his right hand, pressing it to Steve’s shoulder. “I know you did.” He looked his friend in the eyes, and could see past the wrinkles and the grey hair to his best friend that he shared sleepovers with in the floor of his Brooklyn bedroom. “You guys tried really hard to get me out of it. And I’m convinced, now more than ever, it’s all gone exactly the way it was supposed to go.”

Steve nodded, looking away over the horizon. “I’m still sorry about it.”

“Don’t be,” Bucky moved his hand back to his lap, lacing his flesh fingers with his vibranium ones. “You got me out eventually. You stopped me when it counted.”

Steve’s jaw clenched, “Not every time.”

“Enough times.” Bucky was adamant, his voice sharp and brokering no arguments. “You know that if I had—" Bucky couldn’t say it, didn’t want to say it. Howard’s death was already heavy on his conscious, but if he’d managed to kill Peggy, too? He didn’t know how he’d be looking Steve in the eyes right now.

Steve softened, “I know.”

The comfortable silence between them was filled by the sound of a flock of birds taking flight, and he and Steve watched for long moments until the birds were gone and it was quiet again.

Bucky asked a question he’d been waiting years to know the answer to, “Who was that guy in ’86?”

Steve chuckled. “The one that kicked your ass?” Bucky nodded, amused by Steve’s mirth. “That was our son.”

“No shit!” Bucky smiled, clapping Steve on the back. “I guess we have a lot to catch up on.”

Steve nodded, reaching a hand out. “Help an old man up.” Bucky stood and pulled him up, and Steve finally asked what he wanted to know for so long. “What did those words do?”

“You never found out?” Bucky asked, his brow furrowed. He could See Sam and Bruce starting to come closer. He knew their time alone was drawing to an end, at least for now. Steve shook his head, and Bucky licked his lips, looking away. “Random string of words that formed a deactivation code. A failsafe one of my earliest handlers built into whatever they did to my brain. It effectively erased the last mission and sent me back to my handler. Always managed to screw me up so bad they had to scrap whatever they were doing. It was meant to keep them safe if I ever went off on them.”

Steve looked at him, eyes sad. “Did it?”

Bucky looked away, not wanting Steve to see the darkness in him. “I never gave them enough time to say it.” He looked back, shaking his head. “There was always some part of me that knew you, though. That gave you enough time to get it out.”

Steve reached out and hugged his friend, and Bucky let himself melt into the embrace. Steve had saved him, more times than he could count now, and he knew that those memories he thought had to be hallucinations were real.

Six dates, times, and places where Captain America had stopped the Winter Soldier, and six dates, times, and places where Steve Rogers gave Bucky Barnes hope.

~*~

A/N- So, this was conceived as a singular story, but now that I’ve written it I KNOW that if I were a reader I’d want to know about those other 5 dates. I don’t have anything planned for them AT THIS TIME, but I will leave this open to potentially being a series, and I’ll fill in those dates as I come up with compelling ideas.

#Steggy Bingo Bash #Steggy Fic #3P's Fic

[javajunkieao3]

Daisy/Daniel Fanfiction

Amongst the disasters and calamities the team on Zephyr One faced, there were the necessary lulls in between the action when everyday activities took place.  There were meals.   Aircraft maintenance.  (Even a state-of-the-art aircraft like Zephyr One needed the occasional tune-up.)  And then, with varying frequency depending on the team member, there was laundry.  Daisy hated laundry, so she tended to stretch her wardrobe to its absolute limits before she was forced to give in.

On a slow Saturday, between the barn and time storm, Daisy dragged her basket down to the laundry room and filled the washing machine to almost the brink of disuse.  She went back under the healing lamp while she waited for the washing machine to go through its cycles, and then after thirty minutes or so, went back into the laundry room.  She was moving heaps of sopping wet clothes from the washer to the dryer when Daniel came in.

“Sorry, I’m almost finished,” she said, leaning over and grabbing another armful of clothes.  She still was pretty weak, and it was work for her to right herself back up.  Daniel noticed and said, “Do you need help with that?”

“No, I’m fine,” she said, pushing the clothes into the dryer.  “I like the only person touching my underwear to be me.”

Daniel smiled slightly.  “That seems reasonable.”

Finished with taking her clothes out of the washing machine, Daisy stepped away from it and said, “Alright, it’s all yours.”

Daniel went to put his clothes into the washer, but then stopped, pulling a grey t-shirt out of the bottom of the washer.

“You forgot something,” he said, but when he looked closer at the shirt it was clearly intended for a man, and he said, “Actually, never mind.  Maybe someone else left it in there.”

Daisy stared at the shirt in his hand.  Lincoln’s shirt.

“No, that’s mine,” Daisy said quickly and pulled the shirt from his hand with some force.  She held onto it for a beat before putting it in the dryer, swallowing hard as she brought down the lid and started the cycle.  She only grabbed Lincoln’s shirt the day prior when she realized she was clean out of fresh clothes.  It was one of the few mementos she kept after he died.  

Beside her, Daniel put his clothes into the washer in silence.  She knew she had reacted strangely, and while she didn’t exactly owe him an explanation, she found that she wanted to give him one.  

“The shirt belonged to a friend of mine.  He died a few years ago.  And, anyway, he was a good guy.   A really good guy, so that’s why I get sort of protective of it.  Which, I’m now realizing is probably pretty stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Daniel said.  “I know what it’s like to lose someone close to you and how it can make the most normal, run of the mill things mean something.  When I was at the SSR, I had a good friend die on the job.  He always used to drink out of this one mug at the office, and after he died, I actually took it from the kitchen and hid it in one of my desk drawers.  I just couldn’t see anyone else drinking out of it.”

Daisy considered his story and said, “I can see that.  It also sort of sounds like you stole SSR property.”

Daniel laughed in surprise.  “I don’t think I would put it that way.”

“But, thank you,” Daisy said, her voice softening.  “For sharing that with me.”

Daisy hadn’t known Daniel Sousa long, but over the weeks, she learned that this sort of reaction was par the course for Daniel, and for not the first time, she felt herself soften.  While not a new feeling, it was foreign all the same because for years, she had hardened herself.  Against the pain.  Against the world.  Sometimes, even against her own teammates.  And while she had grown and learned that she didn't need to keep herself so guarded, there was still a part of her that always was kept hidden, and then she met Daniel Sousa.  He seemed to open her up without trying, and for her part, she didn’t find herself wanting to close again.  

“I’m sorry about your friend,” Daniel said.

“Thanks.  I’m sorry about yours, too.”

He shrugged, face impassive, and said, “Loss is part of the job, right?”

She hated that he was right.  Three years ago, Lincoln sacrificed himself for her.  Alone with Daniel in the laundry room, Daisy prayed that he would never do something similar, but knew, if the odds were stacked against them, that he would.  Hell, they all would.  But standing close to him with her heart keeping pace with each inhale and exhale beside her, Daisy didn’t want history to repeat itself.  She was struck with a sudden urge to touch him.  To find some purchase in the feeling of skin against skin, because in that moment, she felt like she was drowning.  

“Daisy?”

She didn’t answer, and he said, “Maybe you should lie down again.  Come on, I'll take you back to the healing lamp.”

His hand cupped her elbow and she leaned into his touch as she said, “No, I don’t need the healing lamp."

“Are you sure?  Because-”

She cut him off with her mouth against his and she stayed there, waiting to see what he would do next, when the dryer beeped loudly behind them.  She pulled away, Daniel looking down at her with an unreadable expression.

“I think I forgot to press start,” she said.

And then he stepped around her, pressed start, and slid his arm around her waist to pull her body flush against him.  He slanted his mouth over hers, the kiss gentle at first and then building as she urged him on, her fingers threaded in his hair.  She didn’t want it to end, but then oxygen became necessary for both of them, and she reluctantly pulled away, her breath coming out in short spurts.  

“Okay, now I really think you need the healing lamp,” he murmured.

“You are just as out of breath as me,” Daisy pointed out with a slight grin, bracing her hands on his shoulders.  He reached up and took a hold of one of her hands, pressing it to his chest between them.  It was a simple gesture that somehow felt more intimate than what they had been doing before.  In a way, she liked it better.

“You know, when you guys came and got me in 1955, I never thought...Anyway, I’m just really glad I ended up here.”

She squeezed his hand, her thumb skimming along his knuckles.  "I am, too.”

“Now, will you please go rest now?”

“We have this room to ourselves and you seriously want me to rest?”

“Yes, I do.  Come on, I’ll keep you company.”

He was already walking out of the room, and as Daisy followed him and he looked back, extending his hand, she knew without question that she had started them on the path of something that could only go one of two ways.  She just hoped she was prepared for either.

**

So, no idea if you can actually do laundry on the Zephyr.  But like, they have to do laundry at some point, right?  Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed this total fluff ball.  

#daisy johnson #Daniel sousa #daisy x daniel #daisy x sousa #timequake #daisysous #dousy #sousy #agents of shield #aos #daisysous fanfiction

[twstgameplay]

Hi Zuzu, Jeido, and Furoido! Long-time reader, first-time asker. I’m a pretty serious EN player, and I’m currently at 16k on the cosmic exam and really want to make it to SS, and would love your two cents. 

My team lineup is >

Dorm Leona with 10/10 magic

Dorm Vil 5/10

Dorm Rook 10/10

Bean Floyd 5/10

Dorm Epel 5/9 (trying to scrounge up the books to hit lvl 10 m2) 

All the buddy supports are maxed (Except for Dorm Vil’s Rook hp buff, which is at like 8 or something but probably not really relevant)

I always aim to activate the 5 duos and finish on the 2nd strike of turn 4 with either Leona or Buffed Rook. I kind of have an issue where if I use Leona’s M1 I’ll beat the enemy team too early on the first hit of turn 4, but if I don’t use it they’ll still have a couple thousand hp remaining before the final duo hit.

I’ve also tried swapping Floyd out for robe/lab Lilia to squeeze the max damage I can out of Rook, but in addition to losing the duo I lose damage and the enemy usually has 4-6k health left on the last hit. 

My current plan of action is to max out dorm Epel so I can push the enemy closer to 0 hp while using the Lilia team comp, so I can get the best possible overkill with Rook, but I’m worried even that won’t be enough. Do I just need to wait till I can uncap Rook or Leona further?  My other SSRs are attached, but the only others with maxed duos are Azul and Birthday Kate.

Thanks so much for your help!

―――

Wow, you’re so close to SS! I will say that hitting that 17k is still pretty hard, though. There are some longtime JP players who have only recently crossed the SS threshold. I think it took me about 8 months from the start of the JP game, and of course, our card release schedule was completely different.

I think the team you have is pretty good right now, just as you’ve surmised, I’d work on limit breaking some of the cards on your team. If you get Riddle one day, you may be able to try the Riddle-Azul combo instead of Rook-Epel, just to keep your team from killing too early. (One day we’ll finally get healers to show up, and that’ll help from killing too early too)

Here’s a couple things you can try to keep in mind as you battle the exams, although for the most part, it’ll be up to RNG.

You might want to time your Leona M1 to go up against Vil’s Damage Reduction effect (or who ever is in the next cosmic exam). It’s not too strong, but it might be just enough to keep you alive to overkill on the second attack of turn 4. (Of course, since it’s random when he casts is, it’s more like, pit Leona against Vil and pray)

It is possible to get a good score when you end on Turn 3. You just need to be able to activate all five DUOs in three turns instead of 4 and overkill with Leona/Rook. With your team, it means you’ll have to forfeit Rook’s buff, but that almost may be what’s killing you too fast anyway.

And eventually, when Birthday Lilia comes out on January 1st, you’ll be able to add him to your team to make an extremely strong team for Cosmic!

~ 🐬

#twisted wonderland #twst #mod jeido #twst en info

[gavemesomuchtoremember]

Heartbroken

Thanks for saying this @raimi​ I really appreciate it, and @fandomsandxfiles-writes​ for also encouraging me to post a while back too. 

Hey Everyone, so I finally have built up the courage to share the first Agent Carter fic I wrote. I wrote it back in May. 

Dottie Underwood x Reader

Jack Thompson x Reader

It’s a Jack Thompson x Reader situation though y/n’s conversation is mainly with Dottie about it. 

Summary: During a mission a drunk y/n has to distract Dottie, leading to sharing some secrets that she didn’t want to.

Another, Sameul y/n called out to the bartender, you knew it wasn’t very ladylike to be this drunk but you didn’t care; and you finally had a day off. You felt a tapping on your shoulder as you turned to see a worried Peggy Carter, a look you hadn’t often seen on the agent. “Peggy, what brings you here?” You questioned.

“I heard from Rose that you’ve been here all day” you watched her as she observed you. She noticed you had been slightly falling off the edge of the chair. “So I thought I’d come talk to you”.

“I’m fine Peg!” you exclaimed loudly, causing a table of men to turn and look in disappointment. Samuel placed the beer down in front of you, “Aah, my dear Sam, what took ya so long” you said taking a giant gulp of the drink.

“If I had put my money on it, I’d say this reaction is due to Jack”. You smirked hoping it would hide the fact she’d guessed correctly,”What makes you say that?”

“It’s the way he looks at you. I’ve also seen you avoid him”

“It’s a long story, are you going to the warehouse?” not wanting to continue the conversation as you sipped on your drink. “Yeah, we are. We need to catch Dottie.”

“She really is a pain in our backs, though I respect the diligence it takes to work that hard and love your job”.

“I really wish you weren’t drunk right now” She said quietly to herself but you heard the concern in her voice. “You need me don’t you. What’s going on, what do I need to do?”

“No, you stay, it’s your day off” “But, what’s the plan?” “We’re going to set up an electromagnetic field around the building to block her from leaving the premises. Four downstairs, four upstairs”. You stared at her for a second to process the information, “Won’t she see that?”

“I will be distracting Dottie while Rose, Dr Samberly, Mr Jarvis, Jack and Daniel set up everything” “Then what?”

“Dr Samberly will set it off”

You placed the glass down on the counter and fully gave her your attention, “don’t you or Sous need to be with him to help with that kind of power? I trust the guy but Aloysius crumbles under pressure”

“We don’t have a choice, they need to go set it up” “Exactly, so I’ll come. You need the help” “y/n, no you’re too drunk” “And you’re too outnumbered for a large space and a time limit, I can distract Dottie, everyone else can set up. You’ll have an extra hand downstairs and someone can be with Aloysius”.

“I said no, you’re drunk”. She gave you a look but gave in. Right outside the warehouse Peggy and you got to the meeting spot.

“You’re drunk!” Daniel called out to you when the two of you approached him. “I’m fine, let’s just focus on the task at hand” you said and waltz up to Jarvis and Rose to grab an earpiece.

Sousa turned his attention to Peggy, “you brought her here even though she’s drunk?”

“She insisted on coming along. Besides, I couldn’t stop her. She’s one of the few people we need right now. She can handle herself drunk, I’ve seen it”

You entered into the warehouse, making a mental note of the area, Jarvis split left and Peggy, with Rose went right on the bottom level. You continued to walk forward into the warehouse as Aloysius, Jack, and Sous went up the stairs to the second level.

Rose and Peggy reached their targets and started setting up the electromagnetic field they needed to cover the building. Jarvis reached his corner and had done the same. Jack and Daniel split up to cover all of the bases upstairs. Finally Aloysius had positioned himself above a steel box with an electromagnetic cannon ray thing Peggy was explaining on the way over. “I might have been a little too drunk to pay attention to the briefing” You thought to yourself.

You entered a smaller room located comically in the centre of the building. Your job was the most important, inside the box, the walls were a mint green and there was a little picnic bench type seating area. Dottie was sitting there with a book.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Brooklyn” “Dottie, always a pleasure”

You heard Peggy’s voice come in through your earpiece, “keep her distracted, were almost set up”. You made your way closer to the black widow, “What brings you here?”

“Wow agent, wasted on the job? That’s a new low, even for you. Boy troubles?” You ignored her comments, your eyes trailing her as she walked around the bench.

“You know what Dottie, I’ll do the talking here” “How about let’s play a game of truth?”

You paused a second and even thought about it. You really only had to distract Dottie, if she was doing all the work for you, why not. “Sure Dottie, what do you wanna know, my life is an open book”

“Have you ever been in love?” Dottie’s smile got bigger when she asked, it was a red flag but you were a little too numb to care, “I suppose I have”.

“When did you meet him?” She patted the bench as she sat back down, but you didn’t move a muscle, “We were six, We met outside a chapel, he popped my soccer ball and I hitchhiked in his daddy’s truck from Michigan all the way to New York”. 

“You run away from home”

“I’m an orphan, thought I could start a better life in New York”

“Did he break your heart?”

That’s when it clicked, she knew exactly what she was talking about, she wanted specific answers out of you. “Hold your horses there missy. You’ve asked a bunch of questions, my turn”

Jarvis’ voice came though on the earpiece, “I’m all set down here”, and Sousa’s voice followed, “copy that, Jarvis, can you go see if the south tower is set, while Peggy and Rose finish up the others”, “Of course chief”. You focused on the task at hand, “What was it really like growing up in Russia?”

“Oh y/n, it was wonderful, as I’ve told Peggy I was jealous of women like her who could do whatever they pleased, but living here for as long as I have, there’s no respect for women. In Russia it was such a wonderful learning experience”.  

“Being tied to a bed is your idea of wonderful?” “It was by choice”

In that moment you almost pitied her, she’d never known a life outside of that prison camp. “But here, even though some men don’t like it, we do have freedom”

“Women in your country are oppressed!”

“Not for long, I envision an America where women are in all positions of power”

“So tell me y/n, how did you end up in this line of work? You see I was born for this? In jail I heard a little rumour that a broken heart pushed you here”

And there it was, Dottie liked to pray on weakness, maybe it was because of her cold heart, but it was clear that the truth game was some sort of sick power move, “I don’t have to answer that”

“But you will, because you and I both know that this is an attempt to distract me. You won’t stop making mindless conversation with me until my dear friend Peggy tells you to”

You finally moved towards the bench, “well, if we both know this is a charade then I guess we don’t need to keep that up”

“I don’t do well when I’m bored. You can’t fight me because the SSR needs me alive and unless you tell me your story, I will walk out of here, ruining whatever it is that poor Peggy is up to”

You thought to yourself for a second, when Peggy’s voice rang in your ears followed by Daniel’s, “were almost done” “Us too y/n just hold off a little longer.

“I’m bored” Dottie said in a sing songy voice, “You seriously think I’m that drunk? That I’ll just spill all my secrets?”

She smirked, as she walked towards you, closing the gap

“You’ll never get away, not this time Dot” “y/n/n” “My name is y/n” “right, only Jack Thompson can call you y/n/n”

“That’s enough Dottie” You put your arm out to stop her from moving past you, but she just swatted it away and smiled again. You thought to yourself how could her smile possibly get any bigger. “Alright, you won’t tell me your story then I guess I’m leaving. Bye.”

You watched as she started to leave. There was no way you were going to tell her the story but she was leaving. Jack’s face appeared as you closed your eyes. You moved your hair behind your ear, revealing the earring mic. You couldn’t think straight, and she was right, you needed to wait for Peg’s order, so you couldn’t just let her leave.

“I set dinner for him”

Dottie stopped, immediately pulling a 180. Peggy and Rose shared a look, knowing this was not going to end well and Jack stopped dead in his tracks mentally kicking himself.

“I was young, in love, and, well stupid... I wanted to marry him” You started slowly, knowing they were almost done. “Rose and I are set, moving onto the next one” Peggy stated, “Same” Jarvis’ voice followed, finally Sousa spoke, “Jack, Samberly and I are working on it”

Dottie gave you a look and tapped her foot getting impatient, “He was drafted and I’d never been more proud of him. So I made this dinner, so we could celebrate. It was something he wanted to do. Fight for our freedom” Dottie smiled and sat down at the bench, once again trying to get you to sit with her. This time you did, “Go on” she cooed. “Keep stalling” Daniel’s voice rang in your ear. “His car was supposed to leave in 3 days, but he decided to get on the one that was leaving that night. I often think about why he stood outside my door, refusing to come in. All he had to say for himself was that he was leaving. I thought he was joking. But he was serious. And he left.”

“Then?”

You paused and stared at her. There was radio silence on the other end. You knew they were still working. You really didn’t want to talk about this.

“y/n, I’m waiting”

“Let’s talk about something else, maybe, say the great depression?” You tried to change the subject, “not a chance in hell. I won’t ask again”. You knew that wouldn’t work. Finally Peggy’s voice came through again, “We need more time”. You took in a breath to calm your nerves, sobering up having to talk about this while everyone could hear you, “I ran out after him, I begged him to at least talk to me, tell me why”

Rose and Peggy exchange a glance of utter shock as they’d never heard this story, not even on a girls night. Jarvis ran up to them to help finish the last magnetic tower.

“You know what I got as a response? His back walking down the street”

Daniel and Aloysius gave Jack a look, not surprised but disappointed.

You looked at Dottie, knowing that you’d have to continue, “On top of that, I was labeled as the broken one. The one who was left by-“

“People threw garbage at me, treated me like some sort of witch. One day I went for a walk and there were three guys that tried to abduct me. I beat them up and a Colonel saw it, Murdoch saw it, took me in and I ended up in Russia fighting more Russian assassins like yourself. It’s how I ended up in the war, it’s how I met Howard, it’s how I ended up in the SSR.”

Jarvis didn’t want to hear anymore of it so he removed his earpiece, “I can’t listen to this anymore” I heard Daniel say, “were almost done” for what felt like the millionth time.

“So to answer your question Dottie, yes. I did end up here because of a broken heart. It wasn’t the lifestyle I had always imagined, but I’m glad I’m not some blond asshole chief’s wife”

Aloysius had managed to get everything going, “give us 5 seconds” is all I heard.

“You know what Dottie, sometimes I feel like you like being locked up”

“Now”

You pulled out your gun and aimed at her, “Dottie Underwood, you are under arrest” She didn’t seem phased at all, simply replying, “wonderful”.

Dottie kicked the gun out of your hand and tried to escape, Luckily you saw it coming but your reaction times were a little delayed. She managed to free herself and kicked you in the face twice, but you weren’t having that, tackling her to the ground, in doing so activating bars that surrounded you. Inside a jail cell of electromagnets, “Well that was new” she said to herself. 

“Looks like we’re both stuck in this prison”, you placed those handcuffs on her and she laughed in your face, “at least the prison I’m going to, it’ll be easy to escape”

Daniel and Peggy grabbed her by the arms and pulled her away.

Once again Dottie Underwood was caught, but she was right. Jack was y/n’s prison and he broke your heart, but you still loved him.

THE END

#Agent carter #Dottie Underwood x reader #Jack Thompson x reader #Jack Thompson #Dottie Underwood #Peggy Carter

[wedreamedlove]

(Price of) Freedom [Bai Qi Character Study]

JP finished their run of Bai Qi's Mystery Wings event and after reading everything I haven't been the same— LOL much like how I was after his Spring Festival Date, so now I'm subjecting you all to a rambly think piece.

Disclaimer: I use CN and JP quotes, so they'll differ from the ENG version. Spoilers up to Chapter 19 + unreleased ENG cards.

FREEDOM, WHAT IS IT?

I don't think it's a secret now that Bai Qi had a harsh childhood. But, for the sake of my think piece and to refresh everyone's memories, I'll go through it again.

[Rumors and Secrets: Little Guardian] His dad rarely came home, especially after it was confirmed that Bai Qi didn't have any Evol powers. Heck, Bai Qi even heard his parents arguing through a door and saw instances of his mom crying because of his dad.

[Seize SSR: Sad Thoughts Call] Bai Qi reveals that his dad was extremely strict on him and his mom would cry silently in the back for him. The one time his dad smiled Bai Qi felt chills down his spine for the rest of the day.

[Campus Date] Bai Qi thinks about how his dad, and others, would probably be happy to see him die and so, out of sheer spite, he rejects that and decides to live for himself (and MC because she woke his Evol) and not for the recognition of others or the world.

[Main Story 12-18] Bai Qi's mom died in a fire, which is why he's traumatized, and this was another point for his dad to hammer in his uselessness. But Bai Qi re-affirms here that his existence itself is not a point of shame.

[Main Story 15-24] In order to protect MC, Bai Qi makes a deal with the devil (aka. his dad) and his dad says that undergoing the NW Plan has always been Bai Qi's fate, along with his younger brother. In [Rumors and Secrets: Little Guardian] Bai Qi's mother tries to justify to Bai Qi that his dad bears the burden of protecting the country, but you don't sacrifice your family like that and make weapons out of them... lol.

Okay, knowing Bai Qi's past now, I'm going to bring up my header question. Freedom, what is it and how does it relate to Bai Qi? In this case, I think a lot of what Bai Qi is trying to escape is the confinement of his father. "His joining of the special forces symbolizes the difference of his justice compared to his father" [CN Profile].

It's not a coincidence that Bai Qi gets these symbols:

WIND: Classic symbol of something that is utterly free and cannot be controlled. Bai Qi literally controls the wind.

SKY: He's always flying around in the sky. He's not using his power on the ground. He also has a lot of scenes where he's looking up at the sky and contemplating freedom.

WOLF: Putting aside the propaganda about them being monsters that hunt livestock, they're seen as symbols of freedom, instinct, and the wild world. Bai Qi is often described as a wolf [CN Profile + Main Story 19-6].

To further support this, there were two distinct Mystery Wings event entries that referred to the sky too, one with yearning and the other with melancholy:

AMBER

The amber was illuminated by the sun and the sight of its transparent waves concealed a gentleness in their coolness.

She suddenly thought this amber was exactly like those eyes.

It was something that happened in late autumn.

She was walking in the hallway in front of the upper grades’ classes when her eyes unconsciously stopped on a certain classroom.

Shabby curtains blew in the breeze and, amongst them, there was a young man standing by the window and staring at the sky.

His features weren’t sharp, but a glimpse of an indifference and air which prevented people from getting close to him could be seen.

Light and shadow shone in both eyes. Those pure and clear eyes reflected the sunlight and it was as if they were luring travelers to that deep sea at the last stop of oblivion.

Those eyes glimmered far more than this amber.

BAI QI'S PIERCING

The face of the young man in the mirror was indifferent and there was a bruise beside his mouth. His hair, damp from the rain, stuck to his forehead. A dark shadow fell over those amber-like eyes.

He didn't find it painful the first time he put on earrings.

Instead, he felt exhilarated like whenever he raised his fists.

Bai Qi wiped at the blood around the edge of his piercing with his hand. The blood mixed with the crimson color on the back of his hand until a distinction couldn’t be made.

Rain, which fell increasingly harder, pounded at the window as if it were giving praise to a meaningless hero.

He quietly leaned against a wall and looked up at the dark sky.

Just how long would this rain continue for?

I posit that that Bai Qi and freedom are intrinsically linked. It's something he needs and is the bedrock of his character, much like his unwavering sense of justice. Does he get it? Yes! Like I mentioned above, he joined the special forces to separate from his dad.

But also, and what's most important, is that he finds freedom in making MC his home, his flag, and his convictions. If you don't have a place to call home then you're not roaming the world in freedom, you're just lost in the world.

I also like how this can be linked back to his wolf symbolism, because wolves are pack animals. Yes, the lone wolf imagery is romantic but lone wolves travel to find a place to belong because they tend to die when they're alone. "The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack."

In addition to being symbols of freedom, they're also charismatic symbols and social symbols. I feel like this also gets reflected by how inspiring Bai Qi is just from having an unwavering sense of justice. Han Ye and Gu Zheng's presence, and their respect for Bai Qi, reflect his charisma.

Admittedly, it's ironic that I love Bai Qi so much when one of my favorite poems, "For women who are 'difficult' to love" by Warsan Shire, has a line that goes "You can't make homes out of human beings". I'd understand if people who strongly agree with this sentiment don't find Bai Qi an interesting character, and that's a-okay!

But, and I can't stress this enough, we shouldn't deprive or devalue others of their life's choices if it's not actively harming others.

FREEDOM IS HER

For Bai Qi, MC represents his freedom because, without her, he wouldn't have a home to come back to and he'd be lost out in the world. Important things need to be reiterated.

[Endless Abyss SSR Beside You Call] Bai Qi returned from a mission but, instead of sleeping, the first thing he wants to do is go and pick up MC to send her to work.

[Brilliant Date] Bai Qi returns from a mission and, again, goes to see her immediately without returning home first because he made a promise.

[Loneliness SR Wind and Care Call] Bai Qi literally says "Because I have a place for my heart, I can fly anywhere."

Meanwhile, in one of the Mystery Wings event entries:

BAI QI'S BRACELET

Before Bai Qi went on a mission, he entrusted his own bracelet to her. She gripped his bracelet and prayed for his safety with a smile.

He looked at her and repeated the same words once, and then once more.

“Don’t worry. I’ll come back right away.”

Finishing his mission, he noticed he received calls and messages on his phone.

The city at dawn was still somewhat lonely.

He went to reply to the messages but, unlike before, he couldn’t find the words to say.

A night wind blew. Urged by that wind, he came to the window of her room as if possessed by something.

Illuminated by the faint moonlight, he could clearly see something shining in the corner of her eyes. Her brows were furrowed like she was having a nightmare.

His bracelet was firmly gripped in her hand.

Bai Qi recalled that fragile call history and messages and went to stand beside her. Then he gently wiped away the tears at her eyes with his hand.

“I’m sorry… I’m back.”

Look, I can't make it clearer that he goes to her because she's metaphorically his home. I'm also not going to repeat it here but if you look at my post about Bai Qi being in love, you'll see how much he focuses on MC in general because his being is attuned to her.

In a sense, Bai Qi is an extension of MC and it also supports how their sense of justice mirrors each other. Upholding good is engraved in their characters.

P-please, don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean he has no personality and has just built everything around her. He has hobbies on his own like basketball, tinkering with gadgets, growing succulents, treating injured animals, riding his motorbike, and astronomy.

Okay, the rest of this section is just going to be me gushing about the Mystery Wings event and the [Brilliant Date] that accompanies it because there was so much going on. First, let's tackle the date:

Ribbing about Bai Qi's naming sense and the play on words was lost in ENG. In CN the dove is called "Little White" which can be read "Little Bai", as in a small Bai Qi, because his name in CN has the character for white. This makes "Pearly" a literal symbol for Bai Qi, and they set the dove completely free at the end.

There's an exchange in this date where ENG goes "Does it mean I get your place?" and "I get your place. Now I give one back to you" but an interesting and cute thing here is that, in CN, the word he's using isn't as simple as just "giving". Bai Qi is specifically using a military word here that means "to occupy, intrude, or seize". He's such a nerd and it reflects his background LOL.

More on the above, because this uncommon verb is so interesting. It carries an aggressive connotation because it's implying military intrusion. The other person gives up all rights to their territory when you're occupying it. But Bai Qi gives the same rights to her for his room.

Freedom discussion and metaphors everywhere in this date, but when MC was talking about how all she needs is the wind and the sun (her monologue reveals that Bai Qi provides the wind and his presence beside her is her light) to feel freedom, Bai Qi never removes his eyes from her. He doesn't express his agreement or disagreement about what he thinks freedom is... he shows it with his actions of focusing his complete attention on her. She's his freedom!

Leaving the date now, I want to point out [Light Bath SSR: Tenderness Call] and how Bai Qi thinks he only shows his gentleness towards select people, for example his mother and MC. This is another mark of how he doesn't let anyone get close to him except for MC because he is her extension.

On that note, there is a reason I keep saying Bai Qi is MC's extension, but not that MC is his extension as well and that it's a two-way link. The reason I say this is, because, Bai Qi continues to need that freedom (MC) and yearns for that freedom (MC).

Below are four entries from the Mystery Wings event that showcase this longing for MC that Bai Qi experienced through high school, when his want for freedom was at its highest:

THE SECOND BUTTON

Life in high school came with romantic but illogical rumors. For example, things like if you confessed on the 7th step of the stairway in the corner of the 3rd floor then it’ll succeed, or if you carved your name and another person’s name on the 6th tree in the courtyard at the back then your misunderstandings will be resolved, of if a guy gave the girl he liked the second button of his uniform on graduation day then the two of them will end up happy together.

Generally, the guys acted as if they didn’t believe in these rumors, but they secretly held expectations inside their hearts.

But Bai Qi marked these all off as being stupid.

One day at lunch, a conversation between girls entered his ears.

“The rumors about the second button are romantic, aren’t they? Whoever gets one is sure to be happy~!”

There was a familiar voice mixed in amongst them. He glanced over abruptly and her face, full of yearning, leapt into his eyes.

“… Graduation, huh.”

He raised his head in thought. He suddenly couldn’t wait for graduation.

However, he didn’t give her the second button he tore off.

That button, together with a brisk air, was stored carefully inside a case.

PINK BANDAID

Bai Qi sat in the corner of the classroom. His lacked the spirit it had shown when he had been in the library.

He mussed his hair like he was at a complete loss and recalled how he had met her at the entrance of the library just now. Her startled and anxious expression floated into his mind.

“… Did I scare her again?”

After a while, Minor came bursting in.

"Bai Qi, Bai Qi!!!”

He waved the pink bandaid he was holding as if he was excited.

“This… Put this on!”

Bai Qi didn’t respond at all.

“She gave it!!”

Bai Qi startled when he heard those words and stared at the bandaid Minor was holding in a daze. The wound at his mouth stung. His fingers also prickled a little.

He carefully took that bandaid, treating it as if it was his world’s most precious treasure…

Later on, this pink bandaid was always taped on his heart and, every time he stepped into the swamp-like darkness of the night, it gave off a faint warmth.

GINGKO CHARM

After he learned about her identity, he went out personally to buy protection for her.

He desperately thought of a way to protect her.

Suddenly, when he saw a ginkgo leaf fall in front of him, a certain memory came back to his mind. The memory of that time when the wind blew and he was guided by the melody she played…

It was possible that, from that time on, they were bound tightly by a thread neither of them could see.

He decided to make her a ginkgo bracelet and made an effort to produce it day after day.

The small gold gingko leave brought trouble to him. The first three he made were all scratched and were a loss. On the fourth, he was finally able to make a perfect bracelet.

The sun had long hidden itself and the moon had appeared. Looking at the bracelet which shone faintly underneath the moonlight, he gave a satisfied smile.

He was sure she would like it.

PAST SCHOOL NEWSPAPER

There weren’t a lot of people who would seriously read something like the school newspaper. Notes were written on the underside of the paper’s surface, which wrote exaggeratedly about the awards of clubs and events within the school, and its fate was to be tossed into the garbage after being scribbled on all over.

Bai Qi also didn’t have much interest in the school newspaper.

On the rooftop, Minor bit into his bread and muttered as he stared at the school newspaper he happened to receive earlier.

“Honors student, huh… Bai Qi, you know, I also have good morals, I’m fit, my personality’s good, and my grades aren’t that bad. Maybe I can be the second honors student…”

Bai Qi didn’t respond and glanced over at the picture on the paper.

There, she was bashfully receiving an award on a stage with a happy smile.

“Honors student”… He digested those words in his heart and then stood up and headed towards the door.

“Bai Qi! Bai Qi! Are you going to a fight!? Please take me with you!”

“Class.”

“… Huh?”

I placed this newspaper one last because it also appeared last in the JP event and KOed me, but also reminded me of his [Love of My Life SSR] and how the CN version does not use plain "love" in the card's quote, and I go into more detail about this in my Bai Qi in Love post.

But, basically, the CN version uses a word that means "attachment or longing". It's a subtle difference because, yes, she is the love of his life but also his longing, desire, and aspiration. She keeps him in this world and is something he feels like he needs to strive towards.

I'm just going to bring up his 2019 birthday card, which ENG will be releasing this year, because there's this line that goes:

[CN Tide of Light SSR Chasing Dreams Date] "That year, I did want to give you that letter personally. But I gave myself a way out and left it up to luck. I knew that, at the time, I was still lacking a lot and so I decided that I had to meet you again with my best self."

THE PRICE OF FREEDOM

So, putting aside how one price is Bai Qi feeling like he needs to better himself, the other is that Papergames refuses to give us an easy happiness with this game and, as I mentioned in my Chinese archetype post, Bai Qi is a shoo-in for the Tragic Hero character.

The price exacted for trying to have this freedom is precisely that of his freedom. Unlike the other characters, he has a simple throughline because he literally doesn't care for anything but MC and his justice. Put in other words, he doesn't have anything to lose except MC and his sense of self.

And this is exactly what we see happen in the story:

[Chapter 12] was about losing MC and realizing that, despite all his intentions, perhaps HE is the one who will harm her and cannot protect her.

[Chapter 15] was about losing his sense of self, with another dose of fear of losing MC. Everything he thought he stood up for was a lie.

I might have mentioned elsewhere that it's tragic how he's constantly thrown into situations that try to break his principles. But, now that I'm thinking on this more, I think... he's actually giving up his principles of justice for the MC. Even more tragic is that he's also metaphorically letting his wings get clipped and losing his freedom to preserve MC's safety.

UGH, it's why his character is so tragic and why the end of [Main Story 15-24] was like an enormous blade being dropped on me when there was that descriptive line about how MC had never realized that the sight of someone being unable to stand upright could be so sorrowful.

Maybe I should have said that the price of preserving Bai Qi's home (MC) is his freedom and sense of justice being eroded.

Anyway, oops, I started this off to celebrate how amazingly gorgeous this event and date was and how much it developed Bai Qi's character. But then I just had to tie it back into all the angst LOL.

#mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mlqc gavin #mlqc bai qi #love and producer #love and produc(ing) meta