#i really struggled picking a name for this but ig that's it now lol

[grims-sunshine]

hello! How are you? I see your requests are open? If it's alright, can i request some angst, but with a happy ending because I'm too damn soft🥲 Fem Tav being absolutely devastated when Astarion confessed but also that he was originally manipulating and using her? I never see anyone writing Tav being upset over that, like she's in love with him, but is rightfully angry and upset with him and just sobs while avoiding him for a while? 🥲

Hi hi anon! I'm good, thanks for asking <3 I hope you're alright too!

I love this idea so much aaaaah! I had to start writing pretty much immediately ahaha

Thanks so much for the request, I hope you enjoy it <3

🤍 Feel Better 🤍

Pairing: Astarion x Tav

Word count: 1.7k

Tags: angst with a happy ending, some mild anxiety, arguing, Tav says a few not so nice things maybe

"I care about you."

It's true when you say these words to Astarion. At least you think it's true. At least it was true just five minutes ago.

You're pretty sure it's still true.

You pull Astarion into a hug, and aren't sure if you do it because you want to hug him, or because it feels like the right thing to do.

He hesitates for a moment, but puts his arms around you as well. You're overcome with a wave of happiness that he hugged you back, then sadness that he just admitted to having manipulated you, then anger that you were dumb enough to fall for it.

When he holds your hand, you see a glint of sincerity in his eyes. But you're not sure you can trust your own judgment anymore. Part of you wonders if he actually means it this time.

You know it wouldn't make sense for him to lie again, right after confessing his last lie and admitting that he felt bad for it.

But it didn't make sense for him to lie the first time either.

You've been defending Gale when the others were mad about his secret, and he wasn't sleeping with you. You tried to stand up for Wyll when Mizora showed up, and he hadn't shown even a hint of interest in you. You sided with Karlach and helped her deal with the paladins when you didn't even know her yet.

In short, you've been doing your damnedest to protect the people around you, not because you wanted anything in return, but because you're all in an unfortunate situation, just trying to stay alive, and you believe it'll be better for all of you to help each other. You would've done the same for Astarion, without him ever doing so much as touch you.

Your thoughts cause unease to rise within you, getting worse with every second. Once he lets go of you, you excuse yourself, rushing off to a quiet place, out of view from the others.

You sink to the ground, leaning your head back against the wall as your vision goes blurry. Before you even notice it, tears stream down your face and you suppress a sob.

You feel betrayed. Astarion played with your feelings just to gain a benefit from you, with seemingly no care how it would make you feel. You should've gotten angry at him, told him off for manipulating you, screamed at him for hurting your feelings.

Instead, you gave him a hug and said you care about him.

Underneath the anger and hurt, your feelings for him are still there, maybe stronger than ever. If you could just move past this, maybe the two of you can be happy together after all.

It makes you feel like a child, thinking that you're in some kind of fairy tale romance. But you're not the protagonist of a storybook, and you're starting to have serious doubts that Astarion is the prince who will sweep you off your feet and bring you eternal happiness.

And yet, that small part of you makes you decide to stay with him for now and hope everything will work out for the better. You're not sure if you're naive, stupid, or if Astarion really is worth trying, but you trust your gut feeling, even when your brain is telling you to break things off immediately.

Still, you can't help feeling hurt over everything that happened, so over the next couple of days you pull away from Astarion. It's not your intention, but whenever you're close to him, you start to feel dizzy, sick even. You feel your chest tighten and a knot form in your stomach that gets worse the longer you're around him.

You used to not get enough of being close to you, now it feels like your whole body recoils against his presence.

Astarion doesn't seem to notice that anything has changed -- Or if he does, he doesn't show it. If anything, he's become even more affectionate with you.

He's been seeking out your touch more often, giving you occasional hugs and stealing kisses from you. They make your heart beat faster, but you can't tell anymore if it's because you love him or because it sends your brain into overdrive each time, wondering if he's doing it because he wants to be close to you or because he wants to keep you hooked so you won't turn away from him now.

You hate that you have to question him. You hate that you feel like you can no longer trust him when you blindly would've put your life in his hands just a few days ago.

To make things worse, life has decided to hurl even more struggles at you while you're dealing with your feelings.

The Shadow-Cursed Lands have been getting especially cold at night. You try to stay as close to the fireplace as possible, but it feels like the darkness sucks away any warmth provided by the fire, so you're left shivering and wishing you could lie in a warm bed with several blankets instead.

"Wanna cuddle a little for warmth?" Astarion's voice catches you off guard and you almost flinch when you notice him standing beside you, watching you shiver and grasping your arms.

"Not that I have much body heat to give off, but, you know… I could be there for you in spirit." He continues, giving you a smile that looks almost a little shy.

You're hesitant at first, but something about the way he looks at you plugs at your heartstrings. You can't resist him, not when he looks like he's sending silent prayers to the gods that you'll agree.

"Yeah, sure. At the very least you'll block off a bit of the cold, right?" You say, earning a chuckle from him.

"I'll do my very best to shield you from the cold, darling."

He settles down facing you, wrapping one arm around you to pull you closer to his chest.

You try your best to relax, but your body still tenses around him, even when you try to just swallow down your feelings.

You lie in silence for a while, until Astarion sighs.

"Is everything alright, dear? You've been acting a little off lately. I wasn't sure if I should mention it at all, but to be honest, I am a little worried." His tone is serious, void of the usual playfulness in his voice.

Damn it. He noticed.

"It's nothing, really," you say, hoping that he'll drop it. Instead, he just looks at you, sceptical.

"Are you sure? You can talk to me, you know." He frowns brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "It's just," he hesitates, like he's unsure of what to say, "I feel like you've started avoiding me ever since I opened up about my feelings. So, I've been thinking, maybe I misread the signs and you actually never wanted to move past… Whatever the hells it was we had before," he rambles. Then, a little quieter, he adds, "You know, I've never done this whole relationship thing, and I really don't want to make a fool of myself by pursuing someone who doesn't like me that way." He lets out a nervous chuckle.

Oh hells no.

"Make a fool out of you?" The words break out of you, louder and angrier than intended. "What about me, who made a fool out of herself the whole time thinking you actually liked me?" You should stay composed, calm yourself before you say something you regret, but at that moment, all the complicated feelings you've been having swirl together and explode within you. "You didn't stop once to think about that, did you? But when it's about you having to deal with something unpleasant, suddenly it's a problem. Don't you think that's a little selfish of you?"

By the way Astarion looks at you, you'd think he'd just been slapped. Then he averts his eyes and you feel his hands tightening, gripping the back of your shirt.

"Right," he sighs. "I deserve to be called selfish, I suppose."

Astarion takes a deep breath, his jaw clenching as he thinks about what to say next, before he relaxes it again. "I know what I did to you was wrong. I manipulated you and you didn't deserve that. At all." His voice quivers a little as he continues to speak. "And I know it's no excuse, but this is what I've done for two centuries. Manipulate people to avoid getting hurt. I have no damn idea how to navigate a relationship with someone who isn't trying to make me suffer at every turn, or someone who I know will meet a terrible end because of me."

He looks at you again with a pained expression. "I really do care about you, despite what I've done, you know? I didn't intend to care about you, but you crushed all my intentions just by being your wonderful, amazing self. And if you're willing to give me another chance, I promise to make this right. I promise I won't ever try to deceive you again. I want to be someone worthy of your love and I'll do what I can to be that kind of person."

This time you're absolutely certain that he's sincere. There's not a sliver of doubt in your mind about that.

You don't even realize that you haven't said anything in a while until you notice Astarion grow increasingly nervous, looking at you like he expects you to cuss him out and tell him to leave any second.

You grab his hand and press a kiss to his palm. "I am willing to give you a chance," you say, seeing the instant wave of relief rush over his face. "I know you're new to all of this, and I know you've been through a lot. I should've talked about this sooner instead of just avoiding you. And I shouldn't have yelled earlier either. So I'm sorry as well."

Astarion presses his forehead against yours, pulling you into a close hug. "So things are good between us now, right?"

You nod, leaning in to kiss his cheek before nuzzling into his chest. "Yeah, everything's alright."

Title inspired by this

#astarion #bg3 astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate astarion #astarion x mc #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #i really struggled picking a name for this but ig that's it now lol #some day I'll pay someone to name my fics for me /hj #side quests

[chaotictomtom]

thanks @egirlgarak for tagging me!!

tagging anyone who wants to do this hehe im too shy to tag ppl smh

Were you named after anyone?

only one of my middle deadnames lol, my grandma italian's name she had to change when getting to France. adam came from seeing cool ppl with that name + movie with hugh dancy getting me to finally pick it. i mean i DID a strawpoll on twitter back then to help me choose lol. so not really after anyone ig technically. thomas was given to me by people calling me this name umprompted even before i came out to myself so like. alright will keep it I GUESS random people in my life chose it for me

When was the last time you cried?

ppl say T will make you unable cry and....prob depends on the person. i still do cry seeing videos of cute dogs getting groomed and seeing general good in life and people 👍 so i think it was 2 days ago watching daily dose of internet last vid cos a bit about a kid trying to make friends made me tear up lol. humanity.....<333333 cries like a baby instantly

Do you have kids?

if da bébé (cat) counts yes. but no.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

i don't think! a lot! but i guess i do use it sometimes. more irl tho i just realised i never really use it online in case it doesn't read as sarcasm. mibbe when i rant in the tags on my own posts tho lol

What sports do you play/have you played?

played a bunch of different sports during my school years but it's been years of not doing anything and it's a struggle between thinking how my knee can suddenly fuck up and needing exercise to be healthy </3

What's the first thing you notice about someone?

i honestly don't know............. ig i try are they. like not a cunt and a bigot. can i exist without them thinking im out of line by just. being me fdhglkjhdflkjd. also. do they think im funneyyy >:)

Eye color?

light brown. i think

Scary movies or happy endings?

not picky i like em all 👍

Any special talents?

that pepe silvia scene with charlie kelly but it's me linking everything to Die Hard. not kidding. it's a curse i could think "pff no way what im watching rn is linked in any way to Die Hard" and i can while saying that already do the mental exercice to link the two things. everything is fucking linked to these movies. even bands. mcr! weird al! talking heads!!! movie/tvshow is easier to link up to Die Hard but still anyway been thinking abt doing twitch stream abt this for years now. like that wikipedia speedrun game thing but. mmm die hard......

Where were you born?

South-ish east of France, didn't live there long at all was a babey when we left to get further south 👍👍👍

What are you hobbies?

movies 👍 tvshows 👍 music 👍 im so original ik. i like to draw too!!!! computer stuff yumyum!!!! viddie games 👍👍👍👍

Do you have any pets?

How tall are you?

da bébé (basically garfied if he slayed more + had longer hair)

</3333333333 like 5'2. jerma voice why are u short because god doesn't fucking love me that's why

Favorite subject in school?

honestly don't remember much </3 ig art back in middle school. and i liked learning about everything we had but highly depended on the teachers + class too. learning is fun!!!! not in france's school system tho

Dream job?

scary question..................... currently having a "realistic" work project (very long term) to be a cyber café owner!!!! but capitalism wasn't a thing i guess would like to do my shit, drawing and creating other things to trade for other things................ wanted to work in space as a kid so ig this too

#tag game #yipee!!!!

[britswriting]

Unbroken (43)

Last chapter of Unbroken! Presave Desire on Wattpad, will update the bottom of this when the first chapter of Desire comes out on Tumblr (wattpad always gets it first though.. shh)

Unbroken Masterlist

Read Unbroken on Wattpad

Desire - Wattpad

I didn't feel like spending a million years making IG stories, so ignore the half assed ones lol

Trigger warning: Struggles of bonding with the baby, thoughts of giving her away, suicidal thoughts

A/N: you're going to see Leigh waffle between the highs and lows of being a mom. Please be patient with her.

*Leighton's POV*

"Look how cute she is!" Aaliyah coo, placing the 24 hours old sign next to Gemma.

"I can't believe she'll be in this world for twenty four hours! Is your camera ready? We need to capture the exact moment!" I questioned, excited to capture this milestone.

"I still can't believe you named her after Harry Styles sister" Aaliyah said nonchalantly and I rolled my eyes.

"She's named after my mom"

"Yeah and Harry Styles sister"

"Shut up and focus on the clock so we don't miss it!"

"Fine"

We took photos of Gemma, and Lexi helped do my hair so I could take some hospital photos with her, Gabe taking over my bathroom mirror to fix his own.

"I still can't believe this came out of your body" Aaliyah let out a content sigh, softly rubbing Gemma's cheek.

"Right! I was in labor with her for like 30 hours! Pain in my ass she is!" I laughed, feeling my heart beat quicker when her face scrunched up as the sunlight hit it.

"I don't know how you managed that. If I ever have kids I'm opting out for a c-section"

"Colby was a lot of help. Gabe was too I guess.. I don't know. I don't remember too many details other than up till I got my epidural, and then Gabe passing out. Plus um.. I kinda stupidly kissed Colby.. and he's been ignoring me since" I admitted shamefully, watching her eyes widen.

"You kissed him?! Why?! Since when were you ever interested in him?" Aaliyah asked in a state of complete shock.

"I'm not.. I think I was just caught up in the moment you know.. he was there attentively my whole labor and delivery.. you don't just do that with someone you hate.. Can we not talk about my labor please, I don't want to start crying"

"You brought it up!" She laughed, bringing her camera up to her face to photograph my baby.

"I know.. I don't know. I'm struggling. Full transparency.. I know I've been laughing with you guys a lot.. but this is.. this is something else. I'm scared that I just went through something so personal.. and now things are ruined"

"What do you mean?" She asked, glancing over her shoulder at me, shushing Gemma as she started to whimper.

"I'm afraid that I went through such a personal experience with someone I barely know.. and now things are ruined. Like.. like.. he saw my baby be born.. and hasn't held a conversation with me since" I admitted, unsure of my feelings towards the situation.

"Leigh, don't worry about him. You just had a baby. The drama and the boys and worrying about anything that isn't your and your baby's well being isn't important. If you made a mistake, tell him. If you're worried, tell him, but don't let it consume you too much. Now, I'm going to need you to pick up this sweet angel and kiss her sweet face so I can take a cute photo"

After our mini photoshoot, a nurse came in and asked if we were ready to do the newborn bath.

Gabe and I watched her get the water lukewarm and carefully hand scoop some water over Gemma's head.

"When her hair comes in, you put some shampoo on the hair and carefully comb through it, then carefully rub their hair with water to rinse it out" She explained and we nodded, taking everything in.

She took a washcloth and carefully gave her a sponge bath.

After the bath Sam and Colby came in to hang out with us as my Cynthia and Lexi left to go pick up food.

"She really is gorgeous Leigh. She honestly doesn't have the ugly newborn phase" Sam noted, inspecting my baby which made me laugh a little.

"She could be a model for baby gap!" Kat squealed and I quickly shook my head.

"My baby is not being plastered all over social media" I informed, wincing as I sat down.

"But she's got the face for it! A star from day one!" Aaliyah announced, the others joining in.

Once things settled down a bit, and Gemma was laying against my chest, I told them her name, and watched the excitement build up in the room.

"That's your mom's name right?" Colby asked and I nodded, smiling at my sweet girl.

"What's her full name?" Kat asked and I grinned over at her, knowing she's going to be very excited when she finds out.

"Gemma Lorraine" I replied, Katrina's eyes lighting up.

"WE SHARE A MIDDLE NAME?!" She yelled, which caused Gemma to cry.

I worked on calming her down and they asked for the okay to post the announcement of my baby on social media and I informed them that they could, I just asked that they keep her name and face private, and that's when her first nickname was born.

*

*

A/N: pretend it's kat. I'm too lazy to actually edit a photo for a fake IG story lol

"You know in school, I was always called Sammy G, so we already have things in common" Sam grinned, seeming proud as he now held Gemma in his arms.

"Nope she's another girl in our group! She's closer to me! I can teach her all the girly stuff! Plus we share a middle name!" Kat playfully argued.

"She's my godchild. I trump all" Aaliyah grinned, seeming happy that she had the upper hand over the other three.

"I'm her mother, I win" I grinned, feeling giddy at this announcement.

I'm her mother

Another 15 minutes passed and Aaliyah ended up having to leave, leaving me with the YouTubers.

"I can't believe she's been off oxygen for three hours! She's growing up so fast!" I frowned, carefully waddling over towards the bathroom.

When I came back out, Colby was taking some photos with Gemma, and Lexi and Cynthia were passing around food.

"Do you know when you're getting released?" Sam asked, Lexi handing me my chicken.

"Once I go to the bathroom, I should get my discharge papers. She also has to pass a breathing test and the car seat test. Gabriel went to go as the nurse when he needed to bring it up" I took a bite of my chicken, smiling at my baby girl resting in my friend's arms.

"Leigh was given stool softener" Kat slightly snickered and I glared, huffing in annoyance.

No need to announce it to the world, Katrina.

"You know, once you have a baby, you can pick fun. But until then, shut it"

"Grouchy momma bear has arrived!" Kat teased and I rolled my eyes, eating my chicken.

It was maybe 10 minutes before a nurse came in to take Gemma away for a breathing test and Gabriel came back with his best friend Chase.

There was some small talk about how I've been doing and how Gemma has been doing as he handed me a Target bag.

"I'm ready to be out of the hospital. I know Gem has only been alive for twenty four hours.. but I've been here for days. I'm done" I griped, pulling out some of the baby clothes Gabe bought. "This is cute" I smiled at the light pink onesie.

I went through some of the new outfits, aweing over how adorable they looked when Gabe spoke up, catching me off guard.

"We still need to figure out whose last name she's getting" he said and I sighed, closing my eyes as I leaned back against the hospital bed.

Here we go

"Tell me why she should have yours"

"I'm her father" He said point blank and I snickered a little, "And? I'm her mother. Why shouldn't she have mine?" I fought back, opening my eyes.

"Because babies get their fathers names" Was his response and I swear the whole room rolled their eyes.

"How sexist"

"Leigh"

"What? That's what it is, isn't it. Wanting to carry your legacy. Have someone to carry out your name. What about my name? Why should I lose my name? Why should Gemma have Bennett, and not Fox?"

"Because Gemma Bennett sounds better" He said and I stayed quiet, not in the mood to argue about this. "You know, I've let a lot of things slide Leigh, the least you could do is let our daughter have my last name" He continued and my jaw dropped.

"Excuse me? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"My girlfriend was a fucking drug addict. It was long days and nights of worrying, and wanting change. I watched you destroy yourself-" He stared and I quickly stopped him, fully aware of who was in this room right now.

"Can everyone leave please" I asked and they nodded, Colby slightly hesitant, but Kat tugged him out of the door.

"You had no fucking right to say that in front of them!" I hissed, glaring at him.

"To what? Say the truth?" He said in a strong tone.

"What truth?! You act like you're the fucking victim! We both fucked up! You know damn well why we broke up, so stop acting like my bad choices are what ruined us! If you didn't  abandon me, we wouldn't be in this room, arguing over our baby's name! I wouldn't have to live with Sam and Colby and go through hell! You're not the fucking victim! If anyone's a victim, it's our daughter! Let it go! I was fucked up and struggling, we get it! But you're no saint either! When I went to jail, who came to my rescue huh?! Who saw me?! Who helped me?!" I asked, my voice getting louder.

"Leigh you know why-"

"Yeah I do, and I will never forget it. Gemma's having my last name. You abandoned me, and you're abandoning her. Names are supposed to mean something. They're supposed to hold value, and I'm not letting your shitty excuses be her legacy"

"Leighton, that's not fair" He started and I quickly shook my head.

"No! You know what's not fair?! You leaving me to go move to New York! That's not fair! We have a newborn, and you're putting yourself before her! You're leaving her! When she asks baby stories about her, and she finds out that her daddy left to go to college instead of spending time with her, how do you think that will make her feel?! YOU'RE ABANDONING HER! IT'S WHAT YOU DO! YOU ABANDON PEOPLE!"

"Says the girl who wanted to give her up!"

"THAT'S DIFFERENT AND YOU KNOW IT!" I shouted, starting to get defensive.

"How?! How is that any different than what I'm doing?!"

"Because I wanted to do it for her own good! I want her to have a better life than I can give her!"

"And I don't?! I need a job Leighton!-" He started to defend himself, but by this point I was too far gone to stop.

"YOU HAD A JOB HERE!"

"-A job I love! I want this Leigh! You're not going to make me feel bad about this! If I go to a good school and get a good job, she can get a good life! She's getting my name Leighton!"

"No! I refuse to give her the last name to someone who doesn't care! She deserves to know she's loved and wanted, and when she's older and looks around the room, all the faces she'll see are what?! Bennett's?! Your family doesn't care Gabe! You barely care! Did you even want this baby? Did you just say all this bullshit and make a nursery to what, humor me? To play me? Ha Ha good one! You got me so good!" I fake laughed, sarcasm dripping from every word as I vented. "Honestly, why the fuck did you make a nursery if you were planning to move to New York?! How are you supposed to give her a good life, if you're not here?! Do you think child support would cut it? It'll just magically make you her favorite person?! News flash, child support will not cover the years of therapy she will need if we keep going like this! If you're feeling bad or guilty or shameful, that's because there is something to feel bad or guilty or shameful about! Don't abandon your one day old to go across the fucking country for however many years! There are schools here! Jobs here! YOU CHOSE THIS! YOU DID THIS!" I shouted, my emotions getting the best of me yet again.

"Leigh-"

"And what the fuck do you mean that I can't make you feel bad for leaving?! I'm being honest! I'm telling you that your choices are going to affect us! I'm not following you to a huge city with a newborn all because you chose now as the perfect fucking time to go to college!" I ranted, not letting him get a word in edgewise.

"We talked about this Leigh! We talked about how it will be easier for her as a baby, then if she was a toddler or in school. I'm tired of going in circles with you! It's always the same conversation over and over again!" He expressed his frustration which only made my blood boil.

He was frustrated?

HE WAS FRUSTRATED?!?!

"Yeah. It won't affect her at all to have a single parent struggling because the other half ran away. Yeah, she won't be affected at all" I replied sarcastically. "Also, have you even for a minute considered that we're going in circles because we haven't solved anything? It's the same conversation over and over again, because we have the same frustrations and concerns each time!"

"How are we going to get through this Leigh? I don't want to be fighting all the time. We both want the best for her.. what do you want me to do? I don't want to resent you because I stayed. I want this so bad Leighton. I'm sorry that these plans are causing more chaos and stress... but think big picture-" He started and I felt the tears fall down my face, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.

"I can't think big picture Gabe. I can't. I try and I can't. I get stressed out and scared and you're one to be like "We'll get through this"! You're not the one going to be stuck across the country with a newborn! You're going to party and fuck around and get to be a young adult whilst I'm at home raising our child! Stop talking to me about what is fair or not, and how I should feel and to look at the fucking big picture! If we switched places, and I was going to college and you were stuck across the country with a newborn, you can not tell me that you'd be all cool and ready to go! I'm allowed to be mad! I'm allowed to be scared! I'm allowed to be afraid! I'm allowed to ask questions and try and figure this out!"

"I never said you couldn't.. I just.. we need to figure out what we are putting on her birth certificate Leigh"

I was quiet for a moment before looking over at him.

"Can I say something fucked up?" I asked and he gave me a look before slowly nodding. "Bennett sounds a lot like Bobet, and I don't know how I feel about my daughter's name sounding similar to a girl who bit off some guy's dick" I admitted and it was quiet for a moment and I felt my heart race, but all of a sudden he started laughing.

"Fine, she can have Fox" He laughed and I smiled softly, watching him basically lose his mind in front of me.

~

"I can't believe I'm about to change my first diaper" I sighed, reaching for the supplies as my infant wailed.

"It's not hard" Mom reassured me, handing me the wipes.

"It sucks to see the little tubes on her nose" I spoke softly, undoing the tabs of the very small diaper.

"I know, but she's breathing and that's all that matters" She reassured me. "Don't forget to put the new diaper under in case she starts going to the bathroom again" She reminded me and I nodded, placing the brand new diaper under my newborn's butt.

"Thank god it's just a pee diaper" I let out a breathy laugh, grimacing when I felt the blood pour out onto the pad I was wearing. "No one talks about how bad bleeding sucks" I grumbled, pulling out a wipe. "Front to back right?" I asked and she nodded.

I finished changing the diaper and my mom tossed it into the waste bucket as I tried to soothe my baby.

"Do you know when you're getting out of here?" She asked.

"Um, I think I'm getting discharged tomorrow. I don't know if Gemma is though. Depends if she's stable. I don't know if she has to be stable for twenty four hours or what since she's still on oxygen"

That night I spent trying to breastfeed Gemma again, but she still wasn't taking to it, and we quickly found out that she was born with a tongue tie, which led to the conversation about clipping it.

I knew it would be easier for her in the long run if we did the procedure whilst she was a baby.. but the thought of having her go through another thing scared me.

We ended up scheduling for it to be done that next morning and I found out I was going to be discharged that afternoon.

That night, a nurse had Gabe and I take an infant CPR video course to learn what to do just in case the unimaginable happened and that next morning I woke up to a nurse checking on me and telling me they were going to bring Gemma in for some skin to skin before her procedure.

It was November 27th now, also known as Sam's 25th birthday and I knew everyone was going to be busy hanging out with him, so I took this time for myself to write in Gemma's journal again and process some of the emotions I was feeling.

I have now been in the hospital for five days and I was itching to get out of this place.

I'm still very sore, but I was finally getting the hang of walking without crying, so I guess that was a perk.

I was also still bleeding heavily, but all I could think about was how my baby was still being monitored in the NICU and she wasn't by my side.

I tried my best to be allowed to go down and hang out with her when Gabriel wasn't, but I was still in recovery so actually being able to go and see my baby was a lot harder than I expected

Hanging out with Gabe has been weird since he dropped the bombshell about going to college.

I never thought my pregnancy, labor, and recovery would go like this.. and if I was being honest.. I was pretty sure this would be my last.

I had no desire to do this again.

It all sucked.

From the moment I found out I was pregnant, to delivering her.. it was hell.

I still was struggling to bond with her and I kept being told that the more I hang out with her, the more it'll click...

I went through these mood swings of being excited about having a baby and thinking about how cool it is that she's here now... to feeling dreadful and undeserving of her. It was a mind fuck for sure.

For the past few days I just laid in this room almost grieving my baby because she wasn't next to me. She wasn't here to cry or snuggle.. it felt like I lost her.

Was it normal to grieve someone you haven't lost? To feel alone? Confused? Scared?

Was this normal?

I was honestly so tired of crying, but it's all I could seem to do lately.

Colby has barely talked to me since I stupidly kissed him, and he hasn't replied to my texts. I tried to remember that they were all busy with Sam's birthday stuff, and that they'd reply when they could, but it felt very isolating.

I think the worst part of this whole experience is just how wrong it felt.

Nothing went to plan. From how she was conceived to how she was born.. it all went wrong.

She was perfect and precious.. but my brain kept waffling between she's mine and she's not mine.

I was too scared to ask questions, or even get opinions because every time I tried, I was just told it gets better. That this was just because she was in the NICU.. yet here she laid on my chest.. and I felt like I was holding a stranger's baby.

When they took her away to cut her tongue tie, I texted Sam happy birthday and told him I would make it up to him for missing his birthday. I knew his friends were going to take him out for dinner, but I hadn't really heard from anyone all day and I was starting to feel left out and forgotten.

What if they moved on?

I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of going home even though I desperately wanted out of this hospital.

I was slowly coming to terms with the fact that I would more than likely be discharged before Gemma... and that made my heart crack.

I truly felt like every minute I spent in this hospital was breaking me into pieces, and it didn't help that throughout the day Sam and Kat would send me photos and videos of them having fun.

"Knock knock momma, I got our brave little girl" A woman spoke, walking back in with a crying Gemma. "We did cut it, and she did a very good job" She reassured me, passing me my baby and I just stared down at her, feeling helpless.

"What am I supposed to do with her?" I asked, not sure why they handed me my baby.

Can I do this?

Can I care for a baby all on my own?

I carefully lifted up my daughter, trying to push away the negative feelings as I stared into her sleepy tearful eyes. "I'm not your mommy am I" I whispered, every bone in my body wanting to give her back to the nurse.

I felt the tears fall down my face as I cradled her. All I could hear in my head was that I couldn't do this. That someone would be able to do this a lot better than me. That someone can love her better. Someone else deserves her.. but then in the other ear I could hear Sam telling me to fight for her. To love her. To want her. For my mom to tell me how it takes a village and how we will get through this... and my dad.. God my dad was so excited for a granddaughter...

"Ma'am.. are you okay?" The nurse asked and I shook my head, holding out Gemma to her. "I.. what?"

"Take her please" I cried, my hands shaking.

The nurse quickly took her as a sob shook through my body, my head falling forward as I cried in agony.

"Ma'am, what can I do for you? Do you need a doctor?" She asked and I shook my head, hearing my baby cry.

"Just.. just take her away please! Get her away!" I screamed, crying in the process.

The nurse quickly left with my baby and I laid there crying, wanting nothing more than to forget this ever happened.

I can't do this.

Who was I kidding?

Me? Raising a child? Please.

I'd just fuck her up.

I already am useless to her.

I can't feed her, change her, snuggle her... and she's always on oxygen..

I should've aborted her. I should've put her up for adoption. I should've miscarried.. I should've died.

I should've died and I wouldn't be in this situation!

"Leigh?! Leighton!" Someone spoke frantically, quickly wrapping their arms around my shaking body.

I shoved them off of me, my nails clawing into their skin as I cried, wanting them off of me.

"Leigh! Calm down!"

I opened my eyes, my vision blurred and I could barely make out who it was.

"Leighton, shhh it's okay! It's me, Logan! Just tell me what happened"

"L-Logan?"

"Yeah it's me Leigh, it's me" He hushed, walking back over to me.

I cried hard into his chest, feeling incredibly guilty for the thoughts that were in my head.

I explained my thoughts and feelings as he held me close, just listening to me.

Logan eventually called in Dr. Hughes and forced me to tell her what was going on.. and one of the things brought up was Postpartum Depression.. and I expected her to tell me that I had that, and I just needed to wait it out.. but much to my surprise, she told me it sounded like I had imposter syndrome.

"If it is imposter syndrome.. what can she do?" Logan asked and Dr. Hughes sighed, so I knew we were really in for it.

"There is no cure other than just overcoming it in time. You don't have signs of PPD because you aren't thinking about hurting yourself or the baby. You miss quite a few marks to be diagnosed with that. You're just thinking you aren't good enough. That your daughter deserves better. I can prescribe an anxiety medication, and evaluate you for things to help you sleep and such.. but.. I think you just need to give it time. I need you to know that you're allowed to feel like this. It's okay. Don't feel shameful or guilty because you're struggling. Having a baby is a big change, and it doesn't help that she isn't here with you. I promise my team and I are trying really hard to get her to you. She's getting stronger every day Leighton, and I promise one day you're going to look back on this day and think about how silly you felt to feel inadequate, but the truth is, that you are inexperienced and that's normal. I didn't help you bring this baby into the world and expect you to know everything. All babies are different, and that's okay. It's okay to struggle. It's okay to go through all of these emotions. I need you to try though Leighton. If you truly want this baby.. you're going to need to try for me. I know you're having ups and downs and it's a scary time... but you're not alone. She needs her momma, and you need her. Do you want me to go get her, or do you want to be alone?" Dr. Hughes asked, Logan rubbing my back.

"Go get her please" I whispered, wiping the tears off my face.

"Leigh, I think you should get back into therapy" Logan said softly and I nodded, turning to look back up at him.

"Please don't tell mom and dad. I'm sorry" I whimpered, my heart aching at all the horrible words in my head.

"You're an adult Leigh. I'm going to treat you like one"

"I know I just... god I'm a horrible person! What mother doesn't want her baby?!" I whined, covering my face again as I laid back on the bed.

"A mother who is scared. A mother who wants the best for her child. A mother who is alone, and tired, and can't think straight. You've been worrying for a year Leigh! You've been through hell and back, and it's all starting to finally come out. Your dam is breaking, and we're here Leigh. Let us be here. Let us help"

Dr. Hughes brought Gemma back in and I took a deep breath, Logan lightly squeezing my shoulder.

"Here's your gorgeous girl Leigh" Dr. Hughes handed me my baby and I carefully held her, regretting what I did earlier.

"Hi baby" I whispered, my hand lightly rubbing at her cheek. "I'm sorry" I sighed, rolling my head to the sign as I took a deep breath. "She feels lighter" I muttered and Dr. Hughes nodded.

"It's common for baby's to go under their birth weight, plus she's been struggling to eat. She'll get back up there. Believe in her Leighton"

Gemma laid on my chest and we both fell asleep, Logan staying next to me the entire time.

When I woke up, Gabe was in the room talking to a nurse and I felt Gemma's breath hitting my chest.

"Where's her tube?!" I said frantically, knowing she had it last time.

The oxygen tank that was next to my bed was gone too.

I frantically scanned the room as my baby's life flashed before my eyes.

"Hey hey hey, calm down! She's breathing on her own! She's doing so good Leigh!" Gabriel reassured me and I slowly looked down at my daughter, watching her inhale and exhale slowly.

I ended up crying out of relief as I felt the air hit my chest, her body rising and falling slowly.

"She's.. she's okay?" I asked and Gabe nodded slowly and I took a deep breath, trying to not cry.

"They're trying to see if she can stay off of it. This monitor is her breathing" He pointed to a small monitor next to us and I nodded, wiping at my face yet again.

"Hey Leigh?" Gabe spoke up and I asked what, still looking at my baby. "I'm sorry for earlier. I'm sorry for our fight. I'm sorry for choosing to do this now. I know it's selfish.. but Leigh.. I wouldn't do it if I didn't believe in you. I know you'll keep our baby safe. I know you'll be an amazing mother. I trust you Leighton Rae. I trust you with our baby.. and I'm sorry that I've caused you so much pain and stress.. but I promise.. if I didn't think Gemma was in good hands.. I wouldn't be doing this. I know you're mad at me.. and I know you are worried about doing it alone... and I know if I stayed with you that things would be easier.. but I think we both need this. I'll do whatever I can to make this work. I promise I love her. I promise I'm thinking of her and I swear I have her best interest in mind.. but damnit Leighton, I love you and I know you're going to be a damn good mother. From the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were someone special, and then you got pregnant with my child after one of the hardest years of our lives.. and I was scared, I'll admit that.. but being here today.. I love you Leighton. I know we aren't each others soulmates and that we don't work well together anymore.. but I need you to know that I believe in you. I know you can do this. You've gone through far worse, and I know I've done a shitty job at being there for you, but I'm really trying. I'm trying to give you space and let you figure it out.. but I love you. I love you and Gemma so much and I know you kissed Colby. I know you did because Aaliyah told me... and I want you to know that it's okay. It's okay to move on.. it's okay to find love again. You deserve it Leigh, and if he is someone you want to pursue.. I want you to know that I won't stop you, or fight it.. and if he is someone that you think is good enough to be in Gemma's life.. I trust you. I trust your choices and decisions. If I didn't, I wouldn't be leaving. I would be putting up a harder fight.. but we can do this. It's going to be hell, but we can do this"

"She told you?" I finally asked since he wouldn't let me get a word in.

"Don't be mad Leigh. I asked. I was curious. You wouldn't have let him be that involved in your labor and delivery if he didn't mean something.. and because I passed out.. I just.. I wanted to know. I wanted to know if you were together or what the status was. Believe it or not Leigh.. I want the best for you. I know I've dropped the ball when it came to being there for you during recovery.. but I'm trying to get my time in with Gemma. I'm trying to be there for our daughter. I just.. Can I ask you something?" He asked, looking me dead in the eye.

"Uh.. sure"

"Do you like him?"

"Who? Colby?" he nods. "I don't know" I answered honestly and he nodded, glancing away.

"Can I ask you another question?"

I nodded, shifting the way Gemma was laying on me.

"Why did you let him be so involved in the labor?"

"Um.. I don't know.. I just.. he was there. He was always there... I just..... I've grown to like his company. I like when we hung out or the stupid talks we have. I like to annoy him and watch him get pissed off because it makes me laugh. It makes me laugh to see him be irritable. I originally wanted Sam, but he was on vacation at the time.. and I don't know. He was just there. He's always there"

"Have you talked to him about Gemma?" Gabe asked, and I was confused.

"About?"

"It's just.. is he a friend or is he something more? Even if you don't know.. if he got a girlfriend.. or slept with someone.. would you be okay? Or is he something more to you?"

"I don't know Gabe. I haven't thought about it. We've just been working on building a friendship. We're trying to hang out more and see if we can be friends" I answered, confused as to why we were having this conversation right now.

Gabe groaned, showing frustration as he started to pace in front of me. "Can I give you some advice?" He asked, and I nodded, curiosity getting the best of me. "Don't need him, want him" He said and I gave him a weird look.

"What do you mean?"

"Be good without him. If you lose him, be okay. I couldn't stand to watch your heart break because of me, let alone another man. Leighton, I don't want him to break your heart or Gemma's for that matter. I know you're unsure how you feel.. but I know he means something more to you than just a friend. Whether he's a new best friend or becomes a romantic interest... be good without him. If I'm going to be okay with you seeing other people.. I need to know that you'll be okay without him. That you'll be okay. I don't want to leave, and something happens. I want the best for you Leighton"

Before I could reply, Dr. Hughes walked in with my discharge papers and started to explain that they're going to keep Gemma here at least for another twenty four hours, and that if I wanted I could just be discharged and walked down to the NICU, but the more she spoke the more I couldn't listen.

All that was repeating in my head was

Don't need him, want him

* * * *

EEEEEK DESIRE IS OUT NOW! - Book two to unbroken 🙈 Find it on my profile and add it to your library so you know when the next update is out!

I'm ready to continue this journey with you!

Written on: June 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 13th 2022

Word Count: 5945

Desire (book two) part one

#colbybrock #samandcolby #solby #colby brock fanfic #colbybrockimagine #wattpad #unbroken #desire #baby #pregnancy #writing

[inumakiwrites]

hi could i request a toge x reader who knows sign language/they both communicate in sign language? it can be either jsl or asl. or maybe the reader knows asl and toge knows jsl, so they combine it and communicate in this weird combination of the two lol

The new student

Word count: =1.1k

Warnings: nothing ig (not edited)

Note: thank you for requesting! It would be wonderful to see you more, i really hope this is good tho! ♥︎ (ik i probably didn't write it well but yeah 🥲, sry it took time)

You wanted to move to another country because of some issues you had in your current one. Even though you will miss your friends but you can still try to contact them over phone calls. Your family was planning to move to Japan as there was a better job opportunity there.

Before you could leave, many of your friends gave you some cards and gifts to remember them. "I will miss you all" you cried hugging them. "I already miss you lots" your closest friend signed. "I wish you and your family can move with us" you signed back.

It was really hard to leave your country, where your heart belongs. It wasn't so long until you felt left out. You couldn't communicate with people much. You found it hard because everything was new. That was the only reason that you learnt jsl.

As usual you went to choose a school. It was so hard to find one. You applied to over 10 schools, non accepted you, maybe only one or two. But apparently it was far from your house. You suggested to stay for a year without school until you adapt the society and your parents agreed.

You were at a sweetshop. You gazed at a very tall guy with white hair. He looked like he's in the 20s. That guy immediately noticed you looking at him and smiled. "Creepy" you signed, turning around you found some weird creature. "WHAT'S THIS?!" You started trying to kill it.

"You can see them?-" that guy curiously asked as the curse started attacking you. "Do something about it!" You yelled at him. "It's easy" he said killing the curse. "All done!" . You were surprised. That was awesome.

Suddenly that guy took a seat next to you. "Hey!" You looked at him confused. "Hey what was that.." you said back. Satoru was excited to have you as a student "You dont seem Japanese..." he started speaking as you nodded. "I was wondering whether if you can get accepted in the school i teach in!"

"Wait really? I'm struggling to find one to be honest..." he immediately smiled again he suddenly picked you up and went to the school. "Where am i?" You found some weird things. "Those are scary dont show me them again, you creep!" You said clinging to gojo. "Pfft go make the entrance exam, good luck" gojo said leaving you with the principal.

The only thing you know after that is that you are a student in some school named "jujutsu High". You actually only found a few of students. You were confused about everything. You went outside your dorm only to bump into a guy. "Watch your steps moron" you signed at him. "Shut it. My head hurts" he signed back.

You were embarrassed. "You know sign language?-" you immediately said as he nodded. "Oh gosh. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to call you that!" You said awkwardly. He just nodded leaving. "Great now i messed things with a student on my first day."

It wasn't so long until you adapted the environment. Everyone was so welcoming. At first it wasn't all good with that one student, toge. He always used to annoy you. "Stupid" he signed when you did a mistake you just replied with "shut up". Your classmates didn't notice it.

They all thought you both were getting along. Especially that idiot teacher of yours. He always made you go on missions together. And sometimes with yuta.

Once in a mission you got badly injured. As much as you thought toge hated you, as much as he cared about you. No, he didn't even hate you, he was just teasing you all of the time. You were losing blood, he started panicking. Immediately he ran carrying you to somewhere safe as he and yuta continued fighting alone.

He was scared. He knows that you both aren't on the best terms but somehow... he doesn't want you to die on him. After he finished the mission, he carried you to the hospital, you have already lost a lot of blood and took some donations.

You woke up to find him "sleeping" on a chair next to you. You smiled looking at him. "Thank you toge.." toge smiled under his collar hearing you. ".. you're wholesome" not going to lie, this accident actually helped you both get on better terms.

From that day, You both pranked eachother and messed around. It was the time when toge finally felt understood. You noticed how you both grew closer day by day even though he knows jsl and you know asl. You learnt from eachother. It helped you both with a healthy communication. Since that day toge realised his feelings for you. He realised that he likes you.

You finally finished the school year, going to the 2nd year, you all planned to hangout as your friend yuta okkotsu was leaving for a while. You gazed at toge and waved at him. "Yuta isn't here yet" he signed. "We will wait" you signed back, "by the way, you look handsome" your hands were shaking as you signed so.

Toge smiled giving you a headpat. "Thank youu, you look great too" he signed. It wasn't much time waiting for yuta to come, but toge already bought some drinks and snacks to eat while waiting. Toge started feeding you some sweets as you were a big fan of sweets. He actually felt like he finally got to do something romantic for you. His cheeks were filled with some blush.

"Tsuna!" He started giggling as he gave you a quick kiss on your cheek. Your face turned red, but bro his lips were soft. "T-toge?-" toge ignored you as if he didn't do anything.

"Toge.." you repeated. He sighed smiling as you said his name. "I like you" he whispered into your ear. Your face immediately turned red. "I love you..toge" you left everything from your hand hugging him closer to you. Toge leaned in for a kiss as you immediately gave it to him. Tears started falling from his eyes. This event is for sure the best thing that happened to him.

"Oi lovebirds, i saw everything" yuta started laughing holding a camera in his hand, "and yes i filmed it" toge was embarrassed as you both pulled away from eachother. "No, you didn't see anything!" You argued. Yuta nodded, "yes totally nothing, right toge?" Toge was already hiding his face and didn't respond.

Afterall meeting toge was the best thing that happened to you, even though you weren't on good terms at first.

© inumakiwrites on tumblr. Do not repost or claim any of my works as yours. + do not translate without permission.

#inumaki #inumaki toge #toge inumaki #jjk inumaki #[🍡— inumakiwrites] #inumaki hcs #inumaki x reader #jujutsu kaisen inumaki #inumaki drabbles #[✨— requests] #inumaki x y/n #inumaki scenarios

[dearcupidcandy]

Dear Demon FINALE ❤️ part 3

(Ik it’s long. Hope ya enjoy!)

💕 Again Visuals aren’t mine! Just helps with the story~

“I see you tried to steal my love....” Chisaki hissed. He released you from his kabedon as he turned to face the one who stole his love. You fell to the ground. Looking up at a very pissed demon Kai. Staring back down at you. His beak unhinged wider. Quickly flicking his eyes back to the angry demon slayer. “What’s with that look s l a y e r?” His glove quickly disingrated and he placed it on the ground. Making him drop the flowers onto the spikes he made out of the alleyway floor. He let out a echoing ‘tsk’. Tanjiro pulled one of his swords out from his back. “Nezuko!! Get Ms Y/n!” He screamed. You simply looked at the chaos around you. Shivering on the ground.

Was Kai really going to kill you?

He looked like he was.....but he wouldn’t-

Your eyes quickly went to your demon form boyfriend who stared at you with nothing but a nonchalant look. He calmly turned back towards you. The spikes had sent Tanjiro and Nezuko back quite a bit. Gave him time to try to talk with you. With the look in his eyes. You could tell he wasn’t pleased to see that guy with flowers in his hand. Shit. You where going to be overhauled.

“Care to explain Angel?” He said in a husky voice. “Why that 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐎𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐬𝐢���𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐝?” You could almost see the feathers spiking from his jacket. The black veins on his face growing bigger. “I- I didn’t know him!! I would never replace you!”

He glared at you. Enjoying your scared expression.

“My dear Y/n....” He said. Eyes turning back into their normal stance as he caresses your cheek.

“Y-y-Yes Kai?” You quickly responded before you saw a sword appearing from the side of your eyesight.

“𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬.” His eyes went wide and his pupils went small as he turned around and gripped the sword Tanjiro was suddenly attacking with. Holding onto it and hit him with full force.

Tanjiro was shot back towards the spike and his the side of one. You stood there in pure shock as he bit down Nezuko’s arm. And swung her towards her brother. Nezuko was bleeding badly. You remembered the pain in your chest when Kai’s clone bit a hole in you.

Tanjiro’s sword slid towards you. As Kai huffed and turned back towards you. You had already escaped and was running towards it. His black vains throbbing as his demon hand stretched towards you. You grabbed the handle before Overhauled towered over you. His eyes never breaking eye contact. His calm attitude was replaced with an insane amount of intimidation.

You let out a shriek before he gripped you by the collar. “Your mine... Angel... I don’t care how many people I have to kill.... 𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛......” You knew how determined Kai Chisaki was. Why couldn’t you live without this man? All you remember tears steaming down your face. You screamed his name before blacking out. Chisaki muttered something about ‘not even death can keep you away from me my dear Angel...’

God damn it... if only you weren’t so lovesick then....

𝘼 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙖𝙜𝙤:

“Sorry Y/n.... I just don’t see us working out... I’m sure you’ll find someone who will make you happy!” The black and green checkered boy smiled.

Your whole heart broke. Not only where you quirkless. But you also weren’t a demon slayer. You where lame. Normal. He wanted to break up with you on top of that. You felt useless.

You silently nodded and he asked if you where going to be okay. You faked a smile and told him you would be happy no matter what. It wasn’t any use trying to convince him otherwise.

That night. You went to a bar. Got drunk with a kid in a boar mask and was too drunk to even know where you where going. You slumped against a wall in the alleyway. You sat there a while and cried. Resenting Tanjiro for letting you loose from his warm and comforting arms.

“AUGGGhHhHhHh!!!!”

Anguished screams where coming not so far away from where you where. You saw a blood splatter under a lamppost as footsteps appeared infront of you. You where too drunk to be scared. A man with amber eyes was staring at you. A man with a white hood next to him. He hovered his hand on top of your head. Your drunk self purred at the contact. He flinched for a second still looking down at you.

You smiled back at him. Making his growl out his words. “What’s your quirk? A cat?” You let out a drunk laugh as they both started to back away. You wiped your eyes from your tears and looked up at them. “I’m quirkless!” You announced.

“Are you from the Corps?” The white hooded man spoke. Chisaki still just staring at you. Not sure what to do.

“No!” You burped. Letting out another chuckle. “I’m boring! That’s why he br-broke up with me!”

Chisaki scoffed and removed his gloves about to kill you off. “Then let me put you out your misery ms normal.” You laughed and grabbed his hand. Making his eye twitch as you used his hand to pull yourself closer to his face. Hives didn’t break out. Which scared both him and Chrono.

“You drunk B-.” Chisaki started before you crashed your lips onto his. He let it happen for a moment before he pushed you back against the wall. Trying to wipe the drunk smell off his mouth. “Heh heh.... your cuteeee~.” You booped his nose before fainting on the ground. Making both Chrono and especially Chisaki flustered.

You woke up on a bed. You slowly turned you eyes to Kai watching you. His eyes unrelenting to look anywhere else. You blinked again. Looking at the man crouching on the chair. Waiting for you to wake up. Once it had processed in your brain you weren’t at your apartment you looked inside the blankets making sure you where still clothed. You where. But you where in pajamas and smelled nicer. You screamed as Chisaki sat closer on the edge of the bed. “WHAT THE FU-.” You started before the man chuckled and gave you a pat on the head. “I’m Chisaki...he started...” He explained what happened. (Not mentioning the kiss), and smirked under his black dust mask as you blushed in embarrassment. “I’m so so sorry Chisaki s-San!! I’ll leave right away!!”

“I don’t mind.” You felt your hand being touched by gloved hands and made eye contact with his now happy amber eyes.

Your memories flooded back to you. Getting yourself to wake up quicker. His words feeling like a syringe with each word of obsession.

“I’ve grown a liking to you......Ms?”

“Oh! I’m Y/n!” U-um.... Y/N L/N!”

“I see...” He leaned into your now clean body and planted a kiss on your forehead. “I’m Kai Chisaki...it’s a pleasure...”

Your eyes opened with tears. How could we have been so innocent back then? Your body had been reassembled. You struggling to open your eyes as you saw Tanjiro and Nezuko fight Chisaki. But what broke you was seeing Tanjiro getting overhauled.

“TANJIRO-SAN!” You quickly spoke. Chisaki flinched as you finally spoke. The spikes where gone as he came up to you. His demon form ceased a little. Still having his sharp teeth. His persona had changed and he picked you up. Staring into your e/c eyes. “I’m so sorry my dearest Y/n....” Forgive me?” His voice lower than normal. You looked at Tanjiro who went so far as to make a face of empathy. Nezuko hiding behind him. “You can gain her forgiveness by leaving Overhaul...” Tanjiro spoke with venom in his words. Chisaki sent him an unhinged glare. 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔- “Tanjiro’s eyes read that they regret breaking up with you. He was ready to die by Overhaul if that meant you were safe. He didn’t want you to be hurt because of him. But you knew he could never save you from Chisaki. You knew what you had to do.

“Tanjiro.... I’m sorry....” You quickly called to him. Making his eyes fill with horror. “Y/n... what are you...” You kissed the demon in front of you. He was caught off guard and accepted it. You had to save them from him. You where the thing that kept his sanity. You where going to protect this world.

He gasped out of the kiss. Going fully back to his original form. “Angel...-“ “I’ll stay with you... so please... spare them Kai...” He blushed at your words. He didn’t even say any words before he scooped you up bridal style and kept kissing you as he placed his hand on the ground. A wall appeared in front of Tanjiro and Nezuko. There screams where heard as he brought you up the stairs still embracing in a kiss.

“Y/N!!!! DOOOOoNNN’T!!!” You could feel his tears affecting you and you began to sob. Chisaki mistaking it for tears of joy. Smiling while you wrapped your arms around his neck. As the door closed. You saw Tanjiro stab his way through some of the rock. But barely getting there in time. You saw Chrono an the gang there ready to push them back more. Your teary eyes meeting Tanjiro’s as the door finally closed.

“I’ll love you forever Angel....” He said. Finally letting go of your lips.

If this kept the world safe. You’d gladly stay.

“I’ll always love you Kai...” Tears stained your face as he led you back to your shared bedroom. Hopefully they would be okay.

They had to be....

Hey you! Thanks for reading this! This was really fun to make! If you want more just ask ig lol! 💘

#yandere x y/n #yandere story #overhaul x reader #overhaul x you #yandere overhaul #yandere stalker #kai chisaki #overhaul #my story #my dear destiny #density #sad ending #bnha au #bnha villian au #twisted wonderland #bad ending #ending #series ending #demon and angel #mha quirks #bnha villains #bnha x y/n #yandere bnha #yandere #hehehe 😈 #domination 😈 #unhinged #demon #overprotective #possessive

[calypsoff]

Fifty Seven. Part 2

Looking over at Chris, he keeps falling asleep in the SUV. Meanwhile I slept and he didn’t, I wonder if he got any type of sleep actually come to think of it but him sleeping in the SUV he must be exhausted. Opening my bag and grabbing my phone, I’m sorry but he looks too cute asleep with his phone in hand, he is hanging bad. Aiming my phone camera and taking a picture, he is going to have one nasty neck pain when he wakes up. Tapping on IG and tapping on IG story, adding the picture and captioning ‘He still makes every appointment for me and FYI! He calls me a mouth breather lol. Love you @fuckyopictures’ pressing send on the post, I want to wake him and tell him about his neck, but I will leave it, let me call Jay Brown while I’m here and tell him I will do the Grammys, I don’t feel like shit anymore and I am ready to do that. I am ready to perform before I give birth, placing my phone against my ear as it rang out. Watch his ass not pick up, he always busy doing something “Rihanna” he answered “oh, very formal. In a meeting I am guessing?” He must be, I know that voice “you know me, but I had to answer. Everything ok? You’re important to me” he is so caring “I accept, me and Chris discussed, and he says make the Grammys about you, keep this a secret and then walk the carpet” I want him to know that Chris was involved “I like your husband, he is a clever man. I will tell them; this is going to be great. I will contact you soon I have to go. Bye” he disconnected the call, well he’s happy anyways. But I am excited about this, I think Chris is right. But I hope my face doesn’t look fat, oh my god I hope my face doesn’t come out because I will cancel that shit with quickness. I need to tell Tina actually, get the team together for the performance.

My driver opened my car door for me “thank you, I am going around to wake him” I added before he rushes over and opens the door for Chris, he is still asleep and I had to sit in silence because of him. Dragging open the car door “Chris, hey” tilting my head to see his face, god he is knocked out asleep “Christopher” patting his thigh, his head shot up and eyes wide open “hey” I laughed “we’re home, come out” walking off, he will eventually come out of the car. Making my way to the house, I am generally getting used to living here. At first I was a little not really liking it but I am getting there, it’s nice and smaller then what I would have gotten but I do like the stairs going up. I will need to childproof the whole house soon though, unlocking the door and pushing it open. Looking behind me and Chris hasn’t made his way out so I will leave it open for him, looking behind me once again “is he coming?” It’s making me doubt myself, the driver was going to go back around but I heard the door shut. Let me wait for my sleepy head to come, my smile grew seeing him dragging his feet. I am very much in love with him, the same way I saw him the first time, I do think to myself did I like him first day and if I am being honest with myself I was more scared he would be mean to me but I did fall for him “I love you Chris, I really do” Chris lazily put his arm around me “I know you do” he said huskily “you have really opened my heart in ways that I didn’t think could happen, I just want to thank you for loving me in every way” Chris chuckled “you’re being very loving now huh, what you want?” He questioned “dick” and I’m being deadass “that can be arranged, what you doing now” I’m sure Barry is here somewhere “office” nodding my head “can I come? I just want to be there for you, I want to know your business, if you don’t mind?” I want to be involved “but what if I’m not doing it right, you’re going to judge me” he is right “but then you learn, it’s ok” he needs to learn.

Chris keeps on looking over at me and then laughing, not sure why but he’s feeling like I am judging him but I’m not at all “how do you like, let me ask this. How do you take care of your family without giving them a job to help you? Like you and your family are good, no jealousy or upset but they live good, if you understand what I mean” why is Chris looking at me like he shy “what is it?” He’s stupid “no just looking but tell me” I chuckled “I don’t hire family, I treat them. When I go to Barbados I buy them gifts, I never have my family struggle at all. If they were I would want to know how to help, I learned giving money is a no. It doesn’t help, they do live good, and I do bring them on holiday and things but hiring family gets messy, even friends. I rather hire a person I don’t know then family. Worst mistake same goes for friends. I do spoil them, if they have a venture then I will help them with it and they know it. This is why I asked and said if they have a venture help them but hand on heart, after I heard they fucked your supplier up I wouldn’t give them shit, so why did you leave them in Vegas? For what? To have fun” Chris’ eyes widened “erm no” the erm speaks volumes “erm yes, don’t stick up for people like that Chris; they are playing with your money, so when something fucked up happens it will be Chris Brown’ friends messed up, never them. Your name and then mine, you need to be lethal, they will learn. The hardest part for you is maybe letting go and it is for me with my dad so I understand but now I am a wife and mother to be, I know where my loyalty lies and if my child or husband comes in harm’s way by my dad then I will cut him off, he can hurt me but not my family and trust me Chris I am waiting for that moment, I had to become this way or I would be taken advantage of and broke I guess” I didn’t want Chris to think I’m a hypocrite by saying that “I understand, so how would I do it. Telling them?” Good question “take them out for a meal, but Chris I have a feeling in my heart you’re covering up for them. They were in Vegas for nothing, and you left them there. I saw their posts, if I know they are using us as a pass into things, I won’t be happy. Nobody does that” Chris’ face went so small like I struck a nerve and I just know this game; I have lived through it and I don’t play at all.

Chris has been quiet ever since “so who is Deja?” I asked, he is answering her emails “she is working with my social media, since she started the page it has been super lit, there is three of them and they are answering service stuff, Neima and Cena are making a website which will be live soon” nodding my head “ok, that is fine. What to do with that, do a good launch. Freebies and stuff, entice people. I will promote it too; it’s your big day Chris so tell me when. I can you know be at your event, I mean not really but if you do a little IG live I can be on it, Chris it’s a big step. Be excited for it, so erm” I paused thinking “have you announced that website coming soon?” He nodded his head “ok, now post it on your personal page how excited you are. Just announce there is a surprise to come, I will figure something out for you. Let me just help you ok?” He was about to speak “but I am not with you to use your name” putting my hand up “stop, just let me help you and say there is a surprise, but I will think about what to do ok? Now discuss this with your team, your new team. I am going to find Mel, show her our baby, show her how active it is” getting up from the chair “you’re going to do good Chris; I just know it. I will help you” touching the top of his head before I walked off, he worries too much what people will thing when he shouldn’t “actually Chris, I have one. I will design a piece of clothing, limited edition” I winked at him, that just came to mind so quick there. That will help him a lot, they will eat that up, well my fans will anyways but then people will start buying and like his stuff because I do, he makes good stuff.

In no way shape or form am I being selfish with Robyn or declining what she wants to do for me but I wanted to kind of do it in my own but the more I realise, the more things are explained to me, the more hard this is to do on your own without the right backing which I have, with Robyn. I have Drake to fall on too also, I will contact him actually to help but I just need to get over this Barry and TJ shit “you’re here” Barry made his way into my office, looking up from my lap “you seem really down for a nigga that just saw his baby throwing up gang signs” I snorted laughing “gang signs, nigga” dapping him “I just saw the scan photos, cute bro. Baby is really claiming westside already” watching him sit down “thank you, I am excited for when the baby is here, just tired. If I am a little quiet” Barry looked around the office “you spending time with Mel then?” I mean what else if he here for “yeah, lay the pipe and leave” he laughed “that was your saying, don’t give me that look. She likes a chunky nigga with a big dick, what can I say” shaking my head “if you’re speaking like that then close the office door, what did you do in Vegas when I went?” I asked but I know what happened of course, I am not stupid “we were at your plot and we just were vibing, girls were just passing their numbers. We just living, you know what happened” Barry pointed at me “how many?” Barry cackled “yo, the girls were good” I sighed out “bro, leave Mel alone please. Just leave her, I don’t think you should be doing this to her. She is a good woman” Barry pulled a face at me “right I see you have your life in order, you’re married and everything. Just stay out of single folk business bro, come on” kissing my teeth “it is my business Barry, Mel is practically a sister to Robyn and if she finds out Robyn will know that I know! She fucking will, I am asking you as my friend to leave her alone” Barry knows I mean it now “just like that huh? We had sex and she’s a bad bitch you know these caribbean women love sex, you don’t know her sexually Chris, she sucked me off on the first time you know chicks like that stick, she is ok with it” he is a liar “bro I am telling you now, it ends here. You nicely say to her that I am not ready to settle, that is Robyn’ sister and I know this will upset her, and I thought you wouldn’t just be a dickhead about it, you got to stop and stop talking like that you dickhead! You know my wife’ background so shut the fuck up” Barry looks annoyed with me.

I need to speak up about it, I won’t say it to them, but he needs to stop this thing “right, so you’re upset about something that has nothing to do with you, why can’t you just keep your nose out of it right. I am having fun, she is too” he is funny “so she knows you’re having sex with other women? So I can just go up to her and tell and she will know?” he knows damn well that Mel doesn’t know shit “Chris, look. You are my brother, just let me have fun” punching the desk “Barry! You fucking listen to me, you drop it. She is a decent girl and doesn’t deserve this ego you have got right now; in her delusional mind she thinks you’re a good man! Not knowing you’re telling me she is a easy fuck! Fucking leave her or we going to have problems!” I shouted at him because I lost my temper, is he being fucking real right now with everything he is saying, playing girls like that “is everything ok here?” Mel and Robyn walked in “yeah, just having boys talk, right Barry?” he is angry, I know my friend “yes” sitting back in my seat “what are you both doing here?” I questioned “just Mel is going out with Barry now and I just come here to see your face” rolling my eyes playfully “miss me that much, my mom loved the photos. She is emotional about it, good looking out telling me to send them” my mother is so overjoyed, thanks to Robyn telling me to send them to her.

I was going to go for a nap, but Robyn sent me a text message saying come upstairs, that her back hurting so I guess I better make my way upstairs and help my baby to sleep. Walking up the steps while looking out of the window, my back yard is so damn beautiful. I really love it here, it’s so peaceful. Clearing my throat as I made my way to the bedroom, I think we need to start fixing the bedroom next door to ours for our baby. A smile grew on my face, just pure excitement hit me because I am about to be a whole daddy, I already love the baby “I am here” opening the bedroom door “you good?” closing the door behind me “oh you stood up now? You just text me that your back hurt and here I am, we can nap together” squinting my eyes “wait, you didn’t have makeup on before?” I pointed “I like how you notice poppa, I got dressed up for you. But” she dragged out undoing her robe, raising an eyebrow as Robyn took off her robe exposing her naked bottom, my breathing hitched “damn” I breathed out, she looks so beautiful naked “you look so good Robyn” it went straight to my dick, I felt it flinch already. Walking over to Robyn “your body is amazing Robyn, every part of it. You are really carrying our child, which makes you amazing” rubbing her bump with the back of my hand staring into her eyes, leaning down to Robyn and pressing a kiss to her lips and then moved away from her lips to cheek and down to her neck.

Our eyes met and held when I stepped forward and grabbed Robyn, pulling her body back to the edge of the bed. Licking my lips, I can’t help but touch her bump “you good with me touching your bump?” lightly touching “yes” Robyn placed her hand over mine “just makes me so happy to know how much you care” biting my bottom lip, moving my hand back and leaning down. The head of my erection pressed against the entrance of her sex and I am ready to be buried deep inside of her, it has been so long. I plan on slowly pushing myself all the way to the hilt and fill her completely. Spreading her legs wide and pushing them back into the air “you good?” I asked, I have too “yes, it’s ok Chris” I held on to her ankles and slid inside of her “damn!” Robyn spat, my groan was deep and long when she gripped my member and tighten around me. My hips barely moved forward; my rhythm is so slow. My eyes are locked on my dick sliding in and out of her. I enjoy watching myself disappear deep inside of her, it amazes me how stimulating such a thing as watching yourself stroke in and out of my wife could be. My eyes gazed up when I heard Robyn moan, her voice was caught in her throat, and all she could do was look up at me with begging eyes “faster” she wants me to go faster, to stroke a little deeper, to push a little harder. This agonizingly slow speed I was serving her was beginning to drive her mad clearly “I have to be nice” is Robyn crazy, we have to be good and not crazy about this.

I stared down at her face, loving each priceless expression she made. The ruffle between her eyebrows, the wrinkle of her nose, how tight her eyes were clenched shut, and what really turned me on, the way her tongue brushed across her bottom lip before pulling it back inside her mouth and biting down. It drove me wild, awaking the beast inside of me, but I had to contain myself. I fought the urge to flip her over and drive into her, something I really wanted to do, but I couldn't. I have my baby to think of now, I have to be good. Pulling out of her and thrust back inside of her and picked up my speed. Finding a natural rhythm, each stroke was filled with passion. Letting go of her ankles, I gripped her hips and piston into her. The bed rocked back and forth as Robyn gripped me and released, gripped me and release. My speed picked up more and my head fell back in ecstasy. It has been so long since sex “oh fuck!” I shouted; I know I will come early because it’s been too damn long since.

She came, I came. We both came hard. With a raspy grunt, we remained connected, our climax still slowly riding through us. I fell forward and placed my hands on either side of her, sucking down on her neck. My open mouth kisses moved across her ear "I love you" I started moving my hips again “my man always hard huh” I grinned “for you” nuzzling her nose, I am hard as hell for Robyn and always will, look how beautiful she looks under me “if I wasn’t already pregnant I would be” I didn’t even leave Robyn, I just can’t believe how hard I am still “you feel weird?” Robyn asked, placing her hand on my chest “a little, I would have flipped you over and fucked you so bad” kissing Robyn’ lips as I thrusted into her.

#chrianna ff #chrianna fanfiction #fanfiction #chriannaff #fanfic #chrianna

[saturno-sol]

Ok Here’s that Hollow Knight Four Swords AU heehee

So basic gist of this is what the Four Swords crew would be like if they were bugs in Hallownest! (This AU would lie just before the infection starts up, and then cut to in-game) I’ll put this under a read more because whew boy did I pour out my soul into this

First lets start off with Green!

 I’m thinking that he’d either be a Mantis, or a leafbug, def something green (but lets go with leafbug for now)

I think he’d live in Greenpath (heh) helping out the Mosskins just to make sure that the pilgrims traveling to the City of Tears don’t go where they’re not supposed to

He’s helpful though! offering up his services as a guide if anyone got lost

He’s loyal to Unn, because he got separated from his parents when they were travelling to the City and a few Mosskins adopted him instead. So they taught him to be wary of Hallownest and its King

He learned how to wield a Nail from them and also uses a shellwood sheild.

Once the Infection starts up, he and the Mosskin family that adopted him decided to try to travel deeper into Greenpath, thinking that the Infection was caused by contact with other bugs, not dreams

Sadly, the Mosskins he was with ultimately fell to the Light, and left him alone to fend for himself.

He then keeps to himself, thinking that he’s better alone (Kinda like the start of the Manga when he’s just Link) until he ventures out of Greenpath and stumbles into Blue! They fight until they both realize that neither of them are infected. 

He tries to stick with Blue, because he really doesn’t know the biomes of Hallownest that well, but they butt heads often. 

Now onto Blue!

Blue in this AU is a Blue Mud Dauber

He lived in the Hive, then later in Kingdom’s Edge where he would test his strength in the Coliseum of Fools

He’s still arrogant and a bit hot headed, so he decided to leave the Hive since he kept butting heads with Hive Knight on how to be a better guard.

He first trained in the Hive using a stinger weapon (Like Hive Knight) before picking up a club when one of the challengers from CoF died

I feel like he and Oro would get along somewhat, though Blue doesn’t appreciate how training is behind a pay wall of Geo that he just doesn’t have. 

He would occasionally fight in the CoF just to prove that he’s strong, but he’s stopped at the first trial (He’s still young and a lil bit scared of what would happen if he lost)

Once the Infection started up, Blue decides to steer clear of the CoF due to the fact that more Fools started being hyper-aggressive in the fights, so he looked for a better place to go that wouldn’t kill him (He doesn’t know where to go though, so he decides he’s going to leave Hallownest entirely to go look for another fight ring)

He found a way into the Royal Waterways through Isma’s Grove (Though it wasn’t called that just yet) and into the Fungal Wastes near Mantis Territory

 He skirted the Mantis Village (This would be the time that the Traitor Lord split from the other Mantises) and found himself at the entrance to Greenpath from Fog Canyon

That’s where he stumbles into Green and they spar, he then tells Green to get lost before continuing his travels (With Green following behind lol)

Next up we got Red! 

Red is a ladybug (I couldn’t find a better bug but if anyone else has a better idea for Red please let me know!)

He grew up in Dirtmouth as an orphan due to a mining accident killing his parents as they worked in Crystal Peaks

Luckily he was taken care of by the town and he became a baker’s apprentice

(Ok I like to think that the Grimm Troupe came to Hallownest before the Knight summoned them since Grimm knows about the vessel plan)

When Grimm and his Troupe pay a visit to Hallownest, Red was one of the only bugs brave enough to see one of their shows.

He became absolutely enchanted by the circus and it left an impression on him

When the infection hits his mentor and kills them, leaving Red without a job or a home, he decided to join the Grimm Troupe

When he does, he’s given a mask and a new name “Rouge” and learns how to be a fire dancer. 

Rouge is a bit more daring that Red was, trying out highly dangerous stunts, but he’s still a kind soul, helping out to pitch tents or help mend costumes or cook food for the Troupe.

His primary weapon as Rouge is a Flame Staff

Once the Grimm Troupe is summoned by the Knight, Rouge is tasked with collecting Nightmare Flames for the Ritual. 

(This is going to go through the Banishment Route just so that there’s an excuse for why Red stays behind) When the Knight banishes the Grimm Troupe, both Brumm and Rouge stay behind in Hallownest as Nymm and Red because of Red’s attachment to Dirtmouth (Ig? Idk I just need Red to stay)

As he now has no memories of either his past or his time with the Troupe, he decides to stay in Dirtmouth and sometimes wander into the Forgotten Crossroads before it gets infected. 

He meets up with Blue and Green when they make it up to Dirtmouth for a supply run, and he decides to travel with them (much to Blue’s chagrin)

He’s still a capable fighter! Now he wields a staff he made from the metal scraps from ruins of the old village in the Crossroads

Now for Vio!

Vio is a Purple Emperor Butterfly

He lived in the City of Tears as a burgeoning scholar, planning to work for Monomon’s Archives once he was done with his studies. 

He prefers being alone, holed up in a library pouring over the history of Hallownest. 

When the infection starts up and the City is blocked off from the rest of Hallownest, Vio panics and decides to hole up in his apartment until the hysteria calms down.

Once most of the panic dies down, there’s a big struggle over finding supplies and food among the citizens of the City, with the nobility hogging most of it

 In the scuffles, Vio stumbles into the Soul Sanctum, hoping that the Sanctum has food/supplies

He instead finds a container, and in that container is a Shade, a near to melting Shade

He decides to break it out of the container it was in as a sort of act of pity, and gets the hell out of the Sanctum, not knowing that he was followed...

(I’ll explain why Shadow can do all this stuff once we get to them but) It turns out that the Shade he freed now resided in his shadow as he traveled into to the Ancient Basin after stealing a Tram Pass and traveling to Kingdom’s Edge

He finally notices Shadow and promptly freaks out but slowly learns that Shadow is just chillin, and he tries to communicate with them to an extent of charades 

They soon become good friends, with Vio telling them stories about the different subjects he learned about and Shadow trying to mime out what had happened to them, causing Vio to learn that their shell had split open and they needed a new mask to keep staying alive outside of their container

Not to mention that Vio started experiencing Void exposure due to Shadow leeching off of his life force to stay corporeal (Like the Bug from the Queen’s Garden, the “Too long spent together we became as one”)

So now with the both of them up against the clock, Vio decides to do something hella risky, head to Deepnest where the supposed “Mask Maker” lived and hoped that a new mask would save the both of them

They head to Deepnest, almost die, but make it to the Mask Maker where it seemed that he was already expecting them. 

Bada-bing bada-boom, Shadow now has a new mask and a new form, and Vio stops feeling the effects of Void exposure

They both decide to go up and out exploring, hoping to leave Hallownest behind

So they travel together, and actually run into Blue, Green and Red in Dirtmouth, and decide to stay for a bit to at least advise them of the dangers deeper below. 

Oh before I forget, Vio wields a crossbow, and practiced target shooting on the Primal Aspids in Kingdom’s Edge (hehe)  

They join the little band of travelers and wham! Four Swords Squad is united 

Now onto our final character, Shadow!

Shadow is a vessel! They have two horns on their head that curve in a wave behind (Like his hat in the Manga)

Shadow actually escaped the Abyss after it was sealed, since they hatched after the Pure Vessel ascended, they along with a few others took the tunnels out into Deepnest.

They encountered Nosk before simply running out of its lair, not looking back to see if their siblings needed help (It’s not because they’re cruel, it was simply a flight reflex taking over before helping type thing) 

They somehow slipped into the tram and ended up in the Ancient Basin and into the City of Tears.

None paid them any mind because no one knew what Vessels were except for the Dreamers. So they slunk around the City just marveling at all the new senses they were experiencing 

But there's a reason that Vio finds them as a Shade. They had just so happened to be near the Soul Sanctum when they were captured by its denizens

Vaati (Yes he’s here but he succumbs to the infection real quick) is one of the Soul Twisters that tries out a new experiment in hopes of gaining favor from Soul Master.

He decides to try to leech Soul off of Shadow without turning them into a husk, thing is, Shadow didn’t have any Soul to begin with, so the process breaks their shell and their Shade pops out 

But due to the nature of the container being able to hold intangible things like Soul, and Shadow’s will to live being super strong, Shadow’s Shade stays trapped in the container

Vaati decides to keep them in there and simply monitor how they react to Soul, and even Infection exposure 

It goes like this for a while before the City shuts down and chaos erupts, with the Soul Master instructing his minions to capture more bugs for more Soul, leaving the Sanctum pretty empty....and thats when Vio shows up

Vio breaks the container, and with no where else to go (unless you count the Abyss but Shadow did not want to rest) Shadow dives into Vio’s shadow as a last ditch effort, being able to cling to Vio’s soul reserves to keep them from truly fading

You know what happens next, they both live in Kingdom’s Edge for a while, and Shadow used miming through the shadows reflected on the walls to try to puppet out what had happened to them when asked by Vio.

Once they make it to the Mask Maker and get they’re new mask, they finally are able to experience the world again, this time with someone trusted by their side. Vio promises to try to learn sign to help teach them so that they can communicate now that they actually have hands

Due to the fact that they had been in Vio’s shadow for a good while, they’re naturally clingy to him, either by leaning against him, or holding his hand (with Vio being a bit flustered at the contact) and they’re very wary of the other Four Swords at the start, but soon warm up to them little by little

Now it’s canon that all Vessels are genderless, so Shadow in this AU goes by they/them, later on once they’ve been with Vio and the Gang long enough, they decide that they like He/Him pronouns too, so Shadow does go by They/He 

Shadow has no weapon, but they do know Shade Soul and Desolate Dive from being experimented on in the Soul Sanctum so cool spell combos along with the Gang’s fighting style

And there you have it folks! If you have any questions or any suggestions please don’t be afraid to send me an ask! I love interacting with people who share my interests! 

#hollow knight #hollowknight #legend of zelda #four swords #au #I wanna call it either Hollow Swords or Four Nails #Ill put both and see what sticks #Hollow Swords #Four Nails #Jeezus christ my brain went on hyper speed for this one #my eyes h u r t from concentrating on this #but this was Fun! #hope you guys like my interpretation of the story #even if it may look a lil unpolished #thats because it is #haha

[justanalto]

#parting shot

my shoulders are feeling a little heavy as I write this, especially since it’s midnight on wednesday, and there’s literally less than 24 hours until the end of aos as a whole. but I was tagged by the wonderful @besidemethewholedamntime​ for the parting shot challenge, thank you! :)

With this tag game, I want to know the answers to these five (5) questions and then tag 5 or more mutuals. Wasn’t tagged but want to join? Join in ! Everyone is an essential part of this fandom! Name from @ agent.of.shield_ on Instagram ( @agents-of-fangirling ) who had a great idea to post a picture of yourself with a drink (or just a drink) and tag it #partingshot as a finale goodbye to the show (which I also am going to post tomorrow on IG).

Where were you in life when you first started to watch AoS?

I was 16 and in my junior year of high school; I was struggling to get over a guy that I’d thought I was in love with and chilling right through pre-calc. As one does. One of my best friends then (still is now, shout-out, honestly!) had introduced me to Marvel via Captain America: the Winter Soldier the year before. I was writing fanfiction like the world was going to end, I’d just made my first online friend...things were going about as well as they could for someone panicking about college way too early. AoS was in my peripheral (it had to be, I felt like, if you were writing Avengers fanfic), but it wasn’t something I was actively focused on. My dad was watching it on TV, I think, when I came downstairs to chill with him; he’s the kind of man who’ll just pick up on things from time to time, Marvel being one of those things. 

The episode was 2x05, A Hen In the Wolf House. The scene was “We have a mole, ladies and gentlemen.” Adrianne Palicki walked into the lab and my gay ass was done for. (And I didn’t even know it yet.)

Where are you now?

Six years later and a lot of revelations later, I’ve just graduated from uni with degrees in English and Communication with a certificate in film studies! I will admit, AoS dropped off my radar a little bit from seasons 4-6 because I was applying and going to uni; while I managed to either keep on track or live-watch it all, they’re not the freshest seasons in my mind because I’d back burnered it so hard. But now I’m back full-force, unemployed and anxious about this pandemic and wondering where the light at the end of the tunnel is.

I’ve made a couple more close online friends since that first one -- we’ve actually met a couple of times, and I put deciding to comment on their fanfiction that fateful night one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve been lucky to meet so many other people through this fandom as well; they’ve taught me about everything from dumplings to how to be a better writer. Some of them have even helped me grow as a person -- I look at the world and my relationships with people differently now because of them, and I can honestly say I’m thankful for it. 

I’m also a lot more comfortable in my sexuality now, which was a long journey that I wish had hurt less in some places but I’m glad I took. That’s another thing I’m thankful this fandom and show gave me -- in the early days of my coming out, when I was weathering it all, I was able to channel my energies into producing a work that mirrored my fears and uncertainties about my future rather than outwardly expressing it to an audience that had nothing to offer me but indifference.

What character development arc (or storyline in general) did you love the most?

That’s a hard one to think about, honestly, especially because my brain dropped out hard through a few seasons, but I’d probably have to say I enjoyed watching Daisy grow and change throughout the seasons. Every season, I’d think she was finally at her most badass and at her best, but by the end of the season, so much would’ve happened and she’d wind up so much stronger than she was at the beginning of it all. Her growth and change is something I feel like I can relate to on a very general level, if not that it means that we all have shit to go through that causes us to evolve. 

(Other than that, I am absolutely a sucker for Bobbi and Hunter’s arc, short as it was. Goddamned cancelled spin-off.)

What will you miss the most?

I’m going to miss the new episodes every week, honestly. At the end of every episode, everyone I know is abuzz about what just happened, trading theories and yelling about iconic lines/scenes they’d just witnessed and worrying about what’s going to happen next week. It means they’ll all be taking bets on just how bad the lighting is going to be next week, whether plot line A will ever be resolved or it’ll just be left in the wind, or fics upon fics coming out furthering character studies more deeply than I could ever hope to.

I’m also going to miss the iconic recaps that are the frickle frackles, live-tweeting the episodes along with the cast, watching the cast post accompanying Instagram photos to each episode. And while I hope this doesn’t end, I’m going to miss my friends swooping into DMs with me yelling about a random fic plot that they’ve just come up with either on the fly or while watching an episode, stimulated by the new canon creation. 

Favourite quote?

I’m absolutely awful with quotes, dammit. But one scene that I keep coming back to (it’s also conveniently located in 2x05, LOL) is Hunter to Raina: “Tiny violin’s playing, love. No one’s listening” because it’s just so snarky and Hunter. I’m also a really big fan of when he takes out the weapons when they infiltrate the summit, and Bobbi says “I love you” while May says “I don’t hate you quite as much”. Or Daisy’s “The one that looks like New Hampshire with legs...that’s D, right?”

(My favorite scene, even though no one asked, is absolutely the Spy’s Goodbye. I’ve never seen such cinematic magic. I cry every time. Honorable mention goes to “Get ready for a large file transfer.” “How large?” *filing cabinet crashes out of window*) 

tagging some friends I haven’t seen tagged yet to join me: @aleksandrachaev @nazezdha321 @brokenbookaddict @untying @faenavi and any aos fan that hasn’t been tagged yet -- this is for you and your parting shots! 

#one of the things about aos is that it's always been There #like I might not have actively been there #but it's been there with the confirmation that yes the world is turning and life is going on #i thought this show was going to end when I graduated hs; nah instead we got four more seasons #and i got more than i could ever ask for in a community #i said this to someone earlier but this is the graduation ceremony i never got it feels like #parting shot #tag things

[closer-stars]

in which the concert has made me feel emotions, i Don’t Like feeling because vulnerability is uncomfortable especially for someone who is usually the shoulder people lean on. 

lol story time and some words to atz i guess bec why not i guess.

i’ve known atz since kq fellaz, i think a lot of us do. honestly thought kq had sponsored a dance team in korea and decided to market them to the public to get them more views and followers. (i mean korea does fund their culture and arts well so it wasn’t too far fetched of an idea) and just became a casual follower of them since then because well.. dancer stuff lol. i honestly didn’t think they were trainees until i heard they were in mixnine (still didn’t follow cause lol yg). then they debuted, still i was a casual listener because their songs and choreography style were my style but i was more focused on my other fandoms. 

things happened along the way. to keep it short, a bad breakup that made me leave a few fandoms i was in for a while to heal (cons of dating someone who is also into kpop and the same groups ig lolol). i was looking for something to keep myself distracted without leaning too much on my friends because that breakup was just so horrible for me. i didn’t want to annoy my friends with the same story, the same questions, the same frustrations over and over. i hated the idea of wasting time crying over someone that didn’t really.. respect me? I put in my time to translating some of the content just to push away any remnants of my ex from my social media that i can’t delete and for a while it worked but when your ex’s bias is the most popular one it gets Hard. in comes ateez, and i figured, why not check them out. I did, i gave them a chance and it was an experience. They pushed me harder to become a better dancer despite so many difficulties in the dance team i was in while juggling school work (because when the members are my age, it triggers a small part of me to get competitive and existential). They were somehow the distraction and refuge i needed because everything else started to get overwhelming for someone who was healing from a broken heart, low self esteem, existential dread, all the negative feelings i can think of without getting into all the details. They’ve helped me get on my feet again. 

My friends have too, but when you know that your friends have their own struggles to deal with.. it’s not easy to ask for their help. I’ve had to help my friends pick themselves up from near irreversible attempts, mental health issues, psycho-social problems, you name it i’ve had to help them through it one way or another. To keep this clear, this isn’t to gas myself up. Just an explanation as to how friends have eventually leaned on me for strength. It’s hard for me to express my own worries through mere communicating of “I feel bad, I feel worthless, I feel like a failure etc” because most of the time the response has been... flat... unresponsive, not really in the way that you feel and know that they are listening to you. Which is kind of why i resorted to so many creative outlets, it’s the only way I can air out emotions and worries i can’t verbalize in the usual way. So if you ask me “Hey stars, how are you nowadays?” with the intention of wanting to really know how i’ve been. i won’t know how to answer except for the usual, I’ve been okay, been getting through each day. 

so how the fuck do i deal when in comes ateez being vulnerable? being open? (as much as the industry allows them lol). I don’t lmao. I don’t know how to manage emotions that make me near tears. I try to hold it all the time. Besides the feeling of vulnerability, i feel jealousy too. I want to stand on a stage and dance, because that’s one of the rare times i actually feel Alive. Even if it’s for three minutes only, those three minutes are the most Alive I have felt since high school. They keep making me ask myself “what if I just got a little more stubborn? if i lived life a little differently, would i be able to achieve the dream i have? to perform the way they do?”. (one of the reasons why I can’t get myself to listen to odaat is because of the tight feeling in my chest). While I know that it’s one day at a time when it comes to this situation, i feel frustrated still. 

Now at this point idk where this is going.. but like.. To those eight goddamned boys that put me through a rollercoaster of emotions for 3 hours. fuck you guys LMAO. Thank you though, thank you for becoming the shoulder I could lean on until i could get back on my feet. It feels disorienting too, to know that these boys feel the same struggles I did when i started dancing up until now. It’s also disorienting and downright anxiety inducing to know and be aware that both of us share similar passions and dreams, where one is able to achieve it and the other is in limbo (socio-economic factors say hello at this point). Hongjoong and Seonghwa especially, I swear.. The feeling of being the person the leader and everyone else depends on for morale and strength is something I know too well. The feeling of having to keep it together for the sake of everyone is something I’m too familiar with and maybe that’s why they hold a special place in my heart. 

These goddamned boys are forcing me to deal with my own insecurities and anxieties at a pace I’m not familiar with at all and I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t have the words for it. 

That letters from atiny of 2019/2020 hit me a lot harder than any of their sentimental songs. I’m hoping idk how long, that in the future, I can stand on my own, find my own direction and achieve things that can make the me of now rest easy from all her worries. I may not be able to verbalize my worries to friends but having songs that speak of it, choreos that visualize it, art that expresses it helps because hell shit’s hard. I’m hoping that down the line, if I get to meet ATEEZ, I want to thank them for being a shoulder I can lean on despite refusing over and over. You shits, I hate feeling vulnerable but HERE WE ARE. here’s to hoping that 2021 is the start of my big break or something lmfao  

#stars talk #just thoughts #do not reblog this shit i hate being vulnerable and wordy LMFAO #cw depression #cw mental health #uh idk what else to tag this as #but ye #prolly gonna delete it soon #this concert is making me go through it #I HATE THIS

[unproduciblesmackdown]

let's do a classic Primez ask

thank you lol Prime Time is.....6 am is when im posting this, christ lol what else is new around here........Good Morning in advance lol and [rise and shine sailors it be monday]

2: Favorite book?

i don’t have one lol

3: Favorite fictional character?

i also don’t Properly have like, all-time ultimate Faves in these kind of categories either, but there’s still standouts at least lol......obviously lately it might show that i’m enjoying winston billions a lot, and natch that’s just One of the many wrol roles i’ve been glad to discover. natch winston, jared, and jeremy are fave raves amonth them

5: What’s your favorite fictional ship? (Canon or otherwise)

this is the same as the [fave fictional characters] thing in that like, sometimes i’ll Consume something where i don’t have any, and generally i’m out here multishipping and not like live or die by one Specific Pairing, if i like a character i’ll also probably like Many of their dynamic/s with various other characters, unless the options are That limited.......tying this in to the fave fictional character thing, re: winston, naturally tayston and benston, aka the fruits of us all combining our Genius, are top tier and here’s riawin where we don’t know for sure where it’s going but we’re getting some great Dynamic(tm) stuff anyways.....and natch re: jared i Enjoy Kleinsen (as something to make up ideas about that are outside canon and also as a perspective thru which to analyze canon) and re: jeremy.....stagedorks is beautiful, wild to have canon just give you some content that’s already as good as that

7: List 3 negative traits you have 

well i can be fairly anxious about certain things, which is mostly negative for me lol.........a more negative 2-way street is that i’m just generally in defensive mode around people lol, often i’m like, just trying to avoid Attention entirely and/or like uh oh attention, gotta try to just avoid taking damage from it lol.......on a gradual journey to just being default More Unpleasant / less accommodating lmao......not that i can’t be sometimes, or that i can’t be Genuinely Friendly with randos coz i like their vibe and actually Like socializing lol.........and then re: the challenges of socializing, it seems like maybe when i’m in an interaction i get caught up in [uh oh how do i Respond a) at all b) in a way that’s Good(tm)] and it maybe makes me less attentive to the other person / a worse Listener smh

11: How do you decide when it’s time to cut someone out of your life for good?

idk luckily it’s not something i’ve had to do left and right lol.......but ime it’s Also not exactly like. usually a “ah Now Is The Time to have zero relationship with this person” and most often it’s like [gradual distancing period that is mostly passive] and/or just choosing Not to reinitiate any sort of relationship........though re: more active approaches lol it’s more like. time to try to tune into my [does this feel like something indefinitely sustainable / something you actually Want to have continue in any way] gauge or whatevs. and then still it’s like, sometimes easier if moments happen to come along that provide an [opt out?] choice presented to you kinda lol.........if it’s someone You don’t want to be involved with really but they don’t feel the same and it’s “on you” to decide to peace out at some point it’s more difficult coz such [do you want to opt out]-distilled Moments probably don’t seem to manifest but i think that’s a useful thing to be aware of in itself........i.e. that there’s not always going to be a Narrative-Friendly “point of no return” / clear Line Being Crossed and even if it Doesn’t feel like “i can’t / don’t want to deal with this for Literally one more day” that doesn’t mean you should totally stick it out / don’t have enough reason to decide that you are Done at this particular moment even if you haven’t been Done prior or think you plausibly hold off on it. don’t need to have some kind of story where you think if you Explained it to anyone or everyone it’d universally be understood and everything would applaud like “Yes, the Right Decision” lmao like. not their business....

13: What are your favorite lyrics currently?

well with our groupchat in the replies to that Eternally Crying Over The Bar Song post..........just enjoy the “stay here for a while / cuz it’s nice / cuz it’s holy” part of the refrain, a fun part of the music, and that classic iconis like, lyrics being in a sort of character Voice and yet getting the idea / feelings across effectively even when the words are sort of general or simple.......”shooting from the heart / but we’re all a lousy shot” is great lol and also “say you will always be here” ending with “for one more” is like, there’s another Broader Idea / Sentiment expressed so effectively :’|

17: If you could make a wish, what would you wish for if you knew it would come true?

i can’t do any fun answers lmao it’d just be like [political commentary] but that’s warranted lbr

19: How do you handle heartbreak? Is it something that’s easy for you to get over, or something you struggle with?

lmao i think it is like By Definition not easy for anyone to get over / Not struggle with.........can’t say i’ve had Romantic Misadventures exactly but uh yeah it feels bad to feel bad but i like......wait it out???? idk lmao you can’t really just timeskip past.....Heartbreak Sucks For Everyone Cuz That’s Kind Of The Whole Thing

23: What do you want your future to be like?

pandemic-less, fascism-less........i can’t say i’ve ever been someone like “yea i Know what i want to do and have this whole plan set out how i’m gonna do it lol” i remember when i was like 4 or 5 or whatever being asked What Do You Want To Do When You Grow Up and i was like “shit idk.......i like dinosaurs so i guess paleontologist??” and it was as much a mystery going forward.........always and still mostly playing things by ear with a few vague “if / then” type ideas......aren’t we all though ig

29: Do you think zodiac signs can influence someone’s personality to an extent?

what do i know but i Don’t like or respect the recent years trend ppl being way into it like this isn’t [being really serious about hogwarts houses] or Earnest Myer Briggs Types energy that everyone’s bringing to it......like what are you getting out of trying to be this Prescriptive based on when ppl’s parents got into it. meanwhile i’ve been on the edge of my seat since someone tweeted about “when will we get the first astrology discrimination lawsuit” re: a story about ppl wanting a housemate with a certain sign for compatibility reasons. and like again if it Is like “yes there are time-of-year Personality Types for Objective Real” like. okay, still, what is this Approach that ppl have....doing for anyone.....

31: What does ‘self care’ look like for you?

not very fancy lol i’ll be like “damn i think i haven’t eaten today” and then do it......or be like hey here i’m gonna Do A Stretch or some shit. walk around. step outside if it’s nice. both true that Self Care has inherent limitations re: like we can’t just cancel out all the detriments to our wellbeing via Personal Choices and yet also we can’t Not look out for ourselves how we can......i’ll watch something that i Enjoy. or just knock out if it’s like “christ i need a mood reset” or i’m trying to timeskip through a headache. pet a cat. i like to try to be Appreciative of everyday ordinary shit......also messing around Making Stuff whether drawings or otherwise can be a good helpful use of time, i like talking to people who i like talking to, and other stunning stuff like that lol

37: Have you ever been surprised by someone staying in your life?

not really lol coz again with how i’m pretty slow to realize that someone is like, nonzero actively interested in interacting with me on a regular basis, and then once someone’s In My Life there’s no particular point where i go “whoa....You’re still here??”......ig sometimes there’s like, Friendly Acquaintances where it’d be Unsurprising if they just sort of dropped fully out of the orbit but they do not

41: How do you show you care?

hmm i sure like to do ppl favors / give them gifts / help them out w/ whatever, hang out / generally be Around them where like, doing [parallel tasks] works i.e. maybe we’re doing different things but in the same room.....just like to Talk and all and listen to ppl and Learn Things About Them, try to pick up stuff re: ways that ppl express like “hey to me it conveys Being Cared About when ppl do ___”........food/cooking is a love language......that thing where shit you’d be way too anxious to do on your own For Yourself is like, oh i’m absolutely gonna do it on behalf of someone i care about.......all this stuff is more like, Possible in person lmao rip. i Care you guys

43: Which of the seven deadly sins do you feel represents you the most?

who is your hellsona and what is their origin story (how they got condemned to hell).........if i’m irritable / argumentative am i wrathful? you could presumably someone saying yep it is inherently the one deadly sin of lust if you’re queer.......at any given time i’m passed out and dreaming about “fuck capitalism and the protestant work ethic” and that’s sloth i guess. and okay i went “who named an animal after a The Deadly Sin as if it’s like ‘wow fuck this animal for choosing not to zoom around as though they could and i apparently think that they should’ tf” and in looking it up i immediately learned the Sloth Fact that apparently their shits are insane and also the most dangerous thing they do?? like they poop only maybe once a week and All At Once so that a single dump might knock off a third of their total weight........and it’s pretty much the only time they leave the upper branches of trees, in that they crawl down to hold on to the trunk and take this monster shit and naturally they’re not great on the ground so Pooping is like the leading cause of death for sloths in the wild. and i think they ought to be named after that. 

47: What are you passionate about?

oh man [i am passionate a lot.mp3] lol.........always having a variety of Interestes which i like to talk about / potentially make things about.......decent amount of subjects i like to learn things about even if  i’m bad at like, actually learning things generally lmao, what’s Not losing focus on shit.......idk it’s not that hard for me to like go off about Whatever, got these jack of all trades interests / areas of Some knowledge, i’m opinionated and probably have something (extensive) to say about anything as just part of my charm lol, and just in general i can get Enthused / worked up about things..........also passionate about various [niche gay shit] things eternally. whoms among us isn’t

#let's see if my genius plan of [lie down and try to nap and also try to wake up circa noon] works..... #employed that the other day Yet Also was like ''i Will finish this drawing today'' which entailed staying up till like 7-8am so.......

[accio-jungkookie]

shine on anyway - spider-man x reader (ch. 2)

A/N: Hi! Hopefully you guys liked the first chapter, and I really hope you like this one as well! Remember, it is a bit slower of a fic (you won’t see Spidey or Tony for a little bit yet) because I really want to build Y/N as a multi-dimensional character. I want her to be complex and understood and all that. So, I hope you enjoy! :D

Summary: A kid from Milwaukee has to grow up far more quickly than she should while facing threats that men half her age would never dare go near. So, when she has to uproot after losing everything, does she lose herself too? 

Word count: 2.6k (see? gradually increasing lol)

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety and depression, swearing, minor character death, blood and injuries, fighting, mentions of bullying, again I will add more if I think I missed any! :)

last - two - next

You sighed as you walked through the halls of school, heavily tempted to cover your ears and walk with your eyes closed. You felt like you woke up with a migraine, since all of your senses were going haywire. It felt like every scuffed shoe was squeaking directly into your ear, and every room with its lights on felt like a flashlight pointed directly into your eyes. Your stomach was killing you, and honestly you felt like hell on wheels, to quote a song from one of your favorite musicals.

You made your way to your locker, relying on Ky to make sure you survived the walk to your first class. She was truly a god send, if you are entirely honest. You would be dead without her right now.

This. Was. Bad. Honestly, your immune system was shot to shit but in all honesty, you have never gotten this sick so quickly before. So, by the time lunch rolled around, you had holed yourself up in a study room in the library, keeping all the lights off as you let yourself fall asleep. With permission from all of your teachers, of course. They knew your home situation was not the best, and that you had no choice but to go to school when you’re sick, so your teachers had all allowed you to skip, so long as your homework got turned in on time (which it always did).

You got a frantic few calls from Ky at around 4:00 when she couldn’t spot you in the library.

“Where the hell are you, (Y/N)?” She asked worriedly. You groaned as you sat up before you peaked outside of your door. You spotted your friend however and hung up before calling her name, gesturing for her to enter your small, cozy room. She turned and spotted you peeking out of the doorway before sighing in relief, putting her phone away and heading towards the room. She walked in and closed the door gently before turning the lights on, causing you to groan and shove your hands over your eyes as you lay down again. She gave you a weird look before shutting the lights off again, wondering if you had a migraine or something similar.

“You ok?” She asked quietly, sitting on the floor next to where you were laying down. She put her hand on your back, rubbing up and down as she noted how hot your body was running. ‘Fever?’ She thought with a frown, reaching over to feel your forehead to confirm it.

“Hey, we should get you to your grandparents. You’re burning up.” Ky mumbled quietly, already starting to pack your items up as you protested.

“Noooo~” You whined weakly, trying to stop her from grabbing all of your things. “I don’t want to worry them, and I still have rehearsals tonight.” You justified, not even sitting up to look at your friend. Instead you just covered your eyes again, not willing to move.

“We’ll tell your director you aren’t feeling good, and we’ll tell your grandparents that rehearsal got cancelled then. You need to go home and take some medicine and rest.” Ky said with a frown, finally gathering all of your items in her hands before reaching down to help you up.

“Ok.” You relented with a frown, not wanting to disobey your friend. She is only trying to help, so you wouldn’t be the one to say no to her. Plus, small Asian gets big mad. You don’t want to feel the fallout of her yelling at you in Japanese when you have such a raging migraine. Again. Plus, her threats get very… creative.

“Alright, stand up then.” She mumbles, shouldering your bag and wrapping an arm around you with a frown. She pulled your weight as you stood, stumbling a bit as she steadied you.

“I’m calling my mom to get us, and then you’re going to sleep after you take some medicine, ok?” Ky stated as you both made your way back down to the entrance of the school. You heard Ky talking to her mom in Japanese, picking up on parts of the conversation (you had known her since you were both six, there was no way you wouldn’t pick up on some parts of the language) before she hung up and spoke to you again.

“Mom will be here in 15, so sit down until she is.” Ky said as she lowered you to the floor, where you curled up a bit into yourself, suddenly getting a lot colder. You shouldn’t be this cold, you think. It’s April, so at most a shiver if it’s raining, but you’re shivering like it’s the dead of December. The feel of the cold tile below you did nothing to help your situation. 

As promised, 15 minutes later Mrs. Tanaka was pulling up in front of the school, and Kyomi was practically carrying all of your weight to the car. She dumped you into the back seat then climbed into the front. She frowned at you as you struggled to buckle yourself in before greeting her mom.

“Hi, Mama.” Kyomi said before looking back at you. “Y/N is really sick; can we take her home quickly?” She asked, and her mom nodded yes.

“Of course.” Mrs. Tanaka answered in Japanese, smiling at you through the rear-view mirror. “Anything for our Buggie.” She said with a smile, making sure you were buckled, as well as Ky, before starting to drive you home. You zoned out after a while, just listening to Ky and her mom talk quietly in the front seat as the car kept on. It started to feel weird the longer the drive took, and you could recognize that you were getting motion sick. You sat up and looked out the front window intently, willing the feeling away. You recognized that there were only a few more blocks until you were home, so you just clamped your jaw shut hard and sat through the feeling. Eventually, you were home and being escorted to your room by Ky, mumbling that rehearsals were cancelled, no you weren’t hungry, and no you weren’t sick just tired, to get your grandparents off of your back. It worked, because within minutes you were huddled under your blankets, fast asleep before the clock even struck 5:00.

You woke up the next morning on Saturday to a text from Kyomi.

‘Hey, check out this video! People are calling him spider man I guess :)’ the text read, with a link sent immediately afterwards. You sat up and looked at the clock, seeing it was 8 a.m. and you groaned tiredly before you realized your head felt a million times better. You smiled, thinking it must’ve just been a nasty bug that you had, before you clicked the link. You watched the kid swing on what appeared to be webs in a pair of bright red sweats.

“Very on brand.” You mumbled, watching him climb up a wall, your eyes focusing hard on the small screen as you tried to reason out how that was possible. Almost, if not every rule of physics was ignored in the video. Logically, humans cannot climb walls, duh. Maybe he had some kind of special adhesive on his gloves or something. And surely, he isn’t… making the webs himself? Like, they can’t be coming out of his body. You watched closer and noted that, at least the webs weren’t coming from his wrist but a contraption on his wrist. You sighed and texted Kyomi back.

‘So, is he a new avenger or something? Bc I know we don’t need any more of them trying to play dress up’ you sent with a sigh. Sure, they weren’t the worst thing to happen to the planet, but after the attacks that happened in New York, what happened to your mother… You couldn’t stand them. You got out of bed and stretched, heading upstairs to get breakfast. You spotted the note on the counter that your grandparents would be gone for the day, heading north to Door County for some early season farmers market or something. You sighed and went to set down the paper before you realized it was stuck to your hand.

“What the fuck-!” You yelled, getting the attention of your dogs as they ran up to you, staring at you and waiting for a treat or something, hell if you knew. The paper wouldn’t get off of your hand and you were freaking the hell out. You went to set down your phone to peel the paper off when you realized that the phone was now also stuck to your hand.

“OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod-“ you chanted as you freaked out, trying to get the items out of your hands. This would be the one and only time you would honestly be okay with throwing your phone across a room if it meant it would get off. You felt the phone buzz in your hand, meaning that Ky had texted back, and you looked at the screen, not really seeing her message in your state of panic. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves a bit. You opened your eyes and slowly opened your hand, letting your phone drop onto the table before you peeled the paper off of your hand, finding it awfully weird how it pulled your skin a bit. You threw the paper onto the table and went to the sink, scrubbing your hands to make sure that some superglue hadn’t magically appeared there. You dried them gently on your pants then walked over to your phone to read Ky’s message.

‘ig he isn’t an avenger, but I bet that tony stark has his eyes on him” she had texted back, causing your eyes to roll. You sent back a quick ‘sure, ok lol. bc Tony stark is just keeping his eye out for the next freak show’ before locking the screen. You walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, your dogs getting bored of you and moving somewhere else in the house to play. You sighed and decided to try the whole “sticky thing” again, since you knew your hands were thoroughly clean. Therefore, logically, nothing should blatantly ignore physics. You closed your eyes for a moment before tensing the muscles in your hand, then peeling your eyes open. You opened your hand flat, and then flipped it upside down quickly. Your eyes nearly popped your head as you watched the phone defy gravity, sticking to your open palm.

“What the fuuuuuuck-“ You whispered, turning your hand around to look at the phone from every angle. You relaxed again, seeing as it worked last time to get rid of the stickiness (?) and watched it fall into your lap.

“I think… I think I’m losing my mind.” You mumbled with your eyes still wide. You didn’t even know what to think, nearly shitting you pants at what you saw yourself do. You weren’t even 15 yet! How the hell are you supposed to know what to do! You let yourself panic for another moment before you took a breath, trying to force yourself to calm down. You had a crazy idea, but hell if you weren’t going to try it.

“Ok, Spider-Man. Let’s see if I’m, uh, you.” You mumbled with a sour face as you walked over to the only wall in the living room without decorations covering it. You double checked around you that the curtains were closed before turning back to the wall with a nod. You took another deep breath and put your hands on the wall above your head, tensing your fingers and pulling slightly, putting your feet on the wall below you slowly. Your eyes widened as you realized, holy shit, I’m on the wall.

“I’m on the wall.” You mumbled, slowly removing one hand and moving it up, then your foot, and then continuing until you had made it to the top of the wall, eyes wide as you breather heavily.

“I- what the- what.” You said, mind blank as you looked at the floor, a good foot and a half below you. You sighed and looked up at the ceiling that is now so much closer to your nose. You nodded and decided, yeah, okay, on the ceiling I go. You moved your body and slowly started to crawl again, eyes wide as you slowly moved and slowly, ended up on the ceiling.

“This… goes against physics so hard.” You mumbled, slowly moving around until you decided, hey, maybe I shouldn’t be on the ceiling. You almost hyper-fixated on the physics, about any possible, logical explanation as you slowly climbed down again and promptly freaked out. You weren’t sure what to do, or who to tell, if anyone. You ran down to your room and sat down in front of your laptop before you googled Spider-Man, trying to figure out what he could do to test it for yourself. There was no way, right?

You knew the webs weren’t from his body, but you noticed he had amazing balance and strength, almost too much for a human. Hell, he had stopped a bus dead in its tracks with just his hands. So you nodded, standing up again and looking around your room. You had no clue what was heavy enough for you to test, before you spotted your packed bookcase.

You walked over to it and pulled it away from the wall, eyes widening already at how easy that was. You nodded before squatting down, mumbling small encouragements to yourself, before you got your fingers underneath it and just… Stood. You stood up with this bookcase in your arms like it weighed no more than a few books. You nodded to yourself again, still horribly confused as you returned the case to its designated spot, eyes wide.

“Okay what the fuck.” You practically laughed before your face dropped. You thought quickly before sitting at your desk again, pulling up Google and the picture of the spider from the auditorium that bit you.

“There has to be a reason that he’s called Spider-man of all things, right?” You mumble to yourself, trying to find out what kind of spider had bit you. Since it even had the ability to bite you, that ruled out hundreds of kinds right away, and of the handful left, none of them had the same coloration at all of the spider that had bitten you. And even then, logically none of them had any way to alter the human body. Honestly, that is probably scared you the most.

“Okay, so let me think through this…” You mumbled to yourself, pulling out a pen and a notebook. You wrote down your own name and drew a line underneath it, writing underneath it what you knew you could do now so far. Super strength and sticky hands/wall climbing were the only things so far, but you were willing to bet there was more. Your brows wrinkled and you wrote down enhanced eyesight, heightened senses. It would make sense, since suddenly you didn’t need your glasses, and it felt like your senses had been dialed up to 11. You put your notebook down and tossed the pen on top before standing up, glancing at the clock on your desk and seeing it was almost noon. You sighed and rubbed your eyes, deciding to get ready for the day. You had to buy groceries today, and Nana would be very upset if you forgot.

So, you did just that. You got ready, went to the store, and picked up the few groceries that your house needed. Everything was totally fine and normal until you were walking home. You had your earbuds in, and you were crossing a street when you felt it. Every nerve in your body went haywire and you got immediate goosebumps. Your eyes widened, still staring at your feet, but you just knew you needed to jump. So, you did. Really fucking high, right over the car speeding towards your side. You landed on your feet, all of the bags in your hands still, and your eyes were blown wide.

‘What the fuck was that’ you screamed in your head, covering your face and rushing home. So, you could jump really high, and you could run fast (since you got home in half the time it usually would have if you had run it at top speed), and you had some random… feeling?

“Being a freak is fucking… freaky.” You laughed at yourself quietly as you got home and sorted out your groceries.

#spiderman x reader #spiderman x y/n #spider-man #spider-man fanfiction #fanfic #peter parker #tony stark #iron man #iron family #slow burn #pepper potts #happy hogan #found family #angst #fluff #tom holland #robert downey jr #mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #spiderman fanfiction

[phonaesthemes]

a list of asks

@padawanyugi tagged me in this, but Tumblr decided to eat any notification that I got tagged, so I’m glad I saw it on my dash because I like filling these things out. Thanks for tagging me! I may have typed A Lot.

Favorites: What types of books do you enjoy? Tell about what you’ve read recently (Or maybe about a book you hated recently!)I like spec-fic and sci-fi, although less “hard” science fiction, and I also enjoy fantasy. I read a lot of YA even though I’m in my 30s just because it seems easy to find a story I want to read and I’m not usually in the mood for dense prose.

I’ve been rereading the Wheel of Time series since it’s getting an Amazon TV show; it was my first non-LOTR fantasy series and I love it to death, warts and all, although I love joking about the weak points with other people who’ve read it. I think the last other thing I read was A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, which was a queer YA historical fiction, and it was a lot of fun. I wish I’d had access to all these queer stories when I was an actual teenager, but better late than never.

What types of music do you like to listen to? Share five songs from your music library. I really do like a bit of everything, although I gravitate towards certain genres more often depending on the season or time of day, so I’m going to cheat and pick 5 per season. Summer for me is lots of peppy pop (pride playlists!), punk and rock and punk-adjacent stuff, just upbeat stuff in general. -Weekender, by The Royal They -Break My Heart, by Dua Lipa -Toutes les femmes savent danser, by Loud -Ruby Soho, by Rancid -Womanarchist, by Bad Cop, Bad Cop

In the fall, my inner goth kid craves darkwave, goth rock, dramatic folk, roots rock, and also anything that reminds me of Halloween. -Iuka, by the Secret Sisters -Bela Lugosi’s Dead, by Bauhaus -How’s It Gonna End, by Tom Waits -Under the Milky Way, by The Church -I Put a Spell on You, by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins I could go on about the Christmas music I like at length (Boney M’s Christmas album slaps, ngl) but I’ll just skip that and say that I listen to more classical and piano pieces in the winter. I’m terrible at remembering names, so artists only: -Ludovico Einaudi -Chopin -Debussy -Saint-Saëns -Dvořák And in spring I’m usually just depressed af and listen to whatever. -FML, by K.Flay -Weird Part of the Night, by Louis Cole -Juodaan Viinaa, by Korpiklaani -P.O.H.U.I., by Carla’s Dreams -Marryuna, by Baker Boy

Do you have a show or movie that you can just put on anytime and it’s your comfort? Definitely Star Trek. I’ve rewatched the various iterations (except TOS) so many times. Also Mean Girls and Bring It On, idk why.

Do you have a favorite dessert? Tiramisu or creme brulée! Or macarons. I don’t eat dessert really unless I’m at a restaurant.

Do you have a favorite cold drink? Sparkling water, hands down.

Do you have a favorite game? The hours I have put into the SIms in my lifetime is probably shameful, although I haven’t played in a while. Don’t Starve is another contender for hours played, but I am also really fond everything by Amanita Design

Do you have a favorite part of your self care/beauty/health routine? I haven’t been doing it much lately since I’ve been dealing with some uncertain health issues with my joints (actually have a rheumatologist appointment later today), but savasana after a long yoga workout is borderline ecstasy.

Do you have a favorite type of take-out food? Indian for sure.

What’s your favorite type of exercise/physical activity? I have a love-hate relationship with running. I don’t actually love it but I love how I feel after. I really enjoy yoga. I love playing in the water at the beach, bodyboarding and swimming.

Pick between: (you choose the context)

Cook or bake? (I love cooking A Lot)

Space or ocean? (Hard to pick, but I grew up by the ocean and it’s 100% my happy place)

Chocolate or vanilla?

City or suburb or rural? (I grew up in an isolated rural village and I miss the quiet and the slower pace of life, but I do not miss the lack of amenities and opportunities, or the smalltown gossip. I also don’t drive bc of epilepsy, so I’m fucked as far as transport in rural settings.)

Past or future?

Shower in the morning or evening?

Mac/Apple or PC/Android? (Linux in general!)

Sing or dance?  (I don’t have an amazing voice but I can carry a tune without it being painful, and I love singing along with songs.)

Get up early or sleep in? (I actually love sleeping in but with two kids, early morning is my only time to myself, so I wake up before 6 most days AGGH.)

Shoes, socks, or bare feet? (Hate socks. I’m barefoot at home all year round.)

Marker, crayon, or pencil? Pen!

Tea, coffee, or hot chocolate? (Coffee in the morning, tea later on.)

Random questions:

Have you ever had any pets? (Had dogs and a cat as a kid, and as an adult I’ve had betta fish and cats, and I have a cat currently.)

What is your academic background/job field? I did my undergrad in linguistics, and I am currently a stay-at-home dad lol. I do freelance editing and transcription on the side. I don’t think I’ll ever work in my field bc I really don’t have the energy to go to grad school.

What’s something random that you’re into (even if you aren’t good at it)? I signed up for a Cape Breton step dancing class in university and I loved it.

Are you good at putting away your clean laundry right away? It depends on the day, but generally yes. Mine and everyone else’s. When I lived alone? Absolutely not.

What’s one of your pet peeves? Someone trying to have a conversation with me when they have the radio or TV on. I can’t follow what you’re saying if someone else is speaking! I hate having that stuff on as background noise in general.

What’s something you’re pretty good at? I’m a great cook.

What’s the most recent nice thing you bought for yourself? A new conditioner ig? lol

Can you sew? I can mend a small tear or sew on a button, but it’s been years since I did more than that.

What’s a chore you hate (or a chore you enjoy)? I hate vacuuming so much. So much. Maybe if I had a better vaccuum cleaner I wouldn’t mind it, but I just feel like I’m fighting with the stupid thing, getting caught up on its own cords, caught on furniture, can’t quiiiite reach a spot... HATE IT. I like shoveling snow sometimes, though.

Tell us a fun fact about yourself. I am 20 years older than my youngest sibling, and five minutes younger than my “oldest” sibling.

Never have I ever... Gone fishing, even though I’m from a fishing community.

What extracurriculars did/do you do in school? In high school, I played trumpet in band until the band got dissolved from lack of funding. I played soccer one year, was in a play another year. We had an art club for like a semester that I was in. In university the first time round, I did step dancing and intramural hide and seek  Second time around, I was in the linguistics club to help with assignments. (We were very much encouraged to work in pairs or groups for a lot of different classes. The only thing was that you did need to list your group members on the assignment so the prof knew who you worked with. My first morphology class in particular, we had a whole homework club where a huge portion of the class got together to work through assignments and help each other understand, and the prof would quite often show up. </tangent>

Deeper questions:

How’s your quarantine/last few months been? The cabin fever was really bad before the weather warmed up. I struggle with seasonal depression every spring, and it’s gotten much worse since we moved to Edmonton because of how long the winters are. (Snow from September to May/June? Fucccck.) It’s frankly horrifying to look at what’s going on in the US, but even though we have far fewer cases here, I’m really anxious that we’ll see another wave soon. Otherwise, I think I’ve adjusted. Home-schooling, hand-sanitizing, social distancing, masks...All feels kind of normal now, which should maybe concern me.

What do you think of human nature/society/etc.? I am like the least philosophical person you will meet so I don’t think I really have many thoughts.

What’s something you are insecure about? Writing my L2 if a native speaker is gonna read it.

What do you think is the meaning of life/reason that humans exist in the universe? I don’t think there is one, and that doesn’t bother me.

Do you think you’re better (whatever that means to you) than you used to be? Definitely. My adolescence and early adulthood was rough. I was dealing with a lot of trauma, untreated bipolar disorder, and I self-harmed for a very long time. I could not imagine making it to 30, let alone being stable and happy. I actively avoided thinking about the future because it made me spiral. But I was lucky enough to get help, consistent help from a doctor I clicked with, and it made a world of difference. I think younger me would be disappointed at how mundane my life is, but I’m thrilled to be boring because boring means no life-upending mood episodes. I have a happy partnership and two delightful kids and I couldn’t ask for more.

What are your thoughts on religion? I’m not religious and my own experience being raised in the Catholic church was frankly traumatic, but I know that it’s a source of comfort and community for many others and I think that’s awesome for them.

Do you think that there are aliens out there? I think so, although I think that we may not even know what other kinds of life to look for and may not recognize it even if we find it.

What’s something that’s been on your mind recently? We’re moving cross-country in less than a month (driving, no less, nearly 5000 km) and I still have so much to do to get ready aosjdoajdoasijdoaijsd

#personal #long post #in which i ramble about myself a great deal #@padawanyugi

[ladyshinobi]

LISTEN .. I Don't make the rules BUT...

I'm backkkkkk lol.

'Sup Juliantina Kru, Its been a while! 

After some (hilarious, unkowningly and partially self induced) technical difficulties with my internet I can finally get back to the world wide web...and here I was ready to check on this cool-non-problematic-usually-pretty-chill fandom only to find ....DRAMAAAAAA!? XD.

For real tho, its been literally less than a month, and I checked out for a bit right after the AMM Awards Extravaganza only to come back and find:

People freaking out due to some missed interactions between Maca and Barb on social media?

People getting offended because some of the big accounts were bringing back tweets from the past (My personal fave was Barbara's TITANIC one, I laughed a good 5 mins with that one?) since I do most of the Spanish side of things on Twitter I honestly think its a cultural difference situation? 

It was totally harmless and just for the LOLs? Im SURE they would never get offended, they'd probably have a good laugh at it themselves. This kind of teasing (that could be seen as bullying by some people) is quite normal in Latin countries tbh, as long as its CLEAR is NOT meant in a mean spirited way its all good really?

Also people comparing the way they both interact with the fandom and implying there's racism involved as to why people "pick favorites"???

I honestly think its more of an EXTROVERTED / INTROVERTED kinda thing, I've said it in the past MACA is wayyyy more at ease when public speaking (other than her naturally outgoing personality she has A LOT more experience than Barbs on this front, she started her career as a MTV HOST!) While Barb still clearly struggles with this, thats why her best interviews are with Maca: she gets to be at ease and doesn't feel the pressure of carrying the interview on her own, go and check their RAZE interview (one of their first ones btw) for a perfect demonstration of this, she's simply more reserved and shy and I get why people would gravitate to Maca's more eloquent persona a bit more (myself included?, and If anyone would imply its because of any racial motivation I'd honestly laugh at it TBH).

I still believe most people adore them both, just for different reasons and thats OK? Barbara does love the fans and does go out of her way to engage with them (yesterday's IG live was one of the nicest fan interactions I've EVER seen, she's truly a sweetheart with the fandom) she just does it in a more reserved, one-on-one way as we saw yesterday.

Well that's all I came across on the drama front, and those were my DOS CENTAVOS (pesos? lol) on it, now on to other news:

____________________________________________________________________

Maca-NO-LABELS-Achaga's Fandom exploding photoshoot (and people theorizing if she came out or not) this is hilarious to me, she does everything to tell people to stop labelling her (and themselves) and people STILL keep doing it ...lol. 

I TRIED to read the actual magazine (which is pretty surreal? Its something right outta a Welcome To Nigthvale magazine stand tbh) but the page layouts were so bad I couldn’t actually finish the articles? lol I tried, sorry XD. 

Time Square Size Spin-Off showcases (oh and she totally indirectly confirmed it btw ....TOLD YA its happening)

Celestial bodies literally named after them... people buying telescopes in ...3..2..1 XD

I mean, at this point just let the fandom crowfund the spin-off and it'll get done in a month, just sayin'.

Also on the Español side of things, they crowfunded a Billboard for Juliantina in Mexico City (for a WHOLE month) I think? that was the surprise they didn't wanna reveal to Barbara on yesterday's IG live, which brings me to...

Barbara's IG Live yesterday was so nice! She (at least to me) also indirectly CONFIRMED the Spin-off is totally happening ..she asked for PATIENCE...remember that IG post she posted like 2 days after the show ended that said something like "The Wait" ...They've KNOWN about a Spin-off prob happening even before the Novela ended IMO.

I think they want it to be BIG, i'm talking INTERNATIONAL big so that takes time, the other guys they usually get compared to (gurl bye) got a Spin-off and like a theater play I think...but all on a LOCAL level, If Televisa had to negotiate distribution rights with let's say .....NETFLIX that would take a little more time and that's what I believe is happening at the moment.

Also Youtubers reacting to Juliantina...some have been better than others, I personally aprecciate the ones that actually take their time to research what the fuck they're reacting to instead of "OMG Girls making out" but hey, that's just me! lol. 

I've said it before, I believe Juliantina's MAINSTREAM AF appeal comes from their story being so ORGANIC, WELL PACED and actually DEVELOPED, do you know who I'd actually LOVE to see reacting to this!? Grandmas lol, get me all those ABUELA reactions PLEASE!!!

Also Maca asking people to make reaction vids? I'm just gonna go stare at my Recaps that they'll probably never read, Oh well MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I think that's it for MY Juliantina AAM News Update? Anything else I should know feel free to let me know LOL. 

K, Thanks Bye :)   

#Juliantina #Amar A Muerte #Guess Who's Back #Back Again #Love This Fandom #And How Chill it is ...Until Its NOT lol

[enbyjade]

94, 89, 82, 76, 67, 64, 57, 56, 51, 41, 32, 4. This anon loves your responses!

4: How did your elementary school teachers describe you?

They would say I was happy, joyful, friendly, a pleasure to have in class, etc. In kindergarten actually, they handed at like, awards to the kids. Mine was "Mr. SUNSHINE" cause I was always smiling and happy and willing to cheer other people up whenever.

32: top 5 favorite vines?

How do I choose lol. Theres way to many. Ones in my head rn at least are

1 - An avacado... thaaaanks

2 - I dont have enough money for chicken nuggets.

3 - I smell like beef

4 - this bitch empty, Y E E T!

5 - hi, my name is Chelsea. What's your favorite dinner food?

Theres more, but those just came to me first.

41: last person you texted?

My bf @homotorah

51: current stresses?

Right now just getting my living situation settled. That mostly consists of work, insurance and food. Work has hopefully over with cause I just got a full time job that pays almost 14/hr so itll help a lot.

56: favorite tradition?

I dont really have any tbh. Most of the ones my family did were christian based and right now I don't want to deal with christianity. One I guess would be being able to pick where we went to eat for my birthday. I loved going to The Speghetti Factory for my birthday, but theres not one where I live so it makes me a little sad.

57: three biggest struggles I've overcome?

One kinda in progress in my mental health. I suffer from depression and anxiety and some days it's still rough but I get through it. I hope to get some help with that soon, but it requires insurance. Another would be figuring myself out??? If that makes sense. Sexuality and gender and figuring it out. I think I have it down now, but who knows, in a years time i might decide I ID a whole different way. The last is kinda cheesy ig, but my bf and I had to do a long distance relationship and it was really tough on both of us. It was for about a year that we were apart, but once college started we were back together again.

64: favorite website from your childhood?

There were a few I can think of. I played a lot of webkinz as a kid as well as another game like that called Moshi Monsters (I think that's what it was). I also played and put way to much time and money into Wizard 101. I got back into it a few months ago, but at the moment it's just too expensive to keep playing.

67: good luck charms?

I don't have any that I can think of.

76: favorite potato food?

Hash browns definitely. Tater tots are okay, and I realize that they're just cylindrical hash browns, but it's just not the same.

82: PC or console?

Console. I grew up on xbox so I enjoy the controller a lot more. I could probably get used to PC, but my wrists hurt after a while

89: who would you put before everyone else?

My bf @homotorah

94: favorite season?

Fall. The colors are really pretty and my allergies aren't as bad as spring

[twiddlebirdlet]

Post Digest

I had so many posts yesterday, and I could not possibly answer them all in this lifetime. My apologies for not addressing these, but here they are.

The words belong to the anonymous original writers. They do not reflect my opinions. My posting of them doesn’t imply any endorsement.

· Anonymous said:

Chris really is trash for ruining another relationship maybe him and Jordyn woods can join the home wrecker club

·  Anonymous said:

Mood, give up. People will blame you, the girl, the weather, everything but Chris, who could have easily avoided any assumption by not taking the pics. Pics with kids, pic of dog, hospital visits, videos for sick children all this is good PR and he used in the past. But where is the good on taking pics with dancers? They were not fans. He is not helping to make them being respected or less objectified. He is not bringing any discussion about their work conditions to the table.

·  Anonymous said:

People saying this is nothing how do they explain her boyfriend deleting all of her pix? If it was nothing if she wasn’t with him why is boyfriend reacting that way?

·  Anonymous said:

That girl was so completely lusting after Chris in her pics and posts that I think she absolutely would jump out of her current relationship if Chris so much as blinked her way. She was going to go anywhere he was. I will wait to see what happens but it looks like Chris may have made another poor decision. Why is this man so intelligent in some things but when it comes to women he is just so way off? If he thought SSH was bad, just wait for a young social media millennial. Disaster.

·  Anonymous said:

Bella & her bf are still following each other on Instagram. Maybe he deleted those photos of her as a way of protecting her? Maybe he didn't want to make his Insta private & thought this would be a better way of doing things. In any case, he doesn't seem angry enough at her to unfollow her. But I don't think they broke up before the Chris thing, as he still had their professional couple photos up & they were still posting gushy comments to each other. So it's still weird and suspicious.

·  Anonymous said:

What is up with Chris and taken women

·  Anonymous said:

So I guess Chris really is a home wrecker

·  Anonymous said:

I just want to say thank you for all the information you're providing about this whole Chris situation. I'd rather have the full (or as full as we can get it) story with all the pieces together so I can make up my own mind what to think, vs bits and pieces and people misreporting information that they heard third hand, etc. So your summary post with receipts was very much appreciated by me.

·  Anonymous said:

To me the whole intern thing just seemed like she was trying to be linked to him judging by the times the ig pics went up. I guess everyone has their own opinions I know people who have basically said it was nothing and refused to talk about it but if it was someone else they would be all over it. It seems with him people pick and choose what issues of his they want to discuss. All of just seemed iffy especially know knowing that her bf deleted her pics. Hope you're have a lovely day.

·  Anonymous said:

I’m worried about the people worried about your health. They’re so invested in this celebrity that they are policing your blog. He’s a successful, famous actor. He has a whole team of people to handle this. And, none of those people are contacting you...

·  Anonymous said:

I don't get anons coming in here and complaining that you answering asks about the saturday night events is somehow blowing this thing up and causing drama. This anon should go to twitter where there are accounts that tag CE, JS, enty and provoking more and more ridiculous accusations, including Chris roofying Bella's drink etc. Twiddle at least sticks to things we can prove so if you wanna complain, go there and set these people straight. They make real damage not anonymous tumblr

·  Anonymous said:

The boyfriend could just be fed up with her throwing herself at ce and then getting comments forcing him to go private. That would be enuf for a 20 yr old in a long distance relationship. Doesn’t mean she is shaking up with ce. He’s too paranoid to do that

·  Anonymous said:

From what I've seen on Twitter, there's a little bit of talk about the burlesque aspect of it (mostly "Ugh, you're all such prudes, get over it!") but no one seems to be picking up on the intern part of it except for like 3 people. I'm torn. I kind of want to see him get shit for this, because he was very stupid and irresponsible, but OTOH I'd hate to see what kind of PR crap his people will pull up to distract everyone. A PRomance with Brie Larson, perhaps.

·  Anonymous said:

Just a funny coincidence but it appears her (ex) bf and Chris share the same birthday lol. But either way not looking good. We can only speculate but it looks like her ex bf/bf didn't like her behavior towards him or something really did go down. 🦊

·  Anonymous said:

I think everyone needs to accept their portion of responsibility in this situation. The people that harassed or contacted the interns, the girl and the performers need to respect boundaries. I understand you posts Anons, but you also decide which and how many. Yesterday you provided a platform and it had consequences, people felt emboldened and crossed lines. I think everyone can learn from this experience and correct their future behavior.

·  Anonymous said:

So you keep saying your not sure if mark was there when multiple people keep saying he was.YOU keep saying that the pics were taking at the same or about the same time but theres no proof that they were. YOU keep putting out info that isnt accurate or just coincidental. that girl bf realise his gf is a thirsty ass and she got what she got but it doesnt mean anything happen between her and chris. NOTHING HAPPEN WITH THE INTERN STOP SPREADING SHIT!!

·  Anonymous said:

I think the bf just wanted people to stop harassing him about her so he did that instead of privatize. Seemingly less like a breakup.

·  Anonymous said:

It’s possible and probable her boyfriend deleted any pictures of her/them because he was tired of being harassed and getting bombarded with comments. He still follows her. He could have just muted the comment section, but maybe he was hoping by doing that it would help this all die down, and for people to lose interest. Which is laughable, because this particular fandom has a hard time letting go. Either way, I don’t necessarily think this is the beginning of a new relationship for Chris.

·  Anonymous said:

Sending you love! I truly enjoy your blog and your commentary. What you wrote about your struggles with OCD resonates with me (I had anxiety issues as a teenager. Mild in comparison to some, but they dominated my life). I will try not to clutter your inbox from now on, but, please know you are appreciated and I love the discussions we have here.

·  Anonymous said:

I think that putting the blame on this or other blog is a total waste of time. You know what would have avoided all this? Not taking those pics. How hard would be for him to STOP doing something that is doing no good to him? As you said, nothing positive comes out of this. He is not attending the ask of a cute kid. He is not visiting a hospital. He is helping a club to promote their name, something totally uncessary for an actor who reached his fame.

·  Anonymous said:

The intern thing didn't make the rounds in the internt, but the meeting with Dan Creshaw did. Chris is being criticized for that and for the twitter interaction.

·  Anonymous said:

Oy, its looking like she really did risk it all. Dumb childish mentality, what did anybody honestly expect from this situation? That poor boyfriend.

·  Anonymous said:

I don't think it's a proof that something happened between her and Chris but for sure her bf (probably now ex) didn't aprove her behaviour and probably he thinks that some limits were crossed. I have to admit that I would not like to have a bf acting like that around a famous woman or any other woman and leaving traces in SM which is worse. I really, really hope that Chris is smart enough to stay away from that or another kind of fame will get attached to him besides the "f*ck boy" image.

·  Anonymous said:

WHOA! Deleting all her pics? Does that mean Chris successfully ruined another relationship??? Whuut!?

·  Anonymous said:

You are very kind and your head is definitely on straight. You’re less of an “opinion” blog and almost more of a news blog anyways. Don’t listen to the haters. You aren’t being overly invested, cruel, silly, or anything else. I’ve always found you to be fair.

·  Anonymous said:

I looked at mark’s following list and he followed one other intern (a girl) who was also in the city but didn’t post from the box!

·  Anonymous said:

Tbh, good for her bf-her behavior (the comments) were completely inappropriate IF in a relationship, long distance or not. Unbelievably disrespectful to him. Hope her thirstiness was worth losing a relationship and (maybe) an internship. I am several years older, but there is no way I would have behaved that way during my college internship. Morality clauses apply to personal time as well.

·  Anonymous said:

Omg he deleted every pic with her. So now we know for sure that something happened that night lol

·  Anonymous said:

And now apparently twitter thinks harpy was there with Chris and they're back together. Oh for fuck's sake!

·  Anonymous said:

It's funny because many Chris instagram fan accounts just share the pic of him and the black singer/stripper but skip posting the other with the women group with clothes close to the nothing that they find I guess too trash for share with their followers in saying Chris with a fan in NYC without details.

·  Anonymous said:

In the name of everybody sorry for the large number of asks we sent you and the tiredness we,people agree or not agree, have caused you. We don't think when we send you an ask that you will receive many, everybody, after seeing one and your answer, wanting share their opinion about what an anon or you said even if it's for exprime our agreement. It's a circle without end. I hope you had a good night. Let's forget that,this girl is history now,the fire is extinguished now. Kiss

·  Anonymous said:

I've been seeing this gifset on my dashboard lately from Chris' interview captioned "I'm smarter than I look". No idea if the quote is real because I've never seen this particular interview but I think given the turn of events of the past few days it's appropriate to say "no, Chris, you aren't" LOL

·  Anonymous said:

Ok, I can't believe I'm saying this, but this whole messy situation really turns me off. I've always known Chris isn't a saint, that he's NOT Steve Rogers irl, going to clubs like The Box is not a new thing for him, but he should've known better. I want to believe he's not that dumb, but he's THAT dumb. This is really upsetting and I'm so disappointed. After all those good days working on a serious project in DC, does he really not care about his image being sleazy like that? Damn it, Chris.

·  Anonymous said:

So Chris alone went to greet the dancers? From what Manuel submitted, that’s what it seems like. She wasn’t there with him and his friends exactly, but somehow found out where they were and met up with them? I’m so over talking about this. Idk how you’ve done this all day Twiddle. My bedtime prayer is dedicated to you tonight.

·  Anonymous said:

Thank you Twiddle for taking your time to answer here and on DM. I know you also do it so that you will be best informed to answer any questions here, we appreciate that some took the time to gather more information for the rest of us. It seems like at the end of these gossip we all end up confirming our first guest. I feel we shouldn't give this girl more room. My conclusion for the day is either he never thought that girl was that thirsty or he's really just dumb. I'm going with cute but dumb

·  Anonymous said:

It's not a great look for him to be pictured at places like that, particularly when he's employed by a family-friendly company like Disney. He's been obsessed with protecting his image ever since he got the role of Cap. Btw, I am not surprised he goes to places like that but you'd think he'd be smart enough not to get his picture taken.

·  Anonymous said:

Have people forgotten that one of these thirsty hanger-on types (just like this intern seems to be) is someone who sent a video of Chris to tmz? I mean, he wasn't doing anything bad-just partying it up after a super bowl and he looked like a drunk frat boy. But even that got a dodger pic response. My point is that he should be smarter about people around him, especially when he's drunk.

·  Anonymous said:

Denying pics comes with its own risks. You don’t want to piss people off because that can have its own dangers. This has happened with other celebs. There have been several occasions where his pics have been in return for free bottle service or other perks. I am not saying that is the case here though. Not trying to argue with you mod, just saying it’s not black and white. A lot of mistakes were made here and the worst part is how avoidable it was. But most seem to hinge on Bella’s actions. 🐩

·  Anonymous said:

Mark follows a few of the interns from DC, 2 of whom (Bella & another woman) posted from NYC Saturday night & this evening. Also a few of Mark's friends are NYC as well. It's not far fetched that going to The Box was his idea. Also Mark would've needed to make a reservation to ensure they got in.

·  Anonymous said:

I think you hit the nail. What Chris gets from taking those pics? For sure he is being polite and the people involved get happy but taking how society works and how many people think and what they can do with that information, he got nothing good on posing for those pics. And saying that is just pointing out and realising how society works. People are hypocrite and mysoginist.

·  Anonymous said:

I feel you on the eating away at your Sunday. It’s not my blog and even *I* can’t believe how much time I’m devoted to this, much less the swamp you must be dealing with. Really appreciate your views and your time. I feel so silly that I’ve gotten so caught up in it but it’s like a car accident you can’t turn away from. Get some rest and lots of love. 🐩

·  Anonymous said:

People been posting Info but clearly no one believes it. That tree anon mention it.

·  Anonymous said:

People who are saying Mark was there and that she was there with a group of friends are just assuming as much as anyone else who says Chris and the girl were there with each other. The only thing we know for sure is that they were both on the same place, at the same night, around the same time, after meeting the day before. We can't deny that.

·  Anonymous said:

I’d like to say this girl blew her chances but this is the same guy who gave MK & JS multiple chances despite their fame whoring ways. Whatever it is it won’t last long but I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re seen together again. Too bad. His political project was exciting. Now it’s tainted because he’s proven what a lot of people thought of him to be true.  

·  Anonymous said:

You need to let it go now. This is a non story. It’s looking more like two separate trips were in the works and it was a “oh hey us too maybe we’ll see you we were thinking of checking out this club” now apparently you think because he’s ancient and she’s an impressionable child and burlesque shows are akin to live porn he should have shut it down. But those of us in the common sense world see this for what it was. Which is a giant nothing. So tip to TMZ. Guarantee they will think the same.

·  Anonymous said:

For gods sake. Read and post my second ask to you. Stop all this madness. Yes they know each other. That is it. They were at same club and of course hung out a little. So what They met at first dc meet I think. He was nice to her She was nice back. Nothing wrong with people meeting and being cool. Even if famous

·  Anonymous said:

Maybe I should rewrite this but Your acting as they were they in DC together. They MET and photographed but wasnt there together as Your wording puts it. Like I said you dont know of they were backstage together. Pics can be upload at any time of the night . Your just jumping to conclusions like everyone else.

·  Anonymous said:

The way some of you talk about women is so damn depressing ugh this fandom is on one today.

·  Anonymous said:

Liked what the PR/crisis anon mentioned, that it's wrong to think Chris was uninvolved in JS and MK's stunts when he dated them. It's naive to think he is that helpless and easily controlled.

·  Anonymous said:

What i really don't understand is how chris could have been so so dumb and didn't think of the consequences. Also his pr underestimated the whole situation. The girl was blatantly seeking attention and a story to tell, and any person with a brain would have got the danger of the all situation. I know that he loves partying but he was so superficial i can't even put into words. In my opinion the project has been hurt by this and everything happened today showed that.

·  Anonymous said:

2/2) as if he wanted to do that. I doubt he asked, but was asked to do it. 3) The girl jumped on the chance to go backstage after the invitation and took the pic. 4) People put the pieces together because the girl was thirsty the day before and liked the attention she got from her friends but now there is a chance she ruined the trip a little as people ran to protect their privacy.

·  Anonymous said:

I think if Chris wants to be taken seriously in what ever he decides to do. He needs to grow up and act his age and stop drinking as much and hang around different people that includes his friends from Boston. I feel most of his friends are just there for the ride including Tara. If he does ever get married she will have to trust him to no end.

·  Anonymous said:

"it's not at all weird for people here on a blog that is predominantly about Chris to talk more about chris' antics than about anyone else's. It doesn't mean they're more worried or think what he's done is worse, it's just that this blog is a place to talk about him more than anyone else. Nice try though." Nice try what? If you read the full ask, as Chris's fan, I'm more concerned that's he's doing publicity pics with treasonous Nazis than hanging at a burlesque show w/ an intern. But you do you

·  Anonymous said:

Hi! Sorry for this question but I just don´t understand what is going on here with Chris and this intern? I try to scroll down your page but I still don´t understand what has happened.

·  Anonymous said:

Some who don't have problem that Bella flies to NY and post the picture at the same place where was Chris was the first to be offend that Jenny posts pic when she was at the same place that Chris whereas she was dating him. Be careful anons I'm not a pro Janey but people were rude with her when it was normal(even if she trolled), she was spending time with his boyfriend but when another women did the same, without dating him, they think it's okay. Why?

·  Anonymous said:

I'm genuinely curious about what kind of impression he was trying to make on her? like you wanna hook up with this chick & you're letting her know that you like to gawk at other half naked chicks in your free time? Unfortunately this will never blow up, if his PR team can bury homewrecker scandal then they can bury anything.

·  Anonymous said:

He seems to unconsciously be attracted to attention-seeking women who view him as a prize. I wonder if it’s a defense mechanism to prevent him from entering a serious relationship? Also, seriously, why wouldn’t you just make it clear to her that she shouldn’t post their escapades on social media from the start? Has he learned nothing from the Jobby debacle????

·  Anonymous said:

Okay, from her comments and that pose, that's a girl that has no problem pushing someone out the way to get noticed. Like the pic, the side she was on was trying to get four people in, compared to the 3 on the other, so they had to turn sideways. I can see her making sure she was the one next to him. She didn't have to put her hand on his shoulder or stomach. She was trying for his attention. Did she get it? Don't know. Don't really care, but that's a college-age Janey. Just want that fame.

·  Anonymous said:

Now that there are pics of them together and seeing the way she's posing with her hands on his chest and shoulder (it is very reminiscent of SSH, isn't it? Which would hurt if I was js lol) taken with the comments from her and her friends, all I can say is YIKES. And also, SMH. I am not a prude and I actually like burlesque and have been to The Box and fully expected him to hook up with somebody in DC ~on the low~ but even I can say this is not a good look for him. This boy will never learn.

·  Anonymous said:

I’d like to think that he’d cut all ties to Bella now the he’s created a PR nightmare for himself, yet again. But considering for almost 3 years he was involved with a woman who was married when they originally met & got involved, I don’t think he will care. At least Jenny was almost the same age as him. He’s looking like an upgraded version of Dane Cook. For anyone who doesn’t know, Dane Cook’s girlfriend is 19, they started dating when she was 18, but were “friends” before that 🙄🤢

·  Anonymous said:

The more I see from this girl the more I think she’s just a thirsty very immature little girl. And has no idea what she could potentially cost Chris. But he’s not innocent as she found out where he was going somehow.. And then posted it everywhere. Him or his team should have warned them to be cautious. And once they arrived not continued to entertain them and allow them backstage. An adult would have said nice to see you I’m going over here goodbye. Just another dumb d*#k brain decision.

·  Anonymous said:

Oh, man... the boyfriend. I didn't even think about him. Can you imagine if the situation was reverse and her bf was acting that way towards a famous woman? I can imagine myself on that situation and I wouldn't like it. Even if she was just joking, which i don't think she was just doing that, it would be disrespectfull. I hope he is not hurt.

·  Anonymous said:

Tks for the clarifycation for don't hate the player. So the girl had no shame to run after a man who has close the double of her age just because he is famous. Not sure she is again with her boyfriend but if she is, he would be very happy. It's clear,even if Chris makes bad choices in women, he wouldn't do nothing with her, discretion level he couldn't count on her. 5min with him and she shared and tried already trash things.

·  Anonymous said:

And Chris, wearing that Red Sox cap in NYC will bring you a lot of unwanted attention ;)

·  Anonymous said:

He was probably advised to stay away from twitter or he decided to do that.

·  Anonymous said:

"He doesn’t deserve to be placed on a pedestal. " Literally no personal should be put on a pedestal. NO ONE. Mothers, fathers, friends, siblings, celebrities, every single person does stupid shit or has 'problematic' opinions. If you place anybody (family, friends, celebrities) on a pedestal, you're only looking to get disappointed.

·  Anonymous said:

Lets be real-Chris is charming, he is a schmoozer. He was working the crowd in DC. If you are nice to someone, than you get your interview. This time he snagged a desperate fan girl & hung out with her. Not the type of guy I would ever want to be involved with. I could not be w/ a guy that wanted to go to those types of clubs. I think SSH didn't like it either. If this is the life he wants to live he will either have to find a person ok with it, change or be single. 10 steps back for me.

·  Anonymous said:

I think she is just a fan with a crush and people are reading into this way too much. I don’t think that’s her hand on his shoulder and the pose is also something we’ve seen in comic con pics. Her “way good friend lol” to means she is joking because he isn’t. The “don’t hate the player hate the game” is again joking and means don’t be mad at her because she got to meet him and her friend didn’t. Was there flirting ? Maybe but we know he does with everyone and she might thought it was just her.  

·  Anonymous said:

I don't know how publicits work. Do they keep track of the mentions of their clients in SM? I wonder if Chris' publicist is already checking the situation. TIME FOR A DODGER PIC IF YOU ARE READING HERE!!!!!

·  Anonymous said:

I find it hard to believe Chris would use this venture to go fishing for a college aged hookup or girlfriend. He mentions age and sneaking into bars in that video, so he also knew her (Bella’s) approximate age. I have no doubt he gets plenty of action and isn’t a saint, but this truly seems like she is playing up something that doesn’t exist. I question her more than him here, again, because he knows this is an important project with “real life” important people, not hollywood actors.

·  Anonymous said:

Chris seems so immature. I know we want to put the blame on Janey and MK and all the other girlfriends but honestly am I the only that thinks maybe it’s HIM who’s the problematic one? Idk I’m young so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about lol

·  Anonymous said:

All this shot is crazy. I’m know Chris is no saint but come on! At least let her be in her late twenties or early thirties! That’s nasty because she’s two years younger than me!

·  Anonymous said:

I’m not down for slut shaming in any regard. If anything happened, Chris was most definitely down for it. I just think it was dumb on her part, because she posted about it. Any potential employers could see this as a red flag. They don’t want to deal with the fallout of an employee causing a potential PR scandal, especially in the political world. Like if she did this once, she’ll prob do it again. I don’t think she’s gunning to be Mrs. Evans, but she def wanted to party and maybe hook up.

·  Anonymous said:

There was another video of him sending a message to a different person on a different day. I don't think the fact she ask him to do that means anything

·  Anonymous said:

For someone who seemed smart enough to get near a HW star, she sure was pretty naive and had no clue on how this fandom work LOL

·  Anonymous said:

But what damage could be done ? It’s not like he did something bad. There is no need to excuse his behavior because nothing illegal was done it’s not like he was caught with a 17 year old in a “massage parlour”. You guys also need to stop with this “he is almost 40” like he was supposed to stop having fun and living his life at 35. If you don’t like it fine don’t live YOUR life that way but don’t be mad at him for refusing to just settle and die because he is “almost 40” .

·  Anonymous said:

Not be agree with the places Chris frequents doesn't mean we think he is Cap. I have enought to hear this explication, like we are too much stupid to make the difference between the actor and the role he plays. With the conversation we have here, the majority of anons aren't teenagers i guess. A lot of people don't feel comfortable with the sex industry(porno,stripclub or the one night stand). It would be my brother,my neighbour,my cousin,it's a vice we don't understand not naivety about Chris.

·  Anonymous said:

I don't have much to say about this situation but I wouldn't be surprised if it does turn out to be something sleazy. I mean, this is a guy who had an affair with his married co-star and just a few weeks after she actually left her husband for him, he was going to strip clubs & she was tweeting about how that upset her. So he's not always a stand up guy. Mostly I find it funny that even when the girl is a young intern not in HW, she's STILL an attention seeking type. His picker is so broken.

·  Anonymous said:

Well, Chris definitely has a type.

·  Anonymous said:

I don't think that people are being judgemental but more worried about the consequences that this could create. Internet can make things scalate too quickly and even change the facts. But let's be honest. Chris is white, male, straight, rich. He will be ok. But he has to stop taking pics in those places. Remember when he was dating JS and he went to a certain place in Canada? No pics, people left it behind. That's the right thing to do. No pics, so it's as if it didn't happen.

·  Anonymous said:

Burlesque clubs in NYC are often listed in magazines as “things to do” in the city. They are seen as touristy activities. I can see a young girl being excited to go & asking for a hookup to get vip treatment. The place is not what you guys are making it out to be.

·  Anonymous said:

Oh please. How should he have celebrated international women’s day ffs. This is starting to get ridiculous. Women. Including 20 year old ones are allowed to go to burlesque clubs. Get out of here with that comment. And if you’re going to invoke a feminist day maybe consider the fact that she went of her own volition? I mean this insinuation that he took a naive child to a strip club. It’s starting to get a bit unhinged up in here.

·  Anonymous said:

Are we forgetting he got involved with a whole ass married woman? Lmao, this whole situation is not much of a stretch as people are making. I wish he’d grow up like all of you. He talks the talk of wanting to be a husband and father. He paints himself as a family man. Which yes, he is family oriented. But then he does things like this, which are unfortunately also on brand given his past. Megan, his publicists names I believe, better be getting paid time and half putting out these fires lol.

·  Anonymous said:

Right but this is like barely a scandal. We’re just focused on it and there are some social media comments. So for all those saying he should be seen doing serious things umm he is? For the casual fan his serious image is 100% in tact. And my guess is will stay that way. This will blow over in 48 hours tops. It’s not getting any traction other than gossip corners of the internet. Being seen seriously doesn’t mean living like a monk ffs. He didn’t do anything wrong, y’all just dramatic and judgy.

·  Anonymous said:

I think we can all agree no matter what the reality might be, the optics aren’t great. If him &his friend are trying to get this new project off the ground in DC, and hes being photographed in a burlesque club in NYC in the same vicinity as DC interns, the DAY AFTER giving interviews, the optics are awful. Politicians would be quick to distance themselves from their project and with those hes already met, potentially wouldn’t give him their time again, especially if their interns are involved.

·  Anonymous said:

fans saying he should live his life however he wants-nobody is saying he shouldn't. But people shouldn't be naive enough to think that optics don't matter. They matter a lot.

·  Anonymous said:

If the other interns were there they were smart not to post about it. Like that other anon said I imagine the people in D.C. will not be happy about this I’m sure there are social media rules about how to behave.

·  Anonymous said:

Mark's been to The Box before, he's posted stories from his trips there.

·  Anonymous said:

Some are ok to see a 38 years old man having habits in strip,nightclub and before Playboy party. Good. Some women don't like men like it!Chris or not Chris! I find it perverse,it's all. Frat boys aren't my type of men and great my man isn't like it. And i don't see Chris change when he will be married. There will always be a Mark or an Adam for ask him to go. Scott seems to enjoy trashy club but Zack too so they go as a couple. Maybe am i too prude 😒

·  Anonymous said:

This truly blew up fast. Not a Pats fan, but a few years ago, Edelman hooked up w/ a girl he met out partying & she posted a pic of them in bed the next morning on Snapchat. I’m not saying that Chris hooked up with her, we will never know & honestly it’s no one’s business. But both situations definitely seemed opportunistic, but at least with this one people are holding Chris accountable too. The other girl got slut shamed majorly. Like girls, you don’t have to post everything on social media.

·  Anonymous said:

Even if there were more interns there, even if Mark was there with Chris... if they went with the interns it's still not a good look. They are both near their 40's. It's a no to rang out with 20's, principally in that kind of enviroment that revolves around sex. This could be used to damage his image, his career, this could be used to damage their initiative about the political site. It just take one article or one tweet from a Trump supporter with many followers for that.

·  Anonymous said:

She may or may not have been the only intern with him. She may or may not have ended up with him last night. This time it’s slipped on social media. Imagine all the other times it hasn’t! Disappointed if he’s on the same Leo, Cary Fukunaga and Jake train but are we surprised? Women around his age think differently, and clearly he’s not settling down this minute. Wonder what else would leak. I’ll be here with my tea and popcorn.

·  Anonymous said:

This doesn’t look good, but at the same time I feel bad for this girl and her BF, fellow interns, friends, etc. Suddenly a rabid fan base is combing through their every move trying to play detective. I get the curiosity, I’m curious too, but I know how people overreact. And while most are fine, already people are crossing the line and commenting. Not a kick on you, just kinda crazy the lengths that some go to. I’m so glad I grew up without social media for most of my life.

·  Anonymous said:

don cheadle once saying on a talk show that the cast of the avengers(including chris of course) all went to a burlesque bar in london. ALL of them. it's not a crime...or is it??? and as for that bella chick going wit him?? who the hell wouldn't go if we were invited? good for her.

·  Anonymous said:

I feel that a conveniently timed Dodger video (or photo) is imminent. Or will we go really old school with a video for a sick child? Some sort of distraction from the current (I agree ,totally inappropriate) drama. Thing is that sort of tactic will only work for so long, less and less people will forget each time. While there's no problem visiting a burlesque club,hell I've been myself, it's the company you take to the club that should be more carefully considered. Not a smart move.

·  Anonymous said:

Of course he has pr. But people don’t understand how pr works. He doesn’t clear every private dumb decision with them and ask for professional pr advice. He lives his life (and makes dumb mistakes clearly!) but typically a professional pr team isn’t involved unless it affects him professionally, like blows up into a scandal affecting his image and work. They don’t babysit his private life. We’re all fired up about it on our corner of the internet but we’re not really at a true scandal.

·  Anonymous said:

People were rightfully dragging Cavill for dating a 19 year old.Chris went to a strip/ burlesque club with a young girl (since one woman posted about them on the birthday video we know they were there together) and there are people still thinking this is ok? (Not saying you do mood) He is stupid many times: one for doing it, one for thinking that is ok, one for leaving traces of it.Oh, wait.The girl is the one who left the traces. That remember me of someone else who used to leave proofs behind.

·  Anonymous said:

Ok. I remember when him an Janey broke up, and a few weeks later he was in Houston for the Super Bowl. Him and his friends met some girls at a party, and he invited some of them back to the house with them. Some videos were uploaded. I don’t think this is that different. He went away for a trip, met a girl, and invited her along for the ride. More than likely this is nothing, and this girl is just being opportunistic. He really needs to pick ladies who can use discretion in the future.

·  Anonymous said:

I think this is just an example of how celebrity image works. If you aren’t part of Chris fandom or gossip you have no clue. Just a basic google news search for him right now shows his DC rounds and Captain Marvel tweet. And that’s the image he wants to have (and I think genuinely does to a point). But isolated Instagram pics that don’t fit easily into a narrative are never going to get traction. Sure they’ll always be there because internet, but give it another week and it’ll barely be a blip.

·  Anonymous said:

Chris is this guy who invite strangers during party/games night in his house or girls who his friends and him met to à bar for partying in friend's house(the tmz video after the end of round 1),it's seem to be how he is but he is the guy, in doing that who trust in everybody and after there are these kind of pic/video not flattering in not flattering place. I see some say he is single so he's enjoy it but he did it when he was with JS, her tweet where she was upset to his bf going to stripclub.

·  Anonymous said:

This would not be blowing up if this bella girl had seemed to be in the company of the same friends at the box as she went to NYC with but that is not the case. Mark might have been with them too but why would this rocky lanes person only follow bella's IG and not Mark's too?

·  Anonymous said:

All of this stuff is already on twitter and instagram tagging Chris, Megan and even Josh for some reason...

·  Anonymous said:

Maybe i missed something, but what’s wrong with Chris taking pics in that club or wherever he was & why couldnt the girl(s) put the pic on her ig

·  Anonymous said:

I haven't heard the video but the "my way good friend" comment seems like a joke. Like "this is my very famous friend who I just met and we're already close" And I think that if he denied those girls of taking a picture he'll be criticize, and considering what they work in and those outfits, seems to me like he ows them that little courtesy 🙄 cause

·  Anonymous said:

My phone was acting weirs so I don't know if my last ask got through: this bella girl is in NYC with friends from DC and a guy named doug, who works in DC, and has also met Chris is with her. If you go through their IG stories they spent the day together but she is the only one of them to post from the box something.

·  Anonymous said:

High end club or not, I checked the pic bellanovemberr posted with the women in her stories and their room seems cheap and have holes in the ceiling. It doesn't matter how expensive those places are, I always at least side eye how they treat women. Their employees deserve better and more respect.

·  Anonymous said:

C'mon! It is one of the most exclusive night clubs in NY. I read the reviews of The Box on the web and there’s nothing wrong with attending such a place. It is not absolutamnete a local “hard”. as he quotes a review I found: “It’s definitely not a local hard if any of you are asking, it’s fun, crazy and weird … it totally reflects New York.”

And, maybe, it was the birthday video girl who invited Chris to go there.

·  Anonymous said:

Do you think it’d be weird if Chris hooked up with a 20 year old...I mean look at Leo Dicaprio and his girlfriend

·  Anonymous said:

Some people have serious problems with celebrities (here: Chris), pedestals, and managing their own fantasies and expectations. They build them up up up, and inevitably get SERIOUSLY broken hearted, hurt, and bitter, when the celeb in question obviously fails to live up to them. I mean, how can they? They're human, and almost never actually aware of these expectations. And I wish I could say that these fans are young and inexperienced, but a lot of them are adults, so...

·  Anonymous said:

"Her IG is also followed by Mark Kassen, who is also in New York." Mark followed her the same day she posted that video.

·  Anonymous said:

I'm not naive to think single/married man and other famous actors don't go to those places but how many of them have pics taken there? None. I checked the club and it's a sort of freak show club too and celebs are part of the customers. A Vanity Fair article mentioned some names. But no pics. So it doesn't stick with them. It can be said that it's hipocritical go there and refuse pics but it would be the best decision for his image. Let's bet he will post a pic of Dogder?

·  Anonymous said:

Recently I came across this Don Cheadle interview on Seth Meyers, where he talked about him,Evans,RDJ,Hemsworth & Renner going to Burlesque club in London & nobody recognising them on street so I guess they all are into this kind of entertainment but only this guy is dumb enough to take pics

·      Anonymous said:

That girl’s comment about SSH made me laugh! Hope he had fun at that burlesque bar! Establishments like those are sooo nice.

                                                                                                                                 ·      Anonymous said:                                                 

The fact his boyfriend(ex now) deleted all the pics of her means himself discovered how is she is: at the same time she was dating him she doesn't have qualms to touch too much a man who has the double of his age, play like she said and pursue him in NY in a burlesque show, that imply naked women and alcohol when he was in far away of her. She didn't do all the things without have something in mind. She lost her boyfriend for have the attention of Chris for few hours. Well play girl.      

·     Anonymous said: 

I don’t think that one who makes a happy birthday video like this to a girl for her twenties, surprising her age so young, then he decides to have fun with a girl of the same age or little more.

#twiddledigest

[cloveroctobers]

HENRIK LILJENQUIST—

IG info/Bio: @/adventuresbyhenrik | 53.1k followers — “imma wild boi🌿🌏🧗 | happily taken👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

23 (24) years old

Parents are both Swedish and only speak Swedish, leaving henrik to also become fluent

His father Halvi is a pilot

His mother Lova is a race car driver

Siblings? Probably a brother, named Jahan & younger by two or three years + they get along quite well

Born & raised in Isle of Wight, England + loves it there & thinks it’s the best place for him to live, it’s his own private island in his mind plus he’s always finding something to do. He stays active

Climbing & wilderness survival instructor, he gets to talk as much as he wants while also teaching people AND all while being active! Sounds like the perfect job for him

Probably developed ADHD around his pre-teen age, leaving his parents to find him something he enjoys + can slow down and focus on

used to be on meds for it

Was well-known in high school, probably in the yearbook club since he was able to run around & get to know people but was kinda shit at knowing the functions of a camera

His selfie game has gotten a lot better now but he mostly posts anything but his face. You’ll see more of his face on his stories & location shots on his feed

Feels his hair is his best physical feature & his prized possession, would never THINK about cutting it. Even just a trim is a bit much for him

Always tries to be positive but at the same time can be condescending since he sometimes won’t pick his words wisely ex.) when he gave MC a backhanded “compliment” about makeup, being active, + wanting them to “think of others ” feelings — just because someone is opposite from you doesn’t mean you have to shit on the way they carry themselves...that’s my issue with him

maybe he’s a Taurus?

Loves fall & spring, more so fall since that’s when the weather feels nicest to him plus allergy season is a REAL bitch

The guy’s real Adventurous & always managing to find something to do. If you’re ever bored just hit him up, he has plenty of recommendations 

Family owns a cottage & he’s the one who goes out there more than his own family does! “You should just sell it to me at this point!” He tells his parents over dinner often & it is strongly considered

Has five birds & a husky, when he goes on road trips they’re always with him. Which can get a little hectic at times but they’re his family, he’s a, “birdog dad”

BLAKE secretly dislikes them all, feeling like they take up space sometimes (especially when she wants to cuddle) but she deals with it since she cares for the guy — yes, they’re still dating

She’s been convincing him to cut a few inches off of his hair which he took like a slap in the face, “that’s like me asking you to quit speaking up for humans!” “No, no it’s not.”

They’re polar opposites with flaws which causes disagreements between the two of them by putting each other in their places but they learn to compromise? (*insert eartha Kitt gif laughing here*] if they want this to work

His mother seems to be the only one who dislikes blake (she strongly feels he should have bought MC back home...that’s right she watched the show from time to time. Not always since she doesn’t care for reality tv but her friends encouraged her to watch bits and pieces) while his dad and brother approve

It is tense when Blake and his mom are in the same room which makes Henrik sad since he believes Blake deserves a chance. He took a chance on her and it seems to be going pretty well so why couldn’t his mother just be happy for him like the rest of the family is?

Henrik loves his low-maintenance girls who are open to trying new things with him, Blake is usually down most of the time but she likes her personal space too..which henrik struggles to understand

He wants her to live with him, he’s sure his parents will let him have the cottage if Blake decides to live with him but Blake loves her freedom in Kingston

It’s hidden but I feel like he might be one of those guys that feels like “a woman should follow a man” since that’s what his father installed into his boys— which failed because his wife isn’t just a housewife, she has goals and went after them

I feel like Blake turns to social media almost always to post about her feelings (I can’t remember what I picked the first time around as my occupation but as I’m currently playing I picked human rights campaigner so) but it’s mostly subtle shade & it always goes recognized by fans which brings drama between her, mc x Bobby

Henrik jumps in because what kind of guy would he be if he didn’t have his gf’s back? Doesn’t care for the drama but he & Bobby usually said slick shit to each other in the villa, it’s safe to say they’re not really friends but they’re not enemies either that’s mostly between their gf/wife

Henrik doesn’t care enough about Bobby to dislike him but he won’t put up with his shit any longer and what easier way to do that than online? He feels like they can settle this with a phone call but Blake & MC aren’t with the shits and don’t want their men speaking to each other

Henrik & Bobby eventually have a chat in secret anyways

Henrik warns Blake that this can effect her job status if she doesn’t calm down since she uses social media for her cause

She usually knows when to stop but can’t help it if it slips out sometimes

They talk it out and move on usually with whatever fun idea henrik may have

Owns a ford bronco from the 90’s that used to be his uncle’s who builds tree houses for a living and is still running, a jeep gladitor, or some sort of pickup truck

Knows how to make the best apricot jam

All about saving the bees

Loves animals, probably on his journey to veganism if he’s not already there

We all know this fucking guy likes eating M0sS

“Embarrassing fact” but uh big fan of twilight, feels like Seth Clearwater and him are meant to be best buds but he also stans the Volturi 😷

Him and Lucas of course remained the best of mates, since they live 2 hrs away from each other and are always busy living their lives they always have to plan out when they can hangout but that fails 60% of the time when henrik pops up at Lucas’ job or at his flat not giving him a choice but to hang out

They’re always vacationing together too? Sure Henrik is his own version of low-key while Lucas likes a bit of luxury...they still find a balance to just have a good time regardless if they live different lifestyles...they’re basically married

Always texting if they’re not hanging out, henrik with his memes that Lucas doesn’t understand & Lucas just checking in on henrik’s well being which leads the conversation to many topics

He’s actually cool with Gary now? They like/comment on each other’s posts & even text here and there

Even ran into Rocco once on a road trip, that was interesting but when life gives you lemons...we’ll just say that

Even him and Ibrahim share recommendations through text or DM’s which is nice! Henrik is always down for friends even tho they’re not like his personal friends (except for Lucas, he fits into his criteria)

Most of his work is physical and talking but he goes the extra mile by hiking every Sunday either with his friends, Blake, or family — he’s genuinely likes being one with nature

If he’s at the cottage, he’s always outside, chopping extra wood, making sure the yard looks like it belongs on a magazine, or takes the boat out on lake to nap since he doesn’t like to fish as much anymore

Currently trying to grow strawberries but some animal keeps eating them :/

Adores adventure time, the x-files, bobs burgers + animal planet, and travel channels—like he’s a real dad

If he could shower outside everyday, he would, it’s such a freeing experience to him

His outings consist of being in the woods 24/7 so in his mind when he brings Blake out there with him, it’s a version of a date, whenever they spend time together is a date to him, which she has to remind him that she wants to do something different like getting dressed up every now and then + go out to dinner which he HATES but he’ll do his best to please her, as long as the restaurant is more earthy than snobby he’s okay

100% would survive the apocalypse, he knows how to make due with what he’s got, he’s always been that way

Enjoys rom-com’s so he’ll laugh at how cringe they are but still enjoy it, indie films, ALITA was the best film of 2019 to him & currently his fav film is, “the call of the wild” with Harrison Ford

His favorite films ever are Indiana Jones, Lara Coft: Tomb raider, Terminator, and I am legend

Aliens ARE real, they’re out there and he’ll be part of the reason they’ve been exposed

I feel like he wanted to be an astronaut growing up but then realized he’d be a confined space for long periods of time and said cancel that shit lol + he isn’t the greatest at science. History? He did real well in that subject

I think he loves Lorde, listens to Bon Iver—especially on early morning commutes to work, Rex Orange County, Omar Apollo, Joji, the nbhd, the driver era, kid cudi...yktfv

Celeb crushes?/types: The main girls from Charlie’s angels 2019, Alexa PenaVega... “you know Carmen from spy kids?” Diana silvers, Dove Cameron, JAMIE CHUNG, & VANESSA HUDGENS

Anthem = Wallows, “OK”

#litg #litg2 #litg s2 #litg henrik #litg au #litg headcanon #litg headcanons #litg Blake #litg Lucas #litg bobby #litg mc #edited cause I wasn’t aware the mans was actually Swedish oops