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#i used to have an irl friend who i talked to all the time but she moved on from me the second i wasn't useful anymore
angelsrcute · 7 hours
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7 WEEKS AND 3 DAYS. 𝜗𝜚
(´∀`*)ε` ) ౨ৎ N–sfw content !! ; Dom!Scaramouche + Sub!FReader ➜ cws: angsty, toxic relationship, asshole scara, abuse, one sided love(?), kitchen sex, getting ghosted, unprotected sex, raw sex, manipulation, reader gets pregnant. ᡴꪫ‎
꒰ † ੭‎ — I do not condone these actions irl, this mostly shows how the reader is in a toxic relationship but can't get out of it. Also this is my first time done this type of a lyric fanfic!!
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Scaramouche, who wouldn't know him? He was a popular guy. Though he wasn't a nice guy, a delinquent. Had the worst friend group, and slept around a lot. Any girl would die to have a night with him. So what happens when he starts hanging around you? You brushed it off thinking he just wanted to have a good fuck with you. All your friends had warned you about him, how bad he was. You mostly ignored him. Detentions and parent calls, very normal for him, not like his parents cared. Doing drugs, partying, and bullying sometimes.
All my friends say "fuck you".
But could you ignore his sweet words? holding your hand as you two watched the stars. How could you ignore his promises as he kisses the back of your hand, you of course fell in love with him. Hands on your waist as you sat on his lap, your arms wrapped around his neck. The kiss was passionate, not like some low effort kiss. Oh, how much you loved this man. That night you confessed to him, his face brightening up as he landed more kisses to your face. Laughing in his arms till your stomach hurt.
But I can't help but love you.
You let him into your house, even gave him a spare key. Went on dates, you forgot what everyone said about him. This is true love, he was nothing like the rumours. Daily texts and phone calls, missing each other even though you two meet daily. He even opened up to you, about his family. But once you both slept together, things started to change. You felt like he was spending less time with you. You thought it was because of how busy he was, you'd always stay awake at night, waiting for him to come back. You were so worried. He'd see your texts very late, whenever you asked to go out with him, he'd always make an excuse.
And even though you ran me out dry.
When he'd come home drunk, he'd sometimes hurt you, calling you a possessive bitch for questioning him so much. But would still apologise to you with tears in his eyes, promising he wouldn't do it again, cradling you like some child who's scared. You'd forgive him at the end, maybe he just had a bad day or was in a bad mood, it's alright, everyone has those types of days. It'd still happen, everytime. He got jealous very easily too, and wouldn't let you talk to other guys. Maybe now you're seeing his true colours, but he cherishes you so much, right?
"Fuck, Y/N, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I swear this won't happen again, don't be scared okay? please."
I still think you're a decent guy, Why?
Hands wrapping around your waist as he leaves trails of kisses on your skin. Bending you over the kitchen counter, “Forget the food, sweetheart. Let me make it up to you.” His cock thrusting into your cunt, it hurt, but you stayed quiet. He was never gentle with you, always leaving bruises. He shoots his load in your cunt, making you all warm and dumb.
On the rare days that he visited you, it would always lead to sex. You wonder if he sees you as nothing but an object. Silly thoughts, he's just showing you his love.
I should've caught him by his last name
You were pregnant, what a happy news. Maybe this will fix your relationship? You hoped so, desperately wanted him to look at you with the same eyes he once used to. Scaramouche never replied to you nor picked up your calls. Had he ghosted you? no this wasn't supposed to happen, he's just busy, right?
Tears fell from your eyes as you waited for your husband to come back, which he never did. Ah, what a dumb fucker you are, of course this was all a game. He didn't want to love a single person, he just wanted to have relief. What a shame your kid would never be able to see his father. Would he look just like scaramouche? You dreaded the thought. Your eyes fell upon a knife on the kitchen counter, maybe this is for the best.
You still believed that scaramouche loved you, at least you did, every moment.
It's been seven weeks and three days.
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Concept Cards??? + Vignette Ideas
We really need twst hobby cards to come out eventually (Read As: I want a card where Cater gets to skateboard lmao) But like...
Riddle - Tending the Garden: His vignette is about trying out new hobbies, but needing to start slow, so rather than just pruning the rosebushes he tries to grow his own plants for tea because it seems manageable/maybe growing an herb garden on his windowsill bc he again, needs to start small and manageable so his schedule isn't thrown off and he doesn't feel like he's sacrificing academics for leisure
Trey - Old Habits: His vignette is basically him and Deuce talking until Deuce brings up he has a toothache. We basically get to see Trey take a deep dive into dentistry and the extent of his knowledge because he manages to identify the issue and solve it, and it's revealed that when he's bored of doing school work and too tired to bake he just loves to study dentistry best he can without schooling on the matter.
Cater - ???: His vignette is him leaving a clone at Heartslaybul so he can escape for a bit and clear his mind while on his skateboard because things were getting too tense for him and he's got nobody he trusts to confide in. We get to see him relax and cheer up while he's out. Alternatively, his vignette could be more about running out of paint because he's trying to customize his skateboard.
Deuce - They're Called What?: In which Deuce's friends find out about gremlin bells and gift them to him. (Gremlin bells are something motorcyclists use IRL, the legend is that someone used bells to scare away malicious spirits on the road, so when someone buys them bells they but them on the motorcycle as basically a reminder to be safe, but obviously in this case it would be for his blastcycle)
Ace - Just a Little Glitter: Ace gets a kick out of pulling pranks on people anonymously around the dorm because his brother told him about a prank he pulled in his time there and sent him a few small vials of glitter to help spice it up. Ace ends up mixing glitter in with someone's conditioner, or puts some between couch cushions so when someone sits down it makes the glitter fly up. There is a possibility for Riddle clocking him as the person who's done it, (likely with evidence from Cater), and instead of getting him in outright trouble, he tells him that the couch needs to be cleaned by hand, each piece of glitter meticulously picked up to get thrown out.
Leona - Once The Greatest: His vignette is about how he used to spar and train with his older brother and the general of the royal army, and how at one point he was able to disarm anyone in less than a minute, despite having been so young and not using magic to help him. Once he fell into depression he never really got back into it. (Maybe he sees Silver and Sebek sparring and calls out an error they've made?? IDK) Alternatively Prince's Gambit: totally not homoerotic at all ongoing chess game he has with Malleus slkdfhlksdjhflkjsdf
Ruggie - Only if You Get Caught: In which Lilia catches Ruggie stealing snacks from the teacher's lounge. We find out that he's managed to win over the paintings in the hall to not snitch him out to the teachers in exchange for him coming to read to them every once in a while because they are. Incredibly bored, and it lowkey reminds him of reading to his siblings at home. Lilia points out that he hasn't bought his silence yet and Ruggie reluctantly hands over a snack tax.
Jack - I Can't Let it Go: Jack gets devastated when his cactus starts showing signs of dying because he's done everything he can think of to take care of it. He takes it to Jade reluctantly because he knows Jade is botanically inclined and is horrified when Jade cuts it. Jade was actually propagating it, but keeps that to himself. He then explains to Jack that the reason it's rotting is because it's getting too much water and it's in too small of a pot. He gives him instructions on how to fix it and keeps the baby propagated cactus for himself lmao
Azul - GET OUT OF MY CLOSET: In which Floyd finds out Azul enjoys wearing dresses and owns plenty of high quality ones and never wears them in public. It's not until the eel is out of the room that Azul starts fussing over the state his dresses are in and goes to the vanity to start applying make up. He wants to do drag but doesn't have the confidence to do it in public yet.
Alternatively, same title but it's cosplays he and Idia have made but he's too shy to put on.
Jade - You Can't Hide: We Jade goes about collecting the first years information for Azul, we know that he collects info on: Home countries, Hobbies, Tastes, Least favourite foods, Worst Subjects and a catalogue of the students' Magicam accounts, including private or secret accounts. This vignette would be about a random first year who appears to have no Magicam account and is generally difficult to read. I feel like we would get to the point where Jade goes to the nurses office just to look through files for information he can relay to Azul. (I may be thinking about one of my OCs lmaooo)
Floyd - You Can't Run: We learn more about Floyd's shoe collection and the story behind a certain pair. We find out that at walking boot camp some shithead made fun of Jade. Since they were so confident in their ability to walk, Floyd took their shoes and essentially kidnapped them to leave them on a bed of pine needles so they would have to walk back to camp barefoot, letting them know they got off easy for coming after his brother.
Kalim - My Mom Taught Me!: Kalim invites the prefect to his dorm so he can give them henna on their hands, after having dealt with Jamil's OB. He gets to talk about how it was one of the things he remembers from early on in his life, and it was relatively easy to do. He does his siblings henna too. He ends up explaining how henna on the hands is meant to bring the prefect good luck and keep them safe. We find out after that everyone in his dorm got henna as well because he can't cast protective magic for that many people, so he can at least try with symbolism
Jamil - No Guarantees: Floyd approaches Jamil to ask him if he can teach him to dance a genre Jamil has NO experience with, but his insistence and Jamil's own interest get the best of him and he promises he'll try to find a way to learn it so he can teach Floyd. He ends up learning the basics + a little more essentially overnight and has a loose idea of how to teach Floyd, only for Floyd to tell him he doesn't want to learn anymore.
Vil - Wrong Notebook: Vil doesn't realize until he's gotten to class that he grabbed the wrong notebook off his desk before he left that morning. Rook inquires if he grabbed his design sketchbook instead, knowing full well he did, but just wants a chance to look at the most recent designs. Vil doesn't really care, he's mostly mad at himself for grabbing that instead of history notebook. Rook ends up sliding Vil the notebook he was missing, saying that he noticed that Vil's bag looked a few grams off weight or some shit and he went back to grab it.
Rook - It's Nothing Sinister: A two for one, Malleus can feel someone watching him from far away, and ends up confronting Rook. Rook explains while he does have a tendency to watch those he finds beautiful, this is different; he needed to keep looking at Malleus in order to accurately describe his beauty in the form of poetry. It's only at that point that Malleus sees the simple notebook Rook has, and asks to see it. Rook hands it over proudly, and Malleus can see that there are actually...multiple poems about him, about Leona, about the Leech twins, etc. etc. and finds it entertaining, asking Rook if he may make a duplicate so he can show Lilia.
Epel - Harder Than It Looks: We get to see Epel apple carving again. Ruggie and Jack approach him, and Ruggie asks him if he actually manages to turn a profit on it. Epel explains that back home, basic preservation magic is used, so tourists tend to find them cool and they can charge more for it. Ruggie asks if he can teach him, and Epel warns him that it's harder than it looks, handing him an apple. Ruggie just thanks him and says something's come up, pretending to look at his phone and walks away with a free apple, (Epel confused bc Ruggie could have just Asked for a snack), but Jack expresses interest as well. Jack tries to do it, (partially because he feels bad Ruggie just walked away), but trying to hold the apple securely enough to cut into it without the knife slipping makes him squish the apple too much, the sides kinda mushy and bruised. He and Jack get to have a laugh about it.
Idia - DON'T COME IN: In which Ortho knocks at the door and Idia panics because he is 110% in magic girl cosplay lmao Ortho ends up coming in and gets a giggle out of it because Idia is basically cosplaying young Epel's meemaw (and they both know he is). The worst part is the fact Muscle Red ends up hearing about it over the mic.
Ortho - I Don't Really Know...: Ortho realizes that he doesn't really have any of his own hobbies, all of them have been influenced by Idia, and film club is fun, but it's not a hobby. The first years each present him with different ideas for a hobby he can pick up. He has a blast, but ultimately still feels conflicted about enjoying a hobby his brother won't partake in. The first years start to argue over which hobby Ortho should join them in when Ortho notices Trey through the Heartslaybul windows, (the first years are outside), and the first years end up seeing him enjoying himself with Trey, who not only mitigated Ortho's worries but managed to take on a Different 'big brother' role. Also baking is all ratios and proportions and chemistry, and Ortho finds those fun and easy, and gets invested quickly.
Malleus - I've Run Out Of Ink: Malleus does calligraphy when he's journaling and you cannot change my mind on either of those fronts. The vignette is him just going to Sam's shop, and someone ends up snapping a photo of him at the counter, finding it funny that The Malleus Draconia looks like he's going grocery shopping. Lilia ends up seeing the post and asking Malleus why he didn't just ask him for more ink, and Malleus admits he wanted to potentially run into the Child of Man just so he could pay for their groceries because of a modern romance story he read recently.
Lilia - It's Called Power Clashing: Vil finds Lilia's alternate Magicam and sees that grandpa is actually doing pretty well as a fashion influencer, with power clashing as his signature style. (AKA wearing patterns on patterns that are unconventional). Vil has Mixed Feelings on the style, but with another photoshoot coming up where he knows Neige will be his rival, he needs something to really set him apart and reluctantly asks Lilia if he would be willing to help him design a power clash outfit. And it's Vil so of course he kills it in the outfit Lilia suggests.
Silver - One Day They'll Work: Cater sees Silver at Sam's shop - Silver's buying energy drinks and Cater is getting cold brew kdfjhlskdjfhkljsdf but once they get to the counter, Silver asks Sam if he can have a box from behind him. Cater finds out that Silver collects prisms. He collects them so in the rare event there's sun in Diasomnia, his room is covered in rainbows and he gets to wake up in it, making him happy. Cater asks if it's ever been sunny in Diasomnia, and Silver admits it hasn't since he's been there, but he has faith that there will be sun there one day because he dreamt about it.
Sebek - IT'S NOT CHILDISH: Silver stops by Sebek's room before bed at some point, only to find him putting Malleus stickers into a notebook. Before he can even say anything, Sebek is defending himself, flustered and upset because he didn't say Silver could come in, (Silver is used to doing the courtesy knock and then walking in, especially because Sebek tends to just Bust into Silver's room), and goes off on saying that any media with Malleus cannot be considered childish, even if that media happens to be stickers. Silver swears not to tell anyone, but still finds Sebek's defensiveness amusing
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHORT POST (like less than 100 words) SLDKJFHLSJDFHLKSDJF love y'all slkfhldsjhflkjsdf
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pseudophan · 4 hours
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hi nora long time lurker first time asker here. i just have to say this to someone sorry. lately ive been temperature taking on my irl friends about dnp bc a lot of them used to watch their vids back in the say, and literally 100% of the time, the response has been "oh yeah, its crazy that they announced theyre actually together." it really seems like that for people who are not deep in the lore, its a fact that theyre an exclusive couple, and its genuinely always surprising to the people ive talked to that dnp have not actually made a legit announcement that they're together romantically. the levels of nuance here make me feel unhinged.
people really do just overthink things a lot in fandom, which i suppose makes sense. if you spend most or all of your time fixated on one topic you're bound to second guess things even when said things are blatantly obvious to an outsider. this was basically the realisation i had years ago when i just kinda went. oh this is all stupid. of course they're together lol. occam's razor really is underutilised in fandom circles
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eebie · 7 months
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meteor shenanigans are the most fun to write
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trans-axolotl · 5 months
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have not left bed today + found out another friend got locked up + want to beat up every single adult that saw what was happening to me and looked away or actively made it worse
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casualhedonists · 3 months
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DATING IS SO HARD WTF
#vent to follow in the tags lmao#like. what????#people!!! chill the fuck out!!#i had some dude unmatch with me bc i didn’t respond to him YESTERDAY#and like it’s not that big of a deal we’d only just matched but like?? patience is a fucking virtue?? and i have a life?#he was all like come back :((( then two minutes later he was like ok sorry for bothering you bye and then LEFT#like. fine if you do that but the message?? what??#anyway it came at a bad time bc. a bitch is already in crisis rn#cause i kinda feel like my irl friends hate me for some reason and i already feel bad that i’ve been so busy i’ve not been able to#talk to them that much#and i was supposed to go on a trip with my friend but that’s been postponed (not her fault or mine)#and my car still won’t start. we tried to jump it today and it didn’t do anything#anyway i’m like rapid cycling through major emotions and it’s like mimi chill the fuck out#and listening to way too much phoebe bridgers i know the end#also i’m in crisis bc i’ve made up with like. my oldest friend who used to have a crush on me and when i told him i preferred girls he like#stopped talking to me for a while#that was years ago and now we’re slowly becoming friends again but i feel so much guilt over it for no reason#and i get into avoidant episodes as a coping mechanism and like. i feel like im going into one atp#okay okay vent over im okay lmaoo#sorry folks hope your days going better than mine <3#。・:*˚:✧。 mimi speaks!
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astrxealis · 7 months
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my favorite teacher plays dnd and bg3 do you know how crazy that is to me
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#LOTS OF THOUGHTS HII GOOD NOON TODAY WAS A REAL FUN DAY#I ALMOST BROKE DOWN AND ALSO I KINDA VENTED AND G#UH. WHY IS TUMBLR WEIRD AND CLOSING MY POST. ANYWAY!#i did vent to my friends abt annoying classmates (aka annoying ppl who are irresponsible) that bring me and my friends and groups grades#down. and yeah. but i bonded a lot w various frienda and and and fun day and and and I LEARN ^^ AND#things are quite bad sometimes but sometimes they aren't actually that bad and idk school is just really fun i'm almost sad#just really happy with where i am rn and my friends are noticing too sniffs ..... noticing how i'm talking more or whatnot#and more comfy and whatnot and hey it did take like. quite a while. but still! just. really happy#bcs this Quite A While was either basically immediate but in the making (two friends) or gradual but always getting there (group in class)#and etc !!! like hey maybe some friends online or irl i am not talking to as much atm but there's the comfort that we still greatly care#for wach other. and whatnot. and there's just a lot and damn if i gave up this wouldn't be happening lol my point is things do get better#and a lot of it tbh is on how you improve and see things (???) idk but damn i'm just rlly proud of myself#I COULD STILL DO BETTER mbut idk all of this is me and im just rlly secure in that and i have been since the longest time ngl. im amazing#yeehaw ANYWAYYYYFGEGKR BG3 I STARTED A DARK URGE RUN LAST NIGHT YE GODS ITS A BIT SCARY TO ME BUT I LOVE THE BLOOD#im trying to fight against it bcs im using my main tav but boom make him a durge guy so ^_^
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sludgeguzzler · 8 months
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man. i changed so much these past years
#im different from last years me who was different from 2021 me who was different from 2020 me and so on and so forth#it feels kinda weird thinking about it bc i went through *so much stuff*#all of it in just the past 4 years... insane#i found out i was trans. i went on lockdown. i started posting my art online. i made online friends.#i went through three different relationships. every single one of them changed me forever.#i started writing. i finished middle school. i read homestuck. i used discord everyday for 2 years.#i found my personal sense of style. i started going tk school again. i made friends irl. i lost all the online friends i had.#(thay wasnt bc of any scandal i just left the friendgroup and then started to slowly interact more with ppl irl#whi sorta made my online interactions dwindle especially one-on-one interactions#i think i feel better like this go be honest with you. the connections feel stronger and i feel closer to the friends ive made#not saying i dont like the people i know and befriended here just saying that not being chronically online anymore really changed how i#go through with internet interactions)#damn. really feeling the passage of time now.#also this is not a sad reminiscent post im *really* glad im in the place i am in life right now#i have a qpp i have an irl friendgrouo that i feel 100% comfortable with for the first time in my life im doing ok at school#i have a vision for my future my relationship with my parents is sooo much better#idk man. compare that with 14 year old me eating alone at school bc i was too scared to talk with the other people on my class and like.#yeah man. im doing a lot better#i DO have to update my art blog though. its been too long sincd i posted anything#talk
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tariah23 · 1 month
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Hi I hope this question makes sense but how would I call out friends use of what might be aave? Im worried about being wrong and it not being aave/sounding like a white knight but I dont want to ignore it.
Hi! And no, you’re fine. If you’re not black, it’s always best to look up terms and listen to what black people say to begin with, that’s the most important thing and if you’ve seen black people talk about a specific term that you might recognize as being aave, simply let your friends know that they shouldn’t really be using such terms in the first place since at this point, viewed as antiblack and micro aggressive because Black people have grown tired of having to talk about this same problem over and over again. Especially when they use such terms directed at Black people. If they continue to use the terms despite being told not to, then you already know what they are.
#I won’t deem everyone who isn’t black a full blown racist for continuing to use aave but it does show that they don’t respect us at all#and that being merely told about how harmful and uncomfortable it is for them to continue on using them while ignoring what black#people are always saying about such topics… well 🗿#meh#anonymous#tkf replies#what can you do#people still make fun of how black peoples talk but as soon as our terms go viral and turned into stupid internet slang all of a sudden#there are white kids and nbs from the suburbs and across the world running them into the ground and misusing them like hell#and in the same manner#they don’t even realize that they just end up embarrassing themselves in the same way old people try to act ‘hip’ and with the times by#using slang#it’s very…#this is literally how it looks to black people whenever nbs and white folks use it#it’s just very uncomfortable#and it’s even worse when you have them explaining terms and adding their own twists and definitions to terms that they never understood to#begin with#it’s rather unsightly lol#makes me cringe#sometimes I don’t even say shit anymore because I’d see mutuals use aave and I’d go ‘um…. 🧍🏾‍♀️?’ like it’s so…#it always comes back to nbs and whites thinking that the way that black people talk is “’funny’ and when they want to act tough irl or over#the internet they start throwing out all sorts of aave terms like a baby learning it’s first words#the most incomprehensible string of words pulled together in hopes of appearing either ‘cool’ or ‘intimidating’#it’s… 👎🏾#funny thing is#the lot of these people don’t even have black friends or talk to black ppl in rl#a lot of them act like they’re afraid of us for some reason and would pull a 60’s white woman crossing the street so fast but be on the#internet talking about some ‘don’t get caught lackin!’ like oh brother#you get how this sounds right 😭!? it’s ridiculous
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scattered-winter · 9 months
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horrifying self recognition through the other aside this has been an actually not terrible start to The Family Gathering tbh
#my cousin who i havent really seen in a while came up to me and asked abt my pronouns because i came out to the fam a while ago#and he didnt really remember what id said (which. fair. its a big family w lots of things to remember)#and so he asked what my pronouns were and i told him and he promised that if he ever messed up i needed to make him#do like 5 or 10 pushups lmao#and ngl. its the sweetest thing anyone in this family has ever said to me abt that#everyone else has kinda just. moved on. and either forgotten that im not a girl or purposefully ignoring it.#and idk maybe i should stand up for myself a little more but ive been practically a doormat all my life#and idk. its hard using my voice and establishing boundaries when ive let ppl bulldoze over me for almost 20 years.#sigh. anyway.#im gonna be thinking about that all day tbh it was genuinely so sweet#and i am also being consumed by The Loneliness again <3#just. i want someone to just talk to about all this??? someone who isnt in my family because they all have stakes in it too?????#we're all grieving. i aint special.#i just want to talk to someone about it in person so they can hold my hand while i cry myself to sleep because ngl#thats what it looks like we're doing tonight#im just. tired of feeling alone in this enormous family where it seems like im the only odd man out#and also ykw the Not Having Any Irl Friends loneliness too. thats also pretty significant.#not saying my internet friends arent great i love yall so so so much but it has just been .#a really really long time since ive had a good cry n hug session w someone.#sigh. im tired i need to go to bed#winter speaks#personal
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icewindandboringhorror · 10 months
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me everytime I am preparing a meal with multiple elements I have to balance so they all finish cooking at the same time: Wow this is just like the 2009 hit Nintendo Wii game 'Food Network: Cook Or Be Cooked'
#or like if I'm making two things and one finishes cooking before the other and has to sit there and get cold#in my brain it's always like 'tsk tsk.. they would deduct points from my score for that' hjhjb#one of those instances of game mechanics imprinting onto your brain. kind of like imagining sims interaction moodlets in irl conversations#i LOVE the game though it's so fun. I've never even heard of it before I just found it by the dumpster in a box of other old wii#games someone was apparently discarding and picked it up due to my interest in cooking shows and stuff#I like having to time things and all the little actions you can do. though sad that there's so little recipes#you can unlock the whole game in like a day or something. I think if I had more time and social energy to actually talk in forums or be par#of a 'community' - I think looking into the type of stuff where people mod wii games and etc. would be very very cool#Wii is my favorite console and so much of the time I am always like 'grrr.. they dont make new games.. and this one game is very cool#but imagine if these 5 improvments were made to it! it would be SO much cooler!' etc.#Like being able to download new custom recipes/levels for Cook or Be Cooked lol#Modding wii sports resort the same way that some people mod skyrim and build entirely new games out of it#with new quests and etc. Like just.. create your own sports.. RPG mode.. use the already existing archery assets and etc. to have a mode#where you can just free roam around the map shooting at enemies and stuff ghhjbjh#WHICH I WOULD LOVE DEARLY..#I dont realyl like combat in games but idk I'd make an exception.. whatever.. I just want to play more in the Wii World#I have the soul of one of those people who builds all their own computers and 3D prints custom frames to transplant their 3DS into and#has like all special 'hacked' phones and wii mods and customizes everything and etc. etc. like.. 100% my exact personality and preferences#HOWEVER I just simply do not have the money or physical energy/time to get onto projects like that#The best I can hope for is one day having a close friend who does that so I can maybe use their 3D printer every once in a while or we both#collaborate on some wii modding project or etc. but I just couldn't on my own.. I already have too much stuff going on.. Have to make#compromises due to lack of money + low energy + busy. Like I could never build my own phone. I could save up for a teracube phone#or something so it's better and more repairable than all these dumbass modern phones you cant even take the backs off of. but that's probab#y the best I could do lol. ANYWAY.. Especially wii customization. I could get really into that.. I saw a picture one time of someone who#made like a semi transparent case for theirs kind of like the famous purplish see through gameboy color case but for a wii.. which is.. aAA#yearning crying sobbing etc. etc. so on and so forth
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compacflt · 1 year
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dare i ask what are mav's many hypotheses about ice?
anyway i am so obsessed with how slider sees maverick. in general i really enjoy the unreliable narration in all of your fics. maverick as ice sees him, ice as maverick sees him, maverick as slider sees him, slider overhearing their phone call and seeing a completely different maverick.
death of the author baby. you decide.
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nerdsandbabyteeth · 1 year
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Constantly trapped between I can’t wait to live away from my family and spend more time alone because I feel like my thoughts will have time to settle and I will lose my mind if I live alone because I am starting to lose a sense of self this week simply because two of my friends are away and I don’t speak to anyone much in school.
#noggin time#I also cannot stand the fact that people I know follow me online or people I respect even#because I have a constant nagging feeling I’m completely and utterly embarrassing I see people posting abt things in their life and like#venting or whatever and I could never do that I think bc so many people follow me that I see face to face#I mean I’m doing this right now but tumblr is it’s own beast I have like one person I know irl on here I think#also it’s not like I have no friends I still talk to teachers and other people but it’s my best friend who I meet every morning and my new#friend I made this year who is in all the same free periods as me and also likes talking about tv shows so it’s like two people I talktomost#if this were a therapy session which it now is I would trace back my feeling of pure unfiltered embarrassment at simply being online back to#when I used framecast when I was like 9 and I drew a character inspired by someone’s oc and they vague posted quite civil abt it like please#don’t copy my ocs guys and I cried about it for hours and hours and I’ve never been the same since not to sound dramatic but it’s true#I delete Instagram every 3 days because it starts to make me feel physically unwell and then I re-download it because I miss everyone#I didnr consider i might have some sort of mental issues other than autism until recently because I just convinced myself this isn’t a prope#r issue I should just get over it but at this point it’s violently affecting my moods when I’m not immediately talking to anyone
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n0ct0urn1quet · 1 year
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god. i hate socializing and i hate talking to people . why cant i just look at someone i wanna be friends with and go hey ur cool let's be friends now
#i need . Friends. Desperately#but also i hate. HATE talkikign to people because i never have like. naything to talk about. ever#im in a gc with like ~7 other ppl who i was irl friends with at one point#and GOD. i wanna talk to all of them again#one of them reached out to me a while back n she and i talked but i just didnt. know. what to say#i am so used to talking to my gf and my best friend who ive known for several YEARS that when i try to talk to someone new#or someone i havent spoken to in a while im just like . okay. i have to act normal and not weird#i cant keysmash in response to everything they say i actually have to say WORDS. or else theyll be like . huh#and then it gets to a point where im just like ogh i dont know what eo even say anymore but i wanna keep this conversation Going#but then i just dont . say anything. and they dont say anything. and we go silent again for another couple months#recently lso i noticed one of my old old internet friends started being online on discord again#and i wa lsike oh my gOD its THEM!!!!!! i havent talked to them in like. 2 ish years? maybe longer?#but. idk. i didnt reach out to them. bc i was like. what if they dont remember me#thats another thing i feel like i come across old internet friends on here sometimes on tumblr and im just like oh i remember you but#ive switched accounts and changed usernames so many different times that im just like. oh. you probably dont remember me#and even if i told you who i was. that i was so-and-so from 4 years ago. you wouldn't remember me. so oh well!!!!!#so now im just . sitting here <33 i want friends but making them is hard and keeping them is even harder . dies
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diabolicjoy · 1 year
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#warning there’s too many typos but who cares#i’m always complaining to myself in my head about how me & my best friend have grown apart#we’ve spent all out teenage years doing everything together even though we weren’t from the same school#we’d still find ways to see each other if not every day then at least every month#& since she started college & then a relationship & then work we’ve just grown apart & it was embarrassing for me really because i was alwa#ys the depressed never busy always alone type & i always ended up felt clingy when asking to hang out#feeling*#specially because she’s a social butterfly & i’m the one who has social anxiety lol but it was always reassuring to have her by my side#during these social events#then the pandemic happened & after things went back to normal.. i can actually count on my finger how many times we’ve seen each other irl#also stopped texting each other which is an important detail considering we used to talk every single day#especially because she’s like. literally the only person i feel comfortable opening up abt things i wouldn’t tell anyone#so i just feel isolated & a bit lost in life without her presence in it... but i’m just a very insecure human & always feel like the plans#& little dates & things i come up & plan for us to do is just... super boring to her (or anyone else)#so i stopped trying completely. which is sad because i miss her immensely#but last november i went to a festival with some friends but felt super stressed on the first day but tried to hide it from everyone#because i don’t wanna ruin the whole trip by being moody so i just kept to myself#ended up feeling overwhelmed & on day2 of the festival we txt each other bc she’s gonna be there#so i just spent the entire day2 with her & her partner & we all had such an amazing time... it really revitalized me lol#& everything felt so familiar even though i hadn’t seen her since her bday in may..#& idk i just missed her. i always felt like this lack of talking & seeing each other just meant that they didnt like me as a friend anymore#or that i wasn’t worth keeping around... idk i’m always expecting the worse which is so unfair to the other person#i know she loves me & that life happens#anyway all that to say that i decided to stop being a pussy & stop mopping around#crying abt how i’m alone & friendless. & like. just text them & invite invite them to see a movie or something#idk if it didn’t work our 2 years ago life happens i am trying again#i won’t find someone like them that easily again in life i think
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im-dirtydan · 9 months
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I miss letting Tumblr be my Lil diary. I'm glad to use it more lately.
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