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stevn93 · 25 days

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Not as soon as I anticipated, but we meet yet again old friend. How have you been?? Yeah it's hard to keep up and it's hard to adjust. I saw you are trying to improve though. Me? Let's not talk about that. Fine I can be honest, truth is I still tell people I'm fantastic or it's another day in paradise when the reality is I don't know if I'm OK. So much in my head... I...my wife I'm pretty sure she's joking when she calls me gay, but sometimes I'm not sure, I know I'm not totally straight. I spent 2 years on the down low with a guy and only 2 people that weren't me or him know and one is my wife and that telling was far from great, anyway we were both from religious homes and had to keep everything hidden. And on the note of religion I think it has led to some of my issues. I don't know what I believe, I know what I have been told to believe my whole life, but I don't know what I believe. I was raised in a Seventh Day Adventist home, as was my mother, and her parents and I know my great grandparents were so it's a long standing thing in my family. My friend was from a equally long line of deep south Baptist beliefs. The SDA beliefs are much more strict and holds to the old mosaic law. I was 30 at my first sampling of bacon. Now crazy as it sounds I work for a Christian based non-profit and have been there 4 years now. I am a maintenance technician and also do grounds care. I am on call and we rotate weekends so I work some Saturdays and Fridays after sunset which is a ticket to the bad place. Not that having had relationships with another guy wouldn't also be a reason for that,but sometimes I still have a desire for it. I still have to keep things hidden because it could be grounds for dismissal from my job. My job is super flexible with days off and hours so I can raise my kids and I know nowhere else would be so forgiving to me. I wasn't careful one day and was sighted in the building with my Proud Furry hoodie on(I had gotten diesel fuel on my other it was the one I had in my truck)so that combined with the nail polish has left people suspect. I have to wonder sometimes if my wife believes I'm more gay than straight or if I want something else. She would be the one to know as she knows more about me and my past than my parents, a therapist would have a field day but until then I will have to settle with emptying my mind here. Have spent the last several nights after she goes to sleep sitting on the shower floor for an hour or two and just letting the water rain down. I don't know if it helps but the rain is still too cold for such things. There is so much I don't understand like pronouns and transjender, I was never exposed to things largely due to religious sheltered life. I have finally encountered a person who is non-binary and it's hard to remember to use they/them and people call you out for you and tell you you don't care about others or you would just change, but I was programed to think, act and talk this way for 30 years! Ask a smoker who has smoked 5 years to quit cold turkey. My grandfather on my Dad's side used the N word and did so openly, but his best friend was an old colored gentleman Mr.Milton and every day before he ate his dinner rain shine or hurricane he would take him a hot plate of food. If you didn't know and didn't see you'd thought him a racist white supremacist, but it wasn't the case. People talk about care but are so quick to judge or tell you how you should feel... That's part of why my wife knows things my parents don't. I won't elaborate much but I took a problem to people you were supposed to trust and it went just as I was told it would. So I made changes and because I was young and of such a light build I likely stunted my growth a smidgen and damaged my joints. I don't know why my wife stays when I'm so damaged. I wish I could see what she does or did see. She still spends a lot of time on her phone and I asked her to talk to me yesterday and she didn't put down her phone. Some days are so much more a struggle than others. I'll see you later old friend. Thanks for being here.

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lauriepinkney64 · 1 year

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spiritual injury, the original wound

Created: Sunday, January 29, 2023 7:18 AM

Updated: Sunday, January 29, 2023 8:24 AM

upon meditation and reflection of my current past i found a significnt spiritual wound incurred within the organized religon i was raised.

i was born to a family that were devout members of the sda church. we went to church every week, and attended their church schools, and abode the laws and rules of this church during the week, man head of household, no fun and observance of sabbath from friday sundown to saturday sundown. strict. it relaxed, the fervor, as we aged, and we'd even skip church or sometimes only sabbath school, (sundayschool), sometimes opting to have 'church' outside like at a park, these were by far more spiritual gatherings than any id had in the church building. i could feel source profoundly when outside in nature.

i was baptized at age 12, mostly because my cousin had been, but during the preparation class or classes i felt something significant begin to expand inside., my grandfather was re baptized with me and that moved me more than my own baptism. this feeling has never left me, it is the reason i love to help others, i want to assist the lost i want to comfort the hurt and i want to heal the wounded, this is my purpose.

as i became more myself and grew into teenhood, i began to feel the discord between the church teachings and the words actions and feeling atmousphere in the church family. i saw the judgement of those deemed not og or not falling within the rules of this church, ie wearing makeup and jewelry were discouraged frowned upon , judged and seen as vanity, or divorced, or didnt observe sabbath the right way, or chose to eat meat, sda is largely vegegarian. so many harsh misunderstandings and judgements from a group designated to heal these wounds not inflict them, so much visible obvious hipocrasy, things didnt match up! i was blessed with a youth group leader couple in my 14th year of life. they used the living bible, plain real talk, and introduced me and others to the cs lewis chronicles of narnia, this inflamed my imagination and passion for learning the broader knowing of the universe, these two angels delved into daniel and revelation in a way that was powerfully inspiring and motivating for me to uncover the truth of all spirituality and about myself. this was when i began to peel away from that which i was raised with and began learning things first hand, and i felt such distance between me and church, i felt repelled, i made a cursery attempt to appear connected to church mostly for mom so she'd not worry and i was fearful to admit my lifestyle choices, love women, dont love church.

i felt rejected and judged harshly by my church family, in that subtle way that happens in dynamics like that. i had loved this church, been loyal and devout to the teachings, i had depended on its teachings to help me navigate my life and when i finally understood a truth of myself i found that i was not included as i am, i was deemed unfit or sinful, just being myself, this is not unique to sda, in this era, '70's, almost all organized religon seemed to feel that way, change or we wont accept you, it was invalidated and pronounced a sin, who i am is a sin? the one place i had before found solice, found a home, a community and i wasnt wanted. i was deemed bad. or misguided, judging my self discovery and seeking self understanding as invalid and wrong somehow. blasphemy even.

leaving the church of my youth which had included school and the social contacts i had made, and birth family, i experienced grief, i had no support system anymore and i had to develop my own without their help.

as i aged i found myself identifying with the lesbian community, and found comfort solice acceptance there, and peace within myself about myself. this allowed me some grace to begin the healing journey.

this injury was big and i buried it deep, it makes sense it is foundational and near the last of my 'flies in the ointment'.

years later after trying to make a straight life for the approval of my family and church supports, and having become bulimic and terribly depressed i accepted who i was and came out to her. she guessed before i said it..she also said i was on my own about telling my dad, another cut to the mother wound that i would bury until she was buried. he did not react well. he asked me 'what do you want from me?!" i said i just want to know you still love me, he seemed so angry, like he was taking this personally, as if i did this to him , he told me 'if you are with anyone just dont ever bring them around here', he was furious.

he avoided me and ignored me and basically cut me out for over a year which hurt me so much, mom told me later that she'd finally said something to him, if you don't get over this you are gonna lose her' she stoodup for me, finally!!!

he did come around when i needed a car, he helped me and financed a vw bus combi he had, this helped us regain some communication. it stayed somewhat stilted for awhile then i met patty and my family suddenly became protective, worried i was being used or taken advantage of.

i came to pattys home after a tumultous relationship with a woman with a daughter, i stayed for the kid but had to leave from the abusive behaviors toward me by her mother. patty welcomed me with open arms, she loved me, fed me, held me, allowed me sanctuary to heal. she has been my angel.

my brother even came to sheridan to see that all was copacetic., i was working with her son, she was my employer technically.

she has been integral in my further growth, i was in need of a heavy mother energy and she provided this often without even realizing it. she helped me see my history realistically and gently suggested that my 'close knit family' really wasn't so much, and urged me to have the courage to look at all things honestly, i learned how not to lie to myself, coping skill, and i began a new method of introspection without toxic positivity, it has helped me to heal so much.

#spiritualawakening #spiritualawareness #divine message #shadow work #manifestation #positive energy #oracle #tarot #spiritual development #spiritual

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heauxlycoitus · 1 year

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S1E37. Beth’s Heaux Story: SDA Pastor’s Kid, Marriage, New Lesbian

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE!! I was raised as a Seventh-Day Adventist pastor’s kid, attending SDA schools through college. While I never really bought into it and mostly stopped going to church in my 20s, I didn’t start deconstruction and doing trauma therapy until last year at 42 years old. Through deconstructing and with the help of trauma therapy – which I can’t recommend enough! – I…

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mariacallous · 2 years

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In Sunday’s elections in Bosnia and Herzegovina, according to unofficial exit polls, moderate Bosniak and Croat leaders were set to win seats on the three-member Bosnian presidency, while Bosnian Serb strong-man Milorad Dodik’s right hand and planned successor for the post of Serbian member of the presidency, Zeljka Cvijanovic, will likely become a first woman member of the presidency.

Zeljko Komsic, the current Croat member of the presidency, was set to win a new mandate in the collective head of state after winning more than 70 per cent of the votes, well ahead of the next Croat candidate, Borjana Kristo, according to the unofficial results.

“As things stand now, it is quite clear not only who will be in the Presidency of Bosnia and Herzegovina, but also what the government will look like, at least judging by the structure of those elected to the parliaments,” Komsic told media on Sunday evening.

Denis Becirovic, a candidate of the moderate Social Democratic Party, SDP, was in the lead for the Bosniak post on the presidency. Becirovic, one of three candidates for the post, is in the lead with almost 57 per cent of the votes cast, ahead of the veteran Bosniak leader, Bakir Izetbegovic, candidate of the Party of Democratic Action, SDA.

Since Bosnia gained independence, the SDA has only once not held the Bosniak post on the presidency, in the 2006-10 mandate.

“How can you expect to win when 11 parties are against you? If there was nine of them, I could easily win, but with 11 I couldn’t,” Izetbegovic said, admitting defeat.

Meanwhile, in a surprise move, made minutes after most polling stations closed, the High Representative to Bosnia, Christian Schmidt, used his executive so-called “Bonn-powers” to impose controversial changes to the country’s election law.

The election law has been a thorn in Bosnia’s side for more than a decade, with dozens rounds of failed consultations.

The new intervention changes the election law by raising the number of representatives in the Federation entity’s House of Peoples and the way they are chosen. The changes also include the deadline for the formation of the government after the election, as well as measures to ensure the functionality of the Bosniak and Croat-dominated Federation entity.

Schmidt, whose task is to oversee implementation of the 1995 peace accords that ended the 1992-95 war, also imposed changes to the Constitution of the Federation entity, ensuring the functionality of its constitutional court and the selection process of the judges.

The US Embassy to Bosnia welcomed Schmidt’s move, saying that it would “bolster the stability and functionality of Bosnia and Herzegovina … This action was both urgent and necessary,” the embassy said.

The British ambassador, Julian Reilly, also supported the OHR’s decision, while saying that “it is a source of regret that the powers of the High Representative continue to be needed in Bosnia and Herzegovina.”

The election process was marred by numerous, minor irregularities. The Coalition for Free and Fair Elections “Pod Lupom”, an umbrella organisation of more than 80 civil society organisations which monitored the elections, recorded 73 breaches of the election law by 4.30 pm.

One voting station in the capital Sarajevo was closed for two hours due to the sudden death of a voter, so will be allowed to stay open to compensate for the lost time.

Another voting station in Hozici, close to Bosanski Novi in the Serb-dominated entity, Republika Srpska, closed after five people were detained, suspected of bringing pre-filled ballots, so elections will be repeated there.

Bosnians are electing a new state parliament, assemblies in the two entities, ten cantonal assemblies within the Federation and the three-member state presidency.

Three seats are up for election on on the state presidency, 42 for the state parliament, 98 for the assembly of the Federation entity, 83 for the assembly of Republika Srpska and three for the president and vice-presidents of Republika Srpska.

Some 3.3 million voters, slightly more than the official number of population, were eligible to vote at the 14th elections since 1996, when the first post-war elections were held.

However, according to the Central Electoral Commission, CEC, only 50 per cent of Bosnians voted in the 5,904 polling stations.

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that-cunning-witch · 1 year

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Spitballing here. As someone who grew up Christian, I was severely disappointed that whenever I prayed to Jesus that my prayers were never answered.

Now (mostly) healed from my religious trauma, I kind of had an a-ha moment. What if Jesus doesn't answer prayers from those who don't worship Him/His religion correctly?

I DO NOT mean what day one worships Him or how one is baptized or what version of the Bible is read. What I DO MEAN is how one uses the religion of Jesus. Do you better yourself, others, and the world? Or do you use it as an excuse to be bigoted and a piece of shit?

I was raised through the SDA (Seventh Day Adventists) sect where we're taught that gay marriage is a sin, trans people are p3d0s, Catholics and Jews are inherently wrong, people of color are inferior, modern medicine is always wrong, etc.

Because of these beliefs and the fact I was indoctrinated (I use this term bc I truly believe that SDA is a cult), I too was a piece of shit during that part of my life. It's vulnerable to admit this as the internet likes to hold people accountable to an extreme, but when I was younger, I absolutely was homophobic, transphobic, racist, and all of that.

So no wonder Jesus never answered my prayers or the prayers of my relatives and the prayers of the church I attended. It seemed as though nothing was ever done because none of our prayers were ever answered. Because we were using Jesus as an excuse to be terrible and horrible human beings.

At least, that's my take on it. What are other people's thoughts on this?

If I said something incorrectly or something needs to be clarified or said better, please let me know.

TLDR: I am NOT saying that Christianity as a whole is invalid. I'm saying that my current theory is that Jesus/God doesn't answer prayers or stay active in the churches, sects, and people who use Him and His words to hurt others. Jesus invalidates the Christianity that is used incorrectly and supports the Christianity that is used correctly. And my definition of correct/incorrect is on moral standings (bigotry, homophobia, transphobia, racism, etc.) and not differences in religious practices.

#witch #witchcraft #witchblr #magic #pagan #christianity #religion #tw christianity #sda #seventh day adventist #tw sda #tw seventh day adventist #tw cult #tw homophobia #tw transphobia #tw racism

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dykefaggotry · 3 years

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any time I see other ex sda people I'm like a dog seeing another dog like YES. SAME TRAUMA?

#james.txt #ajdgshsh wild lmao #it's bc i rarely see adventists being mentioned let alone acknowledging that they're as harmful as like #mormonism etc #so it's always cool to see other ppl like #hey I was raised sda and it fucked me up

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lizhortons · 4 years

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I'm assuming you're a Christian bc u run an aio blog. I was raised christian and LOVED listening to odyssey tapes and CDs. But now im gay. What are your thoughts on the lgbtq community?

I'm bi so my thoughts on the LGBTQ community are that it's pretty great 🏳️‍🌈

#also yeah im a Christian i was raised sda #and i still am i Christian im just not sure how Adventist i am but i still go to church and stuff

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kadywicker · 4 years

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oh shit tma mentioned adventists sjdhhss

#god. i was raised sda a shudder went down my spine #terrible awful religion I'll tell ya now

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imo-chan-imagines · 3 years

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『 As your boyfriend | BNHA Headcanons 』

From the good, to the bad, to the downright adorable.

Characters: female!reader, Aizawa Shouta

Tags/warnings: Boku No Hero Academia (anime), 18+, explicit descriptions of sex, smut, fluff, soft dom Aizawa, relationship, headcanons

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: Right, so I'm simping for this man biG TIME, but I'm only on season 3, so no spoilers or anything, please. This is my first BNHA post (and it turned out way longer than I was intending 😅) Please let me know if you want more in the future!

Also, I have a repetitive strain injury, so typing stuff is taking a while at the moment. Sorry about that. Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ ~Imo

☆ Aizawa Shouta ☆

I'm not going to lie. Shouta can be a big ol' grouchy pants sometimes, and it's basically impossible to win an argument against him makes you want to tear your hair out, sometimes

But most of the time, he's just tired and in pain, and he doesn't mean to be so crotchety

He's not the type to make excuses, though. That's childish. He means his apologies, even if they're simple

He'll normally initiate an apology by gently wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his forehead on your shoulder 🥺

Physical contact is incredibly personal and intimate for him. He doesn't just touch anyone, or allow them to touch him

You're special 💞💫

Soft, gentle touches, like his fingers interlacing with yours, or his leg brushing up against you, are basically his way of saying 'I love you'

Catch me crying in the corner, a'ight? 😔

He rarely ever raises his voice. Like, ever he doesn't need to, and is aware that it can be scary

He's definitely the kind of guy to forget to tell people that you're dating, simply because he doesn't see how it's relevant or anyone else's business 🤦‍♀️

I mean, he ain't wrong, but–

And his mood switches between 'antisocial' and 'clingy' like a mechanical metronome did someone say 'cat'?

Sometimes, you'll be lucky if he speaks more than three words to you together in a whole day nothing personal 🤷‍♀️

But on other days, he literally won't let you out of his arms for the world he's complicated, okay?

You have missed many a parcel delivery because he wouldn't let you get up from his lap to answer the door 🙄😂

Boundaries and responsibilities are key and highly respected by Shouta, and he would NEVER erase your quirk without your permission, unless he literally had no other choice like someone's going to get hurt, or something

Is generally quite serious so what's new? but you're one of the few people he can relax around when he feels like it

9/10 of his jokes are dad jokes 😎 hell yeah

Takes a hard stance in financial debates, but is constantly broke af 😶 says he'll buy you dinner and presents you with some instant noodles with a 'Reduced To Clear' sticker on them

Will take a bite of your food/steal some off your plate without asking, and literally say nothing to defend himself #gremlin

Is incredibly shy and uncomfortable about being ~le horny~ until you've been together for literally forever

Even then, he's still shy about it when he has to bring it up and it's pretty cute, let me tell ya

It took him forever to admit to you that he gets turned on when you eat ice lollies

Guess what you do whenever you want to mess with him like a little brat 😛

But if he's in the mood, he will 100% whisper something dirty in your ear, even if you're completely alone and probably well past third base

He does it because he knows your pussy will clamp around him at the sound of his voice 😳🥵

*fans self profusely*

Genuine, unadulterated smiles are rare with Aizawa, but when he does 🙌 Heaven hath opened its gates and allowed an angel walk amongst mere mortals 🥺🤧

If he lays his head on your chest, he will fall asleep like that *snaps fingers*

Surprise nose and forehead kisses to show he loves you ❤

Calls you 'Kitten' this is basically already canon at this point

And he's all about those deep talks with you at 3 am when he can't sleep

Speaking of insomnia!

It's cheesy, but you're like a soothing balm. The warmth of your body makes him feel safe, your touch helps him relax, and your voice soothes him to sleep

He's never slept as well as when you're beside him 😭🤧

When cuddling, he likes to be the big spoon but will accept being the little spoon if you if you press your boobs against his back and ask really nicely 🤭

And he loves you stroking his hair and running your fingers through it 🥺

Netlix nights and pillow/blanket forts!!

Rainy days are a godsend. Staying inside all day under the blankets, with the soft sound of the rain falling outside and no-one to interrupt you – literal paradise

He makes mean hot cocoas and Irish coffees 😋 I feel like this man lives off Irish coffees 😂🤣

Wears a lot of black and grey sweatpants at home 😗 which highlight the outline of his dick just right, if ya know what I'm sayin' 👀

Doesn't like going out for dates and prefers staying inside and doing stuff together same, honeyy

But if you really like going out, he will somewhat begrudgingly agree to it and get all dressed up for you, just so long as he gets his fair share of home-dates, too 🤗

But if you also don't like going out... the two of you will basically never leave the house, except to get groceries in your pyjamas from the 24-hour convenience store down the road at one in the morning oddly specific, I know, but you get me

And sorry, but I don't make the rules

Well, actually, I do. But shush

We all know that Shouta cleans up *chef's kiss* So when you go somewhere ~fancy~ he always looks so damn fine 😩

But he has very little idea that he's hot he sees himself as a tired, walking dumpster fire🚶‍♂️🔥

Shouta will 100% turn into a crazy cat dude with 15+ cats if you don't stop him I never said you should, though 🙃

And is a 'minimalist texter' – basically, if he can't answer a text with 'yes', 'no,' 'maybe', or 'OK', then he probably won't answer it at all 😭😂

Especially if you try and sext him or send him your nudes while he's at work. He'll probably lecture you when he gets home and depending on just how much you turned him on, he might proceed to teach you a lesson...

But wear his shirt, and just his shirt or his hoodie and he's yours

Heart eyes, motherfucker 😍

And, depending on how you two are feeling that day, you may or may not end up getting dicked down on the nearest semi-flat surface right then and there 👀

But don't misunderstand. This is an incredibly tired man you have here, and his libido actually isn't through the roof sorry, ladies so this kind of thing isn't an everyday occurrence

But when he dicks you down, he dicks you down goooood

Shouta's not big on PDA, but makes up for it in private. We're talking hands and kisses all over your body he leaves nothing unloved 😏

And while he's not big on PDA, he is big on sneaky displays of affection or 'SDA', as I like to call it

Like subtly grabbing your butt for a second, or his hand on your thigh under the table at a dinner etc. especially around other people

But what really gets him going is slowly removing your clothes and taking you fully naked, spreading your legs wide and holding them open he likes the view 😍

He lowkey highkey worships your body 🙏 and will literally not shut up about how fucking pretty you are, and how fucking good it feels inside you his words, not mine 😳

Groans and growls a little when he's getting close/cumming especially when he's being a little rough and likes to cum together, but knows it's not always practical

He tends to be a gentle dom, but can get just a teensy bit 🤏 rough if he's too into it – but nothing outrageous

We're talking rough thrusts and a brutal pace, maybe holding onto you a little too hard and, waaahh, he gets so embarrassed if he leaves bruises

Is also into a little bondage, but again, only light stuff – restraining your wrists with his hands or his tie or his Capturing Weapon 👀 maybe blinding-folding you if you're okay with it

If you're not blindfolded, then I'm afraid he's all about that eye contact

Eating out your pussy? Eye contact. Pounding you into the mattress? Blazing eye contact. Rearranging your guts in front of the mirror? Fucking eye contact

And CONSENT, BABY. THAT'S WHAT HE'S FUCKING INTO 😌🙌💞

But all jokes aside – he's too used to taking without consent with his quirk, that he's kind of paranoid about it comes to sex but it's adorable and sweet, and honestly, still kind of hot

And speaking of eating pussy – goddamn does he like to please you. Like cream to a kitty 😛

Oh, and he just loves it when you suck on his fingers as he's pounding into you 🤤

And he likes to leave love bites in personal, inconspicuous places and sometimes on your neck

He's marking his woman 😌

When he gets suuuper horny, he likes to fuck you from behind, standing upright in front of the mirror. It's a specific kink he has of watching himself stretch you out as the length of his cock disappears inside you...

I can get behind that, lemme tell yaaa

I said he tends to be dominant, but female doms – fear not!

Shouta is quite flexible when it comes down to it and is kind of lazy, lmfao so he definitely has time for laying back, having the control taken away, and having his dick ridden

For him, it's really all about communication and what you're both comfortable with

I will say this, though: sometimes, his cat watches you while you're banging 😅😂

The first time it happened, you freaked out and refused to continue because – how could you??? But eventually, you just kind of got used to it 🤷‍♀️

The same way you've got used to it following you to the bathroom every time you go to take a shit 😭

So now, you just kind of laugh about it, which helps keep things a little lighter 🤗

After sex, he does like to snuggle, but you'll be lucky if he stays awake for more than 30 seconds it's one of the few times he actually can sleep well

If you're ever out and about, or even inside, and cold, he'll wrap you up in his clothes/scarf/blanket like a sushi roll like Eren wrapping up Mikasa in his scarf, all deadpan and everything 😐

It's not that often, but when he gets drunk, he gets all soft and emotional, and starts babbling about how he can't believe he got so lucky to be dating you, and that he's sure he hasn't done anything to deserve it mah heart

He's pretty sure he wants kids, but he doesn't feel like now is the right time, and is lowkey afraid that it's never going to feel like the right time

He also constantly doubts himself, wondering if he'd actually able to look after them and protect them the way a father should class 1-A got him second-guessing himself 🥺

Besides, it's not all about him. You clearly have a say in it too, and he doesn't want to force you into anything

Again: communication and comfort zones

Dating Aizawa definitely has its ups and downs, and it's not smooth sailing, but he's prepared to work for a life with you because he's found a connection with you that he hasn't feel with anyone else

He knows that you're both far from perfect, but hopes that, for once, you might just make something good, and make it last 🥰😇

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iscariotapologist · 3 years

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Important question! I know you are former SDA. Aren’t they annihilationist? Are you still Annhilationist? This is so interesting to me because I have yet to meet a Christian who is not a little bit afraid of Hellfire! You see I myself have complicated feelings about Hell. I hope it either doesn’t exist or is empty.

eventually yes they are, but it is a little more complicated than that - in sda eschatology as i was taught, at the second coming the living wicked die (first time) and the wicked dead stay that way for the millennium (a literal thousand years) during which satan is allowed to run around on earth and plot and plan and whatever and the saved are in heaven. there, god and the saved are going over the records of everyone who ever lived to see why they were or weren't saved (this doesn't change anything it's just to see). at the end of the millennium everyone comes back down to earth and all the wicked dead are raised and join satan to try to overcome the new jerusalem/holy city, this goes as well as you might imagine and then all the wicked + satan are killed (again) forever and the saved are free to live eternally on the new earth. so yes, they are annihilated.

an important part of the sda idea of the state of the dead is that those who are dead remain unconscious until the second coming of christ. there are no humans in heaven (or hell which isn't actually thought of as a thing that exists until the end) except for those that the bible specifically names as being taken up to heaven (enoch, elijah, moses, those raised at the resurrection of jesus, etc.). this is why there's multiple alive-dead-alive again-dead again events that are important, and also part of why adventists are so weird about saints.

now, for all that growing up sda traumatized me in many ways, fear of an eternal hell wasn't one of those, and i think this is probably adventism's only not-horrible feature. however, an adjacent kind of fear was transferred to the part i skipped over where if you're a Real Christian in the end times you get hunted and tortured/killed by the evil catholic government for going to church on saturday. if you're lucky god will let you die first. also this is going to start happening Very Fucking Soon so better tell god you'd rather die now. this is a bad thing to internalize as a kid! but i did miss out on the eternal hell bit. i wasn't afraid of that, just of the government sponsored torture.

i don't consider myself christian, and i'm pretty agnostic about the afterlife, so i can't say i am afraid of hellfire. if i had to pick a belief about it, i resonate with the idea of purgatorial universalism, and the orthodox christian idea of heaven and hell not being different locations but rather being relative positions to the love of god.

#ask to tag if anyone wants for the apocalypse/end times stuff!#i hope this is coherent #it's difficult to explain this stuff to people without sda background knowledge because their whole worldview is very #carefully constructed to have a meticulous explanation for everything in the bible BUT its also very fragile and only makes #any kind of sense from within that paradigm. so if youre looking at this and saying 'what the fuck' or 'this doesnt make sense'#thats because it doesnt make sense.#adventists also refuse to accept any number in the bible as being not literal (yes this is stupid) which is where a lot of the sense #of the end times being extremely imminent comes from - a lot of complex calculations from numbers in daniel and revelation etc #that they have deduced to mean jesus is coming approximately in two weeks better get ready #god theres SO much more insane adventist stuff i could go on about its all so strange but this got long #seventh day adventism #sda #ex sda #the ask tag #freeandclear3567

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foryouthegays · 3 years

Text

spreading propaganda [Dream SMP] liveblog yall lets go. this is so long i am sorry but the end is an actual summary of what happens asldkfa

sellout timer pog: 00:30:20, 01:00:40, 01:31:35, 02:02:03 (for like a second), 02:03:00, 02:34:35

time spent reading donations: 10 minutes, 20ish seconds.

fanart credit he puts up (all from twitter i think): snumkt, reinneart, lihnsu, sestqr, jester_u, Brigade_Lost, natonyy

also taggin @antarctic-empire-technoblade :) theres an actual summary at the end that isnt just me ramblin so,,,,,,ye. i am so sorry its so long a;dkfja i dont know how to condense things

00:00:35 “i stole a lot of sand recently,” ah yes, a casual conversation starter, the admission of theft

00:03:55 hE HAS A VILLAGER TRADING HALL CHAPEL IN THE VILLAGE SIR THAT IS ILLEGAL

00:04:13

tubbo: -..--...---

ranboo: that means beans right

no, ranboo, not it does not (i put it into a translator and it just. it doesnt mean anything. i didnt see any spaces so im just. what was mr tubbo trying to say

00:04:35: relationship advice with technoblade! [reading donation] “‘techno, my boyfriend said he’ll never sub to you, how do i handle this travesty?’ uh, clearly you need to break up with him, and send me more money, is the most- that’s the most unbiased opinion I can give you, it’s just a good life decision, alright? It’s just a good life decision.”

00:16:00 ranboo hi!!!! him garden :D

HOUND ARMY HOUND ARMY 00:18:10

00:20:15 ‘i have not made a tier list [for dinosaurs] yet’ Y E T? ? ? ?? ?

00:20:55

“‘Hey, are you uncomfortable with being part of the SBI family dynamic?’ Uh, I don’t really- it’s not a matter of being uncomfortable, it’s just a matter of people making massive revisions to my character and the lore three months into the story without telling me, and it’s like, ‘no, that doesn’t- the story doesn’t- so many things don’t make sense now! What?? What???’ but if you want to make like, fanart of it, it’s fine”

00:21:25 imagine believing in airplanes, couldnt be me

00:21:35 SKLDJFAK a dono is like, hey can u call my new cousin a nerd, and technos like [claps] yOUVE COME TO THE RIGHT MAN im all about bullying infant children

lakjshdfl 00:26:15 ‘philza this does not sound lore at all please’ poor techno

00:27:30 HKJSFDL :crab: TUBBO IS GONE :crab: also i cant tell if techno says ‘KILL HIM DEAD’ or ‘KILL HIM, DAD’

00:30:20 ‘we should have a grinch episode, where i go around stealing presents from l’manburg’ DO IT

also i was in chat at 00:31:25ish and i said ‘subscribe to technoblade’ and RIGHT AFTER techno said ‘did i hear subscribe to technoblade?’ and i felt so heard

00:33:25 why is his only response to being seen in enemy lines to just stay realllyyyyy still a;lkdfjasf

00:39:45 ‘this is crucial information coming to you live from anarchy news’ A;LSDKFJA;LSDF

00:46:25 :CRAB: RANBOO IS GONE :CRAB: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

alkdfja; 00:47:55 techno talks (sarcastically) abt how great it is when chat tells him where his stuff is

00:48:50 awww techno showin his not-dad his hound army!!! so cute

00:55:30 techno specifies that theyre all characters/roleplayin!!!

techno talkin to phil is literally like a kid talkin to his dad after not seein him for a while. like yeah yeah family isnt canon in this but KSJDFLA hes like ‘phillll tommys being annoying also look at this new poster!!!!’ its so cute

01:09:20 A;SDJFADSL THE VILLAGER JUST. FALLS THROUGH THE FLOOR

techno nd phil reference smp earth at 01:19:50!!!!

(ik some people dont like enbyctechno so heres ur warnin, its just for this line tho) techno says ‘no one man should have this power’ but he HAS that power. therefore. mr c!blade is not a guy 01:35:00ish idk im not goin back to check

01:38:35 alright gang lets split up and look for clues

01:45:20 ‘my chat’s sayin theres a 0% chance this is gonna work,,,,thATS A CHANCE I’M WILLING TO TAKE, CHAT’ skjdflasl;dfjaf (also, bit after, after readin the wiki say its 0% chance: ‘i like those odds’)

01:48:15 [abt the zombie villager baby]

Techno: on the bright side, we may have inflicted the optimal amount of trauma onto this child for it to become funny?

Ranboo: ooooh yeah! it can become a minecraft youtuber!

techno: yeeeeeeah!!

pls get some therapy

a;ldkfassa the mental image of techno ownin an orphanage,,,,paldkfajslfasf 01:51:35

a;ldsifjasdklf ranboo is canonically a villager now, pog 01:56:50

01:57:50 ranboo: ‘they say that im built different, i am built different, in the fact that i have no moral backbone.’

01:58:30 BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD also why is techno so good at the bow like WHAT he looks in third person and turns nd shoots in like a second and hits most of the time its scary literally look at ranboo a;ldsjkfadsf hes like a porcupine

ASKLJDFASLDF RANBOOS ‘OH NO HE KNOWS HOW TO OPEN DOORS’ AT 02:02:25 JUST HAS SUCH TECHNO SKYBLOCK VID VIBES ADLKJFALSDFJA OH MY GOSH

02:06:35 “i feel there has been an attempt on my life,” "no thats just how we greet each other in our country” nether lore pog?

02:08:45 why does techno casually type at 120 wpm????? god i hate him so much why is he like thisssss ugh (also it took ~3 seconds to type 7 words (34 characters) which is 140 wpm and 680 cpm if i know how to do math i hate it here) /lh

nd then he types ‘punz we’re all outside your house get over here’ which is 47 characters nd 9 words nd it took him 5 seconds to type which is 564 cpm and 108 wpm so his average (from these two samples which. isnt a lot. should i do a post abt this in the future?) is 124 wpm and 622 cpm. hes so fast.

SDA;FKJASDF PHIL WHY R U SO VIOLENT

02:17:00 PUNZ POG ALSO MANIFOLD KILLED IN THE HOLY LAND

technos complainin bout the fights bein boring,,,,,,,fight them all, techno. do it. 1v8. do it, coward.

02:24:02 ‘maybe the real combat was the friends we made along the way’

02:25:16 i love that technos first instinct when someone dies is to check what sword/axe killed them nd what enchants r on it aldskfjads

i love how techno calls the manhunt music ‘dream music’ its so funny to me

right before he ends the stream he says ‘p e r h a p s’ to techno plushies and i just,,,, wa n t

if ya just want an actual summary and not that MESS:

Technoblade starts the stream in his house. the first thing he does is put another piece of fanart in his house, this one by snumkt on twitter. he goes to l’manburg, where he sneaks around very sneakily (/s) and replaces anti-techno propaganda with pro-techno fanart, stating that “If they take it down, it’s ‘cause they hate fanartists.” (00:09:18).

While placing posters, Techno checks in on his hound army, and reveals that he thinks someone had been in the area, because a wolf teleported to him while he was home. He thinks someone placed water, the dog stood up, and then teleported. (00:18:25)

After breeding the dogs, Techno reads donations and one of the questions is about the SBI family dynamics. Here’s what he says at 00:20:55

He then meets up with Philza, who is being escorted by Tubbo. Techno goes to Philzas house, and hides in his new basement. He joins their VC and finds Phil, Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. talking about birthdays. Tubbo goes to the basement and sees Technos invis particles, hits him, and he is revealed. Techno kills tubbo, and declares it canon as a joke.

He goes back outside, deafened on Discord, and puts down more propaganda. Philza joins his call, and they meet up to try and find Technos stolen items. They don’t find the barrel, but they do find a hidden room under the podium. Techno puts a piece of propaganda in the room. (00:43:30)

While Phil is killing an enderman, Ranboo finds them, and is killed by Techno. (00:46:25)

Techno takes Phil to see his Hound Army, but they’re stopped by Tubbo. Techno tries to pretend to be Ranboo, but Ranboo goes up to them, so his cover is blown. Techno’s chased to the portal. Phil and Techno meet again in the Nether, and they go back to the house.

At the house, Phil and Techno talk about the SBI characters, the sellout timer goes off, and then they go downstairs to cure a zombie villager. While it’s curing, Techno gathers books to make a new bow, with Power V, Punch II, Unbreaking III, Flame, and Mending.

Philza reveals that Ranboo is coming over to give Phil a present. Techno seems excited at this, mostly at the fact that Ranboo can be his new bows test subject.

Before Ranboo arrives, the villager is cured, and they find out it is a nitwit, meaning it can’t trade or get a job. Techno and Phil start working on a tunnel to bring the villager to a lava pool, so the other villagers won’t gossip and raise their prices.

Ranboo joins the call at 01:15:35, right before they’re going to bring the villager to the lava pool. He gifts Techno and Phil four Netherite ingots.

After struggling to get the villager to the right height, Techno forces Ranboo to boat the villager into the lava. Ranboo escapes by throwing a pearl, and the villager dies.

Ranboo, Techno, and Phil talk about duping Netherite, and the current plot, and then Techno finds a zombie baby villager. It’s caught in a boat, and Techno nametags it ‘Orphan.’ They talk about the cobblestone tower, Philzas’ death to a baby zombie, and how if you don’t see a child's parents, you should assume that they are an orphan and attack them.

Techno talks to Jack Manifold through chat about his axe. Techno, Philza, and Ranboo go around and look for zombie villagers. Techno finds an igloo, with two villagers. Techno was going to try and turn them into zombie villagers, but decides to not when he finds out that theres a 0% chance of that happening on Easy mode.

They all go back to Orphan, and bully it when they find out it still hasn’t grown up. Techno and Ranboo make a joke about how it’s traumatized, so it’ll be funny and can be come a minecraft youtuber. please get some help. (01:48:15)

After Orphan grows up, Techno trades and gets the Bottle of Enchanting trade for one emerald. They all joke about Techno owning an orphanage at 01:51:35.

Phil, Techno, and Ranboo decide go to the Hound Army, but Techno remembers that Ranboo is part of L’manburg, and tries to kill him (with his new bow) when they enter the nether. He doesn’t succeed, and he continues fighting until he drinks and invis pot on the Prime Path. Techno and Phil meet up in the Bee Dome, where Ranboo finds them. Techno tries to kill him, but runs out of arrows.

After reading donations, Techno, Ranboo, and Phil are back together at the Bee Dome, and they decide to team up in case someone finds them. They go outside of the Dome, and chase Jack Manifold out of his own country.

Manifold joins the VC, and they try to blame Punz on his attempted murder. After Manifold says “i feel there has been an attempt on my life,” Techno says that that’s how he greets people in his country.

Manifold asks if they want to help him get revenge on Punz, and Techno agrees. They gather more people, and by the time they get to Punz’s tower, their party is Manifold, Techno, Phil, Ranboo, Fundy, and Antfrost. Punz is in the Nether, so they wait until he gets back.

Ranboo and Techno have a whisper conversation:

Ranboo: are you just going to jump fundy

Techno: no im gonna make jack 1v1 LMAO

Ranboo: good plan

While Fundy is taking a screenshot of Techno for his thumbnail, Philza attacks Fundy with a crossbow and his sword. He claims it was because he was getting bored.

In the same spirit, Techno asks if they could kill Manifold to pass the time. The mob, which now includes Fundy, chases Manifold. He runs to the Holy Land, and the mob boos him. Techno tells Antfrost to kill Manifold, and that the mob won’t tell that he was killed in the Holy Land. Manifold hands Antfrost his sword.

While Antfrost debates killing Manifold or not, the mob chants ‘peer pressure!’ at him. Techno quickly realizes that Antfrost isn’t in the VC, and is extremely confused. The sword gets handed to Fundy, who gets into a battle with Manifold. Philza tells Fundy that he’s forgiven, if he can kill Manifold. The battle calms, and neither of the contestants die.

Techno convinces the mob to go to the pit trap, and tries to lure someone onto the trapped blocks using rotten flesh. Fundy takes the bait, but moves out of the way before the button is pressed. Antfrost sneaks up behind him and punches him into the pit. Fundy survives the fall, but is shot by Manifold to death.

During the commotion, Punz makes his way back to his house, and the mob moves towards him to end his life. Manifold says that he’s going to kill Punz, and Techno says that the mob’ll have his back. He tells the mob to not have Manifold’s back.

at 02:17:00, Punz joins the call, and is confused as to why Manifold wants to kill him. Manifold explains that Punz tried to kill him, siting his source as Technoblade.

also, 2:17:15 technoswear!

Techno encourages Punz, saying “Punz, he actually dropped his sword by accident and now I have it, so it’d be really easy to beat him up,” and “he also just killed in the holy land, so you have a sort of...religious motivation to take him out.”

Punz tries to fight Manifold without armor (Manifold is wearing a full enchanted set of armor, with a Netherite chestplate and everything else Diamond), which fails miserably, and Manifold is killed.

Techno decides to fight Manifold with his goons (the mob) for the audience retention, and Manifold’s quickly killed. The final hit was from CaptainPuffy. Ponk rushes in and grabs some of Manifold’s items. Puffy takes the rest.

Manifold complains about getting bullied, so Techno gives him his sword back and tells him to avenge himself. While looking for Ponk (or Punz? this is kinda unclear), Punz swoops in and kills Manifold in two hits.

Manifold finds Ponk and chases after him, trying to kill him. The mob follows, and Ranboo kills Ponk with thorns. Manifold takes Ponks stuff.

Right after respawning, Ponk was blown up by a creeper, and Techno claimed both as canon.

The mini fights continue, and Manifold is killed by Punz.

Ranboo changes the ‘Days since last war crime’ sign to 0.

Phil tells Techno that he’s going back to the base, and the L’manburgians question him as to what base he’s talking about. Phil tells Fundy that he ripped off his ankle shackles and left. While they talk, Techno starts running back to the base, and Ranboo whispers “lets run back” to him. Ranboo follows Techno, but quickly looses him.

Phil and Techno join a separate VC together and they go back to the base.

At 02:29:15, Phil says “I trust you” to Techno and I am going to cry.

Right before getting to the base, Phil drinks some honey, and Techno says “that’s the only thing we have honey for, now that we’ve uh...uh I guess you don’t know about that.” He’s referring to the Vault, I think, because the redstone required honey to work properly.

Philza responds, “the honey- wait, what did you use the honey for?”

“uhhh....food.” Techno, for some reason, doesn’t want to show Phil the vault.

Ranboo whispers to Techno: “My alliance isnt with lmanburg, its with the people who help me. phil helped me.”

out loud, Techno laughs about it with phil, saying, “well, I’ve stabbed him like twelve times this week, so, I [laughs] I don’t know if that entirely qualifies here.”

Techno messages Ranboo back with “new phone who this”

Ranboo replies, “no one,” and then, “:)”

Going back to the honey talk, Philza asked if Techno had been hiding anything diabolical from him, and Techno asks if he would do such a thing. Philza guesses several things he could use honey for, such as a flying machine, TNT dupers, and a door.

Techno takes him to the vault. 02:32:00. i LOVE peoples reactions to the vault, it’s always so good. Philza responds with a surprised ‘HOLY SHIT’ and some laughing. Techno also confirms my math of 55 withers.

02:34:10 “i’ve seen this government, on the server, and everything to do with government is just bad. I’ve watched it completely destroy and tear down people’s wills and change people, I’ve seen it change the nicest people into complete and utter tyrants, so...I think it’s about time--”

“We need revenge. [sellout timer goes off] and more importantly, we neED SUBSCRIBERS ON YOUTUBE DOT COM” phil joinin anarchy pog?

anyway that was it ;alskdfjas;f

#this ended up bein abt 3000 words whoops #a;ldskfjasldf #technoblade #stream post

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