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downwiththeficness · 4 years

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A Need So Great-Chapter 8.5

Summary: Eva Moore is assigned to work the last year of her contract with the DEA in Colombia. She just wants to get to the end of her tenure, but she keeps getting drawn further into a string of murders in the city. It isn’t long before she’s forced to face the ghosts of her past.

Word Count: ~2,700

Warnings: Smut

A/N: For the purposes of this story, Carrillo isn’t married--or, if you like, divorced. A/B/O dynamics are prevalent, and they come with their own warning. The overall rating for this story is Explicit, although not every chapter will contain adult themes.

Taglist: @dirtynerdy98 @1zashreena1 @heresathreebee @deliciouslyclassytrash @maybege @kid-from-new-zealand

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10.5, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

Eva woke alone. Groggy, she rubbed her eyes and squinted against the morning sun. She rolled to the side and instantly regretted it. The inside of her thighs, the muscles over her ribs all cried out, telling her that she’d overexerted herself. Experimentally, she reached down and pressed four fingers of one hand against her folds, wincing just a bit. She’d definitely overworked it.

Rising, she pulled on a too baggy t-shirt from her dresser and wrapped her hair up into a bun. She could smell coffee and it drew her out to the kitchen. Horacio was sitting at the bar the ran along the back of the sink, sipping from one of her souvenir mugs—Las Vegas Welcomes You!

“You’re one of those people who wakes up early and goes to the gym, aren’t you?” She deadpanned as she crossed the kitchen to make her own cup.

He laughed softly and even though she wasn’t looking at him, she knew he was shaking his head. Coffee made, she turned and circled the bar, sitting on the stool next to him. He hadn’t bothered to pull on more than his boxer briefs, and she took a moment to just look at him. Taking a sip, she reached out to smooth an errant curl. He smiled and took her hand.

For a long while, they were just...there. Sitting, drinking coffee, holding hands. Eva didn’t think that she’d done this, well, ever. With anyone. And, it was so, so nice, this feeling.

Setting his cup down, Horacio placed both hands on her knees, thumbs tracing little circles on the outside, “How are you feeling?”

She knew what he was asking, and she wondered when she’d gained the ability to read his intent so clearly. Eva covered his hands with her own, “I’m sore, but its been a while, so that’s to be expected.”

Though he said nothing, there was doubt in his expression. And then, his eyes narrowed, “You just had an inside thought.”

Eva blinked, startled, “I did.”

He shot her a look that she was coming to understand as, ‘tell me, or I will make you tell me.’ For a very short three seconds or so, she considered diverting his attention in some way. But, something told her to just get it out there. It wasn’t worth it to avoid the conversation, not when it was ruining a perfectly good hand hold.

She ran a hand up his arm, “You’ve had this conversation before, haven’t you?” He didn’t answer, but his eyes did glance to the side and back. She was right. “And, it did not go well.” Not a word, but she’d hit the nail on the head.

“You like me?” She asked, a twinge of anxiety hitting her in the stomach.

Releasing a breath, he nodded, “I like you.”

She didn’t really want to admit how relieved she was to hear it, “And, you don’t want to scare me.”

Another nod. She wondered what had happened to make him think that she could be scared of him. What had he done that was any worse than what she had done?

“When we first met, you asked me why I wasn’t scared of you. Do you remember what I said?”

One side of his mouth quirked up, “Because I wasn’t a threat to you.”

“That’s right,” she said, “Has anything really changed since then? Leave the sex out of it, for a minute. Have you suddenly begun to regard me maliciously?”

“No.”

“Do you want to hurt me?”

“No.”

“Alright, then why do you think that you would while we were—while…” A flush crept up her neck as she stumbled over her words. Eva took a breath, then said, “What’s the difference?”

He pulled his lips between his teeth while he thought, “I don’t always have the best control when I’m…”

She smiled, “You seemed to do just fine last night.”

And, he had. He’d been attentive and considerate, warm in a way that she hadn’t ever had in a partner. That he was so unsure only solidified her resolve to clear up whatever hesitations he might have.

His brows lifted and he gave a little nod, “Barely.”

Running her tongue along her bottom lip, Eva decided to go with a different tactic. She slid from the stool and stood between his legs, cupping his face.

“Horacio,” she breathed, skimming her thumbs over the stubble on his jaw, “I’d like to ask you a question, and I hope that you’ll be able to answer me.”

His lids fell to half mast, arms coming up and around her hips. Eva kissed him sweetly, letting him pull her deeper into his body.

“Tell me,” she murmured, “How many times did you make me come last night?”

Eva didn’t give him the time to answer, kissing him deeply. Hands in his hair, she kept kissing him until she had to break away for air.

“Are you going to answer me?” She asked, rising up on her toes to kiss him again. “Do you remember?”

He nodded, capturing her lips again, nipping at them with his teeth, soothing them with his tongue. In between one kiss and the next, he choked out the number ‘three’.

“Mmhmm,” she hummed, sighing when he palmed her breasts over her shirt, “Three. All with you barely holding it together. Now, I want you to imagine how many I would have had if you hadn’t.”

Every muscle in his body tightened, eyes alight. Eva couldn’t be sure, but she might have actually shocked him. Patting his chest, she grabbed her cup, intending to get a refill. When she turned from him, his arm enveloped her waist, pulling her back. He took her cup and set it pointedly on the bar.

Dropping his hand, Horacio traced up the side of her thigh until he reached her hip. Eva was pretty sure he’d just discovered she wasn’t wearing underwear. Eyes forward, she remained still as she waited for him to process and react.

His hand changed course, moving to cup her firmly. Breath hitching, she widened her stance. Next to her ear, he muttered something in Spanish, tone hot.

“What was that?”

Tucking his nose behind her ear, he said, “You have the sweetest little pussy.”

Jaw dropping, she looked over her shoulder at him, “Really?”

Eva might have had it in her to feel embarrassed by the way she desperately wanted validation from him—might have, if he wasn’t caressing her so nicely. He rubbed with just enough pressure to coax her arousal along at a steady pace, mindful that she might be sensitive. She sucked in a breath, rocking on the balls of her feet, her toes curling on the hardwood.

He hummed his assent, “I love how wet you get for me.” He plunged two fingers inside, inhaling, “I love how you smell.”

Suddenly, she was being lifted up and thrown over the back of the couch. She landed with a sharp yelp, her eyes wide with surprise.

He leaned over her, smiling wide, “Don’t move.”

And then he was gone. Chuckling, Eva stayed right where she was, listening to his footsteps fade and then come back. He stepped around the end of the couch, tossed a condom onto the coffee table, and crawled over her. Pulling her thighs up and around him, he kissed her softly. One kiss blended into the next, growing deeper, hotter. Eva couldn’t stop touching him, couldn’t stop her hands from running over every inch of exposed skin.

Pulling the t shirt off her body, Horacio threw it aside and looked down the length of her, hands smoothing along her sides. He eased her hips open, thumbs slipping down to hold her open.

“Pretty,” he breathed.

Eva, feeling just a bit exposed, gave a nervous chuckle, “First I’m sweet, now I’m pretty.”

Looking up at her from beneath his lashes, half smiling, he said, “You’re both. Sweet, pretty.” He leaned down and licked—too light to give her any real stimulation, but the visual made her suck in a breath, her heart stuttering. “Tasty.” He ran the flat of his tongue over her again, swirling it over her clit, “Hot. Wet.”

His words trailed off as he got honest about it, two fingers pushing inside. Eva’s eyes closed, a low moan sounding. Against all reason, the wave of her orgasm rose fast and hard. She cried out, head tipped back, hands gripping the cushion beneath her. He worked her through it and kept going, slowing only long enough for her to get her breath.

“I can’t,” she said hoarsely, “I can’t so soon.”

He groaned against her, lifting up just enough to say, “I disagree.”

The fingers inside her curled, pressing hard against a spot inside her that made her vision go completely black as her eyes rolled back. A strangled squeak eeked out of her throat, her muscles burning from being held so damn tightly. Her body obeyed him without having to be told, and she was soon coming again, her face buried against the back of the couch.

When she could see again, Eva pushed him to sit back into the couch cushions. She leaned over and grabbed the condom, rising to straddle him. He held her hips, steadying her as she rested most of her weight on the back of the couch, keeping distance between them.

She kissed him, dipping her tongue inside to taste a mix of them both. Mouthing down his jaw, she rasped her lips against his stubble. He dropped his chin and nuzzled into her breasts, reaching down to grab a handful of her ass.

Eva traced the waistband of his briefs, “Off.”

He slid them off, kicking them to the side while she opened the packet. She rolled on the condom, giving him a firm stroke. When she went to lower herself down on him, he grasped her hips. He held her gaze as he guided her down slow. She was wet enough that the glide was only hampered by the need to pause and let her body adjust to him. The full light of the day told her that she hadn’t been wrong when she’d felt how big he was the night previous. He stretched her wide with every push downwards, pressing against her walls deliciously.

As she took the last few inches, Eva let her forehead fall to his, their noses brushing against one another. She let herself just sit there for a minute, soaking in the heat of his skin, the way they breathed the same air. Her body was so full that she could feel his heartbeat from the inside. Though he had to be needing her to move, he didn’t pull at her, didn’t try to push her to start rocking on him. She could kiss him for that—so she did.

Long, slow kisses that poured out from her like honey, making her feel drugged. She was absolutely steeped in his scent, anchored down by it. Eva thought that she could stay just like this forever. It was a dangerous thought, one that Eva set aside as she laid kisses down his neck and over to the sensitive skin behind his ear.

Beneath that skin was a little ridge, a scent gland that told the world what he was and signaled all kinds of information—his moods, his bond status, his wants and needs. For an omega, for this omega, it drew attention and care. She pressed her tongue to it, pulling the taste of him into her mouth.

Groaning, Horacio’s grip tightened, but she felt him breathe deep, visibly centering himself. This was disappointing. She should try again. Eva rolled her tongue over the gland again, ending it with a firm suck, the sound of it loud in the quiet of the room.

He exclaimed harshly, hips driving up hard once, twice. He held her to him, one hand buried in her hair, the other wrapped around her waist. Seeming to catch himself, he rested his head on her shoulder, mumbling a sincere ‘lo siento’. He whispered it again, using the leverage of his grip on her hair to pull her face to his. She smiled, kissing him briefly, wordlessly letting him know that she was fine.

And then she went right back to what she was doing. His entirely body went lax and somehow clenched at the same time, his hands squeezing into fists. He groaned her name. He panted against her skin. But, he didn’t move. Eva marveled at the sheer amount of control he had—if the situation had been reversed, she would have done anything to get the stimulation she needed.

As it was, she could feel her body pulse with want, all her senses inundated with the feeling of the strong, aroused alpha beneath her.

“You’re doing so good.”

The thought came out as soon as it entered her mind, along with the need to reward him for everything that he was trying to do. She nosed over to the other side of his neck, thumb rubbing at the gland on that side. A rumbling growl vibrated against her chest, his heart hammering underneath. Eva leaned down and let him feel her breathe against it. God, but he smelled good everywhere. She took in deep lungfuls, fingers curling over his shoulders to hold him still—not that she needed to.

“So good,” she repeated, drawing the gland gingerly between her lips.

His chin tipped back, allowing her all the access she wanted. His moans sounded in time with her kiss, interrupted by little growls that she could tell he was fighting to hold back.

Pulling away, she looked at him. He was biting his lip so hard, she thought he might actually draw blood. Brows together, she ran a thumb over his chin, pulling gently. When he released it, she drew the reddened skin into her mouth, running her tongue over it.

Horacio kissed her hard, hands cupping either side of her head. Eva swiveled her hips a little, enjoying the little gasp he made when she ground down on him. The movement was smooth, her slick running down his cock with every pass. Unable to keep the slow pace, it wasn’t long before Eva was rocking her hips over him, angling to hit her g spot with every downward thrust.

Her entire world narrowed down on the way her body was lighting up with pleasure, tightening around him. Little groans grew into high pitched rhythmic moans. Fuck, she was going to come again. He seemed to know it, too.

Horacio helped her along, when her hips started to falter, “I got you. Wanna feel it. I wanna feel you come on me.”

Fire burned low in her belly, billowing out so that her whole body felt encompassed by blistering heat. Eva felt a kind of ragged scream scrape past her vocal chords. She threw back her head, hair falling over her shoulders. This was different than when he made her come on his fingers or mouth. Now, she had something hard to fill her up, to crash against. There was no room inside her to push down, so the contractions rippled out, shaking her down to her bones.

He supported her through it, his own orgasm following not far behind. She sighed at the feeling, arms wrapping around his shoulders as her muscles gave out. For a long time, they just sat there, holding each other. Eva was pretty sure she’d lost all feeling below the waist. There was nothing but tingles all over her body, and this nice, lazy relaxation. She enjoyed it immensely.

Later, when they’d finally gotten dressed, he’d told her that he did need to go raid that bar, but that he’d call her later to see if she wanted him to come by. By the door, he kissed her over and over, before saying that he really did need to go, and that he would try to get back before sun down.

When he did actually leave (several kisses later), Eva laid back on her bed. She could still smell him in the sheets. She lazed for most of the day, smiling wide when the phone rang in the late afternoon.

#narcos #horacio carrillo #carrillo #A Need So Great

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theoddcaptain · 3 years

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Alternatives to the traditional O and A Levels in Singapore: Secondary School/Pre-College

This post is not sponsored by any of the organisations listed below.

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to criticise the Singapore education system. While it has its merits, I simply didn’t find that it was helpful to me or anyone else around when I struggled to force myself to learn things in which I had zero interest, nor did I feel were beneficial to my ever-changing future plans. This post serves as a guide and is based on my personal experience and research. Please note that this is not intended to encourage students to take the easy way out - do your absolute best in everything that you do, be open to alternatives and you’ll get there.

Living in Singapore, the route of traditional education was the one that was most familiar to my parents (and just about anyone else). It was expected that I went to a school - not necessarily one of the top ones - followed a strictly set curriculum which consisted of a lot of rote learning, subjects I didn’t necessarily care about and a ridiculous emphasis on exam performance (meritocracy at its finest). Add this to the usual challenges of growing up - no prizes for guessing that I was not a very happy person. Instead, I preferred to learn what I wanted, when I wanted, where I wanted. Being stuck in a classroom for hours on end was a big no in my books, and by the age of 15, I hit my breaking point.

Note: Under the Compulsory Education Act of 2000, all Singapore citizens must attend and complete education in a national primary school for six years before attaining the age of 15, unless the Ministry of Education grants you an exemption, which is reviewed on a case-by-case basis. Please do not under circumstances break the law.

With some research and convincing, my parents finally let me take charge of my education, and I’m doing what I love today.

If you (or your children) are looking to homeschool, want to try another way, or are just looking for a backup option, here are three alternatives you may wish to consider to help you get to university or wherever you choose.

1. International GED (General Educational Development Tests) Diploma

Screenshot from the GED website

Cost: US$75 per subject (S$101), or US$300 (SG$404) for all four subjects. Time: As long as you’d like, but I’d recommend doing an exam every week for a month, or one every two weeks to keep the momentum going. Age restrictions: Generally 18, but you can get an age waiver from GED if you are at least 16 years old (with parental consent).

According to the GED website, it is the #1 most recognised higher secondary certificate around the world. With four subjects that include the Language Arts, Math, Science and Social Studies, the GED Diploma is a credential that is accepted by universities even in Australia, New Zealand, Bangladesh, Nepal, the United Arab Emirates and the like. You can find a full list of countries and universities that accept it here. Do note, however, that while the GED Diploma is accepted by the listed universities, this may not always mean direct entry to their undergraduate course, rather to their Foundation programs. Always do your research - call to ask if you have to!

I’d also recommend that you take the SAT or ACT and do your best to get a good score, as it would take a significant headache off you when it comes to attempting to apply to universities. The GED, like CollegeBoard for SAT and ACT, also offers accommodations for those with learning differences or disabilities that you can apply for with documentation. Additionally, the GED Ready tests are a great help to gauge your preparation for the real exams, and there are also some prep courses you can take if you need a helping hand. The GED Diploma may also grant you college credit if you do decide to study in the US.

Once you pass all four subjects, you get a nice diploma and transcript, and it’s yours forever, with no expiry date. Congratulations!

2. Cambridge or Edexcel IGCSE or A Levels (British Council)

Screenshot from British Council Singapore

Cost: S$395-$595 per subject (depending on if you take the Double Award Sciences, Extended papers, etc) for IGCSE, and from S$296 to $900+ for the ‘A’ Level subjects. Time: Depends on how much you study, but I’d recommend 6 months to a year of preparation. Age restrictions: None.

These exams are what public schools in the UK take. Whilst similar exams are taken in Singapore, there’s no requirement to take Mother Tongue (MT) subjects. I’d still recommend that you do, though, because being bilingual or even multilingual goes a long way on your university applications and when it comes to applying for jobs eventually. Here’s an article on why being multilingual would be a great help in getting hired. There’s also no practical sciences (Alternative To Practical papers are taken instead). Be aware that for IGCSE, the Double Award papers are a combination of all three sciences, so if you’ve been made fun of for ‘not taking Pure Science’, here’s your chance to give it a go.

Most universities I’ve seen require one to have at least five to six IGCSE subjects and at least three A Levels, but again, different places have different requirements.

3. US Advanced Placement ‘AP’ exams

Screenshot from the CollegeBoard AP website

Cost: US$125 (about S$168) per exam Time: It depends, but don’t rush. Age restrictions: None The Advanced Placement (AP) exams are in subjects at college-level standards. They are recognised worldwide, and some universities also recognise them for direct entry into their undergraduate programs. The subjects on offer include Calculus, Physics, Psychology, World History, Biology, Chemistry and Computer Science. While they’re not impossible, do remember that they are college level exams, and one should not treat them lightly.

The AP has the potential to save you time and money when you eventually go to college - you can even earn credits before setting foot on-campus, allowing you to skip introductory courses and proceed to higher-level ones.

Not a one-size-fits-all approach

Everyone learns and progresses differently. We each also have our own strengths and weaknesses. By extension, our paths to success may differ, as well as the definition of success to each person. No matter which path you may take, it helps to remember that you are special in your own ways, and that learning and education is a lifelong journey, so if one way doesn’t work, try another!

Good luck!

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beth-is-rainpaint · 3 years

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Tag Game!

Thanks so much for the tag, @agentreeb!

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? Pink and black (I think?)

2. Name a food you never eat. Pickles :/

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? I am constantly cold. I wear my fleece bathrobe around the house all the time.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Checking my email.

5. What’s your favorite candy bar? KitKats!

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes, several Washington Nationals games. I miss it!

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? "Love you” (to my husband before he went to bed).

8. What is your favourite ice cream? Turkey Hill Cookie Dough or Breyers Oreo

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

10. Do you like your wallet? Yes, to the point that I haven’t bought a new one even though the zipper broke off years ago LOL. It’s a nice brown with floral lining and tons of compartments for change and cash and my different cards.

11. What is the last thing you ate? Christmas M&Ms mixed with Aldi-brand Rice Chex

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Not for myself, but I did order a Curious George t-shirt for my toddler haha

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? If “watched” can mean “had on in the background and glanced at from time to time,” then whatever football game was on on Sunday afternoon.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? I’m not a big popcorn person but my mother-in-law introduced me to this incredible mix of cheddar popcorn and caramel popcorn and it’s really good as an occasional treat.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? My sister. It was about something in the last episode of The Umbrella Academy my husband and I watched.

16. Ever been camping? Does sleeping in a tent at a week-long music festival count? If so, yes, twice.

17. Do you take vitamins? No

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? I did before the pandemic.

19. Do you have a tan? No, I haven’t gone outside except to get the mail for a few days now since it’s been so cold. I used to tan nicely as a kid but now I burn and get freckles instead.

20. Do you prefer Chinese or pizza? Pizza.

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? I don’t like soda.

22. What color socks do you usually wear? Black, white, or gray.

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I try to stay within 5 mph over it hahaha.

24. What terrifies you? Sharks and rejection and losing people I love.

25. Look to your left, what do you see? Curtains!

26. What chore do you hate most? Cleaning the windows.

27. Wat do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? I try to figure out if it’s an Australian accent or a New Zealand accent by comparing it to how Peter Jackson sounds hahahahaha.

28. What’s your favorite soda? None! I did like cream soda when I was younger though.

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Pre-pandemic I would go into the fast food place.

30. What’s your favorite number? I don’t really have one.

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? My husband.

32. Favorite meat? Does salmon count?

33. Last song you listened to? Like, one that I chose rather than one my toddler wanted to listen to? I can’t remember.

34. Last book you read? I finished The Testaments by Margaret Atwood today (I really liked it).

35. Favorite day of the week? Friday even though days are basically meaningless right now lololol

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? If I think about it.

37. How do you like your coffee? I don’t really like coffee except for a very specific kind of cold brew we had where I used to work.

38. Favorite pair of shoes? A couple years ago I would’ve said my cute brown ankle boots but I’m such a toddler boy mom now that I’m going to have to go with my comfy sneakers hahaha.

39. Time you normally get up? 6:45

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunrises are generally prettier where I live.

41. How many blankets on your bed? Two.

42. Describe your kitchen plates. White with blue trim around the edges.

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment. Clean now that all the sippy cups have been washed.

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? I don’t drink alcohol.

45. Do you play cards? It’s been a while but I know a few games.

46. What color is your car? Blue (with a super cool Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. front license plate!).

47. Can you change a tire? No. I should probably learn how.

48. Your favorite state or province? Pennsylvania has a very special place in my heart since some of my favorite relatives live/grew up there and we got together a lot growing up.

49. Favorite job you’ve had? I’ve actually enjoyed all the jobs I’ve had--tutoring, babysitting, working at a college bookstore, and now editing--except for teaching English at a local community college LOL.

Tagging @agentmanatee, @lilsciencequeen, @nerdlove4thewin, @earnmysong, @besidemethewholedamntime, and whoever else wants to play!

#me #meme

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leopardprintismybrown · 4 years

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Time for confessions

(From Music Life August Issue 1985)

In May, Queen made their sixth visit to Japan. Despite the disturbing rumous of a breakup, the concert was still amazing and once again the Japanese performance was a huge success. After Freddie’s interview for last month’s issue, this month we will share an interview with Roger Taylor and John Deacon. They will be open about confidential topics never shared before: the truth about the breakup, what will happen to Queen…

**********************************************************

★ This was the best tour even according to them

First of all, this year’s concert was awesome. It was very impressive and, in my opinion, it was better than any previous performances.

Roger: Really?! Thank you so much. Even in our opinion, this world tour was the best we’ve ever done.

John: Before coming to Japan, we’ve performed in Australia and New Zealand. Our last time in Australia was nine years ago and this was our first time in New Zealand, but the concert in Sidney was particularly great.

Roger: Exactly. 70000 people attended the 4 concerts in Australia. The tickets were all sold-out and right about that time the album was at the second place, it was amazing. Though, apparently, it was the wrong season. The weather in Australia is usually very nice, but it kept raining throughout our stay!

Well, well… And how was the response of the Japanese audience?

Roger: Very good! It’s not flattery, I’m serious. Since the security was strict, I had the impression that the people weren’t participating as expected, but everyone was singing with us and it was great!

John: Speaking of which, yesterday Roger and I were discussing about how many times we’ve performed at the Budōkan. I guess 15-16 times, maybe 17?

The staging and the set changed but it was as impactful as ever. When did you start with that stage set?

John: After “The Works” was completed. We started with the European tour. Then we toured South America, Brazil… and after that Japan. The one who designed that stage was…

Roger: Me! (laughs) Then with our tour manager we thought of a stage designer in Los Angeles. Basically, it’s the atmosphere of the movie “Metropolis”.

I was overwhelmed by the stage set, but I was really surprised to hear the early Queen numbers such as “Liar” and “Seven Seas of Rhye” because I wasn’t really expecting to hear those songs…

Roger: Uhm, we selected the songs together. The tour with this set started with Europe, but in the middle of it we wanted to include some early songs, too. Then we decided to do a medley with 5 early songs and to put it into the set halfway through the European tour.

John: We’ve played so many songs so far, that I even forgot some of them. It was so hard to remember! (laughs)

★ The scary story behind Rock in Rio

I have a few questions about “Rock in Rio” that took place in Brazil on January of this year. You’ve already played concerts in Brazil so far but this was the first time in Rio, right?

John: Yes, we’ve been to Argentina and Brazil in ‘81, but we only played at Sao Paulo Football Stadium. This was our first time playing in Rio, but the hall and the audience was great.

Roger: It was the biggest concert we ever did. We did two shows, the first day and the Friday night, and each one was attended by 250000 people. Everyone sang with us and the atmosphere was great! There was no violence.

John: And we were lucky. The two nights when we played it didn’t even rain. It was an outdoor location and the rain could have been a problem. The ground gets messy because of the mud... It rained the day Rod Stewart played.

Did you have the chance to watch the performances of other bands?

Roger: Of course. I saw Whitesnake. I also met Cozy and…. Oh yeah, I saw Rod Stewart.

John: I didn’t go… the venue was so distant. However, there are bars with televisions in Brazil and groups of young people watched together the part of the event that was broadcasted every night. AC/DC were good.

Would you care to share some interesting anecdotes?

Roger: Oh! I have a lot, but those are not properly the kind of stories to tell. (laughs) Because it was like a 10 day long party.

John: Oh yes, a lot happened…. Let’s see… The first day we had a hard time. Rio is a traffic jam. For this reason, the people in Rio leave their cars on the road when it gets jammed and walk. So we decided to go the venue by helicopter, just in case. However, the road was not packed at all and we arrived way too early.

Roger: Yes, we had to be at the venue by 6 o’ clock and we couldn’t be late. It’s good that we arrived early, but our set actually started at 2 in the morning! Next time we’ll go by bus no matter what!!

John: Also, it was fun to be able to meet people we haven’t met before. With him (if you look at the picture on ML April Issue, he’s pointing at Neil Murray) it was the first time. Oh, this is a picture we took at the party in the hotel (he’s looking at the picture of Brian with a local fan), Brian looks drunk. He jumped into the pool. (laughs)

What?? I can’t imagine Brian jumping into the pool! Well, now that you say that, his hair and trousers are soaked… Anyway, it looks like you enjoyed “Rock in Rio”! (laughs)

Roger, John: Yes, a lot! (laughs)

★ It was difficult (The Works)

It’s been almost 12 years since Queen was formed…

John: Yes, it’s been 12 years… 12 years! (he suddenly makes the imitation of an old man) 14 years that I’ve known the other members.*

In these years you’ve established your own musical style, you’ve released many wonderful records, and you’ve written a brilliant and shining page in the history of rock. And also, each member is now working individually as a musician. Is there a special reason for working outside of the group?

Roger: Uhm, my personal reason is simply because I like to work.

John: It was very difficult to complete “The Works”, to be honest… Of course, all of us want to pursue Queen. But it’s true that preserving the group is hard. When we entered the studio, we had a lot of expectations but it was as if the time was just flowing rapidly without realizing it… The recording of “The Works” took too much time and it was a bit tiring. Four people were not on the same page, musically speaking... though, of course, we made it work in the end, somehow. But this is the case for every band that has been around for years.

It must be difficult, because every member of Queen is an independent musician.

John: The next plan is to take a break for a while and then go back to the studio around November. This time we’re also going to change the producer.

Do you already have ideas for the new album?

Roger: I have something vague in my mind, but nothing concrete. I want to do something different from “The Works”. I think that “The Works” is a good album with a mix of modern and old elements, but we have to keep changing. “Tonight” by David Bowie was a mistake, in my opinion. The album was released too soon and it hadn’t changed enough.

★ Break up? We will someday

Do you want to do something in particular in your time off? Is John going to make a solo album?

John: I thought about it. I went to a little studio in London but I don’t have time to think during tours. But when it comes to singing… I’m sorry, but I need to get someone’s help for the song. (laughs)

And Roger? Are you going to make a third solo album?

Roger: I have no plans for a solo album but I’m producing something, lately. Sideway Look, Jimmy Nail… Jimmy Nail made it to the top 20 in the UK charts. It was the first record I produced, so it’s all the more satisfying!

Are there any musicians or bands you want to produce in the future?

Roger: Yes, a lot. Jeff Beck, and also Rod Stewart. It looks like we can do a good job.

Have you listened to Freddie’s solo album?

John: I’ve listened to some songs, but not to the whole album, yet. “Made in Heaven” is a good song.

Roger: The one I like more is “Made in Heaven”, too.

Finally, I’d like to ask a slightly more serious question. There’s been rumours about Queen breaking up…

Roger: (bursts into laughter) Mwahahahah…

Of course, I don’t want to believe in these rumours, but I’d like to know the truth.

John: Well, someday we will breakup. But does anybody know when this someday will be?

Roger: In these 14 years, we’ve always denied with a firm “NO!” whenever someone asked about Queen breaking up. That’s just a rumour. There are absolutely no plans to break up at the present day. I wonder if everyone wants Queen to break up so bad... (laughs)

John: Certainly, touring is getting harder, because we have to completely change the shows and the approach. But it’s been decided that we’ll work on the new album starting from November.

Please continue your work with Queen forever, no matter what form you want it to take in the future. I think this is the wish of all the fans.

Roger, John: Thank you very much. You’re right, that is way better than breaking up.

Ok, this is really the last question. What do you want to do in the future as members of Queen and as individuals?

Roger: Personally, I want more kids! (laughs) As a Queen member, I want to be more successful in America. It’s true that we have a certain notoriety in America, but the last album didn’t sell that well… Well, there are ups and downs in everything. That’s why I want to hit big in America again. To achieve that, we must do a looooong tour centered in Midwest. (laughs)

Roger and John have clearly denied the breaking up of Queen. They’ve talked about ambitions for the future, like achieving a bigger success in America. Their eyes focused on the future have still not lost their glow.

*I don’t own the magazine where this interview was released so I cannot double check. I think the numbers have been reversed because Queen formed in 1970 before John met them. And if you read further below, Roger mentions 14 years of activity.

**********************************************************

A/N: As always, I am not an English native speaker, so forgive any possible error. Also, remember that translating into a foreign language is difficult and I hope I have preserved the original meaning.

#translated by me #music life #music life magazine #queen #queen interview #queen in japan #80s #80s Queen #roger taylor #freddie mercury #Brian May #John Deacon #rock in rio #1985 #the works

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jwywrld · 4 years

Text

voicemail

genre: fluff & slight angst

pairing: jung wooyoung (ateez) x fem reader

word count: 1900+ words

warnings: mention of loss of loved ones

summary: you don’t like phone calls but your history partner, wooyoung, insists on calling you for your project. frankly, he just wants to hear your voice.

a/n: hii i’m rly new to writing and this is my first post :) i’m rly nervous shdjs hope you like it! if i made any typos or errors i’m so sorry (also the title sucks im so sorry i really didn’t know what to name it)

ring! ring!

with a roll of your eyes, you pick up your phone. “ugh who is it. don’t they know i hate phone calls?” looking at the caller id, you saw that it was your history partner, wooyoung.

“hey! i heard we’re paired together for the history project!” a black haired boy chirped, bouncing up to you. “yeah.” you replied with a sigh. it was wooyoung, the nicest and most cheerful boy in your class. he seemed nice but you thought it was all an act. how could anyone be so nice to everyone all the time? it’s probably just to gain popularity. he was kinda cute though you had to admit. “great! just give me your number so we can work on it together.” he smiled, handing you his phone. after you keyed in your phone number, you turned and left, asking him to text you when he wanted to work on the project.

feeling your phone vibrate in your hand, you looked at it, seeing it was a text from an unknown number.

Unknown Number: hi! is this y/n?

y/n: who are you?

Unknown Number: it’s wooyoung, your history partner

y/n: oh

wooyoung my history partner: can we start on the history project now? i wanna start on it earlier so we don’t have to rush it

y/n: can we start tomorrow

kinda tired now

wooyoung my history partner: sure! :)

“hello?”

“hi y/n!”

“why did you call me?”

“um.. because we have to work on the project?”

“wow didn’t know that. i meant why did you have to call me. can’t we just text?”

“calling is waaaayyy easier though!”

“i don’t like phone calls.”

“wha—”

you hung up.

about 3 seconds later, you got a text from wooyoung.

wooyoung my history partner: HEY!! why’d u do that! >:0

y/n: i told you. i don’t like phone calls. can’t we discuss over text?

wooyoung my history partner: No.

y/n: ugh

fine.

wooyoung my history partner: :D

immediately after, you heard your phone ring again. you sighed and picked it up.

“so... we have to choose between the mexican-american war or the cold war right?” you asked.

the two of you talked about the project for about an hour, researching and sharing the information you had found with each other, then collating it. in between, you guys made small talk and he told you a few jokes, causing you to let out small chuckles.

“ok that’s it for today. i still have work to do.” you said, your brain not being able to take any more history.

“ok bye—”

that wasn’t that bad! maybe phone calls weren’t as bad as you thought they were.

about 3 days later, you were practising some math questions. however, no matter how many times you tried it, you just couldn’t understand it. you decided to move on to the next question, only to find out that you were stuck as wel. frustrated, you felt the wet hot tears build up in your eyes. why do i have to be so dumb? why can’t i understand it right away? to make it worse, your exams were in two weeks and you had so much to catch up on. sitting at your table, you sobbed, the tears streaming down your cheeks uncontrollably.

feeling your phone vibrate furiously on the table, you saw that wooyoung was calling you. you declined it, wiping the tears away from your face.

wooyoung my history partner: why did you decline my call :((

y/n: do we really have to call???

wooyoung my history partner: i don’t understand! why do you hate calling people so much?

“y/n, your dad and i are going to be staying in New Zealand for a while to take care of gramps. i know you’re only 16 and it’ll be hard to be living alone but we’ll try to be back as soon as possible. we promise.”

“mom... why do i have to be left alone here?”

“sweetie.. we don’t have a choice.. gramps is really sick and needs someone to take care of him. i promise we’ll be back as soon as we can.”

those were the last words you had heard from your parents before they had gotten into a serious car accident right afteryour grandpa had passed. you had prayed for them to be okay for days, but to no avail. they had passed, leaving you, a 16 year old girl to fend for herself. after that incident, phone calls only reminded you of the day when the nurse had called you, informing you that your parents didn’t make it. it was one of the hardest years of your life, having to cope with the loss of your parents, grandpa and also having to get used to being alone. it had been 2 years and your aunt had been paying for the bills, insisting that you only repay her in the future when you had a stable job and income.

y/n: idk

wooyoung my history partner: wtv i’m still calling you idc

accepting defeat, you picked up the call, trying to calm your shaky voice.

“hi.” you said softly, your voice quivering.

“y/n? are you okay?” the concern in his voice genuine.

how did he pick that up from one word???

“yeah i’m fine. let’s just do this.” you sniffed.

“i’m not stupid y/n. but if you don’t wanna talk about it that’s okay.”

“thank you.” you croaked.

you let him do most of the talking while you typed down the points. after the discussion, you completely broke down again. not only because of stress but also because wooyoung’s question had reminded you of your parents.

“mom... dad... why did you have to go... i miss you so much. when can ever be happy again?”

after a week of calling wooyoung on the phone and discussing, you realised that you actually enjoyed talking to him. you also learned some things about him like how he was afraid of bugs and loved puppies. you also heard him talk about his younger brother and how much he missed him while he was staying at the dorms in school.

wooyoung my history partner: helloooo do you wanna meet tmr after school at the library to do the board

y/n: ok

wooyoung my history partner: can you bring the board & markers? i’ll bring paper & glue.

y/n: ok

wooyoung my history partner: ugh you’re such a dry texter

y/n: what did you expect me to reply to that???

wooyoung my history partner: ...

idk

y/n: exactly.

wooyoung my history partner: ok wtv see you tomorrow!!! :))

y/n: c u 2

why did you feel so nervous at the thought of meeting him tomorrow?

“hey woo” it was a nickname you had given him in the past week, thinking it was short and cute.

“hey y/n! did you bring the stuff?”

“yup”

“ok great”

you worked side by side, writing down the different notes and points, blushing when your hands accidentally brushed and mumbling a small ‘sorry’.

after two hours, your board was finally done!

“all that’s left to do is present”

“ugh that’s the WORST part”

“come onn y/n you know it’s graded! so let’s just do it properly”

a day later, before you called to practise your presentation. a thougut you had been pushing back popped into your head.

what happens to us after this project? i still want to stay friends. will he just pretend like nothing happened?

worry creeped in at the thought of being alone again without having anyone to talk to, even if the two of you did not talk much in school. however, others had noticed him occasionally staring at you during classes or breaks.

halfway through practising the presentation, curiosity and fear kicked in and you couldn’t help but blurt out

“woo what’ll happen to us after.. you know.. this?”

“what do you mean?”

“are we still gonna be.. friends?”

“why shouldn’t we be???”

“i don’t know.. i just thought.. maybe you wouldn’t have a reason to hang out with me anymore..”

“what?? you’re crazy. of course we can still be friends!! anyway let’s drop this subject and continue from where we left off.”

after hearing his words, you felt assured and relaxed. when another question popped into your head.

“woo? why do you like calling me so much?”

“i just... it’s just... weren’t we talking about the first phase of the cold war?” he cleared his throat.

“wooooooo~ you didn’t answer my question” you whined.

“how about we just focus on the project y/n?”

about half a year passed and you and wooyoung had soon become best friends. you facetimed each other everyday, talking about how your day went or ranting about the annoying teachers and classmates. you had told him about your parents, explaining why you were awkward and dry with people

what he didn’t know was that you had quickly developed feelings for him, but hiding it because you were scared of how he would react and afraid that you might lose your relationship with him.

it was one of the rare occasions when you were at his dorm, seated beside each other on the purple velvet sofa, just enjoying each other’s company while watching a movie.

“woo, remember when i asked you that question like. a while ago?”

“what question”

“why did you like calling me so much?”

“well... i... i... i guess i just had to do the history project with you?”

“we both know we could have just made a google document... so... why? i’m honestly soooo curious so just tell meeeeeee”

“fine. ijustlikedhearingyourvoiceiguess” he replied, cheeks turning pink.

“... you what”

“i just.. wanted to hear your voice you know?”

“oh”

“anyway y/n. what i’m trying to say is. i like you. a lot. i- i was scared to say this to you because i don’t want to lose our friendship but.. i don’t think i can keep this in anymore. i like you, y/n.”

gasping at his sudden confession and not knowing how to react, you just stared at him with wide eyes.

“ah shit i’ve screwed this up. i’m sorry y/n just. please ignore what i said.” he bit his lip.

“i... i- may or may not like you too?” you managed to squeak out, cheeks rosy.

suddenly, you felt a pair of lips on yours, eyes widening at his sudden movement. it was a short but sweet kiss, causing you to turn even redder than you already were.

“oh god y/n you don’t know how worried i’ve been about this. i’m so glad that you.. feel the same away about me!” he babbled.

“i..i’m afraid though, woo. what if... what if i lose you too? like i lost my parents.” your voice started to shake and tears welled up in your eyes at the thought of that.

he cupped your face in his hand, wiping your tears with his thumb.

“hey.. don’t say that alright? i’m here. i’m right here. i’m not leaving you.”

he pulled you in for a hug while you cried into his chest, letting the tears run. he held you in his arms until you stopped crying.

“how ‘bout i take you out on a date this saturday hm? how’s that sound?” he said, lifting your chin up so you would meet his eyes.

“great!” you smiled softly, melting into his gaze.

the next two hours were just spent cuddling, your head pressed against his chest, breathing in his scent while your legs were tangled up and he played with your hair and left little kisses on your head. it was the first time in a long time you had felt so happy, heart fluttering and exploding because you knew, finally, you weren’t alone anymore. wooyoung was here. and that was all that mattered.

#ateez fluff #ateez wooyoung #ateez au #ateez x reader #ateez #jung wooyoung #ateez soft hours #kpop #kpop au #kpop fluff #wooyoung #wooyoung fluff #wooyoung au #wooyoung x reader #kpop x reader #fluff

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fire2forge · 3 years

Text

Looking back...

March 15th 2020. My ship said goodbye to to our last guests. We pulled into Miami, let everyone off and left to go drift out with all the other cruise ships. At the time we all thought that it would truly be a 30 day pause in operations, we know now how naïve that was.

I’ll admit for awhile it was nice. Crew had the run of the ship, bars were open earlier, we had very little work to do, late nights out having fun, all kinds of activities. We were all so confident that covid hadn’t made it to our ship, that we were all safe, and this was just gonna be a 30 day vacation.

Cut to the 21st:

We come to find out later that this unannounced drill was our super-spreader event. Because no-one knew it was a drill, everyone that was in isolation came out (we thought the ship was on fire)...by the time it was announced it was a drill and those confined should not leave it was to late...

Cut to the 24th:

I go back to medical later in the day, and after testing negative for the flu, am given a mask and told I was not allowed to leave my cabin (I luckily did not have a room mate), unless it was to come back for daily temp checks.

I find out later on that unknown to most of us we had a lot of people that had quietly been put into isolation (in a crew of 2000+, it’s easy to not notice). This was also the day of our first major repatriation effort 700 crew (mainly cruise division) where slated to fly...only a few did.

Cut to the 28th:

The first PCR tests are done onboard, sometime in the afternoon the Captain comes on and says we have one positive case. A few hours later its 14 confirmed cases, and everyone is told to return to their cabins until further notice (We never had an official announcement given after the first 14, but it was well over 100 cases by the end). The ship has just entered lock down.

On the 29th All crew got moved into guest rooms, this was both because of an order from the CDC, and so that the many smoker’s would be able to smoke on the balconies. We had different zones to divide everyone up:

Red Zone for confirmed cases, Orange for suspected/been in contact with, and the rest for supposedly healthy. It’s here that I note that even though I had already been in isolation for days, had a constant cough, and had had a fever (that by then had broken) I was never tested, nor was I put into orange zone.

At this point no one can leave cabins (excluding those working crew) and the company has started to realize that they need to get everyone back home as soon as possible. Repatriation efforts start to really kick into gear.

We stayed in what would eventually be labeled Phase 1 for 29 days. We entered Phase 2 April 26th.

PHASE 1

During the initial phase, all crew got asked if they wanted to stay onboard (unpaid), basically for those who didn’t want to or couldn’t go home for any reason. This would become Group 3. I was part of this group, for many reasons I did not want to go home, so the free room and board was perfect for me, and many of my friends. This is the sole reason I was onboard for so long, not because of anything the company did.

Those that did want to go home became group 2, many of them would end up waiting months before their country opened up and flights could be made, I remember how at the end of March beginning of April, we would constantly here from the Capt that some nationality was going to fly that day, only for him to come back and say that the got denied at some point in the process and would be coming back onboard.

Those few that were still getting paid, still had a job because someone had to run the ship became known as Group 1.

I don’t really remember that much from this time, the days really started to blend and the isolation was not helping anything. While people in the US where throwing fits over “Shelter in Place” orders, I was not allowed to leave a room that was roughly 20′x10′. They complained about not being able to see friends, I only saw 1 person a day (one of my managers twice a day for temp checks, approx. 5 second visits each). They complained that stores had limited hours, I had no store, I had limited choice in food, I had no ability to get snacks, it was 3 meals a day that’s it, you want some chips at 3pm to bad dinner won’t come till 6pm. (eventually they sorted out a system so we could by snacks, beer, cigs, and bathroom supplies). To top this all off we had no access to laundry services till round April 5th, I was put in isolation before everyone else, I had not done my laundry for a week before hand....I was struggling.

Looking through some old notes, apparently at one point I had made a schedule, Breakfast 9-10...Read till 11....Listen to the crew radio show 11-1...Lunch 12-1...Nap...Dinner 5-6...Sleep. Very stimulating days we had.

A month of solitude was not easy, especially when you keep hearing about crew members being denied entry into their own countries, the media blaming the industry as a whole for covid reached the US, constantly thinking our quarantine was gonna end only for it to be extended, and not seeing or really speaking to anyone the entire time. But a light at the end of the tunnel...Phase 2

PHASE 2

April 26th we got let out....kinda...

Split down the Middle...people on Portside got let out for 3 hours, then People on Starboard got let out for 3 hours (this excluded anyone in red or orange zone). After our “yard time” we went back to our cabins. Once a week you could go down and purchase up to 4 items from the slop chest (the crew shop). Everyone was wearing masks, the only time we weren’t is if we were smoking, one person per ashtray spaced about 8ft apart.

At some point during this time the Captain made a comment on how in hindsight we should of went straight into lockdown on March 15th, that we should of done 2 weeks then instead of over a month now.

We still had 2 temp checks a day (done door to door), and all meals were still delivered. There is a reason we joked about it being yard time, because it really was. You got to get some fresh air and maybe see a few friends that was it....Luckily it didn’t last long we entered phase 3 on May 12th.

But before that a note. By this time the fleet had started using our own ships to transport crew home, aka one ship sailed a bunch of people over to India. Along with that some people were getting lucky enough to have flights. So my ship was constantly losing people, either because they got a flight home or where being moved onto another ship. If I remember correctly our largest sign off was ~500 Filipinos, it was a hectic time in crew movement, by the time we got into Phase 3 we only had a few hundred people on board if memory serves right.

PHASE 3

We could finally be outside for as long as we wanted, no more restricted movement. Meals where in the large guest buffet area (seating 1 or 2 people a table only, all distanced), temp checks where done at division based locations, for me that was the theatre (still two a day)....that’s basically the only change.

We still had to wear masks at all times, we were still supposed to keep distance, no groups, no going into each others cabins, no fun nights out...in theory.

The first few days in Phase 3 we ended up signing off almost everyone that was in Group 2, by May 20th we were at minimum manning +16 Group 3 (in total about 100 people). It was then that we went back to eating in the crew mess and the restrictions where unofficially forgotten about.

When I say this you must keep in mind that at this point it had been almost 3 months since any of us had touched land, and a solid month and a half since we had a positive case. Much like New Zealand and Australia now, we no longer had to worry about covid. We still wore masks around the ship (thanks to the CDC), but unless Chief Safety caught you no one was gonna look twice at a large group eating at one table, or a group staying up late drinking and playing cards (guilty of that)...By the end of May it was almost like we had regained some normalicy...so of course it couldn’t last...

MOVING SHIP

May 21st, Group 3 got a notice that we would be transferred to another ship in the fleet to consolidate all of us together. They said it would be a few weeks before this transfer...We finally got moved on June 22nd.

As of today March 16th 2021 a full year after we stopped sailing, the last remaining Group 2 and Group 3 people from my company have gotten home, those that were in Group 2 came from Vietnam, and Trinidad and Trabago it took a year to finally get them home...let that sink in.

...

And here is where i’ll end this tale, if anyone is interested in knowing about life on the 2nd and 3rd ship I got transferred to before going home in December, let me know i’ll type something up.

#cruise crew #Cruise Ship #covid #crew #long post #there is so much i didn't put down #all the little things #all the rules #all the shit the cdc did to us and still is doing #a lot of nuance #is lost here as i tried to make it not a super long post #as well as keep it vague what company i work with #and don't get the wrong idea here i will be the 1st one back on a ship #i just felt like doing a retrospective on how my covid experiance differed from others #maybe its because my friends from the ship just got home and seeing them reacting to just everything that's changed ....#well it got me thinking

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vicky82gargoylesfan · 4 years

Text

My Theory on The Tracy’s Ages

Please do not copy and re post on other websites.

Here's my theory on Tracy's ages and the years they were born.

They are younger than there original show counterparts but Alan seems to be a lot younger than his counterpart. They have the same birth dates as the original show. According to this website Filmed in Super Marionation Tracy’s profiles, Scott is 11 years older than Alan, so i'm sticking with that age gap.

Here's my guess at there birth years, (I even worked out when they they were conceived, I used a conceived calculator thing on a website)

Scott - Conceived July 2034 - Born - 4th April 2035 Virgil - Conceived November 2035 - Born 15th August 2036 John - Conceived February 2038 - Born 28th October 2038 Gordon - Conceived May 2040 - Born 14th February 2041 Alan - Conceived June 2045 - Born 12th March 2046

There is a possibility that there Mum got pregnant with Virgil 7 months after Scott was born, ok it's not recommended to get pregnant after given birth so soon, but it does happen in the real life (I know someone got pregnant 5 months after giving birth. it could be why Scott and Virgil are so close.

There is 5 years difference between Gordon and Alan, so why the big age gap. It's hard to know if any of the brothers were born early, on time or late but if I had to guess, Gordon could of been born premature, so that could be the reason for the age gap. But there could of been another reason and that could be when Jeff and Captain Taylor went to Mars for the 1st time between 2041 - 2045, so that could be the main reason. I'm going to stick with that theory and the brothers were born on time.

I seem to remember Rob Hoegee saying that every season is a year, so season 1 - 2060/61, season 2 -2061/62, season 3 - 2062/63. Virgil said in Signals part 1 that there Father had been missing almost 8 years, so he had been missing 6 years when the show started, so he probably went missing in 2054 and depending how long it took Gordon to heal and getting the new Zero XL built, Jeff could of been missing 8 1/2 to 9 years by the time they rescued him.

If I had to guess when there Mum died I would probably say around or before 2050 Jeff disappeared in 2054 Depending when the episode Breakdown happened, Virgil could of been 23 years old when the show started and he turned 24 in Breakdown, or the episode happened in 2061 and he turned 25 years old in Breakdown

Scott - 19 in 2054, 25 in 2060, 28 in 2063 Virgil - 18 in 2054, 24 in 2060, 27 in 2063 John - 16 in 2054, 22 in 2060, 25 in 2063 Gordon - 13 in 2054, 19 in 2060 22 in 2063 Alan - 8 in 2054, 14 in 2060, 17 in 2063

Alan must be at least 14 when the show started, I know it's weird that a 14 year old could fly a rocket in space but don't forget it's 2060 so there could be different laws, also IR is the Tracy's independent rescue company and there Dad was a colonel, so maybe Alan had special permission.

Alan was learning to drive in the episode Designated Driver, the age of learning to driving is 16 -18 depends which country they go by, so as it's a British show they could be going by UK laws which is 17. Rob Hoegee is American and the Tracy's were originally from America, so they could be go by USA law which is 16, Tracy Island is near Australia and New Zealand so they could be going by there laws, which is 17/18 in Australia and 16 in New Zealand. But as it's 2060 laws could have changed, so the age of learning to drive could probably be lowered.

Alan graduated from school in the last episode, again depending which country they go by (UK, America, Australia and New Zealand) it's between 16 -18, so i'm sticking with him being 17 when he graduated. I know he fell behind in his work at one point but he could of caught up.

Also due to Alan being at least 5 years younger than Gordon, Alan said in Home on the Range he was away at school, and in Life Signs it seems that he didn't seem to take part in any training with the others.

I would like to guess Kayo's and Lady Penelope ages too but it's more difficult, but if I had to guess Kayo is 20 and Lady Penelope is 23 in 2060

#thunderbirds are go

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arsonandhockey · 4 years

Text

I was tagged by @ahoswhiskers thanks dude 💞

50 questions

1) what is the color of your hairbrush? I don’t use a hair brush since my hair is really short but I do use a black I think bone comb I got at a muster.

2) name a food you never eat? I refuse to eat liver and other internal organs, also corn on the cob.

3) are you typically too warm or too cold? I really don't get cold easily but I do over heat

4) what were you doing 45 mins ago? I was in the car on the way back from Maine

5) what's your favorite candy bar? I don't really like candy that much but chocolate

6) have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes, I went to a boston Red Sox game a few years back

7) what was the last thing you said out loud? ‘oh god I can't remember’ me talking to myself about this

8) what is your favorite ice cream? Chocolate earl grey, it is amazing

9) what was the last thing you had to drink? some water with lemon in it

10) do you like your wallet? no I do not, I really don't like how it looks. I want like a cool leather one

11) what was the last thing you ate? I ate some popcorn

12) did you buy any new clothing last weekend? I didn’t

13) what’s the last sporing event you watched? hockey, both on line and in person

14) what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Cheddar cheese

15) who was the last person you sent a text to? one of my friends, i was complaining

16) ever go camping? yes I hate it

17) do you take your vitamins? I do

18) do you regularly attend a place of worship? before corona I did, I go to a uu church, but now I sometimes go to it on line

19) do you have a tan? ha ha ha no

20) do you prefer Chinese or pizza? pizza, there is almost always a gluten free option

21) do you drink soda through straws? sometimes.

22) what color socks do you usually wear? pink and grey, blue and grey or black and grey

23) do you ever drive above the speed limit? I don't drive but im from new England so yes

24) what terrifies you? not much

25) look to you left, what do you see? I see my water bottle and a calculator

26) what chore do you hate the most? cleaning the cat box

27) what do you think when you her an Australian accent? Tikka wattie I know he's from new Zealand but that's I think of

28) what's your favorite soda? fanta

29) do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? I really don't go to fast food places

30) what's your favorite number? 42

31) who's the last person you talked to? my mom

32) favorite cut of beef? uhh idk

33) last song you listened to? hey there Delilah

34) last book you read? the martian

35) favorite day of the week? Monday or Friday

36) can you say the alphabet backwards? not yet

37) how do you like your coffee? no thanks

38) favorite pare of shoes? most comfortable are my drill shoes but my favorite ones are my dark red doc Martens

39) time you normally get up? 7 or 7:30

40) do you prefer sunrise or sunset? sunrise

41) describe your kitchen plates? white

42) how many blankets on your bed? rn one

43) describe your kitchen at the moment? with lots of fruit on the counter

44) do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? no, I am under 21

45) do you play cards? I don't often

46) what color is your car? I don't drive

47) can you change a tire? no, I need to learn how to

48) favorite state? Massachusetts obviously

49) favorite job you’ve had? I haven't had one yet

50) I tag: @goalies @chaospitals @cahtahhaht but y'all don't have to do this at all

#tag games

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downwiththeficness · 4 years

Text

A Need So Great-Chapter 8

Word Count: ~7,100

Warnings: Drugs, smut

Taglist: @dirtynerdy98 @1zashreena1 @heresathreebee @deliciouslyclassytrash @maybege @kid-from-new-zealand

Okay, so I know that this isn’t exactly how a contact high works, but I wanted the funny moment. Suspend your disbelief a little further than it already is for me.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.5, 9, 10, 10.5, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

“No,” she said, jabbing a finger at Javier, “I’m not doing this.”

“C’mon,” he replied, gesturing with both hands, “It’ll be a half hour, max.”

She sneered, occupying her hands with packing her bag instead of punching him like she wanted to. He was smiling in that way he did when he knew that he would get his way. A self satisfied smirk that made her want to throw something at him.

“A half hour of your time. You’ll walk in, look around, walk out.”

Eva glared at him, “I have plans.”

And, she did. Though his evenings were often spent working into the night, Eva had been out with him several times over the last few weeks. She was looking forward to yet another night checking herself for talking too much and watching him smile wide enough that she could see his dimples.

“Push ‘em back.”

She scoffed, “I’m not pushing back plans to work in the field, which you remember that I’m not supposed to be doing.”

He waved her off, “It’ll be fine. You’re walking into a bar, looking around, and walking out.”

“I’m not walking into any bar!”

“Well, that’s a shame.”

Eva spun around, letting out a breath as Horacio slowed to a stop, his jacket over one arm.

“Hey,” she said, her voice a hitch pitched wheeze. “I’m just gonna...finish packing up.”

He eyed the others in the room, “What’s going on?”

Steve, who had been silent for nearly the whole argument, pushed from his position against his desk, “We got a lead on a back end shipment of drugs—low level, nothing serious. And, we thought since Eva is so good at sniffing these things out, she could maybe stop by the bar and see if she could pin point where they were stashing them.”

“So basically,” Eva added, sarcasm in her voice, “They want me to do their job for them.”

Javier ran a hand over his face, “That’s not what we’re asking you to do.”

Eva glared at him a second time, one hand on her hip.

“You are good at it,” Horacio offered.

She turned her glare on him, “You’re on their side?”

He held up a hand defensively, “I’m not on sides, just stating facts.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Okay, listen. Eva, you just go in, look around, leave. You don’t even have to order a drink. Half an hour, tops.”

Her mouth thinned as she looked at all three men, who were apparently agreeing with one another. Although they’d had plenty of arguments, it was the first time they were all on the same side and it was...disconcerting.

Horacio slipped his arms into his jacket, “Half an hour. And, she gets the day off tomorrow. Javi, you’ll cover for her. Tell them you sent files to her apartment or something.”

Okay, maybe he was a little on her side.

Javier nodded, “Done.”

“Good, what’s the address?”

Eva blinked, wondering what the fuck had just happened. She watched as Horacio listened to the address, grabbed her purse, and guided her out of the office. It took her until they were on the road for her brain to finally catch up.

“Did you just negotiate a paid day off for me?”

He glanced over at her and smiled, “You need it. They’re working you too hard.”

“You’re one to talk about working too hard.”

This was true. Even when he was supposed to be relaxed, his mind would still wander away to work periodically. She could by the way his eyes went just a little cold. There was nothing to be done about it. This was the toll the work took on a person, no matter how strong.

“Point taken,” he retorted, pulling into a parking lot.

The bar looked like any other, populated by locals, busy. She squinted at it, wondering how they got shipments in and out.

“Listen,” she said, reaching out to touch his forearm, “I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier. I was frustrated that I keep getting pulled into these things, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it, “You’re fine. And, you should be frustrated because you’re right. You’re doing their leg work.”

Eva turned her gaze back to the bar, “I don’t actually mind doing a little reconnaissance, but I’m supposed to be spending time with someone I like, not warding off advances from drunk assholes while I try to figure out where the drugs are coming in at.”

Horacio’s grip on her hand tightened a fraction, “I think I can help with that.”

She looked at him, intrigued, “Yeah?”

He hummed in assent, turning her hand over and pressing his mouth the inside of her wrist. Eva felt her breath stutter as he kissed it gently, his eyes finding hers and holding. He rolled his tongue over the sensitive skin, tasting. Her breath stopped entirely. He gave her wrist another little kiss, then reached for her other hand. He was marking her and she was letting him. It surprised her how little that bothered her in that moment. She was even excited about the thought of carrying his scent with her into that bar. There wouldn’t be a single man in there, alpha or otherwise, who wouldn’t know she was with someone, despite the fact that she was clearly unmated.

Eva shivered, her mouth parting on a soft moan. Unable to stand it a moment longer, she leaned over and kissed him. The position was a little awkward, the console digging into her hip, but well worth the discomfort. She started to pull back and he stopped her.

Against her mouth, he said, “Half an hour. After that, I’m coming in after you.”

Shaking her head, she teased, “Won’t that be a little suspicious, me coming in, looking around, and leaving with the police. You’re like a minor celebrity here, you know.”

He lifted a brow, “I’ll make it look like an arrest.”

At this she laughed, leaning back into the seat, “You just want to see if I can still get out of the cuffs. Admit it.”

Releasing her, he regarded her with a curious gaze, “I admit that I really want to know how you learned to do it.”

Eva opened the door, saying over her shoulder, “I’ll never tell.”

She caught him saying ‘we’ll see about that’ as she shut the door and headed for the entrance. The place was pretty standard, as far as bars went. There was a band playing, so she could count on almost everyone being at least a little distracted by the music. At least, distracted enough not to notice that she wasn’t drinking and wasn’t dancing. She made a circuit around the room, trying to think of how she would have hidden an illegal shipment back in the day.

It certainly wouldn’t have been at a bar. Josh had been against establishments like this, thought they were places for degenerates. Fifteen years later and she could finally roll her eyes at the hypocrisy of his entire personality. It felt like a big middle finger to even the memory of him to be frequenting bars—it was one of the first things she did when she was released.

But, where would she hide something she didn’t want to be found in a place like this. Not behind the bar. Bartenders couldn’t always be trusted, too much turnover, too easy to buy. Not in the store room, too much traffic. Eva made another lap, pretending to be looking at the art on the walls. There had to be an office.

She went to the back and had to dodge one of the staff by stepping into the bathroom. So she had time to think, she went into one of the stalls and sat. The place looked clean, at least from the outside. She couldn’t even find an entrance that would support a trailer backing up to it to move the goods. Although, it would be smart to access from underground...

Standing, she gave the toilet an unnecessary flush and left the bathroom, moving further down the hall. The office door was open a crack, and she took a moment to check to see if anyone was watching before she touched the door to open it further. Empty. Empty and boring.

With a huff, Eva stood next to the emergency exit and leaned against the wall, staring at a picture of a dog. Just an ordinary dog standing at attention. It looked...bland. Like it had been purchased at a big box store and hung without ceremony. Which, made her think it was odd. The rest of the art in the place was from local artists, price tags written in neat handwriting beside each one.

The dog was looking at something out of the frame. Eva followed the direction of its snout to...a window. It was covered in a frosty film to obscure the outside. She stood on tip toes to see if she could see where it was pointing, both hands leaning into the sill—which moved.

Did everyone have a thing about hidden doors in this country?

Looking over her shoulder, Eva stepped inside. She was not alone. The room was small, basically a cupboard, but it led to another room where a pair of men were talking. Talking and toking. The smell of weed was pungent enough that her nose wrinkled. Although Eva had been pretty well inured to pot while she was with Josh, she hadn’t had a moment that she didn’t feel watched by her superiors since she’d signed the contract. Any opportunity she had to partake was overshadowed by the possibility of a drug test. Every breath she took made her want to cough. She held it in before taking deep breaths in an attempt to keep her cover.

She couldn’t understand a word they were saying, but Eva was able to duck down enough that she could see inside the room they were talking in. They were sitting in lawn chairs, passing a blunt between them, the smoke billowing out towards her due to the fans that were running lazily nearby.

Eva squinted, they were...thawing ice. Gigantic ice cubes sat on a table, little kiddie pools sitting below them to catch the runoff. She stared at them and almost laughed. They’d frozen the weed into ice cubes in an attempt to mask the smell. That was definitely new. She sat for a few minutes, trying to see if she could spot a company name that they were shipping under. She got nothing.

Knowing that she was on borrowed time, Eva backed up and peered out into the hallway to make sure the coast was clear before she stepped out of the little cupboard and closed the door behind her. She exited the bar in the least suspicious way she could manage, finally giving in to the urge to cough as she made it outside.

Across the parking lot, she could see that Carrillo was watching for her. With quick steps, she headed for him, climbing up into the truck.

“You see anything interesting?” he asked as she pulled the seat belt over her torso.

Eva nodded, “Let’s maybe get a few blocks from here before I start explaining.”

He turned the engine over, “Javier and Steve are not too far away.”

“Good,” she said, wondering why her eyes were so damn dry. “They can write up the report.”

Eva rubbed carefully at her eyes, trying not to disturb her mascara. She just felt...dry. Her eyes, her throat.

“You okay?”

She blinked, “Yeah, I’m okay. Allergies.”

He was right, Javier and Steve weren’t far away, a matter of a few blocks and one four way stop. They were sitting at an outdoor cafe, drinking beer. Eva took the one that was offered to her, drinking deep. It was a moment before she realized that they were waiting for her to talk.

“Oh, right,” she said, setting the bottle down. “I mean, pretty simple operation. They’ve got a false door behind the window in the back by the picture of the dog. They’re putting the product in ice to conceal the smell, although I don’t know that it would fool a trained dog. Back room is where they melt it down, probably where they weigh it, too.”

Javier stared at her, “That’s it.”

She frowned, “I’m sorry, has it escaped your notice that I’ve now found two caches of illegal substances? I know you were looking for coke and not pot, but ‘That’s it?’ Seriously?”

Even Eva could admit to herself that she was snapping at him, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. This would have been a perfect night for a date. A little balmy, warm enough that she didn’t need a jacket. She could have gone to that bar to dance with Horacio, but no, she went to sneak around. The whole thing annoyed her.

Javier rolled his eyes, “Thank you.”

“That was really sincere. I appreciate the sincerity,” her tone was biting.

He frowned, “What is with you today?”

Eva breathed deep and dropped her head into her hands. Horacio’s scent was still there, a warm, sweet thing that mellowed her ire. She inhaled it in an attempt to distract herself.

“Nothing,” she said, eventually, “Just, forget about it.”

And, that seemed to satisfy him, if no one else at the table. Steve was eyeing her with that curious expression he used when he wanted to ask a question, but wouldn’t. Beside her, Horacio laid a hand on her hip with just the slightest pressure. She leaned into it, grateful for the support.

“We could raid it tonight,” Javier said as he lit a cigarette.

Dear God, Eva thought with ire, I might as well go home now. Any hope she might have had of picking up their date was gone. At least she’d get to sleep with his scent wrapped around her, if not his body. He’d make sure she got home, kiss her goodnight, and then go off to raid a bar. She’d be a little lonely, but that stupid hope for a better tomorrow would be there. It would have been sad, except this same situation had happened once before, over and over when she’d been married—different players, same game—and Eva found that karma was certainly one hell of a bitch.

It said something for her state of mind that she didn’t realize she was laughing until her stomach started hurting. She drew in a breath, dropping her hands to the table.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she breathed, “I’ve just had the worst case of déjà vu.”

Steve ran a hand through his hair, “You want to share with the class?”

Eva shook her head, “Nope.”

It was then that Eva knew something wasn’t right. She usually wasn’t this argumentative—stubborn, yes, but not outright argumentative. She had better manners than that—oh, fuck. Eva closed her eyes and tried not to freak out. It was just a tiny contact high. She could manage it—in front of a high ranking police officer and two DEA agents. This was doable. She kept her head down, just in case.

“You want to make the call?” Javier said when she didn’t elaborate.

Horacio shrugged, “I’m off tonight. It’ll be there tomorrow.”

Eva could tell by the way Javier’s eyes narrowed that this was an unusual response. Hell, she was even surprised by it. Her sense of karma evaporated as quickly as it came and she had to keep herself from staring open mouthed at him. Javier threw back the rest of his beer and stood, walking away without saying anything.

Steve rolled his eyes, “We’ll call you in the morning to work it out. Thanks, Eva.”

“No problem,” Eva called out, waving as she watched him walk off. Then, “I think you pissed him off.”

Horacio shrugged, “I’m not wrong. It will be there tomorrow.”

“I didn’t say you were wrong,” Eva replied, “But I am surprised by it.”

He helped her to stand, leading her back to the truck, “Which part?”

“Hmm?” She was distracted by the feeling of his hand guiding her to where he’d parked.

“Which part are you surprised by?”

She leaned against the side of the truck, looking him over, “You’re a get up and go kind of guy. You don’t put things off until tomorrow.”

He quirked an eyebrow, “You’re right, I don’t.” Then, he added, “In the interest of not putting things off, do you want to tell me what that was back there?”

Eva could feel the blush heat her cheeks, and she couldn’t keep her mouth from smiling stupidly. She looked down, trying to cover it.

“No,” he said, stepping forward and grasping her chin. “Don’t start doing that. Is it an inside thought?”

She giggled, “No. Its not an inside thought.”

“Then, what?” He caught her eye, saying her name in a slow, cajoling tone, “Tell me.”

Huffing, Eva bit down on the inside of her cheek, “They had a lot of pot in there. I mean, a metric fuck ton.”

She tried to go on, but found the explanation that formed in her mind to be too stupid, even internally. How was she supposed to verbalize it without it sounding equally stupid?

His pulled back a bit, analyzing her expression with half a smile, “I haven’t seen you this flustered since that meeting in the conference room. Its cute.”

“Oh, don’t call me cute,” Eva bit out, but she couldn’t maintain the facade of anger, devolving into little giggles as he looked at her in wonder. “I’m sorry, I really am.”

She inhaled, letting her head fall to his chest, her hands running down his arms to thread her fingers through his.

“Promise you won’t laugh.”

“I promise.”

“In the bar, while I was scoping out the back, I had to sit there for a few minutes. And… there was a lot of smoke.”

She hated the way her voice pitched upwards at the end of the sentence, as if it were a question. She hated even more that she couldn’t look at him when she said it.

It started with a blown out breath and then he was holding his breath for several beats. Even with her forehead resting against him, she knew that he was working to hold off a laugh.

“I knew it,” she cried out, looking up at him, “I knew you would laugh. I have a contact high and you’re laughing at me.”

“I’m not laughing,” he said as he definitely laughed.

“You are,” Eva shot back, crossing her arms.

He cupped her cheek, “Don’t pout.”

She tilted her face up when he drew her in for a kiss, arms wrapping around his middle to keep him close. He kissed her softly, and she could feel him trying not to smile into it. Feeling not a little vengeful, she nipped at him, soothing it just a little with a swipe of her tongue.

“Its late,” he said between kisses, “Let me take you home.”

Eva was grateful that she was leaned up against the truck, her balance a little off, which was par for the course whenever they kissed. It was like as soon as their lips touched, she got a sudden rush of wild vertigo that made her dizzy in the best way. She hoped that feeling never faded. A stupid, unrelenting hope.

As they drove through the streets, she watched the buildings pass by, the wheels of her mind working.

“I can hear you thinking over there,” he said at a stoplight, looking over at her.

Eva ducked her head and blushed, “Yes, I’m thinking.”

“What about?”

The light turned green, but his eyes stayed on her and his foot remained on the brake. She glanced behind them. The road was empty.

“Um,” she began, “I was thinking that sooner or later we should probably acknowledge the obvious.”

He turned a little, resting his forearm on the console, “What is that?”

“That I am an omega and that you are an alpha. That just about any time I spend with you drives me absolutely crazy.”

He observed her with a curious look in his eye, “Is this good or bad?”

She smiled, “Good, very good. At least I think so.”

He regarded her curiously, “Then, why would we need to acknowledge it.”

Eva leveled a sardonic look at him, “You marked me today, Horacio. You knew what you were doing when you did it.”

“I did.”

It relieved her that he wasn’t going to evade the conversation. She’d never done this before, and his straightforward attitude made her push forward despite the unsteadiness in her voice.

“I was brought up to believe that...meant something.”

She felt herself holding her breath a little. Eva had been out of society on and off since age fourteen, she hadn’t bothered to really learn the ins and outs of these kinds of relationships. She hadn’t thought she would need it.

The light turned yellow, then red.

“Is this the weed talking?”

Eva barked out a laugh, one hand coming up to cover her mouth, “No, no. It just got me thinking, that’s all.”

She’d given him an out, and part of her hoped that he would take it. Another part of her hoped that he’d at least give her some idea of what this was.

“Eva, do you remember what I said when we met at the church? That I couldn’t breathe when I first met you?”

Nodding, Eva kept quiet, barely managing to quash the feeling bubbling up inside her. She needed a clear head for this, needed to make sure she didn’t allow herself to get carried away.

He licked his lips, his eyes searching her face, “Do you know what I also felt? When you were telling us about your husband? I felt rage. Sitting in front of me is the most delicious omega I’ve ever met and someone thought they could lay hands on her.” His hand flexed on the wheel, his scent sharpening. “And when you said you’d killed him for it, I thought to myself, ‘she doesn’t need protection’.”

The light turned green and he let off the brake, the car picking up acceleration.

“But, I wanted to give it to you, anyways.”

Eva searched for words, finding nothing. She settled on, “Really?”

He nodded, reaching over to take her hand, “Then, you saved my ass in the bar fight.”

“I think that was more of a gunfight,” she commented, feeling warm all over.

“It was both,” he asserted, giving her hand a little squeeze, “You still kept me from getting shot.”

Eva scoffed, “I also threw a Molotov cocktail and set the place on fire.”

Horacio laughed, releasing her hand to pull into her neighborhood. He took it back almost immediately, “That was inventive.”

She shrugged, “I wouldn’t have done it if I thought the table would hold.”

He rolled a shoulder, “That table was not going to hold. It was basically plywood.”

“You’re right,” she agreed as her apartment building came into view, “It was shit.”

He parked, got out, and circled to open the door for her. She tried not to smile too wide when he held her hand up to her door. She reached into her purse and pulled out her key, opening the lock.

“Do you,” she started, fortifying her courage, “Want to come in?”

He tilted her chin up, looking at her for a few seconds. Eva’s eyes narrowed in confusion before she scoffed, pulling her chin away.

“I’m fine. I was the smallest bit high for, like, fifteen minutes. I’ve got full control over my faculties.” A moment later, she amended, “Well, as much control as I ever do around you.”

When he didn’t answer, she touched his chest, “Listen, if you don’t want to, I understand.”

His hand came up and gripped her wrist, “I’ve told you before that you shouldn’t mistake restraint for a lack of want.”

“Okay,” she breathed, “So, are you going to follow through on that want?”

Horacio pushed her back into the apartment, closing the door behind him. She went willingly, dropped her bag to the side. She sighed into a welcome kiss, draping her arms over his shoulders.

Pulling away, he held up a finger, “One thing: I need you to let me lead. I’ll make sure you feel good, but let me set the pace.”

Lips parted, Eva felt a kind of fervent gratitude that quickly morphed into affection, “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

He watched her for a second before he leaned down and kissed her again, their tongues tangling together. Eva felt her body go lax, most of her weight leaning into him. She let him lead her backwards, his hands pulling her close. The steps were small and slow, interspersed with deep, lazy kisses.

As they moved down the hall, he pulled her blouse up and out of her skirt, slipping his hands underneath. Eva groaned as he cupped her breasts over her bra, kneading the flesh. He was taking his time with her, his touches patient, thorough. It was driving her crazy.

Maneuvering her into the bedroom, Horacio finally pulled her blouse over her head, tossing it aside. He gripped her hips, eyeing her skirt.

“You’ve worn this skirt before,” he said raggedly, “I’ve had dreams about this skirt.”

Hands moving quickly, he pulled the zipper down and pushed the fabric to the floor. Eva, in an attempt to quell the little bit of nervousness that she was feeling, tugged at the polo he had tucked into his pants. She struggled to get it up and over his shoulders, too preoccupied with the way he was palming her ass. Taking pity on her, he reached behind him and pulled it up and over his head.

Oh, that is not fair, she thought, her mouth suddenly dry. The man dressed like a middle aged dad, halfway to a mid-life crisis—all khakis and variations of a polo shirt—and it was hiding such a strong, sensuous body. Eva knew he was powerful, had felt the firm press of muscle when he held her, but dear God, he was gorgeous all over.

Helping her down to the bed, he knelt in front of the mattress, kissing up her stomach as his fingers unsnapped her bra. It went the way of her other clothing, followed by her panties.

“Lean back,” he said in a voice not much louder than a whisper.

She slowly let her weight fall to the bed as he parted her thighs. There wasn’t much light in the room, just what was filtered in from the open door to the hall and the streetlights from the window. But, in it, she could see him staring at her, tongue rolling over his bottom lip. More than a little self conscious, she tried to close her legs, eyes diverted.

Fingers tightening on her knees, his eyes flicked up to her, “No.”

A simple directive. An order from an alpha that Eva had no hope of disobeying. Her hips opened and her legs fell to the side. If she wasn’t anticipating his next move so much, she might have had it in her to figure out a way to wipe the smirk off his face.

It faded soon enough. The first touch of his mouth on her shocked Eva so much that she jerked, her hips pulling back. Making a sound of displeasure, he grabbed her hips and pulled her to the end of the bed, hooking her legs over his shoulders. His hands pressed onto her stomach, holding her still as he laid his tongue flat against her, licking from bottom to top in one long stripe. Eva tried to calm her breathing, her fingers digging into the comforter below her. The heat of his mouth coupled with the confidence in every movement made for a heady combination.

Moaning lowly, he sucked each of her lips in turn, moving back and forth, tongue dipping inside before starting again. Over and over in slow, meticulous succession, until Eva was rolling her hips up, trying to get more friction. His thumb moved to circle her clit, rubbing around it, avoiding the tightest bundle of nerves.

She whined, carding her hand into his curls, trying to wordlessly urge him to give her more. He seemed to hear her—in the next second, he was pushing two fingers into her in one slow, careful thrust. Her breath caught in her throat, releasing on a high pitched moan when he shifted up and gave a firm suck to her clit. And then another. And another. Her eyes closed, losing all control over her body. Her heels dug into his back as she used as much leverage as she could to get closer.

Nose pushing into her pubic bone, Horacio added a third finger, the stretch burning despite how obscenely wet she was. Eva’s eyes rolled back, the orgasm clenching down on him hard. She cried out, a hoarse sound that he echoed as he buried his face deeper between her thighs, tongue rolling over her folds eagerly.

He eased her legs down, lightly massaging her thighs before he rose to lean over her. Eva was still catching her breath when he kissed up the column of her throat and over to her scent gland, sucking gently on it. She gave a reedy moan, body curling up and around him.

He shushed her, easing her back down onto the bed. More kisses, a gentle massage against her folds that had her already simmering arousal making a slow ascent upwards once more. Needy and wanting more, Eva grabbed the back of his neck, arching her body into his. It was then that she realized he was still wearing the goddamned khakis. She pulled away, pushing her fingers beneath his belt buckle, pulling the leather through the bar and managing to get the it loose before he grabbed both of her hands.

“I told you that you needed to let me lead, Eva,” he grumbled, looking down at her with censure.

She bit her lip, fingers curling into little fists as she waited for...she didn’t know what. Would he stop?

Making a soft tsking sound, he pushed her hair from her face, “I’m going to get you ready, okay?”

Eva laughed softly, “I just came, Horacio. I think I’m ready.”

Shaking his head, he pulled one of her hands down, flattening her palm against the fly of his pants. She let him hold her there, curving her fingers over the shape of him. Her smile faded just a little as the mapped him. Although she might say that he was average in length, in width—well, fuck. Her body clenched as she thought about how tightly he would fill her up, how he might not even fit.

In a rush of determination, Eva slipped the button of his fly loose and pushed her hand down between his pants and underwear. He hissed as she gave him a slow, firm stroke. Her original assessment was correct, he would fill her absolutely to the brim. The thought intimidated her as much as it excited her.

Leaning down next to her ear, he asked, “Do you understand why I need to lead this?” His grip tightened ever so slightly, “I need to make sure you’re ready.”

He pushed her hand away, resting his weight on one arm so that he could open her back up to his touch. Carefully, Horacio slipped two, then three, fingers inside her, spreading them to stretch her folds open. She groaned at the feeling, eyes closing. The gentle exploration quickly grew in intensity, his thumb giving a firm stroke to her clit with every thrust. Eva writhed in the sheets, unable to stay still. The feeling built upon itself, spiraling up and out of her. It was harder than the first, deeper in a way that had her gritting her teeth.

Sweat had pooled over her chest and hips, her heart hammering in her throat. She felt too wound up and boneless at the same time. His fingers slipped from her sopping folds as he shifted to the side. He placed little kisses over her skin, eyes looking over her body with something akin to pride.

“Good?”

She nodded, not quite able to speak, lips dry. As she gained some feeling back into her body, Eva rolled a little and hooked the fingers of one hand into his pants, tugging at them. He took her meaning and slipped them off leaving him in boxer briefs that were damp with precum. She kissed his chest, tracing the pad of her thumb over the crown of him. He only let her touch him for a short time, the muscles of his body tight with restraint. When she wriggled her hand inside to get at skin, he stopped her.

Holding both wrists down beside her head, Horacio rolled atop her, settling his hips between her thighs. Eva wrapped her legs around his waist, letting him sink as deep as possible to the cradle of her hips, a welcome weight.

He kissed her briefly, “Condom?”

Eva nodded, pointing to the nightstand. He was all perfunctory movements as he opened the drawer, pulled out the condom, shoved off the last of his clothing, and rolled it on. She was glad for it as it gave her an excellent view of him fully naked for the first time.

Wanting to touch him, she sat up and brushed her hands over his strong thighs, filing away the image of sitting atop them for later. He cupped the back of her neck, kissing her as he urged her to lay back, his body covering her.

“Slow,” he said between kisses, “We go slow.”

Eva was absolutely on board for that, still feeling a little timidity about the size of him. She hadn’t been with anyone since coming to her new assignment, so she knew she’d need a little time to adjust. Drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, Eva forced her body to relax.

“Slow,” he reiterated as he lined himself up.

The first push made her rethink her choices that night, and she couldn’t keep from closing her eyes against the burn. Fuck, but she wanted it. She tucked her chin into the curve of his neck, breathing long, slow breaths.

Groaning, Horacio adjusted his weight and pushed a little deeper. Just when Eva thought she couldn’t stretch any further, there was more of him easing inside. Though she tried to stop it, a little sound escaped her throat.

He stopped, lifting just a bit to check her expression, and she could see him working to make a decision, strain behind his eyes. Then, he pulled out and rolled over to his back.

“C’mere.”

Though she was still a little shaky, Eva crawled over him, straddling his hips. He helped her tilt up and then back down again. Using her hands on his chest for balance, she tried to let gravity ease her down. Despite how wet she was, she could only take a few inches before she had to stop and focus on her breathing.

“I don’t think I can,” she admitted after a few shallow thrusts.

He rose and wrapped his arms around her, “You can, you can.”

When she faltered, he buried his nose in her hair, cradling most of her weight and taking the motion from her. Up and down. Nice and easy. Just a little more every time. With every stroke, the burn eased just a little, until she was giving him tiny rolls of her hips, until tingles of sensation overcame the stretch of her body. Needing to, she kissed him, sighing into his mouth when she sank down so smoothly that the little gains that they had been making suddenly became one generous thrust.

Eva gasped, hips swiveling.

His eyes widened as he looked down at where they were joined, “Good?”

She nodded, “I’m good. So good.”

Another rise and fall, and she was gripping the back of his neck, widening her stance to take him all the way to the base where she ground down hard. He hissed, arms tightening so that there was not an inch of space between them. It stunted her movements, and Eva found herself wanting desperately to keep the steady rise of pleasure.

Small, but growing whimpers sounded from her lips, her body’s movements liquid and burning. She wanted more, and she wanted it now. Horacio’s hold on her kept the pace maddeningly slow, but so goddamn steady that it anchored her to him.

“I’m so full,” she bit out, her head dropping to his shoulder in near defeat, “You fill me up.”

Below her, he let out a harsh breath, followed by a sharp inhale and long, agonized groan. His hips pushed up hard, just once grinding into her before beginning that steady pace again, if only a little faster. She was glad he had some control because her mouth had started up and there was no hope that she was going to be able to stop it at this point.

“Fuck, you feel so good inside me,” she said on an exhale, her voice cracking.

He kissed her hard, bracing one hand against the mattress, to get more leverage, hips arching off the bed. The release of his hold gave Eva all she needed to begin meeting him in the middle. With a low whine, she angled her hips and drove down on him, her jaw loosening when he hit every spot inside her that made her squirm.

His forehead pressed against her, nose pressed into her cheek, Horacio swallowed audibly, saying, “Mmph—fuck, slow. Eva, slow.”

The words seemed forced out of him, his voice hoarse. Eva kept going, pulling away to get a good look at his face. His brows were drawn together, mouth open and wet, sweat on his temples. He looked...fucking wrecked. She could see in that moment how hard he was trying not to come, and it made a shot of determination zing through her. He could have made that directive an order, could have asserted himself as the alpha, but he hadn’t. This gave her an opening that she was all too eager to take.

Kissing him, she pushed at his shoulders, following him down and slowing the drive of her hips. She gave him sweet, lazy kisses until the tension in his body lessened enough that she felt confident he believed that she was listening to him. Then, she sat up, and called on the last remaining vestiges of her energy.

She started with slow undulations that ended with that little grind that he favored. But, Eva was not a patient woman, and she was soon riding him as she had been before. His hands flew to her hips, but he didn’t stop her. Just the opposite. He pulled her down to meet him, head thrown back to expose the strong column of his neck—a staccato ‘ah, ah, ah’ sounding each time their hips met.

Impossibly, he hardened further, until his grasp tightened to bruising and she felt him pulse inside her. He groaned in the back of his throat, eyes shut. Eva smiled down at him, thinking that he was gorgeous even when he was coming, especially when he was coming.

After a few more shallow thrusts, she eased off him and to the side, watching him catch his breath as hers returned to normal. Reaching down, he slipped off the condom, tying it off and leaning over the bed to toss it in a waste basket she kept nearby.

Eva didn’t touch him when he laid back down, though she wanted to. She wanted to lay her head on his chest and hear his heartbeat, curl up next to him while they dozed. A much stronger part of her kept her hands to herself, not knowing what he wanted.

Horacio leaned his weight on an elbow reached out to tucked her sweaty hair from her face. Charmed by the gesture, she turned and kissed his palm, holding it to her briefly before letting go. He shuffled closer, gathering her to his body, the backs of his fingers tracing one long line down the length of her.

On the upstroke, he slid them between her legs, brushing against her, “Are you hurt? Sore?”

She mentally reached out to her body, feeling for injury, “No, but I’ll probably be a little sore in the morning.”

After a few moments of silence, Horacio helped her stand and took her to the bathroom where he turned on the hot water. They showered a little awkwardly, the space too small for both of them. His hands never really left her, though, lingering over her body in a way that spiked a surprising return of her arousal. He laid kisses all over as he dried her off, haphazardly running the towel over his hair and body before tossing it aside.

When he laid her back down in the bed, he kept her near. Naked, warm, and clean, they laid together, talking about nothing at all. And, all the while, he would lean down and press a kiss here, a lick there, just skirting the edge of what she might consider seduction. And yet, her body began to respond as if he’d just started touching her. The fog of her exhaustion gave her a temporary reprieve, lifting just enough that she felt her thighs clench together—or, they would have, if he hadn’t kept his hand right where it was.

Pushing her to her back, Horacio shifted his arm beneath her neck, the other laying across her body, fingers running up and down her slit, circling at the top.

“You took me so well, Eva. I knew you could,” he murmured in her ear. “Made me come before I was ready.”

He alternated between focusing on her clit and rubbing sensuously over her opening. The touch was light, but focused enough that soon enough her hips were tilting up, searching for more stimulation.

“Are you going to come for me again?” He asked, heat lacing every word, “I think you’ve got another in you.”

Unbelievably, it appeared that she did, in fact, have another in her. Though he hadn’t penetrated her, Eva felt the orgasm build and pulse through her. Thighs jerking, she gasped against his mouth as he worked her through it.

With a low hum, Horacio slowed his touch, kissing down her jaw to her neck where he nuzzled against her. Though she’d been granted a short respite, Eva felt the need for sleep come crashing in. Eyes drooping, she shifted to her side and curled into his body. She fell asleep to the feeling of him lazily tracing the contours of her shoulders and back.

#narcos #horacio carrillo #carrillo #A Need So Great

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serendipitous-magic · 4 years

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Question Game - AKA Oversharing Hour

I was tagged by @the-angry-pixie! And I’m a chronic oversharer, so this was fun. I’ll put most of it under a read more line because there’s a LOT.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen?

Black. Dunno why.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city?

City city city city city city city city. I’m already going fucking batshit as it is, trapped in suburbia. I want to be able to actually do things, anything. Anything other than just being around the house and / or work. (And I felt like this before the pandemic started.) If you live in the city you can walk out your door and be somewhere else within like 5 minutes. A city park, a cafe, a train/subway, a local attraction, a museum, an artist’s booth, an outdoor market, etc. etc.

Living in suburbia is like, well, to go literally anywhere you have to get into your car first and drive like 10 minutes minimum to get out of the neighborhood, and then if you want to go anywhere that’s not the grocery store you have to drive 20 minutes to get to another area of town, and then once you get there that’s the only place you can be without getting into your car again and getting a nice shot of anxiety from having to drive in traffic and have aggressive drivers roar up on your ass because you’re going 5mph above the speed limit and they want to be going 15mph above, and god help you if you have to merge, and oh by the way this is your only option to get around because public transit doesn’t really exist in any useful way in Big Suburbia, and nothing in within walking distance of your house except like 2 playgrounds and maybe one (1) gas station. (I hate it here lmao)

If I was trapped in the country I’d probably be chill with it for about a week, and enjoy the break, and the on day 8 I’d snap and go on a murdering spree out of stir-craziness.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be?

I want to learn German and eventually be fluent in it. But since I’ve already started trying to learn and I don’t know if that counts, I’ll say cinematography. As in the actual working of the camera and lighting and all that. I can dream up some pretty striking images but actually getting the camera to do the settings needed to capture them is another story entirely.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

Nope. I drink coffee and tea both, and I don’t put any kind of sweetener in either of them. I used to put a shitton of sugar in my coffee and honey in my tea, and then I had some mild eating disorder struggles in college and I never got back in the habit of putting stuff in my hot drinks after that. It just tastes wrong now, after being used to plain black coffee.

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

Either the Harry Potter series or The Hobbit. My grandma would take care of me a lot when I was really little because my parents both worked full time to support us, and every single time I was at her house she’d sit us down at the dining room table and read something to me. Not Junie B. Jones or anything, either, but real, big, thick books. I loved the shit out of Harry Potter and The Hobbit; I would request them repeatedly. We pretty much went back and forth; we’d read Harry Potter, and then The Hobbit, and then when a new Harry Potter book came out we’d read that, and then The Hobbit again, and so on and so forth.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

Showers. I love baths, they’re magical, but ain’t nobody got time for that unless it’s a special occasion. I got too much shit to do to spend an hour lying in the bathtub.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be?

Vampire. Purely on the basis that if I was immortal maybe I’d finally have time to get my to-do list done and accomplish things. I’d miss the sunlight though.

8. Paper or electronic books?

Paper. Here’s the thing, I really want to enjoy ebooks, but they just don’t hold my attention at all. Maybe I’m too conditioned by the internet to have a short attention span when I’m looking at a screen, idk.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

I have a dark gray hoodie from the Seattle Aquarium from when I went on a road trip across America with my BFF a few years ago. It’s still my absolute favorite thing. I also enjoy my hiking boots a lot. (I wear them all the time, really they should just be called “everyday boots” haha)

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it?

I like my name and I would also like to start going by something different. Probably just because I’m a restless soul and I feel the best (and least trapped) when I’m on the move or when things are changing. The second I get somewhere I want to be somewhere else. That’s just how I am. Gwen is a cool name (I’ve personally met maybe 3 people in my whole life with the same name, face-to-face), but there’s a lot attached to that nickname that I don’t necessarily want to carry with me when I eventually escape my hometown and start down a new path.

11. Who is a mentor to you?

A friend and former professor whom I usually refer to online as Producer Man. He’s a producer (as you may have guessed) who kind of took me under his wing after I was in one of his film classes in college. We work together on film projects now and he’s teaching me bit-by-bit (usually by way of long, rambling, tangential stories / lectures) about the industry. He’s a really good guy. Like, he for sure has a case of Old White Guy sometimes, but his heart is absolutely in the right place. “He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit.” He’s always leaving $10 tips at coffee places and working himself to the bone to get his students connected to jobs and internships that will help them with their careers.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for?

Yes, my stories. Actually, “famous” is not the right word. It’s just that fame is so tightly associated with success in our society. I want to be successful. Whether I’m widely known or not is pretty inconsequential to me. I want to make stories and I want them to have an impact. Books, film, etc. It’s about as simple as that.

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

Oh yeah. I have trouble sleeping as much as I should because I usually kind of jerk awake in the morning with this vague feeling that I forgot something or that I’m late for something. Also I stay up later than I should because I’m a night owl, and yet I like being up early because early mornings are great. And usually if I dream at all it’s something kind of stressful, like I dream that I forgot something important or did something wrong. I’m a Stressed Bean.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person?

I think so, yeah. I’m pretty obsessed with the idea of romance (I mean look at my OTPs), but heteronormativity got me fucked up enough that I’m bad at actually navigating real romantic feelings or relationships because society never prepared me for The Gay.

15. Which element best represents you?

Fire, probably.

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

My mom. We fight a lot and there tends to be a lot of tension between us. It’s a long complicated story. It boils down to, she really hurt me when I came out as not-straight at 15 and she lost all of my trust and even though she’s working on being less homophobic we’re still kind of trying to repair that divide seven years later.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

Dude, I miss everyone. I’m an introvert and I’d love to be at a big party right now. I miss socialization. (As does everyone.)

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

The first time I experienced deja vu, I was about eehhh 6? And I legitimately believed, for several years of my life, that I had future-predicting abilities. Like, supernatural-level future-predicting abilities. Because I didn’t really know what deja vu was, so I thought, every time it happened, that I had already ~seen~ that moment in my dreams or something. 🤣

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

Hm. (My immature ass brain yells “DICK.” No, brain. Those were dark heteronormative times. Also, grow up.)

Probably some of the sushi in Seattle. I actually love sushi, it’s just that when it has full-on legs and eyeballs I start getting a little squeamish. I like the rolls and the kind where there’s some fish meat laid out on a nice little bed of rice, that’s delicious. But when they brought out the whole shrimp with legs still attached, I was like “How in the (redacted) am I going to chew / swallow that.”

20. What are you most thankful for?

That I happened to be living with family when this pandemic hit. I was supposed to move out (and across the country, actually) as of... like 4 days ago, as it happens. That was the plan. Plane ticket was gonna be booked for 7/15/20. Obviously, things didn’t quite work out that way, because of the pandemic and a few other reasons. But I can’t imagine if I had been in an apartment living with roommates, or in an apartment on my own struggling to get by, when this happened. A lot of people couldn’t pay rent and lost their homes. I was very, very lucky to be where I was, when I was, and very lucky that I have family who let me stay in their house pretty much indefinitely while this clusterfuck of a year happens.

21. Do you like spicy food?

Yes! I looooove spicy thai food especially. I miss the massaman curry from a local Thai place so much 😭

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

Um. Maybe? I met Veronica Roth once at an author talk in the library where I work, although it was before I worked there. And I met some guy from New Zealand who’s famous for his sword fighting skills because my dad does sword fighting stuff. Don’t remember his name though.

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

Yep. I have to write down everything or I forget. (I often say I have the memory of a goldfish.) Also, I have this compulsion to record and preserve my experiences in life, because I feel like our time on Earth is so fleeting and if I don’t write down what’s important to me, I’ll forget it and lose it.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil?

Pen. Pencil gets smudged.

25. What is your star sign?

Scorpio, which is ironic because they’re supposed to be ~hyper sexual~ I guess, and I’m like gray-ace or something in that zone.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy?

Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal? Are you okay? Do you need help? This is an intervention.

27. What would you want your legacy to be?

My stories. Life and sentience, as we experience it, is made up of just that: experience. And I read somewhere that, on some level, the human brain doesn’t differentiate that much between real life experiences and fictional experiences. I think that’s true. If you read or watch or hear the right story, it can really touch you and change the way you see life, or even change the way you live life. Stories have an incredible amount of power, both in individual people’s lives and in larger society. A huge amount of power. I want to be able to give people experiences that will Enrich Their Lives (do I sound like a lifestyle coach yet? 🤦🏼‍♀️), but also stories that actively do good in society. Positive representation, body positivity/neutrality, diversity, healthy relationships (Hollywood has a real problem with that). Hope. It’s the best thing I can think to give society, and storytelling is what I love to do.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read?

I love reading. I wish I did it more. Part of my problem is that I get caught up in the hectic Rat Race of modern society and I never feel like I have time to sit down with a book for hours. Another problem of mine is that I start too many things at once, meaning I currently have like 5-10 (I lost count) books that I started reading, and I want to finish all of them, which means no progress ever gets done on any of them.

I last finished The Goldfinch, and I am currently working on The Secret History, Good Omens, Dune, a book my dad wrote, Directing Actors, Shot by Shot, The Way of Kings and I forget what else.

29. How do you show someone you love them?

Physical affection, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts, in that order. If I’m close to someone, whether romantically or not, I want all the affection. And I’m kind of dying in quarantine.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

Depends. I usually don’t put any in, because it’s just gonna water down the drink and get in the way of drinking it (you know when the ice attacks your face?), but I don’t really mind ice in my drinks.

31. What are you afraid of?

Helplessness. I Have Control Issues. ✌️ Also stagnation.

32. What is your favourite scent?

Amber. Or any scent that’s kind of autumn-y. You know what I mean. Some other examples include dryer sheets, wood smoke, cigarette smoke (my big sister used to smoke a long long time ago, and although I never saw her do it, I still associate the scent with her), pine resin, rain, that Mahogany Woods scent from Bath and Bodyworks.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?

If they introduce themselves as Pam I call them Pam. If they introduce themselves as Mr. Brown I call them Mr. Brown.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

If “money is not a factor” means I have an infinite amount of money to spend as I wish, then: buy land, build film studio complex on land, found company, hire fellow creatives, make movies.

If “money is not a factor” just means that I don’t have to work 40 hours a week to afford rent, then: move to Chicago, rent a nice studio apartment, write stories, maybe work 15 hours a week at a used bookstore or coffee shop to get me out of the house and socialize. Go to museums, go to the park, walk along Lake Michigan, go to gay bars, ride the train, brave the Illinois winters, own a cat, paint, play guitar. Build my actual career on writing / storytelling. Probably also do some filmmaking.

Alternatively: buy an RV (not like an American Trailer Park shitty RV, I’m talking the NOICE ones), buy good film equipment, be a freelancer, live in RV driving around to wherever the next filming location is. Life is a road trip and I’m doing what I love. Writing, storytelling, filmmaking. My home would travel with me. Writing in cafes; roadside attractions; early mornings on the road with coffee in the cup holder as the sun comes up; being able to go anywhere to film; always experiencing something new.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

I’ve lived in a landlocked state my whole life, so I guess swimming pools. And, listen, I CANNOT get water in my mouth at the beach without wondering exactly how many kids have peed (or worse) in that water. (I know that’s a thing with pools too, but pools get cleaned.)

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground?

Wonder what some poor European is doing in America right now. But if it was $50, I’d probably yell “DID ANYONE DROP THIS?” and then take it if no one speaks up.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star?

A few times, yeah.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children?

Grades are not the end-all-be-all. Skip some homework assignments to spend time with friends. Skip class sometimes. I’m serious. If you make school your top priority, even over your own personal life, you will come away with good grades and a lot of regret and missed opportunities. Learning is HELLA important, and very very little of it happens inside a school building. Get a 15 hour weekend or after-school job in high school, befriend your coworkers, and have fun with it. Use your paychecks however you want. Join a school club - one that you’re actually interested in. Do stupid shit. Light your textbooks on fire after graduation or go to the 24 hour Wendy’s at 2am with your friends or kiss that person you met at summer camp or sleep on the porch because it’s too hot to sleep inside. Be smart and safe, but follow your whims. If you let yourself fall into routine, apathy will poison you.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

I already have a couple small ones, but the one I want next is a four-leaf clover. Don’t know where. Maybe my right inner wrist or maybe an ankle. Or like behind my ear. Luck has saved me so many times. (See above, with how I happened to be living with family when COVID hit.)

40. What can you hear now?

Swamp cooler downstairs, the clock ticking in my office, cars outside, people moving around the house. I’m surprised the neighbor kids aren’t shrieking their absolute heads off as per the usual.

41. Where do you feel the safest?

When I’m alone and unobserved.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

TMI warning, but I absolutely despise public bathrooms. How am I expected to pee when there’s somebody sitting like three (3) feet away, with only a partial wall between us, hearing everything that’s going on? My fight or flight response simply will not allow it. It’s too awkward and therefore Not Safe. Either that public restroom has to be empty except for me, or it has to be so loud and bustling that ain’t nobody hearing anything. Anything in-between and I’m in hell.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

The ‘80s. Let’s be honest, even that far back makes my life (as a woman, and as a gay person) hella difficult. But, consider this: it’s the ‘80s. Furthermore, consider this: a part-time job might have actually supported me and paid rent back then 😱 Holy fucking shit. Sign me up. I just wouldn’t want to go any further than than like 1980, because again: lesbian. Being a woman in the past = even harder than it is today, being gay in the past = even harder than it is today, being a gay woman in the past = oh no.

44. What is your most used emoji?

In order of descending frequency:

😂🙄😊😁🤦🏼‍♀️👀😬🌈🤷🏼‍♀️😙

45. Describe yourself using one word.

Creative

46. What do you regret the most?

Wasting my entire teenage experience. (See #38.) I did quite literally nothing with my life except homework for like 18 years. If I had taken even a tenth as much time for myself as I did for school, I would be so much farther along as a person today.

47. Last movie you saw?

In the theaters? ........ uh. Shit, I don’t actually remember. It’s been like 5 months. (As it has for everyone.) But the last movie I watched was Lights Out, because I’ve been watching the director’s youtube channel. You could tell it was low-budget and that the director was still kind of finding his stride, but it had a lot of heart behind it and the creators clearly gave a fuck, which made it enjoyable. I am firmly in the camp of “not everything has to be a Magnum Opus or have a multi-billion dollar budget to be a good movie.” If I engaged with it and got some sort of emotional experience out of it, and if it had a good message, I consider it a good movie.

48. Last tv show you watched?

I don’t usually watch a whole lot of TV shows (who has the time?) but I think the last thing I watched was either The Witcher or that new Unsolved Mysteries miniseries on Netflix. Oh and I was watching Dead to Me because I just love Linda Cardellini’s face and I want to wrap Judy up in a blanket and cuddle the shit out of her and protect her from all things 🥺 My precious beautiful unstable sweet murder baby.

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning.

Apapanic. It’s where you’re so stressed about things that half of your brain is panicking but the other half is so overwhelmed that it circled all the way back around to being calm to the point of apathy, so you just kind of sit there like

#about me #tag game #except as usual i'm not gonna tag people because I don't have to social energy to ask people to do things #sorry i know that's kind of cheating #if you wanna overshare just say I tagged you lol #personal #tmi

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lostinforeverness · 4 years

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Everything I meant

You’ll never ever ever see this; you won’t read it, you won’t think about it, you won’t care about it or mull it over or assault it. So I can say everything, all that I ever meant to.

The timeline is incoherent, ironically. My thoughts are a jumbled mess, I just have a load of junk and hearts.

1) You were hands down my favourite sexual partner ever, and I’m unlikely to ever find anyone as good. I’m coming to terms with that.

2) I used to tremble at night because I knew I couldn’t pleasure you, and threw up a few times at the thought of what that might make you do. I just wanted to be better, so I used to speak to you about it, like a grown up - you told me it didn’t matter, and I knew you were lying.

3) I believe that you truly loved me; I believe that you felt truly loved and adored BY me, but you had no idea what to do with all of those roses. You were neither prepared nor comfortable with it, right?

4) You were the only person I could reveal my tortured soul to.

5) You were the only person who could ever torture my soul by simply being absent.

6) Your family intimidated me, I’m not sure why - maybe because they seemed so stable and comfortable, which may have been their coping mechanism for dealing with past hardships. All I know is, it made me feel so unworthy for being so broken.

7) I knew you had cheated on me long before you told me. I could feel it, sense it, smell it. I used to cry rivers while I wondered how you’d tell me; how pathetic.

8) I hated it when he brought you gifts at work.

9) I hated it when he’d pick you up from work.

10) I hated it when you showed off your engagement ring at work.

11) I hated him, and he hadn’t even hurt me. I felt like a monster.

12) I cried out your name whilst screwing 3 different women, on separate occasions. I only got called out on it once, which I thought was kinda weird.

13) I hated that I was your emotional cushion, but you still preferred his cock. I felt like I had to escape from that, the image used to keep me awake at night.

14) I used to tell everyone that we loved each other, that you were having a rough patch, but it was only a matter of time. They told me to stop being stupid.

15) My friends wrote me genuine, hand-written apologies when you came back.

16) When you left again, they rolled their eyes and reverted to type.

17) I only went to see you at the restaurant, where you and big dick worked together, because I wanted you to remember that you loved me. I’m not sure if it ever worked.

18) I bought the ring because I wanted to propose to you; I’d never been so sure of anything in my life.

19) I still have the ring. It’s engraved, and so worthless

20) When I spent all my money on gambling, booze, and drugs, I contemplated selling the ring. I remembered it was worthless and opted not to.

21) I wanted to raise the coolest motherfucking kids on the planet, I wanted to do so with you by my side.

22) When you said you had been pregnant, and lost it, my heart was overwhelmed with both sadness and joy. You told me it was impossible, and I had resigned to it; suddenly there was such possibility, and yet such overbearing heartbreak.

23) When I wanted you to watch Love Actually, it was because I believe in true love, and I believed we truly loved each other - I actually thought having you watch a goofy film might have made you pick up on it too.

24) I never understood why you wouldn’t leave your fiancee for me.

25) I never had the courage to ask.

26) I left my first job because i couldn’t handle anymore the reality of loving you so much and you seeming not to care. I spoke to my doctor at the time about the stress this was causing.

27) Since you came back into my life, I have never once slept in the bed without you being present.

28) I’ve fucked people in the bed, but I’d sleep downstairs instead.

29) Being alone on a couch is easier than being alone on a bed.

30) I didn’t like that you’d put a bit of weight on, but you seemed intent on pizza and wine, so I thought it better not to say much about it.

31) It kind of turned me off, honestly. Until we actually got to it, then I remembered how great you were in bed, and I got over it. (cause it’s the type of thing that only matters ‘physically’)

32) One night, I climbed on that garage roof next to the White Lion. I stayed there for like 6 whole hours. I watched you from afar, there were lots of reasons why:

32A) I wanted to see if you looked like you missed me.

32B) I wanted to see if he would turn up.

32C) I wanted to see if you would leave for his house.

32D) I wanted to see if you were happy, so that I could hate you if you were, to give my brokenness some kind of legitimacy.

33) I felt terrible about it and like I’d done a really awful, creepy thing. I had.

34) I left you to have my house key because I thought you were coming back.

35) The night I came to collect it, I had been drinking heavily - I saw you and he were back together, and I cried all the way to your house.

36) When you didn’t answer my calls and texts that night, I thought you had some weird kind of vendetta against me, that it was your way of getting back at me.

37) My favourite holiday ever was the one we had together.

38) I hated the last part of that holiday, when it became clear you didn’t want sex with me and were desperate to fall out with me. I now know that’s because you’d already cheated and hate yourself, but I couldn’t understand at the time why it felt like you hated ME.

39) I love you.

40) I like you.

41) I love your company.

42) I love being serious with you.

43) I love being silly with you.

44) I miss you every day.

45) I love you.

46) I love your style, I love your attitude.

47) I love you.

48) I never felt worthy of you; you’re kickass, and you’re a straight up babe - I’m a loser with stained teeth, no future, and bad habits.

49) I begged every night that you’d forgive me for being shit in bed.

50) I wanted to spend time through the day with you more cause I felt like I sucked at being your nighttime companion.

51) I considered asking if you wanted me to watch other men fuck you because I couldn’t do it right. I decided against it.

52) I love the way you are with strangers.

53) I love the way you were with Lily.

54) I love the way you were with my mum.

55) You always seemed to know what to say.

56) I hated you being drunk when I wasn’t. Usually, the reason was that I was skint, but I didn’t want to tell you that; I already considered myself a bottom-dwelling male who didn’t deserve you, I didn’t need more of it to deal with in my head. So I just pretended i didn’t want a drink. I wanted to get pissed and have fun with you, just like we always had. But I’m always skint.

57) I wanted to see all the really cool places in the world with you, places nobody else would ever bother going to with me - Peru, India, New Zealand. I don’t know how I intended to pay for it.

58) I still love you.

59) I still miss you.

60) I used to dream about our little baby, and what might have been.

61) In the dreams, we were fucking great parents. You never listened to your parents, and I never listened to mine - instead, we raised them in our own way, and it was the most beautiful glorious thing ever.

62) The kid always loved you more than me. I don’t know if that means anything.

63) I forgave you for everything.

64) I didn’t know how to forgive you and also make you realise how hurt I HAD been.

65) I see now that your drinking and abuse was your guilt. At the time, I thought it was you pretending that nothing was wrong, and I felt violated.

66) I regret not sweeping you off your feet sooner.

67) I also felt incapable.

68) I just want to spend some time with you, watch a stupid movie, go for a stupid long walk, smoke some stupid cigarettes, have embarrassing stupid sex, and hear your stupid laugh.

69) I told all my family in Ireland about you, how much I loved you. They still ask me about you, which is why I haven’t spoken to them - I don’t know how to explain to them that such powerful amazing love could end in such failure.

70) I feel like a massive failure.

71) I don’t know what it is about me that could make you love me.

72) Yet I do believe you love me. It’s really weird.

73) I just wish we could go back in time, be simple again, and work our way up from there.

74) We’d have a house and a family by now, our own space, our own freedom, our own life.

75) I fucked up just as much as you did, and I never knew how to get that across.

I just want you back in my life again. I want to hold you, laugh with you, travel with you, feel you, fuck you.

I’m resigned to the fact that I can’t do any of that, or have any of that. And it will never feel okay, it will always feel like a huge, unnecessary, depressing failure.

I’m so sorry I couldn’t be the man you needed me to be. But hear me, honestly - I’m still fucking desperate to be him. But I can’t be, can I?

I’m just not good enough.

Not good enough.

Not enough.

Not.

#kellston #junkofhearts #regret #i miss it #i miss them #i miss you

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kingsten · 4 years

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Thuong. ( @cir for Peter.6 times Peter doesn’t finish his meal but one time he does. ) word prompt. “To love tenderly— a deep and sincere notion of fondness and care between family members, friends, or lovers.”

1— CAFE DES DEUX MOULINS, PARIS— NOON “Here you are, toasts, champignons et oeufs pochés. Tell me, how was my pronunciation this time? Better?” Brian makes light conversation with a smile while he gives Peter time to clear space on the table in front of himself in order to set down the plate. Peter isn’t his most talkative regular but if there’s one thing Brian is self confident in, it’s his ability to outwait another person and abundance of patience when it comes to working towards getting them to open up to him. It’s amusing to him, cute even the way Peter likes to elude his numerous attempts at small talk and yet he keeps coming back, and as long as he’s in his usual booth at 11:16 AM then so will new questions await him.

“Nothing to correct.... much better than yesterday.” Peter’s voice is quiet in contrast but his words makes Brian grin widely, and with satisfied look on his face he moves on to attend to the other customers. Later, when he returns to collect the dishes and payment his expression shifts to something akin to a mix of displeasure and confusion. He begins to clear the table, pausing when he picks up the half eaten plate of food.

“What?” Peter sips on his drink, eying Brian who is hesitant to speak.

“Was the food not to your liking because if it was overcooked or something then I can get the chef to remake the order...” After a moment’s silence and a gesture to the kitchen Brian adds, “I can even get you something else. No extra charge.” Peter shakes his head then rests his chin in his hand. He looks at Brian in a way that makes him feel a tiny bit shy, like he can read him or knows some secret to the universe that Brian isn’t in on but replies with a simple. “It was nice, Brian. I liked it.”

Brian wants to ask then why did you only eat half and why is it that every day, no matter what he orders all the meal receive the same treatment even though Peter supposedly likes the food. When Peter begins to pack up, he lets it go and takes the plate away.

2— RUE MONTORGUEIL, PARIS— MORNING They’re friends now. Well, in Brian’s way of thinking he considers Peter a close friend of his. However, he couldn’t possibly say if the feeling is mutual but Peter doesn’t complain as much as he used to before whenever Brian would show up unannounced, invite himself over to his place or drag Peter to some new destination. It’s a good sign that they’re making progress in their friendship. Even though in reality Peter let’s him do whatever he wants and just goes along for the ride.

So what is today’s adventure? Tackling Rue Montorgueil in pursuit of fresh produce and other groceries. Another advantage of having Peter around is his ability to haggle with venders that try to sell Brian overprice fruits, and veggies. It’s a skill that Brian. with admiration, watches as an exchange happens between Peter and a vender who insists his prices are fair. It’s almost an art the way Peter shakes his head, maintains his position and argues until the price is brought down to a reasonable price. He’s so good at it that Jae made it an unofficial rule in the house that Brian isn’t allowed to do any of the weekly shopping unless Peter is with him.

And it’s a rule that Brian is more than happy to abide by.

So, with fruits and vegetables in one bag and various cheeses, crackers, and cuts of meat and fish in the other Brian talks idly to Peter while on their walk home. Eating a peach, he chats about a number of topics such as the fact he likes Kate’s idea of starting an herb garden in the kitchen window sill but is dismayed to find out from Peter that Jae has a habit of killing every green thing he touches. The air is crisp. It’s somewhere between fall leaning towards winter where a long sleeve will suffice or a light jacket. It’s a pleasant walk home.

Peter has a peach too that he’s taken a bite out of but otherwise just holds it. And this does not escape Brian’s attention but he figures it’s because they’re actually talking, as in really talking. He says something and Peter does more than listen: He replies back, he laughs, he pouts, but most important is that he opens up and shows off his personality little by little. And Brian loves it — though he credits this change to Jae who acts more like Peter’s older brother than he does his cousin. The two bicker all the time, it’s funny the way they both seem to go out of their way to annoy one another.

“Do you have cousins you’re close to?” Peter asks, rebalancing the bag he’s carrying with one hand. Brian blinks, surprised by the change in direction to him and his own family. He shakes his head slowly.

“No. Actually I’m jealous of you and Jae.” Brian shrugs, as he tosses the pit into a trash can they pass. “All my cousins are either in South Korea or scattered amongst various parts of the US and Canada. I think I even have an aunt in New Zealand if I remember correctly— do you not like the peach?” Brian stops when he catches Peter hovering over a trash can posed to toss his peach but hands it over when Brian holds out his hand.

“We bought loads of stuff. Crackers, plums, erm.... hmm grapes?” And Brian wonders maybe Peter likes snacks that don’t require much commitment such as berries or nuts. Something he can pick at and eat in small doses but Peter declines everything he offers, even the bread which makes Brian narrow his eyes in a quizzical way. “You don’t eat much.” He comments to which Peter laughs and replies with “I’m still full off breakfast.”

Brian bites into the peach and nods, thoroughly unconvinced by that statement. “Uh-huh.” He saw what Peter was picking at that morning when he came by to pick him up. Needless to say, he was not impressed. “Oatmeal... is very filling.” Brian gives Peter a once over then returns to walking in silence until his phone rings. It’s Angelina, calling to ask where they are because she wants to know if the money she pitched in for groceries was all spent.

3— TAXI CAB, PARIS— NIGHT “I’m sorry. I, I’m sorry. You’re so nice. I’m sorry.” Peter slurs, drunkenly pushing away from Brian to wipe at his eyes with the sleeves on the back of his hand almost like a child that is scared of receiving a lecture. Brian is a bit tipsy himself but nowhere near the same level as Peter who he suspects was drunk after the first glass of wine.

Regardless, he defiantly was slammed by the third glass which makes Brian feel a tiny bit bad. It was his brilliant idea to bring Peter to a wine tasting party but when he tries to articulate that maybe he should’ve just asked Kate instead or even went alone with Jae he’s cut off by having to grab Peter to keep him from losing his balance all together when they get into the cab. Jae laughs, not worried in the least and pats the top of the car. “Get him home safe, Bri.” he says, then shuts the door for them. And Brian waves as him and the girls. The minute the taxi pulls away from the curb Peter clings to him and stays like that the duration of the ride to his apartment.

Brian doesn’t mind and basks in the proximity, knowing Peter would never grant him such a luxury sober. And it’s nice, even though Brian keeps his hands to himself, awkwardly kept tucked in his lap. He can feel the steady raise and fall of his chest and how warm Peter’s breath is against his neck. Peter hugs him closer and the only coherent train of thought Brian can form is that he’s so glad he picked tonight to wear a hoodie rather than the usual denim jacket. The hoodie’s material is soft enough for Peter to fall asleep on without discomfort. The softness of his hair tickles Brian’s cheek and he can smell his shampoo or conditioner, perhaps aftershave? A combination of all three more than likely. Whatever it is that he uses, it’s nice.

“I’m sorry.” Peter half awake and half asleep slurs again, surprising Brian. The words are muffled but heated against Brian’s neck and it makes him swallow deep but thankfully the taxi pulls to a gentle stop outside Peter’s apartment. Brian moves, putting his hands on Peter’s shoulder to pushes him to sit up just enough to look him in the eye. “It’s my fault. I should’ve made you eat something before.” He reassures, smiling but feeling a little sad that the moment is over but at least he has the memory of being this close to hold onto. “Come on, let’s get you inside and put you to bed.”

4— BRIAN AND PETER’S FIRST APARTMENT, US— SOMETIME AROUND BRUNCH Brian leans against the countertop: blonde hair a mess, shirtless as he takes a bite out of a carrot stick. Peter is quiet (he usually is after just waking up) as he preps food. Brian observes him in silence and though he enjoys the sight of his boyfriend wearing nothing but his t-shirt which fits big on him and falls to thighs he can’t help but wonder... where on earth did Peter learn to cook like this?

This is where Brian makes the connection that perhaps this is why Peter never seems to finish his food. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have much experience in the kitchen. A weird concept to Brian given in his family food is an expression of love and he wonders if Peter’s mom ever cut up fruit for him or took special care to pack him lunches she cooked that morning before he was even awake like Brian’s mom used to— he continues to chew thoughtfully when Peter starts chopping green onion, slowly and carefully and it’s just not efficient but it’s more amusing than anything.

“Ok, here, let me.” Brian finally intervenes when Peter starts to peel the garlic. He gets off the counter and moves to stand behind him and takes the clove from Peter’s fingers and uses the kitchen knife to cut off the tip then uses the flat side to crush it flat against the cutting board. It detaches from the peel fairly easily after that but Brian figures he’s already here and goes ahead and minces the garlic then sets the knife aside. “Show off.” Peter murmurs, complaining that Brian should cook instead but Brian shakes his head and snakes his arms around Peter’s middle to hold him close and the only help he contributes after that is by cooing over how cute Peter is when he cooks.

5— MARINA GREEN PARK, SAN FRANSISCO— AFTERNOON "You.” Brian points at Peter with his fork then at the several boxes of food between them, “do not eat nearly enough.” Even though Brian’s face is blank, eyes hidden and obscured behind a pair of dark sunglasses there’s an unmistakable edge to his voice, throwing a quick glance at the food. All of which Peter had picked out, and all of which Peter is now ignoring and it’s slightly irritating to Brian today.

“And you...” Peter picks at his jacket— well, technically Brian’s since Peter doesn’t make a habit of wearing jean jackets but he gets cold easily and even in San Francisco on a sunny day such as this it gets a bit chilly the nearer you are to the sea. Peter is not interested in starting a fight but also not one to sit back and allow Brian to accuse him much less, talk to him with that tone of voice without retaliation finishes his response with a warning tone of voice. One that advises his boyfriend to drop the subject: “You always say that.”

“Yeah well, I always mean it too.” Brian bites back, uncapping a bottle of water and downing half its contents.

Ok, so the food they’ve been eating while on tour isn’t five star gourmet and he should be thankful that today they get to eat in the park, in fresh air on a blanket on a nice day but his cabin fever has become a state of mind. What’s making him irritable is the fact that he’s bored of San Francisco. The first three days the band played at a local festival was fun in it’s own way. Jae and the rest of the band enjoyed it. Brian thought the music was too poppy or daft-punkish for his liking but there were a few indie acts that were bearable. And the four days after that were nice, getting to sleep in a real bed and eat something green and not takeout or fast food for once was a treat but it’s been two weeks, going on three now and he’s ready to move on. Though he’s certain Peter feels the opposite.

“Here.”

Brian is pulled from his thoughts and turns to see Peter is holding out a chocolate covered strawberry to him. Immediately, he feels guilty about his outburst earlier but rather than accept the peace offering and apologize he shakes his head and resumes his sulking. Peter scoots closer and tries again, evidently annoyed too but adds. “Who doesn’t finish their food now?” Which is a dig enough to make Brian give him a look that is lost behind dark shades, and he tries to grab the strawberry. Peter is quick to hold it out of his reach with a stern “No.”

Brian blinks, confused then it clicks what Peter wants. He rolls his eyes then opens his mouth and allows him to feed it to him. After he takes a bite Peter eats one too and they sit in silence, chewing until their moods lift a little and Peter is the one to break the silence. “I think. I understand you better now.” He says, feeding Brian another strawberry.

“Oh?” Brian asks, starting to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand until Peter hands him a napkin. Peter flicks a crumb of chocolate off his pants then says, “You use food as a way to take care of people.” Brian stops chewing and it makes sense when he thinks about it but before he can add a comment of his own. Peter continues. “And I think that’s why it bothers you that I don’t finish my meals.”

Later, when Brain thinks about it in more and even dares to ask Jae for his two cents on the idea. Jae confirms Peter’s idea.

“Yeah man. It’s sort of how you communicate that you care. Words like ‘have you eaten?’ or ‘finish your food.’ I think it’s like, your way of saying I love you.

6— TOM’S APARTMENT, LA— NIGHT Brian gestures for Peter to come closer which Peter, who is mad at him, bluntly ignores and shows complete disinterest in whatever Brian is planning. Instead, he stays seated on his side of Joonmyun’s coffee table and watches the tv. There’s some Star Wars movie playing, or maybe one its series. Brian laughs from the other side then gestures again. “Babe, come here. Please? I have something for you.”

Peter remains firmly planted right where he is, chewing on the plastic of his fork rather than eat from the half-empty takeout box in front of him but he’s at least acknowledging Brian now as he regards him with newfound interest. Curious and very much skeptical about what he could possibly have since he’s empty handed and unless he’s hiding another plane ticket under his shirt or in the thin pockets of his pants Peter’s at a complete loss as to what he has or is planning.

“Please?”

Peter rolls his eyes before he puts the fork down and scoots to sit close enough so that their knees are touching and his eyes search Brian’s. Mostly skeptical but Brian leans in to steal a small kiss which makes him freeze at first but it’s been a long time since they last kissed. Peter sighs, and slowly allows himself to kiss back. It’s not hard to allow himself to melt, it’s familiar and he’s missed this but just as they’re building a steady momentum it’s over just like that.

Peter clearly expects another and his eyes remain shut and his head tilted for a moment or two even after Brian pulls away. When he does open his eyes, Brian is already back to eating his own food.

“Is that it?” Peter’s voice is slightly raised along with his brows.

“If you finish your food then I’ll kiss you some more.” Brian says casually before shoving a large amount of food into his mouth that if it were anyone else it would be considered a choking hazard.

Peter lets out a tsk of disbelief, butterflies still in his stomach yet ready to argue. Brian, after he swallows, cuts him off with a curt “but only if you finish.” then smiles when Peter rolls his eyes and pouts. It doesn’t take long for Brian to finish then he starts to clear away his trash and tosses it into the trashcan in the kitchen but Peter remains seated by the coffee table and pokes around his takeout with a pout. Bey, Mikoto’s corgi is seated next to him and watches him eat in small bites with pleading eyes. It’s not a bad idea... he could just give the rest to the dog and Peter almost considers caving in but Brian comes back, takes a seat next to them and picks Bey up and watches tv.

Sulking, Peter takes another bite then offers the rest to Brian as he usually does. Old habits die hard but Brian shakes his head and pushes the box away with two fingers. “Technically that’s cheating.” Brian murmurs, scrunching his nose at Peter as he turns away from the tv to look at him. It’s weird not knowing exactly where they are in terms of relationships and if he even has the right to call him boyfriend or if Peter even likes him anymore because sometimes he can feel so distant and impossible to read but they both know one thing is for sure when Brian says, “Finish your food, babe.”

Peter hides a small smile then he picks up the takeout box, and finishes his food.

#me / you / us #cir #this idea came to me last night when you mentioned something about their love languages #and honestly this ended up so long but i thought it would also be interesting to explore the progression of their relationship in stages #using the concept that brian has been saying i love you to peter through food from the moment he first met him

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