Tumgik
#i'm not much too familiar with the manga
tvrningout-a · 6 months
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on a side note, one of my favorite n.aruto soundtracks came on and just like that, it's nostalgia city :' ))) pls share with the class your favorite old anime soundtrack that sends you back in time, be it n.aruto or otherwise <3
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puranami · 6 months
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✿ It's The Little Things ✿
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A/N: My first time writing! Admittedly I'm very nervous, but also so excited!! Kept it simple with a small headcanon list to start, but I tried to write a decent amount for each point, and I hope that everyone is in character :0 Posting at 4am because I have no control over my life...
Summary: Little relationship things with the Strawhats. Can be interpreted as the anime/manga or the live action version of the character.
Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji
Content: SFW, G/N reader, slightest hint of angst in Sanji's part, but otherwise, pure unadulterated fluff! ✿
(Part 2 - Buggy, Shanks, Mihawk) (Part 3 - Franky, Robin, Law, Kid, Killer) (Part 4 - Crocodile, Rosinante/Corazon, Doflamingo)
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Luffy
✿ He absentmindedly draws shapes on your leg, back, or whatever part of you is there as you sit together, whether you are watching the waves, or listening to one of Usopp's stories. He is almost magnetic in the way he ends up attached to you. If you're not feeling it, he will do his best to keep his hands to himself, but as soon as his focus shifts onto anything else, they're back on you, drawing little clouds and hearts. He tried, he really did!
✿ This bottomless pit inhales food like it's going out of fashion, but, much to the bewilderment of the rest of the crew, he will actually feed you from his plate as he eats, even though you are eating your own food. It may be a case of "1 for you, 5 for me," but it's almost instinctive for him; he's sharing something he's passionate about with you, and making sure that, in his eyes, you are happy, healthy and strong. He values your wellbeing more than food; you are one of the most important things in his life.
✿ Despite how chaotic he is in every aspect of his life, his presence brings you to a state of complete peace, even when he's yelling about whatever currently has his attention. Just knowing he is there comforts you in a way that nothing, and no one else can. As long as Luffy is there, being the same old Luffy he always is, you know everything will be alright in the end, and if it isn't alright, well, it isn't the end yet.
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Zoro
✿ He always places a comforting hand on your head when he passes by, or ends up in the same general space as you. It's his version of a hug, a reassuring touch that he is there, and that he's happy to see you. Zoro is very subtle with his affection, at least in public, but even when it's just the two of you, he automatically defaults to the head pat. It comforts him as much as it does you, and the simple action alone conveys his feelings far better than he ever could with words.
✿ You both love silently observing everything going on around you, and it's such a comfortable silence. You just enjoy each others company while watching the world go by, with Zoro also keeping an eye out for any threats, as he does. Sometimes you end up passing silent judgement on what you see, and you have both developed this uncanny ability to gossip without saying a single word. It's honestly unnerving at times, but you are just so familiar with each others micro-expressions that it's second nature.
✿ Insults are terms of endearment. If anyone else called either of you such things, all hell would break loose - swords drawn, blood spilt, bodies hit the floor, the whole song and dance. It actually started out as a form of deflection, with both of you being far too stubborn to admit any feelings were there, even to yourselves; "No, I don't like you, shitstain, I tolerate you." - "Whatever helps you sleep at night, arseface." As you connected though, it just became your thing, and you love seeing who can come up with the funniest insults. Zoro is surprisingly creative in this regard.
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Nami
✿ Nami has a habit of fixing your clothes and hair if something is out of place. It can seem overbearing to others, but she knows you appreciate the gesture. She spent years putting up walls to defend herself, and this is a safe way for her to have a little moment alone with you, giving you gentle little touches without revealing to the world just how important you are to her. It is a very grounding experience for both of you, and you end up doing the same for her on the rare occasion that she isn't completely flawless. She may purposely put things out of place so you have the opportunity to fix something too.
✿ She has an eye for the finer things, and loves getting you little trinkets, and especially pieces of jewellery, which often match or pair with hers, like pendants that fit together to make a whole shape, and such. Just don't ask her where she got them; "Shhh, you don't need to worry about that." All that matters is that you now have a tangible connection to each other, no matter how close, or far apart you are.
✿ Another person who relishes in comfortable silence. Of course you love chatting with each other, and often do so later into the night than you intended. Nami is very quick-witted and your shared snark is always so enjoyable! But it's the moments when you are doing your own thing together, basking in the warmth of that closeness that brings the most joy. Every so often, you will share something interesting or amusing, depending on what you're doing, but you always return to that silence. It's very domestic.
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Usopp
✿ You both end up in regular fits of giggles, that grow into raucous laughter, before devolving into the sounds of various suffocating wildlife, which only fuels the hilarious fire. He doesn't even have to say anything at times; he just has a look, and as soon as he catches your eye with it, you absolutely lose it. The amount of nonsensical inside jokes you have is absurd in itself.
✿ Ever the storyteller, Usopp will wind down the day with you relaxing under the stars, telling you fantastical stories about the impossible feats of the great 'Captain Usopp.' His creativity and imagination are something you greatly admire, and as much as you try to stay awake to appreciate those qualities, the comfort he brings has you dropping off every time. He'll carry you to bed most nights, but sometimes he can only manage to drag you around like a corpse he's trying to hide, and he'll end up waking you up laughing about it.
✿ You automatically link your little fingers whenever you are close enough to. It doesn't even register half of the time, only realising when you need that hand or try to go your separate ways. When this happens, providing there isn't anything that needs your urgent attention, you like to dramatize your parting, playing up that this is the most painful moment of your lives! "Don't you dare let go, Usopp! We can both make it out of this alive!" - "I'm so sorry, I can't hold on any longer, and I refuse to drag you down with me." - "No! Don't say that!" - "I love you so much, but you need to let me go..." Leading to you unlinking your fingers, and exaggerated fake cries of anguish. It annoys everyone around you immensely.
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Sanji
✿ You shamelessly flirt with each other, making everyone around you uncomfortable, groaning at how painful it is. You weren't together when you started playing this romantic game of chicken, giving back everything Sanji threw at you, and then some, but once you figured your feelings out, you actually developed it into a legitimate game where you attempt to be as sickening and obnoxious as possible. If there is no one grimacing, angrily telling you both to pack it in, or simply leaving the room; you aren't flirting enough. There is a points system, and you're currently in the lead. Sanji ends up caving over the things you say, and his brain loses the ability to form words, let alone string them together in a coherent sentence.
✿ Sanji always leaves a drink and a bite to eat for you to wake up to, since he isn't there in person, having to wake up much earlier to prepare the food for the day. Growing up in a restaurant, early starts are just part of his natural rhythm, so it doesn't bother him, but sometimes you try to wake up with him to at least watch the sunrise together, before going back to bed for a couple more hours. He cherishes those mornings, and there is always an extra spring in his step on those days.
✿ He takes every opportunity he can to share a glance and a warm smile, a gentle touch of your hands, or a chaste kiss with you. They are agonisingly brief moments, but Sanji needs them to get him through the day, otherwise he would just cling to you, and neither of you would get anything done! Unknown to you, these moments are also his way of reminding himself that you chose him over everyone else, that he is loved unconditionally, and that he is enough, without having to, in his opinion, burden you with his insecurities. He'll open up to you one day, and you will be able to give him verbal affirmations along with everything else~
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arminsumi · 7 months
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baby came home— 五条
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note: nothing just comfort fluff about satoru coming home to you because i feel the need to apologize in some way for that soul-crushing angst lol
warnings — beware of spoilers for manga !! , not proofread, blood and hugging / kissing though he's bloody, scars mention, he cries, implied dating, "baby"
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curled up in bed, muttering "come home, baby, it's cold without you." into his pillow. you feel sick with worry.
but you're trying to soothe your worries by inhaling his scent, sleeping in his bed, and wearing the shirt he bought in okinawa, the oversized one that he used to say looked so cute on you when you woke up bleary-eyed and brushed your teeth with him.
you fall asleep, numbed by all those shed tears full of hopelessness.
and in your sleep, while you breathe gently and clutch his pillow, the front door clicks open. a soft thumping of footsteps sounds down the hall.
he peers into his room, and finding you there brings so much comfort to his soul. he stands at the doorframe and stares for a while. just because.
all bloodied and beaten up like a soldier that just came off the frontlines, his feet wander over to you even though he planned to wash off the blood before touching you.
" 'toruuu ? " you mumble half-asleep, half stirring at a familiar touch. his heart flutters at the way you just know it's him without even seeing or hearing.
that's how much you love me, huh?
" angel. i'm home. "
you look at him through bleary, stinging eyes. plush lips kiss underneath. the scent of blood isn't disturbing, though it's pungent and filling your lungs — it's satoru's blood, why should you feel creeped out by it?
it's too dark to see all the scars that he collected through the battle.
" thank you for listening to me and staying here. " he mutters, kissing your lips without thinking.
" missed you, come here. "
" i'm all bloody, i'll go clean up first. . . "
" i don't care. come here, come here, satoru. "
that itself makes tears start glitter on his waterline.
" baby, " he chokes up, becoming completely weak as your arms wrap around him. " i missed you so b—ad it hurt. the idea of never being in these arms again hurt more than a—ny w-wound — fuck, hold me tighter. please. don't let go. " his voice breaks terribly, and he begins to cry like you've never heard him cry before.
he feels safe right here, cooped up in your arms. it's always been comical how much bigger he was than you, and yet he curled up like a cat against your body since he was a lanky teenager and even now when he's a big beefy boy.
when he feels you beginning to play with his hair and pull him undercovers, he melts into a tired slumber. it feels like he's never slept in his life. but now that he's back in your arms, he's sure he's going to get the most fulfilling rest of his life.
nothing can hurt the two of you anymore. he's fulfilled his duty as the strongest and gotten rid of the king of curses. now he's home, and he can happily become weak in your loving arms.
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© arminsumi
Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.
Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
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baked-hylian · 2 years
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Why is it so hard to book shop nowadays?
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90sbee · 4 months
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Sometimes a saviour is a soldier afraid of peace
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Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader
4.4k words. Also on ao3.
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He looks at her in quiet admiration.
He doesn’t deserve her. But again, he doesn’t really deserve anything. He already has gotten too much: spoiled by the sweet possibility of life when all his comrades have fallen, their bodies twisted, mangled by titans and enemies alike.
Levi hardly cries, but he wants to cry in that moment. She turns on the stove for him, and rummages through his cabinets. She finds two cups and a sob is trapped inside his throat.
He doesn’t fucking understand why she stays, why she puts up with his sorry ass but, damn it. Damn it if he at least doesn’t try.
The war is over, but the demons still haunt Levi. Luckily for him, the last member of his Squad seems focused on remaining by his side as they both face this new enemy: peace.
This was !!! My first fic written in English, actually. Also my first (and only time so far) writing for aot. Levi is such an angsty angel, and this story wouldn’t leave my head, so I had to end up writing it, ofc. This has been in the drafts for... months. Too many months already. And tbh I'm not a fan of how it came out. But. Posting it in case someone else can enjoy Levi finally getting some love and comfort, sjsjs.
Content: Use of 3rd person pronouns. No use of y/n. Mostly Levi's pov. Reader was part of his Squad. Post!Rumbling Levi. Written with the manga ending in mind. A lot of fluff, rude Levi even if he doesn't mean it (but reader knows he means no harm). Healing. Spooning (Levi as the little spoon btw. He deserves it).
Warnings: depressive thoughts, self confidence issues. Mentions of past violence (but nothing gruesome, it's all in passing). SFW. No beta reader we die like everybody in Aot here.
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They always meet. Every single day, she leaves her little flat to find him near the fountain in the Marleyan park, eager to push his wheelchair and pass some time with him.
Levi doesn’t understand. When Onyankopon, or Falco, or Gabi let her take the wheelchair, he just ponders. He could understand why they would accompany him: because he is old? because they feel pity of him?… But her?
Nonetheless, every single afternoon, she comes to him. He doesn’t recall when this custom began. It’s like slowly, but surely, she started digging a place into his routine. She was part of his remaining squad, and he really didn’t see any point to her bubbling-self still being by his side.
Still, he appreciates her visits. She exchanges pleasantries with Gabi, already smiling. Why is she smiling?
“Hi, Captain,” she says. Should he feel mocked? He isn’t a captain anymore and the title feels too much, even if it’s comforting in some way. Levi doesn’t reply. He just nods, silently acknowledging her presence. “Is it okay if we go to the stalls for a while, Captain?” She inquires, as if it was the first time they did it, and not a weekly occurrence. His jaw tenses. He doesn’t understand, still. She surely pities him. She has to.
He agrees to her proposal, though.
“Sure,” he replies, barely any emotion on his face.
She smiles at him. For a moment, they look at each other. She sees that familiar scarred face, a grey eye gazing into her soul. He sees the older face of her remaining squad member, some wrinkles next to her eyes, her figure dressed in green. For some reason, he liked that colour on her.
He doesn’t share that with her, though.
“Let’s get going,” she adds, a little chuckle in her voice — he can hear it — as she starts pushing the wheelchair. They check out the little shops that are already so familiar. Sometimes she signals a piece of jewellery or clothes. She asks for his opinion, or points at a silly artwork, in hopes of making him laugh.
When the cold starts to set in, she stops them in front of a coffee shop.
“Wait here a second, Captain,” she tells him.
“Where would I go, anyway?” He wants to say, snarky, but he doesn’t really bother in opening his mouth. He stays silent still, perking his head up to see what’s she’s doing.
“Oi. coffee?” He complains.
She directs her gaze to him and chuckles, paying the vendor.
“I know you like tea but it’s time to broaden your horizons,” she explains. She comes up to him again, and hands him one of the cups. He sighs, but accepts the drink still.
“What is it this time?”
“Just chocolate. Hot chocolate,” she answers, already sipping hers.  She lets out a content sigh when the warmth of it starts to fill her belly.
“I don’t like chocolate,” Levi mutters under his breath. He is lying and she knows it.
“Tsk. That’s not true. Everybody likes chocolate.”
“… Fine,” he sips his drink and, admittedly, enjoys it. She hands him her drink so she can push the wheelchair again, and he takes it, guarding both cups on his lap, a familiar action for the two of them now.
“Where do we go?” She asks.
Levi shrugs. “As if I had a choice.”
She looks at him still, and when he can see her, barely from his peripheral vision, he sees a softer face. She’s waiting for his reply. He looks at her, looks at her lips. She isn’t smiling anymore. Levi sighs, suddenly feeling guilty.
He doesn’t understand still why she does this for him.
“Captain?” She says, just above a whisper, since there are people around them and they both just want to have a calm evening, without the risk of being recognised.
Levi nods before he even opens his mouth.
“The bridge.”
“Good,” she agrees as he sips from his drink again, guided by her. He does feel warmer. Levi inspects the people around him in silence, letting himself be carried, taken to a nicer place. “Hange would have like this,” he thinks. He looks down to suddenly realise he is clenching his fist, hard. “If you could even call it a hand…”
“We’re here, Captain,” she announces, letting his wheelchair rest next to a bench, overlooking the water. She takes a seat next to him, and Levi hands her the drink. He wonders if she noticed how tense he’s been feeling today.
“Be quick with that, brat, or it will get cold,” he warns, as if to pre-emptively shut down any words from her. He’s not sure he could handle it.
She just nods.
“It’s still warm,” she mentions after a moment.
The sunset is taking its place on the sky, a beautiful palette of oranges and pinks against a very flat horizon. A reminder of what was once lost.
“Good,” he says.
Levi looks at her. She is still looking forward, features illuminated by the falling sun, breeze caressing her face. There is something in his heart that aches, but he doesn’t want to think about that. He doesn’t dare to. Levi is old, too old, and too broken. And she only pities him.
He coughs to catch her attention, though.
“Hmh, yeah?” She immediately says.
“I heard the Scouts were going back to Paradis tomorrow,” he begins, the question lingering in the air. The small group was leaving first time in the morning.
“Yep.”
Levi blinks, expecting her to say more, but she doesn’t. He doesn’t want to ask. It feels… too much. He feels too exposed doing that, lower lip trembling.
“Are you going?” He finally dares to ask.
She turns back to him again, and looks at him with the sweetest gaze. Levi doesn’t miss how she looks at his lips first.
“I’m not.”
“Why?”
“I don’t have anything there,” she replies, matter-of-factly. Levi wants to hit his head against something, still uncertain about what that means. Does that mean that she has something here? Someone?
She must notice his doubts, so she lowers her gaze. “I mean. You know I lost my family during my first years as a Scout. And knowing that we tried to stop Eren… All the military forces in the island won’t be very happy to see me. Or any of us. I’ve done my part. I do not want more fighting.”
“… Right”. That still doesn’t answer his question, but it is enough to satisfy his curiosity without seeming to eager. He sips his drink again: it’s getting colder.
“You didn’t want to go, Captain?” There it was again, that fucking title that felt like a joke. He chuckles, not looking at her anymore but rather at the sunset.
“Why do you still call me like that?” He spits back.
“Captain?”
“Yeah,” His tone is unintentionally rude, but he can’t help it, not even around her.
“Well… It’s a sign of respect, don’t you think?”
Levi chuckles, amused.
“I never took you for a polite person.” He doesn’t want to look at her still. She hasn’t added anything, said anything else. What is she thinking of?
She looks at him. There’s a warmth in her belly which has nothing to do with the chocolate anymore. She knows: Her Captain has been way more vulnerable and open since the Rumbling. The little gestures that he could so easily hide before are now an open book. Or at least she feels that way, since she was always one to look at him.
It was so easy to just… stare at him. Admire him in every sense of the word, even now. When they were both soldiers they would fight alongside each other, against innumerable dangers. He was barely visible in the spectrum: always so fast, always so precise. A ray of dark hair and strong limbs, destroying everything to provide peace, to provide protection.
There was no point in denying how she felt about him… Except, maybe, to him.
“I don’t think I would like going back to Paradis,” she finally adds, finishing her drink. He seems to reflect on that idea for a moment, before nodding. He wants to ask why but he doesn’t dare to. “I’m just… comfortable here,” she finishes with a sigh. “This is okay.”
“That’s good,” he says, barely a spark of enthusiasm in his voice, but enough for her to notice.
She looks up at him again. And he feels tiny and scared suddenly, because she looks at him with wonder and care. Levi doesn’t mean to, but he ends up letting his drink fall from his hands, whether due to his nervousness or the state of his hand after the war.
“Shit,” he spits, upset.
“Sh, it’s alright, Captain.” In a second she is picking up the cup, handing him a handkerchief to dry his hands. She walks a few steps to throw both cups into a trashcan and is again, by his side. Such a quick interaction so as to ease his shame, he could notice it. “Are you alright?”
Levi still doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why she still treats him with such respect, why she seems to care so much for him. But he wants to find out, somehow. He barely nods, but she notices it.
“Good,” she says, while taking the handkerchief back. She is about to put it into her bag again when she feels a hand grabbing hers.
Levi.
He doesn’t even say anything. He doesn’t know how. She seems to understand, though, squeezing his hand, softly. Levi quickly lets her hand go, his cheeks going red. She gets behind the wheelchair again, as the sun is about to disappear, and Levi can hear her chuckling.
“Let’s get you home, Captain.”
He stays quiet, unsure if he could even say something useful.
There’s so much he doesn’t know how to say. How to do.
While she is pushing his chair he notices it again. A slight tremor in her right hand. “My wrist seems to ache lately… Must be from holding the blades for so many years,” she had explained in passing a couple weeks ago. He realises that it’s probably taking a strain on her to push him every fucking day.
“Oi,” he says.
“Yeah?”
“Stop pushing me. I can handle it,” he explains, tone serious.
“Oh, no,” her hand is trembling still. “It’s fine, it’s no bother for me, Captain.”
“… It’s an order,” he commands after a moment. She stops in her tracks and he can hear a gentle laugh coming from behind him.
“It had been a while since that, huh.” Confidently, she places one of her hands on his shoulder, gently tapping it. Levi smiles. Barely curving his lips, but he does. He is about to be brave, hold her hand on his shoulder when she removes it from him. “Shit,” he thinks. “Too slow… Too slow? Slow for what? Tsk.”
Despite his missing fingers, he can still push his wheelchair quite properly. It also helps that he can see his street far ahead. She walks comfortably besides him, a silence and gentle ghost as his most devoted companion.
Yeah. There’s definitely something aching in his chest. He had been noticing the past days, feeling getting more painful as they both approach his place. And it has nothing to do with his faulty joints or damaged body or excessive age.
When they reach his door, she asks for his key. Levi gives it to her, his hand lingering for a second too long, reflecting on the brief touch of hands as she grabs it to unlock the door.
He is tired.
And he feels incredibly silly when he realises he doesn’t want her to leave.
“There we go, Captain. I help you in?” she suggests with a bright smile, opening the door.
“… Yes.”
She steps inside and pushes the chair into his living room, almost getting it next to his couch.
“That’s enough” he decides, in a semblance of independency he still wants to maintain.
She nods. “Okay… I guess… I’ll get going, Captain.”
Levi lifts up his gaze. He wants to ask… He wants to know… He savours her image for a moment, her tired expression and the way her dress now looks clumsy and wrinkled but he doesn’t care. Before, before everything had ended up like this he would remind every single cadet to iron their uniforms, all the outfits presentable, so as to look like respectable soldiers and honourable bodies if the occasion arose. Now she can have the privilege of looking messy. Of not worrying about death so often.
“No,” he mutters.
“Huh?” she inquires, taking a step forward.
“Shit,” Levi thinks. “I… I want tea,” he makes up a quick lie.
“Oh, sure. Yes, Captain.” She leaves her bag on the couch and goes into the kitchen, getting a kettle full of water.
He looks at her in quiet admiration.
He doesn’t deserve her. But again, he doesn’t really deserve anything. He already has gotten too much: spoiled by the sweet possibility of life when all his comrades have fallen, their bodies twisted, mangled by titans and enemies alike.
Levi hardly cries, but he wants to cry in that moment. She turns on the stove for him, and rummages through his cabinets. She finds two cups and a sob is trapped inside his throat.
He doesn’t fucking understand why she stays, why she puts up with his sorry ass but, damn it. Damn it if he at least doesn’t try.
He stands up. His body still holds that ability, though his legs get tired rather quickly. He can still walk, so he does until he reaches the kitchen. She is still deciding on the teas when she sees him.
“Oh, no, Captain, please, just don’t…”
He interrupts her, grabs her waist carelessly and pushes her towards the couch, barely moving her.
“Let me handle it myself.”
“Levi…” She whispers, their faces inches apart.
“Go. Sit,” he mumbles, biting his lips and sending his eyes lower, so as to avoid her face.
“Are you sure?” She inquires a moment after, still close to him. He notices she has a hand on his waist as well, a protective aid making sure he stays on two feet.
“Yes,” he says, more commanding this time. He grabs that hand of hers and pushes her away gently now.
She nods, understandingly.
“I’ll be in the living room,” she adds.
Levi nods at her, making sure she finally gets that ass of hers in the couch. He is now faced with his kitchen. Most of the cups and teas, everything has been moved lower, so as to accommodate to his wheelchair. Slowly, he kneels, searching for a specific flavour for her. When he finally finds the peppermint and rose one, he mentally cheers. He stands up again, slowly, as if to show confidence, making sure from his peripheral view that she isn’t coming to his aid.
She isn’t. He catches her averting her eyes, though. A confirmation that she has been staring.
He decides to stare as well. Supporting himself on his weakened legs, he waits for the kettle to boil, while looking at her. It’s as if she could notice that, because her head doesn’t move, still fixated on an indescriptible point in his living room.
“Oi, what you looking at?” He says, a bit more light-hearted.
A smile forms on her lips before she even turns her head towards him. She doesn’t answer. Just keeps smiling at him.
“Fuck,” he thinks when he realises he has also slightly curved his lips.
Quickly he turns towards the stove, the kettle already boiling. Levi carefully fills the cups with water, letting the leaves rest. He lifts his gaze up to her for a second but it is already enough for her to notice.
“Need help with the cups?” Her, always so worried, so in tune with his needs. No need for words.
“Of fucking course.”
Still, the only answer he gives her is a polite nod. She stands up, approaching him.
“I’ll handle it, Captain. Just take a seat.”
He lets out a sigh, taking himself to the couch and plopping himself there.
“It’s hard,” Levi thinks as he sees her come back to the living room, two cups in her hands. He accepts the drink, his gaze not leaving her features. “I… I can’t.”
He knows he can’t accept kindness: he doesn’t know how to. Still, he tenses his jaw and forces himself to sip the tea as she takes a seat next to him.
“Peppermint, huh?” She hums mostly to herself.
 “… Yeah,” comes out of his mouth, unsure, less braver than expected. Is he insecure? Has he made a mistake?
“Good choice” She declares and he breathes again, realising that he had been holding his breath. “Bet you already knew that, right?” She adds, cocking her head.
Levi looks at her again. He has been avoiding her eyes but he hadn’t been trained as a soldier to back down in times of peace.
“I did,” he says, his tone firm, a very weak attempt at showing confidence still. “It’s the one you would always ask for when we would have meetings with the Scouts.”
“It’s good tea.” Her tone seems softer now.
Levi hums, too deep inside his mind to notice it.
She wonders. Wonders if he has ever realized that the only reason she would wander through the headquarters late at night was just to be found and reprimanded by him, the way she would be easily entertained by Levi’s stern face. Wondered if Hange had ever told him about the time she had fallen asleep in their office and woke up, mumbling his name, much to Hange’s delight, though they had promised to keep it a secret.
He looks down at his legs, at his carpeted floor.
He wonders if she had ever noticed the way he would mindlessly lick his lips after looking at her, the boring uniform suddenly a beautiful outfit, making her stand out. Wonders if it was too late to tell her that, yes, after Hange and her had found him, and stitched him up, that he had heard every single word she had uttered near his heart, softly pressing her timid hands on his chest. There hadn’t been time then to discuss anything or even think if it had meant anything else than old scouts being protective of each other, but now…
They finish their teas in silence. It isn’t uncomfortable, rather the opposite, despite the fact that Levi has started nervously tapping his feet against the floor. It is dark outside already, the light from the lamps flowing into Levi’s house, a dog barking a few blocks away.
She stands up, makes sure to wash her cup in the sink and put it away before returning to him.
“Captain?” She mutters. No need for more words.
Levi hands her the cup with slow movements, as if trying to prolong that insignificant action for as long as possible. And when she is already about to head into the kitchen, little plate and teacup in her hand, he decides to be brave. No more lying to himself, no more being a coward. Too many people have died, have bleed, have sacrificed the little they had for a selected group of survivors to be able to live. To enjoy the remaining Earth. For the little ones that survived to be able to find some meaning. Something worth all the pain.
Basking in the fear serves no one. In fact, makes all the death meaningless.
So, Levi looks up at her and grabs her hand, even if he is scared still. Trembling fingers dancing on hers until they secure her hand softly in his. He feels warm even if he doesn’t know what to say, how to convey what he feels. Such a shadow of the man he was. So stupid now.
Levi just wants her to say.
She gasps at the contact but quickly composes herself. A shy smile showing up on her face. They stay like that for a moment, neither daring to break the silence.
“Levi?” She asks after a moment, moving closer to his face, as if asking for permission.
He can only look at her lips in reply.
She shortens the distance between them and kisses him on his lips. It isn’t a big kiss, too flashy or provocative: just a tender contact between two broken people. As soon as he has processed what was going on, she has already moved forward, pressing a kiss on the tip of his nose.
And then, even higher, another kiss on his forehead, her lips remaining close to his face. Levi can’t say anything. Barely reacting. But when she looks at his eyes, she is greeted by the sweet glimmer of tears in them.
Levi. Happy, at last.
And as if reading his mind, she utters: “Do you want me to stay, Levi?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
She complies. In the quiet, late hours of the night, Levi wakes up, his body feeling too rested already. It was a habit hard to break, he wouldn’t sleep much anyway. He sighs still, feeling her body pressing against his, holding him from behind. She has one hand on his shoulder, the other keeping him safe and secured, hugging his waist close. He dares to smile and grab that hand across his belly with both of his hands, so as to make sure that it is real: he is being held. There is someone else with him. Levi isn’t alone. Someone is taking care of him. Someone he’s been devoted to for so many years.
He wants to nuzzle up closer, hide in her chest or neck and feel more.
But he doesn’t dare to. He can’t allow himself to do that yet. 
So he stays awake in silence, hearing the soothing and steady rhythm of her heartbeat.
Levi still doesn’t understand, though.
He doesn’t want to think of why she has chosen him, how he got this privilege so late in his life, when all hope seems to be lost and the thought of a partner didn’t cross his mind at all. He also doesn’t know what to do with this gift, this blessing. Why? How? He is such a crippled shadow of what he used to be. Slow, so consumed by roughness and violence and so useless now.
He has always had something to fight for: his life, his friends, his Squad, Erwin, Hange. Yet since the Rumbling he has just… fallen behind. He is just existing and it seems like his body has finally caught up to his age: no longer agile and strong, but a weakened man, finally leaving the survival mode that has characterised every single aspect of his life. He doesn’t have any goals or dreams now. Everything had been slowly trampled down like the titans destroying all land and all life.
He shivers, remembering that day and holds her hand tighter.
Once he had completed the promise made to Erwin, his last order, he had nothing more. No more commands. No more slaying titans.
Just existing.
He doesn’t want that. He has been a fighter, a rebel, a monster his whole life. He only knew of endurance and compliance with the spirit of life, of resistance. He doesn’t know of anything else: the calmness, the quietness, the routine walks and just reading books and sitting on his porch… That is not him. That isn’t life. Being able to choose things for himself, devour life gently and enjoy it instead of painfully trying to keep it close, to grip it between calloused fingers… Peace isn’t familiar.
He has nothing to devote himself to, nothing to prove or fight for.
“Yeah,” he thinks. “Everything is… meaningless… Or it was.”
He closes his eyes, relinquishing himself in the warm body against his.
Some things… Some things have meaning still.
Her.
The way she would scrunch her nose when laughing or buy him drinks or attempt to make him laugh or wear that damn stupid wrinkled dress and — “Fuck. I know her so much by now…”
She had been a Scout too. She had fought and devoted her heart and did everything a Scout had to do. She had fulfilled her duty in the same way he did. She has survived and she doesn’t regret a single thing. Not even this life.
She is at peace.
He wants to sob.
He doesn’t understand peace. Sure, it was his goal, what he always dreamed of, but, damn it. Levi had never thought he would actually get to see something resembling it. Unlike her. She understood what it was: she has accepted peace with open arms and a smile that — fuck, somehow— has been shining on her face throughout the years. Despite so much pain and death…  She still allows herself to fucking live in peace. She forgave herself for the death, for the pain and crimes and let go.
He isn’t sure if he can do the same.
Peace is foreign, strange even. An oddity. And he isn’t stupid, he knows that time would run up someday and that things would turn against them for a second time.
But, still, the promise of the rest of his life in peace lingers.
He could have it.
He fucking could.
Levi reflects on those thoughts for a moment, silent still.
He thinks he can get to an agreement. Maybe, when she wakes up in the morning, he can try to spill his soul to her a little. Try to understand how she handles this life, how she can get up in the mornings after killing so much, and just have tea with him.
But for now, in the quietness of the night, as the old warrior he was, he does the only thing he knows: he promises to dedicate his heart once more.
He finally has a reason, a purpose, something worth protecting again.
Levi lifts his hand, crossing it on his chest the way all Scouts would do. But he doesn’t press it on his heart, but rather, moves it to hold her hand, the one resting on his shoulder. He squeezes it gently, suddenly feeling too overwhelmed by her. By the silent love she had been proclaiming to him all these years and that he couldn’t reciprocate before.
Yes. Now it is the time.
Levi would dedicate his heart once more.
To her and only her.
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That may have been the cheesiest ending ever written but !!!! He deserves it, I know. Also someone stop me before I write for Hange, the feelings got to me indeed. Dividers by @/cafekitsune @/saradika and @/vase-of-lilies
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absolutebl · 2 months
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These Weeks in BL - This Is Very Late, Or Right on Time depending on where you sit on the temporal debate team
Sorry I got distracted by work. In my defense: I was paid.
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
March 2024 Wk 1 & 2
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube grey) ep 12 fin - Unfortunately, there was singing. But what can we do?
A soft charming warm hug of a show about crushes and mind reading and self worth, with no-fuss execution from a consummate team and an OG lead pair proving why they remain eternal and deserve to grow up. Look, here’s the thing, Cherry Magic is a great Thai BL in its own right not comparing it to any other iteration. But even when I do compare (and I've seen all the Cherries and read the manga) it still stands. This is a great show, a solid adaptation, and a pleasing take on the original yaoi. I personally like it better than the Japanese live action, but I think that’s because I just really like Thai BL and I LOVE TayNew. I doubted them for this and I shouldn’t have. They did a great job, as did the sides. I will say all the kissing was both present and better than any other iteration. As it should be. Definitely one for the rewatch rotation. 9/10 
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Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 1 of 8 (10?) - Damn it, I love it. And I don't want to. It’s more classic BL than I thought it would be, and far less Only Friends or Playboyy. (Thank fuck.) We got a big cast and a lot of tropes going down out the gate, including SMITTEN popular hot guy versus nerd with secret identity. (Incidentally, Khem did drop into rude / informal when arguing with his Aunt and defending his ma. Bratty boy.) The leads have good chemistry (First always does), and everyone is very pretty. The main boy reminds me of J-Min's role (and look) in Love Class 2. I am entertained. (And faintly wonder why this isn't a MosBank vehicle.)
To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) eps 1-3 of 8- High school sweethearts who had a bad break up reunite a decade later when both of them have full time jobs (celebrity & doctor). Dr Ji is a familiar face (hi Dream it's been a LONG time) and everyone is way too old for high school, but I guess I prefer this to child actors?
I'm enjoying it, actually, the cast may be older but they're solid as a result and the chemistry is on point for a pulp. Whether our celebrity is on the DL or cheating or something else remains to be seen but he sure is smitten. The way he LOOKS at Ji = hawt.
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Frankly? Celebrity/doctor is a good pairing and this is a solid Thai BL. I hope we have a nice angsty reason for the break-up and we're not in another Promise situation. I like the sides too. Carry on, little show, I'm disposed to be pleased with you.
City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) eps 5-6 of 12 - I am enjoying it, actually. It’s incredibly silly. But I don’t really mind. STOP SINGING. 
1000 Years Old eps 3-4 of 12 - I love that these kids basically adopted a vampire pet. And one of them accidentally got a vampire boyfriend. This suddenly turned from a PNR into a family drama about domestic gays opening a food stall and I'm not mad about it. Nothing makes sense and I don't care because... rainbow umbrella!
A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV grey) eps 1 of 10 - I don’t love it. I make no bones about the fact that a pining uke rarely works for me, especially if he’s younger (cute supportive besties not withstanding), the power dynamic isn’t good. I always like Kimmon, he’s a stiff actor but v pretty. (I shallow af.) Still it’s time he started acting his age… literally. Having to watch ads again as well… for this? Ooof. I'm not sure I'm strong enough.
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 6 fin - It was very cute. I liked that there was uke instigated kisses. However I have some reservations on this one, much as I enjoyed it.
Adapted from Mayo Tsurakame’s manga, production team included Tadaaki Horai (My Love Mix-Up!) and Takeshi Miyamoto (Old Fashion Cupcake). Essentially Perfect Propose was about finding hope in a person when all other hope is gone. This show focuses on apathy, and perforce is somewhat apathetic and un-engaging especially as the pacing was off (and with only 6 episodes? now) However, this is countered by great visuals, good archetypes, and a clean story of childhood sweethearts reuniting after loosing their way in life. I landed on 8/10 mostly for a demanding younger seme and some great kisses. 
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Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube) eps 2-3 of 11 - Oh it’s great. I love it. I’m still worried by how gritty and "Taiwanese short-esk" it feels, but wow does this hit all my favorite taboo tropes and buttons. I also adore the little found fam, they the cutest gay older bros ever. The younger one who wants so bad to grow up and take care of the older one and pushes himself because into self sacrifice that’s the only model of love he has. ARGH. BOYS. Why so much pain, just smooch already! Sheesh. It's on YouTube for some of us, here's the schedule.
AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) eps 6-7 of 10 - They remain questionably cute, and that is probably going to be my ultimate review of this show. Awe cameo! (Hi babies, hope the ghosts are leaving you alone.) The irony does not escape me that the person in the relationship with the most emotional acumen is, in fact, the robot and not the human. I'm sure that's meant to be deep.
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Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 6 - A tortured second chance romance featuring a reported and a successful celebrity(?) academic. The kid actors look nothing like their adult counterparts, but they do look much younger. So, okay. Ah the utter embarrassment of first love. Oh I like it a lot, so very messy Japanese emo. Sigh. Here we go again.
Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) eps 8-9 of 10 - They are a cute couple. They both trying so hard and so confused and awkward and polite in trying to understand each other but TERRIBLE at communication. 
My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) eps 3-4 of 8 - I don’t know how I feel about this. But I do know it’s not my thing because it’s not BL. I’ll finish it because it’s short but… meh. 
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It's done, ready to binge, but I have no time
What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.
The Servant and the Young Master (Vietnam YouTube) - I will try when I have a window of time.
Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will watch eventually.
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It's airing but...
Dead Friend Forever (Thai iQIYI) - finished it's run and I won't be watching it. It's horror with BL elements and the ending, well, let's just say that's a "no thank you" from me.
Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… no. I'm not watching this. I dislike this franchise.
Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.
Takumi-kun (2023) movie version AKA Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa released on FOD 3/5/2024. The original project was a 6 ep series. Having seen all the previous iterations and read the (terrible) yaoi I admit to being intrigued. If anyone finds eng subbed please let me know with a link in comments or in a DM? For those intersted in this show, probably the world's first true BL franchise I chat all about it here.
Gossip
James Supamongkon has withdrawn from the series Love Upon A Time and the NetJames pair is no more. Net Siraphop will continue with the historical BL project alongside a new partner. Can I interest you in Tod Techit... almost as pretty, legs for days...
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The Complete Chronology of the Assault Case Against GMMTV Actor Win Pawin
I'm merely directing your attention to these articles, I do not wish for discussion of this content on this blog. Please don't ask for further info, I don't know the answer, follow the link that's why it's there.
Next Week Looks Like This:
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Still Coming
3/21 Two Worlds (Thai IQIYI) 10 eps - announced here. One of those "he's dead Jim so time travel" thingames staring MaxNat. I'm over them but Asia flipping loves this trope and I do adore MaxNat. Phupha (Gun) and Khram (Nat) love each other but Phupha is murdered. Then Khram is pulled to a parallel world where, 12 years ago, Khram and Tai (Max) were in love. However, Khram was killed by Thai’s dad. Now Tai finds alter-Khram apparently alive. But then there is ALSO an alter-Phupha (played by Gun Thanawat who is Khom the repressed butler bodyguard from Unforgotten Night).
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Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
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How flipping adorable is this vampire with his big gay umbrella? SUCH A DORK and we got more vampire dorks coming.
Thailand has found its vampire line and it's awkward and geeky and quite cheerful. 'Bout what we expected, to be fair. It's a good look for them.
And vampires.
In other news...
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That's your random moment of thirst, Lim Jimin shirtless AKA my Just B bias (I mean, I could talk about how good his extensions are and how I love a husky voice in Kpop but really, just LOOK at him). I'm very very very shallow, remember? Full vid is here.
Why am I mentioning Lim Jimin (aside from the obvious)? If Just B doesn't break soon, I could some of them transitioning to BL. Jimin in particular would be a win for us, obvs.
Also, can we talk about Bain (my bias wrecker) KILLING it on Build Up? I had no idea he was that good. Anygay, this has been your Kpop end note.
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Seriously tho, is ANYONE else watching Build-Up?
(Last week - well, 2 weeks ago)
Streaming services are listed how I'm (usually watching) which is with a USA based IP
The tag bragade: @doorajar
If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will. Easy peesy.
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bimobuddy · 3 months
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"I Wanna Play with the Kitty!"
SFW Hazbin TK fic
Lee!Husk, Ler!Niffty
A little bit of huskerdust if you look real close
Spoilers
Summary: Husk is just trying to finish up work, when he's suddenly handed a hyperactive little maid to look after, who quickly decides it's playtime
He didn't know exactly what time it was, all he knew was that it was time to close the bar, since business was getting slow and most people were turning in, heading back to their rooms. Husk sighed, letting out pent up stress from the day, stretched his wings, shook them out, then started to wipe down the counter.
It wasn't long before he heard a familiar voice coming down the hall, though instead of the usual crazy rambling, she was heard whimpering, immediately catching his attention and making his ears perk.
Angel walked into the lobby with Niffty in his arms being cradled like a child. He walked over to Husk and unceremoniously plopped her on his head.
"Aw what- *sigh* Come on!" Husk grumbled, looking up at Angel, who put his hands on his hips. "Her favorite side character in a book just died, it's your turn to watch her." "Manga." Niffty corrected, popping back up, wearing Husk's hat. "Manga, sorry sweetie. Anyway, Husk, you watch her, I told her she could play with the kitty." Niffty grinned, nodding. "I wanna play with the kitty."
"Angel are you effin' kidding me? I just got off work, I don't have time to babysit."
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't have a soft spot for kids."
"She's twenty two."
".....Look me in the eyes and tell me you honestly see her as an adult."
"..... Fair."
Angel crossed his arms and nodded with an 'Mm-hm!' And made his way back toward the stairs. Husk could feel Niffty tug on his ears, earning an irritated groan from the bartender. "Niff, if you're gonna be up there, at least be gentle, I know to you I look like this big fluffy kitty-cat, but those are actually my ears you're pullin' on."
Niffty stopped for a moment, as if processing this information she's been given. "Okay!" She said, starting to rub his ears again, gentler this time. A bit too gentle. It tickled.
Husk let out a huff before he managed to shut himself up. "N-Niff, why don't you do somethin' ehelse for a while, kay?" He said, reaching up to try and grab her. Unfortunately, she was much faster, evading his hands and crawling down onto his back, between his wings before settling there.
"Nifft- no dont- grr... Alright fine, you can stay there, just let me work, kay kid?" He asked, before returning to work. And that's how it stayed for the next five or so minutes; Husk working, and Niffty behaving aside from the occasional opening of the cat demon's wings to look at them or to make them flap and pretend he was flying.
Husk didn't completely mind this. Angel was right, he did have a soft spot for kids, and as far as he was concerned, Niffty counted.
Unfortunately though, her grip on his wings shifted more toward the base, where they met his back. Not prepared for the sudden shock, Husk wasn't able to hide the sudden grin on his face or stop the surprised chuckles as his wings fluffed up.
"A-Alright, Niff, I thihihink ihit's time t-to gehet dohohown-" He started, trying to reach back to grab her, but his spread wings were blocking his arms from getting to her.
Niffty only started to scritch and pet his wings after this. "But Husk! I'm being gentle see??" Husk snorted and had to lean against the counter to hold himself up, not wanting to drop and accidentally hurt her. He buried his face in his arms and just laughed, his shoulders and wings shaking as he did so.
The more Niffty ran her fingers through his feathers, the more they fluttered and twitched as he snorted and laughed into the counter. He knew he could have stopped her, but he worried in doing so he'd either hurt her or make her start crying again, neither of which he wanted, so he decided to just try and endure it.
"Oooo is this where your wing bones connect??" She asked before gently digging into the spot just under his shoulder blades. Husk let out a loud laugh, standing straight up, his wings involuntarily flapping a little, tempted to fold in, but Niffty was there.
He was quick to snatch her up with his tail before she fell to the floor, and he held her up in front of him. "Alright missy, I'm starting to get the idea that this isn't an accident anymore." He panted. Niffty just smiled at him. And he couldn't help but grin back.
"Hey Niff, why don't we go pay a certain spider a visit, hm?"
"And I'll kill it and make it into a puppet!"
"Haha, no, we're not killing this one. Not literally anyway."
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akq96618 · 3 months
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[ King ohger soul eater au ]
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here it is! the rough idea doodles for other kings! It's just started with giramie (you can find them here ), but i think it will be fun if i added the others too
+ some more trivia below
(warning: big spoiler for soul eater manga, and me nerding over soul eater)
for those who aren't familiar with soul eater, the series revolve around the story of meister and demon weapon (human who can transform into weapons). The students of of Shibusen, school build by 'shinigami' take on missions to collect souls and protect the city from the world's threats.
The school parted into 2 types of class, N.O.T (Normally Overcome Target, class for those who just want to control their powers, pretty much just like a normal class) and E.A.T (Especially Advantaged Talent, consist of the 10% students in shibusen, class for students/agents who use their powers to battle evil)
-this au sets years after soul eater manga ending, where human and witch can already living side by side
-Morfonia used to be in NOT class, but then she moved to EAT class after reunited in shibusen and being partners with rita (they're childhood friends)
-Suzume supposed to be gira's weapon partner, since the Hastie and Dybowski family been on some kind of..bound? relationship? for a long time. But racles don't want gira to be a meister, so he took both of the dybowski siblings as his weapon (welp, gira still finds jera anyway)
-Top 3 EAT class academical rank: Rita, Himeno, Yanma (it's quite a tie with jeramie sometimes), gira is somewhere in the middle, or below-
-Top 3 EAT class physical rank (as in like, PE class): Gira, Rita, Jeramie, (you know where yanma at right)
-yeah i use racs and himeno's p1 hair bcs i love them
-Rita can see someone's soul, while Gira can 'sense' someone's soul perfectly (like, what kind of people they are) and know kishin's soul before they turned into kishin egg (kishin egg: evil souls)
-Sebastian is not a student but he still go to shibusen to accompany himeno as her butler and demon weapon
-before met yanma, shiokara used to be Mayuta's demon weapon partners along with usuba (sniper rifle) and akka (brass knuckle ring)
-Jeramie is a child of demon weapon and witch, his mom run away from the witch realm because she possesses healing magic, which is unforgivable and hated by the witches
-and jera got his black blood from his mother, who didn't know that she was used to be medusa's (antagonist witch in SE) experiment object. Medusa thought she's a failed object, so she throw nephila out of her object list.
-before Jeramie met Gira, he wonder all over death city to find who killed and ate his parents' soul
-Gira don't really like to live in the Hastie's main mansion , so he rented apartments near shibusen together with Jera after decided to be his Meister. As a condition to allow gira living out of the Hastie household, Racles ask Duuga, the Hastie's butler, to visit gira's place from time to time
-Jeramie had this 'madness of hope' that triggered his black blood
-i'm thinking about 'madness of justice' for gira but 'justice' will suit rita more...
i don't think i'll elaborate more about this au, but who knows
here's more giramie in madness + blackblood armor bcs i like to draw them in that
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general-cyno · 6 months
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somehow managed to reach wano and after missing zoro for 50+ chapters I'm so happy these two are back to their single braincell sharing shenanigans.
like. the way luffy was so happy to see zoro again (mind you, this wasn't nearly as long as the 2 year timeskip) that he momentarily forgot the poor sick tama to launch himself straight into zoro's arms?
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the matching wide happy grins? the hug? the fact that zoro's the first of the straw hats luffy sees after separating from zoro's group in zou, kinda like how zoro was the first to arrive at sabaody after 2 years? they're crazy (affectionate)
and of course, it's time for the tomfoolery to unfold as soon as they're reunited again
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I think the contrast between opla luffy not only remembering wado's name (albeit uh kinda botched) but also caring for wado ichimonji while zoro was injured vs manga luffy not remembering why nidai kitetsu's name sounded familiar and nearly giving zoro an aneurysm by mishandling the sword on top of that is genuinely, hysterically funny btw. different zolu flavors and all of them tasty
I love their interactions with tama so far too! zoro protecting and shielding them both from hawkins with quite literally his own body was really good
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and it will never not get to me how easy it is for luffy to leave his back open for zoro to protect when facing enemies, ever since they met, simply bc he has that much faith in zoro's strength and willingness to keep him (and others, when it occurs) safe. plus, to go back to zou for a bit - it's just sweet that luffy knows zoro more than well enough to look beyond all the layers of grumpiness and ostensibly harsh words at times. zoro didn't seem exactly eager to bring sanji back at first but one look at him after noticing zoro had been listening in to the group's conversation abt what happened to sanji and luffy immediately pointed out that he bet zoro was actually worried abt him.
on different occasions, zoro's straightforward or too-rational approach mixed up with his lack of tact tends to understandably annoy other characters but if there's someone who knows how much zoro genuinely cares for his crew (and others sometimes) regardless of what he says, luffy's definitely right there. it's been that way since they interacted for the first time and is why the riceballs incident was so significant to luffy back then. it's such a compelling aspect of their relationship, as usual
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anyway just look at them!!!! they're so cute!!!!!
also, zoro going from -> unwillingly flung around arlong park by luffy -> stoically letting luffy manhandle him around in dressrosa -> actively asking luffy to bring him along and hanging onto him of his own volition? character development
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and to finish this post, my condolences to law 🙏🏼 knowing those two are on the loose without any sane supervision around must be a nightmare (zoro himself is already on wano's shit list after cutting down that magistrate) and worse if they're together
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shintin · 1 year
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The Hickey on Your Neck
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↳ Vash the Stampede x Female Reader
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One-shot
Summary: Only seconds before closing your eyes do you realize that the dreams you had forgotten among the lust and thrust of your lover were the life you were destined to lead.
Or a story about how You and Vash fucked from dawn to dusk on his birthday.
Word count: +17.5 k.
Genre: explicit smut, romance, angst (Trigun au).
Warnings/Tags: +18, NSFW, established relationship, soft/dom Vash the Stampede, too much fluff and kissing, scar worship, plant patterns display, manhandling, cunnilingus + fellatio, creampie,  fingering (with prosthetic arm), unprotected sex (c’mon! We want his seeds), multiple orgasms, hair pulling, two smut scenes (one romantic, other hardcore), aftercare, emotional trauma, violence, blood and gore, post-Trigun Stampede but no manga spoilers.
Notes: I'd never written a Trigun fic before, but with this Vash brain rot, I'm sure it won't be the last. I originally intended to name this fic "Sleepless Nightmare" after TOMBI song, but somehow changed my mind. You'll see why. "Elay" in my mother tongue means the Moon of a Tribe. A nick name Vash will use for reader.
By the way, you can also read the Disclaimers and Writer's Note at the end.
Song Recommendation: The Hickey on Your Neck Playlist
You can read my fics on AO3 and Wattpad. If you have any questions, don’t be shy and ASK. This is my DISCORD account, in case you want to contact me.
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07:30 pm – July 21st
A hole had been left in your heart. Throwing yourself backward, you tripped over your feet. Your head slammed into the floor as your arms did little to break your fall. It was a pain you'd never known, a pain you never thought you could feel, never would have even imagined. From the inside out, you were lit on fire by a bullet that went off in your chest.
All of a sudden, everything slowed down.
So this, you thought, was what dying felt like.
You blinked, and it seemed to take forever. The images before you were unfocused, with colors, bodies, and lights swaying in unison and stilted movements blurring. Your ears couldn't hear clearly. All the sounds were garbled, warped, and too high or low.
Who … she?
I asked for a tall, blond man with … eyes, and the folks pointed at her.
How come … shot her …?
She said … had never met such a man.
… idiot! What if she's with the gunman?
Whatever. … doesn't draw a gun anymore; rumor has it.
What a moron! The man may not kill, but … wiped out … whole city!
What … … we should … then?
If … … his girl, … … screwed up!
… the bounty! … get lost before the news …!
It was like all the words were banging into each other, colliding again, spinning around you. Your name seemed to be being called, but you couldn't hear it. Everything was muffled, slippery, and off-balance, like it was there, just out of reach, but you couldn't find it.
Heavy footsteps stomped, stomped, and stomped the ground, and a familiar face appeared before you. The shape, the golden and green colors drew your attention, and you tried raising your hand to feel his warmth once more and assure him that everything was okay, but it was too hard, and suddenly you couldn't breathe. Your throat felt like it was being slashed, holes punching into your lungs, and the more you blinked, the less clearly you could see. The tightest breaths, tiny little gasps, were soon all you could manage. Pain, pain, and more pain followed the dizziness and lightheaded feeling. It was terrible, never seeming to end.
Your sight suddenly went dim. Blindness overtook you.
Blood dripped from you rather than being seen as you blinked, blinked, and blinked in a desperate attempt to regain your vision, but all you saw was a cloud of white. A short frantic gasp and the pounding of your eardrums were all heard. Some warm sensation spread throughout your body as the fresh blood pooled under you.
You knew your life was about to evaporate, and it only made you think about how short you lived with him and how he would blame himself for your loss. Leaving your tears to fall, you whispered, "I-I'm sorry, Vash."
05:45 am - July 21st
A sharp intake of breath caused your eyes to fly open. Your skin froze in a cold sweat as your brain waded in waves of distress. Inhaling as much as possible was the only thing you could do. Your chest heaved, and your heart raced. You looked around, feeling the stillness within the madness, blinking hard against the white ceiling.
Your hands reached your throat and chest. No blood. No holes. You could feel your pulse. That must be the sound of your heart, at least, you hoped.
There was a strange feeling in your gut, like your instincts were stumbling through mud, and your bones were filled with stones. Your eyes shifted to the other side of the bed, and you sighed in relief. The reality sleeping next to you brought a moment of clarity. You sat up on your elbows, head spinning as you glanced at the nightstand.
The glass was empty.
You slowly pushed the sheets aside and felt more awake with your bare feet touching the cold floor. Picking up the glass, you tiptoed toward the murky kitchen.
You reached for the pitcher on the table, but the water never made it to your lips; instead, your trembling hands grabbed the faded and scratched edges of the cabinet as if letting go of this old piece of plywood would plunge you into the blackhole of your nightmare.
A muffled whimper escaped from the bottom of your throat, and you whispered, it was just a dream. Yet, your white knuckles became wet as tears streamed down your face, blurring the cracked tiles before you.
You shouldn't have cried. You should have been stronger. Not just for yourself, but...
Incoherent thoughts still occurred to you as you pressed your palm to your lips—a fruitless attempt to stop any further crying from coming out.
It was just a dream. Everything was fine.
Your glistening eyes were fixed on the glass of water as you took a sip and pushed the venom-like lump down your throat. Nobody was going to lose anyone. This fear was deeply buried under the sands of your heart. Why did it have to appear today of all days?
A chill ran down your esophagus. Your hand shook involuntarily, and a few drops of water slid from the corner of your mouth to your chin and neck and then ran to your perked nipples.
Looking down at your body, you wiped the drops away before feeling cold. After all, this planet didn't earn its name, "Noman's Land" for nothing. The weather could get pretty chilly and cruel in this desert when those two suns weren't out. Moreover, let's not forget how many people were denied heat due to a lack of resources. Ugh! So, it's not like you didn't know you should've worn something, but God damn it! You woke up feeling a great deal of fear. Fuck! Still, you weren't eager to catch a cold. At least, not today. As you were about to return to bed, you suddenly stopped. Random images filled your mind.
Tears staining emerald green eyes, red flowers blooming on blood, and heart-wrenching screams fading in the night, all in an empty room filled with balloons and mud.
The next gulp of water tasted salty, leaving you feeling numb. Tears must have flowed down your cheeks. You lowered your glass and let your thoughts drift away.
There was a flash of your limp body in your mind, accompanied by a sharp twinge in your gut, a screaming sensation in your body, as if your lungs craved for air.
You wicked away the images, expunging thoughts of pain and death from your mind. The churning in your stomach began to slow, but your skin took on a damp, clammy sensation in its wake. You struggled to recount the things you had eaten last night. It must be it. No doubt, you had eaten poorly.
It was just a dream. What the hell was wrong with you? Crying over a dream? What were you, five? No, not today! Not today! Not today! Get your shits together!
After a moment of hesitation, you rubbed your eyes with the back of your hand, ran your palm across your forehead and nose, and stopped it on your mouth before glancing at the bed.
Your pale face bloomed with a faint smile as you saw the sight—a miracle in this barren wilderness.
The curtains of the half-open window fluttered lazily with the morning breeze, letting the suns' rays play upon his scarred shoulder blades now and then, and run their greedy fingers through the golden waves of his hair, an enraged sea of sunflowers bounded by rough rocky beaches on the side. Oh! His undercut was glorious from where you watched.
He was sleeping with his eyelids slowly moving. The corners of his lips were curved upwards. Today seemed to be one of those rare days when he was free of the burdens of his past. Was he dreaming? What was his dream about? Love? Peace? Foods? Probably sweets!
You tried to avoid the woods squeaking beneath your feet as you walked back. Putting the glass of water next to the orange-tinted shades, you slowly climbed back under the warm sheets without shifting the mattress too much.
Once your head touched the pillow, cinnamon, and caramel again filled your nostrils. The man ate so many donuts that you feared he would become one. When you pictured it, your smile reached your eyes, and you giggled silently.
Like on the days you woke up early, you rolled over to face him and let your eyes roam over his abs muscles and those beautiful V lines guiding you to his secret paradise. Other than the massive gash across his chest, he had several cuts on his arms, wounds on his shoulders, and scars all over his back and legs. This man was a walking history, marked with painful memories, and luckily, your lips had perfectly mastered the story behind every blemish, slit, and stitch on his body.
It wasn't that simple, though.
When you first met him, he was a broken man covered in an old cloak, his eyes filled with agony. He was consumed by remorse, but nonetheless, he was still full of life and willing to try and glue back all his broken parts. Indeed, it was a challenge for him, and somehow, it didn't come easy to you either. Your heart ached when you removed each piece of clothing from his body. You cursed those who hurt him. It took you time and love to learn how to cherish those wounds instead of looking at them with pity. And little by little, your eyes learned to see a delicate kind of beauty in them, as if, every once in a while, you could see the sunlight shining through the cracks of his heart, lighting up your world in a most wonderful way.
Perhaps that's why after years of running, running, and running, he stopped for once and decided to rest. Something about you must have felt like home. And how lucky you were to have this?
06:30 am - July 21st
You couldn't look away from him, your mind unable to comprehend the perfection of this happiness. He was so ethereal you could hardly fathom that he was yours, wanted and loved you. You couldn't even hear yourself think over the rush of blood in your ears. The sight of him sleeping beside you, relaxed and vulnerable, was causing wild, desperate thoughts to race through your head. God! The fantasies you'd had about him. The places your mind had gone.
You sighed and brushed your face to the pillow, hoping he would roll over to you in his sleep so you could get back into his arms and the legs draped around you. Your eyelids peered at the glistening prosthetic arm in the soft light of the down. Could he feel your warmth whenever you kissed those fingers? How come you had never asked? There were many things you hadn't asked him yet.
Maybe you should start tomorrow? Hm? It's not like the world was ending today.
"You're going to come back over here, or you want to leave me cold and lonely?" he murmured, the raggedness in his voice confirming that he had been sleeping. Your gaze shifted upwards to meet his eyes, only to realize they were still shut, but his lips were painted with a playful grin.
Something inside you melted. It moved by his words, his smile, and his voice.
"I thought you were asleep." You scooted closer, and he wrapped his arms around you, cautious not to accidentally hurt you when he slipped his left arm beneath your neck. "I didn't want to wake you up." Your forehead pressed against his chest, and you felt the coldness of the iron mesh against your skin. His chin rested on your head, and his toes caressed your legs. The prickles of scars and fine hairs of his limbs tickled yours, and you felt blessed.
Funny how your nightmare faded the moment you felt his warmth like he burned a hole right through your head and pulled all your thoughts out. Well, other than that, it seemed like this morning, everything about him was exactly what you needed. His voice was calm and caring, his arms protective, and his presence comforting. You didn't want him to let go of you.
"Even if you had woken me up," he said, his artificial fingers sinking into your hair, and he continued, "I wouldn't have minded." A light kiss on the crown of your head followed his honest words. Even though this man kissed you every day and night, you could feel a silent giggle seeping into your body, causing your face to blush bright red.
Vash yawned soundlessly as he pulled you closer, his eyes still closed. The two of you were so close, too close, but never close enough for him. You had come to realize that your body heat did more for him than any blanket could. It was always in his eyes, aching with a desperate yearning he could only meet with you and your touch.
A joyful happiness settled between you as his hands drew shapes and patterns alongside your spine like those bright ones sometimes you could see on his body. Your lips curved into a smile as you watched him. His hair thick and blonde. The lines of his body sharp and robust. Damn! He had everything about him beautifully crafted. His nose. His chin. His ears and eyebrows. The eyelashes any girl would kill for and those turquoise-green eyes you longed to see. He had a gorgeous mouth.
You lingered too long there, your eyes betraying your mind.
Vash smiled. "What are you doing?" He fiddled with your hair, wrapping a lock around his finger.
In response, you sighed. Clearly, you would never discover how to avoid getting caught red-handed every time. "Just enjoying the view," you said, still staring at his mouth. You reached and touched two fingers to his bottom lip only to feel a rush of memories.
Long nights. Early morning. His mouth on you. Everywhere. Over and over again.
07:15 am - July 21st
He laughed sheepishly at your response.
You brushed a strand of hair off his forehead. His hair had grown a little long. You stroked his cheeks and drew his head back toward you, pressing your lush mouth against his. It never took him long to part his lips. He kissed you back, holding your head steady with his prosthetic arm while his other embraced you tightly. You could feel him smiling against your lips.
He had your heart, and you loved him quite horribly, too. This fact always smacked you over the head so hard you felt dizzy. You should have been afraid and wanted to hide it, as he was the most wanted man on the planet, but love had made you bold and brave.
You pulled back and studied his kiss-inspiring lips. Your whole body was filled with a warmth you wanted to share with him because it was pure, and so was he. There was no way for you to find the right words to describe how you felt.
The morning light was shining through the windows at the perfect angle and time. His muscles were taut, bathed in gold.
"Can you lie back, Vash?" you asked, pushing his shoulder back toward the bed. Finally fluttering his eyes open, he lifted his head in your direction.
Oh.
God.
His eyes.
He blinked dark lashes, revealing a spectrum of sadness and beauty, unlike anything you'd seen before. The way a person could convey so much with a glance caught you off guard. He had an extraordinary amount of pain paired with even more extraordinary passion.
His face spread into a wide smile the moment he saw you. These smiles, they changed him, and moments like this killed you a little.
He had the kind of face that made you forget where you were, who you were, and what you might say or do. You held his face in your hands as you laid his head down on the pillow. A half-lidded gaze sat on his face as he leaned to your touch, and you kissed him. Slowly, this time. His eyes fell closed. His mouth responded to yours.
Your fingers moved to his neck, then to his hair, and your mouth followed them. Soft lips caressed his earlobes and nipped the tiny single hoop, hot breaths hitting his skin, surprising a giggle out of him.
His hands reached up to pull you closer, but you stopped him. "No," you whispered. "Don't move." Without a second thought, he dropped his hands.
"Lie back and keep your eyes closed," you muttered, and strangely, he didn't object. His obedience led to you kissing him everywhere. His cheeks. His eyelids. His chin. The tip of his nose and the space between his eyebrows. All across his forehead and along his jawline. Every inch of his face. Soft, small kisses that said more than you ever could. You wanted him to know how you felt. You wanted him to feel it in the way only he could, the way he could sense the depth of your emotions. You wanted him to know and never forget.
And you wanted to take your time.
As your mouth moved down his neck, he gasped. You peeked up at his features only to meet a crooked grin on his face. The moment was worth savoring. It seemed like Mr. Vash was enjoying himself, so your tongue continued to adore his arm's sculpted hills and valleys, the perfect shape of his torso.
You breathed in the scent of his skin and took in the taste of him as your hands ran down his abs, kissing your way across and down the line of his torso. You kissed around his navel, and the trails of fine hair underneath caressed your lips. He kept reaching for you, trying to touch you until you told him to stop.
"Please," he said, taking a deep breath. "I want to feel—"
Even though he couldn't see you, you raised your brows with a head tilt and gentled back his arms. "Not yet. Not now."
He let out a breath in protest and crossed his arms behind his neck until your hands went further down and his eyes flew open. Blinking at him, you found out you were still fascinated by his eyes—such a stunning shade of green. "Close your eyes, Vash," you had to tell him.
A big gulp of air filled up his Adam apple. "No." He hardly spoke.
"Close your eyes!"
With his sharp gaze following your every move, he shook his head and leaned on his elbows.
"Fine." You rolled your eyes, and your hand grabbed the base of his hardness.
As soon as your nails brushed the skin of his length, he sat up and stared at you. He was breathing so fast you could hear and see his chest moving.
With a smile, you looked him in the eyes and leaned your head down. Your mouth took in the tip, and your tongue traced circles as Vash gasped. The sight of your bent head made him bite his lip. No doubt every fiber of his being demanded you to take him fully in your mouth, but he wanted you to call the shots. Allowing you to control the pace pushed him to the edge. He enjoyed the thrill of knowing he was at your mercy.
Soft hairs of his thighs against your ears, your nose skimmed his sensitive areas, and your lips kissed all over those favorite parts. The smooth skin of your fingers rolled around was warm and delicate, so fragile you were afraid you might tear it with your teeth. You felt his hardness throb against your cheek, pleading with you not to neglect him. Your thumb rubbed the pre-cum off the pink tip as you raised your head.
You looked up at him, his hair gleaming like golden flames, his cheeks drenched with sweat, and his lower lip stuck between his teeth, and you realized that his eyes looked at you with a look of something like trepidation, as if he was nervous. His face was still flushed red, and he had an expression somewhere between unworthiness and pleasure. With every stroke, his breath grew heavier. Obviously, he wanted more but was trying to contain his desire. Did he feel he was getting something he didn't deserve again?
There was no way you could let him be alone with these thoughts. So, before his dazzled eyes, you licked your thumb and watched how blood drained from his head and rushed straight to his torso. In surrender, he fell back; his eyes squeezed shut. You closed your mouth to half his length, and he turned his face to the pillow, stifling a moan. A tremor ran through his body, and his hands gripped the sheets tightly. Your hands ran down his legs, grabbing them just above his knees and inching them apart so you could trail kisses down the insides of his thighs.
He looked like he was in so much pain. So much pain.
You licked the pain away.
Twirling your fingers around the length, you took the crown in your mouth. Only enough to tease. Too little to satisfy. Your lips gently pressed against it, and when Vash was ready to scream, you accepted his whole length in your mouth.
Your lips were sealed tight as you hummed and increased the speed of your ministration. He threaded his fingers through your hair and molded his hands into your head, not to push you further down but to tilt your face up.
His forehead and neck were dripping sweat. The lines of emotion on his face were so deep you wondered how you must look to him. His throat bobbed, and you felt yourself drown in his eyes, enigmatic yet expressive, like sea foam, tempestuous but very calm. His fingers trailed over your salivate-covered lips, and you noticed that the sadness in his eyes had receded.
The world was suddenly brighter, bigger, and more beautiful.
07:40 am - July 21st
Taking hold of you by the arm pits, Vash pulled you in until your chest touched his. Next, you were rolled over so that your back touched the mattress, and he crawled onto you. Now his arms were propped up on either side of your head so he would not crush you under his weight. Looking into his eyes, you were pinned in place. His urgency ignited your bones. The polished planes of his face glowed with rivulets of sweat. His hardness was poking desperately against your thigh.
"I want to … …, …," he whispered. Intoxicated, you couldn't digest anything except his body hovering over you.
"… ?" His body pressed closer, and you realized you were paying attention to nothing but the dandelions blowing wishes in your lungs.
His eyes were heavy now in a way that worried you, but his gaze was still so tender, focused, and full of emotions you could hardly bring yourself to say anything. As your words faded, they became an unspoken whisper. Your lips glued together.
Screams.
Death.
Screams.
Your heart suddenly raced. What if these moments were destined to expire?
The sound of a clock striking midnight. A pumpkin carriage. The possibility of losing him.
You didn't want your arms to be deprived of his warmth. His touch. His lips, God, his lips, his mouth on your neck, his body wrapped around yours. The nightmare had caused this all, you knew, but the realization was like a pendulum the size of the moon. It wouldn't stop slamming into you.
Blinking fast, you swallowed back the fear building in your throat. God! He was speaking with you, but you couldn't hear him.
You were worried, really worried something was going to happen to him. What if bounty hunters found him? Could his brother hurt him? No. No. No. Even though you were only a human, you would never allow such a thing to happen. You just couldn't. You...
"Hey," he said, his voice soft, so soft. His arms were stronger than all the bones in your body. He pulled your figure close. You heard the beats of his heart humming deeply within his chest, and the steel of his arm encircled your whole body, releasing tension from your limbs. The icicles in your body were melted by his heat. Something about this frame made you want to freeze it forever. "You okay, Firefly? Wanna stop?"
The words he said sent waves of emotion coursing through you. He could read you like an open palm. You weren't lost before you met him, but you were never found until he laid eyes on you. Your tears stung as they fell backward down your throat, burning as they went. "Kiss me, Vash," you said before closing your eyes.
He searched your face, unsure what to do, hesitating, until you felt his lips on your shoulder, tender and scorching, so gentle you could almost believe it was the kiss of breeze and not a man.
Again.
This time, it was on your collarbones and felt like an ache that needed to be soothed. You didn't want to do anything to stop his mouth from touching your body.
He pulled back.
Desire.
Crave.
Need.
Again.
Your eyes refused to open.
His finger grazed the corner of your mouth, tracing its shape, the curves, the seams, and the dips. You felt him so much closer, his body heat filling the air around you, along with his smell and something sweet, until nothing was left. Your senses were so engulfed in his scent you didn't even realize your back was arching toward him as you breathed him in until you found out his fingers were no longer on your lips because his hand had gotten around your body.
"So, where do you want me to kiss you?" Vash whispered, his chest heaving, his words almost gasping. A wave of blistering heat moved through you, sealed shut your mouth. You didn't specify precisely where you wanted him to kiss you, and he didn't seem to have any difficulty selecting the spot. 
He whispered your name as he kissed the corner of your eyebrow. "Here?" His lips brushed over the shell of your ear, and your body squirmed slightly. "Or here?" He pressed a kiss against your neck, right beneath your ear, and you tipped your head to let him in, biting down the urge to beg him to take more, to take faster, as he murmured, "tell me."
Clasping your warm fingers with his cold metallic ones, he hovered over you to kiss your throat. You were the oxygen he desperately needed to breathe. His body was almost on top of yours, one hand in your hair while the other held yours delicately yet firmly. His lips crushed yours in no time.
A kiss like this was like swimming in honey rivers, like being dipped in gold, like diving into an ocean of bliss and not realizing you were drowning because you were too caught up in the current to notice. Nothing mattered anymore—neither your nightmare, this room, or the whole fucking planet.
All that mattered was this.
This.
This moment. These lips. This strong body pressed against yours, and these firm hands that always found a way you bring you closer. Oh, My Gosh! You wanted so much more of him. You wanted all of him.
Your eyes opened up.
Not content to be passive, your hands ran down his back, dancing over his broad shoulders, pressing into his dimples, and squeezing his hips.
Your hand grabbed a fistful of his hair when he broke for air with a groan, but you pushed him back, kissing his neck, arm, collarbones, and chest. It was amazing. Being with him, touching him, holding him like this. The rush of adrenaline was so intense and euphoric that you felt invincible.
He muttered your name, his lips mouthing the letters, barely speaking. Your skin was scorched everywhere he hadn't touched you.
He kissed your top lip.
He licked your bottom lip.
He kissed just under your chin, the tip of your nose, the length of your forehead, both temples and cheeks across your jawline. Then your neck, behind your ears, the space between your breasts. He nibbled your nipples and left trails of kisses all the way down your belly button until his entire form moved down your figure, disappearing as he shifted downward, and suddenly his chest was hovering above your hips.
Grasping your calves, he spread your legs apart just enough for his head to fit between. Your thighs were lifted, and you couldn't see him anymore. His only visible features were the top of his head, the curve of his shoulders, and the unsteady rise and fall of his back as he breathed. Eventually, even that sight was lost, with your head falling backward and muffled moans leaving your mouth.
Vash ran his hands down and up around your bare upper thighs and ribs, and he held your hips to make you stand still. Your eyes lit up like small firecrackers every time his hair teased your groins until his lips kissed you there, and fireworks exploded in the back of your head.
As his right hand pressed against your stomach, his tongue played around to make you scream aloud. His mouth brushed against your skin in places you couldn't see but felt deeply. Oh my! You were out of your body, touching stars, when you realized he was working his way up your body, leaving two fingers of that prosthetic arm behind.
"It might feel a bit cold," he said as his nose glided the skin of your stomach, leaving random kisses around your breasts and collarbones just to ease your tension. "Tell me if it hurts, okay?" His hair was a mess, the wetness on his lips all familiar.
A nod came from you in response. He almost seemed to be smiling as his fingers slipped inside your slit, and your nails dug into the fabric. Moaning, you felt his warm hand brushing your hair backward as the other moved up and down inside your walls.
Your mouth was parted in a silent moan, and his small pecks covered you all around. There were tears in your eyes, baby hairs sticking to your sweaty forehead.
As his thumb and two fingers hit all the right spots, your throat wailed in frustration.
You grabbed his free arm, and he pulled himself up, onto you, on top of you. As if reading your thoughts, he kissed you hard. How strange, yet sweet, all you could taste was you, yourself, on his tongue. You moaned at the taste, and he opened his mouth more for you, allowing you to brush your tongue against his teeth.
The stinging coldness of his fingers was long gone. You had forgotten everything. There was something you shouldn't have forgotten, but you couldn't even remember why, what you were forgetting. Amid his length caressing your side and those digits thrusting backward and forward, paying attention to anything else was hard.
You could die from this, you decided. From wanting him, from the pleasure of being with him.
You must be smiling because he was looking at you and smiling too. His forehead was pressed against yours. His skin was flushed with heat. His hand had kept your head still. Your hands gripped his nick, sliding into the hollow behind it. You placed your palms just above his nape, and your fingertips gently began to squeeze and massage his undercut.
"Va-sh."
For a moment, you thought life poured out of you, or maybe your vision fractured as release barreled into you, and you grasped his name over and over again till your body calmed under his weight.
08:10 am- July 21st
Your eyes landed on his glistening wet metallic fingers, and you were dripping, burning, melting with anticipation. He was still on top of you when you thought you heard him speak, his mouth close to your ear.
"I love you," he whispered and kissed your brow. It never occurred to you that he could be like this, so human, so real, but it was there. It was right there. Raw, written across his face. You were about to mutter all the words and worries you held in your chest, but suddenly he stood up and stared blankly at the other side of the room.
You followed his gaze to the pane of glass separating you from the reality outside. You awaited his lips to part. You waited to listen to him speak. His eyes weren't revealing anything about what he was thinking, what was going on.
Something about the realization struck fear into your heart. In the span of a single instant, darkness surrounded your vision. Images appeared in the blur of your sight again.
The petals of red Geraniums floating in the sky, a boy running through blood-stained sands, the time speeding up and slowing down in fits and starts, streaks of green and red staining your dilated eyes, stars exploding, lights flashing, sparking, and then it's all darkness and Vash's screams.
You shook your head.
The images disappeared, but the heartaches and fears lingered, and you had to keep reminding yourself to breathe. Your lungs begged for air, but you looked around for Vash instead.
It seemed he wanted to scream, but you knew the words wouldn't leave his mouth. Those thoughts would expand in his head, explosive and angry, pressing against the ridges of his mind, and then he would hide them behind a smile. As he always did.
"Vash?" you called, just before witnessing how a car's radio sound from the street ripped open his past, pulled out what was left of his heart, and dropped it on the floor.
"… been two years since that fateful July 21st. A crowd has gathered at what used to be the third city of July to pay their respects. Even after two years, the pain of losing their loved ones has yet to heal. The suspect said to have murdered 90 percent of the city, also known as the Humanoid Typhoon, still remains at large. Vash the Stampede is on the run. If I were the demon who turned the whole city into a gaping crater overnight, I'd hide my face too. There is no forgetting the sorrow of loved ones taken from us. The Alliance of Cities has raised the dead or alive bounty on Vash the Stampede to $$60 billion, the highest in the history of…"
The loud words bounced around in the haze of your head, fogging your senses, misting your eyes, and clouding your concentration. In your bones, there was just ice. Your entire being wanted to vomit. Reality slapped you in the face, punched you in the jaw, and dumped you into sand oceans. You grasped the nightstand to keep yourself steady. The orange shades fell on the floor, leaving a big crack on display.
Vash was shaking his head over and over and over and over. He was looking at his hands like he would see some blood on them, as if waiting for the part where someone would tell him this wasn't real and he didn't actually kill those 200,000 innocent people.
Oh, my beloved.
The pain was so plain on his face; it was killing you. Your gaze was drawn to the balled fists at his sides, the furrows in his brow, and the tension in his jaw. Minutes ago, this man was free, but now he was a prisoner of his own crime. In your heart, you wished you could release him from the claws of self-reproach.
Having seen his terror too often, you knew it well.
Sometimes, even when he was asleep, his tormented mind would grip his heart, and such emptiness and sadness would fill him that you felt he was suffocating, as if his sleepless nightmares never had an end.
You didn't know him before,
but
you
thought
he
had
lost
a
bit
of
himself
on
the
day
of
July
incident.
As time passed, you assumed he had finally learned not to dwell on what had happened. You imagined he avoided it like a cripple learning not to put weight on his injured leg.
However, deep down, you knew he was living on eggshells, always wondering when something would break, when everything would crumble. You always dreaded this day. This silence. It was not just an ordinary silence caused by the lack of things that moved or made noise, but a deep and tired silence that sometimes covered him like an invisible cloak—like the one ruling between your shared walls right now.
Stacks of sorrow had grown inside him, settling on his bones and snapping him in half. A cable twisted around his neck, a worm crawling across his stomach. It was the night, midnight, and the twilight of indecision. Too many pains to bear.
How naive of him to think he could slip into the role of a regular being and live a normal life in love and peace.
Vash.
Vash the stampede with a dream.
The mere thought of it filled him with mortification. He began to think others were right when they said things like him were better off destroyed.
Shaking his head, he coughed against the torture in his lungs, heaving strange, horrible gasps until his whole body spasmed into submission, leaving him sitting on the bed's edge like a sack full of nothingness. The old gunman looked as if he might collapse, barely breathing, his life-force being torn asunder.
You felt like your throat was closing up. You knew the infamous humanoid typhoon was everything broken and glued back together, and now knives bore holes into his cracked bones, filled with grief that could take his breath away.
Your face was drained of color, your ears ringing with your heart pounding. His desperate screams from your nightmare echoed in your head as if on repeat. His agony was acute. His terror palpable. Tears sprung to your eyes. It was painful to look at him, being so close and far away from him.
"Local news. You know how dumb they are," you said, trying to hide your petrified and nerve-wracking thoughts from his reach. What if he never experienced peace? What if there was no sanctuary, and the pain was always a whisper away, no matter where he went?
Pressing your nails to your palm, you continued, "None of that incident was your fault. You know that too. You hear me?"
His eyes widened a little. No one had ever cared about him for this long. No one had kept him ever this closely to read his thoughts word by word. No one had ever treated him like a human being. Then again, he thought you didn't know about all of his sins. In a century and a half, he hadn't been able to forgive himself; how could you? It made him wonder how long you could endure him before running for your life.
His head was spinning, thoughts knocking into one another. He clenched his fists and pushed back down the misery that had stuck with him. Even though he didn't want this, you'd probably be better off without him.
"Vash?" You swallowed and dug your fingers into the sheets desperately, a tear trickling down your cheek. It kept hitting you in the face, in the skull, in the spine, this knowledge of just how much you loved him.
His lips looked like they were barely able to form words. He could only take these harsh gasps and wonder why his body hadn't given up.
On all fours, you approached him and sat on your knees on the edge of the bed with a slight distance between you and him. You knew he wouldn't object, but you didn't want to intrude on his privacy. Thus, you remained silent so that he wouldn't be left by himself, and he would know you wouldn't leave him alone.
09:15 am – July 21st
Time passed, and you checked on him occasionally to see if he wanted to talk until he raised his head slightly.
"I'm a demon," he said the sentence so quietly. So, so quietly. He ran a hand across his face, both hands through his hair, looking like he wanted to scream, to break something, like he was truly about to lose his mind. "The world sees me as a threat. An unfixable monster. An abomination. They want me dead." His voice sounded sorrowful, almost like he had already accepted these labels.
Thousand pieces of feeling stabbed you in the heart. "I don't think you're a demon. Also, I don't think you're some sick, twisted monster. I don't think you're a heartless killer, and I don't think you deserve to die. You're not a humanoid typhoon. No, you're not any of the things people have said about you," you told him, words tripping and stumbling out of you.
His mouth fell closed, struggling with some kind of emotion, struggling to find composure. Suddenly he gasped. "No." One broken word. Barely even a sound. He was shaking his head, looking away from you. He turned to face the window. "No. No, no—"
"Vash—"
"No," he said. His voice was so soft and so scared you could scarcely hear it. "No, you don't know what you're saying—"
"You're not a monster!" you said. "And I love you exactly as you are. I don't even want you to fix yourself; I don't think you need to be fixed. People here love you as you are. Your name is the only thing that scares them," you told him.
You knew people had the right to fear him. You knew. Humanoid Typhoon certainly wasn't made of sugar, spice, and everything nice, but rather from hurricanes, lightning, and all things that scared. Seeing dusty storms and raging winds, people thought he was scary. They feared he would harm them. In truth, he was only his own disaster, destroying himself for others. He was Vash. Your Vash. Vash the Stampede, and you loved him with all his fears and frights, dreams and nightmares, sins and scars.
You smiled and continued, "If they learn your name and start hunting you, we'll run away! We'll run, run, and keep running as far as we have to! And when things calm down, we'll settle by their side again. You won't kill. You'll never kill anyone again, and one day, people will begin seeing you as I do."
Maybe tears filled his eyes. Possibly his breath was trapped in his chest. Perhaps his heart warmed a little. No one knew, not even the author. He had his head down, his chest rising and falling.
You sat behind him. A map of pain had covered his entire back. Thick, thin, uneven, and terrible, scars like roads leading nowhere. There were bolts and ragged slices, marks of torture he was not protected from.
Kindness must be difficult when all you'd received was hatred. Being able to see goodness in the world must be so hard when your only experience had been terror. You wanted to say something to him. Something profound, complete, and memorable, but there was nothing suitable. This planet was a broken bone that didn't set right, and Vash wanted to glue it back together. Alone, all by himself.
You two differed in this respect. Fearless and unafraid were two different things. He was fearless. He dared to outshine the sun, stare down a bullet, kiss death and walk away with his back unguarded. He would hold the whole world in his palms despite its bone-crushing weight, despite its sharp edges crusted with blood, if only he could stop it from falling apart. But you? You were fearful. Sometimes you couldn't breathe around the clot of fear lodged in your throat. The only way to lessen its weight on your tongue was to scream until no words came out, while the only way to chase away its shadows was never to close your eyes at night. You were unafraid of one thing, though —he could tear down the world and bury you alive under the weight of his guilt, yet you would follow him without hesitation.
Your eyes rested upon woven strands of sunlight, alighting softly upon his scarred skin. These honeyed arcing rays gave him a light glimmer that revealed his plant patterns, pulsing slowly and dimly. Something about the scene was so divine, and you felt the dawn rise from your heart every morning and reach the sky.
You hugged him from behind by bridging the gap between your bodies and leaned your cheek against his sun-kissed back. Your hands gently caressed his stomach and chest as your lips left kisses on his love reminiscences—one by one.
You could hear him breathing in and out. Unevenly. Yet he was silent. Hands clenched, knuckles white. Of course, he wanted you with a desperate need he had never known. But his regret, sins, and crimes were so overwhelming they consumed him. He thought, how could you be so kind to a thing like him?
Unaware of the voices in his mind, you dropped a kiss on his spine. You kissed the curve of his shoulder. His shoulder blades. Five kisses down his spine, each softer than the other one. For every little moment of pain he had ever felt in his life, you wanted to make it all go away. You kissed his neck, trying to ignore the tension in his muscles, the ache spreading inside you, urging you to end his suffering.
Your words were heavy with sincerity when you said, "I don't care what everyone else thinks about you." You leaned your forehead to his shoulder, your breaths gently caressing his back. "Because you're the only good thing left in this world."
As his eyes widened, he breathed heavily, trying to gain control of himself. "What are you saying?" he asked, his hand caught in his hair. "How can you tell such a thing this after all this?" His hand pointed to the window, to the news on the radio.
Standing on your knees, you kissed the hand caught between his gold locks. The same hand he always tried to cover its scar with a glove. Because the idiot thought his scars would be repulsive. The idiot. Your favorite idiot.
You didn't sit back. Keeping your head there, your nose buried in his hair, and your chest pressed to his back—this smell. You had never seen a sea, but you had heard about them. And you believed if there was ever to be a sea in this hell hole, he would smell like a sunny beach. Sweet, enveloping, and warm.
"That is—" your voice broke when you spoke. "That's what the family is for, Vash."
A sudden searing heat flashed behind his eyes, and his heart leaped at your response. He dropped his hand on his knee and sat still in place by the weight of your words. His hand trembled, and his eyes were willing and wanting but filled with both sadness and happiness.
A family.
All this time, he thought you were with him all along because you didn't have a grasp on his sins, but now, he could see that you already knew everything. And despite all of this, you were still willing to forgive him and give him something he always wanted but never had without even requiring him to earn it or redeem himself.
You touched his arm and traced the tender skin with your fingertips. Scars everywhere. You kissed the back of his elbow. "I'm sorry for everything humans have done to you," you told him, and he took a shallow breath. "Forgive us." Another kiss. "Forgive me."
A delicate warmth filled Vash's heart and melted it into drops of warm honey that soothed the scars in his soul. He turned his head and stared at you with open, vulnerable eyes, a tight jaw, and tensed muscles. No one had ever apologized to him. According to his experience, he was usually the monster, the wicked one. The onus always was on him to make amends.
It stunned him how strange it felt. Up until now, he never thought he deserved forgiveness, let alone someone asking for it.
Running a tired hand across his face, he wasn't sure what to do with himself. A joy filled his heart, causing him to feel heavy with something he wasn't even sure he could describe.
Gratitude, perhaps.
The ache in his chest had grown more assertive, more painful. But for now, he didn't want to think about it. He simply just wanted to enjoy your proximity.
Your hand reached up to stroke the luminous curved shapes on his cheek, tracing them to the softness of the mole beneath his left eye. The look in those aquamarines breaking your heart. You couldn't bear to see his face covered in sorrow and guilt.
"You're a good man, my Vash," you said, your words soft, your hand gentle as you tilted his chin up toward your mouth. He was blinking fast, yet not denying. You whispered words on his lips that no one had ever spelled out for him. "Rem would've been proud of you," you told him, watching the movement in his throat and his effort to keep it together. It didn't take you long to kiss him once, tenderly.
He found himself at a loss for words, opting to convey his emotions through touch instead as he melded his lips with yours. He sighed into your mouth, and you kissed him even more deeply, almost desperately, as if trying to pass over your breaths to him. You could taste the salt on your tongue. The wet drops falling on your cheeks made your flesh burn. You were uncertain whose they were as you continued to try and cling to him.
10:00 am – July 21st
The sheets slowly slipped and fell to the floor as Vash pulled you into his arms, clutching you tight, hardly able to breathe. When he exhaled and looked at you again, there were stories in his eyes, thoughts, whispers, and feelings of things you had never seen before. His whole body seemed to be relaxed in relief. He looked like he was hanging on his sanity by a single, fraying thread. You.
And you promised yourself, at this moment, that you would hold him forever, just like this, until all the pain, the torture, and the suffering was gone, until he'd given a chance to live the kind of life where no one could ever hurt him this deeply ever again.
He touched your cheek. Soft, as if he wasn't sure if you were real. His four fingers caressed the side of your face gently before they slipped behind your neck, caught in that in-between spot below your ear, and his thumb brushed the apple of your cheek, then grazing your bottom lip.
You did so much with these lips, you thought. Touched, kissed, and pressed them against tender parts of his skin. You made promises, and the words they formed, the shapes and sounds they curved around, all for him.
Vash moved closer by just an inch. His free metallic hand cupped the other side of your face. He was holding you like you were made of crystals. Holding you and looking at his own hands, he couldn't believe you were real.
Gone was the man with guns and bullets. These hands treasuring you had never held a weapon. They were perfect and kind, never touched by death. He took your hands and pressed your palms to his face. Tears must have welled up in your eyes when you closed them.
You whispered his name, and he breathed harder than you.
Could this be a dream?
You shook, shuddered, splintered into teardrops, and he held you like no one had before. He wanted you. Seeing him cling to you as he might never let go did something to you, something heady, knowing that he might wish you, or need you, like this, made you want to protect him even though he didn't need your protection.
Gently, he stroked your hair and pressed his lips to your forehead. Gradually, his arms became the arms around your waist; his lips became the lips pressed against yours, his body the warmth you felt.
You weren't even breathing, but you were alive, and he was kissing you. Deeply, desperately. The palms of his hands were rubbing the small of your back as he lifted you into his lap. Your legs automatically wrapped around his hips, allowing him to kiss your neck, throat, and nipples.
You broke apart with his small licks here and there, breathing hard, and stared at him like a bonehead, your brain still too numb to figure out exactly how you two got here.
Tilting his head to a side, he pressed his lips against yours again, seeking you with a burning need, a new kind of desperation. His hands were threaded in your hair, his lips so soft, so urgent against yours, like fire and cinnamon exploding in your mouth.
Vash nibbled your bottom lip in a flash and pulled back just a little bit. Your body was flooded with heat and desire so intense you could hardly think when he parted his lips from you to sigh in your mouth, and that slight sound of pleasure drove you crazy.
Putting one hand under your neck, placing his mouth on your breast, and running his fingers down your back, he pressed your body closer, only to find something hard pressing against your groin.
Oh.
Well.
While he avoided your gaze, he smiled sheepishly and tentatively touched your thighs with his hands. Because of what had happened, you knew he would probably feel embarrassed to ask for it, but that didn't mean you wouldn't give it to him. He deserved the whole world if you had the chance to provide for him. His markings were glowing softly when you squeezed him closer to yourself, holding him tighter.
Biting his lip and stifling his groan, his smart-ass hands slid up your legs and into your thighs. Soon, his lips reached your chest. Your body ached everywhere, tasting colors and sounds you didn't even know existed. His forehead was pressed against your chin, and your hands gripped his shoulders. He was hot, gentle, and somehow in a hurry.
You were beyond the reach of rational thoughts. Beyond words, beyond comprehension. The world was beyond understanding because nothing could ever compare with this. Nothing could ever capture the way you were feeling right now. Nothing mattered anymore. You were left with only this moment: his mouth on your body, his hands on your skin, and his lust deep in his eyes, making you absolutely insane.
Your wetness was no longer a secret when he surrounded you everywhere. As he watched you, you reached down and adjusted his length against your slippery entrance over a few strokes. His pulse could be felt in your palm and soon inside of you.
Using both soft and hard hands, he gently grasped your hips and pulled you down toward him. As he entered, you gasped, every time surprised at his size, clinging desperately to his neck as he hitched your legs around his waist, his prosthetic arm settling beneath your thigh. You loved the feeling of him stretching you. You loved having him this close to you. You loved the way he manhandled you. You loved his hand around your neck and the little squeeze of his fingers around your nape.
His grip tightened when he sensed you were ready for him, and he started moving you up and down. You cried out and leaned your cheek to his nose, dying and somehow being brought back to life in the same moment, in the same breath.
Fuck! You were full of him.
He lifted your thighs, and you bit back the moan stuck in your throat. His mouth wouldn't let go of your skin, kissing you with an intensity that made you wonder why you hadn't died, caught on fire, or woken up from this dream yet. Then he returned his hands to your face and kissed you once, twice.
The room's silence was filled with your heavy breathing, your chest against Vash's. Your pulses hammered against each other. You felt his arms around you become unbearably tight as he yanked you up and down with even more force than before, hitting you in a place he seemed to know too well.
As his teeth caught your bottom lip momentarily, you pushed your nails to his shoulder, running your fingers through his hair to pull him into your mouth. He tasted so sweet. So hot and sweet. You kept trying to say his name, but you couldn't even breathe, much less say a single word.
The pace increased slightly; each thrust was hard, deliberate, wringing gasps, whimpers, and long, rolling moans from you.
Your eyes tingled with tears, falling fast down, traveling quietly down your cheeks, and he cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs two parentheses in your mouth, against your tongue and saliva. As if he had found Adam's ale between million mirages of the desert, he stared at you, his eyes like fire in the water.
"I love you," he whispered over and over, his voice fragile, uneven. His lips covered yours in a tender kiss. He kissed you and tasted your tears, the lingering flavor of pleasure laced in your mouth. He kissed you and kissed you until time toppled over, and your head spun into oblivion.
Vash loved you…
His temple was leaned against yours when you took his earlobe between your teeth, stripped him to his bones, and ruined him from the inside out. Your sweet little tongue was frantic when you whispered, "I'm yours to love."
Hearing your words, he held still for moments, sucking in the air because he felt almost dizzy with satisfaction, running his hands over your thighs.
You. You were his. You, the one who knew if you left him alone at that moment, would fall into the depths of his own hell; if he'd slipped through your fingers, he would be gone, and no one could bring him back. You did not erase all his pain or offer to solve all his problems. You didn't fix everything that was broken, but that wasn't what he needed anyway. What mattered the most was that you stayed.
He loved you.
He loved you so much.
Grasping your soft hips, he buried his face against your shoulder and sped up. You were his undoing, taking him apart and putting him back together differently, better, and more himself than he ever could have been. He gritted his teeth as his orgasm came barreling at him. His hands glided on your back when you shuddered, your inner walls squeezing him so hard he couldn't prevent his release. With a growl, he thrust wildly, once, twice—and then everything around you both disappeared until it was all just colors and light, the sun shines and oceans, apple trees, and blossoms.
Your eyes were still closed, and you felt his hands laced with yours, just to remind you that you had him here and that he was with you. Your partner in everything. His chest heaving, he buried his face in your neck, sweat covering his temples. Kissing him there, you inhaled the scent of his hair.
"You're my family too," you heard him whisper, his words etched into your soul as his lips moved against your skin. And you wished, more than ever, that you could capture moments like this and relive them forever.
12:50 pm – July 21st
You woke up with a smile, your skin still hot from the memory of your vile. You were cleaned with a wet towel, placed in bed with a kiss, and promptly fell asleep. Thankfully, no nightmares this time.
What time was it? You didn't know.
As you stretched your legs under the sheets, you realized your back was against Vash, his prosthetic arm resting on your pillow, the other tucked around your waist. Knowing he had held you this close warmed the pit of your stomach and made you feel so safe that you didn't ever want to move, but you had a thousand things to do today, but you never, ever wanted to move.
Truth be told, you loved these moments the most. The quiet contentment. Being enveloped by his naked body. You never felt closer to him than you did like this when there was nothing between you.
Today was a big day delayed by your nightmare and the sound of that stupid radio! There was no way you were going to let anything overshadow his birthday anymore. Even for a few hours, he deserved this celebration, this little distraction. He deserved to be happy, eat, and laugh.
You sighed, hating to wake him up since he seemed pretty tired. Slowly, you turned around in his arms. A smile tugged at your mouth as you watched him, amazed at how his presence could bring you such peace. He shifted again, burrowing deeper into the pillows, and you realized he must be exhausted.
Watching the movement of his throat, you breathed him in, running your hands along the deep, strong lines of muscle in his arm. His entire being felt raw. Powerful. Being a plant had something wild and terrifying about it; somehow, this knowledge only made you love him more. You traced the contours of his shoulder blades, then his spine. He stirred, but only briefly, and buried his face in your hair.
"Don't go," he whispered softly, pressing his nose to your scalp alongside his lips.
You tilted your head, gently kissing the column of his throat. "Vash," you whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."
Taking a deep breath, he said, "good."
You smiled. "Oh, but we should probably get out of bed. I promised Rosalina I'll help—"
A disapproving sound escaped his throat as he shook his head, deftly helping you turn around. He hugged you close again, your back pressed against his chest. Soft and husky, his voice was full of desire when he said, "C'mon, let me enjoy this. Feeling good."
"You don't want a cake?" you blurted out, but it certainly caught his attention.
You could feel he raised his head, stiffened and confused. "How come Rosalina's making me a cake?"
Did you hear correctly? Had he forgotten about his birthday? Did this day become neglected to the point where it was forgotten?
Turning around, you saw he was sitting, his body frozen and his heart probably pounding furiously. Getting him to attend his birthday would take more effort than you expected. Because he asked how you could possibly plan a party for him, why anyone would throw him a party, what if he didn't even like birthday parties, and so on. Still, you didn't fall short. Since the day he told you about Rem making them a cake for their birthday, you kept track of his birthday. The July incident wasn't going to overshadow his birthday. It was your vow to replace that memory with better ones. That forever and ever, you'd strive to drown out the darkness that had ruined his life.
In his eyes, tragedy and beauty could be seen, a stoicism that wouldn't be shaken, and childlike joy that couldn't help but flow. When he swallowed, you noticed the gentle movement in his throat and moved your hand to his ear, your pinkie touching his earring, then tracing down his jawline. You didn't receive a rejection, but you didn't receive a yes, either. Why wasn't he saying anything? He had you on your worried until he clasped his hands over his face.
Your hand brushed against his undercut as you gently kissed his temple and tried to pry his hands away from his face. "Vash?" you said, your words hardly a whisper. "Is everything alright?"
The reply took him a few seconds to come out, but when he finally did, he nodded. It was only once, but it was enough. "Yeah," he said softly. "I'm okay."
The feeling of relaxation washed over you as you exhaled. "If you don't want a—"
He held and squeezed your hand as he looked at you, his eyes round when he said, a little nervously, "what have I done," he whispered, his voice trembling, "to deserve you?"
Did you die of joy? Because he took your face in his hands and kissed you so passionately, it blew your mind. Your heart began to beat violently, and you didn't recognize yourself. You didn't recognize your hands, your bones, your heart. You felt new. "Thank you," he whispered. "For loving me and everything."
"It's very, very easy to love you, Vash," your lips might have said, but the words never left your lips. You didn't know what to do, so you reeled him in, kissed him, and lost yourself in his taste and feel, in the fantasy of what you might have. What you might be.
But wait! Didn't you know fate was a jealous, vicious mistress that never ever slept?
You blinked.
You blinked again, but this time for too long. You saw a flash of blood spewing inside your open mouth. Nausea returned with a swiftness that scared you. A breath was drawn, your fingers fluttering as you desperately tried pressing them against your stomach. Pain filled your eyes as you kept them open. Clenching your fists, you attempted to control spiraling thoughts.
However, nothing helped. Nothing helped. Nothing, you thought. Nothing, nothing, and nothing.
Where was Vash? Where were you?
Throughout your open eyes, terror oozed from your heart. You heard someone calling your name. A hand brushed lightly along your spine as you shivered suddenly at the unexpected sensation.
" …," the voice said, "do you … ?"
The warmth moved in only to meet the coldness of your skin. You felt it all. Again and again, a touch of his finger did pull you out of your nightmare.
A rustle of sheets caught your attention, and Vash pulled you onto his lap. Straddling him, your legs stretched across the rumpled fabric. Wrapping his arm around you, he spread his hand along your back.
It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was just a dream.
Turning carefully in the cradle of his arms, you pressed your forehead to his bare chest, your eyelashes fluttering against his rough gash.
"You okay?" he asked, his metallic fingers combing through your hair in a soothing act.
"Yes," you replied, forcing air into your lungs. You were breathing hard, head spinning as you held on to him. "Yes."
"Is something wrong, Elay?" He probably had lowered his head because his breath was touching your shoulder.
"Nothing," you claimed. Your heart was beating fast, too fast. You didn't know why you were lying. You should have just told him, but you didn't know why you weren't.
Wait.
Actually, you knew.
You were waiting.
You were waiting to see if this shit would pass. It had to, because today was a special day. Because you were already exhausted, and the radio's sound was repeating in your ears. Because you didn't want to add another burden to his shoulders with your silly nightmare. Even more, it wasn't real. Just a figment of your imagination, and saying it out loud would make it sound more real than it really was.
Vash asked no further questions. He was more of an "if you love someone, let them keep their secrets to themselves " guy. He pulled you close, and you melted into him, grateful for his warmth and steady hold. You took a deep, shuddering breath and let it all go, exhaling against him. A faint aroma of caramel lingered in your nostrils as you breathed in his skin's rich, heady scent. The minutes passed silently as you both listened to each other breathe.
01:45 pm – July 21st
It took a while, but your heart rate steadied.
You could feel it.
Here.
This.
Your bones against his bones. This was your home.
"What're you thinking?" His lips touched your neck, a graze that sparked, hot and cold, right down to your toes.
"Been thinking about you." You raised your head and looked at him. He was smiling, the unfaltering sun glinting in his eyes. You could see his fear, hopes, and love for you like a mirror to his soul in those mountain lake-colored spheres. Then there was something else as well—something like bliss. It was a faint glow, but it was there and made you so happy. You had blessed the blessing. He deserved happiness after everything he had been through. After all the horrors he had suffered alone.
"Me?"
As you closed the gap between you two again, you nodded against his chest. Nothing was said, but you could hear his heart racing until he exhaled. It was a heavy, uneven sound, as if he might have been holding his breath for too long.
Gently, you ran your hand along his back. "How long has it been since you celebrated your birthday?" you whispered.
"Hm?" He buried his face in your hair, and his nose glided over your scalp in what appeared to be caressing movements.
It didn't take a genius to figure out when he was ducking a question. You wiggled a little to loosen his grip and looked up. Your fingers ran through the soft, silky strands. The sight of him mesmerized you. His eyes were wide and bright. His lips soft and pale. He was perfect, bare, and beautiful, holding you in his arms. Sighing, you closed your eyes. "Let me ask it this way then," you said, "How many birthdays have you missed so far?"
Nothing came out of his mouth for what seemed like an eternity. You felt him finally move. In a gentle caress, his prosthetic fingers touched your face. "150 birthdays," he whispered, his voice uneven.
Your spine tingled involuntarily. 150 years of solitude. Loneliness. Alone with himself. On this giant planet. Where was his home? Where were his friends? His lovers?
You knew he was so much better at being alone as if being alone came more naturally. He led a life of deliberate seclusion, and when occasional loneliness crept in, he knew how to sink in and absorb its particular comforts or work his way out. After all, there were always bars and saloons and strangers around.
You knew he wanted to carry the weight of life all alone, even the burden of those he once loved. It wasn't fair, though. You had to be allowed to help him carry it all. A frown formed on your face, and you inhaled, "Happy birthday #1! Happy birthday #2! Happy birthday #3!..."
His metallic forefinger stopped your lips. Slowly, you looked up to meet his eyes. His expression was sad, sweet, and filled with love. You felt something thawed inside of you as you stared at him.
"You don't have to do this," he said as he separated his finger from your lips to brush away stray strands of hair from your face. A part of you wished his finger could stay there longer.
"Shut up and let yourself celebrate! We've got at least 150 birthdays to catch up on!"
He kissed your eye, and you felt his smile on your eyelid. His lips started moving tardily when he said, "I don't—"
"Shhhh! Since you interrupted me, I'm starting over!" you snapped and continued, "Happy birthday #1! Happy birthday #2! …"
The smile on his face grew bigger and bigger, as if he was filled with so much joy that he hardly recognized himself. You couldn't recall the last time he smiled this much. It was the most pure, unburdened bliss you had ever experienced.
He held you the entire time you felicitated all his forgotten birthdays. You could see it in how he looked at you. You could feel his fears disappearing and his emotions becoming something else. Now, his touch was hot and electric against your skin. Your heart was beating faster and harder, and he didn't have to say anything. You could feel the temperature change between you.
"You," he said, staring at your mouth. He touched his nose to yours, and something inside you jolted to life. You heard your breath caught, your ears turning red, unbidden. "I love you," he whispered.
The words did something to you every time you heard them. They built something new inside of you. You swallowed hard. A fire consumed your mind. "You know," you mumbled shyly, "It never gets old hearing you say that."
Leaning you back a little, he moved, his nose brushed the line of your jaw, and his lips touched your throat. You were holding your breath, terrified to move, to leave this moment.
"I love you," he said again.
Heat filled your veins. You could feel him in your blood, his whispers overwhelming your senses.
"Vash," you said. You wanted to talk to him about what happened hours ago. You knew you should've moved and snapped out of this but couldn't. You couldn't think. And then his hand brushed against your breasts. You breathed quickly, fighting against a sudden rush of pleasure.
It was impossible to pretend anything when he was this close to you. You knew he could feel how badly you wanted him. You could feel him, too. His heat. His desire. He made no secret of what he wanted from you. What he wanted you to do to him.
He kissed you softly, wrapping his arms around you, one too cold, the other too hot. Your body shifted forward in his embrace as you took another painful, agonizing breath.
"I know you're worried," he said, his lips too close to yours and his hot breath in your mouth. "I know we have to talk, but—" He never finished that sentence. He kissed you as he reached down, trailing his fingers along the inner parts of your thighs, and the movement seared through you. Your vision went white. You heard nothing but the pounding of your heart, then you remembered.
"Vash? Um-I have to-ah," you panted, "she is waiting."
You could feel his smile as he whispered the word in your ear. His fingers were teasing your groins. "Please." And you were gone.
One hand kept your head steady, the other roamed around your loins, and he kissed and melted you. Your eyes met his, and the feeling threatened to drown you. He kissed you, and every thought and worry wicked away, replaced by the feel of his mouth against your skin, his hand claiming your body.
Holy Molly!
He eft his kisses everywhere like he knew, like he knew how desperately you needed this, needed him, needed this comfort and release.
Like he needed it, too.
Taking hold of his neck, you raised yourself up to kiss his nose, cheeks, and lips. The line of your bodies was welded together. You felt yourself dissolving, becoming pure emotion as he parted his lips, teased you, and breathed into your mouth. "I love you," he said, gasping the words.
He kissed the top of your shoulder, and his artificial hand wandered over your body, down your back, cupping your back side, lingering on your upper thighs like he wanted to memorize the shape of you, always leaving you in awe of how gentle he was. Your muscles tightened with longing, and you were surprised at how much you wanted him.
Again.
So soon.
However, you had to stop this.
"I'd better get dressed," you said, pulling yourself back, grabbing sheets, and covering yourself with them. "I've got stuff to do."
A grin spread across his face as he watched you as if he could sense your frustration. You crawled from his lap, the bedsheets catching under your knees and making you lose your composure. Like a sneaky fox, he couldn't resist taking advantage of the moment. He yanked the rest of the sheet away from you and tucked you underneath him. His weight pinned you to the mattress, a knee intentionally jammed between your legs and slowly grinding you down.
"Here's what I want for my birthday," he said, kissing your parted lips. He knew what he was doing and knew you couldn't comprehend his words. "I have this idea. Just hear me out; I think that maybe you should consider being naked all the time. I mean, just always. Okay?"
"Okay. I have to—" What were you saying? He had his mouth all over you, sucking at your breasts, licking your throat, his fingers going straight to your sensitive spots.
The moment he got there, you knew you wouldn't let him go, even if he wanted to. So, you needed to gather your wits and act before it was too late.
Think. Think. Think.
"Vash!" you gasped, pushing him up with your hand as much as possible. "I know you're going nuts like a hunk in heat," you said, holding his cheeks between your hands and staring at his big downturned eyes. "I gotta shower and go to the saloon so you can meet me there at eight, okay, good boy?" You tapped on his shoulder.
With raised eyebrows, Vash got off you, but you remained trapped between his knees. Although he crossed his arms and pretended to be mad, you could see him fighting back a smile. It was amazing how that poor piece of sheet managed to cover his hips; otherwise, you wouldn't have been able to focus on his face.
"You were going to take a shower without me?" he said sternly.
You couldn't figure out what to say for a moment and then carefully asked, "would you like to join me?"
Considering your offer, he gazed at you, up and down, with a sweet, secret smile. The look in his eyes was enough to persuade you to agree to anything. You would do anything for this man if he asked. Even if he didn't bother to ask.
"Vash."
Your heart was heavy as you whispered his name, filled with emotion. You went still as he hovered over you, gently mouthing your nipples. His kisses grow more intent, leaving a trail of fire across your chest, down your torso, and rushing through your veins.
Suddenly, you forgot why you were even in such a hurry.
Your hands slipped around his neck, and you reeled him in. He felt incredible against you, his body fitting perfectly. You tilted his face up, your hand caught somewhere behind his neck and the base of his jaw, and you kissed him softly and slowly, heat filling your blood with dangerous speed.
As one hand held him steady, the other skimmed the smooth skin of your waist, gripping your hip hard. He parted your legs with his thigh, hearing you make a desperate sound deep in your throat, and it did something to him, to feel and hear you like that, to be assaulted by your pleasure and desire. It drove him crazy.
Vash buried his face in your neck, and his hand moved up to feel your breasts' tender skin, hot, soft, and sensitive to his touch. He wanted your body under his hands, the scent of your skin, and the light whisper of your hair against his. Licking your earlobes, he tried to ignore the strain in his muscles and the hard, desperate pressure driving him towards you, toward madness.
An ache was expanding inside you and demanding more, craving him to flip you over and lose yourself in you. You clung to him, your eyes half-lidded, your face flushed. Your breathes were heavy when you said, "take me, Vash."
His eyes widened, and he stared at you like he might be going deaf and blind at the same time, hunching over from the effort of inhaling and exhaling. He said nothing and only looked at you carefully from the top, drinking you in. His pulse was wild, his mind racing. There was no way he could refuse you.
02:50 pm - July 21st
Vash stepped aside, and you pushed the sheets away when he asked you to get up. Soon you were standing in the middle of the room as he had demanded.
He couldn't look away from you and probably couldn't even hear himself think over his heart beating fast like a thud against his skull. Pinning you against the closest wall, he kissed you wild enough for you never to forget why he was called the stampede. His fingers touched every everywhere. Every bend and arc. Every pit and hole. Leaving gentle slaps and smacks on the soft skin of yours.
It was lovely to feel your soft curves against his rough edges, and somehow, the paradox between the smoothness of your bodies pressed against each other made the scene even more surreal. In order not to miss any precious time, he picked you up, and you gasped, shocked, and scrambled to hold on for dear life. He pushed the bathroom door aside with his shoulder and carried you into the shower.
He needed you. Needed this. Now. You could see it in his eyes, in the upward arch of his erection.
He drew a deep, unsteady breath before switching the tap on.
A short scream tore through your throat.
You two got soaked in cold water as he pressed your front against the shower wall, losing himself in you like never before. His kisses were more profound, more desperate, and his hands less considerate than before. The heat more explosive, and everything between you wild, raw, and vulnerable. His mouth devoured you. He had his lips all over your body, his tongue tasting new places.
With the cold tiles touching your breasts, a sensation of pleasure spread throughout your entire body. You could feel it, the bottom half of your body urging you to press against him more deeply and fully. He had to hear the pleas of every cell in your body because his next thrust was so intense that you had to hold on to the wall with your palms to steady yourself while your cheeks pressed more and more against the cold ceramic as he had his way with you.
You lost track of time.
You had no idea how long you had been here. You didn't know how long he had gone haywire in you. Your knees were starting to shake when he turned you around, and your eyes fell on his soaked hair sticking to his forehead and clumping eyelashes blinking slowly. You considered yourself lucky for not only seeing such a marvel but also tasting him and feeling him.
With such hunger, he kissed your lips like he hadn't had them in years. You felt the hard tiles press against your back as he pushed himself inside, without hesitating to move up and down. Over and over again, you were lauded, his panting echoing within four walls.
So many times that you wanted to open your mouth to protest, but every time he took one turgid nipple into his mouth. Heat surged through your blood as his teeth scraped over the end of one, and you moaned instead of complaining. You couldn't stop thinking about how good it felt to feel him inside you, his tongue twirling around your other breast.
The pressure was built. You were consumed by the need to reach the climax in every action. Your stomach muscles were tightening and quivering.
He moved his hands from your hips to your head, tangles of wet hair wrapping around his fingers as he pulled you upwards for a kiss. His tongue immediately thrust past your lips, and he increased his speed.
God! Nothing had ever tasted as good as Vash, you thought. Sensual, decadent, the flavor of him slipped through you.
His hands clenched tighter in your hair, and his teeth bit the flesh of your neck, but you barely noticed, barely caring about the hickey it would leave as he threw back his head, groaning your name. The sight of him in the throes of his peak drove you to the edge, your inner muscles clamping around his hardness, pulling him in deeper.
You cried out, clutching his shoulders so tightly that your fingernails dug into his skin, and your screams were muffled against his chest. The plunk of shower water running between your feet could be heard as your body shook, and he leaned his forehead against your head.
His hot released load was dripping and sliding down on your thighs when you collapsed into his arms, feeling weak and unsteady. He held you close to himself, tight yet so gentle, stroking your wet hair with his fingers and leaving small pecks wherever he could reach. "We should eat something," he said, kissing the curve of your shoulder and the sides of your neck.
You were intoxicated by the pure, stunning power of his emotions, endless waves of love and desire, love and kindness, love and joy, love and tenderness.
So much tenderness.
You pressed your cheek against his chest and held him as he braced himself against the wall. Your bodies were wet and heavy with feeling, your hearts pounding with something more powerful than you had ever imagined possible.
Water was dripping from the mess of his hair. So gorgeous, you thought. Then you forgot where you were and what you were going to do. Your arms and limbs trembled slightly, and he was too terrified to let you go.
Too in love to let you go.
07:15 pm - July 21st
As night fell, the blue haze of the day lifted and revealed the stars brightening the sky, shining like beams of happiness, appearing still as an old photograph. The wind blew Vash's hair into a tousled bun.
He walked out of his favorite shop and leaned against the wall with a big bag of donuts and an even bigger smile. Yeah, he perfectly knew he would eat cake, but eating donuts had nothing to do with it: a warm-up, just appetizers.
His eyes followed the long shadows of townies milling around under the flickering lamppost lights, even though he couldn't make out any faces from such afar. He liked this town. It was so small that his typhoon hadn't yet found it. Or maybe because he was a stranger here. Nobody knew him, and everybody was safe from the curse his name carried around.
Everybody but you.
You already had been spelled by those fifteen letters.
V-A-S-H-T-H-E-S-T-A-M-P-E-D-E
Taking a look around, he tried to find a clock on a building or something. The birthday boy didn't want to be late. This and, of course, the words you uttered before you left the house:
"Eight o'clock, Vash. Don't forget! Don't be late! Don't be early and wear that white shirt. See you there!"
He sighed and took a donut from the bag, careful not to stain his white shirt with his clumsiness. It smelled great. What a heavenly aroma, smelling like honey. This and you and this town. It sure felt good to see happy people around.
Without further ado, he took a bite of his sugar-coated donut.
He expected it to taste incredible and super tasty, like being alive, but he couldn't feel it. There was a sense of numbness in him. The weight of an unknown worry was heavy against his heart.
A muffled whistle-like sound echoed in the distance, followed by several. Another shot rang out, this time sounding like it was meant. Suffocating silence, creaking doors, and screams that tore the sky open.
He felt strangely dull, as if his connection with his body had been cut off. The bag fell to the ground, and the donuts scattered around. People were crying, weeping, but all he could hear was the wind's wails in his ears, slapping sharply against his face.
He took uncertain steps forward. The area outside the saloon looked like more than a graveyard. It was worse than he had expected. There were injured people everywhere; some collapsed on the ground.
From where he stood, he counted two men, one woman, and a child dead. Open eyes, mouths agape, fresh blood still dripping down limp bodies. Where were you? Something about that realization struck fear into his veins.
The horrifying possibilities flashed through his mind. His mind was blank as to what had happened. Were you okay?
Vash looked over the crowd, still staring, waiting for you to show up. Waiting for you to find him. But you weren't anywhere to be found. In the chaos, he ran from one to another, people scattered around, and he didn't see you. The terror of this moment kicked him in the gut.
So many thoughts were tangled in his head that he couldn't untie the insanity. He glanced back at the doors you were supposed to come out, opening it with a smile.
He waited. He waited longer than was reasonable. Then he called you. Quietly at first, then louder. He shouted your name. His chest was being torn apart by fear, squeezing his heart. A part of him was afraid to speak the words aloud, fearful of making them true.
His legs felt like they had been formed from fresh clay, like he was moving through a fog. His voice reached everyone, pleading this time, running forward until the doors were in his line of sight.
"Is she in?" he asked, but no one answered. Everybody was frozen by the agony of the moment. All that could be heard were silent weeps and the wind howling.
Vash gulped, his throat all dry, and walked in; his lips parted, his eyes wide and horrified. The blood in his veins all ice.
Pain.
It began at his feet, bloomed up his legs, unfurled in his stomach, and worked its way up to his throat, only to explode behind his eyes. The sudden scream ripped itself from his lungs. It wrenched free from his chest without warning, without permission, and it was a scream so loud, so hard and violent, it broke his back. His hands were pressed against his knees, his head half bent.
Echoes of his misery would never be lost in the wind or carried away by the clouds but would always live between these walls. Forever.
His voice was unfamiliar to him. The horror, shock, and dread that flooded his body was something he had never felt — never known before, not like this.
The popped balloons on the walls. A half-ruined cake on the counter. Blood-stained confetti all around. A shoeless foot lying on the floor. Locks of tousled hair slipped from the makeshift shroud.
The numbness was now merciful, at least for a few moments. Then, everything crashed.
Vash fell next to the body. The knowledge rushed up in him, choking off his breath. Another scream tore its way out. Then another, and another. It felt as if his very essence had been ripped from him.
He pulled you into his arms, clutching you tightly, barely able to breathe. His fingers seized your hair and yanked it from your face. The golden strands of his hair fell onto your bloody face. You were called over and over, but it didn't seem like anything more than a sound. His pleas were like commands, begging you to open your eyes, but you ignored them as if playing a nasty prank.
Vash held both of your hands in his. There was no touch. All he felt was an empty coldness. The silence grew even louder, consuming him like a pitch-black shadow. Biting his lip, he tasted a faint metallic taste on his tongue. The desperation in his expression, the grief carved into his features, the way he looked at you as if he were about to pass the gates of hell and utter his last farewell.
Suddenly, he wanted to laugh one of those strange, high-pitched, delusional laughs that marked the end of sanity. Because this world, he thought, had a terrible sense of humor. It always seemed to mock him, making his life more miserable and ruining his dreams by destroying everything he ever loved.
You were dead. This pain was truly real.
Vash broke apart. Sobs cracked open his chest and cried until the pain spiraled and peaked; he bawled until his head throbbed and his eyes swelled. His fingers dug into your back as he called, desperate for a sign of hope. Your hollow body was clutched to his heart, and he felt the injustice roared through him. The feeling fractured him apart. His forehead pressed against your cheek, and his mouth trembled as he whispered, "C-Come ba-ck." The words fell apart. He could only mumble stuttering sounds.
He kissed your knuckles briefly. Would you have blushed if you were still breathing, whining about how cheesy he was being? He could only imagine your reactions now.
Hot tears streamed down his face, and he squeezed his eyelids shut in an effort to make them stop. He sat there unmoving for quite some time with choppy breathing and watery eyes.
09:00 pm - July 21st
Things were in a state of disarray in his vision. People were coming in with dropped shoulders and muffled weeps in the air. Someone approached and touched his shoulder for comfort, and a fierce unknown rage emerged in him. He could kill the man there but would have to let go of you, and he couldn't.
Vash turned his face back and held you so tightly like you would be able to feel the faint beat of his heart. He wept, cradling you, and he wouldn't move nor speak a word other than your name. It was like seeing the sun through the water. His tears fell, but you wouldn't be able to kiss them away this time.
"How dare you mourn her!" Someone bent over him. "You killed her!" Weak fists landed on his back but hurt him more than torture and shots. "She died because of you! You bring misfortune and destruction everywhere you go!" yelled Rosalina with a devastated voice.
Words, he thought, were such unpredictable creatures. No gun, knife, army, or enemy could ever be more powerful than a sentence. Blades may cut and kill, but words would stab and stay, burying into the future, digging and failing to rip his skeletons from his flesh. These weren't nice things to say. Not now. Not after what he was going through. Not when his white shirt was covered in your blood, and his hands burned with the bit of warmth left in your body.
Vash continued to hold you, silent and steady, even as the tears receded, even when he began to tremble. He had you tight as his body shook, held you close when the tears started anew, held you in his arms, and stroked your hair, whispering, "Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me." His voice was a terrible thing, cracked and broken.
He felt guilty. Anyone who got close to him was doomed to die. He thought his actions and inactions always took away his loved ones. Oh, stubborn, stubborn Vash! Of course, he would blame himself for something that had nothing to do with him.
The once happy eyes of Rosalina spilled hot tears on his shirt. "For two years, you lived among us, looked into our eyes every day, and lied about who you are, Vash the Stampede!"
Several gasps were heard from the crowd, followed by whispers filling the air.
Vash the stampede was here.
Chaos.
Questions flew, and weeps were muffled. Everyone was shocked, horrified, freaking out. You had long been forgotten, he thought.
"Is he the most wanted Vash the Stampede?"
"Were there raids in the saloon because of him?"
"The bounty hunters were after the money on his head?"
"They shot us and ran away because of this man?"
"This guy really had us fooled!"
"Is this true?"
Vash's reality was too broken, too distracted to process these kinds of talks. This horrible instant was one mess of insanity in his mind. He couldn't make any sense of it. He didn't answer a word to anyone and just stroked your cold cheek with as much gentleness as he could.
Someone shouted, "What's the hell's the matter with you? Say something. At least make some excuse!"
"Shame on you for bringing danger to our town!"
"We've heard enough of your crying!"
"At least have the decency and go die like a man!"
"No normal human being could cause all these horrible things! He had to be a monster! Who else could have been responsible?"
"Did you feel some of the pain of people who died because of your reckless behaviors?"
He was dying, he thought. He must be. He thought he knew what death was like, but he must have been wrong because this was a whole different kind of dying—a whole different kind of pain.
"That girl died protecting this demon?"
"She knew about the humanoid typhoon all this time." The man gulped and pointed at your dead body. "Our loved ones are dead and hurt because of her stupid devotion to this walking disaster!"
The scene was quite unbelievable, horrifying. His mind reeled, incapable of comprehending or processing what he was hearing. Everything in him came to a halt while his thoughts caught up. It was for him that you died. The shock brought a quietness, a moment to gird his soul for what would come. Truth poured gasoline on the spark of denial in his belly, burning him alive. It fashioned itself into a knife and stabbed him in the eye. And the funny thing was, he didn't want to do anything to stop it. Anguish was all that remained of you; he embraced it with all he was. He deserved it. So he bled with a smile on his face, wishing the pain to end him this time.
"If that self-righteous whore had revealed his whereabouts, not only would she be alive now, but the others wouldn't be dead either!"
Blackness seemed to press against his eyes, ears, and throat. He couldn't breathe, hear, or see clearly, and the suffocation of the moment was so terrifying that he was almost sure he had lost his mind.
How many insults can one person take before throwing in the fucking towel? For him, that number was infinite, but for you, he wouldn't allow even one.
He stood up and grabbed a fistful of the man's shirt. He pointed a gun at the infamous criminal, but Vash ripped the gun out of his hand. "What did you say about her?" he asked with a voice like a rusty saw that wanted to cut the bone. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were burning in absolute rage. Nobody had seen him like this. Not once. People were so used to his calm and kind demeanor that this side of him scared them. If they wanted a typhoon, they'd get one. He was fortified with a new kind of anger, a desperate, animal intensity that overpowered him and forced him to stand still.
The man was trembling in his grip. "N-nothing," he finally said. Vash's pulse was racing, breathing heavily, almost like he would burst. The muscles in his hand tensed, causing him to crack his knuckles. Almost like a blazing inferno, his blood boiled in his veins, burning him from the inside out. He was mainly angry with himself, but that wouldn't stop his urge to hunt each and every single one of those bounty hunters, just to make sure they suffered and felt a lot of pain, just like he felt. No longer did he want to show sympathy to anyone. Maybe he was really a monster, wasn't he?
"If they learn your name and start haunting you, we'll run away! We'll run, run, run, and keep running as far as we have to! And when things calm down, we'll settle by their side again. You won't kill. You'll never kill anyone again, and one day, people will begin seeing you as I do."
Recalling your words, his eyes widened, and his fist loosened. The man's face was devoid of color. Vash tried to read his eyes for something but saw nothing but terror in the end. He was afraid.
No.
Your race was merciless. How could they say such a thing about one of their own? This man probably deserved the worst, but you didn't want Vash to be cruel, only to be kind. And he couldn't do this to you. Because if he did and an afterlife existed, you'd probably be the only sad person in heaven right now.
Dropping the man on the floor, Vash crushed his gun in his hand and tossed it away. The stranger was groaning and hunching over when he returned to you.
It was the first time Rosalina had seen him like this, her brain unable to digest or process this information. Unlike the man she knew, this one had cold, sharp eyes only focused on you. The look on his face was different. Scary, even. Somehow that worried her even more. She might be sad for you, even hate her people for having talked disparagingly about you; maybe she would give them a piece of her mind and grieve your loss. Maybe. Right now, though, her child's safety was her top priority, and this blood-stained man didn't look very stable.
"Listen, we don't want to die! Leave here and never come back!"
Vash sat by your side, helpless, as if something had broken inside him and all his emotions had poured out. When you left him alone, did you take some part of him with you?
"Get her out of this town. This disaster would've never happened if you hadn't stumbled into this town. She'd still be alive," Rosalina said firmly, staring at your peaceful face like you were in a deep sleep.
Vash didn't answer or even glance at the woman who wanted to help you celebrate his birthday. Like an orphan, he pulled you impossibly close, your bodies soldering together. He pondered Rosalina's words and the night he saw you and wondered whether your life would have been different if he hadn't met you. Who was even capable of answering this? As he whispered your name and begged you for forgiveness, his tears washed the blood from your cheeks, and Rosalina felt something inside her die. As she watched him willingly take all blame upon himself alone, as if he was already familiar with this feeling, she felt something break apart inside her.
Vash resembled his wanted posters now. A tall man with blond hair covered in red, but this time, it was your blood instead of his famous coat. His hands were trembling so hard he couldn't even recognize them anymore. Even so, he picked you up, cuddling you in his arms, only to notice the hickey on your neck from hours ago. Pain cramped his joints, breaking away every single bone in his body. He wanted to shriek through the sky; he wanted to fall to his knees again and sob into the ground. He didn't know why the agony wasn't finding an escape through his tears.
"Think way back. Remember that story I told you? About the man that found a blank ticket that could take him anywhere he wanted? That man is all of us. Where you go is yours to choose. You'll always have that ticket in your pocket, no matter what darkness life throws at you. When you're ready, write down the destination. I promise you. You'll be alright."
He wished Rem was right, but there was no such concept as happiness in this world. There was only endless strife, destruction, and death. There was only loneliness, pain, and regret. Whatever he did, no matter how much he pleaded, no matter how much he wished with all his heart to make things right, life always had a way of taking everything from him.
It seemed like Vash the Stampede's life had peaked, and nothing that came after you would ever matter to him. Because for him, there was before you, and there was during you, but he didn't want any after you. You were the light he never knew he needed. He was lost in the darkness, wandering life without direction. Then he found you, and you brought him warmth and light. You were the one who saved him. Twice and he couldn't do the same.
As he walked forward, he pleaded with his bones to remain steady, to carry him through the rest of the day and into the rest of his meaningless life. He passed through the crowd as if he had never been a part of them. The sand dragged under his feet, his knees weak, but he held you tight and walked away. His footprints grew smaller and smaller until there was only the empty silence of a long, lonely night.
Let's let him be for now. Everyone deserves to be left alone for a moment or two, right? Be that as it may, he always lost his most precious ones on his birthdays. Maybe it would have been better if he had never been born so that he would not have to endure so much grief alone. Or perhaps it was the way it was so we could be part of his life.
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Author note: My real world had grown so dark that I didn't want to live in it. That's why I escaped and spent the day in a world darker than mine. Please accept my sincere apologies for dragging you down here with me ^_^
If you have anything to say, don't be shy to use ASK and the comment sections.
Disclaimers: This fan-written story contains quotes from "The Song of Achilles", "King Killer Chronicles", "Shatter Me" series and "Reminders of him" books, "Hamlet" play, and "I am unafraid with him" poem by pencap on Tumblr.
The arts are from "Trigun Stampede" anime.
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835 notes · View notes
svnaaaaaa · 5 months
Text
On My Way - Sano Manjiro (Mikey) : Part One
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pairing : mikey x fem reader
summary : takemichi realized that he could change the future. with help of naoto, takemichi uncovers the secret life of how the past future happened.
warning(s) : anime + manga adaptation, mention of car accident, going to heaven scene,
previous : prologue
next : part two
masterlist
author's note : as promised here the next part! sorry if it is kinda boring.
tagging : @worldussysblog @princessoftoman @patricia142lilian (if you want to be tagged in, let me know)
recap : the girl looked at hinata and y/n, her eyes lighten up. "nice to meet you, my name's emma." emma introduced herself. "i'm hinata and this is y/n." hinata introduced as y/n bowed her head.
little did they know, mikey was watching the whole time.
-
2017
"nee-san, have you ever thought about the name yet?" yuuki asked one day after they went to the hospital for y/n's time scanning for the newfounded baby. y/n hummed to herself. "hikari for a girl, yuta for a boy." y/n replied, smiled to herself. "hikari because she will be the light of my life, yuta for him to be courageous in this world." y/n explained, this time yuuki smiled to herself. "that's a very thoughtful meaning." yuuki commented making her older sister giggled. rubbing her stomach gently, y/n is sure that she couldn't wait to meet her baby soon enough.
"mama.." y/n flinched but still can't open her eyes yet. "mama.." this time y/n opened her eyes slowly, and saw a black, fluffy haired boy with dark pair of eyes that resembles mikey the most with her nose and mouth. fully aware who the boy is, y/n sat up from her lying and the boy, yuta, smiled. "mama, let's go." yuta held out his small hand, y/n reached out at her son's hand. then she saw someone that she missed the most. "let's go, y/n." it was mikey. "mikey?" y/n mumbled to herself and she saw the smile that she missed the most. mikey held out his arms making y/n run into it and hug him tightly, to show how much she misses him. y/n sobbed into mikey's chest, making mikey placed his right hand on the back of y/n's head. "i miss you too y/n, my love." mikey said. "papa, mama, let's go now. heaven's waiting for us!" yuta exclaimed, making both his parents chuckled at the small child. y/n hummed, grabbing yuta's hand into hers same goes with mikey doing the same to yuta as they are walking their way to the light, hand in hand, swinging back and forth.
2005
tonight's meeting is about the new third division captain as pah was put into juvie for attempted murder. and takemichi was joining in as mikey's guest, since he is mikey's friend afterall. hinata, emma and y/n were sat at a nearby hut at the shrine. from distance, y/n discovered that mikey is a leader of a group of deliquents called tokyo manji gang, or toman for short.
she admired at how cool and charming mikey looked. and she could feel heat on her cheeks. "eh y/n-chan, are you feeling hot?" emma pointed out. "it is a bit warm tonight." emma continued as she pulled out hand-fan from her purse. "here, it should cool you off a bit." y/n took the fan and started to fan herself out. "thanks emma-chan." y/n thanked and looked away, not wanting people to know her new refound crush.
"third division captain, come step forward!" mikey shouted and takemichi felt like mikey was directing towards him. 'eh? is mikey-kun calling out for me?' he thought to himself. there were mummurs around asking who does mikey pointed out to until a dark shadow walked past a crowd of guys towards the front. "that's the new third division captain?" a guy asked. "which one, the small one or the big one?" another guy asked. the mumblings between each guys were vocally sounded until the guy that was pointed as the new third division captain took a seat in front of mikey. takemichi, shocked when he saw the face. a familiar face, but when? 'who is he?' takemichi thought to himself.
"the hell his problem?"
"is he for real?"
"he just sat himself with his back to our leader!"
emma scoffed at the scene. hinata and y/n looked at emma. "in gang world, it is consider as rude to show your back to the leader." emma explained. "wow emma-chan, you know everything about the gang world aren't you?" y/n asked and emma just smiled. "my older brother used to be in a gang." emma told her. then the three of them were shocked at a sudden shouting.
"listen up morons! this man sitting behind me is the new third division captain," a bulky guy shouted. "kisaki tetta!" the bulky guy continued and hinata shocked at learning the name. "kisaki tetta?" hinata asked and she took a good look at the meeting. emma and y/n looked at hinata confused. "hina-chan, you know him?" y/n asked and hinata nodded her head yes. "we went to the same cram school together." hinata explained. "no wonder." emma said and they continued in watching the meeting.
"our gang is going to challenge up valhalla." mikey announced. "valhalla is a rising power and to beat them, we need to be powerful too!" mikey continued which making the rest of the gang members cheered up, chanting 'toman, toman, toman'. "this concludes tonight's meeting." mikey dismissed everyone and walked back towards where the three girls sat at, making y/n becoming shy.
before mikey could say anything, a shout for mikey was called. "mikey!" it was a dark long haired guy. mikey turned his head sideway. "why are you even here baji?" mikey asked, his mood for a small talk with a girl he found interested was gone. "you have caused infightings the gang and have been banned from our gatherings." mikey continued. the guy called baji smirked, giving an eerie feeling. like something bad would happen soon. "since i ruined your precious gathering, are you going to throw me out this time?" baji asked, making everyone shocked. 'what is he talking about?' thought takemichi. "i'm leaving to join valhalla." baji announced, and the shock was getting more shocking than ever. "baji!" mikey shouted and baji started to leave the place. "you don't need a trouble maker like me right mikey? so i quit, the first division captain, will be toman's enemy. " and by that way, baji left.
takemichi was dumbfounded by this surprise and he heard a snicker from his back. "toman's falling apart."
after the gathering, takemichi, hinata and y/n walked their way home as hinata and y/n lived in the same apartment complex. y/n left the couple first home, leaving the couple hanging out at the park nearby. "takemichi, what are you thinking about?" hinata asked as she swung herself slowly. takemichi looked up at the sky, and sighed. "mikey-kun, asked a favour from me." takemichi replied, making hinata wondered what the favour was about. "he asked for me to get baji-kun back to toman." takemichi explained. looking at hinata. 'even see you right in front of me, it kills me to know that you're dead in the future.' takemichi thought to himself. hinata smiled sweetly at takemichi, making takemichi's heart skipped a beat. "i wish you good luck, takemichi-kun." hinata said and by that, it was time to go home.
by the time takemichi about to left the premise, he bumped into a boy being bullied. "hey!" takemichi yelled. the bullies looked at takemichi's way. "so you think it is nice to bully a kid that isn't your size huh?" takemichi asked as he saw a glass bottle. he grabbed it and smashed it to make it looked like a weapon. the bullies looked afraid by takemichi's action and scattered away, leaving the boy alone. "huh, what a mess." takemichi commented and as he about to leave, he was halted by the boy. "uh, i think you should throw it away before it hurts other people." the boy advised and by that, takemichi collected the glass shards.
"thank you for saving me back there." the boy said as he handed out a can of a drink, it was an orange soda. "what's your name?" takemichi asked as he received the soda and opened it to drink. "tachibana naoto." the boy replied, causing takemichi spurted out his drink. "tachibana, you're hinata's sister?" naota looked at takemichi weirdly. "yea, i am." naoto replied as the two looked up at the sky. "take good care of your sister, because 12 years from now, your sister will die. with my cousin, and her baby." takemichi said, making naoto looked at him weirdly. "so take care of her okay?" takemichi said once again, making naoto nodded his head. takemichi held out his hand, naoto reached out and they shook hands.
darkness appeared.
2017
"takemichi-kun!" it was yuuki. once takemichi opened his eyes clearly, yuuki was sitting next to him. "where.." "you had an accident after the funeral, you have been hospitalized for two days now." yuuki explained, making takemichi looked at his arm. there was an iv drip. "may i have a word with him?" a man's voice asked as yuuki turned around. "takemichi-kun, this man saved your life at the train station." yuuki explained. 'i'm not dead?' takemichi thought to himself and looked up. "huh?" takemichi dumbfounded. "i'm tachibana naoto." naoto introduced himself. "i'll leave you two alone." yuuki said and left the room.
once yuuki left the room, the atmosphere in the room changed. "takemichi-kun, 12 years ago, you told me about my sister will die and that i need to save her-" "so is she-" takemichi saw naoto shooked his head no. "you changed the future takemichi-kun, even though your cousin didn't make it but her baby did." takemichi shocked. 'yuta-chan?' takemichi though to himself. "you can time-leap takemichi-kun. therefore, i am here to purpose you a teamwork."
'yuta-chan, survived?'
2005
right before takemichi went down to the ground floor, takemichi went to a floor he knew where y/n lived. "huh, takemichi?" y/n opened the door. takemichi reminded of how y/n was in the present timeline.
"it was manjiro, wasn't it?"
"tokyo manji gang, it was him who killed hina-chan!"
"oi bakamichi, what's gotten into you?" y/n asked, waving her hand in front of takemichi's face. "you have been like this since earlier this day. i'm getting an eerie feelings from you." y/n explained, making an annoyed face at him. "n-nothing, just, i want to ask you a question." takemichi said as y/n raised her eyebrow. "do you really like mikey-kun?" takemichi asked as y/n's face redden up and looked behind her. yuuki was focused on doing her homework at the dining table. y/n looked at takemichi angrily and went out of house with closing the door. "bakamichi, you!" y/n scolded as the red on her face didn't fade off.
y/n looked away at the sky, admiring the stars that appeared that night. "this is my first crush." y/n said silently, making takemichi looked at her. "so i didn't know what to expect." y/n continued. "i really like him, even though i don't know him." y/n told him, making takemichi admiring her, smiling.
"bakamichi, mikey! look over here!" y/n called out, pulling out her digital camera to take a picture of the two building sand castle. "who are you calling stupid!" takemichi shouted, making mikey giggled at the two family members. y/n pulling her tongue out at takemichi's way while hinata giggled from their spread-out mat. takemichi stood up making y/n stood up as well. once y/n noticed takemichi's legs started moving, y/n sprinted first making takemichi chased after her. "oi, that's my girl!" mikey shouted and stood up as well to start chasing after the two cousins.
"why don't you confess to him directly?" takemichi asked her, making his cousin stunned. 'that's right, before this i was the one they relied on to express their feelings. if they talked to each other in the first place, maybe their future could change!' takemichi thought to himself. then he felt a small punch on his right shoulder. "don't be stupid bakamichi." y/n said shyly, looking down at her feet. "there's no way a guy like him would like someone like me." y/n admitted. making takemichi chuckled. "this is so not you, y/n." takemichi said, making y/n looking at him angrily as she growled at him.
2017
few days after takemichi was admitted into hospital, he was finally can be discharged. entering neonatal-intensive care unit, takemichi saw yuuki holding a bundle of a baby. yuuki looked up and saw takemichi behind the door. yuuki smiled and waved her hand to signal him in. takemichi entered the unit and slowly walked towards yuuki, and yuta.
"yuta, this is your uncle takemichi. as your mama used to call him, bakamichi." yuuki said to the small baby, causing takemichi frowned at the name. "why would you say that to him, later on he will call me that." takemichi whined making yuuki chuckled.
the small baby who felt his sleep was interupted, also whined at the noise. "it's feeding time for you huh?" yuuki announced as she stood up. same goes with takemichi. "you know you are allow to visit yuta-kun anytime you want." yuuki said and takemixhi nodded his head yes. "thank you, yuuki-chan." takemichi thanked.
as takemichi walked out of the hospital, he saw naoto waiting by his car. "naoto?" takemichi asked and naoto just eyed him.
-
"time leap, i have a theory of this power of yours." naoto stated as he walked back and forth in front of takemichi. takemichi just watched him doing so. "so you have time leaped from 12 years this date to today, which means you can time-travel in 12 years on the same day." naoto explained. 'naoto's losing it.' takemichi said to himself.
'he's gone totally bonkers!'
it has been two days since takemichi went with naoto to his place to discover the theory of time travel and how it can effect the future like how takemichi have changed baby yuta's life where he was supposed to die alongside y/n but he was the only survivor. takemichi discovered that the reason behind y/n's death this time was because she was with hinata and suddenly a truck hit them causing the car that hinata drove went sideway and crashed onto a tree which fell onto them. luckily yuta survived in the midst of this thus y/n was admitted into emergency labour. and naoto believed that this was a plan set up by tokyo manji gang.
'mikey-kun, your son. don't you want to see him?'
naoto worked as a detective in police department which is now why he explained the details of tokyo manji gang. "we should do what we can right now that you can travel back 12 years from now and change the future, which we can save my sister and your cousin." naoto explained. "but how do i go back to the past?" takemichi asked and naoto turned his back to look at him. "shaking hand with me is the trigger since both you and i have the same mission, which is to save our beloved ones." naoto informed and takemichi was taken aback. 'i can change the future, this time i will make sure everyone got their happy ending.' takemichi swore to himself.
naoto held out his hand. "good luck, takemichi-kun." naoto said and takemichi reached for naoto's hand as he nodded his head.
2005
when takemichi opened his eyes, he was in his classroom.
"takemitchy, you're an official member of toman. welcome aboard." mikey said as he smiled.
"bring baji back from valhalla." mikey requested as he looked down at the floor of the shrine premise. "if you fail, i'll kill you." mikey warned.
takemichi sighed as he placed his head on the table. "takemichi." takemichi raised up his head to see his friends coming into his class. "we heard that you're officially in toman now." akkun said and takemichi just laughed it lightly. "t-that's right, i became a member of toman just that way." takemichi told them, making some of them whined. "really? how'd it happened?" akkun asked and takemichi just taken aback, remembering what naoti informed him.
"one of the members, atsushi sendo, was the one who caused the accident and eventually died due to the collision."
takemichi looked sideway and whined silently, 'i can't look at him directly!' "wish we could join too." yamagishi whined to takemichi. "'crybaby' takemichi is now in toman." takuya said. takemichi sighed, making them to shut up. "it's not that cool as you heard them." takemichi told them, as he whined up and told them about his mission to get baji back into toman per request by mikey.
"so mikey's gonna kill you if you didn't get the ex-first division captain back into toman?" akkun asked, making takemichi whined. "how am i suppose to get him back when i don't even know what's inside toman." takemichi sighed as yamagishi cleared his throat for attention. "allow me." yamagishi said as he went to the writting board and picked up a chalk, writing 'tokyo manji gang' on it. "or toman for short." yamagishi started as he wrote mikey's name and draken's name. "so mikey is the leader of toman and draken as his vice-leader. there are five divisions with 20 men in each division." yamagishi continued. "with total of 100 men altogether, it was the largest biker gang ever. but with now from what i heard, a new gang called 'valhalla', has a total men of 300, surpassing toman itself with 150 men of 50 men from the new third division." yamagishi told them and takemichi remembered from that night of kisaki's statement.
"toman's falling apart."
'that kisaki guy is up to no good, he must be the trigger of the bad things in future.' takemichi thought to himself. 'i need to bring baji-kun back asap, but how? maybe i need to meet him in person instead.' takemichi told himself.
'but how?'
"huh?" a voice heard as the door was slided open to reveal unfamiliar face. "is school over already?" he asked, looking around the class. "who the hell are you? you don't look familiar here." makoto said as he stood up from his seat. the guy just chuckled. "i'm your senpai here." the guy told them. all of them shocked. the guy just smiled. "anyway, you know who hanagaki takemichi is?" the guy asked, tilted his head to the left. yamagishi gasped as he pulled makoto, making makoto confused by yamagishi's action. "t-takemichi, this is, valhalla's number three, hanemiya kazutora!" yamagishi told takemichi directly as kazutora heard takemichi's name, approaching takemichi with open arms. kazutora wrapped his arms around takemichi which makes takemichi confused with the sudden action.
"yaaay, i'm so happy that there's a toman member in this school below me!" kazutora said and then grabbed takemichi's hand. "come, let's go to valhalla's hideout!" kazutora told him and pulled takemichi out of the classroom to the said valhalla's hideout.
'valhalla's hideout, maybe i can meet baji-kun there!' thought takemichi.
-
a/n : as always, if this part also get 100 notes, i wilk post the next part hehe 🩵
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gojosattoru · 7 months
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Hello everyone! Hope you are doing well cuties! I've missed you all so much! ^^ *hugs* So I'm doing this post to announce that I will start taking commissions again. I have been working as an illustrator, it has been really fun, my boss she's cool and has nice ideas but the issue is... she doesn't pay me on time... and sometimes I wait till 2 or 3 weeks till she pays me.. I'm really needing to gain more money... I have been trying to find a second job but it has been difficult.. No matter the curriculums I send.. no one responds or they say i don't have enough experience....... I'm really getting frustrated..
So I'm coming back, fortunately I have been feeling much better lately thanks to my psychologist and my medication. I want start editing again and tho on opening commissions on Tumblr and for Twitter! I can make icons, headers for both websites (or for any other social media if you want) I too have been doing a lot of chibi drawings, (you can see them on my art page on twitter and my blog and sideblog @letsbeeart) if you are interested and you could help me, I would really appreciate it :) If anyone wants to request feel free, but if you could give me even a small ko-fi :https://ko-fi.com/gojosattorus it would be wonderful, if not it's okay i'll do requests nonetheless ^^ so the prices for the commissions are these:
Headers alone are 10$;
Icons (anime and manga) alone are 3$;
Batch of both they are 11$. 
Chibi Commissions: (i should say this, if you want to commission me chibis please ask for fandoms i'm into! Since I'm more familiar with them and gives me more motivation to draw it helps me a lot! Genshin Impact and Honkai Star Rail are good too ^^)
1 Character -> 25$;
2 Characters -> 35$
+ Characters -> 50$
with background -> 15$
It would be awesome if you guys could spread this post around as much as you can…Sorry for coming out of the blue with this.. I have been on hiatus for a month and a half due to my mental health and now I suddenly appear to open commissions (like i said i can take requests too you could give me a lil ko-fi if not it's alright too) but I have been thinking a lot recently since I don't gain THAT much and my boss always delays the pay day.. I should do something to gain more money! I have been practically doing nothing recently... So if you could support me, even just a lil it would help me a lot!.. Thank you for all your support, love, kindness and strength you have been sending to me recently and for keeping liking everything I do guys, makes me really happy whenever I see your messages ; U ; I will keep doing my most effort to create the best for you guys and I hope you like them and can enjoy too! Thanks for reading and to reblog. Anything you are interested in, or any doubt, you can always message me and we will talk things through. Wish you all the best and I love you very much!! 💖💖💖💖 Have a lovely day/night! *hugs* Take care!
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Of course asking people which monster they find more fuckable is a good way to get them to say funny things, so I got a lot of funny comments on the Most Fuckable Monster in the Dungeon Tournament. So as usual, I compiled a list of the ones I liked best, ordered by the poll they were commented on. Enjoy!
Barometz vs Dryad (round 1 part 1)
dryad boobs in my mouth please please please you're nothing
Man-eating plant vs Mandrake (round 1 part 1)
getting my dick digested by a pitcher plant
its what laios would have wanted
Skeleton vs Dullahan (round 1 part 1)
why is the armor sweeping?? how are ya'll planning to fuck the armor??? at least the skeleton you could like wedge a vibrator or fleshlight into the pelvis. I forgot this is the celibacy site and fucking is not a real physical thing on here
fools do not see the eroticisim of plate armor
Phoenix vs Harpy (round 1 part 2)
harpy has a tits out kinda look
Griffin vs Hippogriff (round 1 part 2)
Me at first: really? You’d fuck the horse? Me, remembering the barded penises of felines : no wait you’re right
White dragon vs Red dragon (round 1 part 3)
It's canon that white dragons fight furiously while red dragon is the equivalent of that blue hands dinosaur in Prehistoric Planet
white dragon is cuntier somehow
Treasure insects vs Succubus (round 1 part 3)
another tits out kinda look
normal poll matchup. normal poll. do people want to fuck a succubus or inch long insects. who will win
Huge scorpion vs Huge spider vs Mimic (round 1 part 3)
What you do to the mimic is hidden from the eyes of all
The mimics got that dog in it
dark souls mimic resemblances have me thinking unwise
something about the mysterious air around the mimic
Golem vs Ice golem (round 1 part 4)
Same deal but one freezes ur junk off I think the winner is clear
Gargoyle vs Hag (round 1 part 4)
..abusive mother kink????
Familiar vs Jack Frost (round 1 part 4)
familiar is customizable 👍
Doppelganger vs Demon (round 1 part 4)
That stupid sexy cat simply slays too much cunt
Hippogriff vs Fish-man (round 2 part 1)
no offense to my buddy fish-man but that hippogriff is too majestic
Living armour vs Undine (round 2 part 2)
One if the extras has a really perturving bit: Undines fed by consuming liquids with mana. Holm mentions regularly feeding it BODILY FLUIDS.
is wearing living armor anything
White dragon vs Green dragon (round 3)
she made that dragon sooooo cunty and for what
Cockatrice vs Demon (round 3)
you should've put the slutiest picture of the demon. to remind everyone that ryoko -sensei is down BAD
no one: ryoko kui: i am going to make a lion demon that is SOOOOOOO [redacted]
everybody vote for demon! a vote for demon is a love letter to Ryoko Kui
I do find it funny we're blowing the demon whore moments on like, the cockatrice matchup
This manga is so slutty and yet so tasteful in it that you can't really call it anything but great in every aspect of its eroticism
Mermaid vs Harpy (quarter finals)
i am so mad rn. a mermaid !? more fuckable than a harpy!? for shame tumblr for shame
White dragon vs Succubus (quarter finals)
Dragon fluffye!
Chimera vs Mermaid (semi-finals)
sorry mermaid. falin fucks supremely.
sorry falin. gotta stand up for my fellow merfolk here
a vote for chimera is a vote for lesbians
Succubus vs Demon (semi-finals)
Not even the sucubbi stands up to the limitless demon sexo
if you think about it. the succubus can turn into the demon's many forms
Chimera vs Demon (finale)
fags and dykes fighting to the death over this one
Listen man. Even if I'm gay I understand why Falin is winning but- Consider that the demon knows your exact wants and desires and could satisfy your sexual needs perfectly. Also when he's buff and humanoid near the end
either of them deserve to win but demon sweep because that fucker showed up in a dream to me once
teef!!!!
VOTE FOR DYKES. VOTE FOR SLEEPY GIRLS. VOTE FOR SHARP LITTLE TEETH
Mermaid vs Succubus (battle for the bronze)
mermaids can't lose to magical mosquito people PLEASE
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maybe-arts · 1 month
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ATTENTION KIRBLR
YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO
KIRBY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!
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Remember the big collab we've done last year over at Far-Flung Starlight Heroes server? Well, this year we're doing it again!!! And guess what?
You are encouraged to participate too!
What is required from me?
Not much - just pick a single character from Kirby's canon and draw them celebrating Kirby's birthday! The theme this year is "photographs": everyone at Kirby's birthday party are taking a BIIIIIIG group photo with him, and we're trying to make this (probably) the biggest group photo of all Kirby's friends (and some enemies)!
The only thing I ask is that you don't take characters that have already been claimed. I'm intending this to work on "no dupes" and "first come first serve" basis, but I do believe there's a plenty of friendly faces to pick from!
Right now we would really like to have:
Rick
Kine
Nago
Gooey
Flamberge
Pitch
Elline
Claycia
Can I pick multiple characters?
Yes, you can! In fact, there's more than just a drawing of a single character that you can add: the end goal is to make it into a scrapbook-worth page, so any and all decorations, birthday wishes or additional party photos with your chosen characters are welcome!
Keep in mind, however, that additional characters (if they're separate from your main character) and any extra elements are optional. You're more than welcome to pick them, but only if you're sure you can make it all before deadline.
Are the characters from anime/novels/manga allowed?
Yes, they are! I may have to ask for the character's origin if I'm not familiar with them (ESPECIALLY if it's a novel original, I have not read all of them), but you're free to pick as well known or obscure as you'd like. (I know some people on the server are very interested in adding GSA members to the photo...)
In fact, these are who we'd really like to have from anime:
Tuff
Fololo & Falala
Sir Ebrum
Lady Like
Escargoon
Deadline? What's the deadline?
The deadline for submitting your drawings is April 25th. (You can get in some last-second additions up till April 27th, as I'm free that day, but I will be very nervous.)
There's no deadline for signing up, however, so as long as you're ABSOLUTELY SURE you can whip up something good in a matter of couple of hours, you may add your character up till the dawn of last day, haha! (You will sure give me a surprise with that one.)
Okay, but what if all the characters I know/want are already picked?
I know, with FCFS and how many of characters are beloved, this is bound to happen. Not to worry tho!
I have compiled a list of notable characters in the series with references of where they're from and if they have or have not been claimed. You can easily see, which ones are still up for grabs!
If nothing really catches your eye, you can always try and discuss with people who have taken additional characters to see if they're willing to give away, trade or even collab with you to make your characters interact on the group photo! (Trust me, most of the time they will cooperate, so don't hesitate to reach out!
(Keep in mind, however, that the list ISN'T a strict directive on which characters are allowed or needed to be taken. If you have someone on your mind that I've neglected to put in, you're more than welcome to pick them!)
Alright, I'm in. How do I send my submissions?
Simple! I'm working via Google Sheets this time (mostly bc I don't know how Google Forms work and also so people more easily see which characters are taken), so all you need to do is to check out this little handy-dandy link:
On the first sheet you'll see, there's more information on this collab and requirements, and also a list of people who'd already signed up!
To properly sign up, you'd need to list:
Your nickname (so I'd know how to address to you)
Your Discord username (for communication)
Your Tumblr and/or Bluesky username (for crediting once the finished collab is posted, if you don't have either, Twitter/Instagram/other social media of choice is also fine, just know that the result will be posted only on Twitter and Bluesky)
The character(s) of your choosing (to properly claim them)
Rough placement on the canvas (for me to figure out where to put you, maybe you want your character to hold Kirby, or high-five someone else, or discreetly put up horns to someone when they're not looking!)
Submission download link (for me to download your finished submission and add it to the canvas)
Notes (anything you'd think I'd like/need to know about your choice!)
I'm working in Clip Studio Paint, so if you do to, the easiest option would be to upload your cleaned up and flattened work as .clip file. If your art program of choice is different (like Krita, IbisPaint or PaintTool SAI, for example), you can export your work as either .psd or transparent .png. Where to upload your submission is up to you, Google Drive works in a pinch tho.
But wait! How will people know I've participated in this??
That's exactly what I need your usernames for! As I'm posting this on Tumblr mainly, I'm going to @ you as a method of crediting your submissions (specifically pointing out which part you worked on!). After the finished work is posted, you're free to post your individual submissions - either as a reblog of collab or separate post.
Great! Anything else?
One last moment - the main part of communication about this collab happens over here at Far-Flung Starlight Heroes server. (Don't worry, I have permission to promote it.)
It's a chill, fun Kirby-themed server, open to fans of games, anime and novels alike. Are you an artist? Great! Are you a writer? Even better! Do you want to ramble about Lore Implications or just document your 10th 100% completion? Go right ahead! Do you just want to gush about your OCs? People here would LOVE to hear about your little blorbos from your head.
That's it from me! See you around at Kirby's Birthday Party!
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Sword gays showdown, round 3 of bracket one
Propaganda:
For Alucard:
He has a sword that he can command to fly around. He's bisexual. He's depressed. He's both the direct opposite of his father and too much like him. He's part of the most disastrous polycule to ever exist. He's a jerk. I love him, he's very important to me.
Symphony of the Night has too much of a cultural impact to not have him be included here. He’s an aroace icon with a huge sword collection (he’s bisexual in the animated series). He has a flying sword familiar and a sword he can hold in his hands. Loves taking naps.
For Zoro:
Literally training to be the greatest swordsman in the world. Has a special three swords technique (one blade in each hand plus one with the handle held in his teeth). I haven't read the manga or watched the anime but the live action adaptation gives me extremely gay vibes and based on the fandom things I've seen I'm not the only one
bro uses three swords. has one in his mouth. dont ask how the HELL he manages that. one day he will be the worlds greatest swordsman....after he beats the current greatest for both the titles of greatest swordsman and fruitiest swordsman. he's dramatic as FUUUCK like bro what the hell. has homoerotic fights with the local twink like everyday. directionally challenged, can and will get lost in a paper bag, doesnt know left from right...he probably cant read, too. hes too silly ngl
First of all, im in like episode 250 and so far he hasnt been shown attracted to any woman at all during the whole show so far, not even when one changed clothes in the same room as him and this is anime so you know there were other characters with bloody noses and shit. With that out of the way he wields three swords at once [two in his hands, one is his goddamn mouth dude. Its cool af trust me.] When he was little he made a promise to his best friend that he'd be the best swordsman in the world. Later she died in a tragic accident and left her sword which he still uses today. He also carries a cursed sword but he overpowers the curse with a combination of skill and sheer luck. He got stuck in a chimney. While his crewmates sail their ship he takes naps. He learned how to cut through metal by fighting a guy who could turn his body into metal blades. That's metal. He refuses to fight this liberal marine officer because she looks like his childhood best friend and its just understandably really awkward for him. He's autistic. He's a he/him bisexual lesbian. He's a gay man. He's ace/aro. He's whatever you want him to be babey!!
he has 3 swords, wields one in his mouth sometimes, his dream is to be the greatest swordsman in the world
three swords and big aroace-spec gay vibes
He not only has a sword he has *three* swords. He's absolutely gay there's no way to see this man as straight. Also one time he licked his sword for no reason and that was really funny to me so I had to mention it
Look, this man thinks about three things: Swords, His Captain, and Booze. He’s on a quest to be the worlds greatest swordsman. The Live action has a scene where he declares his undying, unwavering loyalty to his captain WHILE reaffirming his promise to be the worlds greatest swordsman. At this point His dream and his Captain are so intertwined it’s crazy. Man is so sword-y he’s got three of them. When one of his swords broke he carried its empty scabbard until he was able to give it a SWORD FUNERAL. He hears a sword is cursed and takes that as a challenge. He will literally tell his swords off for “bad behavior” when they “act up” due to being straight up cursed. He tests one by throwing it in the air and sticking his arm out to see if it is so blood thirsty and ill tempered that it will cut him. Even though he’s literally the first mate if you ask him what his role is he’s going to answer Swordsman.
He's dedicated his life to two things: becoming the greatest swordsman in the world and his captain, Luffy. 
He mastered the three sword style. Its his style. It would've been more swords but he could only fit one sword in each hand and one in his mouth. He wants to be the world's greatest swordsman, a deal he made with his childhood best frenemy (before she died falling down the stairs). He thought he was All That at the start and was almost completely decimated by the actual Worlds Greatest Swordsman. Now, after two years forced training with that guy, he's probably in the top tier no-doubt, and honestly could already be the best but we just don't know for sure yet. Also, did I mention: he's got the whole demon/devil imagery going on at times. And he has absolutely no sense of direction! plus is a total softie when it comes to Chopper and all the children who somehow gravitate towards him. And he loves naps!
One of the guy's main goals in life is to be the best sword fighter and he fights with three swords which I think is telling enough of his skill.
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manjibunny · 4 months
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Pretty When You Cry
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Synopsis: Everything seemed to go so well for you and your best friend, Chifuyu, until you discovered your feelings for him...
C/W: Angst, no comfort, friendship breakup, mentions of gang fights and wounds, mentions of death (no one dies tho), imagery from Greek mythology if you squint, messy as hell, reader is emotionally unavailable and doesn't know how to deal with their feelings, Chifuyu deserves better :/ W/C: 4k + words A/N: Welp, off to a good start in the new year. As previously mentioned in a post, this fic took me a good while to finish. This fic is basically me reflecting on a situation that occured many, many years ago. I was so foolish to destroy something great in favor of keeping my heart safe, but today I'm old enough to know that love is a complicated thing, even if it's just platonic. Tagging luvs @avatarofstars @kokonoiscoconut @nanamikentoseyebags (look, this is the fic I rambled to you months ago!)
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Glossary: 
Moira = Also known as the fates; Greek goddesses of fate
Atropos = Greek for “unalterable”/ “inflexible”: one of the three Moira; the goddess that cuts the thread (symbolizes life), making her the one that decides ones inevitable fate 
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Love is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Stalking its prey and disguising itself as an innocent feeling of adoration, it lulls you into a false sense of security. It’s a soft voice in your head that gently whispers to you, advising, begging, demanding you to lower the walls you’ve built around your heart.
“It’s ok” It’ll whisper to you in an encouraging voice “It’s ok to lower your guard. It’s ok to feel vulnerable. It’s only human that you want to love and be loved”
You were 15 years old when you caved, and you caved for none other than Chifuyu Matsuno. 
You wouldn’t have looked twice his way if the circumstances were different.To you he was a troublemaker, someone you’d forget about after graduating highschool. But just like in a classical Greek drama, the Moira already sealed your fate, dooming you to fall right into Chifuyus warm embrace. At the darkest time of your life, he was the sole candle that illuminated the night of your melancholy. His light helped you navigate and keep the demons of the night away. In a way, Chifuyu was your personal safe haven. 
Befriending Chifuyu felt like finally putting the last piece into the puzzle. But no matter how strong a bond is, if the Gods demand the ties to be severed, so it be…
Your lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. Not being used to running this much, your legs began hurting as you stormed through the familiar streets. You ignored the voice calling not too far behind you, begging you to stop, to return to him, to talk to him goddamnit. You ignored the pain that shoots through your legs with every step you take and his desperate cries. Your heart thudded against your ribcage as you finally arrived at your destination: Your home, your fortress. You shakily searched for the keys of your home, taking them out of your pocket. Thank God, you found your keys just in time. You swiftly opened the door and entered, not looking back as you slammed the door a bit too loudly behind you. Once you entered your home, you slumped down right before the door, not even bothering to turn on the lights. With trembling hands you brought your knees closer to yourself. Engulfed in the darkness of your home, you were left alone with the memories of Chifuyu Matsuno, the man that the fates have tied you to. 
Memories of golden days rushed through your brain. Memories of sitting next to Chifuyu in a cute cafe near your university. You and him have been friends for a while now, not imagining what life would be without the other. 
“Look what I’ve found at the bookstore” Chifuyu mused excitedly, “It’s a manga I used to read back in highschool!”
You playfully rolled your eyes at your best friend “Wow, and here I thought you would start reading real literature” You giggled before taking a sip of your coffee. 
“This is real literature! Ai Yazawa knows how to write compelling, and most importantly, real characters. Take this manga for instance-” He scooted closer to you, taking the manga out of his backpack before opening it. Being so close to him, smelling his fresh cologne that he recently started to use, and seeing the excited glint in his eyes as he got ready to rave about the manga, made you feel at ease. Without knowing it, Chifuyu would always calm your nerves. 
You took a look at the opened manga on the table. Inside you saw beautifully drawn panels. As you took a closer look, you noted that the characters have been drawn very detailed. You especially took note of the extravagant jewelry.
“This manga -” Chifuyu pointed at a panel of two women sitting on what appeared to be a dining table.
“- covers so many serious topics. It covers romance, breakups, loss, grief, loneliness, and much much more!” he sighs “Listen, I know you might think this is silly, but I really want to reread this manga series with you because I feel like you could relate with the characters.”
Humming, you gently took the manga from Chifuyus light grip, your hand lightly brushing against his. You inspected the manga closer, flipping through the pages and skimming through the speech bubbles sporadically before closing it. Upon closing the manga, you teasingly side-eyed your best friend.
“‘Nana’? Really?” You chuckled as you handed the manga back to him.
“I heard of this manga. Man, I wouldn’t have thought that you’d be into that” sighing, you continued your teasing remarks. “Who would have thought?Just when I thought I knew everything about you, I’m learning something new” 
Chifuyu flushed at your taunts. He took the manga back and brought it close to his chest.
“I know, I know. Who would have thought that a feared gangster would be into that stuff”
“Feared? You’re Chifuyu Matsuno, not Sano Manjirou”
Throwing a glare at you, you knew this was Chifuyus way of asking you to shut up. You chuckled at Chifuyus blushing angry face. Adorable, you thought to yourself as you took another sip from your coffee. 
“I’m just joking. If ‘Nana’ is so important to you, I’m willing to give it a shot” You grinned at him “But we need to find the Saturn shaped earrings. I don’t know much about the plot, but I can tell these characters got style”
Bittersweet memories of you and Chifuyu sitting side by side in silence reading his favorite manga shot through your head. You’d discuss the themes with him, but most importantly, the jewelry of the manga. As it turned out the Saturn shaped earrings were made by the real life designer brand Vivienne Westwood, and staying true to your words, you dragged Chifuyu to a department store that sells Vivienne Westwwod pieces. 
You remember entering the department store and being met with the smell of expensive perfumes and the bright colors of designer bags. As you walked further and further into the store, mesmerized by the sheer luxury money could buy, you finally spotted the familiar logo that you’ve been looking for. You grabbed Chifuyus arm and began moving closer to the Vivienne Westwood stand, excitedly pointing at it. 
“Fuyu, look! We found it!”
You remember him chuckling at you,  you remember the way his eyes sparkled in amusement. But more importantly,  you remember forgetting for a second about the earrings upon gazing into his eyes. A wave of emotions so sweet rolled over you, you swore you were drowning in honey. Or perhaps you were drowning in the oceans of his eyes? Brilliant turquoise pools  that seemed to drag you deeper and deeper into them, and for the first time in your life, drowning didn’t seem so scary anymore. 
Either way, Chifuyu managed to take your breath away that day. 
Your hand felt heavy as you mustered up all the strength to lift it to your ear. The metal saturn in your lobe, the earring you and Chifuyu got, felt so cold against your fingertips as the memories kept on replaying. 
As it turned out, the earrings were way above your budget. Staring at the rhinestone encrusted studs, your mind began to crank the numbers. 
“If I save up, I might get these earrings… in about three months”, you muttered under your breath mindlessly, eyes still focused on the price tag of the earrings you wanted to wear for so long. 
You remember Chifuyu Chifuyu placing his hand on your shoulder and smiling warmly at you. 
“You know, I always wanted us to have a friendship bracelet…” He trailed off, looking at you expectantly. The gleam in his eyes tells you that Chifuyu is trying to say something, hinting at something that you should understand. 
“Yeah? What does that have to do with the earrings?” You bluntly stated, oblivious to his effort to get you to understand what he was trying to say.
“Dummy, you should stop hanging out with Baji-san. His stupidity is rubbing off on you” Chifuyu teased. 
“Hey! Now that is insulting, you know? I’m way smarter than he is” You rolled your eyes at your best friend, feeling irked at being lumped into the same category as your dumbass friend, Baji. You were about to bark back an insult about his stupidly round face, or his dumb, edgy hair from middle school, literally anything, just to shut him up. However, knowing how you get defensive, Chifuyu cut you off, not letting you insult him.
“What I was trying to say was, we could also have friendship earrings. You pay for one earring, and I for the other.” 
You were left speechless. Chifuyu’s words hit you like a brick, the meaning behind them slowly sinking in. He would pay half the price for the earrings that you wanted so desperately… 
The sweet gesture makes you feel fuzzy deep inside. He knew how much you wanted the earrings, so he wanted to make sure you got at least one earring. So thoughtful of him, he cares for his friends a lot… Warmth spread across your body, as you met Chifuyu’s seafoam eyes gazing softly at you. You could make out his trademark smile and a pink hue grazing his face. For the first time, Chifuyu looked different to you. 
Side eying the price tag, you were brought back to reality.  These earrings were still expensive, even if Chifuyu paid half the price. You didn’t want him to spend his money on you, especially on jewelry. 
“You don’t have to-”
“I insist. Besides it’s not like you’re getting the earrings to yourself. We’ll share”
“Still, I would like to-”
“Listen” , Chifuyu cut you off mid sentence once again.
“I will get you the earrings one way or another. If we walk out without the earrings today, I will come back and get the earrings another time. I know how much you want them, so please, let me at least help you out”
Your stomach churned, Chifuyu’s words hitting you right in your heart. Trying to be annoyed at him turned out to be futile, his stubbornness and insistence on getting the earrings made you feel appreciated. You meant a lot to him, and Chifuyu would go out of his way to prove to you that you are dear to him. 
You sighed, giving up on all your counterarguments to stop Chifuyu from his plan. 
“Fine, but promise me you’ll always wear your earring, ok?”
Chifuyu grinned victoriously at you, his hand reaching to find yours as he softly pulled you towards the counter.
“Of course. I just want to see you happy”
Walking out of the store, you and Chifuyu wore the earrings.  You wearing your earring on your right ear, and him wearing his earring on his left ear, you walked through the busy streets of Tokyo in silence. Still unable to comprehend how Chifuyu was able to convince you to have friendship earrings - expensive designer friendship earrings no less - you racked your brain on how you’d thank him. To your surprise, Chifuyu took the initiative. 
“The earring suits you a lot. I’m glad I can share this experience with you”
“Gosh Chifuyu, ever the charmer” You teased back, trying to play it cool. He didn’t need to know that his loving words were your kryptonite. 
“Oh, I know I’m charming” Chifuyu chuckles as he stops and attempts to tuck your hair behind your ear to look at the earring. 
“But I mean it. The earring suits you a lot; you bring out its beauty” Chifuyu gazed into your eyes “I love that we share the pair, you know? Now everyone will know that we are two halves of one whole”
You rolled your eyes at him, your heart beating faster and heat spreading across your face as you heard the latter part. 
“You are such a sap, Fuyu. This is why Kazutora and Baji make fun of you” 
“Hey!”
Chifuyu took his promise seriously; he never took off his earring. He knew how important it was for you to see the shining silver metal on him, and wearing the earring meant to him to commit to you and your friendship. 
Sitting on the cold floor of your apartment, you remembered how your friendship turned into something different, into something that scared you.
As time went on, the boundaries between friendship and romance seemed to blur, and your feelings for your supposed best friend seemed to get more confusing. You found yourself daydreaming about the blonde man, worrying about his well-being and wondering who he's hanging out with when he wasn’t with you. Was he with Baji? The gang? With someone else? Someone prettier? 
You’d have to snap yourself out of your thoughts on numerous occasions. What was going on with you? Why the hell did you think about Chifuyu possibly going out on dates, and why did it break your heart? 
One particular event seemed to open your eyes to what you felt towards Chifuyu, your best friend. 
Worry filled you as the nth text went unanswered. A wave of dread washed over you as the alarms went off in your head after remembering that Chifuyu was supposed to be in one of the shadiest parts of Tokyo, bashing some punk's head. Or getting his head bashed by some punk…
Remembering the way you were practically on your knees, your hands clasped together as you prayed to any God and entity that came to your mind, was bittersweet to you. God, you loved him more than you respect yourself. And you still do. 
You remembered that the only thing that was able to stop your uncontrollable sobbing was the familiar sound of your doorbell ringing. Chifuyu…
It was truly remarkable how you were able to sense the person behind your front door was none other than your best friend.  One moment, you were a sobbing mess on the floor, and the next, you were a sobbing mess at the door. You remember throwing yourself into the arms of a barely standing Chifuyu, almost knocking him off his feet. Tears soaked his already dirty gang uniform, but neither of you cared. All that mattered to you was that he was in your arms in one piece, alive and breathing. 
Chifuyu held you tight. Seemingly having forgotten about his own painful bruises, he softly stroked your tear stricken cheek, cooing reassuringly to you as you felt his warm embrace engulf you. 
“It’s fine” Chifuyu would whisper “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere” He knew you so well. He knew you would worry after not responding to any calls or messages, too busy to fight alongside his friends to pick up his phone, so Chifuyu mustered up the little energy he had left and limped to your home. As realization hit you, you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter. You still shook in his arms, tears still falling down your eyes, but for a different reason.
You couldn’t deny it any longer: You were hopelessly in love with Chifuyu, and that fact alone made you unable to sleep. The memories still fresh in your mind of you rolling around in your bed, trying to find fault in the blonde man. You didn’t want to love him as much as you did, so trying to fall out of love seemed like a viable option. You thought hard of his stupid face when he read his favorite manga. But he looks so cute. His crazy devotion to his friends, he would do the most reckless things just to help. But he is so loyal and loving. You thought about his lame jokes, which you still laughed about because how could you not? No matter the way you looked at him, Chifuyu seemed beyond perfect, too good, in your eyes. With a defeated sigh, you gave up trying to find anything wrong with Chifuyu. There wasn’t anything wrong with him.
As time went on, the feelings you’ve been fighting so hard wouldn’t leave. Like a wolf stalking its prey, it was always a step right behind you, breathing right into your neck as it waited to swallow you whole. You feared loving Chifuyu, but you feared not loving Chifuyu as well. 
So you withdrew from Chifuyu. Despite the stabbing pain you felt inside your heart as whenever you saw the disappointed and saddened face from the blonde whenever you’d decline hanging out with him, you knew that you had to stay away from him. Maybe the feelings would fade away on their own? You kept trying to tell yourself that loving Chifuyu wasn’t an option. It was either get your feelings under control or never see Chifuyu again. Guilty thoughts spread in your mind and followed you to your sleep, making you unable to rest. How could you ever think about leaving Chifuyu like that? 
But oh, the Gods above must be laughing at the spectacle, wheezing as your mind was clouded by the fear of committing. At last, overwhelmed by the dread and lack of sleep, no clear thought was formed as you confronted Chifuyu one last time, to cut the string that connected you two. Everything was a blur, you could barely remember the exact words you uttered to your now ex best friend, but one thing you could never forget, and that was his face. You remember clearly his eyes shooting wide as your words sunk in, his eyebrows knitting together. Chifuyu opened his mouth, to ask you, no, to beg you to stay, but you were unable to look him in the eye with a clear conscience. So you ran to your home. 
A loud bang behind you brought you back to reality. Of course Chifuyu wouldn’t just accept defeat. He’d do anything to get you back. 
“Please, let’s just talk it out!” Chifuyu demanded behind your door, the banging on the door not faltering. He’s going to hurt himself, you thought, wanting to open the door, and bandage his throbbing hands. In another life, you’d profusely apologize for even thinking about abandoning Chifuyu. In another life, you’d have the courage to face the hungry wolf and allow it to consume you; you’d embrace the beast that was love and come to the understanding that love’s bite isn’t as painful as you originally thought. In another life, you’d give love a chance. But fate is anything but nice, and now you have to suffer through the consequences of throwing away your friendship.
You clasped your hand over your mouth, muffling the sobbing to the best of your abilities. Tears streamed down your face, and judging by the shakiness of Chifuyu’s pleas, you weren’t the only one crying. 
“I know you’re listening to me, so please, I can’t just let you cut ties with me like that! Talk to me, we can fix whatever is bothering you!”
And God knows the cruelest answer to the begging of a broken hearted man is silence. But how could you respond when your mind is so loud? Every fiber in your body was screaming, demanding you to answer Chifuyu, to ask for forgiveness and pour your hearts out on him, but you couldn’t allow yourself to open the door. So you didn’t answer him, forcing yourself to remain quiet as the man behind your door couldn’t admit defeat just yet. 
“Please, we can even pretend this never happened. I just need you to talk to me”, Chifuyus voice trembled, still of the opinion that his words full of agony could reach you. You had to finally end it, so you took a deep breath to calm yourself. Collecting the little energy that you had left, you were sent the final blow that burned the bridges. 
“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” your words dripping with poison, you projected the disgust you felt towards yourself onto Chifuyu.
“Can’t you see that I just don’t want to be around you? Things have changed, Chifuyu, so be a fucking adult about it and accept my decision”
And with that, the knocking stopped and Chifuyu remained quiet. You held your own breath as you felt regret wash over you. You said way too much. Your words so mean and hateful, words you didn’t even mean, have effectively broken Chifuyu’s will and heart. The silence became so overbearing that you assumed he might have left already, until you heard his voice right behind your door.
“I’m sorry you had to put up with me. I know that it must have been hard for you to make this decision, but you have every right to end our friendship if it feels wrong to you. I accept and respect it, I really do, although it pains me to let you go like that” Chifuyu stayed silent for a moment, his voice still shaky when he continued “I will always treasure the time that I have spent with you. And despite the way that you’ve decided to end it…. I can’t hate you. Goodbye”
And just like that, Chifuyu left and took a piece of your heart with him. You felt numb, never having anticipated that you’d lose yourself in the process of letting go of Chifuyu. It’s for the better, you tried to tell yourself, but your broken heart knew better. Your attempt at standing up failed, your legs and arms weren’t able to carry you to your bedroom, so you remained seated on the cold floor, your back still pressed against your door. Before you knew it, sleep had taken over you, kidnapping you to a time and place much merrier. 
Dreaming of gleaming seafoam eyes contorted in pain as tears rolled down his rosy cheeks, you couldn’t even escape Chifuyu in your sleep, but oh, he still looked so pretty to you. You wanted to reach out to him so desperately, but you just couldn’t move. You didn’t even have the chance to admire him any longer, as a knock on the door awoke you from your slumber. Groaning, you cursed at the person that had woken you up. Grumbling, you managed to stand up with shaky legs. The person behind the door seemed eager, the knocking not seeming to end anytime soon. So, you opened the door to see an empty hallway. Were you imagining things? Have you gone insane at this point? Or did someone play a childish prank on you? 
Feeling fed up, you attempted to slam the door shut, however, something was blocking it from closing. You saw a small package from a familiar online retailer and mentally slapped yourself. Of course you’d get whatever you’ve ordered at the worst time possible. Bending down, you stretched your arms to pick up the package, until you spotted something silver on your doormat. All thoughts about the package left your mind as you inspected the shiny object, already dreading what it was. 
In your hand, you held a small saturn shaped earring, the perfect twin to the one you were wearing. 
“No”, you breathed out, as your suspicions got confirmed. The silver Vivienne Westwood earring Chifuyu wore as a symbol for your friendship. He must have taken it off and placed it on the doormat after I demanded he’d leave… You knew that this was ultimately what you wanted, cutting contact with Chifuyu to fall out of love, but holding the symbol of your friendship in your hand was a special kind of pain. 
So you took the earring inside, having forgotten about the package, and went to your bedroom. Heading to grab your jewelry box, you placed the Chifuyu’s earring inside. With a heavy heart, your hands moved to your ear, slowly taking off your own earring and placing it right beside the other one. You knew this was the right thing to do, after all, at least the earrings could be a perfect pair together.
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