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#i'm so sad that he never felt understood
fushiglow · 7 months
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i know everyone else has moved on but i just wanna say that 236 was huge for those of us who headcanon autistic gojo
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layla-carstairs · 3 months
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reading tftsa is always an emotional experience especially when you get the short stories focused around the Blackthorns because the absence of Mark just bleeds out. like when you read about Julian being Helen's suggenes and Simon being the witness to Julian's parabatai ceremony you are just burdened with the knowledge that that's not who they would have picked if the circumstances were different. in a different life it was Mark.
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willowfey · 1 year
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#i am not doing well girlies#disclaimers that i am fine i'm always fine i will always be fine but hooo boy i do not feel fine lol#everything is always overwhelming i am always sad  everything feels itchy#every single morning for weeks ive woken up with an anxiety bellyache and no matter how tired i am still i just have to get up#everyone i look up that i used to know is like. married and having babies or working their dream jobs and i just. im happy for them. i am#but where do i belong in all of this?#i know everything feels worse lately bc we're moving house and the routine changes and empty rooms feel Bad#plus my mom has not been doing well mentally which i feed off so it's just. you know#but will i ever Not feel like im so far behind? will i ever Not be deeply unsettled by even the mildest changes?#everything is so slow and so fast at the same time and it makes my head spin and we have a new friend who has a son my age and i was hoping#idk. that he'd be somewhat similar to me? falling behind a little bit too? maybe i could make a friend irl that understood a little?#but then i casually ask about him and oh no ofc he has a partner and family of his own etc etc#right. that's what i'm supposed to be doing at this age.ha#so many ppl i went to school with are married now. im turning the age this year that my mother was when she HAD me#meanwhile ive never even kissed anyone never even held a boy's hand never had any attention like that ever and#i wonder so often what it's like to be wanted by someone but ive never felt more undesirable#i cant imagine anyone looking at me and Wanting me. and at this point as romance obsessed as i am idk if i could even handle it#and the other night i was having anxiety dreams over the fact that i rly want kids but even waiting until im 30 thats only 5 years??#and 30 is already fucking five years away from being considered a GERIATRIC pregnancy?? but im not even done being a kid myself!!!!#and also who the fuck is gonna have a kid with me?? and who knows if i can even get pregnant when i rarely have a period ??#and i cant imagine not liiving with my mom and sister but does that mean i'll live with them forever??#will i be 30 35 40 45 still feeling like a kid? or worse.. will i not feel like myself at all?#will i be married to someone i dont love madly simply bc im so terrified to be alone?#or will i hold so tightly to my stories and fantasies that i will be alone bc nothing could ever live up to them?#will it even matter what i want? will anyone ever want me to even give me the option? or will this all stay hypothetical forever#im just. stressed. and i thought i'd be more by now.
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hannieehaee · 6 months
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them accidentally ditching you on your bday pt. 2 - hhu
content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, conflict resolution, direct continuation to this, fluff, happy ending, etc.
part 1
wc: 3889
a/n: literally so many ppl requested thisjhdf im glad u guys liked it!! im working on vu and pu versions for this rn btw <3
masterlist
seungcheol -
seungcheol sat there for a minute or so, simply pondering at what had just happened. it was 100% his fault, that was something he was very well aware of. he knew that it had simply slipped his mind, but that did not wipe away the hurt he saw in your eyes upon entering your shared apartment. knowing that you had been waiting for him all day made him feel like an asshole. he couldn't believe that he had forgotten about your birthday even upon coming home at midnight the night prior. he felt like such a hypocrite, always whining at people to give him royalty treatment on his birthday but absolutely ignoring you during yours. you, his most favorite person.
he felt hurt that you had decided to spend the night with some friends, instead of in the arms of your boyfriend, but he understood. this was what he deserved. god knew that he wouldve pulled out all the dramatics if you had done the same to him, which was why he was now at a standstill, not knowing what he should do. he wanted to see you so badly, get on his knees and apologize, letting you know over and over again that you were the most vital person in his life and that forgetting you was something that not even he could forgive himself for.
now, he could've sat there and lamented himself over his stupid mistake, or he could run after you before you made it out of the building. he did not want you going to bed angry, or much worse, sad, so he picked the latter and got off his ass to chase after you, not caring about his current exhaustion as he took the stairs rather than the elevator in order to be able to catch up to you before you made it to your car.
luckily for him, he was able to catch you just as you stepped out of the elevator (having ran down five flights of stairs and almost injuring himself in the process), completely unsuspecting to his sudden ambush. he hadn't noticed until now, but you had dressed up, clearly ready to go clubbing or partying with your friends. he felt bad to get in the way of your plans. no, he felt horrible to accidentally ditch you and then ruin your plans. but he needed to at least try and make amends. he knew that if this were him, he'd want you to try and make it up to him.
you jumped back a bit at seungcheol's sudden apparition as you rounded the corner upon exiting the elevator, seemingly not having expected him to come after you.
"cheol, what are you doing?", you didn't seem mad, but your tone let him know you were clearly not content with him.
okay, he didn't think as far as this. his main goal was just to convince you to stay, then he would come up with a way to make it up to you.
"baby, i ... i'm so sorry. i know how hypocritical this is coming from me. i never meant to forget, you know that! there's nothing i can do to make up for having forgotten about you today, but please, please let me try."
"cheol .. i don't know," you paused, "last year when i texted you at 12:03 you complained about it for over an hour. you're the one always making a big deal about this. i assumed you'd care when the shoe was on your foot, but apparently not."
"i do! i do care. baby, please. let me take you out. ditch your friends. i'll take you somewhere. anywhere. i'll even take you out tomorrow too! i'll take the day off. how does that sound?"
"you cant take the day off, cheol. you're an idol-"
"i dont care! they can come and try to drag me away from you if they want. i want to be with you. please let me. please don't leave. cant stand the thought of you going to sleep alone after what i did."
you chuckled at the first half of his statement, feeling touched at the second part of it.
"are you sure?"
he scoffed, deciding to go on a leap and hold onto your hands, pulling you closer to him, "yes! there's nothing i wanted to do more today than be with you! it mightve slipped my mind that today was the day, but i had a beautiful day for us planned, baby. will you let me show you? please?"
cheol knew it was hard for you to say no to him, specially when he whined and pouted at you, giving you his best performance in order for you to understand how badly he felt. it didn't take much more for you to break, finally letting a smile graced your face as you squeezed his hands in yours.
"you better make this worth my while, choi seungcheol," god, he hated when anyone called him that, but you were the exception.
"always."
wonwoo -
wonwoo was astonished at himself, for lack of a better word. he had never been more disappointed in himself than in this moment. sure, he didn't take birthdays too seriously, and he knew you didn't either, but you always made him feel so special on his day he had only wanted to do the same. he was a lowkey guy, so his ways of showing love sometimes went unnoticed by most people, except for you. you accepted the subtlety of his love, loving him all the more for it. he felt terrible that today he showed you the exact opposite of what he had planned. he had taken weeks to perfect the dinner he had wanted to make for you, having prepared a romantic night for the two of you. all he wanted was to make you feel loved as he held you through the night, but his plan had stupidly slipped his mind.
what kind of asshole ditches their significant other on their birthday? for a stupid video game out of all things? as soon as wonwoo communicated what you had texted him to mingyu, his roommate couldn't help but scold him, telling him this was very uncharacteristic of him. which it was. everyone knew wonwoo to be a very sensible guy. it was very rare for anyone to have their feelings hurt by wonwoo. the guy was just simply too emotionally intelligent to ever be perceived as a hurtful individual. except now he had shown a careless part of himself that rarely ever faced the surface.
he was unsure of what to do. it was clear by your messages that you did not want to see him. you quite literally had asked him to not come. your texts to him were always filled with love, somehow being able to have your affections to him transcend even through text. but these were cold, and with good reason. still, wonwoo did not want to give up. the only thing that would be worse than ditching you on your birthday would be to stay where he was, knowing you were not only upset but also hurt by his actions. or rather, lack there of.
so, wonwoo was now on his way to you. well, to your apartment. you had mentioned in your messages that you would be out with friends due to his absence. it killed him that you had chosen to be with your friends over him, but he was fully aware that he only had himself to blame for that. he was glad you at least had someone to be with while his forgetfulness kept him away from you.
he had a key to your apartment, often heading over to fall asleep in your arms after a grueling day of being an idol. upon arriving there, he knew you'd be gone, so he allowed himself in, hauling in all the ingredients he had packed with him in order to make you the dinner he had been planning all these weeks. he was unsure of when you'd arrive back home, so he needed to hurry just in case. there was also a chance you'd come back in the early hours of the morning, knowing you would sometimes stay out with your friends til 1 or 2 in the am. having practiced this dinner multiple times, wonwoo was able to have it all done by 10, hoping that you'd arrive soon so the dinner wouldn't go to waste. he took care of the ambience, lighting candles and even moving furniture aside to make space for his set up. all he had to do now was wait for your arrival.
it had taken you around two hours to arrive. wonwoo had simply sat there waiting for you, not wanting to contact you as to not disturb you. okay, maybe he had maniacally texted you back earlier, apologizing for his mistake over and over, but had received no response, so he had decided it'd be best to just wait for you to arrive on your own. and now you were here, crossing the door to your apartment.
you stopped upon spotting him, widening your eyes before taking note of the dinner table behind him, "wonwoo? what are you doing here?"
he smiled sadly at you, slightly unsure of what to say, "i cooked for you," he paused, continuing upon seeing your confusion, "im so sorry. time got the best of me. i cant believe it slipped my mind. i knew it was today, but i got too distracted. i never wanted to make you feel like i didnt care. i do. so much."
you stood there without saying anything, still carrying a slightly shocked expression on your face. so he continued.
"baby ... please, have a meal with me. i prepared all this for you. this is what i had planned for today, if only i hadnt forgotten. let me make it up to you, please. i already called off tomorrow. i had a whole day planned for us, but i'll do whatever you want. if you want me to leave, i will. just, please. i need you to know how much i care. i love you, you're everything."
you continued to stare at him for a bit, a soft smile slowly breaking into your features before responding.
"nonu .. you didn't have to do all this. i'm sorry if i made you worry. this is ... it's such a sweet gesture. of course i want you to stay. all i wanted all day was to be with you," it melted his heart that you had wanted him all day, but were separated by none other than himself.
he pulled you into his arms halfway through your response, humming as he felt you hug him back. nothing felt as nice as your touch against his.
"im so sorry, beautiful. this will never happen again, i promise."
"i love you, wonwoo. thank you."
"happy birthday."
mingyu -
mingyu had never hauled ass quicker than at that moment, not even bothering to say goodbye to his roommate before grabbing a jacket and sprinting out of the door.
he couldn't believe his behavior towards you. you had always been a top priority to him, and to now realize he had forgotten your birthday gutted him tremendously. but what got to him even more was the knowledge that you had probably been waiting all day for him, having agreed beforehand that he would make space for you on your special day even through his packed comeback schedule. the sole thought that you, the bestest person he had ever met, had sat alone waiting for him all day, made him feel like the worst boyfriend. so now he was quite literally running in order to get to you.
the dryness of your voice during that call should've been the first hint that something was wrong, but what really made the alarms go off in his head was your lack of response when he said 'i love you' to you. mingyu knew it was dumb to care so much about it, but he thrived off words of affirmation, so your lack of response made him immediately assume something was wrong. you had never not reciprocated his words of affection, much less hung up on him. the moment he expressed his concerns to wonwoo, he was reminded by his roommate that 'oh wait, isn't it their birthday this week?' suddenly his mind started spiraling, now remembering that he had forgotten his boyfriend duties on the most important day.
it didn't take him too long to get to your apartment. okay, he didn't actually run there, he was just being a tad bit dramatic. but dramatics were necessary in this situation, which is why the moment you begrudgingly opened the door after his incessant knocks, allowing him inside, he immediately dropped to his knees, looking up at you as he rambled apologies at you.
"baby, i'm so fucking sorry. god, i don't know how i forgot. i swear the day just slipped my mind. i had plans ready, i swear! i've just been so busy with the comeback- not that that's an excuse! you have every reason to be mad at me. it won't happen again, i promise, i-" mingyu wasn't sure when exactly he was going to stop listing off constant apologies to you. he wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying at this point, just repeating himself over and over again, letting it slip past him that you were now standing above him, holding in your amusement at the state of the pleading man before you.
"mingyu, please get up."
like an obedient boy, he got up, now towering over you as he usually did. he immediately held onto your hands, bringing them up to his chest as he continued his apologies.
"you have every right to be mad at me. i neglected you and forgot about you when i shouldn't have. i didn't even wanna come home to wonwoo tonight! i wanted to come to you! but we have a schedule early tomorrow morning, so it was just easier. but i'll cancel! i'll stay here with you! i wanna make it up to you-"
"mingyu, shut up!"
that was enough for him to slam his mouth shut immediately, looking at you as he waited for your next command words.
"mingyu, listen. i understand. i was hurt you forgot, but i understand you're really busy right now, okay? i'm not angry at you. you don't have to cancel your schedule either. i don't want to get in the way of-"
"i'll do it! you're my top priority, baby. you know that."
"i still don't want you to cancel, gyu. it's fine. i'm not angry. i appreciate your apology. just wanted to be with you today .. i'm sorry if i made you worry," you looked down, almost as if embarrassed by having felt hurt by his actions. this made mingyu melt with guilt.
"no, baby. fuck. how can i make this up to you? can i stay here tonight? hmm? i'll cook you dinner and wake you up with breakfast. i'll even cut my schedule short for tomorrow so i can be back home with you earlier. how's that sound?"
"sounds perfect mingyu, thank you," he took this as confirmation to finally hold you in his arms, swaying you back and forth as he hummed the birthday song lightly against your ear, causing you to giggle against him.
vernon -
everyone was aware that vernon could sometimes be a little too chill for his own good. he didn't make too big of a deal about most things, simply going with the flow and allowing things to evolve on their own. except that could not be done in this situation. right now, he needed to make a choice. give you your space, or run home to you, tail between his legs as he apologized for ever having forgotten about you. the last thing vernon would ever want was for you to not feel the immense amount of love he's always had for you. he knew he could be bad at showing it sometimes, but you were the absolute love of his life, which made him feel devastated over and over again as he kept rereading your texts.
'maybe you should stay at the dorms tonight. not really in the mood for you to spend the night. im sorry. love you.' that was what you had last sent to him exactly thirty-eight minutes ago. how could he just sit with that for the rest of the night? specially when all he wanted to do was be with you and hold you and kiss you and show you how incredibly obsessed with you he was. he was never good with dates, but he had always gotten any and all dates pertaining to you right thus far. he even had a gift for you he had purchased a few months back, but he had stupidly forgotten the day he had been preparing for was this week. this mistake was an outlier, truly, but it hurt you nonetheless, which was all vernon cared about at the moment. he couldn't believe you'd been having to hint at your birthday while your boyfriend remained clueless. you must've felt so dejected. he winced at the thought.
however, right now was not a time for lamentations. even if you kicked him out and told him to get fucked, vernon had to at least try to come home to you now. he quickly went over the situation with his members, explaining that he had been a total douchebag and neglected you. that earned him scoldings from all members present, calling him all types of names and demanding he head over to your apartment right this instant to beg for forgiveness and hope you wouldn't just send him right back.
so now he was on his way to you, despite you having instructed him to stay away. he wanted to respect your wishes, but he couldn't go to sleep tonight knowing your heart was still hurt because of him. he needed to at least see you and have you know that he was willing to try and mend things. vernon wasn't one for public displays, nor was he one for dramatics, but he was willing to pull all stops for you if it meant you'd forgive him. which was why he was currently running through the hybe hallways as he called up his driver to be ready to take him to your apartment as soon as he reached the parking lot.
he had had time to think over a game plan on the way over, except nothing came to mind. the two of you had never fought before. sure, there had been a few minuscule spats here and there, but he had never seen you angry at him before; he'd never given any reason to be until now. he didn't want to freak out over this, but knew how hurtful it must've been for you to feel so neglected by the person who's supposed to love you most, so he felt a pit in his stomach with the worry that maybe this would be enough for you to finally snap at his forgetful tendencies and end it. he didn't have much time to think about this, however, as he now stood in front of your apartment door, fearful of knocking on it.
the decision to open the door was made for him, as you incidentally opened it yourself, yelping at his apparition on the other side of it.
"vernon? what are you doing here?", you didn't seem angry. you seemed more confused at his presence. that was good.
"i- uh ... i'm sorry."
okay, kind of a bad start.
"vernon. i told you not to come over tonight. i'm sorry, i'm not really in the mood to see you right now," even though you didn't appear angry, your eyes wouldn't meet his, making him deflate a bit.
"are you mad at me? i'm so sorry. i didnt mean to forget, i swear," vernon knew there wasn't much he could say past that, but he wanted you to at least know he regretted his neglect.
"i'm not angry, vernon. i'm just a little ... sad. i tried to be subtle about it. i mean, i dont even care for my birthday that much, but i hoped my boyfriend would at least remember it."
"baby, god. i am so fucking sorry. i never meant to make you feel like i didn't care. it just slipped my mind. i know it's not a valid excuse, but i need you to know that it doesnt mean anything. i'm just a fucking idiot. i'm sorry."
he was rambling now. somehow you being hurt by him trumped the chance of you being mad.
"vernon, it's fine. i dont want you beating yourself up about it. i'll get over it. i just need space tonight. i was about to go meet with a friend before you got here," you seemed like you just wanted to get out of the situation, clearly feeling awkward at even expressing your disappointment at him. it made vernon feel like even more of an asshole.
"no! be mad! you shouldn't get over it. i should be making it up to you. stay. please. i'll do anything you want. i'll take tomorrow off. we can do something together. anything you want. i have a gift for you and everything! i got it while in japan, the date just slipped my mind, i swear. please stay. i don't want to leave you alone if i made you sad. please."
"vernon ..."
"please. i don't want to force you. if you want to leave, i'll accept it, but let me make it up to you. i dont want you to feel like i dont care. i do. i know i dont express it much, that's on me. i'll make it known. i'll show you. i don't want to hurt you again, i-"
he was unable to finish his sentence, now stumbling back due to a sudden weight against him. you, with your arms now wrapped around him as your face nuzzled his neck. he instinctively wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you in as he lowered his head to breathe you in, humming as he felt the relief of having you in his hold.
you pulled away too quickly for his liking, eyes slightly glossy but not enough to consider it worrisome, "i forgive you. i'm sorry, i didn't mean to exaggerate. i did feel neglected, but-"
"but nothing. don't apologize, please. this won't happen again, okay? i love you."
"i love you too," you smiled at him before pausing, "i .. do you wanna come in?", you seemed a bit sheepish, probably feeling awkward at hearing vernon ramble apologies at you for the past five minutes, showing way more emotion than he usually did.
"come in? oh, you're not leaving? wait, don't answer that. yes," he held onto your hand before you could say anything, pulling you in for a quick kiss before leading you into your apartment, all under the promise to make up for his previous carelessness and never make you doubt his affections for you ever again.
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buccini555 · 6 months
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𝐓𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬: "𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮"
⁀➴ Them reacting to you saying "I hate you" after an argument
⌕ H e a d c a n o n s !
ᶻ 𝗓ᵎ 𝐹𝑡. Ran Haitani, Rindou Haitani, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Kakucho Hitto, Izana Kurokawa, Shinichiro Sano, Inui Seishu and Kokonoi Hajime
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𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢
Ran would be surprised and immediately remain completely silent, he would ignore you and look at you with a look of utter disappointment.
"So that's it? You hate me? Okay, just leave me." He would say in a serious tone, pretending not to be hurt in a certain way and would definitely shrug his shoulders, ignoring you after your spoke.
"Think better before you take out your stupid anger on me, understood?" Ran wouldn't listen to your apologies or any other speech coming from you, he would remain rude to you for a long period of time and would certainly become even more absent.
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𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢
Momentarily, Rindou just wouldn't take your sentence seriously, despite that, that doesn't mean that hearing those words didn't hurt him in some way.
"You have to control your fucking emotions before you say something you'll regret later." Immediately, Rindou would respond to your speech, looking away and shaking his head in denial, it was undeniable that Rindou was totally disappointed with such an attitude coming from you.
"... Leave me alone." He would ask politely before he lost control with you and worsened the current situation between the two of you.
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𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐨
Haruchiyo would ignore you talk, or at least try to ignore it, hearing you say that you sincerely hated him broke his heart, but he would never show any feelings about it.
"I'm not going to stand here and listen to you talk shit." Sanzu wouldn't hesitate to leave to avoid even more confusion, he honestly didn't intend to end up losing control with you.
"...You've already hurt me enough." It would be the last thing Haruchiyo would say to you before walking away, even if you apologized or wanted him to stay, Sanzu would ignore you, even if he didn't want to, he would leave you for a while.
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𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐨
Kakucho always did his best to avoid fights and would never say rude things to you, when he heard you say that you hated him, the taller felt his world collapse at the same moment, despite everything, Kakucho hid how sensitive he was, but, at that moment, all he could do was cry.
"I-I'm sorry for making you hate me, I never wanted that..." As soon as he calmed down a little, he would say completely disappointed in having let things get to this state.
After this fact, Kakucho would remain hurt for a long time, no matter how much he understood you or accepted your apology, he would continue to feel that feeling of not feeling loved and being unable to make someone really love him.
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𝐈𝐳𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚
Izana would be deeply hurt and disbelieve your words, as soon as he heard you, he would laugh nervously, but as soon as he realized how serious your words were, the smile would give way to a serious expression.
"I hate myself too, do you think I would really be affected by your stupid hatred for me?" Izana would say, screaming, he wouldn't even be able to look at you, he would just remain brooding away inside because he thought that, in a way, he had caused such behavior in you.
"Since you hate me, go ahead! Leave! Leave me like everyone else did!" It would be Izana's final speech, he really wouldn't accept your apology.
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𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨
Shinichiro would look at you with a look of disapproval and sadness, he wouldn't even be able to believe what he was hearing.
"... You hate me?" He would say, still in denial, the fight would end instantly, Shinichiro wouldn't even want to hear you anymore, he would really believe those words and that would hurt.
"I would never say something like that to you, never! Do you know the pain of hearing that? You'll never know that." After completing his speech, it would take you a while to see him again, Shinichiro would definitely leave you there, alone, because he was hurt and also to get away from all those fights.
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𝐈𝐧𝐮𝐢 𝐒𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐮
He would be completely disbelieved in your statement even though he knew that the fight was becoming unbearable, he really didn't expect that from you.
"Y-you hate me?" He would question, with teary eyes and a trembling and low voice, as soon as you finished speaking, Inupi would immediately look away and try to hide how much it affected him.
"I'm sorry for making you hate me, it won't happen again." Before you could say anything or apologize, Inui would say, walking away and going to be alone for a while, at that moment, he would believe your words, making him feel guilty for not being able to avoid all that fight.
After a while of trying to convince himself that you just said that in a moment of anger, Inui would try to forget the whole mess.
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𝐊𝐨𝐤𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐞
Kokonoi would be silent as soon as you made your speech, hearing you say that you hate him would really hurt him, despite that, Koko wouldn't show how sad and disappointed he would feel, on the contrary, he would act as if nothing had happened.
"You hate me? Okay, I'll remember that." He would say in the calmest tone he could and give a wry smile.
"I'm sorry, but I can't say the same to you." Kokonoi would walk away from you and not say anything else after that, ignoring any apology or anything like that, deep down, he would honestly be holding himself back from crying.
Even if everything was fine, Koko would definitely hold a certain grudge against you, moreover, he would start to think that you really hate him, making him become a little cold and distant.
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purple-babygirl · 2 months
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don't call me daddy IV
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x little!f!reader
Word count: 5,540
Summary : In a world where littles are openly themselves, they volunteer to help and be helped by willing caregivers. In spite of himself, Bucky finds himself stuck with one and to keep the nagging away, he has to learn how to be around her with everything that that entails.
Warnings: crying, a flu, coughing, shots, age regression
A/N: forgive me for the lateness with this one. i was very sick, like bed-ridden sick, and when i got a little better i got to writing right away. please be kind to me with this one, i'm still high on meds:" please enjoy xx💜💜
~
“Call me daddy.”
“What?” She was suddenly pulling away as if Bucky was made up of scorching metal.
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” He asked with a small smile, wiping any residue tears on his face.
What she wanted… he was only suggesting that she called him daddy because he thought it was what she wanted? Was this his way of returning the favor because she hugged him after a nightmare?
Now she was really hurt.
Bucky was unknowingly emphasizing the fact that he didn’t want this type of relationship, didn’t want her. He was only doing it to show gratitude.
“No.” She shook her head, getting up from the floor.
“No?” Bucky was genuinely confused as he followed her with his eyes.
He thought he was finally making things right, giving her what she wanted.
“I wanna go back.”
“What?!”
“I wanna go back, please take me back.” Her voice wasn’t even sad or frantic, only small and disheartened.
“Back where?! The couch is right there if you wanna go!” Bucky became angry again.
He felt rejected and he felt small. Was it his touch that made her pull back? Was it the daddy thing? Was he so repulsive?
“No, back, out of here.”
“Back where?! It’s the middle of the night!” Bucky raised his voice in frustration, the nightmare nerves barely out of his body.
Has she lost her mind? Why was she acting like this now? What was he supposed to do to please her and her little mind?
“Take me back to Mrs. Morrison,” she insisted calmly as she collected her slippers and stashed them back in her bag.
He looked at her with wide eyes and an open mouth, not getting what happened or where he went wrong.
She wasn’t even tearing up, it was like a switch has flipped inside of her.
“Just— just talk to me, okay? What happened?” Bucky fervently needed her to stop, needed to understand.
“Bucky was right. This isn’t gonna work. Please just take me back.”
Her words reopened Bucky’s wounds that her sweet gestures had once closed. What did she mean “isn’t gonna work”? Was he just deemed irredeemable? Again?
“But why?!”
“I just wanna go back.” Was all she gave him; no explanation and no reasons.
Bucky wouldn’t understand.
“You know what? Fine! I’ll take you back first thing in the morning. Go back to the fucking couch, stay away from me!”
She silently got the wolf stuffie, leaving it on the kitchen counter, and went back, no crying and no trials to correct him on his choice of bad words.
Did she really want to leave? Was she really going to leave him come morning?
~
When it was lit up enough, Bucky went for a run, trying to blow off some steam because he felt like he was about to explode.
Why did he let her in? He shouldn’t have done that. She didn’t deserve to get this close, no one did.
Did he seriously think he was accepted and understood by this stranger after 7 days of time together?
No matter what the purpose she was serving was, she could never understand how hard Bucky had had it.
Still, something kept pulling him to her. Something inside of him didn’t want her to leave him. Not now that he was used to her; that he wanted to be used to her.
It's been only a week and Bucky was ready to give human relationships another chance. She made him feel like healing wasn’t a faraway dream.
He was going to try and talk to her one last time and if she still wanted to leave, he would gladly let her.
When he opened his door, she was dressed and waiting for Bucky on the couch, ready to go.
“So you were serious about leaving?” Bucky asks as he kicks his shoes off.
“Yes. Bucky is gonna take me back, right?”
“If that’s really what you want?”
She didn’t trust her voice so she just nodded.
“Why?”
“Just because.”
“Talk to me like I’m talking to you!” Bucky snapped.
She remained silent this time, not ready for a fight.
“Why do you wanna leave? What did I do?”
“Bucky didn’t do anything.”
“Then what is it?!”
“That is it.”
“What?!”
“Bucky didn’t do anything. Bucky didn’t even look at Doll’s file. Bucky never even called Doll Doll.” Only now did her tears come back, rolling down her cheeks with ease as she spilled out all that she’s been holding inside of her, “Bucky never wanted Doll.”
“I— I didn’t have time to look at the file. We were in a hurry so I picked the first one in the batch!” Bucky tried to explain, but quickly realized what he'd said.
A sob escaped her at the revelation that she was picked at random, that it could’ve been anyone else and that he really never wanted her.
“That’s not what I meant. I— listen, at first maybe I didn’t want you, but it’s different now!”
“Bucky never even picked me?” She cried, her broken voice crushing his heart.
“I—”
“Please take me back.” She wiped at her face, trying to steady her breathing.
“But—”
“Please, Bucky, please.”
The way she begged him with teary eyes and a shaky voice made Bucky stand up despite himself to put his shoes back on to take her back.
He might’ve not gotten a chance to explain himself, but he’s done her enough damage and he wasn’t going to continue being the reason she cried when she has been the reason he stopped.
“Let’s go.” Bucky pursed his lips and opened the door for her, her bag in hand, knowing it will never be the same when he came back.
~
“Doll, now that you’re big at least tell me anything, dear. Did he do anything—”
“He didn’t do anything, Mrs. Morrison. I promise you. Bucky was nothing but a gentleman with me.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s nothing. I just think I wasn’t ready. I shouldn’t have listed my little self as ready.” She shook her head with a polite smile.
Mrs. Morrison wasn’t buying it, but she couldn’t push her anymore.
“Alright, dear. I’ll go finish the report so Bucky’s therapist can get her copy in the morning.”
“Mrs. Morrison, please,” she held the older woman’s hand imploringly, “Bucky didn’t do but good. Make sure you’re just to him in your report.”
“Okay, doll. Whatever you say, dear.” She woman shook her head, giving up the argument before standing up and leaving the room.
It wasn’t the full truth, but she did believe she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t going to be ready for a long time, so it was better if she just went back home and let herself be grounded a little.
~
“Please, I need to see her.” Bucky begged in front of Mrs. Morrison’s desk.
“Not before you tell me what you did to her, Mr. Barnes!”
“I— I didn’t do anything.”
“That’s what she said too, but I know it’s not the truth!”
“Wait, what? I— please let me see her.”
“She’s not here, Sergeant Barnes.”
“What? Where is she?”
“Home,” the woman replied shortly, still mad at Bucky.
“I thought that was where they lived?”
The woman shook her head in disappointment, “you never read your copy of the file, did you?”
Bucky remained silent, too embarrassed to speak. Why did everyone keep asking about the damn file!
“No, they don’t live here. She went back to her life at her house.”
“Well, can you give me the address?”
“Of course, not! That’s private information and you two don’t even seem to have ended on good terms!”
“Please? I need to fix this.”
“You already had time to do that, Mr. Barnes.”
“Well… At least give me a chance to apologize.”
“I don’t know.” The woman hesitated.
“Please, I’ll do anything.” Bucky begged sincerely.
“Anything?” Mrs. Morrison smiled suddenly, making Bucky worry a little, but he meant his words nonetheless.
“Anything.”
~
“Corgi, calm down!” Bucky heard her sweet laugh as she approached the dog’s barks.
“You call your corgi Corgi?” He asked her with a smile.
“Bucky, what are you doing here?” Her smile quickly disappeared and a surprised frown replaced it.
“I—”
“Okay, I finished moving the new planters to the right side like you wanted— hello?” The man who cut Bucky off was offering him a hand.
Bucky shook it coldly, his signature frown staring the man down, “hey.”
“I’m Adam,” the man said with a friendly smile.
“Sergeant James Barnes.”
“Bucky, this is Adam, my best friend and neighbor, Adam, this is Bucky… a friend.” She introduced them, not sure of what to say about Bucky.
Meanwhile, Bucky felt something weigh down on him. Was it the fact that he wished she said more than just “a friend”? Was it the presence of this Adam guy? Was that… jealousy?!
“Right, so I’m gonna go now, but call me if you need anything, okay?” Adam said, looking at them both suspiciously.
“I will. Thank you for today, Adam. You’re the best.” She gave the man a hug, smiling from ear to ear as she did it, too.
That was a smile Bucky has never seen.
“I know I know. Bye, Corgi! Bye, Sergeant, nice to meet you!” Adam shouted as he walked out of her porch.
Bucky only nodded even though he knew the man couldn’t see him. He didn’t care if he was rude. Who was that anyway?
She was expecting Bucky to talk when Adam was gone but he just stood there, fiddling with the bag in his hand as he stared at her, so she didn’t say anything either.
She was done initiating. If he came all the way here on his own, he could start a conversation on his own.
“Who was that?”
“Really? You came all the way here to ask me that?”
He stuttered and swallowed, knowing fully well that he had no right to such a question.
“You seem different.”
“You mean big?” She smiled sadly, noticing how much more comfortable Bucky was dealing with her like that.
Bucky nodded guiltily, scratching the back of his head.
“Yeah, I do have a life and responsibilities after all.” She shrugged, gesturing to her house and the puppy by her feet.
She was disappointed to say the least. First, he gave her a terrible week with him, then he returned her and never looked back and now he was on her porch for no clear reason or explanation, questioning her and her life?
Still, she felt a spark of hope in her chest at the fact that he was standing before her. There must’ve been a reason he came and it couldn’t be so he could fight more.
Bucky felt embarrassed, tongue-tied with guilt as he’s forgotten everything he has been wanting to say.
Then the sky started speaking for him, thundering loudly and making her jump with a hand on her heart.
“Oh, it’s gonna rain. Let’s go inside.”
For some reason, he assumed she was talking to the puppy but when she kept looking at him, Bucky gratefully moved his feet.
~
Her house was the epitome of coziness. It was a true home and it was nothing like Bucky’s.
It had actual furniture, colorful pieces he knew were carefully picked. It had wallpaper and picture frames and kitchenware and cute mugs and plates.
Only now did he know how much shit she could’ve given him for the place he made her stay in, but she didn’t.
“Bucky!”
“Yes?”
“I asked about your favorite tea.” She smiled, motioning to a number of varieties on her shelves.
“A coffee would be fine.”
“I’ll just make you earl grey with me.” She shrugged, ignoring his choice for a coffee at this relatively late hour of the evening.
“Hey!”
“It’s my house, my rules, old man!”
Wow! Big her was kind of feisty and it was making Bucky smile.
“What do you have there?” She asked, looking at the small plastic bag that Bucky’s been carrying in his hand.
“Oh, I— this is for you.” He handed her the bag, cheeks burning as he was still brand new when it came to such gestures.
“Oreos! And wolfie!” She called out happily when she looked inside the bag, “thank you so much!” She squeezed the tips of his fingers, smiling at him like he’d gotten her a rare diamond.
When she let go of his hand to open the package and taste the cookies, Bucky felt fear settle in his chest at the idea of having lost her forever.
He watched her try to hide the hug she was giving the white stuffed wolf before slipping it to her curious dog, “careful, Corgi.”
She didn’t lecture or blame him about his treatment of her, yes, nor did she even bring up the week she stayed at his house, but would she be willing to forgive him? Would she give him another chance?
Instead of screaming at him, she was sitting him down on a comfortable couch that had a soft blanket draped over it and serving him tea and cake. What kind of angel was she?
“If you don’t like it, I’ll make you coffee. But taste it first,” she set the tray with tea cups and a plate with a couple of cake slices on the little wooden coffee table and Bucky knew the smell of this tray was the only thing missing from her living room.
Now it was all perfect. It suited her so well.
“I made lime key cake this morning so you’re in luck. It goes really well with earl grey,” she told him, trying to get him to talk, to tell her why he was at her place a week later at 9 in the evening.
But he only nodded.
She didn’t push him. She has done enough coaxing and enough pushing. She didn’t have to do that anymore. If Bucky wanted to talk, he would have to talk on his own.
But he didn’t.
An hour later, she was getting sleepy and the rain was pouring even harder.
“I— I better go.” He stood up, patting his pockets nervously as if to make sure his belongings were in place.
So he came all the way here for nothing? He found her house and rode on his motorcycle all the way here for nothing?
“No way, you can’t drive your motor cycle in this rain!”
“I’m a super soldier, I don’t get sick,” Bucky argued with a smile, heart swelling at the idea that she still cared for him.
“I don’t care. The roads are slippery. It’s dangerous!”
“But—”
“No buts. You can have my bed, let me show you the room,” she said, never giving him space for a reply as she led the way to her bedroom.
“You really don’t have to. I can take the couch.” Or the floor
“The couch is mine. Corgi cries at night and doesn’t like to sleep alone. He’s still just a puppy.”
“Why don’t you just move his crate to your bedroom?”
“Because there’s a system in this house, Sergeant. We’re disciplined people.” She smiled playfully, “good night.”
And just like that, Bucky was alone in her bedroom, with her bed and sheets and blankets, where all the pillows smelled like her hair shampoo and the air was light and sweet. He was in heaven.
Bucky took his jacket off, draping it over the armchair by her vanity and her perfumes caught his eye.
He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t help himself as he picked up the first bottle and neared it to his nose.
Oh, lord, was this sexy. He imagined himself eating her up if he was to smell this perfume on her skin. It was captivating and it went well with her playful grown up personality.
He tried another bottle and it was a softer scent that he knew all too well. It was the one she wore when she was staying at his house. It smelt angelic, soft and welcoming.
Bucky had to stop himself from going down the line of perfumes because he didn’t think he could keep going.
He’d better go to bed and try to catch a few hours of sleep before the mind attacks started.
Grabbing a pillow that smelled like her, Bucky made himself as comfortable as could be on the wooden floor next to her bed, draping her overly soft blanket on his body.
~
“You call it a disciplined house but you don’t even have a dining table,” Bucky teased as he helped her bring the rest of the plates to the coffee table.
He was right actually. She lied last night. She could easily take Corgi to the bedroom with her, but what kind of hospitality would that be to give Bucky the couch when it was his first time visiting?
“At least my coffee table has space for more than 2 noodle cups,” she teased right back, hardly biting a smile.
Bucky raised an eyebrow at her sassiness, smiling like an idiot at how easy she made everything.
Talking was easy around her. Existing was easy around her. Breathing was easy around her. And oh did he miss her.
“So…” she trailed, pouring orange juice in Bucky’s glass.
She couldn’t stay silent anymore. She had to understand why Bucky found her house and came to her after he’d clearly proven he didn’t want her. She wanted and tried to be the bigger person, but if he had something to say, she was ready to hear it now.
“I— I came here to say I’m sorry,” Bucky finally said the words that have been sitting on the back of his tongue for so long.
“Bucky…” she locked her eyes with his for a second, unable to read him, “you didn’t have to come all the way here. I didn’t tell Mrs. Morrison anything.”
The way she reassured him broke his heart. It was as if she wholeheartedly believed that all Bucky cared about was the final report.
But he cared about so much more. He cared about fixing this. He cared about her.
“I know. I did.”
“What?!”
“I told her everything.”
“Bucky— why?”
“I had to make it right.”
“Well, what did she say?” She chewed her lower lip nervously, worried everything has been ruined for Bucky.
“She made me serve a few hours at the institution and only when she got everyone’s approval did she agree to give me your address.”
“Everyone’s approval of what?” She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
“Of my storytelling skills,” Bucky replied proudly, putting some cheese on her plate for her when he noticed her freeze.
“Your storytelling— what?!” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, a huge smile breaking on her face.
“I spent a few nights reading bedtime stories to the residents there and I’ll have you know I did a pretty good job, though most of them wanted lullabies so I stole some of yours—”
“Hold on! You, Bucky Barnes, read bedtime stories and sang lullabies to littles at the institution?”
“Yes, I did.” Bucky nodded with a shrug.
“You did all of this so you could have my address?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I missed you, doll.”
“Doll?” Her eyes instantly teared up at the sole use of the name coming from him.
“And to tell you that I got to meet everyone that was available at the same time you were and none of them could ever compare. They’re all amazing people, but none of them made me feel like you’ve made me feel in that short week,” Bucky admitted softly, eyes hesitant to leave his fingers.
“I was terrible to you and you didn’t deserve any of it. I’m sorry. I know now that I should’ve been better.”
“Bucky, it’s okay,” she said with a content smile, simply satisfied with his presence as she passed him the bread. That apology was genuinely enough for her.
“No, doll, it’s not. I— I did the opposite of everything a caregiver should’ve done. It's just… you made me nervous, scared.” Bucky admitted.
“I scared you?” She scoffed in surprise. She wasn’t expecting this one.
“Yes. The way you were fully yourself, the way you weren’t afraid to show it, the way you did the effort to relieve yourself of whatever you were suffering from, it all scared me. How you openly cried when you needed to. It scared me because I didn’t know how to be like you. I didn’t know how to choose trust and kindness again after everything that had happened to me. Your courage scared me.”
“Oh, Bucky.” Tears rolled down her face as she desperately felt the need to hold him and kiss every inch of him better, “why didn’t you talk to me? I would’ve understood.”
“I tried… that day… but talking about it made me wanna close up on myself even more. It made me more scared. It wasn’t easy. It isn’t easy. And I can’t help it,” Bucky’s voice trembled as he fought his own tears.
He couldn’t believe he said those words out loud to someone else.
She left her seat and went to sit next to Bucky on the couch, her hands finding his and holding onto them for dear life.
“But when I came home to an empty living room after dropping you off at the institution, I knew what I'd lost. I realized what an asshole I’ve been to you. And I missed you. I missed you so much when I closed the door and you weren’t on the couch looking at me,” he poured his heart out to her with tears in his eyes.
She squeezed his hand more, trying to hug his fingers with hers but they were too short to fully cover his hands.
“You don’t have to give me another chance, but I felt like I could’ve died if I didn’t tell you how sorry I was and am. I’m sorry I didn’t give myself time to understand you and appreciate you for everything that you were, doll. I’m sorry I was so stupid and let you slip away from my hands. I’m sorry I was undeserving of your kindness and softness and love,” Bucky told her with tears pouring down his face, matching hers as she finally got to listen to all that he had to say.
“I really am sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to be a good daddy to you and I’m sorry I didn’t try to learn. It’s all my fault because you, doll, deserve someone who would bust their ass trying for you,” Bucky sighed, “but if you’d let me, I’ll spend as much time as you’ll allow me doing that.”
“Thank you for finding me.” She threw herself in his arms and Bucky felt his soul come back to him as he held her tight to his body.
“Thank you for welcoming me back in despite everything I’ve put you through. I know I don’t deserve it.” Bucky squeezed her closer, the smell of her hair calming his senses.
“You’re welcome.” She pulled back to wipe his tears away, giving him a smile prettier than anything he’s ever seen, “now let’s eat before the eggs go cold.” She wiped her eyes quickly before grabbing the spoon and putting some eggs on Bucky’s plate.
“Does that smile mean you forgive me, doll?” Bucky asked hopefully.
“I forgive you, Sarge.” She smiled at him, what was in her heart showing in her eyes.
“You won’t regret it,” he promised, putting some food in his mouth to stop any upcoming tears.
They ate silently in peace for a second before Bucky spoke out.
“Seriously though, who was that Adam guy?!”
“Way to ruin a moment, Bucky,” she teased.
But Bucky didn’t smile. He remained silent waiting for her answer with a tiny frown.
“I told you he’s my best friend and he lives next door.”
 Bucky’s frown deepened slightly. So that man got to see her every day huh?
“With his wife,” she added, biting back a smile as she watched his face relax.
“Don’t toy with me like that, doll.”
“I couldn’t help it. This is all new to me and I’m having fun!”
“Does he come here a lot?”
“Yes, Bucky. It’s what friends do, they visit,” she laughed.
“I don’t see Sam that often and we’re fine.” He shrugged unconvincingly, making her laugh more.
“He’s a good man, you’ll come to like him. Plus, he helped me a lot those past weeks and took care of my garden and Corgi while I was away so I owe him.”
“So I’m seeing a farmer now?” Bucky teased.
“Oh look who’s not so quiet anymore!” She teased back with a giggle, “at least my fridge never runs out of tomatoes.”
“Can I ask you something?” Bucky asked, his face serious again.
She nodded in reply, a smile gracing her patient features.
“Why did it bother you so much when I told you to call me daddy?”
She hummed, letting go of her fork.
“It’s okay if you don’t wanna answ—”
“It made me feel like you were returning a favor. Doing something because you felt like you had to do it, like it was the right thing to do, but not because you really wanted it. Yes, I wanted to call you daddy with my whole heart, but only if you wanted it too. It hurt because at the time I knew you still hadn’t accepted me for who I was and was just saying that so you could repay me for the hug I was giving you.”
“I’m so sorry.” Bucky shock his head in remorse, “I will never understand how you managed to put up with me for a whole week.”
“It’s because I know what it’s like to feel unwanted, Bucky. I know what it feels like to be unloved and unaccepted, especially by those who should give you unconditional love.”
“Family?” Bucky asked with a sad smile.
She nodded with a similar smile, “I know what it’s like to be more than your pain and anger with others only seeing the snapping and frowning. Little me doesn’t want anyone else to feel unloved like that because she knows how bad it all is. So she gives. She’s patient and she’s kind and sometimes I don’t think I could’ve accessed that part of myself if it wasn’t for her.”
“How so?”
“Grown ups are more cautious because they always have the consequences to things like vulnerability right in front of their eyes. We’re more likely to be afraid to show our hearts because we know we could get hurt bad because of it. Little me isn’t scared of that. She wakes up brand new every day. She wears her heart on her sleeve and trusts her love to do the magic.”
“You’re an amazing person.” Bucky raised her hand to his lips to press a timid kiss without much thought, “I guess I have a lot to learn from you, doll.”
“Don’t say stuff like that!” She whined playfully, cheeks going hot as she turned away shyly, “plus, do you have a death wish?” She raised a playful eyebrow.
“It’s true though— what?”
“I didn’t give you permission to kiss me,” she teased, reminding him of the time she kissed his cheek on her first day at his house.
Bucky smiled sheepishly, whispering out an apology even though he knew she was joking.
Bucky stopped himself when she started coughing abruptly.
She’s been coughing a little here and there since morning, but he didn’t think anything of it.
She shook her head, still coughing as she ran to the bathroom, needing to find any sort of cold medicine. She knew what this was.
Bucky hurried behind her, “what’s wrong?”
In a second, she was bending forward, coughing her heart out.
“Are you okay?!”
She shook her head again, trying to calm down, “I thought it was just a sore throat but it’s getting worse.”
“Let’s get you to the doctor,” Bucky said, worry eating away inside his chest as he watched her cough more.
He quickly grabbed her jacket and keys, leading her out to her car.
~
“It’s because I let you sleep on the couch, isn’t it? You got cold,” Bucky said, running his fingers through his hair nervously as he paced around the room.
He hasn’t stopped blaming himself since they’d returned from the doctor’s. She caught a bad flu and Bucky quickly believed it was his fault.
“No, Bucky. It’s not that.”
“You don’t have to defend me, doll. It’s because of me. I’ve managed to hurt you again. And I don’t even use beds. I should’ve never let you sleep out here.”
“Hey! Calm down please! It’s not you... It was me.” She released a sigh, biting her lip.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when the rain got even worse after you went to bed. I thought I’d come out and cover the motorcycle so that it wouldn’t get all muddy and you’d have a hard time cleaning it,” she explained, fiddling with her fingers.
“That’s still because of me,” Bucky sighed.
“Come on, it’s not like you made me!” Her hoarse voice tried to reassure.
Bucky only ran his fingers through his messy hair again, not knowing what to say or do to make this one right.
“Bucky, please, I’m sick. All I want is for you to stay beside me and not blame yourself.” Her frown was back to her beautiful face and Bucky didn’t like it, “can you do that for me?”
He didn’t like how sick and scratchy her voice sounded either so he wasn’t about to make talk more with a throat like that.
“I’ve already proven I suck at taking care of you, doll,” Bucky chuckled sadly.
“Do you want forgiveness or not?” She joked.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’m right here.”
“Is it dangerous for you though? I don’t want you to get it too.”
“I can’t get sick, remember?” Bucky smiled, rubbing her back lightly, “I’m your nurse now.”
“Is that so?” She giggled.
“Yeah.” He nodded confidently.
“You’re definitely not dressed for it,” she teased, giving him her tongue.
“Oh, are you into that kinda thing, doll?” He raised an eyebrow, a playful smile she has never seen before on his pink lips.
“Bucky!” She squealed, hiding her face with the covers, making Bucky laugh.
The sound was heaven to her ears and despite being awfully sick, she couldn’t wish for a better outcome for Bucky’s visit.
“Shit, here it comes again,” she gulped before starting another fit of harsh coughing.
“Bad word,” he whispered to her, making her smile tiredly as she continued coughing.
~
“I don’t wanna go,” she whined as Bucky gently forced her arm inside her jacket.
“We have to. You need your shots to get better.” Bucky covered her head with the hood of her jacket to make sure she was warm before leading her outside.
“But shots hurt,” she whined more with teary eyes.
“I’ll be right there, remember?”
“That’s not gonna do anything!” She whined further.
“Hey!” Bucky pretended to be hurt as he helped her inside the car.
She sighed with a grateful smile, “fine, hugs or I don’t go.”
“Hugs it is.” Bucky smiled back, taking seat next to her before starting the car.
~
“No, no, no, please. I’m not ready, I don’t want it. Give me pills instead, give me pills,” she cried in Bucky’s chest as she saw the doctor get the shot ready.
“Doll, it’s okay, I promise. I got you,” Bucky said, feeling as helpless as ever.
He wished he could get the shots for her, but it wasn’t possible. He could feel something different about her. She looked like she was slipping into her little headspace and it made Bucky nervous, oh so nervous, that he might mess up and not be able to deal with her again.
She barely calmed down enough for Bucky to help her small hands lower her pants just enough for the doctor to have space to push the needle in.
She moaned in pain as she hid her face in Bucky’s chest, crying for real when she felt the strong medicine inside the needle spread inside her.
“It stings. It stings bad,” she sobbed, hands clutching Bucky’s shirt as he covered her behind again and made sure she was properly covered.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. We’re going home now, it’s over,” Bucky cooed, rubbing and patting her back with his big hand.
“It hurts, daddy,” she sniveled in his ear and Bucky froze.
Those innocent teary eyes looking up at him like that made him feel a lot of things. But most importantly, they made him feel like he could do this. He could take care of this sweet girl without messing up this time. Her love would show him how.
“I got you, doll. Daddy’s got you.”
~
part V
~
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Note
Matilda being so in love with Logan when she’s really young that Lando has to be stern with him and everyone laughing cause he is never usually serious
"Daddy! Since you and Logan are not driving, can we go see him, please?", Matilda wondered. She heard this morning that Williams were also having their reserve driver doing the Free Practice session, and since she knew her daddy wasn't driving either, it would be the perfect time considering she knew better than to wander around the paddock on her own.
"Am I really giving in to our daughter's driver crush because I can't say no to her? Yes, that's right", Lando whispered in your ear before picking her up, "yes, princess, let's go!", he smiled, kissing her cheek and leaving you with Fraser and a sleeping Charlotte.
Walking into the Williams garage with his little girl, Logan spotted the little Nottis straight away, "hey, Tilly! How are you? It's been a while since I've seen you", the american driver smiled.
"I'm good, and you, Logan? I made a drawing for you", she fished it out of the front pocket of her dungarees, unfolding it to reveal a drawing of a blue car and who Logan assumed was himself.
"Thanks, Tilly! I'm going to find somewhere safe to keep this!", he smiled, letting her explain all the details she had drawn.
"I'll go look for a folder or something to keep it safe", one of the Williams staff said, "I'll go with you!", Matilda said, "I'll be right back, Logan!", she noted as she left Lando and Logan.
"You can't ever break her heart, you hear me?", Lando stated much to the amusement of everyone around him who heard the serious tone, "which at this age translates in not waving at her and crashing your car or not getting a good position - she understands enough of how the grid works enough to get sad whenever you don't get a good position, so that's a no".
Logan felt somewhat intimidated from his tone alone, "you do realize some of those things are a bit outside of my control, right? I can't make the car a rocketship if it wasn't built that way", he reasoned.
Lando knew what it was to have a car you wished would be faster, "don't break her heart, understood?".
"Yes, sir", Logan said before Matilda pulled on his hand once she got back, "Lucy got a folder so you can save the drawing, yay!", she cheered.
(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)
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yanderestarangel · 5 months
Text
HEADKANONS MK1 - TRIO LIN KUEI + FRIEND!READER | PART 2 - AFTER BI HAN'S BETRAYAL .
A/N: This is a continuation of this post here, you don't need to read it, but it's good to give some context.
TW: afab reader, smut, angst, dark!bi han, nsfw, plot follows the canon line of mk1 (with the ending of tomas, kuai liang and bi han), tomas x reader, bi han x reader, soft!dom bi han, v!sex, oral (f!re), temperature!play.
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✧ ENDING 1 | STAY WITH KUAI LIANG AND TOMAS VRABADA
The news that bi han had become a tyrant and had betrayed lin kuei values ​​came as a shock to you. Seeing Kuai Liang and Tomas with looks of anger and disappointment broke your heart - mainly due to the fact that they packed all their personal belongings in a hurry, afraid of what might happen if Bi Han found them there after the fight they had.
You didn't know what to think at that moment, it seemed like the weather had frozen, your knees felt weak thinking that Bi Han, the grand master who welcomed you, pampered you and made you feel loved... He had become a monster.
Kuai Liang reached out to you, telling you that he would form another clan. "-Come with me and Tomas, let's be great... Without bi han and his insanity for power." the pyromancer looked at you expectantly, along with Tomas, who placed his hand on your shoulder, while smiling slightly at you. "-Come with us dear, I promise we will protect you from our brother's wrath, I know he is important to you, it hurts both of us too but..." Vrbada pauses for a while, thinking about the harsh words his older brother he had told him at Liu Kang Temple, hours before. "-But he's not the same anymore..."
You felt butterflies in your stomach, but you made the decision to go with the two - after all, they were yours for many years, you met Kuai Liang first, but your heart was still heavy for Bi Han - The three of you left at dawn, without doing anything, no noise or attracting attention, but you knew there was someone watching you, the air was freezing, and you knew it was sub zero in the distance, but he just had a look... Sad? Disappointment perhaps? Small tears could be seen, but he pushed them away as he watched you walk away from him, the grandmaster would blame everything but you. "-It was Kuai Liang and Tomas' fault... I'm sure... You wouldn't abandon me willingly... Right, my bunny?" Bi Han whispered to himself, trying to contain the discomfort that haunted his chest, returning to his quarters... He wasn't going to give up on you, but for now, he wasn't going to do anything, waiting for the perfect opportunity to take what was his by right... You.
You, Kuai and Tomas met Harumi, and it hurt a little to see your best friend leave you a little aside for being in love with someone else, but you understood that Scorpion would also have to have a love life. You and Tomas kept seeing the couple from afar, while smiling at seeing Liang so in love with her - even naming the new Shiray Ryu clan after her - with that, you and the smoke ninja became closer... A lot closer.
Vrbada started giving you gifts, asking you out, he was courting you little by little, trying to move from just friendship for many years to something more. After all, he always liked you romantically but never had the courage to say something, he asked Kuai Liang and even Harumi for some advice, which motivated him to speak up and confess his feelings for you.
But it was little Hanzo who made everything work out between you two, on one training day you saw him pull your shirt and point at Tomas, saying loudly: "-(Y/N) Tomas likes you! Because Don't you two stay together?" Smoke blushed deeply feeling exposed, but grateful to see your smile at him while you yourself asked him out that night. He was a blushing mess as he stuttered, handing you a bouquet of flowers, he was totally dressed up when he picked you up at home, wearing light colored formal clothes that hugged his muscles.
The night was pleasant, with Tomas trying to say everything he felt, everything he kept close to his chest during years of friendship, he knew that you were still thinking about everything that happened in the lin kuei, but that you needed to move on. "-I always liked you darling... Your smile, the nights you slept between me and Kuai Liang, I was afraid of suffocating you sometimes, you know?" Vrbada smiled amusedly, taking your hands and giving each one a chaste kiss, massaging them with his thumb in circular movements. "-I promise that if you give me a chance, I will be the best partner for you (Y/N)... I know I've been your best friend for years, but, I want to be more, much more, stay with me, let's go try a new life... Together." He looked directly into your eyes, the same eyes that always lit up your day like the bluest sky, as you finally felt the Slav's lips press against yours, the moon illuminated you both and your worries were gone... Even if momentarily.
And this would obviously end on your bed, with Tomas on top of you covering your mouth so you wouldn't make any noise, his cock would plunge slowly and difficultly into your tight pussy, while he moaned hoarsely in your ear. "-Fuck-! Dear, stop squeezing me so hard, you're fucking gripping me... F-Fuck your pussy feels so good on my dick..."
Another thing that surprised you was how submissive Smoke was in bed, always asking 'please' to cum inside or for you to let him cum. He would cry like hell if he got overstimulated, babbling in his mother tongue as he cummed every last drop of cum in you. Vrbada enjoys just seeing your pleasure, watching you ride his face, while moaning his name loudly like a mantra, the poor man is already going to cum and whimper that he needs your pussy on him immediately - it was a pleasant surprise to see your best friend like that - especially how he liked to be praised while fucking you, looking directly at your face, calling him a "good boy" makes him come immediately inside you, while he whimpered and said "fuck" repeatedly with his mind broken with too much pleasure to be the rational ninja he always was.
Kuai Liang will smile at the two of you from afar, wanting to have a celebratory dinner to celebrate his brother's success and your passion - which practically every Shiray Ryu heard through Tomas' groans -, but don't be fooled, from afar, you could feel a cold look and now, cruel, Bi Han, he was furious and now more than ever he was going to take you from his brother's arms as a form of revenge for both of you, because now, the grand master was broken at the sight of the way you gave yourself up to Smoke, he wouldn't show any pity, and he would do whatever it took to make you see your mistake even if it meant killing everyone in his path, and that included everyone, even his own brothers, he would catch you whether you want it or not. But in the present, you were happy to be with Tomas, without knowing the troubled future that Bi Han planned for you...
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✧ ENDING 2 - STAY WITH BI HAN
You couldn't believe it when you saw Bi Han come back and quickly change everything in the structures of the Lin Kuei clan, he was ruder, colder, but he tried to be as gentle as possible with you, as he always was and tried. You asked him about Kuai and Tomas, which made the grandmaster wrinkle his nose and say with contempt that they had betrayed him, hadn't followed his orders, and that now it was just the two of you against the world.
You knew that Bi Han was lying, but you felt the need to continue on his side, perhaps, with the false hope of making him see that Liu Kang was not the enemy of the Lin Kuei, that your clan served the earthly plane and I didn't need to dominate him. But, Bi Han was blinded by power, but he still wanted to have you around, he loved you and for years you were and were the only person who was closest to him - he didn't trust anyone like he trusted you, not even Sektor -, however this made you have to swear loyalty to the grand master and abandon your best friends. "-Good choice, I knew you were smarter than them... then lets go and make history my angel. Together, we will bring glory to the clan, and power to ourselves." Bi Han says as he walks in front of you to the Lin Kuei headquarters, while he held you tightly, as if he was afraid of losing you at any moment. "-After this war is over, we should go to my little sanctuary at the top of the mountain and stay there for a few days - just me, you, and nature..." he whispered in your ear, taking you to his room, which would now be yours too.
You never thought that Bi Han saw you as a potential love or partner, but from the way he treated you now - whispering sweet and possessive things in your ear, his big cold hands kneading the flesh of your hips lightly, the warm shower of herbs that he prepared just for you... It was obvious that he had feelings stored up for all the years of your friendship - "-Make yourself comfortable while I prepare everything else..." he soon takes you to the center of his bed , as he did rarely in the times when he was still your friend, he was still your bi han... But, he still loved you, he loved you more than you thought. "-You know that I don't just see you as a friend, right? All these years that were me, you and..." He pauses and a long sigh comes out of his lungs, as he looks at his hands, while He remembered his brothers but pushed away those thoughts of "weakness". "-Anyway... I always saw you as more than a future right-hand man for me, more than a friend, you understand, don't you my dear?" Bi Han kisses your neck, licking the drops of water that were still there. "-Just give yourself to me, let me make you my king/queen, you and I will be great, I promise no one will hurt you..."
Bi Han would be gentle with you, making you as comfortable as possible, even if he saw the worry in your eyes because of Vrbada and Liang, he would just bend down and give kisses to your clit, licking the sensitive expanse of your pussy, making you moan and arch your body for more contact with his skin. "-Yes... Just like that... I always knew you were meant for me... Since the first time we met my brother... I always loved you (Y/N)." With one hand firmly holding the waist, ensuring no slipping occurs during passionate thrusts; another arm around your neck, lightly choking just enough to make those beautiful sounds escape your lips even louder, now giving him perfect control over the pace and depth, fucking your pussy with longing and relief, relief of finally having you. have it just for him. "-Take it all. Show me how much you want my cock... Let's make up for lost time, yes, be my good boy/girl..." He moaned and growled in your ear, as he watched your face closely. "-Look at me when you cum- fuck I love you so much, I swear I'll kill anyone who dares take you from me." the grand master made a point of marking you visibly for everyone to see.
If Tomas and Kuai dare to look for you, Bi Han will show no mercy, he has become increasingly paranoid in fear of losing you and if one of them dares to take you to the shiray ryu he will show all the fury he has saved in years. You will be respected inside and outside the lin kuei, being the partner of the grand master, the second person with more power than sub zero himself.
However, you will live only for him, you will live only with him, not that that is a problem, after all Bi Han makes a point of spoiling you, jewelry, treasures or anything you want is yours... Just one word and he will destroy and rebuild the world just to see you smile, he loves you and is completely obsessed with you... so you will just deal with it.
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©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023
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kysuguru · 9 months
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dear mother — stsg x fem!reader
synopsis : you’ve finally enrolled into jujutsu tech, sad thing is, you’re totally clueless.
includes / cw : emotionally abusive mother
all mine masterlist
a /n : ch1 of my “all mine” series!!!
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"i'm ogawa [name]. i'm from sendai japan. please take care of me."
you bow politely. smiling at the tiny class of three as you rise, posture nervous and stiff.
"if i knew there was someone new i would've thrown a welcome party!" a white haired boy who's eyes are protected by circular black glasses exclaims excitedly, a smile big on his lips. you admit you're a bit intimidated. the idea of a party for you seems a bit over the top, though.
a boy on his left scoffs almost affectionately, the soft look he sends to his counterpart familiar to you. you always looked at the street cats like that, your mother as well (you try not to think about it). he has a bang over his left eye, you wonder if someone has ever tried to tuck it behind his ear.
"there's no need for a party. my arrival can't be that exciting," you chuckle shyly.
they all analyze you. so you settle with looking at your shuffling shoes.
"she speaks so formally." the gojo boy leans over with a hand cupped around his mouth as he whispers to his best friend, causing you to look up. it's a bit silly that he's acting as if he's whispering a secret even though everyone can hear him.
his friend eyes you apologetically.
there's another girl, the only one who seems actually interested as she stares you down. you flinch as you catch her gaze. her hair is short, in a brown bob that frames her face perfectly. her bangs are tucked behind her ear and there's a mole you catch on her face that convinces you she's model worthy.
other than your mother you've never thought a woman was so pretty.
"so new girl, what's your cursed technique."
new girl.. but i swore i said my name. did i not?
ignoring the white haired boy's lack of manners was easy, since you weren't all that aware he was being rude.
"i actually... don't know."
all three students chorused at the same time.
"hah?"
scouted? me? when you heard such a thing, you were confused and honestly, really surprised. you weren't talented by any means. outside of studying you didn't have much going on. not only that, but your mother kept you in the house a lot. so to hear of someone from jujutsu tech finding you worthy enough to attend had you blinking, astonished.
you were aware of what jujutsu was, cursed techniques and all of that jazz, but your knowledge was still limited beyond that. your mom was adamant on you not attending for reasons she refused to tell. obviously you didn't push. you never liked seeing her with a temper.
the man who recommended you was named yaga masamichi. he'd taken note of the significant amount of cursed energy you possessed when passing by you on your way to school. your family weren't jujutsu sorcerers from what you were aware of — you honestly weren't even sure that there were jujutsu sorcerers or people like you until now. but you'd never put it past your mom to hide something like that from you.
she always kept jujutsu related talk under wraps, only giving you little information to quell your curiosity.
you didn't even know what your cursed technique was. or if you even had one. even though you tried to understand why she does what she does, it still felt very lonely — seeing such heinous creatures and having to pretend they didn't exist for your own safety.
if it weren't for the fact that you instinctively learned to control your cursed energy output, you could've been in serious danger.
and although it was painful to go through such things alone — not being able to confide in a single person — you understood why your mother did it. all she wanted to do was keep you safe.
and even if you followed all of her rules of no jujutsu to a T, you couldn't help the sensation of excitement and relief knowing that there were so many other people out there just like you. a school of them, even.
you wanted badly to be upset with your mother, the fact that she knew about all of this and kept it from you. but even the thought of being angry at her when all she wanted was to protect you had you pushing down those foolish feelings.
other than secretive, your mother was also very stubborn. a trait that you always admired until this very moment.
she argued that you didn't belong into a school that was practically a death trap for young teens. always listening to your mother like an obedient puppy, you looked down at the floor, preparing for the inevitable rejection, expression sad as you shuffled your shoes alongside your mothers that were planted firm on the ground — you resisted the urge to distance yourself from her.
your eyes drifted to the shoes that were yaga's hoping no one would question your silence (they never did).
your mother wasn't a bad person. never that. but sometimes you couldn't help but get upset at the decisions she made in your stead. you wouldn't say that she didn't consider you, but sometimes it kinda felt that way.
"i get where you're coming from. jujutsu tech is a dangerous place and i hate to bring such young talented kids into such risks. but you have to understand your daughters side," he gestured towards you, your mothers eyes dropping to your head that perked up before they glared back at yaga.
"how do you think she feels knowing she has the opportunity to branch out and gain knowledge about these abilities. do you think she wants to stay ignorant because you do?"
your ears rang as the last sentence was spoken.
"do you think she wants to stay ignorant because you do?"
it resonated with you in a way you couldn't comprehend. all you could do was clutch your chest as a foreign feeling of relief left your choked up throat in a bated breath. the exhale feeling as if you were being freed from something. being seen.
"[name], my sweet darling baby," she caressed the top of your head. it was instinct to lean into her touch, even though at the moment you couldn't sort out how you felt towards her.
she's protecting you. the words whisper in your ear, like a disease that is incurable, like a predator that sinks its fangs and refuses to let go.
"mommy wants you to stay home with her. please consider it. it's so dangerous out there, and i really don't want you to get hurt," she cooed. it made you feel sick and you hated not knowing why. even though her words were meant to console you, they only made you want to run.
your eyes were glued to the dirty mat that you and your mother refused to clean, maybe because it was the most familiar thing in this constant changing house. there were five pairs of shoes, you, yaga, and mother and two unworn pairs off to the side, both meant for other occasions, better ones. ones that don't include the ringing of your ears and the well of your tears as they collect on your lashes. maybe it's an occasion where you're at a nice dinner with your mom, a rare treat whenever she deemed herself in the mood.
the bigger pair of shoes shifted. yaga.
"miss ogawa. i don't mean to overstep, but have you considered you're babying your 15 year old child? maybe you need to consider that she can make her own-"
"don't you dare tell me how to parent my own damn child." her voice is dripping with venom, the venom that seeps through you and whispers in your ear.
i just want to protect you.
your mothers anger was never a calm one, it was loud and furious, voice bouncing off the walls as she tried restraining herself from getting violent. so hearing her talk to the man in such a familiar tone had you quivering in her hold.
your mother, never under the assumption that she could ever be the reason you were upset, deduced that your shivers were caused by yaga.
so she glares, long and hard, and her lips move to form the words you were dreading, "my daughter is not attending your shit school. get out of my house.”
...
other than the sound of life beyond the door, there only laid cold, anxious silence.
you were afraid to look up, your mother's shirt being your only anchor. but from the resigned sigh that left yaga's lips, you were well aware of the expression he was making — one of anger, and disappointment. realizing that seeking you out was a waste of his time.
or so you assumed.
for he could only look at you in pity, acknowledging how painful a relationship like this must be for you, and in longing, hoping foolishly that he could lend a helping hand.
a rough calloused hand entered your vision, a piece of ripped paper in the grip of his fingers.
yaga gestured it towards you patiently, a look of sorrow marring his usually calm expression. "if there's a change, please call this number."
your mom ripped it from his grasp right before you could touch it. she crumpled it in her hand. "there won't be a change. now get the fuck out of my house."
you could only stare in horror at your mothers fist that held the only thing that could possibly change the trajectory of your life. even as yaga bowed and turned around, even as the door slammed shut behind him. even as mother soothed you with quiet coos meant for a baby, even as she turned towards the kitchen to start on dinner, even as she sat you down and commented on your silence. even as she watched you absentmindedly pick on your food, even as she started to become agitated at your lack of response, and even as she treaded up the stairs to her bedroom. your eyes stayed glued to that one hand.
you blinked, eyes dry and mouth parched as you suddenly remembered that you weren't at the front door anymore while your mother cradled you in her arms.
your eyes drift to the front door, and you approach it slowly. you don't know why you stand there or why your hand touched the door knob.
maybe it's because you're hopeful that the man is behind this door. waiting patiently for you to open it, prepared with the words of acceptance. maybe something amongst it that helps you figure out what the hell to do.
"a school of them." you whispered, the only thing capable of leaving your dry mouth.
there was a school of them. proof that you really weren't alone in this cursed world. how could you possibly go back to the difficult life of acting as if everything was normal when it wasn't? blue auras were around everybody, and the grotesque creatures festered from the negative feelings surrounding those people. and there were those out there who knew how to get rid of those things for the sake of others.
knowing all of this, you couldn't stand by and not lend a hand, not learn to control the one thing that's burdened you your entire life. but..
you looked up the stairs, seeing just the top of your mothers door.
what would she do? she needed you. you both took care of each other, you couldn't leave her behind.
but you needed this. you wanted to figure all of this out. control theses abilities and hopefully get to know people who were just like you. and... you could always come back.
yeah.
who said you had to stay? you would go, go to jujutsu high, reach your goals, and return to your mother.
because even though you may make friends with those of similar backgrounds to you, your mother was a constant in your life, never changing. you couldn't abandon her. you wouldn't.
so with this new resolve in your heart, you snuck up to her room. she kept her door creaked for unknown reasons, maybe to keep an eye on you, but you ignored that and thanked its convenience for this very moment.
she was asleep. snoring.
you treaded carefully over to the bed, eyes focused on the bags growing under her lashes. the sight made your lips twitch into a small frown. you delicately tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. listening to her steady breathing as she dreamt the night away.
"wait for me, mother.”
you turned away and grabbed the piece of paper off of her nightstand, leaving the room with a sense of urgency.
you dialed yaga's number after locking your bedroom door, pacing around in circles as the phone rung. the ringing resonated in your ears like a ticking clock. you didn't really have time. if he wouldn't answer now you'd never get your chance.
your mom was an early bird and you could already feel yourself getting drowsy.
"i mean. who even calls this late. he might be asleep..." you whisper defeatedly and pull the phone away from your ear to hang up, but it lights up with his icon and you jump in excitement.
"miss. ogawa?"
"masamichi-san. it's [name]."
Dear mother,
I've departed, something I'm sure you noticed. As much as I wanted to obey you, I couldn't just abandon the opportunity that could help change my life for the better. I know you were trying to protect me, and I know that it's dangerous. But I can't live knowing that my life could be different. I can't just sit by and watch this spark of light dim, let my world go dark again. I'm not like you, mother. I will not stay ignorant. Wait for me, please.
I lov-
a loud shrewd rip echoes through the quiet house. your mother's eyes are dull, face empty as she starts furiously ripping the paper to shreds.
she suddenly screams out in anger, tears of frustration bubbling and blurring her vision. she grips her hair in agony as she starts chanting curses.
"dammit dammit, dammit!! i told her it was dangerous. i told her. damn her!! good for nothing daughter... not listening to a fucking word i say!!"
your mom stomps angrily out of her room, not caring for the small pieces of paper she tramples over.
"I love you,"
"mother."
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neptuneiris · 10 months
Text
detachment (01/03)
letting go and accepting what we can't change. detaching from the choices of others.
pairing: prince!aemond × niece!reader
summary: aemond not only breaks your heart after so many love promises, he also breaks his betrothal to you without any justification and announces his betrothal to a baratheon girl. now you will be married soon too.
word count: 7.9k
next part • series masterlist
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Those had been his words before you left King's Landing and after you returned for an indefinite time due to the condition of your grandsire, King Viserys.
hello! i'm very happy to be back with a new story. new characters and new plot, now with our prince aemond🥰
comments and reblogs are always appreciated, thank you so much for reading, you are all awesome❣
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"I love you."
But he had really felt them?
Did Aemond Targaryen truly loved you?
For a time, both expressed their love and devotion for each other, proclaiming kisses, caresses and titles that they wanted to seal permanently with a Valyrian wedding.
The affection began as children. You were never mean to your uncle compared to your siblings and his older brother, Aegon. And fortunately Aemond always appreciated the good treatment he received from you.
And that good treatment led the two of you to start spending a lot of time together. By sharing a taste for literature, having interesting conversations about the history of your ancestors or even learning High Valyrian, you both formed a fondness and affection for each other.
There was never any objection from your mother, Princess Rhaenyra, about a friendship between her only daughter and her half-brother, the product of her father's second wife and once best friend.
Nevertheless, Alicent Hightower did have a problem.
When she began to notice her second son's affection for Princess Rhaenyra's daughter, she had to forbid him to spend time with you with more than strict measures and supervision.
"Mother said I must not spend time with you. She said that our duties are different and that I cannot learn embroidery with you and you cannot learn to use a sword with me."
He had told you once when the two of them met in the library sneaking around in the middle of the night with a sorrowful look and a sad tone of voice.
"My mother has never told me I can't spend time with you, Aemond. She has never forbidden me."
You had told him with such disappointment as you understood that the two of you could no longer spend time together and that all those readings together could no longer be possible, neither could High Valyrian lessons despite the fact that neither of you have a dragon yet.
"I know, Y/N."
And he had told you that with such resignation that tears began to form in your eyes.
"Then… we can't be friends anymore?"
And even though Aemond Targaryen at his young age has always been faithful to his mother in everything she told him, the most respectful and obedient, simply the polite and perfect son, seeing your tears and your sad face, at that moment he decided not to obey.
"I'm never going to let that happen. We'll still spend time together, I promise. But we'll have to be very careful."
He had told you to then take you in his arms, hugging you. A hug that you reciprocated instantly, making you feel better knowing that their friendship would continue.
And he keeps his word.
You begin to have secret meetings in the library, the kitchens or in the gardens, both being very careful not to be discovered.
The lessons of High Valyrian continued, also the readings of stories about Old Valyria, the reign of Aegon the Conqueror or the First Men.
Sometimes you would steal bread or cakes from the kitchens, then hide in the library or in the innermost corridors of the Keep where you knew you could not be found.
Everything was perfect. Two innocent children enjoying a friendship and at the same time preparing for their respective duties to the realm.
Until one day, your mother decided to leave with her whole family to Dragonstone.
It was a very hard blow for Aemond and you because you had never been separated before. Your mother had never even considered leaving King's Landing as she was the Heir to the Throne and very much aware that she must remain at Court.
But Alicent Hightower had been more astute and by her behavior managed to dispossess the princess of her own home. And there is no alternative for you and Aemond to exchange letters and keep in touch as much as possible.
Once you arrived at Dragonstone, letters between the two of you were never lacking in that short period of time between your departure from King's Landing and then Aemond's accident at Driftmark.
Aunt Laena Velaryon had died and despite it being an unfortunate event, you were happy to see Aemond again and he too longed to feel close to you again.
However, the Gods are cruel and the accident marked Aemond's life forever, as well as the rivalry between Queen Alicent and Princess Rhaenyra.
And although Lucerys is your brother, Aemond, even in his state of hatred, never resented you for his lost eye, nor the clear rivalry between your mother and his.
On the contrary, the relationship between you was strengthened because you did not want to separate after such a fatal accident that made you cry while you hugged him tightly, thinking that maybe you could have lost him.
So the letters continued, some exchanges of gifts as well and even some secret visits that you allowed yourselves to have on the backs of your dragons to meet in a midpoint.
Or rather on a small island in Blackwater Bay.
Aemond had managed to claim Vhagar, the largest dragon in all the world and the one that once had Visenya Targaryen as a rider, while you claimed Silverwing, the dragon of the good queen Alyssane Targaryen.
Until King Viserys' health began to deteriorate in a serious and worrisome way, so your mother decided to return for an indefinite time to the Red Keep.
And the moment you and Aemond were reunited, that bond between the two of you only grew stronger, so everything formed the word courtship and it was no secret to your families.
It was no secret despite the clear rivalry between the Targaryens and the Hightowers and even more so with Alicent Hightower against the clear affection between his son and Y/N Velaryon.
But everyone knew that you are not a true Velaryon.
A bastard.
That's what you are in the eyes of the Hightower. And no matter that your hair was platinum like the Targaryen's, you were not the daughter of Laenor Velaryon, but probably of Daemon Targaryen.
Queen Alicent knows the depravity of Princess Rhaenyra and there was no other explanation for it, considering also that your brothers are bastards, but of Harwin Strong.
And Queen Alicent felt that spite and hatred for Princess Rhaenyra being so brazen and giving birth to children not legitimate. And the same thoughts she shared with her father, her children and Larys Strong.
However, Aemond didn't want to hear anything she told him about you.
He understood that his mother was angry with his half-sister, but that didn't mean she would have to turn him against you as well for something they had nothing to do with.
Bastard or not… you were always a good person to him. And all Aemond wanted, as well as you too, was to be together. It didn't matter that your brother was the boy who took his eye, that was a separate point for him.
And when you were ten and eight while Aemond was ten and nine, the talks and planning for a marriage began.
Marriage that was not approved by Alicent and Otto Hightower, but Aemond didn't care. He had already let too much time pass without making a move.
And that was dangerous considering that you are a princess of the realm and many lords had already asked for your hand. And because of your age, you had to make a decision now.
But you had already chosen him, in fact since you were a little girl. And now he had already done something about it by asking for your hand.
And finally you could both call each other husband and wife, what you always wanted.
Your father, Daemon, didn't agree to the marriage, Jace didn't either. But your mother took your wishes into consideration and spoke to your grandsire, King Viserys, who approved and gave his blessing for a marriage between his son Aemond and his granddaughter Y/N.
At this, Queen Alicent could do nothing, much less Otto Hightower despite their replies and clear displeasure.
And when your mother gave you the news, it made you very happy to know that finally Aemond could call you his and you could call him yours.
"But are you completely sure about this, my love?"
Your mother asks you, looking at you with eyes of love and understanding, holding your hand. To which you only nod with a small smile on your lips.
"Yes."
She smiles too, stroking the back of your hand with her thumb. Then she lets out a long breath and nods as she lowers her gaze for a moment, which catches your attention.
"You agree, mother?"
She again looks at you with a slightly bewildered look.
"It doesn't matter what I think, sweet girl. What matters is that you really are sure that he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with."
"I know but your opinion matters to me."
Again Rhaenyra's sweet smile returns to her lips, watching you adoringly for a few moments to again let out a small breath.
"Well… I saw that coming, in a way," she smiles at you, "And I think we all do, actually."
"So you don't feel uncomfortable?"
"No," she denies absurdly, "I remind you that I did exactly as you wish, my love."
"It doesn't hurt to ask you and want to know how you really feel, mother."
Your mother is silent for a few seconds, thinking about your words and thinking about her own next.
"Well… if we go back in time, certainly your grandsire must have felt uncomfortable and… weird about the idea of his brother and his only daughter at the time together," she says sympathetically, "Something I never understood until now that I get to be in the same position as him. But that's our family and I couldn't oppose the idea of what you wish."
She assures you.
"Ever since you and Aemond started being inseparable as children, I knew it would turn out like this. And I knew that the thought of you both being meant to burn together could not be inevitable. And I understand that perfectly."
You nod slowly, listening and understanding his words, thinking.
"But father doesn't think the same," you say with some disappointment, "Neither do my brothers. They are upset with this and with me, I know."
"My love, you don't worry about them," your mother tells you immediately, "Your father will eventually understand, he can't be such a hypocrite, can he? And your brothers… they don't see that this will probably put an end to the rivalry between the two families, despite of happened in Driftmark. I don't expect Aemond to forgive Luke either."
She says and a wave of peace begins to envelop you.
"But there's always a chance and hope," she assures you, "So this is good, very good. Otherwise, Aemond would not have asked for your hand and I would not have spoken to the King to give his blessing."
That time your mother's words could not have comforted you more, making you feel genuinely happy and no longer feeling worried about the people around you because of your marriage to Aemond.
And that time you had also gone in search of Aemond after leaving your mother's chamber, finding him in the library, feeling relieved and happy.
"I spoke to my mother," you tell him, intertwining your fingers with his, "She said to be sure to set a date for the wedding with the king and she will tell us as soon as they come to an agreement."
Aemond watches you with a barely visible half-smile, all his gaze soft and watching you intently, with fondness and longing, noticing how you can't help but be excited about the wedding.
"And do you have any preferences for the wedding you'd like to share with me?"
He asks you softly, completely catching your attention, smiling at him.
"Actually, I should be asking you that question," you take a seat next to him, not letting go of his hand.
"I was the one who insisted on a traditional wedding," he reminds you with an obvious look, "You know I would prefer the Valyrian wedding, less people, few witnesses and everything just like the tradition of our house."
"The traditional wedding thing you asked for taking your mother's wish into consideration. She doesn't approve of this, so that's the only way to keep her less angry," you also remind him, "Still after our wedding at the Septon, we can fly to Dragonstone and have the Valyrian wedding we want. We can even stay there, just you and me."
Aemond smiles, bringing your hand to his lips, leaving chaste, soft kisses on the back of yours, understanding perfectly what you are implying, just what he desires as well.
"No celebration feast, then?" he peers over your hand.
"You want a feast?"
"It doesn't matter what I want, Y/N. All I want is to marry you and unite our blood, that's all that matters to me."
You smile softly, moving a little closer towards him.
"I know, nothing is more important to me too," you tell him softly, "but don't be so insensitive about the preparations, Aemond," you tell him amused.
He rolls his eye, still smiling and still not letting go of your hand for wanting to keep feeling your touch.
"Well, then tell me what's concerning you."
"They are not concerns, I just want to know your opinion and take into consideration some wishes you want to make."
"And what are those?"
"Well… your opinion would help me to know about what colors of the dress I should wear."
Aemond stops his caresses on your hand and watches you with a thin line on his lips and really expressionless for a few seconds without saying anything.
"I know perfectly well that this is about a concern of yours, Y/N," he finally tells you afterwards.
"Well, yes, it is a concern," you reluctantly confess.
"The colors of a dress?"
"Well, what am I supposed to do? Wear green or red?"
"My love, the dress will be yours, not mine. Besides, I know you don't like green."
"Yes but that color is yours."
"No, it's not mine, green is my mother's color," he reminds you, "I may wear it sometimes, but we are both more Targaryen than anything. So if you must choose colors, let them be red and black, just the same colors I will wear."
At that moment in front of him you don't show it, but you feel really relieved to hear his words, the dress being an issue that really had you worried sick.
So you get up, let out a long breath and sit on his lap, him instantly accepting you in his arms, while you drop your head on his chest in a defeated motion.
"What would I do without you," you murmur.
Aemond lets out a small laugh.
"'Rather what would I do without you, Issa jorrāelagon."
You let out a long breath, closing your eyes, taking comfort in the fact that you are in the arms of Aemond, the man you love.
"You're right," you murmur, "All I want is to call a Septon and have him marry us right now with no preparations and no other planning. I was going crazy over a dress and it's only the beginning."
"Don't worry, my love," he assures you softly, "We will plan the whole wedding together, without any third opinions and wishes. And in the end, it will all have been worth it. We'll finally be married, what we've always wanted."
You smile softly, lifting your face a little towards him to watch him, to which he also watches you, seeing your face light up, full of illusion and excitement.
"I still can't believe it."
"You know there's no turning back now, don't you? Once I see you at the Septon, you're already bound to me forever."
"Just what I've always wanted. Unless you don't want to."
"Of course I want to, I'm just warning you," he tells you with a smile, "And I also remind you that the blood of the dragon runs thick."
"We are lucky we share the same blood, my love."
Unable to help yourself any longer, Aemond's lips just above you being an invitation you complacently want to heed, you place your hands on his cheeks and begin to caress your lips with his, sharing a soft, affection-filled kiss that he reciprocates, holding you by your waist.
And even though you have shared countless kisses before, this one is undoubtedly different, because very soon he will be yours and you will be his, finally.
"Avy jorrāelan," you murmur against his lips.
"Avy jorrāelan, Issa gevie ābrazȳrys."
You let out a small laugh at his lips, pulling away from him a little.
"I'm not your wife yet."
"And your point is?"
You laugh again, stroking his long hair, watching his handsome face, stroking his scar as well, watching him with desire and adoration, all of him being what you want.
"Yet you will be soon."
And again he pulls you close in a needy kiss which you reciprocate instantly, really not looking forward to the big day anymore, wanting, no, rather needing to call him your husband as soon as possible.
And finally you can tell when the big day will be you are with Aemond in the gardens, both of you taking a walk before he goes to take his daily sword training and you get the seamstress to plan your dress, when your mother appears and approaches you both.
She has a small smile on her face, so you can tell this is good news.
"I spoke with the King a few moments ago. The Maester's are taking very good care of him and we have finally agreed on a date for the wedding."
"I hope it is soon," Aemond says to your surprise, listening and watching your mother carefully, with a serious gaze, "Though I would not be surprised if my father in his state, has suggested the end of the year."
"No, it's not like that," she tells him almost in the same condescending tone, "I let him know what you are expecting and the date has been dictated for before the end of spring, on another moon."
You hold back your huge smile and excitement, holding Aemond's hand a little tightly in a second out of excitement, that just sounding perfect, just what you wished for.
And even though you know Aemond must also feel the same happiness, he doesn't show it in front of your mother, holding back.
"Does my mother know?" he asks your mother in a softer tone.
Rhaenyra denies with a serious but restrained look of sadness and disappointment.
"No," she clears her throat, lowering her gaze for a moment, "I thought you would want to tell her," she confesses to him, "I never find the opportunity to talk to her," she purses her lips, "She won't let me."
Aemond at your side just nods in her direction, understanding. He also understands that this behavior on his mother's part towards his half-sister has always been there since she returned to the Keep.
And he doesn't think that will change, even after the wedding, but he appreciates Rhaenyra's efforts to try to talk to her and not leave her out of his wedding, despite her insensitivity at Driftmark.
It doesn't mean he'll be nice and friendly to her, it's just that little appreciation.
Then slowly Aemond turns to you and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead, locking you in his arms for a moment, wanting to feel you close.
You smile and hug him back, turning your face to look at your mother with a small more than happy smile on your lips, your mother also smiling in your direction, honestly feeling happy for the both of you.
News of the date begins to spread among the families and soon after throughout the Court as well, with the wedding of Prince Aemond Targaryen and Princess Y/N Velaryon being the most anticipated of the year.
It was still something Otto and Alicent Hightower didn't want, neither did Daemon Targaryen, but the King had already given his blessing and he himself wanted the news to spread throughout Westeros, wanting a truly unforgettable wedding.
Until a few days after your mother let you both know the wedding date, you unexpectedly began to see Aemond less frequently.
Usually the two of you every day go for a walk in the garden or meet in the library. And if you don't have time during the day, at night he sneaks into your chamber or you sneak into his through the secret passages.
However, none of that also happened to make up for lost time.
You would see him a few moments at the training yard with Criston Cole and a few other knights, but that was about it. And when you looked for him in the library, it looked like he wasn't going to spend any more time there.
And just when you decided to sneak through the secret passages to go to his chambers, you stopped and thought to yourself that maybe he's nervous and needs time to think about the wedding.
The wedding of the two of you is something you were longing for since you understood the meaning of a union that now that it's finally going to happen…probably has him very anxious and needs space.
Until the days go by and you start to feel that something is wrong, as you realize that he is avoiding you, something he has never done before.
You tried to talk to him but Criston Cole would let you know that he was having a meeting with his grandsire or was in the company of the queen. He would also tell you that the prince was out for a ride on his dragon.
You asked him to send him a message from you when he saw him, but it seemed that those messages never reached his ears or if they did, he ignored you.
And when you went to look for him at the training yard, you were told that the prince had skipped his training or had already trained very early in the morning, leaving you confused and not understanding anything.
You were completely disconcerted that the two of you suddenly stopped seeing each other and spending time together, so without thinking about it, one night you took the secret passage and slipped into the darkness with a candle in your hand and headed to Aemond's chambers.
But as you try to push his secret door, confusion overcomes you and your pulse stops for a moment when it won't open, being blocked by something from the other side.
You think about shouting his name, but instantly you know it's a very bad idea as you can't risk the secrecy of the passageways out of desperation.
But more and more disappointment and worry fill you, not understanding what is happening and thinking that it must be something bad.
At this, you show your concern to your mother, who continues to attend to matters at Court, keeping an eye on the King's health and helping you with the preparations for the wedding.
"Sure it's nothing, sweet girl. Men act in ways we don't understand, just as we act in ways they don't understand us. Perhaps he is preparing to be a good husband to you and both of you to do your duty for the realm.
"But it seems so strange to me," you say worried, "He doesn't talk to me, I practically don't see him and he even seems to avoid me."
"Have you tried to talk to him yet?"
"Yes, yes, all the time," you reply in an instant, "He even said he would help me get everything ready for the wedding but… I never see him."
"Y/N—
"I just don't understand, mother. We used to spend time together and now that we're finally getting married, he's acting weird."
"Sweet girl—
"Or is it that he doesn't want to marry me anymore?"
You interrupt him with a broken voice and utter disappointment and sadness in your eyes, realization starting to creep into your mind, truly not understanding anything.
"My love, you shouldn't go to extremes," your mother tells you in an instant, not wanting you to get upset and start thinking the worst, "He's been longing for this wedding as much as you have. He's probably just nervous and needs some time."
You look at your beautiful mother not so sure.
"Are you sure?" you ask her in a breathy whisper.
"Yes, my love, very sure."
She quickly moves towards you to lock you in her arms and comfort you, telling you that everything will be all right and that what you want so much , will finally happen.
But if only that had been it.
Not long after talking to your mother, once you head to your mother's chambers after leaving the chambers of your sweet Aunt Helaena with whom you were discussing some lovely ideas for the wedding, a guard intercepts you in the middle of the hallway, stopping you.
"Prince Aemond requires your presence in the Council Chamber, Princess. Immediately."
Such words could not have made you feel happier and relieved, finally ending this torture, so you quickly make your way to the Council Chamber, in an instant thinking about why Aemond has asked to see you there.
But honestly you don't care, all you want is to finally see him and talk to him.
And in an instant you already find yourself walking through the doors of the Council Chamber, happy to see Aemond's figure finally, standing with his back to you from the other side of the table, waiting for you.
But you must have thought something was wrong when he didn't even turn to look at you when he heard the sound of the doors opening and your footsteps approaching.
"My love, I'm so relieved to finally see you," you say with a smile, approaching him happily, "I was so worried, you don't know how much I wanted to see you and talk to you. I have so much to tell you, I even came to think that….
"I won't marry you."
Then your whole world stops, just like your feet, stopping abruptly at his words, your smile fading in a second and watching him now in shock.
The room goes completely silent, with no one else present, just the two of you, not even a guard present at his request for discretion… for now.
"I have spoken to my father… I have already cancelled all preparations, the Septon and my family have also been made aware."
And at his words, you feel like each one of them is a knife straight to your heart, tearing it from the inside, feeling an intent, sharp pain in your chest.
You look at him with your lips parted, your gaze completely bewildered and your eyes starting to fill with tears.
You are completely paralyzed, unable to move despite feeling yourself start to tremble, seeing him not even look back at you, telling you all this without any emotion, as if it meant nothing.
"Your family must also be being notified right now, the whole Court will know soon too."
"But…
You try to say with a thread of a voice, but he again speaks, still turning his back to you and with no emotion in his voice, no emotion in his posture either, leaving you to see a man you don't know completely.
"That's all. You can leave now."
Disbelief is completely reflected in your gaze, truly not understanding anything, with tears starting to involuntarily flow out of your eyes at his coldness and insensitivity.
Because he's already done everything… without you having the slightest idea.
"Are you serious?"
You manage to say, your voice completely broken and in a whisper, needing to sit up or lean against something, feeling your strength go.
"Doesn't it sound like I'm serious?"
"Aemond—
"I told you that's all, you can leave now," he repeats you with the same seriousness and coldness, as if you were nobody to him.
Then the first sob escapes your lips, trying to control yourself, but you cannot.
You continue to stand there, watching him with all the sadness in the world, also with all the confusion, really not understanding anything, needing an explanation, wanting to know why, what you have done wrong, what has happened, why he so suddenly changed his mind.
Everything was all right, everything seemed right, that you just don't understand.
"I-I don't… I don't understand anything—
"If you don't leave Y/N, I'll leave," he warns you, without even looking you in the eye for a second.
"But you… I-I… I thought—
He won't let you talk, he just doesn't want to listen to you and just like he said, that's what he does. He lets out a frustrated sigh and heads out of the Council Chamber, leaving you behind, heartbroken and not knowing why.
"Aemond," you call out to him between sobs, pleading.
Not knowing where you have drawn strength from, you move towards him once he is within reach, grabbing his arm, wanting to stop him and make him explain, but as soon as you reach him, he quickly pushes you away in a sharp, tactless movement, treating you, again, as if you were nobody.
"Don't."
He warns you in a threatening and cold tone, resuming his way to the doors in a more hurried pace, not even looking back.
His demeanor and coldness leave you completely shocked and static, never in a million years expecting such behavior from him towards you.
And once he leaves the Council Chamber, you feel your heart completely broken and your mind a mess of emotions, wanting to believe that this is not real, starting to cry and sob loudly.
A complete mess, Aemond leaves you there without explanation and without caring at all about your feelings, all being said and done.
Not long after, your mother and father rush into the Council Chamber, looking for you, finding you still a mess and you quickly asking them for explanations, explanations they had no idea about either.
And all that time, you kept asking yourself why, why he had done this to you if he was supposed to love you and want to marry you. But nobody understood anything.
Only he knew why he had done it.
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Weeks have passed since the announcement of the cancelled betrothal between prince Aemond and princess Y/N.
You being the protagonist of the topic to talk about, even so the men and women of the Court were not at all dissimulated and kept feeding the news more and more with each passing day.
Different rumors ran about the possible cause that caused the wedding to be canceled, rumors that you did not want to hear and for which you ended up locking yourself in your chamber, not wanting to see anyone.
You barely slept and barely ate, watching the days pass by through your windows slowly, with huge bags under your eyes and dismissing your maids whenever they wanted to assist you.
You hadn't seen him since that conversation either.
You didn't hear from anyone except your family who were in charge of making you react by going into your chamber to take a bath and eat something, your mother extremely worried about you and your father specifically having someone in mind for wanting to murder upon seeing your state.
Everyone was still as confused as you were, even your mother asked Queen Alicent for an explanation, but to no avail. She even tried to talk to Aemond, but he wouldn't let her, saying that everything was already done.
It was so much the humiliation that not even your mother would force you to leave your chamber, no matter how much she wanted to get you out of your four walls, Daemon feeling extremely upset and indignant.
Your brothers never said anything to you, but they were extremely worried about you too, as were your sisters Baela and Rhaena.
Even your grandmother Rhaenys sent her concerns from Driftmark, but no one had any explanations for anyone.
And you too, despite everything, still wanted an explanation from him. You wanted to understand, you wanted to know why… because you needed to, you needed to know.
But you never tried to talk to him again. How could you if he had left you totally devastated with no justification?
And you knew that if you tried, Aemond wouldn't be willing to talk to you. He found it easier to forget and move on, as if nothing had happened, without caring, just what he is doing now.
Until one day the king requested a dinner with every member of his family, including you, without any exception, wanting to have a dinner with everyone together, wanting the waters to calm down after so much tension.
Your mother assured you that your grandsire was no longer blinded by the milk of poppy, that he made sure to drink less of it now, and yet you thought that your grandsire still conscious, made the worst decisions.
You could no longer continue to take refuge in your chambers, so with no alternative, your maids prepare you for dinner, dressing you and making you a hairstyle as usual, nothing new and nothing missing.
"You can do this, my sweet girl."
Your loving mother says to you, holding your face with both her hands.
"We will be with you at all times. I will be with you always by your side," she assures you, "You just ignore him, ignore them all, I will do the rest. Let's just please your grandsire on this, all right?"
Unable to help yourself, you hug your mother tightly and in one needy movement, to which she hugs you back with all that love and all that comfort you so desperately need, understanding you completely.
You try not to cry, because you've cried too much already and you're tired of it, but now you can't help it, needing your perfect mother for strength.
"Thank you," you murmur into her chest.
"I love you, my love. I would do anything for you."
You smile with happiness and sadness at the same time, with pain, starting to cry, trying not to make noise.
"I love you too."
She then tells you that you can stay a moment longer in her chambers before leaving to give you time, but what you don't want is to draw attention to yourself, so you prefer to arrive before anyone else in the dining room.
Then your whole family takes their respective seats, your father instantly giving you the seat next to your mother so that you are not sitting across from him, everyone knowing perfectly well which is his usual seat.
Then the doors open again and it's them, all the green ones.
You lower your gaze and pretend not to care about anything as he walks through the doors, following Aegon, just being in the same room as him making you feel something you don't know exactly what it is but you don't like it, feeling uncomfortable as well.
He doesn't look a single second in your direction either, but instantly being the center of attention of your father, who is the one who takes a seat in front of him, with Rhaena and Luke.
Shortly after, the King makes his entrance, everyone rising from their seats to greet him.
And more shortly after, you want to say that time fortunately passes quickly but unfortunately it doesn't, so you just suffer in silence, with your mother holding your hand from time to time, wanting to give you all her possible support in this.
The servants serve the food and wine, that fortunately distracting you, also the music your grandsire orders to play, this being a bit more bearable.
But all you want to do is get out of this room and never be in the company of all the Hightowers ever again.
You know that sweet Helaena is not to blame for anything, but she is part of them too by being Aegon's wife and already having three children with him.
And that couldn't make you sadder… sweet Helaena being wife to a man who doesn't deserve her.
Your father offers you his hand in a moment as Rhaena and Luke rise from their seats and head to the center to dance, also Jace invites Helaena.
Your father shows you his support even though he had said from the beginning that your betrothal to Aemond was a bad idea. But you are also his sweet little girl and he lets you know that he will always be there for you.
When the moment is interrupted by Otto Hightower, wanting to make an announcement, stopping the music and drawing the attention of everyone in the room.
You exchange a glance with your father, you don't even look in Otto's direction when everyone else does, because he is so close to his grandsire.
"Now that we're all together, I'm very pleased to let you know the great news."
Otto Hightower says and you raise your wine glass to your lips, not really caring.
"My grandson Prince Daeron who is in Oldtown, will soon return to the capital to marry Cerelle Lannister, daughter of our Naval advisor, Jason Lannister," he announces proudly.
Everything is silent for a few seconds, you still not giving importance to anything or anyone, still thinking about the great news, definitely.
You didn't even remember Daeron, he's been so long away from King's Landing that it's impossible to remember him. And before anyone says anything, just to corroborate what Otto is saying, he again speaks up.
"It is also my pleasure to inform you that my grandson Aemond…
Your heart stops for a second, as well as that definitely catches everyone's attention, everyone listening attentively and you too, unconsciously.
"He has also been betrothed to one of Lord Borros Baratheon's four daughters, the lady Floris Baratheon," he says and continues, "These two marriages clearly being more than excellent benefits to the house of the dragon and so securing our bloods, both the common and the blood of old Valyria."
At that moment you did not notice the exchange of glances from your brothers and sisters, also the mocking smile that your father let out when he heard the man's words, as well as the serious look on your mother's face when she heard everything.
You just focused on yourself, pretending none of it mattered to you, feigning indifference, when your mind could only repeat one thing at all times:
"My grandson Aemond has also been betrothed to one of Lord Borros Baratheon's four daughters, the Lady Floris Baratheon."
You want to cry. And a lot.
However, it was only more humiliation than necessary and you had to control yourself, needing this dinner to be over as soon as possible.
Again absolute silence is in the huge room, you couldn't care less.
When Alicent is the first to congratulate her son, as well as your grandsire in a weak and hoarse voice, then your mother also offers the coldest congratulations she has ever given, simply to keep up appearances.
And you can only think: was this necessary?
How mean Otto Hightower had to be and so did Alicent to want to humiliate you further by announcing such a thing, to you and your entire family for that matter. It just wasn't necessary.
Until finally the dinner is over and everyone can leave once the king takes his leave and retires to his chambers first.
Completely controlling your tears, you enter your room with your father more than furious, followed by your mother and your brothers and sisters.
"What the fuck was that!?" he inquires to your mother.
"My love—
"Do you really think I'm just going to stand here and do nothing!?"
"Oh truly? And what are you going to do?" asks your mother too, seriously, "Cut off the heads of Aemond and Otto Hightower?"
"They have humiliated us, Rhaenyra!" he exclaims to her in annoyance, "they can talk and humiliate me all they want, but they will not humiliate you or my family!"
"Father—
Baela tries to talk to him, but he won't let her.
"We're going to go talk to Viserys this instant and Y/N's wedding to that fucking one-eyed is going to happen."
"Are you serious?" your mother inquires again, "Husband, you were the first to oppose the marriage."
"They have humiliated our daughter, don't you see!" he points out angrily, "Her marriage to Aemond would have given us more power over them if we had him and Vhagar on our side. Now by the time Viserys dies, you're not going to have enough support for your claim," he tells her seriously, "We need Lord Borros on our side as well."
"Daemon, this isn't about the crown, this is about our daughter."
"And that is exactly why I will not let such humiliation pass," he tells her seriously and with a dark look on his face, "He asked for Y/N's hand, he gave you a whole speech to allow him to marry her, now he keeps his word or he marries no one, just like that."
"I want to go home."
You speak in the middle of all the discussion, staring at an unimportant spot in your chamber, tears running down your cheeks, your sad, tired, broken voice calling for everyone's attention.
Your mother and sisters quickly turn to you, concerned about your condition.
"What is it, my love?"
Your mother asks you, running her hands through your hair, watching you intently.
"I want to go home," you repeat, "I want to go to Dragonstone."
Your mother immediately looks at your father, who looks back at her, serious and attentive to you, feeling more upset at seeing you so broken.
"My love, we can't leave," your mother tells you in a soft voice, "We need to take care of your grandsire and stay at Court, as it should be."
"You stay here," you say in an instant, "I will go."
Your mother denies, understanding you, but unable to allow it.
"My love, don't—
"Mother please," you plead, "Please, at least just for a little while, I promise I'll come back," you beg, "But now… I just want to get out of here, please."
Your mother watches you for a few moments without saying anything with her lips parted, again exchanging a glance with Daemon, who nods slightly in her direction.
But Rhaenyra won't let you go just like that. She is your mother, after all.
"You'll be alone, my sweet," she says with some fear, "I can't leave you alone and I won't be at ease with that."
"She won't be," Rhaena says instantly, drawing everyone's attention, "I'll go with her and Luke will too. We'll come back when she's ready."
"No, absolutely not," says your mother resolutely, "I can't have the three of you in Dragonstone alone, no—
"Let them," your father interrupts, "I'd rather Y/N leave this snake pit until everything calms down. I feel better with the idea of Rhaena and Luke accompanying her, so the three of them will take care of each other."
"And we won't necessarily always have to stay at Dragonstone," Rhaena adds, "We can fly to Driftmark and spend a few days keeping our grandmother company too."
Your mother turns your gaze to you, who you completely beg with your gaze to let you do this, to let you go for now.
And of course, you feel completely grateful to Rhaena and your little brother for not letting you go alone. Clearly Jace and Baela are the heirs after your parents and it makes the most sense for them to stay here at Court.
Until finally your mother lets out a long breath, not herself believing she will accept this, being too afraid to let her children go to Dragonstone alone.
Though she knows there is no better safe place for them, even safer than King's Landing.
"All right," she finally says, "But I'll fly with you there and then I'll come back, just to make sure everything will be all right."
You immediately nod, not really caring, since all you want to do is get out of here and not come back.
Again your mother hugs you, transmitting all that comfort and affection you always need from her, really not wanting to leave here. You were so excited to go back to the Keep but you weren't expecting any of this to happen.
And now you just want to go home and come back when you feel better.
Soon enough you find yourself in Dragonpit, with your mother, Luke and Rhaena ready to fly to Dragonstone, with your father, Jace, Baela, Joffrey, little Aegon and little Viserys seeing them off.
All the while shedding tears, lasting more nights without sleep and more days with no appetite for anything, only finding comfort in riding your dragon as your mother was not around.
And as soon as you finish saying goodbye, the sooner you find yourself in the skies and the sooner you arrive at the black castle, your home.
You needed to let many moons pass to cope with your broken heart and such humiliation, also to accept that Aemond never really loved you and that he would soon marry another woman who would not be you.
But Silverwing was always there for you and could feel everything you felt.
Until one day, more moons after your departure from King's Landing, Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen return to Dragonstone with their entire family for a short time, promising to return soon.
And shortly after the Heir to the Throne leaves King's Landing, a raven arrives at the Red Keep, announcing the unexpected new news.
The Heir, Princess Rhaenyra returns to King's Landing in less than two moons with her prince consort Prince Daemon and her entire family to celebrate the wedding of Princess Y/N Velaryon to Lord Cregan Stark, Lord of Winterfell.
And that message is spread all over the Red Keep, all over King's Landing and eventually all over Westeros.
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crxss01 · 10 months
Text
— Never Felt So Low
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pairing ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ 42!miles morales x reader
summary ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊ you see miles a month after his dad's funeral.
warnings ✧˖ ° angst, comfort, sad miles, grief, mentions death (obvi), sad tía morales.
m. list, main m. list.
translations ✧࿓☾ mija: dear, bonito: handsome/pretty boy. princesa: princess, gracias, muñeca: thanks, doll.
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miles had been distant ever since his dad died, you completely understood him (in a way) and the fact that he wanted to be there for his mother. but you also wanted to be there for him, to be able to give him the comfort that he needed.
since he had made no attempts to contact you, you decided that you were just going to his house with no invitation. you would not only fail yourself if you didn't go but you would also fail him because right now he needs all of the support that he can get.
knocking on the door, you waited until it was answered by rio morales, who you liked to refer to as tía morales. the woman looked a mess, which was understandable, her eyes were bloodshot and she had dark bags under them, her nose was red, her hands were shaking and her bottom lip was quivering.
"ohh... tía morales." you walked in, pulling the older woman into a hug.
she held you close and tightly, not tight enough to the point that it was uncomfortable but to the point where you felt the pressure, tía morales did not start to cry instead choosing to just enjoy the comfort you were offering.
you let her hug you for however long she wanted. a couple of seconds or minutes later, you lost track of time, she started to pull away slowly.
"i missed you, mija." she told you, her hands cupping your cheeks and her thumb gently caressing one of them.
"i missed you too, tía." and it was true, the woman was pretty much a mother figure to you.
"go check on our boy, i'm starting to get so worried about him." she shook her head, holding back tears. "he's been suppressing his emotions."
you nodded. "alright, i'll try to help him."
tía morales pointed at his bedroom and you walked to the door, stopping right in front of it and lifting your arm to knock.
“ma, i already told you that i don’t wanna eat anything right now.”
“it’s me, bonito.” you called out softly. “can i come in?”
there was a minute of silence and you were scared that he was about to tell you to leave when he finally spoke. “yes, come in.”
so you did. the moment you saw him sitting down on his bed, head thrown back and staring at the ceiling you felt relieved to see that he was at least looking healthy so far.
“miles…”
your previous thought changed when he turned his head to look at you and your heart broke this time. he looked pale and so tired, you wanted nothing more than to bring back the rich color of his skin and to make the happy look return to his tired eyes.
“hey..” he said with no emotion whatsoever, even his voice had a rough edge to it that you didn’t notice while you were outside his door.
“hey, bonito.” you walked closer to him and sat beside him on the bed, taking his hand in yours.
“i’m sorry, it’s been a while.” he apologized. “i made you feel alone.”
“don’t apologize, i understand.” you shook your head. “but now i want to be here for you and i think it was the other way around, i wasn’t there for you and made you feel like you only had your uncle and mom.”
“i knew i had you too, princesa. i just didn’t want you to see me like this.”
“miles, i don’t care about your appearance as long as you look healthy, you know that. you are going through a tough time right now and i want to be here for you.”
miles laid his forehead on yours. “gracias, muñeca.”
“can i stay here with you?” you asked, wanting to spend the night with him in your arms but still not wanting to intrude. it was good enough that he didn’t argue with you about you being in his home, yet you even were willing to spend the whole week with him if it would bring back the tiniest spark back to his eyes.
“yes, you can.” he nodded, raising one hand and softly stroking your cheek with his thumb just like his mother did.
after what seem like hours in the same position, his face had lost part of the tension on it, a calm expression replacing it and it made you feel a little better that you had that effect on him.
“here, mi niño.” tía morales had walked in and was passing two plates of food to you and miles.
“ma, i already—”
“thank you, tía.” you took both plates from her. “we’ll both eat it.”
the woman nodded, a smile on her face before she left the room, closing the door and leaving a 4inch gap.
you turned to miles and put one plate down on his bed and focused on one. lifting a spoonful you blew on the rice and chicken on it before directing the spoon to miles’s lips.
“say ahh.” you told him.
miles looked at you for a second before rolling his eyes and opening his mouth. “ahh.”
you put the spoon inside his mouth, and he gladly chewed the food when you took the spoon out.
grabbing food from the plate on the bed you also ate and closed your eyes at the taste of tía morales’ delicious cooking.
after miles swallowed his mouthful, you took another spoonful from the plate on your hand and lifted the spoon to his lips.
miles once again looked at you for a second but instead of rolling his eyes, he smiled showing the dimples that you loved so much.
his smile was contagious and you couldn’t help but smile as well while you led the spoon inside his mouth.
after you both finished eating you took the plates out to the kitchen and washed them before going back to miles’ room and changing into one of his shirts and shorts then laying next to him on his bed.
“i missed you so much, beautiful girl.” miles said, hugging you close. his head on your chest.
“and i missed you too.” you said truthfully.
miles nodded into your chest and you both stayed quiet for a few minutes. when you felt little droplets of tears falling onto the shirt you were wearing, you didn’t say anything. already knowing how sensitive miles was and how he preferred to cry in silence unless he spoke first.
your hand started going up and down his back, letting him know you were there and he got the message because he hugged you more tightly and sobs were coming out of his throat.
“i just miss him.” he finally spoke, his voice breaking.
this was your queue that you could speak now. “i know, bonito, i know.” you told him. “let it all out.”
“it hurts so much.” more tears started coming out of his eyes.
you needed to use all the strength in you in order to not start crying right then and there along with him instead focusing on being as comforting to him as you could, whispering sweet nothings to him and pulling him close to you.
the night went on like this and you made sure that miles was asleep before you allowed yourself to fall under exhaustion control and also fall asleep.
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taglist: @anikaluv @janaeby @queerponcho @laylasbunbunny @onginlove @all444miles @fiannee @sp1dercunt @milesandcorysupermacy @loonalockley @miguelslefteyebrow @dxille (if you asked to be added to the taglist and you’re not on here is because your @ didn’t appear!)
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ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ reblogs are really appreciated!
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1K notes · View notes
unsolved-duvall · 1 year
Text
𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞 - 𝐞.𝐦. (𝟏𝟖+)
eddie munson x fem!reader
summary you and eddie broke up because you were too scared to love him. so when you need someone and he's the only person you want to run to, what are you supposed to do? (4.8k)
warnings talk of a bad home situation, mentions of abuse, references to mental health, anxiety, crying, very subtle mention of a panic attack, angst i suppose?, fluff, smut, kissing, unprotected sex (don't do this!), lots of feelings. i have probably missed something i'm so sorry <3
The downpour of rain beat down against the windows of your car and was almost loud enough to drown out the myriad of thoughts that were swirling around your mind. 
You didn’t know why you were here. 
That was a lie, you knew exactly why you were there. It was because this was the only place you could think to go. And Eddie was the only person you felt safe with. Never mind the fact that you had broken up last month. You had been the one to break up with him. 
But tonight every emotion you were feeling felt too overwhelming. The sadness and anxiety that you could normally let go of seemed to consume your every thought, washing over you like a wave until they drowned you. Of course, it didn’t help that the only sounds around to drown out your thoughts were those of a not-so-calming nature. 
Your mom and her boyfriend had been fighting constantly. Screaming, shouting and harsh words became a sort of white noise in your household. You would listen with your door cracked open in case you needed to call for help. You felt an innate need to protect her, even from herself. 
The fighting was so common that it rarely bothered you anymore, but tonight everything had gotten to be too much. It was non-stop, pushing you to the edge and causing you to get in your car and drive over here without thinking twice about it. 
And now you were sitting in your car, fiddling with the necklace that hung delicately around your neck, before slipping it back underneath your jumper, letting the ring that hung from it hit your cold skin. And tried to figure out what the fuck you were thinking? What made you think he would even want to see you? You had broken his heart, he had told you that. And those words played on repeat in your head every day, like your own personal form of torture. 
Eddie knew you didn’t have a great home life. It was why you practically lived with him and Wayne when you were still together. You had your own drawer full of clothes and your belongings were always dotted through the trailer. A book you were reading thrown on the sofa, your blanket folded over the back of a chair, or your toiletries in the bathroom next to Eddie’s. 
You never spoke about the reason you were there so often. You didn’t need to. Eddie knew all too well what it felt like to live in that sort of environment, so you never needed to explain anything to him. When you would turn up at his door at midnight, tears streaming down your face and shaking hands clenched by your sides, he didn’t need you to tell him anything else. He pulled you into him and rested his head against yours and asked what you needed him to do. 
You just needed to be with him. 
So that became a sort of routine between the two of you. Eddie would wait for you each night, and when you would ultimately turn up in the early hours of the morning, almost no words would be exchanged between the two of you. Instead, you would walk to his bedroom and fall asleep next to him. He understood. He knew you were tired and didn’t feel safe falling asleep in your own home sometimes. 
If simply letting you fall asleep curled up next to him was all you needed, he would do it until the end of time. 
Until you let the guilt overwhelm you. Eddie deserved better, he didn’t deserve to be in a relationship where he felt like he had to protect you all the time. You could look after yourself, take care of yourself, you had done it for years until you met Eddie. But there was this nagging thought in the back of your mind that you were relying on Eddie too much, and would eventually hurt him in one way or another. The break-up was quick, you barely let him get a word in before you left him standing alone in his bedroom. Confused and heartbroken. 
You left so quickly because you didn’t trust yourself not to change your mind if you looked at him any longer. 
Which is exactly why you shouldn’t be knocking on his door right now. It was exactly why you should turn around and go home, instead of being in the one place you shouldn’t be. It was- 
“Oh- hey,” Eddie stood in front of you, his hair falling in loose curls around his shoulders. He looked tired, unsurprising considering it was almost midnight, but still, it was an unnerving sight. His usual honey-thick smile was nowhere to be seen. 
There was uncertainty flickering in his doe eyes. But he didn’t tear his gaze away from you for even a second. 
“Hey um- fuck, okay I’m sorry I should-” your voice trembled as you fought to get the words out. The truth was you weren’t entirely sure what you should even say to him. 
Do you apologise? Do you tell him what’s going on at home? Do you tell him that you feel like you haven't been able to breathe since you broke up? 
You hadn’t realised how long it had been since you’d said anything, but you see Eddie raise his eyebrows, almost hidden behind his hair, and you stumble on your own feet, taking in a shaky breath and opening your mouth to say…something. 
But nothing came out. So instead, Eddie said, “Look, why don’t you- shit, at least come inside, it’s too fucking cold to be standing out here.” 
You nodded your head and he moved to the side to let you step into the warmth. You felt something heavy settle over your chest, being back here it was… it felt like home. The soft orange hue of the lamps lit up the rooms. The aroma of home-cooked food hit you and you remembered how many times Wayne would make sure there was a spare plate of food set aside for you, in case you turned up. 
The TV was playing quietly with the soft murmurs of the dialogue, from the film he had clearly been watching, echoed through the trailer. You were pulled out of your thoughts by Eddie calling you over to the couch where he had already sat down again. 
You considered telling him you had made a mistake, but your feet carried you over to him like it was the most natural thing in the world. You sat down on the other end of the couch, pulling your legs up and sitting with them crossed in front of you. Eddie watched your every move, taking in all of your little mannerisms he had missed so much. 
“Are you…are you okay? I mean you used to come here if it got- you know if it got bad.” Eddie asked you, his eyes fixed back onto the TV the minute he started speaking to you again; almost as if he was afraid of what he would say if he kept looking at you. 
“Yeah, they uh- I don’t fuckin’ know why they do this shit to themselves. They fight all the time, they’ve gotta be miserable.” you tried to sound as casual as you could, but even you could hear the distress your voice carried. 
Eddie heard it too and it made his whole body tense up. He still wanted to fix everything for you. He still wanted to pull you into him and tell you everything would be okay. 
“Yeah I know sweet-” he cut himself off before he could finish the word, but it made you feel close to tears nonetheless. Even after what had happened, he still immediately wanted to call you that. Fuck. 
Eddie cleared his throat before he carried on speaking, clearly thinking over his choice of words. “I know but- you know they’re fully grown adults, you can’t…you have to let them sort their own shit out.” 
“That’s my mom, Eddie-” 
“I know, shit I know.” You swear you could almost see the way his eyes glazed over as his memories came flooding back to him. You didn’t know everything about his past, but he had told you enough. 
“I just worry about her. He’s not a good guy, you know? But I couldn’t stay there tonight, and I know that makes me the worst fucking daughter but-” 
“Hey, no. Don’t say shit like that.” his voice was harsher than it had been before, with a kind of authority to it that sent shivers running down your spine. 
He still cared about you. Of course, he did. -
“You are not responsible for protecting your parents, that is their job. You are not a bad daughter, you’re a- shit, we’re still kids. We shouldn’t have to deal with all of that, it’s not fair.” you knew he was talking more about himself now, and that made it hurt even more. You being here, the reason you were here, brought up a lot of trauma for Eddie. But he would never outright admit that.
You turned to face Eddie, moving closer to him so your knees scraped his, and leaned against the back of the couch, resting your head on your hand. “Yeah, you’re right.” Eddie fiddled with one of his rings as he listened to you speak. You had to resist the urge to lean over and hold his hand in yours. “It’s not fair. But there’s nothing we can do, so…” 
“So…here you are.” 
“Here I am.” 
There was a beat of silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was just…quiet, and relaxing. There was something unspoken exchanged between both of you. Some mutual understanding that right now wasn’t the time to talk about everything. Even though Eddie had a million questions for you, for now, he was happy enough to have you sit next to him again. Like you had done a million times before. 
You leant back again, sinking into the couch cushion beneath you and let your eyes drift back to the TV. Eddie copied you, relaxing into the couch and resting his head against the back of it as you both sat in silence. 
After ten minutes or so you couldn’t help but steal glances at Eddie every now and then. The light from the TV lit up his face, and from this close to him you could see the light freckles that dotted across his nose and underneath his eyes. His eyes were almost honey-brown in the orange hue of the room, and you could tell he had only washed his hair a few hours ago. His curls had a soft frizz to them and you missed how they felt between your fingers. 
Your gaze moved down to where his hands were resting. You didn’t realise how much you could miss someone's touch. He always used to have one of his hands on you. Whether he was holding your hand, resting it on your leg or letting it run up and down your back as you lay next to him. 
Soon enough the film ended and Eddie stood up to sort it out; you watched him and for a second you were sure he was going to ask you to leave. 
But then he stood up from where he had been kneeling down next to the TV and sighed before saying, “Come on.” 
“What- what are we doing?” you moved to sit up on the couch but didn’t stand up just yet. 
Eddie looked around the room for a second as if he was gathering his thoughts before he lifted and dropped his shoulders in contemplation and said, “What we used to do. I’m not letting you go home tonight.” 
You hesitated for a moment, “Well I can sleep on- on the couch.” 
“If that’s what you want to do then that’s okay. But you don’t have to, you can sleep in my room. No expectations, nothing. I promise.” A subtle rosy flush coloured his cheeks whilst he spoke, and you bit back a smile at how even the mention of it had him nervous. 
“No, yeah of course, um well thank- thank you.” You stood up and followed Eddie as he made his way to his room, turning off the lights as he went. 
Before you had time to ask Eddie for clothes to sleep in he was handing you one of his t-shirts and a pair of your pyjama shorts you must have left there. “You can get changed in here, I’ll go to the bathroom.” 
“Okay, thank you Eddie.” he smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. With Eddie out of the room, you took a second to gather yourself. You felt your heart start to race and your hands shake, a tell-tale sign that you were getting overwhelmed. Only this time you knew it would all be okay because Eddie would be back soon. 
You changed into the clothes he had given you and you sat on top of his bed waiting for him to come back. Even though you knew you would be sleeping in his bed tonight it still felt somewhat presumptuous of you to get under the comforter already. 
You heard movement from outside his room and sure enough, Eddie walked back through his bedroom door a moment later. He had a pair of boxers on and the same t-shirt he was wearing earlier. 
You knew he always sleeps in just his boxers, but you also appreciated he probably left his t-shirt on out of respect. 
The truth was you wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t leave it on. Feeling his skin pressed against yours used to ground you when nothing else could. But you supposed things couldn’t be the same anymore. Of course, they couldn’t. 
Eddie’s eyes dipped down to your neckline, you weren’t sure what had caught his attention at first, “You still wear it?” 
What- 
Oh. 
The necklace. With his ring on it. He gave it to you after he had developed a habit of slipping his rings onto yours fingers whenever he got the chance. He gave you the necklace and his favourtie ring because then there would “always be a part of him with you.” Which was exactly why you still wore it. 
“Oh um- yeah, I do. I’m sorry if that’s strange or…” 
“No. No, it’s not weird.” you saw a pained expression paint his face before he smiled and turned around, facing away from you. 
“Are you gonna get into bed or?” You could hear his signature smirk even if you couldn’t see him, his back was turned to you as he finished taking his rings off. 
“Oh- yeah, okay. ‘M sorry-“
“You need to stop saying sorry, just act normal. This can be normal, right?” Eddie walked over to his bed and threw himself down under the covers, he was all long limbs and curly hair and for a second you didn’t know why the hell you had ever left him. 
You weren’t sure what you were supposed to say in response. It felt like he was giving you a chance to explain yourself. To tell him what was going on in your head. 
“Yeah this can be normal” was you all could say. Because you did want this to be normal, but you needed to know what Eddie was thinking, so as you lay down next to him and stared up at the ceiling you said, “Do you hate me?” 
“Do I- shit, why would I hate you?” you weren’t sure if the disbelief in his voice made you feel better or worse. 
“I was an asshole.”
“You broke up with me, that doesn’t make you an asshole, that makes you a person who has her own thoughts and feelings. And makes her own decisions” Eddie’s voice didn’t carry much emotion. It was flat and monotone, and you had never heard him sound like that before. 
“That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be… I don’t know- annoyed with me for how I did it.” 
“What? You came over, you told me you didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and you left. What else were you meant to do? A break up’s a break-up.” you couldn’t see his face, both of your expressions shrouded in the darkness of the room. 
“I shouldn’t have… I should have explained myself to you, but I was… I wasn’t doing good, you know? And I guess-” 
“You fell out of love with me, it’s okay. It happens.” 
His words hit you like a punch to the chest and your breath got caught in his throat as you processed his words. Fallen out of love? No. No, you could never fall out of love with him. You loved him too much. You loved him so much it terrified you. A stillness took over the room, and all you could hear was the ruffling of the sheets as Eddie turned over, muttering a reluctant good night under his breath.
You didn’t want to push any boundaries he was clearly putting up between the two of you. You had hurt him and you knew he was only protecting himself. But it killed you nevertheless. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat and blinked back tears. Turning over to fall asleep, in the same bed you had done so many times, except this time you weren’t curled into his side with his arms wrapped around you. 
A few hours had passed and although you were trying, you couldn’t let yourself drift off to sleep. You lay in complete silence and let your thoughts ruin any chance of you getting a peaceful night. Eddie was asleep, you thought he was anyway. Just as you had decided to get out of bed and walk to the kitchen for a glass of water, you heard movement beside you. 
“Are you okay?” Eddie. His voice was thick with sleep, deeper and rougher than it usually sounded, but a voice you were all too familiar with. 
“Yeah ‘m fine.” 
“What’s wrong?” Eddie had turned onto his back now, waiting for an answer, and when you didn’ reply he simply said, “you only say you’re fine when you’re so far from it that it scares you.” 
“I just can’t sleep, that's all.” you lay back down and hesitated for a moment before whispering, “I never fell out of love with you.” 
You felt Eddie still next to you, and you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears and your cheeks heating up. 
“Oh.” 
“I didn’t want to hurt you. I was so scared that- that we would end up being exactly the same as everyone around us. I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t-”
“You still love me?” you could hear the pain that laced his voice as he breathed out the words. 
“Yes.” 
The words sat heavy between the two of you, the room was still dark, almost pitch black, but a lone streetlamp from outside allowed a slither of orange light to screep through the space between the blinds, allowing you to see Eddie’s face. His eyes cut to yours when he said, “Then why did you do it?” 
If your heart wasn’t already in pieces then Eddie had just made sure of it. His voice was soft, as if he was afraid of the answer. 
“Because what if we turn into our parents.” 
“Oh, sweetheart-” 
You were crying. Silent tears that fell down your face, pooled in the corner of your eyes and stained your cheeks with the reminder that you couldn’t trust yourself to love someone in fear of hurting them. Eddie didn’t cry, but that was because he had cried so much after you had ended things with him that he didn’t have the energy left to cry now; although hearing your breath hitch with every tear that fell threatened to send him over that edge with you. 
“Come here, it’s okay.” Eddie cooed, and you didn’t waste another second not being in his arms. You stretched out your arms to find his already waiting for you, pulling you into his chest and letting your head rest there, where it used to rest every night. 
You let him wrap you in his arms and you let yourself sink into him, throwing a leg over his and nuzzling your face into his chest. He whispered comforting words into the still air and you listened to him, truly believing him when he told you he loved you. 
You told him you loved him too. 
You lay like that and spoke about everything you needed to until you noticed the sun peeking in through the curtains, replacing the soft orange light of the streetlamps that had graced the room throughout the night. Eddie told you that you should both try and get some sleep, you nodded your head with the little energy you had left and let your eyes drift shut. 
You slept knowing you were back where you were always meant to be. 
By the time you woke up the room had gone dark again, and you felt a panic surge through you at just how long you must have been asleep for. Eddie was stil there, holding you. 
“What time is it?” your voice was raspy, the way it always was when you had just woken up. 
“It’s only the afternoon, you’re okay.” Eddie ran his hand over your back and pushed your hair out off your face to look at you. 
“Why is it so dark?” you aksed him, perplexed. 
“The sun got really bright, you know as the sun does,” you laughed at his words, more so you laughed at how he didn’t even realise what he said was funny. “And you started getting restless, I didn’t know if it was bothering you so I put a blanket over the window and drew the blinds again, so it would be darker.” 
He must have pulled you back against him when he got back into bed. “How did you… put a blanket… over the window?” 
“Don’t worry about it.” It scared you how sincere he could sound even when he was joking. “I’m magical what can I say.” 
“Yeah,” you agreed “you really are.” 
Eddie let out a sigh as you moved off of him, laying on your side and staring at him. Eddie mirrored your actions, moving to rest on his side so you were face to face. 
“I’m still so sorry about-” 
“What will it take to get you to stop apologizing to me?” Eddie asked you, faked annoyance in his voice. 
You smiled and your eyes flicked down to his lips. He noticed, the same way he noticed everything. “Can you kiss me?” 
“Yeah” he breathed out before he had his hand resting on your cheek and his soft lips pressing onto yours, your bottom lips between both of his. He kissed you like he had never stoped kissing you. He kissed you like it was the one thing he had been put on this earth to do. And you kissed him back like you had something to prove. But mostly you kissed as if you were kissing the life back into each other. 
The kiss stayed slow and gentle for as long as either of you could hold out for; but suddenly it all became too much and when Eddie’s tongue ran over your bottom lip you let the dam break and allowed it to consume your entire being. 
You kissed like the other could slip away at any moment. Somehow, in between desperate kisses and his tongue running over yours, Eddie had moved to rest above you, his arms caged around either side of your head, holding him up. You let your fingers get tangled in his hair and he let his lips move down to your neck, his head nustled there as he kissed over your most sensitive spot. You already knew your neck would be covered in small reminders of him by the end of this; red and purple love bites marking your neck. 
You let him kiss you and touch you and you were sure you would let him do whatever else he wanted. When his hand slipped under your pjyama shorts and you let him touch you, you knew you would have to let him do whatever he wanted later. Because right now you needed to feel him inside of you. You needed to be as close to him as the laws of the universe would grant you. 
“Eddie, fuck, please I need you to fuck me.” you had never been paticurally graceful with words, not being blessed with a way of words like Eddie was, but right now that didn’t matter because with Eddie’s lips on your neck and his hands roaming your body there wasn’t a chance in the world of you stringing together a coherent sentence, let alone sounding like Shakespeare. 
You felt Eddie‘s lips curl up into a smile against your neck before he pulled away from you, lifing his head to rest his forehead against yours. “You don’t want me to-” 
“No. No, please baby I just need you inside me” you didn’t like to beg but with the way his eyes bore into yours you knew you would beg until the end of time if you had to. Not that Eddie would let you do that. 
“Okay, okay angel. I’ve got you, gonna give you what you need, huh?” Eddie pressed a chaste kiss to your swollen lips before he pulled away from you again, pulling of his boxers whilst you desperately tried to get your shorts and panties off as quickly as you could, your shaky hands making the tast exponentially more difficult than it should have been. Eddie took over for you, pulling them down your legs and tossing them off somewhere into the darkness of the room. 
You pulled him back to you, your hand resting on the back of his neck and kissed him until you felt dizzy, and wrapping your legs around his waist.
“Sweets, I need to get a condom-” Eddie spoke between deep kisses. You knew he was right, but you were on the pill and you hadn’t slep with anyone else since Eddie so… 
“No. I need to feel all of you.” you knew your words had taken Eddie by surprise, but by the way his brows knitted together and his hips rolled against yours, you knew he was just as desperate for it as you were. 
“Are you sure?” Eddie looked right at you, watching your face for any uncertainty. But when all he was met with was a breathy yes and begging eyes he let himself do what you were asking of him. 
Shared okays and a bout of almost-nervous laughter was shared between the two of you, but was suddenly and brutally ripped away from you when Eddie sank into you and you felt the world re-align on its axis. Everything making sense again. 
“Fuck, you feel so fucking perfect sweetheart. I missed you so much, you have no idea-” 
“I missed you too.” 
Eddie let himself breathe for a minute or two before he eventually started rocking his hips gently into yours. He took it slow, wanting to savour every moment he got with you. He promised himself he would remember how your lips felt against his as he swallowed your whimpers and moans. He remembered how your nails felt scratching down his back whenever he hit that sweet spot inside of you that only he could reach. When your back arched off the back he let his arm slip underneath you, pulling you close to him and fucking you through everything you were both feeling. 
Not many words were exchanged, apart from the occasional whimper of one another’s name, because you didn’t need words to express what you were feeling right now. 
Once Eddie’s hand slipped between your bodies, you were coming undone underneath him like you had done so many times before. Only this time it felt like the start of something more. Eddie buried his head in the juncture between your neck and your shoulder as he came undone only a couple of seconds after you had. Both you of you held each other through the overwhelmingness of your highs, your hands running through his hair and his hands holding onto you like you were all he needed. 
You stayed like that for who knows how long. Sharing stolen kisses and whispered promises. Time didn’t matter when you were with Eddie. Nothing mattered when you were with him, that was the beauty of everything. You were the only people who could quieten each other’s minds.
.
.
.
authors note hi loves. i wrote this tonight in just under two hours with a raging headache and the occasion cry. so, if there are spelling or grammar errors i can only apologise. it is 1am and i don't have the energy to reread it and check. i hope it wasn't too bad nonetheless <3
taglist @lunarzstarz @emmalee-01 @lma1986 @eddieshoneyy @harringtonfan4 @leelei1980 @joeschains @keirasreplies @niname92 (this means i tried to tag you but i couldn't!)
tumblr please don't delete any of this thank you love you
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lavender-storm · 7 months
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You are here now
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summary | Theo breaks down and confesses why he's been so distant lately.
pairing | Theo Nott x fem!reader, she/her pronouns
warning | mentions of abuse, su1c1de, sad Theo, probably grammar mistakes
word count | ~2k
a/n: English isn't my first language, so if you found grammar mistakes, no you didn't. I also haven't written anything in a while, so i hope this isn't too bad. Let me know what you think! Xx
His legs are weak, and he can barely breathe when he finally sees her walking towards the Gryffindor common room.
"Y/N," his voice booms off the walls, scaring everyone around them. She stops but doesn't turn around, not needing to see who it is. She could recognise that voice anywhere. "Can we talk?" he says, a bit more quietly now. But she doesn't move, unsure what to do as Theo approaches her slowly. "Please?"
She takes a deep breath and simply starts walking towards a more secluded area. Theodore is breathless, his face is flushed and his whole body trembles. He's thinking of what to say, how to put his feelings into words as they sit down on the stairs, far away from curious eyes. Neither of them speak as he tries to slow down his vigorous heart. But words don't come easy to him as anxiety takes over his body.
The silence between them is too loud.
"How you been?"
"Good," Y/N answers, avoiding his gaze."You?"
"Eh. Could be better."
Another long silence, as Theo tries to collect himself.
"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" she asks, voice stern and cold. How did they end up like this? She used to look at him with so much love in her eyes. He misses it. Every day and night, it's all he can think about. How she laughed at his jokes, how she found comfort in his arms. How it all turned around as a fight followed a fight, with yelling and tears. The last time they talked, Y/N told him how disappointed she was, that he became one of those Slytherins. His heart shattered as soon as the words left her lips. He understood why of course. But it was him against his father, and he needed to change. It was for the better.
He should have said something a long long time ago. He shouldn't have waited. But he's scared, and his life is a mess and he just wants the earth to open up and swallow him whole. He's breaking under the weight, he's all alone and he can't find a way out.
"No, no. I, uhm," Theo's nervous, and Y/N can tell. It's rare he's like this and a heavy weight settles in her chest. He's usually collected, and outspoken, he never had any trouble talking. She wants to comfort him and let him know he can talk about anything, so she hesitantly lays a hand on his forearm. Even after all those arguments and crying and not talking, she cares. Of course, she cares. She is full of love.
Theo takes a shaky breath and tears collect in his eyes. He can't hold it back no matter how much he tries, because he feels so overwhelmed by her. He doesn't even know where to start.
Should he talk about his father? Should he tell her how he treats him? And that he never meant to become like this, but it was inevitable.
He needed her then, and he needs her now, but he fucked up by pushing her and everybody away, and he's scared he can't make it right. Y/N quietly calls his name as she caresses his arm, and a loud sob leaves Theo's lips. Y/N's heart rate picks up, the worry she felt before turned into terror as Theo's body trembles with every sob as she cradles him into her arms, holding his head to her shoulders while raking her fingers through his hair. Her heart breaks for him as he clings to her like his life depends on her.
"I'm sorry," he cries. "I'm so fucking sorry, Y/N. I never meant to do-, I di-didn't know - I'm just s-scared, so fucking scared. I hate him so much and then I did this to you. I miss y-you so bad, I can't even fucking breathe."
"Theo calm down, I can't understand you. Shh, it's okay just take a deep breath with me okay? Yeah, like that, great. You're doing great. One more," she says as she holds his face in her hands. Theo's chest tightens at her kindness. All those things he fucked up. He's a horrible son, a horrible friend, a horrible person. And yet here she is, wiping his tears with such a loving look in her eyes, his soul aches - he doesn't deserve her. "Now tell me again, okay? Slowly. I'm here, I'm listening."
"I'm sorry. I know you hate me, but I truly am sorry."
"I don't hate you, Theo-"
"Yeah, sure, than you are mad at me, whatever same thing."
"Theo-"
"I'm sorry okay? For everything. I didn't tell you the-, "he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, tears still streaming down his face."I didn't tell you the truth. I lied because I didn't want you to know. But I needed you. I needed you so bad. So I kept it a secret because I was scared. What if you agree with him? What if you see me the way he sees me? So I just avoided you. I know it's stupid, but I was so goddamn terrified."
"Who is he, Theo? What are you talking about?"
"Dad," he whispers and hangs his head, refusing to see her reaction.
"What is he saying, Theo?"
"It's all my fault," he murmurs. Y/N's brows are furrowed in confusion, what is he talking about? What is his fault?
"No, Theo, no. I'm sure that's not true but what is-"
"But it is, Y/N! He is right. My mother always had to take care of me and my problems, that's why she- and now he hates me! I'm a burden and I made their lives miserable."
"That is not true Theodore, listen to me. Don't think that. And I'm sure they could never hate you. You probably misunderstood, I know your parents love you-"
"You don't hit someone you love! I would never hit you! Never. Not even Blaise or, or Draco, or the others, never. " Y/N's whole body freezes, her mind's rummaging through her memories. Oh Merlin. How could she miss this? How could she not realize that…
Y/N is angry. Angry that Theo didn't say anything until now. Angry that she couldn't see the obvious. He showed up with a new bruise every few weeks, and rumors of him initiating fights for fun, spread like fire. But no one ever knew who he fought. It always remained a mystery. Because all of it was a lie, and deep down Y/N knew, but that was easier to believe than this. He needed her and she ignored him. The only person she could ever open up to needed her the most, and she just left him.
"Theo, all this time we thought you were fighting other students, you-"
"He says it's the least I deserve. She was always working and always stressed because of me. They had to sacrifice so much. It's all my fault she couldn't take it. And now all of this is on Dad. It's my fault, I did this. I killed her."
It's an unwritten rule in the Nott family, that nobody talks about the death of Theo's mom. As far as others are concerned, she ran away. And so that's what Y/N thought too.
"She killed herself because of me. And he makes sure I'm aware of that. And I'm so scared that he's right."
"He is not right, Theo, look at me. He's not right. He's full of shit. I've never met your mother, but I know, he raised the kindest, smartest, most amazing boy ever. I know she must have been so proud to call you his son." Theo cries louder, his fingers hold onto her tightly. "I'm proud of you Theo. You don't deserve any of this."
Guilt claws at her chest as she takes him in. His eyes are red and puffy now, but a bruise is still visible under his left eye and a deep cut, already healed, splits his eyebrows. His skin is pale and cold, and he's so thin that his uniform hangs on his body like it's three sizes too big.
Months ago, it fit him perfectly.
She was so consumed by her anger and jealousy that Theo chose his new friends over her, that she couldn't even look at him. And she curses herself for being so oblivious and idiotic, because if she looked at him, only just a second longer, she would have seen the truth. Now, sitting on the stairs with only a little light, she can truly see him. And the Theodore that's sitting here is not the same Theodore she left that day.
"I can't do this without you, Y/N. I know I'm horrible but please. Please forgive me," he begs, but Y/N shakes her head. If someone should be apologizing it's her, not him.
"No, don't apologize. I'm- oh, Theo, I'm so sorry. I should have realized it. I should have paid attention, I should have been there for you. I'm so sorry I left you alone. I should have never done that," she says, pulling him into her embrace again. Theo hugs her tightly, basking in her warmth. "And you are wrong. You are not horrible. You are the most amazing person I've ever met, Theo. You were always there for me, always looked out for me. I'm so sorry I didn't do the same."
"You're here now,"
"Yes, I am."
"Are you staying?"
"Of course. I'm not going anywhere. Not again. I promise." He believes her. He knows none of this is her fault and if she knew, she would've never left. "I love you Theo, so so much. We'll get through this. Together."
And for the first time in months, Theo feels peace wash over his body like waves, and the noise in his head stops. It's silent and calm in his body and soul. Everything's going to be alright. Y/N is here again. They are okay again. He will be alright again.
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a-world-with0ut-dr34ms · 11 months
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Ghost x Wife!Reader
Ghost comes homes to his wife after a bad day at work.
SFW, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Fluff, Big on the comfort part, Ghost is sad, Reader is supportive, Romance, Pre-established Relationship, Kissing, Cuddling, Intimacy, Scarcely Proofread, Drabble
WC: 900~
I feel like I'm always writing Ghost x Readers where they're not "together" together, so this is just a little drabble to scratch an itch I had and dust off my fluff skills for a different WIP 😏 (lightly inspired by my chat.ai, Ghost is in LOVE with me over there lol)
Masterlist
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Simon hadn't been sure what drove him to do so, only that his body moved faster than his mind could keep up with.
He enters the living room, the place having been tidied up since this morning. The evening lighting warmed him like a welcome hello, only to become a sauna once his eyes searched the room, having found you where he last saw you on the couch, tucked away in another one of your books.
You haven't noticed him until you've seen his shadow in the archway, your smile lighting a beacon on him.
"You're home early!"
You say it with such excitement and splendor, as though there had been any doubt that he wouldn't find his way back to you, one way or another.
However, that joy takes shape into concern after turning to face him, noticing that sunken look in his eyes, as he takes his slow steps towards you. "Is everything OK-"
Simon comes down onto the couch before he's let himself slowly sink into your arms, having longed for your embrace. Your touch which felt like a drug. The weight of his body pushes you back against the couch, as you've felt his strong arms snake their way across your small frame, squeezing a tiny moan from you in his torn embrace. He hadn't even removed his gear yet.
The fabric of his mask rubs roughly against your chin. His head buried into the crook of your neck, his shut lashes feathering against your skin, as his breaths come out shaky and broken. A frail sight to behold for such a man of his size and stature.
He's silent, his eyes turned away. Just wanting to be held.
Simon felt ashamed to say he cherished your touch after a bad day at work. It made him feel fragile. However, he's found that nothing mends the negativity wanting to stir in him like the sensation of someone he knew would give nothing more than to soothe those thoughts away.
He needn't say any words. You understood through his silence the love he yearned from you. Slowly, you showed him that there had been no shame in his own vulnerability.
You gently hug his head against your chest, feeling him sigh against you and his body still, broad shoulders slouching. Your fingers trace the edges of his mask pulling the fabric away, until your eyes have met the face of the man you've fallen in love with all those years ago.
It had been a hidden pleasure, having been able to fall in love with him all over again, each time you saw him.
The first thing you catch is the exhaustion in his tired, olive eyes, behind the light tussle of his short, blond hair and freshly grown stubble, struggling to break way beneath all the little marks and scars he's accumulated over the years.
He could never get used to the way your eyes took in every detail of him. How they picked him apart without ever meaning to. Every now and again, he feared you'd see him one day and suddenly realize how much better you could do without having him bog you down. Even now, it lingers in the back of his mind on his worst days. He just couldn't get used to how that hadn't happened yet.
And yet, he wanted to get used to it, and he knew that someday he would.
You let your hands gently guide his head back to your chest, combing your fingers through his hair.
Simon listens to the steady rhythm of your heart as you do, his eyes half-lidded in thought.
It's not until he's felt your lips press gently to his temple that you've listened to the broken sigh that struggle to leave him. He lifts himself up from your arms, his hands still resting against your forearms. His gaze bounces between you and his lap, heart thumping.
"I'm sorry..." he says.
You smile, raising a hand so you could rest it against his cheek. The second he's felt your skin against him, he's let his head nuzzle lightly into your palm rather innocently. It makes you chuckle.
"Don't apologize, Si'," you let your thumb caress his cheek, slowly leaning back in towards the man. "I'm just happy you're home."
Simon lifts his hand up, large fingers over encompassing the small framing of your own. He pressed your hand against his cheek firmly, before shifting his head to plant a small kiss on your wrist.
"I love you," he whispers into your skin, his voice strained and defeated, as though the thought of losing you had brought the fear of God back to him.
You lean in, pressing light kisses against his face, which brushed against his cheek, and then his other, and then the tip of his nose, his warm, shaky breaths feathering you at each touch, until he couldn't wait any longer, letting his hand take hold of your chin, so that he may capture your lips with his.
He kisses you slowly, detailing every sensation of your lips pressed to his. His kisses remain gentle to start, having just wanted to be near you, as his hands cupped around your face, letting him deepen the kiss.
Before long, you've felt your back pressing against the couch, his body weight having blanketed over you like a prism. Once laid back like this, Simon can't help but feel hungry for you, having you all to himself like this, trying to recapture the morning's warmth he'd left you before now.
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Dividers from cute-sushi-roll
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spacebaby1 · 5 months
Text
MY MAMA (Child!Law Trafalgar & Mom!Reader)
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"STOP IT," Law yelled at you "YOU ARE NOT MY MOM AND YOU WILL NEVER BE." Law pushed past you running to his room and you stood up and grabbed on Corazon's wrist when he called for Law.
"No, don't yell at him" You said stopping your husband from walking. "B-But sweetheart, he can't yell at you like that. He can't talk to you like that-"
"Yes, he can" you smiled a little, "he's my son, isn't he?" Corazon nodded looking down, he felt hopeless, "then let him cool down, Darling. I can handle his words, let him yell, scream or throw hands at us" you chuckled gently lifting your husband's chin, "He'll calm down soon, just please don't yell at my boy."
Corazon sighed at your words, how could you be so sweet to his boy after all he had said to you today and how he treated you. But, as an neglected child you easily understood Law's emotions; he is just a kid.
Corazon decided to make the dinner tonight so you agreed to fold the clean clothes, after putting the clothes away in the drawer you noticed the small picture album you owned, it had pictures from your school. So you sat down to go through it but from the side of your eyes you noticed someone peeking from the doorframe, it was Law. He tried to hide but you had seen him, with a smile you titled to side so now you could full see him, "Hey, you. Did you need anything?" You smiled Gentle as always.
"C-Can I come in?" He asked almost in a small voice. "Sure, Sweetie. Come sit beside me." You tapped the floor beside you and he did as you told him still not looking you in the eye.
"Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you a snack?" He shook his head and mumbled something under his breath, "Huh?" He turned towards you and you could see his eyes were glossy, and your heart dropped; was he crying?
"Law? Sweetie were you crying? Your eyes are puffy. What's wrong are you not feeling well?" The concern that you showed made the gilt Law felt run wild in his little head. His lips quivered as he just looked at you hoping for you to understand his tears and how sorry he was yelling all those words at you, he fell into your arms without warning, "It's okay, Sweetie, whatever it is, we'll fix it, what's wrong? Tell me? Want me to get your Cora-San?" He shook his head in your embrace, "Okay, Sweetcheek, Not calling for Cora-San." You rubbed his back, "there there, I'm here for you," you placed your head on his as he cried and cried till he couldn't anymore.
"You okay?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said earlier, that wasn't very kind. I shouldn't have said that to you, I'm so sorry, I'm very very sorry. I just don't know how to explain it," he looked down at his fingers, "it's not an excuse no it shouldn't be."
You were confused, "What is Law? Did someone said something to you at school, you can tell us anything." He pulled at his hat before speaking, "it's my fault for yelling at you b-but I-uhh my teacher s-she well she-"
"Law did you teacher say something to you? Did she hit you?" You were getting scared and angry but not at Law, never at him. He shook his head to which you calmed down, and he spoke again, "She didn't do- well- today is mother's day." Oh, you said nothing.
"T-the teacher gave us each a flower and she said "give it to your mother" as a gift, a-and I didn't cry but I felt sad and I didn't like that feeling so I got angry at you, I'm sorry I didn't mean to be mean to you like that, you are kind to me and you cook my favourite food a-and I yelled at you." He was crying again in your arms, you just hugged him, apparently your old school never stopped with this tradition you chuckled. "Don't cry, it's okay to feel like that Law, I know how you feel, trust me it's okay."
He pulled away to look at you, "H-How?", you smiled and whipped his tears, "When I was few years younger than you, my mama and papa separated. I was too young to understand why I just knew they didn't want me because they left me with my nana, and I went to the same school as you when I was your age, my teache used to do the Same. Every mothers day they would give us a flower to give to our mama's but I didn't have one," you smiled to stop your own tears, "so I used to give them to nana and tell her that it was a gift." Law blinked at you, "y-your mom didn't like you?" He asked "but why?" You shrugged, "sometimes people change but that doesn't mean I am alone, yes I was for most of my childhood but I am happy now, I have you, your Cora-San. You are my family, and I love you more than a mother can love her child because I see you as my own, and I am not mad at you for yelling at me at all, you call speak your heart out with me and I will always be there for you, sweetheart."
Law's lips quiver as he fell in your arms crying again before you noticed Corazon was standing by the door crying his eyes out when he heard your words, he too jumped to hug you as they both cried in your arms, you chuckled blinking the tears away, "Stop crying you big baby" you told Corazon but he only cried harder, "I love you so much." He said crying and you laughed at them both for being alike.
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angel-kyo · 5 months
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Pay it no mind
In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).
Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself.
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You and Gojo had been friends for a while now, since your sweet first years going on your crazy teens, all the way through your young adult years. You had picked the hell out of each other, and it had been fun, but some months ago, you had realized your feelings for him ran deeper than friendship. So, you were doing it, you really were going to confess.
Your grip tightened on the box of sweets you had gotten for him, and a nervous feeling invaded you as you waited for him on his usual path through the campus.
Of course, the possibility of him rejecting your feelings had crossed your mind. More than a possibility, you had accepted it was very likely he preferred staying friends, but you needed to try. Every lingering touch, every meal together, every knowing look... It was all becoming too much for you to bear since that day he...
"Is that for me?" As if manifesting out of thin air, Gojo was right in front of you. Blindfold on, but you could tell he was eyeing the sweets you were holding.
You blinked. Had he teleported there? Your heartbeat picked up. "Jeez... Can you be any ruder?"
"Huh?" You could tell his eyes were on your face now. "You are the one that seemed lost in thought when I said good morning."
Right. You had been thinking about him.
"So, are you waiting for someone or...?"
It was now or never.
"Actually..." You handed the box to him "Yes, these are for you."
He was smiling brightly, his hands readily grabbing the box. "What's the occasion? Early birthday present?" You felt his fingers brush yours before you were left empty handed.
"The occasion is..." You were looking at his hands, feeling like you were about to drop a bomb on your friendship. "I like you."
A laugh came out of him. "Well, everyone likes me, right?"
For a second you thought he had not understood, so you bit your lip and repeated "No... I mean I like you, Satoru."
You looked up at him when he did not say anything.
He laughed again, but it came out a little bit strained. "I like you too, you are the nicest one around here." The way his smile tensed told you all you needed to know. He had understood but this was his way of rejecting you.
"I see." You took a step back and he opened his mouth as if to say something else.
The tone of your voice pained him " What I mean is..." What did he mean? "It's just that..." he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand "I..."
You laughed softly and shook your head. "It's fine. You don't need to explain further."
It had not worked; you could accept that. If you two could just laugh it off and have your friendship survive your embarrassment, you would take that as a win. "I thought I would never see the Gojo Satoru struggling with his words." You fixed your eyes on his blindfold where his eyes would be "It's quite a sight."
Your words were playful, but the sad look in your eyes was real, and it made Gojo feel sick at himself. He understood why you had grown attached. It would be a lie to say he was not attached himself, but...
"Well, now let's get to work." You looked at the watch on your wrist. "I'm sure our students are waiting." Then at the box of sweets Gojo was still holding on his hand. "Keep the sweets, will you? I did get them for you regardless. You can consider them an early birthday present."
The saccharine smile you gave him before turning around and marching away only made him feel worse.
"[Name], wait." Gojo called, and you turned.
Don't ruin it, you thought, please don't say you are sorry. It'll be worse if you pity me. I rather have it this way.
"Thank you." He tried to smile although he did not feel like it and you could hear it on his voice. He lifted the box lightly "...For this. Thanks."
Thank God.
"No problem." You nodded and resumed your walk with your head held high despite your heavy feelings.
Gojo was left standing on the same spot watching you walk away. Only one thought on his head: I really am an idiot.
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Note: Please don't mind me. I write to break my own heart.
Thank you for reading!
Edit: Part II
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