#idk if this is a me problem or not

[lazylittledragon]

isn't it weird how if you get up at 7 or 8, do your work all day, then have free time and go to bed at 11 that's absolutely fine

but if i said i get up at 10, do fun stuff in the morning then work in the evening and go to bed late, i could be called lazy, nevermind that i'm getting just as much or MORE work done as i would in a traditional work day

#ramble #idk if this is a me problem or not #i've tried to do the early rise early bed thing again and again and it just does not work for me doing freelance right now #maybe it's bc i used to work at a bar so i'm more comfortable being active in the evening #i love working at night because there's less going on to distract me #what used to happen is i would get up early then fight executive dysfunction all day saying i couldn't do fun stuff until i did my work #then my will to work would hit at 10pm and i'd be up till 2am anyway #right now my routine is waking up later and playing a game or knitting for an hour or so and then working in the afternoon and evening #something something capitalism and 9-5 and adhd don't go together #this sounds like i'm just making excuses but it works and i'm actually getting shit done and sleeping enough so i don't see the problem #i just figured i'm probably going to sit and do nothing for a few hours in the morning anyway so i might as well give myself permission to

[variksel]

i hate you ai art i hate you "unalive" i hate you youtube premium i hate you twitter 8$ checkmark i hate you nfts i hate you therapy app advertisements i hate you non-chronological timelines i hate you instagram reels i hate you subtle tiktok filters that cant be turned off i hate you family bloggers i hate you ads on true crime episodes i hate you facebook i hate you vr glasses on chickens i hate you dystopian social media

#sorry but genuinely sometimes i feel like we live in a fucking dystopia #i get ads of chat bots designed to look like cute girls who will listen to your problems and it. god #its so unbelievably strange in some indescribable way #how am i supposed to explain that the word unalive makes me want to tear my hair out #vent #rant #idk

[relaxxattack]

for a while there i was sympathetic to tumblr because of how much they’re in debt; i was kind of like “well of course they’re absolutely desperate for new users, they literally need the money or else tumblr goes down forever”. and then suddenly today it hit me that there’s actually no fucking reason for that debt to be causing these ui changes? the userbase has been INCREDIBLY clear about what they want from tumblr over the years, not to mention clear about the fact that even twitter people don’t need this place to look like twitter. it actually would be very… EASY? for them to just make changes in a direction people would actually be HAPPY with?

for fuck’s sake there were people trying to organize a “crab day” for tumblr despite tumblr doing nothing but telling us to go fuck ourselves for months on end. there were people spending hundreds of dollars on check marks just for the glee of MAKING FUN of twitter. can you IMAGINE how much money this userbase would donate to tumblr if they actually made ui updates geared toward what people have been asking for?

if tumblr actually crowdsourced ideas or even just LISTENED to their userbase it may have been possible for them to make way more money than they’re begging for now, they just insist on trying to drive their actual demographic and loyal userbase out for literally no reason

#tumblr #idk that radio shack post made me think #how much money could tumblr make if they fixed problems we wanted them to?

[cryptcatz]

question: do ppl ACTUALLY say things they don’t mean when they’re angry? or is that just an excuse after letting something true slip? i wouldn’t ever say something i don’t mean in anger, so the concept confuses me.

but something was said to me that is bothering me, though apparently was said in an argument and wasn’t meant. but i don’t rlly believe it wasn’t like, deep down true thoughts/feelings??? anyone have any insight? anyone say things they don’t mean in anger?

EDIT: this was a hastily worded post that i didn’t expect to get notes. this is a genuine question asked in good faith that i got a lot of amazing answers to!

also re: the many ppl saying “OP is lying about not saying things they don’t mean in anger because everyone does it”— i genuinely have never done that. if i say something mean while angry, i meant it. that’s literally why i asked this question and why the concept confuses me, because i wouldn’t do something like that so i wanted perspective from people who do it. idk why y’all can’t believe that lmao not everyone is as prone to anger and outbursts

#i know im asking The Autism Website but lol will tag autism stuff cuz i think my confusion is related. idk #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic community #autistic problems #autistic life #autism problems #neurodivergence #neurodiversesquad #personal #btw i do wanna note that this post is abt an abusive person tho #not everyone who does this is abusive! but in my specific case yes #just a warning cuz some stuff being said to me can be a lil uncomfy when saying i should forgive them #i HAVE. MANY times. too many #the anger post #< if you wanna hear more of my thoughts on this #and others thoughts

[collophora]

Sleep time.

#star wars #the bad batch #star wars fanart #the bad batch fanart #tbb #tbb fanart #I was trying coloring methods #idk #they still rely on me doing a clean sketch #and I'm really bad at doing clean sketches #and color tooo #It felt like most of the time I success randomly without knowing why #which is a problem if you wanna do it on command to get a job ya know #or do commissions #oh btw I finally cut my hair #I baked sweet potatoes cinnamon rolls too #Ok bye

[sojourner-between-worlds]

Even if you, personally, don't hate Discord's new UI, I am begging ya'll to still send them the following feedback:

"The changes made to Dark Mode are an accessibility issue due to the lack of a low contrast option for those who need it."

The previous dark gray was never ideal, tbh, but it was still worlds better than what we have now. As someone who can feasibly get by with the new dark mode but vastly prefers low contrast, and as someone who knows people who do need low contrast -- please tell them about this problem.

#discord #its all terrible but most of it i can get over #this i will not #its a problem and they NEED TO KNOW its a problem #disability #autism #autistic #random ramblings #PLEASE mind me #disability visibility #disability advocacy #idk what all to tag this with but hopefully thatll at least get it seen a little bit

[u3pxx]

KIM KITSURAGI - “Is that. My kineema.”

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Something in him is about to break, *big time*.

EMPATHY - And it’s not going to be pretty, do something!

- DRAMA [Formidable] - Everything is fine!

- “Sure is.”

DRAMA [Formidable: Failure] - Surely he’s aware that he’s not the *only* person in the world who owns a Kineema?

YOU - “Is it really *yours*? I mean, plenty of people have their own Kineemas, right? Like working men, government offices, uh, firefighters I guess, maybe even animal control people? Exactly! A million different people who could’ve driven it into the uh…”

DRAMA - Pause, my liege! Ixnay on the Ineemakay!

YOU - “It could even be our *mysterious* joyrider!”

KIM KITSURAGI - Your frenzied babbling falls deaf to the lieutenant's ears. Instead, he approaches the broken vehicle, sunken in the ice. He moves with a caution and gentleness you haven’t seen him display before.

INLAND EMPIRE - It must be cold and lonely down there, in the icy water. Maybe he could sense its sorrow, calling to him…

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - His hands, which are always stiffly placed behind his back, are trembling.

ENDURANCE - This is the shuffle of a tired, tired man.

HALF LIGHT - He’s going to do something drastic because of you. Oh god, terrible! You’re a terrible liar! You can’t look at this, you just can’t!

VOLITION [Formidable: Success] - It's not *you* who drove his kineema into the sea. You have plenty of faults, but this one is decidedly not yours.

KIM KITSURAGI - He kneels down with his head bowed, casting his face in shadow. He plants a hand on the ice to stabilize himself, squinting to get a better view of the motor carriage. “Detective, it says ‘57’ on it.”

YOU - Sweat drips down your brow, and you feel a terrible headache coming. “Maybe our joyrider has an affinity for that number?”

LOGIC - He's not stupid, he knows that it's not that.

KIM KITSURAGI - “57.”

YOU - “What about 57?”, you brace yourself.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Precinct 57.”

YOU - You wince. “Kim, look-”

KIM KITSURAGI - “When I woke up in the Whirling-in-Rags with no memory of what happened during the days before, I've taken note that something of mine has gone missing.” He grits his teeth. "A very. Important. Something."

He runs his hands over his face, messing his already unkempt hair in the process. Regret creeps up on his features. “God. Fuck. They’re going to fire me over this, they’re not going to hear me out.”

EMPATHY - Desperation settles in the lieutenant's tone. Sadly, you find yourself in agreement, even if you don’t want it to be the truth.

YOU - “People are more valuable than machines, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Not people like me.” He rasps.

YOU - “…”

KIM KITSURAGI - Before you can say anything more, you fail to notice the lieutenant carefully walking onto the edge of the ice. He looks over the frigid water, a dizzying blue that mirrors and distorts his exhausted face back to him.

YOU - “Kim?”

KIM KITSURAGI - Seconds pass as he looks to be contemplating something. Out of nowhere, he casually takes another step where the ice ends and the sea begins. It happens all too quick for the lieutenant to even voice a call for help— if he even wanted to — his body plunging into the cold water before your eyes.

YOU - “KIM!!!!”

uhhh bonus stuff? sorry i have swap au brainworms pfttt

(im not sure what skills kim has at the moment so rn he only has narration as his inner monologue ok whoops, i would like to keep harry as the guy who thinks in dialogue trees so im still figuring it out pfttt)

also, this was done bc i wanted to expand on these old scribbles of mine, just like an idea, i just think that he'd be having an even worse time wheezes

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #den's disco swap #disco elysium role swap #HI nobody look at the fact that. i am a novice writer at best DFGHJFGH #i had idea for some comic dialogue but it ended up being this instead whoops. i mean i could still draw this as a comic #anyways. i was like. trying to reverse engineer my idea of how kim can change into his bomber jacket instead of his uniform. #which. i dont think you can do with just simple convincing bc that thing is fused to him in spirit so there has to be like a good reason wh #oh it gets ruined! how? it gets like wet or smth! how'd that happened? he threw himself into the sea #also isnt it fitting that my memory problems is making me not remember the things that happen in disco elysium very well wheezes #so whoops if the characterization is a lil off lmaoooooo #but i have been trying to figure out how i want harry to be in this swap au #i dont think he's as well as he wants you to believe he is. and just the image of him pushing this 'youre allowed to be in denial about + #this' to kim about the kineema was so vivid in my head and idk if that tracks but hell. its in there now dfghdjfg #starry don't look #sunnysidedraws #sunnysidedisco

[yaolmao]

simp

#I HATE COLORING I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE #my friends bought me an Apple Pencil and omgggg I’ve never had pressure before in my life #this changes everything #I can actually put my hand down on my iPad to doodle?? #I’ve gotten so used to hovering my hand like what is going on #anyways 15!chuuya is actually amazing #I’ve made a recent discovery that I’m a lot similar to Dazai than I thought and idk how I feel about that cause he’s such a brat #ive gotten to the point that I’d actually talk to him on those character ai’s and it’s actually so embarrassing like it’s nothing #like the actual bsd dazai but I’d actually rather talk to a robot than a real person about my problems #I like kids being kids so I’m always down to draw 15!skk #chuuya nakahara #dazai Osamu #bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #myart #I’m gonna post and pass out now

[devilcat3d]

theres this horrid assumption in the fashion industry that the only people on the planet that want to wear cool boots and shoes are women and that the only women that want to wear these cool as fuck boots and shoes have really small feet. they dont make cool shoes for those like me who were born with larger feet and its so annoying and makes shoe shopping a gigantic pain. i can theoretically find cool shoes but it requires an enormous amount of effort especially when the styles i want to wear just dont exist in "mens" sizes. anyway we need to make bigger shoes end of rant

#this is still a problem for me even tho my feet have shrunk on estrogen like idk man #im looking at you converse. you make the coolest looking shoe on the planet and tell me to go fuck myself when i check the sizes 😔

[hellyeahsickaf]

#chronic pain #chronic illness #disability #cfs #actually disabled #chronic fаtiguе ѕуndrоmе #fibromyalgia #spoonie #me/cfs #cfs/me #cpunk #cripplepunk #cripple punk #long covid #made this out of curiosity really. get curious about the community #i know it can be gray it is for me but whatever age you would consider yourself disabled? #like i developed fibro around age 13-14 but before that I had health problems #just idk if I'd say i had a disability before that?

[buggachat]

(random s5 finale musings) tbh I don't think Marinette chose to keep The Secrets™ from Adrien because Gabriel asked her to. I feel like Marinette keeping secrets like that is so consistent with her character; she hates giving people bad news, she hates rocking the boat, she hates upsetting people, she always chooses to keep any 'controversial' information to herself for as long as she can get away with (examples: bubbler scarf, telling Queen Bee she was benched, confessing to Adrien, warning Chat Noir about Scarabella or Rena Furtive, never told Chat Noir about Chat Blanc, etc) that I just totally believe she would've done it either way. She was even already having nightmares about Adrien hating her for finding out she defeated his father, so I feel like Gabriel's request was moreso giving her a go-ahead than it was a primary deciding factor, yknow?

#ml s5 spoilers #tbh half the time when thinking about it I forget that gabriel asked her to do it at all #because it just feels like such a Marinette™ thing to do to me lol #to be fair maybe I'm downplaying it? I do think Gabriel's plea struck some emotional chord with her too and helped push her that direction #but again I. totally believe she'd do it either way #and I do strongly believe that her decision is moreso ''I don't want to hurt Adrien'' than it is ''I want to honor Gabriel's final wish'' #she loves to avoid verbal/emotional problems and hoooo boy idk a worse verbal/emotion problem than #telling your boyfriend that his entire life is a lie and that he's not entirely human and that he was abused and controlled and puppeteered #all his life and also that his father was a terrorist and that she saw his mom's corpse in the basement #I mean. I don't think I'd have the emotional maturity to break that to someone either and I'm not.... FOURTEEN.... LOL

[future-crab]

It's been said before, it will be said again, but it's still worth saying: the fact that art centering on straight romance is allowed to just be bad, but art with queer romance in it always has to be indicative of A Serious Problem With the Way We Tell Queer Stories makes being a queer person making queer art deeply stressful

#just saw smthing about red white and royal blue #and like i never watched/read that one so maybe everything ppl say about it is true #and i never watched heartbreaker or love simon so maybe those ones are also genuinely a sign of a serious problem #but idk. the fact that this happens every damn time makes me think that maybe queer stories are being held to different standards #and it's exhausting writing stuff while having a chorus of voices in the back of my head saying i'm misrepresenting my own identities and #making the whole community look bad by writing mediorcre romance #and knowing that even though i'm neither straight nor a girl there WILL be ppl calling me a straight girl fetishizing queer relationships #lgbt #queer community #writer stuff #idk what else to tag this #asexual #bisexual #nonbinary #venttag

[chiricat]

ryomina demons are winning

#does anyone here like them idk. theyre funny #putting off finishing p3re to draw these so i don't have to be sad just yet #cat’s art #ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #makoto yuki #minato arisato #p3 #persona 3 #p3re #p3 reload #sorry for traditional sketch stuff... idk i just feel like i do better on paper even tho its literally the same style #like i can just get the lines better on paper. i think my brush is probably too thick digitally if i'm having this problem lol #makoto makes me so emo u guys have no idea. i didn't quite get this guy in the beginning but now... #full force understanding of a character. hes. he :( (incoherent sobbing) #tag ramble again SORRY I UEBRO4Y39NRMFMT #oh yeah the period thing going around is so funny. PERSONA 3 PERIOD SIMULATOR

[darqx]

Aren't you tired of being nice?

#boyfriend to death #art #idk man i just wanted to draw the whole fire backlight look again #tho the problem with colouring like this is you lose a lot of detail at the front lol #he didnt start the fire 🎶 #it was always burning 🎶 #first thing i've properly drawn in about a month \o/ #august was a bit of a clusterfuck for me for multiple reasons #on a side note i do have a bunch of asks ive been meaning to answer since months ago so theyre coming at some point #...i forgot...his sunglasses #just pretend he has them in a pocket or something

[lazylittledragon]

y'know what. sometimes there is something wrong with you. and i don't mean in a "you are broken and that makes you unworthy" way, just in the "your brain/body does not work the way it's expected to and that's why things are so hard" way

like as someone who grew up constantly being told there was nothing wrong with me and i just had to try harder to clean/socialise/work, knowing i had ADHD earlier would've saved me a LOT of guilt. knowing i have IBS would've prevented a lot of pain/embarrassment from not being able to manage it yet. i wish someone had told me there was a reason i couldn't do things instead of just telling me i was fine. people reassuring me i didn't have any issues to spare me the shame of being "different" only made me feel worse about not being able to function like everyone else!!!

idk sometimes i just wish i knew there was something different about me sooner bc then i would've had an explanation and a way to get better instead of just a lot of self loathing

#ramble #ok to reblog #can you tell living back home has brought up a lot of unresolved stuff #the amount of times i said 'there is something wrong with me' and i was told i was fine just made me feel like i was the problem #and that i should just try harder instead of there being a physical barrier that i couldn't control #idk there's just a lot of anger from realising that it wasn't my fault and NOBODY tried to help me #@ parents: different doesn't mean bad. help your fucking kids

[sunlit-mess]

A little less lonely

#messyr #doodle #i just have so much love to give idk how to express my gratitude #but every so often- these 'little' things mean so much to me and it makes me forget all my problems #even though i just stick w the internet 90 percent of the time. I feel less lonely here...