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kylescheiblehateclub · 3 years

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Big Jet Plane

by: kjllingmoon (me, hi) || my twitter

chapters: 1/1 || words: 2.6k || rating: general audiences

summary:

It was a bad idea.

Still, it couldn't hurt to help.

----

In which Kojiro takes a beat-up Kaoru home after his little escapade from the hospital.

This was a bad idea.

It was one thing to let Kaoru stay in the restaurant despite sneaking out of the hospital with a broken leg (which, by the way, how the hell did he manage to get to Luce by himself?), but this was in another league of its own. He could already hear the slew of insults coming his way. You dopey gorilla, what if you dropped me? Why would you let me fall asleep without knowing if I have a concussion? I see your interior decor hasn’t gotten much better since last time.

He could stand it and not fight back, if just for one night. Frankly, he felt comfort when seeing Kaoru at the restaurant. It meant the accident wasn’t too bad, at least physically. And there was the sense of superiority that came with knowing he chose his restaurant, of all places. Superiority at knowing he was Kaoru’s priority, and comfort at knowing Kaoru still cared for him. Despite everything—the years of arguing, being split up during their respective years of higher education—there was still care. Which is more than what he could ever feel towards that other asshole.

It wasn’t like he’d verbalize how he felt on the ride to the emergency room. Hours had passed and he still couldn’t figure out if he had been shaking from the worry towards his friend, or hatred towards the man they once thought they knew. All that was certain was the regret he felt upon not beating Aino—Adam to a pulp right then and there, for everyone to see.

Ainosuke, Adam. The same rotten person at the core.

That violent nature wasn’t like Kojiro, it wasn’t expected of him. Which only angered him further. How was it that he and Kaoru let it get this far? S had begun as a way of self-expression, and it snowballed into a free-for-all that sometimes made him sick to his stomach. The notoriety got to his head, despite the promise he’d made to himself years ago. It was a tricky situation, one he didn’t like thinking about yet still kept him up at night.

Kojiro sighed in relief as his house came into a clearer view (giving him a break from his thoughts), surprised Kaoru slept through the ride. The pain meds must have kicked in…. He fished his keys from the pocket of his jeans and unlocked his front door, turning a light on before carefully pushing Kaoru inside. The door was promptly closed and locked, followed by his shoes being removed and all the shit in his pockets being moved to the bowl next to the door.

Once again, he found himself debating his options. He knew fully well that he should have dropped him back off at the hospital, it’d been ringing around his head during the whole walk back to his house. How was he supposed to know he’d be okay, though? Surely one night won’t kill him. They’ve gotten into bigger problems and walked away unscathed. Then again, neither of them had gotten swatted at high speed by a fucking piece of wood and metal until that night.

Options, Kojiro.

Perhaps he could start with actually waking Kaoru up and asking if he’s okay. He crouched in front of the wheelchair, nearly eye-to-eye with the man, and carefully shook him by the shoulder. “Oi, Ru. Up and at ‘em, c’mon.”

Silence. He remained still as the other stirred, bright yellow eyes looking around in confusion. Another thing Kojiro would never verbalize was the way his heart picked up as he saw thin eyebrows knit together, chapped lips pursing.

“Kojiro.” Kaoru groaned, removing his glasses. His heart had moved on from picking up to doing backflips. He began scratching at his eyes, and the act made him look younger and even more fucked up at the same time. Amazing. “Why are you staring? Didn’t your mother teach you that’s rude?”

She never said anything about admiring pretty things. “Whaddaya need, kid? Want me to take you to bed, maybe get you some food?”

Both of them looked down at Kaoru’s lap, at the way his free hand fiddled with the temples of his glasses. It felt awkward; like he was actually… embarrassed of whatever was on his mind. Kojiro stood up, figuring he’d be doing him a favor by giving him the time and space to speak. No use in forcing words through a muddled mind. He took a seat on his couch, his back facing Kaoru.

“Back at the hospital, they just…” Kaoru sounded frustrated and like he’d given up despite barely beginning. Kojiro didn’t move. “They only cleaned the affected areas and I knocked out as soon as my head touched the pillow. I feel dirty.”

Ah. Hot springs, showers. Same difference. Kojiro wouldn’t find the courage in either scenario.

“Will you wash my hair?”

A terrible, no good idea, indeed.

And yet, he got up and wheeled him into the bathroom, with not so much as a peep leaving his mouth. It’s the friendly thing to do. It also wasn’t anything new between them; Kojiro saw it as one of the perks of having known him for more than half their lives.

And yet, as he helped Kaoru sit on the toilet seat and turned Carla off to preserve her battery, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. What a bad idea. Washing his hair, as if they were an old couple, with habits and routines.

Are you implying that friends can’t have routines? Have you seen how the kids act around each other?

“How are you keeping my cast dry?”

The two men looked at each other, playing a mental game of chess. With all the bandages around Kaoru’s face, the cast had become the last of Kojiro’s concerns, but he was right. Without excusing himself, he retreated back to the kitchen, returning shortly after with a trash bag in one hand and an old beach chair in the other. “S’not perfect, but I think it’ll get the job done.”

“You don’t have to do all this, you know.” Kaoru still had that embarrassed inflection to his tone. It was reminiscent of a time when Kojiro had to make up an excuse or other as to why they kept cutting class. “I know I asked you to—”

“And that’s all there is to it.” Kojiro took a step back from his shower, looking at the chair smack in the middle of the tiled floor. It was a ridiculous setup, but it would work, for now. Hopefully. “You’re my friend, Kaoru. You’re asking for a favor.

“Before you even think of it,” he added, now turning to face the other, trying to figure out where to begin the process. Maybe undressing the bruises would be a good start. “I’m not doing this out of pity. I know you wouldn’t let me if that were the case.”

His hands were shaking again. They were chef’s hands, trained for years to be steady and precise. The experience had roughed them up, with various small slices and healed burns around his fingers and palms serving as evidence of his hard work. They were athlete’s hands, being accustomed to heavy lifting and scraping along the concrete on his board. Hands that held pride in his achievements and deceit in the shape of women. Steady, sturdy hands, goldened by the sun and failing him before his very eyes.

He began with the bulk of the bruises—his jaw. While one hand cupped Kaoru’s chin, the other one removed the tape holding the gauze to his skin, being careful to not tug at it too hard. Gnarly purples and reds came into view, the bruise obviously still fresh. Then he moved to the bandages around his neck, then his head. Neither of them dared speak, even when they winced at the sight or the sensitivity.

The anger was resurfacing. One good punch, right in the nose. That’s all he wanted. “Think you can stand?” Kojiro felt too loud in the small room, even though his voice was low. He took a step back and extended his hands, as if to invite Kaoru to try.

The other’s felt soft. He took good care of them, needing them to make a living. They were polished, well cared for, albeit also scarred from his tinkering with his AI materials and his experience skateboarding. They were pale, seeming bright as they held the other’s. Such a contrast.

Both of them took their time in getting Kaoru to his feet. It was a process, trying to balance him to remove his robe and get him in the shower. Kojiro didn’t bother removing the arm brace; that’s a bridge they could cross later. The big plastic bag was wrapped around the leg cast, with both of them hoping the water would stay out. A messy, bad idea.

It only took Kojiro a minute to strip down to his underwear. He couldn’t afford to get lost in his thoughts again; being shirtless at Crazy Rock, being half-naked with the man consuming every waking second of his life for the last few months—what’s the difference, right? He was making himself dizzy, going in circles.

He turned the faucet on, being careful not to wet Kaoru just yet. The detachable shower head was gripped, and he pointed it at the wall, feeling the steady stream until it was at a comfortable temperature. Then he began.

The ends of the long hair were first, going up to his scalp, digging his fingers into it to make sure everything got properly wettened. The faucet turned off, and he squirted shampoo onto his palm, feeling automatic; as if this really had been a habit of theirs for the longest time. Why wasn’t it? Why had his cowardice driven him into this cycle of guilt and heightened expectations— why didn’t those girls suffice him? What made him think he could ever compare to the thrill given to Kaoru when Ainosuke was in the mix?

The sound of a sob pulled him out of his thoughts. He furrowed his brows and pulled his hands back, initially thinking he had hurt Kaoru somehow. Maybe he touched an injured area?

“Ru?”

Another sob, followed by a sniffle. It made his heart drop. “Fuck. I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

What? “What? What’s wrong?” He was crouching in front of the other before he could give it a second thought. The sight was… it was something he hadn’t seen in a while. His stomach was churning. “Kaoru. Why’re you saying that?”

“I just—” Kaoru paused, trying to breathe, to calm down. He had snot on his red nose, which Kojiro cleaned without a second thought. “I really thought things would change. I didn’t want— didn’t need to win, but shit— I don’t even love him anymore, I just— I wanted to prove that it could— that we could still be friends. That things could go back to when we were kids.”

Eat your fucking heart out, eh, Kojiro?

“Hey.” He didn’t know what to say. There was nothing to say. His friend, the man he’d been hopelessly head over heels for, got fucked over by the same person in the span of seven years, and was crying his eyes out, injured, in the shower. It brought upon him a horrible feeling of deja vu, and he couldn’t shake it away.

But he could help again. Just like when they were teenagers, directionless and feeling everything all at once. He’d do it over and over if it meant Kaoru would be okay.

His broad arms wrapped around the man, and he didn’t let go, albeit their uncomfortable position. One of his hands was rubbing his back in soothing, circling motions, with the other one hiding in his hair. He felt cold, his body shaking with each little sniffle and sob.

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” Kojiro wasn’t sure if he was heard. His voice wasn’t much louder than a small mumble. He let go of the hug and cupped Kaoru’s pale cheeks instead, being as mindful as possible of his bruises. His thumbs wiped away the tears as they continued falling, and a chuckle escaped him, feeling his own eyes getting watery. “Fuck him. He’s nothing but wasted potential. You’ve done so much without him and I know you can do so much more.”

If I’d known this is where we’d end up, I would have cut him off ten years ago. Completely separate myself from him and take the opportunity to tell you what I’ve always felt. I know I wouldn’t have stood a chance, I’ve never been what you crave. But I wouldn’t have been such a coward.

“You look so ugly when you cry.”

The two men laughed at the feeble joke. Kojiro didn’t expect Kaoru to do that, but he figured it would happen. Both of them had always had a problem with vulnerability.

“Like you look any better. Your face is the same color as your hair.” He wiped Kaoru’s tears once more, then leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. Allowing himself just this one thing. “You don’t need someone like that to prove things can still be good, Ru. I believe in you.”

He could tell Kaoru didn’t fully believe the words. And that was okay. He’d be okay.

Kojiro pressed another kiss to his forehead, then his knuckles, praying above all else that the actions could convey everything he was trying to say, as well as everything he felt. I’m here for you. I love you. I love you.

It was back to washing his hair then. Neither of them spoke; there was no need. Kojiro washed, conditioned, detangled Kaoru’s hair, washed his bruises, helped him dry off, and guided him to the bedroom, offering fresh, warm clothes. He even blow-dried his hair and braided it, just like he used to do when they were teens, keeping it out of Kaoru’s face. Now it was just a matter of changing into some new clothes himself, and set up the couch…. His heart wanted to explode, beat straight out of his chest and straight into bed with him.

So he did. The night was full of mistakes and bad ideas, anyway; what’s one more? He lay on his side, watching as Kaoru attempted to do the same, settling about three-fourths of the way there. They were eyeing each other, both of them seeming like they had something to say.

Kaoru went first. “Thank you. You could have just left me back home, or at the emergency room. This means a lot to me.”

“Of course.” Kojiro got closer to him, allowing himself to push his hair back, over and over, creating a rhythm. “You mean a lot to me. I’ll help any way I can.”

“Langa completely destroyed you.”

“Youth is wasted on the young.”

Kaoru was holding Kojiro’s hand by then, guiding it to his cheek. Kojiro left it there, softly running his thumb along his thin lips.

“You know I’m beating his ass if he comes near you again, right?”

Kaoru smiled, tired. His eyes were halfway shut. “Nothing in the world would make me happier.”

Kojiro smiled back, the feeling of relief and comfort slowly returning. “Need a lullaby?”

A shake of the head signaling no, followed by a sleepy sigh and closed eyes. “Just stay here. The kids’ll be okay, yeah?”

“Yeah. Yeah, honey.” Honey. Sickly sweet. He pretended he didn’t notice the way his cheek felt hotter against his palm. “They’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”

The way Kaoru kissed his thumb sent a jolt down his spine. A bad idea for another day, Kojiro decided.

He sighed again, keeping his own hand loosely wrapped around his arm. “Goodnight, Kojiro.”

“Goodnight, Ru.”

#aly writes #do not repost #do not reupload #ao3 #matchablossom #sk8 the infinity #joe x cherry blossom #joe x cherry #bisexual joe #but also #closeted joe #i just think there should've been bigger repercussions to the cherry x adam race #i consider it a fucking plot hole #mans walked away unscathed basically #kojiro nanjo #kaoru sakurayashiki #fan fiction #joecherry

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writing-fool · 4 years

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mlqc | sunday morning

I recently (well~like three months ago) got into this game called Mr Love: Queen’s Choice, and after doing some ‘research’ aka gaming, I felt confident enough to write something. So, here’s a little headcanon about a blissful Sunday morning with the boys~

Warning(s): ever so slightly NSFW (insinuations of a dirty-minded author), profanity/swearwords

Victor

Victor’s quite the workaholic, as we all know

like this man will be working 60-70 hours a week, often bringing work home with him

you’ll be on the couch in pajamas and acting like a total bum while he’s literally next to you wearing glasses and breezing through 50 reports and documents

you steal his laptop and glasses when he starts criticising your report

“Victor noooooooo~work mode OFF!” as you zoom past him with his prescription glasses (he got them fancy glasses with the blue light filter because he’s A WORKAHOLIC and he’s always staring at a computer)

needless to say, this man doesn’t usually have time to spare

sunday mornings are yours though

Victor doesn’t necessarily take the entire day off, but after a certain dummy’s whining, he has agreed to try and have a lie-in on sundays

he *usually* still wakes up before you, because he functions on like 5 hours of sleep (lemme tell y’all, it’s a curse and a blessing in one)

Vic’s a total tsundere, but these moments definitely show off his #SoftCEO side

his little lovebug is sleeping peacefully, wearing one of his pyjama shirts (I bless you with the headcanon that Victor sleeps in silk pyjama pants sans shirt because he runs HOT)

actually, you’re drooling a little bit but even though Victor’s going to pretend he’s annoyed, he never is

oOOhh, also canon that this man is the big spoon in sleeping positions. he naturally gravitates towards you and holds you tight because he’s NEEDY

sometimes you’ll sleep facing each other. Victor holds you against his chest and just cradles your body in his like his life depends on it

100% will entangle his long ass legs with yours

strokes your hair and presses kisses on the crown of your head to wake you up in a gentle way (despite his demeanour, he’s actually remarkably gentle y’all see why i call him #SoftCEO?)

as you wake up, he’ll mock your bedhead with this incredibly fond look in his eyes baby boy these words don’t match your actions

you guys actually get up rather soon after, cos you are both busy people...

fun times in the bathroom not like tHAT well actually kinda~ but for legal reasons everything you do is PG, please spare author-nim who’s still ~barely~ underage

you take a shower and belt your favourite song that’s playing from the built-in speaker (did Victor get a built-in speaker because you thought it was cool? yep. did you ask? nope. did he do it anyways? yehep.) while he goes through his simple morning routine

you probably have more steps in your skincare routine, but he uses a serum, cleanser, moisturizer and some eye cream on the daily

has given you permission to do his skincare at night whenever you both have time

to reciprocate, he dries your hair after your shower you guys HAVE listened to the Right Beside You ASMR, right? ...it’s on YT for free because we’re poor, i know

also canon, blowing raspberries on Victor’s bare back while he’s brushing his teeth will make him choke on toothpaste. tested and approved by MC

“Dummy. What on earth are you doing?”

he hangs around and waits for you to get ready if he’s already done, you do the same. time is something Victor knows all too well, so the precious time he has, he wants to spend with you.

you guys DON’T shower together in the morning because really you’re not getting cleaner ahhh author-nim should really stop

afterwards, you get dressed in some relatively casual clothes (i’m talking a dress shirt without a tie or a polo shirt because no way that this man owns actual t-shirts) and have a simple breakfast

he cooks, obviously.

always makes a balanced, Chinese breakfast (congee or wonton, noodles, tofu pudding, etc.) because he wants you two to start the day well, even on a slow sunday

also, he travels a lot, so he likes eating Chinese food whenever he’s home

ahh...waking up with Victor just sounds like a dream

Lucien

i’m a bit biased on this bitch because he was my first favourite in the game so this might get long. might not. just,,,we’ll see

Lucien is a bit like Victor, where he doesn’t sleep much and works a lot

On the other hand, his work is...ehem...shadier, so he usually works in his office when he’s at home

you’ll both have your own space to do whatever you need to do

days off for Lucien are rare. he usually powers through until he drops

for someone who constantly reminds you to take care of yourself, he’s mediocre at doing exactly that

after getting to know him better, which wasn’t an easy feat because damn this man has more layers than an onion he’ll also make you cry more bUUT we’re not ready to unpack that suitcase, you start noticing when he needs a day off. often even before he notices

you lock his office door and force him to take the FULL day off at least

he could technically open his office again, but he loves you and he’ll humour your attempts

Lucien wakes up before you. always. you’ve seen him asleep like 3 times in your entire relationship.

Luci sleeps like 8 hours,,,a week.

he watches you sleep i feel like that makes too much sense for his character. we love a creepy boy. and wholeheartedly feels at rest with your sleeping figure by his side

in his sleep, Lucien lies on his back, holding you by the waist as you sleep on top of him. your leg is often slung around his middle, so you’re enveloping him. he likes the weight of you on top of him; it keeps him grounded and he likes feeling like he’s yours as much as you are his.

on another note, Lucifer—ah whoops—sleeps butt naked. i honestly can’t imagine him wearing clothes in bed. he’s not shy about his body and feels absolutely no need to cover up for his significant other.

you, however, don’t usually sleep naked. well...nowadays you end up sleeping naked more often than not because alright author-nim’s horrible. can’t help it, he’s a fucking scorpio?

because you guys take a day off, Lucien’s content with waiting and watching until you wake up

he feels you stir on his chest and honestly your drowsy eyes make him swoon

“Already awake, my beautiful butterfly?”

his slightly husky morning voice *really* does things to a person tbh

you guys stay in bed for a good half hour after you wake up, just cuddling and talking, also sneaking in a kiss here and there

you have the same habit of tracing each other’s bodies with your fingertips

his fingers flutter over your waist, you trace his chest or hands with your index again, it’s a very grounding experience to Lucien

when you do get up and head to the bathroom, first thing you do is shower together

he likes washing your hair

bathroom bits might happen, but surprisingly, it’s not a thing that happens a lot so don’t come at me. we’re being wholesome

Lucien’s incredibly intimate and his love language is touch. Yes, he has a way with words but he’s also a really good manipulator

he’s used his words for evil too often and therefore can’t trust words anymore. so he uses physical intimacy as a way to show love.

Lucien has a skincare routine of dermatologically approved products. a double cleanse, serum, essence and moisturizer. he uses anti-age sometimes to prevent later wrinkles.

they’re also one of the reasons why he smells clean and fresh

will tickle you when you’re rinsing your mouth. you’ve sprayed water all over the bathroom mirror before. he loves the reaction.

if you’re having a day off, you’ll probably just wear sweatpants and a t-shirt or a sweater. Lucien’s closet is relatively plain but clean. he has the best cable-knit sweaters/cardigans though.

your breakfast consists of western things like yogurt or oatmeal. Lucien likes having fruit at the start of the day

the rest of the day is spent relaxing and lounging, walking in the park, biking, reading, drawing, whatever you’d like

maaan...i wish i had more days off

Gavin

Gavin’s actually a decently laid-back person on weekends

like, sure he has to work a lot, but his job doesn’t necessarily force him to work from home, so you pretty much have his full attention at home but also he can’t bear to not give you his full attention so what are we expecting

the nasty thing about Gavin being a police officer is that sometimes, he gets called up and needs to work at unconventional hours

also, he gets injured. most of his injuries are minor, but that doesn’t stop you from worrying.

but anyways, he’s not a total busy bee when he’s at home, and relaxing isn’t exceptional

sunday mornings are...well...active. Birdcop goes on a run/hits the gym every morning, so he’s awake by 6am. what did y’all think i was going to write

afterwards, he takes a quick shower and joins you in bed again.

Gavin sleeps in a pair of basketball shorts and a singlet. he’s somewhat shy about sleeping shirtless, and god forbid he sleep naked. but it’s all good and he respects your boundaries. besides, he’s comfortable in his sleep and that’s all that matters.

you spoon in your sleep. sometimes, he’s the big spoon because he likes being able to ‘protect’ you in his sleep. other times, he relishes in the comfort of being the little spoon and feeling you pressed up against his back.

very important headcanon! you’ve learnt to sleep with the bedroom window open. on workdays, Gavin gets home late and jumps right into the bedroom. it’s become a typical habit for you two, although you used to be grumpy about not being able to sleep with the noises of traffic.

you’re usually awoken by the sound of the shower and Gavin’s humming it’s canon that he hums now, bitches. also I bet his singing voice is amazing

so it’s less ‘sleeping in’ and more ‘lounging in bed like the lazy bastards you are’ i’m kiDDING

if he’s able to, Gavin might convince you to go on a run with him....but let’s be honest, you rarely agree

Gavin’s a total cuddlebug though, so be prepared to spend the next forty-five minutes in the tightest hug ever (to be fair, you’re not complaining)

he’s completely soft for you and you’ll have to wrestle out of his grip to get to the bathroom

you don’t shower in the morning, so everything’s pretty quick

Gavin doesn’t actually have a good skincare regiment tbh...he’ll slap on some cream and that’s it. probably washes his face in the shower with body wash...AND HIS SKIN STILL LOOKS AMAZING

you like making funny faces in the mirror while brushing your teeth and making Gavin laugh while he’s watching you in the doorway. he loves how you just make his day with the smallest things.

you guys both dress in really casual clothing, like hoodies and shorts/sweatpants/pj pants unless you’re going somewhere

Gavin has them grey sweatpants, if you know what I mean okay I’ll chill, sorry~

you wear his shirts a lot because they’re super big on you and Gavin secretly not-so-secretly thinks you’re adorable in them (a good thing about Gavin is that he’s easy to read; he blushes rather quickly)

“Ahh...it’s just—you look so tiny and cute.” guess he’s not the only one blushing now

i see Gavin as a ‘bun for breakfast’ kind of person. he picks them up at the stall a couple of miles away when he heads home. sometimes he does so running, other times...well he’s not called Birdcop for nothing

you guys have 2 buns each for breakfast because they’re delicious

lounge time is often spent gaming or cleaning the house (you’re both busy people and Gavin tends to get messy because he just chucks clothes on the floor after a hard workday)

you make the most out of your sunday, hoping Gavin doesn’t get called in

who wouldn’t like being domestic with Gavin?

Kiro

Kiro, unsurprisingly, has an incredibly busy schedule

one that, similar to Gavin, isn’t really decided by himself

i suppose his situation is a tad bit worse than Birdcop’s, since his workdays don’t even actually end when he gets home. he constantly practices choreos, singing, etc. at home

so, full days off are few and very, very far between

this makes them extra precious

it helps to have a lazy morning once in a while though (in Kiro’s case, lazy sundays are most likely a bi-weekly thing)

you wake up first! Kiro needs his beauty sleep, and damn this boy can knock in 16 hours of sleep if need be

you’ll probably lay in bed for a while and then attempt to get up and ready for the day

until...you feel Kiro’s arm tugging you back

for a skinny, lithe boy, he’s remarkably strong. he pulls you back to bed with the groggiest, cutest sleep-laced voice EVER

“Mmm, Miss Chips, it’s not time to wake up yet, is it?”

he snuggles into you and refuses to wake up unless you give him kisses

during the night, Kiro sleeps in actual pyjamas with cute characters on them. when he feels lazy, he’ll probably just slip on a t-shirt and some boxer shorts, but he likes putting in the effort to wear matching couple pyjamas

Kiro cuddles with you 24/7, and sleep makes little difference here. he’s often the little spoon because he does like feeling your presence and your grip on him. he moves around when sleeping, so you might end up out of each other’s embrace, but Kiro subconsciously always touches you in some way or form, like holding hands or intertwining legs. he’s a man with many identities and needs your presence as a reassurance that he’s still the man that you love

he loves to pepper your face with kisses after getting home from rehearsals/concerts, claiming that it gives him energy

you do the same in the morning, anything to hear that sweet giggle of his

he’s deceptively cute though, and innocent morning kisses tend to spiral into...something more let’s just be honest, his stamina is something else entirely i’M SORRY

morning exercise? check. Hotel? Trivago. non-sponsored~

you guys don’t shower in the morning. Kiro’s used to showering after practice, which is late at night, and you shower in the evenings to help you relax

however, on a rare occasion, you’ll draw a nice bath together and play around with bubbles and scented bath bombs so fun and relaxing

Kiro totally has a 14-step skincare regiment. you don’t get that beautiful baby-smooth skin without some effort.

he has the best ‘mid-range to high-end’ products on the market, and loves sweet and floral scents for his skincare and makeup. you guys try to line up each other’s routines to be able to do them together every morning.

Kiro also has a huge bedhead in the morning! it’s your job to get this sleepyhead styled for a fun day

even Kiro’s casual loungewear is top-notch hip and trendy. he has fun sweatpants with chains, belts, patches, you name it. he likes holding a little fashion show with you, no matter what you two are wearing

old jeans? strut it. thrifted shirt? vogue, honey.

Kiro’s on a strict diet, so usually he has a smoothie and some tofu pudding for breakfast. on occasion, you’ll indulge him in something decadent, like French toast or pancakes. on moments like these, you swear he loves you juuuuuust a little more but don’t tell Savin!

you guys are a relatively active couple, so unless you’re inside gaming or busy working, you’ll spend some time in thrift stores or karaoke bars, arcades, fun fairs,...

just thinking about Kiro brightens my day...

As always, I hope you enjoyed reading this! I’ll try to bring out more content for K-Pop idols, otome characters and anime characters during the holidays. Requests are still open, so don’t be afraid to send a little message in my ask-box!

Love,

#mlqc #mlqc lucien #mlqc fanfic #mlqc imagine #mlqc kiro #mlqc gavin #mlqc victor #xu mo #li zeyan #zhou qilou #bai qi #mlqc headcanon #mr love #love and producer #evol x love #lucien #kiro #victor #gavin

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write-it-good-imagines · 4 years

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85% - Lim Jaebum (M)

@iwanttobejaebeomsslut asked and I provided! Hello everyone! This came as a request from our lovely aforementioned blog and I’m telling you, this was one helluva ride tho. Enough rambling, enjoy~

Synopsis: You have to give a full percentage of yourself in a relationship to make it work. Jaebum learns the hard way that any number below that is a certain cause of destruction.

Warnings: angst, smut, unprotected sex

~4.5k words

“Breaking up with someone is…yeah.”

You had just closed the door of the apartment, only to be welcomed by a small commotion coming from the kitchen. The lively sound of vegetables being diced and some indistinctive ingredients being boiled served for a false distraction from the fatigue starting to kick in. Although you had a refreshing night with your girl-friends, you had long forgotten how taxing it was to spend a full night out in the middle of the week. You kicked off your shoes and threw your backpack on the floor. An ominous feeling started nurturing in your chest.

“I don’t know. She’s probably out late with the girls… Yeah, no, I didn’t know.”

You distinguished Jaebum’s voice among the variety of little sounds mixing together. It seemed like he was talking on the phone with someone, his back turned to the kitchen door as he divided his attention between cooking and carrying the conversation. You paused your movements and leaned against the outer wall, listening in. It looked like he was talking about you.

“Distant? Yeah…no, I didn’t get the chance to tell her.”

Tell you? Tell you what? You pursed your lips. What was Jaebum hiding from you?

“Jinyoung-ah, how can you find a nice way to tell your girlfriend something like that? It’s…It’s never that easy.”

You let out a hollow chuckle and folded your arms over your chest. You felt anger swirling up in your veins. You were getting a pretty clear idea of how that scenario would eventually play out.

“Of course I will. The longer it drags, the harder it will be. Catch you later, Jinyoung-ah. I don’t want to burn the recipe…yeah, thanks.”

You peeled yourself off the wall and dug a hand in the pocket of your jeans. You threw the keys of the apartment on the kitchen table with a loud noise and it successfully captured Jaebum’s attention. The little smile he had on his lips irked you. “Is this what you have been doing lately, Jaebum?”

His eyebrows knitted together. He looked like he had no idea you overheard his previous conversation. “Doing what, exactly? I want to test out those cooking classes—“

“Let me rephrase.” You clicked your tongue. “Is this what you were busy doing while actively ignoring and neglecting me? Planning a nice and easy way to throw the break-up text in my face?”

Jaebum hissed and returned to chopping the vegetables. “It’s not like you bother paying too much attention to me either, Y/n.”

You could not believe your ears.

“Go fuck yourself.”

Jaebum slammed his knife down and shifted his body to face you. “What did you say?”

“Oh, so now you are interested in what I have to say” you laughed bleakly and shrugged your shoulders. “Should I say it again?”

“What’s with this attitude? Huh? Lately, there’s always something you don’t like, something you complain about. What the hell is it that you want?”

Every ounce of patience you had left was wearing thin. You analyzed Jaebum’s face and found nothing but outright irritation and displeasure. It satisfied you beyond measure. It was only natural he should get a taste of his own medicine. You took a step closer to him, holding your ground. “You don’t get to blame this on me. You have no right.”

Jaebum scoffed at your words and raked his hair with his fingers in an evident annoyed manner. “Of course, it’s my fault only. I am the only one in this world who doesn’t understand you.”

“You are a hypocrite.”

You stormed out of the kitchen, your breathing ragged from all the failed attempts to compose yourself. The unidentified feeling that invaded your chest as soon as you entered your shared apartment bloomed into a hurricane, sweeping all your entire being. Rather than feeling sadness, you felt a sinister rage boiling in your lungs that you knew you wouldn’t be able to tame.

You couldn’t remember the last time you enjoyed some time in Jaebum’s company without constantly feeling pressured about something. Nothing you did for him seemed to be enough anymore. You tried visiting him at his company or call him randomly when you missed him but it didn’t appear to have much of an effect on him as it did in the early stage of your relationship. You two did not talk much about yourselves, either; Jaebum was always closed off. Your last resort was giving him the space he needed to put everything in order. You should have given up altogether had you known everything was just a cheap show of pretense.

Jaebum’s heavy steps trailed after you and you had to jerk forward to avoid his touch. “Why are you always leaving in the middle of an argument?”

That was the last straw. “You want me to tell you why I am always leaving, Jaebum?” your voice was raised, probably in a desperate attempt to get everything off your chest without any hesitation.

“I am done with this cat and mouse game! I am done with you always retreating in your little perfect bubble, I am done with you always denying my calls, I am done trying to make you communicate with me, Jaebum. Even when you actually come home, it feels like there’s a ghost in my bed. I am done wondering why I am not enough for you.”

Jaebum unconsciously took two steps back, his frame shaking slightly. You shook your head softly and let your hands fall to your sides helplessly. “You’re putting your fucking guard up again.”

All he could do was look away. Jaebum couldn’t bear to listen, much less look you in the eyes. It was stupefying to hear about all of his insecurities shoved in his face. He should have figured out they would come haunting him.

“Y/n…” he began as you threw your coat over your shoulders and dug your feet into your boots. He remained silent, repeatedly trying to find something to say. And you waited, a sliver of hope still hanging on against all odds.

“You see, Jaebum,” you broke the oppressive silence instead, your tone trembling. “You cannot give someone only 85% of yourself and expect it to be enough.”

“It was hard for me, too.” He blurted out, his fist clenching. You turned away too, fearing that seeing him struggle would make you go back to square one.

After you had left what was your shared apartment in a frenzied rush, you drove mindlessly into the night, winter streets of Seoul, the fingers gripping the wheel in a futile attempt to suppress the amalgam of emotion in your ribcage. A couple of hours passed until you finally parked the car in a lot on the outskirts of the capital and crawled out of your seat. You rose your head to the sky when big snowflakes started waltzing in the air. You felt your phone buzz in the pocket of your coat and you lazily took it out. The text glowing on your screen made you break down in tears.

‘Let’s break up.’

The months that followed were undeniably hard on you. You sent your closest friend the following week to pick up your things from your old home because you didn’t have it in you to face Jaebum. The lack of messages and calls was impressive, even for the two of you. There were numerous times when your fingers ghosted over the ‘send’ button to forward a paragraph to him but you knew better than that. There was no need to tear yourself apart anymore.

It became hard to adapt to your new routine. Waking up in an unfamiliar bed and spending your time in a different house was strange. Even after winter ended and the warmth of the sun began enveloping the world, there still was an overwhelming coldness residing. It took you some time to grow accustomed to it. You loved Jaebum and you knew there were a lot of things left unsaid between the two of you but you missed feeling whole more than anything. Feeling unhappy was the last thing you wanted to remember about him and ending it, alas abruptly, was your way of keeping your fond memories intact.

Jaebum was a good lover to you. And having back the life you had was an impossible matter.

It hurt to let go because you tried your hardest to hold on and it only seemed like it wanted to get further away from you. Blaming yourself for having felt, for having wanted, it was gnawing at you. It confused you because you thought your feelings were the wrong ones all along, that you let them go and they were not reciprocated. You felt like a deplorable criminal and it was mirrored all over your existence.

Distractions were everything keeping you from succumbing to your suffering. Keeping yourself busy was the only way you’d stop your mind from wondering about Jaebum and about your own mistakes. Gradually, it grew a little easier to breathe and wake up in the morning. You started pushing the curtains apart to let the sun come through and you were slowly and steadily eating more and more. Dealing with a broken heart was a complex and tough process. You knew it was also not an unbeatable one. Once you convinced yourself of it, you managed to gather the shattered pieces of your heart from the floor. You were not ready to move on just yet but you were not wailing either.

Of course, meeting and dating Jaebum exposed you to his other idol friends with whom you grew closer. One thing you appreciated about his circle was that they were totally impartial when it came to your former relationship. Just like that, knowing someone resulted in introducing you to someone new. You liked to think people did not despise you.

In a late august morning, the ringing of your phone awoke you from your sweet slumber. You brought it to your ear, trying your best to make sense of the words spoken to you. You were asked to help organize a private pool party for one of your closest friends.

The idea in itself made you beam with excitement. Your summer was sprinkled with events here and there, mostly dedicated to you. Your circle put in a lot of effort to drag you out of the pit and you couldn’t love them more for it. It felt good to help do something nice in exchange and a pool party was the one thing you didn’t know you needed. So you were in charge of reserving the location and the mobile bar. And because you loved being a tad extra, you reserved one of the largest skybar areas which had all the requirements.

“You really invited a lot of people!” you giggled as you finished dressing with the one-shoulder bikini top. Your friend nudged you with her elbow, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

“He has a lot of friends, all right! We all needed this to celebrate the end of the summer before we go back to work. But you really went extra with this red two-piece.”

“You said it yourself, didn’t you?” you smirked and exited the changing rooms, grabbing a cocktail on your way out. “We’re celebrating!”

“That’s my girl.”

There were a lot of guests coming in, most of the people you had already met before. The crowd was thickening by the second but it was one of the few times you actually enjoyed it. You wanted to lose yourself among them so you could finally wash off the regret lingering in your heart. It didn’t take long for your group to gather and it took but a glance to agree on opening the party. All of you jumped in the pool, accompanied by roaring cheers. Others followed in after you, filling the water rapidly. The DJ didn’t hesitate to switch the music up, fueling the otherwise great atmosphere. You gathered quickly to the pool bar to down a shot and joined your girl-friends in a game of water volleyball.

“Hey, girls! I am going out to dry myself a little, I think I might turn into a siren if I stay any longer!” You announced cheerfully and got out of the pool to grab a towel. You wrapped the soft linen around your body and a group of people gathering to the entrance captured your attention. You felt as if the weight of the whole world came crashing down on you.

Jaebum and his members were coming in.

You quickly turned your back to the entrance, your features wilting. You had to grab onto the metal railing to sustain your balance. Why were they there? Why was he there?

That was an unforeseeable situation. Leaving the party would be inconsiderately rude to your friend and avoiding all of them was beyond impossible. You were at a loss for words. All the months spent moving on from the murderous pain went down the drain in mere moments. You knew you couldn’t afford to reopen such a fresh wound.

You rushed to the barman to mix you another drink. Your index trailed along the rim before you gulped it down. Alcohol wouldn’t serve as a savior but it would at least keep your adrenaline contained. People were getting out too to enjoy the snacks, the drinks or to dance to the endearing music. You put the towel on a nearby surface and meddled with them in an attempt to restrain your thoughts. The alcohol in your veins made it easier for you to lose yourself to the rhythm, along with your friends who hyped you up.

However, the stares Jaebum kept sending your way were excruciating. As soon as he laid his eyes on you, subtlety flew out the window. He was at a considerable distance from you, surrounded by countless other girls who tried catching his group’s attention, yet you caught him glancing at you so many times you lost count. It vexed you. You wondered if he had always been that shameless. It was only getting worse as one of your girls attached herself to your back to start grinding against you. The glances turned to intent stares, burning through your skin. Your eyes connected once and you recognized that singular vulgar glint in his eyes. You could only guess how many scenarios ran through his mind. Unfortunately, you weren’t one to back out from a challenge.

You hated his guts and you absolutely despised his presence there when it was meant to be a perfect summer’s end for you and your friends. You recalled the way you felt that night you left his house and all the pent-up frustration burst forth. If he was staring at you, might as well offer him something worth staring at.

For the rest of the night, you welcomed any inappropriate or daring moves initiated by your friends. At a certain point, you even started enjoying it; you forgot how much you adored having fun. It served for good distraction as Jaebum managed to slip off your mind for a while. You didn’t realize when time passed so fast and guests started retreating to their respective homes. You lost sight of Jaebum and the rest of his members, too. There were hardly any people left and you needed to cool down your body of all the intensity, so you dived into the pool to execute a lap or two.

You pulled yourself to the surface and ran your hands over your face to wipe off the water. An indistinctive sound of water splashing echoed in the distance but you paid it no mind as you swam to the edge of the pool, leaning your back against the cold surface.

“Nice party, huh?”

You felt your body tensing up at the painfully familiar voice. You opened your eyes to see Jaebum in front of you, momentarily keeping his distance. Were you wrong earlier?

“Thanks, I reserved the place.”

Jaebum laughed and it tore open a piece of your heart. The sound was so beautiful. “Figures you did.”

You nodded your head and looked away. You wanted to escape that situation.

“We weren’t supposed to come, our schedule was packed.” Jaebum started as he ran a hand through his damp hair. “I am glad we did, though.”

You chuckled. “You would have missed a great party otherwise.”

Jaebum took a step closer to you, prompting his hands on either side of your body. You tilted your head to him, your eyes lifting up to his. You clicked your tongue at his gesture.

“You know I am not talking about that.”

“God knows what you are talking about, Jaebum.” You dared. “Don’t push this. We began as friends, let’s end as friends.”

“Friends are not supposed to look at each other the way I look at you.”

You pursed your lips, your breathing coming to a halt. So you were not wrong about your deductions. You inched your face closer to his, maintaining eye contact. “You look at me like any other male would look at a female he wants to fuck. That’s not something special.”

Jaebum’s reaction was entirely different from what you were expecting. Instead of scoffing and walking away as he used to, his eyes softened, unlocking the gate to his soul you never managed to pass through. “That’s not true, Y/n. I never took you for a stress reliever. Even though having sex with you pushed me over the edge every time.”

You felt his hands lowering to your hips to pull you toward him. The tips of his fingers sent scorching sensations through your body. You kept your distance, fighting a savage battle to keep yourself contained. “Sex is the only thing we did well, Jaebum.”

Jaebum leaned over, attaching his lips flawlessly to a sweet spot in your neck that always set you off. Your fingers clenched around the edge of the pool. Giving in started to feel like a plausible solution to your problem.

“It wasn’t the only thing we did well, Y/n. Waking up to you was the most joyous part of the morning.” Jaebum placed a chaste kiss behind your ear. “Writing songs with you was when I’d get the most inspiration.” Another kiss to your jaw. “Having you by my side was the only thing I could boast about shamelessly.”

Jaebum pulled away from you altogether, saving you from eliciting a moan. He looked both sincere and sad. “Loving you was the only thing I couldn’t do right.”

“I suffered, Jaebum.” You cleared your throat. “I suffered terribly even while being with you. Do you have any idea how it is to feel alone in a relationship? I’ve loved you all alone, Jaebum. It destroyed me.”

“You didn’t love alone, Y/n.” He pleaded. “I was a coward and I was so wrong. I knew I had to work on myself first and that was one thing I had to do alone.”

“I don’t understand you.”

“Then let me explain myself properly.”

Jaebum crashed his lips against yours and his hands took a steady grip of your hips again. He pushed his body atop of yours and you could feel his hardening bulge rubbing against your lower abdomen. A sultry moan evaded your lungs against your wish. Jaebum took the opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth, engaging yours in a carnal dance. An unexpected amount of adrenaline was surging up inside you as his tongue worked on yours ardently.

“If this is the only way to make you listen to me, so be it.” Jaebum pulled back and did not give you any time to catch your breath. He pushed his knee in between your legs, the sudden friction making you bite back another moan. “Firstly, I need you and I love you, that’s unquestionable.”

Jaebum lowered a hand to grab your ass harshly, his fingers sliding inside your bikini for a better grip. You threw your head back in ecstasy. “Secondly, I am terribly sorry for breaking up with you through text but I knew that if I saw you again, I’d break and I wouldn’t work on my issues if I had you running by my side to pamper me.”

Jaebum pulled out his other hand from the water to pull your chin tenderly to him. The vicious glint in his eyes turned you on. “And thirdly, I swear to explain everything to you so you can decide if you give me another chance or not. What do you want me to do?”

You brought a hand to his hair, running your nails on his scalp then down to his nape. You smirked at the low growl escaping his lips. “I swear to God Lim Jaebum, if you don’t fuck my brains out right now, I won’t even consider listening to you.”

You saw a dangerous smirk growing on Jaebum’s lips. His knee pushed your legs further apart and his hand traveled to your core, two fingers pushing inside of you without any prior warning. A resonant moan vibrated in the air at the desired feeling of his fingers stretching you out and Jaebum leaned over to whisper in your ear. “You never told me you were into public sex.”

“I thought you weren’t.”

Jaebum circled his tongue around one of the prominent veins in your neck, a predator steadying himself to mark its prey. “I prefer shielding you from curious eyes but I have to obey my princess’s wish of fucking her outright.”

Instead of attacking the skin of your neck, Jaebum lowered his head to your breasts, pulling the fabric of your top for access. Your nails dug into the blade of his shoulder when his lips started sucking on your breast ever so passionate. You had to steady yourself as his fingers began curling in and out of your core, the avalanche of moans coming out of your mouth filling the air.

“Jaebum…oh, right there”

Jaebum glanced up at you before admiring the beautiful colored spot on your breast. He licked his lips and attached them to yours in a fiery kiss. Your eagerness hinted at your first orgasm much faster than you anticipated. Jaebum allowed you to take the lead of the kiss so he could focus on the movements of his fingers getting faster.

You moaned into his mouth and threw your head back, holding onto Jaebum’s shoulder to grind against his magical digits. Jaebum let out a groan of his own; watching you surrender to the pleasure he was granting you, the way your lips parted with every airy sigh echoing in the air and the way your body reacted to every little gesture arose him greatly. He placed his other hand on your inner thigh to keep them parted as your warm walls clenched around his fingers. “Come on, Y/n. Cum on my fingers, beautiful.”

It didn’t take long to satisfy Jaebum’s wish; a high-pitched moan signaled your orgasm washing over you and Jaebum helped you ride it off eagerly. You barely had any time to inhale that Jaebum flipped your body so that your back was facing him. “I believe we’re not done just yet.”

Jaebum lowered his head to press a trail of butterfly kisses along the upper part of your spine that made you arch your back. He traced a finger over the scarce piece of material and you detected disapproval in his tone.

“This is very much in my way, gorgeous.”

“You’ll leave me naked if I take it off.”

Jaebum chuckled and prompted you to raise your arms so he could remove it. He draped an arm over your breasts, grabbing one of them in his hand to play with. A yelp emerged out of your chest. “Problem solved.”

He resumed his previous actions, peppering kisses over your spine that caused goosebumps to appear. He truly knew your body inside out.

“You like that?”

You hummed in approval, throwing your arm around his neck as he pressed his chest to your back. “Very much.”

“It means you will just love this.”

You bit your bottom lip in anticipation. Jaebum pulled down his shorts and guided his erection inside your wet cavern. He moaned into your shoulder, grazing his teeth over the sensitive skin at the contact he longed for. His length filled up every inch of you and you leaned forward to adjust to his size. He had always stretched you out to your limits and you could never get enough of the euphoric sensation.

Jaebum’s thrusts started at a fast and rough tempo that found an excellent angle every single time. Before you knew it, you began chanting his name like a mantra. His hand cupping your breast was only adding to the infinite bliss whirling uncontrollably through your veins. Your body reminded you how dependent you were of his touch and how he was the only one who could make you reach absolute nirvana. There was no use denying yourself anymore.

“Fuck it, Y/n, I missed you so much. I could never live without you.”

Through the rapid pacing of your breathing and the mixture of moans coming from both of you, you heard his words loud and clear. You brought his face to you to pull him into a desirous kiss in response. Jaebum added his middle finger to your clit, rubbing against it masterfully, and you had to take a grip of the edge of the pool. Your vision was getting blurry and you could no longer form coherent words because of the ecstasy exploding inside you.

“Oh, Jaebum…”

“I know, love.”

Jaebum was panting but that didn’t stop him from picking up the pace and hitting your sweet spot with every sharp movement. A well-known sensation built up rapidly in your stomach, igniting your core almost devilishly. You couldn’t hold out any longer. Your walls clenched around his thick length and Jaebum sensed it, pulling himself completely out of you before coming back in to offer you deeper thrusts. You placed your hand over his, guiding his fingers to rub your clit just the way you desperately needed.

Your second orgasm hit you violently and Jaebum had to sustain your body as you came. You screamed out his name in euphoric pleasure and the overwhelming warmth of your juices ensured Jaebum would follow closely behind. It took a couple more angled thrusts for him to release himself inside of you and an airy sigh approved of the nice feeling.

“I am sorry for that, I couldn’t hold back.” Jaebum whispered as he gently turned you to him and placed his forehead against yours.

“If there’s anything you should apologize for is me not being able to walk tomorrow morning.”

He chuckled and you circled your arms around his neck, holding on to his broad back. Your breasts were pressed against his chest, trying to cover yourself. Jaebum pulled up his shorts and guided your legs around his waist before wrapping his own arms around you. You were so comfortable with the familiar warmth his body provided. It was an abrupt turn your life took and there would be much to do to make it work but you could feel it wouldn’t be a scarce 85% again.

“Let’s get out of here.”

#got7 #got7 imagine #got7 imagines #got7 jaebum #got7 im jaebum #got7 smut #got7 angst #lim jaebum #im jaebum #kpop au #idol au #request #got7 request #so yeah get me a fan #that was painful even for me #jaebum x reader #im jaebum x reader

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mr-entj · 4 years

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Mental Health Wellness Tips for Quarantine

Sharing a piece a clinical psychologist in my network published.

______________

After having thirty-one sessions this week with patients where the singular focus was COVID-19 and how to cope, I decided to consolidate my advice and make a list that I hope is helpful to all. I can't control a lot of what is going on right now, but I can contribute this.

Edit: I am surprised and heartened that this has been shared so widely! People have asked me to credential myself, so to that end, I am a doctoral level Psychologist in NYS with a Psy.D. in the specialities of School and Clinical Psychology.

1. Stick to a routine. Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, write a schedule that is varied and includes time for work as well as self-care.

2. Dress for the social life you want, not the social life you have. Get showered and dressed in comfortable clothes, wash your face, brush your teeth. Take the time to do a bath or a facial. Put on some bright colors. It is amazing how our dress can impact our mood.

3. Get out at least once a day, for at least thirty minutes. If you are concerned of contact, try first thing in the morning, or later in the evening, and try less traveled streets and avenues. If you are high risk or living with those who are high risk, open the windows and blast the fan. It is amazing how much fresh air can do for spirits.

4. Find some time to move each day, again daily for at least thirty minutes. If you don’t feel comfortable going outside, there are many YouTube videos that offer free movement classes, and if all else fails, turn on the music and have a dance party!

5. Reach out to others, you guessed it, at least once daily for thirty minutes. Try to do FaceTime, Skype, phone calls, texting—connect with other people to seek and provide support. Don’t forget to do this for your children as well. Set up virtual playdates with friends daily via FaceTime, Facebook Messenger Kids, Zoom, etc—your kids miss their friends, too!

6. Stay hydrated and eat well. This one may seem obvious, but stress and eating often don’t mix well, and we find ourselves over-indulging, forgetting to eat, and avoiding food. Drink plenty of water, eat some good and nutritious foods, and challenge yourself to learn how to cook something new!

7. Develop a self-care toolkit. This can look different for everyone. A lot of successful self-care strategies involve a sensory component (seven senses: touch, taste, sight, hearing, smell, vestibular (movement) and proprioceptive (comforting pressure). An idea for each: a soft blanket or stuffed animal, a hot chocolate, photos of vacations, comforting music, lavender or eucalyptus oil, a small swing or rocking chair, a weighted blanket. A journal, an inspirational book, or a mandala coloring book is wonderful, bubbles to blow or blowing watercolor on paper through a straw are visually appealing as well as work on controlled breath. Mint gum, Listerine strips, ginger ale, frozen Starburst, ice packs, and cold are also good for anxiety regulation. For children, it is great to help them create a self-regulation comfort box (often a shoe-box or bin they can decorate) that they can use on the ready for first-aid when overwhelmed.

8. Spend extra time playing with children. Children will rarely communicate how they are feeling, but will often make a bid for attention and communication through play. Don’t be surprised to see therapeutic themes of illness, doctor visits, and isolation play through. Understand that play is cathartic and helpful for children—it is how they process their world and problem solve, and there’s a lot they are seeing and experiencing in the now.

9. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and a wide berth. A lot of cooped up time can bring out the worst in everyone. Each person will have moments when they will not be at their best. It is important to move with grace through blowups, to not show up to every argument you are invited to, and to not hold grudges and continue disagreements. Everyone is doing the best they can to make it through this.

10. Everyone find their own retreat space. Space is at a premium, particularly with city living. It is important that people think through their own separate space for work and for relaxation. For children, help them identify a place where they can go to retreat when stressed. You can make this place cozy by using blankets, pillows, cushions, scarves, beanbags, tents, and “forts”. It is good to know that even when we are on top of each other, we have our own special place to go to be alone.

11. Expect behavioral issues in children, and respond gently. We are all struggling with disruption in routine, none more than children, who rely on routines constructed by others to make them feel safe and to know what comes next. Expect increased anxiety, worries and fears, nightmares, difficulty separating or sleeping, testing limits, and meltdowns. Do not introduce major behavioral plans or consequences at this time—hold stable and focus on emotional connection.

12. Focus on safety and attachment. We are going to be living for a bit with the unprecedented demand of meeting all work deadlines, homeschooling children, running a sterile household, and making a whole lot of entertainment in confinement. We can get wrapped up in meeting expectations in all domains, but we must remember that these are scary and unpredictable times for children. Focus on strengthening the connection through time spent following their lead, through physical touch, through play, through therapeutic books, and via verbal reassurances that you will be there for them in this time.

13. Lower expectations and practice radical self-acceptance. This idea is connected with #12. We are doing too many things in this moment, under fear and stress. This does not make a formula for excellence. Instead, give yourself what psychologists call “radical self acceptance”: accepting everything about yourself, your current situation, and your life without question, blame, or pushback. You cannot fail at this—there is no roadmap, no precedent for this, and we are all truly doing the best we can in an impossible situation.

14. Limit social media and COVID conversation, especially around children. One can find tons of information on COVID-19 to consume, and it changes minute to minute. The information is often sensationalized, negatively skewed, and alarmist. Find a few trusted sources that you can check in with consistently, limit it to a few times a day, and set a time limit for yourself on how much you consume (again 30 minutes tops, 2-3 times daily). Keep news and alarming conversations out of earshot from children—they see and hear everything, and can become very frightened by what they hear.

15. Notice the good in the world, the helpers. There is a lot of scary, negative, and overwhelming information to take in regarding this pandemic. There are also a ton of stories of people sacrificing, donating, and supporting one another in miraculous ways. It is important to counter-balance the heavy information with the hopeful information.

16. Help others. Find ways, big and small, to give back to others. Support restaurants, offer to grocery shop, check in with elderly neighbors, write psychological wellness tips for others—helping others gives us a sense of agency when things seem out of control.

17. Find something you can control, and control the heck out of it. In moments of big uncertainty and overwhelm, control your little corner of the world. Organize your bookshelf, purge your closet, put together that furniture, group your toys. It helps to anchor and ground us when the bigger things are chaotic.

18. Find a long-term project to dive into. Now is the time to learn how to play the keyboard, put together a huge jigsaw puzzle, start a 15 hour game of Risk, paint a picture, read the Harry Potter series, binge watch an 8-season show, crochet a blanket, solve a Rubix cube, or develop a new town in Animal Crossing. Find something that will keep you busy, distracted, and engaged to take breaks from what is going on in the outside world.

19. Engage in repetitive movements and left-right movements. Research has shown that repetitive movement (knitting, coloring, painting, clay sculpting, jump roping etc) especially left-right movement (running, drumming, skating, hopping) can be effective at self-soothing and maintaining self-regulation in moments of distress.

20. Find an expressive art and go for it. Our emotional brain is very receptive to the creative arts, and it is a direct portal for release of feeling. Find something that is creative (sculpting, drawing, dancing, music, singing, playing) and give it your all. See how relieved you can feel. It is a very effective way of helping kids to emote and communicate as well!

21. Find lightness and humor in each day. There is a lot to be worried about, and with good reason. Counterbalance this heaviness with something funny each day: cat videos on YouTube, a stand-up show on Netflix, a funny movie—we all need a little comedic relief in our day, every day.

22. Reach out for help—your team is there for you. If you have a therapist or psychiatrist, they are available to you, even at a distance. Keep up your medications and your therapy sessions the best you can. If you are having difficulty coping, seek out help for the first time. There are mental health people on the ready to help you through this crisis. Your children’s teachers and related service providers will do anything within their power to help, especially for those parents tasked with the difficult task of being a whole treatment team to their child with special challenges. Seek support groups of fellow home-schoolers, parents, and neighbors to feel connected. There is help and support out there, any time of the day—although we are physically distant, we can always connect virtually.

23. “Chunk” your quarantine, take it moment by moment. We have no road map for this. We don’t know what this will look like in 1 day, 1 week, or 1 month from now. Often, when I work with patients who have anxiety around overwhelming issues, I suggest that they engage in a strategy called “chunking”—focusing on whatever bite-sized piece of a challenge that feels manageable. Whether that be 5 minutes, a day, or a week at a time—find what feels doable for you, and set a time stamp for how far ahead in the future you will let yourself worry. Take each chunk one at a time, and move through stress in pieces.

24. Remind yourself daily that this is temporary. It seems in the midst of this quarantine that it will never end. It is terrifying to think of the road stretching ahead of us. Please take time to remind yourself that although this is very scary and difficult, and will go on for an undetermined amount of time, it is a season of life and it will pass. We will return to feeing free, safe, busy, and connected in the days ahead.

25. Find the lesson. This whole crisis can seem sad, senseless, and at times, avoidable. When psychologists work with trauma, a key feature to helping someone work through said trauma is to help them find their agency, the potential positive outcomes they can effect, the meaning and construction that can come out of destruction. What can each of us learn here, in big and small ways, from this crisis? What needs to change in ourselves, our homes, our communities, our nation, and our world?

(x)

#coronavirus #covid-19 #stress #mental health #fear #anxiety #mental wellness #psychology #life #resource

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adhd-ranting · 4 years

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Alright I’m D*pressed So I’m coping by making a tips list of how to live in quarantine.

Literally just get the closest pen and notebook and write out your schedule

I don't care if you have nothing to do.

It can be as simple as just a to do list of simple life sustaining actions because I know some of y'all aren't sleeping or eating.

Remember to take your medicine.

This large chunk of unscheduled time just breeds forgetfulness and carelessness so please remember to take your medications

especially those of you that take medications that cause you serious mental and physical drawbacks if you miss a dose

Drink water

yes you

the one thats slowly shriveling in the corner

go to the sink and fill up a glass

then chug it

Eat. Regularly. Scheduled. Meals

routine is everything

so do me a favor and eat three meals a day at roughly the same time ok?

I don't care if you're not hungry, just eat a saltine or something

Also try to eat at least semi healthy because eating unbalanced meals for days weeks and months... will make you malnourished.

Carnivores

Veggies

Vegans

Stretch

I mean it. This is a threat.

stretch the shoulders that have been hunched over the past two months sitting on the couch doing work on your laptop

stretch your back thats been in a permanent curl sitting in shitty unsupportive positions

stretch your legs that haven't walked more than twenty feet in the past week

Stretch your wrists and hands because working on a computer all day hurts the muscles

Shower/Take care of yourself

just because you don't have physically see anyone doesn't mean you get to skip brushing your teeth

your friends can't smell you but God can

remember to wash your face

and clean behind your ears

also get dressed

just because you have nowhere to be doesn't mean you get to stay in pajamas all day

getting dressed actually helps with tricking your brain into thinking it needs to actually get work done.

Clean up after yourself

you're home a lot more now which means you're going to be making an even bigger mess.

just please wash your dishes right after you use them and don't let them pile up

you’ll thank me later

also since you’re spending so much time at home now. You no longer have an excuse not to clean.

“ohh I'm too busy!”

where are you busy? Just go clean the bathroom.

Let yourself have time to relax

watch some TV

not the news

Play some video games

pet your dog

but dont let it consume your entire day

(dog petting is an exception. you can spend the whole day doing that)

Find something to do with your hands

I’m talking to all you fidgety ADHD kids

learn to knit or something

before you say “I don't have knitting needles”

use pencils. I did that when I was a kid and my scarves turned out fine.

make a friendship bracelet

if y'all want I will make you a tutorial on some simple designs.

they are literally so easy to make

Learn to weave

Bind a book

Also something I can make a tutorial on!

you don't need an awl! just a needle and some determination!

the possibilities are endless. just look up the handicrafts wikipedia page and pick one

Lastly....just sleep

I know the prospect of not having to be awake at a certain time just makes it oh so tempting to stay up until 5am but I’m begging you not to

I’ll say it again.

Just because you don't have anywhere to be doesn't mean you get to stop being a functional human.

trust me falling asleep at 5am and waking up at 3pm sounds great in theory, but all it does is mess with your brain.

try your best to get to bed at a decent time

and try your best to wake up at a decent time

Heed my warnings and remember to drink water.

#honestly this can apply to anyone #adhd #adhd coping #coping #quarentine #quarantine coping #adhd feel #adhd feels #living with adhd #adhd things #adhd tag #neurodivergent #actually adhd #executive dysfunction

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islamicrays · 4 years

Text

I found this useful.............💗Advice from a psychologist:

MENTAL HEALTH WELLNESS TIPS FOR QUARANTINE

1. Stick to a routine. Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, write a schedule that is varied and includes time for work as well as self-care.

Source: Unknown

#pandemic #reminder #covid19 #muslim #self isolation

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gustafsnightangel · 4 years

Text

Shattered Lives Ch 20 Pt 2

“Shhh Lily bear.” He cooed as he pulled her from the crib. “Let Mum Mum sleep some more.” Gustaf figured if he let her sleep late like yesterday she’d get a full eight hours before having to get up. Not only that his work consisted of reading scripts and doing interviews. Not exactly mentally taxing so he could nap if he needed to, he’d take the weight off her while it lasted. He sat Lily in her chair as Brendan came out of the bathroom and went to get the twins out of bed. He’d thought about doing that but this was their routine. He had to adjust to them not the other way around.

He got the kids settled at the table for breakfast and sipped his tea. They talked about what plans they had for their day, the soccer match after school, the one he wouldn’t be missing, and their weekend.

“Can you watch Lily, Brendan, I need to get Ama up for work.” He asked as he finished making their lunches.

“Sure.” The teenager said as he shoved the lunch Gustaf handed him in his bag. “Come here little monster.” He said blowing a raspberry on Lily’s neck and making her giggle.

She was a sight Gustaf thought as he set eyes on her, laying on her stomach, arms and legs sprawled at different angles. Smiling he crawled onto the bed and started kissing her shoulders, then neck, and finally those lips as she rolled over and looked at him.

“I let you sleep in again.” He grinned. “Time to get up.”

“Thanks.” Her voice was groggy and she looked as if she wasn’t all the way back from Neverland yet.

“Hop in a shower love, wake up, come have tea and breakfast.”

“Ok.” She yawned and stretched catching him around the neck before he could sit up. Pulling him to her she kissed him, that erotic taste of her making his head swim.

“You can’t kiss me like that when I can’t fuck you like I want to before you go to work.” He scoffed and her chuckle was wicked.

“Get up.” He laughed and left her to shower.

She never failed to take his breath away. Standing in the kitchen a little while later in a charcoal grey suit and peacock blue blouse, the woman was drop dead gorgeous. Lily snuggled into his chest as he slipped a hand over her hip and kissed her temple, lingering.

“You’re very lucky the kids are here love or you’d be extremely late for court.” His tone low, he knew what that tone did to her and would bet the house that she was wet and wanting.

“You can peel me out of it tonight.” She purred and took Lily from him. “But right now, we have to get going.” Her kiss was chaste and his hand, lightening quick, held her by the back of her neck as he kissed her slowly and deepened it.

“Bye love.” He grinned and kissed her deeply so it made her brain all fuzzy. “Have a good day.” He whispered.

“You too.” Her kiss was equally sinful.

“Have a good day boys.” He said finally finding his voice. She stole his breath like she’d stolen his soul.

There were choruses of you too and they were gone. The whirlwind of weekday mornings were enough to make his head spin. He tidied up and went home to start cleaning out the office he was planning for Sildie.

He hadn’t been in this room for a while. It had been a dumping ground for boxes and discarded items when he’d first moved in. Some of it still remained because he’d become so busy with work after Ana left he’d never finished cleaning it out. Well not anymore he thought. Time to clean this shit up and purge the items you clearly don’t need.

He found the more he let go of his shit with Ana the more he let go of other crap in his life. He waded through boxes of old books, clothes and general junk. When he stopped for a break he called a thrift store and scheduled them to pick it all up tomorrow, at least someone else might find his junk useful.

He was rummaging through a box when his hand stopped suddenly and his breath caught before whooshing out like someone had gut punched him.

“Fuck!” He choked and let the tears fall, he couldn’t have held them in even if he’d tried. “Fuck!” He sat heavily on the floor as his legs gave out from under him no longer able to keep him upright. Pulling himself to sit cross legged he held the tiny knitted bootie in his fingers, the super soft yarn whispering to him of a pain he’d never heal from.

A bootie from a child that never existed. Another spiteful game, another ploy by Ana at completely destroying him. It had almost worked if it hadn’t been for his mother. She’d seen through Ana’s lies when he was too distraught to, blinded by grief, by hatred for the woman who he’d given every part of himself to.

He let it out, the overwhelming fury, disgust, and pain. The grief of what could have been had it not been imagined, had it not been used to twist the knife in his already shattered soul. He felt the panic attack suddenly surface. It wasn’t surprising since this discovery had come on the heels of Wednesday evening. Too much, way too much to deal with.

With the bootie still in his hand he tried to suck down oxygen as his entire being freaked out. The sensation of a heart attack, asphyxiation, and passing out quite real in his mind. The nausea and dizziness almost winning their battle.

“Breathe.” He commanded himself. “Just. Fucking. Breathe.” He choked out. His thoughts turned to Sildie, her smile, her laugh and his breathing began to calm but he was shaking violently, the adrenaline all too real. He gradually got to his feet when he thought he could stand without collapsing and finding his phone he called Sildie’s number.

He knew he’d get her voicemail but just the sound of her greeting calmed him further. He left her a brief message and hoped it wasn’t too shaky. With the sudden urge to be out of his apartment he grabbed his coat, keys, beanie, and phone and locked the door behind him.

He placed a hand on the door and breathed, that was enough to settle him so he could drive. This was the first time he couldn’t deal with being in his own apartment and he hated Ana for that. His sanctuary, the home he’d hoped to make with Sildie someday. Fuck you he screamed in his mind. Fuck. You.

He drove around for an hour or so, thoughts running through his mind like a freight train. He couldn’t deal with that, couldn’t begin to even fathom how he’d tell Sildie. Before he really knew what he was doing he’d parked at the courthouse and sat staring out over the hood of the car at a concrete wall.

His phone vibrated and Sildie’s tone filled his ears. The sigh of relief relaxed him as he answered it. Somehow he’d made it to her like his entire being just knew what he needed.

“Hi love.” He tried not to convey too much grief in his tone.

“Hey, you ok? You sounded pretty shaken up.” She was on high alert now as she heard that sorrow in his voice.

“I’m ok now, found some stuff that slammed a few memories home, you know? Too much, too soon after Wednesday.” He said and let the tears come.

She was worried, rarely did he fall apart like this, rarely did he sound so defeated, so brittle. “Where are you?” She asked gently.

He chuckled. “Actually I’d been driving around for an hour or so before I found myself parked at your courthouse.”

“You’re in the garage?” She said surprised. This was worse than she’d thought.

“Yeah.”

“Third floor, room 6. Come up and have lunch with me I’ll have them pass you through.”

“Sildie I’m ok I just...”

“It wasn’t a request Gustaf.” She said sternly and cut him off. “I need to, I need to know that you’re ok. Come up and have lunch with me.” She softened her tone burying the fear. “Please.” He could hear the worry in her voice, that concern that made it quaver.

“You sure? I don’t want to get in the way.” Which was the truth. It was bad enough she was worried about him.

“You’re not. We’ve adjourned for the day.” Please love she pleaded silently, let me take care of you.

“Ok, I’ll be up soon.” He said quietly, knowing if he didn’t get upstairs in a timely manner she’d be in the garage with a team of security and would find his sorry ass. Then she’d be pissed and worried and worried was bad enough.

She hung up the phone and explained to her first chair she’d meet him back at the office or see him Monday. Oliver was heading back anyway so they’d at least have some privacy. She had the guard on the door go down and clear Gustaf through security.

She stood carefully as the door opened, braced herself for whatever was about to come her way, hands twisting in front of her. She knew just from the way his shoulders slumped the memory had hit him harder than she’d first anticipated, harder than Wednesday even. He came to her silently, it had to be his choice to talk to her. The fact he’d called her set her slightly at ease.

His arms came around her and he just held her. Her scent, her warmth, home, comfort. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to freak you out with my message.” He mumbled.

“It’s ok.” She took his face in her hands and kissed him sweetly. “Come sit and eat.” She wouldn’t bully him to talk, but she was hoping he’d talk to her eventually after she got him settled. His emotions were all over the place and she’d have to play it carefully.

“How long is your lunch break?” He asked as he seemed to fold himself up on the chair trying to make himself disappear.

“As long as I need.” She said softly, as she passed him half of her sandwich that he’d lovingly made for her this morning.

She smiled as he started to eat even though he probably didn’t feel like it. Her turn to care for him. She got up and went to the urn to make a fresh tea for them both giving him the space, the calm to collect himself and his thoughts.

As she placed the tea on the table and sat down she noticed he was fiddling with something, those talented fingers gently caressing fabric with such care as he stared out the window. She brushed a knuckle along the back of his hand and he sucked in a breath as he came back from where ever his mind had wandered off to.

“Sorry. Lost in thought there.” He smiled and looked at the beautiful woman across from him. How could he tell her, how could he not add more pain to those loving eyes he thought? “You were reading it.” He stated as his eyes fell on his notebook.

“At lunch I read some when I get a moment.” She said softly and he nodded letting out a slow breath as if he was preparing for battle. Which in his mind it probably was, she thought.

“I was cleaning out some stuff today in the second office. It had become a dumping ground for a lot of shit over the years. Figured while I’m home and cleaning the mind of unwanted crap I may as well clean my apartment of it too.” He chuckled but there was no humor in it.

“It’s good to purge the clutter.” Her voice was gentle as she knew this was going to hurt him so much and it killed her to see that pain in his usually bright eyes.

“It is.” He paused and looked at the item in his fingers. “I was sorting through a box when I came across this.” He said and gently placed the bootie on the table and pushed it toward Sildie, his index finger resting on it like he didn’t quite have the heart or will to truly let it go.

Oh fuck she thought, fucking fuck. Her whole body suddenly jerked with the shock of the tiny bootie in front of her like someone had slapped her fair across the face. She didn’t, Ana didn’t, Sildie thought and looked at him, those eyes so full of immeasurable pain. She did. Sildie felt that lethal fury surge forward, the plummet of her gut, that fucking bitch she swore silently. Never in her life had she contemplated homicide but she was working on it. She wanted to kill the bitch and had many creative ways to do it floating in and out of her mind.

He saw the realization, watched her mind work and click it into place. “I haven’t talked about this with anyone, it’s too painful.” He choked and took a steadying breath. “But I need to tell you, to get it out because this...” he tapped the fuzzy bootie. “This has ripped those wounds wide open again and I can’t breathe, I can’t get past it.” The sobs threatened and he slammed them down. He would get this out, he owed her the truth. Her finger stroked the back of his hand until he breathed and calmed his thoughts. She stayed silent not trusting her own emotions for the moment. She was barely breathing from the lethal fury coursing through her at the woman who had fucked with him, he was devastated.

Once he was more settled he sipped his tea and continued. “At the end of our relationship, when things had started turning really sour, Ana came home one night to tell me she was pregnant. I think it was her last ditch effort in keeping me chained to her. It brought us back together for a short time, I was determined to make it work for the sake of our child even though I had my doubts it was mine. We set up a nursery, bought clothes, did all the preparation. But when it became too difficult for her to continue the charade she faked a miscarriage.” He choked on his own words as they ripped his throat to shreds on their way out.

“I was devastated, heartbroken.” His voice cracked and her hand shot across the table and gripped his to urge him to get it all out. “I only found out later that it was all bullshit. My mum had done some digging of her own. Was I that fucking stupid?” He asked her through tears as he looked at her. “Was I so fucking stupid to not see something wasn’t right? So stupid to want to make it work when she was clearly in it for what, money, the joy in my pain? Fuck I don’t know anymore.”

“No love. You’re not stupid.” She murmured, standing she moved to him. “You’re kind, and gentle, and loving, but you’re not stupid.” She wrapped her arms around him and held his head to her as he cried. You’re just a man that’s far too kind and sweet for his own good she thought.

“How was I so blind to what she was?” His voice was hoarse.

“She’s a master manipulator love. A narcissist, and they’re very good at playing those sorts of head games.” She said softly, kissing his brow.

He pulled her into his lap and just held her as she held him. Sildie was at a point she was ready to find this Ana and make her regret ever tangling with him.

“I’m sorry. Shit, I’m sorry Sildie. You don’t need this right now and we’re at your work and...” He said suddenly as if realizing they weren’t at home. She cupped a hand to his cheek and wiped the stray tear away.

“It’s ok love.” She kissed him lovingly, that sweetness that soothed. “Thank you for telling me, coming to me.”

“I’m sorry I just needed you.” He rested his head against hers. “Sorry, I’m being so fucking needy.” He huffed.

“I’m always here for you love. Even if it’s a little delayed because I’m in court. I’ll always find time for you.” Especially at the moment when you’re so lost she added silently.

“I should go and let...”

“Stay a while.” She kissed him tenderly. “Please? There’s no rush. I just have some reading to do before leaving early for the game tonight and I can do that right here. With you.”

“Fuck what time is that again. I swear my brain isn’t functioning right now.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and swiped the tears away.

“It’s at five. You can hang here if you want for a few hours and follow or go home first, it’s up to you.” She kissed him again and she felt him relax. “Drink your tea.” She smiled. “Relax your mind.”

“Thank you.” He said quietly as he kissed her temple.

“Together remember.” She looked at the bootie and her heart sank. He wanted kids, it was obvious, and she was still on the fence. That was a much bigger problem for another day.

He sipped his tea and let his mind wander. Mainly to him and Sildie having a brood of their own. He knew she didn’t want kids and that thought weighed heavily on him. For the immediate future they had four kids to raise, wasn’t that enough?

“Another tea?” She asked and stood collecting her cup. He nodded and she took his with her to refill.

Sitting across from him again she placed the teacups on the table. She picked up the bootie and held it a moment, his eyes following it as she slipped it into his notebook with all the other toxic memories. He felt the pang of loss again as she closed the cover. It was where it belonged now, he thought, in with all the other shit Ana had put him through. The child was nothing it a lie, it was never real and he had to remember that.”

“Are you ok if it stays in there?” She asked gently.

He nodded quickly. “It’s where it belongs.”

“I need to do some reading you ok to sit with me for a bit?” She asked hoping he’d stay. She was worried for him at the moment, his state of mind more fragile than she’d first thought.

“I’ll finish my tea and then go home and get some stuff done before the game. I have a load of laundry that needs to end up in the dryer.” He chuckled dryly. He was starting to come back to her she thought. Those eyes of Viking blue clearer now even if they were rimmed with red.

“Could you grab my longer coat for me? I forgot to toss it in the car this morning as someone was distracting me with kisses that were very tasty.” She smirked.

“Anything for you love.” He reached across the table and took her fingers in his and brought them to his lips. He kissed them and nipped her knuckle playfully. He needed to put it away, he couldn’t stay in that blackness for too long or it would consume him whole, again, and it was bad enough the first time around. He’d let it out, he’d told the one person that mattered, now it was time to put it away, move on from it.

She watched him bury it, putting it aside so it didn’t come between them. She read her files, her fingers intertwined with his as he sipped his tea, absently stroking them but well aware of his mental state. Watching her work he felt the calm settle over him and by the time he’d finished his tea he he would have just enough time to make it home, collect her coat and grab some snacks for the game. He squeezed her fingers and brought them to his lips, kissing them before he stood.

He didn’t have to tug her to her feet, she stood and wrapped her arms around him without hesitation. She could feel his sorrow, his pain, it ripped through him like a storm cloud tearing itself apart on a raging wind.

“Feeling better?” She asked gently.

“Much, thank you.” He kissed her, that slow burn that promised so much more.

“See you at the game?” She asked breathless.

“You bet.” He kissed her again. “Text me when you’re on your way.” He said softly and pulled his coat on. “I may need the reminder.”

“I will, drive safe love.” She kissed him slowly, that lingering kiss that spelled seduction. Watched as he walked away, those long legs eating up the floor quickly.

As soon as he got home he went straight to the office and dug around in the same box the bootie was in. There was nothing else to remind him of the phantom child. Breathing a sigh of relief he sat on the floor heavily. The sooner this crap from their relationship was out of his apartment the better.

Two more boxes to go and he would tackle those tomorrow before the guys from the second hand store arrive to pick everything up. He took the three bags of trash down, happy to finally be rid of it, grabbed snacks and Sildie’s coat and headed to the game, her text tone filling the elevator on his way down to the car. He wasn’t going to be late or miss this one for anything.

He made it to the game before Sildie, which wasn’t unusual as she had to collect Lily from daycare. He sat in their usual spot, the twins barreling over to him at full speed and tackled him in a bear hug.

“You came.” Liam grinned.

“Sure did.” He grinned and gave them quick hugs before their coach called them back over.

“Go on, I’ll be right here, all game.” He chuckled as they sprinted back to their team.

He heard the dad dad before he saw his two best girls. Turning he smiled and clapped his hands for Lily and she almost threw herself at him.

“Hello little lady.” He said kissing the toddler until she giggled. “Hello lovely lady.” He murmured in that low timbre she’d missed over these past weeks.

“Hi.” She trailed a finger down his jaw and kissed him sweetly. His eyebrow arched. It was the first time she’d kissed him here, in public.

“Where’s Brendan?” Gustaf asked when he didn’t see the teen with her.

“Last minute sleepover.” She handed over Lily to Gustaf and pulled her heavier coat on that stopped the chill dead. “He’s hitting the rink tomorrow with a hockey buddy for some skating practice.”

“It means a lot to him.” He said sitting Lily in his lap and helping her clap her hands for the boys as they took the field.

“Yes, it was Quinn’s favorite sport to watch and when he suggested it to Brendan the kid took to it like a duck to water. Now he just wants to make his dad proud.”

“It’s good for him too, team building, team work.”

“It is. Same for these two trouble makers.” She nodded and stood up as Finn had the ball. “Go go go go.” She breathed as he tore down the field.

“He got it!” Her smile was electric and he kissed her temple as she sat back down.

“He got it. One for Liam?”

“Fingers crossed.” She said grinning. He looked slightly better than a few hours ago she thought, but he was still reeling. He was here though, with her, with the kids, talking. Things were better even with the shock find today.

By the end of the game the twins had a goal a piece and were on cloud nine when they came off the field.

“Did you see it Gustaf?” Liam asked beaming. “Did you see it?”

“Sure did, and Finn’s. What do you think Ama, ice cream to celebrate?”

“I think that’s perfect.” She grinned as the twins climbed all over Gustaf with hugs and excitement. This was just what he needed to pull him back from all that grief today.

The kids piled into the car as Gustaf strapped Lily in her car seat. He shut the door once Finn was in and pressed Sildie against it kissing her deeply.

“With Brendan at a sleepover, do you think Lily can sleep in his room tonight?” He kissed her again, more seductively than the first.

“Perhaps.” She grinned, knowing his mind had gone exactly where hers had.

“Because to be honest I can’t fit on his bed comfortably while I fuck you until you scream.” He chuckled. “I have a taste for you tonight love.” He growled and she felt her wetness pool at that tone. “I’m going to make you come all night long.” He gently nipped her bottom lip, gave her a scorching gaze and stepped back.

“See you at home love.” She said breathlessly, the sudden chill from not having his body pressed against him making her shiver.

“I’ll pick up dinner.” He quipped as he walked to his car.

“Fuck me.” She breathed out as she watched him leave, the swagger making her smile. “He turns me on from frigid to fuck me daddy like no other.” She muttered and opened the car door once she’d composed herself.

The twins talked on the way home and entertained a now tired Lily. She was starting to implode by the time Sildie got through the door, and was almost screaming for Gustaf before her bath.

“He’ll be back soon Lily.” She soothed and let the water trickle over the quietly sobbing child. “He’ll be back soon with pizza and snuggles. And we’ll work on making him feel better, he’s had a rough day.”

Gustaf came home about twenty minutes later with pizza and ice cream for the boys and Thai and dessert for the adults. The faint sob of dad dad as Lily reached for him made him smile. “Come here little lady you’re beyond it.”

“She was beyond it when we got out of the car.” Sildie said handing over the cranky toddler. She cleared off her chair and dumped her bag next to his and smiled at the sight, homey, normal. She looked at the twins and then at Gustaf. Ice cream before pizza, and she let it slide. She couldn’t ruin a moment where things were settled. They’d eat the pizza, what did it matter if it was after dessert she thought?

“Thai?” She asked sitting down.

“Yeah something different.” He chuckled. Lily she noticed was tucked into him and nearly asleep.

He would make such a great father, the tiny voice in her head said cheekily. She almost choked on that thought. Did she really want kids? To add to the four they were already responsible for, that she was responsible for? That decision was still a long way off and a maybe at that, there was nothing solid about it yet. Besides, she was over forty, hadn’t that ship already sailed?

“Sorry what?” She chuckled.

“You were off somewhere else.” He smiled and brushed a finger over the back of her hand.

“Sorry, long day. My mind keeps drifting back to the case.” The case of do I want kids with you? And she needed to put that out of her mind. It would be too raw for him to discuss right now, and she didn’t even know if she wanted that, one step at a time.

“I have some guys coming over tomorrow to collect the junk I don’t want anymore and I have two more boxes to sort before one.” He repeated as she found the box of rice.

“That’s fine, we’re here this weekend, nothing planned. I’ll be reading as usual.” She snorted.

“Our normal.” He chuckled.

“Yeah. We should adjourn for discovery Monday or Tuesday. Today went well so we’re back on track after the near disaster last week.” She forked some coconut rice with beef masuman into her mouth and almost moaned. “Where did you get this from?”

“Waan Thai. They’re my favorite.” He said and shifted the deadweight of Lily in his arms.

“I can see why. So good.”

“As authentic as you can get without leaving the country.”

“She’s asleep.” She chuckled and speared a shrimp off his plate when he looked down at the sleeping child.

“Living dangerously I see.” He growled. “I happen to like coconut shrimp and you keep stealing them off my plate.” He laughed as she tried to steal another and their forks clashed as he defended his food.

“Gotta be quicker than that love.” She winked at him as she speared another and ate it.

“You’ll pay for that.” He growled and she knew he’d collect after the kids had gone to bed.

She tidied up as he put Lily down and made a pot of tea. When he didn’t come out she went to find him. Leaning on the doorframe she watched as he talked to her softly, her tiny hand gripping his finger tightly.

She knelt behind him and ran her hands over his shoulders and down his chest, kissing his temple. “Come have some tea.” She whispered. “We can move her once she’s out cold.”

She stood up and helped him to his feet. It was only then she saw the tears. She wiped them away tenderly and stood there cradling him to her. This wound was much deeper than the others.

“Sorry.” He huffed a chuckle.

“Don’t be, it’s ok.” She said softly. “Better you let it out than lock it away again.” She smiled. “At least that’s what some guy told me once.” She quipped kissing him sinfully. She’d use sex and seduction much like he had done to pull her out of the all consuming abyss.

“Some guy huh?” He huffed in mock annoyance.

“Yeah just some guy.” She kissed him again shrugging and felt the smile tug his lips. “Some guy that rocks my world just by looking at me the way he does.” Those ocean eyes met her and she smiled. “Just like that. Like I’m the only woman in the world.”

“You are for me.” He murmured and kissed her with that love he’d unbound this past week.

“Come on some guy.” She grinned. “The tea’s well brewed by now.”

They sat at the table for tea while the twins played quietly in their rooms. Liam was banned from video games for two weekends and Finn didn’t want to play alone as Brendan wasn’t home.

“I have a few interviews over your way Monday. Maybe get together for lunch?” He asked sipping his strong tea, toying with her fingers.

“I’m going to say maybe. I have to see what the day is going to throw at us.” She said and took his hand. “I want to but I have to see.”

“Fair enough.” He smiled and thought he might just sneak in and watch her from the back of the courtroom. He’d wanted to see her work from their first Friday tea date. Those were moves of a different kind he wanted to see.

As he sat he calmed, composure a hard task master after the rollercoaster of emotions today. Eventually needing to keep busy he got the twins in the bath and talked while they played, letting them splash him as few times before he retaliated and they had a small water fight. Once dry they headed back to their room to read and chill before lights out as Gustaf cleaned up the mess.

He came back into the living room to soft jazz, a fresh pot of tea, the dim lights, and Sildie in the kitchen tidying up. He smiled, she was trying to care for him as he’d cared for her only weeks ago. A sob threatened and he rammed it down. No other woman he’d dated had ever done something like this for him before, cared for him before. He had obviously been dating the wrong women he thought dryly.

He looked tired and stressed as he came into the living room, not surprising after his shock find this morning, she thought. She walked to him and caught his hand before he could sit, pulling him into her arms and swaying.

“Dance with me.” She murmured and sighed as those hands found their place on her body.

“Romancing me?” He smiled, swaying with her.

“Trying.” She chuckled and kissed him tenderly. “I’m not as good as you at it.”

“It’s working just fine love.” He breathed and nuzzled her cheek kissing her temple as they danced slowly. “You have the kindest heart.” He said so softly she almost didn’t hear it.

“So do you love. It’s just been taken advantage of for far too long.” Her words hit him hard and he had no choice but to let the tears fall, silent but not unheard. “How do I help you love? What do you need from me?” She asked just wanting to take all his pain away so he didn’t have to feel it anymore.

“This. You.” He sniffed. “Just you.” He chuckled. “And the audience we have at the door.” He murmured and she looked up to see the twins watching them.

“They’re missing their parents.” She whispered, her finger trailed his jaw and she kissed him sweetly. “Quinn and Dana used to dance in the kitchen while Dana was cooking.”

“That’s a nice memory for them.” He kissed her brow and smiled as a tiny pair of hands squeezed his thigh. He looked down to see Finn hugging him and Liam hugging Sildie.

He stopped and dropped his hand to rest on the kids head. His heart filled to bursting with the love that he felt from them. He looked at Sildie and her smile rocked his soul.

“They care about you.” She whispered and kissed him gently. “They don’t like seeing you hurting either.” Her thumb brushed the stray tear away and her kiss seemed to calm him.

He crouched down and bundled the kids to him for a hug. So much love in them and they gave it so freely. Without a word he hoisted the both up and carried them to bed to tuck in.

“Love you.” Liam said softly as Gustaf peeled his arms from around his neck.

“I love you too but time for bed ok?”

“Are you ok?” Finn asked quietly.

“I’ll be fine. Rough week, but I have you guys to come home to and get to watch you score goals, so my week got better.” He smiled.

“The weeks done though so you can have a better week starting now.” Liam said brightly.

“I like that idea.” Gustaf said and smiled at the kid.

“Can you read to us?” Finn asked quietly.

“You want me to?” He asked and they both nodded. He picked up the second book of Harry Potter and started reading.

She smiled as she heard his voice, that low smooth tone reciting words from a book they all loved. The twins had conned him into reading even though it was well past their bedtime but she let it go. These little changes were good, they were bonding. Things were starting to get back to what was their normal.

She was reading his notebook when he came out of the twins room and closed the hall door. She put it away before he turned to her, not wanting him to see her reading it. He didn’t need that blatantly shoved in his face over and over again. She had to admit though, she wanted to find this Ana and kick her ass a few thousand times. He stood before her and held out his hand. Taking it he pulled her to him and swayed.

“Now, where were we?” He murmured and kissed her cheek before pressing his to hers.

“About here.” She chuckled. “They conned you you know.” She said gently.

“I know. I don’t mind as long as you don’t.” He looked at her and worried if he’d stepped over a line.

“It’s Friday, and they would have been up playing games anyway had Brendan been home.” She kissed him. “Besides it’s important to them, and you.”

“I needed it to tell you the truth. They ground me but in a different way. Kids see things so black and white, it’s refreshing.” He kissed her brow and breathed out letting all the stress of the week go with it. Liam was right, he could start a new week right now that was much better than the last.

“They do.” She let her hands wander to eventually wrap around his neck and kissed him with that mind blanking kiss.

“Fuck that turns me on.” He growled and kissed her as she chuckled wickedly.

“I know.” She breathed and kissed him again. His hands suddenly sprang to life and gripped her tightly.

His head was spinning delightfully when she let him go, that sinful mouth delivering an equally sinful kiss.

“I’ll go setup the crib in Brendan’s room.” She whispered and kissed him again. “Because I need you.”

Her look at him from under her lashes made his cock twitch and harden. Damn she could play the game. He held her to him firmly as she went to pull away and kissed her, that devastating kiss that made her whimper for him.

“I’m going to make you scream for me.” He murmured, that silky low tone making her pussy instantly wet.

“Not if I make you scream first.” She purred and nipped his bottom lip gently as he chuckled.

He watched her walk to the hall door, hips sashaying. He groaned and the look of undiluted seduction she shot over her shoulder at him had him straining in his jeans. He followed a beat later and went to pick up the sleeping toddler.

She didn’t stir as he cradled her to him. Those tiny hands subconsciously fisting in his shirt as he soothed her back. He grabbed her bear and blanket and waited until Sildie had finished.

As Gustaf settled Lily she turned off the lights and checked the front door. She stepped into her bedroom and shut the door, clicking the lock in place. He stood at the window staring out, his shoulders relaxed. She smiled and went to stand behind him.

She lay her hands on his shoulder blades and felt him relax further. She loved the feel of his strong soft body under her hands, the ripple of muscle, lean and toned after weeks of pounding the bag. Resting her head between his blades she snaked her arms around him to press her palms to his chest.

His scent, strong and calming consumed her. Those gentle hands covered hers as she pressed herself tighter to him. It had been a rough day for him and she’d let him have his thoughts a little longer before pulling him away from it again.

She’d pulled his thoughts back from where they’d wandered off to, not really thinking of anything in particular. Her scent wove around him, calmed him. He took both her hands in his and kissed them before dropping them to turn in her arms. Without a word he kissed her, that heartbreaking tenderness that spoke of love and trust.

He didn’t want anymore words tonight, just to feel her under him, the soft sounds as he made love to her. She gave herself to him, feeling his need to pleasure, to give. His fingers dipped between silk and skin to open the buttons of her blouse and watch it fall to the floor with a whisper, her suit pants pooling at her feet. His goddess in black lace standing before him. He removed her hair clip and watched the molten copper cascade down. Running his fingers through it he kissed her, that slow, mind altering kiss that left her wrecked.

He walked her back and she sat as she felt the mattress at the back of her knees. Bending low he kissed her as those slender fingers removed his shirt, peeled the belt, black denim, and briefs from his hips and released his hardening manhood. He leaned forward, hand bracing her spine as she lay down and kissed her from lips to cleavage as he knelt before her.

He lost himself to her as he kissed every inch of that silky skin. She cried out softly as he tasted her through the black lace, her hands fisting in the sheets already. He hooked her legs over his shoulders and feasted, not waiting for her brain to process what he was doing.

As his mouth claimed her clit his fingers plunged into her deeply, her taste arousing him further. Hard gentle strokes that had her hips bucking against him as she rode them. He watched her body writhe to the tune he was pulling from it.

This was all about her, the pleasure he could give her, the love he would give her. He’d hurt her this week, the past few weeks and that didn’t sit well with him. He needed to be better.

He ravaged her until she cried out, pussy clenching his fingers. He continued to bring her undone, determined to completely and pleasurably wreck her. Kissing his way up her body as her climax ebbed he slipped inside her as he claimed her mouth with his.

She was still panting from her orgasm as his mouth devoured hers, his cock buried deep. He hadn’t let her come down from the euphoric high before building her up to a new one. She wrapped her legs around his hips as the steady slow rhythm destroyed her system.

“Gustaf.” She choked as she crested so quickly it caught her off guard. He tipped her over again without hesitation. Her hands reached to caress his chest, the feel of him only adding to her euphoria.

He nipped her jaw, her neck, as he quickened his pace, the change causing that beautiful gasp and moan to escape her mouth. With his feet on the floor and body resting on his elbows his thrusts became deep and hard, her nails slightly biting into his shoulders as he took her. He felt her body under him shake with the force of each thrust, the tremble as it succumb to him.

She was delirious, that long thick shaft pistoning into her, bottoming out at every thrust, all while his hard toned body pinned her to the sheets. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d told her he was going to make her come all night long.

He tipped her over for three more mind altering orgasms before his breathing became ragged, her pussy squeezing him deliciously tighter with each one. He lost himself to her, feasting on her slender neck, finding her pulse and grazing it with his teeth, the promise of a bite. The brush of his body against hers as he pounded into her relentlessly in the pursuit of their pleasure.

“Sildie” He whispered as her entire body went taught like an over strung bow. Her orgasm slammed into her, tearing that soft scream from her throat as he bit down on the pulse at her neck. Wave after wave of ecstasy crashed through her as his own groan of pleasure mixed with hers as he came.

She took his face in her hands and kissed him sinfully.

“You can’t kiss me like that when I just fucked you.” His throaty chuckle still wicked.

“Can’t talk.” She heaved as she struggled to breathe. “No words.”

“I did warn you.” He growled and kissed her tenderly. “And I’m not done.”

“I have kids to get up for tomorrow love.” She said softly.

“You can sleep in, I can get the kids. Besides, seeing you all lawyered up today got me hard.” He kissed her seductively. “And wanting.” He kissed her again and lingered looking down at her. “It turns me on.”

He took the kiss deeper and heard her moan.

“I love it when you kiss me like that.” She said breathlessly and felt him smile against her lips.

He crawled off her to stand and held out his hand for hers. “Stand a moment.” He said and tugged her to stand with him. “You’re still wearing entirely way too much.” He whispered and kissed her like a man possessed.

She rested her hands on his chest liking the feel of the smattering of hair that caressed her fingers as his started their destructive trail. Over and under lace he teased and aroused, those lips equally seductive on her neck and throat.

“My goddess.” He whispered and kissed her as he tenderly pulled her bra straps from her shoulders. “So beautiful.” He murmured as he released her heavy breasts for the confines of the lace.

He dipped his head to capture a nipple and roll it over his tongue. Her hands stroked up his neck and over his head to hold him to her as her head dropped back. While he feasted on her breast his hand trailed lightly to brush over the scrap of lace at her crotch, fingers diving between lace and skin to slowly slide them down her legs, he left the lace top stockings where they were, he had a thing for them on her lovely pins.

He kissed up her throat and claimed her mouth, she deepened it as his hands gripped her hips tightly. She let him up for air and as those dusty blue eyes met hers she bit her bottom lip. His chuckle was met with a sly smile and he kissed her tenderly, sucking her bottom lip free.

“One day love.” He warned. “But not today.” He spun her sharply and held her against his chest, her hands pinned to her hips with his. “Doesn’t mean you won’t be begging.” He growled. “Let me have you.” He said releasing her wrists and cupping her breasts, thumbs grazing over her erect nipples.

“Always.” She breathed as she gave herself to him, for him to take her how he pleased. She loved it when he was in full control, her own challenge at getting him to break, to lose that control while he was inside her.

“On your knees.” He whispered and nipped the shell of her ear gently. “I know you like it when I fuck you like this.” His tone that low rumble that sent a shiver rippling across her skin as his hand brushed up her throat to squeeze gently.

She knelt on the edge of the bed, his hand at her throat gently as he guided her. His lips devoured the nape of her neck and she could feel the power that radiated off him, she loved feeling it as he took control with a promise of such pleasure. With the hand on her throat his other tormented her as his fingers danced to an erotic tune over her skin.

She rested her head against his chest and cried out as his finger dipped between her slick folds and over her clit. “My goddess.” He whispered. “How beautiful you are when you come for me.” He tipped her over the edge into bliss and gently squeezed her throat, the feeling of her pulse thrummed under his fingers.

He guided her down to stretch her arms out above her head on the mattress, that supple body ready for him to claim. He teased her mercilessly, that one finger igniting a fire over her skin at every pass. He he trailed it along her inner thighs and spread her wide, gripped his cock in his hand he eased the tip into her heat, her cry one of pleasure.

He slowly tip fucked her until she was squirming, whimpering for him to plunge into her depths. He reached around and circled a slender finger pad over her clit as she tensed and felt her pussy grip and suck at him as she came. It was only then that he sheathed himself deep inside her as she cried out.

He set a rhythm that he could maintain for a longer time period, determined to bring his woman undone and see her completely wrecked before the end of the night. With his finger endlessly circling her clit and labia he plunged deep and hard. She climaxed over and over again until her body was shaking violently. It was then he took her hard.

She couldn’t think, barely able to catch her breath between her orgasm ebbing and another crashing through her. She let herself be taken, be pleasured, be claimed by him. The euphoria overwhelming and consuming her.

He pistoned his hips faster, pounded into her to sate his need to feel her, fuck her. Her pussy still delightfully stroking him with each orgasm until he was as lost as she was.

“Sildie.” His breathing ragged. “Come for me, take me with you.” He flicked her clit in a relentless pattern and felt her tense tighter than before. Her whimpers more desperate than before. “Scream for me.”

With her hands fisted in the sheets above her head she rocked back, his cock taking her deeper. With a scream of his name into the mattress her orgasm shattered her.

“Fuck Sildie!” He choked as he followed her. Those powerful thighs trembling as he took her fast and hard, his release almost making him black out.

They both stilled until the only sound was of their heavy panting trying to force oxygen into their lungs until her breathless giggle made him chuckle. He pulled out of her gently and lay on the bed bundling her to him rather awkwardly as his muscles didn’t seem to want to work anymore than hers did. He nuzzled her throat and eventually kissed those lips he adored.

“You know.” She said still breathing heavy. “We are going to kill each other if we keep this up.” Her grin was as wide as his.

“Totally worth it.” He huffed and kissed her again. “Sleep now love.”

“Already half way there.” She mumbled as it literally claimed her just as hard as Gustaf just had.

He smiled as he kissed her head and curled her into him. He would say those words to her, he would get Ana out of his life and his mind for good.

**********************************************

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam

#gustaf skarsgard #gustaf skarsgard fanfiction #shattered lives

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c-ptsdrecovery · 4 years

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Mental Health Wellness Tips for Quarantine

From Facebook, written by Betsy Williams Briggs

[As an anxious person myself, please note: this is not a list of EVERYTHING YOU SHOULD BE DOING. Pick the things that will help you and let the others go! <3 ]

From a psychologist: After having thirty-one sessions this week with patients where the singular focus was COVID-19 and how to cope, I decided to consolidate my advice and make a list that I hope is helpful to all. I can't control a lot of what is going on right now, but I can contribute this.

MENTAL HEALTH WELLNESS TIPS FOR QUARANTINE

1. Stick to a routine. Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, write a schedule that is varied and includes time for work as well as self-care.

#coronavirus

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thought-it-undaunted · 4 years

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Copied and Pasted

******************

Got this from my friend who’s brother is an MD and psychologist.

After having thirty-one sessions this week with patients where the singular focus was COVID-19 and how to cope, I decided to consolidate my advice and make a list that I hope is helpful to all.

MENTAL HEALTH WELLNESS TIPS FOR QUARANTINE

1. Stick to a routine. Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, write a schedule that is varied and includes time for work as well as self-care.

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mt-is-mental · 4 years

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mental health and wellness tips for quarantine

Ok so this text isn’t my own, it was sent to me and I have permission to share so here it is! Hopefully it helps.

Coping strategies for COVID-19

This is long, but important, very much like our quarantine. It was written by a psychologist from New York and shared with me by my dear friend and mentor, Birmingham therapist Sydney Reiter.

MENTAL HEALTH WELLNESS TIPS FOR QUARANTINE

1. Stick to a routine. Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, write a schedule that is varied and includes time for work as well as self-care.

5. Reach out to others, you guessed it, at least once daily for thirty minutes. Try to do FaceTime, Skype, phone calls, texting— connect with other people to seek and provide support. Don’t forget to do this for your children as well. Set up virtual playdates with friends daily via FaceTime, Facebook Messenger Kids, Zoom, etc—your kids miss their friends, too!

6. Stay hydrated and eat well. This one may seem obvious, but stress and eating often don’t mix well, and we find ourselves over- indulging, forgetting to eat, and avoiding food. Drink plenty of water, eat some good and nutritious foods, and challenge yourself to learn how to cook something new!

#coronavirus #coronavirus tw #covid-19 #covid-19 tw #quarantine #quarantine tw #coping skills #mental health #mental health and wellness

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jeremystrele · 4 years

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A Day In The Life Of Rae Johnston, Trailblazing TV Journalist And Organisation Super-Woman!

A Day In The Life

Sasha Gattermayr

SBS and NITV’s first science and tech editor, Rae Johnston. Photo – Alisha Gore.

‘I used to be a terrible morning person, but now I love it. It’s so peaceful,’ says Rae. Photo – Alisha Gore.

Rae has been working from home recently, and spends the first hour of the day clearing her inbox. At 9am the NITV team has an editorial meeting where everyone pitches their stories for the next 24 hours. Photo – Alisha Gore.

Once she’s gone on air or pre-recorded from the TV studio, Rae heads into the voice-over or radio booth to record a podcast episode or promo voice-overs. Photo – Alisha Gore.

Rae has just finished Uncanny Valley by Anna Wiener, an acclaimed memoir about the author’s experiences as a woman working in a tech startup in Silicon Valley. Photo – Alisha Gore.

Rae Johnston is an incessantly curious person. She has a system-minded brain and a constant thirst for knowledge, the perfect combo for a groundbreaking journalist at the top of her game. She is also a lifelong gamer and self-confessed geek, two passions that primed her for success in her first TV gig – a role as a video game TV presenter. This was the start of her windy, non-traditional route to journalism, one that involved no formal study and a LOT of on-the-spot learning.

‘I went through so much hate and harassment online during my early career, as one of the few female video game journalists in the country (and the world) that I’m pretty much indestructible at this point,’ she says. ‘There is very little about my own life that I keep private – I believe that by sharing the ups and downs in my life it helps break down the idea you have to be “perfect” on social media.’

Now, she’s at NITV and SBS, as the network’s first Science and Technology editor, a role which sees her producing content for television, podcasts and digital channels, as well as hosting tech and science-related panels and events around the country.

‘I love creating processes and efficient ways of working,’ says Rae, identifying herself as a ‘routine person’. ‘That’s always the biggest challenge of helping to create a new role – figuring out how it will work within the existing business – but it’s also my favourite part. Present me a problem, I’ll find five solutions and categorise them by effectiveness, resources required, and time needed to implement them.’

She’s not kidding. The big reveal during our interview (which is a surprise to no one once you’ve seen Rae’s credentials) is that she’s a fastidiously organised person. Between uninstalling social media desktop apps, scheduling her workdays down to 30-minute increments, and some pretty serious spreadsheets I would love to get my hands on for my own life admin purposes, Rae has some of the most impressive productivity hacks going around.

But when it comes down to it, for Rae everything rests on the four ‘wells’: well-rested, well-fed, well-caffeinated and well-organised. I’m obsessed with that mantra.

FIRST THING

I set my alarm for 5am every weekday. On Saturdays I let myself wake up naturally, but it’s usually no later than 7am whether I like it or not. On Sundays, I’m up early again to get ready for a hike.

On weekdays, the first thing I do is throw on my activewear and head to the gym. I like to do classes, whatever is happening, to mix it up. It’s usually a combination of yoga, boxing, and reformer pilates. On Saturdays, I grab a coffee with my husband and son and take our dog to the park. On Sundays I pack my hiking backpack with a thermos of tea and head off to a National Park for the day.

I used to be a terrible morning person, but now I love it. It’s so peaceful.

MORNING

Most days I work from home all day. If I’m hosting an event, or have a filming day in the studio I’ll drive. I bought a car for the first time this year, after 20 years of receiving not-worth-trading-in-hand-me-downs from family. I love driving.

I get back from the gym about 7am. I’ll pop my headphones in and catch up on news podcasts while I do some housework and have a coffee, then at 8am my workday begins.

I like to spend the first hour of the day clearing my inbox, then at 9am the NITV team has an editorial meeting where we all pitch our stories for the day. I could be writing an article for online, producing a TV news segment, scripting an explainer for our current affairs program, or preparing for a podcast episode. Working across all platforms means I have so much flexibility with where stories get to go.

For the rest of the morning, I’m usually making TV and radio appearances as well as chasing and conducting interviews on Zoom for my upcoming stories. It’s my peak research time.

I’ve been getting better at having breakfast every day. Working from home means I can cook something decent to eat while I’m doing my research.

LUNCHTIME

I break for lunch at 12pm every day, and try to eat in the sun as well. I’m following the CSIRO Total Wellbeing Diet at the moment – it makes me feel better, and gives me more energy.

AFTERNOON

If it’s a studio day, I’ll drive to the SBS/NITV studios after lunch. There I’ll usually head straight into hair and makeup, where I edit my scripts from my phone.

Once I’ve gone on air or pre-recorded from the TV studio, I’ll head into the voice-over or radio booth to record a podcast episode or promo voice-overs.

Then I like to clear my inbox again. Some days, I can get through all my emails.

My final task of the workday is to sort out my schedule for the following day. My life basically looks like a game of Tetris in a Google Calendar.

I usually have a big afternoon slump after recording – being on-air fills me with so much adrenaline, once it leaves my body I just want to nap. I usually have a piece of fruit and a cup of tea to give me a boost at around 4pm.

EVENING

I officially finish at 6pm, but sometimes I have radio or TV appearances in the evening. I find it hard to get any writing work done once the sun sets. I’m great in daylight hours, but as soon as it gets dark, my brain turns to mush.

Myself, my husband and my son take turns to cook – it’s great. If I’m cooking, I’m usually roasting a chicken or making a big pot of soup. My son is the burger specialist, and my husband loves to smoke meat, it’s amazing.

I love to knit while we watch a movie at nighttime. My nan taught me to knit when I was little, and I recently picked it back up again. It’s something to do with my hands that isn’t mindlessly scrolling through Instagram.

I do one of two things to switch off – I hike, and I play video games. Both force me to focus on one thing, don’t allow me to multitask, and show me new and wonderful places with friends and family.

LAST THING

I’m usually in bed by 9:30pm. I’ll start to wind down at 8:30pm with a hot shower, my skincare routine, some comfy PJs, a herbal tea and a book. I’ve started journaling recently, too.

I have clinical depression, and getting enough sleep every night helps me manage it. If I have a bad night, it can throw me off for a week. Sleep is very important to me, and I need a lot of it.

‘If it’s a studio day, I’ll drive to the SBS/NITV studios after lunch. There I’ll usually head straight into hair and makeup, where I edit my scripts from my phone,’ Rae explains. Photo – Alisha Gore.

Flooded with so much adrenaline after being on air, Rae usually experiences a classic 4pm slump. She usualy has a piece of fruit and a cup of tea to keep her going. Photo supplied courtesy of SBS.

Rae officially finishes at 6pm, but sometimes she slots in radio or TV appearances in the evening. Photo supplied courtesy of SBS.

Right now I’m listening to, watching, and reading…

I can never listen to, watch or read just one thing at a time.

So right now I’m listening to a few podcasts: Curtain by Amy McQuire and Martin Hodgson, the Wall Street Journal Tech Briefing and Shameless are my current regulars.

While in isolation I’ve been re-watching Parks and Recreation – I needed something comforting. I’ve also been watching Doom Patrol, an incredible comic series adaptation with Brendan Fraser.

I just finished reading Anna Weiner’s Uncanny Valley, a memoir of her experiences in the early days of Silicon Valley. I’m currently reading Growing Up Aboriginal In Australia, a collection of stories written by some of my NITV colleagues and edited by fellow Wiradjuri woman Anita Heiss. It really highlights the diversity of experience we have.

I get my best work done when…

I’m well-rested, well-fed, well-caffeinated and well-organised.

My productivity tool/tip is…

I’d be lost without my calendars. I have a year-to-a-view spreadsheet that I use to block out big event hosting days, and I use the weekly view on my digital calendar to schedule my workdays in 30-minute increments. It sounds like a lot, but it works for me, and keeps me on track.

I’ve uninstalled Twitter and Facebook from my phone, and only access them on desktop during work hours. I also set limits on Instagram so I don’t waste time scrolling.

A philosophy I live and work by is…

It used to be “never hope harder than you work”, and then I experienced burnout. Now it’s more along the lines of “do what you can, with what you have, where you are”. Everyone is “winging” it. Your best is always good enough.

Something I’ve learned the hard way is…

The importance of scheduling in down-time as well as work. I’m still learning where my limits are, and sometimes overextend myself, but I’m getting better.

Keep up with Rae’s fast-paced life on Instagram!

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dandersxon · 4 years

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Dealing with Isolation

Long but good read on how to mentally handle the COVID-19 situation.

From a psychologist:

MENTAL HEALTH WELLNESS TIPS FOR QUARANTINE

1. Stick to a routine. Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, write a schedule that is varied and includes time for work as well as self-care.

#covid19 #mentalhealth

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its8simplejulesblog · 4 years

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If I Could Quantify and Statistically Plot My Mental Health Over the Past Few Months

It would probably look a lot like this: (I made this quickly, but the proportions are all off it’s bugging my OCD SO much wow)

Which is saying a lot I think. That one person could be so volatile in such a short amount of time haha. Naturally, quarantine hasn’t helped, and each day is a new challenge, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is pretty much normal. We all go through it. So, I’ve experimented with a few things that make my day to day life just a litttttle bit better. Being stuck at home really limits the things you can do to combat depression, but in the end, it’s the little things that count right :) I recognize that the things I mention here may not be beneficial to everyone, but this is just what helps me to be a little bit happier, healthier, and motivated until this is all over.

This is kind of what a normal quarantine day looks like but all of these things apply in my normal life too, I just have a lot more going on on those days in between.

Frankly, having a set sleep schedule is a goal of mine, and I’ve set nighttime AND morning alarms, but I don’t think that one is going to happen for a little while now. Anyway,

1.) At the beginning of each day when I wake up I like to turn my phone on and use this daily affirmations app. It’s an app that makes you record yourself saying something good about yourself and honestly it’s weird because I hate hearing my recorder voice, but we’re giving it a shot. Also I make my bed. It’s something that inspires me to be productive and I’ve noticed that when I’m in a cleaner space I’m calmer. I think that making my bed, in a weird way, makes me more excited to sleep later too. While I’m doing that, because I listen to music ALWAYS, I like to listen to something that’s decently upbeat and positive. Don’t get me wrong, I like rap as much as the next person, but if I’m trying to start off the day well, then I don’t instantly want to be in the “fuck you” mentality. I’ll either listen to Surfaces “Good Day” or some classic rock like “Don’t Bring Me Down” by ELO (does that count as classic rock?? idk) or “Sunflower” by Rex Orange County. Anyway, a huge thing to make me feel better in any situation, especially the mornings, is to just dance around my room and be stupid.

2.) After that, food is always on my mind. I mentioned earlier that I like using Lifesum. This is an app that tracks your calories and nutrients and such. When I tell you that I used to eat whatever I wanted, I really ate WHATEVER I wanted and ended up feeling like garbage mid-way through the day. I can confidently say that tracking my food has made me feel so much better. I eat a lot of fiber bars and bananas for breakfast. The fiber bars taste like a chocolate bar but they’re good for you! Sounds fake. With that being said, the things you eat greatly affect your mood. Just doing simple things to take care of your body will make you feel invincible though. It has made me a lot more confident in myself.

3.) Along with number 2, I drink a lot of lemon water. Probably about 6 cups a day, which isn’t nearly enough, but we’re getting there. I’m weird and I think that water tastes weird or not as good on its own, so my parents are now used to getting lemons for our water (so high maintenance). Everyone knows that drinking water more than anything else is good for you, but I like to add lemon because the vitamin C is good for fighting viruses, the antioxidants make your skin glow, and it’s a good cleanse for your body. Also, I really like sour things so I just eat the lemon after I take it out of the water (again, freak)

4.) I like to split my quarantine days into sections. When I wake up, for a few hours, the first thing I do is some homework and research. I always have homework that I can go ahead on, so I prioritize things that have to be turned in and do that first, then I do more static items like studying for exams coming up or going ahead in future readings. I also do research with CRESP and the project we are working on is a group effort, but we can do individual work on our own time so I’ll do this now too. Around this time also, I like to watch some sort of educational video on something that I’m interested in. I’ve built Chinese into my everyday routine, because I’m tutored in it now so I’m a little bit more motivated to keep up with it, but I also really like crash course sociology or financial videos on youtube (cause I’m a scrooge)..really anything that is a real life/ technical skill that I wouldn’t have really spent time on if I weren’t stuck in quarantine.

*Along with this step, I always make a little office in my kitchen. I’m a big planner girl so I can see everything written out in front of me and cross it off and I have an obnoxious blue file folder that I keep all my school papers in. I encourage you to not work in your room because if you’re anything like me, you’ll fall asleep* Look like this

I also eat lunch somewhere in there

5.) After I do something to exercise my brain, I like to exercise my body. Working out has always been one of my favorite coping mechanisms. I’ve always felt so good after working out. It was harder to find time to do it at school because of how busy I was, but now I have zipadee doo dah of an excuse not to, so here we are. Personally, I love love LOVE nature and being outside. I love going on walks and listening to music and...looking at trees idk. For me though, my exercise of choice is cardio/running and I prefer not to run outside. Because of that, I’ll only take walks outside and do my actual workout in the house. I usually run/walk uphill on the treadmill and then I’l do crunches and leg lifts and planks and yoga. I switch it up a little bit each time though.

Some of my favorite songs for working out: “Fake ID” by Riton, Kah-Lo, “Physical” by Dua Lipa, “Fool” by Fitz and the Tantrums, and “Life Itself” by Glass Animals (there are a lot more though)

Dinner time, yeehaw

6.) After this, I can do something fun. Usually I’ll spend time with my family or watching a movie or youtube videos or reading a book or singing or dancing or playing video games or on social media or talking to friends or playing my flute or photography or learning the ukulele or jamming my thoughts into this blog. I also continuously joked that I was going to learn knitting while I was at school so maybe I’ll try that.

I realize that it’s a lot of people’s preference to just do #6 all day, but personally I’m stressed out more when I don’t do anything productive, so that’s why doing a mixture of things works better for me.

Here are a few other random tips

- I like to wipe my phone and computer down frequently because of corona, but also because it’s another thing that calms me down (apparently I’m very wound up)

-Don’t force conversations with people. I understand that we’re all trapped in quarantine and “If they aren’t talking to me NOW, then they must really hate me.” Relax, just focus on something else. The worst feeling is when you know that someone isn’t interested in what you’re saying. Do I still send streaks? Of course, but in terms of actual conversations, I’m only invested in the ones that are invested in me. It’s made me a lot happier.

- Go outside when the weather is nice! Seasonal depression is such a real thing. Whenever it’s even remotely nice I like to take all of my work or the book I’m reading outside instead.

In the end, take this time to focus on yourself. We better all come out of this looking fine as hell and being confident and smarter than ever before. We have all the time in the world now to become the best versions of ourselves. Love you guys

-Julia

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advancedscurvy · 7 years

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weird college and dorm living tips from your local sophomore

so here’s a list of things I wish I had known going into college last year that I think incoming students should know, in no particular order of importance.

-keep a trash can in your bedroom, because there will be a night when you just want to sit in your dorm and cry over your exam tomorrow while you eat a granola bar, and don’t feel like going out to your common area to throw away your wrapper. that’s weirdly specific but it happens to us all eventually. if you’re a girl, also, keep a trash can in your bathroom. I know that sounds like common sense but it’s not something everyone remembers off the top of their heads. also, take out your whole dorm’s trash regularly or else you will start to smell it. there’s nothing like rotting styrofoam to say “home sweet home.”

-know what time you’re most productive. I peak from 7 pm to 11 pm, give or take, so I always plan myself some study time in there. it is not the same for everyone, and don’t force yourself to change it just to make yourself a “morning person” or something. this is just how your brain goes right now. work with it!

-keep oranges or some other fruit or vegetable in your fridge to munch on. it is much more wholesome than most other snacks. and, they’re all natural and good for you!

-most university meal plans will come with money to spend on food around the campus like at the coffee shop or mini mart. it is very handy. but use it wisely and ration it out so you always have enough. my second semester I blew like, $200 of my campus dollars on the chick fil a, so when exams rolled around and I needed coffee, it was not there for me. don’t make my mistakes.

-a lot of studyblrs will post flawless notetaking methods and stuff, but honestly, just do what works for you. I keep everything in one big notebook, and just put tabs in, because that works for me. you don’t have to be perfect.

-you WILL fail a class. it happens. there’s no shame, it happens to everyone. just learn from it.

-you do not get bonus points for perfect attendance, but don’t skip class all the time. If you need to take a day off, don’t be afraid to, but don’t make a habit of it. also, know your class attendance policies!

-most libraries have at least one quiet floor. use it! conversely, don’t be the jerk who brings down a super loud bag of crunchy chips to the quiet floor and watches soccer with no headphones in.

-you will have a lot of different friends with a lot of different interests and you are not obligated to appease them all. just float with your own beliefs and you’ll be alright.

-people will tell you to get involved in school spirit or sports enthusiasm: you do not have to do that. I get people who think it just adds to the experience, but if you don’t like crowds or big events, don’t make yourself do it.

-get involved in your local area community, not just your university community. I love the town my uni is in, and the community events are often much more friendly and safe than the campus-oriented events like house shows or parties. also, you meet some cool people and job opportunities that way.

-stick with your hobbies. there’s nothing more soothing than still having something to come back to when you’re done with your work for the day, even if it’s just something like knitting or playing a computer game.

-you will be broken up with at least once, and it’ll hurt terribly. but pick yourself up, and keep going. if you’re still not doing well in a few months, there’s no shame in going to therapy or talking to people about it. be safe and secure in yourself first.

-please for the love of god wash your sheets. not only will it feel nice to tuck into fresh, crunchy clean sheets at night, but also, sheets can be a gross sweat trap, and washing your pillowcase keeps your skin clean!

-on that note, get yourself into a nice skincare routine. for me, it’s my nice, nighttime cool down and morning wake up, so I find real peace in having a long, pampering skincare routine, but find what works for you. I’m gonna use this as a plug to remind you: wear sunscreen on your face, every day you’re outside for more than a few minutes. sun damage can make acne scarring worse, age your skin, and maybe even cause skin cancer later in life. I don’t care what you do for the rest of your skincare routine, but please, wear sunscreen.

-get a fan for your room, the white noise and circulation will help loads.

-cooking in your dorm sounds hard, but there’s a ton of things that can be made in a mini slow cooker or a waffle iron, and if you don’t like cafeteria food or miss cooking, then it can really be a comfort to cook your own food.

-try things out of your comfort zone. if you’ve never gone to an all-vegan diner before and someone asks you to, then go. if you’ve never gone to a concert before, then carpe diem. college is all about discovering who you are and hwo you’re going to be, not just grades.

-on that note, lots of professors put their grades online, and a lot more don’t. keep track of that, and write down all your online assignments, or else you WILL forget.

-keep throw blankets around your room. they will be your best friend.

-if you’re in a small major program (like geography, lol), you will know at least half the people in every non-core class. use this to your advantage and make some friends. if you’re like me, you are very introverted and do not like being approached. however, it’s still handy to at least have a few people’s numbers.

#mine #advice #reference #studyblr #college #university

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spikycharlotte · 7 years

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:0 all of them

y’all better strap in

four jews in a room bitching / what’s your favorite stereotype for your religion?

haha i don’t really identify with one in particular? so i’m not sure.

a tight-knit family / who do you consider family?

i for sure believe “blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” while i do have family members whom i do love and am proud to call family, i don’t think the question is calling for that.

my best friends are like family to me, and i’d do anything for them. i also have a mentor/teacher, and he and his wife are like second parents to me.

love is blind / what makes a healthy relationship?

C O M M U N I C A T I O N ! ! ! you should NEVER be lying to your s/o!! and if your s/o does something you’re not comfortable with/makes you upset, TELL THEM! you shouldn’t be stewing, but also don’t enter the conversation angry and accusatory. and on the flip side, if your s/o comes to you with something you did, LISTEN TO THEM. apologize and explain yourself, even if it was just a misunderstanding! avoid becoming defensive.

the thrill of first love / what’s something you’d kill for?

answered here!

marvin at the psychiatrist / do you ever feel like no one is listening to you when you talk?

i used to feel this way all the time, but i’ve recently become comfortable with saying, “excuse me, i was speaking” when i’m spoken over. also i find myself in lots of leadership positions in my day-to-day, so i’m pretty good at making myself heard.

my father’s a homo / could you/would you want to be president?

the idea (a loud, genderqueer, butch lesbian with the conscience to do the best for others) sounds great, but i’m not the person that fits that description to be president. i’m infj, so i’ve got the teacher personality, and that’s what i want to do!

everyone tells jason to see a psychiatrist / do people nag you consistently about something? if so, what?

this is such a #relatableteen answer but my room is a goddamn mess and my mom nags me on the daily to clean it (something i never do)

this had better come to a stop / what’s something people do that infuriates you?

i talked about this a little bit, but when people come to me with relationship issues and the issue could resolved so easily if instead of coming to me and telling me, they just went to their s/o. a problem cannot be resolved through outside sources.

i’m breaking down / what makes you crazy/pushes you over the edge?

answered here!

please come to our house / what was the last thing you did to help someone?

ummm to fit with the “therapy” theme of this the other night i helped a friend when she needed to vent about some crappy home things.

jason’s therapy / what’s the worst advice you’ve ever been given?

i resent this question being with this song!!! i think mendel’s “feel alright” advice (while flawed) at its core is actually kind of pure and good! of course the way he gives it is bad (ignore your problems!)

but worst advice i’ve ever been given was i asked a friend towards the beginning of my last relationship if i should continue it and she said i should, and it ended much later and i was very unhappy throughout most of it. so that was pretty shitty. (i now have a very wonderful girlfriend who is currently having me answer all of these questions :-))

a marriage proposal / how would you want to be proposed to?

actually something very similar to how mendel does it! something private and lowkey, and just having someone word vomit their love for me sounds very cute and endearing.

however i always thought of myself as the one who would propose, so there’s that

a tight-knit family (reprise) / are you satisfied with what you have in life, or do you want more?

well as a student in high school it’s kind of hard to be satisfied, because there’s so much i want to do but i can’t as my student-ness prevents me from doing so.

but considering my place in life, i think i am quite happy!! i have a great gf, great friends, and i’m kind of excited for this school year!

trina’s song / what’s the worst interaction you’ve had with the opposite gender?

every interaction i’ve ever had with a male human being ever in my life. i could go on and on. but one that comes to mind is how one time a dude went on this huge rant during a teacher’s lecture about freud’s psychosexual theories about how homosexuality is an unnatural choice, all while continuing to glance at me to make sure he got his desired reaction

march of the falsettos / who’s the most immature person you know, and why?

um i know plenty, but the worst are some of my younger very intelligent female friends who are more focused on their boyfriends than their academics, which while i love and support them infuriate me to no end.

trina’s song (reprise) / have you ever settled for something better than you’d expected, but not as good as you’d hoped?

while this worked out for trina, as she soon would realize that mendel would be as good as she hoped, settling for less than you hope is never a good thing.

i’ve always thought this, so i can’t really think of any examples

the chess game / what’s the most petty thing you’ve ever done?

perfect question for this song, op.

i’ve done a lot of petty things in my life, bc i think everyone does. very recently though a girl was annoying the hell out of me trying to get me to tell her the answers for our summer hw and i gave her the entirely wrong answers.

making a home / how different are you in public than in private?

my personality is very much the same, but i’m obviously more in public. i don’t swear as much. and in private i talk to myself and sing loudly all the time which doesn’t make much sense to do in public

the games i play / do you ever wish you were doing more than you currently are?

constantly. i’m in high school so my options are grossly limited. i’m super excited to go to college and begin my teaching career. i just really want to help people!!

marvin hits trina / have you ever hated someone for being happy?

before i was in a better place like i am now, i really resented my best friend for getting a boyfriend for a while. but now i’m fine and very happy for the both of them.

i never wanted to love you / have you ever liked something you knew was bad? have you stopped?

um in middle school i liked sup/erwhol/ock despite the problematicness of them all (the other two more so than d/octor w/ho), if that’s what this means.

father to son / what is your relationship with your parents?

i love my mom a lot, she’s great. she had me in high school, and my bio dad split when he found out i existed, so i’ve never met him, but i also have no interest in doing so. i love my (step) dad a lot, but our relationship is kind of strained bc i don’t think he fully understands my being gay (even though he’s not rude or anything about it)

falsettoland/about time / do you use labels?

i actually quite like labels ? i like legitimizing my identity by finding out that other people feel the same way, and therefore have worked to put a name to it.

that’s also why i kind of like the femme/butch scale even though it was initially a joke, bc it acknowledges that not every lesbian is lipstick OR stone butch, and idk i kinda like it. but i do hate when nonlesbians ,,,,,, use it ,,,,,,, to describe lesbians,,,,, bc,,, it’s not for them…..

year of the child / when was the last time everything was about you?

idk prob my birthday parties… i don’t like being the perfect center of attention, i feel uncomfortable

miracle of judaism / what’s the last significant decision you had to make?

oh geez idk. i don’t make a lot of those… i can’t think of one right now.

the baseball game / do you play/like sports? which ones?

i do not like them really… i like badminton tho… that’s more of an activity and not a sport though

a day in falsettoland / what’s your daily routine like?

during the summer, i wake up and fart around on the internet, unless i have somewhere to be. all the while texting maggie all day

everyone hates his parents / what was the last thing your parents did that pissed you off?

my mom is a really bad backseat driver. like swearing and anger is her brand of backseat driving. so it makes me super anxious and angry hearing someone constantly bitch while i’m trying to drive

what more can i say? / are you in love? have you ever been in love? what is it like?

answered here!

something bad is happening / do you get frustrated when you don’t know something?

yes i do. its a problem, especially as i’m on academic team

more racquetball / are you a sore loser/winner?

yes yes yes. mariokart comes to mind in particular. if i lose it was lagging or too many items were unfairly sent my way, or if i win everyone else sucks and i’m the best

holding to the ground / how do you react when things don’t go as planned?

i’m not the best. i’m a huge control freak, so when things don’t work out perfectly i freak out

days like this / are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?

i think i’m like an.. optimistic realist? like i’m a realist, but with that i’m more likely to say “the worst case scenario is this, so at least that’s not happening”

canceling the bar mitzvah / how do you react under pressure?

i get stressed, but i also get my work done, so good and bad

unlikely lovers / do you have any friends who are extremely different from you?

yeah, a lot actually! i have one friend who listens to hard core rock stuff and has a bunch of piercings and has never listened to a musical in her life and i also have friends super into gymnastics and cheerleading and stuff. i love my friends!!

another miracle of judaism / if you could have anything right now, what would it be?

maggie, next to me

something bad is happening (reprise) / have you ever had to deliver some really bad news? how did it go?

i had to explain to someone the oak/great comet drama, which was not fun. but i don’t think i’ve ever had to break super terrible bad news, especially not like what charlotte had to tell her best friend

you gotta die sometime / are you afraid of dying/death?

i don’t know…? the idea of nothingness is for sure daunting

jason’s bar mitzvah / what was the last big event you attended?

the other day i went to the first practice of the year for academic team! theres a lot of us and we had pizza and played and whatnot

falsettoland (reprise) / what do you want your legacy to be?

i just want people to remember me as someone who did their best to help others

#this took #literally forever #but it was super fun #me #asks #i love u maggie :0 #spikycordelia #long post

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