#idk man my dad is awesome | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brainrotdotorg · 4 months

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imagine a dashboard for alligators. what do you think that would look like

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🍏gatoridae Follow

Controversial opinion. If you're doing nothing but eating meat, what are you even doing. Remember to include bugs, fruits, and legumes into your diet in order to help aid digestion of the meat that you get from snakes, fish, and mammals.

Just because we have the reputation for eating lots of meat, that doesn't mean we have to stick to it.

🥒biting-you-biting-you Follow

counterpoint: fuit yucky

🪵blog-from-a-bog Follow

wdym reputation of eating meat. i float lik ea log thats what im known for

4,904 notes

🌿swamp-ass Follow

asked dad if i could go and steal some Floridian guy's lunch and he said "we have prey at home" girl we have been doing shit ALL DAY i am an awesome 600 pounds and I need some meat left on me to deathroll with. let me get a quick snack that i don't need to kill mmmmmmm burgers I want people food soooooo badddd....... i know they shouldn't feed it to me but I have such a lovely smile oh please oh please give me your burger.........

182 notes

🥗aliali-seeyoulater Follow

mom says it was cold the season she laid me so i have to be a girl. because girls are always born from eggs laid during cold seasons.

cope and seethe mother first of all, second of all, the reason i am transgender is because you kept me too fucking snuggly warm in the nest.

#i guess if you wanted a daughter you should have. idk. made a shittier nest? #thats not really my fault man

81,337 notes

⛰fuckyeahhugesnout Follow

You'll never guess how I just learned that we have the honor of being the "loudest reptiles in the world"

🫑teethem Follow

Yeah yeah, the 90 decibel mating bellow, we've all heard it.

🤢ch0mper Follow

we've all heard the what

135,633 notes

🩲gaytorrr Follow

this guy asked if i wanted to see his gator hole and i said fuck yes. why this boy take me into a 65 foot long hole in the mud at the bottom of the lake

6,421 notes

🏞daily-clawsitivity

✨Remember to take it easy sometimes!✨We thrive in slow-moving waters!✨Even though we can run fast, we get tired fast too-- it's okay to let yourself take breaks!✨Let yourself relax, that's how we made it this far as a species.

mud-rocks-deactivated20140706

Yeah, imagine telling your prehistoric great great great great great great great great great great grandpa or something to calm down and relax when he should be doing nothing but deathrolls. the longevity of the species should be your only goal. It's irresponsible to encourage your fucking species to fall behind even more than it already has? Have some pride, you're not a crocodile.

scalesssss-deactivated20150310

jesus christ calm down

alidile-crocogator-deactvated20140709

Okay, this post has a lot of misconceptions in it. There aren't as many differences between crocodiles and alligators than you think. It's really harmful to think that we have nothing in common with each other. So what if they're carnivores and we're closer to omnivores, or their snouts are more U shaped while ours are V shaped. We're both badass miracles of nature that have no reason to be pit against one another all the time.

Don't listen to guys like this. It's just hateful and small-minded.

stop-jawlock-androll-deactivated20140911

crocs are like. like them shoes that float right

wetlandia898 Follow

i wish i was a crocodile because i could have a virgin birth and i wanted to see what it would be like to eat an immaculate conception.

bigchallengesrealblog-deactivated20190412

welcome to the no notes gator/croc discourse post.

🦖l8rg8tr-z Follow

omg this is the post.... i can't believe i would see this naturally on my dash

🎍taildraggers Follow

Uh are we just going to ignore the virgin birth reply orrrrrrrrr

🐊gator-heritage-posts

gator heritage post

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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Follow

hgwiow h

hsfhjs

howw ws i nbevyrboy tyopingssaog oo vd wi hhrth rh thrre cl alawas ?>>

🌴a-l-g-t-r Follow

lmao this idiot never learned how to use their tail to type

#/j lol yeah its kind of hard at first #actually i'd say cut your losses and forget how to type bring the laptop back to the dumpster its not worth it

39 notes

🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow

am i fucking stupid. i just learned theres another species of alligator other than just me and the guys in my swamp. and i said "oh wow I didn't know that! which one of the two are we haha" and my buddy just stared at me like I was a fucking idiot. how am i supposed to know if no one ever tells me this . WHICH AM I

🍖meet-eat3r Follow

there are only 70-80 mature chinese gators in existence while there are 750,00-1 million mature american gators . do the math.

🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow

i could have just hatched you don't know me.

20,570 notes

🍀gatortears Follow

a group of queer gators in church call that a congregaytion

#reblogging this one bc none of you appreciate me

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👞makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow

I'm seeing the no notes gator/croc post circulate again and ha ha yes it's very funny, but we are NOT starting gator/croc discourse in 2024. lets leave that shit in the past. i know that's not what the post really ended up being about but i am soooooo sick of it.

🌾clawstothewalls Follow

okay, so the one with a fetish for getting turned into handbags is gonna talk down to us now.

👞 makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow

Not to be a pedant but its Shoes Actually. It even says so in the name. Shoes.

2,663 notes

#this post was all an excuse to tell you alligator fun facts #i fucking got you dude. i got you

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syxnewt · 1 year

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a fucking mosquito: you have to.... you have to let me lay my eggs in your blood..... so we can be together forever..........

merle, a fucking janitor that has been in a relationship with aforementioned mosquito for a month: I BEG YOUR PARDON?

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pierregazly · 7 months

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1+ 2 = ...4? ꨄ pierre gasly smau

pierre gasly x wife!russell!reader

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of twins, george having a meltdown

in which pierre put his tripod to use and caused two major outcomes, george has a meltdown, and all the fans just want to know what's going on?

ynrussell

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, and 23,407 others

tagged pierregasly

ynrussell joyeux anniversaire mon amour. three years ago today i married the love of my life and became the official mrs. gasly, so excited to give you your present tonight 🫶🏻

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username omg babes post the present!!! let us all be jealous

username happy anniversary mom and dad

charles_leclerc 🥳💗

username feel like it was just yesterday that i was jealous out of my mind about their wedding... still jealous tho

pierregasly joyeux anniversaire ma chère, i am the luckiest man in the world

pierregasly can't wait to give your your own present tonight

pierregasly it rhymes with tierod

username TRIPOD PIERRE

username im SCREAMING send this man right to PRISON

georgerussell63 god every time i see anything to do with you two i have to bleach my bloody eyes. happy anniversary you two, im disgusted.

username poor george, him and carmen are so tame compared to these two... i love the polar opposite sibling trope

ynrussell has posted a story

liked by pierregasly, georgerussell63, and others

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pierregasly i hope the pizza was good ma chérie, and hope it satisfied the little bean's cravings

ynrussell it was delicious... but we kind of want chocolate now too :(

pierregasly ill check ubereats and see what i can do

ynrussell mine and the bean's saviour 🫶🏻

pierregasly

liked by ynrussell, charles_leclerc, alpinef1team, and 209,444 others

tagged alpinef1team

pierregasly unfortunately not the finish we would have liked, the 15 second penalty cost us significantly and i apologize to my team and all our fans for it. will come back bigger and better next time 💪 now time to go and spend some well deserved time off with my family

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username thank you for pushing through and giving us an awesome race to watch pierre!

username loved your helmet this weekend pierre!

username sad that mother ynrussell wasn't here this weekend, but happy to see her in the likes

username 'well deserved time off with my family' do we think that's alluding to something else????

username girl he's obviously talking about his wife and his family??? like what

username ummm sorry he almost always says 'my loved ones' gotta push the pregnancy rumour agenda some more

ynrussell we're all so proud of you pear 🫶🏻 the track limits and penalties are bullshit and i'll be sending a strongly worded letter to whoever costs you anything good

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, and others

pierregasly 😂😭🤍

username who is 'we're all' who is the plural that she's referring to omg

username i'm telling y'all... mother is becoming a real mother idc what any of y'all say

pierregasly has posted a story

liked by ynrussell, georgerussell63, and others

ynrussell omf make sure you get extra cheesecake... and extra elcairs, and a few brownies... maybe get a few of everything??? the bean's want them!!!!

pierregasly well if the bean's want them....

username this SCREAMS my wife is pregnant and sent me on a late night snack run omf

username tell us your secret!!!!

ynrussell

liked by pierregasly, georgerussell63, carmenmmundt, and 46,578 others

tagged pierregasly

ynrussell sorry just have to appreciate how incredibly sexy it is seeing my super sexy amazing husband with kids!!! like how lucky am i!!! can't wait til' you're holding our future babies (my ovaries are exploding, i am crying, it's going to be a long day)

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username girl this seems a little feral idk

georgerussell63 this is certifiably disgusting. please grow up.

username you know who would post something like this??? a wife expecting a baby who is getting more excited about that baby seeing her husband with kids

username seems legit idk

pierregasly is this your nice way of asking me to pickup more eclairs on the way home?

ynrussell cinnamon buns too?? please?? je t'aime

pierregasly can't wait to hold our future bean's too ma chérie

username pierre as a dad is going to be so sexy, ynrussell is so right??? those babies are going to be beautiful omf

ynrussell and pierregasly

liked by charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt, georgerussell63, and 566,493 others

pierregasly october 2024 / gasly thing 1 and gasly thing 2 🐣🚼

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ynrussell omg i'm pregnant???? SURPRISE

ynrussell maman is begging for them to come sooner, her poor back.

username AH I KNEW IT. I CALLED IT. MY HEART.

username THING 1 AND THING 2 AHHHHH

username pierre is gonna be a girl dad AND a boy dad?????? we're so blessed

georgerussell63 excuse me????

georgerussell63 you knocked my sister up????

georgerussell63 i told you to stay away from her??? this is outrageous i am disgusted

pierregasly sorry, tripod's work well.

ynrussell pierre delete this comment rn, i swear to god.

georgerussell63 (i am so excited to meet my baby niece and baby nephew. uncle georgie loves you both so much)

lewishamilton congratulations! roscoe is so excited 🤍

charles_leclerc uncle cha reporting for duty 🫡 congratulations, you two.

georgerussell63 i'd like to emphasize i'm still having a meltdown from when you casually gave me a bottle of gin to announce this. gasly genes should not be casually mixed like this.

username i dont think anyone understands the joy im feeling??? im honoured to be alive to see this

username they're gonna be such amazing parents im literally ????? so excited??????

carmenmmundt has posted a story

liked by ynrussell, pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux, and others

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ynrussell thank you for the beautiful baby shower, auntie carmen already has spot number 1 🫶🏻

username omg omg omg omg

username this is SO CUTE

ynrussell has posted a story

liked by pierregasly, carmenmmundt, georgerussell63, and others

replies

username girl u look like ur about to pop (lovingly)

pierregasly my beautiful wife

ynrussell i don't feel very beautiful right now. i feel huge and tired and exhausted.

pierregasly still the most beautiful woman in the world

ynrussell

liked by pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux, georgerussell63, and 56,439 others

ynrussell things are getting very, very real (not real enough for my back to not hurt, thing 1 and 2 you both are killing me)

view all 165 comments

username this aesthetic is so CUTE (that room is fucking beautiful i want a house tour????)

username they're literally due in like less than 2 months???? pierre is gonna be a dad that soon???? praying for u ynrussell

charles_leclerc im personally demanding compensation for the bruises i have from putting the nursery together

ynrussell shut up cha, you literally offered and begged to be involved

pierregasly yeah shut up cha

alexandrasaintmleux can't wait to see my art piece up in the bébé's room 🫶🏻

ynrussell knew i could always count on you angel

username im so invested in this pregnancy none of you even understand

username starting a poll asap on the babies names omf

ynrussell and pierregasly

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, roscoelovescoco, and 675,487 others

ynrussell 2024.10.16 / welcome to the world my precious théodore and éloïse. maman and papa love you so much.

view all 5,640 comments

username omg congratulations!!! such beautiful names.

username they share a birthday with charles im crying

lewishamilton congratulations! so beautiful, you are a rockstar ynrussell

charles_leclerc truly the best birthday present i could've asked for. ellie and théo should be so proud of their maman.

pierregasly the happiest day of my life, given to me by the most important woman in my life. thank you for blessing me.

username again i am so invested in this. i am so happy for these two, they're going to be incredible parents.

alpinef1team welcome to the family baby éloïse and baby théodore!

mercedesamg welcome to the family x2

username oh girl the racing teams are gonna FIGHT over these two just you wait

and there she is! after weeks of gasly!twin asks, i finally decided it was time to bring them to life in the realest way i could. i hope you all loved this as much as i loved writing it. thank you to everyone for all the incredible inspiration, and for continuing my obsession.

taglist

@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @princessria127 @iloveyou3000morgan @love4lando @asfaraslifegets @decseptapril @somanyfandomsbruh @fangirl125reader @imagandom @motorsp0rt @jspitwall @glitterf1 @christianpulisic10 @carlandonorri-s @smoothopz @eugene-emt-roe @epitios @myloverjk-blog @glow-ish @goldenmclaren @mercunty @success78 @nicolereinara

if you're missing from the taglist, pls dont hesitate to send me a message!!

#pierre gasly #pierre gasly x reader #f1 x reader #pierre gasly smau #f1 smau #f1 #f1 x you #pierre gasly x you #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 smau #smau #my writing #f1 imagine #pierre gasly imagine

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jellyluvr · 10 months

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Desperate

- Warren lipka x virgin!fem!reader ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

I'm very aware of the basic title, but I couldn't think of anything else. Unless you want "very awesome title" then you'll have to deal with this. Also sorry if this might be bad it's kinda choppy idk

Warnings: smoking weed, lots of friends, public sex?? I don't know lol 🤧 car sex, and loss of virginity (obvi)

Summary: warren basically leads you into the woods and you go with him, him making the first move. (Then u go to the car)

(Divinelyruled's gif)

Warren swerved while driving, spencer and Chas laughing in the backseat. They were all pretty annoying, but it was their usual bullshit. Warren was wearing his stupid tropical button-up and his typical pants. You only hung out with all of them for Warren. Maybe for a little of spencer, but everyone else were absolute dipshits.

Once the car recovered from Warren's horrible driving, he spoke. Loud and proud.

"You guys wanna smoke?" Warren said, looking at you, a huge grin on his face. He was acting like a child. You really didn't know what to say, but there was no protest. Chas and spencer spoke up, both agreeing.

So, Warren pulled over in a rather sketchy parking lot before reaching in the backseat, grabbing some old textbook he had.

"Uhh, reach in the glove box, would ya, sweetie?"

You loved hated when he called you that. But, you still reached in the glove box. There were flavored wraps in there, a few boxes, actually. Bubblegum, pineapple, blueberry, and cotton candy. They were all for joints, them being 'juicy Jay's'

"Yea.. yeah.. that's the one. Here.." he took the blueberry one before setting everything on the armrest. What the hell was he doing?

"Where's the weed, man?" Warren said, pushing back his seat to lean on spencer. Chas just fumbled around for a moment before passing warren a bag, letting out a soft hm as a thank you.

"Warren what the fuck are you doing?" You didn't know what he was doing. You were really confused.. you had thought you'd just smoke cigarettes but joints? How did he even know how to make those..?

"Makin' you a treat, sweetheart. You'll loooovveee it..." he chuckled a little, his eyes shifting to you for a second. Then, he moved the textbook back on his lap, the bag of weed setting on it.

You were seriously scared. Your parents were strict assholes and this was really scary. You didn't even know how you managed to get out tonight. Your dad was like a hawk. A really fat and mean hawk.

"Warren, I can't smoke weed. My dad will know.." you spoke in a low tone, too focused on Warren's hands making the joint. You studied what he did. He got a little rectangle paper, folding it up and making a circle shape. You didn't know what that was, but you continued to watch. He carefully put the weed on the thin paper, spreading it out evenly while he tapped it slightly. Next, he put the small rectangular thing towards him on the paper, then rolling it up. Chas and spencer shouted and giggled in the back, but you paid no attention to them.

You were too fascinated with what he was doing to care. Then, the joint was done and he handed it to you, you holding it and just looking over to him with a face that read 'wtf dude?'. He laughed at you, grabbing a lighter. "It's like a cigarette. Kind of.. just put it in your mouth please." He smiled warmly, giggling a little. It made you suspect he was fucking with you, but you put the filter part in your mouth, letting him light it.

You took a puff in, immediately pulling the joint out of your mouth as you coughed. Chas and spencer laughed even more, the two of them drinking and up to their own stupid shit..

Warren held back his laughing, taking the joint from you and taking a puff expertly, a smile on his face. He admired how innocent and pure you were. And how cute.. but he'd never admit that. He started to drive again, moving his seat back up as he drove out to where smoke came out of the woods. You assumed this was a bomb fire, so you just sighed.

That sigh would've been nice if it wasn't for the horrible smell in the car. You coughed some more, Warren finally rolling down his window for the smoke to escape desperately. You turned the other way, burying your head in your arms as you closed your eyes, the comfort of your jacket over you. You hated this. You just wanted to spend time with Warren.. watch a movie maybe. But not go out and party.

It was too late to turn back when you smelt the actual familiar smoke.. and heard the screams and yells of teenagers downing beer. You dreaded this.. why couldn't you and Warren go make out or something? Whyd this have to be in motion???

Warren got out, spencer and Chas following as the laughed seeing other friends from college. I guess some weren't teens.. more of unmature adults. You groaned, getting out of the car as well in your little skirt and top. It had originally been for warren.. to impress him in some way but you weren't even sure if he liked it. Of course you hoped so.. but he was an unpredictable guy. An asshole really.

You began to walk to warren and his friends, them all fucking around and freaking out. You didn't know a few people, but they eventually led you all to the bomb fire. Clinks of beer were heard every few seconds, crackles from the fire too. You didn't understand why they even had a fire. It was like 90.. mosquitoes were sucking off of you like vampire's every 5 seconds. The fire really provided no protection to the bugs, but it did look kind of cool.

Warren talked with everyone, them sharing cigarettes and other things. Showing stuff on their small little phones and laughing.. talking about 'bitches'. But now that you thought about it you were just about the only woman there. There was 3 or 4 others, but most of the people were guys. Disgusting men.. they all looked the same. Same hair, same nose.. same outfit.. you were positive men felt the same way about you, but you didn't care.

The only man that meant anything to you was warren. Your beloved warren. You daydreamed about him while you stared.. taking in his brown eyes and cute dimples. The single mole on his nose.. the perfect shape of it. His wonderful hands.. you wondered if his dick looked the same. Veiny and girthy.. maybe you would draw it later that night. Definitely..

A sigh left your mouth as you started to walk back to the car, hoping warren would come over and encourage you to talk to others just like in the movies.. but he didn't. He didn't even acknowledge you walking over there, so you went in with no air conditioning while you looked around. There was nothing much.. just weed scraps and other various items related to weed. At least you thought.

You looked around the car still, checking the glove box in hopes for something cool but it was just a pocket knife and.. panties?! Why did warren have panties?? Why did they have hello kitty on them.. what the hell?! He didn't have a girlfriend did he? Thoughts flooded your head as you stared at the thing infront of you, your hand not daring to touch them.

What if he had a girlfriend?? Oh god.. that was horrible. You couldn't be some homewrecker. Or a slut.. or just a bitch. It was girl code. But, you were really thinking about if he had fucked another girl. Why did he have the right to do that? He should've been fucking you instead. Using you as he pleased, but he wasn't. He was talking with his stupid "bros".

"Fuck!" You screamed, your hands going to claw at your face. You were so frustrated. Why would he have panties out of all things? Maybe lipgloss would've been better or even a nail, but panties!? Who leaves their panties in their boyfriends car??

Friends with benefits maybe? But still who would do that? He didn't get any girls.. he was considered ugly by everyone else. To you, he was the most beautiful being on this earth. The most hottest—

"What are you doing, man?" Warren knocked on the car window, looking down at you as he saw you going through his glove box. He was obviously worried. That was kind of weird to do.. especially without his permission.

You jumped, your head turning up to warren as you opened your mouth to speak, nothing coming out. Warren opened the car door, it being an obvious gesture for you to get out. You did, and he seemed to know what you saw.

"It was a gift to hang up. Uhm.. Chas got me 'em." He said, leaning back into the car and closing the box before shutting the door, coming out and facing you. "You okay?" He asked, laughing lightly. You stood there, relieved and extremely excited. "Yeah.. I'm good." You smiled, feeling sparks go off in your body. He was single.. hopefully. At least they weren't some girl's panties. That would've been horrible.

Warren's friends realized he had disappeared, so they began to look for him obviously. It wasnt hard, you were just a little long away from them so they called him over, ultimately taking you with him. They laughed and had their fun, and sent Warren out to go do something. You hadn't been paying attention, all you cared about was his face really. And his personality of course.

Warren began to walk out into the dark of the woods, taking no specific path. You were obviously quite worried. Where was he planning on going anyway? No even seemed to care about him leaving.. so naturally you began to follow.

You tried to catch up pretty quickly, making sure to watch your step. That meant you had been looking down at your feet the whole time, so you never looked up to see where Warren was. When you did, he was gone. No where it seemed, and you looked behind you only to find you had ran into the woods... lost.

You cussed to yourself, looking all around you as you realized how dark and scary it was. Now you'd have to call out his name. Or anyone's.. or just scream.

Your breathing quickened as you tried to calm down, your body not helping anything. You turned to the path you were originally taking and ran down it instead. And finally.. you saw Warren's stupid tropical button up and his hair. It was sort of hard to miss, so you ran down, panting as you got behind warren. Warren turned around, jumping a little but now just confused.

"Y/n, what the fuck, man?" He asked, looking down at you with confusion. You stood up and straightened yourself, looking him directly in the eye. "I was uhm.." then, you felt that foul smell hit your nose just like in the car. He had a joint, it smoking up with a little red bud at the end. "I was worried about you." You repeated, smiling slightly. Warren just laughed lightly, sitting down on a huge rock while he smoked.

" 'kay." He nodded, and you just watched him. Warren looked up, the beauty of the midnight sky above. It was a wonderful color, stars littered over it perfectly thanks to being out so far away from the city. Warren looked over to you, laughing again. "Here, have some." He wiggled his eyebrows, pushing out the joint for you to have.

You didn't want to be lame, so you took it and actually took a puff this time. You coughed some, but not as much as before. The effects immediately hit you, and Warren realized this. He laughed some more too, you just laughing with him because his laugh was simply so funny.

You sat on the rock, very close to him as you two giggled. It wasn't controllable really.. it kind of just came out. And you closed your eyes, laughing as you smiled. Warren laughed too, his hand going to set on your thigh. You just kept laughing, until Warren said something.

"Y/n.. y/n, dude calm down." He chuckled lightly, but then he stopped. You stopped too, you two now just looking into each other. Warren didn't say anything more, and you didn't really want to either.

Then, his lips connected with yours with no warning at all. You kissed him back, closing your eyes and wrapping your arms around him as his hands rubbed your thighs. Warren slurped at your mouth almost, making you melt under him. You two were both high, and it just made everything better. The kiss was hot and desperate.. really for the both of you. Warren loved you.. he especially loved your body, but your everlasting love for him always seemed to catch his eye.

You moaned slightly into his lips, his hands going up onto your hips as lewd noises filled the area. Your eyes rolled back at Warren's strong grip on you, forcing you to stay seated. Warren pulled back, panting and cussing under his breath. He put a hand through his hair, giving you the opportunity to get on top of him.

You moved your body to be positioned on his lap, your thighs straddling his hips as you cupped his face, the sexual tension thick. You moved in to kiss him, and he kissed you back as you grinded into him. The slick between your thighs built up as your clit ached for any pleasure. You grinded a little faster, squeaking out a moan from warren as he continued to kiss you.

You two were combined in one, making out and really doing all you could. Warren stopped kissing you and frantically unbuttoned his pants while you unzipped them, not really sure what to do. You had fantasies.. sure.. but you had no idea how to fuck or suck dick. Warren leaned back against the rock, surely expecting you to do something.. but you didn't know what. You were so worked up, but how could you tell him you were a virgin?

"Uhm.." you choked out, looking at his boxers peeking through his flap. You were nervous. You were getting sweaty.. very.. you were afraid. Your head felt heavy and your eyes got foggy. This was so embarrassing. Warren looked up at you, clearly a bit confused. "You o-" you cut him off, "I'm a virgin, warren." You let it out even though it crushed you. You knew he wouldn't be okay with that.. that would just make it weird. Fuck.

"Oh." He leaned up, looking down at his bulge and sighing. He put his hands on your shoulders, looking you straight in the eyes. "Well.. uh.. am I good enough for your first time?" He laughed awkwardly, feeling like he had just led on a kid. It felt weird. He didn't think you were a virgin.. he thought you were a huge chick. Like, you definitely got dick every weekend.. but no. You didn't, which was really confusing.

But as for the question, you nodded. "Yes.. don't think I don't want to.. it's just.. I'm not ruining anything, am i?" You looked up at him, clearly nervous. He felt bad now. But, his boner wasn't going away and he knew that weed had fucked you up. "No. I'll give you a time to remember, sweetheart." He kissed your nose, his hands going to your waist as he swiftly moved ontop of you instead, moving you on the rock.

He began to kiss down your neck, making you squirm a bit. A breathy moan slipped from your lips, your wetness growing. You smelt Warren's hair, the scent filling your nostrils as you sighed, your heartbeat picking up. You had dreamed of this.. and it was actually happening.

A small gasp left your mouth as you felt Warren's hard on press against your thigh. He grinded into you, making you so much hotter than before. It felt you were in an oven.. like you were sun bathing. It was crazy.. and Warren's mouth moved up to your jaw, kissing and sucking before he moved his mouth over your ear. You felt shivers go throughout your body, more coming as his breath hit you right on your neck.

"You play with yourself?" He asked, his hair tickling your cheek. You didn't want to lie. You didn't touch yourself. You never had.. it scared you honestly, and Warren turned his head up, his hand going inside your skirt and creeping up your thighs excruciatingly.

"N-no." You said finally, Warren's fingertip grazing over your clothed slit. He wasn't going to hurt you.. he had to prepare you for him even if he was going to collapse from how hard he was. He didn't have a big ego, or dick really. But, one thing he did know was virgins bled. If they didn't have proper preparation.. or at least that's what some porn skit said. Either way, he was going to make sure it was more pleasurable then painful.

Your breath hitched as one hot finger went beside your panties, moving into your drenched pussy. He smiled feeling how wet you were, and his single finger lined your hole. "You like that?" He asked, knowing the answer. He chuckled lightly, inserting a finger inside your walls, causing you to squirm some. Jesus.. you definitely were a virgin. Your walls hugged him tight, and it even made his dick twitch a little.

He moved his finger inside you slowly, letting you get used to the feeling. You loved it though. Yours hips moved into his finger involuntarily as you moaned slightly, Warren's finger going slightly faster. But, this was one finger. Two would surely hurt.. his dick would hurt more. Maybe he should save it for another time.. maybe you two should've been more than just friends. Or friends with benefits.

So, he took his finger out, licking your arousal off before he began to touch himself. "You think you can take it?" He asked, looking at you with a warm, but desperate look. You had known about some sex things.. oral.. anal.. vaginal.. but that was it. But, if he touched you, maybe you needed to touch him too? Warren moved up on the rock some more, you moving up from your laying position as you looked down at his bulge. Your hand pulled down his pants some, then the boxers came next. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw his bush.. your hand getting so much closer to his cock.

You pulled down his boxers fully, his dick springing a little as a small sigh left Warren's lips. His head went back as he looked back down, almost like that had been too much. You felt the urge to apologize, but you didn't in order to keep the mood. You stared at his raging red tip for a moment, swallowing slightly as you drooled at the sight. Your body reacted fast. Your pussy began to clench around nothing, your clit making you feel light as you stared some more.

Your hand finally moved up to his dick, your small hand barely able to wrap around him. You hesitated for a moment, but you clenched your hand around him, straining a moan. His breathing quickened from the warmth of your hand and you felt your stomach churn from your need. The slick was building up so much more and you felt as if you could die. Regardless, your hand began to move up and down his length, a breath of air coming out of his mouth as he calmed himself down.

The stimulation was so much. So so much.. it made him squirm. The way your hand felt around him was unbelievable. Never in a million years would he think you'd feel so nice. Your soft hands touching him was so much better than his hand. His rough, large, veiny hand. He pulled up his shirt some, revealing his v line as his head shot back from the pleasure. Your hand went faster, little slick noises coming from his dick. You stared at it. You couldn't really not stare. It was hard for you to even focus with how.. beautiful it was. It wasn't gross or shaped weird.. it was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Warren smiled, looking down at your hand as you stared. His size grew in your hand.. it becoming sort of scary. You were sure it wouldn't fit. You were sure he would say "we should just be friends" in the end. You knew something like that would happen.

And the reason was ridiculous. You knew this was too good to be true. You'd wake up any moment.. You'd have to, but that moment never came. Never would either. And that thought began to register.

Warren kept looking at your hand, it going faster and faster. You looked up at him, sort of worried in a way, but he still had that smile as waved of pleasure shot through his body. He moaned, and you felt butterflies as you smiled some. Your eyes shifted back to his cock, the tip now leaking white. It wasn't much, but soon it began to drip down the side.. following one of the veins.

"Fuck.." Warren said under his breath, looking at his dick as his head shot back again. You kept your hand around him, but you didn't move it. You just looked before your hand went up in one swift movement and took the cum off, making Warren moan some. He twitched a little, some more cum seeping out, but he didn't care. He pulled you up, kissing you one last time before your session was interrupted.

"Yo! Warren?" One guy yelled, but you soon identified it to be Chas. You looked back, jumping off Warren as he did the same, pulling his pants up quickly. Chas was walking closer by the second, but Warren didn't want this to end. Never really, so he whispered 4 words that you'd remember for the rest of your life.

"Go to the car." He patted your back, adjusting his pants a little before walking up the path, meeting Chas as he looked at you. "What's she doing here?" He asked, pointing as he looked at Warren. He just shook his head, walking up the makeshift path as Chas followed. Warren's hand made a movement, sort of a wave, and you began to catch up as your head felt so much heavier now.

You felt like you were on top of the world. Like you were the coolest, and best person ever. The feeling of the man you loved since middle school saying meet at the car felt nice. Especially just giving him a handjob.. that was wonderful. Now, you could actually imagine something right before you went to sleep at night. Or just scenarios..

– few minutes later

You were sitting in the car, the seat sort of hot. Your thighs were very hot, so you assumed it was that. You didn't really do much. You just sat there while you occasionally looked up to see warren talking. But, the last time you looked he was gone. And instead, he was opening the door.

"They think we're getting beer." Warren said, starting the car before he began to back out of the space. You turned to him, only thinking about his dick. "They think? So what are we gonna do?" You knew exactly what you two were going to do, and Warren just turned his head to you, laughing slightly. "You know exactly what's gonna happen, don't even." He shut that down immediately and the scenery changed from trees and woods to sketchy roads. You stared at the road infront of you, leaning your arm on the car door as you watched.

Warren then pulled over, a spot in the woods but awfully close to the road. You turned to him, and he immediately crawled over the barrier between you two and began to kiss you deeply once more. You kissed back, Warren's hands traveling all over your body as whimpers and little moans escaped your mouth. Warren loved those noises you made.. Your wonderful noises. "Get in the back." Warren said in between a kiss, him settling back in his seat as he began to undo his button up and pants. He stripped in the front of the car, you moving in the back while you began to pull of your skirt.

It had been a nice day to wear your pink panties, but Warren loved them. He loved what was under them too.

Once the two of you were basically stripped the to skin, he crawled into the backseat with you, placing you down on the fabric as he began to kiss you once more. His hands kneaded your tits through your croptop, but they eventually slipped under it and had free roam. You moaned into his mouth, the kiss feeling hot and steamy as his thumbs played with your nipples. "Fuck.. You're so hot.." he mumbled, pulling from you and looking at your panties. He licked his lips, his body moving down a bit before he moved your legs up, folding you in half as he looked at the wet spot on your panties.

"Oh sweetheart.." he cooed, your body beginning to feel so much more hot than before. You were practically melting under him.. it was so much. And you just watched as he began to pull up your panties, revealing your hot slick. "Wait.." you said quickly, looking up at him as you began to feel worry on top of the arousal. "What if someone sees us?" You were starting to doubt this. Why didn't you two just go somewhere more secluded? Like an abandoned parking lot or something.. "then let them watch." He smiled, pulling your panties off completely before throwing them in the bottom of the car. He looked at your folds, his right hand going down to pump himself as he stared.

It was enough to make him cum, really. Your body was beautiful.. a masterpiece even. He thought he was so lucky to be fucking you, bur you thought the opposite. You were so obsessed with him. He was something you thought about every day.. every single day. He was the reason you dressed so nicely. The reason you took commitment into makeup.. the man you wanted to impress. And it seemed to work.

"You ready?" He asked, his dick moving up to be right on top of your folds. You nodded sheepishly, choking down some saliva as you felt your body grow much more nervous. You felt his tip align with your entrance, and finally push in. You gasped softly, feeling his tip push in more, eventually going much deeper and hitting your cervix. Your breath hitched as his size stretched you, warren biting down on his lip as he felt how tight you were. "Jesus, you're tight.. You're really tight.. fuck.." he began to move in and out of you slowly, each time making warren closer to his orgasm. You clenched around him, your body barely able to handle his size.

You were a virgin.. this was a lot. Literally. His dick was so big, and as he began to thrust into you, you felt your pussy feel so much wetter. Warren knew this, and he knew it was just a natural thing. Most virgins bled, but you just provided more slick for him to work with, which was wonderful. It made him easier to slip into you, so he used it to his advantage as he began to go faster.

You moaned some, Warren's hands clutching your knees to your chest as he went a little faster, his eyes going shut as he reveled in the pleasure. He cussed under his breath, your lewd noises growing so much louder as the skin of yours and his slammed into each other.

"Warren!" You screamed, your eyes rolling into your head as he went at an unbearable pace. Soon, the both of you were cussing to yourselves as your orgasms came much closer, and finally the both of you came. Warren was quick to pull out, his cum spraying all over your stomach as you both panted, taking in the sight. Warren twitched some again, his hot cum feeling like a trophy. The view was great. You couldn't lie.

Seeing his dick slowly become softer made butterflies appear in your stomach, and you just sighed. Your head going back as you closed your eyes. Warren collapsed on top of you, sighing as well.

"We should probably go get that beer now."

☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆

This took so long omg. Yall better like this or I'm gonna die and shrivel up

But ty for reading!! Still not sure what the word count is but I'm hoping it's more than 2k.

Taglist: @kaismanwich @tatelangdonsgirll @daylas-life @hyperharlz @kaiju-superstar @howtobesasha @luttic

#evan peters #evan peters characters #evan peters fanfic #evan peters smut #evan peters x y/n #evan peters x reader #evan peters x female reader #warren lipka x reader #warren lipka #warren lipka x you

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iloveundertaesooomuch · 4 months

Text

Some advice from AU Calebs!

Heck yeah I did it! Finally i finished ONE of the HUNDREDS AU crossover ideas I have in my head!! Crossovers are fun guys!! (I apologise for a bad english in advance. Writing this it a rush.)

"It's ok to ask for help." (A Reverse Of Feathers And Mud by @jess-the-vampire)

I couldn't make a crossover meme without the legend. Sorry, not sorry. He is such a sad lad but tries to stay positive and be happy for his family uydfykudsutsudskudsluds (*dies*). I have to admitt, Caleb's dad energy is too strong for me to handle without wanting a hug him. No wonder! He was THE grandpa for centuries straight without a break. At least Caleb gets his whole family together in the end. Comics with him and either Hunter and Philip or Luz and Eda make me run in cirles around the room aaaa.

"You are not a burden." (Brother's Keeper by @idoodlestuffsometimes)

Damn, you definetly created one of the darkest AU in the fandom. Each time I re-read AU related posts I scream my lungs out because it is so angsty and so great. I am genuinely scared of your Belos ngl, because.. this man didnt loose anything and he still proceeds to do all that stuff. Enconter with him has 0 survival rate.

POOR CALEB! At least in the world of memes he had an opportunity to flee the captivity twice (the bald head and the car). This man had no moment of mental rest for centuries oh my God. One of my friends wants to fight his brother personally to protec Caleb at all cost sksksk. Well, at least Hunter will always have an actually loving relative! And if the happy ending is going to be canon, I think the future looks great, especially knowing how much pain all your characters go through currently. (And I think both Caleb and Hunter would need the "you are not a burdain" affirmations. At least some form of support in their situation.)

You said in the latest ask-answer that BK!Caleb was supposed to have white streaks in his hair so I attempted to add them. Hope they look fine! Colors for the outfit I got from Belos, so they would match, I guess???

"Murder is okay." (Loose Strings by @oldmanpip)

My bro, brother, friend... Despite you being not to involved on the discord server, my brain is still rotting with your great awesome AUs. And I know you know that. Your Caleb is really loose in all sences of that word and I love that. Wonder if your AUs will ever be available to the public. Because oh boy oh boy they deserve to be recognised. (Loose Caleb is such a conservative grandpa who never did anything wrong, wdym?)

"Your feelings matter." (Pip In Time by @celestialscribbler)

Honestly? Man, your comic is the reason I got invested in Witteclaw couple at all. Even if the "Pip in time" is not their story, but you wrote their teen romance so sweetly. Those two melted my heart... I scream each time I re-read your comic for 100th time. Just WOAH my brain goes brrr! And Caleb as a character is also written really really well. I love him so much. He is such good brother but MAN HE NEEDS A BREAK FROM BEING AN ADULT! BOY! Insirt crying and heart emojis here.

(PS: hope you still care about your health!)

My thoughts:

I have been drawing this for more than a month I think? And the only reason for that is my university. I hope to actually get an ADHD diagnosis because something is clearly wrong with me. But thats not the point.

There are so many ideas in my head. Goofy and not. The only problem is that I have less and less ability to do what I want lately. I wish I could bring them all to life, but at the same I dont know if anyone will be interested. Would AU crossovers look too self-indulgent? Or nah? Idk. (Just Grimwalker-Isle already has so much potential for stupid ridiculous fun I am runnin on coffee juice.)

Litteraly my mind is plagued with different fun plots and possibilities I am going crazy. But I also have A TON of WIPs that I need to finish. Perhaps I will attempt to manage everything at once, but, no promises.

Wish me luck on my exams!

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apieceoftoastedbread · 3 days

Text

i just finished working boys. holy shit??/pos

mentions of show spoilers under cut

SO. welcome to my ted talk. i just finished working boys. what. the. FUCK. but like in a good way. i loved it! i watched it with my dad kinda and i was giggling the entire time. i love rob as hidgens but if hidgens was anyone else BESIDES jeff i would have honestly not felt the same about it. jeff did great in the whole thing.

also, RUTHH!!.., MY BABY💔💔 SHE DID NO WRONG. IT WAS HER DEBUT☹️ she did great and i loved the few seconds of screentime she had.

the people in the audience were also making my tism alarm go off. if i can recall it was bill, ted, officer bailey, ms mulberry, richie, grace, gerald, linda, and brenda? those are all the people i can remember. seeing richie and grace go to see ruth actually made me go crazy i love them all SO MUCH. i wanna take richie and shake him. Ted was being a little asshole as always/pos. poor bill was abandoned. AND GERALD AND LINDA? oh my god i love them. i have a love-hate relationship with linda except she doesnt know who i am and would spit on me and i love her but also need her to suffer. I wanted to take the scene where him and linda are cuddling and just stay there forever. officer bailey made me laugh but also how is that man a cop. he just handed grace the gun?? ALSO GRACE IS SO BADASS BUT SHES CRAZY?? SUPPORT WOMENS WRONGS!! she started saying sumthing about the lord and i got chills.

the dead workin boys?? that was so sick what??

LIKE?? JON ILY YOU SCARE ME SO MUCH/pos. THIS WAS A JUMPSCARE BUT A GOOD ONE.

I LOVE THIS TOO? I FOR THE LIFE OF ME CANNOT TELL WHO THIS IS BUT THEY LOOK SO SCARY AND SICK I LOVE IT

RAHH I LOVE THIS LOOK. I LOVE HOW THEY ARE ALL COMING OUT OF THE MOST UNNATURAL PLACES.

OH MARK YOU SCARE ME SO MUCH MY UNSETTLING LITTLE BABY❤️ PLEASE NEVER SHOW UP AGAIN

THIS IS SUCH A BAD ANGLE BUT ITS STILL SO GOOD?? THEY ALL LOOK SO AWESOME

IDK IF ITS ALL MAKEUP OR CGI OR A MIX BUT WHOEVER DID IT DID GREAT.

THE MUSIC WAS AMAZING. LIKE IDK IF THIS IS ON SPOTIFY OR NOT OR IF I GOTTA UPLOAD WHAT I CAN FIND PRIVATELY FOR MYSELF. STARKID I LOVE YOU.

ALSO THE UNCANNYNESS OF PROFESSOR HIDGENS LAST WORDS BEING “i cant wait to get home to my boys..” WHILE BEING SHOT AT BY GRACE. HE JUST WANTED TO IMPRESS HIS BOYFRIENDS ☹️

uhm uhm im gonna shut up now because my brain is being overwhelmed by over analyzing this but please please please talk to me about this

#starkid #workin boys #working boys #grace chasity #professor henry hidgens #professor hidgens #ruth fleming #hatchetfield #gerald monroe #linda monroe #richie lipschitz #ted spankoffski #bill woodward

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luffyvace · 2 months

Note

helooo can i request saiki x reader bf texts please? thank you so much !! anything is fine honestly as long as its saiki content i miss him 😭😭😭😭

ooooou I haven’t got a request like this yet and it seems very fun!! No problem hun <3

IKR after you finish the anime it feels like such limited content is left for the saiki k fandom!! 😭😭

💓💗 Saiki and his boyfriend~ 💗💓

“Wanna go get some coffee jelly”

“This is oddly specific but can you tell the magician outside to leave please?”

”can you keep aiura and torisuka distracted so I can leave school?”

”thanks I’ll pay you back in (favorite thing)”

”let’s meet at the arcade”

”I’m annoyed my mom is forcing me to go outside but I know I’m gonna run into kaido”

”please come with me to make this more bearable”

”don’t forget to study for that test”

convos :3

”how do I make friends with that average guy from the other class without seeming weird”

”Kusuo idk just go up to him and talk to him 😭”

”yeah but if I don’t have something to talk about it’ll be awkward and my likeability meter will go down”

”can you figure out his interests for me so I can talk to him?”

”what? YOU do it 🤦”

”no i can’t the nuisances will find me”

convo 2 ;P

“Do you wanna come shopping with me?”

”your not gonna invite the nuisances too are you?”

”no kusuo 😭”

”oh okay well no”

“I'm NOT!”

“I know but nuisance number 4 just showed up”

”at your house?”

”no at the mall”

”ohh well fine 🤦”

convo 3

”can I borrow your bike nendo broke mine”

”HOW?”

”idk he sat on it”

”WHAT LOLL”

”I need it so I don’t have to go shopping with my dad”

”why is that so bad?? 😭”

”because he starts begging for things at the store”

”??”

“Isn’t he a grown man?”

”yeah I know that’s why I need to borrow your bike”

”sure babe..😭🤦”

convo 4

”my mom wants you to come over for dinner”

”oh alright!”

”no”

“??”

”say your sick”

”kuu why? 😭😭”

”can’t I come over??”

”no my parents are embarrassing”

”LOL”

”but I’ve come over plenty of times before tho”

”I know but, please just don’t come over”

”what’s happening??”

”fine. My dad wants to play a prank on someone because when he try to scare me it didn’t work. So I need you to come over and pretend to be scared so my mom doesn’t kill me”

”what?? So now I’m supposed to come over?”

”let’s just get it over with”

”you go through so much I swear 😭💗”

convo 5

”when you come over and my mom asks if you wanna meet my brother say no”

”whaaat but I kinda wanna meet him”

”say no”

”for both of our sakes”

”if you don’t go I won’t have to either”

”fine 😒”

convo 6

”goodnight kuu”

”goodnight m/n”

convo 7

“I hear nuisance number 4 isn’t showing up to school today”

”no she isn’t”

”rejoice. God is real.”

”KUSUO 😭😭”

convo 8

“your driving home today right? Can I hitch a ride? Nuisance number 1 is here”

”wait which nuisance is that again?”

”how can you forget? It’s the second most terrible one. Nuisance 1 is nendo”

”OHH YEAHH”

”hurry he’s coming”

”YEAH MEET ME AT THE CAR LOL”

convo 9

”come with me to nuisance number 2’s house so I don’t have to go alone”

”kaido right? he’s not so bad right? I can’t I have homework”

”no he’s just really weird and cringe and awkward”

“I’ll wait”

”okay 😭”

convo 10

“can I come over and we can watch that show you recommended me?”

”yeah sure any time kuu”

”you really don’t have to ask, I could get you a spare key if you want”

”yes an emergency escape route in case of nuisance surprises”

”WOW OK”

”and you ig”

convo 11

”that was sweet. what you did for them”

“Yeah I guess they’re not so bad for now”

”for now Kusuo?”

”you sound like my mom”

”actually, that’s not an insult I love your mom”

”I know”

”WYM 😭”

”you hug her more than I do”

”well that proves smth 🤨🤨”

”eh. I’ll get her a gift”

”good cuz she’s awesome 😙”

convo 12

“let’s finish playing that game you have”

”NO”

”WHY IT WAS SO FUNNY”

”you have never even played it he’s so annoying”

”LOLL YOU DIDNT HAVE TO TELL HIM TO DIE THO”

”you wouldn’t even think it’s funny if I hadn’t have told you”

”come on at least least me see the chapter you said you hated”

”you just wanna see me suffer”

”If I did I wouldn’t have distracted hairo for you earlier”

”FINE”

”LOL YIPPIE I’m coming over as soon as I’m done with my homework 🙂”

”😒”

convo 13

“How do I transfer to class 2”

”you just wanna be with satou don’t you”

”you don’t know how?”

”no kuu, I don’t 🤦”

convo 14

“I have to go visit my grandparents and my granddad is really awkward come with me”

“I’D LOVE TO MEET THEM”

”why do you love my family so much?”

”they’re strange”

”I love YOU 😒”

”are you calling me weird”

”in what way are you normal mister magic powers with weird friends and family who also has to stop a volcano from erupting yearly”

”those are just ordinary daily tasks”

”now your coming right?”

”I should leave you”

”you wish you were normal so bad”

”when are we going”

”on second thought you can stay here”

”STOP BEING SALTY IM COMING”

”NOW TELL ME WHEN”

convo 15

”let’s reschedule the coffee jelly date for Sunday”

”it’s too chaotic”

”it’s Friday”

”I know I’m dreading the weekend”

”my poor kuu 😭”

”stop”

”you sound like my mom again”

*read* 1:39pm

LOL I LOVE CONVO 10-15 😊😈 (it got more chaotic as it went on- 😭)

muahahahahhaha hope you enjoyed! these were quite fun :3

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destinygoldenstar · 9 months

Text

As a kid watching Ninjago, I was just interested in the flashy powers, and the heroics of the main characters, like any kid would. Like, 'Aw these guys are so heroic and selfless and awesome'

But now as an adult, when I recommended my GF the show, I specifically said "This is Family Issues: The Lego Cartoon"

Honestly, Jay likes to complain and hide his upbringing, but he's probably the ONLY ninja with any resemblance of a normal happy childhood and backstory. He has two loving parents who supported him, and was an aspiring inventor.

You could argue Fritz Donegan rectified it, but Jay didn't know this, so how would this affect how is childhood turned out?

At worst, he was dirt poor, living in a junkyard and all, but compared to what the rest of his team went through, I think they'd WANT what Jay had.

Nah, instead most of Jay's trauma and emotional baggage is in the present.

And who else do we have?

We have a robot who didn't even know he was a robot, or had any idea of his identity or memory, so much so that he was just... wandering around the land with amnesia. (Then, you know, everyone thought he was weird)

We have Cole, who grew up in a harsh family background where his dad forced/pressured his kid to be a musician, and canonically suffered depression and bad violence habits after the loss of his mother/during her illness. (Idk about those other Royal Blacksmiths if they are in the family or not, but either way they didn't seem supportive)

Kai and Nya's parents up and vanished from their lives at ages five and three, and they had to raise each other all by themselves with just a blacksmith shop. Basically means they were forced to end their childhoods right there, especially Kai, because older sibling. And there's no indication they had any friends or anyone to help them in their town, at most there was that one lady that they hated, so... ouch.

And... Lloyd.

Just Lloyd.

Half of the show is just Lloyd suffering.

Born as the son of a man forced into an evil oni maniac, said father ditched his entire family.

Mom decided it was a good idea to abandon her kid in a boarding school about villainy. (That's like, the ONE thing I genuinely think the movie did better than the show.)

And that school heavily bullied Lloyd and even exiled him, forcing him on the streets, basically

Everyone hates him and doesn't help him (until Pythor)

Gets tricked by Pythor

Gets kidnapped by Serphantine

Nearly dies in lava

Is given a destiny as the savior of all of Ninjago where he's forced to be on opposite sides of his father, and part of said destiny involves him needing to kill him

AGAINST HIS WILL MIND YOU

Was LITERALLY forced to give up his childhood for this destiny

Was tortured by the Overlord for his golden power

Ice Ninja died

He got his father back, and then he died.

Was possessed by an evil ghost tyrant and was forced to do horrible stuff with no control over himself

Was also physically strained to his limit with that possession

Lost his uncle

Fell in love, and then said crush turns out to be a twist villain who wants to TORTURE him, resurrect his father and steal that fatherly love from him, and have said father try to KILL HIM

Which he was very close to succeeding at

Has to live in hiding for a week thinking all his friends are dead

Twist villain crush dies in a building collapse

That traumatizes him and haunts his trust and empathy towards people for A LONG TIME

Gets cubed in a video game (idk if that counts as trauma)

He's also a dragon oni hybrid, and his oni hide haunts his mind for his entire life, and is terrified to even think of a part of himself

Merge. For weeks he thought all his friends were dead. (Again)

And you know, physical beatdowns from being the Green Ninja, one of the most responsible jobs as the savior of all of Ninjago.

And that is not even everything, I'm sure there's a lot of stuff I didn't mention.

This poor, poor Emo Child.

If this wasn't a Lego show, this would have a Clone Wars tone, I'm convinced.

So yeah, 'Family Issues: The cartoon'.

At least they all have each other. They're a happy found family, and the light in each other's lives. They're here for each other. Their dynamics are precious to me.

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recreationalfanfics · 8 months

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Before I go on my little AC rant I just wanted to say how awesome it is to see another native woman whose an assassin’s creed fan! I rarely see other native people on this app period, but seeing someone else whose an AC fan is just amazing! You’re my favorite writer and I just love everything you write!

Anyway, man I really wish they would have showed or said something about Shay vs Ratonhnhaké:ton after Ratonhnhaké:ton basically destroyed the templars! Your posts have me thinking about Haytham and Shay sharing a platonic darling who is also Ratonhnhaké:ton’s romantic darling. You were probably already stuck with Haytham/Shay before Ratonhnhaké:ton found you during his hunt for the templars. He thinks constantly about how much he wants you away from the templars and safe with them while Haytham is forced to consider shipping you off with Shay somewhere to be kept safe. After Haytham’s death Ratonhnhaké:ton takes you in, but you know that Shay is still out there and will come back eventually. So you’re just stuck waiting around until he does and it probably pushes you a bit more into Ratonhnhaké:ton’s arms because of it. Idk i just really wanted to see a Shay/Ratonhnhaké:ton throw down 😫🥲

OMG. HIIIIII♡ I LITERALLY NEARLY CRIED WHEN I SAW THIS BUT YEAH, SAME, Shay isn't my absolute favorite character (his concept was interesting and the execution was not it) AND YEAH, NO, I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE COOL IF WE GOT A SHAY AND CONNOR SHOWDOWN BUT WE NEVER DID.

But also, that is such a delicious idea omg. Maybe you were taken in by Haytham after he killed your assassin parents or maybe you just knew the things that the Templars were doing were wrong but either way, it wasn't like you could do much. Haytham saw something in you, felt a whole in his heart heal a little when he was around you, and then a fatherly love for you. Since Shay is obviously a Templar at this time, he absolutely adored you as well and he became something of an uncle, morally he wasn't any better than Haytham, but you eased the harshness of time within him and softened his hardened heart. He'd often write to you or when he went to visit Haytham, he'd bring back a gift from wherever he visited because absolutely loved your precious little smile. Then Haytham took you away to the colonies and it pained Shay not knowing how long it would be before you'd be back but he'd still write letters.

You meet Ratonhnhaké:ton when he was working with his dad, he feels embarassed for this but he genuinely does feel shy around you. You're just so mesmerizing and you smile a little when Haytham has to elbow him to introduce himself to you and you introduce yourself to him. Haytham isn't blind, when you must make camp for the night, he sees the way Ratonhnhaké:ton looks at you and the way you look at him. Maybe it was because he wasn't raised in a stuffy Templar upbringing like you or maybe it was the way he spoke, his ideals and his thoughts, Haytham watched bitterly and with confliction because on one hand, he cared for Ratonhnhaké:ton in his own way but you...he could see the wheels turning in your head as Ratonhnhaké:ton spoke, how his lessons and teachings were going out your ear as you listened to Ratonhnhaké:ton. He calls it an early night and makes sure you two get into your own separate tents and keeps watch. Haytham knew he needed the boy yet but he can't risk you getting any ideas and trying to leave him when he worked so hard to give you the best life you could possibly ask for. He writes a letter to Shay saying that he should come and take you back on his ship for a while until this whole war is over. In the morning when you all stop by town for supplies, he sends it.

While he's doing that, you and Ratonhnhaké:ton just wandering the streets, talking and cracking some funny jokes here and there. It's when you ask him if Connor is his real name that things get interesting.

"Connor is just easier to remember for most people. My birth name is hard to pronounce for some."

"Try me."

When he says his name, you struggle with the pronunciation only a little but after some practice tries, you finally get it right: "Ratonhnhaké:ton...I like it. Would you mind if I continued to call you that?"

"I would appreciate it deeply."

The way you say his name (his TRUE one) sends goosebumps down his spine, when Haytham comes back from a few errands and you once more ride horseback, you smile to yourself as Ratonhnhaké:ton rides behind you, his gaze that of a lovesick puppy. Then his eyes shift over to his father and they darken ever so slightly as the corners of his lips turn to a frown. He likes being with you, he can't deny it. You're so kind and sweet, so unfazed at the sight of blood and killing due being figuratively shackled to Haytham's side but so doting when he receives the smallest of cuts. You both knew that you were no Templar and there was no question that the only thing keeping you one was his father.

When he kills Haytham, you aren't sure what to feel, so you stand and feel nothing. Ratonhnhaké:ton knows he made a mistake but he can not take it back now. Two orphans walk out hand in hand as you agree in your head and heart to go with Ratonhnhaké:ton wherever he goes. Ratonhnhaké:ton also does end up taking Haytham's journal and learning more about his father, how many times you tried to escape or how many times you cried for your real parents, how you finally became the compliant and dearly beloved apprentice/child for Haytham eventually. Then he reads about the latest entry of how Haytham caught onto Ratonhnhaké:tons feelings-which Connor finds rather embarrassing and nearly puts the journal down to stop there because he thought he was doing well in hiding it-but then his eyes see a familiar name, "Shay".

He knows of him from Achilles, he knows of him because of the amount of blood he has on his hands, and when he tells you about how Haytham sent the letter, you smile sadly.

"I figured...I can leave if you wish me too."

"Why would I want you to do that?"

"Ratonhnhaké:ton"- he feels a certain giddiness in his heart when you say his name- "I am not worth the trouble."

He responds with a simple: "Yes, you are, and more..."

When Shay reaches the colonies again, he knows that something happened to Haytham when he didn't return a few other letters he sent. The one thing that is on his mind when Haytham is confirmed dead was you.

What happened to you?

Where are you?

Who took you?

Shay will look all over the colonies for you and bring you back "home", you know that much. Ratonhnhaké:ton would be daring him to try and take you from him. After getting to know Ratonhnhaké:ton and living life away from the Templars,when Shay DOES find you, you're quick to try and run to Ratonhnhaké:ton. Shay grabs your wrist and pulls you into a hug which you would've loved if it still didn't feel so suffocating now you had gotten a taste of freedom. When he tries to drag you away, Ratonhnhaké:ton defiantly emerges and grabs your other wrist, causing Shay to look him up and down but more importantly, it's the robes that he's wearing that cause him to scowl.

It would eventually lead to a duel, one where the future of your life will be determined and nothing will change it. Shay would kill without hesitation but Ratonhnhaké:ton is more than willing to do anything he can to keep you with him.

#yandere assassin's creed x reader #ratonhnhaké:ton x reader #yandere shay cormac #yandere shay patrick cormac #yandere shay cormac x reader #shay cormac x reader #shay cormac ac #yandere connor kenway x reader #connor kenway x reader #yandere ratohnhaké:ton x reader #yandere assassin's creed

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