#im sick of all this weight on my shoulders but i can't tell anyone no because they'll be hurt and upset if i do | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

way2gowillow · 2 years

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Why does no one listen??? Like I remember when I was like 10 i started having intense wrist pain and at the time I was cheerleading so i thought it was just carrying the girls so of course I tell people hey hey my wrist hurts rlly bad can you help me but of course they say "it's just from the handstands and cheerleading just ease off" then I 'complain' so much I can't cheer anymore but the pain still persists and I'm telling people I'm in pain I'm in pain hello??? And they're like "well you know you have an bulimia it's probably just being bulimic things" so no doctors or parents listen to me then I recover from bulimia then I gain weight right and they go "oh y'know it's just you being a women that's why your back hurts" then I join my art school and I start taking dance classes to help with my theatre degree im going for so I start dancing, and the pain doesn't stop. "Dad I'm serious my feet hurt so bad I can't even walk" he goes "well maybe you should stop dancing" I go to the doctor for a checkup late last semester 'hey I'm having excruciating pain and it won't go away." "Maybe it's arthritis." But my dad cuts her off "no, they don't need any tests their fine." I'm like 15 atp and I'm trying to literally TYPE ON A KEYBOARD and my fingers lock up I show people LOOK MY FINGERS ARE STUCK I'm in pain, I'm ALWAYS sick I get sick like twice a month something is wrong. I'm taking acting classes that semester so it's not like I'm doing heavy exercise for them to blame it on he goes "you're really being dramatic you're just stressed" now here I am. 16 years old middle of the summer. I've been trying any and everything to feel better to stop the pain from coming in. And I wake up this morning and my entire body hurts. Every. Single. Inch. It's never been this bad before in my entire life. My neck, my shoulders, my elbows, my wrists, my fingers, my ENTIRE BACK EVERY INCH, my hips, my knees, my ankles, and my feet and toes hurt so bad I have literally been unable to even walk more than a few feet without having to sit down, I have a pretty intense pain tolerance too, so I walk downstairs having to get my sister to practically carry me, theyres tears pouring down my face I've never been in this much pain, I walk into my dad's office "dad please it hurts so bad make it stops" HE TELLS ME that "You've been eating pretty bad recently lots of sugar..." (He's a 2 almonds per day type of person, which is ironic because my mother is 350 pounds... But anyways) and I say"okay??? What about my PAIN"

He says "I'll take you to the gym tomorrow, and eat better, you're really doing way to much with all this crying go wash your face." THEN HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY "your room needs to be clean by the way"

WTF I AM SOBBING I AM IN SOBMUCH PAIN and I just like get dismissed like this IVE BEEN IN PAIN FOR 6 YEARS. IT WONT STOP and like why does no one listen to me I'm sick of this shit I'm just gonna just die. Like curk up in a ball and die. I can't even get out of bed, my sister helped walk me upstairs and I'm laying here but like I don't think he understands how much pain I am actually in. I never cry for pain, like ever, yet no one listens.

I don't know, I'm stuck. I need advice. Im not an adult yet I don't know what to do. I'm not like angry or anything but I'm in so much pain how can I convince anyone someone that I need help and if you don't know that any tips to make it stop. I've taken like 1000 mlg of Ibuprofen and it has bearly cut the edge off so please tips god anything would help.

-rosy

I'm so sorry. :( I know how much joint pain can hurt.

I can't convince your father, but I wouldn't give up reaching out for help. Whether it's from him or not, you make sure they don't silence you. Don't give up until you see a doctor again. Describe your joint pain- how long it lasts. If it keeps you awake, if it interferes with your daily activities. Do not hold back. Tell them about how ibuprofen does not help with the pain. (Don't directly ask for pain meds because they will be suspicious that you are only there to get some strong prescription drugs). Instead ask if something can be done to prevent the root cause of the pain.

I'm not sure why your father would object to have testing done for you. It's honestly a pretty simple laboratory test. They'll draw your blood and they'll be able to check your white blood cell count, as well as a bunch of other things. If it's autoimmune, then your white blood cells will be abnormally high. And then they can begin treating you. Any good father would want the best for their child. Him refusing to take you is extremely negligent.

Some advice? let's see...

During my early stages, I took OTC joint pain reliever. It worked for a little but I got worse. Now, whenever I get a flare up I take ibuprofen or Tylenol (whatever I have, but NEVER both). CBD products also help. Lidocaine cream like Icy-Hot helped a great deal too. I'd also invest in some compression gloves or socks. Supposedly ice can help with inflammation but I find that heat works much better for me, so I have a heating pad. If you don't have one that's okay. Just take a rag or clean cloth and wet it under a faucet. Stick it in the microwave for a minute and you can use that. (Just make sure the cloth is damp. If you can, low impact exercise is good since it keeps your body from getting so stiff. For me sometimes I feel like being a blob because everything hurts to move, but I know if I don't at least walk around a bit, then I'm going to feel so much worse.

I know this advice is kind of weak-sauce, but I at least hope it'll do something to help. Again, I highly encourage you keep telling everyone you can that you're hurting. I'm hoping maybe you can get some laboratory work done and they can identify what exactly is going on with you. I would agree that it sounds like arthritis but it could also be something else. I'm not a doctor though, and I can't diagnose anybody. I'm not qualified in any way to make an accurate and informed statement about your own health. :'D

Best of luck. <3

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boyywithluv · 3 years

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#rant #im just buzzing with anxiety and need to let it out please ignore #i just #im tired #i feel like i work work work nonestop and rarely have time or energy to do stuff i enjoy anymore #and theres this frustrating sense of jealousy towards my friends and family bc all of them have so much free time and i have to watch #everyone have time to do whatever they want #im sad #i wanna write and draw and watch shows and im irritated and angry all the time bc im jealous #i feel like im always being crushed under this intense weight of responsibility and i hate it #im not mad AT anyone i know its not their fault #but I'd literally give anything to have free time #to just hang at home and not be crushed under the weight of working and paying bill #but i cant leave my apartment ans go home because home is even worse and the idea of being stuck there is hell #i hate this i hate capitalism all i ever do is sleep and work i hate this #im sick of all this weight on my shoulders but i can't tell anyone no because they'll be hurt and upset if i do

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nessschurch · 2 years

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Booth & bones

lmao that the two replies that i have thus far are both B&B lmao.. I guess i have a brand.

good for me and everyone i guess that i have such a long "bones feels" playlist (also i loves the angsty era up until like season 6?)

anywayssss im gonna make them all diff but yeah here goes! heres part two if anyone cares lmao

1. The Reach by Miranda Lee Richards is always gonna be my number one i think just bc i cried the first time i heard it bc i related it to them so much

"No, I could not forgive myself thinkin' I held you back. Go ramblin' like a freight train and get yourself on track. In being who you are there is no shame, And through the eyes of compromise it never looks the same."

like this song just works so well for them from both perspectives and ill never get enough of it.

2. Water by Pentatonix - it just works so well for them... like esp like from booth perspective like during the 100th??? Then also after they get back from their 7 months apart from Brens perspective??? i just love it a lot lmao

"My voice cracks, I wait for it to pass Heart beats fast for words I can't take back And so I pray I don't drive you away 'Cause I'm scared of what I have to tell you

Timid heart, hide my scars Make me stronger

I can't take this any longer I need, I need you like water It's on the tip of my tongue I'm not asking for much"

3. Get Sick Soon by Hello Saferide - This is a bit of a funny/sweet one thats just very cute about taking care of your otherwise tough s/o when theyre sick, and i love the repeated lyric at the end of "just lay your weight on me and ill be your backbone" and i actually really wanna make an edit with this as like the theme.

"I'll fluff your pillows, I'll buy you a Spiderman comic and read you 'til you fall asleep Sleep on my shoulder! I won't wake you even if My back turns crooked and I have to walk with a limp for a week I'll make you soup and none of that kind that you get in a jar cause I Know you don't like those"

just utter cuteness and tbh both of them vibe with both the ppl in this song lmao

4. There is a Light that Never Goes Out by Sara Lov - This song is like super depresso but sometimes thats just a vibe you crave yknow??? Also yeah i know this was originally The Smiths but this version is the one i always listen too lmao. I just wanna quote this whole song omg. Its v hard hitting though so be warned.

"Take me out tonight Where there's music and there's people And they're young and alive Driving in your car I never, never want to go home Because I haven't got one Anymore

Take me out tonight Because I want to see people And I want to see life Driving in your car Oh, please don't drop me home Because it's not my home, it's their home And I'm welcome no more

To die by your side Is such a heavenly way to die

To die by your side Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine

And in the darkened underpass I thought, "Oh God, my chance has come at last" But then a strange fear gripped me And I just couldn't ask"

ok i think i did the best i could with this one but yeah i mainly relate it around the doctor in the photo and yeah it just makes me emo

5. You & Me (Acoustic) by James TW - I figured we'd end w a cute happy one bc the last one was heavy hitting. This is such a cute sweet song that fits them super well and i like to think of it as post 100th song but also it works really well post fight in 08x15???? Again this is another song i just wanna quote all the lyrics from lmao.

"I didn't mean to hurt you So why'd I let you walk out the door? You say that you don't know me You don't know who I am anymore But if you knew the truth, then Then you wouldn't feel insecure 'Cause if I didn't have you I wouldn't have nothing at all

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes I always forget that you can't read my mind

As long as I got you and me Moving through this world as a two-man team I'll always have everything I need You don't even realise what you mean No one could fall for you quite like me No one could get me so perfectly You don't even realise, You're all that I need 'Cause I want you and me, you and me"

i think the verse after this will fit them better towards the end of the series but i still have that to look forward to i guess? i think imma leave it with these 5 for now ahhh feel free to let me know what ya think if ya want?

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one-spidey-boii · 4 years

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BUMMER SUMMER || peter parker; ch six

read ch five here

masterlist

an; heyo everyone. online schooling is kicking my ass, my cat doesn’t like me anymore, and i keep sleeping until 3pm. no worries tho, cause yesterday i got some starbursts. let me know what you think of this chapter! hearing your feedback is super encouraging :)

**italics indicate flashback**

warnings; mentions of battle wounds (i.e. blood/scars/etc), future smut, mature language, fluff, angst, both peter and oc are 18+!!

word count; 2.7k+

peter's pov

my blood runs cold as soon as the weight of edie's body falls into mine. her limbs are limp and heavy, making it awkward to keep her steady as i gather her in my arms. everything around me is buzzing. every noise is drowned out by the pounding in my ears, the drumming of my heart beat in my chest.

"oh- oh my god. edie." i rush out with a shaky breath as her eyes struggle to stay open, "look at me, please. please keep looking at me, okay? don't close your eyes." i plead.

she gazes up at me, more like through me, as her head lolls against my chest. i pull her into me and lift her off the ground. i try to control my breathing, knowing how i handle these next few minutes will mean more than anything i've ever done before.

edie's eyes wander around the hallway and i make my way to the medical room with bounding strides. she lets out an occasional whimper when i jostle her too much and my stomach drops every time.

when there, i flip the light switch on and take in the room around me. i've never needed to be here before, making me wish every wound i ever endured had landed me in here- just so i can take better care of the girl in my arms.

i move over to one of the two empty beds that resembles those you would find at a hospital and place her down softly. she stares up at the ceiling, her eyelids grow weaker and heavier as time passes. i bite my bottom lip and grab at my hair. i really don't know what i'm doing.

"my side, pete. 'm hurts." she whispers and rolls her head so that she's looking at me now.

i swallow my fear and put up a strong facade for her, "i know, e. just keep looking at me. can you do that?"

edie just barely nods her head and her eyes follow me as i gather the right supplies to address the source of the bleeding. my hands fumble around as i set everything on the cart next to her bed.

"e, im gonna have to take your suit off, okay? i have to get to your side to stop the bleeding." my voice can't help but shake as i mutter the words to her. she just stares back at me with misty eyes that hold no objections.

"m'kay, jus' press the button." edie instructs, her lips parting as her breaths become softer and weaker. with that, i search for the emblem on her wrist and press it lightly. her suit expands and hangs loosely around her frame. i hesitantly begin pulling it down her shoulders, letting out a sigh of relief when i see the dark purple bra covering her chest.

finally able to get a good look at her side, i try to hold back a gasp. along the length of her torso, a gash runs from just under her ribs on her back all the way to her hip bone in the front. no longer being compressed by the suit, the bleeding gushes faster.

i look over at the supplies i’ve gathered and realize none of it will be much help. this is so much worse than i originally thought. i finally move my eyes from the wound and scan the room once again. so many machines that i have no idea how to operate just stare back at me, taunting me as i stand here helpless.

a hand clasps around my own. edie stares up at me with pleading eyes, small whimpers leaving her lips. i hold back a sob as i squeeze her hand back and reach for my cell phone.

the phone rings three times before he picks up, i don't breath until then.

"hello?"

my words are caught in my throat. "uh, m-mr. stark, i need help. edie's hurt and she must have gotten stabbed or something and there's so much blood and i-i don't know what to do or—"

his voice cuts me off, remaining calm and stern, "are you putting pressure on the wound?"

i let go of edie's hand and grab the gauze from the cart, moving to follow orders. "y-yes, sir."

"peter, you need to go to the back right corner and in the first drawer is a device that looks like a pen. grab it and hold it over the wound. press the side button and let it do its thing." mr. stark explains everything to me slowly. i do as he says, grabbing the small device and removing the now bloodied gauze from edie's side.

as i click the side, a blue light emerges from the tip, analyzing the wound before a cluster of lasers move over the length of it. slowly but surely the horrific gash starts mending before my eyes. i grab edie's hand and squeeze. after a few seconds, i feel the gentle press of her fingers against mine.

"everything okay, kid? give me an update here." tony says into the phone i had put down to tend to my best friend.

"yes, mr. stark." i call out.

edie's eyes flutter to meet mine. they're glassy and wet, unshed tears sitting on the brim of her lower lids. i glance at the healing device, taking notice that it has turned off automatically after it finished its job. i shakily put it down and latch onto edie's hand with both of mine.

"hey. hey, there," i whisper to her. she smiles weakly and closes her eyes, finally letting a single tear slide down her flushed cheeks, "you're okay now, yeah? how do you feel?"

she just squeezes my hand one more time before her body releases all the tension it's holding and she falls unconscious.

"peter, what the hell happened?" i jump when mr. stark's voice sounds from the phone again. hesitantly, i move edie's hand to her side and cover her almost naked chest with the blanket draped at the foot of the bed.

i pick up the phone and take a deep breath before giving an answer.

"i-i don't know, sir."

edie's pov

i never realized how often i put myself in danger. when i go out into the city at night, the thought rarely crosses my mind. it was only when i was face to face with the possibility i wouldn't make it home that night, that's when i realized what wearing a suit really entails.

before i even open my eyes, i'm aware of how cold the air feels around me. it bites into my cheeks and the tip of my nose, making me wiggle it uncomfortably. i can tell i'm not alone too. i hear soft breathing come from a few feet away, the source is asleep from what i can tell. finally, i open my eyes.

my heart swells at the sight of peter sprawled out along the hospital bed next to mine. he lays on his stomach, one hand draping over the side of the bed as his other supports his head. i keep my eyes on his peaceful face- and suddenly i find myself fighting the urge to wrap my fingers around his and hold his hand. i lift my hand away from the side of the bed and i gasp at the pain that shoots from my ribs to my hip.

it's excruciating. my skin feels hot and the red flash of pain brings tears to my eyes. slowly, i move my hand to the blanket covering my torso and push it aside. i raise my head slowly to see a horrible looking scar stretched along my side. it's red and angry and makes me sick to my stomach. i fight to keep a sob from escaping my lips, but the sight of the wound makes it nearly impossible. i let out a whimper and the events of the night before replay in my head.

i stay close to the dark alleyways of the city. my lack of web-slinging and flying makes it difficult to remain discreet, but sticking to the alleyways where most of the crimes take place seems to work well for me. the streets become quiet after rush hour hits and the city is lacking its usual light atmosphere. i've been walking for a while and have yet to find anyone who needs help.

once one am rolls around, i stumble upon a younger couple arguing a few meters down the alley. the man is shouting and seems to tower over the girl. she's scared, that i can tell, but something about her seems tough and hard to crack. i hide behind the corner and bend down to wrap my fingers around the knife in my left boot, ready to make a move if necessary.

the man begins backing the girl up against the wall and making large gestures with his hands. he must've said something the girl didn't like because she takes her hand and brings it down across his face with a sharp crack. he stumble back, hand to his cheek. i tense when he looks back at the girl and growls at her like an animal.

as he raises his hand to hit her, i jump from around the building and sprint in their direction. i manage to grab hold of the man's fist before he brings it down to meet the girls' face. his head snaps in my direction and his attention is suddenly on me. i shoot a quick glance at the girl, pleading with my eyes for her to run.

"mind your business, lady." the man hisses through clenched teeth. i hold my ground, focusing on keeping his attention on me so the girl has a chance of getting away. "are you gonna say anything? or just stand there?" he continues. when i don't answer again, he lunges at me.

quickly dodging his attempt at an attack, i slash my knife along his forearm. he gasps and grabs at his now bleeding arm, holding it to his chest. i sneak one more glance at the girl and let out a sigh of relief to see she has fled the scene. the man makes another move and runs towards me. i grab his injured arm and spin him around to face the nearest wall. with all my strength, i push him against the bricks and hold him there while digging my fingers into his cut flesh.

"let's see how you like it, huh, tough guy?" i speak from behind him. he rests his forehead against the brick wall and begins to laugh. it’s a horrible sound. the noise is surprising and unsettling, but i do my best to remain present for the task at hand. i open my mouth to speak again, but all the comes out is a muffled yell as i feel something sharp tear into my side. my grip weakens and the man slides away as i crash forward into the wall.

it feels like someone has tried to sever my body into two pieces. the pain completely overtakes my senses and i no longer have any control. my glassy eyes move to see the man standing behind me, still clutching his arm. next to him is the girl from before, holding a gnarly looking hunting knife by her side. blood drips from the tip of it onto the concrete below. my blood.

the girl comes towards me and kneels next to me on the ground. i stare into her eyes with numb shock, so thrown off by her actions. she smiles at me. a wide, bright white smile that takes up half of her face. she grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls me towards her.

"see what happens when you try to help people? maybe some people just don't need help from someone like you. go along, try getting back to your secret hideout with this, little girl." her words mean nothing as soon as she pushes me onto my back and delivers one heavy kick into my side, leaving me breathless as she and the man turn to walk away.

images keep flying through my head as i stare down at the scar. i can't look away. this thing is a part of me now and i can't bring myself to terms with it yet, not that i expect it to ever be easy. i slowly move back down until my head hits the pillow. i stretch one hand towards peter as the other one falls along the marred skin of my side. my fingers are just centimeters away from peters limp hand, i try to close the distance but fail as shots of fire emerge from my side.

hopeless and in pain, i finally let a wet sob leave my lips. i squeeze my eyes shut and let all the failure and defeat roll along with my tears. it's embarrassing. i take pride in myself for being a trained fighter both physically and mentally. yet, i had been so blindsided by the situation and it came back to get me, leaving me with a scar to remember it.

clammy fingers meet mine and squeeze tightly. i roll my head to the side and see peter kneeling next to the bed. his eyes are soft and tired. seeing his face makes me cry even harder with both relief and sadness. peter parker is here for me, holding my hand and rubbing the back of it with his thumb as i cry and cry and cry.

eventually, i have nothing left but empty sobs and quiet whimpers. peter has moved closer, his head resting atop of mine as he places soft kisses in my hair. it's intoxicating and warm and i want him to do it for hours on end, but i need to get myself together. as scared as i am right now, i know he is even more so.

"help me sit up, peter, please." i more demand than ask. he obliges and wraps one arm around my shoulders and the other continues to hold onto my hand. i bite my lip to hold in any sounds of protest as my body shutters and writhes against the unwanted movement.

"i need to call mr. stark and tell him what happened. you need to know too." i whisper.

"maybe you just need to rest a little while longer-" peter tries to say.

"no. just... please find my phone." i plead. with a hesitant nod, peter rummages around the floor and comes back up with my phone. he dials mr. stark's number and sets it on speaker.

as it rings, i look over at peter again. he’s sitting on the edge of the other bed, feet dangling a few inches from the floor. i take notice of the empty feeling in my hand. "peter, just listen as i tell mr. stark. i doubt i'll be able to tell it more than once."

the ringing stops and tony starks' voice booms through the speaker.

"edie? are you okay?"

i let out a breath of air i didn't know i was holding, "mr. stark. i-i'm okay." i say weaker than i want to.

"what the hell happened, wolfie?" he asks, almost in a whisper, his voice is laced with sadness and worry.

with that, i tell him. i explain every little detail as best i can. peter lets out a tiny gasp when i get to the part about being stabbed, which makes me glance in his direction. he won't meet my eyes.

mr. stark doesn't say a word until i'm finished.

"im sending happy over. no, yanno what? i'll come myself." my eyes widen at his words. i immediately want to protest, but he wouldn't have it.

"i'll be there in four hours." he says and ends the call. peter and i finally make eye contact. the tired look in his eyes is still there, now laced with sadness and something else. i can't let either of us be sad for much longer. that's not what i want at all.

conjuring up my best smile, i speak with a chipper voice that only cracks once, "well, parker, looks like the boss man is coming home. we better make this place look presentable."

|| taglist; @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @whycantileaveyou @lovewolfspirit

let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist. hope you enjoyed the chapter. :)fvgggggg

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lee-minhc · 5 years

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//Hwang Hyunjin Mafia au\\

gif not mine,credit to owner

⚠WARNINGS⚠

this imagine has mentions of abuse,and violence.please dont read this if you are sensitive to these topics.

//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\

no this can't be happening again. he promised. he said he would stop. he said he needed me by his side. but he keeps hurting me. he will never stop. i've come to realize this. it's just who he is. he likes hurting people. he says he hates it,but he seems almost euphoric,after beating me to a pulp. the look in his eyes. the look of what seems to be hunger that can't be satisfied till he inflicts pain. the way he clenches his fists,ready to pummel me once i'm close enough.

the sound of his sadistic laughter,filling the room as i beg for my life. the way his eyes almost glow with enjoyment,even as they are darkened with rage. the taunting tone of his voice as he asks why i'm limping the next day. it never stops. he will always find a way to break me down. to make me want to die. to make me feel like i'm nothing.

limping through the house, minhyuck stops me in the middle of the hallway. i flinch at his voice,but force a soft smile as i turn to him. "yes?"i ask.

"take this bag,go to this address. make the deal. come home."he says sharply. he throws the bag at me,and shoves the small post-it into my hand. i quickly nod my head.

"of course. i'll be back soon"i say,keeping the smile on my face. i turn as he walks away,and limp out to the car.

i roll down all the windows as i drive off,enjoying the breeze blowing in my face,flowing through my hair. i rest my forearm on the window seal,spreading my fingers apart,feeling the strong wind weaving through my fingers as i speed down the highway. i breath out a sigh as i shut off the engine.

i haul the bag of money over my shoulder,whimpering in pain as the straps press into my bruises. i push open the door,grunting under the weight of the bag.

i look up and see 9 men as the door shuts behind me. one man walks toward me and i start breathing heavily, but hide my panic as best i can.

"here is the money"I say as i toss the bag toward him. the man advances forward and i back away immediately. my back slams into the metal door and i cry out in pain. the man rushes toward me,and i sharply inhale,my breathing having quickened significantly.

"i'm not going to hurt you"the man says softly. i look up at him,tears flowing down my cheeks."you're jisoo?"he asks softly.

"yes. i am. why?"i ask in a small voice. the man tilts his head. i see confusion flash through his eyes,and then he glances back to the men behind him.

"i-it's just that. minhyuck is always gushing about how he has the most beautiful partner. the most beautiful girl to be his. but...but you are all bruised,and cut up"the man explains.

"i'm fine"i mutter as i look down. the man grabs the bag from at my feet and starts to walk away before turning back to me.

"jisoo"he calls out. i look up at him,and see pain in his eyes. "we can help"he says softly."y-you can?"i ask,my eyes shining with hope.

"help us get rid of him,and you will be free. you won't get hurt. you won't have to live in fear"he explains. i hesitantly nod my head,a small smile growing on my face. "come with us"he says. i look back to the men behind him,and see them all nod in agreement. i look back to the man in front of me and slowly reach for his held out hand. i pull back just as he goes to grasp my hand.

"no. he will kill us all. i-i have to go back now"i explain before running out the door. i jump into the car and speed back home,slamming the door shut,and racing to my room before minhyuck can find me.

a week and a half later,i find myself in the same situation,only in worse condition than last time.

i wheeze as i collapse onto the warehouse floor,the bag dropping next to me. "jisoo!"i hear the familiar voice call and rapid footsteps racing toward me. i scream in fear and push myself away.

"no!"i plead,my tears staining the concrete flooring. "jisoo. please. let us help!"the man says,his voice sounding weak,almost helpless. i look up to him,tears still falling down my cheeks.

"don't you understand? i can't leave! he will find me,and kill me"i say weakly."he won't stop till he kills me. he doesn't let things like that go!what do you think happened to haeyoon"i sob out. the boys all look to each other knowingly. one of the other boys steps forward,and slowly sinks to sit in front of me.

"jisoo. i know you are scared. you are absolutely terrified of minhyuck. but i promise. we can help you. we can get rid of him. you just have to let us help you"he says as he slowly reaches for my hands.

"hyunjin"the first man says,almost sounding like a warning. the boy in front of me looks me in the eyes,and i lose it. i hold him tightly as i cry into his chest. he wraps his arms around me and holds me till i calm down. once i stop crying,i look up at him.

"what do you say,jisoo. will you let us help you?"he asks softly. i look into his eyes, nod my head,wiping my cheeks free of the remaining tears.

i pull away from him and push myself to my feet,only for my legs to give out,and land against his chest."i-im sorry!i didnt mean to!"i stammer out as i push myself away from him.

hyunjin grabs my hands and pulls me back to him."dont be sorry,it isnt your fault.lets get woojin to clean you up,yeah?"he says softly.i shake my head.

"later,we have to leave.i was already supposed to be back by now.he could be here any minute"i say as i turn to the door.hyunjin and the other boys all rush out to their cars,and speed off.

about 30 minutes into the drive,i gasp and tell hyunjin to stop the car.the boys follow hyunjin,and pull into an outcropping of trees on the side of the road.

"someone give me a knife"i say as i look down at my thigh.a freckled boy holds out a knife to me and i grab it."which one of you is woojin?"i ask.he raises his hand.

"do you have medical supplies with you"i ask."of course"he says."get it ready.minhyuck put a tracker in my thigh.im going to cut it out"i say shakily.

"what!no!"hyunjin shouts as he goes to take the knife from me."i dont want him knowing where i am going.just let me do this.woojin has his supplies,i will be okay.ive endured worse"i say firmly as i back away from him.

hyunjin bites his botton lip and nods his head.i shakily breath out and i pull up the leg of my shorts.i see the faint blue blinking of the light and position the knife above it.

i cry out in pain as the knife punctures my skin,and quickly finish the job before letting woojin take over and stitch it up.

i stare down at the small bit of metal on the ground and pinch my eyes shut."lets go"i say as i look up.i go to take a step but hyunjin picks me up."im not letting you walk after cutting a chunk of your leg out."he says firmly as he walks back to his car.

we all drive off again,and when we stop next,we are in front of a mansion."he doesnt know where this is,right?"i ask in a small voice.

"he will never know.we never tell anyone we make deals with,where we are living"hyunjin says as he carries me into the mansion.

as he walks me down a hall,he notices how my eyes linger on the kitchen."do you want food?"he asks.i shake my head."no!im not hungry.im okay"i say immediately as i look away.

"jisoo.when was the last time you ate"hyunjin asks."like 6 days?i dont remember.but im okay!i promise"i ensure.

"too bad.you are eating.minhyuck kept you from eating didnt he"hyunjin says as he walks into tue kitchen.i look down,avoiding his eyes.

"how could he do that to you.i swear once i get my hands on him-"hyunjin spits,his words like venom as he glares at the pan."hyunjin.stop"i say from my seat across from him at the island.

"dont stoop to his level.you are better than that.you are better than him"i say softly.he sighs and shakes his head.

"i just cant believe he would do that to you,or to anyone.he is sick"hyunjin breaths out as he turns his focus back to the food in the pan.

//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\

i laugh out as hyunjin throws me over his shoulder,running through the back yard.he sets me down and we drop to lay in the lush grass beneath our feet.

i stare up to the clouds with a genuine smile."hyunjin"i say as i roll onto my stamach, resting my chin on his shoulder.

he turns his gaze to me,showing me a soft smile."thank you for helping me"i whisper as i graze my fingertips over his cheek bones.my eyes trace over his features,and finally land back on his eyes.

his eyes soften,turning to a warm brown as his smile grows wider.the world around us stops.i trail my fingertips over the soft curve of the bridge of his nose.his pink lips.his plump cheeks.

hyunjin brings his hand up to my cheek,and i immediatly lean into his touch."what can i say,i'm you knight in shining armor"he says softly.i let out a soft chuckle and shut my eyes softly.

when i open my eyes again,hyunjin is staring at me,the look in his eyes soft,loving,something i never seem to get used to. i sit up,and place a hand on the grass,on his other side.

he smiles and leans up onto his elbows,leaning up.i rest my hand on his shoulder,as i close the gap between us,moving my lips softly against his.

i feel him smile into the kiss and pull away,resting my forehead against his,giggling softly as i stare into his honey eyes.i feel a sense of warmth and safety spread throughout my chest,engulfing my whole body as hyunjin kisses me again,this time pulling me onto his lap,and hugging me close.

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