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sipsteainanxiety · 2 years

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you found him by accident, curled up inside the head of a tulip.

the forest near your cottage had a vast variety of flora that you liked to catalogue in your free time. flowers with velvet petals that glowed when the moon was waning. red vines that grew longer when they felt eyes on them. trees that seemed to have a sort of sentience to them when they thought they were alone.

there were just so many different plants out there with properties you could only dream of. you spent countless evenings wandering through shrubs and overgrowth, a small journal in hand that you opened whenever you found a new specimen to document. it was a lovely way to pass the time, and you made use of your findings to aid in developing new medicines or salves for you to use.

today in particular, you walked in a direction you had not before and found yourself standing in a small field surrounded by trees. you breathed in deeply, relishing in the fresh air that swirled calmly around you. the sky was tinged with the gradient of dusk, burnt oranges and nebular purples easing into each other as though from a single painter's stroke.

you spotted a patch of flowers to your left and headed over to it to see if any of them were new to you. there was a mix of cerulean-colored flowers with petals shaped like stars and sunshine tulips that waved gently with the summer breeze. you crouched down, one of your hands reaching out to gently caress the vibrant green of a tulip's leaf.

you opened up your journal and started jotting down descriptors for the cerulean flowers, pondering in your head what to call them. their color clashed with the bright yellow of the tulips in a way that you found interesting. it meant they both thrived in similar conditions. it didn't look like one was out competing the other either. that was good.

you scribbled away for a moment, then looked back up to inspect the cerulean flowers. and that's when you noticed a small splotch of red—stark against the vivid green of the leaf it was on. you blinked and squinted your eyes at it before learning forward to swipe your finger across it. it smeared onto your index finger and you brought it up closer to your face to inspect quizzically.

it... it almost looked like... blood?

you looked back at the flower leaf you had found the splotch on and noticed there were more small splashes of crimson scattered along the leaves and stems of a few flowers. they seemed to lead in a certain direction, so you followed the trail of blood with your eyes until you noticed a larger splash on the leaf of a tulip. the yellow of the tulip's petals had some smears of ruby red on the outside—from what you could see, it was the only flower with blood on its petals... especially as smears. you shuffled closer to that particular tulip and peered at it curiously, your breath soon hitching in your throat.

there was a fairy curled up inside the head of the tulip.

he was in a small ball, using the petals to shield him from the outside. but what really caught your attention was the crimson that stained his clothes to an almost deep burgundy. it made you lift a hand to your mouth, your eyes darting all over his small form so you could take note of his injuries that you could see. one of his wings—an iridescent thing that shimmered even in the remnants of the sunset—was torn diagonally across its center. you couldn't make out how severely he was hurt, but he looked bad.

you couldn't just leave him like this. even from your height, you could see his ash-blond hair sticking to his color-drained face that was scrunched up in pain. you abruptly shut your journal and tucked it in your pants pocket. then carefully—so, so carefully—you plucked the tulip the fairy was in. you were cautious, gentle, as you rose to your feet, your hands cradling the tulip head so as to not jostle the fairy around too much.

you were quick as you made your way back to your cottage, your steps carefully calculated to avoid tripping over anything. your eyes lingered constantly on the fairy in your hands, checking to see if his small chest was still moving. it was, but just barely. you bit at the inside of your cheek. could you even do much with the state he was in? you didn't know. but still, you had to try.

you practically barged through your cottage door, shifting the tulip head to one hand so you could clear a section of your table stacked with jars of pastes and salves. you grabbed a piece of soft cloth from a drawer in your little kitchen and folded it a few times before setting it down on your wooden table. then you looked down at the tulip.

fuck, how were you going to get him onto the table?

you didn't want to move him too much, but you didn't really have a choice, it seemed. you started plucking some of the petals, letting them fall onto the table so you could make an opening. then, as you willed your hands to stay as still as possible, you slid your fingers underneath the fairy's body.

he really was quite small. you'd have to guess he was around five inches or so, though being curled in a ball made him look even smaller. he made a rough noise once you'd gotten your fingers under him and you immediately froze. he settled down after a small moment, and you let out a breath of air before you carefully moved him so that he was on top of the cloth you'd set out.

from then on, you were in healer mode.

you grabbed a nearby lantern so you could see what you were doing, allowing the flickering tangerine light to cast itself warmly across the table. then, you bustled around your cottage, hands snatching up items ranging from cotton balls to jars of ointment and a needle with thread. you had a pair of tweezers somewhere in your room that you snatched up as well as some bandages and a small knife to cut them into smaller pieces.

you set everything onto the table, then grabbed some more pieces of spare cloth and a bowl of warm water. you pulled over a chair and sat down, the fairy resting in front of you with all your materials surrounding him.

he had moved from his curled up position, thankfully, and was now stretched on his back. even in his sleep he was in pain, you noticed, eyeing his scrunched up brows.

you had to be nimble as you cut down the center of his dark green shirt to reveal his wounds. there was a deep gash along his abdomen that was still bleeding. he also had a smaller one below his collarbone. you soaked a cotton ball in some of the water and used the tweezers to press it gently to his stomach. you hoped he hadn't punctured anything significant.

you had to replace the cotton ball multiple times before the gashes stopped bleeding. you wiped away the rest of the blood from his upper body, then grabbed one of the salve jars so you could open it and smear some of its contents across his wounds. the salve had healing properties—hopefully it would help prevent infection so you could start to stitch him up.

after that, you wiped your fingers and started prodding gently at his legs. he had some pouches and what looked like a small sword attached around his waist. you fumbled slightly as you removed them and set them to the side. then you murmured a small apology as you pulled off his pants to see if he had any injuries on his legs.

there was another gash across his right thigh. when you pulled off his boots, his left ankle also looked tender. you wondered what had happened to him to make him get this messed up. you stopped the bleeding on his thigh and wiped down his legs before you applied more of the salve. you did your best to wrap his ankle in bandages. it wasn't your best work, but well, his foot was fucking tiny.

glancing at his blood-soaked pants, you grimaced. there was no way he was going to wear that. you could probably wash them and hope that he woke up after you slipped them back on.

the salve needed a few more minutes before it would get absorbed into his body, so you stood up and grabbed his pants so you could toss it in another bowl of warm water and soap. maybe you could make him another set of clothes. you had the sewing materials, after all. you'd have to take rough measurements, though.

you returned back to the table, noting that his face had relaxed slightly from its pained grimace from before. you carefully pressed your index finger to his forehead to check the temperature—he was a bit hot. that wasn't good, but it was expected.

you ripped up a smaller piece of cloth and soaked it in some cold water before you placed it on his head. then you got to work with stitching his deeper wounds.

it was tough work, using your smallest needle to sow him together. you kept pausing and glancing up at his face to see if he would wake up, but he was out cold. you felt like you were a child, playing operation on a doll. except, what you were dealing with was very much alive and was currently depending on you—albeit unknowingly—to stay alive. the thought made you swallow heavily and focus harder on stitching.

after what felt like ages, you cut the thread and tied it off, your hand wiping across your forehead to get rid of the perspiration there. he hadn't needed many stitches—really, only his thigh and abdomen required them. you opened another jar and smeared another paste across his wounds before you completely wrapped him up in bandages. then you eyed his wing.

he'd been somewhat laying on it all this time. you weren't really sure what to do for it. it wasn't bleeding, but it did look painful. you settled on gently pushing him onto his side and dabbing a salve over the tear before you slapped a bandage patch on both sides of it. that would have to do for now.

you moved him onto his back once more and covered him with a piece of cloth large enough to act as a blanket. you stretched your arms out as you glanced out one of your cottage windows. it was dark outside—how long had you been working? the tips of your fingers hurt from all the stitching and careful motions you had to do. you flexed your fingers and looked back at the fairy.

his face had smoothed down into a somewhat peaceful look. you let out a sigh of relief and slid the now-warm piece of cloth off his head. he had blood on his cheeks and neck—you'd been hesitant to wipe it away, but now you could since you were finished taking care of him.

you grabbed a piece of cotton and soaked it with water. then you started softly wiping it along his face and a bit through his hair. his face scrunched up again. you were trying your best not to move too roughly to wake him up, but he still stirred. you froze, breaths bated, as his eyes squeezed shut before he started slowly blinking them open.

the first thing you noticed was the color of his eyes—crimson like the very blood he’d been soaked in. they were hazy as he squinted up at the ceiling, but they sharpened surprisingly quickly once he realized he was no longer hiding in a flower. and once they swiveled around to land on you, you saw them shrink into tiny pinpricks.

a beat passed where all he did was stare at you.

then he lunged towards your hand—that had been hovering by his face with the cotton ball pinched between your fingers—and promptly sunk his teeth into your thumb.

“yeowch!” you yelped as you dropped the cotton ball and snapped your hand back, shaking it slightly as though that could get rid of the sting you felt. his teeth were fucking sharp, what the fuck. you grimaced at the beads of blood that welled up from the tiny pricks on your thumb before you looked back at the fairy.

he'd taken your momentary distraction to stumble to his feet, teeth bared in a snarl, and lunge for his tiny sword. it had been drawn and was pointed at you, the blade gleaming at you in the flickering light from the lantern. it... wasn't much larger than a needle, but you still raised your hands up in surrender.

"whoa! hey!" you kept your voice low and soothing. it was obvious he was wary and maybe slightly panicked as his eyes darted about to take stock of his situation. they landed on you and his snarl seemed to deepen. "be careful! you're really hurt."

"you!" the fairy growled at you, his voice surprisingly raspy. he swayed a little on his feet, but seemed to cement himself. you eyed him cautiously. "you're the hag who lives in the shitty hut in the forest."

hag?! why this little— "i'm gonna pretend that you didn't just say that," you said cooly, lowering your hands slightly. you were not going to throw this little fucker across the room, you weren't. "you know who i am?"

"'course," he spat out, the glare on his face unwavering. there was still a smudge of blood on his cheek that you hadn't been able to clean before he'd woken up. "everyone in the damn forest knows who y'are with how y'keep stompin' about."

"i don't stomp." you frowned, your lower lip jutting out a bit in a small pout. "if you're so knowledgeable on who i am, then you know i'm not gonna harm you." his lips twitched at your words, but he didn't say anything. you continued, "relax. i found you in a flower and brought you back to my home to stitch you up." you gestured one of your fingers up and down his body.

it was then that he seemed to register the bandages that were on his torso. he looked down at himself, his free hand running along his stomach, before he realized he had no pants on. his face turned red as he snapped his head back up to snarl at you. "you—!!"

"i didn't do anything, your clothes were just very bloody!" you rushed out, heat crawling up your neck. "i'm sorry i had to cut open your shirt. your pants are in that bowl soaking." you pointed over to the other bowl you'd put it in that rested on the other side of the table. "i could probably... make you some new ones..."

the fairy's jaw tensed for a moment, his grip tightening on his sword. he was holding himself a bit awkwardly, but seemed to hide his pain well, especially with his tender ankle. though, you still noticed the way his face was a bit pale, sweat lingering on his forehead. he shoved his sword back in its scabbard and struggled to suppress his limping as he walked over to the makeshift bed you'd made for him.

he snatched up one of the pieces of cloth to wrap around his body. you watched him curiously. his hands trembled minutely. "what are you doing?"

"'m leavin'," he snapped at you, shooting you a glare that dared you to protest. the hair on his head practically bristled with his irate mood.

"right," you replied dryly. "and how do you expect to get anywhere in your condition? you'll reopen your stitches if you haven't already. and with your ankle and wing being busted you've got no chance of getting very far at this time of night."

he frowned at you as though considering your logic and looked over at a window to see the deep darkness that consumed the outside. he scowled at it, then looked at himself once more and the blood-soaked cotton balls that surrounded him. you waited patiently as he seemed to think, his wings moving slightly—shakily. then he scoffed loudly, aggressively ruffled the spiky hair on his head, and plopped himself down on the cloth-bed. an admission—albeit reluctant.

"fuck you," he grumbled. you tried not to roll your eyes. this fairy was so rude—were all of them like this? you hoped not.

"wonderful. nice to know you have a brain in that small head of yours." he shot daggers at you at your words, but you paid him no attention and started collecting all the garbage on the table. you got up to toss everything in the trash and moved all the medicinal supplies to the side to use later on. the fairy watched your every move, his gaze sharp as though trying to catch you doing something bad.

you grabbed some bread to put on a napkin and set it somewhere next to him. he eyed it like it had just stabbed him in the gut.

"you need to eat something," you told him as you pushed the bread closer. "and you need to rest. i'll have to keep checking your wounds to make sure they're healing properly."

he only gave you the stink eye and made no move to rip off some bread. this time you actually did roll your eyes. he could be stubborn all he wanted, but he'd have to give in eventually.

you sighed quietly and moved away from the table. you were too tired to deal with this right now. your back ached from being hunched over him as you'd tended to his wounds. "i'm going to bed. please remember that i'm here to help you—it's my job. if you need anything, just ask." he didn't say anything else, only glared as you walked away to get ready for the night.

within the safety of your room, away from his burning gaze, your shoulders slumped. you didn't know he was going to be so... be so prickly, but you supposed it was expected. whatever. you didn't regret taking care of him—it was only the right thing to do. you grumbled to yourself as you got ready for bed, avoiding the kitchen area of your cottage to give the fairy some alone time and privacy.

you slid into bed and tugged the covers up to your shoulders. still, you did not sleep. you only stared up at the ceiling, the light from the kitchen lantern glowing through the cracks in your bedroom door. you couldn't hear anything apart from the occasional hoot of an owl from outside and the crickets that chirped just under your window. you blinked tiredly. the light went out after a few moments.

you sighed and rolled over as you closed your eyes, wondering if he would stay or if you would wake up to an empty house once again.

#lets call this an au of my dragon bkg au where hes a fairy instead #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #meet cute<3 #tw blood #tw injuries #katsuki x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou imagine #probably not gonna write more bc this literally lowkey follows dragon bkg #okay no its highkey #im sensing a pattern...#i DO wanna write more fairy bkg tho....

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suffarustuffaru · 9 months

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why otto was pissed off at julius (also - otto might have developed Control Issues???) (another arc 8 otto theory/analysis)

so this is a sequel to my other post on why otto is so pissed off at subaru (arc 8 ch 24) which. yeah this says a lot about otto either way given ive now made more than one analysis post about why hes being a Pissbaby HAH but anyway.

i think ottos anger at julius is super fascinating bc it seemingly comes out of nowhere, but i think it makes sense upon first glance. julius straightforwardly breaks the hard cold truth to subaru about how louis Has to die. otto snaps at julius bc of what you assume to be either 1. otto doesnt agree with louis dying and/or 2. otto doesnt want julius to say this because itll upset subaru. but then theres the answer that otto gives, which is: otto doesnt want an outsider to the emilia camp interfering with this matter because it affects the emilia camp the most.

we know that reasons 2 (subaru will be upset hearing that louis will most likely have to die) and 3 (otto doesnt want someone outside of emilia camp interfering) are True. the latter is obvious because otto himself is being truthful when he states that, and the former is likely true due to otto snapping at julius after julius says that louis has to die right to subarus face after subarus tried to defend louis, showing that subaru cares deeply for her. otto snapping at julius reads partially, to me at least, as him trying to defend subaru with all the energy of covering the ears on a child so they dont hear something Bad.

but only two chapters after otto first snaps at julius we learn that not only does otto agree with julius on louis needing to be dead, but otto agrees to the point where hes withholding information in order for the emilia camp to remain suspicious of louis and so louis is more likely to die. so it’s interesting that the Only Reasons otto gives to julius on why otto does not want julius interfering with emilia camp are 1. you are an outsider to this matter and 2. you are my enemy. otto is specifically very hostile to julius and anastasia Even After julius apologizes for interrupting in emilia camp matters - and otto Still pushes forward to emphasize that he considers julius and anastasia enemies.

for someone as politically savvy as otto, it's Off-putting that he takes such a passionate position against both julius and anastasia when he knows that theyre not only subarus friends, but theyre also strong allies to the emilia camp who aided them in arc 6 and are loyal enough to follow them into vollachia. so why is otto being so hostile to them when, if anything, it's a Detriment to be so hostile to your own camps allies?

but theres also something else about julius - otto specifically notes that julius "walks in the light" just as emilia and subaru do. despite being beaten down by life, they still choose to hold onto their idealism and their genuine desire to save people. but otto also notes that - unlike emilia and subaru - julius draws the line at louis, and, just like otto, julius figures that louis has to die. which is absolutely not something that julius does on the regular (ex novel readers will remember that julius felt saddened by balleroy dying), and otto recognizes that julius's idealism vs his desire to end louis are in conflict with each other. subaru, at the moment, is at the extreme end of idealism - the desire to save Everyone and go against all odds. otto is, at this point, at the extreme other end - otto is pragmatic and not only doesnt believe that everyone can be saved, but otto doesnt believe that he can have everything he wants, so he has to prioritize. julius, meanwhile, is the in between - julius is a knight that serves a pragmatic merchant himself, and while he wants to save people, he wants to kill louis. he recognizes that louis dying is the cleanest outcome, with a suitable punishment for her actions, and for that reason it has to happen. otto seems uncomfortable by this because he sincerely believes that his path is the best one to take, even though it isnt necessarily morally right - meaning that he figures that he has to oppose subaru and emilia in order to move forward. but then julius comes along and challenges everything ottos thinking by being this blend of subaru and ottos beliefs.

but what is ottos path? otto wants everything to go the way that he plans, which may or may not align with emilia and subarus desires. otto wants it to align with the emilia camps desires because he cares for them and his loyalty to them dictates so much of his actions. but that same loyalty has been leading him to take increasingly excessive actions in the name of trying to keep them safe, both physically and politically, and in his head, keeping his camp safe doesnt Always align with what the rest of his camp wants. keeping his camp safe means doing so even at the cost of going behind his camp's backs. keeping his camp safe means that he's going to keep them safe even if they become upset at his actions.

thats because ottos had this small habit (thats been. steadily growing) of doing what he thinks is best with little to no communication with the rest of his camp. he saved roswaal's tome and kept it hidden from the rest of his camp for a year. he did this out of his continued wariness of roswaal and he plans to restore the book just to find the information in it - and once hes done that, he plans to destroy the book again so that it doesnt fall into the wrong hands. being suspicious of roswaal is understandable, but keeping the fact that he grabbed the tome secret for a year is Definitely a little sketchy. and it doesnt help matters that that same tome he brought into priestella lures the witch cult into the city.

on top of that, theres of course ottos scheming so that the emilia camp agrees to help vollachia in a way that He Wants, along with otto purposefully withholding information about louis. On Top of That, it's not just that ottos withholding information + wanting louis dead - those are already slightly questionable enough, but additionally otto is well aware that subaru cares deeply for louis. otto has not voiced his desire for louis to die and has hidden information that could help save louis's life. theres absolutely No Way that otto doesnt know that if/once louis dies, subaru will be Very distraught by this, but otto keeps going anyway out of pragmatism - out of the thought that subaru will have to eventually get over louis dying, because otto has weighed the possible costs and benefits in his head and hes decided that killing louis has less consequences even though itd deeply upset subaru. thats what walking in the dark means - otto will oppose subaru and emilia out of practicality, because what will actually keep them safe in ottos opinion might not align with what they actually want to do. ottos position in arc 8 thus far implies that hes willing to betray his friends if it means keeping them safe.

this is even more interesting when you bring up a certain quote from the bittersweet peddling trade log side story - otto notes: "But wouldn't I have nightmares if I forsook a person who has done nothing wrong?"

and what is he doing in arc 8? he tried to forsake almost, if not all 50 million people in vollachia. hes trying to forsake someone he knows is innocent now (louis). he's trying to save subaru, but at the same time hes forsaking subaru by withholding information that could potentially save louis. hes tried to forsake julius and anastasia in the sense that his words carry weight as internal affairs minister of the emilia camp and he just declared them - loyal allies to his camp -his enemies.

the thing is - otto is a hypocrite. in more ways than one. otto tells subaru to depend on his friends more in arc 4 - which was the Big Speech of arc 4 - only to turn around and do various things behind his own friends' backs in the name of trying to save them. only to turn around and announce julius and anastasia aka allies to his camp are Enemies. otto snaps at julius to back away as julius is an "outsider" - and while julius is an outsider in the sense that hes not part of emilia camp, everyone reading the novels knows that julius himself has been majorly fucked over by louis and therefore has more than earned the right to have a say in what happens to her. otto remains suspicious of roswaal, understandably, only to agree with todds tactics in arc 7 and make strategies himself (his Leaving Vollachia and only taking who you care about plan) that roswaal agrees with. otto is the one snapping back at roswaal and insisting that roswaals only telling him that opposing subaru and emilia is a poison that will Kill Him because roswaal wants otto to be less difficult and more Compliant so that roswaal can get up to his own schemes - as if otto himself isnt making his own schemes in his head. otto knows that things like his plan to ditch vollachia is callous and hurts innocent people, especially after seeing roswaal agree with his tactics, and he feels guilty for this. but he keeps going anyway, which will likely end up proving roswaal right. the roswaal + otto and todd + otto parallels are Extremely purposeful, especially with the vollachia saga (arc 7-8) where one of the themes is about whether you can truly save everyone without sacrificing morality.

julius might be the proof that there is some sort of middle ground between subaru and ottos worldviews and strategies. you can do unpleasant things that may need to be done while still remaining kind and trying to save as many as you can - instead of abandoning them.

but ottos been Excessively harsh to julius, anastasia, and even roswaal and subaru. getting so angry at someone that you punch a wall hard enough to break your hand not just once, but nearly twice, is Excessive, especially when subarus goal is ultimately just trying to save people. and i think you could also attribute ottos Harshness to the stress hes under right now. otto is - friendly reminder, hah - the same guy who gets anxious easily to the point where his stomach hurts. he gets anxious over paperwork. he gets anxious over his friends and their. lacking. negotiation skills. hes always been Very Loud in his complaints whenever they do things hes not happy with. he admits that hes lost weight because of stress at the BEGINNING of arc 5 (otto, im so sorry but you literally havent gone through all of arc 5+ yet). his drinking is also to cope with stress (our introduction to him in arc 3 is otto coping with his new debt by drinking in a bar). so - otto is Easily anxious. over a lot of things. by the time we get to arc 8, hes gone through a Lot to get here. and stress does Not look good on otto.

where do control issues stem from? yeah, ottos main motivator is to save his camp, but past that, hes tired of not having control. in ch 24 he questions himself - he questions his purpose and his existence and he comes to the conclusion that his meaning for existence is to oppose subaru. subaru, at his core, is all about exerting his will - he brute forces the outcomes he wants because of rbd.

otto, meanwhile, is left to be dragged into danger again and again. ottos life is already out of his control often because of his bad luck and because of his dp making life difficult for him in his formative years - and now hes been dragged into danger repeatedly the moment he got involved with subaru. arc 5 in particular, however, was partially a consequence of otto bringing the tome to priestella - but its a consequence that he didnt expect at all. ottos legs were injured severely by gluttony, leaving him out of commission with no choice but to watch subaru and some of their camp walk away to the watchtower to face more danger without otto being able to be there to make sure theyre safe (otto specifically tells subaru at the end of arc 5 that hes Very Unhappy with this decision). then otto has to go to vollachia to save rem and subaru, only to arrive there and realize that subaru wants to stay to help vollachia. otto goes - fine. if thats what you want, ill help. and then otto finds out that subarus trying to defend gluttony. otto, i think, has grown increasingly resentful of the danger he and his friends have been put in (which is a mix of factors Out of their Control, but its also just. his friends sometimes deciding to do dangerous things as well), so hes developed this mentality that its him and his camp versus everyone else. it all boils down to the thought he has that he cant have both. and if his friends are really going to try to have both, hes going to try to do what he thinks is best. because if they keep trying to pick the more dangerous options - ie the worse options, in ottos opinion - then hes going to make more decisions behind their backs. because hes not gonna trust them to make the decisions that he thinks are the better ones, because its not in Their Nature to do so.

but its in his nature to do that. what do you do when something grows out of control? you try to exert control. theres also the possibility of: why keep allies to your camp around when they encourage your camp to continue staying in vollachia? how can you trust them if theyre going to interrupt on your internal camp affairs?

which is why he grows angry at julius for trying to interfere - because being the internal affairs minister to the emilia camp is otto's job, and he doesnt want someone outside of the camp interfering with his friends and any possible plans he has or will have. this is also why julius apologizes to otto - he recognizes ottos protectiveness and ottos status within his camp.

so. anyway. TLDR: ottos acting a little similar to arc 4 subaru, isnt he? thinking he knows whats best.... trying to manipulate everything around him to get the outcome he wants..... pushing forward on his own instead of depending on his friends..... refusing to depend on his friends.... having Confrontations with roswaal...... etc, etc.

#listen........ i had to write all my thoughts on this before it left my head. HAH. this has gotta be my most polished analysis yet lajsdlfjs #otto is being a little pissbaby. ok. i love him but hes a little freak for sure HAH #rezero #arc 8 spoilers #otto suwen #otto and lack of control is super fascinating. bc you look at him in the ifs and yeah. hes got a Lack of Control alright. its a pattern wit #his life across like. so so many routes. and yeah hes not the only one of course but hes the one who responds to it Bitterly.#like. hes got good intentions. if youre his loved ones. but HAH. oh its definitely leading him to hell alright lajsldfjs #thisll be the last detailed otto post i swear akdndnd. maybe.#frefallingtea added that otto 1. probs feels guilty over the tome leading witch cult into priestella in arc 5 and 2. julius is also a ‘middl #e ground’ bc he was also affected by gluttony (in a way different from subaru and otto) which i forgot to add but both of those are true yes #:O !!#otto literally kind of caused arc 5 fr and then he felt Direct Consequences via being in danger + painful leg injury hah T^T

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grislyintentions · 1 month

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|| HC- Diviner's Fate ||

In reference to the Glimpses into the Beyond manuscript penned by Fuxuan herself, she spares little effort in reminding/warning other diviners that any actions that imply attempts to predict Yaoshi's fate will be treated as an unforgivable felony.

Despite the considerable leniency that is offered to those who attempt to predict the fates of other Aeons (still illegal), the Ten-Lords Commission equates acts of trying to predict Yaoshi's as a crime equal to the Ten Unpardonable Sins. Diviners found guilty of said transgression will be punished strictly- provided they are still alive after committing said crime as those who have tried have all met tragic fates of their own.

Given these factors, there are two possible outcomes that befall Diviners who attempt to predict Yaoshi's fate:

Mental Collapse (Subsequent development of Acute Megalophobia)

Divination is by no means true omniscience. It is a practise of making calculations based on recorded instances of data and the Diviner's ability to map out multiple possibilities based on the movements, logic as well as thought processes from it.

As witnessed in March's story quest, the Matrix of Prescience is used by diviners to draw information from the past to predict the future by literally placing the observing person in said variable scenarios to derive accurate outcomes, albeit heightened by Fuxuan's third eye.

The Matrix actively draws the future it observes from Chaos.

So how does one even begin to calculate and predict the fate of Aeons who fill the skies like celestial bodies? A being that is incomparably huge, move according to their own Path with a transcendent mind? How does one even define chaos of such magnitude?

Both devices as well as the living mind has their limits. To withstand, hold and interpret something of this magnitude is realistically impossible to accomplish without breaking something in the process either by fragmenting of memory or mental collapse in efforts to preserve one's well being ie: amnesia, memory repressing etc.

In such a scenario, it is likely that diviners may experience a similar phenomenon. Their added ability to literally "visualise" observations may also cause the Matrix of Prescience to backfire and create a massive toll mentally. And they could thus develop an accute fear of vastness when bombarded with everything at once (fear of outer space, bodies of water, atmosphere so on so forth). TLDR: A living hellscape they cannot avoid. Resuming divination duties would be impossible with the emotional association, PTSD and trauma. ON TOP of having to be punished for committing what is essentially a crime.

Victim of Parasitism (Eventual Brain Death)

To essentially divine an Aeon's fate is to quite literally observe and visualise oneself walking down their path. While it might seem achievable at first, this places the human psyche in a very tenuous position.

They have to possess a certain level of emotional understanding in order to navigate the accurate steps. When tied with their own cultural complicated feelings towards Yaoshi, it can all form a level of cognitive dissonance and dissociation in order to process things.

With reference to how the "Aeons" in Herta's simulated universe could capture notice of the Trailblazer from his actions, why would this then be a stretch? Especially when the Luofu is a place already filled with Yaoshi's blessings, along with those who actively pay homage to their practises, it is all too easy for the Aeon to take notice of repeated engagement from a certain device.

Diviners who try to place themselves in the mindset of an all too generous Aeon will likely be further poisoning themselves with not only knowledge but also a stronger unfiltered emotional connection with Yaoshi.

With parasitic comparisons of my Yaoshi portrayal, I like to think that the diviners may suffer a similar fate to the ants who have the unfortunate displeasure of crossing the path of the Ophiocordyceps unilateralis.

Once infected by the fungi, ants would often alter their behavioural patterns by searching for areas best suited for fungal growth. They then attach themselves to leaves, remaining there to their deaths from which the fungi spores grow and release from the spores in their head. This is something that has devastated multiple ant colonies.

Similarly for diviners, they will remain unawares to the facts that mara symptoms have begun to develop at an erratic rate within them. In the ensuing days to come, they may experience a radical change in ideology, compelling them to follow down Yaoshi's path or join up with the Disciples of Sanctus Medicus.

Those who fight to retain their own lucidity may experience the soul crushing endeavor of losing their mental faculties periodically, feeling their bodies and mind revolt against them. It is a slow, terrifying and debilitating experience that may cause them to take the only means out rather than give in to Yaoshi. Thus, also succeeding temporarily in accomplishing the Aeon's goal of relieving them from 'suffering'. They cannot escape not even in the end.

#charac: yaoshi #[a lot of people bash divination practises #but this is the very same concept present with strategising as a whole. its not omniscience. its pattern prediction and can be applied #in a lot of things not just spiritually. but in defense tactics etc too.#thats why fuxuan is placed in such a prominent position together w jingyuan during militaristic approaches]#[please take w grain of salt! i just like to think thonks and fling spaghet gbgbg]#brain injury cw #parasitism cw #suicide tw

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