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gucciwins · 2 years

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Public Father

harry promised her family would always come first but what happens we he loses sight of what's important?

Word count: 12523

A/N: hi friends! i feel like it's been forever since i posted but at last here's something new. it's dad harry and i feel that's always a treat except well there is lots of angst mixed in. happy reading!

Warnings: angst, mentions of drinking, small mention of infidelity

please send me a message with your thoughts of the story

Harry has been happily married for six years. He married the love of his life at the age of 24 and now, at 30, still loves her deeply. If anything, his love for her has only grown because she gifted him two perfect children.

Wesley is five and in love with the piano. He got the love from both him and Y/N. While Harry was introduced to the piano later in life, Y/N had begun playing at age three and never stopped. It seems Wes liked it just as much.

Josephine, three years and growing. She refuses to pick up any instrument but is constantly running around with a paintbrush or crayon, ready to write on any blank space (that her mother allows her to).

Life is good. He has a loving wife, two kids, and a dog named Scott because Ant-Man is the children's favorite superhero, and his wife has a lot of love for Paul Rudd. He does as well.

Harry had released a new album and is just coming back from a six-month tour in America, happy to go meet his family at his son's piano recital. He was still private, keeping work and family separate, even more so with his children, never posting their faces online, and any glimpse people did get was just off the back of their heads. He will never jeopardize their privacy, especially because he knows how much it means to Y/N to give them a choice to be in the spotlight or not.

His flight arrived later than planned, but he wasn't worried. His wife was already there, telling him they had to arrive early.

She had to deal with dressing a three-year-old who lived in her paint-dried overalls and getting her son to let her put a bowtie on him for the performance, something he didn't enjoy but knew he needed for the musicians he saw wore them. He wanted to follow in their footsteps and be like them, so Wes let her.

Harry didn't know all his wife struggled with as basically a single parent as she couldn't easily join him on tour for months on end. She didn't want to pull her kids out of the routine they had created. He agreed and told her he'd call and be on a flight home if she ever needed him. Y/N knew how important touring was, but when she called him that both kids were running high fevers, that she was scared and needed him.

He didn't answer.

That was the first crack, with many soon to follow.

She cried and cried and instead called her best friend, Isha, who rushed over and helped her take them to A&E. The doctor gave them medicine, and it reduced the fever. He said she did the right thing bringing them in, especially since they both had a fever that wasn't lowering. She cried on her way home as her children were finally able to drift to sleep.

Harry didn't call back until the following day, saying he was sorry he missed her call, never once mentioning her voice message. She brushed it off and told him she missed him. Y/N let him speak with Wes and Jo, who were bouncing around better than the night before.

She knows he's not the only one to blame, but it's not all on her either. Y/N puts everything into her children. She loves them and always wants them to remember that. She is a full-time employee as a data analyst and is thankful she can bring her work home because she hates leaving Jo with a sitter when she knows the young girl can be shy even if she knows the person. Jo prefers being with her or Harry. Y/N would never push her too far when all Josie wanted was comfort.

Harry rushed into the auditorium of the private primary school. He took hours to convince Y/N for their son to attend. She gave in when he told her they would help him with his piano lessons and that they did. He'd excelled and learned to read the music with practice. It also helped that Y/N would sit with him as he played.

"Hello, love," Harry approaches his wife, giving Y/N a kiss on her cheek and then her lips when she turns her head.

"Hi, you made it," she breathes out, shoulders relaxing.

"Of course, the flight got delayed."

"Where's my munchkin?" Harry asks, peaking at the empty seat where his little girl must be.

"Went to get a snack with Isha. I saved our seats." She offers for him to slide in.

"Got us good ones." They were sitting in the second row, the inner aisles seats for accessible exits if needed to tend to a crying toddler.

"Yes, it pays to come early, I guess."

Harry settles down, brings his wife close to his chest, and breathes her in. He's happy to be home. As much as he loves being on stage, there is nothing better than being with his family, with the love of his life.

"Think Isha can take the kids? I want to show you how much I missed you." Harry playfully nibbles your neck.

Y/N would love that, but her children always come to mind, "promised the kids a dinner at home with their Daddy who they missed."

"Can't argue with that."

"Not opposed to a shower once they go to bed." Y/N throws in, knowing how important reconnecting is for them.

"That's my girl."

Y/N hears small steps down the aisle and turns her head to see her daughter running down. She giggles not too loud to not draw attention to herself until she comes to a stop at the aisle where they are sitting.

"Hi, Mummy." The smile on Jo's face is bright, calling for all the attention to be on her.

"Hello, my gorgeous girl. Got a snack." Y/N points to the closed cookie bag in her hand.

Isha arrives, cool as a breeze, her marron jumpsuit hugging her tightly in all the right places showing off her curves. "She had it already. I think it's kicking in."

"Yes, this is for you, Mummy." Jo hands off the small treat to Y/N.

"Why aren't you the sweetest? Thank you for thinking of me." Y/n leans in, placing a loud kiss on her cheek. Jo's cheeks turned red at the extra affection but never pushed Y/N away.

Isha sits next to Y/N, handing her two waters, where she places them in the cup holders as Jo walks a little farther in to not block the walkway.

"Look who's here, angel?" Y/N brushes Jo's wild curls behind her ears. She peeks over and finds Harry staring at her with a wide grin.

"Hi, my love, missed you." Harry softens his tone, opening his arms, ready for her to rush towards him, but to his surprise, she doesn't.

Jo nods but doesn't move towards him. Instead, she reaches up to be seated in Y/N's lap. Y/N doesn't question her but turns her to face Harry. She rubs a gentle hand down her back, noting how she's grabbing the end of Y/N's dress.

Harry doesn't falter. "Missed you. Thought of you every day. Got some presents for you waiting at home." No reaction. "Do you want to give Daddy a kiss?"

She reaches her arms up towards his face, and Harry thinks she wants him to carry her, but Y/N stops him. "She wants to hold your face, lean down." Harry does as she said. His daughter's tiny hands land on his cheeks, and she gazes into his eyes before a smile takes over her face. They must be wearing matching smiles because, in the next second, she leans forward to place a kiss on his nose. "Daddy."

"That's right, bubba. I'm your, Daddy."

Josie loses interest after that, going for the cookies Y/N opened for herself and Jo because she knows the young girl wouldn't be able to help herself. Harry turns his focus to the stage where a teacher has begun announcements to shut off all noise on electronics and to make sure the flash remains off when taking photos.

Harry was buzzing in his seat to see his son perform. He was proud of Wes and his confidence in embracing his talents, just as his wife did at his age. Pretty soon, he might even follow in Harry's footsteps.

The first few performances went in the blink of an eye as Harry clapped for each one, always trying to see if he could see Wes peeking behind the curtains; he did not. Until finally, it was time. Wes Styles was announced and out walked his son, who had grown taller in the six months he had been away. Facetime is different from seeing his son and his family in person. Harry frowned because that means he didn't get to mark his month's growth against his bedroom door with him as they'd done previously. He brushed over that small fact because he knew Y/N would take care of it, just like she did everything else.

His son glanced at them with a timid smile before looking down at the keys. The stare lingered on his fingers for a second before he took a deep breath and began to play a beautiful melody.

After the short-minute song, Harry, Y/N, and Isha all stood cheering loudly and proudly for Wes. His son waved and did a bow, then rushed backstage as he awaited for the final two students before he could reunite with his family. Harry could not stop squeezing her thigh, proud of their son.

One final time all students come on stage for a final bow and then are dismissed. Y/N set Jo down, allowing her to toddle over to her older brother with the large bouquet of flowers in her hands. Isha made sure to record their hug as Y/N was quick to get overwhelmed with tears. Wes noticed Harry right behind Y/N, and as excited as he was to see his father, his number one person would always be his Y/N. Wes was a total Mummy's boy. Y/N held her son tightly, pressing kisses on his cheeks as Wes basked in the affection.

"Proud of you, angel."

Wes smiles, his dimples on full display. "Thanks for your help, Mumma."

"Always, darling." She presses one last kiss to his face before standing up, allowing Harry to have his turn.

"Hiya bud, you were incredible." Harry gets down to Wes' height, arms wide open, and Wes doesn't wait another second before launching himself in his father's arms. It had been months. Harry missed his kids. He missed being home. He was glad to be back.

"Are you proud?"

Harry brushes back Wes' curls, similar to Harry's when he was that age.

Y/N frowns, overhearing her son's question, while Harry doesn't even think twice about it.

"Extremely." Harry hugs his son one last time before letting him go.

All begin to walk out together, except for Jo, who wants her Mum to hold her. Harry offered to carry her, but Josephine insisted that it be Y/N only. Who was Harry to make his little girl unhappy?

"We'll meet you at home then. Made Wes' favorite dinner to celebrate." Y/N tells Harry as he helps Wes buckle up, and Y/N settles Jo into her seat, a pout on her face.

"Actually, love, I got us a reservation for the kids' favorite pizza place." Harry grins, taking his eyes away from Wes and meeting Y/N's, who cannot help but shake her head because, of course, he did.

"Pizza alright with you, Mr. Pianist?" Y/N looks at Wes, waiting patiently in his seat.

Wes nods eagerly, telling them to get in already.

The drive is smooth with their children filling the car with their singing to the Frozen 2 soundtrack. They can never seem to get enough. It's one of their favorites.

Dinner goes as smoothly as Y/N hoped. There is laughter and conversation constantly flowing. Wes talks Harry's ears off while also speaking with Isha. Jo sticks to her side most of the night, eating from Y/N's plate, not wanting to eat the pizza Harry picked for her. It seemed Jo didn't want to share Y/N with Harry for the night. He didn't mind, not when he knew he'd be getting Y/N all alone later.

As Y/N sees her children beginning to yawn, she knows it is time to head home. One look towards Harry, and he's pressing a kiss to her cheek and going to pay the bill.

"It's nice he's home," Isha comments.

Y/N nods. "I've missed it."

"Let's see how long he's here."

She sighs because as much as she defends Harry, Isha is right. There is no telling how long he is home until the work begins.

"I'll always have you," Y/N squeezes her hand.

"Of course, you will, but I want you to have him as well."

Y/N knows she's right, "I'll speak to him."

"All ready to head out?" Harry asks quietly, seeing that Jo is fighting off sleep.

Y/N leads the way out, carrying Jo looking behind her to see Isha holding Wes's hand, sending a smile. Harry steps forward to get to the door when Y/N stops him seeing a few people loitering outside with cameras in hand.

Paparazzi.

How did they even find him? Jeff had assured Harry and Y/N endlessly that no one knew he had landed back in London.

So much for privacy. Y/N asks Jo softly to cuddle close, placing the blanket she carries in her bag over her head. Isha scoops Wes up and drapes her coat over him. Y/N hates doing this. Her kids are accommodating to this because they've had to do it many times already.

"You can take the back exit," Harry tells her, frowning at the paparazzi.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"Yeah, I'll handle them. Take Isha's car. She still has the seats, right?"

"But Harry–"

Harry shakes his head, "we'll make it home at the same time."

He quickly kisses Y/N's lips, and then she follows the waiter, who was kind enough to show them out while Harry braced the paparazzi on his own.

As Harry catches sight of Isha's car driving away, he walks out with all the focus on him. The camera-ready smile is on as he walks towards his car with them all following along.

"What were you celebrating, Mr. Styles?"

With pride, he answers, looking at the man who asked, "my son had a piano recital tonight and was brilliant."

"Must be really proud," someone else chimed in.

"Hard worker just like me," Harry shared.

Harry lets them ask a few more questions before bedding them goodbye with one final thought. "Last thing I want to say is talented, and I'm proud to call him my boy."

He arrives half an hour later, never stopping to text her that he was not right behind her like he promised. Y/N sighs as she finishes picking up the last few scattered toys Jo managed to miss making into her toy chest when she heard the front door close.

The kids are now both bathed and in bed. Josie was eager for a goodnight kiss from both her parents, but after a fresh shower and Y/N combing her hair, she settled down quickly. Wes was still waiting eagerly in his room, waiting for Harry to give him a kiss goodnight. Storytime used to be Harry and Wes time, but Y/N took over that, and now both enjoyed reading a book with fewer pictures and more words.

Harry walks in quietly, not saying a word.

"Took a while, H."

"Yeah," he murmurs. "They wouldn't leave me alone."

Y/N nods before gesturing up the stairs, "Wes is waiting for a goodnight."

"Leave me the easy part, huh." Harry steps close to her, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. "Thanks, love."

After seeing that downstairs was all tidy, she goes up, ready for her own shower to wash the day away. She passes Josie's room first and sees her deep in sleep, her ducky tight in her hold. Next, Wes' room and knows all is good with the small chatter inside. It's nice to have Harry home.

Y/N's undressing in their bathroom when the door creeps open, and Harry stops to stare. She doesn't mind. She's missed being in his presence.

"Did Wes go down easy?"

"Yes, he did. I asked if he wanted me to read, but he said you got that covered." Harry said a bit accusingly.

Y/N brushes it off, "it gets him settled for bed quicker. You can read tomorrow."

She reaches in to turn the water on, getting the temperature to her liking as much as she wants a bath. She's also dead on her feet.

Harry remembers the conversation they had earlier, watching his wife get her shower ready. He steps up behind her as she's straightening out, his hands resting on her bare hips, "can I still join you?"

"Of course, H."

Harry presses a kiss to her bare shoulder before moving up her neck, "going to let me love on you too,"

Y/N sighs at the kisses he leaves her, leaving her more overwhelmed than the last. All she can do is nod.

"Need an answer, honey."

"Yes, baby, please."

"Is my wife going to let me show her how much I missed her? How appreciative I am of her being a good mother to our children. God baby, so ready to give you everything you need."

"Yes, Harry. Yes."

Her mind is hazy, and all she can think is that she loves him.

"I love you, Harry."

"And I love you, my heart. Now let me show you."

The following morning Y/N is up before everyone else. She knows Josie is an early bird and likes to have breakfast with her while Y/N has her tea. She kisses Harry's forehead and makes her way downstairs with her phone in hand that is flooded with more notifications than usual.

She sighs; it's going to be one of those days.

Harry is found entering an Italian restaurant with a mystery woman but leaves alone, saying he was celebrating his son, but his son or his wife were nowhere in sight.

It's a photo of the back of Isha and Harry holding the door open. Isha looks really good, and though Y/N knows the truth, she hates the speculation of him cheating on her. She hates that media outlets still entertain even when they know they're married and have two children. Y/N knows Harry would never, but it still makes her heartache.

Y/N decides it's best to ignore it and instead enjoy the time together as a family. Wes and Jo have wanted to go to the park, and it seems lovely weather to do so as a family.

Everything would be alright.

It's been a week since Harry arrived home, and Y/N is going crazy.

Truthfully, she's just sad.

She loves Harry. Of course, she does. He's the father of her children, husband, and best friend, but he hasn't been home. He's been gone every night following their park day. It's either a meeting, a dinner, or drinks with old friends. It's spending time with everyone but them. There have been more articles lately about Harry raving about their children and how amazing they are. He speaks of their talents and skills. How Josie loves to paint and mixes colors well to Wes' dedication to practicing piano.

Y/N's least liked piece she's read is in his latest interview, where he spoke of them again when he was asked about his favorite part of being a stay-at-home dad. His response was laughable, "all the time with them to cook, oh and bath time."

Y/N scoffs because it's a load of crap. He's not a stay-at-home dad. He's a public father, only for show but never there for the small things when she needs him. She loves Harry, but he's changed from the man she met, and he now much prefers the limelight to being at home.

It's Friday night, and Harry once again didn't tuck his kids to bed. No bedtime stories or goodnight kisses.

"Why is Daddy always busy, Mummy?" Wes asks as she bookmarks the page they left on to pick up again tomorrow.

She wishes she had an answer. So, she lies. "He's preparing for a long time off."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you more, my sweet Wesley."

Y/N kisses him three times and wishes him sweet dreams.

Wes had shocked her tonight. She never lied to her children, but it seemed like she had to. How could she make Harry the bad guy?

When Y/N settles down for bed and notices Harry hasn't arrived home, she decides she's had enough of this shit Harry is pulling and can only let it go on for so long. In the past, Y/N would have stayed up waiting to make sure Harry got home safe, but her children are her top priority.

Y/N stirs when she hears the front door slam shut. She groans, peeking an eye open to see the time, and it reads 5:14 am. It's clear Harry's drunk with all the tumbling and giggling he's doing up the stairs and into their room. Y/N stays still, not saying a word as he stumbles into bed. He wasn't loud enough to wake the kids, but she knew they would be up soon

By six, she's up, getting ready because between seven, it's time for the kids to wake up. She made them oatmeal with strawberries and blueberries on the side. Y/N walks into Josie's room, knowing she's awake but lays in bed waiting for Y/N because she loves a morning cuddle.

"Morning, my darling angel."

Josie kicks her legs up, laughing, "morning, Mummy."

"How'd you sleep?" Y/N asks as she scoops Josie into her lap and cuddles her close to her chest.

"Good," she mumbles.

"Ready to start the day, little dove?"

"Mhm."

"Want to change first?"

"Yes!"

"What do you want to wear?"

Josie wiggles out of your grasp and lets her feet carry her over to her drawer that holds her socks before moving on to her tops and bottoms. In a few minutes, she's back at Y/N's side, proudly displaying yellow socks, a yellow top, and black overalls.

"Wow, I love it." Y/N kisses her cheek, causing Josie to smile, showing off her dimples.

"Help, please."

Y/N sits her on the bed and helps her take off her nightgown. She blows raspberries onto her tummy, causing Jo to let out loud giggles.

"No accidents last night?" Y/N asks because Josie likes the check-up. She shakes her head no. "Okay, before we buckle, let's go to the restroom and brush your teeth. Sound good?"

"Good." She agrees leading the way.

Y/N kneels down to Josie's height, ensuring she's brushing correctly, helping her when Jo allows her. Once she's all done, Jo clips her overalls, and Y/N stands behind her, beginning to brush her daughter's curls.

"Does Josie want piggies, bunnies, or a braid today?"

Jo thinks about it for a second before showing you two fingers. "Bunnies it is."

Y/N wets her hair, making sure to go gentle, not wanting to hurt Josie. She makes sure not to tie the hair ties too tight. She knows she hated it when her mother did it to her when she was younger.

"All done," Y/N smiles at her through the mirror.

"Yay!" She claps and steps down from her stepping stool slowly, not wanting to fall over.

"Let's go check on your brother."

She nods eagerly, slips on her bunny slippers, and heads next door to Wes' room.

"Daddy?" She asks.

Y/N frowns, "he's not feeling well. He's sleeping."

"Okay."

And that's that.

They walk in to see Wes laying his clothes on his bed.

"Wes!" Jo shouts, running to hug her brother as if she hadn't seen him for months when it was only a few hours as they all slept.

"Hi, Jo. Morning Mummy." He grins at them both.

"Good morning, my love." Y/N gives his brushed hair a kiss. "Restroom all done."

"Yes. Teeth check," Wes says before she can ask and opens his mouth for her.

She leans down, chuckling, "smells fruity."

Wes nods proudly.

"Now," Y/N smiles, looking at her two children, the joy of her life. "It's time for kisses."

Y/N grabs them, bringing them close to her chest as she kisses them all over. Their laughter fills her heart.

"Alright, alright, breakfast time."

She decides she doesn't want to be home while Harry sleeps off his drunkenness and decides to take them to the park. It's a good place for the children to run to their heart's content but still tire them out for nap time. As soon as they get home, the kids know the routine, take their shoes off by their door, and race to their rooms to get a chance of clothes to not spend more time in their sweaty clothes while she prepares lunch.

The day is perfect. It's just them. For some time, it felt like when Harry was on tour and not home, they'd wait for his call, except he is here, and she's not sure how to feel.

The kids are lying on the patio sharing a coloring book as Wes tries his best to teach Josie to stay within the lines, but she doesn't like being told what to do, only wanting to add more to the drawing. She hears the shower going and knows Harry is up.

Y/N squares her shoulders, ready to tell Harry exactly how she feels because she's tired. She feels like she's raising two kids alone. It was nice the first years with Wes because Harry took the first two years off, not wanting to miss anything, and then he worked for a year where they all traveled with him. It was beautiful getting to show their baby the world. But then she found out she was pregnant, and Wes was starting school, and all she wanted was a routine for Josie like she had for Wes, but Harry was running on a high.

Harry was winning awards, streams were high, his songs were breaking records on the charts, and he wasn't ready for another pause. It wasn't until she was five months pregnant that he took a break to be there for her. Now Josie is three, and she doesn't know her father that well, always wondering who that man on the screen is. It leads to tears when Jo doesn't want to talk to him. Their kids need their father, and she wishes he could put out music and continue his career, but he loves being on stage, and she fears if she asks him to stay home, it won't be enough. That they won't be enough.

Harry walks down the stairs looking tired.

"Hi, love."

She stays quiet.

"Had a late night, everyone sends their love."

She frowns, not even sure who everyone is.

"Should go out together soon. Get Isha to watch the kids."

"She's on a work trip," Y/N responds softly.

"Well," he shrugs, "bet you know loads of people to help."

Her frown deepens because she notices he says she knows, not that he knows anyone.

"Harry."

"Yeah?”

Harry sits down unconcerned, like he didn't arrive early this morning.

"I can't do this," she tells him.

"Do what?" Harry asks, confused.

"Watch you go out every night and leave me as the housewife to watch the kids."

"Y/N–"

"No, Harry, I'm serious. You came home after a six-month-long tour and spent only around four hours put together with them this past week." Y/N isn't fighting for herself but for her children.

"I'm catching up with friends," he defends.

She scoffs, "catching up is a few hours not coming home pissed drunk at five am stumbling up the stairs with no care if you might wake your kids."

Harry frowns, "I deserve time off."

"Of course, you do, but there's no time off from being a dad. Harry, I work full time. I make breakfast, lunch and dinner. I take them to their practices and pick them up from school. I'm doing it all, alone. Our three-year-old is growing fast, and she doesn't recognize her dad most of the time."

"Ain't that disappointing," he laughs bitterly. "Y/N, that's on you. Not forcing her to talk to me."

Y/N feels her heart crack, this is unbelievable.

"Do you hear yourself? Force her." She shakes her head, ensuring her voice stays level to not alert the kids. "If she doesn't want to, I won't make her. It's your job as her father to be here for her."

"I am here."

"Here for what?" She points to him, "here in the flesh, sure but not doing any work."

"I'm here, and I do my part," he argues.

"What have you done?"

She waits for him to answer. A few seconds, a minute, and nothing but silence follows.

"You're just a public father," she spats out.

"What?"

"Praise all the good things your children do, all the raising you do. The stay-at-home father bit. Show up to recitals and parent conferences. It's all an act. To look good in the public eye. You're not the father who takes time to bathe his kids, to do teatime, or read them story after story. You're not the father they go to when they have a bad dream, not the father who sneaks them a treat when I'm cooking dinner. You're here, but you aren't. They need a private father who is there during bath time and tucks them to bed. Who would rather stay in and watch a movie than go out for dinner with friends and come home after six drinks at the bar? A father who listens to the same music over and over again. No, you prefer to be the public father who does no wrong and happily brags about his child's accomplishments. The man who sends them to private school and pays for this expensive house you choose for us to live in. As if you take them to their lessons, who deal with fevers, who deal with tantrums and having to tell them why their dad has left them yet again." Y/N wipes the tears that escaped her, her voice trailing off.

"I love you, but I don't love the man you've become. I want the father who woke up every hour to check up on our babies, the father who held my hand as I breastfed our babies for the first time. I want the father who promised to always put them first. To put us first. It's not even about me. It's about them and how they are beginning to feel like they are being raised by only one parent."

"I–I" Harry doesn't even have words because she's right.

Of course, she is.

He's failed them.

He failed them as a parent, but he's also failed as a husband.

Y/n told him she didn't want to become a housewife who just cared for her children and lost herself, but it's close to who she's becoming while still working.

Why didn't he stop the tour?

Why didn't he think about asking how they all felt about him leaving for so long with not one visit?

He missed lessons and jokes. He missed his son playing footy for the first time because he was always so anxious about it. His little girl had to take moments to remember his face. His wife–is hanging by a thread, and he's sure if it wasn't for their two kids, she wouldn't be here anymore, waiting for him.

"We are going to stay with my mum." She declares no room for argument.

"Love," Harry tries, but she shakes her head, stepping away from him.

"I love you, but it feels like you may not have the same love for us. I'm not saying it's us or touring, not at all. I know it means everything to you, but that changed five years ago. At least my priorities did. Yours should have to."

She goes towards the stairs to pack a weekend bag for the kids. "You need to figure out how to be a better father and not just a rockstar because you're both."

Harry watches her go up the stairs, knowing he has to let her go.

Y/N walks into Jo's room first, knowing hers would be the quickest to pack, knowing what she prefers. It's all set, and Y/N carries it into Wes' room, where he's lying on his bed with Josie as they look at picture books.

She grabs his Ant-man backpack and begins to get socks and underwear first. "What are you doing, Mummy?"

"Going on a little weekend trip," she answers softly.

"With dad?"

Y/N shakes her head, walking over to him. She smiles down at him, pressing a kiss to his head. "No, he's got some meetings, but he'll…" she pauses, "he'll be here when we get back."

Wes nods as if knowing there's a problem between his parents, "want to choose your clothes, lovie, or still have some faith in me."

"You can do it," Wes mutters. It breaks Y/N’s heart.

Once she has packed Wes's bag, she ushers them downstairs to put on their coats and shoes. Harry is sitting on the couch staring at a black screen.

Y/N sighs, "I'll let you know when we arrive."

"Y/N?"

She looks at him. He's now standing in the doorway, smiling sadly at his kids as Wes helps Jo zip her boots.

"You will come back, right?" His voice was small as if afraid of the answer.

"Of course, Harry. Still got a lot to figure out together, but you need to figure some things on your own."

"You still love me," he whispers as if he said it any louder. She'd tell him something that'd break his heart.

"With all my heart. I promised forever with you, and I'm holding tight to that, but I need you to find your way back to us." Y/N kisses his cheek before stepping back and grabbing the car keys.

Y/N watches as Harry kisses his children, giving them a big squeeze before letting them go. "Have a nice time, my angels."

They giggle and nod. They hold hands as Harry opens the door for them, waiting by the steps for Y/N to guide them down.

Y/N smiles at him, it's small, and it breaks his heart.

"I love you. I love you, and I promise I will try my best. I can't lose you." Harry promises her.

"You won't. Just give us the weekend, and we can go from there."

"I'd give you all in the time in the world if the end result was you all in my arms again."

"Can I kiss you?"

She nods timidly.

It's short and feels almost new. He doesn't try to deepen it but allows himself to feel her lips on his and how he ever let himself go so long without them. They break apart, hearing their children's laughter.

"At least they're not grossed out." She points out.

Y/N picks up Josie and holds Wes' hand down the steps. She settles Josie in her car seat first, then sits Wes in the booster. She gets into the car and does not look back at Harry as she drives off. She feels sad but also proud of herself because she and her children deserve better.

Y/N knows the route to her mother's like the back of her hand. It isn't until she passes the usual exit does she realize that's not where she wants to be. They've got a bit of a drive ahead. She makes a Bluetooth call hoping for an answer, and thankfully she gets it. It's a short call but knowing she will be welcomed with open arms always fills her with joy.

The drive didn't feel long, maybe because of the endless music they had playing. Thankfully they only have to make two stops before arriving. Y/N pulls into the driveway, relieved when she sees the porch light lit up. She turns the engine off and sees Wes fighting sleep as he unbuckles himself but waits for her to go to his side. Y/N goes to Josie's side first as she's in a deep sleep putting her on her shoulder and bags on the other. Opening Wes' dooring, he gets down with her help and then takes the bags from her. Her ever helpful boy.

She lets Wes knock on the door, and a few seconds later, it opens to show her a similar smile she just left behind.

"Nana!"

"Hi, my darling Wes," she cheers.

Anne Twist is one of her favorite people in her life.

Y/N loves her mother, but she's never felt so welcomed and loved as much as she does with her mother-in-law.

"Hi Anne," Y/N greets softly.

"Well, come in, sweetie," Anne moves from the door to let you in. "Don't go acting like a stranger now."

Y/N chuckles and walks in right behind Wes, who makes sure to take his shoes off before running in, setting his and Josie's bag right next to the couch.

"Are there bags in the car?"

"Just mine. I'll go for it once I set her down." Y/N gestures to Josie.

"Don't be silly. I've got it. You go on and set her down in Harry's room. We both know they like sleeping there when they visit."

"Thank you, Anne."

"Nothing to thank, dear."

Y/N moves up the steps slowly before entering the familiar room. She lays Josie down, removing her overalls and tucking her in under the covers, making a border with the pillows, not wanting her to roll off the bed. Jo doesn't even flinch as she fixes the blanket around her.

She pulls her phone out, knowing she owes Harry a text.

We made it. Had a few stops to make in between xxx

Y/N

Okay. I love you xxx

It hurts to leave him on read, but she does. He knows she loves him but needs the space. As Y/N starts getting lost in thought, Wes and Anne make their presence known.

"This strong man helped me with the bags," Anne tells her as she sets the bag down by the door.

"Very kind of you, Wes, thank you."

"Always help like you say, Mummy."

Y/N smiles while taking the bags from Wes, "that's right, we help when we can."

"Want some tea, Y/N?" Anne asks as she's unpacking Wes's pajamas.

"If it's not a bother."

"Y/N," Anne chastises in her motherly tone, one Y/N recognizes as one she does to her children.

She sighs, "I'm sorry. I'd love tea."

"Good."

As she's about to walk out, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Anne doesn't know what it is, but she clearly knows it has to do with her son.

"When I get them to bed."

Anne understands. "Do you want some help?"

She shakes her head, "no, just need to get him changed and in bed, and he'll be out for the night."

Wes is fighting sleep. All his movements lagged no. Jo has not moved one bit, and Y/N knows once Wes settles, he'll be out for the entire night.

Before Anne leaves the room, she pulls Y/N in for a hug. "I love you, don't forget it. Not because you gave me grandchildren or because you married my son but because I love the person I met all those years ago and the person you've become."

"Thank you, Anne. I love you too."

Y/N helps Wes get ready for bed, sitting with him in the restroom as he brushes his teeth and puts away his dirty clothes with Jo's. She apologizes to him for not having a book to read tonight, but he's too tired to be concerned about a book.

As she tucks him in under the covers next to Jo, he scoots close to her. It's a perfect picture moment. Seeing her babies cuddled close always fills her with so much love.

"I'll take care of Jo," Wes promises.

"I'll be sleeping right across if you need me."

He nods, letting his eyes flutter closed, drifting off to sleep as she plays with his hair. He loves it just as much as Harry does.

Y/N walks down and sees her tea done just how she likes it waiting for her. She takes a sip humming at the taste. No one makes it as good as Anne. "Thank you."

"Course, sweetheart."

They sit in silence for a moment.

"Nice drive?" Anne asks.

"Yes, it was. You know we enjoy the drive up to visit you."

"Reckon, you can't do it enough with those kiddos."

"It's endless potty breaks," Y/N jokes.

Small conversation flows as they drink their tea. Once they finish, Y/N rinses both mugs and sets them in the dishwasher, knowing Anne's preferred method. Y/N follows Anne to the living room sitting close to the edge as she drapes the warm blanket over herself. It's one she always uses when she comes down for a visit.

"I love Harry. With all my heart," Y/N begins, "I married him, but–"

"Oh honey, what did he do?"

Y/N sighs, "it's like he's not even there for us when he's home—well, for them. The kids miss him and always ask for him, but it's like he's still on the road when he's here."

"He doesn't spend time with them."

"Think the last time he spent hours with us was when he arrived for Wes' recital." Y/N keeps letting it all out now that she finally feels she has the chance to speak with someone who's listening. "I told him all this before leaving; he needed to figure out all his stuff and what kind of father he wanted to be and that we'd talk on Monday when we returned."

"That's good. Time apart."

"It's not like we need more of it, I know," she defends, "but I needed it."

Anne reaches out and squeezes her hand tightly.

"I love my Wes and Jo with all my heart, but I also miss my husband. I miss sneaking kisses, holding hands, and even staying up late on the couch talking for hours. I miss falling in love with Harry every day, and it's like he doesn't miss me, doesn't miss us. It's as if we're just a stop before his next big trip."

Y/N sees Anne's smile falter, "oh darling, I know he loves you."

"I don't doubt that, but he's constantly putting his career before us. Six months away, Jo isn't comfortable being alone with him for longer than ten minutes."

"I'm sorry it's been so hard."

Y/N feels she has said too much, "I'm sorry to pour this on you. He's your son."

Anne tuts, shaking her head. "And you're my daughter. Maybe not by blood, but I love you like a daughter, and you've given me more bundle of joys to love."

"Do–do you think he'll figure it out for us?" Y/N has never been so nervous for an answer.

"I hope so. If I know my son, he can get lost, but a slap on the head always sets him back on track. I think you've done just that."

Y/N feels a little relieved. "Get some rest. Sleep in if you can. I promise I got the kids."

"I don't know if I can."

Anne laughs, "you will."

Y/N checks in on her babies one last time before heading to bed. As soon as her head hits the pillow, she's out like a light.

She wakes up to distant laughter and knows it's time to get up. She checks her phone and sees it's ten am. She can't remember the last time she slept in that late.

Seeing as her kids are occupied with their Nana, she takes advantage and takes a long shower, washing all of yesterday away. She prepares for the cold air she knows will hit her once she steps out to Anne's large garden to greet her children.

Y/N lingers in the kitchen as she finishes her tea before stepping out. The creek in the door alerts them all to her presence. She waves at them as they come bounding towards her with giant grins. Y/N doesn't think twice, sinking to the floor, arms wide open to take Jo and Wes in her embrace.

"Hi, my angels."

"Mummy was a sleepy head."

Y/N can hear Anne giggling as she steps closer. "That I was. I needed to get my energy fueled if I want to keep up with you too."

"Yay!" Josie cheers right by Y/N's ear.

"What did you do this morning with Nana Anne?"

"A walk!" Josie yells.

"There was lots of grass," Wes comments.

"Yeah, I bet. Daddy knows how much Nana loves being out in the open."

"I like it here," Wes exclaims, returning to the grass and spinning around in circles.

"Me too," Josie says, copying her older brother's movements.

Y/N leans her head back, taking in the small bit of sunlight peeking through the clouds. I do as well, Y/N thinks to herself.

Anne beams at Y/N, glad that her grandchildren are happy here because she wants them to know they always have a place here, a safe space. Y/N has continuously shown that to them.

"Darling?" Y/N turns her head away from her giggling children to look at Anne, "does he know you're here?"

She grimaces and shakes her head no. "I was originally taking us to my mother's but realized three exits too late that wasn't where I was headed."

Anne signals she understands. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too."

Saturday comes and goes all too quickly. The kids were so spent they didn't put up a fight to be told it was bedtime. Anne had graciously found some children's books she had buried away so that Y/N could read to the kids before they went to bed. Y/N read to Jo and Wes as they cuddled close, hands tucked under their chin as they let their mother's soothing voice lull them to sleep.

Y/N sits in the living room drinking her tea, discussing tomorrow's plans before heading up. As she finishes her tea, she goes to the kitchen to wash her mug when she hears the front door open.

"Anne?" Y/N calls out softly.

She walks out and sees Anne at the bottom of the steps, also curious as to who could be at the door.

"Mum," she knows that voice well. It sends chills through her body and makes her cheeks warm up.

"Harry," Anne responds.

"We need to talk, Mum," Harry says in a defeated voice.

Y/N looks at Anne and gives her two options to head upstairs, and she'll tell Harry that they're here or let Anne do it. Harry must have noticed an extra car in the driveway, as cowardly as she wants to be.

She nods, following behind Anne.

"Mum," he pulls her in for a hug, sighing in relief. Y/N holds her breath when he lifts his head and sees her. "Y/N," he gasps.

"Hi, H."

"Thought you were at your mum's." He steps away from Anne and towards you.

She shrugs, "needed a bit more love than that."

Harry understands what she means because he's here as well. He knows best how well Anne makes someone feel welcomed and safe.

"I'm going to bed." Y/N kisses Anne's cheek, whispering a good night. She passes by Harry squeezing his shoulder, "kids are in your room if you want to see them."

Harry feels his chest hurt. Of course, he wants to see his children. He also wants to follow Y/N to bed and hold her close. He wants to tell her he promises that he's going to do better. He spoke with Jeff and told him there would be no tours for a while and that albums might follow, but his focus is on his family. Jeff understood, he was shocked at first, but everyone stood behind him.

But instead of saying anything, he lets her go up, watching her every step until she's down the hall. Anne sighs as she sees Harry stare at Y/N longingly, the same look he had when he first brought her over when they had been dating only a few months.

"My boy," Anne's voice was full of sympathy.

"Mum," his voice cracks, "I messed up, and I–I might lose them."

"Course you won't. You showed up, didn't you? That's something." She assures him.

"I love her and my angels. I can't lose them. I won't survive it."

"Then fight Harry, prove to her you can't live without them."

"I will."

The following day Y/N is up early, to no surprise, ready to help get her kids' day started. As she starts to get up, she goes to grab her phone but stops when she sees a note sitting right on top.

Morning early bird,

Fancy a walk? Mum promised to watch Wes and Jo.

Love, H

Y/N can't ignore the flutter in her heart and gets dressed in her large red coat Harry gifted her five Christmases ago when he saw her eyeing it at the shops but didn't have the heart to tell him because it was way above the price range they settled on for each other. There's a chance of snow, and she wants to be prepared.

She checks in on Jo and Wes, sprawled wide on the twin-sized bed, limps over each other but neither bothered. Walking down the steps, she sees Harry sitting on the couch with a book in hand.

"Morning," she voices.

Harry is quick to set his book down and stands to look at her. "Hi, love." His eyes roam her from top to bottom, and she can feel the familiar heat on her cheeks, knowing what he'll say next, so she stops him.

"Got your note."

"Are you up for it?"

She nods, "I am."

"Do you want to eat first?" Y/N agrees, already stepping that way when Harry joins. "Can make you some eggs?"

"Tea and toast will be fine."

After a quiet breakfast, they both slip on their boots and head out, not before leaving a note for Anne that they'll be back soon. They begin the walk side by side with a small gap in between. Both are distracted, trying their best to get their thoughts in order. Y/N isn't sure how much they've walked when Harry speaks up.

"Love,"

Y/N stays silent.

"I'm sorry." She lets him go on. "I–I don't know how I let myself get blind, but I'm sorry."

She lets that sink in. He's acknowledging that he's been lost in his own world. That's a start.

"I won't be announcing a new tour," Harry tells her. "Maybe not for a while."

"But you love being on stage."

"Y/N,"

She hears the change in his voice and halts her walking.

"You're the love of my life, my heart. With our children is where I should be. I guess getting lost in shows was easier than knowing you all couldn't be there with me." The confession is enough to put Y/N at ease, but it doesn't solve everything.

"We need to find common ground, Harry."

"I know." Harry pauses, looking out at the river they walked along for the first time many years ago, then turns back to Y/N, locking eyes with her. "That's why I'm taking a break."

"And when you decide to go off again?"

"We'll talk."

"Like we did before," she throws back because she's heard this promise and has difficulty believing it.

"I know it's all mostly my fault, but you didn't say much."

Y/N knows he's right, but he's not the one who stayed behind. "What could I do? I had to put them first. I always do. I always will."

"I'm not–"

"You were across the world, and they needed a strong mother, and if I brought it up and it didn't go my way, I would have broken." The tears are begging to come out, but she holds them in.

"Didn't I tell you if you needed me, I was a plane ride away."

That's what breaks the dam.

Y/N grows silent, letting her sobs fill the air. Harry is too nervous to touch her in case she doesn't want his touch.

"I did that," she whispers.

"What?"

She shrugs, "I don't know where you were, but both kids had fevers, and it was so hard. I called you. I had no answer. I tried again and again, and nothing. I left a voicemail, and nothing. I reached out to Jeff, and no one would answer me. Maybe you were sleeping or in between travels or whatever, but something broke in me that day because I had to rely on a friend to take my children and me to the hospital and had their support but not my husband's."

That's when Y/N sees Harry's tears fall, and they're endless. She knows he must be imagining two crying babies and a panicked mother needing someone by her side assuring her they'd get through it. Yet, she had no one.

"I didn't know," he sobs. "Why didn't you bring it up?"

"Because you rang the following morning cheery like you never saw the voicemail, I figured you'd bring it up if you heard the voicemails and saw the missed calls."

"I'm the worst."

Y/N shrugs, not denying it, instead turning back towards the house.

"Don't want to keep walking?"

"No," she replies honestly.

"I have faith in us," he tells her, brushing his pinky with hers.

"I do too."

Harry lets out a deep sigh. It's a step forward.

"But this isn't about just me, Harry."

And he knows that. He knows he has much to make up to his angels, Wes and Josie.

"I know our kids. You know I love them."

"I do…but they don't. At least not always. They don't understand why their dad is always gone or doesn't pick them up at the school gates or daycare on the odd day she goes."

It's the little things he's missed out on that they miss as well. "Will you help me?" Before she can answer, he continues. "I know I don't deserve your help, but you're my forever."

"Okay, H."

That's the end of the conversation. It seems as if they've reached the house. Harry opens the door helping Y/N out of her coat and lining up her boots with his. Y/N walks into the kitchen first, seeing Anne making breakfast. The kids immediately notice her letting out a loud "Good morning" as they munch on their berries.

Wes smiles as she presses a kiss on his cheek, but it dims when he takes a look at her face and then at Harry, who is right behind her. That's odd, Y/N thinks. She turns to ask Harry, but it seems that Harry doesn't even notice. He's wishing them a good morning leaving endless kisses on both cheeks. Harry helps Josie eat her berries, giggling as he pretends to miss her mouth.

"Mummy," Josie calls for her attention.

"Yes, my love." Y/N steps close, bushing her curls back away from her eyes.

"Itch," she mumbles.

Y/N fails to hold back a laugh, "who darling?"

She pouts, looking at her brother for help.

"Michal, Mummy." He answers like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Y/N lets out a small laugh because, of course, she's asking for Michal. Every time they made a trip up here, Gemma and Michal also made a stop. It seems Jo wanted to see one of her favorite people.

"He's not here. Why don't we give him a call, huh?"

The siblings cheer, coming to sit on her lap, and she holds the phone up to her ear, waiting for the person to answer.

Harry steps away from the hurt, not knowing who his family is referring. He feels a hand settle on his back, rubbing it in circles, soothing him just a little. "Michal, your sister's partner, relax."

"I thought–" He doesn't know what he thought.

Anne frowns, "if you thought that, then there is lots to figure out." She gestures to Y/N, laughing with her children as they speak to Michael on the phone. "You're that woman's world."

"I didn't think she was."

"Didn't you?"

"I-I don't know how I messed it all up."

"Lack of communication possible," Anne offers because she knows it's something she always dealt with when he left home all those years ago.

"Anne, Gem, and Michal are coming for lunch to spend time with the kids."

Anne claps her hands together out of joy, "wonderful, all my favorite people coming together."

"You don't mind if Harry and I step out for the afternoon when they arrive, do you?" Y/N asks, knowing Harry and her still have a bit to talk through.

"Not at all."

Harry gazes at her curiously. What is she up to? "Love,"

"Need some privacy to chat." She tells him.

She's right, but now he wonders what she has planned.

After breakfast, Harry goes up with Wes to help him change and wash up while Y/N helps Josie as she was asking for two braids in her now long hair. As Wes leads the way to Harry’s old room, he’s quiet, and it’s concerning.

“You alright, bub?” Harry asks as he shuts the door to give them privacy.

Wes shakes his head, not able to meet Harry’s gaze.

“Want to talk about it?”

Wes takes off his top and slips on a white undershirt and then the sweater Harry knows Y/N laid out for him, knowing he’ll want to go outside and keep him warm.

“You make mummy sad,” he mumbles, but Harry hears him clearly.

Harry flinches at his five-year-old son’s words. It’s sad because his son has been able to notice something he hasn’t.

“What?” Harry sinks down to his knees right in front of Wes.

“You make her cry. I hear her sometimes.” He shrugs, and Harry knows he’s failed them.

“When?”

“Few times.”

He’s not specific. It’s more than once, and Harry realizes it’s all his fault his family doesn’t trust him to stay.

“I love your Mummy,” Harry tells Wes, needing his son to believe him.

Wes frowns, looking down at Harry, “Mummy says we don’t make those we love cry.”

Harry tries his best to blink away his tears, “your mummy is right.” He exhales slowly. “I guess it’s because I’m never home. Does that make you sad?”

Wes nods quickly, “but I have to be strong like Mummy for Jo.”

Harry feels that, like a stab straight to the heart, he doesn’t deserve his perfect family. Not one bit, but he’s going to give it everything he has to make it up to them.

“Oh, my sweet boy, I’m so sorry. I love your Mummy and you and Josie. You’re my life, and I promise to never make her cry again.” Wes nods as if taking in all his words. “I’m not leaving for a long time, and if I do, you will all come with me.”

Wes pouts, “I like school.”

Harry laughs. “Course you do. Mummy says you’re doing brilliant. We’ll go in the summer, do a proper holiday together.”

“Together, good.”

Wes runs out of the room, leaving Harry to cry alone in his old bedroom. He has to fix it. He has so much to make up for.

Harry spends the morning playing blocks with Wes and Josie as Y/N colors in one of Josie's dinosaur books, where she'll occasionally leave Harry to give Y/N a new color or change the page for her. It's a lovely time of aimless talking and spending time with his favorite people. At one point, his mum steals Wes to help her bake cookies that they'll be able to eat after lunch. Soon after, Josie falls asleep on Y/N's lap as she watches Zootopia, a film that Harry remembers seeing multiple times with Wes. Curse child movies for making him more emotional now as a father.

The day moves at a faster pace when he's having fun, it seems, because the next thing he knows, Gemma and Michal are walking through the door, and she's shouting for her nephew and niece to come greet her. Josie, having woken up around ten minutes ago, stumbles her way to the door and into Michal's open arms. He's quick to prop her on his hip as Josie tells him all about the dream she had. Gemma has all of Wes' attention as he goes on and on about all the backyard's open space as if their home doesn't have twice the distance. Wes says it's because they have cats.

Y/N and Harry share a look at the same time, something that hadn't happened in a long time. They're both thinking the same thing and know that it might be a nice gift to get them a cat for the holidays. It'll be an excellent addition to the family, giving Scott a new friend to play with. They all eat lunch together, and it's loud, and everyone is talking over each other, mainly Wes and Jo, but Harry swears he's never been happier. The smile on Y/N's face is one he wants her to have every day going forward.

Jo sits in Michal's lap, claiming him as her person for the day, not that he minds. He's a natural with her. After seeing that both her children will be fine, Y/N begins to gather her stuff gesturing for Harry to say his goodbyes and meet her by the door. Y/N gives Josie a big hug and endless kisses before settling her back next to Michal as they do a puzzle together. She lingers a moment too long with Wes whispering before he wraps his arms around her neck in a tight hug that she returns. Y/N smiles at him as she goes to put on his coat. Harry kisses Jo telling her he loves her before heading to Wes.

"Love you, Wes."

"Take care of Mummy, Daddy."

"Always, bub."

He smiles, letting Harry place a kiss on his cheek.

Going outside, he sees Y/N in the car, adjusting the heat as she waits for him. Once she sees him buckle in his seatbelt, she pulls out, and off they go. He has no clue where she might be taking him, even if he does know the town well. They sit in comfortable silence, with no music playing or small talk. It's like old times when they were able to just enjoy sitting together.

The drive couldn't have been longer than fifteen minutes when she pulls over and sees a frozen pond. Harry chuckles. He was not at all prepared for this.

"I have ice skates if you're up for it?"

"Is the ice good?" He wouldn't dare let her skate with the slight chance the ice may crack.

"Mr. Crane promises it'll hold. He says he has been coming out to check it every morning."

With that assurance, he agrees.

Once the skates are on, his skates feel a bit snug, as if his shoes shrunk, but it means better stability. Lessening the slight fear of tumbling over with nothing to hold him up. Both stay right by each other's side, going slow. They take a few laps testing the ice before gaining more confidence to go faster and a bit further.

"Let's play a game," Y/N suggests.

"A game?" He repeats.

"Mhm."

"Okay, sure."

Y/N grins at him, and he feels his heart speed up at the sight. It's a marvelous one.

"Tell me a time you were happy, and I'll counter it with a time when I was sad. Then we'll swap."

Harry isn't sure, "are you sure it's a good game?"

Y/N shrugs, "I'm filled with both. Six months was a long time apart."

Harry relents, as always, what Y/N wants, she gets.

She waits for him to start.

"The recital. It was amazing to see how much Wes has improved."

"I cried last night. I wasn't expecting you to arrive."

Harry takes a deep breath, "the drive here was quiet even with your favorite playlist on."

"Mornings where Jo and Wes climb into bed with me," she answers easily.

"I don't think our kids like me," Harry says softly.

Y/N stumbles but rightens herself, not having expected him to say that. He shakes his head, telling her to go on. "Painting with Jo is always fun. She thinks I'm the best artist to ever exist in her eyes."

Harry nods along as if agreeing. "Seeing how happy my mum makes our kids."

The game goes on for a while, back and forth. Y/N tells him about all the best moments he's missed, like when Josie learned to jump rope when Wes scored his first goal and how she loves hosting game nights. She also told him that it's hard to find time for herself to not feel overwhelmed, that when their kids cry, she feels like a terrible parent and wishes he was home more. While Harry expressed happy moments on tour when Mitch and him wrote a new song, countered with uncomfortable nights sleeping in the studio. Harry talks about how tour made him realize all those moments weren't his happiest.

It's Harry's turn once more. He pauses to think and then says something that has been playing on loop in his mind. "Our son thinking, I make you sad."

Y/N stops skating; he keeps going for a moment, thinking she'll continue in a second instead. She crumbles to the ground crying into her hands.

"Hey, love, lovie, you're okay," he sinks down next to her, rubbing down her arms.

"He's so small," she manages to say between sobs.

"It's all my fault." Harry reminds her.

"No, I–I'm supposed to be his mum. I'm supposed to be strong for him, and I haven't been." Y/N has never felt pain like this like she's letting down her children.

That she's failed them.

"No, you're not supposed to hide like that. Parenting is a partnership, and you've done it alone for too long," Harry tells her, moving her hands away from her face to have her look at him. "It's my fault. Do you understand?"

She doesn't move an inch, but looking into her eyes, he knows she understands.

"I love you, Y/N. I do, and I will for the rest of my life, that I can promise you."

"But–"

"Zero buts."

"What about your career?"

"We'll decide together. I'm a free man until March when we decide to resign or change up my contract."

"Then you leave," she states.

"Not anymore." Y/N looks away, not believing a word he says, and that's on him for making her doubt him. Now it's his turn to prove to her he's on her team, that he's on her side.

"Every decision I make, you'll be there," he promises.

"You can't not work then…then you'll resent us. You'll resent me," she whispers.

"I could never," his voice was firm and full of assurance. "Best thing to ever happen to me." Y/N looks into his eyes, trying to find any hint of a lie to make her second guess her choice. She sees the tear streaks down his cheeks and knows he's being genuine. "Jeff knows you're first."

"Then what's your plan?"

"Tour during summer when our kids aren't in school. Easier for you to join me if you'd be up for it, of course."

"Summer?"

"Three to four months, nothing longer than that," he explains. "School year, I'm yours. Full-time stay-at-home-dad."

"Would that make you happy?"

"You make me happy," he leans his forehead against hers, letting their breaths mix together, "I've prevented myself from that."

Y/N takes in all he's said. There are a lot of promises he just laid out, but each one sounds realistic and double. She believes in him and their love.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I trust you, H."

"I'm hoping to earn more of that trust back little by little, my heart. I'm okay with graveling if I have to."

Y/N rolls her eyes because he's unbelievable. Yet, she loves him with everything she has.

"Come on, you goober. Let's go see our kids."

As Harry accepts the hand, she stretched out for him, he grabs it but instead of pulling himself up, he pulls her towards him, sending them to lay flat on the ice and her on his chest, his arms secure around her waist. Her laughs bubble around them, and he can't help but join in.

"I love you, my heart. I promise it will all be different," he vows to her.

"I love you, Harry. I believe you." She presses herself closer against him. "But anything other than what you promised, and things will not be this easy."

"Not going to let that happen."

"Good."

Y/N isn't sure who closed the gap if it was her or Harry, but all she knows is that kissing Harry is like coming home. It's a warm feeling that spreads all over. It's a safety blanket.

It's falling in love all over again. She can't wait to fall in love with him for a lifetime.

The drive back to Anne's Y/N let Harry take the wheel even if it was a short drive as opposed to when they left; it was quiet, and the hum of the radio. Now it was flowing conversation and light teasing happening.

Harry opens the door with a loud "we're back" Y/N and Harry share a look when they can hear the loud patter of footsteps getting closer and closer until they're a few feet in front of them. Jo and Wes see them, and Y/N and Harry kneel to get their kids' height. Both children focus their energy on running straight to Y/N, and if it were anyone else, it would have sent them tumbling back, but Y/N stands as strong as a pillar.

"Hi, my babies. Were you good?" Y/N asks as she places a kiss on both their cheeks.

"Yes" and "Always" were the two answers given. They release Y/N to hug Harry, one he basks in and squeezes a bit too tight as Wes and Jo squirm to be released.

Wes returns to Y/N, placing his small palm on her cheek, "you happy, Mummy?"

Y/N feels tears well up but does her best to fight them off. Wes has always been in tune with Y/N's emotions and hopes she never has to put them in a position like this again.

"The happiest," she assures Wes."

"Good." Wes gives them both a big smile before running off.

"Up, Daddy?" Josie voices, surprising Harry.

"Of course, angel." He lifts her in his arms with ease standing up with her, hoping Jo never asks to be let down.

Jo frowns while in his arms, "cold jack."

Harry looks down at his coat, seeing as he didn't have time to remove it, "my apologies, princess."

He passes her off for Y/N to hold for a moment when Jo brings her hands up to squish Y/N's cheeks, landing a kiss on her lips. Y/N giggles loving how affectionate Josie has always been.

"Hey, my lips," Harry jokes with his daughter.

Y/N rolls her eyes, Harry having no idea how possessive his daughter is. Josie plants another chaste kiss on Y/N's lips and then sticks her tongue out at Harry, truly showing her age.

"Now Josie, she's mine."

"No," she answers stubbornly.

"Jo."

"My mummy!" She reminds him as if he could forget.

"She's my wife."

Josie shakes her head, and those words mean nothing to her instead, she buries her face in Y/N's neck, "mine" is all she repeats.

"Ours," Harry compromises.

She slowly lifts her head, turning to stare at Harry. It's a word she doesn't recognize—something she's never had to associate with her mother.

"We can share, Mummy, yeah. Like when you share your food with Wes and Nana." Harry explains.

Josie thinks about it for a few seconds before accepting, "yes."

Y/N stands there feeling her heart might burst from all the love she's receiving. "We share, Daddy."

"Want to go with Daddy again?" He asks with stretched-out hands.

Y/N passed her over, seeing as Jo nodded eagerly at the thought of being back in her father's embrace. Josie snuggles close to his chest, and Y/N knows there is little time before Jo falls asleep.

"Sleep, please."

"Yes, bub, I'll take you to sleep."

"Read?" She asks timidly.

Wes bounces, overhearing his favorite word, "read to us?"

The smile on Harry's face is unmatched. He's been missing out on so much, but not anymore. "Whatever you want," he promises.

They begin to walk up the steps together, Harry doing his best to follow both conversations that are happening at once. Y/N stares at them going up together when her three loves turn around and smile at her.

"Coming, my heart?"

"Coming, Mummy?" Jo stretches out her small hand for Y/N to take.

The smile on Y/N's face widens, and she begins to feel her heart mending back together. "Nowhere else I would rather be."

Y/N takes Josie's hand, placing a small kiss on the back before settling it back down. A hand on Wes' shoulder and Harry's back as they all walk up the steps as a family.

Not perfect, but trying.

thank you so much for reading 💜💜💜💜 i love you endlessly

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