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putellas11 · 2 years

Note

🛏💥 for Alexia x reader

Reblog and let your followers send in one or multiple emojis from each category, and write a blurb about it.

I want you to write a blurb about two characters 💥 sleeping together with a little bit of... 🛏 only one bed

Timing plays an important role in the complex equation of love. It’s something that everyone seems to struggle to get right. Like when you meet the person of your dreams on the last day of your trip or when you fall in love with someone who already has feelings for another. The truth is that you can have it all: trust, passion, and respect but without timing it all matters very little. In the end, without it all we’re left with is a big, painful “what if”.

With time and a little bit of space one can usually make their peace with the situation, but time and space are luxurious you cannot afford.

That is because Alexia is your big, painful “what if” and she so happens to be your teammate. It’s hard to move on from someone you spend almost every waking moment with.

From the very beginning, the two of you never really stood a chance. While there was an immediate attraction from the moment you met, the fact that you were in a long-term relationship at the time meant you had to do everything in your power to keep Alexia at arm’s length⁠⁠— even when all you wanted was to pull her close.

When your relationship started to fall apart at the seams, you kept it a secret from the team. This was a mistake because had Alexia known there was a chance on the horizon, she wouldn’t have gotten into a relationship while you were on the verge of no longer being in one. But she didn’t know and as a result, it was now your turn to watch her from the sidelines wishing you were the one by her side.

The team travels to Chelsea for the first leg of the Champions League quarter finals and you notice that something is off with Alexia. She barely spoke a word to anyone on the plane, giving all her attention to her phone even though she didn’t seem at all happy at what she was seeing.

You sit next to Aitana on the way to the hotel and you do so on purpose. If there was anyone who would know what was going on with Alexia, it was her.

“Oye, you know what’s going on with Ale? She hasn’t said a word.”

Aitana immediately knows what you’re talking about. She lets out a sigh and glances at Alexia who is sitting closer to the front of the bus. “It’s not my place to say,” she says, looking back at you with a look in her eye that you've seen before, “but if anyone should know it’s you.”

You lean back in your seat and suddenly you feel a little small. Aitana is very much aware of your feelings for Alexia, and she’s always been your voice of reason. When the devil on your shoulder starts making too much sense, you run to her and she doesn’t hesitate to put you in your place.

Aitana lowers her voice, “she hasn’t stopped fighting with her girl. It’s getting really bad, and from what she has told me, she’s pretty much at her breaking point.”

“Oh.” Is all you can say, and you can’t stop yourself from looking in Alexia’s direction. You can’t see her face since she’s slouched down in her seat, so you can only guess what’s running through her mind.

“Just be smart about this, alright?” Despite being younger than you, Aitana is the one having to remind you to not allow yourself to be led by impulses.

“I will.”

The look in her eye gives her away. She doesn’t really believe you.

The bus arrives at the hotel and Alexia is one of the first to get off. It’s only when everyone gathers at the lobby that she gives you a glance. Despite the frown she’s been wearing all day, she surprises you when you actually get a smile. Granted, it lasts for a second, but it means something.

Jona clears his throat and it draws the attention of the team. “Bueno chicas, there was some confusion when we booked the rooms, so you’ll most likely have a new roommate for this trip.”

You feel a tug on the back of your shirt, and you turn your head to find Mariona by your side. “I’ll fight whoever is taking you from me.” You know she’s being serious as the two of you have always shared a room.

Sticking your bottom lip out in a pout, “I promise I’ll be thinking of you the entire time.”

“Alexia and Y/N will be in room 706,” Jona announces, and you hear Mariona laugh under her breath.

“Never mind, I stand no chance against Ale.”

Despite having Mariona right next to you, you can barely hear a word she says over the alarm sounds going off in your head. The idea of being in a confined space with Alexia is both exhilarating and utterly terrifying.

With a deep breath, you sling your bag over your shoulder and walk towards Alexia who is already waiting for you by the elevator.

“Before I get on this elevator, I need to know if you snore because if you do, this will not work.” You’re teasing, of course, so Alexia playfully taps you on the shoulder with a genuine smile on her face this time.

“Idiota.” Is all she says as she places her hand on your back, giving you a little nudge of encouragement to get you inside the elevator.

Neither of you say anything else on the way up to the seventh floor. Alexia manages to check her phone for what seems like the fiftieth time, however, and every time she does, she can’t help but let out a sigh.

With the key card in her hand, Alexia opens the door and holds it open for you to walk inside. When you do, you're greeted by a sight that makes you stop in your tracks.

“Uh... Ale?”

Where there is supposed to be two beds, you see only one.

With Alexia now by your side, the two of you stand in silence for what seems like forever just staring at the one queen bed in front of you.

“We should say something, right?” you ask, turning your head to take in her reaction.

“We should,” she replies, also turning to face you. “Unless…”

Alexia doesn’t finish her sentence, but you know what she was trying to say. “I don’t have a problem if you don’t.”

“I don’t have a problem.”

And so, it’s settled. You agree to take the left side of the bed and Alexia gets the right with a view of the city. She is the captain after all.

Training goes by in a blur and in a blink of an eye you’re back in the hotel room, wrapped in a bathrobe. Alexia is in the shower so that gives you some time to get yourself in order. The devil on your shoulder is making some very compelling arguments but you try to remember Aitana’s words.

Be smart about this, Y/N.

However, when Alexia comes out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around her body, your brain short-circuits and of all the sudden you can’t remember a single thing that Aitana has ever said. Hell, you can’t even remember your own name.

You know she’s doing it on purpose because Alexia doesn’t bother hiding the smirk on her face. It doesn’t surprise you. The two of you have been playing this game long enough for you to know all her little tricks by now.

She picks up the phone charging on the nightstand and whatever she sees on the screen makes her throw her head back in frustration.

“Everything alright?” It’s a question you ask as innocently as you can, knowing fully well what was truly going on.

Alexia shakes her head and turns the phone face down so she can avoid seeing what's on the screen. “It will be when we get back to Barcelona.”

You want to ask what the hell that’s supposed to mean but you fight the urge.

Alexia goes back into the bathroom to change. When she comes out, you’re already underneath the covers. She takes the time to turn off every light in the room except the one from the lamp on your nightstand.

“I don’t snore, by the way.” She says, pulling the covers and making herself comfortable next to you in bed.

You turn on your side to face her, your arm underneath the pillow for support. “Well, you look like you do.”

Alexia squints her eyes at you and playfully flicks you on the forehead, but maybe a little harder than she intended to.

“Ouch!” While it did hurt, you can’t help the laugh that escapes your lips. Last week a defender almost broke your leg with a sliding tackle, a little flick on the forehead was nothing.

Alexia laughs along with you, but she surprises you when she leans in and places a kiss on your forehead, right where she flicked you. Her lips linger for far longer than they need to, and you’re left speechless by the feeling of her lips on your skin.

“I’m happy I get to have you as my roommate this time. I get a little jealous when Mariona keeps you all to herself.” she says, scooting ever so closer to you.

A queen bed feels like a single with Alexia next to you and it’s suffocating but in the best way. You hold her gaze for a few seconds. It’s all you can do because you sense the conversation going in an interesting direction.

“Now you know how I feel.”

Alexia takes her time to respond and when she hears her phone vibrate again, she makes no effort to look at it.

“You have no reason to be jealous-” she says, and you have to stop her.

“That’s not true and you know it.”

Alexia scoots a little closer to you again and this time, she’s so close you can feel her breath on your skin. “You didn’t let me finish.” She tucks your hair behind your ear. “Anymore,” she clarifies, her thumb now gently caressing your cheek. “You have no reason to be jealous anymore.”

You know what she means but you honestly can’t believe it. You want to pinch yourself, but you remember you actually haven’t fallen asleep yet, so clearly this was not a dream.

“I haven’t been happy with her for a long time, Y/N.” Alexia reaches for your hand underneath the covers, and you don’t pull away when she intertwines her fingers with yours. “We’ve done nothing but fight the last few months and I just can’t take it anymore.”

You give her hand a little squeeze and she brings the back of your hand to her lips where she places another kiss.

“Stop doing that.”

Alexia, of course, ignores you. She leans in and this time places a kiss on your shoulder and you regret deciding to wear a tank top because now your skin is on fire.

“Ale, we’re still just friends. Remember?”

Alexia nods her head, but her eyes are full of mischief. She leans in again and despite your initial protests, you make no attempt to push her away. With her lips close to your ear, she whispers “friends are allowed to kiss,” her lips moving down your neck, “in some places.”

It takes everything in you to push her away and the smirk on her face confirms how much she loves that she's able to get you so riled up with so little effort.

Be smart about this, Y/N.

“And yet, Mariona has never kissed me like that so back to your side of the bed, por favor”

With a pout, Alexia scoots back a little but refuses to let go of your hand. This you don’t fight her on, for no other reason than you love her touch.

You turn off the the remaining light and settle in for bed. “If you snore, I swear I will hit you with a pillow.”

In the darkness, you can barely make out Alexia’s features, but you don’t need to see her to know she’s rolling her eyes at you.

“You’re so annoying.” Is all she says before bringing your joined hands closer to her chest, giving you one last final kiss.

“Buenas noches, Ale.”

________________________________

Part 2

#alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader #woso x reader #woso imagine #reader imagine #Fic: Be Smart About This

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localspiderboy · 2 years

Text

Just a Call Away | PS4 Peter Parker x GN!Reader

Kinktober Prompt - Phone Sex

Summary: Peter has never needed to hear your voice more than right now.

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, phone sex, talks about missing each other and not seeing each other for a while, helping peter finish over the phone, begging, dirty talk, male masturbation.

Word Count: 507

a/n: I'm gonna pretend like his new face model doesn't exist. Dark-haired peter parker supremacy. His new face makes him look 15. Not as long as I wanted it to be but I have a headache. Enjoy!

It’s been building up and up all day. His need for you. It didn’t start off sexual in nature, it was just a normal case of missing you while you were away on a business trip. How could he not? For the past year, you and your boyfriend hadn’t been separated for any longer than a day, and now you’ve been gone for two weeks. It’s been taking a toll on both of you.

You’ve dealt with it the best you can, sending texts back and forth about your day even if it’s just an emoji. Calls at least three times a day. He makes sure to take a break from patrol right when you’re having lunch so he won’t have to miss talking to you. Really in Peter’s opinion, this whole situation was your fault, you know how much he misses you how could you expect him to hear that comment you made about what you wanted to do to him when you got back home? And from your tone of voice, it wasn’t very family-friendly. It got Peter thinking about how he’d give anything to touch you, feel you. A very distracting thing to think about while trying to fight criminals.

All of the cultivated to this very moment. The nightly phone call from Peter came earlier than usual but was still very much welcome. You greeted him all cheery and excited and just hearing you say his name did more to him than he’d like to admit. “Hey y/n.” He couldn’t even get the whole thing, his voice was shaky. He had tried to blow off steam before your phone call but it became very evident that he needed your help and you were happy to be of service.

You immediately knew what he needed. Of course, you did. But we’re you going to give it to him easily? Well, that was entirely up to Peter. “Oh hon, you’ve been thinking about me all day haven’t you?” Your voice deepens, dark and sultry. He could finish by just listening to you talk. He probably will.

“Of course I was, I’m always thinking about you.”

Sweet boy. You think. “You know what I meant Peter. Why don’t you tell me what you’re doing right now? What you were thinking about?”

“Was thinking about-” He curses. “I was thinking how much I miss you. Need you here with me, can’t touch myself like you can.”

“Yeah, Pete? I miss you too.”

“Miss you so fucking much baby.” He gasps, he’s imagining his hand as your own. Slowly stroking up and down his cock, his thumb slowly rolling over the tip. Trying to replicate what you do. The sounds coming through the speaker make your stomach clench. You wish you could see his face although the mental picture isn’t half bad.

“You need help don’t you baby?” He does. He really fucking does.

“Yes god...Please yes.” You smile, he sounds pitiful, your boy needs you, and you are there to help.

“I got you baby don’t worry.”

Enjoyed the fic? Consider Reblogging.

#lace spidey #male reader #x male reader #gn reader #x reader #x gn reader #male!reader #marvel x male reader #spiderman x male reader #spiderman x reader #ps4 peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x male reader #peter parker x gn!reader #spiderman fanfiction

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kindan-no-kanojo · 1 year

Text

⊹Available Verses⊹

⊹And Interactive AUs!⊹

┌─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┐

Anyone can interact with any AU (like Catlett) here, but each muse only 'belongs' to one Verse (they don't overlap).

You = Your muse/canon/OC/Self-insert/ btw. Or you yourself if it applies.

Feel free to DM me if you have any doubts! More verses and AUs may be added in the future.

└─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┘

⊹Canon Verse

┌─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┐

Does «Forbidden Girlfriend» ring a bell?

Scarlett and Kino decided to see what would happen if they stay together despite all. Eventually, they realize how much they don't want to come back to their lonely lives, even if that meant different risks. All in all, nothing stops them from having new adventures, meeting new people and doing their best to get along with them... while trying to cause the least amount of trouble possible.

└─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┘

In this verse, all active characters from Scarlett's story, Forbidden Voracity, are present in one way or another, and Scarlett and Kino are in a relationship.

Kino and Scarlett can be together or reference each other in asks and interactions. Scarlett will not get involved with muses beyond friendship within this verse.

Read all the nuances of this verse here!

If you send an ask involving Kino, I will assume you are joining this verse.

Yuuri is also available for asks if requested. He knows Scarlett, and he functions more independently than Kino does.

⊹Independent Verse

┌─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┐

Scarlett managed to escape her situation as a servant and continue on her own. Ghouls had broken into the manor while her master, Rhiannon, was not under her supervision, killing her before she could do something to avoid it. Then and there, Scarlett snaps, attacks the killers to death and, under a panic rush, she escapes. However, she takes a different route than the one in the Canon verse, never running into Kino as he has no special need for her help.

As Scarlett picks up the remaining shreds of her sanity, she wonders... Does it always have to be like that? Now that she's got the freedom she wanted, how far can she go?

└─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┘

This is the default verse when Scarlett interacts with other muses through RP. Here, her past is intact until her escape. Scarlett is unaffiliated at the start of every interaction.

Read all the nuances of this verse here!

Relationships can go any way (friendship, romance, deeper plots...).

If you are interested in interacting with Scarlett with no restrictions, this is the preferred verse.

If our muses develop a dynamic between them within interactions, I might add a special ship tag, but that doesn't mean they are in a romantic/established relationship. They could have any kind of relationship, affected by interactions only (sometimes brainstorming works too, but I personally prefer the former). If me using a ship tag makes you uncomfortable, please let me know and I'll remove it!

I tag the muse's full name in starters/asks only. Tag traction doesn't work on reblogs outside the blog so it's a personal choice, but I always add the URL. Additionally, each muse has a specific tag with an emoji that represents something that reminds Scarlett of them. The ship emoji is chosen based on the dynamic or trope they have going on once it's clear enough (usually I choose it myself).

Third parties cannot interact in these AUs unless both admins are aware beforehand. Please don't jump in or randomly assume Scarlett's relationship with another muse to stir up drama (though asks/mentions of their relationship are okay as long as they aren't passive-aggressive or possessive! Just be respectful!)

⊹Past AU-Verse

┌─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┐

Maybe you have known Scarlett for a while, and you have picked up only a handful of hints about how the person she used to call her Master was like. You can hardly learn anything from someone who refuses to talk about it, though, so... would you like to experience it first hand? How terrible can the outcome be?

└─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┘

This is a special case: a mix of a Verse and an AU. While it is set in another timeline, it's still connected to the present.

As the name suggests, it takes place in Scarlett's past. Here, Rhiannon is alive, with Scarlett as her servant.

This Verse will take place only on Rhiannon's independent blog -> @saigai-no-ojou. Make sure to read the entirety of the AU Introduction!

In short, Past AU-Verse is an interactive AU where actions can have deep consequences. You can go back and forth from the Past to the Canon or Independent Verses, but if you've done something risky, Scarlett's mind might generate memories about you in the present. Whether it's good or bad, it's up to your actions.

In order to bypass hard consequences, be careful or figure out how to get rid of Rhiannon's Most Loyal Servant to (safely?) have your way with the Calamity Princess...

Note: Scarlett and Rhiannon cannot unironically participate in any verse or AU together as their present selves.

🎶 Teacher!AU

┌─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┐

Scarlett always wanted to be a great musician. After enough time attending Ryoutei and following the guidelines only to use the piano, some faculties finally recognized her talent... and offered her the chance to teach for a while! Now, all she has to do is prove how good of a teacher she can be in order to keep her new job. She's confident that her love for music will speak for itself, but... Will her "new" students go any easy on her particularly strict temper!?

└─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┘

This AU involves Scarlett as Ryoutei's new music teacher!

Anyone can interact regardless of their relationship with Scarlett at the time. If the muse doesn't attend Ryoutei, she could be a support teacher instead, if you're still interested in interacting.

Her previous classmates and juniors become her students (remember that she used to be in 3rd year). The relationship with everyone stays the same, no starting over.

Teacher!Scarlett will wear Lost Eden's uniform, as opposed to her usual uniform.

You can choose which school life you want to interact with, they won't overlap with each other.

🐱Catlett!AU

┌─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┐

"What... what is happenyan!?"

└─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┘

Scarlett has grown cat ears and tail for unknown reasons!

Catlett is no different from your usual Scarlett. Except, of course, for her new body parts... and her new weaknesses.

Feel free to approach her and give her a snack, a headpat, a toy, or just watch her struggle with her new cat instincts and speech!

For Catlett to show up, you just have to call her by Catlett, or a cat emoji included in your ask!

You don't necessarily need to have a specific relationship with her and, again, this AU can't interfere with the others!

🩸Yandere!AU

┌─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┐

"Oh, Darling... did you really think death could do us part!?"

└─────────･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ. ─────────┘

A darker AU featuring a broken, lovesick Scarlett. Here, Scarlett is madly in love with a gender neutral Darling.

This AU was born from the Yandere alphabet meme, which is currently a work in progress. I take a while with these since they include a mini scenario alongside the main answer.

Muses cannot interact with Yandere!Scarlett, but you can send a request or scenario involving her and her Darling, who in this verse is a human, to feed your curiosity if you want.

Huge TW as this is one the most toxic and abusive versions of Scarlett.

#Scarlett Wakahisa #🔍. Masterlist #📜. Available verses

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kithtaehyung · 11 months

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AAAHH Ryen I didn’t know reblogging helps so much, but. I’m starting to be more active and I’ve just always thought liking and interacting in blogs would be enough to show my love. this was a thought all the way from the past couple of months actually😂 but do you remember when I used to be a silent reader?🥺(think I’ve mentioned this once) just so you know I really love the hell out of Forfeit and the effort you put through in your works in general. I always come back to read them and i love you for taking the time to write 22k words and even more. watch out bc I’m gonna reblog the hell out of busted 30k or split. well in that case if splitting, I’m one with the anon who said don’t leave us on a cliffhanger because🤣 my heart is not gonna be able to handle and cope knowing there’s another part to come LOL. perks of splitting would also be more warnings which makes it more exciting and deadly at the same time HSHAH

anyways just felt like sending a bit of a long message & being sappy🫠 (sometimes I feel like I can be really soft, and so it feels great that I can share it here) got more reblogging catch-ups to do with the past chapters😙

jus voicing out my support🥹

-🍇 (aahhh i’ve tried it it this is so cute n exciting)

omg grace this is so damn cute of you to send?? i love the emoji too.

i do remember when you said you were a silent reader before but that you were gonna try to do more to support🥺💕 that meant the world to me because anything helps, and i’m thankful you decided to reach out🫂 reblogging is especially sweet if you add tags or comments, too, because that gives writers the chance to reblog from you with our responses! it also gives us feedback on what you liked so that we can pocket that info for later reference😌

thank you for the forfeit commentary😭😭 it’s my favorite chapter—and a lot of y’all’s too from what you’ve said—but since it’s long, it crashes before people can reblog or comment so the interaction on it isn’t near what other chapters had. that’s partly why 3tan10 is gonna be split! hopefully it’ll be easier to interact with😅

looking forward to your other reblogs and commentary! take your time, no rush whatsoever, and whatever you decide to say i will appreciate!

#you’re so kind😭#grace🍇#asks:3tan #lovely people #3tan9 #*ryenfictalk #mailbox💌#3tan10

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allylikethecat · 1 month

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💋 💌⌛️

YES THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for sending me something off of the works in progress emoji ask game!! If anyone else wants to send something the list can be found HERE if anyone else wants to send some or reblog for themselves! As always, I love ask games, and I love fanfic, and I love our little Tumblr community and am so grateful that people are willing to engage with me. Thank you!!

💋 - snippet of a wip of your choice

You're getting a snippet from All the King's Horses (I know probably not the one people want lol) but I am SO EXCITED about it and I also just realized today is Wednesday not Thursday which means I have to wait even longer to share it so I am sad. George cleared his throat. “Matthew and I are going to head out,” he said, trying and failing to sound nonchalant. Gabi looked up sharply, “Matty’s coming?” She asked, a smile playing on the corners of her mouth and George flushed. Polly had no doubt filled her in on their Cold War. “Yeah,” said George, “we’re still good to meet you at Jalapeño’s?” “Yep,” said Gabi, “just waiting on Polly to finish giving meds.” “Cool, I think Ross and Waughty will be there first, they said they would get a table,” George said, hooking his backpack over his shoulder. “We’ll see you soon?” “Sounds good,” said Gabi, flashing George a thumbs up with a glint in her eye. Matthew was standing by the entrance to the barn when George returned, wearing a pair of wayfarer style sunglasses and a well worn Kentucky Horse Park baseball cap tugged down over his curls. George swallowed a pang of disappointment, even sweaty and squished from wearing a helmet all day, George liked Matthew’s curls. “Ready?” George asked and Matthew nodded, following him to the parking lot and climbing into the passenger seat of George’s truck. George looked away as he did so, not wanting to get caught checking out his ass, admiring the way his navy blue breeches pulled tight as he hoisted himself into George’s lifted vehicle, the hop jump he had to do to get in only highlighting how small he was. George quickly banished the thought of how that meant Matthew would fit perfectly, tucked against his side.

💌 - how many wips do you have?

Too many 💀 Officially in progress being actively update (at least in The 1975 fandom I'm pretending the other fandoms don't exist at the moment) I have five: All the King's Horses Make Way for Ducklings You Know Where the City Is It's Christmas (So This Is Gonna Be a Nightmare) On a Friday In terms of ones that exist and are actively being worked on but aren't ready to be posted / haven't been posted yet I a have five more: Tennessee Stella McCartney (the Nashville™️ fic) Now Is the Hour (The teen dad fictional!matty fic) Vampire AU (we're still working on a name) The End of SATVB Sick Fic One shot (name also TBD) That super secret fourth thing that I keep joking about So apparently all in all that's TEN WIPS and i did not realize it was that many and now I'm stressed... (Less work has gone into them - but I also have the infection verse fics where Baby Gatty gets together and Fictional!Matty is readjusting to the public eye after the chapter eight events of the A&E fic but I'm not emotionally ready to admit that I have 12 WIPs lol)

⏳️- wip you're planning on doing next

That is a very good question! I whatever fic gets updated on Tuesday will be determined by the poll that I still don't have the results for yet (it ends soon if you haven't voted yet!). Once the Christmas Fic is finished I would like to start posting another one of my in progress WIPs, I'm just not sure which one yet. I also want to FINALLY hopefully get the SATVB sick fic finished - I'm just worried people are going to be disappointed because I have taken so long to finish it and I'm worried it's been over hyped

Thank you SO MUCH for sending me this ask oh my gosh!! I'm so excited about my various projects (even if I'm a little stressed I hadn't realized there were so many lol) and I hope you continue to enjoy my posts in the meantime! I hope you have a great rest of your day and a great week!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #keep it kind #fanfiction #matty fic #fanfic #gatty #questions #answers #works in progress emoji ask game!!#WIPs #i truly cannot believe i have that many wips wtf #also i want to work on prompts too #but i dont wanna stress myself out too much lol #its better if i dont realize how much there is haha #thank you for sending this and for reading and for the support!!

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grapesodatozier · 3 years

Text

so close to the real thing (closer than you think)

rating: explicit

word count: 6.8k

summary: Eddie's been pining over Richie for as long as he can remember. He loves everything about Richie; especially how much Richie loves touching him. It's a little inconvenient, though. Eddie copes with his pent up sexual tension by constantly checking a porn blog he's obsessed with on tumblr. This guy has the same type of body as Richie, he talks like Richie, his name is even Richie! It makes it all too easy for Eddie to pretend it really is Richie while getting himself off to all of the blog's content.

You'll never guess what he finds out when he starts sexting this stranger named Richie from his anonymous porn blog.

tags: friends to lovers, porn with feelings, love confessions, dom/sub dynamics, bi dom top richie, gay sub bottom eddie, the most oblivious pining idiots in the world lol we love them

notes: this is one of my more ridiculous ideas but I had so much fun with it lol. also as a note you probably should not approach people on the internet the way they do in this fic, but they're just v enthusiastic and everything here is v consensual!! still tho definitely don't take this indulgent fic as a guide on how to approach real people online lmao. okay have fun!!

read on ao3 or below!!

notsfw under the cut

Eddie Kaspbrak’s friends were his entire world; time spent with them meant everything to him. But he also really valued his alone time. He’d always been the sort who needed time to just sit on a grassy hill and watch the trains go by, to catch up on comics in his room, to get lost in Netflix shows or even just his thoughts as he moseyed around his apartment—one he live in by himself, for when these moods hit. He needed time to himself to unwind. And sometimes he unwound by scrolling through some porn blogs on tumblr with his hand in his pants.

There was one blog that he was particularly fond of. There were other blogs more catered to his personal interests, namely blogs that didn’t feature women like this one did. But there was a good balance of genders represented, so Eddie figured he could just scroll past those posts. This guy was worth it. His pictures were ridiculously hot, and his dirty talk was even hotter.

Also, his name was Richie. Which Eddie refused to acknowledge as part of the draw.

It was harder to ignore tonight. He’d been out with the losers, and Richie had just been so touchy. And there was something about the way he'd been talking; his voice was lower than normal, slower in a way that made Eddie’s stomach flip. And his touches had lingered, his hand squeezing Eddie’s hip slow, then lazily brushing against his ass as he dropped it. Eddie could hardly take it. He brushed it off as Richie just being tired from work, but god, Eddie wanted it to mean more. The hardest part was hiding how much he wanted Richie to keep doing it.

There were so many things Eddie wanted Richie to do to him. He wanted Richie to touch him harder, to grab him by his hips with both hands. Richie’s hands were so big; Eddie just knew Richie could manhandle him so easily, so roughly. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Richie’s hands all over him, grabbing at his ass and his thighs, holding his wrists down, making him feel so small. While Eddie would never admit it, huffing at every short joke Richie made, but he loved being shorter than Richie. He loved how safe he felt when Richie held him. And he was dying to know how small he would feel with Richie looming above him, or sitting in Richie’s lap, bouncing on his cock. He wanted to hear Richie talking to him in that low, slow voice, with that condescension Eddie did his best to pretend not to be affected by. He wanted Richie to whisper in his ear and call him all those pretty names he always dropped so casually, all those sweet ones and also ones that were a lot meaner. He wanted Richie to want him.

But it was easier to think about it than to ask for it. He knew Richie had way more experience than him. Well, okay, maybe not way more necessarily, but they were starting their third year of college, and he hadn’t wasted any time. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn’t done anything more than hand stuff with someone else. The guys he’d hooked up with were nice enough, and hot enough, but they just… weren’t Richie.

He supposed this guy on tumblr wasn’t Richie either, but at least he was everything else Eddie wanted. None of his hookups had been so, well, dominant, and that was this guy’s whole thing. He was dominant and a top and into guys that looked like Eddie. He even kind of talked like Richie, and he was apparently pining over his best friend, just like Eddie was. It had him completely smitten. Plus, internet-Richie’s crush had brown eyes like Eddie, and he ran track, just like Eddie did. Internet-Richie had posted once about his dick getting hard watching his friend at his track meet, and Eddie had come so hard that night, his track shorts around his ankles, imagining his Richie thinking those things about him.

Eddie was in bed now, in nothing but his boxers and one of Richie’s old shirts that had been Eddie’s for a while now. Still reeling from the way Richie had been acting that night, he logged into his porn account on his phone and scrolled through his dash for a grand total of thirty seconds before going immediately to internet-Richie’s blog. A thrill went through Eddie’s body when he saw that he had just posted. He’d written, “god my friends gonna fuckn kill me with that ass, i wanna plow him so bad” then reblogged it and added, “reminder that my asks and dms are always open if any pretty needy little subs need help getting off. please come be sluts in my messages.” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that there was a picture, too, one of him gripping his hard cock, his boxers pulled down just enough for Eddie to see the dark hair around the base of his cock. Eddie moaned at the sight. His cock was so nice, so long and thick and pink. And fuck, his fingers. They were so long and slim, almost as nice as his-Richie’s.

Eddie scrolled a little farther down, his heart racing. There were a lot of reblogs, but some original posts here and there, things like, “what i wouldn’t do to have a pretty guy drooling all over my cock rn,” and, “in the mood to get someone dick drunk. wanna fuck a someone so hard they forget their own name.” One that made Eddie nearly choke said, “want someone i can pump my come into whenever i want, over and over again. want a sub i can keep full of my come all the fuckn time.” That post had Eddie getting out his lube.

It also had him thinking about internet-Richie’s most recent post, his post about his DMs being open.

Eddie bit his lip and thought about it. He’d sent internet-Richie some asks before from his porn blog (his blog didn’t have his name on it, just the teddy bear emoji, since he privately thought the teddy/Eddie rhyme was fun and clever, and also it was cute), and he’d seemed plenty happy enough to respond then. Still, it felt like a much bigger step to DM him, to talk to him just one on one. But the more he read his posts, the more he thought about his-Richie and how he’d touched Eddie that night, the easier it was to convince himself to shoot his shot with this stranger.

Eddie just messaged him a simple, “hi,” with a heart emoji. It was innocent enough, but his heart was still racing.

Internet-Richie responded a lot faster than Eddie was expecting. Honestly he hadn’t been expecting a response at all. But he said:

hiya cutie (; ive been hoping youd message me

Eddie flushed. He couldn’t help but hear cutie in his-Richie’s voice—especially given how often Richie used the nickname. really? he typed back.

fuck yes, ur cute little messages make me so hard. i can tell ur a pretty little thing just from the way you type

Eddie was blushing deep. Pretty little thing. That was hotter than it should’ve been. He wanted his Richie to talk to him like that, in that deep, sleepy voice.

there’s no way you can tell that from some messages :P, Eddie sent.

His heart stopped at the next messages internet-Richie sent.

oh, u dont think so?

why dont u send me some pics to prove me wrong (;

Oh my god, Eddie thought, his breath coming short. His head swam at the thought of sending this guy nudes, of showing himself off to someone who clearly wanted to see him, who would know how to take care of him and fuck him the way he liked, a guy with his crush’s fucking name and body type and hands. It had Eddie’s cock hard and leaking, and he slowly slid a finger inside of himself.

But just because the thought turned him on didn’t mean he was gonna send this stranger what he wanted so easily, even if he desperately wanted to.

you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

He fingered himself open as he waited for a response, working his way up to two fingers. It was nearly impossible to ignore his cock, but he didn’t want to come before the conversation even had a chance to start.

fuck ya i would, internet-Richie responded. Then, in a second message, whats wrong baby? you shy? ill show u mine ;)

Eddie's breath caught. God, this guy even made stupid shit sound hot, just like Eddie’s Richie. This was unreal.

i’ve seen yours, Eddie pointed out.

ya and you musta liked it if ur messaging me rn

Eddie bit his lip. ...maybe

aw thats cute sweetheart. u know i can see all the needy little tags you add when u reblog my stuff right?

Eddie blushed. He’d kind of always hoped he’d read them, but he never thought he actually did. i didn’t know you read those

oh ya, read them, jerk off to them. bit of a size queen, aren’t you? ;) it’s cute. makes me so fuckn hard when u talk abt how u want me to fill you up

Eddie whimpered out loud, sliding a third finger into himself. Fuck, he wanted that cock inside of him so bad. But right now one of his toys would have to do, once he was stretched out enough. He sped up his fingers, getting impatient. Gathering up all of his horny courage, he sent, show me.

what, no please? only good boys who use their manners get dick pics babydoll

Eddie pouted and whined to himself, making quick work of sliding his hot pink vibrator inside of himself—well, as quickly as he could without hurting himself. He moaned as it filled him up, making pleasure spread deep through his body. Slowly pumping it in and out, he reached for his phone. please, he typed, please let me see? wanna know what to picture while i fuck myself with my vibrator. He even added the wide eyed pouting emoji to really milk the whole begging thing. He knew he’d been playing a little coy, but now with the way internet-Richie was talking to him he was getting desperate.

well fuck baby since ur begging ;)

Eddie held his breath as he waited for the picture, slowly rocking his toy in and out, savoring the feeling. He wished it was Richie doing it, wished it was his cock. The lines between which Richie blurred; he wanted to get fucked by either of them, both of them.

What Eddie received when his phone lit up was not a picture, but a video. It was short, just a few seconds of Richie’s hand dragging wetly, smoothly over his cock, but it had Eddie drooling. The room was dark, so he’d used a flash, and it made the mix of what Eddie assumed was precome and spit glisten as the swollen head of Richie’s cock disappeared and reappeared from behind his fingers. Eddie must’ve played it at least five times, fucking himself a little faster, before remembering to say something back. And to take a video of his own. fuck, I want you so bad, want you to fucking ruin me, he wrote back. A part of him couldn’t believe how openly desperate he was being, but he found that he liked it; he liked the way it made him blush, he liked the way it felt to beg, to ask for what he wanted.

Richie’s response came fast: show me kitten. show me how you want me to fuck your pretty little ass.

Eddie moaned at the pet name; casual little nicknames were such a weakness for him. He was already so far gone, just picturing Richie’s cock inside of him, picturing him stroking his cock to thoughts of Eddie. The attention had his cock hard and leaking as he thrust his vibrator even deeper inside of himself, pumping it in and out a few more times before rolling over and getting on his hands and knees. It was hard to take a video from this angle, but he wanted to show off his ass and hide his face. Plus, there was something so hot about having his ass in the air and his face shoved in his pillow, looking like the perfect image of someone desperate to be fucked. He loved the way it made him feel, loved the thought of being so open for someone. For Richie.

He ended up shooting a short video as well, about ten seconds of him sliding his vibrator slowly in and out of himself, letting out soft little moans. He was pretty pleased with the way it turned out, his hole pink and smooth and wet as it stretched around his toy. The angle was a little weird, showing a lot of his room once or twice when his hand slipped a little, but overall he thought his ass looked amazing, if he did say so himself. He sent it and said, feels so good. do you want me to go faster?

As he sent it, he got settled on his back, forcing himself to go slow as he fucked himself while he waited for internet-Richie’s response. It was taking longer than before, and Eddie was getting antsy; it was so hard to drag it out, to not get ahead of himself. But whatever Richie was doing, Eddie knew it would be worth the wait. Still, he pouted as his cock ached, begging for attention.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door.

He groaned to himself and stayed put, fucking himself even slower as he waited for whoever it was to leave. But then the knocking continued, loud and incessant and obnoxious, and Eddie knew exactly who it was. He also knew he wasn’t going to go away any time soon, which honestly made him smile and blush. Richie had terrible timing, but Eddie would never be upset to see him.

Reluctantly, he slowly slid the toy out and pulled on his shorts, leaving his shirt off. He still had a pretty obvious boner, but his horny brain did not mind the idea of Richie seeing it. So he strode lazily down the hall, shouting a performatively annoyed, “I’m coming!” Finally, he opened the door, cocking his hip to the side and giving Richie an expectant look. “Can I help you?” he asked, a small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He had to fight off a smirk at the wide eyed look Richie gave him as he ran his eyes over Eddie’s body.

“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, his eyes trained on Eddie’s cock, which was getting even harder the more Richie stared. Eddie bit his lip and grinned a little, making doe eyes at Richie. But Richie didn’t meet his gaze—instead he brushed past Eddie, his mouth still hanging open as he made his way urgently toward Eddie’s bedroom.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, a little let down that Richie’s hands weren’t all over him right now. But hey, if he was heading to Eddie’s bedroom he figured that was at least the right direction. He closed his front door and followed Richie into his room, where he found him staring at the bright pink vibrator on the bed. As confident and horny as Eddie was feeling, that still made him blush. He was only human. Crossing his arms, he said, bashful now, “I was kind of in the middle of something.”

Richie looked over at him, his cheeks bright red under his freckles. Then he got a glimmer of that trademark shit-eating grin on his face. “Eds, you fucking slut,” he said, sounding both delighted and breathless. “You are so fucking hot.”

Eddie flushed and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help but press his legs together, his eyes brightening. Fuck, was this actually happening? Shit, he needed to think of something witty to say. “You gonna do anything about it?” Okay, that kinda sounded like a corny porn, but he had to give himself credit for even being able to form words just after his lifelong crush and personal wet dream had just admitted his attraction to him.

“I think I already have been,” Richie said, still grinning.

Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”

Eddie was expecting a confession. He was expecting something along the lines of you think I don’t notice how you look at me? or did you really think those were casual touches earlier? What he was not expecting was for Richie to unlock his phone and hold it up, showing Eddie the video he had just taken, the video he’d sent to internet-Richie.

Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.

“Oh my god, that’s you?” Eddie cried in disbelief.

“You’re telling me you didn’t recognize this dick?” Richie asked, swaggering over to Eddie, clearly enjoying himself.

“How did you recognize it was me?”

Richie nodded toward the Thundercats poster on Eddie’s wall, then to the model train that sat on his dresser. “What other guy has decor like that and the ass to match?”

Eddie grinned and shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well pardon me for not being especially eloquent when I’ve just learned that the guy I’ve been masturbating to since I learned how to and been in love with for even longer has been masturbating to me too.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide, all thoughts of getting fucked leaving for a moment. “You’re in love with me?” he asked, his voice as soft as his smile.

Richie was not a bashful person, but the little laugh he let out just then was close to it. “Have been my whole life, but thanks for finally noticing.”

Eddie shook his head and stepped closer, until he had to crane his head up to meet Richie’s gaze. “I love you too.”

Richie’s eyes widened behind his thick frames. Eddie had only seen that look in Richie’s eyes a few times before, but he never wanted to lose sight of it again. He always wanted Richie to look at him like that. But then Richie was closing his eyes and leaning down. It only took Eddie a second to get with the program, drinking in the moment just a little longer before letting his own eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Richie’s.

It started gentle enough, if deep and passionate and intentional. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s bare waist, skin against skin, and Eddie was gasping into Richie’s mouth, his hands coming up and resting against Richie’s chest. He curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt as Richie ran his tongue over Eddie’s lips, just before pulling away. He laughed at Eddie’s indignant little whine.

“Oh, you mean you don’t want me to take off my shirt right now?” he smirked as Eddie tried to pull him closer by the offending fabric. Huffing, Eddie conceded and let go long enough to let Richie pull the shirt off over his head.

“Oh,” he said softly, his voice a little, awed moan as he drank in Richie’s chest. It wasn’t like Richie had never been shirtless in front of Eddie before, but Eddie had never felt like he was allowed to really look at Richie all those times. But now he could; now he could touch. And he did, running his fingers over Richie’s smooth, warm skin, over his acne scars and blackheads and freckles. “Fuck, Richie,” he sighed before pressing his lips to Richie’s collarbones, trailing them all over Richie’s beautiful chest.

Richie gave a breathless, almost shy laugh as he stroked Eddie’s hair. “Damn, Eds, never pegged you as a tits guy.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled, bringing his lips back to Richie’s. They both smiled into it, getting lost for a moment as Richie’s hands slid slowly down Eddie’s sides. His hands lingered on Eddie’s hips for a moment before he slid them further down and grabbed at Eddie’s ass, making him gasp.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s about to rail you ‘til you can’t walk?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Eddie asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Spank me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Richie smirked. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful smack, making Eddie gasp again and fall into him, needing more. Richie’s voice was dripping with adoration as he purred, “Little brat,” and pulled Eddie against him, kissing him again. Eddie went with it easily and happily parted his lips to let Richie lick into his mouth. Richie had one hand gripping Eddie’s jaw and the other on his ass, touching him in a way that exuded a command Eddie was desperate to follow. God, Eddie knew Richie had big hands, but they felt huge on him like this. It was dizzyingly hot. And the way Richie’s tongue was teasing his had Eddie’s knees going weak. His dick was throbbing in his shorts, aching to finish what he’d started, what had been interrupted. When he thought about it all—about playing with himself for Richie, about the video Richie had sent him, about all those things Richie had said about filling Eddie up—he felt himself clench down on nothing, desperate to get fucked. Desperate to feel Richie’s cock so deep inside of him.

“Richie,” he whined into the kiss, pulling on Richie’s belt loops, “please.” He pressed himself urgently against Richie and rutted shamelessly against his thigh.

“Fuck, you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was cocky and teasing, but there was an apparent undercurrent of wonder there as well.

Eddie shoved his face into Richie’s neck and whined, grabbing onto Richie’s wrists without even knowing what his goal was. “Richie,” he whimpered, sounding pitiful and ruined already.

“What do you want, baby?” Richie’s voice made it clear that he was enjoying seeing Eddie this wrecked, and that just made Eddie even harder. “Come on, tell me, use your words.”

Eddie squirmed as Richie held him close, but still not touching him in any relieving way. “I need you inside,” Eddie said, his voice high and soft as he squirmed in Richie’s grip. “God, please, Richie, need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard I can’t even think. Fuck me like I’m your little toy.”

Eddie could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth, and judging by the gasp he heard Richie let out, he’d caught Richie off guard too. But if the hard bulge in his jeans that brushed up against Eddie was any indication, he was apparently just as turned on as Eddie was. Besides, Eddie knew from his blog that Richie was really into that sort of thing too—and, apparently, really into the idea of doing those things with Eddie. The realization that Richie had been saying all those filthy things about him had him grinding against him with even more fervor, kissing his neck with a heated confidence. Richie moaned, and Eddie could feel the warmth of it spreading through him. “Yeah, sweetheart? You want to feel me inside you? You think you’re ready for me?”

“Yes,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie with wide, desperate eyes. He shivered at the new look in Richie’s eyes, the blue nearly entirely eclipsed by how wide his pupils were. He looked hungry for Eddie; Eddie wanted to feel it. “‘M ready, Richie, please, so open for you.” He looked to the toy on his bed pointedly, but Richie only gave a deep laugh.

“Oh honey, that’s cute that you think that little thing is gonna have you ready for my cock.” Eddie’s breath caught; that toy wasn’t small. Before he could gather his scattered brain enough to react, Richie was scooping him up and tossing him on the bed, the toy falling forgotten to the floor. Richie moved Eddie onto his back, and Eddie went happily, pliantly. Richie’s fingers were cool against Eddie’s burning skin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts, slowly dragging them over his hips and down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Eddie’s cock was dripping with precome, his chest flushed a bright red as he squirmed under Richie’s gaze. Eddie been dreaming of Richie manhandling him like this for he didn’t even know how long; he couldn’t help the way he reacted. And he especially couldn’t help the pleased little sound he made when Richie murmured, “God, you’re gorgeous, Eds.” Then Richie was grabbing him by the ankles, gently but firmly spreading Eddie’s legs, and Eddie let out the most pathetic, genuine moan he’d ever heard. “Fuck, baby, you sound pretty. You like when I spread you open?” Richie asked. He was smirking down at Eddie, but Eddie could see how flushed he was, could see the thrilled awe in his dark, hungry eyes as Eddie nodded.

“Richie, please,” Eddie whimpered. “I need you so bad.” He sat up, reaching for Richie’s belt, but Richie easily pressed him back against the mattress with a large hand on the center of his chest. The confidence in Richie’s dominance took Eddie’s breath away, and he stayed right where he was, nice and obedient, as he watched Richie get off the bed and slowly undo his belt, then his button and zipper. He took his time dragging his jeans and boxers off, enough time to let Eddie’s eyes linger on the reveal of the dark hair under Richie’s waistband. Then Richie’s cock was bouncing up against his stomach, hard and flushed and fucking long. Eddie moaned at the sight and fisted the sheets underneath him. He wanted so badly to get his mouth on Richie, to breathe him in and be nice and good for Richie on his knees. But he was also desperate to get fucked; his hole clenched down on nothing at the thought, and then it was all he could think about again. “Richie,” he repeated, whining now as he reached for him. “Stop being such a tease.”

Richie laughed as he moved easily out of Eddie’s grip and climbed on top of him. Eddie gasped softly at the sight of Richie above him, his dark curls surrounding his face, his full, pink lips pulled into the most beautiful smile Eddie had ever seen in his life. He ran his hands over Richie’s chest and sides, marveling at the fact that this was really happening. Then, his eyes flickering down, he tentatively brought his hand to Richie’s cock.

“Oh, fuck,” they said, both at the same time, making them giggle together.

“Fuck, Eds, your pretty little hand looks so cute wrapped around my cock,” Richie teased in a low, rough voice. Eddie shivered; he couldn’t tell if Richie was praising him or degrading him, but either way it made his head fuzzy.

“‘M not that little,” Eddie grumbled out of habit. But he was clearly breathless. He’d never been good at pretending not to like Richie’s compliments, however teasing.

“Aw, but you are, baby,” Richie cooed, nuzzling his nose against Eddie’s and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You’re so cute and tiny for me. I don’t even know if we’ll be able to fit my cock inside you.”

“I can,” Eddie whined, both indignant and impatient. He bucked his hips up, but Richie held him down. He gasped when he felt the warm, soft skin of Richie’s cock press against his stomach. Looking down, he saw that Richie had his cock lying on Eddie’s stomach, showing just how deep he would be once he was inside Eddie.

“You sure about that, babydoll?” While the teasing note was still there, Richie’s voice got noticeably softer as he said, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Eddie’s chest swelled at that. Cupping Richie’s face in his hands, he insisted, “I can take it.” Then he reached down and took Richie in his hand, glowing with pride when Richie let out a low moan. “Richie, please, I want you so bad.”

“Okay, baby,” Richie agreed, turning his head to kiss Eddie’s palm. “Fuck, I want you, too.” But he stalled. “Have you ever… like, been fucked before?”

Eddie flushed. “Well, not by someone else, but I have some toys. I’m not gonna break, Richie.” He huffed, but the way Richie was looking at him soothed any ruffled feathers.

“I’m your first?” His smile was soft, and while his eyes glittered, there was nothing teasing about his tone.

“I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to look away, but Richie pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck, I never thought you’d want me,” he chuckled. “Sorry, that was depressing, I just mean I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, you know?”

Eddie beamed, a small, giddy giggle dancing on his lips. “Well it’ll happen sooner if you stop talking so much.” But his smile, and all of the little kisses he planted on Richie’s freckled shoulders told Richie that Eddie never wanted him to stop talking.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, I know I’m hot but you don’t gotta rush me.” Eddie was still giggling when Richie kissed him, and he could feel that Richie was smiling too. “Where’s your lube?”

Eddie stretched his hand out and patted the bed for a moment, searching. After what was probably only four seconds but felt like an eternity, he finally found the bottle and handed it eagerly to Richie. “Oh, right,” Richie smirked, “you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Eddie moaned as Richie swiped his fingers over Eddie’s slick hole, pressing in just a bit. His fingers went in easily, and he pumped them slowly, drawing little, breathy moans out of Eddie. Richie’s fingers were a lot longer and thicker than his own, and they felt amazing, but they weren’t what he wanted in that moment.

“Richie, fuck me,” he whined.

“Aw, no please? Again?” Richie tsked and shook his head, curling his fingers against Eddie’s prostate, making him cry out. “I told you, sweetheart, only good boys who use their manners get fucked.”

“Please,” Eddie cried. He rocked his hips and grabbed at Richie’s shoulders, at his arms, not even sure what his goal was there other than to get Richie closer, to get his attention, to show him how desperate he was. “Please fuck me, please.” He sounded pathetic begging like this, but that just made him harder. And it made Richie’s pupils even wider as he slid his fingers out of Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Good boy,” he purred. Eddie moaned and arched into Richie’s touch, but he only gave Eddie one more kiss on his cheek before pulling back and covering his cock in lube. Eddie watched, entranced, as Richie’s hand moved smoothly over his cock, glistening and slick. Then Richie was gently spreading Eddie’s legs even further and pressing the head of his cock against Eddie’s hole.

“Yes,” Eddie whimpered brokenly, grasping at the sheets beneath him. “Richie, please.” Meeting his gaze, he said softly, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” Richie assured him in a voice that made Eddie feel like he was glowing. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and entwined their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock inside of Eddie, who gasped at the feeling. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his first time was going to be with his favorite person. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting exactly what he wanted. Love flooded through him, warm and perfect, somehow both soothing and electrifying as he watched Richie’s face. Eddie’s mouth dropped as Richie pressed into him, deeper and deeper and still fucking deeper, until finally Richie let out a low moan and Eddie felt absolutely breathless. The stretch was intense, and he held onto Richie tightly as he caught his breath. “Are you alright?” Richie asked. His voice was strained, but the care and concern in it was clear. “You don’t have to take all of it if it’s too much.”

Eddie wanted to laugh at the remark or roll his eyes, but with how breathless and dizzied by pleasure he already was, he had to admit Richie had a point. “Just need a minute,” he gasped. Richie ran a soothing hand over Eddie’s skin, helping him even out his breathing and relax. The feeling of Richie’s cock twitching in anticipation inside of him had him letting out little moans as he adjusted, getting more and more used to the feeling until he felt comfortable enough to tell Richie he could move. Richie kissed him before he did, his lips soft against Eddie’s, a reassuring weight. Eddie breathed in sharply as Richie pulled back, grabbing at Richie’s shoulders.

Richie immediately stopped. “You okay, baby?” he asked, caressing Eddie’s face.

Eddie wanted to melt. Richie was always touching him, always jokingly flirting with him, but this unabashed concern and, well, love had previously been reserved for dire situations, like panic attacks or injuries. Eddie couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed on his face as he tilted his chin up and kissed Richie. “I’m okay,” he said breathlessly. “It’s just a little different from my vibrator.” They both gave a shaky laugh as Richie nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“Better, I hope?” he grinned.

“Can’t tell yet,” Eddie retorted. Another snarky comment was on the tip of his tongue when Richie pulled his hips further back, effectively sucking all the air—and attitude—from Eddie’s chest. And then Richie was pushing back in, and Eddie let out a moan he couldn’t have faked if he tried, relaxing back into the mattress as his eyes fell shut. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, pleasure and relief flooding through his body. They’d been building up this tension for years; Eddie had figured it would feel good to break it, but it really felt magical, like something had just clicked into place. Feeling Richie inside of him, rocking his hips carefully, feeling Richie twitch as he tried not to lose control had Eddie’s head reeling. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on Richie above him, on how flushed his face was. When Richie met his eye, pressing in deep, Eddie let out a small, “Fuck.”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

Richie was smirking as he said it, but there was something else sparkling in his eyes. Something giddy and awed. Something that made Eddie sigh dreamily, “I love you.”

Richie’s eyes widened for a moment before he pressed his lips firmly against Eddie’s, his hands roaming over Eddie’s body like he couldn’t choose where to put them, where to touch him. “I love you so much,” he beamed, pressing a few more kisses to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie giggled at the feeling, but then Richie’s hips moved just a little faster, pressing him in just a little deeper, and he was back to melting under Richie’s touch, clinging to him as he rocked his hips with Richie’s. “Fuck, you’re so amazing, baby, so fucking beautiful. You look so good like this, holy shit.”

Eddie smiled almost drunkenly at Richie’s ability to ramble even when blowing Eddie’s mind. “Feels so good,” he moaned, his voice breathy and just a little bit higher than normal. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. “Please, Richie, please.”

“Fuck, baby, wanna make you feel like this all the fucking time,” Richie groaned as he picked up the pace. Eddie whined in pleasure at the change, and that just spurred Richie to go faster, harder, until he was well and truly fucking Eddie, both of them moaning with every thrust.

“Oh my god,” Eddie cried, “ohmygodohmygodhmygod, oh fuck, Richie, please.” It felt so amazing, Richie fucking into him like this, but he needed that little bit more. His cock was throbbing desperately, achingly hard; he needed to feel Richie’s hand on him. “Richie, please,” he whimpered, “please, please touch me. I need you, I need you so bad, please, Richie.” Eddie was pouting now, grabbing aimlessly at Richie, his legs still wrapped tight around him.

“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Richie marveled, his voice sweet and condescending as he wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie nearly screamed at the contact, his back arching off the bed. Richie laughed a little, which just made Eddie even harder. The way Richie spread his precome over his cock, twisting his wrist just so as he stroked him had that familiar tension coiling in his lower stomach. “Aw, does that feel good? You gonna come on my cock, kitten?”

“Fuck, yes!” Eddie screamed. He gripped at the sheets as Richie stroked him, his voice washing over Eddie, mixing with the pleasure of Richie’s touch, of his thrusts. “Yes, yes, yes, please let me come, please, please, please.”

“That’s a good boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie could feel himself tipping over the edge at the words, at how low and affected Richie’s voice was. He groaned out, “Come on my cock like a good boy, princess,” and pure pleasure crashed over Eddie like a wave. He arched his back and cried out as he came, his moans filling the room as he squirmed under Richie, grabbed at him, at the sheets. It was fucking ethereal. He felt somehow so in tune with his body and yet so detached, like he was floating. He was barely cognizant of what Richie was saying, but when he put the sounds together and realized Richie had just said, panting, “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Eddie felt like a live wire again.

“In me,” he said urgently. His mind was still a little too scattered for full sentences, but he knew what he wanted. God, he felt like he needed it. Like he needed to feel that connected to Richie. “Richie, come inside me, please.”

Richie apparently didn’t need to be told twice; he let out a moaned, “Oh, fuck,” before burying his face in Eddie’s neck, his breathy moans like music in Eddie’s ear. And then, as Eddie was coming down from his own high, he felt the holiest thing in the world: Richie’s cock, twitching inside of him, then his warm come filling Eddie up. It was unreal, being this close to him. Richie clutching at him as he came. It was even better than the little fantasies Eddie occasionally allowed himself. Richie was here, in his arms, pressing kisses to his neck as he caught his breath. Eddie was stroking his hair and rubbing his back as Richie nuzzled into him. Richie’s skin pressed against his skin, his legs wrapped around Richie’s waist, then falling to his sides, but still pressed to him. Still keeping him close. There wasn’t a single thought in his head that wasn’t about Richie.

Richie pulled him from his dreamy haze with light kisses pressed up his jaw, then over his cheeks. Eddie giggled at the onslaught of affection, still reeling from how fucking hot and euphoric what they had just done together had been. But he happily accepted Richie’s kisses, his heart bursting, then racing as Richie pulled back to look in his eyes. “Holy, fuck,” Richie beamed, his face flushed and blue eyes hooded from the weight of his orgasm, even as they sparkled.

“I know,” Eddie said, returning Richie’s grin as he basked in the surreality of having Richie on top of him, his dorky yet charming smile framed by lips that were red and swollen because of Eddie. His glasses were knocked askew, and Eddie instinctively reached up to fix them. With a sense of wonder, he realized that his touch was allowed to linger this time. He ran his fingers down Richie’s cheekbones, over his jaw, cupped his cheeks. “I love you,” he said. The words spilled out over his lips like he couldn’t stand not to say them. And while it made his heart race a little to say it out loud now that the adrenaline and tension was all worked through, it felt even better this time when Richie’s face softened and he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“I love you so fucking much.” Richie’s voice rarely got that soft, that sincere; it felt like a blanket wrapping around Eddie. It felt safe, secure. It felt like a promise. And if there was anyone in the world Eddie knew he could trust, it was Richie. That feeling of everything coming together came back to Eddie as he lay there under Richie, their lips moving together, feeling light as a feather now that everything was finally out in the open.

#reddie #notsfw #reddie smut #reddie fic

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sweetsbfreex · 4 years

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Grandpa Styles

Dating harry styles, was like dating a grandpa; selective at times. That’s the only way to describe it.

Harry being twenty-six and you twenty-two, the age gap wasn't that big a difference, but with harry’s grandpa stature, It made all the difference. After your first date you both head to his place to watch a movie and indulge in some innocent cuddling.

Plopping yourself on the couch, you smiled up at him as he walked around to his spot next to you, two bowls and drinks bottles in his hand.

“what are you feeling for” he asked handing you a bowl

“thank you, uhm maybe something on netflix?” you asked, turning your head towards him.

He looked at you sheepishly, reaching his hand to fiddle with the back of his neck, a tiny smirk on his face.

“i don’t really have that” he stated softly

“...you don’t have netflix?! how do you survive?” mouth agape.

he chuckled at that, the smile not leaving his lips any time soon.

“can i log in? let me show you the wonderful world of The Vampire Diaries”

He hummed his reply, handing you the remote to his tv. just as you were logging into that, you felt the sudden motion of both his arms wrapping around your torso as he pulled you closer to his side.

you looked up at him smiling once again, doing a lot of that when you were around him, pressing play on the remote.

It had been about two months now and his grandpa status only grew more prominent from there. you’re netflix account stayed logged into his tv, even made his own profile which got you a bit (alot) giddy. And finished the vampire diaries together and now you were onto the originals. He surprisingly enjoyed the show, deciding that he was team delena all the way.

But when you texted him that was a different story...

He was currently at a shoot, you couldn’t go since you had zoom classes to attend to. While you waited for the next class to begin you could see your phone lighting up. Opening it you saw that he had sent you a cute mirror picture of the outfit he was about to take photos in.

what do you think baby?

wig! you look so cute h 💓

wig?? i’m not wearing one for this shoot

no h lmaoo, not like that.

y/n we’ve talked about this, english please can barely understand anything you send me half the time lovie

✨no✨ you need to download urban dictionary bub; wig: like something exciting or crazy just happened that made you so shocked that your wig flew off so in short: wig!

so i look good?

you look fantastic bb!!

thank you all it’s needed 🥱

not the emoji...who is this again?? what have u done to my boyfriend

Once he understood something though, he understood. Letting out a triumphant ha! usually followed by something along the lines of ‘understood you this time’ like a cute puppy, you would reward him with kisses all over his face. His friends would see the slight difference in his text and his way with words. Sometimes teasing him with a ‘your becoming y/n’. That only made him and your heart flutter more, knowing there was a slight piece of you in him.

You spent a lot of time on your phone, begrudgingly this was something Harry would try to help you with, “too much screens isn’t good for you love”

While you always rebutted with a “i know, i know but i don't wanna miss this” in the end of course he was right, so by that you always spent at least the first thirty minutes when you woke up away from both of your phones.

in result, whenever you talked to him, he would get very confused on what you meant with all the slang that he just doesn’t pay attention to.

Lying in bed, arms wrapped around each other and your face in his chest while you told him one of the dumbest, but fondest memories you had with your friends.

“why would you do something that dangerous”

“well excuse me mr. bit my tongue off, i don’t know it was fun, can you let me live” you groaned out.

“let. you. live?...what are you doing now”

“h, you’re such a grandpa, you know that?” you giggled, pinching his cheek

he pinched your side with the arm that was caressing your back, “heyyyy, i’m not a grandpa you’re just weird”

“nope, everyone sees it, but it’s okay you’re a cute grandpa, even have the outfits to match it” you said reaching up to kiss his fake pout.

“this is why you call me grandpa all the time” he retracted his head to look at you, a incredulous look on his face.

it was true, after you first learned he didn’t have netflix, was always confused with what you said or sent, his music taste, and the outfits! you couldn’t help yourself it was a done deal. He was just an old man in an cute guys’ body.

“mhmm they call you grandpa styles”

i’ve had this in my head for soooo long i just needed to get it out, kind of all over the place and messy so i’ll maybe edit it later, kinda wanna make a part 2 idkkk

if you enjoyed pls don’t forget to reblog or give feedback if ur up to it <3

#harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles #harry styles reader insert #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #kinda wanna make a part 2 of this #harry styles fics

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whothehellisdante · 2 years

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It’s true and it’s great to create things for yourself without caring about third parties because you have all the freedom to do whatever you like in your own way and you don’t have to worry about upsetting anyone but it’s also true that a creator’s supply of motivation is finite and to publish your work without seeing any engagement and/or next to no interest starts to bring down morale and you can’t help but sometimes wonder why the heck you’re going to so much trouble putting in your best with your content, making your posts presentable, providing as much information as you can, listing every goddamn tag you can think of, etc. when your work gets no more than two views, one like, no reblogs and no comments. (I’m talking mainly about fan fiction because fan art takes much less time to digest, send its message, draw a reaction, have a decision made toward it. A picture is worth a thousand words and, let’s be real, less people want to bother reading a thousand words.)

Like, I mean, for better or worse, pointlessly or otherwise, you’re putting your shit up on a public platform because there is a hope and a desire, no matter how small, to have said shit noticed and maybe earn some praise for your ideas, or your execution of them, or the fact that you tried, or whatever. You do want some encouragement, some support, some added motivation, some acknowledgement. Even a little, but...not so little that it feels intangible, either. So while I am creating content that’s self-indulgent and mainly meant to please me, it’d be nice if it didn’t perpetually feel that way, if it didn’t always feel like I have an audience of one. Kudos and hits and likes are nice, but they are vague and they don’t tell me how you really felt about the piece. Content creators are excited idiots like other consumers and we want to be excited with you over the shit we make.

Without positive drive, the desire does dwindle. Motivation does take a hit. Feedback is the single-most important display of your “liking” a thing (reblogs/sharing comes second in my opinion). And if you don’t want to leave feedback on the work, go to the creator’s social media and directly message them. Comment on their posts, or use tags to express yourself. Let them know that you liked the thing they did! Use five words, or ten, or a bunch of emojis. Receiving positive feedback helps content creators keep going, believe it or not. Gives us one more reason to put in our best, our care, our enthusiasm. I've been leaving multiple comments on the fics I've been reading because it feels good to make people in your own shoes happy, just because you told them how much you liked what they were doing. They feel good, you feel good, the work goes on, and you get more of it. Friendships can start that way, too, heck, if communication keeps going.

All I’m saying is...leave a comment. Share if you can, but if you don’t, comment. And if you do share, comment.

#Ooze speaks #why do I have to feel bad whenever I bring this up? like I'm hounding for attention??#I'm not: I really am writing my fics for myself; first and foremost #but sometimes I have ideas I just wanna share #because it's nice to make a human connection with someone else who might feel the same way you do??#who might like what you like???#ugh I hate sounding this way #anyway I'm in the middle of smut so I'll just get back to that

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keigosbirdie · 3 years

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Birdie’s FAQ

General Questions

Q. Do you have a Patreon?

A. Firstly, thanks to everyone who has asked me this. It means a lot that you guys wanna support me! However, I don’t feel comfortable monetizing my fanworks. I don’t have a Patreon and I don't plan on it, sorry! ;u;

Q. Do you take requests or commission?

A. Nope! I may open some art requests or commissions maybe if I ever get in a really hard spot, but I don’t accept money for writing. Sorry! ;u;

Q. You didn't answer my ask/pm!

A. Frankly, I'm shy ;u; im far more likely to answer an ask than I am a PM, just cause im scarrrreeed. If I don't answer an ask, it's either already been answered here, it was mean spirited or forceful, or i just havent looked at my asks in a while hhaha. Please keep in mind I'm exceptionally introverted and don't usually talk much oof im sorry :(

Art FAQ

Q. What do you use to draw and animate?

A. I draw and animate with paint tool SAI v.1! The program isn’t meant for animation. I just draw all the frames in paint tool sai and then run them through a gif compiler to make them move.

Q. Can I use your art for headers, icons and emotes?

A. As long as you credit me in some way, you can definitely use my animations and art as icons, header for your blog, and discord emoji.

Q. Can I repost your art on other sites?

A. Sure, as long as it isn’t tumblr or twitter, since I’m active in those places already and reposted art will be reported. However, if you want to post it on your Instagram, Pinterest, or what have you, feel free as long as my signature is visible and I’m linked somewhere !

Fanfiction FAQ

Q. Can I use your fics for my fanfiction readings? (ex. Youtube)

A. Ask me! Most fics I probably won’t mind as long as I am credited and a link to the fic is posted in the description. However, there may be a select few I would rather not, so drop me a line and we can talk about it!

Q. Do you write for any other fandoms/characters?

A. Nope! I’m only interested in Hawks from BNHA, so that’s all I write! Hah. Eventually one day I may become interested enough in another character to write something for them, but also probably not ;u;

Q. Do you write “dark” content, like Yandere or non!con?

A. Generally speaking, no. If I ever got a really good idea I can’t shake down the road, the “Yandere” dynamic may be a lightly used possibility. To the point it probably wouldn’t even be yandere tbh tho hah. Non!con will never appear in my fics, though. Anything generally abhorrent you can be sure I won’t write about. HOWEVER, I do occasionally reblog fics others may find triggering. Always read the warnings authors leave before taking peeks!

Q. I don't like that you often describe things about the reader in your fics. Such as cheeks going red, pink nipples, or their gender.

A. All of my fanfictions are written about myself with me in mind. I try to stray away from outright describing reader by physical traits, since i want everyone to feel included! But at the end of the day I am one person with a world view limited to my own experiances. There will be times its obvious I have fair skin/certain type of hair/particular body features in my writing. I try to be as vague as possible, but please keep in mind the author here is a fair skinned cis female, and I write as a form of escapism with myself in mind first.

Q. You haven’t posted anything in a while! Are you still writing?

A. Yes! I like to take my sweet sweet time with my fanfictions, and im never rushing or in a hurry to update. Sometimes I work on a piece and decide to keep it for myself and not share at all, if its too personal or special to me. I love writing a lot, and if i havent updated in a while be sure to know I havent stopped. Im just enjoying the process of creating without worrying about any deadlines, and that can take weeks to a few months.

Q. There was something in one of your fics I think there should have been a warning for!

A. Tell me !! I try to add warnings for anything that I can think could be upsetting to readers, but if you have a suggestion for me to add more warnings in the future, feel free to send me a message. I would appreciate it ;u;

Q. Do you have a tag list for your fanfics?

A. Sorry, I no longer use a taglist! I do post all my fics on my AO3, Keigosbirdie, however. You can get emails when I update by following me there :)

I may add to this later if I get repeats of other questions! Thanks for reading ;u;

#FAQ #Yandere mention #yandere

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artemiseamoon · 3 years

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Announcement & Account update

Just wanted to say thank you to the support system & amazing readers on here who have been so supportive and just amazing. (Masterlist linked at the bottom & in bio for now)

Thank you to the friends I met. My rant below is not about you, you are golden & literally keep me from deleting my works which I’m so temped to do.

I really do battle if it’s worth it posting on this site anymore. And I’m feeling shitty again with busting out content, well thought out and visual content, to only get 90% likes. It sucks. We are in a scroll & like culture.

For the last 6 months, it has not felt worth it. I feel like I’m getting 10% back what I give out. Except for the amazing core ppl who do remind me why I do this. Or the random comment that literally makes my day.

I almost deleted two days ago and three comments made me stay. See, you gotta interact & talk to the writers. Like their stuff? Say something. Throw a gif in the comments. Something. Tumblr IS instagram now and it sucks. I’m completely disheartened.

And it’s hard to not-notice, things getting reblog fed of a similar vein from other writers BUT the same followes only ever “like” my stuff. Never reblogs or comments. Why follow me then? I don’t get it.

It may seem like whining but unless you are a major account no one sees your stuff without reblogs. Literally it’s how fics get exposure. That’s how it works. We are not making that shit up.

And comments? Even just emojis?gifs? It shows the reader some damn love. We write for free, a reaction wouldn’t kill anyone or a smile. If you can’t repost for whatever reason, the fic doesn’t mix with your aesthetic? but you liked it? would it hurt to throw a smiley face in the comments?

Sure likes are nice, and lots of us, me included like things to save them. It’s my “for later” method. But once I read I always say something, even if it’s an emoji cause I’m tired or whatever. Even if it takes me months to get to it, (ex: long ass read list) once I read, I’ll say something.

I can’t help but think it’s personal sometimes or that since I’m not part of the fandom famous accounts my stuff just matters less. Or, man I hate to go here but, is it because I’m a black woman writing in the fandoms with diverse ofcs? I don’t know.

To be clear as day, writing is my LOVE! My mode of communicating. I write to clear my mind, to heal, to explore and create worlds. Still, when posting publicly it’s hard as fuck to ignore the above. No I am not a robot, I can’t just ignore it. Thought I could. I can’t.

Sure, I post for myself too but when you create content that takes time, love, etc & just mainly get likes back it fucking sucks. I don’t enjoy it. And if you see ppl who follow you comment/reblog other people’s stuff and not yours it sucks even more.

One comment has the power to inspire a writer or help them keep writing a fic they were ready to abandon. This even happened to me with a fic, I was ready to trash it until one person told me what it meant to them. See that power?

One reaction photo. One series of emojis. Whatever. One repost can expose a fic to endless more people. Shy or afraid to write? Send love though anon! Personally, Anon love has literally made my day more than once.

I miss how it used to be here.

When did interacting & reblogging become taboo? When did writers start “asking for too much” by hoping people show their work some love?

I’ve even see posts circulating where people say they won’t reblog if the see someone ask. What kind of immature bullshit is that? So you want to consume free content then punish us or “rebel” if we ask for some support to be cool? Like wtf? That makes you cool somehow? What the fuck is happening?????

I need to decide what I’m going to do. Until then I don’t have answers. Again, this is not about those who have been supportive even if it’s just an emoji now and then.

For now, I’ll be here but I dont know after that. I do plan to finish the remaining request & a few wips in the meantime.

If you are looking for it, here is the masterlist

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thinkingaboutirlstreams · 2 years

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- spam away lads (i see u and i love that we have similar interests, tis doesn’t bother me at all)

- send asks (i have no advanced knowledge or anything but if you’d like to hear me thoughts and express yours feel free to do so!)

HELLO THERE THE PEOPLE

i see lots making these so hey here’s mine

introduction: (no one asked but i want to comeout to everyone cuz i can’t irl <3)

- nicknames: Hoodie, Beez (short for ‘bee deez nuts’ dont judge me ;-;)

- non-binary, asexual

- pronouns: any pronouns except for “it” (he/they/any neopronouns/she -listed from most preferred to least preferred)

- can use whatever to call be tbh i love being a girlboss, bossman, etc… :)

- I’m Am in other words when you slam the keys A C E (haha sorry i had to)

- also btw when i use gurlies, men, dudes, kings, queens, etc…. tis meant for everyone & anyone

- me like emojis 💅🏻👀🌝😎🐝🧍🐮✨🌈💀

- be comfy

whats this blog’s about:

- mcyt stuff (mostly dsmp, mostly sbi and benchtrio, mostly tommy related)

- updates on streams, youtube videos (well when i myself caught them)

- gender stuff (cuz im rolling with the lgbt)

- sometimes random shit that i think about, life updates (that no one asked for but heh)

- sometimes doodles and drawings (with paper cuz i haven’t figured out wacom and drawing apps yet) —> tagged as #hoodie’s art

- streamers’ memes :D

- reblogs of arts that i find nice (digital arts, videos, edits, poems, texts, etc… anything that i find nice really) —> tagged as #nice arts

- reblogs of dream smp & origins smp tommy lore analysis —> tagged as #c!tommy analysis

- ao3 fics recommendations (all with tommy as the protagonist or one of the main characters)

—> tagged as #tommyinnit fics or #fics recs

- a lil thing i do is take funny quotes from streams/vids out of context —> tagged as #correct mcyt quotes

- i discovered thinking —> tagged as #thinking random thoughts

- my thoughts are hot? —> tagged as #hot takes(?)

- i will always try my best to provide contexts, tone indicators, sources of the clips, images, etc… that i post/reblog but i might forget sometimes (if u wanna ask sth just ask tis totally okay :D/gen)

- use of profanity might be prominent in certain posts 👉👈 just casual swearin’ (i mean this is a tommyinnit main so…..👁👄👁.. when im sleep deprived or rushing deadlines there will be cussin’ 👀, usually i don’t swear too much tho dw)

what this blog’s not about:

- any twitter’s drama stuff (stresses me out n’ shit so i blissfully live in ignorance, i will still be healthily informed but i won’t post about them on this specific blog)

- any morally, legally wrong stuff (eg: discriminative stuff)

this is my side blog that’s all for fun so I’m just here, thanks for following, liking, reblogs <3

#this is me #hello #tis all about me #like that lyric in ycgma

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 4 years

Note

out of love by alessia cara + calum for that lovely angst

Thanks for your song and patience!

Please consider supporting me on ko-fi.

I’m debating on whether or not to continue song blurbs. Your support really helps me out, reblog if you enjoy.

____________________________

Routines

He first notices it in himself.

It doesn’t set off the alarm suddenly. Ashton’s really the first one to see it. He asks about you, how you are settling into the new job, and when Calum answers with a placid good, Ashton gives him a look. Like how could good be the only word that Calum had when it came to you. But Ashton doesn’t push it, he nods and says that he’s glad you’re happy with your job and in a place more aligned with what you wanted.

Calum can’t seem to recall when you started the new job. But it couldn’t have been for more than a day or two. He had just taken you out for dinner as a celebration. Calum excuses himself to the bathroom, racking his brain because surely he wasn’t going insane. But when he scrolls through the text messages from you, he sees the dinner was nearly two and a half weeks go. It’s just his memory, with the latest album things have started to blur just a little and he can’t seem to keep anything straight anymore.

Calum fucks up the routine.

Not that he meant it maliciously. There’s an order to the day that you’ve gotten accustomed to. You waking first and cook breakfast. Calum sluggishly pulls himself to at least have his morning coffee with you--you go to work. He catches up on emails, takes Duke out for his walk if he manages not to doze off again, goes to the studio. You get back--there’s always a note left in Calum’st mostly uppercase penmanship if Duke needs a walk. You relax, fix dinner. Calum comes homes, reheats his plate if it’s gone late, you two talk, laughing at the dining room table as you sip on tea.

Calum doesn’t come down for his morning coffee once. You sit, bag at your feet with ten minutes before you have to leave for work. And you sit, and sit, and sit, wringling your thumbs and picking at your nails. The bedroom door never creaks open.

In the car, your phone rings. Calum’s name and photo on the screen. “I know you haven’t left yet. Get out of the car so I can give you your morning kiss.” His voice is gruff, still thick with sleep. You bite your lip and laugh, heart-expanding at the fact that you didn’t have to leave Calum without your morning kiss.

You leave the car running, and jump back out. Calum stands, sans shirt but in sweatpants, on the porch. Duke, who you took out earlier, wagging his tail at his feet. Calum’s clearly tired, eyes puffier than usual. The close crop can’t really be fussed about, but as the length slowly grows back you can see it’s flattened from his sleep. He flashes a quick smile and an open embrace. “Morning,” you laugh, kissing him quickly.

“Morning. You look good by the way.” He gives you another kiss, to make up for him oversleeping. “Have a great day.”

You nod. “You too rockstar.”

When your car pulls out of the driveway and down the block, Calum steps back into the house. He hums, still tired and collapses onto the couch. There’s not a lot of guilt, mostly just thoughts of sleep.

Around one that day his phone buzzes. A picture from you of the latest addition in dogs you see on your lunch break. He replies with a couple heart eye emojis, grinning at the stern-looking German shepherd. Cutest bub around, he types.

Don’t let them hear you say that. Looks like they wouldn’t take too kindly. Love you, babe.

Love you too. He goes to send the text but his fingers take pause. When’s the last time he called you doll? He used to use it all the time. Calum erases his period and adds a coma before his fingers add more. Love you too, doll.

Calum really knows something is happening when you take pause at the bedroom door. His duffel bag, unzipped, and half full. Your voice cracks as you speak. “What are you doing?” You don’t want the scene to send you into a panic but you have no clue why Calum would be packing a suitcase, without warning. He always gave you a week’s notice at the very least--sometimes shows and events kind of popped up.

“The writing retreat?” He could’ve sworn he told you about the four day trip up the coast. Not going out of the state at all, just a few hours out of the way. It was in the works since last week. Why would he not bring it up to you?

“The what? How long?”

“I--I told you. It’s only four days. Going up the coast just to write for a little bit. Some guys up there want in a couple tracks. I told you this, baby.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did. I had to have told you.” But he can see the tears welling in your eyes and the way your lower lip has started to wobble. “Please, please God tell me I told you?”

You shake your head. Throat seizing up on you. God, you wanted to feel stupid for thinking he was leaving--nevermind the fact this was his house. But lately, over the last few months, things felt different, off, distant. It wasn’t the end, you told yourself. It couldn’t have been. Calum always made things up, he was imperfect like everyone else. But not telling you about having to go away, it’s the final straw.

Calum steps over his bag, arms lifting to cradle you. You take a small step back, with a shake of your head. It hurts to swallow, the squeezing in your chest is not helping. “You don’t talk to me anymore.” The admission is choked as it leaves your lips. You haven’t let out a full sob, but you feel it beating at your lungs and ribs.

“I’m sorry. I just forgot.”

The look Ashton gave Calum months ago comes flooding back. The heaviness to his eyes, the pull of his brow. Ashton wasn’t confused. Calum was the last to realize it. He was the last one to see the thing happening. If this had been a bad dream, Calum would’ve woken with a cold sweat. When his mouth gapes and his eyes pull together, you turn, clutching your sleeves into your fist to wipe your eyes.

“Wait, please!”

He still loved you. He did. He still loved you.

But he hadn’t call doll in ages. He didn’t hold your hand in bed anymore. He didn’t drink his morning coffee with you. He hummed when you talked about work. He hadn’t even meant to do this. It’s not even like Calum felt bored--maybe a little bogged down. But not bored. Things were so good.

You can’t even hide in the house before you turn the corner to the spare bedroom, Calum’s gently taking your elbow to slow you down. What was happening? What was he doing wrong? “Talk to me now. Please?”

That sob, finally makes itself known, scratching over your throat. You pull your joint of his grasp but don’t face him. You can feel the heat of him on your back as he stands, inches, maybe even centimeters behind you, but have no physical contact. “You haven’t had breakfast with me in two months.”

“I have--two months?”

You nod. “You haven’t called about being late home. I still fix you dinner though, knowing that you’re not going to show up until whatever wee hour in the morning. You used to buy me flowers just for no reason and even though I seemed to kill each one with just a look, you kept buying them.”

Calum racks his brain. He bought some. It couldn’t have been all that long ago. He bought some for Valentine’s Day and then more a week later. It was only July now. “Fuck,” he whispers at the realization. “Five months?”

You nod. “Five months.”

You might have naively wondered if people stopped loving each other or if it just they forgot how to love the other person. But here, now, looking at the beige walls of this bedroom you thought the former was definitely more likely.

“I’m sorry.” It’s the only thing Calum can say. It’s the only words his mouth can work around and get out. He loved you. He really did.

“Ashton asked me if everything was okay with us. And I had to tell him the truth. That I wasn’t sure.”

“It’s not you. I need you to know that it wasn’t you at all,” he urges, finally taking your hand and you let him. You even turn, standing toe to toe with him. “I loved you. Through and through I loved you.”

It’s not even a sad revelation. Somehow it feels mundane to hear it. You knew all along that something had happened. You just didn’t want to believe it. But it’s obvious that things had just run out of juice. Your lip wobbles again and you can feel it, hear the tremors as you speak. It’s probably a stupid thing to admit, but it feels right. You unwind your fingers and speak, “I love you.”

Wiping your eyes, you look to the floor. The earth hasn’t shattered. You thought it might. And it’s not a last-ditch effort to save a dying thing. It’s just a statement of truth, just the bone grinding honest truth. Your teeth ache just a little as you continue to speak. “Know that even when I saw the end of the tunnel, and I was staring it down every goddamn day, I actively loved you. I still love you. But I-I can’t keep doing this. Lying to myself.”

Calum nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I-I never meant to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It might be too late for that.”

His chest nearly caves. He takes a staggering step back and the tears that were threatening to spill and tell all his secrets fall down his cheek. The ink of his truth now tracking down his cheeks. He had hurt you in probably the worst way possible. Holding onto a routine and pretending to give out love. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”

“We all do stupid things for love,” you croak your laughter leaves in bursts and occasionally choked off by a sob. “We all do stupid things for love.”

Like lying to yourself, or turning a blind eye to things. There’s just a moment, you lean into the wall right outside the guest bedroom and Calum leaning into the door of the hall closet. Neither one of you can look at each other. Your arms are wrapped around your stomach, the pain from your chest now spreading down your body. Calum just feels heavy, even numb because he can’t believe he had drug you through that. Waiting day in and day out for him to either snap out of it or maybe even into reality. Waiting for yourself to come to that realization too.

He opens his mouth, staring up at his ceilings with more tears threatening to fall down his cheek.

“Don’t say you're sorry again. Please don’t.”

“What can I say? What can I do to make this better?”

“Nothing.”

-H

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