#it’s the first time I’ve fronted since he wore this I feel so normal rn

[natsfirecat]

Okay! Here’s my request:

Natasha x asexual reader (female),where Natasha confesses her feelings for the reader, but the reader reluctantly rejects her. So after turning down Natasha’s declaration of love, the reader can’t stand seeing Natasha all beaten down and upset, so the reader confesses that she is asexual, telling Natasha that she deserves to be with someone who can give her everything and satisfy her needs. That the reader won’t be enough, no matter how much in love she is with Natasha. But little does the reader know, Natasha doesn’t want those needs, but you.

What do you think? 😃🖤💜🤍

Enough

pairing: Natasha Romanoff x asexual fem reader

word count: 3.5k

summary: much to her dismay, r has to reject her crush, natasha

warnings: swearing, drinking, mentions of sex and sexual attraction, lmk if i need to add any more

A/N: thank you for this request! i love writing for asexual reader sm! i hope you like it, and remember that aces are valid and amazing! :D

also not proofread very well. i'm tired and too lazy rn lmao

You fiddled with your ring, staring blankly at the wall. You had just gotten home from a mission, and needed some time to rest up.

The mission had gone well, you went with Natasha. Your task was to stop a HYDRA attack on civilians. Everything went as planned, and there were no casualties.

Now that you were back, all you wanted to do was rest up and relax.

So, you did just that.

You only woke a few hours later because of Natasha calling you, saying that you had to debrief the mission.

So you reluctantly got out of bed, and made your way to the meeting room.

Fury was there, reading files, and Natasha sat in her usual seat. Her face lit up when you walked in, then she waved and motioned for you to sit down.

As Fury started going over the mission, you just gave short, straight to the point answers to his questions.

It wasn’t until Natasha gave a detailed summary that he let you leave.

While walking out the room, she stopped you.

“Are you going to Tony’s party tonight?”

“Wanda’s making me,”

She laughed, knowing that you most definitely would not be going to a social gathering unless one of your friends forced you.

“Well, I think it’ll be fun. I’ll see you there,”

You were about to shrug and go on a rant about how Tony’s parties were very much overrated, but she simply waved goodbye and made her way down the hallway back to her room.

You were about to do the same before you felt someone tap your arm from behind.

You whipped around, then grinned to see Carol.

“You’ve been back and haven’t seen me yet?”

“Sorry…” you muttered, suddenly feeling guilty.

“You can make it up to me by getting me food,”

You rolled your eyes, then agreed, knowing you would get yourself food too.

She gave you a satisfied smile before beginning to walk down the steps towards the garage of cars.

She stepped into the driver’s seat of course, while you followed behind in the passenger’s seat.

“IHOP?” She asked, despite the fact that it was 3:00 in the afternoon.

“Yes!”

“Great, you’re buying!”

You rolled your eyes, already knowing she would say that.

“So how’d the mission go?” She asked.

“It was fine, nothing exciting happened.

“As soon as we convince Fury to let you come to space with me for missions, things will get a lot more exciting for you,”

You smiled, then chuckled at her statement.

She would talk to you about space all the time, and you had often expressed interest in it. So she took it upon herself to make a slideshow presentation about why you should be allowed to go with her to space. It still needed some work, but she was absolutely planning on presenting it to Fury when it was done.

“Where will you take me?”

“Well we’d start off with something close, maybe not exit the galaxy neighborhood quite yet,”

You laughed again, looking forward to your space adventures with your best friend.

-

Carol had eaten about a quarter of her food before she broke the silence,

“So I heard you tell Natasha that you’re going tonight,”

“Yeah,” you said with a shrug, choosing to stare at your pancakes instead of making eye contact.

“Well that’s good, maybe you guys can talk and…”

“And what?” You were beginning to get a little irritated.

“Oh come on! We both know how you feel. Why can’t you just talk with her about it?”

“You know why, Carol,” you said as you subconsciously began to fidget with the black ring you always wore on the middle finger of your right hand.

She sighed, not wanting to fight you on this. So she went back to eating her pancakes, and didn’t say another word about it to you.

-

As you reluctantly promised, you were at the party that night. Not wanting to engage too much, you stood off at the edge of the room, taking a small sip of your drink.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Wanda and Natasha talking. You thought nothing of it, until you saw Wanda wink at her.

You turned your head to the side, then accidentally made eye contact.

Quickly shifting your gaze to the floor, you took another sip of your drink to hide your embarrassment.

You then decided to walk away, not wanting to create any more awkward tension.

You made your way into the next room until you almost bumped into Sam, who gave you a weird look as he stepped away from you.

“You alright, L/N?” He asked.

“I’m good!” You told him, quickly walking away.

When you finally got to the corner of the other room, you took a deep breath. You finally let yourself relax against the wall, away from the person you wanted to avoid tonight.

You closed your eyes for a minute, pretending you weren’t here.

For just a moment, it worked; you weren’t a loud, crowded party. You were just happy in your room watching movies and eating popcorn. No one was bothering you, and you didn’t have to worry about anything.

Unfortunately, your moment didn’t last.

Your eyes opened again when you heard your name called several times. Standing in front of you, was Natasha.

You noticed both Wanda and Carol standing at the door, watching the both of you.

“Hi, Y/N,” she said, her voice shakier than normal. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about, can we talk somewhere more private?”

You nodded, then began to follow her back the way you came until you were in another hallway that didn’t have anyone in it.

“Y/N,” she began. “I’ve always liked you as a person, I think you’re brilliant on the field, and I just love being around you. I feel these things around you, and it’s scary. But there’s something between us, I can feel it, and I think you feel it too. I’d like to explore these feelings, so… would you want to go out together… on a date?”

You let out a sigh as your heart dropped. You felt tears coming to your eyes as you thought about what she was saying to you. As much as it would hurt both of you, you had to do it.

“I’m really sorry, Natasha, but no. I can’t.”

“Oh-” she was taken aback from your response, unable to hide the disappointment in her voice. “This was stupid, you’re right. I’m sorry for even asking in the first place, I-” she couldn’t even finish her sentence before walking off, leaving you alone.

-

Two days later, Natasha had barely left her room. She stayed under the covers, mostly trying to sleep. Of course, it eventually turned into hours of staring at the ceiling while her stomach was in knots.

So, she took a sip from the bottle of vodka she brought up to her room, and leaned back against the headboard.

As soon as she felt tears forming in her eyes, she grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. She watched the saddest movies and TV shows she could think of, and ended up finishing the entire bottle.

If she was going to be sad and cry, it would be from too much drinking while watching sad stuff. It wouldn’t be from you. Natasha refused to let herself cry over a simple rejection.

But it wasn’t a simple rejection.

She’s had these feelings for you for months.

Your smile has made her heart flutter since your first mission with her. She vividly remembers the way your eyes lit up when you found out you were paired with her.

The two of you ended up working so well together. At the end of the mission, you held both your hands up for a double high five. The gesture confused her at first, but she eventually gave in and placed her hands against yours. That’s when you gave her the same smile that still gives her butterflies.

She didn’t even start to notice it until a few months ago, when Clint called her out on it. He noticed that your name was brought up in their conversations a lot. So he blatantly asked her what her feelings for you were.

Of course, she denied everything at first. You were just a friend who was nice to work with. Nothing more.

She didn’t fully realize it until Wanda called her out on it too.

You were eating breakfast, and Natasha’s eyes never left you. You exchanged smiles a few times, and the butterfly feeling in her stomach kept growing.

Wanda saw, feeling a smile grow on her face as she glanced between the two of you. Of course, her powers made this even more fun for her.

While she didn’t usually like to invade people’s private thoughts, especially her friends’, Natasha’s thoughts were loud. Yours too.

So after you got up, and waved goodbye to the both of them, Wanda immediately cornered Natasha. Normally, she wouldn’t do something like that to the assassin, but she felt okay with it considering that her thoughts of you softened her up a bit.

“So, when are you planning on asking Y/N out?” She asked her.

“What are you talking about?”

“You guys would make such a good couple, you should ask her out!”

“Absolutely not! We’re just friends,”

Wanda let out a huff, then rolled her eyes.

“You seem to forget that I’m a telepath,”

This time, Natasha rolled her eyes at her.

“Stay out of my head, Maximoff,”

And with that, she walked away, not wanting to talk about it any longer.

Of course, Wanda had other plans.

The next week, she made mental notes of how the two of you would interact. No matter how much you both denied it, she knew you had feelings for each other.

While you smiled around everyone, you smiled the most around her. Your eyes would light up, and you’d be grinning from ear to ear. And your smile would usually cause her to reciprocate it. She rarely smiled, but she was okay with you seeing her smile.

On top of that, Wanda noticed all the small gestures you would do for each other.

She would pack your bag for missions often, and you would share your food with her.

While both of those things could be seen as platonic, she knew better. You definitely had feelings for each other.

So when she brought it up to Natasha again, she couldn’t even deny it this time.

“Tell anyone, and I’ll make you feel pain you didn’t even know could be felt,” Natasha threatened her.

Wanda nodded, promising that she only wanted to help her.

Eventually, the assassin gave in and let her plan the whole thing out.

It would work out in the end, it had to.

-

Now, Natasha let out a growl of frustration as Wanda entered her room.

“Can you at least knock?”

“I’m worried about you, Nat,”

Despite her glares, Wanda continued walking towards her until she sat down on the foot of her bed.

“Why do you even care? You lied to me, you said it would work!”

“I really thought it would, I’m so sorry. But you can’t keep yourself locked in here, we’re all worried about you,”

“I can’t face her after I humiliated myself like that. Why would you tell me she had feelings for me too? You said you could tell from her thoughts, but she clearly doesn’t see me that way. Now I’ve probably ruined my friendship with her too.”

“I don’t know why that happened,”

“Please, just leave me alone.”

Letting out a disappointed sigh, Wanda realized this would get her nowhere. Natasha still needed a bit more time.

As she saw her friend leave the room, she finally allowed the tears to fall again.

She hated herself for it, but maybe she actually was crying over you.

-

It wasn’t like you were doing any better.

You only left your room to train with Carol, and to bring food back up to your room since you didn’t want to eat with everyone else.

You couldn’t help but notice the way Wanda glared at you when you passed her in the hallway. You ended up glaring right back, surprised by her sudden hostility towards you.

The two of you had been relatively close, but she was especially close with Natasha. You knew you had hurt her with your rejection, but in the end, you were doing her a favor.

She’d understand that eventually, and hopefully, so would Wanda.

For now, you lay in bed. You were clinging tightly onto your pillow, letting a few sobs escape.

Even though you knew the rejection was for the best, for both you and Natasha, it didn’t make it hurt any less.

You were only saving the both of you from future heartbreak. It would be worth it eventually. Soon enough, you’d both get over it and go back to being the friends you once were.

However, now you continued crying into your pillow.

You wished you could just turn feelings on and off with a switch, but you couldn’t. It would make things so much easier if these feelings didn’t exist in the first place.

You had tried to suppress and deny them at first.

You ignored the way you felt yourself smiling more at her. You ignored the way you felt like you were on top of the world when she returned your smile. You ignored the way your stomach turned into a knot of nerves whenever you touched; whether it was a full on hug or just fingers brushing past each other in the hallway.

When she sat next to you on movie night though, closer than she normally did, that’s when you realized you couldn’t ignore the feelings anymore.

You wanted to completely close the distance between the two of you, and snuggle completely into her. You wanted to kiss her, and hold her tight. You wanted everything to do with her.

But you couldn’t have her, and it hurt like hell.

-

After another two days, Carol came barging into your room.

“Y/N, what the fuck?” She said, getting straight to the point.

Your eyes widened, but you said nothing as she sat down and glared at you.

“You’ve been sulking for days, and haven’t done anything about it,”

You shrugged, sinking back father into the bed.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Talk to her!”

“No! I’m just gonna stay here until my feelings go away,”

“Y/N, I love you, platonically, but sometimes you’re the dumbest person I know,”

“Thanks, Carol,”

“Your feelings aren’t gonna magically go away like that. If you don’t wanna date her, then at least talk to her so you can both have some closure on this!”

“I can’t, she’d never understand and it’d just be a whole thing, and I don’t want that,”

“You explained it to me and I understood,”

“Well yeah, cuz it doesn’t affect you at all. It affects her because it’s the reason I can’t be with her,”

“Have you ever thought to consider that maybe she wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course she’d mind, Carol,”

Sighing, your best friend decided she wasn’t gonna win this battle today.

Despite her anger towards you, she still reached over and hugged you before getting up and leaving.

Once again, you were left alone in your own misery.

You began to fidget with your ring, staring at the flag on your wall. The black, grey, white, and purple colors stood out against the wall, adding a nice touch to your room.

You were obviously proud and unashamed of who you were, but that didn’t change the fact that so many people didn’t understand it. So it was just easier to not bring it up. Maybe one day you could find someone like you, who’d understand.

Tears began to fill your eyes as you thought about Natasha. You hated that you had to do this.

You weren’t even sure if you would be able to salvage your friendship at the end of this. That just made everything worse.

You lay back down again, clinging onto the pillow once more.

You remembered the way you felt when Natasha first smiled at you. You remembered the happiness she made you feel. You remembered just how much you wanted to be around her.

Luckily, your thoughts of misery finally stopped when you managed to fall asleep.

-

The next day, Carol dragged you out of your room. Literally dragged, she grabbed both your wrists and pulled you out of the bed until you hit the floor.

“Ow! What the fuck?”

“No more sulking, you’re getting up and not coming back to your room until tonight. Let’s go,”

You sighed in defeat, then stood up, following her out of your room.

She dragged you downstairs to the kitchen, where she already had breakfast laying out for you.

As annoyed as you were with her, you definitely thought it was sweet that she was going through all this effort for you.

So you sat down and began eating, forcing a smile. You were still hurting, but for now, you could fake it in front of your friend.

She sat down next to you, and seemed satisfied.

You gave a small smile, then continued eating.

It was progress.

-

When Natasha finally came down, you were the last person she expected to see. Her bloodshot, puffy eyes widened as she saw you with Carol.

She immediately looked away, not wanting to face you, especially like this.

Unfortunately for her, you had already made eye contact for a moment. You took in her appearance, letting out a deep exhale.

She refused to say anything, then turned around as if she had never been there in the first place.

As soon as she left, you turned back to Carol.

“I really messed up, didn’t I?”

-

As much as the logical part of your mind tried to convince you not to do this, the other part was currently making you.

So now, you stood outside Natasha’s bedroom, hand hovering over the door, prepared to knock.

You took in a few deep breaths, trying to prepare yourself. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open before you were ready.

“Y/N?” Natasha didn’t expect to see you after what happened. “What are you doing?”

“Can we please talk?”

She frowned, thinking about what happened the last time you two talked. But, she opened the door wider, letting you in.

You walked over to her bed, waiting for her to nod, giving you permission to sit down.

“I just wanted to start off by saying that I’m really sorry for this, for hurting you like that,”

“You don’t need to apologize. You can’t change how you feel.”

“I know, but here’s the thing; I have feelings for you too,”

Her eyes widened in both shock and confusion.

“Then why’d you say no?”

You took in a few more deep breaths, preparing yourself.

“I’m asexual,” you finally got out. “While I feel romantic attraction to you, and really like you, I’m not sexually attracted to you. I’m not sexually attracted to anyone.”

She tilted her head to the side, but continued listening as you went on.

“So as much as I do like you, it’s not fair for us to be together. You deserve someone who can give you everything you want and need in a relationship, and I can’t do that.” You told her, trying to prevent yourself from crying. “No matter how much I love you, I won’t be enough,”

That’s what broke you, causing the tears to stream down your face as they had so many times within the past few days. Telling her everything you had been thinking, and finally getting it out.

You noticed a few tears forming in her eyes as she sat down next to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder.

“Thank you for telling me,” she said. “I wish you had told me earlier, though,”

“I know, I’m sorry,”

“You’re wrong though,”

“About what?”

“You are enough for me, Y/N. I don’t care about sex, I just want you.”

“Really? You mean it?”

“Of course I do,”

You let out a gasp, then turned and wrapped both your arms around her, leaning in between her chest and neck.

“You’re okay with kisses though, right?”

You smiled, then leaned in and crashed your lips against hers. That certainly answered her question.

It felt like a weight was lifted off the both of you. You loved being like this with her, lips connected and arms wrapped around one another. You never wanted to let go.

When you had to break apart for air, Natasha smirked at you.

“So how about that date now?”

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x yn #natasha romanoff x fem reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff asexual #natasha romanoff x asexual reader #natasha romanoff x asexual!reader #black widow #black widow x reader #black widow asexual #black widow x asexual reader #black widow x fem reader #natalia alianovna romanova

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

Sonic Filmverse Chaos Emerald Theory, Part Who Fucking Knows: The Novelization won’t shut up about Chaos

Original Theory for Context

So, earlier, @birdsareblooming​ was given two quotes from the Sonic 2020 novelization implying Chaos energy is present in Sonic- link here. So, I got a hold on the novelization to see what was up.

Now, disclaimer outright: the novelization is based on an early version of the script, from what I can tell, and so it’s not super accurate to the final film- Wade, Jojo, Rachel and Ozzy are nonexistent, Maddie barely does anything, there’s less death fakeouts, etc... however, it should be noted that this is considered official, and so should count for at least something.

And as for what it counts for? I tabbed off every instance of the word “chaos” or “chaotic” in this book, and...

IT’S. A LOT.

According to the Amazon search feature, which I used because I’m too lazy to count myself, there are 14 instances of “chaos” and 5 of “chaotic”, totaling 19. And almost all of them are related to Sonic’s power. Not all of them, of course, but enough to draw suspicion.

Below, I’m going to list each line that references chaos with the page number, and you can... draw your own conclusions.

p.8: [Longclaw] was the only one who had cared for him after the emergence of his powers. Even in their world, the blur fur... the electric speed... it was nearly indescribable. There were some who believed his powers would unleash chaos on the world.

p.8: And so Longclaw took him into hiding on the island. There he could run free and be something close to a normal kid. The most chaotic things about his life were his hilarious pranks. That’s how he saw it.

p.10: And the hoods these [echidnas] wore showed their allegiance to the powerful warlords who had chased Sonic his whole life. They wanted to unleash the chaos energy inside him and overtake the world. [a]

p.11: “It’s too late for that. And besides, you don’t want to live only to destroy. You were meant for more than chaos.” [Longclaw] said, like she had a thousand times before. “I don’t know why this power came to you, but I have to believe that it was for more than being a pawn in someone else’s game.”

p.38-39: And the faster he went, the more his fur and his quills tingled with that chaotic blue energy.

p.39: The entire field exploded, knocking even Sonic off course and into the dirt. He squinted and just caught a massive wave of blue chaos energy shooting up and out across the sky.

p.42-43: Robotnik had been contacted twelve hours after the incident. Twelve hours since an electrical shockwave exploded out of Podunk Hills and caused chaos for over eight hundred miles.

p.79: By the time Sonic was able to stop laughing, a wall of bikers- all filled with rage- had surrounded them. That’s when chaos broke out.

p.92: The botnik shuddered as Sonic’s hands reached out in front of him and made a thunderous clap. The shockwave of chaotic blue energy radiated out of those fingers with all its fury pointed back from where they’d come from.

p.98: The more [Robotnik] stared into the chaotic energy of this hedgehog, the more Robotnik became obsessed with the potential of harnessing its disorder. With that kind of power source, he could convert the whole world into a robot revolution.

p.110: “Donut Lord, you don’t know what it’s like when I let that chaos out of me,” [Sonic] said. “I’ve never seen humans shoot lightning out of their butts.”

p.113-114: “You want to feel the power of real chaos so bad?” Sonic taunted. “You’ll have to catch me first, Ro-Butt-Nik!” [b]

p.114: Sonic launched himself in the air, and suddenly he could see everything in fine detail. He had sensed it at the roadhouse, too, but he was having too much fun then to understand what was happening. All the madness, the mayhem, the pure chaos of the fight slowed down in his mind, and he could perceive every motion of Robotnik’s mindless Badniks. [c]

p.116: Robotnik had pulled up a  glass case containing Sonic’s lost quill. And with a click, he activated the quill as a chaos power battery.

p.118-119: “He’s got the power of chaos now,” Sonic said as he dropped through the air in the free fall. “I can’t leave him with even a drop of that power.”

p. 130: “You think you got it all figured out, but you played yourself,” Sonic said with a jeer as he sped from spot to spot, just ahead of the egg-pod’s busted cannons. “You thought you could steal a bit of my chaos energy and use it to bend the world to your will. But it doesn’t work like that. Chaos doesn’t get controlled, and neither do I, Ro-Butt-Nik!” [d]

p.131: “Chaos doesn’t have to mean destruction,” Sonic said, dodging from side to side. “I know how it works now.” [e]

p.132: A final chaotic burst threw the ring right at Robotnik, eating up the scientist and his cruel machine. A shockwave of blue lightning dissipated in the air, and when the sound of thunder died down, Sonic stood alone in a burned circle of dirt.

Other notes:

a. Calling the echidnas “powerful warlords” makes more sense when you remember Pachacamac is in charge of them rn... and what was Pachacamac trying to steal to use as a weapon, again? Some emeralds?

b. This doesn’t have anything to do with the theory, but I just wanna say the novelization had way more SATAM references with “Ro-Butt-Nik” and Sonic calling things “Way past cool” and now I just miss Sally.

c. Sounds a bit like Chaos Control, hun.

d. This one seems the most deliberate and intentional reference- but with all the other references to chaos energy, it just makes the others seem more legit to me.

e. Sonic Adventure vibes....

So. hmm. inch resting

#sonic 2020 #sonic the hedgehog #sonic theory #sonic the movie #chaos emeralds #chaos emerald theory #mine

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Excerpt-- the“Breakup”

Surrounding context: (This is earlier in the story than I’ve been writing, though I’ve referenced it.)

Before this, Terran was assigned to kill Jesse Sutton, a PI that he discovered Raymond knew. Raymond was unable to convince him to back off the kill, because Terran was worried about Zachary discovering his true allegiance, already feeling like this was a test. Raymond gave Jesse a heads up, which caught Terran off-guard enough that Jesse was able to convince Terran to let him go. Terran’s still trying to figure out a cover story to give Zachary when Raymond shows up. He’s in a cafe, grabbing a coffee and looking over Jesse’s investigation.

Under the cut

I’d been on edge since I’d left Jesse’s, sure that someone was checking in on me. Jasmine, or someone else sent by Zacahry or Abigail or anyone else. Just because I hadn’t seen anyone I recognized didn’t mean someone was. 

So when my peripheral caught someone walking toward me, I was on edge. I didn't react, only slowly and as natural-looking as I could re-sorted the papers—to-be-destroyed on the bottom, to show Zachary in the middle, and notes on Jodi on top. Could be someone passing by, could be someone sneaking a glance, had to be safe. 

When the person slid into the seat across from me, I figured it must be Jasmine—very much her style to come up to me and sit down. But when I flicked my eyes up, it was someone else entirely—Raymond.

Of freaking course. It was good for me—I could relax about what I had in front of me—but just because he had approached me didn’t mean someone else wasn’t following me. To give Raymond some credit, he was disguised— he had a hat on with the brim low, covering much of his face and hair, a dark red scarf covering part of his face, and the glasses he usually wore were off, which did change his face considerably. 

Still, this was a public place. “We can’t be seen together,” I said, my eyes staying on the yellow note paper in front of me. 

“What did you do?” he asked. He spoke quietly, but I caught an edge of desperation there. I looked up. He was leaning forward, eager, nervous. Scared—he was scared I’d done it. He’d told Jesse to talk to me, but he was afraid it hadn’t worked. 

It felt too dangerous to say it aloud, especially here. I looked up, looked around. “Can we talk in private?”

“Did you?” he asked again.

He needed an answer. I gave the smallest shake of my head—unsure, suddenly, if the question was “did you kill him” or “did you let him go,” so I wasn’t sure if I was answering him—and said, “I can’t talk about this here.”

“Is there really a place no one will be listening?” he asked, but as set as his face was, he sighed. He held out a hand. “Ultimate privacy,” he said.

I stared at his hand. He’d implanted a thought before, yes, but that was different from showing him mine. But why was I being so cautious? It was Raymond. He knew the secrets. 

But I didn’t want to let him in completely. I didn’t want him to witness that scene from my perspective, in all my hesitation—what would he think of it?

“Or somewhere else, whatever,” Raymond said, starting to stand. “If there’s a place that’s safe—”

I reached over and took his hand. He looked at me, surprised, and then it closed around mine, giving me a squeeze. I watched him, nervous, waiting. 

Go ahead, what happened?

He could have just looked himself, pulled the memory to the front of my mind and watched it. Asking the question did that anyway, but he was waiting for my answer. 

I let him go. He left town, I’m going to find him but figure out how to fake his death then.

Raymond nodded, but he didn’t look less tense. He didn’t withdraw his hand yet, so while we had privacy, I added, It was risky for you to tell him I was coming. 

I wasn’t even sure if he’d hear it— I don't know how Nyp magic works, not really, and haven’t let any in other than him. But he must’ve, because he glared and dropped my hand. My wrist landed with a thud on the table and I stared at him, watching his eyebrows furrow in. 

Was he upset with me? I was so used to the opposite— me scolding him to stay hidden, him assuring me he was being careful. I was used to Mika’s anger, but on him it felt so foreign. Mika’s never bothered me, but Raymond being upset with me?

Had he really needed scolding there anyway? I stared at the papers in front of me, not to look at them but just to look anywhere else. After a moment of him glowering at the saltshaker, I said, aloud, “It’s a good thing you did, though,” I admitted, and then that got him to at least look at me. 

“Because you were going to do it,” he said, an edge in his voice. 

I didn’t want to have this conversation, here, aloud, but sometimes a response builds up and comes out anyway. “We talked about this. Last night, I thought you understood—I had to.”

“But you didn’t,” he said, stubbornly.

“I found an alternative, one that probably won’t work,” I snapped, realizing in a sudden rush just how shaky this plan was. I’d had to sound confident with Jesse, even faked myself out, but this was so unpredictable. So many ways for it to go wrong, for us to get caught. I hadn’t even told the first lie yet. “We have to be more careful than ever—”

Raymond leaned forward, setting his hands on the table. His voice was hushed, but sharp.“You almost killed a friend of mine.”

I tried to stay calm. “I’m in a difficult—”

“I know,” he interrupted, in his normal volume. “And you’re very good at it. But if I hadn’t convinced Jesse that you were capable of being a decent person, you would’ve—done it, and you know what? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Keep your voice down,” I scolded, automatically. 

He narrowed his eyes and I realized I probably shouldn’t be telling him what to do in that moment— even if he did need to be quiet. But he lowered his voice and chose his words carefully. “You almost did, and you intended to, because you were at risk. So I have to ask myself, if you’re willing to kill a friend of mine to keep your cover, can I really trust you?” His eyes dropped, staring hard at the table. “And maybe I shouldn’t.”

A vision flashed of him leaving, of him leaving and never getting to see him again. “Raymond—” I started to say, but there were people around, and I couldn’t say everything I wanted to, and he wasn’t going to reach over and let us talk through my head. 

How could I say, in that moment, how much I needed him? With the exception of this moment, I was safe around him. I was a better person around him, we both knew that. And maybe freeing him, and keeping the cover and helping his friends, maybe it was hard, but he was worth it. And maybe that was why he was upset anyway, but I couldn’t lose him because he was the reason I was taking the risk with Jesse. 

Raymond shook his head and stood up without looking at me, walking to the door.

I wasn’t going to let him leave— he left and I may never see him again. I pulled the papers together and clutched the file, hurrying after him. I caught his arm, searching for something to say, some way to apologize, but before I could find anything he twisted his arm around to hold mine. “Stop. Don’t follow me,” he said, then pulled away, running away.

It should’ve been easy to follow him, to at least know what direction he was going, but as soon as he turned away, it was like my mind forgot who he’d been, and I stared at the people fast-walking every which way and had no idea who I was looking for.

I took a deep breath. I’d lost him, and that feeling was bubbling up in me. I’d always known he’d come back, warned him against it, but taken comfort in knowing that he would, or at least that I could contact him but the contact card were gone— not that he’d respond anyway— and in all our time together, all our arguments and I’m sure, plenty of reasons to infuriate him, he’d never been mad at me before. Not like this.

His words echoed in my head. Could he really trust me, I would have done it… and it would have been so easy. Sure, once Jesse’d shown up it had gotten complicated, but that wasn’t Raymond’s point—my conflict had never been what Raymond wanted it to be. Maybe he was right. Maybe he deserved better than me, would be better off without me involved.

--

(So to answer Sleepy’s question, Raymond’s thoughts here are basically what he said about not being sure he can trust him. Raymond has been defending and forgiving Terran, and something he doesn’t say here is that when he told Jesse to try to talk Terran down, he knew it might not work and that he might be sending his friend to his death. That made Raymond realize that he was forgiving Terran way too much and he felt he needed to draw this line. Raymond’s not sure if he even should like Terran as much as he does, and certainly feels he’s cutting him too much slack, especially when Terran keeps telling him what to do.)

I call this the breakup because even though they’re not together rn I do think of this moment as kinda them breaking up and have referred to it as “When they broke up but not really”

Taglist: @sleepy-night-child @drippingmoon @puzzleddragon02 (you’ve read this scene already though) annnnnnnnd I’m going to superimpose @l-resonant-l to my taglist because I want you to read my stuff

#excerpt #syndicate #chapter 4 #tw killing mention #tw death mention

[ravenbrenna09]

When Isak is Also Even

This story is partially based on this post and here’s AO3 Link

...

Since wtfock season 3 has ended, I dived further into the lore and mythos of the Skam universe. Skam was a fandom that I always followed (when it was trending) but it was really Robbe and his season that fully brought me into it. Now, I’m in the midst of watching through Skam NL—I’m at the very beginning of episode 5—and I’m planning on watching España later on because I just love all that I’ve seen with the girl squad. 

But, Lucas always surprised me as a character—but especially as an Isak because he always seemed to have Even-like traits. From what I’ve seen, he’s primarily headcanoned to go on and study art. Because of this, I decided to play around with the idea that he has equal traits of the two. 

Because of this, I wanted to explore the idea that our “Isak” is given the storyline that Even normally represents especially given that Lucas’s own mother is bipolar as well. But, I did write Lucas as closeted as the other Isaks typically are at the beginning of their season—maybe more so?—so that is something to note. Now, of course, this is all fun and it’s just something that I wanted to explore—especially in a one shot. 

but, this is also my birthday gift for @peaceoutofthepieces (who is currently still sleeping rn) and it’s basically midnight for me SO THAT MEANS IT’S OFFICIALLY YOUR BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATALIE AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.

It’s really short (about a length of a clip of Jij Verliest) but I wish it was so much longer but I couldn’t manage it. I hope you enjoy it <3

…

The second that an Even sees their Isak is when their story starts changing, for the better, and life goes on to form something more precious than it was before.

But, this story is different.

Lucas van der Heijden is an Isak—technically, in someone else’s story—but he moved to Antwerp to get away from his father who tried to control his life and breathe down his neck about his medication. His mother had encouraged him to do so—to try new things—and with the Academy sending him an acceptance letter, it seemed so perfect, to go live in his cousin’s spare bedroom and get away from his father. So, because of this, Lucas van der Heijden is also an Even—technically.

One day, in the midst of it all, Lucas spots someone who instantly has his attention. Because Lucas is technically an Even—as much as he is an Isak, the person in his sight is his Isak, in every sense of the word. But, his “Isak” also happens to be another’s “Jonas.”

...

Lucas van der Heijden

Standing in front of the classroom, his photography teacher, Mr. Maes, a recent graduate from the Academy who returned to teach, lectured on and on about the various lighting techniques and what they tell the viewer. Mr. Maes had his brown hair meticulously styled. Today, he decided to wear a long-sleeve black shirt that clung a little too tightly to his biceps and a pair of jeans that clung tightly to his hips. Despite Lucas’s interest in the class—photography was his favorite medium and this class was his favorite of the semester—his brain kept fading in and out of the lecture. 

For whatever reason, his eyes kept returning to the curves of his muscles with a frustrating intensity. It was ridiculous that Lucas was getting distracted by something that didn’t interest him at all—outside of an artistic standpoint, of course—and he kept trying to force himself into the lecture. But, his brain also seemed to remind him of the text messages on his phones, the ones his father sent him as a botched attempt to bring him home despite his upcoming exam.

Dad: Come on Lucas. Your mother doesn’t understand.

Lucas: Really? She seemed fine when I called her. I have an art history exam next week that I have to study for. But I guess I don’t understand.

Dad: Lucas, that wasn’t what I meant.

Lucas: I know exactly what you meant.

Shoving away the thoughts of his father’s texts, Lucas’s eyes drifted back to Mr. Maes. Lucas was talking about lighter settings now, but his voice was growing increasingly muffled as the seconds stretched on. Lucas could feel his mind working, mentally sketching the scene in front of him—Mr. Maes enthusiastically talking about the various types of lighting. Normally, Lucas was always attentive during this class—as mentioned previously, it was his favorite class—but his mind continuing to wander was frustrating, to say the least. 

His dad had to message him before his class, didn’t he?

There was a tap on his shoulder, jolting him out of his thoughts. Glancing around the room, Lucas realized that their class had been dismissed and Mr. Maes was conversing with several students who lingered. Lucas felt his cheeks flush, his thoughts returning to his head, as he tried to shove them away. 

Eager for a distraction, Lucas turned to the person who broke him from his trance. His classmate, and friend of about a month, was standing beside him with his leather jacket thrown over his shoulder. Sander Driesen was shorter than Lucas with short brown hair that was growing out. He always wore some sort of graphic t-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans and Doc Martens. His Instagram was covered with pictures of him with bleach-blond hair—something that Sander insisted was returning as soon as his hair grew out again.

While they had bonded in the classroom, Lucas had met Sander two weeks before the semester starting… at their therapist’s office. Once they found out that they went to the same college—and found out they shared a class, they had become close. Sander was taking the class as an elective, but they still collaborated when given the chance. Sander knew about Lucas’s father and the spiral that ended with his diagnosis and his grief over leaving his mother. Lucas knew about Sander’s fascination for spray painting and his diagnosis at the age of sixteen and his artistic muse—his boyfriend who had hair that curled when it was too long.

A week ago, Lucas learned from his new roommate, Zoë, that Robbe, Sander’s boyfriend, had his room last autumn—but Lucas still hadn’t gotten the chance to physically meet him. Even though Sander had shown him every picture that he had of Robbe. 

Sander stepped out of his way to let Lucas out and they slipped past their professor, who didn’t seem to notice Lucas’s absent mind. But, Sander did, asking as they headed out of the college, “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah,” Lucas said, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s just my dad being an ass, trying to get me to come home because my mom doesn’t ‘understand’ or whatever.” Sander scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I called her and told her that it was because of my Art History test next Wednesday.” 

“Yeah, those Art History tests can be brutal,” Sander admitted. 

“Thanks for the support.”

“You’re welcome.” 

As they stepped outside of the building, the sunlight shined down upon them. On most days, the sun was energizing and bright. But, today, it felt daunting and tiring to Lucas. It might’ve been his text messages with his father, but the fact he got little sleep wasn’t helping matters. His cousin was… loud and Lucas didn’t have noise-canceling headphones like Zoë had acquired. Before Sander stepped away, Lucas asked, “What are your plans for the day?”

“Robbe and I are going out to dinner with some of his friends,” Sander said. “What about you? Did you want to come?” 

“No, thank you though. I can’t today. I’m going to buy noise-canceling headphones and study some more for that brutal Art History test,” Lucas said. 

“Milan?” Sander asked, grimacing. Lucas fervently nodded his head and Sander chuckled. “Maybe, one of these days, you can get him back someday.” 

“I doubt it,” Lucas said. There was a flash of movement over Sander’s shoulder and Lucas’s eyes found it immediately. A person was running in their direction—or more specifically at them—with curly brown hair and a face that Lucas knew intimately for someone he never physically met. Before Lucas could even form a warning to Sander, Robbe was jumping onto his friend’s back. The force had nearly knocked Sander over and Lucas moved to help

Sander quickly found his balance, gripping onto Robbe’s thighs like a lifeline to keep him stable. The leather jacket that Sander held in his hand had hit the pavement and Lucas bent down to pick it up. His boyfriend’s legs were wrapped tightly around his waist and his arms bound around his shoulders. As Robbe pressed kisses against his boyfriend’s cheek, Sander exhaled, relaxing, “For fuck’s sake, baby, don’t do that.” 

“Sorry,” Robbe said, giggling with a wide grin on his face. Sander reached out his hand to Lucas, making a grabbing motion for the leather jacket, and he handed it over without hesitation. As if noticing Lucas for the first time, Robbe glanced over at Lucas. “Oh, you must be Lucas, right? I’m Robbe.”

Lucas chuckled, glancing at Sander. “Yeah, I know who you are.” 

“What do you mean?” Robbe asked. “I’ve never met—” There was a look of realization on his face and his cheeks flushed instant. Immediately, Robbe turned shy, burying his face in the crook of Sander’s neck. Lucas was barely able to hear a muffled, “That’s so embarrassing.” 

Sander chuckled. “Don’t worry, I only showed him the PG sketches.”

Robbe pulled himself from Sander’s neck to say. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better?!” 

“Woah,” Lucas said. He waved his arms as though he could somehow block out the newfound information tainting his mind. He covered his ears and took a step back away from the couple. “That’s too much information.” Still holding Robbe on his back, Sander nearly doubled over in laughter and Robbe gripped onto him tighter. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sander. If I can even look you in the eye anymore.”

“You’ll understand one day,” Sander said, moving in the way Robbe had come. He lifted Robbe a little higher on his back as they walked away. “Goodbye, Lucas! I hope your dad stops being an ass and you study for your test!” 

“Thanks,” Lucas said. “I’ll do my best. Nice to officially meet you, Robbe!” 

“You too!”

Sander turned away, taking Robbe with him. Lucas watched the happy couple moved away from the school intertwined and holding onto each other. Robbe was still high on Sander’s back, clinging to him like a koala, and his face buried into Sander’s neck. The two of them looked so happy and proud, intertwined with one another so easily and simply. Lucas felt a sense of longing flash briefly in his chest as he watched their retreating forms.

Lucas moved in the opposite direction. His mind was already marking the path to the video store to buy a pair of the best noise-canceling headphones. As he pivoted to leave, his eyes caught sight of Sander and Robbe with someone else and—for whatever reason—Lucas halted to a stop without having gone too far away from his original destination. 

There was a tall guy was walking up to Sander and Robbe. Behind him, two guys were chatting loudly but Lucas couldn’t hear him—and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the guy in the center. The guy in question was taller than all of his friends, but his shoulders were slumped a little. Even though he had a maroon hoodie over his head, Lucas could tell that his hair was a jet black. Lucas could see his sharp jaw and the upturn of his lips as he teased Sander and Robbe.

He was beau—

Lucas cut off his thoughts, abruptly turning around. 

Lucas’s brain was screaming at him to turn around, to make up some excuse as to why he can join, simply to find out the name of the beau—no, the man there. But, Lucas knew that he couldn’t. It wouldn’t make any sense for him to change his mind now. Forcing one foot to move in front of the other, forcing himself away from the guy that had captured his attention, Lucas swallowed deeply as he tried to keep his thoughts even. 

Lucas had never been like that before. 

It wouldn’t make sense for him to be like that now. 

But, as he turned the corner, Lucas snuck a glance back to him—just to see the guy smile dazzlingly at Robbe and Sander.

...

Note: There was supposed to be a second part of this from Jens’ POV a few weeks later where Jens would actually meet him, but I wasn’t able to get it on time. I hope you enjoy this section and maybe I’ll do Jens’ POV after Jij Verliest ends?

#wtfock #skam nl #lucas van der heijden #jens stoffels #van der stoffels #vds #crackship #jens x lucas #lucas x jens #even!lucas #i just had a lot of fun playing with the role switches here lol #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #lucas and sander friendship rise #i felt like it would be such an amazing friendship #but i can dream #long post

[avatoh]

Lassiter downloads a dating app and Shawn decides to catfish him. What happens when the fake psychic gets too close and Lassiter catches onto his scheme?

Read on A03 or below

Happy Psych Movie 2 week!

Lassiter stared emptily at his phone screen, wondering if he was making the right decision. He was never really the kind of man to put himself out there, not like this anyway. But honestly, he was getting incredibly lonely at this point of his life. Being the person that he was, he, of course, had his qualms about online dating. To put his photo out there, his name, his location...well, this was almost out of the question for him.

But, with some minor changes to his personal information, like his name, his location, and some artful photos that concealed his identity, he found himself completing a profile on an online dating site, a semi-popular phone-based dating app to be more specific.

To his surprise, he got a few messages when he opened the app up a few days later, checking it for the first time since creating his profile. A lot of the messages were simple one word greetings, some were weird, while others were just asking him semi-personal questions regarding his profile and his height, with questionable emojis tacked on to the end.

Was dating really this simple now?

“Hello.” He had messaged back a few people after extensively combing through their profiles. So far, so good. This wasn’t so bad! Maybe he should have done this sooner.

Unfortunately for him and his odd and demanding work hours, about four months after downloading his dating app Lassiter’s phone went completely dry.

Since downloading the app though, he’d gone on six separate in-person dates in total and out of those six dates, two of them had warranted second dates and he’d gotten two goodnight kisses from both of them. He’d eventually slept with one of them, but after that, he never heard from them again as they were only in town for business and traveled a lot.

In short, it had now been a month since Lassiter had last had a date and he’d only gotten a one night stand out of four months of effort.

Lassiter heard a familiar ring chime on his phone at a crime scene, one day. He pulled out his phone on instinct to check the dating app and potential new messages and…

Spencer!

Oh no, Shawn had caught him on the app, recognizing the sound of the ring too, somehow. Lassiter hadn’t realized what he had done in front of everyone until he saw Shawn’s head perk up in his peripheral vision...

They made eye contact.

Lassiter could have sworn Shawn gave him a head nod of acknowledgment before he managed to fumble his phone back into his pocket. How embarrassing! At least Spencer had the decency not to say anything out loud, for once. But the man knew. He definitely knew what that app was and he knew that he was desperate and lonely enough to make a profile on it! God! This was not good.

Hopefully that was the end of that!

“Yo, dude,” Shawn whispered at the crime scene to his best friend in the world, Burton Guster. “Check it out! Lassiter’s using a dating app!”

“What? For real!?” Gus asked.

“Yeah,” Shawn whispered back. “Just saw him on it right now!” The knowledge made him feel like a giggling school-boy finding out the Chemistry teacher was dating the English teacher.

“Wonder if that app thing is working for him?” Gus smiled, amusedly, touching his thumb to his nose.

“Working for him? A man like Lassie on a dating app...” Shawn mused. “Yeah, I mean, he’s a pretty good-looking man. Bet it sure is.”

“But his personality-” Gus interrupted.

“Ehhh. You’re right, but it's not that bad once you kinda get to know him,” Shawn vocalized.

“No. It is.You’re just saying that because you like him.”

“First of all, Gus, I didn’t say anything like that. I simply made a questioning sound with my throat, indicating my wavering thought. Second of all, the man had a wife for God’s sake. Someone out there liked him enough to not only date but marry him. He can’t be that bad.”

“Well, ‘first of all,’ Shawn, yes, the noise that you made with your throat meant that you do like him and you were disagreeing with my statement because you feel the opposite of what I said. That was a positive sound, Shawn. And ‘second of all,’ he got divorced and hasn’t had a steady date since.”

“That’s because if he dated me, he’d never want to date again!”

“So why don’t you try now? He’s clearly looking for somebody.”

“Eh,” Shawn said in a saddened tone.

“What?”

“I’ve already asked him out before and he shot me down. Didn’t take me seriously.”

“It’s because of the ways you've asked him,” Gus said blatantly. “You gotta ask him for real!”

“Like...for real, for real?” Shawn squeaked.

“Yeah,” Gus answered. “That’s generally how these things work, Shawn!”

“What are you two talking about,” came Vick’s voice. The case that they were called on was pretty important, it seemed. There was no time to talk about Lassiter and his dating app habits. Both Shawn and Gus turned towards one another and shrugged.

“Just talking about the case, Chief.”

“Get to it then, boys.”

“Yes, Chief!”

Later that day, when Shawn got back to his place, he plugged in his phone in the charger next to his bed and closed his eyes. His fantastic memory allowed him to recall the exact details of what he had seen on Lassiter’s cell phone screen. He really hadn’t tried to remember those details, they just came into his mind as he was falling asleep. Shawn groaned and flipped onto his side. Sleep was now out of the question now; he was curious and intrigued.

Shawn perfectly remembered Lassiter’s online dating profile. Age, height, and location were all a bit off from the truth, but that was to be expected. Pretty interesting. Before he knew it, the dating app Lassiter had used was now downloaded on Shawn’s phone. Shawn wanted to snoop...he really really wanted to. For the time being, he set the app aside and cycled through his normal apps to keep his mind occupied. There was no wrong-doing in downloading an app. Shawn quit before he was further tempted and turned on the T.V and decided watching re-runs of Friends was a better use of his time than holding temptation in his hands.

After a long week at work, Lassiter walked into his home and took a hot shower, then laid down in his bed, relaxing for the first time all day. It was now when he finally allowed himself to look at his notifications on his phone. There were a few emails, a few software updates, and a few notifications from apps.

It had now been a few days since Lassiter had opened his app at the scene of a crime in front of Shawn. About seven messages had built up on his dating profile and he hadn’t checked due to the case he had been working on. It had consumed him. Some of the profiles that he had messaged him looked promising. Just as he was about to log-off the app, he got a new message from an attractive-looking woman: Esther.

Esther: Hey there. I see you're online rn too. Did you just get off work? :)

Her profile checked out and she seemed nice. She was older than most of the women who messaged him: around his own age, in fact. She wore a pant-suit in one of her profile photos and a nice smile. She must have just gotten off work like he had. He messaged her back.

Lassiter: Yes. Got off 2 hours ago. What about you?

Esther: I got off about an hour ago. Today was a long day.

Lassiter decided to thumb through Esther’s profile more extensively now. His consensus was that she was a rather interesting woman and it seemed that he may have seen her somewhere before but he couldn’t quite place it. It seemed that she worked for a company as an executive. She was 4 years younger than him. They had quite a few things in common and she seemed rather okay at face value. This was somebody he’d like to get to know better. He decided to talk to her more to see if there was a potential good match in the making.

Sometime after Shawn had downloaded the app, and made a profile. He really hadn’t wanted to, but he did. His curiosity got the best of him. He created a fake profile in the name of Esther to browse and look for Lassiter in the app. He used photos from an old girlfriend of his who he was still friendly with after he explained that it was for a case. Surprisingly, she had given him permission to use her pictures. Lying already. Yes, this was getting off to a great start.

After setting up the profile, he had to actively look through hundreds of profiles for Lassiter which made him feel really, really creepy. So he stopped and put his phone away.

Esther was a nice woman, she really was, and he really liked her but his cop instincts were kicking in. Something seemed off. She just...seemed too perfect and a little too tailored to him and his tastes, so to speak. She absolutely couldn’t be real. He wished it wasn’t that way, but he was almost certain he was being played.

He wasn’t being paranoid, it was actually far from it. There were subtle, subtle hints that “Esther” knew he was. The person was careful, but they were also too proud and self confident. It was only two little details that they slipped up on: that’s it. They commented about his phone being in the drawer on his work desk. He locked it away there on occasion.

Lassiter: Sorry I was busy. At work atm.

Esther: Forgot your phone in your desk?

Keyword IN. On the desk would have been more normal, not a lot of people had a drawer to put their phone in.

That was the huge red flag. The other red flag and what seemed strange was that on two occasions he saw Shawn on his phone at the same time he was receiving messages from Esther. He was across the station but he swore he heard the ding from the dating app on one occasion. Shawn cursed when he received a pretty bold response and then they caught eyes in a half glare from across the way. On another day, Esther knew the color of his shoes he was currently wearing, all of which was very peculiar.

Three days passed and Shawn had since then he had begun thumbing through profiles and finally stumbled upon Lassiter’s. He knew it was his by the icon he saw for a split second on the detective's phone.

He didn’t know what compelled him but he happened to open the app once more late at night and found himself looking at Lassiter’s profile after mindlessly flipping through the app again. There was little green light indicating that Lassiter was online was on the corner of the profile. Now was his chance. Gus was talking to a woman at the bar they were at and he felt lonely. Now was his opportunity. It was only going to be one quick message. Lassiter probably wouldn’t reply anyway. Besides, he was bored. He didn’t expect a reply, anyway.

About two minutes later he got a reply. Huh. That wasn’t what he was expecting. They ended up talking all night.

Yes. Esther was most definitely fake. To make matters worse, Lassiter was 95% sure that Shawn was the man behind Esther. He had never been so embarrassed in his life. The conversations had already gotten deep and real and involved: all the things that normally didn’t happen when he talked to someone online. He’d admitted to things to Esther and “Esther” confessed some things to him as well and some of those things didn't exactly fit her backstory but could easily fit Shawn Spencer’s...

Talking to Lassiter had become a bit of a habit for a whole week. They had just started talking about meeting up in real life now, which was obviously a problem. There were always vague excuses on his end and sometimes even on Lassiter’s due to business and scheduling conflicts, which was strange. It was probably subconscious. Shawn was about ready to end this whole charade once and for all, but sometimes it seemed that Lassiter just liked talking to him as “Esther”, so much so that he didn’t want to stop. They were getting along and the companionship was great.

Shawn was really questioning why he was still doing this though. Sometimes when he replied back pretending to be someone else he just felt plain nasty and dirty: like the liar that he was. What exactly was he gaining from keeping this up? He could stop anytime he wanted. He should stop. Why were they still talking? He had investigated him enough. What else was the point of continuing these conversations? Well, it’s not like he had anything better to do, anyway, right? And, besides, talking to Lassiter was nice.

Early on into his “investigation” he had already gotten one of the main answers from Lasstier that he was seeking.

Esther: Hey, on the little quiz match thing that we can take on here, it says you’re both interested in women and men?

Shawn really, really had always been curious if he even had a chance with Lassiter and this was the answer he had been waiting for. Hopefully Lassiter wasn’t so computer inept that he had chosen “looking men and women”on accident. His heart raced as he saw Lassiter typing.

It took him awhile to respond, but when he did, Lassiter replied:

Is that going to be a problem for you?

“Not at all,” he typed back. I’m actually bi as well.

I’m pan, but ok.

Shawn’s heart beat quickly in his chest. What. What the hell was happening here? He heard from Lassie’s mouth itself that there might be a chance for them to be together. Lassie was pansexual? Oh my God! He, for years, had been hoping with all his might that Lassiter wasn’t straight. He wasn’t! Oh my God, he wasn’t!? He suspected as much but he’s never really seen Lassiter interested in people other than the few women he chased after on a few occasions. I haven’t dated too many women tho, you know... he said, as Esther.

That’s fine.

Shawn wanted to know more about his dating history but Lassiter wasn’t budging. He could feel him shrinking back a little, so he stopped.

Yes, “Esther” was most definitely Shawn Spencer. For a day or two, he was actually very very convinced somebody was stalking or after him. He realized “Esther” had to be someone within the department who had close access to him on the daily. Lassiter regularly checked the SBPD as well as his desk for bugs, but he checked again. No dice. He then reviewed security cameras in the office. There was only one recurring common threat to him: Shawn.

To finally confirm his seemingly impossible theory, he kept on messaging Shawn while they were in the same room together. Shawn kept on checking his phone. He eventually stopped when Lassiter got too bold but thanks to the use of the office security cameras, when he was in a different room Lassiter messaged him again and watched Shawn pull out his phone and open a familiar looking app. Even with the pixels barely visible, he knew all evidence pointed to Shawn.

What the Hell.

What was he playing at? Lassiter felt sick to his stomach and betrayed. He didn’t know what the hell to do about this or how to confront Shawn directly.

For three days he ignored Esther. On the fourth day, he launched his attack plan while Shawn was sitting with O’Hara on a lunch break. Shawn, Guster, O’Hara, and himself, were all at a restaurant together and Lassiter had excused himself to the restroom as he walked away. He couldn’t wait to see Shawn’s reactions and see him get caught in the act:

Lassiter: Sorry it’s been awhile. It’s been busy at work

Esther: It’s okay. I’ve been busy as well. How are you?

Lassiter: Good. Hey I was wondering. I’m free tomorrow. Can we meet up soon?

It took “her” a while to respond and she said no. Across the room, Lassiter could see Shawn’s fingers typing away but couldn’t see any facial reaction from him.

Lassiter: Then when?

Esther: I don;t know.

Lassiter: That’s fine. Thank you for the chats, but I don’t think this is going to work out if we can’t meet. It was nice knowing you.

The 5% chance that this wasn’t Shawn, that was “Esther’s” last chance right there. He was done with this and this game and done with Shawn’s shenanigans. He was about to walk over to Shawn to expose him when his phone dinged on his way back to the table. He glanced at his phone before he approached the booth.

I’m busy tomorrow, but I’m free Sunday.

What? What the hell?! This wasn’t supposed to happen. Esther wasn’t real. How could Shawn be taking this so far? He had practically caught him red-handed! Perhaps even Shawn knew it. Maybe he was calling his bluff. He had to think quickly. He couldn’t let Shawn win! This was ridiculous!

Lassiter: Ok, let’s meet at the cafe by the movie theatre

Esther: Okay. What time is good for you? I’m free all day.

Lassiter: 5

Esther: 5pm at the cafe?

Lassiter: Yes

Esther: Okay that’s fine :)

Lassiter eyed Shawn with his steely gaze as he sat down in the booth. Shawn gave him a little smile as he continued typing at his keyboard, probably to nobody.

Oh, what had he gotten himself into?

Shit! Shit! Shit! Yeah. Shawn had just made a date with Lassiter and was pretty sure that he was onto him. What the hell was he going to do? The man was sitting across from him staring him down as he pretended to type on his phone to someone and was attempting not to scream. He had until Sunday to figure that out. For now, he had to focus on pretending that everything was okay at this lunch.

Sunday came and Lassiter didn’t even bother dressing up for his date. 5 o’clock was arriving quickly and he drove to the proposed meeting spot and sat at one of the outside tables as he sipped at a coffee, starting exactly at 5 pm. When he was done drinking, he was planning on leaving. He wondered what Shawn was going to do to get out of this one.

To his surprise, at 5:02, Esther, the girl from the profile picture, showed up to the cafe and Lassiter’s mouth gaped wide open.

Shawn’s ex, the one the one he had gotten the photos from, had agreed to go on a date with Lassiter as he contacted her again and asked for this “one last favor” She laughed as he explained the whole situation he was in and had always been a fun person to date and was fully on board, thinking that it would be fun. Shawn had confessed to his ex that he had a crush on Lassiter and she sympathized with him saying she’d do her best to let him down gently.

The coffee date had gone...well but she wasn’t who he had been expecting. He sincerely was expecting Shawn or even just nobody to show up. Her words when she spoke were different, they didn’t click with one another like they had online.

Monday, the next time Lassiter saw Shawn, he pulled the man aside. “We need to talk.”

“What?” Shawn said.

“You know what you did!”

Shawn, playing dumb as usual, denied it. “What?”

“I think you know, “Esther,” Lassiter emphasized.

Shawn stared at him with a deadpan expression.

“I don’t know how you did it. How you got “her” to come to the coffee shop. But it’s you. It’s your words. Your phone number that’s registered to the account, I know it’s you, Shawn.”

“If you knew I was Esther , and I’m not saying I was, then why would you say the stuff you were saying?” Shawn stepped closer. “It was intimate, personal…”

“I-” Never did Lassiter think that Shawn would admit to something like this and take responsibility for his actions. He was growing as a person. He really did like him but he didn’t seem the most emotionally and financially secure person. But...he had just admitted to this little game, something like this was big for him. Perhaps…

“Of course the things you were saying…”

“Yes-” Lassiter inquired.

“One could say that you were really charming, really engaging, and surprisingly open.” Shawn moved closer towards him and his cheeks were getting red. “You really liked this woman, huh?”

“That person, yes, they were rather interesting.”

Shawn took a deep breath, Lassiter was...complimenting him. He was openly complimenting him. He felt his heart swell with giddy emotion. This, he really hadn’t suspected this from Lassiter. He was still just walking into a trap. After all this time, after all this pinning, it seemed too easy to admit these things. “Of course,” Shawn started to say with a movement of his hand towards his head. Two fingers on his temple. “My visions wont allow me to see anymore of what happened between you two. But I could tell that you really liked her.”

V I S I O N S!? Lassiter’s mood did a 180 and his eyes crinkled in anger. “I think we’re done here.”

This was his chance. But he was a coward as much as he was a liar. He had made the wrong decision. “Wait-” Shawn called after him.

“We’re done here,” Lassiter repeated again.

Oh no.

Lassiter left the stationhouse early to cool off. It was very unfortunate that Shawn had let him down like that again. They could have been so much together. Shawn…. Shawn was just a child. He could never date a child, a liar like him. Shawn, the fake psychic. He had some growing up to do before he could even consider him as a partner. He never took responsibility, and that was his main character flaw. He was disappointed in himself and disappointed in Spencer. This would never work.

Shawn, who didn’t have Lassiter’s actual phone number, created a new profile on the dating app. This time, as Shawn Spencer. He found Lassiter’s profile again and started typing out a long, heartfelt msg explaining his con, about his ex who was involved, how he had a crush on him, how he wasn't even psychic and the whole shebang.

Leave it to him to fuck things up as usual. He quietly deleted his long and wordy message and re-typed simply the words sorry, his thumb hovering over the send button...

A03

#shassie #psych #psych usa #shawn spencer #carlton lassiter #my fic

[imclumsy]

Livestream

(peter parker x actress!reader)

Summary: the reader is an actress starring in stranger things. she starts a livestream as she chills with her best friend, peter. they get flustered when her fans point out their flirting. the fans go crazy once something happens.

Warning: idk, language maybe? if that counts??

A/N: i found this in my drafts on wattpad lmao. thought it was cute and decided to continue writing it for my first tumblr imagine post. oh and ‘Y/c/n’ means ‘your character’s name’.

“Hey, guys.” You smiled at your phone screen, holding up a peace sign as you started a live stream on Instagram. Comments started to flood in.

avengersfan01 - OMG UR LIVESTREAMING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AGES

y/niswifey - WHERE HAVE U BEEN,, LAST TIME U POSTED WAS A MONTH AGO

msmarvel19832 - notice me senpaiiiii 😭

strangertingzz4life - hiiiiii ❤️❤️💖

"So, I'm kinda bored, my parents aren't home and I thought 'Why not do a Q&A?' since I haven't been so active on Instagram lately because I’ve been busy filming." You shuffled, trying to find a comfortable position to sit in.

"Stop moving, Y/n. I’ve almost got a 10 streak kill." Peter nudged you, keeping his attention on his video game as he ran someone over with a car.

Who knew Spider-Man would enjoy running over pedestrians.

"I'm trying to get comfortable, dickhead, let me be." You smiled, moving the camera so it was away from you and Peter. You finally decided to lay your head on his stomach as he let you lay between his legs.

"Ok, sorry about that, technical- well, physical difficulties." You laughed at the camera, making Peter chuckle, "Anyways, questions anyone? I'll answer as many as I can."

You waited for the comments to load and read out the first one you saw, "From captainamericaswhore, love the username by the way, 'Who's legs are those?'" You giggled as soon as you finished reading.

Everyone in the comments started to freak out.

y/n.y/ln.is.my.queen - YO I BET IT'S PETER SKSJAK

dontreadmyusername - who tf is peter-

peterxy/n.otp - ALJSSJAK IT'S MY SHIP OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M WITNESSING THIS

madmax751300 - [dontreadmyusername] get outta here u uncultured swine

elevenseggos - those r some thicc legs wInK wOnK

suziep00 - [elevenseggos] and i fucking oop-

“Are you livestreaming?” Peter asked, pausing his game and taking his headset off, reaching away to place it on the table.

“Yep,” You replied, popping the ‘p’. Your fans already knew who Peter was since he made a regular appearance in all your social media, especially your stories. “It’s Peter’s legs by the way. Say ‘hi’ to everyone, Pete.” You turned your camera to him.

“Hey.” He waved, sending the fans a charming smile.

“Alright, next question-“ You said, sitting up before hitting your head on Peter’s nose.

“Fuck.” He held the bridge of his nose. You laughed, letting your head fall forward as you clutched your stomach. “That fucking hurt, you idiot!” He shoved your shoulder, laughing to lighten up the mood instead of making it serious.

You turned around, looking at the tears welling up in his eyes, “Aww, alright. I’m sorry.” You reached behind him to grab a tissue from the tissue box on the small table and wiped his tears, “You good?”

"Yeah, kinda hurts, but I'm fine." He laughed, giving you a smile to reassure you that he's okay.

“You’re such a baby.” You playfully rolled your eyes before quickly kissing his nose. “You know, my lips kinda hurt too.” He smirked.

“Nice one, Parker.”

“I try my best.”

“Well, it might just be working.” You flirted back, making Peter blush profusely.

You completely forgot that you were still livestreaming as you felt your phone violently vibrate in your hand. Everyone was going crazy; crazier than normal.

noahpotatoes - WTF WTF WTF WTAF I’M SCREAMING

lucasisunderrated - Y'ALL SHE SAID 'WELL IT MIGHT JUST BE WORKING' OMFG ALL THAT FLIRTING IS GONNA PAY OFF I’M GONEEE

finnwolfhardofficial - real smooth peter,, real smooth

dustybun4life - i wonder what’s gonna happen after this livestream ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

steve_the_mom - [dustybun4life] SOME OF Y'ALL ARE NASTY OML-

Your face heated up after reading some of the comments. “What can I say, Finn? Practice makes perfect." He managed to say one last bold comment before his face turned completely red after reading all the comments shipping you two.

ironlad01762 - PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT-

elizabethz04 - SO I WASN’T HALLUCINATING LAST LIVESTREAM WHEN Y’ALL WERE FLIRTING OML I’M GONNA PASS OUT

sadiesink_ - you guys better get together by the end of this live otherwise we’re no longer gonna have movie nights in my trailer

therealcalebmclaughlin - your flirting is so cute it makes me want to puke

gatenm123 - just saying.. i better be in the front seat for your wedding

elevenseggos - I'M LOVING THIS INTERACTION AND ALL BUT PLS CONTINUE THE Q&A, I WANT THE TEA SPILT ALL OVER THE TABLE CLOTH

You felt really flustered now, feeling Peter’s body heat radiate as he wore his headsets to continue his game in order to avoid showing his flushed face. You cleared your throat, “Alright, guys, come on. Elevenseggos is right, let’s continue the Q&A.”

elevenseggos - OH MY GOD I'VE BEEN NOTICED, WHAT A BLESSED DAY

gayforrobin - [elevenseggos] CONGRATS

milliebobbybrown - [elevenseggos] "I WANT THE TEA SPILT ALL OVER THE TABLE CLOTH" I'M USING THAT FROM NOW ON

flayedforbilly - [milliebobbybrown] MILLIE OMG @elevenseggos IS HAPPY-CRYING ALL OVER ME RN, WHAT DID U DO

You waited until some questions pop up and read the first one I see, "From stony4life, 'What's it like playing a fan-favourite character in Stranger Things?'" I bite my lip as I think of an answer, "I mean - obviously - it's really cool. I actually originally auditioned for a smaller role since this was my first big thing but ended up getting the role of Y/c/n. It’s really fun to be able to play this character; she’s strange but in a mysterious yet cool way, she clicks with everyone in the group and she just straight up vibes.”

You waited for another comment, “Ooh, from peterxy/n- oh, hah, okay.” You blushed because of the username, “Have you met your celebrity crush? See, I actually ran into him 3 years ago but that crush has worn off now.” You shrugged, “But! But this guy,” You turned the camera around to face a deeply concentrated Peter, “does have a celebrity crush and he won’t tell me who it is.”

He immediately paused the game again and took off his headsets, “Because it’s embarrassing.”

“I’m sure it’s not, don’t be so dramatic.”

“Trust me, it is.”

“You know I can probably get my agent to get you to meet them.” You pointed out.

“Yeah, but what if I already met them?”

milevenisrealmfs - OH MY GOD GUYS BRACE YOURSELVES IT’S GONNA HAPPEN

eggosaresuperior - SHIT SHIT WAIT LEMME GET MY SCREENRECORDER ON

milevenisrealmfs - omg y/n better get what he’s saying otherwise i’m gonna cry

“Oh my God, when? Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked. He looked at you like you were joking, “Seriously?”

“What?” You furrowed your brows in confusion.

“You’re actually so dumb.” He said before softly grabbing your jaw and kissing you. You almost dropped your phone from the sudden action but he pulled away just before you could.

You were left with a dumbfounded gaze, you glanced at your phone and saw all the comments flooding in again, “Alright, gotta go guys, bye.” You quickly ended the live.

You sighed then looked at Peter, “You like me?” You asked.

“Well, yeah. I thought it was pretty obvious.” He shrugged, nervously avoiding your eye contact.

You studied his features before gently placing your lips against his. He kissed back, leaning into your touch as you held his cheek. You pulled away, both of you smiling, “Then it’s a good thing I like you too.”

-

-

-

#peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #tom holland #peter parker #peter parker masterlist #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland masterlist #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #peter parker smut #tom holland smut #avengers #avengers masterlist #avengers fanfiction #peter parker livestream #peter parker live #stranger things #marvel imagines #marvel fanfiction #marvel masterlist

[purplesurveys]

1018

When was the last time you were in pain? Did you take a painkiller? Last Saturday when I stubbed my toe and it made my nailbed bleed. Nah, I just dabbed tissue on it and covered it up a Band-Aid. It didn’t really need one, but I placed one anyway so that I didn’t have to see the cut.

What was the last question that someone else asked you? I was showing my mom some photos of the typhoon’s aftermath in our city and she was asking me where exactly one of the photos was taken. It’s honestly so bad over here rn and I feel kinda guilty for taking surveys when so much of the city still has chest-deep flood...but this is the one thing keeping me from going insane while we still don’t have electricity and internet at home, so.

Do you recall what you were doing last time 7pm came around? Wrapping up work, watching the newest episode of Good Mythical Morning, and was also probably looking for a survey to answer.

What was the last thing you consumed, that tasted sweet? Churros with chocolate dip.

Do you know who Mr Blobby is, or have you ever heard of him? I have never heard of it. Them? Him?

Have you ever befriended someone named Tom? What is/was he like? I don’t think so. I’ve never heard of a Tom where I live. I know Tims though, lol.

Does your father have any hobbies? What are they? He loves cars and motorcycles, and I also always catch him watching compilations of dumb vehicular accidents. He’s also into the latest gadgets and I know he’s been wanting a drone for ages now.

Name a food you enjoy, that starts with the same letter as your surname. Curry. :)

What did the last face mask you wore look like? I always wear those thin plain blue disposable ones because they are light and breathable. < Yeah, same. My mom buys boxes of these all the time so this kind is my only choice, really. I never minded it though.

Do you enjoy any songs by The Pet Shop Boys? The name is familiar and I probably know one or two songs of theirs that I enjoy, but I just can’t place any at the moment.

Is there a specific song that you always request at parties? What is it? Eh, not really. I let other people take over the music. Sometimes my friends will request Paramore for me hehehehe and it’s always nice when everyone ends up enjoying whatever song by them is played. But I’m personally often too shy myself to do the requesting because I’m scared it’ll turn out to be a flop. 

Have you ever read 'The Railway Children?' Did you like it? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.

What was the last thing someone said or did, that made you chuckle? So we have a card game at home wherein each card has a certain category and the game is simply a race to come up with an example under that category. So for example if the game master pulls out a card that says ‘fruit,’ you wanna be the first person to yell apple or orange or something. Anyway, my family pulled it out again because of the current power outage, and while we were playing earlier my mom excitedly yelled ���CEREAL” when the category was “breakfast cereal.” All of us died laughing.

Have you ever met anyone named Joyce? What is/was she like? I know multiple people whose second name is Joyce, but I dunno anyone who has that as their main name or preferred nickname.

Who was the last relative you visited? My grandma. Needed to pick up the box of revel bars that my uncle had made for my mom.

Does anyone close to you have blue eyes? Nah, especially not in this part of the world. Who was the last person you messaged on social media? Andrew. He was simply checking up on me because our city is one of the hardest-hit areas of the typhoon so far.

^ Do you know when their birthday is? June or July 20something...I can’t remember at the moment.

Is there anyone you love, whose name starts with H? Hmm Hannah is a good friend of mine, and I guess I can say I love her, sure.

Do you own a hairdryer? What color is it? Yeah, pink. I’ve since given it to my sister since she needed a hairdryer in her dorm, but it was originally a gift for me.

What CDs do you have in your car, if any? I don’t keep CDs in my car anymore. If I wanted to listen to my music, I just link my Spotify to the stereo via Bluetooth.

One hour from now, what time will it be? 4:35 PM.

{found @ pinkchocolate}

--

When you woke up today, did you find unread messages from anyone? Yeah, because I still talk to my ex like a dumbass. Did the last message you received contain any emojis? No, Angela didn’t use any. Have you recently told anyone that you miss them? Yeah, I said it to Hans today because he messaged me for the first time since my birthday this year. Are you wearing a scrunchie in your hair today? What color? Not right now. I used my hairtie to tie up the bag of chips I wasn’t able to finish earlier, so unless I finish that up soon I won’t be able to tie my hair up in a ponytail for a while haha. Have you sent or received any friend requests on Facebook lately? Yuh, the people I interned with - Angel, Justine, and Bianca - added me on there recently. My cousin Maggie also made an account and added me. Can you recall the last time you turned down an offer, of any kind? My mom offered me the last churro earlier because she knows I love them, but I didn’t feel like eating anymore so I let her have it. What was the last film that you saw for the first time? I’m Thinking of Ending Things. ^ Did you enjoy it? I had a hard time with it, especially with the last 20 or so minutes; and it was the first time I found myself struggling with a Charlie Kaufman work. I wouldn’t say I didn’t enjoy it, though. I guess I just found it a little too complex, and films that make me THINK think are generally a hit-or-miss for me. Which swear word did you utter most recently? Probably fuck or a local swear word. ^ Was it because you were annoyed in some way? A little bit, yeah. My phone’s adapter was missing for a few moments. Do you ever find the smell of your pets’ food unpleasant? No. We feed them the same things we eat, so it would be kind of odd to call that unpleasant. When was the last time you reheated leftovers? Tuesday. It was a burger I failed to finish over the weekend. What was the last thing you ate, that was from a bakery? Can’t even remember the last time we ordered from a bakeshop...a pandesal is my best guess, but I can barely remember the last time I had one of those. Which fruit would you say you eat the most often? Haaaaaaaaaaaa. Is there a lake close to where you live? Nope. There’s a river, though. What was the last song you recall singing along to? Broken-Hearted Girl by Beyoncé. Have you uploaded any photos to social media today? Of what? No. Literally everyone has been posting photos of their flooded houses and neighborhoods all day, and it’d be insensitive to post pics of my otherwise (fortunately) normal and relatively unaffected neighborhood or some other type of photo. Are you in the process of reading a book? Which one? Nope.  ^ Are you enjoying it? - How recently did you charge the battery on your mobile phone? This morning, but I had to charge from my car because no electricity. I have to do it again, actually – my phone’s barely hanging on at 9%. Is there anyone you interact with every day, on social media? Yeah, my co-workers. In my new job, I’ll have to communicate with Ysa, Bea, and Steffi the most as I was placed in their team. What do you typically do to unwind at the end of the day? Watching the new episode of Good Mythical Morning and GMMore. Sometimes I’ll watch some wrestling too.

{found @ pinkchocolate}

--

Has anything fallen out of your pocket at any time recently? My vape pen. Luckily I was in my room because I would’ve been a dead daughter if it fell out in front of my parents. Do you have any books that you plan to read sometime soon? Yeah. I plan to resume Midnight Sun one of these days. It’s just a little hard at the moment because I first got it and read it during a rough phase two months ago...opening the book just brings back the memories. It’ll be a while before I’m able to dissociate from those thoughts and enjoy the book. Did anything disturb your sleep at all last night? Yes, the typhoon. The wind was loud enough to wake me up. The electricity also went out a little after midnight, so that also made it hard to fall back asleep. What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? Too many, but I deactivated Facebook again so it doesn’t matter. Do you enjoy any films with Judi Dench in them? Which ones? I respect her contributions as an actress but I’m generally not a fan of the films in her repertoire, so I haven’t seen any of them. I do remember wanting to check out The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, but I just never got around to it. Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? No, I don’t like tea. Are you currently wearing anything grey? Yeah, my current shirt is gray. Nice timing :) Name any object in your household that is purple. The pen on my work desk is purple. I also have a purple highlighter that I used while still in college. What was the last food item that you used your hands to eat? Churros. Have you seen anyone today that you consider to be attractive? Nope, I’ve only seen my family and even though I wouldn’t call them ugly, I don’t find them attractive in ~that way either. Do you recall what you were doing at 9:30 this morning? Trying to take a survey before realizing I wouldn’t be able to finish it because I felt a breakdown coming through. Do you use a moisturizer? What brand? No. My skin doesn’t really require lots of maintenance, so I’ve left it be for the most part. Do you currently own or use any toiletries with a fruity scent? I don’t think so. My shampoo has that original scent that just smells like...shampoo, I guess, my conditioner smells like milk, and my toothpaste is minty rather than fruity. Does anyone close to you have a beard? Dad, but he shaves it off all the time. The last time you were in your kitchen, what task(s) did you carry out? I made myself coffee. Name some pop groups that you loved as a child. Wasn’t into any as a child, but as a teenager I liked One Direction. Ok fine, as an adult too heheh Do you recall the first CD you ever owned? The High School Musical soundtrack lol Have you ever worked with anyone named Sophie? What was she like? I went to school with multiple Sophies but I never had to work with them. What terms of endearment do you mostly use when speaking to others? I use “b” or “bb” with nearly everyone, as long as it’s appropriate. Is anyone in your family currently pregnant? No. I used to think I was next, but I think I’ll be waiting a lot longer now. I don’t even know if it would still happen to me...which is sad, because I’ve always wanted a kid of my own. Do you have any specific plans for this weekend? If the typhoon subsides by this week I’ll be expecting my cross-stitch kit that I ordered online, and I can’t wait to start learning all weekend. {found @ pinkchocolate}

#survey #surveys

[lov3bone]

1-150

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Francesca

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Pretty shy generally

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My coworker tomorrow, he just got back from hip surgery and I’ve been worried lmao

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I can be, but I know I can flip like a switch on some people.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Probably not.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

People who are kind of jerks, or have a kind of mean personality. I also love people who are witty, and make it easy to keep a conversation going tbh.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I don’t know things are kinda rough rn lmao

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

This guy named Jeremy 

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Kinda

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Jeremy

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

I was kinda drunk, but I was talking about how I’m very confused

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Help - Blackbear, Guillotine - Jon Bellion, The Good In Me - Jon Bellion, Tear In My Heart - twenty one pilots, I Needed You - Blackbear (I’ve been fixated on blackbear lately)

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yeah, but only from certain people

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah lmAO

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I got to march in the gay pride parade

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yeah I would

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

There has to be. We definitely are not the only ones out here man omg

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Nope

19. Do you like bubble baths?

ehhhh nah

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Wouldn’t know, never met them. It’s been 16 years. Not gonna do it now.

21. What are you bad habits?

Drinking, pushing people away before they get a chance to get close, getting anxious and clinging to people while also not letting them help me lmfao

22. Where would you like to travel?

I wanna go to Sicily one day to see part of my family!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Y e s. sorry

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Wandering around by myself after work for a couple hours

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Jawline. Like. My neck. The little part between your chin and neck. I hate it.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Kind of sit there and boot for a second, then check my phone

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

I think I’m fine with my skin lmao

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My cousin, the age difference prevents me from really relating though. But she’s one of the only people that I feel safe around rn.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Yep.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Nope

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

n o 

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

None because I’m uncomfortable with sex LOL

33. Spell your name with your chin.

e,l,l,kioigt

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I don’t participate in sports anymore. But I used to be on a competitive crew team.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

I would rather live without tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Yes, many times

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I usually break that by doing something stupid or blurting out something stupid because awkward silences are uncomfortable

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Pretty sure I’ve answered this before, but my answer is definitely changed since then. My dream person would be someone who’s there for me. Not leave me on read, reassure me when I start getting anxious, not see only my mental illness. Go on adventures with me, hold my hand a lot and be down for cuddling whenever.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Target, hot topic (y EAH FUCKING FIGHT ME I LIKE THE T SHIRTS), zumiez, and tj maxx

40. What do you want to do after high school?

I’ve already been through it. But, I still don’t know. I’m trying to find my way the best I can.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Fuck no.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

If I’m being extremely quiet in person that’s pretty normal it’s more my facial expression while I’m being quiet that gives anything away. If it’s texting and I’m not seeking you out or not answering you should probably be concerned.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Sometimes

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space, the ocean is cool too but fuck the bottom hell no

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Either anxiety about my mom or I have to go to my job

46. What are you paranoid about?

Trusting others, being alone, certain people in my life, me

47. Have you ever been high?

Yes

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yes

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

I really don’t fucking care at this point, but I guess. I did a big bad thing earlier today.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Red

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yes

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My personality

53. Favourite makeup brand?

None lmao

54. Favourite store?

This pet store that’s kinda close to my house

55. Favourite blog?

@humiliated B)

56. Favourite colour?

My hair color, multiple types of greens and blues are my faves. I don’t really have a favorite 

57. Favourite food? 

cherry poptarts

58. Last thing you ate?

cherry poptarts

59. First thing you ate this morning?

nothing

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I don’t remember what I wrote last time but I don’t think it was anything

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Almost was expelled from my mom being an asshole and telling the school that I was a ‘ticking time bomb,’ they took it very seriously

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope

63. Ever been in love? 

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

It was with a boy and it was gross

65. Are you hungry right now?

no, I actually kinda feel sick

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

This is a bad question. I love all of my friends equally. 

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

No

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Azalea, Daria, Gianna

71. Craving something? What?

Affection, feeling wanted

72. What colour are your towels?

White.. With patches of green dye lmao

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

six

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

no, unless my dinosaur shaped pillow counts?

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Around 15 or more idk

75. Favourite animal?

Mantis shrimp. I get really excited about those fuckers for some reason.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Black, and covered in pokemon

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Green tea

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Light blue

80. What colour pants?

Blue

81. Favourite tv show?

BoJack Horseman

82. Favourite movie?

Ig zootopia

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Janis Ian

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

The turtle

87. First person you talked to today?

Francesca

88. Last person you talked to today?

Daria

89. Name a person you hate?

Jeremy

90. Name a person you love?

Nobody

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Yes

92. In a fight with someone?

Yes

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

3 pairs

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

13

95. Last movie you watched?

The Babadook

96. Favourite actress?

None

97. Favourite actor?

None

98. Do you tan a lot?

No

99. Have any pets?

Yeah I have a lot of pets lmao

100. How are you feeling?

Really bad now tbh

101. Do you type fast?

Depends on how I’m feeling

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes. Many things.

103. Can you spell well?

I do if I’m not intoxicated or anxious

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah 

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Nope

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

I guess

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes

108. What should you be doing?

Making amends

109. Is something irritating you right now?

YEP

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Mhm

111. Do you have trust issues?

Y e s. This was answered earlier on wtf

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I don’t really cry in front of people. I can’t remember. Probably Marielle. That was almost a year ago.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Samsam

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not anymore

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yeah, listening to blackbear

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Not really tbh

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yes I love chinese food

119. Favourite book?

Perks of being a wallflower

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

A little bit

121. Are you mean?

As of lately, yeah

122. Is cheating ever okay?

It’s never okay to do that.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell nO LMAO

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No

125. Do you believe in true love?

I’m not sure

126. Are you currently bored?

No

127. What makes you happy?

Not much. 

128. Would you change your name?

Yeah, I’m currently trying to 

129. What your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius 

130. Do you like subway?

Eh

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Give it a go, whatever.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Wtf more double questions. But Jeremy.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

‘I’ve been going to sleep with my head fucking pounding, ow’

It’s fucking relatable okay

134. Can you count to one million?

Probably

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

“Yeah I’m not drunk I swear.”

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

5′2

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Straight

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

October

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Fuck no

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee

146. Was today a good day?

No

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

Well, you come by it honestly, the ugliness inside you. You were born broken, that’s your birthright. There’s no cure for that. -BoJacks mother Beatrice

Kinda just hits home lmao

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

I’ve answered this like 4 times. Yes.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

A skin of seaweed had washed up on the rocks and jumped with sea lice.

#anon #this kept me occupied for a long ass time #and some of these i thought abt and some i kinda pushed #sorry i got a little edgy on some #idk #i havent been feeling too good lately #thanks for asking i guess #Anonymous #long post #ask oliver

[vernon-luv]

Different Pt.2- Vernon Series

admin k: i didn’t have time to edit it, sorry if theres a lot of mistakes. also if it’s cheesy…sorry lol and ik it’s long…sorry. idk! I just wanted it up as soon as possible. I will link the first part later on but I’m busy rn, posting really quickly!

word count: 3k 

genre: fluff

summary: vernon is an idol who falls in love with you, the reader, throughout the series and as time passes, they face troubles that may separate them

You thought that the time you met in the cafe would be the only time you’d ever see the boys, especially Vernon for the last time.

You never imagined that you’d meet up with them again…or get their numbers…or become friends with them. You didn’t know how just one meet up turned your life upside down.

Is…is it really happening? Are you really friends with idols? You weren’t exactly ‘fangirling’ but just surprised to know this was happening.

You only felt the shock of being friends with famous idols for a day. After that, you treated the situation as a casual thing since they are normal people..right?

They’re just like Hoshi, you’ve met them in person. Why was it still so hard to process this?

“Hi.” You breathed out. You’re next hang out with them came quicker than you thought.

This time, instead at a cafe, you were out to get dinner.

You were in front of Vernon as he gave you a small smile back. “Hi.” So you’re back to being awkward…

The others were much more casual with you which made you feel closer to them but with Vernon, you always felt distant at first. You hoped that the tension would go away later just like before.

Even with the tension, it drew you to be more curious about Vernon. He was very attractive, both on the inside and outside. Anyone who has eyes would say he’s attractive. His hair wasn’t styled today, it fell across his forehead, covering his eyebrows and his eyes a little bit. His hair was a little wavy and dyed brown. It looked naturally soft and it complimented his eyes. You could tell he was going for a more laid back look by his outfit. The black mask he wore covered most of his face which disappointed you since you loved to see his smile. Maybe he’ll take it off later on in the night.

Before meeting up, you had texted Vernon a few times. He showed his personality much more easily through his texts. He’d always send you something funny and reply to you often so you got to have good conversations with him.

“How was practice?” And now, you had to put so much effort into just making small talk with the guy.

Was he like this with everyone??

He talked in a low voice often while you two walked with the others to the restaurant near the Pledis building.

The conversation go nowhere so you let out a tired breath once you got to the restaurant.

After a while, you gave up on trying to talk to him. You weren’t going to force him to speak up or be the one to create a conversation between the two of you. He really was making you put in the effort and it upset you.

Instead of talking with Vernon, you talked with the other guys who easily made you laugh and smile and feel welcomed.

Vernon and you didn’t speak for a good amount of tim during the dinner. It wasn’t until the end of the night that the guy decided to finally speak to you in a commanding and loud voice.

He had grabbed your wrist a bit forcefully, stopping you from leaving. He didn’t pull you too hard because he didn’t want to hurt you or make it seem like he’s  a bad guy.

“Y/N.”

“What?” You groaned a little, turning around to him. He could tell you were a bit pissed off at him and he knew why…yet he still had a hard time apologizing and using his words.

All he could do was look at you in your eyes, in hopes you would understand that he was sorry.

You waited for an answer but seeing that he wouldn’t say anything for a while, you let out another big breath. Just as you were about to turn around again he quickly grabbed your wrist, shocking you but he kept his grip firm as he made sure to keep a strong eye contact with you.

“I’m sorry.” He finally said.

“For what?” You mumbled, feeling hurt and wanting to know what he was doing to you. How could he play you like this? Right now, you didn’t know what to think of Vernon.

Through messages, calls, tv shows and all that, he was so bright and happy but whenever you were with him, in person, he was a completely different person.

He bit his lower lip. “I’m not good with…talking, especially with you.”

You huffed. “I can tell.” You responded in a much bitter tone than expected. You continued to speak. “Look, you don’t have to talk with me if you don’t want to. I understand, you’re an idol, I’m just an average girl, a stranger to you. You’ll forget me faster if we just stop…keeping in contact now.” You decided to try to end things with Vernon.

Whatever you two had…

“No!” Vernon argued, becoming frustrated with himself for not being able to let his true feelings show. “Y/N…I like talking to you. Actually…it’s probably my favourite part of the day. I’ve been happier talking with you. Whenever I see your name pop up on my phone, it brings a smile to my face. Even ask Hoshi if you don’t believe me! I really do like talking with you, please..don’t leave.” His last words were a desperate, calming whisper that hit your heart oh so gently yet deeply.

Was…Vernon, an idol, asking you to stay? “That’s..the most I’ve heard you talk..ever. Even more than on music shows.” He laughed, showing off his shining white teeth. You loved his smile so much, especially when you were the reason why he was smiling.

Vernon let go of your wrist, seeing that you would stay with him. “I’m serious Y/N…” He spoke up again, wanting you to really understand that he was serious about you staying.

You gave him a small smile letting out a little huff. “I know Vernon, I know.”

“Vernon! Woozi called from a distance, calling for him to come with the others. 
 “You better text me.” Vernon said playfully. “I’ll see you later.” You said to him before waving to the others and headed the other direction.

Why was it that Vernon wanted you to continue your relationship with him? You were sure he had other friends, many idol friends. How could he possibly see something special in you? Weren’t you…just average? Just normal?

—-

You continued to talk through texts and calls, whenever you met up, he understood how to act around you now. He was much more open about himself and much more himself when you hung out as the days past. Then, months past and still, you were friends with Vernon.

It was surprising, thinking back to the time you met him up until now. You never thought you’d stayed this close to someone as big of an idol as he is.

Never would you imagine that you’d be friends with another idol, ever. Hoshi was the only idol friend but you knew him before fame.

Vernon…was different. You met him when he was already an idol.

At times, you of course forgot labels  and about your different worlds. Whenever the two of you talked, it felt like it was only you two in the whole world. He was your focus and your happiness for the moment.

You appreciated his friendship. Him being there was all you needed sometimes. At your worst, he was there to talk with you and when he was not feeling well, you were there for him.

Your friendship was strong and great as any other however, there were a few times where you’d..you’d wish things were different.

You’d wished that maybe…just maybe you lived in the same world, together. You didn’t know if it was because you truly loved having him in your life as a friend and wanted him by your side or…because there was something else there in your relationship. Vernon would make you feel butterflies in your stomach and you wouldn’t be able to sleep just because you kept thinking about him. You were confused. Did you like him? As a guy? Or is it just media that’s making him seem like..a perfect partner for you?

You had no idea and hated the thought, knowing it would never happen. It was impossible for you, a normal college student to love someone like him. How could he love you either?

You decided to think it was just a quick, useless thought so you shook it off and forgot about it but truly…you had that thought often and it hurt you..it really did.

“Would you…want to go out if you’re not busy?” Vernon asked through the phone in a soft, low and serious voice.

You were grabbing your keys from the living room while you were on a call with Vernon. You slowed down your movements, to think. He was asking just to hang out right? As friends? Of course he was! Why would he even ask you on a date? It was all in your mind.

“As…in a date?” He added. Fuck. But wait…is this a good thing?

You didn’t even think before already agreeing. “Y-yeah, I’d love to.” What are you getting yourself into?

“Great, then I’ll pick you up at 7?” You continued to say yes without thinking before you answered.

After ending the call you screamed, unsure if it was out of excitement or frustration.

You were happy to go out with Vernon right? You couldn’t believe, he’d asked you.

Is…is he being serious about it? What if someone finds out? It’s just one date…it’s nothing.

‘It’s nothing’ yet you still spent hours getting ready. He didn’t say where you were going but you still dressed up a little bit, just to make sure you were well dressed for wherever you were headed to.

7:00 came earlier than expected but you were already prepared and ready to go out with Vernon. Vernon Hansol Chwe. Wow, you’d never expected for yourself to be going on a date with an idol.

You weren’t starstruck, nor did you often think about him as an idol. He was more of a friend…a really famous, good looking friend to you. That..you were attracted to very much but, you had to keep in mind that there was a line between your average life and his fame life.

You treated you date with Vernon normal, as any other date you’ve been on because, you did know him and see him as a person in your life.

You didn’t know if there’d be another date but it seemed like your date went well for the two of you. You both smiled and laughed often, like your usual hang outs but this time, something different was that he secretly took your hand into his when you weren’t paying attention. He didn’t look at you when he took you head. Instead, his hood was one and he faced the other direction while you two were walking.

You giggled, biting your lower lip holding back your big smile. Giving his hand a squeeze, you let him know that you were happy that he held your hand and that you were okay with it.

When he did finally turn to look at you, his smile was so big and he acted like a child but he was cute. You loved his smile as always and you could never get enough of his smile or his happy mood around you. You wished you could see his smile everyday.

And again, you reminded yourself what your reality was and your smile faded a little bit. 
It wasn’t long til your date finally ended. “I would stay longer and do more things with you Y/N, but I have to get back to the studio.”

“It’s okay, I had fun.” You smiled, reassuring him that you understood that he had a job to get to and it was strict of him to get there on time.

He gave you a small smile. “Maybe we can do this again some time soon.” He hugged you and whispered in your ear, making you flustered.

Could you..really date him? Would your dream come true? Was it really that easy for you to just say yes?

“Yeah..I’d like that.”

And so, you had another date. And another, and another. The more time spent, the more attracted you were to Vernon and the more you fell for him.

He felt the same and there were days where the two of you would just stay up all night, thinking about the other one.

It still felt like a dream to you until really hit and your nightmare came along.

“Photos were leaked by Dispatch yesterday night of you two.” You had gotten a call from the CEO of Pledis, calling you in to a meeting with Vernon.

You didn’t even know that Vernon was going to be there until you entered the room. You had no idea why you had a meeting with Pledis but if the CEO calls, you thought it was important so you went to the building.

Directing you to one of the meeting rooms, you finally found out why you were there.

Seeing the photos from the news, you were surprised they had caught you out with Vernon. The photos weren’t horrible, it just showed the two of you walking out to a cafe, masked and covering your face.

There wasn’t much to say that you two were a couple yet the article tried stating otherwise. Rumours were now spreading about Vernon having a girlfriend which was you.

“You understand what this could do to Vernon’s image as an idol Miss Y/L/N? It’s only been a couple of years since he’s debuted. It’s not a good effect on his reputation as an idol to be in a relationship so soon in his career. He should be sen focusing on his group. Now, are you two really dating? Please tell me the truth so we can figure out maters this instinct before things become worst and more rumours spread.”

You had no words and you had no idea what to say. You knew something like this was to come, sooner or later but in the moment, you had said yes to dating him because..you did like him. Why couldn’t you be happy with him?

“Yes.” Vernon respond, confident but respectful. He felt no guilt in saying and confirming your relationship.

You looked to him but he kept his eye contact with his boss. You were still surprised of his answer. Why would he say that? What is he trying to get at? Wouldn’t you have to end things..? Doesn’t it sound like that?

The CEO of Pedis did not seem please about his answer but couldn’t be so angry as Vernon and you were only young adults, not fully aware of your mistakes.

“I’m sorry sir but it’s the truth and I’d like to continue being in a relationship with her. I also want to keep a good image so, if there’s any way to stop the rumours and keep our relationship a secret, I’d very much appreciate that sir.” He asked so kindly and he seemed so mature asking for such an offer.

You looked to the CEO, in hopes he would have a kind heart for you and Vernon.

He looked to both you and vernon, tapping his pen before placing it down. “This is a warning. If it happens again, I can’t promise anything. Surely, you’ll understand this is your only strike, don’t mess up. I’m warning you, I’m a man of my words and I’m telling you now, if it happens again, this relationship will be over and the two of you will no longer be able to see each other at all and under no circumstances.” He stood up, pointing at the both of you with his pen in a serious, dominant voice.

You both nodded and bowed, thanking him repeatedly before he tells you to leave.

“So..about what you said earlier..” You said in a small voice, looking up at him after you left the room. 
You were walking hand in hand and he laughed, placing a kiss on your cheek. “I thought we’ve already went through that Y/N.”

“I just…I just want to hear you say it.” You admitted.

He raised his eyebrows at you. “Say what? That you’re my girlfriend.” He exaggerated the word as he leaned in closer again and the two of you laughed. You pushed his chest gently, feeling your cheeks turn pink from how much he was making you feel flustered. —-

#vernon #vernon scenario #vernon scenarios

[gatorfruit-moved]

for the send numbers ask... i literally wanna know everything about you. just do all the ones you're ok with doing 💜

scghumaeca oh my god

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I honestly have no idea, probably Mack

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Outgoing but anxious lmao

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Probably Denny, I haven’t seen him for awhile and I think he’s going to be at our environmental conference. I need to talk to him about internships.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I guess, I’m kinda cold outwardly sometimes and bad at conversations

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Probably yeah, I’d get yelled at though

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

I usually like bigger guys but I think that’s the dyspohria talking. With girls I tend to like short sweet girls.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

God probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A girl I like

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Kinda??? I make dirty jokes but sometimes I get super dysphoric cuz my bottom dysphoria is BAD

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Mack last night, sad shit oof

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Will you both be home at normal times?”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Oof I don’t really keep favorite songs lmao. I like Hurt, Splash Mountain, (Fuck A) Silver Lining, This Is Home, and I Am Shit

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

God yeah

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Not really

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Last summer I became friends with the boys lmao

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I haven’t kissed anyone

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Of course, it’s unrealistic for there to be nothing

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No, I haven’t seen him for like 6 years

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Eh, I’m not a fan of baths in general

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I don’t know my new ones but my old ones were the worst

21. What are you bad habits?

Over and undereating, biting nails, drinking too much caffeine, self deprecation, there’s a lot

22. Where would you like to travel?

The Netherlands, Mexico, basically everywhere

23. Do you have trust issues?

Oh god yeah I do

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Seeing the dove in the morning I guess

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Hips, chest, groin basically

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Lie there for awhile and scroll through tumblr

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Darker tbh

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

Mack

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

I don’t have any ex’s

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Hell yeah, I wanna get married so bad

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

For a lil tiny one lmao, I need a haircut

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

gchueirmqo idk, I don’t get celebrity crushes

33. Spell your name with your chin.

I am on my laptop rip. Zscxott paeris aretghur kajhor. Hey pretty close.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I’m in marching band, I’m joining a men’s roller derby team, I would play hockey if I could, I might be joining wrestling but I’m afraid of getting shit from people

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

I mean music is in tv shows??? I listen to more music than I do watch tv but there’s the stories I get invested in on tv. But I also play music. I have no clue.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Uh, yeah. ofc

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Wow, riveting.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

I don’t really have one??? Idk I like people who make me feel safe cuz I never do.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

I like some of the newer GAP clothes, Market District is a good hangout place

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Go to Harvard and major in Biology.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Usually but one person did fuck me over that I don’t fuck with anymore

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Probably pissed off

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Not often, I zone out easily

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space, the ocean kinda freaks me out

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Mostly just Mack

46. What are you paranoid about?

Everything in the world

47. Have you ever been high?

No I’ve smoked like twice and it just gave me anxiety

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Another no, I don’t like the taste of alcohol but I had like half a mike’s

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Eh, not really

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black and white

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yeah, often

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I wanna be cis dude

53. Favourite makeup brand?

I don’t wear makeup but Lush has nice foundation

54. Favourite store?

No idea, Market District and GAP like the other question but it’s really not a thing for me

55. Favourite blog?

Oh lord idk

56. Favourite colour?

Violet, rust red

57. Favourite food?

Wedding soup

58. Last thing you ate?

I just ate a bunch of walnuts

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Uh, lunch, spicy chicken strips

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I’ve won a ton of academic ones because I’m super competitive. There’s a band one I won, there’s hockey intramurals I destroyed in, pickleball during gym too.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

I haven’t even had a detention

62. Been arrested? For what?

No but I’ve gotten yelled at by cops for no reason

63. Ever been in love?

I don’t really know. Platonically yeah

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Haven’t had one

65. Are you hungry right now?

No, I just ate

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I don’t really talk to anyone on tumblr

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Yeah, King of the Hill

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Mack

71. Craving something? What?

Mmmmmmmmmm t. And steak.

72. What colour are your towels?

Blue, tan, white, they’re all covered in hair dye too

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Like three full sized ones, a few smaller ones

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

A ton

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

^^^

75. Favourite animal?

Hyena

76. What colour is your underwear?

The ones I’m wearing rn are greeeeen

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Cookie dough or cake batter. Any sorta baked good flavors

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Black, it’s my annie cast shirt

80. What colour pants?

I’m not wearing pants

81. Favourite tv show?

King of the Hill and almost any old cartoon.

82. Favourite movie?

COCO BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Either Regina or Gretchen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Any of the sharks probably, I haven’t seen the movie for awhile

87. First person you talked to today?

Ms. Meyer

88. Last person you talked to today?

Dustin I think

89. Name a person you hate?

Alexa

90. Name a person you love?

Platonically, Mack

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

MMMMMMMM ALEXA

92. In a fight with someone?

Yeah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Like two pairs

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Six or seven I think

95. Last movie you watched?

Infinity War

96. Favourite actress?

I don’t really keep track of actors/actresses, probably Meryl Streep

97. Favourite actor?

Tom Holland cuz fuck man he didn’t have to kill me but he did

98. Do you tan a lot?

Not like going out to tan but whenever I’m in the sun, which is often, I tan really easily

99. Have any pets?

Yeah four dogs and a uromastyx

100. How are you feeling?

Eh, ok. I lost my voice so it’s deeper than usual which is nice.

101. Do you type fast?

I guess? I just took a test and I’m 67 WPM.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yeah a lot

103. Can you spell well?

Not out loud. I tend to skip some words since I’m better at math than language arts, I’ve got a numerical and art brain

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Opa, Cadmium, friends from shows

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yeah I host one every year

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Uh I highly fucking doubt it

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yeah it was fun, I miss it

108. What should you be doing?

Probably working on my finals

109. Is something irritating you right now?

My mom

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Oof yeah

111. Do you have trust issues?

Yeah really bad

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Probably Mack

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Boogie, pietje, there’s a lot

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yeah I’m from PA.

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not often

116. Are you listening to music right now?

No

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Hell yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Another hell yeah

119. Favourite book?

I really like When the Moon Was Ours but I’m not done with it yet, I haven’t gotten many chances to read it

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Not at all

121. Are you mean?

I mean jokingly yeah

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Oh god no, I’m a dirty nature boy

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No

125. Do you believe in true love?

Honestly I have no idea

126. Are you currently bored?

Kinda, it’s the depression lmao

127. What makes you happy?

Animals, people I get along with, tea

128. Would you change your name?

Legally yeah lmao

129. What your zodiac sign?

Aquarius sun, sagittarius moon, gemini rising, aquarius venus, aries mars, and capricorn mercury.

130. Do you like subway?

Yeah, meatball subs boi

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Idk honestly

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Mack

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love but I guess this avoids the stress of falling out of it.”

134. Can you count to one million?

Yeah

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk man, I don’t usually tell lies and when I do I honestly forget about them

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

A little over 5’6”

138. Curly or Straight hair?

I’ve got wavy hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Dirty blonde

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

September or October

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Not at all

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea

146. Was today a good day?

I felt accepted by some people I usually don’t, but there was some other stressful shit so it’s kind of a neutral day

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Shoot for the moon; if you miss you will die in outer space, which is cool” - Katya Zamolodchikova

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Eh, idk. I’m not a huge believer in the supernatural.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“It must make you sad,” Lian said, in a way that wasn’t warm enough to sound kind or sharp enough to sounds mean. “What happened with your mother

I included the whole paragraph cuz continuity. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks, this was a fucking adventure

#questions

[neoatlanticmooses]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Nathaniel Oscar 2. Are you outgoing or shy? Mostly outgoing. 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Probably my best friend. 4. Are you easy to get along with? I'd like to think so. 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I'd like to think he would even though I'm good at holding my own for the most part. 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? All kinds. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Hmm. Maybe? With the way things are going it's kind of confusing. Lots of mixed signals but I think the attractions there. 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? There's a couple (although not romantically affiliated). 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nope. It's like casual talk. 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Nathaniel Oscar. 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? "Where" when my best friend passed me at an intersection today. 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Uhhh. So hard to decide. 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Definitely. Even though it's short now. 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I do. 15. What good thing happened this summer? Since it's almost summer, I can say surviving organic chemistry. 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? No. 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Sure. 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Nope. 19. Do you like bubble baths? Occasionally but I'd rather have a bath bomb. 20. Do you like your neighbors? They alright. 21. What are you bad habits? Readjusting things excessively when I'm anxious. Biting my lip or cheek but other than that I don't really have any. 22. Where would you like to travel? Australia, Germany, Italy, France. 23. Do you have trust issues? Not really, but if I find out you've lie to me excessively, then it's really hard to gain back my trust. 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Strangely, making my bed right after I get up. 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? I'm not really too conscious anymore, but I'd have to say my feet. 26. What do you do when you wake up? Roll over, read some quotes off my stickie-note "wall", and get up to make the bed. 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Indifferent. As long as I don't get burned in the sun too bad. 28. Who are you most comfortable around? My best friend. 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? I've broken up with all but 1 of my ex's so. 30. Do you ever want to get married? I've only really seen myself getting married to one person and we actually talked about it this past week. It's crazy. But either way, I'm indifferent. If it happens it happens. 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Shintaru. Nope, but when I tie the top up I look like an old Asian man lol 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Eh. 33. Spell your name with your chin. Uhhhh 34. Do you play sports? What sports? I'm thinking about joining a roller-derby team since I don't bowl on a league anymore. 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? I can live without TV. 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Come to think of it, not really. I'm usually upfront with people. 37. What do you say during awkward silences? It's only awkward if you make it. I'm okay with silence. 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Pass. It puts an imagine in people's minds on what they're supposed to be. I want them to be themselves. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Marshall's. 40. What do you want to do after high school? After college? Research and travel. Preferably both at the same time. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? It depends. Cheaters? No. other situations can be worked out. 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Other than just being a normal thing for me, it doesn't really mean much. I usually tell people when I'm really displeased/upset about significant things. 43. Do you smile at strangers? Yup. 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Outer space. The ocean is hella scary. 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? There's shit to do! People to see! Dogs to pet. Food to eat. 46. What are you paranoid about? Everything perpetually. 47. Have you ever been high? Definitely. 48. Have you ever been drunk? Countless times. 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not really. If you ask me about something I'll probably tell you. 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Gray. 51. Ever wished you were someone else? Not really. 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I wish that I wasn't so observant because I pick up on things that get me hurt easily. 53. Favourite makeup brand? No makeup. 54. Favourite store? Marshall's 55. Favourite blog? Any of the plant related ones. 56. Favourite colour? Red, but lately earthy green tones. 57. Favourite food? Indian food. 58. Last thing you ate? Pasta. 59. First thing you ate this morning?... ice cream. 60. Ever won a competition? For what? Idk. 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nope. I'm a good noodle. 62. Been arrested? For what? The one time I almost was, Nathaniel talked us out of it. 63. Ever been in love? I'd say so. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? The guys name was Matthew. He smelled of cigarette smoke, cheap cologne, and was trying to grow facial hair at 16 lol it was bad. 65. Are you hungry right now? Nope. 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I have friends? 67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook 68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr. 69. Are you watching tv right now? No 70. Names of your bestfriends? Amanda 71. Craving something? What? For someone to come lay down in bed with me. 72. What colour are your towels? Mostly white. 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 4 regular and two decorative on the side. 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Not really 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? In my room? 3. Countless throughout life. 75. Favourite animal? Elephants. 76. What colour is your underwear? Black. 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Strawberry or spumone. 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Black. 80. What colour pants? Green plaid shorts. 81. Favourite tv show? Bones 82. Favourite movie? Mad Max, Howl's Moving Castle, Home, The Danish Girl,.. so many. 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Neither. 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Neither 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Uhhh 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory! 87. First person you talked to today? Amanda. 88. Last person you talked to today? My mom. 89. Name a person you hate? Donald Trump. 90. Name a person you love? Lots of people. 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Donald Trump. 92. In a fight with someone? Nope. 93. How many sweatpants do you have? 4 pairs 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Countless. 95. Last movie you watched? Beauty and the Beast 96. Favourite actress? Emma Watson 97. Favourite actor? Eddie Redmayne 98. Do you tan a lot? Nope. I want healthy skin. 99. Have any pets? A dog, some fish, and a gecko. 100. How are you feeling? Peaceful. 101. Do you type fast? Moderately. 102. Do you regret anything from your past? Some things, but all is good. 103. Can you spell well? I'd say so. 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? "It's important to realize you can miss something, but not want it back". 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes 107. Have you ever been on a horse? No lol and I live in the horse capital of the world. 108. What should you be doing? Nothing. It's a Friday night. M 109. Is something irritating you right now? Not really. 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? I'd say I'm in an interesting situation lol 111. Do you have trust issues? I already answered this. 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Probably Amanda. 113. What was your childhood nickname? Uhhh lol 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Tons of times. 115. Do you play the Wii? No 116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I'm vegetarian. 118. Do you like Chinese food? Oh yeah. 119. Favourite book? Biophilia 120. Are you afraid of the dark? Kind of 121. Are you mean? I hope not! I don't mean to be. 122. Is cheating ever okay? Absolutely not. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? The whites of Chucks I can! 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes. 125. Do you believe in true love? Yeah 126. Are you currently bored? I don't get bored. There's always something to do. 127. What makes you happy? Plants! 128. Would you change your name? Nope 129. What your zodiac sign? Capricorn 130. Do you like subway? I like Jimmy Johns better, but I hate their CEO. 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? If I like them back then I go for it, it not then I get there when I get there. 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Nathaniel Oscar. 133. Favourite lyrics right now? I'm listening to instrumental music rn. 134. Can you count to one million? I can. 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I don't tell lies. I'm always real with people. 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed. 137. How tall are you? 5'5 138. Curly or Straight hair? Curly 139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette 140. Summer or Winter? Fall. 141. Night or Day? Mornings=Day. 142. Favourite month? October! 143. Are you a vegetarian? I am LOL 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? White chocolate. 145. Tea or Coffee? Tea forever. 146. Was today a good day? I'd say so! Lots of laughs and smiles. 147. Mars or Snickers? Mars 148. What’s your favourite quote? Too. Many. 149. Do you believe in ghosts? Kind of. I haven't been given a reason to or not to. 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? Too. Far. Away.