#it's why finding a partner is so difficult bc i feel like so many people can't communicate properly

[nighttimenothings]

it's so easy to find someone attractive, but it's harder to find someone who's in tune with their emotions and knows how to regulate it?? like finding someone emotionally stable, or at the very least, knows how to communicate what they need is so very difficult.

not saying i'm the perfect example of that, but just Trying is enough, you know? being unable to communicate or being mature about what you need and can give a partner is the quickest way to turn me off, honestly. it's just so simple and clear-cut to me, and when someone else can't meet me there, it's just immediately a no from me.

it's not my job to fix someone or change them. i mean, yeah, i can communicate how i feel with someone, but if they can't or won't address the issue, i just don't feel like it's worth sticking around. my mental health deserves better. *i* deserve better.

i think about this a lot actually, and it all comes back down to, like, the bare minimum. people settle for the bare minimum literally every single day. i hear "oh, but they're nice and funny" all the damn time. okay??? and??? so your partner is playing limbo with a bar in hell. good! great! but you deserve so much more than that?? why should you be settling for less??

every and all relationships are a two way street. it's a give and take system. you should be able to talk to each other, and if not, that's something to reflect on.

#this is all over the place and i'm just. so Effected by this. #it's why finding a partner is so difficult bc i feel like so many people can't communicate properly #like i don't have time for this shit!!! #and maybe that's a hot take and an unwelcome opinion but hey if you don't fuck with this no one is asking you to stick around my blog #lesbian #sapphic #wlw #men and minors dni #nighttimerambles #NNlongnights

[prettyboykatsuki]

✮ cw ; fem!reader, reader is a soldier + shorter than jing yuan, referred to as wife (they are engaged), sfw

✮ wc ; 683

✮ a/n ; wrote this on my phone bc if i went on my laptop it would be a fic

“General is summoning you to his chambers,”

One of your roomates gives you a half-look of amusement as she ties her hair back with a black hair band.

“He’s calling on you a lot these days,” She says, pony tail swishing as she moves to sit on the edge of her bunk “How bad did you screw up last week for him to be this persistent?”

You stand to your feet, tossing a shirt at her with a look of disdain. Though her words irritate you, it’s probably better they believe in them.

“Shut up. I’m pretty sure he’s just looking for a chess partner since Master Diviner isn’t around,” You reply with a hint of annoyance “Knowing him it’s nothing important.”

“Perks of being unit captain,” Your other roommate adds sarcastically. You curse at them under your breath before leaving your room.

It’s late now, as you’re being led once again to the General’s chambers. The walls of the dormitory seem to close in like this, faintly illuminated by dimmed candlelight and the moon filtering in through the window.

The soldier instructed to guide you disappears once he’s knocked. You stand alone in the dark, waiting only moments before the door slides open to reveal General Jing Yuan.

He smiles at you bemusedly. You’re sure your feelings show on your face - an impossible furrow in your brows. You curl your hand to a fist, right hand over your heart with your eyes to the ground.

“General Jing Yuan, Sir.”

He leans against the door frame, a low laugh in his mouth.

“At ease, soldier. Come in,”

You avoid looking up at him as you cross the threshold of his door as you have so many times before. It slides closed behind you as the General sits on the edge of his desk.

“Why have you called me here, Sir?”

“I’ve called you here as my lover, not my Captain. No need for the theatrics.”

You sigh.

“I had a feeling. People are going to start being suspicious. And this is a gross misuse of your position.”

“Misuse, you say? How accusatory,” He tilts his head in amusement “Is it so wrong to want to see my beloved after hours?”

A flush fills you at that.

“It’s inappropriate as your subordinate, Sir.”

“You’re my lover before that. And my soon to be wife. This much is nothing.”

“You’re impossible to reason with.”

“Yes, yes. Now kiss me,”

You give him another look of disproportionate irritation but relent as you usually do. Jing Yuan is a strange man. His generally lackadaisical behavior is easy to adjust to. His penchants for being doted on less so. You walk over to him anyway, standing between his legs to give him a brief.

Perhaps you’re too foolish. He’s quick to draw his arm around your waist - a small smile on his features as he holds you to his body. He grins, leaning down to kiss you more tenderly. Longer and deeper and more foolhardy. He doesn’t kiss how you’d expect him too. It’s impassioned in a way that makes it hard for you to stand straight. Leaves you weakened, hands curled at his chest as he holds you.

He pulls away to place kisses on other parts of your face. Your cheek and the corners of your mouth and where your eyelashes meet your lids. He only pulls away entirely when you’ve laughed against your will.

“There it is,” He says, accomplished. You don’t bother suppressing it “Quite refreshing.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Most lovesick men are, are they not?”

You yield at his persistence.

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve only been engaged to one.”

He grins at that. “A shame you’ll never get to find out.”

“Any more than this will be difficult and annoying.”

“But this much is just fine?”

You sigh in faux exasperation.

“Yes. Just this much,”

Jing Yuan hums, dropping his chin on the top of your head with a contented hum.

“Really? I was wondering if I could make love to you before it became suspicious of you to return. Pity,”

“Jing Yuan!”

#jing yuan x reader #hsr x reader #writing tag #he’s literally in my brain the quest yesterday ruined my whole life rip

[outro-jo]

nct 127 with autistic partners

pairing: nct 127 members x reader

type: scenario

summary: how the nct 127 members help their autistic partners

request: yes

warning: mentions overstimulation, touch, food, meltdown in johnny’s, stimming

a/n: please lmk if johnny’s makes any of you uncomfortable. i’m hesitant to talk about the topic even though it’s necessary to talk about and normalize. it’s just difficult and i know that VERY well. 🤍 also please know that these (and the skz one) are just small examples of what some autistic people can experience and these may not be the only ways they would help their partners. 

masterlist | info

—————————

taeyong- you were surprised to find out that despite being so busy and having to worry about 20+ “kids” of his own, taeyong is really good about texting and checking in on you. not only with basics like, “did you eat today? drink your water? take your vitamins?” but he spends a lot of time away from you and he doesn’t want you to get anxious or worry about his feelings towards you. he never assumes that his actions are speaking louder than his words when a lot of the time you struggle to interpret the feeling behind actions anyways. he’s very forthcoming with how he feels about you and will often just tell you he’s been thinking about you and misses you even when he’s been gone for just hours. (which like why… you just left how do you miss me?? 😂😂) 

taeil- the patience on this man is surprising. something that can be difficult for allistics to deal with is when autistic people get stuck on something in their head or just stuck in a mindset in general. taeil is very calm when explaining things to you as many times as you need to get on the different train of thought. he does his best to let you work through whatever it is that has you stuck. when it’s a difficult or dangerous mindset that your brain has you trapped in, he’s there for whatever you need and is great at reassuring you that everything is ok. 

johnny- johnny is really good under stress. he’s steady as a rock and it comes in handy in stressful situations which you can’t really handle all that much. you feel all the intense energy and it usually gets loud so it immediately triggers a meltdown. he’s just really good in any type of meltdown situation, whether it builds from the day and something small makes you snap or you’re relatively fine but something intense sets it off. he makes sure you have your headphones on and holds you tight to him. also talking you through the post meltdown guilt after bc it’s so real 😩

yuta- he LOVES hearing about all your special interests. he loves when you like sit and fidget with something and just ramble away about whatever it is you know literally everything about. he also loves to take you places where you can experience your special interest in a deeper way. i.e. special museums or experiences. even if he has no interest in the topic whatsoever, he just loves that you love it.

doyoung- he’s a very affectionate person but he’s very respectful and understanding which makes him perfect for you since you don’t like to be touched. he always asks for permission before touching you in any way first, even if it’s a small gesture like wiping your face when you’re eating (bc he just does that for people anyways). although at first when you rejected a hug from him, he was a little hurt and confused but did his best not to show it. once you explained it though, he was much more aware of his actions and if he needs a hug he’ll find one of the boys. 

jaehyun- this man knows the importance of a safe space not just emotionally in your relationship together but also physically like in your shared home. he worked really hard to make sure the lights weren’t too much, none of the blankets and furniture felt weird, all the smells in the house were mild and pleasant, safe foods always stocked, he even went as far to soundproof the bedroom so outside noise isn’t an issue. he also has lots of fidgets around the house and on his person for when you need to stim. 

jungwoo- similar to taeyong but in a different sense, hear me out. he knows how overwhelmed you get when you have to be around more people and especially people you’re not used to. it can kinda feel like you’re a sim without someone at the controller. you walk in the room of people and immediately feel like it’s too much and not do basic things that most people do easily. your default is just to stand at the edge of the room awkwardly, totally unsure of how to function. people may ask, “are you hungry? can i get you a drink? you can sit here if you want!” and you’ll deny everything despite being hungry, thirsty, or needing to sit. playing the “human part” can get so confusing when you’re overwhelmed and you may feel like your basic needs are burdensome to others even when it’s literally a party and every one is eating, drinking, and relaxing. so jungwoo is always at your side with his hand in yours to reassure you. he feels like a safer person you can say your needs too without feeling like a burden. he’s always so sweet and patient with you to make sure you get everything you want. 

mark- mark pays close attention to the sounds in the room. it’s something he never thought much about before he met you but when you explained it to him, it actually made a lot of sense to him. he always keeps you close by in case of a particularly loud noise he can cover your ears in time or be there to reassure you. he also keeps an extra pair of noise canceling headphones with him or at least some little ear buds in his pocket. he becomes attuned to helping you with some of your other sensory issues but sound is one that triggers you more often so he knows what to look out for. 

haechan- he found you intriguing when he first met you mostly bc you were kinda concerned with how he was being treated, especially by yuta. he thought it was really endearing when you’d get upset that he was being “slighted” but he explained that it was all a joke… you didn’t find it that funny. donghyuk loved that you cared so much for him so quickly and that you always wanted to show that you cared even if it meant you doing things you weren’t entirely comfortable with like hugging or other skinship. haechan was equally careful not to push skinship so much or just throw it on you without any warning. he was also careful with his jokes and not to tease you too much and upset you. overall he’s just very considerate. 

taglist: @ujejdjd

#kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop imagines #nct reactions #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct fic #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 fic #nct 127 reactions #taeyong #taeil #johnny nct #yuta #doyoung #jaehyun #mark nct #haechan

[faith--in-the-future]

Now you got me curious lol so which questions would you ask Louis if you were able to do an interview with him (on camera, not on paper)

ahh honestly so many ! and most importantly I would ASK HIM TO ELABORATE!! it drives me CRAZY when he says a hint of something bigger that he thinks and people LET IT DROP!! like UGH go deeper! ask him for examples etc etc and don't let him get away with vague answers lolol

in specific idk exactly bc I'd try to follow the flow of conversation and also it depends on what he's promoting at the time ! but guessing it was for an album I'd start with general questions about what was the "drive" for this album so like which concept(s) started it, is there something in particular you tried to communicate etc etc then asks about sounds, the production, specific choices he made etc (it's hard to do this based on an imaginary album lol)

more in general I'd want to ask him stuff like

- how come do you enjoy and support artists like the snuts or Sam fender or stone etc which like to make political and social commentary but you don't seem to want to make that kind of music yourself? (then elaborate based on his answer)

- love is such a central theme of your music and often it's portrayed in its most impervious and hurtful aspects, would you say that that comes from an abundance of experience in those aspects from you or is it more because that side just inspires you more ?

- what would you say are the most difficult parts of love/relationships for you? what have you encountered most that was hard for you?

- hope is another central theme of your music, do you feel like it can be hard to make hopeful songs without bordering on cliches or just empty optimism ? (and I'd reword the question also in reference to what seems to be his life motto too)

- in terms of hope, would you say that you were more cynical when you were younger ? and if so why do you think that is ?

- in your music and your life you seem to deeply appreciate and protect your friendships, but there's also a lot of longing for a partner in your music, do you think that friendships alone could be enough for you or are you someone who is happiest when they're with their significant other too? ( if he says the second option ) and what specifically do you find in a partner that other forms of relationships don't give you?

- your music is at times referring or hinting at sex, often with very effective and imo interesting metaphors and symbolism, but I wanted to ask is it a deliberate choice for you to be more symbolism rather than explicit on this topic?

- as a woman I have often felt objectified or sexualized by male singers and directors etc so I am always grateful that with your music there never are contents that make me or , from what I've heard, any of your female identifying fans feel that way, is that also something that u consciously decide to do or is it just subconsciously part of your work bc that's how you operate in life in general?

- speaking of these topics, you have said in the past that when you make music you take into consideration what that music will leave to the listeners, for example you try to leave them with hope and resilience rather than despair, do you ever feel like this ideal limits you while making music? like for example you'd write something but then discard it bc in your opinion it's not something that you'd want the listeners to be left with after listening?

- if that answer is yes then what would be some examples of things you avoid bc of that reason?

and I'd have MANY MORE QUESTIONS honestly I could go on all day especially if I had a whole new album to base them on!

then I'd also ask questions about his opinions on other things like

- in your opinion what is the worst characteristic of today's approach to music making?

- what do you think is lacking most in today's music and that you'd hope to see in the future?

- do you think that music fans sometimes also have a wrong approach to music too?

then I'd ask like

- you always talk about your relationship with us fans and how much you treasure it but it is no secret that you've had issues with certain aspects of fandom too, how do you juggle with contrasting feelings? knowing that those behaviors you have issues with (rightfully so) might be coming from the same fans that you feel loved by at concerts?

- in your relationship with fans I know you get comfort by our closeness and our comradery but do you ever feel like those aspects of it might be a double edged sword sometimes? bc fans might feel like they're entitled to doing and knowing more things than what is actually appropriate?

I'll stop now bc it would be too long but ahh ... so much to know!!

#ask #anon #imaginary interview

[elysiansparadise]

hi!! adding to ur venus series that i saw in ur profile, can you tell me more about venus in the 5th house? i don’t know a lot about it, but sometimes i don’t relate to it. maybe it’s bc i have it in retrograde, idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ thank u and have an amazing day

Venus in the 5th house

These natives know how to enjoy what for others would be little things, they find a lot of pleasure and comfort in being on their own and they are always looking for ways to improve their self-esteem and pamper themselves. They are usually the typical people who initially seek self-love before love in another person. They have as a goal to have a stable self-esteem and are on a constant journey to self-acceptance. They can become very demanding with themselves, and they can have this difficulty in seeing all their virtues in them. They have a beauty that stands out more in the eyes of others than in their own, they can attract many people, since their appeal is quite great. They take great care of their appearance and usually give very good impressions even without meaning to. They can attract people who are intimidated by their confident and powerful aura, which is why many of their suitors may remain hidden or may be a bit shy [in the case of suitors, if there are Venus-Mars aspects, if Mars is in 5th house along with Venus or the native is Moon dominant may not be so shy].

In terms of relationships, these natives yearn, desire and make it their main priority to find someone with whom they can be themselves without feeling judged or limited, since self-expression is something crucial for them. They are very loyal people, but it seems that it is difficult for them to fall in love, and it is not because they do not believe in love, but rather because they know what they are worth, they have found that value in them that it cost them to see at an early age. They may even have a somewhat traditional view of love. No matter what the sign or any of the big three, these natives are looking for a cute romance with a touch of passion and big dollops of fun. They are able to give their partners that immediate joy, that comfort, and that chance to be themselves. We meet people who, when they love, do so in the most genuine and radiant way. These people can either be constantly dating and very flirty, or, in case Venus is retrograde or aspecting Saturn [along with Saturn in the 5th or 7th], they don't give themselves that opportunity as much and make themselves a top priority to find the key to self-worth.

These natives do not like that they do not pay attention to them, since they want to receive what they give, they are capable of listening to you attentively and for them there is no greater sign of love than seeing how your eyes light up when you hear them talk about what they like, I guarantee they will do the same. Small details like that are huge expressions for them. Those with this placement can have with them the gift of art, they can have a unique way of expressing themselves and capture who they are, what they want or their perception of the world through their artistic works. They are people with great aesthetics, who enjoy experimenting and trying new things until they find what they are comfortable with. The best compliments you can give them are those referring to the great weight they have in your life and how well they do what they are passionate about.

-> Go back to the masterlist

#venus in the 5th house #venus #astrology #natal chart #5th house #astro note #astro observation #birth chart

[creaturefeaster]

Whats the deal with Calamea and Atrox?? Also Calamea lore/art please 🥺👀

I didn't have any recent Calamea-specific art, but Atromea is the next best thing.

I'm assuming you mean what's up with their dynamic, as a duo. To put it short and simple, they are an uncomfortable experience for everyone, themselves included. The only thing keeping them a duo is the fact that Calamea revels in the unease of other people.

Their long deal is this:

Atrox, a very light shade of pink, is a very fragile color as he is past the visible spectrum (red to violet). Descending on his own would be difficult, and it would be likely that he wouldn't make it past the transition of realities. Because of this, Calamea (his partner*) offers to protect him during the descent. They hold on tight together during The Fault, and upon their collision into reality they fuse together as one.

*Calamea is never very kind to Atrox, and Atrox thinks rather lowly of himself as a result. So Atrox both thinks he doesn't deserve better, and also thinks that by being in a relationship, he is keeping Calamea tame and under control.

So they are together as one when they take their first steps in the physical reality. They're more shaken and weak than most other mimes when they arrive, but it's better than Atrox not making it at all. Plus, it means he can still keep Calamea on the tame side. So he thinks, at least.

Calamea instead reigns dominant in this mushed duo, causes Atrox great guilt and grief through the actions he feels he had a part in, and after enough stress he forces a split. Calamea did not want this, because she knew it made Atrox uncomfortable, knew it was probably irreversible, and wanted the control.

The worst of it all is that Calamea realises alone, she is not what she expected to be, finds that they swapped a few qualities with each other, in a way, and only begins to treat Atrox worse.

This is why I've said many of the mimes don't really like Calamea, with a few exceptions. She not only messes with Atrox for fun, but she also just does what she does to make everyone uncomfortable. That, and just the way she chooses to enjoy herself also squicks people out in general.

Aside from her. twisted relations. Calamea is also really pretty smart. She's much more calculating than people realise, and it's why Rede and her get along... kinda. She is a part of a previously mentioned group that helped launch The Fault-- the arrival of their kind into the physical plane-- into reality.

She likes to get herself caught up in people's business, specifically people who she thinks are dumb's business, because it means she'll find a way to fuck up whatever it is they're up to. Because that's fun, or whatever. She likes to hang out with Twiddle and Jarna a lot, if that means anything. Also really likes to mess with Tanner's trio. 🤷‍♂️

Anyways that's a bit about Calamea, and her tie with Atrox. Leaned more on Calamea's side bc that's what it looked like you wanted, so not much Atrox lore for this ask <:3... Atrox needs a break from Calamea anyways.

#oh cally and atty......

[nikatyler]

𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟚 Recap: Main Characters

Long post, woah. Well, I do have eight main OCs so no wonder...😂 I tried to pick my favourite 9 pictures of all of them from 2022. It was really difficult with some because they only had a few pictures (but in the end, everyone had more than 10). As always, Ross and Tyler win.

Let's talk characters under the cut, shall we?

Caleb, Tyler, Bianca

I didn't really develop their sims selves, but rather their nonsims counterparts in my vampire story -- Killián, Tori and Bianka. I need to get back to that. The burnout was getting to me so I took a little break but I should get back to writing now. Long story short, shit's going down and I'm so close to wrapping everything up!

I continue diving deep into Tyler's feminine side and I love every single minute of it. I should not be feeling this much gender envy but yes I do get a lot of gender envy from Tyler okay lol

Sharon

Same deal, I mostly developed her nonsims counterpart, Saren.

For her sims version, I considered making her a werewolf again, but I still haven't made the final decision...however, I'm like 99 % sure she will canonically be a werewolf.

Rory

Aka new Rachel because I wasn't really happy with Rachel's design anymore and needed a change. Rory is hands down one of my most beautiful sims I've created this year.

I haven't taken many pictures of her though...something to fix in 2023.

Ross & Claeb

Ross. The man, the myth, the legend. Not much to say about his development, but he got a lot of attention. Especially on twitter. Instagram too, I guess. Why is it that wherever I go, people love him? Is he really that amazing? 😂 I mean, I love him, but I never thought people would feel the same way and I still find it hard to believe.

Thank you, though. When you compliment him, I get more powerful, and that's not even a joke lol.

As for their relationship and the way I feel about them. Well, the rollercoaster lasted for...years, actually, but I think we're finally done with the ride. Caleb just *is* part of my OC group, there's no way around it. The face might be a townie but the personality I gave him, that's all my work...but at the same time, pouring that same personality behind another face just doesn't work lol.

And yes, they did break up in the legacy...I'll wrap up that storyline too, don't worry. 👀

Callias

Started off as a Caleb replacement, now a separate character who doesn't have that much in common with Caleb actually. Still needs a lot of development but boy. Do I love him.

Part of me wants to do a BC with him next year, part of me is like...he wouldn't settle for one partner. He's immortal, he's had many mortal lovers, he knows they'll go away, he's not too bothered by it. That's just the way he rolls, he's not looking for a forever soulmate.

Oh and he has history with Caleb...and shhh, I'm not sure if I'll explicitly say it in the legacy, but he'll have a thing with Ross too off screen (ts4!Ross I mean, ts3!Ross is a different deal) 🤭 And I wonder if I should have all three of them canonically meet later but...

Well, in an AU save...👀 All I'm saying is that they all would get along very well 🤭 Callias would somehow insert himself into their relationship for a bit and they'd just accept it. I feel like neither of them would realize they lowkey became a polycule until someone else would point it out 😂 But still, Callias wouldn't be with them *all* the time.

#ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #sims #simblr #rose legacy extra #breeze nsb legacy extra #oc: caleb #oc: tyler #oc: bianca #oc: sharon #oc: rory #oc: ross #*caleb #oc: callias

[girlvinland]

Something I really can’t deal with after what happened with my last partner is when people make the conscious decision to lie when it’s something really big, and not just like. A white lie to be nice or whatever.

I feel like if you lie a lot about big things, you should investigate that and find out why. Maybe it’s because you’re doing something inappropriate or cruel and don’t want to be found out. Maybe it’s because you’re afraid of another person’s reaction. Maybe it’s something else, idk. But the solution is not to continue lying.

Sincerely, I wish people would ask themselves some things in these cases like 1) am I lying bc I’m afraid of their reaction (could be a big or small reaction, but let’s say there’s just the potential for a negative one)? 2) Is this belief grounded in any kind of reality, and if so, how can I lessen the potential for a negative reaction? 3) How much do I value this person and am I willing to do the hard thing and be honest even if it might hurt them?

It’s something you really have to weigh out. If you really do value someone, but want to be honest while knowing they might have a negative reaction, there are things you can do to make it easier. Writing a letter. Therapy together, or at least having someone who can mediate without bias. Just. Learning how to be direct and have a difficult conversation. If someone reacts badly, that’s often more on them, and maybe in some cases you’ll have to ask if they need or want space, or even say you need or want space, then come back later. Maybe you will have to distance yourself permanently.

There are just so many options to navigate hard things that aren’t lying to someone. I think a necessary skill to have in relationships is learning to figure those out. Many people will be thankful you were honest with them, even if it was painful in the moment.

#by bug

[arceespinkgun]

as a megatron enjoyer it is very difficult to find fics where he isn’t immediately clumped into the Big Masc role in a ship and it’s really frustrating! once i tried to look through the megashock tag bc i thought it would be a fun ship to read and it was all tfa where shockwave was put into this weaker feminine role and it was frustrating! i enjoy megastar, megasound, and a number of other ships and it’s so frequently just the same thing over and over again— Big Masc and Little Femme esc roles that don’t make sense for the characters.

i don’t think characterizations need to be perfect— especially in a fandom like transformers where there’s so many variations to the characters, but i find it ridiculous just how often it’s just the Big Masc and Little Femme roles being reused in various contexts. it especially makes it difficult to find fics that aren’t that

This is about this post where I talked about why I think there's an odd and surprising gap between the amount of MegaStar and MegaSound content in the TF fandom, and I speculated that it's because fans want a ship where it's easy for them to force the characters into very conventional boxes that don't actually fit them.

My partner really likes Megatron and MegaSound and has probably read every single MegaSound fic and he feels your pain, there is some good, in-character content that doesn't put them in roles like this but it still barely exists!

I do get TFA MegaShock, though I don't seek it out, and I would bet nearly every single fic with them is not only about Shockwave being small and femme like you say, which is bizarre for his character in that show, but also that it's always about Shockwave pining and wasting away for big masc Megatron who never looks his way lol

And I'm with you on characterization being flexible because of how TF is, that's something I really like about it. There's canon content for different series that can suit almost any fan's tastes! But I wish people took their characterization from somewhere or would occasionally stop to think about why they're portraying things the way that they are. This is something I've been increasingly annoyed by lately.

I'm going to put this next thing under a cut because it talks about... um... interfacing in TF fic:

Can I just say it bothers me as well that I've noticed a large number of fics and artworks that use the tag "bottom Megatron" and make it look like they're going to buck this trend but then they 1) do the exact same thing again but they switch which character is in which role, which is just as OOC and revealing or they 2) change absolutely nothing except Megatron's bottoming, as if what the character literally does while interfacing solves the issue. Sometimes I wonder if this is such a trend because people want to feel like they're doing something but really they're not!

#Megatron #MegaSound #MegaShock #MegaStar #my analysis #Also just so people know I do not like MegaStar #I get why people may ship it in some continuities but I prefer them as worsties and that's the only dynamic I feel fully comfortable with #I'm fine with analyzing it from like a fandom history perspective but I am not a person people should look to for content or enjoyment

[pinnithin]

long kind of sad gay poast ahead

saw something about loving the unlovable and it got me thinking about how its a central theme in most of my writing. paired with like, isolation, being separate/other, the doomed concept of human connection, being the only person who can love and understand you the way you need, etc - i watched evangelion way too young if you couldnt guess.

anyway and this is due to the fact that a core part of my identity and personality revolves around the fact that i considered myself unlovable for the majority of my life, first unconsciously through childhood neglect, then by choice as some "you cant fire me i quit" teen angst sort of thing, then by a doomed sense of resignation all through college. its a significant part of how i see myself even now after years of working to unlearn it - ive managed to dial it back to "im difficult to love" which still isnt great but yknow. better than it was

which is why i have attachment issues and preferred one night stands for a long time. my romantic relationships (many of them short lived) have been with well meaning partners who assured me constantly that like, even though youre difficult to love its worth it. and that was all nice and good but it made me feel so fraudulent and disgusted with myself because it put me in the position of thinking either 1) this person doesnt actually know me that well at all or 2) i have somehow tricked this person into thinking under all the baggage theres someone worth loving. which is something i find difficult to reconcile with because the baggage is me too. i cant get rid of it. inevitably those people got wise and it ended up not working out.

by now have all these arguments and strategies geared up to explain to people who make the mistake of caring about me that its really not worth the effort, we're better off as friends or acquaintances, etc. im very transparent about the issues i deal with so its all just laid out there from the beginning and im not like, tricking people into being in a relationship with me or whatever by hiding it. ive talked in circles with exes over and over along the general lines of "im difficult to love" > "no youre not" > "i have xyz wrong with me and i push people away, trust me you dont want to deal with this" > "okay well we can work on that, and youll get better and itll be worth it" > "what if i never get better" > "you will, ill help you" > [me relenting bc im unable to dash their hopes and dreams that even if i Get Better im still Me at the core and the things that make me difficult to love are a permanent part of me]

the relationship im in now doesnt even let me get into that. shan is just like, youre not. youre not difficult to love, youre actually very easy to love and it has always been easy to love you, even before we were dating. and i dont have a comeback for that.

even with my usual strategy of "heres an itemized list of all the reasons dating me is a risk" theyre just like well sure, thats difficult for you to deal with, and im sorry its so hard for you, but that doesnt make you difficult to love. the loving is easy. that part has always been easy.

she doesnt treat me like a problem that needs to be solved she doesnt try to be my savior from myself she doesnt give any indication that shes just waiting it out until i reach a certain threshold of acceptable or unacceptable. she just loves me and trusts me to take care of myself, and it places a lot of personal responsibility on me to be better - not for us but for me, because im the only person who can do that and they know it.

its the healthiest relationship ive ever been in and ive never felt so safe and free to be myself. i dont need to live up to any expectations to eventually make myself lovable. im easy to love. hard thing for me to believe in self practice but going back to the inherent disconnect between all humans, who am i to know or control what they consider easy or difficult? i dont judge her when something she finds difficult is easy for me, so why wouldn't the opposite be true?

#started thinking about this first thing in the morning for some reason #i think because im moving again and its making me think of the last time i moved #out of the house i shared with my ex #something about grief being cyclical idk #pin talks #im doing a lot of posting and not a lot of packing. lol

[thepixeldemon]

About HTF:

It’s like you read my mind, I decided from a young age that I will never have kids, I don’t like them and bcs of personal reason I’ll probably be a bad parent. AND IT’S SO FREAKING HARD TO FIND A PARTNER WHO ALSO WANTS THE SAME AS I DO. Like I swear whenever I met a guy they always drop the “I want X kids” bomb 🥲 I’m very close to my 30’s and sometimes I’m scared of ending like alone, but I don’t want to give in and be very miserable bcs having kids was never something that I wanted for my life??

Sigh… anywayssss it’s nice to finally read a fic where the MC want the same as I do, and also have the same fears. Idk, I don’t feel so alone in this

I totally understand it :c, that's why I decided to publish it, because I know that there are many people feeling that, and although it is difficult to find someone who understands it and shares that same decision, don't worry, I'm sure that soon you will find someone to be with happy without worrying about those things, stay strong and never change what you want, since what matters is your happiness 💕

#childfree #child free #bakugou comfort #bakugo x reader

[illuminatingnun]

22. 6 2022

A big catch-up post under the cut. First picture is from our capitals main train station (which is shit-ugly expect for this); forest at the border form when a tree fell onto the rails and we were stuck for almost two hours; a bumblebee at dad's plant at home; sourdough foccacia I made earlier this week; and a little reading session in our garden.

Currently reading: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel - The Alchemist (i.e. book 1) by Michael Scott

Today I am grateful for pleasant coworkers.

Day One: A brief introduction of yourself! Where are you at in life at the start of this challenge? How are you feeling? Are you happy with the way your life is right now? What do you hope to gain from this challenge? They say that starting is the hardest part. Do you find starting this challenge difficult?

Hi! I'm Reshi and I study spanish language and literature. And the start of this challenge I was freshly done with exams and happy to just take things easy and rest a bit. I was, and am, feeling happy and content, overall. I'm pretty content about my life right now - I can study, I can work and do things that I enjoy. Everyone I love is healthy and doing well, so what else can I ask for? While I didn't find starting this hard, I did put it off for a week because I either didn't have the time, content or was simply taking a break from social media.

Day Two: It's pride month! How do you indentify, gender-wise and sexuality-wise, if you're comfortable sharing? Do you do anything for pride?

For me personally, sexuality is very fluid and should only matter to those it directly includes (i.e. partner/s). But I do indentify as bisexual/asexual. For me personally the line between these two is very thin and I use it as a jumping rope. When it comes to gender, I'm a gal I guess? It doesn't matter to me all that much. I wanted to take part of the pride in the city I live in, but couldn't bc of work, so now I just wait and will go to pride to the capital, to visit my friends ❤️

Day Three: Do you have any tips for people sending professional emails or communicating with professors or teachers online? Do you prefer sending emails to people or taking with them in person?

Write down whether they use the formal form or informal - we have a teacher that demands formal way of speaking if we write in Czech, but informal if we use Spanish. Also, double check if you're using the correct title, some of them can be really pedantic about them (shout out to Denis for never using one and texting me like we're friends). Don't be afraid, they are only people. Try to be easy to understand and straight to the point. Write which class you're from, they teach hundreds of students. I think it really depens on who the teacher/professor in question is - some I prefer to write bc I know later I can review that email like a note, but other I prefer to talk to, because they tend to be more understanding that way.

Day Four: List five thing that make you happy.

1. That everyone I love is healthy and happy.

2. Our cats and kittens.

3. Medieval reenactment.

4. Black tea.

5. A good book.

Day Five: Who is your all-time favourite teacher or professor and why?

Hm. From elementary it would be our geography teacher - young, rebellious, fruity, I had a crush on her at that time but also she was a great teacher. From high school it was my spanish lit teacher, also young, rebellious, fruity, had a crush on her. There is a theme as you may see. But in all honesty, I had many great teachers and I still do, but that would be for a whole essay.

Day Six: What have been some things that have changed for you this month? Are they big things, little things? How do you feel about these changes? How do you feel about change in general?

Yes! I have achieved one of my dreams, as in, Dream. I will also be moving out, changing apartments and I can't wait - I love the people I will live with (again, we lived together for some time). I've met my new roommate and he's great! I hope we'll be friends. So far I feel good about these changes - happy even, but that's because I made them, had the time to adjust and had at least some kind of power over them. Otherwise I hate unexpected change to my core.

Day Seven: Share your to-do list for today! Do you often make to-do lists? Do you find they help you?

- work✓

- drug store shopping ✓

- send email✓

I make them every time I need them - sometimes every day, sometimes once a week. I do find them helpful, they make it easier to organise my day/week, if I can see the tasks on paper. They also make sure that I won't forget anything, even if I can't to it that day and have to postpone - it's there, written down and waiting, not forgotten.

#illuminatingnun #kávičkovanie #a bit of a photo dump #tranquilsummerbuddies

[soulrph]

Hi Blue! I was wondering, do you by chance have any thoughts on meme accessibility? More specifically, I'm talking about the format of memes being accessible to people who possibly struggle to read certain formatting or that kind of thing. For example, I find that your meme lists are VERY accessible, but I find so many of these meme/resource/rph blogs are not (they use multiple spaces between words that make it harder to read, use too many fancy fonts that are difficult to read and don't show up on screenreaders, etc). What are your thoughts/feeling on memes being inaccessible in this way, and how have you had to adjust your meme formatting to ensure you've got accessibility for your own memes (whether here or on soulprompts)?

i have some thoughts, my light! although, fair warning, my thoughts are actually fairly ?? like, middle-of-the-field, i think? so i'll list a few of them here, and you'll understand what i mean by that in a moment!

accessibility is, in my opinion, a unique thing to each person. so, a while ago i tried to use the blue font on my posts for this blog, bc my name is blue, the colour theme for this blog is blue, it just felt like a very cute idea, and at the time i was using the dark tumblr background, so it stood out very clearly! all was well! all was happy! but then i got a new laptop two days later, and the default is the blue and white background for tumblr, right? so i was looking at the posts and it dawned on me that the light blue font is actually pretty difficult to see on the default screen, and i made a post asking if people would be happier for me to just not use the light blue font anymore, and one person said yes, so i just keep using black font now! mainly because the light blue is more of a pretty aesthetic thing; the black on white contrast is clearer for everyone, and if people need to lower the contrast, their personal computer settings would more than likely accommodate that!

however, the reason i think accessibility is more of a personally unique and tailored thing is because of a recent debate surrounding spacing in a formatted post. now, me, personally? i can read and follow just about any format there is. purple prose is an exception to the rule, and only because i feel like i have to sit down and translate it WHILE forming a reply to the thread, you know? but single spacing, double spacing, triple, etc? it doesn't bother me. i'm very fortunate that way, but i digress!

i have some friends who need single spacing in their responses, and i have others who require the additional spaces to separate the words more distinctly. something that's been more present on rules pages lately is that many people are happy to accommodate the personal preferences and needs of their writing partners; likewise, many people are very aware that we're all only human, we will forget things, we will make mistakes in our formatting, and steps are generally being taken to ensure that we, as a community, are hospitable enough to allow people to speak up and say "actually i can't read the double spacing very well" or "would you mind making the font just regular from now on?" and we'll be able to communicate these things more clearly and comfortably!

i feel like i'm rambling and not answering the question, so i'm gonna make the rest of my points shorter and more concise!

many of the meme blogs which i frequently rely on are run by compassionate and lovely people who happily change their formatting to suit their followers. this is a stark change from 5+ years ago, when these requests could have been responded to with indignant tones of "well why don't you use a different blog?" or "it's not MY responsibility to make YOUR experience a good one". i have a frighteningly but wonderfully large number of followers on this blog, and i actually consider it a privilege when people make these requests, because it tells me that i'm doing something right that people are comfortable enough to ask me these things!

as for how i format things on my blogs, i admit that i do use the fancy fonts for the titles of the memes (although i'm very VERY happy to change that to a regular font if it's something ye want!) and as far as spacing is concerned, i like to leave a few spaces for the action prompts, but it's always single spacing after that! so like:

[ ANSWER ]: receiver answers the lovely sender's question.

and that's only because i think it's a little easier to read, but again, i'm happy to change that if people want me to!

i hope this answered your question my angel! thank you for asking! if you want more input on this, @leneemusing has several very informative and insightful posts made on the subject of accessibility in the rpc!

#ooc. #psa. #not rp related #cinnanon roll. #( thank you my angel! )

[aelaer]

Thanks for answering that last ask, lol. I half-expected you were going to ignore it tbh. I was hesitating when I wanted to send the ask, bcs, well, duh. It's controversial af lol. Just wanted to let ya know that you're not the only one with that view. (Great minds alike, am I right?) So please don't stop. Really.

This is gonna be a bit of a rant, and if you feel the need not to answer this ask, due to the fear of causing controversy in your blog, I 100% understand. Dunno if tumblr will cut off my ask so i'm hoping this is sent in its full-form.

I honestly agree that Tony gets maybe a *bit* too much spotlight (especially after the CACW shit and fans picking team tony/steve), and I hate that Stephen is just used as a plot device. I don't get why exaggerating a char's innocence is a good thing. Especially if they put other characters *too* antagonised and spiteful. It's petty. And putting another character in it (refer this as Stephen) as a plot device to make the main char more angelic is just.... idk. I'm only using rather insensitive words bcs I'm on anon ngl hahahahah.

Which is why, when I found your ao3 profile, I felt like you saved my life. Cus like. Idk. It's rare to find fics alike. Not really good with words so yeah.

Also thanks sm for tagging your fics properly, lest I wouldn't have found your works.

Ik some authors who share the same idea with the matter, but either they wanted to reach a wider fanbase by venturing into ships and fulfilling people's cravings (that require an ooc stephen, wince), or they simply don't have the writing capabilities to match their intentions -- like you do -- yet, I'm not so sure.

So basically yeah. Binge read your works this week. You're doing super great. Please keep going or else I would've probably never been here in the first place.

Fucking love your works. Don't hate on me for this if you happen to find it irrational ;-; Though if you do, I'm honestly interested with what you think. Sorry for sending a long ass ask.

Hey it's all chill, my anon friend. I really try not to hate on folks, even when I don't agree with everything they say or do. The world needs more empathy after all. And you've done nothing wrong in this ask here.

I personally don't ignore asks. It may take a month or two to get to some as it has in the past during busy or bad seasons, but I get to them. (I also don't get a ton so they're easy to answer haha.) The only ones not answered are short fic prompts that have taken me over 2 years to get to, which I'd like to finish eventually... some day.

I expanded on the topic about other characters in the last ask so I won't get into it again here, but I will say that unfortunately Stephen is not a terribly popular character compared to many other MCU characters like Tony, Bucky, and Loki. It makes finding fic starring him very challenging. He's also a difficult character to write well, though I applaud folks for trying, truly. It's great when people challenge themselves and don't let the fear of failure or judgement keep them from trying.

Anyone who hasn't written Stephen because they're not sure how to write him, or have written him but aren't confident with their writing of him, I recommend rewatching his origin film in particular as that's often forgotten for what we saw in IW and Endgame. There's also some good video essays about the character on YouTube. Some fanfic of him is good, while others are very bad, so it's a hit or miss there. One shot character pieces that are not concentrating on a ship tend to be more reliable, in my experience, for a better character analysis because the goal of the piece as a one shot is more a character study, and without the romance you aren't looking at the character as part of a unit. You need to know the character before you study how he works as a romantic partner, IMO.

I'm hoping his film helps his popularity, but I do have some fears that it will be drowned out a bit by Wanda. We'll have to see what happens on AO3 in particular, which is where my primary fandom interest lies in this case. I really, really want to see fic that isn't just reader inserts. Totally legit fanfic, but romance is already not my cup of tea and, if they aren't just smut pieces, those tend to be caretaker-Stephen fics which are a dime a dozen with his fics with Tony and Peter. So yeah, hopefully there will be more variety in the coming weeks. Of the action/adventure/drama type. A girl can dream.

I'm thrilled you like my writing. And also my tagging, some of the tagging is very hard to complete with some of the one shots xD but seriously, you're sweet. And you're good. Don't sweat it ❤️

#stephen strange #mcu #ask #answered #anonymous #writing advice #fanfic

[thedreadvampy]

idk man sometimes I'm just so so so so angry that I was so consistently treated as a sexual object as a teenager (by people my own age and by adult men) and so consistently judged in terms of my looks and performed sexual availability and now that's affected. everything. about how I see myself and how I expect to be seen. and I find it so difficult to believe or understand that people might like me as a human person. or that it's possible for people to find me attractive AND unrelatedly like me for my personality or ways of thinking or interests and not just. like me instrumentally.

like sometimes my partners or my friends will compliment my looks or something I do for them and even though I KNOW VERY WELL that they like ME the HUMAN PERSON for NON-INSTRUMENTAL REASONS there's always a little gremlin in my brain that's like see? this is the reason they like you. because you are sexually appealing or because you're useful. those are the valuable things.

like lately my partners have been very effusive about my looks. and they are correct I am extremely hot and pretty and cool. I also feel p good about how I look lately. it's just weird that my brain is like ah. you are pretty. solved the mystery. that means that's the only reason people like you.

no brain that's stupid. that's not what that means. it's not an either/or situation a person can be attractive AND useful AND likeable for many other entirely unrelated reasons. the fact that my partner likes that I look great in fishnets doesn't. undermine or counter the fact that they like that I make stupid jokes about Tim Curry and give impassioned monologues about art criticism. the fact that my friend appreciates that I make time to check in on them when they're ill doesn't mean they don't like me for my extended Roger Hallam bits. I don't know why my brain thinks I have to pick a singular reason. I like other people for a billion different reasons. but I can only conceptualise myself as a one dimensional character in other people's lives and I resent that a bunch. fuck you, people who made me feel that way. fuck you for making me feel like a prop in someone's misogynistic-ass understanding of themself. fuck you for spending like a decade of my life encouraging me to think the only way someone could find me attractive or valuable was by ignoring every part of me that wasn't about them. it is taking SO MUCH WORK to let people love me properly and to not feel terrified of people I care about finding me beautiful or attractive or useful because that would mean I'd have to be ONLY those things for them to love me. that's just not true.

idk I can't sleep and my therapist is sick this week so my brain is whirring. but twice this week my partners have made a comment about finding me sexy and I've caught myself reacting by trying to shut down every other part of myself. because if they find me sexy it MUST mean that all they want from me is Be Sexy. and that's not just untrue it's also wildly unfair on them, people who I KNOW aren't that shallow and are interested in me as a messy weirdo who is their friend as well as a Sexy Lady. like they don't want me to shut down all the Insufficiently Sexy Personality Traits! they did not ask for that! I think my partners are beautiful and sexy and I ALSO think they're fun and weird and interesting and complicated and emotionally important and those things. aren't in conflict with each other AT ALL. so I genuinely don't know why my brain thinks they can't possibly coexist when it comes to me.

but on some level it's like. somebody acknowledges that they find me sexy or useful and the paranoid bit of me is like AHA. I KNEW IT. THAT'S WHAT THIS WAS ALWAYS ABOUT THE REST IS LIES.

bc tbh when I was like. 14-20 let's be honest that was the case the majority of the time. like my experience is that people will pretend to be your friend for months or years and then turn around and pull the ACTUALLY I HAVE CONCEPTUALISED YOU AS MY DREAM GIRLFRIEND shit and if you refuse to be sexually available or useful then the friendship. was never real. and that's been so much the majority of my friendships and relationships through very formative years and now it's just SCARY like if someone expresses that type of attraction I'm like AHA THE MASK IS OFF THE TRUE MOTIVES REVEALED.

even though I know. I KNOW. that this isn't true and I have real friendships and real relationships now.

(also btw you know the most frustrating part is like. I'm not even that hot. like I'm for sure a smokeshow for a very specific set of tastes (gay) and I'm p confident about how I look like. big titties pretty face great skin cool aesthetic. solid 8. but I'm not exactly startlingly oh my god how are you real beautiful. I'm normal person pretty. and yet somehow. for like a solid decade of my life it feels like 90% of relationships I had were built around my looks and value as a sexual object. that's lame as fuck that's not even top 10 in Things That Are Cool About Me I don't think. but when very explicitly the things that were valued about you in your formative years were sex appeal and capacity for emotional load bearing it's really hard. To genuinely actually believe the other stuff matters or is anything other than something people tolerate to get to the good stuff (sexy big titty goth gf who will let you unload your feelings on her and be your 3am shoulder to cry on))

the point is its very bad for your long term self esteem or ability to accept extremely good and normal compliments (like 'i, the person you're fucking, find you beautiful and attractive and like having sex with you') to be a manic pixie dream girl for all of your formative years. don't let them do it to you 😘

#red said #ohhhhhhhhh it's a 3am trauma dump time to sing the 3am trauma song!!!!!! #hey uhhhh sam i know you read my blog sometimes probably don't. read this. ty.