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#its not Really my problem but i Do feel bad for him LOL. like i dont even know how to broach the subject
ellecdc · 2 days
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Poly moonwater or marauders (up to you! I can see both being cute, though marauders would be interesting since theyre all gryffindors) x a partner who thinks snakes are the cutest, and has a really big python of her own? And she often takes it on “walks” (walking outside while the snake is lounging on her arms to get some sun) or chills in her room with the snake just resting on or beneath her robes (calmer snakes in my experience love to slither up sleeves and wrap around abdomens and collars)? My snake loves doing that, and sometimes it gives people a fright haha. My snake is quite large, but just the cutest and most curious thing, she’s helped many of my friends get over a minor phobia before. She also contracts her muscles (not enough to hurt) when wrapped around a hand, which feels like a little hug. LOL sorry for rambling, I love my sweet baby (5 foot long apex predator) so much. Bonus points if reader is very sweet and smiley, just the last person you’d expect to have a big “scary” snake.
this was such a cute and funny request. and, funnily enough, almost immediately after I received it I started seeing this creator with her snake on TikTok and was like "this is perfect!!!"
poly!marauders x whimsical!reader who apparently has a pet snake that her boyfriends didn't know about
CW: fem!reader, reader has hair she can put up in a bun, best friend Barty being a fucking menace, snakes?
Remus let out a breath of relief when he finally made out your form sitting contently under a tree on the castle grounds with your face shoved in a book.
He couldn’t help but worry about you a little bit; he worried about James and Sirius too, mind you, but something about you struck him as a little too pure, a little too lovely to be navigating this scary world on your own.
He knew you could, he just didn’t think you should have to.
It appeared Sirius and James were just as grateful at locating you when Sirius took off in a run to join your little makeshift picnic.
Remus almost felt bad for the interruption of what was likely a very peaceful sanctuary you had built for yourself. But knowing you, you’d be just as happy to have them join you.
Your smile at Sirius’ form as he made it to your blanket let Remus know he was quite right in his prediction.
“Hi Siri!” You greeted tranquilly, causing James to let out a small breath of awe as he all but dragged Remus the rest of the way over to you. 
“Hey Angel!” James called to you as Remus offered you an apologetic smile turned grimace. 
“Do you mind if we join you?” Remus had the grace to ask.
“Of course not; I’d love it if you did.” You responded quickly, shifting over to make room for them all on your blanket.
“Of course you’d be so gracious; our sweet girl.” Sirius cooed at you, but as he went to pull you towards him by your shoulders, he let out an embarrassing shriek as he launched himself away from you. 
“Godric’s saggy balls, Pads; what is the problem?” James asked bemusedly as he took over Sirius’ now vacated spot beside you.
“She’s got a sodding snake in her hair!” Sirius screeched as he pointed at you.
James’ head whipped back towards you to see that, sure enough, there was a medium sized snake seemingly almost curled up in your messy bun.
“Don’t move, Angel.” James said seriously as he stood carefully and brandished his wand. “I’ll get it off of you.”
“Oh, there’s no need, James. She’s very docile.” You said simply as if you hadn’t just scared the living daylights out of your boyfriends.
“Docile!?” Sirius bellowed at the same time as James questioned “she?” 
Remus smirked at his boyfriends’ theatrics, though felt momentarily ashamed he hadn’t realised you owned a snake, or…had a snake friend.
“Is she your pet, dove?” He asked finally, fighting the urge to grimace as the snake curled further around your bun and moved its head to sit at your temple. 
“Yes; her name is Tinkerbell.”
“Tinkerbell?!” James and Sirius chorused.
Remus chuckled at the boys letting their Pureblood show. “Like the fairy from Peter Pan?”
He was rewarded with a pleased smile as you moved your eyes back towards him. “Exactly.”
“How long have you been living with a snake?” Sirius asked severely, causing Remus to nudge him with his knee warningly.
“Barty got her for me for my birthday.” You responded simply.
“You’ve had that thing for months?” James asked, finally earning a swat from Remus.
“She’s not a thing, Jamie.” You gently chided, offering the snake your finger who wrapped her head around it reminding Remus of a cat rubbing up against their owner's leg. “I’m surprised you haven’t seen her before; she’s almost always with me.”
Sirius just let out another horrified squawk as Remus fought the urge to let out a full body shiver.
“You carry… Tinkerbell around with you often?” He queried carefully.
You hummed in acknowledgement as your hand fell back to your book. “She usually wraps around my elbow under my robes, but lately she’s enjoyed nesting in my hair. I think maybe now that it’s getting warmer, she likes to sit in the sun.”
“We really need to talk to Junior about gifting our Angel with dangerous animals.” James muttered quietly to Remus and Sirius as your attention turned towards the devil your best friend himself.
“Hi Treasure! Hi Tink!” Barty called you you; his voice raising an octave when greeting your reptilian friend.
Remus winced when he noticed a slightly larger snake hung casually over Juniors shoulders that seemed to be considering the group as they approached.
“Introducing your sweet girl to the boys?” He asked as he sat beside you on the blanket; speaking about your three boyfriends as if they weren’t there.
“Yes. I don’t think it’s gone particularly well, admittedly.” You responded serenely, reaching out to gently boop Barty’s snake’s nose with your finger. 
“It’s going fine.” Sirius argued; never willing to show signs of weakness in front of a Slytherin. 
Unfortunately for Sirius, Barty seemed to call his bluff. “You’re not afraid of a little old snake, are you Black?”
Sirius scoffed derisively. “I go to school with enough of them, don’t I?”
“Okay, why don’t you pet Mr. Smee here then?” Barty taunted, holding out his large reptilian friend to Sirius. “He won’t bite.” He promised with a Cheshire cat smile.
Sirius looked at Barty sceptically before his eyes nervously darted towards you. 
“Mr. Smee is very friendly, Siri.” You encouraged.
Sirius tried to smile at you before he returned his stormy eyes to Barty. “I don’t make it a habit of petting slimy animals, Junior.”
Barty scoffed as he rolled his eyes. “He’s not slimy, Black; he’s scaley.”
Seemingly pacified, Sirius reached out a cautious hand towards Mr. Smee.
Sirius made a garbled heaving sound as he slowly pulled his hand away from the snake's body where strings of slime connected his fingers to the reptile.
“He is slimy!”
“That’s because I soaked him in slime!” Barty cackled. “You’re so easy, Black. Gods, I should spend more time with the lot of you; this was fun.”
And with that, Barty stood from the blanket, kissed Tinkerbell on the head and then pressed one to your head as well before he skipped off.
“He’s a real menace.” James grumbled as Sirius transfigured a piece of paper into a paper towel and wiped at the slime on his fingers.
“I thought that was very brave of you, Sirius.” You praised him, and almost all of the contempt colouring Sirius’ face faded away as he looked at you lovingly.
“Thanks dolly.”
Thankfully, Tinkerbell remained content in your hair, and the boys remained content pretending there wasn’t a snake on their girlfriend’s head for the rest of the afternoon.
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your-ne1ghbor · 2 days
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My problems with Magnifico and Amaya and how I would rewrite them (TKoRaT AU)
GOD DAMN IT NOW I WISH MAGNIFICO AND AMAYA IN MY VERSION WERE GOOD PEOPLE AHHHHHHHHH-
Ahem..sorry..what was I gonna say?
Oh yea! Feeling like a long rant again, so prepare your eyes!!!💀
Sooo, I kinda have been off putting stuff again since I had school work and a bunch of ideas like this one, so I decided to just share it so I don't loose the idea (ik I can write it down but idk I felt like sharing it). Plus the fact that I've been more chatty lately lol.
Idk how to transition to my problems with Amaya and Magnifico so here.
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Magnifico and Amaya's Character in Wish 2023
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Magnifico
Magnifico in the film is...well is a pretty stand up guy! Sure, he is paranoid most of the time and is pretty stubborn, but he is very selfless and a really generous person!
You can say he is more in line with the kings of original films that deeply care for their children, such as King Sefan from Sleeping Beauty, or King Frederic from Tangled.
In this case, he deeply cares for the people of Rosas. I mean yeah, it is weird that you forget what your goal is in life, but if I had nowhere to go and no roof over my head, of course I would go to Rosas to live there safely. Heck, in perspective, you have a chance of your wish getting granted, and don't have to pay rent to live there. It is a pretty fair deal, especially for families who want their kids to grow up out of harms way. Sure, he can't grant all of the wishes, but his reasoning is pretty valid. The only line I could get from the film that would support this would be when he commented on Asha's Grandfather's Wish (which is to inspire the next generation):
"To create what? A rebellious mob perhaps? Inspire them to...to do what? Uh, destroy Rosas, maybe?"
And a lot of people can argue that Saba's wish is very simple or isn't dangerous, but here is the thing. Simple things can have dangerous concequences no matter how small or big they are. Sure, you can start out small, like inspiring people, but it will cause a domino effect that can lead to something greater. Either for the better or worse. And example would actually be Walt Disney himself! He started out small, but without him, animation would not have gotten to where it is today. With his love and passion to art and story telling and taking risks, we WOULD NOT have gotten Puss in Boots, SpiderVerse, OR EVEN ANYTHING ANIMATION WISE. Walt Disney really pioneered animation and without those baby steps, there would not be an Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks, ect. It would just be...well...live action I guess. Hate the Disney company or not, Walt helped get animation to where it is today, and it sucks that his company, even after death, wont try anymore to push the limits of animation except for companies that isn't Disney.
Plus, I don't even blame Magnifico for thinking this way! Although it is sort of annoying that his backstory was told instead of shown (not that there is nothing wrong with telling, but showing for me is a more effective way of story telling for me. You can take the little mermaid for example), I personally understood where he was coming from. In his backstory, his home was destroyed from thieves and barbarians, with his family and possibly everyone he knew being dead. Its honestly tragic, so him making a kingdom for people to not suffer that pain again is very selfless of him and just...feels good in a good way you know?
But as everything in this movie is, it takes the good things and beats it over with a 30 foot pole and leaves it to rot.
He is turned into the villain. And no, it isn't because of Asha not getting what she wanted, and no, it isn't because Amaya, his wife died (she never did btw)! OH NO IT IS MUCH WORSE.
He opens up a mAgIc bOoK oF dArK mAgIc and becomes the bad guy...
...What the fuck. Actually no, applauds to you Disney! This is such a effective way of telling a story. 10/10 forever and ever. Great job! :D
(I am being sarcastic, this is legit the worst way for a good guy becoming the villain, its so fucking stupid-)
He is just simply stripped of his good qualities and only lets his bad qualities shine through. It kind of feels like he was being held at gun point here.
"OH PLEASE BELIEVE THAT I AM ACTUALLY THE BAD GUY. OH PLEASE GOOD CIVILLAIN THEY ARE GOING TO PULL THE TRIGGER-"
Seriously, there was no other way of making him the bad guy? Like legit? Simply remove his backstory and make him evil at the begining. I guess it would be weird if he took the wishes without reasoning, but even then, why give him good qualities when he is supposed to be the bad guy? He became more of a tragic hero than a tragic "bad guy".
I will go more into my problems with him after I talk about Amaya for a bit since talking about her character is more shorter than Magnificos.
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Amaya
The best I can say for her character is that she is like Jimmy Cricket but fell in love with Pinnocio (I know that sounds weird pls spare me).
She is like the voice of reason for Magnifico, and it is best shown when Magnifico FIRST concidered on using the book for "his evil deeds". This scene specifically:
youtube
Other than that, she wasn't really a character in the film AT ALL. It sort of sucks concidering what the original concept was (WE WILL GET TO THAT) and instead degraded her character to...well...nothing.
I can't really say anything about her since she just was "I am loyal to my husband" to "actually fuck you I will believe a 17 year old instead of the man I trusted for the amount of years it took to get the kingdom to it's feet." I want to, but I can't. SHE HAS NOTHING.
I wish I can say more about her character, but it would just be me ranting about how trash her is character and was handled. Speaking of that, lets get into why I dislike how they were handled.
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Why does their character bother me so much?
Well it is sort of hard to explain, but I'll do my best.
Magnifico was supposed to be the return of the classic villains. You know, on the levels of Jafar, Ursala, Evil Queen, Malificant, ECT, he just...wasn't. Although he had a bunch of Evil Queen inspirations thrown into his character, it felt like more of refrences to a better film than being apart of his character. Plus, I feel like I sympathized with him way to much. I personally felt more emotion when he was on screen instead of the main character because I understood where he was coming from. Its honestly baffaling to me, since if he didn't have his backstory told to us, I still would not rooted against him. Even without his backstory, it just sounds like he was doing this at the bottom of his heart and empathizing with people who are doing far worse than what he is going through. Its honestly heartwarming seeing a person trying to do good in the world and provide a safe place for everyone to be free from the burden of this world. And want to know something? None of the classic villains had tragic backstories. They are evil for the sake of being evil. There probably was some with sympathetic traits, but from what I recall, there is none. So going with the sympathetic rout is not on par with classic villains.
However, there is nothing wrong with giving your villains sympathetic traits. It makes them feel more rounded as a person/character, and you can get a lot of emotion from that alone. I just think that Magnifico being the villain doesn't make sense since as I said, they made him so generous and kind in the begnining and only destroyed it since "oh wait, we need a villain, so why not make the good guy the villain" and threw in the dark magic book and called it a day. Not even that, but he is not threatening in any way. What I mean by that, is that his powers don't really get an upgrade at all. His magic just sort of turns green and thats it! I even bet that he can crush wishes even without the powers of the magic book.
Going off topic, but making plushie..COUGH... star...(plusie = wish 2023 star) less "stronger" to make the female lead stronger just makes Magnifico's reason for going after plushie's powers even more useless. Even with plushie's powers, HE IS JUST THE SAME. I guess he can now create vines? BUT IT JUST DOESNT WORK. It makes more sense for Magnifico going after plushie when it is powerful because he could see that power as a THREAT to his own powers and his kingdom.
Now for Amaya, her turning against Magnifico is just stupid. Haven't you went through a lot with him? Why the hell did you give up after "oh he can't be saved"? I feel like she could have done a "true loves kiss" sennario which breaks the spell it has on him. Not only that, she barely contributes to the plot at all. The only thing she contributes to the plot is just "getting the teens into the castle so they can free the wishes" then disappears, then reappears at the finally when Magnifico got a little too silly with his drugs-I MEAN wishes haha... Then she becomes the ruler of Rosas. It feels weird and out of place, especially concidering her character MOST LIKELY went through so much with Magnifico only to turn on him when he gets a little mad. It is so stupid. Also, if you just remove her, nothing would really change except the first scene where Magnifico has the book, only this time, no one is there to stop him. And as I said, HER CHARACTER IS NOTHING. But here is the thing...
When concidering the concept version of Amaya, she would have been the villain along side Magnifico. Not as a selfish love relationship or they are together at ones expense (gaining something from one another for only themselves) no, THEY WERE MADLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER. Something to note here is that there is barely ANY villain couple or ANY VILLAINS who are like this, let alone love each other for the sake of it instead of a "selfish love relationship and then one gets redeemed " situation (im looking at the mayor of paris from miraculous ladybug). So that, THAT RIGHT THERE, would have been a brilliant idea and brings something new and fresh to the table. Not only that, it is so brilliant that it would have respected all of the male/female antagonists we had for the past 100 years with the company. It is also A RISK. Walt was all about taking risks, even when his company would have floundered at the expense of making art. Snow White for example had a lot of money put into it that if it failed, well Disney would not exist in this timeline so to speak. So taking that risk is also RESPECTING Walt's legacy in a really good way.
I personally just see this as a fun way to explore their characters, especially when you can reflect their characters off of our main characters, Asha and Star (boy), if you want to of course. I can imagine Magnifico kinda be like Gaston from beauty and the beast with some Frollo flare to it (not the lust thing tho but yk what I'm getting at) and Amaya can be like Ursala or Gothal. Plus, it works as a power balance. In the original concept, Amaya was the potion maker while Magnifico does all of the magic. Its honestly a fun way to play with power set ups. Magnifico can just be for show and Amaya can just be a drug dealer (or basically Ursala).
But NOPE. WE HAD TO SHIT ON WALTS LEGACY TO GET THOSE SHINY DOLLAR SIGNS $$$$$$$$$$$$$
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Here is the thing: I can get over Star Boy not being in the film, like I get it. We gotta have that girl power in Disney movies now, and they have to be emotionless people. But a Disney power couple? WHAT THE HELL??? LEGIT THE BEST IDEA YOU HAVE EVER HAD IN 100 YEARS. AND YOU GOT RID OF IT BECAUSE WE CAN'T TAKE RISKS ANYMORE??? BUT WALT WOULD HAVE TAKEN IT. YOU WANT TO RESPECT HIS LEGACY? THEN TAKE THE RISK TO DO SO YOU SELFISH, INSUFFERABLE, PIECES OF SHI-
(This section was removed because I went a little crazy there. Sorry about that. I'm not sure how I can transition into the rewrite section, again, soooooo here:)
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How I would rewrite the characters
There is no wrong or right way of rewriting a character, especially when a lot of people interpret them in different ways, and that is completely fine!
This will also fall into somewhat Asha's character and she will be mentioned to fit what I am going for with the characters. I will also leave out what they both do to the wishes since I am making a whole reimagined scene and it is going to include what they do to the wishes there. It will leave out some stuff I had with it here, but I will do my best interpritation of the characters the best I can, even when I can't really say much about it :)
Magnifico:
🌟 For starters, right off the bat, he does not have any of that sort of backstory they gave him for the original. For what I am going for, his backstory will not fit his reasonings for what I am going for, especially for his character.
🌟 He is more on par with the original personality from the original storyboard, specifically this one:
youtube
(This also goes for Amaya too personality wise)
🌟 Something that is very different from a lot of villains is that he has sympathetic traits. Although he has more negative traits than positive, he has more of a caring side. Mainly to Amaya, but Asha as well. When Amaya found Asha at their door steps (they aren't holding me hostage as I write out this specific part guys, I swear) at first he saw her as an opportunity to boost his and his wife's popularity that would have other people come more to their kingdom (its more of like they are seeing their "generosity" side and dismiss the problems the kingdom has). But as she continued to live with her adoptive parents, Magnifico became pretty close to Asha. Its mainly because of her passion to what she strives to be, to be like him. Probably feeding into his ego, but you know, nice to know he cares.
🌟 Just because he treats Amaya and Asha well, doesn't mean that the kingdom gets that same treatment. He doesn't care about the people at all. He actually has enjoyment when he hurts or breaks people's dreams. He gets all excited about it and you guys can ask him why he finds enjoyment out of it cause idk it would be more fun that way and gives you guys the chance to interact with him :D
🌟 The wishes boost his powers temporarily. It fades away after either a few days or hours. When his powers are boosted, he has more control over the people. And, to who he consumes the wishes of, can see through their perspective for a little while. It also makes civilians more compliment with him and not question his authority. This does not work with people who have not given up their wishes though. Only to people who have already given up their wishes. He can also make people forget certain memories (that might be Amaya's thing though but I'm not too sure) and can put on much more longer "light shows" (think on the level of: Playing with the Big Boys, but more flashy and crazier). He can also manipulate his surroundings with images, but not at a physical level. (Like hallucinations so to speak)
🌟 His powers without the wishes are more of what he uses to do simple things or put on small light shows. Not as flashy than ones when he has his powers boosted, but he puts on the smaller ones to "gain more people to comply when they have to give up their wishes", one might say, inspire them to do so. He also uses it to help Asha practice with magic (She can't even do magic STFU I KNOW.) It also can be used to take desires that you have deep in your heart.
🌟 If hair jell were to exist in his time period, he would eat it with no regrets (Amaya would make it so he can eat it without getting hurt)🔥
🌟 When he consumes a stars powers, he legit goes insane and can shape shift like one, but more corrupt with no consistancy to what he turns into since he legit gone insane. With a star, a star can shapeshift to whatever it wants or to express it's emotions. With him, it is all over the place. He can't control it.
🌟 Like Frollo, he tortures anyone who is against him, and will not hesitate to take it to the extreme if needed too (or that he wants to, to please himself).
🌟 What his wife says or does, he will willingly go through with it. After all, he loves her with all his heart.
🌟 He can't let Asha out of the castle often to make sure that the people will not take advantage of her generosity (thats what he thinks though, in reality everyone is just scared of the royals.. most of them at least) or learn-
Magnifico then breaks the forth dimention and destroys my house.
Ah...right...
🌟 He is such a silly goober!!1!11!1!11!1 o(* ̄▽ ̄*)o
(He told me to write that or else he will kill my dog and cat. HELP ME PLEASE-)
Amaya
🌟 For starters, she is much more involved in the story than she is in the original. She doesn't have a backstory like what Magnifico had in the original, nor does she need too. Not sure how they would meet at the moment, but I'd like to think that they met and then were like: love at first sight and became more silly as time went on...including their insanity <3
🌟 As I said for Magnifico, she is more on par with the concept version personality wise. But she is more of an Ursala and likes to put herself as the victim to get more people to feel bad for her (MANIPULATION AT ITS FINEST 😜)
🌟 Just like Magnifico, she has sympathetic traits. And she only has it, because of our main character Asha! She just found her one day at the castle doors. She didn't understand why, but like Magnifico, only let her stay for as long as she did to post her popularity with the commoners, and grew closer to her as she became more of a mother figure to Asha. (Ruh Ro, anyone sensing Mother Gothal vibes?) Unlike Magnifico though, she uses her sympathetic traits to get people to comply with their ways better. Her main trait she is good at looking at the person's situation and understand it well, or aka being empathetic. She uses that to her advantage when manipulating them to do whatever she pleases.
🌟 She is more of a witch than anything. I imagine her somewhat like Ursala (yes a heavy load of Ursala), Evil Queen, and Yzma (Emperor's New Groove) when in terms to what they make. She does make a lot of poisons to use if anyone is getting a little too close to the close and they gotta...TAKE THEM OUT without anyone knowing. She can also use it for like a form of medicine too.
🌟 Some potions, like turning people into animals or certain poisons, requires people's desire. More so with turning people into animals as a form of punishment. She can also use her craft at potion making to have her wield magic for a certain amount of time WHEN NEEDED. (Gee I wonder what she will use that for). It can also be used like a drug, or to get someone to comply with what they want a little better than Magnifico. She can put on pretty shows too, but more smoke themed and is better at manipulating her surroundings.
🌟 Although Amaya would teach Asha how to make potions, she worries that the people of Rosas would take advantage of her kindness and use the skills that she would teach Asha to their advantage and form a revolt to take them down. (Which really, with them ruling, who can blame them?)
🌟 I would say she is more of a planner than Magnifico. She plans ahead and makes sure everything is in line with what they want and makes plan Bs or Cs even Ds in case anything would go wrong. Asha actually gained that trait from her believe it or not!
🌟 Magnifico is more reckless than his wife. Amaya is more so less confronting and tries to keep up their image. She actually have certain gestures that Magnifico would take notice too. And since he trusts her a lot, he complies and lets Amaya take lead in certain situations.
🌟 Yes...she also finds enjoyment of seeing people getting tortured. They actually made up a game on how they would torture a certain civilian 💀
🌟 When it comes to how she treats the people of Rosas, she is as I said, less confronting and puts on more of a fake smile and gaslights everyone that their kingdom is fine or whatever (It is not gaslighting when it is telling the truth. I feel so offended right know! DUDE LADY CHILL I AM CREATING YOU RN AND YOU ARE ALREADY TRYING TO GASLIGHT ME WTF😭)
🌟 When she has a star's powers, I feel like it would let her create whatever the fuck she wants at an insanity level. Wishing stars create items that would help users on their journey, so with her, she can use it to her advantage. Also she becomes just as insane as her husband. It also gives a difference in terms to what they would do when they have a star's powers. Magnifico would be able to shapeshift at a corrupt level, and Amaya can manipulate her surroundings that would become reality so to speak at an insane level. I chose this one since it fits her not being more confrontant while Magnifico is more so on that. She be lurking in the shadows like a cat :3
🌟 How she knows so much about the people, is by her cat! I think the cat would be called Custos. Idk the name yet, might go with the concept version of the name.
🌟 I learn more about my prey before I strike at their weakest point. (Nah that's very catnap of you. Unless you want to fall asleep for 100 years, I suggest you choose your words carefully. Bruh alright lady💀) And yes she wrote that in...
🌟 She is such a silly lil guy...AMAYA STOP LET ME BE SILLY U SON OF A BI-😡
Erm anyways...(she tried to eat my dog and steal my cat. GRRRR)
I feel like it would be fun if it is just expanding their empire for their main goal or taking over the world. Kind of like this song as their modivation:
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I want this to be their goal since it kind of feels like some of the old Disney Villains, for me at least :3 (And I am having WAYYYY to much fun with their characters already hehe)
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Final Thoughts
On a final note, I will mention that there is a possibility that all of this wont make it into the final version. And in all honesty, I'm actually shocked I was able to compose all of this together without mentioning what they do with the wishes, like what- 😭
I also am still debating if Amaya and Magnifico made the kingdom or it was passed down through generations. Don't know yet tbh :^
Also, Amaya was sort of difficult for me to jot down since I didn't know how to get her into the story, and I think I am slowly, but surely getting there :D
I also really tried to make it different and fresh from the other versions and I am very excited to show that "I DECIDE WHAT EVERYONE DESERVES" when it is done (it is now We decide what everyone Deserves).
You can also ask both Amaya and Magnifico questions regarding the info you know about them now and about how they feel with the other versions of them if you want to of course (and I can show off their designs HEHHEH)
And yes...I had too much fun with writing out how they would interact with the post. DW, they wont interact here in the Final Thoughts section hehe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I might also do a post on Asha since I have been pretty quiet on her character design/rewrite and another post about Star Boy since I wanna get more in depth with the ideas of Wishing Stars in my AU.
Speaking of Au...
what to call this AU of mine hmmmmm
I'll go with The Kingdom of Roses and Thorns, or TKoRaT. Feels fitting to me, at least for what I am going for story wise and character wise. Might change it since I can't stick with one thing, but rn it rolls off the tongue nicely.
Until then, I hope you have a great day and I hope Magnifico and Amaya don't steal your dreams 💀
@oh-shtars @annymation @chillwildwave @signed-sapphire
(They are thinking of working with your versions of Magnifico and Amaya oh boy not good 💀)
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hecksupremechips · 2 months
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To also go off of the point about cop!akihiko being annoying to me I gotta say that Akihiko as a character is very hit or miss with me because of how different adaptations of p3 will subtly alter his character. I felt like in portable with the femc route he comes off best, he’s a bit of a hothead with an obsession with fighting, but he’s overcompensating his strength so he doesn’t feel as weak and helpless as he’s been in many situations. He defines strength in a very literal sense, being physically strong and using that to protect others, but he’s lacking in emotional strength as a result. And in particular in this version I think he’s portrayed as a bit more goofy and sweet in a sense. He cares deeply for you as a friend and leader but he struggles with finding the words to describe how he feels. Hes kinda naive and gullible and has trouble noticing his surroundings. He has no clue what he’s doing but his heart is in the right place. I think he just comes off much more human and he has flaws, many many flaws, and that makes him all the more lovable
But then in other adaptations and spinoffs it’s like. They look at him through some hetero male bullshit filter and seem to view him as a lot more admirable and cool. Like in p3 dancing, theres literally an event where he’s talking with Junpei and Minato and they’re gushing about how perfect Akihiko is and how he doesn’t seem to have ANY flaws at all. And it becomes clear his inability to flirt with women just gets added as a way to make sure you, the Straight Male Player, don’t get insecure being next to such Perfection because at the end of the day, you’re still more charming and sexy than he will ever be because you’re better. It’s a “flaw” that’s only there to shield a sensitive male ego. And then in arena I mean, come on. He’s overly beefy and is a damn cop and travels the world and loves Protein™️ it’s his whole personality and he’s so clearly meant to be seen as hot but like, he’s just some shitty hetero male fantasy. Hes what the writers deem to be a Perfect Man that every guy wishes he could be, but don’t worry he’s still bad with women so you don’t gotta worry about him stealing your property- I mean, girlfriend!
And though I’ve not played reload and don’t really plan to anytime soon, judging from his social episodes they seem to have a similar problem. Akihiko comes off as a lot less approachable, like the year age gap is just too much of a barrier to get to know him properly. And he doesn’t have that dorky sweetness he has in portable, he’s just that perfect hetero male fantasy guy and don’t you fucking worry- he still has his protein powder with him
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liquidstar · 1 month
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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...
#so i survived my 1st week as a phd student. it's interesting. im not sure how i feel#the negatives are that i forgot how much stress being around people causes me. as a research assistant i was able to be on my own schedule#and go into the lab at odd hours so i never had to see anyone. but now im in classes and teaching and have a shared office#classes are tolerable stress wise so long as im sitting on an edge. i only feel a lil like im dying. teaching makes nauseous beforehand.#which is odd bc im not really worried while im doing it or before im doing it. i thibk its just that i have to interact ans i kno im a#mediocre teacher bc id rather die than do the back and forth of asking questions and u should teach interactively#i like to break down complex idea and help people with problems but i was not build to teach in classrooms. i get knocked off points when#i give class presentations bc i cant make eye contact lol. so that'll b annoying this semester. and its just so hard to function in an#office space. idk its weird like i dont even feel it that much while im there its just like a flashing *i need to leave* alarm. and then#when im alone its like a physical weight off of me. and i cant tell if thats what's draining my energy or if ive just cycled into a low#energy lul bc im just like. i wanna sleep. and for me thats always a sign that somethings wrong. i dont feel that bad mood wise but its#like there's a rock weighing me down as im trying to tread water. so those r the big negatives. the positives r that#i do enjoy being back in school. i love the structure of it. but im also self destructive abt structure so well see how it goes. but my#lab mates seem nice as does my advisor. i feel a bit bad bc ill have to learn genome stuff from the ground up. and today i was trying to#convey ideas to him like an insane person. bc i dont have enough background to talk fluidly abt my prospective project and i have a picture#of what i mean but not all the details. hopefully i made some sense. i think the idea is cool. and thats the other really positive thing.#the papers i have to read associated with this project r waaaaaaaaaay more interesting than anything i ever had to read for my masters. like#they're the types of papers i would force other ppl to read for lab meetings. so im optimistic abt not hating it by the end haha#yay for being excited abt science. but i guess thats the other thing i feel bad abt. like im interested but haven't read a lot to prep bc#i cant express how difficult dyslexia makes things but also i cant control how interested in things i get so i bassically banned myself#from reading papers im actually interested in like 3 years ago bc in retrospect i was prob going thru a hypomanic episode#and i was like reading papers abt microbes in Antarctica all day and not working on my stuff. and i just remember walking into the lab at#like 5am to trasfer alage with tears streaming down my face bc i was just like. i cant have this nice thing and b functional. it has to stop#so i just created this weird barrier in my mind where im not allowed to read fun papers. so its odd to b reading them now for work. its odd#also i was walking to my office worring abt things and then i saw some moss growinf around the edge of the sidewalk and it made me wanna cry#bc i am an extremely normal individual. i have normal feelings abt photosynthesis. but anyway yeah. its been interesting#hopefully ill stay optimistic. next week we have a orientation for new grad students. and i might have to drive like an hr away. hate that#the driving i mean. not the orientation. that should b fun#unrelated
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pepprs · 1 year
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mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#i literally can’t quit omg i feel so fucking bad. it wasn’t so bad this time but also HE LITERALLY FORCED ME TO COME OUT LKKE GIRL HELLO????#he cornered me and asked me if redacted had to do w my s*duality and i was like ummmmm. yeah 🫣 and he was like now why didn’t you say that t#the first time 🤨 and i was like …………. 😳. AND THEN i asked him why he asked me that and he said he’s been waiting for the right moment to get#it out of me and he always suspected it LIKE HELLO I THINK THAT IS POSSIBLY WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE I WANTED TO DIEEEEEE#and i lied right to his face abt stuff w my mom and also the redacted situation bc i always feel in trouble whenever i talk abt them w him#and also he asked how things were w my mom and i told him and he was like that’s great but how are things with YOU and yoir mom 🤨. UGHHHHH#and i can’t leave bc his supervisor is gravely ill and they haven’t talked abt doing inter generational therapy w me yet which is what they#want to do <- hasn’t looked it up yet and doesn’t know what it receals about me. and he also is like yet agai. trying to get me to separate#myself from data expunged AND ITS LIKE OMGGGG NOTHING IS HAPPENING WHY DO I HAVE TO THROW AWAY A GOOD THING THAT IS WORKING FOR ME JUST FOR#THE SAKE OF CONFORMING TO SOME STUOID MENTAL HEALJT STANDARD. so yeah ummmmm idk what to dooooo i know im not getting the best possible care#and this whole thing has been a cluster fuck but he validated my reaction to something for the first time like EVER today and he has plans a#and what if they work. and like omg if i drop it on him he’ll be so hurt and surprised like it will really come out of nowhere and i don’t w#want to look like even more of a fool to him than iam. but he says i can’t withhold stuff bc it’s doing me a disservice and we need to see t#the fullness of who i am to get to the root and solve problems and stuff but it’s like uhmmmm… but you don’t make me feel safe for reacting#the way i do or wanting things to work out in a way you disagree with so how can i bring out all the parts of me if you don’t make me feel a#safe and unjudged for doing so like. lol. the thought of leaving him makes me feel so guilty and stupid bc it s like why are you throwing aw#away sliding scale therapy that could turn out to be really useful and running away when ppl tell you things abt yourself you don’t like to#admit and force you to look at your hard ugly truths. but also the thought of working w him until july after already having had 16 weeks of#this literaly makes me fucking insane so idk what to do and finding a new counselor would be so hard and i don’t have time or money. UGHHHH!#purrs#delete later#like how am i gonna walk out on him when we just spent all this time talking abt how this new technique will bring me into a new season. AUG
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rosykims · 2 years
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just had perhaps the cringiest and most overdramatic hysteria industed panic attack on my life ft scream crying and babbling incoherently. i was vibing and singing not 15 mins ago. duality <3
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guideaus · 1 year
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i was making my wha/trigun post, but i couldnt decide who'd relate to who since vash and wolfwood kind of both share a lot of qualities
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garlique · 2 years
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.sadposting.
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Hiii! This is one of my first request like ever so idk if I'm doing it right lol but I was wondering if u could write percy x hades!gf hcs, I never see much of hades sadly lol but if u can't or don't want to I perfectly understand and hope you have a lovely day<333
⋆⭒˚.⋆ percy jackson x daughter of hades! reader hcs
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content: percy jackson x daughter of hades! reader hcs warning: talk of death??, minor angst at the end kinda sorta not really, author's note: i liked this one. i feel like this was a nice balance between silly goofy and seriously good takes. ALSO i would like to apologize in advance for those last few lines, i was feeling emo and sad and that's what came out of that. really rounds the whole thing out tho. also, honored to be your first request and i hope it's everything you want a more!!
i'm sorry but bro pulled both the children of hades??? hello??
he said imma 'make that family tree fall in love with me'
i just know every time percy does something hot, you and nico just share a glance that said 'this WILL be discussed before bed tn trust'
also, you and nico??? the best siblings
literally so cute together, so much love, so much trauma-
wait, what was that last one-
don't think about it too much
just like nico, you're a daddy's girl at heart and visit home (of the dead) as much as possible
and since hades is such a big gossip (you know its the truth) you just know he's prying you for information about your relationship
"but like...he treats you well, right?"
"yes, dad, obviously. if he didn't, he'd be dead."
"that's my girl."
and and even tho the hades cabin looks kinda sketchy and totally creepy, ideal nap and cuddle place.
like, cabin three is cool and all but the cabin thirteen is legit so perfect for naps bc built in blackout curtains and it's always cold so you can just cuddle up under your blankets with your snuggly son of the sea god and youre out like a light
until nico comes in banging cymbals that he got from gods know where, chanting 'GET OUT OF MY CABIN! GET OUT OF MY CABIN!"
"ITS OUR CABIN NICO!"
"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOOOOOOOU!" he yelled back, emphasizing his words with more cymbal crashes and pointed looks at percy, who was seizing with laughter
no one at camp really knows when you and percy became you and percy
just one day he was attached to you at the hip and no one asked questions
and when new campers ask the two when they got together, you both just share a glance and shrug.
anniversaries are celebrated randomly through the year, simply because you cannot remember dates to save your lives.
like, you'll just walk to breakfast and percy will present you with flowers and gifts and everyone cheers but as you give percy a kiss on his cheek you're like
"which one is this for?"
"i'm going with first date but tbh i have no idea."
"yeah, no, that sounds right, lets go with that."
just two idiots in love
two deadly idiots in love
but really, they only become a problem when you hurt the other
like you try stay out of fights as much as possible but the second percy has so much as a scratch, you're raising hell
literally
legions of hell will be raised to protect your man
he being helped off the ground by abe lincoln and princess diana fr
(not that im saying they in hell, they were just the only two famous dead people i could think of)
(don't shame me, i can feel it through the screen)
(SHUT UP-)
anyways
yeah, mr salt water and ms bones are in love and happy the world is spinning and they totally have no trauma at all
(percy doesn't want her anywhere near him sometimes, feeling like he can only bear bad news for children of hades)
(you get worried that percy might be too good for you, that you're tainted with the blood of the dead and there's no coming back from that. the blood of death is your blood is the blood of death. they are one in the same. you are death as death is you.)
very happy here, nothing to be concerned about 😀😀😀
dont worry, you guys talk through these issues and find healthy ways to deal with all the childhood trauma.
a couple that grows together, stays together.
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mvniro · 2 months
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. . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 DON'T BE NERVOUS. OH DEAR, YOU ARE FEVEROUS ; a nakahara chuuya fic.❞
˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . if you like, like this fic, i need a one page essay why lol.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw ; fem!reader, virgin!reader, senior!chuuya, virgin!chuuya, badboy!chuuya, fluff, nsfw, virginity loss, first time, unprotected sex, messy kisses, biting, choking, clit rubbing, squirting and yeah, that's all i remember.
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do people sleep at night to not be aware of the beauty which comes after the sunset as the time after sunrise had tired them out too much or is it because sleep is an absolute necessity for one?
but then again, both factors are true yet not everyone is fortunate enough to sleep for some suffer from insomnia or some may be spending a night they aren't accustomed to, finding themselves in a situation they may have never faced before in their lives.
you fall in the latter category as you follow chuuya into his apartment, his hand grabbing your wrist as he leads you inside the door before closing it and locking it.
your skin feels like it's igniting in desire and ecstacy, his touch still making the ground beneath your feet to disappear and making you feel like floating on thin air.
"you sure you gonna be okay with me sweetheart?" chuuya's voice reached your ears as he turned to face you while leaning on the door after locking it, an eyebrow raised as he showed some hesitance but you immediately nod, taking a step forwards so your knee could softly bump into his while you grab his wrists, squeezing them.
"yeah, i rather be with you then with my neighbor anyway. my parents don't have any problem as well . . do you?" you ask as you stare at him with an ounce of nervousness dancing in your pupils and chuuya immediately shook his head with a smile.
your eyes fell on his lips which curved up but the small bruise on the corner of his lip was hard to avoid. yet you didn't ask him about its origin the first time your eyes fell on it and didn't plan on doing now as well, had it not been for him noticing your stare.
"it's nothing sweetheart. just a small scratch from a fight." chuuya tried to reassure you as he raised his hands which you were holding before placing your hands around his neck. his hands immediately went to encircle around your waist as he lifted you on your tiptoes a bit.
"why did you get into a fight?" you make sure to ask calmly so it would not come of as negative or offensive to the man you love and he hummed, making you walk backwards so he could lead you to his living room.
"couldn't help it, a guy was talking shit about you." he does not try to hide the truth, grinning mischievously before making you plop down on the sofa and looking down at you, "and i really can't tolerate anyone speaking shit about my sweet girl."
"so you punch the person?" you tease as you crane your neck to watch him take your bag to his bedroom before returning to sit next to you and he nodded, quite proudly too. "i do exactly that."
chuuya scooted a bit closer to you before laying his head on your shoulder and staring up at you, taking your hand to place it on his thigh, you squeezed it making him close his eyes and breath through his nose in pleasure.
"do you still talk to that bastard?" chuuya asked after a few seconds of a very comfortable silence but his voice only adds more to the comfort you are feeling so you nod while you lean back against the couch more but your answer makes him frown.
"why?"
"because he is my senior? he will tell the professor i'm ignoring him and being disrespectful. i don't want my professors to think bad of me by knowing i ignore a senior." you tell as your eyes fall down on his face to see him pout up as if you said the most unacceptable thing to him and maybe you did, the thought makes you smile.
"i am your senior too sweetheart but i would never snitch on my junior like that." chuuya muttered, taking your other hand in his as he carassed the back of your palm with his thumb.
"that's because his entire role is to guide me and give me tips and stuff as a senior who gave this exam last year, so it really won't be ideal for me to ignore him chu." you tell as you chuckled at finding the older man acting so sulky to be adorable yet equally humorous.
"boo, that's stupid. nerd." chuuya playfully scoffed, a smile on his face to let you know he only meant this in a humorous fashion and not seriously and you play along, pressing the pad of your thumb against the small bruise on the corner of his lip and he hissed, exaggerating his pain.
"don't do that!" he playfully frowned as he scooted away from you and placed his hand over his mouth to protect it from you, playfully glaring at you, "for this, you'll sleep on this couch tonight."
"no, i won't." you deny as you smile cockily and chuuya nodded to argue against your claim.
"nah uh." you tell again as you scoot near him and lay your head on his lap, "if i sleep on the couch, you sleep next to me too."
"no i won't, i'll sleep in my room and on my very comfortable bed." chuuya smirked though it disappeared as quickly as it appeared when you lifted his white t-shirt to reveal his stomach, the sight of the faint abs he has still making you as flustered as the first time but you push against your shyness to press your lips against his skin, leaving small kisses everywhere on his exposed skin.
"stop it sweetheart." he grits his teeth as he tries not to let his unstable breathing come to your attention and let you know how much he is enjoying the feathery touch of your lips on his skin.
"i don't want to." you mutter as you part your lips to let your tongue out, kitty licking his skin and the sudden cold and wet feeling of your tongue on his skin had him letting his head fall back against the back of the couch, his back arching slightly as he once again tries to make you back away.
"i am being serious sweetheart, stop it." his voice is low and husky as he raised his head, running a hand through his head as he stared down at you but he did not make a move until your fingers brushed past his crotch and even the slightest touch from you made him react as his thighs twitched.
"why don't you listen to me?" chuuya hissed as he grabbed your jaw and pulled you up. your balance became unstable due to this and to stabilize yourself, you placed your arms against his chest and chuuya only hissed more as your palms were pressed against his chest.
"do you not know how vulnerable you are right now against me? all alone with me, in my apartment, hm?" the attractive hum which left his lips had a great effect on you as you gulped, flinching a bit when his warm hands grabbed your hip to move and place you on his thigh and you bite your lip, feeling shy under his intense gaze so you close your eyes.
"you assured my father you'll keep me safe so i don't think you'll do anything to me." your voice is trembling as you speak and chuuya snickered at your naive words before he pulled your jaw to pull you closer, getting really close to your lips as he whispered and every time he parted his lips to talk, they brushed against yours.
"let's see if you still think so once i'm done leaving my bites and marks on you. have fun explaining to your father how you got them, okay? that or you stop being a brat right now." chuuya proposed but it wasn't really a proposal as he gave you only one choice, the other being a dirty fantasy but you both know it's too risky to make it into a reality.
you felt goosebumps rising on your forearms and nape as you knew his eyes were still staring and taking in your features but you did not open your eyes, your ability to make eye contact weakening whenever it's his pupils in which you have to stare at, so you surrender as you are aware of the arousal pumping through your veins yet you do not act on it due to the fear of being seen as desperate or ruining the smooth course in which things are playing by now.
"sorry chu." your voice is just as shaky as your breathing is and chuuya gulped at this tone which made butterflies to swarm his stomach and lower abdomen, the temptation of doing anything to you in the security of his apartment is strong yet not strong enough to overthrow his rationality. he only pushes his head a bit forwards and parted his lips a bit to let his hot breath hit against your lips, the action and feeling of the sudden change of temperature on your lips making your lips twitch which made it brush against his, making him breath out shakily like you.
"there it is, good girl." chuuya praises you and his own eyes nearly closed at how sensitive he is feeling with every brush of his lips against yours and he knew of his body and what it is feeling right now, this is why he pulled his head back and didn't kiss you because he knew of what his one action would lead him to do.
once his hand leaves your jaw, you open your eyes and immediately get off his lap to hide your own growing arousal as you look at him nervously and offer him a shaky smile which he mirrored.
"i'm gonna change into something more comfortable . . ." you trail off as your eyes followed his hand which he raised to scratch his cheek and he looked at you after hearing your words, raising his eyebrows in amusement as he seemed to get over his state quicker than you even if if was a mask of pretence to make sure you did not feel uncomfortable.
"who told you that you can do so? should you not ask me for permission first since you are in my house." chuuya grinned and watched you walk towards his bedroom, knowing his apartment very well due to visiting a few times prior.
"you may not know this but the moment i came here after the third time -- your apartment automatically became mine so basically i am walking in my apartment right now and so, i don't need your permission for everything." you teasingly tell while walking towards his room with the bag you brought which contained all your necessities. a smile made its way on your lips when you heard the melodious sound of chuuya cackling before he seemed to realise something and stood up, jogging towards you.
"fine, since you wanna act as if everything i own belongs to you -- why don't you wear my shirt to sleep?" chuuya proposed a bit too excitedly then what he would've liked to express but you only smiled and nodded, making him feel thankful as he looked straight with a very faint blush on his cheeks as he already pictured you in his clothes.
when chuuya opened the door to his bedroom, the cold surface of the door brought him back to life and made him to stop thinking about you in a way he won't feel proud to say out loud, he looked at you over his shoulder to see how you patiently waited for him to enter his room in case he needed a very short moment of inspection to approve of the state of his room, you smiled a bit at him and chuuya gulped, looking forward again and scolding himself mentally to think of something so perverted which he wanted to do to you.
your palms felt sweaty as you silently sat on his bed while he rummaged through his closet for the article of clothing he wore many times and thought just as many times of how you would look in it. you've been to his room before but this is the first time to be here this late at night and so, the bedsheets feel more colder then they normally do.
you grip them in an attempt to stop your palms from getting so sweaty and looked at front to stare at chuuya after taking in his dark interior and aesthetic of his room again and when you did, you bit your lip at the sight of his back muscles flexing.
chuuya isn't muscular but rather lean yet one could still see the results of his daily workouts and practicing martial arts since a young age when he does something which makes his firm muscles or abs flex.
as he leaned to find the t-shirt he wants you to wear, you notice his hoodie riding up to reveal his back, you never thought of yourself to be so perverted to get affected by such simple and normal display of skin yet here you are, body feeling unbearably hot at the sight of the flawless skin.
chuuya muttered a cheer as he stood up straight and turned to look at you, tossing the t-shirt at your face. you tut in disapproval as you grab the t-shirt and look down at it to see it being a black colored one which doesn't really surprise you considering his overall aesthetic.
chuuya bit his lip while he stared at how you opened the t-shirt and placed it against your chest to see if it'll fit you or not and he smiled when you looked up with raised eyebrows, the gesture being enough to tell him of what your question is ; why is the t-shirt so oversized?
"it's convenient." he muttered with a boyish grin, closing the closet doors without looking back yet the moment he does so, you are able to look at your flustured reflection as they have full length mirrors attached to them.
you do not think twice about his words before nodding, making him satisfied. he walked towards the bed to which you gripped the sheets hardly and watched him pick a pillow, you understood his actions and quickly spoke to stop him,
"are you going to sleep on the couch? don't." you breath out once you realize how desperate your words sound yet you can't do anything to take them nor do you want to, you focus your eyes on him to see him smile yet it doesn't contain any arrogance or playfulness, no, it's pure and simple. as if it were your words or the tone you requested in that made his lips curve up.
"why? won't that be ideal?" chuuya uttered  softly while his voice remained void of any kind of teasing or cocky tone, not even seduction dripped from his tone except for pure softness, giving even him a soft look on his face.
". . . weren't you the one who said this is your apartment and so it won't be good for you, the owner, to sleep outside on the couch in the living room." you found yourself rambling quickly as you wish for him to believe your excuse which sounds dumb and pathetic even to you, your ears felt like being on fire due to how desperate you are sounding by asking him to stay but chuuya decided to be generous today and so, he only raised his eyebrow to ask you to elaborate more on your words.
or perhaps he found himself enjoying the garden of pleasurable affection he is in, any and every signs of lust is no where to be seen for atleast miles right now.
and nakahara chuuya, the man who always gave and never even thought of receiving, found himself being showered by the raindrops of your care and affection.
show the hopeless a solid hope and watch them cling onto you for more hope and show nakahara chuuya genuine care and he will look at you as if you are the one who hung the stars and moon in the night sky, as if you are an entity.
which to him, you are for who could even love this man who doesn't see anything worth loving in himself if he isn't wearing the mask of attraction and mischief which usually gets people to swoon over him?
". . . it's really important for you to sleep on the same bed as me or it'll be dangerous." you continue to sink deeper into this pit of a terrible excuse your desperation caused you to dig and chuuya chuckled, covering his face with his hand to stop you from seeing the dumb smile growing on his face.
"why dangerous?" chuuya asked as he ran a hand through his hair and although he still wanted you to try your best to convince him, he placed the pillow back in its place.
"well for starters . . . . i need you to sleep next to me so i can feel protected?" you blink as you ponder on your words but when you look at the reappearing cocky grin on chuuya's face, you felt your entire body burning in embarrassment and so you grab the nearest object your hands could find -- his t-shirt, and you throw it at him. "fuck off, nevermind."
so you said yet why are you laying beside him with a mind running wild with thoughts but a heart running even wilder?
you turn to your side to immediately face him who is already staring at you and from the way he is biting his lips, you know he is at the same crisis as you and is not able to sleep due to the overbearing heat from the other's body and ones own sensitivity as this is a first time experience for you both.
chuuya's eyes racked down to admire the way his t-shirt is just as big on you as it is on him but for some reason, you look way appealing in it to the point he is considering giving it to you forever, his eyes then went lower to see the t-shirt ending at your midthigh after which your bare legs were at the mercy of his eyes and intentions but he wanted to see more even if he looked away with a blush the first time you stepped out of the bathroom after changing.
chuuya looked at you as he raised his hand to place it on your covered hip and what you immediately notice are how warm his hands are even now despite the room being cool to such an extent that you two are under blankets (mostly him since you have your blanket only covering a quarter of your body) --separate blankets to your displeasure, so you make the first move.
". . . . it's cold, isn't it? why --"  you paused upon suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed before looking down at chuuya's loose grey sweatshirt and you try to speak again once you find yourself not getting hot under his gaze, "-- why don't you come a bit near me?"
you raised your eyes again to see a giddy smile spreading on chuuya's face as a low hum reverberated through the chest and throat, your heart began beating in excitement and you nearly shivered when chuuya discarded his blanket and leaned on his elbow as he leaned over you to grab your blanket and cover both you and him with it. he inched closer to you and when his knee barely touched yours, your breath hitched as if you are afraid of letting it out and ruining this adulterous silence between you two.
chuuya's leg forced its way between both of yours as the hand on your hip inched towards your butt to push it, making you move just the tiniest bit closer to him and the smile on his face reappeared as he whispered, "is this better?"
his hot breath hits your cheek bone due to him laying on the same pillow as you to be extremely close to you and you found it hard to speak or rather feared speaking due to what the situation could lead to once the words who are the prisoners of the brain and heart, finds leeway through your parted lips, and so you shook your head.
chuuya pouted a bit at the lack of your voice which feels like cool to his ears like how coolness feels to a feverish body but he does not voice out his desire. rather, his hand crawls back up to your hip and he pushes the t-shirt up to feel your boots shorts and to push it upwards as well before he finally has your bare skin beneath his palm.
"what can i do to make you feel warm sweetheart?" chuuya asked and maybe it's the lump of arousal in his throat that is making his voice to come out sounding so low and raspy but you can not look away from the effects it has in the form of goosebumps on your skin.
"maybe rub my bo-body?" as a contrast to his, your voice is shaky and breathless and your words are spiraling in your mind due to your focus being completely on his hand caressing your hip and this is why you stumbled upon your words in the end.
you bite your lip when you see a small yet cocky smirk appearing on his face as his arrogant nature returns when he saw the effect he is having on you by a simple yet intimate touch. his arrogance now serving as a motivation for him to continue with his action and so he does by moving his hand up towards your waist and under the t-shirt.
"you sure? you've been eyeing me awfully a lot today." chuuya makes it known to you that he had noticed your behavior from earlier and you nearly whimper as you try to turn around but his hand and leg between both of your's stop your mobility, his knee presses down on your inner thigh and it had you gulping as you felt yourself grow needier and needier the more he pressed his knee down to ensure you won't turn around. this action of his is making you face your arousal that you were trying to ignore as you wondered if only you are the one in such a state for he looks way more composed than you if he is as well.
"you were imagining it." you mutter in such a quiet tone that for a moment even you doubted if he heard you or not but when he moved his knee a bit upwards, you knew he did. your chest rises up and down a bit and chuuya looked down with a knowing smirk before looking up at you again but he does not comment, rather, he lowered his body and leaned near you, grabbing your throat to push your face up towards his as he whispered right against your lips which made you shudder, "yeah? am i now?"
you did not have time to reply and neither the ability when chuuya pressed his lips against your's, greedily moving them and forcing you to keep up with his clumsy pace. your hands reached up to grab his shoulders as you tried to push yourself up to be able to kiss him better but he digged his knee deeper into your thigh while his hand, instead, moved upwards and towards your back as he tried to find your  bra strap and open it with ease.
his desperation for the same mutual release and feelings as you is made quite clear by his rushed and desperate moments. once your bra strap was unclipped, chuuya pulled his hand out of your t-shirt and grabbed one of your wrists to pull your hand down towards his legs.
you closed your eyes as chuuya parted his legs a bit to place your hand between his thighs before he closed his thighs around it and after that, he immediately pulled back from the kiss but did not move his head back, he tilted his head to have his lips against your cheek and muttured, "am i also imagining this?"
he taunted and kissed your cheek once, twice, thrice while he kept on tightening his thighs around your hand in a very cruel way to get you to go over the edge.
your eyes fluttered open and you looked at him with a rushed breathing pattern and shook your head to which he immediately released your hand, smirking again as he pecked your cheek again before he turned around as if you did not see the pink on his cheeks and his half lidded eyes or as if he did not open your bra up.
you stared at his back which mocked you and you looked down, slowly bringing a hand down between your thighs to touch your cunt and when you felt the sticky wetness through the cloth, you know you can not ignore the burning ignition inside your veins any longer for there is now physical evidence to make it clear that even if you wanted to distract yourself from these thoughts and engage in an act of harmless sleeping and perhaps cuddling with your boyfriend, you cannot.
so you try to bring it to his attention as you moved closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist which brought a smile to chuuya's face. said smile disappeared immediately as he realized one of your hand creeped under his sweatshirt and to a contrast to his warm hands, your's are cool.
chuuya bites on his tongue when your hand traces over his back and slither towards his shoulder blades between which you apply pressure at. he groans at the soothing sensation on his tensed muscles and looked down at your other hand wrapped around his stomach. he placed his own warm hand over your own and squeezed it to let you know of his silent appreciation and gratitude to you and this gesture of your's which he found very caring and adorable.
but he soon found out your real intentions when the hand under his wiggled out of his grip and he smiled upon finding your actions to be utterly adorable ; then the hand went under his sweatshirt and he let out a breathy snigger as he realised your true intentions when you began to rub your thumb over his stomach, trying to find the sensitive spot from earlier to tease him.
"sweetheart, are you not sleepy yet? should i tire you out?" he talked knowing you got the implications of his words when he noticed you inhale shakily, he knew his low tone had many and quick effects on you when he felt your legs move behind him to clench them, he assumed.
"what do you mean chu? i am just trying to warm up." you knew your excuse is not believable at all for your tone is breathy and shaky, making your voice sound a lot as if you are whining and it had effects on him when your voice cracked in between your words and his shoulders tensed.
"i know of a better and more fun way to warm you up." chuuya whispered as his hand also went under his shirt to try and find your's, he firmly squeezed your hand under his when he does and the silence formed due to your absence of a reply only urged him to continue with his elaboration.
"it requires your back to be pressed against my chest and . . ." he raised your hand through under his shirt and towards his lips as he kissed your fingertips, ". . . my hands all over your chest."
to put emphasis on his words, chuuya guided your hand down his chest and he smirked at how your palms got slighty sweaty before he continued with his relentless torture using a double edged sword as the more he teased and tried to rile you up, the more he did as well.
"i don't think that much is enough to keep me warm though." you quietly mumble for only him to hear your voice of boldness pushing past the shyness you usually display as you raised his shirt towards his shoulders and you placed a kiss on one of his shoulder blades.
his breath hitched in such a shaky way that even he realised how clear it is to realise how the kiss affected him and how unused he is to actions so intimate.
"y-yeah? . . . then i guess i'll just cover your hands to keep you warm." chuuya sighed through his nose at the way he is acting so nervous because your little kisses all over his shoulders aren't stopping for even once, you only hum against his skin.
chuuya licked his bottom lip which he was fooled by his nervous brain into thinking is dry, guiding your hand down his stomach and under the waistband of his sweatpants, ". . . is this better?"
chuuya whispered out as he teasingly trailed your hand (by guiding your wrist) up and down his clothed cock and he could feel the way your hand stiffened up, a victory for him to feed his childish desire to get you equally if not more flustured than he is.
but once chuuya felt your now warm hand (due to his gripping your's tightly) hovering above his dick, he felt his reasoning and self control jumping down the cliff and into the sea of lust as the waves hit against what is remaining of said cliff and trying to break it.
". . .  please chuuya?" chuuya was snapped out of his dilemma when he heard your shaky voice and he raised his head, looking at you over his shoulder to stare at you and let the cool realization settle on his otherwise hot body, as he stared at you to see you biting your lip and legs clenched tightly together to the point where even a third party could step in right now and could guess with a glance that you are turned on and chuuya truly pondered on how did he not realize this sooner, was he that invested in fighting off his own urges to not notice yours?
". . . please w-what sweetheart?" to fight lust is different when you've once submitted to it and it's different to fight it when it wants you to submit to it. you and chuuya fall into the latter category and so this is why his voice has lost the element of stability and composition it usually contains for all chuuya could focus on now is how arousal is ticking him and making his brain fry.
you parted your lips to reply but chuuya could see how instead of words, a whimper left your lips and you looked down, lips once again coming in contact with his shoulder and he almost cursed under his breath.
"i asked you something sweetheart, be good and reply." chuuya's tone suddenly turned firm as he still seemed to have some kind of control over his emotions and feeling still, but you didn't. and thus, upon hearing his firm tone, you felt yourself dripping between your legs and the burn and urge to have chuuya in between your legs, rummaging into you, got stronger and held you hostage.
"please . . . i want you in me." you whispered out pleadingly and the cliff of resistance on which chuuya stood, crumbled into pieces and as each small piece fell into the water, the water splashed up and hitted against chuuya's face, further edging him to go insane and to give in to his desires and temptations.
and so, he did when chuuya made you grab his semi hard clothed dick and made you move your palm up and down while he too grinded against the flat of your palm, his head dropped on the pillow as he let out sharp gasps and hisses at the sensation.
the lewd yet somewhat quiet sounds made you to cross your legs against each other tighter as you let out shallow breaths, feeling the heat consume your body in a rapid pace and if you don't get to release it soon, you feel like you'll be paralyzed but these kind of thoughts disappeared once you felt chuuya's dick hardening under your palm.
said man turned to face you and you never felt so disgusted by your thoughts as you do now when you saw sweat pooling on his forehead and your first thought is to wonder how it would feel like to lick it but the rationality which poked and wondered the reason behind these vile thoughts were forgotten when chuuya leaned forwards to push his head under your shirt, pulling down on your bra and tossing it somewhere on the floor, he rubbed his forehead against one of your breasts to rub off the sweat. you gulped.
"you are asking me for something very risky right now, sweetheart." the proximity, the intensity and the decendence to the sea of lust has an impact on chuuya in every way available and it was showing with the way he has no control over his own voice as his words came out with a growl.
but he did not let you talk, no. it's more as if you didn't dare to talk in the presence of the one you are deeming as an entity for how can a mere man look so ethereal in the midst of the night sky with only the moonlight falling on his face?
it is then and there that you wondered if this is a desperate attempt of the moon to touch and caress chuuya's face, as if even the celestial body could not come in terms with the fact that such a man who looks so exquisite wields the power and authority to make another human, you, grow speechless.
your body doesn't. your hands slowly grab the edge of your shirt as you try to pull it up as much as you can in this position where you are laying on your side ; as a silent approval of consent but chuuya preferred verbal confirmation in situations which you would be facing for the first time.
"are you sure?" chuuya doesn't look up but speaks against the fat of your breast and you hum out, looking down with eyes glazed with lust, your core throbs painfully when chuuya had raised his eyes to stare up at you like a tiger eyeing it's prey before pouncing on it.
"yeah, please." you nod but even these two words which would've been like water flowing in any other moment, required you to use most of your energy right now.
chuuya pushed himself up as he sat on the bed and looked at you, he wondered for a moment but when he looked down at your needy state and his own neediness growing, he knew he will not be able to walk out of this situation any longer.
so with a sigh that did very little to hide the excited smile growing on his face, chuuya tapped his thigh to let you know that he wants you to sit on it and when you raise yourself on your knees, you felt them getting shaky as you see chuuya run a hand through his hair and grip the roots as he wetted his bottom lip.
your one moment of hesitance led to chuuya grabbing your throat gently yet still tight enough to stimulate the exact emotion he wanted you to feel and pull you on his lap ; the moment the tip of his index and middle finger pressed down at the sides of your neck as he chocked you was when your eyes almost rolled back, this action of his being one you are very familiar with but not this strength he is excreting right now to make this moment sensual.
as a result of your feelings being skyrocketed due to this one move alone, you are not sober enough to grasp your stability and so, your hands land on his stomach, on top of his abs as you use his abs as a wall or pillar to maintain your bodyweight and not fall on him while he pulled down on your shorts before letting you sit on his thigh, you could see him carelessly tossing your shorts on the floor through your peripheral vision.
chuuya looked at you and smiled fondly when he saw you gulping as you look away from him, your inability to make eye contact with him has always been amusing and adorable to him and often is what he will use to tease you but right now, he remained quiet as he turned a bit to grab the bottle of cold water he usually keeps on his nightstand.
chuuya unscrewed the lid and offered the bottle to you and without any words being exchanged, you did what he wanted you to as you grabbed the neck of the bottle and brought it towards your parted lip to drink the chilled water contained inside. as the cold liquid flowed down your throat, it didn't satiate your needs or anything but helped you to be a little less bothered and a bit more composed than earlier.
"listen to me now sweetheart. now that you aren't that bothered anymore, take a few seconds to think if you really want to do this okay?" chuuya told as he took the bottle from you and screwed the lid on again and when he placed the bottle on the nightstand again, you felt yourself finding it hard to breath properly at the veins on his hands becoming more prominent when he streched his hand yet you obeyed chuuya as you thought and listed off all the pros and cons of what would happen if you would let the night continue in the path it is going in now.
yet it really isn't much of a surprise to either of you when you moved your hips on his thigh to feel some friction soon -- a silent response that your answer remains the same as the first time.
chuuya bit his bottom lip upon feeling the outline of your cunt through your panties and just how soaking wet you were but he wasn't rash, he gently grabbed your hips to stop you from grinding against his thigh to speak,
"you tell me if it hurts you or if you feel even the slightest discomfort or fear, okay?" chuuya lowly yet seriously instructed you and when you nodded, he rewarded you by slowly moving your hips back and forth on his thigh once before he paused again to continue,
"sweetie, listen to me. you know that i won't be angry or upset if you tell no, right? i don't want you to do something in the heat of the moment and then regret it later. so i will ask again sweetheart, are you sure you want this?"
"yes! . . . please?" you whisper out and chuuya sighed in what seemed to the moon as utter fondness. chuuya nodded, satisfied as he leaned forwards to capture your lips against his again.
and the moon grew shy and asked a cloud to cover its vicinity when chuuya licked your bottom lip to ask you to part your lips for him, his one hand leaving your hip to slide into your panties as he traced around to find your clit, being equally inexperienced as you.
a cloud covered the moon and blocked the moonlight from reaching the bedroom, your own hand slided inside your panties as you grabbed his hand and guided him to your clit. chuuya's tongue entered your mouth and teased your own tongue as he flicked and licked it, he pressed his lips harder against your's when you let out a whimper when his thumb began to rub your bud in a circular motion.
seeing as how chuuya played with your clit and rubbed it, you saw no more use of your hand so you pulled it out of your panties, rather holding his shoulder as you try to remain stable while he tilted his head to have a better angle to get access to your mouth, his lips around your tongue.
your eyes opened in a flash as you let out a loud yet muffled moan when chuuya pressed down on your clit before he began to rub it again, quickly and you closed your eyes again. you never thought that the mere action of stimulation could be so pleasurable that it would literally make you want to melt into a puddle.
you have masturbated but it never felt as good as when chuuya is doing it for you and maybe it's him who is making this entire experience more hotter or his wet kisses which now trail down your jaw and towards your collarbone that is making you extra sensitive to his finger.
chuuya pulled back before he could reach your throat and looked at your blissful expression, ordering lowly, "sweetheart. take your shirt off or i'll tear it."
you wondered if he was aware of how your cunt throbbed at his words and you quickly obeyed, grabbing the edges of the t-shirt and pulling it over your head. the action causes your breasts to jiggle a bit and chuuya groaned at the sight before he immediately attached his lips to one of your nipples.
the immediate feeling of his wet tongue and the cold temperature of the room made your nipples perk and chuuya took advantage of this as he sucked on one.
"chu- pleas -- ah!" you moaned out as your body leaned forwards on chuuya's when you felt the unexpected orgasm coming out of you, the small act of nipple play being the trigger for this sudden orgasm as well as the sensitivity in your inexperienced body.
yet chuuya's lips didn't abandon your breast even when you leaned forwards on him, he just grabbed your waist with one hand to keep you secure and his thumb continued to rub on your clit till your rapid breaths slowed down.
you weakly grabbed his biceps and pushed yourself to sit properly on his thigh again as you looked at him who finally separated himself from your breast, his hand which was inside your panties moved towards your labia as he tried to gather some of your wetness on the pad of his thumb.
chuuya pulled his hand out of your panties and brought it towards your other breast which he was not able to shower with his attention to rub his wet thumb against your nipple, he pressed on your nipple and dragged his finger across your areola. the slick which covered your nipple and most of your areola is a sight chuuya will remember for many nights to come as he found this sight which is a result of his actions to be a turn on.
"chuu . . . won't you do anything to me?" you whisper out as you are afraid to speak loudly and ruin this tranquility but chuuya had always preferred your voice along this tranquil atmosphere to be more soothing than the former alone anyway.
"what do you want me to do sweetheart?" chuuya breathed out, his chest moved in and out when he exhaled and once again, his hand reached down to rub against your slit through your panties. he grinned when he realised how utterly wet your panties were due to your arousal and cum dripping down it.
"anything you want." you breath out, your head lowered to look at him rubbing your cunt through your panties but it seemed as if he suddenly paused his action when you spoke up.
"anything?" chuuya repeated, "you sure 'bout that sweetie?"
you felt your body and cheeks heating up but you nodded, pushing past this shyness that he is producing in you to give the limelight to your lust which chuuya certainly took care of when he grabbed the underside of your thighs to lift you up and laid you down on the bed.
"please chuuya? how much more are you going to make me beg?" you looked up at him as he planted both of his hands besides your head and leaned down to peck your lips. his lithe fingers then moved to pull at the waistband of your panties and pull it down, you lifted your hips so he could do it easily and once your panties were pulled down to your knees, you raised one of your legs to pick your panties with your toes and pull it down, tossing it far away inside the room.
"did i make you beg me a lot?" chuuya chuckled as he asked you, he experimentally lowered himself and adjusted till his crotch was against your's and he pushed against your's and he immediately felt the urge to push his hips and to feel more of this newly found sensation itching at the back of his mind but chuuya refrained from doing so, trying to control himself. but how could he when you looked so preety when you nodded your head at his question, your half lidded eyes stared up at him and made him feel like what a greek god would when mortals would fawn upon him and his visuals.
utterly in admiration of the being which is partially a god and nervous to be in the presence of such kind, only a man could and who were you if not the one who worshipped chuuya the most and is chuuya really the one you trust your heart with if he doesn't prove again and again that just because his fists talks more then him, alcohol and wine is what energy drinks are to others in his age range -- does not mean that he is a stereotypical troublemaker. oh no, not when he treats you like a man of the highest caliber would treat his woman.
"don't worry sweetie, gonna spoil you tomorrow just as much as i am making you beg me tonight, yeah?" he rubbed his finger against your lip as he promised his affection and you hummed, parting your lips for him to shove his finger inside but chuuya didn't do as you expected him to do so, instead he blew a puff of air inside your mouth and watched as you blinked, overthrown by the suddenness and randomness of this action before your lips curled up as you laughed, somewhat embarassed.
"you are ruining the mood!" you whined as you smacked his chest but chuuya only sniggered on top of you as he raised his eyebrow in faux perplexity.
"what? no, i'm making the mood. you are just too used to all those porn and smut clichés to not appreciate my unique take on how to set a mood." chuuya playfully scoffed and leaned down to peck your jaw when you shook your head, denying with his words completely.
"just say you don't know how to get a girl wet chu --" your words were left hanging on your tongue when chuuya wrapped his hand around your throat and slightly pulled you up to speak directly against your lips while he pushed one of his knees against your bare cunt and nudged it to make a point before he spoke,
"oh i doubt that sweetheart. 'cause according to me, you are very wet right now." chuuya scoffed and you almost moaned for how can a single guy be sexy no matter what he does?
it's not fair.
it's not fair how he is choking you a bit roughly yet his eyes are making sure to notice any signs of discomfort on your face, neither is it fair when he leaned down to whisper in your ear and ask you what position would you feel the most comfortable in as its your first time.
neither is it fair for one single guy to hold love enough to rival that of a sea inside him but well, chuuya always did things exceptionally well and better then what's expected of him.
loving you is no different. he does it in a way that makes it clear that this is something only he can do and no one else can. no one else can ever will to be honest because chuuya nakahara exists only once.
and he is damn sure he is going to love only once and only you for as long as his brain could function to capture these moments between you two as memories.
"i . . . i feel kinda embarrassed so i don't want you to actually look at my face . . . you know . . ." you struggle to explain your feelings as you stare at chuuya's softened eyes filled with love and adoration, you could feel yourself leaning against the mattress even more if possible as his stare is literally melting you.
"so you want me behind you? is that what you are trying to say sweetheart?" chuuya asked for clarification and when you nodded, he smiled, leaned down to plant a small kiss on your lips before he climbed off you and instead, laid on the side beside you. when you tried to turn to face him, chuuya grabbed your hip to restrict your movements and instead, he, himself inched closer to you while he turned you using your hip, on the other side, such that your back was pressed against his chest and his hardened cock was pressed against your asscheeks.
"chu --"
"shh. why don't you keep quiet and let me satisfy you, hm?" chuuya whispers and how can one even think about being offended when it feels like a big honor to have your sentence cut off by him, to know he feels that his words should be spoken at the exact moment or they'll loose their impact or meaning but in your case, whenever chuuya intrupted you, it has always been for a cause that would make your stomach be swarmed by butterflies.
"hm." so you nod, breathing out nervously as you stare at the wall while waiting for your nerves to calm down or chuuya to do something to distract you from yourself and your anxious thoughts and he does as you expected but not in the way you expected him to.
instead of teasing you further or anything, chuuya wrapped his arm around your waist as he hid his face against your shoulder and murmured against it, "i  . . . am scared sweetheart. i  . . don't wanna hurt you, not even by accident."
oh, did he loose his mask of confidence now, now that he has you close yet your hopeful eyes aren't looking at him to admire him and is this why he is feeling so transparent? in this silence you always bring along that he misses in his otherwise fast paced and chaotic life? yes.
mumbled were the words that came from deep within his heart and moved you, your eyes softened as you smiled like a fool, something you do mostly whenever you are with chuuya. you look down at his hand resting on your stomach and you place your own on top of his as you bring it towards your lips to land a small yet sweet (as believed by chuuya) kiss on it.
"i was scared too till you admitted you are as well. now, i feel a bit better knowing we are both lame as shit at this." you chuckle as you admit to him and chuuya's hand (which was on your cheek as you placed it there) pinched your cheek when he heard how much he and his talking habits influenced you.
"don't curse." he playfully warned but smiled against your shoulder when he heard you sniggering at the irony of his words.
"i can do whatever i want, who are you to tell me what to and what not to do? hm?" you hum and chuuya gulped upon finding the sound emitted by you to be fairly attractive to hear, he did not let you have the last say though.
chuuya used his other hand to pull down on his sweatpants and boxers at the same time to save the time as he could feel impatience beginning to claw at his feet now that the fear is leaving through the same limbs after your confession of your sincere feelings in this otherwise sinful night.
"your senior and more importantly, your fucking boyfriend." chuuya muttered out and his voice came out low and mumbled as he was more focused on removing the clothes that covered his lower limbs and abdomen.
the voice of the greek god had always been something humans desired to hear once before dying but do they not think about what would happen once they do actually here it?
why, of course, they become the same as you -- addicted to the voice and who cannot go one day without reminiscing that voice which moved the grounds below their feets and made the air flowing through them to feel more cool.
"you do as i say, yeah? be my good girl, always." chuuya told, no, perhaps he demanded of you to always be on your best behavior for no one wanted to see you succeed more than chuuya.
he walked on a path filled with rocks and thus, he tried his best always to influence you on what turns to take as he wanted you to walk on the opposite road, one filled with rocks, indeed since no path is easy, but one which will have flowers to be admired and not spitted out blood to grimace at.
you nodded and as soon as you did, it was as if it's a reward for being obedient ; you felt the head of chuuya's cock poke against your ass cheek and you gasped softly, feeling your heart beat fastening and you patiently yet eagerly waited for his next action.
"may i?" chuuya whispered to which you nodded. he grabbed the back of your knee to part your leg and hold it up while you nod as you feel you cannot speak up as quickly as you would want to at this moment yet you do not want to wait anymore.
"i'll run to the pharmacy as soon as it opens tomorrow and buy you morning after pills, so don't worry, hm?" chuuya found the need to clarify to soothe your nerves in case this is what is making you feel so nervous but this was not the case at all, you nod, yet your nerves do not calm down as many thoughts appear in your head at the same time -- all of them have the same objective to answer what he will do next but none of these scenarios you thought could be compared to the real thing.
"i . . . am sorry, fuck, my inexperience is really showing up huh?" chuuya laughs as he clumsily rubs the tip of his dick against your folds as to gather some slick on it, he did not bother getting any lube as your cum would act like it already and truth be told, he feels to hot to actually wait another second from pouncing onto you now.
"never really thought you would be a virgin tho --"
" -- put it in?" chuuya intrupted you to lowly speak near your ear as he nudged his tip against your clit and you nodded quickly, shakily grabbing his tip as you marvel at the texture for a while, holding a dick for the first time sure feels weird yet you don't feel scared rather excited as chuuya's breath hitched when your fingers grasped his head. chuuya inched even closer to you as he buried his head against the crook of your neck.
"continue," he ordered and you shakily inched his tip closer towards your entrance as you nodded.
"'-- i don't know, you just don't look like the type to be one. i know i shouldn't assume things about anyone but you can't help but create a certain image of someone the more you --" your words were brought to a halt again as you paused with your actions now that his tip is aligned with your entrance, afraid of the pain it'll bring while pushing his cock inside your entrance and chuuya sensed it, dreading the same moment himself since the course of this night started but he had been scared for far long to manipulate himself with fake confidence and courage and so, he kissed your neck.
"wanna bite my hand to distract yourself from the pain? it'll disappear soon." he whispered to you and even though you shook your head, not wanting to feel better by inflicting pain upon him, chuuya still brought one of his palms near your lips and pressed the side of his palm against your lips because he knew you would soon give in.
your core burned again in desire and blinded your rationality which knew about the pain it would bring to have your cunt penetrated by his dick for the first time yet it was silenced by desire, your hand holding his tip shook as he you slipped it down to grab his length inside of the head, pushing the tip closer to your slit.
it didn't feel painful except a hit foreign at first but as soon as you pushed his length inside more, you could feel almost as if your muscles are tearing ; instinctly you closed your eyes and your teeth sinked into the flesh of his palm without you even realizing of doing so, a pained gasp leaving your lips.
chuuya couldn't dwell over the feeling of your walls suffocating his cock due to your teeth almost piercing his palm, it was a shrill kind of pain yet still had a subtle undertone of pleasure beneath it as chuuya is no stranger to punches and kicks and over the years of being so fearless of getting into fights, chuuya grew a great resistance to pain.
he took over where you left, both of his hands occupied by your body (one was being bitten, the other was holding your leg up to give him access to your cunt). he slowly pushed himself into you more as he thought it will be the best to go at a slower pace and drag the process out then going in quickly during the first time and taking risks.
you let out a faint sound of pain, your teeth sinking harder into his palm and chuuya too, hissed but continued to push himself inside you and stopped only when he was balls deep in you ; he once again hid his face against your shoulder as he let out a chuckle through his gritted teeth,
"fuck, are you trying to mark me or something sweetheart?" whispers are mere words but not so anymore when the one whose lips they leave to make a emphasis is the man whose blood is art and whose eyes are the spell.
and you will always fall for the spell, won't you?
the pain subdued and paved the way for pleasure to come sauntering in and this is when you realised the choked whines and pants leaving chuuya who felt as if he will cum just from the way you are sucking him in so greedily and suffocating his cock, challenging him to move and welcome pleasure to enter your body without cumming himself at the first thrust.
your teeth lifted up from the skin yet as a replacement, your eyes fell to look if your bite was too severe, a relief filled breath being exhaled when your damage was just faint teeth marks on his palm and the skin near it being extremely red.
before anything else could grab your focus, you let out a loud and surprised moan as chuuya suddenly pulled his dick out all the way till only the crown remained in your entrance before thrusting in.
you tilted your head as you tried to look back at chuuya but the same hand that once distracted you from your pain, now is also distracting you from looking at chuuya as he wrapped it around your throat to keep your head forwards for he knew he would cum if your eyes met with his, if he saw how much pleasure he is bringing to you.
he pushed and pulled as his skin slapped against your's with each thrust he made and you whined for how is it fair for someone claiming to be a virgin to be so good at this?
and so you let your frustration be known.
" -- you are so good at this! you always know how to make me shy or riled up so it's hard to, m-mhm a -- . . . -- ahh . . ., it's hard to believe you are a vigrin -- oh fuck, chu --" your eyes rolled back when chuuya's hand abandoned your throat to grab your cheeks and squeeze them tightly.
"what the fuck did i say about watching your language? you either do that or i fucking swear to you that you won't be able to speak even a single word once i'm done with you." chuuya roughly spat out as he closed his eyes, lips parted open to make way for soft moans to leave his lips while he continued to thrust in and out of you, his hand which holds your leg up in the air shook a bit due to the pleasure messing with him.
chuuya felt your walls clenching around him as he entered and left yet when the tip of his dick touched that one spot, he whined out as your walls squeezed him greatly and he paused, catching his breath and stopping the orgasm building inside him to reach its peak. he raised his head to look at you and you happened to sense his movements, opening your eyes which you didn't even realized shutted down the moment his head grazed near your g-spot and chuuya whined, cheeks heating up as he stared at you.
with his hand still grabbing and squeezing your cheeks to keep your lips parted, chuuya leaned down immediately to let his tongue inside your mouth, lightly grazing your's as he felt his saliva mix with your's and even dribble down your chin due to his one sided french kiss.
messy yet hot, the way chuuya likes.
chuuya pulled back soon, not bringing himself able to ignore the way your thighs tenses and relaxed as you waited for him to begin thrusting inside you again ; when he pulled back, a string of saliva connected his lips with your's and it made chuuya smirk, he leaned down to lick your bottom lip before letting go of your cheeks as his hand immediately came down to pinch your nipple between his fingers, wanting to edge you using your sensitive spot and you were too deep in pleasure to realise how his fingers shook too and how he whimpered and panted, feeling like he never did before but something he wants to feel regularly from here on.
"oh sweetheart, you are such a preety mess f'me. ain't ya? if one more curse leaves your mouth, i'll make sure to actually take my warning to you seriously, 'kay?" chuuya grinned as you whined out and with a cocky grin resting on his face, chuuya laid his head on the pillow again, beginning to thrust into you slowly yet deeply but not for long as once the taste of pleasure reentered into chuuya's body, his thrusts grew quick yet clumsy.
chuuya's fingers continued their assault as well, pinching your nipples, groping your breasts and lightly caressing them with a ticklish touch, all to watch you crumble below his finger and he dared not stop till your breathing quickened even more.
the saliva which still dropped down your chin and onto your neck is nothing compared to the pleasure flowing down your spine and stopping at your abdomen, where it playfully pulled on one end of the knot in your stomach.
the endless sucking of chuuya's dick by your walls had his thighs shaking as he moaned out softly.
chuuya's finger trailed down your breasts, downwards your abdomen and settled at your pubis before it once again trailed downwards and chuuya swore he only touched your clit with his thumb when you felt more pleasure travel down your spine and up your legs in waves, heavy waves.
these waves broke the knot in your stomach and you loudly cried out in pleasure and surprise when your body begins to tremble, the waves flowing from your head all the way to your toes.
so what broke the dam that is the knot of pleasure?
it was when chuuya lifted himself a bit to cling onto your neck and lick the side of it, the moment you felt his wet muscle touching your skin, your knot broke and the door of the dams opened, you loudly came while moaning his name.
chuuya watched with wide eyes in amazement  your body shook and you squirted. he watched, till he couldn't anymore and with one more thrust, he entered what seemed like the mortal equivalent of a taste of heaven.
"chu." it's how your voice cracked when you called his name immediately after your orgasm ended that had him quickly pulling out of you. thick ropes of white painted your back and ass as if it were a canvas for his paint. like his heart was beating fast, so were you both as you two panted, desperately trying to come back to reality after getting a short glimpse of heaven on earth and when chuuya finally felt the sensitivity and leftover pleasure leaving his body and leaving it in a relaxed yet weakened state, he let your leg fall (the one he was holding up the entire time) and raised his hand infront of you to let you know he wants you to grab it.
you do, sucking another deep breath in to calm yourself from this addicting high, you raise your hand to clasp it against his, fingers tangling against his pretty, lithe ones and you wonder when the moon came out from its hiding again to shower chuuya's skin with its light, making his skin almost glow.
"was it good for you? any pain? was i too rough? did i go to hard --"
" -- why don't you just come and kiss me chu?" you mutter fondly as you stare at your clasped hands before chuuya tugs on it, his other hand going to grab your forearm to turn you around as he immediately raised his head to capture your lips in a soft kiss again.
━━━━━━━ 💋 end.
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yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶
i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)
have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖
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i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...
i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned
mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭
i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔
i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends
i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about
people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled
in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol
the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭
its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭
mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)
i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.
its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!
she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!
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she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"
she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)
she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.
he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.
THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.
she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7
but again, those are the consequences of HER actions
her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭
their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"
its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!
you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)
everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.
obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.
the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"
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she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!
just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.
im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!
im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.
i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!
i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process
talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol
i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭
its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.
all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.
i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.
also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!
thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!
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tremendum · 9 months
Text
i've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you
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[not my gif. title from song Of All the Gin Joints in All the World] pairing: joel miller x fem!reader (afab, use of she/her, use of the word girl)    
rating: explicit. (18+. mdni.)      
word count: 4.6k  requested: Could you write something (literally anything really) like mean Joel x feisty Reader but based on the ancient Fall Out Boys song "Of All the Gin Joints in All the World" pretty please? 🥺🥹 I was just listening and I thought the lyrics were perfect for your writing ❤️But as always no pressure and no problem at all if you don't like the idea or anything else. Lots of love! P.S. smut is very welcome btw hihihi summary: “Joel's not one for feelings anymore, but you seem to pull them out of him like it's your goddamn job." warnings: established previous hookups, use of girl/babygirl, established age gap (unspecified but addressed openly), brief mention of oral m!receiving, brief mention of reader and joel’s canon-typical scars. choking, mean!Joel & brat tamer!Joel, brat!reader lol, dirty talk (its joel), degradation, use of the word slut, slight dumbification, spitting, rough sex, unprotected PiV, cum eating, nipple play, slapping (tits, ass). think that's it!
notes: okay finally another mean!Joel for the soul!!! this is super unedited also. tysm for the request, obv inspired by the song Of All The Gin Joints in All the World by FOB. :) this was fun and i hope yall love it! dont b afraid to request anything yall wanna read at all and as always pls comment or reblog :) love u xoxo  
[other Joel fics: mr. miller series fever landmines  ]
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★  
Joel Miller isn't sure exactly when all this bullshit started. 
one day, he was introduced to you fleetingly in the cafeteria while you and Maria had an intense conversation - he’s not sure if you spoke for more than ten seconds; but months later and Joel happens to know exactly what your sweaty skin tastes like on the sharpness of his tongue and could probably list his favorite pairs of underwear you own. 
it's nothing, really. 
you patrol together often, and Joel guesses that out of all the insufferable people he's had to deal with, you're definitely not the worst. perhaps your handiness with a trigger - not nearly as inept as his own but definitely a close second - helps; or maybe it's the way your mouth feels wrapped around his cock. 
and he's not stupid; he knows exactly what Tommy was doing when he signed Joel with you for patrol - the same shit he'd been pulling since they were thirty years younger and Joel was fresh out of the relationship with Sarah's mom. but it's different now, because life is not the same - nothing is the same. 
Joel's not one for feelings anymore, but you seem to pull them out of him like it's your goddamn job. 
you are one talkative motherfucker; usually, that'd drive Joel up a wall, but after repeated and incessant exposure to Ellie for such an extended period, his patience has surprisingly grown.
and unlike others, you never acted nervous or scared by him. irritated, maybe, but it's not like he cares much if you get irritated by his attitude; you're worse than he can be.
at first, he thought you were just fucking him because you just didn't know who he really was yet. but months into whatever this shit is, and you're still - for whatever fucking reason - hanging around him, even after everything. he likes it, though, that you fight fire with fire.
and maybe that's why Tommy stuck you two together, because in some ways it was inevitable - maybe it was a good thing, Joel thinks. 
but this morning, as Joel's mind slams against his body, jolting him awake, his aching head makes him double-guess that.
it's weird how different it all is now - before you, Joel was tortured through nights plagued with sweats and memories. blood, pain, loss. he used to dream restlessly of life and all of its unforgiving horrors; but now, to his shock, he finds himself plagued with dreams of you. 
he gasps awake - he's not sure he'll ever stop that. 
but this time, you're next to him in the bed. his skin feels warm as the light filters through the blinds that stay constantly pulled down this time of year to retain the cool air and Joel lets out a shuttered sigh, his head aching.
it's only the second time you've stayed the night. he's never stayed at yours, god forbid - but a small part of him aches this morning when you slide out of his heavy, sleep-addled muscles. in the absence of your heat there is still bliss for a moment, until he's roused fully by your voice. 
"these sheets are dirty." the sound carries into his ears, melodic and fiery. he cracks one eye open, hand raising to rub over his face - a deep, tired sigh. 
"g'mornin' to you too." he snarks, sighing as he pulls himself on aching muscles to blink his eyes open; you stand over the bed, on the side that usually remains cold an empty while Joel thrashes in fits of restless sleep. there's not a single scrap of clothing on your body.  
he feels himself stir at the sight of you, naked, neck painted in a splattering of beautiful marks that'd been pulled forth in moments of ecstasy the night before.
you send him a half smirk, shrugging as you tug on a shirt - his, fuck, his stomach swirls at the sight of you wrapped in him. something primal crawls in his chest as you smile at him, legs almost glowing in their bareness as they knock against the side of the mattress. your fingers brush the fabric to the left of his head. 
"there's stains on the pillows." you shake your head, your face alluring in its tease. he feels himself roll his eyes as he grunts, "you're actin' like it ain't your makeup stainin' it?" 
he stares at the marks on the pillowcase; black, from that shit you sometimes put on your eyes which just makes them all the more beautiful, wide, and alluring. the makeup that's surely expired after all this time but still is something you like to do to, as you'd mentioned once, 'reclaim your humanity.' whatever.
Joel would never admit it to you, but he hadn't even really tried to wash out those stains; something about them gives him a warmth in his chest every morning that he wakes up in this cold bed. 
but when his eyes fall back to you in your silence, you smirk and it hits him: you're fucking teasing him.
he glares at you as your lips curl in a huff of a laugh, shaking your head. "if you keep complainin' about every damn thing, might as well just fuck you on the floor." he mutters, mostly to himself-  but also to see the way your thighs shift, eyes widening slightly as color washes your cheeks. you're squirming at his words, just like that - oh, he's got you pinned.
you'd like that, you dirty little thing.
but you regain your composure quicker than lightning, ready to snap back; yet another tally to add on the list of things he admires about you.
"you're such a gentleman, Miller." you snide, fanning yourself sardonically with one hand as you roll your eyes, searching for your underwear. 
he remembers the first time you'd said that to him -
"why so shy?" you'd purred. the memory of your voice curls around his ears as he huffs, watching you bend over and give him a complete view of your ass as you fetch your panties from the floor.  "c'mon, Joel, you don't need to be such a gentleman. 's nothing you haven't seen before." you'd stripped yourself of your shirt, your pert nipples pebbling in the cold breeze as he'd sat, cleaning his rifle. "the hell's the matter with you?" he'd grumbled; but it didn't stop either of you. you'd been pressed between him and the splitting backseat of the broken down crashed car within seconds, anyways. 
his eyes meet yours as you stand again. 
he snarks, "well you’re givin' me a headache, an' I've only been up for two minutes." he glares at you, swinging to pull his boxers over his hips, standing up to find his shirt. he pointedly ignores the glare you send him at his grumpiness. 
"you're the one acting dumb," you mutter, "acting like I'm the one who gives you headaches." you retort, a teasing glint in your eye; he knows that look. Joel knows you'd never get a headache from him - as much as he pisses you off, he knows you're too fiery, too lucky to get caught up in whatever miserable puddle he's drowning in. 
because Joel's bad luck curls around his fists wherever he goes; the talons reaching out, crawling through every hallway and seeping through every door. you, on the other hand, are like a goddamn firecracker. Joel hates the idea, but you're... somehow gifted in that way.
he's convinced his bad luck couldn't touch you if it tried. 
no matter the dumb shit you pull - forgetting a flashlight, not flipping off your safety that one moment when the clicker had stumbled out of the brush; all of that, and you escape unscathed, nothing but a giggle and a half-shrug from you before you move on to the next stupid thing. 
if you weren't such a goddamn brat, it'd be charming. 
his eyes snap to yours as your words fall from your lips; a burning in his chest at your tone. he watches your legs carry you into his bathroom, and he can't help it when his follow yours.
you haven't even flipped on the lights before he shuts the door behind him - you're already wearing that snarky fucking smile on your face, and he's straining already against his boxers.
he stares down at you, crowding you slowly into the wall. "what the fuck did you just say to me?" he hisses, mouth close to yours. as you turn your chin up towards his face, he can tell that you try your hardest to control your smirk, playing into the tense energy that's emanating from his chest. 
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"I said you're acting dumb."
you repeat, tilting your head slightly as you drink in the darkness in his eyes. lord, you'd let that darkness swallow you in a fucking heartbeat. 
speaking of; your own heartbeat thunders in your chest, anticipating. you know what's coming, you can nearly taste it on your tongue. 
"oh, 's that right?" Joel asks, tilting his head to stare down at you. you swallow as you stare back into those deep irises, the small bit of golden light that shines through the small bathroom window illuminating in an ominously heavenly ray.
his hand settles on the crook of your shoulder and neck, sliding gently upwards as you nod your head defiantly, pushing as far as you can to see when he'll snap. his eyes glisten in temptation; daring you to act up more. 
raising your brows, you try to play like it's obvious, "waking up and complaining about your headaches, old man?" you tut gently, shaking your head innocently. "I don't think it's my fault that you fucked me twice, immediately passed out and now your head hurts when you've woken up the next morning. you know better than to push yourself in your old age, Joel. that's stupid." you add coyly, knowing it'll push him over the edge - he loves it when you act like a brat, no matter how much he denies it. 
his response is immediate and exactly what you'd hoped for. 
he's on you in a split second - hand sliding from your shoulder to grip your throat, pushing you back onto the wall of the bathroom. the towel bar digs into your middle-back slightly and you gasp in arousal at the force of his body on yours. you can feel his cock, hard and straining in his boxers, as it presses into your lower stomach. 
"y'wanna play like that, baby?" he growls, "why you fuckin' around with an old man like me, then?" he asks.
your face heats up, arousal flooding your core, your cunt slowly wetting itself at the purr of his voice - the meaner the words, the larger the flame. 
"hm?" he gently pushes, raising his brows as his hand squeezes gently on your throat, nudging you against the wall further; your gasp is slightly rasped under the pressure, your whole body screaming with desire. this is what you love - mean, angry, hungry Joel Miller. "'s it because nobody fucks you like I do, is that it?"
his knee slides between yours, wedging himself high up, rubbing suddenly against your aching pussy, the material of your cotton already soaked with a damp spot that rubs against his thick thigh. 
"Joel, fuck-" you groan, already willing to just do what you can to get him to touch you. his hand on your throat tightens at your word, thigh rutting up to slide against your needy clit, your hips bucking at the feeling. "-'s because nobody else is so easy." your fiery mouth betrays your body; the snarky comment snaps his eyes to yours, a dark breath leaving his lips. 
"that's ironic," he snaps, "comin' from someone who begged me to fuck them for hours." 
your face burns at the memory of the first time you and Joel'd hooked up; your desperate voice hoarse from pleading him to fuck you - out in the middle of the woods, a sleeping bag that, by the end, had rips on it from rocks and twigs and the force of his thrusts; the shyness gone from either of you as your touches made up for all the silence between you.
he hums lowly, watching you as you swallow at the memory, his thigh rutting up again and pulling a yelp of pleasure from your lips. "y'don't feel so high 'n mighty when I fuck you stupid, right baby?" he asks, voice dripping with condescendence as he nods gently, encouraging you to answer him. your core throbs at his words, your mouth going dry. 
his hand leaves your throat; you swallow a gulp of air, staring with wide eyes as he grasps your jaw roughly. "answer me." 
"n-no, I don't." you mutter, voice sounding small; the arousal that pulses through your veins begs your mouth to be smart, do what Joel says so he'll give in to what you want. 
he smirks, hands roughly grabbing the thick of your hips and flipping you around to press you against the counter, your hips bending as he shoves himself just behind you. your eyes meet yourself and his own hawkish gaze in the mirror in front of you; your heated breath fogs up the mirror in the faint morning light. 
his fingers thread through your hair, tugging you back again as he tilts your head back. his upside down face, smirking down at you, has your thighs clenching - "open." he orders, voice stern. 
your tongue sticks out and he wastes no time spitting roughly onto your tongue, moving your head back to stare into the mirror; his eyes meet yours as his spit slides over your tongue and his furrowed brows twitch with a slight smirk. "look at you, doin' what I tell you. now swallow it and say thank you." 
your core flutters at his words deliciously as you do as you're told; swallowing, you take a breath and mutter, "thank you," - though it's more breathless than you expected, Joel seems to approve. he hums, "there are those manners," he mutters into your ear, cock pressing against the swell of your ass. "almost seemed like you'd forgotten you had them." 
"didn't forget." you mutter, face heating up as your pussy aches, fluttering around nothing and desiring for his fingers, his cock - anything. 
one rough palm slides his shirt up your torso, exposing your bare tits to both of you through the mirror. with his face stooped down near your neck, a short inhale of your hair before his hand reaches it's destination - your throat. 
"then why're you actin' up?" he rasps, teeth grazing your shoulder. he squeezes his hand again and your eyes roll back in pleasure, arousal soon slicking your thighs as you think you may die from all the teasing. "you don't wanna cum?" 
your eyes widen, breath halting as you shake your head, "wh- no- no!" you hiss, "I do want to cum, please." 
his other hand raises, slapping your breast harsh and quick; your gasp of shock tapers off into a whine of pleasure, your nipples hard in arousal as his palm comes to soothe over the sting. 
"then why're you acting like this?" he asks again, shaking his head. another slap, this time to your other breast. his eyes follow the skin of your chest; the way you gasp, your whines at the slight stinging and the pleasure that follows. fingers pinch your nipples, teasing in circles before another sharp slap echoes through the room. "just a little brat, y'can't help yourself." he decides, biting on your neck lightly. 
you can feel him rut against you hard, grinding his hips as he lets out a short groan. you let out a low moan, whining slightly when he smacks your tits again, skin glowing with the impact. his eyes meet yours in the mirror. "quit the whinin'," he grunts, rutting his hard cock against your ass, "you'll be stuffed full of me soon enough." he grunts, "then we'll see who's dumb." 
your shaky moan sounds more like a groan, elbows falling to steady yourself as Joel releases your throat, tossing you forward to grab your hips instead. he pulls you back, grinding into you as his head tilts back in how own small groan of pleasure. "this ass." Joel grunts to himself as he palms the curve of your ass in both large hands, one falling to smack harsh onto the left. 
you're dripping down the inside of your thighs as he ruts against you twice more; thick fingers soon slide to thumb at the slick wet of your panties. his fingers tease the wet material that's glued to your pussy with need, tracing over your lips lightly over the fabric. "pretty pussy, just for me." he mutters; you nod, looking up at him through the mirror, "all for you, Joel." you affirm, voice shaking with anticipation. 
"you gonna be good when I fill you up, baby?" he lifts his brow, stern look as he palms himself. fuck, he's so sexy behind you like this, his thumb slowly dragging the material of your panties to the side and exposing your weeping cunt; you nod, "yes, I'll do anything-" 
you're cut off by a sharp gasp as the stretch of his cock's head cuts off your brain. he eases in gently at first which you're more than grateful for - no matter how many times Joel fucks you, his size is always something you have to adjust to; especially after your rounds last night left you barely able to walk straight. 
he lets out a breath, "there y'go, baby, take me." he says it surprisingly gently, easing in inch by inch as you breathe deeply, your soaked pussy easing his cock through your channels. his cock is heavy and aching as he slides into you, sheathing you fully within another few seconds - Joel's hands grip so hard on your ass, splaying you open for him, that you think his fingers will remain there for days. 
he's still only for a moment, letting you accommodate to his size before he's leaning forward to press his chest to your back, "gonna fuck you stupid, baby." 
"please, Joel," you groan, cunt fluttering, begging him to move. "do it." 
it's all that he needs before he's setting a pace that has you whining under him, your breath choking as you brace yourself agains the counter of the sink. 
it's bliss. his hips are sharp, the reach of his cock pressing against the spongy spot inside you, dragging against your pulsing walls. "fuck, so deep-" you hiss, eyes closing in pleasure as he presses himself against you, hips surely going to bruise against the thrusts that shove you into the countertop. 
one hand sneaks over your front, grasping at your tits as his cock reaches up into you deeply. he lets out a grunt, "fuckin'- christ, you're s-so tight," he grunts, "even after fuckin' you all night." 
you moan, the quick bout of his praise causing you to squeeze around him, trapping him in your aching desire. the both of you moan at the feeling and suddenly one hand presses on your spine until you're low to the counter. his hands grab your shoulders, fingers curling around the base of your throat as he changes his pace to hard and rough, the sound of your ass against his hips nearly hitting your ears over your cries of pleasure. 
the noises of your arousal swallowing his cock echo around the room in a familiar, comforting chorus as you both let out shuttering moans; his strong arms pull you back until you're once again pressed against his broad chest. his breath fans over your neck and you whine slightly when his thrusts press you up onto your tip-toes. his lips find your ear, "how's that feel?" your hole flutters from the deepness in his voice - he groans at the feeling. 
your response is a whine of ecstasy as you claw at his forearms, head tilting back until you can almost feel his erratic heartbeat. his chest rumbles with a light chuckle, "look, barely took ya any time to get fucked out on my cock," he praises, hand petting your wild hair, "knew you'd be good for me. always take what I give you, right?" 
you nod, desperate to reach the climax that's easily built within you from the stretch of him deep in you and his voice in your ear. your clit aches from being ignored and your hand snakes down to rub light circles on it; your hips jolt as you gasp raggedly, eyes fluttering shut in pleasure. 
"no." he growls, hand grabbing your jaw sternly as he pounds into you, "when I'm fuckin' you, you keep your eyes on me." he snaps, squeezing your cheeks. "'s that clear?"
you nod in the mirror, whines getting louder as his name falls nearly incoherently from your lips- you see his lips ghost over your neck, the smirk that spreads over his pink lips as you finally get out a strangled, "Joelpleaseplease- s'close-" 
he knows what you need; you and Joel are each other's best escape. he pistons into you hard, chasing your high as he feels it spasming close around him. "easy, huh?" he snarls, hips just as harsh as his words, eyes sharp on yours. "who's easy, baby - me, or the one beggin' like a slut to cum on my cock?" 
for someone so quiet and closed off, Joel Miller has never shied away from using his goddamn words when he's fucking you, that's for sure. his words, his accent - they push you towards the edge and it almost distracts you from his question. his eyebrows raise in the silence as you gasp for words, moans choked  as his fingers slide down from your jaw to squeeze your throat. 
"look at'cha, can't even speak for me," he groans, his hand suddenly snaking down to smack your away from your clit; two larger, calloused fingers replace your shaky ones and you wail at the stimulation, almost too much.
you blink up at him through the mirror, unable to speak, unable to think as you feel the crest of something incredibly blissful growing; you let out a whine of ecstasy. "I'm- I'm easy," you concede, finally able to spit your words out, your voice higher than normal in your pleasure. 
Joel nods, kissing your sweaty hairline, "'s goddamn right you are, babygirl," he hisses, "easy for me. this pretty little pussy is mine, isn't it?" 
you scream, "yours, Joel-" before he barely finishes the sentence.
with your words, he smiles against your neck - the feeling of it sends goosebumps over your whole torso. "you're a lucky girl," he growls in your ear, teeth brushing the shell before licking it gently, "you can cum." 
you barely realize you've hit your orgasm until you’re writhing - a white-hot, searing arousal streaking your vision as your eyes roll back. he fucks you steadily through your orgasm, your thighs closing slightly around his large palm, but his fingers don't stop their motions on your clit. 
you shake and stutter for gasps as he pounds into you, chasing his own high that's been spurred - by your own words or the clenching of your orgasm around him, you're unsure. 
"love how you feel-" he groans, voice weakening as he nears his own orgasm, hips sloppy as he pushes your face down, against the cool tile of the bathroom sink. "fuck, baby, made to take this cock." 
his sentences are choppy, his gasps and grunts of pleasure mixing with the slap of your ass against him as he thrusts, your legs tired as he fills you full and then suddenly pulls out. you gasp at the suddenness of his absence, turning to look at him as if betrayed - but he looks completely gone, eyes dark with need. "gonna cum on your tits, sweetheart." 
your stomach flips at the word - one he's never used before - and you relax into his harsh grip, moving down to the ground on your knees as he grunts, "take this shit off now." 
his shirt is on the ground in half a second, your breasts bare to him as he fists his cock, eyes on you and lidded with pleasure. your hands fall onto his strong thighs, looking up at him in awe as he fists his cock, slick with your sticky spend, tip flushed and veins stretching over the shaft. "please, cum on me, want it so bad, Joel," you whine - his hand caresses your jaw and slips over your lips, sticking his thumb into your mouth. you suck eagerly and he moans your name deep, head tilting back in ecstasy. 
"fuck," he grunts, slipping his thumb out of your mouth before you can even swirl your tongue around it, and then he's hitting his orgasm.
ropes of his cum land on your tits, a small bit gathering on your chin as he slows his hand, letting out a few sharp breaths. he's barely caught his breath before your fingers are gathering a swipe of his thick cum, bringing it to your mouth. his dark eyes follow you through his labored breaths as you slowly suck his spend off of your fingers, "fuckin'- pretty," he mumbles into his hand as he runs a palm over his face, shaking his head. 
you smile, cheeks heating up. the sun is rising and the room is fully golden, bouncing off the mirror and illuminating his tan skin, the scars on his body and yours. he's pretty, you realize. 
you tell him so, quietly - in the silence of the bathroom. his scowl softens and you swear you see a blush forming as he rolls his eyes down at you from where you perch on the linoleum. 
Joel always says you only tell him sweet things to get him to fuck you - but in the afterglow of your actions, you catch sight of your makeup-stained pillowcase back in Joel's bedroom and it makes you grin. you know he doesn't wash it for a reason, the same reason you keep coming back to him. 
and you also know that the way he smooths his thumb over your hairline, the way your own hands in turn soothe over his thighs - those actions, they make up for everything else that's unspoken.
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taglist: @satansgoatt @elissaaa @queerponcho @bbyanarchist @lapricot @umavvitch @asreadbyaj @dinsbaby @cottoncandytomu @onmytallesttiptoess @switchbladedreamz @missannwinchester @abs-2020 @afandomidiot @cosm1c-babe @rogersbarnesxx @carleenphillips-blog @bonnibuckets @nightlovechild @jazzyspasms @girlboybug @cannolighost @pastelnap @userpedros @feministfanboi @frogers @grhowls @daddy-din @gothoppered @totallynotastanacc @robbatlover @casssiopeia @wannab-urs @redhotkitchen @joelapologist2001 @silkiers
message me if i forgot to tag u. i was pretty lazy with this one sorry. requests are open.
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rzyraffek · 1 year
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I have a little smut request, if you don't like or don't want to write I understand that's alright.
When slashers are take a shower then S/O suddenly get in
Bo please must have him, I love this man too much, and Vincent, Lester, Brahms, Thomas, or other slashers you want to write. (or you think I pick too much you can pick some, but please Bo must thank you so much❤️)
I just think this will be fun
Oh, btw, I very love your work so perfect so wonderful so amazing❤️❤️❤️
Yall really love Sinclair's😭😭 ALSO THANK YOU V MUCH IM GLAD YALL ENJOY MY BLOG!!!! Before you read that I need to remind yall that I DONT USUALLY WRITE NSFW STUFF SO DONT EXPECT ANYTHING GREAT HERE!! Request open
Nsfw, but nothing too detailed, they/them pronouns for s/o
Shower zegz with slashers
Bo Sinclair
Our guy will make sure that they will remember that shower for long time
Yknow when you just vibe in shower and you accidently touch cold wall with your back and get all cold and upset? Yeah if s/o has the same problem.. too bad he doenst care they are getting pinned to that wall in seconds anyways
He loves seeing their face, how they react to his actions and words, how their body moves because of him
Will comment A LOT, expect a lot of praising, some cruse words and alot of growls tbh
He marks them 100% one way or another. Bite marks, Hickeys ( alot of them), ect
Afterwards he gonna bring them a towel and make sure they can go to bedroom and rest there for a while. This guy isn't the best at aftercare but he isn't heartless!
Vincent
No bcs he will blush sososo hard😨😳
Like they have to make first move cuz this guy will just stand there awkwardly looking like he has stick up his ass
He gonna be so gentle with them💖 carefully grabbing their hips/hair and enjoying the view moment
Tbh he loves grabbing their hair and vice versa, if s/o is touchy he gonna be sosos blushy
Also afterward he gonna wash their hair probably🥰 making sure they at least get out of this shower clean lol
Brahms Heelshire
Nah bcs this guy will be the one to actually pull them into shower, like s/o was just vibing doing their skincare routine and this guy just grabbed them and yeeted them into shower
He gonna act like he just wants to spent time together🙄🙄 yeah totally
Pls make sure that s/o calls him good boi or he gonna bite them
Also ngl he probably looks sexy asf with wet hair
Incredibly affectionate, yall will be extremely close to each other for the whole thing. And expect him to wisper and growl into s/o year
Thomas Hewitt
This babi will be soso confused??? Like???? Oh you wanna shower together?? Yeah sure ig I don't mind???
Again s/o has to do first move cuz he won't even think about asking them about that type of stuff! Hes a gentleman he would neverr.. unless they ask him ofc
S/o gonna forgor how to walk for few hours at least
He just gonna pick them up and pin them to wall like s/o weights nothing (tbh it doesnt really matter how much they weight this guy picked up adult men and whooped other one at the same time without any struggle, really dont worry)
He cant really tell them how he feels so he just gonna gently pat them or nuzzle them.
He will feel bad afterwards when their legs shake or when they can't really walk 😓
Micheal Myers
Tbh the only reason he showed was bcs they promised him that he will get reward later. Fr this guy stinks
Sex with him is incredibly akward. He doenst make any noise nor shows any kind of affection? Maybe he gonna carry them to bed afterwards or bring them towel?? Like this guy never heard about aftercare, or care overall tbh
He will never show it but he loves when s/o gives him affection or tells him nice words, how good he is and how great his doing his job rn
Not my proudest one! I really suck at nsfw stuff sorry😓😓 also I had nightmare and there was Bo for some reason ?? But he had heavy cowboy-texas accent ??? Idk why. Anyways its 2am yall have great rest of day
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
Text
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#weird day. really weird day#i couldnt sleep v well bc my brain was fucked up and i was prob dehydrated so im like extremely out of focus#i did go to the health and wellness center and am now back in therapy which is why my day was so fucking wild. like im too tired so im not#opperating correctly but it was real weird. like last time i got assessed by someone who basically sorted me to a therapist according to my#problems. this time i just kinda stumbled into a 1st session with someone and i dont kno how to feel abt how it went. it was odd#like we didnt go thru like an entire thing of like what r all ur problems? it was more i started talking abt things and he got stuck on#some specific things i said and we talked abt that. which im of 2 minds abt bc he did instantly latch onto the root of some of my issues#which is that i feel fucking dumb all the time bc my brain works a little different but it also wasnt helpful bc like theres a stereotypic#verson of my experience and then theres what i actually went thru and those things dont align in the way he was talking abt it. like i#think were were just talking past eachother a bit. like he wasn't exactly wrong but i do feel a bit like i walked in with an open wound and#and he decided the best course of action was to pat me on the head and tell me im v smart so i walked out still bleeding. but i dont think#its was all bad bc it got under my skin so much. i react like a cat thrown in a bath if u try to call me smart. like fuck off. yes ok im#smart. i have a certified document saying that i have above average intelligence. big fucking whoop. im too fucking dyslexic to do anything#right and my brain is constantly trying to strangle me to death. he called me a gifted kid. fuck u i was too fucking dyslexic to b a gifted#kid. stop talking abt the positive aspects of the compulsive way i live my life when its literally strangling me to death and i want it to#stop. acknowledge my pain old man. also i hate thst therapists hate the word weird. its not a bad word i like that word. i disagree#fundamental with the assertion that its bad. also he pointed out that i talk like a freak. like a person with high intelligence. fuck u i#like words. i will peel my own skin off if u call me smart one more time. lol i was so mad. i argued with him like the whole time. also he#mentioned horoscopes which was weird but whatever. we'll see how the next one goes. i told him to his face i i didnt kno if what we talked#abt was helpful. possibly the rudest ive ever been to a stranger lol. well see how the next session goes. at least it was interesting#god. im fucking so tired and wrung out.#unrelated
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carmyboobear · 1 month
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Idk if you've written this but can you write about carmy and the reader arguing and he makes her cry? Idk I just feel like thatd be good angst fluff lol
AHH I got carried away as per usual. anyway this is good stuff. wrote a bunch. enjoy!!
word count: 1.3k
tags: traumatized carmy, mentally ill carmy and reader, arguing, language, HURT/COMFORT, ANGST/FLUFF, carmy being a sweetie
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Hm…i'm spending a lot of time thinking about the set-up for this. Carmy is a very careful person when it comes to those he’s romantically involved in, but at the same time, he has a hard time controlling his temper when he's in the darkness, as i'll put it. 
here's something awful i think about that i wanna write about. carmy's stressed about work, because of course he is. he's carmy. his head is whirring, spinning with anxiety and self-hatred. i think you're just like him. mentally ill for mentally ill if you will. you're also in a bad mood, and he comes home from The Bear exhausted and keyed up.
“I hate when you push me away like this,” you admit. You've been trying to get him to talk to you since he's been home. Maybe he just needs space, but separation makes you anxious. Especially when he shuts down. 
“I'm sorry that it's so hard for you,” he spits, finally snapping and turning to face you. You've followed him into the dark bedroom, lit only by the harsh moonlight through the window. You flinch. You never quite get used to seeing him like this. 
“I—I just—“ you feel pressure beginning in the back of your eyes. You will it away. “How can I help you if you don’t talk to me?”
“Why do you care so much? Does it make you feel better to take care of someone more fucked up than you?” He snaps, voice raised. His words go down bitter, leaving an awful taste in your mouth. Something in you shatters.
“How could you ask me that?” Your vision’s gone hot and blurry. “I’m your partner. I love you, that’s why I care, you asshole!” You’re stifling sobs. You hate crying in fights like this, but it hurts. You can’t help it.
“Fuck,” Carmy mutters under his breath. He’s gone still in your blurred vision. “Baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that—“
“That was so fucked up, Carmy.” You move to sit on the bed, trying to wipe your tears away, but they keep coming. “What’s your problem?”
“You know what my problem is.” His remorse has swept away the anger, leaving him quiet before you. He leans down at your knees, hands on your thighs. “I shouldn’t have said that. Any of that.”
“You shouldn’t have.” Carmy nods quickly, and he raises a hand to your wet cheeks. “Fuckin’ asshole.”
“I know.” He takes your pain, your anger in its entirety. His other hand brings your knuckles to his lips. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.“
“Sure sounded like you meant it.” Anger flares up in your chest, hurt and betrayed, but you tamp it down, leaning into his hand cradling his face. You take a deep breath to steady yourself. “Damnit, Carmy.”
“I know. I know.” He’s still kissing your hand. “You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve you.” You hate it when he talks like this, because you can tell he really believes it.
“Don’t say that. Please.” 
“But it’s true.” You look down at him in the moonlight, at his sad blue eyes. “I always find ways to hurt you. I…”
“That’s what being in a relationship is, Carm.” You pat the space next to you. “Sit with me?”
“I keep having to remind myself of that.” He sinks into the bed next to you. “I’m so sorry for talking about you like that. Like you’re only doing this out of…I don’t know. Obligation.” He drags a hand across his tired face. “You don’t deserve that. I’m sorry. I just, I just think that—that I’m—fuck—“
“Slow down, Carm,” you say quietly. “It’s okay. You don’t need to force it. I’m listening.” He smiles bitterly at you, and you recognize the love in it easily. He takes in a deep breath before continuing. 
“I still have a hard time believing that anyone cares about me. I can’t even believe that you—love me.” You can practically see the shame rolling off of him in waves. “And it makes me scared.”
“Love is scary, isn’t it?” You say softly. He just nods. “It scares me, too. That’s why I kept pestering you when you got home. I…” You blink quickly. You don’t wanna cry again. “It scares me when I don’t know what you’re thinking. Because…I dunno. It just does.”
“Yeah?” You nod. He has this thoughtful expression that he holds for a moment as he stews on your words. “I didn’t think about it like that. I’m sorry. I think…I think when you kept asking me if I was okay, it…” he sighs, scratches at his temples. “I felt like I was…getting back into a corner. I think.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.” You take his hand in yours. “I can see how that must’ve felt really bad.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault that I’m like this. I think—I think it just reminded me of my mom. We would always ask her if she was okay, because she’s fucking crazy, yknow? We didn’t wanna step on her toes. But it turns out we did anyway. And the way I acted just now, I was just like…” He can’t even get the words out. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, voice choked with emotion. “I love you. So much. You know that, right?”
“You tell me everyday. How could I not?” You pull him into a hug, tight and warm, and he instantly wraps his arms around you. “You’re not your mom, Carm. You're nothing like her. Okay?” 
“I don’t wanna be like her,” he whispers. “I don’t wanna be like her.”
“You’re not,” you remind him softly. “And you won’t be.”
Carmy leans back to look at you, but he remains close. His expression is knotted with pain. You run your thumb over his furrowed brow, and it makes his mouth curve upwards in a smile. It’s fleeting, but it was there. 
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I’ll try to open up more. Let you know what I’m thinking.”
Suddenly, you think about when you first started dating Carmy. He was so scared to open up to you emotionally, but with gentle prodding, he fell apart instantly. There was a hunger in him to be known by others, to be seen by you, and it scared him to death. You see that same fear in him now, but you also see how much he’s grown since then. You doubt you would’ve been able to have this conversation at all in the first couple months. 
That makes you happy in a way you’re not quite able to word properly.
“Thank you. But I hope you also know I don’t want to force you. I just wanna help. And…” You measure your words carefully. “I’ll try not to let it freak me out so much. Because if you’re not in the mood to talk, I want you to know that’s okay. Okay?”
“Okay. I’d like that. If I don’t want to talk, I’ll just tell you. Instead of…blowing a fuse.” He laughs dryly. 
“I’d like that too.” You let out an exhale of relief you didn’t realize you were holding. “Wow, Carm. Look at us. Communicating!”
“I know.” That makes him laugh for real this time, and you’re laughing too. “I couldn’t do it without you.”
“I think you could. But I certainly like doing it with you.” His smiles grows wider at that, brimming with affection. 
“Let me make this up to you, baby.” He pulls you in for a kiss, slow and deep. You let out a little noise when his lips meet yours. 
“Make it up to me?” Carmy’s tongue is on your neck now. Oh. “Aren’t you tired? You—you have work tomorrow—?”
“Don’t care.” You fall back onto the bed, and the blankets deflate under you. You stare up at Carmy, his curls hanging by his face. “You’re more important.”
“Well, if you insist…” You giggle, and your giggles get louder when Carmy pulls up your shirt to blow raspberries against your stomach. “Carmy, quit it—oh—!”
He makes it up to you in full and more by keeping his head between your legs for the rest of the night. By the end of it you can't remember what you were mad about in the first place.
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