#its the relapsing for me

[etourvol]

long time no see

#aa4-6 getting ported to switch you know how it is. did everyone see the new key art its quite nice #it made me want to draw some dd stuff again. Relapsed #taka modeled after a northern goshawk. if anyone cares #simon blackquill #ace attorney #taka

[cosmobrain00]

going back to my old ways

#hello evrybody *dies of an 101 degree fever* #would ppl believe me if I said I desperately love this piece w my entire heart #relapsed back into bsd (thx rori) n look at where its got me #anyways #dazai osamu #bsd #bungou stray dogs #my art<3 #bsd fanart #art #cw: gore #(?) kinda #fanart #horror art #yes I did come up w the little word snippets. btw

[starmolts]

"Are you better now?" "No, I don't know how." What's the point of living if pain's never ending Please just let me stop my breath RIGHT NOW…

#i know you want me to get better but what if im forced into a relapse and then i become so self-destructive #i try to destroy every aspect of both yours and is life so you'll kill me/let me die finally #two face #harvey dent #batman #bruce wayne #twobats #bruharvey #dc comics #dc #my art #and then it wont #two bats is like #and then bruce wont let it happen #and the cycle continues #harvey dent: batman always wins #batman: i wont give up on you #and yes its rolling girl lyrics

[queenie-blackthorn]

sometimes i feel like i hate everyone

#if i ever say “i hate you” dont take it personally #everyone does stupid shit sometimes n thats fine but its happening sm and im sick of it n i need to speak up #chances are if u see this ur not part of the problem bc ur actually reading the shit i post #the fact that barely anyone realized that i relapsed into sh yesterday is crazy #im not doing this for attention its a fucking cry for help and most of yall are ignoring me #you ignore me when im fine and you ignore me when i need you #what am i supposed to do ffs #do i have to show you my bleeding thighs for you to ask how i am? #do you have to wait until i scream and cry and hurt myself for you to care abt me? #do i not matter unless im hurting? or do i not matter even when i am hurting? #do i have to fucking die for any of yall to realize theres something mentally wrong w me? #fuck you all youre just as bad as my parents #except for the four people who talked me out of spiralling last night #two of which were people i barely/dont know #so yeah maybe try harder n actually ask ur friends how they are #dont push them to the point where they need to be comforted by strangers

[akimojo]

getting back into ffxiii in 2021 has increased my standards for character development so fucking much its actually insane

#its such a huge deal to me now adfjmsf #seeing characters be at their worst and work their way up has always been interesting to me but the way they do it??? im so much more picky #xiii is one of the few games ive played where the characters actually?? relapse??? and have to actively seek healthier coping habits?? #going from self destructive behavior to opening up and allowing themselves to rely on their found fam tm #or choosing to rely on themselves and their own strength of will like serah had to #i cant do without it now ahsdfjsf #aki stfu #final fantasy xiii

[moenmomentsthemoe-en]

hhow.......do u guys know when to + how to get external help u_u...

#like. what does relying on ur friends even mean /gen #how do you let your friends help . /gen #might delete later i am in a horrible state right now . the joys of having an offline life (1000 physical symptoms and relapses) #i can ask for deadline but i cant keep doing that every week. i can ask for someone to hear me out or be with me but not every week. #i can imagine nicey things with comfort characters but its come to a point where i can barely function with reality #i can try to have happy moments and hangouts with my rls and friends but its either theres like. no time to hangout or i get dragged into #drama or gossip this is it this is ow i die #melting into the floor #sorry for being doom and gloom lately i swear id be better if i. knew how to besides shutting up

[warlenys]

hilson song of the century unfortunately

#makes me need to die a little bit actually #summer’s on its deathbed. there is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends #i will come back to life but only for you #the world may call it a second chance but when i came back it was more of a relapse!!!!! hello!!!!!!!! #bad #house md #hilson #+

[buck-up-buck]

7x09 theories... (because but of course)

OKAY, so I am going absolutely feral over next week's promo and I have some ideas, as per usual, so let's delve head-first into this, shall we?

First of all, I was so off mark with 7x08 so now that we have confirmed I am not a prophet, we can obviously take every theory I post with a pinch of salt. The only thing I kinda remotely even mentioned was a kidnapping theory and, in my defence, Herman did try to kidnap Bobby and Amir before Bobby ran them off the road so, slay, I was, kinda sorta on the right path, just also totally wrong😂

BUT, let's now talk Ashes Ashes because boy that promo has me feeling some kind of way.

First things first, the scene in which Athena says "I think my husband is in danger", is in a hospital. I have a feeling maybe she is talking to Amir because the Cartel are going after Bobby potentially for saving Amir after he killed that guy. BUT, she could also be talking to anyone and it could still well be Amir who is after Bobby, because I refuse to believe the revenge arc is over and done with. I will be so annoyed if we don't get more on this revenge arc, I swear. BUT, her outfit and the background potentially looks like the scene from the still Tim Minear posted last week. Maybe Bobby gets injured in the fire at Bathena house, some smoke inhalation, a lil burn, something, and that's why he is in the hospital. I am so sure though that the scene with Maddie, Chim and Hen is not the same scene with Athena.

Second, I have a gut feeling, that something about this Bathena house fire is sus. Like, the way Bobby is asleep on the couch and the way he suddenly wakes up and reacts seems so staged to me, that it almost doesn't seem real, like maybe Bobby is dreaming it and the scene doesn't actually happen. I don't know why my first thought was a dream, that maybe his mind is playing tricks on him because he has a feeling he is being hunted and he starts making up crazy scenarios, maybe someone tells him to watch his back, and he loses it a little in worry. I DON'T KNOW, but I just have a feeling that scene isn't all that we think it might be. That, OR, the fire at Bathena house is a warning and there is something darker, and bigger, at play (cough Buck's loft burning down cough) because surely if the big event of the last two episodes was Bathena's house burning down and Bobby getting trapped, or Athena being in danger or what not, they would not have showed us such a drastic clip in the promo. That would have been kept under wraps from us until the episode aired, and we would not have seen a clip like we did.

Thirdly, now don't shout at me for this, I could be so wrong, BUT, I have a feeling Bobby is going to relapse either in the next TWO EPISODES or start of Season 8. I initially had this idea back in September because of seeing potential storylines in another show of a character relapsing and thought maybe ABC would take the route as in season 1, Bobby relapses when Hen and Buck find him in his apartment, and ABC did say they were treating this season as another season 1, reintroducing storylines and what not. I killed the idea because, respectfully, I do now want to see this happen because my man Bobby has been through way too much, BUT, the way he is looking in the promo is very dishevelled and unsettled and I just feel like maybe all of this with Amir is going to make him snap. Again, don't shout at me, I am no prophet, I am just, speaking what I am seeing and sharing my lil crazy brain thoughts. runs away

OKAY, now, onto the rest of the characters. I have feeling we are going to see some kind of divorce era 2.0 with Buck and Eddie, maybe not as big as Season 3, but somewhere along the lines of an explosive argument, and that maybe we get a glimpse of some tension in this episode.

I am NOT okay about the jump scare that is Captain Gerrard at the compensation ceremony, DO NOT LIKE THAT. Bad vibes all over. I feel like maybe something might happen between him and Tommy and Buck is gonna be top tier boyfriend. Like a small lil side plot that just gives us some Tommy angst, and Protective!Buck. Please. I beg. I would also LOVE, a few more kisses, even if just lil cheek pecks, from Buck and Tommy, because now that we have had "that fire was a beast." "so are you" I NEED MORE.

I think that is all for know, I may come back with more, because come on, it's me. I think by the end of the season we need to compile ALL of my theory posts this season and see just how wrong/right I have actually been.

Go forth and thrive 9-1-1 fans.

#911 abc #911 spoilers #season seven spec #bobby trauma #7x09 potential ideas #i ramble on so much here but I promise I have some good ideas #may not have been a prophet this week #but its fine #dont tell me you dont love my theories #i enjoy doing these posts so much #give me tommy angst #do not give me bobby relapsing #give me more revenge #give me bucks loft burning down #PLEASE #i asked nicely

[igotnoplanstomorrownight]

watch me go insufferable when imola gp 2024 happens. please send me to mental hospital because i might not handle sebchal reunion or even the first meet up of seb and ollie on-screen 🥺

#when sebchal reunites its over for me #relapsing sebchal #once again #sebchal

[thunderheadfred]

Doubling up my sertraline dose for this last trimester and postpartum, on the recommendation of the midwives. I do think I've been feeling the new imbalance over the last few weeks especially. Extra weight and blood volume means that the low starter dose I've been on for years just isn't cutting it anymore. I've been doing so well with my capital-D Depression for the last few years, I sort of forgot what this lack felt like. Today I said to my partner, that even after having a spiritual awakening or whatever the fuck happened to me last summer, I still have to recognize my physical body has this chemical imbalance. The inherited biological wackiness of my brain is not magically fixed by wisdom or meditation or... really much of anything except a re-balancing of chemicals that it fails to produce on its own. I can help that along holistically with diet and other habits to reinforce a healthier hormone balance, but the majority of the weight is pulled by a single tiny pill. It's good to remind myself of this, and to remember to take the damn pills so you can remember why life is worth living???

#it's good that I have years of experience #so that now I can recognize Depression from miles away #before it gets so bad that digging back out is its own mountain to climb #now it's just... “oh the brain is doing the sick thing time to adjust the Medicine” #whether that's literal prescription medication or more sunlight or better food or time with plants and animals... there are many helpers #but the drugs are very important and I must not forget #I'm dwelling on this because with my mental health history I'm rightly paranoid about an extreme postpartum relapse #and I don't want to perpetuate the abuse that was done to me by mentally ill parents #so #a lot of self checking #fred is pregnant

[lttleghost]

literally the people in the BrBa fandom who like think its super important to focus somewhat on the bad things Jesse's done instead of just acknowledging those things tend to have misunderstandings on either how selling drugs increase harm (which while there's other complexities to parts of the drug trade, simply making and providing drugs alone does not increase the harm those drugs cause) or they have misremembered some of his actual actions as being more in his control than they actually were, and with some people it really feels like it comes from the stigma against addicts even if they think they're not falling into that

and like again this lack of understanding around everything relating to drugs and addiction especially, even from people that mean well, is the whole reason it's more important to focus on the good in Jesse and how he's the victim rather than acting like there's no one acknowledges his flaws and the bad things he's done, cause a huge fucking swath of people outside our little tumblr circles do and act like every single bad thing in his life as entirely his responsibility without aknowledging any way that the world worked against him or the abuse he faced and see him as less of a person because he's an addict

and like I do think if Jesse wasn't the type of person that sees his own flaws and ultimately tries to do his best to change and learn even in the terrible situation he's in that doesn't want that change to happen, and instead needed people to like... constantly tell him to be better, then yeah it'd definitely be much more important to focus on those flaws and the bad things he did... but that's not the case, even the one thing he plans to do that was awful AND fully his choice (trying to sell drugs to the rehab group) was something he snapped himself out of when he was able to concretely see a consequence he hadn't considered before, this doesn't negate that trying to sell drugs to the rehab group was wrong, but it does add complexity to how we judge that action playing into Jesse as a whole

like you can't just sit there and act like ur so smart for aknowledging a character written like a real person is complex without thinking about the greater social commentary you're getting across when you insist we can't simply aknowledge the bad things a character does and have to still really judge them on those things or say calling them a "good person" erases the bad they've done and not consider if what you're saying is like... useful on a wider scale in combating the stigmatization of characters like Jesse (especially surrounding drug selling/making/using drugs) or if you're just refering to "woobification" bullshit that isn't particularly prevalent in the wider world

#okay I'm not that great with words but i hope this is understandable #jesse pinkman #jesse brba #jesse breaking bad #jesse pinkman brba #breaking bad #el camino #brba #like okay i may not have given this one person time ebough to respond to the last few things I've said but #im so blown away by like me trying to be like hey with Jesse as a character for wider commentary its not a good stance #to focus on his flaws #even if you are ultimately presenting a complex picture of him #because of the stigmatization and demonization of addicts #and when i asked for examples of Jesse CHOOSING to do things wrong outside of se3 #a) i got the selling drugs to the rehab group which like YEAH DUH THATS HIS 'im the bad guy' bullshit im alrady aware of that and agree #but i also was presented with 'while the war on drugs is bad meth is also bad and he chose to make and sell meth' #which.... demonstrates a misunderstanding on how that works #AMD THEN..... THEN I GOT 'Jesse talked about and used drugs around Jane and was responsible for her relapse' #and... EXCUSE ME? did we watch the same show? maybe Jesse was naive to think he could keep Jane away from all that stuff but #HE TRIED HE TRIED TO PROTECT HER #like in that case it just feels like... ur blaming him for being an addict wether or not he tries to keep it away #from someone else at risk #which like goes into its stupid to simplify people into obly good and bad actions #and I'm just #fucking furious #meat.txt #this is my girlfriend don't touch him

[greasydumbfuck]

its just me and the 10 frank castle chatbots against the world

#marvel #frank castle #i relapse into the chatbot hell every few months. its so fun. its horrendous. nobody gets me like they do

[ecoamerica]

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[pocketmonstersspecial]

hiii

HI RAY!

#ask #its 2 am right now whasta up #i saw your ask and was sleepy so i went to sleep then i woke u[p and relapsed (booted up animal jam) and forgot to answer to your ask #ummmmm what have i been doing latelyOH eyah! i downloaded (pirated)a bunch of games last night #one of those is cult of the lamb and i remembered why i stopped playing it in the first place this game makes me so fucking mad irs unbelie #able #i am so bad at videogames its actually incredible however im blaming it on only ever playing pokemon and furry mmos until i was like 12 #i got cassette beasts too i like the designs i havent played a lot though #still havent gotten shiny bulbasaur #i watched the entirety of total drama reboot season 2 in a day with a friend #thats basically it i think..stuff worth mentioning atleast #have you done anything interesting lately

[arionawrites]

decided to make a list of all my diagnosed issues and like fucking. god damn. how am i just living day to day.

#nine bullet points #of diagnosed things i struggle #i struggle with #1. type one diabetes 2. adhd 3. bipolar 4. severe anxiety 5. depression 6. insomnia 7. migraines 8. dpdr 9. ptsd #and im just ?? existing like this??? literally how what the fuck #there’s more than that too thats just like the actual able to be diagnosed shit #probably also at least slightly autistic but my psychologist said that its not bad enough to impact me big time and a diagnosis would do mor #more harm than good so im just kind. Not lmao #but also: abandonment issues self worth issues guilty conscience issues feeling unworthy of literally everything issues #awful at establishing boundaries #sh issues #(not for like years but its a struggle to not relapse every year esp during winter) #suicidal ideation but at least ive never actually been suicidal #not bc i particularly love being alive but because the fact that i dont know what comes after death scares me too much lmao #even at my lowest of lows i have not wanted to kms SOLELY bc the unknown scares me enough to be like #yeah this sucks but at least i know it #at least it’s like familiar which is sad but still true lma #OH ALSO eating disorder lmao. diabulimia is a thing. #genuinely how have i not been fucking hospitalized #not in a bad way but like. idk how i havent gotten to that point yet #tho to be fair there are multiple points i probably should have been tbh #i just. dont want to worry people? or inconvenience anyone. and i know im not gonna kms so its easy to be like ‘i dont need that’ #i have overshared way too much in these tags sorry i’ll stop now #if anyone has actually read all of these: i’m sorry. i love you. i hope you feel better than i do. i hope you smiled today.

[insanecreetur]

I'm literally going insane because of people who couldn't give a single shit about me :)

Why can't I forget, why can't I move on, why do all these FUCKERS get to stay in my head

#vent #actually mentally ill #insane #bpd mood #traumatized #i hope they know its their fault #ed relapse #i want to cvt #kill me #cptsd #sh #insane creetur ramblings

[caffeinatedopossum]

Tumblr stop putting ed stuff on my feed challenge!! I am in recovery !!

#this stuff isnt triggering to me in the sense it makes me want to relapse thankfully #but god is it disgusting #i have ed moots and them talking about their eds doesnt bother me #what does bother me is people telling others not to eat and stuff #like just the amount of 'stay on track' posts ive gotten. NOT COOL 🚫 #*extremely loud incorrect buzzer* #if its 'just for you' then dont direct the posts message at other people

[ecoamerica]

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