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gryphis-eyes · 1 year

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⊙ Message from spirits

⊙ Welcome to this very simple but (I hope) useful pick a card, I know its been a while and here is my last attempt to get back to tumblr haha.I don’t have more to say , hope you’ll get the message that will light the fire in your !

⊙ How to pick a pile ? There are differents ways to do it, you can do a little meditation while thinking about the 3 images, you can also use a pendulum, remember to listen to your intuition while chosing and reading the messages those are general reading so not everything will be for you or it will ask you to interpret it based on your situation

◇ Deck used : Rider Waite, Shakespeare Oracle, Phenix Oracle

⊙ Pile 1 : The Cat

Cards ; 3 of cups, 6 of swords R " Tis true. The wheel is come full circle; I am here. ”

One day things go up and one day things go down, such is the nature of Fortuna’s actions. The cards are showing me those 3 muses singing with their cups full of sweet beverage while on the other side of the reading someone is struggling on their boat, going against this raging river’s flow. Some of you seems to be tired of life, you're always fighting, barely resting while other people seems to roam freely through life. Its not fair isn’t it ? I feel like the main issue here is that you're going through a though period and it affect your mental a lot, so of course our brain’s first move is to look at others and be like ”damn look at them, so happy and relaxed while im in this burning house”. Do not throw yourself heartlessly into this path which seems to be the only one, do not look at other, look at you. You might be afraid to do a specific thing (new project ?) Because others seems to do it better or the idea you got already have been done but listen to me ; nobody is doing things better than someone else, succes doesn’t mean its better it just mean it touch more people but it doesn’t mean it is made of quality. That’s why we always got people talking about underated movies, music etc, nothing is better, things are just different. What matter isn’t how amazing you'll do but rather how you will do it because you are not anyone else’s mind, look at the story of the hero with a thousand faces it has been done so so many times in fictions but people dont always realise it, why ? Because all of those fictions have been done by different people so that’s why lord of the ring is so different from star wars. To be honest I was thinking about telling you to go slower but the phenix cards are really telling you to move and just do it ! Be serious about this project wether it mean actually writing a story and publishing it or starting writing it, you got nothing to lose.

⊙ Pile 2 : The Owl

Cards ; 3 of swords R, hangedman ” for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.To me it is a prison. ”

Ive heard ”a haunted heart” part from on the fence by tv girl in mind while reading your cards. I have no contexte about what happened to you but I can tell that it was a wild ride isn t it ? Sit down my dear its time to rest and listen. Whatever happened didnt happen out of the ”univers” cruelty or a ”blessing in disguise” what happened felt like an attack toward you (from your pov) wether its truly the case or not I dont know but I truly think the cards are reminding you to focus on the present since they are hiding the past from me. Do not search for the why, do not search for a blessing coming from it, what was good what was bad do not try to listen to thousand of readers who will tell you how to act (I mostly got those ”forgiveness” speech that every new ager are repeating). You dont need to focus on that past thing you need to focus on yourself and your needs from the present, not the needs you had 5 month ago. You should let your life calm down, put less effort in the world and put more effort for yourself wether its forcing you to have a self care moment or allowing yourself to have a lazy day or just sit down and do nothing but listen to music. The lyrics from ”after the storm” it carry the whole message im trying to give you. Basically, yes what happened suck but its not an excuse to give up on yourself.

⊙ Pile 3 ; The Snake

The lover, 3 of swords R

" The enemy increaseth every day; We, at the height, are ready to decline.There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat; And we must take the current when it serves, Or lose our ventures. "

It's time to risk it all my friend. I have no idea if It's a project, a ritual/spell (I get that most of you are into witchcraft or spiritual thing). See this snake going for the butterfly even if It's small and can avoid the snake’s strike easily, the reptile still go for it. It even look like the snake is using the obstacle in order to jump higher to catch the butterfly. (Idk why I get that you should try to watch samurai champloo). The advice here, is to look at everything that went bad or didn’t work in the past and ask yourself ”why” so now you'll be able to make your action more effective because you have grown a lot since the last time you try that thing or something similar. I feel a big burst of energy so its like everything is here, you just have to act. Like the snake, do not chase your goal or just walk around it until you saw the opportunity. Just go in front of it and strike ! With the Lover I see that this thing is dear to your heart or will light the fire in yourself again. You can do it, you have the power to do so, you can only gain good thing from this situation that will (above of making you happy) will heal something in yourself.

⊙

#pick a card #gryphis #⊙

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squeakadeeks · 29 days

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i havent overshared something extremely complicated and personal on here in awhile so its time to fix that

you might recall that after this past summer i've been trying to recover from anorexia. progress has been....ok. i suppose better than nothing but im certainly in the rocky/awkward phase of it now. Thats part of why i've been doing more illustrative art/doll art as opposed to sharing images of myself/things that relate to my appearance like cosplay.

which brings me to the primary thing thats on my mind which that historically, whenever people give accolades or shout out my strengths as a costumer, a majority of the time its on my shilloweete. and sure, i do work a lot with petticoats and padding to make things more dramatic, but fully and genuinely 90% of that is just because of how disproportionately weird my measurements are with respect to my head and skeleton. its not actually a skill, talent, or anything i've put effort into, its just a consequence of anorexia. and its hard because when people draw attention to it, i cant be like "thanks. its because ive been intentionally and resolutely trying to off myself for the past 10 years."

i guess this is something that i shouldn't be picky about, i feel bad getting upset over compliments but i do wish i could be recognized more for my design work, material strategy, and actual craftsmanship over how i look. especially because of the next thing, which is the fact that i get...a not insignificant amount of feedback from people saying they wished they looked like me in a post, or saying that they dont feel like they can cosplay the same characters because of their body.

and at the risk of being controversial, i know that oftentimes the response to statements like that are "COSPLAY IS FOR EVERYONE <3" or a similar sentiment, but this ignores that fact that cosplay is not the same for everyone. because look, there was a brief period in 2016 when i actually was at a healthy weight and my treatment in the cosplay community was like night and day. i dont know what to say when i know that the way we're going to be viewed for doing idential things is going to be significantly different, and i think back to how much praise i get for things that are disordered behavior. If those comments wernt there...would anything else actually fill that void? if that person wasnt giving me a compliment on how much i "actually look like that character", would they have said anything at all?

one of my goals is to eventually get to the point where i can make good on my word and my internal morals and try to challenge those ideas by existing in spite of them, but dawg. i just simply do not have that mental resolve yet. at the very least ive wanted to address it on tiktok and IG where this problem happens the most, but i both dont know how to approach the topic responsibility and if i could handle the upsetting comments, be them well intentioned or otherwise.

#tw ed descussion

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softxsuki · 1 year

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hi!! id like to make an urgent request please :)

tw !! mention of self harm / new sh wounds , mention of a blade

if you’re alright with it, id like to request a (romantic) hawks x gn!reader where hawks walks in on reader relapsing.

ive recently grown more and more stressed and tired lately, like my energy is constantly being drained and no matter how hard i try im not enough to stop it. and i wanna reach out for help cause i know i have friends who care about me but i just cant for some reason—i dont feel the need to ask for help cause i just dont think i deserve it. no matter how many times ill comfort others i was never strong enough to ask for the same comfort, and instead of going to someone and talking about it i turn to my blade.

hawks is a big comfort character of mine and my current hyperfix, and as embarassing as it is—reading comfort fanfics of him is a way of coping with it all. so id gladly appreciate if you could write this for me :) ++ if possible, id love if youd be able to include hawks cleaning reader’s cuts, cleaning them bringd me a sense of comfort and id love to see that in the fic.

but if you’re uncomfy about anything at all, no worries ! you dont have to write this if you dont wanna :) have a lovely day<3

Hawks Comforting Reader After They Self-Harm

please do not read if any kind of mentions of self-harm will do you more harm than good!

Pairing: Hawks x Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of self harm, blade, blood, scars

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Drabble

Word Count: 750

Summary: In which your BF Hawks catches you self harming and cleans up your fresh cuts

[A/N: Hey hey, so sorry for taking so long to write this, I know it was urgent. I just happened to get sick randomly and couldn't focus to write. But I finally got this done for you! I hope you're still around to read it </3. Hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Always go to others for help before taking matters into your own hands. Even if you feel like you can't, I'm sure the people in your life would love to help you out <3 I'm here too if you ever need anything! Enjoy!]

You look back and forth between the bloody mess in front of you to the panicked face of Keigo who had walked in on you.

He was supposed to be gone for the whole day, patrolling his designated area until later that evening. Who knew he’d stop by to check in on you, hoping to have lunch together before continuing his patrol duties. Yet, coming home to you hovering over the bathroom sink with blood dripping from your delicate skin was not what he expected at all.

Of course he knew about your history with self-harm and could very clearly see all your past scars on your body, but he never expected to see you actively harm yourself in front of him.

“Y/N…” He starts cautiously, eyeing the blade in your hands as you shake with regret.

“I’m sorry,” you cry, dropping the blade in the sink and moving your bleeding wrists away from his view, but he quickly closes the space between you.

Gentle hands grab your own and inspect the damage done. He rolls up the sleeves of his hero suit and gets to work on cleaning you up. With a clean towel he dabs the blood away, applying slight pressure to help stop the bleeding a little, whispering an apology whenever you flinch from the pain.

He’s silent; contemplating how he let it get this far. He was a hero for crying out loud and the one person he wanted to keep safe the most out of everyone else in the world, managed to get harmed while he was away. He was angry and frustrated at himself that he couldn’t prevent the fresh cuts on your arms. All those nights he kissed your scars and whispered sweet promises of love and protection were all for nothing. Why couldn’t he be more useful to you?

“Keigo, I didn’t mea-” you start, but he quickly cuts you off as he finishes applying the bandage wrap to your wrist.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known something was off, I should have paid more attention and been around to help instead of being out. I’m sorry.”

He presses kisses to your bandaged wrist, just wishing that he could have the magical healing power that Recovery Girl’s kisses had. He wished he could kiss all your pain away and face it all himself in your stead.

“No, no, this is all on me. You’re always there for me, telling me how much you love me and trying your best to encourage me and lift me up, but I always hold back,” you confess, snatching your arms away from him in guilt, “You’re so busy as it is saving everyone. I don’t want to add to your burdens with my own problems as well. I thought I could deal with it all alone, but I failed. I turned back to my blade because it was too much to bear on my own.”

He sighs, and this time brings you into his arms in an embrace, “That’s because we’re not meant to go through these things alone, babe. Even as a hero I don’t do things on my own either. I have a whole agency backing me up along with my other fellow heroes. No one can accomplish anything on their own without hurting themselves. So please let me be there for you to help you as much as you’ve helped me.”

Silent sobs escape your lips as he continues to hold you and speak.

“All those days when you held me after I failed to save someone. All those nights you patched me up after a mission and I stubbornly refused to go to a hospital; let me be there for you for all your tough times as well. Let me be the one to gather you up again and listen to all your worries, don’t fight your battles alone anymore. I promise you’re not a bother to me at all. I want to be there for you. It’s my job,” he reassures you.

“All right,” you sniffle, finally wrapping your own arms around him, accepting his comfort.

He calls the agency afterwards, letting them know that he can’t come in for the rest of the day and instead spends his time with you. Listening intently to everything that’s been bubbling up in your heart, right by your side, wiping your tears away and giving you his unconditional support and love. He’s definitely making sure you don’t deal with things on your own anymore :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted 3/5/2023

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spurgie-cousin · 14 days

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one part of adhd that i really hate is just knowing there's people out there that think of you as an unreliable or careless person 😕 like how i perceive time and the passing of time has been an issue since i was a kid, i was always chronically late to things (and still am sometimes) so a lot of ppl i know have running jokes about that, but some of them like my family definitely don't understand the connection bt the two things so i know there's sometimes actual anger and frustration behind the jokes. and that they just probably think im a selfish person who doesn't care about other people's time when in reality ive bawled in my car on the way to an event i was supposed to be at 20 mins ago so many times bc i felt like i tried so hard not to do that and just something went wrong, again.

i also lose stuff constantly and throughout my life i've lost some pretty important things, which not only makes me feel awful but makes people who don't understand just assume i'm a careless moron who doesn't understand the value of things when literally nothing could be further from the truth bc i went through a period of being broke as shit for years....so if anything i really feel like i place too much value on some things bc subconsciously I'm worried that if something happens to it I won't be able to fix or replace it. if I didn't live with someone else who kept me in check I'm almost certain there are things I'd like, hoard.

idk sometimes i try to explain the connection to these kinds of things to people and you can just see it in their face that they don't really believe you and might think you're just trying to come up with excuses. and it makes me want to be so defensive bc i try sooooooo hard all the time and it's so upsetting when you're doing that and STILL having these issues‼️ like the fight to convince myself that I'm trying to cope with a disorder and I'm not inherently just bad and dumb after actually believing that for nearly 3 decades is an every day uphill battle so 🥲 to know a lot of people would agree with my past self and can't understand that is hard

#and i can't even talk about demand avoidance I've never even told anyone except like my husband and other nd people about those struggles #i was going to say it was a knife in the kidneys but idk if i should be invoking Kody brown #rant #adhd #my shit

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fwob · 1 year

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CAN I PLEASEE PLZ PLS GET UR FIC RECS DUDE (can i also rec one; poly philtatos (the most loved by far)

anything for you anon <3 sorry for taking . checks watch . two days .

under the cut cuz i have . A Few

PROJECT: ICARUS - aka the fic thats been absolutely rotting my brain for the past week . luffy dies at marineford except actually just kidding hes still alive but hes a marine pacifista / seraphim / human weapon now . oops ! please read it its so good the first 2 chapters are fucking BRUTAL

put your faith in what you most believe in - luffy gets sick . sabo's understandably worried . this ones a top contender for my fav op fic . i think abt this one CONSTANTLY

literally every taizi fic . yes all of them . i have read every single op fic theyve published . they're all bangers . no exceptions . but i will specifically recommend the previous fic , as well as this one , this one , this one , this one , and this one

wish by spirit and if by yes - sabo visits the whitebeards on revolutionary business . also a top contender for my fav op fic . i REALLY love this one the dynamic is SO good

i know you by the state of your hands - time travel shenanigans

breathe - luffy has a nightmare and an ensuing panic attack and law calms him down . they chat . VERY good i really like this one . the sequel is also good its linked on the fic

asl in red - this whole series is insane . it starts as like "shanks adopts ASL !!!" and then it just goes completely off the rails . like god whats going on . its great tho

ache in the rain (and remember the wounds) - luffy sees ghosts !

luffy's law - i dont know whats really going on in this fic but i fuck with it . will be incorporating multiple things from this fic into any modern au i make in the future

whatever you can still betray - ace has GOT to be a marine spy because nothing he says makes any fucking sense . i really love this one its so fun

finally i get to choose what's wrong (and what is right) - listen . 90% of the time i am FIRMLY against genderbending one character and nobody else . but like . im a fan of this one . also makino has a gun

si c'est un âme - your soulmate's first words to you are written on your body . luffy has 9 phrases on his back . i AM in fact a platonic soulmate enjoyer

blood song - post thriller bark zolu ...... ough

on brotherhood - ageswap , luffy is the older brother

code of misconduct - there's a set of written rules on the thousand sunny . VERY silly fic . very fun

hey, let's get lost (along the way) - luffy , ace , nami , and vivi get lost in alabasta . shenanigans ensue

i can't be selfless - garp invites aokiji to dawn island to help convince luffy to be a marine

god's emperor - shanks meets a young god . this was before 1044 actually like damn girl ur ON that shit

how it should have healed - the aftermath of some of luffy's various injuries

seven deadly sins - trafalgar law's new apartment is haunted by exactly seven (7) ghosts

chasing the remnants - sabo accompanies dragon to loguetown

little monsters - usopp and sanji get captured by marines

of dawn and dreams - i could not tell you what this series is about but its mostly shanks and buggy . its good tho

don't bury me with gold - WORLD NOBLE SABO ....... oughhh this one is so good . i think abt it a lot

sun over the horizon - luffy gives his crew some much-needed affection after a battle

take a step in mine - on their way out of marineford , luffy collapses a little bit earlier . it changes some things

spin a yarn - time travel shenanigans . this whole series makes me completely and utterly insane . read it now

over the course of a day - worlds worst roadtrip

greatest gift of all - luffy is 10 years younger than his brothers

two and a half pirates - luffy is 16 years younger than his brothers

unsinkable - the ocean is luffy's mother . ive seen like 3 different fics with this concept but this one is my favourite

three years, give or take - time travel shenanigans , except it's ace this time

hide the knives - after ace joins the whitebeards , shanks drops by for a party

beginning the next dream - time travel shenanigans . there's a reason it's the most kudosed op fic

make a choice (turncoat hero) - garp accidentally becomes a pirate . whoops !

boy with a scar - luffy vanishes after sabo dies and shows up 4 years later with a slave brand . what kind of man would i be if i didnt include boy with a scar . i love this one a lot

in which higuma doesn't get drunk, even though he really, really wants to - time travel shenanigans

sunflowers - genderfluid luffy ....... god i love transgenderism

pain scale - luffy gets injured and nobody realizes for a while , himself included

sibling sympathies - ace and nami have a chat in alabasta

small changes - id summarize this one but tbh i dont super remember what happens in this one i just remember rlly liking it . its a cora lives au i know that . read it anyways

too bright to see - lusan ..............

i'll keep the king (i'll keep him safe) - EXCEPTIONALLY good luffy whump . very good

of scissors and combs - luffy gets a haircut

and heres four gear fifth fics that i like. id summarize them all but i dont really want to so like . just trust me on this one . read em

also thanks for the rec !! ive been meaning to read that one for weeks thanks for giving me an excuse to finally do it . here's the link for anyone who hasn't read it which you should because it's VERY good

#was literally fighting for my life to post this #was gonna post it this morning but then it fucking deleted half of them so i had to wait til i got home to fix it #and then i fixed it and then it did it AGAIN #anyways godbless i went thru literally all of my bookmarks for this #ace speaks #ask #save #<- so i dont lose it later hopefully

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romanarose · 2 years

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Leather and Lace: Chapter 4

Santiago Garcia X OC

Previous part here : Next part here

Fic masterlist

While on the mission, Pope and the guys find a girl tied up in the basement of a drug lord. Through a few unforeseen circumstances, the girl and Pope get separated from Will, Frankie and Benny and have to find their way back in the woods. She doesn’t talk, is malnourished and traumatized, and Pope has the instinct to protect her at all costs.

(Pretend this is him leaning over a railing while talking to Fish okay)

WARNINGS!!!: for whole fic there’s gonna be violence, mentions of blood, mentions of sex trafficking, ptsd, sexual trauma (past), physical trauma, gunshots, eventual smut!! Don’t read just for the smut tho cuz it’s not smut focused.

Warnings: UUUHH maybe nothing really? Will being a dick? kissing? at worst? Kinda soft, lil angst then soft.

I wrote this,,,, SO TIRED. Not my best work tbh. I think I'm gonna keep updates to once a week until Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside is done bc between this, SSSB, Seattle, the han solo story ive been trying to finish for two years, and the one shots i wanna do AND taking 19 credits and working 4 days a week.... it's a lot. I want my work to remain as good as I know I'm capable of. Thank you for all for patience, and thank you for all your lovely encouragements! Fanfiction writing can be so thankless sometimes, it makes me so emo-tional to see your nice words. In the mean time, come read Sunshine! I've been told it's pretty bingeable if I do say so myself. I see a lot of people like it chapter by chapter and inhale it in a day or two. 27 chapters out of 33!

*****************

“Home sweet home” Santi opened his front door, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible, despite being exhausted from the flight. He let her in, holding the door as she wandered in, carrying her backpack. Lace had refused to let Santiago Garcia carry it. He was already carrying his bags plus one of Benny’s, and she already felt uncomfortable with her dependance on him. Benny’s friend had picked them up, dropping Santi and Laci off at his place. Frankie and Will had stayed behind for a few extra days to finish what they were supposed to all do in the days after they raided the house. Unfortunately, between Santi’s disappearance from the house and Benny’s gunshot wound, they had gotten side tracked. Will had a fucking fit about Santi leaving, which had turned into some choice words and a Frankie once again having to separate them before it got too far. Frankie, who was less than thrilled about Santiago leaving with Laci, agreed Santiago should go. Ben wanted to stay as well, but his shoulder was still out of commission. Frankie also thought it was a good idea to separate Will and his injured brother to allow Will space to calm down without constantly seeing his brother damaged

Laci took in the space. She wore pants and a long sleeve, covering the array of bruises she was still recovering from. She turned to him with a smile. ‘It’s nice’ The place wasn’t huge, but it was clean, it was safe, and it was his. After he had retrieved the money that was thrown in the canyon, Santi had split it with his 3 other friends. Most of them felt… wrong, having the money, so they all kept the money aside for emergencies, donated a lot, and made a few smart purchases. All of them had bought houses, no mortgage. At the very least, they’d always have a home.

“It’s late, but we can go to the store tomorrow and get you set up with some more clothes, anything else you need.”

She turned to him, nervous and shaking her head. “It’s fine”

“No, Lace it’s okay, let me do this.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll get a job and get out of your hair” She dodged his eyes again. They had made a lot of progress, she was talking more freely, but she never held his eyes for long.

“Lace…” Pope wondered how he could make her see, make her believe that he just wanted to help her. He took her hands, careful not to startle her. “This… this is your home now. You can stay here as long as you need, I mean it. Don’t worry about working until you’re ready. Let’s get you set up with services, counseling, medical… Don’t even think about work yet.”

She leaned into him, holding tight on his hands but looking away. “Expensive.” She muttered.

He sighed. “Listen, it’s a lot to explain but… I came into some money recently. Don’t worry about that. Just…” He took her face in his hand, turning her face to him, and she finally looked at him. “Lace, let me take care of you” He kept her eye contact, watched her eyes searching his face. She was looking for a hint of a lie, of malicious intent. She found nothing but tenderness.

Before Santiago even had a moment to react, her lips were on his. He kissed back the moment their lips met, purely on instinct. When his brain caught up and realized it was her, it was her lips, chapped and hesitant, he kissed back with more fervor, wrapping his arms around his waist and she melted into his arms. Then, he realized what was happening. Santi pulled away, taking a few steps back and away from her, disgusted with himself.

“I’m sorry” He said all too quickly, as soon as he saw her distressed face. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He expected her to cry or panic, he didn’t expect this response. Her face set into a nervous determination. She pointed at him and shook her head. Then she pointed at herself. ‘You didn’t do it, I did’

“I know,” He clarified. Here he was with a traumatized and vulnerable girl in his home, she probably felt obligated to sleep with him, she thought that's what he wanted… He scrubbed his face, then looked back at her. Laci’s face was red, looking at the floor. She was embarrassed. “Can we just… let's pretend this never happened, okay? Finish showing you around?”

She nodded, not talking. Santi fought the urge to sigh again. Two steps forward, one step back. “C’mon, I’ll show you the yard.” He wanted to just block out the last two minutes from their collective memories. He started walking toward the sliding glass doors, but stopped when he heard her footsteps stop. He turned around and saw her staring at his bookshelf, staring at the 5 porcelain dolls on the top shelf.

She cocked her eyebrow up at him with a teasing smile. ‘Yours?’

He smiled, happy the tension was gone. “My sister’s, actually.”

Laci grinned, still lookin at the pretty, well cared for dolls, but was slightly nervous. She pointed to the house in general “does she live here?”

Santi’s kind smile waved a tad. “She died. It’ll be two years next month. Overdose.”

She turned to him, but he remained focused on the shelves, so she turned back. After a moment, she spoke. “My brother. I was 20. He raised me after our parents died.” Another pause as Laci took a shaky breath. “Suicide.”

Santi took her hand.

******************

A week later, Santi was parking his car on Frankie’s street. “You sure you’re okay? We can still turn around, Fish will understand.”

Laci had thought she was hiding her anxiety well, but somehow, Pope always knew what she was thinking. This was helpful, seeing as she still hardly spoke. It came and went in moments, he was never exactly sure what caused her to start or stop talking. If she was anxious or upset she shut down, but sometimes there didn’t seem to be a cause.

She looked at him with a little smile. ‘It’s fine. You want to go, so we’ll go.’ The two of them had gone everywhere together this week, every appointment and every meeting with a social worker or doctor. He wouldn’t leave her at the house alone, and he knew she would insist on going despite her reservations. She had asked who was coming. Pope knew that was code for ‘is Will coming’. The two of them had yet to interact. With Frankie, at least, he made an attempt to speak to her, dropping by when he got back to the states and asking yes/no questions to Laci so she didn’t feel left out. Will hadn’t been over, nor had be called. But she was fairly comfortable around Ben. Benny had been over a few times, and Laci even let Santi leave the room to go to the bathroom or get snacks, leaving her alone with Ben while they watched tv. Always Sunny in Philadelphia, of all things. It made him smile when he’d return to the room, watching her and Benny laughing out loud together.

They hadn’t addressed the kiss and neither made a move, but the tension was palpable some days. Her first full day there, she had tried to make him dinner while Pope showered. When he heard a bunch of banging, he rushed out, only stopping to wrap a towel around his waist and ran to the kitchen. He found Laci cleaning up a bunch of pans that had fallen on the floor. Looking up, her eyes widened as she stared at his shirtless torso. When her eyes flicked up to him, they stayed like that for a moment, Santi trying to read her face. He was good at it, he usually knew what she was saying or thinking… right then, she was unreadable.

She took his hand as Pope let himself in through the back gate and she took in the scene. It was a small gathering, Frankie had promised that it would just be the guys. Frankie usually held a cook out when everyone comes back from a mission, a way for everyone to decompress. Usually, it was a fucking party. Alcohol, lots of friends, family, and any random stranger Benny had met off the street that day. Today was small. Ever the peacekeeper, Frankie was hoping Will would warm up to Laci. Fish recognized, even if Pope was in denial, that Laci was going to be part of things for a long time. On a phone call with Ben while he was still out of the country, Benny had told him he thought something was going on between the pair, that they were absolutely inseparable. Benny was the one that noticed Santi’s watch was missing on the flight, and relayed the story Pope told him to Frankie.

“Hey guys!” Benjamin Miller swaggered over, hugging Santi and putting his hand on Laci’s shoulder. “C’mon! I’m on grill duty” It was a warm day, and now that Laci got to pick out her clothes, he found she liked to wear a lot of flowers. Her dress today was pink and white floral and a flowy skirt.

“Oh god,” Pope muttered, following the blonde boy.

“Relax, Garcia. Fish is cooking, I’m just in charge of making sure the burgers don’t burn.” Benny, Laci and Santi stood on the deck for a few minutes before Will opened the screen door, and he felt Laci tense.

He was carrying pop, tossing one to Ben and one to Santi, one for himself.

Santi called him out. “C’mon man, don’t be a dick.” He felt Laci’s hand on his arm, and turned to see her face. ‘Let it go’

Will rolled his eyes and cracked open his pop. Benny handed his to Laci “Here, I’m grabbing a beer” He walked into the house, grabbing Will with him and shutting the glass door, no doubt about to chew out Will.

Santiago turned to her “Sorry Lace, he’s being a dick.”

“You don’t have to… defend me or anything. I don’t want you guys to start fighting…” After learning about Santi’s sister’s death, and how most of his family is gone, she started to realize what these men meant to him. She didn’t want to be the one to cause any more problems than she already had.

Will and Benny returned, Will looking irritated but calmer. “Here” He handed Laci a snack pack of cheetos. A small gesture, but a gesture nonetheless.

Laci kept looking at the floor, but touched her hand to her mouth, then moved it out. ‘Thank you’ in sign language. Ben had taught Laci several basic sign language phrases to prepare for the party. All the guys know passable sign language, and this way she could communicate a few things without having to talk or have Santi translate her facial expressions.

When the door opened, Will’s grumpy face lit up. “Here’s the woman of the hour!” And held out his arms to snatch the little girl from Frankies arms. The one year old practically dived into Will’s arms. It was strange for Laci to see Will not glowering. One by one, each of the guys held the tiny toddler, Laci was absolutely enthralled with the sight of Santi holding the adorable girl, blowing raspberries on her stomach.

“Laci?” Frankie spoke up. “Would you like to hold her?”

Laci nodded frantically, and held out nervous arms for Frankie’s daughter. The 18 month old was hesitant to leave her tio’s arms, but once she was in Laci’s around, she put her little hands on Laci’s face. It was an immidiet bond between the two.

“Rosie,” Frankie steps over to the two girls, tickling the toddlers neck. “Meet Laci. Laci, this is Fatima Rosa Maria Morales Ferndanez. Or Rosie, as we usually call her, when she’s not in trouble.”

Benny smiled at his friend and his niece. “Powerful name for a powerful little girl.”

Frankie noticed Laci’s eyes welling up and her lip quivering. “You okay, Laci?”

Santi kicked himself for not picking up on her discomfort, moving to take Rosie out of Laci’s arms, but Laci held on, looking at the little girl adoringly. She turned and whispered to Santiago, who then turned to his friend, smiling. “She said she’s beautiful, Frankie.” Frankie smiled back.

The evening had been delightful. Santi always enjoyed seeing the guys, especially after a particularly stressful mission. Even if Will was being a bit of a dick. It wasn’t bad, Will knew how to tow a line, that was for sure. Just enough where Santi didn’t feel it was worth making a scene, but enough where his irritation was growing. Laci was mostly oblivious, she had Rosie on her hip, even so much as straying away from her ever-attachment at Santi’s side to play with her in the grass. Santi leaned over the deck, beer in hand as he watched her.

“I think Rosie has a friend.” Frankie joined him, looking at his daughter lovingly.

“Yeah.” Santi’s smile was huge. Frankie knew he was down bad.

“How’s she been adjusting?”

“She’s doing alright, considering. Therapy starts next week and she’s been to a few medical appointments, got her on meds, a diet to get back the nutrients she lost. Dentists gotta do some work, shit like that. She’ll have… she’ll have her moments. It’s hard to watch.”

Frankie nods. “What do you mean?”

“Sometimes I’ll find her asleep on the couch watching tv. She had to get on medicine for the nightmares, they seem to help, but she likes the light. She says the TV helps her focus. She watches Friends reruns. She doesn’t even like Friends, It’s just something else to think about, nothing serious, stupid sitcom.” He paused, unsure if he should say it, but if he could be honest with anyone, it was Fish. “She kissed me”

Frankie laughed. “Oh yeah. She kissed you.”

Pope turned to Frankie, finally looking at him “I’m serious!... I mean… I kissed back.”

“There it is.” Fish smirked.

Pope was defensive. “She did! Fish I would never want her to think she has to do anything just because I’m helping her.”

“But you wouldn’t mind if you and her… we’re together?.”

Pope rolled his eyes, “Well, she’s-” pretty he was about to say, turning back to Laci. She was on her back, legs up in the air with Rosie on her feet, playing superman. Laci’s skirt rode up, showing off the smooth curve of her ass. “Oh fuck” Santi and Frankie quickly turned out, but gave each other a side-eyed smile.

An hour later, Frankie was putting Rosie to bed, and Laci was back to Santiago’s side. When Frankie came back, everyone was gathered on the porch. “Hey Santi, I think you forgot something.” He tossed the watch to his friend.

“Fish, what the shit? How did you…?” Santi hugged Fish tighty “Hermano, how did you know I lost it?”

“Benny can’t keep a secret for the life of him.”

Benny meely shrugged, smiling.

Will, however, was confused. “Wait, is that Fatima’s watch?” He looked back and forth between Fish and Pope. “Why does Catfish have it?”

“I um…” Pope hesitated, his grin fading. “When we were in the forest, I sold it to get some food and water…”

“What the fuck Pope?” Will looked irrationally irritated.

Frankie put a hand on Will’s arm, trying to calm him. “Calm down.”

Will shrugged him up. “You sold Fatima’s watch because of her? Jesus Pope, what the hell?”

Pope put himself in front of Laci instinctively. “Back the fuck off, Ironhead. Now.”

Will look at Santi condescendingly. “What is she doing to you man? She almost got you killed, now you’re just being her bitch”

Ben saw it coming before Santi even made a move, smacking Frankie, signaling him to move. Ben grabbed Pope, holding him back as he went to punch Will and luckily, Frankie caught Ben’s message and grabbed Will’s shirt, warning him not to do anything. Laci stepped backwards until her back hit the deck railing, and there she froze.

“What is your fucking problem Will?!” Santi shouted at the much taller man.

“Do you have ANY IDEA how close you came to dying, Pope? It’s a goddamn miracle you didn’t get your head blasted open! You and Ben could’ve died! Then what? Do we spit up the money again and give it to your non-existent family and pretend it’s okay? If Ben died, would you just give me a pat on the back and say ‘Oh, sorry!’ and move on?”

Santi was in too much of a blind fury to possess what Will was saying “None of that has ANYTHING to do with her!” Santi pointed to the scared girl in the corner of the deck, clutching onto the railing for dear life.

“I told you we needed to move, but you never fucking listen! You had to baby her, you had to play knight in shining armor and rescue the pretty girl, meanwhile Benny gets shot and you literally dodge a bullet!”

Benny mumbles something about not bringing him into this, but no one was listening. Benny knew he wasn’t getting anywhere. Santi and Will would hash this out, Frankie would stop them from killing each other. He looked over to see Laci scared as shit. Carefully, he walked over to her. Her eyes were shut tight, but she knew it was Ben, because she knew what Santi’s hand felt like.

“Enough!” Frankie shouted after a few more pointless back and forths. “You guys hear that?” Through the upstairs window, everyone could hear Rosie crying. “You guys woke up and probably scared the shit out of my baby, not to mention Laci.” Santi suddenly noticed she had left his side, and felt a tinge of guilt and jealousy to see her so scared, but also holding the handsome young man’s hand. “Santi, Will, go inside and fucking sort this out like adults.” He noticed Santi glance to Laci again. “She’ll be fine, man. Jesus, Ben will be here. I’m going to put my daughter to bed and I swear to god, if you wake her up again, we’re gonna have a problem.”

Will and Santi stormed off, and Frankie went upstairs to try and put his toddler back to bed. Benny and Laci stood in silence as Laci held his hand tightly. They couldn’t hear what Will and Santi were saying, but it sounded calmer. After a while, Will opened the door, looking embarrassed. “I need to talk to her” he told Ben.

“No way man-”

“Okay.” The Miller brothers turned to Laci, eyes finally open and looking directly at Will for the first time.

Hesitantly, Benny let go of her hand, telling Will not to be an asshole, closing the screen door instead of the glass door. “Can I close the glass door? I don’t want them eavesdropping.” Laci nodded, and Will closed it. Much like Santi, Will scrubbed his face. “How much did Santi tell you about our history together.”

She held up her fingers together. ‘Very little’

“He tell you bout Tom?”

She shook her head.

Will sighed. “Last year, a mission went wrong. I got shot.” Despite how much of an ass he had been, he swore he saw a bit of pity on her face. “But we had another friend, his name was Tom. He got killed after things went very, very wrong and… I think I’ve always held onto a lot of anger and guilt over it. A lot of feelings I don’t know how to let out in a normal way. Seeing my brother get shot, and those few days where I thought Santi had been killed or taken, I think… Well I think maybe it brought a lot of feelings out. I don’t know if Santi told you, but Benn is my brother. My actual brother, I mean. I know we all refer to each other as brothers…” he trailed off, realizing he was rambling. “I thought I was going to watch him die…” He shuffled his feet, trying to figure out what he was trying to say.

Surprisingly, she spoke up, although barely audible ”I didn’t ask for any of this…”

God, that hurt. Of fucking course she didn’t. This poor girl had gone through hell, and here he was making her feel worse. “I know. And I’m really sorry. I’m not good at this kind of thing…” Despite his best efforts, his voice was just a little choked up. It was a high emotion week. “I don’t really have a good excuse, but I am sorry. I know you’re going to be around a while, maybe forever-” he cut himself off. He didn’t exactly know what Santi and her relationship was., and wasn’t sure if they knew either.“I don’t want to make an enemy out of you, and I don’t want to be the person who makes you feel worse.”

Laci thought for a second, then smiled a soft, nervous smile. She tentatively walked towards him. “It’s okay.”

He shook his head. “It’s not-”

She held up a hand. He didn’t need Santi to translate that. “I get… I get really angry sometimes. Sometimes I get angry at Santi and he did nothing wrong. He doesn’t know. I push it down. But sometimes I worry I won’t be able to stop it. It’s okay.”

Will nodded. He felt like they had an understanding, at least.

She walked past him, going to find Santi. When Laci found him, he surprised her with a hug. “Are you okay, Lace?” He asked, rubbing her back.

“Yeah, I’m great. Take me home please?” She nestled her head into his chest, taking in his smell.

On the drive home, Laci asked about the watch.

“My sister gave it to me a few months before she died.” He took it off, handing it to her. “The inscription translates to ‘count all the stars and add one more’ it’s about how much the singer loves someone. It’s a song by Jesse and Joy and it features Luis Fonsi” Santi turned to her, smiling sadly “I couldn’t stand Luis Fonsi, but my sister loved him.” He turned back to the road. “Her name was Fatima. Frankie named his daughter after her. He and I grew up together. Anyway, she gave me this watch as a half joke since I hated the song. Now it’s one of my favorites. I think she knew she was dying.”

Laci put her hand on his shoulder. Usually, their touches were for Laci’s sake. This was for Santi’s. “That’s really sweet, Santi. And I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, Muñecita. For Will.”

“I think Will and I are going to get along fine.” She turned to him. “I like your friends a lot.”

Santi smiled. “Yeah, I do too.

***************

THANK YOU FOR READING! Reblogs help a lot, comments mean the world! lmk if you'd like to be added to my tag list!

Since google doesn’t really translate it, Muñecita means little doll. Muñeca is doll, and adding -ita makes a name or object diminutive.

@littlenosoul @bensolosbluesaber @milkymoon2483 @gogh-with-the-flow @itspdameronthings

#leather and lace fic #triple frontier fic #triple frontier fanfic #triple frontier #santiago garcia #santiago garcia x reader #santi garcia fanction #benny miller #will miller #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales #fluff #angst #hurt #comfort #santi garcia #santiago pope garcia #santiago garcia hurt comfort #oscar isaac fanfiction

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kaeyx · 4 months

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I honestly dont think people understand that Asmo is literally the only one from the transfer of Obey Me to Nightbringer that didnt treat MC differently from day 1. (disclaimer, i havent played nightbringer in MONTHS im still on like lesson 14 if that gives you ANY idea on how long its been since ive played) But like...........yes people notice it but i dont think people UNDERSTAND it. Asmodeus was THE ONLY ONE. Solomon is the exception but imagine you build a life with these people, you build relationships with these people, your like romantically involved with at least one of them, your best friends with at least one, youve shared secrets with them, you share a connection with them that NOBODY does, and then you get thrown into the past and ALL of that gets erased, all of the affection, all of the memories, your pacts, all of the time and effort you put into them is basically just.....gone. So imagine how it must feel to have Mammon back to being how he was at the start, or how it must feel to be shut out by Lucifer again (as a lucifer persuer it was so fucking hard to get through to him and to be thrown out and forced to worm my way back into his heart again- EXCUSE ME!? LIKE BITCH I EARNED MY PLACE IN HIS HEART HOW DARE YOU-!? THAT TOOK TIME-! ) Or how it must feel when Satan doesnt look at Mc the same anymore, or how it must feel when Simeon doesnt show the same amount of love he did before, and then being able to have that sense of........liek.....warmth when talking to Asmo because you know that....nothings really changed. Asmo is still YOUR Asmo. Asmo is the ONLY one, out of everyone, who treats Mc like nothing really changed the moment they met in NB. Its like......Solo and Asmo are not only a package deal, but theyre also a sense of familiarity and comfort in the chaos that is being thrown into the past and being told "you'll be happier here" (also i feel like i have a right to be extremely upset with whomever yeeted MC into the past because ITS MY CHOICE ON WHETHER OR NOT ILL BE HAPPY NOT URS WHY TF DO U GET TO DECIDE IF IM HAPPY OR NOT!? WHAT IF I /WANTED/ LUCI TO KILL ME?! HUH!? LIKE. BITHC. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I FIND KINKY OR NAH STFU >:( its my life how dare you try to tell me whatll make me happy- tho im 100% okay with it if it means i can romance Dia and Barbs within the plot instead of just gathering intimicy points- like.....marry me pls dia i beg of u- pls for the love of the gods make me ur husband- on my hands and knees for u ANYWAYS-) I feel like thats something nobody really pays attention to and like.....understands and acknowledges about NB is that like....everyone else changed EXCEPT Asmo- SORRY IF THIS ISNT LIKE A THIRST OR ANYTHING LEO I JUST THIS HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR A WHILE AND I WANTED TO SHARE <3

It's a rlly good point! Asmo is generally very nice to MC even when they're a complete stranger, and it's a bit harder to tell when his affection becomes... deeper? More genuine? Idk how to say it, when he starts caring for them as a person instead of just "cute/interesting new person to play with", but he's still being nice even in that first stage. Beel also behaves like this imo, he's very sweet and opens up to MC pretty quickly (especially when compared to like. Lucifer or Satan)

#asmo.obey me

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khalixvitae · 7 months

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the mosaics would be soooo perfect. ive always been haunted with images of an extremely decadent mosaic/stained glass window depicting a breathtaking religious figure while someone lays slumped up against it either really bloodied or pathetic. like the brainworms have got to come out some way or another. im pretty sure reincarnated yuu would have to look starkly different to past life because rookvil would definitely construct a grand, gothic cathedral with countless stained glass windows depicting their beloved as holy, revered, awe-inspiring. should yuu visit it, and they likely will, they'd have to bear witness to it. every day, the townsfolk lay their eyes upon the enigmatic icon as they offer their whole hearted worship with hands clasped together in earnestness. flowers yuu used to loved would be placed ever so often as tribute to them. when yuu sits in the pews, they hear the people next to them mutter some rather unorthodox wishes-- they pray for their safe return. i mean, the christians often pray for the second coming of jesus, and the cathedral draws on many architectural aspects of Christian places of worship-- it is not unheard of for religious practitioners to hope for their god to reveal themself once more, but these people pray for nothing else like they do. not for prosperity and love and health and forgiveness-- the return of this deity is all that to them and more. what if yuu visits this cathedral on their first day in town, acquainting themselves with the area first before painting for the lords, and it turns out the person they sit next to is actually rook or vil? they wouldn't know, but he might. they'd ask him innocent questions about this unique, localized deity, seeing as they seemingly are not aligned with Christianity or any other notable religion, and he'd respond as though their identity was a given, their grandeur were obvious by a mere glance, the kindness of their heart and hand far out does any other religious icon. they'd be rather confused about the very niche belief system of this towns religion, so he'd offer them a tour of the place, indulge them a little. gesture to every single artistic detail as if it were born from his own fingers. unveil the secrets of the ones who built this cathedral ever so slightly, and of their desire, their purpose, their faith. he'd speak of very zealous practitioners who come into the Booths late at night to profess their hearts desire that only the silence of night and the ears of this deity are privy to. of the trembling hands and the teary eyes and the lips pressed to the coloured glass-- all out of worship, of course! and he's so very confident that their ardent worship will be answered one day. only if he knew that his prayers for his love were answered the moment yuu overheard them. when yuu finally leaves for the day, he remains-- leaning his back against the mosaic of their past life. only, instead of letting his gaze rise skyward towards the beloved figure in the window, like it was instinct for his eyes to train themselves upon the dearest thing to his heart and nothing else, he lets his eyes linger on the gorgeous stranger. he realised he never asked for their name. but it's a small town here, anyways. he'll find out, sooner or later. and he lies there a little while longer, kissing the mosaic he so painstakingly made and installed. maybe there can be a scene where rookvil returns, bloodied and wearied, but taking refuge at the foot of the mosaic. like im too tired to think of any more ideas but i definitely?? need blood??? in a vampire and religion coded fic????

anyways about yuu recognizing the artworks made in their likeness around the town, they can either

1. look very different, so themes of change and endurance of love can be incorporated

2. suffer a curse that unables anyone to recognize past yuu, so more plot heavy ideas can be incorporated

3. have the face of the artwork shrouded, but knowing rookvil, they'd likely want their face to be the most notable aspect

also there is definitely a scene where yuu helps vil pick out an outfit for dinner at their castle, or perhaps a fancy event in town. his servants are too busy with prep, and rook has already gotten ready to oversee everyone-- yuu should be a dear and help him out. yuu can either be the one kneeling before vil, helping him put on his undergarments which really are just a lingerie set, fastening the buckles on his shoe, pulling his zipper up.... hands brushing against his skin far too often and their breath kissing him. or vil can be the one to pick out an outfit for them, since they likely did not come with an outfit for a grand event. there, vil could drop very vague recountings of his past and his desire for beauty and perfection and all his hard work and all his previous experiences getting ready except they sound strangely outdated. they lay their eyes upon a gorgeous reliquary sitting in the middle of his dresser, and they ask what's inside. he replies, only the most valuable and priceless items of his amid his luxury. it's a limited edition and rare collection! but he does hint at having teeth and blood and hair inside it, and yuu doesn't press any further. gothic people are often for macabre trinkets anyways, they suppose. and vil notes that their hair is exactly like the one he keeps inside the ostentatious reliquary as he works on their hair.

alternatively, the reliquary could have past yuu's face on it, so it could be a chance for vil to add onto the story of this mysterious face that is all over the town and the furnishing of this castle. while vil is in the closet, rummaging for items, they peek into it. full of teeth and hair and blood and, maybe, preserved skin and tattered fabrics and a dried flower that is coincidentally their favorite and what seems to be a love letter and luxurious perfume bottles and paintbrushes and-- before they can see what else is inside this strange trove, vil returns, so they promptly close it and they resume with their getting ready.

urk im so sleepy i can't even see the letters on my keyboard. reliquaries are so pretty. hrngh. i nerd to sleep

I’m literally obsessed with the concept of RookVil unintentionally (or intentionally) deifying their lover over hundreds of years of trying to preserve their memory oh my GOD??? The village slowly forgetting a time where the mysterious figure was not venerated by both them and their lords??? And idk why but. I feel like Vil would be the one to really take the process to the extreme in his grief.

And on reasons for them to come back bloody hooo boy. If they thought they’d found a trace of you they’d hurl themselves into hell- they’d follow your trail anywhere, into places even they aren’t fully equipped for. Making the long trek back empty handed, covered in blood that does not belong to them, they’d stop at the cathedral as if it was second instinct. Apologetically kissing the mosaic, it’s like their grief is fresh anew- they have to start all over again any time something like this happens.

Anywho !!! Sleep well anonie <3 !!! Get some rest <3

#twst #vil posting ！(◎_◎;)#RookVil poly brainworms #asks !!#rookism <3

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anlian-aishang · 1 year

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Hello. I don’t know who else to turn to but I was wondering I could get a priority request? I broke down today. I don’t know why. I think maybe ive been strong too long? During the day I’m fine and wear that mask of happiness but when I’m home? It’s a different story.

I just sat on the couch and didn’t realise I was crying. I just felt blank. And if someone were to ask me, my answer would be ‘I’m just tired.’ And it’s genuinely the truth. My soul is tired. I’m not the Suic*** word but… I don’t know…

Having Levi sit down and hug you seemed like a comforting idea. Especially if he’s the type to not make a big deal out of it and knows this is life.

You don’t have to. I know you’re busy with finals, Christmas etc. but I thought I would ask.

Thank you for the request, anon! I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing tough times, but I hope this fic can help just a little <3 Here are a few more fics with similar comfort vibes: 1 // 2 // 3. Please enjoy ~

Word Count: 700 Tags: levi x reader, sfw, angst, hurt-comfort, modern AU

The tears had been falling for who knows how long. Blurry vision made the clock invisible, but with your sleeves damp and your eyes sore, you knew it had been some hours. Enough time that the sun had traveled from behind the clouds to beneath the horizon. A million tiny thoughts parsed over so many times, they melded together into one unfathomable weight.

Day to day, others asked how you were. Day by day, your responses grew more real. At first, you were always fine. Then, you had seen better days. Most recently, you were just tired. It was a half truth. You were tired, but not just tired.

You knew it was something more, but were almost too scared to find out. Instead of uncovering the answers, you buried them deeper down inside. It worked most of the time, but like a volcano long dormant, there was worry about its inevitable eruption. Tonight was the crack of the mantle: hot tears spilling past the brim, the flood would surely come soon.

But Levi had one friend in timing.

A rattle in your chest, a frown that began to twitch - your symptoms were slowed by the familiar sound: his key jammed swiftly into the lock. The speed with which he opened the door made your heart flutter, just that eager to come home to you. Leather briefcase met the hardwood floor, his hands free to hold you. The complicated mix of anticipation and anxiety resulted in a whimper - one that raised his brows and added adrenaline to his arrival.

By a palm pressed to the wall, Levi flung himself around the corner. Bangs whisped in whiplash as he hurried a glance towards you. Instinctively, you attempted a smile - but that fragile attempt concerned him even more. His ability to read a situation was innate, and already, he saw that look as a sign of a greater phenomenon: how you had been hiding your feelings. It hurt his heart to think that you could not be your true self, even in front of him.

Levi toed off his shoes, shouldered off his jacket, loosened his tie on a slow walk to you. It was almost as if you had planned it - how perfectly he squeezed in beside you - it was almost as if it was meant to be. Fittingly, that was how it felt the moment he embraced you, everything right where it was supposed to be. Your head on his shoulder, his arm around your waist. One hand on your thigh, the other thumbing the tears from your cheek. It was then that finally you felt you could exhale.

He could have told you about the long day he had, about the horrendous traffic on his commute, about all the little intern brats who could not send a fax to save their life. Before he laid eyes on you, those thoughts had been simmering, but when you were in this state - there was nothing else on his mind. In your presence, everything vanished.

This silent hug, his still presence - it was a little moment, one that meant the world to you.

And maybe you didn’t know it, but you had done the same for him.

After every long day, you had been its dessert. When he had run his throat dry with under-the-breath frustrations, you were the honey that soothed him still. In the nameless hours of sleepless nights, you were the warm milk that lulled the insomniac back to bed. The cherry on top of his good days, the refreshing mint after his bad ones.

There were times for words, times for touch. With Levi, though, he could do both. Brushing your stray locks aside, he would always clean up your messes. Breathing in rhythm with you, he was your perfect match. Kiss on your forehead, he loved you even and especially when your mind played its games. Fingers interlaced, you were in this together, in it for the long haul, and he would never let you go.

// masterlist //

#levi #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #request #angst #2022 #oneshots #anlian writes #alias's #priority #tw suicide #suicide tw #tw

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 3 hours

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pinkmoonmutual i think i have come to u about my adoring fixations on older men before. I woke up from a dream where I was hanging out with this guy I really like and it was so wonderful and perfect and exactly what I want from him....a very nice dream to have, and it fits into what ive been working on recently which is human relationships and figuring out what I want and how to have it... its difficult for me because I love people SO MUCH often after a very short amount of time, this is especially true of older people because I crave sibling affection I didn't get growing up but it happens with people my own age too. and ah idk I'm never sure how to express it to people because love and intensity are things most people only want and expect from romantic attraction. and I'm not opposed to that but especially with older men this becomes difficult because the people I love are not interested in dating people 10 years younger than them and really it would be inappropriate (this guy was my professor! not gonna happen!) and i just end up feeling really creepy and weird and not knowing what to do with this huge adoration and affection inside me. so tricky I really wish you could just be /in love/ with someone and tell them and have them see it as a nice thing and not me trying to get sex or romantic commitment from them. i wish i was a little dog so i could just curl up at his feet and have it be simple. guuuuhhhhhhhh honestly i just wanted to tell you about my crush. I only knew this guy for like a month and a half so its a bit silly but hes so pretty and smart and cool and really inspired me to live and pushed me in the direction im currently going. its just tricky tricky im probably over complicating it but do you think there's more to love than the relationships that people in our world expect? I love people like theyre a god TT .. even talking about it here feels vapid compared to how it is for me. anyway nice dream thanks universe and i hope the pinkmoonworld is nice today <3

i understand u <3 it is a vary nice day in pinkmoonworld thanku for the wish~~~i know this dilemma tho sigh , my thoughts below..

i always felt like my admiration of people was extreme & consuming , i still do to a certain extent its a big part of the reason WHY i became a bit withdrawn like i struggle w how attached i get to others. i dont want to ask for anything in return but i feel shame when people find me creepy lol. And even then, that shame isnt rly the reason i've become untrusting with my heart, cold ppl r the least of my worries, i understand them.. moreso it's dangerous for me when i encounter someone who recognizes i am This Way & instead of being plainly disinterested or aloof they consciously decide to Use my affections in a sinister manner for their own advantage. that's what's mainly caused me to bcome distant even tho i want to love those ppl too.

so despite distance i still need some outlet for these loveful feelings so i guess i've spent the past 5-ish years working on ways to be overly compassionate in a safer manner.. And a big part of that is that i rly find the purest form of love to be platonic love, when theres not really any expectations or prize for being close to someone yet u still are, that kind of love speaks the deepest to me. and it's funny because really shortly after i surrendered my quest for romantic love, like completely surrendered , is when i met SLIMBO, and thru my efforts to be a really good friend to them we ended up falling sooooooo deeply sincerely in love like nothing i;ve ever known. if we had rushed into a relationship idk if it wld be the same , like having it slowly blossom over the course of a few years w no pressure, it's the foundation upon which we could be SO deeply sure we would always be together.

So the way u speak of loving ur crush, i'd say, just continue to act kindly towards him and everyone else u encounter, with no expectations of them.. people really need this like i think everyone needs to know what it feels like to experience a True Friend a selfless friend. it's rare! i rarely meet anyone who i feel doesn't want *something* from me that i cant give them. and i dont even want to hold that against them! im just saying, what U feel is rare so u should embrace it. allow yourself to exude love as much as u can and that frequency will return to u, just like how it did for me and slimbo...And other friends ive made along the way ^_^ Follow you heart.. maybe he's older but who knows what could happen. i've dated ppl 10 years older than me cus i have always acted like grandpa. sometimes ppl will just see u for ur soul.

and maybe ur dream is pointing u in a right direction, idk, i confessed my love to slimbo a few days after having a dream that we held hands. Ofc we had been friends for 2 years by this point so the time felt right, not every dreams mean u should confess, but i feel like having a sweet dream such as that can be a sort of telepathic experience sometimes.. show a connection between you and him on the astral plane. Take time to enjoy life n enjoy having a crush too cus it can be really fun to feel that crazy over someone :] thats my thoughts.....good luck with your heart, PMD9 out !

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ask-rw-dark-au · 4 months

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Hello, you don't really need to answer this ask. I just enjoy your blog and well, idn, I just want to give a little bit of advice/encouragement. I'm bad with words, specially in English, which is not my first language, please don't take this as an insult or offense, I really tried to just come here in friendly terms (terms? That's how you said it? Idn 😅)

What I wanted to say it's, whatever you do in any fandom it's always best to do it for intrinsic motivators, specially if the fandoms are small. Having engament it's great, I'm a fanfic writer, I know that feeling of seeing any comment in my stories, but I learned long ago that I must do things for myself, for my personal enjoyment and fulfilment.

Don't get me wrong, i enjoy your blog, you will probably figure out who I am bc I'm gonna reblog stuff lmao but you know, do this for your own personal happiness, not to seek engament. I have stories from 2013 and even 2015 that to this day have no comments but I'm fine with it. I really enjoyed writing them and I'm proud of them, even if they have almost no engament at all, I wouldn't delete them for any reason <3

What I try to say it's try to not seek motivation in extrinsic motivators like engament and just do it to have fun! Do it for you, not expecting attention, but to just have fun and feel nice inside. Do gender bend, play with sexuality and relationships, explore and come out with new designs and lore, and enjoy it fully. Don't be afraid to take breaks if you need and come back when you feel like yeah, I wanna have fun with this again! I may be shooting myself in the foot since I'm saying dude take a break if you need, that it's totally fine, even tho I wnana see more of your ideas, but seriously, your personal enjoyment comes first :D

So yeah, have fun, ignore the haters and all that people that don't get what Au means can go live under a rock ;v

Have a nice day/night 😘

thank you so much for the ask !!!!! im answering it so other people can see since i think this is a really really good message,,,

i do my best to do things for my own enjoyment, and i do absolutely LOVE this au and i love making it :3333

however, ive always struggled with doing things i enjoy because of how often its ignored by friends, family, ect, so im prone to forgetting even though it was enjoyable

engagement helps me remember it exists, helps me get new ideas, and mostly helps me know that its worth posting to places. i dont enjoy doing things when nobody knows it exists, and although im not sure why, its kinda just how it goes for me idk man SHGSSGD

ive been taking breaks periodically throughout winter break, and thats why i usually answer asks in short bursts since it means they all build up and then i can answer them all at once :3 i get myself hyped to answer and then i can and it works pretty well for me,,,

fr man i think. i think that "au" is a bigpart of the "ask rw dark au"

sure, just about nothing in this au is the same as canon, but thats. thats the point of an au im just silly like that !!!!!!

ive been working on not relying on engagement to enjoy things, ive been getting better about it and i have been able to make things just because i like them

idk if it makes sense or not, but sometimes it feels like i shouldnt enjoy something when nobody else does or seems to, you know? ive struggled with people pleasing for years as well as having problems with adhd / anxiety (unmedicated) making it difficult for me to kinda just. do things guh

im not saying this bc i disagree because i dont at all i completely agree with what youre saying and i do genuinely appreciate this !!!!!

im working on getting better abt it and i think im going to delete the reblog post soon just because i dont really think its worth it, hopefully if i just keep answering asks and making designs and drawing these silly creatures ill be able to get past the worry that people dont like it and just start posting because i like it !!!

thank you so much !!!!!!!

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im-smart-i-swear · 5 months

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ive been tagged by @numbattery in a tag game thingy<3 so here we go!!

last song: last song i listened to was the garden by the crane wives

favourite color: hmmm idk blue i think

currently watching: nothing really:/

last movie/tv show: uh i. i dont remember actually.. havent watched much stuff recently....... uhh wait i rewatched home alone 2 a couple of days ago actually

spicy/savoury/sweet/sour: sweet i think

relationship status: no bitches!!!!! (insert megamind thumbs up in front of an aspec flag)

current obsession: warrior cats(has been for the past 4 years lmao) and uhh my vld ocs(thinking about them 24/7)

last thing you googled: shiro vld(<- lowkey embarassing..)(i was looking for ref for a drawing. of said vld ocs.)

im tagging @dont-leafmealone @empty-blog-for-lurking @radio-sepia , as always no pressure tho!! and if anyone else wants to participate too then go ahead:]

#tag game

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concealeddarkness13 · 11 months

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WHG 20 Prompt 3 - Chess

Tagging: @ratracechronicler, @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, @drabbleitout (also thanks for Ives!), @grailfish, @forthesanityofsome, and @pied-piper-of-hamlet!

People grabbed me and pulled me along roughly. I just stared at the floor, not fighting them. What could I do? I was so fucking weak. I just let them bring me to a room and shove me on a couch, and I stared at the wall.

Nothing made sense. No one had explained anything to me, and I was going into some kind of game with someone else supposedly, and… I clenched my fists and stood up. I was so fucking weak, and he had hurt me, and I wasn’t able to do anything about it. I stood up, glaring at the wall as if it was the reason for everything that had happened, and I screamed and ran at it and punched it just as the door to the room opened.

Whoever opened the door didn’t come in, and I looked over at them, baring my teeth. And…he was certainly pretty, in a too-perfect way, but I wasn’t about to get distracted by that. Especially not after… Anyway, he had the symbol of the Capitol on his clothes, so he was a bastard. “Who the fuck are you? What is going on?! What am I doing here?”

He released a deep breath, and I snarled more. He sounded like this was so much trouble for him already. He stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him, and I couldn’t help but tense. “You’ve been volunteered to take part in the Games, to represent this district and fight for your life.” He sounded so damn calm about it. “I’m Ives, your mentor to help you get ready for the Games.”

Unfortunately for him, I had no idea what he was talking about. But he had actually answered my questions. I blinked and stared at him. “What are the Games? What’s a mentor? What are all these words? I don’t…I don’t know anything!” Tears blurred my vision and I growled about it.

"The Games is a death match, where people from each district are pit against one another, until there’s only one person standing.” He pressed a hand to his chest. “It’s the job of the mentors to train and teach you in hopes of heightening your chances of winning.” He walked closer inside, and I tensed, but it was just to get to a chair and sit down. He folded his hands in his lap, looking expectantly at me.

His eyes were pretty, but when they looked straight at me, it felt like he was looking straight into me. Still I untensed. At least he was answering my questions. “I don’t remember anything before two days ago. I only know my name. I was forced in this because I’m a monster, right?”

He frowned. “Not in my opinion,” he said quietly. “I have no reason to think you’re a monster. It sounds as if the people doing the forcing should be the monsters, shouldn’t they? Will you tell me your name?”

I walked a bit closer. He was actually being…nice. But so had Ashont before he had hurt me. “But what if I deserve it? I don’t remember what I did. They…they told me I was a monster.” I shook my head. I couldn’t go back to despairing. “I…I’m Chess. It’s…” I couldn’t say it was nice to meet him. Not yet. “Thank you for answering my questions, Ives.”

“You’re welcome.” He nodded. “It’s nice to meet you, Chess. If you’d like, I will try anything I can to find out about your past. But I wouldn’t think that is the case in this situation.” He paused. “Would you like my coat? Is there anything I can get to help?”

That made no sense. I started nodded at the offer of a coat—I was shivering in these rags—but I stopped myself and shook my head instead. “I can’t trust you.”

He still unbuttoned his knee-length coat and took it off, leaving him in a turtleneck that totally flattered him, but I wasn’t looking. “I understand, but you’re still welcome to use my coat. If you like it, you’re welcome to keep it.” He folded it over an arm and placed it in one of the other chairs, before going back and sitting down. I snuck toward the coat as he kept talking. “I don’t expect you to trust me. Considering your conditions, but also with my association with the Capitol—those running the Games. I’m undeserving of your trust, but I will do my best to help you in any way I can.”

He looked down at the floor, sitting back in his seat. “We will be leaving here shortly, onto a train that will take us to the Capitol, to prepare you for the Games. If you’d like, I can give you space until then. But I’d like to be sure you get to the train safely.”

I finally got to the coat and snagged it, retreating back away from him before putting it on. It was so warm, and there was a distinct smell that didn’t seem like cologne. I couldn’t place it, but it made me feel safer. “Who chooses the mentors? And what will happen at the Capitol? Where will the fight to the death happen?”

“Someone at the Capitol.” He shrugged. “Much like you were made to get on that stage, I was made to be a mentor. Once we get to the Capitol, there will be a few events before the Games. Interviews, something they call the Chariots—where you’ll practically be dolled up and put on display in hopes of gaining support by those who can send you helpful items in the Games. There will also be days of training, ways to show off your skills for support as well. The area the fighting takes place in changes every year. I’m sorry I don’t know much about what’s to expect there.”

“If it’s just a random person in the Capitol, how are you qualified to be a mentor?” Knowing her luck, she had a dumbass who had no idea how to fight.

Ives breathed out slowly, looking around the room and landing on a bookshelf. “I was a victor. The Games from three years ago. I won.”

Oh damn, that sucked. I sighed, shrugging my shoulders. “At least I didn’t get someone who doesn’t know how to fight. But also, fuck all that shit, the Capitol, the Games, all of it. I’m sorry you had to go through this too.”

“No, you didn’t.” His voice sounded hollow. “I appreciate your condolences, but we should focus on you. Like it or not, things are happening. We need to get you ready for anything.”

I glanced at him. He looked sad. Well, at least his eyes did. His face was a perfect neutral mask. “You want to talk about that? I don’t know anything else, really.”

He nodded. “We can. We need to find the way you like to fight, or the style you’re best at. What your qualities are. Is there anything you can remember that might help with that? Any skill?”

I frowned, wrapping the jacket closer around me as I thought. But there was nothing. No hints of a past. “I don’t remember. I was told these prosthetics were from some kind of experiments, but I don’t know anything about them. I guess at the training, I can see what I’m good at.” And I was far too weak, but I’d never admit that out loud.

He nodded. “I agree. I think that’s going to be the best time to find out. The interviews…they’ll be uncomfortable, to warn you. They’re dehumanizing, every step of the way. The interviews, the Chariots, the Games. It’s all for entertainment. Meant to rile and rise. Understand it isn’t personal.”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “It might be, just to warn you. They said these prosthetics make me a monster.”

“They’re wrong. That’s no grounds to label someone a monster. Now, if you remember some unspeakable crime you’ve committed, we’ll discuss grounds of being a monster then. But regardless, prosthetics or not, here you are. I’m willing to do whatever I need to, to prepare you to be the best going into the Games. Can I expect the same from you or should I lower my standards?” He sounded aloof, but that was better than being too close and sounding too kind.

I blinked and looked over at him. “I don’t intend to die.”

“That’s all I can ask.” Ives nodded. “First thing I would suggest is eating every meal. You’ll need the energy and all the strength you can get. Besides, if the Capitol is paying for everything, you might as well try to empty their wallets.”

I had to get strong any way I could, and spite was an amazing motivator. “I can do that.”

“Then you should start as soon as you get on the train. I’ll ask to have clothes brought for you to change into. It may be an overnight ride. You should rest, as well.”

No fucking way was I gonna fall asleep and let myself be that vulnerable for that long. So I just nodded.

He waited a bit before he continued. “I think we should take things one at a time to not overwhelm you. But, for now, do you have any questions for me? Or anything I can ask for you?”

I shook my head. “I…I don’t think so. But I’ll probably think of some questions later.”

“Well, feel free to ask them any time.” He nodded, slowly standing. “I can give you a moment if you like, wait outside the door? I’m sure it won’t be long before they’re ready to move us to the train."

I couldn’t stand staying here any longer than I had to. I shook my head. “I just want to go. I hate this room.” He nodded and led me out, constantly glancing behind him to look at me, probably to make sure I didn’t run.

#writeblr hunger games #whg #writeblr

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