ugh do you ever just think about how, in the raven boys, you get most information about ronan from gansey and what you learn about ronan from gansey is just that gansey misses the old ronan but just love ronan so much that it doesn’t matter that he’s different (and really who wouldn’t be different after what happened to him). and gansey is so worried that he’s lost ronan and is ready to do anything to keep him. and really trb features gansey grieving for the old ronan. and how then in the dream thieves, ronan gets his own pov and we see that ronan is grieving for his old self too. ronan is stuck between selves and can’t find his way back to his old self or to a more comfortable, stable new self. and so he wants to go home. because the barns are where he felt safe and loved and free. and by going home, just for a while in secret, he gets to be the softer, kinder version of himself. he reverts back to the person that asks gansey if he can go see his mom. and i just can never not think about the complexities of ronan lynch and about how gansey works to understand Every complexity because he wants ronan to be known and loved.