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morgana-larkin · 19 days

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Me againnnn lmao I have another request could u do Melissa x reader where reader is normally quiet but someone brought up their special interest and everyone is kinda weirded out coz reader gets so happy and starts talking about it and sharing facts and stuff but no one except Melissa knows reader is autistic and someone says something mean to reader and she gets upset and Melissa comforts reader and also stands up for her (as always no pressure I’m so so so happy! u r the first person that iv come across who writes fics about Melissa and autistic reader I get so happy when I see a notification from u i literally jump up and down with happiness and your fics really help me to accept im autistic coz I’m still trying to come to terms with it anyway hope u r doing well🫶)

OMG YES! Info dumping! I love it. And I’m so glad my fics are helping you. Feel free as well to message me directly if you ever want. So my other obsession besides Lisa Ann Walter, is Doctor Who and Jodie Whittaker, so of course I chose to have the reader talk about her as the Doctor… I regret nothing 😊. I went a little extra at the end but I’m too gay for Melissa to care. Anyway, I enjoyed writing this so thank you for the prompt and I hope you like it! As always, not edited in the slightest.

For everyone, feel free to keep sending me prompts, and I was thinking about writing a one shot about Cheesy as there’s not enough imo. Let me know if I should or not.

Title based off the song from Shrek 3 and the Italian word stronzo means asshole.

Thank You for Letting Me Be Myself

Warnings: someone is mean to reader, reader struggling with having autism(small part)

Words: 2.3k

You’re sitting in the break room at the table with Barb and Melissa. You get up to get a coffee and when you do you hear someone starting to talk about Doctor Who and you perk up.

You turn around to see Jacob, Mr. Morton and another teacher talking about it. “You guys watch Doctor Who?” You say and they stop talking and look up at you. Normally you’re quiet and don’t really say much as you’re recharging before you go and have to teach your kiddos again.

“Yes, do you watch it?” Jacob asks you and you nod with a big smile. Melissa looks up at you and sees your smile and she can’t help but smile herself. She’s had a crush on you since about 4 months after you started and it’s almost been 9 months that you’re working here.

“Well come here and share your thoughts about it.” Jacob says and you walk over to them, coffee in hand.

“What exactly is your discussion about?” You ask them.

“About the first female doctor, the 13th doctor.” Mr. Morton says and you keep smiling.

“She’s my favourite doctor! Like she’s so enthusiastic and passionate and she just loves everything about what she does! And she’s so funny too, it’s just a joy to watch Jodie play her!” You start and they look at you confused, wondering why you’ve always been quiet but now you’re talkative.

The truth is, you're autistic and the only one that knows is Melissa and she promised not to tell anyone since it’s your secret not hers. You told her because you felt like you kept missing social cues or taking things too literally, so you wanted someone in your corner to help you and she had no problem doing that for you. She looks at you talking so passionately about your favourite show with a smile and heart eyes before going back to her phone, secretly still listening to you.

“And her Tardis is so amazing, oh and her companion’s compliment her so well, and her outfit looks amazing. Did you know that Jodie helped decide on the outfit to support the LGBTQ community since she’s a huge ally. And also…” and you keep going on for about 5 minutes about how much you love the 13th doctor and her era on Doctor Who. Until the other teacher, you don’t know their name, the one Mr. Morton and Jacob were talking too, says something.

“OMG! Would you please shut up!” He says and you quickly shut your mouth. “I preferred it when you didn’t speak at all.” He says, glaring at you. And you look down at the ground, embarrassed before running out of there.

Melissa looked up when he started speaking and is now getting up and walking over to them. “Hey! Don’t talk to her like that. You should count yourself lucky that I won’t contact one of my guys on you.” She says and looks at Jacob. “Why didn’t you say anything?!?” She says to him “or you?” She says to Mr. Morton.

“Sorry Melissa, it all happened so fast.” Mr. Morton says and Jacob nods in agreement.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” She says to the teacher that was mean to you.

“Hey, we were just sitting here talking about it until she cuts in and starts talking about everything that we weren’t even discussing. And she wouldn’t stop talking.” The teacher says , only making a deeper hole for himself. Melissa glares at him.

“I don’t care what you think! There’s better ways to do that!” She says to him.

“She shouldn’t have talked so much and knew that it was too much.” He says, still trying to defend himself.

“She’s autistic you stronzo!” She yells at him and then realises that she just told your secret and has wide eyes. All 3 of them look at her speechless, now understanding that you got excited and were info dumping and didn’t mean to talk so much. Melissa turns around and walks out of the break room and goes to find you.

She ends up finding you in your classroom crying on your chair, hugging your legs. She knocks on the door, “hey y/n it’s me, just wanted to come check on you.” She tells you.

You get up and unlock the door then open it. Melissa’s heart breaks a bit when she sees you. Eyes puffy, red and watery, tear stained cheeks and red nose from you blowing your nose.

“Oh hun.” She says and you walk back to your chair hugging your legs again. Melissa walks in and closes and locks the door then walks over to your desk. “Hey, he was an ass, he shouldn’t have said that to you.” Melissa tells you and crouches down and you look at her.

“No, he’s right, I was talking too much. I shouldn’t have gotten involved in their conversation. I just got so excited,” you tell her and you sniffle a bit.

“Hun, it’s understandable, I know how much you love Doctor Who. You have nothing to be ashamed about.” She tells you and grabs your hand. “Btw I might have accidentally told them that you’re autistic. As in I told them and called that teacher a stronzo for you.” She tells you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to slip out, I just got angry that he was mean to you.” She says, rubbing your hand with her thumb.

“It’s ok, they would have found out eventually. But this is another reason I don’t engage in conversations, cause I might talk too much.” You tell her. Melissa gets up and opens her arms out.

“Come here.” She tells you and motions to hug her. You put your feet down on the ground and then hug her waist since you’re still sitting in your chair. “Why don’t we go back in there, finish lunch. And then after school you can come to my place and I can make you some food and we can watch whatever you want.” She suggests and you look at her surprised.

“Really?” You ask her and she nods. “I would love that.” You tell her and she smiles. She helps you up and then unlocks the door and opens it for you. You both walk out and she sees you’re nervous about going back. She puts an arm wrapped around your back and her other hand on the arm closes to her and rubs it, providing comfort for you.

You get back in and when you enter everyone stops and looks up at you. Melissa can feel you immediately tense up. “What are all youse looking at?” She says and glares at everyone. Everyone immediately looks back down to their phone or food and continues what they were doing. Melissa leads you back to the table where Barb is and Barb gives you a comforting smile.

The teacher that was mean to you gets up and comes over to you. Melissa sees him coming over and glares at him, almost daring him to hurt you again. He has his head hanging a bit, looking embarrassed and stands beside you and you look up at him.

“Hey y/n, I just wanted to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, I’m sorry.” He tells you and you nod your head at him. You’re too overwhelmed right now and can’t speak. You finish your lunch without saying another word and Melissa keeps glancing at you, worried about you.

You finish up the day quietly. You get the kids to work on their book report so that it’s silent and you don’t have to talk much. At the end of the day, when your last student was picked up you glance over at Melissa down the hall. You taught first grade so your classrooms are close together.

You can’t help but stare at her. She’s bending over and offering one of her students a high five before waving bye to them to go with their parent. You decide to leave now while she’s distracted, you think that maybe it wasn’t the best to get Melissa involved in your situation and shouldn’t have told her you’re autistic. So many people have had to accommodate you or help you and you feel like you should be able to do it yourself now that you’re an adult.

Melissa sees you look at her with a sad expression on your face before leaving. She can’t help but feel like maybe you won’t come over to her place now. When her last student is leaving with their parent a couple minutes later, she practically books it to the parking lot but sees your car is already gone.

She drives home and gets to work on cooking dinner, hoping you’d show. But then she gets a text from you saying that you won’t be able to make it tonight, and she sighs. She researched autism when you told her a few months ago and she knows that when autistic people get overwhelmed, they hide themselves away. She offered for you to come to her place to de-stress with food and tv, so she does the next best thing. After she finished cooking, she packed it into a container, and brought it with her to your place. She went and knocked on your door.

You answered it not too long later with leggings and loose shirt on. “Melissa? What are you doing here?” You ask her.

“Well since you won’t come over to my place, I thought I’d come to you.” She says with a warm smile and you now feel even more guilty for cancelling on her. “I brought over food I made. So either we can eat here or we can go back to my place. Choice is up to you.” She tells you with a shrug. You decide to go to her place and when you get there she gives you your favourite hoodie of hers and you sit on the couch. You’ve been to her place before and you told her that the plastic felt weird to sit on and she removed it the next day so that you’re comfortable when you go there. “Hey, you don’t have to speak but I just want to know that you’re ok.” She says and you nod. She gives you a plate of the food and you see that it’s her spaghetti and meatballs dish. Your favourite food of hers and you smile at her. She joins you on the couch, sitting next to you and then hands you the remote so you can decide what to watch, you decide on Shrek 3.

You watch the movie while eating, with Melissa right next to you, you in her hoodie, and you finally feel like you’re calming down. You put your head on her shoulder after you put your empty plate on the coffee table and she wraps her arm around you. You continue the movie, quoting some of the lines, and when it plays the ending scene with puss and donkey singing thank you, Melissa gets an idea. She guides you up and leads you to the empty space beside her couch and starts dancing with you. When the chorus comes on she sings it to you “I wanna thank you for lettin me be myself…again” She sings and you laugh. When she says the line again, she spins you while singing. The second chorus comes up “come on sing it with me.” She tells you.

The both of you sing it while dancing “I WANNA THANK YOU FOR LETTIN ME BE MYSELF…AGAIN.” You both sing at the top of your lungs. When it ends you’re both laughing and she hugs you.

“Thank you for letting me be myself.” You tell her and she looks at you with a warm smile and places a lock of hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek.

“It’s not a problem hun, it doesn’t matter to me that you’re autistic you know. You just think differently, and that's alright.”

You look in her eyes and you lean forward and kiss her. Melissa kisses you back and moves her hand from your cheek to the back of your head and places her left hand on your waist. You pull back and look at her with a smile.

“You kissed me back.” You say to her and she nods. “Why?”

“Because I like you. I have for a few months now.” She tells you.

“For how long?” You ask her and she thinks about it.

“Around the new year.” And you look at her in shock.

“But that’s after I told you I was autistic.” You tell her, putting the pieces together. “You knew I was autistic and you still like me?” You question her.

“How would you being autistic make me not like you?” She asks you, confused.

“Because I’m different than other people and have struggles because of it.” You tell her like it’s obvious.

“So? Everyone is different in their own way and everyone has their own struggles.” She tells you. “For example, I have trouble letting people in, because of trust issues. And I can have a short temper too.” She says and you look at her with so much love in your eyes. You kiss her again and she doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back.

When the person says “you may kiss the bride” , she doesn’t hesitate to give you a kiss then either. With a huge smile, she brings you closer to her and gives you a kiss, as wife and wife.

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Let me know if you want to be added! 🙂

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti #x reader #fanfic

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pedropascallovebot · 3 years

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Let's Kill Tonight

summary: You're a bit out of practice, but being entrusted with the retrieval and return of Helmut Zemo shouldn't be too hard, right? Even if he is your old sorta-boss and you still are nursing unfortunate loyalty towards the team. You can manage. And him being... slightly more attractive than how you last left him won't be a problem.

Right?

warnings and a/n: i have.... no clue what this is if not a complete rewrite of mcu canon purely for self-indulgence. reader has a kinda shady past and in result will talk graphically about violence in later chapters and there's lots of gun action in this one. very fun, very cool! alright. i hope y'all enjoy teehee

—

The weather where you're at doesn’t usually vary much from a sunny sky, but alas, you’re absolutely drenched by the time you step inside the diner. You hadn’t expected the rain. Your usual five minute walk to work turned into a hike through muddy sidewalks and water droplets that kept hitting your eyes, and by the time you tied your apron around your waist the day felt over before it even started. Your boss gives you a closed-lip smile and glances at your empty section of tables, and you just know you’re going to be late on rent again.

For what it’s worth, Lüleburgaz isn’t the worst place to slip under the radar. It’s not underpopulated by any means, but it makes it perfect to blend in with the crowd as best you can. Honestly, you're just trying to make it a day without a proper therapist. Your roommates are great listeners, don't get it twisted- but all they really know about you is you're Sokovian and they don't really need to hear about the stuff that happened before your country was crushed by some guys in tights and iron suits. They don't ask you much, and you're grateful. After an unfortunate five-year gap in employment (which isn’t your fault- it’s kinda hard to find jobs when you’re reduced to dust unexpectedly) you were lucky to find somewhere that was willing to hire you without a legally issued identification card and that was also willing to pay in cash under the table. You broke out the books and attempted to learn the language as best as you can, and while you're struggling a bit, you can at least understand the menu and what a customer is ordering. It was far from ideal- ideal would be completely erasing any trace of memory regarding you and your… history, so to speak, from anybody who has the potential to be a threat to you. Ideal could also be an island somewhere, maybe Praslin or Nassau, where you could swim in clear waters and drink copious amounts of fancy fruity drinks instead of whatever liquor your roomies had hiding under the counter. But until that happens, being on the sorta-run for some questionable past career choices seems to stick.

Said questionable career choices led you to be introduced to a network of interesting people, some less horrible than others, but all of them carried the same unmistakable signal of danger displayed in flashing lights above their heads. When you hear the bell to the restaurant door jingle, signaling the arrival of someone new, that weird gut feeling activates and your eyes flicker up to see a pair of high heels and sunglasses, even though the sun hasn’t been out all day. Everyone else eating their food don’t even spare a glance to the door. This should comfort you, it should tell you that you're fine and that there's nothing to worry about, but it absolutely doesn’t and suddenly you’re inconspicuously making your way to the back, muttering something to your boss about taking your break early. Ripping off your apron, you throw it to the side and let it land on the ground next to you, and you lean your head against the brick wall behind you. Your fingers are twitching as the pressing issue of impending doom continues to rise in your gut. You barely register the creaking sound of the back gate opening.

“Do you want a cigarette?” Suddenly, you’re in fighting stance as an unfamiliar voice speaks less than a foot away from your ear. You don’t recognize this new face, but she looks expensive and entirely too out of place for a diner that receives in its eggs already prepared and frozen.

“I’ll take that as a no, then,” she continues, and fishes a lighter and pack out of her coat pocket. “Good choice. These things will kill you- and so will this godawful food you serve here. What a relief that after today you won’t step foot in this place ever again, huh?”

Your mouth opens to say something, but you decide against it. Instead, you slightly lower your fists, keeping your eyes trained on her seemingly unbothered expression. She takes a long drag of her cigarette before giving you any more information. The silence is deafening, and you mentally take note of the clear path you have through the open fence and towards the street if you chose to run. Something tells you this lady didn’t arrive here on foot though, and she probably had an expensive vehicle waiting out front waiting to catch up to you if you chose to make a break for it.

“You’re jumpy- probably a little bit out of practice from the whole ex-assassin thing, right? I can work with that. I have to applaud you: as far as hide and seek spots go, this wasn’t horrible. We’ll have to improve your people skills, but-“

“Who are you?”

You grow increasingly frustrated as it starts to sprinkle again, leaving you cold and wet as your company opens an umbrella she had previously stored away in her coat.

“I don’t like being interrupted, so let’s not make it a habit, hm? My name is Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, and you’ve become annoyingly important to my cause. Come on, we’re leaving.”

She begins to walk towards the gate, but you stay put, beginning to toy with the idea of unsheathing the knife stored in your boot.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, lady.”

This makes her turn around and sigh in frustration.

“The way I see it, you have two choices. Go back and finish bussing tables so you can make an extra couple dollars, or come with me so we can talk real business. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the only one between the two of us that poses a threat. I’m not the one with weapons hidden in my clothes, am I?”

Your eyes narrow, but you don’t argue. Instead, you hesitantly join her in her path towards a gaudy car (you knew it) that looks way too out of place to be in this parking lot. For a split second you consider going back and giving your manager somewhat of a notice of your absence, but Valentina’s walking so fast that you don’t really have time to continue considering.

“By the way, I distinctively said my name is Valentina Allegra de Fontaine- I don’t like to repeat myself, don’t make me do it again.”

You barely have time to sit down before Valentina is barking directions at her driver and scolding you for getting rain water in her backseat. You remain silent, and a little bit uncomfortable as Val finishes her cigarette completely before bothering to inform you of whatever the hell she’s got going on.

“Tell me what you know about super soldiers,” she finally gives, crossing her legs and glances at you expectantly.

You search her face for any kind of indication that she’s kidding, but she seems serious. It kinda feels like your soul is being stared into and you want to look away but you can’t. What does she not know about super soldiers that she can learn from you and not from literally anywhere else? Admittedly, all you know is what clips of newspapers would give you. Something about rogue experimentation, something-something Winter Soldier, and then, most recently, the Flag-Smashers and the rumors flying around that they've got some serum floating around. All of this seemed to be public knowledge though. Nothing a woman who’s willing to corner people in the backlots of their jobs couldn’t find out from a simple Google search.

“I asked you a question, didn’t I?”

“I can’t say I know much.”

For what feels like the millionth time in the span of twenty minutes, she sighs, bringing out her cell phone and starts punching some buttons.

“And what about this man? Does he ring a bell?”

You do your absolute best to not look as tense as you feel when out of the corner of your eye you see a familiar face in a tiny, grainy picture. She shoves the device in your hands, and right there center of the screen is-

“Zemo, right? That was a trick question. Hard to forget the face of your old boss, I’d assume.”

Suddenly, you’re upright in your seat, the earlier feeling of danger settling right back into place. Valentina, of course, just lets out a laugh, while you’re planning on swan-diving out the damn window.

“The Colonel isn’t my boss,” you protest, and a burning sensation makes its way to your throat.

“Isn’t he though?” Valentina is now fully turned towards you, her hand reaching to grab the phone back. More buttons are pressed, and she’s reading your name from an official looking online database. “It says here you’re wanted in a lot of countries, huh? I wonder why that is- oh, look at this, would you? Seems like your name and EKO Scorpion are mentioned in the same sentence at least three times just on this page.”

Your eyes narrow, and you waste no more time in grabbing your gun from your coat pocket, and Valentina seems to have the same idea, the phone in her hands is now replaced with a much newer and nicer pistol than you’re carrying. It’s silent in the car for a few seconds, and the driver in the front dares not move a muscle. Val is the first to break, and she lowers her weapon with a shit-eating grin you’re growing tired of seeing.

“Let’s start over. You’re associated with an elite death squad assigned to defend the interests of a country that’s no more than a pile of rubble and dead memorial flowers on the ground. You never had an official invitation, but they paid you good enough money for you to get your hands dirty for them. Too bad that without a leader, your little syndicate fell apart, didn’t it? Unfortunate, what happened to him really. And how inconvenient it must have been for you- I’m sure the law doesn’t usually side with individuals associated with terrorists. Luckily for you, you had a five-year break from being on the run.”

The urge to fall back into old form and pull the trigger at the slightest sign of trouble starts to rear its ugly head, but you take a deep breath and try to align your focus to your current situation. This doesn’t have to be deadly. She knows your history, she knows your name. She could just be blackmailing you. Easy fix, offer her better information on individuals that are far, far away from you. You’re sure you can think of something juicy enough to entertain her and fray her interest in you. This doesn’t have to end in a gunshot. She has access to all of the shit you’ve done. You don’t know what she knows. She could be from the American government. Kill her, and lessen the risk of being thrown in a prison cell to rot.You’re desperate, and you’re scared, and it’s making you vulnerable. You take another deep breath in, and lower your gun.

“What do you want?” Valentina falls back into her seat, clearly very amused by the entire situation now that guns weren’t drawn.

“The Flag-Smashers are becoming increasingly difficult as they’re forming alliances with seemingly every gang of mercenaries for hire. The serum belongs in the hands of someone who knows what to do with it, don’t you think?”

This lady is clearly out of her mind, but you’re too far in now and you don’t feel like questioning her on her morals or the ethics of this situation.

“I don’t want any business with Morganthau, and I don’t care about super soldiers. If that’s all you need me for, you might as well find someone else.”

“Who said anything about you dealing with Flag-Smashers? No, for you,” she starts, grabbing the phone once more and resuming that annoying clicking as she searches through various links, “I have a slightly less… hazardous task. No killing involved, sadly. I’m sure your lovely skillset will keep until it’s needed, but you will be finding Zemo for me, where I can pay him far too much money so he’ll kill the Flag-Smashers for me.”

It’s your turn to laugh, now. “In case you haven’t heard, Helmut Zemo is rotting away in prison for the rest of his life. How is he going to be of any help to you?”

Valentina doesn’t bother giving you a verbal response, just shoves that damn phone in your face again. You glare at her before your eyes skim over the article. Breakout. Zemo. The Falcon. Prison. You curse internally, and she lets her arm fall back to her side. You realize you haven’t been paying too much attention to where the driver was taking you both until you feel the vehicle holt to a stop, and you look up to realize you’re in a parking garage, and the faint sounds of airplanes fly overhead.

“As of now, you and I are a two-man team, but this won’t be the case for long. Zemo is with Sam Wilson and James Barnes in a safehouse in Riga. You and I aren’t the only ones looking for him, however, which makes your job a little tricky, but I don’t have much faith in the guy assigned in returning him to Berlin.”

“Who is he?”

“I assume the name John Walker doesn’t need an explanation?”

You shake your head.

“Walker can be of use to us, and we’re gonna need him- just not yet. What I need from you at the current moment is to make sure you get to these coordinates,” the driver is suddenly handing you a slip of paper with numbers scribbled on it, and you take it, “before Walker gets Zemo.”

You inhale, and Valentina gives you a look.

“I assume you have a question?”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to get Walker on your side sooner? Maybe if you could say the right thing, persuade him to bring Zemo to us-"

Valentina cuts you off with a scoff. “What? That if we tell Captain America to hand over an international prisoner so we can extract information and hire him to kill for us he’ll do it? Walker wants one thing right now: he wants that serum. Coincidentally, your friend Zemo wants that serum gone. IF we get to him first, which you will, he’ll be more than happy to oblige. Walker is at a tipping point, but he’s not useful to us. Yet. We just have to wait until he's vulnerable.”

She takes your silence as an okay to continue. “Get to Latvia, find Zemo. Use that pretty face of yours to charm him into coming with you, maybe share some war stories around the campfire. I don’t give a damn how you get it done. Walker’s already halfway there by now.”

You are really starting to question how Valentina is getting her information, but before you can say anything else, she’s motioning for her driver to slide another piece of paper in your hand. Your eyes go wide at the numbers listed after a dollar sign.

“I assume this would be enough to cover your services?”

You look up at her, nodding your head slightly.

“Half now, half when you bring him to me,” she finishes, and the driver is unlocking your side of the car. “It looks like we’re in business then.”

#helmut zemo #helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo x reader #helmut zemo x you #fanfiction #complete disregard for canon #marvel #mcu #i wrote this when i should of been sleeping

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norgestan · 4 years

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i’ll make a little exception to this break i’m taking to confirm that the leaked script said exactly what happened in the clip, so i’ll safely assume that the rest is correct. because of that, i’ve wanted to translate every part that we haven’t seen on the clip, plus the one that came out just now.

take in mind that the script doesn’t detail who is saying what, when a clip ends and other starts, but i’ve done my best to decipher it. whatever i haven’t, well, i still translated the whole thing. excuse any mistakes, spanish is my first language but sometimes i can get lost with idioms. so it’s all here, under the cut. MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRETY OF EPISODE 3:

LUCAS EXTRA CLIP #1

[scoffs] K: Hi, Lucas. L: Hi. K: Long time no see, right? L: Mmm. K: Let's drink something? There's a bar right around the corner that has drinks that will blow your mind. L: I thought that you muslims didn't drink alcohol. K: Well, I do. L: Right. K: Look. There's a lot of things about islam that I don't like, okay? And there's other things that I've really loved since I was a kid. I'm keeping the ones I like. You know what you could say? That I'm a flexible muslim. L: Pfft. Flexible. And what is it, aren't you a f*g too? Or how does it work? K: When I met you, I didn't have it all clear. L: And now you do? K: Lucas, well now maybe I do. Maybe I do. But Amira doesn't know anything. Will you tell her? L: Is this why you wanted to see me, right? K: No. It isn't only for that. I really liked seeing you again. L: Come on, Kasim, you completely ignored me. And now you say you liked seeing me again. K: It's the fucking truth, shit. I had a fucking mess in my head. But no more. No more. What? Join me for a drink? L: No, dude, I'm going home. And don't worry, I won't tell any of your stuff to Amira. But you should do it. K: And so I will. Really. L: Okay. Bye.

CLIP 3

D: This is weird. Right? A: Yeah, a little bit. D: Well, do I speak first or...? A: No, no, no. I go first, yeah. D: Yeah? A: Better. [both laugh] D: Okay. A: Let's see. It's clear that we both like each other. I mean, sorry, that I like you, I like you, and you like me too. D: And I like you. A: And, well, if I were any other girl, then we could start hooking up and see how it all goes, but... I'm not like that. D: Right. A: In islam, it's the contrary. No hooking-up at the beginning and then we see how it goes and then we have sex... No. We start serious from the beginning and the rest comes behind. D: Okay. A: But I'll get it if you tell me no. We'll pretend nothing has happened and we go back to what we were before. D: Eh, eh, eh. I said "okay". You're not telling me anything that I don't know. I know you don't eat pork, you pray five times a day, and that we won't kiss on the first day. But I don't care. A: Okay, but it's not only that. D: Yeah, I figured. But if I didn't think I could handle it, I wouldn't have come. A: I've brought something with me. It's a practice that us muslims... Well, not really, no, but I do it. D: [laughs] Okay. A: And so, when we start a relationship, we make it clear from the beginning what do we expect from said relationship. And I've made a list. D: Like a contract or something like that? A: Well, it's not that huge, but yeah, something like that. D: Uh-huh. A: For example... D: Let's see. A: In relationships between muslims, there can't be physical contact. D: Not always. There can be exceptions. A: Right, yeah. One thing is to greet each other with a fist bump, and other thing is to kiss. D: Yes, I know that we can't do that until time comes by and we make it official. A: Until we get married. D: Ah. A: Some people do it super quickly, because of that, so they can have sex as soon as possible, but... I don't wanna do it like that. If I get married, because that's other thing. Because what I want to do first is... study a career. D: Okay. A: My priority: studies, that's one of the things. D: I think that's great, I mean... A: And... my kids, I want... I want to raise them on the values of islam. D: Your kids? A: Uh-huh. D: Okay. A: And for that, well... their father would have to be a muslim. D: Okay. A: So, if you and I start dating... At some point, you'll have to convert [to islam]. D: Uh-huh. A: And not because of me, not because you love me a lot and... Because it doesn't work like that. Because you want it, because it comes from you. In islam, there's no sacrifices. You do things because you want to. D: Okay, okay, okay, okay. A: You probably don't find me that cute anymore? D: Eh. Eh. I'm not blind. A: So... you already know what's there. I think I've told you everything. D: Hey, what do you say if...? Because the training starts right now. I think we should... well, think about it and give us some time... to reflect on this. A: Yeah, of course. D: So that's that. We're talking? A: We're talking, yeah. D: Eh, bye. A: [sighs]

CLIP 4

(This conversation happens between las labass girls, probably Elena and Noor) X: And so nothing, girl, this woman takes her phone and makes it like she's taking a selfie, but she was taking a photo of me, it was obvious. Y: Really? X: Yeah. Y: I hate when people do that. It's like we come from another planet or something. X: Totally. Y: You should've told her, "What? Do you want me to strike a pose?" I don't know. X: At least she didn't say "Sorry" (intentional usage of the English word). There's not a day in which people won't talk to me in English. What is it, can no one tell that I'm from Madrid? Y: It's obvious, it's obvious. X: How does it look? Y: You're gorgeous. Z: Really good. Y: Wait, you're missing a pin. X: I don't know, I really like it, but... I can't make up my mind. Z?: You don't have to make a choice. Just look at me. Y: Do you know who took [the hijab] off? X?: Who? Y: Sanem. Z?: Really? X: I saw it coming. Y?: Well, girl, come on, it's not that. But now what will happen is that people are gonna start with those comments. "Look how pretty you look now", "You did so good", "You finally broke out of your chains". X?: Totally. Y?: And all that jazz, you know? X?: And so they will look at us kinda like, "It wasn't that hard, Sanem has opened her eyes, now it's your turn." Y?: Right. Dounia?: Well, look, taking off the hijab is as hard as putting it on. X: Yeah, I already know that. I'm not criticising her, really. But the reaction from the people infuriates me, you know? And she will be criticised from every part, even muslims will say: "She didn't do it well." I don't understand why things are so difficult sometimes. Y?: By the way, everything good with Kasim, right? [everyone laughs] X?: Yeah, right? A: Dear God, you really like the gossip. X?: Dude! Y?: The gossip. A: Look, so with Kasim and I, everything's cool. We're friends and that's it. And don't trap me up like that every again. X?: Well, girl, tell that to this annoying one... D: Annoying? X?: Yeah. D: And how is that, friends? Because I've seen him like he wants to be more than a friend. A: What are you saying? No way. D: Well yes, I'm telling you. He came home talking wonders about you. And when he doesn't like someone, it's super obvious. You, come on, he loves you. I swear. Also, you like the same stuff, you have the same sense of humor. You're meant to be. Right? X?: Then maybe you found a diamond, girl. A?: A diamond how, girl? X?: Well, guys our age are horrible. And so that you can find someone who's nice and is super hot, it's like finding a diamond. D: He's super hot, he's super cute, nice, and that's what we see from the outside, but it's not only that, you know? For example, when my father passed away, he was there to take the coffin, he was there to help me and my mom to get out of that situation. I don't know what we could've done without him. He's a good guy. And when he has to be serious about something, he is. Y?: Hey, if you don't like him, it's for me. D?: Well... uh! Y?: I offer myself as a volunteer for you to trap me with him. X?: No, no, gorgeous. Kasim is for Amira, okay? We'll find someone else for you. D?: Mustafá.

CLIP 5

(This clip is a conversation between the girl squad. I can't know when a full line ends so i'll be putting the whole thing together.) That out of every person in senior year they chose you to give the speech, that's super important. No, no. But I saw it coming. It's obvious they were giving it to you, giving speeches is kinda your thing. Right, it's true. Well, I was between you and Nora. Ay, but I'm so happy. They make me talk and I won't get passed the nerves. Shut up, it's the same for me. I have to prepare really well so I don't show up and stay like this. And I don't want it either. Ay, that's so cool. Fuck, but it makes you excited, no? Pfft. Well, of course, it's the graduation. Ay! Naturally. I'm dying.

[Amira gets text message]

X: And so what are you doing then? Are you meeting up with Lucas? E: Well, I don't know, I have no clue. Because I text him and, he doesn't show up, or doesn't reply, or replies eight hours later. X?: Damn, girl, that's bad. Y: Eh! Girl, that's cool, no?

(here I don't know where a line of dialogue ends again) And what's this? It's the first year they put it up. Yeah, right, yes, it's the first year. Ay. So cool, fuck. I'm gonna get a little like Viri, but deep down, all of this makes me really excited. Naturally. Actually, this is all thanks to you. It is. I already see you in the Congress. President. Eh! I'd vote for you, eh? Uh-huh. Fuck, that's cool. Girls, I'm super late and I have to present something in class. I'm leaving now. Wait, wait! I love you. Bye. No way, dude, no way.

X: No, I won't go to class. Y: No way. Z: Alright. ?: And what's that, dude? ?: I don't know, dude, they want to look cool now or something(?). ?: But what is this doing here, dude? Now they only have to put up a stall of couscous, because other thing... ?: No way, go put those banners on their fucking country. ?: Totally, dude. (and some more filling dialogue idk how to translate ha)

CLIP 6

(This clip is probably in the association, and las labass and Kasim are there) X: You see, it's just... do you do remember the other day? Well still, you're a bigmouth, you're a bigmouth. Y: So embarrassing. X: What a bigmouth. [Speaking in arabic] ?: Have you bought pasta to your mother? ?: I bought her briouats, she loves them. Well, I love them too. ?: You love them. ?: Well, be both love them, let's leave it at that. ?: Right. A?: What are you looking at? K?: I was thinking that well, you can't show briouat. A: Right. The first and second weeks of Ramadan are good, but the third one, if you talk to me, I may be so rude it'll blow your mind. K: So you mean that you're planning that we meet each other on the third week. What's wrong? A: Come here. Hey, Kasim... the other day I had a really good time with you. I mean, it's been long since I... since I connected with someone like that and found someone so alike myself. K: That's fucking great. A: And so, Dounia tells me you also have a great time with me, and that's great because that's great. But I don't know if it's something she thinks or you really... K: What about me? A: I don't want you to think about stuff that's not there. And I wanna make it very clear now with Ramadan and all that. K: But what about me? A: I like another guy. A guy who's not muslim. What? K: Well... I also like another guy. And he's not muslim. A: A guy? K: A guy. A: And Dounia? K: She doesn't know. My family doesn't know either. A: So that means you're fooling them. K: Well, fooling them... I don't tell them everything. Look, Amira, I believe in Allah, okay? I believe in him. But I'm 19 years old. And Allah has to understand that. A: What does he have to understand? K: That if I'm 19 I get to party and get drunk and hook-up with whoever I want to. A: Get drunk? You said you didn't drink. K: I didn't say I don't drink, you assumed it. Look... You like another guy, right? A white guy. And my sister made us meet because you're single. A: Look, I don't know where you're going with that, but don't get me in a mess. K: You and I are in the same spot. You like someone else and I want to stay in my lane. Why don't we use each other? Girl, think about it. A: What do you mean use each other? K: Girl, use each other like... we use each other, fuck. It would be great for both of us, it's a perfect plan. In front of the world we pretend that we're together. You do whatever you want and I do whatever I want. You win and I win. A: You're kidding, right? K: Why would I be kidding! Think about it. A: No. I mean... How? No, no. You're crazy. K: It's a really great plan. A: No, Kasim, no. K: "No" is not thinking about it. Think about it. A: Kasim, I won't. It won't be necessary to use each other. I know that nothing will happen with that other guy, because I know it. Besides, I don't lie. I'm not like that. K: If you're good like that, then fucking great. Amira. I have to go.

LUCAS EXTRA CLIP #2

K: Lucas! Dude, Lucas! Lucas, dude. L: What do you want? K: Let's drink another one. L: Dude, but what the fuck are you doing? Why do you show up unannounced? K: You told me where you were. L: Fuck, but I didn't want... You're stalking me now or what? K: No, I'm not stalking you. I came here to tell you I told Amira the truth. L: Then good. You could've texted me that. K: Why are you acting like this? L: What do you mean why do I act like this? First, we hook-up and everything's fucking great; then, you suddenly disappear and now, you follow me like a dog. What are you doing next, go back at being an asshole? And then you'll follow me again? Fuck off. K: Do you know why I didn't call you? Because I was scared, dude. I was scared. Really scared. For me, this is super shitty. I can't upload a video to Youtube and have everyone understand me. For me, this is super complicated. Your friends are okay with this, but my environment isn't like yours. I used to go out to party and I hooked up with a guy per night. The next day, I swore to myself I wasn't gay and I wouldn't do it again. And then, I met you. And I hooked-up [with you] once, and twice, and thrice... And I wanna do it a thousand times. Just imagine my mother, what would she say about all this? Eh, Lucas? My dad passed away and I'm the only guy left. This situation is fucking shit. And my sister? How do I tell her I'm gay? Lucas, you don't understand me. L: Of course I understand you. It's not easy for me either. K: Do you know what my mother would think of all this? You don't know how much it angers me that I can't be brave and tell her I love you.

CLIP 7

D: Hi. A: Hi. D: Fuck, this looks the same like when we were five. A: Right. Do you remember that I fought you so I could be a little longer on the swing and then you pushed me? D: Of course, girl. And do you remember that one day I was pushing you really hard [on the swing] and you came back flying and got me on the face? Pum! No? A: No. D: The guy from the club came here and they took me to the ER. A: Really? D: Amy, the scar. A: Heck. D: Heck. A: Well, I kinda remember it now, it could be. It could be. D: It could be? Fuck. A: I don't know. Sorry? D: [laughs] Okay. I forgive you. Well, let's go to the point, alright? A: Yeah. D: Do you know that my parents go to church every Sunday? A: Yes. I mean, Cris has told me something like that. D: Yes. A: Yes. D: I loved going there with them. I did the catechesis, so I could do the communion. And the confirmation. A: Really? D: I went with my friends, I didn't take it seriously, but... there was something about the message that... that I liked. Until I realized that it's a lot of bullshit. A: Why? D: Well because, because there's a lot of "love your neighbor", a lot of "respect one another", but... My parents, for example, they're not tolerant. Cris doesn't even dare to tell them about Joana. A: My father says that religions, well, that islam as it is it's perfect, but it's muslim people who aren't. D: That's not true. You are perfect. A: No way. D: Yes. I remember the first time I saw you with the hijab. A: And you probably thought, "What is this crazy girl doing?" D: Well yeah, in the beginning. But then, I've been noticing, and you're, like... different. A: Well, obviously. D: I'm not talking about the hair. Look, I... I've always thought you're really... beautiful... very nice... but... you looked like every other fifteen year old girl, like my sister. But now, I see you and you're... different. But... it's a good different. I see you're more calm, more serene, more you. And then I see you and the things you do, the things you say and I think, "This is what a good Christian should be". Or a good muslim. Or whatever, because I don't care about religion. I'm not a dumbass, okay? I know it's complicated. Complicated as fuck. And that's why I made a list of the things I'll need, if we are going to date. A: Of course, yeah, it makes sense. D: And... and here it is. A: [sighs] Pfft. But, you know what you're getting into? D: Well... probably not. But... I don't care. A: I didn't scare you enough the other day or...? D: A lot. You did a good job, you did... really great, but... here I am. Right now, I would kiss you. A: And I would kiss you too.

#skam españa #skam españa spoilers #again bc it got kicked out of the tag

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blooms-of-ice · 3 years

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Wyda is officially retired...for now. She had a good run, and I loved writing for her! GOD the existential dread I felt as I drew closer and closer to running the event that would end her.

Her story continues through another. Give a follow here! :D

I’ll be keeping this blog up as an archive, although I might still post every now and again. But since her arc is done, here goes! An unedited, unfiltered slurry of words-directly-from-brain-to-keyboard about Wyda! I’m warning you, this is true farm fresh to you stuff. And spoilers for many events in FF14. Read on if you dare.

Strap in, it’s going to be a long and bumpy ride.

Did I say that I love Primals?

Primal lore gives the FF14 devs a lot of creative freedom when it comes to designing bosses. Want the arena changed? Want something/someone to look absolutely wack? Want to spin up a threat without having a villain train for years prior? Bam, primals.

It also gives us, the players, the same creative freedoms when it comes to roleplaying!

The requirements to summon one are humorously low. At first, primals result from misguided and zealous beastmen shenanigans. Ifrit, Titan, Ramuh, Leviathan, Garuda...but then we get a bunch of weird summonings. Like when Ga Bu summons a funky version of Titan through his despair alone. Or when Yotsuyu brings forth Tsukuyomi because she really, really wants to see the world burn. Hell, Gilgamesh just thinks about his friend Enkidu in the presence of some crystals, and that’s enough to bring forth a primal. So I guess the only requirements for a primal summoning are 1) crystals and 2) thinking kinda hard? Strong feelings, especially negative ones, seem to be more effective but then again! What the heck happened with Gilgamesh? Who knows?!

But this is one of my favorite things in FF14. It’s a powder keg of a situation that will, and HAS, gone off multiple times.

Being tempered, meanwhile, is a fate worse than death. You’re forced to change sides and fight for the enemy. You don’t even find peace when you die - tempered souls linger in Eorzea thanks to how messed up they are by the process. But you don’t become a mindless servant either. *Points to Emet-Selch who is....kinda...on your side (???) but also on Zodiark’s side*

Things aren’t nearly as dark now that tempering can be cured. I’m very thankful, since otherwise my campaign would’ve had a very, very depressing ending. One that I originally planned for but STILL. I’m weak. ;_;

Riding off the Rails

Primal lore is flexible. In ARR, the rules are established, but later expansions took those rules and went “Well, what about this? And this? And this?” In other words, this is me admitting that I’m shameless and will stretch this lore until I reach the moon.

Developing Wyda was a ‘chicken first, egg later’ sort of situation. Though trite, I gave her amnesia in order to give myself an excuse for knowing nothing about FF14 lore (and because I was new to roleplaying). When I finally sat down to flesh her out, my mind kept returning to primals. I love ‘em and their potential for drama! So yeah, I was determined to make it work.

There were a lot of questions I had to answer. If Wyda is a primal, then why isn’t she tempering everyone she meets?! How is she getting away with being a ‘normal’ person? And how do I avoid power creep? I know, for a fact, that if I walked into an RP event and just said...hey. My character is a primal, are you cool with that? The answer would be a solid no. Nooooo! I’d tell that to myself! So I wanted to solve these questions in a fair way that would allow others (and myself) to remain immersed in the roleplaying world. Luckily, FF14 lore is like a bottomless chest of building blocks. It was just a matter of stacking them carefully.

Primals are summoned when someone thinks around some crystals (Ah, Gilgamesh...)

The primal’s purpose is based on the summoner’s desires, but with a monkey’s paw twist (Ga Bu’s Titan punching the other kobolds away is indicative of this)

The amount of aether used in the summoning determines how powerful the primal will be (Shinryu being beefy as hell)

Primals can be summoned out of thin air, or be channeled into someone’s body

When a primal is channeled, the summoner needs the Echo to resist (Ysalye and Ryne). Otherwise the summoner is tempered by their own creation.

Now, with those blocks in hand, I started spitballing...and it led me to this thought. If a primal’s purpose is to NOT be a primal, what happens?

Would they know that they’re a primal?

Can they still use their primal powers?

What happens when the primal is based off of someone who still exists?

For Wyda, I chose to swing this way.

Her memory is garbage because she’s a primal based on someone else. Even if you know someone really well, you can’t perfectly recreate/emulate them.

She’s normal-powered because all her primal magic is going towards suppressing her powers. Extremely inefficient. And she’s very human-like because she’s possessing someone else’s body, as opposed to being made purely of primal aether.

Primals temper whether they want to or not - aether leaks, and it corrupts. To solve this for Wyda, instead of leaking aether out of the wazoo...thanks to the nature of her summoning, she just leaks a tiny bit all the time. Not enough to temper.

But I also wrote myself into a corner. If Wyda isn’t going to behave like a primal, then how does she exist for so long? They need a constant source of aether to survive, and she’s not doing primal stuff since she’s too busy being human. And so...the answer is that she doesn’t. Once her aether runs out, then poof.

See? Fun! (But also pain. So much pain.)

Playing with Fire

Eorzea (like most fantasy RPG settings) is a nightmare factory. Most, if not all, who make their living ‘adventuring’ are scarred from what they have to face. For every success story (WoL), there are countless more tragedies (Avere). And even if you survive...who wouldn’t get trauma if you were an adventurer and it was normal for your buddies to be eaten by a beast, tempered by a primal, possessed by a ghost?

Which is to say, Wyda's scars run deep. Shit goes down.

To repeat that in slightly more words: Wyda is an accidental byproduct of Cravendy’s grief and longing. At her lowest moment, Cravendy (a Seawolf pirate) thinks of her friend Dots and the unfairness of it all. And oops, there are crystals nearby. So now, we got Wyda walking around in Cravendy’s body, thinking that she’s someone named Dots. By the way, Dots is still alive! Very awkward.

Wyda is a denial incarnate. She is Cravendy’s dream for safety, family, and happiness for Dots. But denial does not erase the past, nor does it change how you feel. By existing, Wyda suppresses those feelings for Cravendy and freezes the other woman in the past. With the both of them like this, Cravendy will never accept her trauma and Wyda will be plagued with a stranger’s guilt.

Primal souls are weird. I have no idea where they come from, but they seem separate from the summoner’s. So as Wyda’s influence wanes, Cravendy’s soul begins to resurface. This forces Wyda into a cycle of self-discovery and self-destruction that, unfortunately, convinces Wyda that she ought to disappear. It’s a tragic conclusion she reaches after having her worldview shattered. She’s a copy of Dots, she’s a primal. What’s real, and what’s not? What even matters?

The Power of Love

Love is a persistent theme for all of my characters. For Cravendy, love is why she hurts, so she would rather forget it than bear any more pain. But Wyda is the opposite - she loves too much. When all else is a sham, Wyda trusts that the love she feels is real. And ultimately, this love dooms Wyda and saves Cravendy.

Wyda’s fatal flaw is her self-destructive selflessness. Thanks to being mistaken for Dots all the time, Wyda develops a low sense of self. Then events of the campaign erode that into nothingness. She’s a second rate copy full of brittle memories, she’s a fake! And discovering Cravendy’s sleeping soul only pushes Wyda further into her flaw. Here is my purpose, she thinks! My original! And I’ll save her no matter what, because she deserves to live!

But it’s a mistake. Certainly, Cravendy is saved, but Wyda deserves to be saved too. Although she loves with all her heart, Wyda never learns to love herself and see her own self-worth. She doesn’t understand that her friends don’t share her view of herself - as a worthless copy that can only find value in saving another. Her selflessness loops into selfishness.

Maybe Wyda will come back...She certainly has a lot to learn still!

The TLDR version of all this is that I accidentally pulled a Kingdom Hearts plot with this character, and now I understand, Nomura. I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU BRING BACK YOUR CHARACTERS. ;_;

#Aiswyda Nuthalwyn #me as I got myself into this mess: pain #lots of pain but #but also very rewarding #I hope you all give Cravendy a follow!! lol I keep making new blogs for organizational purposes #ff14 rp #art

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dayables · 3 years

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I'm glad you liked my yttd ramble the other day hahsjshsj. And I have some more stuff to say because this game lives rent free in my head.

I love the writing and storytelling from kimi ga shine, I really do but I think the way the later half of the second main game is structured, from a narrative point of view is kinda misleading. The whole focus of the last bit, with the Kanna vs Shin argument is on Kanna. Shin feels unsure and ungrounded so he resorts to interrupting her and abandons his calculated and calm facade he had until that point, which makes sense in a character point of view because it shows how he reacts when he is truly cornered. But it doesn't make sense considering afterwards the game clearly wants you to vote him. Honestly after playing the logic route the first time, the emotion route feels like a fever dream. It's all unicorns and rainbows and is such a contrast to the other option I wonder why we even had a choice in the first place. Unless further down the line there is some type of plot twist where our hope and optimism in the emotion route is punished I don't see why the game pushes so hard to make us feel guilty of killing Kanna in the Shin route. Honestly, after playing a chapter 3 full of internal conflict from Sara and other characters reacting to the traumatic nature of their situation, they seem so naive in the emotion route, idk if I'm explaining myself well enough. Like we fall into this weird bit where they will "for sure make it out alive" and Sara is determined to "bring everyone to safety", everything is "totally gonna be okay" and it just seems so... off? It makes no sense for them to think that right now, especially not after a failed escape attempt and seeing the way the floormasters and dolls can interfere with the game like Gashu did. (And knowing that even if they can take off their collars they will just be killed for desobying the rules from Shin's death)

On Kanna's death "cut scene" Sara literally thinks, and I quote "We need Sou to escape... / I... chose logic... / The worst possible choice..." what???? literally how? The whole point of this choice is that no matter which one it will always be a morally grey answer, there isn't a right or wrong here because either way you're killing one of your allies. And going back to the way the second main game is structured: the focus is all on Kanna so having Shin's death be the final arch for his character seems a bit out of touch. If we wanted that to be his big finale, if he's the one we're supposed to listen to, then why isn't he the one speaking for the majority of the time? The end of the discussion part is all about Kanna, Kanna's sacrifice, her whole speech about Kai's values and hope to defy the game and escape as a group, Kanna's wish to save Sou and Sara like she couldn't save her sister. Then why is listening the Kanna the worst choice? I think they were going for a "double final arch" per say, so you could in fact choose any of the two endings and still have a satisfactory conclusion but why did they have to push so hard afterwards for Shin's death to be "the right choice?". If that's just Sara's guilt speaking why doesn't she feel the same way (or at least the tiniest bit remorseful) for Shin?

And I know it's another level to the whole logic vs emotion, you either get a more satisfying narrative or a happier one but I don't think it had to be that different you know? That and the way the two deaths are handled makes it clear (even if unintentionally) that Nankidai gives priority to the emotion route. And when you can see that to this degree it makes me wonder why is this even a choice in the first place?

In conclusion, I seriously hope the emotion vs logic route isn't the thing that leads the player to a good vs bad ending. Or at least that it isn't as predictable as it seems right now, because if we are doomed right from the moment we chose to save Shin... idk it seems like a cheaper alternative to just have "save the child" as the objectively better ending. And again, I would personally make it so that the whole hero trope, happy-go-lucky nature of the characters in the emotion route would crumble somewhere during the final chapter, they can still have a happy ending but at least make it so that there are some consequences for choosing Kanna over Shin, literally anything at all. Them being suddenly almost unfazed by the deaths of their past allies is so out there it seems completely out of character. Like you said, Sara's stress doesn't come only from Joe's death and Shin's existence, it comes from leading a group of people to almost certain death, why is that no longer a problem? And if the difference between saving Kanna or Shin is more world building and knowledge later on then that needs to be a bigger difference between the routes because right now it's just Kanna good, Shin bad.

Anyways this turned out super long again but I just have. a lot of thoughts. I really do like Nankidai's storytelling, he does a very good job at it but when it comes to this? I think he made some questionable choices, I hope it becomes less linear in the future.

:DDD

Once again, this is my thoughts explained so well, so I’m going to expand with my thoughts :)

First off, the game clearly wants you to vote him. is very true. Shin’s death is nearly too perfect. Happy ending, a character arc wrapped up in a bow, constant praise for killing Shin and an even happier next part. A fever dream is the perfect way to describe the emotional route after playing logic first. Everything about it, seems so off.

What tipped me off, what really tipped me off, was Kanna’s reaction to We hin’s death. Especially when compared to Shin’s. Whether or not it’s healthy is debatable but it is at the very least co-dependant. Kanna was manipulated by Shin. Whether or not she cared for him the same way he cared for her* is up for debate.

*(we don’t have nearly enough context for a clear cut on her motives for her actions in part 2. Shin seems to be more concerned about saving Kanna specifically, while Kanna wants to save everyone including Shin. This can be linked back to her feelings of worthless. Yes, Shin is special to her, she mentions him and Sara. However, if they had not gotten close, Kanna likely would have made the same choice)

Kanna, almost didn’t seem to care that he died, that everyone else might die (from her own perception of what could happen). For someone who is wrecked by grief and death so much, she’s, just as happy as everyone else? It’s so out of character that she isn’t a teeny bit distressed.

See, the oh so happy attitude, part can be played off to Sara no longer being swallowed by self-loathing over Joe. She believes she can do it, and that will drastically affect how the part plays out. Yes, that is not where all her issues stem from. But, even that small weight could make all the difference in those moments. I’m okay with that because Sara is allowed to be unreliable. It’s the others reactions. Everyone is just like her. It’s so surreal how everyone seems have gotten their own Joe AI through someone's death?

The narrative actively pushes that choosing Kanna is the better thing to do logically, while killing Shin is foolish and a choice made from emotions. We are pushed to kill Kanna then rewarded when we save her. It’s all so jumbled. It’s all so wrong. Now from a story telling perspective, it is okay to reward us for listening to our hearts. My issue with the emotional route isn’t that it’s one big happy family, (because how much of that is Sara believing that?). It’s the concept it’s pushed to be better, happier and the ending you want.

As you said: Why is killing Shin a choice if it’s so bad?

Is it to give the player an illusion of choice?

It makes the emotion route so fever dreamish after finishing the emotion route. So jumbled. It makes it less satisfying but I believe it is for a reason.

Right now everything is too linear. We either have the most important player in this game dead, or against us. It’s not like the Reko/Alice choice. This was so major, so why is it so linear?

It’s unnerving, how happy the game is when the exact same thing is happening but bleaker when you save Shin.

It’s terrifying. Everything is the exact same, but it’s not. And it’s something i’ve seen no one else who played emotion first get. Because I don’t know if you can exactly grasp how unnerving their happiness is (I obviously didn’t play emotion first but I’ve never seen anyone point it out despite most of tumblr playing emotion first) at first.

I am terrified of the emotional route for their being nothing bad. Because they’re are bad things and good things. in the logic route.

Why is one route so happy and the other realistic? Why Nankadai? Why?

I have belief that this is purposeful. I believe a game that creates dread so easily (look at how we’re all terrified of main games, Midori, part 3b) and horror (just look at the deaths) is not creating the terror unintentionally. Especially when it’s so easy to miss.

The fact it can be taken down to Kanna good, Shin bad, is a build-up for a crash. This game built up Kai surviving longer than the first game so well and look at how that went. It takes one slip and the happiness of emotion crashes down like glass. The logic route does not need to end happier, but all Shin needs is a push and the bleakness of Logic cannot hold up.

These routes are resting on a needle. It takes so many mistakes (more than can be made in a single route) to unintentionally put them there.

There is a lot of room for this to go wrong. You’re right, it’s bad writing right now for the routes that are so linear to be so different. It’s worrying, jumbled and does not make sense. I agree with you! The choices here are questionable. ^^, I just believe these are purposeful, especially when we don’t know what’s coming next

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hxydnbxby · 5 years

Text

it’s a normal monday morning for you. you know, getting ready to go to a school you hate, riding in your best friends car, threatening to throw him out a window if he doesn’t stop changing the song when he has the aux chord. normal stuff. nothing too out of the ordinary.

well except maybe that one weird kid you pass in the halls who oddly isn’t there like he is everyday. you wonder about it, but don’t dwell too much on the topic. it’s better that way.

you continue down the halls just like any other day. you notice a few people crowded around an empty locker. ‘that’s odd,’ you think to yourself, but continue on.

“oh my gosh he’s so cute!” you hear people whisper from behind, probably talking about hyunjin, your best friend and somewhat school heartthrob. still nothing new.

you pass the office as you do everyday. usually there’s no one there, but today you notice a handsome blonde boy.

“look hyunjin there’s a new kid,” you say poking his shoulder and nodding towards the office.

“i hope he’s our age man. there has yet to be a new kid in the same year as us,” hyunjin says turning to look. “boys got freckles oh no.”

“what? lemme see!” you turn towards the boy just as he looks up at you. “aw shit he’s seen me!” you try to hide behind hyunjin, but there was no point. you would’ve been seen either way.

“let’s just go to class before you end up creeping the poor kid out,” he starts walking a bit faster with a soft laugh.

as you get to your first class and sit down, you hear people whispering about a new student coming in. ‘maybe there’s two of them,’ you think to yourself. and that’s when you know you’re wrong.

your teacher comes in, handsome blonde boy right behind him. you lay your head on your desk and sigh. there’s an empty desk next to you, so you know he’s gonna end up sitting there.

“(y/n)!” the teacher says loudly to get your attention.

“yes?” you lift your head to look at them.

“there’s an empty desk next to you right?”

“yes.”

“good. felix you can sit there.”

the boy, felix, sits at the desk next to you. he smiles shyly and you smile back.

classes go by quickly, and soon you’re walking down the school hall way from your locker, heading to your last class of the day when you spot felix. he had a couple classes with you after your first class. you smile sweetly when he notices you, walking closer to try and talk to him. everything was going so well until you saw another girl walk up to him, so you just turn around and head the opposite direction to your class.

you have a sub in math that day so you know something was bound to happen. for example, last time you had a sub, hyunjin started a paper war. the time before that, he started a notebook war. so many people were injured due to notebooks smacking them in the face. safe to say hyunjin always causes trouble when the real teacher isn’t around. but you knew today would be different from all those times. and you were right because lo and behold there was felix. right there at the front of the class. you wondered if he was even supposed to be in the class until the sub stands and introduces him.

“there’s an empty seat there next to (y/n).” the sub says pointing at you.

felix walks straight back to the empty desk with a bright smile. he sets his bag down and gets out a little notebook with a drawn on cover. you notice out of the corner of your eye that he’s doodling something on one of the pages. you smile softly as you pull out your sketchbook for art class. you had to take this chance to draw him. he looked so in his element while doodling that it would’ve been a waste not to draw him.

you spend the entire class drawing felix. only looking away from him or your sketchbook when someone threw something your way. it was a little paper football with hyunjin’s handwriting on it.

‘are you drawing the new kid already?’

‘what kind of question??? have you seen him hyunjin???? of course i’m drawing him idiot!!’ you write back and throw the football in the other boys direction. you almost don’t notice felix hand you a note as you go back to drawing him. almost, as in it was pretty obvious, since he placed the note on your desk just as you looked down.

you look over to the freckled boy a bit confused, only to be met by a shy smile from him. you inwardly coo at him, but outwardly smile back.

he leans over and whispers softly, “don’t read it until after class okay?” to which you nod and put the note in your pocket then continue drawing him.

the final bell rings signaling schools over. you wait a bit for hyunjin and walk out together.

“so what were you and freckles talking about?” he questions as you walk to his car.

“nothing.” you smile softly as you remember the note you had placed in your pocket earlier.

“not nothing if you’re smiling like that,” hyunjin pokes at your side as you whine and push his hands away. “come on tell meee.” he pesters on.

“fine but wait until we’re in the car,” you say pouting because you knew he was never gonna let this go. he just nods and starts jogging toward his car.

when you get to the car, he unlocks the doors and puts everything in the back. you immediately get in the passenger seat and throw your stuff in back too before pulling out the note felix gave you.

“are you ready for this?” you say a bit nervous. in all honesty you felt kinda bad since felix probably only wanted you to see his note. you unfold it to find cute little doodles and hearts around his message.

‘(y/n),

hi! i’m felix! i’m new here! but you know that. everyone knows that. sorry i’m an idiot. anyway. i’ve noticed that you’re in a lot of my classes, but i’m too chicken to ask you this in person. sooo would you mind if i walked to class with you from now on? sorry i couldn’t do this in person. i’m just not good with talking new people.

-felix <3

p.s you and your boyfriend are cute.’

‘he’s so cuteee!!! wait- boyfriend? what boyfriend? no boyfriend here.’ you think before letting out a loud laugh.

“jinnie i think he means you!” you say through laughter only causing hyunjin to burst out laughing too.

“why would i do myself so dirty! you’re a troll!” he smacks his head on the window from laughing which only causes more laughter.

“i’m the troll?! look at you!” you say wiping the tears from your face as you laugh. “jin are you okay?!” you cover your mouth to stop laughing after you realize he had hurt himself.

“yea i’m fine (y/n)!” he laughs softly. “i can’t believe he thinks you’re my type!”

“the poor fool!” you say as hyunjin starts the car and drives off.

the next day at school you spot felix sitting alone and walk up to him.

“hey!” you say cheerfully sitting next to him. “i’m here to walk you to class!”

“(y/n)!” he says a bit startled. “i didn’t think you’d actually say yes, considering your boyfriend and everything.”

you covered your mouth to keep from laughing but in the end it didn’t help.

“i’m so sorry for laughing. it’s just my ‘boyfriend’ is like a brother to me. besides he even has a boyfriend!” you say as you watch jeongin, a boy just a bit younger than the two of you, and hyunjin walk in holding hands. you wave them over with a bright smile. “felix, this is hyunjin and jeongin.”

jeongin gives you both a sleepy smile as hyunjin gives him a small kiss on his forehead. “i’m jeongin,” he says yawning softly.

“and i’m (y/n)’s best friend hyunjin,” he says patting felix on the head. it was an unusual thing he did when meeting new people.

“well you already know who i am,” felix says with a shy smile, grabbing your arm and clinging to you a bit.

you inwardly squeal because of how cute it was that felix had chose you to hold onto. this doesn’t go unnoticed by hyunjin either. you knew he would make sure to tease you for this later.

jeongin lets go of hyunjin to hug you lazily as he does every morning right before the bell for first class rings.

you mumble a soft ‘have a good day bubba,’ and place a light kiss on his head as he lets go. he smiles softly at you and waves goodbye to felix as he walks off with hyunjin.

felix pouts softly mumbling, ‘can we be friends like that too?’ you almost didn’t hear it. but you nod softly and smile a bit.

‘i would love that,’ you say to yourself as you start walking to class, the blonde haired boy still clinging to your arm.

“here we are lix,” you say softly to him before entering your english class. you can see him pout softly at the fact that he has to let go of you now.

“see you after class?” he looks at you with a shy smile. you nod quickly.

“see you after class.” you pat his cheek and walk in. you notice all the jealous stares coming from all the other students in your class. apparently felix already had everyone else wrapped around his finger too.

felix takes the seat behind you, seeing as it was the only other seat open, and sighs. you turn to talk to him just as the teacher walks in.

“alright class, today i will be assigning a group project.” everyone looks around for their group mates as the teacher clears his throat. “but, i will be putting you all into groups. and since we have a new addition to our class i will allow him to choose one other person to be in a group with. mr lee, you have until the end of class too-“

“i pick (y/n)!” felix cuts the teacher off rather excitedly.

“alright then,” he chuckles softly at felix. “now for everyone else.” he lists off the groups but you don’t really pay attention to what he’s saying. “you have six weeks to get the project turned in. you may get with your group and discuss.”

felix pokes your shoulder and you turn around to see his bright smile. “we get to work together!” he cheers softly.

“well duh,” you smile just as brightly. “you picked me remember!”

“oh yea! i forgot,” he chuckles softly. “sorry, i was just really happy to work with you.”

you poke his cheek as your other group mates come over to the two of you.

“hi! i’m soobin.” an orange haired boy says cheerfully.

“i’m jongho,” the red haired boy next to soobin says tiredly.

“i’m felix!” he says never losing his bright smile from earlier.

“so what should we start on?” soobin says as he pulls two desks over. you lay your head on your hand as you listen to them.

somewhere in their conversation you zone out. it’s only when soobin comes up behind you and grabs your side that you notice.

“yah! bin what’d you do that for!?” you smack his hands away, pouting.

“needed to get your attention.” jongho shrugs and turns toward you.

“you big meanies.” you huff like a child. felix chuckles softly as they start talking again.

the rest of the class flew by pretty quickly after that. before you know it the bell rings for second class.

“where to?” you ask felix as you meet him outside the door. he’s pouting at you and mumbling something you couldn’t understand.

he still clings to your arm, although this time a bit tighter. he doesn’t say anything, just walks towards his next class.

you wonder what’s wrong as he stops in front of the classroom. he still doesn’t say anything as he lets go and walks in. you wait just a minute to make sure he’s in the right class before you leave.

your next class you couldn’t pay any attention due to worrying about felix. when the bell rings you’re the first one out and going to meet felix, but he’s not there. you sigh and turn to walk away.

a hand grabs your wrist and pulls you in for a hug.

“(y/n)! i’m so sorry i didn’t talk to you earlier,” he says softly. “i was just upset that you didn’t walk out with me. i swear i’ll never do that again!”

“hey it’s okay lix!” you hug him back. you smile softly into his shoulder. ‘you give some damn good hugs.’ you think to yourself.

the day after that goes by pretty quickly. so do the coming weeks. next thing you know it’s christmas break and you’re not gonna get to see felix for a month.

you and felix have grown closer in the short time he’s been at your school. you’ve had countless movie dates with hyunjin and jeongin, went for walks after school, been to each other’s houses, he’s met your other friends. you’ve gotten comfortable enough to snuggle with him like all your other friends, but not enough to start giving him friendly kisses on his cheeks and forehead. and boy has he noticed. every time you leave a kiss on jeongin or seungmin or even woojin’s forehead, he notices their moods change instantly. he sighs softly wondering when he’ll get to know what it’s like to have that experience.

looks like today’s that day. the four of you would all be hanging out at felix’s for the last movie date with him until after new years.

it was the end of the school day and he was upset knowing after tonight he wouldn’t see you for weeks. you could see all the signs pointing to how upset he truly was when the last bell rang.

“so felix, what’re you doing during break?” you ask as you walk out with him and hyunjin.

“visiting family. opening presents. the usual. you guys?” he says with a smile. it wasn’t as bright as usual. his eyes looked a bit sad. you sighed softly. you wanted to ask him if he was okay but you don’t wanna risk it.

“spending time with jeongin and (y/n),” hyunjin smiles as he sees jeongin running down the hall to meet them. “hey babe! we were just talking about spending time with you!” he smiles even more when he hugs the younger boy tightly.

“yea that.” you say and you smile at the two boys in front of you.

“yea! lots of hot chocolate and movies and cuddles!” jeongin says letting go of hyunjin and giving you a hug.

you laugh softly as the two of you almost topple over due to the force of jeongin pretty much throwing himself at you. felix moves behind you two to stop you both from falling on the ground. he chuckles softly and helps you both balance yourselves.

“you two idiots are gonna end up getting hurt!” hyunjin chuckles as jeongin lets go of you.

he hugs felix tightly and whispers something in his ear. felix blushes a bit and sighs before whispering something back.

“off to the car!” hyunjin yells and you both start running, leaving the other two boys behind.

it takes them a while to get to the car as you and hyunjin throw everything in the trunk and get in. you sit in the back knowing jeongin would want the front. when they finally get there felix sits next to you and sighs.

you look up at him, “what’s wrong?” you whisper.

“nothing.” he whispers back and quickly looks out the window.

you let it go until you get to felix’s house. he sighs again and gets out. hyunjin pops the trunk and felix slowly grabs everything from it. he throws hyunjin the keys to unlock the front door and waits for you.

“lix?” you ask quietly from the other side of the car.

“yea?” he looks over at you with a sad smile.

“what’s wrong with you?”

“i’m not sure if i should be offended or not.”

“no i mean you’re smile isn’t as bright, your eyes aren’t sparkling like they do. i can tell something’s wrong.”

he sighs softly, “it’s just i won’t be able to see you for about a month and i don’t know what i’m going to do.”

“lix, baby, it’s gonna be okay.”

“no you don’t get it (y/n). this short time with you has made me want to interact with people more, draw more, do all the things i used to love. when you’re not around i feel so lost for some reason and i’m scared of that.”

“felix you will be okay. i’ll still be here. just not in person. i promise that if you need me too i will call everyday.”

“i’d like that a lot actually.” he smiles softly and walks over to you. “we should probably go in now.”

you nod and run inside leaving felix by the car. he felt sad for some reason. he felt as though he did something wrong. he knew what he said wasn’t entirely what was on his mind, but didn’t lie to you. he meant everything he had just said.

he comes inside to find the living room completely different from when he had left it that morning. there were bowls of snacks and drinks on floor in front of the tv. there was a giant fort surrounding the coffee table and couch. hyunjin and jeongin were wearing matching hoodies and sweats while setting up fairy lights. but you were no where to be seen.

the microwave had gone off before you came down fron his room. you were wearing a pair of shorts and one of his old hoodies. he had swore every time you had changed from your school uniform to something more comfortable, he would never see anything more beautiful. he was wrong. he was so wrong. right now, in his huge hoodie, with the brightest smile he had ever seen, he knew this was the most beautiful thing he’d ever see.

you looked at him and he swore that he would never be able to look at anyone else. he smiles brightly, this time though, his eyes sparkled so brightly you could see the stars in them. he smiled so brightly that even his freckles couldn’t compare. he was absolutely stunning.

you walked up to him slowly, planning your next move. you stood right in front of him and grabbed his cheeks. he looks at you a bit confused until you finally kiss his nose, then you let go and kiss his cheeks.

he stood there silently, his bright smile seeming even brighter after those kisses. he lets out a quiet giggle when he sees you smiling at him. he hugs you tightly and nuzzles his face in your neck mumbling a soft ‘thank you.’

you smile and play with his hair gently before kissing the side of his neck lightly. he giggles a bit before he lets go and walks up to his room.

you turn to go to the kitchen only to be stopped by jeongin and hyunjin blocking your way.

“we saw that (y/n)!” jeongin cheers quietly.

“yea! just tell him you like him already!” hyunjin shoves you lightly. “there’s no way he doesn’t like you back pabo! did you see that cute little smile! he’s completely gone for you!”

“yah! you pabo! shut up what if he hears!” you hide your face in felix’s hoodie.

“yea! and those cute giggles! come on (y/n) he really likes you!” jeongin pokes your shoulders as he speaks.

“but felix is felix! the cutest, most talented, meme boy to walk the planet! and i am not as cute or talented, but i am a meme! and he’s such a cute baby boy!” you pout softly.

“yah! (y/n) i’m not a baby!”

“yes you are felix shut up. we’re trying to talk about felix right no-“ you cut yourself off and turn around. there was the beautiful boy you were just talking about dressed in a blue cut off shirt and sweats. “oh dear fucking heck.”

“i’m not a baby!” he pouts softly.

you take a few seconds to truly admire him. his arms weren’t big but you could tell he works out a little.

‘wow he looks so good right now.’ you think to yourself with a shy smile.

he walks over to you slowly with a slight smirk playing in his face.

“i’ll prove it to you.”

he hesitates a bit before pulling you in for a sweet yet rough kiss. the type of kiss that leaves you breathless even minutes after. the type of kiss people talk about in the movies. the kiss that truly shows how both of you feel about each other.

felix pulls away and bites his lip, looking you straight in the eyes.

“that was...” you say softly.

“wow.” he leans in again and kisses you.

jeongin giggles quietly, nudging hyunjin’s shoulder. hyunjin smiles softly.

“cute.” he mumbles and pulls jeongin into his chest.

after a few seconds felix pulls away with a smile.

“so can this be a double date now?” he giggles quietly, unable to keep the happiness in.

“sure!” you say cheerfully and pinch his cheeks.

“finally!” hyunjin yells and walks towards the fort with jeongin.

“what movie are we gonna watch?” you say with a smile and follow the other two into the fort.

“i say we watch hercules!” jeongin claps and snuggles up to hyunjin.

“aw shit! here we go again.” felix mumbles with a soft laugh as he climbs in and cuddles up next to you. he smiles as he kisses your forehead.

in the end it doesn’t really matter what you watched. you end up falling asleep in felix’s arms shortly after the movie starts, and he would never have it any other way.

#stray kids felix #lee felix fluff #lee felix au #lee felix

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hunter-the-sad-skeleton · 4 years

Note

Two birds on a wire inspired oneshot?

(Trigger warning for: self harm mention, self destruction, suicide, ect! Ask to tag!) July 15th, 2010. Time: 2:07 PM. Hunter ran off, tearing up, from home. She heard of a movie studio about an hour or two from home, so she went there to, hopefully, get a job. When she arrived, she stood back, gazing up at it in awe. It was so much larger in person...! She soon shook herself from her stupor and took a deep breath, slowly walking in and up to the reception desk. There was an awkward silence. He hadn’t spotted her yet. Hunter waited a few minutes. Then it turned to ten minutes. Eventually, she gently tapped on the desk as if knocking, getting his attention. “Huh?! Someone there? Robin, I swear, if you’re pranking me again, The Conductor’s gonna hear about it!” The receptionist said. “Down here sir, I’m by no means a Robin, I’m a Hunter, sir...!” Hunter chirped. The Receptionist looked around before leaning over the desk, looking Hunter over. “Oh! Hey there little Chirper!” The receptionist smiled. “What can I do for ya?” He asked gently.

“I was curious if any job slots were open, sir...!” Hunter answered. The receptionist thought it over.

“None that I ca-” the Receptionist started.

“PECKNECK!!!!!” A voice cried out. The receptionist winced. “OF COURSE NOW IS THE TIME YE CHOOSE TO COME DOWN WITH THE BIRD FLU!!!” It sighed heavily. A door to the left of the desk slammed open, a golden yellow owl(?) storming out, running his hands through his feathers. “Receptionist, how do ye feel about being a detective?!”

“Why? What happened to the original?” The receptionist asked.

“Went and got himself sick!!” He barked. The receptionist sighed.

“Kid, this is the Conductor. He’s a director here.” The Receptionist said tiredly. Hunter smiled.

“Pleasure to meet ya, Mister Conductor, sir!” Hunter beamed. The Conductor waved her off, pacing in the lobby, leaving skid marks every time he turned around again.

“Well, I can’t be the detective, I’ve got work to get done. The kid here was looking for a job, so why not he-” the receptionist started.

“WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. GO BACK, HOW OLD IS SHE?” The Conductor asked.

“Um...almost 12, sir.” Hunter answered, rocking on the balls of her feet back and forth.

“ALMOS-WHERE ARE YER PARENTS?!?” The Conductor squawked.

“.........they’re the reason I’m getting a job.” Hunter said coldly, falling still.

“Eh?” The Conductor asked.

“I basically carry the whole family. I know how to pay bills, balance checkbooks, pay rent, that kinda stuff.” Hunter chuffed.

“When did ye learn this stuff?” The Conductor asked, anger growing in his tone.

“Around....Six years old, sir.” Hunter said.

“BUHDUHZUHBUH!!!! SIX?!?!?!?” The Conductor squawked.

“Six.” Hunter confirmed.

“Well-how good are ye at acting, lass...?” The Conductor asked gently.

“Sorta good.” Hunter said.

“Convincing?” The Conductor asked.

“I played Juliette in Romeo and Juliette and everyone thought I was actually dead.” Hunter answered.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Hunter said.

“Well, ye wanna be a Detective in a myrder Mystery, lass?” The Conductor asked.

“Sounds fun!” Hunter grinned.

August 24 2010

“Hello, darlin! Welcome to our moon set! Today’s simple! Lead the parade around! Don’t forget to drop by the refreshments! Ya gotta stay hydrated!” Grooves beamed. “But wait! Your current outfit isn’t really parade material....go over to the changing room there” Grooves pointed “and get changed, Okay darlin?” Grooves asked. Hunter nodded, hopping over.

When Hunter changed, she hopped out, twirling slightly. Grooves laughed at the silly little action, but figured she was having fun, so that was all that mattered.

Hunter ran around, occasionally jumping from wire to wire, even swinging on them. Hunter hopped to a rooftop, grabbing a small bottle of apple juice, gulping it down swiftly before running off again when the parade owls were ready. Hunter finished by hopping from one of the platforms and landing on the main building and taking a bow.

(Timeskip a few years.)

“-ow are we gonna tell her, Conductor, Darlin?” Grooves asked.

“Honestly and to the point. This doesnae need to take long. It can be quick and painless.” The Conductor said.

“I dunno, darlin-that seems kinda harsh...” Grooves grimaced.

“Harsh or nae, we have to tell her.” the Conductor barked.

Hunter skipped in and dread filled the lobby, express owls and moon penguins dispersing to their work stations. “Hey guys, what’s going on with everyone today? They’ve been almost ignoring me and I feel weird about it...did I do something?” Hunter asked.

“No, darlin....! Not at all!” Grooves assured.

“Lass, let’s talk. Let’s have a heart to heart.” The Conductor said, rushing to the point. “

“Oh! Okay!” Hunter said.

“Darlin, we’ve appreciated what you’ve done for us lately, truly! We do!” Grooves started.

“I’m glad!” Hunter beamed.

“I...wasn’t done, darlin...” Grooves grimaced.

“Oh...sorry sir!” Hunter apologized. Grooves grimaced, looking over at the Conductor. He was still frowning. Oh God. The plan was still go.

“Darlin, I wanna preface this by sayin ya in NO WAY did ANYTHING wrong!” Grooves stated. “Ya know how plans....sometimes don’t...work out...?” Grooves asked.

“Huh? What’s that have to do with anything?” Hunter asked, confused.

“Darlin, look, I-” Grooves started.

“Grooves, yer taking too long, lass we have to remove ye from the projects.” The Conductor snapped. Hunter’s heart stopped. She felt tears growing in the corner of her eyes and her chest tightened. Why...? What had she done wrong to warrant this action...?

“Wh...What...?” Hunter choked out.

“Darlin, please understand that this is NOT an easy decision for us to make...!” Grooves pleaded.

“Why?!” Hunter hiccuped.

“Yer getting yer own section lass. Animation. We donnae need any idea theft.” The Conductor barked.

“I’D NEVER DO THAT!!” Hunter hiccuped. Hunter rubbed her eyes with her hoodie sleeve, tears returning shortly after. “I don’t understand...!” Hunter hiccuped.

“We know darlin, this is just a precaution...!” Grooves padded.

“IF YA KNOW, WHY DO YOU NEED THE PRECAUTION IN THE FIRST PLACE?!” Hunter sobbed.

“We bend rules for ye, the rules bend for others, lass.” The Conductor barked.

Hunter fell silent. “Darlin, we wish we didn’t have to, but-” Grooves started.

“I....have something to deal with.” Hunter said blankly. Hunter hurried off to the elevator, pushing the button for the basement.

“DARLIN WAIT!!!” Grooves yelped, hurrying after her. As Grooves reached the elevator, dread started bubbling in his stomach.

“Grooves, What’s wrong?” The Conductor asked, hurrying over.

“Is anyone else downstairs...?” Grooves asked shakily, eyes still trained on the closed elevator doors.

“Nae, everyone is upstairs, why?” Conductor asked.

“Is there another way down...?” Grooves asked shakily.

“Nae, just the elevator. What’s going on?” The Conductor asked.

“...dammit...” Grooves muttered.

“What was that?” The Conductor asked.

“I SAID DAMMIT, CONDUCTOR!!!! DAMMIT!!! DAMN YOU AND YOUR DUMB PECKING TEMPER!!!!” Grooves snapped, tears streaming down his face.

“What...?” The Conductor breathed shakily.

“IF YOU’D JUST PUT YOUR PECKING EGO ASIDE, WE WOULDN’T BE IN THIS MESS!! I COULD HAVE TOLD HER NICELY, CONDUCTOR!!!” Grooves snapped. The elevator doors opened and the two directors hurried in.

“............Grooves...? I.....I’m sorry I talked to her like that....I shouldae been more patient....” The Conductor admitted.

“Yeah. Ya shoulda been.” Grooves said coldly. The Conductor shuddered at the new nature from the moon penguin.

“......do ye think she’ll be okay...? Maybe after we’re done here, we can go hang out-swing by that diner she likes and grab a few root beer floats...” The Conductor suggested. Grooves sighed heavily, taking his glasses off, rubbing his eyes.

“I don’t know....” Grooves droned. Grooves turned, look at The Conductor, worry evident in his eyes. “I’m scared for her....we were one of the only good people in her life....what if she-” Grooves started.

“Nae.” The Conductor cut off.

“What if she-” Grooves restarted.

“NAE. SHE WON’T. She’s strong, Grooves. She just needs a hug.” The Conductor interrupted again, not wanting to imagine her committing the act Grooves was implying.

“What if it’s not just that, Conductor?!? What if it’s more serious?!?” Grooves hiccuped.

“It’s nae-” the Conductor started.

“YOU SAW HER ARMS, DARLIN. THOSE WEREN’T AN ACCIDENT!!” Grooves hiccuped. The Conductor fell silent. The rest of the elevator ride was in silence. When the doors opened, Grooves rushed to Hunter’s typical hideout spot, face draining of colour as he looked up at the loft.

“GROOVES, DID YE FIND HER?!?” Conductor called. Grooves tried to respond, but no sound came out. His little darlin was gone. Hanging from the loft like a coat in a closet. “GROOVES, DID YE HEAR ME?!” Conductor called. Grooves got up, walking over to a desk, gently unfolding a note and reading it.

“In here....!” Grooves called, shaking violently. The Conductor hurried in, freezing in the doorframe up spotting Hunter.

“Grooves-” the Conductor started.

“We’re too late, darlin...” Grooves croaked handing the note over. The Conductor gingerly took it from the moon penguin’s flippers, reading it.

“Dear Grooves and Conductor, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry. I guess I ain’t as strong as ya think, huh? I never told ya guys what was going on in my head since I-quite frankly-didn’t wanna freak you out. It scared me, the thoughts I could get. But! At least those thoughts won’t bother anyone else now, right? =) anyway, I guess that I should explain. I did this because it got to be too much. I couldn’t deal with the thoughts anymore. I couldn’t listen to my head anymore. I couldn’t deal with myself anymore. I couldn’t bear it anymore. So I chose to not bear anything ever again. Guess mom ‘n’ dad were right, huh? Conductor, I know you’re gonna find this note-you’re clever like that-but I have a special request for you. Hug your family. Tell them you love them. Tell them you love them, and hug them, and kiss them, and NEVER. LET. GO. it could be your last time seeing them. And Grooves, I know ya! I know it’s gonna be sad for ya that I’m gone, but please-I’m begging you-Don’t let your films lose their sparkle! Keep em special! They don’t need me to be successful! They never needed me to be successful! Ya just needed confidence! Don’t lose that confidence! Heck! Don’t see my death as sad! Use it to inspire you! To inspire OTHERS! You can even use it for a story for a movie if ya want! Use it for an inspirational story about being strong enough to know when to ask for help! Strong enough to admit that you NEED HELP. That you’re not okay. That you’re reaching your breaking point. That you’re hurting but don’t wanna tell anyone for fear of coming off as stupid or pathetic or useless! To show that it’s okay to not be okay! For the both of you; work together. Please. I’ll still be watching ya! So every time ya argue, I’ll shake my head disapprovingly! I’ll waggle my little ghost finger at ya! Don’t think I won’t! Anyway, my hookshot is callin for me, so I gotta go! Swing by ya later, my buddies! -Hunter Bridgette Burkes.”

The Conductor’s throat tightened. She was hurting-and for so long-how did he not see it? How did he not see the signs? If only he wasn’t blind to it-if he only told her she was doing such a good job! If only he wasn’t caught up in his ego! If only he wasn’t such a peckneck! If only...he’d just listened to Grooves and stood back. He folded the note back the way it was gently, putting it back on the desk. He stood back, looking at Hunter again. It was horrible. She shouldn’t have been there. She should have woken up-dropped down and chirped out ‘surprise!’ Ages ago! She should have heard Grooves’ distress and dropped down, hugging him tightly and apologizing instead of hanging there, lifeless as a statue. He felt tears start to make their way down his face. This wasn’t fair-HE wasn’t fair. She shouldn’t be dead-NOT at such a young age. His shoulders shook as his vision started to blur. It wasn’t fair. He fell to his knees, head in his hands as the tears flowed. HE. wasn’t. Fair.

(Timeskip to when The Conductor comes home.)

“I’m home...!” the Conductor called hoarsely.

“Welcome home!” Mary called from the kitchen.

The Conductor plopped down on the couch after putting everything down. Mary poked her head out of the kitchen, worried at how quiet her husband was being.

“Did something happen at work today, sweetie?” Mary asked

The Conductor shuddered. “What about Aunty Hunter?” Poppy asked.

“Aunty Hunter?” Max asked.

“Purple hoodie, crow?” Poppy asked.

“Oh! Hunter! She was nice! I wonder if she’s gonna babysit us again soon!” Max beamed. The Conductor shook slightly.

“Con?” Mary asked. The Conductor walked over to Mary, hugging her tightly. “Oh!” Mary exclaimed in surprise.

“I love you so much, Lass.....I hope ye know that...!” The Conductor sniffled.

“Con, what happened...? You’re shaking like a leaf...!” Mary asked, concerned.

“Kids, can ye please go upstairs...? Mama Mary and I have to talk about something ye don’t need to know yet...” The Conductor asked gently. Poppy nodded, taking everyone else upstairs.

“What’s going on? Is something wrong?” Max Asked as he was taken upstairs.

“What happened at work today, Con?” Mary asked. Tears filled The Conductor’s eyes.

“She’s dead, Mary...” The Conductor hiccuped.

“What?” Mary asked, confused.

“Hunter’s dead...! Suicide...!” The Conductor hiccuped.

“Wh-What....?!” Mary gasped.

“I shouldae seen the signs...! I didn’t know....!” The Conductor hiccuped.

“Oh, Con...” Mary frowned. The Conductor hugged her tightly.

“I shouldae been more gentle....! How am I gonna tell the kids...?” The Conductor sniffled.

“Truthfully...they deserve it.” Mary advised.

“I donnae wanna break their wee little hearts...!” The Conductor sniffled.

“I know, but they’ll keep asking when she can next babysit if you don’t tell them...” Mary said.

“Aye....” The Conductor said. “I....I think I’m gonna go tell them as gently as I can...” The Conductor took a deep breath, walking upstairs to the kids’ room.

The Conductor knocked, opening the door gently. “Hello, kiddos, I have an important announcement to make, so....gather ‘round...” The Conductor said. The kids hopped over.

“What’s wrong, papa?” Ray asked.

“Did something happen at work today?” Max asked.

“Aye, lad...it was nae something good....” The Conductor shuddered.

“Is Aunty Hunter okay, papa?” Ray asked.

“About Aunty Hunter.....” The Conductor sighed. He took a deep breath.

“Is she okay? Is she hurt?” Poppy asked, concerned.

“Aye, badly...” The Conductor asked.

“Like you when yer train blew up at work that one time?” Max asked.

“Nae, worse...” The Conductor shook his head.

“But ye almost died...!” Max said.

“Aye.....” The Conductor nodded.

“What happened...?” Poppy asked.

“....today, at 2:57 AM, Hunter took her own life....” The Conductor shuddered.

“Oh no...!” Poppy gasped.

“Whe-When’ll she be back...?” Max asked.

“Lad, ye can’t-there’s nae coming back from death....she’s gone fer good...” The Conductor said sadly. The Conductor laughed sadly. “In part, it was me fault....I was the one who snapped at her...”

“Papa, it’s not your fault...!” Poppy assured.

“Poppy’s right...!” Max nodded.

“Hunter may not be alive anymore, but she’s still alive in our hearts...!” Poppy said. “And family never leaves your heart-no matter what!” Poppy added.

“I love ye all.....” the Conductor sniffled.

“We know, papa....we love you too...no matter what...” Poppy said, hugging The Conductor with everyone else.

2 notes · View notes

current-mcr-news · 5 years

Text

Off The Seton Path with Frank Iero: Full Transcription

Listen to the full podcast HERE

Brendon: Are you rolling?

Seton: Am I? I am! Yeah. Hey, Brendon, what's up?

B: Hi, Seton, how are you?

S: Great, great. And to you listening, welcome to Off The Seton Path. This is a podcast-

B: It is a podcast and it is 2019.

S: -that you've downloaded. Yeah, is this the first one of 2019?

B: This is the first one of 2019.

S: Yeah. How about that? And it's a good one. This is a banger, as they say.

B: This is definitely a banger. We don't even have to talk during this one. Well, you talk during this one, a whole lot.

S: Yeah. Yeah, I do talk, probably too much.

B: Well.

S: But that's-

B: I'll leave that up to the viewer.

S: Yeah, or listener, in this medium.

B: Your perspective.

S: Yeah. We have a really great interview here. Well, I think it's great because he was awesome. Frank Iero, he was in the band- he was the guitar player for My Chemical Romance, and then he's got other side projects, like Leathermouth was one, which was a really cool band, you should check them out. Frank Iero and the Patience, and there's a couple of other iterations of that band, of his solo stuff, but he is a really nice guy. Super cool guy. I met him last summer, actually, at a concert, and he was awesome. He was just a super nice guy, and I figured why not give him a call, see if he'd do an interview. He drove into New York City, which was really thoughtful of him. And- well, I don't know if it was thoughtful, but he drove into New York City from New Jersey, which was awesome, and we sat down at a place called The Ear Inn, which is-

B: Haunted.

S: -one of the oldest bars in New York City, and it's also supposed to be super haunted, which I thought, "How perfect for a guy like Frank Iero, who seems to be into that kind of that thing. He's got that sort of dark thing going on."

B: Black Parade, right?

S: Yeah, that was-

B: That's all there. I thought he was a wicked cool dude. First thing he did when we got in there, he was like, "I'm gonna go get a beer." And I have a camera on my shoulder, he's like, "Hey, do you want a beer?" And I was like, "Alright, this guy's good."

S: Yeah, he gets it.

B: This guy's good people.

S: Yeah. So anyway, I won't talk too much more about that, and I'll just let you get to the interview, but we do get into all of his solo stuff. He's got a podcast now that I think he's pretty pumped about. We talk a lot about ghosts, and we get into some stuff with My Chemical Romance, including the possibility of a reunion... I'm just gonna leave it out there. We do talk about that, despite the fact that I don't really think Frank wanted to.

B: Nope. You did the classic good interview. You were like, "I gotta ask."

S: Yeah. "I gotta ask you about this." So, he was gracious enough to let me ask that question, but anyway, enough talking. Here is an interview with Frank Iero. Enjoy.

S: Alright. So, I chose The Ear Inn to do this because it was built in the 18th century. Supposed to be super haunted, is what I hear.

Frank: I heard that there would be drinks and ghosts, and I was- you had me at both of those.

S: Right, yeah, those are- and actually the ghost, okay, so this place is supposed to be haunted by a ghost named Mickey. He was a drunken sailor-

F: Really?

S: Which, if you're gonna be haunted by somebody, it might as well be a drunken sailor.

F: See, I had questions about this. Like, ghosts- do they follow the same life that they had? Like, if you were drunk in life, do you stay drunk as a ghost? Or do you like, are you constantly looking for your next drink? Are you upset that you can't have one?

S: Well, so the legend has it that he- there's two ways that they think Mickey might've died. Either he drank himself to death sitting in one of these stools. Or he was hammered, walked outside, and got hit by a car.

F: Oh.

S: Either way, he supposedly- what happens to people here is they get their drink and sit down at the table, and by the time they get down at the table, their drink is gone.

F: No!

S: So, he'll drink your beer or whatever you're drinking.

F: What a shitty ghost! Sorry, I can't say that, right?

S: No, that's alright. You're okay. But yeah, the other thing they say, too, is that there's apartments up here, and occasionally, Mickey climbs into bed with some people, which is awkward.

F: Whoa.

S: I'd rather have him drink my beer, because if I'm sleeping, I don't wanna be disturbed.

F: Right, yeah. Is that how the statement "slipping a mickey," is that how that came about?

S: I don't know, it could be.

F: Alright.

S: That's wild.

F: That's strange.

S: So, you believe in ghosts? Or do you, I should say?

F: I would love to. I want so bad to believe in ghosts, or just the fact that there's something else. You know? I think that's what's so appealing about that, is that if there are ghosts involved in our lives, then that means that this isn't the only thing, you know? That there is something other than just darkness at the end of it.

S: So, I have a theory.

F: Go ahead.

S: This is what actually made me believe in ghosts, officially, 100%.

F: Okay, please.

S: A dog whistle.

F: Okay.

S: So, you know a dog whistle, right? You blow on it, and your dogs can hear it, but humans can't detect it because it's at a different frequency that, you know, our ears, for the most part, aren't picking it up, but for them, it's super loud. So, that got me thinking of the sounds out there that are happening that I can't hear because they're just at a different frequency. Why wouldn't there be other beings around that my senses just aren't picking up?

F: Different planes.

S: But for other people, or for other beings like dogs, they always say dogs can see ghosts.

F: Right.

S: I think dogs really have- are the answer.

F: You think that's the tie?

S: I do.

F: Alright. So, do you think all ghosts talk in a really high voice? That's the issue?

S: It's possible. It's possible. Yeah.

F: Maybe that's the- I don't know. Here's my question, right. Is that- where do you draw the line? Like, who gets to be a ghost, and why? And if everyone gets to be a ghost, then it has to be so crowded in that ethereal plane, you know? And then also, like, if that's happening, then there's gotta be ghosts that other ghosts really don't like, and they have to like- there's probably like gangs of ghosts, that are fighting.

S: There might be some kind of turf?

F: I would think, yeah.

S: Whereas, now, Mickey doesn't sound like all that tough of a guy. Why does he get to own The Ear Inn?

F: Yeah, like, that's the thing. He can't be the only one that died in the vicinity of The Ear Inn.

S: There was another place around the corner called The Death House that I thought was-

F: Oh, well, that sounds so much more badass.

S: That sounds really interesting, but I feel like I don't wanna put myself in those situations. I've never done a Ouija board.

F: I've done that.

S: Have you?

F: I've done that at a haunted hotel.

S: Get outta here!

F: Yeah.

S: What happened?

F: Well, I think somebody was pushing it.

S: You do?

F: Yeah. I think in order for those things to work, you have to do it with an asshole. Like, that's the only way it's really gonna be any fun, is like, somebody's gotta-

S: Like, "You be the guy."

F: Yeah, you have to, you know?

S: So, you're a skeptic?

F: I don't know if I'm so much a skeptic. It's just that I feel like a lot of things are easily explained, and that's unfortunate, you know what I mean? I wish that it was like, "Oh my god! The beer's not here anymore!" It's like, well, either somebody drank it or it spilled out.

S: Like, maybe a bartender messed with somebody or something.

F: I would be upset, though, if this wasn't' there anymore, so I get that.

S: I have had a history of thinking that I had a full beer, and then it was gone, and being like, "Well, that was weird. How did that happen?"

F: That's happened, yes. I have been haunted in the past.

S: "Better get another one." Apparently, I'm being haunted in bars all over the country.

F: Exactly. That was the interesting thing to me was like, we're going to a haunted bar. I was like, "Wow, usually I'm just haunted by the mistakes I've made being at a bar. Whereas, an actual spirit is going to come, like, that's where I wanna be."

S: Right, yeah. Like, "This is not my mistakes here."

F: Right, yeah yeah.

S: "That is causing me all this awful guilt." When you are travelling on the road, do you get to be a tourist? Or is it too busy?

F: I try to. I feel like in my younger days, I didn't. I really despised the travel so much that I let it affect how I toured, and it was like, "Oh no, I'm just gonna- just to the shows, and I don't even wanna see anything else. I don't wanna be here." And nowadays, I love going to new places that I've never been before, or even places that I've been a hundred times, but I haven't seen everything. I feel like, maybe I'm a little bit more relaxed in that setting of being a tourist. Of being out and experiencing things and not letting it, kind of, affect my show later on. I feel like it actually enhances the show later on, so, I'm into it if I have the time. But that's the hard part, man. Like, when you're on tour, the one thing you have is a lot of time, but it's a lot of hurry up and wait, you know? So, you're kind of on someone else's schedule at all times. You know? Waiting for soundchecks, or doing press, or you know, whatever it may be.

S: So, you've been in- you've played massive places like, you know, Reading and Leeds, headlined that, which is crazy. Brian May comes out, like, oh my god! And then you played, you know, you started small.

F: Played places like The Ear Inn.

S: You played places like here, too. Is it just as busy either- the bigger the venue, the more busy you get?

F: It is. It's kinda the same, you know? It depends. Festivals are just always hectic, and there's an added sense of dread, I feel like, with a festival, because you're dealing with a lot of- no soundcheck, getting up on the stage where a sound guy or monitor guy, just doesn't wanna deal with your shit. Basically, he's like, "I've done this 16 times today, I'm gonna do it 60 times more, and I have a whole weekend of it. Just get up there and play it." So, that's a little rough. Things are usually broken by the time you get up there and play, and those kinds of pitfalls. But you know, regular venue type stuff, like, it has its own issues, you know? But, yeah, the stress is always there, and there's something- will always go wrong that will be a constant succubus of time.

S: Yeah, right right. I saw Jawbreaker in Chicago for Riot Fest, and as soon as they come out, they opened it with Boxcar, which is like the song everybody knows. The place goes bonkers. And Blake, the lead singer and guitar player, steps on his pedal, and it doesn't work. It's like, "This is our big return in front of this massive audience," and he was like- you could see him looking over at the bass player like, "Isn't this so typically us?"

F: That's typically everybody. Yeah, it has to go like that, you know? And it's not a matter of will it happen? It's just a matter of when. When's it gonna go wrong?

S: It's more about how you react to it happening, because you know it's gonna happen.

F: Yeah, you'd like to think that no one else knows, but everybody knows. You know what I mean? Everybody knows that it's happening.

S: You're like, "Oh, dear."

F: There's definitely been times where, like- and it's usually when you plan out this huge entrance into something, or like, you know, like, "Oh, we're really gonna psyche the crowd up by like- we're gonna have the curtains open and we're gonna go 1 2 3 and right into it!" And that's when the kick drum pedal will break, or something of that nature. You count into silence, basically. It's like, "Alright." Takes you down a couple of notches.

S: When we talk about, in sports, we talk a lot about places like Fenway Park, and the ghosts of the people that have played there before, like Babe Ruth played there, and all these- Ted Williams and all that. When you play a venue, a famous venue, do you feel that? It might not be ghosts, necessarily, but that sense of history of, "Whoa, we're playing this place right now."

F: There's definitely, yeah. There's definitely moments like that. It's funny. I recently went to go see the Queen movie, right? And for the first half, I was like, "This is a dramatization, I don't know if I like this," and then the last 20 minutes are basically centralized around their triumphant show at Live Aid at Wembley Stadium.

S: Yeah, iconic performance.

F: Iconic, yeah. And I feel like, you don't really get to see that a lot in like, you know, movies about music, or musicians, where they really- you go through every song. Like, 5, 6 songs, 20 minutes of them performing or lip syncing, rather, you know, performing this. Like, that's crazy. And I started to think to myself, I've had shows where I've played them and been like, "This is a show I'm going to remember for the rest of my life." And you're like, "Wow, that's really awesome." But I've also played Wembley Stadium opening up for Muse one time, and I remember thinking to myself, "This isn't going well."

S: Oh no.

F: So, I got to watch that movie with people playing that venue with a triumphant gig, and you're like, "Oh, I know what that's like, but not there." So, I just hope that my movie doesn't end with my set there. Hopefully, it's somewhere else.

S: You know, you don't think- you just think of being in the moment and then- how do you get a sense of when a show is going the wrong way?

F: Oh, you know.

S: Just the crowd, or is it you, or is it-?

F: Depends on the instance, you know what I mean? I've definitely had some moments where I'm like, "Oh man, this might be the last time anyone ever lets me get up the stage." You know what I mean? So, those where everything you tried just goes wrong, that's never fun. I feel like, the music business or the music industry is rough, because you can go to school, you can go to college, you can get a degree, and you can- say you pass the bar, you'll be a lawyer. Unless you do something really fucked up, you're always gonna be a lawyer, nobody's gonna take that away from you. But as a musician or as an artist, you're only as good as the last thing that you did. You can make, you know, a beautiful piece of art, or like 3 records that are great, but if your last record sucks, or the last couple of shows suck, people are gonna be like, "That guy's a has-been." You know what I mean? So, it's kinda rough. You're always trying to keep that bar high, and that's why when you have a really bad show, you start to really beat yourself up.

S: You're like, "When's the next time I'm gonna be in this city to make this right? When's the next time I'm gonna be in Boston, because I gotta-"

F: "Can't wait for no one to show up."

S: Yeah. All of the sudden, your merch sales just dipped.

F: There you go.

S: "Great, blew it."

F: That's, I think, part of- you don't get into this business because you're confident. Like, you get into this business because you hate yourself on such a pure level, you want something that you can beat yourself up with every night.

S: You need to punish yourself onstage, nightly.

F: Oh definitely. It's like a flogging. It's a lot like drunk Mickey.

S: Yes, right. Yeah. And occasionally, we all go down that same way, you know. Aside from the haunted hotel Ouija board, what's the scariest place you've been? Is there a place that's been super creepy that you're like, "Dang, I don't know if I'm cool with this?"

F: That's a really good question. Especially in My Chem, we would search those types of places out, like, "We've heard this hotel is haunted, or we've heard that this venue is haunted," we'd wanna take a tour. And there was one night where- there's a venue in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The Eagle Ballroom, or the Aragon- I think it's called The Eagle Ballroom. Actually, where it's located is- the venue is here, and it's down the block from the McDonald's where Jeffrey Dahmer used to pick up all his victims. So, it's already got a weird feeling around it. And deep down in the bowels of that venue, there's an old sports club. There's a huge Olympic sized swimming pool, and locker rooms, and all these different things. And so, we would take tours of it, and I remember one time in particular. I've been there a couple of times. One time in particular, after the show, it was late, and they had this, you know, like shower rooms, and backstage rooms down there. And I went to- I was gonna go take a shower and then go back to the bus after the night was over. And I remember hearing, not a commotion, like, what sounded to me like kids running around, laughing, and just like, you know, doing whatever. And I thought to myself, "Alright well, must be cleaning crew or something, brought their kids." Something is weird. And so, like, looked outside, didn't see anybody. And where that shower room is, is next to the Olympic swimming pool that's now closed, and you can kinda go underneath it and check things out, it's really creepy. But I've never seen anything there. And so, looked out there, was nothing. I was like, "This is weird." I ended up taking a shower, blah blah, you know, heard chattering one more time, but couldn't find anybody. Later on, went back to the bus, like, "Yeah, I keep hearing like, kids or something." They're like- you know, I spoke to somebody at the venue, and they said nobody was ever- no kids were there, but in that swimming pool, there was a drowning at one time. So, I don't know. I just got chills all of a sudden, while I was saying that.

S: Yeah, dude, that's what I'm saying! A draft just blew in or something.

F: It's weird, but then again, I don't know, maybe it was a high pitched cleaning crew.

S: You don't know, you have no idea. That's super creepy.

F: It's weird.

S: But there's something great about being scared in that thrilling way. Not scared in a real life or death way, but in a like, "Whoa, what's- this is kinda weird." There's something about that rush.

F: It's unsettling, yeah. I do enjoy that. I really enjoyed it until my children got old enough to realize that scaring people is funny. And my daughters, especially my daughter Cherry, she's 8 years old now, but she loves to scare people. And she'll like hide behind doors and jump out at you, and I'm now at an age where I think I might have a heart attack at some point. Now, I really hate it.

S: "I've survived rock and roll, I need to survive my 8 year olds."

F: Survived the troupe of ghost children at The Eagle Ballroom, now I come home and die trying to put you to bed.

S: The kids are at an age where Halloween is like, prime time. I know in my house, with my son, it's like Halloween is a big deal.

F: They love it, yeah.

S: Do you go big?

F: I do. It's actually my birthday, too.

S: Oh, no kidding.

F: Yeah, so.

S: Oh, cool.

F: That's my favorite holiday, and my kids have actually now adopted it as their favorite holiday, too. I keep saying, "Isn't it so much better than Christmas? Especially when you get Dad something really good for it?"

S: "Everybody dresses up for my birthday, that's how good this is."

F: Exactly, we all celebrate. But yeah, no, it's a big deal at our house.

S: Do you have a best costume?

F: I mean, I'm not trying to brag, but I'm pretty good at the costuming. I've perfected it over the years. I had a slump when I was young, about 3 or 4 years where I was just Freddy Krueger. I had the same costume for 3 or 4 years. And then, somebody woke me up a bit, and then I started to get a little bit more inventive with things. This past year, I actually had a working birthday. I had a working holiday, so I did have a costume in mind, but I didn't get to dress up, which was really depressing for me. But last year, I was Don Mattingly, and I really pulled it off, really well. I was Donnie Baseball. And the year before that I was Sadness.

S: Do you go 'stache?

F: No, I didn't. I did 'stache, and then I did the party in the back.

S: Yeah, great, that's awesome. Donnie Baseball is a legend.

F: Yes, absolutely. Especially around here.

S: Oh yeah, you're right in it for sure. Did you record an album in a mansion in LA?

F: Yes, kind of.

S: It sounds creepy as hell to me.

F: Yes, it was. That actually was supposedly haunted as well. I heard things- alright, so, I'll move backwards. So, what we did was we lived in, and wrote the record, in the Paramour House in LA. It's up in the hills somewhere. And it's basically, yeah, like a haunted mansion. We did some recordings there, but none that made it to the actual record. The record that we were making at the time was called The Black Parade. Where I lived was, there was the main house, was say like, kinda long like this way, and then there was a pool outside, and there was, like, a spire that you kinda do like a circular stairway up to, and that's where I stayed. In that room-

S: Which isn't creepy. Not at all. "I slept up here in this perched thing."

F: I was perched in the spire!

S: You're like, "That's the one I want."

F: Yeah, exactly. I guess, yeah, I was really looking for an experience, you know. But the story goes that Merle Haggard stayed in that room at some point, and met, what he claimed to be, a ghost. And it was a lady ghost, and apparently he wrote- whenever he wrote songs up in that room, in the spire room, she would come and visit him and they would harmonies together. And so, that was my room. I never saw anybody, but I did hear things in the walls, which I kind of assumed were raccoons. But maybe it was lady raccoons that had a really good voice. I don't know!

S: There could be a lot of things creaking, or I don't know.

F: Could've been Merle. I don't know!

S: Right, right. Which could explain why the record did so well, too, I mean, you've got other forces getting in.

F: This is possible. There were a lot of forces. See, I was not the only one that had an experience though, in that house. I know Mikey and Gerard- Mikey had a room that he refused to sleep in, and he actually ended up sleeping on Gerard's floor for a long time. We were in that house for months, and no one really had a great time. I don't know.

S: That's awesome.

F: Yeah. It was a cool experience, though.

S: That feels like a whole other different- I mean, things happened for My Chem pretty quickly, it seems like. In the span of a few years, it went from like, 0 to 100.

F: Yeah, and in the very beginning it was pretty- yeah.

S: That's a lot different than, like-

F: Pretty intense.

S: -getting some studio time and going to cut an album as quick as you can, versus, "Alright, we're gonna take up this house."

F: Yeah, well-

S: "Move in all of our equipment."

F: Not to sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but like, times were different back then. The budgets were- you were able to have those months to kinda sit in a haunted house and write. And I'm glad- I feel like that was the tail end of that in the music industry, and we were very happy to be a part of it.

S: Oh yeah, you caught that tail end there. "Let's just blow it out!"

F: When we were kids, Metallica was holed up in, what I imagine was like, pool cabanas, for years, you know what I mean? Writing records and stuff like that. So, yeah, we caught the tail tail end. We got a haunted house for a couple months.

S: How do you know when a song is done, when you're writing it?

F: A better person than I can be quoted as saying, "You don't ever finish a record, you just relent." You have to kinda just be like, "I have to let go." You know what I mean? "There's nothing more I can do that will make this better, I'm just going to make it worse." And I feel like that's, you know, a lot of art. There's- you can always do more. Should you do more? Probably not, you know? But then again, there's some songs where it just needs to be just a very succinct, you know, the simpler the better. But it's hard to see the forest for the trees sometimes.

S: Yeah, that makes sense. What about the difference between writing- I mean, I'm assuming you just sort of always write, but writing for yourself, and then versus writing with a band. Is there one you prefer? I'm sure they're both great in their own ways but-

F: Yeah, they're so different. That's the thing. I've always been a fan of that collaborative effort. I like that when you're in a band of friends, people that you respect musically, of course, but also that you get along with, it's fun to try to impress each other, and be like, "Look at this thing I came up with!" That inspires someone else with something else, and then we just kind of make this crazy Scooby sandwich out of it. It just kind of layers up, you know? And that's really fun. The thing about writing for yourself and just as a solo artist, is that there's a sense of accomplishment because nothing makes the record that you didn't come up with on your own. You know what I mean? If it didn't come from your head or your heart, it's not there. And the other great thing about it is that sometimes, certain ideas take a little while to flesh out, and if you can't immediately make someone else see the potential in something, it's able to be kind of bulldozed over, if you're working with a bunch of different writers, you know. They'll be like, "Oh well, that's not working. We'll get back to it," you never really get back to it. But if you write something, even if it sucks, but you see potential in it, you can chase that to the end of the year, and that's really cool.

S: Yeah, that's gotta be a very, sort of, I don't know if it's democratic, or just the idea of working with people and delicately, "I don't know if I'm feeling that." Which I'm sure-

F: It's hard, man. I've been in both situations where somebody was like, "Yo, that fucking sucks. And I don't like your face."

S: "Alright, that was kinda rough. Maybe we've been in this mansion too long."

F: Possibly. But I've also been in situations where people are really kind about it, but even when they're so kind, you still feel like a piece of shit when someone doesn't like what you wrote. It's hard, you know. I feel like, the older you get, maybe, the more able you are to deal with that type of rejection. Be like, "Oh well, I'll get 'em next time," or like, "Oh, I'm gonna take that home, I'm gonna really work on it really hard, and bring it back, and they're gonna understand later on." But part of you also is like, "Fuck that guy!"

S: "Screw you, dude. Fucking fine, I'll save it for my own shit."

F: Exactly, yeah.

S: How do you know, too, when a song- if you're writing, how do you know if this is just for me, or this is for them, this is for- this feels more like a Leathermouth song? I mean, granted, there's obviously huge differences in the music that you're making there, but-

F: You know, sometimes it just speaks to you on a level. It depends, too, I feel like, if you're writing lyrics to it, could you see yourself kinda handing those over, and letting someone else emote with those emotions? Would it feel contrived if somebody else sang your words? You know? Or if you're like, "I just had music here, I don't know what to do," you know, vocally, or something like that. That's a good one to pass off. But usually for me, I kinda jump from project to project, and I think I start- I write within that project. I don't ever write a song like, "I'm gonna hold onto this because this is gonna be good for that one."

S: This is what you're focused on, so this is sort of where your head space is.

F: Yeah. And if I hit a block within that project, I move to the next project, and I start writing there. So, I'm not ever just writing in a broad stroke where I'm like, "This could be for this, this could be for this." It's always like, "Alright, I'm focusing on this one, or I'm focusing on this one."

S: Yeah. So, new projects. You're used to the music world, but you're dipping your toes into a whole new venture.

F: Yeah.

S: Of podcasting.

F: Podcasting. It's strange to me. I was like, I didn't know really what a podcast was for a very long time. I was like, "It's people just talking into a recorder? Alright."

S: Yeah, you just kinda sit and talk for a little while and then say, "Here you go."

F: That's it, yeah! I was like, "Why do people listen to that?" You know? And then I actually started to listen to them, and I was like, "Oh alright, I get it now." And it just so happens that a few of my friends, my friend John Hambone and my friend Shaun Simon, who were in a band I did very early on in my career called Pencey Prep, we just were looking for an excuse, I guess, to hang out and talk. And we, like, well, we go to lunch every couple of weeks and bullshit, and if we were to record this, I think people would get a little bit more insight into other things. And Shaun, of course, from music stuff, branched out and he started writing comics, he ended up writing The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys with Gerard, he wrote Art Ops, and he's working on something new called Wizard Beach, but he brings in kind of a different realm to the podcast. We could talk until we're blue in the face about writing music and touring, and stuff like that, but I feel like his venture into writing comics and actually starting to write prose and stuff like that, and trying to write a novel, is a fun conversation to have about, you know like, creativity, and inspiration, things like that. So, we've been having a really good time. The first two episodes are out, the third episode is coming out in a couple of days. It's called Casual Interactions, and it's one of my favorite projects I've ever worked on because it's just so much fun.

S: Yeah, well you need- especially when you get older and you have kids, and responsibilities, it's hard to figure out time to hang with your buddies.

F: It is! It really is.

S: But now when you make it work, you know like, work.

F: That's my advice. I feel like if you wanna hang out with your friends and drink, turn a recorder on and then you can tell your wife you're working.

S: "It's been a week! We got a podcast we gotta get out!"

F: "It's work, I have to!"

S: "I have to do this right now!"

F: Yes, yeah.

S: She's like, "Yeah, but at 8:30 on Friday night or whatever, at the bar?" Like, "Yes!"

F: There you go. Right now, if there wasn't a camera on us, we'd be fucked off. "Oh, I'm going to a haunted bar with my friend Seton and have some beers."

S: This is exactly what I've- so, we me and Brendon are sitting at a bar in Houston, right? Houston?

B: Yeah.

S: And we're just drinking and trying to figure out a show to do, or whatever, and getting kind of in our cups a little bit, and, "Well, I really like interviewing bands in bars," and then we're like, "What if we made a travel show out of it and just did-" Like, because you guys were saying you travel all over the place.

F: Yeah.

S: James from Against Me!, anytime I'm going to a new city, I'll throw out on Twitter or whatever like, "Hey, what's the best place, a bar, in Minneapolis," or whatever, and he's got 17.

F: He definitely knows. Oh my god.

S: He's got 70 of like, "Oh, make sure you get the burger here, and the burrito there," or something, you know, he's all over the place with it. I'm like, "God, you guys are just a limitless fountain of knowledge for travel!"

F: See, Bowman's a bad influence for me, though, because when he sends me stuff, it's like music stores I have to go, or record stores, and it's like, "Man, just kill my bank account."

S: "How am I shipping this new stack back to my house?"

F: Yeah.

S: Yeah, and actually, on the way down, I nerded out a little bit on your guitar rig.

F: Oh, really?

S: Yeah. You know that equip board, there's like a website.

F: Oh okay, alright.

S: That, I think it's all unofficial, but they'll do- it's got everybody's. And like, so you're on there, and it's got all of the guitars that you've been seen using, pedals, and sometimes it's just a random picture from a fan on the stage, and it's like, "I think that's-"

F: I love that.

S: "-a Big Muff," or whatever, you know, I don't think you use one of those, but Swollen Pickle.

F: Yes! I do use a Swollen Pickle.

S: Yeah yeah yeah.

F: I've actually passed that along, though, to my brother-in-law, who uses it in the band. He plays guitar in my solo project, so he uses that a lot, and I actually ended up getting an older, like 70s, Tall Font Big Muff, that I've been using, and I actually finished a record 3 weeks ago, and it's on there a bunch. So, I'm pretty excited about that.

S: Yeah, right on. I can get in that stuff. I'll just spend all day on the internet looking at freaking pedals and stuff. Like, I don't even- I mean, I play, but I don't ever play out. It's just in my home, you know?

F: That's fine.

S: And my wife is like, "Man, that's a lot of pedals for a dude who doesn't even record music." And I'm like, "Yeah, but-"

F: "That's my tone, honey!"

S: "You get these sounds!" Yeah, I'm like, "Babe, I'm trying to find my tone." Yeah.

F: "That's why I haven't played out yet, I haven't found the right tone! You're interrupting me!"

S: Yeah, I'm like, "I'm writing songs, I'm creating in here! Just leave me alone." Yeah. But you can get lost in that stuff.

F: Oh, definitely. Definitely. And that's the thing too, is like, you know, each one is different, man. They're all like snowflakes, dude. Like, "Oh yeah, this is a distorter but this is a fuzz, and this is an overdrive and this is a preamp."

S: Yeah, and then dialing each one in when you plug in another.

F: Oh man, and then you switch the order!

S: Oh my gosh, you switch the order and it's a whole new world.

F: Yeah, definitely.

S: No, it's crazy. We just moved about 4 years ago, we moved in to a new house, and it was built in 1880.

F: Oh.

S: So, in New England, everything's old. A lot of stuff is really old. And so, we got one room that I can sorta, I call it the music room, where it's set up. I got my guitars in there, amps, all that stuff, it's cool. But when we were- that was one of the main selling points of the house for me, was like, "Oh, I'd have space to just sorta do this." Not that I need it, necessarily, but it's nice to have it. So, we're closing on the house, and the real estate agent is like, "Alright, cool, so, inspection was good," running through all of that stuff, "The playscape is gonna stay, you know about the garage, it needs to be fixed, there's some stuff upstairs they need to take out, and of course you know about the dollhouse." And we're like, "Uh, no? What dollhouse?" And they're like, "The dollhouse in your basement." I'm like, "What dollhouse in the basement?" She's like, "You didn't notice the-" I'm like, "No!" She's like, "Oh, well, for the last 5 owners, this dollhouse has been in the basement and it sort of comes in the house, it stays in there. No one's ever removed it." I was like, "Nope. Forget it, I don't want the house. Forget it." That's- now, there's nothing inherently weird about a dollhouse

F: Oh, yes there is!

S: But when they say it like that.

F: Oh yeah.

S: Like, "Oh, and of course, you know about the dollhouse, right?" "No, what dollhouse?"

F: That's a deal ender right there.

S: Yeah.

F: Fuck, god.

S: Like get the- so, then, I started developing this whole theory that what happens is, if you do something in the house, or somehow disrespect it or something, or get on the bad side of whatever spirits are living there, you're shrunken down into a miniature person.

F: And then you live in the dollhouse, yeah.

S: You're doomed to live in the dollhouse for eternity.

F: Oh man. You know what movie really freaked me out as a kid? It was Cat's Eye, with that little elf guy who, kinda like, goes in their room and he has that little knife, and he tries to steal the breath of the little kids? But I feel like if you live in a dollhouse, like, that you probably have to steal child breath.

S: I feel like I've seen the cover of that VHS tape.

F: Oh, it's so fucked up, dude.

S: Yeah. Is that your favorite horror movie? Are you a horror movie guy?

F: I do like them. I do. I wouldn't say connoisseur. I would say kinda? But that- here's the thing. I really bonded with my dad. Of course, my dad was a drummer, so we bonded over music. But the other thing that we bonded over was horror movies. So, like, you know, Vincent Price and stuff like that, and then I kinda convinced him to show me other stuff that I wasn't' supposed to see yet, and we would just, on the weekends, we would just watch horror movies constantly, and listen to records. So, yeah, that's- yeah. I remember, but like, certain ones leave that impression on you, you know.

S: Definitely. Some of them just leave the impression because they're weird, some are gory, some just scare the shit out of you.

F: Yeah. What's your favorite? If you have one.

S: Well, you know, as a kid, I really- it's kind of basic to say but Halloween really scared me, actually.

F: Okay, yeah.

S: Just because there was something about the face, and you know what? It really does, truly-

F: Shatner, man. He's terrifying.

S: -terrify me. Yeah, he was a scary dude. Random acts of violence really scare me. You know? Like, that's something that actually- that movie, The Strangers?

F: Oh, yes! I love that movie. I won't go see the second one.

S: No!

F: Because I think they ruined it. But that movie is terrifying.

S: I got into- I got about 20 minutes into that movie and I looked at my wife, and I said, "I think we just made a huge mistake. I don't think that we should be watching this." Because it just, there's something about- they're sitting there, there's this young couple, they're working out, "Should we stay together, should we not?" and the whole time, there's these people in the room with them, and they have no idea.

F: No idea, yeah.

S: Holy sh-. That's scary!

F: I saw that movie in theaters, right. It was like, a midnight showing, right, because I wanted to see it really bad. The night it was coming out, was maybe a Thursday night, or something like that. So, we went to the midnight showing, me and my wife and a friend of ours, and we're in there, and all of a sudden this lady rolls in a baby carriage, and sits down in the front row, and it's packed. I mean, it's packed. I'm like, "That's really, kinda weird. Odd, but whatever." So, the movie starts, and all of a sudden the baby wakes up, and is terrified and it's like, "It's fucking midnight! Why am I here?" And so, the baby starts screaming, and everybody's like, "Yo, what are you doing here?" And she stands up and goes, "Deal with it!" And so, the guy behind me goes, "Put yo titty in its mouth!" And it was the greatest thing I've ever heard at a movie in my entire life. It was, actually, almost better than the movie.

S: You never get that experience-

F: You never get that experience ever again.

S: "Put your titty in its mouth."

F: "Put your titty in its mouth!" I mean, could've worked, I don't know.

S: That's great. And that's The Strangers.

F: That was The Strangers, yeah.

S: That's what you took away from that movie.

F: That baby, yeah. Yeah.

S: Wow, that's great. That's a serious experience. That's what you get at a midnight showing of a horror movie.

F: That's true. This is true.

S: You know? Yeah. So, let's see. You have a podcast coming out. What else is going on now? You did Frank Iero and the Patience was last year. You released something last year but the- two years ago was your last album.

F: Yeah, so, two years ago was the last full length, and then we did an EP last year, finished recording the new record, like I said about, 3 weeks ago, and that will be out, I believe- we haven't announced it yet, so I'm thinking it's-

S: Is this news? Is this breaking news?

F: We're breaking news.

S: Is this an exclusive?

F: Yes. It might be wrong, though, I don't know.

S: You never know.

F: Maybe April or May, I think is what we're discussing right now.

S: Do you have to shop labels and all that?

F: It's strange. We're starting a new relationship with a new label, I'm pretty excited about it. But again, it's all new, and the papers should be signed this week, so I probably shouldn't say anything else. Unless Mickey has anything to do with it, I don't know.

S: So, about two years ago, I won't get into it too much, but I have to ask.

F: Yes yes yes.

S: Like, two years ago, anniversary of The Black Parade.

F: Oh!

S: Everybody kinda went bonkers thinking about a reunion. Right?

F: That did happen. Here's the thing. Well, was it two years ago?

S: Well, it would've been 2006, did that come out?

F: Right. Okay, oh, it's 2018, yeah you're right. 2016.

S: So, it was like two years ago, ish.

F: So, what happened was, we wanted to do a 10 year anniversary release of it. And we had some demos left over, and songs that didn't make the record, and we're like, "Oh cool, we'll put it all together, and-" Every year, we meet and we have a barbecue kinda thing, and we'll- that's like, we'll have the barbecue, the kids'll hang out, and then we'll discuss business for the next year, basically. And so, we're like, "That'd be really cool. We should do a little teaser trailer for it." And so, we said, "Alright, that's what we'll do." And we told the lady what we wanted, and they made this trailer, and released it, and all of a sudden we're like, "Oh wait... Everyone's real confused."

S: "We're just doing an anniversary release. Not a tour."

F: Yeah. And then we had to come out and be like, "Oh... That was- we were just excited but..."

S: "At the barbecue, it made a lot more sense."

F: Yeah!

S: "It was much more clear when defined at the barbecue."

F: "It was so much clearer then!" But here's the thing, we were always a theatrical band, so like, we wanted to continue in that fashion, but when you're not a band any longer, it's probably harder to do that. We didn't realize.

S: I'm always fascinated that there's business. Bands will say like, they breakup, or they're not together, they go on hiatus, whatever the right wording is. But they're still always business to be done. You'll read- I like reading music biographies, and it'll be like, "The worst breakup ever: Van Halen still has to get together once a year to sign papers." You know? And you're like, "Oh my god! That must be so crazy."

F: Especially if you hate each other. That's gotta be really awkward.

S: Oh, it's gotta be super weird. So, well, 2020 is coming up.

F: Uh huh.

S: That would be another anniversary for you guys.

F: For what?

S: I don't know if you're- isn't Danger Days-

F: Was that 2010?

S: I think so.

F: Alright.

S: I think that's 2010. I'm just giving you the heads up.

F: Just another opportunity to disappoint people like that.

S: "Sorry." Is that, sort of, there's gotta be a blessing and a curse in that pressure on you guys.

F: Yeah.

S: Like, people want you to.

F: Right.

S: Which is really great and you have that option. But then they also expect you to, which is sort of like, "Eh, just... Let us figure this out."

F: Right. I imagine it's a lot like the holidays, you know, and you go to like, your family and they're like, "You should marry that Dennis. You should go back to school." And you're like, "Ah yeah, that's not really, you know, I'm doing- I got this thing happening." And they're like, "Yeah, but that was so nice when you- You could've been-"

S: "What about that nice thing?"

F: Yeah, exactly. The weird thing about it is, is that we all still get along really well. It's just that we're kinda focused on other aspects and other projects. And I feel like when the band- when we knew the band was over, we didn't wanna do the hiatus thing, because I feel like that leaves this weird open ended discussion of, "When is it gonna come back? When's it gonna come back?" And you'd just be hounded by that, and you can't really focus on anything else you're doing, because you're just going to be hounded by these questions of that. Little did we know, that we'd still have it. But we thought, like, "Alright, well, if we're going to end it, we're gonna put a bullet in its head and end it the way that we started it." You know, for all the right reasons. As far as, you know, it being- it's crazy to me that the band is almost bigger now than it ever was when we were doing it, you know? And I feel like that's really interesting, and really flattering that it's taken on a life of its own, and we've been passed on to younger generations. That's how I found out about bands, you know.

S: Sure, yeah.

F: You know, older siblings or older friends. They'd be like, "Listen to this tape, this is the real shit. You're listening to some stuff that you think is cool, but it's not. Like, listen to this." And that's rad, man. I love being in a band like that. It's strange to me when I'm touring currently on a project, and say you get a cover of a magazine for that project, and then two months later, you're on the cover of the same magazine as a legendary artist. I'm just like, "Oh shit, that's real weird."

S: "I didn't get that old yet."

F: Yeah!

S: "I can't be a legend!"

F: Eh, kind of.

S: "How could I be a legend?" You know what, man? That's what I love, though, about people-

F: Or- not legendary, I'm sorry, "classic artist."

S: Oh, a classic.

F: I don't want everyone to go- yeah.

S: When I first started in radio, one of my first jobs was at a classic rock station, and they were playing Nirvana and stuff like that, and I'm like, "Hold up. What?"

F: That's scary.

S: "How is that classic rock? It's been 10 years!"

F: It is, man.

S: That's it.

F: I know.

S: I love that there's people our age, because we're pretty close. I'm 40.

F: Okay. 37.

S: And so, we- a lot of times, my friends are like, "Dang, you still going to shows, or whatever, doing this?" And I'm like, "Yeah, but everybody that I'm going to see is my age."

F: Right, yeah.

S: You know?

F: Yeah, exactly.

S: It's not like, there's a lot of us that still- it's not let go, but it's just who you are in a way.

F: Yeah.

S: Now, I'm not a musician or anything like that, but I'm still so into all of the same things from when I was 16, somehow. I'm just in an adult about it now.

F: I hear you. It's strange to me too, like, a lot of those bands that we both grew up listening to are kinda having this resurgence, and new fans are coming in, and it's really awesome to see those bands get their just dues, you know?

S: And you're gonna be in that loop.

F: We'll see, I don't know. I mean, that's nuts. Here's the thing, you gotta think about this, right? The last show that the Misfits ever played, right? Not now, but-

S: Not the new.

F: Yeah. But like, when they were doing it, I mean, how many people did they play to? 800 maybe? Like, that was a lot. I know they played Irving Plaza at some point. So, the cap on that now is like, 11, but back then, I think it was less. Let's say 1,000 people. That's huge numbers for punk rock, right? I know about punk rock, that's crazy.

S: Yeah.

F: What did they get paid for it? I don't know, I mean, could they have gotten 5 grand? That's a lot, that'd be a lot back then. Now, they're headlining Prudential Center.

S: The Prudential Center.

F: What the fuck?! That's crazy!

S: And they'll only do it for a minimum.

F: A minimum! Like- My god.

B: That was a ride.

S: Wow, that was a rollercoaster ride of-

B: Talk about something.

S: He's a cool dude, man.

B: He's funny, too.

S: What a really nice guy.

B: He seems like a prankster. You know what I mean? He seems like he would be a guy that would be fun at a party.

S: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think he had a pretty good time. I think he had a pretty good time. And you know, he- one of the things that I love about interviewing people now, especially bands like that, a lot of these guys are my age, and we're sort of all in this same stage of life where we're all married, we're all having kids, we all have families, but still go to shows and stuff.

B: Yeah, maintaining the other.

S: Yeah. And I love relating to people on that level, where Frank is talking about- we could both talk about taking out kids to soccer practice, and he's like, "Oh yeah, the other parents will drive you nuts," or something, you know. He's right in that same space, which is pretty cool. And that helps me whenever I start thinking to myself sometimes, where I'm like, "I don't know, I'm 40 years old, maybe I should move on." But I just can't, you know? It's just part of who you are, it's just part of your DNA, I think.

B: Yeah, just keep it in balance.

S: Yeah. Like, I'm not stage diving anymore. But I still like going to shows. I still like watching bands, and people like Frank Iero help me maintain that, and feel like, "Yes. See? It's not just me. I'm not always the old guy there. There's other people. They're all holding on." I love it.

B: I'll get there someday.

S: Yeah, you will. It happens.

#frank iero #off the seton path #dan patrick show

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zelos-official-armrest · 5 years

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Seoul Limited and Forever with Babyz (Madrid)

I’m about half a year late, but I just want to share a bit of my B.A.P concert experiences both in Seoul Limited and Forever With Babyz tour in Madrid. You know, if anyone’s interested…

First of all, how did I get to Seoul? I applied for a month-long summer university program and I got a smaller tuition fee thanks to my schools being partner universities. Still, it took me about 5 years to get enough funds. I’m not going to talk much about that in here, but it was the most amazing time of my life. I do advise everyone not to ONLY go there for running after a potential Korean boyfriend tho. The culture is so much more than kpop-related fantasies.

Ok, on to the actual topic- B.A.P. While in Seoul, I did want to see the TS building with my own two eyes (so I’d know where to go to throw the tomatoes, haha). Therefore, one evening me and my fellow coursemate/ friend went to look for it, but apparently that day B.A.P and TRCNG had a practice there as it came out. When we approached the building, Zelo was chatting with someone in front of the house, but seeing us coming scared him off and he fleed to the building. I felt so sorry for him, because it must be a common occurrence for them to not get privacy even there by the way he reacted. So, I got nervous because I really wanted to have a picture in front of the building, but I didn’t want to be causing any discomfort to them. Me and my friend decided to take a picture real quick and I kinda got my two half-blurry pictures in front of the building.

Here’s potato me making TS surrender to the Matoki power:

When we stood back a bit, I saw TRCNG entering the house and we decided to leave. While we were walking away, around the corner came Himchan who was, for some reason, followed (basically cornered) by a bunch of blonde chicks (stalkers I guess?). Since I was a bit too close, for some reason I thought it would be really impolite if I didn’t say anything so I bowed and let out „annyeonghaseyo“ (It’s really weird to type it out like that). He answered me with a nod and when he had entered TS, some Korean fans who were following set themselves to wait outside the doors. That was the last we saw them as we moved further away from the place…

Before going to the summer program and buying the plane tickets to Korea, I didn’t know B.A.P would have a concert. When it was announced, I praed for the dates to overlap with my stay. I was incredibly lucky, because B.A.P’s first Seoul Limited concert was on the last day of my stay. The day itself was super-hot (38+ degrees) and I had a lot of troubles from moving out the dorms with all of my luggage etc. In the morning I managed to go to the venue to buy some merch (got myself a matoki whistle and a t-shirt). In the afternoon, there were already fansites distributing free merch (got also 2 banners, but I lost my shiny Zelo banner at the concert T_T).

The queueing was so different from European stops, where we camp in front of the venes. Here you had a number on a ticket and you just went and looked for your spot in the line and everything went smoothly. I actually had bought two tickets, because I was hoping for someone to go with me (and to get more people to appreciate B.A.P, lol). I did manage to get a friend from the program to come with me, so it was a success. The venue was really well ventilated and the sound system was great. B.A.P had a live band to back them up and they put on a great show as always. Too bad I couldn’t really understand much when they did their talking. In the crowd, there was a couple and B.A.P pointed at them and stated that „This is how you take your girlfriend out. You take her to a B.A.P concert !“, and they continued to chat for a bit. The best things from the concert- Coma rock version, Blind and small snipets from songs fans had selected as the ones they want to hear from B.A.P the most, watergun fight, new solos and tons of adlibs. Even though my ticket queue number was quite big, the stage was so well built that when idols came off from the main stage to those cat-walks, I had maybe only 2 rows of people in front of me making it the closest I’ve been at a concert.

This is basically how I saw them went they came near:

But there is one thing I found different from previous concerts. I don’t know if it was because I was really nervous about my flights and everything that day, but the crowd in Europe felt more passionate. I guess it is just in the way we cheer. I mean, their fanchants and everything was on point, but somehow it felt more calm and collected that I was used to. Either way, I loved that I could be there with OT6 and that Jongup released his cute MV for Annoying as a memory of that day. Oh, oh, and I finally got on Himchan’s fancam J. Really blurry, but I know it’s me. Thank you Channie!

Moving on to my Madrid experience. At first, I didn’t really plan to go to another tour because I’d already seen them this year, but the fact that there were tickets with best perks I never really managed to get before still available started creeping on me. I had to decide whether to wait for the mess that was Berlin ticket sale or settle for the Madrid one. I decided to save myself from the excess stress and take the Madrid VVIP. I don’t regret going one bit even though the Youngbros organisation was freaking awful. As VVIP holders, we were promised more time at the high-touch than VIP but nothing like that happened. The signed poster was actually just printed on and they had ran out of black beanies before even half the VVIPs could pass the counter.

Just a small look at the merch etc:

The worst thing was that they messed with B.A.P’s sound system so some time the microphones didn’t really work and the security guys didn’t pay any attention to people fainting in the crowd, which Daehyun and Zelo had to point out to them (Zelo tried to get their attention in Spanish, Daehyun wanted to stop the song to resolve the case) and Jongup threw his own water bottle to fans in need. The concert itself was really good (even though we still missed Bang and were chanting his name from time to time). I loved being able to hear Howler in it’s Spanish home and Zelo went wild with the butt-slaps and butt-wiggles. During Do What I Feel, he threw his towel to the crowd and guess who was the lucky one to catch it! It still has his makeup on tho :D.

Haha, towel-kun has seen some things... At this point I knew. For 5 years, I didn’t manage to choose a bias in B.A.P. That was the day my bias chose me (lolololol)

The only kind of OK clips that I got from the concert was Youngjae’s acapella “I’m happy” and Jongup’s “Try my luck”, because I was trying to enjoy the concert too much which resulted in my hands being extra shaky.

There was also a lottery where they chose a random number and a fan for every member got a small canvas bag with member’s drawing and autograph on it. And a hug. At some point, Youngjae managed to hurt his shoulder, I hope he is ok now. Them teaching us the fanchant for All the way up was pretty memorable since they almost booed Daehyun off the stage because he couldn’t contain himself and do the right thing. And Zelo just went like “OMG, it’s our song”. We also had a support project for Himchan where we held his banners and chanted his name.

My high-touch experience. While we were standing in a line, the organisers started to let B.A.P take their positions near the wall. To get there, B.A.P walked through a small bordered area which was right next to where some of us were queueing. I noticed Himchan and told him “annyeong” for which he raised his head, looked at me and just had the cutest smile ever on his face. I made Himchan smile, everyone! I don’t know if he noticed that this is the one person who never manages to greet him correctly (me in Warsaw, Seoul and now Madrid). He was also first in line at high-touch and he was still so extra smiley at me.

To sum up the high-touch experience, this is basically it:

B.A.P with their beautiful hands vs Me coming from a jungle

And then this 1 second you had to admire all the beauty

I mean, there were so many things I wanted to say (just one sentence to each member), but I couldn’t do anything because it was too fast. I tried to tell them stuff in English or Korean, but they tried to tell me stuff in Spanish and in English and it was honestly such a mess. It was so funny. Then right after we had the group photo so I fastened my steps and got next to Zelo. After everything I just had to go to him. I could tell he did something over my head while taking the picture since he was touching it, but I had no actual idea what. The picture turned out better than I expected. I am not really good friends with cameras, specially when I don’t even know, where the cameraman is or when the picture is exactly taken. Got the cutest photo ever and I will now officially present my short ass as “Zelo’s armrest” since this is what he used me as.

Tbh, I had to photoshop my face on the picture a bit, because the camera reflected on me so bad that I looked like a Christmas tree in a Colgate commercial. Literally.

Anyways, after the short time for pictures, I could pass by all of them again and thanked them, especially Zelo, when I turned around. I love them all so much and I had soft hours for days after we got to know that Zelo shouldn’t have even been on the tour but he insisted to come. Made it all 10 times more memorable and important.

I wish I could also go to Yongguk’s tour. I don’t know if it’s possible, because I have already emptied my bank account for them. So I guess we’ll see what happens. I hope he receives a lot of love and support anyways.

That’s it, folks!

#bap #b.a.p #bapinmadrid #seoul limited #concert experience

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dr-gloom · 6 years

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This is Halloween (Everybody Make a Scene)

Day 2 of the Sander’s Sides Spook Month! Oi Vey

Prompt: Trick-Or-Treating

Fandom: Sander’s Sides

Paring: LAMP/CALM

Words: 4,326 (sorryyyyy)

Summary: Patton really wants to go trick-or-treating and manages to convince his boyfriends, but not everyone is as enthusiastic as him about the idea of adult trick-or-treaters.

Tags/Warnings: genderfluid Patton, Nightmare Before Christmas all over the place, I’m not sorry, some anxiety but let’s be honest I can’t write anything with Virgil without him freaking out at some point, mean suburban mom, can anyone feel my distaste for the suburbs yet?

Enjoy!

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Patton couldn’t believe no one was going trick-or-treating this year! Sure, they were all adults, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t have fun on Halloween. For some people, this meant going to haunted houses, or throwing parties, or watching horror movies. However, Virgil’s anxiety, Logan’s too-logical standpoint, and Roman’s tendency to have vivid nightmares for days when he was scared meant that the four couldn’t exactly participate in these things. That was fine with them; they didn’t need to go to crowded, noisy parties or scare themselves on purpose. That’s why they went trick-or-treating!

At least, they used to. The four of them had practically grown up together (with the exception of meeting Virgil in middle school) and they’d always trick-or-treated together for as long as Patton could remember. The tradition even carried on into high school, though Virgil was a little more reluctant after freshman year, which confused Patton (they always managed to talk him into it at the last minute though). Now that they’d graduated and were making plans for their future, the two calmer men had taken it as a sign to stop with the tradition. It was unacceptable!

Patton had been blowing up their group text for weeks with Halloween memes and requests to join him for trick-or-treating for the past few weeks, and so far, all he’d gotten was a confirmation from Roman – who he knew would never skip out on trick-or-treating – and a series of ‘lol’s from Virgil. Logan blatantly ignored anything to do with Halloween, instead sending the other three reminders to get to bed on time, do their assignments, or set their alarms for work. And he called Patton the worrywart.

Patton huffs as he checks his phone, shouldering his bookbag as he leaves his English class. Nothing from any of his boyfriends. Of course. Virgil was either asleep - seeing as he worked nights – or doing homework weeks before it was due – and Roman was undoubtedly at the theater rehearsing. He wouldn’t answer his phone for anything short of a fire. Someone shoulder-checked Patton, muttering something about ‘inconsiderate’ and ‘phones’, but Patton chose to ignore them. He wouldn’t let one grumpy gus sour his good mood!

He sends another message then pockets his phone, heading to the cafeteria. He just had to wait until Logan got out of class and Virgil got to school. He grabs their usual table in the corner of the cafeteria and sets his stuff spread out across the table, effectively reserving the space and letting himself drift off in thought. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting like this when someone knocked on the table, startling him out of his thoughts. He looks up, smile growing on his face as he takes in Logan standing in front of him. He jumps up, darting to the other side of the table and pulling his boyfriend into a tight hug.

“Logan! Did you get out of class early?” Logan hugs back, his hold gentle but firm. “No, I believe you were simply stuck in your thoughts again, Patton.” Patton grins, letting go of Logan and rocking back on his feet.

“Well, I can’t help it! I was thinking about you-“ Logan blushes. “-and how much fun we’re gonna have trick-or-treating!” Logan blinks, processing what Patton said and groaning. “You’re still going on about that? I thought I told you, we’re far to old to be participating in such juvenile activities.” Patton sighs softly and gives Logan his best Kicked Puppy face. He can’t say no to that!

“No, Patton.”

“… Fine.” Patton wasn’t giving up, though. He will get Logan and Virgil to agree! The two sit down, Logan sitting across from Patton, quickly launching into conversation about their classmates and crazy professors. Virgil shows up not long after, slumping into the chair beside Patton and tiredly accepting his hug.

“Hey V! Did you get lots of sleep?” Virgil shrugs, splaying out over the chair like a true Disaster Gay™. “I slept a few hours last night.” Patton pouts, slumping his shoulders. “Then what’ve you been doing all day?” Virgil looks at his lap, picking at his nails. Patton frowns. “You were pacing your room worrying again, weren’t you?” Virgil doesn’t say anything. Patton’s frown deepens and he rotates his chair to fully face Virgil, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and folding his hands together. “Come on, Virge, talk to us. What’s wrong?”

Virgil looks off at some distant corner as he speaks, unable to make eye contact. “I… Well, you want to go trick-or-treating this year…” Patton perks up slightly. “… I want to too, you know I love Halloween, but… Logan’s right. We’re too old. What if people stare at us? Or get mad at us? I don’t want some suburban mom sneering at us in front of a bunch of kids…” He shrugs, picking at his cuticles. “It’s dumb, I shouldn’t be worried about this, but I am. Sorry.”

Patton shakes his head and takes Virgil’s hands, stopping his nervous habit, his eyes drawn to the blue bracelet on Patton’s wrist. “Hey, none of that. Your worries are always valid, because they’re something that matters to you… If you really don’t want to go trick or treating this year, we don’t have to. But! If we do, it’ll be a ton of fun, whether something happens or not.” He notices Virgil’s expression, tacking on, “And if something does happen, you know me, Lo, and Ro will be right there with you to give ‘em what for!” He pulls back to mime an upper cut and Virgil snrks. Patton’s smile re-appears, and he squeezes the hand he’s still holding. “Whatever you decide to do, I’ll respect your decision, okay?”

Virgil squeezes back, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Thanks, Pat.”

After that, the three boyfriends chat about school, the more resigned mood of the previous conversation quickly forgotten. Logan has to head to astrology not long after, bidding Patton and Virgil farewell and promising to stop by Patton’s apartment tomorrow. Once he’s gone, Patton turns back to Virgil, his bright smile turning to something softer.

“You doing okay now?”

Virgil nods, glancing at his hands. “Yeah… you sure you’d be okay with not trick or treating, though? I know you were really looking forward to it.” Patton’s mouth quirks to the side and he shrugs. “Well, I’ll be kinda bummed, because it’s super fun, but I’d much rather be with you guys than walking around by myself for candy I can buy. It’s about the experience.” He wiggles his eyebrows at Virgil. “But if we do,” He leans over and whispers in Virgil’s ear, smirking when the other shivers. “I have a feeling you’ll really like my costume.” When he sits back, Virgil’s face is absolutely red. Virgil pulls his hood up and ducks his head down, grumbling under his breath about ‘unfair sexy assholes’. Patton laughs, standing up and patting Virgil on the head.

“I gotta head to class, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” Virgil nods. “Yeah Pat, see you tomorrow.” Patton leans down as Virgil tilts his head up, the two sharing a brief kiss before Patton runs off to class. Virgil was practically guaranteed to come trick-or-treating now! Maybe Logan will be easier to convince now that he’s the only one resisting.

Patton paces their living room, practically vibrating with excitement. Their boyfriends were coming over!

Okay, so they came over pretty much every free day they had, and they saw Logan and Virgil at school at least three times a week, but still! They’re coming over! And they love them so much! And they were all going to have fun, watch movies, and (if Roman brought over his manipedi set like last time) do their nails! Patton glances at the purple bracelet on their wrist, the stamped-on words reading ‘they/them’. They’d been a gift from Logan when Patton came out as genderfluid. They had a purple one for they/them days, which they were wearing now, a blue one for he/him days, and a pink one for she/her days.

Maybe they’ll have Roman paint their nails purple this time.

A knock sounds at the door, and Patton rushes to answer it, yanking the door open and bouncing on the balls of their feet. Virgil stood on the other side of the doorway, hunched in on himself with his hands shoved in his pockets. His bulky headphones sat around his neck, meaning Virgil was feeling more anxious than usual; he had earbuds, but he used the headphones when he was feeling particularly anxious – they blocked out noise better and made it obvious he didn’t want people talking to him. Patton steps aside, chewing on their lip slightly.

“Kiddo, you know you can just walk in! This apartment is just as much mine as it is any of yours.” Virgil shrugs, sitting on the coffee table. “I know, I just feel weird walking into other people’s homes, even if that person is my-“ He hesitates slightly, and Patton just catches the movement of his eyes glancing down at their wrist. “-datemate. Actually, that makes it more awkward; what if you were making out with Roman? I’ve been humiliated enough.” Patton laughs at that, feeling their cheeks heat up slightly. “Okay, I get it. How about next time you text me and I’ll let you know if it’s safe?”

Virgil nods, propping his feet on the couch. “Sure, sounds good.” He looks around for a moment before adding, “Any idea when the others are going to get here, by the way?” Patton pulls out their phone. “Lo said he’d be here soon, and that was fifteen minutes ago, but you know how he can be.” Virgil chuckles. “Roman said he has to finish running through lines, so he’ll be here around noon. Which is in…” They check their cat wall clock, despite having a phone in their hand. “Twenty minutes!”

Virgil nods, and Patton sits on the couch, starting up a movie. Virgil turns around, sitting criss-cross on the coffee table, and leans back so his head is in Patton’s lap. His chest is hanging precariously in mid-air, making Patton laugh as they card their fingers through Virgil’s plumb-pigmented hair. They’re twenty minutes into the movie when Logan walks in, knocking on the door as he opens it. Patton grins at him from the couch and looks at Virgil’s upside-down face. “See? Lo gets it.” Virgil just sticks his tongue out, making Patton laugh as they turn their attention back to Logan. “Hey Lo! We’re just watching Nightmare Before Christmas, you wanna join?” Logan looks at the TV as he sits in the armchair. “I take it we’re waiting on Roman, then?” The two on the couch nod and Logan sighs softly. “Well, as far as Disney goes, I suppose we could do a lot worse than Nightmare Before Christmas.” Patton claps excitedly and goes to unpause the movie, jumping when the door suddenly opens.

“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere ̴!”

Virgil smirks. “Then go, no one’s stopping you.”

Roman flops down on the couch, his head on Patton’s shoulder. “But not today ‘cause I am tired ̴.” Patton pats Roman’s head. “Bad day at work?” Roman sighs, shrugging softly. “There’s no such thing as a bad day in theater! But if there was… This would definitely fall into that category.” Patton makes an upset sound, hugging Roman. Virgil sits up and turns around to face the other three, looking at Roman. “What happened? I didn’t think theater nerds ever had bad days; all of you are always way too energetic and happy.” Roman laughs slightly, shaking his head. “It was sort of a Murphy’s Law kind of day. The costumes came back from the cleaners with some sort of disgusting residue on them that we can’t get off, my co-star fell off the stage and got a concussion, the director’s partner is in the hospital… No one could focus, and we’re performing next week.”

Virgil and Logan share a look as Patton rushes to make Roman feel better. “Don’t worry Ro! I’m sure everything will sort itself out and you guys will have a great show!” Roman doesn’t look like he believes them, so they continue. “You know what’d help distract you? Planning for trick-or-treating!” Roman perks up, looking between his partners. “You got them to say yes? We’re going?” Logan shot Patton a look, though the latter didn’t seem too guilty.

“I have agreed to no such thing. Both myself and Virgil have agreed-“

“Actually…. I kind of, maybe, want to go…” Patton and Roman wear twin looks of enthusiasm, and Logan looks at Virgil like he just took the last copy of Sherlock Holmes. “I know, okay. I know. But… They really wanna do it, and we always have fun… So why not? At least one last time.” Patton glances between Logan and Virgil, holding their breath. Roman bounces slightly on the couch, bad day all but forgotten. Logan looks between the other three and sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “… Fine. Are we doing group costumes this year?”

His question was nearly drowned out by enthusiastic cheering.

Virgil messed with the fabric of his costume, wishing (not for the first time that evening) that he didn’t care about authenticity. This thing was itchy as hell. He looks up in the mirror, plucking at the burlap to pull it away from his arms. His body was thankfully protected by the pillows he was using as stuffing; The Boogey Man was pretty fat for a sack full of bugs. He checked his makeup one last time to make sure it was okay, thankful that it was supposed to be cold tonight and that he wouldn’t be overheating.

“Virge, come on! We’re going to miss all the candy!”

“Patently impossible; people often buy more candy than they could ever hope to distribute to avoid that dilemma.”

“Don’t logic me, Logan! You’re supposed to be Lock, stay in character!”

“I am; Lock is arguably the smartest of the three, next to Shock.”

Virgil shuts his door behind him, joining the other three in the living room. “So Patton’s the smartest, is what you’re saying.” Roman laughs, and Patton tries to stifle a laugh, wrist showing off a pink bracelet. Logan rolls his eyes.

“You know as well as I that Patton is Shock because she is having a ‘she day’, as we have grown to call it. She was going to be Barrel.” Roman throws an arm around Patton’s shoulders, leaning his weight against her slightly. “Well, she does look cute in that little witch dress, don’t you think?” Virgil looks at Patton’s costume, cheeks pinking slightly. He was ninety percent sure Shock’s dress was not supposed to be that short, or tight. Patton also had a wig on under her witch’s hat, styled to look more like Shock’s crazy hair. It’d taken almost an entire can of hair spray for Roman to get that right, but she looked great, Virgil had to admit.

“I was gonna be Shock even if this was a he or they day, and you know it! You’d never wear this dress, Lo.” Logan rolls his eyes again, adjusting his glasses.

“Yes, well, perhaps we should get going? Roman was insisting on not wasting anymore time.”

Roman jumps to attention, heading for the door. “Right! Off we go, gentleman! And lady.” He adds, winking at Patton and making her giggle. Virgil plucks at the burlap one last time before looking back at his apartment, standing in the doorway. He better not regret this.

They’d been out for about an hour now, methodically weaving their way through the local neighborhoods. Virgil had been extremely anxious in the beginning, hanging in the back of their little group and staying quiet whenever children would pass with their parents. After enough spontaneous singing (Roman) and peppy jokes and stories (Patton), he’d begun to calm down enough to really enjoy himself. Currently, they were headed down the block, skipping a few houses in favor of making their way to the richer neighborhoods; some kid had told Roman there were full-sized candy bars.

The divide between the social classes was apparent in the decorations; those with plenty of money and financial security were more comfortable blowing cash on fancy decorations like animatronic zombies or demon children. Virgil could see the first houses just ahead when he started catching the stares. And the whispers. The children pointing fingers. Parents squinting or shaking their heads. Virgil looked at the ground, a ball of embarrassment and shame tainting his previously good mood.

Patton noticed Virgil’s sudden silence and looked around, apparently catching on to the same thing as Virgil and hooking her arm in his burlap-clad one. “Hey.” Virgil looks up, eyebrows knit in a silent question. “It’s okay. It’s like Dr. Seuss said! Those who mind don’t matter. Right? Let’s have some fun, Virge.” Virgil looks at Patton’s face, pale with Halloween makeup, and nods. “Right. Sorry, Pat.” Patton just smiles and pats Virgil’s arm, walking with him behind Logan and Roman, who were debating the validity of a malevolent spirit attached to a body of water.

The first couple houses they’d visited did in fact have full-sized candy bars. The homeowners had given the four adults slightly strained smiles with the shouts of “trick-or-treat!” but had handed over the candy nonetheless. Virgil suspected it had something to do with there being children around; they didn’t want to ruin the Halloween spirit by yelling at people in costume. He shrugged it off, repeating Patton’s words in his head. Those who mind don’t matter.

The next block or so was full of less-than-pleased adults, muttering comments under their breath that even had Patton frowning a little under her mask that came with the Shock costume. They still got candy, though it was becoming increasingly hard to ignore the stares they were getting, or the comments being thrown in their direction passive-aggressively. Virgil squeezed his eyes shut briefly to ward off the negativity. Those who mind don’t matter.

The next couple houses shut their doors as soon as they saw Virgil and his partners.

Those who mind don’t matter.

Patton didn’t let it get to him, insisting to the others that there’d be more houses further down the road. Besides, they still had the rest of the regular neighborhoods! Those who mind don’t matter.

Roman had been telling the other three about the past week of rehearsals, or tech week, as they called it. Virgil was looking over at him over Patton’s shoulder as they all walked, not bothering with the thin sidewalks and instead travelling down the road like many parent groups did with their children. They’d been passing one such group as Roman monologued, waving his hands around. Virgil hadn’t been paying attention and ended up bumping someone with his shoulder, turning to apologize.

“Ah, shi- sorry about that, I-“

“Are you kidding me?” The woman turned to face him, glaring at him with a force Virgil would have thought completely unnecessary if his brain hadn’t just short-circuited.

“I- what?”

By this point, both groups had stopped, noticing the two had stopped. Logan kept Roman and Patton back, watching silently to see if the situation would evolve. The other parents stood behind the woman, keeping their children corralled as she went off on Virgil, who’d already begun to panic.

“Seriously, how old are you? And you’re out here trick-or-treating like some kid? That’s so immature! Not only that, it’s incredibly rude to the children! You’re taking their candy! Don’t you have a job, you little freeloader? Go get your own! What would your mom think if she could see you right now? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

That was enough for Roman. He pushed Logan out of the way, standing between Virgil and the woman. “That’s enough. You have no right to talk to him like that.” The woman scoffed, looking back to the other parents for a moment before turning back to Roman as Patton walked over and wrapped her arms around Virgil. “You all need to get your brains checked. This is a kid’s holiday, you don’t have the right to interfere with that! Grow up!” Logan joined Roman, his shoulders tense as he regarded the woman with cold indifference.

“I believe it is you who needs to ‘grow up’, madam. My partners and I were simply having a pleasant night. We haven’t bothered anyone who wasn’t okay with this. Several doors have been shut in our face, and we chose to simply walk away rather than demand compensation, as I have seen you do at the house of those lovely Jehovah’s Witnesses. You do realize they don’t celebrate any holiday, don’t you? That was incredibly childish and rude.”

The woman has the sense to look slightly embarrassed at that, and one glance at the other parents shows that they were pretty much in agreement with Logan but hadn’t said anything. Patton joins her boyfriends, still hugging Virgil, whose head is ducked down to hide his face in the hood of his costume (he was glad he’d refused a costume without a hood now). “Yeah! Why do you have to be so mean? He said he was sorry he bumped into you; he’s the sweetest guy I know! I think you need to say you’re sorry.” The woman sputters, looking affronted. “E-excuse me? Apologize? I didn’t-“

“You’re right, you didn’t apologize. That’s not very nice of you, miss. Don’t you want to be a good example for your kiddos?” Patton had that look on her face when she was determined to stand up for something, no matter the cost.

“Mom, seriously, just apologize so we can go? I want more candy.”

Thoroughly embarrassed, the woman stutters her was through an apology. Virgil mutters, “no big” and turns to keep walking, heading toward home. Both groups depart, Logan, Roman and Patton following Virgil with concerned looks. They finally catch up to Virgil at the end of the block, and Roman grabs his shoulder, spinning him around. He still hasn’t looked up from the ground, his hair and the hood obscuring his face. “Hey, come on Storm Cloud, what’s wrong?” Virgil shrugs out of Roman’s hold. “I just wanna go home, okay?” Patton and Roman share a worried look. “Okay… How about we head back to my place and watch Halloween movies?” Virgil shrugs, scuffing his shoe on the asphalt. “Fine, okay. Sure.”

The four head to Roman’s house, Patton holding Virgil’s hand the whole way back and not letting go until they walked through the front door. Logan sat on one end of the couch, and Roman on the other, leaving only the middle cushion for Virgil. He knew what they were up to, sitting between them with a roll of his eyes. Roman wrapped an arm around his shoulder, tucking Virgil’s head into his shoulder and running his fingers through the other’s hair. Logan took one of his hands, running his thumb along Virgil’s palm. Virgil closed his eyes, already feeling himself relax as the title screen for Nightmare Before Christmas played and Patton sat on the floor, leaning back against Virgil’s legs.

They weren’t even ten minutes into the movie when Virgil finally opened his eyes and spoke up. “I’m sorry, guys.” The movie was paused, and all three turned to face Virgil. “For what?” Virgil wasn’t exactly sure who asked; he refused to look up from his lap, and his pulse in his ears was making it hard to hear. Why were heartfelt moments so hard? He chewed on his lip for a moment, trying to force the words out past where they’d gotten stuck in his throat. The others waited patiently, watching Virgil try to draw up the courage to voice his thoughts.

“For ruining Halloween for you guys.”

Roman and Patton open their mouths to object, but Virgil cuts them off; now that he’d managed to say that much, the rest just came flooding out. “I know you were really looking forward to trick-or-treating, especially since we haven’t done it in a few years, and I just made you all come home because I couldn’t get over what one dumb parent said to me. You even said it yourself, Patton; those who mind don’t matter. It shouldn’t matter to me, but it does for some reason and I can’t get it out of my head. I feel like an idiot-.” Virgil’s voice chokes off as he feels tears well in his eyes. Great, first he ruins trick-or-treating, and now he’s going to cry. Perfect, good job, Virgil.

Roman tightens his hold on Virgil, and Logan resumes stroking his palm gently. Patton takes his free hand, drawing his focus. “Virgil. Do you remember what I said when I was trying to convince you and Lo to go trick-or-treating with me and Ro?” Virgil tried to think back. “…Your costume was gonna be hot?” Patton laughs and shakes her head. “Well, yeah, but not what I meant. I said I’d rather sit inside watching movies all night than trick-or-treating, if it was with all of you. Remember?” Virgil nods, cheeks slightly pink. Patton smiles. “I meant it, Virge. If I have you three, I’m fine watching grass grow!” Virgil laughs softly.

“Okay, I get it…. Thanks, Pat. Thanks guys.” The other two nods silently, cuddling closer to Virgil. As verbose as Roman could be, Patton was better at truly expressing how they all felt. Especially at times like this. Patton turns back to the TV, unpausing the movie and singing along to What’s This. Virgil’s smile softens his face as he closes his eyes again, truly allowing himself to relax in the presence of his boyfriends and non-binary datemate. Maybe tonight hadn’t been so bad after all.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders

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elleescritora · 5 years

Text

Goddess Gracious

Chapter 1

If the music had not been so good Jess probably would've left already. College parties were always a hit or miss in general but this one, surprisingly, was okay.

Walking to the other end of the over packed dorm building, she sipped her drink slowly taking in her surrounds. Cheap plastic cups had been scattered around the room by drunken dancers while others chose to gather in small groups, away from the noise, to converse. Christmas lights in all colours draped the walls creating an over saturated technicolour hue that did little to match the interior aesthetic of the dorm.

With the party in full swing, Jess decided that maybe this was good time distance herself from air that didn't reeked of alcohol. Needless to say, the outside wind was icy as it whipped across her slightly rosy cheeks. The girl's deep blue, dip dyed hair danced in all directions, geting caught in her ever present headphones and earrings, much to her annoyance. She reached for the thin elastic around her wrist and she tied her up into a messy ponytail to keep it at bay for the duration of her outdoor stay. Her ripped black jeans and violet jacket did little to keep her warm but regardless she preferred the coolness of the night.

The first semester of her first year was finally complete but somehow Jess felt that she hadn't made the best first impression. She had done mostly everything right. Or so she had thought, but word of her storming out of classes and disproving and back chatting teachers and students had spread like wildfire around the already gigantic campus of Carthom University. She wasn't trying to look for trouble, trouble like to look for her. Fortunately the rumours of her being "a lone wolf," or "too tempermental to handle," had subsided enough during the past few months that she was no longer avoided.

Taking a deep breath of the chilly air calmed her nerves and helped to quell her thoughts. She hated being labelled and outcasted for minor things.

Sometimes people would say hello to her, most times they wouldn't.

The only reason she was at this party in the first place was to provide a short playlist at the host's request. Not that she minded, making and playing music was practically her life. If people couldn't understand, at least music would.

"You do know it's a lot warmer on the inside right?"

Startled by the undetected voice, Jess spun around hastily causing her to almost crash into the stranger behind her.

Jess took in the appearance of the figure in front of her and instantly recognised the girl before her. Her cream coloured cocktail dress hugged her curves perfectly and the the black pumps she wore added a few inches to her height so she was able to meet Jess at eye level.

"Are you okay?" The older asked. Her voice calm but with a hint of amusement at Jess' reaction. "I saw you leave the party," she started, jabbing her thumb in the direction of the door a few feet away. " We haven't met before have we? I'm Ca-"

"Caroline, right. I know who you are. I mean everyone kinda knows who you are. It would be weird if people didn't know who you are," Jessica rushed, mouth moving before she could properly think about what she was saying.

"Uh, right yes.." spoke Caroline warily taking a step back from Jess. She wrapped her black coat at one herself as if to create a shield.

Jess didn't miss her actions and mentally slapped herself for coming off as a creep.

"Look, I know that sounded kind of stalkerish, but I swear I'm not one!" Hand flailing around to make a point. A beat passed between the two and Jess again slapped herself for the disaster that was her social skills.

"I'm just going to go," the words coming out strained from the older girl.

"Wait! Okay that was awkward for me too but I'm not some crazy person, I just recognised you from campus." Jess hoped she sounded level headed and by the relaxed look that crossed Caroline's features, she did.

"I'm Jess by the way," giving a friendly wave of her hand.

The older girl blinked at her before seemingly coming out of a daze and offered her manicured hand to Jess for a handshake. "Hello, Jess."

"Hi"

"Is Jess short for Jessica?"

"Yeah but they only call me that back home. Here, I'm just Jess," she stated.

"So, Just Jess, want to tell me why you ditched my party?"

Jess' eye widen at that. "Woah what? I thought Matt was the host?" 'He is the one I gave the playlist to,' she thought in confusion.

Caroline threw her head back letting out a laugh. Her rose gold coloured hair falling behind her shoulder at the sudden movement.

"Oh please, you think that idiot could plan anything?" Her eyes bright with hilarity at the thought of the ''ever high in the sky'' Matthew doing anything with a slither of coordination.

"A few of the second year girls in the building and myself planned this just for the shear hell of it." She explained wiping a tear from the corner of her left eye.

'People do stuff like this just because??' Jess thought. The blue haired girl didn't get how people would suddenly decide to throw a party out of boredom. 'There's nothing to celebrate; just why!?'

After a few moments of less than awkward silence, Jess turned back to look at the empty walk way in from of her. The light posts hardly did a good job of keeping the area lit but they still managed to give off a faint yellow glow. The grass on this side of campus was patchy and worn. Students of this faculty clearly didn't pay mind to the "keep off the grass," sighs that had been knocked over and trampled as well.

"This area is kind of a dump." She said flatly.

Caroline snorted at that. "What did you expect, a five star hotel?"

"You'll soon realize that Carthom is mostly full if big talk and no substance. Sure, the education you receive is all well and good but a lot of the people and surroundings suck," tiredness dripping from her voice.

The nonchalant manner in which she spoke didn't exactly encourage Jess to be excited about being enrolled into one of the top schools in the country. Caroline mostly gave off the vibe that she was aware of the university's problems, but did not care enough to fix them.

Deciding it best to change the subject before she could dwell on the matter, Jess looked towards the older girl. "I came out here for some fresh air, to answer your first question, why are you out here?"

Caroline groaned remembering her reason and became to pace in circles around Jess.

"I was waiting for my best friend to show up but it's taking her forever!" The exhaustion in her voice indicated that she had been waiting for a while now. "I swear Ricalda can be so late sometimes-"

Without warning a high pitched shriek was heard further down the walk way drawing both girls attention.

Caroline squinted trying to make out the two figures in the shadows and immediately knew who they were. Panic began to cloud her mind as the shrieks continuously grew louder. She grabbed Jess' wrist and sprinted towards the persons.

"We have to help her!" Answered Caroline, dread sinking into her mind as the seconds flew by.

'No, no, no, I can't let this happen again,' the thought swirled in her head as they got closer.

"What!? Who!?" Jess stressed, now alarmed by Caroline's out burst. She tried to keep up with the other's pace but was at a loss to what was happening.

"That's Ricalda!"

#tumblr books #books and libraries #literature #web series #series #teen #adventure #fantasy #goddess gracious #stories

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kitty35 · 6 years

Text

My Character

Bang Chan x Reader

Type - Almost fluff? Not sad, but not romantic. It’s kinda’ just life??

Summary - I sat watching the rain with my sketch book open, ready to be filled with designs and patterns that created something beautiful. Little did I know a guy who walked in liked the vide I gave off and wanted to turn me into a character for his newest story.

Follow up - Take It Slow

~~~

I had my sketchbook out in front of me while working on a new idea for my next project. After deciding I wanted to get away form the rush of life-where everything went fast and no one stopped-I had decided to visit my favorite little coffee shop. It was quiet and small with warm lighting and kind people. I chose to sit in the far corner at a booth that was pushed up against the widow. It had been raining since morning and didn’t look to be letting up any time soon. The rain brought colder weather, and I was glad I grabbed my over sized bomber jacket. It had a fabric hood that kept my hair dry when I first came in. A simple graphic t-shirt was underneath it and a pair of vintage, high-waisted, skinny jeans adorned my legs. My hair laid against my shoulders as I pushed it out of my eyes.

My focus was ever shifting from the people out side to my drawing to the people inside. One to the next to the last before starting the cycle over again only to repeat and repeat, not even realizing myself what I was doing.

“Here you go, one hot chocolate with marshmallows!” A girl who went to my college said, handing me a cute eggshell colored cup with my drink. “I made sure to put extra marshmallows in and toasted them for you.” She winked at me with a smile as I chuckled and smiled back.

“Thank you!” My voice was soft as I took the plate that the cup was on form her hands.

“If you want anything else, just gave me a wave.” She then left me to my drawing and drink. Turning back to my sketchbook, I began to half heartedly draw as I let my thoughts flow through my brain to my hand which I then transferred to the blank paper.

I’m not sure how long I had been there, my drink half full and now cold, my sketchbook two pages less empty then before I entered the restaurant. The thing that brought me out of my trance was a guy tapping my shoulder. Turning to look at him, he began to speak after knowing he had my attention.

“Can I sit there?” He asked, pointing to the seat across from me. His voice held an Australian accent that melted my heart. I nodded and smiled, thinking that he seemed like a nice boy. He took a seat and pulled out a notebook.

“Can I ask you something?” Our eyes meet.

“Sure.” I smiled, leaning in towards him as my arms crossed on the table.

“Can I make you into a character in my book?”

“Pardon?” My head tilted to the side as he chuckled.

“I saw you drawing and found you very aesthetically pleasing so I wanted to model you for one of my characters.”

“That’s fine with me.”

“Okay, can I ask you a few questions?”

“Of course.” He smiled at my already smiling face and began to pull out other papers from his bag. Deciding I could draw another time, I put my sketchbook away.

“Did you order anything to drink or eat?” I asked him as he set up. Briefly glancing up, he looked slightly taken aback by my question.

“No, I was going to but I didn’t know how long you’d stay here and I didn’t want to miss my chance to talk to you.” Nodding, I turned and called out to the girl who worked here. In a few seconds, she was at the table.

“Ooo~ Got a cute date I see?” She asked in a playful tone as I giggled. “What can I get you?”

“Oh, I’ll just have a black coffee please.” The boy ordered and she nodded before turning to me.

“I’m not getting anything, but I am paying for him.” I smiled and she nodded again and walked away.

“So…Can I know the name of the cute girl who is paying for my drink?” He asked, still looking for a few more papers.

“Depends, can I know the name of the cute boy who is interviewing me?”

“I’m Chan, or Chris. Which ever one you like.” His smile light up the room, making me reflect his expression.

“I’m (Y/n).”

“It’s nice to meet you (Y/n).” He said, looking up at me before his eyes went back down. “Ah~ Here it is!” The quiet happiness in his voice when he found the paper was cute and made me want to chuckle at his child like nature. “These are some pretty personal questions. Are you sure you’re okay with answering them to a stranger?” Scanning the paper, his eyes shifted up to look at me and gage my response fully.

“Of course I’m fine with it. If I wasn’t then I wouldn’t have said yes in the first place.”

“Okay, let’s get started. What are you scared of?”

“Manikins.” Was the first word to fall off my tongue.

“What?” He laughed out.

“No, no, no, hear me out. Those things are creepy! They are made to look human and they do! It’s a thing in the human brain, I forget what it’s called, but basically it signals if something is alive or not. This is why we find more mechanical robots cute and funny while almost realistic ones are weird. This kinda’ crosses over to manikins for me. They’re just weird.” Pausing, I realized what I just said. “You probably didn’t care about any of that.” I chuckled, sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck and looking down.

“No! That was perfect!” Noticing he was writing some of this stuff down, I stopped being so embarrassed about my explanation.

“Okay…” He said slowly as he finished scribbling down words only to look back up at me.

“What would you make a scene about in public?”

“I’m not sure…Probably if someone was abusing another thing or person.” For everything I said he wrote it down, shortening it so he could finish looking down and ask the next question.

“What would you give your life for?”

“Maybe my family…Yeah, family.”

“Here’s your coffee.” My friend said, placing the drink down as Chan smiled at her. She then left.

“Okay, and what are some major flaws you have?”

“I’d say I can be to nice and in my own world. I’m also oblivious to flirting. I work to hard or not at all. Things of that nature.”

“What are you reluctant to tell people?”

“What I’m actually feeling.”

“Are you in a relationship?”

“Currently, no.”

“Do you like guys or girls?”

“I like guys.” I laughed.

“You never know now, I had to ask.” He smiled back.

“Well, what about you? Do you like guys or girls?”

“I like girls.” He chuckled. “Okay, back to the questions. What is something you do that other people don’t?” I actually had to think for a second. Leaning back, I looked out at the window to see the people passing.

“I watch people. Let me explain this one too. I had a hard time growing up after I moved. It felt as if I should be able to be a kid, yet I was stuck in this depressing place. I lived like that for a few years.” Hearing his pencil scratching against the paper, I knew he was writing what I was saying. “I then began to go out side and just watch. I watched as people walked, as they ran or rushed to get to whatever or where ever they wanted to be. It wasn’t long after that where I really decided to pick up drawing. I drew everything I saw and for once, while in my own world, I felt happy. I’m not sure why I still do it. Maybe it’s because I know what it’s like to step back and see how rushed life is, how everyone wants the next thing before they even have the first. They want the relationship with out knowing the person. They want the raise with out even having the job. It’s just…I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point.” I laughed at my self, shaking my head at my stupid thoughts.

“No, keep going.” Chan said. Looking up at him, I saw his eyes sparkling with wonder and aw as he looked at me. So I did. We both talked about life and how we thought things should be different till the place closed.

“Hey, you two need to leave in a few minutes.” A random person told us. We looked around and realized no one was there anymore.

“Of course, we’ll leave as soon as we get everything packed.” I smiled as Chan packed up everything. The rain had stopped just a few minutes ago and the sky was dark. The air smelled of the water that had just fallen from the sky and it relaxed both of us.

“Do you mind if I ask for your number? I want to know you better.” Chan asked as we began to walk to my apartment.

“Yeah, you seem nice enough.” A smile spread across both of our faces as I put my number in his phone.

“It’s nice being able to talk to some one who thinks the same way as I do.” I quietly said once further down the path home.

“Yeah, normally people tell me to keep it in my writings or just to not talk about it.”

“Yeah.” I stopped in front of my building. “This is my stop.” I smiled and he raised an eyebrow.

“Same here.”

“Really? What floor?”

“3.”

“Oh, yeah, I live on 12.” I said as we walked in and went to the elevators.

“You must have an amazing view up there.”

“Yeah, it’s really calming to watch the cars go by at night.”

“I might need to join you some time.” He joked around as the elevator opened to his floor.

“You really should.” I smiled at him. He turned to me, holding the elevator while saying one last thing.

“You’ll make a great character.” We laughed.

“Thanks. I’ll see you around.” Smiling, he nodded then let the door close. Once the small room started to move up, I placed a hand over my heart. I knew he would turn out to be more than just an author who liked my style.

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incorrectshinraquotes · 6 years

Text

Fanfic: Tattoo

Summary: Elena wakes up one morning and finds a strange tattoo on her arm. Soulmate AU, kinda.

Main Characters: Elena, Rufus

Ships: Elena/Rufus