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thefanficmonster · 3 years

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Corpse Husband x Plus-sized Reader (Female)

Warnings: Body Image Insecurities, Low self-esteem, Swearing

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Feeling comfortable in her skin has hardly ever been the case for Y/N who’s been struggling with body image issues all her life. However, they only get worse when she sees the ‘type’ of girls her crush is into.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your request (hits close to home 😅) I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to fulfill it and post it but here it finally is and if you’ve stuck around long enough to read it, I hope you enjoy! ALSO! - Never forget how beautiful and amazing you are. Never compare your beauty to someone else’s. We’re all beautiful people and we all shine so brightly and uniquely. No one deserves to be compared to anyone when we’re all so different yet so incredible. Love you and appreciate you with all my heart, Vy ❤

If I ever need my ego taken down a few notches - it never does, it’s barely even present, to be honest - all I have to do is go on Instagram. To be honest, regardless of how I’m feeling, opening that app is bound to make my mood plummet and come crashing into the ground so hard it drives a hole in it - probably in the form of a broken heart.

Being a content creator myself, I often get asked questions about my absence on that social platform specifically. I mean, the questions are based and rational I guess, considering I’m not a faceless YouTuber and yet my Instagram account is void of any photos. It’s not like I don’t post at all - I do! I post on my story often but it’s more often than not scenery I find pretty or a poster I’ve made for a movie/video game. Bottom line is: I barely ever allow a picture of me to make it online. The most my fans are ever gonna get of me is a selfie which is also a super rare occurrence because of how long it takes me to take and choose one I don’t hate.

Ok, but how am I supposed to find the motivation to post any sort of picture of myself when on my timeline I’m always faced with people worthy of posting pictures of themselves. People with such perfect bodies and beautiful faces. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous or envious of those people - good for them! They know what they’re working with and they’re working it well. I have nothing against them, in fact, I love seeing people proud of their bodies no matter their size, shape or weight. Those are my role-models: people who are proud of themselves, their bodies, their attributes and capabilities and don’t hesitate to show them off. Those are the people I look up to but, deep down inside I know I’ll never be like.

Insecure about my body, having been referred to as ‘chubby’ and ‘squishy’ all my life. Inappreciative of the stuff I do: starting from my job as a graphic designer leading towards my job on YouTube - nothing I do, professionally or otherwise, satisfies me. Nothing I do is enough in my eyes because I feel incapable of ever being able to do enough. I’ve been called lazy and a half-asser a few too many times to be able to brush it off as a meaningless insult.

With these problems I’ve had with myself and my own perception of who I am and the work I do, I’ve never had the time for romance or romantic relationships. I second-guess the intentions of everyone who ever shows any interest in me because in my mind I’m nothing special and I have nothing to offer - nothing attractive or likable at least. That being said, I haven’t even been one to make heart eyes at others either. I busy myself with my job and some side-gigs, brushing off any relationship questions with the excuse that I’m ‘just too busy to be in a relationship’ which is technically true.

Having spent twenty plus years with that mindset, one can imagine how surprised I was when I found myself catching feelings for someone. And that someone just couldn’t be any other than the biggest YouTube sensation at the moment - Corpse Husband.

I’m close friends with Poki - her and I were roommates at one point too - so her inviting me to play Among Us with them wasn’t so strange. One or two games, I thought, nothing unusual there, just friendly curtesy. I wasn’t expecting to warm up to the group of famous streamers nor did I expect them to welcome me among them so easily, mostly because my channel is so small and practically invisible to the YouTube algorithm. But soon enough, I became a permanent member of the team, making friends with every single one of those YouTubers I practically thought of a celebrities.

This journey of branching out to other content creators has proven itself to be surprisingly pleasant and has packed my book of friendships to the brim. All of that came unexpectedly, along with a wave of new subs and a higher view count. However, as I mentioned, it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. I came to finally understand what my high school friends were talking about when they were head over heels for a boy - the butterflies in the stomach whenever he speaks your name; the importance of the laugh you share with him, how special and different it is; how cool it is to be impostors with him - ok they never said that, obviously, but it’s what I have as a substitute to the ‘when the two of you make eye-contact’ bullshit since Corpse and I have never seen each other in person. That is, of course, because of him being a faceless YouTuber and me being a self-conscious and insecure girl.

We do talk all the time though - texting, calling, chilling on Discord, you name it. Our conversations range from deeply philosophical to ones that might mislead someone into thinking we’re high. There’s no topic we haven’t touched upon and yet we still manage to find something new to talk about. We have plenty of similarities but we also never seem to run out of differences we slowly come across as we keep getting to know each other better and better.

And somewhere along that journey I ended up catching feelings.

Human nature of wanting to connect with other people, I curse you for what you’ve done to me.

You might think I’m being overdramatic about the whole ordeal and that this is just a normal, natural occurrence many people experience in their life - some even daily. Well, not only am I far from used to it, but it’s also taking a toll of a different kind on me.

It’s like a constant slap to the face.

That slap turned into a punch when Corpse and I started following each other on Instagram and I started getting daily reminders of how out of my depth I am with this crush on him. In over my head, especially when you look at all those girls whose pics and videos he reposts on his story. Imagine how that makes me feel, what that does to me - puts me back into the ‘Constantly not good enough‘ basket, the one I’ve been fighting to get out of all my life. In the past and in different contexts I could easily say that it was all just my mind hating me intensely but now - now that I know for a fact I’m not good enough and don’t fit Corpse’s criteria - it hurts ten times as much. I’m not one to do shit for someone’s attention or to attract someone’s eyes, but it really hurts my feelings. Often times, it also leads me to doing dumb things and making rash decisions.

Like the one I made two days ago.

Imagine me cringing and shaking my head at my own stupidity as I admit this: I, in a frenzy, ordered a whole e-girl getup with overnight delivery.

Wait, hold up, it gets worse.

I received it yesterday and spent the whole day regretting that decision, but then, in my most insecure hours - which was somewhere around midnight - I equipped the get-up, took a picture and posted it on my Instagram page. First full body pic I’ve ever posted on there. First pic I’ve posted there of any kind. There to stay, not to be gone in twenty four hours. First pic, and it’s not even of me. It’s of who I want to be in order to fit someone’s criteria. And that fucking stings.

As you might imagine, I’ve spent today’s day regretting that decision as well. Recently my mood’s been nothing but regretting rash decisions that have surfaced under the influence of my ridiculous, constantly-present insecurities. And I would’ve probably gotten over it rather quickly had I not received a message from Corpse that read:

“Didn’t think of you with an e-girl aesthetic“

I didn’t open the message, I peeped at it as it was a notification on my lock screen. It’s still there, an unread notification. It’s been two hours since I received it and I cannot think of a single thing to say in response to that.

Truth is, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of so many things right now.

I’m afraid of becoming that girl in the photo, cause I’m most definitely not her.

I’m afraid of letting Corpse down by admitting I’m not her.

I’m afraid of what my own mind has made me do because it hates me so much and I’m terrified of what it might do in the future.

I’m afraid and stranded on things to do.

You can’t be her forever, you know. Being her won’t make your insecurities go away, it’ll only make them worse. Haven’t you learned that by now?

I sigh, frustrated and irritated with myself as I grab my phone and tap on the notification, finally deciding to face the music and allow my instincts to carry me through the interaction. Improvisation, that’s one of the few things I’m good at. Let’s hope it doesn’t fail me.

I’m just about to type out my response - not sure what it’s gonna say - when I give the message Corpse has sent me a second glance. I furrow my brows, finding there’s more to it than that peep through the notification let me see.

“Didn’t think of you with an e-girl aesthetic. You’re personality is so bright and colorful, I could’ve never imagined you were into the darks and blacks“

Because I’m not

I fail to realize until the message has been sent that my thoughts are exactly what I typed out and sent.

And honestly, I’m glad. It feels like I’ve spoken my truth, like I’ve lifted a huge boulder off my chest.

With that rare confidence in mind I go on and delete the picture.

In its spot, I post a picture I just now took - a mirror selfie in my homey get-up consisting of hot pink sweatpants and an oversized blue tee, my hair in a messy bun, my face free of make-up.

I caption it: ‘Oops, had the e-girl filter on for the last one. This is filterless me tho so...Hi 🥴’

A lot better, I’m surprised to hear my inner voice say. I hope I don’t get used to all this kindness on my brain’s part, probably won’t last, but damn if I don’t milk every second of it.

Just then, I receive a new message from non other than Corpse.

“Now that’s the girl I see when I think of you. She’s super cute 😉“

My, oh my, who would’ve guessed Corpse has a game like that - and by that I mean the ability to make me blush so intensely with only a text message.

Now ain’t that better than being someone else, Y/N?

It sure is, it sure is.

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char-lotta · 3 years

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Forget me not (Part 1/3)

Pairing: Jake x MC

Words: 1,6k

Summary: Forgetting is hard but forgiving is harder.

Warnings: -

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

Forget me not - part one

You looked on the screen without thought in your head. The download bar was moving so slowly, that you couldn’t even pin it to actually move. The quiet humming coming from the countless computers filled the dark room with only you in there. Although, you were used to be alone, since that was the way of living you had performed for years already. You were alone and empty. You wouldn’t describe yourself alive, just plainly existing.

Something interrupted your catatonic state of just being alive and it took you a while to realize what it was. You looked your phone which had dim light with simple text on the screen.

MC: Please, could we just talk? I miss you.

Those blue eyes of yours read the message again and again and something warm sparked inside of you. You quickly diminished it when you found yourself thinking of her, the subject what you had forbidden yourself for weeks now. You swiped the message away from your screen and turned the phone screen down on the table. She would eventually stop.

-_-_-_-_-

Few days later, you received another message. You unlocked your screen and looked those words written by someone, who you didn’t deserve, but still wanted to be with you. God knows why.

MC: Jake, I really need to talk to you.

Something ached in your heart when you closed the message again and you sighed heavily. Why couldn’t she just let go? You had explained to her that this was for her own protection, and the image of her hurt face was burned in your mind. You could almost hear the sobs if you closed your eyes now. She didn’t know that you saw her though, because you were too coward to tell her that straight and instead took care of that by sending a text to her, but you had watched her from afar. How lame of you, but what else could you expect from twisted image of a man as you were.

You couldn’t resist yourself and you opened a CCTV in one of your screens. It showed her at work, in her tiny cubicle, as you knew her working schedule. You promised yourself that just this one time, you would allow yourself to look at her: her long brown curls, the worried face of hers and your favorite part; her neck. Oh, how you missed to be close to her, bury your face in her neck and smell that enchanting scent of lilies in her skin and shampoo on her hair. You couldn’t see it on the blurry CCTV, but she had a small mole just below her ear, where you had drawn circles in your finger when she slept. She was beautiful, as always; those soft lips of hers and you could remember them to whisper you all kinds of sweet words at the morning dusk, when she thought you were asleep. I love you; she had said and all you wanted to do, was embrace her and never let go of her.

But you did.

She was biting her lip again, what she always did when she was nervous. And it was because of you, and you knew it. She looked so fucking sad when she held her phone in her lap, looking at the screen, hoping that you would answer to her. But you couldn’t, and it was completely your own fault. You closed the CCTV and let your mind drift again to that emptiness, what had been your loyal companion always.

-_-_-_-_-_-

You received the next message in the same night, but you weren’t asleep since you never slept. You had only these nightmares what would follow you from dream to dream and sometimes you saw them during the days too.

MC: Don’t you think that I can decide myself what is good for me?

MC: You promised me that you would always be there for me, but there you are; not answering any of my text or calls.

You clenched your fists and saw that she was writing again. No, she was not capable of deciding where she should put herself in danger or not. She let her emotions cloud her judgment, and you had warned her since the beginning of the mission to find Hannah, that there should not be emotions involved because they would just make things harder. She couldn’t see it, but you could. Your pursuers had been on your tails and they were getting closer and closer.

When they had sent you that image, something broke inside of you and you just knew, that this happiness of yours was short-term. You had promised to her that you would always be there, but she forgot the most important promise that you had made to her; you would always protect her. And that was the promise which you were keeping, and you could never forgive yourself if something happened to her. She was dragged in to this involuntary, she hadn’t asked for it. Why should you put your feelings towards her to be more important that her life was?

The message coming from that image that your pursuers had sent you couldn’t be any clearer; it showed her coming out of her apartment door. They knew who she was and where she lived and what she meant to you. In that moment you had realized that she already was in mortal danger and you had put her in this position just simply loving her. It had to be stopped and no one else couldn’t do that for you, so it had to be you. You were going to break her.

MC: I fucking hate you

MC: I loathe you

MC: How can you do this to me?

The texts were coming quickly now, and you could see that she was frustrated and angry. Her words I fucking hate you and I loathe you felt like daggers in your abdomen, but at the same time, you were satisfied. The anger of hers would help her cope losing you and moving on. She deserved someone who could be there for her without putting her at risk, although even the thought of her being with someone else killed you slowly. But this had to be done.

MC: I loved you and I would have given my life for you

MC: And you threw me away like I am garbage

MC: I don’t want to hear from you ever again

Good, you thought, you never will. And with that thought you muted your phone and returned to your computer.

-_-_-_-_--

It had been two months now from the last message of hers and four since you had last met. You could see the sun getting up between the curtains and you switched your screen to her workplace’s system, just for the check up on her, as you did every morning. You searched her name in the list of employees logged on, but you couldn’t find her. You frowned and checked again, but she wasn’t there. With a few buttons you had opened the CCTV and looked at her cubicle, but it was empty.

Where was she?

The cubicle looked plain, and you realized that her plants and pictures were missing too. Personally, you didn’t understand of the concept of having all kind of distracting things on your desk, but considering that she always bought a new plant for substitute of what she had involuntary killed, she seemed to love them. Confused, you rewind the security tape to last day and stopped when she was shown on the tape and looked closely. She had a box with her, and she was picking up all her personal things from her desk and when she was done, she left. You followed her via the cameras of the elevator.

Maybe she got promotion and had gotten herself a new room?

But no, she went with her stuff to the elevator and took the trip down and left the building.

“What the fuck” you muttered and switched to her apartment’s hallway camera. You zoomed in her apartments door and saw that there was apparently a small family moving in. There was no sight of her in the video and her apartment seemed empty. You felt your heartbeat rising and your palms turned sweaty. You tried to log on her phone and use the GPS to track her, but she had turned her phone off.

“FUCK!” you yelled and threw the coffee mug you had, into the wall. Where had she gone?

You logged on her social medias, but she had updated those months ago, so they weren’t helpful. You had promised to her that you wouldn’t read her messages, but she didn’t leave you a choice, you had to know where she was. You saw that she had discussed with her friends, but the topics were daily stuff and chit chat.

You opened up her emails, but they weren’t important, containing only work-related mails and some recommendations from HBO, which suggested that she needed to re-watch Game of Thrones sixtieth time this year. She knew that you would investigate those while looking for you and she was doing her best on covering her tracks.

Few flying coffee cups later and you were shouting from frustration. You breathed heavily and stared the monitors. You had taught her well, but that was the point, you had taught her. You had told her that when she was booking any tickets or making any travel plans, she wasn’t supposed to use her own email as a verification, but spam email you had created to her, which servers were located some tiny island on the Caribbean Sea. You typed the address on your browser, and there it was, ticket confirmation mail.

Thank you for booking your trip to Duskwood from us!

Here are some tips for your journey –

You tried to read the message, but your brains didn’t oblige with you and you just kept looking those letters what didn’t make any sense. No fucking way…

Why was she going to Duskwood?

#duskwood jake x mc #duskwood jake #duskwood #everbyte duskwood #jake x mc #jake x player #jake x reader #duskwood fanfiction

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takerfoxx · 3 years

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In response to JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, my (former) idols

I really didn’t want to have to do this.

So in addition to…=gestures vaguely=…all of that, the last few months have been kind of sucky when it comes to learning some really unpleasant things about artists that I looked up to, admired, and was in fact inspired by. I’ve already spoken about the Speaking Out movement revealing a lot of ugly behavior from various wrestlers, some of which I was big fans of, and then later we got Chris Jericho being a full-on MAGA. Yeah, that all sucked. But those were just performers whose work I enjoyed watching. The one that really hurt were writers who I deeply admired, whose stories I love, and who I was heavily influenced by.

The first, of course, was finding out that JK Rowling, the author of perhaps the single biggest YA fantasy series of all time Harry Potter, is a TERF. This really sucked for a number of reasons. Firstly, I really like Harry Potter! I mean, I’m not a super fan or anything. I came into it when things were kind of dying down, like the whole book series had already been released and there were only a few movies left, but I still really enjoyed it, have all the books and movies and a fair amount of merchandise swag, including a nifty wand I got at Universal Studios. Shit, I got two replicas of the Sword of Griffyindor, thanks to them screwing up my order in my favor and sending me a duplicate! They’re on my wall right across from me as I type this!

But in addition to writing a book series I really liked, JK Rowling was supposed to be one the good guys. She’s been vocally progressive, often openly comes down on British right-wing nonsense, has supported various persecuted minorities, and is on record as being one of the few self-made billionaires to actually stop being a billionaire for a time because she donated so much money to charity. And while we mock it now, her revealing Dumbledore as gay was a huge deal at the time. Plus, she cultivated this reputation as Auntie Jo, that cool, supportive aunt we all wanted.

But for a while her stock has been dropping. Her preference for confirming “representation” via tweets instead of explicitly putting it in the text of her stories has raised the question of queer-baiting, especially with a whole-ass movie with a young Dumbledore and Grindelwald to make their relationship explicit but failing to do so. The whole Nagini thing from the latest Fantastic Beasts movie was pretty gross. And re-examination of various problematic elements from the original novels has rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. Now, none of these really looked to be intentionally malicious, of course. Just about everyone’s early work will have problematic elements; that’s just how people work. And the later stuff smacked more of ignorance than anything. But after all this time, it’s like, c’mon. You should know better by now.

But the biggie came when her transphobic views finally came to light. Now, this one had been brewing for a while, due to some questionable likes and statements on her twitter. But then she decided to just go public and published what essentially amounts to a TERF manifesto, one with a very “love the sinner, hate the sin” condescending attitude and had a real persecution complex air to it.

Now, I’m not going to go into detail about what the manifesto was about, what the circumstances surrounding it were, or how wrong it was. It’s already been raked over the coals, dissected, answered, and debunked in detail by people far more qualified than me, so odds are, you’re already well aware of its contents and the subsequent rebuttals. But the gist of it comes down to her basically believing that transwomen are actually cis men claiming to be trans so as to infiltrate and invade female-only spaces.

Yeah.

Okay, that’s gross, but…why? Why is someone so noted for being progressive and wanting to foster an inclusive environment making this the hill of exclusion that she wants to die on?

Well, that’s where things get tricky. She mentions that prior to Harry Potter, her first marriage was highly physically and sexually abusive, and when she escaped from that, she had no place to go, leading her to be homeless for a time.

Oh.

Well, that makes sense. Someone goes through a highly traumatic experience with a member of the opposite sex, has no support structure when she escapes it, is left to fend for herself, only to suddenly get rocketed into fame, fortune, and influence, which in turn leads to a Never Again mentality. She was hurt, no one was there to help her, and now she’s afraid of men invading women-only spaces to victimize others like she was victimized. So…literally transphobic. Literally a Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist.

Guys, this is so fucked up. Like, how do you even approach something like this? She’s a victim in every sense of the word, so of course she’s going to have physiological damage and a warped view of things. I mean, if I found out that a close friend of mine went through the same thing and had the same prejudices, I would be nothing but sympathetic! I mean, I’d still do what I can to convince her to overcome those prejudices, but I’d still show sympathy and support for what she went through.

Abuse warps people. There’s a reason why so many abusers are abuse survivors themselves. It makes you terrified of being hurt again and often causes people to adopt toxic behaviors, beliefs, and reactions to protect themselves. I’ve already talked about it at length while discussing She-Ra and its own handling of the cycle of abuse, which included franks discussions of Catra’s horrible behavior, why she was the way she was, while never losing sympathy for her and rooting for her to overcome it. So if JK Rowling is an abuse survivor, is it really right to come down on her for having warped views because of that abuse?

But that’s the problem. See, she isn’t your troubled friend that you’re trying to help. She isn’t your cousin Leslie who’s a really sweet person but unfortunately adopted some bad ideals due to trauma suffered. She JK freakin’ ROWLING, one of the most famous, wealthy, and influential women in the world. She has a platform of millions, if not billions, which means her voice lends credibility to her bigoted beliefs. Alt-righters and other TERFs have already swooped upon this for giving validation to their awful beliefs, which puts trans people even more at risk. And as horrible as Rowling’s experiences might have been, the trans community is often the victim of far worse, and they don’t have a mountain of money and an army of defenders to protect them like she does. I’ve said it time and time again: just because you’re a victim, that doesn’t give you the right to victimize others! And bringing things back to Catra, as much as I loved her redemption in the final season, she was still a TERRIBLE PERSON for a huge chunk of the show, one that needed to be stood up to and stopped.

So yeah. That’s the messiness that is JK Rowling.

Now, let’s talk about the one that really hurts. Let’s talk about Joss Whedon.

I’ve made no secret of what a huge Whedon fan I am. Unlike Rowling, I was a HUUUUUGE superfan. Seeing Serenity for the first time in theaters was akin to a religious awakening to me as a storyteller, making it one of my top three movies of all time. Firefly is my favorite show ever. And I adored Buffy, Angel, and Dollhouse as well. I love Cabin in the Woods and The Avengers. The very first fanfic I ever wrote was a Firefly fanfic that disappeared along with my old laptop. I know his style isn’t for everyone, but I cannot understate how much of a personal inspiration he is to me as a writer.

And like Rowling, Joss was supposed to be one of the good guys! Buffy was monumental in pushing the needle when it came to female empowerment. Will and Tara were groundbreaking as a gay couple. He’s been outspoken for years about his feminist views and beliefs and was seen as one of the most prominent and influential feminist voices in Hollywood!

And then things started to go bad.

One day he was on top of the world, the mastermind behind the first two Avenger movies. And the next, it seemed like he was in freefall. It’s hard to really pinpoint exactly when the change took place. Some would say him being brought in as a last-minute substitute for Zack Snyder to take over on Justice League after Snyder had to leave due to family tragedy, and the subsequent awful critical reception to that film tarnishing his image, even if those were very unique circumstances that couldn’t really be blamed on him. Others might point to Age of Ultron’s less than stellar reception, as well as criticism of some questionable jokes and certain creative decisions regarding the character of Black Widow, which then led to a more critical examination of how Whedon continues to write female characters, as while his work might have been revolutionary in the 90’s, his failure to evolve with the times had meant that many of his portrayals are now woefully outdated and problematic, with his vision for a Batgirl movie getting hit with a lot of backlash as a result.

Again, I’m not going to go into too much detail, as this is all public knowledge and can be easily looked up, but overall it seemed that Whedon entered into a period where he was getting criticized more than he was celebrated, and his image of a guaranteed hit maker was now in doubt.

But all of this wasn’t the big problem. All creators go through rises and slumps, and everyone hits points where they get hit with a barrage of criticism; that’s just part of being a public creative figure, especially a progressive one. And had nothing happened after, it would have probably faded, got forgotten, and Whedon would have moved onto the next project with no fuss.

But as it turned out, it wasn’t just a minor slump in his career. Instead, it was the priming of the pump.

In 2016, Whedon divorced his wife of sixteen years, Kai Cole, and in an open letter, Kai Cole accused him of being a serial cheater, who would have affairs with a great many women, from co-workers, to actresses, to friends, to even his fans. And in addition to raising questions of him possibly abusing his position as showrunner to elicit sex from those working on his projects, there also is the ugly question of how could someone who speaks so highly of women then go and backstab the person who was supposed to be the most important woman in his life, as well as lying to her and denying her the autonomy of deciding whether or not she even wanted to continue to have a relationship with him?

Furthermore, Whedon himself has not explicitly denied these accusations, and comments made by him seem only to confirm them.

Now if you’ll recall, I reacted publicly to this news, and despite my admiration of Whedon’s work, I came down on Kai Cole’s side, and stated that while things like marriage issues and infidelity were no one’s business but that of the couple’s, it did raise a lot of uncomfortable questions about how Whedon treated the women in his life and he really needed to get his shit in order.

But hey, a messy private life and a guy falling into temptation isn’t that big of a deal, right? Plenty of creators also go through multiple marriages and have problems staying faithful and still continue making great art. We’re all human, it’s a stressful job, and this shit just happens, right? Sure, it’s gross and a shitty thing to do, but ain’t no business of ours, right?

In late 2020, actor Ray Fisher, who played the role of Cyborg in Justice League, openly accused Joss Whedon of fostering a hostile work environment, claiming that the director’s behavior was abusive and unprofessional, and that Whedon in turn was protected by DC executives.

DC and Warner Bros. came down against Fisher, claiming they had done an internal investigation that turned up no evidence of wrongdoing (yeah, sure they did), and soon Fisher was out as Cyborg, apparently for rocking the boat.

But then Charisma Carpenter, noted for her important role as Cordelia Chase in both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, then spoke up, claiming to be inspired by Fisher in doing so. She described Whedon did indeed foster a hostile work environment on his projects, that his often acted in a toxic manner, from asking incredibly invasive and inappropriate questions regarding her pregnancy to insulting her on set. She said that she made excuses for him for years, but after undergoing a lot of therapy and reading what Ray Fisher had to say, she felt compelled to speak out.

And this just open the floodgates. Other actors and actresses also came forward, some with stories of their own, others to offer support. Even Buffy herself, Sarah Michelle Gellar, confirmed Carpenter’s stories and said that she no longer wanted to be associated with Whedon. Michelle Trachtenberg, who played the character of Dawn, stated that she also experienced toxic treatment from Whedon despite her being a minor at the time, and says that the set had a rule that Whedon wasn’t allowed to be alone with her again, which really raises some sickening questions of what happened the first time. Even male stars have spoken out, from words of support and apologies for not speaking up earlier from Anthony Stewart Head and David Boreanaz, to an earlier interview with James Marsters, in which he described being terrified of Whedon, mainly due to an instance when Whedon was frustrated with the popularity of Marsters’s character of Spike messing with his plans and physically and verbally taking it out on the actor. There have been many corroborating stories of Whedon being casually cruel on set, on seemingly taking delight in making his fellow show writers cry, and even the man himself admitting to enjoying fostering a hostile work environment during his director commentary of the Avengers. We’ve joked about Whedon’s supposed sadism for years, but that was in regards to how he treated the characters in his stories, not the people helping him make them!

So yeah. That’s the problem with Joss Whedon.

So, do I think that Joss Whedon is somehow some kind of sociopath who lied about his feminist principles and deliberately put on a progressive façade specifically to get into a position of power so he could torment people? No, of course not. I think he was sincere about his beliefs, and I do think he didn’t realize the wrongness of his behavior. But that’s kind of the problem. See, it’s one thing to have kind of a trollishness to your nature, a sort of sadistic side. No one can help that. But when someone with that quality gets put into a position of power in which they are protected by both the higher-ups and their legions of fans, they are allowed to mistreat and continue to mistreat people. And by never suffering any consequences, that sort of toxic behavior becomes internalized, becomes a habit, becomes their moda operandi. And when you’re constantly getting praised as a creative genius and a wonderful feminist voice, any self-criticism just gets wiped away, and you think yourself above reproach, leading to what Joss Whedon became and went on being.

And you know what scares me the most about this particular issue? It’s not that I am a fan of his stories. It’s that I can so easily see myself turning out the same way.

Look, I’ll be upfront about it: I’m kind of a sadist myself. You’ve seen it in my stories, you’ve seen me gloating after a particularly dark plot twist makes my readers freak out. That sort of stuff is fun to me. There’s a reason why I have a much easier time in the dark and violent scenes, because I’m channeling something ugly within me. We all have a dark side, and this is mine.

But UNLIKE Whedon, that doesn’t carry over to how I treat people in real life (unless Monopoly or Mario Party are involved, then it’s fair game). Maybe it’s because I wasn’t given the sort of power and praise he did so early, and I was always taught to be considerate of other people’s feelings, but if I ever find out that I hurt another person or went too fair, I feel TERRIBLE, and it just throws me off all day until I apologize. Even if I don’t notice right away that what I said or did wasn’t cool (autistic, remember?), when it’s pointed out to me and I have some time to think on it, yeah, the guilt is on and I make a point to apologize to whoever I’ve hurt. I’ve even made a point to apologize to members of my family for inconsiderate stuff I said years ago as a little punk kid because it wouldn’t stop bugging me.

So maybe Whedon got too big, too fast. Maybe putting people on these sorts of pedestals, especially progressive ones, is ultimately a bad thing.

So where does this leave us? How are we to treat JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, one who developed a lot of transphobia due to abuse suffered while the other became a toxic individual due to unchecked control and a lack of consequences? Can we still enjoy their stories despite them now being colored by their creators’ falls from grace? Can we separate the art from the artist, or do we have to do a clean split?

Honestly, I feel that has to come down to the individual. I can’t remove the influence Rowling and Whedon have had on me as a storyteller, and I still highly respect both of their talents despite taking major issue with their problems as people. And I’m not going go throw away all of my Harry Potter or Firefly stuff. Because that’s my stuff. It has value to me, it doesn’t represent the issues with their creators, and a lot of it was gifts from people who are dear to me. Though I do think it’ll be a long time before I return to either of their work, as I just don’t have the stomach for it now.

But I will be avoiding any projects they have in the future. I don’t want to put money in their pockets that might go on to support their toxic beliefs or behavior. And as for royalties for their past work that would also support the cast and crew of the Harry Potter films or those who worked on Whedon’s shows who do not deserve to lose money because we don’t want any of that money going to the creators? Er, that question is a little above my paygrade. I don’t know. You’ll have to all decide for yourselves. As for me, I still have a lot of thinking to do.

Regardless though, if I or anyone else is still able to enjoy their work, then it’s important to not divorce what these people said or did from the art they created, even if it makes enjoying that art less fun. It’s important to be critical about what we enjoy, to acknowledge the bad aspects along with the good, and open up discussion of those elements, because that’s what mature adults are supposed to do.

And as for JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, whose stories I love, whose talent I admire, and whose past good work I’ll happily acknowledge, I do hope they both experience some sort of realization and enter into a period of self-examination that leads to them getting help for their issues, for Rowling to get help in coming to terms with her trauma and realizing that she’s wrong about the trans community and a full apology, and for Whedon to also come to terms with his toxic behavior and how he treats people, for him to make no excuse for what he did and sincerely apologize to those he hurt and work on bettering himself, as well as them both examining some of the more problematic tropes still present in their works. Because despite everything, I do feel that they can still be a creative force of good, and it would be a shame if they let themselves self-destruct.

But if not, then if it comes down to choosing between Rowling and the protecting the trans community, if it comes down between choosing between letting Whedon continue to make shows and protecting actors and writers from his abusive behavior, then I know who I’m siding with, and it ain’t the two individuals this whole essay is about. No story, no matter how good, no matter how creative, is worth letting sacrificing vulnerable people in order for it to be made.

#jk rowling #joss whedon #harry potter #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #angel #firefly #justice league #ray fisher #charisma carpenter #kai cole #transphobia tw #abuse tw #toxicity tw #TERF tw #rant #TERFs don't interact I do not want to talk to you #same for abuse apologists

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curserp · 4 years

Photo

first of all, i just want to say i loved seeing all the thoughts and theories that were going on around all of this !!! honestly, i think some of you guys gave me too much credit, because most of this is a lot simpler than the intricate stuff you came up with--- i wish i had thought of some of the things you all did ! but for now, finally, here’s ( most of ) the clues i purposefully placed, as well as some general info, which i’ve tried to break up into sections for ease of reading.

SKELETONS / NUMBERS :

the skeletons are listed below with their id numbers ( the tags are linked as well ) :

andromeda : #0237632.

arachne : #0272463.

cassandra : #0276372.

daedalus : #0323357.

helen : #0043536.

heracles : #0472537.

jason : #0052766.

medea : #0063332.

midas : #0064327.

narcissus : #0672787.

orion : #0067466.

pandora : #0726372.

paris : #0072747.

perseus : #0777387.

each of the id numbers were decided by entering the skeleton names onto the dial pad of a phone--- abc = 2, def = e, ghi = 4, jkl = 5, mno = 6, pqrs = 7, tuv = 8, wyz = 9.

phones in general were hinted at a few times.

in asks, as i tried to use the word ‘call’ repeatedly when asked about it, ‘key’ once, as well as the word ‘phony’ at one point. get it ? phone-y ? that one was kind of a stretch, i know.

a phone prominently featured in a branch on the classification quiz.

the encoded text messages were, obviously, sent from a phone.

on an update before dropping stage 3, a strange voicemail was mentioned and you were encouraged to delete it from your phone.

the database speaks to you over the phone during curse finalization.

on the graphic for stage 3, a phone is the only object in the hallway.

some names did need to be shortened in order to fit all the same number of digits, so andromeda became adrmda, pandora became pandra, etc.

honestly, this code was weirder and more random than most of the other things, so i’d call it bonus points more than anything else. a lot of you puzzled out who was who without knowing what the numbers meant.

CURSE REGISTRATION / STAGE I ( here ) :

i asked you all to send in these results to the curse database, and used those totals to decide the order in which the skeletons would be released ; midas ended up with the most results so they’re posted first, cassandra got the least so they’re last, etc.

results from all three stages will also factor in to some future plot drops, though i’ll keep those quiet for now.

TEXT POSTS :

these are pretty straightforward ; i chose text that i thought suits each skeleton as i’ve written them, and tagged them with their respective curse ids to tease the fact that there were ids at all.

FOLDERS PAGE ( here ) :

this displays not only the skeletons’ classifications, but also their active danger levels ; one exclamation point for low, two for medium, three for high.

while the classifications were shown as only numbers 001-007 at that point, since the curse classification blog hadn’t dropped yet, in this ask a few posts previous i wrote the types as the first word of each corresponding number on the list.

CURSE CLASSIFICATION / STAGE II ( here ) :

when you reach a result on the curse classifications, the clock at the top of the screen stops and displays a single time. that number corresponds to the number on the files image. when you get an error it shows only zeroes.

the classifications are :

chaos ( pandora, paris )

death ( arachne )

hero ( heracles, jason, perseus )

infamy ( cassandra, midas )

loss ( daedalus, medea )

love ( helen, narcissus, orion )

monster ( andromeda )

yes, those are alphabetical. when i was making the folders page i just kinda said fuck it.

i took the hands off the clock on the image in the post, both because i wanted to draw attention to the clocks on the actual pages, and cause it looked sick.

if you get to page /c6, the clock stops and zeroes out. that’s because there’s no way to get anything but an error after that point.

i asked you all to send in these results to the curse database, too, and they were used as tiebreakers for the skeleton posting order. like, medea and pandora ended up with the same amount of results from registration, but there were more loss results than chaos from classification, so medea goes first.

TEXT MESSAGES ( here, here, here, here, here, here, and here ) :

the encryption on the text messages is caesar cipher, where you shift the alphabet a certain number of letters over and substitute those letters for each other. for example, an alphabet with a shift of 1 would have a become b, b become c, and so on. the shift changes for each text message, depending on what the character’s curse classification is. so the text from narcissus ( #0672787, classification of 6. love ) has a shift of 6.

the decoded texts are :

#0063332. ( medea, shift 5 ) : you made your choice. now i am making mine.

#0672787. ( narcissus, shift 6 ) : at least you’ll be hung in the stars. i’ll only be remembered like a cautionary tale.

#0072747. ( paris, shift 1 ) : don’t blame me, please. i am not the villain.

#0272463. ( arachne, shift 2 ) : did you make this for yourself, too ?

#0472537. ( heracles, shift 3 ) : wasn’t my strength meant to earn me a better reward than this ?

#0237632. ( andromeda, shift 7 ) : you cannot be a hero all the time. what if my monster wins ?

#0064327. ( midas, shift 4 ) : i could have known better, at least. nothing this gold could come without consequence.

i also wanted to use this to kind of further their feeling of being watched ---which i hope i started to get across just in some answers to anons ---with the messages between skeletons be ‘intercepted’ by the database.

CURSE FINALIZATION / STAGE III ( here ) :

before dropping this stage, a ‘data breach’ was mentioned twice in separate posts. this was to ( hopefully ) encourage people to look for hidden information--- aka, the data that was breached.

there are five total hidden pages on this stage, and one secret extra message.

first is another intercepted message from one of the skeletons. the link is here.

on page /b2, click the word ‘key’ to get here.

the text message is from #0276372, aka cassandra, who is prophetic. cassandra is the only skeleton with anything set about their curse, and their prophecies will be a part of gameplay.

the url for this page is 0677437, and if you use the same keypad method as the numbers for the skeletons, that translates to ‘mssges.’

second is a chart monitoring active danger levels. the link is here.

on page /b3, the clock has stopped at 00:00:14, for the 14 skeletons. if you wait those 14 seconds, you will automatically be redirected.

the url for this page is 0003282, or ‘data.’

the third is a contact log between the database and a god. the link is here.

on page /c2, a ‘source’ is mentioned. if you view the source code of the page, the first thing at the top is the url.

the clock on this page has stopped at 02:09:01, and the connection was lost at that same time ; if you substitute letters in for numbers, 291 spells ‘bia’, the goddess of violence, who the communication was with.

the url for this page is 0005647, or ‘logs.’

the fourth is an incident report from a monster attack. the link is here.

on page /c7, ‘time’ is mentioned repeatedly. click on the clock to get here.

the incident report is 8-1-18-16-25, which, with a substitution between numbers and letters, translates out to ‘harpy,’ the type of creature from the attack.

the url for this page is 0737678, or ‘report.’

the fifth is the list of id numbers and their skeletons. the link is here.

on this ask, i asked ( yes, i sent this one to myself ) about the numbers, and responded ‘why haven’t you searched.’ put /numbers directly after the url of curse finalization to get here.

if you highlight above the ‘submitting’ text on the /finalize page, you can find a message : ‘you’re not safe here.’

the codes you all reached are going to remain kind of a mystery for now. there is a solution for it, if you’re really interested in puzzling it out, but i’m not going to list the answer here. they’ve helped me decide the first plot drop of the group. this is somewhat of a teaser for how the gameplay will go here ; the curse database will remain an active player, and you’ll often be helping choose events. you just might not always when you’re doing it, or how.

easter eggs / fun facts, i guess !

when you get an error in curse registration or classification, if you hover your mouse over the word ‘error,’ it shakes like a glitch. this serves no purpose and means nothing, it just took me a while to figure out how to code, so i wanted to point it out. just let me have this

i actually had a very different stage three planned when i dropped stage two, one incorporating the results from registration and classification more, but the classification results i got were totally different than what i’d expected. while the registration results were pretty varied, over half of the 40-something answers i got from your classifications were for ‘love,’ and i actually got only one ‘monster’ and zero ‘death’ results from you guys. which i suppose is fitting, since there’s only one skeleton of each ! but still, it threw things off a bit, and i had to pretty thoroughly rework stage three. besides, i ended up with like 100+ results from both stages, and i got kind of overwhelmed with my original idea. you all kept me on my toes !!

i sent two asks to myself : the one i needed to set up so i could list out the curse classifications, the one to drop a hint about the /numbers page. the rest all came from you guys ! and for that i am hugely grateful--- i had sort of escape plans the entire time if there wasn’t enough interest, where i’d be able to drop the main after stage one or two and skirt around the extras, but i’m so glad i got to follow through on this thing to the end. i wouldn’t have been able to do it without your engagement. every single time i get a little inbox notification i get excited.

i noticed some of you were getting a lot of error results, but that’s not on you ! there were 32 possible results on curse registration with 16 of those being errors, and 15 results on curse classification with 8 of those being errors. so don’t worry, you were more likely on those stages to get an error than a result.

some of you wondered if the general urls ( /a1, /b2, etc. ) of the different pages on the registration, classification and finalization blogs meant something, and i’m sorry to say they don’t. originally i was going to customize them so they’d be harder to just sift through later, but there ended up being 130+ total pages between all three blogs--- and for my own sanity, and for the sake of easier organization when editing them, i just left them as they were with their letters and numbers.

someone asked me if this post was for cassandra since the quote involves cassandra in the source material agamemnon. whoops. it’s not, that post is actually just a nod to the fact that i don’t know how to read.

i think that’s just about everything ! there are all kinds of other small things as nods to skeletons, the plot, the database in general, future plot drops, all scattered throughout answers on the curse database--- and i’ll be here all day if i list them all. if you have any specific questions about anything i would love to answer them, so please feel free to shoot them my way ! i believe that’s the gist of it, though. thanks so much again for going along with me on all of this !!

#curseadmin #cursetalk #this is so long i'm sorry #but i think i covered everything !!!!

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kenobion · 4 years

Photo

@s-k-y-w-a-l-k-e-r tagged me in this gif meme thank you! These gifs don’t show quite as much difference as some of the other gif memes I’ve seen but I try to avoid any super dark footage. 😅I have a gif tutorial here if anyone wants to check out the steps below in detail.

Acquiring footage

I always screen record footage I use, regardless of where it came from, because Photoshop (in my instance) plays nice with Quicktime videos, but not necessarily with other file types. Screen recording is easier to me than downloading files, so I use Quicktime to record whatever I want to gif, then trim it down to the essentials or (if it’s a long recording) splice it in sections for ease of use. I then save it and open up the video file in Photoshop.

From there I use an action I made to process the video to do all the work of flattening frames into layers, changing frame speed, creating the timeline, etc. In the end this process spits out a ready to use set of frames at 0.04 speed, resized to 540px width by default. I usually do full width gifs so that’s all there is to that.

Coloring

My coloring process is not super involved - it’s really only four steps. These are all done using adjustment layers above all of the layers in the document. I don’t use any .psds, so this is done manually for each gif. If gifs are from the same scene or set I will generally copy the same adjustment layers over, then simply tweak them if needed.

First, curves. This is essential to making the image pop. Usually images are too dark, so simply pulling the curve line in a gentle arch to the left does it (see the tutorial linked above for visuals). Images that need deeper blacks can have the lower left value adjusted, while ones that need brighter whites can have the upper left value adjusted. There are some default options too but I always adjust manually for each gif. There are little guides that show up when you drag the curve - if you use these to make a little square shape between where you drag the guides to and the sort of x and y axis on the curve view background, the effect tends to brighten the image without blowing out any values.

Second, vibrance. I dunno if other people do this, but I find that it makes the colors look more appealing without giving the fakey look that increasing saturation does. I always bump vibrance up by +14, which is an arbitrary number but it’s the one that I like. Vibrance adds a subtle something to the look of the gif that there isn’t a substitute for.

Third, color balance. This is where the fun begins (insert Anakin gif here). Color balance is what makes the gif look truly different from the original material. When I do this adjustment, I always start with the shadows, then do the highlights, then the midtones. After that initial coloring is done, if I’m not happy with the look I tweak each value a little, going higher or lower on it until I find the point where I’m happy with it. This part is really all up to your eyes/color perception. I generally aim for something realistic, without blatant color casts, but I try to give it some tonality that suits the material.

For instance, the first colored gif above has a summery sunshine feel, while the last one is more chocolatey and warm. I usually deepen shadows (often with blues and magentas) and lighten highlights (with cyans and greens/yellows depending) and then the midtones I adjust to generally make the image look “right”. This means no color cast on white in the image, and a person’s skintone should look normal for them (within reason, lighting can change appearance but they shouldn’t look like they are not themselves). If there is ever an overly strong color cast on an image, I will sometimes add a plain fill layer of that color and set it to subtract and tweak the opacity until it appears to be eliminated.

Last, contrast/brightness. This is the finishing step of coloring. While curves do handle most of the light/dark balance adjustments, sometimes a little extra pop of brightness is needed. Doing that can make the image start to get washed out sometimes, however, so I always tweak the contrast to suit as well. The image should look believable to your eyes as a real scene, so if it gets too lightened it will lose that realism. Also brightening too much can lead to lots of little gross pixely effects.

Sharpening

This is the final step before adding any text or watermarks. Once I have the adjustment layers done for the coloring, I chop down the gif to a suitable length (if it isn’t already), which tends to be around 50-70 frames depending on how much contrast, color variation, and movement are present in the material. I convert to timeline, delete any unused layers, then merge the rest of the gif frame layers into a smart object. I then applying smart sharpening to this, at the usual 0.3 radius, 500%, and remove Gaussian blur settings, with the more accurate box checked. This always does the job, to my mind, then all that’s left is saving. Adding text (if needed) and the watermark is something I also do. But it’s not too exciting. When I do put text on an image I give it a 2px border so it’s easy to read, and my watermark is usually white with a lowered opacity.

Saving

When I save gifs I always use the Save for Web & Devices option. I then use a save setting I created, which is actually a ditherless gif. I think I created it based off of a default ditherless gif setting - having no dither is convenient because it results in a smaller file size than say having 100% dither. I always make sure the gif will be under 3mb when saved, since I don’t care for tumblr’s built-in compression, then I make sure to select loop forever, then save and viola! All done.

That’s all there is to it, really. I’ve done some more complicated stuff like combining gifs together or making “3D” gifs but those are a more complicated process and I have to keep some secrets. 😉 Overall if you use good quality footage, adjust brightness with curves, remove obvious color cast, and apply some smart sharpening, you’ll already be on track to making something great.

I would tag somebody but everyone I can think of to tag has already done this/been tagged already!

#tagging games #gif meme #gif making #random

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beardedeldridge · 5 years

Text

My Experiences

Most materially/financially successful working to-date as I agreed to post from an earlier ask. (I chose this one due to the chain of results, recent time frame, less personal than some other workings tbh).

*NOTES

~Typed up quickly on my phone but done is better than perfect I guess.

~Tech - DSIC; pieces of several grims; some 7S (serviceable for starter but you can do better); posts from magicans on here (thedeedwithaname, coyote-696, jak, aur-ochs, etc); meditation heavy; took some habits from saint workings of others but applied to planetary angels; my own experiences from other systems, chrono app for times, correspondences from multiple sources, others do better write-ups for tech so read theirs and then read the actual grimoires.

~Leaving out a lot of details (away from journals at the moment) but here are the more important highlights.

*HIGHLIGHTS

So this started back about 5 months ago (and runs up to the present) when I posted one of my experiences using coyote-696 planetary talisman method. You can do a search under the tag @my experiences for more detail on that particular one. But essentially I created a talisman with the 2nd pentacle of Jupiter: to pass a ridiculous test, promotion at work, and general success overall.

The next day after that working I received a significant portion of the test bank with additional help to come later.

Given those results I doubled down on my planetary work (especially Jupiter) since then. And that talisman has become a regular part of my practice.

—-

Soon after, wife found the house (house #1) she wanted but we needed a couple of months before we’d be ready to put in an offer. I made a petition to Sachiel, reached an agreement to ensure that the house would still be available when we got ready to buy in a couple of months. Two days later it was listed as being in the process of selling. I was pissed.

—-

Next ritual with Sachiel. I spent a week preparing - fasted/abstained/meditations/smaller daily rituals/research/etc...

Leaving out most of the details but basically received some general instructions to tweak my planetary rituals, was told that there was another house for us (now really pissed - that wasn’t the freaking agreement) I ended up losing consciousness.

I was then startled awake during the next Jupiter hour (3:00am-ish) by an audible voice. So I started the ritual again, implementing the suggestions (still pissed but anger was replaced with a little more WTF awe). Anyway lot of stuff happened during the second go at it.

Highlights from 2nd part - lost time (way late to work), intense visions, and I received two images (for the rest of this post let’s call them 1 & 2). Finished the ritual but was feeling the effects of that working for a few days.

Couple of days later I was reading a grimoire and found image 1. After that image was a ritual laid out that helped flesh out the general instructions I had received on how to change my current methods. I used that as a basis on how to rework my planetary evocations.

—-

At this point I took and passed the test with only 1.5 weeks of lite studying while others average 2 intense months (and a lot of people still fail). So given the results I continued my daily/weekly rituals/offerings.

I received a promotion with a 22% raise - but honestly not unexpected given the outcome of the test. But I did receive it faster and came out ahead of my colleagues reputation wise.

—-

One of my ritual tools broke into the shape of image 1. (If you read my other posts that is now two tools that have been broken since I started working with Sachiel) But this one is still being used in its new condition.

Two higher ups, who are from the division I want to get into, approached me on a Thursday. Told me that they have a particular position opening up in 1-2 years (longer time frame actually works best for me for several reasons) and want to higher me. They then gave me a list of things that I need to add to my resume before that point. That promotion would increase my pay by another 80%. And since then assignments that provide the required experience have been flooding in.

—-

House #1 went back on the market (sale had apparently fallen thru) the week that we decided we were ready to buy (fulfilling the original agreement). But the same week another house that she liked even more was listed for sale (fulfilling the answer I received in the later ritual). During the next day’s ritual I asked if house #2 would work out better for us. And was basically told that I had already received enough signs.

Went to go view house #2. Etched on the front door as part of the design was image #1. Ok I was intrigued, while my wife was falling in love with the house, I ended up in the back yard where I found an item (image #2). Both items are fairly uncommon and very unlikely to both be found at the house. We ended up buying the house for below asking.

—-

TAKEAWAYS:

**I did everything I could to the letter, things I couldn’t do I found/used the best substitute I could, and to make up for the short comings I went over the top with extras (communion, regular offerings, daily meditation, etc). My advise when starting a new system, follow the prescribed ritual as closely as possible, substitute where you have too, improve as you go, but generally going bigger is better until you can refine the process from experience.

***Start incorporating regular divination. Solid results but stop doing this shit half blind dumbass! #personal

****Results require work and loss of sleep.

*****Give magick avenues to work through. Don’t expect it to do everything. Magick is a force but it can do so much more, with less, if provided with the proper lever/fulcrum. Would you rather it be able to move pebbles or boulders?

******I attempted to do a read more thing from my phone. Sorry if it’s a wall of text :)

*******Guess I’ll be sticking with to see this through

#my experiences #asks #dsic #planetary magick #ceremonial magick #magick

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anarkhebringer · 5 years

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I have an idea here...

Okay, so hear me out. It’s that kind of AU type thing that you see once in a blue moon where Snake is the nerd and Otacon is the one doing all the fighting, but I want to make a legit full on AU from it, not just character designs. I have a lot prepared as a base to build from already and I’ll be putting quite a bit here.

I don’t have a creative name for it, so I’ll just call it the Swap AU unless I think of a better name in the future. I’ll be addressing the Swap AU inhabitants with ‘Swap!’ before their names, and canon as just their names with no extras attached.

There’s a catch to this version of the Swap AU though. See, Swap!Otacon actually used to be behind the computer, and Swap!Snake used to do the fighting, just like normal. But, their own little situations led them to be swapped like they are now. Swap!Otacon snapped and was tired of hiding, and decided to fight alongside everyone else from then on, and managed to talk his way into being allowed to receive training somehow. He’s got some slyness to him in this AU, so he has many a method to be more likely to get what he wants later on if he doesn’t actually get what he aims for right away. Snake snapped as well, but his had caused so much destruction that he was removed from the battlefield despite the mission being a success, but was put behind the computer screen because his skills were too vital and important to just drop by discharging him.

Swap!Otacon’s personality changes more than Swap!Snake’s does. Swap!Otacon is a bit snarky at times, but his heart is still in the right place. He likes to test people’s boundaries and poke fun at them a bit to see how they fight back. He’ll still cry quite a bit on occasion, especially if Swap!Snake gives him a good enough beating for acting a fool. A common punishment he receives is being beaten a little bit, then forced to either carry very heavy things in each of his hands (NEVER both supporting one thing) and being forced to stand in either a corner or outside the room he was in, or Swap!Snake will make him get on his hands and knees and be used as a chair for however long Swap!Snake likes or until he gives out and collapses. If he does before Swap!Snake decides to get off of him, he’ll be forced to stay a piece of makeshift furniture like this for an additional hour, and Swap!Snake will even force himself to stay sitting down to enforce it (even if he really wants to get up, he doesn’t). As for Swap!Snake, his doesn’t change enough to be considered majorly different like Swap!Otacon, but the ways he does are enough to definitely be noteworthy. He’s a little more open with his feelings, though only slightly and this must be stressed. He’ll also tear up too sometimes, but he won’t outright sob like Otacon does most of the time unless something upsets him enough. Even when that happens, he still cries quietly and covers his face. He’s pretty quiet and standoffish still, but can still manage to be kind at the same time. Cold and quiet outside, but kindhearted and gentle inside. Depending on the situation, he can actually be shy, and blushes when praised by those he thinks positively of since he isn’t too used to positive interaction and praise yet. Swap!Snake can definitely still fight despite his changes from being put in front of a screen most of his time now, and even Swap!Otacon can’t keep up with him for too long despite being deemed the only one able to be on Swap!Snake’s level in combat.

Swap!Otacon is still as much of an otaku as actual Otacon is, and Swap!Snake eventually is talked into looking into some stuff with Swap!Otacon and developing an enjoyment of anime and manga of his own, since he has a lot of free time due to working quickly, and just browses the Web on his own personal laptop quite a bit. He was already a closet VOCALOID and UTAUloid fan and user since the music is much more unique to him than other types, and that kind of helped him quicker warm up to anime and manga. Swap!Snake also has a secret past time of drawing aside from making UTAU covers under the alias YaneHebi (a combination of the words “yandere”, the archetype of unhealthy love, and “hebi”, meaning “snake”). Swap!Otacon eventually finds out after Swap!Snake reveals it through an UTAU cover of the song 404: Virtual Image which depicted his own UTAUloid of the same name as his artist alias and himself later on in the song. Yane Hebi, Swap!Snake’s UTAU, is somewhat of a self insert for him aside from the UTAU being depicted as a much more cheery character, and living up to his yandere archetype with no problems. He puts his own inner thoughts and deep, dark desires into this character. Swap!Otacon will sometimes talk him into joining in to watch some anime together or showing each other songs, but Swap!Snake prefers to keep to himself involving these hobbies for the most part. Swap!Snake has a LOT more going on deep down than Swap!Otacon does, and he can get extremely deep and philosophical in talks while simultaneously venting out pains without even noticing until it’s pointed out to him. He has complicated views on love, and knows what he wants, but doesn’t want to risk ruining anything just going for it and revealing his feelings to who he loves. I headcanon Snake as bisexual usually, but this Swap!Snake is gay, just had girlfriends in the past to try and substitute for what he thought he could never have. He’s also a virgin unlike actual Snake, because he wants to save himself for the one he truly loves the most and wants it to be special and genuine.

These two have a very deep and special friendship just like the actual Snake and Otacon do. Swap!Otacon might decide to shield and protect Swap!Snake all the time, but both know full well that both can hold their own in a fight. Swap!Snake isn’t so cruel to Swap!Otacon as often as it might seem if you just consider his punishments, and actually thinks extremely high of Swap!Otacon, even seeming close to idolizing him sometimes. If Swap!Otacon is gone somewhere for a day or more, Swap!Snake will sometimes sit in his chairs at desks or something and smile as he just thinks about their friendship. He does subtle little gestures of kindness for Swap!Otacon, like making him little gifts, or drawing something for him, and Swap!Otacon always notices and thanks him graciously the soonest chance he can get. Swap!Otacon finds the blush Swap!Snake gets and the gentle smile on his face beyond adorable. Swap!Snake actually is head over heels for Swap!Otacon, but Swap!Otacon never really notices this, or the sometimes questionable things he does to try and express it without outright telling Swap!Otacon how he feels. Ominous positivity at any random time with no context is a common gesture of affection from Swap!Snakes part too, which sometimes can really make Swap!Otacon concerned because of how stalker-ish Swap!Snake seems sometimes with what is said. Things like ‘remember to keep your head up and stay strong through the bad times, I’ll always be watching you so do your best’ usually elicit a concerned reaction.

I want to draw things for this AU and build even further on it, but I’ll stop on the text based building for now since this is LONG already...

#Metal Gear Solid #Solid Snake #Otacon #Hal Emmerich #Metal Gear Solid AU #MGS Swap AU #au imagines

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fishylife · 5 years

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My thoughts on the state of Tumblr

As I said, I’m going to continue using Tumblr but I think that over time I’ll become less and less active. Of course, that is all dependent on the Tumblr community as well, because most of my stuff is just reblogged from others.

I haven’t decided what new platform(s) I’m going to use because frankly, I don’t think there’s a good substitute for Tumblr as of now (for fandom content, anyway, which is mostly what I use Tumblr for).

Why I’ll miss Tumblr as we know it

(1) The fandom aspect

Tumblr was often my go-to source for fan reactions for movies, TV shows, books, sports, etc. Watch a movie and hardcore ship two characters? Check out Tumblr to see who ships them and what headcanons they have. Saw something happen during a game and want to see it gif’ed? Check out Tumblr to see if anyone else caught it. Finished the end of a TV series and want to speculate what will happen next season? Check out Tumblr to see who has cool theories.

Maybe this is a weird way to put it, but Tumblr has a high amount of people who have the same “fan perspective” as I do. You can take anything as seriously as you want to. If you want to go in depth and do character analyses, there is also an audience for that, but this is also something you can get on other sites (in fact, I find more serious discussions of this kind on Reddit). For fanfiction, we have AO3 (which honest is such a godsent. That website is totally free and I can’t express how much I appreciate the staff there). If you want to make a dumb joke, start an incorrect quotes blog, or talk about a headcanon that popped into your mind, there will be people who are also into that. This less serious, “supplemental” stuff is what I’ll struggle to find outside of Tumblr.

I think part of this is attributed to the fact that you can make different kinds of posts on Tumblr. You can have image posts, long introspective pieces, videos, short rants, one-line jokes, etc. Tumblr is pretty all-encompassing when it comes to fan content. This is sort of related to my next point.

(2) The community aspect

The reason why people can make all sorts of posts and it still works is that people’s posts are tied to their personal blogs. Contrast this with Reddit, where most posts are tied to subreddits, so if you want to make a short post with a joke or something it has to pass the rules of the subreddit, which might not be possible.

However, on Tumblr, you can make a post just shouting into the void. I’ve made posts about obscure stuff (e.g. about a TV show that no one I know has watched), and months later someone likes it. It’s easier for people to shout into the void to look for people with similar interests without having to make it as formal as having to set up a subcommunity. For example, if I just wanted to check out some magic AU headcanons, maybe on Reddit I might have to look for a magic AU subreddit, which is pretty damn specific so there’s a near zero chance of finding something like that. I’d probably look for a magic subreddit (not sure if that exists) or the worldbuilding subreddit, but that’s way too broad to find magic AU. Meanwhile, on Tumblr, I can just look for a tag and anything related will pop up. What I’m trying to say is that it’s a lot easier to look for people who have the same specific interests as you.

I may have mentioned this before, but Tumblr was the first place where I actually got o participate in fandom. I was a lurker on Livejournal and I scarcely commented on fanfiction, and almost never posted original content. On the other hand, Tumblr offered baby steps for me to participate in fandom. It started with lurking and liking posts. Then it grew to reblogging. Then it grew to commenting in the tags, and eventually I felt more comfortable making my own posts about my own thoughts (and writing fanfiction).

I’m also just going to miss having a personal blog. My blog is a mix of all of my interests, and the mix of interests is what makes it unique to me. I like that my blog is a mix of hockey, soccer, Sailor Moon, Bleach, dolls, movie reviews, and a ton of other stuff. At the same time, other people’s blogs are going to be a mix of things they like, and that’s the beauty of being able to build a personal blog.

(3) Types of posts

This ties back to my earlier point about how people can make all sorts of posts. Text posts, images, videos, audio, etc. A lot of people have discussed what platforms they’ll be moving to. The popular ones I’ve seen are Twitter, Instagram, Pixiv, Pillowfort, etc.

I haven’t used Pillowfort before, but from what I hear it’s similar to Tumblr. I hear it’s still in Beta though (and currently has a one-time fee) so I probably won’t be using it for the time being.

In the past, I’ve tried using Twitter but honestly, I don’t like the interface at all. It’s hard to use, it’s a pain to look for old stuff, etc. The biggest thing is that it only allows for short posts. And I’m the kind of person who hates those multi-part tweets. If what you need to say is more than 3 tweets long, you should really be writing a blog post. That’s my opinion. But clearly that platform isn’t the best for longer type posts, like fanfiction, fan theories, character analysis, etc.

Instagram and Pixiv are image-focused. So they’re great for fanart, photography, aesthetic blogs, etc. But it cuts out a lot of other stuff. I suppose you can fit in short witty jokes and stuff in the description parts, but you can’t fit an essay or anything longer than, say, a paragraph. Not to mention these platforms are really more about the visuals.

Livejournal would have offered the freedom to make all sorts of posts, but fandom is pretty dead there. Also, I hear that it had a similar breakdown on adult content.

Why Tumblr will change

I realize I haven’t addressed the actual reason why this is happening though. As I understand it, Tumblr is enforcing stricter rules on adult content.

For the past while, I’m sure a lot of people have been dealing with pornbots. The other problem that I haven’t had contact with is child pornography. However, Tumblr hasn’t been able to effectively handle these issues. They attempted to take down inappropriate and illegal content but as a result, a lot of normal blogs were being taken down.

I don’t post much nsfw content here so I can’t comment much, but there will be many people who are disappointed because they do post nsfw but inoffensive content. I just think it’s unfortunate that Tumblr hasn’t been able to come up with a solution to address the specific problem. They’ve tried to come up with a blanket solution. Although the blanket solution might address the problem, it’s also affecting the ability of a lot of normal users to carry out their usual activities. I know nothing about the sorts of algorithms used to combat these issues but I think it’s just unfortunate that a solution can’t be found.

Next steps

Honestly, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve always been late to fandoms, so I’ll be waiting and seeing where fandoms move. Maybe when Pillowfort is officially released, I might check it out (if it ever becomes free). Maybe I’ll go back to Livejournal. Maybe I’ll lurk on Instagram. Or finally check out Dreamwidth. I really don’t know.

But I have a post with some of my contact info outside of Tumblr. Please feel free to ask me for contact info. I’ve never made internet friends before Tumblr, and honestly I think I’m going to miss how easy it is to talk to others purely on the basis of sharing similar interests.

#thinking out loud #tumblr #thoughts

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anjalena123 · 3 years

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Go News Review -Best News Website Builder Software Tool

Introduction Having an online business that runs on its own and generates money sounds great right. A business running silently in the background while you are living your life and doing other things, who would not want that that’s everyone’s dream but you ever tried to build a passive income business like this you know it is not easy it can seem completely unattainable, but there are thousands of people doing it right now and most of them are not just making a small amount of income they are making big money so how is this possible. Any successful project to create passive income needs to follow these three rules, There needs to be a considerable demand for your product you need to produce an item or provide a service that people are looking for every single day for example a website that millions of people could not live without . A successful endeavor will be in a high demand niche area, this will guarantee a wide audience of people looking for what you have to offer. The product should have a proven track record of being profitable why spend time and energy reinventing the wheel you want to make sure other people are making good money using the same business model. The project should be easy to monetize to make a lot of money from an online business. You need more than just one or two monetization methods the more sources of income you have for the same traffic the higher your earning potential these rules are logical. If you do our research and follow our guidelines we will have a good chance of building a solid business that will deliver reliable profit. Now the question is there an online business model that meets those three rules there’s one we researched hundreds of online models and found the one booming niche that consistently makes strong profits News websites. News websites are huge trend and bring in millions of readers every day because they are consistently high traffic they can also be highly profitable and lucrative for you. First let’s check whether they are follow our three traits of a worthwhile passive income. Demand Demand for news websites is at an all-time high. People all over the world are addicted to the latest updates on news , politics , entertainment and sports they want to stay consistently up to date to do this they check news sources every day or more for updates. The proof a lot of websites earn thousands of dollars every day and that’s without even pushing people to buy a product here’s how much some news sites earn on a daily basis. Huffington post earns $29896 a day from advertising revenue alone. Mashable earns $15781 a day just from their ad banners. A lot of news websites earn significant income passively by monetizing their valuable content by mixing news with related product and services this technique easily turns site traffic into sales and leads. You can turns the internet addiction to news into money in your pocket. Today’s the best day to get started. The demand for news and updates is even higher right now . In these uncertain times people never know what to expect from the news , every headline can affect their daily lives because of this more people than ever check the news even if they don’t care about the current events before they do now and they willing to look anywhere not just the most popular sites . According to the economist many readers will get their news from any source as long as they can get the latest updates this makes it easy for newcomers like you to get involved in the industry. Its clear this is a rare opportunity but there is a big problem it’s hard to set this up the right way. You have to build a site that readers will trust and will come back to you. You have to design it well and fully monetize it from the ground up that takes technical skills and a lot of work just building a site can be time consuming then after going live you have to constantly comb the internet yourself looking foe news. Once you find something newsworthy you have to rewrite it , make it eye-catching create offers to add your site the list goes on and on it never ends . You are probably already exhausted and are wondering what you can do to make it easy.

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Overview

Vender : Ariel Sanders

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Launch Date: 2021-Feb-10

Launch Time: 11:00 EST

Front-End Price: $19

Recommendation: Highly Recommend

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Niche: General

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Phase 1:Trending News Dashboard: Go to the Dashboard, which is a big grade 'a' asset shop. You can find content arranged by niches and grouped by the best posts. Here, you can see a mix of the latest top news headlines, all pulled from the best online outlets. You can choose which stories to pick up from.

Phase 2: Click & Spin: The article can be edited and spun on the fly. You open a lightbox with the performance of the content dashboard, and you can rewrite, edit the text, connect and add images. It includes a built-in spinner of text.

Article spinning is a search engine optimization (seo) writing strategy that generates what appears to be fresh material from what already exists. Content spinning works by substituting any number of alternative versions for particular terms, phrases, sentences, or even entire paragraphs to provide each spin with a slightly different variation. Phase 3: You're set! That's your viral site ready! The ready-made banners of the best deals from clickbank, jvzoo and warriorplus are incorporated into all the pages of your viral platform, giving you 50 percent commission on every sale. You are prepared to benefit right out of the box with all of these dfy promotions.

Features and Benefit

There are a plenty of features and countless benefits with Gonews that I listed few of them as below

Benefit building email list: All autoresponders are sponsored by Gonews. Each email subscriber, with Gonews, is worth $1 per month. From a list of 10,000 subscribers, you can make $10,000 a month.

Main Schedule Module: You can organize each group into dates during the time space you want with the main schedule module.

Visual calendar: With a great visual calendar, envision and manage your content to keep track of everything through its simple, easy-to-use drag and drop gui.

Adsense profits: all is ready! Depending on the type of ad, Google pays you for the advertising shown on your site based on user clicks on advertisements or ad impressions. Amazon affiliate profits: you can make from $100 to $25000 from an amazon affiliate website, just put your amazon ID in.

Flipping your domain for profit: the site is your real estate. Some people make just $500 a month, and some make flipping websites more than $5,000 a month. Post's stream dashboard: from the best blog, all the best articles and posts come up, and every post gets scheduled with one click.

The post spinner tool rewords content to ensure its 100 percent original and exclusive, helping your Google rankings and on-site SEO, in order to prevent plagiarism.

Host includes + your domain option: Gonews is a solution that is fully hosted. You may use a subdomain to control your site or add the domain you like.

More Features You’ll Love:

Fake Counters: Thinking is all about it! A little bit of cheating makes it simpler to spread out your stuff.

Simple Social Shares: With social media sharing buttons, promote your site for free and build brand awareness. The most famous posts, the hottest and trending ones, are popular, trends and hot shows in a clear way.

Complete tracking: don't worry about page views or advertisements being monitored. Google analytics is provided here.

Post page control: changing settings globally or per single post! Customize models, and reorder them by hiding & revealing elements that you like. Amazing Polling: Of all viral pages, it'll carry you the most entertaining polls.

Photomix= Photos Mix: Create viral photos without Photoshop touching them. To take action on your platform, be imaginative and engage guests.

Reactions: In a fast and easy way, let you share your reaction to an article. Integration of social comments: pick your favorite comment system or even use them all at the same time, no additional steps needed.

Open your own shop: start selling and make even more cash with our lovely integration of woocommerce.

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SSL certificates include: An SSL certificate holds confidential details private by scrambling data as it moves to and from your website, such as credit card data. Powerful Voting: You can now add to literally every template a voting user interface so that visitors can vote up and down from any page on your site.

Custom Domain: Advanced users are able to make this page accessible on their own domain by pointing a DNS record to our servers.

Translate: To create multi language pages, translate to any language.

Pros and Cons

100% free traffic and it always will be

Cloud-Based App – nothing to install or download, access from any device

Fully monetized news site builder

Grabs and converts massive addicted traffic into leads, commissions and sales!

New Gonews cloud builder

Ecom store & affiliate store built-in

Unlimited free hosting included

Beginner-friendly – no code

No monthly fees

Adsense to profits for every click

Set-up your own custom domain

30 day money back guarantee.

New news site cloud software

Cons

Haven’t found so far

Price and Evaluation

Below are the details of different options offered to purchase Gonews. Check them out and pick up your favorite one:

FE GoNews $27 TO $47 Fully Monetized GoNews Builder Grabs and converts massive addicted traffic into leads, commissions and sales!

Ready-made clickbank, jvzoo & warriorplus offers.

Ecom store & affiliate store built-in.

trending articles dashboard & brain planner manager

breakthrough cloud SAAS builds

grab and convert massive addicted traffic into leads, commissions and sales!

Jvzoo, Warriorplus & Clickbankprofits

DFY banners campaigns of the best products to run your campaigns and begin to profit instantly!

Ecom products profits

Begin to make sales out of the box. according to Forbes, at three months the average ecommerce site is generating just over $150,000 in monthly revenue. OTO1 GoNews Traffic $37 TO $47

13 Social Media Sites And Generate Traffic From All The Sites Simultaneously

Get Insights On All The Traffic You Generated From Social Media Directly From Your GoNews Dashboard.

Keep Your Social Media Accounts Fresh And Engaging By Regularly Updating The Content.

Customize Each Post Or Post It All As Is. OTO2 GoNews Club $37 TO $47 REQ

You Can Build Unlimited Sites!

Ready Made DFY GoNews To Begin To Profit And Grow Your Network Right Away

DFY GoNews Added To The User Dashboard Each Month.

Premium Addons Like Drag And Drop Builder, Live Chat, And More! OTO3 GoNews Scraper $37 TO $47

Grab & Post Viral Content From Any Websites!

Rewrite The Content In One Click To Make It Yours

Import Everything From The Title To The Images, To All The Text Inside The Content.

Easy-To-Use Thanks To Its Point And Click Interface. No Coding And No Learning Curve.

OTO4 GoNews Store $37 TO $47

Import All The Data Of The Products, Including Its Variation, Description, And Even The Pictures.

Search Directly From Your Admin Dashboard. Save Hours Of Your Time.

No API Key Required. It Just Works!

Get The Chrome Extension Designed To Automatically Scrap And Export Products To Your Site With Just One Click.

OTO5 GoNews Agency $197 REQ Agency License. A License To Sell GoNews Like Your Own Product And Keep 100% Of The Profits.

Proven Selling Tools. Gain Access To A Proven Sales Page And Video Sales Letter

Done-For-You Selling Platform. You Can Use Our Selling Platform To Sell The Product

24/7 Access To Our Support Team Conclusion

So this is my review about Gonews. I hope my article will help you in choosing the right tool to grow your business. -DISCLOSURE- I am affiliated, but not sponsored by any product featured in this article. The links in the article are my affiliate links which means if you click on one of them and buy the product I’ll receive a small commission. Not being sponsored allows me to keep my own opinions and provide product reviews without bias. From the millions of products, I pick the ones I personally have tested and have been highly impressed which I’ll then recommend. This is how I feed my family by making honest and useful reviews so that you can make informed buying decisions. I appreciate your support.

#news updates #news sources #news softwares #news website builder #affiliate marketing #affiliate promotion #digitalmarketing #review warriorplus #gonews review #best news software tool

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choclette8 · 4 years

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A super quick, easy and tasty vegan main that can be on the table within twenty minutes. This spinach chickpea curry is made with coconut milk rather than tomatoes, which makes a most delicious change. Serve with rice or flatbreads.

When you want something in a hurry, tins are your friend. Add a few fresh ingredients and some spices and you have a meal fit for anyone. This spinach chickpea curry is one of my go to midweek meals.

Spinach Chickpea Curry

As with most good dinner recipes, this spinach chickpea curry starts with an onion and some oil. Gently fry the onion until translucent, then add spices. If you’re not yet feeling hungry, the aroma of frying onions and spices should do the trick.

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Fry the onions until translucent.

Add the chilli, garlic, ginger and cumin seeds.

Tip in the coconut milk and give a good stir. Then add the chickpeas and simmer with the lid covered. It’s best to add the chopped spinach stems before the leaves as they’re a little tougher, so will take longer to cook.

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Add the coconut milk, stir then add the chickpeas.

After a few minutes, add the chopped spinach stems.

I try to go easy on the salt, so you may find that ½ tsp isn’t enough for you. Somewhere between ½ and 1 tsp should be about right. There are however, plenty of flavours going on in this curry. Just think spices, coconut and lime. So you might not need quite as much salt as you think. Just check the seasoning as you go along.

Stir this in just before you add the spinach leaves. Cover the pan and simmer for a further 3-4 minutes.

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Add the spinach leaves and simmer for 3-4 minutes.

Squeeze in the lime juice and give a good stir.

Turn off the heat but leave the lid on whilst you get the table ready and dish up the rice or flatbreads. Finally, squeeze in the lime juice just before serving. Yoghurt goes really nicely with this curry, if you fancy some. See my top tips below for other accompaniments.

Spinach Chickpea Curry Top Tips

Cooking Times

Although you can cook this spinach and chickpea curry within fifteen minutes, it’s tastier if you can leave it for a bit longer. Allow the chickpeas to simmer for an additional five minutes before adding the spinach and the flavours will have a chance to penetrate and develop further.

Can You Cook Your Own Chickpeas?

Yes, you can cook chickpeas from scratch. I boil up a batch then freeze them in tin size portions as so many recipes require tins. A 400g tin of chickpeas contains about 250g once drained of liquid. Don’t forget to keep the liquid, known these days as aquafaba. It can be used for any number of things, including vegan meringues.

Dried chickpeas normally double their weight when cooked. So for the 500g of chickpeas needed for this spinach chickpea curry, you’ll need 250g of dried.

You’ll need to soak the chickpeas overnight prior to cooking. The longer you do this, the less cooking time you’ll need. So I try and soak mine for twenty four hours. Rinse them well, place in a lidded pan and cover with water. Bring to the boil, place the lid on top and simmer for an hour. Try a chickpea. If it’s not soft, continue to cook until the whole batch is done to your liking. But be careful not to overcook to the point of disintegration.

You can keep the cooking water as aquafaba and use it just as you would the tinned stuff.

What Can You use Instead of Spinach?

Kale and most types of cabbage work really well if you can’t get hold of spinach or don’t like it. Likewise you could substitute chard, beetroot or turnip tops. Nettles make a great spinach substitute when they’re in season too.

All but the turnip tops will need a longer cooking time though. So add them at the same time as you add the chickpeas and test for tenderness before turning the heat off. They may need an extra few minutes.

Coconut or Tomatoes?

A surprising number of people are allergic to tomatoes. So coconut milk can be a very welcome alternative. Moreover, it makes for a particularly creamy and delicious chickpea spinach curry. But a tin of coconut milk is more expensive. You can easily substitute a tin of tomatoes if you prefer. You may, however, need to add a little water if the curry is looking too dry.

What do You Serve with Spinach Chickpea Curry?

For a quick midweek meal, this chickpea and spinach curry is excellent served with just rice or flatbreads. If, however, you want a proper curry night or you’re entertaining, it makes a great centrepiece for a larger spread. Just sprinkle some chopped coriander over the top.

Cauliflower and potato curry is a nice foil as is a mixed vegetable curry. Chutney is a must. Although mango chutney is traditional, I find my spiced apple chutney works a treat. A green salad can freshen things up. And a bowl of cucumber and mint raita is always welcome.

If you’re planning on accompanying the curry with rice, put the rice on to cook before you start on the curry. They should then both be ready at the same time.

Other Chickpea Recipes You Might Like

Barley bowl with spiced aubergine, chickpeas & tomatoes (vegan)

Black chickpea & red quinoa burgers (vegan)

Carrot falafel with tahini sauce (vegan)

Savoury chocolate falafel

Keep in Touch

Thanks for visiting Tin and Thyme. If you make this spinach chickpea curry or a variant of it, I’d love to hear about it in the comments below. Do share photos on social media too and use the hashtag #tinandthyme, so I can spot them.

For more delicious and nutritious recipes, follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or Pinterest.

Spinach Chickpea Curry. PIN IT.

Spinach Chickpea Curry – The Recipe

Spinach Chickpea Curry

A super quick, easy and tasty vegan midweek main that can be on the table within twenty minutes. Serve with rice or flatbreads.

2 tbsp sunflower oil

1 large onion – finely diced

2 cloves garlic – finely chopped

1 tsp cumin seeds

1 red chilli – seeds removed and finely chopped

2 cm knob ginger – finely chopped or grated

1 tsp favourite curry powder ((I used madras for this one))

1 tsp turmeric

400 g tin coconut milk

½ tsp sea salt – or to taste

500 g cooked chickpeas (2 x 400g tins – drained)

250 g mature spinach – well washed

1 lime – juiced

In a large pan, fry the onion in the oil over a gently heat until translucent – about three minutes.

Turn the heat up a little and add the cumin seeds, garlic, ginger and chilli. Stir and fry for a couple of minutes or so.

Add the curry powder, turmeric, coconut milk and salt. Give a good stir and bring to a gentle simmer. Add the chickpeas, cover the pan and simmer for four minutes.

Chop the spinach stems into 2-3 cm lengths and add to the pot. Place the lid over the top and simmer for three minutes. Roughly chop the spinach leaves and throw in. Cover and simmer for a further three minutes.

Turn off the heat. Leave covered for a further two minutes. Squeeze in the lime juice, stir and serve with rice or flat breads.

Please note: calories and other nutritional information are per serving. They’re approximate and will depend on exact ingredients used.

Sharing

I’m sharing this recipe for spinach chickpea curry with A Strong Coffee for #CookBlogShare.

Spinach Chickpea Curry – With Coconut, Not Tomatoes A super quick, easy and tasty vegan main that can be on the table within twenty minutes.

#chickpeas #coconut milk #spinach

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libbysilson-blog · 5 years

Text

Week 9; Entourage

IN CLASS:

Context is the environment or setting something is in and often helps describe function or use. A typical way of describing a context visually is through adding entourage; animals, plants and people all help give a sense of scale. Placing your creation into a scene can achieve this too.

Conversions of data; to grams:

Primary energy consumption:

Linen; 100%, 6.0 MJ (611829728g (3dp))

Cotton; 86%, 5.1 MJ (520055269g (4dp))

Water Consumption:

Linen; 100%, 6.4 L (6,400g)

Cotton, 402%, 26L (26,000g)

Global warming potential:

Linen; 100%, 130g of CO2 (130g)

Cotton; 98%, 128g of CO2 (128g)

Eutrophication:

Linen; 100%, 105 mg of Phosphate (0.105g)

Cotton; 118%, 125 mg of Phosphate (0.125g)

Freshwater aquatic eco-toxicity potential:

Linen; 100%, 11g of Pesticides (11g)

Cotton; 780%, 90g of Pesticides (90g)

Data Table Chart:

From the data above, I have a clear idea of how I want to illustrate the data within my coding art; I will be creating five seperate shapes/ forms (each environmental factor), then I will bring these all together for my final, in which I will screen print onto a cotton or Linen T-shirt. Within each factor, I will use both the percentage and the gram numbers for each material; The two materials (linen and cotton) will each have their own colour, and the percentage will be thicker and possibly more transparent than the grams.

Each factor has very varied data in size in comparison to each other, especially within the grams. As each factor will create an individual art form, I am able to divide/ multiply the numbers within each set (where appropriate) to make the numbers smaller or larger so that they are easier to use and apply to the coding process, via processing.

Here is the updated data table chart:

The reason for these particular changes within the factors, is that I wanted to keep all of the numbers within all factors to the lower end of 3 significant figures (3sf) or the higher end of 2 significant figures (2sf). I kept the ‘Fresh Water Aquatic Eco-toxicity’ the same as I thought having a low data point could create an interesting outcome, and the number for cotton was already quite high.

Creating The Code:

I am going to create each factor individually on processing and then save these as individual pdfs. From this, I may import all pdf files into photoshop to create the abstract work, or I will play around with processing to see if it’s possible to create what I am looking to generate.

Here is the code for the image below, as well as the code for the individual images below):

My coding design below, takes inspiration from the ‘class birthdates sample data’ that we collected as a class. I really liked the circular ring design that the code created. I’m wanting to develop this further to illustrate the factors and the differences between the linen and the cotton t-shirt within these factors.

Images created via individual processing files:

Through generating these code images, I have come to realise that you can not see the differences within the materials; linen and cotton, which is one of the biggest aspects within my concept.

I will need to repeat this process, creating floats for each individual circle ring, and alter either the shape, colours or opaqueness/ transparency of each material. Or, I can simplify this and just create basic ellipses/ or another shape, by substituting in each number from the data within each factor.

Development One:

Within this development, I have created each factor individually; Primary energy consumption, Water consumption, Global warming potential, eutrophication, and fresh water aquatic eco-toxicity.

Within each of these factors, I have shown the variation between each t-shirt material; Linen and cotton. I have done this by using different colours; green for linen, blue for cotton. Then, I have further refined these into percentage % and grams g; percentage being more transparent and having a thicker stroke of 5, compared to grams, with no transparency and a stroke of 2.5.

However, within this development I have come across an error within the code, where one of the rings in each sketch appeared black and had very little stroke weight; I need to ask Tim or Olly for help on this.

To develop further:

To develop further I want to bring the five circular sketches (factors) together to make a more abstract, and creative design. Whether I achieve this by bringing all of the rings into a new processing file and change the position on the page, and then put them into the draw function so I can play with mouseX and mouseY.

Alternative ways of developing could be to eliminate either the grams or percentage from the table data, as they are essentially the same thing. From here I can change up the design, and create each factor’s sketch using only two circles, where I can then trial different ways to layout the factors; whether that be taking inspiration from a Venn diagram - overlapping the circles, using transparency, strokes and stroke weights.

Development Two:

Within this development I have decided to eliminate the percentage data from the table; allowing me to focus on the differences between the linen t-shirt’s impact on the environment and the cotton t-shirts impact.

Individual rings:

Primary Energy Consumption:

Water Consumption:

Global warming potential:

Eutrophication:

Fresh water aquatic eco-toxicity:

All factors brought together to formulate design below in photoshop; I could probably create this in processing which will eliminate blurriness etc:

Development Three:

Now that I have this design formulated, I can begin to bring these together on processing instead of via photoshop. This will just allow me to eliminate any negative factors that may effect the quality of the design, e.g blurriness, size mishaps etc.

I began by creating individual pdfs, using the OneFrame pdf export via;

File --> Examples --> Libraries --> PDF Export --> OneFrame.

From here I created a new processing document, and wrote the code all together to form design one, as seen in the photoshop file above;

This will be my final screen print design, however, I will be developing this design further for mockup examples and aspects within my booklet, such as; Code design into different environments; Fabric/ t-shirt company, t-shirt tag, website mock up, shop window of thrift store, poster on wall etc.

Screen printing vs Heat transfer inspiration/ research:

https://medium.com/@clashgraphicsga/screen-printing-heat-transfer-and-direct-to-garment-for-custom-t-shirts-2fce6c1f679a

Screen print:

Colours used in screen printing are vibrant

High quality image

Long lasting results

I have the ink and can simplify this process using a thick piece of smooth card and a stencil - one of each colour; green, blue.

My only concern is that the design is too fine, which will be hard to get precision.

Heat transfer:

Colours will be exact to what is on the screen/ rather than using blue or green ink for a craft store

Complicated designs can be easily transferred in good quality

Obviously the image below is a lot more technical that the method I would use; print off sticker on vinyl shine paper and heat press onto T-shirt using baking paper and iron. But the image below gives you an idea of how heat transfer works.

T-shirt mockup concept:

So, to develop this design further, I want to create the titles of each of the factors and bring these into the design, next to the factor’s circle it belongs to. This will make my code easier to read, allowing the viewers to understand the environmental differences between a linen t-shirt and a cotton t-shirt.

Additional process:

Currently this design illustrates the environmental impact between a cotton t-shirt and a linen t-shirt. Linen is green (122, 204, 90), cotton is blue (91, 170, 207). From this, the design illustrates that a linen t-shirt is more environmentally friendly than a cotton t-shirt in terms of Water consumption, eutrophication, and fresh water aquatic eco-toxicity. Linen is also very similar to cotton in Global warming potential, in terms of environmental impact factors.

Development Four; Typography in processing:

In this development, I will be adding typography via processing. This will include; the environmental factor titles, the number of grams (g) within each material and possibly a project title.

I have formulated quite a lot of research into typography via processing:

First I watch a youtube tutorial by ‘The Coding Train’ called ‘13.1 Strings and Drawing Text - Processing Tutorial’

Link below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLzne4XaR3M

Here are some notes I wrote from the tutorial:

String S = “file.jpg”

Is a data type; capital S meaning it’s an object. (Can be any letter, eg A,B,C)

An ‘int’ is a primitive data type like just a number, a float is just a number, a P image is an object with pixels, height etc.

This string has a sequence of characters but also has lot of other functions that we can use to manipulate and work with:

charAt() - gives us an individual character at a specific index, there is an array; numbers, objects, its an ordered list of ‘stuff’ we access each individual element of the array by its index; starting with 0 and counting up. So to draw the first character of text, use the formula: text(s. charAt(0), x,y);

length()

indextOf()

Substring()

ToLowerCase()

ToUpperCase()

Here is the basic code that I will be using to create my titles:

Code for typography around a curve:

Here is my design with the factor titles added:

I found that the text looked a little bit blurry when the sketch opened up and when the sketch was exported as a PDF.

Because of this, I think I will go back into photoshop to create the titles so that the work/ mockups I produce are executed at high quality.

Below are possible contexts/ environments/ applications for my code; these are just initial concepts: These are just concepts, no typography developed yet.

T-shirt; simple t-shirt design, t-shirt tag e.g. 100% cotton, 100% linen, and/ or t-shirt worn during an environmental march, in a thrift store, etc

Poster; in the window of a thrift store, in a shopping mall to create awareness.

Logo; for a t-shirt company, or fabric making company.

Website; mockup for t-shirt or fabric company, perhaps even Greenpeace?

Booklet/ zine; including all of the above aspects; could be photographed on a on a table, someone holding the book, etc.

0 notes

focusontheeasternlightning-blog · 5 years

Text

Uncovering the Mystery of “Judgment”

By En Hui, Malaysia

My name is En Hui and I’m 46 years old. I live in Malaysia, and I have been a believer in the Lord for 27 years. In October 2015, I moved to another city to take up a job.

My new colleagues were all big fans of Facebook, which they used for chatting, finding new friends, and posting images. Seeing that I didn’t have a Facebook account they set one up for me, and I gradually learned how to go online and use it. Sometimes I would see the postings of some brothers and sisters in the Lord and I’d share them and “like” them. Sometimes I’d post things that praised the Lord or share the Lord’s grace with some of my good friends. Every day I felt that there was fulfillment in my life.

One day in February 2016 when I was browsing one of my good friend’s Facebook page I saw this posting: “We discussed the issue of judgment today in our group. We all said different things but, for the most part, agreed what it means. Someone said: ‘I don’t understand and I don’t dare say any old nonsense because it’s something that God will do in the future and we shouldn’t try and blindly guess.’ Someone else said: ‘Psalm 75:2 says “When I shall receive the congregation I will judge uprightly.” Everything that every single person does is being recorded by God, so when the Lord Jesus returns to judge all humans He will reveal our deeds to all as though playing a movie. So we should always be righteous and never do evil in order to avoid God’s judgment of being cast into hell.’ Someone else said: ‘It says in the Bible: “And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works” (Rev 20:11–12). From the text we can see that when the Lord Jesus returns in the last days He will set up a giant desk in the sky and will sit behind it. He will then unroll a scroll on it, and, with all of mankind kneeling on the ground, call out the name of every individual and judge each of them one-by-one according to the deeds they have done. Good people will be taken up to the kingdom of heaven by the Lord, while the wicked will be cast into hell.’”

After reading the posting I sat in my chair, and in my mind there formed a sketchy image of the Lord Jesus judging people: The Lord sitting on a throne, people kneeling in front of the desk and coming clean on all their sins in order for God to judge, and the Lord sending each one of them to heaven or to hell according to their deeds. I thought about how I’d been a loyal follower of the Lord for over 20 years and had tried my best to carry out His instructions. I believed that the Lord would see my piety and take me up to heaven…. But as I was thinking all this I suddenly had an idea: Now that I knew how to use the Internet why didn’t I do a search for “judgment” and see what came up? I opened up a browser and typed in the word and I can’t remember which link I clicked on but to my surprise this sentence popped up: “God’s Chastisement and Judgment Is the Light of Man’s Salvation.” This sentence piqued my interest immediately, and so I went to the web site to read more. As the web page loaded I heard the pleasing and thought-provoking hymn “God’s Chastisement and Judgment Is the Light of Man’s Salvation.” It was sung: “In his life, if man wishes to be cleansed and achieve changes in his disposition, if he wishes to live out a life of meaning, and fulfill his duty as a creature, then he must accept God’s chastisement and judgment, and must not allow God’s discipline and God’s smiting to depart from him, so he can free himself from the manipulation and influence of Satan and live in the light of God. Know that God’s chastisement and judgment is the light, and the light of man’s salvation, and that there is no better blessing, grace or protection for man.”

After the hymn finished I pondered over the lyrics, which I found to be quite moving. I began to think: “Is God’s chastisement and judgment really the light of our salvation? Is it mankind’s greatest protection and grace? How are we to understand this? For people to be purified and live meaningful lives does that mean they have to accept God’s chastisement and judgment?” I pondered over the words in the hymn, and many questions circled around my brain. I also thought: “If God were to judge man, wouldn’t man be condemned? And how come judgment becomes a light of salvation?” I was curious and a little bit excited because I had never heard any of this expressed before. Even though the judgment being talked about in the hymn was not how I understood judgment to be, I still faintly felt that judgment seemed to have deep significance and was related to a person’s future and fate. I checked where the hymn had originated and discovered that it was from The Church of Almighty God, and so I went to The Church of Almighty God’s web site. I discovered that the web site had a fresh and attractive home page and the content was rich and varied, with listening material, reading material, songs, discussions and lots of other stuff. I thought to myself: “How come no one ever told me about this web site? Something so good, but no one knew about it so that they could share it with me?” I clicked on the link labeled “books” and as I was scrolling down the list I saw this book Testimonies of Experiences in Entry Into Life. I clicked on it and saw that they were mostly testimonies about the issue of God’s judgment, for example “God’s judgment and chastisement saved me,” “God’s judgment and chastisement was a great salvation for me,” “I saw God’s love in His judgment and chastisement,” “God’s judgment and chastisement awoke my sinful spirit,” “God’s judgment and chastisement put me on the right path.” Because it was almost time for me to go to work I only had time to look briefly at a few of these testimonies. The authors all described how their corrupt dispositions were transformed and also talked about their deficiencies, corruption, mistaken views in believing in God, etc., and how these were changed through the words of judgment of Almighty God. This made me even more curious about “God’s Chastisement and Judgment Is the Light of Man’s Salvation.” Could it be that judgment wasn’t about being condemned? That it wasn’t about determining each person’s ending? I started to get agitated because I knew I had to get to the bottom of what “God’s Chastisement and Judgment Is the Light of Man’s Salvation” was talking about. I came to the conclusion that Testimonies of Experiences in Entry Into Life was probably a book that was extremely useful in helping people to believe in God, and that I should take a good look at it. But time was running short, so I turned off my computer and went to work.

That night, as I was tossing around in my bed unable to sleep, images of The Church of Almighty God’s web site kept on popping into my brain. I especially couldn’t get my head around the sentence “God’s Chastisement and Judgment Is the Light of Man’s Salvation,” and I really wanted to know what the “judgment” in the sentence referred to.

On getting up the next day I opened up The Church of Almighty God’s web site and started searching for anything to do with the word “judgment.” I saw an article titled “Christ Does the Work of Judgment With the Truth” and in it I read these words: “The ‘judgment’ in the words previously spoken—judgment will begin at the house of God—refers to the judgment God passes today on those who come before His throne in the last days. Perhaps there are those who believe in such supernatural imaginings as that, when the last days have arrived, God will erect a big table in the heavens, upon which a white tablecloth will be spread, and then, sitting upon a great throne with all men kneeling on the ground, He will reveal the sins of each man and thereby determine whether they are to ascend to heaven or be sent down to the lake of fire and brimstone. No matter what the imaginings of man, the substance of God’s work cannot be altered. The imaginings of man are nothing but the constructs of man’s thoughts and come from the brain of man, summed up and pieced together from what man has seen and heard. Therefore I say, however brilliant the images conceived, they are still no more than a drawing and are not able to substitute for the plan of God’s work. After all, man has been corrupted by Satan, so how can he then fathom the thoughts of God? Man conceives the work of judgment by God to be particularly fantastic. He believes that since it is God Himself doing the work of judgment, then it must be of the most tremendous scale and incomprehensible to mortals, and it must resound through the heavens and shake the earth; otherwise how could it be the work of judgment by God? He believes that, as this is the work of judgment, then God must be particularly imposing and majestic as He works, and those being judged must be howling with tears and on their knees begging for mercy. Such a scene must be a grand spectacular and be deeply rousing…. Everyone imagines God’s work of judgment to be preternaturally wonderful. Do you know, however, that God began the work of judgment among men long ago and all this while you have been nestled in peaceful oblivion? That, the time that you think God’s work of judgment is officially beginning, it is already time for God to make heaven and earth anew? At that time, perhaps you will have only just understood the meaning of life, but the merciless work of punishment of God shall bring you, still deep in sleep, into hell. Only then will you suddenly realize that God’s work of judgment has already concluded.” I was really surprised to read these words. These are words that reveal people’s innermost thoughts about God’s work of judgment of the last days, and their views, so accurately. The ideas expressed seem so real and practical. Could it be that the idea of a judgment in heaven that I’d been holding on to was just my imaginings? This passage shows that people all imagine the work of God’s judgment to be mysterious and supernatural. It also indicates that the work of judgment has already begun long ago and will soon conclude, and it also exhorts people to hurry and seek the manifestations of God. When I thought that these might be the words of God I became agitated again and I had a strong urge to immediately understand the meaning of God’s judgment. But there was just too much content on The Church of Almighty God’s web site and at the time I didn’t know where to start looking. So I decided to seek out the members of The Church of Almighty God and see if they could help me understand things.

I used the chat room on The Church of Almighty God’s web site to leave a message telling them that I was interested in learning more about “judgment.” Someone answered me very quickly, and introduced two sisters from The Church of Almighty God who interacted with me: Liu Hui and Li Mei. In my exchanges with them, I discovered that these two sisters were open and honest and very straightforward, which made me willing to have heart-to-heart chats with them. I said to them: “I really think that The Church of Almighty God’s web sites are very good. There are all sorts of spiritual books, hymns of praise, music videos, gospel movies, recitations of God’s words, etc. There really is a lot of content, but I just don’t understand what is meant by God’s judgment. I just read ‘Christ Does the Work of Judgment With the Truth’ which seems to say that God’s work of judgment has already begun and that the idea of judgment in heaven is just a product of human imagination. This is quite different from my usual understanding of judgment. Are you able to share your knowledge of this topic with me?”

Sister Li Hui replied: “Praise God! Let’s seek and fellowship together! I used to think in the same way as you in believing that God’s work of judgment of the last days was done in heaven. But after reading Almighty God’s words and fellowshiping with the brothers and sisters I came to realize that this really was just my own imaginings. Whether God’s work of judgment is done in heaven or on earth is clearly stated in some of the prophecies in the Bible. For example, Revelation 14:6–7 say: ‘And I saw another angel fly in the middle of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach to them that dwell on the earth, and to every nation, and kindred, and tongue, and people, Saying with a loud voice, Fear God, and give glory to him; for the hour of his judgment is come: and worship him that made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and the fountains of waters.’ In Psalms 96:13 it says: ‘For he comes, for he comes to judge the earth: he shall judge the world with righteousness, and the people with his truth.’ In John 9:39 it says: ‘For judgment I am come into this world, that they which see not might see.’ In these biblical verses it mentions ‘having the everlasting gospel to preach to them that dwell on the earth’ ‘for he comes to judge the earth’ and ‘For judgment I am come into this world.’ From this we can see that in the last days, God must come in person to the world of human beings, and He will come to do the work of judgment and judge all peoples and all nations. In addition, from reading the Bible we know that before God created mankind He created everything else on earth so that a suitable living environment would be ready for us. God then created mankind and arranged for mankind to live on earth, not in heaven. So how is it possible for us to go to heaven? Corrupt mankind has no choice but to accept God’s judgment here on earth. And in the Book of Revelation it is recorded that on the island of Patmos John saw a great white throne in the sky. In fact, this was just a vision of John’s, but some people have interpreted this to literally mean that when God returns during the last days He will judge people in the sky. This is typical of human’s notions, imaginings, and misinterpretation of prophecies, and is not a reality of God’s work.”

I was stunned by what I heard: I’d read all of the biblical verses that the sisters were sharing with me, so how come I’d never noticed the real meaning of those words? Yes! God had created mankind to live on earth, so how could it be possible for us to go to heaven? My faith really was full of vagueness and ignorance!

Sister Li Mei then fellowshiped this with me: “In the last days God not only incarnates Himself to do the work of judgment on earth but His work already started a long time ago and will soon conclude. God’s work of judgment isn’t done in heaven, like people imagine, and isn’t a case of condemning people as they believe. In fact, before God’s work of judgment concludes, every person who comes before God’s throne is someone who is to be judged, tried, and cleansed by God’s words. All those people who accept God’s judgment and are purified will be taken by God into the kingdom. But for those who refuse the judgment of God’s words, because their sinful nature won’t have been cleansed by God’s judgment they will continue to live among sins and commit sins, they will lie, cheat people, rebel against God and resist God. Because of their sins they will be annihilated in hell, which is a true manifestation of God’s righteous disposition. We who have believed in the Lord during these years have deeply realized that we have received redemption of our sins for believing, but the problem of our sinful nature hasn’t been resolved. We follow the Lord, yet at the same time we often go against the Lord’s instructions and instead give free rein to our fleshly desires and commit sins, such as lying, cheating people, engaging in backstabbing, and trying our best to win fame and fortune. We thirst after empty vanities and chase after the evil trends of the material world. And so on. We misunderstand God, especially when we encounter trials, accidents, and disasters, and then complain about God and even betray Him. We could say that we are living in a constant situation of committing sins and confessing them but never shaking off the shackles of our sinful nature. In the Bible it says: ‘And holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord’ (Heb 12:14). How can people who are as corrupt as we are enter God’s kingdom? Almighty God has said: ‘A sinner such as you, who has just been redeemed, and has not been changed, or been perfected by God, can you be after God’s heart? For you, you who are still of your old self, it is true that you were saved by Jesus, and that you are not counted as a sinner because of the salvation of God, but this does not prove that you are not sinful, and are not impure. How can you be saintly if you have not been changed? Within, you are beset by impurity, selfish and mean, yet you still wish to descend with Jesus—you should be so lucky! You have missed a step in your belief in God: You have merely been redeemed, but have not been changed. For you to be after God’s heart, God must personally do the work of changing and cleansing you; if you are only redeemed, you will be incapable of attaining sanctity. In this way you will be unqualified to share in the good blessings of God, for you have missed out a step in God’s work of managing man, which is the key step of changing and perfecting. And so you, a sinner who has just been redeemed, are incapable of directly inheriting God’s inheritance’ (‘Concerning Appellations and Identity’ in The Word Appears in the Flesh). So during the last days, God is implementing His plan and is carrying out a stage of judging, chastising, and cleansing of people according to corrupt mankind’s needs. The purpose is to thoroughly save us from Satan’s domain and remove the shackles of our sinful nature so that we can be purified and saved. From this we can see that God’s work of judgment of the last days is all about cleansing and salvation. It’s not about condemning us, as people imagine.”

Sister Liu Hui also fellowshiped this with me: “That’s right, Sister En Hui. Let’s think about it, if God’s work of judgment was to condemn and punish us then none of us who have been deeply corrupted by Satan would ever be saved or be able to enter God’s kingdom. If it were like that, what would be the point of God’s work of judgment? The words of Almighty God clearly state why during the last days God does the work of judgment and its significance for us. Let’s read two passages of Almighty God’s words together: ‘Man’s entire life is lived under the domain of Satan, and there is not a single person who can free themselves from the influence of Satan on their own. All live in a filthy world, in corruption and emptiness, without the slightest meaning or value; they live such carefree lives for the flesh, for lust, and for Satan. There is not the slightest value to their existence. Man is incapable of finding the truth that will free him from the influence of Satan. Even though man believes in God and reads the Bible, he does not understand how to free himself of the control of Satan’s influence. Throughout the ages, very few people have discovered this secret, very few have touched upon it. … If man is not cleansed, then he is of the filth; if he is not protected and cared for by God, then he is still a captive of Satan; if he is not judged and chastised, then he will have no means of escaping the oppression of the dark influence of Satan. The corrupt disposition that you show forth and the disobedient behavior that you live out are sufficient to prove that you are still living under the domain of Satan. If your mind and thoughts have not been cleansed, and your disposition has not been judged and chastised, then your entire being is still controlled by the domain of Satan, your mind is controlled by Satan, your thoughts are manipulated by Satan, and your entire being is controlled by the hands of Satan’ (‘The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment’ in The Word Appears in the Flesh). ‘By means of this work of judgment and chastisement, man will fully come to know the filthy and corrupt substance within his own self, and he will be able to change completely and become clean. Only in this way can man become worthy to return before the throne of God. All the work done this day is so that man can be made clean and be changed; through judgment and chastisement by the word, as well as through refinement, man can purge away his corruption and be made pure’ (‘The Mystery of the Incarnation (4)’ in The Word Appears in the Flesh). So how did we feel after reading God’s words? Looking at them from one angle, we felt that God’s words are extremely practical and describe our real-life situation very well. From another angle, we could see that if we wanted to be taken before God’s throne we would first have to pass through God’s judgment and cleansing to rid ourselves of the filth and corruption, and to escape from Satan’s dark influence. Only then will we be qualified to be taken by God into His kingdom. Without God’s work of judgment of the last days we wouldn’t be cleansed enough to become people who are after God’s heart and we certainly wouldn’t be able to enter God’s kingdom. We would just keep on committing sins and resisting God and would finally be annihilated by God in hell. Actually, from the real-life testimonies of the brothers and sisters of The Church of Almighty God we can see that God’s judgment and chastisement is the light that saves people. All of us have been corrupted by Satan, but because we can come before Almighty God and receive the judgment and chastisement in God’s words, our life disposition gradually changes. We go from disobeying God and resisting God to acceptance and submission; we go from arrogance, self-righteousness and obeying no one to being willing to put aside our egos and submit to truths and what is right. In addition, all that is expressed in God’s judgment and chastisement is the truth, and it is also an expression of God’s righteous and holy disposition, so the more we experience God’s judgment and chastisement, the more we know God. And the more we know God, the more clearly we can see through people and events. Accordingly, our viewpoints and values change to varying degrees. We become more and more reverential and fearful of, and submissive to, God. This is the effect on us of Almighty God’s judgment and chastisement. If we don’t have the judgment of the light of truth in God’s words, we have to live in darkness, committing sins and confessing them every day, over and over again, never shaking off the shackles of sin. In such circumstances how could we ever be taken by God into His kingdom?”

After fellowshiping with sister Li and Liu it felt like a bright light had been turned on in my heart. What they said was true: The pastor, the elders, and the brothers and sisters in my church were all unable to extricate themselves from the bondage of sin. I myself also often committed sins in spite of myself, unable to implement the Lord’s words. Continuously living lives of committing sins and confessing them proves that we need God to return and do the work of judgment and cleansing. If I hadn’t looked into God’s work of the last days I would never have come to understand these truths. I’m so grateful for God’s leadership that allowed me to read the words of Almighty God and listen to the fellowshiping of the sisters. I also pondered over the written testimonies of the brothers and sisters of The Church of Almighty God describing the dispositional transformations they achieved through the judgment in God’s words. Then I felt that I understood a bit more about God’s work of judgment of the last days. My own erroneous notions had disappeared and I now knew that God’s judgment and chastisement is essential for us to escape from sin and gain purification.

Then I asked the sisters: “So how does Almighty God do the work of judgment?” Liu Hui answered: “Praise God! You’ve asked a crucial question. Let’s read two more passages of Almighty God’s words and then we’ll have a clearer idea. Almighty God said: ‘In undertaking His work of judgment, God does not simply make clear the nature of man with just a few words; He exposes, deals with, and prunes it over the long term. These methods of exposure, dealing, and pruning cannot be substituted with ordinary words, but with the truth that man does not possess at all. Only methods of this kind are deemed judgment; only through judgment of this kind can man be subdued and thoroughly convinced into submission to God, and moreover gain true knowledge of God. What the work of judgment brings about is man’s understanding of the true face of God and the truth about his own rebelliousness. The work of judgment allows man to gain much understanding of the will of God, of the purpose of God’s work, and of the mysteries that are incomprehensible to him. It also allows man to recognize and know his corrupt substance and the roots of his corruption, as well as to discover the ugliness of man. These effects are all brought about by the work of judgment, for the substance of this work is actually the work of opening up the truth, the way, and the life of God to all those who have faith in Him. This work is the work of judgment done by God’ (‘Christ Does the Work of Judgment With the Truth’ in The Word Appears in the Flesh). ‘Those who wish to gain life without relying on the truth spoken by Christ are the most ridiculous people on earth, and those who do not accept the way of life brought by Christ are lost in fantasy. And so I say that the people who do not accept Christ of the last days shall forever be despised by God. Christ is man’s gateway to the kingdom during the last days, which none may bypass. None may be perfected by God except through Christ. You believe in God, and so you must accept His words and obey His way. You must not just think of gaining blessings without receiving the truth, or accepting the provision of life. Christ comes during the last days so that all those who truly believe in Him may be provided with life. His work is for the sake of concluding the old age and entering the new one, and is the path that must be taken by all those who would enter the new age. If you are incapable of acknowledging Him, and instead condemn, blaspheme or even persecute Him, then you are bound to burn for eternity, and shall never enter the kingdom of God’ (‘Only Christ of the Last Days Can Give Man the Way of Eternal Life’ in The Word Appears in the Flesh). From the words of Almighty God it can be seen that in the last days God has incarnated Himself in order to express all the truths that cleanse and save people, as is needed by mankind. This shows God’s righteous disposition, one that cannot be offended, toward mankind. Through His words, God reveals people’s nature and substance and the true state of their corruption. Only through accepting the words of judgment that Almighty God has expressed can we know our own arrogance, cunningness, selfishness, evil, etc., which are part of our satanic nature and corrupt dispositions. Only through accepting God’s judgment and chastisement can we know God’s righteous disposition and develop hearts that revere God and truly repent. Then we can attain transformation and cleansing of our corrupt disposition, which is the significance of God’s work of judgment and is also the only road to salvation. Sister En Hui, as long as we earnestly read as much of God’s word as we can, then the significance of God’s work of judgment of the last days will become clear to us and we’ll see that only Christ of the last days can give people eternal life.”

Praise the Lord! I gained an enormous amount from communicating with the sisters. Even though I’ve yet to experience God’s judgment and chastisement, through fellowshiping with them and from reading Testimonies of Experiences in Entry Into Life I felt that God’s judgment and chastisement really can change people. I felt I too really need a stage of God’s judgment and chastisement to transform and purify me so that I will qualify for being taken into the kingdom of heaven. At a later date, after a few more days of fellowshiping, I came to understand more about God’s work of judgment and the truth concerning God’s name. I also learned how to discern the real Christ from the fakes, and real churches from false ones. I learned truths about God’s incarnation, the difference between God’s work and human work, how Satan corrupts mankind, and how God saves us. And so on. I came to the firm conclusion that Almighty God really is the returned Lord Jesus, and with a happy heart I accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days. Praise God! After that I had an unquenchable thirst for reading the words of God. By living a church life, fellowshiping truths with the brothers and sisters, and accepting the watering and feeding of God’s words I felt that my spirit was gaining true sustenance. All I saw was like this prophecy in the Book of Revelation in the Bible: “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me” (Rev 3:20). Today, not only have I seen this prophecy fulfilled but I’ve felt it being fulfilled on me personally. The words of Almighty God have knocked open my heart’s door and allowed me to hear the voice of God, know God’s work of judgment, and return before Him. Praise to God! All glory to Almighty God!

#The Church of Almighty God #Jesus return #Almighty God #Lord Jesus #Praise God

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danjaleyreblogs · 7 years

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List-Enabling and Fixing Posepacks - Tips&Tricks

Some know-how I’ve accumulated as a storyteller who can’t work without the ingame poselist. This tutorial is intended to help users and creators alike to optimize posepacks.

! If you tweak another creator’s work, always respect their tou !

1. Making Thumbnails and Poses List-Compatible

See Phantomhive’s tutorial for a detailed explanation how to do this. The Posepack Creator can now be downloaded in the Poseplayer’s MTS thread.

For making thumbnails, I found it easiest to crop my screenshots to a square format and then resize them to 59x60 (60x60 works just as well btw, but don’t make them much larger, or they’ll look awful in poselist view.)

Always give your thumbnails unique names as described by Phantomhive. Otherwise they’ll overwrite each other, and other creators’ thumbnails, in poselist-view.

I use a photoshop action that automatically flattens and resizes an image to pose-thumbnail format. You can download it here, but I don’t know if it will work outside my somewhat eccentric photoshop setup. (It comes with a thumbnail to be installed as an effect in Adobe Photoshop Elements 4, if anyone is crazy enough to use that :)

Advanced Tipp: After you’ve saved your list-compatible posepack, open it in S3PE, and drag-and-drop (import) your CLIP-files from the working folder into it again. They’ll overwrite themselves, but now they display their codes in the ‘Name’ column. Doesn’t change any functionality, but may come in handy. BTW, as long as you don’t change the codes, you can always drag and drop updated CLIPs into a list-compatible posepack without having to make it list-compatible again.

2. Making Already Packaged Poses List-Compatible

Only do this for personal use, unless you know the creator is okay with it!

Open the package in S3PE. You should see the CLIP-resources with their posecodes. (If you don’t see posecodes, continue with Step 2a!) Select the CLIPs and export them “to file”. Save them to your working folder without renaming them. The posecode will appear towards the end of the filename.

Now you need preview pictures of the poses to make thumbnails from. Usually the creator provides some, but you can also view the pose ingame or in Blender (more on that later). From here continue as in Step 1.

2a. CLIPs without Codes

So the CLIPs are unnamed and you want to retrieve the original posecodes?

Go through the CLIPs one by one. Don’t click on the headlines (’Name’, ‘Tag’, Group’ etc.) during the process, so they won’t re-sort. Select the first CLIP. Then click the “Hex” button at the bottom of the S3PE window. A box with number-cereal will appear. Scroll through it slowly, until you see the posecode somewhere. Parts of it usually appear in the emptier column to the right, but may be badly chopped apart. Also note that it appears twice. (Can’t find the code, or aren’t sure it’s correct? See step 2b)

Write the reconstructed code down somewhere (leaving out the .blender file extension). Now close the Hex-window, right-click the CLIP you just selected and do “Export and rename”. Enter the posecode when you’re prompted to give the CLIP a ‘new’ name. You could actually just give any new codes to all the CLIPs, but then you’d have to check in Blender which is which.

Do this for all the CLIPs one by one, then continue as described in step 1.+2.

2b. Finding out Posecodes and Previewing in Blender

For this you’ll need Blender and Sims posing rigs set up according to instructions (or of course pets rigs if you’re viewing pet poses).

If you’re still struggling to find out that CLIP’s code: Do “Export and Rename” in S3PE and enter a temporary code. “a_1″ should be sufficient. You can also export it without renaming, but then you’ll have to remember which CLIP is which.

Open the Sim rig most likely to match your poses - normally an adult human one. Nothing bad will happen if you pick the wrong one, the rig will just look distorted.

In the sidebar (under “Scene” tab) scroll down to the S3PY Animation Tools. Click “Load CLIP” open the CLIP you want to examine.

Now the pose is displayed in 3D view, and the code appears in the sidebar (you may have to scroll down again to see it)

With the retrieved code, continue as described above. If the code still looks weird (I think this happens mostly with Milkshape-made poses), just go back to S3PE and export&rename with a new code. Now you know what the pose looks like, you might also be able to find the original code on the creator’s site.

3. Fixing Problems in Already Listed Posepacks

Some of the S3PE functions in this part may have come with extensions - I'm not quite sure which ones, if any, but I recommend checking out S3PE’s homepage .

For me, the paint-integration only works with the latest version of S3pe found here (other location than the one linked on the homepage). You can also get the functionality by setting Paint as an external text editor in S3pe. Under “Settings -> External Programs”, check “Use an external text editor” and browse for Paint’s .exe in your program files. Now when you right-click an IMAG resource, the option “Text Editor” should open it in Paint.

Reading and editing the XML: In the package right-click the XML, and select “Notepad”. You can edit descriptions there (very useful if you made a typo in a posepack you want to share) Don’t change anything of the technical stuff inside <brackets>. The XML also gives the creator’s name in most cases - don’t edit this unless you are the creator, but it can be useful for finding the download site again. In theory you could also add your own descriptions if the creator only put placeholders, but it’s quite an effort to tell which pose is which.

By the way: The XML can be viewed much more comfortably if you export it and open it with your web-browser, but in that mode it can’t be edited. Probably it’s also easier to edit with dedicated XML editors, but I’m not so much into programming.

Thumbnail too large or wrong format: This doesn’t affect functionality, but I find oversized thumbnails difficult to preview in S3PE and Poselist. Right-click the IMAG resource in the package. Select “Paint”. The thumbnail will open in Microsoft Paint.

Box-select as square an area as you can manage, then right-click and choose “crop”. Resize the images to something like thumbnail format (a few pixels don’t matter - I’m actually too lazy to uncheck “maintain proportions”). Take care though that no side becomes significantly smaller than 60px. Close Paint (Click “Save” and “Yes” on the two pop-ups”). Back in the package the thumbnail is now replaced with a resized version. Repeat with all other thumbnails and save the package.

Thumbnail not showing up at all: Sometimes IMAG resources get corrupted and S3PE shows an error message instead of the picture. In this case, prepare a substitute thumbnail in .png format (ideally using an image of the pose in question), and save it to your working-folder. Right-click the faulty IMAG, ‘Replace’ and select the new thumbnail. Alternatively, pretend to export the faulty IMAG ‘to file’, but in the last step, where Windows asks you to save, copy the suggested filename with Cntrl+C and cancel. Then paste the filename onto your substitute thumbnail and drag-and-drop it into the package. It should overwrite the faulty one.

Thumbnail incorrectly named: This usually comes up ingame, when thumbnails start overwriting each other. Fixing this requires some concentration, especially with large posepacks. It can be very helpful to first export the XML and have it open in a web-browser for reference.

First rename the IMAG’s instance: Double-click the IMAG resource. Tick “Use resource name”, type in a unique thumbnail name, click first FNV64 and then OK. The IMAG should now display its name in the “Name” column.

Now link to the new IMAG name. Open the XML in Notepad as described above. Find the place where this thumbnail’s previous name is displayed between <Icon Key> and </Icon Key>. Replace it with the new name. Save and exit Notepad, save the package and test it ingame. If you’ve linked the thumbnails incorrectly, they won’t show up. Note down which ones are missing and repeat the renaming process on those.

#tutorial #own tutorial

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carolynboucharddesign · 7 years

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This is the first of a series of 12 pieces of a personal project I will be working on over 2017. I’m calling the project “Body Text”, and will use stitched lettering to explore our complicated relationship to our clothing. Follow along on my instagram and/or tumblr blog, and I hope you enjoy!

The topic of my first piece is sashiko stitching. I felt that this was a perfect topic to kick off my project with, as there is not only a lot to work with visually, but the idea behind it resonates with me personally as well.

Sashiko was originally used by Japanese peasants to reinforce and winterize their clothing. The small running stitches would reinforce stress points, and repair worn places or tears. Seamwork.com has a good short history on it. It originated in the rural north of Japan, where it was too cold to grow cotton. Industrialized fabric production didn’t reach Japan until the 1870’s, and even then, it was very expensive. Therefore, cloth was mostly made by hand, and represented a huge amount of labor. Not wanting to waste any scraps, sashiko stitching enabled old fabric to be pieced together, and greatly extended the life of the cloth. It became a decorative thing as well as a functional one, with it’s own technique and designs.

Conceptually, what I like about sashiko is the idea of embracing the flawed or imperfect. Patches and wear are not hidden, but made their own thing, more beautiful. I think this is a good metaphor for how to live life- acceptance of change and fate as aspects of human life. It’s interesting to me because clothes are often worn as a shield, or a mask- they project an image of how we would like to be seen. And this is often a good thing- you don’t wear the same thing to a job interview as you would wear around the house, because you want your potential boss to know that you will take the job seriously and be professional. If you go to a party, it helps make an exciting atmosphere if the guests dress in special outfits. However, I think that this idea can be taken too far; with clothing so cheap, it can become a substitute for real interests and personality.

I am trying to now repair my clothing rather than buy new, and embrace the wear. I think it is important to let the mask down a little, and hopefully by appearing a more vulnerable, let others know that it’s ok to as well.

The words on the back are based off of the idea that nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.

Technique:

Sashiko was originally done in white thread on indigo fabric, and is geometric, with the pattern based on a grid. The traditional patterns are really beautiful, and look like abstracted hills, clouds, or waves. Here is a pinboard I made of some that I liked. Looking at them, I wonder if the different designs were influenced by the nature surrounding the places they originated from? I tried to keep this in mind when figuring out my own design.

Sashiko is relatively easy, but there are a few rules. I couldn’t adhere to all of them for this project, and what I’ve made isn’t super authentic- but then, traditional sashiko didn’t incorporate lettering. I just used it as a jumping off point. Most of the rules are about what should happen when the thread lines intersect, and usually, they just shouldn’t cross. Stitches should end at the turn of a corner, and intersections should be open. Here is a good run-down of the rules. I realized while doing this why those rules are in place- leaving a little space where the threads cross really creates a nice design when the piece is finished. I mostly got that right, except for a few areas on the “clouds” in the center, especially where I had different types of patterns intersecting.

Lessons Learned:

I discovered a pretty amazing product for this project- Sulky Solvy. I’ve used water soluble interfacing in the past, but never a water soluble stabilizer. This stuff worked perfectly to transfer my complicated design, as it is transparent, and I could trace my design directly on it. I tried seamstress chalk first, and it was a total failure. My usual method of drawing straight on the fabric with a chalk pencil didn’t work for this, either, as it was based on such a specific grid. The Sulky Solvy was perfect for this project, especially since denim and sashiko thread are made to stand up to washings! I was also surprised with how well it took all the drawing, stitching, and general manhandling I subjected it to. I’d highly recommend trying it.

I have a few things I would change about the lettering. After I’d already started and there was no turning back, I received 2 books I ordered about lettering: “Lettering Charts for Students and Artists” by Phyllis Brown, and “In Progress” by Jessica Hische. With my first reading of these excellent books, I realized there were some spacing and letterform things that I could have done better. In this project, it’s not such a huge deal because the letters are so tactile, but in the future, I think I can do better on the technical aspects of lettering.

Final photographs are by Haroon Bhatti of Pomade.

#body text #stitched lettering #lettering #handlettering #sashiko

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charles195 · 7 years

Text

This Body Is Yours (Ch. 1)

Fandom: Yuuri!!! On Ice

Summary: Destiny? Fate? Soulmates? Reincarnation without the death? Otabek mostly thought it was troublesome. They were individuals that had their own aspirations and goals to achieve, and having their souls intertwined by some unexplored metaphysical bond was taking a toll on the both of them.

Pairing: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky

Characters: Otabek Altin, Mila Babichieva, Yakov Feltsman, Victor Nikiforov, Yuri Plisetsky, Georgi Popovich, (later) Unimportant OCs

Warnings: Body-Swap, Body Insecurities

Words: 4.6k+

There were clothes littered all over the floor: black tights, leopard print jackets, jeans, hoodies, figure skating outfits long outgrown. They were laying right where Yuri had taken them off. That, or kicked away when Yuri needed a particular clothing item to put on. Yuri never noticed how quickly the floor disappeared between laundry days until he found the sickly shade of green that had been hiding from him all this time.

He never mulled over miniscule details like the color of his carpet. It was as useless as learning a language he didn’t need and as productive as braiding his hair. Extraneous efforts weren’t his specialty. That was why he didn’t care about the color of his carpet and why there were clothes littered all over the floor… on a normal day… because...

… There aren’t clothes littered all over the floor. Though, that didn’t necessarily mean Yuri cared about the color of his carpet now; he was just surprised at how bare his room looked when the carpet wasn’t covered.

What matters is the inconvenience this discovery brought. His clothes weren’t stuffed under the bed or swept to the side or organized into piles that Yuri could pick and choose from in an instant. They were out of sight and Yuri felt like he was going out of his own mind. What really matters is his shoes, though. He could be naked for all he cared as long as he had his ice skates and pointe shoes, but he didn’t know where to look for them because all he could focus on was the sea of bile-green all around him.

He had been panicking for an entire five minutes, apparently, because he had to shut off his phone’s alarm clock once and for all before he finally peeked into his dresser. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt that his top drawer was heavier than usual. It was packed with all the clothes he would need for practice: black shirts, black tights, and black socks. The second drawer had all of his tops. The third one had his bottoms and socks and underwear. Fourth had the jackets and hoodies. Everything was folded neatly and stacked efficiently.

“Who the hell has been touching my shit?” he grumbled to himself. The only one who had permission to move anything around was his precious cat Yulia, who did as she pleased anyway. His grandpa never touched any of his possessions, even when he was gone for months during skating season. It had to be one of his annoying rinkmates. How they snuck in, Yuri may never know, but they were going to pay the price later.

He slid open his closet door to assess the damage. All of his figure skating costumes were hung proudly, organized by year, with the corresponding medals and awards proudly displayed on the shelf above the clothes. “This prank is too weird…” To the side, all of his shoes were lined up against the wall by type. Regular sneakers were in one row, ballet shoes were in another, and all of his skates and the single pair of high heels that he owned were in the last row. “Shit, I have to explain the heels, don’t I?”

He left his closet and collapsed back onto his bed. He still had a lot of time before he needed to get ready for the day. He budgeted a full ten minutes (technically eight minutes so he wouldn’t be late to getting ready, even though he also budgeted an extra five minutes to give him enough time to get ready) dedicated solely to lazing around in bed right after he woke up. Right now, he had six minutes to burn (technically four) and he wished he had more so he could go back to sleep. Or, better yet, if time would reverse itself so he could re-live the same dream.

He flipped onto his back and let his bangs fall over his eyes. The gaps of sunlight peering in through the blinds hurt, burning past his eyelids until all Yuri could see was amber. He covered his face with a hand. This morning felt ethereal. Not like he felt violated or out of place, but more like he resented being awake.

He was someone else entirely when he dreamt.

Victor was knocking on the door. He, at least, had the courtesy to warn Yuri about his arrival through text even if he ignored Yuri’s insistence that Victor’s visit, nay, his existence was unnecessary. Yuri thought about just not answering the door and sneaking out of his window to avoid Victor altogether, but if he didn’t answer, then Victor would keep knocking forever, and that would wake up his grandpa.

“Dobroye utro, kotyonok!” Victor greeted cheerfully.

Yuri glared at him. The morning was not good and he refused to identify as a kitten. “Did you touch my stuff?”

“Did the silly kitty lose something?”

Yuri slapped Victor’s hand away when he tried to caress his cheek. “Never mind, it’s nothing.” He dropped the subject. Victor looked like he was truly unaware of the state that Yuri’s room was in. Victor would’ve made some smug remark about how he didn’t want the Ice Kitten of Russia to get lost in such a messy room, or something equally annoying.

Victor pouted and crossed his arms, exaggerating the offense he took. “Ah, what happened? You were so much cuter, yesterday. It scared me so much that I came to drive you to the rink today in case you weren’t feeling well.” He hugged Yuri against his will. “The throes of puberty must be hitting you so! My little Yuratchka is growing up too fast!”

The more Yuri struggled, the tighter Victor’s arms were around his body. “What are you talking about, old man? Are you getting Alzheimer's already?”

Victor gasped and suddenly stopped hugging Yuri. “Yura, you don’t know about it?”

Yuri wanted to say that yesterday was just as normal as the day before yesterday, but he had no recollection of yesterday. All he could remember was the strange dream he had last night. “What are you keeping from me?” In a moment of weakness, he leaned towards Victor. He didn’t even know what the big question hovering around him like a boa constrictor was, but he felt like he would suffocate without an answer. Reluctantly, he let Victor tuck his bangs behind his ear so that Victor could gaze fondly at his full face.

“I’ll tell you in the car, okay?”

Getting into Victor’s car was a mistake. Yuri only realized that as soon as it was too late to get out; Victor had started the car and sped off as soon as possible. He hastily buckled in his seatbelt and prayed. His stomach dropped when he glanced at the speedometer. “Victor, the speed limit in residential areas is not 100 kilometers per hours.”

“I’ll teach you how to drive later, Yura,” Victor promised.

That was one promise that Yuri was fine with Victor forgetting about.

“You deserve to know the truth about what’s happening to you… Tell me, what do you think about your body?”

Unconsciously, Yuri rubbed his thighs nervously. He remembered that there was no pain in dreams, so he pinched himself experimentally. He was definitely awake. Not that that was the issue, because even in his dreams, he wouldn’t open up to Victor about a topic so personal. “You pervert. Is this a sex talk?”

“I understand if you’re not ready, but just know one thing: your body is yours and nobody else’s.”

Yuri stayed silent for the rest of the car ride. Stupid Victor. How can you be so sure of yourself?

The familiar sensation of cold air rushed into Yuri’s face as soon as he entered the ice rink. It stirred about him until the heavy door slammed behind him. How he longed to give away all of his weight to the smooth surface of ice below him. It was as easy as lacing up his skates and dashing into the rink. He wouldn’t dare set foot on the ice without stretching, first, and by the time he was done stretching, his ballet class would already be starting and he would be yelled at for trying to ditch again.

Yuri headed towards the dance studio immediately so he could get a head start on his stretching and have extra free time to practice jumps. He would be the first one there because of how unusually early he was. Usually, he was one of the last ones to arrive because he purposely took his time walking to procrastinate his most dreaded block of his schedule: off-ice training.

Attending ballet class with the other junior-level skaters was annoying. It was all repetitive exercises and technique work and across the floors. God, those three words haunted him in his nightmares, sometimes. And worse, he was the only boy in a class of girls because a prodigy like him shouldn’t be limited by his gender, or something. Yuri didn’t like focusing on the implications of his placement. He would’ve suffered in either class. Mila was often a substitute instructor for the female class and Georgi likewise for the male. Both were annoyingly obsessed over their significant other 24/7, but at least Mila didn’t fight with her boyfriend over the phone during class.

Yuri already had a clear image of how his off-ice training block would go. He would forcefully jiggle the doorknob until the mechanisms loosened enough to unlock (thanks to years of Yuri impatiently harassing it), turn on the heater, check his social media while he stretched, and work on jumps before the class officially started. He had already perfected the art of ignoring his classmates while he was stretching, to the point where they learned not to bother socializing with him.

But leave it to Victor to disrupt his plan. “Dobroye utro, Yakov! Will you let Yura train with the senior skaters, today?”

The casual request was supposed to be met with a glare and interrogation, but this time, Victor’s optimism was well-placed. Yakov considered the request while he stared down Yuri. Yuri instinctively took a step back when Yakov approached him. The coach’s eyes squinted like there was something off, something new that he hadn’t noticed before. He crossed his arms and stubbornly looked to the side. “This time, I will allow it, as a reward for your good behavior yesterday. This is no act of altruism, boy. Perhaps inspiration from some role models might reverse the horrid degradation of your ballet skills.”

Yuri stared blankly at his coach. “What the hell are you saying, old man?”

“Are you forgetting how to understand your own language, too? I’ll assign you a new tutor if you don’t brush up on a dictionary soon!”

He was dragged away to the senior skaters’ dance studio by Victor before he could defend himself. His day was getting stranger and stranger with each new block in his schedule, and it had something to do with his behavior from yesterday. He might know more if he simply pulled Victor aside and straight-up asked how he behaved yesterday. That was assuming Victor wouldn’t go off on a spiel about the significance of consent in romantic relationships (which was still important but not relevant in this circumstance). Adding the event of investigating the mystery would make his day longer, though, and the mystery was already draining Yuri as it was.

Yuri took great pride in his belief in consequentialism. If going against his routine and adding quads didn’t cost him a gold medal, then he shouldn’t be yelled at for it. Likewise, if he was reaping rewards from yesterday despite not remembering what quite happened, then he shouldn’t worry about it. The past couldn’t be changed. If it could be, he would’ve gladly changed it so that he won gold at every competition he had ever competed in, no matter how many tries it took.

He followed Victor to the senior skater’s dance studio without any further fusses and turned off his phone. He wouldn’t need any alarms to keep him on track with his long, immaculate schedule for the rest of the day. He had stepped into an alternative version of what his day could be in another universe, led by Victor and spurred on by some amalgamation of anomalies that had accidentally accumulated without his knowledge. Apparently, a clean room, introduction lecture to puberty, and damaged reputation was the secret cheat code that unlocked the world of senior skaters.

Yuri stepped up the stairs behind Victor. The staircase was pitch-black beyond its initial entrance. He had only been on the second floor of the ice rink a few times, which was experience he was grateful for, otherwise he would have been concerned by the darkness swallowing him. Abandon all hope, all ye who enter, the old stairs creaked to him. The second floor of the ice rink was exclusive, literally and figuratively above the skaters who weren’t in the senior division, yet. The senior skaters called the second floor of the ice rink their home and where they slept and ate and showered their house. The ice was for all who were willing to pay a certain fee (monetary, mind you; families and lovers still skated on the rink when it wasn’t reserved), but the second floor was for those who could afford to keep paying. (With money, still. Competitive figure skating is just really expensive.)

Yuri was always a mere visitor when he used to stomp up the stairs to demand something from one of the senior skaters. Indeed, the second floor was a nice place to visit, but not a great place to stay because of how pesky he thought the senior skaters were. However, that was not to say any senior skater could claim the second floor as their home. The senior skaters weren’t significant in their rank as seniors, but as award-winners. Yuri was basically in their clique, already, and belonged on the second floor, already, but the female ballet class for junior skaters was on the first floor and Yakov would ban him from the ice if he didn’t attend.

It was then that Yuri discovered that he had no clue how the senior skaters’ off-ice practice went or how long it lasted. Of course he wasn’t scared or nervous about training alongside the senior skaters. It was just dark as hell, especially since there was an ugly curtain hiding the light of the second floor’s hallway at the top of the stairs.

“Oops! I forgot!” Victor suddenly exclaimed.

Yuri froze and waited for another weird thing to occur. Maybe he had to give Victor a coin he was supposed to get before he entered the rink to compensate for Victor’s guidance, and if he didn’t, he would have to aimlessly wander around in the dark staircase for a hundred years.

Victor quickly dashed to the very top of the stairs and flipped the switch. And Victor said, “Let there be light!” and there was light. Dim, yellow fluorescent light from a lightbulb that was at the end of its lifespan, but light, nonetheless. “Wouldn’t want you to trip on your first day training with us.”

Yuri flinched at the immediate downpour of clarity. He had no clue the stairs had light. Nobody else had ever used the lights, before. It seemed that they all knew each step by heart. “I think I like your face better with the lights off.” He continued his tread up the stairs. There were a lot less steps than he thought there were. He remembered the journey to the second floor being much more arduous, but that could have been because he was much smaller, back then.

Victor smiled down at him. “Did you know that approximately a thousand people die of falling down the stairs every year?”

“Shut up.”

The switch flicked off. “The percentage seems small, but I can make sure that there’s a 100% chance that you’ll be another name on that list…”

Yuri clung to the railing. He didn’t doubt that Victor would try to grab him in the dark to enhance the joke. “Victor, you idiot! Turn on the lights!”

The switch flicked on again. “Just kidding!”

Yuri had the mind to turn around and never look back as he marched towards the female junior skaters’ dance studio, because that was the easy route. It would have been consistent with his values, yet also a defiant act of injustice to his own personality. Victor’s death threat was an intimidation tactic and Yuri wasn’t afraid of Victor. Continuing up the stairs with the lights on surely had to be the right route for Yuri, otherwise he would reject a world he fit better in. He couldn’t return to his dull, albeit safe, reality because that would hurt his pride in the present and future.

Another part of Yuri’s brain said that he was overthinking his dilemma about the stairs. Victor always annoyed Yuri, and this was nothing new. Really, he was analyzing everything out of proportion. So he went up the stairs, followed Victor to the dance studio, and tossed his duffel bag to the side.

The senior skaters’ dance studio was designed similarly to the studios downstairs. The walls all had mirrors, obviously, and the floor was the same shiny hardwood. Mila and Georgi were already there. They took pride in the professionality and always preferred to be early. Their attention was drawn away from their phones as soon as Yuri entered the room.

Mila’s face lit up like a Christmas light. “Yuri! Can I braid your hair again?”

Again?

“I can do your makeup,” Georgi offered.

Yuri flipped them off and headed towards the farthest corner away from them. No more bullshit. He sat down and started with the butterfly stretch so he could open up his hips.

Georgi chuckled at the typical Yuri Plisetsky reaction. “Looks like he’s back to normal.”

Mila huffed and put her hands on her hips. “That’s so unfair! He was such a good boy yesterday! No mouthing off, no rude gestures, no disobedience…”

Yuri was starting to hate that word a lot. Yesterday. He took a deep inhale and leaned forward until he rested his cheek on the floor.

“No talent,” Georgi added.

Yuri also hated that the stupid senior skaters talked about him like he was deaf. If they were so early, they should be doing something more productive than talking shit behind his back within his obvious range of hearing. It didn’t even feel like they were talking about him, though. Yesterday’s Yuri sounded like they were talking about someone else entirely. He got up from his stretch and then laid his legs out straight in front of him, then bent over until his forehead was on his knees. With every exhale, he sank deeper into the stretch.

Victor came to his defense. “That’s not true! He just had a different style yesterday. He was even landing all of his quads consistently, even though he’s still not supposed to be doing them.”

“Come to think of it, that style reminded me of someone else,” Mila pondered. “It was very strong and bold...”

“Masculine,” Georgi agreed. He didn’t forget that Yuri was in the room. “Oy, Yuri, are you trying skate like someone else, now?”

Yuri was standing up and taking a deep lunge with his left leg in front of him. “Shut up! Let me stretch in peace!” He lost his patience and settled into a left splits as soon as his muscles felt adequately warmed up enough. He was satisfied when he was flat on the floor. Because he had to make his stretches “symmetrical”, he repeated the same process with his right side.

Victor was busy uploading a picture of Yuri stretching to Snapchat with the caption, Yakov finally let the Ice Kitten train with the big kids today! He thanked God (well, Yakov) for the ice rink’s incredibly fast and free Wi-Fi. “Yuri’s new role model is a lucky guy. I wish up-and-coming skaters would imitate me for inspiration…” In seconds, Victor’s lament quickly transitioned into excitement. “Hey, Yuri, let me be your teacher today! Call me ‘Vitya’ and get as much help from me as you need!”

Everyone was so focused on Yuri being “back to normal” that Victor’s recent strange behavior had gone under the radar. Victor had a strong contribution in the unusual day. Sex talk, death threat, and now a sudden interest in teaching. And all the strangeness seemed to be revolving around Yuri, for some reason. “What the hell? Are you horny, Victor?”

Georgi coughed out water that he had been drinking. Mila burst out into a loud, uncontrollable cackle.

The accusation confused Victor. “Why? Are you?”

“You keep trying to assert your dominance over me, idiot,” Yuri explained. First as a father figure, then as a psychopath, and now as a mentor.

Mila sought the bar lining the walls for better balance. “He’s fourteen, Victor! Control yourself!”

Georgi looked at Yuri skeptically. “Is that your go-to assumption, Yuri? You said the same thing when I was sad over a fight I had with Anya and when Mila hugged you after she broke up with her boyfriend.” Though, he did acknowledge that Yuri was onto something. “Wait, does that mean you feel lonely, Victor?”

Victor laughed even though he looked sad. “I would hope not. Doesn’t that seem too expected from someone like me?”

Yuri recognized that smile of his. It was the same one he had while he was standing on the podium when he won his latest gold medal. He had no idea what made Victor smile like that.

The conversation ended there when Yakov walked into the studio. “Why is the junior skater the only one stretching?”

Suddenly, the senior skaters were all off their phones and stretching.

The senior skaters’ off-ice training was infinitely more lax than the juniors’. It was mostly independent work with occasional critique from Yakov when he checked up on them since the coach was busy teaching a novice class. Each skater had claimed their own space to practice in, focused only on their own development.

Yuri was practicing jumps as soon as he was done stretching. He spun and twirled and jumped until he worked up a great deal of sweat. He leaned on a wall railing and eagerly chugged water between gasps of air. All the while, his eyes couldn’t leave his reflection. He kept staring long after his heart rate slowed down. He looked his lithe form up and down, then raised his leg behind his back so he could grab the back of his foot. He lifted his standing leg en pointe and reached his free hand towards the mirror. His fingers stretched longingly until he touched his reflection.

“This body is very light…” he said to himself. His body was ideal for a danseuse. If he wasn’t a figure skater, he surely would have been a prima ballerina. There was little else he could be, unless he decided that being hungry and homeless was appealing. It was his career that kept his family comfortable, his body…

He saw Victor come up behind him and push the knee of his raised leg forward, until it was fully straight. There weren’t many opportunities to sneak up behind someone in a room with mirrors lining the walls from top to bottom, unless the victim was extremely unaware.

“You said the same thing, yesterday. Tell me, what else would your body be other than light?”

Yuri flattened his foot, which deepened the position he was in so that his straight legs were exceeding 180 degrees. He couldn’t maintain the position for long en pointe, but he could stretch much farther with a flat foot. “I don’t know, maybe heavy?” Yuri proposed sarcastically. He continued that idea, though. “Heavy with muscles, I guess, like a bodybuilder. I wouldn’t want to take away my flexibility, though.”

Victor pushed Yuri’s leg farther. “You certainly have been fascinated with your own flexibility, as of late.” He rubbed Yuri’s calf. “I don’t blame you.”

In a moment of vulnerability, Yuri found the action comforting rather than creepy. He leaned forward more and wrapped his free hand around the railing so he could pull himself a little more deeper into the stretch. The position was still too comfortable for him. “Maybe that’s what I’ll be in my next life--some tough guy with muscles that does figure skating.”

Victor was getting scared of Yuri’s bones snapping in half, so he kept holding up Yuri’s leg and put a hand under Yuri’s chest, just in case. To his amazement, Yuri still managed to stretch farther. “You still want to figure skate in another life?”

“What else could I do?” Yuri responded, like there was no other life out there.

“Bodybuilding?” Yuri rolled his eyes at him through the mirror. Victor took it that Yuri had no real interest in such an activity other than for aesthetic purposes. “Okay, you can figure skate in all nine of your lives, kotyonok. I’m just surprised you believe in reincarnation.”

“Push more, Victor.” Yuri’s muscles were starting to burn, but it wasn’t enough. Victor only moved a centimeter, if at all. “I said more!” His legs may have been shaking a little, but it still wasn’t enough. He used his free hand to grab the back of his raised foot and gave some of his weight to Victor’s hand, which was holding his chest up.

The demand caught a brief glance from Mila.

Victor’s arms were starting to get tired. “Why don’t you call me ‘Vitya’ again?”

The only reason why Yuri complied with that stupid request was because it made sense to follow the unorthodox rhythm he was already plagued with and he couldn’t stretch farther without a partner to help him. It surely wasn’t because of some hidden quality as frivolous as affection deep within his heart, which fluttered involuntarily and not for anyone else. “Vitya, more--”

Victor had jerked away so suddenly that Yuri panicked and lost his balance because of his aching muscles. Yuri released his leg, which ended up kicking Victor’s face when he fell backwards. Victor quickly tried to compensate for his mistake by catching Yuri, but all he could do was break Yuri’s fall while he suffered the full brute force of landing on the hardwood floor plus Yuri’s weight.

Mila was able to Snapchat the entire moment, from “Vitya, more” to Yuri landing in Victor’s lap. She saved it to her phone before captioning it “that moment when partner stretching gets TOO intimate” and putting it on her story.

Yuri elbowed Victor in the gut and glared at him through the mirror. “Idiot! Why did you--HAH? Y-You’re bleeding!” Yuri scrambled off of Victor and wiped away the blood on his shoes. They were fairly new, too.

Victor’s hands were covering his nosebleed. Unbeknownst to the younger skater, being kicked in the face wasn’t the trigger, though it did exacerbate the situation. He had a stupid, blissful look on his face, regardless. “You’re still as cute as ever, kotyonok!”

“Useless old man!” Yuri cursed. He ran to the bathroom to get paper towels for Victor. “Just retire already!”

It was then that Yuri realized that he was destined to hate off-ice training no matter which group who was with. The females, the males, the seniors, the juniors--they all pissed him off.

I definitely want to skate as a tall, masculine guy in solitude when I get to my next life!

#kimi no na wa au #yuri!!! on ice #yoi #otayuri #otabek altin #yuri plisetsky #fanfic #this body is yours #chapter 1 #fun fact: i have about 4 chapters written out already #another fun fact: i need a beta

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