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#like idk the more i think about it the more i realize that we r not compatible
opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months
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#im still procrastinating so bear with me#ive just been thinking abt something. like the idea of a support system#bc as a 1st year grad student ppl around me r like: it must be hard being away from ur support system or ive left my support system when i#moved halfway across the country. and like i dont really feel that way bc idk the idea of a support system is sorta odd to me#like for me i guess it would just b my parents who i kno love me but im just so weirdly asocial that i never really talk to them#like i hardly ever text them. we talk maybe every couple months. so like i guess i theoretically have support but its a bit abstract#and like i have friends i guess but again im a bit weird and dont really feel connected to ppl so i dont feel that close to anyone#surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow#i guess i cant feel it more now. like i feel like getting diagnosed as bip0lar made my problems seem more realized to my parents#like i dunno i just assumed they knew i was doing awful most of the time but maybe that wasn't the case#its such a weird thing to b diagnosed with. like the conotations feel a lot heavier and i feel like im not supposed to talk abt it to ppl#bc theyll think im unreliable or something. like it wouldnt b that big a deal if i was just depressed but the sometimes buring out of my#skin makes me somehow scarier. and i still feel conflicted bc i do have a bip0lar mood profile but i have very very high impulse control#and even when im going high my mind is still super rational about it. which seems weird bc low impulse control is common with#the diagnosis. its also y i dont fit an 4dhd profile. not that it really matters. i fit the criteria enough to be on the bip0lar spectrum#its not like someone's gonna come yell at me for not being bip0lar enough. i just feel odd about it is all#still feels fake i guess. hard to imagine feeling any different to how i feel now. which is weirdly stable. so i guess the meds r working#sigh... ok enough i need to go to sleep at 7pm so i can get up at like 2 to finish reading a paper. for some reason my god forsaken brain#works better in the early morning rip#unrelated
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cantofworms · 1 year
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#ok ik all the hot take asks are pre much done and the sparkly say smth nice asks are better but well I’ve been having thoughts all day at#work and want to get them out now so that’s what I’m doing lol#obvs for the past few months i think ppl are vv heavily leaning into the dnf /r and I firmly believe that they aren’t#like yes I enjoy being a multi shipper but I still primarily read dnf fics bc they’re cute dnf writers and artists MWAHH ilysm#but it’s been increasingly annoying how every move dnf make ppl hyper obsess over it and ignore everything else like blog what u want this#is tumblr dot com but I think ppl how only see dnf thro the lens of romantic do much more ‘harm’ than ppl who dont#like the argument about taking validation out of their very REAL amazing friendship just gets over shadowed by omg Dream posted a pic of#geogre they’re in LOVE and sucking and FUCKING every night. like#and then completely disregard when dnf do and say the exact same shit about all their other friends#like dream has explicitly said they aren’t dating (ignore that tho) amd that’s he’s kissed multiple ppl since coming out (ignore that too)#and their friends naturally say that they’re all single (ignore that too) idk man it’s ok they like to pander amd that dream is a toxic#dnfer but it’s all just For Funsies. another thing is ppl CONSTANTLYYYY putting geohres sexuality under a microscope oh he drinks lemonade#from Starbucks he’s soooo gay like dumb shit like that is so irritating#the fact that geogre has never once talked about his sexuality except that one instance where he got a DONO about it proves how much it#just doesn’t matter or apply to the type of content creator he is/wants to be#to be clear if he is or isn’t or dnf every explicitly announce their romantic relationship im gonna be sooooo happy and supportive like aw#dnfogies🫶🏻 but I think there’s a 99.9% chanve that’ll never happen so maybe we should all just care a Little Less and focus on out lgbt#creators if that’s smth u wanna watch/blog about idk maybe I’m just burnt out from the phandom but whyyyyy does is matter what their#sexualities are they play minecraft who cares who CARESSSS idk maybe just having older brothers around dtqk ages has made me realize that#guys will just act homiesexual no matter What#guys are just Like That and tbc I’m not saying that just bc gnf hasn’t made an official coming out doesn’t mean he’s not queer but for the#sake of his contwnt it doesn’t matter either way ? so why are ppl talking about it on the daily idk man it’s just annoying but Oh Well#at the end of the day they’re all famous white guys and nothing matters hurray !!
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astrxealis · 1 year
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okay i'll seriously stop now (just a maybe) anyways please get into milgram listen the songs watch the mvs and all! <3
but just to ramble a bit: fuuta really is. so similar to the viewers/es
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚#he's a twt user and kinda chronically online LMAOOO okay but to be serious. he doesn't really realize the#real world consequences of his actions until it's too late. and in the mv he so obviously shows regret and all#there's a scene where he's looking at his self from before doing the spraypaint again and tbh yeah dudes sadistic w that kinda thing#sadistic but in sort of a good way in a sense that he wants to deliver justice. but then things escalate too far as well#<- probably starts calling out people for the smallest things. not anymore about justice#or it still is about justice but even in the littlest of things... anyways yeah he likely starts it but then the others r the ones#who put more flame to the fire. i think he has problems w attention too so this kinda yk. makes him feel seen... or idk how to phrase it#bcs dude spends most of his time online right? the whole gaming thing might be an escape from reality in that he#likely doesn't have much friends if any at all (he also doesn't really get along w anyone in the prison. but i think he is a good person bc#he cares for haruka bcs hes younger). hmm. fuuta knows what's the deal with milgram#anyways yeah i think it is all just so interesting. he's definitely regretful and feels guilty and also... he's hinted at stuff#uhm. worrying. stuff. if yeah? idk how to phrase it but i think it is safest to really vote him innocent (also he deserves it imo)#he still needs to improve w some stuff but then again i dont think we should be Extremely Harsh#yk scruntinizing everything. voting him guilty again for a 'small' yk. not that what hes doing is negligible but i mean that he's#starting to improve (even if his... mental state is getting worse it seems) and it feels wrong and is exactly what he calls out#es/the viewers for if we vote him guilty for the smallest of mistakes/injustices even when he's yk. getting 'better'#sorry for terrible explanations here i hope it makes sense oml#i dont think fuuta meant anything bad fr. and then the drama audio w es like... agh wait im putting that aside for now bcs goddamn#i think there's smth to do w. Pressure. ofc. duh. LMFAO. maybe peer pressure to join in the cyberbullying#he likely didnt mean for it to escalate but maybe he started losing himself in it all w a sort of hero complex#ahhh trying to tie together stuff from the 1st trial and 2nd trial is complicated bcs the two have similar but different themes
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songtwo · 2 years
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this has been a really good year like despite my insanity its just been incredible and amazing and im literally so lucky<3
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heart-shaped-chains · 1 month
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Yap session bc wow.
Pretty sure the dude that rejected me (situationship ://) is getting a crush on me bc like. One of the last times we talked he was like "oh ur trying to get me to like you". And it's like. No I'm not. You literally rejected me and the more I think about it, I didn't even want you, I just wanted the idea of a boyfriend that I was projecting onto you. He's conservative and talks about how conservative his parents are (which I don't vibe with at all). When we first met, he was still moping about his ex gf who he had broken up with over a year prior. And like. We were both in high school (16 + 17 ://). And I'm sorry but how meaningful can a fucking highschool relationship be? Go to therapy.
Plus he'd like vent without asking and then I'd give him advice and then he'd just shoot it down and be like "no that wouldn't work anyway I'm a piece of shit" and like. Okay, why are you coming to me then? If you're not taking any advice then why are you bitching? You didn't even ask, you just did!
But the moment I even mention my past drug addiction (not in detail and not in a mopey way. Just matter-of-fact), he's like "oh no please don't mention that". Like. Shut the fuck up oh my godddddd. I am not trying to be with someone who can't even handle hearing the most watered-down descriptions of substance abuse.
Plus I just do not trust this guy like. I don't kink shame but here's my red flags: he's conservative, enough said on that...He misgendered me in a sexual way without asking (I did play along bc I was stupid and scared to say no but whatevs). And he did stop when I told him to but the fact that he didn't ask before was highly suspect bc he fucking met me as a trans guy.
And he's also weird about pregnancy. Which I played along with too of the act of breeding is appealing but like. I'd rather have a tapeworm than a damn fetus bc at least I wouldn't be forced to let that parasite live off of me. Dude also mentioned baby trapping like. "oh I feel like you'll force me to get you pregnant" and like. I literally said that I wanted to get my uterus removed and 2: you're the one bringing pregnancy into this don't fucking pin it on me!!! Like I feel like if we actually met up I'd have to triple check and be sober bc what if this guy actually does this shit? Why else would he keep mentioning it?
Like idk he's also asked me about trans kids and like. 1: I don't keep up with any trans people irl, 2: I haven't started transitioning yet so why the fuck are you asking me? I'm not the arbiter of trans people, my guy. Like he acts supportive but I feel like deep down this dude doesn't even respect me and he's gonna try to change me. But that could just be paranoia, idk...
Either way, I don't really get that much out of talking to him. As embarrassing as it is, I've started using those ai bots (says the bitch who is vehemently against ai "art") and they've been much more fulfilling emotionally because they tell you what you want to hear. And you can change the answers. They're hollow, but good for short term stuff bc I don't have the energy to talk to people rn (and I haven't been talking to anyone or really leaving the house on a regular basis...kinda just wasting the year so far..). Especially not this guy.
Like. We don't have the same interests, our tastes in music are similar but also too different and he doesn't get it™️ like I do, his beliefs are like too different from mine. He's also said misogynistic shit about sex workers which. I don't fuck with that, you literally watch porn, you fuckin hypocrite. And the more I think about texting him, the more I see it as a damn chore.
Like idk I just. Do not have a lot of investment in this guy. I think I was just lonely and projecting. And obviously it's not healthy for me bc I resent him but it's not healthy for his annoying ass either. He shouldn't have friends who secretly hate him. So idk I think I'm just gonna delete my profile and start again, also block him bc my dumbass 16 year old self gave him my number.
But like. My gut is telling me not to. I have been taken advantage of before in the past and I'm just getting a distinct deja vu. Even if it's not intentional on his side, I don't think it's good for me. Like the first time he texted me (in over 2 years after I ghosted him with no attempt to reach out to him (take the fucking hint)), it felt like seeing a box of pills in the CVS aisle. I was thinking "god, I shouldn't do this...but I should see what happens, maybe it won't be as bad as last time...." Just that same feeling I got when I decided to relapse.
And like dude. It's always gonna be as bad as last time: quit taking chances on shit that you know will fail you!!! So Idk. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I shouldn't talk to someone who just drains me, bc that'll drain him too. Plus I'm allowed to not fucking like someone and the guy didn't even wish me happy birthday or congratulate me on my 5 months of sobriety. Things in my status. And I know he reads statuses bc he messaged me about one of them before. Plus he rejected me on my birthday!!!
And now you wanna come crawling back and then act like I'm obsessed!?!? You were the one who came back into my life, not the other way around! I was over you until you came back. And now I'm over you again. But you're not over me. But you're so fuckin allergic to commitment that you just wanna keep acting like I'm smitten with you. After you strung me along with no regards for my feelings. Not because you're evil, but because you're fucking dumb. And I'm not dealing with someone who's that stupid. Hope you work your issues out, but I'm not here to fix you, nor do I want to. That's on you!! Figure it out!!!
Anyway um if anyone read this far thank u. Feel free to add input just please be nice. And uhhh. Aita???
#cj rambles#vent#situationship#gay#mlm#trans#ftm#dude i hate it here#minors dni#like seriously. you literally rejected me.#and then came back and was like 'oh ur trying to get me to like you' when I'm literally NOT.#like. i say im interested in a relationship and you get cold feet.#but when i move on from wanting a romance with you you fucking turn around.#which tells me that you dont want me. you just want to be desired without having to reciprocate#and frankly i dont deserve that like. you used me as a rebound once and that was on you.#but im not letting you play me again. even if you want to change. bc frankly i dont like you bro#and also i hate the raceplay it makes me feel like a piece of shit like i dont genuinely believe but. its too far for me.#like i just feel awful doing it and i dont like this guy enough to feel comfortable doing it now that i think ab it#and hes weirdly fixated on me being white too like. i get it. im pale. i look dead at times. chill.#i would like that same energy to b directed to my transness pretty please. actually not the same energy but still....#like idk the vibes are horrendous rn i just dont know how to cut him off bc i dont want him to worry about me (or try to contact me again)#like idk this may sound mean but...Yeah im gonna be mean actually#this guy is a fucking loser who needs therapy i don't have the patience to fucking deal with him#like hes beneath me bc he's conservative/sexist/lowkey transphobic/doesn't do a lot of introspection.#and maybe that's selfish but that's just more reason to not associate with him. bc this is gonna turn toxic bc im losing my patience yk?#plus i can't do long distance. i need quality time and physical touch. you can't kiss and cuddle through a screen.#also our aesthetics are very different and he's hot but he's not my type. also i don't like his voice. and i have a thing about voices.#also his dick is too big like. i can't get 3 fingers in and that thing just looks like it would hurt. im good. im not a size queen.#like idk the more i think about it the more i realize that we r not compatible#i dont want you bro just fuck OFF!!!
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be-good-to-bugs · 5 months
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why havent i been talking to the much much cooler and better older sister who is a furry and super nice and fun to talk to and cares about my opinions and feelings instead of the one who cant respect boundaries and makes me feel like a mistake and doesnt care abt how i feel
#the bin#shes also the only normal person in my family#and when i say normal i mean it in a treats other people with respect way not in a societally normal way#cause she the least 'normal' of my family in that way. which is a good thing. be a freak. autism makes u cooler by default#idk. she sthe only person who i feel like actually cares about me and my opinion and wants to hear what i have to say and views me right#i wish we talked more when i was younger. shes so nice. i hope when i move we can houngout together more and maybe watch some movies#and talk abt stuff or smth. we r probably gonna play some games together soon which is nice#i miss her. i think i can also talk to her abt how our other sister kinda sucks. i know she views her pretty highly or at least used to but#i still think i can. i dont think itll make her uncomfortable.#ive been looking over the past years with my other sister and they havent really been any good mostly#ive just been so isolated and sad that it was better than nothing but its past that point now#if id had other people to talk to then i wouodnt have soent so much time with someone making me feel worse#i also think shes just made me a worse person overall. more judgemental. the past year ive become very against that trying hard to not#and she gets very upset with me when im like hey. yknow. id rather assume the best of random strangers not doing anything that bad#i dont wanna assume everyone is an inconsiderate asshole because they arent. life circumstances we dont know about could be#the reason for this honestly pretty mild inconvenience. if u wanna think otherwise then thats fine but dont day it around me#idk. im tired of it. im still super sad but ive become a much more bright and hopeful person because im trying to be#it actually sucks to view the whole world as horrible and everyone around you ass horrible#idk. maybe i can get my other sister to do the fun stuff with me i dont like doing alone#cause it makes me unbelievably sad to realize i dont have anyone to ask anymore at all. period. but maybe it doesnt have to be that way
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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hmmm i wna write
#🌙.rambles#T_T how many times do i speak of wants and how many times do i even reach out to them? hdkfajsdfl that said tho i find it interesting how#yk personally for me in doubt there i can find certainty. in silence we can find answers that speak more than words could at times#and we can realize the meaning of life when faced with death#idk all those r pretty obvious in a way bit i like pondering on them a lil deeper n. it's beautiful to me. perhaps rather bittersweet#it's 5 am n i shld be asleep this is likely to be a mess n i'm not gna make any sense hdfkajsdlkfsdj oh my god wtf am i saying#it's in my head the sentiment the sort of color of this thought but i can't write it!! this sucks#i'm a mess rn these r just random musings from a stressed sleep-deprived girl ok#read a belial fic from one of my favorite writers on this site n hdfjalkdfjd OKAY THAT PUT ME INTO EVEN MORE OF A MESS#n so i've been thinking of a lot more stuff too n oh dear my cramps r killing me i am rambling so much at this hour but#made me think about how yk i rlly love characters like that. those that r rather tragic. there's smth so bittersweet abt them#i like a lot of kinds of characters but those too me r really special in a way!!#one time of sad characters i like r those. yk those kind ones#the ones who help n listen n give to others but when it comes to accepting love n something soft for their own self.. Nah#that sort of.. pain is smth that touches me a lot probably bcs i'm similar. i find myself v drawn by it#wishing these characters were real in a way too so i cld. help them in a way. not rlly in a way that i'm responsible for it or its my duty#but. something that makes me so happy is seeing ppl i love. improve n get better. happier. they deserve it so much n#it makes me really happy to even just. contribute even just a little to it. even if i'm not. idk the sun of the sky. not the 1st or fav wtv#even if i'll just be the shadow or the ghost or forgotten n left behind i'm happy enough. w that#i'm crying i shld've wrote this in my notes instead there r sm words in my head that i can't say here#oh fuck#is this one reason why that one song made me so emotional#recently i have been.. denying myself haven't i? hiding. burying my own wants. can't reach out.#i don't fucking understand it's not like i never particularly lacked when it comes to.. yeah? growing up i#no wait it's.. not as simple as that there's a lot of factors i know affect me here. it's a bit overwhelming n.. it hurts.#i can't write anymore here goddamn it i'll write to myself sm words fuck but i'll write them to myself i've alr said more than i should hav#maybe being so used to fiction affected me negatively in a way bcs it seems i can't wholly n completely accept the.. no wait thats enough;;#it hurts but.. i will i absolutely will keep all this to myself. even if it suffocates me inside. i can't. i can't do or. have that#this is a painful realization smth i mentioned earlier's how i wrote the uh. 'reader' YK YH in that story two years ago lmfao 'starlit sky'#& my wol.. my wol is like that. my main oc too. who's basically my self-insert. no way. no fucking way i hate this
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othercrossee · 2 years
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Funny how people have made astrology into a red flag thing when if someone likes astrology ik they're good people cuz who else is open minded enough to read the stars
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1-800-kami · 8 months
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R U MINE? feat gojo satoru (II)
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gojo satoru has got to be the picture definition of a stereotypical college frat boy. he’s cocky, loaded with his daddy’s money, and dangerously handsome. it seems like common sense to stay away from him since you’ll never get more than a one-night stand out of it. 
that’s why you choose to turn a blind eye once you’ve come to the horrific realization: you’re in love with him. and you’re just itching to ask…
“are you mine tomorrow? or just mine tonight?”
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IMPORTANT: this is part TWO (and the final part) of the r u mine? mini series. make sure to read part one of this fic before proceeding! :)
content: 5.4k words, afab!reader, rich college frat boy gojo, SMUT (fingering & unprotected sex.. wrap it before u tap it kids!) ANGST, (i listened to deftones while writing the breakup era LMAOO i was in my feels 😔) gojo "everything reminds me of her" satoru is really going thru it, idk how to feel about the ending tbh, cheating implications, kinda proofread ig, more emo gojo (u luv to see it)
author's note: guys. where do i even start?? first of all, thank u for all the support on the first part of this mini series!! we also hit 100 followers on this blog so tysm for supporting me n my writing <3 here's the long awaited part two (n also the finale) as i promised that i would get it out over the weekend! just a quick announcement that i may be a little bit more inactive from here on out.. mainly because classes r starting again nd im starting to get busier. i do have more fic plans though, (and a geto smut in my drafts? 👀) so i'll make time to write when i can! happy reading and thank u for all the support on this silly little series :)
tags: @soley613 @feariteriu @bear-likes-mushrooms @96jnie @keilaq1 @whydohumansss @luftyluft @fatbootymuncher (bold = i'm unable to tag u)
reblog and interact for a kiss ;)
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everything’s been hazy.
you don’t really remember how you got home– you either waved down a cab or walked until you somehow found your house. either way, the alcohol is worsening the pounding in your ears. the straps of your dress are clinging terribly against your skin–you want to take it off, you want to wear something more comfortable, you want to just go to sleep, preferably forever… but you can’t bring yourself to.
you can’t even bring yourself to move.
so the rumors really were true? but why did gojo pursue so far just for you? why did gojo say those words to you when you spent the night together? why did gojo try so hard to convince you that night that he wanted to have sex with you because he loved you–and not solely because he wanted to have sex?
why did gojo lie to you?
another series of pings sound throughout the room, and you finally move to silence your phone. the noise is all so overwhelming. why the hell is your phone blowing up?
you check your notifications–mostly dms from people you don’t know, either asking if you and satoru were dating, or questioning you about what the hell happened at the party. you know that you’re gonna be the subject of gossip once you’re back at campus, and you hate it.
you were surprised at the numbers once you scrolled down your notification list a little further. ten missed calls from satoru, accompanied by a series of fifteen panicked messages. you open it, and you stare sadly at his contact photo and name, remembering the fond memory behind it. once you two actually started dating, you were merciful enough to add a heart next to his name, and even updated it to “toru”. he was elated at that.
you think you can barely even call him gojo now.
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the most recent message was barely sent a minute ago. like it was on cue, you see the bright headlights pull up outside of your door. you wanted to sink into your couch and never resurface ever again.
you hear suguru’s car door open and close, and then frantic knocking outside. you walk to the door while sniffling, looking through the peephole just to confirm your suspicions. it was satoru.
“i can hear you crying through the door, y/n. i know you’re there.” he takes a deep inhale, and the tears start rolling down your cheeks again once you hear the complete and utter vulnerability in his voice. you just don’t know what to believe anymore. “shit, i’m crying too. well, i’m gonna explain myself even if you don’t care enough to listen to me. uhm, believe it or not, what happened at the party wasn’t my doing… at all. when you went to use the bathroom, this girl went up to me and started flirting with me, like she was waiting for you to leave or somethin’. i was g’na tell her to go fuck off but she pushed herself on my lap and before i could do anything about it you walked in and it was just all horrible timing and- god. i know it sounds unbelievable, right? you must think i’m terrible right now.”
“you don’t have to believe me. if i were in your shoes i wouldn’t know what to think either. i’m just… explaining what happened.”
there’s a long period of silence between you and satoru, aside from the occasional sniffling on both ends. you don’t know what to say. you want to believe him. you want to do nothing more than to open the door and let him hold you in his arms again, but you just don’t know what to think anymore. you poured your entire heart out to a man who you knew you shouldn’t be messing with, and now you don’t know who or what to believe. you feel like a fool, and you’re just tired. so damn tired. the silence feels asphyxiating, like it's tearing your relationship with satoru further and further apart the longer it draws on.
satoru is the first one to break the silence. “i’m guessing from the silent treatment that you don’t believe me. it’s okay, y/n. i’ll wait an eternity for you to forgive me because i’ll always choose you- fuck… over anything, and i hope you know that.”
your mind is a mess, and satoru’s words make it even messier.
i’ll wait an eternity for you
i’ll always choose you over anything
you put your head in your hands and sob. it hurts.
a minute passes–gojo hears you get up from where you’re sitting behind the door, and his heart fills with hope.
“i just… i just don’t know how to believe you, gojo.”
his heart breaks when he hears the door–presumably to your bedroom–open and close, leaving him alone with his shattered heart. his heart breaks when he takes in your voice, noticing how weak and exhausted you sounded. he wonders how much you’ve cried just from this past hour alone. his heart breaks once he realizes that he’s alone with his thoughts again, alone with the voice in his head that was berating him for not being able to prevent all of this if he hadn’t frozen up and just pushed her away the second that girl started flirting with him. finally, his heart breaks once it registers that you called him gojo–the last name that he shares with his corrupt and money-crazy family… the family he tries so hard to get away from. it was also the name you called him during the days that you barely trusted him.
now, he’s back to square one, and he has none of your trust again. this time, satoru swears that he’ll do anything in his power to get it back once more.
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you didn’t come to school today.
there’s been nothing but radio silence on your end. gojo has sent you countless messages over the weekend asking how you’ve been, with the occasional desperate voicemail where he tells you that he loves and misses you. you’ve turned off your read receipts, so gojo doesn’t even know if you’ve seen his texts or listened to his voicemails. he’s concerned for you, even though he knows that he’s the reason behind all of this. he was hoping to talk things out with you today.. but you weren’t even here.
one thing gojo knew about you is that you cared deeply about your academics, and you wouldn’t miss attendance even if you were sick. it pains him to know that he was the reason that you weren’t here today. you were avoiding him, and he felt helpless.
he’s talked to geto—and the best advice that his best friend could offer was to “find proof that you didn’t cheat on her.” he’s right, though. the last thing you had said to gojo was that you don’t know how to believe if he’s telling the truth or not. gojo has absolutely no idea how to prove his fidelity to you, since words clearly weren’t enough. it frustrates him to no end.
gojo now knows that he feels absolutely lost. all when he’s not with you.
it feels nerve-wracking to walk the halls. 
he remembers telling you the night that you slept together that he’d learned over time to drown out the rumors about him. he learned not to care about what other people thought about him, and he eventually became unaffected by the school’s gossip. 
however, this time was different.
this time, he finds it difficult to drown out the rumors when he hears your name in them. he flinches every time someone whispers your name and his as he walks the halls, feeling that all eyes are on him. “i heard y/n and gojo broke up…” “they were dating?!” “yeah.. i didn’t believe it at first, either! apparently he…”
he doesn’t want to hear it, so he walks a little faster. it hasn’t felt this suffocating to be on campus in a while.
maybe that’s partially why you didn’t show up. rumors are hard to ignore if you don’t know how to shun them out. 
gojo lets out a sigh. he decides that he’s going to ditch the rest of class. you weren’t here, he couldn’t talk to you, and he felt he was gonna go mad if he heard your name spoken by someone again, so he turns to leave, but flinches as he feels a hand lightly tap his shoulder.
“gojo-san?”
he turns around, with a girl that he’s never seen before standing in front of him… not that he pays attention to them in the first place, though. he raises his eyebrow in question, and the girl looks so nervous she might pass out. “i have to tell you something-“
“if it’s a love confession or whatever, i don’t want to hear it-“
“-no!” she flushes a deep shade of red, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes. she coughs awkwardly at his expression. “um, no.. it’s not that. please, just give me two minutes in the library. i have something to tell you.”
he decides to entertain this girl for a bit. he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t curious about what she had to talk to him for. gojo sighs and says, “two minutes. that’s all you’re getting.”
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“this is about the party last friday, no?” he says while taking a seat near one of the tables. he feels sick just being here. he’d never gone to the library before meeting you–as he had no reason to go here at all. then, he started accompanying you everywhere as he tried to win your heart. “study dates” were frequent here, and he even remembers forcefully changing his contact name and number on your phone during one of your dates.
gosh, everything literally reminds him of you. he can barely live like this.
she takes a seat across from him, and she shamefully nods at his words. “i went to the party on friday, and i just want to say i’m sorry-”
gojo gets up to leave. he can’t do this. he doesn’t need anyone’s pity. pity can’t change the fact that you still won’t talk to him. she panics as gojo is about to walk away. “wait!”
the librarian tells her to quiet down, and she mutters an apology. still, she persists. “please, just wait for two minutes… i need two minutes to explain myself. you promised you’d give me that.”
she stares at gojo, who hasn’t left yet, and takes that as her opportunity to speak. “i was a friend of… her,” he doesn’t need an explanation to know who she was talking about. “the reason why she came up to you was because of a dare i told her to do. she’s had a crush on you for a while now, so of course she was willing to flirt with you.”
“um, that was the dare, by the way. my friend told me to record it, because we were all drunk, and we thought it would be funny. just another memory to laugh at in the future, right? we didn’t know you were dating the girl you were with at the party. sorry but, we assumed she was just a fling… or something… we didn’t know she was your girlfriend.”
“yeah, i was dating the girl at the party.” gojo scoffs, and he feels his anger bubbling up again. “then your friend had to do that stupid dare, and she won’t fuckin’ talk to me now.”
“i’m sorry-”
“i don’t need your apologies. is that why you came up to me? to apologize so you don’t feel guilty about what happened anymore?” gojo sneers. he was right, though. guilt is ridden all over her face, and she can’t even meet his eyes. he’s about to leave, thinking that this entire conversation was useless, but gojo thinks back on what she said earlier.
“...my friend told me to record it…”
he turns back to look at her, which surprises her, to say the least. “hey, you said you recorded the dare, right?”
“uhm, yes.”
“so you still have the video?”
“it should be in my camera roll somewhere-”
“if you came here to apologize to me, then you should send me that video.” she looked a little horrified at his words, and gojo could almost laugh. “what? i’m not gonna do anything bad with it, god.”
she thinks about what gojo’s intentions could be with that video, and her eyes light up in recognition as she connects the dots from what he said beforehand. i was dating the girl at the party… then your friend had to do that stupid dare… and she won’t fuckin’ talk to me now.
she nods in understanding. this is the least she could do for him. she pulls out her phone, looking for the video, and says, “i hope you two make up soon, gojo-san.”
gojo satoru walks- no, runs out of that library with determination. determination as he finally has the video evidence of what happened at the party–his saving grace so he could finally get you to forgive him.
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you miss him.
you miss him like hell, actually, and you blink at the messages he just sent you in complete disbelief.
you didn’t show up to class today because you were afraid. you were afraid to see satoru again, yes, but you were also afraid of what everyone else would say about you. the party was one thing, but the after-effects and the rumors were something completely different. you didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with that, unlike satoru, so you stayed home. all because you were afraid of what would happen on campus.
you just wish things would go back to how they were before… all of this happened. you didn’t want to admit it, but you’ve read all of satoru’s messages, and you’ve listened to all of his voicemails. you’ve cried to them. and it hurts because you’re still torn apart in the midst of your own feelings. and now, satoru wants to talk to you, because he’s been wanting to do nothing but fix everything between the two of you.
the doorbell rings, and you almost jump out of your skin. 
you didn’t even know if you would open the door or not. despite that, you felt your body moving on its own, like you were relying on your own instincts. you washed your face to get rid of the dried tears on your cheeks, brushed the tangles out of your hair, and dressed into something more presentable. the next thing you know, you’re leaning against the wall next to the front entrance. your shadow is visible underneath the door, so satoru knows that you’re here.
“hi, y/n..” he sounded so nervous that you almost laughed, but you felt equally as terrified as him. “i have something to show you… uh, on my phone. if you don’t want to see me, it’s fine, i’ll just send it to you, but i’d really prefer if you open the door and we’ll talk about this inside-”
your hand is already reaching the door knob before you can even think about it. it’s such an impulse decision that you look at him in surprise once you open the door. it’s the first time you’ve seen him ever since you were at the party. it’s only been three days, but you can’t help but notice how his eyebags are more prominent, his eyes are a little redder, and he looks nothing short of exhausted.
“hey,” he manages to breathe out, his eyes meeting yours. “can i come in? please?”
you nod, too stunned to say anything, and he exhales in relief as he walks in. the two of you sit on the couch, and gojo notices how you’re keeping your distance from him. it breaks his heart a little.
he looks for the video on his phone and gets ready to show it to you. this is it. his last ditch effort for your forgiveness. he’s really fuckin’ hoping that this works. “i got this video from a girl who came to the party. it’s a recording of, um, what happened.”
he hands the phone over to you, and you take it skeptically, still choosing to keep silent. you press play, and you watch the recording. a shaky hand holds the camera, and the person behind it says, “holy shit, she’s actually doing it!” they're presumably talking to their friend, and the camera focuses on a girl walking over to gojo. your heart is pounding, eyes widening in recognition as you stare at her... the one who caused all of this in the first place.
the all too familiar girl comes up to him, saying something out of earshot. when gojo looks at her, completely uninterested, she pulls that move. the scene you saw at the party before you ran out. tears fill your eyes again, and you almost want to stop the video, but your interest is piqued at the next part.
..this… this part was something that you didn’t see. gojo angrily reacts at the girl’s move, with her falling on the floor as she looks at him, stunned at how furious he looks. the person behind the camera gasps, continuing to record out of shock as a crowd of people turn to stare at the two. geto eventually comes into the frame and takes gojo away from all the chaos. the video ends there, and you grip gojo’s phone shakily.
holy shit.
tears roll down your face, but this time, they’re tears of relief. you waste no time in hugging satoru, crying your heart out as you bury your face in his neck. you’re happy. you’re so fucking happy, and so relieved knowing that he didn’t lie to you. of course he didn’t.
“m’sorry-” you sniffle into his shoulder. gojo is so shocked at what was happening that it takes him a second to hug you back, but when he does, he starts crying. “m’so fucking sorry i didn’t believe you-”
“shh, it’s okay, it’s okay…” he says, and you only hug him tighter. “m’so tired, you know that? these past three days fucking sucked. i’m just so glad you’re in my arms again, fuck-”
“-i love you, i love you, i love you so fucking much, toru.” you repeat, laughing as you kiss him all over his face. it’s been a while since you said that to someone. you wipe his never-ending tears away, still in disbelief, and whisper, “you’re real. right? you’re actually here with me right now ‘nd i’m not dreaming, right?
“i’m very much real, baby.” he says, putting his forehead against yours as you take in his features again. “god, i missed that pretty face so much.”
he finally closes the gap between you two, pulling you into a much needed kiss. it’s a kiss filled with so many emotions–desperation, happiness, relief. satoru thinks his heart is finally whole again. he’s missed you. he’s missed you so fucking much, and you’ve missed him too. 
you’re like an anchor to satoru. the light of his life that keeps him grounded. and god, he’s been apart from you for too long. 
you reposition yourself as you’re deepening the kiss. you’re on his lap now, and you wrap your arms around his neck, tugging on his hair in desperation. “oh yeah? ‘y gonna do anything about it?"
“of course i am,” he says, hands roaming underneath your shirt as he caresses your bare waist. fuck. he needs you. right now. especially after thinking that he was about to lose you forever–for something that he didn’t even do. “i’m gonna show you just how much i missed you, baby.”
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gojo can’t let you go.
you’re in your bedroom, and both of you waste no time undressing each other. he takes you in–all of you, in awe of every crevice of your body as he trails his hands further down your waist.
god, you’re so beautiful. “i can’t believe i almost lost you.”
his words are shaky, like he’s still uncertain that you’re real and you’re in his arms again. he can’t seem to break himself away from you, almost like you’ll disappear if he lets you go. “but i’m here now, toru.”
“i’m here to stay, and i’ll never let you go again… ‘m yours,” you whisper, and your words set a fire in him, fueling his body with nothing but desperation. desperation to have you right here, and right now. 
he wastes no time in plunging two of his fingers in your cunt, and he groans at just how wet you are. “satoru-”
“fuck, you’re so wet… and it’s all for me,” he mutters, spreading your legs effortlessly when you try to close them, thighs shaking in pure pleasure. he adds another finger, and you already feel stretched to the brim, and you haven’t even taken him in yet. the thought of his cock inside of you makes you even wetter than you already are, and you look up at satoru with eyes full of lust and desire. “missed you so much, baby. missed you and your pretty little cunny,”
his fingers are long, and you whine at how full you feel right now. you’re so loud, and you don’t even care. right now, it’s just you and satoru finally feeling each other again. it’s only been three days, but it feels like you’ve been apart for years.
everything about this was filthy. from your erotic moans and the way your cunt squelched against his fingers… not to mention the vice grip you had on them- fuck, satoru thinks he can cum untouched just from watching you like this.
“haa-” you whimper when his fingers curl and hit that spot in your cunt that you can barely seem to reach on your own. it’s exhilarating, and only fuels the growing heat in your stomach. “toru- don’t stop- please, i’m close-”
“really?” he taunts, and it feels so fucking good–your head is numb, and the only thoughts filling your head are thoughts of satoru. the pleasure is too much, and you try to get away from him, but he keeps you in place, curling his fingers faster as punishment. “don’t run away from me, baby… be a good girl and just take it, yeah?”
“toru- fuck- i’m gonna cum, please-” you’re on the brink of release, but suddenly, he stops, ruining your orgasm. “no- wait-”
he pulls his fingers out, and you whine at the loss of stimulation. you were so close–why did he take that away from you? you try and swat at his hands, but he just takes his fingers and puts them in his mouth, locking his eyes with yours with a sly smile. “you taste so sweet, i can’t help it,”
“aww, is my baby mad ‘cause she didn’t get to cum?” he coos sarcastically, caging you in between his arms as he tilts your face up with his finger. “too bad… the only thing you’re cumming on tonight is on my cock.”
and with that, he eases his painfully hard member into your walls. your insides hugged him perfectly–it was like you were made just for him. you gasp once he’s fully sheathed himself inside of you. his fingers were already a lot to take in, but his cock was something completely different. he moans your name, barely keeping his cool. “fuck- you’re squeezing me so tight,”
“missed everything about you, baby. i need to hold you, please,” he pleads desperately, clasping your small hands against his. the size difference alone between the two of you almost makes him cum, but he holds himself back, choosing to bask in this intimate moment. he’s missed every part about this. “you ready f’me?-”
“-just fuck me, satoru, please-” he doesn’t need another confirmation from you.
he can’t bring himself to hold back. next thing you know, he’s fucking you into the mattress, and you feel the headboard shake at how fast satoru is going. fuck–you feel every part of him, every part of his cock as it slams against your tight hole. he’s so big, you feel yourself gasping for breath, and you moan out loud as you notice the prominent bulge forming in your stomach. it’s him, it’s all him, and it’s driving you mad.
satoru follows your eyes in the midst of all of this, and he watches everything in fascination. he decides to be a little mean, and presses his free hand against your stomach–it feels so good, you could almost scream at the pleasure. “you feel that, baby? that’s all me inside of you, hmm?”
“please-” the onset of pleasure feels so overwhelming, and tears fill your eyes. you feel an oncoming orgasm coming, and you know your release will hit you like a tidal wave. your heart is pounding, but satoru only grips your hand tighter and fucks you even harder. “oh, fuck!”
“m close, baby. are you g’na cum too?” he manages to say between pants, and you somehow nod, mind hazy and your release only coming closer. you feel your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “cum inside of me, toru- please- i need to feel you-”
gojo groans at your words, and you both cum together. you ride out your high, screaming as you spasm around his cock, the pleasure overfilling your senses until you’re trembling from it. he fills you up, staying inside of you as the two of you catch your breath. everything’s hazy, and you’re barely aware of your surroundings… it takes you a few minutes to recover. 
“angel, are you with me?”
“yeah, fuck, just… give me a second.” you say, and gojo thinks that he would gladly give you all the time in the world if you needed it. he pulls out of you with a hiss, and his warm seed drips out of your cunny. it makes his cock twitch, but he knows that you’re probably not considering a round two right now.
when you come to your senses, you notice satoru–who put his clothes back on already, wiping your legs down with a rag. his touch is so soft, like he’s afraid to break you, unlike how he handled you just a moment ago. you look down and notice the bruises starting to form on your legs and waist. satoru looks guilty as he stares. “i didn’t go too rough with you, did i?”
“not at all,” you reassure him, and you see him soften up a little. “it felt really good, actually… thank you, toru.”
“s nothing. you know my girl only gets the best,” he teases, and you laugh. “i’m gonna go get you some new clothes and some water… i’ll be back, okay?”
you nod, closing your eyes again as satoru leaves the room. he’s back in two minutes, and he’s gently changing you into new clothes that he found in your drawer. you’re so tired that you can hardly move, so you let satoru do all the work. he caresses all of your bruises, apologizing again even if you already said that it was okay. he’s so gentle, a swift juxtaposition to what just happened beforehand, and so soft with you. once you’re clothed again, he brings a glass of water against your lips, and you greedily gulp it down as he keeps a hand on your back. he places it on the nightstand once you’re finished, and you grab his wrist after, tugging him back to the bed. “lay with me for a bit, toru.”
satoru doesn’t hesitate, laying down next to you on the bed and placing your head against his chest. your breathing is back to normal, and you feel his heart thumping against your ear. you wrap your arms around him, and satoru thinks that this moment is so domestic that he can’t help but daydream. he looks at your face, memorizing every feature about you with a lovesick look in his eyes. you’re so beautiful, so perfect, and he’s just so fucking glad that he didn’t lose you. 
satoru thinks he could wake up to this everyday.
“you’re starin.” you say with an amused look on your face. gojo doesn’t even try to play it off. “what’s on your mind?”
“nothing. i just… love you so much, y/n.” he says, pulling you closer and kissing your forehead. satoru would trade anything if it meant that this moment wouldn’t end. “m so glad you chose me.”
“i think it’s the other way around,” you tease. “you chose me. ever since you saw me at the party, you’ve done nothing but try to win my heart.”
“how could i not? there was just something different about you compared to everyone else.” he reminisces about that night at the party, and how far he’s come with his relationship with you. he remembers that night like it just happened yesterday.
you sigh, almost like you were thinking about that night too. you pull him into a kiss, finally finding the courage within you to say a proper “i love you.” to the man who meant the world to you.
“i love you too, angel.” he says, and you snuggle into him tighter. “you know i’ll always choose you…”
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“..from this life and into the next. i’m so glad you gave me a chance, y/n. i’ll forever be grateful to now be called your husband. i’m the luckiest man ever knowing that you let me into your life, and i’m the one who gets to read these vows to marry you. i cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. i love you so much, y/n gojo.” he’s crying. gojo satoru is crying, and he’s hardly ever cried before. though, that changed after he met you.
the last time he cried was during pre-k, and now he’s done it time and time again… all because of you. he cried once during your first argument with him, another during the night he thought he’d lost you forever, and then another when he finally had you in his arms again once he proved his innocence… and now, during his wedding, when he finally gets to call you his wife.
and when you share your kiss at the end of the ceremony to symbolize your togetherness, you hear all your friends cheering. mainly shoko, utahime, and geto. if you showed this very scene to shoko during your university years, she’d call you crazy, saying this would never happen. gojo satoru was once a man who’d never willingly committed in a relationship before, but you came into his life and you changed everything about him. it was like magic.
you pull away from the kiss, wiping his tears away and whispering against his lips, drowning out the crowd, “thank you.”
for memorizing all my favorite foods so you could buy them for me. for walking me to class every day. for making me fall in love with you that one day at the park. for waiting for me to slowly love you even when i was scared to love. for waiting for me even if i didn’t trust you. for loving me. for proving those rumors wrong. for proving that satoru gojo is actually capable of falling in love and pouring his heart out to the one he loves the most.
for everything that you have done to love me.
it was like gojo could hear all of your unspoken words. he smiles, letting one more tear roll down his cheek, and says, “it’s all worth it if it’s for you.”
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thanks for reading <3 -kami.
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talaok · 5 months
Note
hi!!! request for joel being readers first kiss. He won’t go any further than kissing but they have a LOT of fun kissing
thx
post outbreak jackson pls
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Warnings: very brief talk of some sexual themes at the end, but the rest is... you guessed it, kissing!
a/n: 1000/10 idea i literally blushed when you sent it. idk about the execution tho
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You were so incredibly embarrassed when you told him, when you finally had to confess that you had no experience, and by that I mean really none, absolutely zero.
But then again what could he have expected?
perhaps he knew right from the moment he set eyes on you, and perhaps... perhaps he liked it.
It oozed from your every pore... your innocence, it was in the way you couldn't meet his gaze, in the way you shivered when his hand grazed against your arm, in the shyness in your voice... it was in everything... it was all of you.
But he nicked at it, piece by piece, brick by brick, he had gotten to know you... maybe a little too much.
He had realized at one point, too late he'd grow to admit, that he liked you, really liked you, in a way he hadn't experienced in ages, in a way that made him feel sixteen all over again.
And yes you were young... much too young for him, and yes you were complete opposites, him, a rough man with enough blood on his hands to make a serial killer's skin crawl, and you, you a pretty little thing who'd lived her whole life in Jackson, safe from the atrocities of the real word... but still, still he he couldn't stop his old heart from beating faster when he was with you.
And that's why one day, one cold, windy day, as snow fell to the ground and you held onto his arm as if it was a life jacket, while he walked you back home, he couldn't do anything but tell the truth.
"Joel" you had said right outside your front door.
"yes sweetheart?" he asked, watching your pretty face fill with dread
"Joel I... I like you"
You'd told him so casually, so simply, that for a moment he wondered if he had imagined it.
But you had misinterpreted his pause all wrong
"I-I'm sorry nevermind, pretend I didn'-"
"no, no I'm sorry" he shook his head, forcing himself out of his trance "You said you like me darlin'?" he asked, taking a step closer to you so he was right there before you, looking down at the gorgeous girl who'd just made all his wishes come true.
"mh-mh" you nodded shily
And at that, he smiled, placing a hand on your reddening cheek, as his thumb gently stroked it
"well then we're in luck" he'd murmured "cause I happen to like you too sweetheart" he promised "a lot"
"r-really?" Your eyes sparked with joy
"of course baby" he breathed, bending down to meet his lips with yours instinctively before your voice stopped him
"wait-" you said
"oh, I'm sorry, I'm going too fast"
"n-no you're not it's just that..."
it was getting harder to meet his gaze again
"if you wanna wait that's ok, sweetie"
"n-no I don't wanna wait, Joel, it's just that-"
"what is it?"
A loud sigh left your mouth before you could respond
"I've never... I've never kissed anybody"
His mouth fell open slightly at the confession, but he recovered quickly, now both his hands holding your pretty face.
"oh" he breathed "that's ok sweetheart, we can wait"
"no I want to kiss you Joel, I really really do... but- but I'm scared I won't be... good at it"
"oh baby" he couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle "You'll be great at it, don't you worry"
Your heart was racing and your breathing hitched as you looked up into his hazel eyes
"do you think- do you think you could... teach me?"
Now Joel Miller didn't deem himself a romantic, but the way you said that... the way you gazed dreamily and both anxiously into his eyes as you spoke those words... he had to stop a moment to thank whoever was up there for having allowed him to meet you.
"of course I can" he said
"yeah?"
"there's nothing I'd like more baby"
And that was it, you were smiling like a kid in a candy store
"s-so what do I do?"
His hands were still on your face, holding you in a way that made your knees weak
"just follow my lead, I'll go slow, don't worry"
You nodded at that, and before you knew it, his lips were on yours and you were- you were giving your first ever kiss.
You got up on your tiptoes and held onto his arms as you closed your eyes and got lost in the feeling- and wow- you had only read in books about it and seen it in a couple of the movies they showed in Jackson, but this... this was just amazing, it felt like you were dreaming, like you had ascended to another universe.
He had kept his promise, he did go slow, but it felt heavenly for him too nonetheless.
He leaned away after what was probably an eternity, to look back at you and confirm this was all real
"so?" he asked, "how was it?"
You couldn't help but giggle as you almost jumped out of your skin from the happiness.
"good" you grinned "very very good"
"mmmhh" he hummed, moving one of his hands to your waist to bring you closer to him "'s that right"
"yeah" you breathed so lowly he wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't been an inch away from your face
"well I'm glad" he smirked, kissing you on the cheek this time "Hopefully we'll do that again then"
"yes please" 
He chuckled at that, not leaning away
"would you like a goodnight kiss?"
Not a split second passed that you had already answered
"yes" you nodded, leaning up already "yes please"
And that was how it all started.
That was the night you found your true calling... kissing, and not only that, but kissing Joel Miller.
God, there was nothing better than it,
feeling his beard stroke your cheek, the way his strong hands held you as he did, the way he tasted, the way his warmth spread all over your body, it was all just... perfect
And the coolest thing was that when he said he was gonna teach you, he meant it.
Who knew there were so many ways you could kiss someone?
There were the French kisses, the kisses on the neck, the "special kisses" aka hickeys you loved giving him and that he loved pretending not to like, then the kisses standing up, laying down, and your personal favorite: kissing him while sitting on his lap, and then of course as time went on you both found out (although him especially) how much fun it was to kiss in public, at the bar, on patrol, you name it, it didn't matter, what mattered was that his lips were on yours and his arms were around you (and even if he would have never admitted it, he loved it because he loved showing everyone you were his, and he was yours).
If it were up to you, you'd spend your whole life like that, diving your fingers into his hair as his hands explored every inch of your body, your face, your hips, your ass, your belly (above clothes of course), making you shiver and whimper with every movement.
But it was only just kissing, Joel made a promise to himself he was gonna wait, and it's not that he didn't want to go further, god only knew how many times his dick got hard just by giving you a chaste kiss on the lips as he felt your body pressed against his (and yes that did make him feel like a hormonal teenager again, but then again, everything about you did), so no it definitely wasn't that, and he didn't know if it was because he felt guilty or in some way, like he would be doing something wrong, but for now, all he knew was that he needed to wait, wait until he was sure you were sure about him, and about you.
And for now... for now, you were more than happy with it, counting down the seconds until you'd get a taste of him again.
697 notes · View notes
lovebugism · 6 months
Note
for fictober could I request from the 50 autumnal prompts ‘when he wears THAT flannel’ with Eddie please?
we were so robbed of Eddie all boyfriend in soft cosy clothes. R wouldn’t be able to keep their hands off of him and he’d love it come autumn when it’s all he wears.
ugh imagine him in like thick baggy sweaters and when he reaches up it just exposes a bit of tummy 😍 I’m like a Victorian seeing ankles
love you xoxo
hi angel! idk how i managed to make this angsty, but alas! hope you like it :D
summary: you and eddie try to get used to life post-vecna but it's not nearly as easy as you thought it'd be (post st4, established relationship, wee bit of angst tw for mentions of death and scars, 1.2k)
fictober (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)
Eddie’s pretty much recovered by mid-fall.
Not totally. But mostly.
You think getting away from Hawkins helped the most — moving out of the city and settling further in the green. Even though everyone back home eventually understood that Eddie wasn’t the psycho-killing freak they made him out to be, things had changed far too much to ever go back to normal again.
Something’s break beyond repair. Something’s just can’t be fixed.
Not your Eddie, though. Eddie’s perfect. Damn near it, anyway, considering the circumstances.
He’s still got the nightmares and the phantom pains — even though he tells you he doesn’t. But he’s graduated now and helping Wayne at the car shop whenever he can. He’s taking the newfound normalcy in stride, spending early autumn with you and making you hot chocolate like nothing ever happened.
“You like marshmallows in your cocoa, right?” he calls from the kitchen, though he sounds like he’s talking mostly to himself.
You hear him, but you forget to answer. Your brain all but short circuits at how pretty he looks. 
You eye him from the couch while he bustles in the kitchen, and gutwrenching existentialism knocks the wind from your lungs like a fist to the stomach. 
You weren’t supposed to have Eddie again. You weren’t supposed to share a home like you always dreamed about, and he wasn’t supposed to make you hot cocoa or keep you warm when autumn got too bitter. 
A season or more ago, you were saying your goodbyes while he bled out in an alternate dimension. 
You haven’t yet forgotten how pale his skin had gotten or how glassy his chocolate eyes grew as the life spilled from the weeping bites on his stomach. The feeling of his blood, slimy on your hands and drenching your clothes, hasn’t yet left you. The red-hot blood in the unnatural navy blue cold still lives in your head.
But it’s only there. In your head.
And Eddie’s right in front of you — wild hair, baggy pajama pants, and all. You can smell the musk of his cologne and the floral of his shampoo. He’s real enough to touch. 
He’s real.
The realization hits you every day, all the time. It wells from your chest up into your throat and makes you feel like crying. Most people don’t get to say goodbye to their soulmate and eat Wednesday morning breakfast with them months later. 
You’ve got so much gratitude inside you, bursting like golden rays of sunshine, that you don’t know what to do with it all.
“Babe?” he calls again when you don’t answer. “Did you hear me?”
He pokes his head in the doorway, and your eyes go wide. “Huh? What?” you stammer, shaking your head to jerk yourself out of your stupor.
Eddie laughs, high and boyish. It sounds like heaven, and it pierces your heart. Six months ago, you never thought you’d hear it again. “I asked if you wanted marshmallows, weirdo.”
You nod rapidly and ramble an answer. “Oh, yeah. Sure. Thank you.”
“O-kay,” Eddie lilts, though his voice wavers with confusion. His grin widens and his eyes narrow, but he doesn’t ask why you’re acting so suddenly strange. 
You wonder if he’s used to it by now. You wonder if he knows when you go quiet that you’re remembering that a part of you nearly died.
He returns to the kitchen and reaches for the upper cupboard. A sliver of his milky white tummy peeks from beneath his flannel. You can see the bites from here. They’re scarred over now, dark red and light pink and thunder-strike purple. It almost jars you how healed they look. The wounds are still fresh and weeping whenever you close your eyes.
Eddie comes in from the living room, balancing two mugs in his hands rather carefully because he’s filled them to the brim. He’s got his usual ceramic Campbell’s Tomato Soup cup in one hand and your sleeping Snoopy in the other. The innate domesticity makes your stomach whirl.
“You okay?” the boy wonders with pinched brows when he hands you your cocoa.
You nod with glittering eyes, mustering a faint smile up at him. The mug warms your chilled, trembling hands. 
“Mm-hmm… Why?” you question, though you’re more than aware of why. 
Eddie’s got a knack for knowing how you’re feeling before you’ve even hinted at it. You think he might’ve got mind-reading powers when you were in the Upside Down.
“I don’t know. You just looked a little… far away, I guess.”
“Just missed you,” you confess with a bright, innocent gaze.
Eddie snorts as he rounds the couch to sit next to you. “While I was in the kitchen ten feet away?”
“Yeah. ’S way too far.”
“Well, remind me to carry you with me wherever I go, then.”
You know he’s joking, but you beam anyway. You don’t want to be anywhere that he isn’t. You don’t want him to go where you can’t follow. 
Eddie takes a sip and smiles at your smiling. His grin is crooked and rosy and lined with whipped cream. He leans in to kiss you with it. 
You pull back from him, just far enough to wipe the melted sugar off with the pad of your thumb. You give him a smacking peck a second later.
With a kissed grin, the boy leans back against the couch with his arm sprawled along the back of it. You curl into his side like his own personal puzzle piece, nestling your mug between your bodies with one hand and settling your free one on his stomach.
Your fingers seem to gravitate beneath his fuzzy flannel without you having to think twice about it. 
Eddie doesn’t seem to mind, either. His attention is consumed by the television — a Scooby Doo re-run he’s probably seen a thousand times. His chuckle rumbles against your cheek. You laugh along with him, made content by the sound of his boyish delight.
Your fingers dance through the fuzz of his happy trail, then settle on something softer. 
The marred skin of his warm tummy feels like silk. Before you realize what you’re touching, the boy beneath you jolts.
You nearly spill your cooling cocoa when you freeze alongside him. You part from Eddie with a gaping gaze, wide eyes darting over every inch of his face. You’re frightened that you’ve hurt him, but his pink grin only widens.
“Oh, shit. Are you okay?” you blurt. “I wasn’t— I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
Eddie turns to you, then. His features are blurry with sleep, and they twist with confusion at your misplaced concern. 
“No,” he answers with the shake of his head. The softened ends of his chocolate curls brush your cheek. A laugh sputters from his mouth. “It just tickled, babe. It’s fine.”
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. It wavers on the way out, but you manage a trembling smile anyway. “Oh. Okay,” you hum, breathless. 
“Yeah. ’S okay,” Eddie murmurs softly back, wrapping his pale arm around your shoulder to pull you closer. He presses a kiss to the crown of your head and lingers there. “I’m okay,” he whispers into your hair.
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wandasfifthwife · 1 month
Text
(2) cheeks turning red ✩‧₊˚ competing series
hockey coach!wanda x fem!ex figure skater reader
tw: mentions of alcohol (neither r or wanda consume it), two brief mentions of toxic parents (r’s mom went to jail), wanda & r flirting lmao
a/n: not proofread, this is fresh outta the oven babes. Idk how I feel about this bc I feel I’m not good with writing fluff like this LMAO
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It was a call from your brother. On the other end of the phone, he was begging you to come over and entertain them at dinner.
“It’s good to see you,” your brother had said earnestly when you had walked up. He wrapped you in a hug, one you sunk into.
“Tyler is at a friend’s place. It’s good for him to get out, he’s been struggling with friends.”
“He’s been doing fine at practice?”
He shuts the door behind you, “I mean at school, he’s been complaining that they’re immature.”
His wife calls from further in the house, appearing from a corner to come and greet you. She’s always been welcoming, but the relationship between you still feels fresh. The table was already set, the dishes laid out on the table.
“How’s Tyler been at practice other than the friends he’s been making?”
“Oh he’s picking it up well,” you slide the chair closest to the window out to sit, “cocky as ever, but he’s doing well.”
“Good. What do you think of the coach?”
An uncomfortable look is shared between him and his wife, it makes you feel small. The look they shared felt usually like they knew something you didn’t, or that they had to walk on eggshells around you.
“She’s great,” you defuse the silence, “We don’t have to talk about any of that, I’m moving on.”
“Sweet, we just care to check in,” she finally steps into the conversation. You could tell your brother wanted to hash it out yet again, saying it’s because he cares but you’ve said the conversations make it worse. When your mind wants to forget about it, the constant back-track doesn’t help.
“Tyler’s coach and I are talking.”
The sentence had him stuttering, shock written on his face, “when? And how?”
His wife has a similar look on her face, but the small smile on her face eases the pressure in your chest.
“The situation’s a bit different from how you two met. A man hit on me, remember what I talked about last week? She scared him off, we introduced ourselves, and started saying hi whenever we saw each other.”
He points a finger at you, “that’s different. Do you like her?”
“She slipped her number in my coat pocket, I’d say we’re both interested.”
“It probably took you a day to realize it was there.”
You attempt to hide your smile but it’s futile, and the two laughs at the sight. He sighs and leans back in his seat, no longer hunching over the table, “I also wanted to ask how your job’s been going? You still with that company?”
“I’m staying with them unless they refuse to give me a raise, the amount they’re giving is barely enough to cover rent.”
He hums, “if you need anything, we’re here.”
You smile as a thank you and divert the conversation away from you by asking about their lives. They’re always eager to, their body language becoming more open and relaxed once they begin to. It could be a result of overthinking, but at times you feel most conversations surrounding you are negative. The one you just had about your nephew’s coach was the first time you collectively connected positively.
.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.
Within a second of closing the door to your apartment, your phone lit up the dark room. It was hurting your eyes, but you had never really cared to check who the recipient was until this moment. It wasn’t formatted properly, the text sent in a rush. The text read, “call me when you can,” just with random spacing and two misspelled words.
You debated waiting in hopes to seem hard to get, but you couldn’t wait any longer without hearing her voice. So you pressed on her contact, pressing your phone to your ear and sliding your shoes off in the foyer.
“Is everything alright,” you began, a small amount of concern bleeding into how you spoke.
“It can be,” she says, the pause between her words almost suffocating, “you deserve a nice dinner, and I will take you to one if you so wish to. But I have a formal event later tonight and need a plus one, I-“
“I’ll go as your plus one.”
“Oh wonderful. Thank you, thank you. I’ll come to your place at 9.”
She ends the call right after and you’re thankful she did. You can feel your heart fall out from your chest with the pitiful ache forming. If it were to be nerves or excitement, neither you nor your mind fully understands the difference.
With the lights now turned on it causes you to squint due to the sudden onset of light. You stumble to find your bedroom to open your window and let fresh air in. The projected event later that night turned your stomach into knots and mind into a blank slate of irrational anxiety. It was sudden and unexpected, but it was welcomed. What wasn’t welcomed was the following emotions, like anxiety.
The sun had settled under the surface, turning your room orange. With the sun lowering it set your alarm off. The tv across from you shut off and you slid off your bed.
Each minute passed while you got ready, and so did an alarm. Rather it was better to have three annoying alarms remind you of how much time you had than to be rushing out late. You had to remind yourself of that when it went off while you were in the shower, scaring you.
The parking lot was empty save for four cars in their assigned spots. Wanda had called earlier with questions on where you lived and if she had to do anything to get through the complex’s gate. Five minutes later here she was driving towards you.
A shaking hand reached towards the car door, opening it. She continued to watch you as you shut the door, you knew based off of feeling her eyes on you. It made your mind blank.
“I want to thank you again,” she admits, looking to you occasionally as she drives towards her friend’s estate. “It was last minute. I forgot about it until I saw the reminder on my phone.”
You smile at her, “you’re fine. What’s the event for?”
“My friend from college is getting married, this is some sort of together party. It doesn’t make sense and that’s just because they’re wealthy.“
“Who’s the wealthy one?”
“In a way both of their families are, but the bride’s family has a stable job set out for her.”
“How’d you meet?”
She stops at a red light, the color highlighting a side of her face when she turns towards you.
“She was in a class of mine. Connected over a terrible professor. I’m still surprised he still teaches there when all he does is read off of a slide show.”
You roll your eyes dramatically, “figures.”
When she parks, it’s behind a car brand you know is high on the market. It’s fun to dress nice, but it’s another thing when it feels like you’re playing dress up.
Wanda comes to your door, opening it for you and smiling when you fall forward into her. Your foot had fell between the crack of grass and concrete, twisting it and causing you to lean further into her chest.
“I don’t know anyone here expect for my friend, so you have no reason to fear me walking away. I’m in the same boat as you,” she whispers while shutting the car door behind you. A hand stays on your back as you two walk towards the lit up building.
The only awkward part of the night was when she greeted her friend, causing you to stand beside her as she did so. You pay it no mind though, appreciating the way she introduced you into the conversation. You give an occasional response, smiling politely to pass the time until they bid their goodbyes.
“I feel miserable,” she begins, walking you further into the house, “I dragged you into this.”
“You didn’t drag me into anything. I choose to come.”
She looks relieved, her expression now at ease. Her fingers grasp a glass near her, bringing it toward you for you to take.
“I would like to know you more,” she says while taking one for herself, “did you do another sport besides ice skating?”
“I tried soccer, hated it.”
She leans into the counter, facing sideways as compared to you. Her tone easy when she speaks, “what happened?”
“I didn’t like the competitive nature.”
“Did you competitive ice skating? What’s different?”
“You’re actively going against another team. I enjoy being competitive, I don’t like working with a team against another team.”
She hums, shaking her head in disbelief, “I would be crazy to believe that. I need to play with a team.”
You mock her hum, “of course you would.”
A faux offended expression comes on her face, “what’s that supposed to mean? Thought you said I’m a great coach.”
“You are, you just fit the criteria to enjoy a sport where you ram into others and shove a small puck around.”
“Is that why you said I’m a great coach?”
“You won’t let that go, huh?”
She scoots closer, “not until you tell me why.”
You roll your eyes a second time, laughing and pushing her back. She shrugs, “when a pretty woman compliments your teaching style, it’s important to know why so I can continue.”
You look at her incredulously. Unconsciously all nerves you had before beginning to fade away as the night continues. She’s easy to talk to and tease, a contrast from you’re used to.
“You’re genuine.”
“In what, I need more. In how I shove your nephew around? In what?”
“You’re an absolute dork. I mean in how you treat the boys, you care about them. Like you cultivate relationships with them. Even mix of stern and supportive.”
“Some coach expert you are, who’re you comparing me to.”
You have a choice to opt out, but she has an air of freedom. A feeling that you want to fall into more, so you open up that space.
“My mom.”
“Oh,” she gets closer, making your heart race, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright, she’s in jail now. Long gone.”
“Shit wow, okay,” Wanda laughs, an endearing grin on her face, “you’re full of history.”
A couple of drinks and long conversations later, you begin to pull away from the party. The atmosphere was calm on the drive home. With the gentle hum of the AC and Wanda’s presence, it lured you to lean fully into the car door beside you.
“If you’d like to sleep, go ahead. It’s pretty late.”
You glance to the clock, finding the numbers 2:00 glaring back at you. A sigh comes from you, “no.”
“Okay,” she mumbles, her husky voice cracking at your resolve. You watch her side profile, a hand under your head.
“You have a slight accent,” you begin and she cuts you off, apologizing for whatever reason.
“What? I was going to say it’s attractive.”
She huffs, looking a bit shocked, “thank you. It might be because English isn’t my first language.”
“What is it,” you ask tiredly, resisting how your eyes are practicing closing.
“It’s Sokovian. And doll, sleep. I promise I don’t mind.”
You didn’t have the energy to respond, the last coming from you being a muffled him before you drifted off. Twenty or thirty minute could’ve passed, but you woke when you felt the car turn at the strange loop getting off the highway. A slight headache begin to appear as you slowly woke up.
“I was about wake you,” she laughs softly, “you seemed to know we’re almost back.”
You groan with a hand in your head, “I regret sleeping, my head hurts.”
“Poor baby, do you have medicine?”
You nod at her question, reaching below to grab at your stuff that had fallen by your feet. The complex’s lights come into view and you’re almost thankful to lay down in your actual bed. What a gift it is to be able to do so.
“Thank you,” you start, “I had a wonderful time. I’m so sorry for just knocking out there at the end.“
“No worries,” she parks the car out front and you can feel the nerves from before spark.
“I would like to see you again,” you say quietly, looking into her eyes, “if that’s okay.”
“Love to. I can get you after practice Tuesday.”
The shyness comes back, everything within you burning at the idea of seeing her again. Your lungs heave in air looking at her, and she knows with the way she begins to smirk weird.
“You’re a goof,” you say finally, moving to climb out of the car. She laughs and waves you off.
Once finally in bed, you weren’t able to sleep with the way you kept replaying the way she was looking at you. It was dangerous, each one pulling you further into her.
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@dorabledewdroop @aru-son @thelittleliars
@sokovianbaby @natsbiggestfan1
@r0manxff @xxxtwilightaxelxxx
@emiliaisdead @esposadejoyhuerta
@shinysuitcloud @xxsekhmet
@casquinhaa @scarlettbitchx
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bitchimasnake-sss · 6 months
Text
their love language ft. the monster trio ayeee <3
another silly little set of headcannons for the biggest dumbasses in all the seas!!
ft. luffy, zoro, sanji x GN! reader
set-up: y'all idk, im just in the one piece vibe today (i say, 456th day in a row)
warnings: slightly suggestive for zoro and sanji's part
luffy:
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physical touch!!! - omg i dont even need to explain this. - this man has NO CONCEPT of personal space. - doing your makeup? okay just sit on his lap when you do it (not even in a sexual way my lord get a grip). looking at the sea dramatically? okay hold his hand anyways while you do that. eating lunch? yeah he's touching your calf with his toe like a weirdo. - but he is a weirdo we love - this isn't exclusive to just you. the entire crew is his tree and he is a fucking koala. a himbo koala who you love. - but ever since you started dating, yeah it is quite hard for him to leave your side. - you entertain it but there are instances like this: "luffy please get off my arm, i cannot wash the dishes like this" this usually leads to him saying okay and rearranging himself to hold you from your waist as he stands behind you. - as much as you love it, there are moments when you just cannot anymore but king luffy can make you change your mind with his fucking grin. - also no need to mention that luffy is 100% the most emotionally mature/understanding of the crew, so he will give you space whenever you need it. - he just thinks it's better if you cry in bed about something when he's nearby bcause "what if you realize you're crying cause youre hungry?? then i will have to fetch you meat. i should be around for that." "luffy. i never cry because i'm hungry." "you don't know that. what if you were hungry all along??" - you gave up. - actually its quite nice to hold someone's hand when you cry. you quite like it. - just let him hold your hand when you're going through your bi-weekly mental breakdown, he appreciates you <3
zoro:
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pretty mf aaahhh <3
words of affirmation!! - i do see him as a hoe for words of affirmation. argue with the wall. i cannot hear you lalalala. - he has subconsciously decided he needs to be strong for the crew, for you, for himself. weaklings cannot be the worlds greatest swordsman, after all. - everyone on the crew appreciates him ofcourse, but it is almost routine for him to save them any time of the day (or even someone else for that matter) - so when (pre-dating) you absent-mindedly thanked him for catching a sea-king for dinner, he was stuck. - like physically stuck. homeboy was frozen. staring at you like a deer in headlights. - when you asked him if he was okay, he brushed you off and you didn't see him for the rest of the evening (not even for dinner). he wouldn't admit it, but he stuffed his head against a pillow and almost screamed. and then he grinned against the same pillow for the rest of the night. what the fuck was wrong with him. - post-dating you has since found his kryptonite. - he did the most basic thing? he showered for once? say thank you and watch as he fucking melts into the ground once and for all. oml tell him he looks pretty and he will probably go to his room and cry. (please tell him he's pretty.) tell him his training form is good, he is ready to become a malewife (doesnt even know what that is but he is ready.) - still refuses to admit his weakness though. - "thankyou so much for taking me out on that date. i had so much fun." he is blushing ear to ear, he is fighting off a grin, he is shrugging but in reality he is fighting off a stupid dance move, "it was no big deal" "yes it was. thank you. i love you." yeah, he now believes he loves you 169% more than he did like 2 seconds ago - turn him into a bottom in one second by appreciating him during sexy times. (v. v. fun). he becomes a flustered, blushing mess. - appreciate him. he blushes. you get a good view. win-win situation tbh
sanji:
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acts of service!! - he might be smooth with words and always ready to pull off a grand gesture to show his love for you but you make him toast when he's sick and he is asking you to marry him - actually he always asks you to marry him but like this is special to him - please give him a cookie and watch him fall on his knees i beg you - it isn't even limited to him. he sees you help chopper carry something particularly heavy or sees you taking care of nami when she has a cold and he is ready to wife you up again. - it could be the smallest of things and it would still make him fall heads over heels in love with you once again - you found his lost sock for him? heart eyes. you brushed and braided his hair as a joke when he was laying in your lap? his head is spinning. you bought him a tie to match one of his suits? he's practically foaming at the mouth. - whatever you do, no matter how small, expect 10x more in return "you did this for me?" (referring to the smallest of things) "yeah" you shrug "i am gonna make you doughnuts now." "you don't have to-" "no. i will." - he is up before the sun rises, making you doughnuts now cause yesterday before sleeping you laid out clothes on the bed for him - just such a nice human being i luv him - but if you do plan to pull a big gesture like taking him out on a date, be ready to be wined and dined and then some more (he has quite strong legs, he can stay on his knees for hours if you know what i mean) - anyways just like love him and buy him a perfume cause you thought he'd like it - he is now ready to die for you at 200x the speed he was before
a/n: going thru one piece brainrot session rn
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updownlately · 7 months
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i like shiny things (but i'd marry you with paper rings)
randomly thinking about esme morgan and how she made bracelets for the engwnt during their down time and just picturing a reader x alessia where r does origami when they're anxious or in between games. idk if anyone's written this idea before so mb if it's repetitive (i feel like i read an origami-reader fic before but i believe it was with jessie fleming x r) not a fic, not a blurb, just an idea/storyline :) fun fact: an instagram reel prompted this 😅 | alessia russo x reader
~~~
like imagine the first time alessia walks into your shared hotel room to see a handful of paper cranes of different colours laid across the bed, your tongue poking out slightly, eyebrows furrowed as you had a website open on your phone showing you how to make a dragon.
and you're so concentrated you don't hear alessia come in, you just fiddle with the paper and let out a huff when you realize you have to unwind the folds you just did.
it's only when she clears her throat at you, still standing near the door that you snap out of what you're doing, eyes going wide, the dinosaur that looks more like a worm flying out of your hands.
and you'd look at her with an embarrassed look, quickly gathering the seven or so different paper cranes, bringing them towards your lap in a futile attempt to hide em, as alessia would watch you with a fond smile on her face.
or can we talk about how she'd quietly get you more origami paper the next time she goes out with the girls to explore the city, shyly coming back with a fresh pack of origami sheets, this time in pastel colours, shades you absolutely adored.
the way she'd enter the room anxiously, thumb playing with the ring on her finger as she'd hide the package behind her with her other hand, shoulder's curled in, skittish smile on her face.
how you'd wave her in, a huge smile on her face, not suspecting a thing as you chatted with your mother on the phone.
she'd maybe sit on the edge of the bed, a few feet away from you, the papers still hidden as you'd talk animatedly on the phone for a couple more minutes.
it's during that time that alessia would cast her gaze across the room, taking in how many different little paper creations, varying from flowers to cranes to butterflies to shapes like stars and hearts littered the room, smiling tenderly to herself.
and when you'd finish up the call, looking over at the blonde with a large grin on your face you'd already be excited by her mere presence, your golden retriever personality making itself known.
that grin would only grow wider as she would shuffle closer to you, the origami sheets still miraculously hidden (not hard to do really since all your focus was on alessia, your eyes nearly in the shape of a heart) and she'd give you a gentle kiss on your forehead and then lips, before pulling back shyly, the words quiet as they left her.
'i got you a little something...'
you'd tilt your head in question, a singular eyebrow raising as you'd finally notice how her other arm was somewhat awkwardly positioned behind her.
and you'd kind of tense up into a sitting position, concerned at what it could be.
'relax, it's nothing crazy, just a small little item i've been meaning to grab for you'
the words would be gentle, with a slight teasing lilt.
and she'd carefully present you the origami sheets, placing them on the sheet between you two, biting her lip nervously as she'd wait for a reaction.
your eyebrows would scrunch up immediately, hands reaching out to grab the plastic package, examining it as your jaw would drop in a pleasant mix of shock and joy.
and the way your eyes would widen as you'd read the text on around the item, the words 'origami paper' written clear as day, your heart feeling so full, warmth coursing through your veins as you'd realize that alessia had noticed your stack was running out, even going as far as to get them in colours you loved.
the papers would gently be thrown to the side as everything would click, you launching yourself at the blonde, arms coming to immediately wrap around her shoulders and neck as you'd bury your face in her neck.
your excited 'thank you' would be muffled with how tightly you were hugging her, your grin from earlier returning, only now it was nearly twice the size.
the blonde would chuckle gently at your delighted state, hugging you back with just as much enthusiasm, placing a gentle kiss to your temple just before you'd pull back, nearly shaking with elation.
placing a few loving kisses onto her lips you'd mumble another thank you in between them, pulling away once your couldn't contain your excitement.
and you'd rip into the new packaging, old papers be damned because your girlfriend got you these and they were immediately, undoubtedly the better papers now.
and eventually, as it would become time to check out of the hotel a few days later, alessia would find herself once again standing in the middle of the room, this time the whole room nearly taken over by butterflies, dragons (which you now finally mastered), toads, cranes, rabbits, stars, hearts, chains, and like twenty other things, some in various colours of the rainbow, and more than half of them made of the pastel origami sheets. (it was clear to see you had a favourite, evident by the way nearly half the pastel paper had already been used).
and then can we talk about how maybe you both would be coming back from a really tiring game, the whole engwnt sat on the bus, the two of you choosing to sit closer to the middle-front-ish area, alessia knowing you preferred the peace and quiet as you'd fold paper and calm down from the exhilarating events of the game.
so you'd sit there, a pair of wired earbuds shared between you two as the paper pad would be precariously balancing on your thighs, rattling with every bump and uneven surface of the road.
alessia would be sat beside you, watching you with a lovestruck face as you'd continue to do fold after fold, making something new this time, what it was, alessia didn't know, you wanting to surprise her.
what she did notice however was that you had two pieces of paper out, one that was her favourite colour, and one that was your favourite colour- surely that couldn't be a coincidence, right?
and as teammates saw you back at your usual task, very much accustomed to your tendency to relax by creating little items, they let you be, a few gently requesting you for a rabbit or dragon (stanway nearly begging you to make her dinosaur, pestering you until you had finally agreed with a quiet 'later' with a fond eye roll).
you'd been very much focused since though, head nodding along to the music, the familiar 'furrowed eyebrows' look on your face, tip of your tongue peeking out as you did meticulous fold after fold, tilting your body ever so slightly so alessia couldn't make out exactly what you were creating.
it was only when you were done, two small heart rings resting in the palm of your hand, one each in your and alessia's favourite colour, did you turn around, a bashful smile on your face as you hid the two papers in a loosely closed fist.
quickly scanning to make sure no one was watching, your fear of being teased for your sappiness emerging, your leg shook with nervous energy as you realized the coast was clear.
'i made you- us- i made us paper rings in our favourite colours.'
the words would come out slightly rushed, a soft blush coming to coat your cheeks as alessia's eyes widened in joyful shock,
'i'll get you a proper one eventually, this is just a promise of that in the meantime...'
and alessia would shrug at your words, a lovesick smile crossing her face as she'd examine the heart-shaped ring intently, absolutely adoring the way it rested on her hand, loving it more than any other jewellery she owned simply because it was made by you.
and placing the ring-clad hand up to rest on your cheek, the blonde would nudge you to look at her, bringing your faces close as she'd place a gentle but loving kiss on your lips, pulling back only a few centimetres as sky blue eyes would meet yours, her next words a whispered secret between you, eliciting twin smiles, lovestruck looks crossing both of your faces.
'as long as it's you i'm marrying, i'd happily do it with paper rings.'
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the movie was ADORABLE and it was QUEER and it was CHEESY and HAPPY and SILLY and CUTE and I LOVED it and I have some THOUGHTS and im going to put them here bc idk what else to DO
bad reputation playing after cakegate into the intro credits was the most slay choice
alex is a bracelets man send tweet
the closet scene at the hospital was such a slay 10/10 alex looking like a pissed off little kid the whole time like yeah buddy throw ur little temper tantrum we love to see it
they didn’t say fuck enough times in this movie they said it so many times in the book wtf like you had the r rating already just use it why would you not use it???
the timeline is hurting my brain they’re shifting stuff around I am questioning reality
rip obtuse fucking asshole
TZP 🫶🏻
HISTORY HUH BET WE COULD MAKE SOME IM CRYING
why did we invent miguel he’s a snake literally for why was he there
while we’re on the topic of miguel I disagree with having alex have been w him bc I think it takes away from his complete obliviousness and his thus huge moment of realization w henry so I think we get less of an alex finding himself and more of an alex exploring this part of him that he already knew was there which isn’t inherently bad for a film or book but I just always found alexs discovery of his queerness and the resulting shifting/understanding of things from his past to be such an important part of the book for me personally like just with the rearranging of things he’s always felt but never noticed or payed attention to is very special and gets lost when you give him this queer experience that he’s fully aware and understanding of
zahra for the win
THEMS ON THE BALCONY WITH THE CROWD OUTSIDE THE PALACE IM SO GLAD THEY DIDNT CUT THE CROWD
ugh the yellow rose tie I’m crying
THE FORCED CONFORMITY OF THE CLOSET CANNOT BE ANSWERED WITH FORCED CONFORMITY IN COMING OUT OF IT SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK IM FUCKING SCREAMING
okay so ur going to talk about alexs eyelashes but NOT give the line to henry excuse me????
“take the american with you” im dying at that
girl they called the election so fast ik things move faster in movies but here’s me knowing how LONG it takes in the book and the SUSPENSE and the ADRENALINE and then it was just over like that before you even know it like damn
uma thurman woman that you are 💗
so I was thinking ab when they do the new years count down and these random girls kiss alex and I’m like damn no what it’s supposed to be nora but you know what then I realized they just made nora into a sister figure for alex since they got rid of june so their relationship is and always has been 100% platonic
it was so slay of them to literally open the movie with alex being nervous and thinking he’s going to mess up at the wedding and get rejected like yes thank you for addressing this boys perfectionism and imposter syndrome head on from the very beginning this is the alex we know and love
putting alex and henry in the same room when they’re talking on the phone to each other was such a good choice I love it
they made this movie for the readers you have to know the LORE you have to understand how DEEP henry and alexs relationship is and you simply cannot get that in a two hour film but goddamn did they do a good job trying
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nburkhardt · 8 months
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There’s something off about Steve and Dustin can’t place it.
Ever since they got back from the upside down, Steve seems more… not better but more, relaxed? Comfortable? He doesn’t know exactly, just something different.
It’s not like Dustin has never seen Steve relaxed, he’s been over at his house sitting next to his cat and listening to his mom explain how to make the perfect fettuccine dish. Steve is already comfortable around him to be bitchy to him, calling out Dustin’s shit immediately.
This? This is different.
Steve is on the grass laying down, arms behind his head and legs crossed. He looks like he could be asleep but Dustin watches as Steve shakes his foot and sees his mouth twitch at whatever Eddie’s whispering in his ear next to him. Robin laughing on Steve’s other side, her feet resting on Steve’s legs.
Dustin can tell there’s a difference between how Steve is acting now versus how Steve is normally relaxed.
Something is different and he needs to know what it is and how he can make sure his best friend big brother is always this… whatever it is. He deserves it.
“Are you trying to explode them? Isn’t that El’s thing?”
He startles and looks over at Nancy, she’s standing there with silent judgment; Dustin has seen that look on Mike many times, even if he knows both Wheel isn’t afraid to voice their judgment either.
Looking back at the trio, Robin now laying down with her head on Steve’s stomach and Eddie mirroring Steve.
“No,” he answers and looks back at Nancy to find her now looking curiously at the trio, “Just wondering what’s up with Steve”
Nancy snaps her attention back to him and opens her mouth before closing it again, looking at the trio; looking at Steve. “He’s comfortable-”
“Yeah I know that, I want to know what’s up with this other- whatever it is.” He snaps, crossing his arms, “that’s more- he’s been like this since we all got back.”
She nods, quickly looking over again before sitting next to him, “I think, he’s safe.”
“Of course he’s safe! We defeated Vecna!” He doesn’t snap, but it’s bitchy and Nancy rolls her eyes at him, before looking back at the trio.
“I mean, he feels safer now. As in, he’s not on guard all the time. He can lay there with his eyes closed, with no weapon or walkie within reach. He’s not only comfortable and safe, he’s- Steve’s happy” Nancy explains and looks at him, going to cross her arms before letting them fall again, “with the upside down behind us, all of us are okay and here- so Steve’s happy and safe”
It makes him blink, dropping his own arms before looking back at Steve. He’s got to be asleep now, with the way his foot isn’t moving now and how Eddie and Robin are also not moving.
“You’ve never actually seen him like this have you?”
He goes to nod, only to realize that, no; no he hasn’t.
Sure, Steve looked relaxed sitting on his couch but now that Dustin’s thinking about it, Steve was twitchy. That he had a leg bouncing and how he picked the one spot that has view of every part of the room. He knows that Steve keeps the nail bat in his car, that it goes inside with him at home and work.
And now that it’s in his head, Dustin can see all the ways Steve was and how Steve is now.
Steve is content and for the first time in years, he is safe.
~
Uh. This wasn’t supposed to go like this? I was going to make this a thing involving Eddie’s necklace but this came out instead 🤷‍♀️
for me there’s a major difference between content and comfortable. Like, you can be comfortable but still on the edge you know what I mean??? But when you’re content… it’s just better?? Idk what trying to say. ANYWAY!!! This is Dustin wanting Steve like this always and hoping to like bottle it up lol.
Also this takes place after spring break, they defeated Vecna. Like a few months after. It’s also pre-steddie, because of course it is.
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