#like im in pain all the time and also autistic and also my cat is terminally ill

[dogbunni]

I have been on semi-haitus bc I recently got diagnosed with hypertension (at 24!!!! what da fuck!) so I've been trying to reduce some stress in my life while also trying to like figure out what I need to change diet/lifestyle wise and get all the testing done that I need to get done and figure out medication w my Dr. it's been kind of a lot

#im still SO stressed but that is because i suffer from shit life syndrome and there is little i can do about that #like im in pain all the time and also autistic and also my cat is terminally ill #and also i cant work because of the disabilities so im still living at home with my parents and idk what im going to do with my life #also living with my parents is a special kind of hell no offense to them but 🙃 #so the STRESS #i just realised that i was stressing a little about updating CTTD and i am NAUGHT going to worsen my health over fanfiction #so ive gone on an impromptu tumblr/ao3 haitus #idk when im going to be BACK back #but im still on here reblogging shit sometimes #just not rly making nendo headcanons or screaming in tags #i dont have the energy im SO stressed hahahahaha fuck #i have to get tested for diabetes??? #so my stepdad has been on my case about how much sugar i eat bc i always crave sugar #ive been trying to cut down like ive got zero sugar syrups for my (decaf!!!) coffees #and im trying to eat less chocolate #idk its hard man. my life already sucks and now my mundane little joys are slowly being cut out one by one #idk #anyways thats my life update! #saiki k fandom i love u all and i may not be active or in any of u guys notifs gushing about fan art or neno rn #but KNOW that i am still just as feral about it i am just half dead and so tired i am so sorry <3 #dogbunni diary log

[raggstorice]

FLASH HEADCANONS!

Where I take a fandom and give a Headcanon for Every. Single. Character.

Twisted Wonderland! #1

Here we go!

Riddle: whenever a bug lands on him he freezes. Just stops.

Ace: His parents always shut down his beliefs. Very much a 'Stay in line and You'll be fine' type of family. (If requested I will rant on my HC Ace backstory)

Deuce: He calls his mother every day and one day she just starts crying and is all like 'Im so proud of you. You've changed so much and I love you.' and Deuce started crying too.

Cater: Does not actually care that much about Magicam. He just needed something to base his personality off of.

Trey: Uses southern insults All. The. Time. People talk to him and he's just 'Well good for you!' and people think he's the nicest.

Leona: If you put a weighted blanket on him he will just fall over like that one scene in Lilo and stitch.

Ruggie: Knows everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Try to introduce him to someone new and he'll just be like 'OMG my old friend!' yeah.

Jack: Named his cactus Paula. Also Talks to it and uses it like a doll. (Like that one scene in DRDT)

Azul: His first experience with a land dweller was when he saw a coin fall from the surface and he followed it. There was a language barrier so he couldn't talk to them. He wonders how they're doing some days.

Jade: Had a bonding moment with Jack over their love for plants (mushrooms and cacti) also eats mushroom-spinach pizza (like me!)

Floyd: He bites. Also he's banned from playing against other schools in Basketball because of the sheer amount of fouls he gets. Jamil is so done.

Kalim: Will summon a rainbow to cheer someone up. He's precious.

Jamil: Doesn't actually hate Kalim. He just needs to be mad at someone. Oh also he cooks for the Basketball club and brings food to practice. Ace is his biggest fan.

Vil: Godly eye makeup. He's the one who gave Rook his feather in his hat.

Epel: Bad Ass Mother Fucker. He prefers to fight with his tounge rather than his fists. The only one to realize Trey's passive aggressiveness.

Rook: Will bring back fresh meat from his hunts. Him and Jade bring the best ingredients to the Cafeteria and no one knows.

Idia: one time he hid from people in an empty classroom for several hours after school. Ortho almost sent a search party.

Ortho: Spends hours analyzing his friends. Like as a hobby. He brings them perfectly planned gifts and they all love it.

Malleus: Lilia cuts his hair. He also polishes his horns. He secretly really enjoys Sebek's loyalty just wished he was quieter.

Silver: Takes care of the horses so well. They love him and will only accept food from him.

Sebek: He can be surprisingly quiet if you ask nicely. He gets loud again if he gets worked up. Autistic.

Lilia: He loves his sons. He ends up taking care of the whole Campus. No one in NRC can take care of themselves properly so he does it. Mockingbird by Eminem coded

Crowley: He shows up randomly and helps students. Lilia is taking a student to the infirmary? He's there and takes them for him. Leona is asleep in the botanical garden? Crowley kicks him away from the path. The teachers are so done with the chaos and are ready to combust? He's there. He will make the chaos worse and somehow contain it at the same time.

Crewel: He stays stocked up on potions ready to help any students that are ill, tired, or in any sort of pain. He will let you sleep in his classroom and will pull you into his office if he thinks somethings up. Many students have cried in front of him.

Trein: Will go out of his way to include history not taught in textbooks. Stuff about gay rights, racism, trans right, war crimes, fun facts about political leaders, etc. He does it all in the most monotone voice ever.

Lucius: The best cat. Used to be a stray wandering campus. Will bring gifts to students it likes. Recognized Leona as one of its own.

Vargas: Always down to help students. Oh you have Asthma? Good thing I have SEVENTEEN EXTRA INHALERS. You seem to be struggling a little why don't you sit down? Exercise without rest is as good as no exercise at all.

Sam: Will give freebies to students who need it. Oh you skipped lunch to study for a test? Good thing I have a sandwich just for you! Your pen broke? Which one do you want? Also will tell you all the tea.

Grim: Whenever he eats those blot crystals he suddenly knows all of the victims trauma which he reports to Yuu.

Yuu: Has serious conversations with Overblot victims. The best non licensed therapist.

Authors Note: It's 1:23 AM. I'm going to sleep.

#twisted wonderland #headcanons #grim twst #riddle rosehearts #ace trappola #deuce spade #cater diamond #trey clover #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #kalim al asim #jamil viper #vil schoenheit #epel felmier #rook hunt #idia shroud #ortho shroud #malleus draconia #twst silver #sebek zigvolt #lilia vanrouge #dire crowley #divus crewel #mozus trein #ashton vargas #twst sam

[freeshephoun]

please please please tell your adrian headcanons im so curious!!!!! and also maybe gordon and barney if you like :]

oh boy this is gonna be a lot. apologies for any misstypes in advance!!

click to read my thoughts on the 3

okay ffirst off shephard! shes tfem which is why i will be using she/her for her. also ahes filipino-american. shephard is autistic and mute and struggles to understand the people around her sometimes. it makes her upset when she doesnt.

its a reason why she is better with aliens. they dont work like humans do and it is easier for her to connect with them even when they dont speak the same language. and the bond she has especially with spore launcher is indescribable.

spore launcher (or spore for short) is a creature she found in the black mesa facility. its an alien that, when you feed it something, it can spit it out and it works basically like a grenade launcher. at first shephard had no idea what to do with that thing. he gave it a little pat on the head and it chirped and since then theyve been best friends. you can not tear them apart.

shephard has a lot of little cat scrstches feom spores spikey exterior aswell as some acid burns here and there. it comes free with having an alien friend/pet.

Shephard also managed to get spore into stasis. everything else was taken but she could keep spore. also coming to stasis ive got some thoughts on it.

while gordon was basically in a coma in stasis, Shephard wasnt. she didnt even have a choice what to do. she was just taken and detained. and since she was detained, gman didnt put her to sleep. shephard has been in that osprey for all this time. awake. if it werent for spore she would've probably gone insane.

being in stasis also fucked up her feeling of like everything. ypu dont get tired, exhausted, hungry or thirsty. you cant even feel pain or die.

(cw sensitive topic, bit similar to sh) in an attempt to feel anything she sometimes did some stupid shit. mostly punching or slamming her body against walls or purposefully touching spores acid. that reeeeally fucked up her perception of pain and her tolerance and it still shows afterwards. (cw end)

outside of stasis she still struggles with the perception of pain. it is pretty dangerous and she basically relies on gordon or barney to tell her hey you got fucked up bad we should get you first aid.

and sometimes when she sees it she spirals down into this specific feeling where everything feels like stasis again. when was the last time she ate? why does it feel so alone again why is it so quiet? why is akl she can hear her own mind?

shes going thru it🔥🔥

jumping a bit shephard doesnt like physical touch. shes very sensitive to it and gets overwhelemed by too much physical touch. her lovd languages are acts of service. she isnt good at comforting someone or showing her care for someone so openly. its more that she guards you when around you. makes sure youre safe. you need a moment of alone time? she will make sure no one bothers you.

my friend wrote a scene that describes it perfectly so ill quote it: "In the distance, the parade could be heard. At the entrance of the alleyway, Shephard seemed to stand guard, occasionally looking back at them as the parade passed by."

for tthe other 2 and their love languages: barney is the physical affection guy. giving and receiving. hes also good at comforting people just by being there. gordon on the other hand is good with giving words of affirmation. its his love language. and on the receiving is quality time (shephard too i forgot to mention)

they are very dear 2 me.

also their fighting styles. ive thought of it before and how it differs. gordon thinks, finds an answer that works and then executes it. shephard thinks a little but she mostly just acts on instinct. and barney? hes jus tlike yeah no thinking is for nerds watch me solo this guy. hes silly like that

my friend (again) made smthg that portrays this very well: "Gordon would calculate the triangulation before he threw a grenade over a wall. Shephard would stand on a box so she could throw it over the wall without hassle. Barney would just lob it and pray"

gordon is a very sarcastic man. barney understands his saecasm oerfectly but shephard struggles to do so which is why gordon avoids sarcasm around her.

shep and barney on occasions have their 5 minutes. kind of like zoomies. it usually ends in chaos because they tried something stupid again. which is why gordon rarely allows them in his lab. actually never. but barney will still come down when it gets late and gordon hasnt even been up to eat something and basically force gordon to stop for the day.

how? he just scoops gordon up and carries him out. batney is a security guard who survived the resonance cascade, the 7 hour war, manages to get through as underciver civil service despite the hard security measures of fhe combine aswell as fighting agains the combine and staying alive for all these years. that man is strong.

he wwouldnt mamage to carry both gordon and shephard though. thats what shep does. she carries them both with one arm.

this also reminds me shephard needs a routine. she can not do without one. you will see her follow the military training camp routine eeveryday. if she doesnt do it it messes up her whole day.

also wwhile i will draw them a lot probably in their hl clothes and not hl2 clothes, if thes would have ever met its definitely in hl2 or after. i jsut dont like drawing barneys combine outfit thats why.

Shephard was thrown into the hl2 universe by gman. maybe ill even incorporate return 2 ravenholm im this if i ever elaborate on that more. she builds up her own wa yof living there. the camera drones dont manage ti actually detect her due to her gas mask. they detect humans by having a face and if they don't? thats not a human then. she doesnt know that though.

she made herself st home in an outpost outside of city 17. it used to belong to the residtance but got raided by thr combine and has since then become abandoned. at ome point shephard manages to boot up the equipment there. she gains access to a lot of old information that was stored in this outpost.

the resistance of cours enotices shit wait an old outpost was activated again whats going on there. they send a group of people to investigate but urrm uh yeah didnt work out. shephard had a little ace up her sleeve (spore and her acid). but eith that they hope to confirm it is at least not the combine because they have never used that alien species as it completely ceased to exist after the black mesa incident.

im not too sure abt thid though the way this goes might change very well depending om what i feel like.

anyway uuh sheohard goes into the city to restock some supplies. she has some good connections at this point and has heard from the resistance. and well when she goes there to restock she meets barney.

this is btw like a place where they help out citizens who are struggling, often wanted by the combine. they live off donations, mostly coming from the resistance themself.

when barney sees shephard, this guy in a fucking military uniform hes just like. boy you coming with me now. and drags her to the resistance thingy there.

or something like that. not too sure about that at all. again might change however i feel like it

also i definetly forgot a ton of things but ive been writing this for 1 1/2 hours now. if you want to know more about specific things feel free 2 aks i LOVE sharing my freeshephoun thoughts with people

also as a treat here i drew them as the power piff girls once

#half life #hl talk #freeshephoun #infodump

[ramblingsofafanatic]

WIP Game

Thank you @martianbugsbunny and @seth-shitposts for tagging me (both here and my main account)! I've hit a bit of an art/writers block so maybe this will help me get out of it. (Please i have too many wips save me)

Rules: In a new post, list the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I have quite a bit so i'll organize them below a read more, because ive decided to hell with it have the name of all 61 of my wip files from various fandoms xD. Theyre not all like the official title - just the document names.

Also since I have so many WIPs, i am tagging anyone who sees this and wants to do it! I'm being serious if no one else has tagged you directly please take this as your opportunity to talk about your wips (and like you can tag me as the person who tagged you so i can ask you about your wips? please?)

We will put these in the order of what i think will be most interesting to people, not necessarily the order of my personal interests rn lol

Kalluzeb:

1. Part 4 - I Love You (I Know You 'verse)

2. Adoption fic

3. Autistic!Kallus

4. Bedtime

5. Caf Shop AU

6. Lasat-Cat Likeness

7. part-time soulmate, full time problem

8. are you okay?

DinLuke:

9. "You will be the end of me"

10. A merry, crackling fire

11. Assassination attempt

12. Bed rest

13. Broken bone

14. Chronic pain

15. Crying

16. Death of a sibling

17. Identity Crisis

18. Imposter Syndrome

19. Loneliness

20. Making Out

21. Scars

22. Sleeping on the couch

23. Social Anxiety

24. Warm Blankets

Newmann:

25. Taking Care

26. There are many benefits to being a marine biologist

Danbert:

27. Dan doesn't need to know. but he finds out anyways.

28. Dan praise kink testing

29. Herbert Nightmares

30. Megan's brother

31. puns

PatCap

32. Professors!AU

Codywan:

33. ORDER 66 BECAUSE PAIN

34. Royalty/Bodyguard AU

Obikin:

35. Modern!AU

Hankcon:

36. Baked With Love

Good Omens:

37. Season 2 fix-it

TBB

38. Platonic Techo

Balaine (my oc world)

39. Valyra and Nomi

40. Cities and Towns Descriptions

41. Customs and Rituals Ideas

42. History of Balaine

Other Original Stories

43. Adalia

44. Dear Ceylan

45. Nick Of Time

46. Favourite Record

Thrawn x Reader

47. Empire Doesn't Have Sick Days

48. Looking For This?

TBB x Reader (really inventive titles with these ones)

49 The Tech Hug Research Proposal

50. Crosshair 1

51. Echo 1

52. Hunter 1

53. Tech 1

54. Wrecker 1

Kallus x Reader

55. kallus x reader

Prequels

56. anakin x reader

57. anakin x padme x reader

58. would you do the same for me? (obiwan x reader)

The Sandman:

59. 5 times you kiss morpheus and 1 time he kisses you

Shame fics (its piss kink im sorry)

60. Shame xD (Kalluzeb)

61. Listen... dont read this filth (Danbert)

AND DONE!! Bet you thought i was lying about the 61 wips huh? i was tempted to cut out quite a bit of these but as i said earlier: fuck it have fun go for it, plenty to choose from.

#dawson talks too much #please dont scroll down to the bottom of the list if you know me outside of tumblr/ao3 #i doubt ill get any asks - but my word please help me i have too many WIPs!!! TOO MANY!!

[tavvattales]

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, I need your help!"

She/her

Romantic, I’m straight so guys

I love horror, cats and creepy stuff. I also love sweets. I don’t have a favorite food .

I don’t like fancy puff dresses, girly stuff. People who don’t like cats.

I have a high pain tolerence. And I don’t get grossed out easily. Im autistic so I prefer someone who’s quiet. I don’t like Crowded places and I love to travel. Im fearless.

Thx again

Hello sweetie pie~ Thank you for choosing Rebby's Matchmaking services!

Let's see here. . .

I match you with~

Xiao

Not being very big on sweets, there was one dessert the two of you shared your love with and it was Almond Tofu. Snuggling up on a nice rainy day, and eating this sweet treat was a common occurrence between you two.

Jumping onto the couch next to Xiao, you peer out the window behind you, "Xiao, it's raining. . ." you say in awe because you acknowledged that it was time for your favorite quality time with him.

"So it is," Xiao murmurs, glancing your way with a soft smile, "But what about it?" he says in jest, a soft chuckle escaping his lips.

Tossing a pillow gently his way you couldn't help but pout, "Almond Tofu time!!" you exclaim, "And you better prepare for the best cuddling session you've ever had," you say, grinning widely.

"You say that every time," Xiao says matter of factly.

"H-hey-"

Before you could finish he cuts you off, "And every time gets better and better."

Xiao may be quiet, but that also doesn't stop him from speaking his mind, causing him to be quite protective over you. He can be quite fussy, but he just wants you to be safe, that's all.

Gathering up your bag, you start heading towards the front door, but Xiao stops you, "Hey. You have everything you need, right? Did you double-check everything?" he asks, worry lingering in his voice, his golden eyes gazing softly at you.

"Xiao, I even checked it three times; you have nothing to worry about. I'll be just fine, I promise. Besides, I'm just going into town for groceries," you say reassuringly, grasping one of his hands gently, giving it a loving squeeze.

"Yes, but there have been hillichurls sighted along the road-"

You're quick to cut him off, "I can handle my own, you know this," leaning upwards you give him a quick kiss to his cheek, causing him to become flustered.

"J-just call my name if you run into any trouble, okay? I love you, be safe. . ."

As Xiao became more comfortable with you he became quite the storyteller, knowing full well you adored horror stories. Late nights, just snuggling as you listen to his voice were your favorite.

Yawning loudly, you stretch into your lover, lazily draping your arm across his chest as you cuddle into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent, "You always tell the best stories~," you say softly, making circles on his chest with your fingers, stroking him lovingly.

"Hmm, is that so?" Xiao asks quizzically, kissing the top of your head, "I'm glad. .but no more today; I can tell you're getting tired."

"Awh, just one more? Pleasseee?" you plead, giving him a puppy dog stare, fluttering your eyes up at him, "Your voice is so soothing. . .I'd love to fall asleep to it."

"Alright, alright, just stop whining, silly girl," he smirks, ruffling your hair gently as he continues where he left off, his voice causing you to drift into a deep slumber.

#rebby rambles #genshin impact #genshin impact fandom #rebby writes #genshin impact fanfic #rebby replies #genshin impact fluff #genshin matchups #genshin xiao #genshin impact xiao #xiao x reader #xiao fluff #adeptus xiao

[adhddarling]

auctober huge post

hello, i have decided to speed run doing the auctober thingy because i am bored and need to do something. so, let's get down to it.

STIMS omg where do i start. i fucking love stimming. my main stims i do with my hands. flapping, moving my hands in fists, doing crab claws, tippy tappy fingers, touching nice textures, doing a surfer dude hand thing and shaking my hand, etc. most of my stimming is done using my body, but i also love visual stims! i'm very picky about what visual stims i like, though.

INFO DUMPING im a pain in the arse for this. thank god for my partner who puts up with my constant info dumping. my current interests are the gnostic gospels, and ancient christian religion as a whole. my long term SpIns have been greek mythology, the victorian era and anatomy.

COLLECTIONS i collect books, stationery, and crystals! i love all of them so much. i kinda have an issue with stationery, particularly pens, because my dyspraxia makes my handwriting terrible so i much prefer to type- however, i keep buying pens i don't need!

ANIMAL FRIENDS i love dogs, when i'm not overstimulated. i prefer stuffed animals to real ones, though. cats make me happy, because of their general chill-ness, and they're much more palatable when i'm having a hard time as they require less attention and are less stimulating.

MUSIC my biggest obsession is music. i love most genres, i love all different types of music. i usually hyperfixate on a song that i then listen to for days, and then move onto a new one when the previous one stops being stimulating. the only time i don't want to listen to music is literally only when i'm having a meltdown.

STIM TOYS stim toys are awesome! i love fidget cubes and tangles, but like chewellery the most.

HYPERFOCUS god, the stuff i've got done when i'm hyperfocused. i did all of my studying for my a level exams (british exams for the last year of school before university aged 18 ish) in about a week, and i hyperfocused SO FUCKING HARD. i forgot to eat, forgot to drink, didn't sleep much, just worked. i do not endorse this behaviour, i was horribly burnt out after. however, hyperfocus can be a superpower! i've had some of my best creative ideas when i'm hyperfocusing.

DIVERSE i think it's really important that the autistic community, and more widely the neurodiverse community, is more inclusive of poc who are autistic. there's a serious problem with the whitewashing of autism, partially down to media representation and also due to misdiagnosis of autistic people of colour with other disorders.

COMFORT FOOD bread <33 chicken nuggets <33 chips <33 pasta <33 rice <33 anything plain and not overwhelming.

SELF-CARE god, self-care is difficult. i procrastinate doing self care all the time, even with basic hygiene. something that helps me is having a sticker chart for when i complete basic self-care tasks like brushing my teeth, showering, etc.

NEURODIVERGENT COMMUNITY there's a lot of problems with the nd community, but also a lot of positive aspects. i find misinformation is a big problem, especially on tiktok- like, sitting with your hand under your chin does not make you autistic (genuinely seen someone say this). however, the spreading of awareness that autism doesn't just present as a white cis straight boy with a genius level IQ and who acts 'robotic', and instead that autism presents itself in lots of different ways, especially in women and AFAB people.

SENSORY EUPHORIA woodpecker. sounds. i can't express to you, how happy this sound makes me.

ALTERNATIVE COMMUNICATION i use sign language when i lose speech, and also write things down. i'm privileged to not lose speech regularly, only when i'm very overwhelmed, and so i only really use these methods of alternative communication when i need to.

VERBAL STIMS i like to copy tiktok sounds, tbh, and famous vines. it's fun. i also say 'beep', buzz like a bee, and make other sounds that would not be considered neurotypical when i'm happy.

AU-DHD i have both autism and adhd, and having both makes it so that for some of my behaviours it is difficult to identify where they come from. what's helped me is learning to accept that it doesn't matter exactly what disorder causes which symptom, but instead learning how to cope with the symptom itself, if that makes sense? having autism and adhd can feel very polarising at times, with two disorders that can feel like they conflict so often, but with proper management life can get easier.

UNMASKING i'm working on this one. as a moderate support needs autistic, to some extent, i can't mask. i can't appear neurotypical all the time. even when i'm masking as hard as i can, people can still notice that there's something different. this has caused me a lot of self hatred and internalised ableism, which is something i'm working with a therapist to undo.

SENSORY PROFILE i flip-flop between being sensory seeking and sensory avoidant. depends on whether i'm under or overstimulated, tbh.

LGBTQ+ i identify as queer, and pansexual as a collective. due to being a system, my gender is all over the place, but i like xenogenders and neopronouns a lot.

ECHOLALIA i used to get in so much trouble for doing this. learning that suppressing my stims like echolalia could lead to an increased risk of burnout has led to a wakeup call for me, and has really helped me to learn to accept who i am and the way i stim.

SPECIAL INTERESTS greek mythology, ancient religion, the victorian era.

COMFORT MEDIA good omens, doctor who, marauders era harry potter (fuck jk tho)

SELF-ADVOCACY unfortunately, being autistic and afab has meant that i've had to really learn to advocate for myself while with medical professionals. it's a difficult journey, and i wish so much love and support to anyone going through the medical system.

DISABLED i identify as disabled, and also Mad. disabled isn't a bad word. there is nothing wrong with disabled people. we exist, we take up space, and we have inherent worth.

OKAY I'M DONE FOR NOW. HAVE A GOOD DAY Y'ALL.

#ADHD #autism #neurodiversity #audhd #nd #auctober #auctober 2022

[changeling-droneco]

I was listening to Patricia Taxxon's On the Ethics of Boinking Animal People for the millionth time and it made me want me to draw my fursonas for the first time in ages

The cat is Bravery and they represent the past, the young autistic kid who wanted a sense of control and comfort denied to them in real life. Floating through life trying to figure out the ethics of what it means to simply exist when you have the power to do anything but when you choose to just watch the world instead. A cat desperate for community, for touch, for warmth, all representing a sense of freedom and the ability to simply choose one's destiny. Despite being a shapeshifter they stick to a familiar shape, a familiar set of clothing never growing, dreaming for more but still at the end of the day a domesticated animal. Content, but contained. (All Pronouns)

The butterfly is Ione and they represent the future, the autistic young adult who wants to explore all the things they were denied due to mental illness and ableism, to learn how to do the things they think they missed the chance to do, resembling delicacy and change but also blood, fragile but not pure, soft but not dainty. Kind but not weak. Who fears going outside faer's comfort zone but also craves change, to adapt, to grow. Sometimes it fails, sometimes the outfit doesn't work or the makeup doesn't dry right or the wig looks weird, and even if the movement is slow, they're finally moving, learning to accept that pain. Fae may only have one physical form but what they can do with it is an endlessness they're learning to embrace. Flying free in a way I was never able to really conceptualize and still struggle too (Fae/They)

They are friends, and they are stimming together

Some days I am Bravery, other days I am Ione, I am both my past and my future at the same time. Im glad I met these two versions of me, I hope in the future I can meet me again and over and over again until I feel like I am me fully and truly.

(Also if you're curious Ione is a Blue Holly)

#my art #furry #autism #this has been three am thoughts

[incrediblesweatermachine]

i love how nobody i live with puts any effort into thinking about how their words and actions might make me feel or like considering how i might feel and how that might affect MY words and actions. it is such a good and healthy environment i love it ❤️ as an autistic person i find it super helpful to live with people who never say what they mean and assume that i am also not saying what i mean even though i say exactly what i mean all the time except when im using my therapy training to hold my tongue and not say something mean and maybe everyone could fucking get on board with this it is NOT that hard to be straightforward. and just say what your problem is because honestly if someone has a problem with something im doing or saying i cant wver explain myself and then people will just be mad at me or judging me without ever considering that maybe i have a reason for what im doing. also it fucking sucks that i try to offer like practical solutions to shit that ACTUALLY considers everyones stated and perceived feelings and opinions. but when im having an issue and could use some solutions everyone is like trying to make my problem disappear from view and not actually be solved. They just dont want to see my problems not actually like. solve them in any way. or actually help me solve them myself. its clear that my grief doesnt matter my depression doesnt matter my feelings dont matter except for the ways in whicj they make people feel uncomfortable. i told my dad i was suicidal and he told me he was more worried about other stuff and i shouldnt say that to him. it didnt matter that i was in so much pain that i didnt see any other options than ending my life it mattered that HE was uncomfortable discussing it. it doesnt matter that it hasnt even been a week since my extremely beloved cat died because everyone else is over it. the flowers my relatives sent me are still FRESH but i should be over it and back to normal. even though i havent missed any work and ive tried to get at least one thing done every day outside of work and cooked for everyone multiple times its somehow not enough. and on top of that im in so much physical pain its unbelievable. im consistently at like a 6 or 7 and completely stiff and have a hard time walking or anything but if anyones concerned they sure havent shown it!!!!! i try really hard every day and i do what my mom asks me to as much as i can and i try to be kind and polite and it just doesnt fucking change anything

#listening to my dad everyday just reinforces my misandry ngl!!!!!

[mushroom-ooooooooooooooo]

This is like...sooo tmi so if you see me on a daily basis like,,,irl. Like at school. Pls dont read this.

Cw: weird mental health stuff/ me talking about low motivation

So basically its the time of year where my body just shuts down. My bones feel like lead, it takes forever for me to get out of bed, and I just generally feel like crap. I love winter but the physical toll its taking on me this year is actually driving me wild. I woke up this morning and genuinely couldn't move my arm for 10 minutes because my bones just feel so heavy. And my joints are getting worse too. I can hear my ankles and knees popping every single time I walk, but especially when I walk upstairs. And most of my classes are upstairs at school. And my immune system also gets weaker, and because of that my psoriasis gets worse. I literally just go to school and then rest.

And thats a problem because my parents both have a physical disability. So all the chores go onto me. But guess who can't do them because I'm fucking depressed and in physically pain constantly? Me. My back constantly seizes up and i literally needed my dads help throwing taking the trash out the other day. I can barely stand long enough to do a "simple" load of dishes. (Simple meaning one for the deep clean we do of our kitchen every 3 months. Its gross. I wish they would rinse their dishes out.)

And all of this is affecting my mental health really badly. This probably sounds gross but I'm just now taking a shower. Its been 3 weeks. And I know its not their fault, but one of my friends made an off-handed comment one day and that made me feel a million times worse. And I've been really snappy lately and I feel so bad about it constantly. And my mom and I think I was misdiagnosed with ptsd because I dont exhibit any symptoms and honestly never did. Autism and ptsd share symptoms and I just dont think I have ptsd from whats happened in my past. And my brother also thinks he may be autistic. Autism also runs in our family, so...yeah.

I also feel like shit because I haven't been taking as good care of our cats as I should be. I love them and want to see them happy, but my parents also refuse to help clean their litter boxes. And thats the big thing I struggle with. And one of our cats has been doing their business on the floor. No matter how many times we clean it up,she still does it. And its really irritating, but i also think she just...cant get into the box. She's like...12-13 and I've been trying to get my parents to buy better things for the cats. We have 4. And we dont even have a cat tree for them. And my cats love climbing. They would have so much fun crawling on a cat tree. And I cant do anything about it because im a highschool student who cant even get a job. I don't even have my drivers learners permit yet.

And that's another thing!! I honestly think my parents are done parenting. My brother went off to college, and everything fell onto me. And like I understand that my parents work hard and that they're older (mom is 54 almost 55 and dad is 52 almost 53) and they need to rest but god damn. Im still a child. Most people arent the sole cleaner, cooker, and pet caretaker. Most people my age don't make grocery lists for their parents. Most kids my age focus on their part-time jobs and school. They actually did stuff before my brother went to college. I just want them to understand how I feel about it. I like cooking and I dont mind cleaning, but it becomes a problem when im the only one doing it. And yeah, I get $50 in allowance every month, and I'm grateful that my parents are able to afford to give me that much, but my mom always pulls the "we give you allowance for chores,". Chores is things like un/loading the dishwasher, taking the trash out, cleaning litter boxes, making bed, ect. Not cleaning the entire trainwreck of a kitchen by yourself and trying to make sure the floor is clean before your friend comes over for the first time in months. They're not parenting anymore, and it makes me upset. I feel like im just a random person in their house. Genuinely, my mom spends more times working on her acrylic nails than actually parenting. And she wonders why I get so irritated with her. She says hi to the cat before she does me.

And I don't even know if my dad likes me anymore. I think im just another financial burden to them. Im just a depressed high schooler with chronic illness who can't even go to school everyday. I feel so useless. I dont even know if I want to go to college. I don't even know how I have friends. I'm not a nice person. I get mean and defensive really easily, and my teasing turns mean really quickly.

I don't know why I am this way. Am I cursed? Is someone even reading this? All I do is shut people out and listen to music. I don't know why I became so rude. I just want to be remembered. But at the same time, I don't think I'm worth remembering. I'm not exceptional at anything. Even my once okayish writing has gone down greatly. I used to get praise for my reading skills and now I can't even read a 300 page book.

I feel so gross and useless and im depressed. How worse can it get? Im also extremely paranoid. I constantly feel like people are judging my every move. Even when im alone in the shower. I still feel people watching me. I should've probably told my therapist about that when I was still in therapy but my dumbass didn't even think to talk about that. Just that oh i saw my friend. Oh i started public school again. You know what? No one cares. And I probably wasted my therapists time. And my dads. Having to drive me across houston just to see her. No wonder no one likes me. Im fucking irritating. Thats why I have 3 friends at school. And 3 friends out of school. And one of them doesn't talk to me anymore, and another lives out of city.

The other is wonderful and amazing and I want them to constantly be happy and comfortable but I cant do that at my house because my parents don't help. Im starting to realize im kind of like a live in cleaner. Thats all I ever do in my freetime. Cleaning up after my parents. My mom acts like shes 15 and my dad doesn't rinse his dishes.

Thats another thing. Along with them not really parenting anymore, I think they've given up on me. Specifically on trying to get me to school. I miss school about once a week to once every couple weeks because I have bad flare ups. As I'm typing this, I can feel my legs aching. It hurts. And it makes it hard for me to go to school like that. The last time I did my back starting seizing during UIL rehearsals. And I couldn't leave. But today was one of those days and I genuinely felt like crap. My dad just agreed and didn't argue. Normally he argues with me about it because "I need to suck it up and do what the rest of us do.". I understand that everyone hurts and has bad days, but I genuinely get so bad during those days. And everyday has been one of those days for the last 6 months. But my parents don't really discipline me. They don't track my every move. They dont even make grocery lists anymore. Or really go to the store often. But our fridge and pantry is filled with a bunch of junk. Leftovers, empty foods that need to be thrown away, and literally so much more.

My mom is also a hoarder and constantly buys new things for herself. Like with her nail stuff. Im glad shes got something going for her outside of work, but why does she need 50 different glitters? I guess one could argue that im the same way with paints, but I dont leave my paints all over the living room area. And she literally has so much clothing. And most of it is on her floor. Its almosy unwalkable and I constantly stumble in her room. And our garage is filled with mostly her stuff. Clothes, old books, even her teacher stuff. Why does she have so much??

It irritates me because she'll say she doesn't have money for something, such as a cat tree, but then buy like...$200 worth of clothes and makeup at walmart, when we could've bought groceries and a cat tree with that. She just...irritates me idk.

Anyways, yeah. I think this is long enough for now. Goodmorning, goodnight, good...whatever idfk. Remember to drink water and eat something.

[tortoisesforhire]

I need to ramble and just...put some thoughts down.

I think I finally understand all the ways he disappointed me. I know he would say that I'm a liar because I am a lesbian and I didn't figure that out until five years in so that must mean I was lying about being attracted to him, as if it could ever be that simple. He would say I'm cruel cause I have hurt him and his pain is more important than mine. He would say how dare I take the cat without consulting him but he's my cat, we got him together but I paid for him, I took him to the vet and it is my name on the paperwork. Whatever. All of that, that's just details after the fact.

I could say he's repressed, which is true, but that's not it. I could say he was manipulative and borderline financially abusive, which is also true but I don't think a conscious choice on his part. At least I hope not. But what really hurt me what really bothered me and is the burning ember of my rage in retrospect..he never respected me. I am so tired of being disrespected.

I don't mean in the boomer way, I don't crave authority. He treated me like a child, he talked to me like I was a child. Every time I tried to connect, tried to resolve emotional issues or bring something up he would regard me with an air of indulgence, the true adult in the relationship pandering to my immaturity. Even after the break up "Im not going to take care of you anymore" as though I need a caregiver, instead of a partner.

It would hurt less if he were the only one. If it was just him, just his behavior, a one off that can be attributed to his own fucked up insecurity and repressed emotions. But it's not. He's not the only one. Every day I am professionally ignored, belittled and talked down to. Romantically over and over again my partners have treated me as though I am incapable, stupid, childish, silly and young. Not good enough. Do you know how infuriating it is to be treated like you're not good enough when you didn't even know you were supposed to be proving something?

I just don't understand why? What is it about me that reads as incompetent and in need of some kind of babysitter? I'm twenty eight years old, I have traveled to five different countries on my own. I have survived sexual assault, mental, emotional and physical abuse. I have been desperate and starving, I have rebuilt myself from the ground up and I did it, all of it, by myself. I am a professional, I have a career and I am damn fucking good at it.

So I don't understand where this impression comes from? Is it because I'm short? Because I look younger than I am? Because I am anxious or easy going by turns? Should I have firmer boundaries? Is it some kind of autistic vibe I put out that marks me as 'Other'?

Just because I am anxious doesn't mean I am incapable. Just because I am autistic doesn't mean I am stupid. Just because I have a ADHD doesn't mean I can't get shit done. Whatever the reason is I am done. It's bullshit and I'm done.

You want to know the truth? I am, mostly, a lesbian. I don't find men attractive generally speaking. But I was with him for five years, I loved him, I was attracted to him. He was my exception. But how can I find someone attractive when they do not respect me enough to treat me like an equal? Like a partner? Instead of a fucking dependent.

It's not worth it to say any of this to him because he wouldn't understand. I'm not kidding about the emotional repression, it's like trying to explain calculus to a toddler. Which reminds me, not that he'll ever read this but by the way; I am not a 'social worker' I'm a crisis mental health counselor, and that is not a lesser job just because it isn't physically demanding you puffed up self important misogynistic prick. Go to therapy. Get help, for the love of god. I really do hope you get better.

#and lars #i know you were spying on me #i know you have lurked on my blog before #i dont know what you did to my phone but I'm pretty fucking certain you hacked it somehow and were reading my shit #thats not normal #thats not okay #you need help

[bandofchimeras]

posting a lot rn sorry Im gonna readmore this vent that is a standin for next therapy session

i have a lot of trauma from losing my last few housing situations over interpersonal conflict and not having enough money or being good at managing my money. I was too ashamed to ask for what I needed until it was desperate and I had no options.

I have big decisions to make that are producing so much anxiety. and am burnt out. but also grateful and astounded at the miracle that is life.

so can't handle small talk right now. my whole chest is splitting open with the need to be somewhere I feel loved and safe bc I know who tf I am now....but knowing I have to make these next moves out of my own initiative

somewhere deep in my brain I know this isn't all my fault but I had to stop victim thinking to get myself out of the Hole and consequently just Shut Up about the Pain

the last people I lived with really wanted me to shut up and conform perfectly to the anxiously controlled life they'd constructed bc I was there temporarily

and for my part I was in depression self centered funk and coming out of abuse too brainfoggerd to remember the rules

One of them is a former mutual and he was also a transmasc person I had a crush on and we had a short little Thing

what they ended up doing was 1000% shitty asshole stuff like kicking me out in the middle of winter after I communicated I was in too much pain from moving in and work, and requested a two week extension, and trying to charge me illegal "storage fees" when I needed time to get my stuff after being kicked out.

my discord friends had to help me parse that these people were not my friends and did not care about me at all. I thought they did. but the guilt they laid on thick and blamed me for their actions has been dragging around my ankles for awhile and I just want to shake it off, I want to be okay and not soaked in guilt like milk toast

the situation also led to my car being stolen, getting in a crash, my cats health severely declining until she passed away this spring. just fucking wrecking ball on everything I was attached to for any sort of comfort or sense of reality.

Right before that my long term job that was....dubiously ethical, my sort of boss fired me in a similarly guilting way, and similarly could see exactly why they had a problem with me but I just, at the time I simply could not show up how I needed to. Not killing myself was an accomplishment. And this boss was deeply prejudiced against autistic people despite running a group home. I genuinely hated her guts for how miserable she made everyone around her while also recognizing I wasn't doing much better.

anyways through this time period kitchen work has become this attachment that toughens me up and feels doable while my brain is inflamed, despite being shit for my disabled body. I can't shake free quite. I don't have a permanent house and all my friendships feel weird and troubled in that way only mutual survivors of emotionally neglectful or abusive families and religious trauma can, like every thing I do or say can be wrong, or isn't giving someone enough attention or isnt the response they want or is bad bad bad bad

and so yeah, making new friends is hard

letting people in feels impossible

looking for decent jobs too

I'm not a mess in the way I have been but it's all messy inside and I'm sad and tired and very hypersensitive to rejection, every day breaks and makes me again and I miss writing and loving and feeling good

I thought pride would be so fun and make me feel better. It was cool in a lot of ways, but also grimly corporate and fangless and expensive, there were a ton of missed connections and the couple I went with was being nitpicky and hurtful to each other and even at the club dressed to the nines and dancing my little gay heart out I felt disconnected and ignorable (maybe it's just a Seattle thing, moving from a small-town environment into big urban reminds you you're nothin special all in all) and couldn't see the magic

I miss my ex or at least keep seeing stuff that reminds me of caring about her in that specific way and the bridge we tried to build across everything despite it all and I know we still care about each other just couldn't stop the fucking awful Bullshit, moving on would be easier if I could just dismiss people entirely

and at work things started falling apart too, my boss got super guilt happy at overworked caregivers and I lost all respect for him and was mega triggered and posted about it and embarrassed myself. theyre more okay I guess but everyone seems so demoralized and worn down by being criticized and used up and overcharged and under loved and I don't want to give any more right now, I want to rest rest rest and make art and I can't let myself while I'm living in someone's living room and both of us are working around eachothers mood disorders

meanwhile my family while making progress is still on about how I have to accept criticism of my gender identity if I want to talk to them about the harm done by their religious ideology and MEANWHILE I develop deep feelings for yet another unavailable cis man for bare minimum shit

i don't know I guess it feels like other people know how to have friends and love and enjoy things and I am missing the boat and if I don't change something indistinguishable super fast, it will be too late for me and I will continue to ruin every good thing that comes my way and.magnetically attract trouble

and it doesn't help that my attempts to connect online also feel desperate and awkward like I'm really a sick puppy who wants headpats but aren't we all they say

some days I do think overall it would be easier to Kermit but I can't do that to my siblings AND there are many buoyantly beautiful things bout life I am looking forward to like top surgery and kissing boys like I mean it which someday will feel real and not like a knife twist in the chest

also I haven't got enough sleep lately and my period came back so hopefully this stupid shit is more bearable in a few days I'm just gonna watch OFMD and hug myself to sleep and literally kill anyone who is a hater about the tiny things that bring me joy bc I am fucking doing my best out here to stay afloat and not yuck other people's yums either

#personal #i wanna say BPD but also just #too much shit happening #also my fuck ass ex employer has nog emailed me back about my tax documents #which i need to get my return #everything is too much i really do want and need a hug #suicide mention

[crimsun-n-clover]

life’s been either monotonous or painful. i keep trying to focus on other shit but everyone i know fucking flakes or drains me.

i haven’t played dungeons and dragons in a fucking MONTH. every week i get my stuff all ready and plot everything out and try and expect what each player will do, and every week someone isn’t there. it’s usually not their fault and it’s not like i blame them but it’s my favorite thing and everyone else just doesn’t care that much. i want more players and better players, but every other player at the school is in a party and also probably actually homophobic or something. every party has at least one person who gave me shit as a kid or even recently and i’m not letting them ruin something i enjoy or get close to my party.

i just sleep through everything. i woke up at 3 today because mom called me to remind me i have dnd after school. or not but whatever. i’m just casually fucking miserable. i may have good times but i sure do have a lot of bad times.

did i post about how i kinda told my parents that my friend breakup with sugar was more than that? it was hard but it really explained a lot to them. i covered the basics but i don’t like talking to straight people about the nuances of gay relationships. you can’t just get into them a lot of the time and they never get that.

everyone around me is suffering and i can’t stop it. im just as upset as they are.

every week is just counting days.

monday- band practice with punk band

tuesday- dnd if anyone can ever fucking show up

wednesday- band practice with metal band

thursday- therapy

i wanna get away from this. i don’t even know what this is. i just need to leave and stay gone for a while.

i’m thinking about saving up to buy a trailer to get out as soon as fucking possible. i don’t think i’d fare well in an apartment and god knows the housing market wants us all dead. just somewhere i can sleep and put my instruments and comic books. somewhere i can invite the kiddos when they need to get away from their homes. somewhere i can make my own from the ground up with all my little collections of things and stupid posters. hell i’d even paint a dnd battle grid onto the kitchen table so i can run campaigns with less set up.

i sound like a goddamn hobbit but wouldn’t it be nice to have a little hole in the ground to come home to surrounded by gardens? with the occasional bout of relaxed partying and getting stoned in the middle. trade little gifts and dance around constantly. i wanna live in the fuckin shire. jesus christ. writing this shit out i’m worse than i thought.

i know i’d have to keep a lot of my stuff in storage. i may be a cave dwelling creature but my cave is fucking STUFFED. a lot of books, guitars, hobby related shit, stupid trinkets, hoards of blankets, all that.

there is some stuff i’m snatching from my parents. they have a nice coffee machine that they don’t use, too many fucking mugs, and vinyls dad won’t notice are missing for a little bit. plus i’ve been snatching pairs of pliers out of the garage as a form of psychological revenge, so i’ll probably have a whole box of them by then.

i’m worried that my cat won’t like it. i’ll try and put in a lot of things he can scratch at and give him sole high up places to look down upon me from but he’s one prissy bastard. well not really but he’s a lot like me. he’s picky and acts like someone who’s autistic. he likes to be up high and to have things that make noises. he picks fights he can’t win and sleeps through anything my that bores him. so the place i’m constructing in my head is an incredible fit for me, but i’m not sure if that’ll be good for him too.

i just did way too much research and what i want is in the 30-40k range, 200-400 monthly.

it’s not great but not too fuckin bad if it means getting out

[weaponsdrawn]

☕️

What sequel you’d want for Jackbox pack 9, and what sequel you think is the most likely. Mines trivia murder party for the former and ydkj for the latter.

OHOHOHO PACK 9 TALK TIME HUH??? HELL YEAH ok so same here, GOD i want TMP3 to be real SOOOO BADLY, like tis been years since we've seen our genderqueer boyboss whos also a malewife at the same time, Jackbox, i want them back!!! dkajwdjkafkjae,, plus it'd be interesting to see how they continue the little arc set up in TMP2. like is redac just forever taking care of the hotel now? did they ditch it BECAUSE of all the painful memories about their parents and stuff that it brought up? LIKE I WANNA KNOW!!!! i already kinda have my own post-TMP2 hcs, but they mostly boil down too "redac remakes the murder hotel in their own image and tries to run it as a legit business now and also kisses an alien and a demon and a cave witch" but thats all sappy sillyness XD. and if we wanna get REALLY crazy, i would like Zeeple Dome 2,, PLEASE jackbox PLEASe iknow its jsut angery birds but space but PPLEASEEEEEE I WANNA SEE MY BLORBO GLARGAN AGAIN PLEASEEEEE WHATS HE UP TOO!!! WHAT THE BLORBO DOING!!!!? in terms of which one is most likely, I dont rlly know tbh. Jackbox has thrown curveballs at us before tbh (like i never thought we'd get a drawful animate, but its nice that dot is now part of the threequel gang with cookie and schmitty, they're once again a trio!!! ^w^), i agree with you about YDKJ, but at this rate i dunno. tbh im kinda secretly hoping for a split the room 2, and i could see that happening. best outcome would be if it had poopsie as a co host! i wanna see the sibiling shenagins from those two!!! esp since i hc poospie is all hyper and goofy and stuff, great contrast to Mayonnaise "I Do Not Control The Constant Flat Tone" Masterson <3 (and yes i also hc both of them are autistic. when the cats have autism!!! (EPIC))

#queenie.txt #long post #jackbox games #WOOF this was a lot lol #i have a lot of opinions XD

[miss-kittyy]

🌌 for the ask game?

🌌Twilight - Favourite ship and least favourite ship

I can’t choose just one so I’ll do top three in no particular order

Fernsong x Ivypool: this ship is the one thing standing between Warriors and complete misogyny (/hj). All their canon interactions are 10/10 Fernsong sees the best in Ivypool and rlly admires her and its clear that Ivypool rlly loves being around him even if she’s too prickly to admit it. But I also headcanon Fernsong as autistic, he prefers doing jobs in camp like helping the medicine cats and queens rather than hunting or fighting cause he finds it confusing and/or over stimulating while Ivypool I headcanon as having PTSD so she likes to patrol and hunt but can’t a lot of the time because she gets distressed and paranoid, so Fernsong accompanies her while she does her duties and does grounding exercises with her if needed, so they’re a rlly good team!! I also think Fernsong’s relationship with Lionblaze has a lot of potential regarding his relationship since I can’t imagine Ivypool likes Lionblaze very much given that he was totally on board with keeping her in an abusive situation as a child for the greater good even though he could’ve done it himself because he is literally invisible and defeating the dark forest is the reason why he had super powers in the first place. (Sorry Lionblaze lowkey pisses me off)

Feathertail x Sasha: read A Shadow in Riverclan and look me in the eyes and tell me they were not girlfriends. I love the trope of two individually troubled people finding eachother and loving eachother despite their pain so much and I think they could’ve worked things out if Feathertail didn’t die, she forgave Leapordstar she def would’ve forgave Sasha, also I understand why she was mad at her, even though it wasn’t justified I think it makes sense given Feathertail’s mental state. I also rlly like how you can actually see how their relationship developes, it’s not instant and you can understand WHY they like each other so much. I wish Feathertail hadn’t died, I wouldve traded Brambleclaw POV for Feathertail POV in a HEARTBEAT. I think Sasha might have stayed if Feathertail was still in Riverclan when she returned, after understanding her trauma more I def think Feathertail would have forgave and apologizing to Sasha. Seeing Sasha and Feathertail’s interact with Hawkfrost would have also been very interesting and could have fleshed him out more.

Grasspelt x Briarlight: I got another AU coming up that has to do with them, so I wont give to much away but I love the idea that indivually Grasspelt and Briarlight are both very smart and admirable cats but then when they get within 5 feet of eachother they both become goofy mushy idiots. I know Grasspelt is like a very minor side character so I’ve just given him a personality myself but just let me have this ok I am tired. They’d also make great parents!! I headcanon Grasspelt as autistic and I like to think he infodumps about how incredible Briarlight is- he is completely and unapoligetically in love with her and she thinks he’s a wonderful cat he lights up her life.

Least favourites:

Im not gonna include any of the obvouisly bad ships like firetiger or other shit like that, just assume all the pedophelic and abusive ships are also my least favourite, ok?

Daisy x Spiderleg: why did they feel the need to do Daisy like this?? What was the point??? I get that those types of relationships happen I’ll but I don’t see why you’d include it in the book if it wasn’t going to have any type of meaning beyond Leafpool being mad at Spiderleg. They could have still had that happen and then had Daisy get a mate that treats her right, I just feel bad at her.

Bumblestripe x Dovewing: Bumblestripe is such a pick me and their relationship reminds me a lot of a past friendship of mine that did not end well. Dovewing deserves better Bumblestripe is manipulative as hell and I feel like he takes advantage of Dovewing’s kind nature. I am so glad she left his pathetic ass, I rlly hope he doesn’t get a mate in the future and I am convinced Rosepeta’s crush on him was comp-het or something cause she must have some taste. I understand why Ivypool was for Bumblestripe and Dovewing’s relationship, she was still totally in the wrong and doesn’t deserve to be completely excused but it makes sense given her character, she’s been denied any agency for a rlly long time, Hawkfrost was her best friend and he treated her just as shitty as Bumblestripe treated Dovewing- so she’s less likely to see the red flags as they’ve been normalized to her. Everyone else though?? I have no idea why they told Dovewing to get with Bumblestripe he literally sucks so much. I think it should have just been Ivypool who said that cause it makes me dislike everyone else lmao.

Blossomfall x Ivypool: Blossomfall is mean to her as an apprentice and compares her to Dovepaw which fuels Ivypaw and Dovepaw’s unhealthy relationship, and then the only reason why they become friends is that Blossomfall gets sympathy from Ivypool and that strikes me as p toxic and unhealthy, obv if someone were to make an AU or headcanon where their relationship plays out differently than that’d be totally fine but in canon I just can’t see them doing anything but dragging eachother down- also Blossomfall is mean to Dovewing and Ivypool and Dovewing’s relationship is already strained as hell that would be very counterproductive.

#CW: emotional abuse

[rosyfingereddawnn]

Congratulations on 400 followers. So for me Led Zeppelin, and Queen

I’m 4 ft 9, athletic build, dark brown purplish shoulder-length hair. I have green eyes with glasses. I’m INTJ, Leo, and autistic, and have chronic pain. I like cars, wine, cats, coffee, the outdoors, and working out. I don’t like going out and I’m super quiet and shy. I’m mostly tomboy with some girly girl. I’m a long-distance runner and massage therapist, and super geeky.

hey darling alexis!! i hope you’re well ❤️

for led zeppelin:

i ship you with john bonham :)

i think first of all, he loves the height difference, and the fact that you’re so athletic! of course he finds that very attractive :) he jumps on your interests as soon as you mention them because he can relate so hard, especially to the car one, and you BET he’s gonna take you on rides in his most expensive, coolest cars to show you (and it) off :) he thinks the supposed geekiness is so endearing, and when you tell him about whatever you’re interested in at the moment, he sits there with love in his eyes and a smile on his face :)

for queen:

i ship you with john deacon!!

i think you two would be really sweet together, cause as quiet and… as wild as he can be, he really appreciates spending time with you, just the two of you, and he’d be the most loyal. i mean ‘you’re my best friend’? about you 😏 also, i feel like for cars… hes really interested in the inner workings of electronics and stuff if im not mistaken, so i could totally see the two of you taking apart and refurbishing a nice vintage car, a little couple project :)

thanks so much!!

#syd ships! #400 celebration!! #led zeppelin ships #queen ships

[autispec-hours]

hi call me corvid or don

welcome to my neurodivergence blog ^^

CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH : all of Dimension 20’s campaigns and also Dropout in general but the Unsleeping City is still the fave

y’all i love the idea of cody and pete dating but i find it just a little bit suspicious that you consistently ignore that pete is in a canon t4t relationship . literally just make them poly it’s not fucking hard

some things about me:

im an adult

i’m autistic & have adhd

i collect SpIns and hyperfixations like candy. help there’s so many idk how to function

some of the SpIns in question are : pokemon , visual & written art , art & media analysis , rise of the tmnt , psychology / sociology , cryptozoology , warrior cats , biology ( particularly dinosaur biology ( including birds , ) but all creachers are good creachers ) <- i keep adding to this list bc i forget my SpIns sometimes tbh . and if you’re wondering how i can do that . it’s because i also have adhd

fandom blogs : @don-stan-tinople for tmnt content @rat-king-kugrash for d20 & dropout & @cotton-pikkin for pokemon stuff !!

also follow my art blog @corvidsart

anything i post / reblog that has to do w a special interest more than it does neurodivergence will be tagged #un-tism

i have trauma , & much of it . this & my neurodivergence may pepper my interactions with people , so being clear abt your tone is very helpful to me when interacting w my posts . tone indicators are helpful , but not compulsory !

i am physically disabled , with chronic pain & chronic migraines , which i believe is enhanced by my sensory processing being more acute than the average person’s

i am not someone who’s opposed to teaching or answering questions about my experience , but rudeness , pettiness , and bigotry will no be tolerated

thank you for your time ^^

#actually autistic #actuallyautistic #autism #autistic culture #autistic spectrum #xenogender #mogai gender #autie #autistic pride #autist #autistic #autistic experiences #autistic life #being autistic #actually neurodiverse #actually neurodivergent #actually nd #red instead #spoonie