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clownsuu · 2 years

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Ok but what if Saltbaker starts to warm up to the little sugar cube 🥺

Think that plan failed smhhh

#Cuphead #chef saltbaker #malewife au #lmAOOO

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nonbayanary · 1 year

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Hiruma Youichi is an overachiever. Whenever he sets a task unto himself, he uses any means necessary to succeed. Quarterback, student, blackmail specialist. He takes all these challenges head on.

And yet, he is suddenly made aware that he lacks one skill:

Malewife.

AU where our resident demonic babygurl tries to turn himself into a waifu. But witnessing the process is akin to watching a feral wildcat remake itself into a lil domesticated housecat

Even when doing housework in the most unhinged and homicidal way possible, Hiruma still manages to accidentally succeed

Everyone's both vaguely impressed with the results, and still downright horrified with the chaotic cooking process

Hiruma would probs burn down a wholeass kitchen in his efforts, what a man

Thank you to Nano from the ES21 discord server for this absolutely galaxy brain idea!

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rarepears · 1 month

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3AM thoughts:

Shen Qingqiu loses his memories while on a solo mission. A rich noble man finds him and is "kind" enough to offer shelter until Shen Qingqiu gets his bearings (perhaps regain his memory too) and figures out his next steps.

Except Shen Qingqiu doesn't regain his memories in the next couple months and ends up accepting the noble's courtship...

He finds himself so happy and content (and pampered) that he can't imagine how or why his past self became a cultivator. Or maybe he became a cultivator just so he could look forever young and thin no matter how much sweets he eats? Hm, that's a valid theory. Shen Jiu gives himself a pat on the back.

Cue Cang Qiong, desperately searching for their missing Qing Jing peak lord for months, nearly a couple years in fact, finding their missing peak lord being a pampered spoiled first wife lounging in his courtyard barefoot and full of so much delicious food that he could pass off as 3 months pregnant thanks to his willow thin frame.

Well, that's what they thought until Mu Qingfang confirmed that Shen Qingqiu was indeed a couple months pregnant...

---

(Naturally the noble man aka Shen Jiu's husband is actually Shen Yuan the transmigrator who stumbled upon a cultivator with the signature green robes that Shen Yuan couldn't not recognize as Qing Jing peak. Upon confirming that the cultivator had amnesia and seeing the sword's name etched on the metal, how could Shen Yuan not try to plot how to keep Shen Qingqiu away from Cang Qiong and the protagonist??

He's TOTALLY not gay, but marriage is a fantastic way to trap the peak lord in his house forever right??

and if he finds that the evil scum teacher is actually pretty cute and easy to spoil, that totally doesn't mean anything. Shen Qingqiu is basically like a cat! Who doesn't like cats! Especially when they stop hissing at you and start demanding for more cuddles, pats, and treats?

A destressed Shen Qingqiu not haunted by his trauma, forced to work all day for unappreciative people, and surrounded by love is apparently the world's most spoiled spouse. Who knew?)

#ok i just wanted to put Shen Jiu and “barefoot and pregnant” image together #svsss #svsss au #mxtx #scum villain's self saving system #svsss ideas #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #shen yuan #shen jiu loses his memories and becomes shen yuan's barefoot and pregnant malewife AU

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lotus-pear · 6 months

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i think you guys are onto smth..

i unironically got invested in this HELP

#WHERES THE FIC AT IF SOMEONE WRITES THIS I WILL PAY THEM A HUNDRED DOLLARS😭😭#kunikida serving the country while dazai's serving cunt😔#dazai was born to malewife but forced to manipulate and i think that's the greatest tragedy of bsd #anyway some facts i would like to share abt this au thay i came up w while drawing!!#takes place in 1939 (start of wwii) and there was a mandatory draft that required one male over eighteen from each house to serve #both of them are still twenty two and had been engaged for abt two years before getting married that year #newlyweds! unfortunately kuni had to go fight and they were seperated :(#before the war kunikida was a math teacher at the local high school and dazai obviously managed the household and didn't work #he's hopeless at cooking and meal prep even w recipie books so they either get those prepackaged meals or kuni makes dinner when he gets ba #so like when he's making lunch for kunikida he normally just packs a basic sandwich w raw fruit #kunikida always appreciates the effort even tho hes probably sick of having the same thing everyday but he won't complain abt it #when kunikida joined the army he was relieved that the mess hall had better food than dazai #he was the only one in his platoon that never complained abt the food so his fellow soldiers assumed it was bc he came from a tough bg #when in reality he was just used to being poisoned on a daily basis from his dumbass husbands cooking and was hardly fazed from army ration #they write to each other although its more dazai sending and kuni receiving bc hes off fighting and doesnt have time to write back #dazai talks abt life on the homefront and how he has to grow a victory garden (everything is DYING HE CANT EVEN RAISE TOMATOES)#and kuni writes abt his fellow soldiers and how the war is going and when he thinks he'll be home and how he misses sleeping in a bed #ANYWAY yea thought i'd share sry for infodumping in the tags again #this post is for like the four ppl that care abt this specific flavor of knkdz so hopefully this gets four notes at least #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunikidazai #knkdz #lotus draws #bro sry for posting at two in the morning i couldnt sleep until i got this out of my head they have infested my brain

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kneelingshadowsalome · 4 months

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hiii the double trouble au lives rent free in my brain like I make a full breakfast and fluff pillows daily for these men 💕

Does Colonel König want kids? 👉👈 What if he thinks he’s too old for them until he sees how sweet Wifey is with small children and he gets hit with Category 5 Baby Fever?

lord knows if the Colonel and Wifey are trying then young König will do his damndest to put a bun or two in that oven because everything is an unspoken competition between those two, ESPECIALLY paternity.

Of course young recruit has to sabotage another important project >:)

But when he hears about it he's so insulted – you want a baby and no one told him?! Have you both lost your mind??

He’s the most obvious choice for this thing: he’s young, he’s active and he’s virile… His sperm is more potent compared to the Colonel’s for sure! It’s a bad joke that you’re trying for a baby with that tired old grandpa, but luckily he’s here to save the day.

While the Colonel concentrates on making the house baby proof and ensuring that you’re both eating clean to improve your chances, young recruit simply chooses quantity over quality. Babies are made by, well, making them!

Doesn’t care if you’re ovulating or not (barely even knows what that means); you’re having sex multiple times a day. The Colonel can go and make those green fertility smoothies while he does what he does best. You can take the paternity test later, it doesn’t matter, it’s quite clear who's going to win this race. And isn’t it funny that the Colonel is out, buying a baby stroller for his kid…? :)

#I see this as a win win situation because young König does have the advantage of more potent sperm #but Colonel is a provider #basically a malewife #so both the baby and the mother are in good hands from all fronts ^^#double trouble au #2 Königs 1 reader #P.S. Colonel König in baby fever... anon you need to stahp 😫😫😫

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fanged-cotl · 18 days

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Old Habits

#cult of the lamb #cotl narinder #lambi au #cult of the lamb fanart #cotl au #cult of the lamb au #narinder #i love my wife #my malewife #my meow meow #god #help

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nomsfaultau · 1 year

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Problem solving is their forte.

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rerengy · 2 years

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Pets! 🐶

Hajime is not good with animals yet, but he’s happy that he finally have a pet.

+ The pets (and hinata) sometimes play too rough. Fortunately the band aids are cute!

#komahina #nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #danganronpa #danganronpa 2 #SDR2 #malewife komaeda heheh #strawberry komaeda!#this is part of healing AU i can't fit this in previous post #postgame #rengy

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krekael · 9 months

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[Ref Sheet] Batukhan Dotharl

#a horrible man #art #kres art #batukhan dotharl #ffxiv #ffxiv oc #au ra #ffxiv au ra #character design #reference sheet #monster #monster design #horror #oc #original character #hes truly the worst #mansplain malewife manipulate motherfucker

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crappwr0m · 3 months

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You know what? Fuck you.

𝘈𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘳

#signalis #adler #signalis adler #robot malewife #extra fluff!!#signalis fanart #harpy #harpy au #redisign #monster

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howlonomy · 21 days

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Something I kind of thought about- so since Ceroba has her “Devoted” Form (I think that’s what it’s called?), it makes me think of how freaky it would be for her to just, have those glowing red eyes as a regular thing. Girl probably accidentally scared the hell out of her kids at least once when they see a pair of red eyes peering into their bedroom (she just wanted to make sure they were sleeping alright :( )

And on a sort of related note: since this is a pretty perfect pacifist timeline, clover likely wouldn’t really need to use it, but part of me thinks they’d absolutely think about their “cool super powered form” BECAUSE Ceroba can do that, and they’re like, one third roba so they GOTTA have one too right?! (Which could lead to them ACTUALLY finding their determined form just through trying to do it really hard, I dunno)

GDJFJ YEAH,, shes got those creepy reflective cat eyes. kanako is used to it and her eyes do the same thing but it scares the shit out of clover (maybe a bit of a trauma response from. you know. ceroba trying to kill them BUT)

AND YEAH i think clover would be super pumped to try and get their other form out!! after all ceroba can do it so cant they?? kanako was always excited to have her own form too bc well. her mom can do it!! (she did have a bit of a form when she was in the true lab; integrity. she doesnt ever really want to try and get to that form ever again now)

i like to think different forms are attached to one specific emotion (cerobas is devotion, which is why she could transform in pacifist and not no mercy; undyne with determination, ect). so in a truly happy and perfect timeline neither would ever be able to full transform; maybe small aspects but it just wouldnt happen. clover will never feel enough justice or determination, and kanako wouldnt feel enough integrity again. so as much as they would want it i dont think they could!

#asked and answered #monster clover au #mcau lore #every day i thinn its so funny they gave chujin the boss monster gene and not ceroba #like are you sure? are you sure he has it and not her?? ok #something about having a boss monster gene makes you a pathetic malewife #/pos inlove chujin and asgore both

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notallsandmen · 1 year

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Retired Dream as Hot Mess Malewife

I think retired Dream / Morpheus would be the most useless malewife in history.

When Death drops him on Hob’s doorstep, the division of labour is pretty non-existent — he’s a former king in friendly exile, and he is very magnanimously allowing himself to be pampered by Hob. But after a while, he would try to help out with the chores when Hob is at work.

However, without being tapped into the Collective Unconscious, Dream’s ability to choose and critically evaluate his sources is… somewhat shaky.

Hob starts him out on a good note, leaving him with a few Marie Kondo books. Things go fairly well, even though Dream ends up colour-coding the wardrobe according to some colour system that human retinas can’t perceive.

But then Hob goes to a conference, and Dream insists that he is perfectly capable of caring for one cat and 20 overnurtured houseplants for five days. What could possibly go wrong?

Dream reads several books on housework, but he can’t seem to finish any tasks before getting derailed by the narrative, turning every chore into one of those endless blog essays you have to scroll through before getting to the damn recipe. Even the simple act of hoovering has to involve a long-winded story about getting out of an MLM scam, forgiving backstabbing siblings, and finding your inner goddess.

Everything escalates when Dream discovers housewife milf porn.

Hob gives up and gets a roomba.

Dream refuses to admit that he hates the roomba with a passion, and instead proceeds to Lady Macbeth-manipulate the cat into throwing up on the roomba until the motor breaks.

Hob throws in the towel altogether and pays for a cleaning service. Dream takes up yoga and comfortable day drinking.

All is well.

#the things I will do to get some dopamine out of doing my damn chores #also #the things I will do instead of doing housework #my dreamling writing #dreamling #retired!Dream #Retired!Morpheus #Retired Dream #Retired Morpheus #Hob Gadling #Dream x Hob #Morpheus x Hob #malewife Dream #everyone has ADHD #retired dream au

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flamingfalcon3 · 6 months

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Nina: “Would you still love me if I was a worm?”

Fabian, with zero hesitation: “Of course! I would build you a little home in a jar. With a little house. And I would talk to you everyday :)”

#house of anubis #fabina #nina x fabian #nina martin #fabian rutter #I will make posts about the rest of the sibuna swuad eventually cuz I love them all but these two own my heart #I love a good girlboss/malewife ship what can I say #also this is very much related to my au where Nina is transformed into a falcon and Fabian makes the sibuna squad build perches everywhere #like he builds a perch at her spot at the dinner table and everything #my obsession with birds started from animorphs so that’s why I’m like this btw #I just finally found a show where transforming someone into a bird makes sense in the plot

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rarepears · 5 months

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i don't know why but i really REALLY want to see an AU where endeavor is the japanese prime minister's wife (also we need more fanfics talking about Japanese government outside of the hero public safety commission)

Actually, would be pretty funny if Endeavor is still the husband in this scenario. No malewifing Endeavor here. He marries a woman.

In fact, he finds a better ice-quirk user to marry - someone with stronger ice powers than the top candidates that he was considered (ahem Rei). It is "unfornuate", as Endeavor concludes after their first blind date, that this woman is steadfast determined to continue her career trajectory (a degree in politics/policy/policy science?) and most assuredly not willing to be a housewife, but it's fine, Endeavor decides. It means he'll either have to arrange childcare or do it himself but that also means he can influence the child more directly and train the kid more.

Everything seems all good and dandy... Until he discovers, after the birth of Touya and Natsuo, his wife girlbossing too hard and had managed to complete college, grad school, and now had a full time position in the Japanese government. While juggling two pregnancies by the way. What agency he didn't know or care since it wasn't anything related to heroics. She's still doing her job of popping out more babies for him. So he stayed out of it.

When she decided to quit her job as staffer to some member of the National Diet (when did she start such a position? Endeavor wonders how he didn't notice it.), Endeavor blinked in surprise when she said she was gunning for something more ambitious. But he still didn't say anything. She stayed out of his work so it was only fair that he did the same to her career. Their partnership was good. (Duh, it's two workaholics who barely spend any time at home and say very little to each other if it didn't involve kids.)

And then one day Endeavor wakes up to the news that the prime minister of Japan was assassinated and his successor was predicted to be... his wife. A fact which none of the public seemed to be aware of by the way until this emergency election was announced. But now it was released... without Endeavor or his agency being made aware of such an announcement - bah, a "leak" the media called it. Endeavor was experienced enough in PR after all his years of heroics to know when a leak was planted.

It was unsurprising to see his wife win the election later that night. Especially unsurprising after the, now former and deceased, prime minister being assassinated by a villain (rumored to be connected to All For One who appeared to just gone off the grid a couple weeks ago from what Endeavor's intelligence team told him).

But now Endeavor has a wife who's the Prime Minister. And they have 4 kids - the youngest which is 7 years old. The nanny he had been using (named Rei) just had a mental breakdown after seeing the estate being besieged with reporters and the public and Endeavor was pretty sure she wasn't coming back to work ever. Oh, and he can kiss his dreams of defeating All Might and becoming the new No. 1 hero goodbye because even if he does become the new No. 1, he's never going to feel like he earned it himself - he's going to always wonder if it's a reflection of how popular (or not popular) his prime minster wife is with the public. And considering how, historically, prime ministers usually don't have such high approval ratings with Japan's regular villain attacks among other social problems...

Oh boy.

#endeavor #todoroki enji #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha ideas #mha #todoroki family #can you believe this idea started off with me wanting some more endeavor-ussy?#Endeavor is married to the Prime Minister of Japan - surprisingly not a malewife AU idea

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painterlysai · 8 months

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