#me a few days ago: my favorite silly little guys uwu

[feroluce]

Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.

Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks

Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.

And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.

So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.

He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.

Caelus doesn't have any of that.

He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.

And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.

So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-

("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")

-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.

Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.

(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)

((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."

And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.

And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.

The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))

#caelus #sampo koski #hsr caelus #hsr sampo #sampo & caelus #sampril #honkai star rail #hsr #my fics #me a few days ago: my favorite silly little guys uwu #me today: ANGST #honestly I feel like this isn't even a super strong angst though #it's more just. bittersweet? melancholic? something. #I JUST. REALLY LOVE STORIES ABOUT THE NATURE OF GRIEF #and 2.0 laid the groundwork for that beautifully woohoo #I just remembered this probably isn't common knowledge oops but April is the cute red haired girl in Funny Bone #her name was revealed by the creators on twitter. she's named April like April Fools! #anyway I ship it hardcore now thanks bucket boi & studio #but anyway yes I love and adore the loneliness of the trailblazer's loss and grief after 2.0 #because we know from Sunday that Firefly is “spiritually dead” but the trailblazer wouldn't have that knowledge #and they wouldn't know her identity or about any of her connections to other people #and I love that juxtaposed against Sampo and the possible strange nature of his own grief- #-given how the Masked Fools operate and how they see Elation in everything and everywhere #Sampo is no saint- like at all lol- but I do like him and Caelus getting along and being bros #and I don't think it would be terribly ooc for him to care about someone he sees as a genuine friend #he maybe rarely considers someone a genuine friend. but still dmxjjdjdk #listening to Sam's boss theme as I tag this... have been listening to it a lot ever since I finished 2.0 tbh #it's probably what inspired a lot of this haha #because it does sound strong and intimidating and imposing #but you can hear it

[bubbleteaa]

Flowers and papercraft [Tsukishima Kei x Reader]

flowers and papercraft;;

pairing: tsukishima kei x reader

fandom: haikyuu!!

genres: fluff! fluff! fluff! and like only 100 words with angst. just to break the cycle and to make @pm4gal​ happy uwu 

word count: 5.7K

a/n: (me, a clown on may 15th) i came out with this after 4 days without internet (I still don’t have:c) i just want to show to my blonde ass tall baby how much i love him oc :c sorry if its shitty, hope you enjoy it tho! [I WROTE THIS TWO WEEKS AGO LMAO]- So, I just finished this and it’s kinda trashyyy, anyhow, I hope you enjoy this! I love you guys!

Summary: Tsukki wants you to teach him how to make those papercrafts that you make. In return, you ask him to give you flowers. Between daisies and scissors, love blooms. 

✩.･*:｡≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•*:｡✩

Tsukishima Kei knew you. Or that was what he had always said to himself.

And how can he not know you? You were the sunshine of Karasuno. Everything in you shines: your smile, your eyes, your hair, the small earrings that you used so that they did not catch your attention, the bracelets that you hid under your sleeves. All the words that came out of your mouth were sweet and you were always willing to help others. After all this, you were talented and a cultured and patient person.

Even on the first day of school you had asked everyone what they liked best. Tsukishima decided to ignore you, but Yamaguchi told you that he liked dinosaurs. Two weeks later you had given everyone in the class a papercraft of what they liked the most, including him. And he still had the little T-Rex you had made for him, and he still read the little note it came with.

"I hope we can be friends, Kei :)"

That had been two years ago.

They were in their third year now and graduation was approaching. You were friends with Tadashi and therefore you would occasionally strike up conversations with him, but Tsukki always ignored you or answered you curtly. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to ignore you, just that you were very "radiant and lively" to him.

Tsukishima Kei was amazed at who you were and how you were with others. So he never managed to speak to you as he would have liked to speak to you. Part of him said you were irritating, another part of him wasn't paying attention to you and another part of him was hooked on your silly jokes and the way you smiled at him every morning wishing him a good day.

And he would have kept at it, never sharing a word with you other than when they were with Yamaguchi.

Until, in the last semester, the final project of family economics ended up pairing them into a team that would last until graduation.

Tsukishima Kei was smart. He knew that family economics was a subject that might seem silly, but it was necessary for his life. He was not outstanding, but he defended himself as best as he could. But, to share a subject that was about domestic life, a project in which they had to know their partner better and learn to work as a team, not as partners, but as a “couple”, learning everything they could from the other and then expose what they liked about the other in front of the whole class as evidence that "two are better than one" with you?

His nerves were above heaven.

"It is a pleasure to be able to work with you, Tsukishima-kun!" Those were your words when the groups were announced. Tsukishima could only pay attention to how you smiled differently, there was an unusual shine in your eyes, your lips were giving him a unique curve, just for him "I know we will do a good job, together"

Together, that was the keyword.

"Yeah" was his reply. He averted his gaze and continued to pay attention to the class; however, his gaze danced out of the corner of his eye to land on your figure. You were happy.

Too happy.

He ignored you for a week, he had made no progress with you. Tadashi told him that it was silly not to pay attention to you when you were clearly trying to approach him. Tsukishima did not pay attention to Tadashi, he did not understand. He wouldn't understand what you were making him feel. It was impossible to understand.

He realized with the passing of the days that his general knowledge about you was limited, he only knew what was obvious to his sight; But for some reason, you knew a lot about him. He speculated that Yamaguchi had told you, or perhaps you were also as observant as he was.

And while he kept thinking and thinking, the project kept falling behind and you kept trying to talk to him, in vain.

Tsukishima Kei knew you, but had never spoken to you before, nor had sat down to listen to music with you, nor had taken the time to meet you. He only knew of your existence, of how your beautiful voice sounded, of how your eyes shone with joy and peace when he answered some silly question you asked.

Tsukishima Kei was not your friend. But you wanted him to be your friend.

So, when he approached you during the lunch break, three weeks later, and asked if he could speak with you, your eyes did not stop filling with intensity, your smile was brighter and your lips were absurdly shiny because of the coconut chapstick you always used. You were more than radiant that day, you were more than happy.

And when he asked you if you could teach him to do what you loved so much to do, your joy overflowed with your little figure.

"I know you know how to do those things with paper that seems like origami, but those are more difficult" he looked into your eyes, and you were captivated by his "teach me how to do it. We must start with this project and honestly, learning to do your own thing will be easier. It's just paper, after all."

"Tsukishima-kun, the magic word " you smiled while you teased him. He have sighed "C'mon, sayyy it"

"L/N. I will give you what you want, but teach me how to do this. I want to finish the project to be calm ”

"Give me flowers"

Tsukishima Kei did not know you. And neither did the things you liked. Maybe that's why, when you answered something so simple and at the same time difficult to have, he frowned noticeably, almost as if he was silently judging you. And the truth was, he was doing it. Why did you want flowers? Couldn't you get yourself some?

"Why?" he asked, sighing with some frustration "I won't give you flowers. It's a joint project, I shouldn't even give you something in return. Even- ”

"I will not teach you then. You've been ignoring me for a long time, Tsukishima-kun, every time I tried to talk to you, you either ignored me or reluctantly answered me. Perhaps you intend to get out of the project as quickly as possible, but I want to take the time to get to know you and to become friends. That is the idea of ​​the project”

Tsukishima Kei didn't know you, but he did know that you were a person who always shook hands with others and was always willing to teach idiots like Hinata or Kageyama what you knew. So when you refused help, he was surprised. But you were right, the project had a particular goal.

He even widened his eyes a bit when you refused, his amber irises staring at you incredulously. It was almost impossible for him to believe that you, Karasuno’s sunshine, had denied help to someone like him, who never asked for help and was already impossible to establish a conversation with.

He only answered with a roll of his eyes and a “Anyway I don't need you. I'll investigate for myself” as he left you alone near the food vending machine. Your smile was not erased at any time, even your eyes still sparkled with the same joy.

"If you change your mind, my favorite flowers are daisies" your voice sounded just as happy as every day. That irritated him, he had less than five months to graduate and you had denied him the help "Good luck, Tsukishima-kun!"

And now, three weeks later, Tsukishima Kei realized that what you were always doing was not only fantastic but also complicated and almost impossible to do; He felt stupid to say that it was just paper and that it should be easy.

It was very complicated.

Origami was easy compared to what you were doing. Simple 3d figures that were already impressive in themselves. Even printing the molds, he couldn't get it right. Kei sighed, before running his long white fingers through his blond hair, he stared at the T-Rex that you had given him years ago. If he really didn't want to be your friend or be related to you, why did he keep it? Why did he have it in a place where anyone who entered your room could appreciate the enormous effort you put into doing it?

Why did he want that everyone saw it?

Why did he mind waking up and the first thing he noticed when he put on his glasses was that gift?

What was special about it?

A month after trying to do things on his own, he arrived with a few daisies at your table and left them right in front of you. You were distracted by making a paper airplane when the flowers fell in front of you. Your eyes blinked and fluttered like butterflies at how pretty and fresh the flowers looked. It was not as if it were a bouquet of roses and covered in the decorative paper and an excessively large bow. But they were tied together by a small string and had a tiny note tied next to them.

"Please"

Your eyes gradually went up to meet the giant figure of Tsukishima moving away to reach his table. You smiled lightly. You finished making the paper plane before launching it at his table, which hit Kei's desk. He took it with an irritated look to read what one of his wings said.

After school?

Tsukki didn't notice how a small curve formed on his lips, a smile that you had never seen before on his face, between relief and joy. It was a smile that was dedicated to your response, a smile exclusively for you.

A smile that you would never forget or wish to lose from your memory.

When classes ended, your hands were holding scissors, a glue stick, some pencils, and colored cardboard, Kei blinked in confusion.

"Cardboard? Don't you use paper?"

"No, Tsukishima-kun!" You laughed “The paper is very delicate and easy to ruin. It is better to use cardboard" you smiled looking at it “The cardboard is stronger, it resists more and it is not damaged as easily” you left the materials on the blond's desk “Think of it this way. You have to have strong bones to stop the spike as Ushiwaka’s spike in first year, right? The same is with cardboard and paper ”

Tsukishima Kei had not told you about him or his relationship with volleyball. After all, you weren't friends. Of course you knew about Ushiwaka, his position, and his affinity for volleyball. You weren't blind and Tadashi was your friend, of course.

You know more than Tsukishima because of Tadashi, than for Tsukishima himself.

"You didn't have to use that unnecessary comparison" his words were accompanied with a sigh, Tsukishima fixed his glasses before staring at you "But you're right"

You smiled a little more and for some reason, Kei stared at your lips. A small rosy color peeked from his pale cheeks and he immediately looked down when he felt his face turned red.

On the other hand, Yamaguchi looked at you curiously from his desk.

Tadashi thought it strange that both of you spoke without him being in the middle of the conversation. But he was happy in a way that the blonde was talking to you. He decided to go ahead and let you continue talking.

"Thanks for the flowers, Tsukishima-kun" Tsukki wasn't looking at you, but he obviously knew you were smiling. He could see your hands begin to draw something similar to a small heart "They are very pretty"

"You told me you wanted flowers" his words seemed like a complaint. You laughed.

“I know, but you could only ask me again for the favor. I know you think I am very irritating" Tsukishima blinked at what you said but did not answer “I just wanted to bother you a little, sorry if I made you understand that I was not going to help you. A month passed and I thought you had already got someone else to teach you. I apologize, I was immature”

“Nobody does that papercraft thing as good as you ” he was sincere, your cheeks started to redden and you smiled a little more. You finished drawing "How can you draw it? Don't you need the mold?"

"I just imagine it and that's it, I’m used to it, I think"

"What? Is it so easy for you?"

"It's something I have been doing since I was little, so, yes"

Kei was silent for a few seconds before watching how you finished the mold and started cutting it. His eyes tried to record every passing and manner in which you took the material delicately. He ended up getting distracted by how small your fingers looked, how delicate and fragile they seemed.

"The trick is to cut it to perfection," you commented as you cut the mold out of the heart, pulling Tsukishima out of his thoughts. He blinked somewhat confused.

"What if I don't cut it right?"

"Well" you seemed to doubt your answer for a few seconds "Sometimes it turns out well, other times it goes wrong. It may look perfectionist” you paused to start folding the edges where you would join the other pieces of the heart  “But we are perfectionists in many things we do or say because we want them to go well"

"Don't you think you give a lot of depth to what you say?" he sighed.

"Don't you think that's what's interesting?" You played along, before taking the gum stick and starting to put the glue together to join the pieces “When you talk to someone, you realize the little things. From his body language and the level of language he uses with you” you held the edges for several seconds, waiting for them to join “The tone of voice they uses if they are confident, the nicknames they uses with you. It's very interesting and beautiful, I don't know” you smiled again, before gently pressing the places where you had joined the edges “I like to do it”

You finished after about ten minutes, and you gave Tsukishima a yellow heart.

"Right now I have to go eat, Tsukishima-kun. If you want, I can start teaching you after your practice or if you wish, we meet at a café to start doing your intensive course to learn how to make papercraft. I must also learn from what you like to do, it should not always be about papercraft. Is that okay?" Your lively tone made Kei smile lightly. After a long time without looking at you, he met your eyes that were shining more than ever "Next time, will you bring me flowers too?"

"I suppose"

Kei noticed how his response encouraged you even more. You took your belongings to put away to put on your desk and then looked at it as you walked out.

"Ok, Tsukishima-kun! Well, see you later” you waved your hand in farewell and went out the door of the room, leaving him alone.

He looked down at the heart you had made for him. He stroked it carefully and in all the time he talked to you, he didn't feel forced by a project. This was strange to him, after all, part of him considered you annoying and saw the project more annoying. If something bothered him, he was supposed to just think about it. Instead, only your smile appeared on his mind and how your fingers worked with so much care and affection to make the heart that now rested on his desk.

And his head began to ask questions. Why did you choose a heart? Why was it yellow? Why did you make it that size? Was there really a reason or was it just random? Was I analyzing things a lot? Did your words had brought him to that state?

Tsukishima Kei realized that he did not know anything about you. Nothing other than what I had heard or seen.

Tsukishima Kei did not know you.

But he wanted to do it.

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.° 

  Tsukishima Kei was getting to know you. After three months working on the project, regular outings to a café that was cheap (and that you liked), every Wednesday and Thursday with him at volleyball practices to learn to block, internal jokes about crafts and dinosaurs and occasionally, sometimes there were certain walks home, Tsukishima Kei had realized that he did not want to be your friend. Or a just a project partner.

He wanted to be something else.

He didn't dare say it, actually. But everyone thought that more than a project, there was something between you. Tadashi started to think about it too, especially after seeing Tsukishima lend you his headphones the first time.

Also when he said you could call him Kei or Tsukki.

At that moment, Tadashi realized that Tsukishima Kei, his best friend, was whipped for you.

That day, you took his hands when you were saying goodbye to him, and for the first time in all the time he had observed you, he realized that your hands were hurt.

Tsukishima Kei never thought that your hands would have scars. Maybe it figured one or two small marks, probably on your fingers, but he never imagined that your hands had scars from cuts and burns. When he realized it, he did not ask you so as not to invade your personal space; even being very observant, he had not noticed that little flaw of yours. 

And, what if they were hurt because of volleyball too?

And, if he thought better of it, why did you keep doing that if it hurt you?

He thought about the times when his hands and fingers were also hurt by volleyball. It was somewhat hypocritical of him to ask himself that question. Why did you keep doing something no matter what hurt you?

Because you liked it. Because it was something you were good at.

Same as him.

The middle blocker had organized a schedule with you, deciding which days of the week and how many hours they would dedicate to their “craft” sessions. Tsukishima appreciated the gesture, as regardless of anything, you had the patience for him and the way you explained it did not cause him as much irritation as your personality in general.

Something contrary to you, of course. Even when you both were freshmans, you always kept that look happy and lively, you were never negative, and even when you "denied" at the beginning helping him, you were willing to help him.

"How did you do that?"

"This?" You showed him the little crow you made during the break. The blonde felt. You smiled lightly "This is a little more complicated, I have been trying for a week to do it well"

"And isn't it okay?" he asked in disbelief.

"No, the wings are uneven and I must reduce the space between the cuts. Maybe a few more tries and I will succeed.”

"Uhm" Tsukishima took out the flowers he had bought for you and placed them on your lap.

You had already told him several times that he didn't need to give you more flowers. But it became a habit and he quietly enjoyed your reactions. They were little gifts that he loved to give you.

Your smile widened and you looked at him "Thank you, Kei"

"You're welcome"

"See you in two weeks, 'kay?" now your radiant voice was lower and a little more painful when you were near him, which seemed strange to him. There were noticeable changes in you, your cheeks were pink most of the time you spent with him, sometimes your fingers intertwined with his. Occasionally you would give him your creations, like small dinosaurs that, when he got home, would put them next to the largest one that you had given him in the first year "Rest, Kei"

Two weeks. You were going to Tokyo for two weeks for family matters. When you broke the news, he acted nonchalantly, but inside he was upset. So long? It wasn't like he couldn't write or talk to you. Sure, you both could always make calls when you were idle. Because after all, he wanted to get to know you more, right?

Right?

"Y/N" he called you before you could leave. You turned slightly and looked at him, curiosity came from your orbs color e/c "Call me when you get to Tokyo"

A smile formed on your lips "Okay"

"And every night you are there. I will miss having you around”

The smile you had on your lips was erased, you were surprised and so was he. You covered your face a little at his request.

"I-I will" was the first time your words came out in a stutter for him.

The effect Tsukishima had on you.

The effect that you had on Tsukishima.

It was no longer just a project.

The cheeks of both began to scandalize after what Tsukishima asked, but you could only close your eyes and again, give him another smile.

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.° 

  The two weeks passed slowly and painfully. But you were already back.

He was walking with Yamaguchi after practice, on the way home. The next day you would meet him in the cafe and you had entrusted him to make a small doll with molds that you had made for him. It was not complicated at all, you had even provided him with the materials.

"It's not like I don't have any of this at home" that's what he said to you as you handed him the sheet-size cardboard in a small bag.

"I don't want you to spend a lot, you should save to continue practicing" you answered with a smile that was still impregnated in his head, after almost six hours of having seen you for the last time.

It irritated him that you were so good.

"Tsukki" Yamaguchi called out to him and smiled lightly. Kei was still with his headphones on his neck, immediately looked at the olive-eyed boy "What are you thinking about?"

"It's not a big deal," he shrugged as they continued walking. Yams smiled lightly before following his "Just rambling"

"You ramble a lot since you became friends with Y/N-chi"

"Y/N-chi?" He looked at him confused "Why do you call her that?"

"It is something between us" he replied. Tsukishima frowned, something between you two? What the hell did that mean? Kei was aware that you guys were friends for a very long time, and that you were very lovely when it came to Yamaguchi, but was there something between you guys? “But, you haven't told me why suddenly you want to learn how to make papercraft. You even give Y/N-chi flowers! Do you like her?”

Did he like you?

No.

He loves you.

But he still couldn't admit it out loud. Something was stopping him.

"No"

"Too bad, because she likes you"

Tsukishima's heart began to beat very fast, the tips of his ears turned red and he tried his best to sound as casual as possible in front of his best friend.

"Who told you that?"

"Y/N-chi"

“We only speak for the project. Nothing else"

“Y/N-chi thought that you had approached her because you wanted to be her friend. Sne even confessed to me that she liked your company very much, she call you even a friend. Do you consider her a friend?”

"Uhm"

"Cat’s got your tongue, I see. I guess it's normal, sometimes we don't feel the same way about other people. Although, in a certain way, it’s ugly, Tsukki, people often approach Y/N-chi to ask for favors and out of interest.” Yamaguchi laughed lightly. Tsukishima felt somewhat uncomfortable. If he said it that way, it seemed that he only had an interest and that he did not care to establish a friendship with you, something inside him began to burn, as if he were being selfish. Selfish not to confess how much he liked you.

"Are you trying to sound like Kuroo-san or something?" was the only thing he answered before he stopped walking. There was a silence that cut between the two "Does she really enjoy my company?"

"She said you were not as bitter as before"

"Did she say that?" Tsukishima frowned, "Well, she's still just as irritating."

"It just irritates you because you really like Y/N-chi," he laughed again.

"No"

"Nah, you like Y/N-chi"

Tsukishima sighed. Yamaguchi was a tough nut to crack.

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.° 

  Tsukishima put his bag on the floor and took out the materials you had given him, concentrated on recreating the mold on top of colored cardboard y/f/c. As he drew the patterns, he could only think of the little rubbing your hands made against his, how his scars felt against his fingertips. He thought about your smile and how well it contrasted with your face, how beautiful your skin shone against the sunlight, regardless of the season.

Before he knew it, he had already ruined the mold. He sighed with some anger, taking his cell phone and sending you a message as if it were a reflection:

"From: Tsukki 🦖

To: Y/N 🦕

I give up"

He sighed.

"From: Y/N 🦕

To: Tsukki 🦖

Couldn't make the mold? If you can't, don't worry. Tomorrow I will show you how you can do it <3 "

A heart?

Why did you send him a heart?

His cheeks flushed and he didn't think about what he would say next. He just imagined your happy voice saying the same words to him.

"From: Tsukki 🦖

To: Y/N 🦕

What flowers would you like me to give you tomorrow? ”

Tsukishima blinked and reread the message he had just sent, his face filled with grief and before he could erase it, you had already replied.

"From: Y/N 🦕

To: Tsukki 🦖

The ones you want, Kei-chan! I already told you that you don't need to keep giving me flowers. But thanks :), I am very happy that you give me flowers”

"From: Tsukki 🦖

To: Y/N 🦕

I like to see you happy"

Kei's golden eyes widened in amazement at his own words.

Was Yamaguchi right?

Did he like you?

This time, it took you longer to respond.

"To: Tsukki 🦖

From: Y/N 🦕

I like you, Tsukki "

No.

You couldn't tell him that, not now that he was so focused on denying his feelings for you. The project would soon be over and with this, his last school year. Possibly they would not see each other. What was he thinking? Possibly he could never be more than your classmate. Nothing else, you could not confuse his feelings with the "good morning" and the smiles you gave him. You couldn't do it. It was not fair.

But he wanted you to confuse him.

"From: Tsukki 🦖

To: Y/N 🦕

Sleep well, silly”

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.° 

  He was so tired from practice that he left earlier, he called to meet you and now they were lying next to each other on the sofa in the cafe where they always went to study together. His eyes felt tired as you continued stroking his hair. The way your fingers slid down the strands of his hair, smooth like they were massaging his head, the way that half of his body was inadvertently resting on yours, falling asleep. The way you were so loving, so kind.

"Kei?" He heard your voice but did not answer you. His eyes were completely closed. You smiled lightly “Kei, you can't sleep, you have to finish the homework and then finish the mold I gave you. Come on, get up.” Your hands went down from his hair to his cheeks, Tsukishima slightly opened his eyes to lie completely on your chest. Your eyes widened in amazement and you began to feel the heat rise to your cheeks.

“Let's stay like that for a moment” he didn't want to sound tired, and even so, he did. Why was he different around you? What made you so special? "The flowers... are in my bag" he yawn, wrapping his long arms around your waist.

You froze. It was the first time that Tsukishima acted this way with you. A few nights ago you had confessed your feelings for him, but you had not exactly talked about it in person. He hadn't brought you flowers since that day, and he was quieter than usual. The project exhibition was in two weeks. You had practiced everything they could practice, Tsukishima had improved a lot when it came to doing crafts and you were proud of him.

For your part, blocking in volleyball was painful. But it was something Tsukishima did very well. Your hands continued to gently stroke Kei's hair.

"I really like you a lot, Kei"

"I like you too," was a whisper, as if he was scared to say it. You smiled. You closed your eyes lightly to hug him. Tsukki let out a "Silly" sigh

His hands left your waist to sit up and take something out of his bag.

Your eyes for some reason filled with tears.

Tsukishima Kei knew you. And he knew that what you liked the most was making papercrafts. He knew your favorite flower was daisies and he knew your favorite color was y/f/c. He knew that even if it wasn't perfect, you were going to like it because he had done it. After all, you were not looking for perfection, just love.

"Don't be silly " he smiled lightly as he handed you the small daisies made with colored cardboard y/f/c. Among them, there were a few real ones, your heart began to beat rapidly, there was also a heart, also made of cardboard. You looked at him, tears came out of the corners of your eyes. Tsukki sighed and kissed your forehead "Don't cry"

He still couldn't admit his feelings out loud.

But soon, he will.

*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.° 

  "Y/N" Kei's eyes stared at you "Remember you start exposing"

You smiled and nodded your head.

The oral part of the exhibition began. You had to share what you liked best about each other.

Tadashi smiled slightly and raised his thumb looking at them.

"Tsukishima Kei is the type of person who I expect..."

Tsukishima paid almost no attention to what you were saying, not because he wasn't interested in knowing what you liked most about him, but because he was thinking about what he liked most about you. His eyes were still glued to the front, occasionally turning to you only to notice how your e/c colored eyes sparkled when talking about him.

Tsukishima Kei knew you.

"Tsukishima, your turn" You gave him a little pinch and smiled lightly.

Your smile. He liked your smile.

He liked how your hands were small. He liked your voice. He liked your attitude that occasionally irritated him. He liked how you talked about everything very calmly.

He liked you.

He liked you. He was ready to say it.

"L/N Y/N is the type of person that irritates me," he confessed. Yamaguchi smiled nervously as he motioned for Kei to stop. "Her joy and manner of speaking on certain topics seem strange to me. She is always smiling and there is nothing to bring down her good mood. It's annoying" Tsukishima took a moment to look at you, you stared at him, waiting for him to continue “But I like it. I like that it irritates me because it is something different. You are something different” he smiled, adjusting his glasses “I like it when you say "good morning" to me. I like it when you say "See you tomorrow, Kei." I like how your fingers caress my hair, and I also like it when you smile at me for no reason. I like to see you when you pay attention in class, I like to see you when you are distracted. I like your face, I like your hands” both Tsukishima's hands grabbed your hands and he kept smiling “And I wish I could stop them from getting more scars. I like to know that you help others, I like to know that I can talk to you about anything. I like your eyes, I like your hair. I like it when we sat in the cafe and always ask that boba of matcha. It tastes horrible, but you like it. I like it when you smile because of something I tell you, it's different, it's for me, and that's why I like it” he stopped to squeeze your hands a little “I like that you like the flowers that I give you, and I also like that you gave me taught you what you liked. I like how we share jokes. I like our calls. I like our conversations. I like the fact that you tried to learn volleyball with me. I like that you always flatter me. I like that it's you. I…” he closed his eyes “I like you, Y/N ”

He was afraid to open his eyes, afraid to face whatever came.

"Tsukishima. You took too literally what it was that you liked about your partner” he heard the voice of their teacher and his cheeks reddened, he released your hands and opened his eyes, staring straight ahead.

"I'm sorry, teacher"

"Uhm. Anyway, something is something. Good job, tho. It seems that we have some sweethearts right in front of us"

He couldn't look you in the eye immediately. When you finished, and the class was over, he felt your hands take his arm, he turned to look at you intently.

"I like you too, Kei" you smiled.

"Don’t be silly"

"Uhm, the only silly here is you"

"Maybe" he fixed some strands that covered your face "Your silly fool"

"My fool" you smiled. Tsukishima leaned forward a little so he could kiss your forehead. "Do you want us to eat together or-"

"OHHH, TSUKISHIMA, ARE YOU BOYFRIEND OF L/N-SAN? YAMS TOLD US THAT YOU CONFESSED IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS! TSUKISHIMA YOU LUCKY B-"

"HINATA BOKE!, STOP SCREAMING"

Tsukishima sighed before looking at you " Let's go"

#tsukishima #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima kei #tsukki x reader #tsukki imagine #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x you #haikyū!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu imagines #hq x reader #hq x you #hq headcanons #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima fic #tsukishima one shot #tsukishima kei x you #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima smau #tsukishima au #hq imagines #haikyuu!! #fluff #fluff tsukki #fluff tsukishima

[honney-boy]

Zoo Day With Kiara

Pairing: kiara carrera x f!reader

warnings: nothing more than some fluffy girlfriend vibes🤙🏽

a/n: I went to the zoo the a couple of weeks ago for the first time in two years and I had so much fun! I could stop thinking about a pogues zoo day (might make a post) or Kiara and her girlfriend just hanging at the zoo. Bare with me, it's my first hc :)

Alright here it goes

Kie would definitely be the type of girlfriend to surprise you with a surprise date to the zoo

She knows how much you love animals and she just so happens to love them just as much

That's something you guys bonded over when you first met

It was definitely a trip worth while. She took the time to plan it and your day

But anyway, you guys would have been with each other the night before and she'd tell you she would be by your house in the morning

Like 8am type shit

The next morning she would text you a sweet good morning text. Something like 'good morning beautiful' and 'I'll be at your house in 15 :)’

Even though you had to get up too early for your liking, you had nothing to do, so why not spend the day your lovely and beautiful girlfriend

She would drive you guys to the docks to ride the ferry to the mainland since the island itself didn't have a zoo

She'd keep it a secret the whole time so you have no freaking clue

"Kie, can I know where were going?"

"Nope it's a surprise."

You'd give her the little cute pouty face and the puppy eyes "Pretty Please?"

She usually can't say no to the cute face, but she did this time though it was hard.

"You'll just have to wait babe, you'll love it I promise!”

You guys spend your time on the ferry talking about whatever comes to mind, probably bring up the dumb thing the other pogues did earlier that week and working up a laugh

Picutes are definitely taking!

After riding to the Mainland, you guys would have to drive a LONG while

Like 4 hours long.

You'd already have a road trip playlist ready to go and you guys would be jamming out to a mix and mingle of songs

Queen, Bazzi, Taylor Swift, Michael Jackson, p!atd, The Weeknd, Post Malone, Kehlani, Halsey, ABBA, Fleetwood Mac and more!

Even making pit stops at the gas station for snack

McDonald's Drive through for a quick breakfast or Starbucks. The choice is yours

Zoo

So, when you guys first get to the zoo you're like a kid on Christmas.

Like seriously, you're filled with so much happiness you could cry because you haven't been to the zoo in YEARS, and now your wholesome girlfriend brought you to your favorite place.

It's like if you smell a certain think and it brings back old memories...seeing and smelling the place brought back some memories

"I can't believe you brought me to the zoo!”

"I planned for us to spend most of the day together here, just the two of us."

"Aw kie, I'm filled with so much emotion I could kiss you right now"

You guys definitely share a few sweet kisses 💞

And when she meant most of the day, she LITERALLY meant the majority of it.

You two would walk hand and hand around the zoo, you occasionally letting her hand go to rush over to see the animals. Or pull her along with you so she wouldn't lose you

You guys would start with all the outside animals first before going inside to the reptiles and stuff

You'll see the Addra Gazelle with it's cute ears.

Walk past the rhino exhibits, then head straight to the giraffes.

The giraffe exhibit did stink but y'all didn't let that ruin your time. Plus they were to cute for you to care about the smell.

You'd see the little baby giraffe running around chasing the geese, causing the two of you to giggle.

You'd tell her random animal facts like→"Giraffes have purple tongues." Or "Giraffes have seven neck bones as we do."

After the giraffes you guys have to walk a bit to get to the next exhibit so you walk hand and hand to the elephants.

When you get to the elephants Kie gets soo excited

Like so excited that she drags you with her as she basically books it!

When you get there there's two elephants–Asian and African–just walking around and spraying eachother

You'll tell her another fact→"African and Asian elephants are similar but different, and the way you can tell is African elephants have big ears while Asian elephants have smaller ears. An Asian elephant ears also fold downwards at the top."

Right before you guys go see the lions and the zebras, behind one of the big elephants legs there's a baby elephant hiding!🐘

uwus are FLLLYYING😩💗💓💞💕

The last time you were at the zoo a few years back there wasn't a baby elephant and now there is! You both make sure to takes pics and vids

For the rest of the day you guys enjoy being with each other, sharing sweet moments, taking more pics and videos while you see the rest of the animals. Gorillas, Tigers, Panthers, Monkeys, Polar Bears, Bald Eagles, Turtles +more

You even got to feed birds nectar as they flew around, landing on your heads and shoulders :)

At some point during the day you guys would stop and get more snacks to share (even though you had some one the way). Cotton Candy, popcorn, maybe ice-cream or a drink.

Your last stop before you leave is the Zoo gift shop.

It's pretty big with cool shirts, gadgets, toys, jewelry and stuff animals.

You don't plan on getting anything but that didn't stop you from wondering off without Kie to go find something to check out

You find weird things that you pick up but put back because they weren't worth the buy(but they toootally were)

You came across this gender neutral mood ring that you thought was sick and it looked like a wedding band so you bought it for your girlfriend for shits and giggles

After buying it you walked around the shop looking for her and see her checking out a shirt, so you go up behind her and hug her

You nearly scare her to death!🤣

"Holy shi- Y/n don't do that! I almost died."

"But you just looked so gOtDaUm huggable Kie. Also, I got you something."

Curious, she does turn around and gives you the look, remembering what you said before you guys walked in.

"I thought you said you didn't want to buy anything."

"I know but I had to get this."

You make sure you have her full attention, though you always have her attention😊

You give a little sweet speech something along the lines of this↓

"Kiara Carrera, I've known you since we were kids and from the moments you laugh at my goofy puns and stupid pick up lines when we got older, I knew we'd be great together. We were friends for a while and though we went to different high schools, our relationship never strained. When I asked you to be my girlfriend, I knew I was making the right decision, and I don't regret it. You're the best thing in my life Kie, and you're my best friend. I wouldn't change it for the world."

She would blush like MAD and smile a lot. She was used to your cheesiness, but that never failed to make her blush "Who else would put up with your crazy self? You will have me always, but you had me the moment you told me that bee pun."

"Kiara would you do your girlfriend the honor and accept this mood ring so I can keep track of your emotions and I love you because instead of stopping me when you see me doing silly things, you join me?"

And like you said, she went along with you act and held out her hand for you to slip it on her middle finger

"Now when you give people the bird they can read you emotion too."

Kie would love your little gesture and laugh at the fact that you put it on her middle finger and she would test it out on you

She'd flip you off AS A JOKE, and the color of it would be violet-pink which means she's feeling happy.

"Wow, I feel so loved!”

She'd surprise you too with a matching mood ring "I knew the kid in you would flip, so I got you one also."

She puts it in your middle finger and whether or not you give her the bird as a joke is up too you :)

And on top of that she would have bought you a stuffed animal of your favorite animal

THE KID IN YOU CAME OUT

Excitment-100

Happiness-100

Love-10000

Admiration-100000+

Honestly you love this girl so much, and she makes your heart speed up you could go into cardiac arrest.

Kie definitely would have gotten the biggest hug and some kisses all over her face for that

You'd tell her how she is the best girlfriend ever the whole time you're leaving, even on the car ride back to Outerbanks

When you guys do get back to the island, the guys would ask you were you guys were at(mostly jj even though he watched your sc story)

You would keep it simple by saying you went to the zoo and boooooi

They would feel so left out because the kid in them wants to go to the zoo too!

───────────────

Taglist :)

@outerbnx-stiles @letsgotothehop

Let me know if you guys want a pogues zoo day hc!

#kiara outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks netflix #outerbanks #obx fic #obx #kiara carrera x reader #kiara carrera #headcanon #kiara x reader #kiara carrera x female reader

[defkooka]

take me away | minghao

pairing: minghao x reader

genre: badboyau, angst to the fullest

word count: 3.4k

summary: it could be so easy falling in love with the simple things that make someone who they are; hard part? getting them to love you back.

a/n: maybe a part 2? anyway minghao has been on my mind for like a week now so i had to write something about my baby hao uwu

after sitting in your morning lecture for 1 hour; you could already feel yourself slowly dozing off into space. you counted down the minutes until you can finally walk out and go on with your extremely boring day to finally get home and take a fat nap. talking about physics for 1 and 30 minutes can be exhausting, especially when you’re running on 4 hours of sleep. The half empty cup of coffee on your desk is doing a good job on keeping you awake; but not so much on making you pay attention at the professor in front of the class who seemed to keep dragging out his words for what felt like eternity.

you felt your phone in your pocket vibrate against the material of your skinny jeans. You fished out your phone and discreetly looked at it under your table to not bring any unwanted attention to yourself.

hao: hey

hao: are you in class?

You smiled at the text from minghao and quickly typed out a response.

me: yeah, why?

hao: i can pick you up and we can go somewhere

me: hmmmm, idkkkk

me: what do you have in mind :)

hao: anywhere you’d like

hao: i just really wanna see you :)

your heart skipped a beat at the words displayed on your phone screen and you smiled at the text replying back a simple okay. you and minghao have known each other since 3 summer agos, being introduced by one of your friends; jun.

everyone has always told you that you and minghao were complete opposites; you being so friendly and outgoing, always holding a big smile and get along with people very easily, minghao on the other hand doesn’t like having many friends.

it’s not like he’s incapable of making friendships, it’s just he doesn’t like having many friends. he’s someone who prefers keeping to himself even though if standing in a room; all eyes are always on him due to his incredibly good looks.

minghao was the first person you were actually intimidated to speak too. he has this dark aura around him that would intimidate anyone and give off that ‘bad boy’ imagine. but minghao was far from being a ‘bad boy’.

he’s the type of person who likes walking along side of the beach and watch the sunset, as cheesy as that sounds. he’s the type to speak for other people if they ever feel uncomfortable. hes the type to go to museums and think about the amount of time and hard work painters have spent on each individual piece, making it stand out from the rest. he’s the type to wish the best for everyone and anyone out of the kindness of his heart and that’s what attracted you so much to him. how he takes his time to appreciate the beauty in everything.

minghao was one of the kindest people even though it may not look like it to others. but he prefers it this way, people stay away and don’t approach unless approached to. but with you; it was different.

minghao was desperate to get out of that party that one hot summer night, he only went because his friend, jun, begged him to finally get out of the house and stop messing around with that motorcycle he oh so loved. minghao was just thinking of going for an hour or two, and leaving to let everyone else have fun in their own little world. it’s not like he knew many people there anyway, only jun, soonyoung, chan, vernon, and seokmin.

but when jun introduced him to you, he was amused by the way your eyes widen and your smile slightly fell, but not even a second later your eyes soften and gave him the biggest smile he’s ever seen on someone. most people would just shyly say a hello and never speak to him again but he was captivated at the way you just kept making conversation with him and laughed at silly and random things that came out of you mouth; not because you were drunk, but simply because you just found it funny.

but what he was most surprised at was how he kept making conversation right back with you.

ever since, minghao just couldn’t stay away from you and your bubbly personality. you were one of the few things that brought him joy and fun and he cherished you for that.

it also didn’t take much for him to capture your heart. the simplest of things made him smile and those were things that didn’t slip past you. if he was happy, you were even happier. he was like a drug that once you tried; there was no going back. and that’s what scared you.

the first time you kissed minghao was sweet and cliche. he had dropped you off at your dorm your freshman year of college and kissed you. a soft, gently kiss. but that was the kiss that had you sold forever, but you weren’t so sure about him.

you and minghao never clarified what you were. you spent almost everyday together. you went out together. you would kiss. you would hug. and you would have sex.

but the words never left his mouth, and you were too scared to bring it up yourself to not upset him. because if minghao was upset, you were upset. so you never brought up the topic and neither did he. and he probably liked it like that, you thought.

he had the freedom to sleep with other girls and also have you, right? he can do whatever he wants and you would still be there for him because you knew you couldn’t leave his side, right? those were the moments were anxiety and self doubt infested your system, making your head race with a million thoughts as to why minghao has never ever said that he loved you directly to your face.

sometimes he would do things that made you think he did like, waking you up with kisses all over your face, or kiss all his favorite spots on your body and whispering loving words as his lips traveled down your body. or also how he would know if you were having a bad day and would go out of his way to make it better.

but other times he would do things that left you thinking if he even thought of you in ways you thought about him. like never answering your messages days at a time, or shutting you out every time he was upset, or refusing to introduce you to other people as nothing else as his ‘friend’.

your friends knew you guys were a thing, but not even you knew exactly what that ‘thing’ was.

your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of people shuffling around you. class had probably ended without you even knowing. everyone quickly filed out of the room while you patiently packed your stuff; thoughts on minghao still lingering in your head.

you slowly walked out of the room holding strong eye contact with the floor, instead of saying hi to the people around you like you usually do.

once you stepped foot outside you finally looked up at the busy people around you. people were rushing in front of you to get to their destinations while others took their time and talked freely with their friends about the new gossip on campus. as a happy and friendly person you were, you never partook in silly conversations about gossip and secrets with other, never really finding a point in it other than just to talk about others without them knowing.

you looked around the sidewalk trying to find him in the sea of heads, until your eyes finally landed on the tall, handsome; minghao.

he leaned back on the black bike behind him; his pride and joy. his long slender fingers supported him against the black leader under his finger tips. his long legs covered by a pair of black jeans were crossed in front of him and a black bottom up shirt hung loosely against his skinny frame. his chest that you loved leaving your love bites on, was exposed to the sun as a couple of silver chains hung on his neck making him look like a total dream. your dream.

once his eyes locked on yours, a small caring smile overtook his features; making the sides of his mouth wrinkle.

you took small steps towards him, instead of the eager ones you usually take when your eyes land on him after a long day.

“hi” he said extending his hand from behind him, in front of you for you to take. you placed your small hand on the palm on his rather large one. feeling the cold of his rings against your skin as his fingers wrapped around your hand. the same fingers that always work magic against your skin.

“hey” you couldn’t suppress the smile that overcame your face as he pulled you towards him after a few seconds of slowly shaking your hand up and down with his. he wrapped his arms around your waist and held you tightly against him, placing a gentle kiss on the side of your neck. you hummed in appreciation, missing his scent from not seeing him for almost 2 days.

you pulled away from his embrace parted the hair that covered his eyes, giving you a clear view of the man you adored.

“what’s wrong? you have a long face.” he worriedly looked at you and his brows furrowed in concern. these were the types of things he did that made you think that maybe, maybe he cared about you the same way you cared about him.

“it’s nothing. just a longer lecture than usual” you shrugged your shoulders and looked down at his converse; avoiding his worried gaze. you could feel his eyes burning on the top of your head and you started to get worried that he could see right through you; which he could.

“don’t lie to me. you’re not good at it.” he chuckled making you look back up at him. “now tell me what’s wrong” his eyes went back to the soft concerning look they had. you could feel the anxiety start to bubble up again and you hugged your arms around yourself looking at everything around him instead of him.

you were just about to answer another bullshit lie when you heard your name being called out from behind you. both you and minghao turned to the voice and you smiled once you saw who it was.

“hey y/n, i overslept yesterday and missed class. i was wondering if you could send me the notes.” the handsome jeonghan smiled at you. but you weren’t even thinking about that as you felt minghaos hands drop from your sides and his gaze drifted to dig daggers onto jeonghan.

“of course, ill text you the notes once i get home.” you brightly smiled at the boy and he smiled back. you were just about to turn around and face minghao when the boy spoke up again

“i was also kinda wondering if you’d like to get a coffee tomorrow after class with a few friends, you know, joshua, jihoon, mingyu and...me?” you could hear the nervousness behind his voice as his eyes drifted from your face to minghaos cold eyes staring at him.

“sure, i would love to jeonghan” you smiled at him and didn’t think much about it when you saw the giant smile on his face and his ears turn a slight pink. “cool, uh, see you then.” he politely nodded his head and you and went back to his group of friends. you turned around and were immediately met with minghaos eyes staring deeply at jeonghans back.

“you okay hao?” you shifted your face so you were right in front of his eyes but that mad look still didn’t leave his face.

“he just asked you out.” he bluntly said. “and you just said yes.” you saw something which seemed like hurt flash across his eyes but it was gone as fast as it came which only confused you even more.

“asked me out? he was just being nice and invited me out with a few friends minghao.” his eyes darted to the floor and back up to you to see the genuine confusion on your face, but he still looked pissed off.

even if jeonghan was asking you out on a date, why would he care? its not like he’s ever said that you weren't allowed to go out with other people and have fun, so why would he be getting upset about a guy simple asking you to hang out?

“whatever. lets just go.” he avoided your eyes as he got back on the motorcycle and held it steady for you to climb on the back behind him; like the gentleman he always is. you wrapped your arms around him and burried your cheek to his back, feeling his muscles flex from holding onto the the handles. soon after you were firmly pressed to his back, he started the bike and you guys were off.

you thought that minghao was probably over the whole jeonghan situation by the time you both got to his apartment, but 2 hours later, he still had that mad expression on his gorgeous face. you were scared to say anything to him to not piss him off anymore because if you did, he would probably shut you out even more.

he was sitting on his chair with his canvas in front of him, painting whatever ran threw his mind. the sunset hit the side of his face perfectly making him look like the angel you always thought him to be. he wore no shirt and shoes, but still had the same black jeans from before, he always said he preferred not having a shirt when he was at home. you’ve been watching the side of his face for a good hour now, not speaking a word no matter how much you wanted too. you could feel yourself becoming more nervous every time the seconds ticked by.

minghao sometimes would do this, he would invite you over and you would sit in silence watching him paint but not because he was mad at you. just simply because he enjoyed your presence around him and didn’t feel the necessity to speak every two seconds.

but today was different. the tension in the room only rose and you could feel yourself getting tired of the silence.

“am i just going to sit here and watch you the whole night?” you finally said and surprised yourself at the hostility in your own voice. his hand stopped moving and he looked at you with shock in his eyes probably from the tone of you voice too. he never once has heard you talk like that and it genuinely shocked him, but he quickly covered it up with the same expressionless look from before.

“you can go if you want.” his eyes drifted back to the painting in front of him but his hand didn’t move as smoothly as before, now drifting stiffly across the canvas.

“you were the one that brought me here minghao” you said with annoyance in your voice as you crossed your arms over your chest and looked at the side of his head as he still refused to look at you.

“you should’ve told me to take you home then” his brows furrowed and he kept absentmindedly mixing random colors. you could feel your blood boiling inside of your veins each second that he didn’t even spare to look at you. how can he be mad over a thing so harmless as to being asked to hang out by a friend?

“you were the one who wanted to hang out in the first place minghao!” you stood up and went to stand up next to the canvas, in front of him. his eyes didn’t even quaver to take a glance at you. the same mad look hiding behind his long black bangs. he stayed quiet and continued to ignore your existence like you were just a piece of dust in the air.

you were tired. tired of trying to get his attention and squeeze at least a few words out of him. so you did the best thing you could’ve possibly done in that moment; you walked away. you weren’t going to continue to push someone to talk if they didn’t want to.

you turned around and headed for the door with a loud scoff; making sure he would hear. you picked your bag up and made your way to the door to put on your shoes.

“where are you going?” minghao finally broke his silent treatment and stood from his chair. “home. just like you said” you replied bitterly and he could hear the exhaustion and venom in your voice.

“i didn’t mean it. stop.” he placed his hand on your arm to try and pull you back from putting on your shoes. at this point you were trying to force the tears back in from spilling all over your face, even though he tried to pull you back from getting your stuff, you could still hear the emptiness in his voice.

“then what do you mean hao? you do one thing and then do a different thing. you say one thing and then say the opposite of it. just for once tell me what you mean! i can’t read your mind minghao! if you’re mad say it!” you could feel your body temperature rise and your ears become hotter the instant those words left your mouth. you’ve never raised your voice at minghao or anyone in that matter. but it felt good to finally let something out of you chest in a different way that wasn’t just sweet words. and that’s how you found the courage in yourself to finally say whats next after it was pure silence from him.

“i’m not something that you can just have when you’re lonely minghao. i have feelings y’know? it hurts me having to feel like i’m just a background character in your life instead of a main one like you are in mine. you can’t keep me in the dark hao.” you could feel yourself giving up. hot tears started to build up in the corners of your eyes but you didn’t care enough anymore to wipe them away.

by now his mouth was hanging open trying to find the words that just couldn’t come to his head. sadness was layered in his eyes as he listened to every confession leaving your mouth, were you really feeling like this the whole time?

“if you like me, say so. if you don’t, just tell me so i don’t have to sit around and wait for you to come around..” you finally let the tears that you were holding back for months escape. it felt good to finally let every worry out even though it was not the way you planned.

“i-“ that’s all he managed to say before his hand dropped from around your arm. “i’m... i’m just confused. i didn’t mean to make you feel this way.” the soft voice of the minghao you deeply cared about finally came to light, you could see the trouble in his face and body language; like he wanted to reach out for you but physically couldn’t. he wanted to reach out and wipe the tears that rolled down your eyes, he wanted to hold you and tell you every little thing he loved about you and yell out to the world how much he cared and wanted you; but he couldn’t.

you finally wiped the tears from your eyes and looked at the ground trying to figure out your next move as to what to do in this situation.

“well minghao, that’s something you have to figure out.” the words finally left your lips as you looked at him with the bravest face you could possibly master right now. you finished putting on your shoes and made a move towards the door; hoping that maybe, there was a chace that he would try and stop you. but that moment never came, you opened the door and close it behind you leaving a pained minghao starring at the spot you once stood in.

a/n: i ended up accidentally deleting this but thank GOD i had it saved somewhere so i was able to repost it oof

#xu minghao #minghao #the8 #seventeen minghao #xu minghao imagines #minghao oneshots #minghao oneshot #minghao scenarios #the8 x reader #the8 scenarios #the8 imagines #the8 oneshot #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen oneshot #seventeen #seventeen series #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop imagines #scoups #hoshi #seokmin #seungkwan #jun #dino #joshua #jeonghan #woozi #mingyu

[jungnoir]

are you accepting requests? if you are, please write fluff for jaemin or jisung from nct!! idc what but i noticed they don’t have anything and i love them uwu thanks

friends to lovers!jaemin and jisung

a/n: I’m not accepting requests but… I’m also bored and stuck on everything else so here’s this tiny thing

⎡JAEMIN⎦

the annoying spicy best friend and boy next door until senior year

you guys lived right next to each other so of course you always hung out!! despite going to the same school and spending the whole day together already, you spend even more time with each other when you get home

you’d beg your parents to allow you both to play in the front yard and kick balls around or play hide and seek in jaemin’s huge backyard until dinner time and even sometimes past that

as you both got older, you’d get to hang out later, so you’d both chill in jaemin’s hammock in the late evening because you both were small enough to fit and tell each other funny or scary stories while the bugs left bites littered over your arms and legs (not that you really cared until you went home and couldn’t stop scratching)

you never thought of jaemin in a different way, though everyone else thought you did

play fights were commonplace between you two so whenever you’d get particularly rough with each other ur friends would be like “lol there go the lovebirds

and it was gross

it was…

gross

?

it was gross up until high school when your hormones kicked in and hey. jaemin is kinda gross. you still remember when he used to plant boogers on your locker handle or tackle you in sweaty arms if he lost to you in a game of kiddy basketball

but now jaemin doesn’t look like scrawny, stinky little jaemin anymore

no, now he can pick you up off the ground with two arms around your waist and laugh in your ear about how you should be more aware of your surroundings

now when he ruffles your hair he follows up with gently patting down the stray hairs, both hands smoothing down from the crown of your hair to the tops of your ears to the curve of your neck

now when he gives you those dark, mischievous eyes and asks “can I stay over tonight?” you can’t say you don’t shiver

you remember a time when you both were so young and so close that your parents would give you baths together for pete’s sake

and now you can’t even stand in your bedroom, ten feet away from each other, and look each other in the eye

he sits on your bed, slouched and flipping through channels on your tv

but when he sees you enter in just a pair of shorts and a giant shirt (his, though it’s been years since he’d last seen it)… he doesn’t quite remember what he was so focused on doing a few seconds ago

“…did you find a movie?” you ask softly, padding over to the other side of your bed as he immediately sits up and draws his long limbs to his sides

“oh! uh… no dice. maybe we should just rewatch something you have here?”

you shrug, point to the popcorn he’s got on your nightstand, and allow yourself a silent heave of air when he’s not looking your way anymore

he retrieves a movie you two have watched so many times before that you can recite the words together and not miss a beat

so it. it feels different tonight. somehow

there’s just a bowl of popcorn separating your hands from finding the other’s and this odd tension in the air that was birthed the minute you walked into your room after telling jaemin you were just gonna “change into something movie night-worthy”

you two don’t end up throwing yourselves over each other like usual, being deliberately annoying and clingy just to make the other person laugh

the movie is about halfway through when jaemin suddenly moves the popcorn to the floor and rolls onto his side, resting his head on his fist as he stares at you

“what?” you ask, v aware of the warmth he’s giving off now that there’s no barrier between you

“nothing”

“it’s gotta be something if you’re just staring at me for no reason” you drag your knees up to your chest to somehow make yourself smaller under his gaze, even to bury your cheeks between your knees so that you could make sure he didn’t see the little twitch in your lip, the want to laugh nervously or spout out some ridiculousness to get him to stop looking at you building up in your tummy

“can’t I just look at you for no reason?” he scoots a little closer, maybe attempting to look funny to you as he says this but,,, he’s doing a really bad job of it

because he doesn’t look funny. if anything, he looks kind of… what is the word?

you bite your lip, “sorry, gotta pay to look”

“what’s your preferred currency, honey?”

oh my GOD shut up jaemin

you push at his chest, trying to ignore how your hand annoyingly remembers the mold of it even after you’d touched him

“silence” you joke, watching as he licks his lips and sits up so that he’s level with you

he reaches forward and cups your chin, glancing between your eyes and your lips

he isn’t even subtle about it

your mouth parts unconsciously, a sudden understanding to this tension you’ve both been feeling hitting you hard

jaemin resists the urge to run his thumb over your bottom lip when it gets released from you teeth, if only to spend this next moment looking at your face

and he’s not even surprised that you can feel it too

“you’ll have to be specific, there’s all kinds of silence”

you don’t know what this is

no, scratch that, you know exactly what it is, but you don’t know if you want to admit it to yourself yet

maybe you could get away with that for now

neither of you would hold it against the other if you just. tried it out once, right?

and so you lean in that much closer, breaths mingling unavoidably now

“getting specific enough for you?”

of course not

⎡JISUNG⎦

idk why i’m so obsessed with this visual of gamer!jisung but hear me out

gamer!jisung, best friends with your best friends aka the other dreamies, but probably the only one you can never get close to

besides the fact he’s a certified bully to the boys, you’re the only one that he isn’t… silly with

like he’ll have renjun in a headlock and then make eye contact with you and the mood immediately dies

you’ve asked each of the boys what the problem might be

are u scary? are u not his type of person to hang around? was he still put off by that time you body slammed mark into a wall?

ok you didn’t actually body slam him but he swears he felt his feet leave the ground for a moment

not your fault he has the weight of a singular macaroni noodle

jisung always talks to you respectfully and if he can, talks to you through the others

it wasn’t… fun… having jisung treat you this way

he was always your favorite not that you have favorites *ahem* forgive me, donghyuck *ahem* so it was v :///// u know

you really wanted him to be able to treat you like he treated the other boys!! because you’d gladly treat him the way you treat the others if only you had the CHANCE

or at least you’d like to know why he didn’t so you could have some kind of closure

jisung happens to run a gaming club at school, and with permission, the “club” (which mainly consisted of all of you) would stay behind after classes and play together in one of the abandoned classrooms

you always had to play against the others bc jisung never wanted to give anyone (you) the floor to challenge him

so one day, you just decide that you’ll sit in and observe jisung play against donghyuck in overwatch

and donghyuck is obliterating jisung

you’ve never seen donghyuck this good, getting excited enough to run over to donghyuck’s side and cheer him on

you place your hand on donghyuck’s shoulder

and jisung looks away from the screen for just one second to see it

right then, donghyuck destroys jisung with a victorious yell

of course, you’re both caught up in the excitement of the moment so the first person he hugs is you

and this is pretty normal for you guys; between wrestling around and being affectionate, it was never weird to receive a hug from anyone except jisung

then you hear a controller clatter to the floor and by the time you’ve peeled away from donghyuck at the loud sound, you see jisung storming out of the classroom

the other boys looked shocked, some even looking between each other, unsure what to do

you notice chenle about to offer to go after him when you stop him, “i’ll go calm him down… he’s probably just upset about the match, you know how he gets”

chenle nods for you to go, gnawing lightly on his bottom lip

you find jisung sitting on the stairs outside the school exit, his head resting in his hands as the evening grows later

the sun nearly blinds you as you move to sit next to him, mulling over what to say

after all, you two weren’t that close in the first place. surely you were the last person he wanted to see right now

without looking up, jisung begins grumbling, “I know, okay? you don’t have to lecture me about it”

you blink

you weren’t planning to lecture him at all!

“I know that it’s stupid to get upset but the game was getting to me and-”

you’re about to cut him off, tell him it’s okay, that it’s just a game and some people get upset about those things but that you all knew it wasn’t that deep

“-you know how much I’m crushing on (y/n)… when I saw them cheering for hyuck, I just lost all focus. it’s pathetic. I wish I could just man up and tell them instead of avoiding them all the time”

oh

jisung… didn’t know it was you

he sounds so distraught too, like he was upset he let himself get angry, upset he let you see him show emotion

you place a hand on jisung’s shoulder and instantly he tenses. you think it’s because he wasn’t expecting a touch but it’s because he knows this hand doesn’t belong to the others

so it had to be…

“it’s not pathetic. if anything is pathetic, it’s that it’s taken donghyuck this long to finally win against you in a game, and even then, you were distracted so it technically doesn’t count”

jisung raises his head and his eyes look rimmed red, frustrated

but his expression is gentle when he sees the caring look on your face

“…hyuck would kill you if he heard that” he mumbles, looking down at his hands

you just giggle and bump his shoulder with yours, “ah, I know. but he also knows you’re my favorite so…”

jisung looks back up at you in shock. “f-favorite?”

you hum, moving your hand from his shoulder to the one furthest from you, wrapping an arm around him so that he has to lean into you. he’s never been so close but it’s. nice. your shampoo smells. nice 

“you don’t think it’s weird? what I said?” jisung looks a little mortified when he remembers that he’d just confessed to you, albeit unknowingly, and you were acting like everything was ok

you look back over to him and shake your head, “not at all… I hope this means you’ll stop avoiding me, though”

jisung doesn’t know how to feel at first; he had always assumed that telling you about his crush would either result in you returning his feelings or cutting off all contact with him

but instead, you don’t do either. you just watch the sunset with him, holding onto him

he also sees that you’re just as wonderful as he thought you’d be. you haven’t told him that you return his feelings but he doesn’t feel terrible at all. if anything, he feels ten times lighter after realizing he never had to hide from you in the first place

he checks to see that you’ll let him before wrapping his arm around your waist and offering you a sheepish smile, “sounds good to me”

besides, he may think you don’t return his feelings, but it’s just a matter of time until he realizes the truth about that too

#again i'm not accepting requests but! this was small and doable and i was bored #and wanna show these two love #jaemin scenarios #jaemin imagines #jaemin headcanons #jaemin au #friends to lovers!jaemin #na jaemin #jisung scenarios #jisung imagines #jisung headcanons #jisung au #friends to lovers!jisung #park jisung #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct headcanons #friends to lovers!nct #nct au #nct #majwrites

[aestherians]

Heya, I love seeing opinions of my favorite bloggers so I'm sending this to a few. What are some things you like about the current therian, otherkin or fictionkin community? What are things you dislike? What are some things you miss about older forms/versions of the community? What are things you didnt like about the past itteration of the community? Thank you very much for your time, and your thoughts!

Thank you for this question! While I’ve been a lurker in the otherkin community for around 4 years, I’ve only been active in it for a little under a year (this blog was created on June 15th 2016 for reference). So I don’t feel like I can really talk about the community of “the good ol’ days” ^^’

There are a lot of things that I both like and dislike about the community right now, depending on which part of it we’re talking about. Let’s get the bad things out of the way first:

Fluff: Fluff is every-fucking-where on tumblr. You can’t go three posts without catching some fluff. Wrong definitions thrown around like confetti, less than helpful pendulum and tarot readins, positivity spam, aesthetic posts and moodboards and stimposts cluttering the tags, you name it. Fun is nice - I make aesthetic posts as well and post/reblog silly jokes - but when every other post you see is something only very vaguely related to otherkinity, it quickly gets frustrating. For reference, I scrolled through the tag for the first time in two-three days a few minutes ago and I found two (2) posts to reblog/comment on, one of which was from an anti-kin. There’s a reason why I don’t put my own aesthetic posts in the tag. This ‘fluff culture‘ discourages serious discussions a bit and - because tumblr is the most well known platform for the community - makes us look like a bunch of ‘flower crown bean children uwu’, which, sure, some are, but not all, and it’s sure not the image that the majority of the community wants to give outsiders.

Grilling: This doesn’t happen on tumblr, but rather on the smaller, moderated communities. When new members join a forum, they’ll often be asked to explain themselves in grueling detail before being allowed to post. This grilling process is really uncomfortable for the one being grilled and extremely pointless since anyone can bypass the process by copying what other people have written and essentially just say what the griller wants to hear.

Trolls and anti-kin: This should be an obvious one. You’ll get trolls with every fringe group and weird subculture, but they’re still annoying. Anti-kin are worse, though. No matter how well thought-out your arguments are, they will not listen. Even when you cite psychologists and religious anthropologists, anti-kin will resport to putting their fingers in their ears and yelling that they can’t hear you. They’re afraid of having their status quo (that otherkin are insane) threatened by actually listening to people in the community.

Whew! I have a few more negatives listed on my phone that I’ll go into detail with in a master post some day (the list includes, among other things, p-shifters, factkin discourse, lack of respect for artists, gatekeeping and lack thereof, otherkinity as a coping mechanism). With that out of the way, it’s about time to look at some of the positives:

The people: When you finally manage to find a bunch of people with whom you just click, it’s amazing. I had no idea how much I needed someone to just vent to when I shift or discuss community drama with or shitpost with. You know who you are and I love knowing you guys.

Self-discovery: All the fluff aside, being in this community has seriously helped me discovering who I am as a person. I’ve become a lot more outgoing and confident after I stopped repressing every nonhuman part of my personality. I probably wouldn’t have done that without support from the community and guides to self-examination.

Actual discussions: Few thing are better than engaging in an actual discussion with someone, whether ‘kin or non-kin or anti-kin. I love when I can swap views with others, have my own views genuiunely challenged (no, saying “ur human” does not challenge my views), and sometimes being able to teach another person about otherkinity. It feels amazing to have actual non-hostile conversations with others.

Gathering resources: I love that our community has been able to gather so many resources on what it’s like to be ‘kin, and that most of them are very easy to find.

#about me #ask