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ketamollykaine · 3 months

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Midnight City: Dove

Tonight(demo) - Amira Elfeky

Don’t be afraid to lose. Don’t worry if it doesn’t turn out exactly how you want. The truth is you won’t ever know what’s coming until it arrives.

The everpresent fog that surrounded the small lake town dusted over the small mountain behind the shore. A long, straight road ran adjacent to the water between a narrow line of houses and trees. The houses that sat among the mountain lit up the fog, otherwise they weren’t present in the gloomy world. Some days one couldn’t tell the water from the shore. Everything about the town was old and stagnant, never changing. The red shack on the water’s edge has always been a bar, the liquor store across the street has always been covered in moss, the houses never seemed to evolve with the people coming in and out. Eventually all newcomers had left, leaving the original townspeople to their isolated lives. Sometimes those who’d moved away from the fog would return.

Dove let out a shaky sigh as she packed the last of her things into her grandmother’s van. She, her boyfriend, brother, and grandmother stood outside in the parking lot of the apartment Dove was now leaving. She grabbed her boyfriend’s hand and brought him back into the building for a final moment of privacy, she knew she wouldn’t be seeing him again.

“I’m going to miss you, Sean.” Dove quietly whimpered into his chest. Sean held her close, rubbing her back.

“This isn’t forever, we can still see each other and move in together again one day, but you need to get better. We both need to get better.” Sean reasoned.

The couple had seen much better days to say the least. The last few months dealt several blows of trauma to both of them. Dove suffered two miscarriages within a few months and fell into a deep depression and spiraled into addiction. Sean, being a former addict himself, went down the same spiral as Dove when she started to use cocaine and alcohol. She became a heartless, pitiful mess. She lashed out angrily at everything that brought reality back to her, often spewing her poison at the one she loved the most. Sean always tried his best, but his addiction to crack and fentanyl left him a paranoid shell of who he once was. Their codependency ruined them.

On the drive back to her family’s home, Dove mourned the life she was leaving behind but was beginning to feel a small flame of hope for a better future. The highway surrounding them came to an intersection. Going straight led to a small city, and to the right was the road that ran along the lake. Even on a sunny day outside of the trees, the deeper into the town one went, the foggier it got. Dove sank into the comfort of the familiar fog. She could get lost in it, nobody would find her. She’s always had dreams of disappearing, maybe soon she’d actually do it. Soon the family arrived home and began to unpack.

Dove went up to her room, nothing had changed. All of the posters and paintings on the wall were still hung up, the bed was in the same place, and a few boxes of things she left behind were still in the corner. She didn’t bring much with her when she moved in with her boyfriend, so unpacking would be easy. The totes of clothes could be put back under the bed, her keyboard could stay downstairs, guitar goes in the corner of the room, and the wicker shelves would be set up exactly how she had them in the apartment. Her grimoires took up the 2nd to top shelf. Herbs, candles, crystals, among other supplies went on top. The middle shelf remained an altar. The second lowest shelf held books, sketchbooks and notebooks, and the bottom shelf held a bag of shoes and a basket of shells. The sea and water always brought her back to center.

Dove spent the next few months recuperating from addiction. She slept well, ate well, spent time outside, and was becoming happier. She could stand to go to work without a drop of alcohol in her system, but not without a little something to smoke. Going without weed was like a war crime to her; a complete violation of her personal Geneva Convention. At least she wasn’t hopped up on cocaine and starving while dancing half naked. She danced better when she was with Mary Jane anyways. After quitting hard drugs, Dove left a lot of relationships as well, leaving her in a lonely place. Getting better does come with a cost, but it didn’t cost her friendship with Laurissa. Laurissa would be there no matter what, despite her own addiction. The two were inseparable, they were seen everywhere together, often slept in the same bed, and wore each other’s clothes.

Eventually the new year came around. Dove hadn’t seen or heard from Sean since early December, but Laurissa was there. Until she wasn’t. In mid January, Laurissa was found dead in her apartment. Dove called and texted her like nothing had happened, but when she didn’t get any response by the end of the day, she grew worried and called again. This time the phone picked up with Laurissa’s mother on the line.

“Laurissa passed away this morning, I’m sorry,” She said. Dove dropped her phone and fell to her knees in the bathroom at work. Everything was gone. She sobbed alone in the stall until another dancer came in. Hearing Dove’s sobs, she whisked her away, downstairs to the locker room. Each dancer in the locker room slowly turned around, surprised to see the usually cheerful woman so broken down. They asked what was wrong, and she choked out that her best friend was dead. The women knew immediately and solemnly went back to getting ready.

On the way home, Dove silently cried in the back of the taxi, listening to the music she’d listen to with Laurissa. She got out at the package store, bought a bottle of vodka and walked the rest of the way home. Stumbling up the back steps, she began to cry. It was late, so she didn’t have to worry about her family seeing her relapse. An overwhelming feeling of emptiness enveloped her, and back in the abyss she went.

There was this ritual that she had been wanting to try, but due to the danger involved, she never started it. She was too scared to lose her loves. Now, with nothing to lose, Dove was free to try to make it into Midnight City. Luckily for her, the next morning happened to be Saturday with a new moon on the horizon.

Dove stumbled into her room and dug under her bed for the box she put together when she initially planned on going through with the ritual. It had all the herbs, woods, resins, minerals, the mercury, chalice and cauldron, candles, sigils, athame, black clothes, and the veil. She smiled at it with tears in her eyes and put it on her night stand, then got ready for bed.

The next morning, Dove acted normal, she didn't tell anyone what happened the night before. It's best if they don't know anything is wrong, they'd pester her to talk and then lecture her on how she can't let this horrible event make her relapse. She went downstairs to grab a protein shake to drink while doing her morning stretches. The sunrise was surprisingly colourful for the fog that covered most of the sky. The form of suicide yet to come soothed every bit of sadness, anger, and fear out of Dove. Every movement she made was serene. Freedom was on the horizon.

She passed the day in her room, talking with her chosen ancestors through her tarot cards. She felt her heart for what it wanted, racked her brain for what it wanted, and searched her soul for what it wanted. Her answer: "I don't want to be lonely anymore".

The sun began to set as Dove finished eating dinner with her family. She put her dishes in the sink and said goodnight to everyone. This would be the very last time they'd see her. For her shower, she figured she'd go as fresh as possible. She gathered a fresh razor, baby oil, lotion, a facial set, her regular skin care, a dry brush, a sugar scrub, shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. She left the shower without a hair out of place and perfect skin. By the time she was finished, her platinum hair dried in waves and she smelled of vanilla. She braided her hair and put on simple makeup before returning to her room to put on her ritual clothing.

Opening the box, Dove picked out and put on the black underwear, socks, and bra, then the cropped t shirt, leggings, cargo pants, a grommet belt, a hoodie, and denim jacket. She looked in the mirror while placing the veil on, she draped it over her head like a pashmina, familiar with the rave style. It was almost time to start the ritual.

At 11:36 Dove walked down the road to the crossroads and began to set the space. She drew the circle, a line halfway through, a door above the line, and 12 notches encompassing her. She set the sigils down and the candles above them, blessing the candles in the name of the spirits they've been set for. Once every candle was lit, the temperature dropped but there was no wind, the spirits have begun to pay attention.

Dove, knowing the risks of inter dimensional ritual work set protections for years leading up to this moment, but felt as some wards shattered and circles of white light went out. Darkness is the only way Midnight City can be reached. Many creatures mingle in the chaos.

She walked the circle 12 times and sat in the center before the small cauldron. In the box laid pouches with each ingredient labelled and numbered. First, she poured the alcohol into the chalice as libation for the spirits, and then she took a generous sip for herself. Pouch number one, acacia wood and matches. Dove put the wood in the cauldron, lit a few matches and set the wood on fire, she added the fluffier dried herbs, hyssop and Dittany of Crete. She then built the fire with black walnut, and added bat's head root. Dove shuddered while looking at the next item, the athame. She'd have to cut herself and get a good amount of blood to put on the Jezebel Root.

Dove took a breath, grabbed the athame and pulled down her sleeve. She turned her arm and pushed the tip of the blade under the side of her wrist and dragged it down an inch. She gasped in pain, dropped the blade and grabbed the Jezebel Root, smearing her blood on as her signature. Into the fire went her life force, and then Job's Tears, and finally Balm of Gilead Tears. The fire smelled sweet and of incense. It burned out quickly, and into the cauldron went graveyard dirt, diatomite, and road opening oil. Dove smoothed the mix of ashes, resin, dirt, rocks, and oil into a flat plane for the mercury to sit on.

The candles around her began to flicker, some flame grew, others dimmed but never went out. Dove's focus had to remain on the surface of the mercury. Staring into the liquid mirror, she chanted, "Bathin, lead me to the city. Seere, see me to my wishes, mark me abundant. Bifrons, mark me intelligent in your realms. Murmur, bring to me the souls I wish to see. Malphas, act on behalf of my pains. Gremory, speak to me of the past and beyond."

The demons watched from the shadows, her ancestors watched from behind her. The trance took over and onto the door Dove walked. In a blink she was gone forever from that reality. Now her soul was in custody of Midnight City. She smiled awakening on the other side and began to walk confidently. Dove could feel the presence of her ancestors, she picked her strongest and savviest, they could make it just the same as her. The creatures in the city lurked, trying to find the new spirits; they were hungry.

Some familiar spirits didn't have as much fortitude as Dove thought and began to put off an odor of fear. The other stronger ones quelled the fears of the meek to ward off the monsters. The walk was still easy, but an ancestor who was a remarkable psychic pointed out the sticks in the path and how to avoid them. Some fears were covered up by the confidence of others, but the sticks were hardwired to try to set off a trap. Minutes became an hour, an hour became two, two became 3, and 3 became countless hours. The group of spirits trudged on, Dove became tired and weary. So close to the finish line she was, but that's where the darkest of monsters crept. For the deities, this sacrifice was an entertaining game to watch.

The six spirits could see Dove approaching, overjoyed at her successful pilgrimage, but one demon had a trick up his sleeve. Malphas whisked away from the group, leaving a shell in his place. He whispered to a lost soul to walk forward and grab the first spirit they find.

Just as Dove saw the light approaching, a lost soul ran forward and grabbed the ancestor of her great great grandmother, known for being hard to break. She screamed and the game was over. Dove ran to the light and left the ancestors behind in the beginning feeding frenzy of monsters and lost souls. She ran into a light that was running from her and suddenly she fell. Down, down, down she fell, screaming the whole way down. She landed on the hard ground. The minutes of falling suddenly felt like none, and that she had just fallen face forward onto the ground.

Alone again. Dove was all alone again. She fell to her knees and sobbed, not caring if any monster was coming to rip her to shreds. Nothing came, but she wasn't alone. Seere watched from above and flew down to her side, bringing with him a candle.

"Poor thing," he whispered, grabbing her shoulder. "I thought you'd make it. You've been lonely your whole life. Every bit of stability has been ripped away from you. Nothing you did seemed to be right, and for that you paid consequences you didn't deserve. You've been abused and trespassed on. You've met failure too many times, but you're not meant to kiss Death yet." Dove kept her eyes on the ground, quiet tears dripping into the dirt. She saw hooves and the silhouette of wings behind the candle light.

"You've suffered too much, I'd like to make a deal. You're lonely and have been searching your whole life for a loyal community, and so have we in this realm. You will gain your people and partial freedom from this realm in exchange for returning to the dark city when called. You are now a creature that lurks in this night, but when you wake you will be surrounded by your new family." Seere looked down to Dove's motionless, expressionless body before waking her up and disappearing.

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