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tanuki-kimono · 5 months

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Cw: We are going to talk here about periods, and sex education in the past. Read this note according to your own sensibilities :)

How women dealt with periods during Edo period, article by shunga enthousiast Shungirl who made a paper pad following instructions found in makura bunko 枕文庫 - ie ancient sex books illustrated with erotic ukiyoe.

One of such makura bunko is 渓斎英泉 Keisai Eisen's 閨中紀聞-枕文庫, first published in 1822. It details Chinese remedies recipes for menstrual pains and irregularities, give tips about sex, and information about menstruations and pregnancy. From a modern point of view, some beliefs are outdated, but it was then such a bestseller it went through several reeditions.

Several words were apparently in use during Edo era to designates menstrual period: keisui 経水, gekkei 月経, tsukiyaku 月水, etc.

When girls went throught their first period, their females relatives or nannies would taught them how to deal with them. One method was to use paper as sanitary products (please note people without easy access to paper probably dealt with periods differently).

__________ 御馬 paper pads

Sanitary pads, such as the one recreated above by Shungirl, were then called mima 御馬 (probably as a pun on true "mima" which were then fine horses own by noblemen, or attached to sanctuaries as mounts for gods etc) or simply ouma お馬 ("honorable" horse).

Ouma were made from inexpensive recycled paper called Asakusagami 浅草紙. Sheets were folded 8 times, tied with twisted paper strings (koyori 紙縒), and then wrapped with another layer of folded paper. It was secured once again with paper strings.

Part of the strings could be left long so to tie around the waist, or/and pad was hold into place by wearing fundoshi 褌 loincloth (which would also help prevent leaking on inner tights).

Asakusagami quality was low (it was also used as toilet paper) so paper pads had to be changed often, meaning you had to fold quite a lot of them to go through your period!

Shungirl folded the pad above following instructions found in the book 実娯教絵抄, which provided several other "models":

__________ 詰め紙 paper tampons

Another method for dealing with periods were tampon-like paper bundles which were inserted into the vagina, the 詰め紙 (tsumeshi? I am not sure of the reading).

This method may have first appeared in red-light districts (?). Beside its use for periods, prostitutes also used those tampons as method of contraception (OP has an interesting article on this subject).

By the end of Edo period and into Meiji, paper tampons were widely used even by women who were not prostitutes - despite voices branding this method as unsanitary.

__________ About girls' coming of age rites

Menarche (first period) was an important milestone for girls, and was celebrated as such via specific rites (shochō o iwau 初潮を祝). Those differed a lot from places to places, and also depended on social status.

Celebrations would concern close family, but often spread to wider community who could received for example a festive meal (sekihan 赤飯) for the occasion (some Edo era senryû poems stress how mortifying this publicity could be!).

Interestingly, some traditions were also pretty sweet: in some places, mothers would sew 3 stiches into their daughter's underskirt (koshimaki 腰巻き) as a good luck charm, hoping their periods would last only 3 days <3

Those rites were part of coming of age traditions (seijoshiki 成女式) which marked the start of a young woman adulthood. Another example is the blackening of teeth (ohaguro お歯黒) which usually started around 16-17 years old.

Celebrating menarche publicly was a way of advertising that the girl was no longer a child and would "soon" be a bride. Yet, if menarche often took place around 13-14 years old, in reality it was somehow unusual to have girls married so soon!

Before marriage, especially in non-noble/samurai families, young women often started their sexual life via flings or yobai 夜這い ("night crawling" ie pseudo-secret nighttime encounters) before any wedding actually took place.

#cw: periods #cw: sex mention #japan #japanese history #edo period #edo era #periods #sex education #sex history #sanitary pads #tampons #paper pads #ouma #mima #paper tampons #tsumeshi #coming of age rites #ressources #references

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hugs2doie · 1 year

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HI could u do when theyre clingy?? i love ur texts!

HIHI ANON!!! ofc !! also i didn’t do it in the text format cause it would be quiteeee long, also this is mixed with the dreamies if they want cuddles too? idk 😭 however i hope you like this and AAAAA THABK U SMMM

nct dream when they’re clingy !

pairing: bf!nctdream x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warning: none

𖦹 mark:

mark will give u little signals like hugging u more often that he would in a daily basis, hold ur hand etc and waits for ur reaction. if u are okay with it, he wouldn’t mind being more touchy and clingy. he would be flustered asking u stuff like “can u not leave the bed? i wanna stay with u like this a little longer” (prolly with some stutters too) and you just can’t say no. HOWEVER if you said no (i mean its kinda understandable, what if u were hungry or wanted to use the restroom) he would have a frown on his face and won’t say much about it, though you can still see the sadness in his eyes. but when you come back he will have that goofy (but cute 💔) giggle ☹️☹️ a clingy mark would probably mean a lazy day for the both of you.

𖦹 renjun

renjun would EXTRA nice to you and you’d just be like ???? like, how come he isnt roasting you AT LEAST twice?? you immediately understand why when he comes behind you while you were cooking (if you can cook😭) & wrap your hands around your waist & puts his head on your shoulder/the crook of your neck to ask how your day was. obviously, you’d literally melt from that, like c’mon, who wouldn’t? if you two were watching movies he’s tangle y’all’s legs & if you tried to get up he’d hold you closer and say smth like: “sit down, everything else can wait 🙄😒”.HE’D GET MOODY IF YOU WOULD STILL GET UP 😭😭 to the point where he’d ignore you,, but will get over it quickly cause he’s clingy & needs your attention. when you’d apologize he’d be like “okay fine ugh i’ll forgive you, just don’t do that again 😒”. a clingy renjun would mean that he wants to be the only thing (person) you see and focus at that moment.

𖦹 jeno

jeno would hold your hand quite often. he’d also give you lots of hugs and try to touch you in any way (ofc not sexual) while giving his significant eye smile to you. he would always try to be your side just to be around you. ofc you’d notice and give to him (as you should!!). however if you tried to tease him and pretend not to notice and go on with your day he’d get so sulky and wonders if the physical contact made you uncomfortable ☹️ once you see how he started to stop being clingy towards you, you’d quickly assure him that you’re teasing him and he’d smile & hug you again. if you’d get up and do smth he’d put his head on your shoulder and wait for you to finish also he would pretty much follow you like a puppy wherever you’d go. a clingy jeno would mean a puppy-like jeno (NOT LIKE A KINK THOUGH 😭).

𖦹 haechan

haechan would literally be STUCK like a glue to you. he would literally turn into a bear and not leave you alone for a second. it could go like : “babe i have to go” “no you dont” “you cant be gaslighting me haechan” “im not doing that, wdym?” LIKE HE WOULD NOT LET YOU LEAVEEE 😭 if you still MANAGED to leave, he’d be a whine mess and would keep on telling you to come back. if you wouldn’t be next to him for the next 10 seconds he’d get up and follow you around, like jeno, but he’d CLING into you till you get tired of it and go back to bed (or anywhere) to cuddle with him. HOWEVER HAECHAN MIGHT GIVE U AN ATTITUDE TOOSOMETIMES?? like when you would try to leave he’d probably scoff and tell you to not come back since you “clearly don’t love him” which if you ignored and left the room he would raise his voice so you could still hear and be like “wow the loml doesn’t even love me” or stuff like that 😭 i mean he obviously isn’t being serious, he just wants you to spend time with him esp when he needs it the most. a clingy haechan would mean an actual bear/koala haechan.

𖦹 jaemin

he’d probably give you a lot of kisses on your face while smiling it’d be soooo adorable 💔 he’d be kinda like jeno, following you around, but not like THAT much cause he’d understand if you’re busy and wait for you. i feel like clingy jaemin would be full of aegyo?? like if he would want smth he’d do aegyo in front of you 😭. all the time with you he’d be smiling ngl. i feel like if y’all would cuddle he’d like to put some cheesy romantic movie in the bg OOOR even music,, he’d be whispering you sweet stuff or compliments ugh i’m sick to my stomach 💔 i feel like jaemin would be the same if he’s clingy, but a bit more touchy. a clingy jaemin would mean a lovely dovely boyfriend (he always is but y’all know what i mean!).

𖦹 chenle

I FEEL LIKE CHENLES EGO WOULD MAKE IT HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT HES CLINGY??? like he might not try to cling to you cause he’s afraid you’d tease him about it 😭😭 however he’d tell you to stop working or moving around the house and just chill with him. if you said no, he’d help you so you would finish your work or wtv you’re doing faster. once y’all r done & are chilling at the couch he’d do that cliché thing the men do in movies: he’d pretend to yawn/stretch and put his arm around your shoulder 😭😭 after that you understand what’s going on and just give in to him and give him your full attention. chenle would have a proud smirk on his face CAUSEEE YOU DIDNT TEASE HIMMM 💯 but if you did he’d tell you to go away (jokingly) which you obviously wouldn’t do, instead, you’d try to get closer to him (anddddd he’d be very happy even though he wouldn’t show it). a clingy chenle would mean a big ego chenle.

𖦹 jisung

HE’D BE ADORABLE STOP THIS. okay so jisung would he VERYYYYYY shy to express how clingy he is feeling. this is probably because, 1) he’s afraid you might judge him & 2) he isn’t rlly into physical touch. he would give you signs by patting your head or being around you more often than usual. jisung would be satisfied just by a hug or two, or praising words/compliments. he would have his shy smile on his face, he’d even giggle ugh 💔💔 as i said, jisung isn’t rlly into physical touch however he wouldn’t mind it, so if y’all r cuddling he’d probably put his head on your chest and wrap his arms around you while you guys literally talk about anything, even the silliest things. he likes when he gets attention from you and absolutely loves when you drop anything for him & him only. a clingy jisung would mean a shy jisung.

requests r open !

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mysicklove · 6 months

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𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆

DAY 22: A/B/O

With: Isagi Yoichi

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Omega/bottom Isagi, Top/Alpha/Gn reader, omegaverse stuff (slick, claiming, scenting, etc.), isagi is in heat, readers pp could be read as strap or dick, marking/biting, slight blood, possesive behavior, instincts and stuff, isagi lowkey being feral

A/N: i like this one. and dont ask me why i know so much about a/b/o dynamics.'

Isagi was completely fine with being an omega. Sure, in the beginning he thought it may affect his soccer career, but as he grew and matured, he realized that it wasn't a problem anymore. Scent blockers and suppressants were a gift from the gods, and key factor of how he went pro. Without them he didn't know where he would be.

But, it led to an addiction. Constantly hiding his scent, hoping people may mistake him for being a beta so he doesn't have to deal with the slander omegas get on the field. And without heats he doesn't have to miss practice. Hence, every morning he puts a scent blocker sticker on his neck and wrist, and the second he feels a little amiss, he pops a heat suppressant. And he lived fine.

Except then you came into his life. An alpha.

Heats are supposed to be spent with you. His body was begging him to spend it with someone, but he shuts it down immediately. Its unhealthy, and he knows it. A doctor has reminded him for years now, but he brushed it aside.

The two of you had fought about it for about a year now. It was damaging his body, but he was too deep in his soccer career to sacrifice those multiple weeks of the year. You couldn't force him to do it, but every time you saw him pop that pill, and instinctual dread flooded your veins.

He hasn't had a real heat in five years. More than twice longer than what is considered “unhealthy” for an omega. It means when he finally does fall into it, its bound to be painful, and long lasting. Not only that, but his instincts are supposed to be heightened more than usual, so he doesn't know what he will say or do once he goes into it again.

But you finally convinced him spend it with you. He has been hinting for months now that he wanted you to mark him, but when he finally bluntly asked you to claim him, you said you would only do it during his heat. He agreed with much hesitancy.

It's a dread to think about, and honestly he is a little scared. But he promised you he would do it. He (very reluctantly) called off two weeks from soccer practice during off season, when he felt his pre-heat begin to creep up on him.

So, here he is. Going to have his first heat in five years.

The two of you stayed at his place. It was probably better to be at a spot he is comfortable with after all. The days before it weren't too bad, you forced him to put away the scent blockers for a couple of days, so the house smelled strongly of him. He went out of his way to scent as many things as possible, growing anxious as the days went by. He also built a nest on the space next to his bed, covered in blankets, pillows, and too many items from your dirty hamper. He was antsy during this time, finding himself clinging to you, and following you around the house. It was cute honestly, watching him have a slight pout while he grips onto your hand.

His body temperature started to pick up by the third day of his preheat. He started wearing less clothing, and you hand fed frozen fruit to him, hoping to cool him off just a little. He tosses and turns in the night, whining out for you to hold him, comfort him, make the strange feeling stop. It was so confusing and he hated it.

And finally after four days, he experienced his first heat since he was a teenager. It was in the middle of the night, the two of you in his nest, and you were fast asleep when he awoke. Every inch of his body ached, and he was panting. Sweat dripped down his temple, and he could feel slick stain his boxers. It made him groan in frustration, but he couldn't do anything about it because he was so horny.

Everything in him screamed for him to get filled, and as quickly as possible. He doesn't even think about it, tearing off his shirt and boxers. His now naked body trembles and he pants into the back of his hand, before turning to your sleeping form. He quickly finds himself scampering over to you, shaking you awake.

You turn to him with a groan, eyes blinking in the darkness to try to adjust themselves. “Yoichi?” You question, voice hoarse from sleep.

He basically tackles you, collapsing his entire body onto yours, and burying his face into your neck, scenting it quickly and desperately. “It’s h-here–dont know what to do. H-Help. Hurts. It hurts. Make it stop!”

You snap awake in an instant, resting your hand on the back of his head. He straddles your leg, beginning to hump at it. You croon at him, the sound low and comforting, hoping to calm him down just slightly. “What do you need me to do, Yoichi?”

He shakes his head back and forth in your neck. “I don't know! J-Just touch me. Please, alpha!”

You cup the back of his head, letting him rest in your neck, while you reach to grab his toy bag the two of you packed just a couple days earlier. You flick on the lamp on your nightstand and he glances at the bag in your hand, letting out a small growl and nipping at your skin.

You flinch, and he continues to growl, low, not threatening, but annoyed. “Don't want the toys. Touch me,” Isagi hisses, grinding his cock onto your leg.

“Feisty omega,” You murmur, setting the bag on the other side of the nest, and moving to reach behind him.

He gulps at the words, feeling bad already. His hormones are all out of wack, and he can't seem to think straight. He nuzzles into your neck and purrs, lifting his hips up to meet your fingers.

You use a finger to prod at his entrance, eyes slightly widening at the feeling. “Wow love, you are so wet. You're dripping all over your legs and the pillows,” You murmur in astonishment, dragging your finger around the hole.

He whines in embarrassment, cheeks flushed from his heat, and now from humilation. “D-Dont know why. I woke up and it hasn't stopped,” he complains, voice low and gruff. You continue to pet his hair, trying to comfort him.

You hum in response, pressing your other finger into his hole. He shivers at the feeling, clinging onto you in the darkness. When it slips in easier than usual, you prod another one, finding it just as easy to slip in. “Fuck Yoichi, you’re just begging to be fucked aren’t you. Taking it so easy.”

His back is arched by now, pressing into the fingers that are now scissoring him. “More. ‘ts not enough. Please, please. I need more, alpha!” He cries, both sides of him now leaking. His face is flushed, and his whole body feels like its on fire.

You shush his mewls, letting out a soothing scent and he moans into your neck. “Alright, alright. I’m going to make you feel good, relax,” you whisper, trying to pull yourself a way for minute to prepare yourself. He doesn't let you go far, arms wrapping around your entire body, breathing into your skin. The scent seems to make him feel grounded, and it's what he desperately needs right now.

“Here, lay down for me,” You encourage, trying to pull him off just for a second so that you can line yourself up with him. He doesnt seem to listen, shaking his head and panting. Sweat beads at his temples, and he's already beginning to beg again, but you push him to the bed, pinning his hands up for a moment while you press the tip into him.

He groans at the feeling, already borderline oversensitive. “Hold me. Please. Hold me, ‘s hot. I can't–”

You kiss his neck, pressing further inside of him, and his eyes widen, gasping at the feeling. His nails dig into your back and you try not to hiss out, continuing forward till you bottom out in him. Slick continues to leak out and onto the nest, but you don't say anything, afraid of embarrassing him.

But you couldnt help but notice the way his back arches, and the wet feeling now on the both of your stomachs. His breaths are shaky and his hold on you is weak. It gives you a chance to pull away for a second, glancing at the cum spread between the two of you.

He covers his face with his hand, blushing profusely. “I'm sorry. Don't know what happened. J-Just felt…really good,” He warbles, not daring to look at you, but feeling himself begin to grow hard again.

You giggle at him, planting a soft kiss to his lips. “S’alright. So cute, Yoichi. Wanna take a break then?”

His eyes are back onto you in an instant, wide and panicking. “N-No! You can't stop, please keep going!” He begs, lifting his hips to grind his cock on your stomach in a plea.

You know it's the heat talking, so you don't dare to tease him, afraid of pissing him off. So you abide by your omegas command.

“Fuckkkk,” He breathes, eyes rolling back when you start to pick up the pace. You grip at the back of his head, pulling him into a kiss, and thrusting forward. His legs wrap around your waist, and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you impossibly closer. Your thrusts are hard, short, and make a lewd slapping noise from the skin to skin contact.

Isagi pulls away from the kiss, eyes cloudy, and mouth slightly swollen from the attention. “Alpha. Alpha. Alpha. Alpha,” He chants, mewling at every thrust, while slick drips down his thigh..

You kiss his cheek, humming to him in question. “Right here. I'm here. Doing so well. Such a pretty omega,” You coo in response, and the effects are immediate. He purrs at your voice, nuzzling into your neck and scenting you with a small fucked out grin.

“Mark me.”

You pause your movements, eyes flashing to his blue ones. He whines at the interruption, grabbing at your hips to pull you in closer. “Right now? It's so early,” You reason, growing dizzy off his warm scent.

It turns sour in an instant. “Y-You dont want me?”

He was being unreasonable, but that was the heat talking. His brain wasn't in the right place, and the second you didn't agree, it hurt. Way more than it should have. Tears prick at his eyes, and he begins to push you away, feeling gross with himself.

You don't let him go far, releasing a calming scent, and crooning to him. “Not what I meant. Relax, omega. It's okay, you're okay. I'll mark you, will that make you feel better?”

He clings onto you immediately, scent light again. “Please please please. Wanna be yours. Your omega. Please bite me!”

You groan, grabbing his hips and forcing him back down onto the length. He gasps, trembling, but now baring his neck to you.

“You're going to be the death of me, Yoichi,” You sigh, not liking how much control he has over you. Between the scent and his lewd words, which would never come out of his mouth if he wasn't in heat, it was hard to stay present in the moment.

“Please please please,” he cries, grabbing your hair and forcing you toward his very own neck. You glance at him one last time, looking at his glassy eyes, and flushed cheeks. He nods at you, a whine slipping past his lips.

You take one last deep breath, inhaling your lovers intoxicating scent and bury your teeth into his neck. He yelps, gripping onto your hair as tears drip down his cheeks. But his back arches, and hes cumming again from the action. His head spins as he feels your tongue lick at the wound, crooning out apologies for the pain.

Your thrusts have slowed down slightly, but they are deeper, harder. After cumming two times Isagi feels himself grow tired, weaker, but every cell in his body is screaming at him to go again and again. Till he passes out, if he must.

“You alright? My omega…All mine,” You whisper, brushing away his sweaty bangs. He feels light headed, absolutely amazed at the feeling of being claimed after all this time and your words, but frustrated from your bare neck. It's not fair.

A possessive nature takes over him, and he lets out a small growl. You raise your eyebrows at him, confused by the sudden aggression. He was always pretty temperamental, but you granted his wish, and were fucking him, what more could he need?

A pair of canines dig into your neck before you could even process his movements. It makes you wince, hissing out and shivering as you feel his tongue lick over the wound. “N-No warning?” You half complain, not minding the feeling of being marked by him.

He doesnt seem to be listening, heat clouding all coherent thoughts. “My alpha. Mhmmm. Mine, mine, mine.”

“Possessive little thing. S-Supposed to be my line,” You laugh at him lightly, and he pulls away for the first time tonight, maneuvering you until he is sitting on your lap, and beginning to raise himself up and down. Two hands fall on your stomach to help steady himself as he begins to grind on the length, head falling backward as he pants at the ceiling.

His movements are frantic, desperate even, as if he was afraid he would never get a chance to cum again. His own cum on his stomach is beginning to dry up, but he doesn't seem to mind. His cock flops back and forth at his movements, and sweat drips down his neck. His whole body seems to be a pinkish shade, covered in sweat. It makes you slightly worried, but knowing him, if you force him to stop so that you can check on him, he may try to kill you.

He cums again without much warning, his fingers curling up and eyes rolling backward. The stream is weaker, dripping pathetically down his cock. His whole body trembles and he collapses forward onto you, pawing at you to hold him again.

You grab water from the nightstand and basically force it down his throat, the excess dripping down his chin and onto your chest. He gulps it down without much complaint, staring at you with lidded eyes the entirety of it. “Lets take a break,” You mumble, caressing his cheek and wiping away the water.

He purrs into your touch, and realigns himself up again, a drunken smile on his face. “Not a chance, alpha,” Isagi says, sinking onto the length to try to chase his fourth orgasm that night.

The two of you get little sleep, and you awoke to him grinding on your leg, and biting at your ear, begging you to make him feel good again, full again. But even in your exhausted state, you didn't mind too much, because how could you say no to your precious omega?

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genderfluid-culture-iss · 3 months

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for the baby genderfluid tips!!

this could just be me lmao, but DO NOT donate your fem clothes if you feel masc for longer than usual. or vice versa.

keeping a gender journal is something that can be really helpful to actually look back on and see how it changes (and also have proof of fluidity for when you begin to think "hmm actually im just a trans girl. nothing else." no, you probably aren't. you felt completely boy/nonbinary/etc just a month ago, and thats okay.)

basically it can be really hard to embrace that your gender is not static, especially if your gender stays stable for a slightly longer period. it took me so long to stop rotating between "im a girl always" "no, im a boy always" "actually, im nonbinary always" to just admit im genderfluid.

also, make genderfluid content. you don't have to show it to anyone, but sometimes it can really help to make poetry or art or write a story about being fluid and your experience in particular. i have an easy avenue for this since i write fanfiction (haven't published any of it yet lmao) and i just hit my favorite characters with my genderfluid beam and go nuts

follow people who are genderfluid, read genderfluid books, maybe join a genderfluid discord server (there are barely any, so actually maybe make one), try to make genderfluid friends. you are not alone, even though it sometimes feels that way.

if you have plushies or anything similar, make them genderfluid. i have a genderfluid squishmallow who i use she/they pronouns for, and a little husky that switches between he/she. idk it just helps sometimes lol

some of us change gender daily, or multiple times a day. some of us change gender only a couple times a year, or even less. we're all different and that's fine.

tips for presentation:

if you have a day when you can't figure out gender, go neutral clothing-wise

take little things to ease dysphoria if you switch when you're out somewhere (ex. lipgloss, eyeliner, leather bracelet, etc)

if you can, get pronoun pins. seriously, get pronoun pins (or a colored bracelet for subtlety or if you're not out). you can wear multiple at a time, you can switch them whenever you need to. you aren't a burden if your pronouns change. you don't have to stick to they/them to be easy for people.

if you can, get a versatile hairstyle that you can make suit your gender no matter what. if you cant, try to get a hairstyle that makes you the least dysphoric overall.

if you are organized enough, separate your clothes based on gender/what you feel comfy wearing on different days. do not pressure yourself to fit stereotypes. some people can only feel comfortable in skirts when theyre boys, so they only wear skirts on boy days. do what works for you.

it's kinda complicated, but if you can expand your vocal range to sound more fem or masc depending on how you feel, it can help. alternatively, vocal train to make it more androgynous.

keep makeup wipes with you in case you need to take it off part way through being out. basically, make it as easy as possible to be able to change/tweak your presentation if necessary.

this could just be me, but having lots of hoodies in different colors and styles will save your life

sometimes you might have "blender days", which is what i call it when your gender feels like its in a blender in a bad way and you can't tell at all what it is, everything feels wrong, it's changing like every 10 minutes, etc. tbh on these days all i can do is put on sweats and a hoodie and feel dysphoric. listen to music if it helps. do a hobby.

non-clothing items can help a lot. a blue tshirt and jeans can be whatever you want it to be based on what you wear it with. (ex. sneakers/ballet flats, leather bracelet/sparkly necklace, baseball cap/eyeliner)

and lastly: YOU ARE AMAZING. keep being you, keep being incredible, and know that being genderfluid is a gift. be proud to be who you are, have fun, know that you are unique and special and wonderful!! we're ever-changing, and that's awesome. you are precious. i love you.

🩷🤍💜🖤💙

dont wanna link my tumblr, but my name is kiley if you want to attach a name to this!

Okay this is a lot more than I was expecting LMAO /pos

Thank you so much for this Kiley <33 I’ll start working on a masterpost with links to all this.

#genderfluid #genderfluid culture is #genderfluid culture #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq+#anon #anonymous #Genderfluid tips #Baby genderfluid tips #Genderfluid help

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ganondoodle · 6 months

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random thought about the memory system

a big difference between why botws memories worked so well but totks didnt is mainly bc in botw, there wasnt that much plot, you kinda knew what was up by the time you left the tutorial, all memories serve you just as well as link, sending you around a hyrule you dont know, the few scenes of main characters do a good job of giving you an idea of who they are, but the majority is focused on zelda and link, why she acted to cold to him at first and later became friends, the characterization being not jsut in memories but also in how people remember them, their diary etc, when you meet their ghosts theres a familiarity to how they talk to you, they know and care about you, its like giving you late friend one last visit; getting memories out of order really doesnt hurt that characterization and overall it really just serves to flesh out the past and what made this world the way you see it now but mainly it gives you characters

in totk, its ... the main plot driving thing, you are here for the story now more than the world bc you know the world already, besides the sages stuff (that isnt much either besides some legends that apprently were always a thing but never popped up until now), its basically the entire plot and it all hinges on it, its trying to be both plot and character introduction AND characterization, which it simply cant do; we already know zelda and what shes like, but its like the game itself doesnt know what to do with her now, she doesnt do anything, she stands around listenign to strangers talk, whenever she says anything shes dismissed or it simply doesnt matter, the most she does is go around to faceless and nameless sages of old we dont know nor care about in a damn near copy paste scene begging them to help link of the far future somehow even tho they really have no reason to and then she swallows a stone bc she has literally no other choice; fleshing out the past doesnt work either bc this past is so far removed from anything of the world and people you know that theres simply no meaningful connection to make you really care, there are no characters alive that knew the people of old ...except mineru and rauru are still there, but then dont tell you shit, theres so much you dont know about them, their world or history and they dont tell you anything bc *gestures vaguely* ?? even ganondorf only says some standard villain stuff that tells us pretty much nothing about him nor rauru, no one in your time asking you who the hell that ghost powered robot is? no she sits in her robot somewhere deep underground (how does she even get out of there at the end, she needed you to drive her around to her own temple after all) given how straight up obsessed hyrules entire population is with sonau stuff they sure dont do anything with a literal person from that time and then at the end she jsut goes poof, welp, guess we will never, sure, fine keep your secrects; getting the memories out of order destroys literally any kind of story that was there, like it wasnt predicatble from like memory 3 to where it would go (predicable can be good but in this case its boring as hell) anyway

.. theres more i could talk about but this is already longer than intended and i want to do other things but this with my evening, you probably heard most of my problems with this game in my rants by now anyway

#ganondoodles talks #ganondoodles rants #zelda #totk #i dont quite know why i suddendly wanted to mention this #also too tired to add my equally long tag rants lol

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

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WIBTA For Snitching On My Brother?

tl;dr at the end, the submissions a bit long. sorry if this sounds like stupid teen drama, but i needed outside opinions. (tw for mentions of attempted suicide)

so for a bit of context here, me (14nb) and my brother (14m) both have Parental RestrictionsTM on our phones. In my opinion they are way more severe than they need to be. i am not allowed to have any social media at all, my mother barely tolerates discord. I cannot text anyone who is not my direct sibling or parent from 9pm at night to noon the next day and i cant use any "nonessential" apps during that time frame too. my brother has the same restrictions on his phone, but he has safari removed because my mother said he was playing "random internet games". however, he has found ways around this and ways around the app restrictions. i know how he does it. i really dont have any intention of telling our mother, its none of my business and i honestly dont care that much.

I recently moved to a new school. My brother and i were homeschooled prior to this during covid. And it was fine. We went to a homeschool co-op twice a week. A year ago we were both enrolled in Local Community College as dual enrollment students. A semester into that i was Not Vibing Well and ended up having a breakdown and getting a therapist. I would talk to her directly about this but i havent been able to see her in weeks due to scheduling conflicts. The workload seemed too much to me, there was no longer a distinction between School and Home. i felt like i was constantly on the clock, and i barely saw my friends. In addition to other factors at my co-op, I got very lonely. At that time the limits on my phone were 9pm-3pm (it was later edited to 9am to noon) . I cant remember exactly what happened, but i asked my mother to at least change the communication limits so that i could talk to my friends during the day. She said no, stating that I Do Not Need to Communicate With Friends During The School Day. i do not have a real “school day” i am at home basically 5/7 days of the week. And normal kids see their friends every day at school. The argument got dropped then.

Fast forward half a year, i felt increasingly lonely, out of place, bothersome, etc, at my co-op and have decided to try going to Local Public Highschool. This meant leaving my best friend (14f) whom i love dearly (for the purposes of this post i will call her Z). Z is one of my favorite people in the whole world, we got platonically married, I lovingly refer to her as “my wife”, and i would genuinely die for her. She got a phone over the summer which means we have a better way to communicate, replacing discord as the primary communication system. Also at that time one of my best online friends fucked up their discord account somehow and the whole online group moved to text. there's about four of them? J, Other J, B, and L (ages vary from 12-16). I believe only B is directly relevant to this story but the others are worth mentioning. Additional context (tw for mentions of suicide from now on), all of those four are varyingly suicidal. B has attempted before, at least twice I believe. out of the group i am probably the most mentally stable.

School starts! I am already feeling a bit lonely due to leaving Z but we stay positive. I wake up for school at like 530 and check my phone at like 6:45. Woohoo a message from B! It was sent at 4 am. This is concerning. There is a glitch that i can use in order to view texts for between half a second and four seconds, it depends, and i use it. B’s message reads “Bye”. theres no fucking reason that they would be texting me goodbye at 4am in the morning unless they were going to kill themselves. I cannot properly view or respond to that text until noon, so eight hours. I wait to know if my friend is ok for eight hours, and at noon i check my phone again. In that time i’ve received messages from the groupchat. J, Other J, and L all received “bye” texts from B at around the same time period. After a few messages, we know B is ok, i dmed them privately and they responded both in ims and the gc. So they are ok. But i had to wait for eight hours to know that. Later that day i asked my mom if she had considered my proposal (i asked her a day or two before if she would at least turn off communication limits because it is also rather embarrassing to be honest to have to tell other people that oh i cant respond to your message right now, sorry my mom has limits on my phone :D. In addition i get anxious when i send a message that im nervous abt and it doesnt get responded to for hours so i hate leaving messages for longer than two hours). Once again, she said no. it goes against her Views As A Parent for me to have “unrestricted access” to my phone. She offered to add only Z to the list of people i can contact during the limits. This is better than nothing but Z texts more in the groupchat than she does in private messages so it wouldn’t work that well. We argued, it didnt work out, i got pissed off and we both went to bed. i very strongly feel that for like my mental health i need to be able to communicate with my friends better than i can at the moment. And i dont want to wake up to a message from a friend, have it be the last one they ever send, and not be able to respond for hours.

Heres where the part where i could be an asshole comes in. (so sorry that that was really long i didnt know what parts would be needed as context and what were not so i just typed everything i think might be relevant). This isnt something that i am very strongly considering, as i truly dont want to fuck up my relationship with my brother and i love him a lot. I just want opinions on whether it would like be going too far i guess. I am considering offering a trade. I tell my mother how my brother has found ways around his limits, and she turns off the communication limits on my phone. WIBTA if i did that?

TL;DR: would i be the asshole if i snitched on how my brother got around some restrictions in exchange for me being able to communicate with my friends?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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cupcraft · 8 months

Text

Ranboo rebrand stream important stuff in one single post!:

if anything i missed pls rb and add on!

chat etiquette! They are going to be more strict with this (but not for new chatters honest mistakes).

Ban 101 -> the number 1 rule:

racism, antisemitism, homophobia, transphobia, discrimination. Instant ban, no excuse. Even bigoted jokes! 0 tolerance! you will be banned from even viewing the streams. This even counts on doing it on other streamer's chats/platforms if found out!

More rules: be funny (please!) and chill and kind and use emotes (including BTTV), dont spam chat (will be fixed/enforced bc of past issues),

other tidbits/news:

the vtuber/stuff will evolve over time, there are different vtuber outfits/costumes planned (ex they have an mcc outfit already!), the room in the background will change, they will be reaching out to ppl for collabs (feel free to recommend people but do not spam their chats!), planning to do more irl streams (will be weird/experimental and they will go wild! They will be making weird stuff!), they also have plans that they are excited to tell and its been a long time coming (this may be the cake video but i couldnt tell in stream), ranboo bakes a cake 2 will be coming TOMORROW on youtube (23 mins and incredible! they laughed at themself), ranboo plans to do experimental stuff on youtube (they have gotten into film lately!), founder's cut of gen 1 of genloss will be coming out 2-3 months ?? date/end of year, the vtuber ranjacket will be a part of the merch drop prototype at vidcon (physical jacket!), will be doing competitive/events with people (like organized little thing) (content/what it is undetermined) and he wants it to be obscure and random, ranboowaslive will start to ramp up a bit (more clips/compilations to come esp if you dont enjoy long vod watching), ranboo will be eating a nintendo DS cartridge live on stream (a joke!), MORE SURPRISES KEPT AS A SECRET + tiny plans in the works, they are moving into the new place/still have boxes to unpack (vtuber lore), he may finish the last of us part 2, subathon (really like back to back fun streams/long streams/playthrough of long games like omori) in january probably, splatoon may return,

What does the new era mean/qna stuff?

talking about old content is fine as long as you recognize that it is the PAST and not the kind of content ranboo makes now. Do not "put them back in the box".

Vtuber: will not be used all the time. They will do facecam streams too. Depends on how he feels.

why the r800: the 8 looks like a b LMAO

this is just the start of rebrand. He will re-establish a lot, things will be easier to find/reorganized, slowly over the weeks things will be changing.

what will happen tothe alt twitter (ranaltboo)?: new pfp, same energy (see below my shitty sc). art creds to mochi!

not only just a rebrand for him and the look of the content. But also it is a rebrand of how they act around and view their own content. they may not be as in the community as he has been (liking fanart/in chat/etc.) out of recommendation from people! If ranboo needs to be aware of something THEY HAVE PEOPLE to make him aware of important issues/emergencies and they will be focusing more on themself and the content overall. they are thankful to be allowed to do this, as they dont want to keep seeing things they dont want to see/have that anxiety. Less scrolling = more content!

They will probably have longer streams again!

will move to more mature jokes/phrases and may have content labels on the streams. Overall, streams will be pg-13 mostly.

TITS stands for twitch integrated throwing system [insert ranboo's giggle here]

All proceeds donated to ranboo's channel only go to charity! Not to them at all! They have a list of charities that he supports and will be changed 1-3 months at a time like usual!

Please make stuff. This is how he gets ppl who edit and the emote makers/artists. Not forced. Just encouraging ppl who make stuff to make stuff and he appreciates it and loves it! Even if it is not about him just make it! AND SUPPORT ARTISTS BOOBERS!

#ranboo.liveblog #ranboo #ranboolive #main tagging bc this is important i think!#pleek rb if you want!

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angelltheninth · 1 year

Note

Ok, so I have been so hyper fixated on trigun this year, and while I’m not seeing Trigun on your character list, but I saw you answered an ask for it, and I’m not 100% sure what your hard limits are for dark and dark adjacent content, and like trauma related headcanons/character reactions (or if this even technically counts as dark content?) so I’m gonna chance it and throw in a request for Vash and Wolfwood reacting to either finding out and/or running into the reader’s abusive ex, and just idk, how understanding they would try to be about things like trying to avoid startling them, giving the reader some time to ease into sexual and emotional intimacy, etc. and if they would get particularly protective, or even (probably more in Wolfwood’s case) vengeful about it, about it if they did run into said ex.

(if you don’t feel comfortable doing it 100% fine, I get it, and either way I appreciate all the writing you do! Also you’ve lowkey got me considering checking out some new shows, and manga like Bluelock, and you’ve got me thinking about RWBY for the first time in a while ngl)

I'm okay with mentioning darker topics but I don't go too into detail with them.

Pairing: Vash the Stampede, Nicholas D. Wolfwood x Fem!Reader

Tags: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, abusive ex, protectiveness, kissing, intimacy issues

A/N: Blue Lock is fucking crazy, crazy fun. And RWBY has gotten pretty dark and depressing lmao.

VASH

He's a very touchy, happy guy so he was a little surprised when you recoiled from his touch

Not a violent or even confrontational guy by any means, he'd much rather talk things out then have to point his gun at someone but... if you're scared of something, or someone he gets serious

Very slow when he approaches you from behind and always announces himself beforehand

Forehead kisses, he can never give you enough of them when he sees you feeling stressed

Not much of a cook, he can make food but its nothing fancy as far as comfort food goes

When you're shaking he places his red coat over you and bundles you up in it all warm and cozy, wrapped in his scent

Tries to remove you and himself from your ex after he finds out the story behind it, no reason you should be around them for a moment longer, they don't deserve to even look at you

If they keep bothering you he will walk up to them with a calm smile on his face

He doesn't look nearly as scary when he's smiling so they wouldn't expect him pull his gun out and press it against the side of their chin

Seeing your ex sweeting bullets while Vash smiles at you and wraps his arm around you makes your heart flutter and your eyes water

NICHOLAS

He waits for you to touch him rather then him touching you, as much as he wants to he knows what its like to have bounderies crossed

Knows he's a little scary, with that almost permeant scowl he has on his face

Its good for business but not so good when he's trying to make friends, or more in your case

He's not the kind of guy to ask many questions when he sees that someone is making you uncomfortable, or even scared

Good at reading body language, he doesn't have to ask you if there's anything wrong, he can see it by your stiff posture, your hands bunched up across your chest, flinching when the other person leans in or raises their hand

On his watch no one, no matter who they are or were to you, get to reduce you to such a state of fear and get away with it without bruises

His hands will end up bloody and bruises by the time he's done beating up your ex in the back of the bar, where they can moan in pain all they want

You feel bad about Nicholas so you to wash and bandage his hands

He won't tell you not to, he knows how much you worry about him and how much you like helping him out

But once you are done he will slowly and gently wrap his arms around your shoulders and pulls you against his body, he might be a Punisher to others but you never need to be afraid of him, to you he will be your protector

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figgrrr0 · 1 year

Note

Hey hey Im back again!! I hope youre still open for accepting headcanon requests <33 this time i wanna req What is it like for Heizou, Xiao and venti (seperate) to date a fem!reader who is taller than them? (Nsfw or sfw is fine!)

Their girlfriend is taller than them

Characters: Heizou, Xiao, Venti // Reader: Female

Genre: Smut, only fluff for Xiao // CWs next to the corresponding character

Heizou

Cw: Body worship, height difference, mentioned high heels

• Would forget how tall you are until he walks up to you and is eye level with your chest. This would happen almost every single time. It doesn't even matter if you've got any skin showing, just the realisation of how tall you are compared to him will make him temporarily short-circuit. Heizou would lose all the confidence he'd strode up with, mentally criticising himself for forgetting, when, one: you're literally his girlfriend; he sees you every day! How could he forget? And two: it's his job to file away information about people and be able to recall it all in a moment's notice! The only way to stop him from kicking himself for this, is to bring his attention back to you. Now, this could very easily be done just by laughing a little at the annoyed expression on his face, but some good old physical touch will do the job even better. Though, this will also restore his boldness, so watch out, cause Heizou has a full arsenal of tactics to turn the nervousness back onto you.

• Because of how easy to reach they are, Heizou would be worshipping your breasts daily. I mean, they're the perfect height for him to just smush his face into. Not only that, I think he'd have a thing for just your overall height. Some of your limbs are obviously going to be longer than his own (arms, legs, torso, etc.), and the difference is going to be so interesting to him, plus its extra space for him to kiss and explore. Bonus points if you ever wear high heels. I really can't figure out why but I just think that Heizou would have a thing for height differences to his own disadvantage, but at the same time that'd just make him want to try and keep the control even more. It'd give him a pleasurable power trip.

Xiao

Cw: Slight strength kink? Maybe a little, apart from that it's just fluff. Cuddling, clothes stealing.

• Your height would be oddly comforting to Xiao. He'd feel safer in your presence than most others, but he loves how easy it is for you to completely wrap yourself around his body when you're cuddling up together (I am a firm believer that Xiao is a little spoon. Fight me). Your arms and legs would be able to trap him, and though he isn't used to the touch, even just the thought of leaving to go and fulfill his duties isn't as appealing as feeling your body caging him in. But, what's even better, is that, despite how strong he is thanks to his powers as a yaksha, there's a possibility that if you were to lock your arms and legs together around him, he might find it harder to escape than expected... he's almost tempted to try it out one of these days.

• Oh, your clothes are big enough to fit him? Too big? Yeah, you're coming home to Xiao absolutely drowning in your sweaters. They're comfy, warm, and they remind him of you. Could he possibly get any cuter?! Probably, but he's feeling a little too shy at being caught stealing your clothes. He'd try making up an excuse, and a very poor one at that, but please don't let him take it off. After that first day, you likely won't see him wearing your clothes for about a month after that; but gradually, it just becomes something that you come home to more often than not, to the point that if he's not wearing some article of your clothing, you'll start to get worried that he's upset with you, as rare as that would be.

Venti

Cw: Groping, role reversal, implied cross-dressing

• We all know that Venti would use any and all excuses that he could find to slip his hands under your clothes, shamelessly groping whatever skin his fingers can touch; usually your thighs or boobs, but even just feeling the heat from your stomach is fine (except for the fact that he always does it when his hands are extremely cold...). Unfortunately for you, this is usually just a ploy for him to be able to tickle you once you let your guard down. Being taller than him just gives him easier access, how is he supposed to resist?! And, he won't even need to use as strong of a gust of wind to see up your skirt... your height is doing half of the work already!

• He would be an absolute menace. Suddenly, every single item that he needs is too high up for him to reach... I wonder how that happened? Oh well, who cares? Cause now he needs your help to get it down! He likes playing up how much stronger your stature would imply that you are compared to him (even though he is a literal archon...). He's not-so-secretly turned on by the role reversal, since the guy in a relationship is most commonly the taller. But, you being taller than him and being able to help him with everything so easily is a one way ticket to unlocking his brattiness and laziness all mixed together. And, if you go along with his little games long enough? Well. I think it could potentially escalate to Venti trying on some skirts for you and making the role reversal even more prominent...

Want to send a request/brainrot with me? Check my rules!

Thank you for reading! 🩷

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makapatag · 3 months

Text

dagger-and-blowgun-fused-into-spear pamaagi

or: the transfer from dice pool to the violence dice in GUBAT BANWA

i've written about this in a longer devlog, but i wanted to take a secondary abridged (and personal) dive into the change. also i'll probably start releasing devlogs and essays back on my patreon soon because damn if that place isn't barren

gubat banwa is a game of larger than life martial heroes fighting for their convictions in a setting rooted on southeast asian folklores and cultures. before december, and even during its kickstarter, i was pretty set on the game being a dice pool system. i felt it accurately conveyed the feeling of that sekiro-esque back and forth: one attacks, the other defends. every dice is an attack launched, a sword swing, a gun breath to aim or part of a gun's loading sequence, an arrow trained on an enemy. every defense dice is an attempt at a parry. it was a cool concept! and there's definitely ways to make it sing and shine

unfortunately as with all game design choices, not every cool idea fits snugly into the greater whole--if i wanted my game to sing and shine, each component must work in tandem with the other components. it's a choir, or a puzzle--one mechanic slightly off is fine, one that's completely off kinda wrecks the entire thing

i found that the dice pool back and forth interaction more or less worked better for a more non-grid based combat game. one that works perhaps with zones and rules. one where the fiction zooms in to a specific exchange between the attacker and the defender. while this is also a game design objective of gubat banwa, it had to be in tandem with the fact that it is a tactical grid game as well. it had to put in mind that the mechanics were also focused on forced movement, collisions, reactive moments from other players, etc.

in a non-grid based combat game, where the focus is on that flurrious exchange only, then it might have worked. but that is unfortunately not the only important thing in gubat banwa's design goals.

additionally, sussing out and feeling out one's own tactical consequences were hugely obfuscated by the dice pool. the probabilities weren't as clear, the attack forecast was esoteric, and was even hard to properly model in an automated system. this detracted from the simple and tactical design of the game.

so the Violence Die was established. Each technique had a die or a number of dice that was rolled--this determined whether the attack hit and how much damage was. it was the attack roll and damage roll in one.

Essentially, making an attack goes like this: Roll Violence Dice (can add any bonuses to the Violence Die here) -> if higher than target's EVADE, keep going. Otherwise, the attack is avoided -> Add the defined attack Prowess (FEROCITY for physical attacks, SPIRIT magick attacks) and any other damage modifiers, including any additional damage dice -> the target then reduces that damage by their Defense (PARRY or RESILIENCE, as defined by the Technique) -> Apply the final damage to the target. This keeps going until the target gains Damage equal to or greater than their POSTURE, in which caste they are defeated as they are struck with a decisive blow.

The process of adding damage replaces the process of counting Hits. The process of reducing damage replaces the process of counting Parries and cancelling Hits. They reside in similar design mindspaces, and so with a simpler rolling mechanic I was more or less able to transfer the math to a more linear math while keeping the "exchange" feel of an attack. All because of the forced processes one must go down when rolling an attack that strikes home and is not avoided.

In the fiction, rolling Violence Dice is the attack attempt. The swinging of halberds, the lightning arrows loosed from the bow, the sword swings as the swordsman advances. If it is avoided, the target manages to back away, use the environment to avoid the attack, flip away, vault over, or otherwise completely avoid the attack.

If it hits home however, the target is forced to reckon: the damage applied and the bonus damage is the number of attack launched in the assault, or perhaps the precision of an attack, or perhaps the number of mantras and mudras uttered to cast a spell. They must attempt to PARRY it away, or they must test their RESILIENCE as the attack washes over them. Fireballs they block, with their armor or their shields or their bare forearms. Sword strikes they quickly move to meet with their own strikes, parrying and ducking and flipping over them.

Then, their Posture is shaken of course as they receive Damage. As they gain more Damage, the more they know that they are going to be open to a Decisive Blow, and so they must be tactical.

In physical play, rolling a single die has made things much snappier (and even in online play). The excitement of the roll is still there: there's a chance you might EVADE the attack completely, after all! the change has become beneficial for everyone--for those that like to describe their attacks, for those that just interface directly with the mechanics, and much more. this piece of tech arose after a particularly grueling game of D&D Onslaught.

before this, i even played with an attack - counterattack system, kind of like pbta "if you roll mid you also suffer harm", but it felt pretty counterintuitive for a tactics game where you're already using up a lot of resources to do things, and also one where the initiative is alternating (which already does the whole, you act the world reacts feel pretty well). attacking becomes a dangerous proposition for any fighter, which does not feel well when you're martial heroes.

the dice pool was a good idea but it was detrimental to the larger process of the tactics game. i had to balance that to really achieve the "martial arts tactics fantasy" that gubat banwa really wanted to achieve with its fighting mechanics.

i called this blowgun and dagger to spear because in seasian martial ways their blowguns were long enough to be shafts and their daggers were often placed on top of staffs to make spears. i combined the fictional sensibilities of the dice pool system with the easier and more transparent math of the Violence Die system to create a veritable spear of a mechanic

#gubat banwa #dev #gamedev #writing #rpg #dnd #southeast asia #waksdev

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coldresolve · 3 months

Text

are you a torture apologist, or are you just dumb

... said with all the due diligence this subject warrants, etc etc. i’ve written posts about this before, it’s fallen on deaf ears, people either aggressively ignore it, or they go out of their way to take me in bad faith, and when the latter doesn’t work, they fall back on ye olde reliable: tone policing. but we’ve had that conversation too, haven’t we? it’s my culturally determined value of blunt honesty versus your culturally determined value of politeness. i express my opinions in a way that’s admittedly harsh and hyperbolic, and in so doing, my intention is to treat you like someone who is mature enough to distinguish my point from its delivery, and emotionally well-adjusted enough to deal with whatever the fuck some rando on the internet has to say about what you wrote. i also do it because its more fun this way. are we still cool? ffs lol

the thing is, right, it’s fucking easy not to write torture apologia. very straight-forward and simple, in my humble little opinion. you learn what the usual arguments are, and then you try to avoid accidentally making them – a bit like how, when you learn that white supremacy is a thing, you typically then go on to try and not write some wildly racist shit. same principle.

and i genuinely don’t understand why people are so opposed to this, specifically. they don’t know they’re doing it, which is fine, but then when you try to let them know they’re doing it, on the off-chance they even acknowledge that you said anything, they’ll hit you with an “its just for entertainment,” or “it’s not that deep.” so you tell them they sure seem to spend an awful lot of time weaving torture apologia into their vapid, shallow entertainment. and they don’t like that, jesus. but what else are you supposed to say?

i figure i just havent bullied people hard enough about it, honestly. and by bullied i mean pointing out the mindless use of torture apologia as plot points in the slop everybody writes. i would happily tell all of this directly to the writers of 24’s jack bauer, but those guys aren’t here, so.

you probably won’t be surprised to learn that the majority of the myths surrounding torture are rooted in facistic, reactionary thinking. might makes right is big among people who endorse corporal punishment; the ends justify the means is in play when governments try to excuse the use of t-, ahem, enhanced interrogation tactics. allegedly.

and among a much, much longer laundry list of bullshit i’ve seen spewed – oh, not by shady governments, but by you:

torture as an interrogation method yields reliable information

some forms of torture are more sophisticated than others

torture makes people obedient

torture used as a punishment deters unwanted behavior in others

brainwashing is a thing that is possible (usually through torture)

it’s not torture unless it leaves a physical mark on the body

see to me, it’s fucking easy to rework that scene in your story where torture results in the perpetrator gaining trustworthy intel. fucking easy to reconsider that arc where a character gets rewired by torture into passive obedience. fucking easy, when writing a story, to not accidentally send the message that torture is a tool that works. but hey, allow me to really dig my teeth in.

you drumming up your torturer as “skilled” in the “art” of torture feeds real nicely into the myth that torture works as an interrogation method, here under the condition that you should at least do it properly. is that what you believe? or do just believe that there’s an extra special way to cause extreme physical or emotional destress in a person which, for vague unspecified reasons, superceeds all the other, more amateurish ways one could go about it? the former would make you an direct torture apologist – the latter, a fucking twat. ask yourself why “some torture methods are more sophisticated than others” is an idea that needs to be perpetuated. who benefits from that idea? who would feel really validated by that idea? which government on this green earth of ours, hypothetically speaking, could use this idea as a way to paint their own acts of torture as more cultured or civilized than, say, hypothetically speaking, the torture used by those other nations where the brown people live? allegedly.

alternatively, your little good boy slave fantasy seems to imply that being subjected to torture will make a person obedient. is that what you believe? is it true that might makes right? say, wouldn’t state-sanctioned corporal punishment be justified as a tool to make people obey the law, then? no? okay, hear me out then, cause this is really out there, but. could the idea that violence is a tool that makes people more compliant with the demands of their aggressors, possibly maybe perhaps, be something you only find it acceptable to greenlight as the result decades of war propaganda? naaaaah. fiction isn’t reality, and it means nothing, and victims of torture are weak and malleable and broken, and also what they say can’t be trusted cause they have no real fucking agency anyway. fuck me.

“but elias,” i hear you say, “how am i supposed to write an interesting story that features torture in a way that’s in accordance with scientific consensus on its effectiveness and/or consequences? realism and compelling storytelling are diametrically opposed to one another!”

here’s my take: you just straight up lack creativity. cope and seethe.

if you’re interested in writing about torture, read up on what it is, instead of assuming everything you’ve been told by military-sponsored action movies is true and valid. we’re talking about some pretty extreme facets of human behavior and psychology here, but ones that none the less exist in reality. the bare minimun is to not buy in to the myths and propaganda surrounding it. the next step is to write what it can look like in reality. the big boy galaxy brain move is to write torture in a way that challenges the status quo on how we culturally view torture, and how all these false myths affect victims and perpetrators alike. you just have to fucking think about it.

torture for information doesn’t work – but your perpetrator might be convinced that it does. so instead of going the easy route and proving them right – explore how they're wrong. show torture failing. show your perpetrator’s desperation as they gain nothing. they conceptualize their actions as the lesser of two evils, but whoops, there is no second evil. hows that for a change?

is there such a thing as “torture lite?” does it make any real difference whether it leaves a physical mark behind or not? where do we draw the line between interrogation and torture? is that question not interesting enough for you?

is complying with demands under threat of torture the same as genuine obedience? maybe your victim is forced to pretend in certain ways, through feelings of absolute powerlessness. their survival is pitted against the guilt that comes from following the demands of their perpetrator/s. the sense that they’re betraying themselves, the hatred they feel against their aggressor for making them obey, which is otherwise completely uncharacteristic of them. they’re never reduced to a blank slate, there’s always an internal conflict. what if they reach a point where they have nothing left to lose? real torture makes people more defiant. human beings are amazing at adapting to impossible situations. how is that not a wicked fucking cool thing to explore?

brainwashing isn’t real, but your victim’s loved ones believe that it might be. this means that their attempts to talk about their complex feelings toward the more humane sides of their torturer, or recount moments of a strenuous mutual understanding, are met with vehement denial from the people who are supposed to facilitate their recovery. “don’t talk about him like that, he hurt you.” and a desperation to get people to understand that it’s just not that simple. they’re not just saying it because they’ve been brainwashed – people just aren’t black and white, torturers included. the way they feel compelled by the pressure of their loved ones to just… keep quiet about that aspect of their trauma.

here's a fun fact: not only is torture absolutely useless at everything it sets out to do, but rates of PTSD are equally high among victims and perpetrators. the latter is something called participation-induced post-traumatic stress, or perpetrator trauma. you see it in murderers, too. nobody talks about that. and i get it, it’s a touchy subject, we wouldn’t want to portray torture as something human beings do. but, and here’s my counter-argument: maybe reality is just messy and complicated. and maybe exploring that messy complicated reality in fiction can serve as something interesting and worthwhile. emotionally cathartic. no?

if you read up on torture in psychological studies, regarding the psychology of both victims and perpetrators – and possibly also read some sociological studies about how governments have used a lot of the myths i’ve mentioned about torture to excuse their own actions (allegedly) – you start to get an idea for just how comprehensibly it fucks with people, and how effective that propaganda machine has been. real life torture is not rare. torture will continue to not be rare as long as people believe in the idea that it is useful. so maybe it’s a good idea to approach the subject with a little bit of thought beforehand, you know? we could approach fictional depictions of torture with the same amount due diligence we take with the topic of rape or child abuse, instead of, you know, literally affirming all the myths that justify its use and then brushing off criticism like mine in that aggressively uncritical fiction-isnt-reality,-depiction-isn’t-endorsement,-zero-further-introspection way.

or whatever. maybe im just a big meanie, i must be fun at parties, etc

#inspired by 10k notes on my last rb proving there are sane ppl on this site. im starting this discourse again okay idc #im happily dying on the hill of 'maybe don't gargle the balls of US war propaganda in your whump fic' tbh #other #torture #media literacy #media criticism

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