#nonmono

[wonderlandgoblin]

This is a serious question for all my asexual and aromantic people:

Why don’t I see you guys talking about non monogamy?

I just started studying about it and it makes no sense to me that no one in our communities - who fight for the freedom of establishing forms of relationships where romantic love and sex don’t have to be the main focus -, seem to be talking about non monogamy, the confrontation of the monogamous system that establishes that our entire lives should revolve around one single sexual-romantic relationship and that all other forms of interaction are less meaningful and fulfilling.

It is obvious to me that we should all ally ourselves with each other because we will all be winning. So why?

Please someone explain!

#ace #asexual #aroace #aspec #aromantic #aro #arospec #non monogamy #nonmono

[beyond-mogai-pride-flags]

Promiscuous Pride Flag

Promiscuity or promiscuousness: having or characterized by many transient sexual relationships; demonstrating or implying an undiscriminating or unselective approach; indiscriminate or casual; adulterine or libertine; epicene.

It's considered the opposite of chastity, and may be reclaimed by polyerosous, or otherwise nonmonoerosous, individuals. Note that some use this in a moralist way through condemning glances.

#promiscuity #nonmono #non-mono #non-monoerosous #polyerosy #non-monoerosy #nonmonoerosy #pride flags #mogai #liom #mod ap #promiscuous #reclaimed term #mature terms #cw moralism #flag #epicene

[scribblelustslut]

quanto mais eu aprofundo sobre amar em liberdade menos as linhas românticas falam comigo. amor não é pra doer não sufoca não exige. amar vem de dentro da alma e oferece uma fonte inesgotável que sacia e transborda a ânsia por mais. quando cada um é dona de si mesma é tão simples ver que não se cobra por afeto. não se espera um retorno do outro de fora a algo que pertence a dentro. não entendo mais as dores românticas, de não ser a única. de não receber de volta. de não ser um mundo inteiro pra um. (que alívio!) sou um mundo inteiro pra mim. a cada dia me expando me exponho. aprofundo liberto um novo lado sedento por mais. sempre mais.

#amor livre #amor libre #poliamor #free verse #nonmono #mentesexpostas #arquivopoetico #pensamentos #poecitas #novospoetas #espalhepoesias

[imoga-pride]

can an autospec person who is in a relationship with themself and another person consider themself polyamorous ?

polyamory is a broad term. polyamorous people can be in any form of relationship, even monogamous/monofidelitous ones.

#autospec #auto-spec #autoamorous spectrum #autoamory #soloamory #soloamorous #lamb-of-queer #polyamory #polyamorous #ambiamory #ambiamorous #monofidelity #unifidelity #unifidelitous #self-partnered #partnering #partnership #relationship orientation #nm #nonmono #non-mono #non monogomous #nonmonogamy #non-monogamy #nonmonogamous #nonmonoamorous #non-monoamorous #non-monoamory #nonmonoamory #imoga

[intersexfairy]

alright im gonna give it a shot, but not steal the other person's question.

Intersex people only. Dyads please boost <3

[plain text: Intersex people only. Dyads please boost <3 ]

if you respond to this and aren't intersex, you're being intersexist.

#polyam/nonmono is an orientation To Me #and im nonmono so #ifairy #intersex #intersexuality #intersex pride #intersex community #gay #lesbian #mspec #bi #pan #multisexual #bisexual #pansexual #aspec #acespec #arospec #polyam #queerhet #queer #lgbtqia #lgbt+ #lgbtq+ #lgbtqia+ #sapphic #vincian #polls #poll

[themagicfolfsartgallery]

New hearts I made for various Identities that are often forgotten. Feel free to make requests and join my Emoji Server!

Gender's

Aspec

Below are the other Hearts for easy access

#Emoji #custom discord emoji #Aparomantic #Apasexual #xenogender #transgender #lgbtq #asexual spectrum #aspec #aro spec #aromantic #greyromantic #greysexual #demisexual #demiromantic #Void gender #voidgender #nonMonogender #NonMono-Gender #Hearts #Pride #Heart emojis #Discord server #discord emoji #discord emote #art #queer #lgbt #trans

[rivetgoth]

have definitely expressed this before but why is it that all it takes for some of the self proclaimed degenerate faggot horror punk freaks on this site to really care about the sanctity of marriage and traditional family values is seeing a polyamorous person online be slightly cringe. like a polyamorous person will be unattractive and make an overly emphatic post about the importance of asserting your boundaries in relationships and all the MCR fans who post about how they need their nonexistent boyfriend to worship them like Peter worshipped Jesus' side wound or whatever with "I'm the freak in your DNI" in bio gotta crawl out of the woodwork to say that this is the reason for society's collapse and start crying about how "back in the old days people used to actually love each other." Like come on now.

#its extra funny to me cuz they always equate nonmono with like discord and shit when like #ime club scenes are actually FULL of nonmonogamy like the amnt of nonmonogamous goth clubbers i know is off the charts #and all these ppl make their posts about like having kinky sex on ket in the gay club bathroom or w/e while not actually doing that like #dude. all the guys having sex in the club on drugs are nonmono. sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

[fatalism-and-villainy]

Thoughts on nonmonogamy and fandom -

I think part of the shape of my own inclination towards nonmonogamy is that - I see some monogamous people say that they just don't feel much attraction towards other people or inclination to be involved with other people while they're partnered up. And I honestly feel like the direct inverse of that - it's much easier for me to be attracted to people in general if I already have one point of interest established. Because it puts me back in that mindset, and gets me more in tune with that possibility. This is why I find the framework of monogamy restrictive - because so much of how I feel attraction is about expansiveness, something that goes beyond that specific person. Exclusivity in a relationship would feel like clipping my wings, putting a cap on the joy I feel.

(This has sort of created a frustrating "entry level job/3-5 years of experience needed" learning curve to be hurdled for the past 2+ years, honestly, because after several false starts I just haven't been able to muster that kind of crush-like investment in someone that would rekindle that possibility more broadly and generally. Which is fine, as I'm more content directing my social energies elsewhere for the time being, but it does feel hard to explain, since most people associate nonmonogamy with being very easily and frequently romantically interested in others.)

But anyway, I've come to realize how much this informs my approach to fandom. My impulse is very often to explore my multishipping scenarios for a member or members of the main couple after they're together. Because it just seems natural and intuitive to me that of course being settled and happy with one person would make a person want to explore other similar connections, and because romances are most meaningful to me when they awaken some sort of erotic potential within the self that extends beyond the bounds of that specific relationship, and grants new context and shape to other connections. And it can be... alienating, to get struck with the reminder that many other people equally intuitively conceive of endgame coupledom in the opposite manner, and take it for granted that partnering with someone is the end of the line and indicates being fulfilled in only that person.

#fandom natterings #nonmono talk #queue

[trainer-blue]

i like how all the cybertronians r gay. even when there r women cybertronians & it’s not just “cybs r gay bc there r no women” the women r gay for each other.

#also the m.tmte gals r gay AND t4t #something something the shared experience of experiencing other cultures and things outside of the contraints of your society #and discovering that you do not identify with the monosystem of mech gender #theyre trans AND nonbinary but instead of nb it’s nm. nonmono

[realqueerpositivity]

Shout out to aroace lesbians

Shout out to aroace gays/vincians

Shout out to aroace straight people

Shout out to aroace bi/pan/nonmono people

Shout out to aroace mspec gays/lesbians

Shout out to aroace straightbians

Shout-out to aroace people who experience romantic attraction or desire romance

Shout out to aroace people who experience sexual attraction or desire sexual experiences

You're not any less aroace for not fitting into the boxes. I love you💞

#lgbtqia #queer #aro #aromantic #lgbtq #lgbtqia+ #queer community #ace #asexual #aroace #lesbian #gay #bisexual #mspec #straight #straightbian #mspec lesbian #mspec gay #aroacespec

[sakurajjam]

Oi meninas! Tô passando pra pedir opiniões de vocês e dos players da tag num assunto que sempre fico cheia de dedos: usar fcs que, por algum motivo, destoam das minhas vivências. Por um lado, gosto de sair dos fcs padraozinho (brancos, cis, magros) e reconheço a importância de dar visibilidade pra rostos que são minorias. Por outro lado, eu tenho medo de que a minha falta de conhecimento (mesmo pesquisando, lendo a respeito e tal) deixe passar alguma coisa importante relacionada a algum grupo. Quando jogo em temáticas fantásticas me sinto mais livre, já que os universos são diferentes. Mas quando jogo slice of Life, eu considero que essas questões existiriam também e acabo num looping de fcs iguais e padrões. Existe essa preocupação por parte da comunidade, por parte das minorias que se veem (mal) representadas ou eu estou militando errado sozinha com as vozes da minha cabeça? É uma pergunta sincera mesmo, sem sarcasmo (conto com opiniões igualmente respeitosas dos nossos colegas, valeu)

Oi pompurin, desculpa a demora! Ohh um assunto interessante, muito interessante mesmo já que tenho esse mesmo medo, sempre quis fazer um personagem nb ou trans (nunca disse para ninguém assim, tão abertamente), mas tenho medo de fazer algo e soar desrespeitoso. Tenho esse medo com qualquer coisa, quando comecei a usar tailandeses, tinha medo de desrespeitar a cultura ao nomear errado, além de outras coisas... Esse medo é muito comum, sendo sincera, porque se foge da nossa vivência esse pensamento de "será que vai ofender" aparece. Não sei se as comunidades tem essa preocupação, sei que muitos não gostam de ver representações estereotipadas, ou seja, aquelas que acabam os resumindo a uma visão única; por exemplo, colocar que toda sáfica tem uma aparência de tomboy. Isso não é real, é apenas uma parcela da comunidade e tá tudo bem, cada um tem que ser como achar melhor e cabe aos demais aceitarem e não usar de generalização.

Falando da minha parte, quando vejo pessoas usando a não monogamia como uma desculpa para trair ou pegar geral, fico bem ofendida. Inclusive já falei sobre aqui no blog (a e b), porque você não precisa ser nonmono para passar o rodo, é uma visão muito errada, mas que tem muito "exemplo". Se as pessoas pesquisassem, iam notar que não é nada extraordinário, é apenas amor... Mas não, preferem sair fazendo tudo de forma podre. Quando eu comentei com u Mira (@neozgifs) e um amigo sobre esse meu receio em fazer um nb, eles me deram uma mini aula sobre e fez a chavinha da minha mente virar, tanto que estou montando um char nb nesse momento. Uma coisa que me pegou muito foi: identidade de gênero não tem regra e que não precisamos viver ou fazer chars em um modelo, em uma caixa.

Sinto que se você usar as vivências com respeito, sem estereótipos ou uma forma de sátira, tá tudo bem. A graça do RPG é sair da sua zona de conforto, logo, você tem que tentar em algum momento, mas é sempre bom pesquisar sobre o que quer abordar e ver como vai ser feito. Se você conhece pessoas que tem uma vivência parecida com a que quer abordar, conversar com elas pode ser bom; eu amo conversar com as pessoas sobre tudo e nem sempre é pra usar para chars, gosto de saber sobre diversos assuntos e, no final, acaba me ajudando a montar meus muses.

A discussão tá aberta e quem quiser, fique a vontade para comentar. Todas as opiniões são bem vindas, como sempre, basta ter respeito pelo outro.

#♡ · ✉️ : respondidas #( rinn a poderosa chefinha ) #( about : chars ) #( rinn & players )

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Say, since metamour has "amour" in it, I wonder if there's a platonic version of it or if its use has been expanded to include nonmono qpr?

I'm not aware of a platonic or qpr equivalent. If someone is aware of one though, please do share! If not, you are definitely allowed to coin something yourself.

All the best, Anon!

[scribblelustslut]

Já não és mais a mesma de antes. Já não escondes na água do chuveiro a dor de amores que não desabrocharam. Não tens mais a pequenez do pavor das concomitâncias. Aquela que faria segurar com força, como se essa alternativa fosse melhor. E esse sorriso preso que carregas no rosto, enquanto olhas pro outro lado, falha tão lindamente em esconder os teus segredos. É tão claro esse teu coração, que anda saltitante, mas tentando não gritar. Qualquer um consegue ver, se te olhar por dois segundos.

Já tens a sorte do amor tranquilo, com todos os sabores que ele tem. E esses saltitos, são por quem? Não te esconda não. É lindo te ver cair de amores de novo assim. Deixa transbordar. Ri de rosto inteiro, gargalha, abraça e envolve com teu corpo todo. Derrama esse amor que não cabe mais dentro de ti, por onde quer que os respingos caiam, porque nutre, beber de uma felicidade simples dessa. Te entrega. És fonte infinita de sonhos. Cresceste pra tão além de ti, e de qualquer espaço que já tentaste caber. Irradia. Ser intensa te cai tão bem.

- scribblelust slut

#mentesexpostas #arquivopoetico #liberdadeliteraria #espalhepoesias #amor livre #polyamory #amor libre #nonmono #poliamor #autorias #escritos #fountain pen

[bunniespractice]

Per a special agreement I will be sitting with my ancestors every night through the end of April. Last night was the first official day after ceremony. The first realization is that it's been a long time. What do I do? What do I say? It's in these moments I realize I still fear. Fear marks my life in so many directions. I'm trying to learn to let go. To give into divine timing and trust in not only my process but God's, The Universe's, and my ancestors. I opened this fear and left it at the altar. I wish I could say I felt better but the heaviness stung. But I know all feelings pass, good or bad. I also read from the journal Papa wrote from me and cried. He is an inspiration for what any human should be. He gave our family so much and I don't think most of us have ever appreciated it. I think my heart just hurts. There is a certain pain that comes with changing your life and doing what's best for you and it affecting someone you love. One of my partners is monogamous, and every small step throws me back into PTSD episodes I haven't had to deal with due to other partners or datemates being nonmono. She also has so much going on, that being who I am feels like another burden upon her life. I keep praying. I think I need to remember to pray for my own strength as well. I know things will get better. But they sting. And I'm left empty.

#journal #my ancestors

[whiskyblu]

Nevertheless, Ep 3: Woman Takes Brief Break from being an ethical non monogamist to enjoy a tv show

Sol continues to be the hottest one in the show, and she is so wasted on Ji wan, 

Ok so next episode, Jae-Eon picks up some girl at an airport. And NaBi is angsting bc she doesn’t hear from him all day. “Does he not like me or is he teasing me?”

So. Him just…you know…having shit to do. Isn’t an option?

Ok. noted. =.=

NaBi wanders off to get food, and runs into her boy working on his project. He doesn’t see her, he answers his phone, she follows him creepily and sees the other girl.. Cue angst. “She’s the one his heart belongs to.”

Because it can only be one. 

Now it’s JaeEon’s turn to see her leaving a convenience store and giving her number to another dude, another student. 

He’s sort of watching from a distance with the other girl. He neutrally mentions he knows them, and girl gets jealous. Turns out they had matching engraved zippos, but she lost hers.  Very much giving gf vibes. He talks about Na Bi and she’s all “you’re into her, it’s fate” and he's’ all “you’re my fate”

Convenience Store Guy acts more like she would expect from a dude pursuing her, and she seems comfortable, and considers him.

And he’s an absolute Cinnamon Roll, I love him. He brings her snacks and is just…nice.

Ope, now my boy’s being dumb. Walks in on Ol girl talking to Cinnamon Roll and gets jealous, and tries to like. Put lil man in his place, and gets put in his instead. She’s got a spine!

Sort of. She kind of…half ass calls him out on being a jealous dick. He doesn’t really admit to it.

Like,  she hasn’t heard from him for a couple days, and now he jumps in being possessive and trying to draw attention to him. That’s douchey and fucked up.

So she goes on a date with cinnamon roll and it’s adorable. Very sweet, direct, little chatterbox of a man

And now I’m mad again.

Nabi goes to a school festival to see Cinnamon Roll, and there’s another girl there. Apparently his HS Crush who rejected him reached out. So NaBi gets awkwardly rejected, Jae Eon sees the whole thing. Home girl goes home, and she’s laying in bed, appears to be coming down with a cold…and FuckBoy Jae Eon totally calls her like “hey can I come over?”  No apology, no acknowledgement he acted like a possessive asshole, just “i’m by your house, wanna hang out?”

I apparently completely missed this bit before. Ope.  This is also where he finds out she had deleted his number from her phone. This is important later.

 Her phone dies, so she goes to the convenience store to get medicine, when she gets home, there’s an ambulance at her house.

FuckBoy called a got damn ambulance cus he thought she’d passed out or something. Remember what I said before about losing their tiny minds over a papercut? Yeah.

In a cute way now tho.

So she sends him packing..and this mf comes back with a care package of meds and snacks for her, and I have feelings about this.

I’m super annoyed they didn’t address him being a possessive douche. Like, it’s one thing to make his interest known, and to be nonmono, but it’s absolutely not ok to act like dog at a fire hydrant when she’s around other dudes. 

So. Perfect was def too strong of a word.

…so she’s like “i don’t like this bag of stuff take it back” and he’s all like “i’m hungry” and she tells him to eat the food while hanging out together.

And this turns into him spending the night holding her hand, hunched over next to the bed, like a hospital scene, so he can earn her trust back.

He addresses his jealousy-doesn’t outright say he was a douche, but does admit to being jealous. She assumes that he liked seeing her get rejected. Which is reasonable, I think, because of how he called her basically immediately after, acting like they’d never argued. 

But that’s not what happened. He admitted to being jealous, and that it bothered him to find out that she’d deleted him from the phone. 

And this is why the fuckboy allegations are so confusing to me. Because he’s not treating her like a hook up, or a casual relationship. He’s treating her like a partner. Literally the only thing that is different between how he pursues her, and how any other dude would, is that there’s no assumption of monogamy. I would argue that the way he goes about it is questionable, but that’s mostly because the culture of enm in the US is of transparency and enthusiastic consent.

…and he is very much working to sell her on nonmonogamy. Thaaats why it makes my brain itch.

Jae Eon is solo nonmonogamous. He has partners, but non exclusively, he does not have a nesting partner, nor seem to want one, and he isn’t invested in the relationship escalator. He also does not have the language or a supportive enm community around him. So, he performs enm, and persuades people thru open practice, rather than naming it.

So, in episode two, there was an interaction that I ignored, because I found it uninteresting and maybe a little fatphobic. When they were all hanging out at the bar, there was a dude-one of the only fat people i’ve ever seen in a kdrama- who was doing the “ambiguously creepy” guy thing. If he was an american, he’d prob be wearing a fedora. Like he specifically asks NaBi to sit next to him, and when she does he gets all fixated on the fact that she’s single now, and asks her why she hasn’t taken her jacket off and…a few other just. Weird fucking things. At one point, NaBi, Jae Eon and Bit Na are outside having a smoke, and Fedora Dude comes out is being really obnoxious and pushy about finding out what Nabi and jae eon’s relationship is, and Jae Eon tells him “nah, we’re just friends.” Nabi walks away and Fauxdora starts the “she’s not pretty enough to be this stuck up” and Jae Eon puts him in his place and everyone gets on with their life.  

NaBi was bothered by Jae Eon not “claiming her” ig. For me tho, the way to handle Fedora Dudes is to straight tell them to get to fuck, it’s none of their business. And that seems like what Jae Eon did. In my mind, he was showing her the same respect he would any of his other friends/partners, in not “staking a claim” so to speak, and also shutting down the ass hat. 

So when he engaged in jealous twattery around Cinnamon Roll, it was extra surprising. Ofc, the reason is that Cinnamon Rolls was a threat, and Fedoradouche was not. Jae eon was shielding her from Fedoradouche, and competing with Cinnamon Roll. Valid. 

So on the one hand, the narrative is showing that NaBi is “special” (gags) by him being possessive of her in ways he isn’t possessive of others. He’s also…gently aggressive with her, after she finally consents to kissing him. He just…keeps pursuing. It’s a behavior that irritates tf out of me, ignoring soft nos, and pushing for a hard no. Then when he gets a hard no, in the form of her deleting his number, and sending him packing after the ambulance leaves, he still keeps pursuing her. 

So he essentially tells her that he’s going to keep being nice to her until he earns her trust and gives him a chance. Which…irl would stalkery and annoying af. But because we’re inside her head, and we know she’s completely obsessed with him, and also because of my own biases against monogamy, and my general annoyance that enm is not even discussed as an option, it gets a pass, both narratively, and in my head. 

And then they bang, because that’s exactly what they both need when she has a cold. Fuckin tv, man

#nevertheless #nevertheless Ep 3 #recap #rewatch #spoiler review #ethical non monogamy #polyamory #polyamorous reperesentation #nonmonogamy in television #kdrama #song kang #han so hee

[leeharrington]

When it comes to how we express love for one another, sticking strictly to the concepts laid out by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” can be limiting and excluding to many communities. We're looking to reach beyond these restraints and open up and reframe how we view "Love Languages" Join me on 10/11 for "Love Languages for Alternative Sexuality Communities," during which we will look at adapting the love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, physical touch) to various relationship structures (whether friends, play partners/lovers, partners, life mates, or D/s dynamics). With touch, for example, someone might want a hug… or a spanking! A gift could be roses… or a collar. Let’s share from our hearts, our experiences, and look at some other tools for communicating care, affection, connection, appreciation, and love alike. This class will run online worldwide from 7-9p MST (6-8p EST, 8-10p EST). Register today: https://fetlife.com/events/1348367 [Description: Words and graphics against a pale yellow background. The top reads in brown text "These are 5 love languages" In the center the text reads in brown text "words, time, gifts, acts, touch" with corresponding graphics in pink, green, blue, yellow, and mauve. The bottom reads in brown text "But there are more ways to show affection and care specific to kink, d/s, and polyamory. Join us online 10/11 at 7-9p MST https://fetlife.com/events/1348367 ] #LoveLanguages #kinkeducation #Kink #Kinky #KinkCommunity #Nonmonogamy #Polyamory #nonmono #polyam #exploringsexuality