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flightfoot · 2 months

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Marinette Completed Angst Fic Reclist

I know some people really like this genre, so I figured I'd make a list for it! These will obviously all be completed, and none of them will be bashing fics, and PLEASE don't rec any fics on this post that are bashing fics, I don't want to see them.

Some of these will have my own commentary about the fic attached to it, for if I've put them on a previous reclist where I had that commentary written out. But a lot of the older fics won't.

For a fic to count for this, the angst Marinette goes through can't just be her being upset about what someone else is going through, though the angst of the fic doesn't only need to be hers, so long as she has her own angst which is a decently prominent part of the fic.

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one does not love breathing by @wackus-bonkus-maximus

All of Paris watched as Hawkmoth murdered Chat Noir, taking the Black Cat Miraculous for himself. Ladybug swears revenge, but her enemy—and every miraculous in his possession—disappear without a trace.

Six years later, a new team of villains launches an attack for the last remaining Miraculous: Volpina, armed with new powers; Queen Bee, with questionable loyalty; Argos, the new holder of the Peacock Miraculous; and Cat Walker, who Ladybug hates the most.

Takes place after S4 - Strike Back.

This is a simply phenomenal fic. You get to explore a lot of different perspectives, like Felix, Kagami, Marinette, and Adrien’s, just to name a few, and see their different thought processes and plans and priorities, and how it can cause their plans to collide with each other, even when they all ultimately are aiming for a good outcome for everyone. The characters are pretty complex and can mess up at times, even when they’re doing things (or not doing things, looking at you Luka) with the best of intentions. It was a joy to read and a real nail-biter the whole time, I actually wrote a fic for it halfway through just to resolve some of the tension for myself, One Does Not Love Shadows.

It also features the version of Luka I’ve connected best with to date, as he feels like Luka, but also is a lot more fleshed out, and can make some major errors while simply trying to avoid missteps. It’s helped me get a better handle on a character who I’ve generally had a lot of problems with really understanding.

It is an M-rated fic, though I think Wackus is being overly cautious on that front. There’s no sexual content and I wouldn’t put the violence or gore above a T-rating, so I wouldn’t let the rating scare you off.

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you don’t even know me at all (but I was made for loving you) by @ladyofthenoodle

They didn’t remember each other. The hospital told them there’d been an accident—brain damage—but Alya had told them the truth, later. Who’d they’d been to each other. What they’d given up, and why. But even with their memories of each other gone, Adrien and Marinette are still inextricably tied together—by law, by their social circles, and by their hearts. And in the apartment they share, there’s only one bed.

Yep, it’s the “there was only one bed” trope XD! I especially love how it was used here, how Adrien and Marinette are strangers now but they had a whole life together, and they pine for each other even without remembering, and how Marinette just can’t believe how in love with her Adrien is even though he doesn’t remember her. I loved the emotional turmoil the two of them went through together in the fic, and the resolution, it’s great!

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fine line by @bbutterflies

“Catwalker?” Loveybug asks. “Hmm?” “Do you remember… what happened before us?” “What do you mean?” “Before we were heroes. Was there someone else?” Catwalker goes quiet for a moment. “I don’t know,” he finally says.

This is a surprisingly angsty take on the Loveybug AU. Here, since the Loveybug and Cat Walker transformations are so unnatural, they’re having negative side effects on Marinette and Adrien, causing them to be constantly exhausted and even to get amnesia the longer they continue using them.

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do you think I have forgotten about you? by @roseinaugust

Based on the song ‘About You’ by The 1975. Memory Loss. Told in alternating time lines, one leading up to and one dealing with the aftermath of Marinette relinquishing the Miracle Box and the guardianship. Marinette struggles with her life after losing her memory, though there is a persistent voice that calls to her that always seems just out of reach in her memory.

Beautiful memory loss fic here, with seeing Ladybug’s and Chat Noir’s relationship before she gave up the Miracle box, juxtaposed with the present day, when Adrien is only a stranger to her. I could really feel how Marinette was struggling with navigating these new circumstances, with her friends seeming to expect her to remember, to be who she was to them, to Adrien especially, before, and her just… not knowing whether she can do that. It’s got a happy ending though, for those who are concerned about that.

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Our Tales Are Endless (That’s Why I Tell Them) by @joonapeach

Marinette lives a simple life - one surrounded by pretty dresses, fresh macaroons, and the calming view of Paris. It’s a life she thinks she has always fit in. And yet sometimes, when a certain boy comes by her shop with a flower and a new adventurous story, she can’t help but wonder if there’s something else she’s missing.

This was a truly gorgeous story. It’s the classic “Marinette gives up the Miracle Box and loses her memories” storyline, exploring her life two years later. Even though she’s had time to heal and recover, she still feels like she’s missing something, something big. At least Adrien’s stopping by regularly to tell her stories about Ladybug and Chat Noir, even if she doesn’t understand why they resonate with her so well.

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I (Wish I) Knew You by @buggachat

University has been hard on Marinette. Making new friends and maintaining her grades is a lot easier said than done when she has to disappear at odd times to fight akumas. She's struggling, and with Alya away with family and Adrien painfully out of reach, she's never felt lonelier.

If only she could talk to someone who really understood her struggles... but it's not like Chat Noir would know anything about loneliness. Right?

Nice aged-up Ladynoir fic here! Marinette’s struggling with losing friends and lovers because of her flakiness due to her superhero activities, until at last she breaks down. Thankfully, Chat Noir’s there at least - and it soon turns out he’s got problems of his own that he’s been hiding.

There’s some fluff and angst, it’s mostly just the two of them navigating life, dealing with their feelings and talking things out.

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If I Let Myself Love You by @uptoolateart

It’s hard to be a normal girl with a normal life when your mother has terminal cancer. And when fashion model Adrien Agreste moves back to Paris and wants to be Marinette’s friend – or maybe even more – her life is turned upside down again.

How can she risk opening her heart to love when her whole world is falling apart? Especially when Adrien is hiding a dark secret of his own….

- COMPLETE FIC – updates on Sundays

*** No kwamis AU - 100% Adrinette. About half of it is fluffy and half heavy. Please read tags for trigger warnings. ***

This fic can be rough, definitely pay attention to the tags. There’s no villains in this story, it mostly centers around themes of dealing with illness - both being sick and having a loved one who’s terminally ill - and death, grieving someone who’s lost, and how difficult that can be. It can get pretty gut-wrenching at times, especially as you slowly discover more layers of what’s really going on, what both Adrien and Marinette are hiding, both from others and from themselves in order to help cope with their circumstances. But they still move forwards together, regardless.

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Between the Heavens and the Embers by @readersmoon

Everyone in Paris remembers the fateful night of January 16, when the city was attacked by the most powerful and destructive akuma ever created. The assault, which lasted for hours, resulted in the death of 439 people.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was among the casualties.

Years later, Adrien hasn't been able to move on, haunted by the memories of her broken body. So, when the opportunity to leave Paris for a while presents itself, he doesn't hesitate. But this trip might end up giving him more than he ever dreamt of.

This is a fantastic fic, though a serious and a dark one - make sure to mind the tags, and it’s M-rated for a reason. Vee - or rather, Marinette - is going through a horror story here. Imagine finding out that your life is a lie, that everyone you thought you could trust was manipulating you, that you were just being continually gaslit for years.

As for Adrien, Alya, and Nino... well, none of them took Marinette’s “death” all that well, especially Adrien. Finding out that she’s been alive all this time, in these horrible circumstances, and they had no clue... it’s hard on them as well.

I love how this fic goes into how much trauma everyone has even after the immediate danger’s dealt with, you don’t just walk off this kind of experience, especially with how many years this lasted.

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in case you don’t know me tomorrow by @thelibraryloser:

“We live in a crazy world where pieces of our lives can be erased like they never even happened. I just wanted to memorize this moment so… so I could keep it, if that makes sense.”

Adrien’s heart gave a little flutter. She wanted to keep this moment, meeting him. She wanted to keep… him.

“I understand exactly what you mean.“

In a world that has created a way to selectively delete memories, no moment is truly safe. So how do you hold on to something when the memory of it is gone? And how do you keep fighting for someone when you’re the only one who remembers?

This is a SEVERELY underrated fic. It’s got some shades of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” in the world, though the plot is very different - the memory erasure ain’t willing.

Basically, the first few chapters are establishing Adrien’s and Marinette’s romance, and then the rest of the fic is dealing with Gabriel being an absolute DICK and using any means at his disposal to break them apart. It’s fantastic and I highly recommend reading it!

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hella enchanted by @xiueryn:

Years ago, Marinette’s father died and she was left with her awful stepmother. With magic forcing her to obey every command, she lived as a servant and gave up hope. When a man appears, searching for the very fairy that blessed her, Marinette decides to give life one more try. AU.

(a different ella enchanted au.)

Even though it’s a one-shot this one is pretty long, clocking in at over 30k words. Absolutely worth a shot, though. The first third is basically Marinette dealing with being pushed around because of her “blessing”, and the other two-thirds is just some adorable fluff of her and Adrien touring the country together.

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Echoes of You by kittinoir

In the day time, she's Marinette - a normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with... Not Season 4 Compliant; please, no spoilers

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balancing act by fictionalinfinity

“Besides, being Ladybug always came first. It came before school, friends, and sometimes even family. Now it had to come before her health. Marinette had a duty to Paris. She wouldn’t let them down.” Or, being both Ladybug and the Guardian starts to take its toll on Marinette. - the epilepsy au literally no one asked for

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Some Days by @merrygreenie

Some days are worse, and others are a little better, little by little and day by day. Marinette Dupain-Chen is learning how to live her new normal after living in confinement and being tortured by Hawkmoth. She is thankful to have her friends and family to support her. And a very special Chat who loves her very much. *This story contains scenes of violence and torture this is a whump fic*

This fic has some great angst, but be warned, it's not kidding about the violence and torture. Honestly, it should probably be rated M instead of Teen, given that while the fic mostly takes place after Marinette escapes and while she's recovering, we do get a detailed flashback to her torture.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic rec #marinette dupain cheng #angst

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alexiswritingstuff · 9 months

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Just wanted to let you know that I've been binge reading all of your writings and I love them so much, keep up the good work! :)

I know you might have a lot of Gus requests, so it's okay if you put this one on the back burner for a bit. But I read the "Not So Scary After All" work and I was wondering if you could write a sort of sequel to it?

Maybe Jesse keeps trying to tell GN reader how obvious it is that he likes them. How he's seen him try not to smile when talking to reader, the softer tone of voice, things like that.

Reader obviously doesn't believe him and thinks that Gus is just being nice to his employees, especially the ones that are responsible for the cooks.

Anyways, after a few days of Jesse pestering the reader about it something happens to make them realize he might be right. I was thinking maybe they would make another mistake with the cook and Walter is there to see it. Maybe he gets mad, a little TOO mad, and Gus walks in 🤭 Or anything else works too! I just love the premise of a protective Gus that doesn't like to show how protective he actually is

First of all, thank you for the comment about my writings, I'm glad you have enjoyed them so far! Initially I didn't think about writing a part two, so I hope this does it justice, as well as that I hope it was what you were looking for!

Thank you for sending this in!

Not so scary after all. 2/2

Pairing: Gustavo x gender neutral reader.

Other appearances: Jesse Pinkman, Walter White.

Warnings: arguing, walter being a douche.

also be aware of spelling mistakes, or other errors. I do read these over but I can tend to miss stuff either way!

A/N: my brain has been fixated on other characters recently, so if these guys seem ooc then that may be why. It's hard to write scenes where gustavo is interested in another person because we barely get to see that in either show, so I also hope my portrayal of him just generally feels correct.

I hope you enjoy!

more Gustavo fics.

Taglist- @sukunamybeloved - @viviennemuerte - @miwagila - @marksassybanana

previous part.

It never mattered how many times you had gone through the same routine. Surprisingly, considering your line of work, waking up in the morning was always the most jarring part.

You could’ve had a great nights sleep, not woken up at any point, had no distractions or noisy neighbours. Yet the second you were in that car to get to the laundromat, it was like you had to force your eyes to stay open.

Which was apparently the same for Jesse too as there was a series of mumbles and grumbles that would fill the car every few seconds.

Each time you spared a glance to the passenger seat he would be leant further and further into window, his head bobbing whenever there was a difference in ground level or direction of the wheels.

It had you amused, but also a little concerned, “Did you wake up too early, or too late?”

Seeking no comfort from the hardness of the glass, and after his temple ended up smacking right into it, Jesse got himself to sit upright in a speed that closely resembled one of those stairlifts.

He groaned, having to make consistent attempts to keep his body from just slumping all together, “Both?” His hands raised to his head, the sides of his fingers beginning to rub at his eyes as if it would rid them of their tiredness.

In all honesty, outside of the cooking sessions and other shenanigans you found yourself in, you and Jesse never really... hung out. There would be times where you had lunch together, or had to show up to his house if there was something to drop off.

But that was mostly it.

And there wasn’t exactly a reason as to why. You had absolutely nothing against Pinkman, it was like the opposite. The more you spent time with him, the more you felt like some kind of guardian watching over some kid. Even if he also was an adult.

“You had breakfast, though, right?” Your gaze was trained on the lane ahead despite your ongoing conversation.

You had just turned onto a state road, meaning that, regardless of it being early in the morning, people were up and about. Trying to get to their jobs.

It always made it seem busier than it was.

At first, in response to your question, Jesse simply emitted another mumble of something. He was thinking, the intensity in which he rubbed at his eyes increasing for a moment, and then his hands dropped. “Oh,”

“Shit, I don’t... I don’t know.”

You supressed the urge to sigh. It had already happened a few times. Depending on what he did the night before, there would be some mornings where his mind was rattled enough that he would almost forget where he even was, so.

You came prepared.

“Well, I guess luck is on your side today.” you commented, flexing your fingers against the grips of the steering wheel, “There should be a sandwich or something in the back.”

By now Jesse’s head was leaning into the headrest, definitely having the same problem of trying to keep his eyes open like you did. The heat outside probably wasn’t a helpful factor either. “Seriously?”

You didn’t want to take your attention off of the road. The cars in front were starting to slow, and you needed to keep note of the distance from the ones at the back. “Check.” you told him, adjusting the rear view mirror for better visibility.

Jesse sort of rolled his head to the side after a moment, his chin almost knocking into the bone of his shoulder as his gaze cast onto the few items that were in the back seats.

He lazily blinked for a good few seconds, his eyes trying to adjust to the redirection of a sunlight beam. And then he saw it. Right in the middle.

A brown bag.

“No way.”

The next move he made was so fast that the seatbelt strapped around him had immediately stalled against his body, attempting to keep him in place at the assumption of sudden danger.

But that wasn’t enough to stop him at all.

He pushed against it once, then twice, and then one more time before simply manoeuvring himself around the belt so that the top half would basically be protecting the car seat instead of him.

When Jesse leaned himself between your seat and his, it was so much harder to keep your attention on the road. He was reaching out, arm extended as far as it could go and waving almost madly, until eventually, he grabbed the bag.

Jesse practically had to shove himself backwards to sit upright again, but soon he was able to resume his previous position with a big sigh of relief. Your head could only shake.

Now, there was this sound a rustling paper that filled the entire car as you moved onto the accompanying lane. Something that was definitely not supporting your concentration. “Damn.”

His voice was muffled, the noises coming out of his mouth barely even sounding like a word which in turn made you send him a look.

He had finally gotten to the sandwich. “You make this?”

“Nah, I had too many errands to run.” you informed with a slight sigh, finally beginning to let yourself relax in your seat, “Would’ve done it if I had the time, but I think that is better anyway.”

Jesse didn’t even have to speak for you to know his response. He had taken another bite, nodding his head just slightly in proper approval. If his eyes were closed it would look like he was in pure bliss.

After relentlessly chewing for a hot minute, he attempted to swallow it down, “I didn’t-- I didn’t take you as an early riser.” Yet his voice was still almost unintelligible.

“Well, believe it or not, other people are in fact active in the mornings.” you pointed out, slightly leaning to the side for further emphasis on who the comment was aimed at in a way that had Jesse rolling his eyes.

You swear you saw a clump of crumbs fly from his mouth when he next spoke, “Yeah, yeah-- You sure your too many errands wasn’t just you making sure that you looked good for a certain Fring?”

Your head snapped in his direction in a way that had looking back to the road immediately after, and probably almost gave you whiplash. But you saw it either way.

That damn grin had taken over his lips.

Again.

“Please don’t do this right now.”

Jesse had to clear his throat to stop himself from almost choking, “Aw come on, man, it’s-- There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you did.” Your head shook like it had done before, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

It was always so stupid to you how the indirect mention of someone made your body react the way it did. You were only trying to get to work, yet your heart was acting as if you had just gone for a run.

“But I do.” The look you sent Jesse almost had him wanting to put his hands up if he wasn’t so focused on his sandwich, “What? I do-- Look, I may not have that much experience, or whatever, but there is totally something going on.”

“Definitely on his end at least.” He moved the sandwich around in his hands, trying to locate the best part to bite as he had finally swallowed the last one, “I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve seen him give you the look.”

Your eyebrows furrowed within seconds, “The... The what now?” You tried to turn in his direction for confirmation, but he seemed a bit too busy to notice your movement.

Due to a junction being up ahead, your foot had moved onto the foot break, watching the lights fully change the closer you drew.

“The look.” Jesse finally repeated, his mouth full all over again in a way that needed real concentration to understand the words coming out of it, “Yeah, he gives you the look, like, all the time.”

Soon, the car in front of you had fully stopped, and then so did yours as you put it into first gear, keeping your feet on the first two pedals.

The moment the car had stopped moving, you turned to Jesse within seconds, eyebrows furrowed more than they had ever been. “What is the look?”

Pinkman gave you a simple glance at first, thinking that you were just messing around as he kept munching away... But no matter how much time went by, you didn't move. Still watching him.

His chewing slowed when his head turned back in your direction. He just blinked for a moment. “You don’t know... You don’t know what the look is?”

Your chin lowered, your eyelids slightly doing the same, “Does it sound like I know what it is?”

“Okay, but... how?” Despite Jesse’s previous complete interest in his sandwich, it lowered with his hands to his lap. There was utter confusion written all over his face while he remained smacking away. “How do you not-- How old are you?”

Your attention went to the road ahead all over again, the back of your head sinking into the headrest as a huff left your lips, “Older than you.” you pointed out, trying to sound more authoritative, but that just seemed to spark an already lit flame.

“Then how do you not see it, huh? I mean, even I can tell that it’s pretty obvious-- And not just because of the look either,” Jesse fully twisted in his seat so that he faced you, “He like... He wants to actually, like, talk to you, and shit-- I’ve seen him smile-- genuinely smile at you, okay?"

“Now, if he was doing it to me? I would... Man, I would be terrified-- But it’s you, it’s... different.” You were trying so hard not to shake your head again, but Jesse’s voice practically being right in your right ear was making it a lot more difficult. “It’s something else--”

“It’s not...” You regripped the steering wheel, “You do realise we’re talking Gustavo Fring, right?” Your head attempted to turn back to Jesse, though your eyes were trying to keep the attention on the road as one of the final vehicles seemed to cross through the junction.

“Exactly!” Jesse practically threw his arms up, almost losing his grasp on the sandwich in the process, “You should be caring about this more than you do.”

Your head shook as your gaze fully went back to the road, your foot readying to release the clutch while your fingers tapped against the steering wheel in anticipation.

You were trying to find something to zone in on, something to distract yourself from the kid sitting in your passenger seat as he was still eagerly trying to get you to see the things the way he did. But you weren’t giving it to him.

“Fine then.” Jesse reached behind him, grabbing the top half of the seatbelt, pulling it until it was in front of him again, before he ducked himself beneath.

“But I’m telling you, Y/n.” It was back, slinging diagonally across his torso by the time he was seated properly, and also by the time the lights had finally turned green.

“You’ll see.”

There was something about this day that was starting to feel a little familiar.

You and Jesse had arrived ages ago. You had gone down the windy red stairs, did the whole thing of taking off unnecessary clothing so that you wouldn’t completely boil in the obnoxiously yellow protective suit you would put on next.

And at first, once you were all geared up, the two of you stood in front of the machines. Your heads were raised, eyes cast up to the walkway above as you awaited the arrival of your usual partner at their usual time...

But the door never opened.

There was no proper estimate for how long the two of you just stayed waiting as you had set your watch to the side, and the clock was on the other side of the room, however, there was one thing you knew for sure. Someone was late.

Eventually, the two of you were trying to compensate, finding something useful to do while giving the benefit of the doubt that maybe it was just tough traffic or something going on that made them lose track of time.

Though, the ability to sympathise got smaller and smaller the more minutes began to turn into full on hours.

You found yourself at your usual table with your hand supporting the weight of your head, attempting to occupy your mind by looking over the paperwork from passed cooks. A habit that you only recently developed.

“Dude,” you heard somewhere to your side before there was an exasperated sigh, and a quick creaking of a chair, “What the hell is taking him so long?”

Earlier, Jesse had taken one of the other wheeled chairs from the table connected to yours and had rolled somewhere, enough so that you could only see him from the corner of your eye.

His body was slumped back, the seat beneath him creaking with every move that he made. And considering that he didn’t have anything to do, that was like every. Single. Second.

He had tried out the difference created when he would shift his weight, tested what it would feel like to have his legs hanging over the left side of the chair and then the right, he had pushed his feet onto the floor to roll himself backwards and forwards against the smooth tiles.

And now, as apparently none of that had seemed to have settle his mind, Jesse had resorted to zipping and unzipping the protective suit he was so ready to take off by now. Over, and over... And over again. “Okay,”

“That’s it.”

The pencil held in your gasp was cast to the side of the notepad, you were barely looking at this point, before your hands moved to the edge of the table so that you could push against it enough that your chair started to roll.

You stood up, winding round the seat that was still on the move as you began to walk towards one of the pathways between the machines. Jesse fully planted his feet on the ground, “Yo, Y/n, where are you going?”

Your fingers grasped onto the zip of your suit and you yanked it down as far as you could without having to bend for the rest, beginning to pulling your arms out one after the other moments after.

You moved round that damn settling tank and soon ended up at the wall where you would keep or hang up your loose items. “I...” you began, your voice becoming strained as you bent down to free your feet of those big welly boots, “am going to find out what the hell is going on.”

The squeak of a chair echoed somewhere to the back of the room. “Well, don’t-- Don’t leave me in here by myself.”

Finally, after one last tussle, your, once worn, protective suit was now sprawled on the ground beside the clothing rack. You moved to your usual shoes, putting either feet in their respective ware before tying the laces to make sure they wouldn’t fall off.

Before Jesse could even appear by your side to complete the same process, you were on the move once again, directing towards those windy red stairs that always made you feel like you were going to fall up and/or down them.

“Y/n, wait, dude, wait-- Just give me a minute.” You could hear the hurried rustling of plastic suit echoing through the steps you took on the metal staircase.

Eventually, when your movements had allowed you to arrive at the cat walk, you found yourself complying to Jesse’s words... While the man himself was still trying, and failing, to get the suit off.

It gave you a moment to catch a breath you hadn’t been able to take all day. You were stood high, looking down at the problems below, and not drowning neck deep in it like you usually did.

A deep breath sucked into your nostrils as you let your eyes fall closed, the air of the lab starting to cool the warmth that had festered across your skin--

A sharp whistle squealed through from your left before it bounced around each wall one after the other.

Your eyes had snapped open as soon as the sound appeared, but it wasn’t until your head had started to turn that your brain realised what it had come from.

It was the door.

Your body twisted in the direction of the man who was almost stumbling across the cat walk, a series of huffs and puffs spluttering from his mouth that would have you worrying any other day.

But as of now, all you did was cross your arms over your chest.

“Yo, Mr. White! What the hell took you so long, dude?”

“Sorry, sorry,” he began through a slight wheeze that ended with him doing this horrendous cough. And once he was about three steps in front of you, he stilled his apparently over exhausted body, using a hand to shift his weight onto the railing, “There was... car trouble, and stuff with the kids, you-- you know kids.”

“You would think, maybe, after the first one that it was going to get easier and then...”

In the midst of Mr. White stabilising himself, his head had turned to the right in at attempt to locate Jesse, which wasn’t hard to do considering the fact that he was still taking off that damn suit, to further emphasis his... guilt?

But instead, after he did a sort of double take, he began to slowly face you once again, “Why aren’t any of the machines on, why... Why aren’t you wearing your suit?”

“We were waiting for you. I was just about to try and find at least someone to tell us where you were.”

“Wait... Wait a minute,” Mr. White started, holding his hands up while he took a step closer. “You didn’t start?” His chin slightly lowered in a way that made his eyes peer at you over his glasses.

“No?” you stated simply, your eyebrows furrowing at the sudden change to his demeanour, “After last time... We didn’t think you wanted us to do it by ourselves.”

“But that was-- That was last time, Y/n.” With every word that the man spoke, his hands rose higher and higher until they were inches away from touching his face, “Do you have any idea what time it is right now?”

The urge to scoff was stronger than ever, and you had to hold it back more than you ever had in your life, “I think I should be asking you that question.”

The man before you began shaking his head in a way that was almost not visible. “I told you... I was having problems with my car.” For a moment his expression remained the way it was, a visible attempt at holding back what you were guessing was anger.

But then it failed.

“I have... a family to take care of...” His hands dropped to his sides. When he next spoke the corners of his mouth slightly downturned like there was utter distaste for the words coming out of his mouth, “They are not going to be put at expense because, again, you weren’t able to do a simple job.”

Regardless of how loud it usually was when someone walked up the windy stairs, right now, as Jesse began to do just that, it was barely audible to your ears. The sound fading more and more the longer you stared at the man before you. “Guys, can we just--”

“I am doing my job just fine, Mr. White.” you started up with this lack of emotion to your voice, trying to make it as clear as possible that you wanted to get this over and done with, “We just didn’t want to do another batch all by ourselves, simply, because you couldn’t be bothered to show up.” Though it seemed your mouth had other plans.

There was something that almost satisfactory when you saw a side of his face twitch. But soon, it was one that ended with this sort of smile curling at his lips, his eyebrows raising more than you had ever seen in your time working with him. “Oh.”

“So, you want me to apologise for making a singular mistake? Is that it?” He took yet another step towards you, “You know what, how about we count how many times you have made-- No, caused, a mistake, hmm?”

You couldn’t count the amount of voices that were telling you to take a step back, to move away the closer he got to stand directly in front of you, “But that wasn’t only my fault-- There’s a big difference between actually trying and just not showing up.”

Your feet remained planted on the ground beneath. Your arms were held tighter than ever across your torso as you tried to maintain the blankest expression possible.

“Dude, both of you just... just chill out, please.” Jesse tried to insist as he walked up the last few steps, but no one paid any attention to his words, “We can-- We can work this out--”

“You allowed a contamination,” Mr. White began, narrowing his eyes as if in disbelief, “How did you-- Did they not teach you to read, or listen, to instructions in school?”

“My education has nothing to do with this.” you insisted without missing a beat. And regardless of your attempts to keep your composure, it was inevitable that something began slipping into your voice.

You had been up early.

You had been running back and forth to make sure that certain things were sorted for certain people, had to drive all the way to downtown to pick up Jesse and then all the way back up to get here. To work.

And then, while at work, you weren’t even able do your damn job because your other partner, that was supposed to be there at a specific time by contract, just didn’t show up.

Which then lead you and Jesse to have to stand and do absolute jack shit for hours on end.

Walter just shook his head again, even raising his hands like he was about to shove you or something, though he might have wanted to simply point a finger, “Well, apparently it does, because if you still aren’t competent enough to follow something so basic, then--”

“What is going on here?”

Within the next second, the man in front of you had twisted round in a way that almost gave you whiplash just from watching. He stepped to the side, and moved backwards until he was practically next to you. “Oh, Gus, I, uh... We were just... Slow start.”

But, of course, he was still a little ahead.

Your feet, however, hadn’t moved an inch. In fact the only move you made was to let your arms finally fall free to your sides as you stared onwards.

It was Gustavo. He was stood in the doorframe, one hand pressing against the weighted metal so that he had enough time to take in his surroundings. And then he took the final step inside.

It was only when the door closed behind him that you realised you hadn’t even heard it open in the first place.

The lab was back to what it had been minutes ago. Silent. No sound at all filtering throughout the entire room.

Gustavo stilled himself not far from the door he had walked through, but enough so that you could feel his presence as well as see it. His arms were unmoving by his sides, a trait that would’ve carried out through his entire body if he hadn’t started moving his head.

Like Walter had done when he arrived, Gustavo looked at the room below. He studied it, looked from one section to the other while noting the quietness that was effecting even him.

And then he turned back to the people across from him, the expression on his face unwavering, “Why is that? There’s nothing in the machines.”

“You know, ex-- exactly.” the man to your side suddenly spoke up, snapping your attention from the other guy you wanted to look at a little longer. “I had... countless problems with a lot of things this morning, and I wasn’t able to arrive on time.”

Walter sort of took a step forward, but instead of what you would naturally think of when someone carried out such a movement, he didn’t properly face Gustavo.

He stood side on, his body turned towards the machines so he could look at you or his boss with a simple movement of his head. And as of now, you seemed to be his main target. “Apparently they couldn’t be bothered to start the batch themselves.”

“That’s not true.” You mirrored his stance, faced directly towards him, instead of the man who was just trying to seek answers, as your eyebrows furrowed as much as they could.

Walter tilted his head, “You sure?” he asked, using the most condescending voice that would of set you off had you already lost the grasp on your, slowly dissipating, self control.

“Yes, I don’t understand--” Your hand rose to your face, fingers pressing into the skin beneath before dragging down to your chin. And then they dropped. You took in a deep breath. “Look... I admit it, sure, we could have started the cook. But.”

“Me and Jesse both thought it was smarter to wait after the previous mistake,” you began, emphasising your point by gesturing to the dude who was now stood behind, and his eyes sort of widened at the sudden attention.

This time it was you who took the step forward. “But yet again,” You made sure to hold yourself back from blinking as you stared right at the man who was trying so hard not to cut you off, your fists clenched at your sides. “You. Weren’t. Here.”

Your heart was thudding in your ears, a sound louder than any other thing in the room. The exhaustion was rampant through your body, continuously attacking system, and at this point testing your patience that had already become thin.

The ability to control anything was about one minute away from collapsing.

“Why were you late, Mr. White?”

When Gustavo’s voice caught your ears, you hadn’t even bothered to look his way despite the fact that Walter did. In fact, he took the chance to move away from you, which almost made him bump into the other railing.

“Car troubles, and, uh... family stuff, too, you know... all that.” he informed, his voice and the look of his face switching into one that you could instantly tell was the fakest attempt of trying to get sympathy.

“And you didn’t inform anyone of these... troubles?”

Your head turned in about a second, your gaze snapping to the man who hadn’t moved a singular inch since the last time you properly saw him. His attention was only on Walter, his eyes now slightly narrowed.

“What...” Mr. White started, the shock clear within his voice and the expression on his face, “Are you... Are you trying to say that this is my fault?”

“I am not saying anything, Mr. White.” Gustavo’s turned in the mans direction with such slowness that had a look of regret taking over anything else that was threatening to appear on Walters face. And once he stilled, he had even slightly tilted it to the side, “I am simply asking questions to understand why a job hasn’t been completed.”

Walter let out this sort of scoff of a sound as he gestured with his hands like before, “Well, then your asking the wrong person, Gus.”

He pointed towards you, this time not even bothering to look unless it was to make sure his finger was actually aimed in your direction, “They... They have been here for who knows how long, I... I-- I mean, the batch could’ve finished by now, if they just--”

“You are putting the blame... on them?” Gustavo’s voice was low, deep in pitch that it was almost gravelly and harsh to any ears that heard it. There was no direct tone, or emotion clear within it. But paired with the slow step forward, anyone could tell that it wasn’t good.

“You are putting the blame on a person who was actively trying to solve a problem that you created... because you weren’t competent enough to make a phone call?”

You were use to his intimidation tactics. In all honesty, usually, it seemed even more affective when he wasn’t using them, like when he wore that smile that never really reached his eyes.

But this...

This was different.

When Gustavo wanted to intimidate someone, or remind them of their place in the bigger picture. He had relationships to maintain, an act to keep up so that nothing could expose him and/or his business, so he never risked insulting a person in case it would backfire, create unnecessary problems.

Gustavo Fring wasn’t a man who directly insulted someone unless he was going to gain something from it... Well, apparently, until now.

For the next few seconds it seemed that Mr. White couldn’t find the exact reaction he had. His lips twitched almost every way that they could, his mouth would open and close again and again like he was mimicking a fish, all the while his head began to shake once again, “I don’t... I don’t know what to say-- I can’t... Gus, I just--”

“I have heard all I needed.” There were no movements that accompanied his words. No change to his voice a part from a mild show of a tested patience. Gustavo just stared at the man before him, unblinking, “You still have plenty time to cook.”

“You can’t be serious--”

“That’s what you came here to do... Is it not?” Gustavo pointed out simply, his head tilting to the side in a way that almost made him look like a puppy. But his face said all that it needed to.

Walter sort of cowered, avoiding the mans gaze as he took a moment to think, “I... I-- Well... Yes, but--”

In about a second, though there was almost nothing displayed on Gustavo’s face, everything sort of... dropped? His eyelids lowered in a way that wasn’t enough to hide his eyes but it was still visible, his jaw unclenched, his lips almost looked like they were turning down the way.

But again. Not once did he blink.

“Then cook.”

For a solid ten seconds, there was just utter silence. Someone could have drop a pin on the other side of the room, and it would still echo like any other sound. No one moved. No one twitched. No one spoke.

Walter took in a deep breath, his shoulders deflating when it made its way back out. And then he turned, beginning to do just as Gustavo said this time without any argument.

But the moment you started to do to the same thing--

“Not you.”

You froze. Your body hadn’t even managed to twist yet, so after sending a look to Jesse who sent one right back, you simply rocked back on your feet, resuming the same position you were in before.

His eyes were only on yours. The first time he had fully looked at you since he had entered the room.

“We have... other matters to discuss.”

After you left the room, it was practically silent when you began to walk.

There was the usual sounds that occurred from the machines within the laundromat, and the workers who you were still not sure knew about the giant meth lab beneath there feet, but between you and Gustavo there was nothing.

No exchange of words and barely even the sound of your own footsteps.

He was a few steps ahead of you, which may have been one of the main reasons, as he lead you across the paths that had big machines towering over you on each side.

There would be a few moments were you had to duck, or even completely manoeuvre, around certain objects that were hung, either needing to dry or they were connected to a moving system that would bring clothes from one section to another.

You had no idea where you were going. The second the two of you had officially exited the lab, his lips had became sealed. He just started walking, and of course, you only had one response to that.

Your gaze pretty much remained on Gustavo’s back no matter how far you went, only fleeting to make sure that you weren’t going to bump into anything, as you followed the man in front of you like a lost duckling... Though, you felt more like a child getting ready to be told off.

Eventually, after stopping yourself from getting caught up in the thoughts swirling through your mind, you found yourself walking out of the big vertical door. The entrance of the laundromat.

If your heart wasn’t pounding before it sure was now. And no matter how badly you wanted to just focus on the feeling of fresh air after being stuck in an underground room for what felt like, and probably was, about five hours... Gustavo stopped walking.

He was stood at the edge of the paved platform, hands moving to clasp behind his back as he resumed that usual straight posture.

Your steps grew slower the more close you got to standing by his side. You wanted to gage his mood, predict what was about to happen or what he was going to say, which was a bit difficult considering that you could only see the back of his head.

You cleared your throat when you had arrived to the right of him. Your eyes were slightly narrowed, adjusting to the sudden presence of the sun, while you gently leaned back and forth on your feet.

“Sir, I... I’m really sorry about this... Again,” you had begun, but almost immediately your speech planned in your head seemed to have fallen apart.

You turned your head to the side, trying to properly convey your apology through your face more than your words. “I know it doesn’t help the business, but I really, really, don’t know why this keeps happening--”

“Y/n.”

You had already been looking at Gustavo throughout your words. And maybe it was because you were too caught up in your mind, or because originally the man before you had been gazing into the distance with the usual expression that barely gave you anything to work with.

But now he was looking right back at you.

“Yes?” you answered subconsciously in a way that had your mouth snapping shut immediately after realising that you didn’t need to actually do that.

This time, Gustavo’s chin lowered, “I’m not going to scold you, Y/n.” His gaze was the most gentle you had ever seen it, along with sound of his voice. He may have said the words simply, and matter of factly, but his face told you otherwise.

You sort of just stood there for a moment, blinking at him. “You... You’re...” And then your eyebrows furrowed all over again, your body turning so that you faced him directly, “You’re not?”

Gustavo kept looking at you, and finally, since thatsituation with Mr. White, you weren’t presented with an expression of judgement. It wasn’t a look that visibly told that they thought whatever they were seeing was utter stupidity.

He took in a breath, letting his eyes fall back on the busy town ahead for a split second, before they were back on your own, “I want you to go home.”

His voice was lighter, the expression on his face no longer holding the tension that had clung to his skin.

Your lips parted, even if no sound initially came out. You stared back at him for a moment, your eyes a little wider than they were before, almost unblinking, “Did I mess up that badly?”

Gustavo’s eyebrows furrowed so quickly that you hadn’t caught onto it until he turned his body in your direction, “Forgive my phrasing.” he started, his hands remaining behind his back no matter the change of position, “This is not a punishment.”

With his next words, Gustavo made sure that you were looking at him, right into his eyes, just in case his meaning was conveyed through his voice, “You are not in trouble for the wrongdoings of another man.”

... Were you missing something? Why would Gustavo take you out of the lab?

I mean, sure, you made the deduction that not starting the batch might’ve not been such a great idea, and honestly at some point expected to get a good talking too because of it. Maybe it would be the final straw...

But here you were. Theman himself, the big boss, stood right in front of you. Directly telling you that you’re not in trouble.

“Then... I’m going to have to say that I don’t understand, Sir.” The muscles beneath your brows were getting a good work out from consistently changing between being normal and then furrowed within, practically, every thirty seconds, “We still have a batch to do, a deadline to follow.”

Influenced yet again by a man stood before you, “And who is that for?”

Your whole body felt like it wanted to deflate, fall limp and just collapse on the ground. This time it wasn’t in anger, or fear, or annoyance. It was because after everything, you could exhale the nerves that had clung to your insides. There was no use for them now.

You lightly nodded your head, the fact of not being in trouble officially processing in a way that had your gaze lowering, “... You.”

Gustavo wanted to smile. He wanted to display his pride of finally cracking the code that was your mind, having created even a bit of equal understanding, but he could still see the ghost of the previous expression that held your face hostage. The genuine concern over possible harming his business.

And him.

“I am not asking you to leave because I think that you are bad at your job, or that you don’t do anything for this business-- Because that would be entirely wrong.” he started up with this new voice that was difficult to ignore, “I am simply saying that you have the day off.”

“It is... normal in a workplace, is it not?”

By the time your eyes met Gustavo’s, your brows had furrowed once again, though now, it was for a very different reason, “I mean... Yes-- But not in this business, just...”

There was a huff of air that passed through your lips. Theexhaustion from earlier was presenting itself back into your system, making the want to talk become a lot less than before, “Let me-- Let me go back in there, we can work, we can... we can get it done.”

Gustavo’s head began shaking before you had even finished your sentence, “I can’t do that.”

“And why not?” you questioned, leaning back slightly so that you could fully take in his demeaner, analyse any look that took over his face, “I thought you said that I didn’t do anything wrong?”

“You didn’t.” he insisted almost immediately, the expression he wore going blank the way it usually did. But now wasn’t the time. “Then...” You took in yet another breath to cut off your words, trying to suppress the urges to sigh, scoff, or the sudden want to raise your voice, “Why?”

To say this day felt long was truly an understatement. Things just kept happening one after the other and still you were left in the dark. No answer as to why things progressed into the situations they had.

“Y/n, I am not... risking the loss of more time to arguing.” It was like you could visibly see the words he chose to say. The pure caution, decisions careful enough so that he wouldn’t set off the things he could see getting ready in your eyes, “I know that if you go back in there, Mr. White will not... let go. Not unless I place someone in there to stand and watch at all times.”

“All I am telling you is that you are free to go while I... sort things out.” Gustavo somehow made himself stand taller, trying to prove the confidence in which was already heard in his voice and to also prepare for the possibility of you finally reacting in the way that your body had wanted to for hours.

But despite what he had envisioned playing out, or tried to predict, it was pretty much the opposite. In fact, the only proper reaction to his words was your shoulders deflating, ridding your muscles of its constant worry.

And then you crossed your arms over your chest, sniffing as you did so, “And what about Jesse... Mr. White? What-- What about them?” you questioned, waiting for the words to settle before you looked back into those other pair of eyes, only to find that the look from earlier had repossessed his face, “It may not seem like it, but I assure you, Y/n.”

“Mr. Pinkman and Mr. White can handle it themselves.”

For the first time throughout the entire day, you felt the want to smile. “Okay then.” You nodded your head once, your grip tightening on your arms as you took a step backwards, “Thank you, uh... Mr. Fring. It seems you have saved me again.”

“Gus. Call me Gus, and please, there is no need to thank me.” Gustavo started up before you could even try to turn in the direction of your car, “It comes under being an employee.”

Your body stilled after about one more steps backwards, your eyes narrowing at the man before you, playfully, “Then how come I haven’t heard you getting protective when someone else makes a mistake?”

Gustavo mirrored the look on your face, “I wasn’t... I wasn’t being... protective?” In his case, however, he wasn’t doing it in a teasing sort of manner, he was just genuinely confused at the comment. “I simply understood the situation and acted accordingly.”

Your arms loosened in your hold until they lowered to your sides once again, “And yet you defended me.” If you were close enough to Gustavo you would probably have started circling him, “Even though I was in the wrong... both times.”

Gustavo unfurrowed his brows, “You weren’t in the wrong just because some man has an incorrect idea of authority… and a very poor concept of time.” His tone was the flattest you had ever heard it. There was no emotion behind it until the words of... slight insult.

The urge to smile grew stronger that had you pressing your lips together to stop yourself from letting out a laugh. “Still,” Though, after a moment, you managed to compose yourself, “If you hadn’t arrived when you did...”

Gustavo huffed air through his nose, bowing his head a tad before he let it shake a few times. When he looked back up it was clear that he was trying to hold back whatever was wanting to take over his face, but you could see it in his eyes.

“Go home.”

There was this feeling of giddiness begging to erupt in your chest. It spread a warmth to every part of your body until it was a collective feeling. It caught you of guard, causing the smile you were trying to hide begin to curl at your lips.

So, after a sharp breath and a nod as a thanks, you sort of ducked away, twisting yourself around so that you could make your way towards your car.

However, the nearer that you got to the vehicle, it seemed there was a thought pushing itself further and further to the centre of your mind. It may have been more of a feeling, as you weren’t entirely sure that you wanted to go back to your house.

I mean, sure, being able to take a nice long shower, grab a bite to eat, and completely flop on your bed sounded... Well, pretty nice actually.

But the next session for a batch was now going to be days away.

Days from your work and a certain Fring.

You had completely stilled about a step away from your car. There was a quiet breath that huffed through your nose, one that only you could hear, “You know what, actually.”and then you turned on your heel, the concrete practically scuffing under your shoe. “I’ve worked for you for quite some time now, and yet…”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been inside your restaurant.”

The man your eyes managed to focus on seemed to be closer than he was the last time you saw him. A fact that made your brain almost completely miss the words that came out of his mouth. “Well, it’s not an obligation.”

There was something about the look on his face. Something about the way he pressed his lips together immediately after he finished speaking. He may have assured that the visit wasn’t needed, but... there might have still been a want.

“What hours is it open?” you asked, the sound of your voice almost echoing through the parking area, even if the noises from the active laundromat were louder.

Gustavo’s head slightly rose after a moment, one of his brows slightly twitching as he processed your question. And then he cleared his throat, “That would depend on the day.” he informed, readjusting the hands he still held behind his back.

You hummed in response, letting your gaze fall into the distance as you thought.

Honestly, after the past few hours you could barely remember what part of the week you were in right now. So, instead, you thought back to what a usual week would look like.

What was the day that was perfectly set between the times you would possibly be able to see Gustavo at work? Right in the middle?

“How about Thursday?” you suggested, now watching as Gustavo began to make his way across the concrete, slightly nodding his head, “Then... Seven to ten, I believe.”

“All right,” you breathed out, the speed in which your heart beat increased the more the man approached. “One less lunch to plan for the week.” You practically gulped as you reached backwards, fingers patting against the cool metal of the vehicle for a moment until they located the handle.

Gustavo stilled himself about three steps in front of you, the look on his face signalling that he was thinking about something as he wasn’t making direct eye contact, “Actually... I would suggest to come around dinner time.”

Just as you were about to tug on the handle, your hand froze, along with pretty much every other part of your body.

The man was now looking right at you, his voice sort of timid in a way that caught you even more off guard. And apparently himself too. “It’s... more quiet.” He cleared his throat, “Less people around.”

Your arm slowly moved back to your side, releasing the warm handle from any sort of grasp.

There was a fight going on in your chest. A want to give into the urge of running away like you would’ve done in a situation close to this as a kid. But you weren’t a child anymore, far from it.

It took a good moment for any sound to be able to roll off of your tongue. And as soon as something eventually had, it was like your lungs remembered how to properly function. “Will you be there?”

You felt younger. The two of you may have been stood pretty much right in front of the other, yet neither of you could maintain eye contact longer than a few seconds before you collectively had to look away, no matter how confident either one of you tried to seem.

Gustavo cleared his throat, though it sounded like it had barely done anything. “I believe so.” he finally confirmed, and regardless of the fact that his voice was still quiet, there was this tone that took over his words.

“Well, good...” That giddy feeling returned, even if it had probably never left. “I think I probably would still go if you weren’t there, but... it would be a lot less... fun.”

The man before you let the slightest smile curl at a side of his mouth, “Well, we wouldn’t want that now would we?” He sounded more breathy this time, a natural progression from his already quiet voice. But it wasn’t because of nerves, or a reaction of his lungs, which you had initially thought. It was intentional.

“Not at all.” Your voice in question was more full than his, however, there was this slight whisper to it, as if Gustavo should be the only person allowed to hear it.

“Then it’s settled,” he began, slightly lowering his head in away that had your back pressing into your car. His normal tone had seeped back through his words like he was back in boss mode. But not quite Gustavo Fring just yet. “How does... eight o’clock sound? Unless you eat earlier?”

Your head shook practically without a second of hesitance. The ability to move your lips was barely thereso you resorted to moving to the side, finally pulling on the handle of your car door until it swung out far enough that you could stand behind it.

You could see Gustavo raise his eyebrows just the slightest as the door had created a sort of separation, and it had you biting back a grin. “It’s perfect.” you insisted, trying to sound as neutral as possible despite the, possibly, clear ways you felt at that moment.

And then you lowered yourself into the car, having to slightly shifted backwards a little bit to properly get into the drivers seat before you swung your legs inside.

Your hand grasped the inside of your door, your fingers making certain that they had a good grip, before your eyes landed on the figure through the glass of the window that hadn’t moved an inch.

And then you smiled.

“Gus.”

#gustavo fring #gus fring #gustavo fring x reader #breaking bad x reader #breaking bad #brba #gender neutral reader

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omgpoindexter · 5 months

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any nurseydex fics on ur mind lately? I find myself thinking about them more lately but seem to have read everything for them!

to be honest i’ve not been reading too many new fics lately, i’ve mainly been writing. hopefully some of my own fics will be out there and on your mind early next year!

but here’s some from the amazing folks on this here site that stay on my mind. most of them aren’t new, i’m not very good at keeping up to date, but hopefully there’s something new for you here that you’ll love!

under the cut because this got long <3

a comprehensive guide to not talking about it by @alocalband

Nursey tried to kiss him.

Derek Nurse tried to kiss him.

The more Dex thinks about it, the more absolutely ridiculous it sounds.

one of my favourite fics of all time. just perfect. read anything by them actually, they’re all brilliant! this one though, i revisit it so often i could recite it by now.

to be alone with you also by alocalband

Will and Derek spend their junior year learning how to live together, learning how to be friends, and, eventually, figuring out that they'd like to be more.

im not going to list all of their fics (even though i could) but this one needs listing. always on my mind.

marie, hold on tight (and down we went) by @petedavidsonscock

Nursey says, “I’m melancholic as fuck right now, bros.”

Chowder opens his mouth to prompt him to continue, but Dex elbows him and mutters, “Don’t encourage him.”

short but so, so sweet. they’re best friends!!! also poor chowder. his endless over it-ness is one of my favourite nurseydex tropes

counting stars (what we could be) also by petedavidsonscock

Nursey has spent the last four years pretending to believe in astrology to annoy Dex. But with graduation coming up, the bit has to come to an end. Luckily, Dex is probably going to take the news in a really chill, normal, casual way.

this made me laugh out loud. nursey would totally do this and it would absolutely play out in this exact way. hilarious

in front of the same bathroom mirror by @geniusorinsanity

It's not surprising that sharing a room changes things, but neither of them expect the most important conversations in their strange, awkward friendship to happen in their shared bathroom.

(Or: five conversations Dex and Nursey have in a shared bathroom, and one in bed.)

UGH! just something about nursey and dex learning to live alongside each other and talking about the important things and being BEST FRIENDS. and kissing. obviously. this is another fic i reread every month or so

too much (extra) by @denois / @sexydexynurse

Dex nodded, not moving his gaze from the path in front of them. "Well, if there's anything I can do to help, I've got your back."

Snorting, Nursey's mouth let out the first words he thought without his permission. "Not much you can do unless you're going to date me."

i was smiling all the way through this and so i think more people need to read it. it’s super cute. dex wooing nursey is honestly one of my fave things because he deserves it!!!!

kiss my chapped lips and call me yours by @omgdexnursey

Dex prefers things that are easy, simple, and straightforward.

Nursey is none of those things.

angst warning, but also CUTE WARNING. this is a really sweet story. because nursey is SO MUCH and dex doesn’t get it until he does. but them learning to take care of each other and being soft… i need a minute

i’m sinking fast (it’s alright)

Dex blinks up at the ceiling a few times, trying to reckon with himself and the constant loop of what are we doing what are we doing what are we doing spinning through his dehydrated brain.

When he turns his head, Nursey's already dozing off. Dex sighs, gazing back up at the ceiling, puzzled by the warm press of Nursey’s leg against his, the very insistence of them sharing a bed.

Friends don’t do this, he thinks.

the character development in this is just. i love it. the journey through the seasons, the passage of time… gorgeous

i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm by @jennybeantime

It's senior year and No, Dex is Not attracted to Nursey and No, he is Not going to do anything about it.

use a taylor song as your fic title and you’ve got me. obsessed with how soppy and cute this story is. obsessed with dex having absolutely zero self control. obsessed!!!!

can’t hide from you like i hide from myself by @andtimestoodstill

In which Dex has only applied to jobs in cities that Nursey has applied to grad schools in. They are Not Together.

oh gosh, their banter and interactions in this are so charming, chowder and the others included. even the arguing (there’s arguing!! angst warning!!!). i really enjoyed this, i never read much later fic but this is a great example. adorable

#edit added another good’un!#i hope at least one of these is new for you!!!!!#i need to get better at reading recent nurseydex fics i always just go back to my old faithfuls #new years resolution read more !#nurseydex #answers #anon #omgcp #fic rec

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death-note-lawlight-fic-recs · 10 months

Text

Lawlight ffnet fic recs

This is probably going to be the main post for ffnet fic recs. There's only so much I can do in 30 minutes, so they're not exactly organized by categories. Will add more later, probably.

Check the summary and notes. Read the warnings and authors notes for each fic. I'm not responsible for what you end up reading, rating wise.

Please note, fics that are also on ao3 aren't here.

Bestest of the best. So Good, I can't recommend enough. Go read it asap.

Of Music

Summary: Light is at the theatre, escaping from his life as he does every performance. Fate hands him her calling card in the way of a stranger sitting across the room. Can Light maintain his life when this one man manages to slip into it like he belongs there? AU

Notes: At the top of this list is my very favorite and probably the best Death Note fic of all time. Have you read Of Music? No? Then go read it right now.

Coexistence is Boredom

Summary: A new deathnote. A new plan for world sanctity. And an entirely misled Catholic clergy. Raito and L take their respective places on the sides of their own justice. A final battle waged in the Garden of Eden.

Notes: Another one of my favorites, this fic is a post-Yotsuba arc AU.

Redeemer

Author's note/summary: The story takes place after Death Note ends, although the main characters have not died. Here the Yellowbox Warehouse is essentially the pinnacle of L's 6-year long offensive against Kira, who believes L to be dead, when he really isn't. L faked his death, and proceeded with the case behind the cover of his three top heirs, Mello, Matt and Near. Kira himself doesn't succumb to his defeat, but is instead rescued at the last moment by his nemesis lover who decides that a more apropos end to the God of the New World is not death--but redemption, in the form of a new case and a 5th so-called Kira, that L and Light must bring down together… or risk losing everything. Yes, there is actually a plot LOL Buuuut, this puppy has yaoi and pairing's aplenty. LxLight and MelloxMatt are technically the mains, but when you cut straight down to it, this is a story about Light and Mello and how they go from hate to need, from enemies to lovers, and maybe even something more…

Notes: This fic... isn't on ffnet. Nor on ao3. This fic is on adultffnet. Mind the tags, the pairings, and allll the warnings. This fic isn't for everyone. I'd recommend it as 21+ age group. It still has amazing plot, Light's psychological and character analysis and development as L attempts to make Light give up being Kira for him. I've warned you. If you still read it, then it's on you. There's also a few sequels with B, but the author has taken them down.

Redivivus

Summary: The most important thing Ryuk learned watching Light Yagami was how to follow the rules to the letter and still break them.

Notes: Another of my favorites. This fic has Ryuk enabling Light to time travel, kid!Light shenanigans, Light trolling L, L trolling Light, and pre-lawlight dynamics (since Light is a pre-teen while L is a teen).

Disorder

Summary: L's ordinary day is interrupted by a not-so-ordinary disappearance that he's determined to solve. And when it reappears right under his nose? Obviously a personal attack on his detective abilities-time for mystery, revenge and maybe even a little romance!

Notes: Light runs away, L takes the case. Anything more would be spoilers. This author has a lot of other amazing fics, so check those out as well!

Memento Mori

Summary: Light is brutally assaulted and decides to end it all –and what better way then to admit he's Kira and let his nemesis do it for him? Of course, things with L can never be so simple. L/Light.

Note: Another amazing fic by the author of Primitive Liars. The summary is accurate.

Between Black and White

Summary: When L captures Light, he finds himself unwilling to relinquish his kindred spirit to the police, and instead has other plans to make Kira atone for his crimes. But the saga of Shinigami, genius intellect and old memories - BB - has only just begun.

Note: L is a selfish, manipulative bastard. L won and wanted Light to stay. Light's willingness to stay is another matter entirely, nice to have but not necessary.

Spira Mirabilis

Summary: Sayu, worried about her brother, decides to sneak into his room to steal his diary, triggering the explosion that causes her death and Light’s serious injury. With a scar and no memories of the Death Note, how will Yagami Light’s life unfold?

Note: I re-read this fic everytime I'm on a ffnet fic read binge. The characterization is amazing. Light is a human, L is a human, Sayu's death has consequences on Light's psyche and general relationship with the Yagami family. L's relationship with Light is so soft and healing and tender.

Ragnarok

Summary: A serial killer emerges in Japan, basing his murders on Norse Mythology. NPA star-detective Light Yagami and the World's Greatest Detective L are both targets, and the case may lead to the end of the world for both of them.

Notes: The summary is very accurate. I love the pining that goes in here. This AU is very well thought out, with canon characters taking a whole new direction due to the lack of the Kira case.

Etched

Summary: It was a brief fling that lasted much longer than it was supposed to. One a student and part-time forensic artist, the other the greatest detective in the world. When it ended, both were sure they'd never meet again. But fate had other plans.

Notes: Two very safe, lonely men fall in love with each other. They both have secrets. Their secrets and lack of trust does not make up for their love for each other. Alas, the fic stops at an interesting time. But the relationship development is still to read for.

Better than the rest

Tale of Two Death Notes

Summary: The Death Note was destined to bring them together, the rest was up to them.

Notes: Light as a scientist/researcher type working on the death note, L as the detective whose case has brought him to the mystery of the death note.

I Won't Say

Summary: Having found out L's name, Light can finally have everything he wants: the world and, more importantly, L. Convincing L, however, turns out to be more difficult than killing him, especially with a house full of orphans to stir the soup. Christmas fluff balanced by a power struggle between the dynamic duo.

Notes: Probably the best Christmas themes lawlight fic. It's soft, tender, understanding, there's communication, trust building, family bonding, and a happy ending

Summary: Young Light's parents are murdered and he's sent to Wammy's. For a while, he's thrilled- it's challenging AND he's meeting people like A and C! …And L. Jerk. Then B shows up, and, well… stuff goes bad. Fast. With havoc as only B can wreak.

Notes: Light is a pathological liar. L is into that.

Irrefutable Connection

Summary: L lays open his life, soul and existance to Light and Light does the same for L, writing the last of his secrets upon L's skin. Light and L forge an unbreakable agreement to never betray each other; aiding and influencing one another without fear.

Notes: Lawlight confess their identities, there's smut and plotting involved, a 'L joins Kira' fic, I guess.

Desideratum

Summary: L didn't have a real name and he finds his immunity to the Death Note tragic. Light joins him on his journey of self discovery when Interpol joins the task force in finding Kira. The battle of the wits between detective and suspect isn't over.

Notes: None. I don't recall enough about this fic other than that it was good.

Infection

Summary: A virus rampaged Europe and two top detectives find themselves stuck amongst the aftermath. Suspicions are raised and concluded, emotions are tested. Whoever said death was supposed to be easy?

Notes: Lawlight, with zombie virus around. I don't recall enough about this fic other than that it was good.

Hurt, Angst, Tragedy. Comfort? What's that? Is it tasty?

The Prince

Summary: He is not a saint. He is not God. Even his sense of justice is skewed. After all, how can Kira rationalize his use of the Death Note when he himself is nothing but a common criminal? A member of the yakuza?

Notes: Read the authors warnings at the start of this fic. Another fic I'd say is 21+, this fic has Light kidnapped and forced to be a yakuza member. Alll the warnings apply. Amazing plot, character growth makes sense, I want to wrap Light in a blanket burrito and never let go.

Asylum

Summary: Upon recovering his memories of Kira, Raito has a terrible choice to make. What he does choose throws him into a realm of insanity and suddenly it's the God of the New World that needs the rescuing--and L is the only one who can help.

Notes: Another fic that I'd recommend is 21+. Has a sequel 'Silence'. The fic name and summary is accurate, with all the warnings that implies.

True Elision

Summary: Raito dies and becomes nothing. But the Shinigami need his soul,so they give him a second chance.They recreate his spirit and send him to a hellish trial where he must face his living nightmares.Intense romance comes late in fic

Notes: Lots of trigger warnings. You've been warned. Only hurt, no comfort for Light. Takes place post canon. Romance comes in veryyyy late in the game. I love how, in that one riddle scene, it shows that Light is very much human and not Shinigami material. Has a happy ending, if you can last till then.

A Cure for Love

Summary: Light and L fall in love during the Yotsuba arc and Light's master plan is derailed when an assassin steals the Death Note. The threat of Kira is dwarfed when Kira's powers seem to have fallen into the hands of a terrorist organization known as Astraea and Light and L are united to find the culprit, but for how long…

Notes: Every character in this fic wishes Light never gets back his Kira memories, including Light himself. Alas, he does. And every character suffers for it, including Light himself. Check the warnings before reading. Has a bittersweet ending.

Poison Apple

Summary: Death Note with a Disney spin. Maybe their poison drenched love, this twisted fairytale of most wicked beauty, is all that matters, even when L is dragged back from his grave and faced with his poisoned apple again.

Notes: No lawlight rec list including ffnet fics is complete without this fic. So here it is. Warnings apply.

Crack & Crack Taken Seriously (yes, both are different)

Death Note Dating Gameshow

Summary: Being the soon to be God of the new world can be a rewarding if lonely job. But do not fear obsessive Kira-worshippers, for Sakura Tv is here to ensure that the savior finds that special somebody.

Notes: The intro fic to death note lawlight crack fics. One of the best ever. Don't take it seriously.

Adaptation

Summary: Even Light’s plans don’t take spontaneously changing gender into account. Fortunately, he can adapt.

Notes: Light changes gender and that's all it takes to bring that UST to surface.

A Modest Proposal

Summary: Light, pathetically poor college student that he is, is in dire need of cash. The renowned detective and more importantly, multi billionaire L can help this wretched situation: and subsequently, the business negotiations begin.

Notes: Light is broke. Light studies economics. Light has a plan. A married couple have lower taxes. Now he only needs to convince L.

Discordant Harmony

Summary: What happens when new artist Yagami Raito manages to capture the attention of socially inept, anonymous artist L Lawliet? Hilarity, of course. Matchmakers, troublesome sisters, and crazy lawyers pretending to be drag queens? What is this world coming to?

Notes: THE Death Note Lawlight crack fic. This fic, to me, is the best of the best and defines the lawlight crack fic genre. They don't make fics like this anymore. Which, in a way, is good. One is enough. Plus, I reallyy don't know how any crack fic can top this one.

The End is Near

Summary: A horrible day gets a bit bet - er, worse - when Mello discovers that a certain albino boy has disa-Neared. Matt, Mello, L, and Light set out to find him, come hell, high water, or chocolate shortages. Well, maybe not those.

Notes: The summary is pretty accurate. Its a crack fic, so keep your brains and logic outside the door when you read it.

12 Sides Of L

Summary: After a freak accident, the team and Raito find themselves in a place no human should ever have been before. In the mind of the greatest detective, L.

Notes: I've never read a fic with this plot before. A unique AU, delves into L's mind, literally. Crack taken seriously.

Night and Day

Summary: The NPA are assisting mysterious detective L with a new case. Raito has to work with an unusual partner…

Notes: Crack taken seriously. A good enough case fic, where Light and L meet on a case.

#death note #lawlight #lawlight fic recs #lawlight fic recs for fanfiction.net #ffnet #ffnet fic recs #while ao3 is down

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burins · 10 months

Text

i was doing comics livetweets on twitter but that seems... dangerous given the longevity of that site so i'm going to bring them over here so that in six months when i go "what comic was that in" i can find it. i'm breaking my "no new 52" rule to read greg pak's action comics run bc i've heard it's good! i already read the first tpb but it was on my desk shift so i emailed panels to myself. Country Kids Make Do!

AC (2011) #25: clark is so so charming in this run! he also breaks martha's finger AS A BABY which is a bold move on a writing level. if i found a baby in a cornfield and it broke my finger i might consider leaving that baby at the nearest hospital even if it was as adorable and round-cheeked as clark is here. ma kent is obviously made of sterner stuff than I.

CUTE!

now that we've gotten the backstory out of the way it's time for clark to fight the wind. literally. he tries to reverse a hurricane.

frankly i also find this charming! this is such a young thing to do. i also thought i was god's answer to every problem when i was 20. fortunately i did not have superhuman powers so i never accidentally tossed a whale in the air.

the art in these next few issues is Pretty Rough in the face department. aaron kuder does some rly lovely backgrounds and landscapes and action scenes and then you get a close up and we have some real adult animation ass mouths. it's still not as bad as this though!

AC 26: after clark fights the wind we have a charming moment where we learn that jimmy thinks clark plays a lot of sudoku bc he's always on his phone looking at Metropolis Nextdoor and trying to find crimes. clark have you ever considered going on normal gossip?

jokes aside these panels make me pretty emo about the intrinsic horror of being clark kent. you can hear every bad thing that happens, all of the time, and you also have the power and the will to stop it, or at least to try to. and that's your whole life forever!! woof!!!!

smash cut to the rainforest, where lana lang, electrical engineer, is busy excavating deep under the earth for geothermal energy. now i myself am not an electrical engineer but i don't think this is usually how that works. it's also been years since i took envi or geos classes but i do think that if you disturb forest soils in one of the most delicate and biodiverse areas on earth. this might be a problem. it's fine though bc lana lang is a hashtag girlboss and grabs a gun the first chance she gets.

clark shows up to fight the monster that of course appears, and immediately gets shook like a chew toy. delightful. he makes friends with the monster (also delightful!) and immediately gets stabbed by a ghost soldier (literally that is this character's name.)

AC 27: next issue we learn that clark has adopted the monster, who is actually a child. very very cute. in an alternate universe i think this kid becomes his robin and he and bruce meet up earlier to exchange parenting tips for underqualified 20somethings who accidentally ended up with very rambunctious wards.

clark's exasperation about lana's total inability to use his superhero name is deeply relatable. also clark what else did you pretend to throw into the sun and not actually throw into the sun

AC 28: we go underground and learn about an ancient secret society. i'm skimming this plot. lana is very excited about sustainable energy.

i had to look at this face so you do too!

i REALLY do not know how i feel about leonard sawyer, mahican nation, ghost soldier for (I think?) the US government! especially bc in about ten pages he is gonna literally stab clark in the back. hm!!!!

AC 29:

that's my special guy--

we get some more fighting... clark loses his newly adopted son who is actually a secret prince of underground. hey do we ever hear about the underground civilization again? here i was setting my fic in space so i could write aliens, like a chump. i guess i will find out when i read the next volume!

overall i'm enjoying this run, it's making me feel the clark kent emotion TM. god i do hope we get a new artist soon. sorry mr kuder but i need you to learn how mouths work (eta i looked this up and it's kuder most of the way through this run. sigh. i will simply zoom out a little on hoopla.)

#comics not even once #//#///#////#/////#comics #superman #pak action comics #dc comics

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lavenderpanic · 6 months

Note

Your disclaimer does not mean anything when this is what you put in your writing:

Starvation is not a punishment in kink. Even someone who doesn’t know about kink knows that. Or isnt “educated” as you said. Food restriction and weight is not part of kink.

That is not what somnophilia is, because he did not consent.

Bucky was sixteen (underage) and Brock didn’t know. Is that his fault?

And the club let underage Bucky inside which is not how kink clubs work.

A quote from a chapter. “Bucky shrugs. “Technically an acronym, but sure. Honestly, Brock and I kind of do our own thing, so I really don’t know if either of us would call it that, but that’s… the general term, I suppose. I had this… this period of a few months, I guess, a few years ago, when I was super anxious and withdrawn and… I just wasn’t in a good headspace. I kinda felt attracted to the thought of dominance and submission and all that because it felt like a safe way to cope with my anxiety, and I met Brock at a club and… and it’s just been us since then. Nobody’s ever understood me like he does. A lot of people look at me like I’m crazy or weird, but Brock never thought that. It’s like… a balanced scale, kinda. He’s my counterweight, just as strong in the opposite direction.” This is not what kink is and it is not why poeple get into kink. This is false information and does not represent the community.

He has a safe word but Brock does not listen to it. Bucky should know that this is not how safe words work.

There are so many examples. You are corellating abuse and kink and that is dangerous for people who are actually in the community. Being abused does not excuse you.

I've been staring at this for like an hour and I just... like I'm genuinely at a loss for words. This is so incredibly weird. Like, I feel so weird right now, this is so creepy. I don't even think I know my fic well enough to pull fucking examples like this out of my ass why the fuck are you so weirdly obsessed??

Food restriction can 100% be a part of a TPE. Again, I've got weird and mixed-up feelings about it, but it isn't like... absurdly uncommon. But also, like... Bucky has anorexia. Brock knows this. Brock is abusing him. Brock is not like... conforming to BDSM rules or practices or whatever. I really don't know what you aren't understanding about this. I'm not saying that food restriction = abuse or what Brock is doing = a normal part of BDSM.

The fic is tagged "non-consensual somnophilia." It is not tagged "somnophilia." I don't even use that word in-text, I'm pretty sure. AGAIN, I feel weird about somnophilia, but if that's part of your dynamic and it's consensual WHATEVER IDCCCCC I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUUUUU.

Brock knows Bucky is underage before they do anything together sexually. He also coerces Bucky the first time they meet, regardless of his age. Yup, it's Brock's fault.

Clubs will let in people who are 18. This is a fact. Like I said in the fic, they mark that Bucky is <21 and can't drink. He has a fake ID which says he is 18.

That quote is actually inspired by my own experience, and I know I'm not the only person who felt that way. I don't claim to represent every person involved in the community. I never have. This is one person's story. You can't just make a blanket statement like "this isn't why people get into kink" because you're just fucking wrong.

Bucky knows this isn't how safewords work. He is abused and assaulted. He is being abused. He is being manipulated. You said you were older than me but your reading comprehension skills are like kindergarten level.

Nothing I have written is dangerous for any community (idk except maybe abusers?) and I have absolutely no clue why you would think so. I'm not claiming to represent an entire community. I am sharing my experience. I am writing one person's story. Fact of the matter is, there are many people involved in kink who take advantage of people who are new to kink because they can be so easy to manipulate and coerce and push past their boundaries. If you're saying I'm wrong, then you're either so fucking dumb I'm genuinely concerned for your wellbeing, or you're a predator or someone who excuses them. YOUUUU are the one sharing gross misinformation.

Go fuck yourself, genuinely. I'm blocking you and every other account you make and I'm not giving you my attention anymore. I have actual real-life problems and I really don't have the mental capacity at the moment to deal with shit like this. This is the one true safe space I still have in my life. I can't imagine how fucking miserable and alone you have to be to spend your fucking time making anonymous fucking accounts and antagonizing someone trying to bring awareness to victims of DV?? What the actual fuck is your deal? Go get a fucking job or volunteer or get a hobby you miserable piece of shit.

#tw abuse mention #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3

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rockyroadkylers · 4 months

Note

14, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 3! Or just a couple if that's too much

not too much, if you don't mind me rambling for several paragraphs 🤭 i'll put some of it under a cut, lol.

3. This Love is Worth the Fight

this oneeeeeee 😍

this one is a sequel to my Kensington divergence Alex whump fic, which ended up being surprisingly highly requested after I posted the original. the original was just a oneshot, but this fic is gonna be much longer, with several chapters, going into Alex's recovery and Henry and Alex learning how to be a real couple while also dealing with backlash from the Crown and the email leak oop

so, one of the things i have planned for this fic is Henry and Alex exchanging handwritten letters after the email leak. Henry starts it as a way to give Alex something to read during the nighttime hours when visitors aren't allowed at the hospital; he starts writing in a journal that he leaves in Alex's room, and it makes Alex feel a little less lonely. in true Alex fashion, he writes Henry a list in response (the famous "incomplete list", except since it's handwritten, it doesn't get leaked with the rest of the emails, so it gets to stay between them. and Alex adds a few things to it that are specific to this fic.)

A continued list of things I love about HRH Prince Henry of Wales: - The fact that you came to see me that first day even though you were scared. Your bravery amazes me every goddamn day. - The way you tricked me into consuming your favorite classic authors by reading them out loud to me when I can’t hold up a book by myself (you’re not as sneaky as you think, but you’re cute, so I’ll allow it). - How clearly I can hear your voice in my head when I read the things you’ve written for me. - The fact that you snore when you fall asleep sitting up, like a sexy grandpa. - The way you roll your eyes when I say shit like “sexy grandpa”.

7. From Texas, With Love

This one is an AU where Alex is a child actor who gets cast in his first big TV role as Arthur's on-screen stepson. Alex uses acting as a coping mechanism - when he first gets cast, Ellen and Oscar's divorce is still fresh, and he throws himself into his role to escape from reality. Arthur takes him under his wing, and later introduces Alex to his son Henry, because he knows that both boys could use a friend, and he thinks they could be good for each other.

8. Christmas Carol AU

i came up with the concept for this one (and most of my other christmas AUs, tbh) after christmas was already over 😂 but at least that means i have 11 months to write it!

this one is, obviously, inspired by Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, and it's another Kensington divergence fic where Henry tells Alex to leave. Instead of Alex running off into the night and getting hit by a car, though, he actually does make it back to DC safely, and fast-forward a few months, it's almost Christmas and Henry is feeling pretty miserable. He goes to bed one night, and he's visited by the ghost of Arthur Fox!

9. National Treasure AU

gonna refer you to these posts, because that's pretty much all i have for this one so far 😅

10. Oscar Diaz as the Santa Clause

this is one of my newest AUs!!! i'm actually so excited about it 😍 I've explained most of my ideas in more detail in the Brownstone already, but basically it's based on the Tim Allen movie The Santa Clause. Oscar is Scott, and Alex is Charlie. Alex flies out to California to spend Christmas with Oscar, and Oscar becomes the next Santa when the old one falls off their roof.

I'm really excited about this one - I used to write parent-child family fic all the time, but I haven't in a good few months now, and I kind of miss it, so this fic is gonna be really fun to work on, I think.

14. The Tangled AU

again, referring back to this post 😊

#ask game #my wips #rwrb #tomatoes

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mischievouschan4 · 7 months

Note

Ok I just want to send a hug and an apology for ever leaving you and Transference, it's amazing!!! I just read it, some of it again, and I am wordless with admiration, feeling like I have a thousand questions but am unable to articulate them. Alone the grey Jedi teachings... Please can we talk about that, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Omg dude, DOOOD!!! Srsly no need to apologize ever! Hahaha I am so easy, like, I'm just happy you're enjoying the fic! 😭🥰💕💕💕 (But your compliments are super nice!!!!!!!)

As for Grey Jedi lore (a hot topic for some people, I know), I have LOTS of thoughts! I've watched so many video essays about this on YouTube and have become heavily influenced by this one lol. It has a few main points I really want to incorporate into Transference:

The video talks about how the Jedi live this ascetic lifestyle where they deny themselves everything (pleasure, strong emotions, love, etc), which is the exact opposite of Sith's "life in the fast lane" mentality - the video has a great quote "the Sith are willing to exchange suffering for life affirming experiences...[to get the full spectrum of life]". This includes embracing all of those ugly emotions that the Jedi swear off. Realistically, I strongly believe moderation is the way to go. If I think about my own life, I'd get bored in one situation and burnt out in the other, so Grey Jedi philosophy represents that middle ground when it comes to using the Force in a healthy, sustainable, "happy" way. From a character perspective, I think the story of Star Wars told in the Prequels (and maybe the Clone Wars show?) just really showcases how hard it was to actually follow the Jedi Code? Our main characters were so miserable because they had to keep fighting against their natural inclinations to care/love/think. Obviously, there are characters who uphold the stereotypical Jedi lifestyle impeccably (Yoda, Mace, the rest of the Council, etc.), but not every Force user feels that way (Dooku, Qui-Gon, Anakin, and especially Obi-Wan - all of his characterizations in the books are of him struggling with his feelings)! Why should they continue to deny themselves? It's like being subjugated to a school of thought that was only imposed on them just because they were born a certain way (if they weren't Force users, they would be free to love and marry and have kids without judgement).

Obviously, I do think full Sith mentality isn't healthy either, if you're constantly seeking more power, more strength, more more more, it's like an addiction that spirals. The Sith see power as the path to freedom so they can bulldoze through anything and anyone that challenges them, but in that pursuit they actually lose their rational thought sometimes to the pull of greed. On the other hand, Jedi see freedom as freedom of the mind. If you can completely separate your decisions from your desires, you've conquered the possibility of making "bad" or "wrong" choices. But emmm... yeah, who does this? I think this is a great example that shows that neither side in isolation is sustainable.

Additionally, the Sith believe that constant conflict/strife make you stronger, so they are constantly testing and pushing their limits to the extremes to ensure they are as powerful as possible (a lot of it coming from strong emotions like hate and anger, which are TOTALLY HEALTHY to express). I think it ties really nicely with this famous video about the quote that goes, “Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times” (G. Michael Hopf). I feel like the Jedi Order was kind of just going through this degenerative process during the Prequels Era - the long peace had allowed them to become kind of complacent in their use of their Force. Basically, they had established a "safe zone" of Force use with this HUGE buffer away from anything Dark Side related that kept anyone from Falling accidentally, but also restricted people from reaching their full potential. So in Transference, Obi-Wan needs to break through the "norms" established by the Jedi in order, he needs to push himself to the point of struggle, in order to prepare to train Anakin (who is just Boss level skilled). But I don't think the struggle is purely physical for Obi-Wan (as I portray it for Maul), it's more mental and spiritual for him? Specifically, how deeply he explores the Dark Side and how uncomfortable that makes him based on everything he's been taught.

This video also delves into Nietzsche's Master Slave morality (with religious themes), which is SUPER interesting. Idk if it'll make it into Transference because it's a bit sophisticated for my brain to comprehend, but essentially, the Sith align with Master morality and the Jedi align with Slave morality. Master morality being that it is the duty of the strong to rule over the weak because they need that "guidance". We can see this embodied in the structure of the Empire. On the other hand, Slave morality values things like kindness, self-sacrifice, obedience, etc., which Nietzsche argues is just what those who are not strong enough to rule have tricked themselves into thinking are good traits. AKA that the Jedi are so focused on dogma only because if people deviate or question the Code, then it'll become clear that they don't actually have control over anything. The Jedi Order according to Nietzsche would be full of conformity and suppressing talent for the sake of maintaining equilibrium within the pack (that buffer previously mentioned). Transference is about Obi-Wan showing the Council that it IS possible to step outside that established boundary and not Fall because Jedi with strong convictions are able to stick to their principles even with temptation all around them. I don't think I'm explaining it very well, but the video is great!

ANYWAYS, just my two cents on this topic in another essay for you, Wibz 😅 Hope it wasn't too much! My take is that if you incorporate ideas from both sides, life is balanced and you're not miserable. Obi-Wan will finally allow himself to be pissed about everything that happened before 😌 I'd love to shout at you anytime about Grey Jedi!!!!

#Grey Jedi #lore #I have THOUGHTS #writing inspo #Transference #thank you for coming to my TEDTalk #these are just my Opinions #I don't mean any offense!

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bluest-planet · 1 year

Text

I hope this doesn't come off as extremely negative, or gatekeep-y, or trying to rain on everyone else's parade but I've got some words over the DCxDP situation going on. Saw a post earlier about it and made me wanna say my part on this as an enjoyer of both!

So first thing first, this isn't an attack on either fandom or the people who enjoy them! I, myself, like to indulge in these kinda of cross overs time to time! It's fun, it's self indulgent, it's just a good time and way to explore things! Especially considering one is a much more whacky, fun cartoon and the other is a massive multi genre comic book series (and specifically referring to the abundance of Batman however, as that's one of the largest contributors) so you can play with themes to be as wild or angsty or creative as we all want em to be. That's totally fine!

What isn't fine (and I honestly feel like I'm hitting a nest of wasps here saying this) is how crossovers are almost exclusively all that I can see and feel like is being written. And that's on me, obviously, for writing my own story how I wanna enjoy my fandom. Not blaming anyone for it! It just feels and I'm not entirely sure but guessing there are more Crossover fics, than there are Separate fics, like, comparatively. And when the numbers are skewed like that, I feel like that just shows that this Crossover side had developed into its own large subgroup that warrants it's own space. With its own label. Because, at least from a write and reader's perspective from one side- the Danny Phantom tag on AO3 isn't just Danny phantom anymore. And that's a problem when you have to filter out every fandom and tag relating to an entirely separate fandom from it's own tag instead of being able to just ignore and skip past or just exclude the one fandom tag and be done with it.

If I have to exclude every character from the batfam just to read through the DP tag, plus the batman tag, plus any other sperate comic tag added, it just discourages people who want to see only one or the other. At least, I feel like it does? And again, hope this doesn't come off as 'whiny singular dp writer who doesn't have as many views as the crossovers do is just big mad' but again, from my perspective as a writer, it honestly does feel a little like I'm being shunned or kicked out of my own space which has been repurposed for someone else. I hope that isn't unfair to say.

At the end of the day, I just want people to start considering tagging DPxDC as it's own separate subfandom because the numbers are just to skewed that normally tagging both fandoms is actually more of a detriment than the normal courtesy in fanfic culture. I honestly don't feel like these fics should be tagged as either, because it's just such a big thing that, doesn't it really need to fall back on it's forefathers for recognition? To be 'hey! I'm using these two fandoms just so you know!' as it would be for other fics of a similar nature?

Perhaps, I'm simply starting a tantrum where there is no actual issue and overreacting. But I really don't feel like it is if I've seen a few grumblings about it myself? But yeah, listen to me or don't. I just needed to say something. I do like these fics myself, but even I have to admit I don't exactly like to eat rocky road ice cream all the time, but someone keeps mixing nuts to all the desserts at the dessert table, even when I asked to keep some of the food to be nut free. I want just want to be able to enjoy my chocolate without having to double check it.

#danny phantom #dc #batfam #dp x dc #dc x dp crossover #fandom spaces #fandom issue #ao3 tags #blue speaks #not attacking anyone with this nor endorsing anyone to use this to attack others #fanfic is supposed to be fun and wish fulfilment and creative!#but i do feel like this is smth thag should be talked about more #and this is strictly from a DP fan perspective not a DC person #who i know have to deal w similar issues w MLB and White Collar #or even BNHA #this is just what happenes to extremely large fandoms #anyways this mostly started bc my sibling who isn't really a fandom person wanted to reblog dp fanart and enjoy gifs n stuff #cause were rewatching the show #and she was disappointed and annoyed with all the dc stuff just taking over the entire tag on tumblr #which while u can block stuff its rather unfortunate that u have to block #so many other characters n fandoms not even relating to the one u wanna enjoy JUST to be able to look are art n stuff in its own tag #esp if you are not a fan of the other fandom from her perspective #feels like it should be its own thing tbh #again! these fanfics are great! and enjoyable!! i def follow some on ao3 myself!!#dont kill me for this #please

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feverinfeveroutfic · 3 months

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the skeleton key | chapter one: jigsaw pieces

now this is a fic that’s been sitting in my repertoire for years, almost decade now. it was one of those things i just kept visualizing every now and again, and yet i never had the chops (or the courage for that matter) to come out with it. i thought about bringing it to life in late 2017, when i was offline, but i had other things happening. i tried resurrecting it in summer 2019, and then again during quarantine, to the point i had actually written down the first chapter, but then now it’s dark came along and i couldn’t resist that one and thus, i shelved it for two years (and summer of quarantine, as we all know, was… that). i tried it again in november 2021, but then almost immediately, i thought of dead man walking so i had to put it aside a third time. i just didn’t know what to do with it, like i had the story inside me, but i never knew who was featured in it.

hopefully, fourth time is a charm.

i like to say that my testament fics are the stories i’ve always wanted to write (and they are), but this unquestionably is that.

“I've got about five minutes left on my shift—could you wait a bit for me as I clean up?”

It had been a long day at the bakery and my feet were in utter agony and I had a headache from looking at price tags all day long. I knew I was going to have to go to the show smelling of fresh bread out of the oven as well as vanilla, but it was more than worth it in my eyes. If nothing else, we could possibly go to the show and meet up with those guys backstage by some random as hell chance. Marcy had come to the bakery to pick me up, all bright eyed and bushy tailed no less, and I was more than eager to clock out and head on over to the House of Blues to go and see Metal Allegiance.

She had suggested I make a drawing for those guys, and yet I needed the money to buy it all first. If nothing else, I could find myself in the odd chance that I struck up something with them in the meantime and I could do something down the line.

I was the artist, after all. The artist with the bakery at her helm.

I could do both if I so wished.

“You should whip up some brownies or something really quick,” she suggested to me as I tucked the cookie sheets under the display case. At least I didn't have to put up any day olds right then.

“Well, we're going to have to meet them first,” I told her as I switched off the light in the case; she blinked a few times and showed me a smile. She continued to smile with the little chai symbol around her neck. “You know how these things usually go at shows now.”

“Oh, yeah,” she said with a nod and a tucking of a curled lock of hair behind her ear.

It was my second concert after quarantine had ended: I had seen Eddie Vedder the year before not too far from there over at the Greek Theatre, and all the while, I was keeping my distance from people with that thick, heavy mask over my face. But I still managed to enjoy myself.

This was also going to be my very first metal show, as I usually frequented the alternative side of things: Marcy was the metalhead and she was the one taking me as a treat of sorts for being a good friend.

I took off my apron and hung it up on the rung in the next room, where I washed my hands. I glanced up at the clock which read two fifteen.

“What time does the show start?” I called out to her over the rush of the water.

“Eight o'clock,” she replied.

“Oh, we've got hours upon hours of time,” I assured her, and then I stopped in my tracks. “Is there a reason why you picked me up so early, besides the traffic obviously?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Oh, you know.”

“I don't know,” I said as I dried off my hands. I doubled back to the front room of the bakery, and I treated her to a chuckle. “Don't tell me—”

“Don't tell you what, Al?”

“You know. All your little suggestions and the fact that I had been tiptoeing my way around it all. I know what this is.”

“Do you now?” She raised her eyebrows at me and treated me to that little cherubic smile. “Oh, Marcy Playground, what do I do with you.”

“Marcy Playground and Alison Chains, that's how we do,” she quipped. I signed myself out and switched off the light: some day, when I have my own bakery, I'll open the door at eight in the morning and close at dinner time, and I'll have an art gallery next door that'll be open until ten o'clock at night. A dream of mine, and yet it felt so out of reach.

“When do you get paid?” she asked me as we strode outside to her car: it was a cold day there near the beach, colder than either of us had been acquainted with, but the sun greeted us with a good day that day. Marcy adjusted her jacket to hide her pendant, even though we were the sole ones on the street at that moment.

“Tomorrow,” I replied. “Fridays, remember? Why?”

“Do you have money?” she asked as she unlocked the doors for us.

“Yes, of course. Again, why?”

“I'll explain in a bit.” We climbed into the car and she drove me out of Pleasant Valley Village, all the way up towards Ventura Boulevard. She drove me over to Ventura, right to the center of town: I was amazed that she had remembered the way there, given she hailed all the way from New York City and I was the California girl. But we reached the parking lot there, and she took the spot dead center of it all so we could look on at the art store there as it overlooked the beach itself. I leaned back in the seat with my head tilted back and my mouth agape.

“Marcy...” I groaned.

“You should!” she insisted. “You should totally draw them something. If you can't bake them something, you should at the very least draw them something instead. Remember? We talked about all of this?”

“Yeah, it was just a one time thing, too,” I recalled to her. “I also remember going to see Alice in Chains before the pandemic and I knew right away that I wasn't going to reach Jerry from where I was sitting. Like I said, Marce, the chances of it happening are so far out there, that it almost feels pointless to even think of doing it.”

“Was it pointless to make the drawing of Jerry?” she asked me, to which I paused for a moment.

“No. If anything, that was one of the drawings I was most proud of.” I paused again as I thought back to that big bright psychedelic drawing that I had made for Jerry, of him with Chris and also Lars. I still had it stashed away in the back of my desk drawer to keep it safe. “Yeah, that drawing was one of the highlights of that summer. The summer before quarantine.”

“Okay, now... do you think it's pointless to even try it out?”

I stopped again, that time with my thoughts going into making those artworks. I couldn't bake something, even with as much as I wanted to, but I could share art. I had to keep it with me at all times until I found a chance, and up to that point, I had often heard and read of stories of fans going to meet people like them, and it seemed to happen like a jigsaw puzzle falling into place. It had happened to me as well, but it was lightning in a bottle, though, and it always was with everyone else who had a story like that.

I had my doubts and my questions, but somehow, even through it all, I still held out a tiny ray of hope.

“Okay, well...” I began again, “before I go in there and spend the rest of my money on art supplies, what do you think I should I draw?”

“The four of them,” she insisted. “Mark, Alex, Dave, and Mike. You've got four hours, and I've watched you draw in a shorter amount of time, Al. You can do it.”

“You want me to go in there and get some paper and nice markers, and work on something here in the car?”

“Yes! Yes, you should!”

I pursed my lips. “I really don't know, Marce. I mean, like I said, we talked about this a few months back when they announced the ten year anniversary show. When I met Chris, it was such a one in million occurance that I really don't think anything like that could happen again.”

“Okay, but what if I helped you remember your thought process back then, though?” she asked me as she leaned in closer to me with her elbow rested upon the center console. “Do you remember what you were thinking back then before you made that painting? And also, before you made that drawing of Jerry?” I paused for a second: I sat there in a brief moment of disbelief that my meeting Chris had been nearly a decade ago at that point, a decade since I had gotten face to face with Chris. But I remembered it all, though. I still pictured it on the back of my mind as if it had just happened.

“Do it anyways,” I recalled in a low voice. “Because you never know.”

“You never know, exactly,” she assured me. I sighed through my nose and peered out the window to those front doors. We were down the parking lot from them, but I swore I could see my own reflection there.

I hoisted my purse off the floor from next to my feet, and I climbed out to the gray afternoon sunshine.

I closed the door behind me and strode up towards those big glass front doors. My mind fell blank from that point forward as I was guided by nothing more than my own heart. I never spent all of my money on the nice paper and that little set of alcohol markers as well as a new pencil, and it never registered in my mind until I found myself in the parking lot once again with Marcy next to me.

Four A3 sized sheets of paper for the drawings. I had their likenesses stuck inside of my mind. We had the ocean at our backs and the sun over us, and I let her watch me all the way until I was finished with all four of them.

It was days like that when I missed him. I was going to a show and yet, I knew in my heart that there was no way I could see him again. It was all too real when I saw Eddie, and more so at that very moment. I was going to a show, and I knew I was going to have him with me the entire time as well.

Once I had completed the drawings, I leaned back in the seat and signed them on the backs.

The one of Alex, a scene of him walking on the beach with the sunrise behind him, stuck out to me, because I never put so much thought into that one, that is until I took a good long look at him there with his shoulder length hair and the fact that I remembered his being a bit on the soft side, even while long and thin.

Almost like Chris.

Mark meanwhile reminded me of another ghost from the past, one that had slipped through my fingers without my realizing it until it was too late. Mike brought me back to another moment in time, one that I wished to forget, and Dave reminded me of someone who had fallen somewhere around the same time Chris had gone away as well.

They all reminded me of someone whom I used to know, and I never realized it until I signed my name on the back of the drawing of Alex. I sat there in silence with my hands rested upon my lap, whereby Marcy leaned into my face again.

“Are you okay?” she asked me in a low voice.

“Yeah,” I duly replied. “At least, I think I am.”

She raised her hand and turned the key, and we saw the time displayed on the dashboard. Three hours before we could even go into the venue, but we had to move things along to beat the evening rush hour. This was something that I definitely did not want to miss out on, even if it meant digging up some memories.

#the skeleton key #the skeleton key fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #metal allegiance #grunge #grunge fanfiction #heavy metal fanfic #chapter 1 #fic writing #writing #also on ao3 #text

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