#obviously you can’t put celebrities on a pedestal but you get it

[tariah23]

I’m sorry but I’m never getting over Kendrick mentioning Drake’s cats name in the diss track bro.

#what the fuck 😭 #rambling #I’m done talking about the most of it online because white people and nbs have left a bad taste in my mouth regarding it I feel like #whenever any black shit or art goes viral we have to have the same conversations about how our art is also valid and I just- it’s over with #but my sister and I have been 🧠 in #I’m just glad that more people have gotten comfortable enough to start publicly calling out predators by name #regardless of what sorts of repercussions it’ll have for their careers #especially someone who’s as huge as Kendrick man #that really means something #he’d have to reevaluate the people he works with in the future tho regardless of their legacies (Dr dre…. Kodak black…. and recently #posting a vid of xxxtentation of him eluding to the fact that Drake had him assaulted) #but I could care less about xxx since he’s an abuser as well so what would’ve been the point of calling attention to drake being a creep #towards little girls for over a decade if he’s still willing to work with a convicted rapist y’know? #I’ll always be a Kendrick fan regardless he does show that he cares a ton about our culture and black people and the sacrifices that we #have to make in order to survive and so on… he’s always seemed like a positive guy #obviously you can’t put celebrities on a pedestal but you get it #he’s that guy #I always look forward to whenever he drops any music because I know that it’s going to be amazing and that he actually cares about what he #puts out into the world #he’s not a numbers guy either he just seems to put out what he personally likes and what’s dear to him and it’s always nice to see artists #put their soul into their work #and make themselves vulnerable enough to share with the rest of the world #he doesn’t that all of the time man

[xavsgirl]

Stone cold heart

Pairing:Tyler Galpin x outcast reader

Plot:you’re good at making boys fall for you,but what if for once you fall for someone?

Contains:anger,some fluff

Warnings:swearing words

Author’s notes:no hate for the festivity mentioned it’s just a reference to the show

Masterlist

Thanksgiving:the most boring and stupid festivity Nevermore had ever celebrated.

The hypocrisy hidden behind the garlands and the concert was bigger than principal Weems’ ego,which obviously got on your nervs.

“What’s your duty today?” Kent asked you

“Pilgrim village,but I’m skipping it”

“What do you mean you’re skipping it?”

“I mean that I’m doing that,Kent”

“Yeah but like..how? I mean it’s not like you will go unnoticed”

“Do you really think anyone will pay attention to me? All the students are busy with their stupid jobs and principal Weems has to kiss the mayor’s ass,I’ll surely go unnoticed. I’ll just hide somewhere”

“If they find out,you’ll get expelled”

“Can’t wait to get out of this awful school anyway” you scoffed,leaving the boy.

Nevermore simply disgusted you:students were all so excited to attend classes together and meet their friends while you just wanted to spit on everyone’s face.

The school was trash,the people even worse:but how could you find decent classmates when you were surrounded by idiots that put on a pedestal Bianca Barclay,Wednesday Addams or Enid Sinclair? Embarrassing,you wanted to throw up.

Those girls had nothing:the first was a blowhard,the second a future serial killer and the third a dumb wolf who couldn’t even howl. Ridiculous.

You huffled,opening the door of Jericho café.

It was warm inside,and empty:the perfect place in which to spend the next few hours before finding a new hideout.

The only problem was Xavier working there for the day,but you knew he would have never said a word,he was wrapped around your finger since you dated him.

Well,to be honest date was quite an euphemism:you had a thing with him just to humiliate Bianca.

Everyone in the school had their eyes on them:

“They’re so cute”

“What a nice couple”

“I want what they have”

Bullshit. Barclay wanted to show off she was the artist’s muse, the only one slightly in love was Thorpe but those feelings disappeared the second you got closer to him.

You had an important quality:get people the right way. That was it.

Oh and also,fake it till you make it,or just fake it in general.

Thorpe’s ideal type was quite different from the person you were:he had this weakness for sweet,pretty girls so you didn’t really know how he could had fallen in love with Bianca,she was just a bitch.

Anyway,you started getting to him with cute smiles and nice words,then you started being around him during classes,during lunch,and when he actually trusted you,you dropped the bomb:

“Is it true that Bianca uses her power over you? Oh no wait,if she does you wouldn’t know…” you cringed so bad at the stupidity you had to put in those words,but it worked as Xavier’s eyes changed their light.

“What do you mean?” he asked

“I’ve heard Yoko saying that”

“What the fuck?”

“I swear,she was in the hallway talking to Kent,she said that Bianca was working well with her power on you”

That was it,all it had taken you to make Thorpe go mad and break up with Barclay. Fun part? You weren’t lying.

Barclay and Thorpe were just another one of the many illusions which used to hide the hypocrisy of Nevermore.

A few weeks later,after wasting all your precious time trying to cheer the boy up,he finally declared his feelings to you and the rumour spread.

You dated for around a month,the perfect time to get everyone’s eyes on you and enjoy people whispering any time Bianca walked past. They all knew what she had done,you “unintentionally” told Enid, who uploaded a post about it on her blog.

Once you couldn’t stand Xavier’s corny attitude anymore you broke up with him,putting on a dumb show in which you played the sorry girlfriend who fell out of love and ditched him.

The dude was stubborn tho,he tried to get back to you many times,but you had a new job to complete:Enid’s fallen.

You started from stealing Ajax,who had been her crush for a while. Dating him was even harder than dating Xavier.

Xavier was corny,yes,but Petropolus,damn it,he was an explosion of flowers and rainbows,the perfect partner for Sinclair…if only you weren’t around.

You grabbed the mask of the good girl,threw it in the trash can,and put on the one of the dumb fairy. What a pain,but it worked.

In a few days Ajax barely knew who Enid was,which obviously hurt her,but the cherry on the top of the cake was the secret Petropolus told you.

No one actually knew that Enid had never fully turned into a werewolf,all she could do was make her claws appear and…they were the colour of her nail polish.

When the boy had told you,you had to avoid burst into a loud laugh so you just carried on with your plan.

You opened a parallel blog to the one Enid’s managed,and wrote a very long and detailed post about the little werewolf not being a real werewolf.

All you had left to do was enjoying the students laughing at her in the yard,in the classes and even in the lunch room.

Another secret had been revealed.

So funny,less funny was breaking up with Ajax as he was another stubborn guy and tried to get you back multiple times,fighting with Xavier.

You were so proud of your job,there was just one more person left:Wednesday Addams,how could you destroy her? Well it wasn’t like she wasn’t already doing that on her own,but she was still a quite popular girl no matter the controversies,she even had a bunch of loyal friends.

You were busy thinking about a new plan when it showed up right in front of you:

“How may I help you?l Tyler Galpin asked with a notepad in his hand and a smile on his lips.

You didn’t really considered that normie,you knew Addams probably had a crush on him,and him on Addams,Kent had told you,but you had rarely seen him around so he was a kind of faded imagine in a corner of your mind.

“An espresso,no sugar thanks”

“You like it bitter”

“Just like human’s existence on this planet”

“Okay…” Tyler furrowed his eyebrows and walked towards the kitchen.

You looked at him:maybe this one was easier to get,he had a crush on Wednesday which was a total psychopath,he may had liked a plotter bitch.

A few minutes later the brunette came back with your coffee,and put it on the table,right in front of you

“There you go. Hopefully this coffee will make your existence less bitter” he joked

“I don’t think so. I believe to Leopardi when he said that nature is an evil stepmother”

“Leopardi seems like a funny guy”

“He actually isn’t”

“Maybe he should try one of my coffees”

“Deaths can’t drink coffee,Tyler”

The boy looked at you confused

“How do you know my name? I have never seen you around”

“I’m from Nevermore,you’re a well known name in between the students”

“Oh,exciting. I hope they have nice words for me”

“Nothing is nice in there”

“I don’t believe you”

“You’ve never been in that school”

“But I know the students,they’re sweet people”

You laughed

“Even koalas seems sweet,but they can send you to the hospital”

“You’re pretty intimidating” Tyler giggled

“Oh,I can be” you said,and drank your coffee while the boy welcomed a new person inside the café.

A few days later you were back,sitting at the same table as before, and it went on for many many weeks until you became an abitual customer and Tyler’s friend.

The boy slowly started opening up with you:he told you about Wednesday,the way he couldn’t understand her feelings and some more irrilevant stuff,including stories from his childhood.

“Of course you don’t understand her feelings,she has none” you replied once he went on the Wednesday topic for the millionth time

“No,she has,she just doesn’t show them”

“Yes,of course. It’s like saying that a serial killer is sorry for his victims but kills them anyway”

“Why would you bring that up?”

“Because Addam’s gonna be a serial killer one day”

“You should become one too,then”

“Excuse me?” you scoffed,Tyler laughed

“You two are way more similar than what you think”

“No”

“Yes. Y’all are pessimistic,misanthrope and have the same intimidating aura” Tyler pointed out

“It’s not enough to say that we’re similar”

“It is”

“No. She’s a freak”

“You too are a freak Y/n,you’re an outcast”

“Being an outcast doesn’t mean being a freak”

“Okay,sorry. But you two are similar,you can’t change my mind”

“I’m prettier” you spit out,Tyler laughed again

“Egocentrism is another point you two have in common. Y’all would be best friends”

At those words you couldn’t keep up with the conversation no more:you stood up and hit the table with a fist

“I would never be her best friend! Never! I have nothing to share with a crazy attention seeker! I hate her! And I hate every single student of Nevermore! I want the whole school to burn down so don’t you fucking dare to compare me to any of those hypocritical assholes!” you yelled,everybody in the café turned to look at you,so Tyler grabbed your wrist and lead you to the bathroom.

“Are you mad?” he asked locking you two inside the toilet

“You started it”

“And then Wednesday is the psychopath…”

“Don’t mention her! Stop it!” you were about to yell again

“Okay,okay. May I ask you why you hate her so much? And why you hate Nevermore so much?”

“Nothing is true in there. People act like friends and then talk behind their backs,love is based on magic powers and all they care about is the appearance. They all want to be popular because the real world has always treated them like trash,and they can’t accept it. You know what,Tyler? Maybe I was wrong when I said that outcasts aren’t freaks,we are freaks,we just try to not show it. We all wear masks,I did that too” you said,and walked out from the bathroom as you wanted to go back to school.

A few days later you were laying on your bed:it was past midnight but for some reason you couldn’t sleep,so you grabbed your phone.

You had just turned it on when it rang,a text had just come in:it was Tyler’s.

You furrowed your eyebrows,confused,but checked the text anyway

“Up for a night ride? :)”

“If you really want,yes”

“I do. See you in 10 mins x”

You got dressed up and when Tyler texted you that he was outside Nevermore, you sneaked out and got in his car.

“Hello” he greeted you with a smile

“What brings you here,Galpin?”

“I wanted to see you”

“I know,I’m hard to forget”

“That’s funny because you actually are. I keep thinking about the words you told me in toilet”

“I was just mad”

“You were,but I feel like you are also frustrated”

“If I wanted to talk with a therapist I would’ve asked Mrs. Kinbott” you growled

“Okay,okay I’m sorry. As an apology take the package on the backseats”

At those words you turned your head,noticing a small rectangular present. You took it and opened it.

“A compilation of Leopardi’s poems?” you were surprised:boys used to gift you with dumb stuff like flowers,chocolate and stuffed animals,no one had ever given you such a nice gif,only Tyler.

“This is for what?” you demanded

“To make your life less bitter” he joked,this time you laughed with him.

“If I tell you the other poets I like will you gift me with all their books?” you asked,browsing the pages

“I will”

“There are plenty of them”

“I bet I’ll find all their books in limited editions”

“Sure…” you rolled your eyes,looking outside the window:you couldn’t see much besides the shape of the trees and the shiny stars

“Where are we going?” you asked

“It’s a surprise”

“Is this a date or something?”

“It depends on your perspective:do you want it to be a date or not?”

“Who knows” you shrugged your shoulders

“You’re hard to get,aren’t you?”

“It depends”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want the true me or the one of your dreams? A few boys got the girl of their dreams but not me”

“Do you talk by riddles Y/n?”

You laughed “Confusing people is my favourite hobby”

“I’ve noticed-Tyler stopped the car-here we are” he said.

You got down,realising that the boy had brought you in a beautiful clearing in which you could see the stars.

“I am not kissing you under the midnight sky Galpin,I don’t like romantic movies”

“Keep the kiss for the next time,I just wanted to show you this place. It’s pretty”

“Do you bring here all the girls you like?”

“Who knows”

“I bet you brought here Addams but she didn’t like it”

“You’re wrong on this one:Addams never came here”

“But you invited her”

“I didn’t. I haven’t seen her in a while to be honest”

“Interesting”

The silence filled the air for a second,then Tyler talked again

“Tell me about the poets you mentioned earlier”

“What?”

“Tell me about them”

“Well I like Baudelaire,Blake,Foscolo,Hugo and the Maudits poets”

“That’s our literature,not the outcast’s. You studied at a school for normies,didn’t you?” Tyler was determined to know you,the true you,which kind of caught you off guard.

When you had decided to get his heart in order to steal him from Addams you expected his type to be quite similar to the person you were,but he didn’t stopped at what you showed him,he wanted to go deeper. He wanted to know you for what you really were.

“It’s none of your business” you scoffed

“So that’s how you play? You don’t show your true self to collect the boys you want”

“Excuse me?”

“Okay let’s stop this game. During the Pilgrims Day Xavier told me about the things you did”

“Galpin let me give you an advice:stay away from Y/n. She plots and plays”

“What do you mean Thorpe?”

“She uses people and then ditches them. She’s the reason why everyone knows Bianca’s and Enid’s business. She’s a good actress:all smiles and sweet eyes,but behind those…she’s a devil.

“When we started getting closer I’ve realised that you wanted something from me,but what? You didn’t know me,it was impossible that you wanted to expose me in some ways,like you did with your classmates,then I realised. You knew Wednesday had a crush on me,she was your target. There must have been a way in which you got to Barclay,it was Thorpe,while for Sinclair it must have been Petropolus. I was your way to Addams. Xavier told me about “smiles and sweet eyes” but you just showed me coldness and cynicism,I thought it was because you knew I had a crush on Wednesday,everyone knew about us,so you just tried to be like her. You weren’t trying tho,were you? This is a part of the true you,the one you wanted to show me to get to my heart. The point is that you fucked a few things up so I ended up proving to myself that I had traced a really accurate profile of you”

“Screw me-you smirked,Tyler was smart-may I ask you when I fucked up?”

“Well,the words you said in the toilet,then your riddles about the girl of everyone’s dream and your true self. Xavier was right:you do play with people to make other people sink,and you do it so well. That’s sick,that’s the plotting of a villain”

“It’s checkmate for you Galpin,congrats”

“I want a reward” he said,reducing the space between you two.

Your noses were close,your eyes chained together:invisible discharging flying in the air.

“What do you want?” you demanded

“Two things. First one:the truth. Tell me everything I don’t know about you. Every single thing. I’m sure there’s more on why you hate Nevermore students so much”

“Isn’t hypocrisy a more than valid reason? Nevermore is just a huge lie,a way to humanise creatures that have nothing human besides the appearance. I was a normie once,I loved my old school,and classes,literature in particular,and I had many friends. Then one day my powers showed up and my parents rejected me,sending me to that shitty school with a shitty hierarchy in which who lies the most becomes king or queen faster. I am not the villain of the story,they are,I am just the ones who’s uncovering the truth”

Tyler grabbed your chin,smirking “Keep on talking”

You hit his hand,which fell along his body “I’ve started with Bianca,moved to Enid,now I’m taking care of Wednesday,then I’m gonna move on to my next victim. They will all fall one after another. I’ve never been the popular girl at Nevermore,never wanted to be,but I’ve always wanted to be the Truth”

“Does being the Truth implies lying and manipulating people Y/n?”

“If you want to expose a liar you have to play by his rules”

Tyler laughed “You’re a psycho,you will become a serial killer, not Wednesday”

“What’s the second thing you want,Galpin?”

The boy shrugged his shoulders and scratched the back oh his head,then he grabbed you by the arms and pushed you against the trunk of a near tree.

“A kiss” he whispered in the twilight,clashing your lips together.

The kiss was rough and passionate,it sent shivers along your spine. Maybe that time it was different,maybe you did play with Tyler,but Tyler played with you and,at the end of the manche,both of you lost,or won,depending on the perspective from which you were looking.

The boy fell in love with you,but,for once,you did the same,and maybe,it wasn’t that bad:you knew Tyler hid many surprises behind those deer eyes,you could feel it,you had always felt it.

Just like you,and anyone else,he was wearing a mask.

“Now you tell me the truth” you broke the kiss

“What truth?” he played dumb

“The one which only you know”

Tyler smirked,stepping back,his hands slid in the pockets of his brown leather jacket

“Do you know Lauren Gates?” he demanded,his eyes shining of a strange light born from the dark depths of his soul

“No”

“Then let me introduce you to her,she will help you burning Nevermore down…exactly as you wished” he smirked,and with that your dreams would’ve turned into reality.

#tyler galpin #tyler galpin x you #tyler galpin x reader #tyler galpin x y/n #tyler galpin imagine #tyler galpin fanfic #wednesday #jenna ortega

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble

Post-Canon Headcanon: Reunite

(Listen, it’s pre-slash because I say so, but you can def read this as just very good friends)

So imagine you get an invite to a high school post-grad graduation celebration—they never got around to it after the worst of the Covid wave subsided, and now for some reason administrators seem to think people *want* to return to their high school days. Imagine you were just an average student back in the day who knew about this weird situation everyone talked about where the one intimidating hooligan kid who can’t pass classes has spent years cruelly attacking the highest achieving student in the grade, a frail-looking little nerd who everyone puts on a pedestal.

Now imagine you go to the reunion, you’re putting on a nametag and avoiding that prick from your history class, and suddenly the hooligan and the nerd walk in together, followed by the hooligan’s two old friends (one of whom is now a beauty YouTuber??) and they get the room’s attention.

Cao Guangyan is pink-cheeked but seems healthy and not with Pu Yiyong under duress (people still come over to not-so-subtly check). Yiyong seems his usual glaring and bored self, wandering around looking at the decorations probably casing the joint. They settle at a table near you. You observe.

Everyone who approaches Guangyan gets the exact same polite greeting from him and a withering stare from Yiyong. Word has it Yiyong has been in TWO comas over the years, likely due to his dangerous lifestyle. Some speculate medical student Guangyan is with him to ensure he doesn’t collapse post-coma—so sweet of him to volunteer, even if he’s planning to go into something weird like forensic medicine (probably for noble reasons). Everyone knows how things were between them at school.

But they aren’t fighting or glaring at each other, they’re sitting close together at the same table, casually stealing each other’s dessert and poring over what looks like a bloodstained manuscript Guangyan pulled out of his bag—which, obviously, it can’t be. The two other friends chatter familiarly with the pair, and often over their heads, which are bent close together reading something in that weird book.

The table’s members only get up twice—once to get more food (you spot Guangyan extracting three chicken wings from Yiyong’s coat pocket and pointedly placing them into a pastel pink Tupperware dish), and once for Guangyan to get an award (so deserving, it looks like a flower they pinned to his suit jacket for being Mr. Congeniality?), for which Yiyong very rudely doesn’t bother to clap, just smirks a little when Guangyan shuffles back to the table red-faced amidst thunderous applause. Their two other friends wander out soon after—calling out something about an upload schedule—and so it’s just them, they’re just sitting together, still talking. And you, watching because look, the reunion is boring and this is not, okay, you pay attention like you never did in school.

Something about their dynamic oddly reminds you of your parents quietly drinking coffee together the morning after a bad sickness in the family. That’s not to say the talk isn’t animated—you notice a squabble early on over what sounds like Yiyong saying “can I not get one day without the fucking ghosts”, followed by Guangyan’s sulky muttering for five minutes straight before they return to reading the book. It’s strange but Yiyong doesn’t seem very threatening right now. He takes some of Guangyan’s drink, which is further confirmation of his criminal lifestyle, but that’s it.

They leave together with a full bag (how much Tupperware did they bring??), and it’s probably a trick of the disco ball light overhead, but it almost looks like Guangyan has taken off his award flower and pinned it to Yiyong’s hoodie.

#whomst #oh no! here comes trouble

[wahbegan]

Like do i like J.K. Rowling’s political views? I don’t know well enough because i can’t be arsed to look them all up. I know she’s a staunch supporter of women’s rights which is good and again anti-Scottish Independence and i think(?) generally conservative which is bad, but like...not gonna assign her moral value based on that.

But is she a good person? Would i go to the pub with her? Idk, i don’t know her. She’s not my friend, she’s an author. And it’s not really fucking relevant, is it? Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your perspective, whether you want to admit it or not, she’s a god damned talented writer. She’s incredibly funny. 

My sister, a few years back, got me Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them....the book, obviously, not the shithouse movie, and her imagination and wit comes through even in these tiny lil snippets of lore about made-up animals, it’s delightful. Harry Potter was a magnificent achievement in children’s literature. Pack it in, you silly bastards every single day on Planet Hell a male creative has a shithouse take and goes completely unpunished for it, 

it’s not the fucking apocalypse because J.K. Rowling made a tweet voicing her support for a woman who tweeted in support of legally recognizing sex differences and sex-segregated spaces (which is a much more nuanced issue than a lot of you have been led to believe, i’m afraid)

And let this be a lesson to you, by the way. This shit wouldn’t be happening....well, number one if she had a cock, but number two if you didn’t put her on such a high pedestal in the first place. Christ, stop doing that to celebrities. And people in your lives, too, bit of unwarranted personal advice. Don’t idolize people. Horrible situation to put them in. Because eventually they’ll fail to live up to the image of them you made up in your head without their consent, and then you’ll act like it’s their fault and then you’ll start acting like a fucking psycho about it and that’s how we get this shitshow with J.K. Rowling

[transbian-technoblade]

TL;DR: CCs are people. They should not be the face of your activism. Stop trying to make them into that. You are actively fucking over actual minorities and social movements and cheapening the value of allyship by doing so.

See, twitter is obsessed with this idea that as long as you say the right things, you’re an unpromblematic king whom we stan. But if you say the wrong things, you’re the spawn of hell and you must secretly hate all minorities and want them dead. On the face of it this is very obviously performative activism. It’s specifically what I like to call “trans rights!” politics. See, the whole “can you say trans rights” meme originated with people poking fun at someone who earnestly said (paraphrased) “I would be so happy if Joe Biden just said “Trans rights!”” Of course leaving out the part where Biden actually does anything to give trans people human rights. They would say things like “I would be so happy if Markiplier just said trans rights”, as if that would constitute actual support for trans people. And people started using that meme seriously as a way to gauge whether or not someone is transphobic. I get wanting to feel validated and safe by your favorite CC, but you can’t just expect them saying a thing that’s incredibly easy to say and the barest possible minimum for allyship and just take it at face value. And this is where the deeper problem comes in, something that many young activists, especially on twitter, have forgotten:

It was never about intent.

Lets use Donald Trump as an extreme example. So let’s say that everything Trump has ever said on tv was a lie. Deep down, he knows that systemic oppression exists and must be dismantled and has some amount of sympathy for minorities. But as soon as he goes on television he lies about his beliefs saying that racism is actually good and other such bullshit. It doesn’t matter whether or not he believes what he’s saying. The material reality is that he’s inspired people who truly do hold those beliefs to be more comfortable expressing them, both verbally and physically. He has caused material harm to people of color, regardless of whether he believes what he says or not. Racism is not a thing that people are, it’s a system which all white people take part in, knowing or not.

When a CC messes up and says or does the wrong thing, yes, it doesn’t matter if it was just a mistake, but it also doesn’t matter if that makes them secretly evil within their heart or whatever. What matters is that they can be educated, learn from their mistakes, and have the room to grow, because it means that other people who aren’t CCs will be given that opportunity too. Because here’s what could be considered an uncomfortable truth about CCs — they are not the same as celebrities. They do not have PR teams or damage control. They don’t get a script to read off of that tells them exactly how they’re supposed to vapidly apologize in order to make the bad publicity go away. They aren’t household names who have a huge influence over what people do or think. They don’t do what they do because it makes them rich and famous. Yeah some of them get lucky like that and god knows why. But they are performing a job by entertaining people regardless of the size of their audience, they’re not running for president. And yeah they can have pretty sizable platforms (although their demographics tend not to be the most diverse because they’re located primarily online). But listen. As a trans woman of color myself, the idea that someone like Dream or TommyInnit or Whitey McStreamerMan should be the face of modern/online activism is fucking insane. DONT. PUT. CONTENT CREATORS. ON. THESE. PEDESTALS. If you want to be a good ally to political minorities, DONT LOOK TO PRIVILEGED ASS ENTERTAINERS AS DEMONSTRATIONS OF GOOD ALLYSHIP. ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THE EXPERTS — TRANS PEOPLE AND PEOPLE OF COLOR. CCs are in the process of learning just as much as you are, probably more so in a lot of cases. But the only reason why you care so much is because they are doing their jobs. Quit acting like just because they’re well known on the internet that they’re not allowed to make mistakes and say the wrong things and get overwhelmed. You know you’ve been there before. None of us get to claim purity. There’s a reason systemic oppression is called systemic.

#trump mention #trump TW #Donald trump TW #twitter discourse #spectrum speaks #dreamwastaken #tommyinnit #mcyt #racism tw #transphobia tw

[acetarisborn]

Happy (delayed) international asexuality day!!!

I haven't written (and posted) in a while and one of my most popular posts is the one about me simping for Asmo from Obey Me while being ace so... what better day to post this than yesterday!! But I fell asleep so now...

The brothers falling in love with an asexual MC

This is my first time writing one of these so it may end up feeling more like fanfiction than headcacons lol.

Asmo

The second you saw this gorgeous charming man it was love at first sight, and he felt the same way

Although you might have felt a little intimidated when you found out he's the avatar of lust. You might even think you have no chance!

But oh boy are you wrong

This man adores every aspect of you. From your gorgeous body to your breath-taking personality and he knows you love him as well.

The surprise in his eyes when he finds out you don't like him only for his looks is priceless

He can't help but blush brightly every time you give him the slightest of compliments, which sometimes turn into ankward laughs if he adds a sexual advance at the end

You try everything to let him know without telling him. Wear the ring, make several ace jokes and even wear the damn flag pattern on your clothes, to a point that the entirety of RAD but Asmo knows you're ace

But to be fair he might not even know what asexual means

He lets you know his feelings in a BIG way, something very intricate and romantic like a huge banner with help of the bros or plans a situation where you two end up dating

When you tell him you're asexual he's shocked to say the least

Not all humans enjoy sex?! Truly the newest concept he's ever heard

He does get sad at first, realizing he won't be able to experience that pleasure he's been fantazising about, but once he thinks about how out of all the beings in the Devildom you fell in love with the demon of Lust himself he bursts in laughter

He stops abruptly once he realizes why you look scared or sad because of his laugh and explains himself immediatley

If you tell him you understand if he doesn't want you he turns serious and grabs your hand

"Mc, you are the most gorgeous, kind-hearted and amazing person I've ever met, I didn't fell in love with how you are in bed or anything about sex! I fell in love with everything that makes you, you. I would never leave you over something so... so ridiculous! No matter how much I enjoy it!"

Once you guys start dating he showers you with gifts and fancy stuff (mostly skincare products)

He starts being super cautious about what he does or says, but eventually loosens up after the thounsand time you told him to do so

He also loves kissing you all over your face (if it's okay with you). On the lips, nose, cheeks or your forehead

All because he wants to remind you every day how precious you are in his eyes and that he loves you no matter what

Beel

You can't tell me you guys didn't fell in love that time you shared a room, you knew at the spot but this certified himbo is very oblivious

"Im hung-" He never gets to finish this sentence again because you always have a snack or food to offer him

Of course this is what starts his liking to you.

He doesn't realizes at first but it's the little things like what draws him in

He always wants to seat next to you at lunch and just talk for hours, he blushes at the sight of your smile or his eyes light up every time he sees you walk by

He begs you to cook for him no matter how many times you already do or say you're terrible. If you make him a bento this will make his whole week

Once he realizes his feelings he plans to tell you, not knowing you were planning on telling him you're ace and doing the same

"That's cool but um...whats an ace?"

Once you explain it to him he's a little surprised but nothing too extreme, he understands and didn't paid mind to sex anyway, he's happy he got to know beforehand.

"Oh, that sounds like you, good to know, specially now, because..."

He stops hiding a big box of chocolates and opens it, the chocolates spelling "Will you be my partner?"

If you ask him if he's okay he nods almost agressively, which ends up in you tackling him in a hug

Once you start dating he's ready to provide bear hugs and cuddles, he's the cuddliest demon in the Devildom

"Hey, I found this food/thing with the ace flag colors, thought you might like it"

He asks you to help him cook whenever he's hungry. Doesn't matter if it's the greatest culinary piece ever or an absolute disaster, he's happy he gets to spend time with you.

Levi

Okay but that overflowing PASSION when he rambles on about TSL, that fire in his eyes, *chef kiss* you can't help but stare dreamily at him

"watcha looking at normie?" He asks while blushing madly at the way you kept looking at him

The first time he finally accepted he's in love is when you dragged him to your room to watch a new anime, he realized you were a total weeb just like him (And I know you are because why else would you be here?)

Since then you have anime nights at least once a month with all the snacks you can get in your bed or couch

He obviously loves playing any kind of videogame with you, he doesn't like some of the ones you do but plays them anyways just to see you celebrate once you've won

Dragging you to conventions is a given, he spends weeks making you the perfect couples cosplay, staying all night muttering about how yours needs to be perfect

Since most of his brothers don't care/like or are too busy for his ramblings about a new game or anime he goes to your room very often. He's happy you're always there for him.

But IS HE JEALOUS

If he sees anyone flirting with you in the slightest of ways he'll go into overprotective mode. In a bad day this means as much as asking you for a pencil in class

We all know he puts you in a bit too high of a pedestal compared to him, but it's because he loves you and tries his best to gain confidence once you tell him how wonderful he is.

"They're so cool Henry! They are so nice to me and so pretty. I don't deserve them but do I want to try!!"

Since he's too shy and introverted none of you have asked the other out yet, but you decide to trust him and come out to him first.

"Oh yeah, I know plenty of asexual characters, I know what it is. That's great! You have my whole support!" This one takes you off guard

He talks about how he kinda suspected it but never said a word in fear that it could offend you.

This was enough for you to jump in and tell him your feelings.

To say he's blushing is an understatement. His whole body is red

"I like you to...But a-are you sure? You're just so pretty an- and amazing and I-I'm just a yucky otaku... Not that all otakus are yucky! You're not! Oh crap, I'm so sorry."

You snap him out of his rambling with a hug or a kiss, telling him how much you love him no matter how he belittles himself, because he's already perfect.

He tackles you in a hug out of excitement and says he loves you too

He has no problem with sex at all once your relationship starts, he wasn't having any to begin with and never thought of the idea of you guys doing it, so it's pretty much the same.

He tries his best to make bentos for you or use any romantic tecnique he has ever seen in romance animes

Instead of overprotective mode he now brags about his amazing partner to everyone he can.

"Mc, we should cosplay these characters! This one's ace!"

He'll do anything for you to feel safe and welcome in his arms no matter your sexuality.

Satan

This lovable bookworm fell in love later than anyone (except Belphegor) did, in the train murder mystery.

At first he thought it was mere admiration, but then why was his heart beating so fast?

Don't get me wrong, he's outraged. He hates that he's not paying attention to class to write poems, being distracted from his books because his mind wonders off thinking of you, and he despises that every time you bring him a cup of tea or flash a smile his face turns bright red in front of his brothers.

Eventually he has no choice but to ask Asmo and he is overjoyed. He offers himself as a wingman many times and Satan declines every single one

He doesn't tell you about this willingly, Asmo creates some devious situation where he ends up needing to confess his feelings.

He has never felt so relieved that the time you said you liked him too

He finally shows you some of his poetry (at least the less cringey ones) all of them talking about your outer and inner beauty in a way that almost moves you to tears

Everyone is surprised by how frequently one of the scariest demons out there lets himself get hugged by you at any given time, even if he's busy he always has time for you.

Also cats. Plushies, bags, clothes, anything with a cat on it you gift it to eachother

You eventually gather courage, enter his room and talk to him, thinking that maybe him being so distracted reading would soften the news

But he just nods mindlessly

"Satan? Did you hear me? I'm asexual" You take his book annoyed but the answer leaves you in shock

"Yeah, I know! can I go back to my book now?"

Turns out you were being painfully obvious and Satan is too smart not to notice.

"So... you're okay with it?"

"What in the world made you think I wasn't?"

He closes his book and you two have a long talk about how he accepts you and loves you for who you are over some tea

Mammon

He has always been in love with you as you have with him, what else is there to say?

Mammon melts at the slightest of touches and compassion you show him

He's so happy every time he's with you because you actually treat him like his brothers should

He loves them but they aren't the kindest towards him, so there's nothing better than hearing from you how much he's worth

He repeatedly asks you for money or pulls out some pranks but suddenly stops. How weird? Could it be that he feels bad for making you feel any kind of sad?

You have to stop him from saying he's your first several times, thankfully it eventually works

He tells you how great you are in a way he isn't directly telling you? But you can just know

"Hey, hu-I mean Mc! You're...the less annoying person in this place...Thanks for that" Yes, that was him trying to compliment you

As your bond becomes stronger he starts to loosen up to you. Leaving you gifts or flowers at your door with a smile on his face.

"Lucifer took my dear goldie for a week because of this but ya know... it's worth it."

When you actually accepted to go to the biggest casino in the Devildom he considered it as your first date.

You spend the hole night seeing him win and loose money, even pulling you in to have fun as well

You two take a break exhausted at a fountain. Mammon sees his chance and goes in slowly for a kiss

"Wait, Mammon. If we're actually going to...date, there's something you have to know."

"You're the most outstanding human, what the hell, the most outstanding being in the three worlds I've ever met in my eternity, Mc! What makes you think I'd leave someone as breathtaking as you over wether or not you wanna have sex?!"

"For some people it's a big dealbreaker..."

"Well, not for the Great Mammon! Only an idiot would let you go because of your sexuality. And no matter what they all say, I'm no idiot"

You end the night holding hands and going back to the House of Lamentation, ready to start this beautiful romance.

Lucifer

Ok. First things first. Everyone can agree Lucifer is (or seems) even hornier than Asmo, so this is gonna get...complicated. But we'll get into that

He sure seems the least likely to actually show the vulnerability of being in love, but gosh did you made your way into his heart

It was a long and diffecult journey to get him to like you, but he eventually got a liking to you the more you guys spent time together

You were able to make him loosen up as well.

Dragging him to anywhere you loved instead of being sat down with mountains of paperwork

Always waking him up after he fell asleep in his desk with a blanket, a hot cocoa (Coffee if the work needs to be done by the next day) and even a kiss on the cheek if he's lucky

By the time the whole Belphie situation was defused he was finally able to show his true intentions

He's a fairly elegant person, so when he tries to make an advance, he does it with style

This means all kinds of fancy places once he's off from work with the most romantic of views. Every day you feel like being swept over by a true gentleman

I'm pretty sure he'd have you as his partner by now, maybe he never officially asked but you both imply you're a couple at this point.

But as I said it, he has his whole...punishing thing......

It's exactly because he starts crossing the line with one if these why you just had to stop him and tell the truth

He gets shocked and slowly start fitting the puzzle pieces in place

"Well, this is unexpected. Wait. Have I... made you feel uncomfortable around me all this time?"

Once you nod he falls in his bed ashamed

"My deepest apologies, my love. I truly hope you forgive my reckless words. I must know, are you not feeling safe in this relationship?"

You explain how wrong that asumption is, telling him how every day with him is incredible, but showed your discomfort at some of the things he says

He was relieved he hadn't crossed the line yet and was never going to let himself cross it.

"I am so glad you shared this information with me, I promise to make this relationship the most romantic experience of your life"

He stays up all night researching everything ablout being ace, he gives you gifts related to this, finds out your love language and does what it is every day, he does every romantic thing you can think of and he even asks you to go to a pride in the human world!

He's willing to do all he can in order for you to feel loved in any way you want

Belphegor

Well, he did tried to kill you, so I'm pretty sure his betrayal hurt if you helped him for love

He knows you're at least a little scared of him and he knows he needs to apologize, but never finds the time because you always seem wary of him

He tries by leaving a note in your desk that says "I'm so sorry for what I did. Thank you for bringing our family back together"

This is the first smile he gets out of you as you look at him

This escalates to him passing notes whenever he's not asleep. In class, the table at dinner, outside while hanging out with you and Beel, anywhere. This happens so often you end up always having a pen in hand to answer.

It goes until one of you decides to speak, you start talking and become best friends in no time

Although Belphie seems too possesive for his feelings to be just friendship

Honey, if you thought Levi was bad he's nothing compared to Belphie

He uses every excuse to get you away from anyone that possibly flirts with you. It's either that or his death glare burning them for several minutes until they run or apologize

He always wants to be with you, even if he's sleeping he feels the lack of your prescence

This is why he always tries to convince you to take naps with him, snuggling with you is the best part of his day

If you're more of a night owl he'll do his best to stay awake and look at the stars with you in the planetarium. Sometimes falling asleep in your shoulders "on accident" wink wink

He mumbled about you in his sleep and that's how you found out and ended up dating

The relationship is pretty much the same with more kisses and hand holding, along with him convincing you to skip class sometimes just to sleep

Also plushies, a lot of them, all of them

You decide to tell him one day while snuggling beneath the stars. Being sure enough that he'll understand, although the nerves are still there

"Okay... so?"

You express your worries and he stands up looking almost menacingly but his words killed the scary mood

"Are you dumb? How did you think someone like me would even worry about that?"

"I'm not Asmo, beds are for sleeping. Come on, lets steal that cake Lucifer saved in the fridge, I heard it's sort of an inside joke between us."

After this he keeps asking you about the whole asexual spectrum, thinking he might be part of it. He's shows true interest at every question you answer and tries to use this new information for future dates.

All and all it's very relaxing to date someone like him, who surprisingly has a very loving and understanding heart behind what people are used to see.

#asexual #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me satan #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me belphegor #asexual mc #obey me #international asexuality day #obey me shall we date #obey me asmodeus #ace pride #ace

[mcheang]

When Lila is exposed, everyone gets mad at Adrien & asks why he didn’t help Marinette. Adrien replies, “Bc Mari is strong & amazing there’s nothing she can’t handle her life is perfect there’s no way she’d get akumatized, & Lila’s obviously weak and emotionally unstable, she lies all the time bc she’s unhappy with herself, she’s clearly insecure & feels she’s not good enough, so I felt sorry for her.” Basically he tells the whole class that Marinette is a super woman & Lila is a train wreck, that Marinette has everything a girl could want & all Lila has is her petty lies. Mari doesn’t know whether to be offended or honored by his putting her up on a pedestal, & Lila now wants to murder him.

Let me at him!

This is a draft because I have no idea how to end it

It was a rare collaboration of the bee and fox working together to expose Lila.

Bustier was too used to letting Chloé do her own thing and so let her interrupt her class with an impromptu PowerPoint presentation full of interviews Alya had scored.

When the video was done, ending with a recommendation that everyone apologized to Marinette, Alya asks Adrien why he didn’t expose Lila himself?

This enragés the class but Chloé isn’t happy with him either. He had let her be lied to by that harpy. What kind of friend does that?

Adrien defends himself. Apparently, to him, Lila is a rich lonely girl who wanted to impress their already impressive class. But because she had nothing impressive to brag about, her travels notwithstanding, she had to make stuff up. Who was he to expose her for being average? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But Lila is just so sensitive that she is like akuma bait.

Lila, preciously recoiling against her seat in fear, is now glaring daggers at Adrien. Pretty boy say what?

Alya: oh, so raising our hopes and letting them fall to pieces, as well as letting Marinette’s reputation be slandered isn’t akuma worthy!

Adrien: you all have talent to get by, you would have moved on and tried again. And Marinette is our Everyday Ladybug, she can’t be akumatized.

Marinette was torn about that. While it was flattering that he thought her to be akuma immune, she wasn’t and she needs support too.

Alix: she’s human, you idiot! Not a robot, but a human girl who has feelings.

Markov: ahem!

Alix: Sorry, Markov. She is not made of stone, Agreste!

Adrien: and yet no matter how much Chloé bullies her, how many times she worries, she has never once been akumatized. She even comes out the most successful of us with her business and school reputation.

Chloé: Adrien, (wow...no Adrikins), let me put it this way. You are our Everyday sunshine child. How would you feel if everyone left you alone to deal with your father. You have no friends left and you have to deal with a lot of pressure. But everyone doesn’t care because you are the sunshine boy of Paris, and Hawkmoth has never targeted you before?

Adrien: what a horrible scenario. That will never happen.

Ivan: it might happen with your attitude.

Rose: you left Marinette alone to deal with the potential scenario. Even if she is good at resisting akumas, she would have felt lonely. You of all people should understand that!

Adrien: but you didn’t abandon her, did you? This way no one in class would be left alone. But if I had exposed Lila, then she would be friendless. I mean, sure she would eventually move to another country, but to be friendless for any period of time is just sad.

Lila: better to be friendless than to be friends with the likes of you! One word, Agreste: tact!

Nino sighs: Dude, you are so clueless.

Kim: and not a very reliable friend.

Pretty much everyone but Adrien agrees on that.

Adrien: but-!

Alya: I vote we let Adrien have a taste of his own medicine and ignore him when he is being taken advantage of. Because frankly, he still doesn’t get it!

Chloé: first hand experience would do the trick, but we are trying to avoid an akuma.

Alya: as said before, he’s akuma résistant. He’ll be fine.

Adrien: but-

Lunch bell rings and the class exits, leaving Adrien alone to go home and Ms Bustier watching the show.

Ms Bustier: you should learn from this Adrien.

Adrien: but what did I do wrong?

Don’t worry. Adrien wasn’t alone. Wayhem filled in Nino’s position. Unfortunately Wayhem’s présence also included other fans of Adrien. It was an uncomfortable time for Adrien to be treated like a celebrity rather than a friend. He felt lonely.

But once the fans got used to Adrien and found hanging out with him kind of crowded and really not worth the mileage since Adrien would only be there for a half hour at best. They moved on.

Adrien was disappointed but already knew they were fans, not friends. But when would his real friends talk to him again?

Ironically it was Gabriel who pointed out that his son was wrong for enabling a liar and putting all that pressure on Marinette. He only noticed once Nathalie reported Adrien’s declining popularity.

Adrien had an innocent mind but he hated disappointing his father and promised to do better. He apologized to his class and promised he learned his lesson to always expose lies and never to leave them to face hardships alone.

The class was doubtful he really understood the lesson but why not give him a second chance?

#miraculous ladybug fanfic #miraculous ladybug fic #ml fanfic #ml fanfiction #ml fic #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #Adrien salt #lila busted #lila is exposed #lila gets exposed #ml salt fic

[liam-93-productions]

Liam’s full interview with Tings Magazine - Part 2

Note: the interview was recorded in may 2020. 

You had the support system of Harry, Louis, Niall and Zayn during your teen years. When that support system stopped, having to deal with it by yourself, did that seem like a harder loss than it did leading up to that? It felt more like an identity crisis because that was like your crutch almost, being a part of the band. It got to the point where it was almost invincible. But that kind of got let go. I had serious questions about whether I wanted to be a solo artist. My thing was if the right song came then I wil, then obviously “Strip That Down” came along and I couldn’t really say no.  It’s a bit crazy, especially being released on such a pedestal. You don’t want to undo your legacy for what you set for yourself because you achieve so much so quickly. It’s kind of funny. I was playing poker the other day for a charity. Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul and a couple of big Hollywood celebrities at this one table and me, which was the most random thing ever. They were like, “I’ve got questions that I like to ask people at the poker table. What was your first job?” Everyone was like I was a paperboy, or I was that, and I was like my first job was One Direction. And Bryan Cranston was like “You can’t really go anywhere from there. You’ve set yourself a hard task.” And I thought it was really funny, but it’s so true. One Direction was such a massive thing and I think we were all just existing since One Direction and in a sense, the hype of the comeback is the thing that’s kept us bubbling along. For sure, from that start, it was this massive identity crisis, you were a part of this unit and you knew how you fit in the unit. You knew the part that you played and as soon as that was gone, you couldn’t play the same role and carry on that way because the other units weren’t there to put it all together if that makes sense. So, you really had to try to discover who you were but in the public eye. That was stressful. 

How was that process for you, other than being stressful? How did you go about doing that? Really badly (laughs). 

Not at all. I disagree with that. You are very much different now than you were then. And you’ve grown into who you are now in a really amazing way. Was part of this identity something that was brewing during your time at One Direction. I feel like you hear Zayn do interviews and he’s been very clear about feeling different than how he’s been projected in One Direction and the identity that he’s become now. Was that the same case for you? Or was it more of a discovery process where you had no idea who you were when you left? Oh no, it was a complete discovery process. I mean if you look as simple as clothes. We were told what to wear at the start. It was like having four twin sisters. It was like ‘you can’t wear that’, ‘I’m wearing this’. So, we each got our thing. Mine was like plaid shirts. And for two years of my life, I just wore plaid shirts because that was my thing. Then we came out of that and went into this black phase where we all wore black t-shirts and black jeans or white t-shirts and black jeans. And when you come out of it and you don’t have to wear black t-shirts and jeans anymore, I was like, ‘what the hell do I wear?’ I went through a complete transition of clothes and different things. And that is only one element of your life, your appearance, what you look like.  For other things, for humor, you only experience the same humor for five years, around the same people. Then that changes. You meet other people. And we become more into the P.C. generation of things and it was like “we can’t say this anymore. We can’t do that”. And that was like another thing. As you try to develop, you make several mistakes. I went through the gangster rap phase. And it is the same with music as well. At first, it was like all the chains and rap, it was like escape the boyband scenario for me. 

The Miley Cyrus effect. The Disney to bad girl effect.  Exactly, I wanted to escape and identify myself differently. And I kind of pushed that to as many limitsas it could go to. Ever since then, as you get older, you realize that time is a wonderful thing. Instead of being on a race to be a certain someone because all your role models are so far ahead of you because they are already there, but they didn’t start there. For me, when I got into acting and doing auditions most recently, I started looking at actors that I love. Brad Pitt is one of my favorite, favorite people, you know, who’s transitioned to being the most amazing person, who has his own identity. I was thinking, how did he do it? So, I watched an interview of him at twenty-six. You have to watch it. He barely answers a question in the interview, you can’t believe it’s the Brad Pitt you see now. 

That’s thirty years of media training in between. Exactly! And this was when he did his first role. I already had my first role, being in One Direction, so I’m even further on than he was at my age. I don’t have to worry so much now I just have to have trust in the process of whatever life is, I know this sounds a little bit around about the house, but I just think you have to take a back seat and move steadily into things.  When you are a kid, you are in such a rush. You’re like I want it now. I want to be this guy. When I did my Hugo thing, it was all about muscles and training, and I was looking at Mark Wahlberg. And Mark Wahlberg is freakin’ Mark Wahlberg! It’s a taken him years and years to be Mark Wahlberg. It’s just where you set your sights for your role models, I guess. It’s the little thing that it has to come now and that’s what pop stardom is like, because you need it right now because you are already in it. I’m not waiting to come up, I’m already in it. 

Quick and constant. There’s this constant need to feed the system or you’re out of the system. Yeah, and it’s easier for artists nowadays. If you look at NSYNC, after they broke up, it was like, unfortunately, nobody really cared about what J.C. and the other boys were doing. So, they didn’t get the articles. Now, it’s like you are your own charge in that. You can be the front page of so-and-so if you really want to be. You just have to do the right thing on your channel. So, it’s like being able to be in charge of that stuff helps artists a lot more these days. But once again, that’s pressure because we are all in charge of our press and media from our phones. Whereas, they would have to go into work and have someone lay our the interviews or they wouldn’t get them. So, I suppose it’s a different type of pressure really. 

Yeah, and it’s a different landscape. They would have it laid out for them, and those interviews would last months and months, where today it’s like one day. Then it’s swipe up, swipe left, and onto the next thing. The lifespan of what we put out is so much shorter.  That’s the ting. I had TikTok out yesterday and I haven’t really invested a lot of time into something. But I made this really stupid song about cookies that went with my video. I literally just made this fun song in my house and we were like “Screw it” let’s make a music video for it. We did like one of those Lonely Island type videos and put it out. It’s one of the pieces of content that I cared about the most because I made the whole song and whatever. It was fun, and I wanted people to enjoy it the same way I did.  But even when you post something like that, I see some people where it just goes completely over their heads, that this is just a fun thing to look at. It doens’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean that my next album is going to be about freakin’ cookies or whatever. I think we’ve lost some of the lightheartedness, having to take ourselves so seriously all the time. It doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s like, you can view the average time that someone looked at a post, so it’s that cutthroat. If they stayed on for five seconds or whatever, the average time should be the full time and if it’s not, the post was bad. You have that power now, but it’s in seconds. Even the average time someone came on to look at it, it’s down to the seconds. 

You brought up the hype of a reunion and relevancy and keeping that alive. That interest. Where does that stand? There’s a lot of conflicting articles about a One Direction reunion. What can you say or not say, what’s the official word? To be honest with you, I keep mixing up the words reunion and anniversary. Our anniversary is coming up; it’s ten years that we created the band which is amazing. It’s a huge achievement for all of us. Every so often, I’ll accidentally say reunion and I’ll be like “oh my Dog, that conflicts another report.” I’ve been really clear that there’s not a reunion, just because I know music schedules. Harry just put out a music video and that’s got two years in it before we even think about a reunion. And I just don’t think everyone’s done yet. I think everyone’s enjoying their time, making their own workm that little bit of freedom. Um, and One direction is not exactly a side career that you can have. It requires you to be fully in it. Until we can all stop and commit to the band for whatever reason, I don’t think it can come back. I think there will be a reunion and I’m excited about it and I think it’s be a lot of fun. It will be interesting to see if we have the same essence that we had as kids. 

Essence meaning synergy on stage or camaraderie? I think a little bit of both. I mean One Direction was such a free time, and people enjoyed the fact that it was five lads on a stage having a good time. They didn’t care if we sang in tune or if we fell over. That’s what the show was about. It was chaotic. We’ve all become these more polished popstars. I don’t know if we have the same carefreeness about us, is what I’m worries about. But it’s been nice we’ve all been talking, staying in touch. It’s the first time that everyone’s spoken in the last five years. It’s just nice that everyone’s grown into being nice people. There’s none of them that I really hate. Everyone’s grown up into nice young men who just gone on a bit further from where you left them. 

Who are you closest to? Do you speak to any of them regularly? We have a big respect for each other. And I don’t think we give each other enough credit for how we’ve helped each other as well. I speak more to Louis and Niall than I do anybody else. I speak to Harry on occasion. I think we don’t have very much in common as people. There’s nothing wrong with us. We just don’t have as much in common. And Zayn, sadly, has fallen completely by the ... which is terrible. I feel for him sometimes, but at the same point, he made his decision on that. And it’s not something you can go back to lightly. If I saw him on the street, would I say hello? 100 percent. It doesn’t bother me, intrusively. I’ve already spoken about his great news. Having been through it myself, ... it’s interesting. I just think it’s a lonely scenario to be in, not being able to speak to the other people that helped you get to where you are. 

If you were to guess, or maybe you already know, would you see that reunion including Zayn or is that over and done with? I think it’s over and done with, for the time being. You can never fully discount it because you had the Robbie Williams Take That scenario. I remember watching that concert when I was in the band. It was so interesting that they were in a band, he left and had all the success he had, and came back. He had his own section of the show which I thought was interesting. They weren’t down in the dumps. They had some of the biggest hits in Britain. I don’t think you can fully discount it. I know for now it’s not possible. I think, for now, it would take certain people to admit wrong in a scenario and I don’t see that happening because they don’t even realize it yet. That’s a little further down the line. 

If a reunion happens, how do you think you would envision that creatively? Everyone has such different formed identities.  I actually think that we’ve picked up on that already, not knowing what is about to happen next. I remember from the tour screens from the very last tour. The introduction with the songs showed us on video doing different things. It set us apart ever so slightly. But I feel like if we came back together, it would be a celebration of what One Direction was, what is now, and each of the members. I think the tour screens would Harry is a completely different aesthetic that I was. I just think the band’s name is completely ironic because everyone has gone in opposite directions. Maybe, that’s the point of the name. I don’t know. Yeah, I just think it would fit back together quite seamlessly, for completely different reasons. 

#liam payne #liam's interviews #tings magazine #05.11.2020

[jalapeno-princess]

Catching Feelings

(Look at him doing the bare minimum and still making me fling my panties across the room Damn you Im Jaebeom)

Jaebeom X Reader

Word Count: 20K (Guys this is the longest fic I have ever posted on here wtffff)(I just couldn’t stop writing omg)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut (Sugar, spice and everything nice)

Summary: You’ve been in love with your best friend Jaebeom for longer than you can count on both your hands. Unfortunately, time never seemed to be on your side. Every time he was single, you were in a relationship and when he started seeing someone, you were by yourself. One day, he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend in order to make his ex-girlfriend jealous but little do either of you know that the few days of fake dating will actually lead to something you would have never expected in your many years of knowing him for.

A/N: Hey guys! This was requested by the amazing @solarblooms​ one of the sweetest people I’ve met on here thank you so much for this request I’m sorry if it didn’t turn out the way you would have liked but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Happy reading!!

“Jaebeom, you can’t be serious. I don’t think you know what you’re asking me right now.”

“You’re acting as if I’m asking you to run a marathon y/n.” 

You let out a scoff before getting up and reaching for both coffee cups that you and Jaebeom drank from in the last hour. When he asked you for a favor, you didn’t think much of it. The older boy always asked you to do errands for him every now and then and as the caring and loyal person you were, you would do whatever he’d ask of you with no hesitation. 

Honestly, Jaebeom was the only person you would go out of your way to help; not only because he was your best friend, but because you knew he would do the same thing for you in a heartbeat. That was just how your friendship worked. The two of you have been friends for more years than you could count on both hands. This meant that you’ve seen each other through it all; drunken stupors, food poisoning, flu season, walking in on each other naked and failed relationships. The latter was the reason why you were both upset yet flustered at his sudden request. 

“I would rather complete the damn 24 mile run. Let me get this straight, you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend in order to make Ella jealous? You’ve said a lot of stupid shit in all my years of knowing you but this has to be the most insane thing I’ve ever heard. Why me? Why not just get another girlfriend—she’ll know somethings up right off the bat. Do you really think she’s stupid enough to believe that you and I would actually start dating? You’re better off telling her that you’re in a relationship with a celebrity; that would be more probable.” 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to help him out—especially because you weren’t the biggest fan of his ex-girlfriend. Jaebeom in more or less words had to be one of the most devastatingly handsome men you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. He also had one of the biggest and most genuine hearts—even if he’d come off as cold and intimidating. People say nobody’s perfect; and it was true that he did have his faults, but he also came pretty close to being practically flawless in your eyes. 

The reason why you were so hesitant towards helping him with this specific favor, was because you had feelings for him—and that was an understatement. You don’t remember exactly when you first began looking at Jaebeom in a different light, but when you started to crave his presence more and more, mentally outline his sharp features, found yourself daydreaming about what it would be like to kiss those pretty, plump lips of his; that’s when you knew that you no longer saw him as an older brother. 

You and Jaebeom met in second grade when he transferred over to your school after his family moved to your small town in order to open up their first coffee shop. He was very shy and extremely introverted. For the first two weeks since his arrival, he never really talked to any of the other students unless his teacher asked him to do so. 

At recess and at lunch, he normally sat by himself and the sight always made you feel sad. You didn’t have all that many friends, but you had enough to converse with and to keep you company. One day, you found yourself walking over to where he was sitting and placed your tray right down in front of him. You’ll never forget the way he looked up at you with the most adorable gaze of confusion. 

“Hi. I’m y/n. Is it okay if I sit here? You look pretty lonely.”

“Oh—um—go ahead.” 

The rest of your lunch time together was very quiet—he obviously didn’t seem like the type to want to start a conversation, especially with someone he wasn’t familiar with. You also didn’t know what to say to him; you didn’t want to make things even more awkward by saying something he didn’t particularly like. However, you felt at ease—the atmosphere was calming and for some reason, you felt it had to do with his presence. 

Something about Jaebeom made you feel pleasant; safe. When the bell rang to signal that lunch was over, you were right about to stand up in attempts to throw away your lunch until you heard the faintest call of your name. You turned around to look at the mysterious boy and hummed in curiosity. 

“This was nice—I um—I’m not the most talkative person. I’m more of a listener. If it’s okay with you, would you maybe want to—be friends?” 

You gave him a toothy grin before nodding profusely; excited with the idea of getting to know him and being the first person he wanted to start a friendship with. 

“I’d like that.” 

From that day on, the two of you were attached to the hip; your mothers would refer to the both of you as magnets. Everywhere you went, anyone could expect the older boy to be right there with you. He was more than just your best friend—he was your safety blanket, your confidant—in a metaphorical sense, he was like your umbrella on a rainy day. 

His arms were your shelter, you would find solace in him whenever you were having a rough day. You felt in your heart that the two of you were soulmates; even if your relationship was strictly platonic. It wasn’t until he got his first girlfriend back in your freshman year of high school did you realize that you saw him as more than just a friend. 

Watching him act so sweetly towards his girlfriend made you extremely jealous and you lied to yourself for years thinking it was because you were afraid to lose him as a friend if his girlfriends decided that they didn’t like your position in his life. You also tried to tell yourself it was because you had yet to experience being in a relationship and you just wanted to feel the love and adoration Jaebeom never failed to show to his first girlfriend. 

Even after all these years, through the few boyfriends and one night stands that you’ve had, your feelings for Jaebeom never faltered. If anything, they only grew stronger when you realized that nobody could ever make you as happy or make you feel as cared for as Jaebeom has for almost two decades now. Nobody could ever take his place—no matter how hard you tried to get over him. Your best friend had a reputation of being a textbook fuckboy. 

His first relationship was the last relationship he put his heart and soul in to. Every relationship after that was doomed before it could really even start. He had a bad tendency of leading a lot of girls on; completing them and making empty promises before taking what he wanted—fulfilling his carnal urges and leaving them in the dust. This went on throughout the entirety of high school. As his best friend and the only girl he seemingly put on a pedestal, you had a hard time understanding why he continued to fool around with half of the student body and treat a lot of these girls like they were nothing important. 

What did he get from cheating on and breaking the hearts of all these poor innocent girls? Especially since he was so kind and soft towards you. He’s never said it to you out loud, but you were his biggest weakness. He would go through hell and back just to keep that beautiful smile he adored so much permanently on your face. There were times where you questioned the thought of him reciprocating your same feelings. Whenever a guy showed interest in you or even when you started seeing someone, he was very verbal about how he didn’t approve of anyone you were involved with; whether the relationship was romantic or not. 

Even when you were paired up with other guys in projects, he wasn’t too fond of the idea of you being alone with your classmate—so he’d find himself tagging along with you and your partner whenever you’d meet up with them. You were sure it was just his way of being protective of you; he’s always been like that and you were well aware that he had no intention on stopping his overbearing ways at all for that matter. You were afraid that pretending to be his girlfriend would only make you desire actually experiencing the real thing. 

There was no way you’d allow yourself to go through that kind of trauma; holding hands with him, going on dates with him—maybe even getting to kiss him. To what extent was he expecting the two of you to go through? How far did he expect you both to go? He must have thought about the kind of pda you would have to do together and you couldn’t help but grow curious at how he felt about being intimate with you, even if it was all just an act. 

You released a frustrated sigh; if you said no, you knew he would continue bothering you until you finally gave in or worse—he would actually go along with finding someone else. Whatever your decision was, you’d lose both ways. Might as well go with the one that was less painful. 

“What’s in it for me?” 

He was quick to stand up and made his way towards you—sporting the biggest grin on his face. You could tell he was surprised at your question, but it didn’t matter. His smile did tug on your heartstrings and you began to feel something in the pit of your stomach that you’ve never felt before. It was hard to tell exactly what you were feeling, but it was a good feeling. He surprised you by picking you up in a hug and swinging you around absentmindedly. 

“Anything—I’ll do anything you want me to. God, y/n, you are amazing. You don’t understand how much this means to me. You’re the best person to exist. Thank you so much!” 

He explained to you that one of his good friends from high school; one you weren’t all too familiar with was getting married. Unfortunately, his ex-girlfriend was also going to be in attendance. She was the first girl in four years that your best friend genuinely seemed to care about. He stopped hooking up with and talking to other girls once they started dating. You were jealous whenever you’d hear him go in to depth about the love he had for her; even more envious when you’d have to see them kiss in front of you. 

Sure, you did not particularly care for any of Jaebeom’s partners because you wanted to be in their place. You craved—desired to be the girl who got to love him—who got to receive his love and appreciate the many sacrifices he would make in order to make his significant happy. As his best friend, he never failed to give you all of his attention. If you ever needed help, he didn’t even have time for a second thought, if you needed him, he was there. 

Even if it meant ditching school or leaving work early. You had a feeling that no one in their right minds; no matter how close they were to someone or how much that person meant to them, would do the things for them the way Jaebeom never once hesitated to do for you. However, your distaste for Ella went beyond jealousy. There was no doubt Jaebeom cared for her in ways that he’s never cared about any other girl—well, besides you. He would pick her up and drop her off to and from work, he would call her on his breaks to make sure she was getting enough rest in between classes, he would buy her cute little trinkets and even prepared lunch for her. 

You’ve never seen him put in so much effort for one of his girlfriends before and it honestly worried you; you felt as if there was a chance she might be the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Unbeknownst to both you and the older boy, Jaebeom had actually met his match. Memories of the night that he found out she wasn’t the perfect girl he thought she was came flashing through your mind like it was just yesterday. 

Four months ago, you were out in your living room watching a few murder mystery documentaries—seconds away from falling asleep when you heard a loud pounding on your door. At first, the sound startled you. The only people who came over to your apartment were your parents, your siblings, Jaebeom and a few other friends. You knew your best friend had a graveyard shift tonight; so you crossed him off of your list as to who it could be. However, when you looked through the peephole, you could’ve sworn your heart actually sank to the bottom of your stomach. You wasted no time in opening the door and pulled Jaebeom in to your embrace before either of you could say anything to one another. His eyes were red and puffy; there were dried tears on his cheek quickly being replaced by many more fresh ones. 

From past experiences, you knew not to ask him what was wrong. You were going to wait until he told you, even if you were very curious as to what could have happened. It didn’t even cross your mind that it had to do with his relationship. The two of you flopped on to your couch and he quickly threw himself in to your arms. He might have been the dominant one who always did the protecting, but this time—he was the one who needed to be held and that’s exactly what you did. 

After half an hour of quiet sobs and rubbing his back as he heaved and hiccuped, he finally confessed as to what made him so upset. He didn’t have to really say anything—just hearing the words “Ella cheated on me” sent you in to a furious rage. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t see this coming. There were a couple of scenarios when you felt like something was wrong, or that she was hiding something. When Jaebeom first introduced you to one another, you immediately got bad vibes from her. She was the type of person who talked so highly about herself. You never understood what your best friend saw in her. 

Sure, she was pretty, but it was a basic kind of pretty. Like, if you were to see her on the street, you honestly wouldn’t do a double take. Ella was also very disrespectful; she was constantly on her phone while you tried to talk to her, she never said please or thank you and she was very verbal about her disinterest in certain things. One time, Jaebeom had you tag along with them to a restaurant and she complained about not being served within the first couple of minutes. 

That experience alone made your ill-feelings towards her grow even stronger; but you never wanted to tell Jaebeom in fear of him disagreeing with you. It was adamant that he really liked her. When it were just you and Jaebeom alone, he would find ways to bring her up in the conversation even if the topic had nothing to do with her and on the days that you just so happened to be with them, he would always feel the need to touch her or to compliment her. It was disgusting—but not because you were jealous. 

You had a gut feeling that she wasn’t who she portrayed herself out to be in front of Jaebeom. If he were to excuse himself to use the bathroom, her fake smile would immediately drop as she would glare at you. Then, she would always seem to be texting someone. There wasn’t anything wrong with her being in contact with other people; for all you assumed, it could have been a friend or a family member. 

However, the way she would bite her lip or smile while rapidly typing back and forth with someone made it evident that there was a possibility it was another guy. You let it go though, even if you were dying to tell Jaebeom of your speculations. He told you that he caught her making out with another man outside of her apartment as he went over to surprise her. Jaebeom wasn’t a pushover or the type of person to beat around the bush; he confronted her as soon as he parked the car and screamed at her—telling her that she ruined everything and that he would have done anything for her. 

There was nothing you hated more than to see Jaebeom so emotional and broken; especially because he was the definition of a force to be reckoned with. This was the first time in your many years of friendship that you e seen him so worked up before. That memory of seeing him at his weakest is what got you to give in to him. You didn’t think it was going to work; although you had a feeling Ella didn’t like you from the moment you met her, you didn’t think it was because she was jealous of you. 

It was understandable though; you may have been very understanding, but you didn’t know how it would feel to be in her shoes. If your boyfriend had a female best friend, it was only natural that you would feel weird and assume the worst. But Jaebeom was honest with every girl that he fooled around with; you were his number one girl no matter what. He even ended a couple of flings specifically because the girls would give him an ultimatum to choose between seeing them and being friends with you. Of course, Jaebeom chose you every single time. 

“There will be four events we have to attend. The first two are just luncheons, then there’s the rehearsal dinner and the actual wedding. I’ve already purchased all of my outfits. Since you’re helping me out, you and I can go shopping tomorrow and I’ll buy you anything from anywhere—I mean, don’t go crazy. I just paid off my car. But if you have a couple of dresses you already own that you’d prefer wearing, then that’s pretty cool too. I was thinking we could match so it would be a little more convincing. Oh—and um—we’re going to have to be affectionate. I’m sure you’re already aware of that. If it makes you uncomfortable, then we don’t have to do anything other than hold hands and hug. Not anything we’re not used to anyways.” 

You could only hope your cheeks weren’t flushing with pink from his words. It was expected that you’d have to have some form of skin ship and like he said, the two of you were used to touching one another. Sometimes you’d cuddle up while lying in bed together or he would wrap his arms around your waist and place his chin on your shoulder but it never occurred to you that you would now have to do these things in front of other people.

“I’m fine with that. So, when exactly is the wedding?” He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment; something you’ve noticed he would do whenever he did something wrong or had something to hide. You’ve known each other for so long that you knew the meaning behind each and every one of his mannerisms. 

“Uh—Next week Saturday.” 

Your eyes widened in shock; that didn’t give you much time to prepare anything. Especially not your sensitive heart. 

“Im Jaebeom are you serious?! Why didn’t you say anything earlier—“

“I’m sorry!! But I didn’t think you would actually agree. It took me a solid three weeks to build the courage and ask you. Your outfit is the only thing you have to worry about. I’ve already responded to the rsvp for the both of us—“ 

You scoffed before crossing your arms in disbelief. Im Jaebeom was really a piece of work. How did you put up with him for so many years? 

“So you knew I was going to say yes.” 

He shook his head; but the small smirk that left as soon as it rose on his face made it clear that yes, he had a feeling you were going to agree. Even if he had to beg you for hours on end. 

“I was hoping you would want to do something so big for me because I’m your best friend and you love me.” You took in a deep breath and felt your heartbeat begin to increase. 

If only he knew just how true his statement was. 

For the week leading up to the wedding events, Jaebeom came over to your apartment practically every single day. It wasn’t something you weren’t used to; he visited so often that a lot of his things were scattered throughout your space but you liked it that way. However, he told you that he wanted to practice being intimate with you. If you were cooking the two of you dinner, he’d stand right behind you and pulled your body up against his. 

He began buying you bouquets of your favorite flowers, constantly held your hand even if the two of you were sitting down; he also would pull you on to his lap and stated to hide his face in the crook of your neck. One night, he even placed a few kisses up against your jaw and you found yourself ultimately regretting your decision to assist him. The proximity and constant affection only made your feelings for him deepen if it were even possible. 

As much as you wanted to milk every moment with Jaebeom being a fake couple together, you were afraid of getting your heartbroken once this act was all over. The days just seemed to come and go in an instant; school and work took up most of your day and once you were done, you and Jaebeom would watch movies together or play a few board games. Before you knew it, the day of the first luncheon came and you found yourself getting ready. You were never fond of wearing makeup; it wasn’t that you thought you didn’t need it, you just hated having to put it on and it saved you a lot of money not having to purchase any. 

It wasn’t like there was anyone in your life that you had to impress otherwise. Jaebeom made it known that you were naturally beautiful. You would always roll your eyes at his comment and think that he was only saying that because he was your best friend. Nonetheless, his compliments always made your heart flutter. While the two of you went shopping for dresses, he made it clear that he liked every single outfit you tried on. You tried your best not to make it obvious that his words were slowly driving you to the brink of insanity. 

Why did he have to say all these nice things about you and make you feel like you were more to him than just his best friend? It was natural for friends to compliment each other, but for him to say that you were the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid his eyes on; on top of having the most “ridiculous curves”, you didn’t think friends would say such things. 

Right as you were putting the finishing touches of blush on your cheeks, the knock on your door broke you out of your thoughts. You gave yourself a couple of seconds to put yourself together and when you finally opened the door, it’s as if your soul left your body. The only time you’ve ever seen your best friend in a tux was at both junior and senior prom and even then, he broke the rules in the way that he wore his attire. 

He didn’t even wear a tie and his dress shirt was unbuttoned, showing partial of his chest—but none of your teachers had the courage to tell him he was breaking dress code. His hair was slicked back, his suit was crisp and wrinkle free and he even put on a tie this time. You didn’t think it was possible for him to look even more handsome than he usually was, but right now, he looked like a Greek God. He was at peak attractiveness and it was taking every bone in your body not to scream in sexual frustration. 

“Hey. You look beautiful—really beautiful. Ready to go?” 

You simply nodded your head; afraid that you might say the wrong thing if you were to speak up. The car ride was quiet, other than the jazz playlist going on in the background. To your delight and dismay, he brought his free hand to your lap and gently grazed your thigh with his thumb. Your breath hitched at his touch; his hand only went higher on your leg the longer he drove and you were sure you were just seconds away from placing his hand up to where you wanted him the most. Unfortunately, the hotel that the lunch was being held at was closer to your apartment that you had expected—but maybe it was a blessing in disguise. 

“I’m really glad you chose that dress. I think it was the best one of the many you tried on.” Once he parked, he wasted no time in walking over to your side of the car and opening the door for you; helping you out and intertwining your fingers together. 

“Showtime—Babe.” 

God, this was going to be a long day. 

As soon as you both entered the lobby and made your way up to the ballroom, you were quick to spot some familiar faces. A lot of Jaebeom’s friends were there—some you knew, some that you were also friends with and some you have never met before. When your mutual friend BamBam saw your intertwined hands, he had to cover his mouth in order to keep himself from squealing. 

“No fucking way. I knew the two of you would end up together one day. I fucking knew it. Jackson owes me $20 dollars. Ah, I’m so happy for you both. You look good together. I can’t wait to tell everyone. Let’s go find them shall we?” 

The lunch actually went off without a hitch. Thankfully, the groom sat you and Jaebeom at a table with BamBam, Jackson, Mark, Jinyoung, Youngjae and Yugyeom. Jinyoung and Youngjae brought their girlfriends, so you decided to get to know them while the guys got reacquainted with each other. Since it was just a lunch, the day went by pretty quickly. After saying your goodbyes to everyone at your table and making plans to go on double dates now that everyone knew—or at least were convinced that you and Jaebeom were dating, he grabbed your purse before reaching for your hand and led you out to his car. 

“See, that wasn’t so bad was it?” You shrugged indifferently before scrunching your nose. 

“Ella wasn’t there though. Are you sure she’s going to be a part of this wedding?”

“Positive. She’s close with both the bride and the groom. Maybe she was busy today. Probably fucking that asshole of a coworker—“

“Hey, don’t start. Please. She didn’t deserve you Jaebeom. You are an amazing—wonderful—otherworldly human being. Any girl would be lucky to have you. I know it sucks being cheated on, but maybe this was a blessing—don’t give me that look. Hear me out. I don’t want to assume that she’s been cheating on you all this time, but it’s better you found out sooner than to do something stupid like ask her to marry you and find out later that she was being unfaithful.” 

You don’t know what got over you in that moment; whether it was seeing him on the verge of tears, or just being in the moment after all the touches you’ve shared with each other today, but you got on your tippy toes and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. 

“You’ll be okay Jaebeom. She’ll be nothing but a memory once this week is over. Let’s get you home.” 

The next luncheon came—still no sign of Ella, yet Jaebeom grew clingier than the day before. It also seem as if he genuinely enjoyed introducing you as his girlfriend to some of his friends. You weren’t going to lie, you were enjoying the chivalry; none of your ex-boyfriends ever pulled out a chair for you or took off their jackets for you to wear. You could also feel eyes on you from who you assumed to be girls who either had a crush on Jaebeom at one point or even had a fling with him. 

Although you were the one he had a protective grip on, you did get jealous knowing that some of these girls got to experience what Jaebeom was like behind closed doors. A lot of the girls in high school were extremely vocal about what sex with Jaebeom was like and you’d find yourself wanting to know yourself. It was silly for you to think you would ever have the chance to be writhing underneath him as you begged him to do anything to smooth the fire burning in your core—but a girl could dream right? 

Finally the reason why you and Jaebeom were putting on an act for the last few days came in to play when you walked in to the dining hall together and saw Ella sitting with a couple of other guests. You assumed that the guy whose arm was around her shoulder was the same one Jaebeom caught her cheating with. You clenched your jaw in anger and said a little prayer; wishing for some self control. It wasn’t even you who was cheating on—yet you wanted to walk over to her table and yank her by her poorly done ponytail. Really, what did Jaebeom see in her? 

He was too busy getting you both signed in that he wasn’t able to see what was driving you up the walls, but you wanted him to know she was there and that she had unfortunate company. After you were giving your table number, you gently tugged on the bottom of Jaebeom’s suit in order to get his attention and gave him the unpleasant news. His reaction shocked you though; he winked and gave you a smirk. 

“I have the hottest date here—I’m not bothered one bit. Come on, I want to talk to Jackson about something.” He brought his hand to your lower back and guided you to the table Jackson was sitting at. 

“Damn y/n, you look amazing. You’re making all of us look bad—the bride will probably complain that you’re stealing her spotlight.” 

You politely thanked him before softly giggling at his comment. If only you weren’t so busy admiring the center piece and the party favors, you would have been able to see the way Jaebeom was mentally sending daggers towards his best friend’s neck. You did notice that Jaebeom brought his seat closer to yours and his hand that was on his knee was now gripping at your thigh. 

To an outsider; it might have been a sexual gesture, but under these circumstances—it just seemed off. Knowing his tendencies of getting angry, you didn’t pry at him. If something was bothering him, he would tell you when he was ready to. You just assumed he was now coming to terms that he was in the same room with his ex-girlfriend and the guy she cheated on him with. Although he seemed out of it for the first hour; especially when his friends tried to star conversation with him, everything settled down once the emcee announced that it was time for everyone to head to the dance floor. You elbowed the other boy and motioned your head towards the stage. 

“I want to dance. Can we please?” He furrowed his brows and released a long sigh. 

“You know I hate dancing y/n. That’s going to be a hard pass.” It was your turn to sigh, but then you looked across the table and saw your three other friends moving along to the Drake song that was now filling the room. 

“Fine. I’ll just ask Jackson. I’m sure he’ll want to—“

“Don’t you fucking dare. You’re mine damnit. Fuck—whatever, let’s go.” 

His words confused you; sure, the two of you were pretending to be a couple so there was chance he was just playing along, but to hear him say that you were his so confidently, without hesitation made you feel as though there was more meaning behind it. Once you found a place that the two of you could dance comfortably in, you began to let loose and allowed your body to flow freely. Your hair swung all around and your hips kept up with the movement of the song. 

Although he seemed uptight back at the table, it wasn’t long until a smile rose on his face as his hands slowly made their way down to your hips. You wrapped your arms around his neck and continued your movements. The first couple songs were very upbeat and the two of you danced carelessly; you even had a feeling you both looked like fishes flopping out of water but you didn’t care. You were genuinely having so much fun; something that always happened when you were with Jaebeom. After fifth song finished, the Dj played a slower song at the request of the bride. 

As soon as boys to men came through the speakers, you didn’t know how to react—nor did you know how you were going to dance along to this song in particular. “I’ll make love to you” was the last song you expected to hear tonight, especially because you’ve been sexually aroused since you left Jaebeom’s apartment. Luckily, you didn’t have to move at all—Jaebeom pulled you closer to him and did the unthinkable. You were always a big fan of his hands. 

He’s always had such pretty fingers and you found yourself admiring them on many occasions; yet you weren’t prepared to feel them gripping tightly on both your ass cheeks. You looked up at him in shock but right before you could react, his lips were on yours. You’d find yourself daydreaming about how it would feel to kiss Jaebeom on many occasions; more than you’d liked to admit out loud. 

Whenever he would talk, your eyes would always find their way to his mouth. Every time he would bite and nibble on his lips, you would picture what it would be like to do it yourself. However, no daydream could ever prepare you for the actual thing. His lips were soft against yours; he always felt the need to apply chapstick and you were thankful that he was the type to care about things like that. His movements were rushed; as if the world was going to end and the last thing he wanted to do was kiss you. It was a sensation you wouldn’t be able to fathom in to words. 

Kissing him right now made you feel like you’ve been missing out on so many years of being able to feel him—actually feel him. You weren’t sure why he felt the need to attach your lips together out of the blue, but you weren’t complaining. He smiled in to the kiss when he felt you put more pressure; molding your lips all but gently against his. You ran your hands up and down his chest and as soon as you heard him moan, that’s when you decided to pull away in fear that you would literally rip his shirt off of him right then and there. 

“Jaebeom—“

“I’m sorry, I had to. You just looked so breathtakingly beautiful and seeing you so happy made me act out—you don’t know what you do to me do you? I’m in love with you baby. So fucking in love with you y/n and I have been for a really long time. I hope that kiss helped prove my feelings for you—but if you need more validation, I’d be happy to give you a more physical demonstration. Preferably with our clothes scattered on my bedroom floor while I rail the shit out of you.” 

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you let out a groan at both his love confession and his plans for the rest of the night. Were you dreaming? You had to be—there was no way Jaebeom actually confessed to you that he was in love with you. How could he have been in love with you? He never made it seem like he harbored any romantic feelings for you at all the entire duration of your friendship. You stole one more kiss from the corner of his lips before nodding embarrassingly quickly. 

“Take me Im Jaebeom. I’m yours. I love you and I’m in love with you too. Let me just run to the bathroom really quickly then we can go and you can have your way with me.” 

He allowed you to head over to the restroom while he went back to your table and made up an excuse as to why you had to leave so early. You tried to hurry up with your movements; the desire to finally become one with Jaebeom was seeping through your entire body. When you first entered the bathroom, you were the only one inside. As you heard the door open while you were ready to leave the stall, you didn’t think much of it. 

That was until you finally made your way towards the sink and saw just who entered the bathroom. There were so many thoughts running through your mind in that moment; so many things you wanted to say to her, but you had other thoughts occupying your mind. Ones that made your core throb and took your attention away from the girl who was obviously wanting to say something. 

“Nice to see you again y/n. You look great. I love your dress—I think I saw it on the sale rack at forever 21 am I mistaken?” You scoffed. 

“Yeah, it was right next to your cheap ass lipstick and generic brand of eye shadow.” She was quick to cross her arms and you knew your words got to her—but her anger didn’t last long. 

“So you and Jaebeom—can’t say I didn’t see this coming. He would never shut up about you and followed you around like a lost puppy; what a pathetic little boy. It was painfully obvious that he liked you. And you wonder why I cheated. He never liked me to begin with. I never understood why he got in a relationship with me when his heart adamantly belonged to you. Witnessing how you would constantly stare at him though, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that you were just as obsessed. It was a waste of my time though; the sex was underwhelming and his dick was extremely tiny. Good luck with my sloppy seconds.” 

Images of you socking her in the face were now filling up your mind—it would be so easy to just slap her or step on her foot, but what good would it do? You’d only look like a bad person and taint Jaebeom’s reputation. Plus, she could press charges and you would cause such a mess at the party. Right as she was about to walk out, you decided to make your own comment. 

“Funny you say that considering that I can’t even fit him entirely inside of my mouth. The tip of his cock would always touch the back of my throat and there was still so much of him that my mouth couldn’t cover. Oh, and don’t even get me started on how good he fucks me. If it’s any consolation, Jaebeom is an amazing boyfriend and an even better lover. He treats me and eats me so fucking good. I’m sorry he didn’t think much of you to show you the same affection. Ah, before I go—he told me that you don’t taste all that good—bitter and sour if I remember his exact words. I’d get that checked if I were you.” 

Your words felt much more better than a slap would have felt; even if you were blatantly telling lies, you felt as though a huge weight was lifted off of your shoulders. Jaebeom looked at you in confusion and it’s as if you knew he was going to ask you what took you so long. You cupped his cheek and placed a chaste kiss on his nose while saying goodbye to everyone on the table. 

“I’m sorry to hear that your dad has a stomach ulcer y/n. I hope he feels better soon.” 

Jaebeom was lucky that you were the kind of person to catch on to things quickly; you weren’t all too happy that he lied in order for the two of you to leave without being teased for what you both planned on doing, but you needed him just as badly as he claimed to have needed you. He didn’t even let you take two steps before roughly pressing his hard on against your ass and licking stripes along your neck; only adding to the euphoria you were already sensing as you made out with each other on the dance floor. 

“I don’t think I can make it back to either of our places—I need you now.” You were about to ask him where he planned on taking you, but your questions were answered once he began pulling you towards the direction of the lobby. 

“Jaebeom, you’re not seriously going to rent a hotel room for one night just so we can fuck—“

“That’s exactly what I plan on doing baby. If I have to wait even just one more minute, I’m going to cum in my pants just at the sight of your tits busting out of your dress. I’d prefer to come inside of you—plus it’s more romantic than what I had in mind. Honestly I was planning to make love to you in a family bathroom or the backseat of my car. I’ve waited to make love to you for longer than I want to say out loud. Just know that I’ve been dreaming of burying myself inside of your pussy for at least six years now. Our first time together is a night I will remember for the rest of my life and I think it would be even more memorable in a fancy setting don’t you think?” 

His quick movements towards the front desk almost gave you whiplash, but it only heightened your excitement. He began tapping his foot impatiently as the receptionist took her time typing in his information. You had to stifle back a giggle at the veins that developed on his neck. After what felt like an hour having to wait for her to get you both a room, he yanked the key from her hand and ran towards the hallway leading to the elevators. You were sure the receptionist caught on to what the two of you were going to do once you headed up to the hotel room—but you couldn’t care less. 

All that you could think about was finally getting to experience what you’ve been dreaming about for the last few years. You were going to make love to your best friend and you couldn’t be more excited. He didn’t even wait for the elevators to close before forcing you up against the wall, pressing his knee in between your legs in order to get as close to you as he physically could. His hands were gripping tightly at your waist while he attacked your neck and jaw with wet kisses. The feeling of his cock pressing up against your clothed core was a feeling you’ve never experienced before.

You’ve had sex enough times to say you had quite a bit of knowledge on how to please a man. Many of your partners told you that you were a professional at giving head and even more amazing at riding dick. None of their confessions meant anything to you—the only person whose opinion mattered was Jaebeom. You were growing insecure at the idea of not being able to take care of him or pleasure him in the way that previous girls he’s been with might have done. As soon as the doors opened, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder; earning himself a loud gasp. 

“Sorry baby; I can’t wait anymore. Those heels look amazing on you but fuck, they only make you move slower. However, I think it would be extremely sexy for you to keep them on while I fuck you.” 

He shoved the keycard inside of the door and you didn’t even get to look around the room; he threw you down on the couch and climbed on top of you. The toothy grin he gave you made your stomach fill with butterflies. You’ve loved him for such a long time; if you were to tell your ten-year-old self that Im Jaebeom, the boy you’ve been crushing on since the second grade when he spent months tying your shoes for you until you actually learned how, reciprocated your same feelings, she would probably laugh in your face. But his comforting touch as he ran his hands along your arms made it all the more real that Jaebeom did in fact love you and you were finally going to experience the love you’ve been wanting to feel since you were a little girl. 

“I know I’m seconds away from ripping this dress off of you, but since this is our first time together, I think it would be best for me to explain my love for you—even if only for a couple of minutes. You can hold off from needing to feel my dick inside of you can’t you?” You elbowed him in his ribs before flicking his forehead. 

“You’re the one who is spending at least $200 to have sex with me just because you were too impatient to wait to get home.”

“Best $200 I’ve ever spent. Now, as much as I love hearing that sweet voice of yours, please be quiet so I can hurry up and go in to vivid detail about how, when and why I started having feelings for you. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve been in love with you from the day you first approached me back in the cafeteria, but the fact that you wanted to keep me company because you hated seeing me alone made my heart swell up. I knew you were going to be someone special in my life. I think I realized that I was in love with you right after my first break up. I developed a crush on you back in the 7th grade and I’m sure I saw you as more than just a friend even before then. I just didn’t want to ruin our friendship if I told you how I felt and found out that you didn’t reciprocate my same feelings. I know this is far fetched and hard to believe, but I’m telling the truth; every single girl that I’ve been with was my pathetic way of trying to get over you. Obviously, it never worked. They were never you. Nobody could ever be you baby. Nobody could make me feel so important—so happy—so loved and genuinely cared for. I’m happiest when I’m with you and I feel so fucking empty when we’re not together.” He brought his fingers right below your eyelids and wiped away a few stray tears that you didn’t even know built up. 

“God, you’re so fucking cute. Anyway, I would always find myself staring at you. No matter what I was doing or who I was with, my eyes would always gravitate toward you. You’re so beautiful—I cannot stress this enough. You are the most beautiful girl to exist, I need you to know that. And it goes on your physical beauty; you have one of the biggest, most generous hearts and you never fail to make me laugh and smile at the most silliest things. I’m sorry for being such an idiot—I should have just grown the balls earlier and told you how I felt. I wouldn’t have wasted all my time fooling around with girls I didn’t care about. I never felt like I deserved you—that’s why I didn’t try I guess. I saw all the guys you developed crushes on and I was nothing like them. So I just assumed you wouldn’t look at me that way. But none of that matters now. I’m yours and you’re mine. I hope you know you’re stuck with me now that we’re together. You’re all I want and have wanted for almost my entire life y/n. I went through so many changes, but you are the only thing that stayed constant. When I first asked you to be my fake girlfriend, I would have never thought we would end up here. I promise; I didn’t plan this entire thing to get you to fall in love with me, but I’m really happy I did. Even happier knowing that you love me. Can you say it again? I don’t think I will ever get used to hearing you tell me you love me.”

You pulled him down and smashed your mouth against his; licking his bottom lip as a nonverbal way to ask for entrance. His movements were quick as he mirrored yours; allowing your tongues to dance in sync together while grinding his pelvis against yours. 

“I love you Jaebeom. I’ve always loved you—mmmmm—always going to love you—now fuck me damnit.” He leaned back and gave you a flirtatious smirk, one you were seconds away from smacking off of his face. As emotional as his confession made you, you were now desiring for him to touch you; to really touch you, to feel him enrapture himself deep inside of you. 

“Sit up baby—I bought this dress because you looked so good in it, but I’m sure you’ll look so much better without it—and I was right. Holy shit y/n—what the fuck—how are you so fucking perfect are you even real?!” 

Your dress was flown across of the room, leaving you in only your underwear and although you weren’t the most confident in your body, the way Jaebeom was looking at you with so much lust; as if he was going to devour you sent your entire body in to a frenzy. 

“Why aren’t you wearing a bra? It’s like you want to kill me. Your tits are huge—so pretty. You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to have you like this and now that I do, I’m not going easy on you.” He grabbed at both of your breasts, kneading and molding at them all but gently while leaving sloppy kisses right below your ear. When you felt him pinch at both nipples before twisting them between his calloused fingers, you let out a soft whimper. 

“Jaebeom—“

“Yes baby? Everything okay?” You gave him an eager nod as you tilted your head back in pleasure. 

“Feels so mmm—so good.” Your words only made his movements quicken and to your surprise, he lowered himself to your chest and brought one of your breasts in to his mouth while continuing to fondle the other. You weren’t a stranger to breast play; you loved whenever your partner would twist your nipples or suck on your titties, but it was different now that Jaebeom was doing it. It was otherworldly—you couldn’t even take in just how wonderful it felt. His tongue swirled around your hardened nipple and before you could even say anything, he brought your nipple in between his teeth. 

“Oh God—“

Feeling him hum against your naked chest all the while sucking fervently on your mound made your head spin. You hated that you could already feel your orgasm building up only minutes in to foreplay; but it was expected. Jaebeom already took care of you as if it was his life duty to do so; this time was no different. He dragged his fingers along your stomach; only adding on to your excitement and desire. 

His fingers were cold against your skin and you knew he was teasing you seeing that his movements were extremely slow. As much as you were enjoying the attention he was showing to your breasts, the fire burning in your core needed to be put out or else you’d really lose it. 

“Jaebeom—babe—“ He abruptly pulled away at the sound of the pet name and gave you his signature grin; the one you’ve been in love with for so many years now. 

“Everything alright y/n? I’m not hurting you am I? The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable. Did you need me to slow down?” His laughter filled the room at the sight of you shaking your head faster than usual. 

“I’m fine. Trust me, it’s the complete opposite. I’m going to need you to touch me—“

“But I am touching you. I can’t seem to stop touching you.” Upset with his response, you decided to take matters in to your own hands and brought his hand down to your entrance. You made sure that he could feel just how wet you were and you could only hope that it would get him to give you what you wanted. 

“Holy shit—you’re soaking. All because I played with your titties for a little while? You’re going to be the death of me.”

“If you don’t hurry up and eat me, you’ll be the death of me. We have the rest of our lives for you to tease me—please just take me already. I’m going to tell you right now, I don’t usually beg during sex Im—and don’t expect it to be a reoccurring thing either. This is just built up sexual tension acting for me. So either you hurry up or—FUCK—shit shit—Jae—“ 

You were so heated in that moment; all you were focusing on was scolding him and trying to coerce him to make a move on your pussy that you failed to notice him making his way down towards your thigh until you felt him lick a long stripe along your core. You didn’t even realize he practically ripped your panty down the middle and as much as you wanted to be mad at him because it was expensive, you just wanted to feel him inside of you. 

At this point, you didn’t care whether it was his tongue, his fingers or his cock; you just needed to feel something—anything to help soothe the tingling sensation in between your legs. His tongue was warm against your entrance; he placed a soft kiss and looked up at you with the most devilish grin you’ve ever seen before he began nibbling on your folds. A breathy moan fell from your lips as he continued his movements; getting eaten out was an experience you hardly ever got to indulge in. 

Most of the guys expected you to suck them off, but there were only two or three that ever returned the favor. You weren’t going to lie, the few experiences you’ve had with other guys were great—they all seemed to know what they were doing at the time. However, with the way that Jaebeom was nibbling on your clit, flicking and sucking on the nub gently and even inserting two of his fingers deeply inside of your cunt—all of your ex-lovers seemed like beginners. Jaebeom was a professional; he knew exactly where to lick and to suck; his fingers were shoved in and out of you at a rapid pace and it didn’t take long for him to reach your g-spot. 

This was the first time anyone ever accomplished finding your g-spot, let alone eating you out so well. If only you saw his ex after actually experiencing receiving head from him—you could have went even further in to detail just how amazing he was. His hums against your entrance made it clear that he was enjoying this just as much as you were. 

“You—you have no flaws do you baby? You taste—so sweet—so fucking delicious. I could eat you out for hours—days if I put my heart in to it. Honestly, I think I’m having more fun than you are—I love how soaking you are. Your juices are filling up my mouth deliciously. You’re so fucking tight—I can’t wait to feel you wrap this pretty pussy around my cock. How does it feel? How does my tongue feel? I need words y/n.” 

You pulled on his hair as soon as he returned back to his place and reattached his lips to your cunt. He playfully blew his warm breath against your core and with the wait you were clenching your legs around his shoulders, you knew you were so close. 

“Feels—so good Jae—I’m so close—please—faster—“ He flicked at your clit with his fingers and licked his way back and forth along your folds. Before you knew it, you let out a whine and soon you were releasing your juices all over his tongue. He lapped up your cum and sucked on both his fingers; releasing them with a loud pop. Once he was done, he made his way up to you and brought his hands up to your mouth. 

“Open your mouth and suck—I want you to experience just how amazing you taste. You’re so fucking sexy—I’m not usually a huge fan of hair pulling but shit—you can yank on my hair as much as you want to babe. I’m gonna need to eat this pussy at least five times a day.” 

The thought made your eyes roll to the back of your head and honestly—you were all for it. Seeing your essence on his lips made you giggle; how could someone look so cute while doing something so sinful. You stole a kiss from the corner of his mouth before leaning towards him and unbuttoning his dress shirt. 

“It’s not fair that I’m naked and you’re fully clothed.” You tried to take it off as fast as you could but it was hard and he wasn’t of any help; he just laughed at your misfortune and watched as you struggled trying to take out the buttons. 

“I never would have thought watching someone unbutton my shirt would be this hot to watch, maybe I should wear dress shirts all the time—“

“Or maybe you should fucking help me instead of just ogling Jaebeom. If You don’t dick me down in the next two minutes, I’m gonna leave you hard and alone in this room.” 

Normally you weren’t as dominant or confident as you were now; you were always so submissive even outside of sex. Whatever someone would instruct you to do, you did it with no hesitation. But you wanted—needed him to finally give you what you’ve been wanting for so long since the night you lost your virginity. 

When you first had sex—it was an okay experience. It was back in your junior year of high school when your boyfriend at the time asked you if you were willing to take that step in your relationship. He was one of the only boyfriends you genuinely had feelings for and he made you feel good—it wasn’t as painful or awkward as most of your friends explained it to be. But if you could go back in the past, you would have waited to give yourself to the beautiful man in front of you. As soon as his shirt came off, he quickly removed his pants and you leaned back in order to get a better look at him. Y

ou knew that Jaebeom was extremely fit; he went to the gym almost every single day and he only ever ate healthy food—telling you that he needed to “maintain his figure”. You’ve seen him shirtless on multiple occasions and there were a few drunken stupors that you’ve seen him practically naked before, but this was the first time you’d actually get to see him bare; on full display in such an intimate setting. He looked at you in confusion; the blank stare on your face didn’t make him feel all that good. Your best friend was always so confident in his looks, his personality and his physique—yet right now, watching you stare at him with an unreadable expression made him feel like he wasn’t attractive enough. Luckily, your next words confirmed that you were gazing at him in awe of his charming good looks and not in disgust. 

“You’re so hot Jaebeom—who knew you were hiding a six pack under all of those baggy hoodies?” You returned back to him and ran your index finger along his chiseled muscles. Both your breaths hitched as soon as your hand found his cock; you palmed him through his cotton briefs and hummed at how hard he was. 

“May I?” 

He gulped before nodding abruptly. Just like he did with your underwear; you forcefully ripped his off but he didn’t seem to care either. No daydream or any dream for that matter could ever had prepare you for this moment. You had a huge feeling Jaebeom was well endowed; you had a chance to see him in his underwear a few times, but seeing his long and thick girth made your mouth water. 

“Shit Jaebeom—you’re so big baby. I can’t wait to feel you inside of me. Can I—return the favor first—“ You don’t remember ever drooling over someone’s dick before, but just thinking about how good the stretch was going to feel in just a matter of moments was making you heated again. To your dismay, he shook his head and it discouraged you. Did he not like receiving head? What guy didn’t like being sucked off? Or was it because he didn’t think you could do a good job of pleasing him? He’s been with so many girls—you were afraid that you wouldn’t be able to make him feel the ecstasy he just brought you through. Before you could continue overthinking, he brought his hand up to your chin and lifted it so that you were making direct eye contact with him. 

“I want nothing more than to shove my dick down your throat—especially because you were extremely naughty earlier; commanding me and telling me what to do. I should really teach you a lesson and trust me baby, I’ve wanted to see you suck on my cock since July 4th back in junior year and the cafeteria gave us those popsicles and you deepthroated it like it was the easiest thing in the world. Like you said, we have the rest of our lives to experiment—I have so many kinky positions to try and things that I want to do to you. But now—now I need to fuck you.” 

He shoved you down on the bed and found his place in between your legs. He lined himself up at your entrance and ran his cock in between your folds; lubricating himself with your left over juices from your previous orgasm. You closed your eyes to prepare yourself for the stretch—as much as you loved being filled to the hilt with a dick, it was extremely uncomfortable. However, whether it was that he sensed your hesitance or something else popped in to his mind; you didn’t feel him just yet and you opened your eyes to see what was wrong. 

“Jae—“

“I didn’t plan this well—fuck—damnit—I don’t have a fucking condom—shit—I haven’t had sex in years and I obviously didn’t think my dreams were finally going to come true tonight—fuck, y/n I’m so sorry—“ You playfully pinched his cheek and placed a reassuring kiss on his forehead. 

“I’m on the pill if that’s okay with you. I’m a  big fan of raw sex—and hey—we plan on spending the rest of our lives together anyway—so even if I were to get pregnant, then that would be pretty fucking awesome if you ask me. I want your babies one day—but if you’re not okay with that, I’m fine with swallowing your kids for the time being—“

“Oh God, please don’t ever say that again. That is not sexy at all. Are you sure about this y/n? I mean, the thought of fucking you without protection is indescribable—but I don’t want you to feel like you have to just because I’m irresponsible—“

“You would think I’d be used to my words going through one ear and out the other—you never listen to me other than when I offer to buy you food. It’s fine Jaebeom, I want this. Now—do us both a favor and blow my back out.” He gave you a hesitant smile and brought some hair off of your face before adoringly cupping your cheek in his palm. 

“Tell me if it hurts okay? And please let me know when I can move. I love you y/n—I love you so much.” 

He brought his lips to yours for what you assumed was to take your mind off of how uncomfortable the first stretch would feel. It wasn’t painful at all; you’ve had sex enough times to get used to the discomfort. His kisses and the way he was holding your waist protectively was enough to take your mind off of the ache and after a couple of thrusts, you were soon feeling pleasure. You gently gripped at his bicep as a nonverbal way to let him know that he could go faster and thankfully, he understood. 

“Fuck—you’re so fucking tight—your walls feel so good wrapped around me—I think I could cum right now and call it a night honestly—“ you rolled your eyes all the while biting your lip in pleasure. His cock felt so good against your clit; his pelvis kissed the tip of your cervix at a pace that you didn’t think was physically possible. The room was filled with skin on skin slapping against each other as his ass collided with yours. He raised your leg up and placed it behind his head so he could hit you deeper and you were sure that just like him, you weren’t all too far away from your second orgasm. 

“Mmm—JAEBEOM—FUCK—right there—holy shit—“ He brought his hand up to your neck and wrapped around your pressure point; choking you while forcing himself harder inside of your cunt. It was an indescribable experience; you were quickly growing lightheaded but in such a wonderful way. He continued his thrusts; pounding his cock vehemently in and out of your folds. 

“You’re so good to me baby—taking this cock so well—I’m so close y/n—you feel extraordinary—fuck wait—I want to take you from behind, would that be okay? I want to fuck you in to this bed—may I?” 

Out of all the positions, doggy style had to be your favorite. Specifically because you were an exhibitionist and a lot of the times you’ve had sex, you made sure it was in an area where you’d be able to see yourself getting fucked. You enjoyed watching your partner take you from behind; it was lewd and animalistic—it made your sex sessions all that more arousing. Even if the mirror wasn’t facing the two of you—you were extremely excited nonetheless. He pulled himself out of you; earning him an erotic whimper but you turned around and placed your face in to the pillows while lifting your ass up in to the air. He slapped both your cheeks before kneading them and playfully pinching them both. 

“I’m going to tell you this right now and I don’t care if you slap me—but I’ve stared at this beautiful ass many times and I’m not even sorry. I could write a novel about how much your ass alone drives me fucking insane—your whole body is a wonderland and I’m losing my fucking mind.” Thankfully, as soon as he admitted his obsession with your butt, he realigned himself at your folds and didn’t give you any warning before shoving his cock back inside. 

“FUCK—DON’T DO THAT—I’M GONNA COME Y/N STOP—“ His grip on your hips tightened once he felt you clench around him. At first, it was an accident. You were just reacting to how amazing it felt having his hardened length graze along your walls, but now that you knew how much it was affecting him, you wanted to mess around with him. 

“I thought you said no teasing tonight. Fine, two can play at that game babe.” 

No matter how hard and how fast he was pumping himself inside of you, his pace now was merciless. He began to bite and suck on the back of your neck and grunted each and every time his cock kissed your lips. His movements were harder—faster and you couldn’t even form an actual sentence to describe how euphoric you felt. This went on for ten more minutes and before either of you knew it, you felt his warm, creamy liquid fill you to the brim. Not too long after, he coaxed you in to reaching your release by whispering dirty words and sweet nothings in to your ear. 

After coming on his cock, you collapsed on the bed and he plopped his body on top of you. If you weren’t as exhausted as you were at the moment, you would have complained about how heavy his body was lying against yours, but you were so tired and you actually liked the proximity between the two of you. You and Jaebeom laid there for a couple of minutes; trying to catch your breaths and accept reality for what it was. You just made love to the man of your dreams—he was finally yours to love as you were his. Honestly, you didn’t need anything or anyone else. 

You didn’t care what job you were to get in the future; what car you’d end up driving one day or the house you’d end up living in—you would be content living a box as long as Jaebeom was there next to you. Once his breathing returned back to normal, he got off of you and took his place right next to you—turning you to face him. His hair was stuck on his forehead and with all the energy you had left—you let out a little chuckle. 

“This was the best night of my fucking life I can’t even—that was amazing—you were—wow y/n. I think I’m going to become a nymphomaniac and it is all your fault. Shit you felt so good I’ll never get over it. How was that for you though?” You pecked his lips and dragged your thumb along his bottom one. 

“That was wonderful—I’m sure it was ten times more amazing because I’m so in love with you. I’ve never been in love before—so I feel like it just heightens my hormones and made my experience so much more enjoyable. You were remarkable babe. I think I enjoyed that a little too much. I’m so glad we finally put our feelings out there. I don’t think I would have lasted much longer knowing how much I love you and not doing anything about it. I’m sure I would have blurted it out sooner or later. I love you Jaebeom. I’m so happy I can say that now. I love you, I love you, I love you.” 

He looked at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes and pulled you closer to his body before stealing a few fleeting kisses from your lips and running his fingers through your hair. 

“I love you too y/n and I’m going to spend the rest of my life reminding you both physically and verbally on a daily basis just how much. You’ll never have to question my love for you. Now—should I call the front desk and tell them we plan on staying for the rest of this week? I really want to fuck you in the shower and up against the window.” 

The next day—you and Jaebeom relished in your love for a couple of hours before you tapped out. The wedding wasn’t until 6:00 P.M. but you didn’t want to miss out just because you weren’t able to move around. For the rest of the day, the two of you watched a couple of movies and ordered room service. Your cuddling was on a whole other level now, he preferred that you’d sit on his lap rather than just sitting next to him and he always had to have his arms wrapped around you. Once it was time for you both to get ready, he recommended taking a shower together in order to “save time and the environment” but you knew exactly what would happen if you decided to take a shower with him and your mind was set on going to the wedding. 

He let out the most adorable whine but allowed you to take a shower first because he knew you would need more time to get ready. While he was in the shower, you slipped on your dress and began to apply a light amount of make up. Your hair didn’t take too long to dry and you actually finished getting ready around the same time he was. Watching his jaw drop as he walked in to the room at looked at you up and down sent chills down your spine. 

“Yeah—no, there is no way I am letting you go down looking like that—we’re staying here and that dress is going on the floor—“

“Im Jaebeom, I will go to that wedding with or without you. I did not spend half an hour getting dolled up just so we can stay here and have more sex. I’m still sore—keep it in your pants will you? If you’re a good boy then maybe when we come back—I’ll let you have your way with me again. But until then, promise me you’ll be on your best behavior.” He groaned before making his way towards you—wrapping his arms around your waist and releasing a long sigh in to your neck. 

“Fine. Just know I’m rock solid right now and I’ll probably be for the rest of the night until you relieve me. There are a few family restrooms we can make love in—get back here—you can’t attend the wedding without me baby—“ 

The wedding was extremely beautiful. Although you didn’t know either the bride or the groom personally, you found yourself shedding a couple of tears. You’ve always loved going to weddings; witnessing the love two people had for each other was so beautiful. There were so many times you’ve found yourself planning out your future wedding, but you’ve never been with anyone that you’d see yourself starting a family with. The idea of marrying Jaebeom was always in the back of your mind, but you never thought you’d be here right now with his hand inching closer and closer to your core. 

“That’s going to be you and me one day.” You turned around to face him and smiled softly at his sweet words. 

“I can’t wait.” Once the bride and groom said their vows and everyone made their way in to the grand ballroom, the rest of the night came and went with a snap of your finger. You were so caught up in staring at your boyfriend and just thinking about what he said earlier that you didn’t even bother to look around for Ella. She didn’t matter anymore. It may have sounded weird, but you were grateful that she made the awful mistake of cheating on Jaebeom. You hated that she hurt him and make him question himself and what he did wrong, but you were content that it brought the two of you together. 

Your love for Jaebeom only grew stronger as the days went by. If you thought he was the perfect best friend; he was an even more amazing boyfriend. He was quite the gentleman; always called you up to see how your day was going, bought you things that reminded him of you, wrote poems about your beauty and how lucky he was to have you—he even stayed on the phone with your mom for over an hour once to learn how to make your favorite dish. He also tried his best to head over to your place almost every single day and on the days he was too tired from work, he’d make sure to FaceTime with you just so he could get his fill of seeing you. Life with Jaebeom was perfect—honestly too good to be true. Both work and school was rough for you, but the time you’d get to spend with him made it all worth your while. 

Unfortunately, you were putting all your time and energy in to your education, your work and your relationship that you weren’t taking good enough care of yourself. One morning you woke up feeling nauseous and extremely light headed. You just assumed it was because you were either dehydrated or lacking in sleep. Since you didn’t think anything of it, you went about your day like nothing was wrong. You were sitting in class, texting back and forth with your boyfriend when all of a sudden you felt yourself going in and out of your head—you didn’t know how to explain exactly what you were feeling but you knew something wasn’t right. 

It wasn’t until your vision went blurry that you felt like you should make your way towards the nurse’s office; but you collapsed right as you made your way towards the door. The last thing you heard were worried voices telling someone to call an ambulance before everything faded to black. Waking up felt weird; you knew by the white walls and the beeping from what you assumed was a heart monitor that you were in the hospital. Your memory was a blur; you remembered everything leading up to that moment, but you don’t remember being put in the back of an ambulance or even making your way to the hospital. How long have you been asleep for? What exactly caused you to pass out? 

You had a feeling you’ve been sleeping for at least a couple of hours—but then again, what felt like such a short amount of time to you could have been a week for all you knew. The tight hold on your hand was quick to grab your attention and when you looked down to see who it was—even if you had a feeling it was the same person you were hoping it would be, you gently caressed his hand with your thumb. Jaebeom was leaning on your bed; his face was pressed up against your ankle as his hands were intertwined with yours. You didn’t want to wake him up; but your curiosity was getting the best of you. 

“Jaebeom—baby—hey—“ 

You brought your hand in to his hair and began running your fingers through it in attempts to wake him up without startling him. He took his time to wake up but as soon as he realized that it was you calling his name, he sat up abruptly and blinked a few times; as if he was trying to see whether or not he was still sleeping or if he was awake and you were actually real. As soon as he realized that he wasn’t still dreaming, he threw himself towards you and cupped your face in between his hands. 

“Finally, you’re up. How are you feeling baby? God y/n, I was so worried about you. I had a feeling something was wrong when you stopped responding to my text messages and then I got a call from your mom telling me that you fainted and I couldn’t think. I was so scared—do you need me to get you something? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you want to use the bathroom? Should I call the doctor—“ 

In your fifteen years of knowing him, you’ve never seen him so distraught before. There’s never been a situation that he ever had to be this frantic or nervous—but it made your heart flutter both seeing and hearing how affected he was that something happened to you. 

“I’m okay babe, I just want you to hold me.” He bit his lip before standing up and placing a chaste kiss on your forehead. 

“Let me go call a doctor and let your parents know your awake. Then I’ll join you on the bed and cuddle the shit out of you.” You frowned as you saw him leave the room, but you understood that he wanted to make sure everything was okay with you. When the doctor came in, he was alone and you wondered where Jaebeom could have gone, but the grim look that he was wearing worried you. 

“Hi there y/n. It’s nice to see that you’re finally awake.”

“Do you mind me asking, how long have I been asleep for?”

“Three days. I’m actually surprised you’re not still in a coma. From what happened to you—I expected you to still be sleeping for at least one more week. How are you feeling?” You shrugged indifferently before sitting upright. 

“Groggy I guess? My body hurts just a little bit, but other than that, I’m fine. Did I pass out because I’m not eating right or getting enough hours of sleep? I’ll admit, I haven’t been taking care of my body as much as I should so is it because of that?” He released a disappointed sigh before shaking his head. 

“Y/n—I don’t know how to tell you this but, one of your kidneys are failing. That’s why your body went in to shock and you ended up collapsing.” 

You looked at him in shock. To be honest, you weren’t all that familiar with how bodies worked. All you knew was you needed to eat right, drink 8 cups of water a day, get at least seven hours of sleep and exercise three to five times a week. You didn’t know much about kidneys other than the fact that they filter out toxins from your body; you weren’t even aware of where it was located. But to hear that one of your kidneys were failing made you extremely nervous. 

“What does that mean exactly?” He walked closer to you and took a seat on the chair Jaebeom was sitting on. It made you grow even more curious as to where he could have been. Did he know? Is that why he seemed so upset? Did the doctor explain to him what happens to people who’s kidneys are failing? 

“Your kidney is one of the most important and vital organs in your body—when it fails, so does everything else. I don’t want to worry you—but most people don’t last long even when on dialysis.” The last thing anyone—especially someone who was only twenty-three years old wanted to hear was that you were going to die soon. You were still so young; there was so much going on for you as of right now. There were so many things you had planned for your future—why was your life on the line? It wasn’t fair. A few tears began to build at the brim of your eyelids—but it was only natural. 

“Is there anything I can do? A surgery I have to undergo or some medication I can take? I’ll do anything doctor. This can’t be it for me.” 

He nodded in understanding; you were sure it was probably hard for him to deliver this kind of news—but it probably wasn’t something he had yet to get used to. As many miracles there were in the hospital, there were just as many tragedies. 

“You could get a kidney transplant, but there’s a list. Kidneys are one of those organs that are harder to get next to a heart. I’ll put you on the list right now, but I’m sure there’s at least thirty people waiting for a donor. What we can do is test some of your loved ones to see if they have the same blood type as you and if they’re willing to give you one of their kidneys, then there’s no having to go on the list and your health will be good as new.” 

The thought of having to ask someone for their kidney made you want to cry. You knew your parents would offer their kidneys in a heartbreak—but there was no way you could do that to either of them. Even if people could live on just one kidney, what if down the road, that kidney ends up failing itself? As much as you did not want to die, you refused to put someone else’s life at jeopardy just to save yours. 

“I see. I’ll talk to my family about it. Thank you so much doctor.” 

He gave you a sad smile and told you that he’d get a nurse to bring in some food before leaving you all alone with your thoughts. You didn’t know what to do or what to think. What could you do other than cry, pray and hope for the best? He didn’t have to say it outright, but you knew he was indirectly explaining that your chances of living were very slim. 

You allowed yourself to break down; you didn’t want to cry in front of anyone—especially not Jaebeom. He was already worried as it was—you didn’t need to add on to his problems. When you heard footsteps approaching the door just a couple of minutes after the doctor left, you wiped away your tears and put on the fakest smile you could muster. 

“My baby! I’m so glad you’re finally up—you poor thing. When the hospital called me, I almost ended up passing out myself. What did the doctor say? I told you—you need to take care of yourself better y/n—“

“I’m dying mom. One of my kidneys are failing. He didn’t say why or how—I’m assuming it might be hereditary but there’s nothing I can do other than get a transplant—but he said the list is backed up. There are at least thirty people ahead of me.” 

Right as you finished relaying the news, you could have sworn your heart broke as soon as your mom let out the most gut wrenching sob. Sure, it was already so much for you to take in as the person who was just minutes away from death—but as a mother, hearing that your child is sick must feel like their entire world was falling apart. Besides Jaebeom, your mom was your best friend. She had to be your favorite person in the world; and you were hoping that one day, you’d be even half as an amazing mother to your kids as she is to you. 

She joined you on the bed and pulled you in to her embrace. The two of you just sat there crying for quite some time; you failed to notice Jaebeom walk in nor did you see him walk right out in order to give you and your mom some space. 

“You’re going to be fine y/n okay? I will make sure of it. I’m going to get tested and I’m sure your father would love to see if he’s a match and Jaebeom—“

“No—please—I can’t ask any of you to do such a thing like that for me.” She looked insulted; as if you said something to hurt her feelings but you knew she was just sad. 

“Y/n, I’m your mother—I’ll do anything for you baby girl. I’m not going to lose you—no—not if there’s anything I can do about it. Don’t give up okay? Don’t lose hope. Everything will be okay in the end.” Her fingers felt nice in your hair; her touch was featherlight and she began humming softly while placing a kiss on your cheek. 

“Mom. Can you do me a favor?” She nodded without hesitation. “Please don’t tell Jaebeom. The last thing he needs is to worry about me. He already has so much on his plate. His dying girlfriend should be the last of his worries—“

“Y/n, you can’t be serious right now. I wish I could have recorded just how worried he sounded when I told him you were at the hospital. I’ve never seen someone so in love with another person the way Jaebeom is in love with you. You can’t do that to him—it’s not fair to him. You’re his main priority y/n and think about it like this—what if he was the one who was sick and kept something so important like a failing kidney from you? How would you feel? Devastated right? I’m sure he’ll be broken-hearted if he were to find out when it’s too late. He’s been in your life for such a long time y/n—as your boyfriend, and your best friend, he deserves to hear the truth.” 

You knew she was right—if Jaebeom kept that a secret from you, you’d be so hurt and betrayed. But you felt like you were protecting him by keeping it a secret. 

“Fine I promise I will tell him on my own time. But you need to promise me that you won’t say a thing. Okay?” 

She hesitantly nodded; your mom wasn’t stupid. She knew you just as much and if not more than you knew yourself. No matter how much she would tell you what to do, that didn’t mean you would listen. You were stubborn and hardheaded as hell; you were also the type to suffer in silence by yourself. You didn’t like being a burden to people. 

When you were discharged from the hospital only two days later, Jaebeom forced you to stay with him at his apartment so that he could take care of you. He was afraid that you could collapse again; so he called you out from both your school and your workplace so you had a good amount of time to relax. He also made it a habit to feed you every three hours in order to make sure you were getting as much nutrients as your body needed to survive on. 

A week later, you returned back to your apartment with the excuse that you were feeling better and that you missed the comfort of your own space and hesitantly—he let you. But he got you to promise him that you would text him as much as possible; especially if he wasn’t able to check up on you. It was then that you decided to shut him and anyone out of your life completely. You were stupid to come up with that decision; what good would it do by ignoring everybody in your life. 

Especially the person—your person who meant the entire world to you. If you were dying, you didn’t want to make it harder on anyone; specifically Jaebeom and your parents to spend so much time with them only to pass away sooner than you expected. You cried for what felt like hours when you turned off your phone. You knew that wasn’t going to be enough though; Jaebeom was relentless. He arrived at your apartment just a few hours later—pounding on your door repeatedly while screaming for you to open it. 

Your heart was begging for you to open the door. How could you do this to him? You claim to be shutting him out in order to protect him, yet it was obvious you were breaking his heart. With each pound at your door, you could feel your heart tearing. Why did you fall in love? Why did you allow yourself to get so attached that now you didn’t want to leave even if you didn’t have the choice? You weren’t afraid of death—no. Everybody dies, it’s apart of life. You were afraid of no longer being with Jaebeom. 

No longer getting to see his handsome face or being the reason being his laughter. No longer getting to hold him and be held by him. No longer getting to kiss him and just basking in his existence. Not getting the chance to have a future together—that’s what was hurting you the most. He came by every single day; crying and begging for you to let him in. He told you he had no idea what he did wrong and he thought this was your way of breaking up with him, but he couldn’t understand why. 

Everything was going so well between the two of you just hours before you were administered in to the hospital. Did he say something to upset you? Did you just want to be by yourself right now? Why were you pushing him away when it was obvious that this was the time you needed him the most? You wanted him to hold you as you cried and to tell you everything was going to be okay—even if it wasn’t. 

All you did for the rest of that week other than crying is eat and sleep. You didn’t have the energy nor the motivation to do anything. A week later, you decided to turn on your phone just to make sure nothing bad happened. Seeing over hundreds of texts, calls and voicemails from your boyfriend made you feel like complete and utter shit. You never believed you deserved Jaebeom; even months in to your relationship, you felt as though he deserved someone so much better than you. 

You’ve never hated yourself as much as you did right now. A part of you wanted to read his messages or to listen to one of his voicemails because you missed him like crazy—but you were well aware that it would only make you feel worse. You did notice a number you didn’t recognize call you at least three times and when you listened to the voicemail, you felt as if the entire world stopped. 

“Hi, this message is for Y/n Y/l/n. This is Dr.Kim calling from Queen’s Medical Center. I am excited to inform you that we found a donor for you. Please get back to me as soon as possible. Thank you.” 

You couldn’t believe it—there had to be a catch. Just days ago, he told you that it wasn’t looking too good in your favor but now he said there was a donor for you? Was there thirty other people willing to give their kidneys to those needing a transplant before you? You didn’t want to get too excited; you couldn’t stop your conscience telling you that there was a chance your mom was a match and she offered her kidney. Your initial instinct was to call her first before calling the doctor back, but it’s already been three days. 

If you waited any longer, they could give the kidney to someone else and even if you weren’t too sure if you wanted to accept the transplant, you weren’t going to be rude if someone was already offering it. 

“Hi y/n! How are you? I hope you’re doing well! I’m so excited to say that we found someone with the same blood type as you to donate their kidney. Never in my twenty years of being a doctor have I seen such a case like this—I call it a miracle. I’d recommend you come down to the hospital as soon as you can so we can give you the transplant.” 

You felt overwhelmed—you were undoubtedly content that you were giving the chance to live but you were still curious as to how there was a donor in just a span of a week when some people have been on that list for years. 

“Would you happen to know who the person is whose kidney I’m being given?”

“I have no idea. Sorry. I look forward to seeing you soon y/n. Drive safely.” 

You drank a few cups of water and took a bite out of a sandwich that’s been in your fridge for almost a month now, but you had no appetite at all. As you made your way to the hospital, you found yourself hovering your finger over Jaebeom’s contact. You were given another chance at being able to spend the rest of your life with him—but you fucked it all up. He had to hate your guts for all that you made him suffer through and you couldn’t blame him. 

After you pulled up to the hospital and looked around for doctor Kim, the nurses had you wait in the lobby so they could prepare the surgery table for you. The process didn’t take too long and when doctor Kim came out to explain just how lucky you were to be the recipient of a kidney in such a short amount of time and had the nurses prep you for surgery, you just wanted to get it all over with. The surgery room was extremely bright and you were wearing nothing but a hospital gown. You were told that kidney transplant surgeries took about five to seven hours but because they were putting you on anesthesia, it would feel like five minutes. 

One of the nurses placed the mask on top of your mouth and had you count to ten—but you didn’t even make it to six before passing out completely. Just like the day you collapsed in your lecture hall, you don’t remember falling asleep. It felt good being awake again; but this time was worse than the last. Everything hurt and your mouth felt so dry. Nothing came out of your mouth as you tried to speak up and call for a doctor. 

However, you did feel a pair of hands gripping at your arm and this all felt like deja vu. You were afraid of it being Jaebeom—you didn’t think you deserved for him to come see you and you didn’t think you’d be able to look at him without crying at the thought of how much you’ve broken him. Once you realized it was your mom, you let out a sigh of relief yet you were disappointed it wasn’t your boyfriend. As soon as your mom felt you stirring, she looked up at you and you could’ve sworn her pained expression would be forever imprinted on the back of your mind. 

“Hi mom.” She furrowed her brows before bringing your hand up to her lips and placing a kiss on the back of it. Her expression was quick to change though and before you knew it, she smacked your arm all but gently. 

“You stubborn girl. What is wrong with you? How could you do that to us. You know how worried I was—we all were? What if you were to die huh? There wouldn’t be any way for us to come and get you. You’ve made some pretty stupid choices in your life y/n but this had to be the stupidest thing you could have ever done. And don’t even get me started with the hell you put Jaebeom through. As your mother, I was so mad at you but the poor boy—he thought he did something wrong. He wouldn’t stop blaming himself for something he had no control over—“ You didn’t want to interrupt your mom; especially because she was furious but you needed to know. 

“Where is he?” She stopped her scolding completely as she directed her attention towards anything other than you. 

Oh no. It couldn’t be. 

“Mom. I asked you a question—“

“I think I should go get the doctor and tell him you’re awake—“

“Mom! Answer me! Where is Jaebeom?”

The look of guilt on her face made it all the more adamant that she knew exactly where he was but she didn’t want you to know. She was silent for five minutes; contemplating on how she should go about telling you just how they were able to find you a donor in just a matter of days. 

“I told him.” You looked at her in shock; that was the one thing you did not want her to do. If Jaebeom were to find out about your situation, he wouldn’t hesitate to go and get tested to see if he was a match. 

“I kept it a secret for as long as I could. But when he came over to our house, asking me if I’ve heard from you and if something was wrong—I couldn’t keep lying to him y/n. It was hard for me to look at him, watch him cry and plead to even hear that you were okay; you’re so selfish. I know it was a lot to take in, but I told you we would handle it didn’t I? We’re in this together y/n. Right after I told him, he came here and took the test to see if his kidneys were healthy enough for him to live on just one. You’re both O positive and he didn’t even hesitate to give it to you. He’s still healing but the doctor said he can be discharged tomorrow.” 

All the color drained from your face and you felt like you were going to throw up. Why would he do something so stupid—so foolish; giving away a kidney isn’t something simple like buying someone a gift; or doing their homework for them. This was something he wasn’t able to take back. He was now putting his own health at risk and at what cost? Just so you could live longer? What if this only shortened his life? The doctor said people could survive with only one kidney, but what if his other one failed later on in life? What happens then? 

You wanted to be grateful that he would do such a thing; you obviously meant so much to him that he was willing to give you a part of himself in order to keep you alive. However, you were angry—not so much with him, but this entire situation.

“I can tell you’re overthinking things right now and I just want you to stop. I know that if he was the one dying, you would have done the same thing—so stop. Just be thankful that he did this. Don’t get mad at him; this was already such a big decision for him to make and he made it in a heartbeat. He did this because he loves you y/n. How do you think he would feel seeing you so upset over this as the person who gave you his kidney? Sometimes we do things for the people we love without even a second thought. All we care about is making them happy and keeping them safe. Exactly what Jaebeom did for you. Now, I’m going to go get a doctor, don’t do anything reckless while I’m gone.”

As soon as she left you all alone, you completely fell apart. You ignored him. You lied to him. You tried to leave him and keep him out of your life to protect him from your unfortunate fate yet he gave himself for you. He put his life on the line in order to save yours. Your mom had a point, if it was Jaebeom who needed a kidney, you wouldn’t hesitate to give him yours. With the entire Ella circumstance, although you were hesitant on helping him out for obvious reasons, you gave in because you wanted to help him in any way you possibly could—much like he just did now. 

No matter how many times Jaebeom told you and even showed you how much he loved you, this just set it all in stone. When your mom returned with the doctor and he explained how the healing process worked and what was going to happen now that you had a new kidney, all you wanted to do was find Jaebeom. You wanted to see him yourself and personally thank him for his sacrifice. Your mom told you to get some rest and that she would let you see Jaebeom later, but she knew she wasn’t going to win any argument with you—and you had every right to go and see him. It’s only been a week since you last saw the older boy but it felt like a year—a long, grueling, heartbreaking year. 

As the nurse pushed you in a wheelchair towards his room, there were negative thoughts that began to fill up your mind. Does he regret doing this? What if for some reason one day, we call it quits, is he going to regret it then? What if he wanted nothing to do with you? What if giving you his kidney was his goodbye gift to you? 

Your heart rate only increased as she brought you right outside the door and told you that she wanted to see if he was awake before letting you inside. You weren’t the biggest fan of hospitals; there was one time you tripped and fell in your freshman year and sprained your ankle and you had to stay over two weeks in order to get the surgery and the rest you needed to completely heal. 

The man you were only seconds away from seeing again stayed with you throughout your entire stay. He went to school every morning even if he didn’t want to; but came to be with you as soon as the last bell rang. Even at the prime age of fifteen, Jaebeom always put you first. What did you do to deserve someone who loves you as much as he does? 

“He’s awake now—I didn’t tell him you’re here to see him because I’m sure you want to surprise him. Are you ready?” 

You nodded slowly and took in a deep breath as she wheeled you in to his room. There were countless “get well” balloons and many beautiful bouquets of flowers spread throughout the small space. Jaebeom was a very popular person his entire life—you weren’t surprised to see just how many people were wishing him a speedy recovery. You wondered if anyone knew why he was currently in the hospital. 

As soon as your eyes landed on him, your breath hitched and you wanted to cry again. He currently had so many wires attached to him and there was a couple of bruises on his body; your doctor explained that it was natural for both your bodies to change—especially his since he no longer had both of his kidneys. You wanted nothing more that to hold him and to tell him just how grateful you were for everything; not just for his generosity—although there was no way you’d be able to top this at all, but just for everything he’s done for you since you first became friends. 

“Jaebeom sweetheart, look who came to see you. I’ll give the two of you some space while I go get something for you both to snack on. Just press the help button if you need assistance before I get back.” You kept your eyes on his bed; not wanting to see the way he was looking at you or you would surely break out in tears. 

“Hi.” You began to pick at your fingers out of nervousness. If only you could read minds; you wanted so badly to know what he was thinking. Jaebeom was never a man of words—he preferred actions. You had a feeling he wouldn’t confess even one thought that was going through his mind right now nor did you want to force anything out of him. 

“Hey.” Silence filled the room once you both acknowledged the other’s presence; you didn’t know what to say and with the way he didn’t speak up either—neither did he. 

“How are you feeling?” His question is what got you to finally look at him. He looked exhausted beyond belief and his face was exceedingly smaller and more pale. His eyes were puffy and both his hair and facial hair were growing faster than normal. 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He shrugged and you felt terrible. The two of you were acting as if you were strangers. This was your best friend—the love of your life; your soulmate. Why were you treating him like you had no idea who he was. 

“Jaebeom I don’t know where to start. Well I do—thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you. You saved my life—I’m forever indebted to you Im Jaebeom. I hope you know I would have done the same exact thing for you. I know this is a stupid question to ask, especially because I am well aware of what the answer is, I just want to hear you say it—how—why would you do this? Do you understand how big of a sacrifice you made? A kidney isn’t a small thing Jaebeom; people wait years for one—“

“You just answered your own question y/n. How many times do I have to tell you this for you to get it through that pretty yet extremely stubborn head of yours? I would do anything for you. Anything. I’d give my life up for you—you should know that by now. Fuck—I hated being away from you and I hated that you were trying to push me away. I of all people should have been the first person you ran through. I’m your boyfriend and your best friend y/n. You should feel like you’re able to come and tell me things like this. Especially a life or death situation. What did you think was going to happen if you stayed away huh? What good was that going to do? I honestly don’t know what I would do if I were to lose you. I know—giving away a kidney is a big deal but I didn’t care about anything in that moment. Your mom told me you didn’t want me worrying about you and that’s why you kept it between yourselves—but how could I not worry? It’s not just your future we’re talking about it’s mine too. What, did you think everything would be fine and dandy if you were to die? You’re crazy for even thinking that I wouldn’t want to do this for you. I did it for you and for us—so I can have you for so many more years to come. I love you y/n—so much that it actually scares me but not in a bad way if that makes sense.” 

You moved closer to him and tried your best to get up from your wheelchair in order to join him on the bed. You were sure that if you were to look in the mirror right now—you’d see just how his words practically wrecked you. He laughed softly to himself when he saw you struggle and took matters in to his own hands; he slowly got up and reached for your hand, pulling you towards him and you didn’t even give him a second to make himself comfortable before connecting your lips with his in a passionate kiss. He smiled widely against your mouth. Since he was still pretty lethargic and not quite himself just yet, he had to stop the kiss from escalating any further, no matter how badly he wanted to continue feeling your lips on his. 

“I’ve missed you. Don’t ever do that to me again. Just for that, I hope you know I’m forcing you to move in with me so that I can keep my eye on you. I don’t know why we didn’t move in together sooner, there’s nothing I want more than to go to sleep with you wrapped in my arms and to wake up to your beautiful face and stinky morning breath.” 

You gave him a small pout at his words before nodding in agreement. The idea of moving in with Jaebeom sent fire to your bones. You were more than happy to be able to share a space with him—you always wanted to be around him. The two of you only spent most of your time together at each other’s places, so it only made sense that you both moved in together. You placed a soft kiss on his bottom lip before bringing your hand up just above his eyebrow; tracing his two moles that you adored so much ever so gently. 

“I just didn’t want to end up hurting you if something were to happen to me. As soon as the doctor told me the news, my mind went blank and you were the first person I thought of. I cried at the thought of having to leave you and I thought it would be easier for you to get used to living without me—“

“Well you thought wrong—“ You gently slapped his shoulder before placing a few pecks on his lips.

“Hey, I let you talk without interrupting you. Now let me speak. I was devastated when I heard that my chances of living were slim. It was like there was no hope for me and I didn’t want to get your hopes up either. I’m sure nobody wants to die, especially at such a young age but I was more afraid of no longer having you around and what would happen to you if something did happen to me to even care about what goes on after we die. I can’t even form a plausible sentence to describe how thankful I am that you did this. Thank you for loving me Jaebeom. Thank you for just being you. I can’t even tell you how much your sacrifice means to me. I never once questioned your love for me; you never fail to remind me that you’re so madly in love with me and trust me when I say this, I love you with every fiber of my being—with every single breath that I take. You’re the reason for my existence Jae. To be able to love you and be the extremely lucky person who gets to be loved by you is something I will always be grateful for. You are an extraordinary human being. People like you only come one in a lifetime. I love being able to wake up every morning knowing that you are my person. I don’t say it as much as I should and I’m going to work on that. I want to be a better girlfriend because it’s what you deserve. But I will do anything in my power to show you that my heart is yours. That I am wholeheartedly and irrevocably in love with you.”

When you saw tears building up at the corner of his eyelids, you had to stifle back a laugh. It took a lot for Jaebeom to cry; he wasn’t a sensitive guy so it did melt your heart seeing him so worked up over the thought of no longer having you in his life. God, you were so in love with him. How did you stay away from him for even just a week? You had to be insane. This entire situation made it crystal clear for you—no matter what happened in your life, there was no way you could ever be without Im Jaebeom. 

“A life without you is a life I never want to live. If my kidney ends up failing later down the road—then I’ll dying knowing I gave my life to save yours. To keep you around. I’d give you my heart if you needed it—you’re the owner of it anyway. I wanted to do this for so many reasons baby and I would do it again and again if I had to. It’s you and me for life y/n—I’m yours forever. Oh, and I just want to let you know that I plan on using the fact that you now have one of my kidneys to my advantage just to get on your nerves. If I’m hungry and I want you to make me something—just remember, I gave you my kidney. And this goes for anything else. If there’s only one cookie left or I want to choose a movie for us to watch—my organ is what’s keeping you alive. Think of it this way, you’ll always have a part of me inside of you even if I’m not physically inside of you. I hope you know once we’re both released and completely healed that I expect you to show me just how grateful you are while on your knees—okay I obviously made the wrong decision, give me back my kidney.” 

You gave him the most adorable scowl to which he placed a long, sloppy kiss on your lips and pulled you closer to his body as humanly possible. You’ve missed being in his arms, it’s when you felt the safest and the most at ease. Im Jaebeom in more or less words was an actual angel sent to you to take care of you and you were going to spend the rest of your life showing him just how over the moon you were to call him yours. 

“All jokes aside baby, you mean everything to me y/n and I can’t wait to see what life has in store for us.”

#got7 imagines #got7 #Jaebeom #Im Jaebeom #got7 jb

[yodawgiherd]

You Were Never Truly Gone ch.3

>>>Read on AO3<<<

The support I'm getting is blowing me away, thank you again, everyone <3 Let's get high on that copium together.

They stared at him.

He stared at them.

Mikasa stared at nothing in particular, her happy smile and blush speaking for themselves.

Returning from its quick trip to the see, the bird landed on that tree and turned its head, intently watching the red fabric wound around the woman’s neck. There had to be a way to peck at it again.

In the end, Jean lost it.

“Of course, this makes perfect sense.”, he blurted, “Three years, three fucking years you are dead and the first thing we see Eren doing is this – cramming his tongue down Mikasa’s throat. I mean…”

A cuff from behind silenced him, Pieck whispering.

“Not the time for this, Kirstein.”

Armin’s will snapped next. Unable and unwilling to talk, he crossed the distance in three long steps practically crashing his weight into Eren’s chest. The former enemy of humanity staggered backward but managed to stay up straight until a second person joined in on the pile. Jean’s weight was too much to bear, quickly followed by Connie’s, and Eren fell, for the second time that day, landing on his back with yet another pained grunt.

His fingers slipped out of Mikasa’s grip as he toppled, and she took a step back to watch them roll around on the grass, her smile widening. Mechanically, mind completely wiped, Pieck lit up a cigarette, then second, then third until she realized what she was doing, frowning at her treacherous hands. A single, fat bead of sweat ran down Reiner’s brow when the realization was dawning at him, his eyes staring at what his brain refused to believe.

The devil of Paradis drew breath, Eren Yeager was alive. Alive and currently being squished by three of his closest friends. This was a nightmare. With an expression of pure terror, Reiner turned to Pieck.

“What the hell do we do?”

And Pieck, the smart Pieck, Pieck who was always exactly right as Zeke used to say, shrugged helplessly. Two more, and now there were five burning cigarettes crammed between her lips, a faint attempt at having the nicotine rush calm her hammering heart, puffing like a chimney. It did not work.

“I can’t believe this.”, a voice from the pile of bodies, most likely belonging to Connie, “You’re back!”

An incoherent mumble that was most likely Eren, muffled by everyone on top of him. It was ignored.

“I thought I’d ever say this,”, Jean added, “but I’m happy to see you, blockhead.”

Not even a peep from Armin and Annie was having a funny feeling, watching the man she agreed to marry hug another man with an expression of pure bliss. On and on it went and Eren would probably perish if Mikasa didn’t rescue him, as she did so often. Gently yet firmly she pulled Connie off with one hand, Jean with the other, and Eren was finally able to breathe again.

Sitting up, he eyed the two members of the party who were watching him with mixed emotions.

“Reiner, Pieck.”

All of the cigarettes fell on the grass, Pieck stomping them out on a reflex. The blonde head next to her was shaking in continued denial.

“This can’t be happening.”, Reiner disagreed with the reality, “Not like this…”

Sensing the change in atmosphere Armin let go and Eren was free to regain his footing. Dusting himself off, the usurper stood up.

“I’m afraid that it is. I’m here.”

“How?”

A sidelong glance to Mikasa from Eren.

“It’s a long story….”

“Well, it’s not like we are leaving without hearing it.”, Annie said, “The sooner you start the sooner you finish.”

Once again intertwining his fingers with Mikasa’s, Eren linked them together, the bond giving him both strength and confidence. And here, under the tree and next to his own grave, he told them everything. His death and what followed, the never-ending search among founder’s memories to locate his, the terrible pains Eren went through to put the pieces of his person back together. Thousand times he died and thousand times he pushed through it, filled with nothing but will to move forward. The determination that he drew from Mikasa, from how much he wanted to be with her. The fear that he might be left forever in the collapsed paths, and the incredible joy he felt once his eyes opened on the trampled field – the site of the last battle.

“You are saying that you didn’t regenerate?”, Reiner’s eyes flew to the grave, inspecting the undisturbed surface.

“No, I was given a new body, that’s it.”, Eren tapped his chest, “I lost all my powers, just as you guys, I’m a regular human being now.”

“That does not matter.”, Pieck interjected, “You are alive, it changes everything.”

“And that is a huge problem.”, Reiner’s voice was weak, weak and tired.

Everything they worked for, everything they tried so hard to achieve was at risk now. The fragile peace would shatter into millions of pieces the second Eren came back, and the war would consume the remnants of the civilization. Tired, so tired from fighting, scared, terrified that the nightmare was not over, Reiner let the heavy words fall from his lips.

“Eren Yeager must stay dead. He can’t be allowed to live.”

What happened next was a blur. In a fraction of a second, Mikasa moved forward, stepping in front of Eren and shielding him with her body. Ice, pure ice appeared in her eyes as she rammed those freezing spikes into Reiner, her voice being the most threatening thing the group ever heard in their lives.

“Try it.”

Trauma is an interesting thing. Reiner had it under control lately, his panic attacks and helplessness weakening with the years following the war’s end. But now, they came back in full force when he was confronted by the image of protective Mikasa Ackerman in all her glory, defending the man who gave him nightmares. No ODM, no blades, not even a uniform, she was dressed in a pink skirt and white shirt, yet she was the most terrifying thing that Reiner ever saw in his life – not to forget, the man has been through the rumbling. His first impression of her, during their training years and later, was a flying demon that put his titan to shame. Later he discovered the other part of Mikasa, the beautiful and tortured young woman that was so incredibly caring and sad, coming to terms with the loss of the love of her life. Now the demon was back, even more terrifying than before, because she just regained the most important person in her life and that joy was threatened.

“Try and take him from me.”, she hissed, and Reiner no longer had the armored titan to protect him.

With a sound of pure terror he fell, raising a hand as if to keep her away from him. Pieck tensed, Jean and Connie were frozen in place, Annie regarded everyone with an unreadable face. If there ever was a situation that needed defusing it was this one, Armin knew, so he slipped between the vengeful Mikasa and cowering Reiner, raising his hands.

“Easy, I’m sure that he didn’t mean it like that. Did you, Reiner?”

Yes, he was scared shitless, but he couldn’t give up. They had to see, they had to comprehend the risk.

“I do, think about it Armin! Think about what would happen if Yeager came back! It would completely destroy everything  we worked for!”

A flash of understanding deep in those ocean eyes and Reiner knew that he got his point across.

“I don’t care what you think, if you lay a finger on Eren…”, Mikasa’s whole body was tense, like a steel spring ready to jump, a feeling that she didn’t experience since the war.

The three years of relative peace melted away like nothing because that incredible happiness she just found, the joy that warmed her whole existence was challenged, and Mikasa would do anything to protect it. Luckily before anything could happen, Armin spoke up.

“Let’s take this somewhere else, sitting around Eren’s grave while he’s right here is creepy.”, he forced an awkward laugh, “Mikasa, you take Eren and head back to your cabin. I and the others will make a quick stop in the city, pick up some food and drinks and join you there. Hell, we must celebrate!”

It was obvious that the tension had to be broken, so no one protested. With a last dangerous look at Reiner, Mikasa walked away, hand clutching Eren’s. And Armin held, he held until they were far enough until he broke.

The grass was soft beneath him as he fell down to his knees, hands clutching his head.

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.”, the word was a mantra, repeated over and over as the reality truly sunk in, “This is so fucked.”

It was he who needed saving now, and Annie stepped up. Walking over to him, she pulled Armin back to his feet and then into a hug.

“It will be okay, it will be okay.”, she repeated into his shoulder, offering all the support that she could.

Behind them, Pieck helped Reiner stand while Jean and Connie exchanged a look, feeling ignored. When Annie pulled Armin back from the brink and Reiner put himself back together, the group headed back towards the civilization but this time the mood was entirely different. Armin was walking deep in thought, clutching Annie’s hand like a lifeline. Reiner’s expression was haunted, the old fears kept at bay creeping back in. Pieck patted her pockets only to find out that she was out of cigarettes, her usually cheerful smile turned upside down. Jean and Connie were the rear guards, their heads still trying to wrap around the situation. Silence, that ruled the group until they reached the edge of the city, the concrete making Armin turn.

“Guess I don’t have to tell you this, but not a word about Eren to anyone.”

There was a collective agreeing murmur.

“And about the situation…”, Armin sighed, “Reiner, you are right, him coming back is a huge issue. The second the information gets out the Yeagerists will immediately jump him, put him on the pedestal and use him to launch a crusade against the rest of the world. Mikasa is stronger than all of us, but she’s just one woman, she can’t protect him on her own. Obviously, we can’t let them have him, that cannot happen.”

He raised a finger.

“But. We are most definitely not killing Eren again, understood?”

“Yeah,”, Jean agreed, “Once was more than enough. He might be a suicidal blockhead but he’s still my f-friend.”

Yes, the last word was a stammer because Jean just called a man who killed eighty percent of the population his friend, still it was the truth, a bitter one.

“Would be easier if the Ackerman girl wasn’t so obsessed with him.”, Pieck muttered, but to everyone’s surprise was cut off by Annie.

“Obsessed? She’s not obsessed, she loves him.”, her hold on Armin’s hand tightened, “Love is beautiful.”

That shut Pieck up for now, yet her eyes were still calculating. Squeezing Annie’s hand back, Armin smiled at his fiancé before continuing.

“I will figure something out. For now, focus on the fact that our friend is alive, and we must celebrate that.”

Speech finished, Armin turned and headed towards the city, soon flanked by everyone else. After a short discussion on what do they even want to buy, Connie brought up wine, because drinking was now very high on the list of things he wanted to do. Jean was in favor of something stronger, and Pieck needed a new pack of cigarettes, so in the end the group split up, agreeing to meet in the square in half an hour.

The road ahead was treacherous, swimming in front of Connie’s eyes as he walked. Everything he knew, everything that he took for granted in those last three years was just turned upside down. A part of him was happy that Eren was back, a part of him was worried about what that might mean, and a small part of him was even angry. If Eren came back, why couldn’t Sasha? Why couldn’t Hange or Erwin? They didn’t deserve to die either…

But he couldn’t be mad at Eren. He did everything in his power to help them, to protect his friends against the cruel world, and allow Paradis to survive in the future. He even returned Connie’s mother to him, a fact that he was eternally grateful for. Still, the combination of all those feelings brought his legs back into an automatic mode, and he was entering Niccolo’s restaurant without even thinking about it.

Well, this could work, his friend always stocked some good wine.

Pushing the door open, Connie entered, seeing that there was quite a crowd inside. Not much of a surprise, as Niccolo’s place was popular. And still, the owner noticed him immediately.

“Connie!”, he shouted, pushing past his guests to hug him, “Man am I glad to see you.”

Normally, there would be a sort of ritual. They would sit down and drink, talk about what was happening, about Connie’s mission for a peaceful world and Niccolo’s restaurant he had with the Braus family. And as the bottles emptied they would end up talking about Sasha, remembering their dear comrade and crying on each other’s shoulder. But today was not such a day.

“Nicco, I’m so sorry but can I trouble you for a few bottles of wine? I need it for…”

“Mikasa.”, he understood immediately, “Today is the anniversary of his passing.”

“Is that why this place is so full?”

“Of course, Yeagerists love to celebrate.”

“Didn’t Eren get defeated today? Why are they celebrating that?”

“Eh, it's more like a promise to get revenge, a ritual in the honor of their war god to appease him.”, Niccolo rolled his eyes, “Pile of rubbish if you ask me, but their money is as good as anyone’s.”

He clapped Connie on the shoulder.

“Wait here, I’ll bring out something extra for you.”

Leaning on the counter, Connie let his eyes scan over the guests, noticing the number of uniforms. There were even some familiar faces, Hitch and Rico among others, and Connie was glad that Jean did not come here. Hitch had taken a liking to Jean lately, and it was difficult to separate her from him once she was attached.

The click of glass against wood woke him, noticing the vintage-looking bottles.

“One of my best.”, Niccolo said proudly, “Give them to Mikasa with my regards. I’ll probably drop by her cabin soon, a surprise visit with some of my homecooked food will cheer her up.”

The heart went cold in Connie’s chest, imagining what would happen if Niccolo came into Mikasa’s house and saw Eren standing there, very much alive and kicking.

“I-I don’t think that’s a good idea.”, he stammered, “I’d probably send a letter first or something, she didn’t look like she wants visitors.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks for the info, last thing I want is to make her uncomfortable.”, Niccolo’s face fell, “The poor girl suffered enough.”

Collecting the wine and thanking the cook again, Connie reunited with the others and together they walked, all the way to Mikasa’s secluded cabin. It wasn’t a short road but they were all former soldiers, easily crossing the distance even with Jean’s light complaining.

There was food on the outside table, ready to host them, but the woman who owned the place was busy. Busy with being seated in Eren’s lap on the bench, their faces pressed together. Not that Armin blamed her, they had a lot of catching up to do.

“Two minutes.”, Pieck remarked out loud, disturbing their moment, “Two minutes with no god damn kissing, is that too much to ask?”

Red-cheeked, Mikasa jumped down from Eren’s lap, yet her giddy expression quickly changed once her eyes found Reiner. Before she could terrorize him again, he held up his hands in surrender.

“Mikasa, I promise that I won’t try anything stupid, all right?”

She huffed in satisfaction and nodded, their short feud put to rest. The bottle of wine Reiner held towards her felt like a peace offering and Mikasa accepted it, pulling the cork out with her fingers alone, not having any issues. Damn.

Alcohol is truly humanity’s friend. With both the wine and the stronger stuff Jean picked up, the awkwardness and tension melted away, and Mikasa didn’t feel this relaxed ever since their drinking adventure in the refugee camp. Understandable, one could say, since the next time period was filled with literal apocalypse they had to stop. Not everyone made it, she knew, raising a glass in Sasha’s name, a toast that everyone joined. Another one was made for Hange.

And yet It was different in a better way. Eren was here, they were together, and Mikasa was free to do all the little couple things she always wanted - sitting on his lap or playing with his hair, stealing small kisses that made Pieck groan when she saw them. Mikasa was so happy that it felt like a dream. In the end, the emotional stress combined with her tiredness and Mikasa parked herself at the bench, watching her friends with a smile. It was no longer melancholic, it was no longer the feelings of a woman who was missing a huge part of herself because that part was returned, it came home. Now, it was a smile made of pure joy.

The group fell apart into smaller units, courtesy of the night slowly creeping in, and Eren joined Armin and Annie where they sat, staring into the fire.

“I believe that congratulations are in order.”, the ring on Annie’s finger glistened in the light, easily explaining what Eren meant.

“Thanks…”, Annie took a swig, her eyes not leaving Eren’s face, “I still can’t believe that you are alive.”

“Trust me, there are days when I do not believe it either.”

“Do you think that you deserve it?”, now it was Armin speaking, his voice slurred from the alcohol yet clear, “Back in the paths, you told me that you could never live with yourself, you didn’t want me to even try and bring you back. What changed?”

“You couldn’t have done anything, my body was dead and my mind was ruined by the founding titan. I had no understanding of time anymore, past, present and future blended into a mix.”, his fingers clutched the bottle tighter, “It is so terrifying for time to lose its meaning.”

Not wanting to crush the glass, Eren carefully eased his hold before continuing.

“I meant every word that I told you back then. I didn’t want to die, but it felt like the only way, I was damaged beyond repair. Only when the paths started collapsing, and all the memories began to die, I realized one thing.”, his eyes moved over to where Mikasa was sitting, “I could not let myself forget her. Ever.”

A chuckle from Annie.

“Gosh, you have it bad.”

Eren didn’t even bother with denying it, turning back to Armin instead.

“To answer your question, I still don’t think that I deserve to live. I have done things that can never be forgiven, I have destroyed this world.”

“Then why.”, Armin whispered, “Why do you live?”

“Because I was given another chance. Undeserved, but I got it, and I will not let it go to waste. War and death are the farthest things on my mind right now because I have a new goal in life.”, a tip of his bottle towards Mikasa, “I lived my first life for myself, and I will live the second one for her. There is only one thing I want, and that is making that girl the happiest that I can, every single day.”

“I’m not so sure that the world will let you do that. You may have died but your ideas went on, Eren, and not in a good way.”

“The Yeagerists?”

“Strong and growing stronger. Imagine how aggressive they would get the moment they knew that you are alive. Imagine the death and destruction your living will cause.”

“I do not want that, any of it.”

Armin gave him a tight smile.

“Sadly, that is the problem with gods. Their message can be twisted by the prophets.”

The heavy ocean gaze dropping back towards the fire, Eren understood the message and stood up, leaving the pair alone. They were right, of course, his life was bound to cause ripples, considering how important his death was. Yet there was no way in hell that he was ever leaving Mikasa alone again. As long as she would want him, he would be right there by her side. Forever.

Eren let his eyes graze over Reiner and the smoking Pieck but decided not to join them. The blond’s expression was still haunted and the girl’s guarded. They were never his friends, only enemies, they were brought together with the scouts by sheer necessity and Eren had to remember that. His return would cause a lot of trouble, and for Pieck and Reiner it was most definitely not worth it. So instead of poking the wasps' nest, Eren went over to the table where Connie was snoring with Jean at his side. The latter was watching the liquor in the bottle, frowning at the reflections, but he did look up when Eren sat down.

“Eren.”

“Jean.”

“Aah, it’s good to have you back.”

“Is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… My return must have caused quite a disturbance in your…”, Eren nodded his head towards Mikasa, “plans.”

“Do you really think so low of me?”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I was dead, and you liked Mikasa for a long time.”

“Sure, but you aren’t dead anymore.”

“Good point,”, Eren raised his bottle, “I’ll drink to that.”

A clear clink produced by the glass invaded Connie’s dreams and he mumbled something, drooling on the table. Putting his bottle back down, Jean tapped it against the wood.

“You know, I don’t feel that way anymore.”

“Is that so…”

“Or maybe I do, but it's different.”, Jean sighed, “Look, you didn’t see her, Mikasa was an incredible wreck after you died. My own heart was bleeding just from seeing her, and even after she moved on she always broke when near your grave.”

A pang of guilt in Eren’s chest, growing stronger when Jean kept talking.

“She loves you, you dumb blockhead, she loves you so much that I can’t put it into words correctly and yet you kept being an asshole to her for so long. Fuck, I want to punch you.”

“Then go ahead, I promise I won’t fight back. I deserve it.”

And Jean almost did it, but then he remembered how Mikasa reacted when Reiner only implied hurting Eren, and his hand fell back to his side. Call him a pussy, but Jean didn’t feel like dying today.

“Maybe another time.”

The bottle caught the light as Eren twirled it in his fingers, obviously putting together another sentence.

“Listen, Jean, if I didn’t come back, if I stayed dead, would you make a move on her?”

And he thought about it, long and hard, put his drunk brain to work, and came up with a plausible theory.

“I guess I would, once she would heal. Mikasa is an amazing and well, incredibly beautiful woman, and I do like her. But that is meaningless now. If there is one thing I like more than Mikasa it’s seeing her happy, and your return made her the happiest that she ever was. This thing between me and you? That was never a competition. Her eyes were only for you, bastard, a blind man would see that. ”

“Well, I guess that you could call me blind.”, Eren chuckled.

“Blind and stupid, you are lucky that Mikasa has enough brains for both of you.”, Jean gestured with his bottle, “Go, go back to her, I feel like passing out now.”

And pass out he did, head hitting the table and bottle falling on the grass. Leaving his friends to rest, Eren crossed the distance to the bench, sitting down next to the woman with a red scarf and offering her his lap, an invitation that she took and climbed into.

Together they watched the stars but didn’t sleep, lost in each other’s presence while their friends snored all around them. Armin and Annie huddled together by the embers, Jean and Connie by the table, Reiner curled on the ground and Pieck that somehow managed to fall asleep in a sitting position, a burned cigarette butt between her fingers.  The night was warm enough, there was no need to disturb their rest.

Hours passed yet Eren still didn’t feel tired, stargazing with the girl in his arms that meant more to him than all those lights in the sky combined. When the sun began to peek over the horizon, Eren broke the silence.

“Hey, Mikasa.”

She half turned in his arms, letting Eren see a part of her smile.

“Hm?”

“What am I to you?”

“Oh no,”, she giggled, shaking her head, “not this again.”

“Come on,”, nose sliding over her shoulder, Eren nudged her, “Tell me.”

It took a bit more persuasion from his side, but in the end she gave in. Fully turning on Eren’s lap, Mikasa took his face in her hands, pressing their foreheads together.

“If you need to know, then I will stand behind what I carved on the headstone.”, her lips came even closer, hot air washing over Eren’s as she spoke softly only for them to hear, “You are my most beloved, my dear.”

She kissed him, he kissed her, and everything was great until a bottle shattered on the wall, one that someone threw at them, albeit very inaccurately.

“Two. Minutes.”, Pieck groaned, “Damn you!”

The sound woke Connie up, jerking awake.

“I need to piss real bad.”

That was all he said before darting towards the forest.

The commotion eventually roused everyone, and the ragtag group had a small breakfast before saying their goodbyes.

“You know I’m super happy that you are alive, but please don’t do anything rash.”, Armin was saying, clutching Eren’s hand, “I promise that I will think of something. In the meantime, the Yeagerists can’t catch wind of you. Even worse, imagine what the rest of the world would do if they knew.”

Mikasa’s cabin was secluded, the risk was low but it was there, and Armin was feeling uneasy about this whole setup. Yet there was nothing better to be done. It would be an interesting meeting with the queen when the ambassadors were all nursing throbbing headaches, yet one does not keep Historia Reiss waiting. Apologizing for the mess they left, and Mikasa was once again alone. If one didn’t count the man that was supposed to be dead, that is.

They cleaned the bottles together, working in unison achieved by years and years of working under captain Levi. After that it was finally time to get some rest, but when Eren entered the cabin a certain fact came to the light. Mikasa had only one bedroom, as she was living alone, which presented a potential problem.

“I can take the couch.”, he offered immediately, never in his life wanting to push her into something she wouldn’t want.

All Mikasa did was tighten the hold on his hand, pulling him towards the bedroom.

“You died, came back to me, and still you want to hide behind those walls? I meant it when I said that I want to be with you, all of you, so please stop this nonsense. You claimed that you loved me, so give in to those feelings, nothing is stopping us from doing so anymore.”

It must have been the remnants of the alcohol that made Mikasa this bold, yet the slight blush was present on her cheeks anyway. That subtle pink dusting was incredibly endearing and Eren had to kiss it, making her redden even harder.

“Lead the way.”

Entranced by her graceful movements, by her ethereal beauty, Eren allowed himself to be pulled into that single bedroom, eyes only for the girl he loved so much that the feeling brought him back to life.

Literally.

#eremika #fanfic #snk #139 spoilers #copium

[smeraldos]

Cheers

Summary: In a time of shoulder pads and tight deadlines, no one gives you the time of day. Good thing silver linings exist, like your annoyingly perceptive co-worker.

retro office!AU

Characters: Taehyung x Reader

Word count: 1K+

Notes: ‘70s slang: jiving = kidding, stone cold fox = a person who's beyond attractive Computer Space: space combat arcade video game Shakespeare refs: Viola disguises herself as a young man (Cesario) in Twelfth Night...basically if you’ve watched She’s The Man, you get the gist.

“All the world’s a stage,/And all the men and women merely players...” - As You Like It

"How's our employee of the month?" 

Without looking up, you know Taehyung has stopped by, leaning against your cubicle like usual. He's the only one who calls you that. To everyone else, the best is Jeongguk: choice analyst, Wharton wonder-whiz, second to none. 

You’re just "a team player." Sweet talk for lackey. You do the work no one else wants to do, but this evening, your boss caved and assigned you the report he'd normally give Jeongguk. The bad thing: he'd informed you on a Friday night, so you still haven't gone out for dinner.

Taehyung dangles a Kit Kat in front of your screen.

You dismiss it with a swat, making it drop on your keyboard with a clack. Now the debt your client owes is 1343400000000 bucks.

Stellar.

"Shoot," Taehyung says, rushing over the second you bury your face into your palms. "Sorry, I--" 

His apology dies when you uncover your face, laughing. 

"What are you sorry for," you ask lightly, gesturing to your screen. "Look at those zeroes. It's like we've won the fricking lotto."

Hesitantly, Taehyung takes a glance. His handsome face -- yes, you admit he's a stone cold fox (although the hottest thing you’ve seen of late was your monitor burning up) -- is devoid of humor.

"Oh, come on," you insist. "I can fix this in a jiffy. Why don't you ask me that question? The one we always joke about."

Instead, Taehyung offers you a look soft with concern. “What’s wrong?” He asks.

"Work, obviously.” You lay your head on the desk, too tired to open up your heart like Pandora's box. “My life. You not asking the right question."

"Fine. You want me to ask you how it feels to win a million?”

“Feels like a scam, thank you."

Taehyung sighs, claiming Jeongguk’s seat next to you. "You can't keep doing this, _______. Take a break."

"Tell that to Jeongguk."

"He isn't here."

"That's funny, I didn’t notice," you say, and it’s cruel, but you don’t care. You’re sick of being in Jeongguk’s shadow. "You should get going, too. Wouldn't want to be left behind with the bottom feeder."

Swiftly, you sit up, correcting the debt and letting the formulas do the trick. When you reach over to click on another sheet, you realize your mouse isn't there. Or anywhere under your desk, for that matter.

"Taehyung," you bite out, "stop jiving. Give me back my mouse."

"You're not a bottom feeder."

"Thanks. Now give it here." You pin him with a look that leaves no room for leeway, holding out your hand expectantly.

He places his on top. "I'm being serious."

"So am I." 

"Listen,” he says, “you're not Jeongguk."

"Clearly,” you quip. “Life would be a lot easier if I were."

Again, Taehyung sighs, visibly exasperated. "Jeongguk this, Jeongguk that. You’ve gotta stop putting him on some pedestal and beating yourself up because you can’t be like him. You’re ruining your own worth, you know.”

"Like I have any to begin with,” you scoff. “No one thinks, Oh, _______, now there’s a woman I respect. No one. Shelley is the only other woman in the office and she's been at this gig for years. She's always giving me flack. I know she's angling for a promotion that should have happened a long time ago and everything's a competition, but I can't survive being me. I just can't." Outside your window, diners and disco clubs dazzle the night, washed out by the glare of your office. The stupid fluorescence is too strong, imposing a reflection of your cubicle onto the city.

"I know it’s not much," Taehyung starts, giving your hand a brief squeeze, "but if it's respect you want, you already have it. Let me give you my two cents, too?"

“Sure."

"Don't play their game. If you stick with Jeongguk’s level when it was meant to hold you back, you won't win." “So you're saying I'll lose?” There's an edge to your voice. Taehyung, of all people, should know the last thing you need is a friend shooting your hopes down.

"Think about what their game is based on in the first place. A system where men and women have equal value or one where women would always mean less?"

"That's why I'm fighting," you counter. "I have to prove them wrong."

"It's hard to prove anything when they're set on keeping you down."

"But I can try."

"Aren't you doing that already? And how did that turn out?" "I can't believe you," you seethe, ignoring the tears pricking your eyes. "I’ve worked way too hard for you to reduce it to nothing, you--" "I know,” he cuts in, gentle. “I know. You've worked your tail off, and no one deserves more credit than you. But if they won't admit that, if they see nothing, what's the point of playing their game?"

You don't want to know. All this time, you'd thought the best way to be seen was to beat the men at their own work, and that meant besting Jeongguk, who almost all your colleagues seem to worship. You'd adopted a tone as brisk as you walked, ditched your collar dresses for crisp pantsuits (the stiffer the shoulder pads, the better), and timed your work so you'd always finish before Jeongguk. Lately, your efforts seemed to bear fruit: you were invited to meetings and then there was the report your boss assigned. But having a foot in the door meant little when you had to act like a man for it. They still ushered you to the back, anyway, and no one asked for your opinion, let alone remembered your name or what you did. They just didn't care. And that hurt more than sticks and stones ever will.

"Nothing, alright?" You tell Taehyung at last, wiping your tears bitterly. "I get it now. All the world's a stage and I played the fool."

"Not the fool," he disagrees, taking your mouse out of Jeongguk’s drawer and plugging it back into your computer, "Cesario. And now you get to be Viola again."

Trust Taehyung to know you're referring to Shakespeare. You smile, shaking your head, and he pulls you up into a hug. 

"Welcome back, _______," he says. "Let’s celebrate with a round of Computer Space? It’s on me."

You laugh into his shoulder. “You’re such a sore loser, Kim.”

"Bogus. I wasn't playing seriously last time."

"We’ll see about that.”

#bangtanarmynet #taehyung x you #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x reader #taehyung scenarios #taehyung imagine #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #bts au fic #bts au #bts fluff #bts angst #my fic

[yikesharringrove]

hello! i know you’re on a break and you don’t have to write this but i just thought of this and i’m a little obsessed with the idea so i thought i’d share! Imagine Olympian Steve and Billy, like snowboarder Billy and ice skater Steve (who could also be non-binary or gender non conforming) ?? and they are both super dedicated and they meet at the olympics one year and just hit it off, start dating in secret beacuse they don’t want the press that comes with being a olympic couple (part 1)

(part 2) and the only people that know are close friends but then when they show up for the olympics a few years after they met something happens to one of them, my thought is Billy totally crashes and gets hurt and steve doesn’t even know until after he preformed and he’s sitting with his coach and a reporter is giving an update on billy’s condition and steve overhears it and just breaks down, and people are filming him just sobbing his eyes out... (part 3) Steve ends up getting in the top three but they can barley stand on the podium they are so freaked out nobody’s telling them anything and he can’t even pull the significant other card to go see him because then he’s outing them and it’s very awful meanwhile Billy, whose doing pretty good just like a broken arm or something, is sitting in a hospital bed watching steve preform and being very proud and hen promptly freaking out because steve is suddenly bawling... (part 4) finally steve is able to go see billy and they are literally so relived to see he’s doing ok but they are both big time emotional and the internet is already theorizing about why steve was so freaked out so they decide to come out about their relationship and steve just plans on like casually mentioning it during an interview but billy decides to be extra and proposed to steve on live tv, they end up crying a lot more but obviously say yes (sorry this was so long)

-

This request has awakened my deep seeded LOVE of Shaun White. He was one of my first famous people crushes back when he was mostly skateboarding and let me TELL YOU the most recent winter olympic games, when he made his come back, and he almost didn’t get gold, but then he DID and the announcer went “the flying tomato flew again tonight!” I LOST IT!!!1

Plus I like the winter games more than the summer ones 🤷‍♀️

The beginning is loosely based off the fact that the Olympic Village is apparently just like, one big orgy the whole time lmao

-

“Well, aren’t you a pretty little thing.”

Billy, of course, knew who Steve Harrington is. His eyes had been glued to the screen in the PT room as he watched Steve compete, sakting beautifully in the Men’s Individuals to earn silver and make it look easy, helping the U.S. team to earn overall gold.

Granted, Billy had walked away with golds in slopestyle and halfpipe, and he wanted to celebrate.

Steve turned to Billy, dark eyes flicking over him.

“No thank you.” They turned back around, finishing their drink and placing the empty cup on the bar top.

“I’m, sorry?”

“I said no thank you.”

“No thank you to what?”

“To having sex with you.”

“I never said anything about having sex?”

“You slid over here, called me pretty, and gave me hard bedroom eyes. You wanna plow me, and I’m just not in the mood.” They went to push past Billy, put he took their wrist, holding loosely.

“Look, I’m sorry. I really did just come over to talk. I respect the hell out of you. You’re incredibly talented and just came onto the scene. I mean, this is your first Olympics, right?” They glanced at him through their lashes, nodding slowly. “I took me, like two games before I even got bronze. You’re a fucking good athlete. Just wanted to say.” He let go of their wrist. They bit their lip.

“You wanna buy me a drink? Keep telling me what a good athlete I am?” Billy grinned as they slip back into their stool.

-

Billy threw himself onto the couch, head resting in Steve’s lap. He groaned loudly, tracking Steve’s face for some kind of response.

He groaned again, louder this time. Steve bit their lip, trying not to laugh as they watched the tv.

He groaned one more time.

“Oh, gosh, Billy. Didn’t even notice you down here.”

They had stayed up all night that first night they met in person, had talked for hours about how they found their respective sports, what growing up was like.

Steve came from a little town in the Midwest. A little town in the Midwest that bred hockey players like nowhere else. Steve’s father had put them in hockey when they were young enough to stand on skates, but then Steve started showing a rapidly growing interest in figure skating, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Billy was always a skateboarder at heart. He grew up in California, bumming around the Venice Beach skate park with his friends whenever they could, skipping school to grind rails. And then his dad got married, and uprooted the whole family, moving them a few states over to fucking Utah. Billy figured snowboarding was close enough to skating that he could figure it out. So he did. And he loved it.

He and Steve had moved in together three years ago, almost exactly a year into their relationship. Steve wanted to begin working with a new coach, so Billy packed up his boards, and moved his shit back to California, Billy training most days at Mammoth Mountain.

“My body hurts.” He had been training hard, they both had, as the games were fast approaching.

“I mean, do you want me to actually help, or do you want me to help?” Steve’s long fingers were trailing along Billy’s chest. Billy just groaned.

“I gotta go ice. You can help later.” He tugged Steve down to press a kiss to their lips, heading off to fill the bathtub with ice, sink down low into it.

The opening ceremony was in less than two weeks, and Billy was fucking excited. He was in peak shape, had been perfecting his backside triple 1440 nosegrab.

He stretched out his sore muscles in the ice, made a mental note to get in with his PT tomorrow.

-

It had been a grueling week.

Billy had Steve had barely seen one another in between training and PT appointments and competing.

And of course the Men’s Figure Skating Final took place a few hours after the Men’s Slopestyle Final. Billy had already secured gold in the halfpipe.

Steve was sitting in their skates, stretching out before heading out to the ice.

They cleared their mind, going over their program again and again.

They got ready to take the ice.

They flew through their program, hitting every jump, every spin beautifully, trying not to cry as they left the ice.They knew they had fucking nailed it.

They stood, waiting for their marks.

“Steve! Steve! Have you heard about Billy Hargrove’s fall!” Steve’s head whipped around, staring at the reporter. “Aren’t you two friends?”

“Stevie, don’t pay them attention.” Their coach was trying to steer them away from the gaggle of cameras.

“No, I gotta, what happened to Billy?” They were trying to push back to the reporters. “What happened to Billy?”

“He fell in the slopestyle final! Had to be taken off in a gurney!” One of the reporters shouted back. Steve crumbled, let their coach take some of their weight.

“Steve, focus on your run.” They were shaking as they were led back to the bench, had tears streaming down their face.

“But, is Billy okay?” They didn’t even listen as their score was announced, as the crowd went fucking crazy for their gold metal.

And all Steve wanted was to get to Billy, to see if he was okay.

They were dragged on shaking legs to the podium, their face went, their hands trembling.

They had to stand there, listen to the U.S. National Anthem without fucking collapsing. They didn’t even give a fuck that they were ugly crying on international television.

And they couldn’t just say get me the FUCK to my boyfriend.

-

Billy was sitting in a hospital bed, his arm in a plaster cast

He had fucked up his elbow, completely dislocating it as he fell onto the hard snow. He was livid with himself for fucking up his slope style, was guaranteed at least bronze, but had come in sixth due to his nasty spill.

But he watched from the medical center as Steve skated so fucking perfectly in the finals, had set a new record for themself, the highest score they had ever gotten with an absolutely gorgeous program.

But something was, something was wrong with the way they stood on the pedestal, their tears were not celebratory as they appeared to be working themself into a panic.

And all Billy wanted was to get to Steve, to see if they were okay.

-

“Bill, oh my fucking God.” Steve just about threw themself onto Billy’s bed. They were fucking sobbing into his lap.

“Stevie, I’m okay. I’m good.”

“All they, all they said was the you were hurt, had to be taken off the course in a stretcher.”

“Yeah, I smashed myself pretty hard. But I’m okay. They fixed it.” Steve’s eyes were still all watery, made them looker even bigger.

“I just, I wanted to fucking scream at everyone to let me get to my boyfriend.” Billy trailed one hand down Steve’s face, just delicate fingers touching soft skin.

“We could tell people, if you want.” Billy had been extremely private about his sexuality throughout his career. He still had trouble coming to terms with himself, still had trouble getting his thoughts and feelings out from under his father’s thumb.

“We don’t have to.” Steve, on the other hand, had been sick of getting misgendered in interviews, had come out publicly with an Instagram post, a cute mirror selfie in a full face of makeup, a little yellow sundress Billy loved, and caption that just read They/Them.

“I want to. Want to tell the whole world how much I love you.”

-

Steve’s idea was just to mention it casually in an interview.

They had a string of interviews after their gold medal win, after they broke a personal record today.

But Billy had another plan.

He’s had the ring for close to eight months at this point, was just biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment.

And as he sat there, watching Steve smile so pretty at the reporter, he realized.

Now’s the time.

“You were extremely emotional on the stand after accepting your gold medal. Walk me through what you were feeling.”

“To be honest, it didn’t even register that I had won, and broken a personal score record. Someone had just informed me that my boyfriend had gotten hurt during the slopestyle finals, and I didn’t know if he was okay.”

“Your boyfriend? Billy Hargrove, then.”

“Yeah. I just heard he was in the hospital as I was waiting for my scores and I just kinda, kinda lost it.” Steve’s eyes trailed over to meet Billy’s, standing in the studio behind the camera.

He was holding the ring tightly in his hand, the one that wasn’t in a bulky cast.

Now or never.

“So, you and Billy Hargrove are currently in a relationship. How long has that been going on?” Steve gestured at Billy to join them on the couch. One of the crew members gestured for him to join them on the couch.

So he walked over, settled right in next to Steve.

“Since the last winter games, actually. That’s when we first met.” Billy grinned at Steve, leaned over to kiss them on the cheek. His palms were sweaty.

“Congratulations to you both!” Billy took a deep breath.

“It’s been really great! We live together and everything. Have a chubby little cat. The whole nine.”

The reporter laughed along with them, Billy’s leg was shaking.

“It’s easier dating an athlete, I think. They understand the rigor you got through training, how you put your body through Hell because you’re passionate about it.” Steve was using their hands to explain. Billy took a deep breath.

“So, you two have been completely quiet about your romantic relationship for these four years you’ve been together. Why did you choose to keep private, and why are you going public now?”

“Well, it was really hard for me when I heard Billy got hurt. I couldn’t just pull the significant other card to find out more information.”

“And we chose to stay private for a multitude of reasons. We mainly just wanted our careers to be the focus of our media attention and not our relationship.” Billy and Steve had spoken extensively about what they were going to say in the interview. Billy was incredibly private, didn’t really want to get into the whole my father physically abused me for being gay and I still have trouble accepting myself thing on public television. So they glossed over it.

“But things are going well?”

Now or never.

Billy’s heart was pounding in his ears. He could barely hear Steve over the sound of his own blood rushing. Was just able to tell when he finished speaking.

“It’s been a wonderful few years. In fact, it’s been so good, that, uh, I want it to never stop.” He took a deep breath. And slid off the couch.

Steve gasped as Billy settled on one knee on the floor, they had tears in their eyes when Billy smiled up at them, presented the pretty gold ring.

“Sweet Thing, you are the best thing to ever happen. You are kind, and compassionate, and so dedicated. I love everything about you, from how graceful you are on the ice, to how silly you are when it’s just the two of us. You are so perfect to me. I want my life to be exactly like these past four years have been, full of love, and laughter, and those snicker doodles you make just because you know I love them.”

Steve was openly bawling, clutching hands with the reporter.

“So, Stevie. Will you marry me?”

Steve launched themself at Billy, kissing his face, breathing yes yes yes into his skin, just barely remembering to mind his sore arm.

Billy took shaky breaths as he slid the ring on Steve’s finger.

-

Steve was tucked under Billy’s arm as they headed back to his room.

“I thought we had decided to just like, casually come out. I can’t believe you fucking proposed on live t.v.” Steve was staring at their ring.

“Been thinkin’ of proposals that are good enough for you for months. Figured, you know, might as well.”

“You coulda given me a Ring Pop in an alley outside of a biker bar and I still woulda said yes.”

“Yeah, but that clip has probably already gone viral. Now you can watch it whenever you wanna feel soft.” Steve scrambled for their phone, nose practically pressed against it as they looked for the clip.

Billy just laughed, shaking his head as he unlocked the door.

#yikes writes #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble

[razieltwelve]

Final Earth Exports (Final Earth)

Final Earth is an AU in which Vanille accidentally opens a portal to an Earth very similar to ours by accident. The main differences is that nothing associated with the Final Rose universe (e.g., RWBY, Final Fantasy, etc.) exists there and they don’t have the same political leaders we do.

For the Children of Remnant, Earth is a veritable gold mine. There are huge quantities of resources (e.g., raw materials, food, etc.) and comparatively little danger. Obviously, Earth isn’t perfect, but we’re also not locked in existential battle against a bunch of monsters that spend all of their free time wondering how they can kill us all more efficiently. To get at those resources, what could Remnant export to Earth?

Let’s have a look at some possibilities.

Energy Simply put, Remnant is centuries ahead of Earth in power production. Final Earth is set when Fraise is in her twenties, so Remnant already has access to not only hyper-efficient fission reactors but also fusion reactors of all kinds. As in, they literally have portable fusion reactors and fusion reactors that can be scaled from small enough to fit into a closet to large enough to power entire continents. They’ve also got a functional orbital solar collection system/death ray.

Imagine you’re Australia (the portal opens up to the middle of the Australian desert). Now, one of the things people complain about the most is cost of living, and a big part of that is electricity. If Remnant were to build a power plant for Australia, they could massively reduce the cost of electricity. This would benefit not only regular people but also industry and commerce. Moreover, Australia’s political leaders would love it.

Want to get re-elected? Tell everybody the cost of electricity is going down by at least 75% and watch the votes just roll in, not to mention the reduction in the cost of goods and services. With drones to aid construction techniques, they could have a hyper-efficient fission reactor or a fusion reactor built in months, maybe less.

Medical Care One of the few upsides of waging existential war for centuries is advancements in medical technology. As long as you’re not dead, there’s very little that Remnant can’t fix. Earth humans are actually easier to fix since they don’t have complex Aura circulatory systems or anything like that.

Setting aside medical science, there are also a whole heap of Semblances like Fraise that would, by Earth standards, be considered miracles. 

Not only would exporting medical care be extremely profitable it would also be another fantastic means of securing political support. Again, any leader would leap at the chance to be able to tell their constituents that all those medical problems they have can now be dealt with. This might sound awful, but can you imagine what it would do for a leader’s polling numbers if they could point at Remnant and say to people: don’t worry, that terminal illness you’ve got, that paralysis you’ve got? No problems. They can fix it. Just vote for me, and I’ll get the deal done.

Reproductive Science The cost of fertility treatment is enormous and results are not guaranteed. That’s not an issue for Remnant. Give them two people, and they’ll have a baby ready to go before you know it. Like the other exports, this is another automatic win in the public relations department (you just know Jihl and Jahne are going to push this angle hard).

Transport Remnant has way more advanced transport like actual flying warships, transports, etc. I can think of plenty of world leaders who might want a stealth capable aircraft that can manoeuvre like a more agile helicopter but packs the speed of a fighter jet and the range of a commercial jetliner. 

Tourism Let’s be blunt. People like cute and awesome stuff. Remnant has plenty of both. I’m sure people would pay handsomely to get to ride a chocobo or to see some of the wildlife in Remnant. It’s like Jurassic park except instead of just giant reptiles, you can get giant tigers, giant rats, giant birds, giant... everything, basically.

Culture Earth loves heroes. We make sportspeople, celebrities, and so on into heroes and put them up on pedestals. How might Earth people react when they have a chance to see actual superheroes with actual superpowers in action? I have a sneaking suspicion that hunters will become super popular on Earth, and that tournament and hunting footage will make piles of money. And that’s not counting other aspects of Remnant’s culture and civilisation that might be popular. Yes, you know what I’m talking about. Remnant has actual cat girls. The internet would explode.

Weapons Yeah, Remnant kind of has the whole weapons thing down. Even if they don’t give out their most up to date weaponry, they’re still decades, maybe even further ahead of Earth. After all, this is a civilisation that has functional laser weapons, mechs, aerial warships, rail guns, plasma weapons, orbital death rays, etc.

Mercenaries There are plenty of battles being fought on Earth. Can you imagine what even a lower-level hunter would be able to do on the battlefield? Heck, imagine what the average student at Beacon would do to human opponents who don’t have Aura. It’d be like sending superheroes out to fight civilians.

Of course, you could also go a step further. Imagine someone like Snow being deployed onto a battlefield. That blue giant of his is capable of standing up to nukes and has attacks that are considered weapons of mass destruction. Imagine Lumina taking the field. Imagine Elsa.

Other Services This is a category that kind of lumps together all of the other stuff Remnant can do that Earth can’t. Take someone like Elsa. Do you have a weather problem? Is your country suffering from draught or about to be hit by blizzards/hurricanes? No problem. Pay the fee, get it fixed. Quick and easy. Guaranteed. Have a science issue? Vanille and her lab can get it handled. Want someone to interrogate your suspects? Pay the right price, and Jihl has you sorted.

Gary No world is safe.

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Earth meeting Remnant would be fascinating. Of all the nations on Remnant, I think Atlas would be the most interested since they have the most difficult position in terms of territory and resources. It’s a good thing they’ve got Jihl to go snooping around for deals. It’s not like she won’t take shameless advantage of the situation...

If you’re interested in my thoughts on writing and other topics, you can find those here.

I also write original fiction, which you can find on Amazon here or on Audible here.

#final rose #final earth #fanfiction

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 7th, Saturday 14:20

„Happy birthday!!“

„Thank you so much, can I be celebrated for days now every year? I really enjoy this.“ Jens joked as he stepped into the livingroom following Senne who had let him and Lotte in.

They even had put up a glittery banner and had a couple of colourful balloons grazing the floor. There was a set table and a cake filled with candles to the brim. Probably exactly 18 and Jens was pretty sure he would not be able to blow them all out at once. They all wore these tiny party hat cones on their heads, Lotte loving hers the minute it was put on when they entered.

„Next year were aren’t celebrating at all to equal it out, so you better make the most of it today.“ Sander declared getting up from his shared sofa with robbe, moving over to pull  him into a tight hug. Robbe directly taking over, congratulating Jens once more as the two of them swayed from one foot onto the other in their embrace. He loved this boy so much.

„I can’t believe that you are eighteen. You are becoming a boring adult.“ He heard Robbe whisper giggling as they both pulled back far enough to look at each other grinning, not having let go yet.

„You’ll be eighteen soon too, so you better watch your words, young man.“ Jens joked as he saw his sister being picked up and swung around by Sander. He supposed this and the cake were her only two reasons for coming with.

„At least we have our university years left to fuck it all up, I guess.“ Robbe said happily as Jens kept smiling brightly, while his heart though tightened almost painfully at that thought. He didn’t want to think about it. Not now. Not with people around. Not with Lotte close by to see him.  He swallowed it down and for some sort of miracle did Zoe appeared next to them.

„You can keep cuddling all day, if you want, but I wann hug Jens too.“ She complained quite amused as Robbe stepped away, his eyes immidiately searching for Sander to find him pouring Lotte some tea.

„What do you wanna drink?“ Jens heard the boy asking, as he joined the others by the table.

„Coffee would be great if possible.“

„Coming right up.“ Robbe replied, as Zoë and him hugged, her hand brushing through his hair, cautiously enough to not rip the birthday hat off.

„Happy birthday.“ She said, pecking a kiss to his cheek: „Let’s get some cake. Milan spend at least four hours in the kitchen, so even if it is horrible, smile.“

He snorted at her shaking his head. He was pretty sure the cake was amazing. Milan had found his absolute passion in baking since the first lockdown in march began. And though his cooking really left a large room for improvment, his baking skills was great by now. At least that’s what Robbe had told him and the last couple of weekends really proved him right.

„My turn finally.“ Milan said and another hug ensued as he was taking into the arms of the older boy and pressed tight against his chest. As with Zoë he was pecked a kiss on his cheek and welcomed with a bright smile and best wishes. Milan’s hand took holf of his and thus they both went to join the group a couple meteres away.

Robbe had joined Sander in the meantime, Lotte placed happily chatting away on the older boys lap, gesturing wildly about, as the other two listened intently. A child really suited them, Jens thought. And if fate was on their side and they pulled through all the mental health bullshit, he was conviced that they should have one. At least Sander appeared to enjoy that role.

Milan sat on the second sofa with Zoë and Senne, the later one busy lightening all the candles on the cake. That leaving Jens to take his seat on the armchair across of them.

„Alright. Make a wish.“ Senne set presenting his accomplished work, as Robbe took out his phone to either film or take a picture with. „And hurry, we want cake.“

It took him three tries to blow every single candle out as the other laughed and cheered him on.

He only whished for his mom to stay a little longer, like the little child he felt he still was.

„What the hell is this?“ Jens asked, his eyes wide open as he regarded the big package that Sander had pulled from his and Robbe’s room. It was a paper brown rectangle and decorated with a comically large red bow, like it belonged into a cartoon. 

Zoë and Senne had gifted him a new year playstation plus membership, that he was very greatful for. And Milan had bought him a quite expensive book on music production, that Jens had wanted and was pretty sure Robbe had told him. 

It was nothing compared to the present he was starring at currently infront of him on the floor, as he, followed by everyone else, had gotten up to inspect it.

„Open it!“ Lotte urged excited to his left, pulling his hand forward.

So he did just that. The bow was off in no time and the packet wasn’t that hard to open either.

He was staring in disbelief directly onto a skate board with a photograoh attached to it by tape, that punched the air out of his lungs. 

It wasn’t just a skate board, it was his skate board, or at least a version of it. Because he had a pretty big accident with it, when he was eleven and the board broke and with it his heart, as it had been his very first one. He had cried the whole way home, more over the board than his broken arm and scratched knees. It took him weeks to get over it.

The photo was showing Robbe and him on his eights’s birthday, smiling at the camera, with said board in his little arms.

„Robbe, you didn’t..“ He heard his own voice saying, just barely keeping from trembling. His hand searching blindly for the boy behind him, who got the hint and kneeled next tim him to take it.

„Well it obviously isn’t the same one, but I found all these photographs of us and our boards last year, going through all my mothers stuff, before she was admitted and I knew immidiately that I needed to keep them. I planned back then to get you a board resembling it for your eighteen’s, but fate has it, that I fell for an artist. So while I told him what to do, and what was acurate, Sander drew and painted everything.“ Robbe explained, leaving Jens to continue starring at it, cautiously picking it up to turn it over and back.

He couldn’t believe it. It looked exactly the same, all the weird scribbles and sketches and amateurish tags were plastered across it. Jens felt the need to place it on a pedestal and conserve it, never touching it. This was too good to be true.

„Dude...“ He managed to say, putting the board back down, before his arms slung around his best friend burying his head in his neck, while the other laughed and stroke his back.

„And you too.“ Jens gestured towards Sander to come down as well, so he could hug both of them. 

„I told you he would love it.“ Robbe was told by his boyfriend, before Lotte tackled them.

„I want to be hugged as well.“ She declared pouting, as they let her into their circle, while Jens was still processing his present. 

The next hours Robbe and him spent reminising in old stories, they told the others about. A lot of emberessing ones, Jens thought, but he didn’t really mind. They really had been through a lot together. Robbe was definitely family and Jens couldn’t be more grateful to have him around. He just really hoped that they would all stay in Antwerp.

While Sander still had two years left at the academy, he had voiced interest to move somewhere else for a couple of years to see more of the world. And Jens was pretty sure that Robbe would stick with him, whereever his boyfriend would plan to take them. Jens really didn’t want to loose Robbe as well.

„You good?“ Robbe’s voice pulled him out of it, as Jens noted that the others had went back to the table, finishing of their second round of cake and tea and other sweets that have managed to appear on the table.

Jens nodded lightly at Robbe next to him on the sofa, as they had watched Senne and Sander help his little sister to stand on the used skate board of Robbe. She tried really hard to keep her balance as the two older boys pshed her back and forth across the living room. 

„You know that if you want to talk, that you can always come to me, yea?“ His best friend said smikring as he winked, a clear reminder of last year, were the roles had been reversed and Jens had tried to have Robbe open up.

„I will.“

„You will what?“ Zoë inquired curiously as she looked up from her phone again, having texted Jana and the girls group some pictures of todays little birthday party, as she had explained earlier.

„Let you know, that even though it was Jens’s big day, we spent two hours on Lucas yesterday on zoom. Because you girls and my boyfriend can’t get enough of him.“ Robbe joked, taking Zoë’s phone to read through the last couple of messages.

„See.“ Robbe said as he showed Jens the screen, a conversation about Lucas being the prime subject: „Tsk, tsk, tsk.“

Jens was pretty close to tell Robbe that he really didn’t mind that at all, and that he probably could happily chat about the boy himself for days on end. And one day he would have to let Robbe know as well. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it yet. It was all too new.

„I’ve heard Lucas?“ Milan chimed in and Jens could only laugh at Robbe’s whine: “Not you as well.“

„Topic change!“ He threfore declared loudly, clapping his hands, to help his best friend out and made everyone look at him instead expectantly.

„What’s happening now with your exhibition? We all were so excited to behave in the dumbest way possible on thursday. Even Noor was in on it.“ Sander smirked at him, a fuck you on his lips, as he mouthed it silently at Jens.

„It’s all gonna be virtuell, like a tour through the exhibition pieces, so I guess maybe we could organise a litte zoom party again to go through it together?“ It is the best I can come up with now, if you are actually interested in seeing it, as you won’t have a possibilty to embarrass me infront of my professors.“

„Uh that sounds still fun. And Jana could join too! Let me just post the group.“ Zoë said excited as she took her phone back from Robbe, who turned his eyes a last time towards Jens. All serious as he patted Jens’s hand on the sofa between them.

„I mean it. I’m here to listen.“ He said smiling slightly and then getting up to help Senne make space on the table. They had ordered a big round of Pizza that should arrive soon for dinner.

Jens loved his best friend. He really did.

„We should add Lucas to the group as well.“ Milan proposed, being met with an unanimous approval of everyone else.

Jens shrugged at Robbe smirking back at him. He had tried at least. He took out his phone himself now, looking at their group that let everyone know about a new number been added. He needed to remind himself to text the poor boy later.

Zoë 17:56: Welcome to the best group in Antwerp!

Amber 17:57: Hello, Lucas!!! Glad to have you here 🥰

Noor 17:57: You still have time to run and block this. Once you are in, they will never let you out. Trust me. 😭

Moyo 17:59: Bring weed pls

#week 3 #wtfock #skam #vds #jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #chapped and faded #flatshare time #bff time

[questionthebox]

Why doesn’t Cancel Culture actually

Cancel the things that are wicked, evil,

&

Create a culture of cultish adherence to

Chaos, Stupidity, Vapidity,

That operates as a Minstrel Show

Where a teenage girl my little sisters age

Can start an Onlyfans account

& have you blood suckers,

Flock to it, as if it was going out of business.

I fucking you hate people

God damn I do,

I wish I could fucking go on a rampage and rid the earth of you motherfuckers

You phony ass, cosmopolitan liberals,

When I was a kid, my mom who’s Black, explained the difference to me, about being educated and working, juxtaposed against what she called “Niggers”

Niggers, she said we’re those “ghetto people”

With their hyper sexuality, obsession with capitalist materialism, their culture of celebrating stupidity, criminality, violence,

And now as an adult I see that those people their culture has won out, and it’s won out because it feeds into the bourgeois culture of the white rulers,

Who want to fuck teenage girls, who want to wear jewelry and hang out on yachts, who want to celebrate drugs and excess and who are criminals themselves, only concerned with money,

When I look at Rap music, all I see is the ridiculous merger either it’s deliberate which would mean that those people are literally Nihilists & Sadists, which obviously they are, alongside Narcissism and Sociopathy, but when I look at Rap music all I see, is White Supremacy manifested, it’s manifested in the adherence to White Wealth, which is stolen, it’s so ironic, to the point those Niggers wear jewelry made from Jewels stolen from Africa and mined by Children, and others, in those African Mines, the “workers” use no protective gear, get paid scraps, are routinely brutalized, but it means nothing to those Niggers, they don’t see themselves as African, if you scour interviews with those people, they’ll routinely say they have no attachment to “black people” or their plight, I saw an interview with ASAP Rocky where he said “I live in Soho & Beverley Hills I can’t relate” and these are the idiots you phonies put on a pedestal.

Recently I watched Malcolm X his journey to Mecca, and the video recited his letter, and I found myself with Tears, tears because it was something True, it was something natural, without hedonism and wickedness, without treating Women as “food” without prejudice and violence. It was peace, through his finding of Islam, which connected him to an African identity, you cannot divorce yourself from Africa, to call yourself “black” is ridiculous you are not black, your an African stolen from your homeland, and you exist without Africa as a Slave, it’s clear to me now. Very clear.

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #my thoughts #prose writing #my musings

[ificanthaveu]

Dani Reviews Wonder

hello, I'm well aware no one asked for this but this is the only way I can order my thoughts on an album and when Romance came out, someone literally asked me to fully review it and I've never forgotten about that and I loved writing a full review so hello here I am

I hate that I have to do this but DISCLAIMER: these are my opinions. I get that you may not agree with them and that’s totally cool, but if you come into my inbox attacking my opinions on a song, I will not answer it and it will be deleted without a second thought. Let’s discuss the songs, not tear each other apart 

and LET’S GO

1. INTRO

Ok so I typically do nothing with intros because I usually think they’re a waste of time. HOWEVER, I really like this one. Now that we’ve heard the whole album, it really encapsulates the entire feel of the rest of the album. It’s been on my playlist since it’s been released and I'm obsessed with it. The soft little piano in the beginning is just perfect and I really love the build up. (not many lyrics to chose from here ope)

You have a million different faces, but they'll never understand unless you let them in

2. WONDER

I never did a full analysis like I was going to for this song. However, I’m going to do like half of one here. I honestly feel like he can be talking about himself, his fans or a girl. You can see it in all 3 ways. I also just feel like there are some lyrics in this where I'm like YES. It reminds me a little bit of Mirrorball by Taylor Swift in the fact that we expect so much from celebrities and like.....why??? It’s just kind of fucked. I think this is honestly such a good single and I really really love it. I feel like it’s just really pure?? if that makes sense. Like he’s just being like “I wonder why it is like this.” and the BRIDGE ugh she's so beautiful.

I wonder why I’m so afraid of saying something wrong. I never said I was a saint.

3. HIGHER

A CERTIFIED BOP. It’s just so lively and upbeat and I wanna dance and I CANNOT WAIT to hear this live. It’s going to be absolutely insane. Blasted it on my way to get coffee this morning. And the lyrics are so lovey and cute but the beat is just too fkn good. I feel like it’s a very common theme in this album to be like “with you, nothing else matters” and like...can’t relate but ALAS I love the music about it anyway.

All eyes are lookin' at us but I can't stop fallin' in love

4. 24 HOURS

OH BOY time to FKN CRY. I absolutely love how old timey it feels. Especially the beginning, it makes me think of 50s music and I’ve been on a big 50s kick recently. Again he’s just so loud about being I don’t care what anyone thinks because I love you and I know it’s you and like YES PLEASE. and just being so in love that you’d throw it all away to come home to that person every day. I really love how the lyrics start with him being like I don’t know how to do this at all but I love you so lets go from there and then figure out the rest. And quoting “only fools rush in” made me so emotional. I love how simple the music is behind it because I think it really encapsulates the feeling of the song. It’s so hard to pick a favorite lyrics for this song my god.

(Besides the entire chorus) I paint the world that you deserve, every color you'd imagine

5. TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE

UMMMM OK???? Very Justin Timberlake vibes for me personally. Very 70s. Very vibey. “Draw a map for me laced with strawberries” ???? HOMIES I cannot I genuinely cannot. As sexual as this is, I also think it’s just so PURE. Like just teach me what’s best for you and I’ll do it. Also like...Shawn say “fuck” challenge like homie you could’ve just said it. Please. I also feel like if I was in love with someone, it’d hit different but for me it is just so FUN and I love the guitar parts a TOn. Like Idk how you can’t just get up and dance to this. Also this one live is going to be other worldly. And “babe I won’t stop til you feel the rush” I MEANNNN

F'ing me up, I'm what you dеserve

6. CALL MY FRIENDS

Ok, so idk what to really say about this one. I like the concept. I think the concept itself is really sweet and fuck it hits different when you’re away from all your friends especially during quarantine and college in general. Like I was (still am) on the phone with my friends constantly, because like Shawn said, they know me better than any one else ever will because they watched me go and grow through it. It’s also just sad because we grow up and grow apart and fuck it’s HARD. I’m not a huge fan of the chorus and I think that’s the main thing for me. The verses are sweet, but idk really about the chorus. I’m just indifferent about the chorus. But there are just lyrics in here that really hit me like “I miss how it was when we we wished we were older.” that one really gets me. 

I know you gotta make some sacrifices, I don't wanna be alone for one more night

7. DREAM

Ok I LOVE THIS SONG but I have to first get something off my chest. The first time I listened to it, I could only think of the dream song from shark boy and lava girl. I don’t know why. But I’m done with that now. Moving on. This song is just so sweet and lovey and I’m obsessed with it. I really like the rhythm of it?? I think that’s the word I’m looking for idk. ALSO him talking about their little touch bracelets like wtf why is no one in love with me. I honestly don’t have much to say about this except that I’m thoroughly obsessed with it. I kinda feel like this song could be in a movie?? you feel me??? The echoey “dream”s are also just GORGEOUS, also how it gets so soft at the end fuck I love this song. And if I think too much about it I’ll cry, but the parallels between Dream and Dream of You

I don't wanna wake up without you laying next to me

8. SONG FOR NO ONE

This song makes me sad. Very sad. God, just the feeling of having a notification and wanting it to be that one person and it just never is but every time you’re like ok but what if. I was thinking about this last night and the way I see it is that he’s made it clear all of his songs are for/about Camila. So I feel like this one is very guard up, being like “no no this isn’t about you, I swear I’m not writing songs about you. it’s about no one. it’s just something I made up” which just makes it all so much harder. Also the use of “someone” instead of “her” or “you” is also very like “I’m not going to say it.” It’s just all very sad because you have to imagine everyone asking him all the time who his songs are about and he just had to keep saying “no one.” This is the first time where he’s actually been able to say “HEY THEY’RE ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND.” And like fuck, finally. Also imagining Shawn drunk calling her and her having to say she doesn’t feel the same. AND when he's like it’s fine I’ll be fine anyway as his voice kind of trails off like GOD that feeling HURTS. I just have way too much to say about this song because I think you can go really deep into it on what the years before Camila and him started dating were really like for him. 

Close my eyes, things are better in my dreams, 'cause I'm with someone, someone I adore

9. MONSTER

I won’t say too much about this bc this song has been out for a little bit, so I’ll make this a little more personal. my friend Han is a HUGE Justin fan and I am pretty obviously a HUGE Shawn fan. and we’d always be like “omg what if” but we thought it was never going to happen so when rumors started circulating about this, we were fucking freaking out. This song is literally our dream collab. I think Justin was the perfect person for this song because of his time in the public eye. And just the whole song being like “you put me up here, so I guess you’re the only one who can push me off.” And it is pretty fucked how we put celebrities on these pedestals and expect them to not make any mistakes at all when we are constantly making them. It’s just hypocritical. It’s also hard to pick a favorite lyric for this one because I think there are a lot that hit hard so I’m doing a fave Shawn and fave Justin

Raise me up into the sky until I'm short of breath // ‘Cause unforgiveness keeps them in control

10. 305

This one surprised me in the best way. I have no idea what I was expecting for this song but god I LOVE IT. I’m obsessed with it and want to jam forever. Just very boppy??? and so HAPPY. I get so smiley when I listen to it. “Waiting for the moment that you’ll let me down” just stuck out to me because I feel like that’s such a universal feeling. Like when everything’s going so good and you’re like....ok what’s about to go wrong. I’m literally dancing in my seat to this baby. The chorus is so catchy and I really wish I was in love pt 358933. I think this may be crowned as my favorite on the album. It’s just so fun and full of love. 

Would take my heart with you if you walked away

11. ALWAYS BEEN YOU

I have been looking forward to this one and she did not disappoint!! Again, this man is screaming about how in love he is and yes, sir I’m listening. You’re the only one my heart keeps coming back to!!!!! And just the very loud instrumental with the soft “always been you”s is SO GOOD. The boy who’s really underneath all the scars and insecurities!!! God, I just feel like this one is especially raw about love. And for the thousandth time, really wish I was in love to fully feel this but STILL it has such a good beat but is still so so soft. 

Full of words I don't know how to say

12. PIECE OF YOU

Heavily reminds me of Jealous by Nick Jonas and I am HERE FOR IT. I feel like we haven’t gotten a ton of this blatant jealousy from him and the HONESTY of this is very like yes I'm possessive. I’m so into you it hurts!!! The counting is also.....hot. Idk why but I love a song that’s very like “yes I'm protective and pathetic and reckless and what about it???” Again, love the beat. A little 80s in my opinion (here’s me remembering it’s MJ inspired lmao). 

From the second you walked in the room, my night is ruined

13. LOOK UP AT THE STARS

*deep breath bc I love this song so much* ok so I read the lil things Spotify had underneath before each song and I cried immediately when I just READ that it was for the fans and then listening to it in that light just killed me. ALSO if you saw his insta live last night he was literally like “look up at the stars!! remember that one!!” and now I'm like OK THANKS. Anyways, It is so soft and fuck it’s so meaningful. This is one of my favorites for sure. It’s literally like he’s sending you away from the concert and this would be such a good closing song (I know it won’t be but I can dream). I’m crying again but “I'm not going to let you down”??? PLEASE I JUST. Calling us angels!! I’LL NEVER BE ALONE Y’ALL I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH. Never Be Alone has very much turned into our song with Shawn as his way to be like hey I’m always here so YOU’LL never be alone, and now here he is saying because YOU ALL are here I am never going to be alone. AND FUCK IT HITS DIFFERENT. AND SPENDING THE NIGHT IN WONDERLAND WITH YOU!!!! God I’m just a puddle after this one

the streetlights are all saying your name, they always say your name

14. CAN’T IMAGINE

he wrote this on his own and yes I'm emotional about it. I don’t think he’s released a song he’s written on his own since handwritten revisited??? (correct me if I'm wrong) but even that alone is enough for me to know he’s getting way more confident in his music. I think it’s a really good closing because it’s so soft and acoustic and very true to him as he started. The raspiness and realness of it even with the lil thing he says at the end. AGAIN, why tf have I not felt a love like this yet??? Of course, I’m just going to not think of it romantically but just having those people where you can’t even begin to even think about what your life would be like without them. Like I think the lack of descriptors is actually really powerful because like...he can’t imagine it, he can’t explain it so let me just tell you that I genuinely don’t know what would happen if you weren’t here. It closes out the album perfectly (not many lyrics to pick from here lmao)

Without you, all things right would feel so wrong

OVERALL - I honestly really like it there are a bunch of songs I can see myself listening to for a WHILE but there are a few that I'm very eh on as well. I really like the sound of it and the production and just the ~feel~ of the whole album

TOP 3

1. 305

2. Look Up At The Stars

3. 24 Hours

Honorary mentions: Dream and Teach Me How To Love

#me #sm #dani listens to wonder #Shawn mendes #wonder #Shawn Mendes wonder