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tiffanys-aus-and-headcanons · 27 days

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Appendix D: Some Pig/One More Final

The first three posts in this series are here.

Undertale was a slightly postmodern children's fantasy movie produced by Jim Henson's Creature Shop in the '80s. Noah Hathaway played the protagonist, Frisk, who went on a long quest to escape from a magical prison inside Mt. Ebott; Frisk's father had thrown them into the mountain, known to be full of monsters, in an attempt to kill them. However, it's suggested that as a human, Frisk is inherently more of a protagonist than a monster can be, and has a vague sort of magical power over them. Toriel's death, which Frisk accidentally causes early in the movie, is commonly listed as a Peak Sad Childhood Moment.

George Orwell wrote The Writing In The Web, a political fable about a cult started by a well-meaning spider. E. B. White wrote Snowball's Farm, a whimsical children's tale about a farm whose animals decide to take over.

Infamously, Emmanuel Goldstein's monologue fills dozens of pages, takes at least three hours to read aloud, and brings the plot of Ayn Rand's 1984 to a screeching halt.

Short story collections and anthologies often keep the same title, author, and spirit, it's just the stories that are swapped out. For example, classic episodes of Rod Serling's The Twilight Zone include A Wonderful Life, The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty, Miracle On 34th Street, and The Sixth Sense. 1983's The Twilight Zone Movie includes segments based on classic episodes Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (directed by John Landis and given anti-war themes), Cocoon, The Poltergeist, and In Search of the Twelve Monkeys (the original starred a young William Shatner). Candle Cove is an episode of Black Mirror.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was a 1999 Ben Stiller comedy about a team of low-rent superheroes who theme themselves after public domain characters because they cannot afford licensing fees. The film was well-reviewed, but a box office bomb. It was actually the first film to use Smash Mouth's One Week - the One Week music video is actually cross promotion with League of Extraordinary Gentlemen - and it would remain the film most associated with the song until Dreamworks' Happily N'Ever After hit theaters two years later.

The Amazing Digital Circus was a virtual pet game and toy line that struck when the iron was hot on that niche, before being bought out by Hasbro and rebooted a few times in different forms and mediums. Lauren Faust created a long-running television cartoon of it that was a huge smash hit with fandom culture despite the show's clearly very young target audience. The property's canon is all very light kiddie fare; the scariest thing about The Amazing Digital Circus is that for a brief and touchy stretch of time in the early 2000s, it was owned by the Peoples Temple, which was seriously considering turning it into a recruiting platform.

Your cringe unpublished works that you gave up on were almost certainly swapped around with other people's cringe unpublished works that they gave up on. There's lots of upwards and downwards mobility to the scramble, but not usually that much. Exceptions are very rare - like a beggar suddenly being made king, or a god being reincarnated into an ant - but they do occasionally happen. For example, what you know as the land of Oz exists only in the head of a young Milwaukee stoner, who suddenly came up with the idea for an epic graphic novel one day in the 2010s while sitting on the bus, and spent a couple of years absolutely convinced she would eventually make it. (She cannot draw.) Conversely, L. Frank Baum's children's fantasy series, Enormia, which has been adapted and reimagined many times, most notably as audiences' introduction to color film, exists in your world only as a different Milwaukee stoner's overly elaborate backstory for his jerkoff sessions. This kind of thing is much more the exception than the rule, and even such exceptions are almost always much smaller in scope - an obscure stillborn project getting swapped around with an obscure out-of-print novel, or an obscure direct-to-video z-movie.

The True Detectives forum and its many schismatic spinoffs, all of which are devoted to discussing mystery fiction, host literally thousands of Wind fanfics. Many of the writers - perhaps most of them - have never actually read Wind, just other fanfiction of it; next to none of the fics are worth reading. Most Wind fics reuse the original protagonist, Rorschach, but treat him as a generically relatable blank slate. The most common fic format by far is the "altdunnit", a form of what-if scenario in which the mystery that sets off Wind's plot is different in some way.

Rorschach is held by a substantial portion of the fandom to be an egg (a trans woman who has not realized it yet). Wildbow has never endorsed this interpretation, and it doesn't seem to be much on his radar. In recent years, the trans Rorschach portion of the fandom has grown; they don't tend to look especially kindly on Warn, much of which Wildbow wrote as a response to fans (like those on the True Detectives forum) he felt had been too inclined to take Rorschach's side in Wind. Flame wars over Warn's content were constant throughout its serial publication, and made it easily the rockiest experience of Wildbow's writing career.

Some noteworthy and relevant podcasts include Jonathan Sims' The Dresden Files, the Ranged Touch Network's Scott Pilgrim Made The World, Doof Media's Winding Down (later Warning Down), and the McElroy family's The Adventure Zone (an actual play podcast which has currently had three major campaigns, two anthology series, and various one-shots). Film Reroll is still an actual play podcast that runs the basic setups of movies (and occasionally other media) as short tabletop campaigns; occasionally, their version of a movie will be much closer to ours than it is to the version of the movie in their own universe.

Xenobuddy was an early childhood public access show, originally created for the BBC in the late 1990s but later aired internationally. The title character is a small alien puppet who lives on a futuristic spaceship staffed by children (who speak a vague conlang akin to a dollar store Esperanto). At the end of every episode, it gets lost and is found, usually by (harmlessly) bursting out of one of the children. It was very popular with its target audience and much loathed by parents. Edgy ironic fanart depicting the titular Xenobuddy as some kind of dangerous parasite abounds.

Static is a supernatural slasher franchise created by Wes Craven, with the first film, also simply titled Static, released in 1984. The movies concern a group of gibbering neotenous ogre-fae who wake up in the modern day after a long sleep, incorporate televisions into their bodies, and start eating people by sucking them into hellish pocket dimensions. The Screen-Guts collectively are probably in the top five antagonists most people think of when they think of slasher horror.

Toby Fox's ROSEQUARTZ is especially known for its meta take on video game morality systems. The game has a mission-based structure; throughout it, the player is encouraged to take on a pacifist playstyle, championed by the player character's late mother, the title character. However, the Crystal Gems give the player enough autonomy that you are entirely able to take a much more violent tack; doing so has a rippling effect on the game's writing in countless immersively-integrated ways. If the player goes out of their way to be as murderous as possible - the so-called "genocide route" - the differences from the main route grow much more extreme, and rather than gaining allies, you start to lose them, as the Crystal Gems realize what you're doing and one by one turn against you. If you manage to shatter Garnet - it's the hardest and most iconic fight in the game, Megalovania is playing, her Future Vision gets used for all it's worth - then you use your knife to slash at the cosmos, erasing Earth, Homeworld, and everything else. This, Toby Fox is saying, is apparently all you want out of a video game - another toy to break.

Warner Bros still did Space Jam with Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes, it's just that the Looney Tunes in question were Mickey Mouse and friends. They also still did a second one with LeBron James, which was, by God, somehow worse. They put Ms. Frizzle in it.

Walt Disney made his squeaky clean reputation on the back of adaptations of things like Rudyard Kipling's adventure novel The Call of Cthulhu, P. L. Travers' Thomas the Tank Engine, and Erich Kästner's feel-good coming-of-age kidnapping tale about the power of perseverance, Lolita, originally done with Hayley Mills and later remade with Lindsay Lohan.

Nabokov's extremely controversial literary classic that has defined the idea of the unreliable narrator is Father's Trap, from the perspective of a man who plots to obtain custody of both of his daughters for nefarious purposes. Most publishers ignored Nabokov's instructions not to depict the twins, Lisa and Lottie, on the cover. Stanley Kubrick and Adrian Lyne have directed mediocre film adaptations, and songwriting team Lerner and Loewe did a musical that was a legendary flop.

The Japanese fashion movement is Gothic Pollyanna, after an otherwise-forgotten series of penny dreadfuls about a cute, cheery, rules-minded young girl who is, despite appearances, an insane criminal. Minor character Bonesaw in Alan Moore's Worm Turns also clearly hearkens back to the Pollyanna stock character.

The DEA was a prime-time soap opera about the ongoing "war on drugs"; it ran for eleven seasons from 1982 to 1993. Its plot focused on federal agents working at the Drug Enforcement Administration office in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and especially partners Hank Schrader and Steve Gomez and their families. It is mostly remembered today for its downer ending (in which the treachery of late-show villain Walter White, or "Heisenberg", gets the leads killed, and he escapes from justice), and for its far-more-acclaimed spinoff series Better Call Saul, which also ran for eleven seasons from 1993 to 2004, functioning as a prequel, midquel, and sequel to The DEA.

Between The DEA and Better Call Saul, Kelsey Grammer played crooked lawyer Saul Goodman for twenty consecutive years of primetime TV, first as featured comic relief and later as a leading man. (He also guest-starred on the mostly-forgotten Mall Cop, establishing that it, too, was set in the world of The DEA and Better Call Saul.) Better Call Saul won more than a dozen Primetime Emmys. Peri Gilpin received several of these for her performance as Kim Wexler.

St. Elsewhere was a film written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan in the late 1990s; it was highly acclaimed and successful, and established Shyamalan in the public eye as a skilled auteur with an affinity for twist endings. The film's final scene reveals that its main setting, St. Eligius Hospital, exists entirely within the imagination of an autistic boy, Tommy Westphall, as he gazes into a snowglobe. The so-called "Tommy Westphall Universe Hypothesis", which posits that this same twist applies to most of fiction due to a network of crossovers, was invented by a Saturday Night Live sketch shortly postdating the film's release, in which an amnesiac Charles McGill (from Better Call Saul) wakes up in St. Eligius, attended to by a cast of characters who are more concerned with their own nonexistence.

After rising to prominence as a writer, storyboarder, and composer for Pendleton Ward's Science Time (where she established the Summer/Jessica relationship that would come to define later seasons), Rebecca Sugar got to make her own cartoon, Henry Ichor. Set in a recently post-apocalyptic but strangely cheerful world, Henry Ichor concerns a young teenage boy who is conscripted as a mech pilot due to his rare and innate ability to link to the powerful Evangelion mecha. (His preferred Evangelion is eventually revealed to be a form of his late mother, the reason he can do this in the first place.) Henry turns out to be a vital asset in protecting humanity from the monstrous "Angels" that frequently threaten it, and is surprisingly emotionally mature for his age. However, the adults around him (especially his father, Gennady) frequently push him too far, especially considering his generally noncombative and pacifistic nature. There is much interpersonal drama and much singing about it, with a very vocally trained cast. After several seasons of slow buildup, the show was forced to suddenly rush to its ending in only a few (infamous) episodes after an arc where Henry had a romance with an Angel in male human form. Henry Ichor The Movie and an ensuing miniseries, End Of Henry Ichor, helped bring the show to a more thematically satisfying conclusion.

Although he has played a creative or consultant role in many animated projects, Alex Hirsch is best known for the one he was actually the showrunner for, Disney Channel's smash hit Sunnydale. Focusing on a small California town constantly plagued by supernatural threats, Sunnydale generally followed a simple monster-of-the-week format, but kept audiences on the hook with teases at a deeper underlying mystery. The show almost didn't get a season two, as Hirsch found working with Disney very tiring, but he was eventually persuaded; season two ran through the rest of Hirsch's ideas at a faster pace, and concluded the show with the leads graduating from Sunnydale High.

For a brief historical moment, Daron Nefcy's show, Ender vs. the Space Bug Army, looked like it would become the successor to Sunnydale, keeping Disney Television Animation prestigious after Sunnydale ended. However, though Ender drew in a big crowd, and lasted almost twice as long as Sunnydale, it was not ultimately as well-received. EvtSBA is a children's space opera, wearing its Starship Troopers (Joss Whedon) inspiration on its sleeve, but also clearly copying some (superficial) notes from Philip Pullman. Set in a future where mankind has come into violent conflict with bug-like aliens, the show follows unbearably smug boy supergenius Ender as he is sent to military school to prepare for interstellar warfare. The show has an extremely cutesy and hyperactive tone; typical filler episodes include the one (generally taken as meta about fandom drama) in which Ender's siblings' futuristic internet arguments prove instrumental to the survival of the human race. Later seasons get a bit more serious, but focus heavily on shipping. The show is infamous for its ending, in which Ender, for his final exam, destroys the Formics' home planet and releases a psychic signal that eradicates the Formic race. Although the show explicitly notes that this includes many individual Formics who we have previously known as sympathetic characters, it is nonetheless played as a happy ending in which a hostile colonial power is defeated. Ender has ended the war; he has beaten the Space Bug Army.

"Meugh-Neigh. 'Meugh' like the cat, 'neigh' like the horse." "Does it mean something?" "No answer; none at all."

Orson Scott Card is an extremely prolific author of speculative fiction. Although it isn't as close to his heart as the Steel Gear series, in which he got to flex his military sci-fi muscles and allegorically retell stories from his faith, he is undoubtedly best known for Ishtar's Curse. Initially a short story and later expanded into a full novel, the plot concerns young Princess Ishtar, or Star, heir to the heathen fairy kingdom of Meugh-Neigh. (In later novels, she changes her name to Bethlehem Diaz, or Beth.) Spoiled and destructive but magically talented, Star is sent to twentieth century Earth so she can develop the wits and the strength of character to be a viable wartime leader for her people - or at least so she can be kept out of the way. After several years of personal growth and magical misadventures with companions she met on Earth, a more grounded Star devises a spell to erase the magic that makes up the bodies of most of her throne's enemies. This plan works, and merges Meugh-Neigh into the Earth as a small and ordinary European country. However, though her subjects are eager to celebrate her for this, Star is devastated when she realizes that she has killed trillions of innocent spirits, and, seeking to atone, she takes on the title of Speaker for the Dead (also the title of the book's first sequel). Although it's frequently ranked highly in lists of fantasy novels of the twentieth century, Ishtar's Curse has received some harsh criticism, with the standard line being that Star is an idealized fantasy of a repentant Hitler figure, and that the text presents excessive justifications for her actions. The story has also been called a reactionary response to Wilde's The Little Mermaid. After more than twenty years, a film adaptation of Ishtar's Curse was released in 2009, starring Dakota Fanning, to mixed reviews. The box office took a further hit due to a boycott campaign, after Card's views on homosexuality (and, relatedly, his membership in the LDS Church) became widely known. In the end, it lost the studio a lot of money.

Hideaki Anno is best known for the classic smash hit anime he made for Studio Gainax, Einstein Goliath Nestorian, a psychologically intense deconstruction of martial arts shonen like Yoshiyuki Tomino's Dragon Ball. Einstein Goliath Nestorian concerns a mystery man known only as Saitama, who finds that he has become dissatisfied with life and alienated from the world after only three years of training have enabled him to easily surpass any physical challenge. The original series is known for its sudden, surreal, and clearly budget-driven ending, although this was quickly alleviated with a similarly surreal but more definitive finale movie. Although many Western anime fans often think of Einstein Goliath Nestorian as pretentious and ultra niche, it was actually a huge mainstream hit in Japan, with a colossal franchise of adaptations, merch, and spinoffs (notably including a series of Retrain films, which began as extremely close shot-for-shot remakes of the original series but wound up spiraling into a very different updated timeline).

Previously most noteworthy for his 2003 visual novel Oreimo, Gen Urobuchi was tapped by Shaft for their extremely successful and acclaimed anime Ohayou Hana!, hailed as a deceptively dark deconstruction of the teen idol genre. The plot concerns a girl, Saionji Mayuri, who leads a double life, being of little note at school, out of costume, but spending much of her time as #1 idol Hana. Her mental stability begins to deteriorate as she realizes that the adults in her life - especially her father, himself a former idol - have groomed her to serve as a drugged and hypnotized propaganda mouthpiece for a shadowy conspiracy. She winds up in the worst of both worlds as her ensuing breakdown, and her handlers' response to it, destroys both of her lives and brings ruin to those she cares about. In addition to the popularity of the actual anime, many of its songs became decontextualized J-Pop hits. The idol anime genre would then receive a glut of edgy lesser imitators, like Love Live: School Idol Project, Cheetah Girls, and magical girl fusion Symphogear. Although the original Ohayou Hana! was a self-contained twelve-episode story, it received a sequel movie shortly thereafter, Ohayou Hana! Rebel!, which ended on a cliffhanger that has still not been resolved over a decade later. The upcoming Ohayou Hana! MK Ultra! is expected to get things back on track. An abridged series originating on 4chan, focusing on cropped screencaps from Ohayou Hana!, called the title character "Miss Ohio", producing the memetic tagline "being Ohio is suffering".

Zack Snyder first came up with the idea for Madoka around 2000, a long time before he'd actually get to make it; he put the project on hold in 2006 to make his adaptation of Worm Turns. He developed the idea with his wife Deborah and a cowriter, Steve Shibuya. Inspired by the Disney Princess phenomenon, as well as Naoko Takeuchi's Pretty Cure (one of the few anime that had already become a hit in the States), Snyder wanted to tell a coherent story about fights between magical girls who could make anything happen, who could make any fantastical world or visual appear. In Snyder's film, we follow Madoka Kaname, a teenager attending a Catholic school in Los Angeles. Madoka and her friends are approached by a strange young woman who goes only by "Mommy", and her animal companion (a CGI-ed up squirrel-cat thing), QB. They offer to make the teens into "magical girls", granting them one wish each in exchange for a life devoted to spiritual warfare. (Another mysterious new girl, Lilly, urges them not to take the deal in the strongest possible terms.) This turns out to be a scam; QB is pitting the magical girls against one another for his own reasons, and in the end, every magical girl and her wish gets corrupted. Despite much of the film's plot being a horrific bloodbath - the MPAA demanded a lot of cuts to get it down to a PG-13 rating - there is a happy ending; Madoka finally makes her own wish and uses it to topple QB's whole system. Madoka isn't often discussed nowadays but it was a major discourse bomb when it came out in 2010, alternately being called misogynistic Orientalist trash and a subversive feminist masterpiece. Snyder, for his part, often notes that QB is intended as an allegory for exploitative forces within the entertainment industry that treat young women as disposable resources with an expiration date; this is already clear to anyone who's watched the film, which is not exactly subtle in its symbolism. He also explains that the film sexualizes the girls in an effort to shame the audience, to get people to understand that they are objectifying the characters in the same way that QB does. The soundtrack's got a really cool ethereal cover of Nine Inch Nails' King Nothing on it, which is probably the most remembered part of the film today.

Selena Gomez became a star by playing Violet Parr on Disney Channel's superhero sitcom The Incredibles. While the show was initially a very throwaway villain-of-the-week affair whose leads had to keep their powers hidden from the public and their caped escapades secret from the government for self-explanatory comes-with-the-genre reasons, it would eventually unfold that the show was set in something of an X-Men-style dystopia where superheroism had been outlawed and supers oppressed by the government as a potential societal fifth column.

Brad Bird directed one of Pixar's most celebrated films, Wizards of Waverly Place; it was Pixar's first film with a predominantly human cast. Disney was hungry for a fantasy property after losing a bidding war for the Luz Noceda rights. It had strong populist anti-eugenic themes, with an elaborate wizarding hierarchy of antagonists who seek to remove the Russo family's magic as part of an effort to curb wizard overpopulation. The sequel came more than a decade later, and wasn't nearly as good.

In addition to Worm Turns, Alan Moore is notable for the heavily metafictional comic Pagemaster, about a boy, Richard, who finds a magical library that contains all stories that have ever been or could ever be told; he becomes lost and imperiled in assorted pieces of historically noteworthy literature (initially ones in the public domain, though later volumes would start using legally safe serial-numbers-filed-off versions of modern stories). The 2003 film, in which Sean Connery played the librarian in one of his last film roles, is widely regarded as a terrible, deeply-toned-down adaptation that didn't grasp the tone or themes of the original story at all; it only covered the first half of the first volume, in which Richard meets "genre spirits" who wish to sort all stories into rigid categories. In a later volume, Pagemaster Millennium, an aged Richard Tyler, who has since taken on the mantle of librarian himself, meets a teenage girl, heavily implied to be Luz Noceda, who has also become lost in the library. She has become corrupted by an eldritch book, or "Necronomicon", written by "the Wrong Author", heavily implied to be the devil (and/or Hugo Astley, an Aleister Crowley caricature from W. Somerset Maugham's The Winged Bull). Flushed with demonic power and enraged by what she's become, a monstrous Luz tears through the library in a blaze of hellfire, seeking to destroy all of literature and the world. It is only through the intervention of the Fat Controller - heavily implied to be God - that Luz is defeated; he mercifully erases her by hitting her with a train, and laments what she became.

#queued post #the scrambled timeline #I tinkered around with the ordering of these entries so much that I guess this is a scrambled post for the scrambled timeline #credit to hieronymous-botch for the Alex Hirsch's Sunnydale idea #credit to Lorelei for the Orson Scott Card's Steel Gear idea

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insanelyadd · 1 year

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Designed the Archivists. Mainly so I had faces to punch in my mind. But anyways, Penumbra is the eldest, her color scheme was inspired by some pictures of The Pillars of Creation, Crescent is the second oldest, the outside of the cloak is based on. Well you know. And the interior clothes colors are based off of sunsets. Satellite and Solari are fraternal twins and teens* (for their species *This has since been retconned, they are adults CURRENTLY, but were teens during the war against the Titans). Neither it older than the other because these are cosmic entities and I say it can work that way. Their color schemes aren't actually based on anything in particular but after I chose them and laid out the colors I was like "Wow they look like characters on a preschool show that teach you about space" which is sort of ironic.

More info on them under the cut, lil spoiler alert! They are not nice. They are bad in fact.

Penumbra is the one who came up with the idea to send the Collector to the Titan Planet, mainly to see if he was ready to do the work they were all expected to do, partially so they'd all get a break from them. She is also the one who noticed Collector magic doesn't work on Titans. She got along fine with the Collector when she was teaching him things but would get annoyed very easily when he wanted attention in literally any other situation, so she'd send them to play with Satellite and Solari since they were the closest in age to him. She uses she/her but in a nonbinary way, in that I HC all Collectors are cosmic beings outside our scope of understanding of things like sex and gender.

Crescent actually got along the best with The Collector. He would frequently be gone to do things since she is the most active in exploring planets and acquiring specimens, but when he was home she'd love playing with them. He's probably the most outwardly friendly of the Archivists, which you'd need to be when you're constantly interacting with mortals. She's the one who got the idea to get the mortal witches of the planet to kill Titans, using them as easily sacrificed pawns and tools for removing the "threat". He is the one referred to as the Grand Huntsman. You can tell she's fucked up and evil because he wears socks with sandals. (Yeah I double checked the episode with the Titan Trappers and they never once refer to the Grand Huntsman as anything other than that title or "our god" so I'm using she/he pronouns)

Satellite liked playing with the Collector occasionally as they also are easily bored, but Penumbra sending him to always play with them and Solari easily wore their patience thin, so they'd disappear to do "errands" or "chores" or because they were "tired" when it was really just an excuse to leave him with Solari. If they were forced to interact they would easily lose their cool and yell, at the Collector (initially) or in general (after getting in trouble for yelling at him too much), until he was allowed to leave. Despite their surface affect of cool apathy, they're a hot head. Satellite was the one who got to tell the Collector that he should go play with the Titans.

Solari very actively didn't like being around the Collector. Her brand of being "nice" for his sake would be a constant stream of passive-aggression and cold sarcasm, sending them to do pointless chores or activities, scavenger hunts, etc, anything to get him away from them. If they had to interact for some reason, she would do things like play a game called "shooting star" where she would pick him up and magically throw them as far away as possible into space. She's gotten in trouble for it before when they launched him so far they weren't able to return for nearly an hour (after which everyone had to go out looking for him). The Collector did enjoy this game, because little kids just like being thrown around in general, except for the time everyone had to go looking for him because he was launched too far and couldn't figure out where to go to get home.

#toh #the owl house #toh the archivists #the archivists #toh the collector #the collector #toh collector #insanelyadd #toh spoilers #owl house spoilers #should I tags this as original characters #since they're based on existing characters that just don't have faces or personalities (yet)#like their existence is a bit spoilery #Been writing this up for forever now I FEED (get lunch)

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writer-by-the-sea · 1 year

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College Professor Elliott x Gn! Student

Part 1 of ? I stopped, my words trailing off as I gazed into a pair of eyes in the front row. Two beautiful eyes, breathtakingly perfect eyes that stared right back at me, unafraid to maintain eye contact with me, unafraid of the successful author standing directly in front of them… Ready to challenge anything I might throw their way.

Chapter one: The meet cute

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A sea of eyes watch me as I pace back and forth before them, the sound of laptops opening, bags zipping, pens on paper, and the occasional snore from one of my already uninterested students; the true college experience. When I was younger I never saw myself teaching a class. My main goal was to become an author. A New York Times best seller, famous and rich beyond my wildest dreams!

It was much easier to obtain than I’d ever imagined.

Thirteen novels later and I was here, teaching a class full of young and eager faces; each one just as desperate to accomplish the same goals that I’d managed to do early on in my career. They always took every word I spoke as the one and only truth, the end all of how to become a published author and a well known one at that.

After all, the class was called ‘Humble Beginnings - How to publish your first novel.’ Humble being that it was my last name, a little joke to myself when I came up with the class title. It was very much the opposite of ‘humble’ especially when I stood before all of them, dressed in clothing that most of them could never afford, my hair perfectly styled with products shipped from all around the world, the watch on my wrist costing more than my first car— Humble Beginnings… when in reality, it was all pure luck and a dash of talent.

I begin by scribbling my name on the white board in the font of the class, something I don’t find myself using often and will usually only keep my name up the entire semester. Professor Elliott Humble. I hate being called ‘Mr. Humble’ but Elliott feels too familiar in this setting.

I turned and looked out to the class, taking time to memorize the faces as I scanned over them. Some excited and eager to begin, others nervous and scared of what’s to come, and one in the back with his head thrown back as another light snore rips around the room. “Theme stated, can anyone tell me what that means?”

A few hands raise, those who have already done their research, those who may have read ahead on the required book in my class— not one that I’ve written myself, but one that would be very beneficial to any future writer. Save the Cat! Writes a novel.

I point to someone a few rows back. She wore a brown oversized sweater and a mustard yellow beanie. My quick thought is that she’s a bit of a hipster, someone who dreams of writing the next most inspirational and unique novel. A dream that will fail once they come to learn the truth of publishing. “Yes, you. Let’s hear it.”

“Theme stated— A hint at the transformation that the main character will make.”

“Wonderful!” I grinned, earning a blush from my praise. And nothing new there, it was common to attract a few shy glances and not so subtle swoons from my audience. Be it from my interviews, book signing, or here in class, someone was bound to develop a little crush. Usually the entire class by the end of the semester. So much for being Humble.

“Can anyone give me a good example of a theme stated?”

More hands go up this time, either they now knew what it meant or they were too nervous to try to answer the first question of the class.

I hummed as I looked out at the class, one man vibrating in his seat with excitement. I could already hear his answer, something from a Marvel movie or maybe Star Wars. He wore glasses that were too small for his face, a worn out Iron Man t-shirt, and a chain necklace that showed off a single heavy lock that hung just above his collarbone. “What’s your example?”

“You either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain.”

“Ah, that’s a very good one!” The student was beaming, proud of himself and rightfully so— it was a very good example. “The Dark Knight, correct?” DC and not Marvel, but close enough.

“Yes, Mr. Humble!”

I cringed a bit at hearing my name, luckily it seemed that no one noticed. “In The Dark Knight, we see Harvey Dent and Batman, both considered heroes. Dent in his attempt to rid Gotham of crime, and Batman as a vigilante protecting the city.” Can’t say I was prepared to reveal my own slightly nerdy side of myself so early on. But it couldn’t be helped. “Later on, Dent becomes a villain while Batman allows himself to be considered a villain for the greater good of Gotham.

“Some of you may be tempted to shake your head or roll your eyes. You may be asking yourself, ‘why would I ever want to be so on the nose with the theme of my story?’ And it’s rather simple, a strong theme, a strong statement in the beginning of your novel or script, in Batman's case; can take your work from being your average basic story, and into something so much more powerful. Something that moves your audience, something that captures their attention and holds onto them for dear life…”

I stopped, my words trailing off as I gazed into a pair of eyes in the front row. Two beautiful eyes, breathtakingly perfect eyes that stared right back at me, unafraid to maintain eye contact with me, unafraid of the successful author standing directly in front of them… Ready to challenge anything I might throw their way.

“Uh, I-,” I turned my back to the class, quickly pulling my collar away from my throat, my tie suddenly too tight. Clearing my throat, I spoke again, “What else do some of you think is the most important factor in a novel?”

I meant to keep going on, to ask for more examples, to spin more on how important the theme stated was but— I turned and looked back to the class, forcing a smile to them and looking at the newly raised hands to pick another answer. But then my eyes fell back to them. No hand raised, but still paying full attention as they waited for the chance to learn more. I knew I was blushing now, my cheeks no doubt turning bright red as I ripped my gaze away from them again. I pointed to a random student, not paying attention to anything about them as they answered.

“A novel outline?” They were unsure, their voice going up at the end of their answer. But it was an alright answer, a more obvious one, but still a decent enough answer.

“Yes, good point! Outlines are important. Not everyone uses them and it’s something we’ll dive into throughout the class— I’ve done both methods, outlining and not, and.. I’ll tell you which novels sold better,” I teased.

The class laughed, some of them nodding along with me, most likely the ones that struggled with outlining and wanted to know how to avoid it.

“Now, I’d like to take a little bit of time to get to know some of you. I’m going to end class a little early—“ Some students dropped their jaws, looking around the room at each other in confusion. “Don’t mistake this for kindness,” I said quickly. “You’ll be receiving your first assignment and it will take some time.”

I chuckled at some of them as they groaned and relaxed back into their seats. “Homework after the first class? I know, I’m so cruel. But—“ I jogged to my desk, grabbing the first book that sat on top, one of my own. I smacked the cover and showed it to the class, not my first novel but it was one of the best selling ones. “If you want to become published, you have to write every single day!” I tossed the book to someone in the third row, some gasps escaping as they caught it.

“Tell me your name and your future novel genre!”

The student looked to their left and then to their right, uncertain and apprehensive to answer.

“Look at me,” I said softly. “Don’t worry about the others, tell me what you want to write.”

They shrugged, their fingers playing with the edges of my book as they stared at the cover. “It’s kind of lame.”

“I promise you, it isn’t,” I said. “No genre is boring, except maybe a manual on how to change a lightbulb.” A few laughs came through, and the student smiled. The laughs were what we needed to get them to open up a bit. “So?”

“Historic fantasy.”

“Ah, yes. A battle of blades between elves and humankind! How can they ever settle the war between their people?! A marriage alliance? A fight to the death? Or perhaps an even stronger enemy arises that forces them to work together!”

The student laughed, “Goblins and- and trolls!”

“I’m excited to see what you come up with! What’s your name?”

“Tony,” he was grinning now, facing me fully and no longer hiding his face behind my book.

“Excellent, Tony. Very nice to meet you. Toss the book to someone else!”

Tony nodded and stood, looking out to everyone around him and trying to decide who to throw to. He tossed it carefully a few seats away from himself, landing on the table of another student. She grabbed it quickly and stood up, holding my book to her chest.

“I’m Angie, and I want to write romance.”

“A personal favorite of mine,” I replied. Most of my novels were, in fact, romance. Something I felt I excelled in, and most likely the reason she was really here. To get into the head of her favorite author. “Meeting for the first time and falling in love, reawakening the romance of a dying marriage, or a forbidden romance between two criminals — so many possibilities!”

“Rose Petal is my favorite book of yours!”

“Thank you,” I said with a laugh. “Please, toss it on!”

Angie didn’t even hesitate, she quickly threw the book into the front row, nearly nailing the student in the back of the head but luckily they were able to turn and catch it. They stood slowly, their eyes locking with my own as they held the book with both hands. I made my way to stand in front of them, reaching for the book and taking it from them, my fingers caressing across the back of their hands as I took ownership of the book once again.

“And you? Are you wishing to write romance as well?”

“No,” they replied, their voice so soft the students in the back missed it.

I waited a moment, my attention focused fully on them… I found that I could stare at them for hours, days, weeks even. I allowed myself to study their face and memorize every gorgeous detail. “What is it?”

They smiled before they replied, a smile so wonderful that I almost missed their reply—

“Horror.”

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ooops-i-arted · 11 months

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renewing my "anti ahsoka" club membership on a monthly basis now because i'm beyond done with her stans getting pandered to especially at the expense of other jedi. and i'm one of those people that didn't mind her much in tcw even though i really think she maybe should have been the apprentice of plo koon or literally anyone else instead of anakin. but it's apparent to many people that she's outlived her narrative purpose and is there just so filoni can make live action fanfic.

like i was watching the disney gallery episodes for Both bobf and mando and everytime filoni feels the need to go into his "isn't ahsoka so amazing and powerful, she trained under anakin" spiel i fast forward through that shit, like we Get It filoni you want to worship your precious darling! he even describes working on her show as a "religious experience" and wants her to be this enlightened force goddess, aka the Daughter reincarnated. if he's already like this when she's a mostly redundant cameo, can you imagine how insufferable he is going to be in the behind the scenes episodes for her own show?

just scenes of badly recreated togruta cosplay with mediocre acting, parodying better made samurai films. maybe a trapper wolf cameo thrown in somewhere. who wants to sit through episodes of that shit? not me.

I am so glad you pointed out the TCW thing because I've often thought the show would be MUCH stronger with a tighter focus on Ahsoka as another Jedi's apprentice and just occasional cameos or episodes featuring the Main Characters like Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, Mace, Yoda, etc. More like Rebels. It could've been really cool to see the Clone Wars through a young apprentice's perspective since the main films we usually see it through the eyes of the higher ups. (That's what I liked about Rebels the most - it's not just Leia and Luke and Han who deal with the big picture, but we got a tighter focus on fighters on the front line, and new characters to fall in love with.) (Also one of the biggest reasons I hate TCW is how they warped Anakin especially but also Obi-Wan ooc, those are NOT my boys, and a focus on Ahsoka would've mitigated that and kept Filoni away from them.)

I don't begrudge any fan their love for a character, and Ahsoka has undeniably widened the playing field for female characters in Star Wars, but Filoni, please: variety!! She doesn't have to be in everything!! I'm tired of watching a show for something else and then suddenly it's TCW 2.0 Featuring The Super Specialist Jedi-But-Not-A-Jedi-Because-She's-BETTER Ahsoka. Mandalorian S2 E5 spent more time on her than Din and Grogu!! She completely took over the Rebels season 2 finale!! Filoni invented time travel in the Star Wars universe to save her from Vader and had Ezra save her over his father figure. What the fuck??? I mean, I can write endless fanfic about Cara Dune bc no one is paying me for it and I owe no one anything. He's helping lead an entire franchise and for god's sake can we PLEASE have something besides Ahsoka, Order 66, and Man Adopts Child? (And stop acting like Ahsoka is the third member of the prequel trio. IT'S PADME.)

I'm not gonna lie, I hope the show flops hard. I'm not proud of that, I'm still torn because don't want that to affect Rebels characters, and I do hope the Ahsoka fans like it, but I wish Filoni would get a reality check as vengeance for ripping apart Zahn's Trilogy for pieces and rebuilding it around Ahsoka and for handing Din's set up arc in The Mandalorian to Yet Another Fucking TCW Character. Or at least that Lucasfilm stops licking his butthole and lets him greenlight what's basically his own fanfiction.

Don't even get me fucking started on the Daughter and the Mortis arc. That was when I quit TCW when I tried to watch it all. THAT'S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS. (Also doesn't Anakin like resurrect her with the Force or something? The power he was trying to get in RotS when it's pretty explicit it isn't a thing and Palpatine was lying to him to mainpulate him? Filoni broke canon just so precious widdle Ahsoka won't die? Are you shitting me???)

#ok maybe i'm a bit overboard with ripping apart the thrawn trilogy but #if they were gonna do the thrawn trilogy? recast the main trio and do it as is #and only tweak stuff to fit in with the prequels (like Kamino instead of Spaarti cylinders) bc they were written pre prequels #anti ahsoka #anti ahsoka tano #rageposting #asks #anon #if you don't have anything nice to say about ahsoka come sit by me lmao

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sleepdeprivedsimp234 · 4 months

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I did a silly angst snapped Texas’s spine like a glowstick <3

For those that can’t read it on Wattpad:

————————

Texas thought to himself as he sat under a tall apple tree in the moonlight. He thought about the whole civil war that they were all fighting in. He thought about the reasons behind it. He thought about one of the things that contributed to the reasonings for this damned war. Slavery. The word had tasted bad on his tongue for so long. The Lone Star State knew that it was wrong, he had no slaves himself, but the fact that he sat by and watched a bunch of innocent people be put to work like animals makes him want to put his gun to use. On himself.

the CSA didn't really treat them well either, though he mainly targeted the people of color. Such as Texas and Louisiana and occasionally Mississippi. Texas knows that the only reason that Confederate hasn't killed them yet is because he needs their fighting skills and resources. But that doesn't justify the unfair treatment. They would always be put on the front lines in battle in Confederate's hope that they might die, they were always put somewhat separate from the other states (though the three had formed a sort of bond), and Texas and Louisiana were the usual main targets for getting yelled at if anything went wrong. Even if it wasn't their fault. So yeah- it wasn't really too fair on their part.

Texas sighs as he stands up and walks over to his horse, Bucky. He gently pets the horse on the snout and gives him an apple from the tree, whispering a small "Good Boy" as he gently combed through Bucky's mane. He checked his saddlebags to make sure he had enough food and water for the next two or three days as he traveled to D.C.. He had just about enough for a day and half, but that was fine. He was experienced with the outdoors and knew how to hunt very well. He set his gun in his lap, and hung his bag of handmade tools around his neck (he had a handmade stone axe and dagger, as well as flint and steel and a few spear heads that could be used for either throwing or being attached to a stick then thrown.).

Texas gently tapped Bucky's side with the heel of his boot. "Come on boy..... to D.C."

————————

(Nearly three days later...)

Texas rode near silently through the streets of Washington D.C., hoping that he would wake nobody up and alert them of his presence. That would not end well.... He had to somehow SILENTLY go through the entire city to get to D.C's house in the outskirts. He sighs as he taps Bucky's side with his boot. As he traveled, the Lone Star State felt that one weird feeling that one feels sometimes. The one weird feeling that feels as though you're being watched. But he shrugged it off. Quite the stupid mistake later, but for now, he was just focused on getting to D.C.'s house. Soon enough, he reached his destination. Texas tied Bucky to a tree and quickly but quietly approached the house.

He looked in the window to see if D.C. was awake, and to his relief, he was. To his most definite relief (yeah mhm definitely) though, Pennsylvania was in there too. And based on the flask in his hand, probably tipsy as well. Which meant quicker to anger. Texas had never really hated PA, but he was sure as hell always maybe a little scared of him? Which- would sound stupid if Pennsylvania wasn't well....Pennsylvania! To his actual relief though, New York was also there, whom he had never had any problems with. New York was a somewhat chill person, or at least a lot tamer than PA. Sure, okay, he always looked pissed off about something, but he was actually a pretty sweet guy to be around. Kinda.

'Ah sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t-' was the only thing going through the Lone Star's mind right now. Did he just make eye contact with Pennsylvania? Yes. Yes he did. Was he now regretting every life decision that led him to this very moment? Yes. Yes he was. Texas got up quickly and tried to run, only to have a rough hand grab the back of his shirt and throw him on the ground. He felt himself get tackled and tried his best to block any punches. Through his arms, he could see PA's angry crazed expression. Terrifying. Texas then felt the smaller state's weight get yanked off of him with some struggle. He opened his eyes and saw New York holding PA back and D.C. standing there with his arms crossed.

Texas noticed how much the three of them changed. New York's hair had grown long enough that it's kept in a small bun, he looked WAY more tired than usual, and his oh so beautiful bluish green eyes no longer held the spark of happiness that the other's had tried to bring back. He also wore a mask, that covered his mouth and nose. Pennsylvania didn't look all too different, except he looked angrier than he had before the war, and his hair was a little bit longer and messier. D.C. looked oh so very tired..... his hair was still somewhat neat though, but he seemed to walk with a bit of a limp.

The Lone Star State tried to hold back a horrified gasp when New York pulled the mask down to speak clearer. He appeared to have a large stitched up gash that started at the corner of his mouth... damn. "Jesus f*ckin' Christ Penn can ya like- not choose violence whenever ya see fit??? The dumbass ain't even armed!" New York scolded, making PA roll his eyes and shrug the younger off of him.

"Y-Yeah what he sai-""Shut the f*ck up before I come over there and kill ya myself." New York interrupted, glaring at Texas.

"Y'know, Texas, if that was supposed to be an assassination attempt, then I honestly feel bad. Cause' that was absolute sh*t."

"I-It wasn't an assassination attempt I swear!!" Texas shouted putting his hands up to block himself, in the same fashion that he did when he was Mexico's territory. 'Trust me, if it was, the three of you would be dead by now...' he thought to himself.

"What the hell are you doing here then?"

"I-I came to m-make a proposal...? A-about something regarding the war..?" Texas answered, his voice shaking a bit.

D.C. gave him a look of mild judgement and questioning and was silent for at least two minutes. "Very well. Get your ass inside and you better give me a good reason to not send you back. Dead."

Texas nodded and hesitantly stood up, doing his best to make himself look smaller despite being 6'5. He followed the other three states into the house, occasionally making eye contact with New York, and he noticed a not only tired look in his eyes, but also......fear???? Weird... He took a seat in one of the chairs that were in front of D.C.'s desk, sitting in the middle seat whilst Pennsylvania and New York took the seats next to him.

"Alright then. What are you here to talk about? Make it quick. We don't have all night." Said the government.

Texas gulped a little bit. Has D.C. always been this scary?? "W-well i uhhh-" he paused trying to find his words. He felt a gentle hand be placed on his knee to tame his fidgeting. He knew by the amount of rings and scars that it was New York's hand. Why was he being nice to him...?

"Well?"

"L-look- this might sound stupid but um...... can I uhh... can I fight for the Union?" Texas asked. D.C. gave him the look that meant continue, and so he did. He told them his thoughts about how stupid it was that he let Confederate take control of him like that. He told them about how wrong he thought it was to treat people like servants just because of their different skin color, and he even told them a bit about the mistreatment to himself and a few others. When he finished, he looked up at D.C. with a slightly pleading look.

D.C. seems to be thinking for a few seconds before speaking "Pennsylvania come with me."

"Who do you think you are-" "Did I f*cking stutter?" PA just rolled his eyes and followed his pseudo-son into another room, leaving New York to watch Texas.

The two states sat in silence for a while before Texas spoke up: "Can I ask what happened?"

"What?"

"W-well I guess knowin' what happened up ere' in the Union would be fine- but I was mainly talkin' bout what happened to your mouth?"

New York's beautiful bluish green eyes widened a bit. "Oh- uhh- this..?" he lowered his mask so that Texas could see the gash and stitches.

"Yeah..? What happened...? If ya don't mind me askin' o'course..." Texas answered rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"I don't mind..." New York replied. He was silent for about a minute before speaking again: "I got into a fight. With Confederate. It was pretty nasty. I lost sadly."

"Well yeah I would imagine ya lost- n-not that there's anythin' wrong with that! Confederate's a b-big g-gay-i mean guy!" Texas said, cursing himself for stuttering. To that, New York laughed a little. Texas could feel his face heat up a bit at the sound and sight. New York laughing??? Genuinely??? And SMILING??? The Lone Star State felt as though he had just seen God himself.

Just then, D.C. and Pennsylvania walked into the room. Texas sat up straight and New York pulled his mask back up.

"Very well, Texas. You may fight for the Union. You may act as a spy for us. Keep an eye on Confederate, and if you need me, I'm giving you the ability to use the teleportation and mental connections with the Union back. Don't make me regret this, for I will show no hesitation in ending your life." Said the government.

"Thank you sir, you won't regret this, I promise." Texas said, bowing his head a bit in gratitude.

"I better not. New York? May you please escort Texas out of the city?" New York nodded in response, grabbing his rifle.

————————

As the two walked through the streets of Washington D.C., Texas admired New York from where he sat on Bucky. He admired New York's oh so very beautiful eyes that shined their truest colors in the moon light, their colors reminded Texas of the Atlantic Ocean. He admired New York's long messy brown hair, including the natural white/bright blonde streaks from his poliosis. He admired the way he could see New York's sharp canine teeth whenever he spoke, and they reminded him of a cat's. Texas admired New York's freckles that were dotted all over his face neck and shoulders. To him, New York was perfect.

!BANG!

A loud gunshot pierced the air, startling the three of them. Bucky kicked his forelegs up, throwing Texas off and running away. As Texas was recovering, he heard a sharp cry from behind him and turned to see Confederate holding NY's unconscious body in his arms. He quickly stood up, but he didn't have enough time to pull out a weapon before Confederate dropped New York and tackled Texas to the ground.

"YOU F*CKIN' TRAITOR!!" Confederate shouted, kicking Texas in the gut.

Texas yelped and coughed up some blood. "I-I DUNNO WHAT YER TALKIN' ABOUT!!" He felt himself get yanked up by his collar. See, Texas was tall, but Confederate was even taller. And bigger too. Plus Texas was weakened due to sleep deprivation and lack of actual nutrition.

"Ya know what we do to traitors like you?~" Confederate snarled with a dangerous look in his eyes that sent shivers down Texas's spine.

Okay. Now would be a good time to call for help. 'D.C.!! Penn!! Anyone???? Help!!' Texas mentally called out, using the mental communication thing the states had.

"We KILL them!!~" said Confederate with a snarl.

!SLAM!CRACK!

Texas cried out as he felt pain blossom in his back, chest and head. Confederate had slammed Texas as hard as he could into a nearby oak tree.

!SLAM!CRACK!

Texas felt as though everything he felt happened in slow motion. He could feel his spine and head crack, he felt all of the wind be knocked out of his lungs, he felt himself cough and he could feel blood trickle out of his ears, nose, and mouth. Before he went fully unconscious, he felt himself be dropped to the ground and he heard a loud gunshot and running footsteps. Then, everything went black......

————————

Uhhhh- dw Texas was fine (BRO HIS SPINE AND HEAD CRACKED 😭). Mhm. Definitely. Um-

#welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #ben brainard #wttt #wttsh #wttt texas #wttsh texas #wttt new york #wttsh new york #wttt gov #wttsh gov #wttt pennsylvania #wttsh pennsylvania

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faebriel · 6 months

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jukebox: ⛅ / 🌻 / 🌠 / 🎇 / 🌇 (last updated: nov '23)

i'm kai! 23 + he/she with a side of they. things i make can be found:

on my ao3, honeyblock (mostly c!niki and c!rainduo centric things, but also some c!quirkyduo and c!beeduo - and even some random double life and toh thrown in there)

in my #my fics tag (includes a few snippets that don't make their way to ao3!)

in my #my art tag

world's most annoying c!niki enjoyer three years running 🔥🔥

i love answering asks and things, i just might take a little while to get to them 🙇

ccdream defenders/excusers/whatever please get bent and everyone else remember being critical of ur faves is good for you yadda yadda i've had this disclaimer on my blog for like two yrs now 👍👍 thank u

a few more things below the cut (note: there is a flashing banner!)

what i do around these parts:

c!niki posting (on top of that, a lot c!rainduo posting) with a hefty side of l'manberg nostalgia. love all those guys

the occasional dn.posting

your general variety posting... whatever strikes the fancy really. star wars, bapc, whatever movie i watched last week, all popular choices there

wax poetic about horrible toxic friendships

chat with the lovely anons about aus, usually c!niki centric ones (check out the #aunonnies tag!!)

also sometimes i interact from @faemain !

(art is by b0nkcreat and eggsdoodz! ☀💌)

^ this image rocks

#new pinned YAYYYY

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notmykirk · 6 months

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Concordia

Description: You scrunch up into a ball as the boar collides with you, its tusks bouncing off your beskar with a terrifying scrape, metalic on metal. You cry out and are thrown across the ground. Your head is spinning as the boar rounds on you again. Mandalorian!Reader, prequel to Nar Shaddaa. Fandom: Star Wars Pairing: Gen Word Count: 2.4k+ Warning(s): Violence.

At the edge of Mandalorian space, a war rages amongst the stars.

You are reminded of this occasionally, when Mandalore and its sun dip below the broken mountain peaks of the Bladeback Palisades. The stars of so many distant worlds, for those few precious minutes that they exist in yours, blink down at you, and suddenly you are reminded of the vastness of the galaxy and all its fears and strife and tragedy.

In a single hour, however, Concordia’s brief night fades and with it, the stars blur, then disappear altogether once twilight returns. All that exists after that witching hour is the ground beneath your feet, the smell of raw beskar, and the distant threat of New Mandalore as it rises once more over the horizon.

And life goes on--mundane on the grand scale of Kad Ha’rangir’s palm.

***

Concordia is a harsh mix of barren cliffs, evidence of the brazen strip mining that had once taken place on the moon, and dense forests of dry, coniferous trees. The ground cover is bare, but growing back, and every creature that roams the surface steps lightly. The life on this moon is tough, and like a Mandalorian, it fights to survive. Every year you are one step closer to your ancestral homeland as the moon recovers its ecosystem bit by bit.

This is all thanks to the conservation efforts pushed forward by Pre Vizsla and Duchess Satine. They are stewards--and this type of change, you welcome with open arms. This is one thing all Mandalorians can agree on: wars are synonymous with the destruction of planets.

You barely notice the weight of the ballistic rifle in your hands as you steady it, elbows braced on the ground as you lay at the edge of the cliff beside your Alor. Your gloved thumb ghosts over the engraved metal without complex thought as you peer down the scope, searching the endless landscape for movement.

The vegetation in the valleys below is a dark grey-green under the soft light reflecting off the face of Mandalore. Rarely does Concordia receive direct sunlight, and so the moon is blanketed with this quiet, everlasting twilight that visitors are so enchanted by, but you’ve grown used to.

There is no shade, nowhere to hide. The light is flat, almost wraps around objects so their shadows are soft and thin, and it is silent except for the faint breeze carding through the shrubs and twisted trees. You lay flat on the ground, back bent at an angle due to the thickness of your breastplate. Beside you, your Alor shifts on her stomach, pulls her hands back to wipe a smudge off her binoculars, then returns to her original position and stills.

Another five minutes pass in silence. Your nose itches inside your helmet, and you scrunch your face, then bite your tongue, struggling to ignore that annoyance.

In that moment of distraction, your Alor exhales sharply, and your focus is immediately honed back to the edge of a knife. “There, five klicks out, two towards the ridgeline, by the tree with the broken top.”

You blink, then pan your rifle to the right and catch the target in your sights--a family of Bladeback boars. You feel for the knob on the side of the scope, then zoom in close enough so you see the tan of their fur, the black tusks protruding from their snouts and the grey of their eyes. Some have the pale markings of adolescence, others are older and more refined. You follow a piglet with your scope as it struts after its mother, bumping into her legs.

They are huddled around a dingy puddle, bowing their heads and sticking their long tongues out to drink the muddy water. You frown. That water is probably poisoned. Any runoff in this area is soiled by the mining operation on the mountains above.

Your Alor pushes herself up with a grunt that betrays her age. “Do you have a clear shot?”

“For which one?”

“The largest.”

You pan your rifle over the group in search of a decent target, then pull the trigger easily in answer to her question. The pop of your rifle is deafening, and the sound rolls down the canyon walls and shakes the trees so a group of black birds take to the skies in fright.

The weapon is ancient and traditional, and its ballistic nature sends it slamming back into your shoulder in recoil. You grunt when the scope of your rifle knocks against the face of your helmet, and flinch, embarrassment hot across your face at the blunder, then regard the target through your scope, bucking and running from you, with the tracking bullet lodged in its shoulder. A ribbon of blood spills from the wound.

She gives you a hard stare, then says plainly, “Well done.” Though you find it difficult to swallow down your anxiety, you grip the rifle and nod. The sudden tilt of her helmet suggests she wants to say more when she is interrupted by the distant roar of a sublight engine entering the atmosphere.

You can’t help but wonder if it’s yet another government official from Mandalore Prime coming to step on Concordia’s toes. Governor Visla does a good job keeping the new government at bay, using politics to push Condordia’s agenda without inviting the tourism upper-class Mandalorians seem so convinced they are entitled to, but there are always a few beetles who fall through the cracks.

You see the ship now as it jets overhead and frown. It is definitely from Mandalore.

Those Mandalorians wealthy enough to make it off-world don’t appreciate land for what it is, something that you belong to more than it could ever be useful or beautiful. They come to poke around your nature reserves, to admire the flora without knowing their names and to prove themselves ignorant of the life that inhabits the valleys and mountains kept watch over by House Viszla’s halls.

Mandalore is destroyed. It is barren and empty except for their massive city cubes. Those from Mandalore Prime did that to themselves, and once they finished destroying their planet, they tried to tear Concordia down from its sky alongside it--and they are still trying, whispering that Concordia’s massive and sprawling mines should not remain cold--as if they have any need for Beskar when they no longer wear armor.

No, Mandalore is weak. It is cursed along with anyone who steps foot on it. It is a ghost above your head, a grim reminder of the past and present and its future as well. It is wreckage and ruin and trying its best to spread its wasting disease to your home.

Your Alor sighs heavily, and you both turn back to regard the boars. They are gone from sight, though the tracking beacon on your Alor’s hip hints at their direction. The two of you stand and descend the cliff.

***

The digital interface of your helmet handles the dark easily, automatically adjusting its shading to your preferred light and contrast levels. Branches scrape across the dome of your helmet as you begin to pick your way across the forest floor. The ground here is treacherously soft, needles forming a springy carpet around jagged boulders and rocks–discarded from various mining operations, then washed down from the mountains during the month of rain.

You follow your Alor across the rough terrain as she leads you through the dark, nervousness beginning to eat at your stomach and numb the tips of your fingers. You do not pay attention to where you are being led, and instead stare at the ground and count your footsteps in pairs of two.

Slowly, your Alor draws to a standstill and kneels behind the trunk of a sickly tree. You freeze and crouch behind her.

She reaches a hand up to brush a branch out of the way, and sure enough, there is the boar you shot with the tracker, its shoulder wet and stained black, though no longer bleeding as badly as it had been when you last saw it.

On level ground you can truly realize the size of Bladeback Boars–they are larger than you or even your Alor by at least a foot, though this one does not have as much meat as it should. Its bones are like a tanning rack and its patchy hide hangs loosely off them.

You watch silently, your stomach twisting in knots, as your Alor pulls the folded spear from behind her jetpack, then expands it with a flick of her wrist, the beskar ringing dully–the sharpened tip glowing in the twilight.

The boars head flicks towards the two of you, its small, red eyes instantly suspicious and scanning the treeline.

When your Alor turns and holds the spear out for you to take, you trade it in silently for the rifle on your back, then force yourself with all the confidence you possess to stand and approach the boar in the open.

You were, in theory, prepared for what comes next.

The electric crackle of the tracking bullet shocking the boar–the hoarse squeals and subsequent furious red glare–these are all things you’ve seen before, just never with the spear in your own hands.

The beast’s eyes are beady, furious, not those of an animal meant to be hunted. It huffs out heavy lungfuls of steam, scraping the ground with its front toes. Its three, long tusks sway dangerously, their points almost glint in the light, sharper than the spear’s.

You tighten your grip on your weapon and stand your ground. This is what it is to be Mandalorian, because to fight is to be alive. Through struggle you can embrace life.

Another cruel shock is delivered by your alor from her vambrance, and the Boar squeals with rage, then charges you. Concordia all but melts away.

Something rushes over you, takes away your agency. You no longer have a name or identity, a body of your own. You are solely an instrument with a task, with The Way, and your heart beats in time with the hoof beats of the boar as it charges.

The first parry makes your stomach drop. You underestimated the strength of the boar–its shaggy appearance by no means matching its strength. The tip of one of the boar’s tusks scrapes across your chestplate, chipping the paint down to sparking metal, shoving you backwards. It shakes your confidence, and that sudden cold shock of fear clears the calm fog in your head.

***

New Mandalore is a pale yellow-white disc in the sky, shrouded in Concordia’s twilight and they have forsaken Kad Ha’rangir and they have forsaken their foreclans–everything that those ancestors learned and achieved in the hopes that those who follow might one day lead Mandalore towards the future. They have shed their armor and with it their past. They have no Way, no Truth, no Honor or Vision–

Even without the open secret of Concordia’s involvment with Death Watch and Pre Viszla’s hand in guiding those true Mandalorians still left back to The Way, you still despise that disc in the sky and–

***

You are hit on the floor. The spear rolls out of reach. The boar charges.

“Buir!” you squeak. “Mom, help me!”

“Stand your ground.” An order is barked.

You scrunch up into a ball as the boar collides with you, its tusks bouncing off your beskar with a terrifying scrape, metalic on metal. You cry out and are thrown across the ground. Your head is spinning as the boar rounds on you again.

Fear drains like color from your face; hot and cold and debilitating.

There are no thoughts left in your head.

You push yourself up to your feet. The spear is still too far away. The boar charges once more and its tusks nearly graze your chestpiece, then you quickly sidestep and squeeze your fist so the vibroblade hidden in your vambrace ignites into angry, solid plasma.

You plant your foot, then carry your momentum through with a quick jab into the boar’s side. The followthrough of your strike is so vicious that your fist itself collides with the boar’s tough hide.

With another piercing squeal, the boar’s momentum carries it another couple steps before it tips over and collapses onto the forest floor, needles and dust sent flying through the air at the impact.

You stare at the dead animal, shivering so badly your knees give out and you collapse onto the ground, unable to unclench the fist igniting your hidden vibroblade. You bury your hands into the soft groundcover, and the acrid smell of burning vegetation makes its way through your helmet’s air filters as you continue to shake. Steam lifts from the forest floor as the blade burns a hole into the ground.

“Ad’ika,” your mother rumbles, “you did well.”

She approaches the boar, pressing her palm to its fatal wound, then she moves to kneel in front of you. She glances down at your shaking hands, then cups the concave cheek of your helmet and lowers her forehead to yours in a kedalbe.

You squeeze your eyes shut and let out a shaky breath, thankful that she cannot see your tears. You bow your head, though danger still runs through your veins, and attempt to speak.

“Thank you.” you croak, voice cracked and hoarse.

The moment is broken when a number of ships lift off from over the cliff where the Kantorek Mine sits just behind you, abandoned at face value, known to those on Concordia as the comfortable staging area of Death Watch.

There is an explosion, blaster bolts are sent flying into the sky, and then the final ship takes off. The boar is still bleeding just feet from where you are knelt.

You and your Alor share a look before she stands, her armor illuminated with the blue glow of a dozen ships’ sublight engines. They rapidly ascend from the atmosphere, Death Watch leaving Concordia without warning.

Something has happened.

“Come,” your Alor says, her voice cutting clear through your muddied head.

You pry your fingers from their fist, your vibroblade retracting into your vambrace, then push yourself up onto your feet.

New Mandalore is still a pale disc above your head, watching with a vacant, hollow glare.

You can feel it, all around you, just at the edges of Mandalorian space the Clone Wars rage. Concordia is a weed that grows through a crack in a courtyard, but you can’t help but wonder if once more, New Mandalore has brought ruin to your doorstep.

Masterlist | Posting Schedule

#sw #tcw #sw imagine #tcw imagine #captain rex x reader #rex x reader #captain rex imagine #rex imagine #tcw x reader #sw x reader #star wars

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techs-ass · 1 year

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Hey there, hi there!!

My name is Malice but you can call me Mal! I'm a shark obsessed nerd who's favorite hobby is thirsting after emotionally unavailable fictional men. ~Welcome to my little slice of fandom heaven~ You'll find everything from Star Wars to Naruto to BG3 to whatever thing I'm currently hyperfixating on~ I mostly reblog art and fanfiction but every once in a while when the stars align and the gods grant me with a singular drop of inspiration, I'll post some of my writing or whatever's pinging around in my tiny brain. Below this you'll see my masterlist. I'm not currently taking any requests atm but please feel free to drop my inbox to say hello!!!

MASTER LIST

Most of this will be Star Wars related but you might occasionally see some other stuff from other fandoms thrown in here. I'll also be keeping all my Shark Sunday posts here too! So if you wanna read some Star Wars smut and then go read about lemon sharks...here's your list.

STAR WARS

The Bad Batch

Headcanons

Favorite Flavors

Hunter

Tech

Empty

Wrecker

Echo

House Full of Love

Crosshair

Did I or Did I Not Say

SHARK SUNDAY

Lemon Sharks

Epaulette Sharks

People I would commit terrible atrocities for <33

Easton, platonic soul mate and best friend, @prime-expansion

Jack, fake boyfriend (yes we got divorced, yes we'll do it again), @thrawns-babyboy

Erron, my favorite bot, @errondaperson

Ness, a literal cinnamon roll, @sun-roach

#masterlist #Techs-ass #how do you tag this thing

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rams-nebulous · 4 months

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Warzone- Report 1

A/N: The rest of this original drabble series can be found on my Ream. It is updated to report 5 but there are 25 planned so far and likely more than 30+ to come. Ream link CW: Horror, gore, zombies, warzone romance, amnesia, fictional war, fem reader (second POV), male OC ---

The stars glittered cold and bright above him, only obscured by the occasional cloud his breath created. He could feel the sting of winter in his lungs, yet he welcomed it compared to where he’d been just a few hours before. It was strange, the world seemed so quite now. But he knew if he stepped just over the hill, around the boulder they’d passed on the way in, he would see the after math from the bomb.

The ringing in his ears had stopped, but the world still rolled beneath him. When the bomb had landed it had trembled, he had trembled. His bones seemed to shake within his flesh and his brain felt as if it were bouncing around his skull. He’d been thrown forward with the aftershock. He was certain he’d vomited due to vertigo or shock. He remembered the intensity of the heat, the flames caressing his skin like a lover turned toxic.

He’d seen so many of his comrades… his friends, fall. Some taken by the explosion within seconds, some left to bleed out as he stumbled away, too unsteady to support himself let alone another. Their voices haunted him in the dark as he stumbled back toward the makeshift camp the medics had made.

They would have noticed he’d wandered off by now.

-End Report

--- Taglist --- Because you helped make the cover @crowned-peony

#writeblr #bookblr #original fiction #original character #horror #romance #second pov #third pov #drabble #drabble series #ream #ream stories

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lehdenlaulu · 1 year

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Okay, arrays are aligned. Time to finish this, I suppose.

"Greezy does it, baby!" Bless.

Well done, baby, victory smooch well deserved. ❤��

So, Tanalorr. How do I get the feeling we somehow haven't seen the last of that one bitch.

You will win that battle, Cal. You will.

Oh, that is such a lovely song. 🥺 I hope someone will cover it.

Guess we really have seen the last of that bitch. Huh.

Fine, Bode, be completely unreasonable.

I don't want to embrace the darkness, there's quite enough of that going on already. 😫

Well. I guess you two are parents now.

The Force Theme? That's cheating. 😭

You're the best Jedi anyone could ever hope to be, Cal. If anyone can do it it's you. Your new padawan/daughter will be fine. 🩵

Okay. Quick verdict: Fallen Order was, unfortunately, absolutely a better story/game than this. To be fair it was a really tough act to follow, story-wise, but frankly, this one often left me wondering if I'd missed some overarching theme, or a scene that would tie it all together, or something. So it ended up feeling like a bunch of ideas hastily thrown together with a ribbon tied on top.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still sniffling here, so it absolutely still got to me emotionally and I love these characters to bits. But the plot was not this game's strongest point, and I don't think the base-building and open-world elements really helped. I enjoyed them, but they did not really serve the story or even tie into it that much. For example, I feel like those meditation chambers should have offered some extra insight into the story instead of rewarding you with stat bonuses etc. and finding Santari Khri's lightsaber should have felt meaningful. But since her story just felt like random background lore, it didn't. Even Dagan Gera and his whole thing with Rayvis ended up feeling like a completely unnecessary side plot, which I guess might have even been the point, but... odd decision, if so. You know?

I mean, maybe I'd feel a little differently if I'd had the chance to play the game more consistently and focus on the story instead of running around finding seeds or whatnot when I occasionally had a spare moment to play.

Ah well. These games are still 100% the best Disney Star Wars has to offer, alongside Rogue One and maybe Andor. And I hope we might get more, though it's difficult to imagine where it might go from here.

#Jedi: Survivor #Jedi: Survivor spoilers #Darna liveblogs stuff #Darna plays video games #Darna plays Jedi: Survivor #Star Wars #Darna talks SW #I mean #getting even mildly spoiled about some of the big twists naturally affected my experience too to be completely fair #the ones that I didn't see coming for one reason or another were delightful #that should be put on record

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gardengnosticator · 2 months

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KAL movie notes

The Point Man. korean action film about kidnapped missionaries in afghanistan during the war on terror. classic jingoistic schlock. foreigners are all bad, the west are all good except for the occasional outlier politician messing things up for the cool ROK army. really interesting to see such a classic us style action set piece translated into a different cultural framework yet be so strikingly similar i got a headache. classic terrorist movie set-pieces where they have the terrorist disguised as a woman in a burka to cause more injuries in a suicide bombing, the afghan government being incredibly corrupt and incompetent, a hard nosed soldier who was traumatised seeing innocent people die in the war on terror (but not the afghan people). mindless trash in that classic action movie style designed to glamorise the intervention in the middle east.

The Boys. a docudrama??? hard to say as its based off a real case but the opening text crawl made a huge effort to say how far away from the source material the film is. a detective moves to a new precinct where an old robbery homicide case catches his eye. he finds out his predecessor forced a confession out of three innocent teens and had them framed for the crime so its his job to bust this corruption scandal wide open. the ending “where are they now” credits says no one in the police was ever penalised for jailing three kids for 16 years so… bit of a downer even when the do the celebratory freeze frame of everyone turning out okay.

Don’t Buy The Seller. thriller about a serial killer who shops for online deals, meets the seller, murders them, sells their goods, rinse and repeat. after selling a faulty washer to a interior designer she goes around giving him negative reviews which interrupt his killing spree because aint no one trusting some 1 star guy selling an IMac, so he seeks her out. intense and a pretty unique setting for a thriller, way way better than a lot of the “technology lets killers get ya” narratives ive seen from the west. the final confrontation is wack, the killer gets smashed through windows, hammered in the head, shot with a nail gun, thrown from a building and still lives. so outlandish i was like completely shocked every time the guy gets up. pretty bloody and brutal overall but defs not a horror or something too gory for a mainstream audience to see.

Remember. a thriller about a korean retiree with dementia seeking vengeance on colonial japan for their crimes alongside in his words korean traitors. again more simple nationalistic spiel but with a john wick esque style badass grandpa murking imperial japanese war criminals. hes also hip and plays starcraft with his young hip friend who works at TGO Fridays with him. the dementia angle is a neat framing device since he makes it clear he has to seek revenge on the japanese army before his own body lets him forget what he and his family endured. some very subtle digs at ROK and the JSDF launching joint military drills as the trigger for him to remember. the officials and ex soldiers he kills are all just 2d villains, the corrupt governor who sold out koreans to japanese soldiers, the academic who frames japans colonisation as “modernising korea”, a politician who claims communism is worse than imperialism (wild moment since the film does not give him any redeeming moments to justify his anticommunist stance) all very easily dislikable and valid targets so at no point does the audience feel any sort of empathy which i vibe with, fuck imperialist collaborators am i right? also the main target is a ex JSDF general called Tojo Hisashi who is campaigning to get rid of article nine of the japanese constitution and render them able to engage in open war, subtle i know.

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sshbpodcast · 3 months

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Tasha Yar vs. Ro Laren: Fight!

By Ames

We’re taking a quick break from our normal character spotlights because I just couldn’t justify doing individual articles about either of these characters, but when I realized I could discuss both of them, I got a little carried away. So welcome, one and all, to the Enterprise-D’s contest between its two resident badass bitches. Your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By needed to know – who wins? Tasha Yar or Ro Laren?

This calls for another Big Board (seen previously when we ranked the Trek films and Star War films)!

To determine this as fairly as possible, we’ve designed this competition and discussed it at length in this week’s podcast episode (jump to 50:53 for the boxscore) to score our two contestants against each other in eleven categories. Not every battle went as we thought it would, there are surprises in store, glavins to be thrown, and the occasional double-cross to keep things interested. Ready? Fight!

Some major spoilers for Picard are below and discussed on the podcast, if anyone cares. Shrug emoji.

1. Childhood History

Yar: If there’s one thing (and one thing only) the writers knew about Tasha Yar when writing her character, it’s that she grew up in a failed colony full of rape gangs. Which she brings up all the time. Like, way too much. We see a brief glimpse of it in a flashback in “Where No One Has Gone Before” and yeah, it does not look fun. Basing a character around horrible trauma for no good reason is just the kind of thing the season one writers did, for better or for worse.

Ro: Ensign Ro arrived when the series was much more established with a much more established history that made for the background of the episode “Ensign Ro.” The whole concept of Cardassia-occupied Bajor came along with her introduction, and the story that she tells about watching her father get tortured to death by Cardassians was the complex foundation that this show (and others!) found worthy to explore.

Winner: Ro Laren. The story of the Bajorans ended up being such a major seed for all of DS9, while the established rape gangs of Yar’s childhood only ended up getting entirely contradicted later in “Legacy.” Speaking of which…

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2. Pre-Enterprise Backstory

Yar: Picard tells Tasha’s sister Ishara in “Legacy” about the first time he saw that woman who would later become the chief of security on the Federation’s flagship. He encountered her rushing to rescue a colonist on a Carnelian minefield. Picard was so impressed that he immediately requested that she join his crew, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Ro: We learn that Ro had a very different standing in Starfleet before her reluctant posting to the Enterprise-D in “Ensign Ro.” Apparently, she got eight crewmen on the Wellington killed due to disobeying orders, and was given the choice between going to prison or performing a mission for the definitely corrupt Admiral Kennelly. Hell, Picard’s first impression of her was basically “I don’t want someone like her on my ship.” Lucky for us, he eventually came around!

Winner: Tasha Yar. These two couldn’t be more different in standing within Starfleet when we first meet them. I’ve got to rule that anyone who piques the interest of Captain Picard is worth a point in this category.

—

3. Friends

Yar: Tasha seems friendly with pretty much everyone on the ship! Worf plays Parrises Squares with her in “11001001” and he even bets on her for a martial arts competition in “Skin of Evil.” We see her borrowing clothes from Troi in “The Naked Now.” And it’s all the more clear that she leaves an imprint on all her friends’ lives when she leaves final words for so many crewmembers after her death in “Skin of Evil.”

Ro: On the other hand, Laren is so much more reserved and particular about who she chooses to spend time with. It’s so significant that Guinan decides to befriend her in “Ensign Ro,” and we see more of their dynamics together in “Rascals.” There was also something hinted at between her and Riker when he says in “The Next Phase” that he wants to deliver her eulogy, but we never get to see what that was.

Winner: Tasha Yar. Clearly she has a rapport with so many of her shipmates in a way that actually affects them deeply and personally, as we’ll see in a moment with Lt. Commander Data.

—

4. Pets

Yar: We see in “Where No One Has Gone Before” that at one point Tasha had a kitty whom she cared for and kept safe from the rape gangs on Turkana IV. Surely, that cat was probably the only good thing going for her through her traumatic childhood.

Ro: None we’re aware of! Your loss, Laren!

Winner: Tasha Yar. This podcast full of cat people has deemed it so! We can’t not spread the love to fellow cat parents, so the winner here was a given.

—

5. Romantic Interests

Yar: I can cite that really hot scene with Data in “The Naked Now” as much as I like, but when you think about it, both of them were under the influence at the time so it’s a little bit squicky. And while it’s clear in episodes like “The Measure of a Man” and in the series Picard that it was meaningful to Data, for Yar, it was just Tuesday. However, the truly lovely romance that we see for her comes in the alternate timeline in “Yesterday’s Enterprise” where she gets to make googoo eyes at Richard Castillo, and we are here for it!

Ro: Similar to that caveat above with the drunken Data, we have to put an asterisk on Laren’s romance scene with Will Riker in “Conundrum” because they were both amnesiacs at the time. Again, there’s something not fully consensual about the thing because they don’t have all the information to know what they’re doing, no matter how much chemistry they have together.

Winner: Tasha Yar. If it had just been a Data versus Riker battle for this category, I’d be uncomfortable making a call because of the lack of the ability to consent involved in both. But that budding romance between Yar and Castillo actually holds meaning for her and we ship them hard!

—

6. Fighting Prowess

Yar: Here’s where we start to put up our dukes in this competition. As chief of security, Tasha clearly kicks some ass. We see this many many times in “Code of Honor.” She drops Lutan’s bodyguard Hagon like a load of bricks in their first meeting, displays her combat skills in the holodeck for the Ligonians, and finally wins in the combat ring against Yareena without killing her. Points off, however, for getting utterly destroyed by Armus in “Skin of Evil,” but we’ll get to that in a minute.

Ro: While phased in “The Next Phase,” we get to see some killer moves from Ro when the phased Romulan confronts her. She sneaks through a wall and gets the jump on Parem, a chase ensues which leads to a fistfight. And while we may have misremembered Ro being the one who threw the guy through a bulkhead (turns out, it was Geordi), she still holds her own and kicks some phased butt!

Winner: Ro Laren. Okay, so we’ve established that both of these women are badasses, so which of them would win in a fight? Put that way, we’ve got to give it to Laren because she’s Maquis and may be more likely to fight dirty. Catfight! Meow!

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7. Command Skills

Yar: I bring up this category mostly to talk about some missed opportunities on both sides! Ro and Troi were the obvious choices for who should have taken charge while dealing with the matriarchal society in “Angel One,” but Riker walks all over them because it turns out all these bitches needed was a man to tell them what’s what. C’mon! This should have been Yar’s show and instead she relinquishes command.

Ro: Similarly, there’s a power vacuum during the disaster in “Disaster” and Ro is this close to mutinying against Troi who is utterly flailing and refusing to make the hard choices. Ro is there and making the right calls for the situation, displaying that she has the nose for command should the situation arise, but frustratingly, nothing comes of it and she has to apologize to Deanna at the end (even though she was right!).

Winner: Ro Laren. After we later see Troi pass the command test by killing holo-Geordi, it stings that much more that we see how right Ro was when she advocated sacrificing the engineering section, so the point goes to her for being willing to make the tough calls.

—

8. Ethical Stands

Yar: Oh boy, the most up on her high horse we see Tasha get is in the infamous scene with Wesley about drug addiction in “Symbiosis.” The whole scene reeks of Nancy Reagan’s war on drugs and the scene feels forced as hell, like an after-school special somehow invaded an episode of Star Trek. And ya know, the messaging was perfectly clear without Yar spelling it out with a heavy-handed “say no to drugs, kids” speech.

Ro: We do give Ro a lot of credit for coming clean to Picard in “Ensign Ro” after that chat with her new bestie Guinan. Ro’s more obvious display of standing up for what she believes is her joining the Maquis, even though it gives Picard a sad in “Preemptive Strike.” BUUUUUUT! Somehow all that gets undone in the Picard episode “Imposters” when she has apparently rejoined Starfleet, shitting all over that big moment of character growth. Oh Laren, you’re making this one tough!

Winner: Stalemate. Sorry, but we’re going to have to give half a point to each since we could not agree on a winner after that episode from Picard really ended up complicating things (as I’m sure Chris refused to cut from our discussion in this week’s podcast episode). We’ll see in a moment how this affects the overall competition in the Verdict section…

—

9. Strategy & Tactics

Yar: This category was meant to be a catch-all of miscellaneous things the characters have done, and it really made us realize that the tactical officer rarely makes decisions that are particularly… tactical? Yar and later Worf seem to get punked whenever they try to do anything. In both her confrontations with Q, she gets knocked out – frozen in “Encounter at Farpoint” and sent to the penalty box in “Hide and Q.” Is there really anything else worth mentioning? No, really. I’m asking. Comment below.

Ro: We see Ro in fewer episodes than we see Yar, but she at least gets to attempt to do some things. Her plan to use the unmanned Bajoran transport to trick Kennelly in “Ensign Ro” was pretty ingenious. While it’s a good idea to try to knock out all the aliens possessing crewmembers’ bodies in “Power Play,” she does miss Data entirely and her little scheme is foiled. And finally, she and the other child-shaped folks in “Rascals” outthink some Ferengi, low bar that that is.

Winner: Ro Laren. This was an easy win for Ro because, frankly, Yar just plain doesn’t get to DO much in her season of Trek, and when she does, she gets Worfed (before Worfing was even a thing!).

—

10. Death(s)

Yar: A character so nice they killed her twice. There is still much controversy over her death in “Skin of Evil” because it’s so abrupt and pointless, but that was the point. Is that a good or bad thing? Aside from her nice post-mortem message, we’re barely affected by it. Her sacrificing herself in “Yesterday’s Enterprise” would have been an excellent resolution to her character… but that seems sullied by the knowledge that she survived, was kept as a Romulan concubine, and then killed when baby goddamn Sela ratted her out, as established in “Redemption.” Dang, Yar can’t catch a break.

Ro: This one’s tricky because it does mean we have to dip into the Picard series, which we haven’t been doing for other characters in our spotlight series because we haven’t covered it on the podcast yet. Say what you will about the myriad character deaths in Picard (and we can, have, and WILL), but Ro’s death fighting the conspiracy in “Imposters” is a pretty good place to resolve her character. She resolves some character stuff with Picard, uncovers a huge Federation-wide plot, and goes out in a blaze of glory. Is there a better way to go?

Winner: Ro Laren. Especially for a Picard death, Ro’s character resolution actually feels earned and not like the writers picking and choosing who lives and who dies just for shock value (*cough cough* Ah cHugh *cough*).

—

11. Personal Style

Yar: Ooh la la. That hair in “Haven.” Get it, girl. We don’t see either of these characters out of uniform very often, so it’s in little personalizing elements that we get to see their own style, and Yar sure knows how to doll herself up for a wedding-planning dinner. I’ll also give a couple nods to that outfit in “That Naked Now,” though I’m pretty sure it’s alluded to that Yar yoinked that from Troi’s closet.

Ro: Ro’s defining stylistic feature is her big Bajoran earring, which she defiantly wears as a statement of heritage, culture, and a big F YOU to Riker, and we like that about her. Her little headband that we see in “The Next Phase” and “Rascals” is a little funny since it’s so matchy matchy with her uniform, so it might be a wash. I’m also gonna say the undercover garb we see her sporting in “Preemptive Strike” doesn’t count because that was for a mission.

Winner: Tasha Yar. Did we include this category just so we could give heart eyes to that great hair pouf from “Haven”? Yes. Yes, we did.

—

Verdict

That’s 5.5 points for Tasha Yar and 5.5 points for Ro Laren. We have a tie! We really weren’t expecting this, though I must admit throwing Yar a few bones (and cats) since I really thought Ro would run away with the whole thing. Even when we tried to agree to stop citing plot elements from Picard so that we could pick Ro as the winner of the Ethical Stands category, then we’d have a stalemate in the Deaths category and we’d STILL have a tie.

So what does that mean for us? Sure, we can continue to claim that Ro Laren is the better written character from a strictly story perspective (and Michelle Forbes of course is a stellar actress), but she also has the advantage of joining the show after the writers’ room chaos of the first couple seasons had sorted itself out. If Tasha Yar had been given that same chance (as we glimpsed in something like “Yesterday’s Enterprise,” we’ve just proven she’s got the potential and backstory to go toe-to-toe with one of our favorite recurring characters from TNG. You go, girls!

—

So our big fight set piece ended with both combatants sort of hugging it out, which seems the Star Trek way! We’re back to our usual character spotlights next week with a character that bridges our trajectory from TNG to DS9 (and it’s not O’Brien!). So join us for that, continue listening along to our Enterprise watch-through on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, do the wave with us over on Facebook and Twitter, and punch like a girl!

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samspenandsword · 1 year

Note

Sam💙💜💗😊 can I please have a ship request!? Man in any era is ok! But preferably prequels/TCW era. NSFW content is ok, but only if you’re comfortable bby 😊

about me: julie, she/her, 26. I’m a fiery, bold, intense short Italian girl with dark brown hair and brown eyes. I’m outspoken, passionate and fight tirelessly for what’s right. I’m also a bit of a sexpot I can’t help it ok 😂 I have an iced coffee/cold brew addiction, my favorite season is summer, I love indie pop and pop punk music and my favorite foods are pizza and pasta. My aesthetic is a weird mix between sexy, sporty, grungey and like urban street wear. My favorite Star Wars planet is probably Onderon or Felucia bc I love all the plants!! I’m so excited to see who you come up with and absolutely congrats on your 300 followers!!! Here’s to 300 more for my talented friend��

JULIE BABE!!!! Okay I love you and I was so excited to write this!! I ship you so hard with Rex (as everyone should lol), but I wanted to write about someone else, cause you're such an amazing person and you are a hot fucking commodity! You would have guys lining up to be with you! I hope February has been going okay for you so far! ❤️

Sam's Pen and Sword 300 Follower Celebration (Closed)

JULIE'S FOLLOWER CELEBRATION REQUEST

Warnings: 18+ (minors gtfo): implied smut, aftercare, afterglow, tooth-rotting, heart-pounding fluff and sweet nothings and confessions.

Ship request 👄

When I was thinking of your request and what I know about you, I really couldn't help but think of our beloved Commander Wolffe. The first time he saw you, you were wearing washed out black skinny jeans, a red crop top with lips to match, your hair in loose waves looking perfect for gripping, and to say Wolffe's eyes were glued to you is an under-fucking-statement. I see Wolffe as someone who in theory would love to have a partner, a companion, but in practice is just far more comfortable with a physical relationship that develops into something more. So you guys would have hot fucking sex to start, and slowly, over time, you would see more and more of Wolffe's golden heart showing. Our commander eyeroll doesn't open up his heart to others easily, but once he does, you can't help but cherish it. I like to think that you'd be the one to introduce Wolffe to the gift that is pizza and pasta and good carbs. He's particularly fond of spicy sausage pizza, homemade lasagna, and a good brown wheat bread, like the kind you'd get at space-Cheesecake Factory. I also think you would be the one to introduce him to cold brew, and though he prefers just regular, black drip coffee, he does find himself occasionally liking the mellower, smoother flavor of cold brew. He's also become quite adept at making your blends and iced coffees in the mornings, both of you a little grumbly until the caffeine fully hits.

Wolffe could feel his heart calm as he came down from his climax. He'd never realized how simultaneously fun and intense and passionate sex could be until you came into his life. And he had quickly become addicted to the feeling of you around him, surrounding him, on top of him, beneath him. He simply became addicted to you. In the same way you always (semi-jokingly) said you couldn't live without your morning iced coffee, he had come to realize that you were simply essential. Essential to his life and his heart. Essential to him. You were curled up into his side, leg thrown over his, dark hair a spectacular mess he proudly owned up to. Your skin was slightly tacky, still slightly slickened from the aftermath of your activities. But Wolffe found he didn't mind, hand smoothing down the curve of your spine. You simply wiggled closer, sighing happily, and Wolffe knew he'd do anything to hear that little sigh as often as possible. For it, too, felt essential. "Comfortable, cyar'ika?" Wolffe's tone had a hint of his normal, dry humor in it, but was overwhelmingly fond. He dropped a slow kiss to your crown. "Mmm." "Should get you cleaned up," Wolffe rumbled, not making any effort to get up and do so. You didn't move either. "Mhmm." Several minutes passed, nothing but content silence and loving touch passing between the two of you. And then, as if in sync, you lifted your head from where it lay on his shoulder and he dipped down. The kiss was sated, slow, and contained a rare tenderness for the two of you. Wolffe instantly knew he wanted to kiss you like this more often. "Come on, mesh'la. I'll make coffee after we shower." The speed at which you leapt up and bounded into the fresher made Wolffe chuckle. Forty minutes, and another pair of orgasms later, you were perched on the kitchen counter, smiling as Wolffe set down a glass of iced coffee, straw curled into a fun little twist. You sipped it happily and Wolffe smiled fondly at you, raising his own steaming mug to his lips. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of the gentle, content curl of his lips, just as it always did. "Come here," you said, reaching forward to cradle the back of his neck. Wolffe leaned forward, returning your kiss. He tasted heady and of coffee, and it made your head spin. "Thanks." Your voice was quiet, barely a whisper against his lips. You weren't just thanking him for the coffee, but you weren't sure you had the courage to speak your heart quite yet. But Wolffe didn't need you to. Your words were confession enough for him. "Anytime, cyar'ika," he murmured back, pressing your lips together once more. "Anytime." And his words were confession enough for you, too.

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