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blush-and-books · 3 years

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always you-shaped thoughts inside my head

so, we found wonderland, the amazing fanfic by @pink-flame ended this week. as a result of my deep and sorrowful mourning, i wrote a fanfic for a fucking fanfic. yes, everyone, we have reached that point. so if you’re one of the unfortunate souls who hasn’t read it then you can start here and do not read this if you don’t want spoilers babes!!!!

anyways, i don’t want to talk about how much i cried when i wrote this. moving on. title from find u again by mark ronson ft. camila cabello and once again THANK YOU @pink-flame FOR THIS WORK, I LOVED IT, I LOVE YOU, ENJOY

A/N: the first part of this is a reimagining of a scene from the story, and the second part is more of a deleted scene. grab tissues if you’re one who cries easily. also tagging @bluefirewrites because i kept texting you while writing this

Julie doesn’t know in what timeline she thought that going to the bookstore would be a good idea.

Even with her back flat against the wall and Luke’s book clutched identically between her hands and the palms of every other eager fan in the room, she felt like she was too close. Like this was a mistake.

She was the one who insisted they don’t look for each other.

But here they were. Him, with a poem that crossed time with the silent, lost plea for her to come back to him; her, who chose to answer the call even if she knew she shouldn’t have. Julie should have realized that she couldn’t avoid him forever. Their paths were meant to cross in every universe.

When he takes the stage, she doesn’t shatter. Yet.

People are swamped beside her and Flynn on all sides, and she still feels like it’s just the two of them. Once he’s in her line of sight, it’s only him in the room, only him that exists.

In a world where she’s jumped to and from across time, Luke may be the most real thing she’s ever known.

The words he says as he reads and answers questions hit her ears as just a series of tones and syllables that are achingly familiar. He’s laughing through one of the book’s anecdotes and suddenly she’s back in the arcade, laughing with him at the pinball machine. He’s talking about the rush of playing their first sold-out show, and she’s back in the greenroom as he heatedly kisses her up against a wall after she spent so much time fighting for him to love her again.

He’s reading about his parents, and she’s back on that pull-out couch that was only comfy when he was in it; listening to him whisper about their fragmented relationship.

But then a 20-year-old pokes him about the poem. And he says he loves her -- well, not explicitly, but he says it’s about love -- and the other shoe drops.

Tears inundate her eyes.

“I have to go,” her voice shakes as a sob threatens to rip through her words. Flynn offers to join, but Julie needs fresh air and to be alone and to just let her tears fall onto the asphalt of an alleyway without feeling the need to explain herself. She will always be alone in these emotions, in this heartbreak, and that’s okay -- she just doesn’t want anyone to act like they get it.

So she passes her book to Flynn, urges her to get it signed, and flees out the side door.

Right before she’s out, the 20-year-old presses on about Find Me: “Well, what if they came to you now? What if they found you? Wouldn’t you be happy to see them?”

The exit slams shut behind her and she doesn’t get to hear his answer.

“Well, what if they came to you now? What if they found you? Wouldn’t you be happy to see them?”

Flynn watches intently as Luke’s eyes darken. The book feels heavy in her hands, and she feels like she is suddenly intruding on an intimate moment between Luke and Julie -- even with Julie gone.

She didn’t always understand what happened with her best friend. But this was clearly a mind, body and soul situation.

Luke has to clear his throat and blink rapidly before answering. “God, sorry, that one caught me a little!” The audience chuckles. “No one’s asked me that so far on this tour. That’s a good question. I probably think about it more than I should, but… I mean, first of all, they wouldn’t come and find me. I know them well enough to know that Find Me just… Went out into the universe with no expectation of a response. But if they decided too, I… I’d wanna make sure they were happy. And I’d probably thank them one more time for everything they did when I was younger. I would probably be in shock, honestly. I haven’t seen them in a long time.”

Flynn is wiping her nose with a stray tissue from her purse before she can even register that she’s started crying.

The random people in the back row with her send her strange looks, wondering why she’s getting so emotional, but hearing Luke talk about her best friend like that…

“Do you still love them?”

God, this person won’t give him a break!

The rockstar visibly tenses up, and the easy grin plastered on his face breaks. That’s when his manager hustles onstage and announces that they are going to start the signing; and everyone needs to start lining up.

Flynn has to fight to get farther up in line, but it’s worth it when she reaches him.

“Hi,” he smiles, “who should I make it out to?”

The word makes her tongue feel like lead. “Julie.”

His head snaps up, and he’s fully looking at her for the first time. There are a thousand Julie’s in the world, but he knows it’s his.

“I’m her best friend,” Flynn continues, shifting her teary eyes down to her converse because fuck Julie wasn’t kidding when she said his eyes were intense sometimes.

“Flynn.”

“Oh... She told you-”

“Where is she? Is she here?”

She’s not even looking at him, but he sounds so desperate, and the water in her eyes swells as she glances at the exit off to her side. “Not right now. But she wanted me to get this signed for her.”

Luke’s Sharpie doesn’t move across the inside cover. In fact, he’s frozen; staring off in the distance with what Flynn is sure must be a whirlwind of emotion that he didn’t ask for. Flynn isn’t sure how to handle it -- they’re in public, and she’s minorly concerned she just sent him spiraling, and they don’t even know each other -- but she feels the need to relay a message since he’ll never get to hear it from Julie himself.

“She…” Luke looks back up at her; eyes boring into hers in a way that could tug the truth out of anybody. As she blinks, an enthusiastic tear drops onto her cheek, and she instantly lifts her index finger under her eye to catch anything else. “Fuck, my eyeliner. Sorry. Anyways-”

The words get caught in her throat again, so she has to take another deep breath. Helping star-crossed lovers communicate when they are almost thirty years apart is more emotionally taxing than she anticipated.

“She’s really proud of you,” Flynn finally manages with a voice squeakier and higher than she ever wants to hear it again. Another tear falls from her other eye. “She loves y- your music, and hopes that you have everything you wanted and she’s so proud of you for everything you’ve built.”

At this point, the crumpled tissue in her hand has been helping her dry her eyes because standing in front of Luke Patterson and trying to tell him that the love of his life still cares -- still watches from afar, still wants the world for him -- is making her realize the emotional turmoil that Julie must have been feeling all this time.

How did she do it?

In front of her, Luke is rubbing his hands over his face and audibly takes a deep, sniffly breath in. Turning to the same woman who got onstage to transition the event before, he informs her: “I need to get some air.”

“Luke, where are you-”

But he’s already forcefully pushing himself back in his chair, grasping the book off of the signing table, and darting out the same exit that Julie stormed through ten minutes ago.

When the manager turns to look at Flynn -- she bolts away and towards the front entrance. If Julie and Luke are about to meet in that alleyway, she doesn’t want to intrude. Even if she already fucked up both of their plans to never see each other again.

Julie is still hyperventilating and sobbing in the alleyway when the emergency exit loudly flings open against the wall of the bookstore. Her arms are wrapped tightly around herself with a childish prayer to have Teddy Luke in her arms, because at least then there would be a little piece of him to stay with her when the rest of him is gone.

She’s expecting Flynn, or an employee on their smoke break, but not-

“Luke.”

“Julie.”

A whimper leaves her lips at hearing him say her name for the first time in so long. His own eyes are glassy, and even though he’s so much older his eyes are still the same. He’s still her Luke, and that’s such a dangerous idea to touch in this timeline but she can’t let it go.

“I’m so sorry,” she wails, trying to avoid looking at his heartbroken expression for too long. “I know, I said we can’t do this, I just-”

“Julie.”

“Did you want me to find you?”

Air puffs from his mouth in a harsh sigh as he takes a few steps closer to her; incredulously focused on the fact that she’s there, in front of him, real. “I- Of course, of course I did, Julie. I just didn’t think you’d come. But I wanted you to know I was looking.”

Her eyelids fall shut. More tears are pushed out, and she doesn’t know if she’s crying or laughing because of course Luke would look even when she told him not to. He respected her, and he respected her wishes, but he could never help himself from pushing the boundaries.

Achingly, she’s always been so grateful for that trait in him.

But now the two of them are awkwardly standing only a few feet away, and the urge to just feel him, assure that he’s solid in front of her is becoming all too real.

Gravel rolls under the soles of her shoes. “I loved the book,” she confesses. “All of the stories. I mean, I’m sorry about the- About your splits-”

“I shouldn’t have even tried with them-”

“But everything else, just…”

How does she say it?

“When- Back when, in the other timeline, and you guys were ghosts… Those stories were the kind of thing you had always wanted. You were so determined to get it, and-” She sniffles. “I’m so glad you got it.”

His lips turn downward. It’s a flash of the familiarly frustrated Luke who is trying to make a tough decision, but in this case, she doesn’t know what that decision is. All she sees is the wince at her saying it was what he wanted, and how happy she was that he got it, and-

A conceited part of her contemplates if he’s about to correct her, tell her that life hasn’t been great, say that he would have rather had it differently; but he doesn’t want her to think her sacrifice was for nothing.

Oh, God, please say he’s happy. She doesn’t think she could handle anything less.

“It’s thanks to you,” he responds instead, gulping down any more that threatens to come up. “You saved me.” Beat. “Are- Are you happy? Is everything in this timeline okay?”

Well, in her head, not exactly. Of course she still had her dad and brother and Flynn, but Sunset Curve never stayed together, she erased Carrie’s entire existence, and everything felt just a little tilted on its axis. Julie felt like a stranger in a world of her own creation.

She yearned for the days back in Wonderland where everyone belonged. They were a little scarred and a little broken, but they were home. Her house from the original 2020 timeline was her home. Luke was her home, and he was right in front of her; the only security blanket she has right now.

Once again, she finds herself bursting into tears and wanting so badly to reach out to him, to give him a hug and tell him she wishes that she stayed in bed in Wonderland with him forever. She wants to jump back down the black hole and go back to 1995 when things made more sense than they did now and Luke could be hers again; and not a distant love that could never materialize in the present.

Julie, miraculously, holds herself back. But watching Luke’s hands flinch at the sight of her crying doesn’t make things easier.

“Please don’t cry.” His voice is a whisper but the words hit with a force that almost buckles her knees. “Julie, please, take a deep breath.”

She takes in a breath that makes her lungs expand into her ribs. “I’m happy,” she lies through her teeth as she breathes out slowly. “I’m happy. We’re happy.”

“Good.”

Tears are running down his face. She recalls a time where it was easy for her to hold his face and swipe under his eyes with her thumbs until there were no more tears for her to kiss away.

In unison, they clear their throats and shift their eyes. The air changes; they know they’re in a public place again, and Luke is an adult musician, and he’s with a fan. He holds his hand up, the one that has the book, and shakes it a little back and forth.

“Flynn said you wanted this signed?”

A watery smile blooms on her face in spite of the bitter moment. “Yeah,” she nods. “Thought it could be another memento.”

To put emphasis on the idea, she lifts up onto her tiptoes and tilts her voice up. Make it a more positive moment. Don’t dwell. Stop crying.

You can’t change things now.

Luke pops the cap off with his teeth, and toys around with it in his mouth like it’s one of his marked-up guitar picks as he holds the book open and scribbles something (probably illegible) on the inside of the front cover.

Then, once he’s done there, he starts flipping the pages around like he knows where every detail of the story is and marks up certain pages with… Something. She doesn’t know. After he’s made his wanted notes, he writes something out on the last page before firmly shutting it and returning it to her possession.

“Thank you,” she smiles simply as she pulls the book from his hands and carefully assures that their hands don’t overlap. If she touches him, she falls apart.

Luke hums in response.

Stupidly, Julie decides that moment to open up the book and see what he wrote while he’s standing right in front of her. But she isn’t thinking about him, or looking at him -- she’s looking at the inside cover.

We were always meant to find each other. Don’t forget that - please.

Yours,

Luke

When a tear drops on the page, she quickly turns farther into the book because she doesn’t want her feelings to ruin his beautiful, even if messy, words. These words are all she’ll have after today.

The few pages in the book that he made notes on were just little things that she never knew she needed to hear.

The chapter about his first sold out stadium show? Thought of you the whole time

When he heard he was nominated for a Grammy? Wanted to call you first

The night he won his first Grammy? Almost thanked you in my speech

The last page he wrote on was the Acknowledgements page. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t that long. Luke kept a core circle of people and that was that. But below that short list, in bold, black letters:

To Julie Molina, who sacrificed everything so that I could be able to tell these stories. I wish she could have been a part of them.

Her tears slip from her face so clear and quickly that she’s surprised her tear ducts are generating such a mass amount. The words replay in her head, in Luke’s voice, over and over. The affirmation that he wanted her with him all this time.

But she had to go again. This had to be a one-time thing. This hurt too much for her to put either of them through it again, and besides -- now she had closure in his own writing; with her tears notarizing each word.

“It’s time, Julie,” she mutters to herself. “It’s time.”

To say goodbye. Again.

But Luke never answers. It’s dead silent, even though cars should be racing on the road behind them. When she looks up, Luke is frozen to the spot. Everything is, except her.

“Time is a funny thing isn’t it? Just when you think you have a handle on it, it manages to surprise you.”

It’s Willie, but not actually Willie. The one who was giving her the clues and trying to lead her in directions all over 1995; the one who she hasn’t seen in a really, really long time. For a moment, she doesn’t believe it.

But he tells her that fate is in her hands. This is her choice. And despite the doubt that lingers uneasily in her chest, she can’t help but be desperate for this to be real.

“Why not you? Who better than Julie Molina? Teenage girl with a good heart and music in her soul. Braver than most. Why not you?”

Julie jumped across time to save her boys, and now she is willing to make the trip again if it means there’s a chance of saving them all.

But there’s one more thing she wants to do. Just before everything either is perfect again or goes to complete shit.

Spinning away from Willie, she takes a second glance at Luke’s still frame and softens her face into a smile. He had been looking down at her while she was reading his notes with tears in his eyes and a sad grin on his face.

No one is looking or judging anymore -- so she stands on her toes and throws her arms around his neck, squeezing him close even if he can’t hug her back. She’s been dying to do this since she saw him in the bookstore.

And it feels like coming home.

“I’ll find you again,” she whispers into his ear that probably isn’t listening. “I promise.”

And without any more hesitation, she turns back to Willie with her chin up and shoulders back.

“What do I have to do?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The book never finds its way back to her the way that the bear does or the way that the ring does.

But that’s okay, because the bookstore does, and she’s with Luke when she registers that they are walking by the bookstore on their way to meet everyone at one of their favorite diners.

By now, Luke had been told everything. She felt herself starting to fall in love with this third Luke just as she had all the others, but could never tell if he was falling back in love with her. Julie found herself -- while this timeline was infinitely better than the old one -- pining for Luke to come back to her and love her like he did in two other lifetimes.

Their hands were brushing each other’s on the sidewalk when the bookstore sign met her eyes.

“Jules?”

Her feet are glued to the cement; her eyes are glued to the alleyway. Luke approaches behind her and lays a hesitant hand on her shoulder.

“Jules, are you- Is everything okay?”

“Can we take a detour, really quick?”

And suddenly, he’s letting her lace her fingers through his and pull him through traffic -- no crosswalk in sight -- across the street to stand in front of a bookstore that has zero meaning to him whatsoever. Julie selfishly revels in his calluses rubbing her knuckles and doesn’t make a move to let go unless he will.

He doesn’t. At least, until they hit the alleyway.

“Julie, what is this place? Why are we out here? Is this… Did I like it here, or something?”

They never spoke much about the Luke’s of other timelines. Julie quickly caught onto the fact that he got uncomfortable when she talked about guys with his name and face that he knew virtually nothing about even though he felt pressured to know everything.

But he dealt with her when she had moments like these. She never thanked him properly for it.

“It wasn’t like that,” she shakes her head, “we were here in the other 2020. The one where you were older, and this huge Grammy-winning solo musician. The one that was a result of what I did in 1995.”

The exit door is still rusty on the hinges. The brick is the same shade of red, and-

“Okay… And? What did you guys do?”

His use of third person is a clear message. “Him and I had made this promise in ‘95 that we wouldn't find each other, right?” “Because he would be old.”

“Yeah. But he published this book and had a whole signing tour called Find Me, and Flynn told me we should go, and… Basically, I had a mental breakdown at seeing him, and then he came back here and signed the book for me, and we talked, and-”

Her voice cracks. Her eyes feel wet.

Fuck.

Can’t she make it one timeline without sobbing in an alleyway?

A familiar hand rubs up and down her back as she stares, firmly, at the spot where her and Luke were so vividly standing and talking and pining for the other.

“Jules, hey, look at me.”

Because it’s Luke -- because it’s her Luke -- she listens to him, and rotates to face him. The soft fabric of his shirt hits her cheeks as he presses his fingers into the cotton and lifts his hand to wipe the tears from her face in a gesture that tempts her to cry more. Instead, she tries to laugh it off. “God, I really need to stop having meltdowns in alleyways, huh?” He stays quiet; looking at her in a recognizable Luke way that reminds her of all of their loving times in other lives. But she can’t get her hopes up. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like when I talk about it. Sometimes I just-”

“You need to,” he nods. “I get it.”

Her feet are planted identically where they were in alternate-2020. But Luke is in a different spot, because this is a new Luke. One that’s right in front of her, lightly holding her arms; not one that’s a few feet out of reach.

“He told me that we would always find each other.” Her voice is watered down, and quiet, but Luke is close enough to hear it.

“Well, he was right, wasn’t he? We did it. For like, the fourth time, according to you.”

And then, she’s hit with a Luke Patterson smile. She sees it all of the time now but it never gets old because he’s young, and he’s happy, and he’s here.

Her lips turn up to reflect it, and in a shocking turn of events: Luke instigates the hug.

They are nearly best friends, so they’ve hugged before. But this one is different.

His arms fold around her shoulders and tug her close and snug into his chest so that his chin is nearly resting on her hair. This leaves her able to press him close to her with her arms wrapped tightly and lovingly around his waist -- almost, dare she say it, like he was a teddy bear.

“I never said I’m sorry,” he murmurs into her forehead. “Or thank you, for that matter.” “For what?” “I’m sorry you went through so much for me. For us. It still affects you a lot and I’m sorry you have to carry that alone.” His chest rises and falls under her cheek as he takes a deep breath, and she doesn’t think she’ll ever get tired of feeling him breathe or hearing his heartbeat. “And thank you for loving us enough to do it. You sacrificed a lot.”

She is too choked up to verbally comment -- but she squeezes him tighter, almost tempting her arms to swish through him.

They don’t.

And Luke continues talking after a moment of a peaceful silence. “It’s kind of cool, though, for me to think about this person I have in the universe. You know? The whole thing with us finding each other. I always have you, no matter where I am. You’ll be out there.”

“Always,” she sighs into his chest, because she can’t help it. It took them a few tries, but here they are: In the same timeline, with full family and friends and lives, in a reciprocated hug.

“Always.” Luke repeats the word, almost feeling it out in his mouth. “Well, thanks for doing it again. Maybe let me do the work next time. You need a break.”

God, this Luke is always so good at making her laugh. Ghost-Luke was, too, but the other Luke’s and her were always swept up in emotionally-taxing situations for her to be laughing like she could when she was with this Luke.

It was almost as if this one had practice. Maybe those other lives were kicking in.

He was her final Luke, hopefully.

As she props her chin up on his chest, she gives him the widest grin she’s worn all day. “I would appreciate that. Just don’t take too long.” Her forehead nuzzles itself into his neck as she settles herself back into his arms; fully content to be wrapped up in him for as long as he will let her stay. “I’ll get worried.”

A soothing hand over her hair is all the confirmation she needs.

“Don’t worry, Boss. I’ll be there.”

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #juke #jukebox #jatp fanfic #juke fanfic #we found wonderland

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jaehyunfirstlove · 3 years

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Fly away with me...

Pairing: Jaehyun x f. reader

Genre: meet-cute, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, smut (18+ only)

Warnings: aerophobia (fear of flying), mentions of anxiety, panic attacks, death, afterlife, unprotected sex

Word count: 2.8k

Taglist: @jaehyunnie77 (send me a message if you want to be tagged in future fics)

A/N: this came out of a conversation between me and @jaehyunnie77 :) Hope you like it!

Your palms were sweating.

The uber driver chattered the whole way to the airport, and you wished you could’ve paid attention but your mind kept going over all the ways the flight could go wrong. It’s not that you hadn’t ever flown before, you had, except you were a kid the last time and therefore too young to understand all the different ways it could end in disaster.

“... we’re here.”

You snapped out of it long enough to realize the car had stopped, and the driver was regarding you with an exasperated expression.

“Ah, yes, we’re here,” you repeated, but made no move to get out of the car. He sighed.

“Miss, I have another ride waiting,” he motioned to a person standing outside the car with their luggage in tow. You sighed heavily, and got out of the car reluctantly.

“Have a safe flight!” the driver called out as you closed the car door, and oh how you wished for the same thing.

---

You watched the clock ticking towards your flight with a sense of dread, with every minute your heart beat faster, your palms clammy with sweat. You wrung your hands, pacing in the terminal while everyone else sat calmly waiting for their flights.

How could they be so calm? You thought to yourself, wishing you had even an ounce of their resolve. You were practicing your breathing exercises when the dreaded announcement came over the loudspeaker.

“Flight 127, now boarding.”

You panicked, your heart beating out of your chest. You spun around frantically, in a confused delirium, stopping when you started to feel lightheaded. You could hear people speaking around you but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. Finally, your eyes focused and there was someone standing in front of you, the sunlight streaming into the windows framing his head like a halo. His hand was outstretched towards you, and when you looked at his face he was the most beautiful person you had ever seen.

I must be dead, you thought, he must be an angel

“Are you okay?” he certainly sounded like an angel, his voice like warm honey. You welcomed death if this was what lay in store for you. You smiled just as he reached for you, and then your world went black.

---

Your hearing came back first, and the first thing you heard was birds chirping. You opened your eyes, momentarily blinded by the rays of sunlight peeking through the leaves in the tree above you.

I’m in heaven, you thought, that’s interesting

“Oh, you’re awake,” someone’s face came into your vision, and you recognized him as the angel from the terminal. It warmed your heart that he had accompanied you to the afterlife, and you smiled at him in gratitude. “How are you feeling?”

“Perfectly fine,” you replied, because you thought you were. Except that when you tried to sit up, your head spun like a top.

“Easy,” the angel held you up by your shoulders, looking with concern into your eyes, “you fainted back there, just take it slow for now.”

Your short term memory suddenly caught up to you, and you remembered the events that had transpired to bring you to your current state.

“Ah, right,” you rubbed your head in embarrassment, suddenly aware that he wasn’t an angel, just a complete stranger who had helped you when you fainted. You looked around at your surroundings in confusion, very aware now that you were no longer in the airport. “Um, where are we?”

“A doctor examined you and said you’d be okay, that you’d probably just need some air, so I brought you out here. It’s a park across from the airport.” He pointed across the street and sure enough you saw planes taking off, thankful that you weren’t on any of them.

“Oh. Well, thanks. You didn’t have to do all that.” You were grateful of course, but you felt bad that he had gone to all that trouble for you, probably missing his own flight in the process. He just smiled, and you noticed the most adorable dimples emerge on his face.

“It’s not a problem. I couldn’t just leave you lying on the floor like that.” He replied, and in that moment he really did resemble an angel. His hair fluttered softly in the breeze, the smile on his face reaching his eyes. He wore a white button-down shirt that almost glowed in the bright sun, setting off the smoothness of his skin. You wanted to stop staring but your eyes wouldn’t obey you.

“Well, um, I’m sure you have things to do? I hate that I took up so much of your time.” You sat up carefully as he watched you, but as soon as you were upright and feeling better, your stomach suddenly grumbled. You clutched it in embarrassment, but he only laughed.

“Listen, why don’t you let me help you get some food somewhere, and if you still want me to leave I definitely will. Deal?” he held out his hand, eyes wide, eyebrows raised. You couldn’t help yourself, you took his hand, unable to get over how warm it was and how it engulfed your entire hand, and shook it.

“Alright, let’s go,” you smiled, “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“Nice to make your acquaintance, Y/N. I’m Jaehyun,” he bowed to you dramatically, still holding your hand, and you had to laugh. He definitely wasn’t an angel, you thought, shaking your head, but he might be a disney prince in disguise.

---

You discovered a cafe down the street, having a really pleasant conversation along the way. You found Jaehyun was a good conversationalist, listening attentively when you spoke, contributing his own anecdotes here and there as appropriate. When you reached the door of the cafe you were actually a little disappointed. You enjoyed his company, and wanted to spend more time with him, but you were hesitant to ask, not wanting to come off as too forward since you just met.

“Oh, I know this place,” he said as he peeked in the window, “they make the best croissants.”

“Oh yeah?” what a perfect excuse for an invitation, you thought, “let me get you one? It’s the least I can do, after you went to all that trouble for me.”

He stared into the window for a minute, and your heart sank, thinking he was going to say no. But then he turned to you, with that dimpled smile.

“Sure,” he said, pushing the door open for you, “they really are too good to pass up.”

You’d lost track of how much time had passed as you sat in the cafe with him, empty coffee cups and half-eaten croissants littering your table. He had the quirkiest sense of humor which had you in stitches, and whenever he would tell a story you found you would listen with rapt attention. Whenever you spoke he would watch you with a smile, eyes bright, and he would look away now and then, but almost hesitantly, like he couldn’t take his eyes off of you but he didn’t want to come off as a creep. Customers streamed in and out, and it was only when someone walked by you, talking loudly into their phone about their missed flight, that brought you into reality.

“I guess I should try to get on the next flight,” you sighed with dread. If it hadn’t been a business trip you would have just called an uber and gone home. As it was, your boss would kill you if you missed this trip. Jaehyun nodded and looked away. You thought he might have looked disappointed, but you definitely didn’t want to get your hopes up.

Calling the airline you found out the only flight with availability wasn’t leaving until the morning. They offered to put you up in a hotel nearby and you accepted, not wanting to deal with the hassle of having to go all the way home and come back again.

“So it looks like I have to stay in a hotel for the night, the next flight isn’t leaving until the morning,” you told him with a heavy sigh. Again you didn’t relish the idea of parting from him.

“I can walk you,” he offered. It didn’t seem like he wanted to part from you either. “I mean, if you don’t mind, of course,” he added with a shrug, trying to appear cool with your decision if you said no.

You couldn’t help it, but you broke out into a huge grin. You felt like a giddy schoolgirl who found out her crush reciprocated her feelings.

“That would be really nice,” you nodded, and the smile he shot your way actually made you weak in the knees. You wondered again if you were keeping him from something, but decided he wouldn’t really be spending this much time with you if he didn’t want to. He had ample chances to leave but he didn’t take them.

As you approached the door of the hotel you noticed his footsteps slowing down, until he finally stopped just a few feet from the door. You turned to look at him, wondering why he’d stopped.

“I guess I’ll leave you here,” he said quietly. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, and was looking down at the ground so you couldn’t see his face. “I’m not good with goodbyes.”

Your heart and mind warred inside you, a fierce battle that ended with your heart in victory. Your mind told you not to do it, but your heart always won out in the end. With no words spoken between you, you slipped your hand in his and tugged him towards the entrance of the hotel.

---

It occurred to you that you probably should have thought this through a bit more, that inviting someone you’d basically just met up to your hotel room might not have been the best decision, but when he pulled yet another orgasm out of you there was no room for debate anymore.

“Does that feel good?” he asked, rubbing your clit gently, making sure it was coated with your juices so the pad of his thumb could glide more easily around the nub.

You only moaned in response as you arched your back off the bed, unsure if you could give him another orgasm but he sure was convincing you. He started kissing up your neck, entering you for a second time that night and you cried out, slightly over-sensitive but still so aroused from everything he’d been doing. It was clear he wanted to make you feel good, his own pleasure almost secondary, learning your body and reacting accordingly.

This time around he went slow, taking his time pleasuring you, his hands and lips all over your body. He rolled his hips achingly slowly, building up your pleasure gradually, so that when you hit your peak it was amplified to a mind-numbing degree. Your vision went white, your toes curled, as you squeezed him, bringing him to his own high with a deep groan.

You lay in his arms afterward, sweaty and satiated, and soon enough fell into a deep sleep.

---

You woke to the sound of his voice, muffled and sounding far away. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes you checked the clock: four in the morning. You’d have to get up in a couple hours for your flight, so you searched the room in the dark to bring him back to bed. The door to the bathroom was slightly open, and coming closer you heard his voice again. You peeked in to see him sitting on the edge of the bathtub, talking to someone on his phone. When he noticed you he motioned for you to go back to bed, and he would join you when he was done. You wondered who he would be talking to at that time but figured it was probably none of your business. You waited in bed and he finally came back, slipping in behind you and wrapping his arm around your waist.

“Sorry about that,” he whispered against your neck, his hand coming up to cup your breast.

“It’s okay,” you breathed, and all thoughts of the call flew out of your head as his other hand slipped between your legs.

---

The next morning you woke to an empty bed. You got up and checked the bathroom but he wasn’t there. There was no note either, you practically tore apart the bed looking for one. You thought maybe he’d gone to get breakfast so you waited a few minutes, but when you got a notification that your flight was boarding soon you checked out of the hotel and made your way to the airport.

You tried not to be disappointed, you tried hard not to be hurt, you told yourself that you barely knew him so it shouldn’t affect you so much, but the tears that pricked your eyes couldn’t be stopped. You wiped angrily at them, angry with yourself, angry with him.

As you approached the terminal your phone suddenly rang, and it was a number you didn’t recognize. Answering it, your heart leapt at the sound of his voice.

“Y/N,” his voice sounded strained, sad.

“Jaehyun,” you wanted to yell at him, you wanted to be angry, but hearing him again just made you want him more.

“I’m so sorry,” he began, “you don’t have to accept my apology, but I needed to explain. Will you hear me out?”

You found a seat in the terminal and sat down, not sure if you were ready for what he was about to say. You even briefly considered saying no, and hanging up, and forgetting about him completely. But you knew you could never forget the angel who’d saved you, who’d charmed you, who’d pleasured you to the point that you’d forgotten your own name.

“Okay,” was all you could say in response.

He let out a deep sigh before he began his story. He told you he’d been at the airport because his flight had just landed, he was back in town to meet with his ex-girlfriend. He had been stalling, wasting time in the terminal because he knew she wanted to get back together with him and he wasn’t sure what to do. He told you he’d been looking for a sign, and that’s when you had shown up in his life.

“It was like a miracle, you know? I literally asked for a sign, and then all of a sudden you were in front of me, fainting into my arms. I couldn’t think of a surer sign than that.” He continued, and you could tell even over the phone that he was smiling at the memory. “I had only meant to get you some help and that was it, but I couldn’t just leave you there afterwards, and I know there were so many times during our time together when I could have left, should have left, really, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I was so insanely charmed by you, I couldn’t leave you if I tried.”

“So what’s changed then? Why did you leave now?” you asked bitterly.

He sighed deeply again, and when he spoke again his voice sounded resigned. “The phone call I got in the middle of the night was from my ex, she was understandably mad that I had stood her up. I explained to her what happened but she just got more upset, so I figured I should meet with her like I had promised to.” He paused but your heart was beating out of your chest at the suspense.

“Are you there now?” you asked, wondering if they had gotten back together.

“No,” he responded right away, “I left. Actually, she threw me out. She was really angry.”

“So… you didn’t get back together?” you needed him to confirm it in so many words.

“No. I never wanted to. I should have just told her that in the first place.” He took a deep breath, and you held your own breath waiting for what he was going to say next. “Y/N, you don’t have to listen to me, you can hate me if you want, I’d understand, but…” He paused, like he was losing his nerve, but seemed to rally and went on. “I really want to see you again. When you get back from your trip I’ll be waiting in the terminal, and if you don’t want to see me just keep on walking.”

“And what if I do want to see you?” you asked hesitantly. You didn’t have to see him to know he was smiling.

“Then I know a cafe that makes awesome croissants.”

---

When you landed from your trip he was there just like he said. He wore the same white button-down shirt, the sunlight from the window once again framing his head like a halo. His smile was only for you, his hands behind his back hiding a bouquet of pink peonies.

You walked towards him, and without any doubts in your mind, you wrapped your arms around him, falling into his embrace.

#jaehyun imagines #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun smut #nct imagines #nct smut

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inkweaver22-blr · 3 years

Text

Welcome to lucky chapter 13!

A few announcements before we begin!

First, we got fan art! Shout out to @ooflifeshard for their art of the Jin/Yin/Tang fusion!

Second, I post extra thoughts on my writing process and the chapter in general on my Tumblr! Look up the tag Fanfiction Live Blogging to read them!

Now let’s get on with the story!

AO3 Link

Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Thirteen: Aspects of Arachnids

The Spider Clan is made up of some interesting people. That includes MK this time.

----------

“So what did you want to talk about Mr. Tang?”

They were taking a walk through a secluded park. Tang had asked to speak with the young man privately once he had woken in this cycle to address a recent memory he had received.

“I wanted to apologize to you, MK,” Tang said. MK tilted his head in confusion.

“What for?”

“For the way I treated you last week.”

MK tensed.

“I- I don’t know what you mean,” he said.

“MK.” Tang turned and placed his hands on MK’s shoulders, looking him in the eye. “It’s okay. I know.”

“Know what?” MK was trembling now. He avoided Tang’s gaze, wide eyes darting around as if to look for a place to hide.

Tang gave him a reassuring squeeze and kind smile.

“I know you are the spider demon we saw.”

Last week had been before Tang had woken in the cycle. They had all rushed over to where MK had been fighting a demon alone only to find a spider demon they had never seen before wearing MK’s jacket and bandana while holding the Monkey King’s staff.

The group had, predictably, reacted with hostility. They threatened the demon and attacked him. They hadn’t been able to actually harm him before he got away, and MK had shown up perfectly fine the next day.

Physically at least.

When Tang had gone over the memories earlier this morning, it was obvious to him who the demon actually was. It certainly wasn’t the first time MK was something other than human.

He was also able to see the signs of emotional distress MK was showing over the past week. It was clear that their reaction to his true form was devastating to him.

Tang intended to fix that.

“I didn’t figure it out until this morning,” Tang said when it was clear MK had frozen in fear and wasn’t going to say anything. He pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry I didn’t see it right away. You are very important to me and I am ashamed to have made you feel like you were unwanted.”

“You- You don’t mind?” MK clung tightly to the scholar, as if afraid he’d vanish at any moment.

“Of course I don’t. What you are or what you look like isn’t important to me. What matters is who you are and I happen to care about the person you are quite a lot.”

Tang held the young man as he trembled in his embrace. He pulled away after a few minutes, wiping his eyes and giving Tang a watery smile.

“Thank you, Tang.”

“Any time, MK.”

“Do the others know?”

“I haven’t told them anything,” Tang said as they continued their walk. “This is your secret and you should be the one to reveal it when you’re ready.”

“But what if they react like last time?” MK kicked a rock out of his path and seemed to fold into himself. “What if they don’t want to be friends with something like me?”

“First off, that would be pretty hypocritical of them considering both Pigsy and Sandy are technically demons as well and Mei is descended from a dragon. That actually makes me the odd one out in our group as the only human.”

“Huh. Didn’t think of that,” MK said.

“Second, I know they all care about you, MK. I sincerely doubt they wouldn’t be able to look past appearances and see the person we all love.”

“Love?” MK stared wide eyed at Tang.

“I like to think of us as a family,” Tang said. “Even if we aren’t the typical kind, families love each other, and you are a part of that.”

“Family…” MK smiled sadly into the distance. “It would be nice to have more family.”

“There is no ‘would be’ about it.” Tang slung his arm around MK’s shoulders. “We are family and you’re stuck with us no matter what.”

MK gave him a wide grin, leaning into the sideways hug as they continued on their path.

“Aren’t you curious by what I meant by ‘more family’?”

“Of course I am,” Tang said. “But it’s not my place to pry. If you want to talk about that then I’d be more than willing to listen.”

“Oh, well okay,” MK said, perking up a bit. He began to enthusiastically speak about his other family, but never giving any names.

Tang was able to piece together who he was talking about rather easily.

The Spider Queen was his mother. It wasn’t much of a surprise for Tang as she had filled that role for MK in the past, but never quite so literally. From what MK was saying, she seemed to still be that lovingly supportive yet protective type that he had encountered in previous cycles.

The fact that she was a much more active villain in this cycle that MK constantly fought was not addressed.

Huntsman was ‘Uncle H’. He seemed to be the type of person that gave small children lessons on knife wielding just so they could protect themselves. MK had learned all his combat skills in his spider form from him.

Huntsman was certainly a focused and skilled combatant, but, as his many friendships with Sandy across time showed, he also knew how to enjoy the quieter moments in life.

That left Goliath as ‘Uncle G’. The large spider may seem like just a brute who relied on his strength, but Tang had witnessed his soft side a few times. MK spoke fondly of the lullabies Goliath had sang when he was still little as well as his delicious cooking.

Tang wondered how it compared to Pigsy’s creations and mused on how he could try and get a cook off set up.

MK did not speak of Syntax. That made sense as it was still somewhat early in the cycle and the scientist hadn’t really joined up with the spiders until after Demon Bull King’s second invasion.

Tang did his best to recall what he knew about the man. They had been friends and colleagues once in a cycle where they had been professors at the city university.

Syntax could be a bit standoffish to those he didn’t know. Once he warmed up to you though, he loved to go on long tangents about chemistry, biology, and computer engineering. He could also be surprisingly thoughtful, having dropped by several times with an extra cup of coffee on those late nights Tang had been stuck in his office grading papers.

Tang never knew why he started working for the Spider Queen. The scientist had always been a bit ambitious, so he supposed working on something as unique as a serum using bits of the Monkey King’s power was more than enough to sway him.

It was a shame the serum was then used against him and he seemed to lose all memories of his human life.

Tang forced himself back into the present as MK finished up an anecdote about Huntsman and Goliath nearly panicking after MK had fallen asleep in his hiding spot during a game of hide and seek.

“They all sound wonderful,” Tang said once MK had finished.

“Yeah, they are.” MK sighed wistfully. “I haven’t spoken to them in a while though.”

“Why not?”

“It’s… Complicated.”

Tang could certainly understand that considering how they fought each other on a nearly weekly basis.

“Well whatever the reason, it sounds like they care about you just as much as we do,” Tang said. “I’m sure they’d be more than happy to welcome you back into their lives.”

“I know that,” MK said with a huff. “I’m just not sure they'd approve of me being the Monkey King’s successor.”

“I see.”

Tang did see. He had been a part of demon families before and knew how leaving one’s blood to side with an enemy could tear relationships apart. He hoped that wouldn’t happen here with MK.

“In any case, I just hope you know that you have people that care about you and if you ever need help to just ask, okay?”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks Tang.” MK gave him another smile before frowning in thought. “I’m still not sure if I want to tell the others though.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” Tang said. “If you aren’t ready then you aren’t ready. I won’t say anything to anyone before you do.”

“Really?”

“I promise.”

The rest of the walk was spent discussing lighter subjects such as the latest Monkey Cop movie and which types of noodles were superior.

Tang decided to not bring up his curse this cycle. He knew he could get around the memory seal by simply stating he had a curse but not exactly its effects, but MK already had quite a lot to deal with this time. He didn’t want to add on to that stress with something that couldn’t be fixed.

He hoped that the Spider Clan would come to accept MK as he was, successor to the Monkey King and all. Not just for his sake either, as Tang could already feel four spots slowly opening up in his heart where he kept his love for his family.

It would be hard to bring them into the fold. Much harder than Macaque, the twins, or even the Demon Bull Family.

But Tang was patient.

He would use this cycle to get to know the spiders better. They were already MK’s family this time around.

Perhaps, in time, they could become his as well.

----------

Things went to Hell rather quickly.

New Years went the same as usual, but this time with the added horror of a mutated Macaque.

The shadow demon had been willingly experimented on by Syntax after he had failed to steal the Monkey King’s powers from MK. He now sported an extra set of arms and eyes, had lavender fur, and was in constant pain from the modifications. Wukong had offered him sanctuary, and Macaque had accepted.

MK hadn’t taken it well when he learned that it was his mother who had convinced Macaque to go through with the procedure.

Now something even worse was happening. This was a cycle that not only changed MK’s background, but someone else’s as well.

Lady Bone Demon was much more impulsive this cycle.

She had attacked them all directly this time, before even gathering up the artifacts she needed. They had all been overwhelmed pretty quickly and everyone except MK had been captured. She had then given him an ultimatum.

Give her the Monkey King’s power, or MK’s family would perish.

Lady Bone Demon then ‘graciously’ gave MK twenty four hours to think about it before teleporting away with her captives.

“Hey, where are you taking him?!”

Tang glanced up as he realized that he hadn’t been placed in the same cell as his family. Pigsy and Mei glared at the skeleton guards while Sandy tended to the unconscious Wukong and Macaque.

“Boss only wants five to a cell,” guard one said.

“Hope your friend here isn’t afraid of spiders,” guard two mocked.

Tang blinked at that as the others began to protest loudly. The guards simply laughed and led him away.

Well, he had wanted to get to know the Spider Clan better this cycle, hadn’t he?

After being marched down many winding corridors, Tang was thrown unceremoniously into a different cell.

Tang picked himself up and was confronted with the scowling faces of the Spider Queen and her entourage. They had certainly looked like they had seen better days.

After demanding why he was there, they had dismissed him and went back to trying to come up with a way to escape.

They had mused about eating him for a bit, Huntsman even going as far as to restrain him and brandishing a knife, before Tang had been forced to break his promise to MK. They were skeptical at first, but once Tang began telling the stories he had heard from MK, they believed him.

Spider Queen was emotionally distraught at the thought of harming her baby, but became more resolved than ever to beat Lady Bone Demon once she realized they were being used as hostages against her son.

Huntsman had been a bit more accepting, bragging about how the only reason MK had beaten them so often was from all the training he had given him. Goliath had just asked if he was eating well.

Syntax had been standing off to the side looking uncomfortable before Tang assured him that MK would be more than happy to get to know him.

The Spider Clan had invited Tang into their scheming quickly afterwards. None of their plans were very feasible, but Tang felt his connection to the four grow stronger.

Strange were the bonds you could make when in prison.

Before they could act on any of their plans, the twenty four hours were up and they were whisked away by the magic of their captor.

Tang opened his eyes to find the ten of them suspended in the air by blue ropes as Lady Bone floated in front of them. On the ground was a horrified looking MK.

“Now it is time you choose,” she said. She reached out and grabbed Tang and Spider Queen by their arms, pulling them forwards. “Your powers? Or your family?”

“Don’t listen to her, baby,” Spider Queen called out. “We’ll be fine! Just get out of here!”

“M-mom?!” MK’s mouth had dropped at being recognized.

“Sorry, MK. I broke my promise,” Tang said. “To be fair, your family was planning on eating me before I told them.”

“We said we were sorry about that-”

“ENOUGH!” Lady Bone Demon’s bellow shook the ground. “What is your decision?!”

“I- I can’t-” MK was trembling as he gripped his staff tightly.

“Wrong answer.”

Tang and Spider Queen screamed as they each had one of their arms shattered in her grip. Lady Bone Demon tossed them behind her, the blue ropes re-materializing to bind them as she summoned a large scythe.

“One last chance.” She pulled back the weapon, preparing to strike. “Give me the Monkey King’s power!”

MK roared in rage and seemed to explode into gold, purple, and green light.

Tang gasped in pain as he tried to stay awake. He stared in shock as the light expanded and formed into a giant figure.

Tang had seen the giant form that Wukong would occasionally become to take on much more powerful opponents. Macaque had access to this power as well and so would MK sometimes. It had no official name, but a scroll he had read many cycles ago had described it in a way that Tang couldn’t help but agree with.

Aspects of Destruction.

It resembled MK’s spider form, but with his human half looking more like a monkey’s instead. He had four arms now and each one held a copy of the Monkey King’s staff. The twelve eyes glowed with a burning green malice as they glared at Lady Bone Demon.

Faster than he could blink, Tang watched as MK swung one of his staffs and batted the white demon away from them. MK roared and leapt after her.

The pain from having his bones crushed soon became too much and Tang passed out.

----------

Tang woke up on Sandy’s airship.

He learned it was a few days later. MK hadn’t been able to defeat Lady Bone Demon, but had managed to buy them all the time to escape. They had also managed to pick up Red Son somewhere along the way.

Now, all twelve of them were out of the city looking for a way to defeat her.

The Spider Clan had seemed to integrate easily into their group over the next few weeks.

Spider Queen had already gotten to know Macaque over the course of the experiments, but once Wukong decided to go through the same procedure and gained two extra pairs of arms, she seemed to start flirting with the both of them.

Neither monkey seemed bothered by this and flirted right back.

Huntsman had decided Mei needed proper weapons training with her sword and whenever he wasn’t giving her pointers was drinking tea with Sandy.

Goliath shared cooking duty with Pigsy. The pair gave each other tips and techniques and their meals only became tastier from the collaboration.

Syntax had seemed a bit lost at first, but after completing one of the internet memes MK had quoted, became fast friends with him. He even got to have stimulating scientific discussions with Red Son.

Tang sighed in contentment at dinner one evening as he listened to the conversations around him.

He had never thought he would have longed for a large family, but this just felt right to him.

Tang hoped he would get to experience it more often in future cycles.

----------

The Spider Clan joins the ranks!

I think that leaves only two characters left out of Tang’s family. Considering who they are, I doubt that will happen any time soon.

This chapter takes place in @strange-lace's amazing Spider Monkie AU! It has some great angst and fluff as well as absolutely lovely spider-monkey designs for Macaque and Wukong! Go check it out!

Now technically this AU doesn't have a kaiju form for MK, but I wanted to introduce the concept to the story and it didn't fit anywhere in the coming chapters.

There’s going to be some plot in the next chapter so look forward to it! Until next time!

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gloomybabygirl · 3 years

Text

{in my head pt.2} Poe Dameron x smuggler!reader (soulmate au)

series masterlist

last part * next part

a/n: hi everyone! I can’t thank you enough for all the love on the first part of the series!! I was actually super nervous to post it and had my friends beta read it an unhealthy amount of times, so the feedback I’ve gotten has been wonderful :) p.s. the series tag list is open, send an ask or message if you want to be tagged for the rest!

warnings: alcohol consumption, soulmate trope, poe not clearing his throat, cliffhanger, I haven’t proofread this yet

timeline: I never established this so here we go! this is set between force awakens and last Jedi! so we’re still on D’Qar ladies, gents, and nb friends. however Miss Rey has not yet traveled to see Uncle Luke

word count: 4k oops

songs used: mr. loverman - Ricky Montgomery & the chain - Fleetwood Mac (kinda? I just listened there's no singing in this part lol)

summary: you and Poe spend some time bonding, you go on your first mission

You loved being apart of the Resistance. Waking up on D’Qar every morning was a blessing in your eyes. You had a purpose here. You’d never stayed on one planet for so long. Being on the run was your norm for the majority of your life. It was too dangerous for you to stay on one planet for too long (or stay in one region for that matter). The humid Jungle was the closest thing you’d had to a permanent home since you were a child.

That is, D’Qar was the closet thing to a physical home you’d had in years. There was one person that had no trouble making you feel at home. You could be stuck in carbonite on a bounty hunters ship and hearing your soulmate’s voice wold make you feel safe. His sweet song felt like coming home to the warm embrace of a lover.

But you hadn’t heard it in weeks. And it was starting to worry you. There had always been that nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you that he’d found someone else. But now that voice was trying to convince you of something much worse. You don’t know what you’d do if you’d spent all this time waiting for your person only to find out that something awful had happened to him.

You’d rather find out he already belonged to someone else.

You did your best to push the dark thoughts away, locking them in a box in the back of your mind. You couldn’t let yourself linger on the idea of him being dead or it would drive you insane.

There were three people that did a magnificent job of keeping your mind off of all the negative thoughts. On days when it felt like the weight of the war was resting solely on your shoulders, your friends were the ones who could help you bear it. They were always there for a joke or a long talk, if that's what you needed. Of course you were there for them as well. It was the first time you’d allowed yourself to have people in your life that could rely on you.

Days like today were your favorite. The weather was finally starting to cool down on the swampy planet, making the outside air somewhat tolerable. Everyone you loved was on base, safe and accounted for after a successful mission. Every time one of them left the base you felt as though you were holding your breath until they came back. But now, in Poe's small quarters with Rey and Finn, you felt the air return to your grateful lungs. Poe had devised a plan to hit up Maz’s on the way back from the mission and snagged a few bottles of jet juice, which you and the rest of the gang were all happily draining in his quarters. The alcohol was just beginning to burn in your stomach and your head was the slightest bit fuzzy. You took your time soaking in the scene of your found family spread out on the cold permacrete of Poe’s room.

Finn’s boisterous laugh rang out as his best friend finished telling every one about his adventure and a half to get the jet juice. Finn was especially fond of the tangy, red alcohol and was on drink number four down the hatch.

“Only you, Dameron,” Rey laughed to herself, gently taking the half full bottle out of Finn’s hands. His face of protest caused another round of laughter to erupt around the small room. He looked like a child that was denied a sweet by their parent.

Finn fell back against the permacrete, his head making an awful hollow sound as it hit the ground. He didn't seem to feel it and decided the floor was his new best friend for the night. Rey got up from her position against the wall and began to pick up the empty bottles scattered around the room.

“Looks like the jet juice served it’s purpose,” you commented, nudging Poe in the side with your elbow. Finn was now curling into the fetal position, trying to use a rug as a blanket.

You had your legs resting over Poe’s strong thighs. He patted the side of your leg where his hand had been resting, carefully moving your legs off of him. “I better help him back to his room. Someone has to make sure he doesn’t end up running naked through the tarmac trying to fly an X-Wing,” Poe said.

“I’d should head back to my quarters too,” you stood up to put your boots on, but Poe stopped you.

“Actually, do you think you could wait here till I get back? I have something I want to give you,” Poe winked at you, helping Rey tug their friend to his feet.

You couldn't help the way your heart sped up at his words. And you definitely didn't miss the eyebrow raise Rey shot you from the door.

“Yeah, I’ll just hang with BB-8 till you get back.”

A low voice bellowed out from the door, “OOOOH HE GOT YOU A PRESENT! How romantic,” Finn was apparently trying to wake up the entire base with the way his voice was booming off the walls. You were sure he hadn't meant for that to come out so loud. Or to come out at all.

Everyone went silent. You and Poe pointedly looked away from each other. His cheeks flamed red. You pretended to be preoccupied with the frayed laces on your Resistance issued boots.

Rey looked between the two of you and then broke the awkward silence with: “Aaanyway, let’s get you to bed Peanut!” She sounded too cheerful, trying to reduce the awkward energy that hung in the room. Being force sensitive you could only imagine how she was perceiving the situation. She and Poe hauled their inebriated friend out into the hall, desperately trying to shush him as he was now singing. You hoped his poor soulmate wasn't trying to sleep.

Finn clapped Poe on the back hard when they finally got into the drunk man’s room. Rey had helped Poe get Finn to his quarters but had dipped when Finn requested to be helped into his pajamas. They were close, but not ‘undressing one another’ close. Poe was itching to get back to his room and see you again, but he helped his buddy none the less.

Finn was finally laying in bed when Poe turned to leave.

“Are you okay?”

Poe hesitated, then turned on his heel. “Yeah?” he furrowed his brow at the unexpected question, “Why?”

“You haven’t been singing.” Finn was suddenly serious.

Poe’s face softened when he realized what Finn was so concerned about.

And he was right, Poe hadn’t been singing. It wasn't hard to miss, everyone on base noticed. The man who used to use every spare moment to sing to his soulmate had gone quiet. People actually missed hearing his voice all the time. Echoing through the halls of the base or out on the tarmac mixing with the whine of X-Wings taking off and landing. Finn wasn’t the only person worried about Black Leader. Leia had even mentioned something to her surrogate son a few days back. She enjoyed his singing more than anyone. She said it was a sparkle of hope during a dark time.

But the truth was, Poe didn't feel like singing. Guilt was the main thing keeping him from inflicting his voice on people whenever he could. How could he sing to his soulmate when he was fighting off feelings for someone else? He was doing everything in his power to stop you from being at the forefront of his mind all the time, but it was hard when your smile was his favorite thing to occupy his mind with.

“I miss my lover, man.”

He did. He missed his soulmate, whoever they were. He missed randomly hearing their soft voice humming through his mind. He missed the way he felt when he would sing to them. It was the closest thing he had to actually being with them, talking to them. He missed that he used to long for them. Lately that unconditional, blind love was being clouded by someone else. You.

“Tell me more stories about your Dad.” You were sitting cross-legged on the floor across from where BB-8 was nestled in his charging station. He had been beeping and booping at you for the last half and hour as you waited for his father to return.

The droid animatedly jumped into another anecdote about a recent mission he had gone on with his favorite person. He rattled around in his charging station, whirling his head around and beeping rapidly at you.

“He did what?!” you asked the little orange droid as the blast doors flew open, revealing the man in question. You turned to face Poe, mouth still agape at the droids admission to you.

“Who did what?” Poe asked confused, walking into the room. The droid then decided he was done charging and rolled over to Poe for scritches. Poe kneeled down and gave his favorite little guy some love, looking at you for an answer. He laughed at the way you had your arms crossed and were giving him the same look Leia gave him when she found out he’d gotten into a dog fight.

BB-8 beeped adamantly at him.

“Maker, Beebs, you told her about that?” He glanced nervously at you, only to find you were now trying to suppress a laugh. He was soothed by that damned smile that was burned into his mind.

“Unfortunately for you, I can understand BB’s binary perfectly. Now I know why you have to work on your ship so often,” you teased. “You’re not exactly tender with her.” You were trying to keep up your facade of being angry with him for being reckless. You were failing, your smirk giving you away.

Why did the fact that you understood BB-8 give him heart palpitations? His droid was absolutely going to get him into trouble with you one day. Apparently he can’t be expected to keep secrets.

Poe ignored your jab and walked over to sit behind you.

“Close your eyes,” he demanded softly.

“No, I don’t trust you. What kind of weird creature are you about to put on me?” you asked, twisting your torso to see him.

He cocked his head at you, “Would you just have a little faith in me? I have something special for you.” He laughed. You narrowed your eyes at him but closed you eyes and turned around anyway, your smile growing bigger every second.

“Besides, if I was going to put a creature on you, I’d do it on front of more people,” he taunted.

You laughed humorlessly at him, “Always the attention whore.” You heard him playfully shush you.

Poe took a deep breath, silently grateful that you couldn't see the way his hands were trembling. He reached up and removed the silver chain from around his neck for the first time in years. He then carefully slipped it over your head and watched from over your shoulder as his mothers ring came to rest at your sternum.

Deep breath. “Open.”

You immediately turned toward him, a look of shock on your face.

“Poe what is this?” you asked, alarmed by the ring resting delicately on your collar bone.

Poe's warm eyes held so much softness in them, you thought you would bust into tears right then. You turned to face him fully, confused as to why he just put this piece of jewelry around your neck.

“A good luck charm,” he whispered, admiring the way it looked on you.

“Is this the chain you wear every day?”

He nodded, still giving you that look that made you feel like the only person in the universe.

“Then what's this ring?” The bottom of the silver chain was always dipped below his collar, if the ring had always been there, you’d never seen it.

“It was my mother’s wedding ring. I wear it every day, take it on every mission, even sleep with it on. One day I’ll give it to my soulmate when I ask them to marry me, but for now it serves as a good luck charm for me,” He explained with a sad edge to his voice.

You had become close with Poe Dameron in the last few months. While a large portion of that time was spent with Finn and Rey, you also had spent a few late nights just the two of you. He had a knack for making you laugh and you would often stay in his quarters long after the others had retired. Deeper conversations were far and few between, the two of you preferring to spend your time together in a fit of hysterics. It was strange to see this man so serious. There was no twinkle of mischief in his eyes tonight.

You suddenly felt suffocated by him. His face was a mere few inches away from yours and you could feel his cool breath fanning across your face. His large hands rested on your knees, giving you a light squeeze and snapping you out of your haze.

“Poe are you sure you want to give this to me? I can't imagine how important it must be to you.” You reached up and stroked the smooth metal.

“It’s the most important thing in the word to me. But I want you to have it for your first mission. Since I’m not going with you to help you when you accidentally shoot yourself in the foot, I want you to have a piece of me there with you. And what better to give you than my good luck charm?”

You felt your tears spill over, streaking hot and wet down your face at the sincerity in his voice. You couldn't believe he wanted you to have this piece of him with you. He was becoming one of the most important people in your life, and him sharing something so special with you meant the world.

You were going down a slippery slope. If you weren't careful, you could fall in love with this man so easily.

“Poe, thank you. I don't know what to say,” you reached forward, pulling him into a tight hug. You nuzzled into his neck, letting the scent of leather and engine oil envelop you. He reached one arm securely around your waist and brought the other up to gently cup the back of your head. He took a deep breath in without meaning to, overwhelming his senses with you. He didn't want to pull away and had to hide his disappointment when you did. You kept your hands on his shoulders, squeezing slightly.

“I promise I’ll bring it back safely so you can give it to your soulmate one day.”

The next few days were a whirl wind of meetings, briefings, more meetings, caf breaks, and did you mention meetings? You spent more time in the command room with your team than you did anywhere else. You forgot life existed outside the confines of the dirt walls.

But you were ecstatic that Leia trusted you with such an important mission so soon after joining the Resistance. Plus you couldn’t be more grateful for the people that were joining you for this mission.

Finn was excellent for morale and a very smart man when he needed to be, unless of course he had jet juice in his system. Miss. Force-User Rey was always a good person to have on a mission. You brought a sense of craftiness to the crew, thanks to your smuggler skills. And Chewbacca was the only one (besides Poe) that Leia trusted to pilot the Falcon. Plus, he had a soft spot for smugglers, making you a new favorite of his.

The one person you wished you could add to this team was Poe. His pilot skills would have been a great help to Chewie, he was talented with a blaster, and he was easy on the eyes. But he had a more important solo mission with BB-8 that Leia needed him on. He didn't make himself completely scarce though. He often came in and out of the Command Center, having his own mission to plan with Admiral Akbar. He made a point of bringing you caf every time too, he knew exactly how you liked it.

You were terrified for your first mission as it was, but not having Poe there made everything ten times more dangerous in your eyes.

The ring he had let you borrow was becoming a source of comfort. Whenever you got anxious about the mission you found yourself fiddling with it. The smooth metal was slightly worn in one spot on the band and you ran your fingers over it repeatedly to calm yourself. Something you caught yourself doing unconsciously on a number of occasions.

The plan was simple. The Resistance had gotten word of an ex First Order official on the planet Ryloth, less than a parsec away from Tatooine. You and the rest of the crew were to go there and see what information the old Commander could offer you. Simple. But that didn’t stop you from needing to cover all your bases. Every single thing that could have possibly gone wrong had an escape plan to coincide. You were as prepared as you could be.

Your favorite part of the plan was your mode of transportation. As an ex-smuggler, you’d admired the Millennium Falcon and it's pilot for years. You’d heard every story surrounding Han Solo and his old piece of junk. Seeing it in person, let alone flying on it was something you’d never thought would be possible. But here you were, boarding the infamous ship.

Finn and Rey brushed passed you, Rey laughing at the look of awe on your face as you were frozen in the doorway, the ramp hitting you on the ass as it closed.

You took your time walking around the hull of the Falcon. Taking a moment just to think about the adventures she’d been on, the places she’d seen. You laughed fondly to yourself as you remembered your favorite story. You reached out and placed a hand tentatively on the wall of the old ship. “So this is the ship that made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs?” you called out to your friends.

“Twelve,” Finn and Rey chorused from the cockpit, mixed with the indignant cry of your favorite Wookie.

“Okay, twelve! Sorry, sorry,” you laughed and joined your friends in the cockpit.

Poe was exhilarated every time he was in the air. There was nothing in the world that gave him the same feeling. This man was more comfortable in a cockpit than he was on his own two feet. If it were up to him, he’d never come down.

But there was someone pulling him back to solid ground, like a magnet. Someone he couldn’t stop thinking about no matter how badly he wanted to exile them from his mind. He couldn't ignore your gravitational pull. He hadn't seen you in several days, you having returned from your mission two days prior. His mission was a success and he couldn't wait to tell you all about it. Leaving out the dangerous details that BB-8 was sure to fill you in on later.

He was nervous to hear about how your mission went. It was a simple enough task, but he couldn't help but worry about you. He hoped his good luck charm was as comforting to you as it had been to him these last few years. He felt naked without it, this having been the first mission he hadn't taken it on. He found himself reaching up to stroke his finger across the band of the ring he had worn in from playing with it when he got nervous, but then remembering he'd given it to you. The idea that you were wearing a piece of him around the base made his heart leap in his chest.

He was practically giddy when he leaped down from his X-Wing, already rushing to find you.

Cool it Dameron, you have a soulmate waiting for you.

Plus, he had to see the General before anything. Was he so clouded by his need to see you that he forgot he was fighting a war?

A twinge of guilt hit him hard in the stomach, forcing him to take a deep breath and remind himself of the person looking for him somewhere in the universe. He let his feet take him down the familiar dirt path to the Command Center. The soft, damp earth caused his flight boots to sink slightly with each step.

He flooded his mind with images of what his future could be like with the person the galaxy had chosen for him. A small home on Yavin IV. Children he could teach how to fly the same way his mother taught him. A safe, quiet life with no threat of the First Order. No threats at all. He stored these images in the back of his mind for when he needed a glimmer of hope during the war. But lately he was using these daydreams as distractions from you.

He stepped into he large room where Leia was addressing General Akbar and a few other pilots that had also just returned from a mission.

When she caught sight of Poe her forehead created in confusion and she abruptly dismissed the debrief she was in the middle of with a wave of her hand. As they shuffled out of the room, several of them shot Poe sympathetic looks.

What the hell was going on?

“Commander Dameron, what are you doing here?” The General asked, walking over to him.

He hesitated, unsure as to why she was asking a question with an obvious answer, “I just landed from my mission, General. I’m here to debrief.”

Leia dropped the General persona and gently caressed the pilots face, running her thumb over the stubble she resented.

She had always been like a second mother to Poe, and he like a second son to her. Their relationship was something special and unique. Something she thanked the Force every day for. However, her unexpected shift from serious Resistance leader to caring mother made Poe nervous.

“I thought Finn or Rey would have been waiting on the tarmac to tell you.”

Now he was starting to panic. What was he missing? What happened?

“Come with me,” Leia softly implored, grabbing his calloused hand and yanking him out of the room. She tried to flood him with calm though the force connection she made with him, but his anxiety was too overbearing.

She continued explaining as she pulled him through the base, “The mission went south. There was no ex Order Commander on Ryloth. It was a set up. When they landed, there was a fleet of ‘Troopers waiting for them, ready to capture them and bring them back to the Finalizer for my son to interrogate.” She tried to keep her voice even for Poe's sake.

Poe was really panicking now, starting to pick up his speed. He squeezed Leia’s hand, begging her to continue.

“They got out relatively unscathed. Chewie stayed on the Falcon so they were able to get away quickly. But Poe,” she stopped in her tracks, jerking Poe back to a halt. She looked him in the eyes, worried for what his reaction to her news would be.

“Poe, the new recruit was badly hurt. They were shot in the side with a blaster and lost a lot of blood. They’ve been in the medbey unconscious for two days, but they’ll be okay,” she finished.

Poe wordlessly turned and broke out into a run towards the medbay. Leia watched him go, knowing he needed to see you more than anything in that moment. She had felt a connection between you and Poe. She knew he wanted to wait for his soulmate, but she also knew that finding them was not likely. Part of her wished he would give in and let himself fall in love with you. Soulmate or not, she wanted him to be happy.

#poe x reader #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fic #poe dameron one shot #poe dameron x reader #star wars imagine #in my head

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songbirdsingingthings · 4 years

Text

Lovely Night - Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, THEY BELONG TO KOHEI HORIKOSHI

This oneshot was inspired by the song Lovely Night from the musical La La Land. It’s such a cute and funny song that I thought it would work perfectly for Bakugou and a reader who are not super fond of each other, but figure out they have feelings for each other. I put a lot of hard work into this oneshot and I’m super happy and proud with how it came out. I hope you all enjoy! And, if you would like, feel free to open up youtube and listen to the actual song while reading, or look up the lyrics to see where I used and or changed some of them to fit within the story! So, without further ado, ENJOY!!!

WARNINGS: Realistic Fluff, Some Swearing

Word Count: 2608

It was no secret to the rest of Class 1-A. Y/N L/N and Katsuki Bakugou just could not stand each other. Y/N hated how loud and abrasive he was, and might she add that he was like that for absolutely no reason. She hated how much he would boast about his quirk - I mean seriously, it was like he was six years old and he was talking about the expensive action figure he got for his birthday! But, most of all, she hated how attractive he had to be. There was no denying that he was strikingly handsome and had a very well toned body, but something about the way that he actually took the time to make himself presentable struck a chord within Y/N. Of course, Bakugou’s parents were fashion designers, so maybe he was just conditioned from a young age to look presentable.

Bakugou hated how structured and uptight Y/N was. He genuinely thought the girl had a stick up her ass for the entirety of her life. To him, she was like a drill sergeant, dictating who should go where in a team takedown. Granted, she was right almost all of the time, but that didn’t stop her from being annoying about it. Although, however much he hated her those previous reasons, he hated her the most for how undeniably gorgeous she was. She, unlike some of the other girls in class, wore little to no make up during the day - which he himself thought was a smart decision, who knew when a villain could attack and cause sweat to make your mascara run? Her Y/H/L Y/H/C hair was always in a style that he found incredibly flattering on her and her Y/E/C eyes were just striking.

Their conflicted, no matter how strictly negative they tell themselves they are, feelings for each other caused quite a few ruptures in group activities. Whether it was going after each other in laser tag - even though they were on the same team -, not cooperating on group projects for school, or making a huge mess in the dorm kitchen trying to prove to the other that they are the superior chef, they were at each other's throats. The latter wasn’t so bad for the class, they actually made some really delicious food, but Aizawa was pretty mad about the flour on the carpet and the dried batter sticking to the walls and stovetops.

Coincidentally, the entirety of class 1-A was at a group dinner this evening, celebrating their completion of their final written exams. Jokes and anecdotes were exchanged as waiters brought the class delicious food. Y/N’s eyes lit up as a woman brought over a platter of Y/F/F. Eagerly, she piled 2 or 3 servings onto her plate.

“Oi, L/N, stop loading up on the Y/F/F, you’re not the only person here! Besides, you’re gonna look like a stuffed turkey by the end of the night!” Y/N had to admit, the last part of his insult did sting a bit, but she couldn’t give him an inch.

“Oh, bite me Bakugou. Besides, isn’t it past your bedtime?” Y/N said, smirking at him with a sassy look in her eyes while pointing to an analog clock that read 9:30 p.m. . Scowling, Bakugou just turned his back towards her and started chatting with Kirishima instead.

“Nice one, Y/N.” One of Y/N’s best friends, Jirou, said as she gave her a high five. Feeling very accomplished, she smiled.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t Y/N’s best idea to have that much food to eat. Y/N’s stomach cramped pretty badly - so badly that she had to thank whatever godly force was looking down on her that made her wear a pretty fit and flare dress to dinner. If she were wearing regular pants, that material would not feel great against her somewhat bloating stomach. Excusing herself to the bathroom, she relieved herself and thankfully felt much better afterwards. Y/N straightened out her pretty yellow dress and ran a hand through her hair, making sure to comb out any knots. As she made her way back to the table, only a couple people remained. Everyone must’ve gone back to the dorms already, Y/N thought. Of course, she thought as she found the one person who walked back into the restaurant. Everyone had left except for Bakugou.

“Where the hell did everyone else go?” He asked, clearly pissed. Rolling her eyes, Y/N crossed her arms.

“If I had known everyone was leaving I would’ve gone with them Sherlock. I was in the bathroom so I didn’t see them. Where were you?” Y/N asked.

“I was outside taking a call. Dammit!” He cursed, grabbing the jacket on the back of his chair and pulled his arms through it. Sighing, Y/N took a look at the clock. It was 12:30 a.m. . You have got to be kidding me, she thought. “Well come on. Let’s get going before it gets any later.” He said bluntly, walking slowly out of the big glass doors.

“What do you mean “let’s”? Y/N asked, kind of shocked that he implied that the two of them would be walking back together. Now it was Bakugou’s turn to roll his eyes.

“I’m not going to let a girl walk alone at this time at night, no matter how much I might hate her guts. Who knows what creeps are out there. Now, let’s go.” He says a bit more sternly this time. Y/N quickly grabbed her little white purse from the back of her seat, swung it around her shoulder, and walked out after him. The only unfortunate thing about going to the restaurant that the class decided to go to was that there wasn’t a cab in sight. The class decided to take the bus which by now had left hours ago. That meant that Y/N had to trek back to UA in heels that pinched her toes. Trying not to make a sound, she clenched her jaw and her fists and forced herself to keep walking on the hard concrete. However, about twenty minutes into their walk, Y/N accidentally let a little squeak of pain slip out of her mouth. Bakugou, who was a little bit in front of her, turned around to get a look at Y/N.

“What the hell was that?” He said, stifling a laugh that wanted to make itself known. To him, this was kind of hilarious. Never had he heard Y/N willingly show any sign of weakness, and here she was literally squeaking in pain because of her damn shoes.

“Nothing, come on let’s keep walking.” Giving Y/N an unbelieving look, he led her over to a bench that overlooked much of the city. He had to admit, it was a pretty spectacular view. It would have almost been romantic - the stars were shining down on the sparkling city, lights that worked so well together. However, it was absolutely not romantic, because he was here with Y/N, and it wasn’t some other girl and guy.

Y/N was sat down, slowly taking off her heels to reveal several nasty blisters. She hissed as the cool, almost chilly, night air met her marred skin.

“Why do you girls wear shoes like that if they only make your feet hurt like hell.” Bakugou said. Y/N sighed as she began to take off her other heel, this time on her right foot.

“Because,” she said as she gritted her teeth, “I think they make my legs look pretty freaking hot.” Finally, she pulled the second one off and set it next to its partner. “Also, I didn’t think that I would be walking a lot tonight.” Bakugou did have to admit - the shoes really did accentuate her legs in a very attractive manner. He also noticed, don’t ask him why, that she had taken the time to shave her legs.

“Well it’s just the class, why did you feel the need to get all done up?” Bakugou’s question struck a nerve within Y/N. She felt her face heat up. Why did she feel the need to get all done up? She would have looked perfectly acceptable in a nice shirt and skirt, maybe even a cute little romper with sandals, but instead she went for a pretty dress and white heels. Then, it dawned on her. Oh my God, I did this all for Bakugou, she thought . Underneath all the layers of competition, disdain for his habits that weren’t as annoying now, and arrogance, Y/N liked him. She found herself noticing more of his other positive habits. He made sure to walk her back home, even if she wasn’t his favorite person, made sure to make her take a break when something was hurting her, and now, asking questions that weren’t aimed to make her look like a fool.

“I-I uh…” Y/N didn’t really know how to answer Bakugou’s question. What do you say to a boy that you’ve basically hated for an entire year that you now have a crush on?

Woah, Bakugou thought, did Y/N actually just stutter? And why was it kind of… cute? Bakugou thought to himself. Nah, I don’t feel like that. It’s just really late at night and I’m sitting next to a pretty girl on a bench that basically overlooks the stars. I do NOT think that way.

“Pretty view huh,” Y/N murmured, a small smile donning her face as she surveyed the city that lay beneath them.

“Yeah, I guess so. Kind of sucks that it’s you and I here instead of other people that could actually enjoy it together.” Bakugou says, looking away from the girl. Scoffing, Y/N gives him an incredulous look. How could I ever think I have feelings for this guy? She thought, I mean, that was just him being a straight up asshole!

“You and I would never work,” Bakugou says, out of the blue, “I mean you’re not even my type.” Y/N could almost feel flames shooting out of her head.

“Oh yeah?” She scoffs, glaring at the boy.

“Yeah. What a waste of a freaking night.”

Grabbing her heels, Y/N forces them back on, stand sup, and walks right up in front of him.

“Let’s make something clear, Katsuki Bakugou,” Y/N says, giving Bakugou a look that he believes could only be rivaled by himself, “I make the calls around here. But, you are right, I would never fall for you.” Bakugou doesn’t know why, but a tiny part of his heart aches when she says that. “And even though you look pretty good in that... polyester suit of yours,” Y/N begins to say.

“It’s. Wool.” Bakugou snaps back, standing up so that he was now taller than her, “this in no way appeals to me. Maybe it would interest a girl who is not currently having her feet be cut up by her heels, or a girl who actually believes that this could’ve been a spark to romance.” Y/N says, her face now inches away from the blonde’s. “You were right. What a waste of a lovely freaking night.”

With their noses almost touching, Bakugou just reacts on mere instinct. He almost couldn’t stand to be this close to Y/N without touching her.. The perfume that Y/N wore was intoxicating to him, invading his senses and telling him just do it! Kiss her! It’ll make everything better! And, with no one there stopping him, he gave in. He roughly grabbed her check with his right hand and the back of her neck with his left, and crashed his lips into hers. Y/N’s eyes widened so much, she thought that they were going to pop right out of her head. But, something about kissing Bakugou just felt so damn right. Y/N closed her eyes and kissed him back. Her arms somehow found themselves wrapped around his neck and made their way into his soft hair, pulling at the blonde locks as he worked his tongue into her mouth. It was like fireworks were going off at the same time as she was riding a rollercoaster. It was exciting, it was energizing, and it was warm. Bakugou’s arms now made their way and wrapped themselves around Y/N’s waist, pushing her as close as possible to his chest. Y/N’s knees wobbled at this action which made Bakugou smile into their kiss-turned-make out session. Y/N smiled as well. Finally, it got to the point where the two of them had to separate and take a deep breath. Their foreheads were leaning against each other and their arms were still firmly wrapped around each other.

“I think I like you.” Y/N whispered, making Bakugou smirk.

“You think?” He murmured back, rubbing his thumb against her waist.

“Okay, I’m pretty sure.” Y/N said, giggling. Finally, Bakugou pulled away just enough so that he could make full eye contact with the Y/H/C haired girl in his arms.

“I’m pretty sure I like you too. But don’t think I’m letting up on anything. Your ass is going to be kicked in the next cooking competition.” He says arrogantly, however this time Y/N found his arrogance somewhat cute. She rolls her eyes and gave him a smile.

“Yeah, okay. Sure. Keep telling yourself that.” Y/N stepped back from him, grabbed her little purse that she dropped due to all the activity, and began walking back in the direction of UA. Bakugou jogged up to Y/N and stopped her in her tracks. Giving him a smirk, she says, “What Bakugou, couldn’t get enough?”

“First off, it’s Katsuki to you now,” he says matter-of-factly, making her cheeks dance with red, “and you’re not walking back on those deathtraps of yours.” He leans down and gently slips her heels off and gives them to Y/N to hold. “Now c’mon, let’s go home.” He says, kind of sweetly this time. He motions for Y/N to let him give her a piggy-back ride which she gladly accepts. With her fingers hooked in her heels, Y/N lets her head lay against Bakugou’s, no, Katsuki’s, broad shoulder. She presses a gentle kiss to his neck which makes him stop in his tracks.

“L/N, if you keep on doing that sappy shit, we’re not gonna be able to make it home tonight.” He says bluntly. Y/N couldn’t see his face from the angle she was faced, but she could just tell that he was blushing.

“First off, it’s Y/N to you now,” she says, mimicking his previous statement which makes him chuckle a bit, “and I just couldn’t help it. But, carry on walking, I seem to remember a sparring match tomorrow that I need to be well rested for.” Katsuki rolls his eyes and continues walking. The two make small talk for the rest of the trip home about Y/N’s home life - not Katsuki’s, he’s not super ready for that yet, - and life in general.

“I was wrong before.” Katsuki says, making Y/N’s giddy face morph into a confused one.

“Wrong about what? There were several exchanges that we have had in the past hour.” She says, concerned that he was talking about when he revealed his feelings for her.

“It’s not a waste of a night.” He says sweetly, making Y/N grin from an ear to ear. “It’s the perfect way to spend a lovely night.”

#bakugou #bakugou fluff #bakugou x reader #katuski #bakugou katsuki #bnha katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsukibakugou #katsuki x you #katsuki x y/n #mha #mha imagines #mha x y/n #mha x reader #katsuki x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha x y/n #bnha x reader

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redeadepression · 3 years

Text

Seven Minutes | John Marston x (My OC) Karmen Davis Cassady

I was inspired by reading @inkrabbit’s Seven Minutes in Heaven! Go and read it if you haven’t already! Read it last night and spent all night and today thinking about what it would be like to be forced to play SMIH with your bestie John.

I barely edited this. Enjoy!

Characters: John Marston, Karmen Davis (Cassady) | Modern AU Setting Tags: Fluff, Getting together, friends to lovers, kissing, making out, Modern AU Word Count: 2767

Summery: Modern AU John Marston gets roped into playing Seven Minutes in Heaven with his friends at a party.

~~~~~~~~

John kept himself quiet with a swig of his drink as his friend’s raved excitedly about which game they wanted to play next. They’d just finished a few rounds of Never Have I Ever and John was busy feeling a little uncomfortable at how sober he still was compared to some of the other party guests.

He’d never really realised how little he’d experienced in his life until everyone had started to use the game as a platform for bragging. Shouting out their wildest stories before proudly taking a drink and watching as the others in the room were forced to refrain.

But despite the crazy anecdotes there were also some pretty tame claims made.

John had felt sheepish every time he didn’t drink. The other men furrowing their brows in his direction until he’d started to drink anyway to keep them off his scent. Pretending to understand half of the things that everyone but him had seemed to experience and hoping to hell no one called him out and asked about it.

He never was good at lying on the spot.

“We could play seven minutes in heaven.” Sean suggested loudly. “Spin the bottle style.” He added, grabbing the nearest empty bottle of alcohol and spinning it around the tabletop to add flare to his suggestion.

A collective groan rolled out around the room as he argued that it would be harmless fun.

“We’re nearly thirty.” Karmen argued back, stopping the bottle in it’s place right before it fell from the counter.

“Some of us are over thirty.” John pointed out with a smirk directed towards Arthur.

The older man sneered at the comment. Thinking for a moment before placing his drink down on the edge of the counter and taking the empty whiskey bottle out of Karmen’s hand.

“You know what?” He asked lightly as he turned to John. “Let’s play seven minutes in heaven. Could do you some good you goddamn loser.” He snipped, clapping John on the shoulder on his way passed.

John rolled his eyes, watching as the other party guests followed Arthur without question into the living room. He settled onto the floor and put the bottle down in front of him. Gesturing for the rest of them to sit in a circle around the container.

They obliged without argument and John wondered briefly if perhaps more of them had actually wanted to play than they’d let on. The squabbling at stopped quickly at Arthur’s suggestion and suddenly no one was objecting anymore.

“Fine.” John said tersely as he was pulled on the arm by one of the ladies. “But I ain’t kissin’ you.” He spat at Arthur as he settled himself next to the older man.

“New rule!” Sean shouted excitedly as he sat across from John. “You must go into the bedroom with whomever your bottle lands on. No redos unless your spin will result in incest!” He teased, grinning at his own joke at the others chuckled under their breath.

“So… What do we do in the bedroom?” Karmen asked as she settled herself beside Sean. She seemed less than impressed to be playing. It seemed out of character for her. She was usually up for anything.

Sean looked to her incredulously. Shaking his head as he reached for the bottle.

“Whatever ye’ want.” He answered simply, spinning the whiskey with vigour. Silence descended on the group as they waited to see who Sean would be leaving the circle with.

The bottle landed on Karen and he raised his brows at her seductively.

“What if what we want is nothing?” She asked flatly, clearly not amused.

Sean barked out a laugh, rising to his feet and holding out his hand for her to take.

“Aye, that ain’t nice.” He scolded, as she took his hand. “New rule.” He cried suddenly, turning to address the group as Karen wrapped a hand around his waist with a sly grin. “Consent must be given and honoured in the bedroom.”

“Also, literally everywhere else.” Charles added as Sean and Karen disappeared into the nearest room. The click of the lock echoed around the living room as the other party guests sat awkwardly until one of them dared to speak.

“So…” John began, making the others chuckle. “We’re just supposed to sit here and wait while they have sex?” He asked, looking around for an answer as everyone began to return to the conversations they had been having before Sean had rudely interrupted them with his suggestion.

He looked to Karmen, catching her eye from across the circle and she shrugged in reply. Turning to Sadie as she was asked a question about her job.

As it turned out seven minutes was a painfully long time. Especially when no one was timing it. It had taken a good half an hour for the couple to emerge by which point the other guests had moved away from the whiskey bottle and gone back to mingling with one another.

The game forgotten as Javier had started to play his guitar and Mary-Beth had started a sing-along.

“Aye, aye!” Sean shouted as they re-entered the room. “What’s goin’ on here? I thought we were playin’ a game!” He yelled as the guests turned to him in surprise. Having forgotten all about them in the interim.

“Oh right.” Arthur laughed. “Forgot I was tryin’ to get little Johnny here to loosen up.” He teased, gesturing with his head back towards the living room. The other party-goers followed him as they did before. Settling back down into their places. Murmurs of annoyance flittering around the circle until Arthur passed the bottle to Karmen.

She sighed, taking it and placing it with a clink on the floor in front of her. The group fell silent once more as they waited for her to spin it.

“For the love of God someone time it this time.” Sean interjected as she placed her hand on the glass. “I think I only have seven minutes in me.” He chuckled wryly as Karmen gripped the bottle and flung it across the floor.

John watched as the bottle skidded across the hardwood and came to a stop directly in front of him. He kept his eyes trained on it for a long second as a collective gasp bounced around the circle.

There was no mistaking the fact that the neck of the bottle pointed to him. No leeway on either side for him to shirk the responsibility onto another.

He smiled weakly, looking up and meeting her eyes across the circle. She stared back at him with an expression he couldn’t discern. A wily smile creeping onto her own face as she raised her brows at him in question.

“Well go on!” Sean shouted, throwing his arm out as he gestured for them to leave the group. They hesitated, both of them stuck in place as John chewed on his lip and shook his head lightly.

“You can spin again.” He chuckled awkwardly, reaching for the bottle and intending to pass it back to her as Arthur slapped his hand away lightly.

“Rules are rules John.” He chided, gesturing with his head for the two of them to leave.

John looked to Karmen apologetically. She shrugged once more, pushing herself to her feet and holding out her hand for him to take.

He obliged, taking hold and letting her hoist him to his own feet as they looked one another over uneasily.

“Remember, you’ve only got seven minutes.” Karen called to them in a sing-song voice, holding up her phone and showing everyone the app as Karmen pulled John by the hand away from the others.

“Ah, Johnny won’t need that long.” Arthur teased, earning himself a rude finger from John as he rolled his eyes again. Letting himself be led by his other hand into the nearest bedroom.

He walked inside behind Karmen, closing the door and locking it quickly before turning to her and sighing.

“We can just preten-.” He began, a gasp leaving him as he was cut off abruptly by her lips on his. He was shocked into inaction, standing awkwardly as she kissed him with passion.

She pulled away, furrowing her brows as he looked to her in complete shock.

“You wanna’ waste seven whole minutes?” She asked sarcastically, a quirk in her lips as he opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out.

“I…” He began, unable to finish the sentence as she pulled away from him completely.

“Do you not consent?” She asked, intending the question as a joke but her face falling seriously as he continued to stare at her in shock. “Uh, okay yeah.” She said after a moment. “We can just pretend.” She conceded, an awkward chuckle leaving her as he watched a flush appear on her cheeks.

“No, no.” John said quickly, coming to his senses and placing his hands on her hips. He pulled her towards him, crashing his lips against her as he wrapped her arms around his neck.

She kissed back hungrily, tongues mingling with one another they both squirmed under their growing arousal.

John had never even let the thought cross his mind that she might be attracted to him. They’d been friends for over twenty years and she’d never once shown a romantic interest in him.

He found her attractive, but he wasn’t about to go lusting after her like a dumb kid when he found their adult friendship so fulfilling in and of itself.

He was content with what they had.

He’d never wanted anything more from her. She was his rock. The one constant throughout his life that never changed. He’d never fathomed that they could be more than friends. The thought was exciting and utterly terrifying at the same time.

John pulled himself away quickly, pulling a moan from her as they parted. Her lust filled eyes looking him over in question as he swallowed thickly.

“Are… Are you?” He asked croakily, unable to get the words out as her eyes glinted at him through a coy smile.

“Are you?” She asked, understanding completely the hesitation in him. She had spent a lot of time thinking about this eventuality. Time that he had spent married to another. Time that he hadn’t had to recover after she’d broken his heart.

She was sure. She didn’t need to be asked. But she supposed perhaps he did. She had considered the way he felt about moving forwards from friendship to something more but she was quietly hoping that they didn’t need to speak about it. That he would just reciprocate physically and alleviate all need to have the talk she dreaded.

The one that might ruin this. The one that would turn serious too quickly for her liking and take away all possibility of just letting it happen naturally.

The one that made things awkward if they didn’t immediately fuck afterwards.

“I…” He stuttered again. “I don’t… think…” He stammered, unable to answer as she sighed softly. Pulling away from him completely and smiling weakly at the uncertainty on his face.

“It’s alright.” She assured, running a hand down his arm for lack of anything else to say.

“Wait.” John said quickly, stepping back into her personal space and locking eyes with hers as he tried again to get his thought out. “I want this.” He said simply. “More than… anything.” He gulped, inhaling shakily as she looked to him in surprise. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more.” He said openly, emotion in his throat as he finally fished his thought from earlier. “But not… Like this.” He said finally, averting his eyes as she cocked her head in question.

“Then how?” She asked quietly, her hands coming to rest on his waist as he placed his on her hips, squeezing tightly. Swallowing against the arousal threatening to overtake him at the feel of her under his hands.

He had never realised just how much he had wanted to touch her like that.

They’d hugged a thousand times over the years but he’d never touched her body in this context. He’d picked her up before but he’d never felt the curve of her hips under his hands in quite the same way. Never gave himself permission to.

He’d always thought she was gorgeous but he’d never let himself really look at her and understand why. The colour of her eyes and the freckles on her cheeks were nice and platonic reasons to look at her and think she was beautiful. But the way her thighs hugged the jeans she was wearing, her cleavage peaking through her cropped tank top and the way her tongue darted out to lick at her ruby lips; were all things he’d not have noticed about her in any other context.

“Dinner?” He asked softly, after taking a moment to really see her. The word croaky in his throat as he tried to act nonchalant. His erection straining against his fly as he tried not to think about the fact that this was new territory for them.

“Dinner?” Karmen scoffed, a giggle leaving her lips as she looked up at him with a mix of amusement and empathy. “We have dinner all the time.” She snickered, taking another step closer and pressing herself against him. Gasping at the feel of him pressed against her belly as he subconsciously tried to hunch away from her.

“Uh…” John faltered, trying desperately to ignore the feel of her against his member as he attempted to act the gentleman. “What do the kids call it?” He rasped, lightheaded as she pressed herself closer, arms moving up to wrap around his neck once more. “Netflix… something…” He mumbled. Closing his eyes as she pressed her lips against his and kissed him softer than before.

He huffed into the kiss, wrapped his own arms around the small of her back and dragging her flush against him before repositioning his hands on her waist. Hips grinding subtly against her as he kissed her back fervently.

“Netflix and chill.” Karmen answered, smiling against his mouth as he hummed in agreement.

“That?” He asked, softly, only breaking the kiss for long enough to murmur his word.

“I guess.” She sighed, feigning disappointment as her hands curled in his hair. Heartbeat in her ears as she felt his hands tighten on her sides.

His hard length pressed insistently against her as she moved her mouth against his greedily. Lapping up every quick second of privacy as they moved together as one for the first time in their lives.

“Two minutes!” Someone called impatiently from outside the door, making the them both jump.

They pulled apart out of instinct, staring at one another for a long minute before both bursting into fits of laughter. They were a sight to behold. Shocked, aroused and dishevelled.

John felt himself doubling over at the stunned expression on Karmen’s face. The redness of her cheeks as she tried and failed to look at him seriously.

Karmen cackling at the deer in headlights expression on his flushed face as he tried to discreetly adjust his erection so it wouldn’t be viable to the rest of their group.

She moved towards him once more, hands holding him still before she brought them to his head. Raking her fingers through his tussled hair as she tried to straighten it before licking at her thumb and wiping at the lipstick on his swollen mouth.

John grinned against her thumb. Unrolling one of his sleeves, placing it to her mouth and trying to even up the colour on her lips and wipe it away from where it wasn’t supposed to be.

They both giggled like idiots, suddenly stopping their ministrations after a moment. Hands falling to their sides at the same time as they accepted unanimously that it was a fruitless endeavour and Karmen vowed silently never to buy Matte Super Stay lipstick ever again.

Firm knocking on the door next to them signalling that it was time to leave and making them both chuckle nervously as John held out his hand for her to take this time.

He unlocked the door, stepping out into the room and shrinking under the hoots and hollers from their friends as they both slunk back into their places in the circle. Letting go of their joined hands reluctantly to sit across from one another once more.

Knowing smirks and nudging elbows followed them both well into the night as they gazed at one another over the whiskey bottle. Excited for what was to come.

#john marston #karmen cassady #karmen davis #john marston x karmen cassady #john marston/karmen cassady #john marston x karmen davis #john marston/karmen davis #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #fanfic #fan fiction

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mydemimonde · 4 years

Text

‘muse’ ch. 5 | matt (bbtl)

CHAPTER 5

“Tell him I’ll be there in a sec” her mother nodded and closed the door. Mia fixed her hair and looked at Nell, who was smirking.

“Don’t” Mia gave her a death glare and her sister gasped.

“I didn’t say anything!”

Mia headed downstairs and saw Matt leaning on the door frame. “Hey Matt” Mia’s heart jumped when he saw him smile widely at her. “What are you doing here?”

“I was worried. You left the party early last night, what happened?” he put his hands in his jeans’ pockets.

Hmm let’s see, Lyla is a complete asshole who treated my best friend like shit, your girlfriend behaved like an idiot with my sister, and then I walked into both of you making out almost naked that it broke my heart into million pieces…

“I was a little tired, that’s all” what a good liar. “My feet were hurting”

“Awww, poor baby” he seemed genuinely concerned. “Anyway, I hope you can walk with me to certain place…” he had a mischievous smile.

“Uhm, where?”

“Come with me, let’s go” he grabbed her hand and dragged her out.

“Wait, wait, where are we going?” Mia was confused.

“Patience, you’ll see” he then stopped in front of her, bending his knees just a little. “Hop on!”

“Are you going to piggyback me all the way to wherever you wanna take me? I don’t think you’ll make it…”

“C’mon, like the old times!” she gave in and hopped on his back. He placed his hands on the back of her knees, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. The smell of cologne and shampoo invaded her nostrils, she was enjoying the proximity.

He started walking, gripping her knees tight to prevent her from falling on her back. “Did you like the party?”

She nodded. “Hmm, yes. I thought it was gonna be a small party…”

“Oh, it was”, she chuckled “Emma planned to invite every lad from here, but I told her no. My house’s not enormous”

“Matt, there were like 80 o 100 people”

He chuckled. “What, you counted?”

“I did actually, I stopped counting at 83 because I got tired” she joked and he laughed. Her stomach fluttered at the sound of him laughing.

After some minutes of walking, they arrived at destiny. She looked up at the big bright sign in front of her.

“What are we doing here?”

“Let’s go inside, c’mon!” she jumped and got on her feet, he took her hand and both entered the place. It was a jewelry store, one of the most expensive in Luton. She looked around in awe, rings, necklaces and bracelets filled the showcases.

Matt took her hand again and pointed at the necklaces. “Which one is prettier?” He’s… buying me a necklace? Her cheeks tinted a shade of pink at the thought.

“Uhm… what? I…” she examined the display cabinet. All of them were beautiful, the light made them sparkle. She pointed at the gold chain with a moon charm. “This one’s pretty”

He inspected it, narrowing his eyes. He smirked. “Yeah, this one’s nice” he turned to her. “Thank you for helping me, Emma’s birthday is in two days and I needed someone to help me pick the perfect gift for her”

WHAT?! The smile on her face vanished. “Oh… it’s for Emma…” it sounded like a whisper.

He nodded, then looked around for the cashier. A short haired woman saw them and approached. “Welcome, how can I help you?”

Mia felt a strong punch on her stomach. The cashier and Matt were having a conversation, one Mia couldn’t hear well because she was too focused on controlling her emotions. She wanted to punch something. Or someone. Matt specifically.

“Thank you very much” Matt payed for the necklace and thanked the cashier. On the way home, Mia heard Matt’s stories in Ibiza. How he met Emma, their first date, everything. She just smiled, pretending to be happy, and muttered a few “oh wow” or “that’s nice”.

“Matt, sorry but I have to go home now. Bye” she couldn’t listen to any more stories about the lovebirds. She ran to her house and left Matt with a dumfounded look.

Once inside her room, she grabbed her pillow, buried her face in it, and screamed with fury.

- - - - - - -

Mia’s eyes were fixed on her bowl of cereals, her dad was telling some anecdote of him and his colleagues at work, but she wasn’t paying attention. She was thinking about the necklace and how stupid she was for believing Matt would actually care enough for her to buy her a gift. An expensive one. Maybe it was time to forget about him, focus on school and getting enough high marks to get into a good college. She wouldn’t let a boy ruin her plans.

After breakfast Mia decided to go for a walk, alone. It would be good to clear her mind and relax. She always took long walks when she was feeling sad, angry or overwhelmed.

As soon as she stepped outside, she saw Matt approaching. Fuck, no. She started to walk a little faster.

“Mia, wait!” she stopped in her tracks and turned around. “Are you okay?”

“Uh, yes, why?” she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, tapping one foot, hoping for this conversation to end soon.

“Are you sure? Yesterday after the mall, you left just like that” he sounded worried. “Are you angry at me?” there was sadness in his eyes. When they were children and had fights (stupid and childish fights over trivial things, by the way), he was the most hurt. He couldn’t bear the fact that his best friend was angry at him.

“No, everything’s good. I was just tired. And I had things to do” she smiled, but the smile didn’t reach her ears. Anyway, Matt’s face relaxed and the corners of his mouth slid upwards.

“Oh, that’s relieving. I thought you were mad at me. Where are you heading?”

“I was about to go for a walk. I need to clear my mind”

“Guys!” they turned to see Javed coming towards them. “Are you hanging out without me?”

“No, I was about to go for a walk when Matt interrupted me” Matt laughed at her joke, but she wasn’t actually joking.

Matt got a stupendous idea. “Let’s go to the park and get some ice-creams!” Mia mentally cursed but agreed to Matt’s plan.

The park was surprisingly empty, considering it was the last days of summer holidays. Mia ran to the purple swing she adored as a little girl. Javed laughed. “You’re not 8 anymore”

“I have an inner child, Javed Khan” she joked.

Matt sat on the bench. “J, did you come to the party? I think I saw you with Mia and Nell, but I really don’t remember…” his eyebrows furrowed and he looked up the sky, as if trying to recall the events of two nights ago.

“Maybe you don’t remember because you were drunk” Matt gasped at Mia’s comment.

“Hey, I wasn’t that drunk!”

“In fact, you were a little tipsy. I was there mate, Nellie as well. You hugged her and then Emma came too”

“Oh, now I remember! Have you met Lyla already? Emma’s cousin”

Javed nodded and smiled timidly “Sorry mate, but she’s not my type”

“What?!” Matt’s eyes widened, not believing his friend.

“She’s pretty, but… what did you say?” he turned to Mia.

“She’s a bimbo” she got off the swing and sat on the grass. “She saw Javed and she treated him like a servant”

Matt was surprised at the fact, and annoyed at Lyla’s behaviour towards his friend “Oh God, I’m so sorry J”

“It’s okay mate, it’s not your fault”

“And to think that I almost dated her…” revealed a very confused Matt, breaking the short silence.

“You what?”

“While in Ibiza with my mates, they set me up on a blind date with Lyla. Emma helped. But I met her before the date and we hit it off immediately” they started walking towards their neighbourhood.

“Wait, did I tell you how we met?” he didn’t allow their friends to respond because he already started telling the story. It was getting on Mia’s nerves.

The whole way home Matt talked about Emma. Just like the day before. Emma did this, Emma did that. Emma’s amazing, Emma’s funny. Emma, Emma, Emma. “Have I told you that she makes amazing shots? Her brother’s a bartender and he taught her how…”

“Yes, we get it, Emma’s fantastic” Mia’s tone of voice was cold and direct. She was tired of hearing Matt endless talks about her. Both boys turned to her, taken aback by her tone.

“Hey” Matt’s voice softened, “what’s going on?”

“You just keep talking about Emma, all the time. Emma this, Emma that, blah blah blah”

“But…” he was baffled. Javed was uncomfortable at the whole situation.

“I know you’re in love with her” saying those words made her feel like throwing up. “But, mate, seriously stop”

“What the hell!? She did nothing to you!”

“I know she didn’t, but hearing you talk about her 24/7 every time we’re together, it’s not fair, we should be hanging out like the old times, just the three of us, talking about all of our adventures” she took a deep breath. “But if you’re gonna act like a henpecked boyfriend… bye”

She turned around and went inside her house, leaving her friends with their mouths wide open, staring at the door.

- - - - - - -

tag list: @blueeyedheizer

#dean charles chapman #matt blinded by the light #dean charles chapman imagine #dean charles chapman x oc #1917 #dean charles chapman blinded by the light

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rubyleaf · 4 years

Text

JELLIE: A BAND STORY – Spinoff: Katie joins a band

Yay, another spinoff about a character that’s not gonna appear in ages! But I figured out a lot of things about Jen’s troubled little sister Katie (a major player in later arcs) and how she ended up in a band despite all her resolve. Features heavy allusions to Katie’s aroace-ness and basically-stalking-someone-into-your-band behavior I would not condone in real life, even though it’s inspired by real-life events. (If anything, rather milder than said real-life events.)

Can be read as a standalone, but will probably make more sense if you’ve read this Katie spinoff first!

Tag list: @writer-in-monochrome, @alicewestwater, @mouwwie, @writingbyjillian (notify me to be added or removed!)

When Katie moves out for college, it feels like jumping out of a prison window straight into cold, deep water.

On one hand, she’s free now. Free from her parents’ expectations, free from the pressure to be perfect all the time, well-behaved, bringing home perfect grades. On the other, fulfilling those expectations has been her whole identity for so many years. If she can’t be the perfect daughter, the presentable child—who is she?

Katie doesn’t know. She doesn’t want to find out. So she keeps her head down; she works hard, studies hard, rarely socializes. It’s fine. She’s not lonely. She doesn’t need anything or anyone. It’s better to be alone of her own volition than to let people into her life and risk being abandoned.

That is, until her roommate teams up with her class project partner to blackmail her into joining them for a party.

“But I’m just here so you two do your parts of the work,” she insists as she peers into the dark, crowded room, already exhausted from the loud music and louder people. “Don’t make me do anything. I’m leaving again soon anyway.”

The two exchange a disappointed glance. “Come on,” says Rachel, her roommate. “It’s the weekend! It’s not like you have to get up early tomorrow or anything.”

“Yeah, and you should have some fun,” Lyra adds, her project partner who’s as competent as she is a social butterfly. “Maybe talk to some people? I could introduce you to some nice guys if—”

Panic flares through Katie’s whole body. “No, thank you.”

Lyra frowns. “Are you sure? You’ve never had a boyfriend, have you?”

“No,” Katie says firmly, “and I’m not looking for one.”

Which is true. For some reason she has never been interested in boys. Or girls, for that matter. It’s been years and she still doesn’t understand what the fuss is about.

“Okay,” Rachel says as she begins to withdraw into the crowd, “do whatever you want. But if you’re looking for people, feel free to find us!”

Katie makes a mental note to most definitely not do that.

Slipping away from the only people she knows here, she makes for the snack table, careful to put on her most aloof aura. Just like back in high school, it actually works. Katie knows how to avoid being spoken to by strangers, let alone hit on.

Just a few snacks, and then she’s going home. That’s it. That’s the plan.

At least until the sound of off-key singing carries over from next door.

Intrigued, Katie creeps closer. It sounds like a bunch of girls singing karaoke, messing around and having fun. Not really caring if they sound stupid or don’t hit the notes. Just enjoying themselves.

Much like…

Katie should get away, she knows. The last thing she needs right now are the memories, the old feelings. And most of all, in college she’s finally in a place where no one knows she’s the sister of Jennie Lin. She can’t afford to ruin that now.

But no one knows her here. These girls certainly won’t know her. She’s just here for tonight.

And deep down, no matter how much she tries to repress it, she misses singing more than ever.

Just one night. No names, no recognizing, no strings attached.

Pushing open the door, Katie slips into the room.

---

It’s a lot later than planned when Katie leaves the party, escaping the questions about her identity to stumble, breathless but satisfied, into the hallway outside.

This was fun, she has to admit. She has missed singing. More than that, she has missed singing with others, scary as it is to admit it. Even if she’s still not used to those others being strangers…or not nearly as musically gifted as her sister.

But maybe, just maybe, she could go for doing this more often.

“You’re not following your passion, are you?”

Katie gives a start. Wasn’t she alone in the hallway a second ago?

Spinning around, she finds herself face to face with a girl around her age. She feels like she might seen her before somewhere, but she can’t be sure; the most remarkable thing about this stranger is her height, making her stand taller than many boys. Brown eyes meet with hers, their droopy, heavy-lidded shape giving her a deceptively sleepy look, but Katie doesn’t miss the piercing intensity in her otherwise blank gaze.

“Do I know you?” Katie asks coolly.

The stranger ignores her question. “I’ve seen you sing,” she says, her voice deep for a girl and just as bluntly flat as her words. “You’re no amateur. You sing like a person with years of practice.”

Katie takes a step backwards. The strange girl’s words hit way too close to home, far too close for comfort. “It’s just a hobby,” she says. “What are you trying to tell me?”

“I’ve seen you in class.” The girl’s large dark eyes remain fixed on Katie, unblinking. “Engineering doesn’t suit you. You’re just doing this to make your parents happy, am I right?”

Katie wants to protest, wants to argue. But what is she supposed to say when she knows, deep down, that this stranger is telling the truth?

“I don’t see how that’s your business,” she says, narrowing her eyes. “Why do you care what a random stranger is doing with her life?”

“I have a band.”

Katie freezes.

“I play the guitar,” the girl says. “We still need a singer.”

Jen’s face flashes before her eyes, bright and happy without her.

“No,” she says firmly. “No!”

“You’d be perfect,” the girl insists. “Your talent’s wasted on engineering. You need to sing.”

The walls seem to close in.

“No!” Katie bursts out, her voice coming out louder than she intended. Backing away, she hits the wall, her eyes darting through the hallway in search of a way out. “I am not joining a band! Not now! Not ever!”

“But—”

“No,” she says again, turning to run away. “Good luck finding someone else. But I’m not the person you’re looking for!”

“Vicky Vega.”

Katie pauses mid-stride. “What?”

“My name,” says the girl, still sounding as unfazed as ever. “Victoria Vega. If you’re looking for me, in case you change your mind.”

Without mustering another response, Katie runs out of the building and writes off that encounter as a bizarre anecdote to shake her head at in the future.

---

What she doesn’t facture in is just how stubborn Vicky can be.

She has never noticed her in any of her classes before, but it seems the same isn’t true for Vicky. On Monday she is fully prepared for things to go back to normal when, in her very first class, a figure sits down beside her.

“This place is free, right?” Vicky asks when she’s already sitting. “I know you don’t have any friends here.”

Katie wonders if she has realized how rude she’s being. Judging by her tone, she apparently hasn’t.

“What are you doing here?” she asks in an undertone, glaring.

Vicky doesn’t bat an eye. “Joining you,” she says. “We’re in the same class. Might as well sit with you.”

Katie sighs. “I’m still not joining your band,” she replies. “So don’t get your hopes up.”

“Why not?”

What is this person, a child? Annoyance flares, but Katie expertly keeps it down. “I don’t have the time,” she replies, “and I don’t like bands anyway.”

“You sang a lot of band songs on Friday.”

Katie has no good response to that.

The same story repeats itself every time she has a class with Vicky. The girl follows her around like a lost duckling, sitting next to her in class, walking her from classroom to classroom. Katie can’t decide if she should be annoyed or creeped out or a mixture of both.

“How much longer are you planning to do this?” she asks on day four of the whole nonsense. “I already said no!”

Vicky looks unfazed. “I’ll leave you alone,” she says, “when you come to band practice with me.”

Katie takes a deep breath and lets it out again. Can’t show her anger. Can’t have any more outbursts like that night in the hallway. Conceal, don’t feel.

“This is blackmail,” she says. “I could report you for harassment if I wanted to.”

“Okay.”

Just that. Okay. Katie has no idea what to make of it.

She doesn’t report Vicky yet. Partly because she doesn’t want to stir up trouble or draw attention to herself…and partly because, for all her ignorance of boundaries, Victoria Vega doesn’t seem to have a malicious bone in her body.

---

It doesn’t stay limited to just classes. After another week or so, after an early afternoon class, Vicky suddenly produces a lunch box from her bag, opening it to reveal stir-fried noodles and vegetables.

“You haven’t eaten lunch yet,” she guesses—correctly, to Katie’s chagrin.

“Uh, thanks,” Katie says. “What gives you the idea?”

“You always skip lunch to study,” Vicky calls her out. “You need to eat. Here, no need to thank me.”

Katie blinks owlishly at the food, then up at Vicky. Then she narrows her eyes. “Are you trying to bribe me?”

Vicky doesn’t blink. “Maybe.”

“Then I can’t accept this.” Katie pushes the box away. “I’m not joining your band.”

Vicky ponders her words, then shrugs. “Eat it anyway,” she says. “You need it, you’re all bones.”

Feels a bit like a slightly overbearing grandmother, Katie muses.

In the end, she accepts the food.

---

After another week of ever-increasing pestering and favors, Katie has had enough.

“Seriously, stop it,” she snaps as Vicky sits down beside her on the grass in between classes. “I’m not an idiot. I know you only want me for my sister!”

Vicky looks so taken aback that Katie almost feels like an idiot for blurting it out. “Wait,” she asks, “who’s your sister?”

All color leaves Katie’s face. Oh great, now she’s talked herself into a pickle. She has always assumed Vicky would know already—why else should she be so hell-bent? But if she hasn’t—

“Never mind,” she mutters. “It’s not important—”

“Seriously, who?”

Katie looks up. Vicky’s calm, deep eyes are hard to read; but there’s a good-natured curiosity in them, as well as genuine confusion.

Katie sighs.

“Jennie Lin,” she mutters hastily, half swallowing the words. “From Voice in the Crowd.”

“Really?”

Looking up, Katie blinks in amazement. The confusion on Vicky’s face has multiplied exponentially, and it doesn’t look fake. “I didn’t realize you guys were related,” she says. “I thought you just had the same last name.”

Katie almost chokes on her coffee. It’s been some time since she has genuinely laughed; and now here she is, desperately muffling her laughter behind her hands.

“What?” Vicky asks. “My last name is Vega. I had three other Vegas in my high school class and people always asked me if we were related.” She pauses for a second, then adds, “They weren’t even Filipino.”

Katie can’t hide it anymore; she bursts out laughing.

“I feel you,” she says. “In my school we had two other girls named Lin. People always thought we were siblings or cousins.” She rolls her eyes. “Is it my fault I’m Taiwanese and Lin is the second-most popular last name in all of Taiwan?”

Vicky blinks. “Is it really?”

“It is. I checked once.”

Now it’s Vicky’s turn to crack a smile. She never seems to do that, Katie abruptly realizes; at least, she doesn’t seem to do it around her. She decides it suits her.

And suddenly it dawns on her how bizarre this situation is. Here she is, sitting with the very person who’s essentially stalking and blackmailing her into joining her band, laughing and joking around, almost like they’re…

Friends?

No, Katie decides. No attachments. She’s through with that.

Although, she has to admit, Vicky is kind of nice.

---

“I checked out Voice in the Crowd, by the way.”

It’s the next morning, and Katie’s heart clenches in her chest at Vicky’s greeting. A cold hand closes around her ribcage. This is it, her mind whispers. She is officially in her sister’s shadow again.

“What do you think?” she asks coolly. “Jen’s amazing, isn’t she?”

Vicky eyes her closely for a moment, then she replies, “I like your voice better.”

Katie’s eyes grow round. Different emotions war within her: a glimmer of joy, anger on Jen’s behalf, and plain disbelief.

“Now,” she says, “you’re lying.”

Blinking owlishly, Vicky frowns back at her in obvious confusion. “I’m not.”

“I know I’m not better,” Katie snaps, at the same time feeling a little bad for doubting Vicky’s honesty like this. “So stop flattering me. It’s not going to make me change my mind.”

She tilts her head, and a few strands of hair—dyed black for college to look less like Jen—fall into her eyes, obscuring Vicky from view. She doesn’t bother brushing them away.

“You have a higher voice.”

She pauses.

“And raspier,” Vicky continues, her voice as matter-of-fact as ever. “It’s made for a darker sound. So I think your voice works better with the music we’re trying to make.”

Vicky isn’t saying her voice is objectively better than Jen’s; that really would be a lie. She isn’t saying it’s worse either. She is saying it’s different, simple as that, and better suited to one particular situation.

Suddenly she wants to know the sound of this band she’s supposed to work so well with.

But…no. She can’t do that. She’s walking her own path now, not trying to follow in Jen’s footsteps.

Besides, she’s the only daughter her parents have any hopes for now.

And that means she can’t disappoint them.

---

Of course the one time Katie’s late for class is the time a creep shows up.

It’s obvious from the moment he sits down next to her—in Vicky’s seat, she thinks with indignance—way too close for comfort. His eyes are glued to her form, unblinking, staring much too intensely as he says, “Hi!”

Katie inches subtly away from him. “Hello.”

“I finally get to talk to you,” he says. “You’re always with that other girl, the ugly one.” Katie’s eye twitches, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Don’t see what you see in her, you’re way prettier.”

Setting her jaw, Katie tries her best to remain coolly polite. “Vicky’s my friend,” she says firmly and instantly feels strange to admit it out loud. “And I don’t think she’s ugly.”

“Really? C’mon, be honest, she looks like a dude.” The guy laughs. Katie doesn’t. “And she always sticks to you like superglue.”

“I let her,” Katie replies.

“Yeah, duh. I’m just saying you should raise your standards.” The guy gestures loosely. “Hang out with some hot people. Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No,” Katie says truthfully. She knows it would be better to lie, but she simply can’t bring herself to even pretend to be in a relationship. The very idea creeps her out to the core.

“Whew, lucky!” he replies. “Lemme guess: Your parents didn’t let you have one in high school? Sounds like the only reason a hottie like you would be single.”

Katie stares blankly at the window, wondering how much more obvious she has to be about not being interested.

The guy leans closer, his stare further intensifying. “Would you like to get some experience?” he says. “Make up for what you missed? I could teach you, if you know what I mean.”

A shiver runs down Katie’s spine. “Um…no, thank you,” she says.

He doesn’t back off. He doesn’t even get the hint. “Why not?” he replies. “Don’t worry, your parents will never find out!”

Katie’s eye twitches. “I’m not worried about them,” she says. “I’m not interested in dating.”

“What? Hey, that’s just what they tried to make you think.” He scoffs. “You just need to try it and then you’re gonna love it—”

“Excuse me.”

Katie’s entire body relaxes on the spot. Vicky. Finally.

“That’s my seat you’re sitting in,” she says, staring darkly at the guy next to Katie. “Move.”

Turning around, their classmate snorts. “Hey, I was just talking to your little friend here,” he says. “Why’re you so scared? It’s not like I’m gonna eat her.”

Katie makes no comment. Vicky crosses her arms, unfazed, unimpressed.

“She’s not into you,” she says flatly. “Leave her alone.”

“Or what, you’ll kick my ass?” He laughs. “She likes me better than your ugly mug anyway. Right, Katie?”

Katie smiles mirthlessly. “No.”

“Hey, what’s that about? We were having a great conversation—”

Vicky doesn’t let him finish. Grabbing him by the collar, she yanks him to his feet. Even when he’s standing, she’s still several inches taller.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you,” Vicky says quietly, an unsubtle threat in her voice. “Back off.”

Glaring, the guy assesses his chances against her before acknowledging his defeat and grabbing his belongings, muttering something about an overprotective bitch.

Sighing with relief, Katie smiles as Vicky sits down beside her, calmly staying close to protect her from any further attempts. “Thank you,” she says. “You came in at the right time.”

Vicky cracks a slight smile. “You’re welcome.”

“But…I’m not supposed to join your band now, right?” Katie looks down. “As a thank you…or something.”

“I didn’t do this to win you over.”

There they are again, those dark, ever-stoic eyes resting heavily on hers. “It’s just basic decency,” Vicky says. “You don’t owe me anything.”

Deep inside Katie’s heart, something changes, or maybe she understands it at last.

What has she been doing? She has effectively been stringing Vicky along for all this time, being distrustful and wary and straight-up rude for no reason except her own unresolved issues. And Vicky Vega is still here. She still has her back, without ever calling her out on her nonsense, without comparing her to her sister or asking for any favors.

I’ve been a terrible friend.

Vicky deserves better than this attitude. Vicky has done so much for her; she deserves something nice in return.

And besides, a voice within her whispers, if it’s with someone like Vicky…maybe even in a band might not be so bad.

---

Katie’s hands are shaking slightly as she steps up to the door of the old storage room the band uses to practice. Part of her brain is still screaming to abort mission before she gets sucked into something beyond her control, the very something she has tried to avoid for so many years.

Then Vicky glances at her, her expression silently questioning. Katie swallows. Smiles.

And nods her okay.

Vicky opens the door and steps inside. “Hey, everyone,” she says. “Sorry I’m late. I brought us a singer.”

And before the bandmates can express their surprise or confusion, Katie follows her into the room.

“Hello, everybody,” she says, still trying to smile. “I’m Katie Lin, and I’m auditioning to be the vocalist.”

#those who know my fave band know my main source of inspiration for like three (3) different bands in this story #writeblr #writing #wtwcommunity #character study #jellie: a band story #c: katie lin #c: victoria vega #me and my writings

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winterisakiller · 5 years

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Get Better - Chapter Eight

Title: Get Better

Chapter: 8/18

Character: Tom Hiddleston/Cath Richardson (OFC)

Genre: Romance

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: Love. Companionship. Family. These are all of the things Tom Hiddleston desperately wanted. But his life and his choices left that a distant and unlikely prospect. So he did his best to move on and live his life as is. When an opportunity to return to the theater arises, he jumps at the chance and along the way finds that maybe, just maybe, those distant and unlikely prospects are closer than he could have imagined. Sequel to Brave Face.

Authors Notes/Warnings: So as I was writing Brave Face I knew that Tom’s story wasn’t over, even if that particular part of it was. And while I knew, more or less, what the overall ending to the story would be, its taken me a while to figure out the time in between. Thanks to @redfoxwritesstuff for letting me continually throw ideas off and at you. I still can’t fathom why you put up with it, but I am eternally grateful you do. This story will update on Thursdays.

Tag list:@tinchentitri @noplacelikehome77 @nonsensicalobsessions @theheartofpenelope @blacksuitofdoom @messy-insomniac-bookgirl @wolfsmom1 @just-the-hiddles @theoneanna @hiddlescastle @echantedbytwh

Previous Chapter

CHAPTER EIGHT

“Large English Breakfast with Almond milk and a double latte macchiato.”

Tom smiled brightly at the barista and grabbed the two steaming mugs from the counter. He weaved his way through several tables towards the back of the small café. The store front was busy enough for a Monday morning; a stream of tired and warmly attired commuters parading in and out in search of much needed caffeine. But sitting in the back of the shop, tucked away by a small working fireplace, guaranteed they would be left more or less alone.

“Alright, one tea.” He placed the white ceramic mug in front of Ben and settled into the cushioned chair opposite, placing his own steaming mug down on the dark wood table. “And my own spot of heaven.”

Ben chuckled, blowing gently on the steaming tea before him. “I see the caffeine addiction is still running strong.”

“Stronger than ever.” Tom laughed, picking up his gently steaming mug and taking a careful sip. He closed his eyes briefly, enjoying the warmth and the rush of caffeine as the smooth and bitter drink hit his tongue. Bliss. He placed the mug down, resting his folded hands on the table. Ben stifled a yawn, rubbing his free hand over his face. Tom took the opportunity to study his friend; taking in his stooped posture, heavy-lidded eyes, and the tension in his shoulders.

He hadn’t talked with Ben much in the past few weeks and hadn’t seen him in longer; between rehearsals and the birth of Ben and Sophie’s youngest, a boy, neither man had been much up for socializing. Tom had called the afternoon before to check in on Ben (and his newly expanded family) and had been not entirely surprised when Ben had jumped at the chance to get out of the house. “I don’t care when or where, but please take me away.” It had taken all he had not to chuckle at the desperation in Ben’s tone and plans were quickly set for a meeting at a café halfway between their two homes the following morning. “Thank you,” Ben had all but implored before the call had ended. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

Tom picked up his mug and took another sip of his macchiato. “How are things with Sophie and the kids?”

A tired but warm smile spread across Ben’s face. “Good…Exhausting, but good.” He took another sip of his tea, his eyes closing briefly, before placing the mug back onto the table top. “Sleep is a fond but distant memory.”

“I can only imagine,” Tom laughed, with an understanding nod. He ran his finger up and down the side of his mug. “And how are the boys adjusting?”

“Kit’s been a bit moody but seems to be settling in. He does however look at Sophie and me from time to time as if we’ve betrayed him in the worst way.” He chuckled softly, taking another sip of his tea. “But Hal seems fine for the most part. He’s been a bit fussy when Sophie can’t hold him but he overall seems to be handling it much better than either of us thought.”

“And the littlest one?”

“He’s been giving us a run for our money. Fussier than either of the other two unless he’s being held.” Ben laughed in earnest. He was drained, that much was abundantly clear, but he happy, albeit exhausted, pride that shone in Ben’s eyes spoke volumes. “So inevitably he spends most of his time in either mine or Sophie’s arms. Though he seems to be taking to the self-rocker Sophie’s mum sent up after Hal was born. Needless to say, we’re hoping it sticks for more than a week or so. I don’t think I can stand watching Hal cry because we aren’t able to hold him too.” Ben laughed again and took another sip of his tea.

“I’m thrilled for you mate, both of you.” Tom took another sip of his macchiato. “Though,” he started again with a raise of his eyebrow, “I can readily admit I don’t begrudge you the lack of sleep.”

Ben laughed and shook his head, pointing a finger at Tom with a knowing look. “It’ll be your time soon enough, mark my words.”

Tom shrugged and shook his head with a soft sigh. There was no sense in trying to argue either way with Ben; he’d tried so many times and it was frankly exhausting. The best course of action, it seemed, was simply to let it be. He picked up his mug once more and took another long sip.

After several minutes silence, Ben tapped his fingers idly on the tabletop and asked. “How is the show going?”

Tom’s face lit at the question, a full smile spreading quickly across his features. “Bloody wonderful.”

“Wonderful, eh?” Ben rested his elbows on the table and leaned his chin against his opened palms. “Do tell.”

Laughing, Tom rambled through details about the play and the people he worked with. The ridiculous way Charlie had taken to try to make him laugh during a serious scene (he hadn’t cracked yet but Tom could admit it was coming) and the pranks he and Zawe had taken to pulling on both each other and, in turn, on Charlie. He talked about Cath and the way she made him laugh, shared silly anecdotes they’d discussed, talked about how she remembered how he liked his coffee after one run in at the coffee shop near the theatre. He smiled, rubbing his finger along the rim of the mug, as he remembered the way her face lit up when she laughed at a stupid joke he’d shared with her the evening before.

In the week that had passed since their impromptu coffee meeting (he refused to let himself think of it as a date), he and Cath had taken to trading coffee runs and talking. She’d asked fondly after Bobby; it appeared the spaniel (the flirting menace) had left quite an impression and he’d found himself contemplating asking her to join them on one of their morning runs. The only thing stopping him (he told himself fiercely) had been the look of disgusted horror she’d worn when he’d mentioned running. “You’re telling me you do that for fun. Insanity. Complete and utter insanity.”

Ben’s voice broke through the memory. He glanced across the table to find his friend shooting him a sly look. “This Cath sounds like quite the woman, to have captured your attention so singularly.”

Tom blinked, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “Ben, she’s just a friend.”

He watched as Ben’s eyebrows rose comically. “And I’m a tea pot.”

“And aren’t you a lovely one?”

“Thomas, I know you. I know the way you get when you are interested in someone.” He raised an eyebrow at his friend. “And, my dear fellow, you are definitely interested in this one.” He paused for a sip of his tea. “Out of all the people you’ve worked with on this show, she is the one you’ve talked about the most.” He quirked an eyebrow once again.

“She is a friend,” Tom insisted, pausing to take another deep sip of his coffee. “Or at least someone I could consider one, in time…”

“And someone you find attractive.”

Tom grunted under his breath. “That has nothing to do with anything.”

“But you don’t deny it?” Ben countered with a grin.

An exasperated sigh was his only reply for a long while. “Fine, yes she is attractive and I’m not blind to that. But it’s not the best idea.”

“Why ever not?” Ben threw back. “You like her, no one is saying you’ve got to marry her this instant.” Tom narrowed his eyes. Ben simply ignored him and carried on. “I’m just saying don’t lie to yourself. You like her and from what I’ve gathered she doesn’t think you’re a complete waste of a man.”

Tom narrowed his eyes further. Ben burst out into a deep laugh at that which only served to deepen his friend’s already scathing glare.

“Oh poppet, fix your face. People will think we’ve had a falling out.” Tom fought the smirk that threatened to spread across his face. And lost. Ben grinned cheekily. “I’m just saying why not give it a shot? What do you have to lose?”

“My track record with these things is…less than stellar. I don’t want to fuck things up by just jumping in. She’s a good person…She deserves better.”

“That is utter bullshit.” Ben snapped, starling Tom with his ferocity. “Okay yes, you’ve made some spectacularly unfortunate decisions in the past but the fact that you’re pausing to think about them speaks a great deal towards just how much you’ve grown and to just how serious you are about this woman.” Ben reached out and placed a hand on Tom’s arm, squeezing it in reassurance and in understanding. “You don’t have to jump into anything. Just talk with her. Get to know her, be her friend. And see if this…If she is ultimately worth taking a risk for.” He offered Tom a warm smile. “The only thing you have to lose is this…” Ben waved his hand before him. “Fear that’s still holding you back.”

—

Tom shook his head, pausing to tie his laces, the conversation from earlier replaying itself once more in his mind. His mid-morning run with Bobby had taken nearly an extra half hour as he thought over everything Ben had said to him and tried to figure out just what he was going to do about it. Bobby had been utterly delighted with the change and had taken full advantage; sniffing new territory, marking it as his, and finding even more wildlife to chase.

It was still a relatively cool day, though warmer for mid-March, and he found most of the park and surrounding streets were dotted with people, but not as crowded as he would have expected for the time of day. He’d been stopped a handful of times, a few young women and a little boy who pointed at him crying out “It’s Loki, daddy!” as he pulled on his father’s hand. Tom had done his best to be friendly and open with each and every one of them. He’d refused pictures but had signed the receipts and other bits of paper they’d handed him. Thankfully, he’d managed to get away before a bigger crowd had a chance to form.

Not a damned thing was any clearer though when he climbed his front steps and mechanically unlocked and opened his front door. Bobby shuffled around contentedly as Tom unclipped his lead and hung it on the hall tree next to his jacket. He toed off his trainers and jogged up the stairs to shower. He was hot, sweaty, and tired, but still utterly confused. He hated it, hated how indecisive he was being. Annoyed, he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it into the laundry basket by the bathroom door. His shorts, leggings, and socks were next. As he tossed them into the basket as well, he let out a resigned groan, knowing he couldn’t put off a load of washing for much longer. He could send them to a laundry service, it would certainly make his life infinitely easier if he did, but doing simple things like his own washing or running to the shops on his own helped to keep him feeling grounded. And despite everything, that was something he still desperately needed.

The bathroom light flickered to life as Tom padded his way towards the walk in shower and fiddled with the knobs until he’d gotten the water temperature just so. He all but sighed in bliss as he stepped into the steaming water, letting it soothe his aching muscles and warm him from the chill of the late morning. He soaped and shampooed with a delightful lethargy, not quite wanting to give up the peace and warmth. But the day would carry on without him whether he was ready for it or not. Rinsing thoroughly, Tom shut off the water and rubbed his face with his hands. He reached for the towel hanging on the rack beside the shower and made quick work of wiping his face and rubbing his hair before wrapping the towel efficiently around his waist.

He found Bobby curled contentedly at the center of his made bed. Tom knew he should scold the spaniel and move him, but couldn’t find it in his heart to do so. Bobby rolled onto his back, mouth hanging open and tongue lulling to one side and barked once at Tom.

“You are trouble,” Tom laughed, making his way towards his wardrobe and pulling out jeans, a jumper, socks, and boxers. Laying the gathered clothing on the edge of the bed, Tom quickly dried himself and dressed. It was a late day today and he technically didn’t have to be at the theatre until around five. That gave him plenty of time to putter around before he needed to consider heading out.

As he rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs, the familiar ring of his mobile echoed from the table near the front door. Tom darted forward, managing to grab it and swipe to answer without dropping either the mobile or himself.

“Hello?”

“Afternoon, brother mine.” He could hear the amusement in his younger sister’s voice.

Tom let out a soft laugh. “What do you want Em?”

“Want something? Me? I’m hurt, Tommy. So hurt.”

“Funny,” he quipped, heading into the living room. He plopped himself onto the couch, propping his feet up on the edge of the coffee table. He hit the speaker button and dropped his mobile on the couch beside him. Bobby padded in from the hallway and jumped up beside Tom on the couch, resting his head on his master’s crossed legs.

“And don’t you ever forget it,” Emma chuckled. “Seriously though, you know Jack and I are planning to come see the show tonight.”

“Yes…” A sense of foreboding rushed through him. He reached out and absently stroked Bobby’s ear.

“If you are alright with it, would you mind me swinging by with Allie for a bit? Mum’s coming up tonight to mind her, but I have a few errands I need to run…”

“And they’d be easier sans toddler?” Tom finished, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

“I know it’s horribly last minute but I am utterly desperate.”

Tom let out a quiet sigh. “What time do you think you’ll be back? Or is Mum coming here?”

“Um, I should be back by half two…quarter after at the latest…” Tom heard shuffling in the background, followed by a car door shutting. “Come on baby.” Allie’s high pitched giggle filtered through the phone’s speaker. A few moments later his front gate buzzed.

Tom groaned. “Please tell me you’ve not done what I think you’ve done.” The gate buzzed again and Bobby barked elatedly, jumped off the couch and made a mad dash towards the front door. “Very cute, Em.” He pushed himself up to his feet and wandered towards the panel by the door. He didn’t bother checking the monitor before buzzing Emma and Allie in. Bobby continued to bounce excitedly by his feet.

A knock sounded on the door a few moments later. He made quick work of the locks and pulled the door open, using his back leg to keep Bobby from darting out. Emma smiled brightly at him, her daughter clutched in her arms.

“Uncle Tommy!”

Tom’s face brightened and he reached out to take the small girl from her mother. “Hello princess. Are you ready to have fun?” She nodded enthusiastically, clapping her hands together.

A small, warm smile spread across Emma’s face as she watched the sight before her for several moments before seeming to remember herself. “Alright, darling,” she started, clapping her hands together. “Be good for your uncle. Mummy will be back in a few hours.” She kissed Allie on the cheek then smiled brightly at her brother. “Thanks, Tom. You’re the best.”

He raised an eyebrow and pointed a finger of his free hand at Emma. “You’d do well to remember that.”

Emma snorted. “Funny.” A horn sounded from the street. Emma leaned over and kissed Allie once more before running down the walk and towards the gate. “See you in a bit.”

Tom pushed the door closed with his hip and placed his squirming niece down so that he could relock the door. He then made quick work of removing her pink coat as she squirmed and hanging in on the hall tree beside his own. Bobby, excited by the arrival of a new friend, barked once and began to lick Allie’s face causing the little girl to squeal in delight and reaching out to pat the dog in return. Tom found himself smiling at the sight and lowered himself to the floor beside them. There was something so simple and so beautiful about the innocence in which they interacted and he was taken by it so completely.

He sat on the floor in his front hall beside his dog and his niece for what felt like ages before he broke the contented silence. “So my darling, what would you like to do?”

Allie tore her attention away from Bobby with great reluctance and faced her uncle. She scrunched her face in thought, sandy brows nearly reaching her the coppery curls that brushed her forehead. “Park,” she finally answered with a decisive nod of her head.

Tom laughed and nodded. “Park it is.” He let out a soft groan as he pushed himself to his feet and Allie giggled at his efforts. “Laugh now, little girl, but someday you will understand all too well.”

“Uncle Tommy silly.”

“Yes,” he answered with a chuckle. “Yes, I am.” He rubbed his hands on his thighs and grabbed Bobby’s lead from the hall tree. Bobby barked twice then sat still, his tail a blur against the hardwood floor. “Two walkies in less than two hours. You, my lad, are spoiled,” he joked as he clipped the lead and harness around the spaniel.

Patting his back pocket to make sure he had wallet, phone, and keys, Tom grabbed his coat, shrugging it on before helping Allie into her own. Both dog and child bounced excitedly by his feet and Tom couldn’t help the smile which spread across his face. Taking Allie firmly in one hand and Bobby’s lead in the other, the trio made their way from the house and out into the bright early afternoon light.

Next Chapter

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston rpf #tom hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston x oc #tom hiddleston x original female character #tom hiddleston x orignal character #get better fic #Tom and Cath

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scullyy · 5 years

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Always Means Always

Pairing: Clementine x Louis

Word Count: 2787

Summary: Clementine has always been there for AJ, always been there to save him. Now it's up to him to be there for her, as well as the school kids. But the one leg is a surprise

A/N: So I have been wondering about this since the episode was released but luckily there was a reddit post that explained how AJ got back to the school, which was super helpful. So this is based on that. That episode was fucking wild. Enjoy :))

@sicpxrvismxgna here is your tag as you asked. @tomhottland you also seemed very excited about this so hopefully you enjoy it :D

Clementine was never usually the type to be wrong, her decisions were clear and precise. Her thinking was logical and centred in truth. When she taped up the holes in his little shoes, that was to protect his feet. They still bled through his socks later that night, but she was always there to soothe him. With a strong hand, she wiped the blood away and used the last of their gauze to stop it. For the rest of the night, she held him close and told him stories, stories of all the good things she had seen a person do.

She would tell AJ about his father, how he gave her a juice box amidst a crisis despite knowing that others within the group wouldn’t like it. Clementine would tell him about another boy, small and brave just like him. His name was Duck and he would tell Clementine stories all day. They were over the top and made no sense, but they got her smiling. In return, she put a bug on his pillow.

But everyone has a limit, and Clementine had reached hers. She wanted him to kill her, to plunge the axe right into her skull. Was this it? All of her fighting had come down to this? AJ didn't have a story of hope to tell her, no anecdote that would change her mind. It was time for AJ to become one of her stories. To be her hero.

As AJ held the axe high in the air, he pondered over everything Clementine had done for him; getting him back from the Ranch, despite all the blood. Finding food for him in unlikely and dangerous places, singing him to sleep on nights where the shadows loomed over them. She was always one step ahead, leading him to safety. Now it was his turn.

AJ slammed the axe down onto her leg instead, flinching at her scream. It made his nerves shake, yet he kept his head clear. Fear would just have to fuck off. He yanked it out of her skin and threw it back down, cutting deeper. Clementine fell back against the hay, passing out to his sickening delight. The blood was never-ending, it slithered out of her leg and along towards AJ, filling in the cracks within the earth.

"I hope you're not mad at me for this."

With four more bone-crunching chops, the leg was gone, the bite was no longer apart of her. Time was of the essence. AJ remembered one of the many, many lessons Clementine had bestowed upon him, about a cot-cau-seal...burning the wound. With the flint from the cave in his grasp, he collected a small pile of hay and set it ablaze as best he could. He ignored the wave of hands stretching out to him from the outside, they weren't a problem as of now. AJ looked back at Clem, her strength had gone dim.

The tip of his knife hovered over the brief flame before coming into immediate contact with her open wound, AJ repressed the urge to go vomit in the corner. "This is gross," His palm dragged along her skin, taking her temperature. Still warm, still alive. His eyes gave way to tears that didn't seem to stop. She looked so barren, nearly lost and gone forever. "Stop that, you're not done."

The rope laying nearby was a big ray of sunshine. He yanked it closer to him and wrapped it tightly around what remained of her leg, the only useful thing he learned from Abel. That and to be more careful around the traps.

AJ gripped the knife as he scanned the barn. Monsters still threatened to spill over. He pushed the wheelbarrow against the small doors, taunting the monsters over to him. "Dummy," One by one they fell victim to the blade. As Clementine had taught him, they're not smart.

We're smarter than all of them.

He heeded her advice and dumped walker guts all over her, mixing with her own blood and grime. The smell wafting from both of them filled the barn and AJ was eager to get out. Pushing the wheelbarrow closer to her, AJ lifted her with all his might, throwing her torso in first before adding her now singular leg. She fell in like a ragdoll, limbs hanging over either side of the wheelbarrow.

"Okay Clem, we're almost there." He hoisted the wheelbarrow off the ground and slowly pushed it through the barn doors. Fortunately, there were no monsters in sight, AJ took in a deep breath and began to run like mad.

He zoomed through the trees like a small ninja, ducking behind bushes whenever he heard a twig snap in the distance. He followed the winding pathway through the forest, eyes on the hunt for the giant school.

AJ ran for what felt like hours, soon every tree began to look the same until he noticed a stone wall behind a thick line of branches. He mustered all the strength he had left and ran as fast as his little legs could carry him.

Aasim's presence on the watchtower was a sight for unbelievably tired eyes. He glanced up from the caterpillar making its way along the floor, noticing a small figure beyond the trees...who was moving a wheelbarrow?

"Aasim!"

Holy shit-

"Guys! They're alive!" Aasim leapt off the tower, almost crushing his ankles. All of the kids followed his calls to the gate and the sight that greeted them was near maddening.

From head to toe, both were covered in walker guts. AJ's eyes hung low, never leaving Clementine's body. He was hunting for any sign of life, a spark of her return. Clementine laid still in the wheelbarrow, her hands hanging lifelessly over either side of the tray. Seeing her in such close relations with Death was enough to make them all panic, but the missing leg rattled each and every one of them.

Louis immediately ran over and gripped the sides of the rusted wheelbarrow. "What the fuck happened?" How did it happen, when did it happen, what could be done to help? Clementine was always the strong one, always the one with a game plan. She couldn't be dead, was she? "What happened to her?"

AJ set the wheel back onto the ground, his hands still clenched by the anger in his bones. "She...she got bit,"

Even the notion made everyone go stone cold.

"I had to cut it off, but she passed out." AJ quickly quelled their worries, noting how all their shoulders fell in unison.

Ruby pressed her clammy palm against Clementine's ghostly skin. "She's still warm, let's get her inside." She took control of the wheelbarrow from AJ and guided it to the school with the help of Aasim and Omar.

"What the fuck is going on?" Violet called out, her arms reaching out for something to hold onto.

Louis offered his arm to her. "It's Clementine and AJ, they're home." It fell so easily from his lips as his fear crumbled away. They were home, they were alive.

Violet fumbled around for AJ before grabbing onto a piece of his hair. "Holy shit, you're okay," It really was him, she would recognise that fluffy set of hair anywhere, even if it was drenched in guts. “C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up little man.”

The minutes quickly bled into an hour. An hour full of slow marches outside her bedroom, eyes flicking to the door that separated her. AJ wiped away the last of the blood from his face, grimacing at the stained cloth in his hand.

Louis noticed his glare, the slight twitch of his fingers. He knelt down beside him, forcing their eyes to lock. "You did good AJ, had you not cut her leg off she wouldn't be here right now."

"I hope she makes it,"

The shaking of the door handle brought everyone out of their deep thoughts. Ruby quickly closed the door behind her, despite AJ trying to push through.

"She's gonna be fine sugar, right now she's resting. You did the right thing for her," Ruby patted the tyke on the back, but he didn't even register her presence. "Why don't you go off and talk to Aasim? He'll show you what to do once Clem wakes up so we can help her."

AJ stood to attention like a soldier, if Clementine needed protecting he was the man for the job. Aasim led him down the hallway towards his bedroom, where a small pile of medical books were waiting for them to scour through.

"Can I at least go see her?" Louis inquired once the pair were out of sight. This force that kept him and Clementine together was beckoning him, almost taunting him with how close she was.

Ruby scrunched her nose. "Fine, only for a minute. Don't try and wake her." She moved to Violet, eyeing down the makeshift eye patch she had to make. It would need changing soon.

Louis hovered outside the door longer than he intended to, his hand gripping the doorknob tightly. So close, yet so far at the same time. He slowly opened the door, wincing at the loud creak. His eyes fell upon the girl laying in her bed,

He nearly fell to his knees right then and there.

She looked so small and frail, blood staining every inch of her skin. Louis couldn't tell if it was walker guts or her own, he didn't care to know. He quickly shut the door and pulled up a chair beside her, immediately reaching for her hand. It was cold to the touch, reminding him of the skin of a walker.

"I can't believe you're alive," After leaving her and AJ behind at the bridge, every worst-case scenario had been running through his head. "And now you're one leg down. Shit."

Would this have happened had he not left them? If he had climbed back over the fence and helped them up that cliff, would she still be fighting for her life?

Louis found himself choking on his words, his throat tightened as his emotions grew into a fully armed cavalry. "Please wake up Clem. I shouldn't have left you and AJ back at the bridge, that was stupid. Please wake up so we can build our house, I'll paint the entire thing yellow for you." He lowered his head against her arm, squeezing her hand. His fingers ran over every line, every speck of dirt, every callus that had formed over the years. She was a warrior, she saved him and every else in the school. Without her...

"You...better keep to that,"

Her voice broke him free from his shackles, just as it had done before. Louis quickly looked up at her, eyes flickering back and forth between her eyes and lips, praying that what he heard wasn't just a figment of his mind.

Clementine's eyes flickered open to his delight. "Hey, Lou." And they had never looked so beautiful and inviting.

"Oh my god, Clem!" He couldn't help but throw himself at her. His arms snaked around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest, nearly hiding her from everything.

She gently ran a hand up and down his back. "Woah there, I'm okay," Memories of climbing a cliff-face and a piercing pain within her ankle all came back to her, reminding her of what she almost lost. "Well, as okay as I can be...what happened?"

Louis set her back down onto the pillow, choosing to keep ahold of her hands. "AJ, he cut your bite off." He nodded to where her calf used to be. It was still an odd sight for him, better than her returning with the bite itself.

Clementine could still feel her toes, she still remembered the feeling of wiggling her toes within her socks. "Fuck," It was all gone now. Her fighting days were over.

The weight of a 'what if' came over Louis. "I - we thought you were dead Clem. You've been unconscious for an hour." Longest damn hour of his life, certainly replaced the brief minute they spent apart just the day before.

"Is AJ okay?" Clementine remembered what he did, going against the grain like that couldn't have been easy. She remembered so vividly how much he cried, how he shouted when he threw the axe into her skin. Everything after that goes blank.

"He's fine, a little shaken up but Aasim is talking to him."

She needed to see him and hold him and check his body for any sign of trouble. She wanted to see him smile again and imprint it into her memory, she'd bop him on the nose as many times necessary. "I nearly failed him, Louis. I don't know what would have happened if he left me in that barn."

Louis shrugged. "I don't know what I would have done either." AJ was certainly a much braver boy, hell Louis couldn't even hurt Abel when given the chance. A puddle of guilt dripped throughout his gut. "I shouldn't have left you guys, back at the bridge-"

Clementine squeezed his hand. "You couldn't have known."

"Still, I just left. Had it been me stuck on the bridge you would have come back, I'm sorry." This would only be the first of many apologies he planned to deliver. There were a lot of things in his life he would do differently given a second chance, this ranked as number one. Clementine was a fighter, through and through. She could take people's bones and make them into a crown if she wanted to, Louis would even offer his own bones for her. His Queen Clem. Her moxie was almost gone, he never knew such a thing could be so easily missed.

"Louis there's nothing to be sorry for, who knows what would have happened to you if you did stay. I'm just glad you're safe."

Both of the young lovers smiled gracefully at each other, basking in their reunion. "Me too,"

He danced his fingers along the brim of her stump, wondering if him carrying her around bridal style was out of the question. "That's gonna leave one hell of a scar." The bandage Ruby had relentlessly wrapped around it was already beginning to stain with deep red blood, who knows how long it would take to heal over.

"Scars are way cooler than stumps," Clementine quoted an old friend, smiling at the irony of the situation. Now she'll have an extra scar, with an extra cool story this time.

"You make them both cool," Louis muttered. She could make wearing your clothes inside out cool. "Cool as a cucumber you are, Clementine."

Over the next few days, she didn't feel so cool, laying in bed useless. Omar let her keep the rabbit's foot, she seemed to need it more than him. AJ never left her bedside, not even when Willy asked if he wanted to join him on watch. Ruby checked in on her three times a day, even once Clementine found the strength to protest, she was still checking in.

Louis brought in the gramophone just for her, classical was always their music choice. He would lay in bed beside her and AJ, sharing whatever dad jokes he could remember.

"That doesn't make sense," AJ rebuffed the joke as soon as Louis threw the punchline. "A chicken doesn't know what a road is."

Louis wondered why this kid was so inquisitive and questioning of everything, it was cute but near frustrating sometimes. "He still needs to get to places, the chicken is very busy."

"But he's a chicken, where does he have to go?"

"You know what let's not over analyse a dead joke," Clementine spoke up from between the two, knowing full well that they would have been going round in circles for hours. "How are you feeling AJ?"

AJ wasn't entirely sure how he was feeling, or how to put that into words. "Better, now that you're safe. But I think I'm scared too,"

Louis and Clementine shuffled closer to him. "What are you scared of kiddo?"

"Are you mad at me? Cause I cut your leg off," His big eyes near frightened Clementine, for such a small boy he held so much emotion, so many questions about the world. "Please don't be mad."

"AJ, you saved my life in there, I am so grateful," Clementine wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned against him, burying the tip of her nose within his hair. "You protected me like you said you would."

AJ's mood took a sudden turn, his face immediately glowing once again. "Yeah, I did. I'll always be around to protect you, Clem. Louis too." He grinned up at both of them, the two people who had become so important in his life. He'd cut off either of their legs if it meant keeping them alive.

"We're here for you too little dude," Louis gave the kid a soft high-five. "Always."

Together they were stronger, a mutual understanding that together nothing could hurt them. Not anymore and not ever again.

#twdg #the walking dead game #the walking dead game season four #twdg clementine #twdgs4 #twdg louis #twdg aj #twdg violet #clouis #louisentine #fanfiction #xscullyx

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seenashwrite · 5 years

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The Fall ‘18/Winter ‘19 Edition of…

It’s a better-late-than-never situation, but it’s finally here!

*~* New to The Nail? *~*

The Nail isn’t about perfection. It isn’t about award-level contenders. It isn’t for highlighting certain genres of fics or specific ships. It’s about seeing real effort and hard work radiate off of the screen - the sole focus is quality. Character dimension. Writing with clever readers in mind. Well-built worlds. Killer starts and clutch endings. Crazy crisp dialogue. Incredibly tight plotting. More shows, less tells. Big emotion.

Find past editions HERE. Find what factors are considered when constructing this rec list, and learn how to get your recommendations to me HERE. Find info on the structure of these rec posts HERE, with answers to FAQs such as “Why did someone make up a title for my piece?”, and more.

>> The Basics On What’s Below <<

- All from the world of SPN (unless otherwise noted, i.e. cross-overs), across all genres; these are organized by length for the most part, so you’ll need to click thru to see if it is a theme of your preference; I aim to not have too much that’s of the same genre/length in a given edition, and limit the times a writer can appear on a given list (if they had more that fit the bill, I’ll chuck ‘em to next edition’s list); when applicable, unique projects, original stories, and any anecdotes/personal essays/family stories/etc. are near the end.

- You’ll see icons throughout…

If it has NSFW elements / walks an NSFW line - ⚠️

If it features / blatantly alludes to a specific ship - 🚢

If it has less than 100 notes (at time of this post) - 📌

And that last item is very important.

- A main priority of The Nail is to have at least 50% of these one-and-done SPN stories (so, drabbles and one-shots) be those which have less than 100 notes (give or take a few self-reblogs by the writer, and not counting mine) in each posting, and for this edition, out of 36, these comprise 26 so the goal was met!

Highly encourage you to at minimum hit the heart, ideally reblogging along with a note of feedback if you enjoyed. To do my part, I’ll be queuing these low-note fics one per day after this edition is published.

- Reblog of this rec list by “big blogs” (let’s say 1K followers and up) is especially appreciated, and not for my sake; it’s to get these wonderful writers with low note fics as much exposure as possible.

- Writers, make sure you scroll - you may be on here more than once!

- “Notes from Nash" at the very bottom of the post.

- For your mobile convenience, here’s The Nail Master Post of Editions

- And finally, shameless plugs....

See Nash Write: Master List

You Totally Made That Up podcast - @youtotallymadethatup

Note: Just a line or two excerpt to paint a little picture - no specific feedback on these drabbles because each writer nailed it in the entirety - all are poignant, well-structured, thoughtful, and they did it all in a limited amount of words. Well done, all of you.

181 words

The Wishes 📌 - @sixtysevenandwhiskey

It’s a lot of nothing, until nothing is all there is.

182 words

Stars 📌 - @covered-byroses

She loved looking at the stars.

223 words

Storytelling 📌 - @always-keep-writing

He shouldn’t be surprised that it ends up being a story.

230 words

A Long Forty Years - @babybluecas

Sometimes, he’d wish he was so much older.

352 words

Control 📌 - @idreamofhazel

If only Dean knew the other, more biting things he holds under his tongue.

370 words

His Hair 📌 🚢 - @gabrielfallstonight

He often wondered if, by spending as much time on Earth as he did, he was growing almost human.

427 words

Topper - @alleiradayne

Coffee. He just needed a cup. Or four. Okay, maybe the whole pot.

483 words

Tedium 📌 - @smi727

This situation was something Michael simply could not abide.

555 words

Kids These Days 📌 - @revwinchester

A little behind-the-scenes interlude wherein Dean has an interaction with some kids in town. In medias res, OCs developed in a short amount of space, thoughtful/nice message without being preachy.

560 words

Four Months Expired (But Still Good) 📌 🚢 - @bendingsignpost

A delightful scene based on a premise that could've gone saccharine but stays the just right amount of sweet and humorous.

(I cannot tag this lovely, if someone would be so kind as to try to do so in the comments, it would be appreciated!)

570 words

Black 📌 - @sculptorofbeginningslibrary

An introspective look at Dean in the time between waking up with his demonized soul and when he left the bunker; doesn't merely recap what we know; nice take on the physical changes; excellent characterization.

633 words

Smoked - @ameliacareful

A snicker-worthy tale of what should be an ordinary shopping trip, but as we know nothing can ever be simple for the brothers; well-structured, solid characterization, concise descriptions that put you right there with them.

(I cannot tag this lovely, if someone would be so kind as to try to do so in the comments, it would be appreciated!)

664 words

Last Night - @atwistoffate

A brief interaction between you and Dean that is a perfect balance of snarky and cute, and (thank Chuck) Dean is portrayed realistically, and I personally salute the writer for not uttering a single Y/N or sweetheart (it can be done, folks). I'd also be remiss not to highlight this beauty: “You know what? I don’t even care,” Dean says, caring deeply.

714 words

Stay - @there-must-be-a-lock

Absolutely beautiful moment between you and Sam that doesn't get weighed down by over-dramatic pining, in part thanks to a sandwich. In medias res; descriptions that paint the picture without diving too deep; lovely from beginning to end.

812 words

Carolina 📌 - @atc74

A first-person, introspective tale of an interaction Dean has with a stranger. In medias res; sets the stage from the opening paragraph, putting you right into Dean's shoes; well-developed OC in short amount of time; great closing lines.

841 words

Strange Gifts 📌 - @lastactiontricia

Michael gives you the "gift" of knowing your potential fates. In medias res; great structure/descriptions that convey the mood without being belabored; clutch open-ended ending.

1.1K words

Syruped and Feathered 📌 - @mrswhozeewhatsis

A snicker-worthy on-the-hunt tale where you and the Winchesters get in a... well... a sticky situation. Ahem. Sorry, couldn't resist. Oh, and there's a surprise guest star that'll make you grin. In medias res, nice flow, creative use of prompts.

1.2K words

Don't Panic 📌 - @koedeza

Beautifully written, somber tale about what eventually happens in the lives of hunters. In medias res, excellent structure/flow, fantastic characterization, clutch ending. Keep an eye out for this writer - they are consistently solid and do not disappoint.

1.3K words

'Til It All Falls Apart 📌 - @lipstickandwhiskey

Angst done right in this story about what Dean might've gone through after Michael was cast out. Good flow, no laborious explanations of what we already know, reasonable actions/reactions from all.

1.4K words

Bite Me, BitFit 📌 - @shy-violet-soul

Exactly what you think from the title - a funny story about Dean's battle with healthy living. In medias res, nice structure, great characterization, several killer lines.

1.4K words

Eggshells 📌 - @hunenka

A coda to Nightmare Logic, this tackles Dean's internal processing of life as he now knows it, Sam in charge and what feels like a million people in his home. Beautifully written, Dean is as accurate as it gets, excellent flow, plausible scenario.

1.7K words

Told You So - @there-must-be-a-lock

How to do hot and sultry without smut - read and learn. This is a story about what should have been just an ordinary post-hunt night back at the bunker, when it turned to something more. Great opening paragraph, easy flow, trifecta of snarky-sweet-sexy.

1.8K words

Brother 📌 - @sixtysevenandwhiskey

An exquisite look - to use the writer's words - at Dean over the years, through Sam's eyes. Excellent structure/verbiage, no unneeded repetition of things we already know, good use of song inspo, plausible within canon, feels genuine throughout.

1.8K words

The Lie 📌 - @sophisticated-angel

Stunning tale (and add this to the pile of "Why the hell doesn't this have more notes?!" stories) about what happens to those who are left behind after a loved one dies - but as always in the Winchester world, nothing can ever be routine. In medias res, creative plotline, moving and heart-grabbing that leaves you with both a sense of rightness and a sense of unease.

2.9K words

The Unexpected Guest - @crispychrissy

Per the writer's summary - "A day of researching takes a turn when you see something from your past that leads to some interesting discoveries." But, wait - this is so much more. Pay attention as you read, because the writer has left you clues along the way (starting with the title), and it's done quite deftly. In addition - nice blending of humor and drama, time taken to research the creature featured clearly evident, clutch ending.

3K words

Easier To Be Me 📌 - @alleiradayne

A Sam + Reader story labelled "floof" by the writer, but it's sweet without bending saccharine; in medias res; great opening/closing lines.

[Nominated by @atc74 who said - “So I have read a couple things of hers, this I read a while ago, but it deserves some love, because it is just that good. Hope you like it This was so wonderful. Well written and beautiful."]

3.1K words

Teeth 📌 - @lastactiontricia

Do you want to read something spooky that’s based on a true story, with a fantastic plot that has roots in a true story, which features well-developed characterization/accuracy in characterization, and is - in case I didn’t mention it - based on a true story?!

Read this. Find you a cozy corner, grab the drink of your choice whether it’s bourbon or hot chocolate, wrap up in a blanket, and Read. The. Story. It is unique, it is well-written, quality top to bottom, and it’ll give you the feels, tips to toes. Stop wasting your time on the same ol’, same ol’.

READ THE STORY

(Part of a collection, all are fantastic, so see also: Halloween Horror SPN One Shots Masterlist)

3.3K words

Lay Me Down 📌 - @stusbunker

A solid case fic here that balances itself with some cheekiness thrown in amongst the drama (and a bonus for me, not a "Y/N" in sight - it can be done, folks). In medias res, moves at a quick clip, great line here: "The spell spread quickly, like spilled water on a tabletop..."

4.9K words

Shadow's Edge 📌 - @saenalife

A story of what happened one night when a routine retrieval of an item goes sideways. In medias res, excellent opening line/paragraph that perfectly sets the scene/mood (I mean - "Dark seems like too shallow a word for this. It goes beyond the absence of light - more like the light has never existed here at all..." - hello), creative plot, great structure (specifically: flashback/forward done right), and bonus kudos for switching things up with a feature not seen with regularity, that of a gender neutral lead.

5.6K words

The Wonders of Modern Technology ⚠️ - @littlegreenplasticsoldier

If you aren’t familiar with Greenie, she’s another one of those rare writers ‘round these parts who gives us consistently solid stories with a unique style that’s all her own, and this one is no exception, a humorous tale of a piece of equipment that doesn’t exactly malfunction, but we’ll just say there’s, ah, user error [wink].

5.7K words

Like Ocean in the Desert 📌⚠️ - @saenalife

Borrowing the writer's summary - "Baby needs some work before Dean can get back on the road. He went to the salvage yard for parts, but what he found was a human connection." In medias res, well-developed OC, nice premise, great structure/flow.

[Nominated by @littlegreenplasticsoldier who said - "Here’s a prime example of notes misaligning with quality. Pfft. Criminal. This is the third time I’ve read this."]

6.4K words

The First Bite 📌 - @shy-violet-soul

A story from the way-back-when, and as for feedback, I’ll let the curator take it away....

[Nom'd by @mrswhozeewhatsis who said - "Confession: I love Weechesters. So, this fic was already up my alley from word one. Add in pie mentioned just in the author’s note, and I was already a happy camper! Imagine my surprise when I was sniffling halfway through because wee!Dean was just killing me! The OCs are very well fleshed out, without being distracting, and the whole story was just so well-written I finished it just wanting to hug everyone. The grammar and other technical stuff was at least flawless enough that I didn’t notice it, and the whole story just unfolded in front of me like a cootie-catcher. I think I’m in love, and I might go read it again, even though I should be writing. *swoon*"]

6.8K words

Gutted - @idreamofhazel

A case fic with some Dean + Reader sweet-n'-sultry on top. Nice opening paragraph that sets the tone, solid characterization, very creative plot/creature featured, excellent structure.

6.9K words

About Dean's Dreams ⚠️ - @fanforfanatic

This writer has yet to disappoint - and this story is damn near pristine from start to finish. It’s an actual, on god, Dean-in-character dive into the woman of his dreams. Sound fluffy or angsty? Nope. You’re wrong. It isn’t either. What it is, is just right. I’m not telling you any more - when you next have time to sit and read and really absorb an introspective Dean piece, make this your first choice.

Say hello to a new (-ish!) writer, @salt-n-burn-em-all !

Doors 📌

You will not believe this is just her 2nd SPN fanfic - captivating and moving, and even if you're swiping a tear away, I think you'll find yourself with a smile at the last three words.

East of Nowhere ⚠️ - @thecleverdame

You and Sam are strangers trapped in a desolate mountain town where you live alone, isolated from the outside world, for five years.

Very creative scenario that takes you on an intimate journey and - most importantly - has quite the satisfying reveal.

How You and I Will Be - @katehuntington

When a hellhound case in the mountains goes sideways, Dean and you find yourselves trapped in a small cabin, miles from civilization. Rescue is on its way, but will it be in time?

Opening paragraph sets the scene perfectly, you'll find yourself there immediately, and it's a plausible scenario of a hunt gone wrong. (We do love our case fics here at The Nail!)

If This Is A Dream 🚢 - @wendibird

Sam receives a tip about a restless spirit haunting a particular patch of woods in South Carolina - one who has asked for him by name. He must now deal with the thought of putting to rest someone he once cared for, but will things go that simply?

Phenomenal opening line/paragraph that puts you in Sam's headspace from the jump, and boy howdy can we all empathize with him, and it's a plausible scenario, one I personally haven't seen tackled til this.

Men of Cold Cases - @smi727

Sam had uncovered hundreds upon hundreds of cases the Men of Letters had never closed, [and the] idea was to investigate what those stodgy old nerds never got around to. Given the cases were at least 60 years old, the chances that any were still active were slim to none. They should all be milk runs…

Fantastic concept, completely original, and well-written to boot. Bonus? The writer has based the plots on actual cold cases and mysteries, and provides you links to the stories behind the story so you can learn more.

The Ellison Lane Legacy - @sixtysevenandwhiskey

Sam finds a case. You’re reminded of a past you want to forget.

Cheers for a well-rounded original female character who is tough and vulnerable all at once. Interesting and creative story that's heavy, yes, but thanks to skilled writing the flow keeps it moving vs. getting mired down.

Wrath 📌 - @waywardjoy

Shakespeare gets a run for his money here with a small fic inspired by some of his words. Beautifully composed, from the title to the usage of the lines, flows like a dream, evokes big emotion, and puts you right there in the action, breathtaking from start to finish.

The Runaway Vessel 📌 - @butiaintgonnaloveem

A creepy re-working of a popular children's story that will stay with you after you read it. Killer first line, clutch ending, and a detailed, stunning piece of artwork to boot from @lostmymuseagain, what a match made in heaven. This one dug deep, and definitely read like a cautionary fairytale about fate and choices that grandparents would tell/read to the children on a dark night around the fire, give ‘em a bit of a chill in spite of it.

Ring-A-Ling - @winchester-writes & @littlegreenplasticsoldier & @mrswhozeewhatsis

To think, it all started with an innocent post about a tiny bell - get ready to laugh.

Ten Years Gone - @cinnamonanddean

This is a short-and-sweet, most worthy exception to a The Nail rule that no RPF will be on the list, wherein Jensen reflects upon his time on the show.

Carriers - @violetwolfraven

Daddy Loves To Be Murdered - @gabesnonnie

Slay Ride - @bendingsignpost

The Awakening - @rmeisel

The Chosen One - @copperbadge

The Night - @later0varies

Bedtime Stories & How Chad Got His Name - @lostmymuseagain (also see the artwork related to the Chad story here)

The Author - @thebibliosphere

Notes from Nash

The document with my little summaries and personalized feedback for each of these got eaten - basically, I had to re-do the list and time’s been scarce, so forgive me for the lateness.

Also, there was a good handful of stories that disappeared due to what I presume was the purge/people deleting or losing their blogs. I did make effort to check AO3 but I’m afraid some stellar work has been lost for good.

There were a lot of repeat writers and folks I’m friendly with in this edition, more than I typically feature - I strive to highlight mostly lesser known writers and, as noted, mostly fics with <100 notes - but they earned it (and I even chucked a few more from some of these peeps into the folder for the next edition, that’s how hard they’re rockin’ it). That’s why it’s so important y’all let me know about the unsung writers and their undiscovered jewels - submit the story links and your reviews to me (links to your reblogs with your comments is perfectly fine) any ol’ time.

That’s it! What’re you waiting for??? Get to reading!

#The Nail #Supernatural Fanfiction #SPN Fanfic #and more #Nailed It!#Quality Writing #Must Reads #Fic Recs #Queueby Dooby Doo #Dad's on a blog post and #he hasn't been queued in a few days

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magnoliarps · 4 years

Text

exposing gleeunionhq

Hi! Hi! Before you read any of this I just want to confirm that I’m not a rpt blog or anything and I personally don’t enjoy spreading negativity into the rpc because at the end of the day we’re all on here on our computers playing characters in rps and we should just have fun instead of tearing each other apart which is why I’m not tagging anyone from that rp or revealing names, I just included the rp name so people know they should be wary before applying and it’s why I’m not including members names in the post because I don’t think they deserve to be blacklisted for being a part of the rp (even if they were the ones who caused some of this)

I’d also like to say I don’t have screenshots to prove each and every single thing I bring up and you’ll just have to take my word for it (because it’d be pretty absurd to make this up) but some screenshots have been included since I did screenshot some things before I left the groupchat (and i didn’t think to screenshot everything at the time)

Alright, SO I’m not one to want to “expose” rps. Like what you do is your prerogative but there have been some things come to light in recent weeks that I just can’t ignore and when it involves OOC things I feel like it needs to be discussed? But GLEEUNIONHQ is a glee rp (i know i’m a glee rper sue me) and the glee rpc is kind of known for being shitty so I didn’t even think anyone would care.

So, a little preface is that I ran a decently successful rp back in 2019 and it was @ohiohq. If you were in it and had a bad experience in it, I’m sorry and don’t worry I had an awful experience too and it’s why I decided to close it down because it just wasn’t what I wanted. There was so much going on OOC and IC that it just didn’t seem relevant enough or worth it to keep it open. Now multiple members from this rp (that I thought I was friends with) started up a new rp that had the similar vibe as ohiohq; a glee family secrets rp and that’s no biggie because there were hundreds of them before ohiohq and there’s gonna be hundreds more, but their URL is stolen, from me.

Once again, this was no biggie because it was a short lived rp (that they were in) that I deleted but that was just one minor red flag. Then it was the fact that right off the bat you could pick up 8 characters which is fine if you can handle that many characters but it got to the point that it was just this little group picking up ships for each other, and this group is also notorious for using aliases so there’s a good chance there’s someone in that rp playing like 16 characters (but that’s just speculation) which is totally okay but don’t say you want more members or keep it as a public rp when you’re clearly content with just having yourself and select few members be the main focus of the rp instead of actually wanting to be a welcoming, open rp.

Now onto an anecdote from a former member (like i said i won’t reveal any names or such), I was informed by a mutual friend that this member wouldn’t be comfortable sharing their personal story or screenshots just because it was this bad of an experience but since it semi-included me I felt the need to share it. Basically, this member and I were both playing characters in the same family. Since this was a secrets RP my character’s secret was that she had been kicked out of private school for having sex with a teacher. Now a run down of the secret; the character was 18+ and the storyline was that she wasn’t aware of his profession because it happened over summer but I wanted a reason for her to be kicked out without it being like “she bullied someone” or “burned down a building”. Now with this, a couple more characters came in (both played by the same person) and they both involved [ TW: child pedophilia & rape ] a character being raped as a child and another involving a character sleeping with his mother’s friends since he was a teenager (the character in question now being an adult). Now I personally don’t have issues with these secrets, it wouldn’t be my own personal choice for a character but if that’s the way you want to take your character in, then that’s your choice.

However, this former member had an issue with these secrets (and ultimately chose to leave due to this) because it wasn’t something they were comfortable with. From the best of my knowledge, on their view, they explained their issue with it and they thought the admin was essentially brushing them off. What that member had shared with the admin ended up being shared in another group chat, now I took it upon myself to message that member after because I felt like I was being semi-targeted with my secret as well (since it fit that characteristic) and offered to change the secret. They had informed me they would just rather leave and I respected that decision of course. Now at the time, I was upset because it felt like someone had left because of me and because I felt like something could have been done? Like I said, if that’s a part of your characters then you do you but if people are visually upset and possibly triggered by it, you should at least offer it and these members just got upset because this person wasn’t comfortable with their secrets.

Something else that happened that I thought was weird was they wanted to have under 18 FC’s just because someone wanted to play Jenna Ortega and Olivia Rodrigo? But if you’re going to have mature themes, you shouldn’t allow under 18 FC’s and they tried to justify it if they didn’t “do anything dark with the character” even though I could list five alt FC’s for Jenna & Olivia that are 18+.

Now onto MY personal experience; more or so another member’s but it’s what ultimately led me to leave. This person and I had communicated fairly frequently and even shared our own concerns about the rp and she just eventually went inactive on her accounts because she wasn’t feeling the rp anymore which is totally normal? Or at least most people would consider it normal. Now she had another “friend” who she had plots with. For the sake of not confusing anyone the former member will be referred to as A and the current member will be referred to as B. So, A played two characters which were B’s character’s sister and B’s character’s girlfriend. After A’s characters got reopened, B went ahead and said her character went through a breakup (totally normal), and when A asked for her character back they continued the ex plot but A just still wasn’t feeling the rp and left for good. Now B took it upon herself to take things to the groupchat without naming names but you could clearly tell who she was talking about, it wasn’t secretive at all.

Now I understand being upset about losing a plot, it’s frustrating but to take it to an OOC chat? Say “I dare her to try and talk to me OOC” just made me so uncomfortable and frankly made me feel gross. Especially when A had paid to have gifs made for B since the FC she was using wasn’t a popular FC so to see someone talk about a “friend” that way was just so weird and upsetting and I didn’t want to be a part of that negativity so I left. Here’s the three paragraphs I sent: (you don’t have to read it all but it shows I clearly put thought and care into my message because I did think of everyone has a friend)

Now, this is what I got in response from the main admin:

Obviously this made me so upset because here I made sure not to offend anybody or make someone feel like something was their fault, and I got one sentence in response. But the biggest kicker is, she sent the same message to A word for word:

So, clearly a lot has happened in this rp that has gone unnoticed and I just hope this shines a light on the people in this rp and encouraged them to fix this behavior because it just seems ridiculous to me? But if you’ve had a personal experience with this rp or members feel free to message me and share your experience because with all of this I’m sure there’s a lot of stuff I haven’t seen!

And may I say, please do not direct hate to the main or admins of this rp. Just because they did some shitty things to some members doesn’t mean I think they need to be canceled or bullied for their actions. I just want them to be held accountable as adults and know that this isn’t appropriate behavior. <3

#appless rp #glee rp #rpt #rpc #rph

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eternal-love-song · 5 years

Text

Sunshine Trigger

Kaminari, Bakugo, and Shinso are college roommates. Things get complicated when Kaminari starts pursuing his crush on Uraraka and the three have to deal with their feelings for each other and this girl newly pulled into their lives.

[Kaminari/Shinso/Bakugo/Ochako] [Kaminari/Shinso/Bakugo, Kaminari/Ochako, Bakugo/Ochako, Kaminari/Shinso, Bakugo/Shinso, Shinso/Ochako]

[OT4, Alternate Universe, No Quirks, College AU, Roommates, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationships, Domestic Fluff]

Words: 10,746 Strap in, this is a long one.

"You're blocking my light," Kaminari said as he stared at his plate through the filter on his phone. He was flipping through different filters, though he was fairly certain that he wouldn't be using any of them, a bored expression on his face. The dessert that was on his plate was cute. It was a cake drizzled with strawberry syrup and with graham cracker arranged like a flower bursting from the top of the treat.

"Are you fucking serious?" Bakugo asked as he leaned back in his chair. "Why do you always do this shit?"

"Do you know how disappointed my followers would be if I didn't?" he replied. Usually he would play up his reaction a little more, but he wasn't really feeling it today.

"What he means to say," Shinso added, "Is shut up and let him get paid."

Kaminari looked up from his phone to grin at Shinso. "See, he gets it." He looked back down and took five different pictures of his food, two with filters, and three from different angles, before pushing his plate across the table to Shinso.

"Really? You're not even gonna fucking eat it?" Bakugo groaned.

"Not hungry," Kaminari answered as he looked at the pictures.

"Why did you even come here if you weren't going to eat?" Bakugo growled. "I had better things to do."

"You didn't have to come," Shinso pointed out before shoving the spoon into his mouth. "No one made you."

Bakugo folded his arms and leaned back in his seat, opting to ignore them as he grumbled angrily under his breath.

Kaminari went back to his phone, posting the best pictures on a few social media sites with appropriate emojis and tags. He checked one site in particular, refreshing the page five different times and scouring the new post before he looked up and around again. His eyes scanned the faces around him slowly as he tried to look as unobtrusively as possible.

"Seriously, what the fuck are we doing here?" Bakugo asked.

"Well, I happen to be enjoying this dessert right now," Shinso answered, smirking when his response earned a growl from Bakugo. "Kaminari, on the other hand, is busy trying to stalk his new crush."

"Hey!" Kaminari objected, sitting forward. "It's not stalking!"

"You're waiting for a girl that you've never talked to that doesn't know you exist," Shinso said. He pointed his spoon at Kaminari as he added, "Stalking."

Kaminari sank into his seat. His cheeks turned red. "That's not..."

"What the fuck?" Bakugo asked as he turned toward Kaminari.

"No! Listen," Kaminari insisted, leaning toward Bakugo. "There's a girl in my class, I'm not stalking her! She mentioned that she had a food blog and when I checked her out, she said that she was planning to come here this weekend. I was hoping that I might run into her and maybe we could... talk?" He rubbed the back of his head and looked away from Bakugo's harsh stare.

"You're pathetic."

"We can't all be as confident as you," he murmured.

"Don't mind him," Shinso said. "He's just disappointed that this isn't a date."

Bakugo's eyes widened as he looked at Shinso. "What? Shut your fucking mouth, Shin! I'll kill you!" he yelled as Shinso snickered.

Kaminari stopped listening as the person he was hoping to see walked in through the doors. He stood up as he waved. "Hey, Uraraka!"

She turned towards him, smiling when her eyes actually landed on her. She came over to him quickly. "Hey! You're.... Kaminari, right?"

"Yeah. What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I wanted to check this place out for my blog," she told him. "I've heard good things about them. What about you?"

Kaminari ducked his head and shuffled nervously. "Actually," he lowered his voice, "I was going to hang out with my friends but I think I'm being a third wheel."

"The fu--" Bakugo began, but Shinso interrupted him by shoving a piece of the graham cracker flower into his mouth.

Uraraka looked over his shoulder at them, blushing lightly as she averted her gaze. "Oh... Um, if you want, you could join me."

He perked up immediately. "Really? You don't mind?"

She shook her head. "Not at all. The more the merrier."

Kaminari smiled widely. He turned back to his table as he said, "Hey, I'm gonna go eat with my classmate, will you guys be good without me?"

"We'll be fine," Shinso said. He waved them both away with a lazy grin. "Have fun you two."

The two of them walked away as Bakugo glared at Shinso. "I fucking hate you."

The sound of camera shutters echoed each other as Kaminari and Uraraka both took pictures of their food. She looked up at Kaminari in surprise, meeting his eyes unexpectedly. "Oh, you do it too?" she asked.

"Yeah... I mean, why not, right?" He shrugged. "It gives people something to talk about."

"We should follow each other," she said cheerfully.

"Yeah, sure!"

They exchanged sites and handles, scrolling through media feeds as they dug into their food. He'd already seen her food blog, which was filled with pictures of food and reviews and anecdotal stories of her excursions to try certain things. Her personal account had more pictures of her and her friends, selfies, and a few text posts that he told himself he'd read later.

"Hey! I didn't know you were in a band," she said. She turned her phone toward him, displaying the picture she'd found of Kaminari, Shinso, and Bakugo with all of their instruments. "What's it called?"

"Brain Blast," he told her. "I play guitar, Bakugo is on drums," he explained as he pointed, "And Shinso plays bass, or keyboard, or sings. We're still trying things out."

"That's so cool. I'd love to hear you play sometime."

"Sure! I'll let you know the next time we practice," he told her. "Here, I have a separate account for our band. It's shared between Shinso and I."

She immediately followed the new account, scrolling through posts and pictures before pausing on one in particular. It was a picture of Bakugo, mostly from the waist down, and she could only tell because Kaminari's head was sleeping on the table in the background and Shinso was sticking his tongue out in the corner of the camera. Bakugo was ripped, way more than she'd expected at a glance, and she felt her face going red. The caption read, 'look what I have to deal with in the morning.'

Uraraka put her phone down and focused her attention on her food.

"You okay?" Kaminari asked her.

"I-I'm fine!" she squeaked, before shoving food into her mouth and almost immediately choking on it in her haste.

"Whoa!" Kaminari moved to her side to rub her back, handing her a glass of water. "Careful there!"

She accepted the water, sipping slowly lest she make herself choke again. "Man, that was so uncool," she murmured.

Kaminari smiled kindly at her. "I already thought you were cool," he told her.

"Are you kidding?" she asked. "You're the one with a band."

He laughed. It was a nice laugh and she felt warmer inside as she listened to it. "Nah, they're the cool ones," he admitted. "I'm just there to fill space."

"You fill it well," she said without thinking. She blushed. So did he. Uraraka suddenly noticed how close they were. He hadn't moved back to his seat after handing her her water and his arm was on the back of her chair. They met each others eyes, feeling the pull between them yet frozen with indecision.

"Everything alright here?" They both jumped at the sudden appearance of the waiter. Kaminari moved away from her, sliding awkwardly back into his seat.

He cleared his throat. "We-we're fine," he said.

"As you say." The waiter moved away.

They both let out a breath of relief before smiling at each other.

They had both exchanged numbers by the time Kaminari returned to his band mates’ table. Shinso had ordered another dessert and Bakugo was glaring into a cup of coffee. Kaminari smiled brightly when he sat down with them.

"You look pleased with yourself," Shinso said around his spoon.

"She's so cool!" Kaminari gushed immediately. "She was so funny and cute and she wants to come to band practice and--"

"Glad that your deception worked out for you," Shinso said. "Now you can add stalking and lying to list of romantic moves."

"Who says I was lying?" Kaminari asked, looking at Bakugo. "Maybe I was just reading the atmosphere."

Bakugo's eyes raised, meeting Kaminari's immediately. "Well you read it wrong, idiot." He pushed his chair back and stood, tossing some money on the table. "I'll see you two later," he said as he walked off.

Shinso and Kaminari both stared after him.

"What's wrong with him?" Kaminari asked.

Shinso rested his face in hand. "Nothing. Ignore him." Despite saying that, Shinso kept his eyes on Bakugo's retreating form until it could no longer be seen.

Kaminari was pretty sure he hadn't stopped smiling all week. In between classes he'd been playing a game of social media tag with Uraraka, replying to messages on different sites and trying to keep up with five different conversations, not to mention the occasional texting they were doing. He was laying out on the couch, holding his phone on above his head as he typed his messages before Bakugo stole his phone out of his hands.

"Hey!" Kaminari objected immediately as he sat up.

"Stop fooling around and start studying," Bakugo commanded.

Shinso was sitting on the floor across from him, chewing on the end of his pencil with three different books open before him. He was watching the two of them with heavy, tired eyes, rather than looking at any of the books before him.

Kaminari pouted, putting his head in his hands as he asked Shinso, "What are you working on?"

Shinso's eyes glanced down to the books in front on him. "I'm not even sure anymore. One of these was math, maybe... I've been staring at these for so long I'm not sure I haven't turned into a text book myself."

Bakugo pushed Shinso over with his foot, meeting with surprisingly little resistance. "Go the fuck to sleep. You've been studying all night."

"You're not the boss of me," Shinso replied without moving from his uncomfortable looking slump.

"I don't have all day, blondie!" Bakugo yelled.

Kaminari jumped to his feet immediately, before asking, "What? What I do?"

Bakugo pointed to the table where there was an open text book and a note book. He sat across the open place, glaring at Kaminari until he slowly came over. He eased into his seat cautiously, eyes reluctantly going to the notebook. He was surprised to see that it was Bakugo's handwriting in the notebook and looked up at him questioningly.

"You take shit notes," Bakugo told him.

Kaminari smiled softly as he looked back down at his study aides. "Thanks, Bakugo."

Bakugo's only reply was a dismissive grunt as he kept his eyes glued to his own text book.

Ten minutes into studying, they could hear Shinso's soft snoring from where he's fallen asleep on the floor. Five minutes after that, Bakugo got up and draped a blanket over him, pretending that he's gotten up to get a bottle of water. Kaminari knew it was a pretense when it ended up on his side of the table a few minutes later.

'The idiot can't talk anymore. He has to study.'

Uraraka stared at the strange text message for a few minutes, trying to decide how she should reply. She and Kaminari hadn't been texting anything particularly private, but it was still a little startling to think that someone else could potentially read their private conversation. She chewed her lip as she thought before finally settling on asking, 'Who is this?'

'His roommate.'

'Which one?' she questioned before she could think better of it. It didn't really matter which one it was, since she didn't know much about either of them. Well, outside of what she'd gathered from looking at the post on their band blog. Somehow, in the rush of everything else they had talked about, it really hadn't come up.

'The fuck does it matter?'

The grumpy one, then. Uraraka scrambled to remember what she knew of him, but all she could think of was that picture she'd seen on their band blog, with him shirtless and center stage. Her face flushed bright red and she held her phone to her chest as if to keep it from seeing.

"Talking to your boyfriend again?" Her roommate, Mina, asked as she plopped down on the couch beside her.

"No! He's not my boyfriend!" she objected immediately. "We're just talking."

"And what are you talking about?" Mina asked, moving closer.

Uraraka held her phone closer to her chest as she leaned away from her friend. "Don't be so nosy, Mina."

"This is my only joy," she said dramatically.

She stuck her tongue out at her as she moved off the couch. "Go bother Jirou," she said as she rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

"Meanie!" Mina yelled after her.

Without thinking, she unlocked her phone and sent a message to Kaminari. 'My roommate is so nosy. She hasn't stopped bothering me since she saw me texting you.'

'Just tell her to fuck off,' was the reply that came not a minute later.

'I can't do that!' she answered quickly. 'That would be so mean.'

'Fine, give her the phone, I'll do it.'

'What?'

Not a minute after she sent that message, the phone rang. It was so unexpected that she almost dropped her phone and her heartbeat got twice as fast when she accidentally answered and then scrambled to hold the phone to her face. "Ye-yes!" she said stiffly.

"Put her on the phone," the voice said immediately. Uraraka felt like a bucket of water had been dropped on her. She had completely forgotten, due to Mina's interlude, that she was talking to Kaminari's roommate. That was embarrassing.

"I told you, I can't do that," she insisted. Her heartbeat was slowing down now that she knew she was talking to a stranger. "It would be rude to--"

"She's the one being rude. Are you gonna let her walk all over you?"

"Well, no, of course not," she sighed.

"Then what are you gonna do about it?" he demanded. "If you keep being polite, she'll think it's okay to do whatever she wants."

"Maybe you're right, but still..."

"Still, nothing!"

She heard a shuffling in the background, followed by Kaminari's voice asking, "Bakugo? What are you doing?"

The reply was slightly muffled and she had to assume that he covered the phone with his hand. "Shut up, I'm on the phone."

"Isn't that mi--"

"I said shut it!"

Uraraka couldn't help it, she found herself giggling helplessly at the absurdity of the exchange.

"What's so funny?" he demanded.

"Nothing, nothing," she told him. "Your name is Bakugo, right? It's nice to meet you."

Shinso leaned on the edges of his keyboard as Uraraka applauded loudly. Bakugo slammed down his drum sticks before reaching for a bottle of water and Kaminari grinned madly at her. "So you liked it?"

"You guys sounded great!" she cheered.

"Do you mean it or are you just placating us?" Shinso asked. "It's okay to hurt Kaminari's feelings."

"Hey!"

Uraraka laughed as she picked up two more bottles of water and handed them to Shinso and Kaminari. "No, I really mean it! I liked it. Your lyrics are really good, Shin."

Shinso paused where he's lifted the bottle to his lips. "Shin, huh?" he asked before continuing to drink.

She blushed but before she could say anything, Kaminari was already adding excitedly, "Right? I keep telling him he's really good."

"I still think you would make a better lead," Shinso told him. "You've got the looks for it."

"Maybe," he said uncertainly. "But you're better for the tone we're going for."

"We could go for a different tone."

Bakugo threw one of his drum sticks at Kaminari's head, making him flinch and cover the spot with his hands. "Shut up," he told them. "We'll run through each song twice and you can both have a turn."

"That's a good idea," Uraraka said. "Mind if I record you guys?"

"For personal use or for profit?" Shinso questioned wryly.

"Profit is personal," she told him solemnly.

He snickered. "Go ahead. Just send me the footage later so I can put it on our site."

"I'll need your number, first."

"Kaminari will give it to you."

It wasn't until later that she realized that she could have just sent the footage to Kaminari.

Twin flashes went off as Kaminari and Uraraka took pictures of their plates. Uraraka's plate was piled high with pasta, while Kaminari had a dessert. She almost couldn't tell what it was other than a pile of chocolate.

"You two are fucking annoying with that shit," Bakugo said grumpily before shoving his own food into his mouth.

Shinso had his head slumped over on the table, but perked up when Kaminari slid his dessert over to him. He sat up and spared a smile for him before shoving the mess of chocolate into his mouth and humming in pleasure.

Uraraka giggled. "Why do you two always do that?" she asked.

All three boys looked at her in confusion, but Kaminari was the one to answer. "Do what?" he asked. Shinso rested his head on his palm, the spoon still hanging out of his mouth, and Kaminari took the opportunity to take a picture of it.

"You always order dessert first, but then you give it to Shinso," she pointed out.

Kaminari shrugged as he put his phone down. "Desserts are the best things to take pictures of and Shinso likes them. When I tried to give them to Bakugo he got mad and accused me of trying to feed him scraps." He rolled his eyes.

Bakugo narrowed his eyes. "You got something to say about it?"

Kaminari put his hands up in surrender and shook his head, but he was smiling too widely for the gesture to look sincere. "Nope. Nothing at all."

Shinso hummed again as he took another bite of the chocolate mass. "She's right. You should eat something."

He nodded in agreement, picking up his fork and sticking it into Uraraka's plate. She squeaked in protest, waving him off, but he stole a noodle before she could stop him, smiling smugly as he shoved it into his mouth. She bent over her plate, using her arms as a barrier to protect her food. "Get your own food!" she told him sternly.

Kaminari laughed. "I was just joking! I'm not gonna steal your food. That's your work plate, right?"

Uraraka flushed a little as she sat up. "Y-yeah..."

"If I took too much, you wouldn't be able to review it properly and then what would your fans think?" He winked at her. He briefly glanced over the menu that he'd kept before handing it to her. "Here, you can pick something that we can share."

Uraraka turned red as she took the menu. "What? But, um, I..." she looked down at her food, at the menu, at his face, seemingly tongue tied as she tried to find a graceful way to decline.

"Don't worry about it," he told her. "This way you'll have more you can review, right? Plus, Bakugo always pays when we eat out on band practice days, so you can order the most expensive thing you want."

Bakugo grunted. "Who says I'm paying for your shitty date?" he grumbled.

Kaminari grinned at him, before turning the smile to Uraraka. He folded his arms on the table and laid his head down. "Try to pick something, okay?"

Her blush brightened, but she tried not to pay it any attention as she scanned the menu.

"Pick another dessert for me, too," Shinso said.

"You're gonna rot your teeth," Bakugo told him.

"Then I'll stick to the soft deserts once I do," Shinso replied immediately. "But until then, I'm going to indulge."

"At least eat some real fucking food."

"What's wrong, Bakugo? Would you like to feed me?" Shinso asked. He leaned across the table and opened his mouth.

Bakugo put a hand on his face and pushed him back in his chair. "Shut the hell up, idiot. Don't make me kill you in public."

Shinso snickered.

"You two are really cute together," Uraraka said. The silence that fell over the table just then was unexpected and she looked around at them in confusion. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing," Kaminari spoke up.

"Bathroom," Bakugo said as he stood abruptly and left.

Shinso put his head back on the table, both him and Kaminari watching as Bakugo stormed off. "We're not actually dating," Shinso told her softly.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" Uraraka apologized frantically. "I thought... because that first time..."

Shinso waved away her concern. "It's really not a big deal."

"Yeah, Bakugo is like this all the time," Kaminari assured her. "He's... pretty much always set to angry. All emotions are filtered through grumpy first. You really don't have to worry. He'll get mad if you make a big deal out of it."

"If you're sure," she reluctantly relented.

The waiter had taken their order by the time Bakugo returned. Kaminari pushed a bright green drink toward him. "I got you a drink."

"The hell is this? Neon in a glass?" Bakugo asked as he eyed the glass warily.

"It's alcohol," Shinso told him. "I'm gonna take a picture of you when you drink it."

"No."

"Just try it, you'll like it!" Kaminari told him.

Bakugo looked skeptical as he picked up the glass, but paused before lifting it to his lips. He glared at Shinso. "I swear to God, if you take a picture of this and post it on that damn hellsite of yours..."

Shinso raised his hands in surrender, leaving his phone on the table. "Fine, I won't do a thing."

Bakugo took a tiny sip from the glass. A light flashed from the opposite side of him. He looked up in surprise to see Uraraka holding her phone up and giggling. "Oops," she said, completely unrepentant.

"I'll kill you, Round Face," he said with utmost seriousness.

"Hey! None of that!" Kaminari insisted. "Not while we're in a restaurant!"

Bakugo narrowed his eyes at her as she stuck out her tongue. "I won't forget, he promised."

The rest of their food arrived. Kaminari had a platter of shrimp and after popping one of them into his mouth, the rest ended up mostly shared between Uraraka and Bakugo. Shinso got a dessert that was mostly hidden beneath piles of fruit and dribbled with strawberry syrup. Kaminari smiled as he rested his head on his folded arms, watching them all.

Bakugo and Uraraka were arguing about his stealing shrimp. Her argument was that it was supposed to be for Kaminari, while Bakugo argued that since he was paying for it, he could take whatever he wanted.

Shinso poked him with the end of his spoon. "You look happy," he said softly. "What's on your mind?"

Kaminari shook his head. "Nothing, just enjoying this."

Shinso placed his spoon in his mouth as he watched the two arguing back and forth. "Yeah, I know what you mean." He pushed his dessert towards Kaminari and wiggled the plate. "At least take a piece of fruit. For me."

Kaminari obediently took a strawberry.

Kaminari held his phone above him, trying to get the perfect angle for his selfie when someone began banging on the door, startling him with the abruptness of the sound and making him lose his grip on the phone. "Hurry the fuck up!" Bakugo yelled.

Kaminari sighed as he unlocked and opened the door. "You ruined my selfie," he said despondently.

"Like you won't just take a million more," he said with an eye roll as he pushed past Kaminari and went to the sink.

Kaminari sat on the edge of the tub, watch Bakugo brush his teeth before the blonde found his eyes in the mirror and glared at him. Kaminari changed focus to his phone, trying to find a new pose, a new angle, for his picture. They all looked terrible and he couldn't decide whether he wanted to focus on his face or his torso, but he felt like all the pictures were crap anyway. His earlier picture had been nearly perfect and he mourned its loss.

At some point Bakugo had turned around to watch him, but Kaminari didn't notice until Bakugo was wiping his mouth off and asked, "Have you lost weight?"

"No," Kaminari answered without thinking.

Bakugo scrutinized him, eyes raking over his shirtless chest, staring at his stomach, examining his arms and legs. Kaminari covered his chest self consciously. "What are you doing? Cut it out," he told him.

Bakugo marched over to him and pulled his arms away, continuing his examination. "You have," he said accusingly.

"So, what about it?" Kaminari asked as he pulled away. The move nearly made him fall into the bathtub, but Bakugo placed his hands on Kaminri's shoulders and held him in place.

"So, you don't need to lose any weight," Bakugo told him. "When was the last time you ate something?"

"What are you, my mom?" he asked. He brushed off Bakugo's touch and stood, walking out of the bathroom. Bakugo caught his arm. "What now?"

"You feeling okay?" Bakugo asked. His voice was calm, worried. It was odd not to have Bakugo yelling or growling for once.

"I'm fine," Kaminari told him. He smiled, though it didn't have the full force of his usual smiles. "You worry too much."

Bakugo let him go, but Kaminari felt his gaze lingering on him as he retreated back down the hall.

Shinso was laying on the couch, looking over Kaminari's shoulder where he sat on the floor scrolling through social media sites. He was kind of bored, and kind of tired, and maybe halfway to falling asleep when Shinso spoke.

"Hey... Are you gonna ask that Uraraka girl out?" Shinso's voice was low, quiet. Kaminari wouldn't have heard it if he'd actually been asleep. He let his head lean back on the couch and tried to look at Shinso over his shoulder with little success.

"It's not like you to ask questions like that, Shin," he replied. "Why? What's up?"

Shinso was quiet for long enough that Kaminari actually sat up and readjusted his position so that he could look at him. There was conflict in his gaze, which turned to surprise when he found that Kaminari was watching him. He looked away, half burying his head in his arms. "You remember what you said...when you went on that first date with her?"

"What did I say?" Kaminari asked without thinking.

Shinso hid himself further in his arms. "You told her that you felt like a third wheel."

His eyes widened as the memory returned to him and he scratched the back of his head nervously. "Oh yeah, I guess I did say that."

"And later, when you came back and I accused you making things up, you said that maybe you were reading the atmosphere..."

Kaminari dropped his hand and looked at Shinso more closely. "Yeah..."

"So, can you?" Shinso asked.

"Huh?"

Shinso lifted his head to look at him. "Read the atmosphere. Can you?"

Kaminari was certainly reading something in this atmosphere, but he was hesitant to attempt parsing it out and naming it. He sat up straighter, eyes never leaving Shinso, though Shinso didn't look back at him. "What should I be reading?"

"Have you noticed how much crankier Bakugo's been?"

He felt himself relaxing at that. He'd been expecting, and was glad to have that expectation dashed, that Shinso was going to talk about something more...immediate. A smile returned to his lips as he leaned on the couch. "Bakugo is always cranky. There's no reason to be concerned about that."

Shinso actually raised his head to meet Kaminari's eyes at that. "Do you really think?"

He sighed, the smile slipping off his face. Kaminari found that he was the one looking away this time. "No, not really. Do you know about it?"

"Yeah. Don't you?"

"Would I ask if I did?" he questioned angrily.

"I think you would," Shinso told him.

Kaminari didn't respond.

Shinso sat up and moved to the floor so that they were at the same level. He stared intensely at the side of Kaminari's head, but Kaminari didn't acknowledge it other than to press his lips together stubbornly. Finally, Shinso said, "He's upset because you're paying all this attention to some girl. A girl that you never mentioned before, at that. You caught him off guard. You know he hates that."

"Why would he care? He hates listening to me talk about shit he doesn't think is important."

"A girl that you were thinking of trying to date counts as important and you know it."

"I didn't know she'd say yes!"

"You know that's not the point," Shinso said fiercely. "And even if it was, you didn't tell me either. You haven't told me anything about her. I see you texting her, and she shows up to watch us practice sometimes, crashes our lunches, and you haven't told me anything." Kaminari still wasn't looking at him and Shinso had apparently gotten sick of it. He made a frustrated sound as he grabbed Kaminari's shoulders and forced him to meet Shinso's eyes. "You know I would care about that. You know that I would listen to you."

"I'm sorry, alright!" he yelled as he pushed Shinso's hands off of him. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to say why."

"I don't know why."

"I think you do know why," Shinso said. "I think you know and that's why you avoid talking about it. You know why Bakugo's upset and you know why you avoid talking to me, but because I haven't said anything, you think you don't have to deal with it, but you do." Shinso lowered his voice as he corrected himself. "You should."

Kaminari pulled his legs up to his chest and pressed his forehead to his knees.

"Bakugo likes you," Shinso said quietly.

"You don't know that," he said immediately.

"Alright, fine," Shinso said. "I like you and you do know that. You've known that for months. I'm not saying that Bakugo and I don't share some of the blame for not saying anything, because we do, but not talking about the fact that you're ignoring this... whatever this is, whatever it could be or could have been, that doesn't make it better. Not talking about her doesn't make it better, it makes it worse."

Kaminari didn't lift his head. He stayed stubbornly curled into a ball until he heard Shinso get up and leave. He ignored the fact that his knees were becoming wet, forcing his lips closed and trying to stay as silent as possible.

It was an hour later that Shinso came back out of his room. It was really only to head to the bathroom and he'd planned on avoiding his roommates fort he rest of the day, but Bakugo passed him in the hall and caught his arm.

"Hey," he said in a low, dangerous voice. It was a rare thing to hear Bakugo so angry without also being loud. "You made him cry."

Shinso had to swallow his guilt at that statement. It hadn't been his intention, but everything he'd said was necessary. They couldn't just ignore everything and let it continue to fester. Kaminari's guilt was obvious and being handled in the worst way possible, and Bakugo spent a lot more time growling and storming out of rooms, and it was starting to get under Shinso's skin. "That wasn't my intention," he said quietly.

"What did you say to him?" Bakugo demanded.

Shinso turned just enough to meet Bakugo's eyes. "What you should have said months ago."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Shinso sighed. "Seriously?" he asked. "I don't want to do this twice. I talked to him about Uraraka."

"Oh."

"And us."

Bakugo didn't say anything to that. He let go of Shinso's arm and turned away. Shinso started to walk back toward his room when Bakugo added, "It doesn't involve you," Bakugo said.

Shinso stopped in his tracks. The expression on his face was some mix of incredulity and angry that he didn't know how to define. "Excuse me? What did you say?"

Bakugo didn't answer, didn't move.

Shinso didn't have the energy to deal with this. "You know what? Fuck this." Shinso continued to his room and slammed the door after him.

The next few days were tense. None of them talked to each other more than necessary. Shinso stayed in his room, Bakugo was quiet and perpetually frowning, and Kaminari just tried to stay away as much as possible. He also wasn't speaking to Uraraka, at least, not directly. He skipped the classes they had together, ignored her texts, but responded to her comments on various sites that they interacted on. It was a bad compromise, ignoring her while not ignoring her, but it was all that he could think of.

"This is fucking stupid!" Bakugo said during one of the rare moments that they were all in the same room.

Kaminari had been sitting at the table, staring at his phone as it vibrated on the table, alerting him to messages that he wouldn't answer.

Shinso was pretending to study and pretending to listen to music at the same time. Bakugo knew that he was pretending, having seen his eyes follow them around the room when either of them moved and the way he reacted to Bakugo's abrupt statement.

Bakugo had been in the kitchen, angrily shuffling around food that he wasn't cooking while he watched the two of them. In fact, of the three of them, only Kaminari hadn't been preoccupied watching the room, and that honestly pissed him off even more. "Just fucking call her already!" he yelled, staring straight at Kaminari, whose eyes were wide like a deer caught in headlights.

"Wha-- I..." Kaminari swallowed thickly, clearly not knowing what to say.

Bakugo stormed over to the table, snatching Kaminari's phone off the table, and scrolling through his contacts. This kicked Kaminari into action as he tried to grab his phone back, but Bakugo was having none of that.

"Wait, no! I'm not ready!"

"Too fucking bad," Bakugo said. "I refuse to watch your dumb ass mope over something that isn't even a problem."

"But Shinso--"

"Who gives a fuck what Shinso said?" he yelled. He could see Shinso thinning his lips out the corner of his eye, but he didn't protest. "Who is this helping?" he asked. "You aren't talking to us! You aren't talking to her! What's the point of that?"

Kaminari flinched like he'd been slapped. Bakugo didn't care. Maybe he needed to be slapped. He'd been upset with Shinso for butting in, but he'd known, even then, that it was the right move. It irritated Bakugo that he was doing the same thing, sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. But fuck it! Uraraka was kind of his friend too, at this point, and if you couldn't give advice to your roommates, then who could you talk to?

"We see you every fucking day, so at least we know what's going on," he continued. "She doesn't know shit! How is that fair to her? You go out of your way to bring yourself to her attention and then you just fucking ignore her?"

Kaminari shrunk into himself, eyes glued to the floor. "I don't know what to say."

"Tell her what's going on," Shinso suggested.

"I don't know what's going on!" Kaminari shouted at them. "I don't know...what to say. I don't know what to think..."

"Alright," Shinso said, shutting the book in his lap and putting his headphones aside. "Then let's figure out what's going on." Both Bakugo and Kaminari turned their attention to him. "Instead of ignoring everything, let's actually talk about this."

Bakugo huffed and looked away.

Kaminari bit his lip in hesitation.

Shinso held out his hand, meeting Kaminari's eyes. "Come over here."

Kaminari hesitated a moment longer before walking across the room to take Shinso's hand. Shinso smiled at him as he wrapped his hand around Kaminari's. He choose not to sit on the couch beside Shinso, instead deciding to take a seat on the floor beside him.

"Isn't this better?" Shinso asked. "Instead of trying to wildly ignore every thing, we can just... deal with it, talk about it, and not jump down each other throats or push each other away."

Kaminari slumped against the back of the couch. "I'm... sorry," he whispered.

Shinso nodded, holding tight to his hand, but didn't say anything. He looked up to meet Bakugo's gaze, which was watching them steadily. He tilted his head in question, but Bakugo just shook his head, choosing not to join them by the couch. He folded his arms and leaned against the wall, letting the space between them fill with silence.

"Who wants to go first?" Shinso asked when no one else did.

"This is stupid," Bakugo said.

"What's stupid?" Shinso asked.

"This... this entire thing is stupid," he insisted. "This whole situation."

"Alright," Shinso said neutrally. "Let's make it less stupid. What do you suggest?"

Bakugo didn't answer. When he lowered his gaze to Kaminari, he was also silent, just shifting his gaze down to look at the floor and squeezing Shinso's hand.

"What do you want?" Shinso asked. "What do either of you want?"

They didn't answer. Shinso knew this conversation would be like pulling teeth. That was probably why they hadn't bothered to have it in the first place. Instead they just danced around each other with Kaminari giving him desserts and Bakugo paying for their lunches and Shinso taking dumb pictures of them. Would they have ever broke out of that holding pattern if Kaminari hadn't decided to make a move on Uraraka?

Shinso sighed. He moved off the couch to sit next to Kaminari. "Let's start small," he told them. "I would like it if we weren't avoiding each other all the time."

"Yeah," Kaminari finally spoke up. "I'd like that. I hate it when we fight."

"We fight all the time," Bakugo said.

"This is different!" he objected. "You know this is different." They lapsed into another short silence. Shinso thought he'd have to be the guiding force in the conversation again, but Kaminari surprised him by continuing his thought. "I like how it was before," he admitted. "I never had to think about this stuff. Leaning against Bakugo or holding Shin's hand or anything like that. It was just... something I could do without it needing to be a big deal."

"You made it a big deal," Bakugo said. "You're the one that decided to change things."

"I know," he admitted quietly.

"And you can't do that anymore. We can't do that," Bakugo continued. "Not thinking about it." He held his hand up, balling it into a tight fist. "I never thought about any of this, but I knew... I hate that you made me think about this and that you made me think of it because you were threatening to take it away. I was... fucking comfortable with you assholes!"

"Must have been a rude awakening for you," Shinso said.

Bakugo glared, but it didn't seem angry. Rather, the anger wasn't really directed at him.

"Sorry," Kaminari said again. "I didn't... I don't know."

Shinso rubbed his thumb over the back of Kaminari's hand, letting his head fall onto the back of the couch. "I kind of expected this," he admitted. "In the beginning. I liked how things were, so I never thought it was going to last. But I didn't think that Bakugo would get so attached. I didn't think he was attached to anything, lest of all this... not until that first day..."

Bakugo turned away from them, his face red.

"Bakugo?" Kaminari called out. He waited until he had Bakugo's gaze before holding out his hand.

Bakugo visibly wavered at the offer, but eventually moved across the room to take Kaminari's hand. He let himself drop face down on the couch. Shinso leaned his head next to Bakugo's.

"What do you want, Shin?" Kaminari questioned.

Shinso sighed, drawing his knees up to his chest. "Any version of this that I can get," he admitted softly.

Uraraka sighed as she placed her head on her desk, staring at her phone. She was constantly switching between sites, refreshing pages, checking forums and messages and comments to no avail.

"He still hasn't messaged you?" Jirou asked from her position on her bed. She had a notebook open on her lap, but Uraraka wasn't sure if she was studying or working on song lyrics. She should really try to introduce her to Shinso and the others, see if they got along with their music talk. If Kaminari ever spoke to her again, that was.

It was true that she had Shinso's number, and he had given her a bare bones update of 'I don't think he ate today, we didn't really talk, but he's alive.' that failed to make her less worried in the slightest.

"No," she answered. "And he didn't come to class either."

"Maybe he's sick?" Jirou suggested.

"Maybe."

She was glad that Mina wasn't here, because she would have have been offering ideas and theories that, while probably good natured, would only increase her worry. She was already plenty worried.

She jumped when her phone finally vibrated and it took her a whole minute to process that she'd gotten a message and to make her body move to answer it. Her heart leapt into her throat when she saw that it was from Kaminari, only to plummet again when she actually read it.

'Sorry that the idiot has been ignoring you. He's been going through something. Also, he's an idiot. Maybe I mentioned.'

Despite herself, the comment made her laugh. It was a weak laugh, but it eased the worry that was held in her chest, if only marginally.

'Why do you have his phone?' she asked. If she wasn't going to be able to talk to Kaminari himself, she could at least try to get answers.

'I took it because he was being an idiot.'

Of course. Uraraka rolled her eyes at that answer. She really should have expected as much from Bakugo. She'd only known him a little while, but he was pretty easy to figure out.

'You use that word a lot.'

'Do I need another word?'

'You could stand to branch out a little.'

'Fuck you!'

There really was an easiness to talking to Bakugo that she wouldn't have expected if it wasn't for that first time he'd texted her on Kaminari's phone. She didn't realize that she was smiling until Jirou spoke again.

"You look better. Did he text you after all?"

She blushed slightly, unsure how to explain herself for a moment before just stuttering out, "Um, yeah..."

She hesitated before typing out her message and hesitated again before sending it. There was nothing wrong with what she was doing and she reminded herself of this before she gathered enough courage to do it.

'You could just send me your number or get mine from his contacts and stopped stealing from him.'

She already had Shinso's number, so it wouldn't be weird. She should calm down. There was no reason for her heart to be beating so fast as she waited for her reply.

She got a message from an unknown number. 'Why would I want to talk to you?'

The amount of relief that flooded her was unreasonable. 'I could ask you that questions, seeing that this is the second time.'

'Fuck off, Round Face.'

"Round Face..." she repeated. She couldn't stop herself from giggling helplessly. She had to admit, Bakugo was pretty good at making her feel better.

Bakugo was at the stove when Kaminari stumbled into the kitchen and went to sit at the table. Shinso was slumped underneath it, making Kaminari assumed that he'd fallen asleep and fell out of his chair. He had a hard time keeping his eyes open and was halfway to falling asleep when Bakugo placed a plate on the table before him. "Here," he said. "I haven't seen you eat in days and I don't like it."

"You watch me eat?" Kaminari asked.

Bakugo just glared. "You'd better finish the whole thing, or I'll kill you." He walked around the table to poke Shinso awake.

"You really do worry too much," Kaminari told him.

"Someone has to." He pulled Shinso upright and then into the chair before giving him a plate as well. "Also, you have a test next week and Uraraka's coming over to help you study."

Kaminari sat up in his seat, dropping his fork. "What? I'm not ready for that!"

"Too bad. You can't avoid her forever and you skipped class anyway, so this is as good of an excuse as any."

"No..." Kaminari groaned, putting his head in his hands. "Wait," he said as he lifted his head to look at Bakugo. "How do you know?"

Bakugo handed Kaminari his phone. "I texted her. We worked it out."

"When did you..." Kaminari hit himself on the forehead. "I never got my phone back yesterday."

Bakugo grinned before digging into his food. "You have until three to get yourself together."

Kaminari groaned loudly.

Bakugo ended up tutoring them both. He wasn't in their class, but Bakugo was smart and Kaminari had asked him for help before. It started with Uraraka explaining things that he'd missed and sharing her notes, but then Kaminari started asking questions that she didn't know the answers to and they both started flipping through the text book trying to find the answers and it broke down from there.

Bakugo was apparently annoyed at having to watch them struggle on something that he considered easy, so he multitasked berating them and actually tutoring them, explaining the concepts to them both and finding the relevant passages in the books.

"Wow, Bakugo! You're really smart," she smiled.

"What? Did you expect different?" he asked.

When Shinso came home, he sat on the couch, using the book on his lap as an excuse to stay in the living room and throw snarky commentary at them. It got the biggest rise out of Bakugo, but occasionally Uraraka would join in or snark back, which only got more of a reaction from Bakugo.

Kaminari for the most part was just amused. Amused and happy and... warm. This was what he was missing when they were all at odds. This was what he'd wanted. More days like this where they just hung out and snarked and studied, more days when she watched them have band practice and they went out for lunch, more days where he and Uraraka took pictures for their blogs and Bakugo criticized and Shinso smiled at him when he passed over his dessert.

There was an idea forming in his mind, but it was too big, too bright, for him to focus on at the moment. He tucked it away for later and tried to focus more on his book.

Kaminari went to Shinso's room later that night. Shinso had already told them what he wanted, so he would be the easiest to talk to. The door was unlocked. It was pretty late, he'd spent a lot of time procrastinating, but Shinso often had insomnia, so Kaminari was pretty sure he'd be awake. Shinso was under the covers, but Kaminari could make out the light of his phone. He hesitated before closing the door softly behind him and slipping into the bed behind Shinso.

Shinso paused for a moment, but continued whatever he was doing on his phone. "Can't sleep?" he questioned softly.

Kaminari moved closer, pressing his forehead into Shinso back tentatively. Shinso's weight shifted slightly to press back against him and he felt himself relax at the easy acceptance. "I wanted to talk," Kaminari told him.

"And you felt better doing it in the dark?" Shinso questioned. Kaminari didn't answer and Shinso didn't press. "That's understandable. What did you want to talk about?"

"You said the other day,"Kaminari began slowly, "That you wanted this. Wanted..."

"All of us, together," Shinso finished. "Whatever that has to mean."

"What if you couldn't have that?" Kaminari asked. "What if you had to choose?"

Shinso sighed. "I wouldn't," he told him. "I said that I wanted whatever version of 'this' that I could have. If I had to choose, that would be something different. It would be easier to just stay friends if that was the case."

Kaminari moved closer, hesitantly wrapping an arm around Shinso’s waist. Shinso leaned into the touch, phone forgotten, leaving them in complete darkness when the screen went off. "What about... Uraraka?"

"What about her?" Shinso questioned. "If you're asking if I'd be against her..." he shrugged and Kaminri felt the movement rather than saw it. "You and Bakugo get along with her really well and I don't mind her."

Kaminari let out a breath in relief.

"That's a conversation you'd have to have on your own, though."

"I know."

"What about you?" Shinso questioned. "If you had to choose between her and us, would you? Could you?"

"I don't think I have," Kaminari answered carefully. "No matter, you guys are still my friends and we're still roommates."

"That's not what I meant." Shinso rolled over in his arms. They still couldn't see each other, but Kaminari could feel Shinso's breath on his face. His heartbeat sped up a little. "Kaminari... are you asking?"

"I don't know," he answered breathlessly. There was electricity running under his skin. "What if Bakugo doesn't want us?"

Shinso brought his hands up to cup Kaminari's face and brought their foreheads together. "You know he does, you're just afraid to ask."

"I don't know if she'll want to," he said.

"You don't," Shinso agreed. "What will you do if she says no?"

"I don't want her to say no," he whispered.

"I know."

Kaminari closed his eyes, placing his hands on top of Shinso's and leaning into the touch. "Shin..."

"Are you asking?" Shinso questioned once more.

Kaminari nodded.

"Then ask me, Kam."

Kaminari took a deep breath and gripped Shinso's hands tighter. Knowing the answer didn't make him feel less nervous. "Hey, Shinso?"

"Yes?"

"Will you...go out with me?"

Shinso laughed as he answered. "Yeah... Yeah I will."

Bakugo was actually easy, compared to how much emotion had been spent already. They had band practice that day, so they ran through their routine like normal. They went their separate ways early for classes and met up for lunch before going to practice. Kaminari was vibrating with nervousness even as he took his usual pictures, so much so that he didn't realize Shinso had ordered for him until he was pushing an ice cream sundae his way and Shinso was pushing a plate in front of him in return.

"Huh? What's this?" Kaminari asked.

"Yours," Shinso told him. "You don't eat when you're nervous. We've all noticed and you're starting to loose weight."

Kaminari's gaze slid toward Bakugo at that. "Yeah, I told him," Bakugo said immediately. "Got a problem with that?"

Kaminari shook his head. He didn't really eat his food at first, just pushed it around with his fork. Bakugo was starting to growl under his breath, clearly irritated. Shinso took that moment to ask, "Hey, Bakugo, wanna date us?"

Bakugo spilled his water. He did not knock over the glass and only a small amount splashed on him. He still glared at Shinso when he replied. "You did that on purpose."

Shinso grinned in response.

"Fucker," Bakugo grumbled. "I guess I don't have a choice. You idiots wouldn't know what to do without me."

"Really?" Kaminari perked up. "You mean it?" He leaned across the table toward him.

"I said yes! Don't get so..." Bakugo folded his arms as he blushed, then unfolded them to push Kaminari back in his seat. "It's not that big a deal."

"It is!" Kaminari insisted. "You really want us?"

Bakugo glared at him for a long moment before he relented and answered. "Fucking yes, alright! I like you two nutcases. For reasons that are far beyond me."

Kaminari lit up. Shinso smiled at the sight. Bakugo tried to busy himself with his meal.

"So how are we gonna do this?" Bakugo asked them as they they were leaving the restaurant.

Kaminari had squeezed himself between the two of them and was talking pictures that Bakugo refused to smile for and Shinso snickered at. He was practically glowing, his smile was so bright. Bakugo didn't want to admit how happy he was to see Kaminari this happy again, but the looks Shinso kept sending him meant that he was probably not as covert about his feelings as he thought he was.

"What do you mean?" Kaminari asked as he began uploading the picture to various sites.

Shinso linked an arm through Kaminari's and guided him away from a few obstacles that he likely would have tripped over. Bakugo tugged on a lock of his hair. "Pay attention, idiot."

"Hmm?" Kaminari looked up, questioning eyes landing on Bakugo.

The fact that Bakugo thought it was cute had nothing to do with Bakugo's reddening face or the fact that he pushed his head back down into his phone. "Nothing! Forget it! Look at your damn phone!"

Shinso laughed even louder.

"Shut up!" Bakugo yelled.

"You're answering your own question," Shinso told him. "This is how it would work. Just like it has been."

Bakugo thought about that for a minute. Thought about band practice, and Shinso's snark, Kaminari's cheer, Bakugo's own tendency to...care... about them, loudly and fiercely and... He supposed he had answered his own question. Except for one thing.

"What about Uraraka?" he asked, voice quiet.

"That," Kaminari spoke up, "Is your decision." He didn't look up from his phone as he answered. "Shin and I talked about this. He doesn't care too much and I really like it, but I..." He clutched his phone tightly in his hands. "I don't want to do anything without talking to you guys again." He looked at Bakugo shyly, face red.

Bakugo placed his hand on Kaminari's head. "Learned your lesson, huh?"

"Trying to," he muttered.

Bakugo stopped them all from moving, leaning closer to Kaminari and catching Shinso's gaze. "If we add her, I want that to be it. No one else. And if she says no, that's it, just us."

Kaminari nodded.

"I agree, of course," Shinso said. "You two are the only assholes I need."

Kaminari smiled at him before looking back to Bakugo, who was still leaning close to him. Kaminari bit his lip for a moment before he asked, "Can I kiss you?"

Bakugo jerked at the questioned, stiffening in surprise. He could feel himself blushing again, could feel Shinso's gaze on him. He looked away as he answered. "Whatever. I'm not gonna stop you."

Kaminari took Bakugo's face in his hands as he moved closer. "Look at me," he whispered. Bakugo did, his blush deepening in response. "Thank you," Kaminari said as he leaned closer and pressed their lips together. He heard the click as Shinso took a picture, causing Kaminari to break the kiss with burst of laughter.

Bakugo growled. "Shin, if you post that anywhere!"

"I won't, I won't," Shinso replied through his own laughter. "This is for me. I want a picture of my favorite people together."

Bakugo put a hand over his face as he grumbled, "What did I get myself into?"

'Hey, I have a question.' Uraraka was surprised when she looked at her phone to find the message was from Bakugo and not Kaminari, who had been texting her like normal since their study session.

'What is it?' she replied.

'You like us, right?'

Uraraka gave her phone a look, but she was well aware that he couldn't see her. 'Huh? What kind of question is that? Of course I do.'

'Wanna date us?'

"What?" Uraraka shrieked loudly, falling out of her chair and dropping her phone in surprise. She was really glad that neither of her roommates were around to see her massive freak out and question her. As it was, Uraraka snatched up her phone and slammed the call button. He answered on the second ring. "What? What What?" she asked loudly.

"You don't have to yell," Bakugo replied. "We can hear you."

"What are you even asking me?" she continued to yell, too caught off guard to moderate her volume.

"Do. You Want. To. Date. Us?" he repeated slowly.

His words finally sank into her mind and she questioned, "Wait, us?"

"You heard me."

"Us?" she repeated. "By us, you mean..."

Bakugo growled impatiently. "Us!" he repeated. "Me, Shin, Kam. Do you want to date us? It's a yes or no question."

Uraraka's head was utterly spinning. She hadn't seen this coming at all. It was true that she got along with them better than she'd expected and she had all of their numbers at this point, but still! Kaminari was... cute, true, and they had a lot in common. Bakugo was grumpy, but secretly really caring and he often made her laugh. Shinso was easy to talk to and fun to snark with. But! She hadn't considered... this!

"Are... are you serious?" she asked faintly.

"Do I sound like I'm joking?" he asked. He didn't. He definitely didn't. But how would that even work? She must have taken to long to answer, since Bakugo added, "If you don't want to, just say so!"

"Give me a minute to think about this!" she yelled back. "You can't just drop a truck on me and expect me to be ready!"

"Why did we let him do this?" She heard Shinso question in the background.

"Give me the phone," Kaminari's muffled voice demanded. There was a shuffling, Bakugo's growling, before she heard Kaminari's voice loud and clear. "Sorry about him. I didn't think he would... I don't know what I was expecting."

"Kaminari," she said, "Was he serious?"

"Yeah. Um..." he paused a moment before he explained. "The guys and I talked some things out and... we like you. Bakugo and I like you. And we like each other. So, Shin and Bakugo and I decided to, um, date each other. And since we like you..." he trailed off.

Uraraka let that sink in. They were dating. The three of them. Dating. They wanted to date her. Three boys wanted to date her.

Well, two, of the three. And how does that work?

"It works however we want it to," Kaminari answered.

"I said that out loud!" she pressed a hand to her mouth, feeling herself blush in embarrassment.

Kaminari laughed. "You did, but that's good. We should talk about this, if we're gonna do it. So you can say whatever you want and ask us whatever you want."

Uraraka leaned again her desk. "Why... why me?" she asked.

Kaminari laughed again, happier this time. "Are you kidding? It's because we like you! You're cute and sweet and fun. Of course we like you."

"I think you're alright, too," Shinso said in the background, making her laugh. That was exactly the kind of response that she expected from him.

"Can I come over to talk about this?" she asked.

"Of course," he told her. She had been trying not to think of things like this, but she already knew how she felt. "Kaminari... Um... yes!" she told him.

"Really?" he asked happily.

"Yeah..."

"She said yes!" he said to the others.

"Not surprised," Shinso responded.

"Good," Bakugo grunted.

"You can come over whenever you feel like, but we can also work things out now if you want," Kaminari told her.

"Um... can I talk to Shinso?" she asked.

"Huh? Uh, sure." Kamimari passed the phone over and she waited anxiously.

"Congrats, you've gotten three new boyfriends," Shinso said immediately.

She blushed. She was so glad her dorm mates weren't around and she wasn't sure how she would possibly explain this to them. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"I figured."

"Are we actually... you and me, I mean?"

"Are we dating? Yes," he answered simply. "It's a package deal. One for all and all for one, as they say. I'm not... as interested in you as they are, but I like you well enough and I won't be... upset about this."

"So about..." she paused, holding her phone tighter and lowering her head, hiding her bright blush from the room at large despite being alone. "K-kissing... and stuff..."

"What about it?" he asked. "Do you want a kiss?"

She made a loud sound in the back of her throat that was between surprise and something dying in her throat. It was really embarrassing and Shinso laughed really hard. "Don't laugh at me!"

"Sorry, sorry," Shinso said. "You're just really cute."

She was increasingly glad that this was a phone call. She really didn't want to see the expression that he was making or have them staring at how embarrassed she was. "Don't tease me."

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but if you think I'm not going to tease you, you should probably back out of this now."

"Don't tell her that!" Kaminari objected in the background.

"It's not like she didn't know that," Shinso replied. "Anyway, all that's up to you. I'm not particularly interested in it right now, but it doesn't mean I never will be. If we want to, we will, and if we don't, we won't. Simple as that."

"It's not simple at all," she grumbled.

"It is if you want it to be," he told her. "You all worry too much. It really is as simple or as complicated as you make it."

"Good thing we have you to keep out heads on straight," Kaminari said.

"Yeah, good thing."

"Good thing you idiots have me around to keep everything else straight," Bakugo said.

"He's feeling neglected," Shinso said.

"Let me talk to him?" Uraraka asked.

Shinso passed the phone over.

"What?" Bakugo asked immediately.

"Bakugo, thank you. For being the one to ask," she told him.

"Whatever. Next time, say yes faster instead of making me wait!" Instead of making him worry, she knew he meant.

"I'm sorry," she told him. "Thanks for being so patient with me."

"Wow! Bakugo knows how to cook?" Uraraka asked cheerfully as she and Kaminari watched him in the kitchen. The two of them were sitting close together on the couch, scrolling through their phones.

"Yeah, he's really good at it!" Kaminari cheered. "I don't know what we'd do without him."

Shinso was sitting on the floor with three books open in front of him and his pencil hanging out the corner of his mouth. "You would keep losing weight and all your photos would start to suck. I would never wake up because you can't make a decent cup of coffee to save my life."

"Hey! My coffee isn't that bad," Kaminari pouted. "And my pictures would never suck."

"Don't worry, I'll get him back on track," Uraraka said. "I'll take him with me when I review things and make him eat some of everything that I try."

"No fair," he grumbled.

"That's what you get for getting into unhealthy eating habits," Bakugo told him. "And if you even try to waste any of my food, I'll shove it down your throat myself."

"Keep your kink out of the kitchen," Shinso said.

"Shut up!" Bakugo yelled.

Uraraka laughed, leaning into Kaminari's side. He smiled as he watched her, as he watched Bakugo and Shinso's back and forth. He was pretty sure he was the happiest that he'd ever been and he owed it all to them.

Read the follow-up, Overcast Trigger, here.

#Kacchako #Bakushin #BakuKami #KamiShin #KamiOcha #BakuKamiShin #Kaminari x Shinso x Bakugo x Ochako #ELS Writing #Fanfiction #My Hero Academia #BNHA #OT3s are my heart #OT4 #ShinOcha #OchaShin

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trender-sollux · 5 years

Text

anti anti discourse megapost

I’m probably not the Best Most Informed person to ask about this stuff but!! here’s the disc horse as I understand it. this is pretty much a tumblr formatted argumentative essay, so buckle up or scroll to the tl;dr as fast as you can.

(I’ll put it under a cut bc 1.) things are gonna get pretty controversial, and 2.) things got Very long Very fast.)

the bg (the intro paragraph)

in fandom, as most people know, people tend to ship characters together. it’s fun to think about what two characters may act like in a relationship, and this gives way for loads of innovative and unique content to be made around ships! communities can be built, friends can be made, and lots of original fan content can be made centered around shipping characters together!

now, everyone has different tastes in ships, whether it be gay straight or somewhere in between, as well as different tastes in dynamics! (take the fave ship dynamics art meme that’s been going around for reference on what that means lmao)

some people may not even like to ship anyone with anyone, choosing instead to focus on lore or more platonic but no less important relationships, which is also just fine!

la problema

there however is copious amounts of people who deem other people’s ships “problematic”.

this in and of itself is not the problem: whether the ship makes them uncomfortable because of:

a large age gap (typically of 10+ years)

one person being a minor and the other an adult

it being an incestuous relationship of any sort (whether by blood or not)

they don’t enjoy the dynamic of the characters (perhaps it’s an unhealthy or simply turbulent relationship)

that is not the problem.

people are allowed to be uncomfortable with pairings! it’s not something they can help! content reminding people of real world issues or trauma are especially touchy, and that’s understandable and completely okay.

people may even be uncomfortable with those that consume that content, whether they have a sound reason or just simply because they don’t like it (they don’t really owe an explanation), and if they should want that content tagged so that they can avoid it, or ask simply that people who like it and post about it not interact with them so that they can further avoid it, that is perfectly okay.

ships can squick people out or even badly trigger them (in the serious mental terminology way not the internet watered down ‘this makes me mad’ way)!

the real problem comes when you have people harassing others for ships they don’t like.

you have loads and loads of call out culture where hundreds of people ridicule targeted shippers for their problematic pairings, calling them pedophiles or incest supporters or whatever buzz word of the day is to make them out to be awful scummy people.

they make call out posts to “expose them”, get people on their side, tell them they shouldn’t enjoy this thing that makes them happy, and in a rather awful amount of cases, send death threats and attempts to dox them/leak their information, things that can ruin actual lives.

all over the enjoyment of fictional pairings.

you can replace “ships” with just “fictional characters” or “stories” and you have anti-fiction discourse, where people harass the fans (or authors/creators!) of specific “problematic” characters or stories the same way they do shippers.

(also, about to get real controversial here, but you could also replace shippers w/ fujoshi/fudanshi and get the same effect. I know that saying fujoshi are gross is the hot new trend, but anti-fujoshi are just as bad as anti-shippers. I’m significantly less qualified to talk on that and I can link some really great posts if you want more info on that mess, but for now I’ll just say I’m pro-fujoshi and go.)

(if you go through the vld ship tags, I guarantee you will run into a lot of this for reference, though tw for death threats and A Lot of them. kl@nce has an infamous anti following, and anti-sh@l@din has a very fervent following as well.)

these people commonly refer to themselves as the broad and catch-all term “anti”. anti-insert ship here, anti-insert character here, anti-insert story here. they are against them, those who create content for them, and those who just sit back and enjoy them.

why that’s bad

at first glance, this seems like a good thing.

after all, people who consume that content must condone it, right? why else would they enjoy it? and if they condone such awful things, they’re awful people and they must deserve whatever happens to them! they’re dangerous! they deserve threats and misery and the loss of their jobs! they don’t deserve to be happy! they don’t deserve to be alive!

this mentality is really why a lot of antis end up being young people with an interest in activism. social activism is a good thing, after all. raising awareness about real problems through a social platform is a good thing.

it also tends to attract young trauma survivors who went through similar experiences as those portrayed in fiction.

not all antis are young/naive. that’s too much of a scapegoat (that they already use themselves too much). there are a lot of adult antis.

however, a lot of anti rhetoric is specifically targeted at minors. some antis will go out of their way to harass adults that make explicit content for other adults, saying that they are predatory for making it because it makes the anti uncomfortable.

I’m not saying I was immune either; for a while I thought that was just.

antis have a tricky way of worming themselves out of responsibility like that, after all. they make the victim out to be deserving of punishment, whatever it may be, whether it be some public humiliation or threats or leasing information that could put them in real actual danger (which is illegal, by the way.)

I never participated in death threats or anything (they made me,, really uncomfortable), but for a while, at very least, the public shaming made sense.

however, this doesn’t actually help trauma survivors. it doesn’t help people that actually go through horrible situations like the ones depicted in fiction. it doesn’t help those who are groomed by pedophiles, or abused by family members, or in abusive relationships.

what it does do is bully and ridicule people for something that inspires them and brings them happiness. people who did nothing wrong.

this is commonly referred to as performative activism.

you take the name of something vile and awful, and use it to say you are doing something for the greater good, a righteous and necessary evil, but really you are doing nothing at all. nothing progressive to help those in need, nothing daring or brave, nothing to make the world a better, kinder place. nothing.

it can be done out of the desire to help, or the desire to make a difference as someone who isn’t sure how, but your intent isn’t the issue on the table. the fact is that anti rhetoric hurts innocent people.

walking through common anti talk points (q&a)

now, I know that there are people who interact w/ my tiny blog who are antis, and actually one of my super tiny follower count is an anti (which I’m a lil sad about bc they have super cool art and a generally positive blog; not to be indirect but I also don’t wanna be like Hey I Don’t Agree With You In Particular. like nah they’re really cool actually and I hope they’re having a chill day), and for you antis reading this, you may be thinking, “sol, I see what you’re saying, but I’m not convinced antis are all that bad!”

well, it’s time for a lil bit of q&a!!

What makes problematic content innocent?

the content itself isn’t hurting anyone.

content, online especially in this day and age , is oftentimes tagged to make sure no one is triggered by the content they want to enjoy. if not tagged, usually descriptions or summaries include warnings. if not in the summary, ratings (like in movies) are also a good indicator of what you should look out for.

let’s say, for example’s sake, someone ends up ignoring the warning and consuming the content anyway, and ends up hurt because of it.

the content is not at fault, the willful ignorance of the person is.

What if they didn’t know to read the warning?

they were still warned. this should be taken as a learning experience, and they should be more careful in the future. it may sound harsh, but not knowing how something works isn’t exactly any excuse. people aren’t exempt from consequences because they didn’t know how something works.

What makes the creators of problematic content innocent?

a lot of people have the misconception that if someone makes content for something, they think it’s okay or would do something like it in real life.

this is not inherently true.

I’m not saying there may be predatory content creators out there, but that definitely does not mean that all content creators that produce things with dark themes always always think that it’s okay in real life.

there is such a thing as exploratory fiction. this is where although you know something is bad and dangerous, you’d like to know more about it and envision scenarios around it from a safe environment. writing or making art won’t leave you with permanent life ruining trauma, but you still get to explore that concept and sate that curiosity.

exploratory fiction can even be used as a coping mechanism for trauma survivors! that’s right!! some of the exact same trauma survivors that antis claim to want to protect and give voices to are some of the people hurt by their rhetoric.

my own traumas and potential anecdotes aside, I don’t really know much about this topic and as such I’ll let other survivors get more in depth/talk more personally if they’d like (as no survivors deals with their trauma the same way), but I know for a fact that exploring something that hurt you badly in the past can be an excellent way for someone to better understand themselves, what they went through, and better cope with what happened.

it may seem like making light of a bad situation, but it’s their trauma to deal with, not anyone else’s. no one can tell them that they’re reacting wrong. if it makes them happy and isn’t inherently hurting anyone, it shouldn’t be taken away from them.

(I’ve seen anti rhetoric directly harm trauma/abuse survivors and for their privacy I won’t name them but don’t come @ me w/ your “But I’m A Trauma Survivor And I’m An Anti” junk. I’m not saying you can’t be a trauma survivor and an anti. I’m simply saying that antis can’t exactly be counted as completely innocent and uwu-unproblematic either.)

What makes the fans/consumers of problematic content innocent?

by reading something or looking at something, did you just hurt somebody?

did you read this book or look at this art and in doing so just ruin someone’s entire life by violating them or some other heinous act?

no. that’s not how anything works ever.

by writing about murder, did someone just take a knife and kill someone? did someone die because they wrote a book? is every murder mystery author actually a murderer?

no. (but that would make an excellent murder mystery novel. an unreliable narrator who is revealed to be the murderer all along lol writing prompt)

by that same token, reading about someone dying doesn’t make you a murderer or as good as one.

people may come to realize things about themselves through fiction, as access to terminology and information may help them develop, but someone can enjoy fiction simply because it makes them happy and they enjoy it.

But consuming problematic content can inspire someone to do something problematic! Fiction affects reality!

taking inspiration from something and putting something into action are two entirely different things.

assuming a person has the presence of mind not to be so susceptible to suggestion that they do everything they see on tv, fictional content on the damn internet shouldn’t be any different.

But what about Jaws? Shark hunting saw a huge spike after its release because people were all afraid of sharks because of it!*

people were already afraid of sharks. people probably already wanted to hunt sharks, dude. what do you think inspired the original movie?

I mean, a huge carnivorous fish with rows and rows of teeth? and it occasionally came up and just took chunks out of people?? it was horror/thriller material just begging to be used.

shark attacks definitely got more publicity because of the success of the movie, but if you think there wasn’t a fear of sharks before Jaws, you’re either super dense or super short sighted.

also, if you think hunters won’t hunt something just because it’s super big and scary, you have never met a hunter. Jaws’ story is not exactly the perfect comparison to the average person minding their business who would never ever consider doing something heinous.

if someone already wants to do something, they will do it whether or not they have fiction to blame for it. they may never consume that fiction and still do it.

they are the screwed up ones, and it is not because they consume screwed up fiction. that is correlation, not causation.

fiction in and of itself does not affect reality. it is the people who use fiction as a scapegoat to weasel themselves out of the consequences for their actions who say it do.

Does that mean that all fiction is exempt from criticism?

hell no. in fact, fuck no.

fiction can still be bad. fiction can be piss poorly written. the characters can be well presented but executed poorly. the designs might be good but they might not make sense. the anatomy might be fuckin wack and the story might not go anywhere. it might just be pure self indulgent nonsense that no one on earth but the creator enjoys.

this does not mean anyone gets the right to completely forget all sense of human decency and make people feel like shit for the things they created.

as a creator, creating stuff is hard. it takes time energy and practice.

some professional artists’ work aren’t really my thing and their work may make me a little uncomfortable to look at, but I’m not all in their comment sections making their days worse. I recognize that they put time and effort into it, and they may not even be too confident about it!!

sometimes the nicest things you can say is absolutely fucking nothing. however, if you have to say something mean, if you have to give those damn two cents, at least recognize that there is a real human being with thoughts and feelings on the other side of your screen, and they’d probably appreciate some manners and maybe some well wishes for the trouble. no sense belittling people when you can uplift them and inspire them to do better instead.

Does this mean you hate antis?

in any other post I would just say yes. I hate their rhetoric and the awful shit they put creators and fans alike through. however, because this post is informative, my precise answer is not technically.

I do not wish harm on antis. I don’t wish death on them. they deserve their privacy as much as anyone, and I won’t harass them though they may harass others.

I think the things that they do is often times abhorrent and I think that their toxicity is largely a contributing factor in how draining fandom culture has become and I hate that. I hate feeling unsafe in spaces meant to be fun and community driven. I hate looking through blogs to make sure I don’t accidentally come into contact with someone who may potentially try to dox me because I read a comic they think is garbage.

however, I don’t think all antis deserve real hatred. some are simply misguided and don’t do this super invasive awful shit. even if they do this awful shit, I still hope they can change for the better and address their issues, apologize even if they can’t/won’t be forgiven, and become happier chiller people who can focus their energy towards better things.

like... I don’t think I hate them as much as I hate who they are right now. despite what another bit of anti rhetoric says, people aren’t static. even if it doesn’t excuse what they’re doing and consequences will find them accordingly, they deserve room to grow. all people deserve room to grow. they aren’t entitled to my forgiveness, nor my time, nor company, but I wish the best for them at the end of the day. I hope this passes for them and they learn better.

and w/ that I think we’re done!

I think that about explains everything I know, and while at the time I’m writing this it is very late and I’ve been staring at this for a few hours now, I don’t think I’ve missed much of anything!

if I’ve missed a talking point you’d like to see explained, have any questions this post doesn’t answer, or have a post that disproves anything I said, my ask box is always open!!

I humbly request that any debate that may happen on this post if any stay polite and sexy. negativity earns yourself a hearty block from me bc it’s my blog and I do what I want. take it to dms if you must but please don’t be all up and rude. this may not be the most polite and neutral post around but I don’t think any argumentative piece is. I am in fact opinionated and I won’t present both sides of the argument as equal when they quite clearly are not, thank you.

tl;dr

antis are harmful to the very people they claim to protect and stand for and can do better things w/ their time like ride a bike or roll in some grass. they can go step on an entire bucket of legos. just plunge their feet in the sharpest of lego bricks. I hope all their library books are dog-eared to death and their internet is slow. I wrote an entire essay on this practically for over 2 hours no breaks. I’m tired. I’m more tired of their shit but I’m tired.

* this was a real and original argument I saw to justify fiction affects reality that I saw while I was scrolling someone’s blog. it sucked bc the rest of their blog was pretty positive and cool and I even wanted to follow them but like,, ya know, yikes. they seemed condescending and close minded and I was outta there.

edit: this is actually being posted bc it’s been brought to my attention that the antis have already taken to “calling me out” (lmao okay jan) so like. this is wildin - I’m by no means an influencer (I have?? 8 followers. I’m not actually famous.) nor have I been super vocal about it thus far but like,, my dudes I am laughing this is exactly what I knew would happen and I still manage to be surprised.

#2ol 2peak2 #discourse #info post #anti anti #anti antis #pro ship #pro shipping #pro shippers #pro fiction #anti censorship #I don't wanna pick any fights #so I won't get all up in unnecessary tags #but like?? yeah #it's real anti anti on main hours

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