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#on the right: you shouldnt stare
drswannbond · 3 months
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my tumblr did a thing
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dhmis-autism · 8 months
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I KEEP GETTING BIG LONG THOUGHT PROVOKING ASKS... WHEN WILL YOU ALL LEARN...
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marsuni · 1 month
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does your doctors ever just drop something on you much later about your meds or your conditions and it explains a lot
#Like my seizure meds can make me dehydrated#I've been on them three years and just kinda chalked up being thirsty to ya know...needing water but nope Keppra can make you dehydrated#Or when I was taking sucrafate for 6 months before a Dr told me I had to take it several hours before eating BC IT PREVENTS UPTAKE#OF ANYTHING INCLUDING MEDS SO I BASICALLY WASNT TAKING MY MEDS FOR MONTHS AND WAS GETTING SICK AND DIDNT KNOW WHY#BC NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME I SHOULDNT TAKE IT WITH OTHER MEDS JUST NOT FOOD??#AND THE DOC DIDNT EVEN TELL ME INTENTIONALLY SHE JUST MENTIONED IT OFF HAND AND I WAS LIKE WAIT WHAT#SHE WAS SO SHOCKED NO ONE TOLD ME AND IT WASNT LISTED ON THE BOTTLE#I'm still mad about it I was getting extra seizures for months for no reason bc of an oversight#Since I got that info I've been taking my meds properly and I haven't had a seizure for almost a year#:)#Remember to ask every question you can think of and ask aggressively#Every interaction with other meds every side effect#You NEED to know you're not being pushy it's your body and health#ASK THINGS OF YOUR DR ITS WHY THEYRE THERE ITS FOR THE BEST#chronic illness#medicine#Medication#Even if you are being pushy it's your right to know everything about why and what they're giving you#I also thought Ativan was a neasua drug for a while bv they always give it to me in the er when I have a cvs episode#But it's for anxiety and they use it to put me out while the actual drugs work and that's okay!!!#But I didn't know so I stared asking for Ativan (and zofran) when I went in and got denied because they thought I was a junkie/on detox#For a med a doctor would otherwise order for my distress bc I didn't know better#Know your meds and know them well it can only help you in the long run#Keeping a list written or digital that you can show doctors also helps so they know how drugs can interact if your an er frequent flyer#Like me
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cat-soap-opera · 1 year
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the first warrior cats fan to have thrown up on the streets for reasons unrelated to alcohol more than once
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isa-ghost · 2 years
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me watching all the jse people flood back to my notes/inbox from the depths of lurking and newbies following me bc of shitposts & hype about the probably-distant future, and then looking at how almost 3 years of tryharding to get dsmp mutuals/friends has gotten me like... 2 acquaintances, even during the most active times in the fandom
man, it really is true that most people cant escape whatever their blog “mained” first huh 🤪
#this is a rant/vent kind of i guess#dont reblog is what im saying#but uh#i mean ive always been multifandom i just hyperfixed on the egos#and im not trying to escape the jse community ofc#actually this post is more like. praising the jsec for being so?? involved and friendly? whereas in my exp the dsmp fandom is.....#prob triple the amount of people than the jsec and yet its fuckin crickets. talking to ppl hasnt made any friends#shitposting does nothing predictions abt lore has done nothing memes do nothing. like. ive been so involved in stuff and nah.#its like that meme where the people at the party are staring at you in mild disgust#and a lot of them prob wont even like you bc the fandom is so opinionated abt dif ccs and interpretations of story and whatnot??#idk how to describe it without sounding like the gross kid bitching that he cant make friends w the ''pretty popular girls'' or smth#but like. the same things i did that got me SO MANY friends in the jsec has done fuckall in the dsmp fandom#like how the fuck do you make friends in there seriously bc nothing has done much even when i keep trying to talk to people#i end up just feeling like im annoying them. basically anyone who likes dsmp whos a friend of mine was/is in the jsec before#shoutout to the jsec for being so welcoming and flooding right back to their fave blogs and stuff when we get crumbs of content abt anything#bc the dsmp fandom has been so distant if not straight up unwelcoming in my exp on literally any platform ive tried making friends on#like shoutout to the 2 or so friends that i Kind Of made in the dsmp fandom without knowing them from the jsec first?? but fuck the dsmpf#tbfh i shouldnt still be salty about not being able to make friends for whatever reason bc most of the fandom seems so toxic anyway but#i cant help but scoff at people who are like Its So Easy To Make Friends In The Dsmp Fandom Just Do Xyz Forehead 🤪🤪#guess what my fucking guy ive done the entire alphabet and its done nothing for very close to 3 years#idk how YOU did it but it didnt work for me and ive prob done the same shit#luck or whatever i guess#anyway tldr im a little more than miffed that i can BREATHE in the jsec and everyone comes back and new people arrive from little to nothing#but try EVERYTHING for 3 years and meet like. 2 people. in the dsmp fandom. who i dont rlly even talk to much#bc i try to and its a 50/50 if that goes anywhere and i end up feeling like im just bugging them or coming off weird somehow even tho i know#im def not being weird or invasive or uncomf or smth#im very careful abt that#so yeah uh shoutout to jsec i love yall undyingly and fuck the dsmpf bc ive tried it all and even the people i HAVE made contact with i--#wouldnt call friends rlly. more like acquaintances if anything and i feel awkward as hell
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egos · 4 months
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I hate Sarajevooo
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yujisgirl · 4 months
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Yuji NSFW Links / Visuals ᥫ᭡
... with short fics <3
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These are real ns//fw links btw! Human bodies etc not animated! Need to be signed into Twitter/X to see these videos ♡
These stories happen in chronological order! ... ! afab reader
Next: Toji + Choso + Gojo + Nanami + Shiu + Sukuna + Higuruma... so stay tuned!
𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 Toji's Visuals: Click Here ❤︎
"Come over to my place after school?"
was all you told your highschool boyfriend, Itadori yuuji. It was supposed to be a little hang out; especially since exams had just been over and you both had missed each other so much.
Needless to say, you guys definitely "caught up" ...
Highschool boyfriend Yuuji!
જ⁀➴
"Does this look good on me?"
You definitely used this mall date as an excuse to rile yuji up even more. He's sure of it. Why else would you be picking the skimpiest swimsuits to "try on" - you're not even part of the swim team!
As soon as you guys left the mall, he grabs your arm and brings you over to an alley, "Need to fuck this hole before we leave"
In public with Yuji
જ⁀➴
"Do you want your present now?"
you said . Yuji tilts his head in confusion, his graduation cap threatening to fall of his pink hair as he raises his wrist, dangling the bracelet you had just gifted him, "Isnt this your present?".
"I have another one you know" You gesture to the Love Motel just down the street.
Your graduation gift to Yuuji
જ⁀➴
"I love you. I love every part of you"
The first time yuji had said "I love you" was when you came to visit him in college. The pain of being away from you only heightened his desires and needs. He needs you, not just in a sexual way but in every part of his life, through and through.
He worships every inch of your body
જ⁀➴
"Lets test our new bed, yeah?"
Maybe it was the adrenaline of finally moving in with yuji, Maybe it was the stress build up from the moving process but as soon as the land lord left your new house you guys were onto each other like animals.
You tested the firmness of every single furniture you bought. The bed, the new sofa, the kitchen counter, the beanbag that you got from Yuji's old house, and of course the balcony.
Testing beds with Yuuji
Testing beds Part 2.
જ⁀➴
"Is this why you wanted to move in together?"
you giggled. "Fuck." Yuji was too pussy drunk to even form a coherent reply, "m'you feel so good. Wanna live in this pussy forever"
Morning's with Yuuji
જ⁀➴
"Im reading right now"
you said.
Yuji pouts.
Shit. Thats your soft spot.
"Fine, you win."
જ⁀➴
"Babe, you really shouldnt wear that around me"
yuji's eyes werent even looking into yours, he was staring right at your boob window.
"Why?" You questioned.
"Makes me wanna suck on your tits" He deadpanned, eyes tracing the curves of your breasts.
"Whats stopping you?"
જ⁀➴
"Good job baby"
was all you said. Really.
How were you supposed to know that it would result in a marathon of rounds with Yuji?
He finally got recognised as a Jujutsu sorcerer by the elders, and you couldnt be more happy for your boyfriend. You expected him to come home with tears in his eyes, or something but no- he came home and went straight to your room, "Baby, I need to fuck you"
Is it his fault that youre all that plagues his mind night and day, and when he experienced emotions in a grand scale, he immediately gets horny?
Maybe you're all he needs
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wolfiesmoon · 4 months
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Ratted out
sometimes friends and family accidentally (or purposefully) reveal things they shouldnt :)
characters featured: Leona, Kalim, Jade, Jack
ufff idk whats wrong with me but i ended up creating an entire (unrelated to this fic) movie plan related to twst this is mentally stable activities, truly
also unrelated but the new event got me SCREAMING how do they look so good😫
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ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Leona Kingscholar
when hanging out with your boyfriend Leona, a little lion boy suddenly jumps him and he immediately lets you go
who is this child???
"Uncle Leona!" the boy clings onto him and you can feel the annoyance eminating from Leona
it's like its own aura thats how annoyed he is🥴
so his nephew (you presume) looks to you all of a sudden and asks "who are you?" with an innocent look on his face
"I'm his lover...?" you said, a little unsure. But when you looked to Leona, he had a look of pure horror on his face...? What is even going on?????
"What?! No way, you're dating Uncle Leona?!" the kid got all excited and ran off somewhere before you could stop him
"...What have you done?" Leona hissed at you through clenched teeth, holding his forehead
you do realise you just revealed that he's dating you to the most big mouthed child in the world, right? that his whole family will know in a matter of minutes, right? that you've basically just invited yourself to every future family gathering at once, right?
and sure enough, in a few minutes he got a surprised text from his brother which he left on read 💀
"Damn brat..." he muttered under his breath, you still confused over what just happened
ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Kalim Al-Asim
let's be real babes there is nothing for his siblings to rat him out on because he immediately told his family he was dating you
however....😈
his siblings happened to overhear a little something...
"Hey, hey." one of Kalim's younger brothers pulled your sleeve, wanting to tell you something
"yes?" you answered absentmindedly, thinking he's going to start talking about a strange thing he saw today or something
"Kalim's gonna marry you." he whispered to you, looking around to make sure no one heard
You laughed a little. "If you think so." you pat his little head
"No, he was like, asking mom if he can marry you soon. We heard it." another one of his brothers joined in after hearing the tea being spilled
"What?! Really?!" you're both extremely surprised and happy and mad at his brothers for ruining the surprise right now
oh well, what's done is done, and now you know Kalim is SERIOUS about you
that gets you thinking about wedding stuff now...🤔
What none of you know tho is that Jamil overheard all of you
"Okay, maybe we need to scrap the whole surprise wedding proposal thing..." he sighs, making a mental note of it and preparing to dissapoint poor Kalim
ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Jade Leech
jade is like... oddly nice to you after you first meet him
you're a little wary of him considering his reputation but he hasn't done anything weird at all so... might as well accept his gifts?
one time he approaches you with jade in tow and you think absolutely nothing of it since they're together like 90% of the time anyways
"Hello there, are you enjoying your lunch?" he just sat down next to you without asking if he can at all 😔
"Uh, yeah, I suppose." you didn't really know what to tell him and it seems he doesnt know how to continue the conversation either so u just kinda... stare at eachother while Floyd casually steals a bit of ur food
"Maaaan, aren't you like, supposed to be crushing on Little Shrimpy or something? Then taaalk about stuff, I'm bored." Floyd looked bored when he saw the two of you didn't start talking about weird stuff
Jade simply smiled at you, telling you to ignore Floyd
But on the inside he was planning approximately 10 ways to... get rid of someone without others noticing
or alternatively, just beating the everloving crap out of his twin brother if the first plan is not a possibility
"Do you have a crush on me?" you wanted to know now...
"That's for you to think about." he smiled oddly eerily, but then just started talking abt something mundane 😥
ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Jack Howl
You're visiting him for the first time because you got curious what his family is like
OF COURSE HE'S AN OLDER BROTHER IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW
his younger siblings immediately ambushed you with their little sniffer noses as soon as you stepped in the house🤔
"Who are you?" they asked, always curious about anyone that Jack brings over
When you told them who you were, they immediately ran away to "TELL MOM" and were literally screaming that the two of you are dating so loudly that the whole neighborhood could hear
You could also hear some woman (who you presume is his mom) laughing from somewhere in the house so uhhh.... atleast she isn't mad about it?
You looked back at Jack who seemed more annoyed than anything
"Aren't you gonna... go stop them?" you asked, raising a brow.
"Nah, I was gonna tell mom I'm dating you anyways. I'm just mad that they beat me to it." he crossed his arms, huffing in annoyance
"Actually, speaking of, isn't me dating you kinda a big deal? You told me before that wolves have one partner for life." you actually got kinda nervous, i mean, you gotta impress his family good now
"It is. But I think everyone's just happy I got someone at all." Jack looked at his overly excited siblings who were still celebrating
"Wow, that's sad." you sassed him 😝
"...I shouldn't have brought you."
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mattsrod · 5 months
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- ; MATTHEW STURNIOLO ; - ' MORNINGS '
✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪
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- ; warnings - smut, sub!matt, a little plot, masturbation, boners, interrupted sex.
- ; 9:05 am
your eyes were still glued shut with sleep as you rolled over in bed, throwing your arm to the right which hit your boyfriend in the stomach, of course.
matt shot awake, clutching his stomach instantaneously. after a few seconds of sputtering out swear words under his breath the said, "new way to wake me up, huh?"
you groaned in response, much too tired to give him a proper answer. the only thing on your mind was going back to sleep, but your boyfriend poking you in your side made that pretty difficult .
"matt, stop." you said curtly, grabbing his hand.
"your the one who woke me up, shouldnt i be mad?" he turned you over so you were facing him, taking a moment to look at all of your features.
"matt i can feel you staring at me." you spoke before opening your eyes. he was already staring into them. fuck. you wanted to be mad at him for not letting you sleep, but you couldn't.
he laughed before sliding his hand under your head, separating you and your soft pillow . you leaned closer to him and he kissed your lips softly.
he pulled away for a moment and you smiled. "come here." you said grabbing his face and brining it to yours, smashing your lips together.
you bit his upper lip and he licked your lower, and soon after his tongue pried your lips apart. he sat you up against the headboard, not separating his lips from yours for a second. he unclasped your bra, taking a tit in his hand.
every second that passed just made the kiss more heated.
your hands slid up and down his body as his tongue explored your mouth. just as your hands made it to his waistband you received a call, to which you ignored.
and then another call came.
and finally a text.
he pulled away, recognizing whoever was trying to reach you probably really needed you, considering the amount of times they had called you.
matt got off of you, letting you recollect and grab your phone.
"fuck." you mumbled
"what?"
"its my best friend. her dog ran away. she wants me to come over and grieve with her. probaly eat ice cream for three hours? i dont know.." you rambled on, shocked at the messages you had just received
"oh shit. you gotta get going then?" he yawned. handing you a previously discarded bra from the night before.
"i guess so." you slipped the bra over your head. "want breakfast before i leave?" you asked him, grabbing a pair of his pajama pants off of the floor and swiftly putting them on.
"i mean, why not?" he got out of the bed slowly ruffling his hair and then standing up.
you walked over to him, giving him a peck on the lips before walking out of the room "meet you downstairs yeah?"
"yeah." he paused, "your not putting a shirt on?" he said loudly, knowing you were far down the hallway by now.
"i mean its just us at home, right?!" you called back.
hearing that he smiled to himself. rushing out of the room and following you down the steps.
- ; time skip - 9:32 am
"matt, im gonna burn the fuckin' eggs if you keep staring at me like that." you shuffled the eggs around in the pan once more before turning around to look at matt, leaning your hands into the counter.
"what am i distracting you?"
"just let me cook your eggs in peace." you smiled.
saying that you turned around, you knew matt wouldn't let you do that.
you felt matts gaze burning into you as you walked over to the fridge to grab orange juice which you set on the counter next to you.
why not take advantage of this?
you opened the freezer and bent down to grab the mini pancakes you knew matt loved.
you arched your back as you stood up and turned around. "you want some of these, babe?" you held up the box of pancakes, waving them in the air.
your boyfriend traced your curves with his eyes. how his pants hung low on your hips, how your bra held your perfect tits.he was getting harder by the second. who gave you permission to do these things to him?
and then, looked up from the floor where he was pretending to stare, blinking and shaking his head before speaking "oh shit- sorry babe what'd ya say?"
"hm." you crossed your arms and leaned against the counter once again, sighing this time. "what am I distracting you now?"
"i gotta use the bathroom, be right back." he said coldly.
you pursed your lips and then shook your head. "you want the pancakes or not?!"
"yeah!" his voice cracked as he ran to the bathroom.
you giggled and turned off the stove. you knew exactly what he was up to.
matt bee-lined for the bed and threw himself on it, tossing most of the pillows to the floor and stuffing the remaining behind his back, before yanking his sweatpants down to his knees. there was no need to drag this out. he had enough foreplay just watching you downstairs, and not to mention the interrupted scene that morning that had been playing through his head for the rest of the time after that.
he grasped his cock firmly from the spot on his stomach where it had lay hard and wet-tipped against his stomach.
he gasped at the contact and let his head fall back, his mouth falling open as he squeezed himself, before letting his cock fall with a slap against heated skin.
with a flat hand, he pulled the moisture from the tip, smearing it down his length, before curling his fingers over his balls, just grazing his fingertips below them.matt ran his tongue over his dry lips, picturing you in the kitchen, remembering how you'd looked with your pajama pants hanging so low that just the slightest tug would pull them off.
he groaned and brought his hand around his dick again, tugging jerkily, frantically, and bent his knees, planting his feet on the bed.He could see you between his legs, one hand on his thigh, the other pleasuring yourself right along with him.
matt screwed his eyes closed and clamped his other hand over his own thigh, breathing hard and fast and stroking even faster.He imagined fucking you over the counter. both of you whimpering as he thrusted roughly into you, one hand gripping your hips roughly, leaving small marks. his other roped around to the front of your body, rubbing your clit.
the muscles in matts’s arms began to burn as he stroked himself but that barely registered, the only thing he could think of, the only thing he could see, was you beneath him.
him plunging into you and hearing your pretty noises.
your face as it twisted with pleasure.
He stroked himself long and hard, inside and out, his breath ragged and heavy and he knew it wouldn’t be long before his releass. he moaned loudy, picturing you against the counter once again. This sent him right over the edge.
with a loud cry of your name, his knees hit his shoulders as his belly strained and his hips thrust up onto his plunging fingers, his body pulsing around them, and quick lines of milky liquid squirted over his hand and the quivering skin of his stomach.
you opened the bedroom door and matts head snapped at the creaking sound it had made.
"huh. well this isnt the bathroom." you teased, making your way towards the bed.
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irishmammonagenda · 3 months
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MC's magic going wrong 😱😰
or right depending on ur outlook on life ig
warnings: swearing, mentions of death (extremely brief and only notioned towards), physical affection
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You hadn´t thought much of it at first when you got back to the human realm. Everything went back to normal. Or as normal as it could be.
Your mother and father sobbed when they saw you, stating how they though´t you were lying in a ditch somewhere in the stretching countryside. You´d lied, told them you were away on a residency based apprenticeship, that you were sorry for worrying them. Your siblings showed signs of worry you never thought they were able to feel for you. Thus you were being babied for a month or so.
That´s when it started.
At first, it was more corvids at the bird feeder in your garden than usual. Then it was stray cats. Then inexplicable black and white feathers dusting your clothing and hair.
Your mother smiled picking out the ivory feather from the confines of your unbrushed hair, "Oh! Your guardian angel´s been watching over you!" she says playfully, an old wives´ tale, nothing too serious.
You tense for a moment, before laughing with her. "Well I´ll take it as a good sign." Stupid old wives being the smartest people.
At first it was easy to brush off.
Then your father started getting lucky, he hadn't been one to gamble persay, putting a few coins in on a bet for the horse racing or the football was a regular occurrence, sometimes he won,sometimes he didn't. The difference of a few silvers, a share bag of sweets basically, made no real strain on your belts. But now, he was winning left right and center. Winning amounts that shouldnt be possible based on the amount he input.
Though, after you woke up to cats and corvids staring at you unblinkingly, in your room, with a few flies and insects on the walls, and your bedsheets covered in feathers and scales of all colours and sizes, enough was enough.
You were going to give those nerds a piece of your mind.
After shooing the animals out, (making sure to pet the cats), you picked up a lipstick, and channeled your pact magic before drawing a circle with various symbols on the floor,
You stilled, "Ah, shit. I dunno how to do this, i mean half of those symbols are angry faces and squiggles...." but ever the theatre nerd, you improved.
"I, MC, call upon the power of my pacts with the Avatars of Hell! and, using their power; a portal to the Devildom shall open for me!"
And a portal did open for you. Unfortunately, not to the best place. As you travelled through the time pocket you ended up stumbling once you made it to the other side, the stumble turnt into a tumble turnt into a fall. Unluckily for you, the thing you fell on was toned flesh and chuckling heartily, you were in Diavolo's lap.
"It's great of you to drop by MC!" He says, his massive hands pulling you further into his frame.
You cover your face with your hands, now noticing the various other nobles in the council room who are staring at their Prince, attempting to mask the fact their jaws are going to hit the floor.
Atleast the Brothers weren't there, but Barbatos' half polite smile half smirk and Diavolo whispering various playful musings of, "Did you miss me that much little human, we missed you too.", and "Summoning a portal illegally into the Demon Lord's castle and onto the Demon Princes lap...tututut." almost made the brothers seem like a mercy....
...almost.
You couldn't tell if this was a win or a lose.
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youraveragemushroom · 2 years
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weixuldo · 5 months
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Like a Drug
Toxic!Anakin x Reader
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a/n: hihihi, this one is a pretty long one shot ahh sorry! its based on this ask from @hanasnx ! (Though I did change the promp a little) I just wanted to also update that It is officially finals week- so I'll be slower than i alr am SORRY!! but i have been working on the next xhapters of allow me and enigma when i get breaks!! I hope u enjoy! ALSO! Please don't stay w someone if they act the way anakin does in this fic- this is purely a scenario for fictional purposes, never let anyone do anything he does, to you.
Anakin has a very peculiar way of showing his love; well you call it love other people call it an unhealthy obsession... you finally realize how fucked up the situation is and leave- but the real question is how long can you stay away?
warnings: cursing, toxic bf ani, smex, cumplay, agressive behavior, mention of blood, fights, alluded sexual harassment, anakin is obsessive and posessive. (he's does some fucked up shit)
_____________________
“Get up” Anakin’s stern voice rang as he gripped your upper arm. 
You jumped at the unexpected contact- why was Anakin here? 
“Ani! You scared m-” you started to laugh before he tightened his grip.
“Now.” he growled. 
You looked back at your friends sitting across the table from you; their eyes were wide. Before you could say anything, Anakin started to pull you up. 
“Let go of her!” one of your friends demanded. 
He snapped his head towards her and only loosened his grip on you to stomp to the other side of the table. His tall frame towered as he glared daggers at her. 
“The fuck did you just say?” he spat.
She went pale and looked down at her lap. 
“That’s what I thought. Anyone else have any smart comments?” he huffed, before promptly pulling you out of the restaurant. 
Before you made it all the way out the door you mouthed an “its ok” to your friends before following your boyfriend outside. 
“Anakin, what the fuck?” you exclaimed, throwing your hands in the air. 
He continued towards his sleek black camaro (he loved to drive through the city at night, music blaring and his hand on his property, your thigh). 
“Don’t fucking ignore me Anakin!” you shouted, gaining the attention of an older couple who were heading inside the restaurant. 
Your cheeks burned as you caught their stares, but honestly you were used to this shit, it wasn’t the first time you and Ani had made a scene in public. Anakin always did this- he would get pissy over some irrelevant thing and you would get into an argument. 
He stopped and turned with such anger.
“You really wanna know? You shouldnt have to fuckin’ ask why I’m upset! If you ever thought of anyone but yourself you’d see how fucked up it is of you to get dinner with those bitches who want to break us up” he screamed; his beautiful blue eyes dark with rage. 
You knew Anakin hated your friends. And you knew they hated him.
“You know they don’t like me and always try to get you to leave- Meanwhile those sluts cant keep their legs shut; they’re probably just jealous cause I’m the only guy who gets to fuck you and they have to find a new one every night!” he spat. 
Most of your friends were in stable relationships, but of course Anakin didn’t bother to remember that. 
“How am I selfish Anakin? I just wanted to grab dinner with the girls and you didn’t even come up. I told them not to bring you up after the last fight” you sighed, exhausted from Anakin's irrational moods. 
His sculpted jaw clenched and his right eye twitched. 
“It's the fact that you still even allow their company, it’s disrespectful.”
You shook your head and huffed in disbelief. 
“Anakin, you are absolutely unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable… Do you even hear yourself right now?!” you screamed. 
“And not that it should even fucking matter, but how did you even know I was with them?” 
“I have your location- you know that” he stated as if you asked if the sky was blue. 
“I know that, but how about them?”
He knew where they were because he made several alternative snapchat accounts and pretended to be someone from school who was just looking for new friends.
He spent nights pretending to be an excited freshman who was wondering where the science building was. He used remix to send your friends snaps that made it look like he was on campus or hanging out downtown with other students. And eventually he gained their trust enough for them to turn on their snap map for him so he could “make sure they were safe” if they went somewhere, since it's “dangerous for us college girls down here”. 
“Intuition.” 
You rolled your eyes and laughed, “No way, you probably chipped their phones or some psycho shit cause you’re fucking crazy Anakin!” 
“Well if you just goddamn did what I told you we wouldn’t have to have these conversations or be in these situations” he replied dryly. 
“How many fucking “rules” are there for me to follow?! Everytime I go out or do anything, you find something to nit pick! It's exhausting! I don’t even know why I’m still with you?!”
“Get in the car.” he demanded. 
“You’re insane if you think-”
His whole demeanor shifted and he sighed, “baby, please… I’m sorry, let’s talk about this”. 
“No, Anakin- i’m done with your bullshit” you said, heading back towards the building. 
He felt his scarred eye twitch, but he needed to subdue his temper (just until he could take it out on your pretty pussy).
See, Anakin Skywalker was a master manipulator. He knew that no matter how much you fought or how insane he acted- you would always come back.
This was clockwork for him. You’d fight, he’d act vulnerable, you would fuck, and then you’d be good for a while. A perfect system. Never failed. 
He called your name with a desperate plea- he had no problem acting needy if it got him to where he needed to be, plus this gave you the illusion of having power in this familiar situation. 
You hesitantly turned around to meets his gaze; his beautiful blue eyes glassy with his brilliant manipulation. 
“Baby, I’m sorry- I just worry about you..” he spoke softly as you subconsciously came closer. 
Soon his strong arms were wrapped around your waist and his scent flooded your senses. 
“You know I can't control my feelings sometimes- I just love you too much- I can’t lose you too…” he whispered into your hair. 
You knew exactly what he was referring to with the “too”- his mother. He was very close with her, growing up she was all he had. A few years back she passed away and it took a big toll on your lover.
You never wanted to admit it, but you knew he used that to guilt trip you into staying or to get you to feel bad for him. 
You hated him. 
But you couldn’t stop…
You held him tighter and grabbed his shirt fabric, “I know Ani… I know”.
You were now crying too- You knew this was unhealthy- toxic even; but you just couldn’t quit him. 
You felt his strong arms lift you up and he carried you towards his camaro; you knew what came next… He’d comfort you, fuck you, then you would act as if no argument ever happened.
A cycle you had gotten all too familiar with. 
__________________________________
“F-fuck” Anakin stuttered as he slammed his cock into you; intensive sounds of your bodies colliding, ricochet off the bedroom walls. 
“You feel s-so good Baby- doin’ so good for me” he praised as he thrusted in and out of your plush walls. You were lying on your back as he held one of your legs over his shoulder so he could hit even deeper. 
The glorious feeling of his calloused hands along your smooth stomach made you shiver. When you first started dating Anakin he told you that he would please you so well that no other men would be able to compare.
he was right…
No man could navigate your body the way he does, read your tells like he could, no man could make you cum as well as Anakin could.
He slowed his hips for a moment making you whine at the lack of movement from his thick cock. 
“Look at me baby”. 
You blinked your doe eyes open, tears falling from the corners. He observed your features before his eyes softened. 
“My girl, my pretty girl… always so lovely” she smiled before tenderly kissing you. 
“I love you more than anything” he whispered against your plump lips. 
This.
Moments like this were why you stayed: he could be kind- he was sweet- he did care. 
You were about to reciprocate his statement but were cut off by his hand tightly gripping around your throat as he continued snapping his hips into yours.
You squealed with each powerful thrust- it was ok, you’d tell him later. 
His swollen member was blushing red and as hard as could be. He absolutely adored having you below him, taking his dick like a champ- he remembered how proud he was when you were finally able to take all of him. 
A particularly hefty thrust sent his neurons firing and he knew he was almost at his end. He sloppily bucked his hips into your pelvis as his breathing became more erratic. 
“I’m gonna cum- w-where do you want it sweet girl?” he half stuttered, half moaned.
You patted your chest and gave Anakin a knowing look. 
With that he was gone, his brows knitted together in ecstasy and his hips lurched forward. A string of obscenities left his mouth as he quickly slid his dick out of you to aim for your chest. 
Barely one pump in, his warm seed coated your chest. You watched as his abs and thighs contracted with each wave of pleasure. Some of his damp curls stuck to his forehead, he had a sheen of sweat, and his cheeks were flushed. 
What a beautiful sight. 
_________________________________________
Anakin’s fingers tucked some wild strands of hair behind your ear as you slept peacefully beside him.
Last night cut it a little closer than he normally would have, but it all worked out because here you were, still with him- fast asleep in his bed. 
He grabbed your phone and began to go through your messages (an unhealthy habit he picked up a few months back), his fingers immediately moved to the new notifications from your friends.
He opened the pinned group chat and read the messages from last night. 
Where r u? Where’d he take u?
Are you alright?
WTF was that?!
Anakin rolled his eyes; your friends were always so dramatic. But he smiled when he saw your response. 
“Guys i'm good, ani took me home and we talked things out- he’s just been really stressed out lately, it's nothing to worry about!”
You were his good girl and he’d spoil you today for your loyalty. 
He continued to scroll passively until he got to the newer unread messages. 
y/n, can we all please talk when you get back- we’re worried about you
Yea, anakin doesn’t seem like he has the best intentions
We hate to see you in this situation
Babe, he’s toxic- u need to dump him
“...u need to dump him”
Anakin almost threw the phone across the room- no way these bitches were telling you to dump him?!
He was the only one who took care of you, he was the only one who knew what was best for you- who did these girls think they were?!
Before he could stop himself he took out his own phone and copied all of their numbers down so he could send several nasty message to the girls basically telling them to back the fuck off and being unnecessarily hateful.
After he blocked their numbers, he decided it was time for a shower, so he left you with a kiss and headed to the bathroom. 
The emptiness of the bed made you wake. For a moment, you began to search for Anakin but the shower in the other room indicated where he was. 
You smiled and cuddled further into his sheets. The warmth of the blankets began to pull you back into slumber but your phone interrupted the notion. 
It was one of the girls you had gotten dinner with last night, what would she be calling this early for?
“Hello?”
y/n, I’m sorry but you need to come back now, I don’t think it's the best idea for you to be with anakin-
“Wait, slow down… why?”
She sent you screenshots of the messages he sent and you almost dropped your phone.
“What the fuck?! Anakin sent this?”
Yes, this morning- I really think you should get out of that relationship y/n- I’ve been telling you this! He’s trying to make you dependent on only him- it's not healthy!
You took a moment to regain your thoughts and quickly said a goodbye when you heard the water stop running. 
Why would he be so cruel? You knew he had his issues but he’d never been so explicitly viscous before. Maybe your friends were right, you had been manipulated so much that you were defending his toxic behavior. This had to stop. 
You knew you wouldn’t be able to face him for long (he would just pull you back in). So you quickly began to gather your things so that it would be easier to leave after you talked with him. 
You almost had everything packed when the doorknob turned to reveal a fresh Anakin; his hair was still damp from the shower and his skin had a glistening shine from the residual steam. He had such a big smile… you hated this, but it needed to be done. 
“What’s going on princess?” he frowned when he saw your bag was already packed. 
“Anakin… I have to go” you said hurriedly. 
He moved in front of you and held up a hand, “Woah, can we talk about what’s going on? Why are you leaving in such a hurry?” he asked (genuinely worried). 
With a sigh, you looked him in the eye, “Anakin- we can’t keep doing this- we aren’t good for eachother”. 
He felt his chest tighten. 
“Was it your friends? Did they put those thoughts in your head?! I told you they weren’t-”
“Anakin! Please, enough! I saw what you said to them- Why the fuck would you say that? You’re not acting like the man I fell in love with… You’ve changed so much” you said with watery eyes.
For a moment he looked as if he were going to punch something but eventually he let out a breath and defeatedly stood to the side. Your words seemed to really hit him. 
“Angel, I do what I do because I love you- you know that. I know I’m messed up- but I’ve been working on it, Truly” he promised.
Tears fell as you shook your head, “I know Ani, but it's not fair to me- I can’t keep doing this! We always end up fighting and you always get upset”
“I DON'T!” Anakin unintentionally shouted, making you shrink away from him. 
“This is what I'm talking about Ani, I don’t wanna do this- no, i’m not doing this anymore. I’m leaving” you said, grabbing your things and heading for the door. 
He called your name but you ignored him, you almost got to his front door when he grabbed your upper arm. 
“Let go!” you shouted, snatching your arm from his hold.
“Please, just leave me alone” you cried as you walked out of the house and headed for the uber you sneakily called while he was still in the shower. 
As the uber drove away, you saw a confused and hurt Anakin standing in his driveway.
You put your head in your hands and cried… 
It needed to be done.
It had to. 
_________________________________________
A few months later
The early autumn air nipped at your skin as you haistilly exited the rowdy club. You shivered and crossed your arms after checking the time. 
10:34 pm
You had only gotten to the damn club 30 minutes ago and you already wanted to leave. You and some friends had gone out to reward yourselves for a hard week (and to hopefully get your mind off of your ex).
Some guy in the club had gotten a little too handsy fior your comfort- he attempted to put his hand up your dress and grope your breasts while you were just leaning over the bar to order another drink. You slapped him across the face and made your way outside to get some air. 
You wanted to leave; as you stood by the curb you felt the familiar sting of tears pricking at your eyes. 
Fuck. 
The sensation of alcohol warmed your tummy and clouded your thoughts. Warm, strong hands protecting you from any other man who dared to look at you. Fierce blue eyes warding off any unwanted attention- 
No. 
You physically shook your head and opened your phone to distract yourself. There was no fucking way you were thinking about him right now. You scrolled to your uber app and looked up rates for a ride back to your apartment. 
$40, $35, $47, $32, $43
The rates were through the roof, no way you were going to pay that just to get a few blocks home. 
Almost instinctively, your hands moved so that your thumb was shivering over Anakin’s number. 
What were you doing?!
You were about to swipe off when you realized: you weren’t willing to take an expensive uber, but you also didn’t want to walk that far in heels and at night. Maybe you should call him… at least you know him and he does owe you a favor anyways. 
Fuck it. 
You unblock and dial his number. 
Ring…
Ring…….
Ring………..
Voicemail.
You groaned. You knew very well what he was doing- he was making you call several times so that you would look desperate. He loved doing that shit. You dialed again. 
Ring…
 Rin- 
“Hey sweet thing, finally came to your senses?” he said, smugness dripping off his every word. 
“Anakin- please come pick me up” you sniffed. 
“And why would I do that? Why would I do you a favor after you’ve been such a bra-”
“Ani- someone tried to touch me- I wanna go home” you cried. 
The other end of the phone went silent. Anakin’s eye began to twitch and his grip on the phone tightened. 
“Where?” he gritted out. 
“What? I’m on fourth street, over by the old mill-”
“Where did he touch you?” he interrupted. 
You took a breath- maybe you shouldn’t have called Anakin, you knew he was going to cause a scene- but at the same time a dark part of you wanted him to become violent with his passion for you. 
“He put his hand up my skirt and started groping my breas-”
“I’m on my way” is all he said before finally adding-
“That fucker is dead.”
You breathed a sigh of relief, Ani was coming. 
___________
Anakin’s knuckles were a fiery red as he dealt several blows to the man who had dared to touch his girl. His vision clouded by rage and hatred; how dare someone try to touch what was his. 
Sure, you were broken up (or so you thought); but anakin saw it as just a small break- You were getting back together- he knew it.
All he was waiting on was your call. 
Once he was satisfied, he stood up and shook the blood off of his hand. He looked over his work; the man’s face wa bloodied and his lip was cracked (there was also possibly a tooth missing but Anakin didn’t really give a  fuck). 
He leaned over and spat, “Don’t ever touch someone who isn’t yours again”. 
He made his way through the crowd of stunned onlookers who all began to back away from him as he headed towards the bathroom. Once he got there, everyone stepped out and allowed him to walk in with no hesitation (They didn’t want to get on his bad side in any shape or form). 
He leaned on the sink and examined the cut on his cheekbone. 
Whatever. 
He turned on the faucet and washed the blood from his hands; no need for his beautiful girl to see the blood of a fucking perv. 
He dried his hands and exited the building to collect you from outside the building. 
You stood there, arms crossed, his jacket draped over your shoulders: his Angel. 
“Hey, sweetheart” he called in a soft voice as he put his arm around you. 
You looked at him with big eyes. 
“Are you alright?” He kissed your forehead. 
You nodded and hugged him closer to you.
“It's all taken care of, let's get you home”
______
“I knew you’d come back” he broke the silence in the car (well, the radio was on- but you hadn’t spoken since he left the club).
“Anakin, can we please not talk about this right now? '' you said quietly. 
He glanced at you and put a tender hand on your thigh. 
“Angel, these past few weeks without you have been hell… I’m sorry for how I acted- I love you”.
You knew this was just another way he was trying to manipulate you- he definitely don’t attempt to better himself, but you couldn’t help but indulge him- after all… you missed him too. You placed one of your hands on top of his and met his eye. 
“Ani- will you take me to your’s?” you asked shyly, as if you hadn’t spent countless nights in his bed. 
He smiled and rubbed his hand along your leg, “Of course darling”. 
“Maybe I can help relieve some of your stress too,” he added with a deeper tone. 
You mentally sighed- of course he wanted that; but you also wouldn’t mind having him near you again, so you politely nodded with a smile. 
He squeezed your thigh, “That’s my girl, I knew you couldn’t quit me that easy”
You turned your head to look out the window at the bright city once more… He was right- you just couldn’t quit him.
***
Once again anakin is completely fucked up in this fic- pls dont romantiscice this behavior in real life... other than that- I hope you enjoyed the fic lmfaooo. I haven't really written ani as an actually problamatic character before, its mostly just like rude or grumpy ani lmfao. but ty for stopping by!!
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upsidedownmvnson · 1 year
Text
eddie’s annoyed with you when you’re not on time for hellfire.
you know he’s sensitive about starting on time, but still you were running late again. even though this time you promised.
but the mood slowly shifts to something else as time ticks on. you’re always a couple minutes late but nearly an hour? eddie is really frustrated, and his feelings are hurt. he decides to leave your character behind, the party left you alone, sleeping in a cave.
when they return to the cave later, theyre unable to save you from a bandit situation, and your character dies. eddie kinda feels bad, but you know what time the club starts.
what he doesnt expect is steve harrington bursting into the room, looking frenzied. the whole party stared at him, but he was locked on eddie. eddie approached his friend, worried about the look in steve’s eyes.
steve stood up straight, and cleared his throat. weakly he says, “something terrible happened.”
and when steve tells him about your car accident, eddie feels sick. his knees buckle, and steve has to hold him up. he’s totally disoriented by this news. his felt his heart beat pounding behind his eyes, and his ears rang loudly, barely registering the panicked talking going on around him
“theyre alive,” steve was shouting, but people weren’t letting him talk, so he had to keep shouting it over the hundred questions. they wouldnt be able to handle it. not again. not when max still hasnt woken up. “eddie? can you hear me buddy?”
but eddie was in shock. he was trying to blame himself. he was looking for the moment he somehow caused this.
“can you walk? ill drive you,” steve says, as gareth searches eddies pockets for the keys to the van. “dustin, get over here, help me get eddie to the car.”
as soon as they moving, the adrenaline starts moving through eddie’s body. he was able to break free of his friend’s aid and pick up his pace, and the three of them ran through the school and into the parking lot. the dim light steve parked by was flickering, putting a weak spotlight on eddie as he tugged the door handle on the passenger seat
“let me unlock it,” steve snapped, fumbling the keys in his hand. he dropped them, the pressure of eddie’s stare was kinda terrifying.
when they were in the car, eddie was finally alert.
“what the fuck is going on?” he snapped.
no one said anything. there was nothing they could say that would make eddie feel better, or calm down. steve sped out of the parking lot, blowing the stop sign. he shouldnt have, given the reason you were in the hospital.
eddie squeezed his eyes shut. he was wrong. he was petty and hurt and he thought you were being a dick but you were - he was gunna throw up - you were somewhere bleeding. you were laying on the asphalt after a violent car crash and he was thinking youre an asshole
“their character died,” eddie said. “we killed them.”
“its not gunna happen,” steve said, gripping the steering wheel. a statement he couldnt back up.
at the hospital, eddie barely waited for the car the stop before he was running inside, tripping over his own feet as he rushed to get to you. dustin was hot on his trail and steve was parking the car.
eddie saw nancy with her boyfriend, and when nancy saw him, she came over, putting her hands on eddies arms. dustin spoke with jonathan in the background.
“relax,” she said, “please breath. they’re okay right now. they’re in surgery, and its going well, okay?”
“wheeler?” eddie asked, eyes filling with tears he had no control over.
“it has to be fine,” nancy said. “sit with me.”
and with no other options he listened, following nancy to an uncomfortable plastic chair that squeaked when he sat. nancy held his hand over the stiff arm rests, but he didnt find any comfort. he didnt think he would until he was with you again.
jonathan sat beside nancy, giving her a sad smile and handing her a bitter coffee. he sat quietly, letting nancy give eddie her attention. dustin sat on the other side of eddie, also opting to stay quiet. what was anyone supposed to say?
honestly, the only thing eddie wanted to hear was your voice.
might rewrite this properly - its a midnight idea i had and i like it enough to post it 🥰
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tojisun · 5 months
Note
Okay so…
dbf!simon isn’t getting a call…right?
because we know good and damn well he’s not going to put his pride aside and call, so, we’re going to play the waiting game, I’m assuming…?
I live for the angst, regardless of what the outcome is, mwah.
is it considered simon getting a call if he’s the one who rang you up and you answered…?
0v0
mini cont of dear john // biker!simon mlist
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your phone rings once, twice, three times, before it drops. you stare at it lifelessly, balling your hands into fists to stop yourself from plucking it off your study table only to pause, your heart roaring, when it lights up again with a notification of simon’s call.
you debate whether you should answer it.
you know you shouldn’t. you know any self-respecting person wouldn’t. but-
you miss him.
as pathetic and as stupid as it sounds, you miss him. you miss the way he calls your name, all of his fleeting affections packed into the way he lets it roll off his tongue like it’s his favourite word; his favourite sound. you miss the way he holds you, the way his big hands slide underneath your skirt to find purchase on the back of your thighs and hoist you up into his arms. you miss the way he kisses you, all smouldering. all possessive.
all temporary.
you press your face on your palms, breathing in deeply, feeling the tears begin to pool.
another ring. another call.
simon is seeking you out-
your mind blanks as you move to accept it, only to hesitate in pressing your phone to your ear.
you hear a distant click, a faint static. then, “oh my sweet girl, how i’ve missed you.”
you slap a hand on your lips to stifle the sob that wrenches itself out of your throat.
simon pretends to not have heard.
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you know those people whistling as they slowly make their way out (bc they know they did smthn that they shouldnt have)? thats so me rn <33
and thank u sm!!! i love writing angst sm. its been so long since i managed to land a hurt through my writing so this makes me so happy teehee ^v^
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privitivium · 1 month
Note
Hey formerly first, now second time anon here.
I really like what you wrote the last time. Would you be open to doing another one where the gn/male reader has developed a crush on fatherly yan after working for him and is completely oblivious to his yan ways.
-Second time anon
sure 2nd time anonnn!!!!! i yearn for a new theme of how i do these fics. must... copy paste beautiful font.... must..... create aesthetic dividers..... hnngnhh
fatherly yandere boss guy x oblivious male reader,,
tw;; perverted boss ,,, stalking ,,,, masturbation,,,,, mhm.
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so charismatic,,, god, yes he was. pretty and kind - you were falling for your boss like everyone else who worked for himㅡit was inevitable. you think he put some kind of spell on your fellow co-workers and yourself... so easily charmed. shit, thats just gotta be witchcraft, right?
it was embarrassing. especially when he seemed to loiter around your cubicle specifically... saying something to you about assassistantsㅡholy fuck you just couldnt understand him, catching yourself enraptured by the way his glossy thick lips moved as he spoke to you quietly as though not wanting others to hear - "ah, yeah... yeah- yes. thank you." fuck you had no idea what he was talking about. you could only assume praise - he often liked to do so to his ... employees. you found yourself growing bigheaded,,, noting that he often liked to dote on you rather than the others. he only grinned, nodding - reaching over and patting you on the shoulder before he was departing. you made yourself look like a complete idiot, didn't you? ah... groaning softly in agitation at how brainless he made you,,, so unfair. so naive.
ㅡprecious,,, describes you perfectly. rubbing his face as he sits at his desk.. reminiscent of just yesterday - when he jerked off to the scent of your tie you left behind. the sight of you - buttons undone and sleeves rolled up to your elbows after he coerced you to relax...
you were so easy, he whimpers at the thought - loosening his tie and fantasizing about you accidentally entering his office while he was vulnerableㅡeven though he kept his doors locked and blinds shut, the thought was enticing... fiddling with the little box of stray things hes managed to steal underneath your nose. it always gets him through the day... chewing on the ends of one of your already chewed up pens - grumbling to himself as he signs papers of several deals offered to himㅡsuch stressful nonsense he's said to them that he wants no part in; yet they relent obnoxiously... hnn... the mere aroma of the little box - smelled just like you. something he found himself inappropriately touching himself toㅡ
ㅡ"oh, heading out?" he catches you; trashbag in hand. it shouldnt be embarrassing holding a bag of your trash - full of papers and the occasional gum wrapper, "... yes." you answer meekly, head lowering unconsciously when with your superior, "not... leaving. just, ah, throwing trash." so awkward,,, having to look just underneath his eye to give the illusion you were staring into his eye - something he could see through immediately,,, frowning as he scrutinizes you before parting his lips to respond,,,
"here, i'll take it. you... get back to it. busy bee." he grinned, gently taking the small trashbag without much restraint before you catch yourselfㅡ"oh, no no... i got it, no worries." you inch backwards - trying to smile but it comes off as a grimace. if only you could be as charming as he... "ah, here..." he says your name gently, taking the tiny trashbag and placing a hand on the small of your back as he gets - w-way too closeㅡ"i got it. i take care of my employees, you know?" uh... whats that got to do with taking out ur employees trash? DOES THAT REALLY COUNT AS TAKING CARE OF YOU ???
"h-haah... yessir." slurring out your little murmurs of gratitude and shuffling away, "thank you." so stiff. so ... innocent to his true intentions.
oblivious to the way you were clearly crushing on him - oblivious to each other... rifling through your trashbag he gently unloaded onto his desk; door locked; careful to make sure there were no cans with excess soda or anything of the sort... tissues? hnn... yeah he's keeping those.
ㅡit hasn't gotten too bad, he assures himself, cleaning off his desk and keeping the most valuable finds. it hasn't gotten bad. he- hasn't tapped your phone yet. he ... does show up at your place. that's not too bad. just checking in on his most valuable little busy bee. not that you would know, anyway... you seem pretty neutral when shuffling around your home... it's only a matter of time before he formally invites himself over without any warning? it's only a matter of time before he gets sick of this senseless song and dance of tiptoeing around each other...
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savannahsdeath · 9 months
Note
heyyy could u write something where like reader is about to shower but starts to get really insecure and kinda has a breakdown, BUT ellie reassures her. (pls also give reader stretch marks bc i've been so insecure abt mine lately and i have them literally everywhere. thighs, hips, even on my boobs lol) <3
ELLIE WILLIAMS X INSECURE!READER
mdni please<3
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warnings: 18+!! but tbh its minors safe this time i think ??
writers note: just a reminder youre all beautiful no matter what!! beauty standards or wtv was it called are something we shouldnt base our life on but we sadly do. self love is the key to happiness and dont let other people ruin it!!🩷🩷and to our lovely anon, you dont need to worry about stretch marks. trust me, most of people dont even pay attention to them! its nothing 'special in a bad way'. i lately got some too, right before my holidays and theyre sooo visible through my summer clothes but its something you can get used to be comfortable with. please, anon, dont think less of yourself because of them nor any other insecurities. and this comes to everyone!!💞
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it was already late so you were getting ready to take a shower to not waste any more time. you put your clothes on a nearby shelf. you stood in front of the mirror in your underwear only, looking for anything that could be possibly pointed out, like you didn't have enough insecurities already. feeling rather self-conscious, you were examining your reflection for any flaws or imperfections. every detail of your body was being inspected up-close, from the lines on your stomach, to the size of your thighs, to the shape of your shoulders and face. your eyes were scanning every inch of you, seeking any signs of something you could hate, even if others wouldn't notice them. you couldn't help but wonder if the things you were stressing over were even worth worrying about, or if you were just creating problems where they didn't exist.
either way, you couldn't help but hate them. and since you mostly focused on bad things and you didn't see your advantages - you hated yourself. in your eyes your whole body could change. or even should change.
the more you stared at yourself in the mirror, picking apart every little thing, the more you hated what you saw. it felt like nothing was good enough, like every little imperfection needed to be changed or worked on. you felt like you could never measure up to this impossible standard, like your entire body was inadequate. the insecurities were eating away at you, gnawing away until any confidence or self-love you might've had was gone.
that was the moment your eyes beginned to get glossy. you didn't cry though, oh, no. you hated the way you look when you cry, just like everything else, so you tried your best to hold back tears. the floodgates were beginning to open, but you held them back with everything you had. you despised the way you looked when you cried: the tears down your cheeks, your puffy eyes, all those disgusting, revolting imperfections. as much as you hated your flaws, you despised your crying face even more. you would never let anyone see you like that, never.
suddenly, your girlfriend and roommate in one, knocked on the door. "everything okay in there?"
she must notice you're taking your time instead of simply taking a shower already.
you stayed silent, knowing if you try to open your mouth you couldn't control what comes from them. you'd probably break down and the thick door won't be enough to mute your pathetic sobs.
you didn't want to answer, but then again, you knew if you stayed quiet, your girlfriend would eventually come in and check on you. you had to keep yourself together. you couldn't fall apart right in front of her like that.
you let out a shaky breath and replied, "yeah, everything's fine." you could feel your voice cracking with each word, but you were determined not to let her see you in such a sorry state.
what if she sees me the way i see myself?
your girlfriend wasn't fooled by your shaky reply. even if you denied it, she knew something was wrong. she heard the emotion in your voice and could sense the struggle to keep yourself together. without another word, she opened the door and walked in.
"what's wrong, pretty girl?" she asked when she didn't saw your glossy eyes yet.
you, on the other hand, couldn't control yourself anymore. the nickname 'pretty girl' hit you instantly, thinking you're anything but pretty.
pretty.
girl.
those two words hit you harder than a punch to the gut, evoking a strong reaction that you tried to mask. you took a deep breath to steady your voice so that you didn't break, but it was impossible to sound completely calm when you felt so much pain just from those two words.
"nothing." you muttered quietly, but your voice sounded more like a choke than a word.
she hugged you from behind, looking in the same, unlucky mirror. her hands softly touched the scretch marks on your hips as she hold onto them, gently rocking you back and forth.
you wanted nothing more than to reject this hug and flee from your own reflection in the mirror, but you were too weak to pull away.
"nothing?" she asked gently, planting little kisses from your neck to shoulders.
you felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over you as your girlfriend's touch revealed the marks on your hips. she immediately spotted them and caressed them with her soft hands.
it all felt too much. you were fighting so hard to hold yourself together, but when she touched you, it all came crashing down. the tears finally escaped and you began to sob, clinging onto her tightly as you broke down. "no... not nothing..."
she held you close, feeling your warmth as her arms wrapped around you and her hands comforted your pain. she rubbed your back and kissed your neck as she tried to soothe you. "shh, come here, it's okay..." she whispered gently.
she led you over to the bed and laid you down. she carefully took off her shirt, leaving on only her bra and boxers, then laid down with you, hugging you tightly. she kissed your neck, your face, brushed your hair back, caressed your body, your stretch marks, your insecurities (at least the ones she knew about), anything to try and comfort you. she whispered words of reassurance and love as she tried to fill you with the affection you felt you lacked. "i love you, my pretty girl... i love you." she repeated those words again and again, hoping you'd believe that someone could love you, and that someone was her.
ellie continued to hold you tightly as you cried into her. your tears soaked into her bra, but she didn't mind; you'd done that many times before. she rubbed your back in soothing circles as she let you let it all out, and she made small shushing noises in your ear. your sobs turned into whimpers and then into a soft murmur, and as your emotions died down, she gently wiped away the tears, replacing them with kisses.
as she noticed you calmed down she slightly pulled away to get a better look at you. "can you tell me what's wrong now?"
"i... it's just..." you started, and your voice broke as you tried to find the words. your girlfriend gave you her undivided attention, focusing on you and only you. "i- i don't feel pretty... i don't feel good enough... i don't feel... enough."
with her eyes looking deep into yours, you couldn't help but be vulnerable as you opened up to her. your insecurities and flaws, the things you tried so hard to hide, were all laid bare in front of her now.
a pang of guilt hit you in that moment.
what am i doing?
ellie was so sweet and loving, and you felt like you were just taking advantage of her kindness. like you're just an attention seeker.
but before you could say anything, she pressed a finger to your lips.
"no. shut your mouth." she said sternly, and you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "that's not true. i don't wanna hear it, not another word." she leaned in and pressed her soft lips to yours.
you found yourself sitting on her lap, as she stroked your hair, whispering something or kissing you from time to time. you told her all about it, about what and how you feel. and she listened.
you were so lost in your emotional story you didn't even notice the way she slowly took off her rings - one by one, and placed them on a bedside shelf.
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