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justthoughts1310 · 2 months

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ATLA and Marvel have the same misogyny

So... I've finally made it to episode 8 of Netflix's Live Action ATLA.

This may be shocking for some of you, because I wrote a post about how Netflix ATLA is misogynistic a month ago, but now I'm back again.

I specifically want to talk about the absolutely ridiculous and bullshit feminist virtue signaling that we are habitually forced to endure.

The scene I am specifcally referring to is the scene in which Katara demands that Master Pakku let's her fight. Then all of a sudden, the camera pans to all of the healers in the Northern Water Tribe (the female water benders) who stand ready to fight.

Yet, despite their immense power, they are begging this old as man for permission, instead of just doing what needs to be done.

This scene is giving... stupid. It's giving the 999th Marvel movie that NOBODY freaking wanted... okay! Does anybody remember that scene from Avenger's End Game (of course you do), in which all of the female avengers assemble, and it's one female cameo after another? I have no idea who liked this scene, but I didn't. I HATED this scene! I thought it was tacky and cringe, and I didn't understand why I felt that way.

Then in the Marvels, there's this scene in which Captain Danvers gets knocked down, and then there's this sequence starting from when she was a little girl playing softball in which she gets knocked down and gets back up.

The whole thing is soooo cringe.

It's cringe because it's heavy handed. It feels like one of those inspirational quotes you put on your wall that says something stupid like "She believed she could so she did..." or "Shero" or "Herstory".

It feels like a moment in which the male writers were like, we got to make women feel seen, so let's stop the flow of the entire movie and series and whatever is going on and have this really stupid overproduced moment in which the women look like bad asses, before we hide the women back in the background and let the real heroes (the men) take over.

All of this despite the fact that in hindsight, of all of the avengers assembled there to fight Thanos that day (both male and female, alike), Scarlett Witch and Captain Marvel were the only one's canonically strong enough to stop Thanos. Yet, we can't have that, because a man needs to be the hero.

Like stop stealing women's W's. It happens all the time in shows like Naruto, in which the most powerful kunoichi will get caught up by the most stupid insignificant thing, so that a man can end up saving her and she becomes the damsel in distress.

The narrative of women can be strong but never as strong as men because men need to be the hero is weak and tired, tell a new story!!!

Especially, because it really isn't all that true anymore. After the industrial revolution and the boom of tech, women and men's physically strengths have become increasingly more similar for decades. Why, because very few people need to carry giant logs and chop down trees to survive anymore! You don't need to be swol to complete a spreadsheet.

I digress.

My point is what these scenes from ATLA and Marvel have in common. It's the reason why they are both cringe.

Men don't see women as women who are unique human beings with our own unique desires. Therefore, male writers force powerful female characters to embody male characteristics that appeal to men.

You know all that flexing and all the abs and the sweat and the thirst trap scenes of half naked men like Thor and Captain America (even the scene with Sokka in it). Do you think those scenes are for women? Well, they are not. They are for men. Men get hard-ons for these kinds of scenes, and these scenes are specifically created for men and the male gaze.

Then they try to extend this to female characters, to show that they are feminists. However, this completely ignores the female gaze and female motivation.

The scenes really are women quietly asking for permission (not really) and then men loudly given women permissions to stand out and be powerful, but only in a way that satisfies the male gaze. Which considering the fact that men are socially conditioned to like feminine or overly sexual women, I have no idea who these scenes appeal to!!!

Like bro... read a freaking book. Learn about history!!! Real history!!! Women do not need the permission of men to be powerful, intelligent, strong, tactful or ambitious. Women have already been all of these things since the dawn of time.

Therefore, women don't need weird cameos that break up the pacing of the story or scenes of little girls playing sports, getting knocked down, and getting back up to feel seen. Women and girls do not need to be convinced that we are powerful. We already know it. We've been working in the background for centuries while men have taken credit for our labors, efforts, and endeavors.

All we need is for men to get the hell out of our way! We can see it right now with education and employment. Ever since women were allowed to attend school, women have outperformed men in education is almost every subject (and men and women are at par with each other in Math and Science). Women are also out enrolling men in college 2:1.

So instead of giving women 5 minutes of permission to be powerful in movies and shows and embuing them with masculine characterists, write a compelling female character from the beginning of the show. Develop her character as a person, who has to deal with the unique intersectionality of being a woman. Don't make her whole personality being a woman.

And if you cannot, write a compelling female character, then get a woman to do it!

End Rant. Thank you for attending my TED Talk.

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inqorporeal · 1 year

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Guys (gender neutral, affectionate), I am begging you to please stop leaving comments on fics that haven't been updated in a bit asking if they're abandoned.

No work is truly abandoned. Unfinished works live on in the writer's mind, sometimes fondly but sometimes they lurk in the dark corners. We know they're there. You may think you're reminding us that they exist, but believe me: we know. We know. They surface every time we have a spare moment, reminding us of their existence, that we haven't given them closure.

Sometimes there's a reason we stopped work: maybe the skill to finish it was beyond us; maybe we realized we didn't like the corner we wrote it into and the potential ending dissatisfied us; maybe the IP we're writing in no longer brings us joy; maybe we decide there's something of higher priority to focus on; maybe real life is getting in the way. There's millions of good and reasonable explanations for it. And yet even when we provide these explanations, people come back, over and over.

Well yes but-?

But what about this other-?

So why not-?

Why can't you just-?

I just want to know-!

Stop. It's tiresome. You're not the first to roll into out ask boxes. You won't be the last. You're not special for digging up an obscure fic and thinking we forgot about it. I know more than one writer who has orphaned or straight up deleted fics because people wouldn't let them lie, like Frankenstein digging up corpses in a graveyard hoping to create new life.

Before you ask if the writer intends to continue the work, check the comments; check the writer's notes; check their social media to see if they have already answered your question. And if you want to encourage them, instead consider telling them what you like about the fic; it comes across as much less pushy and demanding than "do you plan to continue this? is it abandoned?"

We create for ourselves first, and the readers second. We do not exist purely to create content to be consumed. Being treated like we do is tiring and contributes more to our burnout and the death of our work than you might think.

With all sincerity,

A tired writer who wishes they had the spoons

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bloodboundsiege · 8 months

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project update/where i've been/other stuff

Hey everyone! I know it's been a loooooooong time since I posted anything or gave any updates, but since I just updated the demo with some bug fixes--you can go here or to the pinned post on my page to download the new patch if you want to take the demo out for another spin--, I figured it was as good a time as any to talk about what's been going on.

This is probably going to turn into a long post, so if you don't want to read all of that, here's the tl;dr: Bloodbound: The Siege is still underway, I just was going through a really difficult period. Thank you all for your support of me and your continued enthusiasm for this project. It doesn't go unnoticed, and I'm really thankful for it.

Where I've Been

You know how sometimes someone will take forever to post an update to their fic and then the author's note will be like hey, sorry it took me so long to upload a new chapter, I was kidnapped? This is nothing like that. It's a lot less juicy, but I figured I'd still talk about it.

When I first started working on this visual novel, I was doing some freelance social media work, living with my family, and had a ton of free time on my hands. I would literally wake up every day and sit at my desk for 9+ hours a day, working on this project, making music, or writing screenplays.

At the end of last summer, I moved across the country, started grad school, and started working a pretty demanding job to support myself. It was also the first time since 2020 that I was doing any kind of significant socializing, and I was still working on this project, along with my other endeavors.

I felt like I was killing it. It didn't matter that wasn't getting a lot of sleep or really taking care of myself. I was somehow doing everything I wanted to do and needed to do.

And then...it caught up with me, right around when I released the demo for BBTS. I was having panic attacks at work, barely making deadlines for school, and it would take me half the day to work up the energy to get out of bed. It felt like I could do was sit in my room, watch Netflix, and doomscroll. Everything else was left to the wayside. Even though I was able to finish out my spring semester with good grades and left my job on good terms, I was hanging by the skin of my teeth. I also had some really messy stuff going on in my personal life that exacerbated these issues.

I had to spend this summer trying to rebuild myself and find a balance again. I'm in a much better place now--I started working out, which has been great for my anxiety, I quit vaping, I'm starting to be more conscious about what I put in my body and how it affects me, but I had to prioritize myself and my well being in order to get to this place.

As a side note, the experience of announcing this project and releasing this demo has been...strange. I put a lot of work into this project, from teaching myself how to code to writing the story, and this is the most visible thing I've ever put out. I was hoping maybe fifty people would play this demo and be like cool, but it's a much higher number, and a lot more feedback.

And that's both really cool and really scary. Cool because it's awesome that people appreciate something I created. Scary because now I want to make it good. I don't want to disappoint you all.

A Brief Tangent On How People Interact With Fandom Creators Sometimes

Even though I'm not always super active/interactive on here, I really enjoy getting asks about the project, whether it's hype, an inquiry, or feedback. Even if it's negative feedback, I know that it's coming from a good place. I also am really appreciative of messages that are either letting me know about bugs, or expressing any concerns about the story I am planning to tell. I don't take those kinds of things personally at all.

But I have noticed--and this is not just exclusive to the Choices fandom--that sometimes, people will interact with fic writers, fan devs, or really anyone that makes any kind of ContentTM in a way that isn't any of the aforementioned things I described above. Sometimes, the way that people interact with me--or other creators--is demanding, passive aggressive, or outright hostile. Other times, it may be well-intentioned, but it still feels like it's crossing some boundaries.

I'm extremely thankful to everyone who has reached out to check on me, but there's a huge difference between doing that and accusing me of abandoning this project and framing it as a deep moral failing on my part. I know I'm not the only person in this fandom that's experienced this. It really doesn't feel good, and it isn't helpful. Even if I had just decided I was no longer feeling BBTS and decided to dip, that isn't okay.

I additionally ask that in the event of another pause in posting on this project, people not reach out to me on my personal tumblr to ask about the status of this project, or to tell me to check my DMs or inbox on this page, or anything of that sort. To my recollection, I have never posted the URL my personal tumblr on this page. Like I said before, I'm appreciative of the fact that people are passionate about this project, but it's important to me to be able to keep this space and that space separate from one another.

I would absolutely understand any of this kind of behavior if there was money involved. If I had investors to answer to, or people pre-ordered the completed game from me and paid up front, people would absolutely be within their right to be frustrated with the radio silence that's been coming from my end and reach out to ask about the status of the game, or even be upset with me. But that isn't what's happening here.

This project is supposed to be fun. There's something really liberating about the fact that I can't ever monetize this or put it into a portfolio. It means it's for me and for you. We're all just supposed to be here because we like being here.

But part of the reason why the burnout and the anxiety I was experiencing spilled over into this project was because of these more pushy interactions. It made me feel like I was letting people down, or like the stakes of this were higher than they actually are.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, or like a diva. Like I said, I'm really appreciative of the reception of this project, and I'm grateful for any and all feedback, inquiries, or curiosities. But I just ask that everyone be respectful, and I don't think that's an unreasonable request. We'll all have a good time--both here and in the larger Choices fandom--if we're kind to one another, and if we're respectful of each other's boundaries.

Is Bloodbound: The Siege Still Happening?

Bloodbound: The Siege is still happening, but it is not going to be coming out this year, unless I somehow gain the ability to freeze time. Most of the sprite work is done--though I might do another round of retrofitting sprites into their respective dialogue boxes because I'm a glutton for punishment--and I'm pretty close to completing the more detailed outline of this story.

While I'm not ready to do this yet, it is extremely likely that by the end of the year, I'll start seeking out additional help for this project, mostly with programming. There will be a more detailed post about that when the time comes.

Until then, it's good to be back. Catch you on the flipside.

#bloodbound #bloodbound the siege #bbts #playchoices #choices stories you play #update #text

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softlyspector · 8 months

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yeah, I have to say - "fandom" on tumblr is really making it hard to feel good about writing (well — creating generally, but writing especially it feels like). I stopped writing reader fics last year because there was no engagement and it didn't take too long before I got asked if I would ever write again, but then when I did finally post a fic again, nothing.

People just don't understand or respect fic writers any more, and I am so tired of seeing so many mutuals and friends get burned out of writing when it's their safe place and escape, all because of how isolated yet demanding fandom feels anymore. It's utterly ridiculous.

Anyway, I hope things look up for you Becca, you deserve all the most wonderful things in the world 💜✨

Hi, Nym 💕 I think there's been a drastic change in fandom in the last couple of years. Like, maybe I'm wrong, but I think especially in the last few years, fandom in general has kind of been brought into the mainstream and normalized, which is good, no one should be ashamed of writing or reading fic, of making fan art, etc. But with it, I think some of the understanding of what it means to be apart of a community has gotten watered down or lost altogether. Like, you cannot consume and consume and consume and never give anything in return and be surprised when there's nothing and no one left.

Like, everything is commodified now, everything is for sale. So how much can something be wroth if it's free? If someone is doing all this labor for free, then it must not be very valuable right? Especially, with this content, influencer, mindset everyone seems to have.

And it's just...it's not even labor. I'm not sharing some job with you, I am sharing love!!! We love the same thing, so much that I wrote like a billion words about it!!! Don't you want to write a billion words about it too, can't we scream about it together??

I don't know if I'm making any sense, but it really does feel like artists, writers, creatives in general are being, well, used a lot of the time. We give our souls away, our hearts, and because its free, it isn't worth anything, it's not worth returning anything to.

#bec talks #theres also like a right way to talk about things now??? and there's something so soulless about that

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martyrbat · 10 months

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But, having just reread the stuff, some of it for the first time since the original publication, I'm mildly amazed at how cohesive it all is. It really does form a single, unified narrative—what today would be called a graphic novel. Does that mean that when we introduced Talia we knew that eventually her father would be presumed dead, and she and Batman would finally enjoy a walk into the sunset? No, certainly not. Rather, I'm sure, we understood the characters well enough to keep them from doing anything alien to them and, with that as a constant, the narrative grew organically, each incident suggesting others. The overall design was never imposed on the material; rather, it emerged gradually as we produced the individual episodes. We were guys sticking tiles up on a wall, just interested in covering the space, and after a while, Look at that! Darn if we didn't make a mosaic! This kind of process is denied to storytellers who create conventional plays, movies, novels-forms that demand structure with clearly defined beginnings, middles, and ends. It lets the writers and artists share, at least to some extent, in the audience's pleasure of anticipation, of being surprised by what happens next. It can be an absolute joy.

(full ID below cut)

[ID: an afterword by Danny O'Neil on the collective comic ‘Batman: Tales of The Demon’ from 1991. Text reads:

If you're reading these words after you've finished the stories collected in this volume, you may have noticed some things. For example, you may have observed that although the hero is often driven and desperate, he isn't quite as grim as today's Batman. He banters with the bad guys, he essays the occasional mild wisecrack, he is more openly compassionate. Nor is he quite so superhumanly competent; would the present Batman ever be flattened by Molly Post and her lousy skis? Not likely. You may wonder about some of the captions—the alliteration, the chatty little asides. (“Did you catch the key to the mystery, as did the Batman?” a typical one asks.) But then, you surely remind yourself, these tales first appeared almost two decades ago, at a point in Batman's 50-year history when a lot of the elements of his persona were still being defined, as he was evolving from the cheery, sun-drenched do-gooder of the 1950s and mid-1960s to the present Dark Knight. As for those captions...like Batman himself, comic book conventions and technique were changing; in particular, many young comics professionals were influenced by Marvel Comics' Stan Lee, whose writing teems with friendly comments to the reader. And almost nobody working in the medium would admit, under torture, to taking the work seriously. In a cutesy mood? a writer might ask himself. Then knock out a cutesy caption. It's only a comic book...

Okay, granting all that, you still have a question. You've given the stories titled “The Vengeance Vow” and “Where Strike the Assassins” your close attention and you want to know how the Batman found the Bronze Tiger in the hospital after the fight with the Sensei's thugs. Well, try this: it was simple detective work. He knew, from the amount of blood on the ground, that the Tiger was badly wounded and so would probably seek help at the nearest medical facility. The hospital was it.

Not satisfied? No problem. There are other possible answers. (He spotted the killers and tailed them, hoping they'd lead him to the Tiger? He was able to follow the trail of the blood itself? He questioned someone who saw where the Tiger went?] You might be able to think of something better than any of these. Me—I don't know if I had an explanation and forgot to include it, or if some months passed between the writing of the two stories and I didn't remember that the Batman's fortuitous arrival at the Tiger's bedside hadn't already been explained, or what. Maybe I would have fretted if I'd noticed the omission after the story was published—maybe I even did. I don't know. We weren't taking notes back then. We were just dashing from assignment to assignment, producing monthly entertainments and, frequently, having a pretty good time doing it. What we weren't doing was expecting that those entertainments would ever be collected in a single, rather portly book with an introduction by Sam Hamm and a postscript by the undersigned.

Of course, it does cause the occasional glitch, such as Batman arriving at a hospital without anyone, maybe including the writer (maybe especially the writer), knowing exactly how he got there.]

#HEY REMEMBER WHEN COMICS WERE GOOD AND THE CHARACTERS HAD PERSONALITY AND STORIES WERE ALLOWED TO PROGRESS AND BUILD NATURALLY #REMEMBER WHEN COMICS WERE TREATED AS AN ARTFORM AND OPPORTUNITY TO DEVELOP A STORY IN THIS UNIQUE EXPERIENCE OF AUDIENCE ENGAGEMENT #INSTEAD OF BEING BASED ON WHATS EASIEST TO SALE AND STIFLING CREATIVITY OVER CAPITALISM #CAUSE YEAH :/#c: batman: tales of the demon

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wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart · 5 months

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Weird writer asks: 7, 15, 19!

Thank you so much for asking @grapenehifics 💙

From this ask game.

7. what is your deepest joy about writing?

Getting lost in the story, that place where I lose hours at a time because I'm telling and creating a story. That place is my happy place.

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

Yes I overwrite my SW books, but only those, all others are off limits (they are something sacred to me). No I don't dog-ear my books anymore, but I did for years, and reading in the bath is a bit inconvenient... No I would never judge people for where, how, when or what they read, never, so of course we can remain friends.

19. tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I've always been a storyteller, one of my first memories is telling stories.

I wrote my first stories and poems as a teenager with the dream of becoming a writer, but RL demanded/expected something else from me, so I never found the courage to do it. Part of this was that I didn't have anyone to share this passion with (I never found my people).

There are other factors, but the bottom line is that it took more than ten years before I finally started writing.

Only after I fell into the SW fandom did I finally find the courage to write. I love that with writing fanfiction I don't have to take it "so" seriously, that I can play with it and practice while finally having others to share it with.

That's where I am now, enjoying creating, playing and sharing. One day, I don't know when, I want to write the original story that has been with me since I was a teenager... Someday.

Sorry that got a little emotional.

#ask game #answered ask #thank you for asking!#fandom #writing #fanfiction

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kamyru · 7 months

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"You're beautiful" (Nameless Manager x MC) (Shorts)

Word counting: 798

"I wish I could make you smile oftener, so I admire this aesthetic artwork your face is."

"How does it feel to wake up every day, go to the bathroom, and see that you have a face like yours? I hope you know you are more than beautiful, cute, astonishing, or alluring. People haven't yet invented words powerful enough to describe you."

"Every time I talk to you, I wish to stop the time so I can admire the grace with which you use your words and how they blend in sentences. You can insult me, and I'm going to be in awe at how pleasant your voice is, and how smart your words are."

The manager had no idea what he had done for MC to talk to him like this. At first, he thought that she did it to manipulate him later. But she had never asked for anything. Later, she heard her complimenting his proteges, too. Anyone else could have felt jealous, but not him. It was a pleasure to hear someone waste their words on him, especially because all the compliments were personalized. MC took her time to understand every one of them. Besides complimenting their appearance, she never forgot to admire their actions and thank them every time they did a good job. Not a person could breathe near her, and don't hear anything good.

Except for one person.

"If heaven exists, it probably tastes like this," Claude said while munching on MC's pancakes.

"I hope not because it wouldn't be good enough."

"Can't believe that you are working for a fashion magazine and you haven't been invited to be a model yourself, considering how cute you are, especially when you are smiling," Wataru told MC after all the crew of his photoshoot left.

"They would get broke in less than an hour if I was their model."

"Sometimes I wish you had never disappeared on me in our childhood so I spent more time with you," Ryoga didn't have enough guts to say it to MC's face. Instead, he chose the cutest flower in his garden and left it in front of MC's room with a message attached.

"Don't waste your wishes and time thinking about me," MC whispered to herself after reading this.

"I am going to work hard so that I will be the most popular and in-demand actor the moment your essays are published and you are the most popular Japanese writer," Mikoto told MC after reading one of her works.

"You won't live long enough for me to get to that level."

"You are unique enough for me to write songs with you in mind and put as much warmth as I am capable of," Kotoha whispered once, hoping that MC didn't hear him.

"I am sorry to disturb you from your process of creating real masterpieces," MC whispered back.

The manager didn't hear every interaction of this type, yet he heard enough to understand what was happening. He didn't plan on fighting for a nuisance's well-being. He wanted to get rid of MC the moment she entered the residence. So, he couldn't explain to himself what was happening in front of him.

At five in the morning, the manager came to get the group to the filming of their new MV. After seeing them ready and more alluring than ever, he had to fight their fan service. A job he got pretty good at.

What he didn't expect was to see a disheveled MC who probably didn't sleep all night, wearing the oldest pajamas a twenty-three-year-old woman can own while drinking some milk in the middle of a barely illuminated kitchen.

This creature looked at him as if she saw a monster. Suddenly, her cheeks colored pink, and the manager could swear he heard her curse quietly.

"I'm sorry that you have to begin your day with this sight, especially after admiring the beauty of gods five minutes beforehand," MC said.

Instead of answering, the manager's first reaction was to laugh. MC gulped and put away the glass of milk she had in her hands. She felt guilty for showing her face in front of someone in that state. Yet, after being awake all night, she needed something to ease her hunger. It was a bad idea. All she had to do now was to crawl to her room in shame. But before she could do it, a hand caught her wrist.

"You're beautiful, probably the only person who can rock this look."

And as if the words weren't enough, the man patted MC's head. He moved a few strands of hair from her forehead and admired her face for a few seconds.

Plust members had never seen their manager's cheeks as red as after he returned.

#plust loving u so true #plust #nameless manager #voltage inc

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pokemon-ash-aus · 1 year

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Critique is most valuable when an artist ASKS for it. You didn't ask, and people are acting like you're ungrateful.

I get not being into something, especially a fan work. But sometimes you have to look at something and ask what it's SUPPOSED to be before giving someone advice about it.

Is this supposed to be a structured series of AU comics, or whatever that first anon wanted? No? Then telling you to MAKE it that wouldn't even be a helpful criticism. People really forget fan work and social media in general can be for FUN.

I like your AUs btw, I'm just mad at the poor critique etiquette from some of the anons you got.

It is very strange lol

I can see where they come from, i have an adundance of AU's that i seemingly make zero content for.

But the issue with that is- I do.

Some of them are strictly story driven, making comis doesnt feed into it the right way a comic does, and sometimes its the opposite.

I could try to make a fully fledged out FT Fic but nothing can compare to how i draw it out.

But this is the the opposite for something like the Genderfluid AU. Sure you can get pictures of how they all look, but nothing can compare to the raw feeling i put out when writing it instead.

Not to mention, this all takes a lot of time XD

I aint no professional, im an amatuer artist and writer that was strictly self taught. I cant churn out 4 clean coherent comics in a day, nor can i spit out weekly fic updates at the same time.

I do this for fun, and im so greatful for the traction that I do get.

And heres the thing, i dont mind criticism even if i dont ask for it.

*Your Posing looks a bit off* *Hey this part was too fast paced* *I think you need to rephrase this.*

Are all very valid criticisms imo. But to look me in my eye and say that the AU's i make and create shouldn't be made because their isnt enough content, isnt a criticism. Its a demand.

I aint no pack mule Or working cow.

Saying "Oh i wish there was more for this AU* is vastly better than "None of your au's have ckntent, why do you make more."

The content i churn out is all inspiration based. Sometimes i have a fully fledged out script for a comic and sometimes i just wing it cause im in a certain mood.

I cant speak for everyone, but im sure its this way for many creators As well.

But thank you for sticking around and liking my au's :3 i really appreciate it!

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asirensrage · 9 months

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Bestie you can't write as well as you think you can

Also your response to that request was really nasty. They just wanted a fiction and you could have just said yes or no. You didn't need to start lecturing them. Nobody is asking you to write fanfiction. You write it because you want to and people ask for requests because they want to. Nobody can get paid for it so stop acting as if it s a huge problem if some one requests a fiction.

All because they have a blank blog? Maybe they reblogged it to a sideblog but you're so on your',re high horse you dont think of it. Also just generally you can't bring community to a reader by lecturing them. You're just going to make them do the opposite. I don't have problem with blank blogs or people liking my writing because maybe they like it to read later. I don't know what the problem is.

You call yourself a vending machine and be rude to readers because we don't meet your specific needs. Nobody asks you to write. Be grateful people are reading your trash and are actually asking you for fiction because a lot of people don't get an audience as it is.

I think you are deluded because you have an audience and it's quite high and you have a high opinion of your writing that not everyone agrees with but okay. People shouldn't request things from you or read it b cause too many people like on here like you demanding so much from the reader

I just want to read stories that is all. I don't want to waste my time with other stuff. You write. We read. You don't want to write a request say no. It's not hard. Just stop making up all these rules we have to follow.

I love that you come into this calling me “bestie” and straight up insulting me in the same line.

Babes, lbh, I write better than I think I can because like many I stare at my writing and go over it too often that it doesn’t seem new or interesting to me. I still manage to surprise myself with some of the lines I write though.

My response to that request wasn’t nasty or rude. I laid out the facts as I saw them and responded accordingly. As I said in the reply, the choice to have a blank blog is a personal preference, as is mine to decline the request and block blank blogs as I see fit. I didn’t lecture, because if I did, I’d come back with stats to prove my points. In terms of them possibly reblogging it to a sideblog, the fic they mention in the ask has only been reblogged by two other people, both of them long before the asker ever liked the original fic and sent the request.

Just because you don’t have a problem with blank blogs or likes, doesn’t mean that everyone shares that opinion. Fandom is supposed to be a community of people enjoying the same things. In order to create that, there has to be actual communication between people.

You’re right that no one’s asking me to write fanfic. I do it because I enjoy it, but just because we don’t get paid to write it doesn’t mean that it grants permission to people to treat us like an endless source of production without offering anything in return. It’s a two-way street. If people want to only consume and not offer feedback or at the least a reblog, they can go elsewhere. I know you’re young, you probably weren’t around years ago when fandom on here was different. You don’t understand how engagement has dropped and yet demand has increased. Just as you’re not obligated to reblog or comment on people’s works, we’re not obligated to write or even share any of it. Fic writers do this in their own free time and for their own enjoyment. Personally, I think readers should be grateful that we even share what we create.

Which brings me to this hilarious contradiction in your ask. “Be grateful people are reading your trash” and “I just want to read stories that is all.” If my writing was trash, people wouldn’t be reading it nor would I get requests for more. You wouldn’t be here complaining about my “high audience”. Let me make something clear, it’s not a matter of being ungrateful for my readers. I love all of them, especially the people who continue to encourage me. But that does not excuse the behaviour you’re displaying here or that others have shown to other authors. There are no rules. As I said before, it’s a personal preference of mine, but there is a relationship between authors and readers. And as in any relationship, when things are this one-sided, it’s a good time to set boundaries and cut ties if needed.

Finally, “I just want to read stories that is all. I don't want to waste my time with other stuff. You write. We read." You think clicking a button to reblog something is wasting your time? Or commenting on the post, in the reblog or in your tags about if you enjoyed it? It’s the easiest thing to do, especially on mobile when you can just do a fast reblog.

How about this, if you don’t want to waste your time, don’t waste ours. Stop reading fanfic, especially mine, because you sound like a dick.

#stop being a dick #anon #I said what I felt needed to be said #if you complain further I'm deleting the asks #sorry for the rant lol #no i'm not

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kingkatsuki · 1 year

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I didn't really know who to send this to and was just going to let it rot in my brain, but you commented on the lurker situation and it got me into a weird rabbit hole and made me kinda realize something a little tangential but I think still relevant. Maybe I'm old, but it seems like the attitude around fandom has shifted in the past decade or so from a collective of like minded people sharing and creating together, to a creator/consumer relationship that mirrors influencer culture. It's all transactional now. And that makes me sad tbh. Like participating in a community is so much fun and lurkers or those who just consume without engaging are really missing out, but also I hate seeing fan work creators getting treated like content farms. If you write or create art, nowadays that seems to define your fandom identity, it becomes your (unfair) barrier for participation and validation, and you're ostracized or forgotten and replaced if you can't continue to clear that hurdle for whatever reason. There never used to be this huge gulf between fandom creators and the other members, in my experience at least. It's like people now think they only have 2 options: be a creative person and provide a steady stream of free content (for an audience that expects/demands it from you) or mindlessly consume and only ever watch to the sidelines. But it's not true! Participate! Be a hype man! Curate your favorite fan content! Do something! Fandom is supposed to be more socialism, not capitalism! And maybe try to see the writers/artists as fellow fandom members first and content creators second. Like, you'd probably be frustrated too if people who you thought were your friends expected you to always be the only one to put in any effort to the relationship and then just ignore you if you asked for anything in return. It feels bad.

Nah, in a way I kinda feel the same. Sometimes I think I must be old because when I was younger and writing was primarily on quizilla/ff.net/LJ fics always used to have lots of comments, people would comment on each individual chapter and there were always bookmarks/faves etc.

In a way I want to say the shift in fandom has meant that people are more inclined to be lurkers now, or sites like tiktok/twt have made it easier for people to lurk. Or it could be that because there are more websites and years worth of content that it’s now easier to find fics and consume them mindlessly without worrying where you’re going to get your next fix.

But then there are sites like wattpad, and I know that everyone seems to hate wattpad for various reasons, but honestly I feel like the way their site works is ingenious. It gives people who read fics the ability to comment on each paragraph of the fic, enabling them to almost “live react” as they read through. And then you can still leave a little comment at the end or discuss in the comments with other readers/the author. And if you go on there now, you’ll see the sheer number of comments some fics have.

I also think that if you’re in a smaller/niche fandom you’re more likely to get more meaningful responses/engagement for your content. I used to write for Z Nation for example, which is an extremely small community and I got maybe 10-50 notes on a fic but more than half would be people commenting or simply interacting with me? Because people were grateful to find fics for their fave fandom? Whereas Bakugou there’s a million Bakugou fics so why should someone bother interacting with anyone when they can just scroll to the next one?

So it’s websites like that which make me think it’s partly that fandoms and the way we receive content has shifted, but I also think it’s people being selfish and ungrateful too. Because they just want to mindlessly consume and they don’t think about the living, breathing person behind the screen.

But for me personally, I’ve made some of my best friends by commenting on/reblogging their fics or just talking to them? So it’s like why wouldn’t you want to interact with people who are the same as you? Who enjoy the same things? Or why wouldn’t you want to do something so simple (and free) that could make someone’s day?

#jo talks

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typeoapologist · 4 months

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Rich of you to make jabs at other authors for having feelings about the types of comments they get when you barely publish fic yourself but go off I guess. You’re obviously the moral authority here 🙄 it’s always the ones who consume consume consume

well hello there, salty opinion "ANON" 😉

i'm kinda flattered that you've so overestimated how much engagement this blog gets you really thought i wouldn't know who you are. unless the point was for me to know it's you? idk.

the better question is why you're still coming to my blog!

we don't follow each other by intentional choice, so you had to come here on purpose, deliberately, to check on me and it's just really mixed signals, y'know? i'm reportedly psychologically damaging and super awful to even know—so it's baffling why you'd take extra steps to make sure you still do.

but whatever, let's cait corrain this shit! i'll pretend you're truly a stranger that's come to my neglected cobwebby ask box to chastise me for having an opinion you don't like (that you wouldn't even know, if you weren't here checking on me).

yeah dude, have whatever feelings about your comments that you want, i personally find it eye-rollingly pretentious and kinda shitty when fanfic writers go on preachy long-ass diatribes about how awful it is to get a comment (something most fic writers generally agree is a Good and Desired Event) that asks for more or when the next update will be.

funnily enough, i actually agree with the complaint foundation—if the reader's already taking the time to leave a reply it isn't hard to add a little feedback on what they liked and it goes far for the author. i do my best as a reader to always leave something in the comments even if it's just a quick note, because i know it can be really disheartening to put the work into creating something that doesn't evoke any thoughtful reply.

i just also think behaving like you're entitled to a certain type of response to the product of your hobby is wildly self-important and when you post a free thing to the public internet you don't get to control how people interact with it.

most ao3 readers don't reply at all, they barely leave kudos! if someone enjoyed your work enough that they want to read more from you and took the time 80% of your readers won't to tell you as much, imo it's pretty narcissistic to publicly go off about how much they suck and their comment is worse than useless, actively harmful to you, because it didn't sufficiently kiss your ass over your efforts they 'consumed for FREE'

(i super don't get the obsession with how readers get to read fic for free—it's free because no one paid you to write fucking fanfic? that's a zero sum. if you want them to pay for the privilege of reading your work, go get paid to write it)

you do know it's not a balanced thing, right? like, as a writer you need readers or it's just a diary you're composing, but readers don't actually need you to write, do they? there's always something else available to read

must be because i barely ever publish, i just can't possibly comprehend the unique burden and stress of being under that kinda demand. btw, is there a specific posting cadence or threshold that would entitle me to have my own opinion in the tags on my own blog posts? 😂 just curious.

#anon asks #or 'anon' asks at least #so funny that's the thing you chose to zero in on #some random tags #if you're so tired of being consumed stop producing #but you don't get to dictate the response you get when you choose to participate in the internet #sorry

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zeroducks-2 · 10 months

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To give a serious response to your last reblog, I think most people (maybe not the VOCAL majority) like to exclude tags they don't want to see, and then if something is tagged incorrectly you do just scroll past or stop reading the fic when something comes up. I know there are people who complain about it like it's the end of the world but yeah it is a common thing among most of my internet people to be like "aw man I didn't know [thing] was gonna be in this fic, I guess I'm gonna go read something else now" and I don't really see any problem with that. (As long as they aren't like harassing the author about it or anything obviously, which again I'm sure some people do and that's not cool)

Fair warning, this was supposed to be a quick response and it turned into a long ass ramble about purity culture and anti behavior, sorry about that. It is a long post so feel free to just skip to the TL:DR.

I agree with you, and as I mentioned I really really like the tagging system and the culture of putting content warnings and trigger warnings over content to help people avoid what they dislike and/or actively harms them. I like it in general, not just on AO3.

For what concerns AO3 I know that most people don't cause any kind of issue about it. I too had a situation where an anonymous guest commented to ask me to tag something in my fic. I hadn't thought about it because it was kind of just a vague mention but to them it seemed to be a big deal, so I apologized and added the tag (and they were really nice and polite about it anyway) and that was it. I don't mind people asking me to tag stuff. As an author I'm not omniscient and I don't have a team or even just an advisor to give a second opinion on my stuff, and tell me what I might have missed in the tags. So by all means do say it if you prefer this or that tag being added to my stories. I might have come off as someone who has issues with the tagging system and the culture around it, and I understand that it might be the case since my reblog was worded a bit harshly. I am sorry about that.

What I really was complaining about is people adopting anti or anti-ish behavior around fanfictions and fanfiction writers, acting like the fact that they come across content they dislike is the poster's fault when they're unable to curate their own online experience, and/or take responsibility as grown adults over the possibility of coming across something they dislike. At the same time holding fanfiction writers to absurd standards when it comes to laying out what their fics contain before someone engages with it, while it would be considered absurd to demand something like this from a novel, a movie, a videogame or anything non-transformative really. And not only there's the exclusion system on AO3 that helps people filter content they don't like, but also I want to highlight the fact that someone who is writing a fanfiction does not owe anyone anything in terms of tagging their stories. Tagging by itself is a form of courtesy that is not mandatory for most kind of content except the so called Archive Warnings, and even then you can avoid tagging anything by simply using "Creator chose not to use warnings" - which I'm sure you know means "this story contains potentially upsetting themes, proceed at your own risk". Most people will just politely ask to add tags, and most people will just tag their stories anyway. I very rarely ever came across a fic which was severely untagged to the point of making me wonder if the OP actually knew tags existed, and how they worked in the first place. I think it happened maybe twice and I've been reading fanfictions since AO3 didn't even exist. But there also are people who will harass the author if they didn't tag their fic "properly", and by properly it often times means that a character mentioned something the reader dislikes, or maybe a character they hate makes a very brief appearance, or there is a random OC created for a specific situation. Or anything that doesn't suit their tastes really, and that they demanded was laid out in front of them so they could avoid the gigantic effort of clicking on a story, read the first chapter and deciding by themselves if they liked it or not. These people are the ones who act like fanfiction writers and content in general should cater explicitly to them. Just check the comments of that post, you'll see an array of folks complaining that "authors do this on purpose!" and that who doesn't tag their fic properly is a terrible person.

There's this one saying that it's "so frustrating" and "really inconsiderate" on the author's part, referring to a fanfiction which has one of the characters genderswapped. Now I really, really dislike genderswap (nothing against it or against who likes it, but it really is not my cup of tea both in fics and in fanarts) and I generally stay away from it. But realistically, how long is it going to take me to realize that a fic has been written with one or more genderswapped characters? A couple of sentences? Maybe an entire paragraph? How "frustrating" is it gonna be to spend something like 3 minutes figuring that this story is not for me, and move on with my life?

It's not frustrating, and it's not inconsiderate on anyone's part. Sure I too would prefer it to be tagged, but it's a Me problem if I can't accept that I might end up seeing something I dislike on the internet, and it's not not a random fanfic author's responsibility to make sure I don't encounter something that makes me turn up my nose.

There is in general a lot of pressure on fanfic authors, in some fandoms more than others, and the whole "you have to absolutely nail the tags" conversation is another layer of said pressure. I know people that won't post longfics because they're unsure about the tags, especially of the fact that tags might change over time, and end up not posting at all. People deleting their entire fics over these kinds of demands because they can't meet them, because they don't know how their fic is going to change from here to the 15th chapter. People having to disable or moderate comments, take hiatuses, abandon fics - sure maybe the comment insinuating they were a bad person for not tagging "there's a random policeman OC in your detective AU" is not the main reason why they abandoned the fic, but it surely did not help.

This also leads to another phenomenon, which is that of over-tagging. Of people tagging rape/noncon "just to be safe", or tagging underage because "this character is 18 but there still is a big age gap", and the likes. That's not how tags work, that's actually how the tagging system gets bloated and becomes useless, because after the 4th fic which is tagged Rape and the rape doesn't happen, what often occurs is that the reader finds another fic tagged Rape and doesn't take it seriously. But in that one case the rape does happen and they get triggered, and it's an awful experience both for the reader and for the writer in case they get harassed over it (and this specific instance happened to me personally, because apparently the Rape warning on my story wasn't enough since the rape actually happened).

It's part of the reason why the Dead Dove: Do Not Eat tag exists and got so popular. If your story has some background/minor/past/mentioned/implied/referenced Thing happening, and you tag it as a Major Thing that happens, people who write stories which actually have Thing as a major topic don't know what to do, and end up using the Dead Dove tag which per se doesn't mean anything, it's just a way to say "MIND THE DAMN TAGS AND DON'T COME AT ME!". No one should feel forced to use the Dead Dove tag by the way. The Archive Warnings and the tagging system in general exist for a reason. If you're reading this and you've been harassed, just block the fuckers and ignore them.

So anyway, while I tend to be really irked by over-taggers especially when I'm looking for a specific kink, I don't really blame them. Purity culture kills artistic expression by making artists afraid of harassment if they post their work, among other things. I prefer an over-tagged fanfiction (or an under-tagged one) over no fanfiction at all.

TL;DR - I agree with you anon, I'm just mad at people who harass authors over tags. I don't think there's anything wrong with politely asking someone to tag their fanfiction, and if they repeatedly don't do it over major stuff that needs to be tagged, just block them and/or report them to the AO3 TOS.

#this is all purity culture's fault btw #tags have always been a courtesy and are not by any means mandatory (except Archive Warnings but even then there's the orange one)#people who cannot handle this are not able to handle fanfictions in general #I'm sorry but if you feel so upset if you find a tiny thing that you don't like in a fanfiction that is YOUR problem not the author's #you're free and capable of clicking away from that fanfiction no one is stopping you #and if you end up harassing the author instead of clicking away or politely ask to add a tag you're a fucking asshole #ramblings #my asks #fandom things #long post

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cookinguptales · 2 years

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I’m so glad we will officially get the new episode tonight. The week between episode 6 & 7 was no fun at all. Usually I looove seeing all the fanart and reading all the different thoughts in between episodes. But this time I tried to stay away from everything in fear of getting spoiled. ☹️ Stupid leak.

Yeah. And the fact that we may or may not have had a leak of parts of 9&10 makes you worried to look anywhere. I wish I at least knew if there was a real leak or not so I'd know how careful to be.

It's so bizarre. I've never been in a fandom where the leaks were this bad. I've never experienced anything like it. It makes me feel so bad for the creators. I don't think a lot of people understand how psychologically taxing it is when your work leaks. Some of that is because it can materially affect your career... Like even if someone is gonna watch/rewatch later, those same-day numbers are crucial. If even one person puts off watching the official release for a day or two because there's less urgency, that's starting to fuck up numbers.

I mean, I work in publishing, not tv, but I've seen authors get royally screwed because their book release was fucked up. Leaks or booksellers putting it on the shelf too early or people from one country buying it from another country with a different release date... Often the consumption numbers are monitored during a very specific period and if superfans are obtaining the media outside of that period, it won't be counted. (See: tv ratings, first-day streaming numbers, social media engagement numbers during premieres, presales, bestseller lists, etc.) And then if those numbers aren't reflecting the reality of how much is being consumed, it doesn't really matter. Those are still the numbers that are going to be used for negotiating contracts in the future.

Plus, like... it's just emotionally taxing to see your work leaked. Maybe only part of it leaked and it makes your work look bad and you can't adequately defend it without spoiling everything or breaking an NDA. Maybe it's leaked in a form that isn't so great (like a low quality video, an unedited draft, etc.) and you hate that this will be people's crucial first impression. But really, the worst part is no longer knowing who to trust. I know a fairly big-time author who had a trusted friend read over one of her books to edit it... then found out her friend had passed that unedited draft around to a bunch of her friends. She realized that her friend didn't respect her or her livelihood and mostly just wanted bragging rights. Now she's extremely wary about making new friends or asking for help with her manuscripts, and it's honestly really sad.

I imagine it'd be even worse if you're working on a production with so many moving parts. Do you trust your fellow actors? Fellow writers? The editors? The people working in your office? The friends who come in your house? I can't imagine the kind of tension you'd be working under when you know that leaks just keep getting out and you don't know where they're coming from. : /

And then, y'know, people are like "well, if I watch it same-day as well, that's not hurting anything, right?" but people wouldn't post leaks if other people didn't watch them, and creating demand for that kind of thing is... bad.

Like I don't like leaks from a spoiler standpoint, sure, but you start to gain a greater appreciation for how bad a leak can be when you're comforting an author crying at their kitchen table because their book release got fucked and they have contract negotiations this year...

tbh, I don't understand the mentality behind leaks at all. I have access to a lot of media often years before it comes out (between my editing work and also the paid tv/movie focus groups I often do) and I can't imagine leaking it. I guard the privacy of my clients pretty zealously. No saving unpublished manuscripts to the cloud, no offering identifying info while I'm working, etc. It's actually something I find kind of stressful, the idea that I could accidentally ruin someone else's livelihood if I'm not careful enough... The idea of doing it on purpose or through carelessness makes me cringe...

And then if I did do something by accident, like those WWDITS auditions saved with the wrong privacy settings, the idea of people finding that fuck-up and passing it around instead of letting me know so I could take it down... Like damn, when I think about the people who may never work in this industry again because people just wanted to find info on their favorite show faster... Genuinely kind of upsetting.

That said, the constant leaks, the way that no one secured the usernames for characters used onscreen (which allowed for the Colin's YT hoax), etc. have me like. Bro, who is in charge here? Y'all have a fandom now and you're still acting like a baby show on your first season. They really probably need to hire someone for this.

#tbh I felt kind of bad about the gentle ribbing about the Colin CGI fuckup in the trailer this week #after it was taken down #genuinely hope no one got in trouble over that one #wwdits #replies #wwdits s4 spoilers

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chocochipbiscuit · 1 year

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🍭🌿🪄 for the writing meme if you'd like

🍭why did you start writing?

I'm going to start with why I stopped: I used to write a lot when I was younger; I loved making little books and stapling them together and wrote poetry and outlining ideas for the novel I was sure I was going to write someday. But somewhere around middle school, I was (very gently, very lovingly) encouraged by my parents to pick a more 'practical' career option. My dad pointed out that a lot of our favorite writers (I inherit my love of science fiction from my father and many of his favorites, even though my tastes have shifted over time) had backgrounds in science fiction, and at one point said something like "writers who only focus on writing aren't usually as interesting as writers who focus on living. Learn science, math, and other things, and you can always write on the side" along with pointing out that very few authors are able to make a full-time living 'just' writing.

(I want to repeat, again, my parents were very loving and supportive. They took me to art classes, museums, workshops, and gave me a lot of fun and exciting experiences. But that love also meant they wanted me to be successful and happy, and they thought that financial success might not guarantee happiness but at least it could guarantee comfort. They were doing what they thought was best, and I did what I thought was best at the time.)

So I basically stopped writing for about ten years. I did some play by post roleplaying forums and did on and off journalling and occasional poems but not much more.

Then in my mid-twenties, I was...honestly, pretty depressed and isolated. I had failed a class and had to take a year out of school. I was working. When I went back to school, I was working 20-30 hours a week on top of a demanding course load and rarely had time to see my friends, and even when I did see them, there was always a tiny bit of envy (that I worked very hard to control, because my friends didn't deserve that bitterness) that my old friends were all a year ahead of me and moving on with their lives. One of my new classmates sexually harassed me until I reported him to my academic advisor. Another of my classmates plagiarized my work. (The professor who caught it was incredibly kind; I had sent her an earlier draft because I wanted her feedback on it, and she realized that my classmate's submission essentially C&P chunks of text from mine.)

I self-soothed with fanfic. I didn't have time or energy to invest in 'new' media, or even to play a lot of video games, but fic was easy to read and devour. I started writing fic. And when I graduated and started a job when I worked graveyard shifts (thus continuing some of that isolation) readng and writing fanfic continued to be a way that I could connect to community and provided a much-needed creative outlet.

I started writing because I wanted to distract myself. I'm continuing to write because I've fallen in love with the process, the way it makes me think and re-evaluate characters and settings. (I'm even writing some non-fanfic things now because I want to experiment, to dabble and play with words in ways that aren't solely based on pre-existing media.)

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Happy! Sometimes emotionally drained (in a good way). I'm the kind of person who believes in making my own inspiration; if I only wait until I 'feel' like writing to sit down and write, I would hardly ever write! But if I have the time and energy, sometimes sitting down and trying to write a few words (usually with a 25 minute timer, go Pomodoro!) will be enough to start the flow.

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

Usually I want something sweet, then take a nap!

Thank you for the asks, I had fun! :D

(Asks are from this ask meme!)

#choco answers #the-cryptographer #ask memes

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degraman · 2 years

Text

Why Turkey become angry

Perhaps those of you who read all our posts noticed some changes.

We, or even me, the writer and the sprite artist of this game, want to clarify this point.

And to do that, we have to go back to the origins (not to the invention of tiramisu, but close). Namely, to the idea of creating a game. At first, the game was planned as a kind of adventure for six months, which will not greatly affect my work and life. Just a parody of the otomes that I've read.

I was young, naive and inexperienced. That's why I didn't build boundaries with both Degraman and the audience.

Due to the peculiarities of my character, I listened to everything that was written in all the social networks, listened to all the criticism.

The demanding part of the audience and my requests for the game grew every month. I fell into a circle of constant dissatisfaction with myself and Degraman. I wanted to make it better and better.

AND I WORKED, WORKED, WORKED. Completely forgetting about myself, my health and the world around me.

Degraman began to capture my heart, chopping off all other aspects of life with a greedy mouth.

We have never written about something really personal in social networks. It seemed inappropriate to our programmer, but I was just afraid to expose myself. I had heard a lot about the toxicity of the audience and therefore did not want to give a reason for trolling / bullying.

For this reason, we had our social networks as politely as possible all this time. And this led to the fact that I periodically left them when I could not remain friendly.

And that's why you didn't know that for the last six months before the release, I worked hating Degraman. Because I was burned out. I was tired of the negativity of dissatisfied people in social networks. Insanely tired of living this game alone. I was tired of working in the feeling that I'm deceiving people by constantly postponing the release.

Degraman became a pie that filled my whole mouth, not even letting me breathe.

And the apogee was the release in steam.

A release that, because of the fault of Steam, DID NOT WANT TO HAPPEN.

All the time that this was happening, I was constantly updating the release page, each time wishing that this four-times-cursed button to appear.

And already at some point I did not believe that it would appear.

Again feeling like I'm letting down everyone who was waiting for the release.

My nervous state was so high that I just couldn't sleep during these days. And I've been updating and updating this damn release page.

But the release did not bring relief either.

On the contrary, I felt even worse. After all, I finished this race, but dissatisfaction with myself only intensified. The strongest internal dissatisfaction clung to all the negative statements and flared up more and more.

After all, I was under the delusion that if I work hard, it will be appreciated. Therefore, I saw the problem precisely in the lack of effort.

I constantly asked myself - did I really not work enough, and therefore I continue to receive negative?

What I've already done wasn't enough? Were my sacrifices not enough?

Or was the problem with the Degraman itself?

Or is it me at all?

In such a heap of reflections, I got to the point that I wasted 3.5 years of my life, doing some bullshit. Which, as a result, brought neither satisfaction nor significant money.

All these years I could build a career and certainly not spoil my health.

And with this thought in mind, I abandoned the social networks again (and this time for a long time). Because I just couldn't be friendly and accepting.

I did not immediately understand what was the reason for my so strong nervous tension and inability to continue working.

And then I realized.

My so-hidden inconvenient personality traits were revealed wide open in a too personal Degraman.

Hypersensitive perception of reality, emotionality, excessive vulnerability.

My Achilles' heels, which I tried to hide from the audience for three years.

I have invested not only these traits of mine, but also everything else that makes up my personality.

I just opened myself up like a jar, gutting in the name of Degraman. Carrying everything that was written in it through myself and leaving myself in every aspect of the game.

And some part of the audience was not ready for such frankness - it just wanted another otome, the meaning of which should have been to spend a couple of evenings romancing of cute guys, and then forget it.

Instead of just fulfilling the minimal audience requests for the otome genre and avoiding all the slippery, trigger topics, I managed to neglect on these requests and run through most of the dangerous topics.

And I got a relevant reaction.

Someone, either not having received the mandatory genre minimum, or those who were triggered by dangerous topics, willingly devalued all my work and what I put into it.

And I just couldn't help but react to it, no matter what I did to myself.

Trying to accept such criticism and against the background of a lot of additional stress besides the game, I reached a nervous breakdown.

Now I realize that I simply could not accept this criticism - because it would mean that I was crossing out not only my hard work, but also my thoughts, my feelings, my worldview and attitude that I had invested in Degraman.

It is clear that with such attitude, it was impossible to continue making Degraman.

But the very idea that I should make an impersonal product was unbearable.

After all, I really loved Degraman, and I also didn't see the point of making standard games.

It was easier for me to decide that I was done with game development and game creation than accepting the need to adjust to the average player's requests.

And when I came to this soothing thought (namely, just forget Degraman and everything that happens around) - among the loud cries of discontent, I began to distinguish quiet voices.

The voices of the players who accepted my identity after seeing it between the lines of the game.

Those who were also afraid to show their painful susceptibility, but still, wrote to me. Because they wanted to support me by responding to a subconscious signal which was in Degraman.

It was these players who became the starting point in my work on myself. In the work on acceptance of myself and Degraman.

The response of the quiet players was so personal, so important - that it justified both my hard work and all the experiences I went through.

And this realization helped me to stop concentrating only on a handful of the loudest dissatisfied players and see the rest, loyal players. And the most important - their creativity.

It all helped me get rid of the stupid belief that a good job can't cause a negative reaction.

I finally realized that I was making Degraman not for making money, but for the sake of creative realization. And now I understand that I don't want to mix two sometimes completely incompatible goals.

I accepted Degraman. I love it and I am proud of my work.

And I will continue to work on it. I still have a lot of ideas and thoughts that I want to implement.

Degraman doesn't have to be liked by everyone.

And this realization untied my hands. And this applies not only to the game itself.

***

As we found out, I am an emotional and vulnerable person (and if I were different there would be no Degraman, lol).

That's why I can't help but react to the negative. (and how did you imagine it? That emotionality can be turned off? No, I don't have such a button, I'm not some kind of robot.)

These are the features of my personality that I held back too much until I had a nervous breakdown.

Of course, it would be possible to simply let someone to manage social networks.

But I don't want to do that - there are a lot of people who inspire me, support me and with whom I would like to communicate.

I'm pleased to work for them.

It would be extremely unfair to throw my favorites because of a small excessively toxic mass.

Therefore, I will lead social networks myself. The way I feel comfortable. Creating a warm and pleasant space primarily for myself and those who really love Degraman.

I'm not kicking anyone out and I'm not shutting anyone's mouth.

You can write whatever you want (within the law, of course).

But now I am free in my words and actions.

I am no longer afraid to expose myself by showing some of my reprehensible traits. I have already received a lot for Degraman.

Therefore, I will only ask you to be polite, pleasant, and then everyone will be nice and well :3

P.S. In no case do we consider anyone to blame for the current situation. Neither the audience deceived in expectations, nor us, who were not experienced enough to position ourselves correctly. It is what it is, we survived it and became smarter. Therefore, we do not hold a grudge against anyone)

P.P.S. Actually, I wanted to write a lot more. But the post would have been too long. And yet I will list what I did not mention in this article. Maybe some of these topics will interest you. I warn you right away, the topics are quite ambiguous and inflammatory.

Why I don't like unwanted criticism

Why do I consider the accusations of the Degraman's MC in stupidity is a manifestation of victimblaming and harassment of the most vulnerable and weak

Why do I consider the accusations of the Degraman's MC in sexuality is a slutshaming and discrimination by women against other women

Why does it annoy me so much to equate the demonstration of the problems of society and its individuals with their approval and romanticization

About creative ter** rizm (just in case I'll hide the word), its harm and danger to creative people

A witch hunt disguised as tolerance

#degraman

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