Imagine DND night with the beast pirates
During one session
Queen: Alright, you idiots somehow managed to kidnap the ambassador. You have him tied up in the dank, dark, dilapidated dungeon of the old capital ruins.
King: We need to interrogate him for answers, it's clear that he's working for the necromancer, he might know where he is. I roll for intimidation, *rolls* sixteen.
Queen: *mutters,* of course that is where you go with it, pervert. *Speaks loudly,* Your intimidation is only slightly successful. The ambassador knows his life is in danger and needs to flee. However, he refuses to answer your questions. He proclaims, "I will never tell you anything, I shall be loyal to my master till my last breath!"
Kaido: *really in the character of his half-orc barbarian* that can be arranged, little man.
Queen: *rolls for him* The ambassador stutters, his voice quivering, "I just received messages from him and carried out his bidding, I don't know where he is really."
Yamato: Perception check, I'd like to see if he is lying.
Queen: you'll need a nineteen or higher, Are you sure you want to do that?
Yamato: *rolls* nat 20.
Queen: you can tell he's lying big time, you can practically smell the nervous flop sweat on this guy from across the room.
You: I can make him talk, I cast heat metal on his bones.
Queen: heat metal only works on metal, it's literally in the name of the spell. It doesn't work on bones, since they're made of calcium.
You: and calcium is a soft metal.
Queen: what's your source.
You: *came prepared to dispute this because you've been looking for an excuse to use this knowledge for evil. You pulled out an advanced chemistry textbook with the page bookmarked and the section highlighted, and handed it to him.* Read it and weep.
Queen: *puts on his reading glasses to read it* ... Dear god, okay, you cast heat metal, roll a d10 for me.
You: *rolls* 8
Queen: and with a plus three modifiers... you heat his bones until he's screaming. The ambassador lasts only thirty seconds before he reveals that the wizard necromancer, Typhus the Terrible, lives in the glittering palace deep in the inky caverns of Roptian, which is guarded by the onyx dragon.
Sasaki: yer kind of scary sometimes.
You: thank you.
At another session
Queen: okay, you enter the throne room, and the evil wizard is lounging on the glittering throne, Typhus the Terrible.
King: I roll for initiative *rolls dice*
Queen: critical fail, your fighter is dead.
Kaido: *rolls for attack* critical fail.. Hmm, I hate this game.
Queen: you are also dead, (y/n), you are the only one left with any spell slots or turns left. What are you gonna do?
You: ... I would like to cast summon water
King: there goes that campaign.
Queen: that spell lets you fill a space with water, are you sure that's what you want to do.
You: yes
Queen: the room fills with water
You: I didn't cast it in the room.
Queen: where then did you cast it?
You: inside the wizard's skull.
The whole room: *horrified*
Queen: you can't do that
You: the spell specifies that it fills a space, and a skull cavity is a space. And you let me fill the chest down the hall with water, why not this dude's head?
Queen: ugh, hang on a minute, I need to figure out the damage.... You killed the boss... You flooded his brain with so much water, that his skull exploded.
King: that's the most messed up thing I've ever heard.
Kaido: *mutters* we've done worse.
You: you should be very glad I don't have a devil fruit
King: I'm starting to see that now, thank you.
List of Up-and-coming works || Masterlist || Twitter
Support me on Kofi and Patreon
294 notes
·
View notes
Guild Wars 2 OC stuff:
So I finally figured out the full body design for Vallotash (Mordremoth's Scion a.k.a. who Mourynn actually is)
They're more or less the same person, but it's complicated, but leans more to Vall believing she's Mourynn and kind of is since she inhabits her body and memories, but is technically an imposter and is very depressed and in denial about it. Inspiration from Jahai Bluffs: "Are you a dragon dreaming that it's a hero? If you were, how would you know?" (also it's my tumblr banner lol)
I'm still sketching out the origin story to explain how this happens, but for now here is this sketch bc I am happy with how this turned out and wanted to post it early. It's basically self preservation turned to parasitism to accidental death of host to unintentional identity theft out of guilt/tribute + memory absorption to make her think she's the sapling + amnesia about the whole event taking place over the span of a year stuck in the dream (to super condense her origin lore).
I'll finish these sketches once I'm done her origin story pages, or if I get possessed to do it earlier bc I'm still happy with how this turned out and might want to keep working on it sooner, hehe.
Here is more sketches of Mourynn/Vallotash under the cut:
She has some simpler looks for when she's flattened down. She looks SO SILLY but I love it. Beware the Scion of Mordremoth: This freaking wiggly silly noodle thing. A terrifying menace!! Beloathed parasite daughter vine of the mighty Jungle Elder Dragon!! /does a snake blep
(Also the first two head sketches I did of her from last year when she still didn't have a body designed yet lmao. I still have to figure out how large she actually is, as well as her colouration. She'll have to match Mourynn's, so she's gonna be a funny mix of the colours in the cool spectrum, which doesn't look very plant-like, but sylvari can be all different colours, and she has the whole poisonous/hallucinogenic thing going on, as well as some Soo-won influence bc she's based off a leafy sea dragon and is very attuned to water, so it kinda works yeah????)
I also have no idea what her large chin whisker things are supposed to be. I just kind of made them up on the spot and fell in love with them, so they're STAYING, even if they make no sense. I mostly just love that they'd look so cool underwater and while glowing in the dark, and they are vaguely alien and jellyfish-like.
170 notes
·
View notes