#plus I literally have no life outside of work and so I’m okay with being the first option for babysitting or something

[little-pondhead]

“Why don’t you visit us more? Why aren’t you more spontaneous? Your life doesn’t revolve around your family!”

*takes your face gently in my hands* as long as I’m living at home, yes it fucking does

#pondhead rambles #it drives me nuts that some people don’t get the concept of sacrificing your time for your family #I am living with other people #in order to coexist we must work around each other #plus I literally have no life outside of work and so I’m okay with being the first option for babysitting or something #it’s how I contribute more to the household since I’m not paying rent

[kookslastbutton]

Those Eyes Chico ༓ myg (m) | chapter two

✑ Summary: As the new marketing director for Min Yoongi’s upcoming D-Day album & tour, you’re expected to bring your expertise to the table. This shouldn’t be a problem—you’re the best in the business and you’re used to drawing a strict line between your professional and personal life. But what happens when the lines you’ve fought to keep as separate blur for the first time?

pairing: idol!yoongi x plus size!poc!reader

genre/AU: angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, coworkers2friends2lovers, winter setting, forbidden love

word count: 6.1k+

warnings: This chapter in particular is written from Yoongi's perspective, oc is 28, Yoon is 30, oc is not originally from South Korea, oc has light brown eyes, swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, smoking, mentions of body shaming by Hybe executive, bestie!tae is wonderful support 🥹, light fighting between members (literally crack), Namjoon has a little crush, Oc being a total boss at work bc she is amazing at her job, and cute & meaningful Yoon and OC interactions that make them finally start bonding (a little flirty too, hehe) 😉

now playing: Sweet Dreams by The Last Shadow Puppets

a/n: CHAPTR TWO IS HERE! GOD...the slow burn exists outside the series too with me not updating for two months. I'm sorry guys but TYSM for your patience! I'm VERY excited to release this chapter bc I think Yoon & Oc are super cute, hehe. Okay anyway, this series is dedicated to my wonderfully crazy friend and sorta beta, Gloom @theuselessdaydreamingidiot, and to all our fellow Yoon lovers bc we miss our sweet man SO MUCH 🥺 Enjoy! 🥰 Also huge thank you to @itaeewon for designing this beautiful series header! Love it!!

Series Masterlist | next chapter >>

Yoongi stands with his hands placed loosely on his hip, chest heaving as he attempts to catch his breath. The seven of them had been practicing choreography for their new RUN BTS song nonstop when Jimin called for a much-needed, fifteen-minute break. There’s a part of him that’s thanking the younger for it and another that’s wishing he hadn’t, as every moment left alone with his thoughts is spent decoding his last encounter with you at the cafeteria.

Why had you made such a beeline for the exit the moment he was waved over by his member?

You also completely ignored his attempts to greet you on your way out. He only stopped by the cafeteria to slip an orange in his pocket before returning to his studio. He didn’t mean to intrude or incite that you had to leave with his sudden presence.

Taehyung assured him that you merely left to tend to work matters, which he’d typically sum as hyper-fixation with one’s work as he’s prone to do the same, but this felt different at its core. Your behavior seemed more intentional than that. The last thing he wants to do is misread the whole situation, but he must’ve done or said something to cause your uneasiness.

“Hyung, how did the album meeting go this morning?” A clear voice comes from Yoongi's left as his fellow band member, Namjoon, strides next to him, water bottle clenched in his fist. Like himself, large droplets of sweat dots around the man’s brow. The minor interruption shakes Yoongi out of his slightly dazed state.

“Went well.” He takes a big swish of his own water before screwing the cap back on. “We reviewed everything in three hours and the album looks better than I anticipated. There are a couple of promotional strategies that still need finalizing, but I’m pretty confident about it overall.”

“That’s great, man. __-nim’s been doing good work with TXT for the last few years, so she’s definitely suited for the job. I thought about requesting her help to promote Indigo but the timing of it all didn’t work.” Namjoon’s voice drops an octave at the last part, as if remorseful for more than a missed professional opportunity.

“Ah, maybe your next album hyung,” Jimin suddenly chimes in, slapping the taller man on the shoulder from the side. “I have a feeling you and __-nim would work well together. Think about it, you’re both natural born leaders and you’re smart too. I bet __ -nim has as high of an IQ as you.”

Namjoon’s cheeks flush with the faintest tint of rose as Jimin flashes a knowingly cheeky grin. Yoongi, of course, witnesses the entire exchange, the slightest part of him feeling uprooted by the thought of his band member and new marketing manager suddenly hitting it off. He decides not to comment on the matter, choosing to remain in ignorance instead. This is all speculation, right?

Now that they’re all on the subject of his album though, it gets him thinking that maybe he’s been too narrow viewed regarding the reason for your off putting behavior at lunch.

D-Day’s release has become a consuming priority lately, with everyone involved worked to the bone. Aside from himself, you’ve been bearing the brunt of it. He’s appreciative of course, considering the album holds a deep sense of meaning to him, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want it to be perfect. A little pushback during the first proposal is natural, yet he did get more resistant toward ideas during this morning’s meeting than anticipated. Perhaps some of his nitpicking was unnecessary, adding to your already heavy load.

Yoongi’s head feels worse the longer he entertains the possibility. He doesn’t want to make the first time working together a complete whirlwind, especially this early. A strong, healthy partnership starts with trust, safety, and mutual respect. The same philosophy can be applied to relationships of varying natures. That reminds him—since when did Taehyung and you become so close? He’s been ruminating over it all afternoon, like a jigsaw puzzle he can’t solve.

It’s odd how little he knows.

“I heard someone mention __-nim over here. I want in.” A small grumble leaves Yoongi’s lips as Jungkook pushes next to him, displeased by how tiny his space bubble has gotten due to the huddle his members have formed around him. Just why the hell is everyone so interested in his new marketing director? That's what he wants to know.

“Can you introduce me to her sometime hyung?" Jungkook pleads. "I’m thinking about releasing an album in the next year and it’d be great if you could hook us up…yknow?”

Oh, Yoongi knows. He knows exactly what this young buck is insinuating, but it isn’t mating season yet and even if it were he will do no such thing as to “hook them up”. Besides, his conscience tells him that you wouldn't be interested in the company of a younger man anyway—not that your dating life is any of his business or anything.

“Get in line Jungkookie, behind Namjoon. He needs her for his album first.” Jimin squeezes down on Namjoon’s muscular shoulders with both hands, shaking him just enough to hype him up. His hands are removed seconds later when he’s told to knock it off.

“That’s enough about this, okay? I’m pretty sure Yoongi-hyung is the only one who actually needs __-nim right now because, in case you dumbasses have forgotten, D-Day is set to release in April,” Namjoon scolds the two with a commanding tone. Jungkook, per usual, remains persistent in his original request and keeps his full attention on Yoongi.

“Anyway hyung, as I was saying, I know your album takes priority so I’m in no hurry to meet her. I can be pretty patient as you know-“

“Heh, that’s a lie.”

“Shove it Jimin, no one’s talking to you.” Jungkook’s eyebrows scrunch together as Jimin snorts helplessly next to Namjoon.

“You shove it Kook,” Jimin counters. “And stop trying to date __-nim! Find your own woman!”

“I’m not trying to date her! She's my noona for gods sake! Do you think I’m oblivious to how the public reacts to idols dating? Also, __-nim is a Hybe employee, not an idol. I can only imagine the type of scandal the media would spin it as.”

“Right, we all know you actually just want to take her to your bed instead,” Jimin interrupts for the umpteenth time. “Our handsome leader, on the other hand, is interested in her professional abilities. We can learn a lot from him.”

“Why are you always trying to start a fight with me Jimin? Is it because I can take you, now that I've been building up more muscle?” Jungkook’s accusations earn him nothing more than a sea of eye-rolls until Jimin lunges himself towards him, puffing out his chest the best he can to size him up.

Namjoon rubs his face with a hand, a clear visual display of his exhaustion. He’s been moderating these stupid squabbles for nine years now. “Alright very mature, biggest boy band in the world and this is what it’s come to? Amazing, congrats to everyone for winning the award for most-”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Seokjin interjects, effortlessly shouting over everyone while waving his hands. “My brothers…why are we fighting over here like a couple of peacocks? We are all beautiful in our own, individual ways. Mine, for example, is my handsome face.”

“For the love of god hyung, we’re trying to settle something. Go take your inspirational pep talk elsewhere!” Jungkook bends his knees, swooping down to throw Jimin over his shoulder but he misses when the man starts tickling him ruthlessly.

“St-ah-stop it Jimin!"

“You stop it, you frickin’ brat! Trying to take advantage of our hyungs for your own selfish gain.” Jimin then slaps Jungkook on the ass which does not go unappreciated as Hoseok cackles from the other side of the room. Up until this point, he’s been scrolling on his phone, completely unbothered by the chaos. As Hoseok nears the action, Jungkook delivers a swift kick to Jimin’s rear end.

“Ow, what the fuck Kook?!” Jimin tries soothing the sting by massaging it with his hands. “You little prick!”

“Oh come on, I barely hit you. Gaining sympathy points won’t help this time, plus I see you trying to hide a grin. You think this shit is funny. You’re sick you know that?”

Jimin makes a move to return the kick to his youngest member but ends up hitting a far taller, and leaner subject instead. Taehyung, who just returned from the bathroom, throws a hand over his abdomen and grunts from the sudden impact.

“What is—shit Jimin that really hurt!” Taehyung’s baritone voice echoes off the walls as he winces from the pain. He takes a few deep breaths, then viciously eyes the two brawlers followed by the rest of the room. “What the hell is going on? I heard you all talking about __-nim from the hallway. Yoongi-hyung here is trying to kick off his album and tour, which we are supposed to be celebrating over drinks this Friday, but here you are arguing with each other and who has the biggest dick. Well, you can all put it away because as __-nim’s best friend, and number one wingman, only I’m allowed to set her up with someone and it won’t be with any of you! Sorry hyung…” he looks at Namjoon who appears to have brushed the comment off.

As soon as Taehyung ceases his mini-speech, eery silence sets in. Hoseok is the first to dare say a word.

“Uh, so what’s this about being her best friend Tae?”

“Yeah, I had no idea either.” Jimin quirks his head to the side, awaiting the details.

“Same,” Namjoon adds in a short breath.

“What happened to us, man?” Jungkook pouts at Taehyung, a total 180 from moments ago when he was in an unsolicited sparring match with Jimin. “You used to share everything with me. Now you’re holding out on me. Since when did you and __-nim start hanging out?”

Yoongi’s ears perk up for the first time since all the commotion began, curious to hear Taehyung’s response. He only recently discovered the blossoming friendship hours ago and even then, it was a brief inside look.

“I didn’t think to mention it but yeah, we started talking since her first day at Hybe. I bumped into her on the way into work, early morning for both of us. I expected her to be a bit on the reserved side, considering she was a new hire, but she was quite friendly. The more we talked, the more I felt like I knew her as if a childhood best friend I’d reconnected with.” Pausing, he wets his lips before continuing. “We share a lot of our meals together now, like our lunches during the weekday. Her food tastes amazing by the way. I think she missed her calling as a chef but it’s more than food— it’s a love language, a labor of love.”

“Wow, you two sure are connected,” Hoseok speaks first again, seeing the rest of his members working to process the new bit of info.

“Platonically, yes.”

“This’ll be good for Yoongi-hyung and his album then! No bad blood exists here!” Hoseok shifts his gaze between Taehyung and Yoongi, pleased with the outcome. The older of the two remains speechless, yet it’s far from a dazed expression. Yoongi is instead deep in thought, the wheels turning in his head.

So maybe it’s true that birds of a feather flock together, he hums to himself. The two of you seem to be social butterflies with a vase full of commonalities. He, on the other hand, prefers his solitude. That’s not to say he’s a hermit or anything though. Hybe hosts a company-wide New Year’s Eve party every single year and he’s made his best effort to attend them all. He mainly mingles with his members, but he still makes sure to small talk with other coworkers. Come to think of it, did he even see you at last year’s New Year’s Eve party?

He can’t remember much from the night except Seokjin scolding him for not wishing him a happy birthday the minute the clock struck midnight. He was a bit tipsy at that point. Taehyung disappeared soon after to make his usual rounds, stopping to chat with everyone in his path. Maybe he took off to talk to you during that time.

Okay, he really needs to stop thinking about you.

"Just to confirm, is everyone still on for Friday night to celebrate D-Day?" Jimin pipes. "I booked us a good place to have some food and drinks.

Taehyung nods, "I am, as long as it's not the same place we saw our CFO and his much younger date feeding each other. I couldn't eat for the rest of that night."

Jungkook fakes a gag before replying. "I'm sorry but does anyone know how is he still working here? Guy creeps me out."

"I swear, I couldn't agree more. Just yesterday he made an egregiously body-shaming comment toward __-nim to someone else on the board. She kept a brave front when she told me, but I'm damn tempted to get him removed from his position myself!" Taehyung's nostrils flare as he shares his frustration, fingers digging into his hips.

Yoongi takes a final chug of his water before abruptly tossing the bottle on the floor. A sharp crack resounds through the space, instantly commanding the authority of the room. “Fifteen minutes is over,” he gruffs. “It might be twenty minutes with all the bickering earlier. We don't have time to be talking about this anymore.”

“Come on now," Hoseok says. "Didn't you hear what Taehyung said? Our CFO really is a class-A jerk. I feel so bad that __-nim has to put up with his bullshit, she doesn't deserve it." His eyes frantically search the room, hoping to rally support.

"Don't worry about that asshole," Yoongi assures, "I'll handle it." He strides over to his choreographed position on the dance floor as if a leader in his own right, the rest of the members following in his steps.

"Just don't kill him, hyung," Namjoon says, resting a hand on the older's shoulder from behind. Yoongi merely snorts lightly in reply.

Yoongi is dead tired, his feet feeling heavier the minute he stands from his studio chair. He could have left hours ago, but here it is nearly 9:30 at night, and he's only just leaving the office.

As he shuffles down the hallway towards the elevator, he notices the eerie silence. It's thick, almost palpable. There's not a soul left in the building this late at night. When the elevator doors open, he leans casually against the metal rail, closes his eyes, and mentally retraces his day.

Overall, it was a decent day, he thinks, productive at best. Skipping dinner to work on his album tracks was an easy decision, but he might be paying for it now given the intense growling of his stomach. Despite his songs being considered perfect by his members, he can't help but tweak each one a final time. It's as if his gut tells him there's still a piece missing from the whole.

All at once, the elevator comes to a sudden stop. Yoongi's eyes shoot open, anticipation flooding his senses. Is someone still here? He listens intently, straining to hear any sound over the faint hum of the elevator. After a few moments that feel like an eternity, the elevator doors slide open to reveal an empty, dimly lit hallway. It's the 16th floor. He hesitates for a second, peering into the shadows, but there’s no sign of anyone. Strange.

Just as the elevator doors begin to close, Yoongi hears a distant, unmistakable voice. "Please hold the door!" you plead, your voice strained with urgency. He responds immediately, stretching out an arm to block the door. "Thank you so much," you say, slipping in beside him, your bag thrown over your shoulder.

Yoongi watches as you enter, curiosity in his eyes. It seems you were of like mind tonight, working late and likely burdened by the extra work he caused for you. The feeling of tension is as clear as it was yesterday, lingering as a reminder of the unspoken discomfort between you both.

But then again, there's that issue Taehyung mentioned, looming in his thoughts. He hadn't realized you overheard the horrendous comment his CFO made about you. No wonder you hurried away from him like a bat out of hell yesterday; you knew he knew. He wouldn't dare shine a light on the situation and risk embarrassing you further; no one needs to relive such a belittling experience. Yet, he's wrestling with the right words to say.

"Heading home, Min PD-nim?" You surprise him by speaking first, voice firm with a touch of gentleness.

Yoongi allows a faint smile to tug at the corners of his lips, hoping it'll relieve some tension. "I am, it's been quite a day. What about you?"

You nod, shifting the bag on your shoulder. "Same here. Just had to wrap up a few things before heading out."

He hesitates for a moment, noting how you speak as if it were only a few minutes past five or six in the evening. "I understand. I was working in my studio up until now. I should be back up there tomorrow too," he says, then chuckles lightly, "Sometimes I feel like I should just live up there."

You return the subtle laugh and smile softly at him, your light brown eyes catching his dark ones. It feels like the same prolonged gaze you shared upon first meeting, yet now, it's somehow become easier; perhaps a hint of familiarity.

"By the way," he continues, seizing the opportunity, "feel free to call me Yoongi-ssi. I'm not that formal in case you didn't know." He playfully gestures to his casual attire; tan cargo pants, grey plaid button-down, and sneakers.

You seem hesitant towards the request at first, evident from your delayed response. "Are you sure?" you choke. "I don't want to over step my boundaries."

"There's no need to worry about that," he assures. "We're on equal level aren't we? If we're going to be working side by side for the next eight months give or take, I want us to feel comfortable with each other. Please, call me Yoongi-ssi."

"Okay, I might need some time to get used to that," you say, head nodding, "I'll try calling you Yoongi-ssi from now on."

"There's one other thing too," he pauses, "since we'll be working on D-Day's promotion from start to finish, I'll have many of my own opinions. It's a natural instinct for me, but I don't want to be a hinderance. I don't want anyone else giving you issues either, so I'd like to hear your full thoughts on matters, especially when it comes to important decisions."

"That means a lot Yoongi-ssi, thank you. I'm very grateful that you'd allow me to be a part of this and I'd very much like us to have an equal partnership. This is your album though, so I want to make sure it gets the recognition it deserves in the way you'd prefer."

Yoongi glances at the floor numbers displayed to the right of the elevator doors. Any second now and you'll reach the lobby. He wouldn't mind talking longer, but letting you both get a decent night's sleep is the far better idea at this point.

"I trust that D-Day is in the right hands with you, __ssi," he replies. "It's why I recommended that we work together to promote it in the first place. Bang PD was also confident in the idea. We don't doubt your expertise for a second." He pauses when the elevator doors slide open and allows you to be the first to exit. "Have a good night, okay?"

For the first time, you reciprocate the wish with a full, illuminating smile. It's not a professional one, Yoongi notes, its a real one—as genuine and sincere as his words. He takes it as a sign that the tides may finally be turning for the better. "You too," he hears you say before you push through the large revolving doors and step into the cool night air.

In the evenings that follow, Yoongi finds himself back in his studio as promised, a glass of whiskey in hand. He ultimately decided that if he was going to be here until all hours of the night, he might as well have a cold beverage to keep him company.

As he leans back in his chair, swirling the dark amber liquor in his glass, his mind inadvertently wanders to you. Were you downstairs again? Were you here with him? It would seem that given your unexpected late-night encounter in the elevator, the validity of the idea wouldn't be all that wild or far-fetched.

With each passing minute, as the clock inches closer to the late hours, he finds himself circling back to the same thought. It's as if the possibility of running into you has become a highlight of his night.

Just then, a deep and familiar voice interrupts. "Burning the midnight oil again, hyung?"

Startled, Yoongi looks up to see Taehyung standing in the doorway, a sympathetic smile on his face. Despite it being almost 9 at night, his younger member is nothing short of flawless in appearance.

"Yeah, working on my tracks," Yoongi replies, offering a small smile in return. "What are you doing here?"

Taehyung steps further into the room, hand tucked in his pocket. "I wanted to stay late to keep __-nim company, but I'm not sure how much longer she plans on staying tonight. I was on my way out when I figured I'd stop by to see you too."

"Well, thanks for thinking of me. Want a drink?" He offers, nodding towards the nearby whiskey bottle.

"No, thanks," Taehyung declines politely, shaking his head. "I'll let you enjoy your whiskey in peace. Although, __-nim might take you up on that same offer one of these days. She has a strong taste for it, as you do. Anyway, I'm heading out. Don't overdo it with your music, hyung, they're already perfect."

Once Taehyung leaves the studio, Yoongi's previous string of thoughts return to him tenfold.

So you really are here, he muses, and you happen to like the same throat-burning alcohol. Should he venture downstairs and offer a drink? No, that would probably be too much, and he wouldn't want to interrupt you. Maybe if Taehyung were accompanying him, but not alone; he doesn't share enough rapport with you to merit such a spontaneous drop-in yet.

No, he takes another sip of his whiskey, he'll see you tomorrow morning instead; during your morning meeting. But that gets him thinking—he's still yet to decide on whether or not he'll make an appearance on Fallon's show. He’d done it with his members numerous times, but this would be the first time doing it alone. His album would indeed benefit from the exposure, though.

"Damn it," he curses, raising from his seat. "I work my ass off. I work my ass off for it all!" He then sits back down, finishing off the rest of his whiskey in one gulp, the burn soothing his frustration momentarily. With a resigned sigh, he turns his attention back to his music. "Damn it, I guess I'll do it."

If it weren't for his phone notification reminding him of his 10 am meeting on Friday, Yoongi would have missed it entirely. Normally, he never forgets important events, but several late nights in the studio had predictably caught up with him. He feels extremely sleep-deprived today, his memory more prone to blanking than usual. Waking up with a throbbing headache at 5 am, which hasn't dimmed in the slightest, doesn’t help either. Nonetheless, with only ten minutes to spare, Yoongi has no choice but to pull himself together and head downstairs to the conference room.

"Good morning, Min PD-nim," you greet him as he walks through the door. "We're about to start."

Yoongi drags out a chair and takes a seat. You look nice today, he notes quietly to himself. He makes sure to send a small smile your way before returning the warm greeting. "Good morning __-ssi," he says. "I told you we can speak informally didn't I?"

He waits for your response, easily tuning out the startled reactions from the rest of the team. Most high-ranking officials in the organization expected to be addressed formally by those in lower positions, but here he was, openly requesting you to speak as equals. It was almost unheard of during work hours. He was Min Yoongi, after all.

"Right, of course," you reply, "You'll have to excuse me, Yoongi-ssi. It slipped my mind for a moment."

Yoongi watches as you shuffle a few papers in your hand before continuing. "To get us started, I thought we'd discuss the decision to schedule a spot on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Will we be proceeding with this?"

"After mauling it over I think it's a good idea for the album. Do we have an idea of when this would happen?"

"Ideally after the album releases and around the time the U.S. tour begins April 26th. I say we aim for early May. Given Fallon's show's high demand, we'll need to get a jump on this as soon as we can." You shift your attention to your digital marketing and promotions team. "So-hyun, can you reach out to the producers and see what strings we can pull?"

She nods, scribbling a quick note on her writing pad. "We'll reach out today. I'll let you know as soon as we get a response."

"Excellent, thank you. I'm glad to hear you're on board with this Yoongi-ssi. It'll be a great way to promote D-Day and attract a global audience. The more smartly we utilize our resources, the better your album will be positioned in the current market." You take a brief pause to flip through your notes again. "Speaking of resources, we'll need to start booking magazine shoots and interviews. I'm proposing we run cover pages with Marie Claire Korea and Vogue Japan."

Yoongi would be taken aback by the flood of ideas and schedules you're firing at him, all within the first fifteen minutes, if he weren't already aware of your level of competency. This is exactly why he chose you, he hums to himself, your preparedness is impressive, but not surprising.

"I presume this will take place next year?" he asks. "During their spring issues?"

"Absolutely. We'll submit inquiries soon to get the ball rolling, but having the shoots completed now would be premature. Plus, it'll take some time before there are any openings with the companies. I think we should be consistent with tour dates and have Marie Claire go out in May and Vogue ready in August of next year."

"Okay, I'm fine with all that but we'll need to have something exciting released now, don't we? I know I start my weekly lives tonight, but shouldn't there be something more we can do?"

"I agree," you reply. "That's why I wanted to propose a brand new idea that came to me a couple of nights ago while I was drafting promotional content. Anytime idols release a new album or music, it gets published on YouTube, right?"

He nods, curious on where you're heading. "Right."

"Why don't we start a talk show with you as the host Yoongi-ssi? It can allow your fans to see another side of you, as well as the general public. We can invite your BTS members as guests where you can discuss music or past challenges that you've had to overcome—the choice is yours. To make it more interesting for viewers, you can have these frank conversations over a glass of whiskey or soju."

"I like the idea," he says, weighing it in his mind. "What would the timeline look like for this?"

"If we move forward with the idea, I suggest December 5th and we continue it for a max of two months. I know that only leaves us with just under two weeks to get started, but creating the set shouldn't take more an a day or a day and a half. We can also easily shoot a 30 to 60-minute video in an afternoon and publish it on YouTube the following week. Of course, a preview of the show will need to go out beforehand."

"Would we be able to invite other guests to the show? Outside of my members, I mean."

"Yes, feel free to invite whoever you'd like. We can start with the member for the first several episodes but ultimately, welcoming a variety of guests from the same or differing industries would be the goal."

"If I may." A member of the social media team suddenly joins the discussion, "I think Kim Namjoon-nim might be a good person to feature first since Indigo releases December 2nd."

Yoongi nods in agreement. "I can ask him."

"That would be fantastic, actually. If his availability is limited, we could have him guest star for the second or third episode instead," you add. "Hoseok released Jack in the Box this summer so we could have him be the first guest as well."

"Do we have a name yet?"

"Suchwita," you answer without hesitation. "It's a play on words with Daechwita."

"Suchwita..." Yoongi repeats, "Time to get drunk." He chuckles at the last few words, amusing the room, but you remain contemplative.

"How about Suchwita...time to drink with Suga, instead? It's simple and has a slight whimsical nature."

"Sure, let's use that," he answers, noticing that you've already begun jotting down the idea. "Yours is better."

Despite the adrenaline from the productive meeting with you and your team, Yoongi still feels the weight of his sleepless nights bearing down on him. His headache remains relentless and he is in dire need of a moment to himself. Once the team disperses, he slips his phone into his pocket and makes his way outside. The crisp, early morning air should offer him some relief, along with the pack of cigarettes tucked in his pocket.

When he reaches the building's designated smoking area, Yoongi takes out a cigarette and lights it, taking a deep drag as he leans against the cool brick wall. As he exhales, watching the smoke dissipate into the clear sky, his thoughts drift back to the meeting. The idea of hosting a talk show, "Suchwita...time to drink with Suga," still lingers in his mind. It’s an intriguing concept, and he can already envision the relaxed, candid conversations that could come from it.

His thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the sound of footsteps crunching on the ground nearby.

"Oh, Yoongi-ssi," you say with alarm, obviously startled by his presence. "I didn't mean to interrupt you. I'll come back lat-"

"There's no need for that. Join me if you'd like." Yoongi watches as you hesitate to accept his offer, your feet already positioned to head back inside the building. "Seriously, there's plenty of room, and no matter what they'll tell you, I don't bite."

He allows himself to smirk as you carefully move beside him, only stopping when there is at least two feet of space between you both.

"Thanks," you say, pulling out your own pack of cigarettes and lighting one. "I needed a break too."

"Rough morning?"

"Just busy," you reply, leaning against the wall next to him. "But the meeting went well. We should be able to get the ball rolling now that we have a more finalized plan. I'm glad you liked the idea of starting Suchwita, by the way."

"I do," Yoongi says, nodding. "It has a lot of potential and I'm sure Namjoon will be more than happy to help us out. He's a natural at this kind of stuff. I guess it's why he's our band leader."

"You know you're good at all of this too, don't you, Yoongi-ssi?" You pause, taking a puff of your cigarette. "Even when you have a lot on your mind and a packed schedule, you have a knack for making people feel at ease. It's why I think producing Suchwita will be such a great way to connect with fans and other artists—you'll be the host."

He chuckles, appreciative of the remark. "You really think that? That I make people feel at ease? It's not what a lot of people assume."

"Nah," you reply, tilting your head up toward the clouds. "They're just on the outside looking in. Those who know you, who are around you and talk to you, will agree that you're a pretty calming presence."

"Well, I think we're not so different then." Yoongi shifts his eyes to your face, still looking up at the sky, and smiles softly. "So, what made you come to BigHit? Didn't you say you worked for Atlantic Records? That's a pretty good gig."

"Yeah, it was. I learned a lot there, and man, I was thrilled when I got offered the job as a brand manager. I've always loved music, ever since I was a kid. I could connect so intimately with the lyrics. Music is one of the few things that could soothe me during rough times, and it still does today. I'm sure you can understand."

Yoongi nods, intent on listening to your every word, intrigued by your story.

"Anyway, sorry about getting long-winded here" you chuckle. "I ultimately decided to move on when Bang PD reached out and offered me the marketing manager position for TXT. It gave me the chance to be a more integral part of bringing music to individuals who need it most. It's like we say, 'music for art and healing.' I'd never had the opportunity to manage a completely new set of musicians before either, let alone a group. Plus, being on the global marketing team? I couldn't turn it down."

"It makes sense why you joined us then, and I have to say, it's a blessing you did too. Music is a way of communication for me, a way I can best express my story. That includes my past, present, and hopefully future. After hearing all you shared, I don't think there's anyone else I'd trust with handling my album promos." Yoongi pauses a moment, unsure if he should ask the next thing on his mind. "How come we never met before? I mean really meet and talk?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure myself. But things have a way of falling into place when the time is right, I suppose." You're now looking at him, the intensity of your gaze mirrors his own. A gentle breeze tousles a few strands of your hair and for a split moment, Yoongi begins to understand what Taehyung meant earlier when he said it feels like he's known you his whole life, like a childhood friend he'd reconnected with. While it may not be to that extent for himself, there's a comforting warmth emanating from you that leaves him feeling strangely tranquil.

"Given the circumstances, I feel like we should have at least met through Taehyung by now," he slips out. "Or even at a company-sponsored event."

"Why, do you like me that much, Yoongi-ssi? After five days of working together?" Your playful tease catches him off guard, revealing a side of you he hadn't seen before. It's kind of cute-wait, what?

"I-"

"Sorry," you quickly interject, feeling the need to backtrack. "I shouldn't have said it like that."

"Don't worry, there's no need for apologies. And to answer your question, I like you enough." He hopes you can hear the tease in his own tone as he responds.

You both lapse into a comfortable silence for the next few minutes, the only sounds being the distant hum of traffic and the occasional chirp of a bird. He finds all of it soothing in a way he can't quite explain.

After a few minutes, you turn to him, your expression thoughtful. "You know, if you ever need to talk or just need a break, I'm here. We're teammates now."

Yoongi looks at you, his tired eyes softening with gratitude. "Thanks, __-ssi."

You give him a reassuring smile before pushing off the wall. "I'll let you finish your cigarette. See you later? And by later, I likely mean at 9 or 10 pm in our company elevator."

"Yeah, see you later," he laughs, watching as you walk back toward the building. He takes one last inhale, extinguishing the cigarette and letting the remaining smoke escape his lips slowly.

Yeah, he likes you just enough.

a/n: Hope you enjoyed it! Lmk what you think 🥰

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[alteredpupil]

PICK A CARD - WHAT’S GETTING READY TO CHANGE AND WHY

Literally all the piles had a heavy theme of setting strong boundaries. I might end up doing a collective reading because now that I finished this I’m getting a lot of you are going through the same things or a certain theme playing out. This lets me know a lot of these situations is karmic and clearing out of past energies or “residue”. This could even be due to the retrogrades going on at this time.

PILE ONE

It’s so funny how the first two cards are “Transformation” and “Endings and Rebirth”. This is a huge change… like moving homes or cities. This is being surrounded by a completely new group of people pile one… and you know what they say, you are who you spend time with. For some of you i got a message of you guys being in a toxic or abusive relationship and your low self esteem is letting you accept benevolent behavior. Some of you could be in denial or feel like you have nobody outside this person, maybe it’s the long history that makes you feel like you can’t let go. I’m getting you need to mend your relationship with your own self & spirit family or guides… and will. For a couple of you i’m getting pregnancy, if that’s something you were trying for them congratulations pile one! Another extreme change is how you will manage your time and balancing between multiple things. The reason i say this is extreme because overtime the little steps will make you realize that your whole life & circumstance changed before your eyes. I don’t know why i feel the need to say it but there’s a energy of your life taking a physical transformation but if you refuse to let go of the past (mainly picking up on people and bad habits), you will prosper only physically. Your self fulfillment will come from a lot of reflection and action. What’s going to help you let go of your past and toxic relationships is you’re gonna feel a new sense of responsibility and taking life more seriously. I see you feeling a lot better soon as you do thought pile one, you will feel more free and there’s a heavy weight lifted off your change. For some of you, the other person or a situation might be leaving your life so you will feel abandoned at first. Lots of mood swings but i see you taking pride in your work. Some type of truth might be coming out that will cause something to finally come to a end but i feel like right when this happens you will have come across a opportunity or started something that will occupy the majority of your time and thought. Despite possibly feeling hurt i don’t want you to stress or worry about this. You will feel you have somewhere to go if that makes sense, you won’t be left alone. My pet just came in the room as i said that… some of you might be getting a new pet! A lot of you could also start working out and if you have insomnia you will find it helps you sleep better. You could even be watching your diet and this will cause your body to transform physically, i’m seeing a confidence boost so that’s a plus! I asked for advice for you to deal with this change and if you need to go into hermit mode and force yourself to do shadow work, do that. No more running from yourself and it’s going to bring a happy change. Self care energy is heavy! Prioritize your peace and responsibilities.

PILE TWO

Okay my collective in this group could be on two opposite sides of the same coin. Some of you are influencers, models, or have some type of following. The first half is getting ready to go into “hiding” and being more private. The other half after going to start showcasing themselves more and putting yourself out there. On both ends i’m getting working on your boundaries and learning to say no. No more overextending yourself. Also side note: a lot of you will be getting heavily into skincare and grooming. It will pay off! You will attract something into your life that will change the course of your career mainly & public persona or status. This is my fiery pile most likely. For some of you this could be buying a home with your family or somebody you consider family. This is spending a lot of time with loved ones and possibly working towards the same goals. There could be a risk involved with whatever you’re taking on next but you will decide choosing this path is worth it. Okay back to the two collectives, if you’re pushing yourself into isolation because you’re letting divination or the news and media i’m hearing ?? get you paranoid then please cut that out. You’re only holding back on your own potential and i’m getting your intuition is very strong so don’t let fear mongering get to you. For others of you you’re trying to protect yourself and a partner or project. Maybe all three. If you have a lot of eyes on you this could have made you wanna go private, for some of you this could also be on social media. Just make sure you’re doing what you’re doing for the right reasons regardless of the side you’re own. You got boundaries as change and when i clarified the “why”… i got boundaries again. This pile could be working with their sacral chakra a lot and you just feel above certain things now. You might’ve outgrew certain environments and activities and want to pour more into pursuing your own passions. Be careful not to be tooooo sharp tongued but do stand up for yourself how you intend. Your skills will be valued or whatever you got to create. You’re manifesting quickly my pile two and the change for you will be having the resources to take on the next project and so on. “Never running out”. If you guys got some type of altar or are connected to your ancestors then just know they’re going extra hard for you behind the scenes. Another change is you or somebody from your past will reach out to each other. I see reconciliation or at least being civil and it goes over nicely. You both might’ve matured a lot in the time spent apart. This could even be on social media or through text. This person is a past life soulmate for a lot of you, doesn’t matter the relationship type. Why is this change happening and your life changing? Because you left a mark on a lot of people. Some of you are very kind and understanding. You could make others feel understood. You could have some messages for yourself in pile one (although this pile energy is was more confident and self assured) because you also got the message of prioritizing your own peace. You guys could dance a lot or even take dancing classes. I think this is spiritually helping you transmute energy in some type of what, maybe your past pain spills away when you dance. This could be your healthy escape per say. You value honesty and this will also lead you around a healthier crowd.

PILE THREE

I’m getting fame! Or you could be in the spotlight for a long time. You’re either bringing justice to a situation that happened and speaking out or people will be attracted to what you have to say. Some people will look at you like a authoritative figure. Even if it starts off based on either your looks or music I’m hearing, you will draw people in with your mouthpiece. Your family life or home is also going to be a place you like spending a lot of time if that’s not the case. This is because somebody gives you a gift wether physically or mentally (new family member?). This person could be a mentor figure or somebody older than you, perhaps a partner. For some of you, you’re moving in with a spouse or partner. You will be torn between two opportunities presented to you by a fire sign man, or he will try to get in the way of these opportunities. It’s the start of something new but I don’t know if I would go for it, it’s not a extraordinary offer. There could be a male figure that’s more on the aggressive side leaving you confused. It’s important you make big decisions by consoling yourself last and coming to the finale choice. Don’t let anybody else make it for you because I’m seeing this change can very well be you left confused when it comes to making money. Especially if this is somebody that never helped till they seen something go good for you, they might unintentionally sabotage it. Selfish intentions. Also if you’re around a lot of people or receiving a lot of attention, up your boundaries. For some of you this is somebody new that comes in full force and tries to have a say on what you do. They could disguise themselves as somebody of importance, might really have that power too but I’m getting “check their history” out. You’re not naive, you got it, pile three. Something you read or a piece of information you receive will cause you to put your mind at ease. Some of you could be holding on to something that’s hurt you for a long time or some type of conflict. This information you’re getting ready to receive or see is going to do a complete 360 for you, maybe you’re forgiving somebody. Some of you might be a bit ruthless and you could see somebody who did you wrong life is in shambles. This might make you happy and let go of the situation. For others of you this is information that changes how you see yourself and the world. Beautiful change regardless of some of you being on the darker side of said change lol! This is my pile that’s not so forgiving or holds onto resentment. It’s giving water sign energy. If you recently did a protection ritual, that shit is workinggggg! Either a protection or road block opener spell that’s going to remove anything that was holding you back. Maybe this is how some of you end up taking off as far as fame, people can really pick up on your energy. You will have a certain glow to you that wasn’t there before, maybe it’s in the way you smile or your facial expressions. Your internal showing, you guys know the expression wearing your heart on your sleeves? I’m getting some of you will be wearing your energy on your face. The more confident you get, the more your power is increasing. You’ll be more grounded in time to come and therefore it will be easy for you to maneuver through situations that could’ve left you uneasy or anxious in the past. The change is you’re not overthinking as much and acting more. Those of you that are going through a rebirth, this is because you’ve emotionally matured. Side note: I’m hearing “I wanna take it! I wanna take it!”. This rebirth is also induced by whatever creative project or creation you’re making. You will benefit from being emotionally and intuitively connected to yourself, therefore the rebirth and creative overflow. A lot of you will be transmuting that pain you hold into success. That’s beautiful pile three. This is my pile I feel like I don’t gotta touch on shadow attributes as much because I’m getting you guys already know that about yourself and working on changing it. You’re attracting fame, material, healing, protection, and grounding.

You’re attracting a fresh start. But the one thing I want you keeping a eye on is your money sources and income. That could be changing for the worst only due to stagnation, indecisiveness, or confusion. I have no idea why it said this paragraph was getting too long so I had to finish here. Overall though, the emotional fulfillment you’re going to be in is a major point in why you’re attracting the good. So don’t run away from how you feel or try to shut it out pile three! It’s going to aid in your journey to success.

PILE FOUR

I don’t know what you’re doing differently but the change is the way people perceive you. I’m getting you will be more respected by your community and people in close proximity. If some of you are entertainers or service providers of some sort, your work will be a lot more respected. Your reading just got kinda crazy pile four. You’ll be a lot more sharped tongued and on guard. Some people might walk on eggshells around you because they know you will pop off if you hear the wrong thing. But I’m getting all this happens because you went throught or going to find out that a bunch of people you though you could trust or be indifferent towards could’ve been talking behind your back or being sneaky. For some of you this could literally be somebody stealing from you… money, clothes, ideas, material. I’m not gonna lie at first you might feel your heart just dropped to your stomach but this is going to make you mentally stronger and more on guard. There is sooo much air energy here which is crazy because I was gonna say this is my overthinkers. You could be replaying people mean words or betrayal over and over in your head, for some of you this could leave you feeling mentally stuck and bound but know you are not pile four. I’m getting being in isolation is not going to do you well, go out even if it’s alone. Go in nature, do activities, do self care. Remember the bad bitch that you are. You’ll be stepping into your masculine energy, some of you I’m heard are literally playing chess. It’s giving ice queen. If people know that you found out about something I’m getting a scenario of going to a job for example the next day or the same party place and people just seeing you and going quiet. They don’t want any problems lol! Your demeanor changes, you’re being more bold. If you played nice with this group or person at first you will remind them of who you really are, some of them literally feel like they’re dealing with a different person than the one they met. But I’m also getting your ideas are very rampant at this time, keep them to yourself and write them down! People want the knowledge and ideas you possess for themselves. This pile could already have something to prove they’re successful or can get shit done so this leaves people wanting to do the same. I’m getting you’re gonna be very happy while you’re icing people out. Like “okay, I let this go on too long” and having a blasting reminding people what is and isn’t acceptable. You might make certain people feel like cowards because the mess they were spewing they won’t be able to say to your face. I’m just getting don’t take this out on everybody pile four, “keep your allies”. A little situation that happens can’t take you off your path or change your destiny, it can only keep you mentally bound and steal time you could be using to fulfill your destiny. On a good note, I feel like you are going towards your life purpose! You’re just going to clear out karmic cycles on the way. Despite all this you’ll be in a state of bliss almost, some of you literally have a secret weapon. What do I mean? When situations like this occur, there’s somewhere you go physically or in your mind that literally “powers you up” is what I’m hearing. This could be anything and will be different for all of you - a memory, a person, a skill… you are more cunning and calculated than some people realize. A lot of people might be fooled by your looks and underestimate you. You guys also got similar cards to pile three, if you feel called to check that pile out do so. For some of you there is a friendship or partner coming your way that keeps you feeling strong and on your A game, you guys could be going through similar situations. I’m sorry if this pile feels more “negative” per say but I’m getting a lot of this change is mental and about how you navigate whatever the world throws at you (nothing you can’t handle). I asked for a positive change cards for you guys and wow! If some of you been struggling, homeless, or just living in poverty. You’re literally going to the queen of pentacles!

If the situation I was speaking on earlier is a job situation, the reason so many people are gossiping about you is because you could be making the most money or out hustling everybody. Keep going pile four, it will all be worth it. I’m hearing by end of the year you’ll be living a lifestyle you always wanted. If you hold back from snapping on people I’m getting you’ll be happy with this decision because you know they’ll be watching you live your best life with no acknowledgement from you.

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot reading #pac reading #pick an image #pick a picture

[merrybloomwrites]

Cheese is a Good Thing (Larry x Reader)

Summary: Attending your first Louis Tomlinson concert doesn't exactly go as planned. A trash can full of cheese and a chance encounter on a tour bus lead to a night you'll never forget.

Content Warning: smut, threesome (m, m, f) p-in-v-sex, protected sex, light dom/sub dynamic, one night stand

Word Count: 5.2K

Authors Note: This was supposed to be a very silly oneshot inspired by me actually almost falling in a trashcan full of cheese in order to move out of Oli's way at a concert. And then the devil took over and now it's possibly the smuttiest thing I've written?

I also know that I said I was taking a hiatus from posting, but I already had this started and people expressed interest in Louis x Harry x Reader so I wanted to get one story out there. Hope you enjoy!

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“Y/N, you know I don’t like when you go to things like this by yourself.” 

You roll your eyes at your mothers voice, glad that this is just a phone call so she can’t see the gesture. 

“Mom, I’m almost 30 years old. I’m smart. I know how to take care of myself.”

“I know. Still makes me nervous. Call me when you get home okay?”

“You know you’ll be asleep before Louis even gets on stage,” you reply. If there’s one thing about your mother that’s never changed, it’s her habit of going to bed early. 

“I wish we’d set up that app on my phone so I can see where you are,” she says. 

“We did set it up,” you state. “You just don’t know how to use it.”

“Oh, that’s right. How do I find you again?”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes again at the question, since you’ve taught her how to use Find My Friends about one hundred times.

“I’ve really got to get going, parking is going to be tough so I don’t want to be late.”

“Of course, okay. Have fun and be safe!”

“Thanks mom, I will. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“You’d better, I want to hear all about it!”

You almost laugh at that, since your mother literally has zero idea who Louis Tomlinson is, but you appreciate the effort. After a final goodbye you hang up the call. 

Before leaving, you glance in the mirror one last time to make sure everything is in order. Your hair is pulled up in a ponytail, your make up looks perfect, and your simple shorts and tank top sit just right. It’s a hot day, the middle of summer, and the last thing you want is to overheat.

The drive to the venue doesn’t take long, as it’s only a couple of towns over. It’s a smaller place, basically a big parking lot that got turned into a space for concerts. After waiting in line, you finally make your way inside to find a spot. It’s all general admission so you can choose to be anywhere.

The front right by the stage is already completely filled. You could get into the middle of the crowd, but you’d rather hang towards the back. While you do love Louis, it’s still broiling hot out and being surrounded by people doesn’t sound like a fun time.

Towards the back of the space is a large tent which seems to be the control center. Sound and lighting techs are working from there, as well as security personnel. There are metal gates around the tent, with an opening on the side for the staff to come and go.

This is where you station yourself. You’re outside the fence, just behind the opening. There’s a trash can behind you which essentially means no one will be able to press closely to you. Plus, if you lean over towards the fence you get a less obstructed view of the stage.

All in all, you think you’ve secured yourself a pretty good spot. You have a great time listening to the openers, and then Giant Rooks leaves the stage. It’s almost time for you to watch Louis perform live for the first time in your life.

There’s activity in the tent, and you see a man who looks kind of familiar walking out of it rolling some equipment. You try to move back a bit more to be out of his way, but the cart he’s moving still bumps into you.

It doesn’t hurt you, but it does cause you to lose your balance. And honestly, you have the worst coordination, and even worse luck. So it’s no surprise to you when you fall backwards and land not on the ground, but in the garbage can. 

There’s something warm and sticky, and you vaguely remember seeing lots of people eating nachos. Cheese. You’ve landed in basically a vat of cooling liquid cheese. Well, that’s unfortunate. 

“Holy shit, Are you okay? I'm so sorry.” A strongly accented and very worried sounding voice asks you from above. You look up and see the same man, now realizing that you recognize him from Louis’ documentary. It’s Oli, his best friend and manager. And he’s just sent you flying into a trash can. 

“I’m okay,” you reply, more shocked than anything. 

“Here,” he says as he thrusts his hand towards you. “Let me get you out of there.”

You place your hand in his and he helps pull you out until you’re standing in front of him. 

“Seriously, Are you okay?” He asks. You take a moment to assess if you have any injuries before reassuring him that you are not hurt. 

“I am literally covered in cheese sauce though,” you add with a laugh. 

“Shit, again I am so sorry. Here, come with me and we’ll get you cleaned up and in some new clothes.”

You decide to trust this man, though you really don’t have a reason to. Maybe your mom was right to be worried about you going to a concert alone, seeing as you’ve landed yourself in quite a predicament. 

“You can rinse off in the shower on the bus and there should probably be some clothes you can have. I can grab you a merch shirt to wear if you’d like.”

“Uhm, yea anything not coated in cheese would be perfect,” you reply. 

He leads you behind the stage and over to the buses. “I share this one with Louis and a couple guys from the band. They’re due to be getting ready with the sound techs so the bus should be empty,” Oli explains, pointing to the bus at the end. When you reach it he opens the door gesturing for you to enter first. 

As it turns out, Oli was wrong. Because the bus certainly is not empty. 

“Oh shit!” You exclaim as you process the sight in front of you before you quickly turn to face the other way. Oli walks into the bus and first notices the wide eyes on your face before looking behind you. And what he sees behind you is an image you’ll never erase from your brain. 

Because what you’d just walked in on is Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles shirtlessly making out on the couch. 

“Oli you better not have brought this girl in here to-”

“To do exactly what you and Harry were doing? Obviously not,” Oli replies. 

“Then explain why she’s here.”

“I accidentally pushed her into a garbage bin full of cheese sauce.”

You’re still facing away from them meaning they can easily see the mess on your clothes and skin. There’s a rustling sound and then Louis says, “You can turn around love, I promise we’re decent now.”

You do as instructed and see that the pair are now wearing shirts and are seated next to each other, rather than with Harry straddling Louis' lap like he was when you’d entered. 

“Did he really knock you into a trash bin?” Harry asks. 

“Yea, he was moving a cart with equipment and it bumped into me,” you explain. 

“Mate, you are an idiot,” Louis says with a laugh. 

“In his defense, it is pretty difficult to move through the crowd out there,” you clarify. 

“Well, it doesn't change the fact that you obviously came here to clean up and find new clothes, right?” Louis asks. 

“Exactly,” you answer. 

“What’s your name,” Harry asks. 

“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you guys,” you reply. 

“I’m going to grab her one of the merch t-shirts, do you think there’s any shorts in here that’ll fit her?” Oli says. 

“I think I have something that will work,” Louis replies. 

“And bring back an NDA with you,” Harry adds. Oli just nods in understanding and walks out, closing the door behind him. 

Harry turns to you and says, “I hope you understand about the NDA. It’s not that we don’t trust you but we’ve been keeping this secret for a while. We’d really like to know that you won’t go around telling people about what you saw.”

“Oh, I totally get that,” you reply. A blush paints your cheeks as you think about what you witnessed. 

The two boys watch your reaction and share a look with each other. They seem to communicate silently for a moment before Harry takes a step towards you. 

“Did you like what you saw?” He asks. His tone isn’t judgemental, nor is it angry. In fact, it seems to be teasing, or almost hopeful. 

“I mean, I promise I looked away the second I realized. I really didn’t see anything,” you answer. 

“Would you like to?” Louis asks. 

This has your mind basically going offline. Did Louis Tomlinson really just ask if you want to see him and Harry Styles make out? Or maybe even do more than that? 

“Aw, babe, she’s blushing. I think he wants to join us,” Harry says to Louis, in a voice certainly meant to make you squirm. 

“Oh you’re right, love, she definitely wants to,” Louis replies. 

He walks forward, until he’s standing right in front of you. His hands move to cup your face and he asks, “Would it be alright if I kissed you? Wouldn’t want to leave you out of the fun.”

You nod, but he gives you a look, silently telling you to use your words. “Yes, it’s alright,” you confirm. And then his lips are on you. They’re plush, yet demanding, and in no time his tongue is breaching your lips, caressing the inside of your mouth. 

As quickly as it began, the kiss ends. It leaves you breathless and dizzy. Louis steps back and you feel like you’ll fall to the floor, except now Harry is there, his hands on your hips. After once again asking your consent, he leans in for a kiss of his own. He’s softer, gentler and yet you’re still melting in his arms after just a moment of his lips pressing against yours. 

He pulls away and moves back, giving you space. And not a moment too soon because a second later Oli is reentering the bus holding a bag. 

“Lou, everything’s ready, time to go,” he says as he hands you the bag. 

“Got it, I’ll meet you out there in a second,” Louis replies.

“You’d better,” Oli lightheartedly threatens before leaving once again. 

“Listen,” Louis begins. “You know about the two of us now. And you enjoyed what you saw earlier. And those kisses, well that’s just the start of what we can do. We're staying at a hotel here in town tonight. If you’d like to join us, the invitation is open. Think about it and tell us after the show, okay?”

You look at both of them and see their serious expressions before saying a quiet, “Okay.”

“I have to run before Oli kills me,” Louis says, tuning to kiss Harry goodbye. 

“Break a leg babe, I’ll make sure Y/N has what she needs and get her out to watch you,” Harry says. Louis exits the bus and Harry turns to you, adding, “I have a spot we can watch from, the view is perfect. But you need to not be covered in cheese. The bathrooms over here if you want to rinse off and change.”

Harry leads you to the small bathroom, shows you how to use the shower, and hands you a towel before giving you some privacy. You undress and hop in the shower, quickly rinsing off all grime from the trash can. You wrap yourself in the towel and look in the bag of clothes, realizing it’s only shirts. No bottoms. Crap. You’d gotten distracted and forgot to get a pair from Louis before he left. 

One glance at your shorts proves there’s no way to salvage them for the evening. After making sure the towel covers you enough, you open the door and poke your head out. 

“Hey Harry?” You call, hoping he’s still nearby. 

“Yea?” He answers and walks around the corner to see you. When he sees your undressed state there’s an irrefutable look of lust on his face. He quickly schools his expression and says, “Need something?”

“Uhm, Louis was supposed to grab me some shorts?” You say uncertainly. 

“Oh right! Let me get something, hold on.”

He’s back a second later handing you a pair of shorts, and you change speedily. Once you finish you start hearing Louis’ intro. You shove your dirty clothes into the bag and Harry leads you out of the bus. 

There’s a building just next to the pit that he walks into. The two of you go upstairs to a room with windows. They’re obviously tinted so no one can see in, but you guys can see literally everything from here. There’s speakers as well so the sound is perfect. 

Other people are in the room, people who must be close to Louis in some way because none of them are shocked by Harry being there. The show is amazing, Louis does a fantastic job, and you’re so enthralled you almost forget about their offer from earlier. 

Almost. 

When the show ends, the room clears out, but Harry stays there and asks you to wait with him. A few minutes later Louis enters, literally glistening in sweat. He rushes to Harry, and they meet in a dirty kiss. You audibly gulp at the sight, your body temperature rising. 

They turn to you then, and Louis asks, “Did you make a decision?”

“We don’t want to pressure you,” Harry says, and Louis nods seriously beside him. “But we’d love for you to join us if you want.”

You hesitate for a moment. This would be new territory for you. Never before had you slept with two men, let alone two famous men. 

And then you stop debating. Because really, you’d be crazy to turn down this offer. “I want to,” you reply, happy to hear how sure and confident you sound. 

“Well then, our ride is just downstairs,” Louis says and he leads you both out to a waiting car. 

The driver asks no questions as the three of you slide into the backseat. You’re squished in the middle, and highly aware of each point of contact you have with the boys on either side of you. It’s scary, but mostly, it’s exhilarating. You find yourself anxious for the ride to end, eager to get somewhere private. 

You enter the hotel through the back door and take a service elevator to the top floor. Louis’ suite is immaculate, and you’d normally be exploring every inch. But you’re not the only one antsy to get things going. 

As soon as the door latches shut, Louis is pressed against your back, his arms wrapping around your waist and his half hard cock obvious where it pushes on your bum. Harry stands in front of you,  his hand going to your face, but he doesn’t lean in. Not until Louis tells him to, and then his mouth immediately finds yours. 

You can tell there’s definitely a slight power dynamic here, and Louis seems to be in charge. Which is more than fine by you. Truthfully you’re a bit out of your depth and would love for someone to lead you here. 

It’s easy to see that Harry was holding back during the kiss earlier. There’s no more hesitance, and while he may be submissive when it comes to Louis, he definitely has a dominant side if the way he takes control of the kiss is anything to go by. 

Harry curls his tongue around yours at the same moment as Louis, now fully hard, grinds against you. The two sensations together pull a needy moan from your mouth as your body goes lax. Louis tightens his grip and Harry moves closer in order to keep you upright. 

“My turn,” Louis says and Harry immediately removes his lips and moves his hands away from your face. One of Louis’ finds your chin and he grips it lightly in order to turn your head to the side. He crashes his lips against yours and Harry’s hands start to explore your body. 

“Please,” you whimper out, unsure what you need but knowing that it’s just more. 

“Sound so pretty when you beg,” Louis says. 

“And while you do look fantastic in my husband's merch,” Harry says, “how about we get you out of it for now?”

You nod, loving the sound of getting rid of the clothes that now feel unpleasant on your sensitive and overheated skin. Harry slips your shirt over your head as Louis shimmies your shorts off, leaving you in your simple bra and panties. Both boys then remove their own shirts, and you pause a moment to take in their bare torsos. Their skin feels so smooth as you run your fingertips over their newly exposed tattoos. 

Your hands continue moving south, until they glide over both of the boys' hard cocks, causing the sweetest sounds to ring out. Emboldened by their noises of desire, you slowly sink to your knees. 

“Please,” you say again, this time clearly knowing what you want. Harry and Louis know as well, and waste no time removing the rest of their clothing. Your mouth waters at the two beautiful cocks as they’re revealed to you. While Louis is a tad longer, Harry is definitely wider. But truthfully, you have no doubt that they both would satisfy you immensely. 

You start by wrapping a hand around each of them, gripping just firm enough to give a hint of pleasure. You lean to Louis first, licking his tip before moving to do the same for Harry.  You feel them shiver in pleasure and decide to take it further. Turning back to Louis, you wrap your lips around him, moving down a couple inches until he brushes the back of your throat. You pull back slightly and begin to move up and down, using your hand for the base that doesn’t fit. 

When his moans grow louder you pull off, turning to Harry and repeating the process. Your lips stretch around him, and you feel more arousal drip into your already wet underwear. After a minute, you’re being pulled to your feet and both boys kiss you messily before maneuvering so you’re lying on your back in bed. 

“Harry, why don’t you show her how much we appreciate what she just did for us,” Louis says. Once again, Harry doesn’t think, just acts. You jolt at the feeling of his lips pressing a kiss to your clit over your panties.

“Jesus, love, you’re fucking drenched. Lou, you have to see this.”

Next you feel Louis’ fingers moving along the gusset of your underwear before he says, “You’re just gushing baby. Why don’t we get this off, they’re ruined anyway, won’t do you much good.” 

You nod vigorously, wanting him to remove them and hoping he’ll do the same with your bra so you can be completely free, completely bare in front of them. You’re in luck, because as he slowly slips the material down your legs, Harry takes care of your bra for you, leaning down to wrap his lips around each breast in turn. 

“She’s ready for you,” Louis says. “Switch with me.” 

Harry does so, and he immediately begins eating you out. It starts gentle, but just for a moment. A couple kisses to your thighs quickly turns into him running his tongue along your folds and then drawing circles on your clit. 

He teases your hole more than once, but never enters which drives you wild. He continues working you up while Louis takes over playing with your breasts, kissing and placing light bites to your nipples. That’d never brought you pleasure before but mixing with what Harry’s doing, it has you seeing stars in no time at all. 

Together the two of them bring you to your first orgasm of the night. It crashes over you in waves, and leaves you moaning and thrashing on the bed. 

You try to catch your breath, but they barely give you a break before switching spots and starting the process over again. But this time Louis does more than tease your hole. His tongue breaches your entrance first before he replaces it with two fingers. 

They curl just right and he instantly finds that perfect spot inside of you. His mouth moves to your clit, sucking it in while his fingers continue their ministrations inside you. 

Meanwhile, Harry’s hands are roaming your body, leaving tingly hot sensations over every bit of skin they find. He’s also murmuring in your ear, his warm breath blowing on your neck as he says things like, “Love those pretty noises you’re making for us,” and,  “Just listen to how wet you are,” and, “Gonna be a good girl for us? Come again, all over Lou’s hand?”

The combination of those words being said in Harry’s low, gruff voice, and Louis fingers and tongue working you up just right has you hurtling into your next orgasm. You cry out again and it rolls through you, even more intense than the last one. 

“Fuck,” Harry says. “You just squirted, why didn’t you tell us you could do that? I might’ve worked harder, which you’d gushed on my face like that.”

“I didn’t- I what? I’ve never done that before. I didn’t know.” Your mind is fuzzy but you try to reply. You can’t believe that just happened. And they liked it? They weren’t grossed out?

You must’ve said that last question out loud because Louis is up by your face a moment later saying, “Not at all. That was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen. Think you have one more in you? Can you take Harry in that perfect cunt?”

“I think so,” you reply, laying bonelessly on the bed. 

“You think? Do you want to stop here? We don’t want to push you too far,” Louis says, his voice gentler now. 

“No! I don’t want to stop. I can take it, I promise,” you reply. You don’t know what’s gotten into you, but the idea of stopping before they’ve both come has you feeling almost guilty. You want them to feel the same kind of pleasure they already gave you. 

“Okay, just let us know if it’s too much and we’ll stop,” he says before stepping away for a moment. 

He comes back with two foil packets and a small bottle. He and Harry both open a packet and you watch as they each slide a condom down their lengths. 

“Lou’s gonna fuck me while I fuck this pretty pussy, does that sound good to you?” Harry says. 

“Sounds perfect,” you answer. 

You’re still laying on your back, definitely earning a pillow princess title but everyone seems to be fine with that. Harry’s hands gently grip your thighs and he pushes your legs open wide, kneeling in between to get into position. But instead of lining up with your entrance, he gets on his hands and knees. 

You realize that they’d opened you up already, but Harry needs prep too before he can take Louis. You expect Louis to finger him open, but gasp along with Harry when Louis pulls a plug out of Harry instead. You realize that’s been there all night, was probably put in shortly before you walked in on them earlier. 

The thought sends another wave of desire through you, and while a second ago you weren’t sure how much more you could take, now you're desperate to be filled. 

“You ready baby girl?” Louis asks, coming over to press another kiss to your lips. The gentle peas of his lips to yours settles you, and when he pulls away there’s a calm smile on your face and you reply, “I’m ready.”

“Okay. Harry, show our girl what you can do.”

A moment later you feel Harry’s tip at your entrance. You thought they’d opened you up before, but you must’ve underestimated Harry’s size, because you feel each second of him gently pushing inside. It’s a pleasant pain that quickly shifts to only pleasure. 

“One more thing,” Louis says before lifting your hips to slide a pillow under you. Harry moves as well, and you moan as he hits even deeper inside you. This also puts him in a better position to take Louis from behind. 

You feel, more than see, when Louis slides into Harry. He thrusts gently inside you, and leans down to bite your neck while letting out the neediest whine you’ve ever heard come from a man. It’s also possibly the hottest sound you’ve ever heard from a man. 

They fall into a rhythm, controlled by Louis, and the three of you fall speechless. The room is filled with a cacophony of moans and whimpers, as well as the noises being made by your bodies connecting over and over. 

You come first, your walls squeezing around Harry’s cock, pulling him in impossibly deeper. Your body feels almost numb, somewhat tingly, and your brain grows even fuzzier. It’s like there’s a disconnect between the two. It’s a weird feeling, but not unpleasant. 

Harry’s thrusts start to grow sloppy and he tucks his head into your neck as he comes. You feel the pulsing of his cock inside you, and his moans vibrate against your neck. Even after he’s finished, he remains inside and you can feel the way Louis is moving in him as it jostles you as well. 

Louis whines grow higher until he stills, holding himself flush to Harry before finally pulling out. Harry slides out of you as well, slowly and gently, knowing you’re probably sore after three rounds with them. 

They lay on either side of you, each wrapping and arm over your waist. After you all catch your breath Louis asks, “You okay love?”

A smile spreads on your face as you reply, “I’m so, so okay. That was amazing.”

“Glad you liked it,” Harry says. 

You continue to bask in the afterglow until Harry finally states, “We should probably get cleaned up.”

You suddenly become aware of how sticky your legs are and reply, “That’s probably a good idea. Any chance you have spare sheets?” Your mind and body are fully reconnected now and you can feel how soaked the bed is under you. 

“Better yet, there’s a second bedroom. Completely unused bed in there,” Louis informs you. 

He gets up, reaching a hand out, helping you stand as well. The three of you end up taking a shower and they gently clean you up, pressing only the gentlest kisses to any marks they left on your skin. 

After drying off you end the night in a soft, comfortable bed, Harry on one side and Louis on the other. They whisper praises, telling you how good you were, how much they enjoyed their time with you. You fall asleep feeling more satisfied than you can remember ever being before. 

Soft light filters through curtains the next morning when you wake up. Harry is still in bed, awake and scrolling on his phone. 

“Good morning,” you say. 

“Good morning. How did you sleep?” He asks.

“Wonderfully. How about you?”

“Best rest I;v;e had in weeks,” he answers with a soft smile. “Lou’s just getting everything ready. We need to leave in an hour to get to the next venue,” he informs you. 

“Oh, yea, I should probably be going.” No sense dragging it out anymore, now that the night is over. 

“Of course not. You can’t go until you’ve had breakfast with us. I mean, we didn’t buy you dinner before getting you into bed, the least we can do is get you some breakfast after,” he says with a laugh, his dimples showing and making you blush. “It should be here soon. We didn’t know what you’d like so we got a few options.” 

“Thanks, that’s really kind of you.” 

Harry pulls you in and you relax in his embrace until Louis pops into the room saying “Food’s here.”

You move to get out of bed and then realize that you’re not wearing anything. Louis notices your predicament and disappears again before returning with the other t-shirt Oli had gotten you the previous evening, as well as a clean pair of boxers and shorts and your own bra. He leaves again giving you privacy to get dressed, which you do quickly. 

You join them for breakfast, happy to see they've gotten pancakes, your favorite. Louis also pours you a cup of tea, making it a perfect start to the day. 

“Oh, by the way, where is your car parked?” Louis asks. 

Truthfully you’d forgotten you had a car. Had forgotten life outside this hotel exists. So you pull up your phone and look at the dropped pin you’d placed last night to remember when you’d parked. 

“It’s just a few blocks from here,” you say, showing him the screen. 

“Ok perfect, a member of my team will be here in a minute to grab your key and pick it up to bring it to the hotel.”

“Oh that’s alright, I don’t mind walking.” Though as you say it, you realize it’d be a walk of shame, which you’re not thrilled about.

“I insist. Don’t want you walking that far, especially not after last night,” he adds with a cheeky smile. You blush for the thousandth time, knowing exactly what he’s thinking about. 

Someone does come to grab your key, effectively ending the walk down memory lane. The three of you chat for a bit, the boys asking you questions about yourself before Louis shifts awkwardly and says, “I noticed the NDA in the bag when I was grabbing your shirt. I truly hate to ask but-”

“You don’t have to ask. Of course I’ll sign.”

“Thank you love, it just gives us peace of mind.”

“I’m more than happy to.” You promptly get up to grab the papers and a pen, handing it to Louis once completed. “I really enjoyed spending the night with you guys. And not just the sex, but everything else too. You really take aftercare seriously,” you say with an awkward laugh. 

“Well, we do pride ourselves on being gentlemen,” Harry replies, flashing you another dazzling smile. 

Louis receives a text a minute later and says, “They’ve got your car downstairs, and we really should be getting going.”

You all stand up and they each pull you in for a hug. 

“I think I speak for both of us when I say we really enjoyed last night,” Harry says. 

Louis adds, “Absolutely. We’re so glad you agreed to be with us.”

“Well I’m just happy falling into a trash can full of cheese actually had a good outcome.” 

They both laugh at that before each giving you one more kiss and saying goodbye. 

You drive home in a daze and spend the day just thinking about the events of the previous night. You call your mother as promised, telling her a mostly fabricated story of your night which to her knowledge, ended with you arriving home before midnight.  

And when you watch a livestream of Louis’ show that evening and hear him mention how much he loves nacho cheese, you know it’s his way of saying he’s thinking of you. 

You know you’ll remember that night for a long time, and hope they will as well.

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AN: Thanks for reading, I'd love to hear what you thought about this first Larry x reader story! Requests are open if there's anything you'd want to see in the future

#harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #louis tomlinson x reader #harry styles x louis tomlinson x reader #harry styles x louis tomlinson #one direction fanfiction

[nohoney]

being with work from home boyfriends

characters: midoriya izuku (deku), bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto

MIDORIYA:

he’s the type to work just a teensy bit overtime cuz he wants to look something over one last time

sometimes he’s just a bit too diligent and when you call him to get off his laptop, it usually takes at least two or three times for him to actually mean his, “yes honey, i’ll be right there.”

midoriya has some workaholic tendencies so you really have to be firm with him when you tell him, “it’s five, no more work.”

“i know sweetheart, just give me a little extra time to look over this-“

“no. it’s five so that means it’s you and me time.”

he’d be all sheepish about it but grateful for you keeping him in check. “okay okay, i’m clocking off now. sorry honey.”

midoriya for sure has those adjustable standing desks, he likes them way better than the stationary ones

he also let you put whatever knickknacks you wanted on his desk like one of those squeaky stress toys and a small little plant for him to care for

the plant you gave him is actually a pretty successful way for him to take a break from his work, midoriya will water it or take it outside and kinda just sit in the sunlight with it while he gets some fresh air (also notes the rate of growth so that he can talk to you about it too)

there’s also notebooks on his desk too, he half prefers to write his stuff down so that it takes his eyes off a computer screen for bit

but in the same way he can get caught up being on his computer, midoriya tends to also peruse his work notes as well

be patient while you help him with work-life balance, midoriya at the end of the day always wants to relax with you

━━━━✧

Izuku is still staring forward at his laptop screen, looking over the meetings he has scheduled for tomorrow. There are two that are gonna be overlapping just slightly around ten and he has to tab in his notes for both of them and compile them later on and share them with his team members. Plus there’s the new revised manual that was released that still needs to be looked over and he thinks it would be helpful to cross reference the old with the new one and compare what’s newly introduced for policies and procedures, and then-

“Izuku.”

Your voice cuts through his train of thought because it’s always obvious when his thoughts start into that slow jog and then eventually into a sprint of more planning and thinking ahead. So it’s important to stop him once it’s that time for him to click his status on his chat application through work for ‘offline’. His work ethic is admirable but he’s just newly appointed to this lead position so while it makes to be on top to show you deserve the promotion, it’s just as important to relax from the duties expected.

“Hi sweetie, sorry. I was doing it again, huh?” He offers you a small smile when he turns back to look at you. His desk chair is pushed off to the side in favor of him spending the last half hour on his feet with his desk raised to a comfortable level for him.

You watch as he signs off on his work applications and when he closes his laptop, you begin the two step process of ending his work day. The first step is lowering the desk back to its original height and making sure everything is put in place for the next work day. His desk chair is pushed back to the desk and Izuku steps away from his work station. The second step is something you employed just two months ago from an article you read; just giving each other a thirty second hug to really appreciate one another.

Izuku has been loving this end of day routine since you brought it to him. You were happy to share the article when you had found it, thinking he would appreciate a good read, and your boyfriend quite literally embraced it into his life.

When the thirty seconds are up, Izuku gives you one last little squeeze in his arms before pulling back. “I appreciate you, I want you to know that.”

You can’t help but agree with a humble little, “Yeah I know.”

The two of you flash loving smiles to one another before you take his hand in yours, leading him away from his work space and to the kitchen. Prepped on the countertop are ingredients for the two of you to make dinner together, something you had been wanting to do for a while since you couldn’t remember the last time the two of you had made a meal together.

Work is important, it absolutely is, but Izuku cherishes how you’re able to pull him away and remind him of the things that are really worth living for like thirty second long hugs and having dinner together.

BAKUGOU:

bakugou’s work office is pretty much off limits when he is on the clock, literally told you “if the door is closed, don’t fucking bother”

literally does mean it, he’s so damn anal about it and he will come out of the office to take a break when he wants to

he also uses a laptop for work but has a monitor that he can plug into for when he needs to use dual screens

for the most part when you walk by it’s quiet, when he’s on a call with coworkers he’s participating when expected to, and you know when he’s having an important meeting when he sounds so formal sort of gives you the heebie jeebies actually

bakugou is the type to clock in as early as possible seeing as he’s up early anyway

8am meeting? not an issue for him

but coffee is also necessary for him to get his morning started before he opens all of his work applications

when bakugou does come out for a break, he’s always gonna make his way to you first and get in a little bit of quality time before he has to hole up again in his office “alright baby, i’m going back. don’t be noisy, i got a call.”

his office is his space so you tried not to impose too many of your things in there, though if bakugou happens to take one of your things and puts it there himself it’s a different story

and one day he has some package delivered that’s shoved into his office, you don’t think anything of it until a few days later he wants to show you the thing that he put in his office

━━━━✧

“Hey, get over here.”

“Ask me nicely Katsuki.”

Your boyfriend tuts and nods his head towards the door of his office. You make your way over and stand with him, he’s got one hand on the doorknob but he makes no move to open it just yet. His eyes peer at you and you’re still left waiting for what he called you over for.

“You know I need to concentrate when I’m in here, right?” Katsuki asks you.

You nod your head in answer.

“I like getting my shit done on my time, so I need you to not be a nuisance because of what I’m about to show you.”

There’s really no clue what he’s getting at so you just give him a little ‘okay’ and watch as he opens the door to his office. Inside the room, he’s got an L-shaped desk that has his monitor and laptop arranged where he wants them, the moon lamp you impulsively bought that you weren’t sure where to place on a little side table, a chaise lounge for when he wants to lay down for a bit in his space, and his drum set in the corner.

But you do see the newest addition to the space which is a macrame chair hammock pushed to the corner.

You approach it and inspect the swing of the hammock before sitting down it. The stand holds your weight just fine and you enjoy the little swing of the tassels on the bottom. “It’s really cozy Katsuki, you bought this for me?”

It’s really a shock because for the longest time Katsuki had always insisted that this room be just for himself. You respected it since everyone was entitled to a space that they wanted to call their own so you feel honored that he was opening up just a little more for you. It inspires faith that the two of you were becoming more intimate with one another.

Katsuki plucks one of the strings to the hammock before he steadies it. “Yeah, you give me that dumb little pout whenever I have to go back in here to work. So this is for you, you can hang out in it if you’re not gonna bother me.”

Truthfully you think he got it so that he doesn’t have to ask you for your company, that instead of always having to meet you out in the living room or kitchen he’s made a place for you that he says you’re welcome to.

Yeah, you see right through him.

It is a very thoughtful thing of him to do so you properly thank him with a hug and a kiss. “Thank you! I love it and I promise I’ll be good in it!”

“Yeah you’re welcome baby.”

From then on, instead of a closed door Katsuki keeps it slightly ajar so that you know when it’s okay for you to enter. And you don’t mention anything, but you pretend to not see when he glances back at you in the hammock and see him more relaxed with you in the corner while he works.

SHOUTO:

todoroki keeps his desk inside his bedroom surprisingly

even more surprising is that he owns two sleek, expensive monitors that are on mounts so that he can move them around

honestly he just got them because his brothers said so, he doesn’t have a clue about these things but todoroki does like the range of being able to move his equipment

he is diligent but mostly relaxed when it comes to his work from home duties

if there’s nothing going on and he’s caught up, todoroki will just pick up the novel he’s been reading on the side as a break and sort of wait to get pinged

is awkward during virtual team meeting icebreakers but in an endearing way

“show an item on my desk? let’s see, i have this coffee cup my friend kaminari gave to me. it says java nice day, it was a souvenir. i prefer tea but i drink coffee from it when he comes to visit.”

todoroki uses more virtual apps for keeping track of his work that are also backed up on the cloud but he does utilize the planner you gave him when it suits him

he absolutely does not mind if you accidentally walk in during his zoom meeting, sometimes he’ll even ask if you want to say hi to his team members

will get up frequently just to check up on you and then go right back when you tell him that you’re fine

━━━━✧

“Thank you for lunch darling, it was wonderful.”

“You’re welcome Shouto. I’m gonna just hang out here and watch something, maybe take a nap.” You tell him as you pour him his tea and hand his cup to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek and passing by him to make yourself comfortable.

Shouto sits down at his desk after having lunch with you with a fresh cup of tea at his side. While he logs back into his computer and programs, he can hear you from the kitchen and putting things away. He had offered his help to clean up but you insisted that you were fine doing it on your own.

You are free to come and go as you please into the bedroom but a lot of the time you tend to just stay out the room until he logged off. Shouto appreciates that you give him space to work though it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if you’d like to just hang out in the background quietly.

So he gets up from his chair and goes to the living room to see you lounging in the chaise with the tv remote in your hand.

Naturally you look up when he enters the room. “Hey Shouto, did you need something? You still hungry?”

“No darling, I’m fine. I was wondering if you would just stay in the room with me.”

You politely decline at first but Shouto sees that it actually makes you happy when he insists that you would be no bother to him. There’s practically a skip in your step as you follow behind him into the room and he can’t help the soft smile that comes onto his face when you make yourself comfy in bed.

“Would you like me to put a movie on for you?” Shouto offers to which you nod your head.

He adjusts the second monitor on its mount so that it’s more in your view and uses your login info for one of the streaming sites you pay for. He even takes the time to choose what movie you’re going to watch even though he’s not going to be engaged in it whatsoever while he works. And once he sets up your movie, he just turns to his own monitor and continues on with his work.

Every once in a while Shouto hears you move around a little and is content to have your presence even though the two of you are not engaging with one another. When he sees that the credits are rolling for the movie, he turns around to ask if you would like another movie to be played but sees that you had fallen asleep. You’re curled up on your side with your cheek smushed into the pillow and Shouto can’t help but smile at the sight.

He doesn’t know when you fell asleep but he puts on a timer for half an hour to wake you up so that you don’t nap too long. And after he wakes you up from your nap and you insist that you look like a sleepy mess, Shouto assured you that you look perfectly fine and was happy to have you in the same room as he worked.

#midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #bnha fluff #bnha x reader

[athetos]

Okay, a bunch of theories (and mysteries that need to be solved) for severance season 2 I’ve conjured up:

- Irving’s outtie is actually undercover, and might have figured out a way to recall some of his memories, even if it’s only in dreams or through art - he keeps painting the hallway to the test floor, and occasionally paint drips when his innie is at work. The fact he already had Burt’s address written and circled on the map also lends a lot of credence to this theory. Plus, while the stuff was hidden in a false bottom, I kind of wonder if he expected at one point for his innie to take over outside of work. He could have used a cipher for his information, but chose not to. Maybe his chip was tampered with by the same woman who reintegrated petey… maybe they’re working together?

- and he’s so intent on exposing Lumon because he knows that they’re planning to use this shit for military purposes. It always goes back to finding ways to kill other people, and what’s better than soldiers with no baggage or memories of home to weigh them down, that have literally nothing to live for outside of war, and at the end the original consciousness won’t have ptsd or be able to leak information?

- was all the navy stuff really Irving’s, or his father’s, or a mix of both? Is he trying to avenge his father who died in war, potentially due to Lumon’s involvement? I’m betting it’s that.

- Gemma was absolutely a test to see if mark would recognize her, and he couldn’t. But why use her as a guinea pig? She supposedly died in the car accident a minimum of one month before mark joined Lumon, and mark has been there 2 years, with ms Clare only being awake for a little over 100 hours in that time. No, they had her in their possession before he joined. I think they might have been looking for test subjects, and had enough power and money to straight up abduct people with severe injuries from the hospital and tell their families they died. Or, perhaps Gemma was conscious and they got her to consent to experimental life-saving medical procedures from Lumon, with the caveat that she would work for the company afterwards… and never leave it, living on the test floor. Probably left that part out though.

- the “revolving” is probably some shit where they upload their consciousness into a computer. They’re possibly the board. Scratch that, they’re probably the board.

- what was so important about that card that milchick needed to do overtime contingency to find it?? Why risk him seeing his family or even getting a single glimpse of his outtie’s life over a stupid card?? Even if they’re related to sleeper agent shit, why couldn’t it wait until he was back at work the next day?? I’ve seen some people say they didn’t want them to know they could smuggle shit out (which let’s be real there’s no way the writing detecting scanner works), but wouldn’t the outtie have noticed it on him? If they knew he didn’t have it, then just wait until the following day it must be at work…

- okay were the sex workers severed or not. Actually i really fucking hope not because that opens way too many fucked up shit.

- harmony had medical equipment that said “Charlotte cobel” on it. At first i thought oh wow maybe it’s a dead partner, but reflecting more it’s got to be a dead (or presumed dead) daughter. Lumon could have offered to save her life or treat her if she worked for them, which would give her major motivation and explain why she had such an intense breakdown upon being fired. Plus - she had to know all that breastfeeding stuff from somewhere!

#severance #severance spoilers #I watch shows sometimes

[granulesofsand]

Ableism for DID

🗝️🏷️ I’m mad and wrote a short essay about it. Therapy goals, RAMCOA mentions, angry tone

It’s not good practice to be pushing integration the way people are. Not fusion, integration — memories, abilities, experiences. The treatment is still taking a system and forcing them close enough together to pass as a singlet.

Some systems probably need that, maybe if members aren’t being responsible with the body while out or flashbacks only stop by putting together pieces. But not every system will. Even communication across the system might not be a priority.

Integration does remove dissociative barriers, but it also risks flooding alters into one another when they really don’t want that. It should be thought out as much as any treatment goal, and having it as a standard only serves to undermine a clients authority over their own therapy.

Big System

The way we find out about system members is mostly exponential. I’m not convinced it ever ends, I think if you kept following alters who knew alters you would just end up overcrowded into the abyss.

We knew about 8 people the first time we thought we were done. It was 20 by the time we got through that sidesystem, not including their nested subsystems. When we learned about those, it went up to 40ish, then 60. We haven’t actually found everyone there yet, it goes pretty deep.

We were scared and excited when we found 100. That was a whole other sidesystem, plus a few from elsewhere. People kept logging until we hit 200, then 300. We only just decided to keep track of fragments, which is kind of nightmarish itself, and so far we have like 20 of them that are stable and take front often.

I know of several hundred fragments. Some are connected to alters, some are memory holders, some specific skills or traits unique to them. There is onegroup that are all shapeshifters, but they take the same form throughout so it’s hard to tell if it’s one alter with duplication abilities or like 30. We call them Omen, they are like our tornado sirens.

There are so many of them. We’re figuring out patterns and programs, so that’s been great and helpful. Getting to know everyone is huge, and it has dark sides. Not everyone knows they are a person, or that they are allowed to elaborate.

It takes a lot of faith on their part to take the leap and feel like themselves. We work on separation and healing with each person, and we don’t need more convincing that we aren’t. It was a big part of our trauma to not be a person, and some of it was based on our multiplicity. None of us could be a person, so none of us got human rights. That’s not okay.

Individuality

We have a lot of alter groups that are all elaborated. They all seem like full people, each with several hobbies and a life history and worldview that has changed throughout their existence. Sometimes subsystems are more part-like, but sometimes there are 5 iterations of a fractal and all of them are whole, solid people.

I know that we share a body. I know that we could have been one person, given better circumstances. But it still hasn’t been our experience that having a lot of us equals each of us having less. We use different parts of the brain differently, but we don’t literally occupy that space.

I don’t see why we can’t be individuals on the alter level. Integration, either of alters or of memories and skills, is such a priority for healing. We don’t see it that way. Our therapist doesn’t see it that way. Our boundaries between system members are largely the same as between our body and outsiders. It would be better for us if we could interact system member to singlet, but that would require us being seen as more than one.

It’s so much harder to get people to treat us as separate when the goal is to act like one person. We’ve been healing one-on-one in therapy, and we put memories together like authors of a book, restricted to those who need to see.

We don’t want to share memories or feel bad we don’t work like a singlet, because we’re not. And the size of our system doesn’t make us any less. It isn’t better than how singlets are, it just isn’t the same. It’s inherently a different experience, and forcing a system to function differently feels the same as when we had to put away our autism for allistics.

Stop making us bad for being different. Stop making us hide away the ugly. Stop forcing us into little boxes that we already know the whole group doesn’t fit, let alone a system with extensive trauma. Even without the trauma, it costs nothing but mental energy to treat us as we ask. If you can’t do that, don’t bother interacting with us at all.

TL;DR: systems/alters also deserve autonomy and the right to set boundaries. If that’s too hard, don’t be friends with that system.

#did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #traumagenic system #actuallydid #did system #ramcoa #tw ramcoa #polyfragmented system #osddid #polyfrag system #system

[mattodore]

okay so because previous anons asked about sex, I wanna ask about aftercare, how they act after sex? oh and i’m curious how their sex life change after being together for a while

xoxo <3

their aftercare isn't always aftercare-101, if i'm honest. theo is very bad at it and doesn't really... ever... do that for matthias. and matthias may be very good at giving aftercare but theo is incredibly resistant to it. i mentioned earlier that theo really gets off on praise, but... he also flinches away from it. he's so twisted up about so much of what he wants and he's really, uh... well. he makes it really hard to get close to him and offer comfort despite how much he desires it. matthias can't say certain things without scaring theo off (and i mean, like, theo will quite literally run away), so he has to talk around what he wants to say and what theo needs to hear to prevent theo from bolting before he can bring him down.

matthias takes a long time cleaning theo up and massaging his muscles after, and he'll hum or talk to himself in polish so theo knows he's still there touching him (but isn't stirred before he comes to himself on his own by english he can understand). when he's finished, he'll ask theo very simple yes or no questions that let matthias know how theo's feeling without outright asking how he's feeling. he also checks on theo throughout the day, but he has to be even more subtle there or theo starts to feel smothered. is your body okay? do you want me to get you dressed? does your head hurt? do you want me to read to you? he focuses on asking about the physical and what theo wants to do rather than theo’s emotions. matthias has learned that asking if theo's feeling okay after is a quick way to trigger a very, very negative response in theo. it's one of the reasons why i think matthias is constantly asking theo in the heat of sex how he's feeling, because that's when theo is so preoccupied by the physical aspect that the emotional effects leak out without him fighting to keep them in. it takes a few months for theo to get comfortable with the feelings he has after sex with him before matthias can really give him proper aftercare. that’s why the sex they have early on is never anything too crazy. matthias coaxes theo into a better place first.

​i also think it’s important to clarify that it’s not like they’re always having kinky sex. still, theo usually needs physical touch after vanilla sex as well. matthias himself always craves conversation afterwards, so he waits for theo to stir awake (because he often falls asleep after sex) or come back into his body fully to talk to him.

as for changes to their sex life after they’ve been together for awhile… i believe i've talked about this before, but their sexual dynamic turns on its head after a few years. theo starts to take control of the reins and gets more comfortable asking for and doing what he wants. with theo he just has a lot holding him back and it's only after he's grown as a person and worked past a majority of his intimacy issues that he can act on the desires he's been burying waaay down. there's a sort of brattiness that theo starts to have a lot of fun with during sex—a lot of pushing and prodding, withholding, insulting... matthias is having the time of his life lmao, like he loves being challenged and pushed around. matthias takes on a more submissive role during sex as they age, which is fun for him. plus it's kind of the dynamic they've always had outside of sex anyway. of course, there are never any set roles in their sexual life so i'm not saying that it's always like that, but theo enjoys telling matthias what to do and how to do it. they have a lot of fun with it.

#river dipping #asks #anonymous #oc extras #nsft #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #finally done..... actually patting myself on the back for being able to answer all of these in a day and a half like #normally being asked anything abt my ocs takes me forever to get to bc i just take everything so seriously #......................................exhibit a: this reply jnjhkjfnghk #my ocs are just really complicated so i feel like i have to really expand upon each new bit of information #like theo is NOT ! well adjusted in the slightest #and while matthias can read people very easily it doesn't mean that there aren't times where he messes up #theo is very closed off and he will lash out at the slightest thing that spooks him #and he also... is not really experienced in having good sex yk? so he's so bad at aftercare which i guess is like. well. #good thing your partner is someone who's used to being left to his own devices after experiencing major physical and emotional stressors #matthias can usually take himself out of a scene just because of the nature of his past... #but i think theo does pick up on what matthias does for him after awhile and he tries incorporating it into 'aftercare' #but................. i don't think he really understands what all he should be saying and doing for a few years like not until he's #domming matthias more frequently and has taken the time to look at The Internet lmao jkfjnhkjn i imagine it shocks him a bit #matthias may be good at sex but he does have his blind spots and those normally involve himself… so he never told theo that what he does #for him should be reciprocated………… additionally matthias is very much a giver not a taker #like he doesn’t expect or even really want theo to ask how he’s feeling. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need that. #….have been rereading this for the last thirty minutes idk why this is what i’m like Yikes ! about responding to 😭 #whatever post ‼️ theo isn’t good at sex i’ve said it before who can be surprised he gives zero aftercare

[bourbon-ontherocks]

🪥-wise j’étais au bord de la syncope pdt la 1re scène du parloir 🕴️ shouting match. longing looks. there’s a literal wall between them. going from "I don’t need you" to "pls get involved in this mess and let my kid hide evidence" to "thank you" 😭😭😭😭 their other scenes were for the books too--asking her to work her magic, but she’s under pressure when suddenly "ouf c’est de l’or massif", mentalité de pie 😂

the carat-dec joke was so precious (mdr), les rapports se réchauffent !!! I’m glad there weren’t proper callbacks to earlier eps this time (except for the bookshelves!!), it left room for New stuff. plus some bits felt comfortingly familiar, like adam’s gestures when he asked morgane to get to the point (la petite graine !) 🥲❤ oh, & re: céline’s slippery slope… confirms she and adam are basically the same person. royal couple of getting roped into dates with people they’ve antagonized 😆

don’t you think "ça voulait dire quelque chose" was a bit too much? I wish both of them were in the dark about the other’s feelings. how are we gonna get that sweet, sweet pining if they know mutual affection is a real possibility? (+ don’t want roxane to become The Obstacle) we need a couple irremediable misunderstandings, stat 😈 tho the shot where they’re finally face to face outside was 😙👌 five feet apart but they were feeling awfully close 🥰🥰🥰❤

God, le parloir !! 😱😱 I'm glad I already knew about that scene before otherwise I would have died on the spot 😭 The way they look at each other, the way they talk, and you're right the evolution too, Adam compulsively yelling "I don't want to be involved with this" while actually being totally involved with this, Morgane being so angry, Adam qui s'exécute à toutes les conneries qu'elle lui demande sans rechigner (se baisser alors qu'on entend très bien, lui montrer le dossier à travers la vitre, arrêter de la regarder -- speaking of, arrêtez de me regarder j'arrive pas à me concentrer si c'est pas un aveu qu'il la trouble 🥹🥹, demander à Théa de planquer une pièce à conviction...)

Lol, mentalité de pie, le retour 😂

100% agreed re Adam's gesture, I too thought about the little seed joke!! And also I'm not sure I'd say their interactions are warming up, but they do seem to fall into reassuring, familiar patterns 🥲💕 Also the fact that Adam basically ran to the prison since Morgane's not even done with her check-in that he shows up in the parlor 🥹🥹

Oh gosh I didn't notice the ginormous parallel between Céline and Adam's date, to me Céline's arc felt like something exactly similar that happens in Engrenages, but I love how it applies to Adam and Roxane (hopefully not with the same outcome though?)

Now for "ça voulait dire quelque chose"... Oh boy...😱

I don't think it was too much at all, considering how Adam's previous words (ep 1 flashback) literally drove Morgane to quit and disappear for six months, and it probably would've lasted forever if it wasn't for this providential case. And I think he's aware of that, aware of his mistake, so this is his attempt at making up for what he said ("ça voulait rien dire") which obviously hurt her. I think she needed to hear that it actually meant something. And also for him it's perhaps the first time he's vocalizing out loud that he actually cares about Morgane, and that she's not just a pain in the ass. (Okay actually he said it before. It's just that he told her the exact opposite an hour later so the message may have gotten a bit confused lol).

ALSO HE TOLD HER THAT LOSING HER WAS HIS BIGGEST REGRET IN LIFE AND NOW I CAN DIE IN PEACE THANK YOU VERY MUCH 😱🥹😭⚰️

And I don't think this is going to end all their misunderstandings, because he instantly tempers it with the words "collègue" et "amie". After how hard he broke her heart, Morgane is probably done living on false hopes, so she's not gonna try and read more in those words than what he actually said. And what he said was I care about you as a friend (sure Jan).

So for me they're both still in the dark re each other's feelings. They probably picked up on the fact that they do not hate each other (well, Adam probably thinks she does now, but that she actually didn't when he kissed her lol), but they most certainly have no idea of how deep they're actually pining for the other's affection 💔

Also this whole scene 😘😘😘 And the five feet apart shot, the way they slowly walk towards each other, et leurs pas sont absolument SYNCHRONES ???? No wonder it's literally the first thing I giffed from that new season 😭❤️

#julia's adventures with the hpi anon #anon #ask #hpi #tf1 hpi #hpi tf1 #hpi season 3

[bohemian-nights]

Hey! A Daemon/Nettles and Shuri/Namur shipper!Another brave soldier!😍 Seriously it hasn’t even been a month since the movie came out and there’s already discourse over S/N. And don’t get me started on D/N and N haters oh boy. You know it’s really annoying me how no one would thought it was horrible that D/R hooked up at Laena’s funeral or that he made Laena feel second best or that he groomed her but when it’s about a black female character getting with their fav they see her as a threat and get suddenly all self righteous like “D can’t get with N it will ruin his character! Think about R!” We don’t know when their relationship started if they were indeed romantic or how either D or N felt about being together behind R’s back all we have are accounts that indicate they were very affectionate with each other and D was ready to die for her. The same D they claim dies for R and their family even though he would have most probably died protecting her.

Daemon x Nettles and Namor x Shuri are some of my favorite ships at the moment. I did not expect to see the level of hate surrounding Shuri and Namor on this website considering this is supposed to be a fandom space, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

They are enemies to lovers so I’m here for it and I hope the MCU expands upon their relationship and ditches the potential Namor and Sue Storm mess🤞🏽

Daemon and Rhaenyra hooking up almost immediately after Laena’s death is sadly book cannon. However, how he treated her in their marriage on the show was not.

People seem to absolutely love Rhaenyra though so anything that does not put her first they hate. They believe that she is somehow “the love of Daemon’s life”(do not get me started on this, I literally want to throw up when I here this).

Never mind the fact that Daemon was “cheating”(they basically had an open marriage so I’m using cheating loosely) on her left and right. Rhaenyra was actually okay with his outside affairs until he caught feelings.

I believe that Daemon and Nettles relationship is the romantic kind. He was willing to risk a lot for her. I’d say his relationship with her changed him for the better. She’s really the final chapter of his life.

The racial element of the hate is not lost to me either. Honestly I just want to see them do the story justice. I’ve seen people suggesting they take out altogether Nettles and replace her with Rhaena which would not work for several obvious reasons.

Nettles is a bada** character in her own right so not including her in the show would be a crime against humanity. Plus I want to see her and Daemons relationship/love play out on the small screen. Honestly I don’t think I can continue to watch HOTD unless they bring my girl in and give her the arc she deserves 🤷🏽‍♀️

#house of the dragon #hotd spoilers #bpwf #namor x shuri #seaprincess #daemon x nettles #namor #shuri #daemon targaryen #nettles #bring nettles in hbo #ask #answered #anti daemyra #I tried not to bash Rhaenyra too much #bnhotdask #bnhotdasks #bnasks #bnask

[spoonsforminutes]

I keep seeing posts of people hating on afab autistics (with the word white tacked onto it for people to sound progressive) accusing ‘low support/high functioning’ (put it in quotation marks because I know people don’t like functioning labels including me) afabs of ‘centring ourselves’ in the autism community especially on social media, accusing us of turning autism into a ‘quirk/superpower’ and saying we aren’t taking it seriously. What’s worse, a recent post I saw was by an autistic woman herself! When I called her a misogynist, she said I was ‘misunderstanding’ her post 😡

I understood perfectly well the ever ongoing debate on how there are ‘too many autistic afabs’ now. It was baffling to me that OP has a pretty large following for posting content on how she is constantly treated badly for being afab, then contributes to the stigma and responds to autism moms accusing afabs of ‘minimising’ our condition?!! I lost all my sympathy for them.

Idk, I’m just tired of afabs constantly being told we are taking resources, and now even ‘space’ online (can’t friggin win) when talking about health conditions/autism. We are always ‘taking from people who have it worse’ according to others. We are ‘taking high support needs people’s voices’. Exhausting.

I MEANT TO ANSWER THIS IN APRIL IM SO SORRY

With everything that's been going on in the sphere of gender issues, it's definitely made me realize that quite a few women or afab individuals have taken the misogynistic treatment they faced and then projected it onto others, perhaps as a way to process all the hurt and trauma. It's definitely not okay to do, but oftentimes projection is a way that people try to soothe themselves, but all it does is create more problems. As an afab individual myself who largely acts able-bodied despite the harm it does to my health, I've had a lot of people attempt to use my femininity to both praise my damaging work ethic while also sowing doubt into my own abilities, which is super fucking ableist to anyone regardless of their disability. Feminism should work to be more inclusive because whenever there are discussions around women's rights, a lot of it is rightfully on empowering women and balancing out gender inequality, but I don't think a lot of it can apply to those with disabilities. I think bout what happened to the term "girlboss": originally, it tries to empower women and womanhood to positions of power, but then the term became a meme and with it, all of its credibility was lost. Sexism turned it into a term where women in power can be ridiculed because "girlbossing" has shifted where the idea of afab individuals receiving authority is treated as a mockery due to undeserved effort, and that's ultimately what sexism is: anything outside of manhood and traditional masculinity is not given the same respect and thus allows anyone to degrade a whole person's effort based on their gender alone.

I hate functioning labels as well because by that logic, the fact that I'm college-educated and working makes it seem like I don't require support, but I do. EVERYONE needs support, but because the U.S. in particular is obsessed with individuality, community and mutual aid has been ridiculed by the capitalist mindset. Although I'm not autistic, I've had quite a few autistic friends, and genuinely I think autism is so cool. Like with my own disability, it can definitely suck ass, but everyone I've known with autism has strengths surrounding intelligence and humor. What's so wrong with considering it a superpower? It's literally your life and how you function, and especially since many able-bodied people want to make disability and neurodiversity a bad thing so that they can shame you, refusing to play into that and empowering yourself is huge. Plus, it's genuinely fun to upset people by being yourself. And since this particular autistic woman is complaining about both gender and autism, her projection just shows why ableism needs to be openly discussed and pointed out. I will probably struggle with internalized ableism all my life because neither culture nor disability awareness currently allow me to truly live life WITH a disability. Unfortunately, I feel that too much of the conversation is still about hiding or minimizing disability to appease the thoughts of others.

Sexism is also the reason for why people will complain about too many afab individuals with autism. I feel like the autistic community is well aware of the difficulties in being afab and getting a diagnosis because sexism is alive and well in our perspective of health. While getting my degree, I realized that gym bros are not actually wrong when they talk bout health and fitness; the actual issue again stems from how we view health and disability. Not only are gym bros operating on this assumption that everyone's health is fully able-bodied, but also they assume that every health issue can be fixed with a healthy lifestyle which isn't true? Ignoring the fact that research still uses white cisgender male data as the human physiological default, if you have an enzyme that doesn't function correctly in metabolism, intense exercise will definitely make you sicker, not better. It's the same with disability. With autism, the diagnostic criteria is supposed to help identify what possible supports you could need, but it still depends on what is actually helpful to you personally. With this economic crisis and the potential downfall of capitalism, disability is actually a great way to talk bout how capitalism isn't possible for anyone because productivity and the economy are talked about as if they are magical forces instead of behavior carried out by people. Capitalism pushes even able-bodied standards, so by supporting disability, we can also argue for better conditions for everyone, but that's the ideal scenario.

I ramble a lot when I write because writing is essentially how I think, but yeah, it's unfortunate that she's currently using her platform to push harmful ideas about gender, disability, and autism. No matter how severe your disability is, there is no such thing as taking away needed resources because those resources are for you. It's great if you don't need as much support as others, but if you need support, you should absolutely be allowed to do anything that makes your life easier. I'm largely going to be ignoring what society thinks bout disability and even about life in general because doing what society thinks has only ever hurt me. It's very funny to me when people try to complain about marginalized people as if we're the problem, not the people and the systems who reinforce the perspective that asking for help, asking for accommodations, is somehow a big ask. It's not, and I think we should be more mean about it because it's wild that we let people dictate what kind of support we can ask for.

To all of my autistic followers: hope you had a wonderful April, and please feel free to correct me on anything! I'm always learning, and your voice is incredibly important.

#disabled #disability #spoonie #mental health #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autism spectrum disorder #autism #gender #cw ableism #i dont get why people try to dictate what others do #we aren't playing oppression Olympics #you dont have to suffer to prove you deserve help #wedding speaks

[teaandtodolists]

Okay Erin. What’s going on here.

I’m really sad that I can’t be at OP (or GW), and have been exiled to the outer wastes of RP, where people suck and I hate working with them.

I should definitely try to solve this.

message Renan

email Otis and/or Chris???

apply to quant WVI role?

However, it would be quite stupid to be so sad about this that I neglect the cool things I do currently get to do.

My job literally right this minute is to work on vaccines for OP!

People like Enlli and Joe want to be friends.

(Plus my life being good outside of work.)

If I spent half my time on each of these it would still be more time than I’m currently spending on the latter, so let’s try that?? Half an hour of (feeling bad about /) trying to solve bad parts of my situation, but then half an hour of doing the cool parts of my situation. 

[impishtubist]

miss imp my deathday fic has been stuck at 11k for the past month because june has been a terrible writing month for me 😭😭 so despite my grand plans, i have no idea if i’ll have any contributions.

in lieu of that, here’s something i’ve been thinking about.

sirius goes over the veil, gets stuck in limbo, literally no peace for his mind, body or soul. he *knows* he’s not supposed to be there, but he is, and no matter how much he screams (can he scream? does he have a body?) or tries to break free, he can’t—and there u have the fourth kind of imprisonment he goes through in life. (GP, Azkaban, GP again)

a man can only take so much before he snaps, no?

fast forward a few years later, some development in the WW shows the veil isn’t actually an execution tool, it’s more of a prolonged torture chamber and a team of wizards start working to release those who’re stuck (perhaps harry is in it? he’s an unspeakable bc he wants a life away from the public? plus vested interest in the veil. he gets progressively horrified the more he finds out about it)

anyway, their efforts do…something…and sirius is ‘rescued’ for a measure of the word. but, he’s not okay, at all. he’s barely coherent, almost shut down, and it’s only his magic that’s keeping his husk of a body going.

it’s the most bittersweet moment for harry, because he gets his sirius back but…at what cost? he has to see his godfather, who’s always seemed to bounce back in some form, not even recognise him anywhere, look @ the world around him with blank eyes. it’s excruciating.

it can be angsty (sirius never recovers, his mind has permanently retreated inward bc it can’t trust the outside world to not hurt him anymore) or be more hopeful in the sense that harry’s love & care does make a difference. maybe he recognises him one day (or mistakes him for james), maybe he starts talking, maybe he can hold a conversation.

i don’t even know if this makes sense lol i’m just rambling in ur inbox bc i’m sad i don’t have anything 😭

My dude, you are so fine. I had so many grand plans for today. I had TWO fics I was going to post! Two! But one of them is stalled at 9K and the other at 11K, and we are very sad about it 😭

I love this! I love stories about characters being resurrected but coming back Wrong, whatever that means. I love the idea of the Veil being a prolonged torture chamber. I love Harry getting Sirius back, but not really getting him back.

Thank you for this delicious angst today <3

#imp speaks #sirius and harry saturday #sirius black deathday celebration

[enneamage]

Note: This was in the drafts a while before anything was announced, so while it may seem like it was brought on by recent events it was actually a rant that was composed a while ago. I can see that things are already softening on this front as people have had to re-visit the way that they use the word 'parasocial', but since most of this still stands I figured it would be okay as-is.

I’m not deep enough into sociology or social psychology to know what other terms exist for the million-plus things put under the ‘parasocial’ umbrella, but I know that word is overworked and misunderstood, stacked on top of the implicit judgement behind it. We’re currently playing ‘you parasocial you loose,’ as though having any relationship to a celebrity beyond a weird spartan business transaction is a sign of mental illness. Things can go off the rails, that’s always a possibility, but this is a huge concept we’re talking about.

I’m basically tired of watching people call other people ‘crazy’ for things that have a long standing precedent. Inconvenient for some of the people involved, sure, but the audience-celebrity interpersonal landscape is really old if you know where to look. People have looked to public figures to be symbols of things that they want or want to believe in for most of human history. Most people relate to at least one other person as a mix of a person and a symbol in some way. People look for people to put their hope and happiness in all the time. This is really, really normal, and ironically it’s been pathologized by people who don’t pay enough attention to ordinary life to notice it.

I think this is something that scares people because it doesn’t act like one-to-one interaction, so everyone is just ‘being weird.’ I don’t relate to internet celebrities the way I would my actual friends, I relate to them like internet celebrities. The problem is that how people relate to celebrity figures is a kaleidoscopic mindfuck by most social standards; some people see something important that they want to believe exists in the world, some people see a version of themselves, some people just want to invest in someone to make life feel more exciting. It's a personal desire inkblot test, and as long as people proceed with a good amount of self-awareness usually it works just fine.

“The brain can’t tell the difference between life and the internet so people think celebrities are their friends” is just not true, and it comes from bad brain science reporting. We are not that good at figuring out what the brain is doing at any given moment, even in our most advanced studies, but that means that things are too complex, not uncomplex. The grain of truth in it is that people do tend to bond with people that they feel are in their proximity, but this softening also happens through storytelling like television and books. It’s probably a good thing that humans have this trait, otherwise we would have reduced each other to ketchup thousands of years ago.

I think there’s a difference between “I literally perceive this person to be my friend” and “the positive feelings I have for this person could be classified as companionate, therefore I’m using friend-based language.” I am aware that I personally wouldn't treat or think of someone that I know as a Content Creator as a literal friend, and honestly I wouldn’t want to- if I wanted 'reality', I really would go outside. Sometimes I want something else :P. However, I understand (and have been) people who have used CC’s as sunlamps in hard or isolated times and have a lot of goodwill for them in that form. None of this is inherently evil.

Some people will have boundary issues, but that’s a separate problem from the very existence of a parasocial relationship. People who have struggled with socialisation will be like that in most aspects of their lives, not just because they got online. Some will reach beyond reasonable boundaries for a variety of reasons, and it can be problematic in a variety of ways, but the problem starts long before they log on and start watching content.  It takes emotional self-awareness to be able to sort companionate feelings from a companionate reality, which is a learned skill in all individuals.

Idealisation is natural, actually. All the standard relationship advice applies, but it’s something we’re wired to be predisposed to.“You’re experiencing parasocial delusions and projecting your desires”—it’s a crush, you silly goose, a celebrity crush. A good ammount of this 'madness' is a cousin of crush psychology, platonic or otherwise. Someone doesnt even need to be in parasocial proximity to develop a crush, they can be right up on the other person, it doesn’t make a difference.

I remember I was explaining these concepts to someone older, which always forces me to strip away the toxic internet gunk holding the concept up to make it understandable. When I explained that she would be mocked or belittled for having a friendly, positive regard for Yoga With Adriene, she was rightfully baffled. I also explained that people aren’t allowed to have celebrity crushes anymore, which she also found sad.

People like to take jabs at each other online for not behaving ‘normally.’ Let me tell you, when I went out into the world and finally touched that grass everybody was talking about, I was pissed that I had let my sense of normal and abnormal get warped by equally online people who claimed to know what 'normal' life looked like. The way people use the word “parasocial” right now is loaded, and carries way to many paradoxes in what it expects from people. Ultimately, it measures things against a baseline of normalcy that was invented by people who have a much narrower understanding of the world than they think they do.

#Parasocial Activity tag #I'm making this a series I have a lot to say about it #I tried to make this tame but it feels spicy in places

[1d1195]

Sam you could literally write ANYTHING and I swear I would devour it! I’m always excited for what you have planned!

June IS so far away😭 and it’s like the middle of june😭 I know EXACTLY how you feel about a never ending week! Getting to the end of the week was a struggle for me too :( my allergies ARE KILLING ME!!! And it’s very inconvenient! I am suffering and it’s not ideal at all!!

But I’m so excited for you to be done with the school year soon!!! I imagine it’s a bittersweet feeling but honestly you deserve a nice vacation away from school a bit!

And thank you 😭 I’m in a very weird stage in my academic life and sometimes it’s very hard to not worry about the futures especially rn! But thank you Sam, really i appreciate you even taking the time to even say anything about it 💗

I HATE PHONE CALLS TOO!! Which is why calling those fuck ass stores (I still love my local record shops🙄) was a HUGE deal for me! I don’t call people that much aside from my mom and dad lol or when I have to do adult things lol anyways I was so sad but I doubt I’ll get it at all since resellers are crazy for the pricing! Also tell me why I had a feeling you would have a yellow one?? Yellow seems like a color you would gravitate towards too! Plus you’re so real for saying everything he does is pretty lol

My weekend was not good since my allergies are making want to die lol but I’m okay I’ll get through it! Hope your weekend wasn’t too bad! I saw you had to postpone part 4 a bit and bestie that’s okay!!!! Take all the time you need, plus life gets busy so it’s understandable! Hope this week goes a bit better💗 I love you so much!!!-💜

Thank you for being so supportive, it means everything to me 💕

I think all the pollen from the tree outside my apartment is lodged in my throat. I don't even think it hit the ground this year. I'm suffering ™ right along side you. June will be here before we know it! 🤞

Always! Different routes to graduation don't mean anything. You're learning the same amount as anyone else who graduates with the same degree. You'll be a great graduate no matter when you do it, it's just important you're doing it! 💕

Same here, my sister and I talk on the phone and my bff insists on calling me. Mom and dad too. One major struggle I have to FIND a therapist is because I don't want to make a phone call 🙃😭 Like it's SO catch 22. Like what kind of anxiety loophole is that!?!

It's funny, when I wear yellow people think I look like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I love to wear yellow my TPWK t-shirt (that needs to retire tbh) is bright yellow. My favorite color is blue (ocean) but people tell me pink and red is one of the nicest colors on me (I think I have pink undertones so it highlights that or whatever *insert something fashionable sounding here*)

Weekend was good, relaxing. I had real bad sunday scaries but monday was alright. I had two of my coworkers talk me off the metaphorical ledge of something that was really bothering me and they assured me it would work itself out (something I also convinced myself of but I needed a sounding board ya know?)

I hope your week gets better and they get rid of pollen (not really, but you know what I mean!

LOVE YOU!

xoxo

#💜

[diaryofanormalkid]

Lol my black history month’s going great 👌🏿😁

I just remembered some weird convo I had at work with a client. He goes “I’m so sorry if this is a stupid question—” pause, because I already know once you say that, it’s going to be stupid.

“—but, why are your knuckles so much darker than your hands?” 🤦🏿‍♀️ he REALLY got me there. If the emoji didn’t give it away, well by now I should let you know I’m a dark-skinned black girl.

So imagine my immediate embarrassment, discomfort and overall awkward reaction to this indeed stupid question. I actually looked down at my hand to see what he was talking about.

I promise you I stared at my hand for 10 seconds before collecting my answer because I didn’t even notice until he said that. I go, “you know what, I don’t know…” bc HOW THE HECK DO YOU ASK THAT?

I didn’t create myself sir?!! How am I supposed to conclude how my knuckles are darker than my hands. Then I wondered… isn’t everybody’s’? I continue with “I didn’t notice until you said that.”

Lol I was so shook that he had the audacity to ask that bc he wasn’t even a little bit worried that he could somewhat offend me, get called out, cancelled, looked at funny… nothing.

He had all the support he needed to ask that peacefully without getting hate bc everyone around him… looks like him. Not me. There’s only one other POC where I work, and he’s not black.

It was definitely a new low from the all sorts of questions I’ve been asked so far. As for black history month, the other POC and I haven’t had any mention of it at all this month.

I hardly think they care to consider any acknowledgement of the month at all. I wouldn’t be surprised. Perhaps I’ll hear a mention of it later in the month. However, it’s already halfway over.

I guess I’ll also point out that technically, more like literally, the other POC is African. His nationality is Moroccan. But I still think he’s considered Arab since that’s North Africa.

Tbh idk enough about him to know how he identifies. Plus he looks entirely Arabic to me, so I wouldn’t put it past him. Nonetheless, I sometimes feel like ppl test my patience too often.

It’s sometimes isolating having no confidant who gets what I experience or I can look to or talk with at times so they can understand my feelings. I don’t relate to a lot of the ppl I work with.

And that’s okay. For many reasons, I never would anyways. A lot of them are in different life stages than I am, or speak multiple languages, or own very nice things and have a family etc.

Do different things outside of work, believe different religions, drink, smoke weed, etc. so it’s hard to find a common ground with anyone, except for really simple things like food/clothes.

It pains me sometimes to be on such surface level convos when I’ve been here long enough to be past those things. It just feels like I’ll never get to a point where I’m comfortable with the full group.

And I have my days where it’s better, but I just hate being in the moment when i feel like I’m on the outside looking in. I’m not included and they don’t even try to relate to me or make convo.

You know when they walk past you just to start a convo with someone to the left or right of me. Or they speak in their language and forget i can’t comprehend or contribute.

Or when they always seem to not mention if they make outside plans with each other but leave me out bc we don’t have rapport like that. I tell myself I’m fine with it since I’m introverted anyways.

In a lot of ways, I genuinely don’t mind not being invited out because at least I don’t have to decline with a lame excuse and can remain in the comfort of my own home with my own company.

I can catch up on sleep, or shows, cook, or do laundry, or eat in silence. Do whatever I want. And not have to feel like I’m wasting my time by forcing myself to go somewhere “to socialize.”

I don’t have to be uncomfortable trying to fit in or act engaged in the conversation, or pretend like I can relate to anything they just said or even understand when they switch languages.

I can be myself and not have to mask like I do at work when I fake laugh at a really unfunny joke, or act super extroverted and social just to not seem like a party pooper or Debby downer.

Or force my smile in front of clients and coworkers so they don’t realize I’m having a really off day. I can wear my relaxing clothes, eat as many snacks as I want, sing as loud as I feel.

And sleep as late as I want. Or as early. But there’s always that feeling like I’m missing out on so much. The fomo. Just wanting to be invited. Included. Thought about. Considered. Something.

It’s so unfulfilling working at a place where you get little to no joy out of it bc not even the ppl can give you some peace of mind that at least if the job sucks, you have someone.

FYI. I don’t smoke.

#work #job