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jeonride · 9 months

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even on my last birthday

SUMMARY; in which, you decided to have a tattoo on your shoulder as his birthday gift. and wonwoo loved it as much as he wanted to grow old with you.

FEATURING; wonwoo x afab!reader

GENRE; fluff, established relationship, office romance au, manager!wonwoo x secretary afab!reader, non-idol au, Seokmin mentioned as a cameo, smut (MINORS DNI)

WARNINGS; dacryphilia, dollification, dry-humping, finger-sucking, choking, praises, use of pet names, mentions of food & eating, mentions of cheating, mentions of tattoos, and being tattoed.

WORD COUNT; 5 K

NOTES FROM KALA; i know his birthday has passed A MONTH ago but well- i have this on my draft for too long so i decided to post this as my 800 folls celebration! (and also, this was my first fic ever). enjoy! <33

inspired by song; last birthday by valley

jeonride's masterlist / join the taglist here !

The 17th of July.

The man named Jeon Wonwoo furrowed his eyebrows when he saw the date on his calendar. Today was his birthday, but unfortunately, he forgot about it. Eventually, that was the reason why his fingers keep flipping through the pages of his agenda book.

"Meeting? Dinner with colleagues?" he murmured. But it was already 07.00 pm and all employees in the office already went home. Remaining himself in his personal workspace, Seokmin- the head of the division that has to work overtime because of the additional work from him, and the janitor who was still passing by.

Soon, the sound of three knocks on his workspace door filled Wonwoo's hearing. He looked up while adjusting his glasses. Said, "Come in." in a voice too low, but still loud to be heard. After that his head was back down, still looking for what was on the agenda on the 17th of July, not realizing who entered his room.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.”

The soft singing of 'happy birthday' filled his ears. Wonwoo clearly knew who it was. His face lit up as he looked at you - his fiancé, looking gorgeous, wearing a black backless dress while holding a chocolate-flavored birthday cake, Wonwoo's favorite since childhood.

Wonwoo reflexively gasped, his expression one of surprise. He couldn't believe that July 17th was his birthday. The number 27 candles glowed on the cake's surface.

You walked closer to him, and Wonwoo took the initiative to get up from his chair, heading towards you. Your smile was fixed, looking so sweet that Wonwoo felt that your smile alone can relieve his burden for the whole day.

“Happy Birthday, Schatzi.” With that, you reached the end of the song. Wonwoo smiled at the petname, schatzi. It was from your favorite novel that you read to him. Where the main character called her lover schatzi.

You watched how Wonwoo closed his eyes immediately, as he clasped his hands together. His mouth chanted wishes, containing all the good things in the world for him, his family, and especially you. Then he opened his eyes again, with his cheeks puffed up with air- blowing out the number 27 candles. You cheered, happy and assuring whatever Wonwoo wished for.

Your face moved closer to him, planting a soft, affectionate kiss on his pink lips. “I wish you health, wealth, and a happy life with me as your wife.” You whispered between the kiss, his minty breath was fanning your lips.

Then slowly his lips formed a smile before he let out a small laugh at your words just now. His two sturdy hands pulled your waist to get closer. “Thank you, love.” He replied. “I even forgot my birthday. Glad you came to celebrate it.”

He caressed your cheek, “You’re the one who always remembers anything about me.”

You rolled your eyes at his words, chuckling. “So stop being careless with everything around you.”

"Can’t help it, I know what’s my priority."

“So our wedding isn’t on your priority list?”

Wonwoo's gaze at you became softened. his forefinger moved to ruffle your hair, tucking the strands behind your ear adorned with a glittering earring. ”You know that’s not how it works, darling.” He pinched your cheek. “I care for you. I care for us.”

“Then come with me. I'm tired of taking care of everything by myself. It's also tiring to deal with people who keep asking where is the groom? Why he isn’t with you?”

Your words made Wonwoo laugh. "I'm sorry, I'm really busy these days. I'm focusing on getting promoted so that our family in the future can live comfortably."

You nodded, understood about it. You knew you couldn’t complain when the only thing he wanted was your happiness and the comfort of the two of you when you finally get married and live with him. Jeon Wonwoo had always been mature, all the problems regarding the future of the two of you had been planned very well. You were lucky because you managed to become a woman who won his heart, since two years ago.

You put Wonwoo's birthday cake on his desk and smiled as you saw the sign that read 'Mr. Wonwoo Jeon, Manager' prominently displayed in front of his desk.

“When will you be promoted to CEO?”

Wonwoo shook his head, “I don't know yet. Hopefully, it will be sooner. Wish me luck, okay?"

You nodded softly, “But I want to be your secretary.”

"Your father will be angry if I take his secretary." Wonwoo's mischievous expression appeared. He knew you craved to be his secretary so badly. Well, who didn’t? You bet every woman in the office wanted just the same, to be working in front of his desk and take a glance at his face while he was busy working and typing. What a sight to see in the middle of a tiring day in the office.

“Well, I’m sure he will understand if you’re the one who takes me away from him. You knew he was cheating with his secretary.” You sighed. Still hurt a little every time you remember about it. “I don’t want that kind of thing to happen again in my life.”

Wonwoo's gaze seemed to be as sympathetic, also he felt bad for making you feel sad by telling him about the problem that happened in your family in the past.

“Love, I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s fine. They’re all fine, now. As you can see.”

Wonwoo reached out to hold your hand and embodied kisses to the knuckles of your fingers before kissing the engagement ring.

“I want to spend my days with you.”

You chuckled immediately at his sudden confession. “What? It’s rare for you to say that kind of stuff.” And Wonwoo could feel his cheeks heat up.

“I mean- you said you want to be my secretary and I’ll happily have you as my secretary through my whole career.” He seemed a little shy about it. You couldn’t help but smile, then run your fingers to stroke his hair that was still gelled. He changed the topic to, “Let’s eat the cake.” to divert his shyness.

Okay. You agreed, didn’t want to tease him because you knew, things would turn upside down very quickly. You will feel so small in his presence as he reciprocated your teasing with intimidating domination. And nonetheless, your stomach felt hungry because you haven't had dinner yet either. The chocolate cake you gave looked really good but of course, you felt bad to eat the cake. It should be Wonwoo who takes it first.

“Wait, the knife’s in my bag.” You turned around, heading for the chair in front of Wonwoo’s desk where you had carelessly placed your sling bag because you felt uncomfortable wearing it. That's when, Wonwoo got full access to stare at your bare back, where your right shoulder was reddish in color and a new tattoo was clearly imprinted there. His lips formed a smile in a second. He liked what he saw. Then his strong hands pulled your waist, successfully making your body land in his lap.

Wonwoo noticed you were surprised, and you wanted to protest because you intended to get the knife in the bag. But Wonwoo just couldn't resist his curiosity about your new tattoo. He blew gently on the surface of your shoulder, making you feel goosebumps. Wonwoo grinned as he noticed your body started to stiffen just from his warm breath.

“What’s this?” his voice lowered, as his fore finger pointed at your shoulder which was adorned with a tattoo of water lily, his birth flower. ”Water lily?”

Your breath hitched at his touch. “Yes, water lily. Your birth flower."

“I know, doll.” He chuckled. "It's just..." A second after he was approaching to your bare shoulder again, he returned to blowing his warm breath while giving a few kisses at your new tattoo, then licking it in the most sensual way. "Love it. Fucking in love with this beautiful water lily tattooed on your skin."

Your smile got wider as he praised you. You felt an explosion of happiness in your chest because it took a lot of effort to have a tattoo. But because Wonwoo had one, you also got the feeling to have a tattoo as his birthday gift, thinking he would like it and glad he did.

"Is this my birthday gift?" he asked lowly, right into your ear. You could sense that he was smiling.

You nodded softly, as you were his good girl. "Yes, all for you."

"Oh, doll." he cooed. He kissed your tattoo once again, but this time with his mouth opened, spreading wet kisses across your bare shoulder. You could feel how his saliva made the surface wet. You started to tense up at the pet name, doll.

And the way he gave you open-mouthed kisses, it tickled you. But also sent shivers down your spine. You squirmed under the slightest touch of his lips.

"My doll, being so pretty for me."

You whimpered, those words that slipped away from a-very-fucking-handsome-man-named-Jeon-Wonwoo made your cunt dripping with your own arousal. He knew for sure his words would do something to your body. His lips formed a light grin.

Your breath caught again when Wonwoo landed his big hands on your thighs. his movements were slow, but sure and made you shiver. Wonwoo lifted your black dress slowly. From your knees, then up to your upper thighs. Exposing your skin that felt so soft under the touch of his cold hands. He did all that while whispering, "My precious doll, all for me."

"Wonwoo-" you released a whimper, moving uncomfortably as you feel Wonwoo's hardening cock on your ass.

You started to stutter, "I'm starving. You know, not because I want to eat you- but because the cake I bought for you looks so delicious."

Wonwoo who heard your words laughed. Instantly his lustful urges were restrained for a moment, because then he could actually hear your stomach rumbling, demanding to be filled.

The man embraced your body, manhandling, also flexing how strong his arms were. he turned your body position to face him. He wanted to see the sparkle in your eyes that looked exactly like a doll.

Oh, you were really such a doll in his eyes. With lips that looked so soft and your rosy cheeks because you were embarrassed by feeling hungry at this kind of moment.

"My poor babydoll." he cooed. "How long have you been hungry?"

"Please-" you unconsciously begged. Didn't know where you got the idea. Making Wonwoo's left eyebrow raised in curiosity, "Please what, doll? I don't understand."

"I-" you pointed at the chocolate cake you brought earlier, untouched. "Please let me eat the cake first, i know it's yours i bought it for you but can you please let me eat it?"

Wonwoo's chest warmed up, to him his fiancée's behavior now was so cute and adorable. It made him admire your face more than in the past days.

"So polite." he praised. "I've really taught you to beg well."

Your cheeks heated up, and you decided to look away but Wonwoo's forefinger immediately grabbed your chin, forcing you to look back at him. "Look at me. I said that you have to be confident in front of me."

You gulped. "Okay. Okay. Understood. I just feel kinda embarrassed.. you know."

"It's normal, baby. I'm fine with your stomach rumbling, it's cute tho." he laughed again. And before you hit his arm, he continued with, "Alright, alright. I'm going to feed you, don't you worry."

You nod enthusiastically as Wonwoo grabbed up your bag, took out a cake knife from inside, and started to cut the cake in pieces that you liked, not too thick and not too thin. He really remembered everything about you well, especially when it came to serving food.

Wonwoo smiled too when he saw your face so beamed. His heart melted every time you smiled, even though he never expressed it verbally. He expressed that he loved you through his actions, by covering you with his expensive black coat when it rained, clutching your waist tightly when the train was crowded with people, helping you with chores and cleaning the apartment, and also doing aftercare with care and tenderness. You were grateful that you were loved by a man like him.

You, on the other hand, were ready to open your mouth. Thinking Wonwoo was going to feed you. But as it turned out, he was stuffing pieces of cake into his own mouth, making you frown at the sight.

"Woo, i said i'm sta-"

And Wonwoo, interrupted you with a soft kiss. The chocolate cream on Wonwoo's lips felt on your senses, making you move to suck his lips harder and rougher, also demanding. Successfully making Wonwoo's stomach tingle, as if butterfly wings were fluttering in it until he chuckles in a low voice between the kiss.

Wonwoo thought you must be really starving by now, so starving that you've lost control of yourself. You were starving for food, also starving for Wonwoo's touch.

So Wonwoo didn't want to tease any further. He chose to open his mouth, and you followed along. Wonwoo's tongue placed a piece of cake on the surface of your tongue, so the piece of cake that was previously in his mouth moved into your mouth. That was Wonwoo's way, of feeding you. And you didn't mind.

Wonwoo moved away for a moment, giving you time to munch on his birthday cake.

"How is it?" Wonwoo asked as his thumb wiped away the chocolate cream stain at the corner of your lips.

"Sweet." you didn't reply much. You were busy chewing and marveling at the taste of the cake. So sweet and soft on the tongue, it's appetizing. You think you could even finish the whole cake by yourself.

"Still starving?" he asked.

"I amm. Please just keep going,"

"I don't understand. Clear instruction only, doll."

You sighed. He was such a tease. Loved to hear your filthy thoughts out loud. "Please feed me, with your mouth. Want to taste the chocolate cream from your lips."

Wonwoo seemed satisfied by your words. It was fun to hear you begged to him. Reminding him to who you belong- and it was always him. Also felt like a booster for Wonwoo. Your begs feed his ego and it sparked a fire inside his chest.

So he continued to feed you the chocolate cake from his mouth, you let out soft hums in approval every time you taste the sweet cream all over your tongue. He held the back of your neck, wanting to kiss you deeper while you were sucking his lip clean from the chocolate cake. Slowly, the 'feeding you his birthday cake' session became breathless, and Wonwoo didn't even give you time to munch the cake slice. He was more than ready to devour all of you, to be drunk in a hot kissing session while you were still trying to eat his cake properly.

"Woo-" you whined. "Can't keep up."

"That's okay, doll. Slowly."

And how could you slow the movement of your kiss when all he did was kiss you and moan into your mouth lustily when you accidentally gave friction to his boner? Even the way of his breathing started to be shaky. You knew he needed more of you.

He slowly placed his two fingers on your lower lip. Staring at your puffy lips that were glistening with saliva. His stare was getting darker as he watched how your chest breathing up and down heavily, how your cheeks turned all red, and the way you were staring back at him with doe eyes, he could feel his cock twitching down there.

"Suck," he commanded.

You did as he asked, put his two fingers in your mouth. Sucking his fingers and licking the fingertips teasingly. Wonwoo found himself couldn't breathe properly, he even swallowed hard his own saliva while managing to keep the eye-contact with you. The warmth of your mouth made him unfocused, and how you made his fingers wet with your saliva. Lowkey imagining his other body part to be sucked and licked by you like this.

"You're getting so much better at sucking my fingers, doll."

Your reply came out mumbled, but Wonwoo caught your words perfectly, all while he was tilting his head to read your mouth. "Getting better because of me?"

You nodded swiftly, as Wonwoo starts to move his two fingers inside your mouth, he slowly moved them back and forth, in and out. You focused on sucking his fingers without breaking eye contact with him, which makes the air in Wonwoo's personal workspace even hotter and more stifling. Wonwoo nimbly untied the tie around his neck, making him feel like he was suffocating. You wanted to help him untie the tie, but he shook his head lightly while smiling weakly. As if he were signaling, 'you don't have to do anything besides sucking my fingers like a good girl.'

Wonwoo also moved his waist, grinding against your clothed cunt. The low moan he released made the inside of your body burning. Wonwoo sped up his hand movements, eager to make you choke on just two of his fingers. There was always a sense of pride every time he managed to make you choke and cry. Oh, Wonwoo loved to see how your doe eyes flow crystal clear tears. He would happily kisses every drop of your tears or even, licks them.

Wonwoo noticed how your saliva was rolling down his knuckles, and it made your cheeks even redder just because a stare full of lust from his eyes. His fingers moved in and out even faster, impatient to see you choke. You yourself didn't realize what Wonwoo was trying to do. Until a few moments later, you choked because his fingers hit the tip of your throat. Your tears were immediately melting, running down your cheeks, smearing the mascara you're wearing.

"Oh, doll." he teased. "Did I hurt you?" he asked with such a fake innocence. Because in the end, he grinned triumphantly as your tears even began to fall down your chin. Wonwoo quickly kissed away each and every teardrop visible to his peripheral.

Wonwoo has already picked up the tissues on his desk when you finally realize what he was been trying to do. You felt a little annoyed, and punched him lightly on the shoulder, yet Wonwoo just laughed as he slowly wiped away your tears with the tissue, simultaneously cleaning the stains from your smudged mascara.

"I'm sorry, doll. But you look so pretty when you cry..." his voice that was already low, dropped another octave. Wonwoo's hands rubbed your sides this time, you could feel how cold his hands were. Wonwoo did have cold hands, which can always put you back in control of yourself, regardless of how hot your body was right now. He was even good at calming you down when anger got the best of you with the gentle strokes of his cold hands on your shoulder.

"Mean. So you like to see me cry, huh?" you acted as you were annoyed, while your hand sneakily making its way to the belt Wonwoo was wearing. The black leather belt that he always used to wear to office.

But Wonwoo of course could sense the gentle touch of your hand on his belt. "Ah, ah." he reprimanded. "I still have things to do, we can't do it right now, doll."

"You must be kidding me. You already worked 11 hours already, Woo! How come there are still a lot things to do?" you weren't angry toward him, though. You were just worried. Yet his facial expression changed when you rised your tone a little bit higher in front of him.

"Did you just yell at me, doll?" His grip on your waist tighten, more firm. As if he were expressing that he didn't like what you just did.

"I didn't, Woo. I was just worried about your health. I'm sorry,"

"You're worrying about me?"

"Of course! You always work like there's no tomorrow to finish your assignment."

He chuckled, "Sweet doll, worrying about me." then played with your hair softly. "If you said so, guess I'll take a few minutes' break from now on. Let's just do something, anything fun on your mind?"

Oh, it was the way of him asking anything fun on your mind? when his hand traveled up to your panties, toying with the waistband. He knew what he was doing, and yet his eyes gleamed like pure innocence even though his lips couldn't hold the urge to smirk. How could someone manage to look like that on the same time?

His face continued to move closer, then his pink lips kissed your jawline, all while his forefinger started to rub on your clit. You bit your lip, didn't want to release any whimper or soft moans but Wonwoo made it harder, his other free hand now gently squeezing your breast. Now his kisses going down, to the crook of your neck. Kissing, licking, and marking. He didn't care about your neck being full of hickeys. He planned to cover you with his expensive black coat on the way to the parking lot, though.

You were stammering and found it difficult to speak. "Wonwoo, stop—"

"And why do I have to stop?"

"Because you said you're busy! If you're just teasing me right now, then please, stop."

He shrugged. "Well, I am busy. But I didn't mean it until the moment I can't have fun with you."

And with that, your hand was going back again to his belt. Urging him to do the thing that you already had in mind for thirty minutes now. "Then open this,"

Wonwoo laughed, this time with his eyes beautifully closed. His hand then grabbed yours, gently removing it from his belt. "But I also said that I only take a break for a few minutes, doll. This won't do only in ten or twenty minutes, right?"

You surrendered, nodding limply. Wonwoo just smiled as he realized how disappointed you were that you won't be fucked anytime soon. "We can still have fun, doll. Don't be pouty like that," his finger played with the corner of your lips that were indeed, pouting.

"But I want to ride you..." You said in a half-whisper, still feeling the embarrassment in your chest to say it out loud.

Wonwoo had no problem with you speaking in a half-whisper whenever you were feeling shy. He took the opportunity to bring his face closer to your lips and to look closely at your blushing face. "Yeah? You want to ride me?"

You nodded shyly, fingers toying with the button of his shirt.

"Ride me, then." Wonwoo invited, giving permission. And your eyes widened at his words. Oh, this is going to be a dry-humping session, then. You were a bit uncertain about Wonwoo's decision this time. Because usually, he wouldn't get enough of just rubbing his hardening cock against your clothed cunt. He was a bit insatiable. You both had done a challenge where there was to be no intercourse during the movie-watching session together. It became a soft dry humping session, where Wonwoo whispered words of affirmation and validated you, how perfect you were for him. But still, eventually, he felt it was not enough and you end up having sex with him in the middle of the movie.

Wonwoo's hands were ready to hold both sides of your waist, and then he moved your waist back and forth, urging you to ride him. All while when he was spreading his legs so that the hardening cock on his pants can be felt on your clit which is still wrapped in panties. "Now ride me, doll."

You got closer to Wonwoo's body, and he kissed your forehead softly. Embracing your body with his warmth, with all his love that overflows for you. You wrapped your hands around Wonwoo's neck and started rubbing your clit against his cock. He felt so hard, and you could feel the way his cock rubbed against your cunt perfectly even though you both still had pants on. You let out sighs and moans, and Wonwoo responded by gently stroking your bare back, then saying, "I got you, doll. I got you."

"Wonwoo-" Your breath got caught in your throat. "Feels so good-"

Wonwoo mumbled in reply, his hand wiping at the trail of sweat that was on your forehead. "Want me to help you?"

Then he helped you by pounding his hips hard, sending tingling sensations all over your body through the hard friction from his erection. Wonwoo watched how your mouth opened, your eyes shut, and your rosy lips let out a sigh of the pleasure Wonwoo gave you.

The air around you felt hotter and you felt dizzy from the stimulant Wonwoo was giving you between your legs. Your hips were also constantly moving, back and forth, seeking more friction from Wonwoo's boner. And that action earned a low grunt from Wonwoo, he complimented how good you were at making him feel like he was up in the clouds. "Just like that, doll. Oh, fuck."

Wonwoo's right hand pinched your hardened nipple, because your breasts kept bouncing in front of his eyes, activating the desire inside his mind to grab your breasts and squeeze them roughly until a high-pitched moan was released from your pretty mouth. "Ah, Wonwoo!" You were no longer care to hold back your moans even though you know, your voice might be heard from outside of his personal workspace.

Wonwoo didn't think about that either, focusing on pursuing his pleasure. And when Wonwoo's long fingers played with your nipples, twisting, and then pinching them, you started to cry. The stimulants that he gave to you were too much. Tears formed in both of your eyes, like the clear lakes Wonwoo would dive into.

You always looked so enthralling to him, even when you were crying. Oh, he was even proud when the pleasure he brought to your body could make you cry and call his name as if Wonwoo's name was the only thing you knew because you don't get exhausted of saying it over and over between your moans and whimpers. As if his name was a spell that could make Wonwoo do more to satisfy you.

Wonwoo knew you were close, from the way your chest rose then fell, and the way your breathing got heavier. Your moans sounded louder and 'noisier' when you felt your orgasm was coming, Wonwoo already knew that attitude of yours. His eyes stared at your face with lust. Your expression that was full of pleasure made his cock twitch in his office pants which felt tighter now.

"Are you close, doll? I'm-" Wonwoo couldn't finish his sentence because you hid your face in the crook of his neck, biting the most sensitive area of Jeon Wonwoo which of course no one else knew but you. Wonwoo's grip on your waist tightened, while your own hands pulled Wonwoo's hair, messing with his hair and he didn't mind that at all.

"Doll, fuck-" his breath hitched as you were sucking on the sensitive area of his neck. "My babydoll, I want you to always be mine," he whispered between his heavy breaths, sending butterflies to your stomach as you felt the familiar knot on your abdomen.

"I'm yours, Wonwoo. Always yours to take," you replied, and your tone became softer. Then you looked up at him, only to stare at his face, and found the explosion of affection for you from his dark brown eyes.

He cradled your cheek, and you leaned in for his touch while chasing your orgasm. "Feel like you're about to cum, doll?"

You whined and gave him a nod as an answer while bouncing on his erection even harder and faster. He groaned, "You like this, aren't you? I can tell you're so close, doll."

Wonwoo was right. Soon, your orgasm hit so hard, that was even dripping out to your inner thighs. Your panties were all soaked, and Wonwoo's office pants also got wet because of your orgasm. Wonwoo grunted at the sight of it, and he came right after you with his mouth hung open, calling your name in the deepest tone of his voice that made you shiver.

You were trying to calm yourself down, and so did Wonwoo. His way of breathing slowly got calmer when you gave some soft squeezes on his shoulder. He looked down at you, smiling, with his heart bursting out of love for you. He kissed your forehead, while gently stroking your hair. "Thank you, y/n."

You flashed a smile at him. "You are welcome and once again, happy birthday my love."

His face beamed at your words. He was so happy to have his 27th birthday spent with you. And he was hoping, deep down in his heart, you would always be there, be the one who always remember his birthday and will not get bored to spare him some of your time just to be with him on his birthday night. He would love to always age up with you beside him, to always have you sing him 'Happy Birthday to you with your angelic voice.

He would love to grow old with you.

"I'd love to turn one year older with you in my arms, love. Please always be by my side, even on my last birthday."

#kala : writes #wonwoo seventeen #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #seventeen wonwoo #wonwoo smut #wonwoo fluff #seventeen smut #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen fanfic #seventeen #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo fic

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hockeyshmockey · 7 months

Text

Little White Chapel - Daniel Ricciardo

summary: in which Daniel does the damn thing. Daniel Ricciardo x reader

warnings: none! Does include my OC from familial ties briefly :)

January 2023

location monaco

liked by gerrihaliwell, maxverstapppen and 1,230,289 others

ynusername 5 years after we met in the city we both called home, he asked me to be his forever 🤭

view comments

maxverstappen called this about 5 years ago

maxverstappen in all seriousness im happy for you both!

user SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

landonorris mom and dad officially 🫶🏻

chloestroll this will be the party of the century

Isaricciardo no bc I’m so excited you’re finally going to be my sister

march 2023

twitter

f1gridgoss

photo posted on yn’s story of her and Daniel in Lake Como… wedding venue touring perhaps??

honeybadger4l

No bc an Italian wedding is so them fr

july 2023

liked by maxverstappen, redbullracing, and 969,482 others

tagged ynbestfriend, ynsister, chloestroll, isaricciardo, michellericciardo

ynusername last fling before the bling

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daniellericciardo that’s me done partying for 20 years

user no bc I know this was wild

chloestroll I’m not sure how I’m still standing

scottyjames it’s bc I’m holding you up

maxverstappen please don’t ever take my wife out again

November 2023

liked by littlewhitechapel, carmenmundt and 1,528,294 others

Location Las Vegas

Tagged danielricciardo

yourusername we did the damn thing

view 295,280 comments

user JQNDOSJW

maxverstappen so happy for you guys

maxverstappen also no I didn’t know this was happening when I mentioned Daniel during grill the grid

liked by christianhorner, lewishamilton and 1,928,389 others

tagged yourusername

danielricciardo fea 💒

view 528,290 comments

landonorris so happy you chose me as your best man🥰

maxverstappen yeah right

scottyjames you’re both delusional

yourusername it was actually @ christianhorner , soz

Sebastianvettel so happy for your Daniel, I know you’ll both be very happy!

user I’m crying almost the whole grid was there😭

user and most of the team principles 😭😭

user Daniel married and back racing with a potential future with RBR? He really said fuck 2022

I’ve had this idea in the drafts for months this is so fun

#f1 #formula one imagine #formula one #f1 imagine #f1 driver #f1 driver imagine #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 driver #imagine #daniel ricciardo instagram #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo #formula one driver imagine #f1 driver imagines #f1 drivers imagine #f1 drivers #daniel ricciardo x reader

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daycourtofficial · 4 months

Text

Falling in Love on the Fourth Floor - Part 7

Summary: Out of an act of desperation, you move in with a guy you kind of know who happens to have a really hot brother who lives next door.

Author’s note: eeeek I’ve had parts of this one in the drafts for AGES the middle section has been drafted for at least a month I swear and I’ve been sitting on it like 🧍‍♀️ waiting to share it. I think this is my favorite part so far (but not my fav overall 🥰)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Masterlist)

Your day had been shit. Ever since that godsawful date Mor ambushed you with last night, you couldn’t stop yourself from wondering about Azriel and Nesta’s date. What they were doing, how things were going, if she was making him laugh.

Hell, you couldn’t stop thinking about their date while on your own date. The guy was good looking, and he wasn’t terrible, but there was nothing there between you two.

He also was very into cryptocurrency, a topic that quickly took over the conversation at dinner. A topic you did not encourage him to continue on. He somehow didn’t get that memo, insisting on walking you up towards the doors of your building when he was dropping you off, where you had made a lame excuse about going to bed early before ducking into your building.

You had followed the same path Azriel took only moments ago, continuing on to your own apartment. You open the door, finding a note on the fridge in Cassian’s messy scrawl.

Have fun.

He drew a winky face, and then several crude drawings on the post-it. The drawings made you groan, Cassian’s enthusiasm for your date further solidifying your nonexistent chance with his brother.

Of course Cassian would have Mor set you up after he found out about your little crush on his brother. You felt so stupid when you saw Nesta on their couch earlier today. You hardly spoke to Rhysand on the way to lab, your thoughts too flooded with how terribly you had read the whole situation.

Cassian probably told Mor all about your dumb crush and got her to fix you up tonight. Maybe Azriel had even mentioned your text to Cassian, asking him what to do about the annoying roommate who developed a crush on his brother.

Your chest hurts, but it was just a silly crush. You’ll get over it.

Eventually.

Azriel stood in the elevator, waiting for the doors to close as he looked at his phone, looking at the last message you had sent him Friday morning.

Wanna grab lunch tomorrow?

He hadn’t answered, his phone having been on silent all day to focus on finishing his work for the next week and the reception in the library not allowing messages to come through. He hadn’t seen the message until he woke up this morning, the timestamp seeming cruel.

Now he stares at it and wants to throw his phone. Missed opportunities, he supposes. But what would this lunch have looked like since you’re dating that dickhead from last night? Would you have had to reject him outright?

He can see your face contort in a smile as you tell him, “oh no, Az, I’m seeing someone.” Then you’d probably laugh about it with the dickhead.

He runs his hands down his face when he hears someone yelling, “hold the elevator please!” He juts out an arm on instinct, not noticing who it is. He sees you slip inside, the doors bumping against his arm, bringing him back to reality as he looks down at you.

Fuck.

A light scent of oranges fills the elevator, and he notes it’s likely from your shampoo. He pulls his arm from the door, allowing them to close, locking the two of you in the metal box.

You look up at him, eyes going wide, cheeks heating in embarrassment at the close proximity. You’re standing right in front of him, and you can smell his cologne, a scent of night-chilled air and cedar filling your nose. You take deep breaths, telling yourself that it’s okay, it was just a little crush.

On a very pretty, smart, and very kind guy.

Who smelled incredible.

You look down at your feet, unsure how to speak to him now that you knew he was dating Nesta. And not wanting to further embarrass yourself by flirting with him.

Gods, this was how you were going to die, you think, shuffling to lean against the rail. Azriel’s voice puts a halt to the spiraling of your thoughts.

“Nice date last night?” Azriel asks, trying not to let whatever he’s feeling bubble up. Your eyebrows shoot up, unaware of Azriel even knowing about your date.

Of course he knows, you think, Cassian probably told him he’d handle it.

“He spent the while night telling me about stocks and crypto and how he wants to be in Forbes 30 under 30,” you scoffed, “so no, it was not nice.”

The elevator starts moving, and his eyebrows shoot up. “So that wasn’t your boyfriend?”

You scoff, “hell no. Mor ambushed me yesterday. She told me to get dressed up and we’d go out and have a fun girl’s night, but when I showed up she texted me that she set me up instead.

“The worst part is Mor was so confident that she told Cassian about it, so he had stayed at her place last night to give me ‘privacy’. He even left crude drawings around the apartment to help the ‘atmosphere’.”

Azriel laughs as the elevator dings for the third floor. He feels his chest lighten, knowing you definitely weren’t seeing anyone. “Mor’s always been ambitious, hasn’t she?”

You laugh. “Maybe it was just a ploy for her to have sex with Cassian.”

You say it, but you know it’s not true. The real truth was they wanted to put you out there, help you get over the beautiful man standing next to you. They knew you didn’t have a shot, especially compared to Nesta. You’re brought back to reality, and decide to hurt yourself further.

“How was your date with Nesta?” You ground out, after a pause in your conversation. You needed to know so you can completely cut off your feelings for him. You needed him to pierce you with the final dagger.

His eyebrows arch up, and he looks at your expression.

Were you upset? You won’t meet his gaze, and you’re clenching your fists. Were you - jealous?

His mouth curls up at the thought, “uh it wasn’t a date. Nesta and I study together every Thursday night. We take a lot of the same classes. We did it last night instead because she was busy on Thursday.”

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, “so you’re not dating Nesta?”

He laughs, “absolutely not. No that’s an avenue I’d never go down. But there is some-“

His words die as you hear a screeching sound and the elevator stops completely, leaving you two stranded somewhere between the first and second floors.

“No - no, no, no.”

You start freaking out - elevators always gave you a bit of concern, their small dimensions making you feel cramped. You hit the button to open the door, jamming it with your finger. Realizing that it was fruitless, You pull out your phone only to remember that the elevator always has no service.

“Fuck,” you mumble, and your breaths start coming faster and faster, and you’re trying to remember your calming techniques, when you feel cold hands gently grab your cheeks.

“Hey, look at me.”

You look up, finding hazel eyes looking back at you. They’re etched with concern, not a trace of mockery in them.

“We’re okay. Breathe with me, can you do that?”

He grabs one of your hands, placing it on his chest so you can feel his breaths as they come in and out. Your eyes stay trained on his, not wanting to look away, wanting to get lost in the gold flecks you find there.

You start following the rhythm of his breaths, but he keeps talking to you in a soothing tone. You’re too focused on breathing to register what he’s saying, but you do register the soothing tone he’s speaking to you in. You could get lost in his voice, its deep timbre a melody in your ears.

Eventually you come back down enough to focus on what he’s saying and he’s telling you about his night - everything he did yesterday.

“Rhys texted me to get some trash bags on my way in, which is where I was coming from when I pulled up and found you with crypto douche.”

You smile, your first real reaction to his words since the elevator stopped.

“There she is,” he says, his finger tapping your cheek, “wanna tell me more about crypto douche?”

“He wants to be a landlord.”

Azriel snorts, “of course he does.”

“I didn’t even want to go on this date,” your eyes stay locked with his, the golden flecks calming you down. “But Mor has been begging me to go out with this guy for ages, and then she finally decided to ambush me by forcing it on me.”

“You know you can tell Mor “no”. It’s a complete sentence.”

“I know,” you sigh, “but she loves playing matchmaker, even though she’s awful at it. Usually once every other month I let her set me up, but she was just throwing a tantrum I wouldn’t let her set me up this time once I figured out the rouse.”

He doesn’t let himself linger on the fact that you haven’t let her set you up since meeting him. Coincidence, maybe. “Have any of them been successful?”

You blow out a breath, “uh, no. Usually I stay for an hour then leave. None of them have ever gotten a second date.” You pause, thinking. “In the words of the great philosopher of our time, “I’m a pathological people pleaser,” you chuckle.

“And who said that?”

“…. Taylor Swift.”

He looks at you, a chuckle on his breath, such tenderness in his gaze it shocks you a bit. “You should stand up for yourself more.”

“I’m… not really sure how. It’s kind of new to me.”

You look at your feet, but he taps your chin so you’ll look at him again. “I stood up to my parents, and it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done.”

You had tiptoed around the topic since your admission to Cassian the day you moved in, the wound still too raw to discuss with anyone other than Feyre. Mor knew some of the details, but not the whole story. You’re sure Rhys and Az knew that something happened with your parents, but you never let them know too much about it.

They didn’t know that your parents had told you that you became everything they had tried to avoid. That, despite everything they did for you, you didn’t turn out right.

You hadn’t told Mor because you knew she would have burnt down their house with them in it.

“It was scary, moving here with a guy I hardly knew.” His grip on you tightens slightly, and he’s hanging onto every word you say.

“But I don’t regret it. Not even when Cassian wakes me up at 6 AM with his singing.”

He chuckles, and he stills as you look into his eyes, your voice clear and strong.

“I don’t… I don’t regret any of it. I don’t regret meeting you.”

His hands are still cupped on your face, his face mere inches from your own. Your confession hangs in the air as you two look at each other, and he leans closer, pressing his forehead to yours.

Your breathing hitches, but not because you’re stuck.

He opens his mouth to reply, but the elevator comes back to life, moving downwards again. It startles both of you into jumping away from each other, and you clear your throat.

“Where are- where are you going?” You ask, gesturing towards his helmet.

“Oh, uh Cassian forgot his lunch and doesn’t have time to grab anything between clients. I was going to bring him something.”

The air is lighter between you two, and Azriel feels like he can breathe you in again. The fog of confusion has lifted between you two, leaving you to be seen clearly by him.

“Do you want to get lunch?”

He echos your previous text message to him, and you nod.

“Yeah I’d love that.”

You stroll through the lobby, putting as much distance between the falter elevator and yourselves. Once you make it to the parking lot, Azriel places his spare helmet on your head, tapping the top of it lightly affectionately.

You zip your jacket up as Azriel gets on the bike first, his thighs straddling the seat. He holds the bike steady, allowing you to place your hands on his shoulders for balance, letting go of your fears as you swing your leg around to straddle the bike behind him. Your body leans against his, wrapping around him, holding onto him.

You place your head on his back, your fingers clutching onto his jacket. It feels new, electricity crackling through every inch of you that is in contact with him, despite the layers and helmets that separate you.

He chuckles at the gasp you let out when you two start moving, how your hands hold onto his jacket a little tighter than before.

He pulls a hand away to place it gently on one of the hands you have clutched to his jacket, squeezing three times before moving his hand back.

#acotar fanfiction #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel x you #azriel fanfic #azriel fluff #acotar writing #azriel x y/n

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xenizaation · 1 year

Text

permanent

pairing: fem! reader x choi san (ft kim hongjoong)

genre: angst, friends to lovers, smut

general warnings: depictions of a depressive state, mourning of partner, self-blame and slight ptsd

sexual warnings: dirty talk, pet names, manual stimulation, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie,

word count: 12.6k

summary: they say moving on is hard. you find that it's even harder when in the process of it, you have to accept your feelings for your friend as well.

less important a/n: ok so this was supposed to be like 5k long 🙃🙃...chile, anyways. uhm, this came from me bottling my emotions up for the last 5 months and I just wanted to let some of my suffering out in some kind of way. even if it is far from what I feel (I feel the need to specify that the events related below aren't inspired from my life, happily so). read at your own discretion, for I have tried my best to make you feel horny and miserable at the same time 🥰🥰🥰 stay safe xoxo

a/n from long later: hi i wrote this about a year ago and i found it in my drafts and hey why wouldn't i post it after not posting something in ages? haha. enjoy! altough it's probably rlly bad and full of mistakes hihi, i ain't reading this again to correct it. i love you muah

______________________________________________________

The cold air felt like needles poking at your bare skin. You ran as fast as you could, barefoot in the woods, feeling every little scratch that was tearing open the skin of your soles and staining it with fresh blood. Your lungs were holding hostage a fire as you were inhaling the cold night air, and the sweat you felt dribbling down your face and back was only of help to make you feel even colder. You looked behind, once, twice, and then a third time too, slowly reducing your pace until it came to a halt.

"What am I running away from?" you ask yourself looking around. There was nothing, no one after you. So why were you running for your life? Your heart starts to beat faster as you hear screams coming from deep within the trees. But you don't run. You can't run anymore. You just fall to the ground, embracing your knees to your chest.

"Me!"

You don't turn around. That voice is way too familiar to make you turn around. Your mouth hangs open as you try to scream but no sound comes out as your muffled moans remain drowned in the deepest point if your throat.

You gasp for air as you wake up shaking your head relentlessly, in order to try to snap yourself back to the reality you're in- so your heart would stop beating so damn fast. You groan as you look over at the watch on your nightstand and see it spell 3:37 AM. You grab your phone from next to it and shut your eyes closed at the sudden brightness the screen displays. You manage to decrease it and open your contacts.

"Still awake?" you ask, and you know you shouldn't. He always offers you more than you can give back, more than you deserve. But you can't help yourself. You cannot deny yourself the little peace you still have in your life.

"Yeah, wassup?"

"Can you call?" you hit send and it's a matter of seconds between him receiving the message, him reading the message and then his name popping up on your screen. You answer.

"Again?" San questions from the other end of the phone. You only hum in affirmation. He sighs softly as you lay down on your side, phone trapped between your ear and the pillow. You hear the clicking of the keyboard and mouse clearly, he must be working late again. And yet he always answers. More than many people you've met did for you.

"Tell me a story." you ask once again. For the...well you've lost count.

"You know, one day I'm going to be out of stories," he answers and lets out a chuckle. Bathing in your silence, he takes his time to think about what he could tell you. As he begins, you close your eyes and imagine whatever he is helping you picture inside your head. Be it the times when he was a little kid and used to walk with his grandparents down the side of a river, or the times he was a teen and was always struggling to get out of trouble, San always gave you a vast amount of details that made you worship his each and every story. And they always made you dream something pretty when you dozed out of consciousness with him still talking on the other end. This night was no exception, so when you wake up, you send him a text that expresses your gratitude as always.

"Listen, if you still want a contract renewal you need to publish something within next year," you look at your boss and feel every word he lays out weighing your body down like you're going to fall through the floor. "I get writer's block, I really do. And we gave you time. You took your time. But it's been almost two years now..." his words stop reaching your ears as you're reminded. One year, ten months and twelve days. And still counting. The count will never stop, you realize, as the event it started from cannot be reversed. You will always be stuck in a period of time since it happened.

"You're one of the biggest names here in our publishing house, Y/N. We don't want to lose you but at the same time we can't keep focusing on you if it will be to no avail." he is right. He is always right, your boss. Always had a strategic mindset, and that always helped both of you. Except now. Now he was asking for something you couldn't offer.

"I'm sorry," you manage to blurt out. "I'm trying my best and I know it's not enough." if you had to be honest, hearing yourself say those words out loud made your heart break even more that it already was. Partly because it was true, and the rest? Because it sounded like you were asking for compassion, which you thought was pathetic. You never liked people looking at you the way you caught yourself looking at homeless individuals.

"I'm gonna get something out, ok? I promise you, just please have a little more faith in me. I need you to trust me to be able to do this."

You look up and make eye contact with him. Park Seonghwa was never one who showed compassion. But as his gaze traced over your fingers picking at your cuticles, the dryness of your lips and the shadows of your hollowed eyes, you felt something you grew too accustomed with in the last almost two years of your life.

Pity.

"Come on, let me take you out on Thursday." San pleaded as he was following in your steps down the hallway of the company you worked in. You didn't expect your little trip to talk to your boss would end with this. "You literally have nothing to lose." He completed and you stopped, facing him. You met his familiar and comforting eyes, which always reminded you of a cute fox, and his dimpled smile as he watched you keenly. It has been almost four years since he started working at the same company you did, but since the beginning, you two were more than just work colleagues. It was the type of connection where you would understand each other from simple looks into the other's eyes or where you could easily finish each other's sentences. You liked to consider him your platonic soulmate but you knew that if you hadn't had a relationship at the time you two met, you would've have surely gone out together and maybe made a good couple.

Well...now you didn't have a relationship anymore but you weren't exactly in the right headspace for one.

By now, you and all the rest of your workmates knew how big of a crush he had on you, but you never let it get out of control. You were feeling kind of guilty, to be honest. Knowing that in a way, you were using it to your advantage for your sleepless nights or the ones in which sleep was ruined by nightmares. But you were sure he was getting his benefits from it as well.

"Look, I want to but I really don't wanna be a bitch to you if I suddenly feel like shit." you reply, and in all honestly, it was true. Your mood hasn't been so stable lately, understandably so.

"Well, how about this: if you wake up in a good mood on Thursday and decide it's okay to hang out, you text me, and we do whatever you feel comfortable with. And if we do go out and do something together and you end up feeling like shit then you'll tell me and I'll get you home in the fastest way possible for a human being. How does it sound?"

Not bad. He is giving you every little piece of comfort that you knew you needed but you never asked for. So you agree. It wouldn't be the first time you hang out with San, sure, you never called them dates, because to you they were not. But you knew that for any outsider it looked exactly like that. And who is to blame? You two always worked hand in hand just so well. These no-pressure type of meet-ups you two had always made you feel comfortable so that was why you were considering it this time as well.

Days pass and you spend them stuck in your home, drowning in your bitter memories and your regrets. The taste of guilt never becomes sweet, you think. Not like how alcohol does when you drink more and more of the same kind. No. Guilt only grows in bitterness and in how it burns down your throat, feeling like it swirls all of your insides once it reaches your stomach. In a way, guilt feels like the long estranged sister of love. Both let their essence hover in your mind for however long they like.

As you rise from your bed to make some hot coffee you think of what day it is. Between the mix of reliving the moments long gone in the same apartment you still stand, and the countless intents to come up with something that you could present to your boss, you didn't know which one made you lose track of time more. You checked your phone for a bit of clarity. No new messages or notifications. At this point, everyone knew better than to bother you with their worries.

Thursday.

Well, seems like you had to cancel out on someone, you thought as you tried grabbing the coffee pot on the stove, but lost in your thoughts, you pay no attention to the handle and drop the pot on the kitchen tiled floor as soon as you feel the skin on your palm burn. You swore and quickly took a few steps back so the burning coffee on the ground wouldn't get to your bare feet. You shook your hand trying to get a cold breeze to the inflamed skin but it only made it feel worse. As you stopped to look at the damage you realized it wasn't all that bad, but it sure stung like a motherfucker. You ran your hand under the cold water of the sink and looked to your right. The brown liquid on the ground was expanding, getting in every little crevice in between the tiles.

****

Coffee was getting everywhere. It splashed on the kitchen counters, it was slowly getting under them too. You froze for a few seconds after your mug made contact with the floor, shattering to dozens of pieces.

"Well, that can't be a good sign." your lover said from behind you finishing with a low chuckle. You smiled, turning on your heels and taking in his form. You woke him up, well, the mug woke him up actually. Approaching you slowly, with a slight limp in his walk and his shoulders dropped all the way down, his hair was fluffed up and his skin a nice shade of pale with a few lines from the pillow on his left cheek. He always looked so angelic, you never could put it into words, how it made you feel, seeing him first thing in the morning. It was something that made your insides crazily stir up but made gave you a sense of tranquility, at the same time. That was how loving him usually was. Two opposite sides walking hand in hand. He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to him, softly pressing his lips against the crown of your head. You joined your hands behind his torso and inhaled deeply. Your heart skipped a beat as your lungs felt intoxicated with his smell.

"Today is the big day, huh?" his voice was still hoarse as he spoke, every word of his drumming in your ears. You nodded.

"I'm really nervous." you answered and let your forehead drop against his shoulder. He hugged you tighter with the hand around your waist and gently pat your head with the other.

"I know, angel. But it's gonna be alright, ok? Your friends will be there, your parents will be there and I will be there. You can lean on me." he said kissing your cheek. "You know that, don't you?" his face right in front of yours, you responded with nothing more than a slow kiss. A kiss that was rehearsed so many times before that your lips and tongues already knew what they had to do, how they had to move around each other. Sometimes it felt like a dream, how everything came so easy with Hongjoong. How you didn't have to think twice about what you wanted from him and with him. And for all you knew, and all he had shown you across the time spent together, he didn't do that either. Every morning next to him felt like the luckiest one, and every night with him ended just the same. And you knew that if you were to live a hundred more years alongside him, you still wouldn't get enough of his embraces, or kisses or just simply him. There was nothing in the world that could cure the insatiable love you felt for the man in front of you.

As he pulled away from the kiss he gestured with his head behind you. "Now how about I clean the mess you made, and you make coffee for both of us? We have a book launch to attend, after all." you laughed and kissed him again.

*****

As your breath got heavier and your eyes started to burn up you unconsciously took your phone from the kitchen counter.

"a picnic would be perfect" you text your friend. The desire to get out of the prison your house has become, growing bigger by the second.

"Tell me if this isn't an appropriate question," you heard the man next to you say, derailing your train of thought as you directed your attention towards him. The weather is hot today, it really was a good call, suggesting a picnic. You haven't been on one in a long while and you missed feeling of how the calm of the nature overwhelmed most of your senses. Also, you couldn't handle a complicated social situation on this day. So it was perfect right now, laying on a blanket, stranded in a flower freckled field with none other than San. You turn your head towards him. " What made you want to go out today?" he completed, not looking at you. He was laying on his back, with one arm under his head and his eyes closed, as if he feared the reaction you were going to have to his words. You didn't blame him for asking. In a similar situation where the roles would be reversed, you knew for sure you would ask too. After all, you and San were made of many of the same things. " Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you agreed, but it didn't seem like you would." he adds.

"Some days my house feels like a torture chamber." you say turning on your side and facing him, supporting your head on your angled arm. He was so still, you could barely even notice the way he slowly breathed in and out. It was as if the sun was painting his portrait and he was afraid to move, to not mess it up. Every ray that was falling on his exposed skin seemed to caress him the way a lover does.

"And some days it does its job." you completed after returning on your position on your back, mimicking his. "Today just didn't felt like one of the days I'd like to be tortured." you finished and felt his gaze on you right before you closed your eyes. If you thought he seemed worried, you made sure not to address it.

"One time when I was little, I was playing with a friend of mine," you smiled, realizing this is just the beginning of one of his captivating stories. "I don't remember how we got to that point, but he left me in a room and said he was gonna lock me there, and so he got out and he did." a bit darker than what he usually tells you, but still intriguing.

"At first I thought it was fun, that we would take turns locking each other in the room but he wasn't coming back. The room had only one window but it was locked when I tried to open it and get out. So I just waited. I think hours passed, it was getting dark and I was getting worried and hungry, thought I'll be stuck there forever, until it crossed my mind. I never even tried to open the door. Turns out it didn't even have a keyhole."

"San, if you're trying to put me to sleep with this one, just know it doesn't really work." you say smirking, still holding your eyes closed as you let the sun bathe your face.

"I'm not, Y/N. I'm trying to tell you that most of the times, the doors aren't locked. We just think that they are." he responds and you open your eyes to look into his. His look is full of compassion, and a bit of sadness that you choose to overlook. You finally understand what he means to tell you and you realize he is right. But even if a door isn't locked, you shouldn't open it unless you're ready to do so. You gently touch the back of his hand, and he is quick to caress your fingers with his thumb, changing his focus to where your hands are joined.

"Thank you," your words came out more like a whisper than you would've liked. "I know I don't do much for you...but I'm hoping I'm not that much of a nuisance, like I feel I am." he turns his hand, joining his fingers with yours and making eye contact with you. The simple gesture of affection made your head dizzy in a way you haven't felt in a long time. Your heart creaks up a little.

"You couldn't be one even if you tried," he said, his gaze lazily tracing the outlines of your face. You were the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his life, even now. Even after all the hardships you've been through, and that you're still going through. The adoration his heart held for you never stopped burning, no matter how much he wished for it to do so. For San, loving you was as easy as it sounded and as hard as it could get. Setting his eyes on the bags under your eyes he recalled a memory that stood like a scar on his brain. Your eyes were so dark that day, your eye bags a shade of purple he hadn't seen on any painting quite yet. Your lips were pale and chapped and your skin looked like it lost all its pigment.

Black didn't suit you so well, he thought. Not when it was worn the way you were wearing it then.

But the worst came when it was time to say goodbye. He still remembered your cries and wails and it made the skin on his spine tremble in its place. Could he ever forget how, on that day, you looked like the angel of death?

Now you looked better...like life was coming, little by little, back into your body, and the pure sunlight was definitely helping it. He should let the sun see you more often, he thought.

You pulled your hand from his when you felt like his eyes were analyzing your features for a bit too long. Rising in a standing position, you started examine the insides of the basket he prepared.

"Oh my God! You brought me watermelon!" you shouted loudly as you took the container holding the red pieces of fruit in it. The only thing San could do at your reaction was laugh, throwing his head back to look at the puffed up white clouds.

Four days since you brushed your teeth, three since you showered, two since you changed your clothes, one since you ate, and one year, eleven months and fourteen days since you've last held the love of your life in your arms. But, hey, who's keeping count anyways?

Time loses all its meaning when you confine yourself like you are some dangerous animal meant to be locked up in a cage. Between the moments you try to stay awake and the ones you try to sleep, you have little to remember. The only thing that gives a little light to the fog in your brain is San. His stories in the middle of the night, conversations you happen to have during the day and occasional meetings that you're always the one to initiate. He always makes you feel good, always picks the right words to say and you don't know how he has the patience for such things. You love and hate him for it. You love him for being such a considerate and kind person, and you hate him for making you forget. It's strange when you get home and reality dumps on you at the front door. The reality you actually live in and not one you indulged yourself to have with San for a few hours. It's just...with him everything is colorful and melodic but when you get home the only thing you hear are your sighs echoing off the walls back into your ears. You wished you could be stuck in the feeling you have around him forever, but at the same time, every time you have that feeling you feel guilty for it. Like it's impossible to allow yourself any sort of break.

The last days have been impossible to get through. All you did was look around at the mess that was around you. A mountain of clothes, waiting to be washed for weeks now, a sink full of dishes and mugs, lots of crumpled sheets on the ground ( proof of all your tries to put something together). Everything was a disaster, inside and out. You had no willpower to do anything about it but you knew that the more you would stay in a shitty space, the more you would feel like shit. So for the first time in months, you opened the window.

*****

He placed the two mugs on the windowsill as he opened the window, allowing the cold breeze of the morning to brush over the exposed skin. He watched you closely as you made sure to turn off the stove and place the coffee pot in the sink. Your eyes met his as you felt the cold air run down your back, giving you shivers. He smiled contentedly at the sight of your body slowly shuddering. The "window" habit was a thing Hongjoong let into the relationship since the beginning of it. It was crazy for you how sometimes you caught him doing it first thing after waking up. You loved to watch him open the window and inhale the morning air with his elbows pressed against the wooden frame. Those moments wouldn't last long, but you treasured them more than he maybe thought about it. There was a thing about this domestic life, and seeing him do his own rituals that had you turn into quite the observer.

"You love to make me cold, don't you?" you smile brightly getting closer and closer, until you reach the space right in front of him.

"Angel, you're so hot in the morning that I'm afraid you might overheat. I need to cool you down a little, don't I?" he says on his usual cheeky tone, the one you grew to love in such little time. As he places his hand on your hip, you take a sip of your coffee. Like your actions served as a reminder of the hot liquid resting in his mug, he does the same.

"I can think of some other ways you could cool me down..." you say as you hook your finger on the front waistband of his pajama pants, sliding it from left to right. He chuckles in his mug and pulls you closer. Your chests rise in unison as you look each other in the eye, you don't say anything but this moment feels like a promise neither of you wants to break.

He looks to his left, at the city and at the people. Taking advantage of the opportunity, you place a few slow kisses on his jaw.

"I want us to find a new place," he says scooping you up as you squeal in surprise. You hook your legs behind his waist instantly while he walks towards the bedroom. "I want a balcony." He completes before kissing you and you laugh into the kiss, thinking of the many ways you two could make use of said balcony. He sure was thinking the same thing you did, giving how he started laughing as well.

His laugh was the only thing you ever wanted to hear again.

*****

You look down at the windowsill and see the brown marks in the body of two circles imprinted on the wooden surface. You always told him to use the damn coasters. Now the wood was stained. Permanently stained. Permanently ruined. Just like you were.

As you get on with cleaning you try to keep your brain busy with thoughts like what you should do after you finish a task, and what you should do after that one is finished as well. You thank yourself for choosing to clean, as you get out of the shower and throw yourself into the bed. Not only does it now smell like flowers, but you're also tired enough for sleep to steal you the minute you close your eyes.

"Ha! Check mate!" San exclaimed from the other side of the table you both were sat at. This was an odd activity that you had never done before. Playing chess, in a park, fully exposed to the summer sun. And you weren't even middle aged. Crazy to see how far the desperation to get out of the house will make someone go. But if it was with San, you were sure that there weren't many place where you wouldn't go.

"Your mind seems to be elsewhere," he said, angling his head innocently like the little puppies do when you tell them not to lick the outlet. His black hair was swooped out of his face, making his cheekbones pop out in a way you didn't think it was more humanly possible.

"Oh, you know damn well I suck at chess, San." you said kicking his queen with your finger. It became clear to him that you were an unfit partner for this game after like, the half of the first match. As the piece made contact with the chessboard, San tittered, making his eyes turn into crescents and his dimples scar his cheeks again.

"You just don't want to learn," he said as he started picking the pawns. You gave him a hand, collecting all the pieces on your side.

"You play the pawns when you still have the queen..." he offered a dramatic sigh as he clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. True, it was more comfortable to lose with the pawns than with the queen.

"How's the book going?" placing the game of chess in his backpack, he made eye contact with you as he pressed his elbows against the surface in between. You sigh.

"It's not," you admit thinking about all the documents you've erased the last month or every manuscript you tossed in the trash. Nothing was coming together and you hated every word after writing it. Not only was this process driving you mad but it also made you doubt all your abilities as a writer. People would expect more from someone who had a bestseller out there, you thought. But it wasn't your job to rise to anyone's expectation.

"Maybe I was just a one hit wonder." you say smiling sadly. It really did pain you to think that you weren't able to do the sole thing you ever thought yourself good at. But maybe, after you lived in a thousand realities in the past two years (as of today, maybe the reason why you wanted to get out of your home so bad), this was your new one. A reality in which you weren't able to write anymore. Fear was not even close to describe how you felt about the future.

"Don't kid yourself, I know you'll make it eventually." San offers, grabbing your hand in his. "You know, you should be the last person who is hard on yourself." he rubs your hand with his thumb. You wish you could pull away from his touch, or to at least want to pull away. But you don't. His touch is comforting and not a lot of things in your life are that way right now. As you look at him there is a sudden desire to punch yourself in the face, for the only thing that comes through your mind is to thank him again. As you did countless of times before. He did say he grew tired of it.

"You know what I'm in the mood for?" you avoid the subject successfully as he rises his eyebrows, showering you in all his undivided attention. "Drinking my sorrows at a shitty bar." you finish off, painting a big smile on your face. He mirrors it as he sighs through his teeth, letting go of your hand. He notices your intention to avoid talking about anything serious. Anything that might actually help you. You always do it, that is exactly why you talk to him only about nonsense and why, when you call him in the middle of the night (and when he always, always answers) you make him tell you a story. Leaving him to be the only one to talk as you doze off. Never leaving room for him to ask you what is wrong or what you dreamed of. Is how you got on until then, and maybe that is why it went so slowly, the whole "moving on" thing everyone was telling you about. But it was the thing that worked best for you, you figured. Not talking about the elephant in the room got you this far, you can go a little more like that.

"Well, I happen to know the perfect place for that," rising from his seat, he extends his hand towards you. "Shall we?"

You didn't know if it was the alcohol or the bar lights or simply just him. Honestly, you couldn't tell the difference between many things anymore, but as you looked at San talking, you felt more attracted to him than ever. The mole near his eyelid seemed more prominent now, and so did his muscular arms under the fitted shirt he wore, and oh, the freckles painting constellations on his neck. His eyes were sparkling brightly and his teeth were showing from time to time. You looked closely as he licked his lips after taking a sip of his beer. The way he was doing it seemed almost erotic. That one part of your brain that would feel bad for having these thoughts has died when you drank your fourth shot, but you were glad it did. You felt more comfortable now, and with San here, there was not a lot more that you would wish for. Not realistic wishes anyway.

"I need to know which side you stand on," he says angling his body towards yours. "Socks on or off during sleep?" San asks with a serious face, as if he asked if you enjoyed kicking puppies in the face or eating toddlers for dinner. You burst out laughing at the mix of the question and his expression.

"Off, I'm not a psychopath." you answer through your stilled laugh. He frowns.

"Oh no, you're definitely a psycho. Do your feet not get cold?" a bit of frustration could be heard in his voice.

"How would I know? I'm asleep the whole time." you sip from your drink. "Don't tell me you like pineapple on pizza as well..." you plead looking at him.

"And what if I do? It's a good combination! It's like mint chocolate, de-li-cious." San smiles proudly at his outrageous statements. Maybe he is not the person you thought he was. God, he told you so much and yet you still knew so little. That was one of the most intriguing things about him. That you felt like a lifetime wouldn't ever be enough for you to get to know him completely. Like everyday he would pick another thing to like, or something utterly new to do so he doesn't get bored. He always told you how he gets bored of things and people so fast. And yet there he was, still by your side. Maybe you were the mystery he didn't get to solve yet.

"Dude, not toothpaste too.." you cry out as you push his arm, but instead of pushing him, you push yourself. You almost lose your balance off the bar stool, but San's quick reflexes kick in and grab you by the arm, pulling you back in sitting position. He cackles as you try to maintain your balance.

"Maybe we should get you home." he says laying some bills on the bar. You hum in approval and get to your feet as you follow him out of the bar, which was indeed shitty. San is a man of his word.

The walk home was short and calm as you focused more on seeming sober than to what was happening around you. It already got dark as you two strolled past the abandoned streets laughing about things you unwillingly forgot as soon as you finished laughing. This moment, you thought to yourself, is the one that you would remember when a certain song plays. One that will give you the same sensations you feel in this moment. And far away from right now, when you know you will be better, when you listen to that certain song, you'll think wow, so much has changed. That moment could happen 10 days from now, or ten years. You don't know yet. But something about this uncertainty makes you relax somehow, knowing that you still have hope. And most of it is thanks to San. He may not be aware of all the things that he is helping you with, but you are. It's like a mental list that you never stop writing on. Could you ever repay him for any of it?

"Here we are," he says as he places his hand on your shoulder and you take a hold of his arm as he rattles on about not drinking anymore and going to sleep and whatever else he decided to nag you about. Your focus is only on his lips, and then his eyes, and his lips again, and his hand on your arm, and then feeling his arm flexing underneath your touch, and the feeling of being taken care of by someone. You realize you don't want this night to end quite yet.

"Do you wanna come in?" you interrupt, and observe his quick reaction of rapidly shutting his mouth and widening his eyes.

"I could use a live storytelling session right now." you add.

What where you asking for exactly? As you looked at him hesitate for a bit, you weren't sure that you knew either. But after a few seconds of looking around, he hums in approval as he nods and follows you inside your home. It's not as clean as you would wish but not as messy as to apologize for anything. You both take off your shoes and walk into the open space living room. Feeling San's presence close behind you, you turn and signal for him to sit down on the couch as you go to a little counter.

"I have vodka, whiskey and some cherry liquor," you turn your head back towards him. He was sitting on your couch now. But not how someone who entered their friend's apartment for the first time would be expected to sit, no. Because he didn't have that posture of "oh, I don't want to make myself comfortable because my presence here is out of place". No. He looked like he fucking owned the place. Like he payed the bills. Like he chose every single piece of decoration there was inside your home. And you weren't mad about it, if you were being honest. The everlasting confidence that was emanating out his every pore always looked good on him. His legs were spread apart, and you didn't forbid yourself to spend more than a few seconds scanning his thighs, thinking of numerous ways you could make use of them. Prominent Adam's apple marked his throat as his head was thrown back over the backrest. It seemed that he moved in slow motion, lazily pulling his head up and in your direction.

"Glass of whiskey would be nice." he answered through a half pout as his hands splayed even more on the higher edge of the couch. Obeying his orders, you unconsciously let his choice be the one you make as well, so you pour the liquid in two glasses. The strong scent hits you immediately, and you know you won't be able to drink it, the alcohol in your system will reject this on the spot if you dared adventure too far. But you decided back when you invited your friend into your house, tonight was the night you were going to test your limits.

You sit yourself on the couch, next to the man you hide your desire for not so well, closer than you usually would. And he seems to observe regarding the fact that he appears to be leaning a bit into you. Maybe it's in your head. He sips from the glass you hand him, licking his lips again, the gesture he did at the bar seems to be hitting you in a certain, already wet, spot in between your legs as it did a little time ago. He hums right after swallowing the drink, you follow with interest the way his Adam's apple moves up and down. Why is he being so unworldly attractive tonight? Is it really the alcohol or has the sexual tension finally built up enough for you to not be able to take it anymore. You feel an unexpected, but not unwelcomed, ache in your heart and stomach and definitely in your pussy. He places the glass down, with careful fingers, on the table before you and resumes his previous stance, except now one of his hands chooses to rest on the thigh closer to you. You admire it from respectable distance, one which you weren't sure you'd be able to maintain for too long. His hands were clean, nails kept short on his slender long fingers, and the rings adorning them only completed the way his veins were traveling down the back of his palm. Will there ever be a time where you could look at Choi San and not like what you see? Highly doubtful.

"That's some good shit," finally his face catches your attention, and happily so. He looks at you through his lashes, smirking with one corner of his beautiful mouth. You wondered how his lips might feel. On yours, on your neck, your chest, everywhere. "never took you for a whiskey person."

"I'm not," you say through a bittersweet smile and you realize that maybe you really, desperately need the alcohol right now, so you chug some of it down. "it's been laying around." you finish the sentence and then the glass of whiskey and you place it down the table, next to his. The contrast of the glasses, one empty and one half full, makes you amused in some kind of way. It let's you reminiscence of the many times that you heard from a certain someone, how you were always rushed in the most unfit situations. It was true.

As you look back to San, you feel like you are left with no choice than laying on your back and placing your head on his lap. So you do, maybe slower than you feel you move in your drunk-dazed mind. As you nuzzle the back of your head into his thighs, you close your eyes, for your vision was getting blurry and the room slowly spun around.

"You can begin anytime." you sigh out and feel him shifting a bit underneath you. He chuckles lowly and it takes him a few moments to adjust to the situation presented before him, it would be strange to you too. These were exactly the kind of things that you hesitated to do with San, because you partly knew his feelings for you, so you didn't want to give too much water to the well. Exactly the kind of intimacy that would leave room to hope for more, want more.

And not only from his side.

"I met this girl a while ago," he starts and softly places his hand on top of your head, massaging your scalp and slowly pulling at strands of your hair. "she's the whole package. Smart, funny, kind and so fucking hot." , safe to say you don't expect his last words to hit you like they do. A tad bit of jealousy makes its presence felt in the bottom of your heart, thinking that there might be a possibility that he doesn't refer to you. But the slow strokes his fingers offer your head make you feel too good to give it any importance.

"She's got this thing about her, I don't know how to even say it. It's like every time we talk, we knew each other since birth and like the first time we ever met, all at once. It's incredible, really." the way he talked was how you only heard people talk in movies. Hopeless romantic to the very end.

"Sounds like she's got you head over heels." you huff out slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, you'd be shocked," silence following his words, words that had a heartbroken nuance to them. He continues to massage your head and his touch feels so good, so comforting, so familiar. Like he did it every time he saw you, like he at least imagined doing it every time. "she really loves my stories." he adds after what seems to be like forever, and his hand stops, pulling itself out of your proximity. Your eyes shoot open and you find his gaze upon you. At the same time he looks sad, his eyes are also filled with anticipation, of what is to come, of how you would react to the fact that he just confirmed it was you he talked about. You sit up, trying not to let the slight dizziness in your head get the best of you and turn to him. Faces close to each other, studying him one last time before things change between you two. He wants it. And you clearly want it. Both of you so bad that it's not even a surprise how you meet halfway into a kiss. You thank the universe in your head, for it being this way. For you to not beat yourself up too much later that you initiated anything. So you let yourself sink into the feeling of him, his smell intoxicating. You know that it will be hard to not feel it in your lungs for a long time after this, and you were happy for it to be that way. Your lips are shy at first, not used to kissing anymore, not used to someone who hasn't kissed you before. But the feeling is more than pleasant. He takes his time, slowly nipping away at your bottom lip, swiftly pushing his tongue into your mouth. Your teeth clash and you both smile, licking into each other's mouths a bit more. His lips are soft and so warm, this feeling has long been forgotten by your mind. He pulls away and you gasp for air, he reaches to brush the hair out of your face and cups your face gently, looking into your eyes with a glimmer you were sure you haven't seen on him before. But you knew exactly what it meant.

"I don't want it if you don't." he says, assuring you once again that his actions will only be made for your comfort.

"I can't even tell you how bad I want it." your voice soft as it answers, and after receiving your words with wonder on his face, San downs the whiskey left in his glass, only to rush kissing you right after he gulps it down. If the first kiss was both of you navigating uncharted waters, now you were both desiring more. Hungrily devouring each other, whiskey tasted so much better on his tongue. You climbed into his lap as he pulled you closer to his chest. Serving as a reminder, you needed to get that shirt off of him. And as you helped him get rid of it, you weren't even surprised of how he looked even better than what you kept picturing all night. He returned the favor of undressing you of your shirt, and briefly cupped your breasts through your bra as he pulled you into another kiss. His hands quickly running to your waist, pulling you deeper into his lap, feeling him get hard underneath you, moment by moment. One of his palms traveled down to massage your butt cheek through your jeans, and the other quickly moved up to unhook your bra deftly with steady fingers.

"You must be popular with the ladies." you whisper close to his mouth and he chuckles.

"Not with the ones I want." he replies and you jokingly slap his bicep in response. He pulls the bra off throwing it somewhere nearby and admires your chest for a second too long before taking one of your nipples in his mouth. You throw your head back and whimper at the feeling of his tongue swirling around the sensitive part of your breasts. You tangle your fingers in his hair as you try to slowly ride his thigh, feeling the need to get rid of the tension in some kind of way. He let's your nipple out of his mouth with a lewd pop and laughs as he glues his hand to the back of your head, forcing you to look into his eyes.

"Darling if you want something you just need to ask," he brings his mouth over to your chest, planting sprinkled kisses along your collarbones. "my thigh? my fingers? my cock?" he asks in between suctions on the soft, sensitive skin of your neck. You were so sexually frustrated that you thought you were going to cry, and his words definitely didn't help. If something, they only made the tightness in your belly feel even tighter. "Which one will it be?" he asks finally as his eyes find yours again. You barely manage a pathetic whimper as he let's go of your head to unbutton your jeans. His hand slides slowly until it meets the band of your panties, but it doesn't go further, his eyes stopping on your face.

"Fuck, San, I want everything." you finally verbalize for him, your words laced with desperation for him to take things further. He closes his eyes and smiles in satisfaction when hearing your words, resuming the attack on your neck, biting down some marks here and there. His fingers finally get a hold of your clit and you shudder at the sensation. The circular motions he starts only make you moan his name quietly, through whimpers. It's been so long since you touched yourself like that, let alone somebody else. Masturbation was a thing you couldn't get back into since everything happened. Every time you tried, your mind only pictured Hongjoong, and it always ended with you crying without releasing in any kind of way. That was how you spent the last two years of your life, no wonder you were sexually frustrated. But now, the only thing on your mind was San, and how you could get him to make you cum faster. The position wasn't really a favorable one, he didn't have much access and so, his movements were limited and slow. San sinks his hand further down, teasing your hole with his middle finger, coating it in your arousal.

"You're so wet baby," he slowly pushes his finger into you, wandering into your inside, and your tightness. It did definitely feel like rain after a long drought. He pumped his finger inside you a few times, adding an extra one after a few seconds, stretching you in a way that has become unfamiliar but satisfying all the same. He fastened his pace and you unconsciously started to ride his fingers, chasing after your long awaited release. It wouldn't last too much, taking in consideration that you haven't orgasmed in so long. Your left hand was on San's nape, anchoring you to some sort of reality that he was indeed there, and the other one was on his chest. It wasn't much longer until your body conjured the estranged feeling in your tummy, you were close. San seemed to read your thoughts once again as his movements came to a halt, you offered a frustrated whimper in return. He lifted you up of his lap and placed you on your back next to him. He helped you get rid of your jeans and then your panties.

"I know you want to cum, but I want you to do it in my mouth." his face in between your thighs, breath fanning over your aching core. This time he didn't wait for a verbal response anymore, and you were glad he didn't. His warm tongue licked a long swipe starting from your hole to your clit, his mouth latched to it with sensual movements, sucking and licking at it, taking all the time in the world.

"Ho...ly fu-fuck," you gasped as you threw your head back into the cushion of the couch, arching your back under his ministrations.

His tongue was skilled, and so were his fingers when they slid inside you for the second time tonight. He curled them up, hitting your g-spot every time he pumped them in. Your body shuddered hardly at the sensation.

"Feel good?" he asked looking up at you, for the first time since he positioned you like this, you looked down at him. And what a sight for sore eyes, so lewd that if you looked at it for long enough you would cum without him needing to do anything to you anymore.

"So good," you reply and place one of your hands into his raven hair when he continues abusing your sensitive bud in the best way you could think of, he continues his movements with his tongue and his fingers, and it's only a matter of seconds until it builds up. You pull at his hair as he deepens his head in between the thighs that are now clenched around his head and it finally all becomes too much for you.

"Fuck....San....ahh," you cry out whilst shutting your eyes tightly, thing that makes you see stars in the back of your head.

You feel proud for satisfying his wish. San seems too feel so as well. You come undone on his fingers, and he pulls them out quickly to attend your releasing wetness with his inpatient tongue, you feel as if you could pass out from the soft stimulation. Such a long time since you've had an orgasm and this might have been the best way to have one.

"Fuck, you taste so good," he says as he slowly rises and takes his place above you, letting you have a taste yourself as he kisses you, swirling his wet muscle in every corner of your mouth, making sure none of it is getting left untouched by him. You sure do taste better on his tongue. Feeling his hard dick press on the inside of your thigh, in all its dizziness, your brain only wants more.

"Can we go to the bedroom?" you ask nicely, only to be met once more with San's surprised face. Like the thought that you still might want more never crossed his mind. He helps you up by the waist and lets you guide the way to the room. As you enter the it you quickly run to the bed, throwing yourself on it as you giggle like you're high, and you might as well be. High hormones had the same effect as weed for you. San only shakes his head with a smile on his face, while looking down and getting his belt off. Shit, this is really happening. Really finally happening. He slowly approaches the bed, ridding himself of his pants as he reaches the edge of it. Your friend pulls down his boxers as well, and you watch closely as his erect member is finally out of its entrapment, it springs up vividly, slapping against his torso. You're left in surprise at the sight of his girthy, definitely above average long, cock. You bite your lip involuntarily and he laughs to your reaction.

"You don't need to," you quickly blurt out as soon as you see him pulling a condom from his wallet. "I mean...I'm clean, if so are you then..." well it's safe to say you've became quite a desperate little thing during your two, deprived of sex, years. "then, we don't need to worry." you finish your sentence.

"You sure?" he asks for confirmation once again.

"Yeah, 'm sure." you respond and beckon him with your index finger. He muffles out a swear word you don't quite register as he drops the condom from his hold, quickly climbing on the bed. He crafts a better position above you, kissing you gently as he lines up his tip with your entrance. You whine in anticipation, lips still attached to his own, softer ones. He slowly pushes himself inside, taking lots of time to make sure your tightness grows comfortable around him. It hurts. Not only it is the first time with San, it felt like the first time altogether. At first, it seemed like your damn hymen grew back. Ironic, considering the amount of sex you used to have. You frowned as you whimpered softly into his mouth. He quickly broke the kiss, watching you with a slightly panicked look on his face.

"Hey, you all right?" he brushed the hair out of your face with his right hand, holding his weight on his left arm. You slowly started to get used to him, your whole body relaxing noticeably when seeing his face.

"Yeah, you can move." you stated with a voice glazed with desire. He did as asked, moving his hips in slow strokes, every time trying to deepen himself more inside you. He groaned each time his dick reached a new part of you.

"Fucking hell, how are you so fucking tight?" he lets out in a tone that almost seems annoyed with the state of your pussy.

"You...are the first...since then." you speak in between craving moans. He shudders at your words, stopping for a second, as he buries his forehead in the crook of your neck.

"Well, damn, princess. Should've let me stretch you out sooner." he whispers into your ear. And that is by far the most obscene thing that has left his lips tonight. He started moving again, this time picking a pace that had you crying out for his name. You couldn't think of much else when San was fucking you, his cock kindly brushing over a certain sweet spot every time it reached its depth. His dick and your pleasure occupied most of the place inside you and your mind, respectively. But at one point, you did try to recall how exactly you ended up right there. Somewhere along the way of finding the answer, you realized it didn't matter how, it mattered that it did. And the strokes that San was driving into you only made you thank the universe that it happened. Following after his release, he increased his speed. His voice was starting to get raspy after groaning and moaning, as did yours, both of your throats dry now.

"I...I think I'm gonna cum..." he whispered in your ear, and you immediately understood the question hiding behind his words. Your mind was in a state of debate for a few too many seconds. In or out? The only person that ever came in was him. In or out? But you wanted San to cum inside you so badly. In or out? That wouldn't be fair. In or out? But why wouldn't it be?

"Inside." you determinately say. His movements begin to grow messy, losing rhythm. He immerses into you deep, almost knocking you out with the way his cock is so richly stuffed inside you, and he let's out an angelic cry as he fills you up with white ropes of his hot seed. With his forehead glued to your shoulder, San pauses to catch his breath for a few seconds, before pulling his body up to get better vision of you. He cups your cheek and kisses you softly once again, pulling himself apart from you quicker than expected.

"You're so beautiful," he brushes his thumb over your lips. "I could look at you for all eternity." your heart thumps heavily when hearing his words. It made no sense for you how someone who looked like him, could tell you that you're beautiful. It seemed so far away from your reality, but still, you were thankful. At a loss for words, and only giving a shy smile in return, San mirrors it as he ascends and then throws himself in the empty space next to you. The only thing that is heard the next few minutes is both of your breaths as your chests heave. You nuzzle up into San's side, he embraces you with his arm as you grab him by the waist, laying your head on his chest. He kisses you on the crown of your head as he starts humming a melody that you don't think you've heard yet. Nonetheless, sleep gets a hold of your tired body and mind quickly, and you don't know if it's the alcohol that creates an illusion, or if it's just San's presence, but throughout your dreams you feel as if you are guarded by an angel.

Easily the best sleep you've had in a while. You are reminded of how easy it is to fall asleep on someone else's shoulder, just as you wake up.

*****

Before you met him you always thought you were better at spending time alone than you were at spending time with others. Now your thoughts had changed about the matter. It was like you were made only for being in Hongjoong's company, and when you were, you felt at peace. Like nothing could affect you ever again. The moments after sex were the ones you loved most, it almost felt like after your bodies were joint, your souls were getting combined as well, while laying on one another. He had his warm hand draped against your waist, playfully tracing circles on your soft skin, humming whatever song came to his mind. Your hand was on his bare chest and your head in the crook of his armpit. If you would be stuck in a time loop made only of this moment, you would never get sick of it.

The heat his body was emanating seemed to strangely warm you up from inside out, and the smell that was around the two of you was making your mind dizzy and your lungs crave for more. Feeling his chest rise as he inhaled and exhaled made you realize that your breaths were in sync, and hearing his heartbeat, you were sure they were too, in sync with yours. For you, loving Hongjoong was such a natural thing to do, like you two were extensions of each other and worked at full capacity only when together. His fingers slowly took a hold of your hand which he brought to his lips, he kissed it and then squeezed it tightly. You looked up into his eyes. His beautiful eyes sprinkled with love and adoration as he watched you.

"I think that every day I spend with you, I find a new meaning to love." he brushes your cheek gently and you stay silent, your mind in a stage of awe at how greatly he sums up the things you feel, without even talking to each other. You smile as you kiss him again and again and again.

"Then let's find a new meaning to love together for the rest of our lives," still standing close to his face, you see him smile and you do as well. You knew that even in the darkest of days, his smile would always lighten up your whole world. He pecks your lips again and suddenly tries to get up from the bed, the coldness you feel not only in your body, but your heart as well, wraps around your mind and you quickly grab his hand. He stops and kneels on the bed, looking at your uncovered body still on display for the flame that takes ahold in his enchanting eyes.

"We'll be late..." he says as he gets closer to you. That wouldn't be a problem, you think. The author should be allowed to be late to their own book release, right?

"Ten more minutes," you plead as you pull him towards you. He smirks and let's you take control of both his mind and body, as he lays on top of you, filling you up with the heat emanating from his body once again. After all, ten minutes wasn't that much, right?

*****

There it was. The selfishness that has made you lose him. The selfishness that brought you here with San. Everything was your fault. You lost so much of yourself the day you lost Hongjoong, but you were sure your last bit of humanity was completely lost the day you let Choi San believe that you could love him the same way he did. How could you be so reckless? You couldn't even blame the alcohol anymore, only your fucking stupidity. You used the only friend left that you cared about, as a rebound. And he doesn't even know. You looked up at the man who was holding you tight against his chest, as if not to lose you. He was still asleep. His natural unflawed beauty made your heart exclaim in agony as you traced his features with your gaze. As thoughts were overwhelming your mind, you placed your head in its initial position. Your eyes were starting to sting when tears started to form up.

You were the worst there was, weren't you? You killed your boyfriend and you deceived your friend into being your distraction, from all the pain and guilt, in more than one way. You didn't recognize yourself anymore, not after so much time of ignoring all your thoughts and suppressing all your feelings thinking it would get better. It didn't get better, the opposite actually, seeing where you stand right now. It was all because of you, and your selfishness, and it could've all be avoided if you didn't wish for fucking ten more minutes.

You started quivering and sobbing.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" San confusedly asks. This should be a sight to see as soon as you open your eyes. The girl you were balls deep in the night before, crying in front of you the morning after. Comforting you came natural to him, like he has been doing it for all his life. And you realized he did do it, not for all his life, sure, but since it happened. He has done his best to comfort you in every way he could. And he always succeeded. And this is how you repaid him. How could you be such a fucking asshole?

"San you need to...you have to leave...I'm sorry." you say through sniffles as it gets harder and harder for you to control the tears pouring down your face. You cannot look him in the eyes but you do get a peek at his grave look, how he looks down, unsure of what to do.

"Did I do something?" he quietly asks with a certain thread of fear in his voice, as if he was terrified of what his question might cause. You wish you could tell him that at the same time he didn't do anything, he also did too much. His kindness and love were too overwhelming for you in the state you were in.t. No matter how much he tried, his love couldn't repair you. You were the only one who could do that, but for what felt like the longest time, you didn't want to do it. Maybe it was time to try now.

"God, no..." you barely manage to blurt out. Speaking seems like the most tiring thing to do right now. "I just have to be alone right now." trying to stop your tears briefly, you look him in the eyes as he retracts his hands off of you. And you can't help but feeling it again, even if you know that it's not the case. Abandoned. Once again, and like the first time, it was all because of you. He got up from the bed, quickly dressing himself in the heavy silence that was surrounding both of you. You slowly hugged your knees to your chest, slightly burying your head in the space that you created. Maybe it wasn't for the best to be left alone but you were afraid of what might happen if you weren't. You saw San walk to your front door, put on his shoes and look at you for a last time. You looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Y/N, I..." love you. He didn't need to enunciate it, you could already see it on his face, how much it hurt him to leave you in this mess, all alone. Whatever you felt for him was so hard to decipher in the amalgam of things that were dwelling inside of you. And it was even harder to accept that you did have certain feelings for him, stronger that you would've liked. He sighed and slowly shook his head, looking down. You saw him leave and then you didn't see much anymore. As bitter tears that flooded your eyes slowly slid into your mouth. Painful screams were tumbling out of your chest giving you no chance to control them. As you get up off the bed you start grabbing whatever comes first and throwing it around. Cradled papers, books off of shelves, tiny decorations on your desk. You reach a framed photo of you and Hongjoong and stop for a second to look at it. Back at the beginning of your relationship when you went to a museum. It started snowing so much that his black coat turned white. You still remembered the cold weather of that period but the warmth of his smile was burning still, even through the damn picture. A few of your tears stained the glass of the photo and after you whimpered in the discomfort you felt around your heart, like someone was squeezing it in their fist, you threw it on the wall across from you. Did you really have to destroy everything nice in your life? As soon as it shattered to pieces you rushed towards it, as if you were not expecting the completely obvious to happen.

"No, no, no..." you whisper to yourself in disbelief. You slowly pick the broken glass in your shaking hands as your crying only gets louder, rivers of tears flowing down your face when your eyes can't seem to look anywhere else but at the old photo.

"I miss you so fucking much..." you whimper in pain, like a dog being beaten.

It's pure torture, you realize, what you're doing to yourself. It takes a lot for your now bloody palms to make contact with your face and wipe your tears, only leaving more of a mess behind. The flesh, now torn from picking up the thin pieces of broken glass, stings when your salty tears slide over the bloody trails and as you rise up with wobbly legs to throw it in the trash, you find yourself looking out the same window you stood with your lover on his last day beside you. Your tears suddenly came to a halt as you looked at the city lights near and far away; your breathing steadied and you remembered.

I want a balcony.

How were you supposed to move on, when you haven't even moved out?

You never felt so nervous for anything in your life before. The microphone was waiting for you on the warmly illuminated stage. You took shy steps towards it as the people started to applaud loudly, you were sure you heard someone whistle from the crowd. As you got in front of the microphone stand you placed one hand on it, dragging it closer. You were not sure how to do this. It should've been your second time, but due to the incidents back then, it was the first time in your life you had to speak at your own book release. Or even attend it. You inhaled deeply and looked through the crowd once more. Your eyes met Seonghwa's as he slightly raised the glass of champagne towards you. The pity he laid upon you with the help of his gaze a while back had turned into pride. You couldn't help but remember the surprise on his face when you went not to his office, but his house, at two in the morning, when you finally finished writing.

You spent the night together, he began reading and you fell in and out of sleep on his couch. When you woke up, he made breakfast for you and he told you how great it was, with the little eternal side notes from his side. He was proud.

"I have no idea what I should say," you offer a strong beginning, everyone starting to chuckle at your awkward comment. "I've been through hell and back writing this book. Two years and a half ago I lost the love of my life in a car accident, and for a long time I thought I lost everything." the room became suddenly tense as you spoke the words.

"But this should be a reminder that some doors aren't closed. We just think that they are." you finish off raising your glass and looking at a familiar pair of eyes. Everyone cheers as you get off the stage, and after receiving compliments from your boss, your team and other people as well, you follow the suited silhouette that you've been secretly chasing with your stare all night, outside.

"Hey," you greet as you find San on a bench right next to the venue. His eyes meet yours and for a brief second it's like all the nerves you had on stage came back, but they were doubled this time. It was hard going through everything without San. He tried to contact you, of course, but you weren't giving him much and the only times you saw him were when you ran into each other at work. When you looked at yourself in the mirror you couldn't recognize yourself anymore, but he? He was just the same. Dressed for the occasion, his black hair swiped back neatly and his face...as gorgeous as ever, and the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

"Hey," he greets back as he drags his body on one side of the bench, signaling for you to join him. You sit beside him and look forward, feeling his eyes on your figure. "how have you been?" he asks, his voice glazed in worry. You made him suffer for the last time, you tell yourself. The whole ghosting thing and all the times you avoided him, those summed up the last time you were going to ever hurt him. For now you were working towards slowly healing the wound that has scarred you, which gave you more clarity about a lot of things.

"Better." you answer, looking in his direction. "I finally got it out!" you add smiling, a bittersweet smile that you held inside for a long time, it was for him only.

"I told you." San mimics your smile and looks into the distance.

"You did," moments of silence accompany as you think of the best way to embody your thoughts into words. "I never got to apologize." you start and his head shoots right at you. "I'm sorry. For using you to try and fuck my pain away." finally saying it aloud to him and getting it off your chest make your lungs finally not burn up when you try to inhale.

"I should apologize too," he begins and it's your turn to look at him with confusion.

"A part of me was aware that you were trying to do that and yet I wasn't able to stop myself." he adds. And it's like some part of you already knew, and already forgave him for it and that was because you knew you had way more blame than him, but you learned to come to terms with it, like you did with many things in your life. Learning to forgive yourself wasn't an easy process, but with the help of a good therapist, you slowly learned how to do it. You were at peace with a few of the things that kept you awake during the night. Slowly getting better.

"I'm sorry." he says and you're sure that more honest words had never left his mouth.

You take his hand into yours and place it on your lap. For the first time since you know him, his hands are cold. You use your other palm as a blanket and cover his hand from the cold winter breeze outside. He nurtured for you enough, it was finally time that you were ready to return the favor.

"I read the book," he says, looking at your hands holding each other.

"Lots of them are inspired from your stories," you refer to the poems, thinking of how many more were written with your mind only thinking about him that didn't even make the cut into the book. "and lots of them are inspired from you." You look into his eyes as he squeezes your hand gently. Maybe you didn't yet know what you wanted. But you knew what you didn't want. And you didn't want to lose San. Not again. Not ever.

"Can I take you out on Thursday?" he asks as his gaze stills down on your warm face. If he asked you this on a bad day, you still weren't sure what your answer would be, but today was a good day. You never got to say goodbye to Hongjoong, but that didn't mean you couldn't say hello to anyone ever again. "You know, in case you need more inspiration for your next masterpiece." he adds and you laugh shortly while nodding quickly. You spend a few more minutes in silence, enduring the cold air, silently revealing to each other the most vulnerable parts of you. You look down at your joined hands and then into his eyes. You smile, partly because you do feel happy, and the rest because you know he'll do the same, and hell, you fucking missed that dimpled smile of his.

The man doesn't say anything when you lean your head on his shoulder, but you are almost sure you can hear his heart beating faster. "I missed you so much." you finally say, letting your feelings pour out in front of San for the first time, leaving you vulnerable in a way no one has seen you since then.

And for the first time, while looking at the bright clear sky above you, you think for yourself that...He would be so proud.

#ateez smut #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez san #choi san #san smut #choi san fanfic #choi san smut #hongjoong fanfic #kpopsmut #xenizaation

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prokopetz · 10 months

Text

I have a pinned post for my games in development, but it doesn't really describe what they're about, and apparently this is something we're doing today, so:

My games in development, in rough order of priority:

(Note: all of these have public playtest drafts behind the links.)

Eat God

A game about weird little anarchist muppets with reality-warping powers themed after classic Looney Tunes gags wandering around a classic sword-and-sorcery fantasy setting stirring up trouble. Roughly 50% character creation rules by volume, with provisions for randomising every part of it; the linked draft, above, includes an online character generator if you want to play with it. The mechanics are a sort of elaborated spiritual successor to Costume Fairy Adventures, a game whose development I headed up about a decade ago.

Current status: actively writing, hopefully zeroing in on a feature-complete playtest draft within the next month or two.

Tiny Frog Wizards

One of my customarily literal titles, this is a game where you play as wizards who are tiny frogs. Features elaborate semi-freeform rules for casting spells, lots of big stupid random tables for when spells go off the rails, and absolutely no mechanics for anything that isn't casting a spell; it's a very focused sort of game. Narratively, it's a game about being an overpowered little twerp sticking your nose into other people's problems and offering solutions no-one asked for. Portions of the rules crib shamelessly from @jennamoran's Nobilis 3rd Edition, for which I offer acknowledgement but no apologies.

Current status: development of the text has been set aside for the moment to work on visual identity, with an eye toward crowdfunding an expanded hardcover edition later in the year.

Space Gerbils

A tactical mecha combat game with a very silly twist: the entirety of the tactical positioning occurs inside the mecha, because the game's premise is basically "what if instead of the Big Reveal at the end of Metroid (1986) being that Samus Aran is secretly a girl, Samus Aran was secretly 3–5 small gerbil-like creatures operating a person-size mech suit?" Players engage in positional jockeying and resource management to determine which stations they're crewing within the suit, which is boiled down to a single roll of the dice to determine what happens outside the suit. Includes papercraft minifigs.

Current status: essentially feature-complete, apart from some character creation options and a planned random mission generator; this will likely be the next game I crowdfund after Tiny Frog Wizards.

Indie RPG Prompt Generator [working title]

Essentially a joke that got out of hand, this is a big set of random tables of common indie RPG tropes that you can roll on to generate a description of a hypothetical game, complete with specific rules toys and setting beats. I probably could have finished this up already, but I decided to include examples of each rolled element, which turned into this big hairy research project I'm not able to give adequate attention to right now. If you've got a game of your own that you think would be a good fit for a presently unfilled example slot, please, let me know!

Current status: plugging away at it in bits and pieces as I'm able.

Three Raccoons in a Trenchcoat

This is an anthology consisting of three minigames: the eponymous Three Raccoons in a Trenchcoat, which is self-explanatory; Unfamiliar, in which you play as uncooperative wizards' familiars; and System Crash, in which you play as malfunctioning robots. More a series of formal experiments in character creation and group composition than proper full-featured games, all share the same core mechanics, with milieu-specific addons of varying practicality; for example, System Crash has specific rules for which senses each player is allowed to use when asking the GM for information, because it's completely possible to have a group in which only one of the robots can see. Large portions of Unfamiliar were later re-used in Eat God, above.

Current status: I have a list of notes as long as your arm on planned changes to integrate into the text, and I'm confident I'll get around to doing so one of these years.

Gone to Hell

Literally a Doom (2016) pastiche as a Belonging Outside Belonging game, which is just as silly an idea as it sounds; grown out of an earlier 24-hour RPG called Doomguy. The central conceit is that there's only a single player character, with players taking turns assuming the role of the Slayer, while everyone else takes ownership of the various hostile factions comprising the game's conspiratorial twelve-car pileup of a plot. Lots of pontificating about the implicit power structures of tabletop RPG groups. This one probably needs a full rewrite in order to lend a bit more formal structure to the "one player character, many GMs" conceit than out-of-the-box BOB offers.

Current status: I have not looked at this game in three years, which is actually a really long time for me.

Rotate Bird

Another of my "is this a formal experiment or a real game" titles, this one revolves around constructing characters out of abstract symbols, which are interpreted during play to retroactively define what your character is actually capable of doing. Even the title seen above is an interpretive approximation; strictly speaking, the game is called 🔄🐦. Possibly the most shitposty game I've ever written, which is saying something, but based on playtest feedback it seems functional.

Current status: the only reason this is listed as lower in priority than Gone to Hell is because I genuinely don't know what to do with it. It's probably publishable, with some cleanup editing and graphic design, but it feels like there's something missing. I'm open to suggestions!

Get in the Fucking Robot

A pamphlet-size, competitive, GMless title that's at least as much a board game as it is a tabletop RPG, this one is about a bunch of dysfunctional candidate mecha pilots competing to be the first to pilot the titular giant robot. The game is played under misère conditions: while each character's IC goal is to pilot the robot, each player's OOC goal is to avoid that fate, with the player whose character actually Gets in the Fucking Robot being accounted the loser.

Current status: playtesting suggests the current framework of play doesn't actually work – like, at all – so this one needs to go all the way back to the drawing board; I don't feel like doing that any time soon, which puts it squarely at the bottom of the list.

#gaming #tabletop roleplaying #tabletop rps #game design #wips #swearing

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halleyscomet14 · 19 days

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ouuuhh I read yr fic and oh my goodness it’s so sapphicly beautiful even if it could very well be gender neutral ,,,,,

I love love love writing blurbs abt my favorites so … any off handed Billie thoughts???

here’s one I had after reading ur fic

you as her lover go to every concert, touring by her side as even at her busiest, she needs you to ground her. you having a front row seat , smiling at her and listening to her perform. she’s smug, flirting with you on stage in a way that makes the whole crowd swoon for her. you’ve always loved watching her perform, ofc, you love the way she carries herself, the way she talks, the way she sings, voice serenading itself into everybody’s ears from her lips through the speakers, and that all gets to be put on a stage for you? It’s perfect.

You love touring with her, because even after all of that, you get to snuggle with her in her tour bus after the show. You get to see her have fun and then , you see her soften.

augh sorry I saw you liked my post abt me being dragged down into Billie’s fandom and whatnot and I had to look at ur posts..

santa ana

relationships: billie eilish x female reader

warnings: none! just fluff

word count: 1683

summary: billie usually invited her girlfriend to shows, and today was santa ana, the first place she ever did a show at!

it had been around a year of dating billie, and while you sometimes had time to be with each other to do things like: cuddle until you fall asleep, make those cookies you saw online, film tiktoks only to put them in your drafts or just watch the show she hooked you on; sometimes the celebrity-singer lifestyle would get in the way. billie was a massive singer internationally and it was no doubt fans wanted, concerts, interviews and meet&greets. so, you occasionally had been in the cramped schedule of singer life. you didn’t mind it too much though!

billie would tag you along to every concert she had, so when she invited you to come to Santa Ana with her to a concert, it wasn’t the biggest surprise.

today was the concert day. as always, you woke up next to your breathtaking girlfriend. “g’morning gorgeous” she said as you opened your eyes. a smile grew on both your faces, thinking how you were lucky to wake up next to billie. small rays of sun shone on your bed, onto billie’s beautiful blue eyes. “morning baby” you greeted back. “i’m going to order breakfast from room service, want anything?” she asked you as she rose up from the bed, and walked towards the telephone on the desk. “i’ll have what you’re having!” you replied. she turned to face you, “burritos it is” she said, slightly smirking.

the day moved on, and you arrived at the arena. you both were at the bus, just sitting next to each other when you saw billie fidgeting with her rings. she was nervous before each show, and this show was the first show she had planned. even though the last concert she did was only around 5 months ago, something was wrong. she was unnecessarily stressed. “hey, babe?” you questioned. no response. she kept looking at the floor of the bus, still fidgeting with her head down, eyes locked. you moved your hand down to her vision and reached on to hold her hand. “billie?” you asked, a bit louder now. she snapped back to reality. “huh? oh sorry y/n.” she said looking at you. her hand held yours back. “everything okay?” you questioned. her hand went up to her neck, scratching the back of it. “yeah, yeah. just a bit nervous.” she replied, with a bit of a shaky voice, indicating she was stressed out. “i know you’re always nervous before shows but, something seems off. you know if you need to talk about-“ you got cut off. “yeah baby, i know.” she smiled at you. “you know this place was the first place i did a concert at.” she continued. “really?” you asked, surprised. chuckling, “yeah actually. kinda a milestone so… just kinda nervous about it. this place means stuff so, uh. just don’t wanna mess up.” she explained. “totally get it. but that was one time! your shows need exercise and movement bils! i mean, it’s normal to be nervous. you’ve done so many shows now, you should know that a shit ton of fans care more about seeing you then the actual show.” you say. the bus starts to slow down, showing that you’re there. “also, i know you’re gonna kill it. i’m gonna be in awe the whole show, gonna be totally shocked from how much of an incredible show you put on. i bet everyone will leave with a smile.” you say, trying your best to comfort her. she smiles at you, “yeah. i shouldn’t get it to my head. i got this.” she says, you hear the van door open.

standing up, “wanna greet some fans?” she offers. “no thanks babe. have fun!”. she nods, and leans in for a kiss, she holds your neck, and you reach out your hand when she pulls away. she plants one kiss on your forehead and waves as she gets out of the bus. billie greeted the fans waiting in line. taking pictures with her fans, talking and interacting with them must be the highlight of her day, except the part where after a long concert, both of you hopped in the shower and tossed your tired body’s to bed, mending with each other as you cuddled.

you met up with finneas and claudia, which you chatted for a bit. in the middle of the conversation, you saw billie, in a rush with her manager, yelling at him. she seemed to be mad. you faced finneas, looking at him puzzled. then, you left them to chase after billie, to possibly help put out the commotion going on. you went through the halls with fluorescent lighting, then turned right into a room where you heard your girlfriends familiar voice. in the room you saw her manager, yelling at her to do something you didn’t quite follow, and saw billie sitting on the couch looking disappointed and mad. they kept yelling while you leaned to the doorframe, listening on to see if you could help. these things happened all the time and to billie, you seemed like the answer to relax. her manager stormed out the room, and that was the perfect place to comfort her. “i cant believe that stupid guy!” billie yelled, “i literally wanted one thing, one thing for the fucking show! how can you mess that up! gosh i’m working with such incompetent people!” she continued. she kept talking, you put a hand on her back and started drawing shapes the way you knew she liked. it was soothing for her. the two of you sat there for about 30 minutes, trying to clear the very tense billie’s mind. she got announced to get ready, so you placed a kiss on her lips, wishing her good luck on the concert and assuring she’ll kill it anyways.

the show had already started outside with the starter band getting the crowd ready. you also went out to the stage, to get to your exclusive spot where you would watch every concert.

the crowd hyped up with every minute passing, and when you heard the intro to NDA, you knew you were ready for a long night. your girlfriend, in her usual concert attire arrived on stage, making an epic entrance. you eyes shone at the sight of your girlfriend on stage. each concert, she knew how to surprise you with her acts, her voice and every other little aspect.

you sang along to every song as the concert went on. between songs, she stopped to talk with the crowd. “okay so, this song is a fan favorite. and i wrote it for someone very special too! i want everyone to sing along, can you guys do that?” she talked to the crowd. they yelled yes all together. it could’ve been a couple different songs, but you assumed it would be birds of a feather, written after your relationship. “knew i could count on you guys! so then, let’s sing for the love of my life. mama, i’m gonna sing this to you.” she said in her soft baby voice. “i’ll love you till the day that i die baby!” she said as the intro of birds of a feather rolled in. the crowd sang along to the verse. and as the famous part of the song rolled in, billie went up towards the front of the stage to make eye contact with you. still singing, she went down to come next to your special spot with the help of the guards. “till the light leaves my eyes!” she sang as she held your chin, cameras facing you to show you on billie’s eye contact on screen. both of you smiled, gosh you were so in love. “but you’re so full of shit!” she sang, you frowned, the crowd went “aw”. she quickly placed a peck on your lips in order to apologize. you smirked.

a few songs later therefore i am came up, and we all know the acts to that song. fully holding eye contact during the parts where she layed on the floor of the arena, seducing everyone, she held eye contact with you. you both looked deep into each others eyes, both of you knowing how hot billie looked right there.

her last song of the set was lunch. when they heard the banger start playing, the crowd went wild. everyone way jumping, screaming the lyrics, whilst you mouthed the lyrics too. the crowd knew who billie was singing the song to. concerts felt so much more special with the new album. billie had really discovered herself.

the concert ended, and you were escorted out to the lounge where billie and finneas were. you jumped to your girlfriend, hugging her tightly. “that was so rad!” you smiled at her. you then faced finneas, hugging and congratulating him on the amazing show they put on. you turned to billie again, running into her arms and hugging her once more. finneas left the room. you let go of the hug to hold on her neck, kissing her deeply. your lips mended together as you felt her hand creep up your waist, giving you butterflies. “babe!” you yelled, still in awe of her amazing concert. “i killed it,didn’t i!?” she asked with excitement. “for sure bils!” you said in return. “when are we heading back?” you asked billie, knowing the both of you were tired after a long concert day. “whenever. let’s head out.” she says. both of you grab your stuff, and you hold billie’s hand through the hallways after a successful show. it was a bit later than midnight, as you walked to your tour bus.

you layed down to the couch on the bus as you waited for billie. she came in the room with something way more comfortable and joined you. you cuddled, placing a kiss on her forehead you were on the verge of falling asleep. “i love you, billie” you say to her, looking up. “i love you too, mama” she says. “till the day that i die.” she whispered in your ear. you smile.

#billie eilish fluff #billie eilish #billie eilish smut #fanfic #spotify #hit me hard and soft #hmhas #wwafawdwg #when we all fall asleep where do we go #ilomilo #hte #happier than ever #dsam #dont smile at me #billie eilish x fem!reader #billie eilish x y/n #billie eilish x you #billie eilish x reader

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fumifooms · 3 months

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i know you aren't really into marcille/laios any longer, but since you went looking online for dungeon meshi doujins, did you happen to find any other marcille/laios ones? (funnily enough at the convention i was at a couple weeks back they had like five, but they were extremely over-exaggerated and personally i prefer my fan content relatively in character...)

Ok first of all: Yeah listen laimar doesn’t have a grip on me anymore but I still quite enjoy it! Just more passively… Altho I do have an analysis that focuses a lot on the importance they hold to each other in my early stage wips drafts, and listen in canon I do think they’re queerplatonic flavored, call me an ot3 qpr truther because Laios Marcille and Falin have a something going on and it transcends being put into a box. But hey hey I reblog laimar artworks I bought that recent doujin I put laimar fics in my -checks- 106 pages long to-read list… Also I have like 5 pages of fanfic prompts for them I may or may not get to writing. Though yeah I do feel bad whenever I notice people following after liking all my laimar posts haha

Sadly to get to the meat of the topic, not really… I don’t go to cons for lack of opportunity so whatever I find is through online. The one I got is The Fourth Basement Floor, it has an english ver and seems so so very in character I can’t wait to get it! Otherwise I’ve looked on Otakurepublic & Doujinrepublic since I use their services for merch from Japan, warning if you click on the link, there are 18+ ones and covers can be pretty explicit. I don’t remember any other laimar one except the one nsfw one I think, but on the plus side there are a lot of gen no ships doujins. I’m bothered because looking back I feel like the catalogue of doujins was wider when I looked all those months ago and it feels like I’m forgetting something hmm… I wish I could help more, but yeah 😔 Pixiv has many laimar comics up (in japanese) if that sates the hunger any

As consolation since I’m already here, why not show some of my laimar things laying around gathering dust I’m fond of. Don’t look if you don’t want to be spoiled for fics I may or may not write I guess? All down below is just laimar prompts

I spoke about some various ones and esp my timeline where she gets him into Daltian Clan here. "Laios… I was wondering, because you enjoy fantasy stories right? I was wondering if you’d like to give my favorite book series a go… It has monsters!" I love love love post-canon laimar where he gets the habit of chewing on her hair because he’s stimming and hungry. Like a goat.

Laios goes to Marcille for love advice. "You like someone?! Do I know them?" She eagerly asked. "Erm… Yes…?" // Post-canon. He’s so nervous and puts his foot in his mouth n lets things slip out that he thought would give him away. (Comic) "You like someone??! What are they like? Who are they?" And he’s like "Well… She’s a half-elf." He’s like shit she’ll probably know right away. And she goes still. "I’ve never met another half-elf!! We’re so rare! You’re saying you met one and didn’t tell me???!" She’s shaking him. And then she goes still again, contempt drawing on her face. "Wait… Are you asking me for advice because I’m a half-elf?" Laios runs with it "Yes!! And because you’re so savvy with romance and what people like…? If, uh, if you were a half-elf, what would you like to get as a gift? What sort of confession would you want?" "… You saved it there. Okay so since I’m so knowledgeable on romance, tell me what is she like?" "-describes Marcille-" She nods, smug yet oblivious. "Aah I can already tell we’d be great friends. Good taste." (then Thinking bubble with him giving her flowers at a restaurant "Did you know roses are edible and used in recipes", candlelit dinner, or wait maybe the most romantic is cooking together alone at home, chocolate! It’s expensive though… Wait I’m king now!)

Lil comic, Laios wakes up snuggled against Marcille’s back then promptly falls off the bed. The noise makes Marcille wake up and she’s like omg are u ok?? Laios is so sweaty and panicked and in denial about her being special to him. She explains, disgruntled at the memory "Izutsumi is bunking in with Chilchuck again, they’re taking the whole bedrolls." Pause. "Sorry, I should have told you, but you like sleeping with Izutsumi too so I figured…" She looked sheepish. "Between you and Senshi, I much prefer sleeping with you. It feels sort of nostalgic, like a sleepover, no?" He relaxes and gets in the bed again, smiling. "But… We’ve never had a sleepover?" She chuckles "I guess not. I must be getting that impression because of Falin…" And the air between them is warm yet bittersweet now, as she smiles like that and his eyes and smile cloud over. The earlier instinctive reluctance to touch is gone now. She snuggles into his arms and is like "Hug me?" "Okay." And he does, wraps his arms around her and tucks his chin over her head.

Post canon, marcille takes him to a squid restaurant. Cute lighthearted hehe. He sulks "If there are any parasites in this I will ban squid from this kingdom or so help me…"

Short post canon fluff marcille pov about laios gaining weight n becoming chubby. She used to dream of chiseled abs and angular elves, laios in every way, shape and form is so far from the beauty standards she idealized so. And yet… She loves how soft sleeping against him is, how much there’s more of him for her to hug and nuzzle her face in. She loves seeing him and seeing someone strong, who isn’t malnourished or underweight, someone healthy with color in their skin. An healthy appetite. He used to look more like a rectangle, severe and strict, but now he looked rounder, and seeing him smile at her always made her feel like that roundness suited him. She smiled back, and melted thinking about how her boyfriend was the sweetest in the world. ^I still wanna do this one really bad. Sometimes a fic premise comes from nowhere and puts you in a chokehold and you must finish it to obtain catharsis

Short oneshot about laios musing about Marcille’s smile, how important it is to him in subtle ways etc: Ends with Laios being like wait there’s something off (succubus). Then he grabbed her throat. Or smth

Laios seeing her dungeon like "this is so wrong Marcille you can’t run a dungeon for shit" and also "WHAT ARE THESE HORRORS OF MONSTERS NOO THEY CAN’T BE EFFECTIVE LIKE THAT"

Dinner for two: Very warm. Marcille and Laios are meeting up and cooking a dinner just for them both, no one else is there. They’re being so domestic and it’s light. Laios pauses at some point, doing the dishes, saying… I’ve always worried, thinking doing things like these would remind me of my parents.

Laios doesn’t know what to do when he realizes he actually *likes* likes Marcille, so he avoids her. Everyone notices and is disapproving of him.

Her mana acts up and she shares her dream with someone, kinda like with Izutsumi. Listen the premise could be smutty but I think it’d be more fun if they just hanged out n were silly, like the nightmares chapter without the nightmare

Laimar pining but from the view of Chilchuck, his love hatred sensing a storm brewing. The giggling, the looks. Ugh! It reminded him of himself and his wife when they were young and newly dating.

I love Laios and Izu being worsties so. Laios sees izutsumi rubbing her scent on marcille’s clothes and gets possessive. Maybe Golden Kingdom maybe something else I have no clue but Laios being ridiculous and cheek rubbing or something <3

I might want to do an AU where Laios gets into werebeast ring fighting, before canon and the split happens after he deserts the military. So he’s alone, has nothing going for him and stumbles into that sphere and gets werebeast tattoos done. It doesn’t make him happier at all and fighting sucks actually, but it brings money and he likes being a beast and being cheered by a crowd aka illusion of being liked, and money brings food and eating is the privilege of the living etc etc. So then when he goes to check on Falin at the academy it’s a big AU where he has a whole other reputation and look to him, and when he meets izutsumi their relationship is different and aaaaaa… He’s freeer in this au, lets himself be animalistic and weird, even though ofc the arc is him letting himself be more human as well and connecting with humans, through talking and infodumping n shit. Oh I went off but the laimar is because it’s inspired by cool laimar art here (warning tho it’s an art dump with toudencest also 😔) but werewolf Laios laimar AUs… A lotta fun stuff there idk idk

#Laimar #ask #Ppl can send me laimar asks tbh idk when i’d get to them but i do still love them #Not all that much left i wanna explore analysis or post wise with them though #Laios touden #marcille donato #Fanfic wips #Dungeon meshi #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers

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world-fire-entity · 1 month

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I like how a lot of people’s designs for John is

Yellow bad boy halo

#I’m sorry #no context #malevolent #malevolent podcast #dream smp #badboyhalo #I’m gone #I don’t wanna be here anymore #mcyt #posting my drafts from 5 months ago

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sjhhemmings · 15 days

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Betrayal

Colby Brock x Fem!Reader

a/n: genre switch??? sorry to my normal followers we have some new content in town. we love trying new things. right? enjoy lol?

a/n but updated: GUYS, I wrote this like 6 months ago in the midst of my Colby obsession. I left it to rot in my drafts not even finished, but as I decided to take a peak in the dungeon of my WIPs, I found this surprisingly well written piece of literature. I finished the end (the last two paragraphs) like 5 minutes ago as I impulsively decided I would post this! sorry if it sucks with the rest of the story, i tried lol. please enjoy!

warnings: ANGST. lying, betrayal (obvi), your heart will be shattered, swearing, bad grammar, no happy ending :/, anything i missed.

“Hey Baby,” Colby says lying down and laying his head gently on your shoulder.

“Hi,” You say quietly as you continue scrolling on your phone.

Subconsciously your free hand moved up to Colby’s hair lightly playing with it.

“What do you want for dinner?” He asks taking said hand and pressing soft kisses to your knuckles.

“Hmm. Whatever you want.” You say yawning and putting your phone down.

You switch positions to lay on your side, now face to face with Colby on the bed.

Colby brought his free hand up to cup your cheek and press a few pecks to your lips, then eventually deepening the last one. Opening your mouth to grant his tongue access you eventually giggle at how heated this moment has become. Breaking the kiss and making dead eye contact with Colby, you had no control over what came out of your mouth next.

“I hope you know, I love you so much Colby.” You whisper switching your focus from his eyes to his lips a few times before finally settling on eye contact.

Smiling at your confession, Colby kisses you deeply again before breaking away.

“You suck at helping decide dinner you know that right?” He says back teasingly. Immediately making your heart drop, clearing your throat slightly and putting on your softest smile despite the aching in your chest, you give him a quick peck.

Yeah, you guys have only been dating for 5 months, but you felt like it was time. For you anyway, so you don’t regret telling him. But you might give him some time before saying anything again. Turning over to grab your phone you shake off the sad feeling as you glance over to Colby. Who is not so subtly staring at you making you slightly smile.

“Still thinking about dinner?” You ask making him flash a small smile.

“Chinese?” He finally asks earning a nod from you.

The next day Colby and Sam were out on an investigation so you were home alone with Kat.

“Do you know if the boys will be home in time for Dinner?” Kat asked you to which you shrugged.

“Colby hasn’t messaged me back all day. I don’t think they have service, so I don’t know.” You say looking at the girl across the kitchen island.

“That’s odd, Sam’s been texting me?” Kat says making an uneasy feeling spread throughout your body.

Picking up on the shift in your behavior, Kat grabs your hand over the table and squeezes it reassuringly, “Hey, I’m sure everything is fine. He probably just hasn’t been on his phone much.”

“You’re right. Should we just order in?”

“Sounds great.”

About an hour later the boys ended up coming home surprising both you and Kat. Well mainly just Kat.

“Hi Baby,” Sam greeted his girlfriend with a large bouquet of flowers.

“Hi- Oh my gosh! These are beautiful Sam! Thank you so much.” Kat says hugging him and taking her flowers.

“Anything for you Hun.” Sam says then walking with her to the kitchen.

Your heart warmed at the sight. Nervous at what Colby could’ve brought you, you sit patiently on the couch.

“Hey, oh Y/N, you’re still here.” Colby said walking in only glancing up briefly from his phone.

Noticing the lack of flowers in Colby’s hands a pang of sadness and jealousy hits you. Sam got Kat flowers but Colby didn’t get you anything. But he doesn’t have to get you flowers. It’s not like he owes them to you, today could be an anniversary or something for Sam and Kat, so shoving the feelings aside you give a small smile and run a hand through your hair.

“Yeah, sorry I figured I would stay. I can go though,” You say a little disappointedly and standing up.

“No, no, you don’t have to leave. It was just a surprise.” He said giving you a small smile and a hug.

“Okay, yeah, sorry. I was just thinking i’d stay since when you usually leave you’d tell me it’s fine. I guess this morning when you didn’t, I should’ve taken the hint.” You say chuckling slightly as you guys break from the hug.

Not really disagreeing with your point, you both stand in somewhat of an awkward silence.

“The uh, the flowers Sam got for Kat, those were beautiful.” You say trying to make conversation to which he just nods.

Picking up on the uncomfortable tension between the two of you, you roll your lips anxiously.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to leave?” You finally ask.

Rubbing his jaw out of irritation you take that as a sign to just go.

“No, Y/N wait. If this is about the flowers or whatever, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were still going to be here otherwise I would’ve gotten you some.” He said grabbing your hand to stop you.

Turning to face him you sigh. “I mean I get that, I’m not mad. I just feel, unwelcome I guess. I did text you earlier saying I was still here, but I got no response, so I just- I don’t know.” You finally say crossing your arms over your chest.

Taking out his phone to check and see if you texted him his face drops in realization that he had you on delivered for at least 5 hours.

“Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t see your message, that’s on me. But we didn’t have service and that’s probably-”

“Kat said Sam was texting her all day.”

After your interruption the both of you just stand and stare at each other.

Chuckling and rolling his eyes Colby spoke up, “Okay, I don’t understand why you’re attacking me right now! I didn’t get your message, and I already said sorry for not getting you flowers. I don’t know what else you want from me, Y/N.” He exclaimed frustratingly making you look at him with wide eyes.

“Colby, the last thing I’m doing right now is attacking you... I’m just gonna go home.”You say walking away to which he just laughs out of frustration again.

“Yeah, go! I’m trying to stand here and have a conversation with you, but you won’t even give me the time of day to explain myself! Fucking childish.” He says causing you to stop in your tracks.

“I’m the one not giving you the time of day? I’m the one acting childish? Who’s the one shouting right now?” You ask to which he just stares at you.

“You know what, I’m not fighting with you. I hope you had a good investigation, text me when you’re ready to talk to me like an adult.” You say rolling your eyes and leaving the house.

“Hey bro, what was that about?” Sam asks as he walks out of the kitchen with his dinner.

“We uh, It’s nothing.” Colby says looking at his best friend. “Where’d you get Chipotle?” He asked as he noticed Kat had some too.

“Oh, Y/N ordered it for all of us. Wouldn’t even let me look at the bill to help pay, where’s she at her food is getting cold?” Kat asks as she takes a bite of her burrito.

“She just left.” Colby said feeling like a complete douche.

“Yikes. Did you tell her yet?” Sam asked earning wide eyes from Colby.

“Uh, no. Not yet.” Colby said with his voice laced in guilt.

“Tell her what?” Kat asked from the couch.

“You know the whole, thing.” Sam said reminding Kat to which her jaw drops.

“You haven’t told her yet? Colby what the fuck!? It’s been like 5 months!” Kat exclaims.

“Yeah, I know how long it’s been.” He says looking at his feet.

“So you’re telling me, this whole time, she’s been clueless?” Kat asks finally getting up to face the man.

When she got no response Sam gave her a warning look to which she scoffed.

“Sam, no. Colby, I thought she knew. You said it wasn’t going to go on longer than a week, then you were going to tell her the truth and whatever developed past that point is natural.” Kat scolded.

“Yes I fucking know what I said Kat. Thanks for the reminder.” Colby said looking at the girl in the eyes for first time.

“Well you’re welcome, cause it seems like you fucking forgot. You know what, either you tell her or I will. I’m not going to let my friend continue living a lie. At this point since I’ve technically fucking known this whole time I’d be lucky if she still kept in touch with me.” Kat says freaking out.

“Kat, babe, just calm down it’ll be fine.” Sam said approaching his girlfriend softly.

“Sam, get away from me. Colby if I lose a friend because of you, oh my god, I’m so fucking pissed. You know what, Colby you have 3 days. Tell her or I will.” Kat threatened, leaving to go upstairs.

“I, I mean she has a point…” Sam says inching to follow his girlfriend.

Looking at his friend with red rimmed eyes from the tears starting to pool, Colby nods slowly.

“It wasn’t supposed to get the deep, man.” Colby whispered to his friend.

“I know brother, I know.” Sam said squeezing his friends shoulder reassuringly and walking away.

Two days later you feel like you’re about to start crawling up the walls. You’ve been home, alone, waiting for Colby to text you. Which he hasn’t. You’re honestly about to resort to chucking your phone against the wall with how often you’ve checked it to make sure you didn’t miss a message.

You’ve seen the parties that were thrown the last two nights at Sam and Colby’s. You’ve seen the snapchat and instagram stories, the attractive photos posted of Colby by almost every woman in attendance. You’ve seen your friends all there. Yet you’ve received absolutely no invitations.

It’s like you’ve gone completely MIA off the face of the earth and no one has cared. You’ve been living in your bed for the last 48 hours and the only message you’ve got was from your mother. But that was a random meme of a dog. So does it really count?

Keeping up with your stubborn facade, you decided to be petty. Because honestly, fuck everyone. As you were tapping through everyone’s instagram stories, you noticed a ‘friends only’ post from Zach Justice.

It was a picture of him and Jared saying, “Guest cancelled last minute, anyone wanna be on the Pod?” Posted, 3 minutes ago. Talk about perfect timing.

Chuckling at the desperation you slid up and said, “I can be there in 5.” Knowing you really can’t, it’s the thought that counts right?

Not even 2 minutes later, Zach responds immediately. “You’re in.”

“Welcome back to The Dropouts podcast, this is episode 185 and today we have Y/N Y/L/N.” Zach introduces you to which you say a quick hello into the mic.

“Yeah, so, we actually had a guest that was a lot cooler than Y/N lined up. But obviously, since Y/N is here, they cancelled.” Zach said disappointedly.

“Sorry I’m a good friend to those in need?” You say back with a glare.

“Yeah well, when you slide up on an instagram story saying, ‘I can be there in 5’ and then you don’t show up until an hour later makes me not so appreciative of your helpfulness.” Zach says in his witty sarcastic way.

“Oh, I can leave if you want.” You offer earning an eye roll.

“Well, I thank you Y/N since Zach over here is being a baby.” Jared says making Zach gasp.

“Thank you, Jared.”

“Okay, Y/N, since you took an hour to show up I’m assuming in that time you were either getting ready or you just suck at driving, because if you say you’re going to be here in 5 and it takes an hour to show up, something is definitely wrong with you.” Zach points out.

“I was in fact getting ready, because when you posted that instagram story I was wallowing in bed. Also, It’s about a 15 minute drive from my house so that contributes to my lateness.”

“But you said you could be here in 5. I’m assuming that meant 5 minutes, but you really lied because it’s at least a 15 minute drive. Wow, ladies and gents here we have Y/N the pathological liar!” He says clapping.

“Get over it, Justice.” You said with fake annoyance.

“Hm, so what 60 subtract 15, well 20, because generosity, that left you with 40 minutes to get ready and this is what you came up with?” He said judging your outfit.

“What? What’s wrong with it?”

“You’re wearing, biker shorts, a black xplr sweatshirt, and doc martens. What’s not wrong with it? Did you even shave your legs to wear shorts?” He asks making you gasp.

“Uh, yes I did. Last night.” You say to which he obviously doesn’t really believe you, so with a split second of impulsivity and a slight hope that this makes Colby jealous you kick your leg over the arm rest over to Zach’s direction.

“Feel.” You say at the same time, to which he feels your shin with his index finger.

“Okay, so she really does have super smooth legs, you got me there.” He admits in a disappointment.

“Ok, so, Y/N we’re friends right?” Zach asks making you shake your head no.

“Well, you’re a tik tok and Youtube star with a whopping 10 million on Tik tok and oh, 7 million on youtube. Everyone Boo her.” Zach said looking at his notes.

“I don’t really measure my success if followers and subscribers as much as I do the engagement with my videos, which if I may brag, never fail.”

“May I ask the percentage?” Jared pipes in.

“Yeah, so my tik toks get about 75-85% engagement from my followers every video, and then the rest is from just going viral and all of those for you page anylitics. My average views on each video range from 1-4 million, not including my super viral ones. Then youtube I get 95-100% engagement from purely followers and then on the other side of like discoverability it’s about 70-80%. So I’d like to think I’m successful, despite my numbers not being high in your eyes Zach.” You boast making them leave their jaws on the floor.

“What the fuck is your content bro?” Zach asked making you laugh.

“Authentic.” Is all you say to which Zach boo’s.

“Okay, moving on to the only thing people like you for, you’re dating Colby Brock.” Zach says only for the camera. He’s actually pretty sweet behind the scenes, and you guys have had an actual conversation talking about how you don’t want to be known as ‘Colby Brock’s Girlfriend’, you still want to be ‘Y/N.’

“I guess.” You say sarcastically making him squint.

“No hunny, it’s not a guess that’s the only reason people like you.” He says clearing what could’ve made the fight you’re currently in with Colby that much worse.

Sucking up whatever hard feelings you have for him, you remind yourself that you are in love with him. It’s not like you guys won’t come out on the other side of this, it’s just a small fight.

“I mean, if I had a douche for a boyfriend then maybe I would be upset at that, but Colby’s sweet. He’s a hard worker, he’s respectable, and I am extremely lucky to call him mine.” You say truthfully earning an eye roll.

“Yeah, yeah. You just want people to like you for being nice now.” Zach huffs making you laugh.

“I personally think of Colby as Y/N’s boyfriend, not Y/N as Colby’s girlfriend.” Jared adds making you cackle.

“Jared no one likes a brown noser.” Zach insults making you still laugh.

“Uh read us your last message with him.” Zach says out of no where.

“No.” You then respond flatly.

“Quick with it. What are you hiding?” Zach asks.

“Nothing, that’s just our personal business.” You say chuckling.

“Okay, c’mon, just a small little part of it.” Jared begs.

“I thought you were on my side in this!?” You ask making him shrug.

Sighing and pulling out your phone, you could settle for some actual attention from Colby and if this is how you get it, then there you go.

Opening up your messages you realize since arriving at Zach’s you’ve completely forgot about constantly checking your phone for texts. So now that you’re properly looking through your messages you notice that Colby did in fact text you. Multiple times. The messages however, were not something you wanted to read on a podcast.

Making your heart suddenly drop, a horrible feeling spread throughout your body. Anxiety ridden shaky hands click on the message as you read it.

Colby: Hey I’m sorry can we talk? sent 30 minutes ago.

Colby: Can you come over? it’s important. sent 25 minutes ago.

Colby: Baby, please. 15 minutes ago.

Colby: Please, if you’ve heard anything from anyone, don’t believe it until you talk to me. sent 10 minutes ago.

Colby: I’m coming over. sent 3 minutes ago.

Completely forgetting about your audience, Zach and Jared let about a minute pass before they get your attention again.

“Earth to Y/N, you good?” Zach asks genuinely.

Clearing your throat you quickly close your phone and look at Zach. Noticing your flushed face and glossy eyes, Zach looks at one of the producers to turn off the cameras.

“Hey, we’re off air, you good?” He asks again to which you shake your head.

“Okay, um, everyone clear out we’ll be back in 10.” Zach says clearing the room out so just the two of you are alone.

Pulling out your phone, you show the most recent texts to Zach as you notice his face also dropping.

“Oh I’m sorry.” Is all he says as he hands your phone back to you.

“If you need to leave, you can. No worries.” Zach offers as you shake your head.

“No, we can finish and then I’ll leave. I just, I swear to god if he’s cheated on me I’m going to freak the fuck out.” You whisper earning a nod from Zach.

“If you need anything, I’m there okay?” He says making you give him a small smile.

“Hey, can we keep this between us? I just don’t know literally anything yet and I know I can trust you, just please?” You beg.

“My lips are sealed.”

Texting Colby back quickly you ditch your phone again and resume the podcast.

The text read:

Me: I’m busy. Go home and I’ll be there later.

Once you finished the Podcast scratching anything they’ve mentioned of Colby, it took about two more hours to finish.

You get in your car and start driving but you can’t bring yourself to truly go to your destination. So you drive aimlessly around L.A. for about another 45 minutes before you somehow end up in Sam and Colby’s driveway.

Not even feeling anger anymore, you just feel pure disappointment and dread as you approach the door. Knocking three times you stand and wait.

“Y/N,” is all Colby says as he opens the door for you.

Greeting him with a tight lipped smile he moves out of the way and gestures for you to walk in.

Going straight for the couch you notice the camera set up and you’re immediately hit with a wave of confusion.

“Do you need a drink?” Colby asks to which you shake your head.

“What’s with the camera?” You ask cutting straight to the point.

“I uh, can we have it on when I talk to you?”

“What the fuck? No? I don’t really feel like our business needs to be filmed.” You say looking at him.

Staying silent he walks over to the couch and waits for you to follow.

Leaving a good distance between the two of you, you sit a stare straight ahead.

“Y/N, I totally get why you don’t want the camera on, but when I explain this it’ll all make sense. You don’t even have to talk. Just let me film, please.” He begs making you laugh.

“The fucking audacity, Brock. What the fuck ever, do whatever you want.” You scoff and cross your arms as you lean against the back of the couch.

You’d honestly be surprised if steam wasn’t physically coming out of your ears with the pure rage you felt as you watched Colby turn the camera on and sit back down. Avoiding your gaze completely.

“Hey guys, It’s Colby and with me I have Y/N.” Taking a deep breath before he continues, you notice the tears pooling in his eyes.

“I need to put a disclaimer and say what I did was beyond classified as a joke, or prank, and looking back on my actions and this idea in general, It was a complete and utter mistake. I guess the only reason i’ve continued, was that i’ve gotten so deep into this I realized I would rather release this as evidence showing what not to do, rather than create this and show it off as a new trend.”

Completely confused at his confession to the camera your breath hitched in your throat as you realized what he did. Denying your thoughts and telling yourself not to think it until those words come out of his mouth, you notice you can’t exactly breathe.

“5 months ago, I was drinking. I was with a group of friends and they brought up this idea for a prank. Selfishly, I took it and ran with it. I created this whole timeline that should’ve only lasted a week. I was going to record updates every day, but I noticed it was taking longer than I initially…expected. Now five months later, it’s time to come clean.”

Staying silent throughout his background you place a hand over your mouth as the pieces start clicking together in your mind.

“The ‘prank’ or idea, was to see how long it would take to get a girl to fall in love with me.” Pausing he ran a hand through his hair.

“The only thing is, I didn’t realize I would fall in love too.” He finally confesses making you break.

Turning away from you, he wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to calm himself down.

“Colby. Look at me.” You finally muttered

Hesitantly turning around he looked into your fragile eyes with his full of regret and guilt.

“Turn the fucking camera off.” You threaten and without missing a beat he does.

Standing up yourself as he sits back down, you begin pacing as you digest whatever the fuck he just said.

“So this was all a lie?” You finally asked to which he nodded.

“And you thought, the best way to tell me the truth, the truth being that the last five months of us dating was a lie. Was to sit me down with a camera between us and tell your followers at the same time? You weren’t even going to give me the time of fucking day to process without an audience!?” You finally shout the last sentence making him stand up.

“Y/N, no, please just listen to me. I want to explain everything, I need to tell you the truth. From the beginning.” He begs making you fill even more with rage.

“Why should I fucking listen to you!? The last 5 months was a complete lie. That is so fucked up Colby…” Trailing off, a realization hits you making you gasp.

“How many people knew?” You finally whispered making him drop his head.

“How many people knew Colby!?”

“I-”

“Sam?” to which he responds with a nod.

“Kat?” to which he responds with another nod.

“Jake? Tara? Zach? Out of all of our mutual friends, who all fucking knew Colby!? Who knew!?” You scream cry at the man who just stood there and took it.

“I love you.” Is all he says making you scoff.

“And I loved you,” You finally say walking out of the living room.

“Please, Y/N, let me explain!” He begs

Ignoring his protests you walk straight out of the house and to your car. Pulling out of his driveway, you mercilessly drive away as Colby chases you begging you to stay.

Feeling like a bull that someone antagonized with a red flag, you watch Colby from the rearview mirror leaving any and all feelings you had for him back at the house as you drive into the sunset.

#sam and colby #colby brock #colby x reader #zach justice #dropouts podcast #angst with no happy ending #angst #youtube

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fanficonly · 5 months

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Wenclair- Enid's playlist for Wednesday- "Hit Play on Her"

@sayum2510 Looking through my drafts I found one I conjured up from your ask months ago, not sure where I was going with it so it's kind of just little wenclair moments based on your wenclair songs you mentioned.

In case you're still interested I've decided to tweak and post the lil one shot so ... Hope you enjoy 😋

Enid had tried.

Tried so desperately to hide the feelings she had for Wednesday.

She really had.

But she knew it wasn't long before the Seer caught onto the way Enid would trip over her tongue whenever Wednesday dressed up. Or the way she reaches for her and only her in any dier situation. Or the way she rambles juuuust a little bit more often when talking to the Ravenette than with others.

It had happened again just now. Wednesday had left for a family event, one that Enid had declined the invitation for after learning there was a lot of death, spirits and séances involved. As much as it pained Enid not to blindly follow Wednesday into another tragedy filled night she had to say no because she knew all of the Addams' would be there. And she was sure as hell she couldn't hide her feelings from such an intelligent family. As much as Wednesday was dense when it came to social cues, relationships and love...her family were far more well versed in such feelings.

With Wednesday, she could play it off as her being quirky because, of course Wednesday wasn't great at picking up hints. But observation in general Wednesday was an expert in. So all it would take is a little interest and she would eventually come to the conclusion that Enid is hopelessly in love with her. Whereas with Wednesday's Mother and Father and Brother and honestly anyone with Addams blood, they could sniff out her attraction to Wednesday better than she could sniff out a squirrel that was 5 metres away.

Only moments ago Enid was hit with the harsh reality of how desperately attracted to Wednesday she was when she heard the harmonious voice.

"I'm leaving Enid" she states bluntly and Enid looks up from her laptop, her jaw dropping as she stared at her best friend in pure shock. Mouth agape, practically drooling as her eyes trailed up Wednesday body which fit nicely into a lacy black cropped dress, fishnets and a pair of overly large combat boots. As she trailed her eyes to Wednesday eyes she took a moment to admire her usual gothic make up and hypnotic stare. Enid's kryptonite.

"What are you looking at? Did the dry cleaners miss a blood spot" she inspected her outfit, spinning in stiff circles, as if teasing Enid with more to gawked at.

"No no" Enid jumped up from her bed blinking her eyes out of thier hypnotic state and stumbling over her feet to stand parallel to Wednesday. "Just wow Wednesday you look- just- your beau- the ummm I like-" she rose her hand to her mouth and cleared her throat "the dress it's cute" she let out a quick breath, and a growl lightly erupted from her throat at her own awkwardness.

"Cute? That was not really my intention, I was going more for sacrificial altar offering " Wednesday deadpanned. But Enid just giggled and ran her eyes up and down Wednesdays body checking her out in plain view once again.

"Are you sure you do not wish to accompany me?" Wednesday noticed Enid's prying eyes and tilted her head quizzically. Clearly misjudging Enid's staring as wishing for a 2nd invitation rather than the shameless pining that it was.

"N-no It's fine I'll come to the next one" Enid babbled out, smiling nervously and recieving a slight nod from Wednesday as she turned to leave.

"Your loss" Wednesday had smirked over her shoulder at Enid before leaving the room and of course the blonde almost melted at the sight. "Urghhh" she let out a frustrated grunt of annoyance, trying to force the feelings away and failing miserably. So Enid did what she did best and resorted to laying face down on her bed, headphones on and blasting enough music to numb her brain.

And when of course this didn't work Enid scrolled through her Spotify and hovered her thumb over her favourite playlist. The one she had made the day after meeting Wednesday, the one she continuously added songs to that reminded her of the dark goddess of a girl that she so desperately yearned for, the one she added songs to everyday since.

She let out another low growl before hitting play on her Wednesday playlist simply titled "Her".

🎶But I can't help myself when you get close to me🎶 Enid's mind drifted. God Wednesday made her feel so painfully in love

🎶Baby my tongue goes numb goes like bleh bleh blee🎶 that's exactly how she sounded everytime She looked at the pale goddess and tried to form a sentence. She sighed and let the music take control of her, swaying to the melody and feeling every word that was sung

🎶Looking at you got me feeling nauseous🎶

... She smiled

🎶OOO it feels so good I HAD TO CHANGE THE OCTIVE🎶

Enid belted out the tune, images of Wednesday plaguing her thoughts as she did. Nonsense by Sabrina Carpenter was extremely fitting for the way she had just felt about Wednesday looking at her and she let the songs play. It was merely a way to comfort herself knowing that she was not the only person who had these kind of feelings.

And you know, yelling out her feelings was very therapeutic, it's not like she can just tell Wednesday she's in love with her, Imagine!

...

After a while Enid tried to keep herself busy in order to stop her mind from wandering to impure thoughts of her best friend in that dress (or rather out of it). She had found herself cleaning their dorm room, finishing her homework, writing on her blog,going for a walk, and even hanging out with her friends until midnight, anticipating seeing Wednesday upon her return.

But she wasn't there.

Enid sighed and fell back on her bed, pursing her lips and tapping her fingers, anxiously waiting. Eventually nothing could stop her, the ache of wanting Wednesday too strong to ignore and of course she then picked up her headphones and hit shuffle on "Her".

Mommy issues by cloudy June immediately starts playing and Enid is almost annoyed by how accurate her playlist was getting.

The blonde stands this time, jittery with anticipation as the lyrics purred in her ears 🎶You're good at masquerading the second that you came in, face straight but legs are shaking🎶 Enid sighed knowing full well these words were more directed towards Enid herself when it came to Wednesday. Of course, she had to put on a smile every time Wednesday made her feel flustered, acting like her body wasn't screaming at her while she had to remain straight-faced, or at least her usual friendly smile rather than obviously swooning over the girl.

That didn't stop Enid from getting into the song, blurring her thoughts and letting the music sink into her mind like a ship on treacherous waters.

Enid danced around the room aimlessly singing "When I call the shots you call me-" as she spins around she stops dead and

"Mommy" she squeaks out the last word, inadvertently and she turns to see Wednesday entering their shared dorm, slightly dishevelled but still in that tantalising outfit.

"What did you just call me?" Wednesday quirks an eyebrow up and stares at Enid, gripping her clutch purse Infront of her and awaiting a response

"Ahhh umm no the umm" Enid throws her headphones off and dashes her phone on the bed awkwardly along with the headphones. Like a guilty child getting caught stealing candy from the kitchen cupboards

She blushes profusely and stutters out "It was the s-song" in a poor explanation

Wednesday's brain practically buzzes with questions and ways on how to respond before landing on "Interesting choice of song Enid" and walking over to her side of the room as if nothing had happened. She hears an audible sigh from Enid and side eyes her. This wasn't the first time she had been suspicious of Enid but she had just endured a formidable amount of affection from her family, her battery was drained, so she decided against pressuring Enid into teaching her.

Enid however felt like she wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole! God what must Wednesday be thinking right now.

...

Later on in the week the moment had been fading from each of their memories and the days returned to normal

Enid smirked at Wednesday.

"Come on Wednesday what did we talk about?" Enid scolds Wednesday but the juxtaposition of the smile it was paired with told the girl that she wasn't really in that much trouble.

The Addams girl huff's in annoyance, her facial expression barely changes as walks away from the situation and tracks swiftly back to her room.

Enid blindly follows after her, all the while skipping happily and relishing in that little power she had over Wednesday. One she knew didn't last long when it came to other Activities the two would part-take in.

"This preposterous idea that I would have even a miniscule interest in this activity must really mean you have finally succumb to the illusion that I will change Enid" Wednesday scolds back.

"And yet here you are" Enid's smirk has a giddy twinge to it as she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively saying "Aren't you?"

She skips away, throwing her headphones on and pressing play on her favourite playlist titled "Her", scrolling through Spotify and finding yet another song to add to it.

At this point her Wednesday's playlist was becoming an unhealthy addiction but hey what can you do. Wednesday made her feel things that she just couldn't say out loud so surely singing them was the next best thing.

...

It was 4 am and Enid could hear it the consistent rumble of howls that plagued the night air. Everyone was out, all of the wolves screaming at the moon with pure heart and Enid was again alone in bed.

She hadn't turned since the hyde attack. Her therapist told her it was a mental block due to the traumatic events that transpired but she wasn't sure.

A large HOWL could be heard this time much closer. Which caused Enid to curiously lift her head off of her pillow and squint her eyes out of the room window.

It was Wednesday? Enid crept up to the window and admired her from afar. With each distant howl she watched the seer howl back and subtly smile to herself as she did. What the hell?

The werewolf climbed out the window quietly and spoke

"Wednesday what are you doing?" While remaining a fair distance away from her crush.

Wednesday barely flinched at the sudden presence of her best friend and spoke unfiltered

"Confusing the other wolves of course, It's one of my favourite games I've played it ever since I was a kid" Wednesday seemed rather dazed as she thought back to the memory and then snapped back to reality to see Enid's eyes in pure shock and awe

Wednesday cleared her throat "My apologies I am not sure why I shared that information with you".

"It's okay to share Wednesday I told you you could tell me anything" Enid walked slowly towards Wednesday "Pretty cool game" she observes standing by Wednesday's side, not daring to make eye contact just yet.

She slowly turned to look at Wednesday hoping this vulnerable openness wouldn't end so soon but as Wednesday looked at her, Enid saw something in her face change.

"Yes, well I did not mean to cause you any discomfort" Wednesday seems almost guilty as she averts her gaze away from the wolf's eyes.

"Why would that cause me-" Enid began but then it clicked "Oh ..." She looked away shamefully "Because I can't turn into a wolf" she sighed lightly

"Yes" Wednesday said, oblivious at first to Enid's sadness. She stayed silent her eyes scanning the glorious view from their balcony before her eyes landed on Enid and she finally noticed how upset she was.

Wednesday seemed to internally panic, unaware of the proper protocol in these situations. Usually she would not care but something about the way Enid's pleading eyes bore into her soul caused a spark to go off, jumpstarting her insides.

"Just because you cannot transform does not mean you cannot howl" Wednesday's lip twitched.

"Wednesday no it just makes me feel-" she began to protest but Wednesday simply raised her hand to halt her words

"Okay but you like games don't you Enid?" She asked earning a slight submissive nod from the werewolf girl "Then let's play my game" Wednesday smirked.

"Wednesday" Enid groaned out, tilting her head to sigh at the sky

"Enid" Wednesday simply retorted before continuing as if Enid had not rejected her proposition.

"It's very simple really, whenever you hear a howl you reciprocate and then revel in the satisfaction of knowing there is a wolf out there confused by the sound, chasing its tail looking for a strange sounding wolf" Wednesday eyes beamed with wicked delight as she explained the rules.

"That's pretty Evil Addams, you don't even get to see them all confused what's the point" Enid couldn't help but giggle a little bit, what an odd 'Game'.

"No but I know they are and that is enough, it is part of the enjoyment using my imagination" Wednesday shrugged slightly.

Just as she said this another distant howl could be heard in the distance and Wednesday looked at Enid expectantly.

After no response Wednesday gripped the edges of the concrete wall in front of her and let out a monstrous howl, causing Enid's eyes to light up in pure adoration.

"How did I do?" Wednesday flicked her eyebrows up. It wasn't like her to request validation from someone but the Seer thought it would be a great honour to hear the opinion of the most vicious creature she had ever laid eyes on. Enid, of course, in her wolf form, jaw dripping with the blood of Wednesday's enemy, teeth bared with a look of pure bloodlust in her eyes... Wednesday had never felt so strongly towards her roommate than in that moment. So, who better to assess her howling abilities than the best there was in her eyes.

"You would make a good little wolf" Enid spoke, mesmerised by the sight in front of her. As she caught herself saying it she became nervous at Wednesday's reaction.

Her wolf became giddy when the response she was given was "Well you are a good little wolf" and Enid beamed with pure delight. That's the nicest thing Wednesday had ever said to her and was she being delusional in believing that it seemed even a little ... flirty?

Even as Wednesday said this, she was outwardly shocked by even her own words, her lips that seemed to be betraying what her mind would have told her to say instead

Enid was speechless, her legs almost caving in from beneath her as her mouth went dry all of a sudden at the sound of Wednesday's voice

Luckily another Howl rang out and Wednesday looked at Enid changing the subject rather quickly

"Your turn" She told her, nonchalantly.

Enid, still buzzing from the look in Wednesday's eyes as she called her a good little wolf, smirked playfully "Fine" she shook her head disapprovingly before letting out an almighty HOWLLLLLLL, without question.

She looked back at Wednesday expectantly who was lightly entranced by the sight. She cleared her throat

"Not terrible." She said as if she was grading an English paper "poor technique though" Wednesday looked away from her feeling rather deviant.

"Excuse me? Who is the wolf here!" Enid moved closer to Wednesday letting her know that she was very offended

"To the perception of a stranger in sure it would be hard to tell" Wednesday didn't look at her. She had to deflect after her little wolf mishap a moment ago

"What was wrong with it?" Enid asked voice a little cracked. Again something sparked in Wednesday... Did she feel guilty for making her feel bad? Of course she did it's Enid! She was just trying to be playful and cheer Enid up but it was so unnatural to her.

Do something!

"Here" Wednesday suddenly gripped the wolf's hips twisting her body lightly and Enid in utter shock from Wednesday's touch, let it happen. What was going on?

She gulped, as her heart rate quickened and Wednesday hands moved swiftly to each of Enid's hands and roughly placed each one on the balcony's edge, breaking the touch barrier between them haphazardly.

"What are you-" Enid finally managed to hoarsely conjure up words but she was immediately stopped as Wednesday slid her hand up to the Blondie's chin tilting her head away and slightly to the sky, keeping her fingers lingering for a few seconds too long. Enid's breath hitched in her throat and Wednesday noticed this furrowing her brow for a moment then brushing it off.

Wednesday stepped back and admired her handiwork then spoke assertively

"Now" she reached forward only to stop Enid from moving out of the position she was just expertly put into "Try again" she all but demanded.

Enid took a harsh breath in and out, extremely grateful that the cold night air prevented the flush of her cheeks from being so obvious and then she howled once again.

This time an earth shattering howl erupted from Enid's throat, causing even Wednesday to smile slightly at her triumph and again feel that uneasy spark of feeling that rose from within the depths of her darkened soul.

Enid panted for breath afterwards, the cold air evident, from the breath that could be seen clearly like fog rolling into a graveyard at midnight. It honestly, once again, captivated Wednesday and for the first time in forever ... She was speechless ... She was feeling.

Enid noticed and smiled proudly.

After a while of comfortable silence and occasional howling at the sky while stealing glances at each other, both girls retreated to the comfort and warmth of their beds.

Wednesday lay still, staring at the ceiling, contemplating everything that had just occured and Enid smiled widely into her pillow as she attempted to sleep.

But she just couldn't. She felt like they had a moment. The same feeling she felt gripping onto Wednesday for dear life after the school was attacked. The relief from finding out Wednesday was alive and the pain of having to let her go once again. Eventually, Enid resorted to "Her" after more than an hour of tossing and turning endlessly.

🎶She don't wanna be anybody else she's a women in total control of herself🎶 Enid smiled again humming in happiness as the line 🎶I swear I saw her howling at the sky, she ain't out to get you but she's better on your side🎶 rang through her ears and she happily let the image of Wednesday howling continuously burn into her brain.

Her blissful descent into slumber was interupted by Wednesday's voice

"You are aware that your headphones are not plugged aren't you?" She stood right beside Enid's bed startling the girl.

"Shit!" Enid whispered fumbling for her phone to turn it off. She will never get used to how silent Wednesday's footsteps were, it's as if the girl just glides everywhere.

"Interesting choice of song Enid" Wednesday smirked before retreating back to her bed to continue her own descent into a peaceful sleep.

As she laid there she watched as Enid avoided eye contact and flopped her head back onto her pillow, looking somewhat embarrassed.

And for the third time that night Wednesday's heart sparked and Enid's Beat rapidly.

#wenclair #enid sinclair #wenclair fanfic #wednesday addams #wednesday #wednesday x enid #wenclair one shot

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