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#putting a shit ton of tags so that like. idk if someones looking for this exact thing they can find it easy
haemosexuality · 9 months
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ive been seeing these posts for years compiling their outfits, but they only go up to the start of season 9 so i wanted to do the rest! so here's season 9, 10, some non-canon eps and obsidian (edit: now with fionna and cake too!)
[marceline's main comic outfits] [bonnie's main comic outfits] [marceline and the scream queens outfits]
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starlostseungmin · 23 days
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stray kids ─── as one direction songs.
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✰ pairing : non-idol!skz x afab!reader
✰ genre : fluff, angst, maybe suggestive?
✰ warnings : subtle mentions of sex and drugs, kissing, mentions of food and profanity. lmk if i missed smth.
✰ notes : uhm i really don't know what i wrote. this has been sitting on my drafts since november and thank god anon reminded me about it (i actually went on hiatus after minho's birthday last year so yeah) the songs i associated with skz members are just strongly my opinion mehehe i hope you guys like it, idk if you agree with me in regards with the songs but DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS after it! thank you so much <33
✰ tags : @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly
masterlist | taglist.
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chan ─── perfect
honorable mention: little things
you already know how fucked up your life is but ever since he came, those days became different. it is always the small gestures that one fails to notice in the blink of an eye. you are just going to be surprised by the time it is done or how you managed to get out of a small inconvenience. he loves you so much that he would put you first before anything else. 
chan is different from everyone else. maybe because he is labeled to be kind and so above average of doing the bare minimum which people seek from their partners. he’s perfect but he doesn’t think of it the same way. 
you tried to convince him a hundred times but all you got in response is him being a blushing mess and his giggle that makes your heart warm every time you hear it. a smile would tug on your lips that would make him stare at you, he’d bounce back on the things you said to him and you think about what did you do in your past life to deserve someone as perfect as him. 
“baby, you’re perfect,” you said for the nth time, “no, i’m not, but i’m perfect for you,” he winked. “that was smooth, chan,”
lee know ─── night changes
he might be the type to not show his feelings immediately but he’s the one who subtly shows them. it started slowly, he reassured you that everything would fall into place once you both could figure out what was going on with this relationship. 
but as long as you’re together, the love you and him shared will never change. although the process of this love story has made things go in different directions, the thought of having to stick together is essential. 
your parents didn’t like him at first, they had someone in mind and that wasn’t him and yet, you didn’t care even if your first date was a disaster and the next one after that, but that didn’t stop you. it took a while for your parents to finally accept him after tons of convincing them that he’s a great guy, but it succeeded later on. 
you had a place on your own and welcomed his cats to live with you when some of them were wild, that’s what you think. minho was a mess when you met him, but thanks to you, it’s not that bad anymore. 
changbin ─── temporary fix
honorable mention: i want to write you a song
changbin is the type to offer himself as someone you can lean on but it’s not always because of this friendship you have, but as a lover who wanted to make you feel better and forget about shit. 
temporary fix is not always meant to be a cover-up of something you’d open up again to allow another train of bullshits in your life. it felt like he was being sent from the heavens to look out for you, an angel whose sole mission is to make you happy, the same feeling like something that keeps you high. 
there’s this thing on changbin’s vibe that you don’t want to share with anybody else and he makes you feel things when you’re with him. even though this relationship sounds like a fling and a guy who sneaks into your dorm late at night to make out with you, well, it used to be. but you know changbin is so much more than that after a while. 
the phrase, “you can call me when you need me, you know?” whenever he sleeps with you is now in the trashbin the moment you settle to be someone to each other.
hyunjin ─── last first kiss 
remember the time when he said that he chose to be the last love instead of the first? exactly. being the last person to love is basically spending the rest of your life with him, even if he’s not your first kiss, not your first love, not your first in everything, it’s fine as long as he’ll be the one you’ll remember as your eternal love. 
hyunjin being fitted into this song is like a message that he wanted to convey to his love, a sentiment that would indicate how much he’d spend time and effort to stay by your side until the end of time. indeed, a hopeless romantic man he is. 
last first kiss is the very first song that reminds you of him, it is part of those memories you made with him. it was that time when he decided to take this relationship to the next level, yes, he did mention that he wanted to be your last, and by what he meant, an everlasting love. 
“let me be your last,” and when you heard him say that, you knew he was the man who fits perfectly into your broken puzzle that would mend the wound forever.
han ─── rock me
honorable mention: midnight memories
rock me suits him as well as midnight memories. but midnight memories have their effects on han, giving him the vibes of being a musician specializing in the rock genre. and as someone who loves to listen to almost every genre in the world, you fell in love with him after watching him busking by the streets. 
you were amazed by how talented he is. his fingers strummed that guitar well, and his voice? like an angel. one could say that he is a free-spirited human being who does whatever he wants and writes songs about some things that piqued his interest. 
then there’s you, a broken melody who longed for him to come back, the same goes for him who let you go. both of you thought that you were too young to be in love and jisung was better off alone but his songs were dedicated to your break up. you rocked his world when you came and left broken notes when it ended.
but he always believed that what you had back then, was real and that you’d always remember the love you had. 
felix ─── why don’t we go there 
honorable mention: kiss you
felix is someone who gets hyped easily whenever you’re with him. his bright smile, his funny reactions, and the unidentified sounds that came out of his mouth made him a fun guy to be with. it started with a fling that turned out to be something you didn’t want to rush but it is slowly beginning to have a label. 
having a relationship with him offered different dynamics. it is the way he grabs your hand when you both start to get caught by the waves crashing by the shore or how he felt when you kissed him for the first time. he is someone who can get dragged with you to whatever your plan is, a great ball of sunshine to your rainy days, someone that you don’t want to be the one that got away. 
he does think the same, especially the fact that he treasures you so much and it became an opportunity to love you more when you spend that one night together somewhere, alone. it was an invitation actually and it made you realize a lot of things. 
it is the way he looked at those stars with those dazzling eyes of his. the constellation plastered on his cheeks glowed along with them, it is what they call freckles, you love them as much as how felix felt for you. having him as a getaway made you don’t want to come back, ever again.
seungmin ─── no control
night changes was the first choice but then no control became the one for him, no control, because he is, a menace. he believed that being in love was something that gullible people would do and get hurt, maybe a few of them proved it to be valid and worth it, yet he isn’t convinced because it is just a waste of time. 
and yet, you came out of nowhere. it is the way he looks at you with those dazzling puppy eyes, the way he obeys the things you wanted him to do, and it gets worse when you share intimate affections. from a gentle puppy to a wild wolf. there’s something about you that drives him crazy every time. 
nothing matters to him when you’re around and he never felt this way before. he’d kiss you out of nowhere when you reached home with your back against the wall as your hands played with his hair. he gets weak and powerless, but gets hyped and rough which you get caught off guard every time. 
and he is very loyal, he always makes sure that no other will ever meet his interest. you don’t want to share, anyway and you got him down bad.
jeongin ─── summer love
honorable mention: fool's gold.
loving jeongin is like a breath of fresh air, the freedom that he finally held in his hands, and the time he can make up for himself to be with you. it was a reckless summer that you spent in your grandma’s place, away from the bustling city and this boy showed up on your doorsteps. 
it didn’t take a while that you immediately had this puppy love type of interest in each other. you started sneaking out in the middle of the night when your grandma was in her deep sleep, swimming together by the river across the small town on a random afternoon, sharing a kiss under an oak tree that tasted like your grandma’s apple pie, it was great. you didn’t want it to end. 
and just like any other summer, it did. you didn’t know if you would still have this continuous conversation when the school year starts since jeongin is miles away from where you live. 
you saw him sitting on one of those branches of the oak tree where you kissed for the first time, and there you promised not to lose each other even if the summer ended. you couldn’t believe that what you did for less than two months was this serious. it was hard to say goodbye, yet you hoped nothing would change after the last summer’s sunset.
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©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.
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ncteez · 2 years
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On Edge. (m.l)
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Dating the strict, well-liked, and loving Doyoung came with its hurdles. Normally, the two of you could communicate and work through the downsides, but what if the newest downside of the relationship is learning that his little brother, Mark, has a bit of a thing for you?
ao3 | m.list | minors dni !! | if you read it, reblog it. 
WORDCOUNT― 22.5k
PAIRING― mark lee x fem reader | doyoung�� x fem reader
CONTENT― doyoung is 27, reader is 25, mark is 22. boyfriend doyoung, perverted/shy college boy mark, panty stealing, hidden intimacy, needy mark, dom-ish doyoung in smaller/less detailed smut scenes, reader is definitely a switch depending on who she is looking at, uh, brief mention of haechan raging at mark through a headset while he gets pleasured lmao
WARNINGS― infidelity that doesn’t get exposed, foot job but only bc i can’t figure out how to write a scene like this if it’s not her foot lmao
NOTE― not me back at it again with the cheating fics. Idk, i have a thing for mark cucking but also hidden things, and the idea of having both of them :D no, i do not condone cheating..  shoutout to my wife and other ultimate mark fucker @mrkis​ for discussing and brainstorming this shit with me, also for editing it and fixing all of my embarrassing typos.
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags― infidelity,  rough doyoung, mark listens through the walls, tons of masturbation, he also steals panties and gets caught and embarrassed by reader, mentions of double penetration, lil under the table moment with mark, foot job but i swear im not into feet just hear me out ok? It’s brief i swear, sexting and phone sex, reach-around hand job, mark isn’t entirely subby when he finally gets his dick wet, penetration, pet names, g-spot stimulation, cream pie, unprotected sex, 
             The two years you’ve spent so far with Doyoung can arguably be considered the best of your life. He’s accommodating, listens to all of your problems, touches you in all of the right ways, and he’s even well-liked by your parents. You love your boyfriend enough to spend countless nights at his place just to get away from your own. It’s comfortable there, and feels like home, whereas your own apartment just feels empty without him. 
             The relationship felt very adult. He was the first boyfriend to stay with you longer than a couple of months, the first one to have his own house, job, money, and car. The two of you were equal, comfortable, and happily in love. Anyone could trust that both of you were running towards the path of marriage, and you’d agree with them if it wasn’t for the fact that your eye is dangerously landing on someone else lately.
             In your defense, your eyes didn’t linger before Mark, Doyoung’s younger brother, moved in. You had no interest in anyone aside from Doyoung. But– Mark is really something else. Cute, loud, obnoxious, and even charming at times. Still, you’ve caught him countless times staring for too long at your legs when you wear shorts around the house, lingering in the room when Doyoung has his lips on yours, and even stuttering through conversations with you after a wild night in the bedroom with his older brother. 
             It was cute at first, but as the months went on, you started staring at Mark a little more. You’d note that he gets flustered easily but can’t bring himself to leave any given situation that causes such a reaction. He gets hard sometimes too, you can see it, and occasionally you can hear him take care of it too. 
             The first night you heard it, Doyoung was sound asleep next to you after a long, drawn-out session of putting you in your place(sexually). You were comfortable beside him, listening to his soft snores and finally settling yourself in to close your eyes and sleep too.
             It was so silent, the entire house seemed as empty as it always had been outside of you and your boyfriend, except for the fact that Mark is in this house now too. You shoot an eye open at the sound of a muffled moan through the wall. You could tell he tried to prevent it, noticing that it appeared to be choked back almost as quickly as he let it fall from his lips.
             You lay there, first attempting to sleep but ultimately falling victim to the thoughts of what Mark must have been doing just a wall over. You felt guilty about the images, imagining how cute he must look tugging at himself and whimpering, frustrated at how he can’t make a sound. Mark knows how thin the walls are, you’re sure of it. Even you and Doyoung have tried to be quieter so Mark doesn’t have to hear it and feel uncomfortable. 
             The choked-back sounds he was letting out every few minutes only furthered your thoughts into the danger zone. You realized you wanted to watch him. You wanted to help him. As Mark hit his high, you hear his bed frame hit the wall one time, hard. The image of him lying on his back and fucking against his fist was long gone, now images of what position he could have been in for the bed to hit the wall fills your mind. What was he doing? 
 ~
 “Good morning sunshine!” You sing out to your boyfriend when he rounds the corner in a sleepy show of how much he doesn’t want to go to work today. He’s already dressed but you can see the darkened bags under his drooping, half-open eyes. 
             You don’t often make breakfast for him, not that he minds at all, you just felt guilty about listening in on Mark doing his thing again last night and it’s not something you’re proud of. So yeah, maybe Doyoung gets breakfast every time his little brother jerks off, what of it? 
 “Thanks, babe,” Doyoung smiles at you weakly, looking at the warm breakfast you place in front of him. “What if I just call in today?” He asks almost immediately after, tearing his eyes from the food and up to you who had begun to fix a part of his hair that he seemed to have missed. 
 “Up to you, I’ve gotta head back to my place soon though.” You look at him, hands on your hips now as you give him another once-over. “You look tired, maybe you should call out.” 
             Doyoung takes a moment to think. What would his excuse be to miss work on a Monday morning after already having two days off? He’s sick? That wouldn’t work, he ran into one of his bosses just the night before picking up some groceries. Car trouble? Also wouldn’t work, he used that excuse last time and he swore he took his car to the shop that very day to make sure it was in tip-top shape. Death in the family? That’s just asking for bad karma. 
 “Ugh,” Doyoung sighs, picking up his fork and picking around the plate. It looks delicious, honestly, but work is the last place he wants to go right now. “How are you so awake? We stayed up so late, are your legs even tired?”
             You stop mid-step towards the fridge to grab some juice and turn to look at him. 
 “Doyoung, my legs are killing me, and it’s your fault.” 
             He lets out a small laugh, giving himself a gold star for making you come just as hard as he always did. “Yeah, guess it is my fault, isn’t it?” He prods for more compliments.
 “That aside, are you going to call out or?” 
             He shakes his head, taking a bite and trying his best to enjoy this last hour of freedom before a nine-hour workday. 
 “No, I don’t think I’d have a good excuse today. You’re going home anyway too, I’d just be bored,”
 “Umm–” Mark’s voice chimes in as he scuffs into the kitchen with socked feet. He yawns wide and side-eyes you only for a moment before flopping down on the chair next to Doyoung with his legs spread wide. He looks like such a college boy. Looking equally as tired as your boyfriend and hair far messier, you note his side eye. “Are you saying I’m too boring to hang out with?”
             You let out a small chuckle at Mark’s words, and Doyoung just groans about it. 
 “You’re still just as annoying as you’ve always been. I’d rather be wasting away at a desk than sitting here listening to you talk about the exam you’re not studying for.”
 “I don’t have exams yet?” Mark protests, looking over Doyoungs food and swiping a piece from his plate. “The semester hasn’t even started.”
 “I’m preparing for what’s to come–” Doyoung drones on in a defeated voice. 
 “Fair,” Mark smiles and looks at you. “So, um, you’re going home today?”
 “Yep, gotta go to work too.” You sigh, pointing towards the stove. “Want some food?” 
             Mark shuffles to his feet to make himself a plate with a small “thank you”, and you can’t help but notice how disappointed he sounds that you’re going home today. 
 “You’re coming over on Wednesday though, right?” Doyoung asks, sipping the mug of coffee in front of him and finally allowing himself to enjoy the food you’ve graciously made this morning. If he’s gonna have to go to work, the least he can do is feel lucky that he’s not going in on an empty stomach. 
 “What’s on Wednesday again?” You smile towards your boyfriend’s now narrowing eyes. 
 “You know what Wednesday is.”
 “Hm, no, don’t think I do–” Smiling wider at the way his eyes narrow even further.
 “What’s Wednesday?” Mark asks, setting down his plate and taking a bite. 
 “Yeah, tell him what Wednesday is,” Doyoung says in an annoyed tone, one that you can tell is a joke. He always plays along with your antics.
 “I think it’s like, national fork day or something.”
             Doyoung brings a hand to his forehead with a laugh. “Fork day? That’s all you can come up with?!”
             Mark is just confused, what’s so fucking great about forks anyway?
 “I’m joking. It’s our two-year anniversary,”
             You hear a spoon clatter to the table and a small cough. 
 “Ugh-” Mark groans, picking the cutlery up off the table and wiping the crumbs clean. “That’s cool.”
             Mark can see the way Doyoung looks at him with his reaction, but it genuinely wasn’t intentional. He just happened to drop his spoon at the wrong time and choke on his food. It wasn’t meant to be as dramatic as it sounded. Also, maybe he’s a little shocked that Doyoung managed to have a girlfriend for this long with how much of a bore he can be at times. 
 Especially someone like you. Mark feels shy at the very idea of you, not just because he’s heard what you sound like when his brother touches you, but also because you’re just, like, really pretty and it makes his thoughts go in every direction when you speak to him. Even now, just over a small breakfast, he’s disappointed that you have a job too. He’s sad that he can’t spend time in this house with you alone even though he knows well enough that he probably wouldn’t have it in him to approach you. Or does he? Knowing that from time to time, like when he first moved in, there had been some days where you stayed over and did your work-from-home stuff. He wasn’t well acquainted with you back then enough to come out and sit with you, and he’s likely not acquainted enough now either, but that doesn’t change the fact that he kind of wants to be around you without his brother taking note of the small crush he kind of maybe developed by being around you.
 ~
             Today is expected to be more exciting than your last anniversary. Mostly because it’s marking a second year with Doyoung and solidifying the fact that the two of you have made it this far without any glaring issues that could threaten the relationship. At least, no issues that Doyoung is aware of. You think that these thoughts and images of Mark swimming in your head are a phase. There’s no way you’d ever actually go through with anything involving your boyfriend’s little brother. He’s just kind of cute to see all flustered, even cuter when he tries to hide how he’s feeling regarding you. 
 Mark isn’t  there when you walk through your boyfriend’s door. Unfortunately, neither is Doyoung. Grabbing your phone and checking the time you’re distracted by the glaring text message from your boyfriend that seemed to have been sent some ten minutes ago as you got in your car for the drive over. A little wave of disappointment hits you as you stand alone in the darkened kitchen. 
             Doie: hey i’m gonna be a little late. Boss got a last minute client today like an hour before closing time so i’m gonna be here at least until 8:30, is that okay?
             The disappointment fades away with how good he is at communicating with you. Your last boyfriend who you only dated for like two months always bailed without notice on dates, ghosting you for a full day or two before explaining himself with one of the same excuses Doyoung probably uses to get out of work. You know his job is important to him, and you know the anniversary is important to him. His priority doesn’t always have to be you.
             You: Yeah that’s fine. What am i supposed to do for three hours though?I’m already at your place (sparkly eye emoji)
             Doyoung was great at texting you back too.
             Doie: you could get yourself ready for me to come home ;) 
            You: for three hours?
            Doie: yes???? or you can just go bug mark lol
             The silence in the house tells you that Mark isn’t home.
             You: he’s not here, i figured he went out to give us some privacy?
             Doyoung doesn’t respond for a few minutes, probably because he’s doing something important with his work. By the time you’ve slipped off your shoes and laid against the couch, you get the little ping on your phone.
             Doie: Oh, right, he was gonna go meet with some girl he was talking to. I figured he’d chicken out and not go lol, maybe we really will have the house to ourselves tonight ;)
             Something inside of you twisted at his message. On one hand, you’re happy that you might get the entire house with your beloved boyfriend tonight, on the other hand, you kind of don’t like the thought of Mark losing the ability to get all flustered around you if he’s got someone else doing it for him. Are you jealous? No, but you’re a little selfish. You always liked when men chased you even if you knew it would lead nowhere, even if they knew it would lead to nowhere. It was harmless fun, but now all of your fun is gonna be ruined. The last thing you want to be hearing is Mark railing some girl in his room while you’re trying to sleep. 
             You: oh yeah? lets hope we don’t have to be quiet tonight then, i have //plans//
            Doie: plans? 
            You: better do well on your work so you can come home and see <3
             With that, you set your phone down and reach for the remote. Mark is out with a girl right now? Part of you wonders how he’s navigating it, or if the girl is actually into him. The images in your head are amusing until you realize that you’re not imagining him stumbling over himself with some faceless girl. You’re imagining yourself as the girl he’s out with.
             Still, even on your anniversary, you’re bored and you’ve got some hours to kill. You sort through all sorts of images in your head. From what Mark would do if you were to reject him to what he would do if you didn’t reject him. How he would act if you were leaning in to kiss him, or how he would react if you kissed his neck, started touching his stomach, trailing your hands down– straight until you’re assuming that Mark must be getting a hand job somewhere right now. A little disappointed that it’s not you, you laugh at yourself. 
             Silly thoughts like these are normal, and you’re sure Doyoung has them too. Despite the fact that you’d be weirded out if it were about your little sister if you had one. You’re not hurting anyone passing the time and thinking about how things would go with Mark. Surely not. Doyoung was never shy toward you. Always shooting his shot in charming and convincing ways that have managed to lead to a two-year relationship that’s still going strong. He didn’t leave as much to the imagination at the beginning of your relationship, nor does he now. You can’t even imagine Doyoung being insecure or lacking confidence in anything he does, but then there’s Mark. The little brother appears to live in the shadow of Doyoung. From Mark attending college for the same thing to wanting the same woman that Doyoung is in love with. 
             Are you too full of yourself for chuckling about that? Laughing at the fact that he’s so entirely different from your boyfriend but that’s the exact reason you find yourself fantasizing about the ‘what if’s’ with him? Now the thought of what Mark would do if he knew you were thinking about him this way infiltrates your mind. Would he panic? Surely. Would he blush? Oh yeah, for sure. Would he try to play it off as a joke until realizing you’re serious, visibly shivering as you watch him imagine? Oh– would he tell Doyoung? Would he get cocky? So many thoughts that are both scary, cute, and…hot. 
             You look at the clock on your phone again and realize how slowly the time is passing. Mark’s out getting tugged at by some girl, Doyoung is at work being an obedient employee, and what are you doing? Sitting on the couch in a daze as if you’ve just smoked the biggest blunt full of the most high-quality weed.
             Glancing around a bit, you shake your head at a specific thought. Mark’s room.
 ~
             Against your better judgment and several hours on hand to spend, you find yourself in Mark’s room. You didn’t know why your legs carried you here, but then again you kind of did. Curiosity. You didn’t really plan on snooping or anything, you just kind of wanted to see how he lives when he’s by himself. You wanted to see if he made his bed or folded his clothes, and when you note that the loser definitely does not do either of those things, a flash of pastel blue is catching your attention.
             In the mess of Mark’s room, monochrome colors of black and grey come through the most. From sweatpants to band t-shirts, you weren’t expecting to see a glimmer of pastel silk peeking from under one of his pillows. 
             It wouldn’t have caught your attention if it wasn’t for the fact that you recognize the color and even remember the day you purchased them. Those are your panties stuffed under Mark’s pillow. 
             You find yourself smirking in an evil kind of way as you make your way toward the dainty fabric and pull it from the pillow. You can confirm it now, they’re yours, and you remember wearing them just the past weekend you were over. It was normal for you to leave some of your laundry at Doyoung’s place after staying the weekend, it’s not like you weren’t here multiple times a week or anything. 
             Mark must have taken them from the laundry basket in the bathroom. The thought of him that morning when you made breakfast, acting as casual and normal as ever. The harsher thought of how you listened to him again after Doyoung had fallen asleep the night before, furiously reaching his climax. 
             You spread the fabric against your fingers and laugh at the stain on them. This must have been what he was using that night, thinking of you, surely, right? God, Doyoung would kill him if he found out.
             And just as you go to look around to see if he’s stolen more of your intimate wares, you hear the front door open, and you panic, shoving the panties into your back pocket and rushing out of his room to the bathroom just across the hallway.
             In your slight panic, you manage to stand by the bathroom door and listen to the footsteps coming down the hallway. It’s definitely Mark because Doyoung would have called you to let you know he was coming home. Checking the clock again, it’s barely six and you’ve now got two or so hours pretending that you didn’t just find your panties in Mark’s room. Or, maybe, you don’t have to pretend. Maybe you can just fluster and embarrass him more now. 
             You reach over and flush the toilet and then step to the sink to actually wash your hands because you definitely were just handling cum-stained panties, and then you step out of the bathroom acting surprised that he’s here.
 “Oh!” You exclaim, stepping out of the bathroom and looking directly at Mark through his bedroom door as he’s in the middle of throwing himself against the bed in frustration. “Hey, didn’t think you’d be here today?”
             Mark nearly jumps out of his skin despite knowing someone was in the bathroom. He wasn’t expecting to be addressed by you or Doyoung today.
 “Yeah, me neither.” He groans, throwing his hand over his face. “You scared the fuck outta me–”
 “Aw, why so nervous?” You ask, taking a step forward and leaning against the doorframe to his room, crossing your arms. “Doyoung said you were on a date or something,”
             Mark groans again, lifting his back from the mattress to sit up and shaking his head in defeat. The fact that you’re talking to him right now only makes him feel worse. He’s embarrassed enough by the happenings of the past hour or so, now he has to sit here and answer your questions about it?
 “Yeah, I was supposed to be but she ended up just using me as a ploy.” 
             You only chuckle because of course that’s the type of shit that’ll happen to him, but also like, you’re kind of glad the date wasn’t a date, even if he didn’t know it.
 “A ploy?”
 “Turns out, she was just trying to make some guy jealous. He literally served us. ”
 “Oh yeah? Then what happened?” You question, prying now. 
 “When he was coming up to the table, she told me to kiss her so I did. Then as soon as he walked away, she was back on her phone and texting. She accidentally texted me I guess, saying that ‘the plan is working, he’s definitely jealous’.” Mark mocks the text message in a whiny voice.
             You laugh a little louder this time, eyes darting to the pillow he had your panties tucked under.
 “Why are you laughing? I am miserable.” Mark is casual when he talks about it, but you note that he lets out a small chuckle too. “Why would someone even use me to make a guy jealous?”
             You freeze for a second. Here’s your first opening.
 “Because you’re cute?”
             Mark freezes now too, glancing away from you with what you think is that shyness you’d seen so much before. It was definitely shyness. Out of everything that’s just happened, at least you think he’s cute, but it’s not like he can have you or actually use your compliment as an ego boost considering you’re dating his big brother.
 “Anyway,” You offer an out, noting his avoidance a little more now that you know what he’s been doing in his free time with your personal items. “Doyoung will be home later for our anniversary, sorry for what you’re gonna hear later–” 
             Second opening.
 “I know it’s weird to ask but I left a cute pair of panties last time I was here. They’re his favorite. I can’t find them.”
             Mark stands to his feet quickly and casually throws his jacket over the pillow you had pulled them from earlier. Upon the very mention of your panties, he feels caught like he’s got three shining spotlights directed at him to tell you he stole them. 
 “I don’t know, what color were they?” He awkwardly asks, trying to avoid looking at you, not even questioning that you’re asking him when you’ve never so much as asked what he does in his free time. He can’t even tell that he’s telling on himself right now. 
 “Light blue, silk.” You deadpan, looking at him.
 “Oh, I might have seen them in the laundry. I’ll go look.”
             Before you can even protest, Mark is shuffling past you and rushing towards the laundry room. You follow behind him casually, not in the slightest bit of a hurry.
 “I already checked in here. The dirty laundry too.”
 “Did you check Doyoung’s drawers? He did laundry yesterday, they’re probably in there.” 
             Mark is talking so fast that it’s almost sad. Still, it’s fun.
 “Smart boy.” You compliment with a finger in the air, walking towards Doyoung’s room just to see what Mark would do next when you tell him they’re not there. 
             You lazily look through all of your panties stuffed into Doyoung’s drawers and head back out to Mark’s room. Quietly, you peek around the door and only laugh at him when you see his pillow is overturned and he’s digging through a clothes pile in the corner of his room on the floor. The fact that he didn’t even close his door is hilarious, but you imagine it was an afterthought considering time was against him.
 “Did you find them?” You ask, watching him nervously stop searching and stay in place on the floor facing away from you. You could practically tell the cold sweat that hit him.
 “N-no.” He says quickly. “Did you?” 
 “Yep.” You say, pulling the panties out of your pocket.
             Mark relaxes, choosing to believe that somehow, the panties he had tucked under his pillow managed to walk themselves to the laundry room, step into the washer, then the dryer, and then place themselves neatly into Doyoung’s drawer. Never will he let himself think that you found them, or even worse, Doyoung.
             When his shoulders relax and he turns to look at you, you see him stiffen up just as much as before when you swing the panties around your finger, stopping to present them in a way that shows the massive cum stain. 
 “Guess Doyoung needs to find a new favorite, huh?” You joke, tossing them onto Mark’s bed and walking away. 
             As you walk down the hallway with a smile on your face you can hear Mark’s frantic footsteps rush up behind you. 
 “Wait! It’s not–” He tries to explain the situation away. “It’s not what it looks like!”
 “My panties under your pillow aren't what it looks like?” You turn to face him at the end of the hallway, and with the way he was quickly following you, he runs directly into you and has to stumble back from the close proximity of you in front of him. He’s never even touched you before. Never hugged you, prodded you, or even looked at you for too long when your eyes were already on him. 
 “No,” He goes to say, but you interrupt him. 
 “Mark, you’re lucky it was me who found them and not your brother.” 
 “I know,” Mark stutters out, looking to the floor. “But really, I didn’t mean to-”
 “If you didn’t mean for me to find them, you should have stuffed them further back. They were hanging out for anyone to see, Mark.”
             He stops for a moment. You’re telling him how he should have hidden them?
 “Wait–” 
             Only now does Mark realize your comment of Doyoung needing to find a new favorite pair of underwear before you toss them back on his bed. He’s gotta be thinking too positively to imagine you’re giving him the panties and offering tips on how to keep them from Doyoung, right? Like you only gave them back because you’re disgusted by him, right? 
 “Really, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I took them.”
             And admittance. You feel like you’ve won the game, and you’re definitely in the position to ask more questions. 
 “Why did you take them in the first place?” You ask, taking a step towards him to make him feel overwhelmed. 
             Mark takes another step back, feeling frozen when his eyes glance up at yours. He can’t pull his eyes away this time with the way you’re looking at him. There’s a smirk against your lips and he can’t sense a single bit of anger. Cautiously, he tries to make another excuse. 
 “I don’t know why.” He deadpans, staring down at you as you look at him and take another step forward. 
 “I think we both know why you stole them.” You smile wider, lifting slightly to where you’re just inches from his face. “Did you think of me?”
 “Yeah,” He sighs out, somewhat lost in your gaze as if he has managed to become hypnotized by the way you’re speaking with him. Then he shakes himself out of it, taking a step back with a muttered out string of “I mean, no!” 
                        You close in against him just as you did before, not allowing him to escape the hold you have on him. You’re just as close as you were before he stepped back, and you continue. 
 “You did? Do you listen in on what Doyoung does to me too?”
             Mark takes another step back, this time knowing full well that you’ll just follow him again. And you do, practically walking him back through the hallway and against the wall after passing his room. 
 “I mean,” He admits. “Sometimes.” 
             You smile as he tries to back himself up further against the wall. 
 “Why not all the time?” You follow up, watching the way his lip quivers a bit from the nervousness within him. Unbearably cute is what Mark is at this moment, trapped and caught. 
 “You guys get too quiet, I guess?” He answers as if it’s his own question, wondering if it’s what you want to hear. His belly is doing flips though, admitting these things to you and feeling as if you’ll make fun of him, mock him, tell on him.
 “You’re too quiet sometimes too.” You smile before backing away and turning to walk back toward the end of the hallway. 
             Mark hangs his head wondering what the fuck just happened and if you were actually implying certain things toward him. He can barely bring himself to care that you hear him masturbate. He tries to be quiet, honestly, he does. But it’s hard sometimes when he’s rubbing his cock against the silk of the panties you just gave back to him, even harder when he’s hearing you through the walls and he imagines if you’d make the same sounds for him. 
             Pulled from his thoughts, he hears you turn the volume up on the tv before shouting at him.
 “Oh, and Mark?” You say, waiting for him to respond quietly from out of view.
 “Yeah?” He responds as he makes his way back to his room. 
 “I’ll make sure to be louder tonight.” 
             Mark closes his bedroom door feeling like his body is on fire and like his mind is spiraling into a place where it shouldn’t be. 
 ~
             When Doyoung got home, Mark made it his mission to not step foot out of his bedroom until the two of you were passed out. Thankfully, he had taken a quick bathroom break while also trying to avoid letting you hear that he left his room right before Doyoung came back.
             Mark almost feels like prey right now, but he’s entirely too confused about the entire situation. He tried to be a good person and not fantasize about his brother’s girlfriend by making a tinder profile, but even now as he scrolls through all of the pretty faces, he knows that none of them would just let him steal their panties like you did. Not that it’s a hobby of his or anything, he saw your panties and he took the chance to give him a better orgasm next time around. Now he’s kind of obsessed with the idea though.
             He had already placed the panties back under his pillow and stuffed them further back by now, and hearing you and Doyoung in the living room doing couple-things didn’t really help the confusion in his head. If you’re in there all lovey-dovey with his brother, why did you get up so close to him earlier? Why did you offer to be louder for him? Why did you do any of what you did?
             It felt wrong that everything just made him want you more. Before, he was just being a horny guy, but now he’s like, maybe only horny for you.
             Maybe it’s just a phase, surely it’ll pass. He loves his brother.. Then he finds himself questioning if that’s the truth as the night goes on. 
             Jealousy is a hateful demon. When he hears the shuffling into Doyoung’s room and the giggles coming from both of you, Mark almost wants to hit someone. Why can’t he have that? Why does Doyoung always get to experience the good things in life?
             Not only was Mark used by some pretty girl today, he is now being shown yet again what he can’t have and will probably never have. The jealousy is only worse now, as he faceplants into his pillow and considers moving back in with his parents so that way he can stop wanting what his brother has. 
             The consideration is furthered when he grows frustrated at the sounds of you through the wall. He can even hear Doyoung shush you a few times. Against Mark’s will, his cock starts to grow against the mattress and his thigh, fingers now tucking further under the pillow to find those silk panties that caused his ultimate demise today.
             When he runs his fingers along the fabric, still tucked beneath the pillow, he whines to himself at how pathetic it is for him to keep doing this. Only when he realizes that you’re over there being fucked and being loud specifically for him to hear does he pull them out and roll over onto his back.
             All confusion and worry is left behind now as he replaces those anxieties with the idea of you grinding against him while wearing these panties. He thinks about how you like it, how you move your body, what you’d do with your hands. 
             His cock twitches to be free just a few moments later and he doesn’t think twice about lowering his sweatpants and staring down at himself. He sighs in defeat, noting how much harder he is now compared to the nights before when he weakly worked himself up to the faint sounds of you
             From across the wall though, you’re enjoying yourself far too much. Mark kind of falls into the back of your guilty mind as your boyfriend loves on you. Doyoung came home excited, a hand was on you the entire time from the moment he walked through the door until now. Both hands are on you now as he praises you and pries your legs open. Usually, Doyoung was rougher. He’d do things that drive you insane, edge you, and deny you pleasure over and over again until he felt it was time to let you let go. The added attempts to be silent only made it more fun for your boyfriend, gagging you with his cock, fingers, or even your own panties. Tonight was a little different considering it marks the two-year anniversary of his relationship with you.
             The plan you had for Doyoung tonight was for him to use a new toy on you that you’d bought in secret. He always wanted to try double penetration with you but was never willing to share you, and you don’t mind. You still wanted to fulfill one of his fantasies though, and that’s what the intention was. To your surprise though, Doyoung leaves the toy still in its package on the table and has been eating you out for a solid twenty minutes already.
             He’s focusing on you entirely at this moment and it’s got your head spinning with the way his wet tongue flicks your clit while his lips envelop the entire bud. He’s so good at it, and usually only does this when you’ve been extra good for him like if you willingly choke on his entire length or you let him overstimulate you to the point that getting head from him is painful. 
             His head is between your legs lapping away and all you can do is groan out for him, enjoying the way he’s being gentle and pointed with his tongue. His hands go from your legs to keep them from crushing his head to reaching up to massage your tits. He doesn’t even try to silence you, and you’re thankful to keep your promise to Mark despite not actually trying to right now. And when Doyoung pulls his head back for a breath, he looks up at you and smiles in such a genuine way that it has your heart crashing with the amount of love you have for him. 
             Doyoung loses patience with giving you head after the thirty-minute mark. He wanted to make you come this way and make it last as long as possible, but now he’s feeling neglected and the image of you with that toy you got for him to use is burning images in his mind the more he hears you moan for him. 
 “Changed my mind,” Doyoung speaks out as he pulls back from your core and abandons your clit entirely. He hears you whimper at the loss of pressure and always loved the way you sounded when you did it. He finds himself reaching for the toy a little quicker than he already was.
 “Play with yourself while I get this ready,” He smiles at you, giving you a quick kiss to the forehead before fumbling with the box. 
 ~
             The fact that Mark could hear his brother tell you to play with yourself made him feel insane. Only because of the way you started moaning again and gave him more to think about. The thought of walking in on you one day with your fingers inside of yourself, not quite reaching where you want them to, asking him to take over for you.
             Mark almost wants to put his ear to the wall and takes a moment to ask himself why he wouldn’t do that anyway. He wants to hear you.
             Cock still in hand and tangled against your panties, he shuffles to his feet and presses his ear against the wall. You sound much more clear now, He chokes back his own moan, knowing you’d probably hear it more clearly too considering how loud he is. Knowing you could hear him means Doyoung would also hear him, so he tries his best to hold it back as he starts thrusting himself against the silk in his hand.
             He did well until he heard a choked-out whimper, a slap, and some crude words coming from his brother’s lips. On any other day of listening in, his hard-on would instantly go down hearing his brother but what he says to you through these thin as fuck walls has Mark choking back his own whimper.
 “You like being stuffed with two?” Mark heard at first, followed by another whimper from you. “You’re so wet, it slid right in beside me–”
             Mark can’t even imagine what’s being done to you right now but he can tell you’re loving it in the way your whimpers turn to full-fledged moans that he’s never heard before. 
 “Oh, fuck–” Mark groans out towards himself, looking down at his painfully hard cock against your panties. He starts to move his hand this time, faster than what his hips were doing. Only part of him is trying to match the sounds of skin slapping skin, moving his hand much faster than what he’s hearing happen to you. He’s sure you’d moan like that for him too. Wouldn’t even need two to make you be so loud, surely. 
             And then he’s starting to shake, rolling his head a bit to where his forehead is against the wall. Shamelessly, he whispers his own words to you as he begins to release against your panties. Words of, ‘yeah, you like that?’ and “Better than him, right?” 
             When Mark backs away from the wall, allowing the muffled sound of your loud moaning to be further and further from his ear, he collapses on his bed in a deep breath and then trails his eyes back over towards the wall. You’re right there. You know exactly what he was doing in here but now he can’t tell if you were actually being loud because you told him you would, or if it’s because Doyoung really is that good. 
             The jealousy hits again. It isn’t fair.
 ~
                        It’s been days since your anniversary and now that work is finished, you get to head back over for your regular weekend with Doyoung. Except you wonder how awkward it’s going to be. The soreness between your legs has gotten better but the guilt of how Mark avoided you the next morning got worse. 
             You think you should leave it be, you should just let him have those panties and pretend it never happened, pretend you never flirted with him, and pretend you didn’t tell him that you listen to him masturbate too. You went too far on your fucking anniversary then proceeded to fall even more in love with Doyoung.
             Thankfully, you didn’t go far enough to where it couldn’t be salvaged, so when you leave today, you have the promise in your head that you will leave it alone. You will leave Mark alone and go back to what you were with Doyoung before you ever fantasized about his little brother.
             Except that doesn’t happen because the moment you walk in and see Mark lounging by himself on the couch, shirtless, you find yourself avoiding him more than he was avoiding you. Though he immediately got up with a small apology and rushed towards his room, you had to stop yourself from turning around and going straight back home. Doyoung is there though, back turned towards you as he stirs something in a bowl. 
 “Hey, can you come to help me?” He asks, glancing at you from over his shoulder and showing the smallest glimpse of something smeared against his cheek. 
             Your heart warms at how domestic he looks right now, kicking your shoes off and heading towards him with your weekend bag. 
 “I'll be back in a minute, let me put my bag in your room.” You say, coming up behind him and planting a kiss on his shoulder. He nods to you before you walk out and towards his room.
             Mark’s door is closed and you’re thankful for it as the image of his stupidly attractive shirtless body appears in your mind again. It’s stupid, honestly, you have a whole Doyoung in the kitchen waiting for you, who will probably make you come a minimum of three times tonight, and you’re panic-walking past his little brother’s bedroom because you’re incredibly fucking attracted to him. 
             Stupid. 
 ~
             The self-control you once had is no longer present in your head. The plan to leave it be is less and less attractive in your brain the more you take in the image of Mark in front of you at the table texting away on his phone. You watch him shamelessly as Doyoung goes back and forth in the kitchen. You’re almost completely skewed from his view as you sit here across from Mark. He’s wearing a shirt now, and only glancing at you from time to time but still not saying anything.
             What happened to you avoiding him? No, what happened to him avoiding you? 
             From under the table, you gently kick against his leg to get his attention and his eyes snap up toward you. You look down though, ignoring him instead. But your leg stays there, occasionally kicking against him just to see how long it takes for him to stop reacting to it. 
             Scrolling through your own phone now, you’re swiping through videos, listening to Doyoung clattering through the cupboards, and feeling incredibly warm sitting in front of Mark. You don’t know what’s gotten into you when it comes to him, honestly. (It’s not like you knew how hard he came during your anniversary celebration.) 
             Finally, you slowly trail your eyes back up to his face and note that he does the same, at the exact same time. The two of you share a moment of silence looking at each other. You could almost feel his eyes pull you in without intent. It feels dangerous just to look at him, seeing him in a newer light than what you’d seen in him when it was just amusement on your end. You wonder if he can tell. Probably not.
             He doesn’t look away from you, and you’re not sure why. He just stays still, silent, blinking back at you. Maybe he’s being pulled in too, like a secret agreement communicated just through eye contact. The electricity in the space between the two of you is nothing short of dangerous. Your body almost acts on its own when you raise your lips into a half smile at him and plant your foot on the chair between his legs.
             Still keeping eye contact, you watch him jump at the action but he doesn’t move or push your foot away. Instead, he’s breaking eye contact and looking down, staring down, really, at how your socked foot is planted directly between his legs.
             He doesn’t move, trailing his eyes back to you now with a curious look. You continue, pressing your foot forward just slightly. Mark jumps again and shoots his eyes to the opening of the kitchen. Doyoung is still facing away, stirring something in a pot on the stove. 
             Mark doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, or why he does it, but it’s like his hips press forward out of need rather than want. He knows it’s wrong to have you touching him in any way, even if it’s just your foot. 
             You smile wider, watching the way his face tries to stay casual as he gently scoots forward and presses himself further against your foot. Only now, satisfied, do you look back down to your phone as if you didn’t just do what you did, and like you’re not keeping your foot in place for Mark to grind against. 
             The fact that he’s actually doing that alone is enough for you to feel warm on the inside. All you were going to do was experimentally cross a line to see what would happen. This was a much better outcome than him rushing out of the room in a panic. 
             Offering more pressure against his weak grinds, you can tell he’s looking at you in disbelief and shifting his eyes to keep checking for Doyoung. Mostly because he grinds his hips forward a little harder when he notes that Doyoung doesn’t see anything, and when he moves more weakly, you assume your boyfriend must be moving around and able to easily see Mark fall apart. Alerting him that something is happening, even if he can’t see under the table due to the clean cloth he has draped over the table. 
             You smirk as you scroll to watch another video, feeling his cock harden against your foot, and god, he’s really that desperate? You hate how much you like it, and hate even more that you’re so fucking attracted to him doing this right now. 
             When you glance up, you note that Mark is really trying to concentrate on looking normal, but you can see him so clearly shifting his lower half and you speak up. 
 “Mark, have you seen this meme?” You fake laugh out loud, mostly to stop him from getting too into it and blowing the cover. 
             He jerks his hips back with an annoyed groan, realizes where he is and what’s between his legs, and then jumps into an act.
 “N-no, I don’t think so,” He says nervously, leaning forward to see your phone. 
             You grab the collar of his shirt and pull him closer over the table, lifting him from his seat and whispering. 
 “You need to stop being obvious–” You whisper before releasing him and turning your phone to show him the video.
             Mark lets out a fake laugh at the video  before seating himself and looking dead into your eyes. Then he feels you adjust your foot again, this time further into his chair and seated directly against his painfully hard erection.
             He doesn’t think he can just sit here and let this go on for too long but he doesn’t want you to stop either. It’s the first time you’ve actually come onto him and Doyoung is right fucking there. Mark decides to take what he can get, even if it’s just out of pity from you. 
             You’re shocked when you feel his hand grab your foot and hold it in place before very harshly  grinding against it. Watching him from across the table, he’s somehow manages to make it not look obvious that he’s practically fucking one part of you, still, you find yourself falling apart at the way he parts his lips and bites the bottom one harshly. He’s focused solely on his phone, brows furrowed, but you can tell his eyes are vacant and he’s only focusing on how he’s feeling between his legs. 
             Just as quickly as he started, you feel him push your foot away and he’s scooting back in his chair. 
 “I left something in my room. I’ll be back.” Mark says sheepishly, looking to the floor and rushing into the hallway.
             You watch him rush out of the room confused, so you look behind you hoping Doyoung didn’t like, make eye contact with him or something. It doesn’t appear he did though, because you see him waist-deep bent over in the fridge looking for something. 
             Mark needed to like, not come in his pants from that. He doesn’t fucking like feet, but he likes you. You offered pressure and he fucking took it. He needed to finish himself off and not have to sit there in cum-soiled pants pretending like it didn’t just happen. Naturally, he came to his room to finish himself off out of frustration. Thankfully he’s close enough to reach climax within two to three strokes, right there leaning against his door. 
             Embarrassed by the small sob he let out during his orgasm, he’s quick to rush to the bathroom and clean up before grabbing a hoodie from his room and throwing it on over the t-shirt, mostly so it does look like he came in here to grab something.
             Not even five minutes pass before he’s sitting in front of you again. Mark feels helpless in the way he can no longer bring himself to avoid looking at you, all the way up until Doyoung peeks into the room and announces that he thinks he’s perfected the soup recipe, and is ready for you guys to come try it. 
             You, on the other hand, didn’t look at Mark after he came back. Not much, anyway. It’s not that you didn’t want to, it’s mostly just that you’re coming to terms with the fact that you just crossed a line and you’re not sorry about it. Even after Doyoung places a spoon at your lips and the soup was definitely the most delicious he’s ever made, and even after he’s got his arm around you at the table, across from his little brother who just eye fucked you while grinding against your foot. 
 ~
             The events of yesterday stayed fresh on your mind even as Doyoung lays next to you half-awake and scratching against his arm before cuddling in closer to you. He was so warm, and all you can do is wonder why you're risking this comfort to have fun with his little brother. You’ve already crossed a line and gone too far. You did exactly what you said you weren’t going to do and exactly what you never thought you could do. You’re probably not going to be able to stop even if you wanted to try again, so you opt to just–not think about when it’s gonna happen again or if it’s gonna happen again. 
             Saturday almost flies by and before you know it, all three of you are lounging in the living room to watch a movie. Usually, Mark isn’t as present when you’re with Doyoung but since everything started, he makes himself known much more. He includes himself in things and engages in more conversation. You wonder if it’s because he’s waiting for you to do something again. The worst part about all of it is that you can tell Doyoung is enjoying the time he’s spending with you and Mark together. 
             Even during this movie, Doyoung doesn’t think twice when you lean against him and throw your legs over Mark’s lap to get comfortable. Alternatively, Mark thinks three to four times over when you do it, opting to keep his hands at his sides when he steals a glance at you and notes that you’re comfortable under his brother’s arm. 
             The movie goes on like that and Mark can’t help but feel like it’s taking forever to be over with. Then again, he’s staring at your legs on his lap more than the movie on the screen. It gets worse when there's a jumpscare and your legs are tensing up and moving around against him. At least this time it’s not your fucking foot and he’s got a calf muscle to work with. 
             You did it both intentionally and unintentionally. You weren’t exactly throwing your legs on him to get him to rub against them or anything, it was mostly just to fluster him, but Mark proves himself as someone with zero self-control once again. You feel him twitch under your legs and shamefully, it makes you wet. Like, incredibly wet actually. And in your defense, it’s not like Mark hasn’t seen this happen before, never in an intimate setting like this, but you really can’t help yourself knowing that if you want to get fucked, you’ve got Doyoung right here to do it for you. 
             Adjusting yourself, you pull your legs from Mark and take a second to focus on his lap. The tent in his pants was obvious, but Doyoung pays no mind as his eyes stay on the screen. You watch the way Mark covers himself quickly and looks at you. As he looks at you, you move a bit to look at Doyoung.
             Without warning, your boyfriend is thrown off guard by you suddenly kissing his neck. Mark doesn’t have self-control, and neither do you. You’re not trying to dangle your relationship in front of him, really, you’re not. It’s not your fault that Mark got hard and that caused a chain reaction in getting you wet. 
             Doyoung pulls back to look at you in confusion, smiling but also trying to dodge your kisses against his neck. 
 “Hey, hey slow down–” He turns his face to whisper into your hair. “It’s weird with Mark here.”
             You ignore his whispers and continue to kiss against him, moving your hand dangerously close to his upper thigh. 
             In a way, Doyoung can’t believe that you’re really acting like this in front of Mark. Sure, the two of you have kissed in front of him, and Mark has walked in on some steamy makeout sessions, but it was never intended to be in front of him. Then again, Doyoung knows how needy you can get and how selfish you can be when you’re wanting something specific from him. 
 “Okay, okay–” Doyoung whispers out again, gently pulling himself from the couch and grabbing your hand. 
 “Hey Mark, I think she’s getting tired.” Doyoung laughs with the obvious lie. “Can we finish the movie another time?” 
 “Uh, sure.” Mark responds, knowing full fucking well that you’re turned on because of him. The movie hadn’t played even one sexy scene to get you all riled up. 
 ~
             Come Sunday morning, you were just as turned on as you were the night before. You can feel your body heating the moment you even think of Mark, but Doyoung satiates you well enough. Even there against the bathroom wall as the two of you take a shower. 
             Doyoung took note the night before that you enjoyed it when he humiliated you for doing those things in front of Mark. Asking you if you were really so desperate that you’d let just anyone see you acting the way you did. He plays off of that today too. 
             Waking up hard wasn’t anything weird for Doyoung, and usually the morning showers end up as morning sex sessions anyway. You seemed more willing and awake this morning than any other time, and he’s thankful for it. 
             When he’s got you pressed against the wall as the warm water runs down your back, he doesn’t hesitate to plunge into you all the way with a comment of how much wetter you get when he degrades you. In a way, the punishment and degradation feels deserved, because you are embarrassed by how much you want to touch Mark.
 “You love when other people can see how much you want me, don’t you?” 
             You nod against the cold bathroom tiles, feeling his cock pressing deeply inside of you and making your legs feel weak. You do love when other people can see, but what you mean by that is you love when his little brother can see. 
             Mark, from across the hall, once again hears it all because it wakes him up. Doyoung hadn’t even attempted to keep his voice down while talking to you. 
 “Going so far as letting Mark see? How desperate were you?” 
             Mark’s ears perk up at the sound of his brother saying that, already stirring in his pants at the very idea of you getting off to that. How desperate were you? He wonders how you answer, or if you do. He wonders if you were desperate for him or if it was really for Doyoung.
             Without much more thought, Mark can’t go another day with you here right now. It’s becoming a bit too much, a bit too real, and honestly, he thinks he’s the desperate one right now. Wanting to barge into the bathroom, shove his brother away, and have his way with you. He could never. You’d never let him go that far surely. 
             And by the time it’s all said and done, you leave the bathroom lightheaded and Mark appears to have left the house to do something else.
 ~
             The week passes normally up until Thursday night. You’re rummaging through your cabinets for something to make for dinner when your phone goes off. Assuming it’s Doyoung again, complaining that Friday never comes fast enough, it’s Mark sending you something through instagram, and he’s drunk. 
             MarkLee99_ sent a photo: 
 MarkLee99_ : guess who got drunk on a thursday night and is regretting the fact that i wanna talk to you? 
             Never did you want a paper trail or some type of proof that you and Mark are involved in this weird….thing together. His message isn’t even sexual, it's just a bit intimate that your boyfriend’s brother is sending you selfies while drunk even though you came onto him first. He’s attractive, and entirely too cute right now trying to approach you via fucking Instagram because he won’t do it to your face. Then again, Doyoung is always around. 
 You: let me guess, you’re the one drunk on a thursday night and will probably say some shit that will make you not be able to look me in the eye tomorrow?
 MarkLee99_ : ding ding ding! what’re you doing? 
You: texting you and trying to find food, im hungry. what about you?
MarkLee99_ : bout to make another drink and pretend i don’t have your panties under my pillow
MarkLee99_ : …because i do
             Wow, Mark is bold and confident when he’s drunk. You find yourself smiling over it. You’d never guess or even assume he would try to make conversation with you about that of all things.
 You: oh yeah, you’re definitely drunk
MarkLee99_ : am i being too weird? 
MarkLee99_ : because you’re the one who started it
You: me? I started it? You stole my underwear! 
MarkLee99_ : you’re the one who let me keep them
You: that’s……fair….
MarkLee99_ : so… :) 
             Shy boy is no more at this moment and you almost feel caught off guard. Reminding yourself that he’s drunk, you try to set a boundary in your head and change the subject.
 You: what are you drinking?
MarkLee99_ : found some of my brother’s expensive whiskey, gonna tell him you drank it, he wont be mad then
You: you’re gonna tell him that I drank his whiskey, when he knows I don’t even like whiskey?
MarkLee99_ : yep
             You laugh at his stupidity, finally finding a snack for yourself and settling on the couch with your phone in hand. 
 You: and you’re drinking on a weeknight again, why?
MarkLee99_ : because i want you 
             Oh.
 MarkLee99_ : and i know im not allowed to, but it’s really hard to like, not, i guess
MarkLee99_ : i know im being weird and im sorry, just really drunk rn and wanna talk to you thats all
MarkLee99_ : or we can pretend i never message you and you can delete the messages
You: no, i think you’re being cute. You can calm down, it’s okay
             It’s definitely not okay, but you want it to be. You’re about to do some not okay things too, and cross those boundaries you literally just now set.
 You: so, they’re still under your pillow? 
MarkLee99_ : yea
You: when was the last time you didn’t have them under there?
MarkLee99_ : yesterday
You: oh yeah? 
MarkLee99_ : yea i washed them when doyoung was at work…um
MarkLee99_ : can you maybe wear them again
             God, he really is that desperate. 
 MarkLee99_ : please? you can leave them in the laundry like last time and ill just grab them
You: i’ll think about it 
MarkLee99_ : okay…so…uh….did you like the selfie 
You: i like seeing you in person more, it’s fun when you’re all flustered and stuff, trying to pretend you don’t like it
             Mark is giggling to himself like a schoolgirl, focusing on your messages and hoping to god he doesn’t forget the things you’re saying to him. He’s going to have to delete these messages as soon as it’s over though, for sure. At least he’s not drunk enough to forget the glaring issue at hand here.
 MarkLee99_ : i don’t like it because i always have a boner now lol i feel gross always having to go to my room and take care of it so things dont get weird
You: maybe ill take care of it for you someday, who knows?
MarkLee99_ : wait what
             You’re cheating. As if you haven’t been already. This is blatantly against your moral code and you literally do not care. 
 You: are you all flustered now?
MarkLee99_ : maybe,,,,
You: would you want me to? instead of you having to always run off to your room where I can’t see? 
MarkLee99_ : you’re doing this on purpose, you wouldn’t actually wanna
MarkLee99_ : would you?
You: guess you’ll just have to find out eventually
You: flustered now?
MarkLee99_ : yea, wanna see?
MarkLee99_  sent a photo: 
You:  jesus christ
You: you’re like, really big. I mean, I knew from feeling it last weekend but like, that was my foot lol
MarkLee99_ : yeah what even was that about? i felt so stupid doing that
You: you looked hot when you did it tho
MarkLee99_ : am i really that big? 
You: mark, look at it. im shocked you don’t already have a girl to bury it into yet
MarkLee99_ : could have one ;) 
You: ….yeah
MarkLee99_ : yeah? 
MarkLee99_  sent a photo: 
             Okay, it’s getting to be too much now. You can feel the warmth pooling into your panties already and you wonder if he would be just as eager to lick it up as he is to text you right now. You spread your legs wide, deciding on if you should do it. You’re already cheating, the guilt couldn’t get any worse anyway. 
 You sent a photo: 
 MarkLee99_ : oh fuck 
MarkLee99_ : you’re wet?
MarkLee99_ : sorry i wasnt expecting that
MarkLee99_ : can i save it
You:  :) 
 You sent a photo: 
 MarkLee99_ : you should give me those panties instead
You: okay, ill put them in the basket tomorrow night 
MarkLee99_ : will you still wear the other ones too?
You: you want //two// pairs?
MarkLee99_ : yeah :( 
You:  if it’ll make you keep being cute like this 
             Mark is blushing, flushing, and shaking all at once, one hand on his length  and the other texting you. He’s saved the photos anyway, boring holes into them with the thought of what must be behind that thin layer of sticky and wet fabric. He wants to put his face there, he wants to smell you and swallow you up. 
 MarkLee99_ : can i call you?
             A sharp feeling of fear but an even bigger feeling of arousal hits you. 
 You: I’m waiting. 
             You didn’t have to wait long, watching the bubble of him typing something to you disappear and instead getting a phone call. You know Mark had your number, and you had his, mostly for communication purposes for Doyoung. Never was this supposed to happen. 
             When you answer the phone after taking a deep breath, your eyes are nearly popping out of your head. Mark is shameless. All those nights of hearing him muffled through the wall now coming through crisp and clear on the speaker. If you close your eyes, it’s like you’re in his room with him. 
             You don’t speak, and instead listen. You had expected him to answer the phone stuttering, trying to dirty talk but ultimately failing. It appears his drunken state offers him more than just liquid courage, but liquid lust as well. For a moment you stop and contemplate hanging up. Mark is drunk and you can’t help but feel as though you’re taking advantage of him. Then again, previously sober he basically fucked himself against your foot at the dinner table. 
 “Feel good?” You ask with a chuckle. You can hear the movement of his body through the speaker and you’re aware that through the lack of slapping sounds that your panties are probably silencing what his hand is doing. 
             Mark barely answers. A quick “mhm” ringing through your ears with his deep breaths. This isn’t typically how phone sex would go, considering dirty talking is what gets a person there. Maybe Mark has never done this before, then again, maybe he gets off on knowing you’re listening to him while also alone. 
 “Can you–talk?” Mark asks weakly,  his hand stilling for a moment to focus solely on the image he has pulled up over your phone call. He can barely comprehend that you’re on the other line and he’s looking at your pussy pressing against slick panties.
 “I like hearing you do this,” You say quickly, not very good at this type of thing yourself despite knowing how it should usually go. You slowly start to trace your fingers against your panties, wondering if Mark would be gentle like this too, nervous even. 
 “Yeah?” He asks with a small, choked moan as he begins to move his hand again. “You’re not weirded out?”
 “If I was weirded out I wouldn’t have sent you photos.” You snap, frustrated suddenly with the whole situation that this is your boyfriend’s brother. “Stop calling it weird–” You trail off, listening intently to the shifting sounds you hear through the speaker. 
 “Doyoung isn’t home right now,” Mark suddenly admits, and you can feel the arousal disappear almost instantly as you hear his name. The reality hitting you, but still not caring enough to stop.
 “Don’t talk about him right now, This isn’t right but–”
 “But what?” Mark asks, this time pulling his hand away completely and wondering if you realized you fucked up. Hoping you won’t tell Doyoung, hoping this never gets found out. 
 “I can’t stop thinking about you.” You let out, finally pressing your fingers beneath the lining of your panties. “I know it’s wrong.”
             Like music to Mark’s ears, he feels the eagerness in his body swell to the point that it’s difficult to maintain. Doyoung has everything that Mark wants. A good career, a nice house, needed life skills. All of those things could be obtained with hard work and effort for Mark, but you. You were the one thing he was never supposed to have. You were the one aspect of Doyoung’s life that Mark wouldn’t have the ability to work his way towards, but he did. He has you right now, in this moment, and he feels like nothing could break him. He knows it’s wrong just like you do, but Mark is selfish too. 
             He doesn’t think you meant to feel this way, because he always sees the good in people, and if you were doing this with any other man he would definitely snitch on you if he found out. But you’re doing it with him and he doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt at this moment that he wants to fuck his big brother’s girlfriend, and it appears she wants to fuck him too. 
             A small part of Mark’s brain is anxious though. That little still-sober sliver of his moral code trying to fight its way to the front. Does he go with his heart or with his brain? Should he stop? Will he be able to look you in the eye tomorrow? Will he be able to ever look his brother in the eye? He isn’t sure. Both his heart and his brain tells him to go for you, the only thing telling him not to is the thought of his brother. The good news about that is, with you on the other end of this line, Doyoung doesn’t exist to him any longer as he goes to speak.
 “You can have me, you know.” He almost whispers, staring down at his heavy cock resting against his belly, panties left dangling off the tip. “I wouldn’t say no.”
             Those were dangerous words. Words you know you shouldn’t accept or be turned on by. 
 “I bet you wouldn’t–” You cut yourself off in a deep breath, pressing against your clit and rubbing harshly. Mark isn’t even talking much, just offering himself on a fucking platter to you.
 “Oh, shit, are you?” Mark swallows hard, the reality that you might actually be touching yourself on the other line sending waves of heat down his body in waves. He thought it was just him and only had the hopes that you wouldn’t start making fun of him for it. 
 “Oh shit, oh fuck.” He says, quickly moving his hand to grip against his cock and already feeling too sensitive from the short moments of neglect. “Where are your hands?” He adds.
 “In my panties.”
             Mark groans, dropping his phone by his ear on the pillow and using his other hand to grip something, anything as he opts to imagine your fingers sliding beneath the panties you’d shown him in the photo.
             You can tell he’s holding his breath, focusing on feeling good in the way he releases short, quick groans every now and then. You keep yourself silent though, trying to hear him, trying to imagine what he’s doing while thinking of you. 
             The wetness between your legs is being spread by your fingers as you scissor your lips open easily, letting a small groan roll off your tongue for him to hear. Satisfied by his responsive deep breath and sigh, you finally plunge your fingers in. 
 “Can you hear it, Mark?” You ask, lowering the phone a bit so that he can hear your fingers slide in and out of you with a wet sound. 
             He chokes on his end at that, swiping the panties off of him to replace the feeling of fabric with the feeling of his closed fist. His precum smears beautifully, offering him the sensation that if he squeezes hard enough, he can imagine that he’s fucking into your warm and wet pussy. He can hear how wet you sound and it’s driving him up a fucking wall not being able to physically see you do it in front of him. 
 “This is all I'm going to think about tomorrow–” He groans out, tightening his fist even more and bucking his hips into it. “You sound so,”
 “Wet for you?”
             That’s all it takes before Mark is gasping out a string of curses, the orgasm both sending him into a sobering world of pleasure and an even drunker state of wanting you to himself. Strings of white spurting all along his belly and going as far as his chin, he throws his other hand up and bites hard against the skin on his knuckle as he works through it. He doesn’t want to moan, he wants to hear how fast your fingers are moving. He wants to think about how you must be imagining him right now, feeling good and breaking the rules for him. 
             Finally, after an embarrassingly long orgasm from Mark, his room goes silent and his ears tune in to the speaker on his phone. You’re cooing, letting out pretty little breaths between the smacking sounds of your palms coming into contact with your clit as you work yourself through it. He can’t believe you’re doing this with him, and even after his own orgasm he’s still incredibly aroused despite his cock softening. 
 “You still there?” You groan out. He can tell the phone is closer to what your hands are doing than it is to your face, but he doesn’t mind.
 “I’m still here–” He swallows hard, catching his breath as he practically studies the audio you’re feeding to him. 
 “I bet that felt good,” You compliment his orgasm that was glaringly obvious on your end. You imagine he doesn’t even recognize that his hand was audible against his cock, and the sheer speed you heard of what he was doing made your clenching walls ache with everything you shouldn’t be wanting.”Wish I could see you right now–” 
             Mark did contemplate face timing you instead, but that was crossing more of a line in his head than just calling you. Plus, he would have probably hidden himself from view the entire time. It’s not like he expected to actually have you fucking yourself on the other end of the line, but here you are, and here he is, cum all over him. 
             He snaps a quick photo for you, and in your head you whimper a small yes, because you can hear the shutter from his phone.
 “Send it,” You demand softly, pulling your phone from your stomach and holding it in front of your face. 
             He does as you ask and feels embarrassed by the pools of cum all over his stomach. The photo consists mostly of his chest down. You can see his plush and bitten lips at the top of the photo though, and his quite big softening cock lying spent against his stomach, smearing some of the cum across his belly. 
             Mark listens to your reaction and hum of approval when you look at the photo, a small blush fanning his cheeks out of pure adoration for you rather than lust at this moment. He listens intently, unsure of if you’re going to work yourself to orgasm or hang up on him before he gets the chance to hear it. 
             The point is, Mark is getting a part of you that only Doyoung should have, and he will be damned to pretend he doesn’t like it. 
 ~
             Waking up with an immense amount of guilt in your head, you almost bail at going to Doyoung’s house this weekend. You’ve already called out of work simply because you find yourself thinking of Mark more than you should, and the guilt only wavers from you feeling like a piece of shit, to almost being a thought that you can push aside. 
             Doyoung would kill Mark if he found out, and you, what would he even do with you? Break up with you? Insult you? The thought of him finding out is the only reason you feel guilty. Because you still don’t regret showing Mark, letting him hear you, or hearing and seeing him. In fact, you don’t intend to stop either. You want him too much at this point, and he seems to be in the same place as you when it comes to this situation. Mark wouldn’t tell on you because then he would be telling on himself. 
             After all, he only moved in with Doyoung so he could taste freedom outside of his parent’s house. The strict curfews, the password protected websites despite him being a fucking adult, the supervision of his own money and belongings. Doyoung knew the pain of living there, and that’s why he accepted Mark with open arms. 
             Doyoung was a good brother and an even better boyfriend. You and Mark on the other hand. Mark’s an awful brother and you’re an even worse girlfriend. He didn’t deserve any of this, and he doesn’t deserve any of what’s to come either. You’re in too deep with Mark now, and the glaring attraction is too strong to ignore. 
             Never in your life did you think you could find yourself being unfaithful, let alone with your own boyfriend’s sibling, yet here you are. Only guilty if you get caught. 
             Mark had texted you at least three thousand times with apologies. Admitting that his head hurt too much this morning to be realizing what the two of you did. He said he wouldn’t approach you when you come over, apologized again, and then promised to never tell Doyoung and to never hold it against you if you think he’s weird for doing all of that to you.
             Reading over his string of messages, you realize that Mark is blaming himself. He feels like he’s taking advantage of you and wanting you to feel secure and safe in something you did without a second thought. 
             On his end though, Mark is in his room staring at the two photos you sent to him the night before. Partially wondering if it was all just a dream at first, those pictures of you were the truth of how you felt towards him. And when you never text him back he doesn’t think too hard about why.
             When you still show up at that day, he doesn’t question that you’re not eye fucking him the second you walk in through the door either. 
             Mark was once again lounging on the couch when you walked in and Doyoung was nowhere in sight. He hadn’t texted you either. Awkwardly, Mark speaks up before you can question it.
 “He told me to let you know that he was gonna be late again. Said something about knowing you’d spam him with needy text messages while he’s in a last-minute work meeting.”
             You look to the floor for a second, wondering if the real reason Doyoung didn’t text you personally like he always did is because he found out somehow. 
“Oh,” You sigh, slipping off your shoes and feeling a wave of anxiety wash over you. 
 “He doesn’t know, don’t worry–” Mark assures you as he stands to his feet and heads towards his room. “Sorry about last night, I won't do that again.”
 ~
             You’ve been slouched against Doyoung’s couch for at least an hour by now and your mind is still doing a back and forth between taking advantage of this alone time with Mark, or worrying about how you shouldn’t be left alone with him at all.
             The glaringly obvious issue in your head right now is the fact that you’re alone with Mark and you’re not upset about it. Mark assured you that Doyoung didn’t find out, and the fact that Mark is the best source of finding out exactly what Doyoung knows is more of a comfort than anything to you right now. 
             Thinking back to the night before, you remember releasing your orgasm on the phone and hearing him compliment you through it. You have the photo of him saved within your gallery, hidden from your too-trusting boyfriend’s eyes. It was the first time you’ve ever seen Mark’s lower half bare. He really was huge. 
             It’s not even shocking to you at this point that you can feel guilty and anxious one moment and immediately switch into some sex-starved beast at the very thought of Mark. 
 “maybe ill take care of it for you someday, who knows?” The text message you sent to him spreads across your thoughts, knowing full well that you’re probably going to get intimate with Doyoung later, the least you can do is let Mark have some first if he wants it, right? 
 You cautiously stand to your feet with a deep breath. The fact that you allow yourself to continuously dig the hole deeper for you to never be able to pull yourself out from inside. Maybe it's just what Mark does to your thoughts? The images of him are too good to be able to ignore, the guilt not nearly enough to make you stop wanting him. 
 Doyoung isn’t in your mind when you reach into your bag and grab the soiled panties you had soaked completely the night before, and Doyoung barely exists at all in your thoughts when you make your way down the hall and lean against Mark’s closed door. 
 “I wouldn’t say no.” was what Mark had messaged you before, guess now is the time to find out. 
 Opening his door without so much as a knock, Mark doesn't appear to notice you at all as his back stays turned and he focuses on the screen in front of him. The large headset is sitting comfortably on his ears and you’re sure that the volume is up far too loud to be healthy. You can hear his friend’s yelling directions, where enemies are hiding and where they’re headed next. 
 You smirk for a moment, noting how much of a typical college boy Mark is. Messy room, messy hair, messy relationship with his brother’s girlfriend. You can imagine he feels pride in what he was able to do with you, and that’s not even an ego boost on your end. You wonder if he’s told his friends anything at all. Not about who he likes or who he’s been getting intimate with even if not too-directly, but like, that he’s been getting fed sexual fantasies by someone in general. You wonder if he talks you up, then again, what if he hasn’t mentioned it at all.
 “Where were you last night anyway?” You hear over the too-loud headset as you come up behind Mark with the panties in your hand. 
 “Busy getting laid, unlike you losers.” Mark boasts, but you snicker at how he’s both lying and telling the truth.
 “Bullshit–” You hear another insult coming through his headset before you finally are right behind him. 
             Part of you wants to prove him right so his friend’s think he’s cool or something, but then again, what if they recognize your voice? Surely these are his friends from back home, some two to three hours from this city. Surely they don’t know you, right?
 “No, really.” You lean down against Mark’s headset and speak in a tone that isn’t too common for you,  and he freezes. 
 “No fucking way,” A deeper voice sounds through his headset and you can’t help but feel happy for him in the way they, for some reason, can’t believe Mark’s got some girl in this city interested in him. 
             When Mark tries to turn his body to look at you, you hold the chair in place. Knowing yourself how headsets work, you lift his mic until it clicks, hoping to god the mute function works like it’s supposed to and start talking.
 “Don’t move, keep playing if you want.” You say, dangling the panties over his head and lowering them in front of his face.
             More arousing than gross, you watch Mark’s face fall forward against them. Part of him can’t believe you’re really doing this right now despite leaving his messages on read. But you are, and these are the panties that he thought about all last night and most of today. He really meant it when he said that would be the only thing he would be thinking about, and here you are, keeping the promise of giving them to him.
             Reaching up and clutching the panties, Mark tries to turn towards you again. 
“Stay,” You say. “And don’t be loud.” You lower his mic into place where he is no longer muted and listen as his friends go from talking shit to starting up another game. 
             From behind his chair, you’re a little shocked at how good he is at following what you say. He doesn’t move, but you can hear his breathing and the way he struggles to balance it in order to remain some-what normal sounding to his friends when they address him. His fingers are shaking against his keyboard as the game starts, and you think he’s probably thought about this happening to him hundreds of times before. 
             Gamer boys always want this kind of thing. Some girl prodding and tugging at them, sucking them off under the table as they boast to their friends how they can be getting head and still getting gold damage by the time the match is over. 
             All you can think about right now is being the person to fulfill his fantasies. More turned on by the idea that Mark must want it so badly from you. When you reach around him, lying your hand against his lap, he’s already incredibly hard and stares down at it as the countdown screen on his game begins. 
             From out of sight, you don’t want Mark to see you. You want to see how badly he does through this, because it’s not only cute but actually fucking hilarious. It’s the first time you’re moving on him rather than him grinding against whatever you have to offer.
             Ignoring the call outs of enemies in game through his head set, both of you spiral into a world of your own again when you grab his length from over his sweatpants and just–you just hold him for a moment. The weight of it grows much heavier as he somehow manages to get insanely hard at the fact that you’re in the room with him and your incredibly used panties are sitting right there too.
 “Jesus–” Mark groans when you grab him, but his friends seem to pay no mind to it. Gamer talk and all. 
 “Jesus is right, you haven’t moved from that fucking building you cuck-” Some guy shouts from his head set.
 “Shut the fuck up Haechan, you’re literally in bronze,” Another man shouts.
             Mark is silent save for a sharp inhale when you squeeze your palm around him. He knows if he even tries to talk shit right now that all of his friends would just fucking know how desperate and embarrassing he is around you. That’s the last thing he needs.
             Finally, after a few moments of palming him through his pants, you dip right in. He doesn’t shy away from it either, spreading his legs from under his desk and lifting his ass up slightly so you can pull the pants down to release his length. 
             Even bigger than the photos, thicker than you genuinely imagined now that you see it from over his shoulder. Mark tries to turn his head this time to look at you, but you’re quick to catch his cheek and turn it back to the screen. 
             Gripping him again, Mark sighs into his mic and his friend’s screaming goes silent. You’re quick to lift his mic into the muted position just to offer some sort of escape from embarrassment now seeing that he’s incredibly willing to let you do this while his ego is on the line.
 “You want them to hear?” You ask, feeling his hips slightly buck into your grip. That sends shivers down your spine, finally feeling it for the first time.
 “I don’t care–” He sighs again, thrusting his hips up harder. “Just touch me,”
             The way he says it, for some reason, sounds so fucking broken that you could honestly swirl this chair around and impale yourself on him without so much as a second thought. But you contain yourself, now moving your grip up his length and thumbing over the head to feel the little beads of pre-cum. 
 “Alright, sweetheart,” You compliment, lowering his mic for the last time and wondering just how much he’s going to let his shithead friends hear.
             For a few moments, you gently jerk him off just to see his hips chase your fist. He’s needy in the way he moves his body but very fucking good at acting as you start to count each kill he manages to get through this. 
             By the time you hear his friends praise him, you feel a little competitive yourself. Shy, needy, desperate little Mark thinks he can get through a game the very first time you actually touch him? Perhaps he thinks he is giving you what you want, but what you want is to see him fall apart. 
             You move your hand faster, watching him from behind as he chokes up and slams his head against the headrest of his chair, nearly knocking the headphones off of him. 
 “Fuck,” Mark moans, knowing full well that his friends wouldn’t suspect anything if he says such a thing. 
             You know that was for you though, so you continue. The rhythm of your hand moving from a slow drag to something painfully fast and unfathomably good. Mark’s head is spinning, thrusting his hips up and gripping his computer mouse so tightly that he thinks he could crush it in his grip. 
             When his pre-cum is offering more lubricant for an easy slide up and down, your pace remains fast and you can squeeze harder. 
             Mark can’t hold himself back anymore, slamming his head against the headrest of his seat yet again, this time his headset sliding off of his head and falling into the floor. He lols his head from side to side as he finally lets out a moan, shooting a hand to your wrist and holding it in place so that he can fuck up into it. 
             You gasp at that, his grip harsh and far less gentle than you’d expect. The muffled screams of his friends are blatantly obvious and you can’t bring yourself to care if the mic muted itself during its descent to the floor or not. 
             He’s choking back little groans, releasing your wrist and staring down, then grabbing it again before fucking up harder. You can tell he has no idea what to do, what he should do, or what he’s going to do and it’s so fucking endearing. 
             He tries to turn to see you again, but you do your best to remain behind him as you grab the base of his cock and cause him to groan in pain.
 “Let me see you,” He nearly sobs in a frustrated way, and for a moment you contemplate letting him. 
 “Let me hear you.” You respond, keeping that same, painfully tight, grip against him and dragging it up to his head, enveloping it and sending sensitive shocks throughout his body. 
 “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Mark wiggles under the painful grasp, but his hips still chase when you drag your hand back down. He’s no longer being quiet, no longer pretending to care about his dead character on the screen, re-spawning and dying every few seconds. He’s a free kill for any enemy player right now and you can tell his friend’s are pissed in the way the screaming from the headset gets louder despite the distance. The chat box on screen is being spammed just as aggressively, and Mark can barely even open his eyes to process it. 
 “You were playing so well,” You coo out, shifting forward a bit and placing your chin on his shoulder. “What happened, Markie?” 
             He softly moans at the nickname, eyes half open as he glances down at how fast your hand is moving compared to your soft, balanced voice against his ear. He turns his head quickly, trying to catch you off guard, but you pull away.
 “So needy to see me,” You chuckle, working him up and knowing that he’s got to be close with the way she shamelessly moans in the most annoyed, frustrated way. 
 “Let me kiss you.” He grunts, bucking his hips aggressively, now chasing in full that painful grip you’re keeping against him so well. “I’ll keep my eyes closed, please,”
             You contemplate again giving him what he wants, but you figure he’s already getting more than enough. 
 “Oh? You’ll keep your eyes closed? Don’t you want to look at me?” 
             Mark is desperate now, hands moving to the armrests of his chair as he grips them hard, hips wildly stuttering in your grasp. 
 “Fuck, yes.” He lets out, dropping his head with a deep breath and then throwing his head back with an even longer moan. 
             You can’t tell if that was him answering you, or simply reacting to what his body is feeling, and you don’t really care. He’s already there, walking on the thin line of orgasm and willing to take whatever it is you give him. He no longer wants anything, he’s just experiencing. 
             You watch him from behind very closely, the shiver running from his toes straight to his ears was obvious enough.
 “That’s it,” You whisper from behind. “I know you want to.”
             Mark’s entire body tenses against the chair, you can feel it stress from the way his legs spread wider and his hips go from quick thrusts to short, drawn out drags against your palm. The image of him doing that between your legs washes over every single one of your thoughts. He would do that, burying himself so deeply as he spills out inside of you, thrusting in and slowly dragging his hips out, just to thrust in again to push his seed impossibly deeper.
 “That’s so hot,” Mark comments with a deep breath, and only then do you realize the small moan you’d let out during that intense thought of him. His come is spilling out in loads and all you can do is watch him get through it. 
             Finally, after making a mess of him, you smile to yourself. A job well done. 
             You opt to make a grand exit, saying nothing after releasing his cock and sauntering out of the room in silence to leave him to his thoughts. You could still hear his friends screaming through the microphone, and he doesn’t even call out after you. Mark must feel on top of the world right now, because you know that you do.
 ~
             Doyoung came home later than last time, tired and droopy. He found himself drawn to you more than usual, noting that your eyes were sparkling a little brighter upon walking through his door. 
             You put Mark in the back of your head much like you always tried to do when Doyoung was around you these days. Your love for your boyfriend is still blatant and honest when you’re next to him, not at all feeling pity for Mark having to see it. Mark should know who it is you love, despite the fact that you jerked him off a mere few hours ago.
             When Doyoung is next to you, when his arm is around you and his eyes are on you, you don’t question for a second that everything you’ve been doing behind his back will come back on you, and it’ll be well deserved pain. But there’s still a part of you that hopes you can keep Doyoung forever and always be happy beside him. You’re actively betraying him, his own flesh and blood is helping you dig this hole deeper and deeper. So deep that Doyoung can’t even see the bottom where Mark’s got his hands on you. 
             Fully intending to keep them both, you find yourself feeling more fulfilled despite the awful moral. Doyoung isn’t willing to share, but Mark is. And you, you don’t have to share.
 ~
             Saturday was as normal as always. Mark pops in and out of his room, not even once acting as if something suspicious is going on. If anything, Doyoung is a little more happy to see you spend time with Mark when he’s not in his room. It was awkward at first. Mark’s always been shy but it seems like he’s loosened up after realizing you’re a permanent part of the picture for as long as you’re with Doyoung. He’s endeared by the way you bully his brother the same way he does. 
             Even that little crush Mark had on you when he first met you appears to have fallen into more of a sibling-like relationship to Doyoung. He thought it was cute that Mark had a crush, after all, it’s you. Doyoung fucking fell head over heels when you gave him attention and wouldn’t be caught dead releasing his grip on you once he asked you to be his girlfriend. The point is, Doyoung knew Mark had a small crush but was pleased to see it turn into something more casual and comfortable. He likes his life, loves his girlfriend, and loves his brother. Nothing could get better than spending time with the two of you, even if Mark jumps up to go be a recluse in his room from time to time.
 ~
 “Mark,” Haechan grits through the mic. 
 “What?” Mark responds, throwing his arms behind his head as he smiles to himself through the webcam.
 “You should be embarrassed.” Haechan argues. “We didn’t wanna hear that shit.”
 “I muted him.” Jeno says with a shrug through his webcam. 
 “Yeah, me too.” Jaemin follows up, all eyes now falling to Haechan with a red face.
 “I was in a tight situation! I couldn’t tab out!” Haechan defends himself easily, still a darker shade than usual.
 “I think she wanted you guys to hear,” Mark laughs quietly, whispering. 
 “Why are you whispering?” Jeno asks, leaning forward towards his camera as if Mark was about to whisper out again, this time with a deeper secret. 
             Instead, Mark shifts his eyes and changes the subject. As much as he would love to tell his friends that he’s managed to get a handjob (not the foot thing) from his brother’s girlfriend, he’s sure they’d have a little more respect for him. But it feels like a betrayal to say it out loud, regardless of how hot the idea is in his head.
 “Because my brother is with his girlfriend and it’s weird if they know what happens when they’re not here.” Mark deadpans out to his friends, who nod their heads in agreement. 
 “She left her panties,” Mark goes to say, removing his hands from behind his head and sitting up from his relaxed position. “Wanna see?”
             Haechan was, obviously, the first to nod his head and Mark didn’t really need the others to agree anyway, because they’re a group of college guys who are always either talking about getting laid or how to raise their rank when playing competitive games.
 “Damn,” Jeno laughs as he sees the thin fabric come into view. “Are they dirty?” 
 “Oh yeah,” Mark boasts, spreading out the fabric and bringing them close to the camera. 
 “Y’all are gross.” Haechan waves them off, averting his eyes and trying to pretend he’s not interested.
 “Mark’s full of shit, he probably bought those and was being weird with them. That’s definitely his load we’re looking at, guys.” Jeno cuts in. 
 “You heard her talk to him through the mic, there’s no way he’s lying.” Haechan, for some reason, argues for Mark.
 “Uh, no I didn’t. I had him muted the second I saw his hero standing in the middle of the map without moving.” Jeno argues back.
“I lied, I didn’t mute him.” Jaemin finally admits. 
             Mark can’t stop smiling. The fact that he can barely believe what happened himself is enough not to argue. They’re your panties, that’s your scent in them, and that was your hand wrapped around him yesterday. 
 ~
             Waking up on Sunday felt, again, normal. You hadn’t heard Mark through the walls the night before but Doyoung sure did. He mostly drowned out the sounds by putting in his headphones though, unlike what you would have done. Doyoung did, however, wake up hard considering the two of you passed out the night before without so much as a lingering hand.
             To his dismay, you groan at his roaming hands as he wakes you up. Doyoung knew you loved being woken up this way, but he knew to stop if you made a sound like that.
 “What’s wrong?” He says, pulling his hand back and instead, placing it in your waist so that way he can pull you closer.
             You don’t respond, cracking an eye open and immediately feeling your head pound at the sunlight shining through the windows. You feel bad that since thursday, the only intimacy you’ve had has been with Mark despite being in love with the man against you. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that you immediately, physically, feel like shit this morning, you’d be jumping Doyoung’s bones. 
 “Head is pounding.” 
 “Ah,” Doyoung smiles, hugging you against him and rubbing circles against your skin with his thumb. “It’s okay, you can sleep in. I’m gonna go make some breakfast.”
             Your boyfriend’s good mood doesn’t go unnoticed, nor does your headache. You take him up on that offer and immediately fall back to sleep.
             Later, you wake to Doyoung gently patting your cheek. 
 “You want some food? Might help?” 
             You nod, squinting your eyes and sitting up a little too quickly. You glance around as he turns away and heads back towards the kitchen, and then you stretch your arms out. Things feel too fucking normal for you to be doing what you’ve been doing. This headache is well fucking deserved, surely. 
             Making your way into the kitchen, you note that Mark’s bedroom door was open and he wasn’t in there. He also wasn’t in the kitchen or living room. 
“Where’s Mark?” You ask casually, sitting down at the table and rubbing your temples.
 “Said something about one of his friends coming to a city nearby and wanting to go hang out with him. Probably Haechan.” 
             Your heart starts beating in your ears at the thought that you really thought Doyoung wouldn’t know any of Mark’s friends? Sure, you thought that maybe they were just online friends, or maybe people Mark met after Doyoung moved out of his parent’s house, but you recognize that fucking name. Thankfully, you had changed your voice just slightly as you spoke to Mark the other day. Surely this isn’t what would ruin the entire arrangement.
 “Ah,” You groan. “Finally we have the house to ourselves and I have to wake up with a migraine?” 
 “It’s okay, really.” Doyoung smiles, sitting a plate of food down in front of you. “Besides, we both know you like the thrill of needing to be quiet.” 
             He’s joking, you know he is, but it was the truth before this whole thing with Mark started. 
 “If we really wanted to be alone, I'd be at your apartment every weekend.”Your boyfriend adds, planting a kiss to the top of your head and heading towards the medicine cabinet. “Little weird that it has to be my brother that we are keeping quiet from, but whatever.”
 “Didn’t know i’d be this into it, honestly.” You admit, feeling open enough to at least tell him that you’re very into the idea of someone hearing you. You just won't admit that you want it to be Mark.
 “I mean, I personally am not into this type of thing. It’s a little uncomfortable for me.” Doyoung sits down and hands you two painkillers. “But I doubt he’s actually listening. I apologized after the first time and he said he usually just puts in headphones and goes to sleep.”
             You hold back the smile of Mark’s blatant lies towards Doyoung. 
 “So I guess I don’t entirely mind feeding into your little fantasies of being heard, or caught, or whatever.”
             Your boyfriend waves off the conversation with a smile, ultimately willing the fact that it is weird to him out of his head. If that was a new thing you realized you liked, the only way you would have found out is by having someone else in the house when the two of you do those things. Unfortunately, it was Mark. In Doyoung’s head, he was mature enough to discuss it like an adult with his brother. Guidelines and rules, moving Mark in wasn’t going to change his sex life with you, if anything, he had already told Mark to invest in some decent headphones or earplugs because he’s gonna hear some shit. 
             You allow the conversation to die as you work up an appetite. Thankfully Doyoung was an amazing cook, though he only did it one or two nights a week considering how spent his job makes him feel. You’re thankful he cooked this morning, and even more thankful for these two little pills that will hopefully knock your headache out within the hour.
 ~
             Come Monday, you’re thankful you get to work from home. You sleep in and try your best not to think about the fact that Doyoung knows the friends that heard you be intimate with Mark. You’re even more thankful for this week away from your boyfriend’s house because, even though you’ve processed everything, you feel like you should probably be alone for a while and really think about what you’re doing.
             When Mark is around or texting you, it’s hard to think straight because you genuinely want him so fucking bad. And when Doyoung is beside you, or texting you, all you can do is imagine a future with him.
             The once bright, clear future of Doyoung in a tuxedo standing in front of you at some extravagant altar becomes a little more foggy at the thought of where Mark would fit into it. Would he be behind Doyoung, watching him marry you to start a real life together? Would he be somewhere in the crowd, waiting to object and expose you for the awful girlfriend you are? Or even worse, would he not be there at all? Running away and disappearing never to insert himself into your life or his brother’s life ever again?
             You don’t want to think about the future right now. Everything you’ve been doing has been so selfish and so fucking fulfilling that you can’t bring yourself to feel any amount of pity for Doyoung and the way he trusts you fully. You never once gave him a reason to not trust you, and you think maybe Mark hasn’t given him a reason. 
             But god, he shouldn’t trust either of you at all. He’s at work, making money, living his life with a supposed loving girlfriend all while offering his little brother an ounce of freedom. What does he get in response to his hard work and kindness? His brother wanting to tongue fuck his girlfriend? And worse yet, his girlfriend wants it even more than his brother does? 
             Your mind is burning through scenarios all day if you have it in you to feel bad. Another scenario involves you, married to Doyoung and sneaking Mark out of your bed when Doyoung returns from work. Even more scenarios of Doyoung finding out and hating you forever, leaving you and meeting someone better. How could you have them both and keep it going? Is something like that even possible?
             Then you get a text.The glaring reality blows right past your head when you’re expecting it to be Mark but you see Doyoung’s name on the screen. You still feel just as excited though. 
 Doie: good news and great news
You: oh? :o 
Doie: Good news: co worker has family issues and had to drop out of the business trip coming up.
             You were about to question why that’s good news, but then Doyoung quickly texts again.
 Doie: great news: i am now being asked to attend the event and it could get me a pretty big promotion. 
You: You’re gonna go right?? When is it?
 Honestly, the way your heart swells at your boyfriend moving up in the world could knock anyone on their feet. No one would ever guess what you do behind his back, because again, you haven’t lost an ounce of love for this man and you probably never will.
 Doie: I leave tomorrow if I accept.
You: how long is it? do you need help packing since it’s such short notice?
Doie: only three days, so i’d be back on friday and still get to see you this weekend
You: it’s a win/win! i can come over tonight since i’m working from home today.
Doie: you good to sleep over and drop me off in the morning at the airport? i can give them an answer now so they can work out the transport and get the tickets transferred to me. 
You: you didn’t need to even ask me first!! you should have immediately said yes! I’ll be over tonight, i’m proud of you
Doie: love you babe :) 
             And so there it is. The glaring issue about to become a blatant, full blown affair. And like, you don’t want to get it twisted. You are so fucking proud of Doyoung and so fucking glad that everything in his life appears to be rushing him straight to major success, but also, he’s going to be gone for three days and that’s three days to try and get over this whole Mark phase(which is unlikely). By using Mark. By fucking him, specifically.
             It doesn’t help that just a few moments later, presumably after Doyoung lets Mark know the plan, Mark is texting you.
 Mark: Doyoung’s leaving for 3 days
You: yep :) 
Mark: ….do i even need to say it
You: nope
Mark: gonna clean my room
 ~
             Dropping Doyoung off was weirdly bitter sweet. His confidence was through the roof as he kissed you goodbye. He even  asked for a second kiss for good luck after rushing back to you a few seconds later. You knew he’d do amazing for this event, even with it so last minute. Everything Doyoung did was with effort and thought put into it. 
             That was the sweet part anyway. The bitter part is the guilt finally coming to you like it should have weeks ago. The fact that Doyoung is walking off to get on an airplane and Mark is at home cleaning his room to fuck you in it. It’s obvious that you don’t deserve either of them. 
             Still, the guilt hitting you now is unnerving. It took so long to come, and only consumes you when Doyoung isn’t around to nearly witness the infidelity? Shaking yourself of disgust, you head out of the airport and still find yourself pulling into Doyoung’s driveway.
             You sit in your car for a moment. Thinking back on all of those small moments with Mark, wondering now if you still want him or if those moments were enough to satisfy the curiosity of your boyfriend’s brother. Even through the guilt, you still want him. 
             Stepping out of your car and walking up to the door felt too unfamiliar and nerve wracking, hearing your heart skip beats and your body melt away into the hole you fucking dug for yourself. However, the moment Mark opens the door and looks at you, before you could even unlock it yourself, every single guilt ridden thought disappears. 
             You don’t know what it is about him, and surely you’ve never felt this way before, because goddamn is it a blinding kind of feeling. Thinking back as you look at him, he seems different now despite having the same face and body language. Before, Mark was cute with his little crush. Weird even, with the way he lingered for too long to see you kiss his brother. Now, when you look at him, he looks like he isn’t at all the cute, shy little brother. He’s Mark, a man with wants and needs that have your name written all over them. You can’t fucking help yourself, and now being able to indulge yourself fully along side him, Doyoung is drowned out in the back of your mind.
             Mark is still shy and timid in the way he moves but he knows just as well as you do what’s about to happen and isn’t at all shying away from the fact that he’s about to fulfill every dirty little thought he’s had about you since he met you. Hell, since he saw photos of you that Doyoung sent before he ever met you.
             On cloud nine, Mark is timid when he, for the first time, makes a move on you. It’s shocking that he did it at all, if you’re being honest, but you lean into him. All he does is grab your hand, a touch that wouldn’t raise suspicions at all in Doyoung if he were to see it, but to you it’s the most intimate thing he could do at this moment. Because he’s leading you, and his eyes are hungry and unable to pull from you. 
             Not a single fucking word is said, everything already spoken and understood with nothing more than the look when he opened that fucking door. Mark leads you to his room, and the energy in the air is so electrifying it scares you. Never has a touch to your hand, or a leading pull to a bedroom made you feel so weightless. You think back to when you held his length in your hand, you had all of the power that day. Now, you don’t think Mark realizes what he could get away with. You’re falling into the same mindset you have with Doyoung, one where you want, need, and could beg to be touched, but you still yourself from falling too far into it. 
             Mark is even more gentle when he lets your hand go and turns towards you with a deep sigh, as if he’s preparing his entire being for what’s coming. Both of you like a deer in headlights, as if this wasn’t intentional or planned, you smile at him. 
             Mark lets out a nervous laugh at your smile, shaking his head and looking down. He’s already stiff beneath his pants, which are conveniently unbuttoned and unzipped. Even you, shamelessly wearing a dress with no panties. Doyoung thought it was for him, and he damn well did fuck you this morning while on a confident-high before you took him to the airport.
             You knew Mark could hear it, and he didn’t appear to care. Because in all fairness, Mark did not give a fuck. Because he knew you weren’t his at that moment, but you fucking would be before the night is up. The next three days, you’re his. Even if he never has you again.
             That deer-in-the-headlights look from Mark fades as his eyes take you in without hiding it for the first time. You imagine he will fall apart if he were to trace his hands under your dress and find that you are completely bare, you imagine you would fall apart much faster if he touched you at all.
             It happens so fast. Too fast, almost with the way he steps up to you confidently. You just now realize that he’s taller than you when he skews his head and looks down at your lips. His breathing is uneven and you can tell he’s doing his best to be confident because you haven’t made a move towards him at all like you usually would. 
             Looking up at him, you want to reach up and grip his hair. His lips are so plush, clearly freshly coated with chapstick. His skin is practically glowing save for the few blemishes that the fringe on his forehead covers, you find yourself wondering if he’s taking this moment to study you too.
 “I’m having a really hard time holding back,” Mark whispers out, inches from your face. 
 “Then don’t.” You encourage him without doubt, hoping that he can break past that last little boundary the two of you haven’t crossed yet. The one where he can kiss you, touch you, have you. Only because you can’t bring yourself to do it at this moment, for some reason.
             The feeling of his lips touching yours was more bruising than you think he intended them to be, but the desperate feeling was all the same as your own, you think. Never had you actually stopped to think of kissing him or how he would go about it. Like running in blind, you’re learning that Mark knows what to do with his tongue, how to pace himself despite not wanting to, and how to reach up and hold your fucking face in a dreamy way. 
             His hands are cupping your face, kissing you like you’re his girlfriend. He still moves his lips in a hungry and desperate way though, in a way that has you struggling to breathe by the force of it alone. 
             When his hands drop from your face and fall to your waist. Every new place he touches feels like it’s set ablaze. You press forward against his chest, walking him back as you continue to kiss, all the way until he falls back on his bed with an ‘oof’ sound. 
             Still, his face is slack as he stares up at you now, eyes struggling to stay trained on your face for too long as you begin to take off your jacket and reach over to pull at his shirt. 
             So badly you want to see him shirtless again, but he doesn’t argue, eagerly lifting it off of his body and lying back again. 
             Now that the initial intimacy has been established, you finally feel you coming back to yourself, thinking more clearly and finding a small list in your head of things you want and need to do for him. Starting with letting him really look at you.
 “I know how much you like my panties, but–” You smile, standing in front of him and trying to keep your eyes averted from his length threatening to break through his pants. 
 “Let me see,” Mark urges you, tilting his head with a swallow and training his eyes on your thighs. 
             He thinks you must be wearing the prettiest pair today, for him, not for his brother. But when you lift your leg and straddle him, his face contorts to confusion and then to pleasure when you sit against his cock. Of course, with the fabric covering his length, he still can’t tell that you’re not actually wearing any panties at all.
 “You wanna see?” You ask for his clarification, bunching your dress up in your hands and preparing to lift it so he can see your bare folds sitting against him. 
             Mark blinks at you, nodding his head and nibbling on his bottom lip. He’s doing everything in his power not to reach up and grab your waist just to guide you on him. He’s afraid to move too fast, he’s afraid to embarrass himself with how fucking desperate he is for you right now.
 “Look,” You say, nodding between your legs and lifting your dress.
 “Goddamn,” Mark gasps as his eyes focus on the fact that you’re leaving a small wet spot against his pants. That’s your pussy on him. 
            Without a second thought his hands are on your waist, pushing and pulling you forward and backwards against his length. You blink hard at the sensation of the fabric rubbing against your lips harshly, and then open your eyes to look at him again.
             He is still staring between your legs, almost losing himself to this alone. Then again, it’s the first time he’s ever seen you bare and he cannot get past the fact that Doyoung gets to see it whenever he fucking wants. 
 “I can feel it–” Mark chokes, referring to your wetness seeping through his pants and onto him. 
             You smile at him, now moving your hips on your own as you pull his hands away and push them to lay above his head. If he thinks this is good, you want to see how fast he reaches for you again.
             It’s so easy when you lift yourself up, and incredibly cute in the way his eyes follow your core when you lift. He doesn’t even realize that you shove his sweats down and sit right back down, this time coating him in full with your slippery juices. 
 “God, fuck,” He moans in disbelief, and just as expected his hands shoot to your waist and hold you down against him. You’re not sure if it’s intentional or not, but he’s incredibly sexy in the way he moves without thinking. 
 “Fuck?” You question cutely, forcing your hips to slide up his length despite him trying to hold you there. 
 “How are you always so wet?” He questions in a whimper, letting you move and instead grabbing the hem of your dress himself and holding it up so he can watch you slide against him. 
 “How are you so big?” You try to compliment, feeling him between your folds and wondering just how deep he could fuck you if he so wanted to. “So, so big.” You groan out this time, feeling the head of his cock bumping against your clit every few seconds.
             Mark obviously doesn’t answer, his fingers are gripping your dress so tightly and his eyes are burning the image of you doing this into his head. He never wants to forget this moment of feeling you against him for probably the first and last time, because in all realness, this can’t happen again if he thinks too hard about it. 
 “I want to fuck you so bad,” He admits. “Just this once, please.” 
             You nod cutely, swiping his hands away from your dress and lifting it off of you in full.       His eyes are now glued to your tits and whatever it was he was saying is long forgotten as he watches them move when you slide up against him again.
             The way he shuts up is entirely too arousing. You can see him thinking about you, practically able to see him process every part of your body on top of him. 
 “Take your pants off, quickly.” You finally say, frustrated when you slide back and off of him. 
             He does as he’s told when you stand to your feet in wait, and instantly he’s lifting himself and grabbing you, pulling you right back on him. 
 “You’re so fucking hot,” Mark whines, pushing your hips against him and keeping himself upright, careful not to fall back against the mattress so he can plant his lips against your neck. 
             You feel a bite and pull back from him, hips stilling.
“You can’t leave any bruises–” You scold him, and he simply nods and goes back to kissing against your neck and shoulder.
 “Right, wouldn’t want him knowing that I fuck you better, right?” Mark mocks the situation as a whole, using reality as a form of ego boost, hoping to god that you lean into it rather than run from it.
 It makes you a little angry, but you get it. Mark’s confidence must be through the roof because never would you have imagined him speaking to you like this, or mentioning his brother at all.
 “Prove it and maybe i’ll play along.” You try to challenge him, but you know that he might actually be right. His size is definitely bigger than Doyoung’s, but can he work it the same way, or better? Can the shy, timid little brother actually satisfy you the way your boyfriend does?
 Mark pulls back from kissing your neck only for a moment, moving to your lips and wincing at the feeling of your folds sliding against him still, maybe he did get a little too cocky there. 
 “Prove it?” He breathes against your lips, gripping your waist tighter and guiding you up. 
 You already know what he’s doing and don’t shy away from it. Usually there’s foreplay, and you’re sure he wanted to do more than just fuck you, but too little too late. You’re hungry for it and so is he, if the sounds between you are enough to go by. 
 Wrapping your arms around his neck, you lift yourself and allow his hand to disappear between the two of you. You can feel him position himself right at your entrance and all you need to do is sink down. You don’t yet though and instead look at him.
 He stares back at you with anticipation, and when you sink down just a tiny bit, he’s lunging his lips forward and kissing you again. Continuously as you sink down inch by inch, feeling him stretch you out in a searing type of pleasure, Mark just groans into your mouth. You can feel his chest heave against you as he feels your walls start to envelop him and when you’re finally seated, he pulls you down with him as he falls against the mattress.
 There, in a hug, his mindless kissing becomes even more vacant as he holds you in place, fucking his hips up and into you in an aggressive pace. His lips release from yours and his moans come out strangled, breathless, and entirely desperate for you.
 He’s deeper inside of you than any man has ever been able to reach without the aid of a toy, and the head and thickness of it is far better than any plastic could ever be. You imagine you sound just as desperate as he does right now. Unable to wiggle in his grasp, you just take it. You were well versed in that, at least.
 Mark holds you there for at least a full moment, feeling you clenching and drenching his cock in a way that makes the slide easy and pleasurable for him. His hips can move much faster this way, but the fear of coming too quickly forces him to slow his movements and open his eyes.
 Your legs are spred out over his own, his cock is buried into you completely, and you fucking just take it? God, No wonder Doyoung is in love with you. 
 Mark’s arms release you from the hug and he uses one hand to lift your face.
 “Sorry,” He says before getting a look at your face, but he ends up losing any thought in his head when he notes how blown your pupils are, face still contorted in a silent moan as you bounce yourself against him now.  
             What he was gonna say was that he was sorry he lost control for a second, but what he ends up saying now is “Oh my god, I want this so bad.” 
             Despite that Mark is getting everything he wants at this moment, all he can do is look at you and watch you grind your clit against his pelvic bone chasing a pleasure that he knows you’re feeling intensely right now. He thinks of himself in pity, all those nights of wanting exactly this and never knowing that he actually fucking gets to do it.
             Without thinking, Mark doesn’t even know why he does it, but he keeps his cock buried deeply into you and knocks you over. He follows your body, adjusting himself behind you and pulling your leg up and draping it over his hip. There, he slips out of you only slightly to hear you whine at the loss. You’ve gone so silent save for moaning and he thinks he’s in love with you. Stuffing you again, he smiles at the way you throw your head back and look at him from behind you. 
             One hand now reaches around you and cradles one of your tits, the other snaking between your legs and experimentally tapping against your clit. 
 “Damn, Mark,” You manage to say in a more stable voice, realizing that he’s really fucking you in the spooning position now? Of course he fucking would. It’s such an intimate position, and the angle, you could argue, is one of the best you think you’ve ever felt. 
 “Hm?” He hums against your shoulder, feeling your body jerk as he fucks his length into you repeatedly. “Feels good, right?” He asks, moaning himself this time at the way you close your legs around his hand and grind back against him.
             He’s quick to abandon your clit to push your legs open again, draping it right back in the same spot over his own legs. He can imagine how spread out you look, despite not being able to see it in this position. He’s heard time and time that women like this angle, and now’s the chance to test it.
             This time, when you reach back and pull his face to yours, now kissing him with more force than you had before, he imagines the rumors were true. His fingers find their way back to your clit. 
             Mark’s moving his hips with intent now, trying his best to control how good he feels so that way he can focus on yours, and after one particularly deep thrust, he notices that you jolt and shiver.
 “Oh my god, did I find it?” He asks, experimentally pressing his hips up the same way. 
 “Fuck-” You choke out, your body jolting without intent again and feeling shockwaves of what you can only describe as mini orgasms shooting throughout your muscles. “Right there, keep doing that,” You frantically encourage him, mouth falling slack against his lips. 
             He does, pressing his hips harder this time in the same pay. Repeatedly hitting the soft spot inside of you and ultimately sending you into a world of something you’ve, strangely, never felt before in terms of sex. 
             Mark watches you roll your head back, moaning out with a slack and somewhat pained face as he does it. He cannot fucking believe he found your g-spot on the first try and he will be damned to stop now. 
             He focuses now, grunting at the way your walls clench him so tightly each time he hits your spot with the head of his cock. He’s determined to make you come, make you babble out strings of his name and how good he feels. He needs you to feel so good that you’ll never think twice of letting him do this again, and again, and again, no matter how close you could be to getting caught. 
             His hips are going at a pace faster now than he thought possible, and with his fingers working your clit paired with his cock driving into the single most pleasurable spot inside of you, you find your body tensing up and your mind erasing every thought and memory. It’s so much to feel at once but you feel too weak to stop him for just the smallest moment of collecting yourself. 
 “Are you going to?” He asks, broken with his own moans and deep breaths as he does his best to keep pace and work you through it. “I know you want to.” He manages to breathe out, mimicking your own words from the time you had him in the palm of your hand. 
             And you do want to. So you fucking do. You come hard around him, clenching him so tightly that Mark stills his hips in disbelief at the way your body moves when you release. He can barely get the words out when he speaks, feeling you drench him with liquid fire. “You’re squeezing me so tight–” He chokes out, jerking his hips back and trying to pull out of you for his own release.
 “Do not pull out,” You groan as your orgasm continues to choke you of your breath. “Let me feel it, do it.” You demand, pressing yourself back and enveloping the inches of him that he had pulled from you.
 “Fuck. fuck.” He moans out louder this time, hands gripping your waist and holding you against him as he shakes behind you. You can feel him twitch inside of you as he shoots those thick, white ropes of cum against your walls. For a brief moment you remembered when he released from your hand, pressing himself slowly and roughly into your first. You were right. 
             Mark buries himself as deep as he can go, only grinding back a few centimeters before pressing himself flush against you as another spurt paints the flesh inside of you. You feel so full, and he’s packed so tightly in you  that you genuinely think this is the first time you’ve ever actually felt a man come inside of you. Like really feel it. 
             When he’s done, he’s so fucking fast to pull out of you. It shocks you, actually.
 “Where are you going?” You ask, looking behind you as he backs away from you momentarily in a panic. 
 “I–” He pauses, looking at you and the way your eyes look back at him in a different type of panic. “Don’t know.” He says, getting back onto the bed and reluctantly putting his arms around you in a hug.
 “I don’t know how to like, end this.” He admits against your shoulder, still reeling from the fact that it happened, but now in a post-nut state of mind and kind of scared of how much he loved doing that with you. 
 “End it?” You ask, pulling away from him. “You want to stop?”
 “You don’t?” He asks, a glimmer of hope shining in his eyes. 
 “I mean, we both know what we are doing…” You trail off, sitting yourself up and fully aware that the guilt will always hit you at random times, but still, you want Mark. “And we still kept doing it.”
 “Yeah, but–” 
 “But?” You ask, turning your body to face him as he sits himself up now. The nakedness of your bodies is not at all embarrassing at this moment. 
 “Mark, I don’t think I can like, not want you if you still want me.”
             He nods his head reluctantly, wondering if this is you offering the fact that you’re willing to straight up, blatantly, and shamelessly cheat on Doyoung with him.
 “Ugh,” Mark puts his face in his hands and then runs his fingers through his hair. “This is so fucked up.”
 “Yeah, it is.” You admit, leaning towards him. “But If you never tell anyone,”
 “No, no! I wouldn’t.” Mark throws his hands up defensively. “I only feel bad when you’re not here.” He says questioning himself. “I don’t think I’d be able to like, not ever do this again.”
 “So we are both in this same little fucked up boat?” You ask. 
 “I guess so.” He laughs at himself, and then at you. “If he ever finds out, you know i’ll be found in a ditch somewhere, right?”
             You laugh, despite it being the worse fucking joke in the world. Running hand in hand with Mark into a fire that you both fucking searched for. 
 “Well, I’m not gonna fucking tell him.” You say, pressing the important matter at hand. “The point is, Mark, I need you to understand that I’ve never cheated on anyone.”
             Somehow, he lightens the mood.
 “Damn, I must be special.”
             You guess he is.
  ~
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bokyong · 1 year
Text
- How They Convey Their Love
- Stray Kids Reaction
(Not really a reaction but idk what to call it)
Things Stray Kids would do to convey their love
Stray Kids (Boyfriend) x Fem Reader
Fluff - Angst (For Seungmin’s part i’m sorryy (again)
Word Count - 2k+
(Not capitalized on purpose)
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♡CHAN♡
- Composes tracks with you
this boy would totally let you sit in his lap and watch him compose a track. no matter the time of day, he’ll always let you snuggle up with a blanket in his lap or on the couch while he makes his magic. “sweetie, would an a minor or a major work best with this?” he asks while he plays both chords for you. “what’s the difference..” you grumble, smiling at the look of mock offense he gave you. “there’s a big difference!” he retorts, glueing his eyes back to the computer screen and muttering a few words of “the nerve of this girl sometimes..” as he clicks his tongue. you lightly giggle, apologizing and flashing your puppy eyes at him which he could never not forgive. if you’re on his lap, he holds your hand over the mouse, showing you what to do to make background music and how to add the vocals in. one of the major pros of having a boyfriend like chan means you get to listen to the other members heavenly vocals before anyone else. although, even with him demonstrating how to add everything, you still can’t seem to figure it out. “i give up!” you whine, flopping your body onto him in defeat. how does that man make it look so easy? “you’ll get it soon,” he comforts, “potentially..” he adds in a teasing tone. you groan, softly smacking his arm as you both laugh.
♡MINHO♡
- Cuddles 24/7
i whole heartedly see this man as a cuddle type of guy. it doesn’t matter when or what you guys are doing, he just loves to embrace you and to bury his head in your shoulder to smell the lingering scent of perfume you put on. especially if you two are in bed. he takes your body in his arms, squeezing you tight and planting kisses anywhere he can reach. “minho!” you giggle, surprised at the sudden outburst of affection from your boyfriend. he whines a bit, nestling up to you and allowing your head to fall on his chest. “don’t talk about it,” he whimpers, a coat of blush barely dusting his cheeks, even if he loved it, he couldn’t bear to mention it out of pure embarrassment. he already endured a shit ton of teasing from his members when they walked in on you guys. they’re always surprised to see minho being so touchy with someone. he mutters a sheepish “fuck off..” to whoever teases him about his affection, mainly shown to you only. even if he wouldn’t admit it, anyone could tell how much he loved you.
♡CHANGBIN♡
- Let’s you accompany him to the gym
we all know seo changbin is by far one of strongest people you know. he could probably pick you up and throw you with one hand easily. well, if he wants to maintain those muscles, he has to visit the gym.. a lot! of course, he lets his girlfriend tag along. most of the time, you just sit and observe, occasionally sneaking in a few photos to tease him with. although, sometimes, changbin will drag you next to him, trying to teach you how to maneuver the heavy weights. “it’s easy,” he begins. “you just lift them up and keep them near your chest, don’t drop them.” he states, demonstrating like it was a piece of cake. it wasn’t.. the moment your arms touched the metal equipment and lifted them into the air, they were coming back down just as quickly. your boyfriend laughed at your failed attempt, catching the heavy object before it fell to the ground. “that was a lot harder than i expected..” you muttered under your breath, emitting a snort from the muscular boy as he continued his workout. how did he do it so easily? you would never know.. and you weren’t planning on figuring it out anytime soon.
♡HYUNJIN♡
- Sleeps with you after a nightmare
it’s an often occurrence where you’re hopping over to hyunjin, whining about the nightmare that scared you awake. you quietly waddle over to the couch, where he sleeps when he gets home late, in fear he’ll wake you up if he were to get in bed with you. “jinnie..” you pout, clinging onto his arm in fright that the monster in your dream would appear before your very own eyes. “hm?” he mutters, eyelids slowly fluttering open, barely being able to see you in the dark. you stare at his slightly muscled arm which you were still gripping onto, “i’m scared..” you told your boyfriend, looking around the pitch black room, seemingly frightening you more. he tiredly looks up at you, eyes squinted while in a sleepy state, “why, honey?” he asks, blindly reaching for the hand he felt on his arm and holding it in his. “nightmare,” you reply, voice barely above a whisper, gazing at the boys body which you so badly wanted to cuddle into. “hyunjin-ah!” you whimper, shaking him after he almost nods off to sleep again. you watch as he rises off the couch, leading your hand, which was still in his, into your bedroom. without a word, he flops onto the bed in exhaustion, leaving an empty slot next to him which you eagerly take. his eyes were already closed but you could see the faint smile on his lips when he felt the bed dip next to him. through the dark room, you could see his outstretched arms, patiently waiting for someone to fill the empty space. you carefully rest into the open area he had created for you as you felt his hands drop to your back, rubbing circles and immersing you in a comforting hug. “don’t be scared, baby,” he whispers, “i’m right here..” he states with a hint of tiredness evident in his voice. you snuggle up to him, burying your head into his warm chest before slowly dozing off in the warm environment your boyfriend made. “sweet dreams..” he mumbled, even though he knew you couldn’t hear him.
♡JISUNG♡
- Youtube and hugsss
jisung will literally find ANY excuse to hug you every second of his life. “what now?” you laugh when he wraps you in yet another cozy bear hug. he looks up at you with sparkling eyes, “w-well..” he stutters, unsure of what excuse to use this time. “so?” you question, waiting for an answer you knew you wouldn’t receive. “shut up!” he whines, pushing his head into your body and squeezing you tight. you pretend to hate it but both you and him knew you would do anything to be embraced by this cuddly quokka. he returned his eyes back to yours, making a pleading face by puffing out his cheeks and slightly pouting his bottom lip. how could you resist that? “ugh! fine! only because you’re cute..” you groan dramatically. you took his hand, which was wrapped around your torso, and played with the silver rings that decorated his slim fingers. eventually, you leaned back into the couch, away from his grip, after your macbook buzzed with the new “stray kids code episode 3” notification. you loved watching it with your boyfriend, always playfully scolding his reckless behavior. he, of course, followed you down, nestling into your side and hiding his face to brace himself for the embarrassment he knew he would face. surely, the two of you teased and laughed until the video ended. those were some of your favorite moments with your boyfriend.
♡FELIX♡
- Bakes for/with you
you knew how much felix loved to bake. whether it was brownies, cookies, really anything, he always loved baking them for you. this man is so observant, he knows whatever emotion you’re feeling just by looking at your face. if he sees a small pout after recognizing how much of a bad day you’d had, he’ll drag you into the kitchen, taking out the necessary ingredients for your favorite dessert. if it’s one of those days where you’re just collapsed of tiredness on the couch, he’ll simply bake by himself. this sunshine filled boy either runs over to you, or leads you to sit down once it’s ready and makes you politely ask for the delicious dish. “y/n, what do you say?” he says with the widest smile plastered on his freckled face. “please ‘lix!” you laugh after he begs you to “use the magic word”. yongbok examines your face very closely once you’ve taken the first bite, hoping for a satisfying reaction. you haven’t let him down once, always letting out an “mmm!” while your face is stuffed with whatever treat he’s made. “thank you, baby!” you exclaimed, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning in for a well deserved kiss.
♡SEUNGMIN♡
- Comforts you on bad days
now, seungmin wasn’t an idiot when it came to sentiments. he could read you like a book, no matter how much you try to appear happy. “y/n come here.” he said after you tried escaping into your bedroom. he noticed you sulking the minute you walked in through the door and he knew for a fact if you went in that room alone, you would cry your eyes out. “min, i’m just tired..” you lied, pushing the door to your room open. “i didn’t ask, now come here.” he urged. you turned to face him, about to make another excuse until you saw him seated in the couch with his arms wide open. you let out a sad whine, making your way over to him and flopping down on his figure, hugging him closely. he draped his hands around you, returning the hug and soothingly rubbing your back. “what’s wrong, honey?” he asked once he heard a light sniffle coming from you. you whimpered, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. “noo, sweetie!” he said, wiping away the tear that had escaped from your eye and was now rolling down your cheek. “you can talk to me, i love you..” he assured, leaning your head into his shoulder and massaging your scalp. “bad day,” you mumbled in a shaky voice, letting all your tears fall onto the shoulder of his t-shirt as you silently cried. you really didn’t want him to know you were currently sobbing on him.. but something about the way he comforted you made it impossible to maintain your tears. he could feel a wet spot beginning to form where your head was. it hurt him to know you were trying to hide your feelings from him. he was sure it was the guilt you felt, even if you had done nothing wrong. he patted your head, resting his chin on you. “listen y/n.. i’m never going to leave your side. you can cry on me all night if it makes you feel better. but, please don’t feel like you have to go through this alone..” he said, his own voice trembling a little. “i love you so much, baby” you sobbed into him, recounting how horrible your day had been as he listened and nodded sympathetically the whole time.
♡JEONGIN♡
- Lets you sleep in his shirts
sure, it may seem a bit odd, but it’s one of yours and his favorite ways to show love. if he’s ever on a trip for work, or just to see his family in busan, he’ll basically lend you his whole wardrobe! besides the clothes he takes with him, obviously. he facetimes you when he’s about to board his plane, telling you how much he loves you and how he already misses you. “well.. my closet is always an option,” he giggles, quickly hanging up with a quick “love you, bye!” these words are more than an invitation for you to sneak in and steal a shirt or two from him. you like the comfy, oversized ones because they remind you the most of him. you dress in it when you’re about to go to sleep, burying your head in the soft fabric, scented of his cologne. you curl up in bed with his blanket wrapped around your body and drift off, feeling much more safe with his belongings embraced around you.
————————————————————
Didn’t even know I had 115 followers, that’s much more than I expected! <33
Have a sunshine day! ✿
masterlist
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gattmammon · 2 months
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I am literally SO TIRED of Westerners in all social media but also in the destiel meme here the comments are full of "why are they so ass backwards? Didn't they invent homosexuality lmfao" "lol what took them so long" shut up! You don't even know that orthodoxy exists. Also I saw the tag "I thought Mediterraneans approved of mlm affection" boy am I going to blow you your mind that men kissing each other on the cheek and saying I love you is normal here but gay sex is thought as an anomaly against nature. Anyway so many western progressives are so smug.
Djdjfjfjfjfjfur like. Literally. Im gonna make this about italy because ive seen this a l9t about italy as well but the fact that we sometimes get a breakthrough international artist cishet man who wears makeup does not mean thats the norm anymore than lil nas x's existence means glitter is the norm for American black men.
The fact that italian soccer fans full on jump on each other after a goal or cry openly when their team wins does not mean that they would not beat the SHIT of any kid in their vicinity who does not perform gender correctly. Like the whole "men cannot have feelings or touch each other" thing is a Puritan/Protestant neurosis that they project without realising. Gender performance looks different but that doesn't mean that it isn't strictly enforced. I know kids who stopped washing after doing sports because the other kids on their team called them gay for wanting to not smell. I remember this whole lithany by a Southern Italian author of things that get you called a slur in his culture which included "not putting super spicy pepper oil on your pizza" and "using an hair-dryer". And yet tons of people just accepted idk James Somerton talking about how Italy was full of gay men longing for nothing more than banging British kids on the grand tour... But it was just taken at face value until someone actually sat down and considered his pattern of making up shit on the whole.
And like. As usual Greece gets a whole lot of this as well only even worse because people usually have some notion of the Catholic Church and the Italian middle ages being a thing but the Orthodox Church straight up does not exist in their mind. Like Greece went from Ancient to Today in some sort of time capsule I guess. And that's not even touching the misconceptions about ancient Greece as yaoi paradise
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heartlyrins · 15 days
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I wasn’t able to catch the comments on the actual fic but judging from the ones on your post addressing this…it’s very safe to say that none of them actually read the fic. Which is fine, and I’m never going to be happy about making people read stuff which violates their boundaries, but it really doesn’t help their case when they try to claim moral superiority…(and yes that is what they’re doing. The immediate aggression and like. Not even attempting to understand the other perspective outside of their pre established expectations and stuff really doesn’t hide it)
what I don’t think people realize is that the act of tagging dark content as *dark content* is a direct acknowledgment that the work treads into ‘impure’ or ‘immoral’ grounds—which is to say that it’s an acknowledgment that this shit isn’t to be condoned IRL or anything. Like, I’m sorry, if someone is genuinely into incest (to clarify, by that I mean someone who’s like. Into it. Brings it with them IRL? Idk how to exactly define it but I think most of us know what I mean) was tagging the work, they’d wouldn’t really tag it like dark content, nor would it really carry the sinister undertones and sense of ‘offness’ that the large majority of dc fics have in my experience. I’ve gone ahead and read the thing and sure enough IT IS PROPERLY TAGGED AND ACKNOWLEDGED AS DC BY THE TAGS AND WITHIN THE NARRATIVE. THE FIC IS LITERALLY ABOUT HOW TERRIBLE AND TOXIC CODEPENDENCY IS AND AVEN AND READER’S RELATIONSHIP IS A WORST CASE SCENARIO OF TOXIC CODEPENDENCY—
Which, is to say, the way people just act on their assumptions like this is depressing. Lots of Twitter migration tho so not super surprising but it still is. Honestly I could write a whole post or essay on this because there are layers to this…like a delicious onion. but it’s really tiring seeing people just go for the throat whenever they see anything remotely ‘immoral’. Just look at the shit that went on with Andi and Leilei. They’re remaining within their own bubbles and really don’t bother to again, understand dc creators. You did link cinnamonest’s excellent post, but I really doubt any of them read it. It’s just a mob mentality, which thrives off of the immediate dopamine and adrenaline rush whenever they condemn ‘evil’ and whatnot. Idk. But also I suspect that some of the ppl who left those comments have at least read some of ur prior works, and if that’s the case…ah, yes. How I love it when people place horrendous things against each other to argue which ones more immoral. Seriously. Why should you be worried if noncon or if incest is worse?????? Both are bad and that sort of conversation is really morpnic. Are these people actually having these consequences? Yes and no. Not IRL, but there’s definitely stuff happening internally in order to, as always, justify the individuals actions. Again there’s a ton more I can say but this is getting long. I’m personally conservative with tags (tumblr search engine tags) which helps minimize it and stuff. At the very least you’re taking it in stride—I personally wouldn’t interact with them much. In another note, it’s good to see you aren’t turning a thing into a thang. If those people aren’t even going to bother to put on a veneer of courtesy, there is no reason to take them seriously
This^^^ I've been putting warnings and things on my post and I even made a whole post about if you don't like it, don't read it but they still went ahead and read it. (which I'm not even sure if they did)
Some of them immediately goes to reblogging and commenting that I erased his entire personality like I'm sorry that I'm not hoyoverse 😭
Also some of ya'll need to know the difference between having intrusive thoughts and really thinking abt it.
LIKE I DO NOT LIKE MY BROTHER, AT ALL. In fact I'm disgusted by him, the way he acts, the way he looks but still some of the Anons in my asks proceeded to tell me that my brother should get a restraining order against me??
60% of my asks are requests, 30% are people supporting me, 10% are anons who tell me to kill myself.
If you want to send me a Death threat at least don't half-ass it and don't click send anonymously, come at me haters I do not give a fuck plus ya'll thinking I actually sexually like my brother is disgusting and dumb, learn to differentiate between intrusive thoughts and controlled thoughts x
Anyways I don't want to reply to these haters anymore, I'm going to continue writing fics 🙏🏻
🙏🏻BLESS
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thatdesklamp · 7 months
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WAIT OMG-
been reading intrinsic warmth for a WHILE and your writing is top tier!! i always wondered to myself every time i’d read a chapter why the writing just STICKS, yk? i’m a MAJOR book girlie, i read 24/7.
AND THEN IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN I READ ONE OF YOUR TAGS THAT YOU PUT UP ON ONE OF YOUR POSTS WHERE YOU WERE ANSWERING A QUESTION FROM ANOTHER LOVELY READER AND I SEE THAT YOU TOOK AN ENGLISH A LEVEL?
first of all (not 100% sure on this) but i’m pretty sure only british ppl take gcses, a levels, etc. YOU’RE BRITISH?
i feel like i’ve met my other half rn over something so tiny but yeah. IT LITERALLY EXPLAINS WHY YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD:
i could point out the NUMBER of times i’ve seen juxtaposition, symbolism, foreshadowing in your fic to someone if they’d asked me to point it out for them. at first i thought you might’ve done it unknowingly, and then i decided that nope, bc foreshadowing is such a BIG writing technique that it simply couldn’t have been by accident.
it’s one thing to know about a writing technique and another to actually be able to SUCCESSFULLY incorporate it into your writing. if it isn’t clear enough, i’m saying that you did it AMAZINGLY. you’ve got a natural talent and i’m envioussss (in a supporting way ofc 😭).
you should really look into making your own book, and i think you EXCEL at the supernatural aspect of plot in stories. your writing is so unique and different yet so warm, it reminds me of autumn (my favourite season).
idk how to end such a long message, ultimately i don’t have a reason for typing this up and shit. ik you have tons of people probably saying the same thing and it might just get repetitive for you, but i wouldn’t feel comfortable not being part of said bunch-of-ppl-probably-saying-the-same-thing.
oh! and take your SWEET TIME updating. it’s your story, your fic, your writing. the ONLY thing we readers can give you as a payback and thanks is time, patience, and understanding <3333
RAHHH BRITTANIA 💪💪💪💪
Agh. Yes—I’m British (English to be precise, sweet sweet caroline etc), hence the use of ‘u’s in words like ‘colour’ and ‘humour’, and also why everyone’s parents are their ‘father’ or ‘mother’ and not mum/dad. ‘Mom’ feels too American but ‘mum’ feels too rah engerland, yk? I’ve mentioned previously that I’m looking forward to writing fics where the characters are actually from England and where I’m actually allowed to write them the way I talk, mostly. Good lord am I excited.
And yes lol I took English for an A-Level. Bloody smashed it too, if I get to brag, mwahaha. Didn’t take it any further (I’ve also previously said that I’m a # woman in stem uni student, which is true), but I still write a killer essay imo. Give me 10 minutes to do a refresher on ‘Othello’ (it’s been a while okay) and I can talk for donkeys about his tragic fall and how much of a wanker he is. Which he is! I’m a Desdemona defender for life.
You say ‘natural talent’. PLS. No!! God no. Not at all. I wish—that would’ve made it a lot easier, but whatever I can do rn is down to bloody years of toiling away on my shitty little laptop, I promise. I’ve got another anon ask that asked about some writing tips so I’ll do the bulk of them there but my number 1 will always and forever be to practise. Whatever skill I have now has been earned over the many years. You don’t even want to see some of the stuff that will never grace my ao3 page (atla had me in a chokehold through covid and I have never been the same).
But you are genuinely so complimentary: this is so so lovely of you. Thank you?? It’s really weird being someone who writes and also someone who enjoys analysing literature; you’re right, half of the ‘techniques’ are intentional (the number of times I’ve flicked through some chapters’ drafts and thought, ‘fucks sake none of this makes sense, I need to add some decent foreshadowing or none of this will make sense in two chapters’), but also so much of my writing is just thinking, ‘hmm, this doesn’t really feel right. No no, I don’t like the vibe of this. I want this to feel more GRAAHHH and less lalalala. Lemme change this up a bit’. Whether that leads to the whole, short sentences->speeds up the pace of the reader when reading the section->increased tension, mimics actual fight encounter, etc etc (all the stuff you blag on about in eng lit), then maybe that counts as intentional? And maybe not.
Making my own book? That’s lovely of you to say but I also really don’t have any ideas for anything non-fanfic’y! Lol. I love a good bit of canon compliance, that’s my issue. That being said—hey, another eng a level reference—I’ve made multiple references here to being the world’s #1 ‘Atonement’ hater. Unfortunately, it also lives damn rent free in my head and I’ve got the bare bones of a WW2-era, perhaps epistolary, longform fic buzzing around. (Fandom: Marauders. I’m a disgrace but here we go). I’ve written nothing for it and maybe I never will, but that’s one of the only things I can see as being more standalone from original canon. Anyway: it’s the fanfic life for me. Ali Hazelwood’s life is but a distant dream.
But anyway! Thank you again for your lovely words. The next IW chapter will take a very long time, I have to be frank, so thank you for the reassurance that that’s not absolutely disgraceful lmao T_T Thanks again!! <3
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anthraxplus · 10 months
Text
forgive me for writing so much about tumblr but i have a lot of thoughts
here's the thing about tumblr. i've found it interesting how we continue to call our profiles our "blogs" even though they function differently to the common idea of a blog (like livejournal). but in a way, calling our profiles our blogs makes sense. they're our place to post things we've made or repost content we like. it's more personal than twitter, which has an "information" or "discourse" lens applied to it. the focus on twitter has increasingly been to encourage sharing of information (i.e news or opinions). tumblr's focus has always (afaict) been to encourage sharing of our creations, kinda lumping blogging in there as "self expression" or something to that effect. technically speaking, artists should be more at home on tumblr than on twitter.
but people using their blog as ONLY a blog (no reblogs, just their thoughts or creations - like a livejournal) are in the minority on this site, right? make no mistake, i follow tons of artists who use their blog in a very focused way, but mostly we're all reblogging other people's posts, putting their art on our blogs and riffing in the tags on people's jokes. it is very much a site of Content, Things To Share. the fact that we can blog on here almost feels oddly secondary. but, ok. tumblr is a site for people to post their creations/content, and said content finds an audience through being discovered or reblogged.
so why is it so damn hard to find anything?
like, ok, obviously we can do that. type words into the search bar and you will definitely find posts. but dont you often wonder why the hell some posts showed up in your search and others didnt?
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you're telling me filtering searches by top posts of all time isnt showing me the post that has this exact string of text (+- punctuation), but is showing me posts that... have those words in them, scattered, and sometimes not even that exact word ("piss" vs "pissing")?
what about when you try to search for a word or phrase that you KNOW is on a blog in some post, but searching for it brings up NOTHING? i just had to deal with this when searching someone's blog for a specific post i had just seen on my dash - i can only imagine tumblr told me no such post existed because it wasnt tagged with that word.
and all of this feels so obviously wrong, right? even without tags, we should be able to search for words or phrases in a more reliable way on both the site and our blogs. i dont think im alone in the thought that the search function is almost useless - even if it gives me what im looking for sometimes, it can be a struggle, and mostly it just doesnt feel worth it. this is how we can keep ourselves in insular circles and struggle to break out of them. it is literally easier to do this than it is to find new shit.
so, yknow, staff isnt wrong when they say this:
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tumblr does need growth, but not necessarily by attracting new users (though, idk, i wouldn't mind that). tumblr needs internal growth. this site is stuck in the early 2010s in a way that is baffling to me, and it has continuously failed to adapt to its userbase's needs in a way that honestly doesnt make sense, and when they do change something, it just ends up causing more strife between staff and users.
so, for example: tumblr needs money to keep functioning, obviously. the common practice is to have ads on the site. but oops, the ads suck and everyone hates them. ok, allow users the option to pay to get rid of ads. but oops, a lot of people dont want to give money to the site that continuously breaks itself (among many other complaints). ok, meet users in the middle and allow them to pay to advertise their stuff - this should be, like, the perfect mix of everything, right? being able to advertise your content on the content site? but oops, this is only a good option because finding new content is so goddamn hard that random people shoving their posts onto your dash is the only remaining viable option. when you have to rely on pure chance/luck for your posts to even be found, even when you do everything in your power to increase their visibility, you're not gonna want to stay here.
i feel like addressing the search function should be the staff's top priority before they implement anything else. we need to be able to find content on the content site. i think thats pretty obvious. once it works the way it already should have, then they can worry about what comes after. i think people feel this animosity with staff because we're struggling to continue to use this site while they struggle to find ways to get money out of us. i think if people felt they could actually use tumblr in the way it intuitively feels like it should be used, that kind of animosity would be more rare*. but until we get that, any change to the site is going to feel wrong.
fwiw though, i'm glad to see staff say that the site basically doesn't work. like. goddamn. took them long enough. i just hope (probably baselessly) that their acknowledgement of this issue will lead to some fixes that benefit the foundational usage of the site.
*yes, there is animosity towards staff for other reasons - like, yknow, how innocuous selfies of trans women get flagged as "mature" (among other things) - but that's an issue of culture/enforcement and not necessarily the raw function of the site, so i feel like it's best suited for a different post
tl:dr PLEASE FIX THE FUCKING SEARCH FUNCTION, IT NEVER SHOULD'VE BEEN ALLOWED TO BE THIS BAD AND I THINK ITS ISSUES HAVE BEEN A MAJOR REASON FOR TUMBLR'S STEADY DECLINE
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shirogane-oushirou · 3 months
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AAAAAAAAAAA RO!!! BESTIE!!!! YOUR TAGS ARE DESTROYING ME RN /POS
I just had to send you an ask in response because oouughghghhhh... my feels... 🥺💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
I actually never realized how much I look like Java until I put our faces next to each other on that moodboard!!! The resemblance between us is so uncanny - but maybe that's why they've been giving me such good gender vibes lately ☺️ Amber resembles me quite a bit as well according to another friend, which is awesome to hear as an aspiring non-human shapeshifting critter!! Seriously, I'm so thrilled that you guys see it, too!! My gender euphoria levels shot THROUGH THE ROOF when you told me that...!!!
YOUR COMPLIMENTS ON MY PHOTO TOO... *SNIFF*... 😭🫂💖 I really love how my glasses look on me!! Last time I went to the optometrist, I tried to pick frames that I felt suited me, and that happened to take me into the men's section!! My mom was a bit confused by it, but those frames spoke to me right away 🥰 I didn't care that they were supposed to be frames for prescription sunglasses!! Besides, my lenses tint in the sunlight anyway so 😎✨️✨️✨️
I saw the tags you left on my art comm too, and I SO AGREE WITH YOU. I TOTALLY GET IT. I have a ton of Rockstar gifs and screenshots saved to a folder, and I adore the shit outta them all, but... ever since I discovered my guy's gender identity, if he doesn't have scruffy facial hair or a fuzzy chest patch, or those soft, hairy limbs... or his precious top surgery scars that he's so proud of?? He feels kinda like a different Cookie to me LOL
Basically, if he ain't hairy, transmasc or genderfluid, then he ain't my husband 😌💖✨️✨️ I think my version of him really suits the voice he has in C.R.K too!! A rough, rugged old man with passion and energy to spare, but who's finally starting to settle down a bit, too... he's not quitting the rock scene, not by a long shot - but he is a bit more inclined to blow things off and disappear if Java needs him (or if he misses them enough ☺️💖). He's an absolute menace in such a playful way, and I'm so attached to him, honestly... my handsome rock beauty 🥰💖💖💖💖
AAAAAAAAAAANYWAYS. This has been my involuntary Rockstar Supremacy ted talk!! Thank you for attending since you had no choice 🤣 /lh
And as always, I appreciate your tags and comments on my stuff!! I get so happy and flappy when I see that you rbed my stuff cuz I get to read all your awesome thoughts, hehe 🤗✨️
♡• @rockstars-babe •♡
NO IT'S SO REAL THO!!!! i pogged when i saw your face next to java's akjsndfkjnsf like?????? oh they're LITERALLY just reffie ok ok ok LMAO. and i can definitely see you in amber too!!!! idk i just feel like your s/is fit you so clearly despite having such drastically different designs, it's Wild!!!
god, i really need to take that approach when i start looking into getting new frames sometime soon ;;; that's such a nice way of thinking about it. like. if you're going to put that much investment into something you're expecting to wear for a number of years straight, may as well get some that are cool as shit KJNDFKJN and have the most comfortable vibes, gender be damned.
it's so odd, bc i've mostly known rockstar through you, and 90% of the time it's been CRK rockstar... but as soon as you really 'discovered' him, it's like a switch flipped ksjndf. it just fits him so well!! and i'd especially trust that view from someone who knows as much about him as you clearly do, from all of your talk about the new game >:)
and the voice thing!!!!! that's so odd too!!!!! when i was doing that "give me a series and i'll find an f/o" ask game, i listened to a couple of his voice lines for curiosity's sake. and his voice was like... it felt like it could grow on me, but his visual image and his voice were just a little... out of sync? if that makes sense? they weren't quite lining up w each other. but as SOON as you posed the topless comm of him i was like :0 OH. THIS IS WHO THAT VOICE BELONGS TO. JKNASFKJN.
i love reading your gushes about him; you have SUCH passion for him and for everyone who makes up your cookie family with and around him. 😭 it's why i like to really consider what i say in the tags; i want to match that energy! and it's why i look forward to when YOU rb stuff!!! you put just as much passion into appreciating everyone else's ships!! you just have so much passion in general and it's something i admire about you 🥺🥺🥺
(though i would 100% be behind if you decided to not pressure yourself so much KJNSDKFJN ;; you're dealing with so much outside of selfshipping, and you should feel able to come on here and Just Chill without feeling like you have to put 200% effort into replies and tags ;w; )
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theliterarywolf · 2 years
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So someone I knew in college was posting about how she's going through a really rough time. Her roommate decided to stiff her with the apartment rent, trash her stuff and dip out unexpectedly and sounds like she's one of those "woke performers" who is secretly racist as hell.
I genuinely hope she's safe and although I don't have a ton, I sent her some money. It's not a lot but she said every little bit could help. And I like to help people when I can. I'm not looking for thanks or recognition, just wanting to help friends.
My college acquaintance is a very talented black woman (idk what her exact sexuality is but she's not straight. She uses an umbrella word which is absolutely fine for her to use, I'm just not comfortable with that q word.) Obviously she's very upset about the situation where her former friend (white) is not being abusive
But now I notice she's posted a ton of stuff on her story about how white women can never know true oppression and you *should* compensate your black friends for emotional burdens. I'm not saying she doesn't have any point at all, but gotta be honest. . . if I saw stuff like "as a non black person, you owe it to black people to give them money for their suffering," before giving her money, I probably wouldn't have. At the end of the day, I wish her the best and I hope the money helps her.
But idk that kind of phrasing really sours what I meant to be just generosity to help someone out.
I... hate when people try to turn matters of support and aid into a 'if you're non-*insert whatever race the OP is* and you don't help, you're racist'.
It's the biggest turn-off in the world and it automatically makes me scroll that much faster. And I say this as a Nigerian-American woman.
I even remember reading through a thread of screenshots during the first few months of the pandemic where this Black American girl who had some kind of Patreon-like service where she taught subscribers how to grow marijuana and roll joints and she was upset that her donations had gone down (obviously due to people being unable to work). But she went off on a tirade talking about 'all y'all racist white ppl who look at my shit without donating need to gtfo. If you're white, it's your obligation to donate to black ppl!!'
And it's just like... Honey, no one owes you anything. And trying to turn it into 'if you're white/non-*insert whatever race the OP is* then you HAVE to support me!!' just puts a bad light onto anyone who is also in that racial background.
It's why anytime I scroll through the trending Fiction/Fictional Literature tag on Twitter and see people talking about 'Hi, I'm X and I'm a *insert whatever race the OP is*. BUY MY SHIT, YOU OWE ME', I scroll that much faster.
The bad taste from similar sentiments is why after one of my earlier teaching interviews (that I bombed) and the principal was giving me advice on what to do better next time, when one of his points of advice was 'one thing you can say to really sell yourself is talk about how you're black professional and how much a school should feel obligated to hire you'... I pretty much checked out mentally.
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okay so im thinking about your 🏠 imodna au and i feel like they couldn’t meet ALL the bells hells as roommates at once (because that’d be a lot of roommates to get at once lol) so if you don’t mind here’s some other ways they could meet people i’d love to hear your thoughts on because your writing mind is genius
i feel like chet does actually have to be the roommate (or the first, i do agree they all end up moving in eventually) but like. he sees the ad for another roommate and he answers it. and they end up with this curmudgeonly old guy. and i feel like imogen especially keeps telling laudna she’s gonna kick him out (on days when chet is being especially frustrating) and laudna is just like, darling. first of all no you won’t, but second of all, what if he left and just died of old age? how would you feel then? and so imogen puts up with him (until she finally realizes that ofc she does like him, beneath it all)
imogen and laudna have great minds for design and what they want to do. what they don’t have? strength! so that’s where ashton comes in for sure. he’s not technically a construction worker, sure, but they’ll take any job you offer them and he’s a whole lot cheaper too (and shit they’re good at it? and actually beneath their tough demeanor they’re really cool and nice too)
i feel like FCG always has to come along with ashton so i guess they’re just a friend who maybe just tags along one day? maybe ashton mentions that they think FCG would like their new clients?
imogen is at a flea market one day (with laudna of course, laudna keeps her from getting too anxious in crowds) to get barter for some cheap decor and she sees fearne steal something. she wouldn’t care except she was just about to buy it—she chases fearne down and tries to convince fearne to give it to her or she’ll turn fearne in (once fearne realizes that imogen is not really a do-gooder/snitch type and in fact just really wants whatever she just stole, fearne instantly adores her. she does not give imogen the item, but helps her look around the flea market and get good deals on similar things (and sometimes steals things for imogen although imogen doesn’t encourage this))
maybe when they have a second bedroom open, orym is the next to take it? it’s been very interesting watching cr3 versus the fanon version of him because im so used to fanon that im like “oh yeah he moves into town all sad and lonely because of will’s death (and/or not being with Dorian anymore)” but im behind in cr3 and im at the point where they’re talking about the fact he’s actually the most normal/stable of them all and tbh that’s true (although he obviously is hiding all his shit) but for those reasons idk what fits for a good way to get orym into this au
so yeah some of these ideas make more sense than others in my brain so I’d love to hear your thoughts
I hope it’s okay that I decided to tweak your idea, im just avoiding homework and really love all your aus but am especially excited about this new one so my brain was like “ahh them all becoming roommates at once would be awesome but also a little chaotic, how could they all slowly be incorporated to the au over time?”
It's absolutely okay!
I actually think that Chetney is someone they hire to help them, ya know because he's good at working with wood and there's a shit ton of waterlogged floorboard in the house. And over time, you're so right, the two of them do grow begrudgingly fond of him to the point that when construction is almost over, they offer him the extra attic room.
Oh my god I love the idea of Ashton being a construction worker and FCG being their best friend that just goes everywhere that they do (I love the idea of modern au FCG being in a wheelchair and maybe Ashton learned construction and shit to help build ramps and lifts for them). And the same thing happens, construction is almost done and Imogen offers the two of them a room.
Orym is probably the only one who responds to the roommate ad. He doesn't know much about construction, but he needs a cheap place to live. And he's the connection between the witches and Fearne, when they find out that Orym and Fearne are friends, she moves in too. So everyone but Chetney is doubled up in rooms.
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girl-by-the-lake · 2 years
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Pls don't get me started on Souya plsolOlzpls
You… You want an angry rant about… Angry?
I don't know if this makes sense and I got a little lost, but I'm a bit lightheaded and sooo this is... what it is. *shrug* good fucking luck making sense of anything.
*Image all of this is in all caps. It’d be a bit much if it was actually written in all caps… but I’m screaming in my head. :)*
MY LITTLE BOY BLUE NEEDS MORE LOVE, GOT IT?!, AND HERE’S WHY! >:(
Souya canonically carries around bandaids/plasters, which shows he’s thoughtful towards others in wanting to look after them when they’re hurt. It also shows that he can plan ahead, and fuck yeah we stan a bitch that has the braincells to not only respond to the current moments, but to think and plan ahead for future troubles! Souya’s better at that than even the one who can literally *go to the future and sometimes see the future*, so what the fuck is *his* excuse for not saving his friends?!
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS SO FUCKING AWESOME AND NOT LOOKED AT ENOUGH?! SOUYA CAN COOK! Maybe this steals my heart more because I can’t cook for SHIT, but man’s is good enough at cooking and whipping up the best goddamn ramen to own his ramen shop at 20 something with Nahoya. LIKE WHAT?! A ramen shop?! In Japan!? Do you know how competitive that market is?! I sure as fuck don’t, but I know there were a shit ton of them when I was in Tokyo! So he is good enough at what he does, that he is able to thrive along with his business! Souya has brains, beauty, AND he can cook! How is everyone’s heart not stolen?!
Now, I know Souya’s kind of quiet and is nicknamed “Angry” for a reason but, haven’t you seen his smiling panels?! When he does smile, it’s the most rewarding and precious thing ever! How can you not want to wrap him up in your arms or in a blanket and just cuddle?
Meanwhile, you got this zebra looking ass, acting like he’s sooo cool sucking on a lollipop. Souya is so cool, his hair turned *blue*. (Ever heard the phrase ~cool blue~ anyone?).
Not to mention some other brothers who supposedly ~control Roppongi~. Souya took them down, no problem, and he only cried a little. Me writing these few sentences down is longer than their fight lasted, so that’s all the thought I care to waste about them.
But you know what’s even BETTER about Souya?! (and istg, if I jinx this… you won’t hear from me ever again… aka a week+, idk, imma disappear) - HE’S ALIVE (in the Tok Rev universe), BITCHES! So you can take your Baji’s, your Draken’s, your Shinichiro’s, Izana’s, Emma's, and go, because as of right now, at least Souya has a future and is still alive enough to get… well… angry. ;) (please oh please, don’t let this be a jix :’( ) 
Just by being Souya, he helps break apart and challenge some of the most damaging parts of toxic masculinity by his ability to be emotional and strong at the same time, taking on that more “feminine” role of caring for others by patching them up and by being a damn good cook.  
But what gets me even more upset, even more than ~hE’s UnDeRrAtEd~... I just want to see Souya in the Souya tags! Why is trying to find him in his own damn tags just as hard as me trying to find a life purpose?!  And I’m upset because I want all the cute content for him, but it’s limited which means *I* have to write it, and that’s not nearly as fun or as well written as when someone else does it! AND I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF I’M THE WRITER OF ALL THE CUTE HEADCANONS! HE’S FANTASTIC, PLEASE GIVE ME MORE CONTENT I’M FUCKING PARCHED!
TLDR: GIVE SOUYA MORE LOVE GODDAMNIT! HE ALREADY HAS TO SHARE EVERYTHING BY BEING A TWIN SO STOP MAKING HIM SHARE HIS DAMN TAGS TOO! STOP PUTTING MIKEY, THE HAITANIS, SANZU, DRAKEN, AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT ISN’T SOUYA IN THE SOUYA TAGS IF HE’S NOT MENTIONED IN THE POST! IT MAKES ME VERY… ANGRY!
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piracytheorist · 1 year
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Hi! Just wanting to talk about the Shadows Of Rose DLC!
First of all, your talk of it was amazing, and I loved how you analyzed it completly- amazing work!! I found you while scrolling through the tags for Resident Evil 8, and you've earned yourself a follow!!
Secondly, I'm a little on the fence about them turning Redfield into a villain. I mean, at this point of the universe, he has already lost his younger sister, Claire and her (Boyfriend?? Fwb??? What is Leon to Claire?? Tbh I've played resident evil but I just know Claire died? I didn't get too far into her and Leon's relationship, I only say boyfriend as that's what it seemed like in Resident Evil 2) Friend Leon.
He's also seen that most of the big organizations, The B.S.A.A, The Connections, Umbrella, can't be trusted at all since all three are connected due to the megamycete. Tbh, it's all but fair for him to become a villan- but a villain who destroys things that those three companies are doing.
I never really liked Chris in Resi evil 8 (Coughs awkwardly at the fanfiction I wrote) because he was basically just hiding things from Chris. Why the hell did he not tell Ethan before idk fucking kidnapping his goddamn child?? Oh, and not to mention this whole thing probably wouldn't have happened if Chris LET ETHAN HELP IN THE FIRST PLACE!!
Also, what idiot puts Miranda- a person you know can connect with the megamycete and you don't know if she's dead or not cause you used regular bullets- In the same van as the two people she was trying to kill?! If that isn't the stupidest fucking move known to man then idk what is.
So on one hand, yes, Chris deserves to be a villain cause he's been fucked over by the system. He's lost his sister and Leon and possibly many other friends because of Umbrella and the other corporations. I feel f
On the other hand, Chris is already a fucking villan. He betrayed Ethan's trust, he 'killed' his wife infront of him, he didn't tell Ethan about the entire plan until the end, and after Ethan died, he apparently didn't tell Rose nothing of her. That's a shit move tbf.
Anyways, sorry for just ranting, I thought it was interesting that Capcom would be making Vhris the villain, when he's already halfway twords being one.
My only hope is that he doesn't drag Rose in on this quest for vengeance or whatever it is lol.
Hello and welcome! Hope you enjoy your stay, I love talking when I have a shit ton of feels, and I'm so happy when people enjoy my ramblings :D
Again, I have only seen gameplays of re7 and re8 (and played the main of re8 myself a bunch of times) and absolutely nothing else of Resident Evil in general so I don't know that much about Chris as a character. I tried to make sense of his actions in re8, even wrote a post about it, but this dlc really isn't giving me much to help. I don't even have any explanation as to why he'd put Miranda in the same van with Ethan and Rose in the first place, I'm guessing it was a second van? And she just killed everyone there and just attacked the other van that Rose and Ethan were in? Idk and at this point I don't know if I want to care XD
And yeah if you ask me, Chris did the exact opposite of what Ethan asked him to do. I saw so many people being like Daddy Chris! and I was like I don't know shit about him but it doesn't look like he's fit to be a good parent? Not exactly out of his own fault, like he has seen and been through a lot of tough shit, while trying to help kill bioweapons and focused on the greater good, and I understand the whole feels thing of him having someone to take care of, but if we're being a little rational here, he shouldn't be the sole custodian of a child who can potentially cause mass deaths if she doesn't feel loved enough.
Ethan said with his dying breaths that he wanted Mia to keep Rose safe, he wanted her to be with her mother, and what we got was Chris going like "I can use her to grind Mirander evil guys into paste!" and never reassuring her emotionally. Ethan got a few moments with her and it was all it took for Rose to accept herself, powers or not.
Yeah idk I'm not being here like hating on Chris or whatever, I'm just very between "They're gonna make him a villain" and "Should I care about him and be invested in him?" because on one hand it would make sense with all the writing choices, on the other I don't know if they're bold enough to make such a beloved character a villain. I don't know. Maybe they'll just go that way in re9 and we'll just realize we were being stupid for worrying XD
Never worry about ranting! As I said, the DLC touched me so much and I have SO many things to say about it, so I'm really glad when people prompt me to talk about it!
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bubsub69 · 11 months
Text
Entry 2
14/05/2023 22:47
Well might as well start all entries with how my sleep schedule is, i had an afternoon nap so i might not sleep enough tonight but better than being up at 4am because i tried going to sleep at like 11pm and it went horribly wrong.
Reason for writing today? well while before looking at cute couple stuff like hugging and cuddling would make me cry now a porn video that wasnt even my first time watching made me cry because the couple seemed really happy and having a good time even though the girl was probably laughing cause she ruined the dudes orgasm on his face (video: https://www.redgifs.com/watch/quaintelderlyvireo#rel=tag%3Aruined-orgasm%2Cchastity%2Ca;order=trending)
I guess i should start with yesterday, with the blessing of the folders/briefcases whatever, it was as bad as expected so at least not worse than expectations, a very late start as a lot of people expected followed by a walk a queue to sit down, a small sermon and then speeches from each course. The worst part honestly might have just been the sun, it was blazing hot and i think i got sick from it, my nose was extremely fucked last night and still kinda is. After that we went to have lunch at a crisp 3pm and the food arrived at like 4, thank god my body has a high hunger resistance or i mightve killed someone, i spent a lot of time at the restaurant but at least i got to be with my cousin so it was actually pleasant, at the end we went to the lake garden to take some pictures for some reason and then went home (the for some reason comes from the fact we already had like 40 photos on the camera alone and went to take more).
idk why i wanted to write down what happened yesterday this was supposed to be more about emotions than story but oh well who can stop an autist from rambling.
But going to aforementioned (wow that was the word whos spelling i really had to look up, why am i spellchecking a personal diary? cause fuck you i want to, anyway another autistic rambling aside) emotions, those ribbons made me feel kinda weird when i reread them cause everyone was saying congrats on the hard work and for beating this challenge but i feel like its undeserved cause its not like i put a huge amount of effort studying, i barely passed some stuff which is definetly something im not proud of but yeah i feel like i slacked off most of the year even though ive never missed classes or failed to deliver a project, i guess im just associated with the studying part of school instead of this which is better honestly, even if i get stressed like now where i have a shit ton of stuff to do and am over procastinating as usual, but yeah, a lot of good jobs for a meh performance feels kinda weird.
But enough about school heres an update on D, today is sunday which matches the same day as the day of the call so how was her availability? well she gave me a maybe and then said that apparently her visa is expiring and shes super stressed out, well that seems like something way too complex for an excuse/lie so i believe her more but yeah her moving again is definetely going to make her busy again so i guess no calls for me.
Really feeling like a piece of shit that thats all the care i can muster for it, shes like about to get formally deported and im out here complaining shes too busy for me, and the worst is i decided to get a keyholder on chaster just to satisfy me, it feels like cheating i dont know why, we had some mild texting and a call and ive already like fallen in love and feel like a traitor, but i guess im tired of waiting and it might be for the best to move on if she just wants to stay an acquaintance (well new record for biggest spelling blunder), but yeah i feel like im giving up too soon cause i really liked her and just moving on feels really bad but what can i do when she doesnt show any interest, i mean not only does she not text back she also hasnt asked anything about me, which i guess is kinda fair for most boring person in the world whos hobbies are gaming and youtube, yippy, i guess ill wait again, this time im gonna do a week of no texting to see if she ever sends me something, she will be busy with the moving so she probably wont but oh well whatcha gonna do, not like shed say yes to a call in these circumstances either, i still wish i could help her but i dont think i can just ask dad if he has a contact with the visa man to hurry her process, but i did imagine that cenario
I guess switching to a different type of emotion to put some variety in this yesterday i fucked up the gamepads usb port out of anger but i think i tricked my parents by saying i saved the computer from falling, and on other hardware problem news theres a screw that i think broke the plastic around it so know the case keeps disconnecting from the rest. This was a shitty story but at least its not all about being sad and lonely
Well a bit of a blunder of an ending but oh well heres entry two, if the lady i messaged to be my keyholder replies the update will be here:
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caelumsnuff · 1 year
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i find it kinda interesting that the similar-sized ~smaller fandoms I'm in (a certain twitch streamer, various interactive fiction pieces, certain DnD podcasts/shows), you're allowed to put constructive criticism in the main tags (obv hate will always get people riled up) of the work, but Redacted Audio fandom if you go 'Xavier only seems to have gotten introduced to die; we should have seen more of Lovely's difficulty after turning; Imperium!Asher & David's in Cataclysm felt like overpowered a lot (for a couple that weren't initially a thing in season one of Imperium) especially over Imperium!Milo & Sweetheart's current relationship, etc lol...people get upset, they block, no one interacts.
Idk if Erik deleting the Bright Eyes storyline just frightened people into rarely even offering slight notes (which I know some people were annoying about having an unlikable listener), but it's odd. Everyone seems hesitant to give this man anything but glowing praise for everything. Everything lol. He mentioned thinking of himself as a writer first and previously wanting to be an author, but I wonder if he would even be able to incorporate notes from a professional developmental editor (or even try to). I think he could accomplish a lot by even running plans through with a critique partner or two.
Isn't it odd? Ive been in a shit ton of fandoms, but ive never been in one that is like this staunchly anti-critique/anti-analysis. It's strangely cult-like in the way that voicing dissenting opinions, expressing differences in interpretations, or analyzing the work in a way that is more critique driven rather than theory driven gets you shunned. HUGE swathes of hate mail, death threats, suicide baiting, and so on and so forth for daring to not listen to the Word of God or not consuming the plots and messaging on a surface level. I feel like some of these people never developed critical thinking skills. Hell, this fandom will even hates on you for... liking the villians???? The purity culture in this fandom bro....
I do think the aversion to this stuff is bc of the bright eyes and fred situation, at least in large part. But iirc the reason those videos got deleted was because everybody was arguing over who was really in the wrong. I wasn't participating in redacted fandom spaces at the time, but i know the discord was up back then, so it probably has something to do with Erik actually seeing the bickering. No one can convince me he didn't leave the discord for similar reasons. He's probably not on tumblr or twitter or tiktok or ao3 or whatever fucking hellsite looking at our opinions. And shit, even if he was, that's on him bro. The idea that expressing dissatisfaction, dislike, critique, or otherwise not accepting being spoonfed how we're supposed to feel about the work is somehow going to make him delete content is wild.
Said it before, but if he's that sensitive about his work being critiqued, he should not be posting his art online. And i don't mean that in a mean-hearted way, if seeing people not like/critique your art makes you want to hide it or puts pressure on you to change it, you shouldn't put it up online. Protect yourself from the emotional distress yanno? That's one of the reasons i don't post my own drawings/paintings online. My art is very personal to me, and despite knowing im a very good artist, seeing someone not like it or make fun of it would hurt a lot. So i only post my fics online. At least for now.
Anyways, thank you for the ask. I totally agree, its interesting. And fucking weird.
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honestlyvan · 1 year
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I think I get what you mean about the weird found family stuff. I also don't really love shipping stuff, but, at least in the last couple of years, I find people get real weird about stuff like "oh he's the found family dad" sort of thing. It's hard to describe why it weirds me out, but I think it's that compulsion to give the characters "roles" in the found family stuff, where when I think of irl friends who are as close to me as family, I don't think of them as like a "sibling", they're just in my mind categorized under "family".
Of course this isn't even mentioning the weird sex negative stuff. Sometimes I want characters to have freaky weird sex stuff in their lives! Unsanitized. People into genfic can be weird about that stuff.
Yeah like for me it was the worst during the height of XC2's popularity and the absolute wealth of raging about the anime fanservice game having anime fanservice in it and the desperate urge to Divest From The Queer Horny that came with it. I don't know if the majority of the people perpetuating the moral panic eventually realised they were just useful idiots and the Killing The God That Supplanted Reality franchise was the place to get into endless unnecessary tailspins about sexual purity or not but it definitely put me off on quite a permanent basis in trying to do anything that deals with eroticism in this franchise.
It was all very prescriptivist, it was all very twee, it was all trying so hard to be cuddly and nonthreatening and safe, and it just got so uncomfortable when people were bringing all their deeply sexual baggage into the conversation over a story that, as horny as it was in places, just completely lacked any sort of genuine eroticism to me. The very few things that were hot to me that I was interested in exploring were completely ignored by-and-large, disinteresting to anyone but me, specifically. And I just couldn't get a conversational foothold about them with anyone, so I gave up.
So I kinda have this same problem with XC3 atm where I actually do find some things in it really damn hot and I am embracing the eroticism and then.... I just fail to find people with similar interests so I have no good fic to read and nobody to really talk to about it. (I've dragged two people into XC3 with me to have someone to wordvomit about the OTP to). The overt hostility against sex isn't as present, in my experience, but even if people didn't titter around the sexual aspects of the story as much.... IDK man I am tired and I am not a teenager anymore at this point themes of self-discovery and adolescence and normative pairbonding just don't do shit for me. None of it is queer and weird enough, nobody here is that attractive to me anyway, I'd much rather read gen, but then the gen is also kinda just. Like that lol.
And I know I'm probably biased, I definitely read less Xenofic than I'd like to because I look at how stuff is tagged and the summary and go "is it worth the disappointment" when there's probably good writing being done out there and I'm not giving it a chance b/c I'm fucking bitter. Like it's entirely possible that just like XC1 and XC2 didn't really have a ton of overlap in the fandom, XC2 and XC3 don't also and the things I'm really put off by the hardest are not even a thing in the fandom zeitgeist anymore.
But like man. IDK. The things I want to do with this story and the things people are doing with this story are just... really divergent. This has always been a franchise where I like the worldbuilding more than I like the characters, and then I will have like the one or two characters that I absolutely 100% am completely bananas about and they never get written in ways that I would enjoy reading.
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