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warsofasoiaf · 3 years

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Writing Characters With Believable Military PTSD

I typically write these writing and worldbuilding essays from a dispassionate perspective, offering advice and context to prospective writers from as neutral a point of view as I can manage, with the goal being to present specific pieces of information and broader concepts that can hopefully improve writing and build creators’ confidence to bring their projects to fruition, whether that be writing, tabletop gaming, video game programming, or anything that suits their fancy. While writing this essay though, I struggled to maintain that perspective. Certainly, the importance of the topic to me was a factor, but ultimately, I saw impersonality just as a suboptimal presentation method for something so intensely personal. I do maintain some impartiality particularly in places where historical or academic context is called for, but in other respects I’ve opted for a different approach. Ultimately, this essay is a labor of love for me, love for those who suffer from military PTSD, love for those who love those who suffer from it, and love for writers who want to, in the way that they so choose, help those two other groups out. Thus, this is a different type of essay in certain segments than my usual fare; I hope the essay isn’t an unreadable chimera because of it.

This essay focuses on military-related PTSD. While there are some concepts that translate well into PTSD in the civilian sphere, there are unique elements that do not necessarily fit the mold in both directions, so for someone hoping to write a different form of PTSD, I would recommend finding other resources that could better suit your purposes. I also recommend using more than one source just in general, trauma is personal and so multiple sources can help provide a wide range of experiences to draw upon, which should hopefully improve any creative work.

And as a final introductory note, traumatic experiences are deeply personal. If you are using someone you know as a model for your writing, you owe it to that person to communicate exactly what you are doing and to ask their permission every step of the way. I consider it a request out of politeness to implore any author who uses someone else’s experiences to inform their writing in any capacity, but when it comes to the truly negative experiences in someone’s life, this rises higher from request to demand. You will ask someone before taking a negative experience from their own life and placing it into your creative works, and you will not hide anything about it from them. Receiving it is a great sign of trust. The opposite is a travesty, robbing someone of a piece of themselves and placing it upon display as a grotesque exhibit. And if that sounds ghoulish and macabre, it’s because it is, without hyperbole. Don’t do it.

Why Write PTSD?

What is the purpose of including PTSD in a creative work? There have been plenty of art therapy actions taken by those who suffer PTSD to create something from their condition, which can be as profound for those who do not have it as it is therapeutic for those that do, but why would someone include it in their creative works, and why is some no-name guy on the internet writing an essay offering tips as to how to do it better?

Certainly, one key element is that it’s real, and it happens. If art is to reflect upon reality, PTSD suffered by soldiers is one element of that, so art can reflect it, but what specifically about PTSD, as opposed to any other facet of existence? Author preference certainly plays a factor, but why would someone try to include something that is difficult to understand and difficult to portray? While everyone comes to their own reason, I think that a significant number of people are curious about what exactly goes on in the minds of someone suffering through PTSD, and creative works allow them a way to explore it, much the way fiction can explore scenarios and emotions that are either unlikely or unsafe to explore in reality. If that’s the case, then the purpose of this essay is rather simple, to make the PTSD examination more grounded in reality and thus a better reflection of it. But experiences are unique even if discernable patterns emerge, so in that sense, no essay created by an amateur writer with no psychological experience could be an authoritative take on reality, the nature of which would is far beyond the scope of this essay.

For my own part, I think that well-done creative works involving PTSD is meant to break down the isolation that it can cause in its wake. Veterans suffering may feel that they are alone, that their loved ones cannot understand them and the burden of trying to create that would simply push them away; better instead to have the imperfect bonds that they currently have than risk losing them entirely. For those who are on the outside looking in, isolation lurks there as well, a gulf that seems impossible to breach and possibly intrusive to even try. Creative works that depict PTSD can help create a sense that victims aren’t alone, that there are people that understand and can help without demeaning the sense of self-worth. Of course, another element would be to reduce the amount of poorly-done depictions of PTSD. Some creative works use PTSD as a backstory element, relegating a defining and important element of an individual’s life as an aside, or a minor problem that can be resolved with a good hug and a cry or a few nights with the right person. If a well-done creative work can help create a bridge and break down isolation, a poorly-done one can turn victims off, reinforcing the idea that no one understands and worse, no one cares. For others, it gives a completely altered sense of what PTSD is and what they could do to help, keeping them out, confusing them, or other counter-productive actions. In that sense, all the essay is to help build up those who are doing the heavy lifting. I’m not full of so much hubris as to think this is a profound piece of writing that will help others, but if creators are willing to try and do the hard work of building a bridge, I could at least try to help out and provide a wheelbarrow.

An Abbreviated Look At The Many Faces and Names of PTSD Throughout History

PTSD has been observed repeatedly throughout human history, even when it was poorly understood. This means that explorations of PTSD can be written in settings even if they did not have a distinctly modern understanding of neurology, trauma, or related matters. These historical contexts are also useful for worldbuilding a believable response in fictional settings and scenarios that don’t necessarily have a strict analogue in our own history. By providing this historical context, hopefully I can craft a broad-based sense of believable responses to characters with PTSD at a larger level.

In the time of Rome, it was understood by legionnaires that combat was a difficult endeavor, and so troops were typically on the front lines engaged in combat for short periods of time, to be rotated back for rest while others took their place. It was considered ideal, in these situations, to rotate troops that fought together back so that they could rest together. The immediate lesson is obvious, the Romans believed that it was vital for troops to take time to process what they had done and that was best served with quiet periods of rest not just to allow the adrenaline to dissipate (the "combat high"), but a chance for the mind to wrap itself around what the legionnaire had done. The Romans also recognized that camaraderie between fellow soldiers helped soldiers to cope, and this would be a running theme throughout history (and remains as such today). Soldiers were able to empathize with each other, and help each other through times of difficulty. This was not all sanguine, however, Roman legions depended on their strong formations, and a soldier that did not perform their duty could endanger the unit, and so shame in not fulfilling their duty was another means to keep soldiers in line. The idea of not letting down your fellow soldiers is a persistent refrain in coping with the traumas of war, and throughout history this idea has been used for both pleasant and unpleasant means of keeping soldiers in the fight.

In the Middle Ages, Geoffroi de Charny wrote extensively on the difficulties that knights could experience on the campaign trail in his Book of Chivalry. The book highlights the deprivation that knights suffered, from the bad food and poor sleep to the traumatic experience of combat to being away from family and friends to the loss of valued comrades to combat and infection; each of these is understood as a significant stressor that puts great strain on the mental health of soldiers up to today. De Charny recommended focusing on the knightly oaths of service, the needs of the mission of their liege, and the duty of the knight to serve as methods to help bolster the resolve of struggling knights. The book also mentions seeking counseling and guidance from priests or other confidants to help improve their mental health to see their mission through. This wasn’t universal, however. Some severely traumatized individuals were seen as simple cowards, and punished harshly for their perceived cowardice as antithetical to good virtue and to serve as an example.

World War I saw a sharp rise in the reported incidents of military-related PTSD and new understandings and misunderstandings. The rise in the number of soldiers caused a rise in cases of military PTSD, even though the term itself was not known at the time. Especially in the early phases of the war, many soldiers suffering from PTSD were thought to be malingering, pretending to have symptoms to avoid being sent to the front lines. The term “shell shock” was derived because it was believed that the concussive force of artillery bombardment caused brain damage as it rattled the skull or carbon monoxide fumes would damage the brain as they were inhaled, as a means to explain why soldiers could have physical responses such as slurred speech, lack of response to external stimuli, even nigh-on waking catatonia, despite not being hit by rifle rounds or shrapnel. This would later be replaced by the term “battle fatigue” when it became apparent that artillery bombardment was not a predicative indicator. Particularly as manpower shortages became more prevalent, PTSD-sufferers could be sent to firing squads as a means to cow other troops to not abandon their post. Other less fatal methods of shaming could occur, such as the designation “Lack of Moral Fibre,” an official brand of cowardice, as an attempt to shame the members into remembering their duty. As the war developed, and understanding grew, better methods of treatment were made, with rest and comfort provided to slight cases, strict troop rotations observed to rotate men to and from the front lines, and patients not being told that they were being evacuated for nervous breakdown to avoid cementing that idea in their mind. These lessons would continue into World War II, where the term “combat stress reaction” was adopted. While not always strenuously followed, regular rotations were adopted as standard policy. This was still not universal, plenty of units still relied upon bullying members into maintaining their post despite mental trauma.

The American military promotes a culture of competence and ability, particularly for the enlisted ranks, and that lends itself to the soldier viewing themselves in a starkly different fashion than a civilian. Often, a soldier sees the inability to cope with a traumatic experience as a personal failure stemming from the lack of mental fortitude. Owning up to such a lack of capability is tantamount to accepting that they are an inferior soldier, less capable than their fellows. This idea is commonly discussed, and should not be ignored, but it is far from the only reason. The military also possesses a strong culture of fraternity that obligates “Don’t be a fuckup,” is a powerful motivating force, and it leads plenty of members of the military to ignore traumatic experiences out of the perceived need not to put the burden on their squadmates. While most professional militaries stress that seeking mental health for trauma is not considered a sign of weakness, enlisted know that if they receive mental health counseling, it is entirely likely that someone will have to take their place in the meantime. That could potentially mean that another person, particularly in front-line units, are exposed to danger that they would otherwise not be exposed to, potentially exacerbating guilt if said person gets hurt or killed. This is even true in stateside units, plenty of soldiers don’t report for treatment because it would mean dumping work on their fellows, a negative aspect of unit fraternity. Plenty of veterans also simply never are screened for mental health treatment, and usually this lends to a mentality of “well, no one is asking, so I should be fine.” These taken together combine to a heartbreaking reality, oftentimes a modern veteran that seeks help for mental trauma has often coped silently for years, perhaps self-medicating with alcohol or off-label drug usage, and is typically very far along their own path comparatively. Others simply fall through the cracks, not being screened for mental disorders and so do not believe that anything is wrong; after all, if something was wrong, surely the doctors would notice it, right? The current schedule of deployments, which are duration-based and not mission-based, also make it hard for servicemembers to rationalize their experiences and equate them to the mission; there’s no sense of pairing suffering to objectives the way that de Charnay mentioned could help contextualize the deprivation and loss. These sorts of experiences make the soldier feel adrift, and their suffering pointless, which is discouraging on another level. It is one thing to suffer for a cause, it’s another not to know why, amplifying the feelings of powerlessness and furthering the isolation that they feel.

Pen to Page - The Characters and Their Responses

The presentation of PTSD within a character will depend largely on the point-of-view that the author creates. A character that suffers from PTSD depending on the presence of an internal or external point-of-view, will be vastly different experiences on page. Knowing this is essential, as this will determine how the story itself is presenting the disorder. Neither is necessarily more preferable than the other, and is largely a matter of the type of story being told and the personal preference of the author.

Internal perspectives will follow the character’s response from triggering event to immediate response. This allows the author to present a glimpse into what the character is experiencing. In these circumstances, remember that traumatic flashbacks are merely one of many experiences that an average sufferer of PTSD can endure. In a visual medium, flashbacks are time-effective methods to portray a character reliving portions of a traumatic experience, but other forms of media can have other tools. Traumatic flashbacks are not necessarily a direct reliving of an event from start to finish, individuals may instead feel sudden sharp pains of old injuries, be overwhelmed by still images of traumatic scenes or loud traumatic sounds. These can be linked to triggers that bring up the traumatic incident, such as a similar sight, sound, or smell. These moments of linkage are not necessarily experienced linearly or provide a clear sequence of events from start to finish (memory rarely is unless specifically prompted), and it may be to the author’s advantage to not portray them as such in order to communicate the difficulty in mental parsing that the character may be experiencing. Others might be more intrusive, such as violently deranged nightmares that prevent sleep. The author must try to strike a balance between portraying the experience realistically and portraying it logically that audience members can understand. The important thing about these memories is that they are intrusive, unwelcome, and quite stressful, so using techniques that jar the reader, such as the sudden intrusive image of a torn body, a burning vehicle, or another piece of the traumatic incident helps communicate the disorientation. Don't rely simply on shock therapy, it's not enough just to put viscera on the page. Once it is there, the next steps, how the character reacts, is crucial to a believable response.

When the character experiences something that triggers their PTSD, start to describe the stress response, begin rapidly shortening the sentences to simulate the synaptic activity, express the fight-flight-freeze response as the character reacts, using the tools of dramatic action to heighten tension and portraying the experience as something frightful and distinctly undesirable. The triggering incident brings back the fear, such as a pile of rubble on the side of the road being a potential IED location, or a loud firework recalling the initial moments of an enemy ambush. The trauma intrudes, and the character falls deep into the stress response, and now they react. How does this character react? By taking cover? By attacking the aggressor who so reminds them of the face of their enemy? Once the initial event starts, then the character continues to respond. Do they try to get to safety? Secure the area and eliminate the enemy? Eventually, the character likely recognizes their response is inappropriate. It wasn’t a gunshot, it was a car backfiring, the smell of copper isn’t the sight of a blown-apart comrade and the rank odor of blood, it’s just a jug of musty pennies. This fear will lead to control mechanisms where the victim realizes that their response is irrational. Frequently, the fear is still there, and it still struggles with control. This could heighten a feeling a powerlessness in the character as they try and fail to put the fear under control: "Yes, I know this isn’t real and there’s nothing to be afraid of, but I’m still shaking and I am still afraid!" It’s a horrifying logical track, a fear that the victim isn’t even in control of their thoughts - the one place that they should have control - and that they might always be this way. There’s no safety since even their thoughts aren’t safe. Despair might also follow, as the victim frantically asserts to regain control. Usually with time, the fear starts to lessen as the logical centers of the brain regain control, and the fear diminishes. Some times, the victim can't even really recall the exact crippling sense of fear when attempting to recall it, only that they were afraid and that it was deeply scary and awful, but the notion that it happened remains in their mind.

Control mechanisms are also important to developing a believable PTSD victim. Most sufferers dread the PTSD response and so actively avoid objects or situations that could potentially trigger. Someone who may have had to escape from a helicopter falling into the ocean may not like to be immersed in water. Someone who was hit by a hidden IED may swerve to avoid suspicious piles in the road. Someone buried under a collapsing ceiling may become claustrophobic. Thus, many characters with PTSD will be hypervigilant almost to the point of exhaustion, avoiding setting off the undesired response. This hypervigilance is mentally taxing; the character begins to become sluggish mentally as all their energy is squeezed out, leaving them struggling for even the simplest of rational thoughts. This mental fog can be translated onto the page in dramatic effect by adding paragraph length to even simple actions, bringing the reader along into the fog, laboriously seeing the character move to perform simple actions. Then, mix in a loss of a sense of purpose. They’re adrift, not exactly sure what they’re doing and barely aware of what’s happening, although they are thinking and functioning. In the character’s daily life, they are living their life using maximum effort to avoid triggering responses; this is another aspect of control that the character can use as an attempt to claw back some semblance of power in their own lives. Even control methods that aren’t necessarily healthy such as drinking themselves to pass out every night or abusing sleeping pills in an attempt to sleep due to their nightmares, are ways to attempt to regain a sense of normalcy and function. Don’t condescend to these characters and make them pathetic, that’s just another layer of cruelty, but showing the unhealthy coping mechanisms can demonstrate the difficulty that PTSD victims are feeling. Combined with an external perspective, the author can show the damage that these unhealthy actions are doing without casting the character as weak for not taking a different path.

External perspectives focus on the other characters and how they observe and react to the individual in question. Since the internal thought process of the character is not known, sudden reactions to an unknown trigger can be quite jarring for characters unaware, which can mirror real-life experiences that individuals can have with PTSD-sufferers. In these types of stories, the character’s reaction to the victim is paramount. PTSD in real life often evokes feelings of helplessness in loved ones when they simply cannot act to help, can evoke confusion, or anger and resentment. These reactions are powerful emotions with the ability to drive character work, and so external perspectives can be useful for telling a story about what it is like for loved ones who suffer in their own fashion. External perspectives can be used not just in describing triggering episodes, but in exploring how the character established coping mechanisms and how their loved ones react to them. Some mechanisms are distinctly unhealthy, such as alcohol or prescription drug abuse, complete withdrawal, or a refusal to drive vehicles, and these create stress and a feeling of helplessness in characters or can impel them to try and take action. Others can be healthy, and a moment of inspiration and joy for an external perspective could be sharing in that mechanism, demonstrating empathy and understanding which evokes strong pathos, and hopefully to friends of those who suffer from PTSD, a feeling that they too, are not alone.

As the character progresses, successes and failures can often be one of the most realistic and most important things to include within the work, since those consumers who have PTSD will see parts of themselves in the characters, which can build empathy and cut down on the feelings of isolation that many victims of PTSD feel. A character could, over the course of the story, begin weaning themselves off of their control mechanisms, have the feelings of panic subside as their logical sides more quickly assert control, replace unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthier ones, or other elements of character progression and growth. Contrarily, a character making progress could, after experiencing significant but unrelated stressors, backslide either into unhealthy coping mechanisms or be blindsided by another attack. This is a powerful fear for the victim, since it can cause them to think ‘all my progress, all my effort, and I am not free!’ This is often a great fear for PTSD users (people with depression often have the same feeling) that find methods of coping are no longer as effective, and the struggle is perceived as one that they’re ultimately doomed to failure. This feeling of inevitable failure can lead to self-harm and suicide as their avenue of success seems to burn to ash right as it was in their hands. More than one soldier suffering from PTSD has ended up concluding: “Fuck it, I can’t live like this,” as horrible as that is. Don’t be afraid to include setbacks and backsliding, those happen in reality, and can be one of the most isolating fears in their lives; if the goal of portraying PTSD accurately is to help remove that feeling of isolation, then content creators must not avoid these experiences. Success as well as failure are essential to PTSD in characters in stories, these elements moreso than any other, I believe, will transcend the medium and form a connection, fulfilling the objective we set out to include in the beginning paragraphs.

Coming Back to the Beginning

It might be counterintuitive at first glance to say “including military PTSD will probably mean it will be a long journey full of discouraging story beats that might make readers depressed,” because that’s definitely going to discourage some readers to do that. I don’t see it that way, though. The people that want to do it should go in knowing it’s going to be hard, and let that strengthen their resolve, and put the best creation they can forward. The opposite is also true. Not every prospective author has to want to include any number of difficult subjects in their works, and that’s perfectly fine. Content creators must be free to shape the craft that they so desire without the need to be obligated to tackle every difficult issue, and so no content creator should be thought of as lesser or inferior because they opt not to include it in their works. I think that’s honestly stronger than handling an important topic poorly, or even worse, frivolously. Neither should anyone think that a content creator not including PTSD in their works means that they don’t care about those who suffer from it or for those who care about them or who simply don’t care about the subject in general. That’s just a terrible way to treat someone, and in the end, this entire excursion was about the opposite

Ultimately, this essay is a chance not only to help improve creative works involving PTSD, but to reflect on the creative process. Those who still want to proceed, by all means, do so. Hopefully this essay will help you create something that can reach someone. If every piece of work that helps portray PTSD can reach someone somewhere and make things easier, even if ever so little, well then, that’s what it’s really all about.

Hoping everyone has a peaceful Memorial Day. Be good to each to other.

SLAL

#essays on writing and worldbuilding #ptsd

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hermitcraftheadcanons · 3 years

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Hermitopia AU Conclusion

The last ask has been answered, the masterposts are complete, and (although art, writing, and Discord discussion are still accepted and encouraged) it is finally time to officially wrap up the Hermitopia AU! Because this was such a massive event - and no small thing to moderate - there will be a pause in blog activity for a day or so before the inbox will open for regular headcanons again. I apologize in advance for the wait!

In the mean time, I would just like to say: I am so, so thankful to everyone who participated in the AU. Your ideas and your creativity have made this blog a better place, whether you sent in one headcanon or dozens, and I am constantly in awe of the energy and enthusiasm of this community. Thank you, all of you, for making this universe we’ve created as vast and as interesting as it turned out to be.

Below are a collection of my own ideas, for those of you who like a satisfying (but still not entirely closed-ended) ending. These events take place as many days, months, or years into the future as you need them to make your own ideas work, and none of them are set in stone. You can take all of them, some of them, or none of them as truth if you want to...but either way, it has been an honour to build on a project like this one alongside you all.

And with that...the Hermitopia AU concludes! Finished, or barely begun, like so many good projects are. Have a great day everyone, and happy headcanoning!

- Mod Shade

"People of Hermitopia."

The man on the screen shifts, running a nervous hand across his bald head and squaring his shoulders. The broadcast quality is unstable, but it's more than enough for every citizen in the city to recognize who's speaking.

"This is your Concorp Branch Director, Cub. As I'm sure you are aware, I am the head of Project VEX in this city. You all know the VEX initiative as groundbreaking, life-saving, a shining success and a step towards a new era for humanity...and some of you may even see me as a hero for creating it.”

He closes his eyes, a brief look of pained remorse crossing his face. For a moment, he looks utterly defeated, almost small in the face of his impromptu audience of thousands...but finally, he fixes the camera with a steady gaze once more and begins the great unravelling.

“Maybe it was all those things, in the beginning. Maybe *I* was, once. But today, after far too long, I have some confessions to make...."

- For years, Cub had been desperately scrambling to hold the tatters of his life’s work together. Project VEX had started so well, and he had poured so much of himself into it, that when the failed experiments and rebellions became more and more frequent he was unable to accept a change of course. He covered up the project’s failings to maintain funding and public image, but mostly to maintain his own image to himself - that he was still the hero he’d set out to be and create at the project’s start. However, his denial was wearing on him heavily, and eventually he had a breakdown and decided to go public rather than keep drowning the city in lies.

- This breakdown was prompted by xB, who after his own moral breakthrough, confronted Cub and urged him to stop withholding knowledge and truth. xB also informed Cub of his own unknown truth - that the unintended power of his presence was the thing that was keeping the experiments successful when Cub was around. This was the final straw in breaking through Cub’s denial

- Along with Cub’s broadcasted speech, files were released to the media containing proof against most if not all of Concorp’s falsehoods. Many names were cleared of crimes that had been pinned on them, including Beef, Impulse, Doc, Cleo, and the majority of the other Unrestrained and Unaffiliated former VEX trainees that the company had tried to cast away

- Understandably, it took a very long time for the chaos to die down and all that information to be processed by society and the justice system. It may be years before the community can see some of their heroes in the proper light again, but at least they are now free to begin rebuilding their reputation without being labeled as villains and traitors.

- Those who actually did commit villainous acts are given a fair trial, with consideration for their motives and the new Concorp information as extra evidence

- The VEX program is withdrawn by Cub’s superiors and put under a strict review. It is reborn after a massive restructuring, with a new director, new limitations on what experiments can and cannot be attempted, and a greatly extended screening and training program to reduce the chances of graduates becoming villains. The new project will produce far fewer heroes with much subtler powers at first...but if that is the cost for the safety and stability of the city, then most people would agree that it is a small price to pay.

- Cub is not permitted to work on the new Project VEX in a management role, ever again. It’s a harsh blow for him, to have to watch his dream from the sidelines...but he knows he gave up the right to guide it when he abused the control that it gave him. At least his superiors allowed him something to do while he awaits trial: he is present (although guarded) at every new VEX trainee’s first experiment, lending his power to increase their chances of success.

- Mayor Scar resigned willingly. Nobody had enough evidence to accuse him of anything, and he didn’t plan on giving them a reason to look by trying to stay in office. Instead he chose to make his exit from both Concorp and government matters complete, at last. Or so he thinks. Who knows? Maybe he’ll learn what most of the people he’s helped to manipulate have already found out: that connections and old grudges don’t easily lose their grip.

- Scar is replaced by TFC, voted in by almost unanimous community support and funded by donations from all the people he’s saved over the years

- The greater Convex company offers a choice to the survivors of the old program: Come to work under their new, more honorable system, or take a generously large settlement and be free to build new lives

- Team ZIT declines the job offer, pooling their payment and using it to buy a shiny new base together for their independent hero venture. There are still a handful of real villains to fight, after all, and there are bound to be more once people start successfully copying Concorp technology. Now that Impulse is back at their side, they wouldn’t give up their roles saving the community for anything - but they’re done with being used by some guy behind a desk. From now on, justice and bravery will be their only guides!

- ...justice, bravery, and TFC, that is. He isn’t their boss by any means, but the more experienced hero does drop by often between his mayoral duties to make sure the youngsters stay out of trouble and in one piece.

- The nHo, according to all official records, took their settlements and split up, leaving Hermitopia far behind. However, Team ZIT suspects that the vigilante life hasn’t left them so easily. They’d be the last ones to report the odd sighting of a whipping vine or a distant masked figure, though - unregulated as they are, the nHo’s shady methods for a good cause prove useful from time to time. (And their base has really good tea. Okay, maybe it’s a little bit more than “the occasional sighting”...)

- Ren settles back into his meadow cabin, but after that massive release of info and a long, LONG period of processing, he now has Iskall, Stress, and Cleo as regular visitors. Every morning he wakes up and forgets for a moment that it’s real, that they’re really alive and with him again...but they are, and he is happier than he ever thought he would be again.

- Jevin and Mumbo visit the cabin occasionally. It took a while for Mumbo to get his memory back, but he now remembers all of his friendship with Iskall and Grian, and they come together for fun and shenanigans regularly with the rest of the cabin crew.

- Grian still spends his time looking for his clones, but honestly, he doesn’t mind. The adventure always did hold more meaning than the conclusion for him, and now, he has friends to help out!

- False disappears into thin air to wait out the fallout of Concorp’s information release. She snags herself a quiet job and a small apartment on the outskirts of town, fully intending to return to her mercenary work just as soon as the dust has settled...next week, maybe. Or the week after that. Or maybe, once the garden has been fully planted. She’s really enjoying having time for stuff like that now...but she’ll get back to work, really, she will! Soon.

- Joe and Cleo tearfully reunite through xB, and Joe becomes another frequent visitor to the cabin. Cleo also visits Joe’s base in the time exclusion zone, but she really prefers the cabin. Time skips are disorienting, and they make her want to sneeze.

- Keralis and Void come to an agreement. Xisuma isn’t entirely clear on what that agreement is - something to do with an allowance of cookies from Biffa’s bakery in exchange for not killing anyone - but he’s more than happy to be less sore and tired all the time.

Hermitopia is making progress. Real progress, this time - not just the breaking of humanity’s limitations, but breaking them with true heroic care, with the good of everyone in mind. There are some hurts that will never fully heal, mistakes that can be learned from but not undone, and yet...now there is a path, a way forward. It won’t be easy, but a kind and gentle future waits for them, welcome and well deserved. They will figure it out, together.

And together, they will step forward, into the new world that each of them has helped to create.

#hermitopia au #announcement #sort of #I know this is long; and not all of it is my best work; but I hope you'll find some of it worthy of canon #or at least inspiring to your own personal version of events #both hermitopia masterposts will be added to the masterpost of AUs in the normal pinned post #you'll still be able to access them #most importantly; I hope this event was fun for all of you #that's all there is to it; really. that's the point. :)#again; thank you

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queen0fm0nsterz · 3 years

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If we can infer the masks that Six acquires once belonged to previous Ladies in their youth then we can figure out their personalities based on the masks meaning/descriptions altogether: The teacup mask girl probably was too curious for her own good, Scarecrow mask girl was terrified and tried to close her eyes from horrors, Fox Mask girl was rather cunning and brave with skill in exploring, Tengu Mask girl may has accepted her fate in the end to fit in with the horrors

(Give this post a look for context!)

OMG YES! I'm so glad we're on the same train of thought, anon! Let's break these girls down and take a look at the rooms where their boxes are found as well and see if we can get a general idea of what the previous Ladies must have been like.

Teapot

Here's the official description of the teapot mask:

"Six is a natural born explorer, but bad things can happen if she peeks a little too far in. By the looks of things, she might be wearing this Upside-down Teapot a little while longer! "

Just like you said, anon, this girl must have been too curious for her own good, venturing into places she wasn't supposed to be in. I like how they drew a parallel between Six and Teapot, mentioning that they're both explorers.

The room where we can find Teapot's box, and in particular the outfit she's wearing, is quite interesting.

The implication here is that she probably used to be a prisoner of some sort. Plus, to reach her box we actually have to mess with the stairs quite a bit and she's literally stuck in a tiny hole between boxes. This is probably symbolic: the other rooms containing the boxes all use some sort of symbolism, so this could rappresent Teapot feeling trapped.

So to sum this one up: Teapot used to be a curious child, exploring around in places where she shouldn't have. Because of the prison motif we can theorize that she might have felt trapped once she took on the role of the Lady, a role she couldn't find her way out from.

Tengu

Tengu is an interesting one, and I can easily tell you she's my favorite out of the four. Let's take a look at the official description for her mask:

"Fear can take many forms and can live in many worlds. Wearing this Japanese Tengu mask won’t keep Six safe from harm, but it will certainly make her fit in! "

The "live in many worlds" line... possible reference to the fact that the children might come from a different dimention rather than the one LN takes place in? I'm probably overthinking this. Still, I definetely think Tengu not only accepted but also embraced her role as the Lady, unlike Teapot. The implication from this is that she did it out of fear and self preservation. You know what they say - if you can't beat 'em, join them. Still, it doesn't seem like it kept her out of harms way.

I think it's also worth mentioning that Tengu masks are used as decorations because they're believed to frighten bad spirits and bring good luck. Mh.

Moving on to Tengu's room, this one is a BRAIN SCRATCHER.

This isn't actually in Tengu's room but the one right before, I just want you guys to keep in mind that the doodles on the wall were indeed done by nomes. Moving on to her actual room, we start off pretty strong.

GIRL IF THAT ISN'T THE THIN MAN COMING OUT FROM THE TV I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT IS. Look at him, he's even got his hands in display like he does when he's about to break free in LN 2 and when he kidnaps the toddler in the comics!

He seems to be going after a group of children, the nome and his friends? The implication here is that he kidnapped them.

EDIT: OK HAHAHA SOMEONE IN THE COMMENTS MADE ME NOTICE THAT IT MOST LIKELY IS JUST AN AIR BALOON. So I probably just overanalized this (thank you for commenting btw!! I appreciated that a lot!). Still, I think the hand in the room before belongs to the Thin Man, or possibly even the Ferryman. Or even some other monster entirely. So the kids ran away from somewhere using it. I wonder if they where trying to avoid going on the Maw... mhhh. Anyway, their escape failed.

And here we see the ever present, all seeing Eye, and boom! Suddenly the children have been turned into nomes. That particular eye shape reminded me of the security eye we can find on the Maw. But what caught my attention the most is this:

Lo and behold, a tall, feminine figure, who has also been doodled on, implying that she died, right behind Tengu's box. I'd also like to point out that all the candles in the room have either melted or are about to.

This nome seems to have told us his own little adventure he had with his friends before he was captured by one of the previous Thin Men and brought on the Maw? Only to be turned into a nome by Tengu, a.k.a. one of the Ladies.

To wrap our girl up: Tengu, unlike Teapot, had accepted her fate and embraced her new role as the Lady of the Maw to the fullest in order to survive. It's also possible that she used to be familiar with one of the previous Thin Men, seeing how he's most likely taking the children to the Maw. Unfortunately, the Tengu mask did not protect her from the horrors of the world and she met her end.

Fox

Out of all the presumed Ladies, Fox seems to be the one most similar to Six, at least according to her mask's description:

" With so many nooks & crannies to explore in this unpredictable place, it takes someone special to survive. Six is as brave and cunning a character as you will find, so this Fox mask couldn’t have found a better home! "

It's pointed out how it takes someone special to survive in an enviroment like the one the LN Universe has to offer, which is an obvious nodd to Six, but I think it might also be referring to Fox herself. Now, let's take a look at the room before the one Fox's box is found. Look at the drawing on the wall.

A tall woman surrounded by seven children, who match the seven nomes you have to find in order to get access to this room. Following the reasoning we used before, we'll presume the tall woman is Fox, a.k.a one of the Ladies. Note how a part of her head is missing, almost as if it got ripped away.

We get in her actual room and would you look at that.

The seven nomes, chilling quietly in Fox's room. It's very clear that they're all prefectly comfortable with bring here, see as there's one of the nomes just swinging silently on their little swing. The pillow next to Fox's box has been ripped. The implication I get here is that our girl might have gotten a little too brave and... lost her head.

I don't know about you but this feels like a memorial to me, similar to the one other nomes made for their friends a few rooms ahead.

(This one. Also, the box there contains a Shadow Child figure. Definetely talking about this in a separate post.)

To sum Fox up: she was a cunning, brave, special girl, very similar to Six. Even though she most likely took on the role of the Lady, children seemed to trust her enough to be comfortable in her presence. However, something happened to her that led her to meet a very gruesome end. Possibly her successor killing her? Or maybe she was punished for being too kind to the children? Perhaps, a bit of both.

Scarecrow

There's not a lot to say about Scarecrow, if I have to be honest. Here's the official description of her mask:

" The Maw is filled with awful things hiding in the shadows and around every corner. Wear this twisted old Scarecrow Sack - it might not frighten away the monsters, but at least you won’t see them! "

Ok but let me tell you, the Scarecrow mask reminds me a lot of the sack the Hunter wears. You could say the two are similar in a way: the Hunter wears his sack to prevent himself from seeing the TVs, while Scarecrow wears hers to avoid looking at the monsters she had surrounded herself with. She most likely kept to herself most of the time, just like him.

Her room seems to suggest the same thing.

It's small, only illuminated by a small light and hidden away from the rest of the world; away from the horrors. Now, the ripped portrait of the Pretender behind her? No clue what that could mean, but see as the previous room contained a lot of portraits about the Pretender and her life? The two might be connected, or similar in some way.

Perhaps the Pretender is, deep down, just like Scarecrow was? Scared, terrified even, of the monsters around her and that's why she created her own fake little world where she can play with her ""friends"" without a care in the world? Her name IS the Pretender, after all.

Finally, the last summary: Scarecrow is a scared one, even after taking the role of the Lady she prefers to hide away into her own quarters, turning a blind eye to the horrors she (indirectly?) causes so she won't have to face them.

Ahh, this was a lot, but we got all the girls here! I really wanna hear you guys' thoughts on this one.

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carriagelamp · 3 years

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April l was apparently the month for me to revisit some children’s authors who are steeped in controversy at the moment. So here’s my hot (well, lukewarm) takes on issues that absolutely do not need a single other person talking about them. Also some actual good books that I read this month!

Badger in the Basement

The Animal Ark books are a childhood classic — though I recently found out that apparently there’s a difference between American and British publications, and the American versions didn’t include a lot of actual COOL animals which is… bizarre. As a Canadian stuck in the middle of this, this nonsense drives me nuts. This one was about the main character, the daughter of pair of vets, trying to protect a local badger sett from men wanting to participate in badger digging and baiting. These books are always feel-good, and it was a nice single-day-read while I waited for a library book to come in.

Chi’s Sweet Home

The cutest manga series about the misadventures of a little kitten, Chi, who has been adopted by a loving family. I’ve never bothered to read them in order, but apparently this time I stumbled across the last in the series -- whoops! Still, stood on it’s own pretty easily, and it was a fun read! Things get tense when the family realize that they may have found Chi’s original home… and may have to give up Chi forever.

Earth Before Us: Dinosaur Empire!

This was an odd graphic novel, I feel like I’m not sure who the target audience was exactly. It was a nonfiction comic done in a Magic School Bus style, with the purpose of teaching current, up-to-date facts about the animals that lived in the Mesozoic Era. If you’re into dinosaurs, you’ll probably enjoy this! The art is absolutely adorable, I love the dinosaur illustrations, and I learnt some really neat facts. That being said, the pages are really dense, and there’s a lot of info crammed in… some of it will probably go way over a child’s head without specific additional teaching or a very strong personal interest. But that being said, a dinosaur obsessed kid is still probably going to really dig this… as would a dinosaur obsessed adult. It wasn’t my cup of tea exactly but I’m sure it is someone’s.

assorted Dr Seuss Books

I love these types of controversies because it means getting to listen to every moron who has never had an opinion on Dr Seuss ever start generating a mile of them out of the aether. So many people are so mad about the six books that are getting retired and I bet most of them haven’t even read them. These are not the friggin Cat In The Hat or The Lorax or even the likes of Yertle The Turtle. I was raised by a grade one teacher, was a voracious reader who loved Dr Seuss, and wrote my university thesis on children’s literature, and I still only knew two of the six books on that list. So by all means, if you want to write an essay explaining why those specific books are worth clinging to, feel free, but if you haven’t even heard of them maybe it’s not a big deal. *grumble*

Anyway, my grousing aside, it gave me the urge to reread a bunch of Seuss books, including the two retiring books I personally knew: McElligot’s Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street. I do still enjoy both, especially McElligot’s Pool which always sparked my imagination, but it’s obvious why they’re being retired and I personally think it’s the right choice. There’s so much good kidlit out there, we can survive without these.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden

A f/f romance manga, fairly standard fair though cute if you’re looking for some historical angst, pretty dresses, and mutual pining. A young Japanese woman moves to England in the hopes of meeting a writer (Mr Frank) who she has long admired. Along the way she is employed by an enigmatic woman with plenty of money, rumours, and melancholy following her. I’ll be honest, uncut romance isn’t really my genre, but I’ll probably still try to the second book to see if the story picks up.

From The Holocaust to Hogan’s Heroes: The Autobiography of Robert Clary

It’s no secret that I’ve been on a Hogan’s Heroes kick. This is the autobiography of Roberty Clary, who plays my favourite character in the show, Louis Lebeau. And holy shit what a life this man has had. He was a Jew growing up in France before the start of the war, and who was one of many children taken away from his family and sent off to the concentration camps in Germany. This was an amazing, intense, inspiring, and heartbreaking read… it has Clary’s voice all over it, and it tells everything from the charming childhood he had, to the horrors of the concentration camps, the brutality of survival, and then about his exciting journey into the entertainment industry afterwards. It’s an experience, would recommend if you’re a fan of the show.

The Ickabog

The second controversial author I read this month. Originally I was going to give Rowling’s new book a miss, given everything that’s been going on over the past few years, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me. Politics aside, it was a fun read! Not groundbreaking, but enjoyable enough and written in an interesting style. It didn’t read the same as a lot of modern kidlit, it felt more like a cross between a classic fairytale and a Dahl book. Perhaps a bit like Despereaux. It tells the tale of how an idyllic country gradually falls into ruin through the ignorance, inaction, and greed, and how a supposedly fictional monster hides the very real, human monsters at the heart of the country. It was cute and pleasant and I’m glad I decided to get it from the library, though for anyone who is choosing not to engage for political reasons: you aren’t missing anything major.

Franklin In The Dark

A Canadian classic. I don’t think there’s a single person my age who hasn’t read or been read a pile of these books, and the nostalgia is so comforting. I found this on Youtube and listened to someone read it to me, and honestly 10/10 would recommend for a calm evening.

The big reason I decided to seek this one out though, was because I finally got to the M*A*S*H episode that inspired this entire series! In the episode C*A*V*E, in which Hawkeye is freaking out over his claustrophia while the camp is forced to take shelter in a nearby cave during some intense shelling, he mentions that if he had been born a turtle he would have been afraid of his own shell, and that the other turtles would make fun of him cause he’d be forced to walk around in his underwear. And so this first story about a young turtle who’s afraid to sleep in his own shell and drags it around behind him. So if you were ever curious, Franklin the Turtle is in fact named after Dr Benjamin Franklin Pierce. (this is also why the French version is named Benjamin!)

Wolves of the Beyond: Lone Wolf

I loved the Guardians of Ga’Hoole books as a kid but I never read the Wolves of the Beyond series. This first book was an interesting read, Lasky does a great job creating worlds and societies for the animals that inhabit them. Lone Wolf is about a deformed wolf cub who was abandoned in the wilderness to die. And he would have, if a desperate mother bear, who had recently had her only cub killed, hadn’t stumbled across him and saved him, vowing to raise him as her own...

Petals

A “silent” graphic novel. It has beautiful artwork and is told entirely through pictures, no text at all. It’s loves and heart-wrenching, though it left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied… I felt like there should have been more. Still, a neat story.

The Southern Book Club‘s Guide To Slaying Vampires

What a banger of a novel!! I can’t recommend this one enough. It’s about a group of suburban mothers in the ‘80s who form a book club out of a shared need for community and a love of grisly true crime novels. But when a strange drifter appears in town and starts setting down roots… and when children begin disappearing… these women need to band together to confront the horrors that have invaded their neighbourhood, and face down not only a terrifying monster among them but the patriarchal system that allows it to flourish. To quote the preface:

“Because vampires are the original serial killers, stripped of everything that makes us human — they have no friends, no family, no roots, no children. All they have is hunger. They eat and eat but they’re never full. With this book, I wanted to pit a man freed from all responsibilities but his appetites against women whose lives are shaped by their endless responsibilities. I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom. As you’ll see, it’s not a fair fight.“

The Weirn Books: Be Wary of the Silent Woods

I love Chmakova’s graphic novels, though I’ve only ever read her slice-of-life middle grade series before. This one is pure fantasy and very fun. It’s about two cousin “weirns” — witches with demon familiars — who attend the local night school. Things get strange though when an ominous figure appears outside the old, abandoned school house deep in the Silent Woods, and begins tempting children down its path…

I’m very much looking forward to word of a second book and was honestly kind of surprised that I haven’t heard more about this book given how popular her other series is. This has all the same charm and quirks but for those of us who prefer stories based in fantasy rather than reality.

And A Bonus...

For some masochistic reason I got a Garfield book out of the library. Jeez, if I didn’t love these as a kid, I found them absolutely laugh out loud hilarious, and now I just don’t see it anymore. But here I will share the one strip in the book that actually made me laugh

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howwelldoyouknowyourmoon · 3 years

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Religious Trauma Syndrome: How Some Organized Religion Leads to Mental Health Problems

By Valerie Tarico

Marlene Winell interviewed March 25, 2013

At age sixteen I began what would be a four year struggle with bulimia. When the symptoms started, I turned in desperation to adults who knew more than I did about how to stop shameful behavior—my Bible study leader and a visiting youth minister. “If you ask anything in faith, believing,” they said. “It will be done.” I knew they were quoting [3] the Word of God. We prayed together, and I went home confident that God had heard my prayers. But my horrible compulsions didn’t go away. By the fall of my sophomore year in college, I was desperate and depressed enough that I made a suicide attempt. The problem wasn’t just the bulimia. I was convinced by then that I was a complete spiritual failure. My college counseling department had offered to get me real help (which they later did). But to my mind, at that point, such help couldn’t fix the core problem: I was a failure in the eyes of God. It would be years before I understood that my inability to heal bulimia through the mechanisms offered by biblical Christianity was not a function of my own spiritual deficiency but deficiencies in Evangelical religion itself.

Dr. Marlene Winell is a human development consultant in the San Francisco Area. She is also the daughter of Pentecostal missionaries. This combination has given her work an unusual focus. For the past twenty years she has counseled men and women in recovery from various forms of fundamentalist religion including the Assemblies of God denomination in which she was raised. Winell is the author of Leaving the Fold – A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion [4], written during her years of private practice in psychology. Over the years, Winell has provided assistance to clients whose religious experiences were even more damaging than mine. Some of them are people whose psychological symptoms weren’t just exacerbated by their religion, but actually caused by it.

Two years ago, Winell made waves by formally labeling what she calls “Religious Trauma Syndrome” (RTS) and beginning to write and speak on the subject for professional audiences. When the British Association of Behavioral and Cognitive Psychologists published a series of articles on the topic, members of a Christian counseling association protested what they called excessive attention to a “relatively niche topic.” One commenter said, “A religion, faith or book cannot be abuse but the people interpreting can make anything abusive.”

Is toxic religion simply misinterpretation? What is religious trauma? Why does Winell believe religious trauma merits its own diagnostic label?

Let’s start this interview with the basics. What exactly is religious trauma syndrome?

Winell: Religious trauma syndrome (RTS) is a set of symptoms and characteristics that tend to go together and which are related to harmful experiences with religion. They are the result of two things: immersion in a controlling religion and the secondary impact of leaving a religious group. The RTS label provides a name and description that affected people often recognize immediately. Many other people are surprised by the idea of RTS, because in our culture it is generally assumed that religion is benign or good for you. Just like telling kids about Santa Claus and letting them work out their beliefs later, people see no harm in teaching religion to children.

But in reality, religious teachings and practices sometimes cause serious mental health damage. The public is somewhat familiar with sexual and physical abuse in a religious context. As Journalist Janet Heimlich has documented in, Breaking Their Will, Bible-based religious groups that emphasize patriarchal authority in family structure and use harsh parenting methods can be destructive.

But the problem isn’t just physical and sexual abuse. Emotional and mental treatment in authoritarian religious groups also can be damaging because of 1) toxic teachings like eternal damnation or original sin 2) religious practices or mindset, such as punishment, black and white thinking, or sexual guilt, and 3) neglect that prevents a person from having the information or opportunities to develop normally.

Can you give me an example of RTS from your consulting practice?

Winell: I can give you many. One of the symptom clusters is around fear and anxiety. People indoctrinated into fundamentalist Christianity as small children sometimes have memories of being terrified by images of hell and apocalypse before their brains could begin to make sense of such ideas. Some survivors, who I prefer to call “reclaimers,” [8] have flashbacks, panic attacks, or nightmares in adulthood even when they intellectually no longer believe the theology. One client of mine, who during the day functioned well as a professional, struggled with intense fear many nights. She said,

“I was afraid I was going to hell. I was afraid I was doing something really wrong. I was completely out of control. I sometimes would wake up in the night and start screaming, thrashing my arms, trying to rid myself of what I was feeling. I’d walk around the house trying to think and calm myself down, in the middle of the night, trying to do some self-talk, but I felt like it was just something that – the fear and anxiety was taking over my life.” Or consider this comment, which refers to a film [9] used by evangelicals to warn about the horrors of the “end times” for nonbelievers.

“I was taken to see the film “A Thief In The Night”. WOW. I am in shock to learn that many other people suffered the same traumas I lived with because of this film. A few days or weeks after the film viewing, I came into the house and mom wasn’t there. I stood there screaming in terror. When I stopped screaming, I began making my plan: Who my Christian neighbors were, who’s house to break into to get money and food. I was 12 years old and was preparing for Armageddon alone.”

In addition to anxiety, RTS can include depression, cognitive difficulties, and problems with social functioning. In fundamentalist Christianity, the individual is considered depraved and in need of salvation. A core message is “You are bad and wrong and deserve to die.” (The wages of sin is death [10].) This gets taught to millions of children through organizations like Child Evangelism Fellowship [11] and there is a group organized [12] to oppose their incursion into public schools. I’ve had clients who remember being distraught when given a vivid bloody image of Jesus paying the ultimate price for their sins. Decades later they sit telling me that they can’t manage to find any self-worth.

“After twenty-seven years of trying to live a perfect life, I failed. . . I was ashamed of myself all day long. My mind battling with itself with no relief. . . I always believed everything that I was taught but I thought that I was not approved by God. I thought that basically I, too, would die at Armageddon.

“I’ve spent literally years injuring myself, cutting and burning my arms, taking overdoses and starving myself, to punish myself so that God doesn’t have to punish me. It’s taken me years to feel deserving of anything good.”

Born-again Christianity and devout Catholicism [13] tell people they are weak and dependent, calling on phrases like “lean not unto your own understanding [14]” or “trust and obey [11].” People who internalize these messages can suffer from learned helplessness. I’ll give you an example from a client who had little decision-making ability after living his entire life devoted to following the “will of God.” The words here don’t convey the depth of his despair.

“I have an awful time making decisions in general. Like I can’t, you know, wake up in the morning, “What am I going to do today?” Like I don’t even know where to start. You know all the things I thought I might be doing are gone and I’m not sure I should even try to have a career; essentially I babysit my four-year-old all day.”

Authoritarian religious groups are subcultures where conformity is required in order to belong. Thus if you dare to leave the religion, you risk losing your entire support system as well.

“I lost all my friends. I lost my close ties to family. Now I’m losing my country. I’ve lost so much because of this malignant religion and I am angry and sad to my very core. . . I have tried hard to make new friends, but I have failed miserably. . . I am very lonely.”

Leaving a religion, after total immersion, can cause a complete upheaval of a person’s construction of reality, including the self, other people, life, and the future. People unfamiliar with this situation, including therapists, have trouble appreciating the sheer terror it can create.

“My form of religion was very strongly entrenched and anchored deeply in my heart. It is hard to describe how fully my religion informed, infused, and influenced my entire worldview. My first steps out of fundamentalism were profoundly frightening and I had frequent thoughts of suicide. Now I’m way past that but I still haven’t quite found “my place in the universe.”

Even for a person who was not so entrenched, leaving one’s religion can be a stressful and significant transition.

Many people seem to walk away from their religion easily, without really looking back. What is different about the clientele you work with?

Winell: Religious groups that are highly controlling, teach fear about the world, and keep members sheltered and ill-equipped to function in society are harder to leave easily. The difficulty seems to be greater if the person was born and raised in the religion rather than joining as an adult convert. This is because they have no frame of reference – no other “self” or way of “being in the world.” A common personality type is a person who is deeply emotional and thoughtful and who tends to throw themselves wholeheartedly into their endeavors. “True believers” who then lose their faith feel more anger and depression and grief than those who simply went to church on Sunday.

Aren’t these just people who would be depressed, anxious, or obsessive anyways?

Winell: Not at all. If my observation is correct, these are people who are intense and involved and caring. They hang on to the religion longer than those who simply “walk away” because they try to make it work even when they have doubts. Sometimes this is out of fear, but often it is out of devotion. These are people for whom ethics, integrity and compassion matter a great deal. I find that when they get better and rebuild their lives, they are wonderfully creative and energetic about new things.

In your mind, how is RTS different from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Winell: RTS is a specific set of symptoms and characteristics that are connected with harmful religious experience, not just any trauma. This is crucial to understanding the condition and any kind of self-help or treatment. (More details about this can be found on my Journey Free [15] website and discussed in my talk [16] at the Texas Freethought Convention.)

Another difference is the social context, which is extremely different from other traumas or forms of abuse. When someone is recovering from domestic abuse, for example, other people understand and support the need to leave and recover. They don’t question it as a matter of interpretation, and they don’t send the person back for more. But this is exactly what happens to many former believers who seek counseling. If a provider doesn’t understand the source of the symptoms, he or she may send a client for pastoral counseling, or to AA, or even to another church. One reclaimer expressed her frustration this way:

“Include physically-abusive parents who quote “Spare the rod and spoil the child” as literally as you can imagine and you have one fucked-up soul: an unloved, rejected, traumatized toddler in the body of an adult. I’m simply a broken spirit in an empty shell. But wait...That’s not enough!? There’s also the expectation by everyone in society that we victims should celebrate this with our perpetrators every Christmas and Easter!!”

Just like disorders such as autism or bulimia, giving RTS a real name has important advantages. People who are suffering find that having a label for their experience helps them feel less alone and guilty. Some have written to me to express their relief:

“There’s actually a name for it! I was brainwashed from birth and wasted 25 years of my life serving Him! I’ve since been out of my religion for several years now, but I cannot shake the haunting fear of hell and feel absolutely doomed. I’m now socially inept, unemployable, and the only way I can have sex is to pay for it.”

Labeling RTS encourages professionals to study it more carefully, develop treatments, and offer training. Hopefully, we can even work on prevention.

What do you see as the difference between religion that causes trauma and religion that doesn’t?

Winell: Religion causes trauma when it is highly controlling and prevents people from thinking for themselves and trusting their own feelings. Groups that demand obedience and conformity produce fear, not love and growth. With constant judgment of self and others, people become alienated from themselves, each other, and the world. Religion in its worst forms causes separation.

Conversely, groups that connect people and promote self-knowledge and personal growth can be said to be healthy. The book, Healthy Religion [17], describes these traits. Such groups put high value on respecting differences, and members feel empowered as individuals. They provide social support, a place for events and rites of passage, exchange of ideas, inspiration, opportunities for service, and connection to social causes. They encourage spiritual practices that promote health like meditation or principles for living like the golden rule. More and more, non-theists are asking [18] how they can create similar spiritual communities without the supernaturalism. An atheist congregation [19] in London launched this year and has received over 200 inquiries from people wanting to replicate their model.

Some people say that terms like “recovery from religion” and “religious trauma syndrome” are just atheist attempts to pathologize religious belief.

Winell: Mental health professionals have enough to do without going out looking for new pathology. I never set out looking for a “niche topic,” and certainly not religious trauma syndrome. I originally wrote a paper for a conference of the American Psychological Association and thought that would be the end of it. Since then, I have tried to move on to other things several times, but this work has simply grown.

In my opinion, we are simply, as a culture, becoming aware of religious trauma. More and more people are leaving religion, as seen by polls [20] showing that the “religiously unaffiliated” have increased in the last five years from just over 15% to just under 20% of all U.S. adults. It’s no wonder the internet is exploding with websites for former believers from all religions, providing forums [21] for people to support each other. The huge population of people “leaving the fold” includes a subset at risk for RTS, and more people are talking about it and seeking help. For example, there are thousands of former Mormons [22], and I was asked to speak about RTS at an Exmormon Foundation conference. I facilitate an international support group online called Release and Reclaim [23] which has monthly conference calls. An organization called Recovery from Religion, [24] helps people start self-help meet-up groups

Saying that someone is trying to pathologize authoritarian religion is like saying someone pathologized eating disorders by naming them. Before that, they were healthy? No, before that we weren’t noticing. People were suffering, thought they were alone, and blamed themselves. Professionals had no awareness or training. This is the situation of RTS today. Authoritarian religion is already pathological, and leaving a high-control group can be traumatic. People are already suffering. They need to be recognized and helped. _______________________________

Statistics update:

Numbers of American ‘nones’ continues to rise

October 18, 2019

By David Crary – Associated Press

The portion of Americans with no religious affiliation is rising significantly, in tandem with a sharp drop in the percentage that identifies as Christians, according to new data from the Pew Research Center. …

Pew says all categories of the religiously unaffiliated population – often referred to as the “nones” grew in magnitude. Self-described atheists now account for 4% of U.S. adults, up from 2% in 2009; agnostics account for 5%, up from 3% a decade ago; and 17% of Americans now describe their religion as “nothing in particular,” up from 12% in 2009.

https://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2019/1018/Numbers-of-American-nones-continues-to-rise

_______________________________

Marlene Winell interviewed by Valerie Tarico on recovering from religious trauma Uploaded on January 31, 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIfABmbqSMA

24:12

On Moral Politics, a TV program with host Dr. Valerie Tarico, Marlene Winell describes the trauma that can result from harmful experiences with religious indoctrination. Dr. Winell explains that mental health issues are widespread and need to be understood just as we understand PTSD. There are steps to recovery, treatment modalities, and resources available as well. She now refers to this as RTS or Religious Trauma Syndrome. _______________________________

Links:   [3] https://www.biblestudyonjesuschrist.com/pog/ask1.htm  [4] https://marlenewinell.net/leaving-fold-former  [8] https://journeyfree.org/article/reclaimers/  [9] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Thief_in_the_Night_%28film%29  [10] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+6%3A23&version=KJV  [11] https://valerietarico.com/2011/02/04/our-public-schools-their-mission-field/  [12] http://www.intrinsicdignity.com/  [13] https://www.maryjohnson.co/an-unquenchable-thirst/  [14] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+3%3A5-6&version=KJV [15] https://journeyfree.org/category/uncategorized/ [16] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qrE4pMBlis  [17] https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Religion-Psychological-Guide-Mature/dp/1425924166 [18] https://www.humanistchaplaincy.org/ [19] https://www.christianpost.com/news/london-atheist-church-model-looking-to-expand-worldwide-91516 [20] https://www.pewforum.org/2012/10/09/nones-on-the-rise/  [21] https://new.exchristian.net/  [22] https://www.exmormon.org/  [23] https://journeyfree.org/group-forum/ [24] https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/

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Get God’s Self-Appointed Messengers Out of Your Head

Valerie Tarico Which buzz phrases from your past are stuck in your brain? “God’s messengers” were all real complicated people with biases, blind spots, favorite foods and morning breath. They were not gods and they are not you. So how can you get them out of your head or at least reduce them to muffled background noise?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElfyYA420F0

#religious trauma syndrome #Marlene Winell #Valerie Tarico

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calligraphist-artemisia · 3 years

Text

Soul of a Lion (Chapter 5)

Sequel to The Smallest Blade.

Summary: After the Red Lion steals them away from the Marmora base and takes them through a wormhole, Shiro, Keith, Katla, and Lance find themselves in front of a majestic castle with nowhere to go but inside. The events that unfold while they’re there will change the fate of the universe.

Also posted on AO3 under the username “kishirokitsune”.

☆ - ☆ - ☆ - ☆ - ☆

5 | One Step Forward

Katla woke with a harsh gasp, nearly choking on air, her heart pounding so hard in her chest that she could hear it in her ears. She sat up and frantically looked around the unfamiliar room, her panic rising when she didn't see anyone else. She was on her feet and out the door before she could stop and think about what she was doing and she only stopped once she reached Keith's door and had her hand poised to knock.

She slowly lowered her hand.

“What am I doing?” Katla whispered to herself, backing away. She didn't really want to wake him after their late night up on the holo-deck just because she suffered from a little nightmare.

Instead of bothering Keith, Katla turned to the other person who had been there for her through the years.

She didn't bother knocking on the door and instead opened it right up before stepping just inside the doorway. “Shiro?” she whispered, hoping to gently wake him. “Shiro, can I sleep in here?”

Shiro made a groaning sound. “Katla, wha...? Yeah. Of course you can.”

Katla crossed the room and slid under the blankets next to Shiro, cuddling in close and breathing in his soothing scent as she closed her eyes. “Thank you.”

“Mmm hmm... S'everything alright?” he slurred.

“Just a nightmare,” Katla admitted, seeing no point in hiding it. “I'm okay. Just didn't want to be alone.”

Shiro didn't ask why she didn't go to Keith. He simply wrapped an arm around her, silently offering the comfort she sought, which helped her drift peacefully back to sleep.

Her dreams, if she had any, were peaceful after that and when Katla woke again it was with the slow awareness that she was wrapped up in Shiro's warm embrace. Rather than feel embarrassed about running to him like a lost cub, Katla purred and snuggled against him, eliciting a chuckle from her mentor.

“Sleep well?” he asked.

Katla nodded. “Thanks for letting me stay.”

“I meant it when I said that I'm here whenever you need me,” Shiro told her. “Do you want to talk about your nightmare?”

“Nah, I can't even remember what it was about. Probably nothing important,” Katla said. She breathed in deeply and then extracted herself from the blankets and Shiro's hold, shivering as she got out into the chillier air of the room despite the long sleeves of her borrowed nightgown. “It did help me work up an appetite though. I'm starving.”

“Oh? Are you sure it isn't because of your late night adventure to the holo-deck?” Shiro teased.

Katla sputtered in surprise. “Wha- but how did you know about that?!”

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “You grew up in a secretive organization whose primary focus is covertly gathering information and you're really going to ask me how I found out?”

“Fair point,” Katla muttered, looking away from him. She left before he could tease her anymore and retreated to her room where she dressed in a clean set of clothing that she found in the drawers. It was too soft and too bright for her tastes, but she supposed it was preferable to wearing her sweat-soaked uniform for a third day. (She'd have to make sure and ask Hunk how they handled laundry in the castle.)

She ran a brush through her hair before leaving her room. Once she was back in the hall, she found that Shiro had rounded up Keith and Lance, who were also dressed and ready for a new day.

Keith bent over and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek, wishing her a good morning before straightening back up. “Ready to go play nice with the Alteans?”

Katla crinkled her nose at the reminder.

After his lunch with Allura the day before, Shiro returned with news that they would have breakfast with their hosts to try and get to know each other better.

To say that they were not looking forward to it was an understatement.

“I think I'd rather eat more food goo,” Lance said with a loud groan.

Shiro gave him an unimpressed look. “They're willing to make an effort for us and I'd like it if we did the same for them. Listen, Allura said she wants to talk to us about the Lions today, so please be on your best behavior. If you don't have anything nice to say, then just don't say anything.”

“Now you sound like mom,” Katla teased him.

“Does that mean you'll listen to me?” Shiro asked.

“It means I'll think about it,” Katla cheekily responded.

Keith coughed to try and cover up his laugh, but he couldn't fool Katla. He was well aware of how often she listened to what her mom told her to do, mostly because he was right there by her side whenever it happened.

Shiro didn't bother trying to wrangle a promise out of any of them and settled for getting them over to the dining room without Lance feigning illness to try and get out of it.

Katla wasn't going to pretend like she knew what was going through Lance's head. She would have thought he'd be excited to be around other Alteans, but instead, he was taking even longer to warm up to them than he did on a base surrounded by those he had grown up calling the enemy. She'd call it a puzzle except he'd been pretty vocal about his reasons for not liking them.

“Hey,” she said quietly, nudging his arm as they approached the dining room. “You can handle this.”

Lance managed a smile just for her. “I think I deserve a reward after this.”

“When we go down to the holo-deck I'll let you make fun of Keith when I trip him up.”

“Hey!” Keith protested.

All of their joking subsided once they were standing in front of the door to the dining room and Katla immediately found herself missing the playful atmosphere they had cultivated on their walk over.

Maybe Shiro had a good point about learning to get along and work together. (Something that would be no problem with Hunk, who was friendly enough that she wanted to get along with him.) Being angry and annoyed wasn't only exhausting, it also meant they were no closer to figuring out a way to get home.

If only the Red Lion were a little less stubborn.

The door slid open and Allura rose from her seat at the head of the table to welcome them to breakfast, which was already laid out. Coran, who sat at her left, nodded in greeting, while Hunk, who was on her right, lifted a hand and waved cheerfully.

Breakfast went well, all things considered, though Lance didn't say a word to anyone the entire meal, and Allura struggled to get Coran involved in any conversation for more than a few ticks. Allura, Shiro, and Hunk were the ones who kept things flowing, but even with that Katla was thankful when they all finished eating and the kitchen robots arrived to clear the table.

“I've given it some thought and I believe that the first thing we need to do is locate the other Lions,” Allura stated. “It's only when all five of them are together that Voltron can be formed.”

“Voltron?” Katla murmured the question to Keith, who shrugged.

Apparently, she wasn't quiet enough, because Allura turned to Hunk with a look of surprise. “I thought you said that you told them!”

“Didn't I?” Hunk asked, sounding confused. “I thought... I must have only told them about the Lions and how I think they're the new paladins.”

Allura sighed. “It's alright, Hunk. Voltron is, well, it's what happens when the five Lions combine into one. The original paladins used him to keep peace throughout the galaxy. The four of you will use him to defeat Zarkon and return peace to the universe.”

Katla had a question dancing on the tip of her tongue (or rather, many questions), but Keith beat her to it.

“Shouldn't there be five of us? One for each Lion?”

“You are correct,” Allura acknowledged. “Currently, we're going on the assumption that the four of you are chosen because the Red Lion brought you here. It either means that we have yet to meet the fifth or that there is something preventing them from being here with us.”

The second Allura was done speaking, Katla jumped in with a round of rapid-fire questions and only stopped because Shiro pointedly cleared his throat. She would have slumped back and pouted if not for the fact that Allura began to carefully address each of her questions.

Katla didn't fully know what Shiro and the princess had talked about the day before, but whatever it was had put Allura in a more agreeable mood.

“We do not currently know where the three missing Lions are, however, I believe I have a way of locating them. You see, each Lion has their own unique energy signature and their method of choosing their paladin involves finding someone whose quintessence closely mirrors their own. Once they do that, it creates a bond between Lion and paladin. Using that bond, I should be able to locate the missing three and discover who has been chosen by which Lion.”

It all sounded a little far-fetched to Katla. Quintessence was just energy. Some forms of it could be traced, but she'd never heard of it forming connections or bonds that could be followed over long distances.

Allura took a moment to look around at them all. “I will need to sit with each of you but only one at a time. It's a process that could take vargas before I can see any kind of connection, so it would be best to only do one per day.”

Lance scowled.

“I don't mean to be rude, but I don't see how any of what you're saying is possible. I mean, the Empire has had all of this time to track down the Lions and they've only come close to one of them, as far as we know. So how is it that you can track their energy without knowing which direction to look?” Katla asked.

To her surprise (and likely to Shiro's relief) Allura didn't appear at all bothered by the question.

“It's because I won't be using technology to track them, but a gift passed down from my mother,” Allura said with a smile.

Coran made a small noise of protest.

Allura held up a hand to stop whatever he was about to say. “It's alright, Coran. The Aspects that are gifted to Alteans are hardly a secret that needs to be kept and I am proud to speak of mine.”

What followed was a crash course in what Allura called Altean “aspects”, which Katla eagerly listened to and absorbed. It had never occurred to her to ask Lance about how he was able to shape-shift and being handed the information was an eye-opener. (Just how strong was Lance if he was able to hold his shift for as long as he did?) But what sounded the most interesting by far was the Aspect of Spirit, which allowed Allura to manipulate quintessence and use it in a way that sounded like magic.

“Every living thing leaves behind a trace amount of quintessence wherever it goes, and that includes the Lions,” Allura explained. “When the Red Lion responded to you, Keith, it formed a connection between the two of you. Theoretically, since each of you has had contact with her and because we're going by the assumption that the Red Lion brought you all here because you're meant to be the new paladins, that means you each now have a connection with the Lion who most closely mirrors your quintessence.”

“But if the Red Lion also has a bond with the others, couldn't you just use her to find them?” Keith asked.

Allura nodded. “You raise an excellent point, Keith. We currently have two of the Lions here at the Castle and I could use either of them, provided that they allow me to get close. I'd prefer keeping that option as a back-up plan. The real question is: who would like to go first?”

Keith and Katla exchanged a quick look. There was no question in their minds as to who would volunteer.

Sure enough, Shiro told her that he would go first. He stood and quietly reminded Katla, Keith, and Lance to be on their best behavior while he was away, and then followed Allura out of the dining room.

She didn't speak as she led him through the halls and up several staircases, but Shiro found that the silence didn't bother him. Instead, it allowed him time to get his thoughts in order. It didn't take him long to land on a somewhat important question that none of them thought to ask.

“Princess, you said that the Lions choose their pilots based on who best mirrors their quintessence, but what does that mean, exactly?” Shiro asked politely.

Allura slowed a little as she responded. “An easier way to put it would be to say that there are certain... qualities that the Lions seem to be drawn to. For example, the Red Lion is the fastest of the five and is known for being stubborn and a little temperamental. She needs a paladin who can keep up. Someone who relies on instinct more than skill.”

That did sound like Keith, though Shiro didn't dare say that out loud.

“The Black Lion, as the head of Voltron, needs someone with exemplary leadership skills. Someone able to make the right decisions in the heat of battle and who has the respect of their fellow paladins,” Allura said. There was an odd tone to her voice as she spoke of the Black Lion and she narrowed her eyes into an almost glare as she stared down the hall.

Shiro eyed her curiously but didn't say a word, hoping she would tell him more on her own, but she didn't get the chance to as they came to a door and Allura stopped walking.

“This is the Serenity Garden. It was designed by my mother to aid with my training when I was young. I find it helps me center myself whenever I need to focus and that makes it perfect for what needs done today,” she explained.

“So, it's for meditation?” Shiro guessed.

Allura nodded and opened the door.

The Serenity Garden lived up to its name, though it looked nothing like what Shiro expected it to. He'd imagined a literal garden full of green, growing things, but instead, there were white walls made of a stone that bore some resemblance to the material used in the rest of the castle, but far more water-resistant as it had to withstand the constant flow of a fountain, which sent water cascading down three of the walls of the room. It gathered in a shallow pool that ran the length of the walls and extended no more than a foot from the base of them.

The lights were embedded into the walls and refracted through the water to create an effect that made Shiro feel as though they were underwater. He held up his hand as he stepped inside and watched it play across his skin with some fascination.

“We should get comfortable. It's hard to say how long this will take,” Allura suggested, gesturing toward the pile of large, squishy pillows in the center of the room.

☆ - ☆ - ☆ - ☆ - ☆

They didn't stay in the dining room for very long after Shiro and Allura left. Lance had barely paid attention to what was said between the time the pair left to the rest of them getting up, but as he tried to follow Keith and Katla, who he assumed were going back to the holo-deck, Keith stopped him and gestured toward Hunk.

“Weren't you listening? Hunk wants your help looking over the shuttles down in the hangar while we go with Coran to check on that teludav thing,” Keith said.

“I didn't agree to that!” Lance yelped.

“We know. We volunteered you to go while you were daydreaming,” Keith said, making a sort of 'go on' gesture. “It'll be fine, Lance. We'll see you in a few vargas.”

Lance's jaw dropped as Katla and Keith walked away, leaving him completely alone with Hunk. It felt like he was waking into a nightmare and he didn't know how to get out of it.

He didn't know the first thing about Altean shuttles! It wasn't like they had any back home and even if they did, he still doubted that he would know anything about them. That honor would be reserved for those with the skills to properly understand how to fly and make repairs to them.

And besides that, he wanted nothing to do with the other Alteans.

Lance knew he was supposed to be trying to get along with them and he didn't want to disappoint Shiro, but he just couldn't bring himself to try.

He didn't want to get along with them.

He didn't want to like them.

And if not for the fact that knowing which shuttles were in working condition would benefit him, Lance would have gone back to his room and locked the door. Was it childish? Sure. But ultimately it would be better than losing his temper and screwing everything up.

Lance counted himself lucky when he saw that there were only three shuttles in the hangar. They were significantly smaller than the Red Lion and were also bulky, which led him to assume that they were solely for transport rather than defending the castle. He could be wrong. It could always be a case of appearances being deceiving, they just didn't look maneuverable to him.

“Alright, let's pop one of these open and see what we're doing with!” Hunk said enthusiastically, rubbing his hands together.

Lance silently followed him to the first shuttle and watched with mild interest as Hunk opened the access plate that protected the engine. He couldn't make heads or tails of any of the wires or tubes or other components that were inside, so instead, he paid more attention to Hunk and tried to judge what state it was in based on the expressions on his face.

“Looks like some stress damage along this support beam. It never got fixed after the last time it flew, so we'll have to replace that. Also looks like the cooling system will need flushed, but I kind of expected that. All of them will need a good thorough cleaning,” Hunk said, swiping a finger across the surface of one of the tubes. “And, of course, everything will need to be recharged. The crystals will be so drained that we'll be lucky if any of them have the smallest amount of power left for Allura to spark. We may need to find a Balmera, though I'd hate to set off without any of these working, even if we have all of the Lions.”

Lance wondered if he was supposed to respond.

Hunk hummed as he leaned in deeper, trying to see a little farther back. “I'll need a scanner to give it a proper check up. Could you grab it for me? It's the smallest device with the orange handle hanging on that wall over there.”

Lance turned his attention to the wall Hunk gestured at. There were all kinds of tools hanging on pegs, but he easily spotted a small one with its handle entirely wrapped in orange. He retrieved it and took it back to Hunk, who thanked him with a beaming smile.

“I always like to look it over myself first to see what I can spot, then I use the scanner to catch what I've missed or can't see from this angle,” Hunk explained as he turned it on and pointed it into the engine. “It probably sounds like I'm making more work for myself, but this is about testing myself and the scanner. If there's something obvious that I've missed then that means I need to work on my skills. If the scanner misses something that I noticed, then it needs to be re-calibrated.”

Lance made a sort of agreeing sound just because it seemed like the right thing to do.

Hunk turned on the scanner and waited a few ticks before launching a set of discs from the top of it. They hovered in the air and beeped as they lit up blue before zipping into the compartment to take readings.

Hunk turned the scanner so that Lance could see the screen as well. “See? It picked up on the stress damage I mentioned, but there are also hairline fractures along that same piece.”

Once the scanner was through with its evaluation, Hunk printed out a list of repairs that needed done and stuck it to the side of the shuttle right next to the engine panel. “Coran will want to take a look before we start any major repairs. This is his area of expertise, after all. All I can do right now is remove the power crystal and take it to Allura. Did I already say she'd be able to recharge them? Her strongest gift is Spirit, so she can use her own energy to refuel these small crystals.”

They moved onto the next one, which was alright aside from a bit of dust and another crystal in need of power. Hunk slapped a label on it anyway and then there was only one shuttle left to examine.

Lance started to make his way over to it, but only got a few steps before he realized Hunk wasn't following him. He slowed to a stop and looked back to see the other Altean was bent over the housing chamber for the crystal and carefully disconnecting it. Lance stifled a groan and instead crossed his arms over his chest.

“You know, there's something that's been bothering me,” Hunk said conversationally. “I can't explain what it is, exactly. It's more of a feeling.” He yanked the crystal free from its compartment and held it out towards Lance. “Come here and hold this for me?”

Lance hesitantly walked forward and took it from Hunk. It was a pretty thing, roughly the size of his fist and shaped sort of like an obelisk with a wider and broken base. As he looked at it, he started to see a soft glow in the center.

“I kept thinking about that first night when I gave you and Katla the crystal that powered your device, even though it shouldn't have been able to. But no matter how many times I went through that memory, something wasn't adding up,” Hunk said quietly.

When Lance tore his gaze away from the crystal in his hands, it was to find Hunk watching him with a sad look in his eyes.

“Lance, only an Altean has the ability to recharge these crystals once they're removed from the Balmera.”

Lance's stomach swooped unpleasantly. He took a step back in alarm as his heart-rate accelerated, his words catching in his throat along with his breath as panic began to take hold.

“It's true, isn't it? You're Altean?” Hunk asked, his voice cracking. “We're not the last ones?”

“No.”

Hunk took a step forward. “Lance, it's okay. You don't need to hide who you are. You're safe here!”

Lance shook his head and shoved the crystal against Hunk's chest, barely giving him time to grab it before he let go. “No, you're wrong,” he said before turning on his heel and fleeing the hangar, leaving Hunk even more confused than before.

☆ - ☆ - ☆ - ☆ - ☆

Keith was pretty sure that Lance was going to try and smother both him and Katla in their sleep after the stunt they pulled. He couldn't bring himself to feel too apologetic about it, since splitting up any other way would mean that he would have to be apart from Katla and he still didn't trust the Alteans enough to leave her alone with them. (Not that Katla couldn't take care of herself – she was trained by Shiro, after all.)

And since she was interested in learning more about something called a teludav, Keith was going along with her.

“This is so cool!” Katla enthused as Coran opened the door for them. “Keith, we're the first people in ten-thousand years who have the opportunity to learn how Alteans used to travel across vast expanses of space in a short amount of time! This is technology that even Slav hasn't figured out and he's been working towards this for decaphoebs!”

Keith smiled fondly as she continued to ramble on about how it was theorized to work. Even Coran chuckled in amusement at some of the ideas that had been proposed over the years.

“I think you'll find that it is both more simple and infinitely more complicated than any of that,” Coran said as the door slid open. “May I present to you: the teludav chamber!”

It was a smaller room than Keith expected, with consoles to the left and right along the walls. Directly across from the entrance was a circular opening that led into a long tube lined with odd-looking discs.

“Amazing,” Katla breathed in soft awe. “How does it all work? Do you put those discs into your ships and that's how you travel?”

Coran shook his head. “Each and every one of those lenses is precisely where it needs to be. Their placement is carefully calculated down to the very last detail so that the teludav works with the optimal power needed to create wormholes.”

“Like the one that brought us here?” Keith asked.

Coran looked a little startled by the question. “You came here by wormhole? I suppose if there was residual power left over...” He shook his head. “Yes, I imagine that it's exactly like the one that brought you here.”

Keith glanced over at Katla, who was practically vibrating, she was so excited. “So, what do you need us to do? I mean, we've never encountered tech like this, so how can we help?”

“It's quite simple, really. Our job tonight is to clean each and every one of those lenses and make sure there are no cracks or chips in them. That way, once we're ready to lift off and leave Arus, the castle will be in tip-top shape and ready to fly wherever we need!”

Wait.

Fly?

Katla reacted to what Coran was saying a split second before Keith could.

“This castle is a ship!?”

As Katla began to ask a whole round of new questions, Keith mentally crossed off going back to the holo-deck on his list of plans for the day. There was zero chance of convincing Katla to train when there was even more new technology for her to explore than they'd initially thought and he was going to be by her side every step of the way.

#voltron #fanfiction #kidge #kidgemas #soul of a lion #galra shiro #half galra pidge #half galra keith #altean lance #altean hunk

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woman-loving · 3 years

Text

I’m curious about “respectability politics” and how it applies to variations on the “born this way“ / “it’s not a choice” argument for toleration of homosexuality.

I’ve heard that “respectability politics” was theorized by Evelyn Brooks Higginbotham in Righteous Discontent: The Women's Movement in the Black Baptist Church 1880-1920, which I have not read yet. (Although this might be a good time to start it, cause I’m just about to finish my current book!) My impression was that it referred to appeals to middle-class norms of respectability as a basis for claims to citizenship and protection and nondiscrimination under the law.

I associate the “it’s not a choice” discourse (and I’m not entirely sure if that’s a bit different from the “born this way” discourse) mostly with a counterargument to conservative Christian pronouncements about homosexuality in the US. I had previously rejected the idea that this argument was a form of “respectability politics,” because I didn’t think that “not being able to choose your sexuality” was a typical marker of middle-class respectable citizenship. I had instead described this argument as “toleration politics,” where, rather than being seen as meeting moral (or citizenship) requirements just as well as everyone else, a special exemption from the standard requirement was being requested based on a (tragic) inability to fulfill it.

But I’m thinking about some things I’ve read and feel like variations of these arguments (which each have their own particularity, but also some commonalities imo) may have more to do with respectability than I originally thought.

But the other part of the equation is that they may involve appeals to religious patriarchal moral authorities. And I’m curious about the relationship between patriarchal religious morality--which I would basically describe like that, although I’m trying to work “religious” out of it--and class and citizenship dynamics. Because it seems like, at least in Christianity (and also in Islam from what I know about it), the acknowledged orthodox sexual morality is patriarchal and doesn’t authorize sex outside heterosexual marriage, even if it overlooks it. (But what variations might I be overlooking because they’re not considered orthodox by more institutionalized authorities?) Is there an automatic link between orthodox patriarchal sexual morality and “middle-class respectability,” just because the former is taken as a basis for the later? In the US, appeals to Christian patriarchal morality are also important to citizenship given the influence of Christian conservatives in politics, but is this also/only about middle-class ideals? (This has all got me thinking about the argument I heard Naomi Goldenberg make on The Religious Studies Project that religions can be understood as vestigial states.) I’m also thinking of religious authority here in terms of patriarchal authority: is this a good way to think about it and how is it incomplete?

Anyway, there are some passages that have been fitting themselves together in my brain:

Karen, editor of Frauenliebe, used sexological concepts of congenital and acquired homosexuality to draw a strict boundary between the two. She argued that anyone seeking same-sex love out of enjoyment of transgression [acquired homosexuality] damaged society and should be "separated from the public." On the other hand, Karen continued, "Same-sex behavior, entered into voluntarily and clearly by both partners [congenital homosexuality], belongs, like every intimate heterosexual behavior, to the realm of things one accepts but does not talk about."[68] Karen also warned aspiring writers to avoid writing explicitly about sexual experience in their stories and essays.[69]

Categorical exclusion shaped a debate in Frauenliebe about bisexuality. Like prostitutes, bisexuals were excluded from homosexual community. Frauenliebe printed fifteen responses to a letter asking readers to express their view on women who had relationships with both sexes.[70] They saw homosexuality as moral and bisexuality as immoral. It was not only movement leaders who wanted to discipline sexual desire in their followers. Letters from readers grouped bisexual women with prostitutes and "sensual" heterosexual women, accusing all of seeking homosexual experiences out of curiosity or sensual desire rather than as an expression of inner character.[71] [...]

Vilification of bisexual women allowed women the opportunity to enter into the classification and definition work of sexology and to create a purified figure of the female homosexual suitable for political citizenship. The "sexual" in homosexual was tamed through strict denial that irresistible desire defined the category. Rejection of prostitutes and bisexuals allowed women to construct "female homosexuality" as materially and sexually pure. As a type, they argued, "true" homosexuals kept desire under the control of the individual will.

-- Marti M Lybeck, Desiring Emancipation: New Women and Homosexuality in Germany, 1890-1933, 2015 Fuller quote here. This one links sexual morality and citizenship most directly and perhaps in the most “respectable” way (the realm of things you don’t talk about).

To understand how MSM is read, it is important to examine how explicit and implicit boundaries are drawn around the category gay. Consider, for example, a passage from Paul Farmer in which he claims that, in recent years, there have been fewer HIV cases than predicted among gay men in the United States, a category he implicitly racializes as White via the contrast with “injection drug users, inner-city people of color, and persons originally from poor countries in sub-Saharan Africa or the Caribbean.”21(p47) He further excludes gay from poor and suggests that “males involved in prostitution are almost universally poor, and it may be their poverty, rather than their sexual preference, that puts them at risk of HIV infection. Many men involved in homosexual prostitution, particularly minority adolescents, do not necessarily identify as gay.”21(p47) With this juxtaposition, Farmer seems to suggest that same-gender behavior among poor men of color (especially youth) is sex work rather than sex for pleasure and is devoid of identity and community; same-gender behavior among White men is read as synonymous with gay identity.

Compare these assumptions with a recent ethnographic report on men at risk for HIV in Dakar, Senegal.22 While many of these “men who have sex with men” are poor and engage in sex work, the authors found that they have indigenous sexual-minority identities that are differentiated and socially meaningful. Senegalese sexual-minority identities serve as a basis for social organization, including, but not limited to, sexual roles. The authors describe ibbi as men who “tend to adopt feminine mannerism[s] and to be less dominant in sexual interactions,”22(p505) whereas yoos are men who “are generally the insertive partner.” They also stress that the categories have “more to do with social identity and status than with sexual practices.”22(p506) [...]

Is MSM a useful term for describing groups that eschew prominent LGB categories? Much has been made of the fact that men on the DL lead secret lives and do not consider themselves gay.25,26 But DL is not a behavioral category that can be conveyed as MSM. As Frank Leon Roberts has put it, “DL is . . . about performing a new identity and embracing a hip-hop sensibility [italics added].”27DL functions not as a nonidentity but as an alternative sexual identity and community denoting same-gender interest, masculine gender roles distinct from the feminized sissy or faggot, Black racial/ethnic identity, and a dissociation from both White and Black middle-class gay cultures.26–28

-- “The Trouble With “MSM” and “WSW”: Erasure of the Sexual-Minority Person in Public Health Discourse,“ by Rebecca M Young and Ilan H Meyer, published in American Journal of Public Health, July 2005. This one doesn’t deal with the “it’s not a choice" argument directly, but suggests who people might want to exclude and have actually excluded in practice from categories of “sexual orientation" and “born this way” gay identity.

Omar’s analysis of linguistic terms has direct impact upon the issue of interpretation of the Qur’an. This analysis, published in 1997, predated the El-Moumni Affair by four years, yet illustrates exactly the conflation of terms which the imam pronounced in that controversial interview. Omar writes, “Many words are used to express sexual relationships that take place between man-and-man or between woman-and-woman. . . . Whether in modern standard Arabic or local dialects, there are terms like sexual deviance (al-shudhudh al-jinsiyya) and sodomy (al-liwat) and also homosexuality (al-junusiyya). . . . The problem is that most people use these different terms as synonyms, creating a situation of naming experiences with names that do not really fit, thereby generating misunderstanding and confusion about the topic of sexual orientation. . . . I see the critical importance of writing about homosexuality as the attempt to remove these confusing mix-ups of terms and issues.”[15] In this crucial passage, Omar explains that his project is to differentiate between homosexuality and sodomy. In his understanding, the Qur’an condemns sodomy as the act of anal penetration rather than homosexuality as sexual orientation, while the Islamic legal tradition mistakenly conflates the two.[16]

The distinction between homosexuality and sodomy makes sense if one asserts that there is a psychological reality called sexual orientation, which is separate from and prior to any sexual act. He writes, “Sex is a phenomenon that happens by way of the body, whereas sexuality is a matter existing at the level of psyche and personality.”[17] In his analysis, only a person with a psychological identity of constant and exclusive same-sex desire should be called “homosexual” (junusi in his terminology, or mithli jinsiyya in the Arabic terminology of other contemporary writers). The person who performs same-sex acts without doing so within the framework of exclusively homosexual orientation can be described as sodomite (luti). It is this behavior that characterizes the Tribe of Lot, who wanted to perform same-sex acts for reasons other than as a genuine expression of their sexual identity and psychological persona.[18] Omar’s analysis challenges classical Islamic law. Jurists instituted practical norms forbidding same-sex acts such as sodomy (liwat), with the assumption that those performing them were, in their inmost character, actually heterosexual (or at least functionally bisexual).

--Living Out Islam: Voices of Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Muslims, by Scott Siraj al-Haqq Kugle, 2014. I read this one yesterday. I can’t be sure whether bisexual people are considered at all, even as a footnote, in Omar’s analysis, and if they are, whether their pursuit of same-gender sex would be categorized with the acceptable homosexuals or unacceptable heterosexuals. I’m not sure here if Omar has in mind for sodomy rape specifically, or any anal penetration, or sexual activity (anal or not) between men that’s perceived as ‘voluntary’ rather than following the demands of exclusive sexual orientation.

But I think it’s interesting how intent/context/constraint of orientation is factored into ethical analysis here and in the first quote, in a way that accepts some forms of or reasons for having same-gender sex as unethical or socially disruptive. And in the first quote, these ‘voluntary’ expressions are imagined to be rooted in hypersexuality and sex work, distinctly un-middle-class. The last quote is engaging with Islamic legal traditions as well as theology, and I don’t know much about how this articulates with “citizenship,” although the author was writing in the Netherlands where LGBT rights were guaranteed by secular authorities.

Anyway, that’s what was bouncing around my head last night.

#lgbtq #born this way #it's not a choice #citizenship #respectability politics #religion #patriarchy

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quellgame · 3 years

Text

Prolegomena 1 - Nietzsche's Legacy

a. Cringe Culture as Philistinism

In his book Anti-Nietzsche, Malcolm Bull provides a thorough critique of Nietzschean aesthetic thought. “Philistine,” Bull claims, is the insult of contemporary times. A philistine is somebody who refuses to appreciate high culture, or fine art; one who denies aesthetic value. Yet, for all the vitriol, nobody seems to have taken on the mantle of philistinism. If there are no philistines, what explains the endless accusations?

If philistines were to have a theory, argues Bull, it must take shape as the transience of all values. We know from Nietzsche that nihilism approaches the devaluation of all value - but that this very devaluation requires a re-evaluation. For Nietzsche, evaluation ultimately takes the form of aesthetic valuation. It is easy to deny specific values, but it is not so easy to be rid of value altogether. Nietzsche argues that it is impossible to completely remove valuation. Once all other values have been removed, nothing is left but pure preference. This is the role of the superman: as taste-maker - the creator of value. But if there is no base on which value rests, why not re-evaluate these newly created values?

Thus, although value may be ineradicable, it may also be fragile, and its existence in any one area a contingent historical fact dependent on local conditions. [...] With this in mind, it is worth asking whether the fact that philistinism is a form of negation that is universally condemned but nowhere visible may be [...] a historically significant indication of the nature and location of positive value in contemporary society. (Bull, 6)

Nowhere can a challenge to aesthetic norms be seen more clearly in contemporary culture than in the based/cringe debate. “Based” refers to content that is aesthetically appealing in some undefined but culturally understood sense, while “cringe” refers to content that makes one “cringe” - is unappealing both aesthetically and morally. If Bull’s method is correct, it would do us well to take a look at based culture in an attempt to understand where its values lie. We’ll argue that based culture is oppressive. As based culture’s aesthetic opposite, we have a moral imperative to examine cringe culture so as to discover and replicate its value framework.

Bull’s genius lies in his method of deconstructing Nietzche: instead of reading Nietzsche as intended - on the side of the oppressor, or against the oppressor - Bull decides to read Nietzsche like a loser - as the one to whom all the fiery rhetoric is spoken. In this way, Bull discovers Nietzsche as a groomer, and positions himself as a rejected candidate. He examines Nietzsche’s rhetoric and theoretical framework to understand how and why Nietzsche is so capable of pulling in an audience and making them believe him. I’ll argue that Nietzsche’s abusive rhetoric is directly mirrored in both fascism and in based culture.

b. Nietzsche as Groomer

Nietzsche intends his books to be read for victory. He calls to an audience like himself, those who “belong to a time that has not yet come to pass;” in other words, people who might transcend the “idiotic,” “subhuman,” “slave-like” nature of contemporary society. Clearly, this is cruelty, but it is

[n]o wonder Nitezsche can so confidently identify his readers with the Supermen. It is not just flattery. If Nietzsche’s readers have mastered his text, they have demonstrated just those qualities of ruthlessness and ambition that qualify them to be ‘masters of the earth’. (Bull, 35)

One might recognize this as the first step in any grooming process: flatter your target, make them feel safe and loved. Fulfil for them a need: in this case, the need for power. Once the indoctrination has begun, those in power can begin to ostracize and criminalize the group they have othered. In Nietzsche’s case, few are left unscathed: only those powerful enough to say “yes” to the void will find within themselves the power to create value - and only they can survive the onslaught of nihilism. The rest will perish - and to Nietzsche, that is a good thing.

This is clearly mirrored in grooming tactics used by white supremacists and pedophiles. I will use my own experience as an example.

// CW: pedophilia, white supremacy //

As a child I spent a lot of time on a forum dedicated to the Super Mario Bros. franchise. The forum was not age-appropriate - several members talked openly about their time on 4chan; about pornography and subculture. Naturally I was curious. I wanted to consider myself grown, so I could talk about my interests. So I emulated the adults’ behavior. Eventually I started consuming pornography and visiting 4chan’s /b/ board. That’s where I was first exposed to Nazism and to child pornography. I recall having conversations about loli and shota when I was fairly young. I thought this was all quite normal - or at the very least, that I was strong enough to overcome whatever may happen to me as long as I could satisfy the need to see bodies like mine in a sexual context. In many cases, child pornography would be packaged alongside pornography featuring trans actors, as both were considered equally “alternative.” This is how I first discovered trans women - and this is not an uncommon narrative.

I was made comfortable: welcomed into a community where I could talk about my interests to a sympathetic audience. I was told I was special. I found myself trusting this community more than my local culture - they gave me an outlet to explore my queer identity from a young age. Then they showed me content that was actively harmful to my psyche - and I was threatened with jail time and social ostracization should I be caught. This is the grooming pattern.

Nietzsche makes his audience comfortable: he fulfils the need to obtain power through his writing style. He tells his audience they are special - literally superhuman. Then he launches abuse at every opportunity. He creates his sense of power through relating to the master race, the blonde beast; by actively deriding others and openly calling for the extermination of all “slave-like races.” And he says: we are unlike the others, you and I; and should you tell them this, you will be ostracized. So stay with me. Let’s conquer the world together.

This is directly echoed in the fascist grooming pipeline. Gamergate is an exceptional example: gamers were made to feel oppressed; they were made to be othered, then used the rage at their so-called oppression to be swayed into fascist beliefs. And should they leave, they too would be exterminated. You must be based. Kill the cringe. We see now the slogan “6MWE.” We see open genocide and warmongering in the American government (which, frankly, is nothing new). America has become a proudly fascist state - and much of this is with Nietzsche’s influence.

// CW //

If Nietzsche’s core project is abusive, how do we overcome it? Bull’s method is to reject the core hermeneutic: instead of reading for victory, we’ll read like losers. Whenever Nietzsche fires abuse at some subhuman thing, we will take the position of the abused. “Rather than reading for victory with Nietzsche, or even reading for victory against Nietzsche by identifying with the slave morality, we read for victory against ourselves, making ourselves the victims of the text. [...] Reading like losers will make us feel powerless and vulnerable” (Bull, 37). We can see this displayed quite clearly in cringe culture - it is an entire aesthetic created from the feeling of being worthless and small; of being less-than, plentiful, disposable - and embracing it. What does it mean to be one of these herd-creatures, so deprived of power? What could our values be?

c. Levelling

To understand what the losers of the nihilistic future believe in, we need to take a quick look at the history of Nietzsche’s interpreters, and how our understanding of the history of nihilism has developed over the years. This is the same history as the history of Being, the history of Nothingness. Bull spends much of the text discussing this, and it is well worth the read, but we’ll have to suffice for a brief synopsis here.

Bull brings us from the superman down to the lowest form, travelling from subhuman to animal to inanimate. He does so by continuing to read like a loser: examining Nietzsche himself, then Heidegger, then contemporary scholars Vatimo, Nancy, and Agamben. In each of these scholars Bull finds a target: for Nietzsche, the subhuman; for Heidegger, the animal; and for our contemporary scholars, the inanimate. In each case we must consider ourselves the loser of the exchange - we must consider ourselves as one with the subhuman, the animal, and the inanimate. We must become a mirror, reflecting on mu - absolute nothingness.

In essence: We must bring ourselves down to the lowest level of the un-valued if we are to escape the extremities of prejudice which Nietzsche’s lessons, so embedded in our culture, have taught us. This is levelling. Its essence is radical empathy. Nietzsche’s earlier works were focused on overcoming nihilism; he later gave up and decided that he must himself be a nihilist, one who destroys. Yet, in declaring himself a nihilist I think he was grasping at a concept that Hegel explains best: non-nihilating contradiction. To overcome nihilism is the same as to become a nihilist: to become dynamite - self-nihilating. If we are to reevaluate all values, we must obliterate ourselves. We must re-evaluate the concept of self, the concept of reality.

#philosophy #nietzsche #trauma #nihilism

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metanoiamorii · 3 years

Text

❛A DEVIL'S FINEST TRICK IS TO PERSUADE YOU THAT HE DOES NOT EXIST.❜

Dámianus took in a breath when he heard the familiar, annoying footsteps stomping forward. With haste, came the familiar, annoying voice. "Can you believe it?!"

Breathing in, it took his full strength to keep a leveled tone, not show his annoyance. "Believe what?"

His brother scowled, as if he was the idiot present. "They failed!"

"Pity." Was all Dámianus could think to say. He had to hide his smile upon hearing the news. He had an act to keep. "They must have not followed the plan, I did give them detailed instructions after all."

"How are you so apathetic?!" Makjo scoffed, eyes rolling. "That's our father—"

"Your father." Dámianus corrected. "You are his son, I am his errand boy."

"Oh wow, its a misery you proved yourself capable and he saw your potential!" Makjo mockingly threw back, going as far to make a fake, crying gesture to accompany his words.

Dámianus, however, quick to smile, tilted his head to the side. "Oh, does that mean he saw no potential in you?"

It was worth it, to watch the brat's features scrunch and his face to go red. A finger raised, and going to bite back. "You—"

Already walking off, Dámianus tucked the parchment beneath his arm. "I suppose I will go meet with our allies and see what went wrong." Casually he spoke, striding forward, leaning down, pecking his brother's cheek, and using the opportunity to quietly whisper, "Don't grow too comfortable. Many people will come for your crown." Before Makjo could reply, he had already taken his leave, to find better company he could tolerate.

At least the brat was an idiot. He had yet to see through everything. He had slipped up with their father, the bastard caught on at the last second. He barely corrected that.. But he had no doubt with Makjo, the brat would never see anything coming... still. He needed to be more careful if all were to be successful.

♧ Chosen Name: Dámianus D'truiryxr

♧ Aliases:

• Dame

• Dami

• Damocles Aliah Teivel; his human guise

• Your Glorious Insane Highness

• Ali; reserved for his nanny alone

• Funny Monkey Man; reserved for his partner

• Lord Teivel

• Princeling

♧ Known as:

• The Angel Of Darkness

• The Mad One of The Void

• The Mad Trickster

• The Mad One

• The Trickster of Madness

• The Bane of All

• The Lord of the Citadel of Madness

♧ Gender: Agender

♧ Preferred Pronouns: He/They

♧ Race: Old One

♧ Sexuality: Grey-Asexual; Aromantic

♧ Ethnicity: Will appear Kiyese in a human guise

♧ Height: 7'02 in his true appearance; 6'03.5 in a human appearance

♧ Age Appearance: In a human guise he appears in his late thirties, early forties.

♧ True Appearance: Dámianus is said to take after his mother more than his father. From his father he inherited the smooth rounded ears and slim, nearly hairless tail with a tuft of black fur at the tip. As the natural red eyes he possesses. He's rather slim, but tall, with pale skin. He possesses a set of dark wings that tend to drag behind him and are rarely used. For the most part, humanoid.

♧ Human Appearance: For the life of me, I cannot find out their name, so if anyone knows it please tell me.

♧ Key Personality Traits: Manipulative, Cunning, Brilliant, Quick-witted, Vengeful, Well Mannered

♧ Alignment: Lawful Evil

♧ Parents:

• Rihtyxr, father

• Unknown mother

♧ Siblings:

• Hinvyka, brother

• Kysia, sibling

• Tysie, sister

• Nevzan, brother

• Makjo, brother [deceased]

• Mal'rybos, brother

• Slyra, brother [deceased]

• A several hundred other siblings

♧ Partner(s):

• Misam

♧ Other Blood Relations:

• Tyronjis, uncle

• Kaiuroga, aunt

• Arz-Ler'erso, uncle

• Trik'Rjrkite, uncle

• Au-Zaiur'hka, aunt

• Rons'ta, uncle

• Gazini, cousin

• Ao-Ao, cousin

• Eoau, cousin

• Ny'jsetti, cousin

• Jitka Shirin, nanny, sister and maternal figure

♧ Allies:

• Isfétte

• Jitka Shirin

• Kregznic

• Marzomme

• E'aligesri

• Rohabizal

• Ao-Ao

• Eoau

• Gazini

• Jinx

• Ianira

• Misam

• Mehpijka'om

• Eskrja

• Grumpy

• A few hundred others I haven't fleshed out

♧ Enemies:

• Rons'ta

• Tyronjis

• Kaiuroga

• Arz-Ler'erso

• Trik'Rjrkite

• Au-Zaiur'hka

• Rihtyxr

♧ Brief Backstory:

The eldest of Rihtyxr's hundreds of children, Dámianus always served closer as an errand boy than a son. He grew up fast, without the choice of a childhood, to take care of his siblings. Early on, he accepted his role in the family and gracefully handled the responsibilities thrusted onto him. The older— maturer— he became, the more he would distant himself form his family and those family ties. He treated his family like colleagues and allies and not a family.

Only by the influence of Jitka and Isfétte would Dámianus finally accept his gifts and natural talent as a mastermind, and one manipulative son of a bitch. With their assistance and guidance, he would hone his talent to have power over them. When he finally held a strong belief in himself, he set himself to the task of consuming power. Slowly, he turned the allies of his family against them, buying their loyalty to serve him.

With the dependence the family held on him to make their plans and ensure their survival, he was able to trick them. He fooled them into going to war with Khaalida, and trapped them under her watch. The power vacuum was his for the taking... But he decided to play the long game. He allowed his siblings to fight for the power, and he accompanied his cousin— G'javinizia — on his travels across the multi-verse for a time. To further his own knowledge and powers.

When he finally became confident in himself once more, he returned. He got his old allies in line and began to form new ones. And soon, he finally began to get involved in the affair of Viogia to plant his influence. When his influence was sewn deep, Dámianus created his human guise and entered, to act first hand and began inacting the plans he had started so long ago.

♧ Weapon of Choice:

• Roibac'da, The Whip of Insanity

• Tac'bet, a sentient chain

• A set of chained gloves

• His signature cloak

• His sword collection

• A treasured fan he's gifted to his partner

♧ Classification: Trickster

♧ Power Domain: Madness, Trickery, Illusion, Psychic, Enchantment, Time, Wishes

♧ Playlist:

• Burn, Beth Crowley

• Where The Lonely Ones Roam, Digital Daggers

• Coming Home, Avenged Sevenfold

• Feeling Good, Michael Buble

• Broken Crown, Mumford and Sons

• Leader of the Broken Hearts, Papa Roach

• Centuries, Fall Out Boys

• Everyone Wants To Rule The World, Future Royalty

• When You're Evil, Voltaire

• You're Gonna Go Far Kid, The Offspring

• Hard To Kill, Beth Crowley

• Trouble, Valerie Broussard

• You Can Run, Adam Jones

• The Dark Ones, Karliene

• Keep You Safe, Crane Wives

• She Lit A Fire, Lord Huron

• Control, Halsey

• Castle, Halsey

• Monster, Imagine Dragons

• When The Day Comes, Nico and Vinz

• Last One Standing, Simple Plan

• Soldier's Dance, Adrisaurus

• Final Warning, Skylar Grey

• Angel of Darkness, Alex C

• Meet Me On The Battlefield, SVRCINA

• Night Of The Hunter, 30 Seconds To Mar

• Bad Man, King 810

• Throne, Bring Me The Horizon

• I'd Love To Change The World, King 810

♧ Current Wip: Coming Home [CH], The Legacy of Vires Ius [TSOVI], Mercy No More [MNO], A Rope In Hand [ARIH]; he's likely to appear in all of my wips in Viogia as a source of problem starter.

COMING HOME:

THE LEGACY OF VIRES IUS:

A ROPE IN HAND:

GENERAL:

ON ALL:

♧ Some fun facts!

• He has a pet cat named Grumpy, it's based off a displacer beast!

• He takes a shot of whiskey every time one of his idiots does something stupid.

• He's a man that just wants a vacation at this point, somewhere nice and quiet, a distant beach, without responsibilities.

• He says he doesn't like children, but if given the opportunity he'd probably adopt an entire orphanage or seventy.

• The only people he will possibly listen to, to get him to back down from doing something, is Jitka and Isfétte.

• He knows how to hold a grudge. It doesn't matter how many years it takes, he'll get payback... In an extreme fashion that is probably unwarranted in that degree.

• Given the chance, he would kill 96% of his siblings and family...

• Although he's the source of major chaos in the universe, he cares deeply for order and rules.

• In public he will dress in tailcoats, but as long as he's home he prefers to wear a variety of kimonos.

• The only way you can upset him is by: mentioning Rons'ta in his presence, favoring his siblings in his presence, dissing his nanny, being disrespectful towards women when he's around, hurting and/or belittling children and animals in his presence. And then, and only then, he'll kill you without remorse!

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d-criss-news · 4 years

Link

Darren Criss acts as playwright when he writes songs. He’s far more confident, and certainly more vulnerable, when he allows himself to play the part. In such a way, songwriting opens up a whole new world that pulses with untapped potential. So much of what he has accomplished in 15 years resides in his willingness to expose himself to what his imagination and intuition have in store. He steps into a playwright’s shoes with considerable ease (just look at his resume), and always one to put on plenty of bravado, especially during our Zoom face-to-face, it’s the natural order of things.

“As I get older and write more and more songs, I really recognize that I’ve always preferred to write for another context other than my own,” Criss tells American Songwriter. He speaks with a cool intensity, gesturing emphatically to accentuate a sentence, and when you let him go, he’s like the Energizer Bunny 一 “I can tell by just how quiet you already are that you’re fucked,” he jokes at the start of our video chat. But he remains just as engaged and focused when listening.

He soaks in the world, taking astute notes about behavior and emotional traits he can later use in song. His storytelling, though, arrives already in character, fully formed portraits he can then relay to the world. It’s not that he can’t be vulnerable, like such greats as Randy Newman, Tom Waits, and Rufus Wainwright, who have all embroidered their work with deeply personal observations, it just doesn’t feel as comfortable. “I’ve always really admired the great songwriters of the world who are extremely introspective and can put their heart and soul on the chopping block,” he muses. “That’s a vulnerability that I think is so majestic. I’ve never had access to it. I’m not mad about it. It’s just good to know what your deal is.”

Criss’ strengths lie in his ability to braid his own experiences, as charmed as they might be, into wild, goofy fantasies. In the case of his new series “Royalties,” now streaming on Quibi, he walks a fine line between pointed commentary on the music industry, from menial songwriting sessions to constantly chasing down the next smash, and oddball comedy that is unequivocally fun. Plotted with long-standing friends and collaborators Matt and Nick Lang, co-founders of Team StarKid, created during their University of Michigan days (circa 2009), the show’s conceptual nucleus dates back more than a decade.

If “Royalties” (starring Criss and Kether Donohue) feels familiar, that’s because it is. The 10-episode show ─ boasting a smorgasbord of delightful guest stars, including Mark Hammill, Georgia King, Julianna Hough, Sabrina Carpenter, and Lil Rel Howery ─ captures the very essence of a little known web series called “Little White Lie.” Mid-summer 2009, Team StarKid uploaded the shoddy, low budget production onto YouTube, and its scrappy tale of amateur musicians seeking fame and fortune quickly found its audience, coming on the heels of “A Very Potter Musical,” co-written with and starring Criss. Little did the trio know, those initial endeavors laid the groundwork for a lifetime of creative genius.

“It’s a full circle moment,” says Criss, 33, zooming from his Los Angeles home, which he shares with his wife Mia. He’s fresh-faced and zestful in talking about the new project. 11 years separate the two series, but their connective thematic tissues remain striking. “Royalties” is far more polished, the obvious natural progression in so much time, and where “Little White Lie” soaked in soapy melodrama, the former analyzes the ins and outs of the music world through more thoughtful writing, better defined (and performed) characters, and hookier original tunes.

“Royalties” follows Sara (Donohue) and Pierce (Criss), two struggling songwriters in Los Angeles, through various career exploits and pursuits. The pilot, titled “Just That Good,” features an outlandish performance from Rufus Wainwright as a major player in dance-pop music, kickstarting the absurdity of Criss’ perfectly-heightened reality. As our two main characters stumble their way between songwriting sessions, finally uncovering hit single potential while eating a hot dog, Criss offers a glimpse into the oft-unappreciated art of songwriting.

In his own songwriting career ─ from 2010’s self-released Human EP and a deal with Columbia Records (with whom a project never materialized) to 2017’s Homework EP and Computer Games’ debut, Lost Boys Life, (a collaboration with his brother Chuck) ─ he’s learned a thing or two about the process. Something about sitting in a room with someone you’ve never met before always rang a little funny to him.

“You meet a stranger, and you have to be creative, vulnerable, and open. It’s speed-dating, essentially. It’s a different episode every time you pull it off or not. All the big songwriters will tell you all these crazy war stories. Everyone has a wacky story from songwriting,” he says. “I slowly realized I may ─ I can’t flatter myself, there are tons of creative people who are songwriters ─ have prerequisites to just put the two together [TV and music]. I’ve worked enough in television as an actor and creator. I can connect the dots. I had dual citizenship where I felt like it was really time for me to go forth with this show.”

But a packed professional life pushed the idea to the backburner.

Between six seasons of “Glee” (playing Blaine Anderson, a Warbler and lover to Chris Colfer’s Kurt Hummel), starring in “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” on Broadway, and creating Elsie Fest, a one-day outdoor festival celebrating songs of the stage and screen, he never had the time. “I was lucky enough to be busy,” he says. “As Team StarKid’s star was continuing to rise with me being separate from it, I was trying to think of a way to get involved again with songwriting.”

At one point, “Glee” had officially wrapped and his Broadway run was finished. It appeared “Royalties” may finally get its day in the sun. “I went to Chicago for a work pilgrimage with the Langs. We had a few days, and we put all our ideas on the map: every musical, feature film, show, graphic novel, and animated series we’ve ever thought of,” he says. “A lot of them were from the Langs; they were just things I was interested in as a producer or actor. We looked at all of them and made a top three.”

“Royalties” obviously made the cut.

Fast forward several years, Gail Berman’s SideCar, a production company under FOX Entertainment, was looking to produce a music show. Those early conversations, beginning at an otherwise random LA party, showed great promise in airlifting the concept from novel idea to discernible reality. Things quickly stalled, however, as they often do in Hollywood, but Criss had at least spoken his dreams into the universe.

“I finally had an outlet to put it into gear. It wasn’t until two to three years after that that things really locked in. We eventually made shorts and made a pilot presentation. We showed it to people, and it wasn’t until Quibi started making their presence known that making something seemed really appealing,” he says. “As a creator, they’re very creator-centric. They’re not a studio. They’re a platform. They are licensing IP much like when a label licenses an indie band’s album after the fact.”

Quibi has drawn severe ire over the last few months, perhaps because there is a “Wild Westness” to it, Criss says. “I think that makes some people nervous. Being my first foray into something of this kind, Quibi felt like a natural partner for us. If this had been a network or cable show, we would’ve molded it to be whatever it was.”

Format-wise, “Royalties” works best as bite-sized vignettes, charming hijinks through the boardroom and beyond, and serves as a direct response to a sea of music shows, from “Nashville” and “Empire” to “Smash.” “Those shows were bigger, more melodramatic looks at the inside base of our world. I’ve always been a goofball, and I just wanted to take the piss out of it,” he says. “This show isn’t about songwriting. It’s about songwriters… but a very wacky look at them.”

“30 Rock,” a scripted comedy loosely based around “Saturday Night Live,” in which the focus predominantly resides around the characters, rather than the business itself, was also on his mind. “It’s about the interconnectivity of the people and characters. As much of the insider knowledge that I wanted to put into our show, at the end of the day, you just want to make a fun, funny show that’s relatable to people who know nothing about songwriting and who shouldn’t have to know anything.”

Throughout 10 episodes, Criss culls the “musicality, fun, and humor” of Fountains of Wayne’s Adam Schlesinger and Max Martin, two of his biggest songwriting heroes, and covers as many genres as possible, from K-Pop to rap-caviar and classic country. While zip-lining between formats, the songs fully rely on a sturdy storytelling foundation ─ only then can Criss drape the music around the characters and their respective trajectories. “I wanted to do something where I could use all the muscles I like to flex at once, instead of compartmentalizing them,” he says. “I really love writing songs for a narrative, not necessarily for myself. I thrive a little more when I have parameters, characters, and a story to tell.”

Bonnie McKee, one of today’s greatest pop architects, takes centerstage, too, with an episode called “Kick Your Shoes Off,” in which she plays a bizarro version of herself. “She has her own story, and I’ve always been fascinated by it,” says Criss, who took her out to lunch one day to tell her about it. Initially, the singer-songwriter, known for penning hits for Katy Perry, Taio Cruz, and Britney Spears, would anchor the entire show, but it soon became apparent she would simply star in her own gloriously zany episode.

In one of the show’s standout scenes, Pierce and Sara sit in on a label meeting with McKee’s character and are tasked with writing a future hit. But they quickly learn how many cooks are in the kitchen at any given moment. Everyone from senior level executives to publicists and contracted consultants have an opinion about the artist’s music. One individual urges her to experiment, while another begs not to alienate her loyal fanbase, and then a third advises her to chronicle the entire history of music itself ─ all within three minutes or so. It’s absurd, and that’s the point. “Everyone’s been in that meeting, whether you’re in marketing or any creative discussion that has to be made on a corporate level by committee. It’s the inevitable, comedic contradictions and dissociations from not only rationality but feasibility.”

Criss also draws upon his own major label days, having signed with Sony/Columbia right off the set of “Glee,” as well as second-hand accounts from close friends. “There are so many artists, particularly young artists, who famously get chewed up and spat out by the label system,” he says. “There’s a lot of sour tastes in a lot of people’s mouths from being ‘mistreated’ by a label. I have a lot of friends who’ve had very unfortunate experiences.”

“I was really lucky. I didn’t have that. I have nothing but wonderful things to say,” he quickly adds.“It wasn’t a full-on drop or anything. I was acting, and I was spreading myself really thin. It’s a record label’s job to make product, and I was doing it piecemeal here and there. I would shoot a season [of ‘Glee’] and then do a play. I was doing too many things. I didn’t have it in me at the time to do music. I had written a few songs I thought were… fine.”

Both Criss and the label came to the same conclusion: perhaps this professional relationship just wasn’t a good fit. They parted ways, and he harbors no ill-will. In fact, he remains close friends with many folks from that time. So, it seems, a show like “Royalties” satisfies his deep hunger to make music and write songs ─ and do it totally on his own terms.

“I still say I want to put out music, and fans have been very vocal about that. I feel very fortunate they’re still interested at all,” he says. “That passion for making music really does come out in stuff like [this show].”

“Royalties” is Darren Criss at his most playful, daring, and offbeat. It’s the culmination of everything he has tirelessly worked toward over the last decade and a half. Under pressure with a limited filming schedule, he hits on all cylinders with a soundtrack, released on Republic Records, that sticks in the brain like all good pop music should do. And it would not have been the same had he, alongside Matt and Nick Lang, not formed Team StarKid 11 years ago.

Truth be told, it all began with a “Little White Lie.”

#darren criss #american songwriter #royalties press #press #royalties #june 2020

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jcogginsawriter · 3 years

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Hand to Hand: Mark Waid’s Flash

I have been a fan of comic book characters for a long time. I started with the cartoons, and as I got older, I began doing deep dives into wikis, reading fanfiction, and participating in that shallowest of internet past times, the vs debate. I dabbled in writing fanfic for myself, but I spent far more time thinking about writing fanfic instead. I would come up with all these ideas about what I would take from the various different versions of the characters, and don’t get me started on the idea of Crossovers. The point is, I knew a lot of what happened in the comics, but I never read many comics. I didn’t know where my local comic shop was, and even if I did, I wouldn’t have had the money to spend on them. The comics that I did read were usually fan translations of manga. I did read a few comics, big name stories like Death of Superman or Crisis on Infinite Earths, but they were few and far between.

Recently, I’ve begun to change that. I now follow several comics as they come out, most notably the current X-line. This change sprang in part because I began reading a lot more comics criticism. In particular, I followed the blog of a certain Superman fan, and began to eagerly digest his various takes. I wanted to be able to ask him questions about new comics without looking like an idiot (This is how 90 percent of my interactions on comics twitter go, BTW) and that was a kick in the pants for me.

After getting into a steady habit, I decided to look into reading some of the classic runs I’d read so much about throughout life. To go from knowing them second hand, to knowing them first hand. After a bit of hemming and hawing, I’ve settled on Mark Waid’s legendary run of Flash Comics to start off with.

(Spoiler Warning for some 30 year old comics, by the way)

As of this writing, I have read up to the final issue of his story arc Dead Heat, wherein Wally does battle with the speed cultist Savitar. Before we get into things like plot and characters, I want to discuss the art, because no discussion of comic books is really complete without talking about the art. Unfortunately, the art in this run hasn’t done much for me, but that’s not really it’s fault. I read this comics in manner that they were not created to be read, digitally and zoomed in. These comics were drawn with physical issues in mind, and I don’t doubt that they’re good in that format. It also doesn’t help that I’ve read far more manga than I have American comics. American comics have never clicked with me the way manga does. Even now, I still find the layout of manga more legible than the layout of an American comic. That’s not a value judgment, it’s just my personal experience.

I do distinctly recall thinking that the art was better up to issue #79 (The conclusion to the Return of Barry Allen storyline), than it was after. I prefer the less exaggerated character designs, and lighter inks, though it could very well be a case of me having gotten used to the initial style and not liking the change. One thing that thing I can say about the art is that it helped me grasp how Wally’s costume differed from Barry’s. Before this, I was incapable of separating them in my mind, but seeing them side by side made it clear to me how different Wally’s Costume was colored and shaded.

Now, onto the writing of the run, we’ll start with the lead, Wally West. My previous touchstone for Wally was the Justice League series from the DCAU, which I watched a lot as a kid. The Wally in these comics comes off as more serious that his DCAU incarnation. Not too serious, he still cracks jokes, but he’s more on the ball. He takes his adventures as seriously as any hero would, rather than the more carefree attitude I recall his DCAU version having. This is not unsurprising, Wally here is the lead whereas there he was part of an ensemble cast, and here we get his internal monologue which gives us a much more thorough sense of his headspace. Not to mention, the DCAU version was voiced, so we know with no ambiguity what tone his dialogue’s in. In text, tone is more up to interpretation.

Perhaps the biggest thing that set Comic Wally apart from DCAU Wally is that the Wally in the comic was more consistently angry and frustrated. While his DCAU incarnation had hidden depths, I can’t recall a time when he got seriously angry. This Wally is frequently irritated, usually by things which are enitrely understandable. On occasion, his irritability causes him to be rougher with the bad guys than he could be, and that feels uncomfortable sometimes, though thus far he hasn’t gone too far.

Going into this, I knew that one of the issues that Wally had to overcome was his mental block about surpassing Barry, and to my surprise, it wasn’t as much of a through-line as I expected. I was expecting it to be a reoccurring issue that was solved by the Return of Barry Allen storyline, but in reality there are only one or two times something like it comes up, usually in the context of him not being able to do the vibrating through walls trick. In the Return of Barry Allen, it feels more like an issue introduced in that story than a long running plot line. Granted, it may only feel this way because I’m solely reading Mark Waid’s Flash. I didn’t read the issues prior to his take over, so that storyline could have been more apparent there for all I know.

Moving on, starting with Waid’s run had another knock on effect, that being that the character introductions aren’t introductions. I came into this expecting to see when Wally met Linda, when he met Jay Garrick, when Pied Piper redeemed himself, but all of that happened before Waid took over the book, so they’re already part of the cast from the start. Again, not a flaw of the work, it’s just a result of my personal experiences. Now, let’s take a look at some of these characters.

I’ve heard a lot about Linda and Wally’s romance, and so far it’s not bad. I wouldn’t rate it as one of the best of all time, but I haven’t gotten to most of the major moments yet, so that’s not a huge surprise. One thing that’s very apparent is the Lois Lane DNA in her character. Some of that is to be expected, which the love interest to your superhero is a reporter, but I see a lot of similarities in their personality as well. There’s a lot of the same fire in her. Fortunately, the fact that Wally’s identity is public lends a very different arc to their relationship than what you see with Lois and Clark, so Linda doesn’t come off as a Lois rip-off. Linda’s concerns that there’s no place for her in Wally’s wild superhero life is the kind of relationship hurdle that isn’t present in Lois and Clark’s Relationship.

Next, let’s take a look at the first Flash, Jay Garrick. Within this series, Jay is perfectly pleasant, and by no means unlikable, but he also comes across as...kind of superfluous? There are three elderly male speedsters in this comic, and of all of them Jay is by far the least defined and has the least role. Max Mercury is the Wally’s mentor in the ways of speed, the one with the most knowledge of the Speed Force. He’s basically what I expected Jay Garrick to be going into this. The third of the group is Johnny Quick, a speedster who is the father of another speedster, Jesse Quick. Jesse is also very skeptical of Max Mercury’s teachings, which veer from the scientific into the mystical.

Because Johnny takes the role of skeptic, Jay is left without a role in the narrative because being the nicest of Wally’s friend group. Veering over to Hollywood for a second, whenever a book gets adapted into a movie or TV Show, minor characters get lost in the transition. Either they get composited with other characters, or they get cut entirely. Game of Thrones is the most prominent example in recent memory. I bring this up because, if Waid’s Flash were to go through that process, it’s hard to argue that Jay wouldn’t get the ax. Despite being the most important of them in the context of the universe at large, Jay is the least important Speedster in this narrative. Of course, Jay’s importance in the context of the larger universe means that in this hypothetical adaptation, he probably be composited into either max or Johnny. More likely Max, since mentor is the logical position for the first Flash to take in the Third Flash’s narrative.

I mentioned Jess Quick there, so let’s talk about her. Thus far, her most prominent role in the narrative has been to call Wally out and be his critic, though she does have very good reasons to be angry. In the Terminal Velocity storyline, Wally believes he’ll die soon, and tells the Flash Family that Jesse will be his successor, but it turns out to be a lie in order to motivate Bart Allen to take things more seriously. Jesse has remained angry with Wally since then, though it hasn’t seriously impacted her hero work. That’s good, because her continued competence lends legitimacy to her anger within the narrative. She’s not being punished for being mad at Wally for mistreating her. Hopefully it stays that way going forward.

Now let’s take a look at the character Wally chose over Jesse, Bart Allen AKA Impulse. I’ll say up front that I’m not reading Bart’s solo series during this read through, as I didn’t want the hassle of going back and forth between books. As such, the only issues of it that I’ve looked at are the ones that tie into the Dead Heat arc. I feel it’s important for me to say this, because I’m basing my opinions of Bart primarily on his showings in Wally’s book, not his own. In Wally’s book, Bart’s character flaws are more on display.

Bart is a character deliberately designed to be obnoxious, and such characters are a hard tightrope to walk in fiction. Gotta be annyoing enough to get the point across, but not annoying enough to turn people off from the work. Bart in Wally’s book isn’t perfectly balanced, and tends toward the too much pile. Not to an egregious extent, but a little bit. I found myself echoing Wally’s frustration with Bart more than a few times. In Bart’s defense, Wally does share some of the blame here. He doesn’t do a very good job as a mentor, and handing those duties off to Max is probably for the best.

I find it interesting, that a character like Wally who is so defined by inheriting a legacy is a poor mentor, to both Bart and Jesse. He makes different mistakes with both of them, but he still fails both of them. I’m eager to see how that plays out in the future issues.

Now that we’ve discussed the supporting cast, let’s discuss some of the book’s villains. We’ll start with the one who is most infamous, Eobard Thawne. Thawne’s spends the majority of his time in this book thinking he’s Barry Allen, and if I’m being honest, he’s more effective under that guise that he is as Eobard. The scenes where what appears to be Barry Allen turns evil out of jealousy of his successor are powerful, more so than the more traditional villain Eobard displays after the reveal. Not that it would have been a good idea for it to actually be Barry, of course. Much as I prefer Wally to Barry, having Barry go full supervillain would have been very out of character. In any case, this run had a profound impact on Eobard’s character going forward, solidifying him as an agent of toxic fanboyism, making him a dark mirror of Wally West.

The next major villain of the run is the cult slash terrorist organization Kobra. That might bring thoughts of GI Joe to your mind, and you honestly aren’t far off. So far as this run goes, the biggest differences between DC’s Kobra and Hasbro’s is A) DC’s version prefer green over blue, and B) Hasbro’s version has more in the way of distinct characters. Kobra thus far is more of a plot device than anything else. They’re generic terrorists with little to make them distictive. Their storyline, Terminal Velocity, is more notable for it’s introduction of the Speed Force, Wally preparing for his upcoming ‘death’, and Linda going on a revenge quest after said ‘death’. All things that Kobra is incidental to, any villainous organization would have sufficed.

The final, as of my current point in the run, major villain is Savitar. Savitar was formerly a soviet test pilot who gained a connection to a the speedforce, gave himself the name of Hindu god, and started a speed worshipping cult. It says a lot about my mind that my immediate thoughts upon reading Savitar’s origin were. “Huh, an AU where Hal Jordan became a Speedster the same way would be neat.”. Savitar is in some ways an improvement on the Kobra Cult from Terminal Velocity. This time the Cult has a more direct connection to the Flash and his mythos. Dead Heat is by no means a retread of Terminal Velocity, but if you wanted to mesh them into one story, it wouldn’t be hard. And it’d improve on both, in some ways.

One of the things I like to do in my fanfic ideas is connect the other speedsters to Thawne’s theme of Toxic Fandom, and it wouldn’t be hard to do that with Savitar. His entire motivation is to deprive those he considers unworthy of their speed, and that can easily by played as a metaphor for gatekeeping.

Over all, while the run is far from perfect, I must say I’m enjoying these comics a good deal, and if you’re like me and have read a lot about comics without actually reading them, I don’t think you’d regret jumping into them.

#opinions #personal experience #dc comics #The Flash #wally west #mark waid

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nonbinary-octopus · 4 years

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A Very Unusual Visitor

I really love @kieraelieson’s Tiny Tenants AU, and the other day, I sent her an ask: you know what. I am filled with soft gt longing. I want to be tiny and friends with your Tiny Tenants Logan. I want him to hold me and fiddle gently with me and let me sleep in his pocket. Virgil’s got a good thing going on here!

This is a story about that. More or less.

Wordcount: 2.2 K

[More of my writing]

~~~~~

Logan sat down at his desk, intending to read. However, as he glanced over the wooden surface, his gaze fell on a small form. A borrower. And an unfamiliar one, too. Logan thought he knew all of the borrowers living in his house— Virgil, with whom he believed he could confidently say he was friends, and the much more timid Patton and Dee, and Dee’s young charges, the twins Roman and Remus, who were doing their best to be friends with Logan too, despite their guardian’s wishes to keep him away from them.

This borrower was not any of those. The easiest difference to recognize at a glance was that they had red hair, where the others had shades of brown and black. Yet, despite Logan never having even caught a glimpse of them before, here they were, sitting calmly on his desk, as if they were waiting for him.

“Um,” Logan said, surprised. “Hello?”

The little borrower grinned, looking up at him, and got to their feet. “Hello! You must be Logan, right?”

Logan nodded. Perhaps this borrower had just moved in? The others would have told them about Logan, and Virgil probably would have told them that he was trying his best to be the good kind of human, and wasn’t to be feared. But even so, Logan would never have expected a borrower to be so comfortable around him this quickly. Unless they had been around for some time, watching, and only just now came out to introduce theirself, after they’d felt reasonably sure that Logan was nonthreatening. But then why would they need confirmation on who he was? Unless it was just smalltalk to get the conversation going.

“I’m Hann,” the borrower continued, sticking their hand out at Logan. He recognized the gesture, of course, but had never shook hands with a borrower before. Logan lifted his own hand, trying to figure out how he was supposed to shake the hand of someone who could fit entirely in his hand with room to spare. The borrower didn’t even flinch, still looking up at him expectantly.

Gently, Logan pinched their hand between his thumb and the first knuckle of his pointer finger, lifted it minutely, lowered it again, and then let go, pulling his hand back.

“It is… nice to meet you, Hann,” Logan said. “If extremely unexpected.”

“Sorry,” Hann said, looking at their hand and flexing it. “I didn’t really bother to think of a more plausible introduction.” Softer, more to theirself, they murmured, “I guess I could retcon something…”

Suddenly, Logan’s mind started to fill with unfamiliar memories. A snapshot of this same borrower, soaked to the bones, and Logan’s own hands reaching down to lift them out of a puddle. Another, contrasting and completely detached, yet somehow equally real, of Virgil wrapping a white bandage around Hann’s ankle and scolding them, while both sat on Logan’s desk. A third, of a shivering redheaded borrower leaning against Logan’s steaming mug of coffee, as snow fell outside.

Logan shook his head sharply, pushing back his chair in alarm. “Stop, stop!”

The stream of false pasts abruptly ceased, and the ones already in his head faded.

“Sorry.”

“What…” Logan hesitated. “What just happened? Who are you?”

“It’s… kind of a long story.”

“I have time,” Logan insisted.

“Okay.” Hann paused for a bit. “I’m not actually a borrower. Well, right now I am, technically, but most of the time I’m not.”

“What are you, then?” Despite the incredibly unnerving experience he’d just had, Logan found himself feeling very curious. What kind of being had the power to do that? Up until recently, borrowers had been the stuff of myths; were other “fantasy” creatures real as well? Fairies, perhaps?

“I’m human.”

Wait. What?

“But more relevently, I’m an Author.”

“An author,” Logan repeated. Somehow the word didn’t quite sound the same when he said it.

Hann nodded. “At the moment, I’m your Author.”

Logan looked down at himself, then back at the borrower— the Author— standing on his desk. “I’m not sure I like the implications of that.”

“That’s… That’s fair.” Hann rubbed the back of their neck with a little chuckle. “Sorry. I promise, I didn’t come here intending to make you nervous.”

They’d succeeded anyway, Logan thought to himself. But, despite all that, he was still extremely curious. “What all does being an author entail? Can you control me, like… like a puppet?”

Hann wiggled a hand in the ‘sort of’ gesture. “Eh. Yes and no.”

That… wasn’t very comforting.

“I can control your environment, and to a certain extent, what happens, but living things are trickier. Mostly, I can put you in a setting, and watch as you navigate it.” Well, that didn’t sound too bad— “And if I don’t think it’s interesting enough, or I wanted it to go a different way, I can rewind time and give you a nudge in a different direction, and try it again.” Nevermind, still frightening.

“So I have free will unless you don’t like what I do,” Logan surmised.

“You could put it that way, yeah.” Hann shrugged. “But you’d be surprised how many times a story goes off the rails, way outside the original plan, and I just watch it go, because whatever new thing that’s happening is more interesting.”

“Hm.”

“Take right now, for example. I didn’t plan for the conversation to go here, but it did. I could rewind it, but it’s interesting, so I’ll probably leave it.”

Logan pursed his lips uncomfortably. He didn’t much like feeling like a mere source of entertainment, he found. “I don’t suppose it matters if I don’t want to be rewound?”

“Usually? No. But, this is a special case. Very meta, and you’re actually aware of me. I have a feeling you’d know if I rolled time back, unlike most fics. So… I’ll only make minor edits. Wording and flow, stuff like that.”

“Thanks,” Logan said. “I think.”

“Though I’ll probably roll it back if we get too angsty, too,” Hann mused. “This is supposed to be a fluff piece.”

Logan wasn’t sure he knew what those words meant. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. That was an unusual occurrence.

“Did you make me?”

“Oh, no! Not at all! This isn’t even an original fanfic, it’s recursive!”

Logan opened his mouth to ask a question. Then he closed it again to try to figure out where to even start.

“Okay, so I’m willing to explain, but it might give you a bit of an existential crisis,” Hann warned. “Or a lot of one.”

Logan considered it. He sighed. “Tell me.”

Hann nodded. “Okay, so the original Logan belongs to a show called ‘Sanders Sides’. In short, it’s about this guy, Thomas Sanders, and he has the ability to imagine the parts of his personality as metaphysical beings in the room with him, and they have discussions about… well, an assortment of topics. Logan represents— primarily— Thomas’s intellect. Logic. He’s my favorite. Following so far?”

Logan nodded. “Mind if I take notes?”

“Go ahead.”

Logan pulled out a notepad and a pen, jotting down what they’d said so far. He’d have to go back and get notes on the whole Author thing too, but one thing at a time. When he’d gotten it down, he looked up again, and Hann continued.

“You are an alternate version of that Logan. This is what we call an ‘AU’ or ‘Alternate Universe’. Instead of being a portion of one man’s personality, you’re your own human.”

“I see,” Logan said, writing that down.

“The rest of the sides got turned into borrowers. That’s Virgil, Dee, the twins, and Patton.”

Logan nodded. Would it be too intrusive on their privacy to ask what his miniature housemates represented in the apparent ‘original universe’? Considering how much they preferred to keep to themselves, he thought it might be. Instead, he asked, “I live in an alternate universe? How did it come to be?”

Hann grinned. “My friend made it, based on the original universe!”

Logan nodded slowly. “Were the differences intentional?”

“Oh yeah, definitely. She’s been going through a long list of gt prompts, writing short stories for each, in various different AUs, and there’s a bunch here. The first one was when you and Virgil met.”

“‘Gee tea’?” Logan questioned, deciding to leave the mention of even more alternate universes for later.

“Giant and tiny,” Hann explained. “Anything with a major size difference, really. Some of ‘em have giants and humans interacting, some have humans and borrowers, or humans and fairies, or tiny merfolk, or whatever.”

“Do those all exist in your universe— the one you’re from, originally?” If so, Logan wasn’t entirely sure whether to be glad or sad he was here instead, where there were only borrowers.

The tiny Author drooped sadly. “No. Unfortunately. Just humans. No giants, no tinies.”

“Oh. My condolences.”

Hann shrugged. “It is what it is. And that’s what fiction is for, anyway.”

Logan didn’t read much fiction, but he nonetheless supposed that rang true. “So… you said earlier that you’re my author. How is that, if your friend was the one to create my universe?”

“Oh, I’m just borrowing you,” Hann said.

“‘Borrowing’ me,” Logan repeated.

“Just for a bit.”

“I think i would have liked to have been asked first,” Logan said, once again feeling uncomfortably like a plaything.

“Sorry.” Hann paused for a moment. “May I borrow you?”

“Am I allowed to say no?”

“Of course you are! I mean, I’d really rather you didn’t, but if you really don’t want me here, I’ll leave. I’ll even delete the whole story if you want.” They paused. “Though that might feel even weirder for you than me just rewriting a scene. I wonder if you’d even remember, though, once I did it?”

Before they could continue too far along that peculiar line of thought, Logan asked, “If I tell you to go, you won’t just back up to before and ‘nudge’ me toward the other answer, will you?”

Hann shook their head. “No, that seems unnecessarily cruel. If you want me to go, I’ll go. No tricks.”

Logan thought about it. The little redhead waited, looking around his desk. Finally, Logan said, “Alright. You may… borrow me a little bit longer.”

“Yay!” Hann cheered, throwing their hands up happily. “Thank you!”

Logan smiled. Terrifyingly powerful or not, they were kinda adorable. “Why did you want to borrow me in the first place, anyway?”

“Oh!” Hann grinned. “You know that thing you do with Virgil, where you hold him and play with him like a living stim toy? I want that.”

“You… you want me to fiddle with you?”

Hann nodded quickly. “Yes, please! I’ve always wanted to be manhandled by a well-meaning and gentle, but extremely curious giant, and then yesterday I read Kiera’s latest updates to your story, and one of them had you playing with Virgil, and another had you playing with the twins, and I just was filled with a soft but intense longing.”

“Well, alright.” Logan set his notes aside, bringing his hands instead over to the waiting borrower. They bounced excitedly on the balls of their feet.

Carefully, Logan wrapped his hand around them. Hann was smaller than Virgil, though not as small as the twins. They stilled, beaming up at him.

“You’re not even a little bit intimidated, are you,” Logan said with a chuckle, brushing his thumb across the top of their head.

“Oh, I am, but only in the good way,” Hann answered. “Like I said, I’ve seen how gentle and considerate you are. I know you won’t hurt me.”

They were right. Logan didn’t answer, just picked them up. He began to poke gently at them, similarly to how he would interact with Virgil. Hann giggled happily and offered no resistance. Logan pinched their tiny limbs between his fingers, rolled them around on his palm, rubbed his thumb against their back and their sides, and draped them across the back of his hand. Just as with Virgil, he found the activity to be quite pleasant. Hann, meanwhile, appeared to be enjoying it just as much, practically melting in his hands.

Finally, Logan stopped, holding the little author in cupped palms.

They lay, utterly relaxed, with their eyes partly closed, a smile on their lips.

“Was that… good?”

Hann nodded. “That was great!” they said, sitting up. “Thanks so much.”

Logan found himself grinning back. “You’re welcome.”

“I guess I probably ought to be getting out of your hair,” Hann said reluctantly, glancing off to the side. “Let you get back to what you were doing before.”

Logan hesitated. “Well,” he said. “I was intending to read. And if you’ve been, er, ‘watching’ me, you know that I enjoy fiddling with Virgil as I read, so…”

Hann perked up again. “Really?”

“As long as you don’t object to me not paying much attention to you,” Logan said.

“That’s fine!” Hann grinned happily up at him. “You’re doing me a favor, anyway. I’ll take whatever I can get.”

Logan smiled, shifted the tiny author to one hand, and with the other, pulled a thick book from his shelf.

#original #my writing #sanders sides #gt #sanders sides gt #my Sanders Sides writing #recursive fic #kieraelieson #a very meta fic #extremely self-indulgent

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reversemoon255 · 4 years

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Gundam Build Divers Re:Rise

So, if you’ve been here a while, you’ll know I’m a big fan of the Build Series. I even like Try, which has actually offended people. No joke. And Re:Rise is no exception, having the best story and characters in the lineup, not to mention some of the more innovative Gunpla. It’s pretty obvious it’s the most beloved of the Build Series by the general public as well as hard-core Gundam fans, and I feel that’s because it leaned more heavily into the Gundam side of things than the Build side, for both its ups and downs.

The Good: The story is very strong, and is able to get away with things that hampered GBF slightly and GBD a lot. It presents it mystical elements forefront and prominently.

In almost every collectibles based series, there is almost always some form of mystical element (a trend made prominent by Yu-Gi-Oh!), and both GBF and GBD lean into this to different degrees. (Actually, one of the reasons I like GBFT is because it’s the only series like this I’ve ever seen that doesn’t have a mystical element.) GBF’s was pretty subtle, being presented early on and only really being used as a motivator for the Chairman and a sad goodbye. GBD leans into it a little harder with Sarah being the main focus of the entire final arc.

GBDR is able to get around this by having the entire focus of the show be about the mystical element, so there’s no conflict between the grounded story and the abnormal additions. Also, it was just, like, really good? And I think part of that is the naivety of the characters. I was able to pick up almost immediately that everything was real, but I read a lot of the YouTube comments after each episode, and a lot of people were convinced it was just a story mission at first, with more and more people catching on as the series progressed. (For me what sealed the deal was Maiya being able to describe Kazami’s character. A supposed NPC being able to nail the personality of a player.) Since they thought it was a game, the stakes seemed low even though we as the audience knew otherwise. And when everything came to light, not only did the stakes immediately skyrocket, but they did so believably. And wanting to help people is always a good motivation.

The animation was very good. It dove at a few points, as is not uncommon, but the overall quality stayed high. There was almost no stock footage apart from the Core Changes. And the number of cameos throughout this season, especially in the last three episodes, were staggering, but were just balanced enough to not overshadow the main cast.

Except for Kyoya’s Cardass Finisher. Like, ok, reference, but it was, like, three minutes long.

All the characters were very good, and I feel part of that was both establishing a detailed past for everyone to help with their motivation and character growth as people, rather than fighters, and not having the main character be the newbie. Reiji, Sekai, and Riku were all new players and had to have plenty of things explained to them, whereas here all of BUILD DiVERS were either experienced fighters or builders, and Freddie, the non-combatant would only require an occasional explanation while he, in turn, explained his world to the players (a very important give-and-take). I also liked how they didn’t need to spell out every detail of Par and Kazami’s pasts. Par never has to explain how he became disabled to the rest of the team, and Kazami never vocalizes about the death of his dad. Sometimes that’s the better way to handle things.

And finally, the Gunpla are FANTASTIC! Look, I know I complain, but there’s a reason I’ve bought 12 Core Gundams, and will probably buy more. Each design in this series is so lovingly crafted. There’s a good balance of series, motif, and gimmick. And Re:Rising Gundam is such a cherry on all of it. Like, I pointed out all those oddities in my Wodom Pod review, but never did I even consider it was part of a combination. And it so encapsulates the themes of coming together this series oozes. I love it.

The Bad: But, of course, nothing is perfect. While I do enjoy the story, what sets the Build Series apart from other Gundams is its levity and light-heartedness, and that’s something that was lacking from this season. It’s not absent. The Space-Crossing Festival, for instance, was a great example of this, but those moments were few and far between. I think Jed dying was the moment I realized I’d have to look at this as a Gundam series and not a Build one. Being afraid for the show’s characters isn’t something I’ve had to worry about with Build. Even when Sarah’s life was on the line at the end of GBD, I knew everything was going to turn out alright. Here, though? Up until the training mission I was worried someone was going to sacrifice themselves. And it’s good that didn’t happen, but that one moment put me on edge for the entire rest of the series.

And it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s something I expect from 00 or Thunderbolt. Not Build.

Already mentioned the animation had its dips. I think I watched the entire show in 720p. Would have preferred 1080. Moving on.

While I don’t have any real issues with the main cast of characters, I do have a few issues with Eve. I’m not the biggest fan of how she retcons a lot of the events of the first season, having this apparent noble sacrifice that completely doesn’t affect the story of GBD at all. And while I don’t mind May being constructed from some of Eve’s data, I wish it was built up at least a bit? I can think of some moments in retrospect where I can suss out that maybe that’s what they were going for, but it still felt very sudden. That could have been handled better.

And while I love this season’s Gunpla, there are simultaneously a lot and not a lot compared to other seasons. Like there’s a lot of releases, but a ton of them are remolds. Twelve Cores, remember? Almost every suit got a remold. The Justice Knight and Infinite Justice, all the Eldoran and non-Eldoran counterpart units, the Valkylander and Ex are the same mold, and all the Core Armors. That’s probably because they used a lot of suits that are more original and are just homages rather than straight remolds, like the Build Strike or 00 Diver, but it’s definitely noticeable.

Where do we go from here: We have an official announcement of a Divers Battlogue, just like with Fighters, and we may get OVAs like the previous seasons did, too, eventually, but I’m talking about beyond that.

After Fighters Battlogue ended, Fighters did, too. We moved on to Build Divers, and from what I can tell it’s been successful, especially this season. My worry is that with the announcement of a Battlogue, we’re also announcing the end of Divers.

Now, I don’t think Build is going away, because it has its own fanbase, and it’s just good from a marketing perspective. Take some old kits, make a few new parts for them, and resell them. What I’m worried is we’re heading to a new subtitle and a new continuity, which would be our FIFTH (Builders, Fighters, Divers, and GBGW). It made sense to end Fighters because they created a seven year time skip to explain how we got to the point of using original Gunpla, they didn’t go over well, and from a writing perspective it put them in a corner. Divers was a good reboot, returning to modified kits, and giving us a protagonist who actually pilots a Gunpla he built himself (three season in). Divers also has a very large mythos at this point, with AIs, and multiple confirmed species of aliens. If you jumped ahead just one more year, you could write a great story where it’s just exploring this inter-species cultural hub that is GBN. That’s what I’d like to see, anyway. If you skipped ahead just a little farther, you could have Asha, Towana, or Hulun return as our Yuma or Par for that season to connect it to the past one. There’s a lot of potential still there. Like, even the ending suggests they might have some more ideas for Eldora yet (whether that will be tackled in a new season, the Battlogue, or an OVA, I don’t know).

You could also return to Build Fighters. Make it take place in that seven-year gap, which would allow you to have Gunpla more on the level of what we saw in GBD (more advanced than GBF, but not at original yet). Or show us the pro circuit at the same time as GBFT and how insane that’s become. (What we see in GBFT is just the Japan’s U-19, and they apparently can’t hold a candle to actual pro players. Can you imagine what Worlds would be like O_O)

There’s just so many new stories they could tell with what already exists. I don’t want them to reboot the series again needlessly.

Also, we’re running out of headliner Gundams. The only obvious choices I don’t think we’ve touched yet are Barbatos, Unicorn, Victory, and Zeta.

As for my hopes for the Battlogue, I’d like to see Maiya and Kazami go on a date, because that would be adorable. I’d like to see Freddie pilot his first Gunpla, because that would be adorable. And I’d like to see the gang teach the village kids how to build Gunpla, because that would be adorable. What can I say? This series got kinda dark; I’d like some cute to balance it out.

Overall, this series was great. Favorite of the Build Series, even if it is a little more Gundam than Build. There’s a lot of potential still left in this universe, so I hope they’ll continue to explore it, rather than reboot the series again.

#Gundam #Gunpla #Gundam Build Divers #Gundam Build Divers Re:Rise #Review

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motivatedtale-blog · 4 years

Text

About Motivatedtale

.:Contents:.

.:Author’s Note:.

.:Summary/Idea:.

.:Characters:.

Motive

Unmotivated

.:Stray Facts and Resources:.

FAQ

Rules

.:Inspiration:.

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.:Author’s Note:.

Hey, so I've noticed this a long time ago but I’m just now confronting it since I got my computer fixed- it seems pretty impossible to reach the “About Motivatedtale” on mobile, even with the literal LINK to the page (I could only sort of access it through some loopholes in a browser- and the link just took me to my Tumblr instead), so I wanted to compile the information that’s in there into a post for any mobile users who may follow this blog. I’ve got more followers here than my art blog-- so even if there’s not much interaction each post, I think there’s at least a few people who might not have access to an about page here. Changes are very likely to be made and things will be added occasionally :)

.:Summary/Idea:.

“Have you ever wondered what happens to creations when a creator gives up?”

Motivatedtale is essentially an abandoned AU with no finished story or a plot. Which, ironically, not having a story is the story itself. It’s a tale about how the lack of motivation (along with other things like self doubt and lack of interest) in a Creator leaves a story unfinished, and with no reason to exist, no story, the AU is crumbling into nothingness, as it is being forgotten by the only one who knows about its existence- the Creator. However, there’s two characters in it that have to deal with that burden of having no ending or reasons to exist. And they’re completely aware of what’s going on.

At least, the first one that was created is aware, because they were made to be that way. They inform the only other character (Frisk/Motive) about all of this when they meet. They’re a Sans of course (which is sort of a self aware joke because a lot of people either start with the Sans of an AU when creating characters, subtly revolve around a Sans of an AU in a story, or the entire story literally and shamelessly revolves around a Sans. This is not an attack on anyone). This Sans goes by Unmotivated, and is quite bitter about existing. These characters have no finished story, no destiny, and no purpose. Being self aware of this can be a great burden on hope and happiness; ignorance is bliss, after all.

What the AU would’ve been if it was “completed” is unsure.

How the story ends is not fully decided or meant to be disclosed (for now), but even if this AU is finished or not, it is already technically complete. It symbolizes a project that is given up on; a project that is abandoned, and what would happen if the characters in these types of projects were conscious about this- if our ideas existed somewhere out there, somewhere where our decisions, intentional and unintentional, have a serious affect.

So, if this AU is abandoned, it’ll be quite ironic.

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.:Characters:.

Motive

Motive is the Frisk of this AU, and one of only two characters that are in this AU. Motive was created after Unmotivated, but the coloring of their design was given up on towards the very end. Their sweater is unfinished because the creator gave up on them due to being overwhelmed with empty and destructive thoughts, but the outline/shape is still there. The sleeve usually is never shaded/effected by light.

Motive is an optimist, and believes that their AU will one day be finished. They have the soul of motivation, which is outwardly visible and tied to the loose hanging strap of their overalls. They don’t have preferences in pronouns (though they/them is usually the default), and calling them by any pronoun is fine (she/he/they/it..it really doesn’t matter, honestly).

Motive acts impulsively a lot of times and does not think of the consequences of their actions…or, they do, but they choose to move forward with their actions anyways. Since optimism is one of their key traits and it’s exaggerated and simplified in their character and logic, it can result in some bad outcomes. The same goes for their impulsitivity. They’re not that serious natured, and act more like a child than a young adult (despite being 18). However, they do make a lot of (sometimes unnerving) jokes that could be considered uncomfortable, but they mean no harm. While Motive is quite intelligent and empathetic, they’re distracted quite easily and might say or do inappropriate things during certain situations.

Since Motive is technically a new character and was not fully developed by their Creator (backstory, powers, etc), their underdevelopment as a character is actually a big part of their development as a character.

(More is to be added later)

Unmotivated

The Sans of the AU, and the first ever character created (which again is poking fun of the idea that people usually start with the Sans of the AU for characters). Unmotivated is bitter and cynical towards his existence and his Creator, and is completely aware of the multiverse and AU Creators. A big fourth wall breaker. He’s apathetic, bored and often paints himself as emotionless and uncaring to hide any hurt/feelings of helplessness. He bottled them away a long time ago. At first, Unmotivated was hopeful about his AU, but he was alone for an unspecified but long amount of time in his AU, and was driven to toxicity and bitterness during that time. He’s seen his universe grow, halt, and then slowly deteriorate- he has seen new ideas come and go, and is helpless to stop the rampant decay of his universe- his home- his story. He’s overall a pretty lonely character.

When or why he got the nickname “Unmotivated” is unclear- but it’s definitely supposed to be a pun. He hates the name but finds it funny and ironic at the same time.

Unmotivated’s soul is held by a string that is woven into his rain coat. He considers this to be poor design choice but doesn’t really do anything to fix it. He often keeps his soul in his pocket for safe keeping. (More is to be added later)

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.:Stray Facts:.

• The AU resets (sort of like an update) each time a new idea is added. This is how Unmotivated is generally aware of Motive when they’re created. • The “Creator” resembles anyone who has abandoned or given up on their projects or ideas. This isn’t meant to put people that do this in a negative light.

•The white of Motive’s sleeve isn’t meant to be shaded since it’s “incomplete.”

FAQ (most are from amino since not many people ask here)

- What was the AU supposed to originally be before it was abandoned?

This is undecided and left up for interpretation. However, based off of the design of the current characters, it can be safely assumed that the AU was supposed to be more lighthearted and cutesy. There are random bits and ideas spread throughout the AU that give glimpses to what it could’ve been.

- Can I draw fanart of these characters?

Of course! I’d be honored to receive fanart and would love to see it! Just please keep things appropriate if you do.

- Is Ink Sans or Core Frisk going to be in the comic?

No.

I’ve gotten asked this several times, and the answer is no. Doing this would completely ruin the theme and point I’m trying to get across with this comic. This story revolves around a Creator and their Creations, and there will be no other characters made by other people.

- Are Motive and Unmotivated shipped together?

NO.

It’s fine as a joke but please realize they aren’t. This isn’t an AU centered around romance and would distract from the goal of the comic if I had that. While I’m not anti-frans in any sense, I still don’t want it in my comic.

- How often do you plan on updating the comic?

Each page is published whenever I finish it nowadays due to stress of a schedule. I post them in bulks of 2-3 on amino and twitter, and whenever I finish the page on deviantart, instagram and here.

- Is the Creator a character?

Yes, and no. The Creator represents not only myself, but any artist that has struggles putting their creations out there due to insecurities or other causes. They’re more symbolic and fluent rather than a structured and identified character. Of course though, if there is any introduction of the Creator, I would have to give them some sort of design- and I do have general ideas of what they’d look like. However, they’re still supposed to represent a broader group of people than just myself.

- What does Unmotivated think about other AUs/Sanses?

Unmotivated has an apathetic mindset when it comes to AUs and other characters like him. He’s incredibly self aware and sees a much bigger picture. He knows characters are just pawns to their creator, and won’t get fazed by any story. Sort of like watching actors in a movie while constantly reminding yourself that they’re just actors. However, he is quite envious of anyone with a complete and happy storyline, since that’s something he lacks but yearns the most. That’s something he wish he had.

Keep in mind Unmotivated and Motive cannot interact or travel outside of their AU, and no one can interact with their AU except the editor/creator.

Rules

• Please do not publicly RP with these characters unless given permission. This might be changed after more of the comic is complete, but I do not want these character’s personalities to be strewn.

• Please do not draw or write NSFW with my characters– I am a minor, and a large part of my audience are also minors.

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.:Inspiration:.

Alright, this part is going to be a lot less formal and more personal. The idea for this AU came from my own self doubt and self destructive attitude as a creator. Doubting my own works and ideas has seriously held me back for a long time, and it STILL holds me back as I’m sure it has for many, MANY other creators like me. Musicians, artists, writers.. Almost all of us have that fear of trying out a new idea or making something you usually wouldn’t. Almost all of us have felt that crushing self doubt when you see someone better than you, and you tell yourself you’ll never be like them, your art will never be that great, you’ll never get that far…so on, so on.

So, while I was trying to come up with an idea for an AU (which I had actually been considering for well over a year), the thoughts crept in.

“no one will like this”

“there’s enough AU’s”

“you’re unoriginal”

“this is a waste of time”

“the fandom is dying”

“you have horrible character designs”

“AU’s are overrated”

“this doesn’t fit your audience”

“people will judge you”

“you never finish anything”

“this is stupid”

“your art isn’t good enough”

“you’re not good enough”

“someone probably already came up with this idea”

“no one cares about your idea”

“no one would bother with your art”

And ironically, all these thoughts gave me this idea.

Even so, these thoughts have still been nagging me every time I even try to work on this, and it’s been taking a lot of courage to take on the heap of anxiety I have over something so harmless. I didn’t join the Undertale fandom for over a year simply because I was afraid of being judged for my interests,, fun fact. Never thought I’d be able to make an AU. I’m still quite nervous posting art of anything that isn’t Mario related for some reason.

Putting all this to side though, I find the concept of what happens to unfinished and/or abandoned stories and projects interesting, especially if there’s an alternate reality that’s actually effected by your decisions. Kinda like you’re a god. I mean, imagine what it would be like if you had a creator and they just gave up on you, and you’re left with no purpose. Seems like it would suck, haha.

So that’s basically my AU, Motivatedtale. If you have any thoughts or questions, I’d love to hear them. Thanks for reading if you did!

#Motivatedtale #undertale au #comic #about page #alternate universe #information #motivatedtale comic #au #au comic #au sans #au frisk #motive #unmotivated

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