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yourmidnightlover · 2 years

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this one time

pairing: steve x mayfield!fem!reader

summary: reader gets mixed up in the upside down drama with her sister (s2 era) and happens to get a good dose of steve harrington, and she vows it’ll only be this one time.

warnings: ohhhh boy, billy being verbally and physically abusive, fighting, season 2 (aka demodogs and whatnot), illuding to an abusive household (duh), reader being independent as hell (like to a fault lmao bc me too sometimes), kinda sad ending (oops?)

a/n: in this fic, steve and nancy never got together in season 2 :) i think that’s the only variation in the fic. i’m ngl i might’ve cried while writing this but that also could’ve just been me being hormonal lol. also my second stranger things fic!! i’m kinda excited and can’t wait to see how this goes!

you didn’t quite know why he would always stare at you. to be frank, it was getting weird.

at lunch, when you would be waiting for max, basically every time you were in his line of sight his eyes were on you.

you even had a few classes with steve. luckily you were able to sit closer to the back. the downside to that is that the seats were all right by steve. whether in front, behind, or beside. it was worth it to not be in the front row, but still. it sucked.

you just kept your head down and let the day pass as fast as it possibly could, hoping that steve would mind his own business. sometimes he did. other times he would try to start a conversation.

“you do the homework?” steve leaned over to ask, too sweet of a tone adorning his voice to tell his true intentions.

“yes, harrington,” you rolled your eyes. “i did the homework. could your brain cells not keep up enough to finish it?”

“sadly, no,” he sighed, whipping out a softer, pitiful voice. “i was hoping maybe yours were able to make up for the disappearance of mine?”

“this is the last time,” you widened your eyes, trying to remain serious to the annoying little boy. “why do you never do it?”

“well, it always gives me an excuse to talk to you,” he had a sly grin on that stupid face.

you knew him and nancy were once a thing, but after will byers was found things changed. steve found that nancy was different after everything and they had both changed too much for them to make sense anymore.

but that didn’t mean that you and him made any sense at all.

“yea, shut it, harrington,” you scoffed as you let him glance at your paper to copy onto his own.

maybe he was drawn to you because you were a bit stand-offish. you knew you were. it’s because of billy. you had to be the protective older sister max needed. you were her biological sister, but you weren’t always so mean, only when billy and his dad came around.

you would be the one to defend max to billy. on occasion, you would have to defend max against billy’s dad. this might’ve earned you a bit of, punishment, as they would call it. others would say it’s abuse.

regardless, it wasn’t always like this. used to, you would play with max all the time. you were the one to teach her to skate. you had taught her the importance of self confidence. you were her older sister. she loved you dearly, and you did her. you still did, as did she.

it was just the dynamic that had changed. now, instead of being the sweet older sister everyone knew you were the rude, protective one. perhaps you just didn’t know how to shut off the mask you put up so often, in the house you would never call a home.

it was only a matter of time before you and max got dragged into the wild world of the upside down. you had brought her to the arcade that day lucas tried to explain everything to her. as per usual, she told you everything.

“maybe he just wants to impress you?” you scoffed, the story sounding unbelievable to yourself as well.

“why like this?” she rested her head against her fist by the window. “it’s just so stupid.”

“as are boys this age, max. they’re idiots that would say anything to impress a girl,” you gave her a pressed smile. “boys are stupid. why do you think i haven’t had one?”

“yea, maybe i should follow in your footsteps,” max added.

you laughed lightly before gently nudging her shoulder, turning up the radio to the latest kate bush song that had come out.

so when lucas told max that he had real proof, you were practically forced to follow along. well, not forced. max had asked you to come, in case anything funky was going on, and you happily said yes.

little did you know you would be met with dustin henderson and your very own king steve harrington. steve had directed you all, telling you what to do. the experience was rather ominous up to this point, so you reluctantly listened, but only to protect your sister in the case that they weren’t lying.

and once everything was boarded up, you went inside of the bus and waited. and waited. and waited.

max finally got tired of the silence when she asked, “so you really fought one of these things before?”

steve’s gaze from you was finally broken as he simply nodded his head, continuing to play with his lighter in attempt to pass the time a bit quicker than it was going.

“and you’re like, totally, 100% sure it wasn’t a bear?” she offered, being the sassy mini you she always was, you bit back a laugh.

that’s when little dustin decided to speak up a bit, “shit,” he huffed. “don’t be an idiot. okay. it wasn’t a bear,” but he wasn’t done there. “why’re you even here if you don’t believe us? just go home.”

“geesh,” max got up, headed towards the ladder. “someone’s cranky. past your bedtime?” she asked as she began ascending the ladder.

you busied yourself by fiddling with some old peeling fabric from one of the seats to hide the laugh in your throat.

“that’s good,” steve spoke, seemingly proud of the toddler who had tried to insult your little sister. “just show her you don’t care.”

“i don’t,” the toddler deadpanned, staring him straight in the eyes. “why’re you winking steve? stop.”

“really?” you chuckled, speaking up about the stupid situation at hand. “show her you don’t care? that’s the advice you gave him?”

“well, yea,” steve nodded, still playing with his little lighter.

“and does that always work with the girls you like?” you leant down, getting closer to steve on the floor.

you could hear how his breath hitched in his throat as he stumbled to find the right words.

“uhh yea, mo-most of the time,” he stopped toying with the lighter, focusing on dustin who was simply pacing back and forth, mumbling some incoherent nonsense that you figured you probably wouldn’t be able to understand even if you could hear him.

“most of the time?” you scoffed. “so you told him to be a dick to my sister on account of ‘most of the time’?”

“i didn’t say to be a dick!” he threw his hands up in defense.

“well he was being one.”

“i never told him to be one!”

“next time make sure he knows that, asshole.”

a loud growl interrupted your argument. your body became stiff as you instinctively curled into the arm that he protectively threw over your shoulders as you made your way to see what the ruckus was outside.

“lucas!” dustin shouted. “what’s goin’ on!” he demanded to know.

“hold on!” lucas replied.

silence fell over the group as you shrugged steve’s arm off of you, forgetting he had held it there. if you had paid attention to it, it felt a scarier without his arm there.

“i’ve got eyes!” lucas finally informed you. “ten o’clock! ten-ten o’clock!”

“there,” steve pointed at the creature outside of the bus, crawling low and slow.

“what’s he doing?” dustin wondered.

“i don’t know.” steve answered once more. “he’s not taking the bait. why’s he not taking the bait?” he asked worriedly.

“maybe he’s not hungry?” dustin tried to guess before a lightbulb went off in steve’s mind.

“maybe he’s sick of cow?” he replied smartly.

“wait-you mean?” you spoke up for once before steve backed away, making eye contact with you before turning.

“steve?” dustin asked. “steve, what’re you doing? steve?” he worried.

steve turned back to dustin and tossed him the lighter, “just get ready.”

“you’re not going out there alone,” you huffed at the brown eyed boy.

“like hell i’m not,” he replied, turning to face you once more. “you need to stay safe.”

“no, the kids need to stay safe,” you argued. “i’m going with you,” you told him as you grabbed a metal pipe and turned toward the door.

steve huffed as he rolled his eyes at you.

“are you gonna open the door or do you need me to go first?” you offered, teasing the boy before he reluctantly opened the door and headed out first.

“back to back, yea?” he whispered, feeling your back against his own.

you slowly walked towards the creature making the noise, feeling the whoosh of wind coming from steve swinging his bat in circles, probably from the nerves. he started whistling, trying to draw the creature out from wherever it was hiding.

“come on, buddy,” he teased with another whistle. “come on, buddy. dinner time. human tastes better than cat, i promise.”

“cat?” you whisper-yelled at him.

“i’ll fill you in later,” he replied.

when you heard the growl once more, somehow clearer, you turned to face it. you had to know what it was. the dog cleared, giving you sight of the monster you’d been told about.

“oh, god,” you raised your elbow, ready to swing in case of any sudden movement made by the thing.

“steve!” lucas shouted. “watch out!”

“little busy here!” steve roared before you turned around, noticing the second monster.

“oh, god,” your breathing picked up.

“three o’clock,” you nudged his shoulder to inform him of the new situation.

when he turned to where you were faced, his own face became filled with worry rather than mild fear. backed the two of you up a bit before the bus door flung open.

“abort! abort!” dustin shouted. “steve! y/n!”

“run!” the kids were screaming.

but every which way you looked, there was a new monster blocking your path. steve ran for the car, sliding across it before whacking one of the creatures, hearing it whimper and thud against the ground. you heard one behind your own back.

“y/n!” max shouted at you, alerting you that there was one behind you.

you swung and turned your body in one motion, the momentum enough to knock its body to the ground with a whine. another one was approaching your left, so you did the same thing with success.

after turning to where you last saw steve, he was running to you, shouting at you to move. you were too slow. a creature had tackled you to the ground, luckily steve had swung his bat before anything had happened, knocking the creature off of your body and to the side before he scooped you up bridal style and carried you into the bus himself, dustin slamming the door shut on the monsters.

they were easily able to break through the metal covering the door, leaving steve to knock the things with his nailed bat as the kids ran to the other side of the bus. you had luckily kept a hold of your metal pipe after being knocked down, your leg had been hurt but it wasn’t the time to worry about that.

dustin began to radio on his headset for anyone who could hear, seemingly with no hope. max had nudged your shoulder, motioning to the sunroof of the bus, the open sunroof of the bus. you pushed her behind you and made your way to where the roof was, not getting too close.

you could hear the stomps of the monsters above your heads before one approached the ladder. all you heard was max’s scream. the monster began to lunge towards you before steve put himself between you and the creature.

“come on you little piece of shit!” he bellowed. “you want some? come on!”

all at once the creatures began to turn away, no longer banging on the bus trying to get inside. steve had looked at you once more, a look of both relief and worry in his face.

you hadn’t even realized that you had latched onto steve’s arm. you didn’t care. you kept it there for a moment longer, hoping he wouldn’t notice or mind. you were scared, you could make an excuse.

this one time.

after a few moments of silence, steve had began to make his way outside, you following right behind with the rest of the kids.

“what happened?” lucas asked, all out of breath as if he had been the one fighting out there.

“i-i don’t know,” max hesitated.

“they scared ‘em off?” dustin mentioned, trying to find some sort of positive.

“no,” steve told them. “no way. there goin’ somewhere.”

when you all decided to take off in the direction of the ominous sound, which happened to thankfully break lucas and dustin’s little argument, steve had noticed after a while that you had been taking a bit longer than the others to keep up. you weren’t too slow, just a bit out of breath. he hung back for a second so he could ask you.

“hey,” steve began quietly as dustin and lucas went ahead. “did you get hurt? when you got tackled?”

“i-i don’t know,” you replied, more truthful than saying no. you just didn’t want to be a burden to the group, but you couldn’t stay behind. “i’ll be fine.”

“y/n,” he sighed. “which leg?” he pointed at them both before you lifted your pant leg, revealing a bruise all the way up your shin, a bit of blood from a cut running halfway down your leg. “that? y/n…” he trailed off.

he automatically put your arm around his shoulder, his arm going to your waist, acting as a crutch so you two could limp along together. you appreciated it, which was odd. you were always in depended. max noticed this too. and you noticed max holding lucas’s hand earlier. she had been talking to him on the roof of the bus prior to the, ‘demodog,’ as you came to find out, experience.

what was it with hawkins boys knocking down your walls? you didn’t like it. but, your leg really fucking hurt, so you could make an excuse.

this one time.

the rest of the night went by fast.

the noise led you to this… hospital? you had to pick up hopper, the police chief, will, mike, and joyce, wills mom. you had also ran into nancy and her boyfriend? jonathan. you weren’t sure if they were official.

when you ran into nancy and jonathan you only felt steve’s hold on you get a little tighter. you would only let yourself embrace it tonight. only tonight. you made your way back to joyce’s house, who you already felt this motherly hold over you. you enjoyed it. it was different.

you weren’t quite sure what you were doing. waiting, you suppose. they had filled you in on everything. the upside down, this girl named el, will’s whole experience and now what he’s going through.

then mike starting saying how bob, the man who had passed while saving the rest of them, had started the av club. how he couldn’t die in vain.

next thing you know they’re talking about the shadow monster and the tunnels that’re connected with the hive mind. how everything, the demodogs, tunnels, mind flayer, and even will are connected.

then the kids are telling you about this mind flayer character from d&d to relate this new creature to something a little more understandable. how this creature wants to conquer us, and become the master race. and the only way to know how to destroy this monster, is through will.

you all worked to make his shed unrecognizable. you covered it in sheets and foil and tons of bright lights. then your part was over. it was yet another waiting game.

while the kids were figuring out the morse code will was signaling, steve ushered you to the bathroom.

“what’re you doing?” you sighed, already exhausted from the night you’ve had.

“cleaning you up,” he informed you as he tapped the countertop, wanting you to hop up. “it doesn’t need to get infected and with those demodogs that did this to you we don’t know what bacteria they carry. so,” he tapped the counter twice more to prove his point, his voice like satin.

you lifted your hurt leg to hop on the other, grasping steve’s shoulder a bit so you could get on the counter easier. his hand went to your waist to help.

“alright, you wanna squeeze my hand when i pour this?” he asked as he lifted a bottle of alcohol to pour on your leg.

you nodded. only for tonight.

“one,” he began counting, only he began pouring on two.

“fuck!” you grasped his shoulder with your free hand, squeezing his hand that was in your grasp. “shit, shit, shit,” you whispered, trying not to distract the decoding process. “ohhh i hate you steve.”

the smell of him was a bit distracting from the pain. it was sweaty, but with undertones of his cedar wood cologne able to peak through. but that little distraction, the little peak of him you were able to focus on, was worth it.

“aww you don’t mean that,” he put on a small smile at your anger. “okay… that’s it. now i’m just gonna put some of this on,” he held up some neosporin from the first aid kit, “and then i’ll bandage you up, yea?”

“yea,” you nodded. “that shit hurt more than it did when i got it,” you motioned to the peroxide.

“sorry,” steve didn’t know what else to say as he finished his handiwork, releasing your hand before tenderly wrapping your leg in an ace bandage. “it had to be done.”

“i know, it’s just…” you took a deep breath. “damn,” you both laughed at that.

“okay,” steve breathed out, “all done now,” he bent down and placed a soft kiss to your knee as if he kissed it all better.

“thanks,” you smiled before he placed his hands back on your waist, carefully guiding you down. you didn’t have much time before hopper came barging into the house, telling the kids to get away from the windows.

you and steve marched out of the bathroom, you still rolling your pant leg down before they brought an unconscious will back into the house. you swiftly picked up your metal pipe as steve did his nailed bat, nancy held a rifle, hopped held his own gun, and you waited. waited for something, anything.

you turned where each noise came from, hoping to catch it before it caught you.

“where are they?”

“what’re they doing?”

then the noises stopped. you all panned the area, trying to get a feel for where they went. then a demodog came flying through the window.

“holy shit.” you said in unison with dustin.

“is it dead?” max wondered.

when hopper shoved its head with his foot, we were assured it had died. but then the lock on the door came undone. it seemed as though you could never catch a break in this town. a girl began walking through the door, converse clad with a nosebleed.

mike stepped forward, clearly having a close relationship with the girl. it was like watching the sweetest of reunions.

you turned to max, “is that-“

“el?” she finished for you

“y-yea,” lucas answered. “it is.”

“i never gave up,” mike said. “i called you every night-every night for-“

“353 days,” el nodded. “i heard,” she stepped closer to him, still not believing he was finally in front of her after almost a year

“why didn’t you let me know you were there?” he seemed hurt.

“because i wouldn’t let her,” hopper spoke up, stepping forward in the group.

part of you felt as though you shouldn’t be seeing this. you were so new to the group, you felt wrong witnessing such a seemingly tender moment.

“the hell is this,” hopper began to question el. “where’ve you been?”

“where have you been?!” she retorted, a bit snappy. you liked her.

they responded with a hug, tears began to prick your eyes a little before mike ruined the moment.

“you’ve been hiding her,” he concluded. “you’ve been hiding her this whole time!” he punctuated with a shove to hoppers back.

“hey,” hopper grasped his wrists. “let’s talk. alone.”

he led mike into a room, away from the group to discuss things with a bit more privacy. in the meantime, lucas and dustin began to say their hellos to the girl.

“we talked about you basically every day,” dustin mentioned, leaving el to stare at him before tapping his teeth.

“teeth.”

“huh?” lucas and dustin wondered.

“you have teeth,” el rephrased, a bit confused as to why he had teeth.

“oh,” dustin remembered. “you like these pearls?” he began to purr? you think that’s what that was. it clearly surprised el.

max began to walk towards the girl, “eleven?” the girl just stared at max. “hey, um, i’m max,” she stuck out her hand, “i’ve heard a lot about you.”

el just walked past her, rejecting not only a handshake but what seemed like a friendship. but, el wandered into joyce’s welcoming arms.

“what was that?” you questioned.

“i-i don’t know?” max wondered herself, not knowing where she had gone wrong with the incredibly short interaction.

and with the return of eleven, it was as though the master key to a house was returned. everything fell into place as she stated that she could close the gate. she could fix everything.

in order to get the mind flayer’s grasp off of will before eleven shut the gate, joyce, jonathan and nancy went to burn the mind flayer out of him.

meanwhile you were still at joyce’s with steve and the kids. you had been helping max and lucas clean up the living room while dustin and steve were, for some reason, putting the creature in the fridge. mike was just pacing. worrying.

“mike, would you just stop already?” lucas spoke up, somehow annoyed by his movement.

“you weren’t in there, okay, lucas,” mike shouted back. “that lab is swarming with hundreds of those dogs.

“demodogs!” dustin spoke from the kitchen.

“the chief will take care of her!” lucas tried to reason.

“like she needs protection,” you added.

“listen, dude, a coach calls a play in a game, bottom line, you execute it,” steve tried to reason. “all right?”

“okay first of all this isn’t some stupid sports game,” mike rebutted. “and second we’re not even in the game. we’re on the bench.”

“right-right,” steve tried to think of a come back. “so my point is…”

“there’s nothing for us to do,” you finished for him.

“that’s not entirely true,” dustin mentioned, clearly up to something. “i mean the demodogs have a hive mind. when they ran away from the bus, they were called away.”

“so if we get their attention,” lucas interjected.

“we draw them away from the lab,” max added.

“away from eleven,” you finished.

“yeah and then we all die,” steve tried to reason.

“well, that’s one point of view,” dustin retorted.

“no, that’s not a pint of view man,” steve said with an attitude. “it’s a fact.”

“i’ve got it!” mike went into another room, pointing to the drawings of the vines. “this is where hop dug the hole. this is where we get to the vines,” he began to move again. “here, right here. this is like a hub. so you’ve got all the tunnels feeding in here. i think if we set this on fire-“

“oh, yea, that’s a no,” steve interjected, a hand on his hips as he pointed to the child. you nudged steve with your arm, pulling him to the side.

“look, i know i don’t know much about this situation and everything,” you started. “but i don’t think they’ll be able to close the gate at all with all of those dogs for eleven to kill. it seemed like killing only one of them drained her a bit. mike said that place had hundreds, steve. it’s not just our lives on the line. it’s everyone’s.”

he wanted to listen to you. he wanted to help. and he wanted you to know that he cared about what you thought. but he promised them that he would keep the kids safe. he couldn’t break his promise.

while you were trying to reason with him, the kids were still plotting on how to distract the dogs. steve ran his hands through his hair before clapping, getting everyone’s attention.

“hey! hey! hey!!” he shouted. “this is not happening.”

“but-“

“no buts!” he scoffed “i promised to keep you shitheads safe and that’s exactly what i plan on doing. we’re staying here. on the bench. and we’re waiting for the starting team to do their job. does everybody understand that?”

“this isn’t even a stupid sports game!” mike reminded him.

“i said does everybody understand that?” steve repeated. “i need a yes.”

you opened your mouth to begin speaking when you heard a familiar engine revving outside of the house. you and max ran to the couch to peer outside and see who was out there.

“shit,” you turned to max. “billy.”

“he’ll kill us if he knows we’re here,” max told lucas.

“just-just stay inside,” steve motioned to you and max. “both of you, please,” the look in his eyes told you he was serious.

you placed max behind your back and nodded to him, knowing that if he saw you would would know max was with you.

you didn’t know or hear anything that was going on outside. you were just pacing around the living room, trying to remain calm. steve could handle this.

then you saw all the kids duck down from the couch.

“what the fuck guys?” you scoffed at them. “max did he see you?!” the door slammed open, billy walking inside.

“well, well, well,” billy scowled. “lucas sinclair. what a surprise. i thought i told you to stay away from him max,” he said as he got closer to your sister, you were both able to feel his breath on your skin.

“and i thought i told you to brush your teeth this morning,” you got between him and the children.

“she knows what happens when she disobeys me,” he chuckled. “i break things.”

he immediately turned towards lucas before you could move him out of the way. billy had your shirt collar in his hands, shoving you towards the wall before he laid a punch on your cheek.

the kids were screaming, begging for him to stop. he wouldn’t listen after throwing two punches, feeling blood trickling down your nose, he held you tightly once more.

“what is it with that fucking mouth of yours huh?” he chuckled. “always such a bitch. i would imagine that your new boyfriend, harrington would like you much more if you would just keep it shut like a good little bitch, huh?”

“you’re the bitch,” you heard steve announce before he laid a fat one on billy’s cheek, shocking his grip off of you.

you nearly fell to the ground, your balance being less than stellar with your leg already hurting. max was there to help you balance, wrapping her arm around your waist.

“looks like you finally got some fire in you after all, huh?” billy began laughing maniacally. “i’ve been waiting to meet this king steve everybody’s been telling me so much about!” he walked closer to steve.

“get out,” steve ordered.

billy swung, steve ducked to miss the shot before landing another one of his own, sending billy across the room. he landed a couple more blows before billy grabbed a plate, smashing it over steve’s head. steve stumbled out of the room, trying to catch his breath while billy followed.

“nobody,” he picked steve up by his collar. “nobody tells me what to do,” he threw him to the ground.

you could sense that he was about to pound on top of steve, so you shoved billy out of the way, reminding him of your presence to shift his focus. maybe steve would be alright if you were able to distract him for long enough.

“look,” billy chuckled. “little princess with the hurt leg wants to save her boyfriend,” he kicked the hurt leg, sending you falling to the ground, but not before grasping one of billy’s legs, taking him with you.

with billy now on the ground, you rolled on top of him, sending a punch to his cheek. you winded your hand back, ready to send another one before he caught your hand, squeezing it so tight you swear your heard some bones pop.

“he’s-“ you tried to speak through the pain, tears running down your face. “he’s not,” you yanked his hair back with your free hand, shocking him enough to retrieve your hand. “he’s not my boyfriend.”

“right,” he smiled with his head back before spinning you two back over, him now on top of you before landing another punch on your cheek. “he never would be, huh?” another punch. “you’re not good enough for anyone in this goddamn town, as terrible as it is. not good enough for anybody anywhere. you’re just a little girl with daddy issues,” he put his face in your own. “trying to feel love even though you know you’ll never deserve it,” he began chuckling, brushing your hair behind your ear. “you’ll always be that pathetic little whore deep down, huh?”

tears were now flowing down your face, embarrassment long forgotten from the pure pain and torture you felt beneath the boy you should’ve trusted. the boy you were supposed to be able to call a brother. as he spat in your face, you realized he had a hold on one of your hands.

he used the free one to land one more blow to your face before steve tackled him off of you. max had immediately come to your aid, but it wasn’t long before billy was back on top of steve. you pointed to steve, then to the shelf that had the sedative.

“use it,” you nodded towards max.

she marched towards the shelf, grabbing the medicine before shoving it in the back of billy’s neck. he quickly got off of steve, turning to face max. you couldn’t hear what was going on, the ringing in your ears a bit too loud. you saw billy hit the floor, smiling with what seemed like laughter before you hobbled up, grabbing steve’s nailed bat before raising it over your shoulder.

“from here on out you will leave max and her friends alone, got it?” you asked.

he just laughed.

you swung the bat right between his legs, underneath his dick before screaming, “say you understand! say it!”

“i understand,” he finally mustered up the courage to speak.

“sorry, what was that,” you wanted him to be louder.

“i understand!”

“good,” you dropped the bat to your side before grabbing the keys from his belt loop. “joy ride, anyone?” you put on as good of a smile as you could while holding the keys up.

you had told max to drive, your leg still absolutely killing you. you sat in the back, steve’s head on your lap as you doctored up his wounds. it was the hydrogen peroxide that made him wake up.

“shh,” you whispered. “i know, i know,” you ran your hands through his hair.

“y/n?” you nodded at his question.

“let me just clean you up a bit, alright?” you finished pouring the peroxide, letting him squeeze your hand to return the favor from earlier before placing a dab of neosporin and a bandage over each cut while the kids were navigating.

you were paying attention to his wounds but he was paying attention to you. how careful you were. how soft your hands felt on his face, how nice they felt in his hair. was his head on your thighs? they were comfy. soft. he could stay like this forever. until he realized…

“oh my god!” he shouted, moving him from his daydream and back into reality.

“relax, she’s driven before,” dustin tried to convince steve it was fine.

“in a parking lot!” mike added.

steve kept chanting, ‘oh my god,’ as max drove, each of the kids trying to calm him down. it was all stressful and probably too loud for his head. there was definitely a concussion, you just weren’t sure how bad it was.

“everyone shut up!” you ordered. “steve, i couldn’t drive. the douchebag hurt my leg even more, i told her she could, she’s really not too bad. now you have got to breath before you put yourself in worse condition than you already are, got it?” you told him, hands placed softly on both sides of his face to ground his attention.

he nodded, taking a deep breath as you animated with him.

“your face,” he reached up to cup your face, you leaned into his touch.

this one time.

“i’m sorry i didn’t stop him sooner…”

“it’s not your fault, steve,” you gave him a small smile. “billy’s just a douche,” you shrugged. “besides, now i can say that i’ve been in a fight.”

you swore he was leaning into you until max nearly missed her left turn, hitting a mailbox and nearly crashing the car. steve’s arms were flailing everywhere until he wrapped one around your shoulder and the other around your waist.

“jesus, max!” you huffed out. “make a liar out of me, why don’t ya?”

a sigh of relief fell upon the entire group as she put the car in park. “i told ya. zoomer,” she added.

“zoomer?” steve asked you, you laughed and placed your hand over his mouth to shut him up for a moment.

you and the kids got everything out of the car, the masks and goggles to protect yourselves. steve was stumbling out of the car, mumbling about how he told you not to go in there, saying that it wasn’t gonna happen.

“look, steve,” you took your metal pipe out of the trunk. “either you stay here and watch the car or something while i make sure they stay safe or you come with us and help me. your decision,” you shoved his backpack in his direction, along with his nailed bat, before hobbling after the kids.

“y/n,” steve called you back. “you’re hurt. your leg. is this really the best decision?”

“it’s the only decision, steve,” you shook your head. “regardless of whether or not you’re going down there, my sister is not going without me. got it, steve?” he nodded. “good.”

steve jumped in the hole before you, able to catch you so you wouldn’t hurt your leg even more with the impact of landing. you quickly took your hands from his shoulders to turn and observe the tunnels.

“yea i’m pretty sure it’s this way,” mike said, his voice slightly muffled by the bandana around his nose and mouth.

“you’re pretty sure or are you certain?” dustin demanded to know.

“im 100 percent sure!” mike rephrased. “just follow me and you’ll know!” mike began to lead the group.

“woah! woah! woah! hey, hey, hey!” steve shouted. “i don’t think so,” he said as he caught up with mike, leaving max to be your crutch beside you.

“what?” mike questioned.

“any of you little dipshits die down here and i get the blame,” steve said. “got it, dipshit?” you rolled your eyes. “here on out, i’m leading the way. come on, let’s go.”

“my god, what is this place?” you looked around. it seemed like a cave that had little extensions.

“alright let’s keep moving!” steve ordered, moving ahead quickly.

“ahh shit!” you heard dustin’s scream “it’s in my mouth! holy shit it’s in my mouth! ahhh!”

you all ran to where he was, you got on the ground next to him, he grasped your arm as he kept trying to spit it out on the ground, coughing before sitting back up.

“i’m okay,” he breathed out.

“seriously?” you shoved him back before steve held out his hand to help you up, letting his hand linger around your waist.

“really funny man,” steve sassed. “nice, very nice.”

this time he let his hand on your waist guide you through the tunnels beside him, albeit a bit worried about something happening to you. you didn’t mind, you felt max’s presence right behind you.

“alright wheeler,” steve announced. “i think we’ve found your hub.”

it was huge. like a big cave with little extensions in every direction. the little particles dancing around made it hard to see, even still with your adjusted eyes.

“drench it,” mike said.

you all began pouring the flammable liquid you had gathered everywhere, making sure to cover as much surface as possible. this thing would burn. and you wanted to make sure of it.

“you guys ready?” you asked, they all nodded. you turned to steve, his nod ensuring that they were ready before you flicked the flame alive, tossing it onto the ground.

immediately the vines began to come to life, screeching from pain and writhing, trying to escape it.

“let’s go,” steve yelled. “let’s go! let’s go! lets go!” he ushered the kids away, you not too far behind him.

when mike tripped, screaming for help, you were able to whack the vine with your metal pipe, sending it screeching back away from his leg, you ordered the others to keep running before a dog came before you.

“dart?”dustin had asked. “is that you buddy?”

“dustin-“

“trust me!” dustin ordered. “hey, it’s me, it’s me. it’s just your friend. it’s dustin,” he took his goggles off to prove it to the creature. “just dustin, all right? you remember me,” he crouched down to the dog’s level. “will you let us pass?”

the dog snarled at him, seemingly telling the child no.

“okay, okay. i’m sorry,” dustin tried to reason. “i’m sorry about the storm cellar. i know it was a pretty douchey thing to do. you hungry?” he reached into his backpack. “yea? i’ve got our favorite. see? nougat,” dustin began to unwrap the candy for the dog to eat, placing on the ground. “look at that. yummy. here, all right,” he backed away from the dog, waving for everyone to pass the creature while he was occupied. “there’s plenty, i’ve got more,” he offered.

you began to ignore his reunion, instead ensuring that max got across safely, your hand on the square of her back as steve led the group at the front. dustin quickly earned his footing ahead of you before you saw the rope.

steve began lifting the kids up the rope as he heard the roaring of the dogs. first max, then lucas, mike, dustin, then the dogs were too close.

“steve?” you looked at him, tears pricking the corners of your eyes.

he grasped your hand, “i’ve got you,” but you opted for wrapping your arms around his torso, his going around your shoulders. you tucked your head into his chest before realizing that they hadn’t attacked you. they were going around.

“eleven,” mike realized.

steve was able to hoist you up, letting the rest of the kids help pull you up before he grasped your hand, you and the kids doing the same for him. once you were all on safe, solid, normal ground, you noticed the headlights of the car getting increasingly bright. eleven was doing her thing. you had helped.

one broken tibia and a month later, hawkins was seemingly ‘normal’ again. you were adorned in a pretty little cast while waiting for max outside of the snow ball dance. you think her and lucas will kiss, she might’ve mentioned wanting to during one of your sleepovers.

you were parked outside of the school, reading the shining for what felt like the 50th time, when a car parked next to your own. you looked across and saw none other than steve harrington in the drivers seat, a dorky grin on his face as he waited for you to wave your hand and motion for him to join you in your car.

“hey,” he opened the door and plopped in. “so, uhhh…”

“yes?” you asked, wanting to know why he had that dopey grin on his face. while it was an obnoxiously cute grin, you still wanted to know what put it there.

“how’s the leg?” he motioned to the one that was bent in your seat, still a bit of grief hit him when he remembers how hurt you had gotten that night.

“y’know,” you shrugged. “it’ll be fine. hurts like hell, though.”

“i’m sorry,” he dropped eye contact with you, opting to look at his hands that were currently cupping his knees.

“for what?” you chuckled. “you didn’t do this.”

“yea but,” he breathed out. “i could’ve. i saw billy when he-he shoved your leg in. you have no idea how-how angry that made me. and how he spoke to you? i just… you are deserving of-“

“hold it, steve,” you put your hand up. “i don’t need you to give me this whole ‘pity speech’ about how i deserve love and how im not broken, okay?” you rolled your eyes. “i know i am and im fine with that. what i don’t need is some guy who thinks he knows me try to tell me that im good enough for him or for anyone else. because frankly, i don’t-i don’t even feel that way, okay? so, please,” you felt tears prick your eyes. “don’t bring that back up. because bill-billy somehow knows my deepest thoughts and fears and i-i don’t want anyone else to even think about them. i just can’t handle it right now.”

“y/n,” he grasped your hand with his own. “it’s okay. it’s okay to not be able to handle something-especially after what you’ve been through,” he brought your hand to his lips. “i care about you. i want you to be able to talk through it, even if it isn’t with me.”

“i can’t,” you shook your head. “i can’t talk to max about this. i don’t want her to see me like this.”

“then she doesn’t have to, okay?” he reached across the console and wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry on his shoulder. “i’m here, it’s okay.”

“it’s just…” you dragged on. “home isn’t good. it’s not even a home. i just try to make sure max is never in the mix when things go down but then i-then,” you choked on a sob before he continued to stroke your back.

he pulled back after a second, “if you and max ever need to just… escape, you know my door is always open,” his eyes searched yours for some sort of confirmation but found a bit of weariness. “my parents are like never home, so you won’t really have to worry about them not wanting you guys around.”

“i wouldn’t want to do that to you,” you shook your head, insistent on the idea that you would be too close to a burden on him.

“do what?” he scoffed with a smile. “rid me of my… i’ll admit, loneliness?”

“steve harrington? the king of hawkins high, lonely?” you rolled your eyes. “yea, i’ll believe it when i see it.”

“then you will come over?” he acknowledged with a shit-eating grin. “see the loneliness, first-hand?”

“maybe, steve,” you sighed. “maybe.”

and maybe you should’ve let yourself hold onto him a little longer. you should’ve let your walls down for him. but you couldn’t. you barely knew him. well, you knew him now. but not outside of trying to save the world. you didn’t know how he was when he was sick. you didn’t know his favorite color.

so for tonight, you let yourself feel. you let yourself weep and break and crumble apart in steve harrington’s arms. chances are he would forget what even happened the next day anyway.

this one time.

tomorrow came. and no sign of steve. then the next, then the next. for some reason you felt disappointed. after everything… no.

you don’t need him. you don’t want him. you are perfect without him. your walls are still intact. you have yourself. that’s all you need.

but max, well, max needed you. sometimes she wouldn’t admit it, but she really did need you. so, you were there.

you drove her to the arcade the fifth day, deciding to stick around and watch her do her thing from inside, cheering her on and handing her more quarters once she ran out.

when you heard the other heathens arrive, you knew who was dropping them off. you opted to not even look out of the glass door. he doesn’t need to know you’ve even thought of his name. maybe you have a bit too much.

“y/n,” steve’s voice rang through your ears. you turned to face him with an obviously forced grin. “sorry i never called, my-“

“oh, doesn’t matter, harrington,” you shrugged. “all is well.”

“i just thought that you maybe wanted to talk since…” he dragged on, not wanting to spill too much with this many ears around.

“look, harrington,” you turned to actually look him in his eyes. “i get that we got a bit close and all because of some life or death situations but you don’t need to pretend to care or be my friend anymore. i just-i need to make sure max is taken care of, and that takes a lot more work than you would think,” you chuckled, trying to break the bridge before your walls became irreplaceable to the brown haired boy before you.

“i was never pretending, y/n,” his eyebrows furrowed at your word-vomit taking a step closer to you while reaching for your hand. “you realize i just want to help, i want to be there for you.”

“i don’t need anyone,” you shook your head, pulling your hand away from his. “i’m fine, harrington. i’ve been fine without someone this far, and i’ll continue to be fine.”

“you deserve to be better than fine, y/n,” he argued, letting your hand fall from his own, as much as he missed its warmth. “and what-what’s happened to ‘steve’? what’s with this ‘harrington’ bullshit again?”

“it’s your name,” you shrugged, avoiding eye contact with the man in front of you. you could feel how close you were to caving in. but you couldn’t. you just… you couldn’t risk it. “i’ll use it how i please.”

“when you decide you want to be more than fine,” he sighed, knowing how stubborn you were. “i’ll always be here. waiting for you.”

you turned around before saying with tears in your eyes, “don’t hold your breath, harrington.”

you felt his hand linger over your shoulder, hesitating to leave his touch before you felt the warmth of his presence retreat. the only sign that told you he was surely gone was the ring of the bell on that glass door and the revving engine of his car.

you wouldn’t have noticed if the glass door had shattered as distracted as you were with the feeling of your own heart doing the same. this wasn’t supposed to hurt. you weren’t supposed to feel anything. but now you felt everything. from the one night, that was supposed to only be one time. so why did you want him all the time?

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x mayfield!reader #max’s older sister #stranger things fic #stranger things #steve harrington fic #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x reader angst

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mutant-enthusiast-08 · 1 year

Text

Well well well, I’ve finally finished the Facts of Life and man it really went out with a whimper didn’t it 😭.

As much as I enjoyed some parts of season 9, I definitely think I’d rather have the finale for Season 8 be the ending of the show since it fit so well. A bonus to that would be not having to see Jo and Rick get married which I did not enjoy.

Going into the show knowing that Jo was going to get married at the end, I already knew disappointment was in store but I thought it’d be better than this! Jo and Rick’s relationship isn’t fleshed out AT ALL and I have no idea why Jo likes this guy, we didn’t even see them get together, they just start dating out of the blue!!! Having Tootie and Jeff get married in that episode is would’ve made much more sense and I think I would’ve really liked that.

I also really didn’t enjoy them femming Jo up so much this season. As a sort of masc presenting person myself, it really grinds my gears when female masculinity is treated as a phase that you’ll eventually grow out of. More than that, I just don’t think it made sense for Jo as a character to start dressing this way all of a sudden. Also, knowing that Jo becomes a cop in the reunion movie makes absolutely no sense when looking at the person she’s become by season 9.

I didn’t have any big problems with Natalie or Tootie’s storylines this season, in fact I really enjoyed them and I think they made it through to the end of the show pretty in tact as characters.

I do wish Blair had been able to consistently keep some of the character development she gained over the years. They have so many instances of her being ignorant and stuck up when she’s really grown more than that by now. I know it’s for comedy but it still makes me a little sad.

Finally, Jo and Blair’s dynamic. The premiere of season 9 had me hopeful but sadly, it didn’t maintain. Oh how I long for the casual intimacy they had in seasons 5 and 6. Those girls were together every second back then!!! They’d enter the store together, hang out together, go to events together, study together, and we get very little of that this season. It’s back to the old pretending like we hate each other shtick, which, I guess I understand, it’s a sitcom and people eat that stuff up, but man, if character continuity mattered more, I think they’d be just as amiable as in their early college days.

All that said and grievances aside, I’m still so glad I found this show. It’s made me super happy over the past few months and I think that happiness will carry on even longer . Though I’m sad to think about what the later seasons could have been, I still have the episodes where it was in its prime to rewatch and that’s good enough for me 😌

P.S if I were in charge, I never would’ve moved to Over Our Heads, Edna’s Edibles was my favorite era of the show

#the facts of life #facts of life #tfol #edna garrett #jo polniaczek #blair warner #natalie green #tootie ramsey #dorothy ramsey #jo x blair #blair x jo #warnerczek #80s tv shows #my thoughts #Charlotte Rae #kim fields #mindy cohn #lisa whelchel #nancy mckeon

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unwinthehart · 2 years

Note

*clearing throat* I’ve never said anything because on twitter is imposible to speak without being accused of something. Well I don’t fucking care anymore, you (not *you*, you=twitter) can call me a shipper, whatever. I think something is off, I’m not saying they had a big fight or that they never ever speak again but everything is weird. And here’s my impopular opinión, I think (believe, feel, call it what you want) that they liked each other, I’m not saying they were in love or that they have a relationship but girl, some bi awakening was happening there. Again, for me. When blanc0 left G and we found out I was shocked cause it was only a week after sanremo but Al3 said in the same interview that he had sex that week and everything went crazy since then. Like, three weeks after that we have the new girl living in his house (I’m not going to say the name of that fascist cause she only wants fame) and now she’s everywhere. But she only was missing when they last sing together, funny thing if you ask me. I kind of knew too that they weren’t going to meet in sicily because she was there. Since then I’ve seen the “lovely” couple fight too many times for my linking. I think Al3 is very smart and he doesn’t like the drama so he is avoiding everything and blanc0 seems to be having a weird time. So yes, maybe I’m crazy but you have to be blind to say everything is fine and nothing happened. I’m sad cause irama and rkomi had their performance tonight and they got their award and I wanted that. So I don’t know if we gonna get a happy ending and everything go back to normal or the brividiera is really over. I’m sorry for rambling here and I’m sorry for the english cause I’m from spain (today without s). You can post this or not I don’t care, I just needed to express myself 💖💖💖💖

I thought about this ask and I decided to post it, because you said it was fine and because I said in the past this blog is a safe place for whoever approaches it politely and I still maintain that. Also because for the love of everything, "shipping" isn't inherently bad. Yes, even real people. Rpf have always existed and I'm so not here for any fandom policing whatsoever. Whoever is irked by that has either not been on the internet long enough, or doesn't know how to properly interact with people. This is also not Twitter, so let's reassure everyone they can send what they fancy my way, providing they're not as*holes about it.

I'm not sure it's required of me to chime in, or if this is just a way for you to "express yourself" like you said. So I'm not adding my own two cents here, because it'd be, after all, just speculation, just like yours, since none of us knows more or better, sadly 😅

We always knew the Brividi Era would come to an end, sooner or later (I mean, still debatable, song's too important not to have an everlasting impact), but I completely feel your disappointment. Especially after seeing Rkomi & Irama duet. I know, I feel it too. I would have loved to have another performance and I still want to believe it's in the cards along the way (*whispers* Sanremo 2023).

I don't know if it'd make you feel better, but Blanco did thank "Ale" (not Mahmood, not Alessandro. Ale) and Mahmood liked his post almost right away last night. And if you want my opinion on this, I don't think there's been any fight or huge disagreement. Sometimes life just happens, and Sanremo/Eurovision sadly got us used to them being together so much for such a long time that whatever comes after can never be enough.

(*anything coming out of RTL is cursed and a lot to unpack everytime. Including the Future Hits event. I have like, 2436547656 gifsets in the making of the same interviews and. Yeah.)

#ask #celiaxcx #long post #man the backstage of the rtl future hits live #still cursing myself for not recording that #it was the weirdest thing ever #also pls if anyone annoys you for politing minding your own fucking business #send them my way #omg #im so ready to throw hands #i forgot to add that just a couple of days ago #Mahmood still said to pls send some kisses to his friend Blanco #before performing Brividi #doesn't sound like someone who's 'preso male'

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hongism · 1 year

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yall know what time it is. ITS BREAKING THE ASKBOX TIME SJJSKALALALKAKSKWLWMNSNDDJKDK

honestly i expect nothing short of a masterpiece the moment i saw the notification. YOU! DO! NOT! DISAPPOINT! EVER! MISS CALY!!!

before getting into the crazier bits of this chapter, i wanna acknowledge how much you’ve grown as a writer during this series 🥹 recently i started re-reading some of the older moc chapters, and not to say that your writing wasn’t great before in any way, but the way you write now is so much more refined and beautiful, and i guess some of that is also attributed to how intense the story line and characters have developed. seriously, i’m so grateful to be able to read something and feel just how much effort and love the author has poured into in. now i can go on and on about praising your talent but i digress for the sake of discussing more… pressing issues that goes on here :)

*SPOILER ALERT FROM THIS PART*

now that jisung, hyunwoo and even hyunjin (sadly) has reached their demise, it finally dawns on me that this really is an end of an era. we spent like the past 1 or 2 maybe even 3 acts going through a gazillion emotional roller coaster rides all caused by jisung, but now is it weird that i’m kinda sad that he’s gone? it’s a perfect ending since jisung will probably never get his redemption even if he lives, but idk, i think it’s kinda depressing how love makes you do crazy shit :/ hyunwoo, on the other hand, BYE YOU ASS LMFAO WELL DESERVED. the only thing that dude has is the fucking audacity until the very last minute.

the action scene was beyond immaculate just as the emotional ones and there’s no doubt about that. im writing this with metaphorical tear streaks down my face and a broken heart after reading the whole chapter. you’ve got a way with words that can make me feel like i’m living and breathing in this fictional world. also, can we talk about this:

“Give me what’s mine first”

“Let her go immediately, you dog, or I’ll put a bullet in your head too.”

WELL GOD DAMN SIR. i’m gonna be fr and say i was SO certain we’re finally gonna get the infamous, long-awaited scene that must not be named between captain and ghost, but that’s on for me for not taking the slow burn warning more seriously lol. BUT there is still hope, i mean our mc would not be our mc if she can resist temptations and mind her own business yk.

"All these pit stops, huh? You sure she's the one trying to save you here, Captain? Because it looks an awful lot like that's what you're trying to do to her instead."

"Nightingale"

“I'm going, I'm going!”

and THIS IS ADORABLE OMG?!/?? i swear this whole part and the next part here is a prophecy that they’re gonna get it.

Yet, what you see before you is a trap, one carefully set by a vulnerable yet volatile man who could easily turn the situation into one that is advantageous to him permanently and you briefly. You imagine he has been in this position before — one where he can take as he pleases without thinking of the consequences of his actions — and where you stand, in a vulnerable spot yourself, you feel that tug to be near someone on equal footing. Wonder persists in your mind as you question where that is how Yunho initially fell into bed with him some time ago, or even further back to the first time Seonghwa was with him.

my girl has got some resolve and dignity alright, but we’ll see how long that lasts hahasksjak. we still probably got around 100 more chapters lol but just so you know, you’re gonna have to expect more than a broken askbox when that happens. everyone here will go so insane we might accidentally report you for emotional damage /hj. this is more than enough rambling but PLEASE I CAN NOT WAIT FOR MORE YOU’RE A LITERAL GODSEND THANK YOU LOVE YOU <3 - 🌊

OMGOMG okay i’ve been trying to answer this ask for like 2-3 weeks now but tumblr kept making it disappear from my inbox i was legit losing my mind?? but god bless today... today it worked... so finally i can respond...

thank you for waiting for me so sorry tumblr was a bitch and didn't let me respond sooner </3 i was legit so sad it kept disappearing bc i wanted to answer SO BAD LSKDFJFLK thank you thank you first off in this past few days i'e received so much lvoe and compliments on my writing, and i've been told many lovely things and i know you sent this ask a while back but man it still means so much to me i'm still so grateful the words hold just as much meaning to me i really truly appreciate them and you!!!

now onto the spoiley bits... you're spot on! this is the end of an arc in its own regard where we've been in this storyline for such a long while by now that it's a bit like wow! that's over! i've been loving seeing the mixed bag of reactions about jisung, truly, the overwhelming majority are upset over his death even if he was a villain in many regards and that is super fascinating to me and frankly that was my goal i was trying to achieve! switching the perspectives of jisung vs hyunwoo, i wanted to play with that concept and i couldn't be happier with the outcome!

hongjoong and mc have such a fun dynamic and push-and-pull to play with too i adore it and i adore seeing everyone react to that as well, especially with recent chapters ofc.. but she's a strong one! she's resisting well! she's still got her resolve and her dignity both buttttt we'll see how much longer that lasts :3

#mists of celeste #moc: spoilers #🌊 anon

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lauvra · 2 years

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I’m in one of those strange states of mind where - as if it were a place and I’m slowly trudging through it while narrating - I have a lot on my mind. It’s rather like standing on the overpass of a highway packed with cars driven by neuronic snarling whatsits speeding on their own missions and as much as I demand some linear formation they deny me the satisfaction. That is to say I have so much to say that I’m likely to ramble, this reading will most likely be futile. I can be so rigid in my routine. I deny my truly ideal day often when the imaginings of what I should want lead me away from a truly ideal day. I am so without ambition, it confounds me that people are productive during their regular days in action toward one set goal or an other. Safety to me requires safety in my body which requires a somewhat rigid schedule I most often fail to follow. I remember sitting on the lounge of somebody nauseated and bored - why do we always have to - and I remembered with shame how rigid I’d become. I still hardly understand how people do things of an evening when the foreshadowing of another day filled with boring obligation looms ahead. If you meet life’s administrative obligations, you rarely have to answer honestly the questions launched daily like how are you going and the less often posed what have you become. Having one day to myself, I don’t prioritise my friends. I basically like to take my melatonin pill and go to bed by 8pm. It’s my day off today. I overheard the conversations of strangers on the street, browsed in Bazaar at brass Japanese vases and the encased bodies of small formaldehyde floating creatures. I thumbed the pages of old publications of classic stories bound in leather speaking through the pressed-on type of a bygone era. I realised; this small action is what I like and what makes a life. Before I can savour a moment the questions arise: should I buy this book? If I were to read this story I’d want it to hold only as it’s presented here. I spot a collection of it’s fellows and wonder am I to take it alone? separating a family of sorts. What if it carries mites? a family of mites? Should I care if all my literature back home is slowly devoured over time as all will be? and why don’t I? Placing it back on the shelf I decided to wander on but not first before glimpsing the reflection again of a girl who does not look like me. The voice in my head says if I can finally let go of being pretty, I might become interesting. Before I left home today I stared for a long time at her. The pores on her lined forehead, the sagging cheeks of an honestly sad person. I tried to leave home with only clean skin but couldn’t forego concealing the tired remainders of life under my eyes. I’d stop there, then imagined the redness in my face if even one person spoke to me and so dutifully scraped the remnants of Dior foundation from the glass bottle. Makeup to me is sadly more often about disappearing. Unlocking my gaze into myself I left Bazaar. One of my other favourite second hand stores often carries books of a fringe enough nature to buy at a fair $3 and carry proudly in arm, a respectable identity. I found a mite-free and lengthy autobiography written by Joan Baez and decided to read in the park nearby to home. As I sat there, I realised I was sitting in a place which felt familiar and therefore safe, yet unsafe because of it’s placement. Why am I here? Skateboards crash and echo in the distance. What would select others think of me being here? What do I want? I knew if I went home I’d place the book down. I wanted to read. I wanted to read in the sun and I wanted a stilled breeze to set my stiff fingers and these non-compliant pages at ease. I want to build a glass wall around myself here. I wanted a garden and the delusion that it was my own for a time with a fence just high enough for the right person to peer over if they wanted to. Recently I made my other social media accounts private, unfollowed many and removed the eyes of many from past lives who periodically peer over and those of strange accounts and otherwise strangers but this act has not saved me from wanting to be seen in some capacity as long as I control the narrative. Am I pretty? At least in a strange way? Am I at least strange enough to find interesting above aestheticism? I hope it is not my life’s work to alleviate the symptoms of this sickness, though it likely is. I want to want a purpose, want to want to be loved, want to want some virtuous ideal of a respectable privacy.

#me #word

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nctsjiho · 2 years

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Birthday Surprise

warnings: none

era: December 18, 2021 (JiHo’s birthday ^^)

❀ Celebrating your birthday is always more meaningful with friends and family, and though JiHo could celebrate with so many people today, Taeyong had a little extra surprise for her

The members carefully listened while their leader’s voice echoed through the venue. Everyone’s eyes seemed to hold the stars, watching thousands of fans move their lightsticks in the air. It was sad that they couldn’t cheer out loud, only applaud, but everyone was thankful nevertheless because the neos were able to perform for their fans again.

JiHo wasn’t quite paying as much attention to Taeyong as the others, rather focused on the birthday banners the fans were holding. Luckily she caught Taeyong’s last sentences in full. “Speaking of making it a special day. JiHo. Isn’t it already a special day today?” The playful smile coming from the now pink haired boy accompanied by Haechan and Mark hollering “birthday girl” made JiHo shake her head in fake disapproval followed by a low chuckle. The whole venue however started applauding while the boys began to sing JiHo a birthday song. Jungwoo and Doyoung had left the stage just a few moments earlier to get JiHo’s cake.

Once the mini celebration was over and JiHo had blown out the single candle on her cake, Taeyong urged her to speak. The girl brought her mic to her lips, glancing over the crowd once, before doing just that.

“Oh~” She started with a deep sigh, realizing that it would be a lot harder to actually speak the words that had been dwelling inside of her head for a whole day now. “This year hasn’t been the easiest, and I can believe many of you feel the same. However, being able to spend my birthday with not only my members but also our fans, is probably more than I deserve.” A saddened smile found its way on JiHo’s features, but it was a genuine smile regardless. “You do deserve it.” Johnny chuckled through his mic, giving JiHo a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder.

“There’s actually something I wanted to say.” Out of all the minutes, hours even, she had stood on stage in front of thousands of people, now more than ever, JiHo felt so small and so looked at.

“A few months ago, when I didn’t know about the tour, or even that I’d be standing next to my members today, I had made some plans for my birthday. Normally right now, I’d be with my family back in France. It would have been the first time in around 7 years that I’d not only see my family, but my friends and the place I grew up in. And even though I was very sad when I heard my plans would have to be pushed back a little, today I’m still glad that I can spend my birthday with my second family. So for that I want to thank the boys, but also you, NCTzens, for keeping me company.”

All of the nine members engulfed JiHo in a hug while the venue filled with more applause. Many fans wanted to scream and tell JiHo everything was okay, and that they too were happy to celebrate the girl’s birthday, but sadly they could only show their emotions by clapping and waving around their banners and lightsticks.

Taeyong was the first to pull away and while everyone felt a bit sorry for JiHo, the leader’s eyes were filled with excitement. “JiHo?” Pulling away from her clingy members, JiHo’s face made an appearance again. “Hmm? What is it?”

The playfulness in Taeyong’s whole being was difficult to miss, yet JiHo didn’t question it. “So… As it is your birthday today. We wanted to do something a little special. Not only did our younger friends come out to watch today,” he said referring to the dreamies and Sungchan and Shotaro who were in the audience, “if you look right~ there. You might see someone you recognise.”

Confusion was the first thing to hit JiHo as she processed what Taeyong had just said, but soon enough she started looking in the direction Taeyong was pointing at. The other members seemed clueless as well, following JiHo’s lead and squinting in the same direction trying to make sense of what - or rather who - they were looking for.

“Wow~ JiHo’s family?” Haechan, who was still clinging to JiHo’s back, whispered to no one in particular. The other 00 liner’s breath hit JiHo’s ear, but she just shook her head. “No way…”

It was only when the cameras pointed at the 4 people sitting close to each other and the image got projected on the big screens that it started to finally hit JiHo. “No way.” She repeated, slapping a hand on her mouth as she continued to shake her head in disbelief. “Hello JiHo’s family!” Taeyong took the lead, the boys soon followed to greet JiHo’s mother, father and grandparents.

They were actually in the room. JiHo was actually looking at the 4 faces of the people she had missed the most and only communicated with through video or voice calls only for the past 6 years - actually 7 at this point. The crowd continued to clap, but JiHo stood pretty much frozen as she looked at the enlarged faces on the big screen. “Hi-”

The second JiHo put the microphone up to her lips to greet her family, a pained sob interrupted the greeting instead. She didn’t comprehend how it happened, but without Haechan holding onto her so tightly, her legs didn’t have the strength to hold her body up anymore, causing her knees to buckle and send her onto the floor.

Tears cascaded down her cheeks as the emotions became too much to handle. JiHo’s usual skill to stay level headed most of the time proved absolutely useless this time around.

Doyoung was the first to crouch down by JiHo’s side, a hand carefully soothed her sobbing figure while he asked if she was okay.

It took a little while before JiHo had calmed down just enough to look up and look back in the direction her family was seated. In the meanwhile Johnny had begun his own ment, also mentioning how it had been a hard couple of years - the last one especially hard - for Jiho.

“They’re here for you, you can go talk to them later.” Doyoung whispered into the girl’s ear, continuing the soothing motions of his hand against her back.

Haechan had gone off stage for a second to bring the girl some tissues to wipe her eyes. When he came back he helped her up with Doyoung’s help and gave her a comforting hug. It wasn’t every day that JiHo became this emotional. Even if lately she had been feeling extra down, this time it was different. This time JiHo was confused, relieved, happy, overwhelmed and maybe even a bit anxious. But she definitely wasn’t sad. And something about the way the lights reflected in her teary eyes and wet cheeks made Haechan feel his own tears brew in his eyes.

It was when all the boys had finished their own little speeches and JiHo sent a broken, teary smile towards her family, waving her hand enthusiastically at the same time, that some of the boys felt stray tears falling down their own cheeks. She called out to each family member before adding an “I missed you so much” in both Korean and French. The people on the receiving end of the comment waving back just as enthusiastically, trying their hardest not to yell out at their daughter or granddaughter.

“I feel like I’m watching one of those ‘soldiers reuniting with their families’ videos.” Mark chuckled, wiping one of his eyes. “Yeah. But even sadder.” Jaehyun added, having the boys agree with him.

Every fiber in JiHo’s being wanted to just run off stage and towards her family. She wanted to finally hug them and hold them close and tell them how much she missed them. She wouldn’t even care if she looked like a little girl crying for her parents, because frankly that’s how she felt - completely justified as well. But they were barely through the first third of the show and still had to show so much towards all the fans that came to watch them.

So burying her urge to abandon everyone and go to her family, JiHo decided to focus on the concert and work even harder to show her best side.

During the songs that they had free reign to walk and stand wherever they wanted, JiHo would go stand as close as possible to her parents and watch them with bright eyes. The same eyes that 13 year old JiHo looked at them with before she went to Korea, is what her mother would tell her after the concert.

Throughout one of the songs, she would do a little dance with her father, something she had taught him over facetime not too long ago. Johnny and Taeyong had spotted her from the side and watched her interact with her father with so much fondness. Eventually the boys got spotted by JiHo and she beckoned to them. Taeyong and Johnny both bowed respectfully at JiHo’s parents and then they joined JiHo as she continued to do her little dance with her dad.

In the 6-7 years the boys knew JiHo, even with her most cheerful and excited moments, the boys had never seen her this happy. Just by looking at the true love and comfort JiHo radiated the moment she saw her family, Taeyong knew that going behind her back and arranging the whole surprise was worth it. Even if he had to beg the company to pay for their flight, accommodation and the concert tickets - despite JiHo’s family saying that they could pay for it. Knowing JiHo would refuse if she had known, saying she could wait until she herself could fly back home, concerned for her grandparents' health and business back at home. Taeyong knew she’d act like everything is fine, postponing her visit to home, but he saw today how happy she became. JiHo needed to see her family.

Ready to walk off stage to prepare for the last part of the concert, JiHo sent her family one last bright smile. “I’ll be back soon! I love you!”

---

Side note: Happy Birthday JiHo <3 Also for the first time I’m trying to change the upload time, might change back to what it was before tho. (it’s literally just 1 hour difference lol)

#jiho.writings #nct 24th member #nct addition #nct imagines #nct female addition #nct female member #nct additional member #nct extra member #nct additions #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

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momowoah · 3 years

Text

Gossip Girl (2021) 1x05 Spoilers

Okay so so so so here are my thoughts

Somehow I didn't recognize Nelly Yuki. Not even when O said her name. Idk why

Kate erasing GG only to start a new era? Idk how to feel about that (kinda hate that she's back as GG but kinda love that GG is back and new)

Also please tell me they're not trying to make Kate Keller and Nick Lott a couple.

Monet betraying JC was unexpected but should've been expected. Kinda sad that they're throwing out (for now) a 10+ years long friendship like that and cutting Monet out. That said, I hope she succeeds and comes back as soon as possible bc this can't be the end of Lunet

Obie and Z are gonna break up real soon probably. I thought they were cute then I disliked them then I thought nothing of them so fine for me

Those girls dressing as Cotillion Blerena and being joined by J as Dan (which sadly confirms he and SvdW are still together) and Z as Chuck (which gave us her saying "I'm Chuck Bass", something I didn't know I needed) weren't even the best of the episode and I love it

Now to the actual best: Audrey Hope

I know many people think she's rude and whatever but she's been raising herself for the past 2+ years (based on the commentaries about Christmas) and taking care of the person who's supposed to take care of her

She was really trying her best to help her mother and it ended up really badly, which is sad

The fact that Aki still acts like a mediator when it comes to her and Kiki + Max FINALLY breaking up with the teacher makes me think the throuple is on again

The group hug... I wasn't able to see whether Z was there (I don't think so) but seeing that Monet wasn't (sad) + Audrey telling Max to join at the end... Best scene in the series so far

Aki trying his best to get Max back + Audrey still caring about him (even though she pretends not to) and letting Aki go after him... :( Good thing he's back

Now, let's insult Rafa Caparros

Who do he thinks he is threatening Aki?? Huh??? You're an adult and you're with his 17yo best friend, he should be the one doing the threatening

Serial predator who lies about his life to get his victims to sympathize with him???? Jail right now. Literally.

The worst part is knowing that Gossip Girl can't post it (since he knows who they are), the students likely won't say anything and even if it does get out Max and possibly Aki will also be punished (like, what?). So, he probably will keep teaching like nothing happened. That school should really be more careful when it comes to teachers.

Anyways that was it have a good day

Also not plot related but they really removed our (Brazil's) privilege of getting the ep 4 hours earlier huh?????

#audrey hope #max wolfe #aki menzies #audrey x max x aki #gossip girl reboot #new gossip girl #gossip girl

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r1ntaros · 3 years

Text

first life

Pairing: Seonghwa x fem!reader

Theme: Soulmate/Reincarnation AU

Word Count: 3.3k

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: different settings and different timelines, multiple deaths mentioned, implied abduction, gunshots

Summary: She waited for him to arrive. Her brightest star, her only wish.

Author's Note: In commemoration of Seonghwa living the 24th year of his first life, happiest birthday to our brightest star! ♡ Also, I really did wrote him as a star in the earlier parts sooo..

Masterlist

1845

She listens to her friends’ story over a cup of tea on a fine Sunday morning with the sun’s rays stinging their skins perfectly. Valentine’s day was just yesterday and her friends decided to call a meet up the next day in order to talk about their own significant others and how loved they felt on the day that is supposedly full of romance.

However, for her, it’s a different story.

She’s already in her adulthood but unlike any other maiden, she has never found anyone who is eligible for dating her. Sure, she had a few shares of her romances or what they call flirting but it never actually works out in the end.

She’s known as the hopeless romantic among all the maidens who have known her. A lot of them were teasing her about it, the males she used to date shoving it into her face that no one will ever love her before leaving her alone with her broken heart when things go wrong.

She sometimes thinks that the problem is with her. Even her parents were reprimanding her about it, asking her when will she finally find the right man, share the same wealth and marry each other. When she says she hasn't found anyone yet, that’s when a fight broke out between them.

It’s tiring, if you’ll ask her yourself. It’s like she’s stuck in a loophole of hell that she could never escape. All she wants is to settle down and be happy with life, but why is everything not going according to what she wants.

Maybe the person meant for her is not yet alive?

Or maybe, he’s still one with the stars?

No one can tell but the universe.

She was cut off with her trail of thoughts when a friend of hers touched her arm and asked, “How about you? Found someone already?”

She softly smiled and shook her head as her friends collectively groaned. One of them asks, “Do the men of our generation really not attend to your needs that you’re having a hard time picking between your suitors? You’re already thirty and if that’s the case, you might’ve just entered the convent!”

She sighed and said, “If I were really not interested in dating then I would’ve done what you said by the time I turned at the ripe age of eighteen.” She slumped back on the chair’s backrest and played with the laces of her dress as she said with a pout, “It’s just that things don’t work out well. At this point, I’ve come to terms that if I die alone then I’m fine with that instead of getting stuck with someone I never loved.”

She hates how her friends gave her a look full of pity but she decided to ignore it instead. But the hug they gave her was one of something comforting, “It’s okay, you know that we’re always here for you right? Even if you decide to grow old alone, you have us.”

True to their words, when she died at the age of sixty, her friends were surrounding her along with their children and grandchildren. Even if she’s known to be their friend and aunt who found no luck in love, a lot of people still adored her as she did nothing but give her love to them.

On the night of her death, she was heard muttering a wish to the stars.

A wish that in her next life, she’ll find the one for her.

1889

‘I heard she’s going to marry the richest bachelor in our town.’

‘Wait, is that true?’

‘I heard it is. Their family is that influential.’

‘Wow, isn’t she too young? She looks like she hasn't reached the peak age of 20!’

‘That’s true though. But you know how influential people can be.’

She feels sick in the stomach. The news had spread so fast. Being the only child of a famous news writer and an influential businessman is hard. Her mother had already taught her the basics of how to be the “perfect” housewife.

If she were to be asked, she hates it to death. She hates how in this era, women are still treated the same and that those who are influential only have the rights to go against the norm. But as she thought about it, with her parents’ money, she’s influential. She can apply to college, finish a degree, and continue her dreams of becoming a doctor.

When she told her father about her plans a few weeks prior, it went down the drain as he said that medicinal field is not something a woman should enter. It pissed her to death, of course, but she really doesn’t have anything to do about it, especially when her father had her life planned ahead of her hence why she found out that she’s marrying someone.

And now that her time is ticking fast, only a month away before her birthday, the same date that is planned to be her wedding day, she doesn’t know what to do. She succumbed into a state filled with anxiety and her mind has nothing but her wanting to escape the situation she’s in.

Deciding that she can no longer bear the fact that people are openly talking about her, she went into the woods, near a cliff bringing only a pen and paper.

She waited until night time, where all the stars and the moon were brightly shining. She remembers how her mother told her that if she has a wish, all she has to do is to scribble it in a paper where the stars can clearly see it.

She silently scribbled her wish in a paper, and when she’s done, she laid it out on the rock where the stars could see it. After doing that, it was silent and peaceful, until she heard two men talking in a whisper-like voice, hence the reason why she can’t hear what they were talking about.

Curiously, she peeked behind the tree, only for her to notice that those were the two unknown men that the public has been warned about.

With panic rising in her body, she tried to hide herself subtly and quietly, only for her to step on a branch.

“Who’s there?” It was a deep voice, approaching where she is. Deciding that there’s no use to being quiet, she decided to run away but failed horribly with her attempt when she was pulled back by a familiar figure, only to see that it’s her betrothed.

“Ah, what a coincidence,” He said with a smile so wicked that it sent shivers to her body, “What’s a pretty little lamb doing here? You’re being too adventurous?”

Too scared to speak and too impatient to wait for a reply, he decided to drag her to the deepest part of the woods with her trying to resist him in any ways possible.

The next day, no one knows where she was, or what happened to her. The woods were also investigated and there, they found the only proof that she was there.

A single paper written with a simple wish:

If not in this life, I hope to find the truest of all love in my next one.

1930

“I am already sick of love,

My very gentle Valentine.”

She quietly closes the poem book she was reading when she heard her niece's soft snores. She smiled at her softly and placed a kiss on her forehead before she made her way out where her brother and his wife were smiling softly at her, “You’re going to be a great mother.” Was what her brother’s wife said making her shake her head.

“Being a great mother is useless if I’m very unfortunate with love.” She said with a sad smile, making her brother wrap her in a warm hug, “You can still be a mother, you can adopt a child.”

“But I want to have my own child, brother.” She sighed and pulled away from the comforting warmth. She looked at her sister-in-law and flashed her a solemn smile, “I’m content with having my niece around.”

Her sister-in-law looked at her with adoration, “Maybe the one for you is not here or not yet here.”

She played with her fingers as she whispered, “I hope so..”

—

“Oopsies, wait! Drop your Christmas wish that will be brought upon the star!” Her aunt said and she smiled brightly as she dropped hers in a bowl of paper where they promised to hang it on the Christmas tree and open it up when the clock strikes twelve. It’s been a tradition in their family, they believe that it’s the reason why wealth and good luck spreads around their family.

Sadly, she won’t be able to open it up with her as she will be on her way overseas to finish her medicine practices. Her parents spent a ton of money on it and she just couldn’t let it go to waste.

With her last Christmas in the city she was born, they had to carry out the other parts of their tradition such as opening the gifts earlier before her service to the airport arrives. She smiled happily as she watched her niece open up her gift from her.

The bright smile that broke out from the little girl’s face was priceless as she rushed towards her aunt and asked, “Auntie, what is this?”

“This, darling,” She said and opened the box where it showed a ton of paper butterflies she folded herself, “Is what I call a butterfly box. I’m giving this to you so you’ll always remember me every time you see this.”

The little girl was so happy and she looked at her aunt and planted a kiss on her cheek, “Thank you, auntie!”

“You’re welcome, my darling.”

A beep came from outside and the sad smile her mother shot her knew it was already time for her to leave.

They bid their farewells and shed a few tears. Before she enters the car, she said, “Please continue your festivities, I have given our little girl what should remind you of me.” She smiled tearily, “I love you, my family. Always remember that I’ll always be here. I may be unfortunate with romance but I want you to be a reminder that I’ve received what I deserved to have.”

And with that, she left her family to fulfill her dreams..

—

It was the early mornings of Christmas and her brother was woken up by harsh banging on the door. He immediately ran towards the door to open it and was surprised to see their well respected inspector.

He had a grim look on his face and he felt his stomach drop, he had a guy feeling that he wouldn’t like the news he had brought in today.

“We received a call earlier this morning about an accident that occurred earlier in the cliffs on the way to the airport. I came to investigate it myself and I am here to sadly report the passing of your sister.”

A shrill cry was heard and he saw his father clutching her mother who’s now crying hysterically. He felt his body go numb as he grabbed the butterfly box that was from her sister. He opened it up and saw a note there.

With shaky hands, he opened the folded paper and there, written:

A butterfly means new beginnings, do not despair for a thousand failures as there will always be a new life awaiting for you.. See you in the after life, our dearest.

1979

“God forgives him who has estranged

Me from you for the whole year–”

“More wounded patients are coming in!”

She harshly closed her book as she rushed through the emergency area where more wounded soldiers were coming in. She wore her stethoscope to check on their heartbeats and checked their other vitals as well. They’re currently in a crucial situation as they’re tending the soldiers who volunteered for the war.

They always have to be alert and fear for their lives as well as they’re not that far from the battlefield. Their location might be quite risky, but their soldiers are doing their very best to defend them.

Most of the females that are working with her have a higher fear factor compared to her. Almost all of them have a family to feed and go home to, while some of them have their lover fighting alongside in the war while others are waiting for them to come home and fulfill their medicinal voluntary works.

Her situation, however, is different from them. She has nothing to lose. No significant other waiting for her and maybe a family to come home to but they really don’t care about her. She voluntarily applied for this job, despite its risks for two purposes.

First one is to serve the people.

And the second one is to maybe find the person who’s meant for her.

She had always loved romance. With her being deprived from the love she deserves, she desperately seeks what it feels like to love someone. She had her fair share of lovers, most of them ending up on a one night stand but nothing really lasts.

Despite nearing the end of her thirties, she never really gave up. But then, her hope is starting to fade away little by little.

That's why she just decided to focus on her first purpose.

It was mid-afternoon when a messenger came in frantically, startling almost everyone who was resting. He announced, “Move your places, we’re starting to lose soldiers!”

One of the soldiers spat out a laugh and said, “That’s impossible, we will never be outnumbered!”

The others, including the medical personnel, agreed with what the soldier had said. The man, however, was not moved by the slightest bit. His eyes met hers, making her uncomfortable as he spoke, “Don’t take this as a joke. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

—

The whole day, there was an unsettling feeling on her stomach but it started to dissipate by the night time. Everyone was preparing to sleep, including her, and so far nothing happened during the whole day. Maybe the man really had gone mad.

Unfortunately, hours after, the man was right.

She was wide awake when she heard screams from the other room and intruders coming in on their safe spaces. Everyone in their room started to panic as well, everyone writing their quick letters to their loved ones and most of them praying as they shed a tear, hoping for a miracle to come.

She felt bad.

She’s the only one who’s not doing anything but wait.

When the door opened harshly, startling everyone, the intruder then spoke, “Surrender yourselves then you’ll be spared.”

No one did what they were told.

Deciding to what she thinks may be stupid but can be heroic, she stood up and spoke, “I’ll surrender myself but in return, you’ll promise they wouldn’t be harmed.”

The intruders eyed her with interest while the others stared at her like she’s gone crazy.

But she made her decision, everyone has someone that they’ll leave behind, she’s the only one who doesn’t.

“Well, well, well. Aren’t you a pretty little one.” The guys who they consider as the leader said with a smirk on his face. He then gestured to the person beside him, “Get her. Don’t harm the others.”

By the time they dragged her outside, when the distance was deemed enough, a round of gunshots was heard from the outside which send everyone to silent tears.

That very night, she made a memorable image to everyone. An icon of heroism, an actual symbolism of sacrificial love, not only to her colleagues but to her country as well.

If she didn’t care and love enough for them despite not showing it thoroughly, that very night, the sacrifice she made, was enough message for them to not waste everything they have around them, especially their loved ones.

Present

Y/n was walking silently through the hallways when she heard a deep voice somewhere in one of the empty rooms. It sounded like it was reciting something then it’s followed by a rapid flipping of pages.

She took her time looking at the rooms one by one when she finally saw him.

He was walking back and forth, forehead creased, as he focused on the text he was reading. He cleared his throat and read another piece,

“My very gentle Valentine

Since for me you were born too soon,

And I for you was born too late.

God forgives him–”

Y/n decided to join him, “Who has estranged

Me from you for the whole year.

I am already sick of love,

My very gentle Valentine.”

The man stared at her, dumbfounded. His wide eyes are full of amazement and admiration and y/n fidgets under his gaze. She decided to break the silence between them, “That piece is by Charles, the Duke of Orleans, right?”

The guy smiled and nodded, “Your whole existence screams a medicine major, how come you know this type of text?”

She couldn’t help but laugh, “It’s my favorite. The oldest valentine still that was written way back 1415, right?” The guy nodded, suddenly perking up in interest, “My parents do not know where I learnt that piece but it captivated me by the first time I read it.” She then rubbed the back of her neck, “Is that a bad thing?”

Her company just laughed and shook his head, “For some strange reasons I feel oddly attracted to you and the fact that you know that text adds to that attraction.”

Y/n just giggled and said, “I may be a medicine major but History has a special place in my heart.” She then smiled and tilted her head, “Have you ever heard of the female nurse from the Cold War who sacrificed herself so her colleagues wouldn’t be harmed and will still spend the next steps of their lives with their loved ones?”

The guy just nodded, “An actual icon and a true proof that women are not to be played around with.”

They both shared a harmonious laugh when they guy spoke again, “Do you also read crime stories from the past?”

“Oh please, those things excites me!”

“Well if that’s the case, do you know the lady who disappeared in the woods and the only evidence of her was a paper where she wishes that in her next life, she hopes to have a truest love of all?”

Y/n was about to answer but she was hit by a sense of familiarity. Most of the things they’ve talked about seemed oddly close to her heart. Maybe some of them were blood related to her? Shaking her thoughts she nodded, “I’ve read that story. It's a cold case, sadly. She deserves justice.”

“And the fact that the note she left is just.. a sad one.”

“Very true, I hope she has found the love she’s been longing for.”

Little did she know that it was her, from her past life, and standing in front of her was the only star she had wished upon.

Granted to be true, this is the start of her story where no one can finally mock her from being a hopeless romantic.

Where she can no longer rely on her friends to provide her the love she needs.

Where she’s no longer forced to be with someone she doesn’t truly love.

Where she no longer has to be jealous and not have anyone to think of before sacrificing herself.

They were enveloped with silence when he suddenly spoke, “Ah, must’ve been rude because I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Seonghwa, by the way.”

She felt her heart soar in happiness just by the fact that he finally gave his name and at the back of her mind, a voice spoke, he’s finally here.

“I’m y/n. It’s nice to meet you, Seonghwa.”

Securing her first love story after failing to do so in her four past lives, her other personas can finally lay in peace and happiness, knowing that this new life of theirs had finally succeeded in what they all longed for..

A love that was made from a wish upon a star.

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stopeatingwhales · 3 years

Text

vinyl searching (pt. 1) x graham coxon

okok i'm so sorry i haven't posted in such a long amount of time, but i'm back! (and hopefully for much longer this time haha). this was requested to me a very long time ago and i fell in love with the entire concept immediately - i'm sorry it took so unbelievably long to post it!! i might make a second part to this as i felt like i haven’t properly put the story to an end so look out for that!

Pairing: 1999 graham coxon x reader

Warnings: nothing!

Word count: 3.421

part two

Requested by anon (I’m so sorry this is so late) x

༉‧₊˚✧

Cutting open my last box of new vinyl, I quickly scanned through the contents, figuring out what genres it had consisted of. I discovered a brimmed box of popular 80s vinyls ready to be organised as I allowed my nimble finger to slowly caress every bump that was conveyed whilst it went through every single record. Working in a record shop was often tiring due to the amount of physical labour you have to commit to doing (it really takes a toll on your back sometimes), but it overall was a magical experience, with a lot of perks: free vinyls every once in a while, the ability to snatch a first copy of a highly anticipated album before it got sold out, and ultimately being able to be surrounded by art constantly. It was a genuine blessing to be able to work in a shop that abides and requires your whole passion, because it can never go to waste. What was beautiful about music was that, regardless of personality, fashion or who you genuinely were, everyone can connect to some form of it, whether it be rock, pop, hip/hop, rap, anything. A simple strum of a guitar or mumble of a lyric can manipulate one’s mind so diligently that you become so enthralled by that rhythm to the point it consumes and dictates your entire outlook on existentialism and surroundings of life. You are free to interpret what you like from either lyrics, melodies or even music videos; music is there for one form a bonding with it, not to be told specifically what this or that means, otherwise it loses its enchanting wizardry. Unsurprisingly, you are never able to free yourself from the affiliation that you receive from music, as it is infinite, absolute, limitless without end. Every day, every hour, every minute, there is either a small group, or just one person, attempting to create melodies and cadences that can resonate with people for the rest of their lives - and once they’ve cracked that specific coding, that in which takes overwhelming amounts of dedication, you have created something that is unforgettable to maybe a nation, or a couple, or just one single person. Regardless of the amount, with such ability, you carry the ultimate power that no grade, mark or report card, can ever prove to show.

Exhaling, I began to stock up the few crates that were beginning to gain empty space in between the few vinyls that embraced them. Attempting to organise them as quickly as I could, I hummed along to the soft music that was escaping out of the radio. Usually, during the day, there wouldn’t be much activity in the store, so having to care for the place by myself wasn’t something out of the ordinary. The shop tended to be more of a second home to me; it never became excessively stressful, and being able to conversate with customers about opinions on specific albums or ‘which album by this or that artist is their best?’ was always an enjoyable part of the day as it simply felt as if it was a random conversation instigated in a bar. Almost as if you’re discoursing with a long lost friend; you gain this sort of connection between specific albums that both mean something to you, and despite the fact that it could mean completely opposing ideas, you were both able to share that connection the music was able to provoke. The shop was moderately small, with 6 rows of 5 crates (two on either side of the wall) aligned neatly, three quarters of a metre separating each in order to allow those to walk around. Having the space quite compact yet overflowing with all sorts of music was what made the space so enthralling. You could have your favourite album of all time sitting there, patiently lingering for your grasp and attraction to seep in, and eventually your purchase - all you seemingly had to do was rummage for it. That in specific is what makes record searching so entertaining, simply scanning through crates of records until you find something that appeals to you. And although you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, if a band has put enough effort in their covers, it would appeal to people more, and therefore allow more sales to seep through. Situated on the end of a high street which had countless amounts of civilians walking into multiple stores each day, only a few customers had come in every so often as it only sold vinyls, and CDs were becoming more of an attraction these days. It didn’t bother me all that much - I definitely preferred having only a few customers in and out every couple of hours in comparison to groups of screaming teenagers begging for the chance that I might have the Californication vinyl by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

Once I had completed distributing the vinyls to their designated boxes, I put the large - now empty - cardboard box behind the counter to place in the rubbish after my shift was over. As if on cue, I was met with the light ringing sounds that escaped from the bell at the top of the clear glass door, indicating that someone had arrived in the shop. Swiftly turning my head to figure out who it was, I was met with the sight of Graham Coxon, a usual customer, and an amazing lead guitarist in one of the most known bands in Britain as of this moment due to their latest album titled 13, Blur. News had surfaced that the band were having troubles between each other, and it became apparent that Graham hadn’t played on the album that much. He looked a little scruffy, his short hair untidy but that didn’t make him look horrible, it suited him very much. There were small dark circles forming on his eyes, exposing ideations that he may not have slept, or been able to sleep, which played on my heart strings a little. Although he was a heart-throb of many young girls over the coming years, especially during the height of the Britpop era, he had the demeanor completely contrasting against those projected to the nation by his other bandmates. Graham was quiet, reticent, composed, and it was obvious that the entire Britpop era didn’t work to well for him - being put up against Oasis to fight for the supposed ‘king’ of a genre proved its mental strains on him, to the point he had began drinking to escape his struggles. Me and Graham had become quite good friends over the months that he had been visiting the store, so a shocked face and beg for an autograph was something that by no means would be happening in this given moment. I always felt that because of Graham’s restrictive attitude, it caused him to be quite secluded from maintaining a lot of friendships - although that may just be an assumption. “You alright?” I asked sweetly, putting on a soft smile as I made my way over to the counter.

“Yeah, fine thanks. You?” He replied, exchanging the same smile which caused my heart to patter in an unsteady rhythm as he paced over to one of the crates, beginning his search for something new. Over time as mine and Graham’s friendship had bloomed, I felt myself forming a sort of tenderness for him. The way he stared at the ground whilst speaking to someone; the way he ruffled through his dark coloured hair ever so often; the way he bit his lip when conflicted against what album he should buy, were all things that I had taken into note after I had caught my eyes staring at him repeatedly, every single time he had entered the shop. And of course, he was immensely good looking, which only added to the long list of things that made me so captivated by his presence. Sometimes he would meet my eyes, to which I would instantly look away, hot flushes forming on both my cheeks over the sudden embarrassment I would receive from being caught admiring someone. Then again, would you not continue to stare at someone who carried an undeniable amount of beauty, that they were so oblivious to understanding that they had?

“I’m alright, we’ve got a couple new 80s records in the crate over there if you’re interested.” I said, exiting the counter as my finger pointed towards the freshly updated crate. Whenever Graham had come into the shop, he tended to spend a good chunk of his time in here, which made me almost addicted to his presence there constantly. We would talk about a lot of things, bridging from best albums of specific decades, to what our favorite candy was. It was a joyful experience, talking to someone that you would have seemingly looked up to for such a long period of time, watching them grow musically, but also physically. In ‘91, all the boys from Blur had charmed themselves with tattered bowl-cuts, which indirectly emphasised their innocent-yet-psychedelic look. Now, his hair was in a much different state, almost completely short yet there was still a small chunk of hair covering his forehead. I much preferred this look of his, though. He looked mature, and pairing with his personality that I have come to be somewhat close with, it boosted his attractiveness. Whenever he left the shop, I would be accompanied with such boredom and sadness right afterwards. I seemingly wanted him here, all the time, adding to the fondness that I had formed for him.

Shifting his gaze to interlock eyes with mine, I felt my heart begin to form into the same unsteady pattern it composed when he had reciprocated my smile. “I’ve pretty much listened to everything that had appealed to me from that decade, it was when I was growing up you know.” He chuckled, which caused my cheeks to heat up a little at the sound of his lovely laugh that I sadly didn’t hear so often than I would’ve liked.

“Well, what have you been coming in here to search for then?” I questioned, slowly making my way to stand next to him as I analysed his actions, his index finger grazing over each album name, mirroring how I was earlier when scanning through the vinyls I needed to unpack. I was able to gain a whiff of his aroma standing near him - he smelled like cigarettes and cologne, a combination that when mixed would sound quite disgusting, but they somehow complimented each other. I attempted to edge my body closer to his, to take a greater look at what exactly he was doing, without it coming across as suggestive. I would have no courage to do something that evocative, anyways.

I allowed my arm to rest on the other crates as my hand held my face. I felt Graham’s stare switch from the vinyls to quickly take a look at me, noticing my new positioning. A very short silence was shared between the pair of us, almost as if Graham was trying to find the right words to say, whilst the music from the radio had continued on playing. “Not too sure, just want to find something to listen to,” he began, slowly trailing off his sentence as he pulled a record out and examined its cover. “I’ve worn out all of my records at this point so I’m practically desperate for something else.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right place!” I grinned, making eye contact with him for a short second, before switching to look at the album he was looking at. He was holding up Pavement’s 1997 album, Brighten the Corners. The cover was quite colourful and artsy, almost as if it had come straight out of a cartoon. “Play that on the record player, see if you like it.”

Moving over to the record player that was situated by the cashier, he took the record out of its sleeve, placing it on the turntable as carefully as possible. I turned my body around to watch him place the stylus on the grooves of the record, my body fixated in place. Every so often I would glance at the walls of the shop, which were decorated messily with band posters and tour-dates of multiple bands that you were able to purchase in-store. Although it was untidy, it added to the sensation of music; you don’t need to be the smartest, the most organised, the most put-together person in order to make an amazing album. All you could have is three chords that you are unaware of the names, and you’ve got a song. The Sex Pistols done it, and the message they portrayed was that no matter who you are, you can make music. It’s universal. Sometimes my gaze shifted to look through the window that portrayed the cars passing down the road, with the occasional person walking past. The comparison of outside, where it professedly looked very dull and unhappy, and the liveliness of such a small shop, is what proves the power of music. Life is tedious without some colour in it. Regardless of anything though, my eyes would always trail back to Graham, whose back was resting on the counter where the cashier was, intently listening to the music draining from the turntable. The sweet sounds of pop songs that were once splashing out of the radio were now inaudible; the record player emitted music that was much louder, so it was now the only thing you could hear inside the closed space. By the look of Graham’s expression it seemed that his desperation to listen to something new was much needed than I had come to expect; it was almost as if he depended on the new music to soothe him away from whatever thoughts, or distressing moods that were battling his mind.

Once the song had ended, I decided to ask for his opinion on it. “What do you think?”

I watched him intently as his eyes fluttered back open, examining his facial features slightly. Our eyes had met, and they stayed fixed in place as I began admiring his honey-like orbs. “It was good, might as well get it to hear the rest of the album.” He answered, sighing slightly at the end of his sentence. It was quite obvious, to me, that he had been going through something that he wasn’t able to quite mention or bring up to anyone - especially me, as I am only just a worker he knew quite well inside a record shop. It enthralled me slightly, how mysterious he was, although he was completely projected to the limelight of Top Of The Pops and many interviews countless amounts of times over the years. The thought of asking him how he was always played in my mind; his reaction however, frightened me to the point of me avoiding the topic. I didn’t want to come across as patronising, I simply cared for him, for someone I didn’t even know all that well, too much.

Graham placed the vinyl back into its sleeve gently, and then made his way to where he previously stood - next to me. Although our bodies weren’t touching, I felt as if my skin was entering the gates of hell due to the amount of heat that had been emitting from my skin. He began looking through the same vinyl crate that he did before, whilst my eyes inspected his hands, allowing my thoughts to randomly drift on the feeling of his hand in mine. How soft his palm may feel, how warm it would be - like a hug from a loved one when you needed it most, their touch, caressing, having so much impact that it completely changes your entire mood for a short period of time. How they could perfectly merge together, his and mine. Or not, though either way it would release a sensation of my teenage-girl like self, squealing inside over the fact that a boy that I've seemingly fallen for is in grasp of my palm. I doubt that he was feeling the same things that I was, but in moments so silent but loud, exactly like this one, it was all I could muster a thought about. “You have lovely eyes.”

I noticed Graham pause in his movements once those accidental words slipped off my mouth. Mentally cursing myself, my gaze was fixed on him. The air was a little tense, the pit in my stomach completely empty from my unneeded slip-up of words. “Thank you…” He replied, shifting his gaze over to look at me. He seemed taken aback to my sudden compliment, which made me feel a little embarrassed, causing my cheeks to heat up slightly. “Yours are lovely too.”

My heart fluttered slightly towards the compliment he passed back to me, my lip sinking into my teeth in anticipation towards where the conversation was headed. Graham’s awkward self carried on searching through vinyls, and began walking over to different crates in search for something else. I moved to position myself behind the till, where my gaze followed him as he preoccupied himself in the cover art of multiple vinyls he had taken out, admiring them or looking perplexed by them, then putting them back into their original place if they weren’t appealing to him. I began humming along to the new song that began playing on the radio, as I played with my fingers, deciding on forwarding the conversation to something else. “What are you up to this week?”

“Nothing much… I’m probably going to stay at home. There’s not much to do these days.” He answered, his eyes glued onto the vinyls he had now found. My heart sank after those words left his mouth, almost in pity for him - he didn’t seem like he was fully okay, then again no one is, but it came across as if he had been struggling quite a bit mentally and that he needed someone to be there for him, yet he didn’t know exactly how to ask for it, or maybe he felt cowardly to ask. He began to walk over to the cashier, instigating the fact that he had found the records he’s decided to buy - filling my stomach up in an unusual mix of sadness and anticipation. I wanted him to be here, all the time.

“So I assume you’re not doing anything tonight?” I questioned, taking the vinyls from his hand in order to scan them and place in a bag. I avoided his stare whilst asking, though I could feel the burn of his eyes intently staring at every move I made.

“Yeah, the most I’m going to do is probably listen to these vinyls at home.”

With the little amount of courage I had spared inside, I decided to take a big leap of my conscience and ask him a question he’s undoubtedly been asked so many times before. Lifting my gaze to connect eyes with him after I had finished neatly placing everything into a plastic bag, I handed the vinyls to him. “Do you want to go out tonight?”

“I mean I’d like to go out.” He responded, completely oblivious to what I was egging towards, which only bubbled the apprehension inside me even more. I began to second guess the idea of me asking him out to do something together.

“Graham.” I sternly responded, a hint of annoyance laced between my voice when I spoke his name.

“What?”

Sighing to myself, I realised that his oblivion wasn’t on purpose, which brought the same feeling of a sinking heart in my body. I came to realise that Graham had been so isolated, so deserted from society, that he was completely blind towards someone taking an interest in him. Inhaling sharply, I asked, with my sweetest smile. “Would you like to go out with me tonight?”

Graham’s expression had completely changed from his delirium to shocked. His eyes widened, a reddish tint forming on his cheeks as his lip sank into his bottom teeth. A couple seconds were shared between us staring closely at each other's eyes, as I tried to decipher what was going through his mind. “I- Uh- Yes, sure.”

The little stutter that rolled off his tongue warmed my heart as the beam on my face began to widen. I noticed a small smile starting to curve at the bottom of his lip. “That’ll be fifty pounds, please.”

#graham coxon #graham coxon x reader #my writing #blur #blur band #90s #nineties #britpop #band imagines #fluff #fanfic

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yodawgiherd · 3 years

Text

End of an Era

It was fun while it lasted guys :)

>>>Read on AO3<<<

And one night, without any warning, the last piece of the puzzle came. The dream told her everything, ran over the entirety of her life, and when the old and wrinkled soldier Mikasa closed her eyes for the last time, she woke up with unshed tears brimming in the corners.

Next to her, the devil she decapitated slept peacefully, with no marks or scars under his eyes. She didn’t want to wake him yet, as there was another person Mikasa needed to talk to right now, so getting out of the bed carefully she located her phone.

“M-Mikasa?”, a yawn, “It’s four in the morning, why are you calling me?”

“I’m sorry Armin, I have to ask you something.”, Mikasa whispered, keeping her voice low not to wake Eren, “please…”

“Sure, just…” another yawn, this time even longer, “Give me a second so I can collect my brain from the dreamland.”

Mikasa could hear the phone being put down and then the rustling of bedding on the other side as Armin was most likely stretching and fully waking up. She waited patiently until he picked the device up again, speaking in a much clearer voice.

“Ok, I guess I’m functional now. What’s up?”

“In the book you are writing, does the main pairing gets a happy ending? Do they get together?”

“I… Uh… Is that why you woke me?”

“Armin, please. It’s important to me.”

In truth, the blond had no idea why Mikasa was suddenly so interested in the ending of his story. Sure, she read it during development and said that it was good, but there’s a difference between that and calling at four AM to grill him about the ending she didn’t get to see yet because Armin finished it about a week ago. Then again, her voice was completely serious and while Mikasa did like some fun pranks from time to time, this didn’t sound like one at all. So, following her wish, Armin gave her an honest answer.

“No, they don’t. The girl is forced to kill her love interest to save the world from him, but it's sort of bittersweet because their friends get to live a happy life after.”

There was a gasp on the other side as if he confirmed some of Mikasa’s suspicions.

“Why?”

“Well, people like angst, and giving everyone a happy ending is a bit of a cliché, no? I mean…”

“Why her though, wasn’t she the heroine?”

“Yes, but she can move on in time you know, forget about him and whatnot.”

There was a bit of silence on the other side before Mikasa spoke again, this time in a small and sad voice.

“Could you change it? Please, for me.”

“How?”

“Just make her happy…”

Running a hand through his sleep-tussled hair Armin puffed out air, turning the possibilities in his head. It wouldn’t be that hard to make Mikasa’s wish come true. He had a lot of supernatural going on in his book, monsters, and gods, a simple resurrection wouldn’t break the story. Plus it was rare to hear Mikasa beg like this, she was usually the “cool and stoic” type, and it tugged at Armin’s heart.

Hell, why not.

“All right, I’ll do it somehow.”

“You will?!”

“Yeah, but you’ll owe me one.”

There was happy and relieved laughter on the other side.

“Of course, I’ll do anything Ar, thank you so much!”

With a click, the call ended and Mikasa let out a long breath, rubbing the unshed tears from her eyes. It would seem that Armin wasn’t writing a story, more like remembering it, but unlike the one that happened this one would get a different ending.

Mikasa told Eren everything over breakfast, hugging a warm cup of coffee with both hands. He didn’t say anything while she spoke, just listened, his green eyes taking all of her in, both words and gestures. Only when she finished did he let out a long breath, one that felt like he was holding in for an eternity.

“This is a lot to take in.”, he said, “Especially at once.”

“I know…, you don’t have to believe me but…”

“I believe you. Every word.”

“Just like that?”

A firm nod.

“You believe it, and I see no reason why I should not. Past lives and other-universe memories can exist, it's not like the entire human psyche has been mapped.”

He looked away for a second.

“The Eren you described, he is so different than me, yet so terrifyingly similar in some aspects. I can sit here and say that I would never cause the apocalypse but in his place…? I just can’t know for sure.”

“I guess we are lucky that we don’t have to find out.”, Mikasa offered, “This life is so much better than whatever they went through...”

“For sure.”

“And that’s not all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… I think I married someone… Jean maybe? Had kids with him too.”

“Oh my god.”, Eren threw an arm over his face dramatically, “Out of all people, why him?”

“I… I don’t know if it was him but….”

“Please Miki, I get that I died, and you wanted to move on, but didn’t your past life have any taste ?”

“Hey! Jean is nice.”

He peeked at her from under his arm.

“Nice huh?”

“Yea, nice. You know what, if you die I’m going to marry him here too.”

The fingers that were till now peacefully resting on her hip curved and dug into her flesh, a dangerous flash in the emerald that stared at her.

“You’re just trying to rile me, is that it?”

She fought the grin, not wanting it to reveal the joke.

“Maybe…”

However, Eren’s grip weakened as his face grew distant, the classic “philosophical” look entering his features.

“Would that be fair to him though? Jean is… okay I guess, and you treating him like an afterthought, a second choice? Not nice.”

Mikasa’s smile faltered when she realized that, and Eren was not even done with his speech.

“Then again, if I’ll be dead then I guess I have no agenda in telling you what to do. Plus I think I’d be happier if you moved on and had a family instead of mourning me forever. You are too young for that.”

These words hit way too close to Mikasa’s dream, and she could feel the sadness rising in the chest again. To battle it, she took hold of Eren’s chin and tugged it down until their lips were touching.

“Hey, not more talk about death, okay?”, she ordered, “I had enough of that while sleeping.”

“Yes ma’am.”

When she kissed him, Mikasa’s sadness melted away again, chased away by Eren’s warmth against her. Maybe her other self had to settle for something else, but not her. She was here and she had the love of her life right in her arms, in her bed, and she couldn’t be happier about it.

Eren mulled the facts over for a time, putting them together in his head. It was a nice day outside, and while he did all the math Mikasa simply watched him with a faint smile on her lips. It was almost noon when he came to her with a new question.

“So let me get this straight – I didn’t achieve anything In the end? My island was still nuked and the monsters…”

“Titans.”, Mikasa corrected him.

“Right, titans. Those are still around? Man, I guess I was turned into a clown at the end.”

She didn’t know how to disagree with any of those points.

“And the point of it all was nothing? That no matter how hard you struggle to save something you hold dear it will end up destroyed anyway?”

“It does sound hopeless when you put it like that.”

He snorted.

“Guess I was a certified clown then – oh well, now you see what zero pussy does to a motherfuc…”

“No, no, oh my god.”, Mikasa interrupted him, “Why do you keep making fun of it, I swear you are such a kid and…”

“W-What?”, Eren had trouble speaking because of the laughter, “It’s true! I died for nothing in your dream, I was a joke.”

“No… It wasn’t like that.”

“Take it as you will, but all my nightmares became reality and…”

Eren tapped the table a few times, most likely trying to wrap his head around it all.

“…you married Jean.”

“Well… yea, that was a bit weird.”

“Was it? I mean, the guy had a crush on you.”

She blinked at him.

“It was just a tiny one if there even was one at all.”

“Oh c’mon Miki,”, Eren’s grin was wide, “You couldn’t be that dense.”

“I-I mean…”

Jean? A crush? It reminded her of that night, not that long ago when she found out that most if not all of her female friends would like to have some sort of intimate experiments with her.

“Doesn’t matter.”, she blurted, “He’s a good friend, and I like him a lot, but not romantically!”

“He will be heartbroken…”

“He will?”

“Nah,”, Eren chuckled, “Jean got over it, he and Hitch are happy together, as far as I know.”

“That’s good, a crush is hardly a good base for a real-life relationship.”

“Then I guess we can be happy that you guys married in a dream only.”

“Indeed.”, she reached over the table to gently touch his face, “Here I have you.”

Eren mirrored her gesture, letting his thumb stroke the scar on Mikasa’s cheek.

“And I have you.”

“Forever.”

“Sadly.”

“What was that?”

“Oh nothing baby…”, a devilish grin, “Yes, forever.”

With her dreams done and finished it was time to return to civilization, to leave the cabin life behind. Eren told her that he got this, very courteously, most likely still worried about her mental state.

“Just take it easy,”, he said, kissing the top of her head, “I’ll pack.”

He did as he said, fighting with the baggage to the best of his ability. Mikasa was left to wander around aimlessly, and for whatever reason her steps took her to the big tree sitting there, overlooking a vast plain of grass. Taking a deep breath of the fresh air she leaned on the tree, but then her eyes caught sight of something that almost made her jump out of her skin.

There was a ghost sitting there, a ghost of her, dressed in a simple skirt and shirt, the scarf still around her neck. The apparition was about the same age Mikasa was, maybe a bit younger, but they looked almost the same. Her hair wasn’t short, it was long and pulled into a ponytail and there was no red highlight decorating it. The ghost looked up, her eyes meeting Mikasa’s, and a faint smile crossed her lips.

It was her perfect copy, down to the scar on the cheek - albeit the ghost’s was even more faded than hers, long years washing over it. She must have gotten her cut as a teenager. And there was also something about the eyes – it would be a lie to say that Mikasa had an easy life, but what she saw in the ghost’s eyes was something different altogether. The sitting girl saw hell and more, and it showed in her face.

“You are me.”, Mikasa finally pushed out.

The ghost looked at her curiously, tilting her head to the side.

“You… you can’t speak, can you?”

The ghost shook her head.

“I wonder why….”

The sitting girl shrugged, not understanding this any more than Mikasa did. She was just about to question her further when something else caught her attention. The ghost wasn’t sitting there on her own, there was something next to her – a tombstone with a very familiar name written on it.

Eren Yeager

Mikasa already had a suspicion, but this confirmed it – the sitting girl was the other Mikasa, the one she had dreams about, her past life. Following her eyes the ghost saw what she was looking at, her smile replaced by a look of deep longing. Gently, she caressed the stone, her eyes shining with tears.

“So the dreams were right, huh? You had to kill him.”

The ghost nodded solemnly.

“You saved the world, everyone, but you had to give the love of your life up.”

The apparition didn’t react, eyes trained at the cold tombstone.

“They say that if you love something, you should let it go.”, she told the ghost, “But I can’t do that….”

Looking over her shoulder at the man she loved so much, Mikasa let the words spill freely.

“I guess I’m selfish but I don’t want to lose this love we have, no matter what kind of symbolism it is. I want to wake up next to him every morning and spend ten minutes getting out of his hands because he holds me so tightly when we sleep. I want to see him yawn and wish him good morning and share a cup of coffee. I want him to be there for me when I come back so we can talk about our days and cuddle on the couch together…”

Her hands intertwined on the abdomen, gently stroking the fabric of her shirt.

“I want to have children with him, family, kids that will combine my and his looks and attitude. Is that selfish? Is that too much to ask? Is that…”

Lost in her speech Mikasa stumbled over the words and fell silent, letting out a short laugh after.

“I’m selfish and I don’t care. I’m never letting go simply because I don’t want to and damn everyone who disagrees with me. I deserve this, I deserve to be loved.”

As soon as those words left Mikasa’s lips she realized how insensitive those were towards her other self, the poor girl who, for all her bravery, for the act of saving the world itself – got nothing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”, she apologized to the sitting copy of herself, “I know that you never got to experience any of that with him.”

The ghost’s face fell and she buried her face to the scarf, eyes moving towards the headstone next to her. Seeing the longing written in her features, Mikasa couldn’t help but wonder.

“Did you… did you learn to let him go? Did you come to terms with his death?”

The pain in the girl’s eyes was all the answer Mikasa needed. It resonated within her, the suffering because she could imagine how it would feel. Maybe it was because she experienced it in her past life, maybe it was because of all these strange visions but she could do it and the pain and emptiness were terrible.

“This is not fair,”, she blurted, “You did everything you could, you saved the world and this was your reward? You’ve sacrificed… everything… and….”

She was crying now, Mikasa realized, her tears matching the ghost’s. Falling to her knees next to the girl she tried embracing her only to realize that she can’t touch a figment of her imagination.

“I’m so sorry for how the universe treated you, you deserved more, so, so much more….

More flashes- this time of a child, a faceless husband, grandkids too.

“This, all that… Did it make you happy?”

The ghost girl gave her a small enigmatic smile, and Mikasa realized one thing. It wasn’t for her to know – maybe she was happy with the other family, maybe she wasn’t, that would remain an enigma.

“But still, you kept visiting his grave,”, Mikasa’s eyes moved over to the headstone and the flowers there, “You never let his memory fade.”

A nod from the other girl.

“Still, it wasn’t fair to you. You could have been, no, should have been so much more…”, this time the raven’s eyes moved to where her Eren was, “You deserved to have a happy future with him too.”

“Yet you didn’t, and I did – you got the pain and I have the rewards you fought for. I swear, I will not let it go to waste.”

Standing up, she offered her hand to the ghost.

“Please, come with me, experience all that you bled for, struggled for so much. Let me show you how the love you wanted feels in full bloom.”

But the girl didn’t move, simply looking at her. And that was when Mikasa realized….

“… you don’t have to come with me because you are already here. You are me, I am you, we are the same person.”

It was strange, realizing that this was her- this old, tired soldier, a woman broken by a war Mikasa couldn’t even comprehend. A tragic hero who sacrificed her greatest love for the greater good, being left with nothing but a memory. A girl who was thrust into a cruel world and treated unfairly, no matter how hard she tried to change it, to save those she held dear. Tears in the corners of her eyes, Mikasa clenched her fists.

Not anymore.

Now there was no war, no titans, no apocalypse over their heads. Eren wouldn’t go to commit a global genocide to save his country, only to have it destroyed anyway. She wouldn’t marry another man and have children with him, bring her family to his grave, and plant flowers with pain in her heart. No.

Mikasa wasn’t a soldier anymore – she was an MMA fighter, a professional athlete, a model. Her life wasn’t filled with a constant struggle for survival. It was dreamy- filled with everything she could wish for, whatever it was spending her time with friends, goofing around with Eren, or training her pole dancing. She didn’t care for horses or sharpen her blades.

Eren wasn’t a hopeless maniac, driven to war by the sheer necessity of survival – he was a doctor, a surgeon, helping people in need not killing them.

Most importantly they were together – an engaged couple that loved each other so much that they couldn’t put it into words correctly. No tragedy would befall them.

Keeping her hand outstretched, Mikasa talked to the ghost again.

“We are one, but I am the lucky part of us, of me. I am love, I am the nights and lazy mornings spent in bed, I am all the kisses and hugs. You are my sadness, my sacrifice, my longing and pain, my unfulfilled and tragic fate.”

She stretched her fingers closer to the girl.

“Please, take my hand and experience it all with me, learn that there is beauty in this cruel world.”

Not hesitant anymore, the ghost held her hand towards Mikasa.

When their fingers made contact a chill ran down her spine and she gasped, blinking several times. The girl was gone, so was the grave, only the tree remained and gently swayed in the wind. And in her heart, in her soul, Mikasa felt different – different yet same because now she knew everything and the pain in her heart resonated.

It would always be a part of her, or rather it always was, but Mikasa wasn’t feeling down because of it. Now she knew that she had to feel everything, every touch and happy emotion that she experienced with him because it was what her past died for. If anything the full realization of her suffering made Mikasa appreciate it even more – she was living this life not only now but for the past too.

He was her Eren, she was his Mikasa, and in this world, nothing would tear them apart. And the tears the began to appear in her eyes did nothing to deny that fact.

“Miki? Why are you crying, what’s wrong?”

Refusing to answer Mikasa crossed the distance and hugged him, burying her face into Eren’s chest. Understanding that she didn’t want words now he stroked her back patiently, waiting for her to come back to him.

“Eren, you won’t ever leave me, will you?”

“Never.”

“I mean, I couldn’t do it even if wanted to.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I love you anymore, it’s more like fascination, adoration maybe.”

“…Eren…”

“Hell, I’d do anything to stay with you, you want me to bark for you? Cause I will..”

Despite her sad mood, Mikasa felt the smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Stop, come on.”

Ignoring that, he pressed his face into her hair, a quiet bark leaving his lips.

“Woof.”, he nuzzled her gently, “There, I did it.”

She giggled at that and Eren smirked, glad that he made her smile because that was his mission in life – making the beautiful angel he was, for some reason blessed by, happy.

It made her reflect on the whole story, now that she had it whole. Eren kept silent while Mikasa was deep in thought, his fingers gently stroking her hipbone in small soothing circles. In her mind, she recalled as much as she could, brought it together and….

Mikasa took a shuddering breath.

“It makes no god damn sense.”

“What doesn’t?”

“The whole story, It… it doesn’t add up at all. You dying for nothing, me moving on so quickly I… The whole world….”

She was pouting now, that adorable expression that made Eren want to kiss it right off of her face, but he held himself back. Mikasa was talking.

“It had such a nice build-up, but in the end, it collapsed completely. I don’t understand why….”

“Well, that is the thing with dreams.”, he mumbled next to her, “They often don’t make much sense once we wake up.”

“But still..”

“Mikiiiiiiiiii…”, unable to resist her cuteness anymore, he pressed a string of soft kisses all over her face, turning that pout into a breathless giggle, “Stop overthinking dreams so much.”

Grabbing her hand he intertwined their fingers, raising it so the sun slid over their skin. It highlighted the contrast between them, how his tanned shade complimented her pale one, just as perfectly as they completed one another in life.

“This. This is important.”, he said, “This is real. You may be a broken titan slayer in your dreams, but here you are… well, still a titan slayer but one that is happy… I think.”

His voice got even deeper when he directed his question right at her.

“Are you happy with me?”

Mikasa was nodding her head before she even realized what was happening.

“Yes. Gods yes, I couldn’t be happier.”

“See?”, the flash of white teeth revealed his grin, “Then focus on that. Here, in this world, I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll stay with you as long as you’ll have me.”

“That might be a very long time Yeager, are you sure that you want to do that to yourself?”

“As if I had a choice.”, his fingers danced over her hip, “You bound me to yourself with black magic, remember?”

“Good to see that you remember that. My Dark Knight.”

The kiss Eren gave her was interlaced with a smile, and it was one of the sweetest Mikasa ever got in her life. He was right, after all, her dreams, past self, it was a tragedy that befell her, but it was so jumbled at the end that she had a hard time taking it seriously. The “ending” of her past didn’t make sense, no matter how much she tried to see the point of it. It all looked like such a tragedy, but in the end…. was it maybe a comedy? A twisted image where all the sacrifice and pain they went through amounted to nothing? Where several characters were made to be worthless, and their struggle amounted to nothing? A parody of a terrible conflict that couldn’t be solved by anything else by an annihilation?

But... why dwell on it?

She had this- this life, this Eren, and this happiness that they built together, and she loved every second of it.

And there was nothing else that the past could show her anymore.

“Let’s get out of here.”

“You sure? Didn’t forget anything?”

Mikasa looked at the tree where the conversation with the ghost took place, smiling. Tightening her hold on Eren’s hand, she felt more content than ever before, finally having an explanation and ending for her nightmares. It all made sense, and she would live her life to the fullest with the love of her life – not only for herself but for the other Mikasa too. She deserved to experience it, every second of it. After all, they were one and the same.

“Yes. I have all I need right here with me.”

#eremika #fanfic #:)

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galacticlamps · 3 years

Text

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room.

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

#jamie mccrimmon #second doctor #big finish #Short Trips: Deleted Scenes #yes i am gonna tag this #two/jamie #i think it earned it with the line from celine's letter if nothing else #and quite possibly the doctor's so-called imprudent & pain-driven spying #but i'll leave it at that #in case anyone's looking at the tags to decide if they should actually read this rambling monster of a post #also if you for some reason read this but haven't listened to the audio -#a) that's kind of you to care what i have to say but #b) you could probably have listened to half of it by now lol #did i mention it's a stand-alone audio that only costs $3?#and it's more of a traditional audio book format with one narrator who voices all the characters?#sorry i wasn't ready to do a bf pitch in the tags here #i genuinely dont know why someone who hasn't already heard it would bother to read all this #but if anyone has - thanks?#i'll shut up now so you can get on w ur day :)

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omorphiavelvet · 3 years

Text

Kiss of Death.

The rain was incredibly tranquil, bouts of pitter-patter dropped onto different surfaces of concrete, creating a constant tempo and rhythm, one that could easily lull anyone to sleep. The imminent thunder was absent, but lightning would show itself every now and then, nonetheless, the rain poured.

On the many surfaces, the raindrops landed, stood two people. Boys, one tall and the other short by a considerable margin. The short, fair-skinned boy was clearly battered, holding his wounded arm whilst a cross lodged into the ground stood beside him, the glow of the markings within the cross was faint, and the black hues outside the markings only begun to serve as a contrast to the faint but determined glow.

The boy he was facing was unscathed, but it was clear how he was irritated and unwilling to tire himself out. He held a regal air over his lean and tall figure, hands behind his back as his lances stood by his side much like an extension of his regalia. His sculptured face was slashed neatly on the cheek, and although the wound has long healed, the scar was visible.

“How long do you intend to do this? You cannot defeat me.” The taller spoke, voice cold, clearly irritated, but his deep voice eerily calm as he gives the boy a cold stare, his brown eyes dull and empty.

The shorter boy merely scoffed, as battered as he may be, he was not one to give up easily. Letting go of his wounded arm to see that it no longer bled, but only left a scar, his own eyes glaring up in determination towards the taller, as the cross split lengthwise, and spears popped out of its mechanisms, adorned with onyx-silver chains.

“Until you give him back.” the shorter started with a stammer, grabbing a spear from the cross and clutching it tight in his hand, “I’m not going anywhere!” he declares, charging towards the man as the spears from the cross soon followed.

The taller made no move to intercept his oncoming attack, as the shorter lifted himself off of his feet and threw the spear as a preemptive strike, with frightening accuracy to add as the spear aimed to lunge itself at the man’s chest.

A portal opens within the spear’s trajectory, swallowing the object as another portal opened behind the shorter, spitting the spear back out with the blunt end as it knocks him over, nearly groveling at the taller’s feet had it not been for his hands that stopped the momentum.

“You are weak,” the man spoke again, “The honkai may have chosen you to hold a core, but you are no more than an ordinary human holding a powerful weapon, how do you intend to stop me, a god?” this time, his cold voice turned into a mocking one as he floats up to the air.

A barrage of portals surround the weakened boy, and within an instant, lances were spat out, though clearly aimed to kill him, they only bound and immobilized him, restricting his movement with the sheer girth of the lances.

“Give…” the boy started, shaking in determination and pure fury, making the lances vibrate, “Mingyu back!” he cried out as the lances that held him shattered, jumping up towards the taller with renewed vigor, his tattered blue and black getup replaced with white and lilies adorned the edge of his garment as the marking on his back glows a soft yet regal blue.

The man, with his irritation, now etched on his handsome face, summons a force of shockwave as it pushes everything within the back with terrifying power, but the boy, suspended in mid-air, refused to budge and only sought to have the man within an arms reach.

Within fingertips reach and before the taller could make any moves to get away, a collection of crosses sprouted out of thin air, surrounding the pair as chains sprouted out, binding the taller in quick succession as the crosses immediately planted themselves to the ground, leaving the dust to settle.

The man now kneeling down at the mercy of the shorter, was wrapped and completely immobilized.

Meanwhile, the shorter was panting, out of breath as he held the man by the cheeks, his gloved hands were gentle as if holding a lover’s face, perhaps to even kiss him. But the shorter’s sight was on the ground, trying to regain his composure and focus his sight.

“Two cores. . .reason and death no less.” The taller spoke, after a while of silence, “and to wield a weapon of the previous era so effortlessly, that’s foolish.” he remarked, though no trace of emotion was heard in his voice.

“You’re just a pathetic human, how could you have all this power?” He finished, disdain and envy clear in his deep yet distorted voice.

“I told you...I’m different.” The boy choked out, his voice clearly weak, but the look in his eyes once he looked up to face the taller was enough to back up his statement.

“Now...give Mingyu back.” He states, composure now regained as he never lets up his rather gentle grip on his visage, his eyes still holding the same amount of determination despite his rather calm voice.

“Oh...you mean this body?” The man merely scoffed, “Without my core, this man is merely a husk, a doll if you will.” He answered.

“Stop spouting bullshit and give him back to me!” his voice shook in anger, though he tries to sound as level-headed as possible.

“It’s true, the man you call your lover...Mingyu, was it?” he started mockingly, “He’s long gone- ah, that’s not fair to say, it’s more plausible to say that I am him.” The menacing declaration only served to fuel the shorter’s already bubbling anger.

“Stop lying and give him back!” The shorter tried, releasing a gust of power the rendered the nearby plant life as good as dead as his eyes were no longer humane, his pupils and irises now shaped into a cross, tilted to an angle, more specifically, an x.

“Why do you keeping asking for him? He’s just a clone, a vessel made to house my soul.” The man asks, incredulous, making no moves to attack, but rather he was trying to comprehend how this human went to great lengths for a human, a clone even.

The shorter succumbed to his knees, his pants returned, til they turned into soft sobbing, his hand slipping from his cheeks and to the neat blazer the taller wore, clutching it tightly as he kneels, humiliated, tired, and heartbroken.

“Please...” he hiccupped, pleaded to particularly no one as he lets out choked out sobs, looking up to face the other, cheeks tear-stained as they continue to flow, looking straight into the taller’s eyes, his determination long tempered into grief.

“Give him...give me Mingyu back…” He continued, his sobs becoming coughed out as he feels himself being ripped apart by a force stronger than anything he had encountered, “I’ll do anything, please, just give him back…” He begged.

The tranquil rain was no longer tranquil, as the arrival of the roaring thunder filled the grieving silence between the two figures, one bound by chains and the other holding onto them, placed in the center of the collection of crosses that surrounded them.

Before the taller could mock the other’s pitiful state of being, a flurry of memories rushed and flooded his senses. Memories of the one they call Mingyu.

“Mingyu, you have to let go of me.” A gentle voice resounded, too familiar not to be recognized by the one who possessed the taller.

“No! I refuse!” The shorter, presumably Mingyu, petulantly refused, holding onto the arm of a boy with eyes closed.

“Mingyu, come on.” The gentle voice began, as a hand reached to cup the other’s sunkissed visage.

“This isn’t how you play tag. Now, will you let me go? I promise to treat you to ice cream if you manage to catch me next time you’re it.” The gentle voice soothed the child, though not much taller than him as he wriggles his arm out of his grip and brushes some of the messed up tufts of raven black hair away from Mingyu’s sight.

Memories continued to flash in front of the taller. Laughter, tears, kisses, and the way the certain figures held each other, love clearly so evident in their shared gazes and longing stares.

Another memory began to play within his sight.

“Mingyu, look! I’m officially a valkyrie!” The gentle voice, now much cheerful and rather proud, showed himself off to Mingyu, who was all grown up, much, much taller than the owner of the voice.

“Valkyrie?” Mingyu tilts his head in confusion, “Isn’t the title for girls?” He asks, blinking slowly.

“Ah! well...Principal Theresa and the higher-ups decided to name me that for the time being...until I’m officially put in a squad, I’m an A-rank Valkyrie!” He explains meekly.

“Really? I thought you were aiming to be S-rank?”

“Well, I barely passed the written part of the exam.”

Soft laughter emitted from the pair as Mingyu lifts up the shorter, singing words of praise for him.

The last memory was too vivid to be called anything but recent.

“Mingyu, no!” the voice cried out, “Let me hold the core instead! Your body might not take another core!”

“I can’t let you do everything!” Mingyu replied.

The boy stopped in his tracks.

“You think I didn’t know?” Mingyu says, and for the first time, his voice broke from the sadness.

Flashes of memories began showing again, showing the familiar back of the shorter, adorned with the mark of an orchid flower and a frazzled orb.

“Two years,” A blue-haired girl started. “That’s all you have left,” She explained.

“The cores may be benevolent in nature, but the honkai energy is ultimately a chaotic force that powers the cores.” She explained. “Even if we took out the cores from your body, your Honkai adaptability, will do next to nothing to improve your lifespan.”

the boy, now draped in hospital gowns with things attached to his wrist, smiled sadly, giving out a soft sigh.

“I guess it was only a matter of time, huh?” he muttered, looking at his palms in silent thought.

he looks back up to the blue-haired woman before him, “can I make one request, professor?”

“go ahead.”

“Can you not tell this to Mingyu? I want to be able to tell him myself, at least.”

“Alright, but you'll have to tell him quick, that boy's been sweating buckets ever since he found you in the shipwreck.”

The shorter merely chuckled.

Little did the pair know, Mingyu was listening from the other side of the wall, a stray tear falling down from his cheek as his lips quivered.

He returns to the prior memory.

“You always try to do everything, always trying to save everyone! And maybe it is for the better…” Mingyu started.

“But why am I the only one who feels this way?” He continued.

“I may not be as skilled as fighting or as smart as the others, but all I know is…”

“Mingyu, please.”

“This world, this wretched world…” he croaked out, “Means nothing to me without you!”

and as Mingyu grabs the suspended gem, light completely envelops both of them and their surroundings.

He's immediately brought back to reality, and breaks free of the binds fairly easily, blowing the shorter of the male, including the crosses that surrounded them, away from him.

“Foolish human! sacrificing yourself for a clone, loving a soulless husk of flesh! no matter how many cores you take,” the man began, summoning cubes out of thin air.

“you will never stop the Honkai!” he cries out in anger, trapping the grieving male in the cubes and commanding his lances to slice the cube cleanly with much anger in his gestures.

He finishes his attack with a powerful blast at the sliced cubes, but his brown eyes were already fighting to be alight with life and vigor, causing a splitting headache that he forcibly chose to ignore.

The male, arising from the wreck as the dust settles, was completely beaten up, his beautiful getup shattered as he held on to a stray spear from his cross before.

He was completely silent, the black cross growing in purple flocking to him as he heaved labored breaths.

From this distance, the taller could not clearly see the man's expression, and slowly became unnerved by the silence that befell upon them. Having grown used to the cries of anger and grief of the other.

“Die! Die! Die! Return from whence you came!” The taller repeatedly cried out as he launched attacks towards the battered male.

Each attack was dodged gracefully as the shorter geared up and charged towards him, his cross becoming a skateboard of sorts as two spears joined on both ends and transformed into a double-ended one, parrying and blocking each attack that came his way.

Mingyu, the shorter began.

I'm sorry that you had to find out this way. That I didn't break my obsolete habit of doing everything for everyone. For giving myself to the world so readily without thinking of the people that wanted me as I am.

The attacks continued and did little to slow the shorter down, his eyes flaring up in a different kind of determination.

But to tell you the truth...I failed my written exam on purpose. Principal Theresa had told me that If I became S-rank... I'd have little time to see you, kiss you, hold you, and even fight alongside you.

I know I told you that I was gonna become the best soldier ever, but even then, what was being the best soldier when I couldn't see your smile? telling me how proud you are of me? teasing me about my height despite me being able to wreck your shit one hundred percent?

what was being the best soldier if you weren't there to scold me, telling me to be more careful next time, patching up my wounds, then cooking me the best dinner buffet ever?

He continued to charge towards him, jumping off of the cross, as another one materialized above the taller.

“using the same trick again! how foolish!” the taller cried out, gathering power in his hand, ready to toss it above.

“Judah!” the shorter cried out, fully materializing the cross, as it split in half lengthwise, spitting out spears that shot everywhere, held by golden chains as it surrounds the taller.

By then, the power had dissipated from his hand, effectively neutralising the taller's next attack as the cross drops behind him, pinning him on the surface of it through the chains that pulled.

“this...what is this?!” the taller cried out in anger, panicking when he was unable to channel and utilise his power.

“the oath of judah— or a complete perfect replica of it...principal theresa's cross.” the shorter explained.

“the cross contains the core of the herrscher of binding, who can neutralise honkai energy and bind the target...however this cross doesn't have that core...but it has enough power to bind you.” the shorter panted, the pain of infection flaring up from his back.

“the more you use your herrscher powers...the more your physical body will be infected.” the blue-haired woman explains again.

“so I'll turn into a zombie?”

“not specifically. the core of reason is sentient and rather benevolent...the core will probably eliminate your physical body...and turn you into a part of it.”

“and what about the core of death?”

“it's an independent core, it won't fight your disintegration, but I doubt the core will find the strength to work with the core of reason again if it doesn't have your body.”

Two years. He could've spent the remaining two years of his life with Mingyu. Images and thoughts of marriage, family, and lifelong accompaniment begin to swirl in the shorter's thoughts.

But Fate was far too cruel to the both of them.

As the taller struggled and mocked the shorter, pitifully bound by the chains who only flared up in response to his anger, the shorter takes a few steps forward, leaning down to the kneeling man.

“the core of death?”

“yes, it's abilities are quite... interesting.” the blue-haired woman, now known as einstein began to ponder verbally.

“what's so interesting about it?”

“for one, the core doesn't just kill living beings...or bring living beings back to life.”

“I'm not following.”

“I have studied the core for quite a while, and tested it on numerous samples, which were mostly physical.” she began.

“but there is this theory, that the core doesn't only kill living things... physically.”

“I'm still not getting it.”

“Part of why the Honkai zombies become essentially brainless is not only their cognitive functions becoming impaired, but also their egos being reduced to a number of commands.”

“so you're saying the core is capable of killing personalities? I don't see how that's beneficial.”

“With the right amount of practice and power, yes, it can kill personalities, but also bring them back to life.”

Einstein, your theory had better be true, the shorter remarked in his thoughts as he comes face to face with the taller.

the orchid flower mark on his back began to glow softly as he cups the other's cheeks yet again, before planting his lips upon the other's.

the kiss was nothing romantic, maybe to the taller, but to him, it may be the last kiss he'll ever give to him.

The taller began to feel a sense of drowsiness at the contact of their lips, not only was he feeling completely powerless, but his limbs were completely going slack, and his struggles ceased.

he couldn't move anything, not even his lips, as sensations slowly left his body. the patter of rain against his now drenched outfit, the hammering heart within him, and the cool winds that would've let his body shuddered in response.

The last sensation he felt was his lips, until his eyes met the darkness.

Mingyu finally comes to, as if he had awoken from a nightmare. His breaths were labored, like he was drowning and he was just resuscitated back to life.

he was not in the place that was ruptured into pitiful pieces by the powers capable of bending physical laws, but he was in a different space.

a peaceful one.

colors swirled all around him, he felt weightless, like a burden was relieved off of him as he looks around in mere confusion.

then the thought hits him.

he cries out the shorter's name, frantic, scrambling to his feet to run, in hopes of finding a way out of this space. To finally reunite with who he loved, the person he's been aching to hold in his arms.

“what are you flailing about? you look like a deer caught in the headlights.” the familiar voice spoke up, causing Mingyu to turn sharply to his back, seeing the owner of the voice he wanted to hear the most.

“How— When did you— god, you fucking idiot!” He immediately stammered, collecting the smaller into his arms, tears silently flowing to his cheeks as he gives him a squeeze, happy to have him in his arms.

“Hey, Hey. Deep breaths, baby.” The shorter one removed his death grip on him, smiling gently as he held him by the shoulders.

Mingyu collects himself and his composure, all too elated to finally be reunited with his lover.

“Wha— What happened? All I remember is grabbing the core and the light— What happened to the core?” Mingyu asks.

“The core is within you.” He began, his smile subtly dropping, “In the process of trying to fuse with the core, you awakened something within you.” He continued.

“So much is happening, Mingyu. I can't really tell you everything because I don't know how to begin.” He heaves a sigh at that.

“Oh.” Mingyu merely responds.

“How can we get out then? I wanna see everyone! I wanna make up for the things I did.” Mingyu questions.

The shorter a sad smile on his face, though Mingyu doesn't seem to notice it. “Come on, walk with me for a while.” He reaches a hand out.

Mingyu took the hand, intertwining their fingers as he followed his steps, letting a comfortable silence fall upon them.

“Mingyu.” He calls out.

“Hmm? Yes, my love?”

“How are you feeling?”

Mingyu draws a blank upon the question. How was he feeling? He couldn't describe it. He knocked out, heard a menacing voice whispering bitter remarks into his ear.

He could recall fragments of what seemed like him hurting his boyfriend, mocking him. He could hardly believe that he himself was saying such horrible and demeaning things.

Even in such a state of slumber, Mingyu refused to believe that he was hurting the ones he loved.

And when he saw his determined, yet tearful eyes, he almost believed that it was really him, he was really doing all of this.

He didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to listen to the voice that keeps planting sinister thoughts into his head.

So he dreamt.

He recalls every memory he has with him, fond, sad, lovely, and even when they first fought. All these memories, they were precious to him, and he allowed himself to be foolishly trapped into the dream, reliving his greatest memories.

“Mingyu?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“You spaced out, it's okay.”

“What was the question again?”

“How are you feeling, my sweet?”

Mingyu ponders again, this time not recalling the series of events that transpired. Instead, he looks at their intertwined hands and the sweet smile his lover wore.

“Like home.” He finally answered.

“Like home?” the shorter repeated, clearly amused.

“Don't laugh, it's true!” Mingyu whined, pouting at him.

“Alright, alright. I won't.”

They shared a few chuckles as they walked, the pathless route seemingly endless as they fell into their natural state of conversing, banter and some sweet kisses here and there.

Mingyu was chuckling when he suddenly let go of his hand.

“We're here.” He says.

“Where?” Mingyu asks, before turning front and facing a rather ancient door.

“The end.” He answers, as calm as he could possibly be.

“What do you mean?”

“When you walk through that door, you'll wake up from the nightmare, my love.” He answers.

Silence befell upon them again, this time, it wasn't a comfortable one.

“What about you? Will I see you when I wake up?” Mingyu finally breaks the silence.

He couldn't bring himself to answer his question.

“Then I'm not going.”

“Mingyu, please—”

“No, I won't! That's final!” Mingyu began, firm.

“Mingyu, please you're acting like a child—”

“I don't care!” he added.

“I don't care if I'm living in a nightmare, If I'll sleep forever...I don't care! as long as I'm with you, I'll be fine!”

“Mingyu—”

Before he could continue to reason with him, Mingyu lunged into his hug, wrapping his arms around him.

“Please...please let me stay with you.” He pleaded.

“Mingyu, I can't.” He began.

Mingyu didn't let up, only hugging the smaller as tears began flowing down his cheeks again.

Mingyu, still holding onto him notices how weightless he's gotten.

“Mingyu, you have to let me go.”

“No!”

A shaky sigh escapes him, trying not to let the tears fall as he begins losing sensations, and at this point, he could barely feel Mingyu's grip around his body.

He was fading.

It was as Einstein had told him, the core was slowly consuming him before the Honkai infection could.

“Mingyu, please— we can't keep going on like this.”

“No!” Mingyu replied, defiant.

A sob escapes him at his reply, unable to hold back the tears.

“at least hold me properly?” he finally says, softly.

Mingyu reluctantly agrees, shifting and putting the boy on his lap as he wraps an arm around him from behind, and in this angle, he could see how the boy was becoming transparent.

“Why?” Mingyu asks, now full on crying as he gazes at the fading body of the love of his life.

“I told you to rest! eat your meals! and not strain yourself…” He trailed off, crying.

“It was my only chance of bringing you back…” He answers, smiling sadly as he relishes what he could in Mingyu's arms.

“You idiot…” Mingyu merely added on, still crying as he holds him tight, afraid that he'll completely slip from his arms.

Mingyu keeps crying, hoping that this was another nightmare the voice had conjured for him to break his spirits, he hoped that he could wake up and he would be waiting for him with his sheepish smile, and he could scold him again for staying up.

but it felt real. all too real.

The way his body was phasing to and fro being transparent then physical, the sweet words whispered into his ears that did nothing to soothe his pain.

“Please... don't go…” Mingyu pleaded.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry...Mingyu.” He only replied, crying.

Mingyu didn't say anything else and fully hugged the other's fading body, as light from the door envelops the both of them.

Mingyu comes to, this time, he was in the place he last saw before his seemingly eternal slumber, and before anything else, he felt lips against his own.

His lips.

They were breathing life into him, and washing away the pain the core brought upon him, opening his eyes. He sees the dimming light of life from his eyes, his arms instinctively coming up to wrap around his figure.

the shorter had enough strength to pull away from the kiss and let himself be held by the taller.

“Ah...I feel so light...Is that you, Mingyu?” He weakly calls out.

“Yes, yes. it's me.” He answers softly but frantically as he holds onto him, crying softly.

“Thank goodness…”

The silence would've filled the room if not for the hardly silent cries that were Mingyu's.

“Mingyu?”

“Yes, my love?” He answers, his voice breaking.

“I love you…” He muttered.

“I love you too, so much…please, stay with me…” He pleaded, but he knew it was too late, his pleas were never heard by the gods in the first place.

“Thank goodness...I was afraid...I couldn't say it again…” He muttered, before he closes his eyes, a soft glow enveloping his figure, the light becomes harsh for a short while that Mingyu had to look away for a short while.

When Mingyu looks again, the body of his lover was completely gone, like they were never there in the first place, and instead, he was holding two gems in his hand.

one had the orchid flower carved beautifully onto its azure surfaces, and the other merely held a smooth cerulean surface.

Mingyu's cries became louder at the sight, the reality of the situation finally sinking in as he holds the gems close to his chest, the only remaining reminders of the man he loved so dearly.

Yet the rain has stopped, and only the silent light of the sun peeking through could be seen.

The turbulently tranquil rain had stopped, and if only Mingyu had looked up, he would see a beautiful sunrise, bringing a surge of new hope to many.

But to Mingyu, he could only fill the skies with his tears, and the new day had only brought him pain, as his cries were hardly heard by the one he lost.

#completely self indulgent #honkai 3rd #honkai impact #seventeen x male reader #kpop x male reader #mingyu x male reader #fanfic #hi3rd

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isolemnlyswearpevensie · 3 years

Text

The Magic Inside of Us Part 4 | Edmund Pevensie x Reader

Warnings: slightly dark themes, mentions of weapons, mention of war, curse words

Time/Era: Deathly Hallows/Prince Caspian, Y/N and Edmund are 6th year/16 years old

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: War falls across Narnia quickly, pulling Y/N into the heat.

Request: Narnia x Harry Potter crossover.

A/N: Sorry for the delay lol. One more part after this! Woohoo!

| previous part |

masterlist | series masterlist | edmund pevensie playlist | read on ao3

“Hold still,” Y/N held Edmund’s face in between her fingers. There was a large, deep gash striking across his left eyebrow. “This is going to hurt.”

“Oh great! Exactly what we need-”

“Episky!” Y/N cut off Edmund with a wave of her wand. The wound immediately began to close, but Ed let out a harsh grunt.

“Blimey, Y/N!”

Y/N stood and made her way to Susan to do the same thing to her injury. “You’re welcome, Pevensie. Be glad you’re not bleeding out anymore.”

Y/N’s voice was stern and cold. She felt silly being upset; this wasn’t her world and it wasn’t her friends. But, at the same time, she knew this would happen.

“How did you learn how to do that?” Susan asks, holding her arm out towards her friend.

“I’ve had a lot of practice at school. When one of your close friends is Harry Potter, you get used to everyone being a bit banged up.” Y/N smiled sadly and observed Susan’s skin. “Now, hold still. Yours shouldn’t hurt as bad.”

Susan’s wounds healed and she observed her arm. “Who’s Harry Potter and why does being friends with him mean you’re injured?”

“What do you mean? Harry Potter is the-”

Edmund clears his throat and sends Y/N a pointed look. “He’s a boy a year above us. He plays quidditch.”

“That’s the magical sport right?” Susan’s voice wavered with uncertainty and she looked towards Y/N for validation.

“Right, yeah. Yeah, my best friend Ginny plays too.”

“So, you like to keep secrets,” Y/N bit into an apple as she leaned against a marble pillar. It was unlike any apple she had ever tasted before; it was a dark purple color with a certain plumpness that made your mouth water. As one bit into it, juice that was as sweet as candy dripped down your chin. “That’s interesting.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Edmund grunted, his gaze fixed on the small dagger he was sharpening. It appeared to be Lucy’s.

“Mmhm, what don’t they know?”

“Pretty much all of it. I don’t want them to worry.”

Y/N laughed curtly and took another bite of her fruit. “Ah, I see. So you thought keeping them in the dark about everything wizard related would keep them safer? Now I understand why you don’t like doing magic in front of them.”

“I don’t like your sarcasm.”

“I don’t like secrets, Ed.” The girl walked over to the tomb opening and tossed her apple core into the distance. “Knowledge is power, you know. It would probably be nice to inform them that the entire wizarding world is at war.”

“They’ve had enough war in their lifetimes, love. They don’t need to get wrapped up in another one; especially one where they are practically defenseless in.” Edmund looked up at Y/N then back down to the weapon in his hand. It was now much sharper and it caught the torchlight.

“I suppose,” Y/N sat next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. “Was the invasion bad? Peter and Caspian seemed, um, tense.”

“Bad sure is a word for it.”

The two were talking in hushed whispers now as they watched everyone tend to the wounded and prepare for a potential attack.

“A lot of your soldiers didn’t return,” Y/N felt Edmund wrap an arm around her waist. “You don’t have to explain what happened. I know how hard death is.”

“I’m fine, I suppose. I didn’t mean to worry you.” Edmund’s chest rose and fell with a sigh. “Peter’s planning another attack, though. It’s like he has something to prove.”

“To who?” “Us, Caspian, himself. He’s a bit hardheaded.”

“Guess that runs in the family.” Y/n giggled, trying to brighten the mood of the conversation. “Would that Aslan figure be able to help? I mean, you and your siblings speak so highly of-”

“I’m not quite sure,” Edmund interrupted, his fingers pressing into Y/N’s side. “Maybe.”

“Is there a way to contact him?”

“If anyone has a chance, it’s Lucy. I don’t know, I wouldn’t hold my breath.”

The pair looked towards the small girl. She looked to be having a deep conversation with Peter, nodding every other word spoken. Y/N leaned into Edmund and rested her head against his shoulder.

“I’m sure all will be well, darling.” Her voice sounded alongside a sigh.

“Now’s not the time for chivalry, Peter!” Edmund shouted, one hand gripping the handle of his sword, the other Y/N’s hip. Peter stared into Miraz’s eyes as he kneeled before the young king. The two share some more words before Peter presents his sword towards Caspian.

“I can’t watch,” Y/N whispers before turning her head.

Her body flinches as Caspian screams and everything starts moving quickly.

“Run!” Edmund yells, grabbing Y/N’s elbow and pulling with full force. Her body jerks in his direction, but her gaze stays forward. Hundreds of soldiers were marching towards them, making Y/N’s entire body grow hot.

Y/N had never been in actual battle before; while the wizarding world was in a war, she had never seen it first hand. So being forced into it head-on was bone-crushingly terrifying. Arrows whizzed by her head, armor clashed, swords were drawn, and suddenly, the air became thick with blood and screams.

“Stay here,” Edmund breathed, pushing Y/N behind a large boulder.

“Are you mental?! I’m not just going to let you-”

“This isn’t your war, sweetheart.’ A sad smile crossed his face before he leaned down and pressed a haste kiss to her cheek. “I’m not going to let you risk your life fighting for us. It’s not fair.”

“Life’s not fair, Pevensie,” Y/N stood and drew her wand. “Protego!”

A stone-strong barrier came over the two sitting ducks right before a Telmarine soldier drove his weapon into Edmund’s shoulder blade.

“I’m not defenseless! I just don’t have a sword!” Y/N’s voice is loud now. “They won’t know what’s coming!”

“For the love of merlin, Y/N!” Edmund gripped either side of her shoulders. “I’m not letting you get hurt.”

A smile plastered over Y/N’s cheeks, “Who said I’m getting hurt?”

Edmund sat on the grand steps of the palace, now freshly bathed and dressed in new clothes. His muscles ached and his shoulders drooped with every breath; the blisters on his palms burned in anguish and his jaw cramped from the stress of battle. Edmund was exhausted.

“Hey,” Y/N grinned, freshly dressed in her own clothing. “I was wondering where you were. Everyone is gathered by the weird looking tree.”

The boy grinned ear to ear when he saw Y/N. She looked gorgeous dressed in formal Narnian clothing, and he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander the long expanse of her dress.

“There she is,” Edmund stood. “I was waiting for you to find me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Silence overtook the pair. It was an odd silence; both of the teens had grown used to the white noise of armor clanking or swords being sharpened. Now, the sounds of battle were replaced with birds and running water. It just sounded… odd.

“Thanks by the way,” Y/N said after a few moments. “For the whole ‘trying to protect me’ thing. It was sweet.”

“Sweet? That’s all I get?” Edmund scrunched his nose playfully.

The girl wrapped her arms around his middle and looked up at him. “Sweetest thing anyone’s done for me, that’s for sure. Showed you care.”

“Of course I care, Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They giggled awkwardly.

“What do we do now?” Y/N broke the ice once more. “I mean, you’re King of an entire fucking country- or is it a world? I still don’t understand your title.”

“Well, There’s a lot of things we can do. We can explore that whole finding each other attractive thing we briefly mentioned for one.”

Y/N hummed, eyelids hooded. “Mmm, could we now?”

“I’d like to, at least.” Edmund tucked a piece of hair behind Y/N’s ear. “And I think you do too.”

“Me? Date a royal? Isn’t there rules against that?” Edmund snickered, “Love, I make the rules.”

“Oh, right. I forgot about that-”

“Y/N?”

“Edmund.”

He smiled and leaned in, “Shut up for once, will you?” ~ The Magic Inside of Us Taglist: @pillowjj @lumoscharlie @crumpets-are-better-with-jam @urbankaite2 @oldschoolkiddo @whothefuckstolemykeds

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silveanna · 3 years

Text

In The Next Lifetime

Non-idol!Jaehyun x Fem!reader

Summary: your bestfriend Jaehyun is dating someone for 5 years now you should be happy for them right? A big NO, he’s your soulmate and he’s supposed to end up with you in this generation. And clearly it’s too late for that to happen.

Genre: Slight angst, Reincarnation!au, Soulmate!au,

College!au

Note: Agatha is your great great grandmother:)

Even though time has changed you’re still the one I will choose in the next life

“In the past few days, I keep dreaming about you” your best friend Jaehyun said, you two were at his rooftop laying down while looking up in the night sky.

“Really?”

“Yea, you were wearing a historical gown and it seems like we’re still super close in those dreams” he explains, the image of you in his dream flashes in his mind again.

“Well I dreamed about you too, and as far as I can remember, you’re a son of a farmer”

You change your position and faced him “do you think it means something, Jae?”

“Hm... maybe”

It was weekend again, you and your family visited your grandma and stayed in her house for the night. It was 8pm when your grandma knocks on your door, you quickly opened it and greeted her with a sweet smile “Yes nana?”

“I want to show you something, come follow me” she smiled and gestured you to follow her, confused, you put your phone in your pocket and followed her.

She lead you into a unfamiliar place of the house, it’s also a bit dark and dusty. At the end of the hall it was a dead end, and there’s large bookshelf there.

You were wondering if she wants to give you a bunch of books to read not until she pulls out one book and suddenly, a tunnel opened. You and your grandma immediately went inside, it was completely dark so you turned on the flashlight in your phone.

In the end of the tunnel, there was a small room filled with very old stuffs. Your grandma finally found the switch and turns on the light, it wasn’t bright enough to lightened up the room though.

What are all these stuffs? “Is this what you wanted to show me nana?” You looked at her, she smiled and shook her head. She went to a large object that looks like a painting and removed the cloth covering it. “This”

What the-

You silently gasp and hold your head, seeing the painting suddenly made your head ache.

It was a woman wearing a historical gown, her hair was long and curly, and she looks exactly like You “Are you alright?” Your grandma ask you.

“Yes..uh, is that me?”

“No, She’s your great great grandmother. Agatha. She looks exactly like you right?, Beautiful” she runs her fingers softly to the dusty painting. “This is the only painting of hers that she passed through the generations, why? the love of her life is the one who painted this”

“What’s his name?”

“Jaehyun, the eldest son of the farmer who works for Agatha’s family”

Year 1894

“What? Why?”

“Well isn’t it obvious? He’s noble, respectful, handsome and can cook. Agatha, He’s the right guy for you” her father explains, suddenly she loses her appetite to eat.

“But I love someone else..” she whispered.

“What?” the tone of her fathers voice suddenly changes, he hardly even heard her but he’s sure she said something that’s against his plan.“N-nothing, I’m full thank you for the food” she forced a smile and immediately went upstairs to her room.

Her father arranges a marriage for her with a man she has no idea who is, Agatha wanted to protest and tell him she loves someone else but she’s too scared.

It was midnight and everyone was peacefully sleeping, Agatha took this chance to sneak out and meet up with someone. She uses a match to light up the small lamp and took it with her. She immediately went to the garden where there’s a small house located, it took few knocks before someone opened the door. “Jae..” Agatha whispered and hugged him tightly.

“Darling what’s wrong?”

“It’s Father,he arranged a marriage for me with someone else, I don’t want it Jae. I want to be with you” she hugged him even tighter, Jaehyun sighed and stroked her hair.

He didn’t know what to do, the man your marrying must be rich and he can’t compete with him since he’s just a son of a farmer. You’re in a era where the rich are powerful.

Jaehyun closed his eyes took a deep breath, him and Agatha really love each other and there’s no other choice but to “let’s runaway, let’s find a house very far from here, build a family after a few years and live happy together.

——

“Absolutely not”

“Father please I’m begging you” Jaehyun’s father is utterly against the plan, he didn’t want to let go of his boy,still hesitating. “But it really looks like you two love each other, well then i will escort both of you on the way out..”

“Really? Thank you Father! I promise once we get there, i’ll write you a letter” Jaehyun hugged him, his Father patted his back while forcing a smile trying to hold back his tears. “I’ll visit you two on holidays”

Agatha was also weren’t quite happy about the running away plan, she has a lot of responsibilities at home but she also don’t want to be stuck with a man her family forced her to love.

all of them finally went out, but before the couple leaves Jaehyun’s Father hugged him again for the last time. It didn’t last long, Agatha’s Father came marching with a bunch of guards, his face filled with anger. “Traitors!”

“Father I-“

“Silence! And you rascals! I treated your family very well and this is how you will repay me?! Abducting my daughter?!” The way Agatha’s Father just casually calls Jaehyun and his father rascals angered her. She wanted to protest but the guards are holding her back.

“I’m vanishing you to this town and never to be seen ever again! If you dared to come back I will not hesitate to kill you!”

“No!” Agatha screamed, the guards took her back to her room and there she cried for hour and hours until she no longer feels anything. Completely numb and lonely. She stood up and searched for something, a painting of hers precisely.

While staring on the portrait, happy memories of her and Jaehyun started to flash in her head “Stay still! This may turn out badly if you keep moving!”

As expected, the next day, Jaehyun and his family is no longer around and has completely disappeared in town. And in that day, Agatha started to receive letters from him and she would always write back. But the letters stopped coming and Agatha eventually got married and had a family.

Back to Present time

“The end”

“Wow, that’s so sad.. did they get to see each other again nana?”You ask sounding like a little kid.

“Sadly, no, but the last letter that Agatha received from him says that Jaehyun will be searching for her in their next life” your grandma explains, you suddenly remembered the dreams you and jaehyun were talking about the other night. Maybe it does means something, it wasn’t you who Jaehyun saw it was Agatha!

And both of you are the Reincarnation of Agatha and Jaehyun in the past life!

It didn’t work in the past but the universe gave them/you another chance to try again.

“Argh!” You heard a piercing sound and your head started to hurt again, “Sweetie are you alright? Come let’s go back to your room so you can rest.” Your nana helps you on the way out.

After hearing Agatha’s story, you’ve been spacing out the whole weekend, you wanted to call Your bestfriend but maybe it’s the best to tell him everything in person.

You were packing your things in Your room when your grandma came knocking in. “Yes nana? Do you need something?”

“No, it’s just that.. I wanted to give you this” she handed you an old notebook it says ‘Diary’ on the front cover, “that’s Agatha’s Diary, something is telling me that I should give it to you because it might be a help” she explains. You nodded and hugged her.

“And you can keep it” she added.

You furrowed your eyebrows in disbelief “I don’t think— but since something is telling you to, then sure I’ll keep it”

It was already 4am but you couldn’t sleep, something is bugging the hell out of you. Maybe it’s the Diary? You look at your study table where Agatha’s Diary sits.

You turned on your lamp and read the first few pages, it was quite entertaining. The untold stories lies in her Diary. You read further and come to a small portrait of Jaehyun. He’s wearing the same attire you saw in your dreams. You flipped the pages again and a paper slipped out, you quickly picked it up and read what’s written in it.

‘I Promise to look for you in the next life’

“That’s it?” You said, quite disappointed and looking on the other side of the small parchment. But that’s all it says. You sighed and put it all back. Going back to your bed and forced your self to sleep since you still have school later.

“Hey Y/N!” Your bestfriend Jaehyun greeted you. But your too busy spacing out so he flicked your forehead “Ouch! What was that for?” You glared at him and rubbed your forehead.

“You’ve been spacing a lot lately Y/N is something wrong? What happened at your Nana’s?” He ask.

you didn’t know where to begin, Jaehyun has the right to know but what’s holding you back?

“Hi Jae!” A girl pops out of nowhere and pecked Jaehyun’s lips.

Your eyes widened, “who the hell is she?” You pointed at her. It confuses you more when he puts his arm around her shoulder. “My Girlfriend, Remember? We’ve been dating for 5 years now. Y/N did you hit your head on something?”

You’ve been pretty busy minding Agatha’s story and her Diary that you forgot Jaehyun in fact has a Girlfriend. You softly shook your head and look at the girl, “u-uh what’s your name again?”

Confused, she replies “Lily, Seung Liliy”

But Jaehyun is supposed to be with you right? what the hell did you do in the past years that made him fell in love with someone else?

“Anyways, my friend is throwing a party at her house if you’re free then we can come together?” Lily changes the topic.

“Sure, how about you? wanna come with us Y/N?” Jaehyun and Lily both looks at you waiting for your response.

“Yea yea sure, why not” you shrugged.

The music was very loud you barely even hear your own voice, so you decided to stay outside for a while. It was a bit chilly, quiet and you were lonely but it’s fine. It’s better if you’re alone.

“What are you doing here?”an unfamiliar voice spoke behind. You turned around and saw it was Johnny Suh.Your classmate.

“It’s loud inside... and, I can’t find my friends” you looked down avoiding eye contact, you felt a bit akward since this is the first time Johnny talks to you. He nodded, “same”

“Johnny?”

“Hm?”

“What would you do if your soulmate is in love with someone else?” You ask randomly, you weren’t that close to ask him about things like that. But he’s the only person who showed up and it seems like you can trust him. “Well if they’re really in love and happy with that someone then so be it, i don’t want to ruin the relationship. Not all soulmates end up with each other” he answered.

You nodded your head and looked down, “I was given a chance but it’s too late when I found out” Johnny has no idea what are you talking about so he just stayed silent. But after that, you changed the topic. The conversation last long until it’s time to go home, “see you at school” you smiled and waved goodbye at Johnny. He did the same.

Jaehyun droves you home and when both of you are finally in your doorstep you stopped and faced him, “Jae, Do you love Lily?”

“What made you ask that? Of course I love her”he replied.

“Like Love LOVE?” You ask him again.

“Yes I Love LOVE her truly, I could see my whole life with her without cringing”

“Ok then... see you tomorrow”before going inside your apartment, you smiled at him and after that you shut the door. You leaned back on the door and took a deep breath while running a hand thru your hair.

I’m sorry Agatha.

Year 2105

Lunch time, but it was too crowded in the cafeteria so Y/N decided to eat at the rooftop instead.

Her eyebrows furrowed when she saw a boy standing near the edge of the building, he was about to jump but luckily Y/N immediately pulled him down and he ended up falling on top of her.

“What the hell” the boy said and got up.

“I’m the one who’s supposed to say that, WHAT THE HELL What are you doing?!”

“Well isn’t obvious? I’m committing suicide!” The boy shouts back.

“Stop screaming! and if you really died the doctors gonna see you naked, do you really want that?”

They both paused and looked at each other, the boy scratched his head “well that changed my mind”

“Also, you dropped your diary” he pointed behind her.

Y/N picked it up and removes all the dirt in it, “it’s not mine, it looks really really old and I’m not the type of person who writes in a stupid Diary”

“And who still writes in a Diary? It’s 2105” she added.

“Just keep it, there’s no way you’d find the owner anyways”

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